I'm 17 and I've tried to kill myself 3 times by hanging and reason that didn't work is because I don't have a rope, I used an extension cord. I think about suicide every single day every hour only reason I'm even alive still is cause I can't find a method to do it I've tried ordering (won't name it but it's poison) a substance online but couldn't buy it cause I'm not 18 yet ii spend at least an hour a day looking on google earth for a spot to jump and die at but the area I live has no high spots unfortunately so it appears unless I figure out how to hang myself, I'm stuck here until I find a method/spot
so basically how I ruined my life is that I dropped out of high school and have been doing nothing since I'm a failure at everything and have no energy to even go outside I'm not a good person but I'm not a horrible human at the same time I don't understand why I'm even on this earth I don't understand the concept of life or why people who arnt rich even enjoy it I was born into a family that's more towards the non-wealthy side
ever since I was a kid I've never had goals in life funny enough that was a question that was brought up in school a lot I've never been able to answer the most simple things in school for ex. questions like your goals, what you did that day, who are your hero's, favorite shows, random shit like that I've always felt different from everyone else and I know I am, I'm undiagnosed with everything but I'm pretty sure I have many mental illnesses I know for sure I have depression and very very severe social anxiety (I can't handle normal conversations using my voice with people I don't know) I can't even talk to people online with my voice I always just tell them I don't have a mic also I think I might have ocd or something to do with patterns cause I used to be so obsessive with patterns if I didn't end my path on my right foot id half to step off and back on or just go all the way back where I started, and another thing is adhd when I used to go to school I would be so unfocused no matter how hard I tried if I tried my best to focus I would focus too much on the fact that I need to focus and somehow my teacher would explain everything and id be lost
my school life was horrible for me ii want to go back so bad so I can at least have some sort of chance at life, but I know I'd be so miserable I don't even know why it was so bad for me it's not like I got bullied or anything I had friends not close friends but friends I didn't talk to anyone outside of my friends and I never had a girlfriend (I girl liked me once but I walked away because of my social anxiety) I would just sleep through every class until the day I stopped going I missed more than half of freshman year and half of sophomore I went like a month of junior year until I dropped out
it's not like I'm a dumb or horrible looking person idk if it's just me being bias towards myself but I'm decently smart I learn things quickly and I'm average looking but my main flaw is that I've never been able to process the first step in anything it's like the first step in anything is mentally impossible for me to get over. I've always had potential and I think that's what's going to sting the most after i end it
every day after to me seems like an endless loop and I'm stuck in it without a way out I've made some friends online (we all don't speak) but I'm still so miserable I can't do anything I feel like I'm so stuck I've tried to ask my grandpa if I can get tested for adhd but he just said "you can't have it that's when u jump all over the walls and stuff" obv he means people who have a lot of energy and to an extent he's right I do nothing but play games all day to cope with the fact I hate myself if I'm not playing games I'm browsing suicide forums or reddit communities based on suicide I want to get my GED or something but it's like I don't have the energy to make the first steps at all
also this happened recently but I found Vyvanse pills (stimulants for people with adhd) I took 5 (I know I shouldn't have) and I felt so much better like I was actually happy and I felt like I could actually do things (I wasted 4 playing games cause I was a lot better when I took them though) with my last one I actually went outside I didn't go out for a good reason though I had the energy I needed so I went out to check out a cell tower to climb so I could do what the forum name is only reason I didn't do it is cause it was gated but it still gave me motivation to acc do stuff I ordered more Adderall pills online from the dark web after they get delivered I'm going to use them so I have the energy to kill myself.
I honestly don't know why I wrote this I think I just needed to vent it's all over the place but oh well hopefully one of my family members use my pc and read this after I die so they can understand how miserable I was or something
if you have any ideas of how I can get my life back on track lmk.

I (22F) was in a very abusive and toxic relationship for about 3 years. I was abused in every way possible. Every chance he had to make me feel bad about something that happened to me he took it for example I was raped as a child and teenager and when he got mad he would tell me that the guy must have been big because I was bleeding after the event rather than being their to comfort me. Because to him it wasn’t that fact that I was violently raped it’s just they had to be bigger than him. He triggered my trauma by touching me and inserting things into me while I slept not to mention when I would tell him no during sex and he’d still enter me. One time I remember most was when he tried to put it in the back door and I repeatedly said no but he did it anyway I was so hurt and scared that I just laid there until he realized that I wasn’t moving and rather than apologizing and making sure I’m okay he got upset and rolled over because I ruined the mood. Going back to the beginning we started dating in 2019 when I had turned 18 and he was 21. In 2020 he got me pregnant and one day he got unreasonably upset at me for worrying about where he was running off to in the middle of the night and told me “He’d make me lose our baby” and surely enough he kept true to his word and I did lose the baby I remember crying and begging him to comfort me but he was too busy playing the game and talking to his friend at some point he got annoyed with me crying so he left out the room. His actions beat my confidence down and every ounce of personality I had was taken from my very being and I was shell of who I once was by summer of 2021. I think once he saw that he figured that final blow would be to tell me that he fell in love with someone else and I cried but like a fool I still wanted him to comfort me but all he could do was look at me like I was beneath him. Once he chose her only two months in he realized the grass wasn’t greener on the other side and left her to come talk to me looking back on it now I know it was because I was easier to manipulate at the time. We got back together and by 2022 I thought maybe he changed his ways as I was noticing things he did at the beginning of our relationship and things I liked. But soon I would realize how wrong I was he became abusive again but by this point I felt like I had no one but him I had no one to talk to not even family. We had sex although I really didn’t enjoy it I just knew that was the only way I’d be able to keep him in my life and without him I had no one to ones surprise I got pregnant again I was sick and miserable the whole time by this point I started coming to my senses and gaining my sense of self back I knew I couldn’t be in this relationship or be tied to him by having this baby after talking to him and my parents we decided an abortion would be the best but afterwards I was too weak and in pain to travel back home so I stayed at his place until I had the energy to get back on my feet during this stay he got aggressive with me one night in September of 2022 I grabbed something to protect myself in case he came at me and in a rage he snatched it from me flipped me on the bed and punched me his hardest in my face I was bleeding according to his sisters and mom but I couldn’t feel my nose or mouth I just remember walking through the hallways and screaming that he hit me and then I was dragged back to his room where I felt myself fading in and out of consciousness no one called an ambulance no one checked on me I just remember waking up and seeing that while I was going through all the things he was putting me through he was on Reddit telling other girls how sexy they were or how pretty they looked. I like to say I’ve healed from it and I found someone better but from the things I’ve been through sometimes I find myself thinking peace and healing is not enough I need him to suffer like how he made me suffer.
Note: I did not include a lot of the times he hit me or spit on me because this post would be very long I just wrote the parts that were the most traumatic to me. Thank you for reading I just wanted to get this out.

This is a really long story with lots of context so I'll do my best to organize it into current situation, then his backstory and hers. I'm also not using real names or specific locations for any of this to try and keep this private. This also has some contradicting stories and because of how their relationship is structured relies mostly on information I have gotten from my sister, so I'm telling you the story I got from her first and then adding in what I've found out. I'll try to tell this as unbiased as I can but it's been a huge issue in my family for a long time now and that's a little difficult for me to do.
My sister (Olivia, 24F) has been dating this guy (Trevor, 25M) since 2021. When they started dating, she talked about him fairly often, sent a few pictures of them, ect., but then after a month she stopped mentioning him/ was cagey when we (me and my mom mostly) asked how he was so we assumed it just hadn't worked out. Then two months later she insisted that my parents and I all come to visit her college to meet Trevor before he went into the Army (she lived several hours away from my parents and several hours from my college, so I had to get a bus ticket and my parents had to get a hotel room to do this. We only met him once for dinner). Now they've been dating long distance for three years after a three month in-person relationship. She is in nursing school and is planning on moving across the country (literally opposite corners of the map) to live with him and is not applying to any residency programs outside of the Army base area (limiting her choices a LOT from her original goals and narrowing employment opportunities).
Olivia met Trevor on several dating apps, matched with him, but didn't really want to go out with him. He was really persistent, so her friend convinced her to go out with him. She lied about the way they met to our parents and told them they met at the gym through a mutual friend (she lied to me about this at first too and told me the truth about 3 months after they started dating). At the time, Trevor was working as a used car salesman and living at home (~45 min. away from Olivia's school in a rural area) because his sports scholarship had been dropped before his Senior year due to covid at the college he had been attending out of state. The university was unaccredited (I later did some internet stalking and found out it was accredited), so his credits would not transfer and he would have to start over. He was saving up money to attend school in state at the large college Olivia attended so he could go back to school. **Our state has crazy low tuition costs in-state and a full-tuition scholarship program for good high school GPA and SAT scores. There was also a "feeder" community college that had half the cost per credit hour that a lot of people would go to before the larger university if they didn't get in straight out of high school.**
Olivia told me that Trevor had applied to her college and not gotten in (she later told me he HAD gotten in but been unable to afford tuition). Either way, he decided to join the Army because his father had been in the Army. The Army would take his credit hours and he would be able to finish his degree during his 5 year contract or use the GI bill once he got out. **She is comparing the situation to our father, who joined the Army directly out of high school and used the GI bill to go to college after his 2 year contract because his parents wouldn't pay for school. He was a medic in the military, worked as an EMT through college, and then went to nursing school.** The original plan was that Trevor would be a Green Beret (special forces, linking the training pipeline here: https://www.reddit.com/greenberets/comments/xwdbta/current_sf_pipeline_correct_me_if_im_wrong/ ), he completed basic training and and got several months through the NC training before failing the running portion of a physical by about 10 seconds and being dropped from the selection process. He then decided that he wanted to be a Ranger (another elite position). He got sent back to GA, then to the Ranger school base in WA (it took a couple of months before he was sent to WA). Again, he got partway through the training before failing the running portion of a physical by a few seconds. He is now not sure if he will be continuing Ranger school (failing the physical means no, but commanders may pass him anyways if they think he should continue). For a while, Trevor told Olivia that he might not stay at the base in WA if he wasn't in Ranger school and there were a variety of different bases he could be sent to, including somewhere in Italy, so she wasn't sure where to look for jobs. In the past month, Trevor told Olivia that he would likely stay in WA regardless of the Ranger school results.
Through this all, Olivia has visited Trevor at the different military bases countless times, driving from as far as south FL to NC and putting over 30,000 miles on a brand new car over the course of the 1.5 years she's owned it. Before she had the car, she paid for plane tickets to see him and hotels whenever she visited. At the time, she told me that he was paying for all of these trips because he was unable to visit her, was making an income that wasn't being spent, and she was working to save for nursing school and later was living off of student loans and savings during nursing school. She later admitted to me that she had paid for almost all of the expenses except for food when they ate out together and part of a hotel room one weekend.
A few odd things (to me) between Olivia and Trevor over the course of their relationship:
About a month into their relationship, Trevor got Olivia an over $300 christmas gift. He has not gotten her anything nearly that expensive since, and hasn't sent flowers for things like her college graduation or a severe emergency surgery she had last year. I don't care about monetary value or sending flowers, but I do think it is odd that he spent so much before moving away when he ostensibly didn't have much money, but now that he has an income and military sign-on bonus, he has not spent that much again.
Trevor's father left Trevor, his siblings, and his mother, but Trevor has a hat that his father gave him that he wore often. The hat says "Red Man" across the top of a picture of a Native American man wearing a feathered headdress. He has worn this hat several times around Olivia's friends and they told him they didn't like it and that it was racist. They also asked him to not wear it when he was with them and he refused because it was special to him and his father gave it to him. Olivia then told him to stop wearing it and he eventually agreed (Olivia told me that he stopped wearing the hat after this). A few weeks after this, I facetimed Olivia and Trevor was with her. She turned the camera so I could say hello to him, and he was wearing the hat. I talked to Olivia about this later and she told me that that was the first time he'd worn the hat in a while and it wasn't a big deal. Olivia has always been liberal and never racist, and I am uncomfortable that she was okay with him not only wearing the hat, but being with him while he had it on.
They dated for a little over 3 months in person before he joined the military (recently, Olivia told me that they actually met several months before she told everyone about him and that they actually dated for 6 months before he left). For the next two months in basic training, he was only able to use the phone for 15 minutes total once a week to talk to family and her. Throughout the different training programs he has completed he had sporadic and limited access to phones to communicate, and only in the past 6 months he has had access to his phone to facetime, text, and call (but sometimes he goes for a week or two without phone access). Olivia told me that they wrote letters during the time he didn't have consistent phone access. **I don't think that this is odd, I understand the military limits phone usage, etc., but I don't think they have been able to have an "average" long-distance relationship**
Last year, Olivia drove to GA to visit Trevor the weekend before Valentine's day. He had plans for them to take a pottery class, go on a hike, and have dinner at a nice restaurant. The day she got there, Trevor's barracks had their off-base privileges revoked because one of the guys had contraband. She would still be able to visit him on base though. Somehow, Trevor was able to get off base for long periods of time to her hotel, but unable to do the other activities he had planned for them.
In the past year, Olivia told me that she and Trevor were going to immediately marry when she got to WA so that they could move in together because they had to be married to live together anywhere. I and our dad- who was in the military- told her several times that this was not true, but she insisted it was. Then, his barracks were given an allowance to live off base in apartments because the barracks were being renovated/ rebuilt, so she backed off on the idea of getting married immediately after several long conversations with me. She is still insistent on moving in with Trevor, who lives with a roommate, when she moves to WA.
Some background on Olivia:
Olivia has ADHD and anxiety, and struggled particularly badly with the anxiety/ some depression after being broken up with by the boyfriend she dated before Trevor (he broke it off very abruptly, told her he just didn't love her anymore with no previous indications). Olivia is very pretty (objectively, not just because she's my sister), but had bad acne that she ended up going on accutane for at the time she started dating Trevor and was very insecure about it. She had also decided to not go to medical school, and pursue nursing instead around the same time she met Trevor. This was a very upsetting decision for her because she had been taking very hard courses and was burnt out but had told everyone she was going to be a doctor and thought that she would be letting us down by switching paths. Also around the time she started seeing Trevor, Olivia began being very cruel towards our mother (our mother had been borderline emotionally abusive in the past, but Olivia and I were both in college by then and fixing our relationships with her. She has been much better recently and Olivia and I believe that she had some mental health struggles that went unchecked that contributed). Now, several years later, Olivia told our family that she had acted like that because she was raped by a friend of her ex-boyfriend's after her ex broke up with her. This person also gave her an STD.
I always believe people who say they have been sexually assaulted, abused, or harassed, and we believed Olivia when she first told us, but some things have come to light that make me and my family question that. Right after Olivia and her ex broke up, Olivia told our cousin that she had gone out with one of his friends and had revenge/ breakup sex with him because he had also been dumped recently. Once my cousin told me this, I remembered that Olivia had told me about a guy she had a one night stand with after she was dumped. She showed me a picture of him, talked about how cute he was, etc. (no distress whatsoever). I know sometimes people behave in ways you wouldn't expect when a traumatic event occurs to them, but I really don't understand how or why Olivia would brag about this guy if he really did sexually assault her.
Three months ago, Olivia was arrested for stealing a set of sheets from Walmart. She used the self check-out and only bought a small $5 item and the sheets. She held both in one hand and scanned each side because she had a cut on the other hand and was holding her wallet with it. She saw a 5 in front of the total number and thought it looked right because the total should have been about $50, paid, didn't get a receipt, and walked out. An employee at the door asked to see a receipt, which Olivia didn't have, so she pulled up her transaction history on her phone to show she had paid. At this point, the employee called the police and took Olivia into an office, where she was questioned and charged with shoplifting. (Olivia can get very emotional and probably got upset when the police questioned her, which may have led them to believe she was lying). Luckily, Olivia has managed to get the charges expunged, but the process is still ongoing. Because of her ADHD, if anyone genuinely made this mistake, I would believe it from her, but Olivia has been improving a lot on organization and being more attentive recently. It is extremely uncharacteristic of her to steal- she was honest to a fault as kids- she would break down from guilt and admit things to our parents that we would have gotten away with if she hadn't said anything.
Right now, my parents have met Trevor twice in person, and I've met him once in person and several times in passing over facetime. I personally don't think that Trevor seems to keep up with my sister or that they make each other shine, and that opinion is shared with family friends and family that have met Trevor. Olivia doesn't mention Trevor in front of our parents often because his name has become a topic of contention and argument between them. My parents don't think Trevor is right for Olivia. She has almost 2 college degrees and plans to become a nurse practitioner in the future, and he hasn't finished college and doesn't seem to have any drive to do so. Olivia is also well traveled and enjoys going to museums, concerts, etc., while Trevor has lived in rural FL his whole life (this is not Trevor's fault, and I don't think he is a lesser person because of it, but I don't see a lot of common ground between them). Trevor has not seemed very well spoken when I have talked to him and I just don't see a lot of qualities in him that Olivia values.
If you've gotten this far, I just don't know what to do. Olivia and my parents have a huge rift in their relationship right now and any mention of Trevor, with her around or not, explodes into a huge argument, discussion, or just icy silence. I want Olivia to be able to talk to me about him, and we are able to discuss things much better than she is with our parents. My parents have also started asking me about Olivia and Trevor because they know Olivia shares more with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to betray Olivia's trust, but I'm also very worried about her. I know I can't control her actions and I'm having a really hard time trying to balance supporting Olivia but not supporting the relationship (I'm not going to lie to her about how I feel, but I don't want her to feel alienated or unloved by our family, because that is NOT the case). I also think that Olivia is romanticizing the fact that our parents don't like him because my father's parents had a rift with him over our mother when we were very young (this is a whole other story, but basically, his parents always favored his sister, his sister got (I think) jealous when he did well for himself and married my mother, who his parents initially likes, and she made up rumors/lies about my mother that turned his parents against her (this was way before our mother's suspected mental health struggles, which occured when Olivia and I were in middle/high school).
Please share any thoughts you have on the situation (am I reading too into things, is this not as bad as I think it is?), and any advice you have on navigating the relationships.

guys I need your advice, but sorry if it's weird because english isn't my first language but i'm trying my best to explain. here's the story : we've become close too soon (after weeks knowing online we started crushing each other). we live in different country so we had a Long Distance Relationship and all the time we just texting, not even a call since he refused it because he said he's a shy man. I thought he lied, but then i know this person is truly shy-nerd kind of guy. anyways, it's his first time for having a feeling on someone (me) after years being secret admirer to previous girl that ended up married to another man. but he said he moved on so he's ready for the new person. at the beginning he was a bit more talkative, one day he asked me what should he do when he had a feeling on someone and I told him to tell the person, suddenly he told me that he had feeling on me. at first my feeling isn't that big for him, but I know that I'm also into him. but I tried my best to give my time for him, talk to him, care for him, etc. after couple weeks, he began to ghost me slowly. he replied after hours and sometimes even days. I thought he was busy with his job, so I don't think too much. he's also not talk openly to me, I'm just having hard time trying to understand him. we just having nice time to talk on weekend when he doesn't work. my limit of patience is come when on saturday noon, he said he wanted to hang out with his friend, he didn't tell me the details and I thought it will seem desperate for me to ask him the details. but since he left me that day with no text until almost late night, I text him randomly and sarcastically, "how's the date?". I didn't even think that he hang out with a woman, because he's a shy person, there's no way a shy guy has the courage to ask a girl out. and he replied "I can explain, we're just friends. I'll let u know when I come home". that time I know he's out there with another woman. I just replied "ok, enjoy the day". I'm shock, my heart scattered. how can he spend the whole day hang out with a girl when he said he's a total introverted and shy person who doesn't even like to talk much and being outside. even he came home after midnight. what's the worse possible things could happen between them enjoying the whole day and he left me all alone. or am I the selfish one here?. I think it's a lie to him that he said she's just a friend to him. I think he secretly like her or he just deny that feeling. a day after that he didn't text me, he said he's busy with a family event. since that I didn't reply to him at all. comparing of how he spent his time with his 'friend' and how he spent it with me, I think he's just not really into me. am I right? so I ghosted him slowly. he text me again after days just to send me a link about random article. but I ignored him bcs I was confused. he didn't text me anymore since that day and it's been a week. but Idk should I text him a good bye or just move on without a text? is it rude to leave without a 'good bye' when we started it with a 'hello'? I don't wanna seem desperate, but I also don't wanna be rude. also I think our romantic story seems too childish for this old age, either because we both just shy or he just not really into me. Thanks for your advices, God bless you all

Context, I live in Sydney Australia and we’re about to go into winter here. When we first moved into this house at the start of March, we got a general pest control which included baiting the roof for rodents.
Fast forward to mid-April, and we started hearing scratching sounds in the roof and walls which I believed was mice based on previous places I’ve lived. We got the pest control guy back in, and he did another inspection of the roof. All the baits were gone and he noticed rat droppings in the roof cavity. He did a much heavier bait installation in the roof and also put some bait stations around the perimeter of the house. He couldn’t see any obvious entry points in the roof cavity.
After this, we didn’t hear anything in the roof for about 2 weeks and then once again heard the scratching sounds and footsteps directly above our heads in the ceiling (this was last week). Also heard some running sounds on some planks of wood on our driveway late at night, quickly looked outside to see something with a big fluffy black tail hide under my car.
Called pest control and he said it’s unlikely they would’ve eaten all the bait already, and said to keep an eye on it. We haven’t gone up into the roof cavity ourselves to check just yet. He said it could also be a brushtail possum (hence the big black fluffy tail) but tbh they’re a lot bigger than rats and the footsteps and scratching in our ceiling didn’t sound like they were coming from a cat sized animal.
Haven’t heard the ceiling noises since last week however just now, in broad daylight, I heard something running on top of the carport outside. Quickly went outside and looked up in time to see the shadow of an animal with a skinny tail running across it and out of site onto our roof. ☹️
My questions are, do we have a huge rat infestation living somewhere on our property, is it likely our roof baits have been all eaten already after 2 weeks, do we need to top them up constantly to get rid of the rats, or what else can we do to get rid of them? I’m terrified they’re going to somehow make their way into the house next. I refuse to go into the roof cavity myself, and my husband keeps putting it off - he doesn’t think it’s a major issue apparently and reckons they’ll go away soon, and is rarely home during the day due to his work.

I am writing this because my friend told me I should start journaling about my situation. My situation is not too uncommon but I need to get this off my chest. I was recently in a relationship that lasted for 1 year. The break up literally tore me apart because he did everything he was supposed to do from spending time to going on dates. He was so engaging that we would have never ending conversations. We related on so many levels. As we got to know each other we developed what I now see as unhealthy behaviors. He was in a profession that allowed him to make his own schedule, I was in a profession that allowed me to take off time but I was unable to make up the hours missed. All of that was ok because we made plans on how to get right financially. He lived with his parents which was ok. We planned that he would move in with me because I own my house and if we went together on the mortgage it would be less for both of us so we could get our financial situations together. I loved hanging out with him so much that I began to make my schedule reflect his. Essentially working part time. I had a bad habit of drinking that i often told him I didn't want to bring into our relationship. He agreed but then developed the same habit. We had so much fun together.. drunk. I hated it and loved it at the same time. Out of 365 days we were together 350, he never gave me no clue of cheating.. so l thought. One day we got drunk together... of course.. and he passed out on my couch. While he was out I was still up drinking. I reached down the couch and felt his phone... my first thought was.. let me see if I know his code. First code I put in ...correct. Me still clueless I go to his text messages thinking I won't find anything, this man didn't play about me. I scroll through and I see mostly clients, then I see a text that says "I love you" I open it. Scroll back over the whole year we had been together and see that he was planning a future from moving in together to having kids with this woman I now know to be one of his exes F/30... I could not breathe. I then go to his Snapchat and see conversations with a woman named Laura, again another ex.. I scroll though it and the whole year the same thing, planning a future from moving in together to having kids another F/30.. at this point I'm almost on my death bed.. question... What do I do?
TL;DR;: he left me. For his exes. I think I messed up. Is this going the right way?

Hey all, I just finished the end of the Netflix series and I'm hella confused and almost dissatisfied (loved the series tho). I have a few questions about the series that one of you guys might have the answer to. First off, when the doctor looked at Baki's brain why was it so crazy, and why was his brain like a demon even tho the show never covered it after, second I don't understand what that "the food was a bit salty" thing was about. Third why was Baki told he was the strongest when the ogre obviously won, and why did the ogre go from an awful human being to a good dad in like 2 minutes? If all this is answered in the movie sorry and also sorry if this is the wrong sub Reddit for these questions. (Also the boxing filler episodes were odd)

I currently (40M) had my ex (35F) completely destroy our relationship while I was working out of town for a few months. This happened a year ago and wish I had these stories as a resource while going through it. I have just started to use Reddit and been reading the experiences of others here and have decided to share my story in hopes it will maybe help others. That way some good may come from some of the worst times of my life.
A little backstory for context for the story and insight to some of the decisions I made. When I turned 30 I left the major city in my Province (it is like a state if you are an American) because buying just a simple house is over a million dollars and I don't make near enough to afford that. My goal was to move to somewhere more rural to buy a house, meet someone, get married and have a child or two. It was my only dream I had and believed I could attain it. I lived out in the bush on my step dads property in a run down trailer I bought so I could save money for the first 3 years. I had my dog but the loneliness of living in the middle of nowhere had got to me. By then I had saved a fair amount of money, so I decided to move into the town. It was nice, it cut my commute down by 40 minutes, I had started to make a few friends and no longer felt so isolated. It was through my friends I met my future ex. Let's call her Kali. She had a long term boyfriend when we first met. Their relationship ended a couple of years after meeting her and we started dating a few months after.
We mostly had a great relationship for the next 4 years. The only thing was it was on again off again. She would dump me after I did anything really special for her for a week and beg me to take her back. It was like clockwork. I used to think it was because of her depression and that she didn't believe she deserved to be truly happy. Nowadays I actually think she might have been cheating the whole time and just felt guilty about it when I did nice stuff for her but I will never know the truth. I don't care what the reality is anymore anyway, Time has a funny way of making stuff like that irrelevant. We did have one bigger break of about 5 months. When it happened I took time off work to travel in my RV the whole time. From spring to summer. I really didn't like the town I lived in and decided to use that time to check out the rest of my Provence to figure out where I wanted to restart my life. She was basically the only reason I stayed for so long. I did have a decent job and family close by but most people I met there were not good people. Lots of drug users, liars, and general scumbags. I had only a few real friends there. After I got back and had decided where I was going to move to she had decided she wanted me back. She begged me to stay and be with her. She told me that she wanted to get serious. We started making real progress about getting married, having kids and looking at buying a house. Everything was coming up Milhouse and I couldn't be happier. So You can probably guess this is when my tale becomes interesting for you and life got real bad for me.
My career is seasonal. I work from spring to the end of fall and can go on unemployment insurance or find work. My dad had asked if I could help on his farm breeding horses that winter when I had still planned to leave my town. I had promised him that I would because it would give me a place to stay before people in my field of work would be looking for employees. This had been agreed upon before me and Kali had got back together. Now I have always been a man of my word. It's something I take great pride in. I have always hated liars. I don't mind a little embellishment to make a story more fun or if two people's stories are different as long as they both believe that was how the events happened. Everyone remembers things slightly off. She was upset that I had intended to keep my word to my dad but I had every second weekend off. The town my dad is in was only a 2 hour drive. So I told her I would be back twice monthly for weekends and that it would only be for 4 months. For the first two months everything seemed fine. During this time I started to look at rings to pop the question and booked an expensive spa for two days in May to propose. There was only one weird thing that happened during the first two months. On one of my visits she confided in me that her brother's wife had cheated on him and that their newborn baby was most likely not his. I was shocked that she not only knew but didn't plan to tell him. She said she didn't want to tell him for fear of breaking up the family. I told her that he has the right to know and that she was being a bad sister by knowing and not telling him. I also informed her if he found out she knew and didn't say anything that he would most likely kick her out of his life. She made me swear I wouldn't tell him. Even though I thought it was wrong I did agree to not say anything. It did get me wondering how she could not only not tell him but stay friends with someone that could do that to her brother. I think that's when I started to question her morals. The third month she asked that I didn't come out because she was "sick". I told her I didn't care, I could still come out and take care of her. She convinced me that she didn't want me to come so I just worked on the farm instead. I switched weekends so I could come out the next instead of in two weekends. The weekend she was "sick" her phone was off the whole time, lasting into the week. She told me her phone went through the washing machine. She was actually on a bender but I didn't learn that till later.
So I head out the following weekend. As soon as I arrive I start getting super sketchy vibes. I was already weirded out about the stuff with her brother and ghosting me for 4 days as we talked/texted multiple times a day normally. At first she acts great to me, cooks me steak and we go out to the bush to have a fire in the snow. At the fire she really started drinking heavily. She then mentions a guy she had been hanging with lets call him Brad. So alarm bells start going through my head. We go back to her house and she keeps drinking. I wanted to keep a clear head so I only had three beers all evening. She put her phone down unlocked because of how drunk she was and I took it to the bathroom with me to look up texts between them. I felt so guilty for doing it at first but once I see the text between the two of them the guilt is replaced with rage. I go to her room to confront her and she breaks down. First, how dare I go through her phone, this never would have happened if I would have broken my promise to my dad, nothing really happened between them, blah, blah, blah. I was furious and drove off. She blows up my phone the whole time. I don't answer. Ten minutes after I left her mother called me. She lives at her moms house. I took the call and her mom said she is freaking out and has harmed herself. I decide to go back and she has a bandage wrapped around her arm. Her mom hid all the sharp objects she could find. She was having a full on panic attack and begs me to not leave. I told her I would stay if she told me the truth. She admits to hooking up with him one time just that last weekend when she asked me not to come out. It kind of matches the messages and I believe her. I stay there till she falls asleep. Once she does I send Brad a text saying that she has a boyfriend with some screen shots of our conversations me and her have had that week. I was about to drive back to the farm when the dude called her phone. I pick up the call and tell him I am her boyfriend. He asks if that was a joke and I assure him it is not. He said he didn't know and actually apologized. I tell him that I'm pissed but if he didn't know I couldn't blame him. I should have asked him more questions but I was tired, not thinking straight and just wanted to go back to the Farm even though it was two am by this point. I get home and crash. Turned my ringer off because I know once she wakes up she will start calling like crazy. After getting the horses in for the night I decided to look at my phone for the first time all day. Around thirty missed calls and a ton of texts. I decide I need another day before I talk to her. Now while the whole day all I can think about is that it was just one time, she seems to be genuinely remorseful about it, how I'm 39 and really want children before I get too old. I took a call from her the next day on Sunday in the morning. She is still wasted. She hadn't stopped drinking since I was there Friday. We talk and I tell her that I am really upset but am willing to give us another chance. I still was in love with her and wanted to have kids, get married and buy a house with her. It was the dream I felt I worked so hard for. She was so happy I took her back and swore to me nothing like this would ever happen again. Basically I was a fool lol.
So I decided on my next set of days off to borrow my stepdads summer home on the river so we can have the place to ourselves. I grab food that she loves so I can cook her dinner and try to make it very romantic. I want to rekindle my love with her so I wanted to go all out on an amazing weekend. I pick her up and she is already a little drunk. I kind of wanted to hang sober but I don't wanna mess up with her so don't say anything thinking we can do a sober day when I take her out to go shopping and dinner the next day. When we get there she gets hammered. Kali had brought a big of bottle fireball on top of a bunch of white claws. I again didn't really drink that night. Once she was drunk and tired I carried her to the bed. As Kali is in my arms she looks up at me and says in slurred words "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Joe" I ask "what did you just say?". "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Brad" she replied. I put her to bed and my mind starts racing. Now her ex before me has a really close name to the one she said first but I also know she has a friend named Joe I only met a couple of times. They were not close or even hung out but were more like acquaintances. I go in her purse to look at her phone again but the battery is dead and I can't find her charger. I have an Iphone so I can't charge it up to look. I didn't sleep that well that night with everything going on in my head. I woke up at 6 am to her being very loud on the phone. I went out to the living room and she had drank all the booze left over from the night before. I ask her who she was on the phone with and she tells me an uber to leave. I ask why is she going to leave? Kali tells me she is upset that I tried to get into her phone. Guess I didn't put it back in her purse. Must have been out of sorts and forgot. I tell her I can drive her once I go to the washroom and get some clothes on. I go to do that, come out of the washroom to see Kali has already left. She was so drunk that she had left half her stuff behind. I decided to have breakfast before bringing her stuff to her house. After breakfast I packed her stuff into my SUV and noticed it had snowed that night. I could see her footprints out into the driveway. While Dropping off her stuff I noticed there were no footprints leading to her house, so I tried calling Kali. No answer. I left her stuff in the snow and decided to drive by her brothers and sisters house to see if there were footprints going into any of their houses but there were none. I sent her a nasty text about knowing she didn't go home, to go be with Brad or Joe or whoever and never call me again. It was a lot more profane than that but that's the gist of it. Cleaned up the house my stepdad lent me and back off to the farm yet again. The next day she blows up my phone and again I wait another day to talk to her. She tells me that she went home but I know that can't be true from the snow, but she says I must have been mistaken. She apologizes for getting drunk and leavening and that she is going to stop drinking after her birthday in two weeks. She has rented a hotel in the town I'm in for her birthday and wants to spend it with me. I agree just because I have to know the truth and want to look at her phone to make sure I am not crazy. She had gaslit me to the point I was questioning what I saw with my own eyes. A couple of days later I decided to send Joe a message on Facebook to see if he would give me the truth. I get a text from her telling me not to bug her friend and that she is embarrassed. I apologize and tell her I am excited about her birthday soon.
The weekend of her birthday comes so I go to meet her at the hotel. She brought her sister and other friend along. It actually is a really fun time. The girls did coke the first night into the second evening. I don't really like it but I figured she can let loose especially if she is going to stop drinking after her birthday. I also knew by Saturday night that they would all crash hard so it would give me time to look at her phone so I could know the truth. As I mentioned the weekend was really fun so I felt bad about going into her phone yet again. I did it anyway and my whole world came crashing down. Now I figured that I would maybe see Brad or Joe texts and Facebook messages. Seemed like Brad was done but Joe and her were totally hooking up. I also found out that she had slept with 3 other guys. I also saw she was using coke all the time now. She did it maybe three times a year when we dated but now it was every weekend. It looked like she started using regularly right before I left for the farm. Joe helped get it for her too, out of all the guys he was the one she hung with the most. Turns out he was also a meth head who was trying to quit for her. She also went to his house the morning she left the other weekend to hook up and buy coke. I was floored. I just staired and took screen shots till the early morning. I decided I wasn't just going to dump her but I wanted to ruin her life not realizing she was already doing that all by herself but hindsight is 20 20. So I started coming up with a plan of what I was going to do. I woke up the next morning and acted like everything was fine and went back to the farm. I was still so upset and didn't want to harm myself or others so had a family friend take my firearms for a while. I don't think I would have used them on myself or others but I knew I wasn't thinking clearly and didn't want them in my house while I was like that.
I didn't have to see her till I moved back because the next set I had off I had tickets for a concert in the city I used to live in. During that time all I thought about was how I was going to do something to ruin her life. I came up with some small things but my main plan was to pretend like we were fine and ghost her when my contract was up with my boss next winter. I had promised him another year after kali and I had gotten back together. Just typing it out makes me look back and cringe that I was so crazy. When I went to the city for the concert I told my best friend, my brother and a few others my plan. No one liked it and thought I should just go no contact, cut her straight out of my life. That probably was the smart thing to do but emotion was clouding my judgement. Also you all would get this story. They even informed me that because I would be lying to her, that I would be compromising my morals and turning into a worse person they didn't recognize. I either didn't see it that way or care. I have a hard time recalling what my brain was thinking during that time. All seems like a haze now that it's been a year. I think I was really upset that my dream and all I had worked for was ruined. A friend later said I may have been in love with the dream and not her. Maybe that's the reason I kept up all this insanity.
My time on the farm had come to an end and I was moving back to the town me and my ex lived in. I was set with my plan, excited to implement it and have what I considered just. But you know what they say of the best laid plans. My ex wanted to go to hang at her brothers as a welcome home party. I went but ended up drinking. Heavily drinking, to the point of black out. I don't remember much from that night but have had it recounted for me. I woke up in the drunk tank. Guess I couldn't lie and play it cool then huh? The story I was told later is, while at her brothers I had gotten drunk and loud. Kept waking up the new baby and we were asked to leave. So we caught a cab and I confronted her in the cab but all I could do was call her a lying, cheating, whore on repeat. She got upset and ran into the house locking me out. I had a bunch of my stuff in her house so I went to the door and demanded she let me in. All the while still only referring to her as the aforementioned 3 words. She told me to leave but my jacket and wallet were inside. It was below freezing at night still and probably wouldn't have made it home in the state I was in. I then kicked in her door to keep calling her LCW and grab my stuff. She was on the phone to the police, so I was taken away by them. One of the lowest points in my life. It still brings me so much shame to this day but it is what happened and I am not going to sugar coat it. I never laid a finger on her and I am so happy that I hadn't. Laying hands on women in that way is one of the scummiest things a man can do. I had to go back to her house once they let me out because my stuff was still there. I apologized to her mom who had been at her boyfriends that evening promising to repair the door for her. Kali begged me to talk to her and like an idiot I didn't just leave. I told her I saw everything and she only admitted to Brad and Joe. Lying about them and the others the whole time. Even when I brought up the screen shots she still couldn't come clean. I left just shaking my head. There is still a ton to this story but this is long enough. I could do a part 2 if there is interest. Catching you folks up to where I am now and the messed up things that happened in between.

Me (31F) and this guy (32M) have been hanging out since early January.
Unintentionally, we’ve only being hanging out with each other. I’ve matched with and talked to other men on dating apps, but never get past conversation or attempting at making plans for various reasons.
Anyways, me and this guy have great chemistry in and out of the bedroom. Conversation is always really smooth and easy, and we’ve both admitted that we compliment each other well and do like each other.
He works a pretty demanding job and he’s also a great dad to a 13 year old girl. His time is limited and we’ve always worked around this and manage to see each other over the last 5 months.
Now that we’re approaching the 6 month mark of this undefined hanging out, I want to make my wants known. Not in a begging or desperate way, but I wanna state everything with confidence. If he feels the same, great. If not, then I can walk away knowing I said my piece.
How have you approached these types of situations in a heteronormative interaction?
I’m going on a 2 week trip at the end of the month and will have this talk with him when I get back in the middle of June.
Any advice and insight on your experiences would be appreciated!

I love my inlaws, however, I know they trigger tf out of my husband after just a couple of hours. They're great in small doses. They just moved back to the Philippines for retirement. However, they come back for 3-4 months at a time twice a year... April-July and November-January.
Trust me - I know.... it doesn't make a ton of sense.
They have always rented their home from my MILs brother. They also rented it for over 10 years for FAR under what her brother has to pay in mortgage, taxes, etc. The uncle has lost so much money in being generous with my MIL & FIL rents of the house... they moved, and inlaws are pressuring us to buy the house so they can A) keep their stuff there (his dad is a hoarder.) B) live in the basement during these long visits.
I WANT to buy the house, or even rent it for a little bit, but at a price we worked out with his uncle that would put him into about a $300 profit each month. We can easily afford it, and feel we benefit from the house, but also they benefit by finally seeing some positive revenue - but my inlaws fully expect to keep that their HQ when they come home so frequently. It would be a purchase with some baggage...
My husband said it absolutely won't happen. 2 weeks max. But... they will not take that kindly. Since he's been in his later 30s he has stood up to certain things with his mom and dad and his mom always says "What has happened to my son?" And lays the guilt on heavy. (He doesn't buckle though)
We have been brainstorming the conversation of "You can stay for short windows, but you are not leaving your stuff in the house and treating this like your home when you are back in the US. It's our home. Boundaries." But keep feeling helpless.
Open to any insight... we want this to be a good conversation and have them respect our boundaries. If they overstayed with us, my husband would certainly grow to resent them more than he already does and it would be awful.

My boyfriend has this close friend that I’m not friends with and he hangs out with her any time we’re not together. Everyone including my bf thinks she might have feelings for him and she’s even hinted at it herself. I’m extremely uncomfortable with them hanging out together alone SO often, he’ll text me while theyre together and it feels so weird. He hasnt tried to hide this from my whatsoever and its not that i dont trust him. I know hes not gonna do anything with her and doesnt have feelings for her. But this girl has overstepped my boundaries and said things that you shouldnt say to a guy you know has a gf?? i’m considering breaking up with him over this because he refuses to do anything about it. if they hung out together outside and with other friends that fine but theyre always alone at her apartment or his?? Thats so weird to me. we’e been dating for 8 months.
I mainly want opinions on if i’m just being fucking crazy and need therapy to work through this, or if this is normal to feel in these circumstances? sorry for formatting im on my phone

I have a Master's Degree in Business Administration and decided that the white collar life is not for me. I'm working in a nice restaurant and this man about my age came in with his mother. They were very chatty and nice. The guy kept talking about his dogs that had passed away, which became awkward after awhile to keep up the conversation with him. First, he asked if he could buy me a dessert to take home, which I declined. After he paid, his mother got up to go to the bathroom and he asked if it would be bad if he asked me out. I didn't know what to say, so he asked if he could give me his number. He gave me a piece of paper that had his number and it said "text me, I don't bite". He also left his credit card in the check presenter, which I gave to my manager.
I was not at all attracted to this man, but my coworker suggested that I take him up on a dinner date to get a free dinner and she said, you never know, he might turn into a good friend. Thoughts?

I need advice. Wife drank today before driving my two kids
For a few months I have started realizing that my wife drinks more than I believe is safe and acceptable. Drinking 1-2+ bottles a night, most days a week.
She would get noticeably drunk one or two nights a week, sometimes to the point of her not remembering everything or even making sense when I would try to talk to her.
Needless to say I’ve been attempting to help her. Tried setting some boundaries and asked her not to drink two nights a week and never more than a bottle or whatever she was drinking before.
She couldn’t do it, and I started realizing she had been hiding it from me. Drinking during day when I’m at work, hiding bottles of wine in trash and making no trace of her drinking.
I have had a few ‘blow ups’ with empty threats at this point hoping she would come around, and thought things were ok for the last week or two but today happened….
I found she had drank 3/4 a bottle of wine before 2pm, and drove our 10mo old out to pick up our 4 year old from school and out for errands.
Never have I thought she would cross this line (obviously my fault..) and I have been furious and confused all afternoon.
She doesn’t understand the problem, doesn’t want to accept that I am as mad as I am for some reason.
What do I do?
I threatened to leave with the kids or have her leave, but she isn’t phased. I don’t want to cause huge problems for our family and bring others into this.
I am at a loss for what to do, and she keeps turning it around on me like I am the bad guy watching over her shoulder.

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU 6
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NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
RECAP
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.  
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.  
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.  
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.  
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.  
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.  
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!  
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.  
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.  
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!

OOP: He'll be able to, I just know it. He's used to dealing with the wildlife and having hawks about, but he just wasn't expecting one to snag a meal right from his new feeder.
I told him it was "technically" still a bird feeder. Just....for bigger birds. Which he thought was funny. He said he might make a little "no hawks allowed" sign to put up next to it.

MissOP: keep the updates coming. the moms are so close to folding it's just a little bit more. LMAO also, the bro mance between your husband and brother is so cute. lol Honestly, I think your husband making sure he has a side piece of Sebastian is absolutely the play.

OOP: So far still no word from the moms, but I hope you're right. I would love an apology and for us to begin moving past this. But I NEED that apology. I feel selfish saying that, but I refuse to "be the bigger person" on this. I just won't.
As for my brother and husband, yeah, they're basically soul mates. The two hit it off immediately when they first met, and they've been thick as thieves for years.  

Update: February 27, 2024
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!  
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?

OOP: I don't think mom thought too far ahead. I believe she assumed it would all just magically work out the way she wanted it to. She said she wasn't sure what she was expecting to happen (which I think was a lie, but I wasn't going to push it).

mak_zaddy: This was a great update! But ummmmmm no stardew valley update? What gives? Has Sebastian been woo’ed? How’s Leah? What’s happening?

OOP: Sebastian has indeed been wooed (and whoohooed) There's kids and cows and chickens. The two are still having a wonderful time at the game. They're working on completing the community center but it's slow going as they aren't trying to speedrun and just doing things as they want. I believe they're thinking about going into the desert mines once they complete that bundle, but they're both super chicken shit about it!

-my-cabbages: I don't really understand what you had to apologize for ... but I'm glad you're happy and the situation seems to be settling down

OOP: There wasn't much of an apology on my end, as everyone agreed I had done nothing wrong. Mine was more of a "I'm sorry you didn't feel as though I would listen." Type apology, which I don't really believe is a proper apology because apologies like that push the blame back on another. I mostly expressed my feelings and the shock of it all, and how betrayed I felt.  

----NEW UPDATE----

Small, happy update: May 7, 2024 (1 month later)
Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I am almost done with my Tomb of Annihilation campaign and am working together with my players to decide what to run next. The choices are:

• Continue with other Chult content.
  
• Continue with Vecna.
  
• Continue with another level 1-10 campaign involving one of the supporting antagonists (aside from Ace) in Vecna and then combine the surviving PCs from this and that one for a Marvel-style team-up against Vecna after that.
  

I have prepared plot hooks for all three.

• Plot Hook for Vecna:
  • If the PCs beat Acererak, he says "Fools! I did not merely wish to keep the souls of this world for myself! I only wanted to keep them out of the hands... of Vecna. You have no clue what lies ahead."
• Plot Hook for More Chult Content:
  • A multi-sided war wages above ground in Omu, which the PCs are experiencing during short rests through the eyes of Sewn Sister clones tasked with stirring up a bloodbath. Two factions of Yuan-ti, vs. Kobolds, vs. Grung, vs. the Order of the Gauntlet. The goal is to cause enough death to hasten the Atropal to full godhood. The PCs have been able to make contested wisdom or charisma rolls to gain control over their clones, or at least guide them in the right action.
  • When the surviving PCs make it to the surface, they have done everything right. Ras Nsi is defeated, the alliance of the Order of the Gauntlet and Grung controls the ruins of Omu... then Thayan airships darken the skies and Valindra steps out of a portal, saying that Thay is claiming the ruins of Omu for themselves, and if the PCs and their allies know what's good for them they will depart without protest.
• Plot Hook for Level 1-10 Campaign, followed by Vecna:
  • Upon returning to Port Nyanzaru, Syndra Silvane tells the survivors that the Harpers are aware of the threat of Vecna, and that as this threat is an inter-dimensional threat, it requires things to turn out right elsewhere in the multiverse. She then gives the following hooks:
  • Shadow of the Dragon Queen: Tiamat (I am putting her Forgotten Realms arc in the backstory because I have no intention of running it) has launched a full-scale invasion of another world.
  • Curse of Strahd: A series of mysterious disappearances afflicts the Sword Coast, and the Harpers suspect people are being whisked away to the Demiplane of Dread.
  • Syndra and her contacts can help any surviving PCs reach those locations but it will have unforeseen consequences (read: they will be de-leveled). Players can then choose to de-level and carry over their ToA PCs or make new characters while leaving their ToA PCs to prepare for the confrontation with Vecna.

Any thought on this or suggestions on how to improve it?

[Just a disclaimer, I cuss a lot. I'm very angry as I'm writing this post.]
Hi, I'm back here again, hope you guys are well. I'm really not.
I'm extremely stressed, disheartened, betrayed, upset annoyed angry etc. you name it.
I got into a heated argument with my dad today. I really care about my dad and he's, generally speaking, been supportive of me whenever I take life decisions that make him and my mum happy. I understand that I have limited choices and need to make the right decisions given how we are first generation immigrants in a first world country, and only my dad financially supports our family. So having a stable job is really important, yada yada, yes I do whatever my parents pull out of their ass all the time even if I don't want to because they know best and only want me to be happy and successful.
Anyway, the marriage market for a 22F South Asian like me "sucks" at the moment according to them. Not many sons from good traditional families exist around my area. So my dad has used his classical manipulation techniques that he is old, sick (both of those things are true, gotta give him that) and he has the heavy burden of getting his daughter married into a good family. So he picked my fucking cousin back home. He is from a good family and we can trust them yada yada, our family knows them, their family knows us (DUH that's your fucking sister's family, of course you know them) and we can trust their son ( I have barely known him personally. He lives in a different country and I rarely visit back home. And the idea of marrying my cousin is fucking disgusting to me. I don't even like him and never will).
Mind you, that's the cousin my parents told me not to worry about...matter of fact I've made it very clear to them that when it's time to decide for my marriage, I only have one fucking condition and that is .... I DON'T WANNA MARRY MY FUCKING COUSINS :D (the bar is very low, I know. I don't even want to get married wtf I'm only 22 and have 0 interest in marriage or guys in general wtf)
My parents don't wanna put in the effort of finding someone else, and they hear these stories about guys in my area having kids outside of wedlock and then running away or hiding their kid or babymama. Or that guys that cannot be trusted here since substance abuse is very common here. Not many educated guys exist (load of bullshit, they do, my parents just have 0 social skills and would rather speak with someone they know). My dad has particularly used religion to justify that cousin marriage is fine. Well guess what, my religion says that if I say no, then it means no and nothing can happen. So my dad said, I only have the best interest in my mind and you should listen to me and you won't regret it. We just went back and forth with that argument and ended on a very angry note. Now we're ignoring each other and it's just fucking killing me. I don't want this to happen to me, and my dad has made up his mind and is gonna go through with it. I can only hope that fuckass cousin doesn't see this as an opportunity to leave that shitty third world country and come here. Fuckin hell what do I fucking do. How do I convince them?

Alright so for context my sp is an ex of two years…..
Context:⭐️its been 5 months since we broke up and it was very messy and very difficult..he immediately chose to move on as our relationship got really toxic because of factors on both of our ends..we have broken up before (for 5 months ironically) and so i was very ATTACHED and codependent and he was too at one point but again issues (we argued everyday pretty much developed hate for one another) i am his first very serious and long relationship and he is my first relationship but before me he was a very aloof casual serial dater..and it seems hes trying to return to it..i did hurt him with the way it turned out and it seems like he is trying very hard to forget me and erase me..📗
manifesting journey:🌺 So ive known abt manifesting since 2020 but didnt believe in it when i heard abt it (tried it but i was in a very toxic and damaging kinda mindset) so obviously heartbroken and lost manifesting seemed like my only option..i read and read and i did the fucking work..when i tell you i sat and reflected and faced the pain. I didnt distract and use people or substances..i suffered and brung myself out of it thanks to the principals of nevile goddards teachings (reflecting revising healing and detaching)📍 and not to mention last time we broke up i unintentionally manifested him and the story how i personally find insane.📍i also feel i manifested our breakup!! (I am a very imaginative person and i would feel this exact feeling imaging our downfall and BOOM it happened..📕
Movement:🗞️ so we were on 0 contact and i worked on my sc while he played around with 3p and i swear to you the minute i stopped reacting to her she disappeared and they broke up..he texted me apologizing one day after i kept seeing synchronicities..(angel numbers , saw his mother, and the feeling of something good was strong).. so boom reconciled and that was one of my affirmations so check that. Still it was very slow and i would not keep strong and would fall back into my old mindset and then it would get stagnant..soon after i decided to message him that i forgave him after much tarot debate lol and we chitchatted and started playing imsg🔖 But since then nothing much has changed and i fell back on my practicing stopped affirming and just started slowly creeping around him..yes cring ik📘
Turmoil:🖇️ So now my issue is..im trying to put my foot down and really get into it..but i cant feel it anymore and its scary..im trying to feel how it feels to be his girlfriend again and its like blank..and lowkey some negative feelings linger..im trying to stop robotically affirming from a “hes coming” standpoint and go into a “hes here and were great” but i dont know what to pinpoint that i want to visualize…i know i want him but when i attempt to sit down and think abt what i want..its kinda difficult?? Like foggy..and i feel like its because ive forgotten it..the feeling of wish fulfilled and being happy with him cuz its been so long..i want to put my foot down and do sats and visualizations but its like when it comes to him its so flippin difficult📙
So my question is..does anyone else experience this lack of feeling when it comes to their manifestation? Or sp? and if so how to get over it? Please no bullshit condescending responses like “its all in you ..you just have to decided” yes ik it is but it doesnt help.. We are human we struggle so please let me know what you think..📚

I was in a really toxic relationship for 5 years, and spent the following 3 years single, lonely and depressed. I met someone who I really believed was the right one for me. Other than a few arguments, everything has been (close to) perfect, so I thought. We don’t live together, we both have children and both own property. There have been a couple of conversations about the future and moving in together but nothing concrete. He’s going through a custody battle and I’ve done everything in my power to support him. I comfort him, tend to his needs and I have really given this my all.
I noticed that he is excessively friendly with females, like over-the-top friendly. It bothers me, and I’m not the jealous type. I never brought it up because he never did anything to actually disrespect me or cross boundaries (that I know of, until recently). A few days ago he planned to spend the night at my house. When he arrived I could tell that he wasn’t being himself. He told me that he had a bad day and apologized if he was being grumpy. For the first hour he was quiet and short. Then he decided to play a video game (we both game on occasions, don’t be judgy). He was randomly teamed with two women, which is perfectly fine. However, a few minutes into the game his whole mood did a 360. He was like an excited, giddy, teenage boy. The interaction definitely came across as excessively flirtatious. He said things like “You’re adorable” and “You’re both too cute” (referring to their personalities because he couldn’t see them). One woman was married and the other engaged; both were being appropriate and friendly. At one point I overheard him made a comment about porn. Anyways, after TWO HOURS the women said they had to go and my bf sounded really bummed out and said good bye. I was lying down next to him the whole time, with my eyes closed trying to sleep because it was sooooo awkward for me. But I kept getting woken up because he was being loud. I went to bed immediately after.
I’m sick to my stomach, and can’t get over the lack of boundaries and how he went from bummed out, barely talking to me, to hyper and excited in the blink of an eye over some random chicks. I mean, you’d think he had won the lottery. Not to mention, we only see each other one or two nights out of the week because we live an hour away. That’s how he chose to spend his time with me. I’m so turned off and feel like I can’t trust him now. I can’t tell if I’m overreacting and if this is petty so I haven’t brought it up. But I can’t help but feel distant. I don’t feel the sense of security I did a week ago. Talking to him feels awkward and forced now. He was drinking, idk if it matters. I really need some non biased feedback. Even if I tell him how I feel, I don’t think this is something he could fix about himself.

10 Team 1QB, 2 Flex, no defense.
Trade Tee Higgins for either Trey Benson or Jonathan Brooks straight up?
I feel like Tee is gonna have another meh year with the Bengals and then get traded to a team where he’ll be the dude and finally produce as a WR1. He’s struggled with hamstring injuries throughout his career though and it’s getting hard to overlook.
Benson and Brooks both need a year respectively too.
Benson will fight with James Conner for the workload in Arizona and will get his moments when JC is inevitably injured, then JC will be off contract after this season and Benson will be the starter.
Brooks will be coming off his ACL injury and they’ll probably slowly work up his snap count throughout the season. He obviously looked good enough to scouts that it didn’t impact his draft stock too much which is a good sign.
The question is, am I overpaying for an unproven rookie RB by giving up a guy that should be next in line after the bengals let him go? Or am I offloading an injury prone guy that will never reach his potential ceiling for a good value?
I rank Brooks and Benson similarly but who would you all take if you like this deal?
Here’s the rest of my team for reference:
QB: Jordan Love, CJ Stroud
WR: AJ Brown, Garrett Wilson, Calvin Ridley, Tee Higgins, Jayden Reed, Quentin Johnston, AT Perry, Khalil Shakir, Romeo Doubs, Trey Palmer
RB: Breece Hall, James Cook, Zack Moss, Javonte Williams, Jaleel Maclaughlin,
TE: Trey McBride, Isaiah Likely