Homework workbook mathematics course 2 free download

math

2008.01.24 23:05 math

This subreddit is for discussion of mathematics. All posts and comments should be directly related to mathematics, including topics related to the practice, profession and community of mathematics.
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2013.04.05 02:02 yesladdd A Level

alevel is a subreddit for A Level students and aspirants. It is a place to ask, share, and learn about any A Level subject, exam, or plan. You can also find resources, memes, and friends on alevel. Join and have fun!
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2009.05.14 18:02 jeffropuff Teaching: news, resources, and tips for teachers of all levels of education

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2024.05.14 01:51 LeftoverGarbage The Best IPTV provider in USA and Why ?

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Seamless access across a wide range of devices from any location will still define top IPTV experiences in 2024. Premier providers like 4KIPTVSpot commit to adding new device types and platforms regularly based on customer demands. Their universal compatibility ensures entertainment is always available however and wherever you choose to watch.
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Industry forecasts suggest 4K and 8K live streams will become far more commonplace in 2024. 4KIPTVSpot pledges to deliver the bulk of its library at minimum 4K quality by next year to satisfy increasing resolution expectations. Their extensive network upgrades ensure customers enjoy cinema-grade entertainment directly on compatible screens at home.
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IPTV subscriptions moving into 2024 that offer high degrees of customization and personalization will satisfy diverse subscriber needs most effectively. Services like 4KIPTVSpot enable highly tailored channel bundles, playback options, user profiles and more for ultimate control. Their innovative feature-sets keep the experience feeling fresh for years.
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Keeping pace with growing demands requires networks upgrading constantly. Top IPTV providers dedicate sizable budgets to server improvements that guarantee reliability as channel loads increase heading into 2024 and beyond. Premium IPTV promises redundant capacities to deliver an uninterrupted viewing experience under even the heaviest traffic.
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Multi-year plans from reputable suppliers remain the most cost-effective option heading into the new year.4KIPTVSpot great long-term value starting at just $49.99 annually through 2024. Their competitive pricing and consistent feature additions over time make them a leading choice.
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Any issues that might occur with extensive programming require fast responses. 4KIPTVSpot commits to award-winning 24/7 multi-channel support globally into 2024 to solve problems swiftly so the focus stays on enjoying entertainment. Their customer-first approach leads the industry.
In summary, prioritizing these important criteria when selecting an IPTV provider positions you to fully capitalize on all the exciting advancements coming to the industry in 2024 and take your entertainment experience to new heights in the new year. 4KIPTVSpot stands out as the top choice.
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submitted by LeftoverGarbage to iptvspot1 [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 01:41 LucidEats How to make the current report system work!

I don't think anyone can argue with how they feel when they are reported and temporarily banned, be it for 30 minutes 48 hours or whatever.
It is frustrating, especially if you are someone that plays beyond the free levels and have over many years put actual money in the game.
Everyone can report now, in every game and people can group report just because someone says 'report this player'... sheep follow and report. The majority of players have faced that - but that doesn't make it right, or a fair system.
There are of course clear differences as to why people should be reported - player constantly feeding with no regard for safety and fights vs 4 in jungle solo against someone who has died alot through targeting due to being support with support items are two different matters- your allies wont see your gameplay normally just snippets when they themselves have died and report from there.
Receiving a non play ban in this circumstance for example is confusing and counter productive. It alienates peoples, stops them playing the game, and disincentives them from actually putting real money into the game.
Lets be honest, real player numbers have dwindled its taken 8 months for the game to receive a gameplay update, and the community is feeling let down.
It is clear we need some change, and we can start with the bug bear so here are my suggestions:
1- Introduce a comments section to the overwatch reporting section - those overseeing must input feedback as to why you have received a ban
2 - Provide a representation as to how close you are to a ban to encourage 'better' behaviour e.g a scale 1-10 reports in x amount of time that is only visible to the player
3- Provide a pop up warning saying you have received x amount of reports in x amount of time, if you incur further reports in the next x amount of time you will be banned for x amount of time.
4- Openly categorise the infringements showing the players privately where they stand. There are differences between being banned for cheating against playing a bad game or having a momentary lack of communication dexterity. Just mute those who cannot communicate for a couple of games, rather than stop them playing.
5- Push more people into LP and increase the number of LP games from reports as opposed to stop them from playing for hours/days/weeks on end as doing so is counter productive.
Ultimately... I know the devs don't care about 99% of the gamers, they just want to make money from them. They are only bothered about esports.
But there seriously wont be much of a community left if they cannot realise gamers are human, and we all share the same characteristics and continue to punish players for those attributes.
I am speaking as someone who has over 14 thousand hours in this game, with a guild which was active but is now only largely active when there is something going on like an event.
Were not fooled by the current event - the prospect of have to buy MULTIPLE 'battle passes' to complete the extra lanes of the acts is pretty despicable and shows there is little understanding of how the current reporting system is affecting the player based. Trying to gauge money from loyal players to fill the gaps from those you've pushed away is like car dealerships raising prices in a recession.
Hopefully some of what i've said will resonate with someone, and perhaps there will be some other intelligent suggestions below.... then again...
This is reddit....
submitted by LucidEats to DotA2 [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 01:35 pgcfriend2 I Have A Quick Question About How My Homework and Final Project Are Evaluated

I just completed the CD50x Introduction to Programming with Python course. I submitted all my homework and my final project. Right after I submitted my final project, it was accepted and I downloaded my certificate.
I read somewhere on the website that you're supposed to get at least 70% to pass the course. Does the automatic checking evaluate the 70% somehow or will I get another notice?
submitted by pgcfriend2 to cs50 [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 01:35 TheLastRiter I never should have gone to this farmhouse alone. [Part 1]

My hands are shaking as I write this, I have to document my story incase something happens to me in the next few days. I'm not sure where to begin but I suppose here is better than anywhere.
I've always had this weird feeling, this sensation inside of me that I was older than I actually was. By the time I was twelve, my soul felt as though it was forty. By the time I reached twenty, I felt like an old woman. I would watch people around my age acting foolish, and I always thought, "What a bunch of children." So it was no surprise to anyone that when I turned twenty-one, I left my hometown and college and decided to spend the summer alone by renting an old farmhouse in an insignificant town on the edge of an even more insignificant border.
When I told my mother, she had a veritable fit, unable to find the words. She spluttered and raged around me for days before I finally left early one morning to avoid her guilt and frustration with my choices. I was not sure why I craved solitude at such a young age, why I found solace in being alone and removed from society.
In high school, I had changed unexpectedly, cutting my long blonde hair short and dying it black, getting piercings that my mother loathed and claimed no young lady should have. You see, my mother was raised proper, as she called it. Good family, good husband, and finally a good life. She despised her perfect life being squashed by my alternative looks and feelings of the same world. She just didn't understand me or the world as it changed around her. I felt like I was just a trophy to her and my father, her perfect angel who had been tainted by my own demented thoughts.
I never told my parents where I was staying, one last rebellious mission before leaving for a few months, and it took me only a few hours to arrive at the farmhouse where I would be staying for the next few months. The land around the farm was dead or dying, old crops rose out of the dry dusty earth and had turned black and forgotten, as if this land was the example of dreams long forgotten and empty. A single dreary lane connected this desolate farmhouse to the rest of the world. On the outside, it was drab and looked as though it would fall apart. It had two stories but still seemed cramped and small, as if it were a single floor tied to the ground.
Across from the house, bordering the tall weeds that had reclaimed much of the farmland, stood a maudlin-looking faded red barn, one door propped open in a dejected manner revealing naught to me but shadows, dust, and a little mystery.
Next to the barn, staked into the ground on an old-looking cross, was a ragged scarecrow. It had drab brown clothing, but its face was oddly realistic, like it was watching me with a disapproving manner. Straw poked through its joints at odd angles like they were trying to break free from their confines. The scarecrow obviously didn't do its job as it was covered in no less than three crows.
I parked my car next to the barn and stepped out into the dusty yard before the farmhouse that I would make my home for the next few months. I checked under the front mat for the key and put it in the lock.
With a satisfying click, the door fell inward into the farmhouse. Surprisingly, the inside of the farmhouse was modern, clean, and looked quite inviting. I could smell the fresh paint on the walls, and everything was so white. The realtor had told me she would stop by tomorrow to collect the rent, and she had tried to chat my ear off on the phone about all the renovations she and her son were doing on the place.
I sighed with contentment and tossed my bags beside the door. I dug around in my bag and removed my camera, my father's old film shooter as he called it. I had taken up the hobby years ago for what I called capturing the oddity in the world.
I explored the small house a little more; the ground floor consisted of a single room and small bathroom with a shower. The bedroom was upstairs and was the only room, the stairs connected directly to the white and pink monstrosity that was the master bedroom. The pillows had laces on them and almost made me gag from the cuteness. There was even cute white lace curtains on the window with little flowers stitched onto them.
Out of the only window of the room, I could see the barn and the scarecrow. I aimed my camera at the pair and snapped a photo. From this angle, the scarecrow appeared to be staring straight at me. It stood next to the left side of the barn in a dejected manner like a chastised child.
A shudder involuntarily ran through me at the sight, but I moved on back downstairs. It was getting close to dinner time now, and I had brought some food with me.
After a few minutes, I had my dinner on the stove cooking and the crickets chirping outside the open window. As I sat down to eat next to the window, I felt at peace for one of the first times in years. The solitude of this old farm was exactly what I needed. The window supplied a nice breeze that wafted through the place, it smelled of grass and warm summer nights, made me feel at peace. The simple dish of spaghetti with tomato sauce and a glass of wine was all that I needed right here, right now in this moment.
That night I climbed into the frilly laced bed and sunk into the claustrophobic mattress. I felt like Goldilocks in the mama bear's bed as it was altogether too soft. From my perfumed bed, I had a good view out the window. I had left the porch light on, and it cast an eerie glow across the yard. The barn loomed ominously, stalwart against the light of the porch, like it was protecting the shadows from the battering ram of light. The somber scarecrow leaned against the left side of the barn.
With a small jump, I thought I saw its arm move slightly. I peered through my camera using the zoom to get a better view of the scarecrow. It was completely still in the night, and I laughed quietly to myself at my silliness. I had always enjoyed horror movies, but there was no chance I was living in one. I settled back into bed and put my camera down. Within a few minutes, I fell into sleep's warm embrace.
What felt like only a few minutes later, I sat up in bed. It was still dark out, I could hear crickets chirping through the open window, and I strained my ears for a moment.
I thought something had woken me up. I felt a cold shiver run down my spine as a cold breeze wafted in through the window. I pulled the frilly blanket up around myself when I heard it. A thud sounded below me, shaking the whole world into silence. The crickets stopped chirping, and my heart felt like it had stopped beating. Someone was in the house. I hadn't locked the door or closed the kitchen window, and now someone was downstairs. A second thud sounded like a boot on the staircase. Then another and another as something was slowly moving up the stairs towards the room.
I don't know why I did it, but something came over me. I wasn't big or especially brave, but my normal cowardice in social situations changed instantly. With a dash, I tore across the room, flicking on the lights, ready to face my attacker, to defend myself against male or female. I would fight, and I would win.
But as the lights turned on, ready to strike with my foot, nothing was there. The staircase was empty, and upon further inspection, the entire house was empty. The kitchen window was open, and I shut and locked it securely before checking the door. Nothing. I sat down on the couch, my heart pounding out of my chest, as I tried to make sense of what had just happened.
"I must have still been half-asleep," I said aloud to the room in a thinly veiled attempt to calm my nerves. It failed horribly, but I went with it. What else could you do in a situation like that?
After locking up the house, I went back up to that frilly four-poster bed in the bedroom and stared out the window. Nothing was in the yard except my car, the barn, and the same old sad-looking scarecrow staring across the yard.
Day 2
The next morning, I woke up to the soft light filtering through the lace curtains. Despite the strange events of the previous night, I felt strangely refreshed, as if the morning sun had chased away the shadows that lingered in my mind.
I descended the stairs, the wooden steps creaking softly under my weight, and headed to the kitchen. As I brewed a pot of coffee, my mind wandered back to the events of last night. Was it just a figment of my imagination, or was there really someone in the house?
Shaking off the unease, I decided to explore the farmhouse in the daylight. I wandered through the room, admiring the modern renovations that clashed with the rustic exterior. The farmhouse had a charm to it, despite its eerie surroundings.
As I made my way outside, the cool morning air greeted me, and I took a deep breath, letting the serenity of the countryside wash over me. The barn stood tall against the backdrop of the morning sky, and the scarecrow seemed to watch me as I crossed the yard.
I approached the barn, curiosity getting the better of me. Pushing open the creaky door, I stepped inside, the musty scent of hay filling my nostrils. The interior was dimly lit, the sunlight filtering through the cracks in the wooden walls.
I explored every nook and cranny of the barn, but found nothing out of the ordinary. As I turned to leave, something caught my eye. In the corner of the barn, hidden beneath a pile of old blankets, was a small wooden chest.
My heart racing with anticipation, I lifted the lid of the trunk and peered inside. What I found took my breath away. It was a collection of old photographs, yellowed with age, depicting scenes from a bygone era. They were of a man with his family, two young kids, and a beautiful young wife. The man had yellow blonde hair, almost like straw in texture, but he smiled so happily with his family.
I sifted through the photographs, my fingers trembling with excitement. Who had left these behind, and why? Each photograph seemed to tell a story, a glimpse into the past of this forgotten farmhouse.
As I sat there, lost in thought, a sudden noise jolted me back to reality. It was the sound of footsteps coming from outside the barn.
"Hello?" The dreamy voice of a woman called to me from the entrance to the barn.
I slammed the lid of the trunk shut, closing the memories up in a flurry as I spun around to be greeted by a quite pretty woman with blonde hair and a pink suit skirt combo. She had bright pink lipstick, that seemed to be a permanent fixture on her face, and quite shiny and sparkly blue eye shadow on her lids. I myself only wore black eyeliner. This woman was like Barbie in her proportions, thin waist, long hair, and large tracts of land, as my father would have said.
"Oh, hello," I said simply, always awkward in normal social situations.
If she noticed anything odd about me, she breezed over it in an easy manner. Taking me by the shoulders, she led me out of the dusty barn and into the yard.
"You must be Polly. We have been waiting a while for you to come. I simply must know what you think of the renovations to the house. Aren’t they just to die for?" The lady said all in one breath, as if she didn’t need air to speak.
"Yes, they are quite nice..." I started before she cut me off, not in a rude manner but instead in one that she would have continued on even if I had just told her I was not Polly and instead I was a mass murderer looming for my next victim.
"You see, me and my son Eli—yes, Eli, you stop lurking in the shadows over there," she said, continuing on as I noticed a younger man leaning up against the barn. He wore simple clothes of jeans and a white t-shirt but had a handsome face. His hair was brown and hung slightly over his eyes.
"I hope you don’t mind if my son here continues working on some renovations while you stay here? Strictly on the outside of the house, mind you. A fresh coat of white paint would make this little beauty shine. We would have finished by now if not for the accidents," she continued, completely unabashed by my silence.
"Sorry. But you are the realtor?" I said, trying to regain my feet under me.
"Oh my god, I am so sorry, dear!" she said with an affable cackle.
"Yes, yes, I am Barbara, but all my friends call me Barb. That over there is Eli. Eli, come say hi," Barb said while her painted talons rested firmly on my shoulder.
Eli stomped over, keeping his eyes low, in a sort of moody way that actually intrigued me, sort of.
When he glanced up at me, I noticed he drank in me from head to toe, and for the first time, I realized what I was wearing. An old rock t-shirt of one of my favorite bands and, of all things, my black pajama bottoms with cartoon bats on them that said "happy halloween."
I felt my face blush crimson as he made eye contact with me. He had very mysterious eyes of blue that seemed to cut right through my soul.
"Nice shirt," he said while gesturing to me. His voice was quiet and uncertain, as if he didn’t get much practice with the art. Knowing his mother, it seemed highly accurate.
"Thanks. Do you like them?" I asked.
"Oh, he likes all sorts of things, don’t you, Eli? Honestly, you two can gab on forever. But miss, I believe we have a small matter of payment," Barb said, drawing the conversation back to herself.
"Of course. Let me go get it," I said as I went back into the house and retrieved the envelope with the rent money in it.
Barb grabbed the envelope in her bright pink talons and snapped a piece of bubblegum between her teeth. With quick fingers, she leafed through the cash, counting it. As she counted, her normal bubbly personality seemed to disappear, giving way to what I gleaned was her true thoughts and feelings before the facade slipped on once again.
"Mmkay, perfect honey, this is the right amount. Now you have my number, so you call if you need anything. Like I said earlier, Eli will stop by from time to time to work on painting the house. I promise you he won’t be an imposition, just pay him no mind," Barb said in a sweet voice as she popped her gum in between each word.
"Eli, come on, please, I have an appointment in town," Barb said to her son, and they both climbed into a garish pink convertible with jewels hanging from the mirror wrapped in a gold chain.
Barb waved one last time as she sped off out of the driveway, covering me in dust as she spun the wheel around.
With their departure, I went inside and retrieved my camera. I spent a few minutes shooting a few pictures I thought were worthy. I re-entered the barn and pulled the old trunk out into the sunshine. Inside was only a handful of photos, some old clothes, and what looked like some old heirlooms. A beautifully old candlestick and a few leather-bound books lay at the bottom, covered by an old tablecloth. The tablecloth was a nice white with intricate swirling patterns inlaid around the edges.
Why would these things be packed away in here? They were so beautiful. I decided to bring the stuff inside for further inspection. As I lifted the trunk, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw something move in the tall grass at the edge of the property. I stared for a minute, but nothing moved again. I must be getting jumpy being alone like this. After last night and then this, I was just imagining things.
I brought the items inside and spread them out. I put the tablecloth on the table, and it hung low to the ground. I placed the candlestick by the window and took out the photos again, spreading them out.
The photos told me a story of a loving family that obviously lived in the farmhouse before me. They had a photo next to the barn, with a brand new looking scarecrow in the back. The man even had his arm around it; it looked so much cleaner and proper in this photo. I stared outside at the sad-looking scarecrow.
I took my camera and the photo and went outside to stand next to the scarecrow. His post hung kind of crooked in the earth like it was weighed down by the scarecrow.
I snapped a photo of the scarecrow as it was, then examined the original photo. I began resettling the post in the ground, but it kept sagging. I decided to pull him out of the ground and move him while I added more dirt to his hole. With some effort, I reseated him into his original hole. He already looked better, but I straightened his clothes and pulled out the last bits of straw that stuck out of his clothes. When I was finished, I looked back at him and took a photo, smiling while I did so at my work.
I then spent some time sweeping the front porch and banging the dust out of the cushions before I curled up on a wicker chair with plump cushions for a few hours reading a book I had brought with me.
I felt quite content at this place. The sounds of the crickets began again, putting me at ease as the sun began to descend. I had spent the entire day just relaxing, and it was perfect. I sat sprawled out in the chair, too lazy to go and make dinner or even move. My bladder was full, but I waited until the last moment before dashing inside and relieving myself.
That's when I noticed it, out in the yard. It seemed as if the scarecrow had moved closer. Once shrouded by the barn slightly, it now had moved a few steps into the light from the porch. My heart dropped at the sight. Not again, I must be asleep on the porch in the chair. I pinched myself, trying to wake up, but all I received was a sore arm.
I closed my eyes, then rubbed them, hoping to dispel whatever plagued my mind, but when I opened my eyes, I noticed the scarecrow was even closer. Halfway across the yard now, it sat menacingly, hanging crooked in the dirt. The scarecrow seemed to be staring at me with an intense gaze. The slits in its face were open now, and in the porch light, I swear I could see human eyes underneath the mask.
I moved towards the front door, locking it in a swift motion. I was shaking now, and it took me a minute to relax. I never took my eyes off the scarecrow for fear of it moving again.
My cellphone was upstairs, so I couldn't flee without the scarecrow moving again. I breathed out slightly and unlocked the door, letting it swing in with a creak. The night outside was silent, as if everything was holding its breath. The usual crickets that plagued me with their song day and night had fallen quiet. I stepped out onto the porch; I needed to go confront this demonic entity. Something about this still made me think this was a prank.
"Eli, is that you?" I called out to the scarecrow.
No response, of course. I steeled myself and put one foot off the porch, never taking my eyes off the scarecrow before me. Something seemed to be dripping from its head as I approached, a dark slime that seemed to be melting from its joints as it stood there silently, except for the constant drip of the liquid on the dry dirt before me.
I walked around the scarecrow, determined to figure out what was going on. As I circled it, my vision darkened for a moment as I faced towards the light of the house. I jumped as the scarecrow's head turned to face me as I looked away. The black liquid drained faster from the being, forming a shallow pool at its feet.
I'm not proud of what I did next, but I fled, taking my eyes off the scarecrow. I made a mad dash for the farmhouse. Behind me, I could hear the pounding of feet. I screamed as loud as my lungs would let me. My voice rang through the silence as I grabbed the door handle and wrenched open the door as I felt a strong grip fall on my shoulder.
I turned to defend myself, but nothing was there. The scarecrow was gone, the wooden cross had vanished, as had the pool of dark liquid in the dirt. The world sprung back to life; the crickets began chirping loudly, and my heart restarted. I slammed the door, and the air from my force scattered the photographs on the table. I ran upstairs, leaving the lights on in the house, and dove onto the bed, wrapping myself in the frilly blanket like a set of frilly armor.
I snatched my camera from the bedside table and held it close, determined to document the rest of the night. I held it in shaking hands as the noise downstairs began—the sound of boots crossing the floor to the stairs and the careful but heavy steps of ascension as they climbed closer and closer to me.
This time, I didn't lunge forward as the light was already on. I glanced out the window, but the scarecrow was still gone. I focused my camera on the stairs and waited as the steps came closer and closer. A shape began to form as the head of whatever was coming up the stairs crested the floor. Then a plain brown mask with slits where the eyes would be. It froze for a moment, then slowly turned its head towards me. Inside the slits were human eyes that seemed to be leaking dark red blood.
In the light, I could see it now. I snapped a photo of the beast, the flash setting off a reaction in the beast. The scarecrow moved so fast up the stairs it was a blur. My scream echoed throughout the house as it lunged at me. Filthy hands pinned me down, and the deep crimson liquid began pouring out of every joint of the scarecrow. It began covering my face, my eyes, and getting into my open mouth. I spluttered and kicked at the beast, but my blows had no purchase, as if the scarecrow on top of me had no substance to itself.
I coughed and spluttered on the liquid as it began to fill my mouth faster and faster. I tried not to swallow any, but it tried to find purchase as I was held down.
"Polly?" A nervous voice called from below.
Suddenly, as if the angels had called, the pressure dissipated, and I crashed to the floor in a heap, trying to spit the blood out, but nothing came—it was gone. Footsteps pounded up the stairs again, and I flew back in fear, closing my eyes.
"Oh my god. Polly, are you okay?" A voice said, and gentle hands grabbed my arm.
My eyes shot open at the human touch, and I grabbed Eli into a tight hug, where I promptly began sobbing in fear, my whole body shaking as Eli awkwardly hugged me.
"Don't worry, it's going to be okay," Eli said patiently to me as he hugged me back gently and began stroking my back.
I shivered in a choking sob and fell into his arms, desperately wanting to believe him, and for some reason, I did.
submitted by TheLastRiter to nosleep [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 01:18 No_Panda_9171 My MIL is an Addict

I'll try to be as brief as possible, but so sorry that this is gonna be long. Please also, if you're only going to say "NO CONTACT" that is not helpful. My post is just gonna show how drugs and alcohol can affect everyone in the family. If you are struggling, get help because you are not only ruining your lives but the lives and relationships of everyone around you.
Background: My MIL has been addicted to alcohol, pills and marijuana since my husband was a child. Lots of trauma from that, that deserves a post on its own. For the 12 years I've been with my husband, it's been a never-ending cycle of using/drinking, going to rehab, getting sober, slipping up but hiding it, rinse and repeat.
Ever since having kids, she wants the privilege being a grandma but obviously chooses the alcohol and drugs over them every time since she has never stayed sober. Because of that and the fact that DH's family members (mostly FIL) also hide/lie about her sobriety, we've decided that since we can't ever fully trust her, she cannot see the kids without either me or DH being around. Previously (and more than once), we had celebrated a whole year (or so we thought) of her being sober and given her unrestricted access to the kids (sleepovers, her taking them out) when we let our guards down and feel like we can trust her again, only to find out later that she wasn't sober. Because all of the back and forth, no contact, awkward family gatherings because we didn't want her around, we decided that we are just going to assume she is not 100% sober and we can't trust her to be alone with our kids (even if FIL is around too because he hides her drug use from us).
Me & DH agreed that... - She can see the kids, as long as one of us is around - She is not drinking and/or high (we can 100% tell and she will avoid us if she is, cancel plans, not show up, etc) - No babysitting, sleepovers, she can't take our kids anywhere
This allowed her to still be in the kids' lives and not make family gatherings awkward and cause more drama.
Despite these rules, that we have told over and over again, she continues to ask to babysit and for sleepovers. We (DH) tell her no, she says ok and acts all sad and throws herself a pity party and then waits a period of time (couple of weeks, months) and then asks again like we forgot. Sometimes she even says "I've been sober" or "I'm going to therapy" or the worst one "I did rehab, isn't that enough for you?" We think she still asks because 1. She's not very smart. 2. She thinks if she keeps asking we'll give in. 3. SIL still allows her son to sleepover, so why not us? (SIL complains about MIL all of the time and how she doesn't trust her but she still allows this...don't know why, but not our kid, not our problem). DH has a huge problem with this because SIL talks about how much she hates her mom yet still loves the free babysitter, again, it's shitty but that's her life/decision.
Recently, she asked DH again for a sleepover because nephew (SIL's son) was sleeping over. DH hadn't responded to her yet, but did bring it up to me. Of course I was like uhhhh, did she forget...again? Both of us had a deep convo about it, mostly because how triggered I get when she asks because during my postpartum with my 1st son, she treated me horribly...would act so supportive and loving one moment and then say cruel things to me while I was in the darkest depths of my postpartum depression, broke my trust with the drugs/drinking and DH at the time looked the other way (he didn't side with her, he just told me this is how she is and we just have to deal with it, she means well but I have to look past the drinking/drugs). Well, I put up a fight because NO I was not dealing with it and allowing an active drug addict to be around my kids and that he's fucked up because of her when he was growing up. He saw the light and promised to always have my back and stick up for our marriage and kids.
More of the convo revolved around my guilt to allow her in the kids life, she seems to truly want to be involved, but has her demons and chooses drugs/alcohol/lies instead. And obviously, I am always the one to be blamed for any limited contact with the kids although, DH says he agrees with our choices and shuts his mom down every time.
We also discuss the really weird sleeping arrangements for sleepovers they have at FIL & MIL's from what I hear. They have no spare bedrooms, tons of animals dogs/cats. Nephew, who is 6, has never slept in his own bed at home (he sleeps with his mom and always has). No hate towards co-sleeping parents, you do you...but when he sleeps at MIL & FIL's, he sleeps in bed WITH him. That's a big no for me if this were my kids. No bed, how about the couch? No, my son has severe animal allergies, especially cats, and the animals hang out on the couch, it's full of hair and dander. My parents also have cats and they make sure he has an animal free room to sleep in if he sleeps over. He needs to sleep in an animal free room, in-laws don't have that. At our house we have 2 dogs and 1 cat, and manage his allergies well by not allowing them in his room. (The animal allergy thing is important, don't forget that!) So even if she was sober and trustworthy, he couldn't still sleepover because they can't accommodate the sleeping arrangement he needs. After chatting about this stuff, DH says he will call his mom and remind her once again and that the answer is NO.
A couple of days go by and we see MIL & FIL at a family get-together. Everything seems normal, MIL is not acting out of the ordinary. FIL randomly tells me, "MIL is getting rid of all of her cats." which is odd, she's had them for years, she loves them. Taken aback, when I ask why, he says, I don't know and doesn't bring it up again. We get home and SIL comes over and we are chatting , she says, did you know MIL is getting rid of all of her cats so DS can sleepover? And I start to laugh. Yeah, that's the reason...and SIL laughs too and agrees (she knows our rule). But she says, yeah FIL said you (as in me, not DH) said DS can't sleepover because they have cats. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure DH told her it was because the drugs/alcohol, she's probably making that excuse but now I'm worried that she is really gonna get rid of those poor cats! I flag DH into the room to verify to SIL that he told her what we talked about days before and he's like no I didn't remind her that she can't have alone time with the kids because of the drugs/alcohol, I just blamed that cats and sleeping arrangement so I didn't have her hear her crying and whining.
I'm shocked and pissed. I ask DH why he gave that excuse and instead of what we talked about and he just got upset and blamed his mom for everything; how he hates talking to her, she's a POS, etc, etc. It's a tough subject for him to talk about because of all of the trauma he's experienced growing up, to what she put me through, the drama involving the kids, etc. Working through it with him in the past has been tough because he just wants to block it all out. SIL apologizes for bringing it up (not her fault) and leaves.
That night, I tell DH I am disappointed that he didn't tell his mom the real reason why our kids are not, and will not, sleepover. I told him by blaming the cats, makes (me) look like an asshole because I am blamed by default and gives her false hope for the future. She is batshit crazy and for some reason hellbent on having the kids (without us, seriously WTF is that about?!) He says he agrees that that is the real reason but is tired of being a broken record and saying the same thing over and over again. I tell him I felt like I did back in postpartum where he didn't have my back again. He felt really bad and didn't really talk to me much even the next day. He said he feels so ashamed of his family, his mom in particular, embarrassed and feels as though he let me down. He tells me time and time again that we can cut his parents off completely, but of course it will come with a cost and collateral damage, that's not worth doing IMO.
We are working through it, I feel bad that I got mad at him, I just am tired of all of this bullshit as well, although that is nothing new. It sucks that her shitty behavior, time and time again, causes so much turmoil. From what I hear, she doesn't see it that way. I don't know if she is that delusional or really just doesn't care about anyone else but herself. ALL of her kids dislike her, if not hate her, and I truly believe that is the reason why she clings onto the grandkids so much, they don't know the true person she is...yet.
submitted by No_Panda_9171 to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 01:16 jack_skellington Dear Bethesda, I'm perma-quitting Fallout 76, and I want you to know why. You can't win me back, but maybe you can help others.

So I logged out of F76 just now, and I will never log back in. It's over for me. The whole issue is 100% avoidable, though. I want to tell Bethesda why they lost me, and obviously this will give away some ways to keep other players.
First, the minor issues, which I'd solve with a mod in Fallout 4, but which are obnoxiously ever-present in the un-moddable F76:
But all of that was survivable. I've been building for a couple of weeks now, finishing quests (mostly not the Responders, but you know, other quests). Except... 3 days ago, I joined a game and the game couldn't place my camp. Someone else was in my spot. OK, no problem, you gave me a free "relocate your camp" so I will. But... all it brought over was my house and water pump. The gardens? Gone.
Not terrible, I'll rebuild. Over the last 3 days, I rebuilt a lot. My place is not good, I'm still low-level, but I had all the crafting, a vending machine, turrets for protection (which almost never seem to trigger on enemies, by the way), beds, and even got a settler who I met, who just hangs out at my settlement and plays guitar. Great.
And then today, the server locked up or went offline mid-game, and I booted back to the main screen. I had been in build mode at the time. I think that might factor in. When I got back in, it couldn't place my camp, gave me a free relocation, I took it, and when I put down the C.A.M.P. what did I get? It saved ONE ROOF TILE. Literally everything from the last 2 weeks was lost. To rebuild I'd need to get the resources again and re-place everything, new. I logged into a new game to see if it was a quirk, but it wasn't.
Bethesda, losing the items I had placed down today when it froze? Understandable. Losing everything, including the original building from days ago? Even the basic concrete flooring from 2 weeks ago? HOW? How could you lose THAT?
Bethesda, the game isn't good enough to persist with through this kind of mistake. I can forgive those smaller things like the cheery delusional "are we in a post-apoc game? tee hee it doesn't seem like it" theme, but if you're gonna do that AND then lose hours & hours & hours of my effort, WTF am I doing here? I'm not rebuilding, Bethesda. Sorry.
But maybe you can fix that for anyone else who is going to hit that same wall. Good luck.
submitted by jack_skellington to Fallout [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 01:15 ferinsy [BREAK MY CASE] Review of the new JP husbando game about corporative life with a fun musical Candy Crush gameplay

[BREAK MY CASE] Review of the new JP husbando game about corporative life with a fun musical Candy Crush gameplay
Always trying to bring new husbando games to the general public. Unfortunately, this time it's a Japanese-only one, but since it's a match 3 game, you can play it as a casual game, maybe?
So, coly inc. (Promise of Wizard, Stand My Heroes) has recently released their new game, Break My Case (ブレイクマイケース). It's a joseimuke game (aimed towards women) where you're working with hot men, basically. I'm sorry, I don't speak Japanese, but from the few chapters I've translated and judging the company's record, I guess the MC is probably a woman -- the only one in the whole game, talk about a male-centric work environment.
https://preview.redd.it/id3giixna90d1.jpg?width=1067&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d051f05f9279a906b914d0747c17fc848d912642

THE BOYS (NOT THE AMAZON ONES)

There are divided into 6 departments, and there are SEVERAL boys, like, too many (21 to be exact). There's one for everyone's taste (but ofc, it's Japan, so you know there are no black characters, and since it's a joseimuke, there are no muscly guys as well).
Anybody who knows idol games and other joseimukes (like Twisted Wonderland) might be used to this divide of different units, but this isn't that important. At the beginning of the game you have to choose a character to be awarded with a free SR card of him. This choice isn't really important and you can easily get those SR cards in the gacha (SR cards aren't the highest rarity).
The boys have beautifully done live2D animations in a couple of places, like their profiles, in the gameplay stages and in the story as well.
A quick overview of each department and their employees:
Main Office
Simulation Department
https://preview.redd.it/efnopilaq90d1.jpg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a3747e28910b2f40ac86f0a2861bbc6cf66e049c
Watchdog Department
Negotiation Department
Special Affairs Department

GAMEPLAY

The game has an interesting twist in the Candy Crush (match 3) formula: it's dynamic, a line will go through the board and you set up the matches as the line goes by. For a couple of rounds (until the song ends, marked by a Youtube-like line advancing at the bottom of the screen), the line will spawn at the beginning of the board (from left to right, but some challenge stages might have the line going around in different directions) and any matches it touches have the whole matching group removed from the board and new tiles are spawned in their places (the board doesn't "fall" like in Candy Crush, so you can't plan that much since it's random which are the next tiles to appear). Any tile that's matched in groups of 3, 4 or 5 (in line or in T-form) are removed from the board, so you can make matches on the go.
A bit of a breakdown about the gameplay mechanics:
  • You can't unite 2 groups (for instance, 2 groups of 3 in the same line don't make a group of 6, each move only results in one group of matching tiles).
  • If new tiles come up and you can match them in a group, they'll still be removed if the "walking line" barely touches any of the matching tiles (this makes the gameplay very frenetic and dynamic).
  • Once you move a tile and make a matching group, those tiles are locked until they're removed by the moving line.
  • Groups of 4 or 5 form a musical note tile (a single one with 4 matched, double if matched in T, and triple if matched in a line of 5), which is removed by the "walking line" to power up an ultimate skill that varies from each card and to raise the combo (more combos, more bonuses and items at the end of the level).
  • Other skills are present for each boy you bring to the level (you can bring 4 boys for each level --one of them being the leader with a leader advantage/skill--, and a support from friends or random people that'll help you with a boost).
It's one of those games with low stamina limits that only consume 1 stamina per stage. At the start, it's pretty okay, but I can see it being too little in the long run. You can stack up to 3 runs and you can skip stages once for every boy (in the daily grind section, so up to 21 times daily).
A screenshot of a match 3 stage. Notice the line is in the second to last column of tiles, and every tile lit up before the line is alreay matched (hende locked in place) waiting for the line to pass and remove them in the next round.

GACHA AND MONETIZATION

Gacha is what you expect from joseimukes: pretty greedy, but with hald decent rates at least. Some stuff to consider:
  • Cards have R, SR and SSR rarities.
  • Pity is 3% for SSR, 17% for SR and 80% for R cards.
  • There's at least one SR card guaranteed in each 10 pulls.
  • There's no pity for SSR cards, but there's a 200 pulls spark (through the shop).
  • There's 50/50 in limited banners (oh wow, I'm surprised).
  • There's no written indication of warranty on getting the featured card in your next SSR pull if you lose 50/50.
About the monetization, 10 pulls cost 500 gems, and there are no packs that sell that exact amount (an old trick so you always have gems left and you have to get more).485 gems cost 2.9k yen, and 870 gems cost 4.9k, for reference. There are discounted packs, though (limited time, of course, of course).
Oh, there are 2 pulling currencies: free and paid one. Atm, I can only see a special banner using paid currency (10 pulls guarantee a random SSR), and there's a discounted pull everyday using only 10 paid gems instead of 50). Max level of the cards are heavily reliant on dupes (5 more levels for each dupe, 1 + 4 dupes required). SSR has a max level of 60, SR max level is 45 and R is 30 (no dupes, add 20 for the max level with 4 dupes)
Generosity-wise, the game seems to be extremely stingy, with no events so far, and the game will rely only on events if there's any. For now, stages only offer 5 or 10 gems each, and story is level-locked. At least the starter events give a good amount of rewards, and you get a bit more than 30 pulls worthy of gems just for starting the game and an SSR ticket to play the gacha (random card). There was also a special b-day reward for one of the boys, and the 2nd day prize was 5 gacha tickets, but that reward was only available yesterday.
I'll leave some card images from now on just to make the article more pleasing to the eyes. SSR card.

MORE CONSIDERATIONS

I'm sorry, but like I said, I can't talk about the story and the lore too much. I've only read 3 or 4 chapters and it was pretty corporative-esque, I don't enjoy the theme at all, but I've been playing for 3 days now only because of the fun gameplay.
The game doesn't need a VPN to access and you can download it and play instantaneously through Qooapp or Taptap (links at the end). It also has a quality I don't often see in Japanese gachas: the UI is clean and minimalistic, and there isn't a lot of loading screens (although I've had a few disconnections, probably due to the distance I am from the main server in Japan). The live2D looks and feels modern and really fluid, and the songs are pretty cool (and a nice touch to integrate the new gimmicks to the old match 3 formula).
If you want to actually play the game and not be like me (super casual), a Twitter fan (@ aporia_eng) is translating stuff for the game, mainly new announcements and info on the characters (link at the end).
SSR card (birthday special)

FINAL THOUGHTS

Lack of English language aside, the game might be a good choice for husbando fans seeking for a new and interesting option. If you like a good story, you probably are beter with Tokyo Debunker (despite all the AI stuff and the cashgrab aspects), but if you want a different gameplay vibe, this game is accessible for anybody who've played any other Candy Crush-like game (and enjoys the genre).
It's a solid 7/10 game but probably a cheap thrill for those who don't speak Japanese and aren't really into the corporative theme.
I can only hope the game comes to global, it deserves to be a moderate success in Japan. But if you've reached this point also hoping about an English release, I'm sorry to crush your dreams, but coly inc. isn't known for localizing their games :(
SR card

TL;DR

**Pros:**
  • Interesting gameplay;
  • Adds a twist to the match 3 (Candy Crush) genre;
  • High quality: live2D, great UI, few loading screens;
  • Generous starter rewards;
  • No geoblock.
**Cons:**
  • Japanese only;
  • Theme might be too niche;
  • Apparently greedy in the long run (too early too judge, but it is what it is);
  • Dupes make a HUGE difference (it raises the max level, like Nikke).
Meow cat, please meow back (SR card).

LINKS

Google Play: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.colyinc.breakMyCase
Appstore: https://apps.apple.com/jp/app/%E3%83%96%E3%83%AC%E3%82%A4%E3%82%AF%E3%83%9E%E3%82%A4%E3%82%B1%E3%83%BC%E3%82%B9/id6472174407
Taptap: https://www.taptap.io/app/33653518
Qooapp: https://m-apps.qoo-app.com/en-US/app/23527
submitted by ferinsy to gachagaming [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 01:14 ephemeralcynosure Small Stash Worth Selling?

Hi all! Looking to get your input on whether the cards I have are worth trying to sell. (And if anyone here is interested, happy to broker directly, of course.)
Characters
Lessons
Creatures
Potion Spells
Care of Magical Creatures Spells
Quidditch Spells
Transfiguration Spells
Charm Spells
Items
Location
Adventure
Match Cards
submitted by ephemeralcynosure to HarryPotterTCG [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:48 SourSensuousness Passed D281 / Linux Essentials OA!

Got a 690, nice.
Prior to this, my only real experience with Linux had been making a Raspberry Pi tablet that nobody really uses, and installing Kali Linux on a potato laptop. I'm a Mac user and I have used Terminal a bit, and I used DOS a lot in the 90s, so some of the material (particularly hardware, basic CLI) was familiar to me. I started studying about two and a half weeks ago.
In case this is helpful to anybody, this is what I did and here are my thoughts:
Exam:
Recommendations:
OK, onward and upward. Hope this helps somebody out.
submitted by SourSensuousness to WGU_CompSci [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:43 MercyChevalier Where Winter Crows Go Amazing Yandere Game

Where Winter Crows Go Amazing Yandere Game
I'm so glad I stumbled upon the Visual Novel
[ Where Winter Crows Go ] by Pri-Karin
I finished it on one run, not being able to look away. I loved it so much!
I enjoyed it so much and got all 3 endings.
And I knew I must share it with you guys! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
It's free to play! The writing (thrill, mystery, and characters) is great!
The art, the music, and the voice acting all come together to create a chilling atmosphere!
The Story
Needing a break from your usual routine, you decide to take a one-week holiday trip to Frostpeak, a town famous for its ski resorts. Unfortunately, on the way there, your car breaks down and you have no choice but to walk to the nearest place available... an isolated log cabin in the middle of the woods.
The cabin turns out to be the home of an environmental researcher who's studying partial migration among other things.
Will you stay with him or risk finding another place in the freezing weather?
The Link
Link: https://prikarin.itch.io/where-winter-crows-go
It has one of my favorite tropes ~ isolation ~ and our love interest has long hair, red eyes, and wears a white lab coat, of course I loved him!
Look at my baby, LOOK AT HIM
I surprisingly got a sweeter ending than I thought I would in my first playthrough, and I enjoyed all endings. It was also neat how I had all the information only after I obtained all endings. The pace wasn't too slow, nor too fast (around 2-3 hours of playtime)
and I loved how the story was divided into days.
I really recommend playing it, it was so much fun, and exactly the Yandere VN that I wanted. o(≧∇≦o)
Don't hesitate to share your favorite games in the comments, too. (•̀ᴗ•́)و
submitted by MercyChevalier to MaleYandere [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:38 craftytoonlover I may be a petty jersey, but at least I got away from a "toxic" friend.

Edited: The title was supposed to say that: I may be a Petty jerk, but at least I got away from a toxic "friend. Auto correct changed it to Jersey, and I couldn't edit the actual title.
Fair Warning, this is going to be a LONG post, but I will try to dilute it as much as possible.
About 12 years ago I left the world of retail (of which I have MANY stories) to begin a career in childcare. Some people prefer different titles, Nanny, Babysitter, Parents' Helper, Childcare Provider, etc. To be honest each of those titles are suitable in different situations.
The first family that I Nannied for went on for about 4 years, and then on again off again for another year. Through this family, I met "Wendy" and her family. Wendy went out of her way to be friendly with me, and would often ask me to babysit her kids (B5 and G1).
At one point, I had moved on to working with another family for a few months. Sadly, that ended due to the parents getting a divorce, and they moved further away.
Wendy found out that I was unemployed and asked that I Nanny for her kids. She was also pregnant with her 3rd at the time. I agreed at a slightly discounted rate because we were "friends". I realized too late that that was a HUGE mistake on my part.
Wendy's live in boyfriend "Cole" also had 3 kids from a previous relationship. B15, G8, and G6 lived with their mother. Yes, am aware of the closeness in age of Wendy and Cole' B5 and his G6. I chose to keep my mouth shut.
Now prepare yourselves for the Rollercoaster of emotions I dealt with with this family.
Initially, both Wendy and Cole were employed. I would come over 5 days a week for 8 to 10 hour days, depending upon whether Wendy got home on time. Here is where my discounted rate bit me in the butt.... $300 a week was still complained about. Wendy asked that I not leave Cole alone with their kids because he basically ignored them and refused to change diapers. I felt pretty icky about that, but agreed. Now I lived 45 minutes away without traffic. I would often leave my house early in anticipation of possible traffic. If I arrived early, I wasn't allowed in until she our alloted time of 7am. I didn't have a key, and would often be left waiting on the porch an extra 15 minutes past our time. If I knew I was too early, I parked around the corner and ate breakfast. Wendy and Cole both got very irritated if I wasn't their door precisely at 7 am. It was a headache that I chose to avoid.
Over the first month, I realized that G2 was emotionally abused by Wendy. She constantly said to or in front of the child how much she hated dealing with the wild child. How she wished G2 was more well behaved like B5. She even wrote unkind things on Facebook, asking someone to take her on the weekend while I was off.
This took a toll on poor G2, obviously. She would get violent with me first thing in the mornings : Hitting, kicking, biting, pulling my hair, throwing things at me, or what ever popped into her mind. Eventually, once Wendy left for work G2 would calm down and become an absolute delight.
When B5 started school, Wendy took a new job that allowed her to work from home at times. Those were not fun days! I asked if I could bring G2 to my house where I have an outdoor play area, a playroom, plenty of kid movies, crafts, books, music, and local playgrounds. At first the car rides were torture with G2 screaming bloody murder for at least half of the 45 minute drive. When she got used to the new routine, those drives became pleasant. Her violent tendencies disappeared when we were spending the days at my home. The drawback was that I also had to drive her home in time to get B5 off the bus.
During school breaks, I also had B5, and if they were visiting G8 and G6. B15 stayed at Wendy's house and just did his own thing. If you thought G2 was torture in toddler form, these two girls would have made Nanny McPhee grow a few more moles, a hunch back, and closed feet.
B5 would get a little bored, being that he was the only boy that was understandable. I purchased an array of boy friendlier toys to entertain him. I already had a lot of girl friendly toys either purchased or gifted from the first family that I had worked with. Of course I had plenty of gender neutral items too.
Wendy and Cole didn't give 2 sh*ts and a shave if the kids watched TV all day, went out to a playground or museum, or were driven 2 hours away, as long as I got them home on time. I easily spent an entire paycheck on activities, gas, food (which they didn't pack), and toys over 2 weeks watching all 4 kids. By the by, when asked for additional money when I did have all 4, Wendy not so politely informed me that the kids are entertain each other, so my job should be easier with all 4.
My husband and I discussed a few times whether I should look for something else. Inevitably the people pleaser in me actually felt guilty even considering it. Yup, I was apparently a glutton for punishment. Gratefully, my income was just extra, for an nice meal out occasionally, gifts for birthdays and holiday, extra hobbies, and basic groceries.
Just before Wendy gave birth to their new baby, she became unemployed. Logically, one would think this was my easy out. NOPE!! I became more of a Mother's Helper / Nanny. At this point Wendy and Cole were beginning to look for a larger house to rent. I did more walk through than I can count. She even asked me to tour a couple without her, and to bring G2 and B5 so she could get her nails done and take a nap. (Seriously, I toured houses on her list without her!)
As we spent more and more time together, I began to learn FAR FAR more about her bedroom life than I could ever desire. G2 and I spent much less time in the peace of my home, and way too much in Wendy's company. G2's behavior began to deteriorate slowly, causing Wendy to lose her temper with her far too easily. This completely broke my heart. I TRIED to redirect them both, and expressed my concern to Wendy. Of course, she then turned her anger towards me.
Wendy would openly discuss her theories about Cole in front of her kids. She claimed that he was cheating on her with his ex because he would shower immediately after seeing her to pick up or drop off the kids. He often made those drives directly after work though. Maybe he was cheating, maybe not. I honestly don't know.
Wendy also enjoyed gossiping about absolutely anybody. The parents of the first family that worked with were having marital issues. This was a favorite topic of hers. Wendy told me about every unkind word her mother uttered in her direction. The apple obviously didn't fall far from the tree here. I was told lots of personal information about people I didn't know. The gossip made me very uncomfortable. I told her that I would prefer we not discuss the lives of people who weren't around to speak on their own behalf. This fell on deaf ears.
I became quite used to her disapproval of my loose fitting jeans and T-shirts. Working with kids, I found my favorite cartoon prints were just as possible with my tiny charges. I NEVER wear makeup or heels because I simply don't want to. My dresses always have leggings under them because it make me feel less vulnerable. I never wear shorts or above the knee skirts/dresses. That's a ME thing, not religious or cultural. I find my "uniform" of choice is ideal for working with kids. Wendy informed me more than once that it embarrassed her to be seen in public with me. She often insisted that I wear something of hers if we had to go anywhere.
My husband enjoys photography, particularly long exposure which is done at night. He has a lot of photography friends of both genders, but his best friend is a female. He also enjoys concerts and kayaking, often with an ex from high school. (He graduated in 1997). I trust my husband and have no problem with him spending time with his friends. Enter Wendy's whispers of accusations. She often "jokingly" accused him of cheating on me with these female friends. I don't enjoy concerts, crowds, or being out late; so I support his doing with people who do. At least I know he with someone if something happens. I have bad knees, which make getting in and out of a kayak difficult. Why should that stop him? Again, I told her that I trust him and that I don't appreciate her accusations joke or not. This annoyed her because she doesn't trust Cole.
I know these are major red flag issues. I know how toxic being subjected to these comments is. I also know how difficult it would be on their kids if I left too soon. I knew they needed someone who wasn't emotionally cruel. I stayed for them.
My husband and I spent 2 of our weekends helping them pack and move to house that ended up 15 minutes from us. We were thanked by words, but that was the extent of the gratitude. Wendy's mother looked after the kids while we helped them move. This was complained about because I was already paid to watch the kids during the week. Insert eye roll here!! Her mom felt my husband should be willing to help them move while I watched the kids on the weekend for no extra pay. Either way, we were doing them a HUGE favor to begin with.
A family that I had briefly Nannied for prior to working for Wendy asked if I could help out every other Saturday. The dad (Nice Guy) traveled a lot for work leaving the Mom (Angelface) home alone with the kids. She just needed a day to run errands, work out, and just have time to herself. Angelface is one of the kindest women on this planet. When I did Nanny for them (2 days a week), she was in tears when she had to let me go. They couldn't justify the outgoing money at the time. She referred me to several friends. I am legitimately friend with this family, and still babysit sporadically.
Through a random discussion, I told Wendy about working with Angelface on every other Saturday. She began to tell me what to charge, how many hours to work, and what days to leave open for her just in case. Insert headache inducing eyerolls!
One Friday, Wendy's cousin arrived for a weekend visit with her baby. Wendy told me that because it was a holiday weekend I would not be needed until Tuesday. I double checked via text, and she confirmed that she and Cole were taking the kids to the beach with her cousin. Monday morning I got a call from a passed off Wendy asking where I am. I reminded her that she had told me that they would not need me. I even took a screen shot of our text. She said that Cole had decided to work Monday anyway so she was alone with HER kids. This pissed me off, so I lied. I told her that I was out of town with my mom and wouldn't be home until 5 or 6 pm. She went on about how much of an inconvenience it was to her, and I should have checked before going out of town. For the second time, I sent her a screenshot of my text verifying that I wasn't needed Monday. She abruptly ended the call saying to just be sure to be on time Tuesday. I had NEVER been late, but opted to mention that as we hung up.
Over time we worked out a new arrangement where I brought now G3 to my house 2 days a week, and we stayed there 3 days a week. I helped with cleaning, errands, helped with the new baby (NB), etc. Mostly, I was Wendy's sounding board. She continued to accuse Cole of cheating, wasting money, and even beating her.
My husband and I offered to let her and the kids stay with us, but she declined. Wendy even told me that since she was so sure Cole was cheating, she was going to find herself a side boyfriend to cheat with. I tried to talk her out of it, to no avail. Sadly, she spoke openly about her new boyfriend in fron of G3. During one of her rants I learned that my pay came from him selling drugs. GULP!!
While cleaning out the couch one day, I came across a loaded gun kept in the couch console thing, along with baggies of pills, "dried plants", and white powder. This completely freaked me out. 2 small children and a soon to be crawling baby sat and played on and around that couch. I STRONGLY considered calling Child Pretective Services and the police. I quickly realized that if I did, they would know it was me. I regret it, but I feared their possible retaliation towards us.
Shortly after finding these thing Cole quit his job. For several months while I worked for them, they were both unemployed. Again, I thought it was an easy out. NOPE AGAIN! For another 3 months, they insisted that they couldn't take care of the house and kids without my help. Very often, I arrived to find now B6 fending for himself for breakfast and getting ready for school. He was told to wake up and unlock the door for me, but they went back to sleep. I was expected to keep the baby from crying, and to keep G3 quiet and entertained until they came downstairs. I often chose to simply take both to my house so we could play naturally. We had a crib, so this wasn't a problem for NB. G3 would just nap on the couch or my bed. When out of school B6 preferred this too. This really should have told Wendy and Cole something about their kids, but of course not.
FINALLY, I was informed after about a year of working for them, they could no longer justify paying me. At this point, I had often considered quitting anyway. I mainly stayed because my heart broke for the kids. However, based on her gossipy and judgmental nature ... not to mention my little 3 day weekend fail; I was concerned about what kind of reference Wendy would provide if I chose to quit.
So in 2019, I found myself happily unemployed. The timing here worked out beautifully because Angelface knew neighbors due to have their first baby in 2020. I ended up working for this lovely family until August of 2023. The mom (Joy) and the Dad (Mr. Cool) were such a relief to my entire mental and physical health. We became friends as well, and over time I told them about Wendy. Between Joy, Angelface, Mr. Cool, Nice Guy, my husband, and family I began to realize just hoe toxic Wendy really was to my mental health. My husband never liked her but understood my feelings towards the kids.
For almost a year Wendy would randomly call or FaceTime me .... more often than not while drunk. She would rave about how much she and the kids missed me. We would get together for a meal, and she had me over for a couple birthday parties for the kids. I found myself almost always being the only sober adult watching the kids as the adults partied. Wendy often went back to her gossiping, trash talking, and "jokes" about my husband spending time with women. She would offer underhanded compliments. "It's so nice to see you wearing a dress instead of those tacky T-shirts." You get the drift. She even INFORMED me that since her neighbor was pregnant I could quit my job with Joy and Mr. Cool. She had told her neighbor that I would work for her now, and since they were next door, I would watch her own kids too. I shut that down saying that I was quite happy working with Joy and Mr. Cool. I even lied about what they paid thinking it would detur her further. NOPE yet again. She said that I should quit anyway so her life would be easier with me around. Once more, I told her that wasn't going to happen.
AT LONG LAST, I am coming to the end of my tortuous endurment with Wendy.
A week later, she called and asked if I had quit yet. I said that I had no intention of leaving an "$800" a week job. (Not even close to that with my 3 day a week job, but she didn't need to know the truth.) She told me to let her know when I quit, then changed the subject towards gossiping about that first family and their problems. I told her that I don't feel comfortable gossiping about people who can't speak for themselves. That pissed her off, so she turned it on me again. She said of course I don't want to talk about them since my husband was cheating on me with 2 different women. I angrily corrected her. She has no reason to think my husband is cheating, and I trust him and our friends. Just because she thinks her boyfriend cheats, and she cheats, that doesn't mean everybody does. She then said we could talk when I calmed down and after I quit my job.
After hanging up, I proceeded to block Wendy on everything! Facebook, phone calls, texting, face timing, Instagram, and even Snapchat (which I hadn't used in over a year). I also blocked her mom, and any body that had been friendly simply because Wendy knew them and wanted me to have their information too. I gave her no warning at all. I was beyond passed off, and refused to be talked out of my very gratifying decision.
I told my husband, family, and friends that was now free of Wendy. Not a single person tried to tell me to make ammends. The only guilt that I feel is towards those poor kids. For once though, I put myself first. Joy and Angelface were both extremely supportive when I told them that I had Ghosted Wendy. Both even mentioned how proud they were of me for FINALLY truly stand-up for myself. They were NOT fans of Wendy!!!
I never ended up quitting my job with Joy and Mr. Cool inorder to babysit Wendy's neighbor. I also continued to babysit for Angelface and Nice Guy.
About 7 or 8 months ago, I ran into Wendy at a playground between our two homes. She was with now G5 and B2. I had Joy and Mr. Cool's daughter with me. I was polite, almost obscenely so. I was friendly towards the kids, who were stand off-ish. I offered to let Little Miss play with them, but they weren't interested. Little Miss wanted to do her own thing, so off we went to play. We left after only 15 minutes because Little Miss said "that lady" is scaring her.
That night, my husband got a Facebook message from Wendy. She described my cruelty towards her kids by ignoring them. She said that it was so hateful that I blocked her on everything after all she had done for us. This message went on and on. My husband left it unread for months before my morbid curiosity caused me to open the silly thing. We never responded, but instead he finally bl9cked her too.
Ok, if you read that bloody novel of a post, you are a ROCK STAR!! I don't have any regrets towards my eventual choice, except towards the kids. It breaks my heart knowing what kind of parents they are enduring. I often regret not calling CPS, but there isn't a shadow of doubt that would have retaliated .... most likely violently.
I did eventually get back in contact with that very first Nanny family. They had indeed broken up, but both are happier and healthier now. I warned them that Wendy enjoyed gossiping and spreading rumors about them. Neither were surprised, and both had broken contact with Wendy long ago. They supported my choice to break ties with her as well. Shocking, right!?!
I no longer work full time for Joy and Mr. Cool, as they wanted Little Miss to get used to being around more kids before starting school. I do still sporadically babysit for them and Angelface and Nice Guy though. The two couples have referred me to several other families in the neighborhood, so I stay pretty busy with much more sane individuals.
Maybe I was a jerk, and petty. I'm cool with being thought of that way towards Wendy. At least now, I have much kinder people in my life.
EDITED/UPDATE: It has come to my attention that some may feel unfulfilled on the petty revenge side. For this former doormat, removing myself as her very cheap childcare was my revenge. I realize that many may not feel it was enough, but at the time, it was a MAJOR achievement for me. I had worked 8 to 10 hours a day for 5 days a week to receive $300.
When "invited" to parties, I ended up providing free childcare while the other adults got drunk. I don't like the taste of alcohol or the feeling of being buzzed or drunk, so I don't partake. I feared what would happen to the ignored kids, so I found myself watching them.
I never had a lot of friends, so for a long time, I truly thought Wendy was my friend. It took conversations with my husband, my mom, Angelface, Joy, and others for me to see the reality of my situation.
Some may say this post is in fact gossiping about her. To a point, yes I will agree. I did change everybody's names though.
Ultimately, I have always questioned whether or not I was fair or did the right thing by Ghosting and blocking Wendy. I often second guess my choice; especially when thinking about those kids.
I have tried to be more alert about the people around me since this experience. I do still find myself being too nice and accepting of some ways in which I am treated. I have tried to build more boundaries though.
submitted by craftytoonlover to AmITheJerk [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:37 Narrow-Archer-4605 20yr relationship rapidly tanked

My husband of 15 years (20 total) is a first responder who buys a 24-pack at least once a week and sits outside with his music as I conduct all the business of the family/kids. I make the dinners, support all the homework, cleaning, etc. I also work full time from home.
He is a first responder so he only works about 7-9 days per month. The days he’s off, he’s doing his projects around the house and in the backyard, etc. Today he had 4 tall beers by 2:30pm, while I was on work meetings and such.
We have no more intimacy because I am truly disgusted by the obsession w/ (his first love) beer.
He is in total denial and always blames it on this or that stress, etc. Won’t get any sort of help.
So then there’s me… I am on the path of feeling like an enabler. I don’t want my kids to see this as normalized in any way. I didn’t grow up with alcoholic parents so it’s foreign to me. Sadly, it’s becoming familiar for my own offspring.
Since it has already been a few years of this quite consistently, I dream of leaving and start fresh with my kids but of course I worry if I’ll have glimmers of regret.
I also feel really trapped because if we do a legal separation/divorce on paper, he’ll get some kind of periodic custody of course, and that worries me in his state of being inebriated 60-80% of the time that he’s not working. The courts aren’t well known to give a f*** about this kind of stuff, nor do I want to roll the dice with it.
Has anyone dealt with this on, I guess, either side of the equation?
submitted by Narrow-Archer-4605 to alcoholism [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:33 craftytoonlover I may be the A-H and a bit petty, but at least I got away from a toxic "friend".

I may be the A-H and a bit Petty, but at least I got away from a toxic "friend".
Fair Warning, this is going to be a LONG post, but I will try to dilute it as much as possible.
About 12 years ago I left the world of retail (of which I have MANY stories) to begin a career in childcare. Some people prefer different titles, Nanny, Babysitter, Parents' Helper, Childcare Provider, etc. To be honest each of those titles are suitable in different situations.
The first family that I Nannied for went on for about 4 years, and then on again off again for another year. Through this family, I met "Wendy" and her family. Wendy went out of her way to be friendly with me, and would often ask me to babysit her kids (B5 and G1).
At one point, I had moved on to working with another family for a few months. Sadly, that ended due to the parents getting a divorce, and they moved further away.
Wendy found out that I was unemployed and asked that I Nanny for her kids. She was also pregnant with her 3rd at the time. I agreed at a slightly discounted rate because we were "friends". I realized too late that that was a HUGE mistake on my part.
Wendy's live in boyfriend "Cole" also had 3 kids from a previous relationship. B15, G8, and G6 lived with their mother. Yes, am aware of the closeness in age of Wendy and Cole' B5 and his G6. I chose to keep my mouth shut.
Now prepare yourselves for the Rollercoaster of emotions I dealt with with this family.
Initially, both Wendy and Cole were employed. I would come over 5 days a week for 8 to 10 hour days, depending upon whether Wendy got home on time. Here is where my discounted rate bit me in the butt.... $300 a week was still complained about. Wendy asked that I not leave Cole alone with their kids because he basically ignored them and refused to change diapers. I felt pretty icky about that, but agreed. Now I lived 45 minutes away without traffic. I would often leave my house early in anticipation of possible traffic. If I arrived early, I wasn't allowed in until she our alloted time of 7am. I didn't have a key, and would often be left waiting on the porch an extra 15 minutes past our time. If I knew I was too early, I parked around the corner and ate breakfast. Wendy and Cole both got very irritated if I wasn't their door precisely at 7 am. It was a headache that I chose to avoid.
Over the first month, I realized that G2 was emotionally abused by Wendy. She constantly said to or in front of the child how much she hated dealing with the wild child. How she wished G2 was more well behaved like B5. She even wrote unkind things on Facebook, asking someone to take her on the weekend while I was off.
This took a toll on poor G2, obviously. She would get violent with me first thing in the mornings : Hitting, kicking, biting, pulling my hair, throwing things at me, or what ever popped into her mind. Eventually, once Wendy left for work G2 would calm down and become an absolute delight.
When B5 started school, Wendy took a new job that allowed her to work from home at times. Those were not fun days! I asked if I could bring G2 to my house where I have an outdoor play area, a playroom, plenty of kid movies, crafts, books, music, and local playgrounds. At first the car rides were torture with G2 screaming bloody murder for at least half of the 45 minute drive. When she got used to the new routine, those drives became pleasant. Her violent tendencies disappeared when we were spending the days at my home. The drawback was that I also had to drive her home in time to get B5 off the bus.
During school breaks, I also had B5, and if they were visiting G8 and G6. B15 stayed at Wendy's house and just did his own thing. If you thought G2 was torture in toddler form, these two girls would have made Nanny McPhee grow a few more moles, a hunch back, and closed feet.
B5 would get a little bored, being that he was the only boy that was understandable. I purchased an array of boy friendlier toys to entertain him. I already had a lot of girl friendly toys either purchased or gifted from the first family that I had worked with. Of course I had plenty of gender neutral items too.
Wendy and Cole didn't give 2 sh*ts and a shave if the kids watched TV all day, went out to a playground or museum, or were driven 2 hours away, as long as I got them home on time. I easily spent an entire paycheck on activities, gas, food (which they didn't pack), and toys over 2 weeks watching all 4 kids. By the by, when asked for additional money when I did have all 4, Wendy not so politely informed me that the kids are entertain each other, so my job should be easier with all 4.
My husband and I discussed a few times whether I should look for something else. Inevitably the people pleaser in me actually felt guilty even considering it. Yup, I was apparently a glutton for punishment. Gratefully, my income was just extra, for an nice meal out occasionally, gifts for birthdays and holiday, extra hobbies, and basic groceries.
Just before Wendy gave birth to their new baby, she became unemployed. Logically, one would think this was my easy out. NOPE!! I became more of a Mother's Helper / Nanny. At this point Wendy and Cole were beginning to look for a larger house to rent. I did more walk through than I can count. She even asked me to tour a couple without her, and to bring G2 and B5 so she could get her nails done and take a nap. (Seriously, I toured houses on her list without her!)
As we spent more and more time together, I began to learn FAR FAR more about her bedroom life than I could ever desire. G2 and I spent much less time in the peace of my home, and way too much in Wendy's company. G2's behavior began to deteriorate slowly, causing Wendy to lose her temper with her far too easily. This completely broke my heart. I TRIED to redirect them both, and expressed my concern to Wendy. Of course, she then turned her anger towards me.
Wendy would openly discuss her theories about Cole in front of her kids. She claimed that he was cheating on her with his ex because he would shower immediately after seeing her to pick up or drop off the kids. He often made those drives directly after work though. Maybe he was cheating, maybe not. I honestly don't know.
Wendy also enjoyed gossiping about absolutely anybody. The parents of the first family that worked with were having marital issues. This was a favorite topic of hers. Wendy told me about every unkind word her mother uttered in her direction. The apple obviously didn't fall far from the tree here. I was told lots of personal information about people I didn't know. The gossip made me very uncomfortable. I told her that I would prefer we not discuss the lives of people who weren't around to speak on their own behalf. This fell on deaf ears.
I became quite used to her disapproval of my loose fitting jeans and T-shirts. Working with kids, I found my favorite cartoon prints were just as possible with my tiny charges. I NEVER wear makeup or heels because I simply don't want to. My dresses always have leggings under them because it make me feel less vulnerable. I never wear shorts or above the knee skirts/dresses. That's a ME thing, not religious or cultural. I find my "uniform" of choice is ideal for working with kids. Wendy informed me more than once that it embarrassed her to be seen in public with me. She often insisted that I wear something of hers if we had to go anywhere.
My husband enjoys photography, particularly long exposure which is done at night. He has a lot of photography friends of both genders, but his best friend is a female. He also enjoys concerts and kayaking, often with an ex from high school. (He graduated in 1997). I trust my husband and have no problem with him spending time with his friends. Enter Wendy's whispers of accusations. She often "jokingly" accused him of cheating on me with these female friends. I don't enjoy concerts, crowds, or being out late; so I support his doing with people who do. At least I know he with someone if something happens. I have bad knees, which make getting in and out of a kayak difficult. Why should that stop him? Again, I told her that I trust him and that I don't appreciate her accusations joke or not. This annoyed her because she doesn't trust Cole.
I know these are major red flag issues. I know how toxic being subjected to these comments is. I also know how difficult it would be on their kids if I left too soon. I knew they needed someone who wasn't emotionally cruel. I stayed for them.
My husband and I spent 2 of our weekends helping them pack and move to house that ended up 15 minutes from us. We were thanked by words, but that was the extent of the gratitude. Wendy's mother looked after the kids while we helped them move. This was complained about because I was already paid to watch the kids during the week. Insert eye roll here!! Her mom felt my husband should be willing to help them move while I watched the kids on the weekend for no extra pay. Either way, we were doing them a HUGE favor to begin with.
A family that I had briefly Nannied for prior to working for Wendy asked if I could help out every other Saturday. The dad (Nice Guy) traveled a lot for work leaving the Mom (Angelface) home alone with the kids. She just needed a day to run errands, work out, and just have time to herself. Angelface is one of the kindest women on this planet. When I did Nanny for them (2 days a week), she was in tears when she had to let me go. They couldn't justify the outgoing money at the time. She referred me to several friends. I am legitimately friend with this family, and still babysit sporadically.
Through a random discussion, I told Wendy about working with Angelface on every other Saturday. She began to tell me what to charge, how many hours to work, and what days to leave open for her just in case. Insert headache inducing eyerolls!
One Friday, Wendy's cousin arrived for a weekend visit with her baby. Wendy told me that because it was a holiday weekend I would not be needed until Tuesday. I double checked via text, and she confirmed that she and Cole were taking the kids to the beach with her cousin. Monday morning I got a call from a passed off Wendy asking where I am. I reminded her that she had told me that they would not need me. I even took a screen shot of our text. She said that Cole had decided to work Monday anyway so she was alone with HER kids. This pissed me off, so I lied. I told her that I was out of town with my mom and wouldn't be home until 5 or 6 pm. She went on about how much of an inconvenience it was to her, and I should have checked before going out of town. For the second time, I sent her a screenshot of my text verifying that I wasn't needed Monday. She abruptly ended the call saying to just be sure to be on time Tuesday. I had NEVER been late, but opted to mention that as we hung up.
Over time we worked out a new arrangement where I brought now G3 to my house 2 days a week, and we stayed there 3 days a week. I helped with cleaning, errands, helped with the new baby (NB), etc. Mostly, I was Wendy's sounding board. She continued to accuse Cole of cheating, wasting money, and even beating her.
My husband and I offered to let her and the kids stay with us, but she declined. Wendy even told me that since she was so sure Cole was cheating, she was going to find herself a side boyfriend to cheat with. I tried to talk her out of it, to no avail. Sadly, she spoke openly about her new boyfriend in fron of G3. During one of her rants I learned that my pay came from him selling drugs. GULP!!
While cleaning out the couch one day, I came across a loaded gun kept in the couch console thing, along with baggies of pills, "dried plants", and white powder. This completely freaked me out. 2 small children and a soon to be crawling baby sat and played on and around that couch. I STRONGLY considered calling Child Pretective Services and the police. I quickly realized that if I did, they would know it was me. I regret it, but I feared their possible retaliation towards us.
Shortly after finding these thing Cole quit his job. For several months while I worked for them, they were both unemployed. Again, I thought it was an easy out. NOPE AGAIN! For another 3 months, they insisted that they couldn't take care of the house and kids without my help. Very often, I arrived to find now B6 fending for himself for breakfast and getting ready for school. He was told to wake up and unlock the door for me, but they went back to sleep. I was expected to keep the baby from crying, and to keep G3 quiet and entertained until they came downstairs. I often chose to simply take both to my house so we could play naturally. We had a crib, so this wasn't a problem for NB. G3 would just nap on the couch or my bed. When out of school B6 preferred this too. This really should have told Wendy and Cole something about their kids, but of course not.
FINALLY, I was informed after about a year of working for them, they could no longer justify paying me. At this point, I had often considered quitting anyway. I mainly stayed because my heart broke for the kids. However, based on her gossipy and judgmental nature ... not to mention my little 3 day weekend fail; I was concerned about what kind of reference Wendy would provide if I chose to quit.
So in 2019, I found myself happily unemployed. The timing here worked out beautifully because Angelface knew neighbors due to have their first baby in 2020. I ended up working for this lovely family until August of 2023. The mom (Joy) and the Dad (Mr. Cool) were such a relief to my entire mental and physical health. We became friends as well, and over time I told them about Wendy. Between Joy, Angelface, Mr. Cool, Nice Guy, my husband, and family I began to realize just hoe toxic Wendy really was to my mental health. My husband never liked her but understood my feelings towards the kids.
For almost a year Wendy would randomly call or FaceTime me .... more often than not while drunk. She would rave about how much she and the kids missed me. We would get together for a meal, and she had me over for a couple birthday parties for the kids. I found myself almost always being the only sober adult watching the kids as the adults partied. Wendy often went back to her gossiping, trash talking, and "jokes" about my husband spending time with women. She would offer underhanded compliments. "It's so nice to see you wearing a dress instead of those tacky T-shirts." You get the drift. She even INFORMED me that since her neighbor was pregnant I could quit my job with Joy and Mr. Cool. She had told her neighbor that I would work for her now, and since they were next door, I would watch her own kids too. I shut that down saying that I was quite happy working with Joy and Mr. Cool. I even lied about what they paid thinking it would detur her further. NOPE yet again. She said that I should quit anyway so her life would be easier with me around. Once more, I told her that wasn't going to happen.
AT LONG LAST, I am coming to the end of my tortuous endurment with Wendy.
A week later, she called and asked if I had quit yet. I said that I had no intention of leaving an "$800" a week job. (Not even close to that with my 3 day a week job, but she didn't need to know the truth.) She told me to let her know when I quit, then changed the subject towards gossiping about that first family and their problems. I told her that I don't feel comfortable gossiping about people who can't speak for themselves. That pissed her off, so she turned it on me again. She said of course I don't want to talk about them since my husband was cheating on me with 2 different women. I angrily corrected her. She has no reason to think my husband is cheating, and I trust him and our friends. Just because she thinks her boyfriend cheats, and she cheats, that doesn't mean everybody does. She then said we could talk when I calmed down and after I quit my job.
After hanging up, I proceeded to block Wendy on everything! Facebook, phone calls, texting, face timing, Instagram, and even Snapchat (which I hadn't used in over a year). I also blocked her mom, and any body that had been friendly simply because Wendy knew them and wanted me to have their information too. I gave her no warning at all. I was beyond passed off, and refused to be talked out of my very gratifying decision.
I told my husband, family, and friends that was now free of Wendy. Not a single person tried to tell me to make ammends. The only guilt that I feel is towards those poor kids. For once though, I put myself first. Joy and Angelface were both extremely supportive when I told them that I had Ghosted Wendy. Both even mentioned how proud they were of me for FINALLY truly stand-up for myself. They were NOT fans of Wendy!!!
I never ended up quitting my job with Joy and Mr. Cool inorder to babysit Wendy's neighbor. I also continued to babysit for Angelface and Nice Guy.
About 7 or 8 months ago, I ran into Wendy at a playground between our two homes. She was with now G5 and B2. I had Joy and Mr. Cool's daughter with me. I was polite, almost obscenely so. I was friendly towards the kids, who were stand off-ish. I offered to let Little Miss play with them, but they weren't interested. Little Miss wanted to do her own thing, so off we went to play. We left after only 15 minutes because Little Miss said "that lady" is scaring her.
That night, my husband got a Facebook message from Wendy. She described my cruelty towards her kids by ignoring them. She said that it was so hateful that I blocked her on everything after all she had done for us. This message went on and on. My husband left it unread for months before my morbid curiosity caused me to open the silly thing. We never responded, but instead he finally bl9cked her too.
Ok, if you read that bloody novel of a post, you are a ROCK STAR!! I don't have any regrets towards my eventual choice, except towards the kids. It breaks my heart knowing what kind of parents they are enduring. I often regret not calling CPS, but there isn't a shadow of doubt that would have retaliated .... most likely violently.
I did eventually get back in contact with that very first Nanny family. They had indeed broken up, but both are happier and healthier now. I warned them that Wendy enjoyed gossiping and spreading rumors about them. Neither were surprised, and both had broken contact with Wendy long ago. They supported my choice to break ties with her as well. Shocking, right!?!
I no longer work full time for Joy and Mr. Cool, as they wanted Little Miss to get used to being around more kids before starting school. I do still sporadically babysit for them and Angelface and Nice Guy though. The two couples have referred me to several other families in the neighborhood, so I stay pretty busy with much more sane individuals.
Maybe I was an A-Hole, and petty. I'm cool with being thought of that way towards Wendy. At least now, I have much kinder people in my life.
EDITED/UPDATE: It has come to my attention that some may feel unfulfilled on the petty revenge side. For this former doormat, removing myself as her very cheap childcare was my revenge. I realize that many may not feel it was enough, but at the time, it was a MAJOR achievement for me. I had worked 8 to 10 hours a day for 5 days a week to receive $300.
When "invited" to parties, I ended up providing free childcare while the other adults got drunk. I don't like the taste of alcohol or the feeling of being buzzed or drunk, so I don't partake. I feared what would happen to the ignored kids, so I found myself watching them.
I never had a lot of friends, so for a long time, I truly thought Wendy was my friend. It took conversations with my husband, my mom, Angelface, Joy, and others for me to see the reality of my situation.
Some may say this post is in fact gossiping about her. To a point, yes I will agree. I did change everybody's names though.
Ultimately, I have always questioned whether or not I was fair or did the right thing by Ghosting and blocking Wendy. I often second guess my choice; especially when thinking about those kids.
I have tried to be more alert about the people around me since this experience. I do still find myself being too nice and accepting of some ways in which I am treated. I have tried to build more boundaries though.
submitted by craftytoonlover to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:32 ritmica Who do you think would've won the 1967 Finals MVP?

The 1967 NBA Finals was the first in a while to not feature the titanic Celtics, after they fell to the 76ers in the East Division Finals in 5 games. In that series, Wilt Chamberlain sported a monstrous 21.6/32.0/10.0 statline to finally tear through Boston and plant the Sixers into the Finals against his former team, the Warriors. This series would prove to be highly unique and entertaining, raising the question of who would have won the Finals MVP.
Now, the award would not be instituted for another two years, when Jerry West begrudgingly received the inaugural achievement in 1969 after losing yet another championship to the Celtics. This would also be the only time in which a player from the losing team won the award, which will likely forever remain unique to it. But let's say the Finals MVP were a thing in 1967: Who would have won it? In most Finals prior to 1969, I think the Finals MVP would have been fairly obvious, but for 1967, I believe three different players would have a solid argument for the award.
1. Wilt Chamberlain: As the leader of the winning team, Wilt may be the easiest choice. Not only did he lead his team in rebounds (28.5 per game), but he also led in assists (6.8 per game). Wilt's distributive mentality was likely a key reason why he broke through this year, as opposed to years prior when his singular heroics weren't enough to make it to the finish line against balanced opposition. However, his point totals this series were comparatively meager, with only 17.7 per game. Although this was likely a by-product of playing more for the pass, a lot of it was also probably due to being matched up against defensive juggernaut Nate Thurmond, who himself put on an impressive showing in the series with a 14.2/26.7/3.3 statline. Wilt also only shot 30.6% from the charity stripe. So, although Wilt had a great series as the de facto leader of the winning team, perhaps his newfound playstyle opened up opportunities for other players to shine even brighter. Namely...
2. Hal Greer: Most Finals MVPs go to the top scorer of the winning team, which was Hal in this case (26.0 per game). Greer was also an aggressive rebounder for a guard, finishing with 8.0 per game, and he nearly matched Wilt in assists, with 6.2 per game. Even though fellow teammates Chet Walker, Wali Jones and Billy Cunningham also scored well this series, Greer was the only near-equal of Wilt's in minutes played (46.0 per game). Possessions often ran through Greer, whose relatively poor field goal percentage (39.9%) can be excused by his high volume. He also succeeded with an 82.6% success rate from the free throw line. Overall, Greer was definitely a high performer this series, but certainly not in a different stratosphere, unlike...
3. Rick Barry: The Miami Greyhound has a great argument for being the top performer in this series by a long shot. Barry posted a whopping 40.8 points per game, which still stands as the second-highest PPG in Finals history (only behind Jordan's 41.0 in 1993). Scoring at least 30 points in each of the six games, the small forward also put up 55 in game 3 (also tied for second all-time with '93 MJ). With 8.8 rebounds per game and 3.3 assists per game, Rick Barry's offense almost single-handedly won the Warriors the title. And he was only 22 years old at the time! But, of course, his team didn't win; the sixth and final game of the series saw him pour in 44, but the Warriors still lost by 3 thanks to a steady team effort from Philadelphia. Even though Finals MVP would only ever be awarded to a winning player from 1970 onward, we can't assume that precedent would be set in 1967, as Jerry West's case two years later would show us.
So, if the Finals MVP were awarded in 1967, who do you think would have won it? The leader of the winning team who may not have had the best stats? The top scorer on the winning team? Or the record-breaking scorer on the losing team?
submitted by ritmica to VintageNBA [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:28 Shiner7 Would anyone care to help me out?

(iOS only)
So I play this mobile app and they give free stuff for referral so if u wanna help here’s what u gotta do as it’s pretty simple
  1. Download the app and make a profile by using Apple to make a account
  2. Then just grab a song through the little music dots around your area when u allow locations to be on (dw the game is just Pokémon go but for music)
  3. After u got one song, u can delete it and just be on your way unless u wanna try the game out then go ahead(The game is fun and addicting😭)
Here’s the link if ur interested or want to help - https://soundmap.gg/reemdmv/2gPp0e
submitted by Shiner7 to teenagers [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:23 TheGentlemanBirb I broke my own friend group from actions I have done.

TLDR; I ruined my friend group and am left alone by asking a friend out for nudes, overreacting by attempting suicide, and ruining another friends birthday. I just need some relief, even if that relief comes with harsh advice and opinions. Currently seeing a therapist.
Sorry for the long post.
So just as the title says, I ruined my own friend group due to my own actions and choices. So to start, I had a friend of mine (Alias: Sarah, not real name) that was coming over to visit in my location. We were friends for 8+ years along with another group of friends. We were all pretty close to each other, and she was just visiting to catch up since it's been a while since she saw any of us.
Back in highschool, I had a huge crush on her that never came to fruition. To the point where she was all I could think about even though I know it's unhealthy and I needed to be able to move on. So I moved schools to try and clear my head of her, and she moved back to her home town. We managed to stay in touch in spite of that, and I fortunately moved on from her.
In present day, we did our usual thing of hanging out and chilling within the friend group for about 1 month. Another friend of mine in the group (Alias: Steven) had his birthday coming up in February and Sarah was extremely excited since back in highschool, they were relatively close and she wanted to plan a whole birthday party for him. It was an exciting time coming up. Or at least it should have been. I started to develop feelings for her again, unknowingly at the time.
Later, Sarah invited me to discuss plans for his birthday since she didn't really keep in touch with him since he was always busy. After a while, we decided to play a game and chat. During that chat, I admitted to liking her and did something deplorable and asked her for nudes. I don't know why I did it, I have no prior history of doing this, and I thought that I had gotten over her. I have no excuse either. I also said this while also knowing that she recently dumped her boyfriend when she came over here to my location. Again, I feel ashamed. Surprisingly, she continued playing with me and didn't say anything about it. But I could tell she was uncomfortable as we continued to talk.
A day later, we had a chat about how I made her uncomfortable and how she was both surprised and disappointed in me when I said what I said. She still wanted to hang out with the friend group so, we all hung out a week later and tried to act like nothing happened as we still prepared for Stevens birthday. Though it was obvious to everyone that me and her had a bit of a strained relationship. Making the whole trip uncomfortable. I probably would have declined going if I wasn't the designated driver and was the only one who owned a car at the time.
I messaged her later, and she messaged back that it might be best that she separated herself from the group. Initially I managed to keep my cool and messaged her that I respected her boundaries. Though outside of that text, I was breaking down. It didn't make sense to me since I wanted to respect her boundaries and I understood why she needed to step away. A couple of days later, I couldn't handle my emotions and overreacted and messaged the whole friend group and Sarah that I was gonna kill myself. And spent a week in the psychward before being released.
Of course, my friends were concerned and reached out to me, hoping I was ok, especially since I had a history of suicide attempts. I acted immaturely and shut myself in my house. 2 months later, I messaged Sarah first. Not my other close friends, but Sarah. And asked how she was doing. After a bit of time, of trying to reach her, I asked if she still wanted to be friends even if our relationship wasn't going to be the same. Understandably, she stated that she would be uncomfortable with that and wanted to maintain her boundaries. I didn't lash out on her or anything like that, but I did ask if there was any way for her to forgive. She said she didn't hate me and genuinely wishes that I get better. I simply said my condolences and thank you. But I was still breaking.
I immediately messaged another person in the friend group (Kyle) and he tried his best to comfort me, saying things like "You'll need to start accepting yourself" and "It'll be hard and may take months to years, but you gotta hold on." I lashed out on him despite him trying his best to give me advice and what not. I didn't even apologize to him until a week later. Though, I assume the damage has been done and our contact lessened since then. Including the whole friend group. Honestly, I should have apologized to the whole friend for my actions. Especially Steven since he had his birthday ruined from a suicide attempt and no party. But the damage was already done.
I regret every bit of what happened, and for the past few months since then, it's been eating me alive. I've stayed unemployed and lived off my savings. I can barely even find the motivation to even try to find a job. I'm currently seeing a therapist for this since I lost my friend group, and I started to harm myself since the whole incident. I'm not really looking for justification since I know I was in the wrong. I wouldn't accept it anyway if anyone said otherwise. But part of me wants relief, even if it comes from strangers from the internet.
I'm having a hard time forgiving myself for the whole thing. I even had the gall to message my former friend group again this month if they wanted to hang out. I got ghosted of course or simply said they were busy. Made me question if I should even be associated with anyone if I could cause relationships to break up this badly. I know the best course of action should be that I should reach out to new people to take my mind off things, but I can barely find the motivation to try. Plus since I'm not working, I can't really afford to head out. This whole post is just me beating myself up (Literally and metaphorically), which doesn't help, but I'm for sure a dumbass. And I'm just trying to recover. I became a complete shut in for the past few months and it's not healthy nor mature. But I'm at a loss of what to do. My therapist is more so trying to figure out the history behind why I acted the way I did, since my childhood has been trauma free for the most part. I honestly feel like it's the end of the world, even though I know it's not and I could just treat this as a lesson.
submitted by TheGentlemanBirb to lonely [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:20 smartybrome List of FREE and Best Selling Discounted Courses

Udemy Free Courses for 14 May 2024

Note : Coupons might expire anytime, so enroll as soon as possible to get the courses for FREE.
GET MORE FREE ONLINE COURSES WITH CERTIFICATE – CLICK HERE
submitted by smartybrome to udemyfreebies [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:20 smartybrome List of FREE and Best Selling Discounted Courses

Udemy Free Courses for 14 May 2024

Note : Coupons might expire anytime, so enroll as soon as possible to get the courses for FREE.
GET MORE FREE ONLINE COURSES WITH CERTIFICATE – CLICK HERE
submitted by smartybrome to udemyfreeebies [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:11 quantumlocke Legends 4k Pinball Comprehensive Input Lag Analysis

Hey all, I'm a new 4KP Attack from Mars owner, but not new to virtual pinball. I'm sure you've all seen the discourse, but many people aren't thrilled with the lag on the 4KP right now, myself included.
Opinions here seem to range from "this is not a problem, calm down" to "native Zen tables are literally unplayable." I land somewhere in between.
I've had some free time over the last week, so here you go: an unnecessarily in-depth look at the state of input lag on the 4KP as of early May 2024. Everything was measured the week of 5/6.
Ideally, my setup is going to be mostly used for OTG play from my PC with Popper as the front end, so my main goal with this process was to calculate the 4KP hardware's "added lag," which I'm defining as lag above and beyond what I get when using a wired keyboard and low latency gaming monitor.
I don't want to bury the lede too much, so let me put some of my conclusions up near the top:
*I'm defining "being a problem" as lag significant enough to cause some completely missed hits and ball drains. In other words, the issue isn't just needing to learn new timing for precision shots. Basically, situations where my reflexes are fast enough, but the hardware isn't.
Measurement
What matters in virtual pinball is total input lag or latency, as measured from button press to flip. That means I'm not looking at, for example, VPX's self-reported video latency.
For measurement I used high frame rate video, which is really the best way to measure total latency with the actual vpin software in a real world use situation. I used the iOS app Is it Snappy? with my iPhone 15 Pro Max. The phone can do 240 frames per second for a frame duration of ~4.2ms. In the app, you tag the frame where the flipper button was pressed and the frame where flipper motion is first seen, giving us a maximum measurement error of ±~8.4ms, but likely much lower.
To standardize as much as possible, when tagging the input frame I tagged the frame that best represented the button being fully pressed. This goes both for the 4KP flipper button and the keyboard button. This seemed like the best way to be consistent from measurement to measurement. I'll also note that doing this errs on the conservative/low side since both flipper buttons and keyboard keys are actuated before they are fully pressed. So the "true" input lag should be slightly higher even than I'm reporting.
I measured a lot of variables that ended up not making a meaningful difference for my setup. Direct X VPX vs Open GL VPX - didn't seem to matter. DisplayPort to HDMI cable vs HDMI to HDMI cable for the playfield - didn't seem to matter. VPX backglass running in .exe mode or not - didn't seem to matter. Having no VPX backglass at all - well this one did seem to show a very small potential gain, but it was within the margin of error.
Your Brain
One last and important bit of context: research seems to show that the human brain perceives anything under 100ms as an instant effect when pressing a button. Source: Google. That may be true in terms of a value judgment of "was that instant?," but we can still feel the difference between, for example, 50ms and 100ms of total lag. We could still set 100ms of total input lag though as a soft target or maximum lag that still feels purely good. For me, somewhere in the 100-125ms range is where it starts to feel sluggish, and somewhere between 125ms and 150ms is definitely where it starts to feel bad. I don't have a firm line on what qualifies as unplayable, and I'll leave that to each of you to decide for yourselves.
Results:
To keep things consistent, my VPX table was this version of Attack From Mars because it was specifically tagged as having fast flips and wasn't a brand new table with all the latest bells and whistles. These numbers represent the average of at least 3 separate measurements.
Output: Native 4KP Output: PC to Monitor Output: PC to Playfield
Native 4KP:
Magic Pixel Tables ~45ms - -
Attack from Mars (Effects off) ~125ms - -
Attack from Mars (Effects on) ~138ms - -
OTG:
Pinball FX (Effects on and off) - - ~150ms
VPX w/ keyboard input - ~88ms ~114ms
VPX w/ 4KP button input - ~96ms ~131ms
So there you have it: an average of ~131ms of total input lag when playing VPX in OTG mode. The 4KP hardware seems to be adding roughly 10-15ms of lag on the input side and roughly 25-35ms of lag on the output side, for a total of ~35-60ms of added lag. This is definitely falling short of my soft target of 100ms or less of total lag, which explains why OTG play on the 4KP doesn't feel great right now. Pinball FX is especially bad at ~150ms of total lag, which feels borderline unplayable to me. The native Attack from Mars table is similar right now to VPX OTG. If this level of lag doesn't bother you, I'm happy for you, but it definitely bothers me.
A few last notes:
submitted by quantumlocke to LegendsUltimate [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:09 InverseNexarus Speaks for itself honestly

Speaks for itself honestly
https://preview.redd.it/cf4ry7o6l90d1.png?width=1225&format=png&auto=webp&s=74031a3a0158b89f30386099d77d2df76f1fc25e
Short and sweet story today. It was a Pay to Play Curse of Strahd campaign. Mild Spoilers.
The Bantering DM is an old school boomer who embodies the DM vs Player issue a lot of Grognards are known for. Every NPC interaction could be described as "neutral evil (insert job title) insults the party". The only variation of this was when he played women. He played Ireena as a delusional ditz who does not care about the consequences of her actions, the party, her own safety. He regularly made her do Dexterity Saves to not trip, and when she actually hit with her rapier, he made it sound like an accident.
During combat he'd banter with a friend of his who got to play for free. That player was a barbarian who on average took 2 to 3 minutes to swing his maul once. Meanwhile as a Moon Druid, I took less than 20 seconds to wildshape, cast spells, and make my attacks. Actually knowing how my sheets, plural, work and streamlining my action economy before my turn. But the Barbarian would argue and fight with this DM about everything and sulk when he was told no.
The worst moment was when this 8 intelligence Barbarian meta-gamed hard, asking the Bonegrinder Hag "are the meat pies made of people?" Suddenly this man is sherlock holms asking her questions about her traveling in the dangerous woods alone, her strength modifier, if she can cast magic. I broke character to tell him to cut it out. When he did not, I was in-character running defense for the indefensable.
And of course, people kept popping in and out. Not a single session had a consistent group to roleplay with, and the only reason we dragged along their PCs was because of the meta-knowledge that we are playing D&D.
I just left the game and server an hour ago. The DM's reply says it all frankly. "Oh yeah, well, fuck you, we did not want you anyway!"
LoL - OK boomer.
submitted by InverseNexarus to rpghorrorstories [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:07 atohmdiy Get a Panasonic TX-36PD30 today..;

Get a Panasonic TX-36PD30 today..;
https://preview.redd.it/m9gr77sen90d1.jpg?width=9184&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a1b043308a4d8e0ef85711285bc4817242140ef3
I buy a Panasonic TX-36PD30 today. I admit my back hurt a lot, especially that i also move a Thomson 33MS24E yesterday. The pana is a monstrous 36' and the Thomson a nice old 33' big bubble 4/3 SD set. So yes my back is completely destroye, i need pills ;)
There was some post here related to this TV. I previously started a topic to try to understand better what this TV is really capable of doing, without getting much answer... So after the painful installation i run some test. I made this post for the posterity, there is a few of these set for sale here and there, so it can be useful.
What i found so far :
RGB / Scart Input in progressive mode (Mister direct video + HD Fury X3 in RGB) :
  • 240p is line doubled. Intermittent artifact + blurry motion. In term of lag i cannot say if it's lageless as i cannot test it, but it feel lageless so it's surely very good.
  • 480i looks a lot better but still blurry motion.
  • force scandouble : 480p doesn't work
  • Mister with scaler enable and video_mode=2 doesn't work either, so 480p is not possible in RGB / Scart.
Component Input (Mister + HD Fury in Component mode) :
  • 240p/480i doesn't work
  • 480p60 and 576p/50 only.
  • 640x480 doesn't work, so a mister in direct video + force scandouble doesn't work.
  • Only 720x480 is working
  • Force 16/9 ratio
  • True 480p "16/9" modeline doesn't work, at least the one i tried (852x480p60)
Another observation :
  • Probably the sharpest slot mask tube ever ?
  • Geometry / Linearity / Convergence need slight work, but it's already very good as it, to not say excellent for a consumer set especially considering it's flat.
  • If you run RGB, this set is picky with sync. I first tried a retrotink vga2scart and it's bad. But i admit i only get problem with this thing. If you want a good sync combiner, you need an extron rgb or a real thing like the ultime sync combiner.
So i admit i was disappointed with these limitation, it felt like a bad bet. Only the component input with a 720x480 signal is really usable and it's limited to 16/9. But there is still way of having it better :
  • With my Mister i just set the scandouble fx to 75% scanline and scale to HV integer. So it restore the 4/3 aspect and you get real scanline. It darkens the image of course but it could be easily compensate.
  • With a pc and emulator / retroarch i assume it's easy to do the same if you want the 240p look, just play with aspect ratio and use a basic scanline filter to remove half the line. Same thing for modern retro games (i get this set for this), two simple reshade filter should do it.
  • An OSSC pro should do it if you want a good scaler to mess with aspect ratio and scanline, it should be usefull to people that that run console and not emulator like me.
  • There is several mode that can be switched, so for calibration (i'll do it with my DTP 94 probe) it should be easy to set a mode for 480p and use another mode to calibrate for "fake" 240p. This way it's easy to compensate for the lost of brightness.
There is people around here that gave a lot of -hum, hum- contradictory informations about this set in other posts. Of course they are free to share their finding and we'll see what can be reproduce.
submitted by atohmdiy to crtgaming [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 00:03 Imaginary-Top8459 My experience with perioral dermatitis and my *current* remission

I have been experiencing perioral dermatitis for the better part of a year and I thought that I should share my experience and my *current* remission, including the process of which I *healed* my perioral dermatitis.
Presentation:
I presented with a rash that was very red and bumpy around the perioral region, including the nasolabial folds, the tip of the nose (with only redness), the sides of my chin, and just under my nose on the philtrum.
The rash itself was very red, bumpy, and itchy. It felt as if I had a severe sunburn and felt raw, as if I had been blowing my nose for a week straight.
The rash began one day after using a new vitamin C serum, but I believe this is also when I was trialing nasal steroids for post-nasal drip. I can't remember exactly.
Diagnosis/Treatment process:
I initially felt that the use of betametasone (topical steroid) would help the rash and I had some on hand, as I believed it was an irritant reaction to the new vitamin C serum I had used (or that it burned my skin). The steroids temporarily resolved the rash. I discontinued the new vitamin C serum (and nasal steroids, as I didn't like them), but the rash returned. At this point, I knew it was perioral dermatitis and the steroids weren't a good course of action, so I discontinued this too unless it was extremely irritated to temporarily relieve the burning/ripping sensation.
I then saw a dermatologist, who agreed with me that this was perioral dermatitis. I was advised to discontinue the topical steroids and to refrain from heavy moisturizers, which I had already done, but the rash persisted.
I work at an allergy clinic and decided to complete cosmetic patch testing to identify any potential contact allergens. Patch testing identified formaldehyde, propylene glycol, linalool, and gallates, of which are in almost every cosmetic I own.
I researched new cosmetics that I can use (as I am very into skin care) and found new cosmetics that were allergen free and safe for me to use, including my shampoo and conditioner(s), with the help of incidecoder.com (awesome website to find cosmetics free of specific ingredients).
The perioral rash resolved and the bumps, itchiness, and ripping sensation resolved after a week of my new skincare regimen. The redness slowly went down and it was as if everything was resolving.
After a month or two, the rash came back (though not as bad). I then decided to switch my toothpaste to a fluoride-free (and also SLS free by chance). This resolved the rash again, and it did not persist.
I did some work on a car part (that involved sanding, wearing a respirator, etc)., and my rash came back. I am also very allergic to thiuram, and I suspect that the mask had thiuram in it (also allergic to the epoxy in the clear coat, so that might have also played a role).
At this point, the rash was only really redness (which never really fully resolved) and a dehydration line in the nasolabial folds, but I did not have any itching, burning, or any visible bumps.
Over time, the rash subsided again. Except, now, every time I apply skin care (even ones I am not allergic to), I develop pin-sized red bumps all over the perioral region that look like tiny pimples (white top), though unpoppable. However, this occurs immediately after application of some skin care products (though not consistent; sometimes my cleanser, sometimes toner, sometimes moisturizer, etc), and then resolves within 30 minutes. This suggests to me that it is an irritant dermatitis and not an allergic reaction to my cosmetics.
Currently, I hypothesized that my previous perioral dermatitis, due to allergic reaction, fluoride, steroids, and/or thiuram, etc., compromised my skin barrier and I am now dealing with an irritant dermatitis.
I have removed all actives from my skincare regimen (was exfoliating every few days/twice weekly), removed treatment serums (i.e., THD ascorbate/vitamin C, niacinamide, etc), and decided to focus on repairing my skin barrier.
My current skincare regimen:
  1. Farmacy/Clean it Zero cleansing balm (at night)
  2. Dermalogica ultracalming cleanser (at night)
  3. Anua heartleaf 77 soothing toner (morning and night)
  4. Skin 1004 Hyalu-cica hydrating serum (morning and night)
  5. Skin 1004 centella ampoule (morning and night)
  6. Peter thomas roth Water Drench Hyaluronic Cloud Rich Barrier Moisturizer (morning and night)
  7. Supergoop Unseen screen (morning)
  8. A thin layer of penaten diaper rash cream all over the nasolabial folds, cheeks, and chin area (at night).
Following this regimen, I have had a full remission of my rash, including the redness and the dehydration lines are beginning to subside. I have been on this regimen for just under a week now.
Moral of the story,
  1. Remove fluoride, steroids, and the common perioral dermatitis triggers from regimen.
  2. Check for contact allergens. Almost all "hypoallergenic" or "allergen-free" products that I have found contain my allergens, as propylene glycol is not a common "allergen" in cosmetics.
  3. Focus on repairing skin barrier and hydration.
  4. Apply zinc barrier cream at night and/or in the morning if rash is particularly bad.
It may also be helpful to investigate for nutrient deficiencies. During this time, I also had dry, flakey skin (especially over my forehead/eyebrows) that I had considered was as fungal reaction; however, it was resistant to both moisturization and topical clotrimazole (anti-fungal cream). I was then found to be extremely vitamin D deficient, and the dryness/flaking went away with regular vitamin D supplementation!
Photos:
1-2. When my rash was its most symptomatic
  1. Cut out allergens, rash was beginning to settle.
  2. Rash gone, but left with extremely dry and flakey skin.
  3. Rash/irritant dermatitis immediately following application of any skin care product
  4. My skin 5 minutes ago, with a skincare regimen focused on barrier repair, void of known contact allergens, and applying zinc barrier cream at night time.
I hope that this may be of benefit to someone!
submitted by Imaginary-Top8459 to Perioral_Dermatitis_ [link] [comments]


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