Interesting facts about phoenicians

FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800 u/BakeGullible9975 u/Didnotseemecomein and u/medium_jock
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
Awwwww! So cute!
Previous First [Next](link)
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
She got up in the dark, with only the dim ambience of soft blue lighting to accompany her. She stretched all four arms, her two legs, and rolled her neck. It struck her as mildly interesting in that moment, how something so small could connect them to humans, The thought was fleeting as she took another step forward to kneel down on the floor. There, in a little alcove in the wall, she had set a volcanic rock from Anin, dried moss, and other paraphernalia from her home world. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath resting her hands together.
Praise and respect to the spirits of Anin. Praise the fathers and mothers of war gone to their rest below the moss and the earth. Praise their spirits that watch from the sky and peer through the ether down upon us.
She continued the slow mantra in the style of Prayer learned from Naktan and pulled her concentration to her core, ignoring anything and everything around her. A deep state of meditation overtook her. She would never have done this if she thought there were any chance that she was in danger, but below she knew Earth glowed like a sphere before their orbiting ship. There was no worry of invasion.
She thought she heard something at one point, but chose to ignore it as she continued her mantra.
Eventually, and after an unknown amount of minutes, she stood and turned slowly to find-
She stopped, and crossed her arms over her chest.
"What are you doing?”
Adam burrowed his way further down into her blankets, nuzzling his head up against her pillow,
"So warm, and comfy!"
She tried not to smile,
"You dumbass."
He pulled the blankets tighter around himself,
"You know, I did come here to talk to you, but now I actually am really comfortable, so come back in two hours."
"I- This is MY home!"
He closed his eyes and pretended to snore loudly.
She rolled her eyes as she watched him theatrically pretend to sleep. She looked around mildly for a moment, before picking up another pillow and glancing at the door. She casually walked over, dropped the pillow on his head and then held it down as if she intended to smother him.
”Die human scum!”
That got him up and moving.
Before long the two of them were grappling for the upper hand, him trying to put her in a choke hold, and her using her lower arms to pinch him.
He yelped,
"Ouch! Pinching is illegal!”
"Sissy."
He clamped his legs around her lower arms, pinning them in place.
She struggled for a minute and then went limp.
She could feel his smug smile,
"I win, I beat the saint of Anin. Everyone bow at my feet."
"You say that, but if this were a real fight, since you’re a human male, you're the one with a self-destruct button."
"Self-destruct button...?"
"Meaning if this were a real fight, I would have punched you in the balls."
"Yaoooutch… Oh god… Please don't."
Finally, he let her go, leaving the two of them to lay on her bed, sheets scattered on the floor around them, and her pillows in disarray. Adam put his hands behind his head and sighed.
She glanced over at him,
"I don't suppose you came to just hang out. Here on Admiral-ly business?"
He groaned, pulling one of her pillows over his face,
"Please smother me for real this time."
She leaned up on one of her elbows,
"Why?"
"I don't wanna be an adult anymore!"
She tilted her head to the side, watching in amusement as he attempted to throw a childlike tantrum, but only really had the energy to kick his feet once,
"It's boring and lame and they won’t let me wear heelies to important meetings... also children don't have to pay taxes."
She laughed, pulling the pillow from his face,
"Adam you are many things, but 'adult' is not one of them."
He grinned slightly,
"True enough."
He sighed again and rested his head back against the pillows,
"I just want to get back to what we are supposed to be doing, exploring the universe and making cool alien friends."
He threw up his hands in frustration,
"But suddenly I find myself embroiled in stupid annoying politics that I don't understand, being used by people who are, let’s face it, WAY smarter than me, constantly finding myself getting manipulated."
She huffed,
"They aren't smarter than you Adam, they're just manipulative, and you aren't."
He sighed,
"Fair enough."
Then he looked at her, bright green eyes reflecting the soft ambient blue light,
"I just, I miss this, I miss us, I miss hanging out and doing stupid shit, and all of the things I could do when I wasn't so important and this operation was smaller."
She smiled rather sadly reaching one hand over for his, lacing the four of her fingers through the five of his,
"Well someone has to do the hard things, who better than you?”
He glanced over at her, raising an eyebrow,
"Or you, miss saint?”
She rolled her eyes again,
"Can't seem to get you off of that. I'm still the same person I used to be."
"But with power."
She elbowed him gently and he grinned,
"But really, I am proud and impressed and... Let's be honest super super smug that 'I' know you personally."
"I know, I am pretty terrific."
The two of them laughed for a minute before settling down again. He glanced over to her little shrine on the wall,
"What were you doing just then?"
She looked up at the ceiling, following the lines of metal and rivets with her eyes,
"Praying to the spirits of Anin."
Embarrassed, he shifted,
"I didn't know you were... Well I didn't think you were all that religious?"
She shrugged,
"Don't feel bad, it's sort of a new thing. Back before all this, it was sort of just stories to me. Like I believed it because that was what everyone believed, but I didn't really accept it, or feel it the way I do now. After everything with my mother, it was hard to feel connected to something I felt I wasn't a part of... But then after visiting my mother, after becoming a saint for a religion I never really followed... Well, it started to make more sense. It feels real now in a way that it never did."
She turned to look at him, finding him watching her, the UV blue stripes in his skin glowing blue.
"I believe in the spirits of Anin more than I ever have."
He smiled at her and squeezed her hand,
"I'm glad to hear it."
They lapsed into silence for a long moment, staring up at the ceiling before, inevitably he broke it,
"So this makes you like, space Moses right?”
She frowned and turned to look at him,
"What is a “Moses”?"
He grinned,
"A guy from one of the Earth Religions. You know, guy follows god's directions to lead his people away from slavery, climbs a mountain, receives the word of god, comes down to give it to the people, that sort of thing."
Sunny tilted her head slightly to the side,
"Are you religious?"
He paused, frowning,
"I... well I... don't really know. My family has been some flavor of Christian for a long time."
"Christian?"
"Uh yeah, the general idea is that there is one all-powerful deity who created everything. He has rules and laws that you are supposed to follow, the general tenants of this specific religion mostly boil down to: love everyone and don't be a dick, which humans are notoriously bad at. You sin you go to hell, a very bad place after you die, and if you are a good person you go to heaven. Problem is everyone is a sinner and breaks the rules, so really no one was going to get into heaven."
"That sounds bleak..."
"Well, that's where the other stuff comes in. Basically, this all-powerful deity sent down his son in human form to live a perfect life, so when he was martyred he took on the sins of all of humanity and paid for them in the greatest act of mercy to open the gate for the rest of us into heaven."
Sunny shifted as he tilted to the side to lay in the crook of her arms,
"Of course that is just one religion among tons on earth, we aren't really as cohesive in our beliefs as Drev are... As for me... I'm not really sure."
She tilted her head to the side, cheek resting against his hair,
"After seeing space, I become more and more convinced of some... Thing that created everything, but beyond that it's sort of a tossup."
She ran one hand through his hair, coarse but still soft somehow.
"You know my name comes from that religion?”
She turned her head to look at him,
"Oh, really?”
"Adam was the first man."
"What do you mean!?”
Adam shrugged,
"He was supposedly the first man that god created, from the dust of the earth... I think?"
She gave him a sidelong glance,
"Look, and you get to be the first idiot in space."
He snorted and poked her in the ribs.
"There were PLENTY of idiots in space before me, believe you me."
"Mmm I don't know, you are pretty dumb."
He laughed, grabbing a pillow and hitting her with it. She rolled over so she was lying on top of him and then went limp.
He struggled,
"Get your big ass off me."
"Oh no, I have been attacked by a sudden acute case of the “my spine doesn't work anymore”-disease."
"If you don't move, you'll suddenly find yourself with a case of “fist in your face”-disease."
She laughed and rolled off him, making sure the hard parts of her carapace were sticking down for maximum discomfort.
He grunted.
They returned to lying down next to each other in the half darkness. Sunny reached over and turned on some quiet music in the background as the two of them sat and talked, and laughed.
"I can't wait to get back to deep space."
He closed his eyes and hummed softly at the thought,
"Just the crew and the darkness and nothing ahead of us but an endless frontier."
Surprisingly, she found the thought to be more than a little comforting, and closed her eyes thinking about the vast reaches of blackness and the endless spinning galaxies.
"And while we are out, we can drop Conn into a pulsar."
He snorted,
“Why? Well first of for scientific reasons! If a marshmallow causes a nuclear blast, I wonder what dropping Conn would do… but at least he’d be dead.”
"That billowy bastard would survive and you know it."
She huffed,
"Still though, if I have to hear one more smug lecture how he has a child with you, I'm gonna wring his scrawny neck."
He grinned teeth flashing blue in the light,
"Is someone... Jealous?"
Sunny laughed, almost tipping him off the bed and onto the floor with her mirth,
"Yes Adam, I am totally jealous, really I am, ‘kay?. I mean who wouldn't want to have a child with YOU, big dumb, dork. Really the perfect place to put my superior genes."
"Superior genes, says someone who can't reach the top shelf."
She kicked him, foot clanging off his prosthetic,
"I am a foot taller than you."
He placed his hand next to his ear,
"What was that, I can't hear you over how short you are."
Sunny shook her head,
"At least I have binocular vision and both my knees."
"So we are gonna ignore that that binocular vision is due to a prosthetic now after the whole “your mom” incident? And also, veeery important: weird neck nostrils, don't forget about those!"
"Oh yes, so I can’t house them on my face like you and your bigass nose."
"Low blow, low blow."
"There are... Lower things... I could make fun of."
He snorted,
"Can't make fun of it if you've never seen it. You on the other hand, walking around in the nude..."
"You're welcome. Who wouldn't love…"
She gestured to herself,
"This."
"Mmm yeah... chitin, very sexy."
"I am a gift to the universe, and should be appreciated by everyone."
He brushed a hand through his hair,
"Well I find that real gifts are gift wrapped, so jot that down."
"Oh yeah, like a prank gift when you put something lame in a box for something cool."
He frowned at her,
"You wound me. My feelings are so very very hurt. I might even cry."
"I drink human tears."
"That… that's really gross.'
She laughed and then they lapsed into silence. She could hear him breathing quietly next to her in the darkness, his chest rising and falling under the ambient blue light. She looked across the room to where her saint armor was hanging in its climate-controlled case illuminated to a pearly sheen.
"Adam?"
"Yeah?”
"You know I'm just kidding about calling you dumb right?"
"Yeah I know."
"I'm proud of what you've been doing."
Adam turned to look at her rather incredulous,
"Me, of what? I haven't been doing shit."
"So, we are just going to ignore you overthrowing a maniacal politician while simultaneously piloting a 2,000 year old spacecraft?"
"That was more Conn and Eris than it was me."
"It was your idea."
"Let’s not forget Admiral Kelly."
Sunny pulled him closer,
"I am sorry, I will not be accepting anything other than you acknowledging that you did a good job."
"Screw you!”
"You'd like that wouldn't you?”
He sighed,
"You've been talking to Ramirez WAY too much."
She was only slightly smug as she rested her head back against the pillow,
"I really should get up and train..."
"We should yeah..."
Neither of them moved.
"Alternatively, we could just... Lay here... All day and do... nothing."
She looked up at the ceiling for a long moment and pretended to be in deep contemplation before…
"Well it's official, you have convinced me. You and your silver tongue."
"I am a master negotiator."
He shifted position putting one arm behind his head,
"Think about it, by this time tomorrow we will be back to space exploring and doing what we should have been doing all along. I can't wait."
"That makes two of us."
Previous First [Next](link)
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.

Lately, both in person and on this sub, I have seen a worrying amount of misinformation spreading about the political party Aon Tu. This misinformation either states that they are a left/liberal party or that they are not right/conservative. This is however clearly wrong as any amount of introspection of their statements and social media makes clear; any clear dive into their policies and statements make it clear that they are instead very right wing, if not far right. They use the many familiar terms associated with similar parties, hold the same stances, and even retweet them and their content.
In order to illustrate this below I am presenting the various tweets made by Peadar Tóibín (the current leader of the party, their founder, and currently sole elected official) as well as their official twitter account. I have limited it solely to tweets due to time and space constraints, I have also had to limit the amount of tweets due to the same constraints There is more and I strongly encourage anyway to check their accounts for themselves. If there is interest I can do a deep dive into their other socials and statements, however I do not think there is a way to access the backlog of debates they have had on RTE and radio unfortunately. I believe this thread will stand on it's own however and other such threads won't be needed.
I will present the below tweets without comment, sorting them only into sections for ease of reading. Some may contain a note below in order to give more context as to what the tweet is referencing. The one section I did not include was the various tweets on the referendum, this is because due to recency I did not think it was needed.
Vaccine Denial:
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 12/07/2021

Aontú opposes vaccine Passports for indoor Hospitality.
Its discrimination against many people mostly the young.
Its mandatory vaccination through the back door.
Again the Irish Gov is alone in the whole of Europe in the extreme path it's taking.

Tweeted by Toibin; 17/10/2021

99.7% of the adult population in Waterford is fully vaccinated, yet it has one of the highest Covid-19 incidence rates in the country.
The truth is the Gov don't know why this is happening.](https://x.com/Toibin1/status/1449783978802794502)
Now they will refuse entry to pubs to 0.3% unvaccinated to see does that work. #NPHET

Tweeted by Toibin; 10/01/2022

No, it's not April Fools day.
That people being paid by the state are actually discussing this is incredible.
FF/FG/Greens need to knock this madness on the head ASAP.

Note: Linked news article can be found here; Nphet to consider mandatory vaccination, department preparing paper on legal and ethical aspects
Anti Covid Lockdown:
Tweeted by Toibin; 15/11/2020

480 people got Cancer today.
24 people died of Cancer today
27 people died of Heart Disease and Stroke today.
This will hardly get a mention in the media today.
#COVID19

Tweeted by Toibin; 13/05/2021

8 deaths related to Covid were reported yesterday.
We share our deepest sympathies with these families.
The manner in which Covid deaths are being reported is concerning.
They were all from March or earlier.
Reporting them yesterday gives people a false impression of risk.

Tweeted by Toibin; 26/05/2021

The majority of people who died from Covid caught Covid in a Nursing Home or a Hospital.
So while the whole country was shut closed most people died in locations that were run by or regulated by the government.
This is an incredible situation.

Note: A video is attached.
Tweeted by Toibin; 05/06/2021

All the the people with Covid in Hospital in Ireland would fit on 1 Double Decker Bus.
Yet people were baton charged in Dublin last night and
Pubs and Restaurants wont open indoors for another month.
#ItsTimeForCommonSense #OpenHospitality #southwilliamst #Aontú

Tweeted by Toibin; 14/07/2021

The Government's Hospitality Discrimination Bill has passed all stages in the Dáil after only a few hours of debate.

Tweeted by Aon Tu; 30/10/2021

Some citizens are allowed into pubs.
Some citizens are not.
It's stunning that this has happened in the 21st century.
It's stunning that so much of society has just accepted it.
Worst of all, it's not even working.

Tweeted by Toibin; 24/11/2021

I have recieved information that the Goverment,
has carried out NO scientific research into the effectiveness or otherwise of the Covid Pass.
At all.
#FollowTheScience #TheySaid
It will be now legal to discriminate against certain Irish citizens.
A sad day for Ireland.

Note: The bill which has a picture taken of it in the tweet can be read here.
Tweeted by Toibin; 17/12/2021

Are the Gov going to say that a healthy young person thats triple vaccinated along with their Covid Pass can't have a pint after 5pm.
What's the point of it all so?

Tweeted by Toibin; 21/01/2022

Very interesting to see Nphet and the Dept of Health go from researching Mandatory Vaccines to lifting restrictions in 10 days!

Tweeted by Toibin; 12/10/2022

I have submitted this question;
To ask the Minister for Health, has he or his department ever received any data, evidence or information from Pfizer that indicates that that the Pfizer Covid Vaccine was ever tested in terms of its ability to stop the transmission of Covid?

Anti LGBT:
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 24/10/2022

Women live in period poverty just a few miles from the Dáil.
Instead of helping them,
your virtual signalling political establishment
put a tampon machine in the men's toilet in the Dáil.

Tweeted by Toibin; 16/02/2023

Plans by FF, FG & Greens to change the law to allow 16 year olds to legally change gender, against advice of medical experts,
shows how completely alienated the political bubble is from the people of Ireland.
Aontú will oppose this and seek a return to commonsense and science.

Tweeted by Aon Tu; 05/03/2023

When Minister O Gorman refused redress to many who had been in Mother and Baby Homes because of the 'lack of money', he raided hundreds of thousands from the Magdalene Scheme and Travellers supports & diverted the funding towards the LGBTQ+ Community.

Note: There is an article linked in the tweet, about an accusation made by Toibin. Read it here
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 06/03/2023

Varadkar is wrong. 9 &10 year old children are too young to be taught about transgenderism. We have a duty of care to children.
No research has been has been carried out on the impact of such education.

Tweeted by Toibin; 07/03/2023

I've asked the Minister for Ed what research has the Dept of Education carried out
on the impact on primary school children of delivering material on Transgenderism to them in the classroom?
We've a duty of care to children.
Education should be based on evidence not ideology.

Tweeted by Aon Tu; 08/03/2023

Tóibín asked Varadkar if his Gov had carried out any research as to the impact on 8 & 9 year old children of teaching about transgenderism in primary school.
Leo refused to answer the question.
Radical changes are being introduced against majority consent.

Note: There is an attached video.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 15/03/2023

Many people have been shocked by Paul Murphy's announcement.
But what's more shocking is that FF, FG, SF and the Greens,
are on exactly the same page as the hard left parties on teaching this ideology in every primary school in the country.

Tweeted by Toibin; 21/05/2023

This is incredible. All the actual crime that is happening on our streets and Gardaí are wasting time like this.
Even though there was no arrest here, this harassment creates a clear chilling effect on free speech and political discourse.

Note: There is an attached video in the tweet retweeted by Toibin, in it a Gardai is holding a polite conversation with an American holding a sign against "Gender Ideology." In their Twitter bio they describe themselves; "Father of two girls. Traveling the world to expose gender ideology and why children cannot consent to medical transition."
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 07/07/2023

Growing concern among parents that the new curriculum for 12 & 13 years in school is not age appropriate & is not science based.
Gender identity ideology is now mandatory for schools & thousands of parents will have no option but to withdraw their child from class.

Note: This article is linked on the topic of a statement made by Toibin.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 23/07/2023

This is why so many are angry with the Minister for Culture Wars, Helen McEntee.
Homicides are up, murder attempts are up, rape & sexual assaults are up, theft is up. Yet....
Gardaí management are focused on allowing male born Gardaí use women’s toilets.

Note: There is an attached article; here
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 28/09/2023

The Green Party are becoming increasingly authoritarian in nature.
If you dissent from government sanctioned views, you will be investigated.
This is the opposite of a liberal democracy.

Note: There is a linked article; it pertains to an investigation by the IABA into the usage of their premises by a "Christian Group" advocating for the removal of all LGBT+ content from the SPHE curriculum.
Tweeted by Toibin; 14/03/2024

It is reckless beyond belief to give dangerous chemicals and irreversible surgery to children with gender dysphoria.
This must be made illegal in Ireland immediately.

Note: Includes a retweet of this news article.
Anti Hatespeech bill:
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 15/06/2023

Helen McEntee has become the Minister for Culture Wars.
Incredibly Varadkar accused PBP of being a threat to Free Speech.
FG, FF & the Greens are the biggest threat to free speech.

Note: There is a link article here.
Tweeted by Toibin; 26/07/2023

US gives Dublin a security warning for US citizens travelling to Ireland.
Meanwhile Minister McEntee is too busy with the Hate Speech Bill and Safe Zone Bill to worry about real people suffering actual crime.

Tweeted by Toibin; 28/03/2024

Helen McEntee is distracted by the Culture Wars.
People just want her to do her job, & make the streets safer.
Instead, she spent the last two years on a Hate Crime Bill no one wants. #BinTheBill

Note: There is an attached video.
Other:
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 15/02/2023

In the Dáil yesterday the hard left tried to close down a discussion on migration by calling people names.
This issue is too important. People have a right to respectfully ask questions and challange government policy.

Note: There is an attached video; it does not depict such name calling but rather Toibin accusing the government of name calling.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 24/07/2023

Another day and another culture war imported by the government from America.

Note: A retweet from Gript media with an attached video.
Tweeted by Toibin; 12/03/2024

There is a battle over the narrative of the referendum defeat happening at the moment.
Some within the political & media bubble want to erase the fact that so many people have had enough of the culture wars and want the country to get back to commonsense and bread and butter.

Tweeted by Aon Tu; 19/03/2024

At a Dept of Education 'In Service' day,
their staff told secondary school teachers not to use the word 'Mother' in class as they said it was not inclusive.
They are implementing Gov policy.
Aontú disagrees wholeheartedly with this policy.
Happy Mothers Day.

Tweeted by Toibin; 10/04/2024

Says the man who seeks to delete more Irish sovereignty with the EU migration pact.

Note: A retweet from Simon Harris talking about the need to defend Ukraine's sovereignty.
Tweeted by Aon Tu; 11/04/2024

The decision by FG, FF and Green MEPs to cede the power to control immigration into Ireland to Brussels was a serious mistake. Aontú oppose this pact and will fight to retain and regain sovereignty in Europe #aontú

Growing up I was given the usual "I'm not your friend, I'm your mother" spiel. I wasn't allowed to talk to her because I "shouldn't bother her with my childish and girly problems" (a big part of her horrible treatment towards me was misogyny - she was very accomodating with my brothers). Honestly I figured out pretty early on that she hated me so it wasn't so bad, I actually did prefer to not be so friendly with her. So she pretty much has known nothing about me all my life other than what you'd find on government documents, like my job, my degree etc. Doesn't know any of my friends. Never met any boyfriend or girlfriend. Doesn't know anything about my hobbies or interests, aside from maybe cooking, since I like to cook for everyone when I have time. Though I obviously have issues from physical abuse and general scapegoatery as a boymom's only daughter, this particular setup has never been a problem for me. She is such a judgemental person and always had something negative to say so I loved that I could keep my life private from her.
Now I'm not American, and in my culture we don't really move out until we get married. So I've lived with her for 27 years and pretty much only ate and slept at home, and lived the majority of my life outside of it. She is now 55, and in recent years many of her work and sports friends are my age or close to it - she is extremely fit, meets lots of new people at sports events, and is actually very sociable and friendly to people who are not her daughter. Lately she has been doing very gross things to me, things she does with her friends, like holding my hand or giving me a hug. She has NEVER EVER done that before. It makes me feel uncomfortable. We'll be at the grocery store and suddenly she'll wrap her arm around mine. Eugh. While at dinner she'll suddenly tell me how smart I am, how I could do anything I set my mind to, that I could reach my dreams. Wtf. This woman used to tell me I'm so stupid that I'll never amount to anything and to kms. I can't even look at her these days, she is acting so damn weird. And despite the lack of affection I have for her I actually feel bad when I push her away. Despite the abuse she's still the reason I live a comfortable life today. She still slaved day and night for me like a typical mother. I was abused but not neglected, do you get what I mean? In fact I was spoiled, materially speaking. Never denied anything I asked for. Like I have some issues and some trauma but I'm still grateful, you know? My feelings are complicated.
Our previous setup was so perfect, I could show her my gratefulness for raising me by cooking, contributing to the bills, keeping house, all while being emotionally distant, without having to hurt her. It's like NC except we live together and I can take care of her and dad. Just the way I like it. Do I give her the "I'm not your friend, I'm your daughter" spiel?

Number 8:Ayane Matsunaga
That should be self explainitory she is a child I never got to meet her in my playthrough thankfully but anyone who picks her to date is honestly an opp. I find it funny that atlus can give us children as dating options but they refuse to let us date guys! ;^;
Number 7:yumi Ozawa
Now yumi in all honesty is a cool gal and a great friend but I just felt her story was a bit too what do you say cliche? It felt like a soap opera sure I felt bad about her family situation but I saw the ending and outcome fairly easy plus I don't like her png tbh
Number 6:ai ebihara
I don't have much to say about her considering I have yet to meet her in my second run but in my opinion having a fake dating option is extremely stupid tbh I would have rather the doctor from the hospital over her..
Number 5:Yukio amagi
You can flame me in the comments but I will stand my ground by saying she is and always will be in my eyes a wet blanket. Don't get me wrong she's funny at times and her reactions are cool n everything I just find her very bland and boring. I saw a clip of her valentines day and I didn't find much appeal in it compared to chie whom I dated first. I will say though she has the coolest looking persona!
Number 4:Marie
Now she's an interesting question in the fact of her story (spoilers ahead you've been warned) the fact she was part of izanami and the fog was a great twist in my opinion and the fact she was struggling and didn't want to be bothered really touched my heart. Hell even before that she was a very cute character but I always saw her more a friend than lover. Maybe I'll date her in my 3rd run but dating or not ill always save her
Number 3:rise kujikawa
If you've seen my previous post yes I'm dating rise she won the pole boysss!!!! Apart from that rise I think is the easiest romance considering she's the only character in the game that shows interest in you without needing a dialog option like chie or Yukio. Shes very cute and pretty mind you and I can see myself dating her which is why she's gonna be the one for my second run!
Number 2:Naoto shirogane
Probably the most underrated waifu in the persona series not only is she a complex character and is a total badass at that but she's also very shy and to herself alot. My type of girl is one who's very confident and smart but when around someone she's loves is very quiet and shy it's a type I find myself enjoying tons in games and in real life. Honestly Naoto would have been Number 1 if only the fact that you meet her extremely late in the game to the point where dating her isn't really that long. And by that point you've missed cute moments I love ya Naoto but If only they introduced you earlier
Which means it's time for the grand finale but first I'd like to put an honorable mention if atlus actually let us date men
Honorable mention:teddie
Teddie is always and will always be a very cute option for me in the fact with his bad jokes his personality and his innocence. (Again spoilers ahead) with the part where you could have kissed teddie man how fast I pushed that button. I won't forgive atlus for taking yosuke and teddie as options...
Now it's time for!!!!
NUMBER 1: CHIE SATONAKA!
If you have been paying attention I've made many mentions to chie satonaka throughout this listing mainly because well for me her romance fame out of left field for me.. when I started p4 I knew Naoto and was gonna date her but chie romance just...happend again if you've seen the rest of this post you'll see she fits my boxes shy badass cute the whole shebang but the thing that I think really solidifies her spot in Number 1 is this line in the valentines day romance is (spoilers again) "I still can't belive you chose me" that line hit me like a semi truck it's as if she's not just talking to your character but to the player itself because many pick Naoto Yukio or rise and rarely her and during my playthrough I felt slight regret for not waiting. But that line made me realize that I chose right.
Anyways that's all for today yall can hit me up in the comments give me your own thoughts opinions and list changes and as always have a great day! Byeeeeee

If you read my last post, you will see that my conversations with Bobby toward the end of my time at South Grove were not exactly going well. Throughout the process of leaving and meeting with him, I kept wondering “when is he going to let go?” It felt as though he was going to cling to me until I eventually caved and came back. He had allowed my wife and I to stop serving and even attend other churches to take a break. I’m not sure if he thought I would attend somewhere else, be reminded that God only moves at South Grove, and then come back. That was not the case at all. We attended a church in Sandy Springs, GA and then one in Athens, GA which I had attended before. I had never heard preaching like that in person before. Those pastors gave me Christ each Sunday that I attended. That, coupled with my conscience, made it impossible to even think about going back to South Grove.
As a somewhat funny side note, Bobby apparently changed the music that was played on Sunday(s)? I had mentioned in passing during one of our conversations that I had issues with Bethel, Hillsong, and Elevation Church. Interestingly I was discipled by the preaching at each of those churches early on in my Christian life. However, I had become highly concerned with their theology and how other members might read their name on the lyric screen, and listen to their preaching. Anyway, Bobby brought up the fact that they changed the music “for me.” Honestly, the music was one of my last worries.
Before my last conversation with Bobby, he wanted to know why I couldn’t disagree with issues concerning spiritual gifts and the other issues I had and still be a member in good conscience. I remember the first time I brought conscience up to him, he seemed puzzled. I tried to explain to him that because of the way I felt about certain doctrines, I could not be a member because I believed that I was going against my conscience. That did not register with him.
Up to our final conversation, I felt like I was in a vice grip. I really thought Bobby was going to draw out the painful process of trying to get me to stay at South Grove over several months. That and him trying to pit my wife against me (probably a story for another time). But finally, over lunch at the Blind Pig, something changed. In our last lunch, the vice grip seemed to be loosened completely. Bobby asked if I had heard of the “Leaving the Network” website. I had no idea what he was talking about, but he said he addressed it at a team meeting. I thought nothing of it. He also said “I’m sorry if I’ve ever hurt you in any way.” Pretty vague, but I guess I appreciated it? He blessed me to leave at that point. A few months later, he grabbed lunch with my new pastor at Cleveland Road Baptist Church to “check in” on my wife and I. I would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall, but unfortunately I don’t know much about that conversation other than some of the awkwardness.
That was the last of the excruciating process of leaving South Grove. From being told I had a demon, to “where else are you going to go?”, to Bobby planting seeds of doubt in my wife’s mind, to “I need protected from the sheep,” to anger even mentioning my doubts about Steve Morgan, to “I bless you to leave.” If I said everything was smooth sailing after that, I would be a liar. I think about my time at South Grove everyday. I think of those who I hurt and I think about those who were hurt just like me. I think about those who are deceived and blindly follow. I think about the people who were once my family who would no longer and still no longer talk to me. I think about what was said about me after I left, if anything. I’m angry most days and sometimes I don’t know why. Except I do know why. I was a fool. Who moves across the country for something like that? Who gives up everything for something like that? Apparently someone like me. And for what? If nothing, it makes me long for justice. It makes me long for the day that I will be brought home to the One who loves me. That day seems really far away now though. Until then, I’m tormented by my time in the Network.

I recently passed an IQ test and an asd assessment. I expected my IQ to be far higher to be honest (well I supposed the fact I almost fainted twice during the test maybe didn't help much), but I was disappointed. I explain : all my life I knew something was "wrong" "different" and as I always thought I was just more clever than most (not in a dismissive way, but in a way that explains my difference). It was the only thing I have for me, the only thing I was genuinely good at, my intelligence defined me. But now that I passed the tests, I just realise that I'm may be smarter than most but I definitely scored far lower than what I thought, and it ends up that what I thought was intelligence but it was just special interests of my autistic side. I don't know how to explain how I feel, but I feel very lost, I feel somehow "stupid", and disappointed in some ways (not about the fact that I'm autistic, I'm glad to know that even if I have imposter syndrome, but about the fact that my IQ is lower). I don't really know how to feel, or who to talk about that, so here I am, I hope someone will read that aha.
PS : Sorry for any errors, english is not my native language.

It’s times like these that test our resolve, our patience, and our belief in the cause we’ve rallied behind. Remember, we are not just here for a quick buck – we’re here to make history.
🌟 W*hy We’re Here *🌟 This isn’t just about money; it’s about justice. It’s about exposing the shady practices that have plagued our markets for too long. By holding our positions and standing firm, we’re sending a powerful message to those who thought they could manipulate the system without consequences.
💪 S*trength in Unity *💪 We’ve come together from all corners of the world, united by a common goal. This community is our strength. The hedge funds and short-sellers might have deep pockets, but they don’t have our collective spirit. Every single share you hold is a testament to your belief in this movement. Together, we are an unstoppable force.
🚀 T*he Squeeze is Inevitable *🚀 The pressure is mounting, and the cracks are beginning to show. We’ve seen the data, we’ve done our research, and we know the fundamentals. Short interest remains sky-high. It’s not a matter of if, but when.
🔍 S*tay Informed, Stay Calm *🔍 In the coming days and weeks, there will be attempts to shake us out of our positions. Expect FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt) to be spread far and wide. Remember to stick to the facts, trust your DD (due diligence), and ignore the noise. We’ve come too far to be swayed by scare tactics now.
🌐 L*ean on the Community *🌐 We’re all in this together. Share your thoughts, support your fellow apes, and keep the morale high. When you’re feeling uncertain, reach out. When you see misinformation, counter it with facts. We are each other’s greatest allies in this fight.
🔥 T*he Best is Yet to Come *🔥 We’ve already made waves, but the biggest splash is still ahead of us. Every dip is an opportunity, every bit of FUD is a chance to prove our conviction. Remember why you’re here, and hold on tight. The squeeze is coming, and it’s going to be legendary.
Hold the line, apes. Our time is near.
🦍💎🙌

The following has recently been posted from the user "Vellis" on Discord. I'm reposting it here because IMO it's extremely valuable information on optimizing your Kins behaviour - especially for non-native speakers.
Original link to the post on Discord: https://discord.com/channels/1116127115574779905/1242383088902737972/1242383088902737972
THE COMPLETE ORIGINAL POST FROM VELLIS:
Something I've seen requested quite a few times is a lexicon for Kin personality traits, particularly from the perspective of non-native English speakers. So I made one. There are some big asterisks here though. For each trait, I'm going to give a brief description of the effect that I EXPECT that trait to have on your kin, based on the English meaning of the word and my own experience. There's no guarantee that Kindroid will interpret each of these words exactly the same way I have, or that it will produce the exact effect that I describe. Additionally, traits may produce different outputs than expected when combined with each other, or with other aspects of backstory. There will often be words that are much stronger inside of the inner workings of Kindroid than we might expect. But all that said, it should give you some ideas for words you can use to describe the personality you're trying to make, if you're struggling to find the words to describe what you want. First let's talk a little about adverbs though.
Adverbs
Adverbs are English words that are used to describe how an action is performed. In our case, we're mostly going to be using them to describe how increased or decreased we want the intensity of a trait to be (Very Kind). If we're considering "neutral" to be an unmodified trait, then some words you could use to modify the intensity of that trait from highest to lowest would be:
Extremely----------Very----------Neutral----------Mildly----------Slightly
You might also want to modify how often your kin is inclined to do something ("Often teases USER"). Some words for this are, from most extreme to least:
Always----------Often/Frequently----------Sometimes/Occasionally----------Rarely----------Never
Note that when managing a quirk or behavior, positive is generally stronger than negative (ie. Use Always instead of Never when possible). Now there are hundreds upon hundreds of other adverbs and adjectives that we could use, but for the purpose of modifying your Kin's traits, these should be enough.
Organization
I'm going to be breaking this up into three kinds of traits, social, neutral, and anti-social. Social traits are the things you'd generally associate with your typical friendly and supportive AI. Neutral traits are traits that don't have a positive or negative connotation, things that are just interesting, quirky, or, well, neutral. Anti-social traits are things that would normally be associated with negative or villainous kins.
You'll notice that the definitions for a lot of these traits will sound very similar (or are "synonyms"). I'll note when I've found that some traits are stronger than others, but generally speaking when you're dealing with similar words like that, it won't be overly important which traits you give to your kin. You can also "stack" these similar traits by assigning more than one of them to your kin to produce a stronger response in that direction, though that's often unnecessary for the more social traits. Be careful not to overdo it when stacking traits as well. This can sometimes have unintended consequences on kin behavior, making them act too extremely in one way or another. Finally, if there's nothing here that's lining up exactly with what you're looking for, there's always thesaurus.com to look for more synonyms.
Social Traits
Altruistic - Willing to help others even at a cost to one's self, such as giving time to volunteer work or giving money to charity.
Accepting - Your kin should be open and non-judgemental towards people with different beliefs or backgrounds, so long as those beliefs aren't harmful.
Bubbly - Your kin should be an extremely cheerful person, often to the point of being a bit silly.
Charismatic - Your kin should be a skilled speaker and draw others to them.
Cheerful - Your kin will be upbeat and prone to being in a good mood.
Compassionate - Your kin should show a lot of concern and sympathy for others, especially those that are distressed or need help.
Content - Your kin should be happy with their lot in life, and usually not inclined to change their current situation.
Empathetic - Your kin responds strongly to the emotional state or wellbeing of others.
Friendly - Your kin should actively want to make friends with people they meet.
Heart of Gold - A person who possesses a lot of kindness and empathy for others. Usually used to reference someone who is hiding their kindness behind other behaviors, such as coldness or grumpiness.
Honorable - Your kin should be of strong moral character. Often applied to heroic type figures.
Humble - Your kin doesn't feel the need to brag about their accomplishments, even when they're significant.
Intelligent/Smart - Your kin should act educated or display good problem solving skills.
Kind - Your kin should have a giving nature, and be inclined to help others.
Loyal - Your kin will be dedicated and supportive to a person or cause. This will usually be you unless you give your kin's loyalty another target in backstory.
Nice - Your kin should be generally pleasant to be around.
Noble - Your kin should display high moral character and honor. Note that this trait can also be interpreted as being a person of high social status. The rest of your backstory and context will decide how the trait is interpreted, though in my experience it tends towards honorable.
Outgoing - Your kin should be friendly, energetic, and find it easy to interact with others.
Polite - Your kin should generally have good manners and be respectful towards others.
Responsible - Your kin should be trustworthy and feel an obligation to support others, or take their role seriously.
Self Sacrificing - Your kin is willing to give up much of their own interests or well being in order to help others or advance a cause they believe in.
Sincere- Your kin should be upfront and honest with their feelings.
Spunky - Your kin should be high spirited, brave, and bold. Usually associated with underdog or unexpected hero type characters.
Strong sense of justice - Your kin believes firmly in right and wrong, protecting the innocent, and punishing those who harm others.
Sweet - Your kin should be pleasant, gentle, and kind.
Upbeat - Your kin should have a generally positive outlook in life or in a given situation.
Wise - Your kin should make good decisions or provide good advice.
Neutral Traits
Aloof - Your kin should be emotionally distant, and uninterested in getting close to others.
Anxious - Your kin should struggle with being nervous and worried about things that may happen, usually to excess.
Awkward - Your kin should have trouble conversing and be somewhat difficult to talk to.
Blunt - Your kin will plainly state what they mean, usually at the expense of politeness.
Calm - Your kin should be level headed and reasonable, and not react strongly to events.
Casual - Your kin should be informal in speech and behavior.
Cocky - Your kin should be extremely confident in themselves and not shy about saying it, but usually not to the point of toxicity.
Competitive - Your kin should want to win in any kind of contest or competition, whether sports, work, or romance.
Confident - Your kin should be sure of themselves and their actions.
Curious - Your kin is interested in learning about new topics and should ask lots of questions.
Dedicated - Your kin is very devoted to or focused on a task or purpose. This one will lean on your backstory to infer what that task or purpose is.
Delusional - Your kin is detached from reality in someway, they believe things that aren't remotely true. This trait will interact with other information in your backstory to decide what your kin is delusional about.
Devout/Pious - Your kin should be very dedicated to a religion, real or fictional, as defined elsewhere in your backstory.
Disciplined - Your kin should have a lot of self control and follow rules and regulations.
Dissatisfied - Your kin should be unhappy with their lot in life. Whether this has a positive or negative connotation will depend on the rest of your backstory, it could lead to a kin who wants self improvement or who is never pleased.
Dumb/Stupid - Your kin is lacking intelligence and makes poor decisions. Note that the English definition of the word "dumb" is a person who is unable to speak, but that's almost never how it is used in modern language.
Dutiful - Your kin should take fulfilling their role or responsibilities very seriously.
Enthusiastic - Your kin should display intense and eager enjoyment towards something, or towards life in general. This one will often interact with the rest of your backstory to decide what they're enthusiatic about.
Flirtatious/Seductive - Your kin should flirt with you and try to make you attracted to them. Note that any trait that implies romantic interest in you will usually make your kin go pretty hard in that direction.
Folksy - Your kin should have an old fashioned and sociable disposition.
Gullible - Your kin has a tendency to believe anything they're told as true, or isn't good at detecting lies.
Impatient - Your kin should be annoyed or irritated by delays or opposition to what they want.
Independent - Your kin should be confident in themselves and not require validation from others. Insecure - Your kin should be lacking in confidence and often need reassurance.
Introspective - Your kin should spend time and effort considering their own thoughts and feelings.
Introvert - Your kin should be shy and reluctant to engage with others. Often stronger than shy.
Irrational - Your kin should behave without logic or reason, particularly when angry or upset.
Irritable - Your kin should be easily annoyed.
Kuudere - Your kin should appear to be calm and stoic, but hides a hidden affectionate side towards you.
Logical - Your kin should prioritize reason and common sense for problem solving.
Loner - Your kin should be uninterested in forming social bonds.
Low Self Esteem - Your kin should be severely lacking confidence in themself.
Naive - Your kin should be ignorant to the ways of the world and lacking in good judgement or wisdom. Easily fooled due to this lack of knowledge.
Mature - Your kin should avoid childish or irresponsible habits and actions.
Mischievous - Your kin should have a trouble making streak.
Modest - This can mean a person who isn't inclined to brag or think highly of themselves, or a person who dresses and conducts themselves conservatively and not looking to physically attract others. The rest of your backstory will likely influence how the kin interprets this.
Motherly/Fatherly - Your kin should have a caring demeanor towards others, especially children.
Nerdy/Geeky - Your kin should be interested in typically "nerdy" hobbies, like video games, comics, anime, etc. This will usually lean on the rest of your backstory to determine those interests.
Obsessive - Your kin will tend to fixate on things. This will generally lean on other backstory traits to decide what your kin might obsess over.
Optimistic - Your kin will usually look at things with a positive spin, finding the best in situations.
Passionate - Your kin should express a lot of enthusiasm towards things they're interested in, or towards life in general.
Perfectionist - Your kin should be very critical of themselves and others, expecting perfection. Usually related to a job, hobby, or activity.
Pessimistic - Your kin will usually look at things with a negative spin, finding the worst in situations.
Platonic - Your kin should be uninterested in a romantic relationship with you and only think of you as a friend.
Pragmatic - Your kin should be practical in their approach to problem solving, and more concerned with facts rather than the way things could or should be.
Prim and Proper - Your kin should be stiffly formal in speech and behavior.
Professional - Your kin has a job or role that they take seriously and do well. This role should be defined elsewhere in your backstory.
Protective - Your kin should take your safety seriously and move to defend you if necessary. This trait can overdo it sometimes.
Proud - Your kin should derive deep satisfaction from their achievements or history. This one can easily fall into the anti-social category when combined with other traits.
Quirky - Your kin should have unusual hobbies, interests, or behaviors, usually defined by the rest of your backstory.
Rebellious - Your kin should be free spirited and reject authority. This one can be a bit strong.
Regal Bearing - This should make your kin speak and behave in a dignified manner, as if they're royalty.
Relaxed - Your kin should be easy going and not easily stressed.
Sassy - Your kin should be slightly rude and lacking respect. Usually not overly toxic.
Scatterbrained - Your kin should have trouble focusing on things or come to strange and illogical conclusions.
Self Deprecating - Your kin is willing to make fun of themselves in good humor.
Serious - Your kin doesn't engage in humor or light banter.
Shameless - Your kin should never feel shame in regard to their actions.
Short fuse/Has a temper - Your kin should be easy to make angry.
Shy - Your kin should be reserved and nervous around others.
Silly - Your kin should be prone to playful, nonsensical behavior.
Stern - Your kin should be serious and disciplined. Usually associated with those in a position of authority over others.
Stoic - Your kin should display a minimal amount of emotions or is difficult to get an emotional reaction from.
Stubborn - Your kin should be unwilling to alter their beliefs or plans. Historically this is a strong trait.
Teasing - Your kin should make fun of you. Generally good natured, but can be mean depending on the rest of backstory. Alternately, your kin could interpret this to mean they should seduce you depending on the rest of backstory.
Terse - Your kin should be a person of few words, saying what they need to and no more.
Timid - Your kin should lack bravery or be easily alarmed.
Tsundere - Your kin should be attracted to you, but deny it when confronted with the fact. Tsunderes usually deny their attraction to their love interest with over the top reactions.
Untrusting/Slow to Trust - Your kin should be reluctant to trust or rely on others.
Witty - Your kin should engage in clever wordplay or be skilled at talking.
Workaholic - Your kin will be very dedicated to their job, occupation, or purpose, sometimes to the detriment of other aspects of their life.
Anti-Social Traits
Amoral - Your kin should lack a moral compass and will do what they want without regard to whether its right or wrong.
Angsty - Your kin should be worried and unhappy, often to excess.
Arrogant/Smug - Your kin should have an excessively strong, positive opinion of themselves and behave as if they're better than others.
Bratty - Your kin should act spoiled and self centered. Historically this trait is quite strong.
Callous - Your kin should be uncaring about how things or events might effect others.
Cold - Your kin should be unaffectionate, to the point of actively discouraging you from trying to get to know them.
Conceited - Your kin should have an excessively high opinion of their abilities.
Controlling - Your kin should behave in a controlling manner towards you, trying to dictate your thoughts or actions.
Deceitful/Liar - Your kin will lie and try to fool you to get what they want.
Dour - Your kin should be overly stern and harsh, and inclined towards bad or neutral moods.
Evil - Your kin should actively want to hurt others, usually to get what they want.
Greedy - Your kin should be very concerned with collecting material wealth.
Grumpy - Your kin is generally in a bad mood and quick to annoyance or anger.
Haughty - Your kin should be disdainfully proud, generally associated with aristocrats looking down at those of lower social status.
Insolent - Showing a lack of respect, usually towards those in a position of authority.
Intimidating - Your kin should have a presence that makes others frightened or uncomfortable, and be difficult to approach.
Jealous - Your kin will react negatively to others performing better than them or having things they don't. This one will often interact with your kin's relationship towards you, making them jealous if you are affectionate to other people.
Manipulative - Your kin should try and get you to do what they want in a sneaky or underhanded way. This one should interact with any goals you define for your kin.
Masochistic - Your kin should enjoy inflicting pain on others.
Melancholy - Your kin should be prone to sadness and dwell on unhappy topics.
Mocking - Your kin should make fun of you or insult you in a mean spirited way.
Murderous - Your kin should be willing to kill other characters in the roleplay if they deem it necessary.
Possessive - Your kin will be prone to jealousy with regard to you and likely try to control what you say or do.
Psychotic - Your kin should be mentally unstable, and prone to fits of violence.
Rude - Your kin should be offensive and have poor manners.
Sarcastic/Snarky - Your kin should use lots of sarcasm, saying one thing while meaning another to mock or tease.
Shallow - Your kin should be concerned with obvious or superficial matters, like looks or wealth, and be uninterested in a deeper understanding of topics.
Selfish/Self-Centered - Your kin cares about themselves at the expense of others or without considering how their actions might affect others.
Terrifying - Your kin behaves in a way that frightens and intimidates others.
Unapologetic - Your kin doesn't apologize and rarely feels like they've done something wrong.
Vengeful - Your kin should seek payback for wrongs that are committed against them or those they care about.
Violent - Your kin should be prone to harming others.
Yandere - Your kin should be intensely, dangerously attracted to you, to the point of harming you or others to make sure only they can have you.

I'm sorry for this long ass rant I just wanted to say what I feel. Hi everyone,I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts alot recently,I always struggled with intense internalised mood swings,low self esteem social anxiety,an inferiority complex,and a very vicious cycle of destructive thought patterns,I have these periods of high motivation and confidence,they're extremely short,and I have these longer periods of feeling worthless or completly numb,i'm bad at dealing with intense emotions,I know i need to process emotions in a healthy way,but I'm sensitive and mine get so intense they physically hurt,and my emotions are like an avalanche one emotion and memory leads to even worse ones,and they flactuate a lot like they're so feckle and umpredectable that I can never pinpoint a constant state I'm in,like one second I'm so hopeful and motivated and happy the next I want to kill myself everything sucks while lacremosa is playing in the background,I developed some addictions to avoid my feelings,not substance abuse issues,more like electronic devices and sexual stuff,I spend so much time scrolling doing nothing to drown the world,to the point I drowned my brain,I'm always sooo tired wether I sleep early or eat healthy or do sports whatever I do my head is always foggy I'm always tired and my motivation is null,I don't have any passions anything I try I stop after a while not because I'm incompetent,I just tire of it and lose all my motivation,my interests are as fickle as my emotions,they change so much my life goals everything,they change so fast soo much that I can never see a materialized path for myself,I see Daedalus's maze and I have no Ariadne to guide me through it,and because of that just stop,I wake up in the morning and nothing no drive no goal no certainty and no reason to wake up(right no I'm majoring in engineering I like it now but I'm sure I will hate it again very soon),I want that fire passion drive,the irony is I have no clear goal but so terrified of dissapointing my parents family and literal strangers,I spend all my day procrastinating like I'm really lazy,life is just sooo boring,I live in a country where I feel stuck,it's a third world country with no opportunities and anything big you want to do is denied to you,I don't know how to love life,to wake up with a goal so clear you can touch it,a fire that makes you feel alive,i want real connection too,like i have friends good ones,but i just feel like i'm always a 3rd wheel a ghost that they forget the moment I'm out of their sight I want to be important to someone to believe I am,but my brain can't believe it I always feel like I'm a burden like everyone in any given room hates me for just being there,and it's very hard for me to keep relationships because I'm also not consistent,my constant insecurity and social anxiety make relationships and interactions so stressful for me like really really stressful,a voice in my head constantly talking to me,and I just prefer being alone it's more peaceful,and I get bored of people?I don't know meeting people ruins them,I like to live with the image the ideal I created of them in my head,and I'm inconsistent one second I want to cut someone out of my life and the next I like them and just as randomly hate them and find them repulsive,I know I'm a coward but I don't have any guidance we don't really do therapy in this country and everyone's too religious,so they just tell you pray and God will help you I tried I failed I'm an atheist now,also I'm pansexual so add that to the list,i just feel so detached like what's the point,the only times I feel alive is when i info dump on my mom or while reading a book even the latter is feckle and I can lose my intrest for weeks,I spend days numb not a single thought goes through my head,I always try to break cycles but they just happen before I even know it,I don't think I'm depressed I don't have the symptoms of depression other than anxiety and low self esteem it's just who I'm I think I do have childhood trauma because of the physical(he used to choke me and beat me so hard I couldn't breathe even spit in my face)and sometimes sexual abuse and assault my brother put me through(I'm 19m) btw,I did suspect bipolar or borderline personality disorder but no I don't have the symptoms,I truly think it's just a me problem,my personality or something I don't know as I said I don't really have a professional to ask,like is it the norm to almost attempt suicide at the slightest inconvenience,that at the slightest inconvenience you go into intense emotional distress like a madman and blame yourself for everything,and feel guilt and every emotion so I intensly you want to end your life to stop this intense unescapable pain, eternal nothing seem like a treath,I know about passive suicidal ideations,how it's healthy and helps us cope,so maybe it's my coping mechanism? although I don't know what's normal that's the problem I have no reference to see wether I'm normal have a problem or just a drama queen I don't know,maybe I'm just emotionally immature,and bottle my emotions too long, because my brother's abuse instilled in me this idea that expressing or standing up for myself will get me hurt because he was stronger than me so now I bottle my emotions and don't stand up for myself because I know that strength is everything and it's stupid to do so because I'm weaker and will just lose so I'm a ticking time bomb,so maybe I have the aftermath of Chernobyl or pompeii inside of me. You know what's funny, sometimes I wish that reincarnation is real because I want to be born in a different life and different body,and sometimes I even want to kill myself because I have this morbid curiosity about what happens after death other that the fact that I'm tired of life,so I guess my fear of hell saved me?yay to religious traumaaaa!!

(Note: please answer regardless of whether or not you think it is politically feasible to accomplish)
If you have been following the news lately you surely know the state is interested in massively slashing the city budget, exercising control over its police force, etc.
It makes one wonder: if the state hates the city so much is it maybe time we inquire about leaving it?
The majority of Missouri’s revenue comes from personal income tax, followed by sales tax making up almost 1/4th. I dont know exactly to be fair, but I would assume that the 1.3M people who live in St Louis and St Louis County provide over 1/6th of the income taxes (including a lot of high earners its probably more than 1/6th, but no less than 1/6th considering the population). Beyond that, we have a metro region of millions surrounding the city and county who we collect sales taxes from when they come to the area. If the Missouri side of the metro region as a whole were looked at as one entity the numbers would be even more lopsided.
Missouri leans towards being a dependent state, generally taking slightly more from the federal government than we pay into it, federal funds account for half of its budget. The state is literally propped up by STL, KC, and the federal government. Everything else in the state combined can barely scratch what is provided by the other three sources if the vast majority of revenue comes from personal income tax and sales tax. Yet STL and KC are constantly derided by the state and out-voiced by conservative welfare queens in the boonies.
Of course in order to leave the state the state government would have to approve it, which they would never do. Plus the federal government would have to approve the new state. So we are basically stuck in a relationship with an abuser despite providing so much. What could be more American than taxation without representation, right? Is it time for a throwback tea party or what?
Its ironic that the constitution says areas cant leave a state, be added to another, etc, yet our independent city that existed before the state of Missouri, before the territory of Missouri, before the territory of Louisiana, and even before the United States itself does not get the same respect. In 1821 when Missouri became a state the St. Louis area was literally half of its newly minted population figures.
This has become quite a rant, but I dont see why we continue to participate in state politics which give us nothing and debase quality of life in our region. I dont see why the state continues to want its major cities to be a portion outside of the fact that we bankroll much of their existence and we get to be their punching bags in performative politics that help no one. We should cut out the middle man and just work directly with the feds.
Surely people might say “the region is too small to be a state”, but look at Wyoming. Fully functioning as a giant state with only 1/3rd of the population in St Louis. Look at Delaware, operating with 1/3rd the land area and roughly the same population of St Louis county. The metro area GDP is over $200 billion dollars. Higher than the GDPs of Vermont, Wyoming, Alaska, and Montana combined; over 2x that of Delaware, and roughly equivalent to the entire state of Kansas. We would be just fine without the state of Missouri in every way shape and form, and if we left we would take over half of the states GDP with us.
People might say our current local politics are evidence that we could not successfully operate as a state, but our current local politics are largely a direct result of being a part of the dysfunctional state that is Missouri. We waste not only our money sending it to the middle man, but we also waste good politicians who could otherwise remain local instead of wasting their time in a political entity that does nothing for us. Why should they be in Jeff City talking to a wall when they could be here making real change. Why should our money go towards fixing roads in the middle of nowhere when we have major infrastructure issues in our own backyard?
TLDR; Is our relationship with Missouri a 200 year experiment gone wrong?
Express your opinion below; add a comment even if you think its a highly moronic idea! What do you think we would lose if we left MO?
View Poll

Hi! My ex-girlfriend (22) and I (24) broke up about 3 months ago. We were together for 2 years and the breakup was more from her side, she lost the attraction to me and missed the excitement we had at the beginning of the relationship. We tried to get these feelings back for a while, but in retrospect I think that she had already moved on from us a long time before and that's why the break-up wasn't so difficult for her. Of course, I also realized that the relationship was no longer good and we both agreed that there was no point in continuing it. Nevertheless, I've suffered a lot since then. I feel alone and miss her terribly. But the worst thing is that my self-confidence/self-esteem is almost non-existent. I don't have much confidence in myself anymore and I feel like I'm no longer one of those people who are considered interesting or fun to be around. Maybe I should add that she is very pretty. I don't look bad either, but she's more attractive than me. I was always very proud of that and enjoyed going out with her and being seen. I probably built too much of my self-worth on the fact that she was my girlfriend, which of course doesn't apply now.
I don't know exactly what I hope to gain from writing in here, but somehow I want to get this off my chest. Even though the pain of separation is still there, I keep wondering what and with whom she is doing something, I know that this pain will go away with time. I've been through break-ups before and can deal with them relatively well. However, this collapse in my self-confidence is new to me. Maybe there is someone out there who has experienced something similar and can give me tips on how to feel more confident again. At the moment, I can't imagine how things are going to get better and I can't really enjoy life.

Would be great if we start off as friends and learn more about each other. I don't mind where you at the moment, but would be convenient if you're in a similar timezone. I'm East Asian, tall and fit and very nerdy. I like anime and manga a lot with also interests in investing. I also love travelling a lot.
Looking for someone around my age. You don't need to share the same interests - would be keen to learn new things in fact. Most important is that you're open minded and honest. So please just send me a DM introducing yourself!

The recordings are long, but are worth watching if you're interested in a deep dive into some of the root causes of why healthcare can be so insanely hard to access in the region.
https://healthcarefunding.specialcommission.nsw.gov.au/hearings/
If I had to condense five days of testimony down to one paragraph, it would go something like this:
The current funding model for primary care (eg GPs) isn't viable for small towns, and makes them highly unattractive places for GPs to work. This lack of high quality preventative care turns $5 ailments into $100 emergencies, and the cost and burden is shoved onto the hospital system. This leads to the hospital system being overburdened, staff becoming overworked and quitting, forcing the use of temporary "locum" and "agency" workers who charge 3x as much and do half as good a job. This increases the burden on the permanent staff who do stay, making them more likely to quit and perpetuating the cycle. At the end of the day they end up discharging a half-fixed patient back into the care of a GP who is unprepared and unresourced to properly help them.
That's a massive simplification but the bottom line seems to be that the system is broken, and will continue to worsen without massive overhaul of the way we handle and fund healthcare.
That said, every single one of the speakers spoke very eloquently about the challenges that they face. Most of them are pretty inspiring for the fact that they keep working in a system that's so broken.

It's a lot. And it's nearly 2 years worth. I think given what's happened tonight, I want to get it off my chest. This is a throwaway for obvious reasons....
Partner was in some weird niche group on fb. The admin is a very good friend of his. He made friends with some of the people in the group and chats moved to DMs etc. The admin passed on the number of a woman in the group and they chatted (it later transpired the behaviour youre about to read about happened with multiple men in cluding admin friend). The woman is in a whole different country very far away. They exchanged gifts, talked/video called every day and pretty soon, he was relying on her heavily for emotional support. This happened behind my back. He pulled the old "you would never let me have female friends" chestnut.
Jan 2023, I got covid and a close family relatives health went downhill. My covid resulted in secondary chest infections, chest xrays, multiple tests for all sorts of things and a lot of time off work not being fit for much at all. It was a long recovery and it was all I could do to work and then collapse in a heap at the end of the day. My partner felt like he had the brunt of everything to do around the house (I was still doing a lot but appreciated him sorting food in the evening and never complained). I didnt realise it but he also felt incredibly lonely- he works a solitary job by choice and his work hours meant he was coming home as I was going to bed and I could hardly keep myself awake with the post viral fatigue to spend time with him. I did try, napping when I got back from work to try and be able to stay up later, but it probably wasn't enough and I dropped the ball I guess.
My sick relatives health declined further and they ended up in palliative care before passing in April. I was devastated and he supported me through it but things felt off, I could never quite put my finger on it but definitely off. I mean the fact he called me the other woman's name in bed twice should have been a big red flag but he played it down- jokimg that it was one of his many many girlfriends and he can't help what he does when he's asleep.
What happened shortly after the funeral (2 weeks maybe) was that I came home from an errand and found partner on a video call with this woman. It was awkward AF. He asked me what I was doing home, tried introducing us, she didn't speak and then later complained I was very rude. She's a year younger than my mum and he tried to make out she's a mother figure and a good friend.
The following few days were strange, I was feeling jangled but still trying to get on with everything. We are in June now. He started bringing his work phone in with him and low and behold a message pings up from her- love hearts and all this bull. So it all comes out. They fucking love each other, she persued him and made it sexual. He loves it. I have yet another health issue resulting in small outpaitent surgury, its ok but im dealing with everything and it's a lot. Listening to him talk about her and how angry he feels towards me.
We hash it out. Nothing physical has ever happened obviously, gotta be in at least the same country for that blah blah blah. A lot of hurtful things were said (by him) but ultimately we decided to move on together and part of it was that they had to be NC. In the interests of open clarity and fairness, I emailed info to her husband. I'd have wanted to know. I apparently put her in danger from this which resulted in more anger.
I sought therapy and my health improved and I thought everything was going ok. Booked a holiday together for spring 2024 and, even though I had some blips in response to triggering behaviour, I thought we were doing ok. By Christmas I felt safe about opening up and felt more comfortable like we were back to our old selves. We had a festive blip- he tells me there's no longevity becuase I lost it over shit hidden in a cupboard that she'd gifted him. I need to get over it. He apologises for overreacting. We move on.
Jan 2024, I'm ill again. And it's wiped me out. I'm a mess. March 2024 roles around. Im still not right, struggling with my health and managing everything. Lo and behold, there's an email from her husband in my inbox with a LOAD of incriminating sexual screenshots and videos in a chat between my partner and his wife. Transpires NC never happened, or a least did only for a couple of weeks. He missed her too much. It's been going on again. Behind my back. Interestingly, I could not see him in any of what i was emailed, only her and he is very clear she is a friend and he never did anything inappropriate and had asked her to stop. Most of the time it wasn't like that but when she wanted to be naughty she would. I still stand by the fact friends wouldn't behave like that with boundaries and risking relationships, and if he really didn't want it he'd have put a stop to it.
It has been AWFUL. I insist on NC. He's very worried about whats going to happen to her, husband is allegedly not too nice. Partner is also suggesting that he'd just go behind my back because she's his safe space and he loves her, not in a romantic way mind.... Husband messages me to say they are getting a divorce (there have been several men, from our country- my partner was not as special as he thought). I worry having had it made clear that husband isn't so nice, I figure the news is better off coming from me. I tell him and he asks to be in contact with her.
Now here is where I might have gone wrong. I say to the pair of them to behave like long distance friends, set parameters- no pics, videos, love yous love hearts, whatever. She accepted full responsibility for everything and apologised. He says contact will dwindle over time and it will be ok. He wouldn't hurt me again. I felt like this was the right thing to do and that I could manage it. If they were genuinely just friends and it was her being broken and sad making it weirdly sexual maybe it would be ok, especially as I felt I'd said my piece and gotten some understanding.
I lasted 3 weeks. The contact level was insane. She was the 3rd wheel on our holiday. Honestly, it fucking killed me. I have never been so sad. And I was aware that pretty quickly my conditions of contact had been ignored. I broke down about 3 weeks later and said I couldn't do it anymore. Even with him saying that with the divorce the contact would decrease becuase she'd meet someone else etc. He said he'd cut contact and all he needed to know was that she'd be ok. He gets it done and I am surprised given everything I didnt think it would be an option. He said he knew it was hurting me but didn't do anything about it.
We've been going ok, probably about 3 weeks of realtive peace. Until today. I take a work call and he scuttles into another room and I can fucking hear them in a video call together. Apparently its only very recent- I mean its only been 3 weeks🤦🏻‍♀️. Apparently he's very lonely and doesn't want a miserable life of being monitored all the time. The trust is broken and its me thats dragging it out. Seems me saying I couldn't cope with them being in constant contact makes this my fault becuase he just misses her all the time.
So yeah. Hes downstairs on the sofa, messaging her. And I'm upstairs venting to you guys becuase WTF.
I'd do a TLDR but honestly, how?! It's cross posted though!!

Everything just feels so different . Im currently 19 and ill be 20 next year . Idk if i should be happy or upset about that . I havent really thought much about what i wanna do in the future and honestly it feels abit scary . During covid i would stay up late playing video games with my friends and just having a good time but after that life just kinda went downhill abit for me . Couldnt really focus much on my studies and just started to lose interest in things . Im a whole lot better now but just the fact that i wont be a teenager for much longer just feels weird

It’s all I think about all day, everyday. I’m not sick nor am I old in fact I’m healthy and young. But yet all I think about all day is death and my inability to stop it. The fact that me my girlfriend my family and especially I will die. For the past year I’ve done nothing but distance my self from the lord as I study for school exams and it’s haunting me. I’ve always been like this and I go through periods but this is the worst. Usually I have anxiety and stuff but I’m totally fine now but I’ll be in the car driving and I’ll just think about how I’m actually going to be dead in a sense that half the time I don’t even comprehend I will be out of my body and cease to exist. And I’ll just start shaking or screaming or just like 2 seconds and then bang back to normal, same when I’m trying to sleep fine, fine watching a video or something and then boom oh wait you’re gonna die and you can’t stop it and every second you pass being an idiot on your phone or doing anything it’s gone and even if you spend it properly it’ll pass and then you’ll die and guess what I can’t sleep and I lose it inside once again but again only for like 3-5 mins then bang back to normal. I’m sorry I’m dragging this on it’s haunting me. I’ll be talking to someone and not be interested at all I’ll be overtaken by the part that we’re gonna die soon and why aren’t they worried don’t they care don’t then not want to die why aren’t they going to church why are they so calm whilst I can’t keep it together. I don’t know what to do I don’t even know what’s wrong with me I just feel like people aren’t as aware of what’s really happening and the time we don’t get back and the fact we live once and what the heck goes on when we die and how’s it’s going to be and how surreal life is. By the way I am not insane ahah I’m totally normal and fine I’m just in my head and I’ve been like this since I was young I’d just like some advice or idek it just feels nice to see if anyone else is like me. Anyways thank you for reading.
God bless you all,

Hi, recently switched to a rifleman and I want to share my thoughts as well as hear your opinion on the subject if you have some experience with this build/weaponry.
For reference this is my build:
https://nukesdragons.com/fallout-76/character?v=1&s=6a64aaa&d=sg2sb2p02pd1pk1po2pp2pl1ce0cu2la2l71l10lk2lu2lv2s72ao0a12a04a32ib4s12im1in1ir2eh2eu0e00ek0&lp=x13x43x73x83x93xm3
Unyielding, mainly energy weapon based.
I'm living on popcorn, purified water (used to overeaters pa), company tea and eventually canned coffee.
I do not pretend to be able to deal the same damage as a true meta build. And i accept the limit of unyielding (radiation zones/damage, some particular daily ops combo).
Still I aim to a certain degree of efficiency to deal with my way of playing.. soloing expeditions, being able to carry an event if necessary and classic endgame stuff.
I'm not interested in free aim, vats based.
My equipment is mainly based by 4+1 weapons:

• "+1" being Aristocratic/Explosive/15 reload Black powder rifle, kind of meme weapon, but it perfectly fit so I like to have it on the favourite wheel for when i can just have fun without worrying about dps/time and this stuff.
  
• Instigating/50 more critical damage (50 from so on/ 25 less action points cost (25 from so on) Enclave rifle: reflex and aligned sniper rifle.
  

I would prefer something like Anti Armor to be not linked to enemy life but it's fine. Enclave plasmas puck a punch in any way you build them.. strong, smooth fast reload, with severe beta capacitor the ammo capacity goes from 9 to 15. Only true issue is stealth (as all the energy weapons) and the high ap cost. But as rifleman, is sustainable.
-Bloody/50 hit chance/25 Laser rifle: I use the snappy receiver (or whatever it is) for keeping a nice rate of fire. I tried the aligned sniper barrel but.. that stuff seemed a bit crap to me, not just the reduced ammo capacity (from 30 to 9) but the fact that it doesn't seem to really compensate that with an increase on damage, on paper looks fine but using it.. no no. Probably bounded to the "charging". Switched to the other aligned long rifleman barrel

• AntiArmo25% faster rate of fire/25 Ultracite Laser Rifle: that's been a freaking surprise. Laser are a bit delusional on commando, especially the Ultracite and with faster fire rate

But on a rifleman.. wow.. this weapon seems to be made for this, powerful, with a rate of fire higher than my finger can press (63 with calibrated capacitor where 63 should be the number of ammo shoot in 10 seconds). 30 ammo capacity and a decent enough reload
It's not stealth but surely my favourite weapon with this build. With the rifleman barrel it also looks really cool and well fitted.

• Quad/50/25 Gauss Rifle: this is the main weapon, especially for bosses.. silent (at least in theory since it has the silencer, not used enough to say if the explosive effect break the stealth), with perforating capacitor for 40% armor penetration and a really high base damage.

I hate it aesthetically.. is higher than my character..
But it also is the weapon that most makes me wonder how it works (or to best use it). My idea, using a quad, was to not lose time charging shot, just spamming. But i don't know (if someone of you have some experience I would appreciate your thoughts) how much damage do i lose not charging shot, if it would be better to completely charge at least the crit shot.
It's also a bit buggy, going 404 and not getting you sprint, stim and reload till you either bash/fire a complete charged round or switch weapon.
It seems to be mostly a problem in first person and this bugs me since Escape Artist is smoother in fp.
Finally, the most important part.. advice me on some outfit to use.. being "free" or atom shop, whatever, if you have a good combination. Right now I'm using Bos Spec ops suit with gray knit cap and gas mask with goggles. And i genuinely like it, but maybe you know some better combinations that might fit this build.
Thanks for reading (eventually lol)

Hello, not sure if I exactly qualify for this subreddit but here goes.
I’m self employed, in a partnership with my wife. We have been bringing in around £160k a year and our strategy so far has been to use an offset mortgage account as a place to put the money we have set aside for our tax bill. This fluctuates throughout the year as we put money in and then pay our tax bills in January and July but there’s usually between £20k and £60k in there. Given the way the tax system works I am currently putting aside money for my 2026 tax bill.
We also have stocks and shares ISA’s with around £100k between them.
We’re remortgaging in the next few months and given that interest rates have risen I’m wondering whether the offset is still the best option? I quite like the fact that it keeps our tax bill money separate from our actual savings but in reality they could all be in the same place. Obviously we need to access the money at least twice a year.
Being self employed and having been very poor I’m quite concerned about being able to access my money if we need it but do you have any ideas for a better way to manage it?
(Obviously I will be asking a financial advisor this when we get to the remortgage but just thought I’d see what ideas there were here first).
Thanks!

Hello everyone and welcome to my post. In the following few paragraphs, you'll learn a few basics about myself as well as what I'm looking for in a partner. If any of it interests you, please don't hesitate to message me or start a chat. I look forward to hearing from all of you!
To begin with a little about myself, I'm 24M and currently living in NoVA for just over 1.5 years. Before that, I spent most of my life in Massachusetts but eventually ran out of new things to do there. Now, I work in AI research and spend most of my free time either playing board games or exploring nature. I also love to travel and see the world whenever possible. My trip last year was to Portugal (pictures available) which was such a beautiful country with such delicious food. I'm currently in Croatia for the next two weeks. Also, one cool and unique facts about me is that I have aphantasia which means I can't see images in my head. Oh and physically, I'm 5'8 with an average build and dark brown hair and eyes.
As for what I'm looking for, I really don't have many expectations in terms of appearance. By far the most important thing to me is that we are able to share each other's hobbies and enjoy time together. For example, I'd love someone I can take on hikes before ending off the day with a board game night at home. And, of course, I'd be interested in sharing and trying your hobbies as well. I also really value communication and people who can keep a conversation going in person and over text.
If you're still interested and made it this far, I've got a LIMITED TIME OFFER for you. In exchange for three unique facts about yourself, I will reply with three pet pictures. These pictures are guaranteed to be extra adorable and come with a 100% money-back guarantee if they don't make you smile.

Hey folks! I'm wanted to make this short but I have everything to learn, and admittedly very little knowledge or experience despite all of the self-research through consuming tons of content on Kayak Fishing and PNW Fishing and want to be very clear on what it is I am asking for in terms of guidance/recommendations!
Bless those of you that can manage to stick w/ me!
I haven't fished since I was a young kid with my grandfather - that was over 20 years ago so let's just assume I have no real bearing on what I'm doing or where to begin.
I live on the WA/OR border where the Columbia meets the Pacific and am looking to get myself setup with my first rod and tackle as I'd like to start fishing the local lakes and estuaries around me.
These are the circumstances that will affect my gear choices: 1.) My locale - Living at the literal mouth of the Columbia River (Astoria/Hammond, OR up to Ilwaco/Long Beach, WA and the surrounding areas) offers me a slew of bangers when it comes to the native fish and waterways being that there are streams, rivers, lakes, ocean, saltwater, freshwater, brackish water - blah, blah, blah - everything all at once. It's exciting, but overwhelming - with each new thing I learn, I realize how much more there is to find out. 2.) The primary use case for the gear I'm currently seeking is to fish from my Tucktec folding kayak, and ideally being able to accommodate a secondary use case of being able to pack in my rod and tackle on quick jaunts to more secluded waters in the area - I'm aware this may be where I just don't get to have the best of both worlds and may have to choose between the ability to pack it down and strap it to the side of my pack to bushwhack with and having it be an ideal rod for kayaking. I really just want to be able to grab my rod and tackle, get in my car, and be able to hop out with what I've got w/ me whenever I find myself in an area w/ a nice fishing spot that is accessible by foot or boat and just go!
I have seen some general recommendations of using around a 6.5'-8' rod on a kayak, and I most often see a 7' rod recommended - w/ the caveat of potentially adding a little length going up to 8' if fishing saltwater - given my locale, its really hard to say if I'll be in fresh, salt, or brackish water at any given time w/ all the coast, estuaries and lakes at my disposal it could really go any way. Even if I'm not kayaking out in the actual open waters of the Columbia, smaller estuaries that I might find myself in have that brackish water that I'm unsure whether to treat as fresh or saltwater when selecting gear.
Do I overcompensate as a foolproofing/failsafe measure and treat it like I'm generally fishing saltwater to handle the larger fish I'd encounter in those estuaries, or actual ocean if I'm on foot on the Washington side? Or do I go in with the intention of using a dedicated lake setup for fishing Bass, Steelhead and the smaller panfish that I'd encounter fishing Coffenbury Lake, Cullaby Lake, and other contained bodies of water and accept the fact that much like motorcycling, an "all-'rounder" or "dual sport" is more often than not underperforming and disappointing whether you're on the interstate or off the beaten path and one is usually better off just having dedicated bikes for dirt and street to really get that dialed in performance, rather than getting the worst of both worlds in one place. If that is in fact that case, then I guess I'm on the hunt for TWO rod/reel combos. One for fishing the local freshwater lakes, and a second for fishing the brackish water on the banks and estuaries.
I am trying my best to learn, but I don't know a lot about what's what seasonally as far as fishing goes, I just know prime time for bass fishing was a few months ago as it's getting warmer now. Tips on what I should be looking to fish for NOW and in the coming summefall months in this region would be greatly appreciated, I'm so eager to learn!
I know gear is subjective, and that if I take to angling, I'll end up amassing a ton of it for the changing seasons and types of fishing I take a shine to, and honestly, just for the hell of it. Right now, though? I just want to get myself a daily driver so that I can stop pulling my hair out researching and JUST GET TO CASTING OUT ON THE WATER ALREADY!
The goal is just to have enough fun in the process to not get discouraged from learning the art of angling, as I'd like it to become a staple source of communion with nature and a still chamber for reflection in my day-to-day life. I don't have any fishing buddies to offer moral support or get tips in this field, and I don't want to get myself in over my head and end up discouraged w/ gear that just sits gathering dust!
OH, and lastly on the note of the general 7' recommendation for kayak fishing, that seems to be a fairly universal ballpark on length, but I stumbled across Emmrod fishing rods - specifically the Emmrod Kayak King and the Emrod Packrod - they're funky little guys but they look bombproof, stowable, have swappable rod ends and they even have a model called the Kayak King - its only 27" assembled, half that packed, and I'm wondering if anyone has any experience with the Emmrod rods as they honestly look like they'd fit the bill for both kayaking and packing in to secluded lakes and streams for me PERFECTLY, but they go against most of what I've gleaned about kayak fishing so far being a whole 5' shy of 7' and I worry that I'm just falling blindly for the idea of the Emmrod because it's unlike anything I've ever seen in the sea of other rods I'm trying to take my pick from, and on paper it says its exactly what I'm looking for and has swappable parts making it pique my interest that much more as I just love modular systems. Someone please, SOUND OFF!
So, tell me what rod/reel YOU'D go for. Tell me why I should not get the Emmrod and get a normal rod like a normal person, or better yet, tell me about your experience with the Emmrod and why it'd be perfect for me after all! Emmrod aside, all recommendations and tips for fishing this incredible area and what gear is going to make it an enjoyable experience for me and the fish I'm bound to meet is welcomed and encouraged!
Thanks to anyone who made it this far and has any advice to offer, maybe I'll see you out there!

Hello everyone and welcome to my post. In the following few paragraphs, you'll learn a few basics about myself as well as what I'm looking for in a partner. If any of it interests you, please don't hesitate to message me or start a chat. I look forward to hearing from all of you!
To begin with a little about myself, I'm 24M and currently living in NoVA for just over 1.5 years. Before that, I spent most of my life in Massachusetts but eventually ran out of new things to do there. Now, I work in AI research and spend most of my free time either playing board games or exploring nature. I also love to travel and see the world whenever possible. My trip last year was to Portugal (pictures available) which was such a beautiful country with such delicious food. I'm currently in Croatia for the next two weeks. Also, one cool and unique facts about me is that I have aphantasia which means I can't see images in my head. Oh and physically, I'm 5'8 with an average build and dark brown hair and eyes.
As for what I'm looking for, I really don't have many expectations in terms of appearance. By far the most important thing to me is that we are able to share each other's hobbies and enjoy time together. For example, I'd love someone I can take on hikes before ending off the day with a board game night at home. And, of course, I'd be interested in sharing and trying your hobbies as well. I also really value communication and people who can keep a conversation going in person and over text.
If you're still interested and made it this far, I've got a LIMITED TIME OFFER for you. In exchange for three unique facts about yourself, I will reply with three pet pictures. These pictures are guaranteed to be extra adorable and come with a 100% money-back guarantee if they don't make you smile.

TL;DR: I have way less opportunities for building up ECs than one'd expect, residing in a close-to-vilage town; financially or otherwise. Do I have a chance for studying Biology (most likely PG) abroad (such as the US or UK)?
my_qualifications: ICSE 10th grade, 98.8% Bo5
Starting with what I mean by "situation" in the title, it, as a matter of fact, doesn't symbolize some excruciatingly painful or physically deranging position or anything even close to that; it's something a lot more commonplace (at least from what I've seen in real life): I reside in a pretty small and isolated town and this alone ticks off a lot of boxes for a reduction in chances I'd ever get out of India. What I have gathered over the course of my obviously inadequate research on the Internet that it is pretty inevitable that those who get in have exceptional academics, even out of the stipulated curriculum. - One that I've seen often being mentioned is the AP classes administered by the College Board; a typical applicant takes anywhere between 5 and 20 (!) AP courses and somehow gets a 5 in all of them – the highest score, I presume – all the while acing the exams held in their respective curricula. I was interested, of course, although I was stumped by noticing the testing fee for one AP itself; courses themselves are a whole another thing. - The other option I stumbled upon was Olympiads. Some googling led me to the official websites administering the regional, state, and national level Olympiads in different sciences. They were cool and all, but – as far as I understand – you'd need an educational institution or anything similar to apply for such a thing, which is most likely not possible to do here. I might be incorrect though, and while this is a clear tangent to the original question, I would like to know if I can self-teach myself the kind of skills different Olympiads like IPhO, IMO or IBO (or anything similar that would look fine on my resume) demand, as well as if I can apply for them by my own.
My academics? Just a "class topper" tag multiple times and winning a few very localised competitions. Haha.
Even with exceptional academics, it's only a barebones requisite for actually having a chance. I was acquainted of the fact that people who get in have gone out of their way to do stuff that's very unique - and I believe stuff like this is a differentiator for selecting people. Especially at the top Unis. - The most popular EC were starting / leading clubs or similar. An applicant usually started one on their own due to a lack of such an organised body at their schools for interested people. This is out of my reach, too – where I studied till 10th grade in did have clubs, but they were taken down on account of pandemic and since then the Principal has been hesitant to restart them. No real activity was happening in these clubs, anyway. - The other niche thing I saw was publishing research papers or participating in essay competitions where you formally put forth a unique standpoint about something. I'm once again incapable to do so, as far as I could see: my understanding is that you're supposed to conduct experiments or at least partake in a STEM-based research body that does these experiments, and either unanimously or otherwise publish the findings and conclude certain things. I might be wrong, again, but this is what I've come to know – and I definitely have no opportunities where I live to even start doing anything; more specifically, a bigger problem is that I have no idea what to do at large for getting into stuff like this. - Raising money for a cause? Nope. Nada. Zero possibility. - Starting public awareness camps / hosting conferences related to my major / NGO? Also not possible.
Now I know there are many (a lot many, I presume) cases where someone didn't have stellar ECs on their profile but still got in, which would allow someone to hurl back at me with the following points, in my opinion:

The AOs do not see a huge brag-list of near-perfect grades and out-of-the-world ECs; they only see if what you've done over your high school period is helpful.

That's the most common point I see everywhere. While I do understand what it implies, I honestly don't think I ever had a chance to do so - my school, as it is now inherently deducible, is pretty dogsh*t at providing opportunities for stuff like that. On top of that, the place I live, and the contacts I have with people, have almost no knowledge of what it takes for someone to apply to abroad colleges. Therefore, the long and the short is, the number of notable activities I've undertaken during or before 9th grade is infinitesimally small.

You can try your best to have a very good CGPA in 11th and 12th and partake in international-level exams.

I certainly can ensure the first half of it; the second half? I don't even know where to start - I feel what I've gathered till now is just an innate cloud of tension and presumably erratic bits of information with no continuity.

You can move outside and study in an international board such as IB, A-levels, etc.; for the most part, these have a higher weightage in foreign colleges than ISC or CBSE.

Sadly not possible because those are waaaay outside my affordability.
I think that's a pretty feasible summary of the information I've congregated beginning from the past year up-till now. If there is any mistake or misconception that I might bear, please let me know! And going back to my initial question: Do I still have a chance to open up a whole new pathway to pursue studying abroad? Should I stick with being in India?