I am struggling like crazy to figure out our kitchen layout given the room. I sketched up the layout though I didn't do a great job and nothing is remotely to scale. The angled walls are more useless in person than it appears in the sketch (they are only 40" so they are quite smaller than my sketch makes it seem). I realize most people will say I just can't have all the things on my list but I'll include a list of what I'm looking for anyways:
-Ideally fridge in the kitchen (my mom insists I should put it in the pantry), 36" counter depth -Stove not in an island/peninsula so we can have a vented hood (because of this bonus points if it's on the wall with the window as that's an exterior wall), 30" range/oven combo, leaning towards induction -36" farm sink, not willing to move this, it's currently under the window -24" dishwasher, currently left of sink but I don't mind moving it to the right -Eat-in kitchen, 2-3 stools -Trying to maximize counter space as much as possible. We cook a lot and I also bake a lot so I use all the counter space frequently -We are doing renovations that add that pantry space which should help a ton. Plan is to have one or two full height pantry cabinets in there and some counters to put all of our (many) countertop appliances on so none of these will take up precious counter space in the kitchen.
If it matters, the door next to the angled walls leads to our backyard, the doorway at the bottom wall leads to our dining room/living room, and the doorway on the left wall leads to our laundry room. I originally wrote down that the doorway to the pantry cannot move, but it turns out it might be able to be adjusted but I honestly don't think that helps at all.
I can show sketches of some ideas I have but I'm not really in love with any of them so hoping someone can help me with a fresh take!

Has HP Instant ink. The Envy 5530 is an attractive MFP. It’s has a glossy black-and-silver exterior, and on the angled front-panel is 2.65-inch color touchscreen display, where all the functions are accessible. Underneath is a drop-down panel that exposes the paper tray and a swing-out paper output support. The paper tray has a capacity of 100 sheets, which is rather small but should be sufficient for most home users; the output tray supports 30 pages. Supports automatic duplexing. Software CD included.

My hands are shaking as I write this, I have to document my story incase something happens to me in the next few days. I'm not sure where to begin but I suppose here is better than anywhere.
I've always had this weird feeling, this sensation inside of me that I was older than I actually was. By the time I was twelve, my soul felt as though it was forty. By the time I reached twenty, I felt like an old woman. I would watch people around my age acting foolish, and I always thought, "What a bunch of children." So it was no surprise to anyone that when I turned twenty-one, I left my hometown and college and decided to spend the summer alone by renting an old farmhouse in an insignificant town on the edge of an even more insignificant border.
When I told my mother, she had a veritable fit, unable to find the words. She spluttered and raged around me for days before I finally left early one morning to avoid her guilt and frustration with my choices. I was not sure why I craved solitude at such a young age, why I found solace in being alone and removed from society.
In high school, I had changed unexpectedly, cutting my long blonde hair short and dying it black, getting piercings that my mother loathed and claimed no young lady should have. You see, my mother was raised proper, as she called it. Good family, good husband, and finally a good life. She despised her perfect life being squashed by my alternative looks and feelings of the same world. She just didn't understand me or the world as it changed around her. I felt like I was just a trophy to her and my father, her perfect angel who had been tainted by my own demented thoughts.
I never told my parents where I was staying, one last rebellious mission before leaving for a few months, and it took me only a few hours to arrive at the farmhouse where I would be staying for the next few months. The land around the farm was dead or dying, old crops rose out of the dry dusty earth and had turned black and forgotten, as if this land was the example of dreams long forgotten and empty. A single dreary lane connected this desolate farmhouse to the rest of the world. On the outside, it was drab and looked as though it would fall apart. It had two stories but still seemed cramped and small, as if it were a single floor tied to the ground.
Across from the house, bordering the tall weeds that had reclaimed much of the farmland, stood a maudlin-looking faded red barn, one door propped open in a dejected manner revealing naught to me but shadows, dust, and a little mystery.
Next to the barn, staked into the ground on an old-looking cross, was a ragged scarecrow. It had drab brown clothing, but its face was oddly realistic, like it was watching me with a disapproving manner. Straw poked through its joints at odd angles like they were trying to break free from their confines. The scarecrow obviously didn't do its job as it was covered in no less than three crows.
I parked my car next to the barn and stepped out into the dusty yard before the farmhouse that I would make my home for the next few months. I checked under the front mat for the key and put it in the lock.
With a satisfying click, the door fell inward into the farmhouse. Surprisingly, the inside of the farmhouse was modern, clean, and looked quite inviting. I could smell the fresh paint on the walls, and everything was so white. The realtor had told me she would stop by tomorrow to collect the rent, and she had tried to chat my ear off on the phone about all the renovations she and her son were doing on the place.
I sighed with contentment and tossed my bags beside the door. I dug around in my bag and removed my camera, my father's old film shooter as he called it. I had taken up the hobby years ago for what I called capturing the oddity in the world.
I explored the small house a little more; the ground floor consisted of a single room and small bathroom with a shower. The bedroom was upstairs and was the only room, the stairs connected directly to the white and pink monstrosity that was the master bedroom. The pillows had laces on them and almost made me gag from the cuteness. There was even cute white lace curtains on the window with little flowers stitched onto them.
Out of the only window of the room, I could see the barn and the scarecrow. I aimed my camera at the pair and snapped a photo. From this angle, the scarecrow appeared to be staring straight at me. It stood next to the left side of the barn in a dejected manner like a chastised child.
A shudder involuntarily ran through me at the sight, but I moved on back downstairs. It was getting close to dinner time now, and I had brought some food with me.
After a few minutes, I had my dinner on the stove cooking and the crickets chirping outside the open window. As I sat down to eat next to the window, I felt at peace for one of the first times in years. The solitude of this old farm was exactly what I needed. The window supplied a nice breeze that wafted through the place, it smelled of grass and warm summer nights, made me feel at peace. The simple dish of spaghetti with tomato sauce and a glass of wine was all that I needed right here, right now in this moment.
That night I climbed into the frilly laced bed and sunk into the claustrophobic mattress. I felt like Goldilocks in the mama bear's bed as it was altogether too soft. From my perfumed bed, I had a good view out the window. I had left the porch light on, and it cast an eerie glow across the yard. The barn loomed ominously, stalwart against the light of the porch, like it was protecting the shadows from the battering ram of light. The somber scarecrow leaned against the left side of the barn.
With a small jump, I thought I saw its arm move slightly. I peered through my camera using the zoom to get a better view of the scarecrow. It was completely still in the night, and I laughed quietly to myself at my silliness. I had always enjoyed horror movies, but there was no chance I was living in one. I settled back into bed and put my camera down. Within a few minutes, I fell into sleep's warm embrace.
What felt like only a few minutes later, I sat up in bed. It was still dark out, I could hear crickets chirping through the open window, and I strained my ears for a moment.
I thought something had woken me up. I felt a cold shiver run down my spine as a cold breeze wafted in through the window. I pulled the frilly blanket up around myself when I heard it. A thud sounded below me, shaking the whole world into silence. The crickets stopped chirping, and my heart felt like it had stopped beating. Someone was in the house. I hadn't locked the door or closed the kitchen window, and now someone was downstairs. A second thud sounded like a boot on the staircase. Then another and another as something was slowly moving up the stairs towards the room.
I don't know why I did it, but something came over me. I wasn't big or especially brave, but my normal cowardice in social situations changed instantly. With a dash, I tore across the room, flicking on the lights, ready to face my attacker, to defend myself against male or female. I would fight, and I would win.
But as the lights turned on, ready to strike with my foot, nothing was there. The staircase was empty, and upon further inspection, the entire house was empty. The kitchen window was open, and I shut and locked it securely before checking the door. Nothing. I sat down on the couch, my heart pounding out of my chest, as I tried to make sense of what had just happened.
"I must have still been half-asleep," I said aloud to the room in a thinly veiled attempt to calm my nerves. It failed horribly, but I went with it. What else could you do in a situation like that?
After locking up the house, I went back up to that frilly four-poster bed in the bedroom and stared out the window. Nothing was in the yard except my car, the barn, and the same old sad-looking scarecrow staring across the yard.
Day 2
The next morning, I woke up to the soft light filtering through the lace curtains. Despite the strange events of the previous night, I felt strangely refreshed, as if the morning sun had chased away the shadows that lingered in my mind.
I descended the stairs, the wooden steps creaking softly under my weight, and headed to the kitchen. As I brewed a pot of coffee, my mind wandered back to the events of last night. Was it just a figment of my imagination, or was there really someone in the house?
Shaking off the unease, I decided to explore the farmhouse in the daylight. I wandered through the room, admiring the modern renovations that clashed with the rustic exterior. The farmhouse had a charm to it, despite its eerie surroundings.
As I made my way outside, the cool morning air greeted me, and I took a deep breath, letting the serenity of the countryside wash over me. The barn stood tall against the backdrop of the morning sky, and the scarecrow seemed to watch me as I crossed the yard.
I approached the barn, curiosity getting the better of me. Pushing open the creaky door, I stepped inside, the musty scent of hay filling my nostrils. The interior was dimly lit, the sunlight filtering through the cracks in the wooden walls.
I explored every nook and cranny of the barn, but found nothing out of the ordinary. As I turned to leave, something caught my eye. In the corner of the barn, hidden beneath a pile of old blankets, was a small wooden chest.
My heart racing with anticipation, I lifted the lid of the trunk and peered inside. What I found took my breath away. It was a collection of old photographs, yellowed with age, depicting scenes from a bygone era. They were of a man with his family, two young kids, and a beautiful young wife. The man had yellow blonde hair, almost like straw in texture, but he smiled so happily with his family.
I sifted through the photographs, my fingers trembling with excitement. Who had left these behind, and why? Each photograph seemed to tell a story, a glimpse into the past of this forgotten farmhouse.
As I sat there, lost in thought, a sudden noise jolted me back to reality. It was the sound of footsteps coming from outside the barn.
"Hello?" The dreamy voice of a woman called to me from the entrance to the barn.
I slammed the lid of the trunk shut, closing the memories up in a flurry as I spun around to be greeted by a quite pretty woman with blonde hair and a pink suit skirt combo. She had bright pink lipstick, that seemed to be a permanent fixture on her face, and quite shiny and sparkly blue eye shadow on her lids. I myself only wore black eyeliner. This woman was like Barbie in her proportions, thin waist, long hair, and large tracts of land, as my father would have said.
"Oh, hello," I said simply, always awkward in normal social situations.
If she noticed anything odd about me, she breezed over it in an easy manner. Taking me by the shoulders, she led me out of the dusty barn and into the yard.
"You must be Polly. We have been waiting a while for you to come. I simply must know what you think of the renovations to the house. Aren’t they just to die for?" The lady said all in one breath, as if she didn’t need air to speak.
"Yes, they are quite nice..." I started before she cut me off, not in a rude manner but instead in one that she would have continued on even if I had just told her I was not Polly and instead I was a mass murderer looking for my next victim.
"You see, me and my son Eli—yes, Eli, you stop lurking in the shadows over there," she said, continuing on as I noticed a younger man leaning up against the barn. He wore simple clothes of jeans and a white t-shirt but had a handsome face. His hair was brown and hung slightly over his eyes.
"I hope you don’t mind if my son here continues working on some renovations while you stay here? Strictly on the outside of the house, mind you. A fresh coat of white paint would make this little beauty shine. We would have finished by now if not for the accidents," she continued, completely unabashed by my silence.
"Sorry. But you are the realtor?" I said, trying to regain my feet under me.
"Oh my god, I am so sorry, dear!" she said with an affable cackle.
"Yes, yes, I am Barbara, but all my friends call me Barb. That over there is Eli. Eli, come say hi," Barb said while her painted talons rested firmly on my shoulder.
Eli stomped over, keeping his eyes low, in a sort of moody way that actually intrigued me, sort of.
When he glanced up at me, I noticed he drank in me from head to toe, and for the first time, I realized what I was wearing. An old rock t-shirt of one of my favorite bands and, of all things, my black pajama bottoms with cartoon bats on them that said "happy halloween."
I felt my face blush crimson as he made eye contact with me. He had very mysterious eyes of blue that seemed to cut right through my soul.
"Nice shirt," he said while gesturing to me. His voice was quiet and uncertain, as if he didn’t get much practice with the art. Knowing his mother, it seemed highly accurate.
"Thanks. Do you like them?" I asked.
"Oh, he likes all sorts of things, don’t you, Eli? Honestly, you two can gab on forever. But miss, I believe we have a small matter of payment," Barb said, drawing the conversation back to herself.
"Of course. Let me go get it," I said as I went back into the house and retrieved the envelope with the rent money in it.
Barb grabbed the envelope in her bright pink talons and snapped a piece of bubblegum between her teeth. With quick fingers, she leafed through the cash, counting it. As she counted, her normal bubbly personality seemed to disappear, giving way to what I gleaned was her true thoughts and feelings before the facade slipped on once again.
"Mmkay, perfect honey, this is the right amount. Now you have my number, so you call if you need anything. Like I said earlier, Eli will stop by from time to time to work on painting the house. I promise you he won’t be an imposition, just pay him no mind," Barb said in a sweet voice as she popped her gum in between each word.
"Eli, come on, please, I have an appointment in town," Barb said to her son, and they both climbed into a garish pink convertible with jewels hanging from the mirror wrapped in a gold chain.
Barb waved one last time as she sped off out of the driveway, covering me in dust as she spun the wheel around.
With their departure, I went inside and retrieved my camera. I spent a few minutes shooting a few pictures I thought were worthy. I re-entered the barn and pulled the old trunk out into the sunshine. Inside was only a handful of photos, some old clothes, and what looked like some old heirlooms. A beautifully old candlestick and a few leather-bound books lay at the bottom, covered by an old tablecloth. The tablecloth was a nice white with intricate swirling patterns inlaid around the edges.
Why would these things be packed away in here? They were so beautiful. I decided to bring the stuff inside for further inspection. As I lifted the trunk, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw something move in the tall grass at the edge of the property. I stared for a minute, but nothing moved again. I must be getting jumpy being alone like this. After last night and then this, I was just imagining things.
I brought the items inside and spread them out. I put the tablecloth on the table, and it hung low to the ground. I placed the candlestick by the window and took out the photos again, spreading them out.
The photos told me a story of a loving family that obviously lived in the farmhouse before me. They had a photo next to the barn, with a brand new looking scarecrow in the back. The man even had his arm around it; it looked so much cleaner and proper in this photo. I stared outside at the sad-looking scarecrow.
I took my camera and the photo and went outside to stand next to the scarecrow. His post hung kind of crooked in the earth like it was weighed down by the scarecrow.
I snapped a photo of the scarecrow as it was, then examined the original photo. I began resettling the post in the ground, but it kept sagging. I decided to pull him out of the ground and move him while I added more dirt to his hole. With some effort, I reseated him into his original hole. He already looked better, but I straightened his clothes and pulled out the last bits of straw that stuck out of his clothes. When I was finished, I looked back at him and took a photo, smiling while I did so at my work.
I then spent some time sweeping the front porch and banging the dust out of the cushions before I curled up on a wicker chair with plump cushions for a few hours reading a book I had brought with me.
I felt quite content at this place. The sounds of the crickets began again, putting me at ease as the sun began to descend. I had spent the entire day just relaxing, and it was perfect. I sat sprawled out in the chair, too lazy to go and make dinner or even move. My bladder was full, but I waited until the last moment before dashing inside and relieving myself.
That's when I noticed it, out in the yard. It seemed as if the scarecrow had moved closer. Once shrouded by the barn slightly, it now had moved a few steps into the light from the porch. My heart dropped at the sight. Not again, I must be asleep on the porch in the chair. I pinched myself, trying to wake up, but all I received was a sore arm.
I closed my eyes, then rubbed them, hoping to dispel whatever plagued my mind, but when I opened my eyes, I noticed the scarecrow was even closer. Halfway across the yard now, it sat menacingly, hanging crooked in the dirt. The scarecrow seemed to be staring at me with an intense gaze. The slits in its face were open now, and in the porch light, I swear I could see human eyes underneath the mask.
I moved towards the front door, locking it in a swift motion. I was shaking now, and it took me a minute to relax. I never took my eyes off the scarecrow for fear of it moving again.
My cellphone was upstairs, so I couldn't flee without the scarecrow moving again. I breathed out slightly and unlocked the door, letting it swing in with a creak. The night outside was silent, as if everything was holding its breath. The usual crickets that plagued me with their song day and night had fallen quiet. I stepped out onto the porch; I needed to go confront this demonic entity. Something about this still made me think this was a prank.
"Eli, is that you?" I called out to the scarecrow.
No response, of course. I steeled myself and put one foot off the porch, never taking my eyes off the scarecrow before me. Something seemed to be dripping from its head as I approached, a dark slime that seemed to be melting from its joints as it stood there silently, except for the constant drip of the liquid on the dry dirt before me.
I walked around the scarecrow, determined to figure out what was going on. As I circled it, my vision darkened for a moment as I faced towards the light of the house. I jumped as the scarecrow's head turned to face me as I looked away. The black liquid drained faster from the being, forming a shallow pool at its feet.
I'm not proud of what I did next, but I fled, taking my eyes off the scarecrow. I made a mad dash for the farmhouse. Behind me, I could hear the pounding of feet. I screamed as loud as my lungs would let me. My voice rang through the silence as I grabbed the door handle and wrenched open the door as I felt a strong grip fall on my shoulder.
I turned to defend myself, but nothing was there. The scarecrow was gone, the wooden cross had vanished, as had the pool of dark liquid in the dirt. The world sprung back to life; the crickets began chirping loudly, and my heart restarted. I slammed the door, and the air from my force scattered the photographs on the table. I ran upstairs, leaving the lights on in the house, and dove onto the bed, wrapping myself in the frilly blanket like a set of frilly armor.
I snatched my camera from the bedside table and held it close, determined to document the rest of the night. I held it in shaking hands as the noise downstairs began—the sound of boots crossing the floor to the stairs and the careful but heavy steps of ascension as they climbed closer and closer to me.
This time, I didn't lunge forward as the light was already on. I glanced out the window, but the scarecrow was still gone. I focused my camera on the stairs and waited as the steps came closer and closer. A shape began to form as the head of whatever was coming up the stairs crested the floor. Then a plain brown mask with slits where the eyes would be. It froze for a moment, then slowly turned its head towards me. Inside the slits were human eyes that seemed to be leaking dark red blood.
In the light, I could see it now. I snapped a photo of the beast, the flash setting off a reaction in the beast. The scarecrow moved so fast up the stairs it was a blur. My scream echoed throughout the house as it lunged at me. Filthy hands pinned me down, and the deep crimson liquid began pouring out of every joint of the scarecrow. It began covering my face, my eyes, and getting into my open mouth. I spluttered and kicked at the beast, but my blows had no purchase, as if the scarecrow on top of me had no substance to itself.
I coughed and spluttered on the liquid as it began to fill my mouth faster and faster. I tried not to swallow any, but it tried to find purchase as I was held down.
"Polly?" A nervous voice called from below.
Suddenly, as if the angels had called, the pressure dissipated, and I crashed to the floor in a heap, trying to spit the blood out, but nothing came—it was gone. Footsteps pounded up the stairs again, and I flew back in fear, closing my eyes.
"Oh my god. Polly, are you okay?" A voice said, and gentle hands grabbed my arm.
My eyes shot open at the human touch, and I grabbed Eli into a tight hug, where I promptly began sobbing in fear, my whole body shaking as Eli awkwardly hugged me.
"Don't worry, it's going to be okay," Eli said patiently to me as he hugged me back gently and began stroking my back.
I shivered in a choking sob and fell into his arms, desperately wanting to believe him, and for some reason, I did.

Mother 1 (Music Video) - Te/Mo
I'm still relatively early in my career, though I have been fortunate enough to find myself in a point where 80% of my time on set is as the DoP.
Camera - RED Raptor VV / Sony FX3 / Sony VX1000 (DV Cam) Lenses - Blazar Remus 1.5x Anamorphics (Amber Flare)
LIGHTING: We primarily lit through windows using an Aputure 1200d through a Spotlight max diffused with opal to maintain some directionality but still get a 'direct sunlit look. We used a pair of Nova 300s for fill and background when needed and Titan Tubes for fluorescent accents here & there. In general we were aiming for a natural low angle sun look to really drive home the 'growing up nostalgia'.
SUPPORT: We used a Dana Dolly & DJI Ronin 2/RS2 depending on the setting or attention we were willing to attract. There were a few notable unique rigging setups.

• Cold Open Snorri: For the tracked walking sequence at the opening, we rigged a 40" arm to the RS2 with a pair of cardellinis braced with a 20"arm. On the 40" arm we used two grip heads to make a pocket for her armpit to rest so we could get a consistent distance while still keeping a fairly stable 'snorricam' sort of look.
• Rolling Chair: The Doctor's chair wheel was simply a few extension arms mounting the Dana Dolly to the chair to maintain a consistent framing, then we simply moved at the same pace as the doctor's walking.
• Bare Feet (Doctor's Office): For the slomo walk into the light in the doctors office, we were limited by both time and space. So I threw a pancake on a number of spare 15mm rails and set the Raptor on the pancake, which gave us a near ground angle and just enough travel to match our exterior walking through the charcoal shot.

GLITCHY DV FOOTAGE: To offload the DV camera footage we had a gangle of adaptors and cables going from the camera to OBS. During playback I would watch the feed, and for each good take I rewound to the beginning a few times and loosened the analog video cable just enough that a little jiggle would cause the feed to cut in and out in the way only analog can.
SUCCESSES: This was a long shoot as far as Music Videos go, I don't think enough producers/DPs talk about logistics and scheduling. This job is a lot more managerial than I think younger creators realize, and the best ones i've ever met are masters of time management and communication with their team. Personally I am a big proponent of sub 10 hour days; in my experience once you cross that 10th hour mark, crew moral drops and mistakes pile up. Ultimately I've found it ends up costing more, and the final product suffers. We were really proud of completing our three days of principle photography each under 10 hours, with exception of load out for the final day. We did this by putting weeks into the pre-vis: by the time we got to set, we had the entire piece pretty much timed to the second. Of course there were changes in post, but we knew what we needed at each step.
OBSTACLES: Our biggest challenge was *surprise* working with children. In order to stay within Illinois labor laws and union standards (though this was not a union production), we had to be really intentional with our time with them on set. Especially when it came to the home video footage. We knew we wanted it to feel as authentic as possible, and as such we couldn't plan actions with the kids. So instead, we scheduled blocks of time and lit for the room and just let the artist and them play while chasing them with the DV cam handheld.
WHAT WE COULD HAVE DONE BETTER: I personally feel my compositions at times get a bit too repetitive. So often I end up in the same 3/4 or closeup on the subject and don't often enough look at details within the scene that could help tell the story. Additionally I regret using the Ronin 2 with the Raptor on several of the singing scenes simply due to our support and crew limitations. It is an incredible tool, but its size and weight severely limited mobility. While there are some that could manhandle it, even with an easy rig I personally felt it would have worked far better had we been able to mount it to even a rudimentary jib and operate with the wireless controller. But on our biggest days, the G&E + Cam department only totaled 5 people including myself. So future productions with that size crew and budget I would have forgone the additional DR of the larger body for the more nimble, solo operator option.
As an AMAB was touched and honored to be entrusted with helping this musician bring this project to life, and hope I did it justice.
TL:DR Would love to hear your thoughts, critiques, and criticisms to help me continue to grow.

"Great days and glorious victory! My name is Spifflemonk and welcome to my Letsplay! Today I am back from my medically mandated break from playing human videogames after a rather... cathartic experience with a game called Teardown. Subnautica, even among humans, is labeled as a notorious experience with... mixed reception for its sequel. A survival crafting game apparently. I have experience with those so presumably the gameplay loop should be predictable enough. So... Let's go in!"
Spiffle starts the game, going for standard Survival Mode, with aspects of food and water mechanics alongside health and oxygen. The game loads very, very fast with Spiffles overpowered computer, and the introduction sequence begins. The camera pans to the panicked sight of the payer character moving down a ladder followed by a sight of a starship above exploding.
"Oh dear... oh dear! They weren't kidding about survival! Do I even survive this or am I a ghost or something..."
The pod rattles, the screen shakes, a fire extinguisher falls from its mounting. Velocity causes the pod to dislodge a panel from a wall and it flies around the cabin. The panel flies into the player's screen, making it go black.
"Oh... well okay then. I uh... well."
Spiffles' character awakens and panics at the buttons securing him to the seat. Spiffle quickly figures out that fire in this game is in fact bad, and grabs the fire extinguisher, putting the fire out. The game's introduction plays, showing his PDA, the game's inventory UI.
"Oh! I have seen these things in real life when visiting human stations! Do all humans have these?"
Spiffle starts exploring the escape pod, noting all of the damage to the radio beacon and the wiring panel.
"Hmm... craft the repair tool... Well... For later I suppose. Now how do i-AH, the ladder!"
Spiffle clicks on the ladder and goes through the animation. The character exits and dramatically stands. Spiffle looks around. His face visibly pales as he looks in every direction, finding the only thing nearby that looks 'safe’ or like 'land' is the destroyed ship in the distance.
"Water... it's... water... everywhere! How big is this game's map!? Structural hull failure... zero human lifesigns detected. That's.. not nice. Well... Here we go!"
Spiffle jumps into the water. His mood changes, the underwater environment significantly different than above ground. The water is absolutely teeming with life and color, as Spiff swims towards a reef to stare at some coral. Spiff gets distracted and starts chasing a fish, specifically a Peeper, and grabs it.
"Oh! Good god! THAT'S how humans catch fish!? That's very... inefficient! What is this thing? Can I eat it? I know I'm supposed to take care of my food and water, so how do I eat it?"
Spiffle wanders about for a while, gathering resources and exploring his general location, eventually getting back to the pod. He had gathered up a decent amount of stuff while he was swimming around and accessed the Fabricator to see what was available.
"Ah! I see, the fabricator cooks things too. Uhm... cooked fish thing and... these transparent fish give me water bottles? Okay then! Well. Sorted for food anyway. Let's see. Copper wire, batteries. A Scanner? Does that mean I can like, scan things and tell what they are? And... Oxygen tank? Oh hell yes. I'll build that then."
Spiffle goes through the process of building a few things, checking out how the game's crafting system works, and spending more time collecting resources. He quickly realizes how much work he has to do and finally finishes making a Scanner.
"Okay then well... I can see how much time is going to be spent collecting resources so i'm going to edit all of that out and keep you all in the loop on all the fun parts instead."
Spiffle continues playing, inserting a creative, albeit mildly annoying fanciful scene transition in between resource loops. He comes to a cave looking for salt to make more equipment, when he encounters the first hostile enemy of the game: The Crashfish. He does not notice it at first, the strange sloppy noise it makes as its pod opens, the beast makes a terrible gurgly noise and charges straight at him.
"What is that noi-AH! OY! OI! OIIII what are you what are-!"
Spiffle is cut off as the fish explodes, causing him to lose half his health. He quickly surfaces and takes a breath.
"Okay then... OKAY... THAT... makes absolutely no sense from an evolutionary perspective... but okay then. Avoid those. What even was that? I can't even scan it because it was moving so fast! Gods... exploding fish."
Spiffle shakes his head and resumes his hunt for resources, eventually finding enough for a repair tool. He makes the repair of the pods' broken wiring and looks around a bit more, noting some of the details in the game.
"Hard to believe these games are over eight hundred years old! I keep getting requests to play 'them gud ol' gamez' instead of any new releases. Maybe I'll get to those eventually. I have quite the backlog though."
Spiffle quickly tabs out and shows the huge list of human made games on his list that he has been gifted or purchased himself. The list includes Space Marine, Starship Troopers, Spyro Trilogy, Crash Bandicoot, and so... so many more.
"I am also told about this thing called 'anime', whatever that is. Maybe I should look into that. Anyway..."
Spiffle shrugs for now and resumes playing, swimming around for a bit before finally deciding to use his scanner. He gets the first scan - the Acid Mushroom - and painstakingly reads the supplied article. He then goes on a scanning frenzy, scanning each thing he can find, comically chasing after various fish and objects, trying to scan them then taking an irritatingly long time to read the article aloud.
He gets to the point where he encounters his first real hostile enemy and tries to scan it. The stalker, of course, doesn't appreciate that, and attacks.
"Oooh what's this thing? Oh lovely, it's a big one. Can I scan it? The... Stalker? Oh okay is it friend-OW! NONONONO go away!"
Spiffle panics and scans it while running away from it, trying to swim backwards. He's so focused on scanning it he can't run far enough away that he gets ambushed by another Stalker nearby and manages to scan it just as he gets hit with his first Death in the game.
"Oh.... o...kay. Well... it seems things aren't as friendly as expected. I'm going to guess there's more things like that around. So... I'm just going to finish working on repairs and equipment then I'll take those things on."
Spiffle reads the article on the Stalker he scanned and spends more time collecting resources, scanning local entities and building the rest of the gear he has. Fins, high capacity O2 tank, rebreather and some more food and water which he stores in floating containers for later. He starts to explore a bit farther in search of fragments to scan and finds a Sand Shark, as well as a biome resembling a desert-like area. He encounters his first piece of the wrecked ship here.
"Oh! Hello! Pieces of wreckage! What are these for now do you suppose? Can I disassemble these for resources or-Oh! Is that a door? Oh! I'm supposed to go in here and look for things? How do I get in? Oh I can't. I need a laser cutter. Is one of those here? Need more fragments I guess..."
Spiffle gives up trying to enter and goes up for air, then returns to the floor to hunt for fragments. He eventually unlocks the Bioreactor, pieces of the Scanner room, a couple fragments of the Seaglide and Seamoth. He comes across the first cave entrance to the Mushroom Caves Biome.
"Oh... oh my. That's... deep. Good thing I unlocked the Seamoth thing. Its a miniature submarine I think. I can use that. But that's... kinda scary. I can't see the bottom. I kinda see just... purple. Mostly purple. But it scares me that I can't see the bottom."
Spiffle hangs around the cave entrance for a bit before a call for Oxygen forces him to the surface. He swims back down to the cave entrance and then hangs around a bit longer before once again resurfacing, heading for some new things to scan. It is however at this point that Spiffles exploration is cut short.
"EMERGENCY - SEISMIC READINGS SUGGEST A QUANTUM DETONATION HAS OCCURRED IN THE AURORA'S DRIVE CORE. THE CENTRAL DARK MATTER REACTOR WILL REACH A SUPERCRITICAL STATE IN -"
The computer aboard the PDA shakes Spiff out of his daze and he quickly rushes to the surface and looks at the ship.
"Wait wait wait what's that!? What's going on!? I see the ship? The Aurora! That's what its name is? Whats a Dark Matter reactor and wha-"
The computer continues its countdown muffled by Spiffs panicked squealing and he has a front-row seat to one of the most spectacular explosions in the history of gaming - the Aurora's Reactor Detonation.
It happens. The world goes dead silent for a short moment, and one can see Spiffles heart visibly stop beating. Then explosion as the Aurora lets out its magnificent blast. As the shockwave expands outwards, Spiffs skin visibly turns a paler shade of blue, and his eyes go wide. The sound of a geiger counter follows, leaving him breathless and pale as the world suddenly goes dead quiet again. The sound of the geiger counter ominously leaving him shaken even more than he already is.
"FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE - THE RADIATION SUIT HAS BEEN ADDED TO YOUR BLUEPRINTS."
Spiffle stays completely silent, bobbing in the water for a solid few minutes, staring in shocked wonder at what he just witnessed. He regains his composure for a few short moments and returns to his scanning venture, but one can easily see he isn't in the right mind after that. He returns to the seabed, at the entrance to the mushroom caves and dives again. He does this several more times, popping up to the surface, looking at the shipwreck, then diving at the entrance again. Finally, after much hesitation, he dives one last time.
"Screw it. it's just a game right?"
He smiles at the camera with a shrug and swims far below the surface, into one of the caves. As he enters the cavern his jaw drops at the sight of a massive underwater cavern filled with gigantic glowing pink mushrooms. The Mushroom caves as they are known. He spots something in the distance, entranced, forgetting his oxygen situation. He cant get far however and a terrifying shriek of some unknown entity shakes him out of his stupor.
"What in the red dawn was that noise!?"
Spiff can't finish asking his invisible audience what's going on as he strays too close to a mushroom, occupied by a Crab Snake, a gigantic sea worm. He is grabbed from behind, spun around and he visibly panics as the giant worm digs its enormous tusks into Spiffles character. Spiffle immediately freaks out, a combination of both the terrifying shriek emitted by the creature and the shock of being attacked makes poor Spiffle jump out of his seat and duck under the table.
"GOWAYGOWAYGOWAGOWAYGOWAY!!!"
The worm comes back and finishes Spiff off before his oxygen runs out. Spiff's character respawns but the footage continues, a slight whimper can be heard in the background as Spiff hides under the desk. This carries on for a few minutes, and his head very slowly appears above the desk. He gingerly puts himself back in his seat and breathes heavily for a bit. When he finally gains control, he tabs out of the game and takes a look at the wiki for Subnautica. He returns a few moments later and stares at the camera in that strange haunting glare he's become so famous for.
"WHY DO YOU STUPID DEVELOPERS NOT PUT GUNS IN THE GAME IF YOU HAVE SHIT LIKE THAT!? ARE YOU INSANE!?"
He grabs the camera and shakes it violently as he rants at it, questioning why there are guns in every other human game he has played and not THIS specific game, especially considering how there are 'giant water snake monsters that eat your face' in a game with no guns. He rants for a good minute or two then plays his outro.
TOP COMMENT: "Are you absolutely sure after Teardown, Factorio and Project ZOMBOID, you should be playing Subnautica? I mean seriously, try something less... psychologically terrifying. It's known as Thalassophobia Simulator for a reason."
_______________________________________________________________
"Great days and glorious victory! My name is Spifflemonk and I still don't understand why we have giant worm monsters but we have no guns!"
Spiffle stares at the camera with an expression that can only be summarized as 'Seriously bruh?' and resumes his last playthrough. He becomes confused at the lack of stuff in his inventory.
"Why is my... Why do I not ha-Oh right... I was eaten. When you die your inventory is wiped... I need to build more tools then."
Spiffle starts some silly music, an alien version of Benny Hill to a montage of him collecting resources, occasionally ranting at various oddities and questioning game logic. He restores all of his tools then goes hunting for a Vehicle Bay fragment so he can build the Seamoth. He continues to scan what he can, developing something of an obsession with the task, then painstakingly reading every word about it to try and understand it. It is at this point Spiffle, during his explorations finds another derelict chunk of ship near the desert region, encountering his first Sand Shark.
"What... What is this? Oh... careful Spiff. This one looks angrier than the last one you found. Wh-What in oblivion!?"
Spiffles attention is once again diverted by the appearance of a Reefback Leviathan and its signature low drone. This one appears to be a fully grown adult.
"You-you... You've got to be... You gotta be fucking kidding me. A Juhara Eelfish!? WHAT IS THAT DOING IN A HUMAN VIDEOGAME!!!??"
Spiffle squeaks in shock as he sees a creature that is an absolute spitting image of a large oceanic dwelling sea creature, which is both the games and his native homeworlds version of a Whale. The Reefback has some dissimilarities, but its close enough to the real thing that Spiffle is genuinely shocked. He quickly pauses the game, opening various wikipedia articles, then displays a full picture of both Subnautica in game Reefback, and the Juhara-Kal-Rehar, colloquially known as a Juhara Eelfish, a shockingly similar creature that lives in his homeworlds oceans.
The only difference between them is the color of the exterior chitin shell. The Reefback has a blue/purple shell, the Juhara Eelfish's chitin has a red/green shell.
"WHEN was this game made!?"
Spiff checks, the current Earth-date is the year 2886. Humanity only entered the galactic community in 2752. Subnautica was released in 2018.
"HOW.... How is that even possible!? You didn't even know the galaxy existed until only a few decades ago, yet you almost PERFECTLY matched the appearance of one of our homeworlds native species! How is this even possible!? Okay. If the name matches then I have to call bullshit."
Spiffle approaches and scans it, then reads the data article.
"A... Reefback Leviathan? Oh thank God... Now let's see... A herbivorous creature that... that likely got so large due to the fact that its predators went extinct. Well... that's... okay... A hard chitinous shell of multiple layers, a microcosm of different creatures and flora growing from its back, hence the name. Hmmm..."
Spiffle gets that cold, empty stare on his face and glares menacingly at the camera. The screen goes black, then returns, seeing Spiffle nursing a beverage of some kind while wrapped in a blanket.
"I realized something... Call it a message from the Ancestors or a Divine revelation. But I have a funny feeling this isn't going to be the last time I see a creature from the galaxy represented in human media. I hope to the Gods that doesn't happen... the concept of this situation is nothing short of terrifying. In any case, I'm sorry about that. Lets.... let's continue."
Spiffle resumes where he left off, doing his usual routine of scanning, then obsessively reading. Eventually he unlocks the Vehicle Bay, and returns home to his pod where the situation with resources is growing obscene with at least fifty floating resource containers hovering around the area.
"Alright... A Vehicle Bay... This means I can build things like the Seamoth now. This will be nice. Right, I shall for the sake of my audience skip the resource collection mechanic that's here and focus on the actual result. I shan't waste my time either though. MONTAGE!"
Spiff yells excitedly and a montage to that same odd Benny Hill type music plays out, with him collecting the resources he needs to build both machines. Most of it is already in the floating containers strewn about. With a few visits to the fabricator, he compiles the Power Cell, Titanium Ingot and Lubricant he needs to make the Vehicle Bay. He deploys it and chases it to the surface just away from the pod in the deeper end of the shallows.
"Right... Not too hard. Let's see then, how do-Ah. Get on it and... The Seamoth. Cost of two glass, one titanium ingot, a powercell, lead and lubricant. Right."
He quickly gathers and makes everything he needs for the Seamoth, then stands on the platform ready to go. He chooses the Seamoths recipe and the sequence starts. His eyes light up as drones start flying around the platform, then begin assembling atom by atom, the small, adorable minisub known as the Seamoth. It finishes the process and flops into the water with a splash.
"My gods look at this thing! It's so cute!"
Spiffle explores the sub for a little while and hops inside it, testing the controls and playing around with it a bit to see what it can do.
"Hm... Maximum Depth, 200 meters? So if I go below that does it implode or something? I need to be careful of that. OH dammit I remember! I have to make that Radiation Suit don't I? I shall do so now!"
Spiffle seems to have found a new resolve, quickly gathering resources together and making both a Seaglide and radiation suit in short order.
"Does this thing have any weapons? How do I repair-Oh... Repair tool? That makes it easier I suppose. Now... Where do I go now? Is there anything I can do?"
Spiffle stumbles about in the blind for a few minutes, trying to figure out his next course of action beyond simply wandering aimlessly while scanning things. He gets back in the pod and fixes the radio beacon. His face visibly contorts into an expression of irritation when he hears his rescue is in 9999 hours. He resolves to come back every now and then to check the radio. He decides to gather more resources to make up for building the seamoth and comes back a bit later. He finds a radio transmission when he returns.
"RADIO: ▀▖┗▛Nine new biological subjects designated. Mode ▄▖▜▚┣: hunting/analyzing.
Sharing subject locations with other agents."
"What... in the Nine Hells was THAT!? Why was it in such an odd voice? What was that language? What were those letters!? Somethings going on here... SO now what? I have the radiation suit. i guess... go into the Aurora? Oh no, I'm not going in there unprepared! Lemme make some tools and spare batteries, then i'll go in. I need... Oh... I need more fragments is what I need."
Spiffle resumes his fragment hunt, looking around for fragments of various tools. He uses the Seamoth to traverse around.
"WHEEE!!!"
Spiff seems more than just a bit happy as he trundles around in the Seamoth, using his speed to launch himself out of the water. He splashes about a bit, testing the limits of the craft and trying to see what holes he can squeeze himself into or out of and how deep he can go.
"Okay okay. time to get to serious work. Now... I need to find... A Laser Cutter and a... STASIS RIFLE?! Wait... rifle? That means GUN! I NEED A GUN!!"
Spiffle charges forward towards the desert biome where he found the Reefback and resumes his search for things to scan. It is now he comes across a Reginald.
"What... IS this fish? Wait, let me just..."
He gets out of the Seamoth and scans it.
"Huh... Reginald. That's a... fish? It's so cute! Wait, come back friend!"
Spiffle spends an unreasonable amount of time trying to catch a Reginald. When he finally catches one he gets back in the Seamoth and heads towards the aurora, new friend in tow. He trundles over to the side of the crashed ship and scans some random stuff here and there, finding fragments to a few small items, including a few he needs such as a Powercell Charger for the Seamoth’s battery. He gets close to the front of the ship and the haunting, evil noise of Subnautica's most iconic killer suddenly echoes through the gloomy water.
"What... Was that? Is it another worm thing? Please don't let it be one of those..."
Spiffle wanders around the side for a bit longer. An ominous shadow looms in the background, catching his eye. He ignores it for the moment and simply carries on, eventually arriving at the entrance to the ship. Through the mangled steel and fire he squeezes into the front of the ship and looks around. The environment ominously rattles and his screen shakes as the ships structure isn't exactly stable. The howl of the creature in the shadows makes Spiff even more uncomfortable.
"I... Do NOT like this. I really dont."
Spiff parks the Seamoth where he can see a ramp leading up, and gets out. He is immediately accosted by Cave Crawlers and uses his knife to defend himself, poorly, but he gets rid of the three or four around him.
"WARNING: SCANS SHOW THE DIGESTIVE TRACTS OF INDIGENOUS LIFE FORMS CONTAIN HUMAN TISSUE."
Spiffs face turns an even paler shade of blue and he swallows visibly as if he's trying not to vomit.
"Yeuch... I can scan this thing and read it later. I don't want to be here any longer than I have to."
Spiff scans and follows the path to the interior, uses his fire extinguisher to put out some fires in the area and gets inside. The ship rumbles as he wanders around and gets into one of the rooms. He finds the poster of the P.R.A.W.N. Suit.
"Ooh! A poster thing? Can I take it or? I can! PRAWN Suit eh? Can I actually use that thing?"
Spiff takes the poster, scans some furniture and collects a PDA. Spiff continues down the corridor and retrieves his Propulsion Cannon from his inventory and uses it to pick up some furniture in the way.
"I am SO glad I got this thing from scanning the area before I came here. This is super useful! I wonder if it has other uses..."
He gets to the door and looks at his databank.
"Hmm... Here it is! Code for the door is 1454. Right."
Spiff moves through, repairing a door to get the Seamoth Depth Upgrade Module. He continues and clears a fire to enter the main reactor. His inner loot goblin shines through and grabs the Cyclops engine efficiency module before he starts work on repairs, scanning the breach and starting work. It doesn't take him long, but he gets issues with a Bleeder that lives in the waters. He scans one then finishes repairs. Foolishly, he uses the propulsion cannon and shoots the bleeder at one of the reactors, undoing his work. He looks at the damage he caused and repairs it.
"Well... what was I expecting... Why did I do that? It's a CANNON... why did I aim it at the reactor exactly? So stupid..."
Spiff finishes and heads to the PRAWN Bay, and looks around at the damage. He spots the prawn suits and starts scanning, grabbing a storage module upgrade from a console and starts extinguishing flames so he can scan. He runs out of fire extinguisher juice though.
"Blast! Can I still scan these if they're on fire?"
Spiff walks around, finding cheeky angles he can use and scans the debris, finding all four fragments he needs. He heads upstairs and goes through the rooms and everything he can find. He gets into the Galley and sees the Kitty in a Space Helmet Poster.
"What the- 'Keep Calm'? What in the blue balls is this? It's.... cute! What is this creature!? Can I keep this? I can!"
Spiffle excitedly grabs the poster and moves on. He goes through cabins, picks up PDAs and collects the Natural Selection 2 poster, the Prawn suit in the sea poster and the collectible arcade toy in the locked cabin. Lacking the code to the Captain's cabin, he returns to the prawn bay and tries swimming around, eventually finding a passage in the hull debris to the rest of the ship. He moves through in silence, recovers the black box data and exits the ship. He removes debris, grabs the local wildlife with the cannon and tosses them into fires or the water with glee.
"BEGONE BEAST!!! Ha! Right... uhh... where did i park? Oh, there it is. Should I go home? I wonder if there are any fragments I can use around here?"
Spiff exits, finding Liefpod 4 floating upside down on the surface of the water. He collects the PDA data and a new blueprint. Then, as he gets in the seamoth, the horrifying roar of the Reaper Leviathan suddenly sounds. Spiff is thrown into a panic, screams in terror and tries desperately to get away. The beast appears with jaw chomping and claws clawing at the poor Seamoth. The entire time Spiffle is screeching like a bird with a broken leg, his entire body now an almost ghostly white out of absolute terror.
"GOWAYGOWAYGOWAYGOWAYGODNONNONOGOWAYGOWAY!!!"
Spiffle manages to get out of its grip and in a panic charges away towards his lifepod and continues to scream, breathing hard between screams. He gets to the pod and then hides under his desk, continuing to scream. His channel outro plays.
TOP COMMENT: (This has been translated from Eridani) "I am starting to believe this whole sojourn was a very BAD idea. Do you humans have those kinds of beasts on your homeworld? How did you ever survive them?!"
RESPONSE: LOL no we never had Reapers. The only Leviathan Class creatures we have on our planet are Whales. And they're mostly peaceful plankton eaters. Mostly.
RESPONSE: (Translated from Eridani) "Seriously? I think I find it more terrifying that these creatures are made up in your minds. What kind of nightmares do you people have to be able to create this level of fiction!?"
RESPONSE: Do. Not. Ask. This is only Subnautica - we have FAR worse.
Spiffles response: "You're going to make me play these 'far worse', aren't you?"
RESPONSE: "Damn right we are! :)"
________________________________________________________
"Great days and glorious victory! My name is Spifflemnonk and welcome back to Subnautica!"
Spiffle looks visibly stronger, his usual lanky appearance now looking like he's been working out like a Gym Bro. One can see muscles on muscles and Spiff seems to have an abnormal amount of energy.
"I am now relaxed. It is now time to get eaten by giant scary sea monsters. And yes, before you ask, I have successfully finished fully soundproofing my office. And also yes, I am indeed expecting a new addition to the brood... THANKS DAMN HUMANS! You and your damn musical magic nonsense..."
Spiffle starts the game and is swimming outside the pod next to the Seamoth. The first thing he does is repair the seamoth from the damage incurred by the Reaper, and recounts what hes been up to, checking inventory and equipment. He heads to the radio and gets a new transmission.
RADIO - "This is Avery Quinn of trading ship Sunbeam. Aurora, do you read? Over.'
'Nothing but vacuum. These Alterra ships. They run low on engine grease, they send an SOS; you offer to help, they don't pick up.'
'Aurora, we're out on the far side of the system, it's going to take more than a week to reach your position, do you still need our assistance? Over.'
'I'll try them again tomorrow. Damn charter's going to have us wasting our profit margin running errands for Alterra.'
'See what the long-range scanner picks up in the meantime."
"Oh? Oh lovely! There ARE people in this game! I wonder when they will be here? Meh, I have things to build, so I'll keep an eye."
Spiffle resolves himself to start building a base, trying to find a good spot. He finds the Mushroom Forest Biome and starts gathering resources to ferry them around. He installs the Depth Module and the Storage module to the Seamoth, then builds the Moon Pool. The Mushroom Biome becomes one of his favorite spots and a close encounter with a JellyRay cements it.
"Those creatures are beautiful! Look! JellyRay! Its glowing blue and pretty! I love that! Oh... I have a new radio message. I need to listen to that then."
Spiff returns to the pod and listens to the message.
RADIO - "Aurora, this is Sunbeam again. We just picked up a massive debris field at your location.'
'I didn't know how bad... How many of you... I didn't know.'
'We are now en route to your location. We're going to bring you home. Sunbeam out.'
'What else can I say? The only time I parked a rig this big on a rock that small was in VR, and I blew it'
'Oh, it's a bad option alright, but so are all the others."
Spiff smiles and carries on working, parking the Seamoth inside after powering everything up.
"So lovely! But... Is that a win condition? I know human games by now I have played enough of them. Is that a win condition? Get rescued? I dunno..."
Spiffle carries on building for a little and gets a storage system up, spending a few in-game days transporting resources to his new base. He returned to the pod and played a new radio message, again from the Sunbeam.
RADIO - "This is Sunbeam. Y'know, Aurora, we're from a little trans-gov on the far side of Andromeda, and we have a saying there.'
'There's no bad without the good, no good without the bad.'
'Sounds like you tasted a bunch of the former, but that only means you're overdue a whole lot of the latter.'
'Might just be we're it.'
'We're scanning for somewhere to park, we'll be in touch when we find it. Sunbeam out."
"Ohh... That... that's a lovely saying! What was that uh... There's no bad without the good, no good without the bad. I like that! I think i'll have that framed on my wall! Now lets see.. i ca- I CAN GIVE THE SEAMOTH A NAME? OOHHHhh okay, okay.. I can customize the color too! I think I'll just do this..."
Spiff leaves the name as 'Seamoth' for now, changing the color to a mix of purple for the main, and blue for the trim and name color. His two favorite colors. Spiffle does a little more work, acquiring the last fragments for the Cyclops and starts gathering together the resources necessary to build it.
"Hmmm.. Cyclops... Personal large scale submarine capable of carrying other vehicles! Ooohhh I want to build that! I need to fetch the Vehicle Bay though. Im almost done moving house!"
Spiff returns and packs up the last of his resources, then gets another radio message.
RADIO - "Aurora, we're approaching the planet now, and we have a landing site for you that's... well, it's better than the alternatives.'
'We've sent you the coordinates.'
'It'll take us a couple of days to align our orbit, we should be able to establish direct contact with you during that time, then we're coming in to get you.'
'Cross your fingers the weather holds, and don't leave us waiting. Sunbeam out."
Spiffle gets a new beacon on his HUD. Sunbeam Landing Site.
"What!? Is this game over If I'm there!? Okay... well. At least it's no longer terrifying! I'll get the Seamoth and go for the beacon then. I hope it's okay... Strange... this... doesn't feel like the end, you know? But if it is then it is."
Spiff heads home, deploys the Vehicle Bay and deposits his gear and resources. He heads towards the location, occasionally squealing 'WHEEE!!' as he uses the Seamoth to jump out of the water like a dolphin. However, he miscalculates and the Seamoth jumps up, out and sustains a bit of damage as it hits a rock formation close to the surface. He gets out, repairs it and looks at the camera.
"Why no I didn't just damage my Seamoth by having too much fun. I don't know what you are talking about. Hehe."
Spiffle smirks at the camera with a glare and carries on. Eventually, he encounters the largest of the Islands in the world.
"Wh... WHAT. This has been here the whole time!? Is this an island? Who cares! LAND! Sweet land!"
Spiffle now notices the timer and hops onto the island from his Seamoth. He walks up to the landing zone and stops dead in his tracks at the sight of the massive al;ien structure known as the Quarantine Enforcement Platform. In essence, a giant alien cannon.
"What... the *beep* is THAT?"
Spiffles' editing has gotten better, his editor learning how to censor Spiffles foul language, in both English AND Eridani. He moves closer to the building, scanning the broken tablet and the Forcefield Controls.
"What is this? I mean it's clearly alien... What do the codex entries say... 'possible to reconstruct the device' Oh... hmm.. I can make more of these then. 'Matches no known technologies... functions like a lock'. Okay then so... Standard video game logic I guess. That's nice! So A purple tablet will unlock the gate there. What are those?"
Spiff moves towards the Cairns marking the way into the island, pathways leading up the mountainside. He follows them, finding a Purple Tablet in the process on one of the pathways.
"Oh! Lovely! That saves me resources and a trip I guess. This pathway keeps going though. hmm... Welp, we still have thirty minutes, so let's go."
Spiff explores the pathway, getting lost a bit before finally figuring that following the large cables is a good idea. He comes across the Teleportation Arch and scans it, in between dodging the Cave Crawlers.
"Right, let's see... Alien Arch... not much to speak of here. Maybe this thing will be useful later I guess. Likely.... Hmmm..."
Spiffle continues exploring and eventually finds himself back at the forcefield with another twenty minutes to go.
"Screw it, let's go."
Spiff activates the forcefield platform and the animation of the key being placed plays out. He moves into the building, activating both data platforms and acquiring two Ion Cubes for later, scanning everything he thinks he can scan. He enters the Moonpool in the bay and gets two more Ion Cubes, plus data on a rifle and a Doomsday Device. He ignores it for now, acquiring one more purple tablet and accessing the control room.
"Right... what's in here? Hmm... Energy Core, right. I shall scan that and... press button?"
Spiff presses the button. An animation plays where a device locks his characters hand in place, viciously stabs it with a pointy metal bit and then releases it.
"OH GODS what the hell! Why is that?! That's just nasty!"
"THE TERMINAL IS BROADCASTING A MESSAGE. TRANSLATION READS: 'Warning, infected individuals may not disable the weapon. This planet is under quarantine.'"
"Quarantine! What? Infected? I-Hold on...."
Spiffle gets his scanner out and performs a self-scan. It is only now he notices something very bad has happened.
"I-infected!? Wait, what!?"
"SELF-SCAN COMPLETE - DETECTING STATISTICALLY SIGNIFICANT BACTERIAL LEVELS. NO ADVERSE EFFECTS DETECTED. BE VIGILANT FOR SYMPTOMS."
"Oh brilliant! Does that mean I can't leave? I KNEW IT! Wait... weapon!? This is a weapon!?"
Spiffle panics and runs out of the facility as fast as he can and waits the last few minutes for the Sunbeam to arrive. Sure enough, it does. In the last 30 seconds, the Sunbeam plays a message.
RADIO - "Survivor, we see you!
'Man, I don't know how you held out down there.'
The sunbeams message plays, and Spiffle gasps in terror from the sound of the gun platform starting up and starting to move around.
RADIO - "We've broken atmosphere and we're descending towards the landing site.'
'Is that a building down there?! What do you mean you can't identify it?"
The weapon powers up and turns, aiming itself high at the sky.
RADIO - "Hold on, no turning back now.'
'Positions everyone, touching down in 10, 9, 8-'
The weapon charges up and a loud vicious hum can be heard echoing through the valley.
RADIO - "It's coming from the building?! Change course, set thrusters to (full)-"
The radio goes to static, the weapon fires and the Sunbeam is vaporized instantly by a massive blast of bright green light. The sunbeam disappears, its hull structure completely disintegrated. Spiffle sits in stunned silence as the platform returns to a stable position, shuts down, and everything goes quiet.
"Well... Okay then... That was... horrifying. I guess thats all we have time for! Hehe! Oh dear..."
Spiffle looks a bit defeated as he sits back in his seat.
"S-see you next time! I guess... Holy shit..."
Channel Outro plays.
TOP COMMENT: "Are you okay? You seem a little bit too disturbed by that. Its fine though, compared to what happens in the Rise Of The Ancients Mod, this is tame! Lol! I love that mod!"
Spiffles Response: "Please don't make me play that mod..."
((Authors note - due to how bastardingly huge Subnautica is, this will be a multi part series. Other Spiff stories will come inbetween. Hope you enjoy!))

Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/Acshs0S
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Sold?	Type	Item	Qty	Price	Notes
	XLR microphone	Marantaz MPM1000	1	$35	No XLR cable; $70 shipped bundled with the audio interface
SOLD	Audio interface	M-Audio M-Track Solo	1	$35
	Input switcher	Schitt Sys (black)	1	$34
	12vhpwr cable	Cablemod silver right-angle 12vhpwr 300mm cable for Corsair power supplies	1	$24
	M.2 card	Gigabyte Aorus Gen4 AIC Adaptor	1	$34	Bottom-side thermal pad is rather scuffed. The exterior heatsink/cover has multiple cosmetic scratches.
	120mm fan	Thermalright TL-M12W	1	$6
	120mm fan	Thermalright TL-P12W-S	1	$5
	120mm fan	ASRock Taichi Carrara 120mm fan	1	$8
	120mm fan	Thermalright TL-B12 (black)	2	$9 for both
	120mm fan	Bitspower Notos O ring-fan	3	$17 for all 3

Comment before PM, no chats.

I am on PC, using MO2, having followed The Midnight Ride modding guide as a baseline.
I have since added quite a few mods in the attempt to more round out my vanilla plus/enhanced experience, but have experiences some CTD. Was hoping for assistance sorting out the load order, and perhaps on mod suggestions!
Any help would be really deeply appreciated, still new to the modding process!
Crashes from tossing a molotov and browsing wall decor posters were the most recent
Modlist:

Mod_Priority,#Mod_Status,#Mod_Name

"0000","+","DLC: Wasteland Workshop" "0001","+","DLC: Vault-Tec Workshop" "0002","+","DLC: Nuka-World" "0003","+","DLC: Far Harbor" "0004","+","DLC: Contraptions Workshop" "0005","+","DLC: Automatron" "0006","+","Creation Club: ccSBJFO4003-Grenade" "0007","+","Creation Club: ccOTMFO4001-Remnants" "0008","+","Creation Club: ccFSVFO4007-Halloween" "0009","+","Creation Club: ccBGSFO4116-HeavyFlamer" "0010","+","Creation Club: ccBGSFO4115-X02" "0011","+","Creation Club: ccBGSFO4110-WS_Enclave" "0012","+","Creation Club: ccBGSFO4096-AS_Enclave" "0013","+","Creation Club: ccBGSFO4046-TesCan" "0014","+","Creation Club: ccBGSFO4044-HellfirePowerArmor" "0015","-","Utilities_separator" "0016","+","PrivateProfileRedirector F4 - Faster game start (INI file cacher)" "0017","+","High FPS Physics Fix" "0018","+","Console Commands Extender" "0019","+","Better Console - F4SE" "0020","+","Backported Archive2 Support System" "0021","+","Address Library for F4SE Plugins" "0022","+","RobCo Patcher" "0023","+","Baka MaxPapyrusOps" "0024","+","Random Encounter Framework" "0025","+","Lighthouse Papyrus Extender" "0026","+","Garden of Eden Papyrus Script Extender" "0027","+","RAW INPUT - The Ultimate Mouse Sensitivity Fix" "0028","+","Achievements" "0029","+","MCM Booster" "0030","+","LevelUpMenuEx" "0031","+","Leveled Item Framework (LIF)" "0032","-","Bug Fixes_separator" "0033","+","Unofficial Fallout 4 Patch - UFO4P" "0034","+","Ownership Fixes" "0035","+","Community Fixes Merged" "0036","+","The Midnight Ride - Glitchfinder All-In-One" "0037","+","Misc anim tweaks and fixes" "0038","+","Weapon Mod Fixes" "0039","+","Community Fixes Merged - Weapon Mod Fixes Patch" "0040","+","Buffout 4" "0041","+","Sprint Stuttering Fix" "0042","+","Hostile NPC Respawn Fix - F4SE - Garden of Eden SE" "0043","+","Companion Jump Fall Pose Fix - F4SE - Garden of Eden SE" "0044","+","Combat Shutdown Grenade Fixes - F4SE - Garden of Eden SE" "0045","+","Outfit ReDress Fix" "0046","+","Jet Script Bug Fix" "0047","+","Interior NavCut Fix" "0048","+","Long Save Bug Fix" "0049","+","Energy Weapon Calculation Fix" "0050","+","Armor Penetration Bug Fix - F4SE" "0051","+","3rd Person Behavior Fixes" "0052","+","Reload Fix" "0053","+","Fixed Gobo Effects" "0054","+","Melee Sneak Locomotion Animation Blending Fix (Behavior Edit)" "0055","+","Fixed Protectron Textures" "0056","+","Marine Combat Armor Material Fix" "0057","+","Wetness Shader Fix" "0058","+","Flutter Flicker Fixer For Foliage" "0059","+","NPC Drinking Fix" "0060","+","Marine Wet suit Material Fix" "0061","+","Previsibines Repair Pack Stable Branch - PRP" "0062","+","Previsibines Repair Pack Stable Branch - PRP - Part 2" "0063","+","Simple Puddle Reflection Flicker Fix (Water and Blood)" "0064","-","Tweaks_separator" "0065","+","Place Everywhere" "0066","+","Unlimited Survival Mode - F4SE" "0067","+","Remove Ammo from Dropped Guns" "0068","+","To Your Face FO4" "0069","+","Simple Offence Suppression F4" "0070","+","Remember Lockpick Angle - Updated" "0071","+","Less Annoying Berry Mentats" "0072","+","Faster Workbench Exit" "0073","+","Classic Holstered Weapons System (CHW)" "0074","+","Deadeye Weapon Effect Fix" "0075","+","Bullet Counted Reload System (BCR)" "0076","+","Bullet Counted Reload System (BCR) Lever Action" "0077","+","Jolly Item Sounds" "0078","+","Automatically Lowered Weapons" "0079","+","Better Companions - No Conflicts" "0080","+","Roleplayer's Expanded Dialogue (RED)" "0081","+","Immersive Pip-Boy Radio" "0082","+","Unlimited Companion Framework" "0083","+","Silent Protagonist F4SE" "0084","-","User Interface_separator" "0085","+","Immersive HUD - iHUD" "0086","+","Clean Power Armor HUD" "0087","+","Mod Configuration Menu" "0088","+","MCM Settings Manager" "0089","+","The Midnight Ride Resources" "0090","+","Outline Workshop Highlight Only" "0091","+","Extended Dialogue Interface" "0092","+","Crafting Highlight Fix" "0093","+","HUDFramework" "0094","+","Improved Map with Visible Roads" "0095","+","PipboyTabs" "0096","-","Gameplay_separator" "0097","+","Settler and Companion Dialogue Overhaul" "0098","+","Who's The General - Minutemen Quest Cleanup" "0099","+","NPCs Use Items" "0100","+","No Sneaking in Power Armor" "0101","+","Legendaries They Can Use" "0102","+","Keep Radiants in the Commonwealth UFO4P Version" "0103","+","Encounter Zone Recalculation (Continuous Level Scaling)" "0104","+","DLC Timing" "0105","+","Vish's Patch Hub (UFO4P)" "0106","+","Vish's Patch Hub (UFO4P) 2" "0107","+","Complex Vendors" "0108","+","Chemfluence - AI Combat Dynamics" "0109","+","Blocking Overhaul" "0110","+","Who's The General - Minutemen Quest Cleanup - Keep Radiants" "0111","+","Equipment and Crafting Overhaul (ECO) - Redux" "0112","+","Legendary Effect Overhaul (LEO)" "0113","+","New Equipment Overhaul (NEO)" "0114","+","Hot Diggity - Skills Perks - Redux" "0115","+","KARMA" "0116","-","Content_separator" "0117","+","The Attachment Pack" "0118","+","Attachment Pack - Description Tweaks and Fixes" "0119","+","The Attachment Pack - Implementation Patch" "0120","+","Vish's Patch Hub (UFO4P) 2 - Attachment Pack" "0121","+","Legendary Mutation Messages Fix - Cut Content Restored" "0122","+","You And What Army 2" "0123","+","Backpacks of the Commonwealth" "0124","+","Backpacks of the Commonwealth - Immersive Redux" "0125","+","Wanderer's Vault Suit" "0126","+","The Pip-Boy Glove" "0127","-","Visuals_separator" "0128","+","WET" "0129","+","WAVE - Wave Animation Vanilla Enhanced" "0130","+","Terrain Undersides - 2 Million Sunblock" "0131","+","Targeted Textures - Vanilla textures upscaled fixed and sized" "0132","+","First-Person Running with Hands Animations" "0133","+","Remove Ironsight Blur" "0134","+","First-Person Swimming Animations Tweak" "0135","+","Lightweight Lighting - Exterior and Interior Patch" "0136","+","Lightweight Lighting - A weather and interior lighting overhaul" "0137","+","Hair Specular Map Removal Thingy" "0138","+","Goodneighbor View" "0139","+","Gloomy Glass - All transparent materials revised" "0140","+","Fallout 4 Particle Patch - No More Glowing Objects" "0141","+","Diamond City Supplements" "0142","+","Diamond City Billboards" "0143","+","Enhanced Vanilla Armor and Clothing - EVAC" "0144","-","Weapons_separator" "0145","+","Service Rifle" "0146","+","Service Rifle - Weapon Overhaul Project" "0147","+","MTs-255 Revolver Shotgun" "0148","+","MTs-255 Revolver Shotgun Reanimation" "0149","+","MTs-255 - Revolver Shotgun Empowered" "0150","+","M1 Garand" "0151","+","M1 Garand - Weapon Overhaul Project" "0152","+","Hunting Revolver and Ranger Sequoia" "0153","+","Caravan Shotgun" "0154","+","M2045 Magnum Revolver Rifle" "0155","-","Unsorted_separator" "0156","+","Vivid Fallout - All in One" "0157","+","Vivid Fallout - Landscapes - Complex Parallax Occlusion" "0158","+","Vivid Fallout - LOD and Far Distant Detail" "0159","+","Vivid Fallout - LOD and Distant Detail - Far Harbor" "0160","+","Vivid Fallout - LOD and Far Distant Detail - Nuka World" "0161","+","Dilapidated Roads (2K - 4K)" "0162","+","Boston Natural Surroundings" "0163","+","FO4FI HD Series (HD Power Armor)" "0164","+","FallUI - Sleep and Wait" "0165","+","LNL's Decoration Arrangements for Settlements"

I know the 2025's for each are not too far off, but I am planning to add one of these within the next week or two. Looked at other similar and so on, but really just have it down to these two.
2024 Honda CR-V Sport Touring Hybrid
2024 Hyundai Tucson Hybrid Limited
If you had to choose, which would YOU buy? Thanks!

Hi, hello, it's me again, posting some more work my brain forced me to do before I'm allowed to get back to writing again 'cause none of it will be seen by anyone if I don't.
tl;dr, I tried to use the scenes we get to put together two possible floorplans for the Noceda residence, though, surprise surprise, there's no definitive answer.
Here's also an imgur album where all the sketches and combined screenshots scattered around this post are located. I'd suggest having all embeds open for this post's formatting's sake. If you instead want to read this post on tumblr, head here. Anyway.

Introduction

Alright, so we all know that houses in cartoons are innocuous suburban homes that inside are secretly eldritch shapeshifting nightmares hellbent on driving anyone trying to put together a definitive interior insane, answering only to the whims of the storyboarders. And typically, the longer a show runs and the more scenes we get inside a house, the more contradictions etc. build up. Thankfully, the Noceda residence, which I think I'll call Walnut Grove, or the Grove for short from here on out (since Noceda is losely translated to grove of walnut trees, and the Grove or Walnut Grove sounds like something people might name their house). Petering out sentence aside, thankfully we only see the inside of the Grove in a couple episodes: Camila's room in Enchanting Grom Fright's last scene, the living room in the ending scene of Keeping up A-fear-ances, several scenes of the kitchen and Luz's bedroom in Yesterday's Lie, the kitchen and entry hall at the end of King's Tide, Luz's room and the upstairs hallway in the epilogue, and of course every single room we know of in Thanks To Them.
Since the scenes establishing the Grove's interior are mostly isolated to single rooms or all within one episode, hopefully the paradoxes and contradictions remain somewhat low. And of course, before we fully dive into things, this is not meant as a critique towards the show. Setting up a scene, joke, or otherwise, trumps a fully logical, realistic layout, and putting together a full floorplan prior to boarding or animating makes it almost impossible to account for any later rooms or more useful arrangements that are needed in the future.
So, with the introduction aside, let's first take a look at the exterior of Walnut Grove.
Walnut Grove exterior
The house is a quaint suburban home with two floors, possibly an attic, and (a later revealed) basement, with a forward-facing gable roof that has one shed-style dormer window at the front. There's a chimney off on the right, slightly off-center, and there's two windows on this side, one for each floor. The front door is to the left, along with six windows, two thinner ones on either side of the door and four big ones, though the second thin window is occasionally missing, such as in the picture above. There's no garage, just a driveway. The back and left-facing sides of the Grove are never seen, so they're a blank slate, though it's very likely there's a backdoor. The general dimensions of the house seem to have a comparable width to length, close to a square.

First attempt

With that out of the way, now for piecing together the actual inside. Let's have the first attempt start right at the front door, which opens up into the entry hall, where the staircase resides.
Front door
In the second half of Thanks to Them, there's a perfect shot that shows the full entryway.
Full entry hallway
Here you can see the stairs on the left, a door on the left near the back of the stairs, a door all the way at the end with ventilation up top, and two openings on the right, one leading directly into the kitchen.
As a funny aside, in the extended intro in Thanks to Them there's a shot of the hall that looks like this, where the stairs have to be fit in a seriously thin slice on the left to not be visible.
Spaghettified staircase
Anyway, going counter-clockwise, the living room is easily established as being the first opening on the right of the hall (hard to see due to low lighting), the stairs are also visible from the living room. The majority of this room is occupied by drawers and small tables, plus a large sofa in the middle with a TV against the front wall. There's also a window off to the right.
Living room
The back right corner of the living room is never seen properly, nor is the front wall beyond a close-up shot of the TV, but the back left has this additional inward corner.
The other room visible in the prior establishing shot of the entry hall is the kitchen, being accessible through the second opening. These two opposing shots give a full view of the kitchen. There's a counter that runs along the back three walls, along with a kitchen island and a breakfast table on the other side. The microwave and stove top plus oven are on the left along with the fridge, and the sink's at the back.
Kitchen
The opening on the right of the second picture leads into the hallway, with the other exit being a regular door.
There's also a different angle where the opening is seen more clearly, with the room opposite the hall being the downstairs toilet. This also means the door on the left of the establishing shot of the entry hallway belongs to the downstairs toilet, leaving only the door at the back of the hall unaccounted for, though the presence of the window in the kitchen makes it very likely this is the backdoor, or something that leads into a small room that has the backdoor.
Kitchen view of toilet
And that should be all the known rooms on the ground floor done with. Here's a crude sketch for the layout (not necessarily to scale):
Sketch of downstairs
Before making anything more definitive, let's move on to the other two floors. First, the basement is probably the easiest and most well-defined. These two opposing shots map out the majority of it.
Basement
There's a small work station and a sofa seated up against the stairs down to the basement, a closet on the wall to the right, alongside a washedryer setup. In the opposing corner is a small bar. This was definitely the mancave. The one thing that's missing is a pool table. The only trouble the basement has is…where are the stairs to the basement located? The space right under the stairs in the entryway is already occupied by the downstairs toilet, and the front of the house is already mapped from left to right: left wall -> entry hall -> living room -> window on the right wall. The only bits with space undefined/left is in the back right, as the kitchen's right wall has no windows or anything to indicate it's actually an outside wall, or the back left, with the unassigned door which may or may not be the backdoor obscuring things. The unassigned door has ventilation above it, and while I'm not sure, I presume it's common to have those above interior doors rather than exterior ones, so perhaps there is indeed another room back there. Especially if it's the entry to the basement, which has no windows or access to the outside for ventilation. Plus, the way the kitchen extends further back than the hallway in its establishing shot suggests there is room back there.
Lastly, let's move on to the upper floor.
The main thing we see on this floor is Luz's room, which is almost fully mapped by these shots, leaving just one corner unseen.
Luz's room
It has a bunk bed, a window on either side on both walls, a built-in closet with sliding door on the opposing wall, a small bookcase, and a desk under the right-most window. This is also where we run into the first definitive irreconcilable contradiction. You can see the slanted roof of the house here, with Luz's ceiling going up diagonally from the wall with the bookcase to the door at the back. However, in Yesterday's Lie, Vee jumps out of the desk window on the right, and comes out the shed window at the front of the Grove.
Vee yeeting out the window
Furthermore, we also have a shot at the end of the extended intro in Thanks to Them, where Luz sits at her desk on the right and directly sees the school bus arrive at the front.
School bus arrives
So, the ceiling says the desk window should be on the side of the Grove, but two instances say the window is at the front. There's sadly no way to reconcile this, so any future layout will have to compromise and pick one or the other. One thing that's clear though is that Luz's room has a front-facing wall. Whether that means her room is at the front-right corner or the front-left corner is up to us to pick.
The ceiling's slant in Luz's room should start a lot lower near the floor anyway, as the roof at the front slants down all the way to the bottom of the upper floor, along with the shed window being obvious from the inside, while in Luz's room the diagonal ceiling is only near the top, and the windows are both on flat walls. But of course, fitting in a bunk bed with that kind of ceiling is much more difficult for animators with these shots, so let's just let that slide.
Moving on, we also get a few shots of the upstairs hallway.
Upstairs hallway
Now, I definitely think this hallway has been stretched out in the right picture, namely to add in all the photos on the wall, so let's go with animation trickery and assume the length is shorter than this, otherwise it'll probably be wider than the entire house, length- or width-wise. We also have at least two doors on one side of the hall, possibly three since the door in the left picture is white, with the other door further back in the right picture being brown. There's also room behind the camera on the left for a door, as well as the stairs leading up to the hallway. There's no serious slant visible in the ceiling like in Luz's room, so the hallway isn't directly up against an outside wall, so that's one point off.
When it comes to Camilla's room we basically see nothing except the bed and the door, so nothing more to say about that.
Camila's room
Before I go ahead and show my first attempt at a complete floorplan, I'll also mention that we're missing a proper bathroom, so that's something that has to be around somewhere. Since there's at least three doors in the upstairs hallway, and convention, the bathroom will be upstairs.
There's also this inward corner in the back-left of the living room, and the kitchen doesn't have an alcove back there, so another room has to be back there. Though from all possible angles, no door can be seen. So apparently the Grove just has a hole in its center?
Unidentified empty space
Lastly, there's the already mentioned possible location of the basement stairs behind the door at the back of the hall. I'll leave out a highly possible attic space, as it's never shown, and adding it to the floorplan is pretty easy. Just a singular room with a collapsible ceiling ladder somewhere in the upstairs hallway.
With all this kept in mind, the floorplan that arises from this looks like this, though proportions can be altered a little:
Floorplans attempt 1
Some clarifications, I turned the mysterious gap in the center of the house into a pantry, with kitchen-access, even if there's no actual access visible in the show. The second doorway in the kitchen also directly leads into the living room, in the corner we can't see. A fireplace is also added, as there should be a chimney/fireplace around that location. The space behind the door at the back of the hall is turned into a room with access to the basement, though I can also see it containing the breaker box and that kind of stuff on the right wall.
For the basement, nothing more needs to be said, except yes, I did add the pool table. And for the upstairs, by making things fit with the parameters set with the ground floor, the additional space in the front-left corner becomes a home office (for Manny, rest in peace), with Luz's room at the front-right and her desk window becoming the shed window, and Camila's room at the back-right. Using up some of the remaining space for built-in closets, the potential third/middle door in the hallway becomes the missing bathroom, which is an en-suite here. Lastly, the remaining space in the back left just becomes more storage space.
So yeah, a few clunky things, but it works overall.
Now to tear this apart and point out all the inconsistencies I left out up until now.

The inconsistencies #1

Obviously, Luz's room is a Schrodinger's room that's in either the front-left corner state or the front-right corner state. For the sake of illustrating both options, I collapsed the wave function into front-right for this attempt, but I'll get back to the other state in a bit.
This also means the hallway is oriented wrong, as none of the slanted roof can be seen at the back, which would be the case if the orientation was front to back. The upstairs hallway is depicted as being oriented from left to right, parallel to the rooftop, especially with the window at the end.
Speaking of windows, the sideview of the Grove's exterior shows there's no window near the front at the right-facing wall, even though the living room has a window at the right. No matter what, the living room is solidly depicted as being in the front-right corner of the house, making this missing living room window the second irreconcilable contradiction we've encountered so far.
Keeping up with windows, the exterior window in the back of the right-facing wall is nowhere to be seen in the actual floorplan, belonging to the kitchen, which has no window on that wall. Furthermore, the side of a neighbor's house is visible in the kitchen window, meaning that wall is side-facing. This means the kitchen is either in the back-left corner or the front-right corner, though the latter is already occupied by the living room, so if anything, the kitchen would be in the back-left.
And, as mentioned previously, there's absolutely no entry to this mysterious hole in the center of the floorplans in any of the interior shots.
Kitchen window inconsistency
Based on these floorplans, it should also be clear that the house stretches back more than it is wide, which doesn't match up well with the outside, where the layout is more square.
Oh, and I left out the biggest inconsistency so far.
You remember that second entry to the kitchen? The one with the door, not the one to the entry hall? The one I assigned to being a direct passage into the living room?
Yeah, there's a whole second hallway beyond there, one we never actually see from within in the show.
Surprise hallway!
So…big oversight on my part there.
With all these big inconsistencies pointed out though, barring the two irreconcilable ones, let's try again, and attempt to work out these kinks.

Second attempt

I'll spare you the same pictures of the rooms again, so let's get to the meat of this second attempt.
Rather than base things off the entryway, let's instead build things up on the ground floor around the kitchen, since that one had the biggest inconsistencies in attempt one.
Well, let's start with putting the kitchen at the left of the house, with the kitchen window facing left. We also still have the downstairs toilet across the hall from the opening, and we now also have this second hallway visible from the other door, which has a corner, if not a T-junction, right where the kitchen door is, and two doors, one for each wall of said corner.
A crude sketch of this arrangement looks like this:
Sketch of kitchen and hallway
We now have a weird mess of hallways and turns, but to further build on this, let's just connect the two bits of hallway we can see into one, which you'll see just below in the final floorplan.
Of course, the location of the entry hallway and the living room doesn't change whatsoever, so let's just go ahead and show my full second attempt:
Floorplans attempt 2
As you can see here, the new kitchen direction with adjacent hallway system, combined with the entryway and living room, fills up quite a bit of floorspace. That, and the downstairs toilet now neatly explains the back-left corner of the living room. Concerning the two additional doors visible in the second hallway, I've assigned one to the pantry, and the other to a small closet containing the breaker box.
The long stretch of hallway parallel to the right of the kitchen did create some empty space between the living room and the pantry, but I filled this up with a proper dining room. This also now happens to be the spot where the chimney/fireplace would be located, which seems very fitting.
The basement does not change in any significant way, besides needing to figure out where the basement stairs are, as the kitchen now occupies the space right behind the entry stairway. As the weird second hallway section seems to extend beyond the windowless kitchen wall, the implied space right beyond the kitchen is turned into the basement stairs. This also turns the whole basement by ninety degrees.
Lastly, there is the upstairs. As the placement of the staircase really does not change, the floorplan of the upstairs is not determined by that of the downstairs. In reality, the floorplan of the first attempt and that of the second attempt here could be interchanged if you fudged the proportions a little. Anyway, for this upstairs I collapsed the Luz Schrodinger's room wave function into the front-left corner state, meaning we're now adhering to the sloped roof visible in Luz's room rather than the desk window. I also gave the one corner that's never actually shown in the show an indent to give some room for the stairs to go up without the ceiling being in the way.
With her room in the front-left, this makes the hallway stretch from left-to-right, also solving that discrepancy discussed with the last attempt. Beyond that, I assigned the three visible doors upstairs to Luz's room, a hallway closet, and the home office (otherwise an empty space), with the shed window now being part of said office, and in the back there's Camila's room, a walk-in closet, and the en-suite bathroom to fill the remaining space.
All in all, a decently put together floorplan, I'd say. Now let's point out what's wrong with this one.

The inconsistencies #2

Let's get the obvious ones out of the way. Luz's desk window now doesn't face the front anymore, but this was one of two irreconcilable contradictions anyway. The other one is the lack of a living room window on the right side of the house, which again can't be fixed.
Speaking of windows, the one in Luz's room, above her low bookshelf, is not visible on the exterior, where only the shed windows are visible. Proportions just won't allow this shed window to belong to Luz's room, unless you fudge with things and make the other room on the front end be much thinner. At least there's now space for a window on the lower right wall near the back, which I added to the bit of hallway that reaches the right wall, between the dining room and pantry.
There are two glaring inconsistencies though, one being the fact the entrance hall no longer matches the one establishing shot, where the kitchen is visibly established as being oriented where its one window is facing the back. This kitchen window both facing the back of the house as well as showing one of the neighboring houses is the third irreconcilable contradiction.
Full entry hallway
The other big inconsistency involves the downstairs toilet, which happens to have a small window on the wall opposite the door. The stars are even visible through it.
Quantum tunneling toilet window
In this layout, this wall is an interior one, with the living room being on the other side. It seems this window is somehow capable of quantum tunneling to the exterior wall, which doesn't sound very realistic. (As an aside, I'll skip on figuring out a floorplan for the actual Owl House, citing magic as my excuse. That, or 'Hooty was feeling a little quirky with his insides that scene' when contradictory shots show up).

Concluding remarks

In general, the Noceda residence is decently well established, and does not have too many irreconcilable contradictions, as hoped for predicted in the introduction. Trust me, other cartoon houses are notorious for being extremely inconsistent in their depictions.

1. Luz's desk window suggests her room plus upstairs hallway stretch front-to-back, but the ceilings of her room and hallway show they stretch left-to-right.
2. The kitchen window is facing left, but the entry hall and kitchen are established to face front-to-back.
3. The living room is established to be in the front-right corner, but the window visible on the right wall is absent on the outside.

Anyway, I'm pretty happy with the two layouts I put together, though I personally prefer the second attempt. Besides the three irreconcilable contradictions, which you'll just have to pick and choose or ignore altogether, there's only three other contradictions here, compared to the five of the first attempt, which included the missing hallway. That, and things just fit together more neatly. I do like how both have at least one loop in them. I can just picture younger Luz doing the human equivalent of zoomies on the ground floor.
So, dear reader who's somehow found this post and read it to the end, which floorplan do you prefer, or think makes more sense? Keep in mind that you can swap the layouts for the upstairs between the two attempts as long as you adjust the proportions a little.
But that's enough out of me. I'll see you once the next side-tangent for fic writing hits and I put too much effort into it to not show it online.

Recently set up a ClearStream MAX-V in the attic. Getting some choppy signals, lots of freezing. The antenna is pointed roughly in the right direction...it's probably 20-30 degrees off optimal, but I don't have a good way to mount it at exactly the right angle...on an exterior wall. It's about as high up as I can mount it too.
My signal strength and signal quality seem decent, but symbol quality jumpas around a lot. I tried attaching the cable coming from the antenna to a powered booster before the HDTV, but that didn't make any difference to any of the three metrics.
I have noticed that messing around with the cable seems to cause problems. Like when I was checking connections (they are all tight), I noticed I lost signal entirely at one point. When I played around with the cable a bit it came back.
Thinking I may get a new cable and try that first. What else might be good to try? LTE filter?
Any help would be appreciated. Not super well versed in troubleshooting.
Here's rabbitears info: https://www.rabbitears.info/s/1336738

I have a house in the Caribbean that's right on the ocean 93ft up on a cliff. It faces North and has a view of a bay frequented by the most expensive super yachts in the world. Here is my requirements list:
1) Stainless steel housing (coated inside & out for rust protection) that can mount to a vertical exterior wall. - It will be anchored into cinderblock and need to withstand hurricane winds. So something not on an arm, but will mount flush to the wall with a large half-dome. Obviously water-proof with an O-ring on the dome and a seal between the base and the wall.
2) PTZ and ability to switch between wide-angle and narrow. This is so I can see the over view without moving it much, but also allow me to zoom in on a target several hundred yards away.
3) I'm going to just stream it straight through my YouTube channel, but I don't want viewers able to adjust the PTZ, only me through the admin cp on the camera. I don't want anything that needs additional software.
4) PoE is nice, but I'll just be plugging this into my ISP provided router which doesn't support it. My modem is just inside the house from where the camera would be mounted so running an Ethernet cable + power is not a big deal. But I'm also considering running just a small PoE injector between the router and the camera. Power outages are super common so I'll be using a quality, new, surge protector.
5) It must have a glass dome and NOT plastic. The brine mist from the ocean is crazy and the lens will need to be wiped down and cleaned often. Plastic will not only get scratched, but will be affected by cleaners and the extreme UV. The UV index is MEGA intense down there.
6) I will mostly likely stream in 1080p but I want to see 4K when I log into it. My internet connection there is actually pretty insane and speeds 4x what I can get in the USA, so upload bandwidth is not an issue. Depending how well it goes, I may go to a 4K stream unless it starts dropping frames. Having a HDR range may help as there are daily rainbows and capturing the amazing sunsets would be nice.
Lastly, I don't want cheap. I'm not looking to drop a grand either. I'd say $600-650 would be my budget. I need this thing to last most than the typical 4-5 years that all other electronics down there do.
Please give me your best suggestions! Thank you!

Hello, I am having new insulation installed in my attic and they are also going to install baffles but they said that my soffits are not open to the attic and that I would need to remove and drill holes to open them up prior to reinstalling (thats not something that they do).
The house is a ranch and measures 30' x 64'. I have a ridge vent installed along the top. I also have triple 4" center vented soffits that extend on average about 24" past the front of the house. Is it possible to achieve the proper ventilation with the current system I have if holes are drilled in the wood behind the soffit? Just based on an online calculator I need 921 sq in. NFVA exhaust and 921 sq in. NFVA intake but I'm not sure what the net free area rating would be of my current soffits. If its possible, how many holes and what size would need to be drilled? I do have mice in the area so not sure if that plays a role in the hole drilling as well.
My handyman whom I trust said he would drill two large holes every other bay on the exterior. Would that be sufficient? Would that pose a potential rodent issue?
He also said he would need to remove the gutter and then the angled metal trim to remove the soffit because the metal trim is so wide on the soffit side (see red circle in pic), that theres no way to bend it back and get at the fastener holding the soffit in place. So that obviously means it would be an expensive job. Is there any easier way to add the sufficient NFVA intake while not looking totally terrible or allowing mice to enter?
Thank you all in advance
https://imgur.com/gallery/2srjXeo

i’m still learning the differences between the AR10, DPMS, and SR25. forgive me.

I'm doing exterior angle theorem and the first problem is (in the triangle) 55 and x (outside) 125. I know that I need to subtract 55 from both sides to get 70, but the second one is (inside) 65 and x, (outside) 2x + 10, how do I figure out x if I can't subtract?? I don't know how to word properly so if you need an image message me please

After 7+ years, I recently picked R6 Siege back up about a month ago and I'm slowly but surely getting back into form. I ran into this scenario the other day and want to see if anyone knows of a way to get around this if at all possible:
Capitao managed to plant while my team was defending. He had planted the bomb in front of an exterior window so he repelled and was holding the defuser angle inverted. He never peaked for a gun fight though, he just kept using his fire arrows to shoot the defuser which, of course, lit up the entire defuser area. I was in site trying to figure out a way to defuse the bomb but the fire damage seems like it would have been too much, it would have killed me before I stuck the defuse.
Was there any way to get around the fire and defuse other than running outside to kill him first? Is there any counter to fire damage in general? It was a great play by him as I was totally denied from basically the start of the defuse timer.