Girlfriend sweet quotes

I’m posting this in memory of my beautiful girlfriend.
We met december 2023 through an app. She was abroad until jan of this year when we met for our first date. I still remember how nervous i was to meet her, i walked up to her, tapped her. She stood up and looked me in the eye and from that moment i knew she was my person. She was 5’9 (i’m 5’5) so average for a girl, but i liked our height difference. She was wasian. She had the most beautiful smile i’ve ever seen, it was so wide and so contagious. She loved poetry, and she was incredibly intelligent. She was quick witted, and just so funny. She had such doe eyes, and whenever i’d talk to her I could tell how invested she was in whatever nonsense i was talking about. She was very physically affectionate, which i wasn’t ever a fan of until i met her. I only ever craved affection when it was from her. Her laugh honestly gave me life, it instantly made me laugh too. She had such cool style, leather jackets, corduroys, and her favourite green shoes. She would always talk to me as if i was the most beautiful woman on earth. She wasn’t afraid to let me know how much she adored me, in the little time we knew each other. Her favourite food was bolognaise, and she had a popcorn obsession haha. She was the most genuine, sweet, caring girl. She was 19. As am I. And she instantly knew how to put a smile on my face. I could say anything to her and she would be ready to hear me out, she was super open minded. Which i love in a person. She was also incredibly awkward but it was so cute, and she was known for always having clammy hands and apologising before holding your hand. She had the softest dark brown hair with a few blonde highlights. And she loved to try wind me up by swinging my arm whilst we were walking. When she passed on february 28th my life paused. And no i didn’t know her for long, but i have never loved a person so fast. I think anyone would be insane not to of loved her. I loved everything about her, and i still do. I miss her today tomorrow and forevermore. i love you A <3

Hello everyone, I've been dealing with a break up that shook up everything about myself for the past 7 months. I just want to write this as a reflective piece. This was a 3 and a half year long relationship.
So I was dating a woman that I met in college (she was slightly older than me so she already had graduated), and the first few months felt like heaven. I never really had a relationship before where I felt so compelled, so in love with someone. And she really was a sweetheart, she did so many nice gestures, date ideas for us, and I was completely in sync and returned the favor as well. But then COVID hit and we went to remote learning/working from home. And this is honestly where our relationship's issues started to come into play, and not because of us (initially). Without revealing anything personal, my ex worked an incredibly abusive and demanding job that would have her often working until midnight or later, every single day. And this went on for years. The issue with this, on top of her trying to study, was that everything in our relationship had to either be cut off or revolve around her job. The thing is though, is that I learned over time (especially once I started my career and worked for a bit), was that she was under no obligation to actually work these insane hours with no overtime. She was just letting her job take advantage of her and essentially bully/pressure her into doing far more work than she needed to. While short-term this was not a huge issue to me, this was also actively eating into her own personal goals and achievements, and was taking a toll on her health as well.
I tried everything in the most polite way possible to convince her to look elsewhere, think of other opportunities (never told her to just outright quit as thats not my place), but she seemed to always dig her heels in and try to complain internally at her job, which literally never worked. It always led to bigger issues down the line. And eventually, it started to genuinely annoy me that our relationship was basically stalling and we were only seeing each other once a week or once every two weeks. I still genuinely loved her (and she really loved me) though, and tried my hardest to support her through it. By comparison, with my first job (which was in an extremely similar field), I was only working 40 hours a week, maybe 50 tops. But it was starting to get extremely worrisome that even by the 2 and a half year mark, I couldn't even get her to come on a vacation without her abruptly having to leave.
I want to make it clear though that despite all these issues, we were always incredibly understanding and honest to each other, and that if I had not made the decision I made, she never would have broken up with me, and probably would have been an incredibly loyal wife. However, after another year of feeling like she was really being more loyal to a shitty job than to me (and some other issues as well, without getting too into it I wasn't really able to bring myself to care about her interests anymore out of frustration, her problems that stemmed from never wanted to confront them was getting to me where I just didn't have it in me anymore, and her friends were pretty much actively shittalking me behind my back despite being significantly more supportive to her than any of her friends were, who basically used her constantly), I decided that I was going to end things with her. I did everything about the break-up correctly and respectfully, I went to her place, said that it wasn't fair for her to date someone that just didn't have it in them anymore, and I left. And that was the last I ever spoke to her.
Ever since I broke up with her, I've been hard blocked, no-contact style on everything by her. And for a long time (and even recently), it sucked hard. Someone that I spent so much time with, someone that I put so much love into, so many deep conversations that left me so happy, to see her just sort of treat me like I don't exist hurt like a motherfucker. I know it was definitely harder for her initially, as I dumped her, the guilt of hurting someone as sweet, smart, and as kind as she was absolutely ruined me. I'm ashamed to admit it, but multiple times I tried to contact her, just to talk, but every time it was met with deafening silence. Nothing.
To make matters worse, within a week of our breakup, I was laid off as well at my job.
But this is where things take a turn.
I was never a fit guy, but from starting a career at a sedentary job and feeling set in life with a beautiful girlfriend, I put on some serious pounds, I went from a little pudgy to straight up fat. I was starting to develop awful acid reflux + I have a nasty double chin when I'm fat, and with my job and my love life gone, I realized that for the first time in my life, I'm going to fight for myself, to be proud of how I look and feel. And thats exactly what I did. I took all of that sorrow, all of that guilt, and I took it to the gym, and I interviewed my ass off with some companies.
Flash forward to seven months later (now), I'm in the best shape I've ever been in my life (sub-20% bodyfat and looking to cut even more), all of my stomach issues disappeared from being active, and now I work at a job far better (and more stable) than my last one. As someone who never seemed to attract women, I'm actually starting to have great conversations and meet new people (although I don't know if I'm ready to start dating again) who genuinely seem interested in me. I feel great, and I feel motivated. I knew it wasn't going to be easy being alone, but I believe I'm doing the right thing. I think anyone going through something like this needs to hear this; don't give up. You put the work into yourself and it'll all come together. Its never too late.
And typing this post was very therapeutic, felt like getting a massive weight off my chest. I still feel the pain of loneliness and missing my ex's compassion and companionship sometimes, but I don't truly regret my decision. I really wish we worked out, but ultimately her inability to confront her problems was her own worst enemy. I'm the exact opposite, I confront my problems head on. I just hope that one day I find someone perfect for me.
Thanks for reading.

My girlfriend (18F) and i(17F) have been dating for almost 2 years. I'm aware we're just kids and i sound naive to think we could be highschool sweet hearts. We've been having a bit of trouble as she hasn't been okay mentally, she's been stressed about the end of school coming up and getting ready to move for college. I've encouraged her to ask her mother if she can go see her therapist again thinking this could help her. We decided it was best if we could take some space apart and i agreed not wanting to stress her out more but i felt extremely anxious without her. I asked her to talk and we ended up talking and she admitted to losing interest in me not completely but lightly. On the other hand i feel like she's losing more interest than she's admitting to me otherwise why would she want to put more space into our relationship. We've been each others rocks for 2 years she's my best friend and sometimes i feel like i can't live without her. She's not a bad person at all i have so much care for this girl as she is the sweetest and most beautiful person i've ever met. We're going on a trip this weekend and prom soon too. I've been trying to give her the space she needs to not make her lose interest in me more, as she has admitted my clingy behavior is the reason for her losing interest. It was also the cause of our last break up i think. We have dated before for a short period as well as been friends for a while before committing to a serious relationship which is now. I don't know what's going on in her head but i don't want her to leave me and continue to lose interest in me. I love her so much that it hurts to even think about this. I'm attached to her like a dog on a leash, i love too hard and that my problem. I don't want her to leave me.

My girlfriend (18F) and i(17F) have been dating for almost 2 years. I'm aware we're just kids and i sound naive to think we could be highschool sweet hearts. We've been having a bit of trouble as she hasn't been okay mentally, she's been stressed about the end of school coming up and getting ready to move for college. I've encouraged her to ask her mother if she can go see her therapist again thinking this could help her. We decided it was best if we could take some space apart and i agreed not wanting to stress her out more but i felt extremely anxious without her. I asked her to talk and we ended up talking and she admitted to losing interest in me not completely but lightly. On the other hand i feel like she's losing more interest than she's admitting to me otherwise why would she want to put more space into our relationship. We've been each others rocks for 2 years she's my best friend and sometimes i feel like i can't live without her. She's not a bad person at all i have so much care for this girl as she is the sweetest and most beautiful person i've ever met. We're going on a trip this weekend and prom soon too. I've been trying to give her the space she needs to not make her lose interest in me more, as she has admitted my clingy behavior is the reason for her losing interest. It was also the cause of our last break up i think. We have dated before for a short period as well as been friends for a while before committing to a serious relationship which is now. I don't know what's going on in her head but i don't want her to leave me and continue to lose interest in me. I love her so much that it hurts to even think about this. I'm attached to her like a dog on a leash, i love too hard and that my problem. I don't want her to leave me.
TL;DR My girlfriend says she’s losing interest and i just want her to be interested in me again how can i do that?

So my good friend has never had a girlfriend (we are both in our 30s). I know he deals with depression and likely anxiety, but he is one of the sweetest people I have ever met. A lil awkward, a lil nerdy, but also just so god damn sweet. I have been trying to break his shell, but I cannot for the life of me, get him to be confident!!! I just know a lady would make him happier, but I am only the best wingwomen I can be. I can see an attraction, but how do I let him see?

What am I doing? Dominick Mason asked himself for the hundredth time that night. It was late on a rainy Sunday evening and Dom, a tall, lanky man-boy of twenty-five with a prominent Adam’s apple and too big eyes, stared out the rain-slicked window of the 905. The big bus swayed and jostled as it lumbered down Central Avenue, the movements strangely comforting, conducive to reflection…and self-doubt.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed, and a pit opened up in his stomach. He fumbled it out with long fingers and read the text. Are u almost here
His thumb hovered over the screen, but he did not reply. Part of him wanted to block the number, slink back home with his tail between his legs, and forget the whole thing. He could boot up his PS4 and play Red Dead Redemption or GTA V like always. Safe. Familiar. The thought, however, stirred a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It was dread.
Every night, he did the same thing. He came home from work to his tiny prison cell apartment. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He played video games until it was time to go to bed. The worst part of the whole night was when he turned off the TV and saw his murky reflection in the screen. Plaid. Scrawny. Disgusting. He hated being locked in that apartment, with its old smells and white walls, but he hated going out even more. At least in his hole, he was safe, like a mouse. No one hurt or lied to him there. No one gave him funny looks. No one rejected him. He was completely safe in his solitude, a wounded animal hiding in its den and licking its wounds.
He was wounded and he knew it.
And he hated himself for it. Hated that he wasn’t stronger or better. Hated that even though he tried so hard, everything he did fell apart…if it even came together in the first place, which it rarely did.
The phone buzzed again.
Just a question mark this time.
His heart began to race and a steely fist slowly closed around his lungs. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a deep breath. He pictured himself alone in his little apartment. He loved the image, but he hated it too. Most nights, he didn’t mind being alone. He had to not mind it, because he didn’t have a choice. Some nights…some nights he didn’t want to be alone. Some nights he wanted warmth, he wanted tenderness…some nights, he wanted to be human.
Every so often, Dom would get the urge to find those things. They came less frequently than they did before, but unfortunately, they still came. He would create an account on Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, maybe some of the other sites as well. He would agonize over his stupid intro and his stupid list of hobbies. He would spend hours - literally hours - writing and rewriting them, trying at first to be serious, then light and funny, then cool, then aloof, then vulnerable. He would take the best possible pictures from the best possible angles, then upload them, never lingering over them because he hated the way he looked. He didn’t think he was ugly - mid was more like it - but apparently, he was ugly. Too ugly for love, too ugly even to talk to.
The ugly barnacle. So ugly that everyone died. The end.
All of Dom’s pictures were all selfies, of course. Guys he listened to on YouTube said he needed action shots, shots with friends, shots that showed women he had a life, was valued by those around him, and knew how to have fun. Too bad for him, he had no friends and no one valued him, not even his own mother. On the surface, maybe, but she had hurt him so many times over the years in so many ways that even the most devout son would stop and think.
It had to be selfies.
When his profile was in order - or as much in order as he could get it - he would start to browse. Dom knew his place and never messaged women who were too beautiful. He used to, but they never responded. He eventually began to skip their profiles with a pang of loss and a quiet what if? Now, he barely noticed them. Blonde. Petite. Blue eyes. Maybe she was a cheerleader at one time, maybe she was the type of girl who looked down her nose at guys like him. Maybe she was a sweetheart. In any case, he would never find out, so who cares?
He went for women he could realistically obtain…the type of women he’d dated and hooked up with in the past. Some were attractive in their own way, others were hard to look at, he wasn’t picky; he couldn’t afford to be picky. One woman he saw was a good three hundred pounds. She was nice and he liked her enough, but he lapsed into depression while they were dating and he never messaged her back…not that she made a huge effort to message him. Another was a pre-K teacher in her mid-thirties. Overweight with a big nose, glasses, and a plain face when she wasn’t wearing make-up. He liked her a lot and wanted to be with her, but after a month of weekend hookups, she said she didn’t love him. She told him she wanted a family - three kids, to be exact - but “changed her mind.” No, she didn’t. She just didn’t want those things with him.
Now she was in her late thirties, single, and having regrets.
She still wouldn’t settle for him, though.
Another woman he’d seen recently (six months ago) was fifty, but not unattractive. They texted for weeks, hot and heavy. She outright told him that she wanted to have sex with him. Said all sorts of nasty and sexual things. Their first (and only date) was her coming to his apartment. Instead of tender kisses, loving caresses, and intense emotions, they shared an awkward two hours on his couch. When he tried to hold her hand and put his arm around her, she stiffened. Not much, just a little. She said she “wasn’t ready.” He sat there and watched the flowers he’d gotten her wilt as she talked about her ex for an hour and a half, his arms pointedly crossed. He even leaned as far away from her as humanly possible, trying to communicate with his body language what he didn’t have the guts to communicate with his words: I’m uncomfortable, please leave. He planned to take her to a nice restaurant after they made love. Instead, he ordered something after she finally got the hint and left, eating alone like always.
After her, he deleted his profile (again) and resolved to never bother with dating again. Obviously there was something wrong with him. He saw guys who were uglier and more awkward than him with girlfriends, some actually stunning, but there was something about him in particular, something that repelled women…and men too.
Everyone.
It repelled everyone.
Maybe it was his self-loathing. After all, no one likes a sad sack. But that’s the thing: He was like this because of those experiences. It was a what came first, the chicken or the egg situation. Looking back, he had almost normal confidence at one point. Then all of this happened. The hundreds of messages he sent on the dating apps staying on read, unanswered, like he never sent them at all, like he was garbage unworthy of even a hello. The awkward dates. The occasional “success” that eventually fell apart…sometimes because of him, and sometimes because of them. The one girl who ran away from him when he tried to walk her to her car after a date. They didn’t click, he knew that, but he didn’t say or do anything creepy. Why did she do that? The girls who lead him on, talking about sex and sometimes even love but always had a reason they couldn’t meet.
There were other examples - many others - but it was all the same. Who cared?
Dom wanted to crawl back into his hole and stay there, to stop poking his head out and getting hurt. He wanted it so bad…but he was only human. Deep down, buried beneath layer after layer of scar tissue, there was still hope. Hope for love, for companionship, for acceptance, for intimacy and human touch. It was only an ember now, but even an ember is enough to spark a fire.
Some nights, he wanted to be safe. Other nights, he wanted to take a risk.
And this night was one of the latter.
Be there soon, he texted. He swallowed hard and wetted his lips. His heart was pounding faster and his bowels were loose. He really hoped this worked out. He didn’t think he could handle another rejection. If she turned him down, he’d probably go home and kill himself. Why go on like this?
He’d had that thought before…but he never followed through.
Maybe one day he’d actually shut the fuck up and do it already.
Maybe.
Ok :)
Her name was Heather and she was fat. She was not unattractive in the face and she wore her weight well, not that that mattered - he would take what he could get. They started talking on OKCupid last week and very soon, the conversation became sexual. He didn’t start it, though, she did. She was ahem very excited, she said. He liked to think that she was lonely, desperate, and wanted intimacy - any intimacy - just like him.
That really turned him on.
They agreed to meet, and now here he was, on the bus to her apartment on the other side of the city, hoping against hope that she didn’t hurt him too.
He put the phone away and stared straight ahead. The bus was nearly deserted, save for an old bag lady up front and a few Mexican guys in the back. Lights lined the bus’s roof, providing a cold, impersonal light. Dom took a deep breath and forced his dark emotions away. It was all on him to make this work. He would accept her fat, ugly, poor, and crippled, but he had to work to earn her love. He could do it.
When the bus finally reached his stop, he yanked the cord and got off. There was a plexiglass shelter lit by a single, lonely bulb. Trash littered the ground. Beyond the shelter, a park lay in darkness. Behind him, on the other side of the road, a housing project not unlike his own towered into the sky, lit up like a ship at sail. Dom swallowed his nerves and crossed the street. He found the door that she had directed him to use, and climbed the stairs. He expected trash, graffiti, and winos passed out on every landing. Instead, the stairwell was clean and deserted. His nerves welled as he climbed but he forced them down again. On the ninth floor, he went down the hall, battered on all sides by the stale smells of cooking and the murmur of TVs and voices coming from every apartment.
Dom paused at Apartment 237.
Heather’s.
You got this, he told himself.
And really, he did. Their plan - well, Heather’s, really - was simple and straightforward. She told him that she would leave the door unlocked. He was to come in, go to the bedroom, and she would be waiting for him. She said it was a fantasy of hers.
On some level, he knew all along that the whole setup sounded fishy. Was he being set up to get robbed? Would he walk in and get jumped by a bunch of Crips? He hesitated, but his need for love - and, yes, release - pushed him on.
He opened the door.
Inside, the apartment was small and messy, a living room to the right and a tiny kitchen to the left. The only light on was the one above the stove.
Everything else was in shadows.
Dom’s heart skipped a beat.
This didn’t feel right.
That thought was overpowered by the smell, a sickly sweet odor that suddenly seemed to be everywhere. His stomach twisted and he turned his head slightly to one side, as if to spare his nose. It smelled like something spoiled.
A voice spoke from the darkness, startling him. “I’m in here.”
It was light, airy, and cute.
For the last time, Dom hesitated. Some primal sense told him to turn around and leave…
…but he wanted to be loved.
Dom entered and shut the door behind him.
The smell was stronger. The atmosphere darker.
Ahead, he could barely make out an open doorway in the shadows.
He crossed to it.
The smell was overpowering here and Dom felt like he was going to puke. Any desire he had felt was gone, replaced only by revulsion and claustrophobia. It was cold, he realized, so cold that his teeth chattered.
Okay, fuck this.
He started to turn around, intent on leaving, but a small, white hand reached from the darkness. Icy fingertips brushed his cheek and his heart blasted into his throat.
Then she was there, her body pressing against his and her lips fused with his. The smell, the freezer chill, both stronger than ever.
They were both coming from her.
Her tongue hungrily lashed his own, and she pushed him against the wall. Her hands slipped under his shirt and pressed flat against his chest. They were so cold that he almost cried out.
Dom wanted to push her away, to run, but he didn’t. Instead, he froze up and allowed her to push him onto the bed. Was he too gutless to tell her no, the way he’d been too gutless to tell the woman who went on and on about her ex to shut up and leave? Did he secretly want to go through with this? He didn’t know, and he didn’t have time to figure it out. She was on top of him now, straddling him, his legs caged between her ample thighs. She grabbed his hands and pressed them to her bare breasts.
They were as cold as the rest of her.
She leaned down and kissed him again. He hadn’t noticed it before, but her tongue was…dry. Her mouth itself tasted strange. Off.
Heather broke from his lips and peppered kisses on his cheek and forehead, assaulting him with an intimacy that Dom no longer wanted.
Through it all, she was as silent as a tomb. She wasn’t panting or rasping with excitement. In fact, he didn’t think she was even breathing.
She brushed her lips along the exposed curve of his throat, and tingles of revulsion shot down his spine. She found his pulse and kissed it. Trembles of excitement raced through her body and she started to lap his neck like a dog.
Without warning, a fiery pinprick of pain exploded over him and Heather began to shake and pant. Dom cried out and tried to fight her off, but she was too heavy, too much.
With a tiny, mouse-like squeak - a sound of pitiable fear and resignation - Dom blacked out.

What am I doing? Dominick Mason asked himself for the hundredth time that night. It was late on a rainy Sunday evening and Dom, a tall, lanky man-boy of twenty-five with a prominent Adam’s apple and too big eyes, stared out the rain-slicked window of the 905. The big bus swayed and jostled as it lumbered down Central Avenue, the movements strangely comforting, conducive to reflection…and self-doubt.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed, and a pit opened up in his stomach. He fumbled it out with long fingers and read the text. Are u almost here
His thumb hovered over the screen, but he did not reply. Part of him wanted to block the number, slink back home with his tail between his legs, and forget the whole thing. He could boot up his PS4 and play Red Dead Redemption or GTA V like always. Safe. Familiar. The thought, however, stirred a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It was dread.
Every night, he did the same thing. He came home from work to his tiny prison cell apartment. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He played video games until it was time to go to bed. The worst part of the whole night was when he turned off the TV and saw his murky reflection in the screen. Plaid. Scrawny. Disgusting. He hated being locked in that apartment, with its old smells and white walls, but he hated going out even more. At least in his hole, he was safe, like a mouse. No one hurt or lied to him there. No one gave him funny looks. No one rejected him. He was completely safe in his solitude, a wounded animal hiding in its den and licking its wounds.
He was wounded and he knew it.
And he hated himself for it. Hated that he wasn’t stronger or better. Hated that even though he tried so hard, everything he did fell apart…if it even came together in the first place, which it rarely did.
The phone buzzed again.
Just a question mark this time.
His heart began to race and a steely fist slowly closed around his lungs. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a deep breath. He pictured himself alone in his little apartment. He loved the image, but he hated it too. Most nights, he didn’t mind being alone. He had to not mind it, because he didn’t have a choice. Some nights…some nights he didn’t want to be alone. Some nights he wanted warmth, he wanted tenderness…some nights, he wanted to be human.
Every so often, Dom would get the urge to find those things. They came less frequently than they did before, but unfortunately, they still came. He would create an account on Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, maybe some of the other sites as well. He would agonize over his stupid intro and his stupid list of hobbies. He would spend hours - literally hours - writing and rewriting them, trying at first to be serious, then light and funny, then cool, then aloof, then vulnerable. He would take the best possible pictures from the best possible angles, then upload them, never lingering over them because he hated the way he looked. He didn’t think he was ugly - mid was more like it - but apparently, he was ugly. Too ugly for love, too ugly even to talk to.
The ugly barnacle. So ugly that everyone died. The end.
All of Dom’s pictures were all selfies, of course. Guys he listened to on YouTube said he needed action shots, shots with friends, shots that showed women he had a life, was valued by those around him, and knew how to have fun. Too bad for him, he had no friends and no one valued him, not even his own mother. On the surface, maybe, but she had hurt him so many times over the years in so many ways that even the most devout son would stop and think.
It had to be selfies.
When his profile was in order - or as much in order as he could get it - he would start to browse. Dom knew his place and never messaged women who were too beautiful. He used to, but they never responded. He eventually began to skip their profiles with a pang of loss and a quiet what if? Now, he barely noticed them. Blonde. Petite. Blue eyes. Maybe she was a cheerleader at one time, maybe she was the type of girl who looked down her nose at guys like him. Maybe she was a sweetheart. In any case, he would never find out, so who cares?
He went for women he could realistically obtain…the type of women he’d dated and hooked up with in the past. Some were attractive in their own way, others were hard to look at, he wasn’t picky; he couldn’t afford to be picky. One woman he saw was a good three hundred pounds. She was nice and he liked her enough, but he lapsed into depression while they were dating and he never messaged her back…not that she made a huge effort to message him. Another was a pre-K teacher in her mid-thirties. Overweight with a big nose, glasses, and a plain face when she wasn’t wearing make-up. He liked her a lot and wanted to be with her, but after a month of weekend hookups, she said she didn’t love him. She told him she wanted a family - three kids, to be exact - but “changed her mind.” No, she didn’t. She just didn’t want those things with him.
Now she was in her late thirties, single, and having regrets.
She still wouldn’t settle for him, though.
Another woman he’d seen recently (six months ago) was fifty, but not unattractive. They texted for weeks, hot and heavy. She outright told him that she wanted to have sex with him. Said all sorts of nasty and sexual things. Their first (and only date) was her coming to his apartment. Instead of tender kisses, loving caresses, and intense emotions, they shared an awkward two hours on his couch. When he tried to hold her hand and put his arm around her, she stiffened. Not much, just a little. She said she “wasn’t ready.” He sat there and watched the flowers he’d gotten her wilt as she talked about her ex for an hour and a half, his arms pointedly crossed. He even leaned as far away from her as humanly possible, trying to communicate with his body language what he didn’t have the guts to communicate with his words: I’m uncomfortable, please leave. He planned to take her to a nice restaurant after they made love. Instead, he ordered something after she finally got the hint and left, eating alone like always.
After her, he deleted his profile (again) and resolved to never bother with dating again. Obviously there was something wrong with him. He saw guys who were uglier and more awkward than him with girlfriends, some actually stunning, but there was something about him in particular, something that repelled women…and men too.
Everyone.
It repelled everyone.
Maybe it was his self-loathing. After all, no one likes a sad sack. But that’s the thing: He was like this because of those experiences. It was a what came first, the chicken or the egg situation. Looking back, he had almost normal confidence at one point. Then all of this happened. The hundreds of messages he sent on the dating apps staying on read, unanswered, like he never sent them at all, like he was garbage unworthy of even a hello. The awkward dates. The occasional “success” that eventually fell apart…sometimes because of him, and sometimes because of them. The one girl who ran away from him when he tried to walk her to her car after a date. They didn’t click, he knew that, but he didn’t say or do anything creepy. Why did she do that? The girls who lead him on, talking about sex and sometimes even love but always had a reason they couldn’t meet.
There were other examples - many others - but it was all the same. Who cared?
Dom wanted to crawl back into his hole and stay there, to stop poking his head out and getting hurt. He wanted it so bad…but he was only human. Deep down, buried beneath layer after layer of scar tissue, there was still hope. Hope for love, for companionship, for acceptance, for intimacy and human touch. It was only an ember now, but even an ember is enough to spark a fire.
Some nights, he wanted to be safe. Other nights, he wanted to take a risk.
And this night was one of the latter.
Be there soon, he texted. He swallowed hard and wetted his lips. His heart was pounding faster and his bowels were loose. He really hoped this worked out. He didn’t think he could handle another rejection. If she turned him down, he’d probably go home and kill himself. Why go on like this?
He’d had that thought before…but he never followed through.
Maybe one day he’d actually shut the fuck up and do it already.
Maybe.
Ok :)
Her name was Heather and she was fat. She was not unattractive in the face and she wore her weight well, not that that mattered - he would take what he could get. They started talking on OKCupid last week and very soon, the conversation became sexual. He didn’t start it, though, she did. She was ahem very excited, she said. He liked to think that she was lonely, desperate, and wanted intimacy - any intimacy - just like him.
That really turned him on.
They agreed to meet, and now here he was, on the bus to her apartment on the other side of the city, hoping against hope that she didn’t hurt him too.
He put the phone away and stared straight ahead. The bus was nearly deserted, save for an old bag lady up front and a few Mexican guys in the back. Lights lined the bus’s roof, providing a cold, impersonal light. Dom took a deep breath and forced his dark emotions away. It was all on him to make this work. He would accept her fat, ugly, poor, and crippled, but he had to work to earn her love. He could do it.
When the bus finally reached his stop, he yanked the cord and got off. There was a plexiglass shelter lit by a single, lonely bulb. Trash littered the ground. Beyond the shelter, a park lay in darkness. Behind him, on the other side of the road, a housing project not unlike his own towered into the sky, lit up like a ship at sail. Dom swallowed his nerves and crossed the street. He found the door that she had directed him to use, and climbed the stairs. He expected trash, graffiti, and winos passed out on every landing. Instead, the stairwell was clean and deserted. His nerves welled as he climbed but he forced them down again. On the ninth floor, he went down the hall, battered on all sides by the stale smells of cooking and the murmur of TVs and voices coming from every apartment.
Dom paused at Apartment 237.
Heather’s.
You got this, he told himself.
And really, he did. Their plan - well, Heather’s, really - was simple and straightforward. She told him that she would leave the door unlocked. He was to come in, go to the bedroom, and she would be waiting for him. She said it was a fantasy of hers.
On some level, he knew all along that the whole setup sounded fishy. Was he being set up to get robbed? Would he walk in and get jumped by a bunch of Crips? He hesitated, but his need for love - and, yes, release - pushed him on.
He opened the door.
Inside, the apartment was small and messy, a living room to the right and a tiny kitchen to the left. The only light on was the one above the stove.
Everything else was in shadows.
Dom’s heart skipped a beat.
This didn’t feel right.
That thought was overpowered by the smell, a sickly sweet odor that suddenly seemed to be everywhere. His stomach twisted and he turned his head slightly to one side, as if to spare his nose. It smelled like something spoiled.
A voice spoke from the darkness, startling him. “I’m in here.”
It was light, airy, and cute.
For the last time, Dom hesitated. Some primal sense told him to turn around and leave…
…but he wanted to be loved.
Dom entered and shut the door behind him.
The smell was stronger. The atmosphere darker.
Ahead, he could barely make out an open doorway in the shadows.
He crossed to it.
The smell was overpowering here and Dom felt like he was going to puke. Any desire he had felt was gone, replaced only by revulsion and claustrophobia. It was cold, he realized, so cold that his teeth chattered.
Okay, fuck this.
He started to turn around, intent on leaving, but a small, white hand reached from the darkness. Icy fingertips brushed his cheek and his heart blasted into his throat.
Then she was there, her body pressing against his and her lips fused with his. The smell, the freezer chill, both stronger than ever.
They were both coming from her.
Her tongue hungrily lashed his own, and she pushed him against the wall. Her hands slipped under his shirt and pressed flat against his chest. They were so cold that he almost cried out.
Dom wanted to push her away, to run, but he didn’t. Instead, he froze up and allowed her to push him onto the bed. Was he too gutless to tell her no, the way he’d been too gutless to tell the woman who went on and on about her ex to shut up and leave? Did he secretly want to go through with this? He didn’t know, and he didn’t have time to figure it out. She was on top of him now, straddling him, his legs caged between her ample thighs. She grabbed his hands and pressed them to her bare breasts.
They were as cold as the rest of her.
She leaned down and kissed him again. He hadn’t noticed it before, but her tongue was…dry. Her mouth itself tasted strange. Off.
Heather broke from his lips and peppered kisses on his cheek and forehead, assaulting him with an intimacy that Dom no longer wanted.
Through it all, she was as silent as a tomb. She wasn’t panting or rasping with excitement. In fact, he didn’t think she was even breathing.
She brushed her lips along the exposed curve of his throat, and tingles of revulsion shot down his spine. She found his pulse and kissed it. Trembles of excitement raced through her body and she started to lap his neck like a dog.
Without warning, a fiery pinprick of pain exploded over him and Heather began to shake and pant. Dom cried out and tried to fight her off, but she was too heavy, too much.
With a tiny, mouse-like squeak - a sound of pitiable fear and resignation - Dom blacked out.

What am I doing? Dominick Mason asked himself for the hundredth time that night. It was late on a rainy Sunday evening and Dom, a tall, lanky man-boy of twenty-five with a prominent Adam’s apple and too big eyes, stared out the rain-slicked window of the 905. The big bus swayed and jostled as it lumbered down Central Avenue, the movements strangely comforting, conducive to reflection…and self-doubt.
As if on cue, his phone buzzed, and a pit opened up in his stomach. He fumbled it out with long fingers and read the text. Are u almost here
His thumb hovered over the screen, but he did not reply. Part of him wanted to block the number, slink back home with his tail between his legs, and forget the whole thing. He could boot up his PS4 and play Red Dead Redemption or GTA V like always. Safe. Familiar. The thought, however, stirred a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It was dread.
Every night, he did the same thing. He came home from work to his tiny prison cell apartment. He had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He played video games until it was time to go to bed. The worst part of the whole night was when he turned off the TV and saw his murky reflection in the screen. Plaid. Scrawny. Disgusting. He hated being locked in that apartment, with its old smells and white walls, but he hated going out even more. At least in his hole, he was safe, like a mouse. No one hurt or lied to him there. No one gave him funny looks. No one rejected him. He was completely safe in his solitude, a wounded animal hiding in its den and licking its wounds.
He was wounded and he knew it.
And he hated himself for it. Hated that he wasn’t stronger or better. Hated that even though he tried so hard, everything he did fell apart…if it even came together in the first place, which it rarely did.
The phone buzzed again.
Just a question mark this time.
His heart began to race and a steely fist slowly closed around his lungs. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took a deep breath. He pictured himself alone in his little apartment. He loved the image, but he hated it too. Most nights, he didn’t mind being alone. He had to not mind it, because he didn’t have a choice. Some nights…some nights he didn’t want to be alone. Some nights he wanted warmth, he wanted tenderness…some nights, he wanted to be human.
Every so often, Dom would get the urge to find those things. They came less frequently than they did before, but unfortunately, they still came. He would create an account on Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, maybe some of the other sites as well. He would agonize over his stupid intro and his stupid list of hobbies. He would spend hours - literally hours - writing and rewriting them, trying at first to be serious, then light and funny, then cool, then aloof, then vulnerable. He would take the best possible pictures from the best possible angles, then upload them, never lingering over them because he hated the way he looked. He didn’t think he was ugly - mid was more like it - but apparently, he was ugly. Too ugly for love, too ugly even to talk to.
The ugly barnacle. So ugly that everyone died. The end.
All of Dom’s pictures were all selfies, of course. Guys he listened to on YouTube said he needed action shots, shots with friends, shots that showed women he had a life, was valued by those around him, and knew how to have fun. Too bad for him, he had no friends and no one valued him, not even his own mother. On the surface, maybe, but she had hurt him so many times over the years in so many ways that even the most devout son would stop and think.
It had to be selfies.
When his profile was in order - or as much in order as he could get it - he would start to browse. Dom knew his place and never messaged women who were too beautiful. He used to, but they never responded. He eventually began to skip their profiles with a pang of loss and a quiet what if? Now, he barely noticed them. Blonde. Petite. Blue eyes. Maybe she was a cheerleader at one time, maybe she was the type of girl who looked down her nose at guys like him. Maybe she was a sweetheart. In any case, he would never find out, so who cares?
He went for women he could realistically obtain…the type of women he’d dated and hooked up with in the past. Some were attractive in their own way, others were hard to look at, he wasn’t picky; he couldn’t afford to be picky. One woman he saw was a good three hundred pounds. She was nice and he liked her enough, but he lapsed into depression while they were dating and he never messaged her back…not that she made a huge effort to message him. Another was a pre-K teacher in her mid-thirties. Overweight with a big nose, glasses, and a plain face when she wasn’t wearing make-up. He liked her a lot and wanted to be with her, but after a month of weekend hookups, she said she didn’t love him. She told him she wanted a family - three kids, to be exact - but “changed her mind.” No, she didn’t. She just didn’t want those things with him.
Now she was in her late thirties, single, and having regrets.
She still wouldn’t settle for him, though.
Another woman he’d seen recently (six months ago) was fifty, but not unattractive. They texted for weeks, hot and heavy. She outright told him that she wanted to have sex with him. Said all sorts of nasty and sexual things. Their first (and only date) was her coming to his apartment. Instead of tender kisses, loving caresses, and intense emotions, they shared an awkward two hours on his couch. When he tried to hold her hand and put his arm around her, she stiffened. Not much, just a little. She said she “wasn’t ready.” He sat there and watched the flowers he’d gotten her wilt as she talked about her ex for an hour and a half, his arms pointedly crossed. He even leaned as far away from her as humanly possible, trying to communicate with his body language what he didn’t have the guts to communicate with his words: I’m uncomfortable, please leave. He planned to take her to a nice restaurant after they made love. Instead, he ordered something after she finally got the hint and left, eating alone like always.
After her, he deleted his profile (again) and resolved to never bother with dating again. Obviously there was something wrong with him. He saw guys who were uglier and more awkward than him with girlfriends, some actually stunning, but there was something about him in particular, something that repelled women…and men too.
Everyone.
It repelled everyone.
Maybe it was his self-loathing. After all, no one likes a sad sack. But that’s the thing: He was like this because of those experiences. It was a what came first, the chicken or the egg situation. Looking back, he had almost normal confidence at one point. Then all of this happened. The hundreds of messages he sent on the dating apps staying on read, unanswered, like he never sent them at all, like he was garbage unworthy of even a hello. The awkward dates. The occasional “success” that eventually fell apart…sometimes because of him, and sometimes because of them. The one girl who ran away from him when he tried to walk her to her car after a date. They didn’t click, he knew that, but he didn’t say or do anything creepy. Why did she do that? The girls who lead him on, talking about sex and sometimes even love but always had a reason they couldn’t meet.
There were other examples - many others - but it was all the same. Who cared?
Dom wanted to crawl back into his hole and stay there, to stop poking his head out and getting hurt. He wanted it so bad…but he was only human. Deep down, buried beneath layer after layer of scar tissue, there was still hope. Hope for love, for companionship, for acceptance, for intimacy and human touch. It was only an ember now, but even an ember is enough to spark a fire.
Some nights, he wanted to be safe. Other nights, he wanted to take a risk.
And this night was one of the latter.
Be there soon, he texted. He swallowed hard and wetted his lips. His heart was pounding faster and his bowels were loose. He really hoped this worked out. He didn’t think he could handle another rejection. If she turned him down, he’d probably go home and kill himself. Why go on like this?
He’d had that thought before…but he never followed through.
Maybe one day he’d actually shut the fuck up and do it already.
Maybe.
Ok :)
Her name was Heather and she was fat. She was not unattractive in the face and she wore her weight well, not that that mattered - he would take what he could get. They started talking on OKCupid last week and very soon, the conversation became sexual. He didn’t start it, though, she did. She was ahem very excited, she said. He liked to think that she was lonely, desperate, and wanted intimacy - any intimacy - just like him.
That really turned him on.
They agreed to meet, and now here he was, on the bus to her apartment on the other side of the city, hoping against hope that she didn’t hurt him too.
He put the phone away and stared straight ahead. The bus was nearly deserted, save for an old bag lady up front and a few Mexican guys in the back. Lights lined the bus’s roof, providing a cold, impersonal light. Dom took a deep breath and forced his dark emotions away. It was all on him to make this work. He would accept her fat, ugly, poor, and crippled, but he had to work to earn her love. He could do it.
When the bus finally reached his stop, he yanked the cord and got off. There was a plexiglass shelter lit by a single, lonely bulb. Trash littered the ground. Beyond the shelter, a park lay in darkness. Behind him, on the other side of the road, a housing project not unlike his own towered into the sky, lit up like a ship at sail. Dom swallowed his nerves and crossed the street. He found the door that she had directed him to use, and climbed the stairs. He expected trash, graffiti, and winos passed out on every landing. Instead, the stairwell was clean and deserted. His nerves welled as he climbed but he forced them down again. On the ninth floor, he went down the hall, battered on all sides by the stale smells of cooking and the murmur of TVs and voices coming from every apartment.
Dom paused at Apartment 237.
Heather’s.
You got this, he told himself.
And really, he did. Their plan - well, Heather’s, really - was simple and straightforward. She told him that she would leave the door unlocked. He was to come in, go to the bedroom, and she would be waiting for him. She said it was a fantasy of hers.
On some level, he knew all along that the whole setup sounded fishy. Was he being set up to get robbed? Would he walk in and get jumped by a bunch of Crips? He hesitated, but his need for love - and, yes, release - pushed him on.
He opened the door.
Inside, the apartment was small and messy, a living room to the right and a tiny kitchen to the left. The only light on was the one above the stove.
Everything else was in shadows.
Dom’s heart skipped a beat.
This didn’t feel right.
That thought was overpowered by the smell, a sickly sweet odor that suddenly seemed to be everywhere. His stomach twisted and he turned his head slightly to one side, as if to spare his nose. It smelled like something spoiled.
A voice spoke from the darkness, startling him. “I’m in here.”
It was light, airy, and cute.
For the last time, Dom hesitated. Some primal sense told him to turn around and leave…
…but he wanted to be loved.
Dom entered and shut the door behind him.
The smell was stronger. The atmosphere darker.
Ahead, he could barely make out an open doorway in the shadows.
He crossed to it.
The smell was overpowering here and Dom felt like he was going to puke. Any desire he had felt was gone, replaced only by revulsion and claustrophobia. It was cold, he realized, so cold that his teeth chattered.
Okay, fuck this.
He started to turn around, intent on leaving, but a small, white hand reached from the darkness. Icy fingertips brushed his cheek and his heart blasted into his throat.
Then she was there, her body pressing against his and her lips fused with his. The smell, the freezer chill, both stronger than ever.
They were both coming from her.
Her tongue hungrily lashed his own, and she pushed him against the wall. Her hands slipped under his shirt and pressed flat against his chest. They were so cold that he almost cried out.
Dom wanted to push her away, to run, but he didn’t. Instead, he froze up and allowed her to push him onto the bed. Was he too gutless to tell her no, the way he’d been too gutless to tell the woman who went on and on about her ex to shut up and leave? Did he secretly want to go through with this? He didn’t know, and he didn’t have time to figure it out. She was on top of him now, straddling him, his legs caged between her ample thighs. She grabbed his hands and pressed them to her bare breasts.
They were as cold as the rest of her.
She leaned down and kissed him again. He hadn’t noticed it before, but her tongue was…dry. Her mouth itself tasted strange. Off.
Heather broke from his lips and peppered kisses on his cheek and forehead, assaulting him with an intimacy that Dom no longer wanted.
Through it all, she was as silent as a tomb. She wasn’t panting or rasping with excitement. In fact, he didn’t think she was even breathing.
She brushed her lips along the exposed curve of his throat, and tingles of revulsion shot down his spine. She found his pulse and kissed it. Trembles of excitement raced through her body and she started to lap his neck like a dog.
Without warning, a fiery pinprick of pain exploded over him and Heather began to shake and pant. Dom cried out and tried to fight her off, but she was too heavy, too much.
With a tiny, mouse-like squeak - a sound of pitiable fear and resignation - Dom blacked out.

This is long so I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this and respond.
I’m (F, mid 40s) seeing a guy in his mid 30s and it’s been going on for about a year. Told me up front he wasn’t looking for a relationship and wanted to focus on finishing his degree. I respected it although I liked him a lot initially and saw potential. I really didn’t know what my intentions were when we met either and wasn’t looking for anything serious. We instantly formed a pretty unique connection and I wanted to know him better. I was several years out of a relationship and not attached to anyone in any way. It just felt like good timing to try seeing someone again. He also was unattached and hadn’t had a girlfriend for 2 years.
Initially it started as hooking up and then we started doing more friend-like activities. In hindsight, it should have ideally been the other way around but we were instantly very physically attracted to each other. That rarely happens for me. This dude is pretty much the male version of me in a lot of ways, and our differences in personality are just interesting enough to not have things be boring. We have so many common interests and our time together just flows easily. We can roast each other playfully without hurt feelings which is really top tier. No subjects of discussion seem to be off limits. He’s traveled a lot and done a lot of things with his life and it seems like he’s slowed down a lot in the past year to be more focused on himself and his family. He has a great relationship with his mother. It’s really great to spend time with someone who is intelligent, funny, creative and talented all in one person. I never get sick of him.
Obviously I developed deeper feelings over time, didn’t really see it coming. I just really love the time we spend together and there’s a lot of things about him that make me think we could be happy together at some point in the future. There’s also a lot that’s standing in the way right now. He affirmed a few months back that he still isn’t ready for a relationship but tells me he loves me, does nice things for me, fixed my car, has taken care of me when I was sick, is thoughtful, an actual gentleman (opening doors, “text me when you get home”type stuff), talks about possible future plans (like moving closer to where I live) and we communicate occasionally about hypothetical relationship scenarios.
The sex is really very intimate in an emotional sense. Lots of kissing, declarations of feelings, consideration of each other’s pleasure. Some of the deepest conversations we’ve had have been during sex. We communicate and check in with each other throughout and we always give instructions on what feels good/what doesn’t. This really makes for some of the best sex I’ve ever had.
I’ve never had a relationship like this before but I guess young people call these “situationships”? They can be very confusing and also great in a lot of ways. I don’t have anyone telling me when to be somewhere or anxiously checking on me constantly wondering what I’m doing. I have a lot of freedom to be alone and be myself. But also a lot of feelings. I do find myself thinking about him a lot and wishing we could spend more time together. He often tells me he misses me. We text and talk on the phone fairly regularly but not every day.
He says he’s not seeing other people and is kind of a recluse. I can pull up on him anytime and usually he’s home. When I come over he doesn’t seem to mind if I stay for multiple days. He seems a little sad when I leave. We don’t live super close to each other so we only see each other once a week or every other week. It’s always at his place. We do leave the house together to go shopping or get food, but not like on super romantic dates. We’ve been seen in public together. There’s no signs of other women having been in his house. He gives me gas money if I drive out of my way to come over. He is and always has been very financially generous with whatever he has available, and I’ve bought him some thoughtful, practical gifts that he always says he doesn’t want me to spend my money on but ultimately seems grateful for. This man has spent thousands of dollars on hanging out with me. When he does anything creative or productive in his life, he tells me about it like he wants me to be proud of him. I’ve met some of his friends and family members. They all seem cool and they seem to like me too.
I had to finally have a big conversation with him about what everything means and where it’s going because I was tired of being emotionally confused, and we’ve determined that things are not at the point of progressing further, but we also cannot leave each other alone. Having the information about where we stand has made me less anxious but also there’s a part of me that’s like “why am I still doing this?”.
I’ve cut him off like 3 or 4 times due to the lack of commitment/relationship compatibility but he will always find a way back into my life saying “I’m not letting you go”, “I move very slowly until I’m completely comfortable with someone”, “things can always change in the future” and that no matter what he will always be there for me and he worries about me when we don’t communicate. He has said “we don’t have to have sex every time you come over”. Aside from that, we cuddle and talk about deeper things, our past experiences and emotions. I can hold him accountable and he doesn’t get defensive. I always sleep over. We have established boundaries, and sleeping positions lol It’s clearly not just about sex. We genuinely care about each other and are supportive of each other’s happiness and goals. We can be creative together too and share some hobbies.
I do NOT do wife type things at his house. I’ve never cooked for him, cleaned his house or did his laundry. I told him I don’t do those things at men’s houses and he said “Good. You should just relax when you’re here”. He does not want or expect me to do anything for him. He has cooked for me though. I’m certain he’s not trying to use me for my labor.
The reasons he claims he doesn’t want a full on committed relationship seem to keep shifting. At first it was about school. Then it was he’s terrified of being hurt. He has claimed to be “confused”. Then he said he doesn’t want to change up his whole life and routine because someone else is around. Then it was that he wants to have kids and I don’t want anymore kids. I’ve told him a few times that he should go find whoever he wants to be with/commit to and he insists he’s never met anyone who’s “on my level” and isn’t trying to find anyone else. I haven’t pressured him to be monogamous, yet he says he prefers to be. He brought up monogamy before I did. I’ve only asked for honesty and safety.
The reasons I don’t logically want a relationship with him at this point is that I’m pretty traditional in the sense that I want to fully commit to someone who can financially support me and with him still in school that’s not possible. When he graduates he will be very financially comfortable and has had decent paying jobs in the past. He’s not a bum who’s never accomplished anything and he can support himself. I think in the meantime, not having as much money as he’s used to really bothers him. He has said before that I deserve to be taken care of. I have a very physically demanding job and would like to focus on other projects and he understands.
We align a lot on values and some goals but having kids with him (or anyone) doesn’t seem like a great idea for me at this point in my life. I’d be sad if he moved on but if what he truly wants is to have his own kids (not just be a stepdad), he should have that experience. I truly want him to achieve everything he wants in life.
Also he drinks more than I would like. I’d want him to have a plan to get sober or at least drink less. He’s not mean or all that different personality-wise when he’s drunk but he forgets a lot of details about things. He loses track of time often. I also worry about his health.
He admits that he should stop drinking and has made some attempts since I’ve known him but they are short lived. The days when he’s sober are really cool and I tell him how much I prefer to be around him when he’s not drinking. I’m very encouraging without shaming him. I’ve empathized with how hard it must be to stop. I’ve offered my help and given him tangible resources. He’s clearly not ready. He is so gentle and sweet but obviously he needs to quit for himself and to be fully mentally and emotionally present in a relationship.
I know at this point a relationship isn’t a good idea, but I feel like at the very least I’m still enjoying our time together and I know we care about each other. I always want to remain friends at least. I just can’t seem to stay away from him even if I’m aware that it may not go anywhere substantial. When I try to create space, he literally begs me to come back. I’m fully aware that I deserve someone who is ready for a relationship and can be more mentally and financially able now, not maybe in the future.
I’m not fully cutting off the idea of dating (not sleeping with) other people for him. We agreed to be monogamous sexually but he said it’s fine if another guy takes me on a date. He said he’d want to know about it so he can give his opinion on whether the guy is safe/good enough for me or not. I once told him I met a guy at my job and he groaned about it and seemed disappointed until I finished telling him it didn’t go anywhere lol
I don’t want to sleep around but I don’t want to waste time by waiting for someone who may not change in a way that makes us more compatible in a relationship. I haven’t asked him to change but also let him know my standards and criteria. I also have this opposing feeling like I should be patient and see how things unfold for him in his life. I want to see him grow and become the best version of himself, whether we are together or not. We’ve developed a pretty significant bond that I don’t feel I can replace with anyone else. I want to be around to encourage him and be part of his support system. I like knowing I can rely on him to be a safe, generous and affectionate/caring person who always wants the best for me (and my kids) too. We challenge each other in the best ways, and don’t seek to control each other. We are mutually meeting several needs, just not all of them.
What’s the best way to handle this? Do I fully stop seeing him and move on completely with a broken heart or just keep seeing where it goes with an open mind for other options? Is it even possible to let anyone else into my life when I’m spending time, energy and emotions on this guy? Can anyone provide any insight into what might be going on for him on a deeper level? With some objective opinions maybe I can form a clearer understanding of where I need to go with this. I guess I’m old school and hate the idea of throwing good people away even if they aren’t in a place where I’d prefer them to be. I’m trying to look at his actions and not his words but it’s hard to see the big picture when there’s feelings involved.

(Hi Charlotte I’ve been a fan since I was young and finally had the courage to talk about a wedding I’ve been to and Yeesh…it was insane. Also sorry I’m advanced English isn’t my first language I’m using google translate and my girlfriend for help)
I 18F have a cousin that is not much contact in our family. We’ll call her Spears. Spears as I can describe we even the family started to put Brat in her first part of her name was. A brat. The story takes places in my age of 10 years old still getting use to life but understanding that there was some sweet, sweet drama. I came to the wedding with my whole family to a large garden area and with a building that was holding cake, sweets, and even hot chocolate. (I spent most of my time with hot chocolate) the day was pretty normal the vows went well and everyone was happy and well, at least I thought they were. I wasn’t here for the show but I heard lots of screaming from the building outside but I assumed they were all excited about something. My dad took a video and showed me years later (bless that man for being my father he’s a great guy) and apparently spears was made that her husband was doing the part in the wedding where he reaches under her dress to gain the wedding band, she said it was a perverted thing to do and no guy should do that to any woman. The funny thing is though that she actually wanted him to do that months before the wedding! She was luckily called out by one of her bridesmaids about it and how she and her were excited for him to do that and spears got all red in the face as she was caught in a lie. (Note: spears can’t lie for shit unless she can channel all that anger at the right timing) so she played it off as a prank on the husband and left it at that. Hours later I was here for this one. I was getting hot chocolate and put a bunch of sprinkles in and was about to walk away and got get a cookie. That’s when Spears starts screaming and asking literally everyone who took a her special cookie for her and her husband. I didn’t don’t worry but it was actually one of the younger kids there ((Side note: the wedding wasn’t supposed to have kids under 10 as she was around me and my family the most she assumed all 10 year olds were calm, no I’m just not sociable and usually prefer alone time) someone lied and it was shown that a parent brought their 7 year old kid there and he had to go to the bathroom but spears decides to keep the bathrooms locked because she didn’t want anyone to “Have too much fun” in the bathrooms. I can understand this part for her to freak out actually I would to but this is when the fun part comes in. Spears dad, my favorite horror loving uncle was looking upset and apparent I heard this from family members when I was a bit younger, the wedding costed most of his life savings ever since the bridal shower for buying all the gifts and stuff and decorations. Turns out even the garden was so expensive that he had to borrow money from friends. Spears heard this and shrugged it off by claiming he get more money if he wants it’s not her problem because as a father he’s supposed to spoil her. She has a brother by the way she’s not an only child she’s just spoiled rotten. My grandfather got to the uncle to get him to stand up for himself and that’s when the bride just leaves the entire wedding. Full on leaves and doesn’t come back. The husband kept asking where she was and no one knew until it was realized she left, turns out she was tired and wanted to head home to start over her wedding next week! The sheer audacity she had to think weddings can be started over and tried again was hilarious to me. Since then her and her husband left the family to be far away and haven’t been heard from again, not even from my uncle. Mind you I don’t think anyone cares enough but sometimes I actually wonder if the spears and her husband divorced, I dunno how that guy managed to handle spears for her whole life but he did and I hope he does we

Hello! Here we are again, back for another ATLA commentary.
Before we get started I do want to point out that I’m numbering and labeling episodes according to how they appear on Netflix. Episode 12, as I understand it, is actually two episodes. However, since they’re presented as one thing here, that’s how I’m watching it.
Brief update on other projects: I thought I’d try watching the first Harry Potter movie, but realized it’s two and a half hours long. That’s, at the bare minimum, five hours of commentary writing. So… yeah, we’re gonna hold off on that lol I’m also considering watching a superhero/comic book show called The Boys, because I accidentally caught part of a trailer for it that my girlfriend was watching and it looks very interesting. I’ll be doing the new Game of Thrones commentary next, not sure when exactly.
Okay, let’s go!
Episode 12- The Secret of the Fire Nation

1. Well that’s a heck of a title! I hope we learn something juicy!

It’s nice to see Aang and Katara bending for fun, thought I’m surprised Aang is so willing to encase himself in a block of ice. You’d think he’d have some trauma from that lol But also, I love Katara’s hair when she lets it down.
Yeah… I’m kind of surprised Aang is taking Appa’s loss as well as he is, considering how he reacted last episode. Since Sokka is talking about walking to Ba Sing Se, I take it they’re not going to be spending time looking for him? But then, didn’t the sandbenders say they sold him to a merchant from Ba Sing Se? Maybe he’s there, and Aang’s banking on that hope.

1. I know I keep applying real-world logic to a cartoon show, but wouldn’t Ba Sing Se get awfully crowded if they’re constantly taking in refugees from the rest of the Earth Kingdom? Iroh put the city under siege for almost two years. What if the Fire Nation does that again? More mouths to feed makes starvation quicker!

Iroh and Zuko are refugees. I still can’t get over that irony lol Hey, it’s Jet! My goodness, he’s onscreen for less than ten seconds and he’s already planning a robbery. He and Zuko are going to get along just fine, aren’t they?
The cabbage merchant! Always a delight to see him and his cabbages! Also hilarious that a bunch of people are impersonating Aang (thought it probably would be less hilarious if any of them met Azula). If passports are necessary, how did Zuko and Iroh get tickets? Also, good on Toph for taking advantage of her privilege lol
Hey! I think that’s Suki! Her eyes are drawn really distinctively and her voice sounds familiar! Two seconds after pressing play: it is Suki! Don’t you just love my long winning streak of figuring things out right before they let us know? Lol

1. Glad to see ATLA Suki appreciates Sokka’s muscles just as much as NATLA Suki lol

Someone took the pregnant family’s tickets and belongings. Is that how Zuko and Iroh got their tickets? Zuko’s robbed families before, so I wouldn’t put it past him.
Well damn, Suki got her armor and makeup on real quick, didn’t she? Hm… Sokka’s worried about her. I think Suki’s going to interpret that as him being sexist again but he’s probably traumatized from losing Yue. He’s been through way too much to still be sexist. If he still had a misogynistic bone in his body, Toph would have beaten it out of him by now.

1. Well the Serpent’s Pass looks terrifying. Also, this pregnant lady took one look at some scratched graffiti saying “Abandon Hope” and immediately started crying, saying “How can we abandon hope? It’s all we have!” Like… come on, lady lol Just because you see graffiti telling you to do something doesn’t mean you have to, otherwise I would have called quite a few people for a good time by now.

Hope is a distraction, huh? I guess I can see the logic of that from a practical application perspective. But it’s kind of a depressing philosophy for a monk to have.
Holy shit! Nope, I would not be walking along a cliff path that narrow! I will build a rowboat and paddle my way to Ba Sing Se.
Toph is really carrying the team (and some refugees too) this episode.

1. There’s a fine line between being protective and being smothering and Sokka has hopped, jumped, and skipped right over it.

Zuko’s not wearing his blue spirit mask. Not that he needs it, he and Jet work together like cogs in a machine. Ironic lol
Ow! Geez, that rejected hug hurt me lol Katara’s right though. Bottling up emotions just makes them worse in the long run. You have to allow yourself to feel bad sometimes. Granted, you can’t fly off the handle like he did last episode, but that’s a reaction. You can control your reactions, but you can’t control your feelings.
“It’s a beautiful moon.” “Yeah, it really is.” Okay, I know Sokka said last episode that Yue is the moon, but he was tripping on peyote. Does he actually believe that Yue is the moon now? Is Yue the moon now? I interpreted her death as he sacrificing herself to bring the moon spirit back to life, not to become the new moon spirit.
“Who is this guy? Is he taller than me?” Dude, we were having a moment. Damn it, just kiss her! Well actually, the moon’s right there so if Yue really did turn into the new moon spirit, it might be a tad awkward to kiss in front of her. But what’s he gonna do, only ever show intimacy during the day?

1. Um… I’m probably reading too much into this Smellerbee scene with Iroh and Longshot and I’m almost hesitant to say what I’m thinking because I can just imagine the backlash I could get for voicing it. And it’s not like ATLA has had great LGBTQ representation up to this point, so… Yeah, I’m probably just seeing things that aren’t there.

You know, I’ve never really cared a lot about Jet as a character (in fact, I’m kind of surprised to see him again. I figured he’d be a one-off character) but I am really enjoying his scenes with Zuko and Iroh. They have so much in common, which is probably the point of this whole juxtaposition. If he only knew who they really were lol
Of course Iroh believes in second chances. He’s the best. And also, he’s living proof that some people deserve a second chance.

1. Uh… Katara parting the sea while leading refugees to safety invokes a certain comparison, doesn’t it? But can I just say that I love how her solution to crossing the gap is to literally walk through the ocean instead of making a raft out of ice and floating across. She just never misses an opportunity to flex on everyone, does she? Lol

Momo continuing his pattern of trying to kill every small animal he sees is something I’ve come to treasure.
Is that the unagi?! I think that’s what it’s called/spelled but I haven’t seen that episode in a while. It would be fitting if Suki and the sea serpent both share the same episodes lol No that’s not the unagi. It’s a different color. Um… what exactly was Sokka planning to do if the sea serpent actually accepted his offer and ate Momo? Considering how he reacted to losing Appa, I don’t think Aang would be too happy with him.
Oh, now she’s making an ice bridge. Not as much of a flex as maintaining an air bubble so they plumb the depths but it is faster. Oh, Toph can’t see on ice. And she can’t swim? An earthbender not being able to swim feels like a stereotype for some reason, even though I have absolutely no reason to think that lol
“You can go ahead and let me drown now.” That’s gonna be a favorite joke of mine, I just know it lol And I’m pretty sure this is probably a jumping point for a Sokka/Toph ship. What does the community call that? Soph? Tokka? (How old is Toph, anyway? Probably Aang’s age, right? That’s… probably not an appropriate ship then)

1. Why does Ba Sing Se’s wall remind me of The Wall from Game of Thrones? Obviously not made of ice though lol

Okay, time for ATLA’s viewers to experience the miracle of childbirth!

1. Like I said earlier, ATLA isn’t heavy on the LGBTQ representation, but I swear I’m picking up on some tension and chemistry between Jet and Zuko (Juko? Jeko? Zet?). And now half of Jet’s little group is an LGBTQ allegory for me lol Even the dialogue between Jet and Zuko in this scene is slightly suggestive.

So… can Katara waterbend the baby out or…
Baby Hope, eh? Probably not a super common name in this world.
Oh? Was that Aang’s way of telling Katara he loves her without actually saying it? Aww. And hey, he’s heading off on his own to search for Appa. Which… honestly kind of feels like he should have been doing that this whole time lol
Yes! Get some, Sokka! Wait, nevermind. I fucking hate that line. Ugh No! I’m not gonna be a bitter old lady on this watch-through! They’re kissing and it’s very sweet and I love that for them!
Um… there’s a giant metal dildo on the way to penetrate Ba Sing Se! Lol but seriously, how technologically advanced is the Fire Nation? A giant mobile drill of that scale would be a marvel of engineering even by our modern standards.

1. Well hey, there’s the title card letting me know when the next episode starts.

Woah, the way the drill moves is so cool! I’m legitimately wondering if such a thing would actually be possible in our world with our physics. I don’t know why we would want to, but still. And of course Azula’s leading this attack. She gets all the best opportunities. And she’s smart too! The war minister guy is dismissive of the earthbenders, believing his drill to be impervious to earthbending attacks. You can practically smell the hubris. But Azula leaves nothing to chance and she sends her girls out to neutralize any potential threat.
And this is why we love Azula. She’s not just a scary villain, she’s a competent villain.

1. And the Earth Kingdom general shares the War Minister’s hubris. Why are the people in charge always the worst people to be in charge? Also, I love that Toph is the one to point out that Iroh broke through the wall.

So the Earth Kingdom’s elite Terra Team force were taken out by two teenage nonbenders from the Fire Nation in about twenty seconds. How have they lasted this long? Lol (I say two, but let’s be honest. Ty Lee’s doing the heavy lifting here)
Yes! I love that they acknowledge Sokka as the “Idea Guy”!
Iroh has got rizz for days lol I’m kind of surprised he only ever had one son. Jet wants to recruit Zuko. I’m totally down for that! They’re such an interesting pair!

1. I really love that Katara, whose probably the best waterbender in the world at this point, respects Ty Lee enough to recognize how dangerous she is. And Sokka had an idea! They’re going to take down the drill from the inside. Because how the hell else are they going to stop something that big?

Again with the underestimation! I swear Azula’s the only competent person in the entire Fire Nation military since Iroh retired.
Okay, engineer Sokka figured it out. It’s all a little too easy, isn’t it?

1. Ah shit, Jet just realized the truth, because Iroh used firebending to heat up his tea lol I think he’s getting a little too relaxed.

Okay, just the fact that they slice through metal with water at all is pretty impressive. And the drill has reached the wall, and Azula still doesn’t look impressed.
Oh yeah, I guess this is a pretty high stakes battle for them, huh? If they lose Ba Sing Se, they basically lose the entire Earth Kingdom, right? Omashu’s already fallen, the smaller villages and whatnot have no real defense. Ba Sing Se is the last big puzzle piece to world domination (aside from the water tribes, but they’re so isolated they’re not really a threat).
I love that Toph’s nickname for Aang is Twinkle Toes. Also I laughed at the War Minister’s face when he was side-eyeing Azula just then. +That’s the face of a man who’s about to be punished!

1. lol Sokka’s the only one with more rizz than Iroh! Maybe a legitimate battle strategy here would be to woo Ty Lee into switching sides? Aside from Azula she seems to be the most dangerous one. No offense to Mai, but she is kind of the odd woman out here.

Oh please let me get Aang and Azula 1v1! I really badly want to see how he fares against her without everyone else helping him. He’ll probably have to use the Avatar State to defeat her.
Ty Lee dives into the slurry after Katara and Sokka while Mai refuses. Yeah, Mai is the weak link here in Ozai’s Angels (I love that name, by the way).

1. Did Aang seriously think the general was going to hear him from that high up? Lol Toph’s helping Katara bend the slurry (how convenient that it’s both water and earth!). Ty Lee’s still trapped in it and the drill is about to blow. If I hadn’t learned my lesson on the last post, I’d probably be worried she might die in the explosion. But this is a kid’s show, she’ll be fine.

Here we go! Aang vs Azula! Her fighting style is so elegant. Every move she makes feels on purpose, if that makes sense. Like, whenever Aang fought Zuko, Zhao, or NPC firebenders their style is a little more chaotic and fearsome and rawr, you know? But Azula’s totally calm. Everything she’s doing feels calculated, and it’s working! If she hadn’t had to dodge that boulder after blasting Aang back she might have been able to deliver a finishing blow!
She beat him! He’s unconscious! Okay, well not anymore lol See… that right there was hubris (actually, it was kid’s show writing but whatever)! He was out for like fifteen seconds. She should have roasted him where he lay instead of picking him up and gloating.
Another fight with Azula ends in a draw with neither one beating the other! I’m starting to get a little peeved with all this edging lol but that was great! Azula is an absolute beast!

1. Okay, the way Aang hammered that rock spike into the drill was pretty epic. Mai’s “We lost” (and thank you for your contribution to the fight, Mai lol) is interesting. It’s true, they did lose. Not in the combat sense, Aang couldn’t beat Azula, but he didn’t have to. He just had to hold her off. Maybe that’s kind of a metaphor for the Fire Nation military in general. It’s very powerful, but it’s also marred by incompetence and weaknesses. Many of its generals are prideful and blind to their own weaknesses, or just outright incompetent. Look at this fight: even Mai just kind of gave up halfway through. If Ty Lee wasn’t trapped in the slurry, she might very well have been able to beat Katara, Sokka, and Toph, especially since they don’t Appa this time to bail them out. And if Mai had been with her, she might have been to break Katara’s concentration with a thrown weapon, thus freeing Ty Lee from the slurry.

I wondered how the Earth Kingdom lasted so long and maybe that’s just it. They can’t beat the Fire Nation, but they don’t have to. They just have to hold them off and the Fire Nation’s own shortcomings will end up beating themselves. It’s a hundred year stalemate.

1. Looks like Jet’s going to be causing a problem for Iroh and Zuko. I wonder if his relationship with them is what’s going to finally let him realize that not all Fire Nation people are inherently evil?

Hey, that’s Baby Hope! And Iroh gets to fawn over her too and I love that for him. You know, if Aang defeats the Fire Nation in a timely manner, Hope might actually get to grow up in a world at peace. Well, kind of. I’m sure there’s going to be massive issues with racism from generations of propaganda painting the other side as inhuman, huge demands for reparations, not to mention the territories the Fire Nation currently occupies. It’s been so long that there must be at least two generations of Fire Nation citizens who were born in and grew up in the Earth Kingdom, and I’m sure there’s been interbreeding with the Earth Kingdom people, because that’s what always happens with colonizers. Once they become established, genocide is pretty much the only way to get rid of them, and I doubt the Avatar is going to allow that.
So Hope’s probably going to grow up in pretty interesting times!
Um… is Ba Sing Se a city or is it a little walled country? Cuz all I see are farms and plains!
Katara, I love you, but you’re wrong. Team Avatar is going to catch on because it’s awesome, and that’s that.
Episode 13- City of Walls and Secrets

1. Oh, there’s an inner wall. So Ba Sing Se is kind of like the country in Attack on Titan! Oh yeah, in all of the excitement I almost forgot about Appa. Seriously, how many episodes has he been missing now? Damn, now that’s a city!

Yeah… something’s up with Joo Dee.
Walls inside that help maintain order? You mean walls that protect the rich and elite from the dirty poors? Lol Oh, Katara just confirmed it. They pen up all the poor people into a walled ghetto.

1. lol when Iroh’s talking about someone bringing home a lady friend, does he mean himself? Or Zuko? It is really interesting how their views of Ba Sing Se differ though. Iroh’s talking about getting a home, socializing, building a life, and he’s even found them jobs! Zuko sees the same situation as a prison.

Well, I’m glad Jet’s turning over a new leaf by letting the authorities handle things. Too bad I don’t trust the authorities to be any better.
Toph knows what’s up. Joo Dee is purposefully brushing Sokka off and distracting the group. I’m not sure why at the moment, but something is clearly up.

1. Of course they’re going to work in a tea shop! Lol Zuko’s right btw, all tea is hot leaf juice. Well, except for the teas that are hot root juice.

The cultural authority of Ba Sing Se, who guard their traditions and are called the Dai Li. Yeah… maybe it’s my conservative religious upbringing but when I hear about people “guarding their traditions” I immediately think of abuse, propaganda, and oppression. Generally people who are obsessed with traditions tend to be conservatives, who by their very nature cannot allow progress or improvement.
Someone important is trying to keep them under constant surveillance and prevent them from seeing the Earth King. In NATLA, there were spies in Omashu. Since Ba Sing Se is much bigger and more important, I imagine it’s riddled with Fire Nation spies as well, and somebody high ranking might be a traitor.

1. Joo Dee is kind of scary lol and clearly the citizens are terrified of her. But what’s interesting to me is that she’s preventing them from giving information about Appa, which suggests that whoever is stopping them from seeing the Earth King also has Appa. But why? What would be the point of keeping Aang away from Appa? Is it to restrict his mobility and make him easier to capture?

So people aren’t allowed to talk about the war, and the Dai Li seem to be responsible. But why? If everyone knows there’s a war going on anyway, why keep people from talking about it?
It’s lucky that Iroh borrowed his neighbor’s spark rocks, but why would he refrain from firebending in what he assumes is privacy? Unless he knows he’s being watched.

1. Huh, is the king’s pet bear the first normal animal on the show? Lol I am digging this undercover plan though.

I love that this show lets its characters try on different looks from time to time, even if they are mostly the same outfits. Katara and Toph’s high society get-ups are gorgeous!
The lost boys- I mean, freedom fighters are turning on Peter Pa- I mean, Jet. The weird thing is… he’s right! They are firebenders! But his behavior still isn’t healthy!

1. Okay, let’s go! Jet’s hurling accusations and attacking them in public! And now Zuko’s fighting back with swords. It’s the duel of the dual-wielders! Honestly, this is probably good for Zuko. He needs to blow off some steam after everything he’s been through.

Well how about that? Security at the palace is actually competent and Toph can’t bluff her way in.
This Long Feng guy is cultural minister to the king, which means he’s probably the bad guy! And also we haven’t met any other high ranking government officials with names, so he’s currently the only option lol

1. Geez, Zuko straight up intended to decapitate Jet right there. If Jet were a little slower, he would have! Man, I hope they do this fight scene in NATLA.

Uh-oh, scary lady Joo Dee is the scared one now. But can I just say how much I like her facial expressions?
Yeah… can’t blame them for arresting Jet. He did look like a crazy person.
The Dai Li’s specific brand of earthbending is very cool! It almost doesn’t seem like bending at all, if that makes sense. The stones they use are like a part of their own body. And of course Long Feng is their leader.
Okay I get the king is just a puppet and Long Feng is the real rule of the country, but I still don’t understand why he doesn’t allow mention of the war in the city. I mean, it’s common knowledge! A significant portion of their population are literally refugees fleeing war! Who doesn’t know
Oh… is it the king? Does the king just not know there’s a war happening and Long Feng keeps it from him so he can stay in charge? I mean, that’s still a stretch but it would explain why he doesn’t want Team Avatar talking to the king.

1. Jet is being hypnotized. Also, I do want to point out that I have seen “There is no (whatever) in Ba Sing Se” many times in the wild lol it’s nice to see where it comes from!

Ah… Long Feng is holding Appa as leverage over Aang.
I didn’t think Joo Dee could be any scarier but here we are! This episode almost has horror movie vibes.
Concluding thoughts: This was a fantastic couple/throuple of episodes! I loved seeing Suki again, and I really enjoyed how the refugee subplot ties so perfectly in with Iroh and Zuko. The whole drill sequence was probably the best “action” the show has had thus far and that’s saying something. It’s also nice to have my suspicions that the Earth Kingdom has its own corruption problems and bad guys confirmed.
I have a new theory to replace my “Iroh’s going to die theory”. They’ve been showing us all season how Zuko isn’t really cut out for life on the run, whereas Iroh embraces it. I think they’re driving to a separation between Zuko and Iroh. He may not have died, but narratively speaking Zuko and Iroh have to part ways permanently or semi-permanently for his character to grow. Iroh has been propping him up and supporting him this whole time, now it’s time for Zuko to leave the nest and become his own person.
My new theory is that Iroh will enjoy his new life in Ba Sing Se so much that he elects to stay there permanently, whereas Zuko is too restless to do so. He can’t go back to the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom will not accept him, so his only choice is to join Team Avatar, where he will likely end up teaching Aang firebending.
And to expand further on a previous theory of mine, which was: Azula will kill or depose Ozai. I’ve accepted at this point that death is off the table. Kid’s show and all that. But I noticed something… lots of people were quick to say that Azula would never kill Ozai. But not one person has said she wouldn’t depose him in those refutations (unless I’m misremembering but I don’t think I am). Since you all know not to hint at things or spoil them, I think your eagerness to point out that she won’t kill Ozai is an attempt to mislead me into thinking the whole theory is wrong so I’ll be surprised when she ends up deposing (not killing) him. I mean, I could be wrong but I have a strong feeling that the final villain is going to be Fire Lord Azula, with Ozai in exile somewhere (that would be fitting! The man who banishes his own son ends up being banished himself!).
Maybe that will even be the conclusion of Zuko’s arc! While Aang goes off to save the world from Azula, Zuko splits up to confront Ozai himself! Where we are in the show right now, it really does feel like Azula is Aang’s primary antagonist whereas Ozai is Zuko’s primary antagonist.
By the way, from here on out, no confirming or denying my theories either way, okay? Let it unfold naturally, and let me figure things out on my own. I mean, where’s the fun in just giving me the answers?
And also, some of you could be a little nicer with your criticisms. I had to block someone last time I posted and I don’t want to do that anymore. It’s fine to disagree with me, it’s fine to explain why you disagree with me. Hell, most of you do! I don’t mind that, I like that we all have different views of things even if I don’t agree. It makes things interesting! But don’t talk down to me, don’t use belittling language, don’t be disrespectful. Whenever I don’t like something about ATLA (or like something about NATLA) some of you seem to take it as a personal insult or something.
Just be polite, that’s all I ask.
Okay, I’ll see you same time next week probably!

Hello! Here we are again, back for another ATLA commentary.
Before we get started I do want to point out that I’m numbering and labeling episodes according to how they appear on Netflix. Episode 12, as I understand it, is actually two episodes. However, since they’re presented as one thing here, that’s how I’m watching it.
Brief update on other projects: I thought I’d try watching the first Harry Potter movie, but realized it’s two and a half hours long. That’s, at the bare minimum, five hours of commentary writing. So… yeah, we’re gonna hold off on that lol I’m also considering watching a superhero/comic book show called The Boys, because I accidentally caught part of a trailer for it that my girlfriend was watching and it looks very interesting. I’ll be doing the new Game of Thrones commentary next, not sure when exactly.
Okay, let’s go!
Episode 12- The Secret of the Fire Nation

1. Well that’s a heck of a title! I hope we learn something juicy!

It’s nice to see Aang and Katara bending for fun, thought I’m surprised Aang is so willing to encase himself in a block of ice. You’d think he’d have some trauma from that lol But also, I love Katara’s hair when she lets it down.
Yeah… I’m kind of surprised Aang is taking Appa’s loss as well as he is, considering how he reacted last episode. Since Sokka is talking about walking to Ba Sing Se, I take it they’re not going to be spending time looking for him? But then, didn’t the sandbenders say they sold him to a merchant from Ba Sing Se? Maybe he’s there, and Aang’s banking on that hope.

1. I know I keep applying real-world logic to a cartoon show, but wouldn’t Ba Sing Se get awfully crowded if they’re constantly taking in refugees from the rest of the Earth Kingdom? Iroh put the city under siege for almost two years. What if the Fire Nation does that again? More mouths to feed makes starvation quicker!

Iroh and Zuko are refugees. I still can’t get over that irony lol Hey, it’s Jet! My goodness, he’s onscreen for less than ten seconds and he’s already planning a robbery. He and Zuko are going to get along just fine, aren’t they?
The cabbage merchant! Always a delight to see him and his cabbages! Also hilarious that a bunch of people are impersonating Aang (thought it probably would be less hilarious if any of them met Azula). If passports are necessary, how did Zuko and Iroh get tickets? Also, good on Toph for taking advantage of her privilege lol
Hey! I think that’s Suki! Her eyes are drawn really distinctively and her voice sounds familiar! Two seconds after pressing play: it is Suki! Don’t you just love my long winning streak of figuring things out right before they let us know? Lol

1. Glad to see ATLA Suki appreciates Sokka’s muscles just as much as NATLA Suki lol

Someone took the pregnant family’s tickets and belongings. Is that how Zuko and Iroh got their tickets? Zuko’s robbed families before, so I wouldn’t put it past him.
Well damn, Suki got her armor and makeup on real quick, didn’t she? Hm… Sokka’s worried about her. I think Suki’s going to interpret that as him being sexist again but he’s probably traumatized from losing Yue. He’s been through way too much to still be sexist. If he still had a misogynistic bone in his body, Toph would have beaten it out of him by now.

1. Well the Serpent’s Pass looks terrifying. Also, this pregnant lady took one look at some scratched graffiti saying “Abandon Hope” and immediately started crying, saying “How can we abandon hope? It’s all we have!” Like… come on, lady lol Just because you see graffiti telling you to do something doesn’t mean you have to, otherwise I would have called quite a few people for a good time by now.

Hope is a distraction, huh? I guess I can see the logic of that from a practical application perspective. But it’s kind of a depressing philosophy for a monk to have.
Holy shit! Nope, I would not be walking along a cliff path that narrow! I will build a rowboat and paddle my way to Ba Sing Se.
Toph is really carrying the team (and some refugees too) this episode.

1. There’s a fine line between being protective and being smothering and Sokka has hopped, jumped, and skipped right over it.

Zuko’s not wearing his blue spirit mask. Not that he needs it, he and Jet work together like cogs in a machine. Ironic lol
Ow! Geez, that rejected hug hurt me lol Katara’s right though. Bottling up emotions just makes them worse in the long run. You have to allow yourself to feel bad sometimes. Granted, you can’t fly off the handle like he did last episode, but that’s a reaction. You can control your reactions, but you can’t control your feelings.
“It’s a beautiful moon.” “Yeah, it really is.” Okay, I know Sokka said last episode that Yue is the moon, but he was tripping on peyote. Does he actually believe that Yue is the moon now? Is Yue the moon now? I interpreted her death as he sacrificing herself to bring the moon spirit back to life, not to become the new moon spirit.
“Who is this guy? Is he taller than me?” Dude, we were having a moment. Damn it, just kiss her! Well actually, the moon’s right there so if Yue really did turn into the new moon spirit, it might be a tad awkward to kiss in front of her. But what’s he gonna do, only ever show intimacy during the day?

1. Um… I’m probably reading too much into this Smellerbee scene with Iroh and Longshot and I’m almost hesitant to say what I’m thinking because I can just imagine the backlash I could get for voicing it. And it’s not like ATLA has had great LGBTQ representation up to this point, so… Yeah, I’m probably just seeing things that aren’t there.

You know, I’ve never really cared a lot about Jet as a character (in fact, I’m kind of surprised to see him again. I figured he’d be a one-off character) but I am really enjoying his scenes with Zuko and Iroh. They have so much in common, which is probably the point of this whole juxtaposition. If he only knew who they really were lol
Of course Iroh believes in second chances. He’s the best. And also, he’s living proof that some people deserve a second chance.

1. Uh… Katara parting the sea while leading refugees to safety invokes a certain comparison, doesn’t it? But can I just say that I love how her solution to crossing the gap is to literally walk through the ocean instead of making a raft out of ice and floating across. She just never misses an opportunity to flex on everyone, does she? Lol

Momo continuing his pattern of trying to kill every small animal he sees is something I’ve come to treasure.
Is that the unagi?! I think that’s what it’s called/spelled but I haven’t seen that episode in a while. It would be fitting if Suki and the sea serpent both share the same episodes lol No that’s not the unagi. It’s a different color. Um… what exactly was Sokka planning to do if the sea serpent actually accepted his offer and ate Momo? Considering how he reacted to losing Appa, I don’t think Aang would be too happy with him.
Oh, now she’s making an ice bridge. Not as much of a flex as maintaining an air bubble so they plumb the depths but it is faster. Oh, Toph can’t see on ice. And she can’t swim? An earthbender not being able to swim feels like a stereotype for some reason, even though I have absolutely no reason to think that lol
“You can go ahead and let me drown now.” That’s gonna be a favorite joke of mine, I just know it lol And I’m pretty sure this is probably a jumping point for a Sokka/Toph ship. What does the community call that? Soph? Tokka? (How old is Toph, anyway? Probably Aang’s age, right? That’s… probably not an appropriate ship then)

1. Why does Ba Sing Se’s wall remind me of The Wall from Game of Thrones? Obviously not made of ice though lol

Okay, time for ATLA’s viewers to experience the miracle of childbirth!

1. Like I said earlier, ATLA isn’t heavy on the LGBTQ representation, but I swear I’m picking up on some tension and chemistry between Jet and Zuko (Juko? Jeko? Zet?). And now half of Jet’s little group is an LGBTQ allegory for me lol Even the dialogue between Jet and Zuko in this scene is slightly suggestive.

So… can Katara waterbend the baby out or…
Baby Hope, eh? Probably not a super common name in this world.
Oh? Was that Aang’s way of telling Katara he loves her without actually saying it? Aww. And hey, he’s heading off on his own to search for Appa. Which… honestly kind of feels like he should have been doing that this whole time lol
Yes! Get some, Sokka! Wait, nevermind. I fucking hate that line. Ugh No! I’m not gonna be a bitter old lady on this watch-through! They’re kissing and it’s very sweet and I love that for them!
Um… there’s a giant metal dildo on the way to penetrate Ba Sing Se! Lol but seriously, how technologically advanced is the Fire Nation? A giant mobile drill of that scale would be a marvel of engineering even by our modern standards.

1. Well hey, there’s the title card letting me know when the next episode starts.

Woah, the way the drill moves is so cool! I’m legitimately wondering if such a thing would actually be possible in our world with our physics. I don’t know why we would want to, but still. And of course Azula’s leading this attack. She gets all the best opportunities. And she’s smart too! The war minister guy is dismissive of the earthbenders, believing his drill to be impervious to earthbending attacks. You can practically smell the hubris. But Azula leaves nothing to chance and she sends her girls out to neutralize any potential threat.
And this is why we love Azula. She’s not just a scary villain, she’s a competent villain.

1. And the Earth Kingdom general shares the War Minister’s hubris. Why are the people in charge always the worst people to be in charge? Also, I love that Toph is the one to point out that Iroh broke through the wall.

So the Earth Kingdom’s elite Terra Team force were taken out by two teenage nonbenders from the Fire Nation in about twenty seconds. How have they lasted this long? Lol (I say two, but let’s be honest. Ty Lee’s doing the heavy lifting here)
Yes! I love that they acknowledge Sokka as the “Idea Guy”!
Iroh has got rizz for days lol I’m kind of surprised he only ever had one son. Jet wants to recruit Zuko. I’m totally down for that! They’re such an interesting pair!

1. I really love that Katara, whose probably the best waterbender in the world at this point, respects Ty Lee enough to recognize how dangerous she is. And Sokka had an idea! They’re going to take down the drill from the inside. Because how the hell else are they going to stop something that big?

Again with the underestimation! I swear Azula’s the only competent person in the entire Fire Nation military since Iroh retired.
Okay, engineer Sokka figured it out. It’s all a little too easy, isn’t it?

1. Ah shit, Jet just realized the truth, because Iroh used firebending to heat up his tea lol I think he’s getting a little too relaxed.

Okay, just the fact that they slice through metal with water at all is pretty impressive. And the drill has reached the wall, and Azula still doesn’t look impressed.
Oh yeah, I guess this is a pretty high stakes battle for them, huh? If they lose Ba Sing Se, they basically lose the entire Earth Kingdom, right? Omashu’s already fallen, the smaller villages and whatnot have no real defense. Ba Sing Se is the last big puzzle piece to world domination (aside from the water tribes, but they’re so isolated they’re not really a threat).
I love that Toph’s nickname for Aang is Twinkle Toes. Also I laughed at the War Minister’s face when he was side-eyeing Azula just then. +That’s the face of a man who’s about to be punished!

1. lol Sokka’s the only one with more rizz than Iroh! Maybe a legitimate battle strategy here would be to woo Ty Lee into switching sides? Aside from Azula she seems to be the most dangerous one. No offense to Mai, but she is kind of the odd woman out here.

Oh please let me get Aang and Azula 1v1! I really badly want to see how he fares against her without everyone else helping him. He’ll probably have to use the Avatar State to defeat her.
Ty Lee dives into the slurry after Katara and Sokka while Mai refuses. Yeah, Mai is the weak link here in Ozai’s Angels (I love that name, by the way).

1. Did Aang seriously think the general was going to hear him from that high up? Lol Toph’s helping Katara bend the slurry (how convenient that it’s both water and earth!). Ty Lee’s still trapped in it and the drill is about to blow. If I hadn’t learned my lesson on the last post, I’d probably be worried she might die in the explosion. But this is a kid’s show, she’ll be fine.

Here we go! Aang vs Azula! Her fighting style is so elegant. Every move she makes feels on purpose, if that makes sense. Like, whenever Aang fought Zuko, Zhao, or NPC firebenders their style is a little more chaotic and fearsome and rawr, you know? But Azula’s totally calm. Everything she’s doing feels calculated, and it’s working! If she hadn’t had to dodge that boulder after blasting Aang back she might have been able to deliver a finishing blow!
She beat him! He’s unconscious! Okay, well not anymore lol See… that right there was hubris (actually, it was kid’s show writing but whatever)! He was out for like fifteen seconds. She should have roasted him where he lay instead of picking him up and gloating.
Another fight with Azula ends in a draw with neither one beating the other! I’m starting to get a little peeved with all this edging lol but that was great! Azula is an absolute beast!

1. Okay, the way Aang hammered that rock spike into the drill was pretty epic. Mai’s “We lost” (and thank you for your contribution to the fight, Mai lol) is interesting. It’s true, they did lose. Not in the combat sense, Aang couldn’t beat Azula, but he didn’t have to. He just had to hold her off. Maybe that’s kind of a metaphor for the Fire Nation military in general. It’s very powerful, but it’s also marred by incompetence and weaknesses. Many of its generals are prideful and blind to their own weaknesses, or just outright incompetent. Look at this fight: even Mai just kind of gave up halfway through. If Ty Lee wasn’t trapped in the slurry, she might very well have been able to beat Katara, Sokka, and Toph, especially since they don’t Appa this time to bail them out. And if Mai had been with her, she might have been to break Katara’s concentration with a thrown weapon, thus freeing Ty Lee from the slurry.

I wondered how the Earth Kingdom lasted so long and maybe that’s just it. They can’t beat the Fire Nation, but they don’t have to. They just have to hold them off and the Fire Nation’s own shortcomings will end up beating themselves. It’s a hundred year stalemate.

1. Looks like Jet’s going to be causing a problem for Iroh and Zuko. I wonder if his relationship with them is what’s going to finally let him realize that not all Fire Nation people are inherently evil?

Hey, that’s Baby Hope! And Iroh gets to fawn over her too and I love that for him. You know, if Aang defeats the Fire Nation in a timely manner, Hope might actually get to grow up in a world at peace. Well, kind of. I’m sure there’s going to be massive issues with racism from generations of propaganda painting the other side as inhuman, huge demands for reparations, not to mention the territories the Fire Nation currently occupies. It’s been so long that there must be at least two generations of Fire Nation citizens who were born in and grew up in the Earth Kingdom, and I’m sure there’s been interbreeding with the Earth Kingdom people, because that’s what always happens with colonizers. Once they become established, genocide is pretty much the only way to get rid of them, and I doubt the Avatar is going to allow that.
So Hope’s probably going to grow up in pretty interesting times!
Um… is Ba Sing Se a city or is it a little walled country? Cuz all I see are farms and plains!
Katara, I love you, but you’re wrong. Team Avatar is going to catch on because it’s awesome, and that’s that.
Episode 13- City of Walls and Secrets

1. Oh, there’s an inner wall. So Ba Sing Se is kind of like the country in Attack on Titan! Oh yeah, in all of the excitement I almost forgot about Appa. Seriously, how many episodes has he been missing now? Damn, now that’s a city!

Yeah… something’s up with Joo Dee.
Walls inside that help maintain order? You mean walls that protect the rich and elite from the dirty poors? Lol Oh, Katara just confirmed it. They pen up all the poor people into a walled ghetto.

1. lol when Iroh’s talking about someone bringing home a lady friend, does he mean himself? Or Zuko? It is really interesting how their views of Ba Sing Se differ though. Iroh’s talking about getting a home, socializing, building a life, and he’s even found them jobs! Zuko sees the same situation as a prison.

Well, I’m glad Jet’s turning over a new leaf by letting the authorities handle things. Too bad I don’t trust the authorities to be any better.
Toph knows what’s up. Joo Dee is purposefully brushing Sokka off and distracting the group. I’m not sure why at the moment, but something is clearly up.

1. Of course they’re going to work in a tea shop! Lol Zuko’s right btw, all tea is hot leaf juice. Well, except for the teas that are hot root juice.

The cultural authority of Ba Sing Se, who guard their traditions and are called the Dai Li. Yeah… maybe it’s my conservative religious upbringing but when I hear about people “guarding their traditions” I immediately think of abuse, propaganda, and oppression. Generally people who are obsessed with traditions tend to be conservatives, who by their very nature cannot allow progress or improvement.
Someone important is trying to keep them under constant surveillance and prevent them from seeing the Earth King. In NATLA, there were spies in Omashu. Since Ba Sing Se is much bigger and more important, I imagine it’s riddled with Fire Nation spies as well, and somebody high ranking might be a traitor.

1. Joo Dee is kind of scary lol and clearly the citizens are terrified of her. But what’s interesting to me is that she’s preventing them from giving information about Appa, which suggests that whoever is stopping them from seeing the Earth King also has Appa. But why? What would be the point of keeping Aang away from Appa? Is it to restrict his mobility and make him easier to capture?

So people aren’t allowed to talk about the war, and the Dai Li seem to be responsible. But why? If everyone knows there’s a war going on anyway, why keep people from talking about it?
It’s lucky that Iroh borrowed his neighbor’s spark rocks, but why would he refrain from firebending in what he assumes is privacy? Unless he knows he’s being watched.

1. Huh, is the king’s pet bear the first normal animal on the show? Lol I am digging this undercover plan though.

I love that this show lets its characters try on different looks from time to time, even if they are mostly the same outfits. Katara and Toph’s high society get-ups are gorgeous!
The lost boys- I mean, freedom fighters are turning on Peter Pa- I mean, Jet. The weird thing is… he’s right! They are firebenders! But his behavior still isn’t healthy!

1. Okay, let’s go! Jet’s hurling accusations and attacking them in public! And now Zuko’s fighting back with swords. It’s the duel of the dual-wielders! Honestly, this is probably good for Zuko. He needs to blow off some steam after everything he’s been through.

Well how about that? Security at the palace is actually competent and Toph can’t bluff her way in.
This Long Feng guy is cultural minister to the king, which means he’s probably the bad guy! And also we haven’t met any other high ranking government officials with names, so he’s currently the only option lol

1. Geez, Zuko straight up intended to decapitate Jet right there. If Jet were a little slower, he would have! Man, I hope they do this fight scene in NATLA.

Uh-oh, scary lady Joo Dee is the scared one now. But can I just say how much I like her facial expressions?
Yeah… can’t blame them for arresting Jet. He did look like a crazy person.
The Dai Li’s specific brand of earthbending is very cool! It almost doesn’t seem like bending at all, if that makes sense. The stones they use are like a part of their own body. And of course Long Feng is their leader.
Okay I get the king is just a puppet and Long Feng is the real rule of the country, but I still don’t understand why he doesn’t allow mention of the war in the city. I mean, it’s common knowledge! A significant portion of their population are literally refugees fleeing war! Who doesn’t know
Oh… is it the king? Does the king just not know there’s a war happening and Long Feng keeps it from him so he can stay in charge? I mean, that’s still a stretch but it would explain why he doesn’t want Team Avatar talking to the king.

1. Jet is being hypnotized. Also, I do want to point out that I have seen “There is no (whatever) in Ba Sing Se” many times in the wild lol it’s nice to see where it comes from!

Ah… Long Feng is holding Appa as leverage over Aang.
I didn’t think Joo Dee could be any scarier but here we are! This episode almost has horror movie vibes.
Concluding thoughts: This was a fantastic couple/throuple of episodes! I loved seeing Suki again, and I really enjoyed how the refugee subplot ties so perfectly in with Iroh and Zuko. The whole drill sequence was probably the best “action” the show has had thus far and that’s saying something. It’s also nice to have my suspicions that the Earth Kingdom has its own corruption problems and bad guys confirmed.
I have a new theory to replace my “Iroh’s going to die theory”. They’ve been showing us all season how Zuko isn’t really cut out for life on the run, whereas Iroh embraces it. I think they’re driving to a separation between Zuko and Iroh. He may not have died, but narratively speaking Zuko and Iroh have to part ways permanently or semi-permanently for his character to grow. Iroh has been propping him up and supporting him this whole time, now it’s time for Zuko to leave the nest and become his own person.
My new theory is that Iroh will enjoy his new life in Ba Sing Se so much that he elects to stay there permanently, whereas Zuko is too restless to do so. He can’t go back to the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom will not accept him, so his only choice is to join Team Avatar, where he will likely end up teaching Aang firebending.
And to expand further on a previous theory of mine, which was: Azula will kill or depose Ozai. I’ve accepted at this point that death is off the table. Kid’s show and all that. But I noticed something… lots of people were quick to say that Azula would never kill Ozai. But not one person has said she wouldn’t depose him in those refutations (unless I’m misremembering but I don’t think I am). Since you all know not to hint at things or spoil them, I think your eagerness to point out that she won’t kill Ozai is an attempt to mislead me into thinking the whole theory is wrong so I’ll be surprised when she ends up deposing (not killing) him. I mean, I could be wrong but I have a strong feeling that the final villain is going to be Fire Lord Azula, with Ozai in exile somewhere (that would be fitting! The man who banishes his own son ends up being banished himself!).
Maybe that will even be the conclusion of Zuko’s arc! While Aang goes off to save the world from Azula, Zuko splits up to confront Ozai himself! Where we are in the show right now, it really does feel like Azula is Aang’s primary antagonist whereas Ozai is Zuko’s primary antagonist.
By the way, from here on out, no confirming or denying my theories either way, okay? Let it unfold naturally, and let me figure things out on my own. I mean, where’s the fun in just giving me the answers?
And also, some of you could be a little nicer with your criticisms. I had to block someone last time I posted and I don’t want to do that anymore. It’s fine to disagree with me, it’s fine to explain why you disagree with me. Hell, most of you do! I don’t mind that, I like that we all have different views of things even if I don’t agree. It makes things interesting! But don’t talk down to me, don’t use belittling language, don’t be disrespectful. Whenever I don’t like something about ATLA (or like something about NATLA) some of you seem to take it as a personal insult or something.
Just be polite, that’s all I ask.
Okay, I’ll see you same time next week probably!

Bobby is the best. Jay is the man. Bert is cool.
My girlfriend and I were able to attend the live Bonfire broadcast at the SiriusXM Garage studio in Los Angeles. We had front row seats. You can hear Bobby and Jay goof on me a little at the 27 minute mark, Jay calls me "Chief Ron Jeremy", after the premise was setup by Bobby that my girlfriend looked native american. I'm odd-looking, and my girlfriend is pretty, it attracts attention, I get it. It was great, we loved it. Bobby shook my hand as he walked into the studio at the beginning, Jay references Bobby "ingratiating himself" to the audience at the beginning of the broadcast after Bobby shook my hand.
The entire event was such a surreal experience. When we were in the lobby of the studio, we chatted with some fellow attendees, all of them fans. Jacob and Black Lou walked through the lobby, I'm not used to seeing famous people, I saw Jacob and I blurted out "Hey, you're Jacob..!" He was gracious, said hello, I was so star struck I didn't have a follow up to my yelling out, lol. I was just trying to let all the fans know THE Jacob Battat was standing right there, in the flesh. I think he thought I was going to goof on him or something, as soon as I had no next comment for him, he started making his way through the lobby (baba booey of howard stern fame often detailed how meeting fans in person would lead to said fans making fun of Gary like they thought they were Howard; I think Jacob is fantastic, I would never do this.) I managed to blurt out one more thing "huge fans Jacob!", he turned once again and said thank you as he and Black Lou finished walking through the lobby.
For the main event we were ushered into a studio with small stadium-like seating, we waited for about 20 minutes before the rockstars finally made their way in. Another crazy surreal moment. I love Bobby and Jay so much, seeing them in person was nuts. And then Bobby turning to me as he was walking up to the host seating area at the beginning of the show and shaking my hand, that was really sweet. I got the impression that Bobby might have had the hots for my gf, at some point during the broadcast Bobby starts to detail some sultry dream he recently had with an Indian (native american) woman, and he kinda pointed at my gf as he was telling it. Again, this was all great, I loved it. I have to admit when Bert showed up I was the slightest bit disappointed, only because I know of Bert's reputation for taking over an event, and I was so excited to see Jay and Bobby. Bert was a pro, he was great, funny, high energy, kept it going for the fans. Bert is cool.
Christine was also there, she came into the studio briefly during the event. Christine is beautiful, she is lovely, and a very sexy woman.
One of the best experiences of my life.
I love you Bobby Kelly
I love you Big Jay
The Bonfire rules!!

Throw away as my husband knows my real account. A bit of background I’m Indian and when I was a freshman in HS a group of popular seniors heard the song Sweet taste of India and decided to get freshman Indian girlfriends. We didn’t know it at the time that was why they were interested in us. I was just thrilled to have a popular senior football player interested in ugly dark skinnned me. He was manipulative and semi abusive. Never hit me but love bombed, was emotionally manipulative, flirted with other girls to make me jealous, withheld affection when I wouldn’t have sex with him, and convinced me to let him take nude Polaroids of me when I was 15 and he was about to turn 18. He said things like we had to start having sex before he turned 18 for legal reasons, or he needed to leave me and be with someone more mature. Every time we had sex after the first time he always asked permission to make love to me. I always said yes. He then left me that summer to join the marines. I was devastated and depressed and ashamed.
I’m now married to an amazing guy who happens to be black, but never changed my name for professional reasons. Our children are mixed but very dark. Two weeks ago my 15 year old son “borrowed” my car with his friends to go get alcohol and weed. One of his friends had a BB gun that looks real. They got caught being stupid. I know how this could have gone. When they got pulled over right after buying the weed my ex asked who the car belonged to and asked if I was his mom. Overall he was professional during the stop we have it on our dash cam. He confiscated the BB gun weed and booze and made all kids call their parents and gave a lecture and made them take the kids home. Mentioned he did a lot of stupid stuff when he was a kid and didn’t want to see good kids have their life ruined, and felt parents could discipline their kids better than the court and said thank you for raising polite young men. My husband could tell I recognized him and asked but I just said we went to the same high school and he was an asshole jock in H.S. All the other kids parents wrote letters to the station saying how great and professional he was. It’s been several weeks and I haven’t heard from ex. But I just keep worrying he’s gonna contact me and want something. Should I reach out to him first. Maybe he really is sorry? Should I tell my husband the whole story? I’m just a whole ball of worry right now.

Hold your horses for a second, let me clarify a couple of things.
Im going to go through each Altaïr memory and explain why certain things support my conclusion and then explain why Altaïr may have done this.
Btw this will be a long read, so get ready.
MEMORY 1
I recommend you pull up a youtube video of all the AC Revelations Altaïr Cutscenes if you want to understand what i will be saying better.
This mission takes place before the events of AC1.
In this mission you kill a Templar who has ben pretending to be an Assassin. In the confession scene, the Templar says: "You put too much faith in the hearts of men, Altaïr. The Templars know the truth. Humans are weak, base, and petty."
Altaïr responds: "No. Our Creed is evidence to the contrary."
After the confession scene, Al Mualim says: "You offered him a chance to salvage his dignity, Why?"
Altaïr responds: "No man should pass from this world without knowing some kindness."
Al Mualim says: But he shunned your graces.
Altair responds: As was his right.
For anybody who paid attention to the story in AC1, there's a couple of MASSIVE problems with these conversations.
In these conversations Altaïr is extremely wise. He believes whole heartedly in the Assassin's Creed and seems to know who the templars are. This directly contradicts AC1, because Altaïr only learns about the templar brotherhood halfway into the game, and remember this memory takes place BEFORE AC1. In AC1 Altair was an extremely arrogant, rude and cocky man, the direct opposite of the man we see in this "memory" seal.
There are three possibilities, Either Altaïr was lying through his teeth the entire time to get that sweet master Assassin promotion from Al Mualim and somehow forgot about the templars, or he was Actually an extremely wise man who somehow became an arse between this memory and AC1 and once again somehow forgot about the templars (maybe fell on his head or something?) OR, the most likely possibility that would explain all of these inconsistencies, there is something fundamentally wrong with this memory.
Some context before i cover memory 2, it's one of the conversations during the Al Mualim fight at the end of AC1, so feel free to scross past this bit if you remember the conversation well, if you don't then read it, because it's extremely important.
During Altaïr's confrontation of Al Mualim, Altaïr says: "You lied to me, called Robert's goal foul when all along it was yours aswell."
Al Mualim says: "I've never been much good at sharing"
Altaïr says: "You won't succed, others will find the strength to stand against you."
Al Mualim says: "And this is why so long as men maintain freewill, there can be no peace."
Altaïr says: "I killed the last man who spoke as such"
Al Mualim says: "Bold words boy, but just words."
Altaïr says: "Then let me go, I'll put words into action."
All Mualim laughs
"Tell me master, why not make me like the other Assassin's, why allow me to retain my mind?"
Al Mualim says: "Who you are, and what you do are twined too tight together, to rob you of one would've deprived me of the other. And those templars had to die. sigh but the truth is, i did try, in my study, when i showed you the treasure, but are not like the others, you saw though the illustration."
Altaïr says: "Illusion?"
Al Mualim says: "That's all it's ever done, this templar treasure, this piece of eden this word of god. Do you understand now? The red sea was never parted, water never turned to wine, it was not the machinations of Eris, that spawned the trojan war, but THIS! Illusions! All of them."
Altaïr says: "What you plan is no less an Illusion, to force men to follow you against their will"
Al Mualim says: "Is it any less real than the phantoms the Saracens and Crusaders follow now? Those kraven Gods who retreat from this world that men might slaughter one another in their names? They live amongst an illusion already, im simply giving them another, one that demands less blood."
Altaïr says: "Atleast they choose these phantoms."
Al Mualim says: "Oh do they? Aside from the occasional convert or heritic?
Altaïr says: "It isn't right!"
Al Mualim says: "Ah, and now logic has left you, in it's place, you imbrace emotion, i am disappointed."
Altaïr says: "what's to be done then?"
Al Mualim says: "You will not follow me, and i cannot compell you."
Altaïr says: "And you refuse to give up this evil scheme!"
Al Mualim says: "It seems then we are at an impass."
Altaïr says: "No, we are at an end."
Al Mualim says. "Ah i will miss you Altaïr, you were my very best student."
they then fight
MEMORY 2:
In the brief AC1 "flashback," which shows brief parts of the Al Mualim fight, there is a new quote that Altaïr says after he killed Al Mualim, not present in AC1.
"Forgive me Mentor, but the apple corrupted you. And through you it would have corrupted us... for us to live, you had to die."
Later, Abbas asks him: "you believe Al Mualim fell under [The Apple's] spell?" To which Altaïr responds: "I do. Today he used the Apple to enslave Masyaf. You saw that for yourself."
Let me explain why Al Mualim WASN'T corrupted by the Apple. He was colluding with the templars before he had possession of the apple. He betrayed the templars, and sent Altaïr after them to secure the apple for himself. He knew the effects the apple had on people. We know this due to his collusion with the templars, being privy to their plans as Robert tells us, and being aware of the experments being performed to simulate the apple's effects by Garnier de Naplouse. He clearly had motive, believing that as long as men had freewill there could be no peace, which is why he probably collaborated with the templars in the first place, and he had planned this for awhile as evidenced by that conversation between him and Altaïr.
As is also evidenced by that conversation, Altaïr did not believe Al Mualim had been bewitched by the Apple by the time they were finished talking, Al Mualim was clear and direct about his plans and motivations prior to acquiring the apple during their conversation and everything he said is consistent with what robert told us. And once he no longer had the apple, during the confession scene, he doubled down on what he believed, so it's clear that in from Altaïr's perspective atleast he was of sound mind.
But all of a sudden in Revelations Altaïr is asking for forgiveness and saying the apple corrupted him? Neither of these things make sense so either Altaïr is forgetting everything that just happened, or something is wrong with this memory.
MEMORY 3 and 4:
I love these memories, but they make some changes from the AC1 Novelisation The Secret Crusade, that i really don't like, Im going to do my best to explain what happens in the novel briefly.
When Altaïr leaves to face Genghis Khan, he places Malik, his enemy turned best friend and the Rafiq of the Jerusalem Bureau, in charge of Masyaf and the Assassin's. After a few years Abbas kills Altaïr's youngest son and blames it on Malik, staging a coup, putting himself in charge, and imprisoning Malik. Altaïr returns from Asia and eventually finds Malik who tells him the truth, Malik then dies. Then Altaïr confronts Abbas and is driven out of Masyaf. When he returns to masyaf after years in exile, it isn't a random group of Assassin's he meets and immediately gets help from, it is Maliks son, also named Malik.
(Im going to call the father Malik Sr and the son Malik Jr)
The stuff with Malik Sr happened before the third mission starts, so this isn't a massive deal, im just upset it wasn't included.
Malik Jr on the other hand, as well as all of the things he does, and his conversations with Altaïr are completely gone.
Before Revelations release, this was the canon conclusion to Altaïr's story, some of Altaïr's Codex from AC2 is taken directly from this book. The book exists in the lore of Assassin's Creed.
So either the book is no longer canon, which can't be true because the codex pages from AC2 are from this book. Or, only certain parts of the book are canon (boring answer.) Or either Niccolo Polo or Altaïr are lying about the existence of Malik Jr (but y tho?) OR the memories are altered in some way.
MEMORIES 5 AND 6:
These memories are perfect, there's nothing about them i need to critique for this theory, however remember the voices that Altaïr hears in memory 6, it will be important later.
SOME EVIDENCE FROM AC MIRAGE???
let me explain what the memory seal are. They are only called "memory seals" by humans, we have no idea what the ISU would've called these devices. Altaïr found these seals below Alamut, which is where he spent his exile in the years between memories 3 and 4.
In Assassin's Creed Mirage we learn that the ISU chamber below Alamut was an ISU prison, and the seals are prison records. In Mirage we only see one of these seals, which contains a memory of Basim being tortured by "the jailer."
The Aesir, Odin, Freya, Tyr, and the other norse gods ruled what would later become Scandinavia, before the catastrophe.
Basim who now has loki's memories and personality, says at the end of AC Mirage: "i shed my skin once, in another time, another place. But i am whole again. I remember. And as for those who thought to bind me, should any of them still walk the earth, i so look forward to our reunion."
This indicates to me, that Basim was imprisoned by Odin and friends, and the prison must belong to them, meaning that Iran was also under Aesir control? i suppose? Modern AC has kinda screwed the continuity but i digress.
This means that this prison, which had clear prisoner mistreatment, to the point that it gave loki, and likely many others PTSD and probably far worse problems was being ran by a dictatorship (with Odin being the dictator.)
Now what im about to say is pure speculation, so take it with a grain of salt.
These "memory" seals can probably be tampered with by the people in power in order to make up false confessions and maintain control over whatever narrative they want people to believe and by extention, the people.
The templars use the animus to record memories, but then release "inhanced" versions of these memories to the public, like with the abstergo entertainment game "Liberation." Assassin's Creed Liberation is literally an in universe game made by Abstergo. In the game a hacker will reveal to you how to unlock the true ending, the true version of a memory that was altered by abstergo. So is it really so far fetched to claim that the ISU were capable of doing something similar to this with their seals?
In the last two Altaïr memories, and the memory in Mirage, Altaïr and the Jailer are both using the seals as the memory is being recorded. However, in the first four memories Altaïr doesn't have the seals.
He had obtained them by the time we get to the fourth one, but it's unclear if he had them on him, and if he did, whether or not he was live recording the memory, however due to the inconsistencies in that memory and the fact we dont see him hold one in that memory i don't believe he did.
CONCLUSION:
As I've pointed out there are several issues with the continuity of these memories and AC1, AC2 and The Secret Crusade book. All of these issues are solved if we accept that the first four seals are not accurate memories.
Okay, but what's the reason they aren't accurate then?
There's two possibilities.
Firstly in Altaïr's old age he is misremembering important details of these older memories, which is why the later, more recent memories are more accurate. We know Altaïr is literally hearing voices by the time we get to his last memory, so is it really far fetched to suggest he may have a touch of dementia?
The second possibility, is that Altaïr has intentionally manipulated these memories.
The first question you might ask is, how would he even do that? Well I'll answer your question with another one: How do you even record a memory on a seal in the first place? I mean there's no buttons or instruction manual. I think both of these questions have the same answer, either the apple told him, or he figured it out.
Ok, so it's possible that if these seals can be manipulated like you claim, then Altaïr would easily learn how, i mean the apple showed him how to make a glock, so it's likely, but, erm, buckaroo, WHY WOULD ALTAÏR MANIPULATE THESE MEMORIES??? The answer is simple.
The first memory teaches compassion for all humans.
The second one teaches that the Apple can corrupt a man even as wise as Al Mualim.
The fourth one teaches that rousing the people to help achieve your goals will always work better than trying to do it alone.
These are the memories with the most inconsistencies, and this is because these memories have been altered in order to teach whatever future Assassin that finds them the lessons they will need to lead a Brotherhood. These lessons are ones Ezio has already learned by the time he finds them, so for him they are more about reflecting on his own life. It's also worth noting that Ezio taught many of Altaïr's lessons to Shao Jun.
I've wrote this in my notes app so apologies if the formatting isn't the best. Btw i came up with this myself, to my knowledge nobody has posted a theory similar to this. If you want to use my theory message me or something to tell me :) Im going to turn this into a video tommorow anyways, credit is appreciated.
So there you have it, thats my evidence, and that's my conclusion, what do ya'll think?

title may make me sound deluded, but let me explain.
i [18F] have been with my girlfriend [17F], officially, for six months. we started talking to each other in august and then became official in december. she didn’t really ask me nor did i ask her, it was more a conversation where i said softly that if she didn’t want to be my girlfriend, i couldn’t keep her in my life - not in a horrible way, but i wanted a label and she wasn’t very out at the time so she wasn’t sure of what she wanted. i didn’t put any pressure on her and let her knew it was her call. she decided to be my girlfriend.
fast forward to now, and things have been good. we’ve bickered quite a bit recently but we are both have final exams and coursework due in, so i’ve tried to pin it down to that.
we were having a normal conversation over snapchat where i brought up the fact that our mutual friend was asking out the girl they’ve been speaking to via writing a letter. my girlfriend said she found it cringey but i said it was sweet. we then joked about how weirdly our relationship started.
i then asked her when she would have asked me out if i hadn’t brought up that discussion. she said she never would have. taken aback by this, i said that she said i love you a month in to our relationship, and asked would she seriously want to be in love with someone she isn’t in a relationship with. she said she would.
she went onto say that she sees me as a ‘really really really close mate that i love and find sexy’, which has given me complete whiplash. i definitely think you should be best friends with your partner, but she doesn’t see me as her girlfriend? i asked her this and she confirmed that, no, she does not see our relationship in those terms. she said that when she thinks of relationships, she thinks about being restricted. i said i am not here to restrict her, i just expect loyalty.
i’m hesitant to keep this conversation going. she has her first exam for her a-levels tomorrow and i don’t want her being focused on the wrong thing. but i feel really hurt and don’t want to leave it too long to discuss it. i’m quite hurt and annoyed and i don’t know the best way to navigate this.

No Smut
Partners and their characters must be AT LEAST 23 and no older than 38
Your character is a well known celebrity! This could include a hockey player, race car driver, senator, musician, other athletes, movie star, etc. Lately he has been all over the media and not for the right reason. He’s been out partying, getting caught doing drugs, with a new woman every night, and / or getting into fights. The press has been laying into him with each new circumstance and it’s starting to affect his career, badly. And what’s the best way to make everyone think he’s not a huge playboy? Get a serious girlfriend that makes it look like he’s calmed down just for her. She’s the one that keeps him out of trouble.
Bad part is, he doesn’t have that, but he does have money and with an app made for sugar babies he might be able to find the right girl to get his reputation back in line with.
OR
Our characters are both celebrities and needing a boost in publicity somehow. Their managers come together to make them into some super cute power couple. The only issue is that the two of them cannot stand each other when they’re not in front of the cameras or out in public. Even then that’s a hard time for them to get along.
Hey there! I’m female and 26 years old. I’m looking for someone to roleplay this plot (or the others on my profile) with me! This will be safe for work and done via discord. You MUST be able to write in third person. I would like at least one good paragraph to two paragraphs per reply and someone that can reply daily. I get that people get busy, but please don’t leave me hanging. I love drama and romance in my stories while also making friends out of character. I like to send tons of references ranging from pictures to quotes to Tiktoks. Please send a message or chat with your age, writing sample, and any ideas you have or what your character will be like!

hello to reddit, i don't really want to share my name and personal stuff so let's get to the main problem. as today may 13th, my father that i never did disrespected him yelled at me and i feel like a literal unwanted children of them. and don't get me wrong, it's not because he yelled. he said that how ungrateful i am that they put food on the table, pay for college bills and love me and i don't said thank you once and as you can expect, i recently DID said thank you to them and it's a daily thing, they said i was never the type of kid that deserved this despite me always being that perfect kid they wanted, high grades and little to no bad behavior, always being sweet to them and never and i say NEVER disrespectful. my girlfriend that i literally treat her like a princess, got cold and i don't know where's the problem, shes always being so energetic and positive to her friends ( and of course they treat her like absolute garbage ) but when it reaches to me.. she's a soulless being. my friends were never toxic in the past 5 years but recently, they did became toxic and tried to get me off of my relationship, try out drugs and all that kind of crap. im not giving up on any of them.. i just want to slove this little things so i could continue on living and improving JUST BECAUSE OF THEM. ( sorry if my english isn't as good as a native speaker, im from asia and it's only been 3 years of self taught english )

Its about my close friend lets say her name is "Rachel".annnd there is a boy who is her "close friend" (like hehugs her, kiss her from the cheeks and hair and necketc.) says "she is his girlfriend" romanticly as a "joke".Jealous of her from the other guys AS A "JOKE" asksher "lets get married and travel around the world" andthen he says to her "you are thinking you and me asa couple???? realllyyyyy?!?!?!! dont say to me that youlike me cus ill be shocked and we are friends. we arereeaaallyyyy good friends and i like that." (if this wouldhappen then he starts to think there is no femaleand male friendship) AND HE SAYS DIRECTLY "I LIKEYOU BEING INTELLIGENT AND YOU HAVE A MATUREBEHAVIOR ITS REALLY SWEET" AFTER THAT. he sees hereveryday and when he couldnt see her you had to be surethat he calls her. HE. DEFINITELY. WILL. CALLS. HER. andat least once in a day "i miss you pls come with me tobla bla are you in school can i come over???" physically,like i was with them and i saw them, they have a little bitkdrama kind of moment, when the bus stops suddenlyhe was leaning to her not like touching her but there isa tension why he acts like hot and cold? mixed signals?he keeps saying we're just friends and keeps act flirtyat the same fuckn time. shes totally feel lost about thissituation. TOTALLY LOST. any advice for her?

I’ve already posted something about her situation on this platform before but my girlfriend wanted me to post this for help so here is her story:
Hi! So I am a 16-year-old girl, and I need some advice. Basically, I have been through abuse and neglect as a child, I (and others) would say more than most. My mom is a recovering addict and my dad is incarcerated. I lived with my mom until I was 3 years old then we got evicted due to her relapsing, then we were moving between crack houses until I was almost 4 when her sister found out where I was and came to get me. A month later, I moved in with my other aunt and lived there for about 3.5–4 years until I moved halfway across the country to live with my mom again which lasted for 6 months until once again, she relapsed. I finished out third grade and moved back with my aunt for another 3–3.5-ish years. She developed some health problems so I moved in with some family friends where I was adopted at the age of 11. They were narcissistic and emotionally abusive (saying I was worthless, that they wished they never adopted me, etc.) On top of that, I don’t really know if this is considered physical abuse but I have been thrown across rooms by my hair and kicked into the door of the oven (which was off) and received many bruises and a few scars. About 7.5 months ago on my sweet 16, they locked me out of the house, took $2,655 from me (paid back due to threat of suing), told me to never come back, and called my aunt to come pick me up. CPS was involved and did nothing because they believed the adults with high-paying jobs instead of the teenager who didn't even want to have them involved in the first place (my guidance counselor called against my wishes). Back to now: I am a junior in high school and have normal teenage tendencies (at least according to today’s teens) such as trying new things. I have tried vaping, drinking, and THC gummies but nothing worse than that. I got caught with the gummies and I was told that I am no longer allowed to see my “friend” (my girlfriend, my uncle is homophobic, and I’m scared to tell my aunt that I'm a lesbian) Anywho, she threatened to send me in a group home. I don’t know what to do at this point and I'm asking anyone and everyone for some advice. Also before responding, please acknowledge that I am diagnosed with PTSD, and ADHD and suffer from anxiety/depression. Additionally, my grades have been slipping due to a lack of sleep and stress (side effects of both my ADHD and the medication I take for it). I was also previously an honor student and now I struggle to keep a 3.5 GPA. I did tell my aunt about these things but she thinks I'm lying.