Top 3 thing you would do anything with your boyfriend

Suicide by words

2017.09.21 21:03 Eronine Suicide by words

A sub about self inflicted insults.
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2019.08.20 20:51 whenthe

The funny moving pictures with text subreddit (REIMAGINED) 😔✊
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2016.02.09 17:21 yellowduckie_21 Meatless Meal Prep Sunday

A place for redditors who meal prep to post their vegan or vegetarian meal prep creations.
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2024.05.15 15:05 Soft_Throat_9821 What should i look for in a motorbike instructor?

When choosing a motorbike instructor, there are several important factors to consider to ensure you receive quality training and guidance. Here are some key things to look for:
Meath Motorcycle AcademyPass your driving test At Meath motorcycle Academy we are experts in driving test preparation, we also provide bike hire on the day of the test (terms and conditions apply). Our areas co vered are Mulhuddart carlton Hotel, Navan, Tallaght, Naas, Deansgrange,Mullingar.https://meathmotorcycleacademy.ie/
  1. Certification and Experience: Look for instructors who are certified by recognized motorcycle safety organizations or have extensive experience in teaching riding skills. Check their credentials and inquire about their background in motorcycle riding and instruction.
  2. Teaching Style: Everyone learns differently, so find an instructor whose teaching style aligns with your learning preferences. Some instructors may emphasize hands-on practice, while others may focus more on theory and explanation. Choose someone who can adapt their teaching methods to suit your needs.
  3. Communication Skills: A good instructor should be able to communicate clearly and effectively, explaining complex concepts in a way that is easy to understand. They should also be patient and supportive, especially with beginners who may be nervous or unsure.
  4. Safety Focus: Safety should always be a top priority during motorcycle training. Ensure that the instructor emphasizes safety protocols, teaches defensive riding techniques, and provides guidance on how to handle various road conditions and hazards.
  5. Feedback and Progress Evaluation: Look for an instructor who provides constructive feedback on your riding skills and progress. They should regularly assess your performance and identify areas for improvement, helping you become a safer and more confident rider.
  6. Reputation and Reviews: Do some research to find out about the instructor's reputation and track record. Read reviews from past students to get an idea of their experiences and satisfaction with the training provided.
  7. Facilities and Equipment: Consider the quality of the training facilities and equipment used by the instructor. A well-maintained training area and modern teaching aids can enhance the learning experience.
  8. Cost and Availability: Compare the cost of training sessions with different instructors, but don't base your decision solely on price. Also, consider factors like scheduling flexibility and the availability of lesson times that fit your schedule.
By considering these factors, you can choose a motorbike instructor who will provide you with comprehensive, effective, and enjoyable training to help you become a skilled and confident rider.
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submitted by Soft_Throat_9821 to u/Soft_Throat_9821 [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 15:05 SmediumFry AITA for getting rid of a dog I couldn’t take care of?

I’ve been a lurker for a while but this has been on my mind lately and I wanted some insight from others. Bear with me, it’s gonna be a long one cuz there’s a lot of back story.
So, about 2 years ago I was doing lashes and started my own business and I met a woman, let’s call her Jen. Jen had 3 dogs that lived with her and her bf. She worked a lot and he did too but from home so it worked for the dogs. Except one of them, let’s call him Buddy. So they had found Buddy as a stray and took him in. He was a 90lb pit bull mix, super sweet but also barely 2 so he was still in his puppy phase a bit and VERY playful. Anyway she tells me that she’s trying to find a home for him and I tell her that my bf (at the time) really wanted his own dog.
So we talk about the dog she tells me he’s house trained and whatnot and I also talk to my bf and we agree to take the dog. We go get him shortly after and bring him home and she tells me “if you ever can’t take care of him please let me know and we’ll come take him back”. Things were fine at first since I already have a dog and they got along really well and played all the time. But then he started pooping in the house and generally just being fairly destructive. I was living in an apt so I didn’t have a yard but it was an 800+ sq ft loft with 2 floors and they had plenty of room to play in and plenty of toys for enrichment. And we took them on 2 30 min walks every day (plus shorter ones for bathroom breaks). Still he would poop in the house while we were working. And I wasn’t working much at this time, but I felt I couldn’t leave him free in the house and I do not like locking dogs in their kennel unless I really need to.
So next time I see her I ask her why she lied about him being house broken and she basically tells me that “well we just let him outside and he goes” and tells me he doesn’t really know how to use a leash or wait to use the bathroom. Like
this is a 90 lb dog and you DIDNT actually train him
at all?? And then lied about it?? Obviously I was upset but still kept him because I made the commitment.
A few weeks later, me and my bf got into a HUGE fight. We had spent the night drinking beer, listening to music, and playing video games and around 3 am he went to the bathroom. After about 30 min it was really quiet in the house so I assumed he went to bed and got ready to go upstairs myself. When I got up there he was in the bathroom so I laid in bed and started reading a book on my phone. He came out and asked if I was reading and when I said yes he sighed SUPER hard and I was like umm wtf? And he tried to say he just felt nauseous. I said “feeling nauseous ain’t never made me sigh like that but ok”. He gets upset that I “assumed” the sigh was towards me. I say “if I answer a question and you sigh right after it’s logical for me to assume it was towards me” and he says he understands and agrees. I try to go to sleep.
Here’s where it all blew up. He gets to going on and on about how I always assume the worst and I’m this and that and blah blah. It’s 330 am and I’m like fuck this I’m just gonna go. I start to get dressed and he gets to saying all this awful stuff about me like “you never loved me, you’re a horrible person” accuses me of cheating on him constantly. And at one point I just said “I’m gonna just agree to everything you say cuz I’m not arguing with you. He says “you prolly finna go fuck another nigga” I tell him yes I am. “You don’t love me” I tell him he’s right I don’t. He loses his shit. He’s literally screaming at me calling me a bitch, saying fuck you over and over, telling me how awful I am and how only somebody fucked up could lead him on like that, etc. It was honestly worse but I think you get the point.
One of the last things he does before he leaves is look me in my eyes and say “I’m gonna fucking k*ll myself and it’s your fault”. For reference, my first bf committed suicide a week after my 17th birthday. I was obviously devastated and traumatized by this and he knew about it. He said it to hurt me. Needless to say, the next day when he tried apologizing I simply told him I was done.
Fast forward a couple weeks and he’s still around cuz he didn’t really have anywhere else to go and I’m too kindhearted to let someone I cared about be homeless so he was sleeping on my couch. Me and an old ex got back in touch (we were still friends but distant) and he invited me to come see his house he had recently bought and to show me an album he’d been working on. I agreed and my ex (one living with me) overheard and was clearly upset but I told him it’s none of his business.
Next day I go over it ended up getting really late so I just stayed over there. Next morning I get a text telling me that my ex was in the hospital because he tried to commit suicide. His sister found him and he was gonna be in the hospital for a few days. This sent me into an emotional and mental spiral because I couldn’t help but blame myself. At the same time, I’m still talking care of both the dogs but it was just too much. So I reached out to Jen and tell her I’m really having a rough time mentally and I could really use some help and if she could please take him back. She basically tells me “it’s not a good time for us right now”. So I tell her that I’ll keep him until I find a home for him.
A few days later I could finally talk to my ex in the hospital and at first things were fine and then he started blaming me for what he did and I just couldn’t take it. I told him he needed to get all his things out of my house when he was better and he needed to find somewhere for his dog to go. Also again I reached out to Jen to see if she could take him. She still couldn’t and eventually my ex found a place for him. An older couple that his grandmother was close with had recently lost their dog who was about the same size. They also lived on a ranch. We thought it was perfect and so my ex took him there to live with them.
Probably about a week later I see Jen and she asks me about Buddy and I tell her what happened and that we rehomed him. She was really upset and was telling me that she didn’t know I needed help that bad and if she did she would have taken him back. Mind you, I asked her at least twice to take him and she said no. I reminded her of this and she said if she knew it was that bad she would have helped. I say I don’t think I should have to explain every detail of what’s going on in my life for her to understand that I needed help.
She was really upset still. And she texted me later saying how her and her bf had both been crying and how much they loved Buddy. But like
if you love him so much why not take him back?? Didn’t and still doesn’t make sense to me. Anyway that pretty much ended our friendship and I haven’t heard from her since. I don’t really think I did anything wrong but for some reason it’s been on my mind a lot lately. So AITA for rehoming the dog?
Tl;dr Me and bf adopted a dog from someone I knew. We broke up and he tried to unalive himself. I tried to give the dog back because I was spiraling mentally and they said no. I rehomed the dog to an older couple that lived on a ranch. The person I got the dog from was very upset and we haven’t talked since.
submitted by SmediumFry to AITAH [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:59 crimsontape This week's grocery review - Sales for May 16th to May 22nd - Lots of BBQ items and excellent corn deals! But, cucumber pricing is down quite a bit. Nice spread of sales on tomatoes. LOTS of blueberry and strawberry deals around! Some good mango and cherry sales, too. Fewer sales on fresh chicken an

(As always, flyers are out Wednesdays, most store sales for the new flyer start on Thursdays)
Adonis
Farm Boy
Farmers Pick (can be a little late on their flyer) (https://www.farmerspick.ca/flyer-specials)
Food Basics
FoodLand
Freshco (price matcher)
Giant Tiger (*note the VIP prices; sales begin today) (price matcher)
Green Fresh Supermarket (Vanier) (check https://greenfreshottawa20.wixsite.com/greenfreshottawa)
IGA (price matcher)
Independent
Loblaws
Provigo
Maxi (price matcher)
Metro
No Frills (price matcher)
Produce Depot (usually a little late on the flyer) https://producedepot.ca/
Real Canadian Superstore (price matcher)
Sobeys
Super C
T&T Supermarket https://www.tntsupermarket.com
Walmart
Costco (Note that these are the online/shipped prices - reduce each item by $3 for in-store pricing)
Jean Coutu (new sales start Fridays)
Shoppers Drug Mart (new sales start Fridays)
Some additional references!
submitted by crimsontape to ottawa [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:57 pohltergiest Mountains all around

Mountains all around
Stupid stupid sleeping mat why won't it just have all the holes at once instead of having a new one each night. I've cut my remaining patches such that I'll have enough to cover 20 holes if necessary. I'll go to war with this thing before I give in and buy a new one. I patched the thing on the roof of the tent by dribbling water on it til I found bubbles. I'll do it again tonight and probably find more. Nasty holes. Terrible holes.
Anyways I slept fine, just a little interrupted. Every day I feel like I'm not sick and every morning I still am. Maybe today's the day. I dragged my ass in the morning, not moving too quick. The spot we picked was nice and chilly to let us sleep a little longer, nobody bothered us under the bridge this time. Last night we had a real treat in the form of a golden sunset over the mountains, hues of orange and pink lighting up the evening sky. It was very lovely. I forgot to mention we met another person doing a long distance ride, we've seen this person a few times since leaving Tokyo. Japanese travelers love pinning a piece of paper on their back that says where they're off to if they're traveling some ridiculous distance, for this person it was Tokyo to aomori. A respectable distance, but he nearly fell over when we showed him how far we've gone.
Eventually we got moving and did some sightseeing. The castle in aizuwakamatsu was rebuilt in the 60's as a museum, so we read about the history of the area. In a nutshell, it used to be called Aizu up until the local clan sided with the shogunate during the Meiji restoration and caught the wrong end of a brutal smackdown. In a way it felt framed in such a way that they didn't deserve it, and the subsequent suppression of the local people has left a simmering resentment. The city was renamed Wakamatsu, but is now aizuwakamatsu, and many t-shirts for souvenirs just say Aizu. The history of the city prominently includes the story of the Byakkotai, the "white tiger unit". They are hailed as heroes, but were teenagers who rushed into battle unprepared and were either slaughtered or committed suicide after hiding in a cave. Only one survived after a failed suicide to tell the tale. I guess things were different in the past, but poorly trained child soldiers killing themselves out of clan loyalty just strikes me as a tragedy, not a heroic epic. You know who disagrees? Fascist Italy and the Nazis, both of which donated monuments to the shrine for the Byakkotai and both of which remain to this day.
Alongside this bizarre tableau was the hexagonal shrine with a wooden spiral staircase, the only Edo period wooden structure still around and one of the oldest in the world. Honestly I'm surprised they let people walk through it, it felt so old. But they managed to build a double helix tower many hundreds of years ago and I was duly impressed. The ancient rafters and walls were covered in paper pasted to the walls to indicate a particular pilgrim was there. None of the old timey stickers looked new, as I imagine if people still did it the shrine would be covered like feathers on a bird. People did feel the need to scrawl their names in the wood of the wall directly, though. The whole place looked like it is in need of refurbishment and maybe someone to scold people with pocket knives.
After the shrine, we stopped to get some sandwiches at a conbini and then a drug store to get me better meds. The bufferin just wasn't working and I needed something to help me clear the congestion in me. We found some better meds and in took those. The feelings of having taken meds that really didn't work well and the stress of the heat of the day got to me and I had to stop and have a big cry. I hope I get better soon. We'll be stopping for a few days soon, I'll plan to just rest in bed. Doing a whole week of craziness followed by a week of biking in hot weather while a cold racks me has brought me to a low.
Naturally, when I get real low, that's when I feel the need to do big emotional processing. I knew it would happen eventually, though I'm impressed I could avoid it for three quarters of the trip. I wanted time and space to do some thinking, some crying, and some healing. The topic is private, of course. There was a bike path that led from aizuwakamatsu to kitakata to the north and we followed that, the depths of my thoughts so severe that I barely even acknowledged I was moving at all. Bryce told me later we were going pretty fast, so I guess it's good we were somewhere I could be on autopilot. The views in the valley were lovely, the panoramic mountains ringing the bowl shaped valley we were in. We biked towards snow capped mountains, but I was fully turned inwards, my process taking all of my focus.
Before too long we were in kitakata, a city that reminded Bryce of Roblin in Manitoba. It was a pretty quiet place, and rural too. It was known as one of the big three ramen regions in Japan, the second of which we've seen. We found the place that is most well known in Japan for kitakata ramen and got in line there. It was busy, as to be expected, but we got in relatively fast. We got the usual, whatever was the house special with extra chashu for protein. While the noodles were excellent, we both found the broth a bit boring, a pork on pork experience. It didn't taste particularly deep or complex, and was almost simple to a fault. Perhaps we've reached the limits of our tastes here, but it was just okay to our palate.
We got back on the bike route north, hoping it would continue a bit further before we had to get on the mountain highway. We would have to eventually, as no other roads led through the mountain pass. The bike route wasn't listed on the map, but was in front of us, so we pressed on. Much like the previous section it was a raised lane with gentle curves, likely an old rail line. This path eventually spit us out near an onsen, and then we were on our own. The road we wanted to take onto the highway was unexpectedly closed, so we had to detour up a road that went on top of a dam nearby. We enjoyed seeing some more wisteria, the ones around here growing wild and festively adorning trees in pale purple blossoms.
The dam was big, and had a road on top to ride on. I wanted to see the penstock and the spillway, the latter far below the road we biked on. Below in the shadow of the dam was a defiant onsen, oddly juxtaposed against the huge forward wall of the dam. We took some time to figure out what road would take us up to the highway which was some 100m above the dam. One road went into a tunnel and seemed a sure bet from the road signs near it, the other wound around the dam reservoir and disappeared into the woods. Looking at our maps, one said the road would continue and join up later, the other two disagreed saying the road ended. I voted for the sure bet, Bryce agreed but bet me a rice ball the road went through.
The tunnel indeed brought us up to the road, which was less of a road and more a series of bridges interspersed with tunnels piercing the mountaintops. It felt like we were on a great arc that hit the tips of every mountain, the gentle gradient of the road more important than anything else. We appreciated the easier climb, but the tunnels were tricky. Many of them had construction ongoing, so we were escorted through one set of tunnels to avoid stopping traffic in the single lane that switched directions periodically. At each tunnel entrance we worried the construction worker would bar our way but most were friendly, apologizing but firmly telling us where to go. As we approached a very long tunnel, an excitable construction worker stopped us and told us many things, but the best parts we could gleam were that the tunnel ahead was very long and we needed to have lights on inside.
The tunnel was indeed long, the longest we've been permitted in this far at 4km. The tunnel was completely straight too, giving a bizarre feeling of being in an infinite tube, perspective lines perfectly converging. The perspective made it feel like we were going uphill, but my speed told me it was downhill. Very confusing. Eventually we made it out and begun a very long and coasting descent, the grade again just gentle enough that we could coast at full speed and not tap the brakes. Usually we bike up the mountain just to waste the energy on brakes on the way down, here we could coast a lovely 10km, perhaps getting a little chilly from the lack of pedaling.
Yonezawa was our destination for the day, and despite really wanting to take it easy we still somehow did 100km. Tired and dirty, we took our biking clothes to a laundromat and went for dinner at a Chinese place. We had a black bean pork dish that was sticky and good, a chili fried chicken dish that was delicious but full of bones, and a fried rice that was mediocre at best. Waiting for our laundry to come out of the dryer, we had some snacks and commented that this city was extremely quiet at night. Not much activity going on here.
Bryce had a park in mind for camping, so we went there. We landed up making our way to the back of the park and found a spot to camp behind a few trees in a weedy area. Nobody should care we're here, but we're near a train line and every so often a passenger train roars by with big booming noises. Hopefully it doesn't run too early, but we might get woken up.
With the new meds, this evening is feeling better than days previous, though I have a lot on my mind for processing right now. A good sleep will help with that.
submitted by pohltergiest to RainbowRamenRide [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:54 CookieCat3 How can I understand better my introverted bf?

Hey everyone,
I could really use some insight and advice on this.
I started dating very recently (few weeks ago) this amazing person. It was basically love at first sight and we spent so much time together, and we still do. My boyfriend is a wonderful person - he's caring, intelligent, and has a great sense of humor. However, he's also undeniably introverted, and sometimes that can make things a bit challenging for me to understand. From the outside, he might come off as cold or distant, especially when we are together and start doing his own things (we usually stay in his apartment because I'm moving out from mine), like playing games, or reading or other 'alone' things he does.
I know he's been living alone and being alone for quite a while before meeting me, he had just very few dates after the end of his only relationship. He also told me he's a bit en guarde with me because he's afraid I'll withdraw out of the blue/show my "true side" and end the relationship.
As someone who's more on the extroverted side but very insecure still, I find myself struggling to fully comprehend his need for solitude and quiet time. It's not that I don't respect his boundaries or understand the importance of recharge time; it's just sometimes difficult for me to understand why he's acting colder or why he does alone activities even we are together.
However, I know deep down that he cares about me a lot. He shows it in his own way - through small gestures, acts of service, and deep conversations when we're alone together. But I can't help but wonder if there's more I could be doing to support him and make him feel understood and appreciated.
So, fellow Redditors, I'm turning to you for advice. How can I better understand and support my introverted boyfriend? What are some ways I can bridge the gap between our different personality types and ensure that he feels loved and valued in our relationship? Any insights or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance for your help!
submitted by CookieCat3 to self [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:52 kokokoszka I don’t think my boyfriend wants to marry me and i agreed to a stupid condition years ago that i’m struggling to fulfill so i guess i brought it on myself

I met him when i was 27, he is 3 years older. I’m now 32, and our 5th anniversary is at the end of this month, and i’m sure he’s still not gonna propose
I said from day 1 i want to get married, and a few months in i knew i wanted to do it with him, and he said the same, his timeline being 2-4 years, i said make it 2. I made it known how important it is to me, asking and talking about it every so often. After our 4th anniversary i stopped bringing engagement up because i don’t think there is a point anymore. He still says things like ‘at our wedding we will..’, ‘when we get married..’, refers to me as ‘wife’ occasionally BUT I KNOW i just know this is never gonna happen
And i gave him a perfect excuse. I am a woman who has gained weight. My self esteem is gone, my boyfriend noticed. One evening, 2-ish years ago we got a bit tipsy and i agreed to a condition he set - he will propose when i lose weight. He must have known i struggled to lose it, but in that state of mind i figured i should do it anyway (also because i currently can’t even fit into my wedding dress) and so i agreed. I did lose half of the weight i have gained since then but deep down i think, even if i do it all, there will be another excuse to delay engagement:( before the weight, there was finances, which i fixed, so i’m capable of changing but weightloss is SO HARD
Even though i was an idiot to agree to the condition, i kinda feel he should want to marry me by now anyway. After 5 years, the moment feels like it kinda passed. Even if by some miracle he proposed, i would say yes, but i think the excitement just won’t be the same as it would have been 1 or 2 years ago, because now i’m a bit bitter about not being good enough for someone i love to be passionate to marry me asap and all that
I don’t want just a marriage, i want to get married to the one i love, which is my boyfriend, but it seems like he doesn’t feel the same way about me, so i kind of let go of the dream of that kind of commitment. But when i get attention from other people i do sometimes think, what if i tried with someone else? But that would be stupid because now i’m, compared to 5 years ago, old and unattractive, so i’m sure i would just land myself in the same situation and just more unhappy because they won’t be as lovely as my boyfriend is
I just don’t know what to do. I gave up on the dream of getting married i think, but i still feel sad i never got to experience someone loving me so much they would want to commit to me like that. Maybe someone here would have some advice how to get over it? And thank you for reading, it helped a little just to spill those thoughts out on here!
submitted by kokokoszka to Waiting_To_Wed [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:52 BlueFishcake Sexy Steampunk Babes: Chapter Twenty Six

Yelena watched the doorway through which the young Ashfield scion had just left for a few moments more as she pondered over the meeting they’d just had.
*Precocious indeed,* she thought with a smile.
A smile that only grew as her gaze flitted over to her childhood friend’s
 complicated expression.
It seemed young William’s decision had come as much a surprise to his instructor as it had come to Yelena herself.
“He said no,” Joana said after a few moments.
Yelena nodded slowly as she reclined into her friend’s surprisingly comfortable chair. Given what she knew of Griffith, the Queen had half expected the thing to be harder than mithril when she first sat down - but it was surprisingly plush.
“Not without good reason,” Yelena said as she shifted about.
“Good reason?” Joana scoffed. “You offered him your daughter’s hand.” Her eyes narrowed slightly. “You offered *all* of your daughter’s hands.”
Yelena rolled her eyes at her friend’s tone. “And if he’d accepted I would have considered it a bargain.”
A minor scandal and the loss of a number of future marriage alliances was ultimately nothing compared to the ability to raid Kraken nests. And that was ignoring that a hypothetical means to slay kraken in deep water would undoubtedly have other applications.
Applications that would be incredibly useful in the months to come.
Though, perhaps, if young William’s plans came to fruition that coming storm could be delayed by a few years.
“
Are things truly that desperate?” Joana asked quietly.
“They’re not great,” Yelena admitted, massaging the bridge of her nose. “The Blackstones
 I knew they’d resist the reforms, but to threaten open rebellion?”
She’d not expected that. Not even in her wildest dreams. Lindholm’s only human ducal house had ever been wilful, and their antipathy towards the Orcs who dwelled in the Sunlands was well documented, but surely even they could see why Yelena was doing what she was.
Regardless of what her critics said, her decision to end the slave trade in Lindholm was most assuredly not the result of ‘useless sentiment’.
Far from it.
Oh certainly, Yelena had no love for the institution of slavery, for reasons both moral and financial, but that wasn’t why she’d created the abolitionist movement.
With each passing year, the Homeland’s view of Lindholm grew ever more covetous. More and more the Sun Empress and Desert Khan’s rhetoric centred less on their ongoing deadlock with each other and more on the idea of ‘recovering wayward territories’.
Certainly, that could have been a reference to Old Growth as much as Lindholm, but Yelena doubted it.
Lindholm might have scared the Solites and Lunites into retreating by choosing to engage them over deep water, but ultimately those victories were borne of a lack of conviction on the part of her foes.
Had the two disparate fleets been willing to risk the permanent loss of a small portion of their mithril cores in order to achieve victory and push towards the mainland, they may well have been able to flip the allegiances of a number of Lindholmian houses.
Oh, certainly, the high elves and dark elves of Lindholm might have prided themselves on maintaining the strictures of equality that defined the Old Empire – but with either Solite or Lunite airships hovering over their family castles, she couldn’t help but wonder if some might reconsider their stances on their fellow elves.
No, while an invasion of Lindholm would certainly be costly, it was entirely within the realm of reason.
An invasion of the Old Growth however?
There was a reason the Wood Elves – as they named themselves – had managed to remain independent of both the other two, much larger, nations despite sharing land borders with both of them.
Their strange magics might have been muted and weak beyond the borders of their home, but within their territory they were nigh invincible.
No, if there was to be any ‘reclamation’ of any territory belonging to the old Aelven Imperium, it was likely to come from Lindholm.
To that end, the kingdom could ill afford to keep feeding people and iron into the meatgrinder that was the Sunlands. Could ill afford to keep orcs that might otherwise be valuable mages laboring in the fields under the eyes of watchful taskmasters.
Lindholm needed every mage-knight it could get – regardless of the color of their skin or the shape of their ears.
Yet after year and years of negotiations and attempts to shift public opinion on the matter, the North still remained willfully ignorant of that truth.
“Surely they know that even if they win, any kind of division between us will just see the Homeland sweep over them?” Joana said.
Yelena shrugged. “I have a feeling that Duchess Blackstone’s victories over both the Lunites and Solites has left her confident of repeating the fact should it come to that.”
Foolhardy, in her eyes, but no one had ever accused the Blackstones of being meek. Nor being incapable of backing up their sometimes insane claims. What other House could lay claim to an ancestry that had once beaten back the Old Imperium at the height of its power?
Where other human nobles had been sworn into the Old Imperium on their knees with their battered armies scattered to the winds, the Blackstones managed to resist long and hard enough that the Imperial Legions had been forced to come to the negotiating table.
Ultimately, the Blackstones had still been absorbed into the Empire, but they’d done so on their terms with their heads unbowed.

Though it was somewhat ironic that nearly a thousand years on, it was now those same humans in the position of the old Imperial Legion while it was the free orcs who now utilized the same strategies as the old Blackstone tribes – right down to the Wyvern riders.
“I could imagine that,” Joana muttered.
“Is it strange that I think she might pull it off?” Yelena said – though only because she was sure that no one beyond her friend and silent guards was listening.
“Part of me wants to argue that, but
 do you think it’s a human thing?”
Yelena thought about the Blackstones and the young man who’d just turned down a chance to be king one day.
“Perhaps,” she admitted.
Personally she thought it was because humans didn’t live as long – and there was more of them. When your life could be measured in but a single century, perhaps you were a bit more inclined towards taking risks that might make an elf balk?

Risks like trying to take your first year team up against a third year team in the name of trying to avoid a war.
Or at least delay it.
“I still can’t believe he said no to your offer,” Joana said, something
 complicated in her friend’s expression.
Yelena grinned at the sight, though she wrestled down the urge to ask a number of probing questions of her normally straight laced friend, who seemed to have a childish crush on a young man nearly ten years her junior – and her student beside.
Normally she’d be all over a scandal that delicious.
Alas, right now was work time. “I can. He gave me his reasons and they were solid.”
Well, solid enough. If you squinted a bit. And tried to think ‘human’.
Rather than all-but guarantee a war by having the Crown break off his betrothal, he intended to do it himself.
Loudly and publicly.
And if he won – and that was a big *if* – he’d all but destroy any kind of excuse the Blackstones might have to declare war in response. Indeed, by being ‘shamed’ in such a public manner they’d need to spend a few years at least regathering lost support.
After all, who would want to follow a house into a civil war just after their heir was publicly humiliated by a team of cadets two years her junior?
Academy fights weren’t just schoolyard squabbles. They were civil conflicts writ small. A microcosm of the constant jostling and jockeying of Lindholm’s houses.
In other words, they held weight.
If Willaim could beat his fiancĂ©e, Yelena knew she’d owe him more than she could ever truly repay. A few more years of preparation would turn an almost guaranteed defeat into something *much* more even.
Especially if she could scoop up who knows how many mithril cores that were otherwise just littering the ocean. Ninety percent of them would be of limited use immediately, but a few years would give her time to construct at least a few more airship hulls to house the devices.
All that was required was for William to win.
“Solid,” Joana scoffed. “His plan is to go up against a group of third years with a team of firsties.”
Yelena tried to keep the intensity she was feeling out of her tone as she leaned forward. “You don’t think he can do it?”
Joana opened her mouth before hesitating. “I
 normally I’d say no. Talented as they are, the gap in experience is just too wide.”
“But
”
The dark elf rolled her silver eyes behind her glasses. “But, with William’s newest invention
” The woman paused. “Son of a bitch.”
For just a moment Yelena was treated to the rare sight of her friend laughing. “I can’t believe I thought he ‘just wanted to use it in a schoolyard fight’,” the Instructor said.
“Well, he sort of is, in a way.” Yelena shrugged. “It just so happens to be a very important schoolyard fight.”
Joana laughed. “I suppose it is.”
“Still, do you think he can win?”
Joana straightened up. “I genuinely don’t know. With his new invention he might be able to catch her off guard. If he can skew the numbers in his favor at the start, they might have a chance.”
Yelena frowned. Not exactly the ringing endorsement she wanted to hear, but that was part of why she valued Joana’s friendship.
Always had really, even when the girl had first come to court at the age of ten as a potential playmate for Yelena’s daughters and told her that her dress made her look like some kind of tropical bird.
Something Yelena realized upon closer inspection was true.
Ever since, the Queen had made a point of checking in with the girl from time to time, if only for the occasional shot of unvarnished truth.
It was a strange ‘friendship’ from the outside looking in, but one that got less so as time went by and the age gap became less stark.
“Well, let’s hope the human capacity for the nigh impossible isn’t relegated entirely to the Blackstones,” Yelena muttered.
Because if it wasn’t, the boy would either have to marry one of Yelena’s daughters or die.
She *could* *not* afford the knowledge in his head to reach the Blackstones. To that end, he’d either accept her offer – rolling the dice on the onset of war and all that might come with it – or he’d suffer an accident.
As much as it pained the royal sovereign’s heart to see such a bright and enterprising soul be snuffed out before its time.
Being forced to make such decisions was simply the price of wearing the crown.
“Still,” Joana said, and Yelena was grateful for the distraction as she looked up. “Will you actually leave him alone if he pulls this off?”
Yelena scoffed.
“Of course not. If anything I’ll up my offer.” She shrugged. “I’ll give him you, myself and half my court if it means getting my hands on what’s in his head.”
It was actually a little amusing how Joana flushed at her words, even as she shook her head.
“Yes, that sounds a lot more like you.”
Yelena nodded. Damn right it did.
Though as she did, a thought occurred to her. “Hey Joana?”
“Yes?”
“In your reports to me, didn’t you mention the Ashfield boy having some kind of nickname.”
The dark elf pondered the words for a moment before stiffening. “Hmm, he does actually. A rather apt one considering. Apt enough that I’m wondering if whatever he used to kill Al’Hundra is related.”
“Well, don’t keep me in suspense. What is it?”
Joana leaned back, her head craned upwards, as if seeking strength from above.
“Kraken Slayer.”
Yelena laughed. She couldn’t help it.
“Of course it is.”


“You killed Al’Hundra.”
William was still reeling a little from the conversation he’d just had, so he was actually a little caught off guard by a finger being shoved into his face the moment he stepped back into his teams quarters.
*Ah,* he thought. *I promised answers.*
Though it seemed that in his absence his team had managed to figure out some of those answers without him.
Glancing past Olzenya’s outstretched arm, he saw Marline shaking her head – as if to vehemently deny she’d told them anything.
She needn’t have bothered, her geass precluded it as an option. Hell, even once everyone found out it would preclude it as an option.
Which was for the best for the moment because now he wasn’t so much trying to hide what he’d done as *how* he’d done it. Admittedly, Marline didn’t know anything beyond the broadest details, but she knew enough to know that it was some kind of enchantment combined with alchemy.
Now it was possible the forces working against him – or rather simply to profit off him – had already figured that out and he’d hear the alchemy lab exploded any moment now, but he’d sooner put it off for as long as he could.
To that end, he turned to Olzenya – though not before politely lowering her pointing arm.
Something that, to her credit, the high elf allowed – actually looking a little embarrassed by her outburst and thus rudeness.
“Honestly, I was expecting something like that to come from Bonnlyn, not you,” he said to the slightly flushed high elf.
As he glanced over toward where the dwarf was sitting, she shrugged. “I realize I may not be the most classically polite individual around, but I’ve been a merchant long enough to recognize when someone’s got a trade secret they want to keep close to their chests.”
If anything, Olzenya flushed harder, as while she might not have been familiar with trade secrets, she was most definitely familiar with the notion of house spells that needed to be kept secret.
“I also thought ambushing him at the door was a little rude,” Verity murmured from the back of the room.
Olzenya coughed, before backing up. “Of course, I apologize for that William.”
More bemused than anything else, especially as the elf curtsied, he waved a hand dismissively. “It’s fine. Or, understandable, I guess.”
“Good,” Ozlenya smiled, glad for his acceptance
 before she shouted again. “Because you lied to us.”
“I did?”
“He didn’t,” Marline said. “He said he had something to bet against Tala.”
Indeed he had, something he’d kept hidden under a sheet. After all, he’d not wanted his big surprise to be spoiled by the rumors of his coming beating him to the cafeteria.
And they would.
Rumors in the academy somehow managed to move at light speed.
“He implied it was gold,” Olzenya shot back.
“And you said Tala wouldn’t go for it, but you came with us anyway,” Bonnlyn said.
Indeed, he had implied it was gold. Or ‘something valuable enough to catch her interest’.
“To comfort him after she shot him down,” Olzenya said. “Instead I damn near tripped over my own feet in front of everyone when he pulled an honest to goddess mithril core out of his ass.”
William was actually a little thrown off – and amused – by the sudden display of crassness from the noble girl.
“But he didn’t lie.” It was actually a little surprising – and heartwarming – to hear Verity speaking so forcefully.
And that Olzenya didn’t immediately snap at her for doing so. The team really had come a long way in just a few months.
*Ah, the joys of shared suffering,* William thought as he watched the girls bicker amongst themselves.
“As I’m sure you’ve all guessed, I have indeed been less than open about a few things,” he said, silencing all of them – except Marline who’d yet to speak in the first place. “With that said, I’ve never once lied to you about my end goal.”
“Breaking off your betrothal,” Marline said finally.
“Breaking off my betrothal *without* starting a war,” he said. “If it were that easy, the Queen would have done it for me just now.”
“You met the Queen?” Olzenya sounded a little faint.
“I did.”
Oh, how he did.
“Oh ancestors, please don’t tell me you hit on the queen!?” This time Marline sounded a little faint.
And he actually felt a little offended. “What!? Why would you think that.”
“You’re doing the same thing you do when we talk about Instructor Griffith,” Bonnlyn said with studiously neutral voice. “Or Instructor Morline. Or Instructor Flen. Or some of the guards.”
“Or that one cafeteria lady,” Verity chimed in, a little red in the face.
“Or the-”
“I do not!” He’d finally had enough of these aspersion on his character.
Across the room, a number of sighs rang out, even from the elves.
“At least now I knew why he never checked me out,” Bonnlyn said. “He’s got mommy issues. And I’m not old enough to tickle them.”
“Still, the Queen?” Olzenya hissed.
“I mean, have you seen her?” Marline muttered back. “I mean, I don’t agree with him
 but I get it.”
“I didn’t ‘perv’ on the Queen.” Some part of him died on using such childish language. “We had a meeting about my plans and
 what occurred with Al’Hundra. Needless to say, the fact that I’m here means she’s agreed to go ahead with them and I’m also to keep quiet about anything I may or may not have had to do with any Kraken going missing. Or their cores.”
He deliberately left out the royal marriage offer.
Still, with those words the room went silent. After all, if the Queen had told him to say nothing, he was expected to say nothing. Just because the North in general didn’t have much respect for royal authority didn’t mean the rest of the kingdom did.
Quite the opposite.
“Well, if the Queen has commanded you to *remain* silent, I suppose there’s nothing to be done,” Olzenya muttered. “Though I would like answers some day.”
“Hell, I’d like to know why you brought Marline in on your plans,” Bonnlyn said, glancing at the Dark Elf. “You know, and not the rest of us.”
There was no missing the hint of hurt there – which he understood.
“I can promise you it was purely a matter of convenient circumstance,” he said. “And I can promise you, I didn’t confide in Marline for free.”
All the girls glanced up as the dark elf nodded slowly. “He’s not lying – though I can’t say anymore. Literally. It’s a price I paid willingly, but one I doubt any of you would be interested in.”
Almost as one, he could see the lightbulbs turn on in everyone’s brain simultaneously – except for Verity, who took a few seconds.
*‘Geass,’* thought none of them said it.
This time though, when the girls looked between him and Marline, there was a definite sense of wariness to it.
“Well, I suppose there’s nothing else to say then,” Bonnyln said. “I guess we should
”
“
Go to bed,” Olzenya nodded warily.
William grinned. “Good idea. Big day tomorrow and all that.”
That was an understatement, and he could tell everyone was thinking it as they made their way over to their rooms.
Still, it was true all the same.
They’d need their rest if they wanted to stand a chance tomorrow.
Indeed, they’d need every advantage they could get.
To that end, William could only hope he’d stacked the deck in their favor enough to matter.

It took him a long time to get to sleep.
When he did awake, in the early hours of the morning, it was to the sound of an explosion.
*In the direction of the old alchemy labs if I’m not wrong,* he thought with a grim smile.
It seemed someone had decided to investigate his storage room even sooner than he’d anticipated.
Annoying, but it hardly mattered at this point in time.
All that really mattered was going back to sleep.
He had a big day ahead of him, after all.
[Previous](https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/1clev2n/sexy\_steampunk\_babes\_chapter\_twenty\_five/) / [First](https://www.reddit.com/HFY/comments/187xaj0/sexy\_steampunk\_babes\_chapter\_one/) / Next
**Another three chapters are also available on Patreon:** [**https://www.patreon.com/bluefishcake\*\*\](https://www.patreon.com/bluefishcake)
**We also have a (surprisingly) active Discord where and I and a few other authors like to hang out:** [https://discord.gg/RctHFucHaq\](https://discord.gg/RctHFucHaq)
submitted by BlueFishcake to HFY [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:51 Repulsive_Ad1275 First blush changes to Vecna, map thoughts

So, after playing a little, I’m just here to share my thoughts on him. I think he’s So close to being awesome, and needs some Gentle buffs to make him fun to play.
Sphere Thing: Why does this slow you down? Casting this spell should not slow you down at all. You should take 0 penalty except for putting it into cooldown.
Fly: I think this is in an okay spot. He has a lot going on, and this is just a little mobility, and Sometimes useable in chase. Maybe the slowdown afterwards could be shortened a little, but I think it’s okay that this is mostly for getting around a little—especially if his chase oriented spells are buffed.
Mage Hand: This spell has potential to be annoying as fuck. I don’t want this to be a Chucky Scamper situation where if Vecna has this spell up, dropping a pallet means he can just lift it and get a hit. But right now, this spell feels bad. It’s currently really only useful on pallets you could otherwise outplay, which is honestly okay. Each spell has a niche, and Mage Hand is for small loops. Blocking pallets should last just a little longer. Maybe not a full second, maybe just half a second or so. I also think reducing the slowdown penalty for this spell would be fine.
Skeleboys: Now, this spell is for longer loops, jungle gyms, and structures. This spell, I think needs to keep the slowdown penalty as is. It has potential to quickly become an annoying Artist/Knight thing where you can just push survivors into the spell if dodging becomes impossible outside of running Into the killer. I think if a survivor dodges your spell, it should be hard to translate that into an M1 unless they fuck up, so right now I reckon the slowdown is okay. But being about to just crouch walk a little as survivor makes this spell kind of ass.
I’ve seen a suggestion to make the Skeletons come out in kind of a V shape, where the middle one is impossible to duck, but the outer ones you can. I like that, but I also wonder if perhaps you should be able to angle this the same way you can the sphere? I think the spread between dudes leaves enough room for the survivor to dodge still, but is narrow enough that you won’t be to just keep moving as you can currently. It’s a little more give and take that way.
This would also give him something to do with maps that have multiple floors, which I don’t think anyone will be too mad about. If they do something like this, then I think these guys should be able to hit cross maps. Currently, they are limited in range. Angling it down will reduce the range close up, but make dodging harder. This would also introduce a skill ceiling of being able to aim, account for the spread of the spell, and even gently angle the spell so it reaches far, but slowly lowers so by the time it reaches the target, crouch dodging is not possible. This also makes it so the item that shows you the Flight of the Damned as survivor isn’t pointless, since you have enough time after the sound cue to just crouch until you’re safe.
As for the map, I’m kinda iffy gameplay wise. Visually it rules, of course. But it seems kind of
Weird. Getting into the actual dungeon seems like a choke point that the killer can defend very easily. There’s the portal in the back, but I think that Always spits you out at the bottom of the main stairs inside, so the killer could just control that room and potentially a lot of gens. The one way portals scattered around should maybe be two way portals with a cooldown for whoever just used it so you can’t just go back and forth which I think might be abusable.
My friend also proposed that basement maybe should attach to the dungeon, which would be cool and unique. That way, getting inside can, again, happen from more than one place.
I just think that needs to be changed because it seems like the devs sort of anticipated this issue, and only put one hook in the entire dungeon because otherwise you can guard people very well. Again, not sure if that’s an issue for the killer, but having one hook in that whole area seems bad. This may also be a hook logic thing, and hooks above are eating up potential spawns, which is a thing that needs to be looked at anyway for other maps. Sometimes basement makes hooking in areas Impossible unless you go all the way to basement, which I don’t wanna do sometimes!
It’s hard to say anything else because it’s a bit of a maze inside, and being able to navigate without thinking is important for good looping, and this map will take some time to learn.
But yeah, that’s where I’m at with it. Long post, sorry, but hope to hear your thoughts and ideas, especially on the Mage Hand and Skeleton spells as those are the most delicate to balance I feel.
submitted by Repulsive_Ad1275 to deadbydaylight [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:51 NikolaiOlsen If Ryan George made a Pitch Meeting based on Fortnite

Producer: So, you have a video game for me?
Writer: Yes, sir, I do! It's a battle royale game called Fortnite.
Producer: Fork Knife? Is it a food-making game where you eat with a Fork and a Knife?
Writer: Well, No actually, sir, this is a shooter game where players are dropped onto an island where they must scavenge for weapons and resources inside people's homes while trying to be the last person standing.
Producer: Sounds a lot like that game PUBG.
Writer: Well, yes, it's Very similar to that.
Producer: So, Isn't that kind of a rip-off? Whats the point of making this game if its gonna be a Complete rip-off?
Writer: What if we give the player the ability to build stuff in the game?
Producer: Thats different enough. So how do we do the building in this Fork-knife game of yours?
Writer: Well, we add a building mechanic where players can gather materials and construct forts and other structures to defend themselves.
Producer: So, they can build in the middle of a fight?
Writer: They sure can!
Producer: Won't that make the combat complicated and kind of confusing?
Writer: Oh, definitely. Super confusing. And we're going to have this cartoony art style, so it's all bright and colorful.
Producer: Cartoony art style?
Writer: Yes, sir, we want to attract a younger audience, you know, kids and teenagers.
Producer: Really? And what about older players?
Writer: They'll probably play it too. Some might even play it so much while filming themselves sitting, eating, and drinking inside a room infront of a bunch of cameras to a bunch of digital people on some kind of streaming-platform out there. And some older players might even be so good that they can be placed inside a room with other players that are as good as them.
Producer: Okay, okay, But wait. Why would older players be interested in a game designed for kids?
Writer: Because it's free.
Producer: Oh, older people love free things.
Writer: And we’ll have these things called Emotes where players can dance and do fun gestures for no reason.
Producer: Why would they need that?
Writer: To taunt other players and express themselves, and making it easier for other players to get kills!
Producer: And we're sure kids will love this?
Writer: Oh, absolutely. They'll be flossing in no time.
Producer: What’s flossing?
Writer: It’s one of the dances that we’ll include in the game.
Producer: Ah, okay, and how will we make money?
Writer: Super easy, barely an inconvenience.
Producer: How come?
Writer: Microtransactions.
Producer: Microtransactions?
Writer*: Yeah, Microtransactions. Players can buy this thing called V-Bucks, which is our in-game currency, to get skins, emotes, and other cosmetic items.
Producer: So, none of these items give players a competitive advantage?
Writer: Nope, just cosmetics.
Producer: And people will spend real money on that?
Writer: Oh, they definitely will.
Producer: How are you so sure?
Writer: Because we’ll make it really cool and hard to resist. Plus, we'll create this thing called FOMO.
Producer: FOMO?
Writer: Fear of Missing Out. We’ll have limited-time items so players feel pressured to buy them before they're gone.
Producer: So, we’re going to exploit psychological weaknesses?
Writer: Oh, for sure.
Producer: Exploiting psychological weaknesses is tight! So, how will players get to the Island?
Writer: They’ll skydive from a flying bus.
Producer: A flying bus?
Writer: Yeah, we’ll call it the Battle Bus.
Producer: Why would a bus be flying?
Writer: Because it's fun.
Producer: But How does it fly tho?
Writer: Listen, sir, i'm gonna need you to get all the way off my back about why the Battle Bus can fly using a very big sketchy pop-able baloon but only moves one direction, okay.
Producer: Okay, let me get off of that thing.
Writer: Oh, and every few minutes, a storm will shrink the play area, forcing players into a smaller and smaller circle until one player remains.
Producer: Why would a storm do that?
Writer: To make the game faster and more intense.
Producer: But thats not--- never mind.
Writer: And we’ll have different game modes, including solo, duo, and squads, so players can team up with friends.
Producer: What if players don’t have friends?
Writer: Then they’ll be loners. Solo mode is perfect for that.
Producer: And how will we keep the game fresh?
Writer: We'll have seasonal updates with new themes, items, and challenges.
Producer: Seasonal updates?
Writer: Plus, we’ll add crossover events with popular franchises from all our child hoods we can think off.
Producer: Like what?
Writer: Well, i'm just gonna throw some names out there, just top of my head, *Marvel, Star Wars, DC, Avatar, Family Guy, TMNT, POTC, Rick and Morty, and a Whole bunch of other stuff.
Producer: So, we’re going to have superheroes and nerds fighting each other in a game where you can build forts and dance?
Writer: Exactly.
Producer: That sounds amazing!
Writer: Oh, it’s going to be super amazing.
Producer: And that's Fortnite. So, what do you think?
Writer: I think we’ll make billions.
Producer: We're gonna be rich!
Producer: Wow, wow, wow. Wow.
Producer: But wait, you forgot to say what’s the story behind this game?
Writer: Oh, right, well, the island is constantly changing and evolving. At first, there isn't much backstory, only younger and older players ACTIVELY hunting each other down and killing each other, but over time, we introduce a series of events and lore that shape the game's world.
Producer: Interesting. What kind of events and lore are we talking about?
Writer: Well, Each season, we add new story elements to the game. For example, there's this mysterious organization called "The Imagined Order" that's manipulating the island. Players uncover clues and secrets about them as the game progresses.
Producer: So, there are hidden stories and mysteries?
Writer: Exactly. One season, we had a massive meteor strike that changed the landscape. Another season, a giant iceberg crashed into the island, bringing new areas to explore. We also introduced a volcanic eruption that altered the terrain significantly.
Producer: Sounds like a lot of natural disasters.
Writer: Ye ye ye. But all these events tie into the overarching narrative. There's this powerful artifact called the Zero Point at the center of the island, and it's the source of all these changes.
Producer: What’s the Zero Point?
Writer: It's a mysterious energy source that can manipulate time and space. Different factions and characters try to control it, leading to conflicts and alliances.
Producer: Who are these characters?
Writer: We've introduced various characters over time, like Jonesy, who starts as a standard avatar but becomes central to the story. He’s sort of the player’s guide and gets involved in all the major events.
Producer: And these characters, they have backstories?
Writer: Yes, each character has their own backstory and motives. Some are heroes trying to save the island, others are villains seeking power. We add new characters regularly to keep things fresh and engaging.
Producer: How do players learn about all this?
Writer: Through in-game events, cutscenes, and quests. For instance, we might have a live event where something dramatic happens, like a giant robot fighting a monster. These events often change the map and advance the storyline.
Producer: Live events? How do those work?
Writer: At specific times, we host live events where players can participate or just watch something big unfold. These events are usually massive, with millions of players logging in to witness them.
Producer: That sounds like a logistical nightmare.
Writer: It can be, but it creates a shared experience that players love. It's a huge part of what keeps the community engaged.
Producer: So, the story is dynamic and ever-changing?
Writer: Exactly. We keep evolving the narrative with each season, adding new mysteries and plot twists. It's like an ongoing TV show where the players are part of the story.
Producer: And this keeps players coming back?
Writer: Absolutely. The evolving story and frequent updates make sure there's always something new to discover and experience.
Producer: Sounds like you’ve thought of everything.
Writer: We’ve tried to make it as immersive and engaging as possible. The story is just one part of what makes Fortnite a unique and exciting game.
Producer: Well, I’m sold. Let’s make this game!
submitted by NikolaiOlsen to FORTnITE [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:50 TurtlesFromHell Thank you calls/text -receiving gifts for elopement

Hi reddit, my (26M) Fiance (25F) and I will be eloping in 2 days. We made the decision to elope for a couple reasons, we are private people and don't like being the center of attention, didn't want the stress of a wedding, cost, and avoiding potential family drama. Our immediate families have been supportive of us doing a private ceremony between the two of us. We are going to the local rose garden and having an officiant tie the knot for us and then taking some photos afterwards. The next morning we will be flying to Punta Cana for a 7 day honeymoon. We are extremely excited and cant wait to be married! Three weeks after we will be hosting my immediately family from out of town and her immediately family to have a backyard party/celebration. We have some other fun things planned with the families so they can meet and we can still celebrate with them.
Extended families (Aunts, Uncles, cousins, etc.) aren't invited, while we would have loved to celebrate with everyone, we kept going back to the origional reasons we chose to elope and that's why we kept it to immediate family.
We asked everyone special in our lives to write a letter that we can open on the day of our elopement, we thought it would be a cool experience. We didn't asked for any money or gifts and didn't expect them, but we know we will be receiving money from what some people have said. While we didn't ask for anything we certainly appreciate if people choose to send money/gifts.
One thing I have been thinking about quite a lot was the etiquette on calling people, everyone knows the date of our elopement since we are doing the letters, and some people will be sending money. I wanted to express gratitude for everyone showing support and any gifts, but we will also be celebrating just the two of us that afternoon/evening and flying out the next morning at 6am. Would it be acceptable to send a text like the one copied below and then call people when we get back from the honeymoon? We would customize it for each person, this is just a template/idea.
"Thank you so much for sending us the card and ___! That was extremely generous of you and we really appreciate it! we are happy to announce that we have officially tied the knot earlier this afternoon and we are currently preparing for our honeymoon in Punta Cana tomorrow morning. We will call you as soon as we get back to catch up!
Thank you again, that was too much, we really appreciate all of your love and support and look forward to catching up soon!"
What are your thoughts?
submitted by TurtlesFromHell to Eloping [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:49 NoPersimmons Top 50 person back having realized some more crazy stats and struggling to process them

Before I say anything else, thank you to everyone who celebrated with me :) I don’t talk about my writing much IRL and I appreciate having a community to share this with so much. You guys rock.
Okay that said I AM LOSING MY WHOLE MIND. I’ve been working under the assumption that my fic is doing, like, okay for something niche. I think it’s a weird, painfully self-indulgent story with plenty of off-putting tags and weird scenes/plot points and I kind of felt like most people were gliding right past it because of that.
Y’all. My fic is in the top 3% of all Naruto fics for kudos and the top 0.3% for hits. I have no idea what to do with this information.
Some things that I think make this insane in no particular order: it’s a gender bent fic; it’s got some controversial themes/tags; it goes against a TON of advice and common preferences expressed here; it’s kakanaru, not one of the bigger pairings; I can’t write action for shit; I started publishing only about a year ago; and finally—I cannot emphasize enough how crazy this part is to me—I HAVE NEVER FINISHED THE CANON. I finished the Pain arc while high as balls, had the thought “fuck this why isn’t Naruto a girl” and never looked back. (Wait, actually, you know what else is crazy? This is such a slow fucking burn that where I’m at (600k words in), the main characters still haven’t even had penetrative sex T.T and people are still reading this nonsense??)
I’m finishing up my career in STEM academia atm; I have stood in front of hundreds of people to prattle on about fucking frogs and am no stranger to imposter syndrome. But this is INTENSE imposter syndrome. I want to tap every single person who has left kudos on my fic on the shoulder and ask them wtf they were thinking. Clearly they must have slipped and hit the button by accident. If they knew I was just me they wouldn’t be reading. I only have any real talent when I’m hypomanic and as I learn to manage my illness, my episodes are getting less intense and further apart, and soon everyone will realize I’m a terrible writer. Probably the way hits work on AO3 is that it’s per chapter, so everyone who reads the whole thing is ~150 hits.
Even just writing it all out makes me feel so much better T.T It just feels like there’s been a huge mistake!
Below this is just answers to common questions I got on my last post, so if you’re still reading my rambling, don’t feel like you need to keep going. <3 thank you so much for listening to me.
Word count: current 600k, 50k in drafts, ~200k after that to go
Hits: ~100k (around #400 out of ~123k fics)
Kudos: ~1550 (around top 2,500)
submitted by NoPersimmons to NarutoFanfiction [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:47 PunnyHeals Misrepresentation of house price data by Realtor.ca

Misrepresentation of house price data by Realtor.ca
TL;DR:
  1. Realtor.ca claims the average sale price of a house in Fredericton, NB is $288,300. My own calculations point to the average being approximately $543,878.
  2. Realtor.ca most likely calculates it average house price using the average for houses and vacant land. My average for houses and land was $288,540, only a $240 difference, making this the most likely explanation.
  3. Realtor misrepresents graphs and averages through market capture, pay gating, and could be violating the Competition Act.
**Background**
I have been looking to buy a house for the past several years in the Fredericton area and have been checking the online listings regularly through Realtor.ca since it is the most common real estate listing website used in New Brunswick. What I liked about Realtor.ca was its ability to provide the average sell price for a house every month with graphs that showed the average sell price for a house in Fredericton for the past 12 months and 10 years. Looking for a house for an several years, I felt that I had a good idea of the market conditions and price ranges. My anecdotal evidence was that the average house price was much higher than Realtor.ca’s estimate of 288,300. I wondered if my anecdotal evidence could be supported by data.
The objective of this report is to collect list price data from all available listings within the Fredericton area. Once collected, I can take the average price and see if it matches the average price shown by Realtor.ca.
**Average/Median Methodology**
When you use Realtor.ca, you can filter results by the property type. There are six property type categories: Residential (single family home), condo/strata, vacant land, recreational, multi-family, and agriculture. For each of these property types, the asking price and address were copied into an Excel file. The data was collected on May 10, 2024, and included all listings within Fredericton; duplicate listings were removed.
Once all data was collected, the average and median for each property type was calculated (Table 1). I compared my calculated average to the Realtor.ca average to determine if my anecdotal evidence of thinking the average house price was higher than what Realtor.ca said was justified.
**Results**
There were 107 listings for residential houses (referred simply as “house” in this report), 245 listings for vacant land, 5 listings for recreational, 7 listings for multi-family, 2 listings for agriculture, and 10 listings for condos (Figure 1).
The average listing price was $543,878 for houses, $177,026 for land, $227,080 for recreation, $826,100 for multi-family, $829,450 for agriculture, and $317,410 for condos. The median listing price was $474,900 for houses, $64,900 for land, $229,900 for recreation, $799,000 for multi-family, $829,450 for agriculture, and $289,900 for condos (Table 1).
**Realtor.ca MLS System Average House Price Claim**
When you search for “houses for sale in Fredericton, NB”, you will see the top search results show Realtor.ca. This is not uncommon since Realtor.ca and its Multiple Listing Service (MLS) have the highest number of listings of any other online real estate listing service for the Fredericton, NB, area. Having most real estate listings concentrated on one system can provide users with a general idea of greater market conditions beyond individual listings, such as averages and trends for cities. Realtor.ca provides this data in the form of “Market Price (CAD)” price trends for the past 12 months, and price trends for the past 10 years (Figure 2). These figures are prominently displayed at the end of the first page of the Fredericton real estate listings (URL: https://www.realtor.ca/nb/fredericton/real-estate).
This leads us to the first claim by the Realtor.ca MLS system claim and our initial objective of this report.
Claim: The average market price in Fredericton sits at $288,300 as of May, 2024.
Analysis: When a user views these figures, it is a safe assumption that when a price is displayed, the user is inclined to believe that “Market Price (CAD)” is the average house price in Fredericton. This is further reinforced if the user reads the description above the figures which states:
“Use our home price trends to better gauge local market conditions and plan your next move. The graphs below show benchmark or average prices of homes sold in the area. Data generated by MLS¼ Systems and the MLS¼ Home Price Index (HPI) — Canada’s most advanced tool to gauge local home price levels and trends.”
This small paragraph specifically states, “The graphs below show benchmark or average prices of homes sold in the area.” Based off the graphs and their statement, we can safely interpret that Realtor.ca is explicitly saying that the average home price in Fredericton, NB, currently sits at $288,300; leaving no room for interpretation on how the data can be viewed. The reason I wanted to be explicitly clear on this thought process is that if you look back at the results section of this paper (Table 1) and see that the calculated average of all house listings was $543,878, it represents an 88.65% difference. A couple assumptions that could explain this difference are:
  1. The listings used in the analysis are only a snapshot in time and could not represent an accurate or precise representation of the monthly price average.
  2. Houses that were listed below the average could be selling more quickly, giving us a skewed data set that is not representative of all listings that have been posted.
  3. Realtor.ca gives the average sell price for houses in Fredericton and not the average listing price. There could be a large discrepancy between sell price and list price, resulting in my calculated average being inflated.
The three assumptions made above introduce bias into my conclusions, but given the magnitude of those differences, it could be reasonable to assume there might be an alternative reason causing these discrepancies.
Since there is such a large discrepancy in my calculated average and the average from Realtor.ca, I expanded my analysis to other categories. I combined my residential house data set with the other five property types to see if it would alter our initial average and how close it would come to the calculated Realtor.ca average (Table 2). Realtor.ca claims the average house price in Fredericton was $288,300, which seems to be closest to my calculated average for the combination of house and land listings. With the addition of these combinations, it suggests that Realtor.ca calculates average housing price using houses and land listings.
Realtor.ca MLS’s claim of the average house price in Fredericton, NB being $288,300 is a misrepresentation of the true market value and conditions. If a company were to calculate averages of an entire real estate market within an area, why would they only include house and land and not the other 4 categories?
**Misleading Representations by Realtor.ca**
The conclusions made from my analysis were made with plenty of explanations and assumptions. Given that the MLS system is a pay gated system, and their patented house price index algorithms are private, I feel it is reasonable to assume that my data is closer to true market prices. This leads us to the next question, if my data isn’t correct, why are the figures, calculations, and methodology misleading users on market conditions? The average user is not going to spend a significant amount of time manually collecting data and putting it into Excel to double check Realtor.ca. The company is the largest multiple listing system used in New Brunswick and holding that status comes with some form of implicit trust that the public holds for information it publishes. In this section, I will lay out sections and guidelines from the Competition Act and why I believe that Realtor.ca is violating the Act.
**Competition Act**
For the below, I will be using the most updated version of the Competition Act R.S.C., 1985, c. C-34, last amended on December 15, 2023 (https://laws.justice.gc.ca/eng/acts/C-34/page-1.html) and the “Application of the Competition Act to Representations on the Internet” published by Competition Bureau Canada (https://publications.gc.ca/collections/collection\_2010/ic/Iu54-1-2009-eng.pdf)
*Section 2.2, Paragraph 4 of the Application of the Competition Act to Representations on the Internet*
“Businesses should not assume that consumers read an entire Web site, just as they do not read every word on a printed page. Accordingly, information required to be communicated to consumers to ensure that a representation does not create a false or misleading impression should be presented in such a fashion as to make it noticeable and likely to be read.”
Explanation: Section 2.2 applies to the average house price and accompanying figures (Figure 2). Realtor.ca shows the average house price in text and graph form but does not disclose that these are house and land price average if my calculations are accurate.
*Section 4.1, Paragraph 1 of the Application of the Competition Act to Representations on the Internet*
“If qualifying information is necessary to prevent a representation from being false or misleading when read on its own, businesses should present that information clearly and conspicuously. Businesses frequently use disclaimers, often signalled by an asterisk, to qualify the general impression of their principal representation when promoting their products or services. As mentioned earlier, the general impression conveyed by the representation, as well as its literal meaning, are taken into account in determining whether a representation is false or misleading.”
Explanation: Section 4.1 applies to Realtor.ca house price indices and other methodologies. A disclaimer in this case would be located within the same small paragraph above the figures. Instead, they use their own house price index to obfuscate their methodologies (Figure 2). Another option they give is below the graphs as “Ask a realtor for more detailed information” which creates an additional barrier to the users right under the Competition Act. Specifically, the “to qualify the general impression of their principal representation when promoting their products or services.” The “ask a realtor” hyperlink brings you to an additional page where you can find their realtors in your area. This is incentivizing the user to use their services over others to access more information. Realtor.ca has a majority market share in New Brunswick which further reinforces their monopolistic practices over real estate that hurts consumers.
*Section 4.1.3, Paragraph 1 of the Application of the Competition Act to Representations on the Internet*
“Businesses may effectively draw attention to a disclaimer so that it is more likely to be read by using attention-grabbing tools to display the disclaimer. In doing so, businesses must be careful not to design attention-grabbing tools in other parts of the advertisement in such a way that they distract the consumer’s attention away from the disclaimer, making it unlikely that the consumer will notice the disclaimer or recognize its importance.”
Explanation: Section 4.1.3 is further evidence of obfuscation and misrepresentation of their graphical aids and calculations. Similar to section 2.2 in the Application of the Competition Act to Representations on the Internet, Realtor.ca placed those figures at the bottom of the first page of listings to draw the user’s attention to their interpretation of data.
*Section 52 (1) of the Competition Act: False or misleading representations*
“No person shall, for the purpose of promoting, directly or indirectly, the supply or use of a product or for the purpose of promoting, directly or indirectly, any business interest, by any means whatever, knowingly or recklessly make a representation to the public that is false or misleading in a material respect.”
Explanation: Section 52 (1) is the main argument for this report. I believe that Realtor.ca knowingly or recklessly misrepresented the average house price in Fredericton using deceptive graphical aids and created a home price index to further obfuscate the methodology.
I am not a lawyer, so I could be misinterpreting the sections of the Competition Act. I believe Realtor.ca has reached the threshold of violating the Competition Act since Section 52.1.1 states:
“For greater certainty, in establishing that subsection (1) was contravened, it is not necessary to prove that (a) any person was deceived or misled; (b) any member of the public to whom the representation was made was within Canada; or (c) the representation was made in a place to which the public had access.”
This amendment to the Competition Act removed the threshold of proving that an individual or the public were deceived or misled. I believe that Realtor.ca has violated all three elements of section 52.1.1 ensuring that they have met the threshold of violating section 52.1 of the Competition Act.
**Conclusion**
I have given numerous caveats to my analysis, so it is possible I have come to the wrong conclusions given the lack of transparency in methodology and limited time frame. One thing I can conclude with certainty, is that Realtor.ca is misrepresenting market conditions through their figures displaying average house prices, pay gates to information, and methodology disclosures guised as a patented as a housing price index. I believe that Realtor.ca should make it clear to the user how their housing price index is calculated. Realtor.ca and the MLS system has succeeded in market capture and fights to keep this information pay gated to only people that benefit from these misleading claims. Regardless of their reasons, these monopolistic practices only benefit anyone under their system through the restriction of information to shape the way the public perceives the market conditions, a clear violation of the Competition Act and a disservice to the public.
There was a lot more I wanted to cover like if Statistics Canada (u/StatCanada) sourced their data from the MLS system and the broader implications of sourcing data that could be misrepresentation. Again, I could be wrong and would welcome any additional relevant information.
https://preview.redd.it/rnsd41ym6l0d1.png?width=1681&format=png&auto=webp&s=51589de251bac87748c5ee7e9f0c24a2408fc4a0
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submitted by PunnyHeals to fredericton [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:41 Foreign_Friend8971 (UPDATE) AITAH For telling my wife she's free to find a hotel room if she doesn't want my daughter here?

(I'm sorry but I decided to delete the post because a weirdo started to just spam my private messages with different accounts and I don't know if I can put the account on private or something like that, I don't use this site too much but a bot started sending me messages asking if I needed help so I think my account could get banned because of that person doing this and I'm too old for this so I just rather post the update here where i can at least close the comments. Guess the post will be here if someone cares)
I've been thinking a lot and in fact I'm the AH because of the way I treated my wife, Even if most of the comments agreed with me, I don't think it was right to say that to the woman I love even though I was angry.
I apologized to her for what I said and the way I said it but I told her that I don't like it when she ignores me and gives me the cold shoulder when I try to talk about our issues and the fact that she denied the familiarity between our son and daughter was just cruel, she apologized for it and said she was angry and said things she regret.
I made it clear to her that Anna is coming because no one can forbid any of my children to live with me, Not only morally, but legally I am totally obligated to give my daughter and son a house, she tried to argue but I asked her how she would feel if we divorced and my new girlfriend refuses to let our son live with me just because she didn't sign up for it. I asked her if she would appreciate a man who abandons his children for a woman more than a man who cares about his children, if she would feel confident knowing that she is married to a man who abandons his children that easily.
My wife said no, that obviously she knows how much I care about our children and hates the kind of mans who abandons their kids, that she knew she wanted to have a child with me because she saw how even though my daughter was so far away I made video calls to her every day and we always help each other with things around the house. Then I asked her why she rejects the idea of my daughter being here and she admitted being jealous of Anna, it is something that I have noticed in the past. For example, for one of my daughter's birthday I sent money to her mother to buy her a dress that was quite expensive and my wife just said 'I guess you will buy our son something just as expensive' it was my mistake to let those comments pass and think they were just a weird joke.
She said that she doesn't want my daughter to come and took time away from our son, that bothered me and I told her that if we had two children my time would also be divided and that as a father I can give the same attention to both, Changing our routine doesn't have to be a negative thing and she knows that Ana is not a problem teenager.
We talked a lot And I explained to her that I just want to make everything work for both of us, I apologized if I made her feel bad with the way I treated her, and I told her that I want to really hear what things are bothering her so we can understand each other better, we agreed to have better dialogue and communication about this kind of things. My wife admitted that her jealousy is wrong and feels embarrassed about it but it's how she feels and she feels awful for feeling like that, I told her that feeling isn't right, being jealous of my daughter isn't right and I told her that it would be okay to start going to the psychologist if we want to fix this because I'm not going to leave my daughter live in a place where she doesn't feel loved, my wife accepted after talking about it a lot these days and she wants to work on herself about that because doesn't like feeling like that about a little girl and knows it's wrong.
My wife and daughter always had a nice treatment, when I make video calls with Anna, my wife usually talks a little but not that much, I think my mistake was not offering my wife to make video calls alone with Anna like Anna does with my toddler sometimes. My daughter really likes my wife and calls her 'auntie' even if they don't know each other too well, so I don't want her to know how my wife really feels about her.
I offered my wife to teach her how to play the same video game I play with my daughter so they can play together and get to know each other more, I know Ana would love that! They both have a lot of same intereses, she accepted and said she loves me and wants to try it for me and for our toddler.
If I leave my wife I would be breaking my son's house, he's my baby too and the last thing I want is letting adult matters affect him, I don't want to do that and I love this woman, I want this to work and I'm going to do my part for it but the first moment she treats my daughter badly, I will end things with her and I clarified that to her and she was right with that and promised me to work on this.
I still haven't confirmed anything to Ana's mother about the date on which our daughter can come since I need to fix the room for her first and I want my wife and little girl to get to know each other better, talking about it with my psychologist, he told me that the best thing is always to get them closer little by little before Ana comes to live here. This last four days my wife and Ana have been talking longer and I told Ana that we could teach my wife how to play with us, Ana feels really comfortable talking with my wife and they started talking about random things which I feel out of because I don't understand about the things they talk about, but I'm pretty glad to see that they actually have things to talk about.
I suppose a lot of people are going to call me an idiot for not divorcing my wife because that was what most of the comments told me, but it's not all that simple as "Yeah, we argued so let's get divorced and have 50/50 of custody" And I personally think it's been better for us to have spoken up like mature people instead of just getting divorced. Seeing that my wife has opened up to me and is trying to work things out, I prefer to give this a second chance and hope that she can see my daughter as her friend and even as her family if she allows it to herself. "Your wife is going to treat your daughter badly" No one can read the future to say that but I can work to make that future not happen, in the meantime I prefer to maintain a positive approach since my wife has never behaved badly with my daughter and my daughter knows that if she feels uncomfortable, she knows she can talk about it with her mom, stepdad, or me as we always teach her to talk to us about anything that makes her uncomfortable. Ana has a sharp tongue so I doubt she'll stay quiet if my wife makes any comments that make her uncomfortable.
I'm not going to force them to be bestfriends, I want them both to flow on their own. I'm also not going to use my daughter as a free babysitter as many in the comments suggested as a supposed solution And both she and her brother can live in this house as long as they want.
Edit: In the previous post several people said that my wife also made a post here but it's false, she doesn't use this site
Edit: I don't understand why, but I've been getting a lot of Notifications from that bot from a redditor who thinks I need help and private spam messages from different accounts created literally today. I really don't know who's doing this and I don't understand what's the fun of annoying like that, just block me.
submitted by Foreign_Friend8971 to u/Foreign_Friend8971 [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:39 ilikegoldfishnsnakes [17m] Guten Tag fellow people, hopefully I can find some people with similar interests to talk to! A comprehensive description of my interests is given below. Attached is a picture of a magpie for your amusement

[17m] Guten Tag fellow people, hopefully I can find some people with similar interests to talk to! A comprehensive description of my interests is given below. Attached is a picture of a magpie for your amusement
Hey there,
You have hereby entered my post so feel free to read it and if any of this sounds good to you feel free to message me (I am sure if you are an interesting person we will get along well, yay).
To get the most painful thing out of the way, if you hate math or physics, that'd be a big bummer, because they are my two main passions and I don't think I would get along with you if you did not like them, I apologize :(.
So anyways a bit of information about me: As you have probably read from the title, I am a 17 year old guy from the GMT +1 timezone which means if it is midnight for you, its maybe not midnight for me, i dont know, anyways.
I have a lot of interests so I am sure some of yours will be covered by mine and I would love to hear about your interests and what you do in life, because learning about other people is f u n.
My interests include but are not limited to (sounds like an ad slogan, which i mean, this sort of is):
-Physics, Maths, I like both of them -Poetry, I write poems - Reading, I read a bit - Philosophy, metaphysics in particular - Guitar, I like guitar - History, I like history - Movies, series, romance in particular for movies, for my favorite movies you will have to message me - Filmography and music in general are really exciting subjects, if you know anything about that give me info - Learning about other peoples interests - Journalism (I like to do deep dives into various topics)
What I am not particularly interested in is food, I just eat. Thats it, really. I dont know why I mentioned that but whatever its there now.
For all of the people out there that like to know what music I always listen to:
  • The Beatles, I love them
  • Nirvana, I love them, not everything from them, but I love them
For Nirvana and The Beatles I also really love their history - Queen, because of course - RHCP, they just make good music I guess
My favorite songs are - A day in the life - Bohemian Rhapsody - The man who sold the world (Not the Nirvana cover but the original David Bowie song, you need to listen to it, its wonderful. Dot.)
Also if you can it would be nice for you to write a little bit about why you messaged me, what your interests are or something becuase I find it suprisingly difficult to respond to something such as "hey" or something similar that isnt really a conversation starter or introduction. That would be nice, yay :D
If any of that sparked your interested and you read all that stuff, feel free to message me, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
submitted by ilikegoldfishnsnakes to TeensMeetTeens [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:34 Puzzleheaded-Rub3122 My bipolar friend blocked me because I told them that they made me feel uncomfortable

I’m sharing this because I really wanna know what You would do in my place, whether I did the right thing and can I be mad at my friend
English isn’t my first language, sorry for any mistakes (kinda long text? mentions of selfharm, SA) I hope I explained my situation clearly. If any points are unclear, ask me
Today, my friend sent a photo of selfharm on Telegram in the morning, but they didn't write anything else (it was just a photo) and we didn’t communicate for several weeks. I was slightly confused when I saw the photo, even though they could have just sent photos of their sh in the middle of our conversation many times earlier and I always tried to comfort them. But I think what they did today is too much. They said to me that they have bipolar disorder and I understand that in this way, people with mental illnesses want to receive support
However, when I wanted to get support from him, as I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma, which I wrote to him about on another messenger a several weeks ago, he read my messages and did not respond. Besides, he did not congratulate me on my birthday, which was the day before yesterday, but he remembers the date exactly I think? since a few months ago he asked me about it. (Ok I know that’s a dumb reason to be resent but still that a little bit hurt me, also I bought them ps5 because they asked me to buy it for them many times so I did it, though I was saving money for a gift for myself)
Generally we've been friends for 3 years and he was a very good person and I love them as a friend, but about 6 months he's been acting weird, for example, he joked about sex when i told them that i was almost sa’d and he could made jokes about my insecurities. I told my friends about them and they said that I should to stop communicating with them, as their behavior seemed very annoying to them. But I don’t blame them for their disorder because they are most likely just having a manic period
Although I still decided to message him that his sudden photo of sh made me feel uncomfortable. In response, he messaged “Ok” and cleared the chat for both (that means the chat is cleared for me too) and blocked me. I regret that I messaged to him about this, as I still appreciated our friendship, because earlier they really was the sweetest friend who always lifted my mood. I want to apologize to them but I can't get in touch with them in any way :(
submitted by Puzzleheaded-Rub3122 to mentalillness [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:33 jawismyworstenemy Possible third round--documenting journey

Just unloading my story here as I'm about to reach out to my orthodontist as I've been unhappy with my current results, both for aesthetic and physical reasons. I really appreciate anyone who can relate or give advice, but otherwise, just want to document my experience. I've had a long struggle with not only my teeth but also my TMJ.
Currently: It's been 2 years since I finished my Invisalign and I wasn't happy with the results even once my treatment finished, but I thought it was just because my teeth themself were small and not great looking and that I should just live with it, but now am realizing I liked my teeth more before so maybe it wasn't the best Invisalign job.
My current concerns with my teeth are
  1. They're not very straight. One mark of this for me is that when I look at the bite mark of my top teeth, there's a wide angle between my front two teeth. Also my bite is not centered--the center of my top front two teeth doesn't match up with the bottom.
  2. I had a problem that I didn't before this round of Invisalign, which is having a lot of saliva and getting caught on my tongue when saying words with the letter S. I don't know how exactly to describe it, but for words like "scared" or "skate", my tongue sometimes gets kinda caught and you'll hear the saliva bubbling up, gross lol!
  3. My teeth are very short from being ground down due to bruxism and I think my Invisalign pulled them back even more--I can feel that when I bite, my jaw closes more than before
  4. I've had TMJ problems for most of my life which I hoped the Invisalign would help with. I thought they might have helped a bit but ultimately I think they've made it worse--for all my life it's just been my left jaw joint that clicks and gets sore, but after this round of Invisalign I sometimes have clicking and pain in my right jaw joint :(
Background: I've had a clicking left jaw as far as I can remember, maybe since I was in elementary school, but it didn't really start bothering me until high school. I had braces when I was 13, didn't wear my retainer because I was a dumb kid. A few years after that, high school time, I also started having severe jaw muscle soreness, probably partially because I would wear my retainer that didn't fit and start chewing on it unconsciously in my sleep. My teeth ended up shifting a ton anyways, my back teeth hardly touched--I definitely needed braces again.
I got my first round of Invisalign when I was 18, which I also hoped would address my TMJ problems. When it was done I was super happy with the results aesthetically, I loved to smile! But I was still having major TMJ and jaw muscle pain. After a few months I went to get an opinion from a dentist who said they specialize in TMD, and they pointed out that even though I'd had Invisalign, my back teeth weren't touching. It was true, my teeth only actually touched in like one place on each side lol. They referred me to a different orthodontist. I trusted their opinion a lot, so I thought, sure I'll go to a new orthodontist, my old one must have been an idiot to finish my Invisalign treatment when my teeth didn't even touch!
So I started my second round of Invisalign with a new orthodontist. Things seemed fine and dandy--unfortunately my treatment got interrupted my COVID which might have caused some complications, but ultimately I finished the round of Invisalign after two years. During treatment I had an issue where my jaw got really sore only when I wore the bottom retainer, but I just wore it at night and I think it was fine. But by the end of the treatment, I thought my teeth looked worse. I wasn't happy like I was after my first round of Invisalign. However, I initially thought this was because my teeth were just decaying (I'd had issues with a sensitivity and exposed dentin during that time) and they were smaller now and would never look as good. Hopefully that's not the case! I also have the issues mentioned above which I think are actually concerning beyond aesthetics.
I will see my orthodontist again and hopefully we'll be able to do something so I feel more comfortable with my teeth--I'm hoping my plan covers stuff like this for an extended amount of time so that I don't have to pay all over again. For my TMJ, I also just had a sleep study done since I do clench my teeth at night, and will see about those results in a few weeks. I also just started physically therapy. Hopefully things will look up for me--my TMJ and teeth problems are so disruptive to my life. They prevent me from focusing, and my jaw gets so sore sometimes that I don't even want to talk, and if I do my jaw spazzes and clicks and looks gross. Hoping for the best for myself!!
Thank you very much for reading if you got to the end.
TL;DR going back to my orthodontist after 2 years because unhappy with Invisalign results, also starting different treatment options for TMJ. hoping to see an upward climb from here in my TMJ/teeth journey!!
submitted by jawismyworstenemy to Invisalign [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:29 squeakyfromage What’s an objectively popular name for your birth-year/generation you weirdly never hear?

Very random, but a friend and I were chatting the other day about quintessential millennial names, and I (born in 1991, Canada) realized I somehow don’t know any Ashleys, and never have (growing up/elementary school, university, workplace).
I was quite shocked considering it was the top name of 1991 (using American data since I don’t think we have Canadian data for that year, and we usually have similar trends). I also don’t think I have ever known anyone named Brittany (3), Kayla (12), Amber (16), or Shelby (33).
I thought it was a great example of how much your region, socio-economic class, and just random happenstance can affect the frequency of a name.
Someone can end up with a popular name and yet be the only one with that name (if I’d had an Ashley in my class, they would have been the only one). Similarly you could have an objectively less popular name and somehow not be unique — I knew multiple Emmas (123), Claires (162), Amelias (194), Paiges (96) and Olivias (61), despite all being objectively much less popular than Ashley.
Do you have names like this, where they’re objectively popular for your birth year or overall generation but you somehow don’t know anyone with that name?
submitted by squeakyfromage to namenerds [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:27 alkisawnik 23 (M) - I feel like I lost it in a second. Please give me any opinion!

Hi Guys,
I would really appreciate any kind of opinion on my problem!
This is my first ever post on reddit but I am so overwhelmed by the emotions in the last couple of days:
A little back story about me: I am 23 years old male, perfectly stable life with many good friends and very loving and rich family. I never experienced any kind of trauma in my life. I am generally very positive and social person and also before this "incident" I was looking forward to many good events in next couple of weeks in my life.
In last couple of weeks I started talking with my friends a lot about philosophy and religion (I am agnostic but I was very close to Christianity since I was born). Last wednesday when I was lying in my bed before sleep I started visualising certain scenarios about how we (humans) got here and all of a sudden I got this idea that maybe the whole world is just a projection of my own conciosness and I am all alone. Although I heard this theory before I never actually thought about it more seriously so as soon as I visualised it even for a second my anxiety skyrocketed and it felt like I had a panic attack. My life in a second lost all its meaning and I felt all alone. Next couple of days everything seemed like some kind of dream, I couldn't concentrate on anything and felt horrible, although I did get certain periods of the day when I didn't think about it and I felt a little better.
Since then I tried to really rationalise my beliefs and felt a little bit better (not completely). But now my anxiety is soo high that I started questioning everything about my life and reality. I occasionally get the feeling that maybe my whole life is a lie and I know this sounds weird because there is all physical evidence in front of me (pictures with memories, family, phone calls from friends), but I just get this feeling that maybe I am delusional and I don't even know it. Although this feeling lasts only for a short period of time when I consciously think about it and it is getting better every day, for some reason I stopped going out completely and just lay in my bed whole day and rest. I also eat much much less then I used to before - this is the only good thing because I will loose some kgs and get shredded :-). This is really having an impact on my life since I was very social and happy before this and now I lost motivation and goals in life. The best explanation about my state is that I am very confused about subjects that cannot be proven or I dont 100% trust the proof that is in front of me (weird).
My worst fear is that this is a start of serious mental illness and that my whole life will be just me doubting all my beliefs and that I will never go back to that happy state that I was one week ago. I don't know if this feeling can ever go away, I am so scared that I will loose my friends, stop loving my family for some reason and give misery to all people around me. I had very bright future ahead of me, everyone that knew me thought I will be very successful and my parents thought I will give them beautiful grandchildren in the future.
What are some of your advices I should do. Do you guys really think I snapped under pressure due to anxiety and I will be like this forever? Should I visit psychiatrist or go to psychotherapy?
In advance thank you for all your replies and perspectives!
submitted by alkisawnik to mentalhealth [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:08 butterflyblast should i (17F) break up with my boyfriend (19M) over finding out about his porn addiction?

this is my first time posting on reddit, im looking for any kind of advice or input. i (17F) have been with my boyfriend (19M) for almost six months now, our anniversary is in 2 days. this is my first relationship and his second relationship, we’ve had problems since we started dating, we’ve never been in a fight over anything ive done, just gonna be completely real im a very anxious person and a huge perfectionist in every aspect of my life and since this is my first relationship i have been extremely diligent to do everything right, i cant say the same for him. hes hurt me emotionally so many times throughout this relationship, he can often be careless and doesnt consider me, and then doesnt see a problem with that. hes fucked up in so many MAJOR ways that have literally landed me in the hospital, no physical ab*se is happening, but he is still the cause of my reoccurring doctors visits. i wont get into all the ways hes hurt me emotionally and done shit thats fucked me over since this post is intended to be ab my current predicament with him, but i will just say that it gets BAD. hes never cheated on me as far as i know, i believe women should never trust men so im not saying this because i trust his every word, i just genuinely dont think he would have the balls to do something like that, plus i am literally the catch of his life. his friends and mine and just people we are acquainted with often ask me how he pulled me and say to him and i that im way out of his league, my boyfriend says this as well. i dont want to come off as cocky or anything like that at all, i am a very humble person irl, but i just want to paint the picture of our relationship for anyone who can help me out right now. i do know that im very very pretty, patient, caring, generous, kind, understanding, polite, and poised. i grew up with an eating disorder most of my life and never believed my appearance was good enough or held any value, so i made a point to not have a rotten soul, i made a point to really really work on myself on the inside, so that i could fall in love with being alive enough to realize that my appearance was not the most important thing. throughout the years my insecurity faded away and ive gotten to a point in my life where i know who i am, i know that im a truly good person, and i know that im really good looking. ANYWAY sorry for that whole spiel but it will be relevant when i get into whats happening in my relationship at the moment!!!!
my relationship has a lot of really good moments, i can be so real with him, we are always laughing on good days, he can be so kind and caring and chivalrous at times, i feel so safe with him in those times, i believe we have a really genuine connection.
NOW for the current issue
 i broke up with him this march (we were only broken up for exactly 24hrs) due to the build up of fucked up shit hes put me through, him following pornstars on insta, liking girls thirst traps, disappearing to LA when i was in the hospital because of him, and the list goes on and on and on. my point is, one of the reasons was him following porn stars and liking that kind of content on social media. we are not an on and off couple, this is the only time we’ve broken up, and the whole 24hrs that we were we quite literally stayed on the phone, throughout the whole evening, night, morning, and his whole work day up until we met up to continue talking ab things in person. i was extremely explicit in the fact that his current behavior was unacceptable, i wasnt going to stand for it, and that i would have a 0 toleration policy for any boundary crossing, fuck ups, or general asshole behavior in the future.
i told him that i had 2 options, i could either follow through with my decision to leave him based on what has actually happened in our relationship, or i could trust him saying that he was going to change and give him a second chance. i am really in love with him and i want him to be a part of my life, as i want to be a part of his, so i chose to stay with him and give him the opportunity to prove to me he could be better, and continue to be a better man from that point forth. things have been really good since i made this choice, hes made a major effort to be better in every aspect, and made positive changes to his own life, he seems happier and seems to have more energy and more of a lust for life since this, and i am so happy to see that. i could go on and on but basically things have just been really amazing.
NOW FOR THE REAL TEA!!!! 2 weeks ago i found out i was pregnant, and had to take the abortion pill a few days after that, he was really amazing throughout the whole process, but its been hard for me nonetheless, the way doctors treated me, having to hide it from my mom, having morning sickness, the hormonal up and downs of it all, the fact that being pregnant is my biggest fear, combined with other stress in my personal life. ive been kinda down lately due to this, it was just a hard thing to go through esp at my age, but ive been making an effort to take care of myself, not slip into depression, and move forward with my life. ive been doing well more recently, but it was just a rough patch for me personally. my cat has also been sick since ab the exact same time i found out i was pregnant, and ive been super stressed ab that and losing sleep taking care of him all night and day, every night and day.
REALREAL TEA TIME. REAL TEA. since my cats not doing well, i decided to hangout with my boyfriend after he got off of work the other day, just to get my mind off of it, get out of the house, and enjoy life for a bit. we ended up having an AMAZING night, like seriously so good, i fell in love with him all over again ab 10 million times that night. at the end of the night we decided to go back to my place and sleepover there. he went to sleep soon after we got home, but i stayed up because i needed to take off my makeup and take a shower. before showering, i decided to go on his phone to send myself cute pictures we had taken and also to take a peak at what hes been up to. things have been so good lately and i wanted to prove to myself that i made the right decision in staying with him. unfortunately things did not go so well. i ended up looking through his phone for a few hrs because i found LOADS of hentai and porn he was looking at on reddit in his history, porn on discord, repeating onlyfans links in his search history (which were dated to the DAY after i found out i was pregnant and would have to have an abortion), i found a group he was in on facebook that consisted entirely of borderline porn, and i found messages he had deleted on facebook of him messaging a girl and asking her to send him nudes and telling her that she was sexy dated to when we first officially got into a committed relationship, his recent searches on reddit were all groups that consist solely of porn, his link history on reddit contained onlyfans links, and there were onlyfans models in his recent searches on insta as well. i was absolutely devastated, i was feeling so many things and wanted to end it right then and there, i decided to take my shower, do skincare and all of that stuff, go to sleep and tell him what i found in the morning. it was like 3am at this point. i finished getting ready for bed around 5:30am and went to my nightstand to plug in my phone, my boyfriend is a super heavy sleeper so i didnt think him waking up was even a possibility, but he woke up and asked me to come cuddle in bed with him, since he was half awake, i knew if i got into bed he’d start cuddling with me, and i could not handle that so id have to push him away, leaving me no choice but to confront him at that time instead of in the morning as i had planned. so i said “hey (bf’s name), do you wanna tell me why you’ve been looking at loads of porn on reddit” he quickly became fully conscious when he realized what was happening. he was still out of it but kind of trying to talk to me and ask me what was happening, i didnt say anything, i grabbed my pillow and a blanket and told him to go back to sleep and that we’d discuss it in the morning, he asked me where i was going and i said to sleep on my couch, then i gave him 2 options, i said he could either leave right then and there, or go back to sleep and we’d talk ab it later in the morning and i would sleep on my couch, but i told him we were not gonna have the convo right then and there. i went downstairs and set up my couch bed, then i was like wait a damn minute why am i the one sleeping on the couch, i came back upstairs and told him that i changed my mind and that he could either leave or sleep on the couch. he never made a decision and we ended up having the whole convo ab everything right then and there, i remained stern and i was clearly angry but i did not raise my voice or throw out insults. at first he tried lying to me and saying it wasnt him and all this other bullshit, but eventually he admitted that he has a porn addiction. i was still extremely upset, i understand that its a common thing in my generation, porn-like content is all over social media and so easy to access, but it still shook me to my core. porn addiction is a real thing but like idk how to deal with this, i am so hurt and feeling so many things, there was SO much of it and it all feels like cheating to me. this is making me question everything ab our intimate life, it makes me feel like it doesnt mean anything to him. idek when and how he has the energy to jerk off because we both have a high sex drive and see each other rly often, so we have LOTS of sex and im never the one to tap out after multiple rounds. its not vanilla either so its not like theres some sort of unfulfilled desire happening, i really do not get it at all, and i am SO unbelievably hurt. i dont know if i can ever move on from this or forgive him, or “help and support and reassure” him as he tries to quit this addiction. it feels like im begging my bf to only have eyes for me. like im support him in his endeavor to stop looking at other naked girls. nothing about it feels right and i dont know what to do. i love him so unbelievably much, but this changes everything, i wish this never happened because i do want to be with him, i just dont know how to, or if i should, now. any and all advice would be appreciated. i am completely undecided on what to do from this point on.
submitted by butterflyblast to teenrelationships [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:06 Crazy-Concern8080 Hearts and Minds 4: When All is Said - (Part 2)

A little plot convinient coincidence never hurt anyone.
First
You know the drill: credit to SpacePaladin15 for the universe.
Thank you JulianSkies for proofreading.
Memory Transcription Subject: Gillab, Gojid Citizen, Husband and Father
Date [Standardized Human Time]: March 27, 2142
It was early in the morning, birds were chirping, and the air was still chilled from the night. It was a comfortable morning, especially considering what had happened yesterday. I could still feel the leftovers of a hangover in the back of my head, but it was more than manageable for me. A small headache like that wouldn’t stop me from visiting the memorial.
I still had a ways to walk before I got there, but I didn’t mind. It just let me take in the beauty of the new New York City that had been built. Even if I wasn’t a Human, I felt a sense of pride at the sight of the glistening towers and the clean streets. Despite only playing a minor role in the clean-up and reconstruction, it was certainly enough for me to feel that I had contributed enough to take pride in it.
I still cannot believe I ever even thought of hating Humans, the fact that I did still disgust me to this day. I wasn’t alone in that mindset either, billions of former soldiers, exterminators, or Human-phobes had woken up to the reality, with tens of thousands of them moving to Earth and trying to repay the Humans what they had taken. Many of them still struggled with coming to terms with their past.
It was because of them that I could become a husband to the most beautiful Gojid in the universe and father to the most rambunctious one. Without their help on the Cradle, I would have died long ago and never have been able to even see the love of my life. They inspired me to become more than just a father and husband, I was going to become just like them.
In my free time, I often worked for charities, volunteered for clean-ups, and tried my hand as a substitute teacher. Even if I wasn’t the best at it, I still enjoyed doing them. It let me feel like I was making a difference in the world, continuing the legacy that the Humans had set up. I would save as many people as I could, just like the person who saved me.
I had lost track of Billy ever since the Cradle, and the one time I had heard about him was from Naeriu telling me how Billy ended up surviving in a cabin in Alaska. It wasn’t like I didn’t try to find him, but it was a big universe, and finding one soldier seemingly determined not to be found made it frustratingly difficult.
After six years of on-and-off searching, I had finally given up on him. I had searched for his name several times on every memorial I could find, desperately hoping to find some sort of closure on his life, but in the end I was left clueless as to the fate of the man who did so much for me.
I sighed the thoughts out of my head, not wanting to have such a negative mindset when I was trying to visit some friends.
I passed under the familiar arch, taking a deep breath of the salty air as I did. After the bombs fell, the crater left behind quickly flooded with ocean water. The near-perfect bowl had become a new habitat for all manner of sea life, a symbol of how even the worst tragedy could be overcome. Surrounding the crater was a ring of stone walls, divided into sections corresponding to when and where a soldier was killed or went missing.
I navigated the massive monument with familiarity, having visited it many times before. I’ve always preferred to visit the day after the holiday, it was always almost empty as people had their fill the day before. Every year or so someone would have a similar idea to me, but it never drew from the experience.
And speaking of, a single man was standing in the exact spot I preferred to stand in. In one of his hands was a bag with the top of a bottle poking out and his other was clenched into a tight fist, his eyes were clenched tightly, his face was strained in pain and profound sadness. You didn’t need to be a detective to know that this man was hurting, whether for lost brethren in arms, lost biological brethren, or simply overwhelming sadness from the loss of life, this man was hurting.
I considered leaving the disheveled man to his devices, but some deep part of my mind told me to talk to him. He didn’t turn to face me as I got closer, he didn’t even open his eyes. It was as if nothing outside of his mind was real to him and it could all be ignored.
“Excuse me? Sir? Are you visiting someone you know?”
He still ignored me, but he loosened the death grip he had on his fist.
“It’s fine if you don’t tell me, but I find that it helps to talk about your feelings with someone else. Even if that someone else is an alien.”
Slowly the man opened his eyes and sluggishly turned to face me. Still, he refused to speak.
“It’s fine if you don’t want to speak, I can stay quiet. But if you won’t stop me, I’d like to speak at you. You don’t have to respond, sometimes it’s better to just listen anyway.”
To my surprise, the man actually spoke. His voice was rough and sad, matching the image in front of me. “Why are you here?”
I smiled and turned to face the wall of names. “I’m visiting some old friends, people who saved my life.”
I pointed a claw at the names. “Owen Oak and James Kle are the ones that I know here, but I know more at other points along the wall. Who did you know?”
The man was silent for a moment. “The same people.”
“Really? How did you know them?”
“I was a soldier. I worked with them.”
I started to nod when a thought flashed through my mind. If he knew the soldiers who worked with Billy, maybe he knew Billy himself. It didn’t seem like a stretch in my eyes, they were all part of the same squad after all.
So, despite having given up on actively searching for Billy, I decided to ask the question. “If you don’t mind me asking, do you maybe know a soldier named Billy Marsh?”
“That’s me.”
I blinked. “W-what?”
“I’m Billy Marsh.”
I stepped back and looked the man up and down. As I did, he finally looked me in the eyes. Once I saw his eyes, the color and shape, I knew with all my heart that this man was Billy Marsh. Even with the scraggly hair, patchy beard, dirty clothes, and brown-bagged drink in hand, there was no mistaking the eyes of the man who saved my life.
“Holy shit
 It really is you.”
Billy took a deep drink of his liquor, barely flinching from what I could now see was Venlilian alcohol. He must have been drinking it frequently to be so used to the burning, and judging from his appearance that was no stretch.
“Yeah, it’s me. Billy Marsh, Human trash and parasite to the world.”
My mind tumbled at the words, causing me to stutter and hold out a claw in surprise. “N-now wait a second. You are anything but Human trash or a parasite. You’re a hero Billy, I know for a fact. You saved my life!”
“I’m no hero. I’ve killed so many others. It would have been better off if I never joined the military, maybe more lives could have been saved. Maybe Owen’s life could have been saved.”
He took another gulp of his drink as I spoke. “Now hold on, you saved plenty of-”
Alcohol spilled onto his shirt as he yelled. “I didn’t save anyone! Someone else could have saved so many more lives than I could! At the end of it all, when all was said and done, I was an idealistic fool and a failure and a horrible person. I’ve ended up killing more people than I’ve saved, and I’ve ruined so many lives.”
I took a stand. “Now that’s blatantly not true. Who’s telling you this? Billy, you are one of the kindest, most caring people I have ever met.”
“Was. I was one of the kindest and most caring. And you want to know why? It was because I hadn’t been woken up to just how terrible the universe really was. I mean, what could one young, dumb soldier do in the grand scheme, right? If I really wanted to help, I should have become a doctor or a fucking politician, right? But I chose to be a soldier, a useless fucking pawn that wasn’t even good at its job.”
He took another drink as I stood stunned at who Billy had become. I never could have expected the valiant, patient, caring soldier to become so volatile and angry. I had to help him. I don’t care if I have to miss a few classes, I’m rescuing this man from himself.
“Billy, can I visit sometime soon?”
He spilled a little alcohol as he pulled the bottle away quickly. “Fuck no. I don’t need to ruin your life too. Stay the hell away from me, I’m like a fucking bomb. You are just going to get hurt, it’s a miracle you didn’t the first time.”
“Well if you’re a bomb, then I’m going to disarm you. I don’t know how long you have been like this, but I’m going to heal you.”
He pointed a finger at my chest. “Then I’m just going to fight back. I’m not letting you anywhere near me.”
I pointed right back. “You don’t get to make that decision. It’s my life, and I am choosing to help you.”
“You are going to regret it. I say that with one hundred percent absolute certainty.”
“We won't know until we try.”
Billy took a step back, placed a hand on his head and growled. “You know what? Fine. Try your luck. It’s your life, right? But when you see just how helpless you are to help me, don’t expect to get your wasted time back. I don’t know what you think you can do, but give it a try! It’s still early in the morning, so why don’t we head on back to my place so you can work whatever magic you think you have.”
Billy didn’t wait for a response and stormed off to the exit without another word. I watched him for a long moment before sighing deeply. I don’t know the exact details of what happened to him, but with what Naeriu told me and the names on the memorial I could piece together some vague details. It sounded like Billy had gone through hell, and now he thinks he deserves it.
I clenched my claw in determination before jogging to catch up to Billy. I had some calls to make on the way over to his house knowing just how much work I was going to have to do to help the man who saved me.
submitted by Crazy-Concern8080 to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 14:01 AdIcy4881 Another family doesn't believe how badly I was abused. Here we go again...

TLDR: my MIL doesn't believe me about my childhood trauma, just like my own mom years ago.
I (F27) stopped talking to my father 3 years ago. He used to abuse me when I was little, and the abuse was both mental and physical: yelling, manipulating, guilt tripping, comparing to other kids, pulling me by my hair across the floor, smearing a plate of food into my face, shaking me by my shoulders. (He's never had problems with alcohol, he did it while sober.)
He never got caught because he was a good manipulator - saying to my mother "she's making it all up!" was enough for her to get mad at me too - for "saying bad things about dad". (She eventually believed me and divorced him because he started acting the same way towards her too.)
When I attended therapy in my teens, I first realised that I was never to blame for his behaviour. Then, it took some years to break the contact with him completely: I moved away from my hometown and gradually stopped visiting the house until 3 years ago, I visisted him for the very last time.
That time was the absolute last straw for me, because he'd turned into a different kind of manipulator - faking tears and even a heart attack to get my attention and pity (he "fainted", holding his hand on the heart area, and when he realised I was calling 911, he casually got up saying "no no, that's not necessary", and walked away). Also, not a single attempt to apologise - only playing the victim.
Meanwhile, I met the love of my life, and he has a truly loving family. They treat me like their own daughter and I couldn't be more grateful for that.
I and my MIL have had some deeper talks about tough topics, that including my childhood. I've revealed to her that my father has been an abusive manipulator.
Recently though, I had plans in my hometown, which I visited right after visiting my in-laws. When I was telling my MIL that I have to run some errands in my hometown, she said "will you be visiting your dad too?", and when I said no, her tone switched to a slightly judging one, "but [my name], cmon, stop it. You should."
I feel like she can't fathom the amounts of abuse. I also feel she also thinks I'm exaggerating it, just like my mom thought back then. And this is like salt in my old wound.
These people have a young relative (toddler), whom they love a lot and truly care about. They could never ever, ever forgive anyone who hurt this little human being - but when I've been physically hurt back when I was a toddler too, it's "cmon stop it, you should visit your abuser".
I know she talks like that only because she genuinely doesn't understand the seriousness of my past situation, but gosh, it stings like a knife. It's like other kids need to be loved and protected, but the little me could be literally pulled by her hair across the floor, and now I "should just forget it and visit dad 😊". My father doesn't desrerve to be visited, he's sick in the head and due to him, I'm still fighting childhood trauma. If anyone did anything close to that to their little relative, the abuser would face serious consequences IMMEDIATELY.
I wish they understood it.
submitted by AdIcy4881 to offmychest [link] [comments]

2024.05.15 13:59 Jerry_Attric8 Gaming / Game design / Music production PC

  1. Is this a brand new build, or an upgrade to an existing build?
Brand new
  1. Please list any existing parts or monitor(s) you have that you would like to re-use with this build. For upgrades, a PCPartPicker list of your full build is extremely helpful. Be as specific as you can be here, including links or exact model numbers of each component whenever possible.
N/A
  1. What will this PC be used for? Examples include things like gaming, general/multimedia use, photo/video editing, coding, AI/ML, etc. Include specific games and applications you intend to run, and any particular performance goals you have, as each may have different specific hardware needs.
Primarily single/multiplayer gaming (modded Minecraft, Star Citizen, GTA6 eventually). Also will be using this for studying game design so lots of coding and all that entails. Also would like to use it for music production (like Ableton). The prettier the games can look and run smoothly, the better! I would not be running several programs at the same time, I'm not much of a multi-tasker
  1. What country will you be purchasing in? If you are in the US, do you live near a Micro Center? For other countries, please check if your country is supported by PCPartPicker by using the country selector dropdown on the top right - if not, please provide some links to reliable local vendors you are comfortable ordering from.
US, I live near a Micro Center
  1. Do you need one or more monitors included in the budget? Please list how many and any size/resolution/refresh rate preferences if needed.
2 monitors, 24-28" works for me, not super picky as long as they look nice!
  1. What is your preferred and maximum budget range for this build, in local currency? Parts lists may sometimes have additional shipping costs. Please note whether prices in your country include sales tax or not, and adjust your budget accordingly. Typically VAT countries will have it included in the part list prices, whereas regular sales tax countries like the US and Canada will not.
Preferred is $4-5k, max is $6k
  1. Do you need WiFi, or do you have a wired ethernet connection available?
I'll need WiFi
  1. Do you have any specific size or noise requirements for the build?
I'd prefer it not be too loud so it wouldn't interfere with music recording, but I can also work around the noise in other ways
  1. Do you have any aesthetic preferences for color or lighting? Describe what you're looking for, or feel free to provide some links to examples that may help. Some people prefer an inobtrusive stealth build, while others may prefer a case full of rainbow RGB.
I prefer dark greens / browns / black, not a huge fan of RGB for my aesthetic
  1. Any other specific requests or requirements? Examples might include a specific minimum amount of storage, or a particular CPU socket for a future upgrade path, etc.
Not sure if allowed, but any desk recommendations are welcome! Thanks!
submitted by Jerry_Attric8 to buildapcforme [link] [comments]

http://rodzice.org/