Hi. I just got back a series of blood ests and my dr is not concerned. I am tired all the time and feel depleted. I am also cold all the time - the optimal indoor temp for me is 78 degrees which means i am not freezing. I am considering a more IM route, but don't even know where to start in an affordable way. Any thoughts or advice would be most welcome. Here are my results if heloful in any way:
URINALYSIS
COLOR Yellow // CLARITY Cloudy // GLUCOSE, BILIRUBIN, KETONES, BLOOD, PROTEIN, NITRITE, BACTERIA - All Negative // SPECIFIC GRAVITY 1.012 // PH 8.0 // UROBILINOGEN 0.2 // LEUKOCYTE ESTERASE Moderate // RED BLOOD CELLS 11 (high) // WHITE BLOOD CELLS 2 // SQUAMOUS EPITHELIAL 4 // HYALINE CASTS 0
COMPREHENSIVE METABOLIC PANEL
SODIUM 140 // POTASSIUM 5.2 (high) // CHLORIDE 103 // CARBON DIOXIDE 25 // BLOOD UREA NITROGEN 11 // CREATININE .80 // GLUCOSE 80 // CALCIUM 9.4 // PROTEIN 70 // ALBUMIN 4.3 // AST 111 (high) // ALKALINE PHOSPHATASE 75 // BILIRUBIN 0.8 // ALT 121 (high) // eGFR (CKD-EPI 2021) 89.2 // ANION GAP 12 // CHOLESTEROL 246 (high) // TRIGLYCERIDES 90 // HDL CHOLESTEROL 70 // LDL CHOLESTEROL, CALCULATED 158 (high) // CHOLESTEROL/HDL RATIO 3.5
CBC
WHITE BLOOD CELL COUNT 6.4 // NUCLEATED RED BLOOD CELLS 0% // NUCLEATED RBC,ABSOLUTE 0.00 // RED BLOOD CELL COUNT 4.39 // HEMOGLOBIN 13.6 // HEMATOCRIT 42.7 // MEAN CORPUSCULAR VOLUME 97.3. /MEAN CORPUSCULAR HEMOGLOBIN 31.0 // MEAN CORPUSCULAR HEMOGLOBIN CONC 31.9 (low) // RDW-CV 12.9 // RDW-SD 46.5 (high) // PLATELET COUNT 298 // MEAN PLATELET VOLUME 9.7 // IMMATURE PLATELET FRACTION 1.7% // IMMATURE PLATELET FRACTION ABSOLUTE 5.1FERRITIN 115 // IRON 66 // TOTAL IRON BINDING CAPACITY 346 // IRON SATURATION 19
OTHER
THYROID PEROXIDASE AB <3.0 // T4, FREE, NON-DIALYSIS 1.0 // TSH HIGH SENSITIVITY 3.33
VITAMIN B12 541 // VITAMIN D 25 HYDROXY 37.6
HEMOGLOBIN A1C 5.1 // ESTIMATED AVERAGE GLUCOSE 100

I'm trying to model the internal temperature of a greenhouse hourly for an entire year, but for simplicity I'll just ask for a single hour.
My current energy balance, considering no change in the internal temperature of 30C (simplified to a fixed temperature for this post):
0=Q_sun-Q_conduction+/-Q_controller
The main problem I face is the solar irradiance. My understanding of solar irradiance is that, to calculate the energy recieved from the sun onto a construction, area, one would simply time the irradiance with the area. Then being interested in the change in internal temperature, I would divide Q with airs specific heat capacity (1.005 J/kg*K), airs density (1.2 kg/m3) and the volume (3688m3)
But when I use this equation, with an irradiance of 800W/m2 onto the total floor area of my greenhouse 2760m2, including an albedo for the plants, and considering that not all irradiance is going to enter the greenhouse, I still get an astronomical heat increase of 330K for that hour from the sun.
Of course the conduction and ventilation, controller, can't effectively combat such a temperature increase.
Hope someone can help me with my horrendous calculations, any wrong assumptions, or guide me to some usefull papers Thanks in advance

abandon, ability, able, about, above, absence, absolute, absolutely, abstract, abundance, academy, accent, accept, access, accident, accompany, accomplish, according, account, accurate, achieve, achievement, acid, acknowledge, acquire, across, action, active, activity, actor, actual, actually, adapt, addition, additional, address, adequate, adjust, administration, admire, admission, admit, adolescent, adopt, adult, advance, advantage, adventure, advertise, advice, advise, adviser, advocate, affair, affect, afford, afraid, after, afternoon, again, against, age, agency, agenda, agent, aggressive, ago, agree, agreement, agriculture, ahead, aid, aim, air, aircraft, airline, airport, alarm, album, alcohol, alive, all, alliance, allow, ally, almost, alone, along, already, also, alter, alternative, although, always, amateur, amazing, ambition, ambulance, among, amount, analysis, analyst, analyze, ancient, and, anger, angle, angry, animal, anniversary, announce, annual, another, answer, anticipate, anxiety, any, anybody, anymore, anyone, anything, anyway, anywhere, apart, apartment, apologize, apparent, apparently, appeal, appear, appearance, apple, application, apply, appoint, appointment, appreciate, approach, appropriate, approval, approve, approximately, architect, area, argue, argument, arise, arm, armed, army, around, arrange, arrangement, arrest, arrival, arrive, art, article, artist, artistic, as, ashamed, aside, ask, asleep, aspect, assault, assert, assess, assessment, asset, assign, assignment, assist, assistance, assistant, associate, association, assume, assumption, assure, at, athlete, athletic, atmosphere, attach, attack, attempt, attend, attention, attitude, attorney, attract, attraction, attractive, attribute, audience, author, authority, auto, available, average, avoid, award, aware, awareness, away, awful, baby, back, background, bad, badly, bag, balance, ball, ban, band, bank, bar, barely, barrel, barrier, base, baseball, basic, basically, basis, basket, basketball, bath, bathroom, battery, battle, be, beach, bear, beat, beautiful, beauty, because, become, bed, bedroom, bee, beef, beer, before, begin, beginning, behavior, behind, being, belief, believe, bell, belong, below, belt, bench, bend, beneath, benefit, beside, besides, best, bet, better, between, beyond, bicycle, big, bike, bill, billion, bind, biological, bird, birth, birthday, bit, bite, black, blade, blame, blanket, blind, block, blood, blow, blue, board, boat, body, bomb, bombing, bond, bone, book, boom, boot, border, boring, born, borrow, boss, both, bother, bottle, bottom, boundary, bowl, box, boy, boyfriend, brain, branch, brand, brave, bread, break, breakfast, breast, breath, breathe, brick, bridge, brief, briefly, bright, brilliant, bring, broad, broken, brother, brown, brush, buck, budget, build, building, bullet, bunch, burden, burn, bury, bus, business, busy, but, butter, button, buy, buyer, by, cabin, cabinet, cable, cake, calculate, call, camera, camp, campaign, campus, can, Canadian, cancer, candidate, cap, capability, capable, capacity, capital, captain, capture, car, carbon, card, care, career, careful, carefully, carrier, carry, case, cash, cast, cat, catch, category, Catholic, cause, ceiling, celebrate, celebration, celebrity, cell, center, central, century, CEO, ceremony, certain, certainly, chain, chair, chairman, challenge, chamber, champion, championship, chance, change, changing, channel, chapter, character, characteristic, characterize, charge, charity, chart, chase, cheap, check, cheek, cheese, chef, chemical, chest, chicken, chief, child, childhood, Chinese, chip, chocolate, choice, cholesterol, choose, Christian, Christmas, church, cigarette, circle, circumstance, cite, citizen, city, civil, civilian, claim, class, classic, classroom, clean, clear, clearly, client, climate, climb, clinic, clinical, clock, close, closely, closer, clothes, clothing, cloud, club, clue, cluster, coach, coal, coalition, coast, coat, code, coffee, cognitive, cold, collapse, colleague, collect, collection, collective, college, colonial, color, column, combination, combine, come, comedy, comfort, comfortable, command, commander, comment, commercial, commission, commit, commitment, committee, common, communicate, communication, community, company, compare, comparison, compete, competition, competitive, competitor, complain, complaint, complete, completely, complex, complexity, compliance, complicate, complicated, component, compose, composition, comprehensive, computer, concentrate, concentration, concept, concern, concerned, concert, conclude, conclusion, concrete, condition, conduct, conference, confidence, confident, confirm, conflict, confront, confusion, Congress, congressional, connect, connection, consciousness, consensus, consequence, conservative, consider, considerable, consideration, consist, consistent, constant, constantly, constitute, constitutional, construct, construction, consultant, consume, consumer, consumption, contact, contain, container, contemporary, content, contest, context, continue, continued, contract, contrast, contribute, contribution, control, controversial, controversy, convention, conventional, conversation, convert, conviction, convince, cook, cookie, cooking, cool, cooperation, cop, cope, copy, core, corn, corner, corporate, corporation, correct, correspondent, cost, cotton, couch, could, council, count, counter, country, county, couple, courage, course, court, cousin, cover, coverage, cow, crack, craft, crash, crazy, cream, create, creation, creative, creature, credit, crew, crime, criminal, crisis, criteria, critic, critical, criticism, criticize, crop, cross, crowd, crucial, cry, cultural, culture, cup, curious, current, currently, curriculum, custom, customer, cut, cycle, dad, daily, damage, dance, danger, dangerous, dare, dark, darkness, data, database, date, daughter, day, dead, deal, dealer, dear, death, debate, debt, decade, decide, decision, deck, declare, decline, decrease, deep, deeply, deer, defeat, defend, defendant, defense, defensive, deficit, define, definitely, definition, degree, delay, deliver, delivery, demand, democracy, Democratic, Democrat, demonstrate, demonstration, deny, department, depend, dependent, depending, depict, depression, depth, deputy, derive, describe, description, desert, deserve, design, designer, desire, desk, desperate, despite, destroy, destruction, detail, detailed, detect, detection, detective, determine, develop, developing, development, device, devil, dialogue, diet, differ, difference, different, differently, difficult, difficulty, dig, digital, dimension, dining, dinner, direct, direction, directly, director, dirt, disability, disagree, disappear, disaster, discipline, disclose, discover, discovery, discrimination, discuss, discussion, disease, dish, dismiss, disorder, display, dispute, distance, distinct, distinction, distinguish, distribute, distribution, district, diverse, diversity, divide, division, divorce, DNA, do, doctor, document, dog, domestic, dominant, dominate, door, double, doubt, down, downtown, dozen, draft, drag, drama, dramatic, dramatically, draw, drawer, drawing, dream, dress, drink, drive, driver, drop, drug, dry, due, during, dust, duty, dwell, dying, dynamic, each, eager, ear, earlier, early, earn, earnings, earth, earthquake, ease, easily, east, eastern, easy, eat, economic, economy, edge, edit, edition, editor, educate, education, educational, educator, effect, effective, effectively, efficiency, efficient, effort, egg, eight, either, elderly, elect, election, electric, electrical, electricity, electronic, element, elementary, eliminate, elite, else, elsewhere, e-mail, embrace, emerge, emergency, emission, emotion, emotional, emphasis, emphasize, employ, employee, employer, employment, empty, enable, encounter, encourage, end, enemy, energy, enforcement, engage, engine, engineer, engineering, English, enhance, enjoy, enormous, enough, ensure, enter, enterprise, entertain, entertainment, entire, entirely, entrance, entry, environment, environmental, episode, equal, equally, equipment, equivalent, era, error, escape, especially, essay, essential, essentially, establish, establishment, estate, estimate, etc, ethics, ethnic, European, evaluate, evaluation, evening, event, eventually, ever, every, everybody, everyday, everyone, everything, everywhere, evidence, evolution, evolve, exact, exactly, exam, examination, examine, example, exceed, excellent, except, exception, exchange, exciting, executive, exercise, exhibit, exhibition, exist, existence, existing, expand, expansion, expect, expectation, expense, expensive, experience, experiment, expert, explain, explanation, explode, explore, explosion, expose, exposure, express, expression, extend, extension, extensive, extent, external, extra, extraordinary, extreme, extremely, eye, fabric, face, facility, fact, factor, factory, faculty, fade, fail, failure, fair, fairly, faith, fall, false, familiar, family, famous, fan, fantasy, far, farm, farmer, fashion, fast, fat, fate, father, fault, favor, favorite, fear, feature, federal, fee, feed, feel, feeling, fellow, female, fence, festival, few, fewer, fiber, fiction, field, fifteen, fifth, fifty, fight, fighter, fighting, figure, file, fill, film, final, finally, finance, financial, find, finding, fine, finger, finish, fire, firm, first, fish, fishing, fit, fitness, five, fix, flag, flame, flat, flavor, flee, flesh, flight, float, floor, flow, flower, fly, focus, folk, follow, following, food, foot, football, for, force, foreign, forest, forever, forget, form, formal, formation, former, formula, forth, fortune, forward, found, foundation, founder, four, fourth, frame, framework, free, freedom, freeze, French, frequency, frequent, frequently, fresh, friend, friendly, friendship, from, front, fruit, frustration, fuel, fulfill, full, fully, fun, function, fund, fundamental, funding, funeral, funny, furniture, furthermore, future, gain, galaxy, gallery, game, gang, gap, garage, garden, garlic, gas, gate, gather, gay, gaze, gear, gender, gene, general, generally, generate, generation, genetic, gentleman, gently, German, gesture, get, ghost, giant, gift, gifted, girl, girlfriend, give, given, glad, glance, glass, global, glove, go, goal, God, gold, golden, golf, good, govern, government, governor, grab, grace, grade, gradually, graduate, grain, grand, grandmother, grant, grass, grave, gray, great, green, grocery, ground, group, grow, growing, growth, guarantee, guard, guess, guest, guide, guideline, guilty, gun, guy, habit, habitat, hair, half, hall, hand, handful, handle, hang, happen, happy, harbor, hard, hardly, hat, hate, have, he, head, headline, headquarters, health, healthy, hear, hearing, heart, heat, heaven, heavily, heavy, heel, height, helicopter, hell, hello, help, helpful, hence, her, herb, here, heritage, hero, herself, hey, hi, hide, high, highlight, highly, highway, hill, him, himself, hip, hire, his, historic, historical, history, hit, hold, hole, holiday, holy, home, homeless, honest, honey, honor, hope, horizon, horror, horse, hospital, host, hot, hotel, hour, house, household, housing, how, however, huge, human, humor, hundred, hungry, hunter, hunting, hurt, husband, hypothesis, ice, idea, ideal, identification, identify, identity, ignore, ill, illegal, illness, illustrate, image, imagination, imagine, immediate, immediately, immigrant, immigration, impact, implement, implication, imply, importance, important, impose, impossible, impress, impression, impressive, improve, improvement, incentive, incident, include, including, income, incorporate, increase, increased, increasingly, incredible, indeed, independence, independent, index, indicate, indication, individual, industrial, industry, infant, infection, inflation, influence, inform, information, ingredient, initial, initially, initiative, injury, inner, innocent, inquiry, inside, insight, insist, inspire, install, instance, instead, institute, institution, institutional, instruction, instructor, instrument, insurance, intellectual, intelligence, intend, intense, intensity, intention, interaction, interest, interested, interesting, internal, international, Internet, interpret, interpretation, intervention, interview, introduce, introduction, invasion, invest, investigation, investigator, investment, investor, invite, involve, involved, involvement, Iraqi, Irish, iron, Islamic, island, Israeli, issue, it, Italian, item, its, itself, jacket, jail, Japanese, jet, Jew, Jewish, job, join, joint, joke, journal, journalist, journey, joy, judge, judgment, juice, jump, junior, jury, just, justice, justify, keep, key, kick, kid, kill, killer, killing, kind, king, kiss, kitchen, knee, knife, knock, know, knowledge, lab, label, labor, laboratory, lack, lady, lake, land, landscape, language, lap, large, largely, last, late, later, Latin, latter, laugh, launch, law, lawsuit, lawyer, lay, layer, lead, leader, leadership, leading, leaf, league, lean, learn, learning, least, leather, leave, left, leg, legacy, legal, legend, legislation, legislative, legislator, legitimate, lemon, length, less, lesson, let, letter, level, liberal, library, license, lie, life, lifestyle, lifetime, lift, light, like, likely, limit, limitation, limited, line, link, lip, list, listen, literary, literature, little, live, living, load, loan, local, locate, location, lock, long, long-term, look, loose, lose, loss, lost, lot, lots, loud, love, lovely, lover, low, lower, luck, lucky, lunch, luxury, machine, mad, magazine, mail, main, mainly, maintain, maintenance, major, majority, make, maker, makeup, male, mall, man, manage, management, manager, manner, manufacturer, manufacturing, many, map, margin, mark, market, marketing, marriage, married, marry, mask, mass, massive, master, match, material, math, matter, may, maybe, mayor, me, meal, mean, meaning, meanwhile, measure, measurement, meat, mechanism, media, medical, medication, medicine, medium, meet, meeting, member, membership, memory, mental, mention, menu, mere, merely, mess, message, metal, meter, method, Mexican, middle, might, military, milk, million, mind, mine, minister, minor, minority, minute, miracle, mirror, miss, missile, mission, mistake, mix, mixture, mm-hmm, mode, model, moderate, modern, modest, mom, moment, money, monitor, month, mood, moon, moral, more, moreover, morning, mortgage, most, mostly, mother, motion, motivation, motor, mountain, mouse, mouth, move, movement, movie, Mr, Mrs, Ms, much, multiple, murder, muscle, museum, music, musical, musician, Muslim, must, mutual, my, myself, mystery, myth, naked, name, narrative, narrow, nation, national, native, natural, naturally, nature, near, nearby, nearly, necessarily, necessary, neck, need, negative, negotiate, negotiation, neighbor, neighborhood, neither, nerve, nervous, net, network, never, nevertheless, new, newly, news, newspaper, next, nice, night, nine, no, nobody, nod, noise, nomination, nominee, none, nonetheless, nor, normal, normally, north, northern, nose, not, note, nothing, notice, notion, novel, now, nowhere, nuclear, number, numerous, nurse, nut, object, objective, obligation, observation, observe, observer, obtain, obvious, obviously, occasion, occasionally, occupation, occupy, occur, ocean, odd, odds, of, off, offense, offensive, offer, office, officer, official, often, oh, oil, okay, old, Olympic, on, once, one, ongoing, onion, online, only, onto, open, opening, operate, operating, operation, operator, opinion, opponent, opportunity, oppose, opposed, opposite, opposition, option, or, orange, order, ordinary, organic, organization, organize, orientation, origin, original, originally, other, others, otherwise, ought, our, ours, ourselves, out, outcome, outside, oven, over, overall, overcome, overlook, owe, own, owner, pace, pack, package, page, pain, painful, paint, painter, painting, pair, pale, Palestinian, palm, pan, panel, panic, pant, paper, paragraph, parent, park, parking, part, participant, participate, participation, particle, particular, particularly, partly, partner, partnership, party, pass, passage, passenger, passion, past, patch, path, patient, pattern, pause, pay, payment, PC, peace, peak, peer, pen, penalty, people, pepper, per, perceive, percentage, perception, perfect, perfectly, perform, performance, perhaps, period, permanent, permission, permit, person, personal, personality, personally, personnel, perspective, persuade, pet, phase, phenomenon, philosophy, phone, photo, photographer, phrase, physical, physically, physician, piano, pick, picture, pie, piece, pile, pilot, pine, pink, pipe, pitch, place, plan, plane, planet, planning, plant, plastic, plate, platform, play, player, please, pleasure, plenty, plot, plus, PM, pocket, poem, poet, poetry, point, police, policy, political, politically, politician, politics, poll, pollution, pool, poor, pop, popular, population, porch, port, portion, portrait, portray, pose, position, positive, possess, possession, possibility, possible, possibly, post, pot, potato, potential, potentially, pound, pour, poverty, powder, power, powerful, practical, practice, prayer, preach, precisely, predict, prediction, prefer, preference, pregnancy, pregnant, preparation, prepare, prescription, presence, present, presentation, preserve, president, presidential, press, pressure, pretend, pretty, prevent, previous, previously, price, pride, priest, primarily, primary, prime, principal, principle, print, prior, priority, prison, prisoner, privacy, private, probably, problem, procedure, proceed, process, processing, processor, proclaim, produce, producer, product, production, profession, professional, professor, profile, profit, program, progress, progressive, project, prominent, promise, promote, prompt, proof, proper, properly, property, proportion, proposal, propose, prosecutor, prospect, protect, protection, protein, protest, proud, prove, provide, provider, province, provision, psychological, psychology, public, publication, publicity, publish, publisher, pull, punishment, purchase, pure, purpose, pursue, push, put, qualify, quality, quarter, quarterback, quarterly, queen, quest, question, quick, quickly, quiet, quietly, quit, quite, quote, race, racial, radiation, radical, radio, rail, rain, raise, range, rank, rapid, rapidly, rare, rarely, rate, rather, rating, ratio, raw, reach, react, reaction, reader, reading, ready, real, reality, realize, really, reason, reasonable, recall, receive, recent, recently, reception, recipe, recipient, recognition, recognize, recommend, recommendation, record, recording, recover, recovery, recruit, red, reduce, reduction, refer, reference, reflect, reflection, reform, refugee, refuse, regard, regarding, regardless, regime, region, regional, register, regular, regularly, regulate, regulation, regulator, reinforce, reject, relate, relation, relationship, relative, relatively, relax, release, relevant, relief, religion, religious, rely, remain, remaining, remarkable, remember, remind, remote, remove, repeat, repeatedly, replace, replacement, reply, report, reporter, represent, representation, representative, Republican, reputation, request, require, requirement, research, researcher, resemble, reservation, resident, residential, resign, resist, resistance, resolution, resolve, resort, resource, respect, respond, response, responsibility, responsible, rest, restaurant, restore, restriction, result, retain, retire, retirement, return, reveal, revenue, review, revolution, rhythm, rice, rich, rid, ride, rifle, right, ring, rise, risk, river, road, rock, role, roll, romantic, roof, room, root, rope, rose, rough, roughly, round, route, routine, row, rub, rubber, rude, ruin, rule, run, running, rural, rush, Russian, sacred, sad, safe, safety, sake, salad, salary, sale, sales, salt, same, sample, sanction, sand, satellite, satisfaction, satisfied, satisfy, sauce, save, saving, say, scale, scandal, scare, scatter, scenario, scene, schedule, scheme, scholar, scholarship, school, science, scientific, scientist, scope, score, scream, screen, script, sea, search, season, seat, second, secondary, secret, secretary, section, sector, secure, security, see, seed, seek, seem, segment, seize, select, selection, self, sell, Senate, senator, send, senior, sense, sensitive, sentence, separate, sequence, series, serious, seriously, servant, serve, service, session, set, setting, settle, settlement, seven, several, severe, sex, sexual, shade, shadow, shake, shall, shallow, shape, share, sharp, she, sheet, shelf, shell, shelter, shift, shine, ship, shirt, shock, shoe, shoot, shooting, shop, shopping, short, shortly, shot, should, shoulder, shout, show, shower, shrug, shut, shy, sibling, sick, side, sigh, sight, sign, signal, significant, significantly, silence, silent, silver, similar, similarly, simple, simply, sin, since, sing, singer, single, sink, sir, sister, sit, site, situation, six, size, ski, skill, skin, skirt, sky, slave, sleep, slice, slide, slight, slightly, slip, slow, slowly, small, smart, smell, smile, smoke, smooth, snap, snow, so, so-called, soccer, social, society, soft, software, soil, solar, soldier, sole, solid, solution, solve, some, somebody, somehow, someone, something, sometimes, somewhat, somewhere, son, song, soon, sophisticated, sorry, sort, soul, sound, soup, source, south, southern, Soviet, space, Spanish, speak, speaker, special, specialist, species, specific, specifically, specify, speech, speed, spend, spending, spin, spirit, spiritual, split, spoil, sponsor, sport, spot, spray, spread, spring, square, squeeze, stability, stable, staff, stage, stain, stair, stake, stand, standard, standing, star, stare, start, state, statement, station, statistical, status, stay, steady, steal, steel, steep, stem, step, stick, still, stimulate, stimulus, stir, stock, stomach, stone, stop, storage, store, storm, story, straight, strange, stranger, strategic, strategy, stream, street, strength, strengthen, stress, stretch, strike, string, strip, stroke, strong, strongly, structural, structure, struggle, student, studio, study, stuff, stupid, style, subject, submit, subsequent, substance, substantial, substitute, succeed, success, successful, successfully, such, sudden, suddenly, sue, suffer, sufficient, sugar, suggest, suggestion, suicide, suit, summer, summit, sun, super, supply, support, supporter, suppose, supposed, Supreme, sure, surely, surface, surgery, surprise, surprised, surprising, surprisingly, surround, survey, survival, survive, survivor, suspect, sustain, swear, sweep, sweet, swim, swing, switch, symbol, symptom, system, table, tactic, tail, take, tale, talent, talk, tall, tank, tap, tape, target, task, taste, tax, taxi, tea, teach, teacher, teaching, team, tear, technical, technique, technology, teen, teenager, telephone, telescope, television, tell, temperature, temporary, ten, tend, tendency, tennis, tension, tent, term, terms, terrible, territory, terror, terrorist, test, testimony, testing, text, than, thank, thanks, that, the, theater, their, them, theme, themselves, then, theory, therapy, there, therefore, these, they, thick, thin, thing, think, thinking, third, thirty, this, those, though, thought, thousand, threat, threaten, three, throat, through, throughout, throw, thus, ticket, tie, tight, time, tiny, tip, tire, tissue, title, to, tobacco, today, toe, together, toilet, token, tolerate, tomato, tomorrow, tone, tongue, tonight, too, tool, tooth, top, topic, toss, total, totally, touch, tough, tour, tourist, tournament, toward, towards, tower, town, toy, trace, track, trade, tradition, traditional, traffic, tragedy, trail, train, training, transfer, transform, transformation, transition, translate, translation, transmission, transmit, transport, transportation, travel, treat, treatment, treaty, tree, tremendous, trend, trial, tribe, trick, trip, troop, trouble, truck, true, truly, trust, truth, try, tube, tunnel, turn, TV, twelve, twenty, twice, twin, two, type, typical, typically, ugly, ultimate, ultimately, unable, uncle, undergo, understand, understanding, unfortunately, uniform, union, unique, unit, United, universal, universe, university, unknown, unless, unlike, until, unusual, up, upon, upper, urban, urge, us, use, used, useful, user, usual, usually, utility, utilize, vacation, valley, valuable, value, variable, variation, variety, various, vary, vast, vegetable, vehicle, venture, version, versus, very, vessel, veteran, via, victim, victory, video, view, viewer, village, violate, violation, violence, violent, virtually, virtue, virus, visibility, visible, vision, visit, visitor, visual, vital, voice, volume, voluntary, volunteer, vote, voter, voting, wage, wait, wake, walk, wall, wander, want, war, warm, warn, warning, wash, waste, watch, water, wave, way, we, weak, weakness, wealth, wealthy, weapon, wear, weather, web, website, wedding, week, weekend, weekly, weigh, weight, welcome, welfare, well, west, western, wet, what, whatever, wheel, when, whenever, where, whereas, whether, which, while, whisper, white, who, whole, whom, whose, why, wide, widely, widespread, wife, wild, wildlife, will, willing, win, wind, window, wine, wing, winner, winter, wipe, wire, wisdom, wise, wish, with, withdraw, within, without, witness, woman, wonder, wonderful, wood, wooden, word, work, worker, working, workout, workplace, works, workshop, world, worried, worry, worth, would, wound, wrap, write, writer, writing, wrong, yard, yeah, year, yell, yellow, yes, yesterday, yet, yield, you, young, your, yours, yourself, youth, zone.

I got to thinking about the powers of a Meruem who survived the Rose poison and went on to rule the world. This also assumes he is aware of the Dark Continent and that there are creatures there who could pose a threat to him. These Hatsu will be seperated into categories, since there's a lot of them.
Mostly, this was a chance to go absolutely wild with the pinnacle of Nen. I hope you enjoy reading busted abilities.
Foundational:
Aura Synthesis (Emission): By consuming the aura of another individual, Meruem permanently adds their aura to his reserves. This also allows him to reverse engineer any Hatsu they possessed perfectly, and improve them using his own Nen skill.
En Photons (Emission): By emitting individual particles of Nen, Meruem can gain the effects of En with effectively zero effort or aura investiture. More importantly, En Photons in contact with an individual with aura can become laden in the targets aura, returning to Meruem and activating Aura Synthesis. This means that, just by being in the same area as someone, Meruem can copy their Hatsu, and take as much of their aura reserves for himself as he pleases, though this is obviously massively faster the closer Meruem is to the target.
Specialization Access: By absorbing Aura from many specialists, Meruem gained the ability to use Specialization as if it were a normal Nen type, with 60% efficiency.
Combat:
Unshackle (Specialization): Meruem can only use this ability in a situation where he feels harm could come upon him from a source other than himself. To activate it, he must cut himself, and he cannot use Nen (including Enhancement healing) to heal it, or allow another to heal it for him. Once activated, Meruem gains 100% efficiency in all Nen categories while Unshackled. When Meruem ends this ability, 99% of his Aura pool is sealed away from him for ten times as long as he maintained Unshackle.
Transformation (Transmutation): A mix of Youpi's shapeshifting and Beelzebub, this ability allows Meruem to freely alter his form for mobility, combat, healing, and more. This is so potent that, as long as Meruem can maintain a a core the size of an ant, he can reform from nearly anything that doesn't destroy him on a cellular level. Unshackled, this ability allows Meruem to manipulate his body at the molecular level, though reconstituting large numbers of destroyed cells requires immense focus.
Spiritual Message (Emission, Manipulation): Meruem can read the mental, emotional, and aura makeup of anyone in contact with his En photons. This is so detailed that he can read minds and determine the Hatsu of targets instantly. This works on Dark Continent entities, though their complexity and uniqueness means that Meruem needs a few moments to derive useful conclusions, which is greatly reduced when Unshackled.
Mirror Clone (Emission, Manipulation): An emitted copy of himself, mirror clones do not have real substance and can be destroyed if their physical form is disrupted. They can use most of his Hatsu, and any aura granted to them is returned to Meruem if they are destroyed or are dismissed, as well as memories of everything they experienced. Although Mirror clones can move independently, they lack their own consciousness, and generally act on the last order given to them by Meruem.
Perfect Clone (Conjuration, Manipulation): Can only be activated when Unshackled. A true flesh and blood copy of Meruem. Instead of being granted a sum of Aura on creation, a Perfect Clone is instead granted a percentage of Meruem's pool, which it can recover on its own if expended, potentially even growing with Aura Synthesis. Perfect Clone is fully independent, and acts as an exact copy of Meruem's consciousness, meaning that personality drift is a real danger. Meruem considers this ability undignified, but holds it in reserve for creatures like Ai that can instantly kill anything at any range. If either the copy or original dies, the remainder receives the full Aura pool.
False Form (Conjuration): By using replacement-type conjuration to create a copy of his own body, Meruem can sustain bodily harm without it affecting his actual body. This ability normally has a latency of half a second to re-create a destroyed body part, but this is removed when Unshackled.
Executioner's Sword (Conjuration): Only usable Unshackled. Anything living pierced by this blade dies. Only one can be conjured at a time, even between clones.
Domain:
Heart of the Emperor (Conjuration): Meruem conjures an onyx shard. Any creature with this shard embedded in their heart is protected against the majority of the negative effects of Meruem's domains. Anyone else with a shard is treated as Meruem for the purpose of the domains effects.
Domain Activation (Emission): Can only be used Unshackled. Meruem emits a Nen space and teleports himself and any number of other targets into it. Each domain can only be activated if all previous domains were unsucessful in defeating one or more targets inside, and were active for at least 30 seconds on that target. Although each domain has a unique ability, all of them teleport En Photons directly between Meruem and the target, causing Aura drain to happen at a ludicrous rate.
Dimensional Anchor (Emission): Anything struck by the ray fired by this ability finds themselves unable to teleport by any means. This also foils any attempts to escape emitted spaces.
Domain I - Fields of Mourning (Manipulation): A seemingly infinite, listless field, this domain exploits the emotional vulnerabilities of the target, forcing victims to relive trauma, become overwhelmed with regret, or simply have all motivation drained away from them. Meruem can skip this domain against opponents that do not have emotions.
Domain 2 - Chains of Tartarus (Manipulation, Conjuration, Specialization): Worked stone and metal chains fill this domain. Targets inside of this domain have their body, mind, and aura seperated, unable to interact with each other. The body is paralyzed, the mind filled with pain and chaotic thoughts, and the aura rendered inert. Chans and manacles are conjured onto the target that interfere their ability to act in any way.
Domain 3 - Pits of Asphodel (Emission, Transmutation, Manipulation, Conjuration, Enhancement, Specialization): Pools of magma and gouts of flames fill this domain. This domain attempts to physically destroy the target by as many means as possible simultaneously. Heat, cold, vibration, ionization, entropy, and many more methods are used to destroy the target at an atomic, or sometimes subatomic level.
Domain 4 - Weight of Chronos (Specialization): A massive clock as the floor, with an endless abyss in every direction. This domain stops time, freezes space, and calcifies reality. Even Meruem is able to only observe and think, though he has near omniescense in this state within the domain. The purpose of this domain is to give Meruem the chance to observe, calculate, and formulate against a target that was able to resist the first three domains.
Domain 5 - Personalized Tapestry of Fate (Specialization + More?); The exact parameters of this domain are created while Weight of Chronos is active. Its purpose is to exploit weaknesses of the target in a way that allows them to be destroyed in ways that were not possible with the previous domains. If this is not possible with something standard, this serves simply to delay the target until the sixth domain unlocks.
Domain 6 - Unraveling (Specialization, Manipulation): Reality itself begins to unravel as this domain activates. This domain does not attack the target's body, mind, or aura. Instead, it attacks them as a concept, unraveling their very being at such a foundational level that there is little opportunity to resist.
Domain 7 - Colosseum (Enhancement): A large, roman colosseum. If all else fails, wearing the target down may be the only choice. When this domain activates, Meruem may take the opportunity to create a Perfect Clone outside the domain. While the domain is active, Meruem becomes five times more potent in every regard, and targets become five times weaker. Meruem also has his Aura efficiency massively increased, with expended aura mostly trickling back into his Aura pool, making him limitlessly enduring, while targets become massively inefficient, expending many times what they would even in a non weakened state. Note that this applies to unusual abilities like Ai's wishes as well.
Utility:
Teleportation (Emission): Meruem or something he targets teleports. This is instantaneous up to 100 meters (1 kilometer Unshackled), but requires concentration proportional to distance for longer teleports. In his Emitted spaces, Meruem can freely teleport anywhere within or between them. Can be used to escape Conjured or Emitted spaces.
Reactive Instincts (Manipulation, Specialization): Meruem is constantly self-manipulated with this ability, which reacts to danger or unusual situations. It can intuit danger that Meruem would have no way of percieving, and can activate any of his Hatsu autonomously. If someone wished for Alluka to kill Meruem, Reactive Instincts would Unshackle and create a Perfect Clone immediately before he died, allowing him to escape unscathed.
Hideaway (Emission, Conjuration): Meruem creates a new space, 'layered' slightly off from regular reality, and tucks himself or something else there. Although he can still percieve his surroundings with En Photons, very few methods can locate or target something that doesn't exist within regular spacetime.
Sacrificial Exorcism (Emission, Specialization): If Meruem is affected with a Nen curse or similar affliction, he may transfer it to a willing target in the form of a disease. Although powerful curses may result in afflictions on the same level as what Gon suffered, they will never be fatal (though survival may become nearly impossible with something on that level). If the target retains the curse for at leas ten years, and is still loyal to Meruem, their death causes the curse to die with them.
Exotic Matter Manipulation (Transmutation, Manipulation): Although technically many hatsu, I decided to group these together. Using his knowledge of physics, Meruem can create unusual states of matter to perform incredible feats, like creating black holes to form stable wormholes, to using transmuted antimatter to convert matter into energy. Physicists could probably suggest more weird stuff. Many of these must be Unshackled to come into effect properly.
Identity Safeguard (Specialization, Emission): Tucked away in an emitted space is a copy of the concept that makes Meruem what he is. If this is damaged somehow, he can use his backup.
Matter Reconstruction (Manipulation, Transmutation, Emission): Meruem can manipulate matter he infuses his aura into, reconfiguring it into any form he desires. Unshackled, this can manipulate atoms, changing the elements of the matter he is working with.
Timestream Shift (Specialization): If multiple streams of time are occurring simultaneously, he can enter whichever he pleases. Against Netero, he could use this ability to match Netero's time compression.

These are my answers, and i'm pretty sure abt them all except the burette one and the air hole one 1ai) measuring cylinder ii) because pipette is used to measure 25 cm3 of liquid but here we only need 20cm3 of the acid iii) slowly pump up the liquid using pipette until it just reaches the 25cm3 mark point iv) burette is used to add the potassium manganate bi) the colour change is more easily observed in this reaction without an indicator (colorless to pink) bii) until we obtain at least two values which have a maximum difference of 0.2cm3
2a) just insert value in the table from the diagram ii) 6.5 degrees iii) the temperature decreases largely in the first 60 seconds and then slowly increases for the rest of the 240 seconds bi) 19.5 the temperature of the mixture would equillibriate and and eventually reach the room temperature (which is the initial temperature of the water) bii) it is stirred so the temperature is same throughout the mixture biii) endothermic, energy is absorbed as the temperature falls from 19.5 to 13.0, it means the reactants absorb energy from the surrounding and cool down ci) take the thermometer reading from eye level to avoid parallax error cii) the thermometer was touching the beaker improvement: make sure to hold the thermometer so it doesnt touch the bottom of the beaker and is measuring the temperature of mixture and not the beaker
3ai) the flame turns yellow ii) so that air can escape (?) iii) carbon dioxide gas is produced which means R has carbonate ions iv) white ppt forms bi) it does not have chloride, bromide or iodide ions bii) (dont remember the question or even whether there was any or not) ci) test: hold damp red litmus paper over the warmed mixture observation: litmus does NOT turn blue cii) sodium carbonate and sodium sulfate d) add dilute nitric acid and aqueous silver nitrate to P. Do the same with the aqueous potassium bromide and potassium chloride in seperate test tubes. Match color of the ppt formed in P with the two test tubes. dii) drew the diagram of conical flask connected to a delivery tube and gas syringe and another of a beaker of limewater with the gas syringe inserted into it explained that the gas is collected using the gas syringe and released into the limewater by dipping the gas syringe into it
4) measure a mass of copper(or was it calcium?) carbonate using top pan balance pour the measured mass into a conical flask and close it with air tight bung. through the gap in the bung, add excess acid and instantly connect it to a delivery tube attached to a gas syringe. make sure the bung is tightly attached to flasks opening so no gas escapes collect the gas

Younger hooper here, i am 175cm, 47 kg, im pretty fast and explosive with a 37 inch vert but very injury prone. I play the 1-2 position, mostly use change of pace, using a crossover or a pushcross to explode pass the defender and/or pull up into the midrange jumper.
I use my own insole(pic 3 n 4), something I recommend everyone to do, and recently got a full length carbon fiber insole.
What i want in a shoe that is low to the ground, has stability, is snug, wont slip out, good cushioning, and comfortable.
My favourite shoes all time are spo1+, kyrie 7, freak4 and kyrie infinity.
Poron Insole review: (US9.5) TTS Usage: 100+ hours (casually and on court) Tech: Poron on forefoot and heel, gel from heel to midfoot. Performance: Insole fits in all my shoes, provides better step in comfort, no arch support. The insole itself has good impact protection, but putting it in the shoe itself is hard because of the gel sticking to the inside of the shoe. Will try same shoe but with tpu plastic from heel to midfoot.
Result: A-
Carbon fiber insoles review:(US9.5) TTS Usage: 5 hours+ (casually) Tech: full length carbon fiber from heel to toe, poron in the heel. Bouncy rubber holds the carbon fiber in place, memory foam on top. Performance: Not much to say currently, will bring this on court soon but currently i am trying to break them in. Currently very comfortable, very bouncy but forefoot will hurt when you land, still has heel compression.
Result: N/A
When you buy the insole you get the size of the bigger size, ie eu43 has 44, eu 45 has 46
Doom GT Cut:(US9.5) TTS Usage: 10+ hours on outdoor and rubberized courts, not tried on wooden floors. Tech: React midsole with full length zoom stroble and thick zoom unit in the heel. Performance: This shoe is wow! Honestly I expected way less because of the reviews. The traction is incredible, never slipped out. Cushion is amazing! I had to replace the zoom strobel however because it deflated over time, within my second session(low rim dunk training). I would watch out for durability but these never caused any knee pain which is a plus in my book. The react midsole bottomed out quicky and molded to my footshape, no clue if retail does this. Lockdown is good, the tpu piece at the side helped with lateral movements. I never felts unstable in these. Pretty low to the ground. Comfort is another strong point, I would wear these casually.
Result: A
LeBron Next Gen EP:(US9.5) TTS/0.5 Usage: 20+ hours(outdoors, rubberized and wooden court) Tech: Phylon midsole with Zoom in the forefoot and heel. I loved this shoe because of its colour, but I feel that this is kind of a letdown but definitely a great shoe for outdoor hoopers. Traction is great outdoors and on rubberized courts but it slid out on wooden courts when i was doing crossovers and defending, which as a small and light guard is a huge no no. Cushion is the best part of the shoe, the zoom turbo in the forefoot is great underfoot, heel zoom unit feels great for comfort and impact protection. Definitely amazing for guards playing outdoors. Lockdown isn’t that good from side to side because of the materials making the side of your feet slightly over the base, making it feel like your hanging slightly and feels unstable. I want to say that the quality of the materials isn’t the best, and sometimes how the upper contains my foot makes the shoe feel bottom heavy and sluggish.
Result: B+
Son Of Flash: (US9.5)TTS Usage: 60+ hours all on outdoor court Tech: Two boom pods in heel and forefoot caged in cloud foam. Performance: This shoe is everything its meant for, definitely an outdoor beast. The traction is wearing away at hot spots already but for me to always reach for them before going out speaks for its performance. Traction sticks on concrete, no matter how dusty or rough, it never slipped out. Cushion is plush in the heel and reactive in the forefoot. You dont feel the boom underfoot but it does its job. Lockdown is great, it feels like a kyrie in terms of how it plays but one issue i have is that this is the only shoe ive sprained my ankle very badly in. I dont blame the shoe because my landing mechanics that day were slightly off because one defender kept going in my landing space but after the sprain i could never go 100% in them. This is another shoe i would rock casually, very comfortable and plays well outdoors.
Result: A+
All city 11:(US9) TTS Usage: 20+ hours(outdoors and rubberized courts) Tech: full length caged boom Performance: One thing i regret is not using them more, and getting my true size, this is the most kyrie feeling shoe after i trashed my kyrie 7 and infinity but i didnt like the fit being 0.5 size down. Traction is the same as the son of flash as it’s amazing on outdoors and rubberized courts. Cushion isnt very plush underfoot but its low to the ground and responsive, impact protection does makes me sluggish after more then 2 hours and makes me sore the next day, but great for outdoor players.
Result: A
Why Not 0.3 SE:(US9.5) go down 0.5 Usage: 10+ hours Tech: forefoot zoom turbo and phylon midsole Performance: This is one of the worse shoes I’ve tried. They are pretty stable and make me play fast but you need to have perfect body control to always land on your forefoot because the phylon at the back doesn’t absorb shit and you FEEL it in your knees when you land. Traction is decent outdoors but I wouldn’t use it outdoors, only rubberised courts and indoor, maybe light pickup to have fun, definitely not 4v4 half court or 5v5 full court. Fit is my favourite part of the shoe, wide foot friendly and super comfortable, materials are good too.
C+
WKB kobe 6(US9.5) TTS Usage:100+ hours on rubberized, outdoors and wooden courts. Tech: Zoom turbo in the forefoot and zoom unit in the heel, cushlon midsole Performance: These are my second favourite shoe, definitely will get more pairs once these completely die out. Traction is insane, no squeak but sticks and doesn’t collect dust. Cushion is very good also, I never felt sore after the game ever, it doesn’t help your bounce because it’s more like subtle in how it works. Lockdown and support is good, lateral support is excellent, but materials are stiff and doesn’t feel like retail. Anyone who gets this shoe I’d recommend wearing them around the house and double socking. This shit heats up, and break in time breaks your feet before the shoe breaks in.
Result: A+
Giannis Immortality: (US9) go TTS Usage:50+ hours Tech: phylon midsole Performance: lasted well before the cushion bottomed out, will probably get an insole for all my shoes that have no cushion so I can play in them. Traction is the best part of the shoe, sticks on wood, outdoors, rubberized, better then some of my retails, herringbone works guys. Cushion is decent but hurts my knees, don’t really recommend for anyone above 50 kg without a rotation. Materials is where it sucks, the upper tore in where my foot needs support the most and now I can feel it sometimes slightly tearing the more I play.
Result: D
DF kobe 5: Usage: 10+ hours on outdoor court. Tech: ??? All foam Performance: this is the worse shoe I own. Traction sucked even after cleaning but getting better slightly, cushion was okay for maybe 5 hours on court before it bottomed out, maybe an insole can fix it.
Result: F
Have not tried on Kai 1 or pg 6 but lemme just say Kai 1 is my favourite fitting shoe now, both are extremely comfortable, Kai 1 might be my new game day shoe
Ask any questions!

The garage door shut with a groan behind us, closing us in the gloom of the single bulb hanging over the car.
Mother took a drag off her cigarette and sighed as she exhaled, the smoke filled the cabin of the Ford and stung my eyes.
“You really disappointed me today, Julianne," she tapped her cigarette in the ashtray below the dash, "you embarrassed me in front of the other mothers at the Ice Cream Social, shoveling down seconds and thirds like a pig. I thought I raised you better than that.”
She took another drag, daintily holding the cigarette between her perfectly manicured fingers.
“I'm going to have to tell your brother about this," she continued, “he'll have to come up with a punishment fit for a pig."
I felt my stomach drop. My kid brother, Thomas, was only six, but could be exceptionally cruel. Mother seemed to encourage him and was deferring to him more and more frequently for how the house was run, especially concerning my upbringing.
"Mother, please, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you. I'm sorry I was a pig and ate so much ice cream. I promise I won't do it again, I'll never eat any ice cream again," I was pleading with stone, unyielding.
“Hush your mouth. Go to your room and wait for Thomas," she put out the cigarette and got out of the car, I had no choice but to follow.
It felt like walking to the gallows as I stepped inside the house and headed towards the stairs to go to my room. Thomas had grown fond recently of physical punishment, he obviously delighted in Mother whipping me with a belt or, recently, Mother had allowed him to start beating me with a wooden spoon. He would squeal and giggle like a normal child watching bubbles in the wind while I screamed. I was dreading whatever was going to happen tonight, I chastised myself for eating that ice cream, I should have known she would show up. My sins were always laid bare.
Down the hall, I could hear Thomas watching television in the den. I only got to watch TV for half an hour on Saturday morning and new episodes of Happy Days with Mother and Thomas. Thomas got to watch all the TV he wanted. He could listen to the radio and turntable as much as he wanted, as loud as he wanted. Thomas had an entire room just for his toys.
I entered my bedroom, it was a space I occupied, but it didn't feel like mine. Mother kept it spartan, white walls and white bedspread. A crucifix over the bed and a painting of Jesus over the door. I had my desk and chair and a dresser with some of the porcelain dolls Daddy gave me before he died that Mother let me keep. That was it.
I placed my book bag down and sat on my bed, waiting for Thomas. It was a while, sitting there with nothing but my own thoughts and staring at the open door. I felt humiliated, I was almost thirteen and my entire life was dictated by my brother. Mother kept the house in constant lockdown to keep Thomas a secret. No outsiders were allowed in. I couldn't have friends because she was afraid I would mention him or sneak a friend in to gawk at my brother and tease him for being different.
I would never make fun of him, I was terrified of him. Terrified of what he was and what he was becoming.
Eventually I heard his heavy footsteps coming up the stairs and I felt my heart start beating faster and my palms began to sweat. I kneaded my skirt in my hands, trying to calm myself and dry my palms. His slow arrhythmic footsteps came down the hall and I watched him as he entered the room.
I couldn't help but internally recoil at his appearance, even though I'd known him since he was born, I could never adjust to how unnatural he appeared. Thomas had been born at home and had never seen a doctor, but he was obviously unwell.
He was six years old and was barely over two feet tall, but very squat and wide. His skin was thick and gray, the whites of his beady eyes were yellow and his hair was wispy and white like an old man's, spreading out like a halo around his gargoyle face. A slight odor of decomposition hung about him, it reminded me faintly of garbage cans on a hot summer day. I hated when Mother made me help him with a bath, his skin felt like old brittle leather that flaked onto my clothes in gray flecks. His body was dense like concrete, I could barely lift him into the tub. Picking him up forced his hair into my face where that smell of rot would fill my nose, causing me to gag, silently, so as not to offend him and draw any ire from him or Mother.
Today, Thomas was wearing bib overalls with a red and green striped sweater underneath, reminding me of a grotesque doll.
“Mama says you acted like a piggy today at the ice cream social,” he spoke up to me in his unsettlingly high pitched, yet raspy voice, like a child that smoked as much as Mother, "you need to come down for dinner right now for your punishment for embarrassing Mama."
He turned and walked back down the stairs and I had no choice but to follow his toddling form downstairs to the dining table. We entered the kitchen and the table was placed with two settings. Mother was already seated and Thomas clambered up into his booster seat at his normal spot next to Mother. She took a drag off her cigarette and motioned vaguely to the floor without even looking at me.
Neatly situated on the linoleum was my dinner, not on a plate, but directly on the floor. A pork chop, scoop of mashed potatoes, and a small pile of peas. No utensils, either.
Thomas giggled with glee upon seeing my face.
“You have Mama's permission now to eat like a piggy, now. No hands! Piggies just use their face!” He stood up in his chair and reached out for Mother’s ash tray and flung it out over my meal, peppering my dinner with cigarette ash and butts.
"Oops! Piggies don't mind trash though, do they, Mama?” he giggled and the sound filled me with rage.
"No, they don't,” Mother replied coolly while maneuvering her ashtray back in place and carefully putting out her cigarette before saying prayer.
As angry as I was, I got down on my hands and knees and did my best at eating what I could without using my hands. I knew if I refused, it would be far worse. The whole meal, Thomas made pig noises and would reach down and poke me with his fork, making comments about what a fat piggy I was and how he wished he could roast and eat me. I doubted Mother would even object if he actually did kill me and eat me.
Gagging my way through another bite of ashy pork chop, I felt a warm splat over my head and heard Thomas giggling. I reached up and felt he had dumped mashed potatoes into my hair.
Choking down tears, I asked Mother if I could clean the floor and bathe. She rolled her eyes and excused me to clear the table for them as well while she changed Thomas into his pajamas. Picking him up, she walked out of the room and Thomas stuck his putrid little purple tongue out at me before they made it out the kitchen door.
I silently cried while I cleared the table and washed the dinner dishes. Tears splashed down as I mopped up the mess from my food on the floor. I hated how awful Thomas was. I hated how they treated me. Ever since Daddy died and Thomas showed up, I was their punching bag. I missed Daddy so much.
Mother was kinder then, too. She was still severe, but Dad kept her tempered. After he died, there was a change that came over her. I was only six, so I didn't remember her too much from before, but I did remember her gushing on and on when she was pregnant with Thomas. How the baby was a gift from Our Heavenly Father, that it was going to complete our broken family.
My sixth birthday happened right after Daddy died and I remember sitting on the patio crying while the house was full of people after the funeral, normally he would have gotten me a new doll and a chocolate bar, instead I was forgotten. No doll. No chocolate. Just funeral potatoes and a house full of cigarette smoke from the adults.
Nobody remembered. The closest thing I got was my dad's sister, Aunt Judy, sitting next to me on the patio step for a few minutes of comfortable silence before giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. I don't think she knew her brother was memorialized on my birthday. Next year, Thomas was born the day before my birthday, so it was completely eclipsed as Mother had just birthed her new love into the world…
I stopped mid mop as a lightbulb finally went off. I had never put much thought into the dates before.
Thomas was born a full year after Daddy died. He couldn't be his dad. Who was Thomas’ actual father?
Washing mashed potatoes out of my hair that evening, I ran over and over the timeline. No matter how I parsed it out, Thomas was only my half brother. Going to bed that night, I kept myself awake, going over and over again to make sure. I couldn't remember any men being around at that time, but that didn't mean much. Adults can easily hide things from children. Tension began throbbing through my head and I felt queasy. Mother had always known all of my secrets, able to sniff them out like a bloodhound out or using Thomas to spy. Now I had one of Mother's secrets and I didn't know what to do with it.
First I wanted to confirm it, but it would mean snooping, which was difficult in a house that was rarely left empty. I would have to try finding Mother's calendar book or journal to see if she mentioned any dates or men.
But when could I attempt such a daring maneuver? Thomas hardly left the house. As proud as Mother was of him, she was very cognizant and protective of his differences and didn't want to draw attention to herself or Thomas like that. Mother herself had few social engagements throughout the week and mostly stayed home to watch her golden child.
I finally decided I would take the risk and fake sick on Tuesday, grocery day, so I could stay home from school while she went shopping. All Thomas did all day was watch TV downstairs, so that should give me about an hour to look through her room for clues. I decided to tuck my head down, try to behave as best as I could to avoid their wrath, and wait for Tuesday.
That weekend limped along agonizingly slow. Thomas was in a fine mood and was constantly seeking out a reason to poke me, punch me, slap me… he'd laugh while calling me a piggy with his off-putting wide mouth. I tried to mostly stay in my room and it seemed like neither of them cared.
School on Monday was a relief, but my anxiety ramped up. The consequences would be dire if Mother caught on that I was faking sick to stay home. I didn't even want to imagine how off the leash she'd let my half-brother become in his punishment for that level of insubordination.
I stayed up all night, my stomach was in knots, but I was committed to my plan. Throughout the night, I screamed as hard as I could into my pillow. Screamed until my throat was raw and I could barely talk. It felt cathartic in a way. When it was close to school time, I put on my heaviest flannel pajamas and began doing jumping jacks until my face was flushed and my scalp was soaked with sweat.
Looking in the bathroom mirror before heading down to talk to Mother, I thought I looked pretty convincing, my skin was flushed and sweaty, my eyes had circles under them from lack of sleep, and my voice croaked like a frog.
Heading downstairs, Mother was already feeding Thomas breakfast. I hesitantly stepped into the kitchen and stood there awkwardly for a second, pawing with my pajamas to keep my nerves steady until she noticed my presence and looked up.
“Why aren't you dressed, Julianne?"
"I don't feel well. My throat hurts and my tummy hurts.” My voice graveled out more than I was expecting, I really had hurt my throat.
She strode over to me and placed a cool hand on my sweaty brow.
"You do feel warm. Take an aspirin from the medicine cabinet and go lay back down. I'll check on you later," with that she turned back and walked over to Thomas, who was frozen in place, glaring at me over a forkful of scrambled eggs. The sharp glint of malice in his beady eyes made me shiver before I shuffled out of the kitchen.
I laid in bed, trying my best to look miserable until I eventually heard the faint sound of the television playing in the den as Thomas settled in for his normal daytime routine and the garage door opened as Mother headed to the grocery store. I bounded out of bed and watched the car back out of our driveway and head up the street.
My heart began to pound as I tiptoed down the hall to Mother's bedroom, a place I rarely even caught a glimpse of, let alone entered. I very slowly opened the door, taking great care to not make any noise to alert Thomas downstairs that I was out of bed.
Creeping into the butter yellow room, I could feel my heartbeat pounding in my skull, this was the naughtiest thing I had ever done by far. I stepped onto the rug to help disguise my footsteps and slowly made my way past the brass bed and towards her desk. My hands shook as I opened the top drawer, I pawed through rapidly and found nothing. I checked the next drawer down and again found nothing of interest, just stationary and envelopes.
Finally, the bottom drawer was what I was looking for, a stack of journals from the past decade. I flipped through, trying to find entries relevant to when Daddy died and who Mother slept with afterwards.
I've never fully recovered from what I read.
July 6, 1968
Edgar died today. Car accident. I cannot believe this is real. My light, my life, my anchor... Dr. Benson gave me a sedative at the hospital and I feel so tired. So very, very tired. Why has my Lord forsaken me so?
July 9, 1968
I feel like I am in a very bad dream, I feel numb and disconnected. All the consolation and pity from everyone makes me feel sick. After the memorial, it took everything in me to not break dishes and to scream at everyone to get out of my house. Julianne was moping about crying and I wanted to throw her out, too.
If I hadn't seen my dear Edgar's body in the hospital and held his urn in my own hands, I wouldn't believe he was really gone. I still don't entirely believe it.
I have prayed to God every night asking him to show me why he took my husband from me and I have gotten no answer.
I skimmed over the next few months, as it was more or less similar sentiments repeated night after night. I finally got to an entry that caught my eye.
September 17, 1968
My battle with my faith has been fraught the past few months, but Hallelujah! I feel I can see the Lord again in all his glory and might, for he has given me a way to reconnect to my Edgar!
I was thinking about the night Julianne was born, right in this very home, it was a difficult birth and she struggled to breathe at first. Ingrid, my midwife, made a comment to me that if the baby had failed to wake up on her own, that Ingrid had ways to make sure she would have made it.
I remember asking if it was a medical methodology and she made it clear to me that in certain circumstances, it was a mystical property she used to bring the air of life into a struggling baby's lungs. She gently alluded to being a practicing member of the dark arts. At the time, I felt quite scandalized to have someone like that in my God fearing home. Now I see her as the answer to my prayers! My angel!
On a whim, I called her and asked if she still practiced such techniques. She hesitantly confirmed that she did. I asked, if she could turn breath into the lungs of a child without, could she turn breath into a child that did not exist? Could she magick into existence another child of my beloved Edgar? She told me she had to do some research and she'd be back in touch.
Ingrid just called back after a few hours and said there was a spell she found, but it was dangerous and might have unpleasant results. I said, yes, of course! I trust my Lord and I believe he sent this woman of blessed magick to me for this purpose.
She says we will have to do it soon, in a few days during the new moon. She has a potion to brew, but it is happening! Praise God!
September 23, 1968
The ceremony was last night, and Ingrid believes it was a success, but we will have to wait. It did not take long, only an hour or two. Ingrid lit my bedroom with many beeswax candles and she had me drink a thick and bitter tea that caused me to become quite relaxed and foggy.
From my inner thigh, she cut me and collected my blood in a chalice, with which she mixed quite a lot of Edgar's ashes and other ingredients which I could not glean from my supine position and groggy wits. Ingrid began to chant, calling upon a higher power, as I pleaded with my Lord to let this work. To give me any piece of my Edgar back. She came to the bed and worked the paste between my legs into my womanly chamber, which was very uncomfortable, but manageable with the numbing effects of the tea.
She continued to sit with me and chant, her hand placed over my womb, until she decided at which time it was complete. She left and I fell into a deep sleep. When I woke up this morning, I felt quite uncomfortable, my body ached and when I used the restroom, a yellow fluid like pus poured out of me, but no sign of any ashes or blood, which gives me hope it was absorbed into my womb.
November 3, 1968
Praise be to our Lord, Ingrid just confirmed for me that I am with child, I had been hoping so, I had not gotten my cycle in October, but I wasn't sure if that was because of the discharge like pus that was still coming. She told me that was common with this spell and a side effect that would stop after the baby came.
I feel like I am floating on air, for the first time since Edgar left, I feel-
I suddenly became very aware of the feeling of eyes on the back of my head. I had become too engrossed in what was written before me and I had lost track of my surroundings. Very slowly, I turned around and my heart began pounding again as I saw Thomas standing in the doorway holding his wooden spoon in one hand. How had I not heard him?
He pointed at me with his empty hand and screamed, just a pure guttural screech from somewhere deep inside his disgusting little body. He charged at me from across the room, his horrible feet thumping solidly along the rug. He began beating my legs ruthlessly with the spoon, causing my legs to buckle. I crashed down to my knees in front of him, and he began lashing at my face, pulling my hair with one hand while wailing away at my head with the spoon.
I had dropped the journal I was holding and was desperately trying to get a hand on the spoon or push him away. All I could hear was him screaming. My arms flailed and I reached around on Mother's desk and grabbed onto the first thing I found and sank it into Thomas’ neck.
The end of Mother's gold letter opener protruded under his jaw. He went silent and he looked at me with utter shock. He dropped the spoon and collapsed on the ground, clutching at his neck as his thick black blood oozed out from his wound, letting out a stupendous odor of rot that filled the room. He didn't really say anything or make any noise. He just twitched for a moment and I saw his eyes glaze over.
In shock, I stood over his little body for a moment and I watched as he seemed to mummify in just a few minutes, like an ash person from Pompeii dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt. Even his blood that looked like shiny oil a second ago became like potting soil on Mother's rug. Reaching out to touch his hand, it crumbled away like sand.
Panic ran through me like a rabbit caught in a snare. Not knowing what to do, I ran. I ran down the hall, changed my clothes, put an extra change of clothes in my backpack and the last doll Daddy had ever given me and I ran. Mother would absolutely never forgive me and I was genuinely afraid she would kill me in retaliation for taking her beloved Thomas away from her. Her precious gift from God. My feet flew over the pavement and took me away from that house.
I called my Aunt Judy from a payphone outside the five & dime, and told her Mother had kicked me out and asked if I could stay with her. She had always had a strained relationship with my mother and it didn't take much convincing that she had kicked out her “only” child. Only Mother, Ingrid, and I ever knew about Thomas.
She gave me a home and took care of me. She never beat me or humiliated me. Even with her love, I was far from okay. For years I would close my eyes and hear Thomas scream, then the sudden silence. I'd see him fumbling at his neck and turning to ash. But I would also remember all the ways he would hurt me and how bad he was becoming. I could never talk to anyone about it, especially not the silent relief I felt I refused to admit to myself. Over time, however, Thomas' screams became a whisper and his silence faded into dust in my mind.
I moved on with my life. I went to college and became a photojournalist, getting to travel the world and watch history unfold. By choice, I never married, but was quite blessed with many beautiful friendships for companionship over the decades. I found balance in my life and a sense of happiness, if not peace. I never could quite stomach mashed potatoes again, though, they always taste ashy to me.
Mother never made any attempts to reach out to me or find me, at least that I'm aware of. Ten years ago, I was contacted by a hospital and they said my mother had been admitted earlier after falling and was about to pass, so she must have kept some tabs on me to know my phone number for her emergency contacts. Apparently she had collapsed in the driveway and a neighbor called an ambulance. I got there and her only words to me were, “take care of him," as she placed a locket in my hand. I opened the locket, Jesus was on one side, Thomas on the other. I didn't say anything to her, just held her frail old hand with nicotine stained nails until she passed in the night. My mother was gone and I felt nothing except a vague sense of relief.
When I got to her house, it was like a time capsule. Other than a newer television, it was just like it was when I'd fled so many years ago. The smell of tobacco smoke hung like incense in the air. It felt oppressive, like a tomb.
I wandered the house in a bit of a daze. The one place I didn't want to go was upstairs. I didn't want to see my old room, or Thomas' room, or Mother's. Putting it off, I went to fix myself some supper, realizing I hadn't eaten in almost a day. I took a pause when I opened the fridge and saw a baby bottle on a shelf. Silently praying she had been babysitting for a neighbor, I fixed myself some toast with sardines and sat eating in the den watching TV. It had been almost forty years and it still felt rebellious not eating at the table and watching TV without permission.
My eyes grew heavy and I finally mustered up the gumption to head upstairs to go to bed. The stairs creaked in a familiar way under my feet and I was taken back to the feeling of dread hearing either Mother or Thomas climbing up. My old room was at the top of the stairs, I saw the door was nailed shut and had rambling quotes about Judas copied from the Bible in my mother's handwriting taped to the door. I sighed gently and turned from the door to head down the hallway, deciding Mother's room was probably the best place to sleep.
I passed by Thomas’ toy room and I heard a murmur from the room. I stopped, curiosity got the best of me and I entered. In Thomas' old toy room was a crib with joyful clown sheets. Dread swelled up inside me as I heard more murmurs and saw the sheets move. Approaching slowly, I peaked under the sheet and gasped.
Tucked inside was what looked like a baby gargoyle, gray and papery looking. Pus leaked out of its milky, bulbous eyes. I pulled back the blanket and saw it had no legs and its arms bent back, like wings on a bird. It was wearing just a cloth diaper, overflowing with tarry looking stool that took my breath away with its pungency, it smelled like Thomas’ blood, but somehow worse. My heart broke for this poor creature, Lord only knows how many years it has been in this crib suffering from its unholy existence.
So this is who Mother had wanted me to take care of…
Not knowing what else to do, I gently scooped him up. Like Thomas, he was shockingly heavy for how small his body was. Placing him on the changing table, I cleaned him and rewrapped his bottom in a clean diaper cloth. It was difficult, he fussed tremendously, crying and flopping around as much as his flipper-like arms would allow. I tried wiping off his oozing eyes and he snapped his mouth, which I saw was full of disturbingly square yellow teeth, trying to bite me. I carried him to the kitchen and rocked him while I heated up his bottle and he became furious with me, almost barking like a dog when my hand would get near his face.
He settled a bit as he fed, but he would still sometimes suddenly spit out the bottle and attempt to bite me. I laid him back in his crib, this abomination in a clown sheet, and I walked down the hall to Mother's room letting out a long sigh.
Combing through my mother's journals in the early hours of the morning, it looked like she tried the ceremony again shortly after Thomas died, but she either lacked Ingrid’s help or didn't have enough of my father's ashes left. Something went terribly wrong. She was vaguer than she had been about Thomas’ conception, but I suspect she had used some of Thomas' remains. The resulting birth she named Isaac.
Mother's journals told a sad tale of her and Isaac's suffering. She never mentioned me, but lamented the loss of Thomas and Dad relentlessly. She was hyper protective of Isaac, as that was all she had left. If her world had been small before, it became microscopic after he entered her life, requiring nearly constant care. According to Mother, he was blind and colicky, sometimes going years at a time without sleeping through the night. She had breast fed him for years, but she had to stop after he grew teeth and began biting her intentionally and feeding on her blood.
I spent a lot of time over the next few days pondering what to do. I had to get her estate in order, she had left me the house, in an obvious attempt to get me to continue caretaking for Isaac, but I didn't want it. I had my own cozy home an hour away from here, filled with happy memories and my possessions acquired traveling the world. Mother's home had a heavy energy I couldn't shake. Her and Thomas were both gone, but the memories of the scoldings and beatings hung in every corner, like cobwebs that would never sweep away.
So, I fed Isaac and kept him clean and tried to keep him company, although he seemed to hate me passionately. I took care of him, all the while thinking about what I was going to do. After a week, I felt resolute in what had to be done.
Gathering up all of Mother's journals in a tote, I made my way to Isaac and picked him up and carried everything to the living room.
The ancient logs in the fireplace meant for display ignited instantly. One by one, I fed the journals into the fire, burning away years of my mother's consuming sorrow. Isaac fussed and moaned next to me the entire time. When the last pages shimmered away into lacy ash, I took a throw pillow off the couch and gently cradled Isaac in my other arm. It didn't take long before he stopped struggling and I felt his little body relax after decades of suffering.
I gently wrapped up a bundle in a clown sheet and placed it in the fire. It burned furiously, like the paper in my mother's journals, and was soon gone. Nothing but ashes and embers.
“Don't worry, Mother,” I said purely for my own sake, "I took care of Isaac for you."
And finally, I felt at peace.

Adopting a healthy eating lifestyle is a transformative journey that can lead to a more vibrant, energetic, and resilient life. This comprehensive article provides a roadmap for incorporating nutritious whole foods into a balanced diet. Readers will discover simple tips and delicious recipes to build a foundation for optimal nutrition and well-being.
In this guide, we'll explore the importance of healthy eating, the benefits of a balanced diet, and strategies for overcoming common obstacles. You'll learn how to create plant-based meals that are satisfying and nutrient-dense, as well as how to manage food allergies and intolerances. Additionally, we'll delve into the principles of clean eating and the role of weight management through mindful consumption.
Whether you're seeking to improve your energy levels, reduce your risk of chronic diseases, or simply cultivate a more vibrant, healthy lifestyle, this article will empower you to make sustainable changes that will positively impact your overall well-being.
Sign up Here for 32 FREE Healthy Meal Plans With Low Calories and High Protein!

Key Takeaways

• Discover the importance of incorporating nutritious whole foods into a balanced diet.
• Learn strategies for building a balanced plate that promotes satiety and sustained energy.
• Explore the benefits of plant-based diets and the nutrient-dense properties of various whole food options.
• Understand the significance of mindful eating and portion control for achieving a healthy lifestyle.
• Gain insights into managing food allergies and intolerances through adaptable recipes and dietary adjustments.

Understanding the Importance of Healthy Eating

Maintaining a healthy eating lifestyle is crucial for overall well-being. A balanced diet rich in whole foods, plant-based options, and organic ingredients can provide a myriad of benefits that extend far beyond physical health. By embracing clean eating habits and adhering to dietary guidelines, individuals can experience enhanced energy levels, improved weight management, and a reduced risk of chronic diseases.
Full Meals and More Healthy Diet Tips Here!

Benefits of a Balanced Diet

A balanced diet that incorporates a variety of nutrient-dense foods can have a profound impact on an individual's health and wellness. Such a diet not only supports weight management but also contributes to better cardiovascular health, improved cognitive function, and a stronger immune system. Moreover, a plant-based approach to eating can help mitigate the risk of food allergies and intolerances, allowing individuals to enjoy a wider range of delicious and nutritious options.
Sign up Here for 32 FREE Healthy Meal Plans With Low Calories and High Protein!

Overcoming Obstacles to Healthy Eating

Despite the numerous advantages of healthy eating, individuals often face various obstacles that can hinder their ability to adopt and maintain a balanced diet. Common challenges include time constraints, budget concerns, and a lack of knowledge about whole foods and clean eating principles. However, with the right strategies and resources, these barriers can be overcome. By planning meals, exploring affordable nutrient-rich options, and expanding their culinary skills, individuals can seamlessly integrate healthy eating habits into their daily lives.
Sign up Here for 32 FREE Healthy Meal Plans With Low Calories and High Protein!

Benefits of a Balanced Diet	Overcoming Obstacles to Healthy Eating
Improved energy levels Better weight management Reduced risk of chronic diseases Enhanced mental clarity Mitigation of food allergies and intolerances	Time constraints Budget concerns Lack of knowledge about whole foods and clean eating Strategies for cost-effective meal planning Exploration of affordable nutrient-rich options

Building a Balanced Plate

Creating a well-rounded, nutritious meal is the foundation of a healthy eating lifestyle. When building a balanced plate, it's essential to focus on including protein-rich foods, fiber-filled vegetables and fruits, and whole grains to ensure your body receives a comprehensive array of essential nutrients.

Protein-Rich Foods for Satiety

Incorporating protein-rich foods into your meals can help promote a sense of fullness and satisfaction, preventing overeating and supporting your weight management goals. Opt for lean sources of protein such as chicken, fish, legumes, tofu, and eggs to create meals that are both nourishing and satisfying.

Fiber-Filled Vegetables and Fruits

Filling your plate with an abundance of fiber-rich vegetables and fruits is a key component of a balanced diet. These plant-based foods are loaded with essential vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants that support overall health and well-being. Aim to include a variety of colorful produce, such as leafy greens, bell peppers, berries, and citrus fruits, to ensure you're getting a diverse range of nutrients.
Sign up Here for 32 FREE Healthy Meal Plans With Low Calories and High Protein!

Whole Grains for Sustained Energy

Incorporating whole grains into your meals can provide a steady stream of energy throughout the day, helping to prevent mid-afternoon slumps. Opt for whole wheat bread, brown rice, quinoa, and oats to reap the benefits of complex carbohydrates, fiber, and other essential nutrients that support your overall nutrition and clean eating habits.

Healthy Eating: Tips and Strategies

Incorporating healthy eating into your daily routine doesn't have to be an overwhelming task. By embracing practical tips and strategies, you can seamlessly integrate nutritious whole foods into your lifestyle and reap the numerous benefits of a balanced diet. This section delves into the key elements of successful healthy eating, empowering you to make sustainable changes for a healthier, more vibrant life.

Meal Planning and Preparation

Planning and preparing your meals in advance is a game-changer when it comes to healthy eating. By dedicating a bit of time each week to menu planning, grocery shopping, and meal prepping, you can ensure that nutritious, whole foods are readily available, reducing the temptation to reach for less healthy options. Experiment with plant-based recipes and organic ingredients to create balanced, flavorful meals that nourish your body and satisfy your taste buds.

Reading Food Labels

Navigating the aisles of the grocery store can be a daunting task, especially when it comes to identifying healthy, minimally processed foods. Develop the habit of carefully reading food labels to make informed choices. Look for products with a short list of recognizable, whole food ingredients and minimal added sugars, sodium, and unhealthy fats. By becoming a savvy label reader, you can easily spot clean eating options that align with your dietary goals and nutrition needs.
Sign up Here for 32 FREE Healthy Meal Plans With Low Calories and High Protein!

Healthy Eating Tip	Benefit
Meal Planning and Preparation	Ensures the availability of nutritious, whole foods, reducing the temptation for less healthy options.
Reading Food Labels	dietary guidelinesweight managementHelps you identify clean, minimally processed food choices that support your and goals.

Incorporating Whole, Plant-Based Foods

Embracing a diet rich in whole, plant-based foods is a cornerstone of a healthy eating lifestyle. These nutrient-dense options not only provide essential vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants, but they also offer a wealth of benefits for overall well-being.

Benefits of Plant-Based Diets

Research has consistently shown that plant-based diets can have a positive impact on heart health, weight management, and environmental sustainability. By focusing on a variety of whole, plant-based foods such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, nuts, and seeds, individuals can lower their risk of chronic diseases, achieve a healthier weight, and reduce their carbon footprint.
Sign up Here for 32 FREE Healthy Meal Plans With Low Calories and High Protein!

Nutrient-Dense Whole Foods

Whole, plant-based foods are packed with essential nutrients that support a balanced diet. From fiber-rich leafy greens to antioxidant-dense berries, these nutrient-dense options provide the body with the necessary building blocks for optimal health. By incorporating a diverse array of whole foods into their meals, individuals can ensure they are meeting their nutritional needs while enjoying the flavors and textures of a clean eating lifestyle.

Nutrient-Dense Whole Foods	Key Nutrients	Health Benefits
Leafy Greens (Spinach, Kale, Arugula)	Vitamins A, C, K, Folate, Calcium, Iron	Promote eye health, support a healthy immune system, and aid in maintaining strong bones.
Berries (Blueberries, Raspberries, Strawberries)	Antioxidants, Vitamin C, Fiber	Help fight inflammation, improve brain function, and support a healthy heart.
Whole Grains (Brown Rice, Quinoa, Oats)	Complex Carbohydrates, Fiber, B Vitamins	balanced dietProvide sustained energy, promote digestive health, and contribute to a .
Legumes (Lentils, Chickpeas, Black Beans)	Protein, Fiber, Iron, Folate	managing food allergiesSupport weight management, aid in , and help maintain stable blood sugar levels.

By embracing the versatility and nutrient density of whole, plant-based foods, individuals can create healthy eating habits that nourish the body and support long-term well-being.

Mindful Eating and Portion Control

Achieving a balanced lifestyle encompasses more than just the foods we consume. It also involves cultivating a mindful approach to our eating habits. Mindful eating encourages us to become more aware of hunger cues, savor each bite, and practice moderation to prevent overeating. By fostering this mindful relationship with our meals, we can develop a healthier and more sustainable relationship with food.
Sign up Here for 32 FREE Healthy Meal Plans With Low Calories and High Protein!
One of the key strategies for mindful eating is to slow down and be present during mealtimes. Rather than rushing through our meals or multitasking while we eat, we should take the time to appreciate the flavors, textures, and aromas of our food. This heightened awareness not only enhances the enjoyment of our meals but also allows us to better recognize when we have reached a state of fullness, preventing us from consuming more than our bodies need.
Portion control is another essential aspect of mindful eating and healthy living. Overeating, even of nutritious whole foods, can lead to weight gain and other health concerns. By being mindful of our portion sizes and focusing on balanced plates that incorporate a variety of plant-based foods, lean proteins, and whole grains, we can ensure that our bodies receive the necessary nutrients without consuming excessive calories.
Implementing practical strategies, such as using smaller plates, eating slowly, and listening to internal hunger and fullness cues, can help us cultivate a more mindful approach to eating. This, in turn, can lead to sustainable weight management, improved digestion, and a greater sense of overall well-being.
By embracing mindful eating and portion control, we can unlock the full benefits of a healthy, balanced lifestyle. This holistic approach to food consumption not only nourishes our bodies but also fosters a deeper appreciation for the joy and satisfaction that can be found in every bite.
Sign up Here for 32 FREE Healthy Meal Plans With Low Calories and High Protein!

Managing Food Allergies and Intolerances

Navigating a healthy eating lifestyle can pose unique challenges for individuals with food allergies or intolerances. However, with the right strategies and a little creativity, it is possible to enjoy a balanced diet while effectively managing these dietary restrictions.

Identifying Allergens and Triggers

The first step in managing food allergies and intolerances is to identify the specific ingredients or foods that trigger adverse reactions. Common allergens include gluten, dairy, nuts, soy, and shellfish, while intolerances may be linked to lactose, fructose, or histamine. By being mindful of these triggers, individuals can make informed choices when selecting and preparing meals.

Adapting Recipes for Special Diets

Adapting recipes to accommodate food allergies or intolerances is essential for maintaining a balanced, plant-based diet. This may involve substituting whole food, organic ingredients for traditional allergens or using specialized alternatives, such as gluten-free flours or non-dairy milk. By experimenting with ingredient swaps and exploring clean eating techniques, individuals can discover a world of delicious and nutritious meal options that align with their dietary needs.
Through a thoughtful and proactive approach, individuals with food allergies or intolerances can navigate the complexities of healthy eating and enjoy a wide variety of whole foods while maintaining their overall well-being.
Sign up Here for 32 FREE Healthy Meal Plans With Low Calories and High Protein!

Clean Eating: Minimizing Processed Foods

In the pursuit of a healthy eating lifestyle, one crucial aspect to consider is the minimization of processed and packaged foods. The clean eating movement emphasizes the importance of consuming whole, minimally processed ingredients to maximize the nutritional value of our meals.

Recognizing Unhealthy Additives

When it comes to clean eating, it's essential to be aware of the common additives and preservatives found in many processed foods. These can include artificial colorings, flavors, and sweeteners, as well as preservatives like sodium nitrite and trans fats. By learning to identify these unhealthy additives, you can make more informed choices and avoid products that may compromise your balanced diet.

Organic and Local Food Options

Incorporating organic and locally sourced whole foods into your healthy eating routine can have numerous benefits. Organic produce and products are typically free from synthetic pesticides and hormones, and they often contain a higher concentration of nutrient-dense compounds. Additionally, supporting local farmers and producers not only reduces your carbon footprint but also provides access to fresh, seasonal offerings that are rich in plant-based goodness.
By prioritizing clean eating and minimizing the consumption of processed foods, you can unlock a world of whole, natural ingredients that nourish your body and support your overall weight management and wellness goals. Embrace the simplicity and vibrant flavors of clean, whole-food eating for a balanced, healthy lifestyle.
Sign up Here for 32 FREE Healthy Meal Plans With Low Calories and High Protein!

Weight Management Through Healthy Eating

Achieving and maintaining a healthy weight is an integral part of a balanced healthy eating lifestyle. By understanding the principles of calorie density and macronutrient balance, individuals can make informed choices to support their weight management goals.

Calorie Density and Satiety

The concept of calorie density refers to the number of calories per gram of a particular food. Whole, plant-based foods such as fruits, vegetables, and whole grains tend to have a lower calorie density, meaning you can consume a larger volume of these foods without exceeding your daily calorie needs. This can lead to a greater sense of satiety, or feeling full and satisfied, which can support sustainable weight management.

Balancing Macronutrients

In addition to considering calorie density, it's important to focus on balancing the three macronutrients: protein, carbohydrates, and fats. Each macronutrient plays a crucial role in maintaining healthy eating habits and supporting weight management. By incorporating a mix of lean proteins, complex carbohydrates, and healthy fats into your meals and snacks, you can help regulate your appetite, stabilize blood sugar levels, and fuel your body with the necessary nutrients for overall well-being.
Sign up Here for 32 FREE Healthy Meal Plans With Low Calories and High Protein!

Healthy Eating on a Budget

Maintaining a healthy eating lifestyle doesn't have to break the bank. With strategic planning and savvy shopping, it's entirely possible to enjoy a balanced, nutrient-rich diet while staying within your budget. In this section, we'll explore cost-effective meal planning strategies and highlight affordable whole food options to help you achieve your healthy eating goals without straining your finances.

Cost-Effective Meal Planning

One of the keys to healthy eating on a budget is mastering the art of meal planning. By taking the time to plan your meals and create a grocery list, you can avoid impulse purchases and make the most of your food budget. Start by identifying affordable, nutrient-dense ingredients that can be incorporated into a variety of recipes. Batch cooking and freezing portions can also help you maximize your time and money, ensuring you always have healthy options on hand.
Another practical tip is to embrace the versatility of plant-based whole foods. Beans, lentils, and whole grains are not only budget-friendly, but they also provide a wealth of essential nutrients, fiber, and complex carbohydrates to keep you feeling full and energized. By making these nutrient-dense foods the foundation of your meals, you can stretch your grocery budget while nourishing your body.
Sign up Here for 32 FREE Healthy Meal Plans With Low Calories and High Protein!

Affordable Nutrient-Rich Foods

When it comes to healthy eating on a budget, there are numerous nutrient-rich foods that won't break the bank. Some of the most affordable and nutritious options include:

• Frozen vegetables and fruits: These nutrient-packed options are often more affordable than their fresh counterparts, and they have an extended shelf life, reducing food waste.
• Eggs: A versatile and protein-rich ingredient, eggs are an excellent source of nutrients and a cost-effective addition to any meal.
• Canned fish: Canned tuna, salmon, and sardines are budget-friendly sources of lean protein and healthy omega-3 fatty acids.
• Oats: A whole grain powerhouse, oats are inexpensive, filling, and can be used in a variety of dishes, from breakfast to baked goods.
• Legumes: Beans, lentils, and chickpeas are nutrient-dense, fiber-rich, and incredibly affordable, making them a staple in any healthy eating plan.

By incorporating these affordable, nutrient-rich foods into your meal planning, you can enjoy a balanced, healthy diet without breaking the bank.

Affordable Whole Food	Nutritional Benefits	Average Cost per Serving
Frozen Broccoli	High in fiber, vitamins C and K, and antioxidants	$0.50 per serving
Eggs	Excellent source of protein, vitamin D, and choline	$0.25 per egg
Canned Tuna	Rich in lean protein and omega-3 fatty acids	$1.00 per 2-ounce serving
Rolled Oats	High in fiber, complex carbohydrates, and B vitamins	$0.10 per 1/2 cup serving
Lentils	Packed with protein, fiber, and essential minerals	$0.20 per 1/2 cup serving

Sign up Here for 32 FREE Healthy Meal Plans With Low Calories and High Protein!
By incorporating these affordable, nutrient-rich whole foods into your healthy eating plan, you can enjoy a balanced diet without straining your budget. With a little creativity and strategic planning, maintaining a healthy lifestyle on a budget is entirely achievable.

Conclusion

As we conclude this comprehensive guide on healthy eating, it's clear that embracing a balanced diet filled with nutritious whole foods, plant-based ingredients, and organic options can have a profound impact on our overall well-being. By understanding the importance of healthy eating, learning to build a balanced plate, and incorporating mindful eating strategies, readers are now empowered to embark on a transformative journey towards a healthier, more vibrant life.
Whether you're seeking to manage food allergies, reduce your intake of processed foods, or achieve your weight management goals, this article has provided a comprehensive roadmap filled with practical tips and strategies to overcome common obstacles and make sustainable changes. By prioritizing clean eating and embracing the wide variety of nutrient-dense whole foods available, you can nourish your body and mind, ultimately leading to improved energy levels, reduced disease risk, and a heightened sense of overall vitality.
Remember, the journey to healthy eating is not a one-size-fits-all approach. It's about finding the right balance and incorporating the strategies that work best for your individual needs and preferences. With dedication, creativity, and a willingness to experiment, you can cultivate a nutritious, affordable, and enjoyable eating lifestyle that serves as the foundation for a healthier, more fulfilling tomorrow. Embrace the power of healthy eating and embark on a path towards a more vibrant, resilient, and joyful existence.

FAQ

What are the benefits of a balanced diet?

A balanced diet offers numerous benefits, including improved energy levels, better weight management, reduced risk of chronic diseases, and enhanced mental clarity.

How can I overcome obstacles to healthy eating?

Common obstacles to healthy eating, such as time constraints, budget concerns, and lack of knowledge, can be overcome through effective meal planning, learning to read food labels, and exploring affordable nutrient-rich options.

What are the key components of a balanced plate?

A balanced plate should include protein-rich foods for satiety, fiber-filled vegetables and fruits, and whole grains for sustained energy.

How can I incorporate more whole, plant-based foods into my diet?

Incorporating more whole, plant-based foods into your diet can provide numerous benefits, including improved heart health, better weight management, and greater environmental sustainability.

How can I practice mindful eating and portion control?

Practicing mindful eating, which involves becoming more aware of hunger cues and savoring each bite, can help you achieve portion control and develop a healthier relationship with food.

How can I manage food allergies and intolerances while following a healthy eating plan?

Identifying common allergens and triggers, as well as adapting recipes to accommodate special dietary needs, can help you manage food allergies and intolerances while still enjoying a variety of delicious and nutritious meals.

What are the benefits of choosing organic and locally sourced foods?

Organic and locally sourced foods often have a superior nutritional profile and a reduced environmental impact compared to processed and conventionally grown options.

How can I achieve weight management through healthy eating?

Understanding the concept of calorie density and the importance of balancing macronutrients (protein, carbohydrates, and fats) can support sustainable weight loss or maintenance through a healthy eating lifestyle.

How can I maintain a healthy eating plan on a budget?

Cost-effective meal planning and incorporating affordable nutrient-rich food options can help you enjoy a balanced diet without breaking the bank.
Sign up Here for 32 FREE Healthy Meal Plans With Low Calories and High Protein!

(The Center Square) – At a Monday morning press conference regarding the results of the state’s Climate Commitment Act, Gov. Jay Inslee sought to make thinly veiled case for why voters should reject an initiative on the November ballot that would repeal the revenue-generating program.
Though the CCA’s stated goal is to reduce carbon emission levels by 95% by 2050, Inslee said that “the basic fundamental purpose of this program, is to reduce pollution. The fundamental purpose of the Climate Commitment Act is to reduce pollution. We are responding to pollution and getting real benefits out of it.” ... The CCA is one of many state laws or resolutions intended to reduce Washington’s greenhouse gas emissions. While the latest data available from the state Department of Ecology for 2019 shows that emission levels were their highest since 2007, it does not account for environmental policies enacted since, including the CCA which was passed in 2021 and implemented last year. ... A large sum of CCA revenue, $1.5 billion, is to be spent electrifying the state’s transportation sector. That includes $563 million for the state’s ferry fleet, the largest in the nation, and $429 million for public transit grants. An additional $45 million is to be spent on electric vehicle infrastructure grants for charging stations on state highways. ... Rather than carbon emission reduction, Inslee focused primarily on the ostensible benefits these projects will have on air quality and air pollution. According to Ecology State Ambient Air Monitoring Coordinator Jill Schulte, the department is installing 50 “SensWa,” a portable sensor for fine particle pollution, throughout the state. ...Some CCA revenue would also be directed at improving forest health. Inslee attributed smoke emitted during wildfire seasons that reduce air quality to climate change. However, forestry experts have noted there are a variety of factors that determine the amount of smoke, including fuel moisture levels and heat intensity. Another factor impacting wildfire seasons severity is the level of precipitation during late July and early August that moistens light fuels necessary to ignite wildfires.

https://www.thecentersquare.com/washington/article_9e06a308-1162-11ef-9c04-07a36db3699b.html

Race Information
• Name: Bad Ass Backyard Ultra
• Date: May 11, 2024
• Distance: 29.5
• Location: Rio Linda, CA
• Website: https://www.skybreakerracing.com/bad-ass-backyard-ultra/
• Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/11388611030
• Loops: 7

Goal	Completed
Stay under 50 miles	Yes
See if I like this kind of race	Definitely
Have Fun	Always
Win?	Yes!

Pre-race:
I’m a 40 year old guy who sits at a desk all day (CPA). I started running in August of 2021 specifically to do a marathon, crossed the finish line that December and since then it’s been an addiction. I’ve now run 4 marathons, 2 50k, 3 70.3s, a full Ironman and in February as I switched from Triathlon to Ultras I did my first 50 miler. The 50 (in spite of showing I need to fix some blister issues) confirmed for me that ultra events are my favorite. I still like the triathlon training and how I feel with those more, but as far as events and culture, ultras are my thing. So anyway, I know I’m now an ultra runner, but I was a little lost as to what my next “A” race would be. I had the option of Ironman in October, Rio Del Lago 100 miler in November, or one of these backyard ultras that I’ve been hearing about. For those that are unaware, it’s basically a 4.2(ish) mile loop that is done every hour. No matter how fast or slow you run that loop, every hour on the hour another loop starts. This goes until people drop off and there is one person left. At the surface, this seemed like something that I’d like to inject directly into my veins. But that could just be me being naïve about how boring doing the same loop over and over would be, or how much I HATE stopping during runs. But the main draw for me, is that within 15 minutes of any race I’ve ever run in my life, the eventual winner is nowhere near me. Lining up every hour with the eventual winner and looking them in the eye just gets me irrationally hyped. That said, I’m coming off my first 50 miler, my toes are still healing (waiting on my big toe nail to fall off at this point, and my coach has BEGGED me to not go too deep in the well for this one. He wants a real training build up, some time to figure out blister issues and be legitimately prepared for a race. So the main goal here is to see if I want to throw 6 months of specific training at a race of this format.

Race Day:
So there are only 3 people signed up for this race. We even got an email from the race director asking if we still wanted to race. I get there with my wife, 3 kids and parents with tents, pop-ups, battery packs and iPads ready for this to be a long day. I have Maurten gels for 24 hours, huge packs of electrolyte mixes, I have my headlamp in case this goes into the night, 7 pairs of socks, 3 pairs of shoes, I have my heat gear, a tent, pop-up and a table. Quite frankly I may have had as much setup as the race director. My Bi-Carb and Ketones get drunk, we’re ready to rock.

Course:
This course was very strange. We’re out in the middle of farm land, and the first 1.7 miles is all exposed and it got up to 90 degrees at the peak of the day. What made it worse was a good mile of this section was not mowed, so we were trying to pave a path through calf high grass in places. After that you get to a legitimate trail that has a good bit of tree cover. One tiny hill for a grand total of 30 feet of elevation gain on the loop, so it’s pancake flat. There’s also a street crossing where there are a couple volunteers pressing the button to stop any cars coming by. Not a super busy street, so it was never a huge issue, but I did laugh a bit every time.

Race:
8am rolls around and I meet the two other people I’m running with. One guy just turned 33 so his goal was to do that many miles. Another is a woman in her 50s who had about the same goal for the day, but she was training for a run from the bottom of the UK to the top over 35 days or something. She’s done the Tahoe 200 before (something that’s on my bucket list), and I’m definitely a bit intimidated. That said, she says she has tickets for a comedy show later tonight, so I jokingly say I just need to hold out until she has to leave for that. Race starts and we decide we should run together a bit for the first lap just to figure out where the hell we’re going. We universally agree that the first section is BS, but the shade after makes all the difference. I start walking at the shade and let them run up ahead. I see them later on when I finish my loop.
My goal was to hit 50 to 55 minutes on each loop. First and foremost I don’t want to be sitting too long and thinking about pain or heat or whatever. To do this, I go at an easy pace for the heat section, walk when I get to the shade until I get to a 13 minute pace or so. Then I start running again. When I get to the tiny hill I start walking again until the pace drops in that range and then run into the finish line. I think I pegged every single lap right around 53 minutes. I’d grab a sponge from the ice bucket and wipe down my arms, sit down, eat my gel, put some ice in the pouch on my back, in my hat and down my pants. Every 2 laps I’d change socks and spray my feet down with Aquaphor to keep them lubricated. Every 4^th lap I’d change shoes. I’d eat fruit or any snacks I was feeling while my dad would fill my water bottles, one with electrolyte mix and one with regular water. I’d usually get up from the seat between the 2 and 1 minute warning, mosey on over to the start line, sponge down my arms one last time and get ready to do it again.
Loops 1 and 2 are about the same. I send a check in text as I’m walking in the shade to my wife and coach which I call my “*.5 check in.” I grade my pace, attitude, pain level and fun being had with any notes.
On loop 2.5 I text that the young guy is struggling in the heat. I even texted my wife to have the race director check on him when I didn’t see him for a while, but he was ok. I talked to him a bit and he said he was using too much energy running the heat section so he was walking some of it. I figured that would be too much heat exposure for me, but he says he’s ok.
Loop 3.5 I am getting too much sweat in my eyes. I usually wear an American flag headband when I run, but in the heat (and with my thinning hair up top prone to sunburn) I’ve switched away to a bucket hat. Until now I had the headband on the outside of the bucket hat. I admit I’m choosing fashion/superstition over practicality and put the headband under the hat which immediately fixes the problem. I also have a fun conversation with the woman about how I’m doing this whole mathematical calculation for my pace which makes sense being a CPA. She says she’s running completely on feel, but that makes sense because she’s a massage therapist. The young guy struggles a lot and comes in at 57 minutes on lap 4 and drops.
Loop 4.5 I have made my first shoe switch. After wearing the Altras with the wide toe box the Hokas that I’ve run all my other races in feel horribly constricting and I have a good idea of why I keep getting blisters. I decide to change shoes back to the Altras after this lap. Woman says her goal is 4 more laps.
Loop 5.5 I write that she’s trying to mind game me and that she’s gone a bit negative and I need to be more positive to combat it. Now I know that this probably says a lot more about me than it does her. It’s possible and even likely that she was dancing at the start line of loop 6 because she liked the song. But in my head, in that minute it seemed like she was trying to show no weakness. She starts off that lap a little hot, but I keep my same pace. The surprising part is when I pass her about halfway through the heat section and it takes her a bit to catch up as I’m walking in the shade. She grumbles a bit about that section of uncut grass and asks how long I’m going and what happens if we both stop at the same time. Just some little cracks mentally that I note as she starts running again up ahead of me. Now usually at this point I don’t see her until the finish line because she’s been running 46 minute laps and I’ve been well behind at 53 minute laps. But midway through my walk section I see her just a little up ahead at a turn. Please know, I AM NOT PROUD of what happens next. It’s not time to run yet, but with her struggling a little bit, I bet that if I pass her she breaks. So I start running, and make sure to keep my breathing and heart rate in check. I run by, say “I’m gonna hustle on this one, I want a burrito.” This is not a lie, I did indeed want a burrito and when I came in the announcer asked how I was feeling to which I responded, “feels like half-time” as I had just finished 25 miles. Well half way into my burrito they tell me she’s going to drop. She congratulates me and I just have to finish my last lap to win. Yes, I mind-gamed a woman in her 50s to win. Now is she a badass woman in her 50s? Damn right she is. She’s done races I can only dream about right now, and I probably do it again given the chance. She later tells my dad that she asked herself what the hell she was doing once I passed her.
I decide lap 7 should be really strong, so I take off and do the heat section in sub 9 minute pace. This was a bad call. I decide my ego isn’t that big and walk in the shade a bit so I don’t pass out. I finish in about 49 minutes, get a cool sweatshirt, which I then proceed to wear in spite of the heat for pictures with my kids on a makeshift podium because I never have and probably never will win another race in my life.

Post-race:
A few small blisters. One of which is on my heel which is new, but as of Monday they’re already minimal, so 30 miles in that is a huge improvement from normal. I’m on the right track but still stuff to figure out. With the system I had I didn’t mind the stops at all in this race format. I also think my superpower is doing boring things over and over again, so the loop didn’t bother me at all. It’s almost certainly something I’m going to be throwing 6 months of training at for a big showing in November. Had a fun day with some really enjoyable people. Plus my coach didn’t yell at me for going too deep and this will be a quick recovery into some real training blocks. Overall loved it!

Several people have approached me that they might have endometriosis. Lifelong warrior so thought I would share my tips and tricks I put together for my friends and family to share with you :) Hope this helps someone!
ENDOMETRIOSIS SURGERY FACTS

• EXCISION SURGERY! I cannot stress this one enough. If you have an ablation, it will grow back and likely quick (but consult with your doctors on your case 100%). Excision is when they cut it out vs. it gets burned off. You will have a better success rate and slow rate of growth if they excise. Not all cases can be depending on location so again, please talk with your doctor about your situation. This is not the same for everyone.
• If your doctor cannot do excision surgery. Skip and move on to the next! Trust me, well worth the time to research and find the right doctor. You will thank me later for this one too haha.
• Finding a doctor is stuff. Also tough to find resources. If you cannot find an Endometriosis specialist in your area who does excision, you may need to look out of state, but one tip is exploring gynecological oncologists. Some will take benign cases, but not all so do your research. But it’s a good avenue for help in your area or you want insurance coverage.
• Nanny’s Nook is a good resource for online information regarding endometriosis: https://nancysnookendo.com/
• Dr Seckin’s book called The Doctor Will See You Now is also worth the read (https://www.amazon.com/Doctor-Will-See-You-Endometriosis/dp/1681621126)
• Definitely look into Egg Freezing before doing any permanent surgeries. The ovaries are more intact when there is a uterus in place, so I recommend immediately following any excisions with Egg Freezing if you can and if it’s part of your plans. I found my AMH levels low (1.2) but still retrieved 25 eggs, so never be discouraged if this is your future planning path.
• My Symptoms: I experience bloating, constipation, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting as the main culprits. I have irregular periods in regards to the number of days and if it comes or not (even with an IUD). Pelvic pain is probably the worst of all since it accompanies these symptoms and is present a majority of the time. Others may have different symptoms, and there’s many others I didn’t list but wanted to paint the picture of some I’ve experienced.

ENDOMETRIOSIS LAPAROSCOPIC SURGERY (WHAT TO EXPECT)
PRE-SURGERY

• List of questions to ask your doctor
• Insurance Information and ID
• Necessary forms or paperwork the doctor requires
• Make sure any medical records are sent that would be relevant

POST-OP PREP

• Eat smaller meals and simple foods days beforehand. If bowel prep is necessary, they also recommend taking a laxative in the days leading up to help prep.
• Pack a bag! Not every surgery is an overnight stay but even if you have a day-of surgery, back an overnight bag. Here’s the essentials:
  • Phone/Headphones/iPad/Kindle/Books
  • Device Chargers
  • Medications that you currently take
  • Glasses (do not wear contacts day of)
  • An extra pair of underwear
  • Sanitary Pads or Always Discreet
  • Comfy pants with light elastic band around the waist
  • Non wired bra
  • Slip on shoes (this is clutch! Recommend slides -https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BL7LJKZW/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1).
  • Layers - Sweatshirt, Long Sleeved Shirt etc. - Hospitals are cold!
  • Toothbrush and tooth paste
  • Hairbrush
  • Face wipes, wash cloth, small towel and bar of soap.

SPACE PREP

1. Make sure your bed or couch is prepped. I stayed on the first level for the first 2ish days before feeling well enough to stay upstairs.
2. I used a pregnancy pillow on the bed to help me stay on my back while sleeping and help you feel cozy.
3. Stock the house with foods that will be light for your stomach. Think soups and casseroles! Saltine crackers, broths, rices etc..
4. If you have a raised bed, get a step stool to assist. It’s best to sit on the side of the bed and slowly lay your upper body down while bringing your knees up and over to your back. You will need to use arm strength the first couple of days to get you up and over since you can’t use the abdomen.
5. Water and Beverages stocked at all times. I have a reusable water bottle and avoid carbonated beverages for the time being. They fill you with gas for the procedure so it may make those symptoms worse.
6. Netflix, Kindle, Puzzles, Craft Projects…visits with friends. Whatever makes the time pass, set it up ahead of time so it’s handy.
7. Items to Keep on Hand: Baby Wipes, heating pads, pads/diapers, candles, essential oils, things that smell good haha

BOWEL PREP
This is dependent on the type of surgery you are having, but its good to have Gatorade, Magnesium Citrate (liquid), laxatives and enemas on hand just in case you need these.
ON SURGERY DAY
It’s important to follow the instructions on what to stop taking and/or eating/drinking prior to the surgery. Wear comfy clothes (wide elastic waistband) and slides with cozy socks. Double check your to go bag and breath.
AT THE HOSPITAL

1. Do your check-ins and keep your people with you as long as you want.
2. Make sure to read all the consent forms and ask any questions upfront. Make any advance directives clear.
3. Just try to remain calm as there’s a lot of down time while they do intake. It is about 2 hours of prep before they bring you in for the surgery itself.
4. They will ask you the same questions over and over again, that’s normal and trust me, you want to confirm it’s all being done properly.
5. If you need something for anxiety, they will be sure to give you something if you ask :)
6. You will be wearing a gown, socks, funky underwear and a cool hair net haha wear the gown backward so you keep warm and keep the butt covered.
7. Vitals will happen and the anesthesiologist will come and speak with you to make sure they prep the right meds beforehand. Bring up any concerns here with them!
8. You may be wheeled or walked into surgery. I’ve only ever walked in and laid on the table myself.
9. They will then put the IV in your arm and sometimes will put on a mask, they will then ask you to count backwards and before you know it, you will be awake again!

RECOVERY

• You will wake-up and feel groggy. Totally normal and you will be in a different room. They will likely say a lot really quick about your surgery. Before leaving ask for them to walk through it or see if you can speak with the doctor again when clear headed. RECOMMENDED!
• Your throat will be sore, that’s normal from the tube.
• Just relax and sleep it off if you want, the goal is to be relaxed and pee once before leaving.
• Before you go, eat and drink and pass smoke urine. They’ll provide you with the meds and you’ll be good to go.
• Make sure someone brings you home after :)
• Make sure you have a bag for vomit in the car.
• Bring a small pillow that can be strapped between the car belt and you for maximum comfort on the trip home.
• Pain Med Management: This one is important. I messed up night one and didn’t take it soon enough and was in too much pain so make sure you stick to the schedule the doctors give you to ensure you are comfortable.
• Keep Walking: It seems unnatural to have a surgery then walk, but the sooner you get up and keep moving around the house, the better. Just avoid heavy lifting and immense bending like movements. Stairs are also ok but also consult with your doctor!
• Gas Build Up: I did feel pain in my shoulders from the gas. Just keep moving! It will help get that out of the system but this pain is normal.
• Relax and let people take care of you! Don’t be too quick to recover.
• Keep an eye out for fever, increased vaginal bleeding, or feeling terrible.
• Keep all post op appointments and follow all post op instructions!

ENDOMETRIOSIS MAINTENANCE
Here’s the tips and tricks I found helpful for maintaining my pain and symptoms (GI and back pain related):

1. Pelvic Floor Therapy: This is important for keeping the muscles in your pelvis healthy and strong to maintain your structure and also help manage pain. Consult with your doctor on whether this is right for you.
2. Physical Therapy: I do PT for my back and pelvic floor since it’s all related. We focus on Myofascial Release Therapy to help break up the adhesions and give me more mobility. This helps with temporary pain relief (reduction in number), but that is always welcome :)
3. Acupuncture: I swear by Acupuncture. I don’t know what it does or why, but it works. It’s not a cure by any means, but it's great for relaxation, fertility, digestion, endometriosis, sleep, etc.. I can go on, but it’s not covered by insurance plans all the time so you will need to check and see what you’re able to take on.
4. Diet/Exercise:
   1. Eating high protein, lower fat/carbs (not none just low) helps your body, but overall learn your trigger foods! This will go a long way.
   2. Ginger, turmeric and fennel all help with bloating. I like to drink them in tea form when I’m feeling particularly hard stomached as it’s a good natural way to decrease the bloat. Peppermint also works for some, for me it irritates my GERD.
   3. Chamomile for relaxation
   4. Walking and movement are important. I cannot do anything high impact due to my sacroiliitis diagnosis, so I stick with light yoga and walking.
5. Alcohol/Other Substances: Don’t do it. Don’t touch it. You’ll thank me later on this point.
6. Sleep: Insomnia is a very real thing. I think I went 2 or 3 days at its worst one time and I cannot say enough how important trying to keep the same sleep schedule will benefit you. Waking and sleeping around the same time each day will still feel exhausting but at least you know your body is getting the most sleep it can get.
7. Medications/Supplements:
   1. Ibprofuern: This does NOT work for me. I have GERD and ulcers so I cannot take NSAIDs, but with that in mind, NSAIDs are supposedly the best pain medication over the counter to help you manage it.
   2. Pain Killers: These are AS NEEDED. I try to refrain and leave these for the TRULY bad days which I try to spread out. Not even worth it sometimes, because I don’t like how I feel and sometimes vomit after taking them. But they do help the pain!
   3. IUD/Orilissa: An IUD will NOT do anything. If you are diagnosed, ask your doctor about Orilissa or similar medicines instead of birth control methods. This will not stop the growth, just suppress it. There are side effects and it is only a short term solution.
   4. Linzess: This worked well for me for constipation symptoms when they got severe. Definitely recommend bringing this to your doctor if you’re truly suffering and they have not yet mentioned. I also resorted after trying magnesium citrate
   5. CBD Lotions/Salves: For my pelvis, I use Healing Rose CBD Salve in Orange and Lavender (https://www.thehealingroseco.com/product/orange-lavender-with-chamomile-herbal-salve-300mg-cbd/). For my back, I use a medical grade CBD lotion with menthol (https://cbdclinic.co/clinical-strength-series/). I also use a CBD massage oil from Healing Rose of the same scent when doing myofascial release at home. I also use Somedays Cramp Cream (https://somedays.com/products/period-cramp-cream?variant=42062153842853).
8. Heating Pads and Ice Pack: I have several varieties of heating pads. A cordless travel heating pad (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09FPTJL4G?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details), a plug-in heating pad (lhttps://www.hsn.com/products/pure-enrichment-purerelief-xxl-heating-pad-with-9-cord/22188460) and stick on patches (https://www.thermacare.com/ - I use the back patches but reverse them to the front for better coverage). For hot flashes and night sweats (also if you need to relax while anxious) place an ice pack over your chest to help cool or calm down.
9. Self-Care: No joke, massages, facials, epsom salt baths, sound baths, reiki….anything that you find relaxing. Do it. Try it! They also make CBD bath bombs Ive been wanting to check out.
10. TENs Machine: I really want one, don’t have one, but people swear by them (the heating pad linked to MyObi has a TENs version - https://myobistore.com/en-us/collections/my-obi-belts/products/apollo-2-0).
11. Pregnancy Pillow: This one sounds so lame, but I bought a pregnancy pillow for my first endometriosis surgery since I’m a side sleeper to help keep me on my back during recovery. It changed by life! It helps my anxiety and makes me comfortable while sleeping. (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08YYVRXLM/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1)..
12. Heated Blankets/Cozy Blankets: Make yourself feel better with a cozy blanket. Do it, I dare you!
13. Endo To-Go Bag: Includes heating pads (travel, plug-in and patches), medications, balms/salves, essential oils and pads/protection items, change of clothes, wet wipes.
14. Sex Life: I’m single, I don’t have a partner to worry about communicating this issue with at this point, but go slow and communicate given eventually this will have to be a conversation. What I have learned is that if you do have sex and feel pain. Immediately stop! If you associate sex with pain mentally in that moment, it may cause fear in doing so down the line so it’s best to stop the moment you feel any pain occur.
15. Work Life: I work a demanding job so it was not working with the appointments and care I needed to manage pain. Always get FMLA from your doctor for intermittent leave based on your company's policies. This protects you from flare-ups and appointments. Short Term Disability is based on your situation with work so talk with them about any leave of absence for surgery and recovery and ensure the medical providers fill out the paperwork appropriately.
16. Friends/Family: This one is the worst. I have to cancel and make plans all the time based on how I feel. I like to line up a bunch of plans for three months out and do my best to make them happen at the beginning of the month when I know I’m most likely to feel good. I just say I’ll make things up to them when I get better and those who have stuck around have been truly amazing friends, but don’t be upset that some might be over the day in and out of what you’re going through. It’s hard for you and sometimes others and it’s just a part of the relationships we’re meant to experience in life. Most people (unless they have endometriosis) don’t understand it so it can feel isolating, but there’s others out there who know what you’re going through and are willing to chat. Just gotta find them and reach out on social media, online etc..
17. Journaling Symptoms: Guilty of not being the best at this always, but it's good to track your symptoms to see how they work and operate. It helps not only you plan for it, but also your doctors in how best to handle your care. Take photos of things that make sense to show your doctors! Discharge, bowels etc..can sometimes help diagnose or judge with the images.
18. Next to Bed Kit: Make sure your nightstand is stocked with the essentials for your bad days. Makes it easier to access the items you need when you just can’t get up and get it.
19. Squatty Potty: Another thing that is majorly life changing on constipation days! Get one or you can make your own :) Take a stack of books and stack them at equal heights on each side and put your feet up. The trick is making sure you’re in a squat with your knees high to your ears.
20. Clothing: Dressing for this is key but you still want to look cute! Joggers with a stretchy waist are my go to pants, but wide leg trousers with a stretchy waist help with ease of removal but also comfort and brings some style to the look.
21. Pads: I wear Always Discreet vs. pads. I find when you need to wear them full time for incontinence it just makes it more comfortable. They have different cuts and styles so definitely check them out!

Several people have approached me that they might have endometriosis. Lifelong warrior so thought I would share my tips and tricks I put together for my friends and family to share with you :) Hope this helps someone!
ENDOMETRIOSIS SURGERY FACTS

• EXCISION SURGERY! I cannot stress this one enough. If you have an ablation, it will grow back and likely quick (but consult with your doctors on your case 100%). Excision is when they cut it out vs. it gets burned off. You will have a better success rate and slow rate of growth if they excise. Not all cases can be depending on location so again, please talk with your doctor about your situation. This is not the same for everyone.
• If your doctor cannot do excision surgery. Skip and move on to the next! Trust me, well worth the time to research and find the right doctor. You will thank me later for this one too haha.
• Finding a doctor is stuff. Also tough to find resources. If you cannot find an Endometriosis specialist in your area who does excision, you may need to look out of state, but one tip is exploring gynecological oncologists. Some will take benign cases, but not all so do your research. But it’s a good avenue for help in your area or you want insurance coverage.
• Nanny’s Nook is a good resource for online information regarding endometriosis: https://nancysnookendo.com/
• Dr Seckin’s book called The Doctor Will See You Now is also worth the read (https://www.amazon.com/Doctor-Will-See-You-Endometriosis/dp/1681621126)
• Definitely look into Egg Freezing before doing any permanent surgeries. The ovaries are more intact when there is a uterus in place, so I recommend immediately following any excisions with Egg Freezing if you can and if it’s part of your plans. I found my AMH levels low (1.2) but still retrieved 25 eggs, so never be discouraged if this is your future planning path.
• My Symptoms: I experience bloating, constipation, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting as the main culprits. I have irregular periods in regards to the number of days and if it comes or not (even with an IUD). Pelvic pain is probably the worst of all since it accompanies these symptoms and is present a majority of the time. Others may have different symptoms, and there’s many others I didn’t list but wanted to paint the picture of some I’ve experienced.

ENDOMETRIOSIS LAPAROSCOPIC SURGERY (WHAT TO EXPECT)
PRE-SURGERY

• List of questions to ask your doctor
• Insurance Information and ID
• Necessary forms or paperwork the doctor requires
• Make sure any medical records are sent that would be relevant

POST-OP PREP

• Eat smaller meals and simple foods days beforehand. If bowel prep is necessary, they also recommend taking a laxative in the days leading up to help prep.
• Pack a bag! Not every surgery is an overnight stay but even if you have a day-of surgery, back an overnight bag. Here’s the essentials:
  • Phone/Headphones/iPad/Kindle/Books
  • Device Chargers
  • Medications that you currently take
  • Glasses (do not wear contacts day of)
  • An extra pair of underwear
  • Sanitary Pads or Always Discreet
  • Comfy pants with light elastic band around the waist
  • Non wired bra
  • Slip on shoes (this is clutch! Recommend slides -https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0BL7LJKZW/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1).
  • Layers - Sweatshirt, Long Sleeved Shirt etc. - Hospitals are cold!
  • Toothbrush and tooth paste
  • Hairbrush
  • Face wipes, wash cloth, small towel and bar of soap.

SPACE PREP

1. Make sure your bed or couch is prepped. I stayed on the first level for the first 2ish days before feeling well enough to stay upstairs.
2. I used a pregnancy pillow on the bed to help me stay on my back while sleeping and help you feel cozy.
3. Stock the house with foods that will be light for your stomach. Think soups and casseroles! Saltine crackers, broths, rices etc..
4. If you have a raised bed, get a step stool to assist. It’s best to sit on the side of the bed and slowly lay your upper body down while bringing your knees up and over to your back. You will need to use arm strength the first couple of days to get you up and over since you can’t use the abdomen.
5. Water and Beverages stocked at all times. I have a reusable water bottle and avoid carbonated beverages for the time being. They fill you with gas for the procedure so it may make those symptoms worse.
6. Netflix, Kindle, Puzzles, Craft Projects…visits with friends. Whatever makes the time pass, set it up ahead of time so it’s handy.
7. Items to Keep on Hand: Baby Wipes, heating pads, pads/diapers, candles, essential oils, things that smell good haha

BOWEL PREP
This is dependent on the type of surgery you are having, but its good to have Gatorade, Magnesium Citrate (liquid), laxatives and enemas on hand just in case you need these.
ON SURGERY DAY
It’s important to follow the instructions on what to stop taking and/or eating/drinking prior to the surgery. Wear comfy clothes (wide elastic waistband) and slides with cozy socks. Double check your to go bag and breath.
AT THE HOSPITAL

1. Do your check-ins and keep your people with you as long as you want.
2. Make sure to read all the consent forms and ask any questions upfront. Make any advance directives clear.
3. Just try to remain calm as there’s a lot of down time while they do intake. It is about 2 hours of prep before they bring you in for the surgery itself.
4. They will ask you the same questions over and over again, that’s normal and trust me, you want to confirm it’s all being done properly.
5. If you need something for anxiety, they will be sure to give you something if you ask :)
6. You will be wearing a gown, socks, funky underwear and a cool hair net haha wear the gown backward so you keep warm and keep the butt covered.
7. Vitals will happen and the anesthesiologist will come and speak with you to make sure they prep the right meds beforehand. Bring up any concerns here with them!
8. You may be wheeled or walked into surgery. I’ve only ever walked in and laid on the table myself.
9. They will then put the IV in your arm and sometimes will put on a mask, they will then ask you to count backwards and before you know it, you will be awake again!

RECOVERY

• You will wake-up and feel groggy. Totally normal and you will be in a different room. They will likely say a lot really quick about your surgery. Before leaving ask for them to walk through it or see if you can speak with the doctor again when clear headed. RECOMMENDED!
• Your throat will be sore, that’s normal from the tube.
• Just relax and sleep it off if you want, the goal is to be relaxed and pee once before leaving.
• Before you go, eat and drink and pass smoke urine. They’ll provide you with the meds and you’ll be good to go.
• Make sure someone brings you home after :)
• Make sure you have a bag for vomit in the car.
• Bring a small pillow that can be strapped between the car belt and you for maximum comfort on the trip home.
• Pain Med Management: This one is important. I messed up night one and didn’t take it soon enough and was in too much pain so make sure you stick to the schedule the doctors give you to ensure you are comfortable.
• Keep Walking: It seems unnatural to have a surgery then walk, but the sooner you get up and keep moving around the house, the better. Just avoid heavy lifting and immense bending like movements. Stairs are also ok but also consult with your doctor!
• Gas Build Up: I did feel pain in my shoulders from the gas. Just keep moving! It will help get that out of the system but this pain is normal.
• Relax and let people take care of you! Don’t be too quick to recover.
• Keep an eye out for fever, increased vaginal bleeding, or feeling terrible.
• Keep all post op appointments and follow all post op instructions!

ENDOMETRIOSIS MAINTENANCE
Here’s the tips and tricks I found helpful for maintaining my pain and symptoms (GI and back pain related):

1. Pelvic Floor Therapy: This is important for keeping the muscles in your pelvis healthy and strong to maintain your structure and also help manage pain. Consult with your doctor on whether this is right for you.
2. Physical Therapy: I do PT for my back and pelvic floor since it’s all related. We focus on Myofascial Release Therapy to help break up the adhesions and give me more mobility. This helps with temporary pain relief (reduction in number), but that is always welcome :)
3. Acupuncture: I swear by Acupuncture. I don’t know what it does or why, but it works. It’s not a cure by any means, but it's great for relaxation, fertility, digestion, endometriosis, sleep, etc.. I can go on, but it’s not covered by insurance plans all the time so you will need to check and see what you’re able to take on.
4. Diet/Exercise:
   1. Eating high protein, lower fat/carbs (not none just low) helps your body, but overall learn your trigger foods! This will go a long way.
   2. Ginger, turmeric and fennel all help with bloating. I like to drink them in tea form when I’m feeling particularly hard stomached as it’s a good natural way to decrease the bloat. Peppermint also works for some, for me it irritates my GERD.
   3. Chamomile for relaxation
   4. Walking and movement are important. I cannot do anything high impact due to my sacroiliitis diagnosis, so I stick with light yoga and walking.
5. Alcohol/Other Substances: Don’t do it. Don’t touch it. You’ll thank me later on this point.
6. Sleep: Insomnia is a very real thing. I think I went 2 or 3 days at its worst one time and I cannot say enough how important trying to keep the same sleep schedule will benefit you. Waking and sleeping around the same time each day will still feel exhausting but at least you know your body is getting the most sleep it can get.
7. Medications/Supplements:
   1. Ibprofuern: This does NOT work for me. I have GERD and ulcers so I cannot take NSAIDs, but with that in mind, NSAIDs are supposedly the best pain medication over the counter to help you manage it.
   2. Pain Killers: These are AS NEEDED. I try to refrain and leave these for the TRULY bad days which I try to spread out. Not even worth it sometimes, because I don’t like how I feel and sometimes vomit after taking them. But they do help the pain!
   3. IUD/Orilissa: An IUD will NOT do anything. If you are diagnosed, ask your doctor about Orilissa or similar medicines instead of birth control methods. This will not stop the growth, just suppress it. There are side effects and it is only a short term solution.
   4. Linzess: This worked well for me for constipation symptoms when they got severe. Definitely recommend bringing this to your doctor if you’re truly suffering and they have not yet mentioned. I also resorted after trying magnesium citrate
   5. CBD Lotions/Salves: For my pelvis, I use Healing Rose CBD Salve in Orange and Lavender (https://www.thehealingroseco.com/product/orange-lavender-with-chamomile-herbal-salve-300mg-cbd/). For my back, I use a medical grade CBD lotion with menthol (https://cbdclinic.co/clinical-strength-series/). I also use a CBD massage oil from Healing Rose of the same scent when doing myofascial release at home. I also use Somedays Cramp Cream (https://somedays.com/products/period-cramp-cream?variant=42062153842853).
8. Heating Pads and Ice Pack: I have several varieties of heating pads. A cordless travel heating pad (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09FPTJL4G?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details), a plug-in heating pad (lhttps://www.hsn.com/products/pure-enrichment-purerelief-xxl-heating-pad-with-9-cord/22188460) and stick on patches (https://www.thermacare.com/ - I use the back patches but reverse them to the front for better coverage). For hot flashes and night sweats (also if you need to relax while anxious) place an ice pack over your chest to help cool or calm down.
9. Self-Care: No joke, massages, facials, epsom salt baths, sound baths, reiki….anything that you find relaxing. Do it. Try it! They also make CBD bath bombs Ive been wanting to check out.
10. TENs Machine: I really want one, don’t have one, but people swear by them (the heating pad linked to MyObi has a TENs version - https://myobistore.com/en-us/collections/my-obi-belts/products/apollo-2-0).
11. Pregnancy Pillow: This one sounds so lame, but I bought a pregnancy pillow for my first endometriosis surgery since I’m a side sleeper to help keep me on my back during recovery. It changed by life! It helps my anxiety and makes me comfortable while sleeping. (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08YYVRXLM/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1)..
12. Heated Blankets/Cozy Blankets: Make yourself feel better with a cozy blanket. Do it, I dare you!
13. Endo To-Go Bag: Includes heating pads (travel, plug-in and patches), medications, balms/salves, essential oils and pads/protection items, change of clothes, wet wipes.
14. Sex Life: I’m single, I don’t have a partner to worry about communicating this issue with at this point, but go slow and communicate given eventually this will have to be a conversation. What I have learned is that if you do have sex and feel pain. Immediately stop! If you associate sex with pain mentally in that moment, it may cause fear in doing so down the line so it’s best to stop the moment you feel any pain occur.
15. Work Life: I work a demanding job so it was not working with the appointments and care I needed to manage pain. Always get FMLA from your doctor for intermittent leave based on your company's policies. This protects you from flare-ups and appointments. Short Term Disability is based on your situation with work so talk with them about any leave of absence for surgery and recovery and ensure the medical providers fill out the paperwork appropriately.
16. Friends/Family: This one is the worst. I have to cancel and make plans all the time based on how I feel. I like to line up a bunch of plans for three months out and do my best to make them happen at the beginning of the month when I know I’m most likely to feel good. I just say I’ll make things up to them when I get better and those who have stuck around have been truly amazing friends, but don’t be upset that some might be over the day in and out of what you’re going through. It’s hard for you and sometimes others and it’s just a part of the relationships we’re meant to experience in life. Most people (unless they have endometriosis) don’t understand it so it can feel isolating, but there’s others out there who know what you’re going through and are willing to chat. Just gotta find them and reach out on social media, online etc..
17. Journaling Symptoms: Guilty of not being the best at this always, but it's good to track your symptoms to see how they work and operate. It helps not only you plan for it, but also your doctors in how best to handle your care. Take photos of things that make sense to show your doctors! Discharge, bowels etc..can sometimes help diagnose or judge with the images.
18. Next to Bed Kit: Make sure your nightstand is stocked with the essentials for your bad days. Makes it easier to access the items you need when you just can’t get up and get it.
19. Squatty Potty: Another thing that is majorly life changing on constipation days! Get one or you can make your own :) Take a stack of books and stack them at equal heights on each side and put your feet up. The trick is making sure you’re in a squat with your knees high to your ears.
20. Clothing: Dressing for this is key but you still want to look cute! Joggers with a stretchy waist are my go to pants, but wide leg trousers with a stretchy waist help with ease of removal but also comfort and brings some style to the look.
21. Pads: I wear Always Discreet vs. pads. I find when you need to wear them full time for incontinence it just makes it more comfortable. They have different cuts and styles so definitely check them out!

Hello!
large batch of cleanouts from me some freinds/teammates. I will do my best to get back to each and every one of you but this oils the largest listing I have done in quite some time. First come first serve if i don't hear a response within 24 hrs. I will move on to the next person in queue if there is one. Just trying to be clear and avoid any messes.
Prices DO Not include shipping and are all OBO unless noted otherwise. Not really interested in trades at this point well maybe an Apc9-k (I have a odd interest in a m1919 ) but feel free to ask and or offer, but really cash is king. I can quote USPS, UPS, and FEDEX. Payments handled via PayPal and local pickup is a option in east central WI.
Most of the smaller items are Flexible and or I am willing to deal on if buying other stuff.
I do also have a KWA KZ.61 / VZ61 that i need to get pics and list up as well as a real steel parts kit if anyone is interested (was a backburner project to see if it could be converted to use some real steel parts like upper receiver stock etc. just too busy and lost interest in the project
KWA Kz.61 / VZ 61
https://imgur.com/a/TLpPxhe
https://youtu.be/KboKBt1lplg
KWA kz. 61 aka vz 61, or Scorpion.
used condition completely cleaned and relubricated. incudes the black nylon brain exploder mounts. Missing one charging handle. Bucking was just replaced with a modify one may need a little break in. One short mag leak free cycles and shoots fine.
Asking $160 OBO
Also have a real steel parts kit
https://imgur.com/a/uwoFUAM
complete vz parts kit , was originally picked up to work on messign with using the stamped steel upper grip etc other parts with the airsoft one. TLDR is sat on the shelf too long and lost interest. Any questions let me know. barrel is 32 acp us made (if you thinking about diameters.
asking $170 OBO or $320 for Both RS parts kit and airsoft Kz.61
Ares Helios (Striker) bolt action sniper
https://imgur.com/a/FlEYwzT
selling for a freind, Used LNIB never fielded. Comes with two mags, one square bottom and one angled bottom. fully cleaned and re-lubricated. The cocking indicator has been removed for a smoother easier pull. Cocking indicator included in little baggie, but really i don't think i would recommend using one unless you get one of the aftermarket pin setups. the threading and friction added by the stock one is a little shoddy. Airseal is great +- 1 fps on .28s 1.82j.
Asking $150 OBO
Barrett Fieldcraft Precision Bolt Action Gas Sniper (VSR)
https://imgur.com/a/s7hn0qs
https://youtu.be/9W5MQY0Uarw
Also selling this one for a friend. Barrett Fieldcraft Precision Bolt Action Gas Sniper believe this is the greengas version. Includes, gun, one vsr mag, rail mount, and a green gas nozzle extended to help fill the bolt with gas. personally I do not like "green gas" or gas filled bolt systems. I would strongly recommend moving over to a spring bolt but the rest of the gun/body i would say is built really well. 90 degree zero trigger. well made machined outer barrel and receiver that mate really well stops perfectly when threading the outer barrel into the receiver. some unknown brand steel inner barrel. Stock is also very well made, and as woodworker rather impressed me, most airsoft wood stocks are poor at best but the fit finish and checkering is on point. Tested it to hold gas with no leaks but my GG is pretty much out tested at 1J with .28's not as familiar with modding these gas systems. But a great base for building a VSR if you want a a wood stock or the silver asthetic.
Asking $110 OBO
WE Galaxy 1911 premium long barrel (full metal)
https://imgur.com/a/pt4cnui
reference:
Brand new WE Galaxy 1911 premium long barrel. Premium is the full metal upper and lower decent bit of weight to it. Takes the 1911 thin pattern of mags. Any questons feel free to ask
Asking $100 OBO
APS Mantis X (g34 clone/wannabe) w/RMR adapter
https://imgur.com/a/Pz0HkM9
https://youtu.be/36FQRjbV7Yc
Another selling for a freind. LNIB Mantis X basically a g34 with RMR mount/adapter and a non functioning RMR (tried replacing battery no dice so it currently just there to look cool). Includes alt backstrap co2 mag seals, original rear sight allen keys, and APS CO2 mag that leaks from the top valve (basically from my undestanding the APS co2 mags are kinda poor). Tested with a WE GG glock mag cycles just fine and actually shoots pretty good too. (what i used in the video clip.) Next to no wear never fielded. stippling on it was also surprisingly quite clean and good does not look stamped.
Asking $90 OBO if you want I have a new china made RMR clone that works that I can include for $35 more.
SR25 Stuff
https://imgur.com/a/TOYhkab
A&K receiver new never used $55
https://imgur.com/a/yRwhqqP
Retro arms V2.5 QSC gearbox shell (8mm) also new never used $120 obo (if you ask nicely ill toss in a set of retro arms 8mm steel bushings)
https://imgur.com/a/h6CGa0U
5x Avengers 120 rnd SR25 mag these have some interesting potential they have more "track" inside the mag with multiple different locations the spring end stop can go, the thing is you would need to fab or 3d print covers for the other locations and of course have a longer mag spring but could potentially hold double or better $12 ea or $ 50 for the lot
https://imgur.com/a/k4aeCKS
1x G&G 100 rnd metal Sr25 midcap $18
IF you want the lot or bundle parts let me know could knock a few bucks off
Ares gearbox
https://imgur.com/a/x8Fyf8K
Brand new unused Ares gearbox with ETU and quick change spring pulled from a new unused gun ambi selector control gears. Short lead for the battery may need to extend depending on your use case.
Asking $80-OBO
UTG Red Dot
https://imgur.com/a/AurGnY9
works, UTG red/green dot it ahs a crisp clear dot no "starring" that you may see on some cheaper china optics. has a Lexan lens protector on the front some scratches on it, but its just held on with some heat shrink so easy to remove if you do not like it or want it on there.
asking $25 obo
Magpul Pmag (KWA 30/60)
https://imgur.com/a/99evR17
Fully trademarked Magpul PMAG this is one of the ones OEM'd by KWA can be switched between 30 or 60 round capacity. Has full feed mag follower and cutoff for KWA ERG guns, mag will chamber and work with others jsut obviously the cutoff feature only works in KWA guns.
Asking $35 OBO
KWA K120c mags
https://imgur.com/a/4aaMWBl
support 30/120 rounds selectable via switch on the bottom, have full feed mag follower and support mag cutoff on select KWA guns/ERG lineup. very light usage mostly set in the cabinet.
Asking $80 for the lot, $45 for a 3 pack, or $17 per single
Silverback SRS Project/Scrap Stock
https://imgur.com/a/HhPArrP
Was originally a tan stock used as a dye test for dying the nylon fiber a camo pattern and masking techniques. Then later was modified and material removed to test fitment of a CO2 reg into the stock. you still should be able to lock-on the stock plate or the spacers but you will be missing several of the latching or locking teeth on the sides.
Asking $10 OBO
7in Carbon fiber handguard
https://imgur.com/a/3ZAVx4Z
https://imgur.com/a/ZABSpDZ
not much to say actual carbon fiber (not a wrap or a skin real carbon fiber tube) with mlock slots believe it is real steel barrel nut spec vs the airsoft metric
Asking $50 obo
Steel Arcturus Ak Trigger
https://imgur.com/a/RPFI4ds
new steel ak trigger for v3 gearboxes with spring. Asking $8 OBO
LCT OD G3 Grip
https://imgur.com/a/ronpy55
Asking $8 obo
ICS MARS mag release
https://imgur.com/a/ZJ31xZV
for ICS Mars, bought for a normal m4 would not fit without moification brand new.
asking $8 obo
Hi Capa Mag bodies
https://imgur.com/a/wtpaeKQ
just the bodies themselves if you have a damaged or beat up one AW/WE in origin I believe, no valves or other parts included.
Asking $8 for the lot or $3 ea
3 Stock Motors
https://imgur.com/a/qU4GmIN
not much to say shot type silver motor, CAs stock HT motor, LCT stock HT motor all i think are ferrite cans but alright for parts if building your own or need to just replace a stock motor
Asking $15 for the lot OBO
HK 51 Extended outer barrel (believe it was designed for the CA series)
https://imgur.com/a/vOodtA0
14MM CCW its a extended outer barrel nuff said
Asking 12 OBO
Freebies:
anything in THIS image https://imgur.com/F8lFh1J reaps bucking gone.
also this nagant stock its plastic for a Co2 nagant 44 https://imgur.com/a/o4Xl5CQ free just cover shipping or bundle with anything else
whew there we go, and i do have permission to keep this separate from my services thread.

Hi all!
Nearly two decades ago, I tried my first Belgian beer and that was a game changer. I thought I didn't like beer but these were another kind of monster. Nowadays I like most styles but I always have a batch of Belgian at hands. When I started brewing, I started to read about how to make Belgians and of course, I went across "candi syrup" and "candi sugar". I looked up online to order it and was shocked by the price: ~5€ for 1kg of rock candi sugar and nearly 9€ for 450g/ 1lb of syrup. I looked up recipes on how to make it and tried it but never nailed it. So here started my journey: with a good motivation, a degree in biochemistry, good knowledge of organic chemistry as well as food science/chemistry.
I developed a protocol to make candi syrup in a reproducible manner, you can read more about it here
If you can tolerate my French accent and have 9 minutes, I made an illustrated concise video (look up on youtube "Ole timmy brewing" and "candi syrup"
There was something missing: I could make anything from golden candi syrup to very dark syrup in no time. But the "simplicity syrup" was missing.
To me, this is just an expensive version of inverted sugar. Sugar, water, acid, higher temperature and there you go: saccharose -> glucose + fructose
I made it with whatever I had at hand: tartaric acid, cream of tartar, citric acid, lemon juice. All of the outcome had one flaw: there was an aftertaste. Nothing bad, but just an aftertaste. I wanted to change that.
The goals here are:

• ~100% inversion
• Stays liquid
• Shelf stable
• no color
• no aftertaste

The key to make tasteless and colorless inverted syrup is the acid (phosphoric acid), the temperature to avoid caramelization of newly formed fructose (it caramelizes at 116C/240.8F) and time (even with good control of the temperature, some fructose will caramelize, there is a cutoff between how much inversion and how much caramelization you get).
What you need (the recipe scales linearly):

• 500g white table sugar (1.1lbs)
• Chlorine-free water
• 75% food grade phosphoric acid
• A thermometer

This is how I do it:
Put your 500g/1.1lbs of sugar in a saucepan
Cover it with a minimum amount of water
meanwhile: take a shot glass, add some water to it (important to do it that way, for safety reasons) and put it on a precision scale. Tare. Add 0.4g of 75% phosphoric acid (it is like 3-4 drops with my pipette). Add it to your sugar-water mix. add a bit of water to your shot glass to rinse it and add it to the sugar-water mix.
NB: if your phosphoric acid solution is not 75%, you can calculate the amount you need in grams by doing: 0.4g*75/(your_concentration)
Start heating the mix. stir regularly to avoid scorching and once it is completely dissolved and boiling, let it rise to 114C/237.2F. reduce the heat and keep it between 114C/237.2F and 115C/239F. Do not go over 116C/240.8F. Do not stir for the first few minutes to prevent crystallization. You can start stirring then because the formation of fructose prevents crystallization.
Keep it in the above-mentioned temperature range for 15 minutes. After 10 minutes it may take a very pale yellow color. This means that some fructose is being caramelized (confirming that you made inverted syrup).
Add a bit of cold water, stirring vigorously to avoid as much as possible splashing.
Crank up the heat and bring it to exactly 112C/233.6F. This is the temperature where you have 80% sugar and 20% water. This will remain liquid and is shelf stable. Plunge the saucepan in cold water and stir to bring down the temperature ASAP. Once it is at a reasonable temperature (you can touch the pan without issue), transfer it to a clean jar. Let it come down to room temperature and store in the fridge. It won't crystallize and keep for several months!
The outcome is a very very pale syrup that has absolutely no taste besides what you would expect from sugar. 500g/1.1lbs of sugar will yield 600g/1.32lbs. 80% of that are completely fermentable.
I hope this will work for you, lemme know if you have questions!

Hello! Here's my first attempt at a race recap. Is it a form of post-race therapy for a race that did not go as planned, despite having a great training cucle? Maybe. Perhaps it is also an attempt at inspiring my fellow goal-oriented runners to find the positives, wins, and progression in a race where you did not reach your goals. It's a long one and includes heat exhaustion, unexpected GI distress, and blood sugar woes, so buckle down. Proceed at your own caution.

Race Information

• Name: Leiden Half Marathon
• Date: May 12th, 2024
• Distance: 21.1 km
• Location: Leiden, The Netherlands
• Website: marathon.nl
• Time: 1:35:55

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	Sub 1:32	No
B	Sub 1:34	No
C	PB	Yes

Splits

Kilometer	Time
1	4:52
2	4:32
3	4:27
4	4:28
5	4:27
6	4:33
7	4:28
8	4:28
9	4:28
10	4:33
11	4:32
12	4:31
13	4:32
14	4:39
15	4:35
16	4:42
17	4:38
18	4:32
19	4:24
20	4:31
21	4:27
0.1	4:15

Background

To give you some background: I'm a relatively new runner. I have been casually running since mid-April 2024 and more seriously since July 2023. This was my second full training block, the previous one being a 12 week training block for in December. After that, I ran a trail half in January 2024. That was a bit of a wildcard race that I ran on the fly, not to finish it as fast as possible. I hadn't trained for it and ran the first half easy, the second half as an unplanned progression run simply because I felt good. That run brought me to a 1:43:38 finishing time. The Leiden half marathon would thus be my first go at racing a half marathon. With the half in January in mind, on the outset of my training block, I had a sub 1:35 in mind, but still as a very loose aim, subject to change as the training block progressed.
Another piece of important background: I have type 1 diabetes, which affects my running in quite complex ways. I'll spare you the details, but generally I am pretty apt at managing my blood sugar during running, using a continuous glucose monitor and an insulin pump. I hardly ever experience low blood sugar while running, especially not during races, due to the adrenaline rush, which tends to spike blood sugar instead. Foreshadowing: this race did not follow this general pattern.

Training (or "the rise")

I started this training cycle at the end of February, using the Runna advanced half marathon plan. I'd used Runna for my first training cycle as well, so was familiar with the app and general structure, and overall happy with it. It scheduled 4 days of running, one long run workout, one easy run, and two speed workouts. One of those speed workouts I swapped for a track session at my local athletics club. In addition to this, I had two weight lifting sessions at the gym a week.
Despite not having an overt problem with Runna, I second guessed the paces it prescribed and the training intensity quite a lot. While during the 10k training the overall load did not feel excessively high, having two speed workouts, one of which an intense track session, and a long run workout between 18 and 24k per week with significant portions at HM or 10k pace felt a bit excessive. Halfway through March, I struggled to hit paces during my track sessions, whereas in January - February I had no problem with this, and my calves were perpetually tight. Because of this and other reasons, I switched to personalized online coaching from April onwards, about halfway through the training cycle. My coach was great about basing my training on the first half of the training cycle and slowly transitioning me to a different schedule. He transitioned me to 5 runs a week instead of 4, plus a 6th day of cross training, and adjusted the overall intensity to be far more in line with the general recommendation of 80% easy, 20% hard. I felt the effects almost immediately: my calves calmed down, my HR came down during easy runs, I hit paces during my hard sessions again, and could even run 4 days in a row, where before that would always set off my calves and cause shin pain. On average, I ran 54 km a week during the training block, with my peak weeks at 59km a week. During the second half of the training block I felt truly great, without any pain or niggles, even in those peak weeks.
This left me feeling confident and excited for the race. Based on a 20:02 5k time trial in the first week of April, my coach and I decided on 4:25 min/km as a goal pace for the half marathon, which would bring me to a finish time around 1:33. During my peak week long run workouts, (18k with a total of 8k at goal pace and 20k with 10k at goal pace), I could easily keep up with a faster pace of 4:22 min/km, planting the idea in my head that if the conditions were right, I might be able to hit sub 1:32. I knew there would be a chance of hot weather though, so kept 1:35 as a B-goal.
The training also included practicing with fueling on my run, taking gels every 25-30 minutes for my long run, which I never had any problem with, even when running faster. I generally view myself of having an iron stomach, thanks to years of eating at the most random moments to treat low blood sugars. Cue second piece of foreshadowing...

Pre-race (or "the turn")

In the days leading up to the race, it slowly became more and more clear that the weather conditions on race day would be less than ideal, with an expected high of 25 degrees and full sun. And, of course, since it's the Netherlands, decent humidity to boot. The whole west of the country is basically a swamp, after all. Knowing this, I already started managing my own expectations and realized that sub 1:32 would most likely be off the table. All attention to the 1:35 goal, then.
My pre-race days also included my first attempt at a semi-carb load. I call it a semi-carb load given the short duration: using Meghan Featherstun's calculator, I planned on a one/1.5 day carb load, from Friday morning to Saturday afternoon, with a normal dinner on Saturday so as to give my body time to digest all the carbs. The carb loading went surprisingly well; I'd expected that the extra carbs and relative lack of protein and fat would make it difficult to keep my blood sugar in check, but I experienced no significant blood sugar spikes (here's some counter evidence to all the fearmongering around carbs and blood glucose spikes - if I can handle it with synthetic, imperfectly working insulin and human error, a healthy person with a functioning pancreas surely will be absolutely fine).
Race morning? *Cue the stress*. Hectic was how I would describe it. I got up early so that I would be able to take an early train to Leiden, allowing for plenty of time to do my warm up, queue for the bathrooms, etc. My bag was all packed when my boyfriend, who would travel with me to cheer me on, suggested I transfer all my stuff to his backpack, so I wouldn't have to check my bag (this would save some time and allow us to circumvent some of the busy parts of town). Foreshadowing: this was a bad idea. I transferred all of my stuff (I thought) to my boyfriend's bag and off we went to the station. Once we were sat in the train, I reached for his bag to pin on my bib.
Horror struck. FUCK!
I left my bib in my bag at home, in a back compartment! Thank god the train had not yet departed from the station. Just before the train doors closed, I managed to sprint out and race home on the bike to grab my bib. Lesson learned: do not transfer your stuff to another bag last minute. My boyfriend and I ended up making it to one train later, leaving me far less time to get ready, but enough to just make the start.
Emphasis on 'just'; although I had some 25 minutes to spare to get to my corral once my swelteringly hot warm up was done, the queue for the portapotties was terribly long and the whole process was utterly inefficient. When it was my turn, I had 4 minutes before the race started, and I did not even know where exactly my corral was. My boyfriend was a true saint and scoped the way in the mean time, so he ran with me (in the heat, with a backpack and regular sneakers) to the corral, where I managed to wedge myself through an opening in the fencing with 30 seconds left. The adrenaline was already rushing through my veins, I can tell you that.

Race (or "the fall")

Still stressed out from the pre-race situation, the gun went off. Showtime.
The start was quite broad but roughly 200 meters out there was a funnel. It was busy as heck and I had to slow down significantly, but I knew weaving would be a bad choice so tried to be patient and just go with the flow. Within the first five minutes of the race, the trouble began. I could feel my blood sugar dropping. I had a significant amount of insulin on board to account for the usual rush of adrenaline during a race, which generally brings up my blood sugar considerably, so the fact that I was already dropping brought on a slight panic. I downed a gel in an attempt to divert a low blood sugar, almost choking on it in the process. Luckily, I could feel it working and bringing my blood sugar back to a stable trajectory pretty quickly, but knew I wasn't out of the woods yet, as the chances of my blood sugar starting to drop again would be considerable. I also noticed pretty soon that my stomach wasn't too happy about the gel, despite never having experienced GI distress from fueling on my runs ever before. Looking back, I think I was already heading into dehydration territory at this point.
The strategy for the race was to hoover just above 4:25 min/km for the first 5k, settle into a goal pace of 4:20 - 4:25 between km 6 - 16, and empty the tank in the last 5k. The first 5k went fairly well; after the group dispersed a bit, I managed to pick up to a comfortable 4:28. By the 5k mark, however, the heat started to get to me and my stomach was still feeling a bit iffy. At this point, the course had shifted from city to running between the meadows, with little shade. Since I carried a handheld with water + electrolytes that I could continuously sip from, I used the most of the cups at the water posts to dunk the contents over my head. The volunteers also handed out sponges soaked in cold water, and some very kind spectators sprayed cool water with garden hoses, which was truly a blessing. Thanks to these cooling methods, I still felt relatively good at this point, but had a suspicion that I would empty the tank too early by increasing my pace to below 4:25, so I tried to simply stick to the current pace until at least the half way mark. That would still allow me to reach my sub 1:35 goal.
At the 10k mark, the struggle became real, however. Between km 6 and 12, there were no water posts and there was very little shade as well. My stomach still hurt, a weird sensation hoovering between the pain of a side stitch but in my whole abdomen, and nausea. Knowing this could be due to dehydration, I continued to sip water in hopes of it getting better, which eventually did happen. Mentally, I kept reminding myself that I was in control and to keep my form relaxed, but speeding up to goal pace did not seem like a sensible option. The opposite, actually, not dropping my pace was challenge enough. Having fallen back slightly by km 10, I tried to pick up to 4:28 again between km 11 and 12, but hardly managed. And then the trouble really began: by km 13, I could feel that my blood sugar was low. Now, I imagine that for my pancreatically unchallenged pals, it can be hard to understand what running with low blood sugar feels like, so I'll try to explain it: it's like you're moving through molasses, everything feels 10 times heavier than it should be. In addition, your brain is literally lacking the energy it needs to function, causing brain fog and making it difficult to assess a situation. Everything in me wanted to stop, lay down on the side of the road and just stop existing for a little bit. And to that, add a layer of panic: a low blood sugar can get seriously dangerous and can lead to death if not managed well. Now, I would never advise to run through a low blood sugar. I know my body well, however, and with a far too slow working brain, made the following assessment when I had downed a gel:

• The gel should bring me up fairly quickly;
• There's not as much active insulin on board anymore, reducing the risk of the gel not raising my blood sugar to an adequate level or of my blood sugar continuing to drop despite the gel;
• If I keep running, there is the chance that my body will keep producing adrenaline, which causes an additional dump of glycogen in my blood stream, thus also raising my blood sugar, whereas if I stop, this would be unlikely to happen;
• If I feel worse, I can stop at anytime.

I put all of my mental and physical energy into keeping my legs turning over, fighting that overwhelming urge to stop and lay down. I did slow down quite a bit, dropping to a low point of a 4:42 min/km for km 16. But as the feeling was 'stable', if you will, and not getting worse, I kept running, reminding myself that I was over halfway. At some point in this chunk of the race, a spectator yelled at a woman behind me that she was 25th female, which pushed her to overtake me, but to be honest, I was so wrapped up in my own pain that I did not give shit.
Then, as it often goes with blood sugar issues, like a flip of the switch I felt better all of a sudden around the 17k marker. Invigorated by averting blood sugar disaster and by the idea of having less than 5k left, I felt like I could pick up the pace again. Gradually, rather than all at once, but simply the fact that I could pick up the pace again, brought back some of my confidence and enjoyment. Don't get me wrong, it was still hard as hell, but compared to the fog of anguish I'd been running in previously, this was manageable. By km 18, I started slowly picking people to take over. There was one woman in sight who I overtook, but then she overtook me again, and we kept pushing each other to keep going (we even briefly spoke to cheer each other on) up until km 20, when I left her behind me and did not see her again (later, I saw that she finished a couple of seconds after me; in the unlikely event that she happens to read this: thank you for pushing me!!). At this point, I was vaguely aware that sub 1:35 would not be possible anymore, but I tried to win any second I could. The final two 2 were brutal and felt endless, and oh boy was I happy when I crossed the finish line.

Post-race and aftermath

As soon as I stopped running and slowed down to a walk, my legs turned into noodles. I felt quite uncoordinated and nausea hit me like a ton of bricks. Looking back, I think I might've suffered from heat exhaustion, if not mild heat stroke, as these feelings stayed with me for quite a while and I also started shivering, despite being hot still. I received my medal, forced down the banana and orange slices handed out after the finish (this was such a nice touch by the race organization!), as well as two cups of water. Managed to keep it down, and the nausea dissipated after a while. Unsurprisingly, I felt some disappointment over missing even my B-goal, which I'd thought of as squarely within reach. Still, my most intense emotion was relief for making it to the finish line, given the circumstances. I texted with my coach a bit, who also cheered me on. I know that I could've run far faster on a different day, but not on this day, not with the heat and blood sugar issues. I did truly give it my all and left it all on the course, and that is a satisfying feeling, no matter the outcome. I ended up finishing 17th in my age group and 22nd female overall.
To celebrate, I met up with my cheer squad, consisting of my boyfriend and some friends (I call them my cheer squad, but they missed me because the live tracker was lagging) and went for lunch, before heading back home. The rest of the day was spent taking some gentle strolls to aid recovery, relaxing, and eating a ton of good food (with lingering nausea, but hey, with great athleticism comes great eating responsibility, as David Roche says). Later, the rest of the races that day ended up being cancelled because the medical staff could not keep up with the influx of runners suffering from heat stress. The high turned out the be 27 degrees, with constant sun and little wind. Knowing this, I am extra glad I finished safely.
So, just over 24 hours later, what are we left with? Sore legs, that's for sure. I'm lightly bummed out that I did not perform as I had expected, but this is combined with the thrill of still having a goal to chase, that I know is within my reach, especially when I stack another training cycle on top of this. Overall, I am happy with what I managed to do, given the circumstances. I feel confident that the fitness I have gained in this training cycle is an excellent starting point for a new training cycle, and I know that this race experience has taught me a lot, from blood sugar management and not forgetting my bib (hah) to how far I can really push myself. The second half of my training block was an absolute win in itself. Running 5 days a week with an average of 54km seemed absolutely inconceivable a year ago, when I was not even a month into my running journey. It's insane where a couple of months of consistency can bring you.
For now, I'm going to rest and recover, reflect some more and run some easy miles for the next couple of days. After that, I'll shift my focus on the 5 and 10k for a little bit, before hopefully starting the prep for a half marathon redo in the fall. Whatever happens, I'll pick a race with very low chances of hot weather, ha.
Made with a new race report generator created by u/herumph.

My childhood dog, my little Pancho, a 17 year old deer head chihuahua, passed away last Sunday. This will be a long post, and maybe this is me seeking comfort from strangers, or maybe this is me trying to get a more objective view on what happened, I don't think I know for sure. I am physically sick with grief and guilt, and while I know these feelings are a normal part of the grieving process, I've already wept and sobbed my story out to all my friends and family who would listen and have nowhere else to turn to. Maybe this is too self indulgent, maybe I'll delete this later. I don't know. But here goes.
What happened?

• Pancho started to have an increased breathing rate late Thursday. He was still eating, but he was also very lethargic. I took care of him that day, and decided to give him Friday just to monitor his condition and see how he was feeling. No improvement, so I took him in to the vet on Saturday morning.
• He had fluid buildup in his lungs and body, and had an infection the vets couldn't pinpoint without an ultrasound, so I paid to get the studies done and was prescribed vetmedin and everything else you get for a dog with CHF (I will add, I wasn't even aware at the time that it was CHF because I didn't ask the vet many follow up questions, I found that out later by obsessively googling his symptoms.)
• They told me that since he had eaten at the vet, I could take him home and give him his medicine and wouldn't need to hospitalize him unless I wanted to, and to bring him in on Saturday for a follow up once he was feeling better. I started crying, I asked if I had been negligent, if this was my fault. They reassured me that these conditions can develop rapidly, that I didn't know what I didn't know, and that it was nobody's fault.
• The next morning, he was really weak and cold, so I put him under the covers with me and just hugged him close to try to get some heat back in him. In that moment, I think he seemed as responsive and comfortable as he could have been. He touched my face with his nose. He was still able to breath.
• I took him to the kitchen to try to give him his first pill, and everything went south almost immediately. When I picked him up, he spasmed and peed a little, so I put him down to clean him up, and just the sight of him on the floor, not moving, breathing these small shallow breaths… in my gut, that's when it really sunk in how bad it was. When I picked him up again to try to give him his pill with a little bit of water, his head lolled over, and his breathing changed from rapid to extremely slow and labored.
• That's when it hit me like a truck that he was dying. I'm a 30 year old woman, but I currently live with my family, so I rushed upstairs to wake up my brothers. I sobbed like a madwoman. I wrapped him in his favorite blanket, sat with him and my brothers on the couch, and held him until he stopped breathing. And it was over

Why didn't I take him to the vet sooner?

• He was old. He was old and I didn't want to take him in and seem like an overly sensitive hypochondriac freaking out over regular signs on aging and racking up a bunch of vet bills.
• More selfishly, I was scared of being judged for being a bad owner, or of being asked to pay exorbitant bills for procedures or surgeries he needed. He'd had this cough for a while now, according to my phone archives by at least in 2022 if not earlier, and no other symptoms other than what I had perceived at the time as regular signs of aging (he was still active up until early mid 2023, really started to slow down after he went blind due to glaucoma.) I remember googling stuff about the cough, about his energy levels, about how much he should be sleeping, about how much he should be moving now that he had gone blind, and a lot of the results said that decreased energy was normal, that not moving around as much was normal for a dog his age and especially for one who had lost his eyesight, that older dogs are more likely to develop allergies as they age. But I was scared of going in for this cough and getting asked about it, getting asked "How long has he been coughing?" "Oh, for about a year now." and getting the news that the cough was cancer actually and I had killed my dog by not bringing him in sooner.
• It was like, if I didn't get a diagnosis, then it wasn't real. But I was also always checking him, I checked him for lumps, I moved his paws and frisked his body, I pressed on his chest and eyes, to make sure nothing hurt, and that he was still comfortable. It seemed like he was. He was still sleeping well, he was still eating. Sometimes with less enthusiasm, on those days I would feed him his favorite dog approved snacks instead (bananas, blueberries, bits of rotisserie chicken), and he ate those. Even the day before he died, he was still eating, so we didn't hospitalize him.
• So now I'm the world's biggest asshole, because the cough \was** a sign of deeper health issues. I didn't take it seriously, I avoided the harsh reality of what it could mean, and I set myself up for the kind of traumatic passing that ended up happening. I got what I wanted, I got what I deserved. But HE didn't deserve to go like that.
• People keep telling me that I was a wonderful owner, that I took such good care of him, and that I clearly loved him a lot and was always with him. But I'm a coward. Yes I took him to the vet for a couple of different issues (a tumor in his mouth, a weird callus on his paw, one time he licked a smidge of chocolate syrup and I freaked out and took him to emergency immediately), but I never mentioned the cough. I thought it was allergies, I wanted it to be allergies. I was scared of living with the shadow of his death, I was scared of the vet bills, of being in and out of surgeries, and medicines, and seeing him actively waste away. Through inaction, I just chose to have all of that happen anyway, but in a way where I wasn't actively aware that it was happening and I got to live in blissful ignorance while my poor baby got worse and worse.
• EVEN WHEN HE STARTED SHOWING SERIOUS SYMPTOMS OF LATE STAGE HEART FAILURE, I WAITED A DAY. I could have taken him in on Friday, and I waited a day! I took him in first thing Saturday morning instead when it was clear he wasn't getting any better.
• AND THE WATER. Why did I think it was a good idea to drop feed him water? Since he wasn't eating very much and was also having bouts of constipation, I thought using a dropper to give him some water might help his stomach. But if his body was retaining so much fluid, and I was adding more, then what was I doing? I might have drowned him! Giving him water to on that Sunday morning might have caused the crash that lead to him suffocating.
• How can I live with myself? How can I live with my awful stupid choices? This is the same song and dance so many other pet owners go through, I know. I've prowled this forum plenty over the last week, and have had nothing but sympathy and grace for other owners going through similar emotional torture over how their beloved pets died. But I just can't get out of the hole alone. I don't feel like I deserve to get out of the hole at all.

Why I feel guilty:

• I let him languish for an entire year. A whole year of exhibiting heart failure symptoms, untreated. One full year of being tired, frail, skinny, and coughing, and all I did was ADD MILK TO HIS FOOD like an idiot, thinking the extra fat and calcium would be good for him and help him put on some weight (my dog hated water and never drank it throughout his whole life, so we always had to add extra water to his wet food to try to keep him hydrated, until eventually he even started to reject the water in the food so I swapped it for milk and he regained his food enthusiasm and started eating again, but as I understand it now that might have been a supremely bad choice and been quite bad for his pancreas.)
• Like the absolute asshole I am, I just assumed this behavior was normal and inevitable for a dog his age. I was just focused on being with him and keeping him comfy, like I had basically already given up on him. I could have been treating these symptoms, I could have given him a better quality of life throughout this last year, I could have maybe given him more time with us if I had just ASKED ABOUT HIS COUGH ONCE.
• Maybe taking him home and not hospitalizing him was good, so I could be with him when he died. Maybe not starting him on the meds for CHF was ok, since he had bad kidneys, and apparently diuretics can cause kidney failure. Maybe the treatment would have killed him sooner. If he was in heart failure for the past two years, that's about the maximum amount of time a dog is supposed to have after showing clinical symptoms. I keep reading about CHF over and over again, because it's all I can think about, and it seems like it's a total crapshoot of a condition, whether the medicine helps them or not. And I know dog's aren't immortal, and he lived a pretty long life all things considered. So maybe I did ok. But I can't look at the reasoning behind my choices, and my inaction, and feel like a responsible owner.
• I feel like a monster, an absolute and total failure as an owner.

FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800 u/BakeGullible9975 u/Didnotseemecomein and u/medium_jock
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
The plot thickens!
Previous First [Next](link)
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
The Rundi pilot maneuvered his ship around a chunk of space debris, cutting low as he watched the slow and leisurely path of the rocket as it began on its trajectory towards the moon. Radar was almost impossible to use in the deadly debris field these humans called an orbit, so it was up to his eyes to make out any incoming hostiles.
They circled low and then wide around the slow-moving rocket, keeping their distance while also keeping an eye out. It was easy enough, as the drone was covered in cameras and sensors, which allowed them to see from almost every angle. A human might have been better at this, but right now they were the only ones they could trust.
[…]
A green folder rested atop the lectern as the President of the UN gave her halting, and to the chairwoman it seemed, unenthusiastic speech. The humans down below didn't seem to notice, making her wonder if she was simply imagining things, though a part of her said that was not the case.
She had been suspicious of the UN president from the very beginning, the very beginning when she was given power after the first launch of the enterprise, and they had been forced to deal with her during treaty negotiations. At every step there seemed to be some sort of obstacle, something wrong, some reason that the humans could just not accept. It went on behind closed doors and in quiet whispered conversations. But luckily for them, people like Adam Vir and Admiral Kelly had been there to smooth things over between the two factions.
The chairwoman knew better than most, that there were only a few humans in the galaxy holding everything together.
And the last thing she wanted was bad relations, or to go to war with this species. It would be a nightmare.
She shifted in her seat as she listened to the speech. The valley below her still had traces of smoke let off by burning so much fossil fuel at once. She imagined that such a stunt wasn't entirely great for the atmosphere of the planet, though as far as she knew humans tended to run on sustainable clean energy these days.
The Chairwoman stepped down from the little podium and into the back where she could not be seen, leaning in so she could hear the words whispered from her assistant,
"The drones are deployed, and so far we have not met any resistance.”
She nodded slowly,
"Good work, keep an eye out."
[…]
The UN president felt her fingers digging into the soft paper of the green folder. The red one was lying discarded under the lectern, and she was having trouble concentrating, forcing herself to remember that this wasn't over. She glanced into the crowd, expecting to see that strange white face staring up at her from the throng of people, but there was nothing.
Had she seen it as in her imagination, or did she really see an alien face staring back at her?
She glanced upwards, towards where the rocket had vanished, only half paying attention to the practiced words that dribbled from her mouth. She finished her speech and the people below clapped and cheered heartily, though she didn't much feel like clapping with them.
She turned on her heel and walked down to the back of the stage to where her entourage was waiting for her. Admiral Massie was sitting on one end and Admiral Kelly was sitting at the other, the two of them doing their damndest to ignore each other at all costs.
She sat down next to Admiral Massie, arms crossed over her chest as he leaned in to speak with her.
"That didn't exactly go as planned."
He muttered softly.
"It will if your men are ready."
She snapped back, her palms cold and sweaty.
Admiral Massie nodded,
"Of course, they should come out when they reach the densest part of the debris field, that way we can make it look like some unexpected collision."
He glanced towards the lectern,
"So I would keep a hold of that red folder of yours."
On the other set of chairs, Admiral Kelly was giving them a sidelong glance. Everyone knew that she was in Admiral Vir's camp, licking his boots at every opportunity. It would be within their best interest to keep silent when she was around.
The UN president leaned back in her seat,
"You should be on your way, Admiral. We will have time to talk later."
He stood and nodded slowly,
"Of course madame president."
He turned to walk away, catching the eye of Admiral Kelly as he stepped past. The two of them didn't much like each other, though as the head of the OGI (Office of Galactic intelligence) Admiral Massie had enough pull to keep Kelly in her place.
The UN president turned her head away. Not wanting to draw attention to herself.
[…]
Admiral Kelly glanced over at the UN president as Admiral Massie passed by. There was something about those two spending time together that she didn't like. Granted it was more than likely the two of them were having some sweaty, wrinkly liaisons out of hours which she didn't really want to think about, but if that was the case then he could easily be pressing his planetary isolationist views off on her.
Kelly did not think highly of the UN presidency. Right now, it seemed mostly concerned with power and political favors with the people, rather than doing the right thing. Plus, she found the president herself to be superficially charming, but easily manipulated by the wrong people. Fear mongering worked the best on her, which is why she worried about Massie and his effect on her to begin with.
She found herself digging her nails into her palms as she thought about it.
”Please help us.”
Admiral Kelly shot up in her seat looking around as she tried to find the source of the noise, or the voice. She turned in her seat expecting to find someone whispering in her ear, but there was nothing. She pressed at the implant along the side of her neck wondering if someone had called her and she just hadn't noticed?
”Look up.”
Jolted again, lifting her eyes towards the sky and the burning sun. She threw up a hand to block her vision, and as she did, she thought she saw a shape floating there against the backdrop of the sun.
She squinted hard trying to make it out but was having trouble.
”Now look into the crowd.”
She turned her head down, still not sure where the sound could be coming from, but as she looked into the crowd, she saw a strange sight. One of the people was wearing a dark hoodie, and was turned away from the direction which the rest of the crowd was facing. Their hood was pulled low, but ever so subtly, they lifted their head to reveal a porcelain white face, with large dark eyes.
Admiral Kelly went very still as she stared at the starborn.
“Not a starborn, a halfbreed. My name is Eris, I am Admiral Vir's... daughter”
Oh... oh, yes she had heard about the starborn hybrid from one of his reports.
"What do you want."
She mouthed quietly.
“We need your help, the UN president is planning to have Admiral Vir Killed, and Admiral Massie is on his way to make the order, please, you have to do something."
Admiral Kelly jolted to her feet, very quickly glancing at the UN president in shock and horror before she was able to capture her emotions. The UN president looked up to her sudden movement, and Admiral Kelly had to fight to keep her face neutral as the woman looked up at her.
"Are you feeling well Admiral?”
She could feel the sweat dripping down her face and the nape of her neck, but she remained as calm as possible as she took a deep breath,
"I... Am suddenly very dizzy. I think it's the heat."
"You should sit down, have someone bring you some water."
The woman said, her voice calm and clear as if she hadn't just ordered the murder of Adam Vir.
"No I... I think I need to walk for a minute and find some shade. You will excuse me?"
The UN president shrugged and turned back to staring at the sky, giving Admiral Kelly time to step forward and hurry after General Massi's retreating figure.
[…]
General Massie stepped into mission control and walked down the blank empty corridors. No one was here, they were all either in the control room or out celebrating the successful launch. It had been a sight to see, two-thousand-year-old technology working for one more time, but personally General Massie saw it as completely obsolete and a useless waste of government capital.
That was something they could have been using to help fortify earth's defense nexus. Out of all the useless things Admiral Vir had supported, at least he had agreed that they needed SOME form of defense against extraterrestrial attack.
General Massie made a face…
Though he wouldn't doubt Admiral Vir would have been totally fine leaving their planet with its pants down in order to let those Xenos fuck them over.
Everyone and their dog knew that Admiral Vir preferred alien cock over his own kind.
The thought made Admiral Massie cringe.
It was a well-kept secret among the UNSC, but the man wasn't nearly as secretive as he liked to think he was. Rumors of his infatuation with the stupid blue beetle alien had reached command almost as soon as it began. The only reason they didn't allow it to leak was that it would make the UNSC look bad to the rest of earth.
And Jupiter how he hated that man.
Stupid, juvenile egotistical xeno fucker!
Today was the day all of that came to an end!
He cut right, just before the doors to mission control and walked down two more hallways, finally opening a small side door into, what might have looked from the outside, like an equipment closet. He stepped over a mop and bucket and sat down at an old console, which he fired up with the flick of a button.
"Flight 1 this is Earth 1 over."
"Roger earth one this if slight one, in position over."
He turned on the screen, giving himself time to look the radar over, as twenty dots appeared on screen. Those were twenty Thunderhawks they had slowly appropriated over the intervening year.
With a place as big as the universe to cover, it was pretty easy to lose a few jets in the shuffle. He could see them now, illuminated as little green dots on his screen, hiding in the debris.
"Flight one this is Earth one, Operation “After Apollo” is go. Now remember boys and girls, make it look like an accident. Over."
*"Roger that Earth one. Over and out."
[…]
"You TRAITOR!"
Admiral Massie spun in his seat, eyes wide and wild as Admiral Kelly stood in the doorway. She could feel her skin growing hot with absolute rage as she stalked forward over the open floor. In one hand she held up the small recording device Conn had handed to her outside the building, and on it held proof of this man's order. On the screen behind him twenty little dots burst to life.
She was too late.
The man slowly got to his feet as Kelly aimed her handgun at him, her grip steady, her aim true.
"Call off your dogs."
She snarled,
Admiral Massie slowly lifted his hands, before slowly leaning forward in his seat towards the intercom button. She stepped forward, watching him intently as he leaned over the console pressing down on the button.
"Flight one this is earth one..."
Her eyes flickered up to the screen waiting to see them pause.
But before she knew what was happening an elbow came up striking her on the hand and causing the gun to spin out of her grip. Admiral Massie turned and tackled her to the floor, his nearly 300 lb body crushing her to the floor.
The wind was knocked out of her and she gasped as he struggled to pin her to the ground.
Her hat had flown off and her bun became undone as he drew back a fist to punch her. She was able to block it with her forearms as he raged and went for her face. The blows rained down on her from above with an onslaught of power she wasn't expecting but should have.
She took another gasping breath, and then with a surge of adrenaline she bucked, throwing him forward where she grabbed one of his arms and bucked again, forcing him to his side and onto his back. Still gripping his arm, she threw herself sideways, throwing her legs over his chest and struggling with his arm to pull it flat.
He kicked and grabbed at her legs with his other hand painfully gripping her calves as his nails dug into her skin and drew blood. The pain was incredible, but she finally got his arm down tucked tight to her chest, her legs across his chest, and then she jerked her hips sharply upward.
Admiral Massie screamed as his elbow snapped backwards.
She let go of him and scrambled towards the console, but at the last moment he grabbed her by the foot and hauled her back to the ground, one arm hanging limp and useless at his side. He clawed at her with one hand, and she rolled onto her back, kicking up at his face with her boot catching him square in the chin.
He staggered back as she crawled to the console and reached to adjust the frequency, ready to call in lunar support.
There was a sharp click behind her, and she froze, turning in her seat to find Admiral Massie standing behind her gun held in his good hand.
Blood leaked from his nose and down onto the front of his uniform, staining the grey fabric red,
"Nice try, Kelly."
[…]
Donovan Red waited, spinning slowly as he watched the progress of the distant rocket. Inside his helmet his breathing was cold and calm as, ranging all around him, his other men and women waited as well. Their ships had been outfitted with proper weapons as they had ridden here in the cargo hold of the Omen. The group of them weren't soldiers or trained fighter pilots, so he didn't imagine this would be easy, but it was going to have to do.
"Red, this is Apollo 11 do you copy?”
"Yeah Cinderella, I copy."
"See anything?"
"Nope not a..."
He paused,
"Wait..."
There was something, something he thought he saw detach itself from another piece of space junk,
"Hold that thought Apollo."
He detached from his own bit of space junk and inched forward.
A thunderhawk? What would one of those be doing here?
It began to accelerate.
He accelerated after it.
Up ahead the rocket was growing larger and larger in his view.
“Thunderhawk has made lock.”
The cool female voice said from his console.
"Oh shit, Admiral r-“
He didn't have time to finish his sentence as a small ball-like-silver ship came pelting down from nowhere, blasting the Thunderhawk in the wing with a sharp burst of laser fire. It's wing exploded and it went careening in the opposite direction as the silver ball whizzed past.
"What the fuck!?"
He turned to fly after it, but was stopped.
"Red, this is Wendy, stand down that's a Rundi UAV."
"Rundi? I thought it was the Rundi we were worried about!?”
He called in confusion.
"Yeah, but that thunderhawk had locked in on Apollo 11. It looks like the Rundi are helping."
He grunted and cursed under his breath,
"Boys and girls, if you see a silver ball stand down, those are on our side."
Just then another Thunderhawk shot over his head. He cursed again and pulled himself into a sharp upward turn cutting after the Thunderhawk and locking on. His lock cut off their attempts to shoot down the rocket, and they were forced to dive under as he followed after. He followed, spinning right and left around debris as the Thunderhawk attempted to escape.
It cut upward, just in time for a bright pink jet with graffiti words on the side to shoot out of nowhere.
The Thunderhawk exploded in a cloud of debris as Wendy roared by.
"Good shot, girl!”
He said over his radio.
"Thanks boss. Now let’s give them hell!"
[…]
Admiral Vir floated before the console, knuckles white and unable to do anything. A silent explosion flashed in his vision to the right as quickly as it had begun. Richards and Chavez started with wide eyes and dropped mouths.
"Admiral what the hell is going on!?”
Adam took a deep breath,
"It seems as if we are under attack."
The two of them exchanged glances,
"From who? What the fuck!?!"
Adam turned where he stood to look at the two of them,
"I am sorry I got you two into this mess, but the isolationists have been gunning for me for a few months now, and it seems as if now things have come to a head.”
"What are we going to do!"
"Radio Houston."
Chavez hurried to do as ordered, but when she did, they heard only static,
"Shit... Something is jamming our coms."
Adam took a deep breath,
"Well I guess all we have is Donovan to protect us. Lets' hope they do it right."
[…]
Admiral Massie laughed,
"You're as dumb as you look Kelly."
She stood, slowly wiping blood from her cheek as she turned to look down the barrel of the gun. Her own gun.
She didn't generally tend to agree with Massie, but this time he did have a point. Surprisingly though she was very calm,
"You aren't going to get away with this."
She glanced over to where the little silver recording device lay in the shadows under one of the chairs.
Massie was too amped to notice.
"Doesn't matter. I will have done my duty to my planet and my people, saving them from alien lovers like you and that bastard Vir."
"Whose Idea was this, the President or yours?"
She held her hands out to the side.
"Do you think that dipshit was smart enough to come up with a plan like mine?"
Kelly raised an eyebrow,
"Is it wise to incriminate your friends along with you?"
"That bitch? Heh, I could care less. And if I am going down, she is going down with me. The president may think it was all her idea, but it was mine all along, she was following my orders, whether she believes it or not, and once Adam Vir and YOU are dead, then it doesn't matter what we did, because diplomatic relations will dissolve, and it will be all over."
He lifted the gun to her face,
"Goodbye Kelly."
She remained very still as the shadow fell over him from behind,
"May I say one last thing?”
He paused.
"Turn around."
"Very funny!”
He lifted the gun again and pulled the trigger.
There was a sharp crack and thud as metal hit metal. Kelly flinched and held up her hands, but opened her eye after a moment as no pain came.
Admiral Massie lay on the floor face down.
Kelly reached down quickly to grab her gun, looking up to where Sunny was standing in the doorway holding her pearlescent white spear. Behind her floated the starborn Conn and the hybrid.
She took a deep breath,
"Great timing you three.”
Sunny nodded,
"Anytime."
Admiral Kelly turned and lunged for the comms, switching the frequency to the lunar station only to find she couldn't get through,
"Damn it."
She cursed, turning to look at Sunny and the others,
"I was too late, the ships have already been deployed."
She paused and looked down, grabbing the recording device from off the floor tossing it to the hybrid who caught it with some difficulty,
"Run that to one of the media outlets, convince them it is important and leak it as soon as you can. We don't want her to have time to cover her own ass."
Eris nodded and shot off in the other direction.
Sunny knelt down to help her restrain Admiral Massie.
Just then the sound of feet came thundering up the hall and they looked up to see the Chairwoman of the GA and her assistants skid around a corner. Sunny's eyes narrowed as she crouched low leveling her spear.
"Did you catch him?"
The Chairwoman asked,
"No thanks to you."
Sunny snarled, but the chairwoman waved her off,
"I lost contact with my drones, but they should be out helping to protect Admiral Vir. I am sorry I couldn't do more, but it was all I could do not to show my hand too early."
Admiral Kelly stood slowly,
"You knew about this?"
The charwoman shook her head,
"Not this specifically, but I have been trying to find the source of the assassination attempts on Admiral Vir's life. I've had discreet escorts on him for the past few months while I tried getting in contact with my people in the criminal underworld and I called the hit on him with those pirates, knowing who Captain Kell was, hoping that he could get more information out of the pirates that I could."
Sunny stared at her rage flickering across her face,
"You called a hit on him!"
The charwoman did not seem perturbed,
"Those pirates couldn't have... How do the humans say... Hit their way out of a paper bag. I have been attempting to come in contact with the leader of the anti-alliance for the past few months. I have been trying to convince them I am on their side, and that was part of my ruse, as well as knowing Admiral Vir was captain Kell. During my investigation it became clear that someone within the UN was involved though I couldn't have said who."
"And why should we believe you aren't just covering your own ass?”
The chairwoman hissed,
”Do you really think I want to make an enemy out of the strongest species in the galaxy!? Not on your life! I am not stupid. Besides, I owe Admiral Vir my life. I admit I have done some irreparable things in order to keep the alliance going, but those moves were calculated, and Vir was always protected.”
[…]
One of the silver UAV's exploded and Red had to dodge to the side to avoid the flying debris. He cut right and then left keeping as fast as he could possibly go as he cut up through the chunks of metal and locked onto the back of a Thunderhawk. There was a sharp click and then a silent explosion which he rolled out of the way to avoid. He had sent one of his men off to make contact with earths forces for backup.
They were good, but these men and women were made for combat, and despite their best work only four out of twenty of them had been destroyed, and their numbers were dwindling fast. He cut right before one of the Thunderhawk’s, forcing it to turn away from the rocket and cut down in another direction. He could only imagine the fear of those inside the rocket as they watched helplessly at the fight raging on around them.
He spun down and under, cutting off another Thunderhawk coming in the opposite direction.
There was no way they were going to keep up with this for long.
Their only chance was earths forces reacting quickly.
Previous First [Next](link)
Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.