So for just a little background on the family dynamics, my dad has 4 kids with 3 different women, he is married to 1 of them now who isn't the birth mother of me or my sister, but she is our mom and love her as such. I grew up out of state, while sis lived in the same city as dad, and she had our other siblings and a step dad so 2 sets of parents growing up. It was always just me and my mom and my maternal grandparents would help whenever they could come into state. But I was the outside child.
The relationship between us all got better once I became an adult, but right before that I had gone 6 years without talking to any of them because I felt unwanted and abandoned, and it did have a negative impact on my mental health and behavior in my teens.
Now things were great until about a year and a half ago, and I saw my dad more since I lived really close. But it did decrease since my sis had my nephew. I absolutely love him and he is an absolute joy, but seeing how my dad is with him and how he is almost always is a topic of discussion especially with how he is the main topic with my sis, I feel the old feelings coming back up because I never got this treatment growing up, my mom would beg my dad to see me, but he immediately is about my nephew and even my nieces but not as much since they live in a different state.
I haven't really spoken to my dad or sis in a few months because I don't want them to know how bitter I've been and am ashamed to admit I am jealous of a 1yo. But I don't know how to jump back into conversation or mention this to even just my dad. What should I do about this?

So, this is going to be pretty long but I just turned 17 like a month ago and it’s getting a bit hard when it comes to knowing who I should talk to. When I was 16 it seemed like most of everything was fine but now people think I’m being weird with kids ((mainly adults but some teens to)) and as someone with a severe anxiety disorder and deep intrusive thoughts it’s really getting to me. I don’t want people to think I’m weird in that way, because, obviously I’m not but since all of this is coming from mainly adults I’m just stuck.
So to dig a bit deeper into this, kids absolutely love to hang around me ((my guess ofc)), most are from the ages 10 and under. I figured this because this one little girl was so attached to me that she once started to cry and grab onto me because she had to go home one night. This has happened with a few kids that just didn’t really want to leave my side and I still don’t know why kids find me amusing but if I had to guess I’d say it’s because I treat them like they are kids. We live in a neighborhood of mostly black families and from what I know first hand things are pretty rough. Being whooped with stuff and yelled at constantly and told to go away is so so common here and some parents would even beat their kids outside infront of everyone. ((I witness my mom also have a few fist fights with my younger sister aswell.)) so, I play with them as if I’m their older sister because i know how boring it can get and I also just don’t want to have any kids missing out on all the potential fun they could have. Sometimes we play games at the park ((that I just make up randomly, sometimes the kids would even want to play it again the next day or even a week later because they found the random game I came up with fun. I use to also do this when I was a little kid myself so I didn’t really struggle with coming up with what kids would find fun.)) and sometimes we’d play out in my front yard.
I haven’t really been outside in like forever btw until I had finally stopped letting my depression get to me. I started to dress how I wanted to and acted how I wanted to aswell and I found this had made me pretty happy. So, I guess this is also why kids started to approach me much more because of this but the problem is, the one kid who thinks I dress cool. ((She says I remind her of “y2k”.)) is 10 years old. She gave me her number, her Roblox, and her instagram and she also really REALLY wants to have a sleep over at my house and she always wants me to come over to hers. Her mom and her aunt finds that weird but I can’t really blame them..but I swear I have no bad intentions because when she FaceTimes me we play hang man and guess the drawing and when we call we are almost always playing Roblox or talking about when we will be outside and what we can play tomorrow.
It just really hurts because I want to be someone who works with kids, I want to be someone who kids can go to and when I found out that I am, from someone who is also younger than me, it had just made me feel like I did something right for once. I was always so aggressive and terrible to my own siblings so I guess I just want to make up for some lost time in a way? Does that make sense?? Anyways. But I DO NOT want to be the weird girl who people thinks “likes kids”. ESPECIALLY since I’m pansexual, aka apart of the lgbtq+. ((I already have a boyfriend of age because obviously I know limits.))
So to get to what I joined this for, should I distance myself away from the girl and overall just try to hang out with kids my own age? Please if you can, just help me out here. I genuinely don’t want to get myself into trouble.

I am almost 6 weeks postpartum. I have had what seems like a rough experience since the day we came home from the hospital. I have always had anxiety that I take medication for. I’ve had problems with family and just adjusting to the new mom life and being home all day everyday 95% of the time (I have never stayed home like this before I have a full time job I’ll be returning to in a couple weeks) my baby usually will only sleep if she’s being held so sleep is difficult. With all of it combined I’ve hit a low spot and even with anxiety the last 8 years I’ve never had depression so it’s all new to me as well. My husband seems to understand I’m at a low spot he always makes sure he tries getting me out of the house to do things. However, he thinks I’m losing feelings for him and that I no longer love him. I keep telling him it’s not that I’m just going through a lot. He has seen it from the beginning with a stressful pregnancy, rough first birth experience (I ended u having c section and was sick through the whole surgery, the day we got home from hospital I ended up at ER for back issues thinking from epidural just to find out I had pre hypertension and have been on BP medication since). With my anxiety I overthink A LOT. OVER EVERYTHING! So now I feel like I’m ruining my marriage even though I know 100% it’s not my fault and as women we experience something men will never understand or could go through the same. I know he is understanding what I’m going through by what I tell him because he acknowledges I need to get away and take a break or how he knows/notices and appreciates what I do for the household and our child. I don’t believe our marriage is going down hill but now it’s been stuck in the back of my mind that because of my low that it’s affecting us. I can feel the tension between us which brings me lower. All I feel like doing is crying but so “numb” and low that I physically cannot. I always feel guilty about everything that’s not done in the “right” ways such as our sleeping arrangements and having to co sleep. When I was 2 weeks postpartum, I went to my primary doctor to remove the covering off my stitches and we talked about my anxiety and experience I had with birth. My doctor knows me personally and so during a discussion with my mother, she asked how things were and even mentioned how she was super worried about me and how I was doing because of the place I already was in by the second week.
I know PPD is different for everyone and can last longer than others. But any advice that helped you get through it? As much as I want to say “I’d hate to be the reason my marriage goes down hill” I know it’s also on my husbands part on how he handles it and realizes the reality of what I’m going through. We have never had huge relationship problems, we don’t argue much. We are also coming up on our 1 year wedding anniversary. (We knew from the beginning we wanted to start a family very soon. We have been together almost 6 years. And lived together for a year prior to marriage but was engaged for that time). Most people say the first year of marriage is hard but I’m grateful to say we had a blessed first year. It does seem like going through my depression and knowing how he has felt because of me has been our rough/hard spot within our first year. I have got to where I will fake smile and laugh just so everything seems “fine”.

[First]
CHAPTER 30
Lumiea
Year -19 (L.D.)

The flight was a blur. The black-clad rebels blended into the black interior of the Aerolux, while the world outside the windows ripped across Aeryn's view like a stream of light.
Her head swam with dizziness from whatever they injected into her neck. Time felt as if it twisted in loops instead of running straight forward.
With the speed they likely traveled, they could make it halfway across the world in an hour. But when they landed, it felt as if ten hours had passed, and as if it had only been minutes. How could both feel so true? The disorienting contradiction swirled in her mind.
Hands seemed to come at her from all sides. She tried to draw energy into her palms to fight, only nothing happened. There wasn't even a spark of heat. Her vision swooped as she lowered her head to see her hands bare. When had they taken her mods and bound her wrists together?
Aeryn tried to kick at the blur of bodies surrounding her, only they'd tied her legs as well. Her body writhed like a fish plucked from the water and dropped on the deck of a boat. As pathetic as it was useless.
Even though they'd landed, the outside still looked how it had speeding past the window. The trees and empty space between them tangled together. Purple sky streaked down into the ground. Aeryn squeezed her eyes shut and mustered all the strength she possessed to rip free from her binds.
Pathetic. Useless. A total failure.
Her efforts only earned her a swift fist to her rib cage and a scream muffled by a gag she didn't realize was there before.
What the hell had they given her?
Her eyes closed and then she opened them to a dimly lit room. They'd instantly transported her here.
No. What a stupid thought. She'd obviously passed out and woken up here. And time seemed to be running in a straight line again. The drug had worn off enough for her to start to collect her thoughts.
Pain beat around the edges of her skull in a throbbing headache.
On its heels came the flood of anger, with fear buried too deeply within it for her to actually feel.
There were others in the room. She blinked to clear her vision as she looked to another girl lying on her side nearby, bound just like Aeryn. Thirteen others littered the room, most passed out, but a few awake like she was. Her eyes caught another man's stare. While most of them looked to be around Aeryn's age, a few were older. Perhaps, late twenties or early thirties. The one looking at her must have been that age.
Aeryn huffed and tried in vain to rip her arms free once more.
Her squad would be frantically searching for her now. The thought of them worrying about her made her feel sick. She wanted to find a way to comfort them, tell her she was okay, but even if she could do that, it would be a lie. Aeryn had no idea what these people planned to do.
So she couldn't waste her time and energy crying about what happened to her or how her friends might feel. What information did she have? The fellow captives were a good source, not that she could immediately identify many patterns. Only that they were all younger and everyone looked to be in good shape. It wouldn't be a stretch of the imagination to assume they were military like Aeryn. She didn't see any signs of surgical body modifications, like the faint blue of biofluid, but in this light, she doubted she'd make that out. Were they combat soldiers or specialists?
Aeryn searched her memory, trying to discern the fuzzy details. It was hard to remember anything from the Aerolux now, not even how many people had been inside. Before being taken, she'd been collecting samples to create fuel when she heard a hum behind her. By the time Aeryn had twisted to make out the Aerolux hovering behind her, the terrible pain had already shot through her body.
Immediately her hand mods stopped working. She knew how fast it had happened because the instant she saw the Aerolux, she'd drawn upon energy in her palms.
No one should have an Aerolux except for Commander Vehru and those she'd entrusted one to. So it had never occurred to her to view one as a threat. But seeing it directly behind her, she'd known something was wrong.
Everything happened so fast. Aeryn struggled to remember the few short seconds that passed between seeing the Aerolux, losing her hand mods, and feeling the needle slide into her neck.
Wait. Her eyes closed. That wasn't what she remembered. It was what she assumed. Aeryn couldn't actually recall anyone injecting her. Pain had bitten into the back of her neck and within seconds, she'd lost motor control. Her final rational thought had been that they'd used an EMP to disable her mods and drugs to sedate her.
A cold sweat dampened her neck as she opened her eyes. Who were these people to have these kinds of resources? Her hand mods should have been protected from an EMP, but there were those powerful enough to destroy her equipment. Not only did her captors possess powerful weapons and drugs, but they somehow had an Aerolux.
No one on her planet had ever taken control of an Aerolux as far as she knew.
Were these rebels or someone else? Something else?
Hours passed as she tried to string together the few facts she knew into a theory that made any sense. Why had they taken her and the others? Who were they? What did they want?
Aeryn was a private. She wasn't worth much.
Unless they knew she was a candidate for the Witness Program. Maybe they even knew what that meant.
She needed to ask the others if they were candidates too, but no one had been successful in attempts to remove their gags or bindings. One woman had persistently raked her mouth against the ground to try to break the gag free and managed only to rub the tip of her nose raw. The binding was made of something stronger than their skin and it wasn't going anywhere.
Aeryn didn't waste her energy or her emotional wherewithal on attempts certain to lead to failure–which would create discouragement. Instead, she planned. At first, it felt that she couldn't plan for anything. The room was empty. The windows had been boarded closed. No one had entered to say anything to them. For all she knew they'd been left here to starve to death.
But the little information she did have actually told her quite a bit. Unless this was a training exercise–a possibility she would not consider as it would only serve to give her false hope–then whoever had taken her opposed the Federation in a way that the normal resistance did not ordinarily manage. Either they were a threat Aeryn did not know existed, perhaps one from her home planet or even another, or the rebels were capable of far more than Aeryn knew.
As the hours passed, Aeryn felt desperate for water and sleep. She nodded off a few times, but tried to stay awake, afraid she would miss something.
Finally, a woman entered the room. She wore all black with hair tucked beneath a black cap. She offered no name and no introduction.
"As bioengineers, you're all smart people." The woman turned to look at each of them. "As Witness candidates, I'm confident you're also resilient. So forgive us for the uncomfortable arrangements, but we can't be too careful with any of you."
This focused the possibilities in her mind and confirmed her suspicions. First, her captor spoke General American English. Interesting. And she knew about the Witness Program. A wry smile might have twisted her lips if not for the gag. Maybe she'd at least finally learn something about what the hell a Witness even was.
"You're trying to figure out who we are and why we took you. What will happen to you." Clasping her hands, the woman breathed out deeply. "I want to show you the respect of being honest. We will decide which of you should live and which should die."
Aeryn's muscles tightened. Of course, she realized they had not kidnapped them with innocent intentions, but hearing it made it all feel real.
"Commander Vehru has told you little about the Witness program. You don't understand what you're being considered for and just how many people you could hurt." Her eyes landed on Aeryn for a moment before her gaze continued on to hesitate on each person. "Some of you probably deserve to die and some of you probably deserve to live. I can't worry about that. I have one mission that I've dedicated my life to." Her voice hardened. "That is my sole concern. I advise you to cooperate with us."
She walked out of the room and paused before leaving.
"We're moving you within the hour."
Everyone looked to each other after the woman left, their eyes saying what they couldn't speak.
Even with Aeryn's mind reeling from the information, a moment came where she no longer felt alone. The connection with these fellow bioanalyst and Witness candidates soothed her aching chest. At least for a few minutes. It quickly turned into longing for her own people.
What was her squad doing now? Lyon and Nikka would be holding one another together as they tried to find a way to help her. Trin would be investigating and analyzing. Alix…
Aeryn honestly had no idea what Alix would do. He'd care. He'd want to find her. But if he felt helpless enough, then he'd probably just start lashing out at everyone around him and make things worse.
And Jace.
Surprise nipped her at the pain that flooded her chest as she imagined him. Aeryn didn't have to wonder what Jace would be doing. Even though he spent so much time ignoring her, acting aloof, trying to run away, he also ferociously guarded her. She hadn't even realized the extent of it until now as memories turned through her mind. His worry about her flying over the lake, the protectiveness of her in battle, the fear in his eyes any time she was injured. What had annoyed Aeryn and made her feel like he looked down on her now appeared very different to her. It wasn't that Jace didn't trust her competence.
He cared about her.
He would be waging a war right now trying to find her.
Fear had been a constant hum in her mind since she first saw the Aerolux, but it consumed her now as she thought of the danger her squad could get into searching for her and fighting to free her. What if one of them got seriously hurt? Or worse. If anyone would do something crazy, it would be Jace. The thought of something happening to him made her body go rigid with dread and panic.
Aeryn had to find a way out of here and back to her squad.
[First] [Last] [Royal Road] [Discord]
Note: Book 1 of Witness is finished on Royal Road if you'd like to read ahead. Sorry for not updating here for a long time!

Hey there, I'm Aaron! I'll be trying very hard to reduce the amount of corporate email jargon and extra passive-aggressive exclamation points in this r4r ad. I feel like I've forgotten how to write in any other way. Anyways, here's a little resume-style breakdown of who I am, what I'm looking for, and who I hope responds.

What ya boy wants

Ideally, a girlfriend who one day becomes my forever partner. I'm tired of being alone and feel like there's a giant human-shaped hole in my heart. I'm trying to live that DINK (dual income, no kids) lifestyle with the love of my life. That's about it, but since this is resume-style, let me pad it out with some extra deets for the AI to comb over...
I've only ever really dated three people seriously, not for lack of opportunity, but for what I always felt was a lack of connection and compatibility. I'm a bit picky in who I choose to date or even befriend, but it's not a trait I particularly regret or dislike. I think knowing what you want is good.

Who I am

In brief: I am a young urban professional homebody who also loves big cities but wants to simultaneously live near a forest. Previous partners have described me as blindly confident, complementary, and thoughtful. I'm a pretty good listener and have a high emotional quotient. My friend once described me as being "the most stubborn person he has ever met," and he has known me the greater part of 25 years. This is probably, sadly, true. At least I'm honest!
My hobbies fluctuate wildly, and sometimes I'm super hyper-fixated on, say, plants and gardening (I usually get the itch in the spring and fall), and then two weeks later I'm all about learning how to sew for cosplay. I think variety is the spice of life, so whatever. Sue me. You aren't ready for my legal hyper-fixation period.
Quick jot hobbies/interests:

• plants / gardening
• cosplay and conventions (I'm new-ish to this but am loving it so far)
• creative or casual games like, Minecraft, Stardew, Cities Skylines, old Pokemon, some Nintendo titles, Hades (not casual but is my all-time favorite single player game), and League ARAM / Arena
• hiking / nature
• birds (I fucking love birds)
• travel
• weightlifting / exercise

Basic stats:

• 5' 10"
• 145ish pounds
• brown hair, green eyes, a solid 7 on a good day
• master's degree in political science (useless wall decor)
• no kids and never wants them
• social drinker (read: rarely), no drugs
• Jewish, but culturally, not religiously
• politically liberal (not left) but more moderate than anything
  • I tend to be socially liberal, fiscally liberal, and somewhat of an old-school pro-NATO hardliner when it comes to international relations and foreign policy

All about you

Alright, that was probably a lot. No shame if you scanned, but there are some basic minimum requirements for this next part to make sure we're compatible. I'm looking for someone who wants to live a DINK life-- that is, no kids. I don't want to be a father, and I think at minimum, that should be the base requirement for having the responsibility of raising children. I like kids, I just don't want any. If you think you might want kids in the future, it probably wouldn't work between us.
I also need someone who is, at minimum, in the continental US and Jewish (non-religious), bonus points for somewhat close to me. I'm cool with long-distance so long as there's intent for one of us to move to the other at some point. I strongly prefer women within the age range of 26-34. A little outside this range in either direction could be fine if we had a really strong connection.
Ideally, we have similar hobbies and interests. Check the above list for some ideas, but that isn't an exhaustive rundown. I'm saving that for the PowerPoint presentation. Physically, I would prefer someone with an athletic, thin, or average body type. I'm not super attracted to larger women, and I do believe physical attraction is extremely important in a relationship.
Quick recap; you are:

• in the continental US
• in the age range of 26-34
• do not have kids or wants kids ever
• similar hobbies/interests
• athletic, average, or thin body type

---------
And, since I'm asking for a lot after all, here's a picture of me. Please excuse the dead smile/eyes, I have heavy eyelids 😑

This is my first time writing something on reddit so it might be long please bear with me but i genuinely need assistance. Also, i dont share with people not even my friends or family whats going on with me but i have kept this within me for a while now. Hope yall will help.
Me (24 F) and my ex(24 M), we dated for like 6 months; I basically jumped from 1 relation to another. For the first month everything was good obviously we were in honeymoon phase but I was head over heels for him he wasn’t even average looking guy and neither he was treating me right (for the first month he did but after that he didnt) but i guess i was like this because he was the first guy i intimated with( my experience wasnt even good, so i wasnt head over heels for him for s*x, i never enjoyed in the first place and i regret doing it with him).
As i was so into him i neglected his red flags he used to insult my sibling and parents in front of his friends or housemates. I never stand that i fought back. I dont prefer fighting verbally or physically but for first 2 times i had lost my temper and said word back but after that i tried to make him understand calmly but nothing worked. Whenever i experienced mental breakdown and if i cry in front of him he used to get angry and ask me why i keep on crying everytime. He stopped asking me about my day, whether im doing good or not, nothing. I felt us drifting apart. I tried to make the relation normal again but he was clearly not interested. And he ghosted me. Obviously i tried to patchup but nothing changed.
It’s been a year we broke up, I dont have feelings for him instead i feel so raged. He left me and is now with another girl and I am here left with trust issues and insecurities. I am ambivert and i was cheerful. I don’t generally talk with unknown but when i do i befriend them but now i have become quiet. I also tried to date just so that i can stop thinking about how he treated me but i wasn’t able to dare to jump in and pour some trust. I have become negative. Sometimes I think I am better off alone but then i feel i deserve to have a healthy romantic love life (romantic as in the way 2 people in love care for eachother looks after eachother) but when it comes to trust someone I back off.
My concern is about what i am feeling? Am i being extra or is it normal? Can yall give me suggestions what should i do? I don’t like myself how i have become now.

Hello all, I JUST got engaged four days ago (yay me!) and am already very excited to start the planning process. However, my sister (and only sibling) and I have not been speaking for over a year now. In fact, our disagreement is related to my fiancé. She thinks he isn't "where he should be at in life", and brought up some concern over our age gap as well.
I haven't spoken to her much since this conversation, we have been civil in person at family events but have not talked beyond that. My view is that if she can't respect the person I have chosen to build my life with (we've been together 6 years), then she doesn't need to be a part of it.
With all that being said, at this point she is not on my invitation list, and so by extension neither are her husband or two children. We are looking at a two year lead time before the big day so obviously there is time for things to change, but I fear we may both be to stubborn for there to be much hope of that. Has anyone excluded a close family member like this before? How did you handle people asking about it/opinions on it? Our fall out isn't really public knowledge either so I feel there would be a lot of questions about why she wasn't invited and why her kids aren't slated to be the flower girl and ring bearer.
I'm anxious about causing drama by not inviting her, but she was so rude and belittling about my fiancé's career and financial status- honestly I was shocked that these were some of the bases of her issues, it felt shallow and out of character coming from her. Unless she apologizes to my fiancé, I really don't want her at an event that is meant to celebrate my fiancé and I as a couple.
(And if you are wondering- fiancé has very little debt and makes more than I do, even gets quarterly and annual bonuses which I do not, so its not like he's a mooch. Age gap is 15 years, but there has never been a power imbalance, he's never tried to isolate me from friends or family, and the rest of my family actually really like him. My sister is the only one with issues.)
Other potentially relevant context: Americans, western regions of US, fiancé and I plan on paying for everything ourselves.

So, I'm sure all of us have had to deal with hearing one of our favourite games in this series be disparaged at some point or have had to sit there and sigh at the headlines once more taking another hit of negativity. I've seen this a lot, especially since I like a good, i'd say, 98% of Sonic games that have been released that I have played.
So I thought it might be nice to do a thread dedicated to a bit of positivity. Honestly, this started out as an idea for a YouTube series but i'm not sure how well that would actually go so I figured just a reddit post for now is good enough.
​
Long story short, each sonic game you've played or know a lot about, all you got to do is say one genuinely nice thing you like about it whether you like it overall or not, so all of us can enjoy a little positivity about one of our favourite games. Even if its a little controversial, lets try to keep some positivity in the replies.
​
----
​
Sonic The Hedgehog (1991) - The most obvious thing of all, without this game we wouldn't have our blue blur in the first place, this is the game that has in some way or another brought us every other last thing we absolutely love in this series. It all started here and I will always love this game for that.
Sonic The Hedgehog 2 - In a rather similar vein to the first game, this game started the trend of adding characters to the series. While of course the character mania wouldn't set in until a while later, Tails set the stage for it, giving us one of the cutest kitsunes in gaming and ensuring, most likely, that one of your beloved characters could be made.
Sonic The Hedgehog 3 & Knuckles - The naming of Hyper Sonic has led to endless giggling for me imagining that the truth of the transformation has nothing do with the master emerald but Sonic downing too much Sugar before transforming.
Sonic R - Genuinely, Can You Feel The Sunshine, memes aside is just one of many great vocal tracks from this game that will not leave your mind when you hear it. Also, it technically gave us this, the greatest argument in favour of this game's existence: https://youtu.be/J-Z--O2GFcY?si=sR_RIaTpl5z_QBEz (I am going to try to make this the only OST based one)
Sonic The Fighters - Honey The Cat is freakin' adorable. That is all.
​
Sonic Adventure - Started giving us more explicit stories in Sonic games which would eventually lead to one of the best pieces of the entire sonic franchise later down the line, while also helping start to define the general playstyles people expect from characters other than sonic, not to mention the slow shift to extra Shonen vibes.
Sonic Adventure 2 - Gave us easily one of the most iconic rival characters in the entire series with a story that helped set a tone going forward that I feel like has always been there in the best stories of the games, that underlying hint of darkness (not edginess). (I could honestly make an entire essay topic on this with time).
Sonic Heroes - This is the game that personally got me into the franchise, the game I played on loop for hours at my grandmothers house, annoying my cousins by getting past the sections they couldn't and gaining crocodile based nightmares.
Shadow The Hedgehog - This game was rated 12, I was like 4. This game left an impression in me like the bullet that hit Maria, yet for all the over the top edginess and wild parts of the game, I genuinely just loved exploring the level settings as a kid, losing myself for hours just exploring around these maps and distracting myself from life. It also potentially gave me the ability to be able to look past the overt edginess of certain products and enjoy whats actually underneath more seriously no matter how unseriousness the edginess can make it feel.
Sonic Rush - BLAZE SIMPING BLAZE SIMPING BLAZE SIMPING- In all seriousness, I think anyone who had a DS has 'that game' that they'd play to oblivion no matter where they went to keep themselves happy and entertained. Sonic Rush was one of the two games that did that for me for close to a decade. It also did indeed introduce Blaze, starting my eventually descent into the curse of simping for Sonic girls.
​
Sonic 06 - ...How do I say this without getting set on fire... Elise simp? In all seriousness, I say with full sincerity: I personally think Elise was a good idea with bad execution. I really don't think there's anything wrong with the human/hedgehog part because its cartoony and unless you also have a problem with Roger and Jessica Rabbit, i just don't see much problem with the actual concept part. Unfortunately, there were issues that I won't cover to maintain positivity but I want to say this, the idea is sound and I am confident would be popular done right. Why do I say this? Because 'more serious princess to contrast Sonic who has some kind of connection to fire and a serious duty she cannot shake, eventually warming up with the help of Sonic' applies to both Blaze and Elise, so... I'm just saying, its not impossible. For those who want something else, this game did give a near-perfect portrayal of Shadow that I argue stands up to this day as one of the best portrayals of the character.
​
Sonic and The Secret Rings - While the storybook games gameplay is rather infamous for various reasons, there is one place that its only appropriate for 'The Storybook Saga' to excel and that is in its stories. Out of every single game on this list, I don't think any two games understand Sonic as a character better than Secret Rings and Black Knight, and they make stories that are charming, fun and genuinely suck me right in no matter how many times I watch them. I highly recommend if you haven't, just trying out any 'The Movie' videos on YouTube and watching Secret Rings like a TV Special Sonic cartoon. While its not the intended experience, it is a very good one.
Not to mention, this game introduced Shahra, who I would kill to have come back for more games. Having a companion Sonic can actually talk to, who can keep up (due to the ring) while being their own person and contrasting well personality wise gave such a genuine sense of charm and could even give more depth to Sonic's 'solo' adventuring. Yes, Tails could serve a similar role but Tails was a partner, a buddy who grew up out of the need to be under Sonic's protection in this era, meant to strike out on his own. Shahra feels just so perfect as a companion, soft and respectful, but conflicted and uncertain to contrast Sonic's Brash and Rude but self-assuredness and confidence in his core beliefs.
I could write an entire post solely about why the Hankerchief ending, cheesy as it is, is great beyond just being a good bookend with the start of the book. Plus there's things I haven't even mentioned like the way Darkspine is unlocked or Erazor Djinn being one of the best villains in the entire franchise.
Also, this game started the (console) trilogy of perfect ending songs with Worth A Chance.
​
Sonic And The Dark Brotherhood - True fact, this game was the first ever 'RPG' I played and I was kind of addicted to it. I still remember my go to team as a kid was Sonic (as mandatory), Amy, Shadow, Cream and I had this one chao I was in love with I cried over when my save was deleted who was a fiery type chao. For any faults, I love these characters, so genuinely, being able to just sit and talk to them at least somewhat as a kid, even in a system as simple as Brotherhood's, was something that genuinely gave me unparalleled levels of joy. I loved these characters as characters, so I absorbed every word I could get by talking to them.
Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity - The first ever racer I played, it became my go to game to play whenever I had other people around, since I didn't have many other games on the Wii to play and for a while it was the only console I had. I love the designs and vibe of the entire riders series but ZG is where that series had its best visual design I think. Also, I may have some bias, as I genuinely think ZG may be the first ever piece of media my brain properly digested the story of and remembered it, rather than just being distracting moving pictures in front of me.
Sonic Unleashed - Rather fittingly considering the original title of the game, Unleashed nails the feeling of there really being an entire WORLD around you, even if you are locked to segments of it, making it feel like there's so much around you still aren't seeing. It also gave us Night of The Werehog, some truly great designs, Professor Chad Pickle, the greatest opening cutscene in the entire franchise, a really good blend of the cheesier side and the darker side, keeping the fun tone from the characters while still acknowledging the planet is freakin' dying, and while Sonic Heroes introduced me to the series, Sonic Unleashed was the game that solidified me permanently as a Sonic fan for the long haul. And of course, Dear My Friend continues the console trilogy of perfect ending songs.
​
Sonic And The Black Knight - I saved writing about this one for last because I just know it's going to become the longest one here. I adore Black Knight, I really do. It took the good parts of Secret Rings and expanded on them while adding so much more at the same time.
A fun, well-written travelling companion that gets endless banter and snark out of Sonic? Check. Fun alternative takes on classic characters, fully embracing the idea rather than just dipping toes in the water while still respecting the originals? Check. A highly simp-worthy new humanoid character? Check. One of the best themed OST's in any piece of media ever? Big Check.
That's me delibrately doing my best to cut down on the stuff I can gush on, and there's still so much more I can still go over like how, if the Secret Rings portrayal of Sonic is nearly perfect, this portrayal IS perfect. I could put nearly any cutscene from that game in front of you, and give you an immediate idea of who Sonic is as a person... Which this game even explores in more detail than we normally get, putting his worldview up to the test of literally having him declare he's fine with being the villain to stay true to those beliefs.
Excalibur Sonic is easily the single most narratively earned and satisfying transformation out of any in the whole series, the entire game building on Sonic's world views and beliefs, testing him against this world's. Sonic holding fast and true every time, eventually being rewarded and gratified with the best reward possible within this universe.
However, if there is one thing I'd pick out that entire game, just one to say without doubt is the best thing, I'd say this cutscene, which I argue may be the single best cutscene in the entire franchise. If I was to distill everything good about Sonic into one scene, it would be this: https://youtu.be/fDsTdJvZ9Qc?si=bb3QV1bpcOXHfkHh
​
Sonic Colors - While not a game i'd personally want to go to anymore other than in a marathon, I do genuinely think this game works as a great introduction point for younger players to not overload them with the more intense parts of the other games, as long as you don't go straight into every other meta era game. Honestly, this game is really good as a break between the serious games, more than as a 'norm'. Also Reach For The Stars is still one of the most gorgeous opening songs in the series.
Sonic Generations - Personally I consider this the best game of the meta era and a great example of when the meta era writing could work just fine, because while writing wise it felt more childish than other games, it also feels more simple. Honestly, making the time eater a little less overly intense an idea, more of a time traveller than a time eater and it would work fine. Keep things simple, fun and unserious for a game that doesn't NEED to be serious, cause its an excuse to celebrate the past rather than tell an actual story which a lot of 'Dark Era' games did genuinely do.
Sonic Forces - While I could mention Fist Bump or cheat and mention the IDW comics coming off this game, which are both also positives, I'm not going to cheap out like that. Genuinely, this games story had potential that in the dark era would of been amazing to see play out and the idea of allowing for OC's was a really fun addition and in-joke for a game. The avatar's stages were interesting concepts and a good way to start pushing back to having other characters even if it didn't pan out in time, but more than anything... The OC system may actually of been the greatest thing for this era to bow out on. The Meta Era left after giving us the most meta-joke mechanic of all.
​
Sonic Frontiers - If we include Final Horizons I can't not mention one of the most Shonen final bosses in the entire series but even ignoring Final Horizon, Frontiers willingness to actually remember its past, the little details like remembering Sonic actually likes reading (Woo Storybook Saga!), just everything about Sage, the spectacle that is the Titans fights, and more than anything, the sheer love this game oozes for Sonic in general that just feels so nice to simply enjoy as someone who still really loves this dang hedgehog.
​
So... What about you?

I can't sleep again, every night I'm home I cry myself to sleep. It's only been 2 weeks since the love of my life, my happiness, my sweet Una left.
She'd been sick for a year, so many doctor visits, tests, drugs, even force feeding her, finally I agreed to surgery. I keep replaying that decision, hating myself for agreeing to let them cut her, before I could even say goodbye.
My biggest fear whenever I traveled was for something to happen and for me to not be there during Una's last hours, and the fact that I in fact chose for her to be alone, to not say goodbye. I asked them but they said I couldn't, it's not good to get them worked up before surgery, so I wasn't with her, i didn't say goodbye. I don't know if I can ever forgive myself. She was my world and now I don't know if she's OK, if she's alone, if she's safe, she was always so scared of everything, not knowing she's OK hurts me so much.
I try to go out with friends but I feel fake, I'm fake laughing, faking having a good time. At some point I become exhausted and find it hard to smile. I don't know if they notice but I don't bring it up, I'm afraid talking about my pain all the time isn't what they want to hear, I'm supposed to be trying to heal after all, but honestly I'm not sure I can ever heal because sometimes I don't even want to heal, I just want my Una back and I'm afraid healing would be to forget her. How can I do that?

This is an alcohol induced rant so be prepared. I accepted pretty young that I wasn’t going to be resurrected, at around twelve or so. (I wasn’t Pimo until sixteen and Pomo at eighteen) I’m not sure why, maybe it was just easier to accept nothingness than the eternal paradise. It feels natural to me that there will be nothing after death. As a now atheist it makes sense but it definitely didn’t while I was believing. I realized just now that I still have the thought in the back of my mind that others will be resurrected, especially when I think about my grandma. I’m sitting here wrapped up in a blanket that was hers and the thought of “when she comes back I hope someone tells her how much I appreciated and loved her” I’m not sure why I had this thought. Maybe it’s just instinct after years of thinking that way. Is this normal? Has anyone else felt this? My grandma was a hoarder,(though I always helped her keep it clean and organized it was filled to the brim with stuff) she went into a nursing home three years before she passed. My and my aunt spent weeks cleaning her home out. My aunt set some things aside for me, furniture, blankets, my personal favorite is a vintage lamp I’ve named Aphrodite. (It’s a rain lamp with a bronze nude woman it’s gorgeous) My grandma left me things because she knew I’d leave home asap, said it would continue her legacy etc. I still have contact with my believing aunt despite being disfellowshipped, she’ll say things like she can’t wait for grandma to see how much love and effort I’ve put into restoring her things. I moved into my first apartment of my own and it’s full of her things. It might be the drinking rebound but I just feel so weird. Every part of my heart wants my grandma to have a paradise my aunt my friends who have no disowned me for leaving I want them to have the paradise they want. But in my head I know that there’s nothing after. That grandma is gone, that we all die and there’s no hope. I’m fine with that I barely want the life I have now, but the people out there who are better than me deserve better than to rot into glorified potting soil.
Anyway rant over.

I have had to set boundaries with my cap a lot lately. Honestly I feel bad, and am afraid what if he can't take it anymore. I'm not trying to control him, but I do expect to be treated with a certain level of respect as a human being. I love him and I think we can work through everything, and come out stronger. I apologized for my part and promised to work on my communication, and he also apologized for hurting me. Should I give him space right now? How long should I wait before reaching out again?

I'm fairly new to Elite VR, I just started to mess with it and I'm pretty happy with the results, I've been able to play at pretty much fixed 72fps in space and dogfighting, which is mainly why I use VR, but fps dips below that in some scenarios(50ish), which has been a disappointment to be honest. I looked up every guide about performance in Elite and I think this is the best I'm going to get without upgrading my CPU, I run a R5 3600 with a RTX 4070 super, I know it isn't the most optimal pairing but that CPU has served me well for a few years now.
Anyway, I noticed in older posts how VR performance wasn't always like this. In the Horizons days, there were tales of glorious 120fps with supersampling all the way up, and I can't avoid to feel sad because it seems those days are over...is there any hope of these legendary days coming back?

I am F(23) soon to be 24. I graduated with a Business degree in the UK last year and the job market is bad. I can't get a high-skilled job, only worked in hospitality for minimum wage. Worse part is, I come from Eastern Europe, it cost me a lot to get education in the UK and I basically can't go back home for longer than a few months at the time because I would loose my visa-free status. However, I don't even like the UK, but even having a minimum wage job here raises my living standard than being back home. What hurts me a lot though, that whenever I come back home, it feels less and less as home. No one really seems to care when I come back in regards to my family and it hurts. I really love my mum, but she keeps shunning me away. It feels like she got used to living without me, since I've been gone for so long and is better off without me here. My father is a high-functioning alcoholic who was abusive towards us when we were younger and now I just feel such a big Pity for him and it hurts me to see his situation.
I was at uni during COVID and didn't make any good friends and I'm still healing from that, the friends I have back home have obviously found different friends and also moved away so I just feel lonely in both countries, because even though we're still in contact, I barely see them.
I found a boyfriend at uni, he loves me to bits, but it kills me because I am unsure if we are right for each other as he isn't there for me in a way I need him. It's my first relationship I've ever had and I do feel love towards him but he makes me feel lonely sometimes. Without him, I'd have completely no one in the UK so I'm afraid I'm with him because I am afraid to be alone. But I hope it's not that, he is 2 years younger than me and I know his childhood history and I can see why he behaves in a certain way and I still feel like with my help I can help him be more communicative. I don't want to lose him and I feel like a monster just thinking this way about him because he showed me unconditional love I've never experienced.
I just feel so lost, it feels like nothing gets better or is years away from being achieved. And I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. Just Now that I'm working I cannot seem to be able to find any new friends at all. I am constantly so lonely. It seems so pointless to me living this way.

Hi people of reddit, I've recently joined because my friend told me that reddit could get me help so I have come here to discuss about my mental health. These past few months way before 2024 I've been feeling like life has been eating away at me and it recently got worse. I used to be a very talkative person but recently ive been distancing myself from my friends and I dont know why, I haven't been eating and sleeping well and I always feel left out. I have great friends and they all try their best to support me so I have no problem with them but sometimes they do make me feel left out since all of them have their mine friends while Im just there incase anyone needs to talk, but no really listens or comforts me about my problems.
Then we have my family life, im the middle child and I kinda get ignored somehow but when im not ignored its for the bad reasons, I feel like all they notice is the bad stuff I do and none of the decent ones, my mom gets mad when im in my room all day but also gets mad when I go out, so im not quite sure what to do. She tells me to try new things but idk what else to try. I cycle, I play the guitar, I draw, I sing and I go to the gym.
Lately ive been feeling less and less social, im scared im not gonna be able to express my feelings soon so I'm doing this while I have the chance since I dont wanna end up dead because of this. Summer of 2023 we moved and that was a pretty big change because not only did I move cities I also changed schools I think it has something to do with my behaviour now. I want to cry so bad but nothing ever comes out, I seeked help and they said it might be passive suicide.
Thanks for listening any advice on how I can get my life back on track? Please.

MIL said baby doesn’t need me because I’m not breastfeeding.
This happened when my daughter was 1 month, she’s about 4 months now. My JNMIL came to visit when I was about 1 month postpartum. She lives about a 2 hour flight away. Ofcourse she did all your typical JNMIL stuff, but this one comment set me off the most. She “jokingly” said “I’m going to take DD back with me, she’s on formula, she doesn’t need her mother.” I was so taken aback by the comment that I just awkwardly laughed, but this comment messed with me so much especially being 1 month postpartum. I had complications after my C-section which made breastfeeding and pumping difficult and I already felt guilty about it.
I know this women is delulu and my baby is healthy and happy, and fed baby is best baby. But I can’t shake off the feeling I felt when she said this. I’m so frustrated at myself for not saying anything in the moment because she got away with saying it.
MIL is your typical selfish narcissistic. The way she makes her unwanted comments are so passive aggressive that it would look crazy if I were to confront her. It drives me nuts I feel as if I’m constantly micro disrespected. MIL basically treats me as an incubator and an unwanted accessory to her family. She takes DD daughter and won’t give her back to me even when she cries, eventually she will give her back to DH, but will never hand her to me. She refers to DD only as DH’s baby and will talk through my daughter and make more passive aggressive comments like “who will be the nice parent and to will be the meany” and then continues to say DH will be the nice parents and not be able to say no to DD, making me the “meany.” She will even go as far to say DD doesn’t recognize me even though she constantly cries in her arms but calms down in mine. She also has the audacity to refer to DD as “my baby” or “my youngest.”
MIL is coming to visit again in a couple months and I’m dreading it. It’s worse when she comes and visits us because she makes me feel unwelcome in my own home. I’m working on being more assertive for both my daughter and I, but it’s difficult when her comments are so sly and passive aggressive. DH has my back whenever he gets the chance, but again her comments are so sly and also said when he’s not around. She’s smart enough to know not to say/do anything outrageous so she can keep getting away with these sly comments. I Just needed to vent and get this off of my chest, I’m also open to any advice anyone may have on how to deal with someone like this. Going NC is not really an option for us, however I see her maybe 3/4 times a year and other than that im pretty LC with her.

Three days ago, my partner, his mother and I were on our way to his sister's house for her daughter's birthday. Just the night before my partner and I had an argument about kids. Nothing new lately, he wants one and we've been trying for few months now. Anyway I said we need to see a doctor, he believes that we're both healthy and young and if anything then we're doing something wrong, I was already exhausted from work and wanted to have some rest so I didn't argue much which only made him even more angry. I sat up and let him have his moment then slept.
Next day we didn't talk at all until I got back from work and we went to pick up his mother then go to his sister's place. I tried to start a conversation but he just kept nodding. Now with his mom with us in the car I tried my best to lighten the mood so she doesn't feel uncomfortable. 5 mins or so and out of nowhere he said "can you shut your mouth for a minute I don't want to hear your voice" his mother asked him what's wrong. All I said was "I know what's wrong with him" he stopped the car and yelled at me that since I know what's wrong then I for sure know what an immature bitch I am for starting a discussion with no intention to communicate. Mind you he was the one who started it and refused to lower his voice and sit down so we communicate like adults.
All this time his mother in the backseat just watching. (Growing up in a house where everyone yell to prove their point. I hate raised voices) and him screaming at me for an argument we had yesterday on our way to a birthday party we're supposed to enjoy. Made me lose it and snapped at him "can you stop fùcking screaming, can't we talk about this when we're back home" He grabbed my face and told me to never talk to him this way especially in front of his mother, to this moment she said nothing. His grip on my jaw kept getting worse with every word. He did this before but never used this much force. So to take his hand off me I tried to grab his wrist and push but ended up scratching him a little, I swear to God I didn't mean to, I just couldn't bear the pain and wanted him to let go. His mother suddenly decided to use her voice and started yelling at me for hurting him and she got out of the car and went to his side to check his wrist, I wanted to check his wrist too but was afraid of him losing it even more. He brushed it off and told his mom it was nothing and started the car again, back home he went straight to the guest room.
I decided to spend the next night at my parents house to decide what to do. My mother and his are friends. Anyway I didn't say anything but they told me later that night that his mother visited in the morning and told them about the fight. The thing is she told them we had an argument without mentioning how he started it and wouldn't stop with all the screaming and how he grabbed my face and only told them about me scratching him. Now my family lecturing me about how I should respect him and consider starting counseling (by family I mean my mother and little brother. My dad didn't say anything). I tell them how it went and try to show them the bruise on my jaw and they wouldn't listen because his mother can't possibly lie to them and the boy they watched growing up can't be this bad. But THE DAUGHTER THEY RAISED CAN LIE AND BE THIS BAD? for God's sake they know how I don't tolerate raised voices and avoid heated arguments at any cost but none listen to me now except for my big brother who's him and my soon to be ex are close friends.
What hurt me is instead for at least comfort me they are taking his side while they saw him raise his voice before and call his coworker names. Is it because my little brother brought his gf home and they gave her my room so she can be close to college and scared that if I break up with him I would come back to stay with them and ruin everything???
I have a stable job and can take care of myself just good. I want to go back to break up with him and pack my things but can't even look him in the eye now for what he put me in. He called and texted but like I said I don't even want to hear his voice.
He apologized for what he did in a few texts, I've been thinking about showing them to my family but I feel sad I need to do that so they support me emotionally. All my things are there and I never did this before because he's my first everything. I don't even know what to do now, I'm mad his mother LIED for him while my family didn't even listen to me. I'm thinking Fùck them all except my big brother.

(sorry for long post i have a lot going on)
hey i’ve been struggling with depression for 3 years now long story short my mom was very crappy and i’ve been SA and Raped all through middle school and 3rd grade. i’m going through a lot and i feel hopeless, im exhausted mentally and physically, i started failing in school sleeping in class, not doing any work because what’s the point. i went from an honor student and got sick for 2 week because of my depression and i just completely gave up.
i never wanted to admit i was depressed bc yk who does. i struggle to have an appetite and even when i force myself to eat I throw up which probably has to do with my ED but i’m still trying and i feel like nothing is working. i use to be 120 and now im currently 97 pounds, yes ik it’s bad. i do smoke mary jane and ofc that’s the only time i eat a lot but i don’t want to keep relying on mary. it got to the point where i could only eat until i smoked but i took a break from it and now im trying to do everything myself.
if you know any weight gaining pills or appetite anything please lmk.
another thing i struggle to poop because of my Gastroparesis and iron pills, i’ve done laxative but then im pooping for days and also tried stool softener which didn’t help so if you know anything please lmk. (tmi but some food doesn’t get digested all the way and still comes out kinda whole)
mom doesn’t care to help with depression and if im being honest im this way because of her she always put men above her kids and she treated me the most crappy and don’t take any of my depression seriously. she blames everything on me and like i think im going insane because i genuinely want to kill her. thats so bad to say but i do, i dreamed about it for two months straight. clearly i blame her for me getting raped because i tried to tell her even started acting out but nothing changed (am i insane?)
also i use to be very hyper sexual but now i dont crave sex at all (is that normal)
also i don’t get money from anything i do in the house (she won’t let me get a job or permit) so if you comment pills please consider the price.

Everyone's talking about how kyoko should become a part of route project and all.. but I dont care actually.. to us kyoko is our female lead but to them she's a rookie. Even in Japanese industry she's been in it for only a year. You can say kanae is same as her yet landed a lead role in it.. but somehow I feel they are not the same. Her time in US.. I see it as expanding horizons.. support for ren as his faces his past demons and for kanae.. as she acts in her first international movie.
I have been watching too much figure skating in YouTube these days.. I had this sudden rush.. what if kyoko's next role is figure skating.. what if it was a biopic. It would be protangonist role yet intense like her other roles.. passionate story about making dreams come true, not just a love story. Her image as a solid and badass actress...world wide Fame.. nothing to do with ren or his family. I would love it.

Hi all,
Can't remember the last time I posted here. I have had a lot of therapists for different things over the years, but there's always been a lot of shame about my MRA and incel adjacent past. It's still there a little bit despite having been in a long distance relationship for over 2 years now.
I am not sure exactly what feelings trigger it (well, quite often it's Facebook posts and acquaintances) but sometimes I will get a sporadic urge to Google stuff like "are women smarter than men", "do men have too much confidence", "am I treating my women like a therapist", "will women feel better and safer if I think of myself as a weak loser" etc. The algorithm has also fed me a lot of feminist and women's adjacent support groups, stuff from TwitteX, generally viral content. Lastly, my best friend has recently come out as a non-binary person and I came out as bicurious to my dad, which was has been quite a big change and meant that we have been talking a lot about gender, sexism, feminism and stuff. It's been good for our friendship, actually--but also has been very strange, since they lived abroad until 2019, and they only really started to think at length about politics a little before then. So I'd been down playing my engagement in MRA spaces for years, and the few times that my 'redpill rage' had come out had been, let's just say awkward and unpleasant for everyone.
I have always felt a weird mix of a feeling of pain or discomfort reading "ugh men" vents (such that it sets off my anxiety) and an inability to walk away from it unphased. Historically I used to argue with the positions (i.e. I was a debate bro), and eventually as with many guys in my situation, I ended up in the MRA and antifeminist spaces including TRP.
The support I got from men's spaces was, in fairness, mixed, not straightforwardly terrible. There are people who are antifeminist and support feminine men (in fact they are mainly against feminism for, in their mind, not being fully supportive of men's liberation) and there are people (mainly conservatives and traditionalists) who basically hate feminine men or men breaking gender roles *even more* than they hate feminists or women breaking them. In fact, to my surprise misogyny and embrace of queer and GNC men does not always have a strict correlation; some of my friends from this period were gay misogynists who did a self-consciously homoerotic MGTOW praxis. Despite this I was never quite comfortable, especially around the tradcons, and I felt like my egalitarian tendencies were policed so as to fit the political image of a good non-feminist.
At some point a few years ago I turned against the MRM and especially redpill. In my mind this is a famous turn, I know that sounds like Main Character Syndrome and it kind of is, but it feels fairly integral to my personal growth. It was near the end of this period that I started getting close to my now-partner, too. Generally 2020-2022 were painful but strangely remembered as a mostly *good* period of my life, and especially for my social media friendship network. (Yes, the lockdown, I know, it was strange)
The last year or so has felt slightly more stagnant. I've felt a bit better in the last month, but from, like, September-March or something I felt pretty low and frustrated that I wasn't making progress while people were growing and moving on without me.
A lot of people who I was sufficiently close to to not cut off question whether this turn (basically becoming self-conscious about my history and the dormant misogyny) was entirely healthy, as it seemed like at first I was downplaying my grievances with feminism in order to fit in with progressives as part of political organising. Later on it seemed as if my efforts to fit in had resulted in me internalising guilt *for* being a man, which was harmful since fitting in in such spaces failed. (I made more friends outside of activist communities than in)
I couldn't understand how critiques could be made without internalising it? Like, in my mind, if men were causing most of society's problems in virtue of our socialisation, then it would be on me to be less outspoken, more self-doubting, more agreeable and so on. I found myself becoming more of a female/femme supremacist, in fact. This was crazy to people who had known me as MGTOW, etc.
I realised that this interpretation of the vents might be a problem when I had boundary issues with a friend (close and online). He confessed to having a crush on me and asked me out, and it took around 2 months. During this time, he was sending me gay porn or romantic yaoi against my will, saying 'Us' and basically shipping us with the characters. I was advised that I had actually been sexually harassed and was absolutely entitled to be so blunt with him. Instead I felt partially a sense of affinity and pity for his loneliness (as he is lonely), and in part a guilt because he's in the closet irl. It felt like I had a duty as an LGBT ally to give him a space to express himself. We are still friends but the boundary issues are still there and it does frustrate me. Neither of us handled low contact very well.
As to my 'debate bro' tendencies--I shifted away from gender stuff and started studying philosophy for myself. However, this comes with more self-doubt spirals, which I seem prone to. Firstly, I've just lost the same confidence to discuss stuff as I had with men's and gender issues, since I'm painfully aware I'm a noob/student and have soooo much to learn. There aren't a lot of women I encounter into the topic (at least as amateurs--I have met and befriended or sought counsel from some wonderful retired professors) and I am not sure why. I could understand it in academia due to the discrimination, but why not online? Regardless, It's as if more people were interested in giving their take on relationship scenarios and general life stuff than this.
Secondly, I have a strangely *gendered* imposter syndrome. When I am offline I'm more grounded but when I've been reading and talking to myself for a while I start engaging in what I suppose is magical thinking, that the reason they (women) don't engage is because they are ahead of me, they already know it all and now it's boring to them. There is this persistent idea that women in general think I'm an idiotic manchild and I have to figure out how to change that because I feel chronically behind in everything I do. I extrapolate this from how smart and successful a lot of my fb girl friends are.
Sometimes it feels like not everyone has liked the personality changes I've gone through. After around half a year of being somebody I'd be casually DMing about stuff on the reg, one of my friends (again a femme-presenting/socialised non-binary person, they/she) suddenly U-turned. They decided they didn't want to hear my vents anymore and that I needed therapy for OCD and relationship problems (as I had vented to this friend about frustrations with my girlfriend and metamour, this being a poly LDR.) They did not cut me off entirely but they did stop engaging with a lot of my posts then (often ruminating.) This was difficult for me since this friend, she was one of the reasons I got out of the incel headspace in the first place, and I admit I had a crush on her for a while. It particularly hurt that she said that if I persist then she will expect payment as if a therapist, since to my mind this was basically somebody taking away my Normal Guy card and putting me back in incel state. In fairness, they seem to have decided to leave Facebook. But I still have some feeling of abandonment which keeps coming up in therapy. I hadn't really perceived that there had been underlying tensions about sharing stuff, and had thought our conversations were quite balanced and covered a lot of things. Naturally this led me to obsess and ruminate over emotional labour, which were only made worse when I came to this friend for support after being physically assaulted on my way home (they set the boundary before I actually got to share the story.) Fortunately my partner doesn't (as far as I know) feel like I expect too much or at least feels that I reciprocate.
The friend *did* recommend and refer me to an online OCD support group, and I have tried to engage with the recommended support group. It has been useful to some extent, particularly to encourage me to reconsider compulsive reassurance seeking--but it didn't really fully help with my feelings of e.g. assertiveness. I have felt that talk therapy would benefit me even if I would still need to work on reducing my *public* venting
My therapist (who is not primarily an OCD specialist). Her advice so far has been
i) That given what I had shared about my childhood experiences at home and in school, my thought patterns sound more like trauma than misogyny (I feel guilt whenever I feel or express anger at my mom though)
ii) That being disabled and neurodivergent, I technically have my own intersection which should be taken into account when hearing vents about men, patriarchy, male privilege etc.
iii) That social media generally, owing to the negative comparison behaviour, and *particularly* compulsively reading safe spaces, owing to the above points, might not be doing well for my mental health (at least not right now)
iv) That if anything we need to focus on my being MORE selfish and focussed on my own feelings, because I often either rationalise or start justifying how others treat me based upon their own issues and life context, which derails the session by giving e.g. my mum's, friends' life story, placing our conversations in social context of systemic power structures and so on.
I am really not sure how to handle that information, especially the stuff about trauma--i.e. that I might *not* be a closet misogynist even if I feel like it when I have the 'not all men' defensive reaction. I feel like a troll even sharing this. How do I know that the stuff which is exhausting me isn't just basic caregiving stuff women have been expected to do forever? etc.
What I do know is that my rumination is (as the friend who's withdrawn). The most noticeable symptom is just that it fuels social media addiction, which of course means that I either don't get to do my own hobbies (or studies) or that I socialise less. Which is obviously a problem considering you have to be proactive when dating in poly, and I want to build my social skills anyway. The second is that it's made me hypervigilant to doing 'selfish' things. I have not stopped exercising entirely, but I have been unable to keep up with the gym/strength training as it's time consuming to get to the gym. My girlfriend is aware of my people pleasing tendencies, but I still feel like I'm being a bad partner when I'm unavailable for dates because I'm outside. But I also feel ashamed that I'm inconsistent with training; I am not out of shape by general health standards, but I am by instagram fitness culture. This sets off yet another rumination, since I've followed a lot of athletes and influencers, that the fact I don't look like them but instead waste my time on social media debate *is* because I'm stupid, and that my insecurity about this is its own kind of misogyny, etc.
Thanks to everyone who read all of that. Not sure how to tl;dr but the essence is I';m not sure what to make of my therapist's advice, really. It seems to contradict the zeitgeist, and discussing it anywhere except *in* therapy seems to enable sexist trolls and just generally be a shitty thing to do. But...I can't afford this forever, heh
​

Hello, I hope this finds you well and in recovery. I reached absolute rock bottom in February. It was then that I knew I couldn't beat this addiction on my own and soon began attending meetings every week, usually 2 a week. This definitely helped a great deal and I have been over 30 days without any inner circle behavior. I got in touch with a sponsor in April. To be perfectly honest, I haven't really been feeling great with this sponsor. To begin with, I didn't have a great first impression of him to be honest. I wrote a message to him when I first got his contact info from an SAA site and he just sort of commanded me to call him, no introductions or anything. More to the point though, he comes off as very rigid yet really (too) fast in his approach to the program. For example, we basically didn't even talk about steps 1 or 2, which to be fair I was kind of already through them but what do I know I'm new to this, and then on our first call he said I finished step 3 after he told me to get on my knees and submit to God. He opened out first call by saying hes walked people through the program in just a few weeks before, which seems really quick but again this is something I wouldn't know. He also is really hardcore about God "owning" me which while I understand step 3 and giving your will to God seems like again a very rigid and hardline way to understand things. It's not my worldview about God. Also, my sponsor kind of talks a lot about his backround, which while helpful sometimes, it kind of feels like I spend most of the time hearing from him rather than working through the steps with him. Finally, the way we work through the steps feels convoluted and confusing even after I ask questions. Overall, I don't feel great every time I work with him, sometimes I feel worse. Is this how sponsorship is supposed to be? Would I be justified in finding a new sponsor? Please let me know and provide any other feedback or insight. Thank you.

okay this is a long story so buckle up.
me and this girl went to elementary school together and we didn’t become good friends until middle school. i was in quarantine in the 6th grade but in the 7th grade was when i met him aka her ex.
i remember wanting to be friends with him and ended up becoming real good friends with him. we ended up liking each other and dating each other but for 9 hours. i broke up with him bc i got scared of having a boyfriend since he was my very first boyfriend and i was very insecure at the time. so i was trying to save him trouble of my insecure ass.
so then 8th grade rolls around and my best friend starts to like him. i felt a sense of jealousy but i wasn’t like super jealous, it was js like oh damn type jealousy.
i ended up setting them up with each other and they started dating. i then ended up dating his best friend so i didn’t worry about him. but we would still talk to each other since we were all really good friends. he would always go to me for advice abt my bsf and i obviously gave it to him bc i wanted to be a good friend.
so time goes by and eventually he breaks up wit her. now obviously they were still my friends so i was there for both of them. my bsf ends up dating someone else after a month and he was working on himself. but then my boyfriend at the time had beef with him and got extremely angry every time we talked. he would always say how i’m trying to cheat on him with him and how much of a hoe i was etc. so then i didn’t talk to him for a while.
but after a while we started talking again since my bf was talking to him.
then over the summer, they had major beef which caused me not to talk to him again.
then 9th grade comes around and me and my bf were not together after a few weeks after the first day. my bsf ex was in one of my classes and we started talking a lot in that class along with other people. i then started to realize i still liked him but i thought i was js going through a phase.
but then the feelings grew stronger and stronger as time went on but i was very discreet abt it. i always felt a tension between us but i never acted or spoke up abt it bc i didn’t want to embarrass myself in case it was js me feeling it.
he then started dating other people which made me feel a sense of jealousy, but i could never talk abt it. he now has a girlfriend and she’s beautiful. i still hype him about his gf’s so he doesn’t see the jealousy i feel and i never talk abt him with my bsf for the sake of seeming weird.
he’s still my best friend but my heart keeps telling me he should be more than that.
am i a asshole for that?

My kid is almost 4. She was a very challenging 2 year old with a lot of very aggressive tantrums and constant defiance, but as soon as she turned 3 it was like we had weathered the storm and she’s been pretty great ever since. Lately, she’s regressing back into tantrums and aggressive behavior and I just don’t think I can take it anymore. Tonight I wouldn’t let her wear a pull up to bed, and she completely lost her shit. For the next 30 minutes, she was kicking, hitting, punching, and pinching me, HARD. I tried telling her no, that it’s not ok, that she’s not being safe, that it hurts me. I tried saying “I have to walk away because you are hurting me,” but she just followed me screaming and throwing toys. I did this 4 times. I tried holding her in my lap rocking her to keep her from hitting me, and she just screamed and struggled until I let her go because I started feeling like I was being abusive by restraining her. I tried just moving her body off of mine every single time she hit or kick me, picking her up and placing her back in bed, but she just kept coming back. I even just laid face down completely ignoring her, and she was relentless. I literally just started crying at this point, saying “I have no idea what to do.” I’m a single parent, so there’s no backup. When she finally calmed down, I said “I don’t like when you hit and kick me, it hurts my body and isn’t safe.” She apologized, and then said “I don’t like when you push and grab me.” I just feel like the absolute fucking worst piece of shit mom ever. I said sorry for pushing her off of me, but that I was just trying to keep me and her safe. Why is she so extreme? What am I supposed to do? I’ve never read any parenting advice that actually helps. I definitely don’t want to respond physically, and I feel sick to my stomach about trying to hold her and move her off of me, but I don’t feel like ignoring her helps either. I just feel so guilty and angry and scared that somethings wrong with her or that I’m ruining her life or doing something wrong and that’s why she’s so violent all of a sudden.