[I wrote this article about Macbeth for my college's newspaper, and I thought this subreddit might enjoy reading it!]
I have joked before that Shakespeare’s two favorite subjects–surpassing love, murder, madness, and crossdressing–are botany and birds. If you’ve been to New York City you might be aware of the “Shakespeare Garden” in Central Park, whose theoretical aim (though it proves nigh-impossible in practice) is to house specimens of all the plants which Shakespeare mentions in his plays. As it turns out, Bard quotes make for quite a diverse garden: there are roses which assuredly would smell as sweet by any other name; there are daffodils, that come before the swallow dares, and take the winds of March with beauty; there’s holly, heigh-ho; there’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance, there’s pansies, that’s for thoughts, there’s fennel for you, and columbines–no word on whether or not they could find any violets, though. I suppose there’s no objection to be made against those who complain that Shakespeare’s language is “flowery”; even as vicious a villain as Iago deigns to express his philosophy on life by way of botanical metaphor: “Our bodies are our gardens, to the which our wills are gardeners.” And, of course, the plot of A Midsummer Night’s Dream revolves around a magical flower which makes people fall in love.
I doubt anyone will object to my claiming of birds as Shakespeare’s other poetical fixation: I suspect that the majority of falconry knowledge which most non-falconers have today comes from reading footnotes in their copies of Shakespeare plays, explaining exactly what Richard II means by “How high a pitch his resolution soars,” or why Hamlet says “Hillo, ho, ho” to Marcellus. But while plants are so common in Shakespeare that I don’t know of one play which we might say is especially densely forested with references to them, there is one play that stands out as particularly full of birds in comparison with the rest of the Shakespearean canon. That play is Macbeth.
This is the sort of thing that one only notices after having read a play so many times that the actual events of the plot become akin to the meter of a poem–beats which must be hit, and which start to feel so natural that one hardly notices them–and one’s attention drifts away from the big, important speeches and toward the more utilitarian words and odd little moments that bridge them. I am not the first to point it out, but it is, all the same, a delightful quirk of the play, and could be a good way for Sophomores to throw their classmates for a loop in seminar [Note: Students at our college study Macbeth during their Sophomore year.]: why are there so many birds in Macbeth?
KING. Dismay’d not this/Our captains, Macbeth and Banquo? SERG. Yes,/As sparrows eagles… -Act I, Scene II
LADY. …The raven himself is hoarse/That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan… -Act I, Scene V
BAN. This guest of summer,/The temple-haunting martlet, does approve/By his loved mansionry, that the heaven’s breath/Smells wooingly here: no jutty, frieze/Buttress, nor coign of vantage, but this bird/Hath made his pendent bed and procreant cradle… -Act I, Scene VI
LADY. Hark! Peace! It was the owl that shriek’d, the fatal bellman… -Act II, Scene II
LADY. I heard the owl scream and the crickets cry. -Act II, Scene II
PORTER. …come in, tailor; here you may roast your goose… -Act II, Scene III
PORTER. ‘Faith, sir, we were carousing till the second cock… -Act II, Scene III
LENNOX. New hatch’d to the woeful time: the obscure bird/Clamour’d the livelong night… -Act II, Scene III
OLD MAN. …On Tuesday last,/A falcon, towering in her pride of place,/Was by a mousing owl hawk’d at and kill’d. -Act II, Scene IV
MACBETH. …Light thickens; and the crow/Makes wing to the rooky wood… -Act III, Scene II
MACBETH. If charnel-houses and our graves must send/Those that we bury back, our monuments/Shall be the maws of kites. -Act III, Scene IV
MACBETH. Augurs and understood relations have/By magot pies and choughs and rooks brought forth/The secret’st man of blood. -Act III, Scene IV
LADY MACDUFF. …the poor wren,/the most diminutive of birds, will fight,/Her young ones in her nest, against the owl. -Act IV, Scene II
LADY MACDUFF. How will you live? SON. As birds do, mother. LADY MACDUFF. What, with worms and flies? SON. With what I get, I mean; and so do they. LADY MACDUFF. Poor bird! Thou’ldst never fear the net nor lime,/The pitfall nor the gin? SON. Why should I, mother? Poor birds they are not set for. -Act IV, Scene II
FIRST MURDERER. What, you egg! -Act IV, Scene II
MACDUFF. …there cannot be/That vulture in you… -Act IV, Scene III
MACDUFF. …O hell-kite! All?/What, all my pretty chickens and their dam/At one fell swoop? -Act IV, Scene III
MACBETH. The devil damn thee black, thou cream-faced loon!/Where got’st thou that goose look? SERVANT. There is ten thousand– MACBETH. Geese, villain? -Act V, Scene III
Above I have listed every ornithological reference that I’ve found in the Scottish Play; as we peruse them, we certainly cannot conclude that every individual reference is of the same kind, or carries the same import. I will not pretend, for example, that, just because geese and ravens are both birds, the Porter’s invitation for the imagined English tailor to cook his goose in Hell merits as much attention as Lady Macbeth’s ominous declaration that “the raven himself is hoarse”. Nor do I think that any individual reference particularly demands explication; by itself, any one of these bird-invocations seems perfectly natural. Shakespeare’s talent is such that he can repeat a motif in such a way that on the macro level it is obvious yet on the micro level it hardly feels present. But that macro level is what interests me here: what impression is created, on the whole, by the presence of so many birds in this play? I have a theory, which, though it may seem far-fetched, I think merits at least some consideration, and which, at the very least, I have not seen stated elsewhere, and so may make a novel contribution to the conversation.
Macbeth is both Shakespeare’s most supernatural tragedy and his most Sophoclean; these two superlatives are inextricably related. The appellative Weird given to the opening scene’s three Sisters–derived from the Old English wyrd, meaning destiny, and famously given its more familiar connotation by Shakespeare himself in this very play–is, among the Bard’s works, unique to Macbeth; and just as that word appears nowhere else in Shakespeare, so is the concept it represents absent in all tragedies but this one. Though Hamlet may cry out against outrageous fortune, and though Othello may rhetoricize about how no man can control his fate, it is only in Macbeth that we truly feel that the events we see play out before us are fated, predestined, inevitable. [See Note 1.] The ghost in Hamlet commands his son to revenge his foul and most unnatural murder, but does not tell him it is certain that he will succeed; indeed, would not the drama be sapped of its intrigue if that level of certainty were present? Meanwhile, the supernatural interlopers in Macbeth offer the Scottish thane not a mission, but a prophecy: All hail, Macbeth! that shalt be king hereafter! From its mystical opening word–When, not If–the Scottish play makes us aware of the certainty of all that is to befall our tragic antihero. Macbeth is thus a different sort of tragedy than Shakespeare’s others, and it works by an inverted mechanism. While the tragedy of, for example, Desdemona’s death is that it may have been prevented, the tragedy of Macbeth’s destruction is that it represents the fulfilment of fate; and this is the very same mechanism by which Oedipus Rex operates, complete with its own “Weird” character in the form of the seer Tiresias. Though Calvin managed to accept that some men are destined for greatness and others for ruin, this idea is, to Shakespeare and Sophocles, nothing short of agonizing–the stuff of tragedy.
Now: what does all of this have to do with birds? Consider these words from Antigone, spoken by Tiresias to Creon:
You shall learn, when you hear the indications of my art! As I took my place on my ancient seat for observing birds, where I can mark every bird of omen I heard a strange sound among them, since they were screeching with dire, incoherent frenzy and I knew that they were tearing each other with bloody claws, for there was a whirring of wings that made it clear… (Lloyd-Jones translation)
Consider next these words from Oedipus Tyrannus, spoken defensively by Oedipus to Tiresias:
Why, come, tell me, how can you be a true prophet? Why when the versifying hound was here did not you speak some word that could release the citizens? Indeed, her riddle was not one for the first comer to explain! It required prophetic skill, and you were exposed as having no knowledge from the birds or from the gods. No, it was I that came, Oedipus who knew nothing, and put a stop to her; I hit the mark by native wit, not by what I learned from birds. (Lloyd-Jones translation)
The practice of divining the future from birds–be it from their behaviors, their cries, or their innards–was, to Sophocles and his contemporaries, not superstitious hokum, but a practical science at which one could be skilled or unskilled, and it bodes ill for Oedipus that he is so quick to disregard it in favor of his own native wit. [See Note 2] By Shakespeare’s day, the practice had long been relegated to the realm of outdated hocus-pocus, but the Bard still saw some truth in it; in Macbeth, there is a recurring sense that, when the world is sick with some great wrong, its first symptoms manifest in the behavior of birds. When the “fatal bellman” the owl shrieks in the night, Lady Macbeth takes it as a sign that her husband is about his bloody business. The day after the murder of Duncan, as Ross converses with an Old Man about the strange things they’ve seen the previous night, “unnatural/Even as the deed that’s done”, the killing of a falcon by a mousing-owl–an omen straight out of Sophocles–is mentioned before the madness and cannibalism of Duncan’s horses, even though the latter would surely be more immediately noticeable and ghastly than the former.
These are the most obvious examples of birds as ill omens in Macbeth; yet even the more innocuous invocations of birds throughout the rest of the play continually turn our thoughts back to the ancient Greek understanding of fate and prophecy, and thereby remind us that, however savagely he may fight at Dunsinane, Macbeth’s fate is as fixed as that of Oedipus. The birds have already foretold all.
Note 1: The closest thing there is to this kind of fatalness in another Shakespearean tragedy is the several superstitious occurrences in Julius Caesar–both the soothsayer’s message of “Beware the ides of March” and the bestial portents such as the lack of a heart in an offering and the whelping of a lioness in the streets. Still, I will insist that these omens do not convey a sense of fatedness to the audience as strongly as the Weird Sisters in Macbeth by virtue of their being told to Caesar himself, not to Brutus, the play’s true protagonist, and by the fact that Shakespeare elsewhere uses dialogue to throw some doubt upon the idea of predestination: "Men at some times are masters of their fates:/The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,/But in ourselves, that we are underlings." -I.ii
Note 2: The Liddell-Scott Greek Lexicon identifies at least two separate verbs referring to bird-based divination, both of which are present in the quoted passages: Tiresias uses ορνϊθοσκοπέομαι, observe birds, interpret their flight and cries, while Oedipus uses οιωνίζομαι, take omens from the flight and cries of birds. The latter term comes from οιωνος, a large bird, bird of prey, such as a vulture or eagle, and so distinguished from a common bird, while the former comes from ορνις, which more generally refers to a bird, including birds of prey and domestic fowls. Birds of both kinds are present in Macbeth; there are οιωναι, such as the “falcon, towering in her pride of place”, as well as ορνες, like the Porter’s goose and cock. I therefore see little value in interrogating the kinds of birds invoked by Shakespeare, the specific cultural associations and significance of the owl, the raven, or the wren; rather, if we reduce them down to their barest existence as birds, animals of the class Aves, and consider them in an ancient Greek light, then things become a bit clearer.

Why did the farmer visit the pharmacy? To speak with the farm-assist.
Hi and welcome to my post! Wanted to start off with a funny to me dad joke.
Nice to meet you, I'm Dylan! To put it simple, I am a single 22 year old man who has been pretty lonely in life and lacking in female connection and interaction. And part of what comes with that is the desire to be intimate with a person. I am very mature for my age and will always be respectful of your boundaries and feelings, especially with anything sexual. Lately all I have is myself when it comes to sexual desires, so I would like to have someone to keep company with in that regard too.
I'm just relaxing at work since there's nothing really going on and thinking about going home tonight and burning a woodwick candle. Perfect for when there's a storm outside. I love candles! 🕯️ Sometimes a campfire outside on a fall night or a crackling WoodWick candle is a relaxing constant among our busy and hectic world. It's nice to just disconnect, feel grounded and happy in your own little cozy space. Feeling calm and collected and at peace. Something that fewer people take the time to do these days.
I am seeking a woman around my age or older to build a close connection with that could possibly lead to a relationship and something intimate which includes the possibility of teasing/sharing pics etc. but only when we were comfortable. Figured I would be open in my Intentions as that's the best way to be.
You:
Kind, respectful, and easy going.
Comfortable with the idea of eventually sharing intimate things together.
Willing to eventually move off of Reddit.
Want something genuine and fun!
Are honest in your intentions and a good person to be around!
That's about it, we will get along great I know it.
I've been feeling a little bummed out lately. I always try and stay happy and see the best in things. But.. I've just been so alone. Most of my whole childhood and adult years have been spent feeling lonely. I grew up surrounded by cornfields which was peaceful but also has a lonely aspect to it. My family never really were close and never did anything as a family really. And part of it too is the fact that I never had any neighbors my age to interact with. But aside from that, my adult life has been very lonely. I'm just always by myself. I barely have any meaningful adult relationships or experiences, or even any friends.
I work a 3-11 job in building maintenance at my company world headquarters building which I love, but again it's very lonely. I work the off shift so the building is always empty. I don't get normal social interaction with people my age or a chance to build relationships. I only have 3 older men as co-workers and we are mostly in the basement away from any people on the floors from knowing our existence. I always walk the floors and see office people laughing and chatting with their coworkers and I just don't have that kind of experience. And just.. no one knows I exist really. Everyone probably assumes I have a lot of friends, but I'm struggling inside with being so alone and trying to meet people and get past the "hi how are you?" "I'm good thanks" stage. Most people don't seem to want to talk beyond that. And most women are already in relationships and thus it would seem weird to approach them in an office setting trying to get to know them deeper. But man those "hi how are yous" are the only real interactions I get during my day.. so thus I decided to come here lol. Rant over, sorry! I promise I'm not a downer. 😅
Now for some things about me!
As you can tell, I am very mature for my age and am polite and have good grammar which unfortunately not everyone my age does anymore lol. I am not active at all on social media/internet culture really and don't know much about all the slang the younger people these days use. I feel like I'm 50. 🤣
I am left handed which is pretty cool. I'm not much of a party person or a drinker, I much prefer a quiet night at home and maybe a beer or two on a weekend but that's about it. I am simple and stay out of drama and trouble and don't get much into politics or other things that cause drama with people. I much prefer a relaxing campfire and a night at home and to just let the world keep on turning haha. I consider myself pretty intelligent and mature, especially for my age which is why I'm open to older ladies.
Physically I'm 180 pounds, have brown hair, green eyes, and a typical build. There's a few pictures on my profile.
Some of my hobbies are:
• Photography
I have a Nikon D200 and D5500 that I love to shoot with. I love nature scenes, abstract, black and white/goth kinda photography, sunsets, etc. it's so fun to just let your mind explore. It's not about what camera you have, but those who are behind the camera! I'm gonna try and photograph the northern lights tonight!
• Cooking and baking
I loveeee to cook and bake! I enjoy making various meals but also love to just have a frozen pizza once in awhile or something like that. I recently made homemade chili which turned out great. I love to bake, especially in the fall! I love pies, cakes, pastries, cookies, etc. I restored a vintage KitchenAid mixer that needed tbe gearbox rebuilt. Eventually I would love to practice home canning my own food.
• Music
Oh my gosh, I like so much!! Alternative rock, punk, post punk, electronic, synth pop, psychedelic rock, hard rock, etc. I am very non judgemental and open when it comes to music. My three current favorite bands are Type O Negative, Joy Division, and the Cure.
• Nature walks and camping
I really enjoy camping, making fires, and relaxing by a campfire. I love to take walks outside and just enjoy the beauty and simplicity of nature. It's wonderful, especially in a world so focused on everything digital.
• Repairing things
I'm a maintenance guy and one of my hobbies is electronics repair so I am good with my hands and just all around good at troubleshooting and fixing all sorts of things around the house. Last week I helped my elderly neighbor get his tractor started, it needed a new component in the starting circuit. So I'm pretty handy which... Comes in handy! 😂
• Autumn 🍁
This isn't a hobby per say, but man do I love the fall!!! It's my absolute favorite time of the year. Oh my gosh. The beautiful colors, crisp cool air, misty and foggy days, rain, lack of bugs, being cuddled up with a candle or by the fire drinking a tea, etc. I love it! There's only two seasons for me. Fall, and waiting for fall! Haha.
• Scented Candles and incense
Going along with my love for fall, I absolutely love candles! I have like 30 something lol. 😂 Currently my favorite are WoodWick, which are owned by Yankee candle. They have such a soothing crackle and the scents are great! I also love to burn incense from time to time as well. I have cottagecore hippie vibes.
• Old houses and architecture
I love old houses! Especially 1900s and Victorian era homes. Old homes have so much character to them and are just so beautiful from a time when people took pride in their craft. I strongly dislike the modern cookie cutter cheap construction of homes today. I would love to live in an old home one day. I also love their architecture and uniqueness, as well as architecture of old cathedrals and other buildings.
• Relaxing
Basic I know, but sometimes on the weekend I just love to get cozy in bed and relax and put on a YouTube video or an album! 😊
That's about it for me, I'm a pretty laid back and simple person. My ideal person is someone who is respectful and honest! I am very straightforward and open minded and would hope that you are as well.
If I seem interesting to you at all I would love to hear from you!
Thank you so much for reading.

Alright Reddit fam, I need some serious help navigating this family drama that's messier than a Thanksgiving casserole fight. Here's the deal:
My grandma, bless her heart, just decided to "retire" from being the head chef at her famous pie shop. Now, the whole family expected me (her only grandchild) to take over the business. The problem? I'm a talented musician, just landed a killer gig touring with a folk band! Don't get me wrong, I love my grandma and the shop (those blueberry pies are legendary!), but music is my dream.
Here's the kicker: my parents, who never supported my music career, are suddenly all gung-ho about me taking over the pie shop. They're guilt-tripping me like a master chef with a pressure cooker, saying things like "This is your legacy!" and "The family business can't crumble on your watch!" Ugh, enough with the pie puns already!
So, Reddit, what do I do? Follow my musical dreams or fulfill this supposed family legacy? Is there a way to have my pie and eat it too (pun fully intended)? Any advice from fellow Redditors who've faced similar family business dilemmas?

Hi all, -- I've decided to invest $100k in VOO, and want your advice on if this should be done via Sharesies or InvestNow. [I'm not looking at other platforms at the moment]
I've read this MoneyHub article, and checked the fees on both platforms. If I've understood it all correctly, here is a summary:

On Sharesies, it says management fees are 0% (that can't be right can it?) and transaction fees are capped at USD$5. The investment will be on NYSE, so will be subject to FIF rules, which sounds like a lot of extra headache at tax time, and up to 39% tax rate.
On InvestNow, it's a NZ listed PIE, so very simple at tax time, and is taxed at 28%. However management fees are 0.03% per year (NZD$30 in my case), and 0.5% transaction fees (so for me it will be NZD$500 in, NZD$500 out).

Have I missed anything? Any other pro's and con's to be aware of? Seems like the best plan here would be anyone under the FIF limit should go with Sharesies, and anyone over the FIF limit should go with InvestNow?

This is a really strange one. Also feeling super fucking hopeless. This is like half "help me!" and half vent. I'm a lonely person. I've been alone my whole life save for a couple friends I would make here and there. Some online, some offline. Last year I started trying to be more "active" in my friends' lives after coming out as transfem and moving back to my hometown. I had about six friends in total, a guy I've known since middle school and talked to on-and-off, two guys who were friends with me in high school and also knew that guy, an online friend from the Netherlands who I used to talk to literally every day, and an online friend from Chicago that I have met many times in person, known him for like ten years now.
Last September I made a Discord server and introduced all my friends to each other. It was really great at first, we all played video games together, we spent time on the call all the time, it was nice. Then after New Years one of the guys I knew from high school started being really, really mean to me. Out of like nowhere, just mean, dismissive, hateful. I try and be very kind, unassuming, maybe a little passive. I am not an aggressive person IRL at all, I am outgoing and I am not ever, EVER mean to anyone. Following this guy's lead everyone just started piling onto me, saying that like, I am useless, or I am stupid, or I have "bad takes." Illinoisian friend suggested they make a server without me, which they did. Then everyone started disengaging from me, leaving me on read, etcetera. Again, I have not been hostile or aggressive towards any of these people, in fact, I actively try and appease them 100% of the time because I am afraid of abandonment, so this is like the worst thing ever!
Anyway, found out from my middle-school-friend (who is the only one who seems to actively want to talk to me still) that they sit in this group chat all day and play fucking World of Warcraft and talk shit about me from time to time, I guess. I tried to be proactive and went to breakfast with Mr. Meanie Pie and talked to him a bit one-on-one and asked him, hey, why is everyone being so mean, can you please be a little nicer to me? I don't really know what I've done wrong, and he said some half-assed stuff about something mean I said once on Twitter like over a month ago(had already stopped going on Twitter because it's shitty for my mental health and does indeed empower me to say sarcastic things occasionally) and said that he would "talk to me however he wants" because I "deserve it" and that he's not going to put effort into maintaining our relationship because I am a shitty person. This man is like 6ft tall, was in the military, big dude. I am literally a 5'7" skinny autistic trans girl. So even just starting that conversation was fucking nerve-wracking. What does someone like that get out of bullying a little person like me? Jesus Christ.
I thought this sort of behavior was reserved for like, high school girls. I cannot understand it for the life of me. I introduced all my friends to each other and then they KICKED ME OUT!! How the fuck does that even work!? Has this happened to anyone else?! What the hell do I do now? It's upended my entire social life, which I didn't have much of to begin with! No idea what to do now, I don't have any other non-familial connections besides them. This has happened twice before to me when I was a teenager, but not so far as an adult. If the problem is me, I need to know how to fix it.

Why did the farmer visit the pharmacy? To speak with the farm-assist.
Hi and welcome to my post! Wanted to start off with a funny to me dad joke.
Nice to meet you, I'm Dylan! To put it simple, I am a single 22 year old man who has been pretty lonely in life and lacking in female connection and interaction. And part of what comes with that is the desire to be intimate with a person. I am very mature for my age and will always be respectful of your boundaries and feelings, especially with anything sexual. Lately all I have is myself when it comes to sexual desires, so I would like to have someone to keep company with in that regard too.
I'm just relaxing at work since there's nothing really going on and thinking about going home tonight and burning a woodwick candle. Perfect for when there's a storm outside. I love candles! 🕯️ Sometimes a campfire outside on a fall night or a crackling WoodWick candle is a relaxing constant among our busy and hectic world. It's nice to just disconnect, feel grounded and happy in your own little cozy space. Feeling calm and collected and at peace. Something that fewer people take the time to do these days.
I am seeking a woman around my age or older to build a close connection with that could possibly lead to a relationship and something intimate which includes the possibility of teasing/sharing pics etc. but only when we were comfortable. Figured I would be open in my Intentions as that's the best way to be.
You:
Kind, respectful, and easy going.
Comfortable with the idea of eventually sharing intimate things together.
Willing to eventually move off of Reddit.
Want something genuine and fun!
Are honest in your intentions and a good person to be around!
That's about it, we will get along great I know it.
I've been feeling a little bummed out lately. I always try and stay happy and see the best in things. But.. I've just been so alone. Most of my whole childhood and adult years have been spent feeling lonely. I grew up surrounded by cornfields which was peaceful but also has a lonely aspect to it. My family never really were close and never did anything as a family really. And part of it too is the fact that I never had any neighbors my age to interact with. But aside from that, my adult life has been very lonely. I'm just always by myself. I barely have any meaningful adult relationships or experiences, or even any friends.
I work a 3-11 job in building maintenance at my company world headquarters building which I love, but again it's very lonely. I work the off shift so the building is always empty. I don't get normal social interaction with people my age or a chance to build relationships. I only have 3 older men as co-workers and we are mostly in the basement away from any people on the floors from knowing our existence. I always walk the floors and see office people laughing and chatting with their coworkers and I just don't have that kind of experience. And just.. no one knows I exist really. Everyone probably assumes I have a lot of friends, but I'm struggling inside with being so alone and trying to meet people and get past the "hi how are you?" "I'm good thanks" stage. Most people don't seem to want to talk beyond that. And most women are already in relationships and thus it would seem weird to approach them in an office setting trying to get to know them deeper. But man those "hi how are yous" are the only real interactions I get during my day.. so thus I decided to come here lol. Rant over, sorry! I promise I'm not a downer. 😅
Now for some things about me!
As you can tell, I am very mature for my age and am polite and have good grammar which unfortunately not everyone my age does anymore lol. I am not active at all on social media/internet culture really and don't know much about all the slang the younger people these days use. I feel like I'm 50. 🤣
I am left handed which is pretty cool. I'm not much of a party person or a drinker, I much prefer a quiet night at home and maybe a beer or two on a weekend but that's about it. I am simple and stay out of drama and trouble and don't get much into politics or other things that cause drama with people. I much prefer a relaxing campfire and a night at home and to just let the world keep on turning haha. I consider myself pretty intelligent and mature, especially for my age which is why I'm open to older ladies.
Physically I'm 180 pounds, have brown hair, green eyes, and a typical build. There's a few pictures on my profile.
Some of my hobbies are:
• Photography
I have a Nikon D200 and D5500 that I love to shoot with. I love nature scenes, abstract, black and white/goth kinda photography, sunsets, etc. it's so fun to just let your mind explore. It's not about what camera you have, but those who are behind the camera! I'm gonna try and photograph the northern lights tonight!
• Cooking and baking
I loveeee to cook and bake! I enjoy making various meals but also love to just have a frozen pizza once in awhile or something like that. I recently made homemade chili which turned out great. I love to bake, especially in the fall! I love pies, cakes, pastries, cookies, etc. I restored a vintage KitchenAid mixer that needed tbe gearbox rebuilt. Eventually I would love to practice home canning my own food.
• Music
Oh my gosh, I like so much!! Alternative rock, punk, post punk, electronic, synth pop, psychedelic rock, hard rock, etc. I am very non judgemental and open when it comes to music. My three current favorite bands are Type O Negative, Joy Division, and the Cure.
• Nature walks and camping
I really enjoy camping, making fires, and relaxing by a campfire. I love to take walks outside and just enjoy the beauty and simplicity of nature. It's wonderful, especially in a world so focused on everything digital.
• Repairing things
I'm a maintenance guy and one of my hobbies is electronics repair so I am good with my hands and just all around good at troubleshooting and fixing all sorts of things around the house. Last week I helped my elderly neighbor get his tractor started, it needed a new component in the starting circuit. So I'm pretty handy which... Comes in handy! 😂
• Autumn 🍁
This isn't a hobby per say, but man do I love the fall!!! It's my absolute favorite time of the year. Oh my gosh. The beautiful colors, crisp cool air, misty and foggy days, rain, lack of bugs, being cuddled up with a candle or by the fire drinking a tea, etc. I love it! There's only two seasons for me. Fall, and waiting for fall! Haha.
• Scented Candles and incense
Going along with my love for fall, I absolutely love candles! I have like 30 something lol. 😂 Currently my favorite are WoodWick, which are owned by Yankee candle. They have such a soothing crackle and the scents are great! I also love to burn incense from time to time as well. I have cottagecore hippie vibes.
• Old houses and architecture
I love old houses! Especially 1900s and Victorian era homes. Old homes have so much character to them and are just so beautiful from a time when people took pride in their craft. I strongly dislike the modern cookie cutter cheap construction of homes today. I would love to live in an old home one day. I also love their architecture and uniqueness, as well as architecture of old cathedrals and other buildings.
• Relaxing
Basic I know, but sometimes on the weekend I just love to get cozy in bed and relax and put on a YouTube video or an album! 😊
That's about it for me, I'm a pretty laid back and simple person. My ideal person is someone who is respectful and honest! I am very straightforward and open minded and would hope that you are as well.
If I seem interesting to you at all I would love to hear from you!
Thank you so much for reading.

N.B.: I'm mainly looking for the games listed in the title and at the bottom of the thread. Feel free to post other offers, but if I haven't responded to your comment(s) by my next posting, I likely wasn't able to find a trade that interested me.

For sale (for Steam Gift Cards or gifted Steam Wallet balance):

Dark Souls™: Prepare To Die™ Edition (removed from Steam Store; ~~$350~~ $400 or best offer)
Fall Guys (removed from Steam Store)
Fall Guys - Dragon Hugger Pack (removed from Steam Store)
Fall Guys - Icy Adventure Pack (removed from Steam Store)
~~Marvel's Avengers - The Definitive Edition (removed from Steam Store)~~
~~Spec Ops: The Line (removed from Steam Store)~~

Humble Hunie Sakura Bundle (can also trade for a full "charity" bundle (Australia Fire Relief Bundle or similar))
Humble Sekai Project Bundle (can also trade for a full "charity" bundle (Stand with Ukraine Bundle or similar))

For trade:
*signifies that a game is tentatively up for trade, assuming I buy the bundle

A Short Hike(?)
A Story Beside(?)
Aces & Adventures(?)
Arcade Spirits(?)
Battlestar Galactica Deadlock(?)
Beyond Blue(?)
Cat Quest(?)
Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3?!(?)
EARTHLOCK(?)
Harmony's Odyssey(?)
Homeworld Remastered Collection(?)
Lacuna – A Sci-Fi Noir Adventure(?)
Minecraft: Java Edition - MCC Island Jingle Jam Rewards Pack(?)
Monster Prom(?)
Sifu Deluxe Cosmetic Pack(?)
Spirit of the Island(?)
SUPERHOT(?)
Tinytopia(?)
Toodee and Topdee(?)
Train Valley 2(?)
Turbo Golf Racing(?)
Valthirian Arc: Hero School Story(?)
Xenonauts(?)

Angry Birds VR: Isle of Pigs

Toodee and Topdee

WWE 2K23

Patch Quest

Trover Saves the Universe

A Short Hike

Celeste

Behind the Frame: The Finest Scenery

Into the Radius VR

The Blackout Club

The Last Campfire

Sakura Swim Club

The Long Dark: Survival Edition

Stranded Sails - Explorers of the Cursed Islands

Styx: Shards of Darkness

Arizona Sunshine

Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl

Crown Trick

In Sound Mind

EVERSPACE™

The LEGO® NINJAGO® Movie Video Game

STAR WARS™: Squadrons (Origin key)(?)

Orcs Must Die! 2 - Complete Pack

Bartlow's Dread Machine

Blaston

White Day: A Labyrinth Named School

The Walking Dead

Total Tank Simulator

Archangel: Hellfire - Fully Loaded

XCOM® 2

Among the Sleep - Enhanced Edition

A Kiss For the Petals - Remembering How We Met

The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing: Final Cut

The Elder Scrolls: Legends: 2 Card Packs (Skyrim) 1 Event Ticket 100 Gold 100 Souls
ESO Vanity Pet: Bristlegut Piglet and 15 Days of ESO Plus

Lionessy Story
My Personal Angel
Natural - Beyond Nature -
Postmen Of Horizon (removed from Steam Store)

The Reject Demon: Toko Chapter 0 — Prelude

Duck Game
SCP: Secret Files
WWE 2K23
The Jackbox Party Pack
Outward (redeems as the base game only, not the linked Definitive Edition)
Outward - The Soroboreans
Outward Soundtrack
Blade Assault
Founders' Fortune
Hokko Life
Monster Crown
Othercide
Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous - Enhanced Edition
ScourgeBringer
Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey
HOT WHEELS UNLEASHED™
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
Sonic CD (removed from Steam Store)
LEGO® Harry Potter: Years 1-4
LEGO® Harry Potter: Years 5-7
STRIDER™ / ストライダー飛竜®
Bionic Commando
Full Metal Furies
Ultra Street Fighter® IV
Starbound
Mafia III: Sign of the Times
BioShock 2
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition
Sherlock Holmes: The Devil's Daughter
The Mean Greens - Plastic Warfare
Crusaders of the Lost Idols Legendary Starter Pack
Project CARS (removed from Steam Store)

WANT:

5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel
Astebreed: Definitive Edition
Avernum: Escape from the Pit
BlazBlue: Calamity Trigger
CrossCode
Dead Rising 4
Dungreed
Mega Man X Legacy Collection 2
Mega Man Zero/ZX Legacy Collection
Mortal Kombat Komplete Edition
Myst (2021)
NBA 2K23
NECROPOLIS: BRUTAL EDITION
Omensight: Definitive Edition
OPUS: Echo of Starsong - Full Bloom Edition
OPUS: Rocket of Whispers
OPUS: The Day We Found Earth
Power Rangers: Battle for the Grid
RAGE
Resident Evil Village
The Jackbox Party Pack 5
The Jackbox Party Pack 6
The Jackbox Party Pack 7
Wonder Boy: The Dragon's Trap
Zombie Army 4: Dead War

any extra copies of WWE 2K23

IGS Rep Page: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/ti26nz/mizznos_igs_rep_page/

Why did the farmer visit the pharmacy? To speak with the farm-assist.
Hi and welcome to my post! Wanted to start off with a funny to me dad joke.
Nice to meet you, I'm Dylan! To put it simple, I am a single 22 year old man who has been pretty lonely in life and lacking in female connection and interaction. And part of what comes with that is the desire to be intimate with a person. I am very mature for my age and will always be respectful of your boundaries and feelings, especially with anything sexual. Lately all I have is myself when it comes to sexual desires, so I would like to have someone to keep company with in that regard too.
I'm just relaxing at work since there's nothing really going on and thinking about going home tonight and burning a woodwick candle. Perfect for when there's a storm outside. I love candles! 🕯️ Sometimes a campfire outside on a fall night or a crackling WoodWick candle is a relaxing constant among our busy and hectic world. It's nice to just disconnect, feel grounded and happy in your own little cozy space. Feeling calm and collected and at peace. Something that fewer people take the time to do these days.
I am seeking a woman around my age or older to build a close connection with that could possibly lead to a relationship and something intimate which includes the possibility of teasing/sharing pics etc. but only when we were comfortable. Figured I would be open in my Intentions as that's the best way to be.
You:
Kind, respectful, and easy going.
Comfortable with the idea of eventually sharing intimate things together.
Willing to eventually move off of Reddit.
Want something genuine and fun!
Are honest in your intentions and a good person to be around!
That's about it, we will get along great I know it.
I've been feeling a little bummed out lately. I always try and stay happy and see the best in things. But.. I've just been so alone. Most of my whole childhood and adult years have been spent feeling lonely. I grew up surrounded by cornfields which was peaceful but also has a lonely aspect to it. My family never really were close and never did anything as a family really. And part of it too is the fact that I never had any neighbors my age to interact with. But aside from that, my adult life has been very lonely. I'm just always by myself. I barely have any meaningful adult relationships or experiences, or even any friends.
I work a 3-11 job in building maintenance at my company world headquarters building which I love, but again it's very lonely. I work the off shift so the building is always empty. I don't get normal social interaction with people my age or a chance to build relationships. I only have 3 older men as co-workers and we are mostly in the basement away from any people on the floors from knowing our existence. I always walk the floors and see office people laughing and chatting with their coworkers and I just don't have that kind of experience. And just.. no one knows I exist really. Everyone probably assumes I have a lot of friends, but I'm struggling inside with being so alone and trying to meet people and get past the "hi how are you?" "I'm good thanks" stage. Most people don't seem to want to talk beyond that. And most women are already in relationships and thus it would seem weird to approach them in an office setting trying to get to know them deeper. But man those "hi how are yous" are the only real interactions I get during my day.. so thus I decided to come here lol. Rant over, sorry! I promise I'm not a downer. 😅
Now for some things about me!
As you can tell, I am very mature for my age and am polite and have good grammar which unfortunately not everyone my age does anymore lol. I am not active at all on social media/internet culture really and don't know much about all the slang the younger people these days use. I feel like I'm 50. 🤣
I am left handed which is pretty cool. I'm not much of a party person or a drinker, I much prefer a quiet night at home and maybe a beer or two on a weekend but that's about it. I am simple and stay out of drama and trouble and don't get much into politics or other things that cause drama with people. I much prefer a relaxing campfire and a night at home and to just let the world keep on turning haha. I consider myself pretty intelligent and mature, especially for my age which is why I'm open to older ladies.
Physically I'm 180 pounds, have brown hair, green eyes, and a typical build. There's a few pictures on my profile.
Some of my hobbies are:
• Photography
I have a Nikon D200 and D5500 that I love to shoot with. I love nature scenes, abstract, black and white/goth kinda photography, sunsets, etc. it's so fun to just let your mind explore. It's not about what camera you have, but those who are behind the camera! I'm gonna try and photograph the northern lights tonight!
• Cooking and baking
I loveeee to cook and bake! I enjoy making various meals but also love to just have a frozen pizza once in awhile or something like that. I recently made homemade chili which turned out great. I love to bake, especially in the fall! I love pies, cakes, pastries, cookies, etc. I restored a vintage KitchenAid mixer that needed tbe gearbox rebuilt. Eventually I would love to practice home canning my own food.
• Music
Oh my gosh, I like so much!! Alternative rock, punk, post punk, electronic, synth pop, psychedelic rock, hard rock, etc. I am very non judgemental and open when it comes to music. My three current favorite bands are Type O Negative, Joy Division, and the Cure.
• Nature walks and camping
I really enjoy camping, making fires, and relaxing by a campfire. I love to take walks outside and just enjoy the beauty and simplicity of nature. It's wonderful, especially in a world so focused on everything digital.
• Repairing things
I'm a maintenance guy and one of my hobbies is electronics repair so I am good with my hands and just all around good at troubleshooting and fixing all sorts of things around the house. Last week I helped my elderly neighbor get his tractor started, it needed a new component in the starting circuit. So I'm pretty handy which... Comes in handy! 😂
• Autumn 🍁
This isn't a hobby per say, but man do I love the fall!!! It's my absolute favorite time of the year. Oh my gosh. The beautiful colors, crisp cool air, misty and foggy days, rain, lack of bugs, being cuddled up with a candle or by the fire drinking a tea, etc. I love it! There's only two seasons for me. Fall, and waiting for fall! Haha.
• Scented Candles and incense
Going along with my love for fall, I absolutely love candles! I have like 30 something lol. 😂 Currently my favorite are WoodWick, which are owned by Yankee candle. They have such a soothing crackle and the scents are great! I also love to burn incense from time to time as well. I have cottagecore hippie vibes.
• Old houses and architecture
I love old houses! Especially 1900s and Victorian era homes. Old homes have so much character to them and are just so beautiful from a time when people took pride in their craft. I strongly dislike the modern cookie cutter cheap construction of homes today. I would love to live in an old home one day. I also love their architecture and uniqueness, as well as architecture of old cathedrals and other buildings.
• Relaxing
Basic I know, but sometimes on the weekend I just love to get cozy in bed and relax and put on a YouTube video or an album! 😊
That's about it for me, I'm a pretty laid back and simple person. My ideal person is someone who is respectful and honest! I am very straightforward and open minded and would hope that you are as well.
If I seem interesting to you at all I would love to hear from you!
Thank you so much for reading.

Hey, im in a 12 day streaks of nofap after i discovered that i have PIED. Things are going great and i already see improvement. One thing make me question tho. If during the day i can manage my horniness, when its time to go to bed and when im laying, i suddenly become very very horny. As i used to masturbate almost exclusively from my bed before bed, i understand that, being on my bed trigger my brain to masturbate to porn. So, in order to weaken the the neural pathway that ive been created through pmo, chat gpt (yes i asked chat gpt about my pied lol) suggest that i should totally avoid screen in my bed, saying :
"Using screens, especially those associated with past behaviors like watching pornography, can potentially hinder the rewiring process in your brain. Here's why:

Triggers: Even if you're not watching pornography, being on a screen in bed can still activate neural pathways associated with past habits.

etc ...
But here is the thing, I work all day long and the evening i train boxing for 2h, when i come back home its almost midnight and i NEED my youtube video to get to sleep ahah (bad habit i know). During the day, i almost never use screen, my screen time is probably about 10 minutes per day, so its really hard for me to give up that 30-45 min of youtube video to fall asleep with. And im not talking about doomscrolling on shorts, i like to watch video about science, boxing match, movies review etc...
so, do you really think this will slow down my progress of rewiring ? I really want to get rid of pied as fast as possible so i could possibly switch to reading books instead if screen cause issue
ty and excuse my approximate english

Hey, im in a 12 day streaks of nofap after i discovered that i have PIED. Things are going great and i already see improvement. One thing make me question tho. If during the day i can manage my horniness, when its time to go to bed and when im laying, i suddenly become very very horny. As i used to masturbate almost exclusively from my bed before bed, i understand that, being on my bed trigger my brain to masturbate to porn. So, in order to weaken the the neural pathway that ive been created through pmo, chat gpt (yes i asked chat gpt about my pied lol) suggest that i should totally avoid screen in my bed, saying :
"Using screens, especially those associated with past behaviors like watching pornography, can potentially hinder the rewiring process in your brain. Here's why:

Triggers: Even if you're not watching pornography, being on a screen in bed can still activate neural pathways associated with past habits.

etc ...
But here is the thing, I work all day long and the evening i train boxing for 2h, when i come back home its almost midnight and i NEED my youtube video to get to sleep ahah (bad habit i know). During the day, i almost never use screen, my screen time is probably about 10 minutes per day, so its really hard for me to give up that 30-45 min of youtube video to fall asleep with. And im not talking about doomscrolling on shorts, i like to watch video about science, boxing match, movies review etc...
so, do you really think this will slow down my progress of rewiring ? I really want to get rid of pied as fast as possible so i could possibly switch to reading books instead if screen cause issue
ty and excuse my approximate english

Welcome to the raspberry_pi Helpdesk and Frequently Asked Questions!

Link to last week's thread
Having a hard time searching for answers to your Raspberry Pi questions? Let the raspberry_pi community members search for answers for you!^† Looking for help getting started with a project? Have a question that you need answered? Was it not answered last week? Did not get a satisfying answer? A question that you've only done basic research for? Maybe something you think everyone but you knows? Ask your question in the comments on this page, operators are standing by!
This helpdesk and idea thread is here so that the front page won't be filled with these same questions day in and day out:

Q: What's a Raspberry Pi? What can I do with it? How powerful is it? A: Check out this great overview
Q: Does anyone have any ideas for what I can do with my Pi? A: Sure, look right here!^‡
Q: My Pi is behaving strangely/crashing/freezing, giving low voltage warnings, ethernet/wifi stops working, USB devices don't behave correctly, what do I do? A: 99.999% of the time it's either a bad SD card or power problems. Use a USB power meter or measure the 5V on the GPIO pins with a multimeter while the Pi is busy (such as playing h265/x265 video) and/or get a new SD card 1 2 3. If the voltage is less than 5V your power supply and/or cabling is not adequate. When your Pi is doing lots of work it will draw more power. Even if your power supply claims to provide sufficient amperage, it may be mislabeled or the cable you're using to connect the power supply to the Pi may have too much resistance. You can use a USB load tester to test your power supply and cable. Some power supplies require negotiation to provide more than 500mA, which the Pi does not do. If you're plugging in USB devices try using a powered USB hub with its own power supply and plug your devices into the hub and plug the hub into the Pi.
Q: I'm having a hard time finding a place to purchase a Raspberry Pi for an affordable price. Where's the secret place to buy one without paying more than MSRP? A: https://rpilocator.com/
Q: I just did a fresh install with the latest Raspberry Pi OS and I keep getting errors when trying to ssh in, what could be wrong? A: There are only 4 things that could be the problem:
1. The ssh daemon isn't running
2. You're trying to ssh to the wrong host
3. You're specifying the wrong username
4. You're typing in the wrong password
Q: I'm trying to install packages with pip but I keep getting error: externally-managed-environment A: This is not a problem unique to the Raspberry Pi. The best practice is to use a Python venv, however if you're sure you know what you're doing there are two alternatives documented in this stack overflow answer:
- --break-system-packages
- sudo rm a specific file as detailed in the stack overflow answer
Q: The only way to troubleshoot my problem is using a multimeter but I don't have one. What can I do? A: Get a basic multimeter, they are not expensive.
Q: My Pi won't boot, how do I fix it? A: Step by step guide for boot problems
Q: I want to watch Netflix/Hulu/Amazon/Vudu/Disney+ on a Pi but the tutorial I followed didn't work, does someone have a working tutorial? A: Use a Fire Stick/AppleTV/Roku. Pi tutorials used tricks that no longer work or are fake click bait.
Q: What model of Raspberry Pi do I need so I can watch YouTube in a browser? A: No model of Raspberry Pi is capable of watching YouTube smoothly through a web browser, you need to use VLC.
Q: I want to know how to do a thing, not have a blog/tutorial/video/teachebook explain how to do a thing. Can someone explain to me how to do that thing? A: Uh... What?
Q: Is it possible to use a single Raspberry Pi to do multiple things? Can a Raspberry Pi run Pi-hole and something else at the same time? A: YES. Pi-hole uses almost no resources. You can run Pi-hole at the same time on a Pi running Minecraft which is one of the biggest resource hogs. The Pi is capable of multitasking and can run more than one program and service at the same time. (Also known as "workload consolidation" by Intel people.) You're not going to damage your Pi by running too many things at once, so try running all your programs before worrying about needing more processing power or multiple Pis.
Q: Why is transferring things to from disks/SSDs/LAN/internet so slow? A: If you have a Pi 4 or 5 with SSD, please check this post on the Pi forums. Otherwise it's a networking problem and/or disk & filesystem problem, please go to HomeNetworking or LinuxQuestions.
Q: I only have one outlet and I need to plug in several devices, what do I do? A: They make things called power strips aka multi-tap extensions.
Q: The red and green LEDs are on/off/blinking or the screen is just black or blank or saying no signal, what do I do? A: Start here
Q: I'm trying to run x86 software on my Raspberry Pi but it doesn't work, how do I fix it? A: Get an x86 computer. A Raspberry Pi is ARM based, not x86.
Q: How can I run a script at boot/cron or why isn't the script I'm trying to run at boot/cron working? A: Try one of these numerous solutions
Q: Can I use this screen that came from ____ ? A: No
Q: I run my Pi headless and there's a problem with my Pi and the best way to diagnose it or fix it is to plug in a monitor & keyboard, what do I do? A: Plug in a monitor & keyboard.
Q: My Pi seems to be causing interference preventing the WiFi/Bluetooth from working A. Using USB 3 cables that are not properly shielded can cause interference and the Pi 4 can also cause interference when HDMI is used at high resolutions.
Q: I'm trying to use the built-in composite video output that is available on the Pi 2/3/4 headphone jack, do I need a special cable? A. Make sure your cable is wired correctly and you are using the correct RCA plug. Composite video cables for mp3 players will not work, the common ground goes to the wrong pin. Camcorder cables will often work, but red and yellow will be swapped on the Raspberry Pi.
Q: I'm running my Pi with no monitor connected, how can I use VNC? A: First, do you really need a remote GUI? Try using ssh instead. If you're sure you want to access the GUI remotely then ssh in, type vncserver -depth 24 -geometry 1920x1080 and see what port it prints such as :1, :2, etc. Now connect your client to that.
Q: I want to do something that has been well documented and there are numerous tutorials showing how to do it on Linux. How can I do it on a Raspberry Pi? A: A Raspberry Pi is a full computer running Linux and doesn't use special stripped down embedded microcontroller versions of standard Linux software. Follow one of the tutorials for doing it on Linux. Also see question #1.
Q: I want to do something that has been well documented and there are numerous tutorials showing how to do it with an Arduino. How can I do it on a Raspberry Pi Pico? A: Follow one of the tutorials for doing it on Arduino, a Pico can be used with the Arduino IDE.
Q: I'm trying to do something with Bluetooth and it's not working, how do I fix it? A: It's well established that Bluetooth and Linux don't get along, this problem is not unique to the Raspberry Pi.

Before posting your question think about if it's really about the Raspberry Pi or not. If you were using a Raspberry Pi to display recipes, do you really think raspberry_pi is the place to ask for cooking help? There may be better places to ask your question, such as:

Asking in a forum more specific to your question will likely get better answers!
† See the /raspberry_pi rules. While /raspberry_pi should not be considered your personal search engine, some exceptions will be made in this help thread. ‡ If the link doesn't work it's because you're using a broken buggy mobile client. Please contact the developer of your mobile client and let them know they should fix their bug. In the meantime use a web browser in desktop mode instead.

Happy belated Mother's Day! This post is spurred on by a recent debate with my ward that is (of course) going more on side gossip than any real talking. I, a PIMO senior on the precipice of leaving for college (freedom!!) am starting to wonder if this debate goes a bit beyond what meets the eye.
So, in my ward for Mother's Day it's tradition to celebrate the mothers with something. My dad (former bishopric member, now Elder's Quorum President) has often made it known to my mom and I that the women in our ward expect something as good or better than last year's Mother's Day. There are specific women who look for these things, and the other year---when they had been given flowers---they complained about it. Even the Relief Society President wanted to do nothing for this year's Mother's Day, saying the women were rather spoiled (she is actually a very kind woman, so take her comment into account). My dad did get the women some Costco pies, don't worry, and I haven't heard about any complaints (so far).
I formed the opinion right away that these women WERE being a bit ungrateful. The ward spends a lot of money doing the whole one-up each year, which we are trying to stop, starting with the significantly cheaper pies. And honestly it shouldn't be on the ward to spoil the mothers at all---that's the family's responsibility if the mother wants that. Frankly, to complain about a gift is spoiled behavior, considering the ward doesn't HAVE to do anything at all.
But, this made me think about WHY they felt they were entitled to all this. In a church that so prioritizes women as caretakers and mothers, this is their one day to be actually appreciated for what is so normalized. Some of these women devoted their bodies, minds, careers, and sometimes their whole lives to being a mother because that's the expectation. An expectation that also emphasizes doing it again... and again... and again. The world can't replenish itself after all! Some women with infertility face so much self hatred and pain because women in the church are made to do only one thing: make babies, and if you can't do that how worthy do you feel? Not only that, but primarily (and pretty much only) women are in charge of children. Women are only given power over children and other women, and when the men take just ONE day to say, "Hey, thank you. We appreciate you" it must feel so relieving.
So, now I'm considerably torn. Are these women entitled and spoiled for wanting something spectacular every year and complaining if it's not? Or are they victims of a society that gives them only one day of celebration?

40 hours online, 78 deliveries = $73 in tips for the week in NY and burbs. You cheap mofo's. If you added up the real estate value of the homes delivered to, it would surpass $100M in wealth. I get that the app makes it tricky to tip your drivers nowadays since we get a measly $19hr EBT, but since you know food is coming how about maybe leaving a cash tip perhaps? It's a total joke. This is why local NYC officials are looking at further legislation for DD/Uber, which is deserved. Both companies still have customers convinced that we're getting $30hr EBT, which is false. In fact DD is still charging the $2 delivery premium to customers saying it's to cover our $30hr EBT which is a lie. And I don't wanna hear from you haters that customers shouldn't tip. They should. It's American as fkng apple pie.

I have a real life adult corporate job and need to be start acting like it instead of Gayloring on the clock, but I cannot stop thinking about this topic.

Foundations Of "The Man You Script" Theory:

My theory is that the manuscript is actually referring to “the man you script.” To me, this means the storylines that Taylor writes in her songs are (at least sometimes) driven exclusively by fans’ theories and delulu fantasies. It’s the man (men) they script that she writes about. One thing about Taylor is, she gives the people what they want.
I think sometimes the songs about the man the fans script are pure parody songs, and other times they are meant to lead Swifties to believe it’s about some random man Taylor has been linked with, when it’s obvious to Gaylors that it is gay.
There are so many examples of this in her discography, and IMO even more instances have occurred in recent years:

London Boy: We (the public) knew almost nothing about Joe. In parallel to that, this is the most generic song Taylor could have ever written. It touches on the 2 Joe hints we get: he lives in London and he has a normal life and friends, (“pub/rugby with his school friends”). The rest of the song is lyrical vomit about the most touristy London attractions she could think of. It is the definition of camp and I am obsessed with how brilliant she is for trolling this hard.
ATW 10 MV: The original All Too Well was relatively vague, but Taylor all but confirmed it was “about” Jake G when she released the 10 minute version. With mentions of him being older, dating younger girls, and famously missing her birthday. We knew about the missed birthday because of the moment I knew. More on ATW later.
Is It Over Now?: Taylor mentions the literal only two known incidents with her and Harry Styles in this song: the snowmobile accident and the “blue dress on a boat” fiasco. One would think there would be other things they did together that were worth mentioning if the relationship was real, but she chose to call out two media-covered stories. Curious.
So High School: I feel like Gen Z twitter wrote down bullet points of what they assumed Travlor’s relationship was like and sent it to Taylor before she wrote this. This song is chock full of “public knowledge” about the couple and as a bonus, dripping with sarcasm (lol). She went the extra mile in this one by adding in things that the public doesn’t necessarily know, but that they could infer stereotypical Travvy would love: American Pie and GTA. Oh, and knowing how to "ball" and opening her car door. ("Isn't that sweet?") Plus, the “Marry, kiss or kill me?” line and corresponding interview that went viral is so on the nose that it’s impossible she’s serious about this track.
The Alchemy: I don’t have the energy to list all of the stupid football references in this song.
thanK you aIMee: On the fence on who this is even about, but I know it’s not Kim Kardashian. Taylor doesn’t have the energy to write a song about Kim, but she’s fine with Kim getting the credit for being the muse. (Queen behavior IMO)

You could argue that more songs on TTPD fit this category, for sure. Maybe Midnights, too. (If you can think of any others please leave them in the comments!)

How Does This Tie In With “The Man You Script?”

So much of TTPD, in my Gaylor opinion, is designed to set the foundation for Taylor to take part in revisionist history, start to call out her fans/weed out her homophobic fans, and be more “real” in general. TTPD is a departure (!! department) from anything we’ve ever heard from Taylor in a lot of ways. To me, it is the least Taylor Swift™ album we’ve ever heard from her. (Folklore and evermore are exceptions to this, but up until TTPD, the Swifties thought they were fictional.)
As the Manuscript goes:

Now and then she rereads the man you script Of the entire torrid affair They compared their licenses He said, "I'm not a donor but I'd give you my heart if you needed it" She rolled her eyes and said "You're a professional" He said, "No, just a good samaritan" He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was Soon they'd be pushin' strollers But soon it was over

Starting with “They compared their licenses," it reads like a movie script. It is also kinda jolting: they’re joking about their drivers’ licenses with this rom-com esque dialogue, and then all of a sudden it’s onto sex and strollers. And then it just ends. Does this not sound like the absurd and parasocial Swiftie narrative? A storybook beginning, 0-100 in 2 seconds (brand new, full throttle) and talk of babies. Then it goes down in flames. It’s an entertaining story (“are you not entertained?”), and sometimes Taylor looks back on it, on how all this began. I think it’s entirely possible Jake G was the first beard of Taylor’s, personally. And looking backwards is the only way to move forward. I think the first verse is about her first beard.

And the years passed Like scenes of a show The Professor said to write what you know Lookin' backwards Might be the only way to move forward Then the actors Were hitting their marks And the slow dance Was alight with the sparks And the tears fell In synchronicity with the score And at last She knew what the agony had been for

This verse references all the beards that followed. Taylor here validates my theory that her relationships are scripted. The professor (possibly her team?) says to write what YOU (the fan) knows. (The man YOU script; write what YOU know) They tell Taylor to write about the things the public thinks they know about her to protect her private life. Or at least disguise the muse as someone who fits in those parameters.
And, the fans loved it. It made her a gigantic, massive success. A superstar. It strengthened the parasocial relationships that contribute to her success. She was able to keep her private life private and put out stories that the fans crafted themselves (with some help from Tree).
But it isn’t her truth:

The only thing that's left is the man you script One last souvenir from my trip to your shores Now and then I reread the man you script But the story isn't mine anymore

She used to take fan theories and assumptions and own them as her story and truth. The story is not hers anymore, and she is giving it back to the fans because it was their narrative all along.
I think she is saying she isn’t going to do this anymore after TTPD; No more songs like the ones I mentioned to feed the narrative. (On TTPD, I think she trolled the concept) Exile is expiring.
Edit: misquoted lyrics from SHS as the alchemy

Back when I first learned to do dark room enlarging, my high school photography teacher had these transparent exposure guides—they had a test circle with pie slices marked with aperture values printed on it so that you could lay the transparency on top of a sheet of paper, expose at a given starting exposure (let’s say 15s at f2.8), and the resulting circle would give you a perfectly accurate test strip with clear exposure values printed onto the test. I reached out to the same teacher and he said they were called test strip circles but I can’t for the life of me find them online. Anyone else familiar with these and know where to order them?

During the course of my career as an alpha Sasquatch hunting, Dogman destroying, pussy crushing, luxury watch loving dude, I have run into this particular woman a few times. She is one part uber sensuality, and the other part deadly. Yes, I am speaking about the lovely, Anna Conda. I bring her up because I had another run-in with her last year.

Anna and I first joined forces, so to speak, when she acted as a go-between in my business deal with the Chinese to sell them bigfoot parts. See, I would hunt and kill the critters, cut them up, deliver the parts to Anna, who in turn gave me a suitcase containing unmarked American hundred-dollar bills, then she would transport the bigfoot parts to the Chinese. I was never really sure of what the sneaky-ass Chinese were doing with the body parts. All I knew for sure is that they are extracting certain materials from them, then synthesizing them with some other shit, creating some sort of drug. Whether it then becomes a bio-weapon or a dick stimulant, I do not know. Neither do I care. As long as they kept the hundies coming, I was good.

Now, while Anna is of Russian descent, she is a freelancer. She will work for any sick, skeevy motherfucker out there. She does not care. She has no conscience, at least not in the traditional sense as we understand it in western civilization. Today she is working for the Chinese, and tomorrow she may be working for Hamas. She is a slippery motherfucker.

So here is how it went down. At 11:32 p.m. on a Friday in September of last year I get a call on my cell phone. When the call came in I was balls deep into this hot little lass I picked up at the bus station a little earlier in the evening from an old swarthy chap named “Colorado Joe”. He wanted to sell me the girl. I was assured she was over 20 years old. I told him I needed to take her out for a test ride, which he agreed to.

So, there I was, balls deep in “Bing Bang Yun”, and my phone rings. Of course, I silence all incoming calls not in my contacts list. Thus, I knew that I must know the caller. In mid stroke I reached over to the nightstand to retrieve my cell and looked at it. It was a call from “Sergio”. I thought, “Oh shit…. I am going to have to cut the Oriental bang circus short.” When Sergio calls, I have to respond…immediately. He has the best blow on the east coast!!

“Hey, Serge! What’s up?”, I asked. All he said was, “Hooters. 2:00 a.m.”, then hung up. This was obviously the rendezvous for the transaction. Now, understand that Serge was not talking about the chicken wing restaurant. Hooters was code, in case the feds were listening in on the line. “Hooters” meant the titty bar out on Highway 69 called “The Plump Rump”. We had a communications code we used.

It was a long haul to the titty bar, so I needed to get moving. I had no time to return the girl to Colorado Joe, so I took her with me. I had her blow me on the way to the meeting with Sergio, telling her that her performance would make the difference on whether I save her from Joe or not. Of course, after she was done I tossed her out of my speeding truck and down, over the bridge, and into the Wendigo River below. I did not need any complications in my life right now.

I arrived at The Plump Rump at 2:00 a.m. on the dot. I saw the manager, Lou Skunt, sitting at the bar when I walked inside. I nodded. He walked over and said to me, “Use my office for the meeting The parties are already in there waiting for you.” I nodded and then headed to Lou’s office. Then it hit me: Lou said the “PARTIES” are already here. That is, parties, meaning more than one person. It was not just Sergio. It was 2 or more people! Lou was probably in for a cut of whatever was about to go down.

Something was bad fucked up!! I know for a fact that Sergio never brings anyone with him on a deal, at least not with me. He is too distrustful of people to do that, and too fucking mean to need protection. Something was wrong. I was just as likely to get whacked when I enter Lou’s office as anything else. I needed a moment to think things through.

I took a spot in front of one of the performance poles to watch a young, swarthy Mexican lass perform. My mind quickly strayed from the problem at hand to this brown chick’s ass and tits. She was not a great looking chick, but her body was smoking!! I quickly became aroused. I thought to myself, “Goddamn Asian bitches!! They are just like Chinese food – after 2 hours you are ready for some more!!”

When the little Mexican chick went on break I motioned her over to my table. “Hola Senior!!”, she said. I pulled out a clear plastic baggie of blow and dropped it on the table. Her eyes grew wide and slobber starting falling from her mouth. Blow is like catnip for strippers. Thus, she fell under my spell immediately.

The next thing I know, this brown girl was on my lap, dry humping me like a feral bitch dog in heat. I had to bang her. I NEEDED to see my wang penetrating her. Just then, someone taps my shoulder hard. I look up to see Lou standing over me. He bent down and said, “Did you forget about my office, asshole?!?!?!” I replied, “Damn, Lou!! You read my mind!!!” I arose, with the little Mexican bolted onto my mid-section, and hastily retreated to Lou’s office. I figured Lou would prefer me to stain this chick in private rather than out in the open.

The door to the office opened easily. The lights were on inside. In a lustful haze, I set the little Mexican chick on her back across Lou’s desk and started pumping the shit out of her, completely unaware of the others in the room with us. In a moment I heard someone call my name. I twist my neck around to see Sergio sitting on Lou’s jizz crusted couch. I think to myself, “Oh shit! I forgot about that shit!”

I figured I would just move forward with the deal as it was proposed to me. “Hey Serge! What ya got for me, dude?”, I asked. He replied, “I have a very special deal for you. I need, uh … yeah, ……Hey, Rod, you want to stop for a moment so we can talk?” I picked up the little tamale and laid her down onto Sergio’s lap as I continued to plow her. She stayed on my cock the whole time. I told Sergio, “No, man. I’m good! Lay it on me!” Slowly, Sergio lowered his face into his palm.

Then it happened. The voice cam from behind me, in the dark corner of Lou’s office. It was velvety yet hard as steel. “Rod. Went need to talk”, it said. Even though I did not stop pumping the little brown chick, a chill went down my spine when I heard those words. It was the thick timbre of the voice, I think, that alerted me.

I turned to look across the room. There, sitting in a red leather captains chair against the wall was the source of the sultry voice: Anna Conda.

I picked up the little taco yet again and turned her around so I could face Anna as I continued pumping her. At this point the Mexican girl was merely a masturbation toy I was using. I increased my pump so I could dump my load and get this over with. Then BAMM!!!, it was over. I removed the lass from my huge rod, after which her body crumpled to the floor. I did not know if she was dead or injured, or what had happened to her. But I did not care either, so I did not dwell on it.

I tried to compose myself the best I could, then walked over to stand before Anna so I could get to the bottom of all this business. “Well, well, well. Anna Conda. We meet again. Tell me, what brings you here, to my little neck of the woods?”

Anna replied, “Rod, put your dick away.” I looked down and, indeed, I had forgotten to stow my cock. Out of pure curtesy, I packed it away. Then I returned my attention to Anna. “Alright, Anna, what’s going on here?”

Anna launched into a startling tale about what brought her to me. As she spoke I became lost in her wanton beauty. She got up from her chair and walked about the room as she relayed her story, presumably to make it more dramatic and demonstrative. I got a full-on view of her body, and it was fantastic!!

She stands 5’10’’ and weighs 105 lbs. She is lithe. She was showing it off too, wearing a black, silk dress that landed just about her ankles. The top was low-cut, betraying just a bit of cleavage from her C-cup wineglass titties. She was not wearing a bra. Anna never wears a bra. Her nips were perfectly outlined through the silk. In fact, I think her nips were hard. It was probably something she did on purpose in an attempt to influence me. It was working.

Anna’s ass was perfect. It was not at all fat, but round enough not to be skinny. It was a fit figure skater’s ass. As she walked, I could see a tiny bit of jiggle emanating from her ass flesh, and then reverberated in the silky black dress she wore. My cock began growing hard again.

Her face was beautiful. Think Scarlett Johanson and Phoebe Cates rolled into one. But any sweetness this may evoke is quickly dispelled by Anna’s throaty voice with its thick Russian accent. I have known Anna for 20 years. Yet, she still does not look a day over 25. Jesus Christ!!! If ever there was a chick to die for ….. If I was one to delve into the belief of the paranormal, then I may conclude that Anna made a deal with the devil. But, I am not such a person.
And literally, Anna Conda is a chick to die for. She is deadly as fuck. She will kill you in a split second without a thought just because she does not like the shirt you are wearing. She can do it too. She is always armed and she knows how to use her weapons. Moreover, she is a total psychopath. This makes her doubly dangerous.

Anna and I have always gotten along for the most part. Like Anna, the dollar is my primary motivating factor. Such a mindset allows for understanding and predictability among people, which are elements that are sorely missing in many business dealings today that go on in the color of darkness.

Suddenly, Anna snapped me out of my thoughts. “Here’s your gun, Rod. Now let’s get started”, said Anna. She and Sergio were halfway through the door exiting Lou’s office when I said, “Hey, wait a damned minute!!! What are you talking about?!?”

They both stopped, and Anna walked back in and looked me in the eyes, saying “The plan, Rod. Let’s get on with the plan.” A little embarrassed, I sheepishly asked, “What plan?” Anna folded her arms and looked cross at me. After a moment to allow me to simmer in my shame, she asked, “You were not paying attention, were you, Rod?” I shook my head and looked down.

I heard a hammer cock. I jerked my head back up to find myself staring down the barrel of a pistol pointed at my head that Anna was holding. I protested, “Look, it is not my fucking fault!! Put that fucking gun down!!!” I continued, “You were distracting me with …. Well.. you know, how you are dressed, and that hot, sultry voice…. You know?”

“So, instead of paying attention to the plan, you chose to eye-rape me. Is that what I am to understand your position is, Rod?”, she asked. Knowing that my life was on the line, I said, “Anna, look, you know I am horny to a fault. Then you come in here, swinging them tits around, wearing that silk dress showing off the crack of your ass…. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT TO HAPPENED?”

Anna lowered her gun. She knew that my explanation of being a total cocksman was truth. “Let’s go”, Anna curtly said. I obeyed.

Anna explained the plan to me again on the drive from The Plump Rump. She made me wear a blindfold so that I would not get horny during her explanation. Here is how it went:

Anna Conda was now working for the Russians. It seems that Putin caught wind of the Sasquatch project that the Chinese were working on. He also knew that the American government have been fucking with sasquatch for decades. Thus, he was very concerned about the existence of a bigfoot gap. He ordered the acquisition of a Sasquatch specimen immediately.

Moreover, said specimen must be prime. It needed to be the biggest, baddest sasquatch of them all – a true alpha – so as to speed things along. Putin did not want some weird shit-creature, is-it-a-sasquatch-or-is-it-a-dogman, kind of monstrosity. He wanted purebred, badass sasquatchery, and preferably from the American Pacific northwest.

Anna got in on it because she sold the intel to Putin about China’s Sasquatch operation. She then told Putin she could produce sasquatch corpses for him. She told him she had a contact (i.e., me). Thus, with Putin’s blessing and promises of riches to come, Anna set out to America to find me.

Now, here is where things got a bit squirrely. See, I agreed to procure some more dead sasquatch. I have no problem with killing sasquatch because, in my opinion, they are an abomination on this Earth. I kind of feel like I am doing God’s work by wiping out as many of them as I can. And given all the not-so-Godly stuff I have done, I feel like killing Sasquatch kind of offsets that to some degree.

But Anna, she was stuck on Putin’s instruction that she must supply him with apex Sasquatch. So she did not want to take my advice of heading to the Pacific Northwest or Alaska. Instead, Anna claimed to have pinpointed the whereabouts of a particularly gruesome sasquatch beast that she KNEW would win her a fortune from Putin if she brought it to him.

“So, where is this beast?”, I asked. Anna replied “Martha’s Vineyard”. I paused. Then I asked her to repeat herself. It turns out that I was not mistaken about what Anna had said. I continued, “Uh, Anna, there are no sasquatch on Martha’s Vineyard, just a lot of wealth New Englander schmucks.”

Anna looked at me and told me I was wrong. Then she decided to attempt to taunt me. “Oh, Rod, mighty slayer of Bigfoot! Yet, you fail to take notice of where the biggest, most foul and rotten beast of them all makes its home. Jesus, Rod!! What kind of bigfoot hunter are you, anyway?” Anna then spit at my feet and wondered aloud whether she even needs me for this job.

I decided that I needed to straighten out the hierarchy here in order for this here deal to move forward. I said, “Well, Anna, feel free to truck on over to Old Whitey Beach and battle that beast. But, if there is a big old mangy sasquatch lurking around over there, then it is probably a fucking Nazi-Squatch. You know, those fuckers out there hate the Jews.”

The work “Nazi” visibly shook Anna. Her great grandfather died defending Leningrad. Her entire family there died of either starvation or cannibalism during Hitler’s siege during Operation Barbarossa. Anna despised Nazis. But she feared them too. After landing that punch, I decided to push my luck.

“Now, I am still willing to help you catch this here Nazi-Squatch, but you have to do something for me”, I said. Now Anna’s eyes were on me, and they were narrowing. I continued, “I want you to get bare assed naked and pleasure yourself while I stand over you and jack it.” Anna stared at me silently for a long moment. Then she replied.

“After the job is done, and you can get none of your … fluids… on me”, she said. I shook my head and countered, “Now, and I will ‘try’ to not get my spunk on you.”

However, Anna then turned the tables on me. In fact, she picked up the table and bashed my head in with it. She looked me in my eyes, then matter-of-factly said, “You get the beast, and your prize shall be a night with me, anything goes, darling.” Well, since this caused all of the blood to immediately drain from my brain, I had a lapse in judgment. “DEAL!!”, I said. Then we shook on it.

“OK, tell me more about this supposed monster sasquatch on Martha’s Vineyard”, I said. I still was not ready to believe there was a monster out there. “I show you photo”, said Anna. She took out her phone, scrolled to find the photo, then handed the phone to me. “There. Sasquatch”, she said.

I stared at the photo and remained silent. After a long moment, I turned the phone so that Anna could see the photo and asked, “Uh, Anna, is THIS what you intended to show me?” She replied. “Yes! There…Sasquatch! The biggest, grossest monster around.”

Now, I could not argue with Anna that the image on her phone is a big, gross monster. Hell, it could actually be a sasquatch, and THE UBER sasquatch. It is most certainly the grossest thing on Martha’s Vinyard. But I somehow do not think this is what Putin is expecting.

I turned to Anna and said, “Anna, this is a photo of Michelle Obama. I know it looks vile, and has a huge, hulking body with large appendages where a woman should not have them. But, sweatheart, that ain’t no sasquatch. That’s a big, hairy Chicago street negro.”

Anna did not believe me at first. She was hard in her conviction that Obama was a sasquatch. “I have seen the Sasquatch beast you deliver to me for China. This … Michelle Obama …. It is big, and hairy, and ugly like the sasquatch beast, but worse.”

When the truth finally set it, I could see that it had kind of broken down poor Anna, if only just a bit. I put my arm around Anna and told her, “Look, Michelle O fooled you. Hell, she and her Hamas Hubby fooled millions of Americans, twice! At least you saw Michelle for what she is, to wit: a big, gross sasquatch, and NOT some kind a retarded leftist messiah.”

After that, things took a rather dark turn. “What if we still take her to Putin? We can make deal; sell her to Putin!!” At this point I held up my hands and said, “I’m out”, then turned and walked away. Anna followed, trying to get me to stay. At this point, I could tell that Anna was coming undone a little.

See, she had to produce for Putin. There is no telling what kind of secret deal she actually had with him. She had to deliver a big old mangy Obama …. Er, uh, I mean … Sasquatch, to Putin.

“Ok, Rod, we do your plan. We go out west to kill bigfoot. Huge, monster bigfoot. she said. I turned and looked Anna in her eyes and said the following: First, we bang for 48 hours straight, right now, so I can get my fill of you. Second, you pay me $10,000.00 cash upfront. Third, upon delivery of the dead bigfoot, you pay me $1 million immediately.”

Anna agreed to everything, but noted that at the present time it was her “time of the month”. I grimaced, as I will absolutely not go there (and she knows that). “Fine, next week we bang”, I said. She pointed out that I would be in the woods next week hunting sasquatch. “Fine, once I come out of the woods, then we bang – 48 hours straight”, I said. “Of course, darling!”, she agreed.

Well, it took several days to set up the hunt, but it finally happened. I was in Washington state at high elevation based on intel I has acquired that indicated that there was a monstrous 15’ tall sasquatch on the mountain range that had been murdering and eating hunters and hikers. After 3 months in these mountains without a trace of the creature I began to lose hope, thinking that I probably got some bad intel, or bad coordinates.

I got my satellite phone out to call for an extraction. Winter was setting in fast, and if I did not get off this mountain soon, then I would freeze and/or starve to death. Unfortunately, my contact did not answer. I tried for 2 days. No answer. I had been fucked. I wondered what had happened back in civilization that caused me to be abandoned like this. I resolved that I would get off that mountain and get to the bottom of this shit. There would be hell to pay for this betrayal!!’

I was able to get in touch with contacts from back home. I got old Billy Ray from Ellijay and Rattler on the phone and got them to come out here to Washington State to extract me. Rattler use to fly helicopters in the Army. He has an old Huey sitting in his front yard, to the chagrin of his HOA. He fired that sucker up, and him and old Billy Ray flew out here to my coordinates and extracted me.

After landing at a convenience store to buy some beer for the flight home, we headed east. Through the skies a way, Billy Ray said, “Well, Rod, I guess you is bout ready to git back home to Georgia, eh?” In fact, I was ready to go home. But I had to take care of some business first. I told them both to take me to New York City. They were both perplexed. All I said to them was “I have an old friend there I have to see before I can go home.”

I have intel on where Anna Conda stays when she is in the United States. She stays at certain hotels depending on what month she is here, and whether her check-in date is an odd or even number. This is for undercover work. I came across the code for her stays while doing the sasquatch work for China. She an I were caught in a snowstorm one night in Buffalo, NY, and had to share a room at the Holiday Inn near the airport. We had like 10 big Igloo ice chests with iced down sasquatch body parts with us in the room.

Anna was like, “No hanky panky, Rod. I am tired and I want to go to bed. Tomorrow we finish business.”

Frankly, I did not blame her for withholding her magnificent muff from me. I was tired as hell. But, I could not settle for nothing. So, when Anna was in the bathroom taking a shower, I started going through her suit case. I wanted to find some of her panties to jack off into. Instead, I found a little black notebook. Inside it contained her lodging codes, and some other interesting things. I photographed the contents with my phone and then put it back.

When Anna got out of the shower she was already dressed in her night clothes. She saw me lying on my back, nude on the bed, and jacking it. “Rod!! GROSS!!!! Go to the restroom to do that shit!!!”, she commanded. I just did it to get a rise out of her. LOL!!

So, if Anna is still inside the U.S., then using the codes I stole from her I can locate precisely where she will be that night. I studied it for a few moments then had my answer. Tonight she would be staying at the Dogman Inn on Hwy 95 South, Room 355. I told Rattler to get me there stat!

We had to stop several times for fuel and beer. Those Hueys go just a bit over a hundred MPH, you know. But eventually, we got there. I gave the boys some money and told them to go to the Waffle House for some coffee to sober up. Then they would fly me home.

I should mention that I also had Rattler’s fully auto Russian AK-74 with spare mags. During the long flight with 2 drunks from Washington State to New York City, I had worked myself up into a towering rage over how Anna fucked me on this Putin deal. She had clearly thrown me aside. But for what, exactly? I figured I would storm the hotel room, get some answers, then shower the room with gun fire.

I busted through the door of Room 355 at exactly 3:35 a.m. There she was. My entry roused her from slumber. I was pointing my rifle at her, center mass. She was shocked at the appearance of a gunman in her room at this time of night. However, she was not as shocked as one would think (this was not the first time something like this has happened to her).

I raised my face from the receiver just enough so she could see it was me. “Rod!!!”, she exclaimed. “What happened to you?!?!? I thought you had died up in those mountains when we never hear from you!” I replied, “Shove it up that cute little ass of yours, Anna. You fucked me. And not in the good way. What the fuck was all that shit about needing a sasquatch for Putin?!?”

Anna played dumb. But it struck me that I had been deliberately put out of the loop for 3 months. Why? Who wanted me away for that long, and why? What went on in my absence?!? I was just dying to know!!! I set my rifle down and pulled out my fixed blade knife, ready to get down to some real nasty work on Anna so I could get some truth. The pure evil of what I was about to do to her caused a wide death grin to grow on my face. Anna saw it. She knew what it meant. She swallowed hard and her eyes betrayed the shear terror she felt inside. I was engorged with blood lust. She knew she had fucked up one time too many this time!!

Suddenly came the sound of the toilet in the bathroom flushing. I was momentarily shocked. I did not expect anyone else to be there with Anna. Anna saw it in my face. I glanced at her and saw that the terror in her face was replaced with pleasure, a slight smile creeping over her face.

I was going to have to face off against this person in the bathroom, who would be out in a split moment. When I do that, I will have to turn 180 degrees from Anna, thereby making me vulnerable to her. I had only once choice: Shoot Anna first.

Just as this came to me, but just before I could act on it, the bathroom door opened. I had to deal with that person before Anna now. I spun around to see that it was a completely nude, and fat, white man. He was a real oafish blob. He looked surprised to see me. He also looked sort of familiar.

I next heard the crack of something hitting my skull hard. I remember the immediate hateful pain that shot through my body and the sound of blood rushing through my ears. I remember the dizziness, then falling to the floor. Clearly, as I fixed on the man from the bathroom, Anna had cracked me over the head with a blunt object.

I came to the next morning, Billy Ray and Rattler had manage to track me down based upon coordinates I left in the chopper that said “IN CASE OF EMERGENCY”. Billy Ray filled up the hotel room ice bucket with cold water and doused my head with it to bring me conscious. I was disoriented at first. But after a bit, what happened in this room the night before came back to me.

Honestly, I am surprised that Anna did not just kill me. I presume that she thinks she can leverage her drop-dead hotness to get me to do more shit for her in the future. She is absolutely right about that too. Rattler then said, “Hey, Rod, that snake bitch left a letter fer ya.”

He handed me the letter. This is what it said:
____________________________________________

“Dear Rod:

Sorry about the boo boo on your head. Hope it heals soon. Also sorry about leaving you in the mountains. I was not running a scam on you Rod. Rather, an opportunity arose for me to acquire a sasquatch body from another person. You may know him since you are a sasquatch hunter. His name is Matt Moneymaker. Anyway, until next time…..

Yours truly,
Anna Conda”
_____________________________________________
I could not fucking believe it. That was fatfuck Moneymaker in the hotel room earlier. Anna fucked Matt Fatfuck Moneymaker for a Sasquatch! That fat son of bitch!!

Billy Ray asked, “You ready to go Rod?” I stood up and said, “Yeah, let’s go.” Then Rattler said, “Hey, ya wanna stop and git some beer fer the ride home?” I replied “Hell yeah.”

I felt like I wanted to die. Thank God for beer and buddies. I don’t blame Anna. She is a fucking snake, and I knew that before this started. Also, I cannot really blame fatfuck Moneymaker for wanting to get some of that hot poon pie Anna serves up. I guess I have to blame fate for fucking me over this time. I even started thinking that next time I will just avoid Anna. But I know I won’t, thus making me subject to this sort of shit again. I had Rattler set us down in Charlottesville so I could buy some hard liquor.

Here are the goodies.

I am excited about the butter. It's dairy free, and you can't tell the difference for most of the baked goods I make!

Total: $19.84

Coupons: None!

Total Cash Back: $20.45

Final Cost: -$0.61 - Money Maker

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Cheesecake Factory GC - $10 bonus card when you buy a $50 one - Expires 5/12
Fromm Diner Can - Free after coupon. (It's pet food)
Painterland Sisters Yogurt - Free after rebate. PayPal or Venmo. Whole Foods only.
Beneful - IB + SK
Suja Protein Shake - Free at Target in-store or online.
Coffee (Any?) - You get a coupon for up to $10 in free coffee when you buy 3 participating special K cereals. I don't see anything mentioned about specific brands, but I also don't quite know how it works. - Expires 5/30/24
Gooey - Free after rebate - Venmo/PayPal - (It says Walmart at the top, but it also says "from any store")
Perfect Bar - One free bar - PayPal, Venmo, Amazon - Rebates are often instant
CHKP - Free after Aisle - Fairway, Whole Foods, ShopRite
Dr Elsey's Cat Litter - Up to $22 back on a bag up to 40 lbs when you purchase at Target, Walmart, or a local business pet store. You need to cut out the barcode and mail it in with the receipt. One rebate per person/household/address. Must submit within 90 days. There's also a handful of $1 coupons on this page.
Free bag of Like Air Puffcorn - Refund via PayPal or Venmo. Must purchase in-store or for curbside pickup. Expiration date unknown.
Kellogg's Promotions - Various stuff ranging from coupons for free products, movie tickets, various merchandise, and more.
Various Sampoll offers
Offers on Aisle Referrals: Halfday Rockstar - Buy 2 get $5 back. No gas purchase needed. Can do every other week. Free HOP Water (using my ref will give me another rebate offer) Pays out via PayPal or Venmo
Various freebies on Ibotta.
Various deals I've done in previous weeks can still be done.

Afterthoughts

Small haul for a small bonus today. I put together that part of the haul last night, and once I saw the $5 / 10 bonus, I completely forgot to check every other app, haha. Technically a slight profit loss meeting my IB bonus today, but that's okay because I'm making progress towards my bigger bonus. If I were to prorate that bonus, that'd be an extra $4.52, so it's definitely worth it.

My Beneful finally stopped resetting, unfortunately. Hopefully the Mac a Roni and butter keep resetting. I was going to get a couple other things too just to work towards my big bonus, but my store was out. I'll be going out of town later this week, so maybe I'll get lucky and find some good deals at stores that aren't around here.

Time Spent

I glanced at IB last night for like 5-10 minutes. I was planning to finish planning the haul today, but I didn't need to find any more deals. I was in the store for 50 minutes today, which included my regular shopping as well as browsing through the plants and clearance aisles.

Food From Deals

Here's an idea: Mix up a white cheddar Mac a Roni, with your choice of ham, sausage, chicken, pork, or one of the vegan meat alternatives. Add a little soy sauce, and some green peas if you wish. You could even add some extra butter and milk (or plant based milk) to make it a bit creamier. Serve with a slice of buttered toast or some Jasmine Rice. Perhaps make a little Banana bread for dessert. (Note: Everything mentioned has Ibotta deals available.)

Here's some things I've made in the past: High Protein Tomato Crackers, Hot Sausage Cups, Peanut Butter Fudge & Chocolate Hazelnut Fudge, Chocolate Cherry Pie

Do you guys want me to continue showing things I've made using ingredients I got from rebate apps on these posts? Let me know in the comments, or you can vote on this poll if you want to remain anonymous.

Mini FAQ

If you're new or confused - check out the guides near the top of the post. They go into detail about everything.
I'm from the USA and these posts are tailored as such, but this post of mine does list things from other countries that I know about.
My posts are tailored to being money makers to suit this subreddit. There are tons of great deals that aren't money makers but can still save you a lot of money.
A lot of what I get is given away to friends, family or is donated. I do this more as a hobby than anything.
I generally do not share my spreadsheet since the one shown in this post is not the one I actually use (it's put together with a script from my usual spreadsheet) and there are a ton of little things that will give you wrong values if you don't know about them and even then you have to be careful. It's super easy to make a spreadsheet with Google Sheets though.

Okay so Cooper the ghoul has been around since the bomb drops. ~230 years.
Here is my understanding of ghouls, they don't taste human food and need the medicine from keeping feral. Ok cool.
So when Cooper has Lucy hostage and is going to find medicine cause his vials broken he runs into a ghoul friend. I believe his name was Ralph or something.
They get to talking. The soon to be feral ghoul Ralph says he had a good 70years or something and that was nothing compared to Cooper who outlasted them all.
Cooper distracts him with memories of tasting apple pie and ice cream and some other brief memories before the bombs dropped.
Here is where I get twisted . How does this Ralph ghoul even know any of this or has tasted apple pie and ice cream. Ralph would have to be 2-3 generations post war by his age at the very least. When did he get to eat apple pie?!? I'm assuming it must of been blown away and very unavailable to him and then he likely came a ghoul fast cause the radiation levels that early.
So how the fuck does he remember pre war shit and how apple pie and ice cream tasted. It's fucking my mind up..please correct me Reddit.
Edit: The other ghouls name was Roger. Oops

I decided not to post this on a subreddit because people's feeds are full of this crap.
Saturday my husband woke up early he was going across the state line (like 45mins away) with his friends to go shooting. Tells me to expect a delivery that's perishable and skiddadles.
He had harassed me for the last couple weeks on what I wanted with a final "wtf do you want for mothersday??" Text. I finally gave him a response. Flowers, meat pies, curry.
The delivery was a plant. I didn't want a plant. I didn't want 1 because I don't have any good spots in the home to put them, I don't keep up with watering and they die. Then he makes comments about how I killed them and makes a running joke about me always killing them. I wanted a bouquet of flowers.
The second part of the delivery was chocolate covered strawberries. I had stopped asking for them in the past because he always gets them shipped instead of picking them up local and they are too perishable for that combined with FedEx love of leaving all my packages in direct sunlight. So they are a wet mush mess. This time wasn't so bad but they were still over ripe and not what I wanted. The meat pies I asked for can also be ordered from a less local bakery and shipped but are much hardier. He never looked into it or asked about how I thought he would get them(assumed i meant for then to be picked up). For the cost of the strawberries I could have gotten a dozen meat pies.
"I guess this means I still need to get curry after work on monday". My favorite curry place is 5 mins from his work. 1hr from the house. There's a closer resturant about 45mins away. I'm not sure I'm actually going to get any.
So at 11am Saturday he calls to make sure I got the packages. I did. I said thank you(something he denies but maybe I didn't sound as appreciative as he wanted). I decide to do something for me and drag the kids to get my haircut for the first time in 5 years.
He calls at 7:30 the only thing on his mind is "I'm heading home what's for dinner". He was gone for 12 hours He comes home and goes to sleep I make dinner. Have a kid wake him up. I ask what his plans are for mothers day. He said hang here. Any plans for dinner?. Nope. Great.
He tells the girls mommy is being rude to him and mean to him. They tell me I shouldn't be mean to him. I tell them he shouldn't have said that to them and that it's between me and daddy and I have my reasons.
I wake up around 6:30 to put pork in the crockpot for dinner so atleast that will be done, then go lay back down.
I get up at 9 to go to the grocery store for a few things(walmart has a ton of pretty bouquets of flowers, i dont buy any), clean the house, get the kids up and fed. He wakes up at 1pm. The eldest gives me her mothersday school work and we read it together. The youngest is sad that she didn't have anything to give me.
To his credit he is trying to be in a good mood around me. Asks if I want breakfast. No I already ate. Cool. He cooks breakfast and cleans up after himself. I empty the dishwasher and he comes to help. He brings the laundry to the bedroom where me and youngest fold. I load the dishwasher alone.
I would like to point at no point in the past 18 hours has he mentioned my haircut. I cut my hair from mid back to above my shoulders. It is 100% noticeable. There are only 2 interpretations of this from him. Somehow he has missed this or otherwise thought he said something but he didnt, or he doesn't like it and instead of just lieing and saying something nice he's choosing to ignore it. He did this with my last very similar haircut 5 years ago. Said nothing and when I called him out on not saying anything he said it was too bouncy. He didn't like it. I'm assuming that since it's such a dramatic difference it's the second one and he can't even be nice to me for 5 seconds and tell a white lie.
He's still trying to be nice to me(not nice enough to give me a compliment though) and I'm shutting him down(not with words or yelling or anything like that, I'm done) and going elsewhere in the house. I take a nap in the kids bed as he was watching tiktoks loudly in ours. I get up and prep the dinner and make sides and serve everyone. The rest of the evening is me sitting down in various places as he continuously trys to sit as close as possible. He doesn't ask what's wrong. He doesn't try apologizing for anything. Still no comment on my hair.
I put the kids to bed.
This morning he wakes up for work and he's in a bad mood "because you've been a bitch to me all weekend". Great. At least his nice to me act is over.
Edit: he brought home curry for dinner. Also "did you cut your hair?" 2 days yall. 2 days to notice my haircut.

Sayings pie

/r/PewdiepieSubmissions