Throughout the show, peaches are referenced through the Peach Truck, Victor's love for them, and their until recently neverending nature. We even have Randall say to Bakta "You're a peach". It's clearly part of the origin story, because it's heavily emphasised.
But it's such a vague clue. I've been searching for early Tudor era due to the 1506 date, and my understanding that this all begins when John Cabot sets off for his voyage in Newfoundland in May of 1498.
But peach references for that era are few and far between, they were just a luxury fruit grown in gardens, primarily in France but also England and Italy. It was a perishable good, so it was rarely traded. And peaches would be rot on a voyage, and dried peaches would be very expensive as rations. If anything, they'd have brought peach pits for planting with them, but Newfoundland is far too cold for them to grow - though they may not know that and bring them anyway.
So I searched for more references on the show. And I realised something.
Fatima says "Take your peaches" to Victor twice.
Victor says "No more peaches" several times.
Remember, Fatima says something like, "This place is trying to tell us something, and only some of us are listening closely enough to hear it."
If you look at it, it kind of looks like someone is force feeding someone saying "take your peaches!" and the other begging "no more peaches".
I have been absolutely wracking my brains trying to figure out what it means. And a crazy coincidence made me stumble across a possible answer.
I was almost going to turn in for the night, when I visited this page after searching "peach" "1498"
https://pulcinellapasta.wordpress.com/2014/08/04/peaches-prunus-persica/
There, it mentions a Friar named Girolamo Savonarola, who I recognised from previous research. Primarily because I'm convinced that various condemned to death criminals are secretly headed to Newfoundland, swapped for someone willing to die for them at the last minute. John Cabot, was part of a secretive order called Brotherhood of St. John the Evangelist of Death, who gave alms to condemned criminals. This friar was supposedly burned for heresy in 1498 for making mad prophecies.
But I dismissed him, because I didn't think there'd be two priests on the island (I think Friar Carbonaris, who funded Cabot's voyage, must be there).
In any case, the article said that Girolamo believed that peaches were poisonous. So I searched:
"Girolamo Savonarola" "peach"
And this website came up:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trial_by_ordeal
I instantly clicked - because I am also of the belief that there is a witch trial with various tortures in the origin story too.
Now, the section on peaches and Girolamo Savonarola are completely different. He was in the "by fire" section and the word "peach" was in the "by poison" section. Here's what the peach section said:
The "penalty of the peach" was an ancient ordeal that involved peach pits or their extracts. The pits contain amygdalin, which is metabolized into cyanide.
I am now of the opinion that it is indeed this torture that is being referenced. Imagine if you will, that Cabot and his colonists brought peach pits, as many other colonists did in that era (Virginia was full of peach trees in Jamestown, and the Spanish brought them too). The peach pits wont grow (too cold). They stop planting them.
Later, in the witch trial, Girolamo Savonarola, the mad friar (I now no longer think Carbonaris is the evil priest) force feeds the Witch or someone she cares about, peach pits, knowing they are poisonous.
As a reminder to her in the current timeline, the evil entity/bogeyman feeds Victor only peaches, sending a whole truck full as a reminder to her of what she endured.

This post isn't meant to be explicit, just to discuss relationships that are characterized by passion without any pressure of commitment, as seems to be a growing trend in younger generations.
The only real relationship I've had was four years long, and it was intense. It's been nine months since I broke up with her and since then I've gone through all the ups and down associated with such an ordeal. I'm finally at a point in my life where I feel self-actualized enough to be adventurous.
Very recently I started hanging out with a girl to have casual sex, and to be honest I found it strange. I'm not used to physical bonds without a deep emotional aspect. Does anyonelse else have any stories or scenarios that they can relate?

Throwaway. Best friend in mid 30's since highschool 20+ years is a raging alcoholic and has been for 10 + years. Up to 26efifth a day. Lives at home with mother and does nothing but drink and earn an EI cheque. I rarely see them but we speak often. I hear weekly through the grapevine about cops finding them walking around neighbourhood drunk, getting into fights at home with a sibling/parents, injuring themselves constant by falling over and now having seizures by reducing alcohol consumption a few weeks ago but now right back on the heavy consumption, major DT'S psychosis in the past seeing figured and screaming, music and voices in head and threatening family once. I can't deal with this anymore watching them destroy everything around them, they won't stop and have given everything to alcohol. I plan to be brutally honest with them this week stating that I will be there when they are willing to be there for themselves but can't watch them kill themselves slowly anymore. Makes me so stressed and livid at the same time. I've trier so hard to help them and nothing works, constant lies and deceit, telling different stories to everyone thinking people don't know. True addict behaviour. I'm done. Is this the right choice?

Okay, so I got recommended this series by a friend. And after reading the first Volume I feel the need to share my thoughts on it.
Let’s start with the characters, beginning with main protagonist.
Rudeus Greyrat is a refreshing change from the majority of Isekai Protagonists I have personally encountered, all be it in a sad and sometimes repulsive way. In most Isekai, the fact the MC is a character form another world or that they are reborn basically has zero bearing on how they act or develop in this new world, but Rudeus actually had to address his past traumas and even has to get past his agoraphobia, I feel like any other series would just hand wave all that away. I personally love the fact he is still a loser, but the fantasizes about grooming a 7 year old and even tried to make moves on a teenager was more than a bit gross, but thankfully Roxy just side stepped him and Paul nipped Rudy’s unhealthy relationship with Sylphy in the bud. Hopefully this is a side of Rudy that won’t persist throughout the series. So far I do not like him, but I’m interested to see where his character is going as it seems his character development will be the primary focus of the story.
On to Paul. I don’t really know what to make of him. I think I could most accurately describe him as a scumbag fresh out of rehab. He is far better now than he was in his past (not hard to accomplish considering he raped someone) but still falls back into his scumy behavior like when he cheated or when he hit Rudy. Though I will say that when he admits he’d get bitter towards people more talented than him but only felt pride when he noticed that Rudy was more talented than him was pretty heartwarming.
Lillia, I honestly can’t decide if I like her or not. She has a lot of endearing moments and qualities, but cheating on Zenith with Paul was a major downside to both her and Paul’s likability but she doesn’t get nearly as much “screen time” to make up for it as Paul did.
Zenith needs a new family. Just take Norn and run for the hills. This saint of a woman has a husband who cheats on her, a best friend who sleeps with her husband, and a son who’d sell her down a river for a pair of used underwear. Any woman selfless enough to put herself in as uncomfortable position as living in the same household as her cheat of a husband and his mistress for the sake of making her son feel better and keeping their illegitimate child safe from danger deserves better.
Roxy. I can’t imagine how she feels at this moment. She probably thought she was the hot shit until a kid less than half her age surpassed her in less than two years of training. Though I suppose she did get quite the view and some memories out of the whole ordeal. I hope we see her again before too long, maybe next time she’ll have special skills of her own that Rudy can’t pull off on the first try.
Sylphy is by far the most wildly out of left field character in this first volume. She is a magic genius that in reality surpasses Rudy, with oddly colored hair that no one in the region has, and half a dozen different races in her heritage and she’s just living on a dirt poor farm in a village will a few hundred residents? Is she the chosen one? I definitely feel like Laws is hiding something about Sylphy but I’m not sure what it is.
Ghislaine gives me a lot of “this in the badass aunt” vibes. Probably because the only real interaction between her and Rudy was one where they chiefly take about Rudy’s parents and the fact that she is badass. Though she is pretty adorable considering she literally got tricked into believing Paul was dead a couple hours after seeing him in person by a letter he had personally handed to her.
Eris, this girl is hilarious, Rudy kinda needed someone who wouldn’t let him get away with his nonsense, so if that’s the role she’s going to play she is perfect. Though I hope she mellows out a bit, characters like her can only go so far before they become annoying or even just straight up abusive.
Edit: yes, I have already started reading the first chapter of V2, so included some of that here too.
On to the world building. It certainly feels as though this volume merely dipped its toes into it. It introduced a lot of things but didn’t go into too much detail. Like the Superd being this world’s equivalent to the Myrddraal/Nazgûl, Laplace is the “Dark Lord”, and stuff like that. I am a bit curious about what exactly a “God” is are they just normal people who are Divine Tier, or is there actually something actually godly about them?
I will say the magic in this setting is a little boring, all you really need to do is memorize the incantations and then you can use it, it makes me question where the actual difficulty is beyond the Mana training. Also how is Silent Spellcasting so rare? It seems pretty easy to pull off even by mistake.
Hopefully there’s a bit more to Battle Aura as a magic system. I imagine it will probably play a pretty big role in the next volume considering Rudy is supposed to specifically training in Swordsmanship and Battle Aura is a vital component of that.

Let me preface by saying I'm a huge proponent of marriage. I wholeheartedly believe in sticking it out and working together, because it can be one of the most beautiful things!! But how does one know when toxic is too toxic?
Here's my not so short story...
We've had plenty of ups and downs. We've been through counseling, we've had many long talks, set goals, action plans, worked extensively on communication, etc. This past weekend was our anniversary and we got out of town without the kids! We had a really lovely weekend. Then yesterday (Mother's Day) we had to find food real quick before the drive back home... Hubby hadn't made any plans which was totally fine. But being the busy brunch holiday that it is, we had to settle on spot we hadn't hoped for. Hubby was admittedly annoyed. So for an hour we sat in mostly awkward silence while I ate and he just had a bloody Mary. Upon leaving I told him it was really disappointing to me to sit in a restaurant like two strangers together after the great weekend we just had. He flipped and got really mad, telling me it wasn't true and I perceived everything wrong and if I just saw it like he saw it, I wouldn't be upset. I'm like please stop... I'm just telling you my feelings and that it made me sad. To which I was informed that my feelings are completely wrong. At this point I was even more hurt and we had a long drive ahead of us, so I just moved to the backseat as things didn't feel like they were moving in a positive direction. I Sat there in silence the entire way, until 3in from home he says "are you just gonna be sad all day?". Being that it certainly didn't feel like any attempt toward a resolution, I just kept my silence. 2 minutes later "I said are you just gonna be sad all day?!". I said "yep, I guess so". This triggered him into a full-blown scream at your wife from the front seat fest. Literal screaming... "You always do this, I guess you got your wish (?), ruin the fucking day if you want, you need to listen to me!" And ended with "FUCK! WOMEN!!" all while I silently took it. He then went on to explain to me that screaming at me is the only way he can get anything across to me, it's the only way to get me to listen. At this point I turned the camera on... Probably not a nice thing to do, but I've been told sooooooo many times "that's not how that happened, that's not what I said, you just love to put me in a negative light". So I wanted to be able to reflect back in this exact moment later to see if any of that rings true.
Anyway, as soon as we were off the highway, I got out of the car and walked home. Alone. And so sad. The worst part is that it was Mother's Day, I'd been away from the kids all weekend and was excited to see them. But they're also not little kids anymore and they would know that I was sad, they could tell I'd been crying.
In trying to talk through everything for way too much of the day, my husband kept telling me WHY he has to scream at me. Oh... and a shitty joke of "guess I'm not getting my mother's day lovin now" (sex).There's been some remorse today from him, but I don't even know if I believe how genuine it is at this point.
He's not an overall bad guy. But heaven forbid I have a feeling that I want to discuss, and he'll go bazooka. No understanding from him, no empathy, no attempt to see why I might feel the way I do or try to fix it. If he can't convince me that my feelings are unjustified, then it becomes a whole ordeal. Wtf do I do.

worstmothersdayever

I tells ya, so much falls into place here. This comes from Helen Hardacre's book Kurozumikyō and the New Religions of Japan, Princeton University Press, Princeton, New Jersey, 1986. First, some background:

The contemporary religious scene in Japan is commonly divided into the "established religions" (kisei shūkyō) and the "new religions" (shinshūkō). These categories are further divided into Buddhist- and Shintō-derived varieties of each as well as into further subcategories.

The titular "Kurozumikyō" is a Shintō new religion founded in 1814 by the Shintō priest Kurozumi Munetada. As of this publication, it had a total membership of 220,000.

Founded by a priest of the "established" Shintō tradition, it is one of the oldest of the so-called new religions and seems to combine aspects of both new and established types. (p. 3)
THE NEW RELIGIONS OF JAPAN
The new religions and their members represent an important and distinctive sector of Japanese society. In spite of the great variety of their doctrines, new religions share a unity of aspiration and world view significantly different from those of secular society and from the so-called established religions. New religions constitute the most vital sector of Japanese religion today and include perhaps 30 percent of the nation's population in their membership. (p. 3)

A source I read recently noted that the Soka Gakkai grew from poaching members of other new religions; it seems this demographic was the most fluid and changeable of Japan's religious demographic. However, at just 30% of the population, even if the Soka Gakkai had managed to claim 100% of these new religions' memberships, it would still have fallen short of Ikeda's self-defined minimum requirement of 1/3 of the population.

Among the doctrines of the new religions there is great variety, since doctrine frequently originates in revelations to a founder. (p. 5)

Here is the Soka Gakkai's version:

• The enlightenment attained by President Toda in prison is the prime point of Soka Buddhism.

Founders tend to be charismatic individuals who attract a following through faith healing rather than through ordination and textual erudition.

The Soka Gakkai version:

• Ikeda: "Every disease can be cured by Gohonzon!"

Also here and here and especially HERE - DEFINITELY with the "faith healing".
As far as the "textual erudition" goes, Toda's post-WWII lectures on the Lotus Sutra were expected to be accepted as the "gold standard" of textual interpretation, and today, SGI members study Ikeda's lectures on texts rather than the texts themselves - see here and here. Who needs any priest??

The new religions tend to recruit their following through evangelistic proselytization and dramatic conversion, at least in the first generation. They promise followers "this-worldly-benefits" in the form of healing, solution of family problems, and material prosperity. In ethics they emphasize family solidarity and qualities of sincerity, frugality, harmony, diligence, and filial piety. Between laity and leaders there is only a vague dividing line, and for the most part, anyone may acquire leadership credentials, including women. Frequently the new religions recognize no sacred centers but those of their own history. (pp. 5-6)

While the Soka Gakkai initially embraced pilgrimages ("tozan") to the Nichiren Shoshu Head Temple Taiseki-ji, their regular activities were centered on Soka Gakkai buildings ("kaikan", or "centers") rather than on Nichiren Shoshu temples. In fact, this was an early source of conflict, as the Nichiren Shoshu priesthood justifiably questioned WHY the Soka Gakkai was putting so much more effort and resources into building NEW Soka Gakkai centers than on building Nichiren Shoshu temples, which would have been the proper function of any religion's legitimate lay organization. Add to that the bad optics of Ikeda's cult's attempted steeplejacking of established Nichiren Shoshu temples, and there was DEFINITELY something rotten in Denmark, so to speak. The Soka Gakkai's focus was trained on IKEDA rather than on the priests of the order they supposedly belonged to as a lay organization. That's some fucked up priorities and it was only a matter of time before that became an open, obvious problem. Of course Ikeda hoped to delay that reckoning until he was in a position to seize the entire Nichiren Shoshu religion for himself. Too bad, so sad, the Nichiren Shoshu priesthood headed him off at the pass and spoiled all his beautiful plots.

The world view of the Japanese new religions conceives of the individual, society, nature, and the universe as an integrated system vitalized by a single principle. Every level represents the manifestation of that principle on a larger scale. The relationships among the levels, however, are not static. They must be maintained in balance, harmony, and congruence. These qualities are manifested in conditions of happiness, health, social stability, abundant harvests, and regular succession of the seasons (free of such calamities as flood, drought, and major earthquakes). The opposite conditions (unhappiness, illness, social unrest, scarcity of food, and natural disasters) are symptomatic of a lack of harmony or congruence. Everything is interconnected so that a change in one dimension, no matter how small, eventually ripples out and affects other dimensions in a larger context. Religious practice is a striving for continuous integration of self with the body, society, nature, and the universe. This involves careful management of the most basic components: the self, the faculties of mind and emotion, and the personality. (pp. 11-12)

This thinking was the basis for Nichiren's Rissho Ankoku Ron, or "On Establishing the etc. & whatever".
Here is the chart that illustrates this thinking; you can clearly see the basis for "A great human revolution in just a single individual will help achieve a change in the destiny of a nation and, further, can even enable a change in the destiny of all humankind". There is no scientific basis for this kind of delusion; ignorant people just LIKE believing it. "Look how IMPORTANT and INFLUENTIAL I am!! Everything is all about MEEE!!!" The Soka Gakkai has been in existence (in a continuous state) for some 80 years now; if this sort of thing DID happen, we'd see it. We already know Ikeda had such high hopes for his followers, but the truth is that the membership never lived up to Ikeda's expectations. No "world leaders" emerged from Soka Gakkai ranks; they didn't even become rich! That simply isn't something that happens because of "this practice", no matter how much Ikeda misled all the gullibles. Daimoku is obviously NOT "the perfect solution for all problems".

Although the new religions inevitably adopt the system I have just described, they state it in different idioms. They may use Buddhist, Shintō, or colloquial terms for the self, calling it variously the kokoro (heart-mind or heart), konjō (guts), *reikon (spirit), tamashii (soul), and other terms. Similarly, they may name the principle vitalizing all existence by Shintō, Buddhist, or other terms: kami-nature, Buddha-nature, karma, ki, yōki, and so forth. They may predicate the existence of a variety of supernaturals who exist on a different plane than human beings, intervening in human affairs from time to time. These may be kami, Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, or ancestors. Alien to the system is the notion of a single deity standing outside the whole and manipulating it by means of an unknowable will. The supernaturals of the integrated system are subject to its rhythms and generally conform to its principles. The system is compatible with a variety of cosmological ideas and world pictures, including horizontal and vertical cosmologies seen in Japanese myths and in Buddhism's many-tiered realms of existence. (pp. 12-14)
Because self-cultivation is the primary task of all, textual erudition, esoteric ritual, and the observance of abstinences are rejected or relegated to secondary significance.

Because "Earthly desires ARE enlightenment", right?? And all that other Buddhism stuff, well, that's all obsolete now, "as useless as last year's calendar", right??

The notion of kokoro is a hallmark of Japanese culture, and it is the central pillar of the world view of the new religions. Consider the following proverb, one that could be endorsed by the new religions and is a stock saying in secular society: "Both suffering and happiness depend on how we bear the kokoro." Kokoro is borne or carried in a certain way, good or bad, and according to that we suffer or are happy. We are in control. An ordinary, nonreligious interpretation of this proverb would say that our attitude toward circumstances determines in large part whether we are happy or unhappy, or that an attitude of "positive thinking" can improve our experience of unfavorable situations even if the circumstances are not thereby altered. (p. 19)

You can see Ikeda alluding to this here:

Even a man who has great wealth, social recognition and many awards may still be shadowed by indescribable suffering deep in his heart. On the other hand, an elderly woman who is not fortunate financially, leading a simple life alone, may feel the sun of joy and happiness rising in her heart each day.

An interpretation of the proverb among the new religions is likely to be much stronger, to hold that human beings certainly have the power to be happy, depending solely on the manner in which one bears kokoro. We need only exercise that power by self-cultivation.

And remember - NO COMPLAINING!!

Moreover, the idea that circumstances can be changed by the power of diligently cultivated kokoro is pervasive. It is a question not only of a change of attitude but sometimes of radical material change, such as an improvement in economic situation or a miraculous healing. It is understood that the cultivated kokoro has the power also to change external persons and events, and that nothing is impossible. Exercising the full power fo the kokoro is possible for anyone who practices self-cultivation through the spiritual disciplines of the particular religious group. (pp. 19-20)

Isn't that the whole basis for the idea of "human revolution"? How else could anyone understand "You can chant for whatever you want!"? Don't the Dead-Ikeda-cult SGI culties love to talk about "making the impossible possible"?? Hmm..I wonder why they never do...🤨
Here Ikeda likens the Soka Gakkai practice to the magic lamp of the "Aladdin" story. And it only works for Soka Gakkai members, of course.

We chant to make the impossible possible, we want extraordinary, not ordinary. Let's get those benefits flowing, let's appreciate those challenges that allow us to grow and win and share those victories with others so that they can be inspired and win. Source

While the terminology of the self is basic to understanding Japanese constructions of self, the patterns of action and affect in which these are embedded constitute the functioning of the world view of the new religions. Here I identify four such patterns:

(1) the idea that "other people are mirrors,"

(2) the exchange of gratitude and repayment of favor,
(3) the quest for sincerity, and
(4) the adherence to paths of self-cultivation.
So much for the supposed "novelty" of Dickeata's supposedly eternal "clear mirror guidance", eh? Oh, and EVERYBODY owes Scamsei and the SGI their eternal gratitude, too, and you NEVER EVER get to finish your "human revolution" ("self-cultivation")!

Each of these patterns represents an indispensable element of Japanese culture, and thus their implementation in Japanese religions is not unique. (p. 21)

Nope. The Soka Gakkai is just bog standard for a Japanese New Religion. Nothing unique or special. Just like all the rest.

The idea that other people are mirrors makes the individual totally responsible in all circumstances. Although the burden is heavy, there is also a tacit message that the self can control any situation. Placing blame and responsibility on the individual also denies the idea that "society" can be blamed for one's problems; hence concepts of exploitation and discrimination are ruled out of consideration. On the whole the new religions are uninterested in political action to improve society; to them it is a question of individuals improving themselves individually and collectively through self-cultivation. (p. 23)

Remember, this author ISN'T talking about Soka Gakkai here! This a feature of ALL Japan's new religions!

Since self-cultivation is the primary determiner of all human affairs, notions of fate or divine wrath (karma or bachi, for example) are reinterpreted, ignored, or denied.

Or introduced when necessary to blame a member when the promises of SGI leaders are proven empty and false. It's always the MEMBERSHIP's fault somehow, never that the teachings are wrong or deceptive.

In like manner, because of the primacy of self-cultivation, the concept of pollution cannot be fully credited, and this opens the door to greater participation by women than is the case in the established religions.

In the case of the Soka Gakkai, "greater participation by women" has been implemented as "greater exploitation of women". The women of the Soka Gakkai were expected to deliver daily newspapers for no pay throughout the Soka Gakkai's history; it is only recently that their numbers have declined so catastrophically and they have aged so much that the Soka Gakkai finally had to contract with a delivery service - which of course Soka Gakkai has to PAY now. Newspapers are SO much more profitable when you can find some suckers to deliver them at no cost to YOU!

Thus the new religions stress unquestioning performance of their established disciplines, fully aware that the demand for uncomprehending obedience (at least iat the beginning) will cause the convert frustration. Also involved as a minor theme is the pedagogical principle that "physical action can be perceived as isomorphic with spiritual change." Thus, for example, polishing floors can be assumed to "polish" the self. If one enters through form, eventually the kokoro will follow.

Speaking of exploiting women, who else heard that when women were cleaning the toilets for free at the local SGI center, they were "cleaning their karma"??

The hardship entailed is not to be avoided; no one denies that it is punishing to polish floors by hand, recite sutras, or endure cold water ablutions. Hardship in itself is virtuous and confers compassion and maturity.

Isn't that the essence of SGI's much-vaunted "youth division training"? Basically, it's SGI leaders getting off on forcing young people to do all sorts of scut work and to engage in unpleasant activities just because they can - somebody has to do the grunt work, right? Make THEM do it! Tell them it's "training" when actually it's just training them to allow themselves to be exploited. For a funny example of this attitude, see how this colossal doofus was trying to cajole and coerce his employee into joining SGI before he aged out of the youth division, so he could get him some of that gooooood "youth division training"!!

Meanwhile, now I worry about Chad, who has only a few months left to obtain YMD training, to whom I had to slip September Living Buddhism under his door, since his subscription is on the internet, and I want him to start working on the Introductory Exam material. Yesterday he did not answer or reply when he was supposed to be at work. (He is paid per day of work from his home.) Today when I arrived he was not even there. So I have been chanting for his welfare. He recently reported to me a medical difficulty he has that may be interfering with his efforts, or worse.

That's ONE way to duck an annoying self-important SGI stalker-nag! "Sorry, can't talk - have the plague..."

All the new religions agree that a person's real potential cannot be fulfilled without suffering, and in this they share with secular society the suspicion about someone who has failed that perhaps kurō ga tarinai, "the person hasn't suffered enough." That is, if one had endured sufficient trials before the present ordeal, one could have conquered this hardship. Accordingly it is important to establish how much leaders and founders have suffered in the course of their own self-cultivation. (p. 28)

See More myths about how the young Ikeda suffered so much and was so sickly wah wah

All problems can be traced to insufficient cultivation of self. Thus it is misguided to expect fundamental social change from political ideology. Instead, society can be improved only through collective moral improvement, the doctrine of meliorism. Similarly, attempting to cure disease simply by treating the body alone is useless. Healing can come about only through rededication to ethical values; hence medicine is effective only in a provisional way. Education and secular achievements apart from faith and cultivation of self are houses of cards, castles on sand. Accordingly, media-sponsored presentation of thoroughly secularized views of life are disapproved. (p. 14)

You can see the clearest examples of this thinking in the teachings of Ikeda and the Soka Gakkai from the 1960s, before people understood how immediate and pervasive "political ideology" could effect fundamental social change, as in the US when the anti-race-mixing "anti-miscegenation" interracial marriage legal prohibitions were swept away in the US Supreme Court's 1967 judgment on "Loving v. Virginia". That changed society more fundamentally and pervasively than any religion's doctrines that people's "hearts" must be changed FIRST before anyone could hope to see societal change realized, or in the terms above, "collective moral improvement". No. Remove unjust laws and establish penalties for behaving unjustly, and voilà! Society changes!
See SGI is actively OPPOSED to social justice and thus will NEVER contribute meaningfully to world peace and More on why SGI will never make any significant changes to society.
Back when Japan's medical system was primitive, with limited availability, the new religions advertised "faith healing", as seen above and here. But as medical care improved and, most importantly, became widely accessible, that became people's healing option of choice, so the new religions (and all the rest) had to drop it as a selling point, because nobody was buying it any more. Within the ignorant and indoctrinated ranks of SGI members, we can STILL see claims of "faith healing"; they apparently don't realize this isn't a compelling sales pitch any more. Except that in house, the superstitious, magical-thinking culties still eat it up with a spoon 🙄
But you can see Ikeda here explaining that medicine is unnecessary to treat various ills; there must be a "faith" component or the treatment will inevitably be ineffective. OR that having faith will make even a nonsensical nontreatment effective! Also slamming medicine as harmful and condemning members as somehow "deserving" of terrible illnesses.
And remember when Ikeda told "girls" they didn't need to go to college? That was fun. And how Icky denigrated university graduates??
Let's not forget how the Soka Gakkai has always been anti-union and has never established any charitable services anywhere, not even for the needy within its own struggling membership.

Lacking justification for a strong differentiation between the religious lives of priests and laity, the tendency to make the laity central is strong and pervasive. (p. 14)

This was a primary issue within the Soka Gakkai that festered until Ikeda brought it to a full boil out of his obsessive desire to BE the object of worship. The Soka Gakkai/Nichiren Shoshu alliance, while expedient for the Soka Gakkai and undeniably profitable for Nichiren Shoshu, was nonetheless an uneasy alliance, given the Soka Gakkai's defining characteristics as a "new religion" and Nichiren Shoshu's "established religion" status. Those two simply don't mix. Especially on this last point, you can see that it is a characteristic of a "new religion" to have the fundamental attitude that "priests are unnecessary". Ikeda simply wanted to USE Nichiren Shoshu for his OWN convenience, in service to HIS plans, instead of directing the Soka Gakkai to function as a legitimate lay organization whose focus was their religion, Nichiren Shoshu. Ikeda made it all about himself and his goal of maximizing his own power and control. Ikeda was never a religious person.

Yo, dads. Not sure if I'm looking for advice, stories or just solidarity here. My wife and I are increasingly sure our 5.5-year-old has Oppositional Defiant Disorder and/or ADHD.
Basically, every action that needs to be completed has a high potential to turn into a struggle with our kid. For instance, exiting our car after all going to a playground yesterday became an ordeal - I won't leave a little kid alone in a hot car in our driveway in front of our house. Not a random hill I'm choosing to die on; it's something that cannot be allowed. Everyone's dealt with this, but it's damn near every time and any potentially anything that needs to be stopped/started can trigger an impasse - and specifically when my wife is in the mix. When it's just myself and my daughter, she's waaaay more reliable and civilized.
And it seems like this dynamic has turned into a real rut, especially on weekends. We also have twin one-year-olds, but my older daughter was like this prior to the babies being around. We'd hoped as she aged a bit, this propensity for completely obstinate behavior would decrease. It seemed to ebb for a while, but it's come back around to the point that we dread weekends where we're all together. And, look, we give plenty of praise when she does good things, especially unasked, so it's not just a bunch of "no!" Likewise, we explain why we want things done or not (it might break, it's unkind, we'll be late, etc.) so we're not just issuing a litany of commands for no reason. And we give her special time together with just us as parents individually.
Some of it may be just being ready for a change with school and activities, which is thankfully about to happen with summer, and some of it is definitely that she has a high sensitivity to being at all tired or hungry or sick, in that those factors really make her act like a psycho. But, fundamentally, she's always been wired to dig in her heels and...just press our buttons by whatever means she has available.
We're sorta at a loss here. We're starting to get the ball rolling again with some family counseling stuff (we had one shitty child psych about a year ago be like, "Of course she's messed up. She has new babies in the house."). My wife is a veteran kindergarten teacher, and I'm a former military officer, so we're not like n00b pushovers about having a backbone when needing to ensure we communicate a direction clearly and authoritatively. But, like, we hear from friends about how hard their kids are, and it's clear our daughter is simply a harder case. And with baby twins to also raise, we don't have the luxury of waiting out her resolve every single time. Some things just have to get done right then and how we say.
Of course, I can't communicate all the nuance here, but would appreciate hearing from dads who have been here, especially ones that got a clinical diagnosis. What's the journey like? What successes have you had? Our daughter has tons of friends and is well-loved by her teachers, but she seriously lets it all hang out at home, and it just ain't getting better yet.

To start off with, I need to give some background. My main family consists of me, my mother, my father, and my (half) sister-who is very mentally disabled, best described as "Angelman Syndrome". My father is a pretty normal guy, and I am very thankful for him. My sister is mentally disabled, and she can't really live her life, so I try to give her the best one. My mom has always been somewhat entitled, but she is VERY mentally unwell.
My mother and father have been divorced for as long as I can remember. One night he came home to her being drunk, and when trying to help her, she called the cops on him for some reason, and told the cops that he was abusing her, hitting her, the whole ordeal, and unfortuantely for my father, the cops that showed up were IDIOTS, believing my mother immediately without even letting my father speak. Dad spent the night is prison that evening. My father could've just accepted the punishment he was given, but here's the thing, at the time this happened, my mother was pregnant with me, and he knew she would try and keep me after the divorce they were planning, and if he had been arrested for abusing his wife, it wouldn't go so well when he tried to have some custody over me. So he didn't accept that punishment, and fought in court for this false accusation against him.
One night nearing the end of the court case, my mother called him to try and manipulate my father into just "giving up, and that the court would believe a woman over him." My father then said back, and I quote: "I will be penniless and living on the street before I allow that boy to be living with you for his entire life. I won't be giving this up." and then hung up in her face, After years of fighting, he finally won the court over and cleared his name, and after I was born, divorced my mother, and the court allowed equal custody over me. (Despite this, my mother did try to steal me and move away when I was two years old, but thankfully for me and my dad, my mother's side of the family are really good people, and when she tried to move in with them for a short while, far out of town, they called my father immediately without a second thought).
This story offically begins back when I was very little, specifically 6-7 years old. This is the year that my sister was born. It is worth mentioning that my sister is not my father's child, I don't know most of the details, but I'm fairly certain she was an "accidental" pregnancy. Anyway, for my entire life, my mother was kind of awful at being a mother. Making me, a child, take care of a disabled baby for the entire day, including the food procedure (which I'm not even going to go into, lets just say it requires a certain machine.) yelling at me constantly, then apologizing later. I always accepted these apologies, because she is really good at making me feel guilty. These yellings included when I was trying to go to sleep, and then actually making me get up and do work whenever she was angry with me. I don't even remember most of the reasons, because I heard so many rants that I eventually learned to ignore them.
All in all, she was never the best mother, but she doesn't hate me, far from it. I do know she does care about me, and thats honestly the annoying part. Anyway, my mother doesn't have a job, so she was living off the money my father was sending her to take care of ME, and the money she got from the government for my sister, since she was heavily disabled. Because of this, whoever is taking care of my sister IS getting money to take care of her. (Keep this in mind, its important later). This also eventually applied to me, as I was diagnosed with ADHD among other things at a young age, and my mother was happy when I got diagnosed. (Gee, I wonder why).
Eventually, my mother had to accept that she couldn't keep taking care of my sister, (EVEN THOUGH I WAS THE ONE DOING IT AT ALL TIMES EXCEPT WHEN I WAS AT SCHOOL OR MY FATHER'S) so she got someone to take care of her, a very nice woman and husband. (We'll call them nice wife and husband for simplicity). My sister lived with them for a few years, and my life was going uphill. I still visited her every day available, since the nice couple lived relatively close to my mother's house. Eventually, the nice couple started considering adopting my sister. Even though she was a little troublemaker and a crybaby, they loved her just as much, if not more than I did. However, whoever is taking care of my sister gets money handed to them, which is enough to take care of her needs and more. And if the nice husband and wife adopted her, they would then keep getting that money for the rest of time.
So my mother immediately took my sister back, and manipulated me into thinking that they were "bad guys who were trying to take my sister away." I hate to admit it, but if not for my father, I would have ended up like an entitled brat, because I believed everything she said as a child, and this was no exception. I deleted their contact info, spoke badly about them, and were angry to them. I heavily regret this after learning the truth, and really wish I could apologize.
So, with my sister now back in my mother's house, my mom (THANKFULLY) hired a group of social workers, basically multiple babysitters. They would be there every morning, from 9am to 11pm, except on Friday evenings and Saturdays. But honestly, while they did take good care of my sister during the day, my sleep schedule didn't change much, because since I cared about my sister and my mother, I took it upon myself to constantly wake up during the night to fix her machine whenever it stopped. Not a good idea for a young child to do that, but I cared and loved my sister, while also feeling pity for my mother. (Also, she never woke up to do it, so I felt like I had to).
My father later described me when he came to pick me up on Saturday afternoons as: "if anger could be a person" and honestly, he's right about that. Not having a good sleep, having to take care of my disabled sister who always cried, while listening to my mother always yell at me, while stressed about schoolwork didn't make me any happier. Apparently there were a few days where my father actually saw me shaking with rage. (I find that funny, but I probably shouldn't lol)
Around the time Covid was starting up, my mother's house caught on fire. I don't remember the exact details, its all a blur now, especially considering I was the one who noticed it, and got everyone out at about 3am in the morning. It was either due to wiring or a candle/paper. Luckily, no one was hurt, no one died, and my dog was fine too. (The fire/smoke did eventually lead to him dying a year later though... lung cancer) the only thing really lost was a lot of clothing and my mother's bed, not a huge loss. Anyway, since Covid was started up, we lived in a leased-out home for the duration of it. Not too bad, pretty big, quiet neighbourhood.
For the duration of Covid, it was back to me, and me alone taking care of my sister for a year or so. (Social distancing and all). Trapped in a house yet again with my mother yelling, my sister crying, and me losing my mind. My mother's mental health wasn't getting any better as time went on either, causing her to have... certain delusions. One of these included when the social workers were allowed to come back and help out, when Covid restrictions started to lift, one of them ended up hurting her back when carrying my sister, and my mother blamed me for some reason.
It took a while, no thanks to Covid, but eventually, my mother's house was fixed thanks to insurance. My mother was having certain delusions at this time, her mental wellness at an all-time-low. She eventually started hallucinating, but never spoke about it, and had the delusion that people were living in the attic. She called me in and handed me her phone, telling me to be ready to dial 911 while she went up to check. I didn't think much of it, other than telling her that no one was there and to calm down. I guess I didn't tell her that enough.
On just another morning, I woke up at my father's house, and headed downstairs to get breakfast ready. My father was already there, with a look I'd never seen on him before, He then informed me that my mother's house had burned down AGAIN, except this time, it WAS on purpose. My mother had apparently set a fire in the living room, trying to "smoke out" the people she thought was in the attic. Thankfully, it happened on a Friday night, so there was no worker there, but my sister WAS there, sleeping soundly. Thankfully, instead of killing herself and my sister, my mother actually got her out of there. They were both fine, but at this point, 85% of ALL my stuff was now gone for good. I was thankful my sister and mother were ok, but I now did not trust my mother, both for almost killing my sister, and for destroying all of my memories/keepsakes from my entire life, as well as the year-long school projects that I had been working on, and now had to redo, with only a week left.
The details get a little fuzzy here, mostly because I was a kid, and my father tried to get details, but he couldn't get many. My sister was thankfully taken away from my mother, given to a little house for disabled people, except she's the only one there, having multiple people take care of her. I visited her every week or so, and she's fine. She has no mental comprehension of much in life, and honestly, considering what she had been through, I was sort of happy in a way. My mother was apparently taken to a psyche ward, and TO THIS DAY, I still don't know the details of that anaylsis, because she never sent it to my father. My father and I both think she doesn't want us to know, which isn't exactly a good sign.
Now, during this time, a court date was set up, but eventually, my mother and I started talking over the phone, and for a while, it went ok. But every time, she would start to go off the rails lecturing me, yelling at me, and I've heard so many of her rambles that I don't remember most of her words. She, like I said before, is really good at using the guilt card on me, and I am not good at avoiding it, but my father was always there on standby, because he knew very well that one way or another, my mother would most likely go off the rails. There were multiple times that he took the phone from me after she started ranting, then shut her up with a quick one-liner of some sort, and then hung up in her face.
My mother apparently did other... odd things. From stealing a car thinking that the cops were after her, (in the dead of night, with no sirens by the way) to..... probably the biggest delusion yet. My dad has a good friend, who we'll call Dave. (Not his real name). Dave unfortuantely lives somewhat close to my mother's house, and while my mother occasionally has ranted at him in the past, he doesn't really care about most of it. He's a chill guy who doesn't get freaked out by much in life. But, well, one day he pulled a letter out of his mailbox from my mother. He didn't care at first, but after reading it, was freaked out. I won't go into details of everything said, but she just apologized for a lot of things that didn't even happen, one involving my mother telling Dave that she didn't kill his mother. (Dave's mother is still alive and well, by the way)
Eventually, the denying of killing transferred over to me with the phone calls. In one phone call, my father wasn't there, and she started to go off the rails, denying about wanting to kill my sister, and describing how she could have. Knowing her very well, I simply took my phone and set it to start recording, then gave said recording to my father, telling him he could use it if he wanted. My dad apparently showed the recording to his lawyer, (With my permission) who is a good friend, and she was apparently appalled.
About the court date, it was set up, and she was charged for a number of things. But... she evaded coming to court for so long, and the time it took for the court to even get set up, made it so that the court timer eventually ran out, and charges on her were (mostly) dropped. After this, she IMMEDIATELY tried to start getting my sister back into her custody, not because she loved her, but again, because whoever is taking care of my sister gets money to take care of her, and a little extra. Through the 3 years this happened, and even to this day, she never got a job. You might be wondering how she survived for that long without going homeless. Well, she ransacked my room, sold whatever was able to be salvaged, and stole my wallet, which at the time, was everything I had saved up, over about $1000. My dad, being the caring man he is, eventually gave me that money to make up for it. She sold her car, and eventually had to sell her house, because she WILL NOT GET A DAMN JOB, EVER.
She eventually throughout months of trying did get my sister back into her custody, but thankfully, people knew of her past with her, and she was assigned people to do random drinking/smoking tests on her, as well as check on my sister. (My mother was also a heavy drinker and smoker coming up, and I know this because 8/10 times, she's brought me with her to the smoking shop.) They could come at any time, and could check whether she'd done either of these things. Let's just say, that my mother didn't even last 5 months. She went to the hospital for reasons I'm unaware of and lost custody of my sister, again. I do know she failed the test of checking on her smoking. (Can't say I'm surprised)
Throughout all these years, my mother has always asked me to call, and moreso to come meet her in person, and with the court charges dropped, she persisted on that even harder, but I've never wanted to do that. My dad relays all this to my mother over text messages, because like hell I'm telling her through my messages, because then she'd have my phone number. My mother has always blamed my father, claiming he won't let her see me, which he doesn't care about, especially since everyone but her has realized, that this is MY CHOICE.
Eventually, about a month ago, she asked my father if she could meet me in person. (She's never getting my sister back now, so her only option is me, because she really needed money, because she just REFUSES TO GET A JOB). This was basically a last-dtich-attempt from my mother to see me, saying that if I wasn't going to, she would move away from my town. My father told me all of this, (every messages she sends get relayed to me through him, and shows me the messages to prove it) I thought about it, and I told him to tell her, in no uncertain terms, that I, and me alone, do not wish to see her.
He gave that message to her, and she's been silent ever since. I do feel somewhat bad for her, but I feel like I shouldn't, but she is my mother. I don't really miss her, but I do feel bad.
There will likely be no updates, this is the entire story, from start to finish. Sorry for making this so long though.
All I ask, is am I the jerk for not wanting to see my mother again, and what should I do?

The Bondo apes (sometimes referred to as Bili apes) originated in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, but have also been sighted in the neighbouring countries, South Sudan being one. The Bondo apes were first reported in 2003 - being claimed to be bipedal apes over 6ft tall. They nest on the ground like gorillas, but have a diet and features characteristic of a chimpanzee. This diet includes mainly fruits, yet fascinatingly, the apes have allegedly been sighted eating small rodents, birds and even small monkeys. The apes have also been sighted hunting in packs, moving on their hind-legs, similar to a human. They have since also been nicknamed ‘lion-killers’ - for allegedly being responsible for the deaths of a number of different lions that invaded their territory.
In 2015, in an interview with a hunter named Faheem, more terrifying details of the mystery Bondo apes would emerge. Ethan Howard, a primatologist and zoologist from Kings College London, would visit Ibba on the border of South Sudan and the DRC. His goal was simple, to either prove or disprove the existence of Bondo apes. He went on a number of expeditions to a nearby rainforest - yet found no physical proof of the apes. However, in Howard’s interviews with locals - he unearthed some strange facts about the Bondo apes.
Howard interviewed Faheem (last name unknown), who was a hunter in the region for many years. He said prior to this incident he had heard rumours of the Bondo apes - but never believed them. The incident occurred with Faheem and his friend, about 10 years prior, when they underwent this horrific ordeal.
The two men were out hunting, with the day not being entirely fruitful so far. This forced them to continue their hunt even into the night, which Faheem notes is something they would only do in times of desperation (due to the dangers that the rainforest possessed). The men were crouched by a bush, hiding in the trees, waiting for the sounds of wildebeest or deer, when the sounds of something else would come from the darkness. What they saw would be far more frightening than anything they could imagine. Allegedly, a group of 12 bipedal figures emerged from the trees. The figures came out of the darkness slowly, one pair at a time, as if they were in a hunting formation. They had huge long arms, that dropped down to their knee caps, and a muscular frame all over. The hunters were shocked to see their faces - expecting them to be men - but being greeted by the unmistakable face of gorillas. The bodies however were far more slim and athletic than that of gorillas. Their looks combined with their bipedal, human-like nature, shocked the hunters into paralysis. The apes appeared to be on a hunt themselves, almost silently traversing through the undergrowth of the forest - scanning around. It was at this moment one of the apes raised his head: and made direct eye contact with Faheem. The pair of men froze in fear, as the ape grunted towards the rest of the pack. They all turned, slowly, in a way almost out of a horror film. Howard writes that upon the retelling of this story, at this point Faheem begins to stutter and struggle to get his words out - as if he’s reliving it. The hunter explains how one of the Bondo apes then lifted its head towards the sky - and began to howl. This howling was accompanied by the rest of them, who all in unison let out their own howls. A screech almost, towards the black night sky.
This was enough to unfreeze the hunters.
They both began to bolt, fleeing in two random directions. Faheem lost his friend in the chaos, only focusing on his own survival. He crashed through the undergrowth of the forest, dodging trees and vines, running as fast as he could to make his escape. He describes the thudding he heard behind him. The thudding of footsteps. When he looked behind him (at this point Howard describes how Faheem even gets choked up retelling the story), when he looked behind him, one of the Bondo apes was running after him. Running after him on two legs. To see a 6ft ape with the face of a gorilla - sprinting on its hind legs - Faheem could only run faster. He kept watching in horror, even whilst running in fear, and witnessed the ape drop down seamlessly to all fours and start leaping towards him in a more ape-like manner - gaining on him quickly.
He describes how as soon as he passed a specific part of the forest however, the ape stopped dead in its tracks. Faheem kept running a few seconds more, before stopping as well to turn around and check on his pursuer. The ape was stood there. As if held back by an invisible wall. It lifted its upper lip, and snarled at him. A couple of seconds later this was followed by howling from a different part of the forest, which was greeted by the ape breaking his stare, and racing off into the darkness after the howls.
Faheem told Mr Howard how he never saw his friend again. He explained how he had been ridiculed by his village for years after, that apes would never attack a human. For years nobody believed his claims, until wider attention was brought to the Bondo apes in 2015 in the Congo. Since then numerous skulls of the apes have been found, and more sightings have occurred. It’s theorised the reason that the ape stopped chasing Faheem so suddenly that night, is due to the Bondo apes territoriality. Faheem potentially ran into an area of forest (unknowingly) that was the domain of another troop of Bondo apes, that his pursuer knew to respect.
Whilst Bondo apes are still not credited scientifically as a species, it is not hard to imagine the likelihood of a species like this existing - especially with real accounts such as Faheem’s. A highly intelligent bipedal ape is not too genetically dissimilar to what we are ourselves - so the Bondo ape could potentially be the ‘missing link’. Whether existing or not - no one can dispute what Faheem saw in the forest that night. What countless others have described seeing. The bogey men of the jungle. The lion-killers of the rainforest. The Bondo apes of Central Africa.

The Bondo apes (sometimes referred to as Bili apes) originated in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, but have also been sighted in the neighbouring countries, South Sudan being one. The Bondo apes were first reported in 2003 - being claimed to be bipedal apes over 6ft tall. They nest on the ground like gorillas, but have a diet and features characteristic of a chimpanzee. This diet includes mainly fruits, yet fascinatingly, the apes have allegedly been sighted eating small rodents, birds and even small monkeys. The apes have also been sighted hunting in packs, moving on their hind-legs, similar to a human. They have since also been nicknamed ‘lion-killers’ - for allegedly being responsible for the deaths of a number of different lions that invaded their territory.
In 2015, in an interview with a hunter named Faheem, more terrifying details of the mystery Bondo apes would emerge. Ethan Howard, a primatologist and zoologist from Kings College London, would visit Ibba on the border of South Sudan and the DRC. His goal was simple, to either prove or disprove the existence of Bondo apes. He went on a number of expeditions to a nearby rainforest - yet found no physical proof of the apes. However, in Howard’s interviews with locals - he unearthed some strange facts about the Bondo apes.
Howard interviewed Faheem (last name unknown), who was a hunter in the region for many years. He said prior to this incident he had heard rumours of the Bondo apes - but never believed them. The incident occurred with Faheem and his friend, about 10 years prior, when they underwent this horrific ordeal.
The two men were out hunting, with the day not being entirely fruitful so far. This forced them to continue their hunt even into the night, which Faheem notes is something they would only do in times of desperation (due to the dangers that the rainforest possessed). The men were crouched by a bush, hiding in the trees, waiting for the sounds of wildebeest or deer, when the sounds of something else would come from the darkness. What they saw would be far more frightening than anything they could imagine. Allegedly, a group of 12 bipedal figures emerged from the trees. The figures came out of the darkness slowly, one pair at a time, as if they were in a hunting formation. They had huge long arms, that dropped down to their knee caps, and a muscular frame all over. The hunters were shocked to see their faces - expecting them to be men - but being greeted by the unmistakable face of gorillas. The bodies however were far more slim and athletic than that of gorillas. Their looks combined with their bipedal, human-like nature, shocked the hunters into paralysis. The apes appeared to be on a hunt themselves, almost silently traversing through the undergrowth of the forest - scanning around. It was at this moment one of the apes raised his head: and made direct eye contact with Faheem. The pair of men froze in fear, as the ape grunted towards the rest of the pack. They all turned, slowly, in a way almost out of a horror film. Howard writes that upon the retelling of this story, at this point Faheem begins to stutter and struggle to get his words out - as if he’s reliving it. The hunter explains how one of the Bondo apes then lifted its head towards the sky - and began to howl. This howling was accompanied by the rest of them, who all in unison let out their own howls. A screech almost, towards the black night sky.
This was enough to unfreeze the hunters.
They both began to bolt, fleeing in two random directions. Faheem lost his friend in the chaos, only focusing on his own survival. He crashed through the undergrowth of the forest, dodging trees and vines, running as fast as he could to make his escape. He describes the thudding he heard behind him. The thudding of footsteps. When he looked behind him (at this point Howard describes how Faheem even gets choked up retelling the story), when he looked behind him, one of the Bondo apes was running after him. Running after him on two legs. To see a 6ft ape with the face of a gorilla - sprinting on its hind legs - Faheem could only run faster. He kept watching in horror, even whilst running in fear, and witnessed the ape drop down seamlessly to all fours and start leaping towards him in a more ape-like manner - gaining on him quickly.
He describes how as soon as he passed a specific part of the forest however, the ape stopped dead in its tracks. Faheem kept running a few seconds more, before stopping as well to turn around and check on his pursuer. The ape was stood there. As if held back by an invisible wall. It lifted its upper lip, and snarled at him. A couple of seconds later this was followed by howling from a different part of the forest, which was greeted by the ape breaking his stare, and racing off into the darkness after the howls.
Faheem told Mr Howard how he never saw his friend again. He explained how he had been ridiculed by his village for years after, that apes would never attack a human. For years nobody believed his claims, until wider attention was brought to the Bondo apes in 2015 in the Congo. Since then numerous skulls of the apes have been found, and more sightings have occurred. It’s theorised the reason that the ape stopped chasing Faheem so suddenly that night, is due to the Bondo apes territoriality. Faheem potentially ran into an area of forest (unknowingly) that was the domain of another troop of Bondo apes, that his pursuer knew to respect.
Attached is a photo provided by Mr Howard, of one of the terrifying apes the hunter likely saw that night.
Whilst Bondo apes are still not credited scientifically as a species, it is not hard to imagine the likelihood of a species like this existing - especially with real accounts such as Faheem’s. A highly intelligent bipedal ape is not too genetically dissimilar to what we are ourselves - so the Bondo ape could potentially be the ‘missing link’. Whether existing or not - no one can dispute what Faheem saw in the forest that night. What countless others have described seeing. The bogey men of the jungle. The lion-killers of the rainforest. The Bondo apes of Central Africa.

Another Monday... Thankfully, we have a new chapter to make it just a little bit better. At the very least, I hope everyone had a good weekend. Mine was...eventful. Not too bad, but I did have to drive for two hours just to turn around. Other than that, I mainly focused on chilling and writing.
Edit: It appears that reddit has managed to break things once again with its text editor. Hopefully, everything is fine.
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Noria laid the tome down upon the library’s table, stretching her arms in the process. Lorem, who was sitting opposite of her, looked up from a book. The evening was upon them, and soon they all would be meeting back up at the hatchery.
“Are you finished for tonight?” Lorem asked, closing the book and setting it down.
“I think so…” She said, trailing off. In truth she hadn’t made much progress. “I just can’t focus.”
He reached out and put a hand on hers, which was still resting on top of the tome. “Hey, it’s okay. There’s no rush and… You’ve had a lot to deal with. We all have.”
A smile formed as she nodded in agreement. “Do you think Yedril is up by now? I want to go check on him.”
Lorem smiled warmly at her while gently massaging her hand. Hers was so tiny within his grasp…
“Probably. Felix and Eri seemed convinced he would wake this morning.” He let go and stood up. “You want to head down there now?”
She took a brief moment to consider his words, peering down at the tome and her notes. I suppose he’s right… I don’t need to rush and Yedril’s well-being _is more important._
“Sure,” she said and got up. “Let me just store all this and we can head down there…”
The sun was nearly set, casting what was left of its orange and red light over the forest. The moon was already visible, taking its rightful throne for the night. All the while, Noria and Lorem made the trek to the hatchery in almost complete silence.
Well, they were silent. Not so for the kobolds that were running back and forth between the manor and hatchery. Apparently, that was where it had been decided that dinner would be served.
Seeing the light from the building, Noria’s mind wandered… I hope Yedril is alright. I don’t know what I could do to help. She shoved the thought away, she could only put her faith in Felix.
As that thought fell to the wayside, the other one came forward. The egg… I hope it hatches soon.
Noria hated to admit it, but despite everything that happened, she was excited by the prospect. Although this was not how she thought her life would go, she was with Lorem and she had nearly succeeded in taking control of her life.
That is what she had set out to do.
Noria closed her eyes for a single moment, letting her imagination run wild for that brief instant. She pictured herself sitting on the back of a mighty, amber colored dragon, the wind whipping past them as they soared high into the sky.
There was peace.
There was serenity.
Everything felt right with the world. She could imagine Lorem, sitting upon another dragon, and racing them through the skies…
Noria felt a shudder run down her back, the vision felt too real.
I’m committed, just like Yedril, she realized. The thought shouldn’t have surprised her. In hindsight, it made complete sense. She always held a special place in her heart for animals.
But a dragon isn’t an animal, she chastised herself. If Zira, Kyrith, and Ithea were anything to go by, they were people, just like her and–
“Are you okay?” Lorem asked, snapping her back to reality. She hadn’t realized that she came to a complete stop.
Noria gave him a warm smile as she stared up into his eyes. “Feeling better now, actually.”
Before he could respond, she picked up her pace.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Solanna ignored the food laid out in front of her. She wasn’t hungry.
Yedril was stuffing himself, enjoying himself. He was laughing at some joke.
Noria was absently taking bites out of her bread. She wore a warm smile.
Lorem was telling a joke, acting it out for effect. His tray had long since been finished off.
Eri and Felix were sitting together at the head of their ‘table.’ There was no table, they were sitting on the hatchery’s floor. Their hands were intertwined, thinking no one saw.
Then there were Zira and Kyrith. Both dragons sat behind their respective partners. Their pile of food was already devoured.
Solanna balled her fists in frustration. Not at any one of them, but at herself. She was more than relieved that her brother was alive and, seemingly, well. But that was what ate at her.
All her life, since Yedril’s birth, she had been his effective caretaker. She did everything for him, and without complaint. How could she? Because she loved him, she wanted nothing more than to see her brother smile.
And he is.
But he wasn’t smiling at her.
It was selfish, she knew, but Solanna could not help but feel jealous. That is why she was frustrated with herself. That is why she did not eat.
Solanna was watching Yedril grow up. She was watching her needy younger brother no longer need her.
This was always going to happen, she told herself. Truthfully, she knew if Yedril’s condition could be managed, or cured, he would quickly become independent. Now, it looked like that was exactly what was happening.
Her vision began to blur with tears. Quickly wiping them away, she stood up and made for the entrance.
“Solanna?” Felix called out.
Suddenly, all eyes were on her.
Forcing a smile, she faced him. “Just going to get some fresh air.”
He frowned. “Everything– Never mind, take your time. When you come back I will make my announcement.”
“I won’t be long,” she responded before continuing out. No one else dared to question or comment…
The night was warm and dark as she walked further away. The only sources of light were the manor, the hatchery, and the moon. At least, on this side of the clearing. The kobolds were probably in their village, having their own celebrations.
And why not? she scoffed. Four dragon eggs about to hatch. She’d worked alongside them just long enough to know how important dragons were to them. It’s almost like everyone has forgotten what happened. Even Yedril!
Her fists balled up once again. Stop it! You’re just mad at yourself and trying to take it out on others. Get a hold–
“What Bow Master doing out?” a voice called out from one of the corners of the hatchery.
“Tracker, is that you?” Solanna squinted as the green kobold stepped into view. “What are you doing here?”
The kobold shrugged. “Tracker bored… What Bow Master doing?”
Solanna studied Tracker for a moment before answering. The kobold wasn’t being completely honest. “Just getting some fresh air,” she decided to say.
“And cry alone?”
Forgetting who she was dealing with, Solanna was taken aback. “W-what? No… I was just getting some fresh air and cooling my head.”
The green kobold let out an amused hum before crossing the distance between them. “No lie, Tracker have best nose, wind tell all to Tracker.” As if to accentuate the point, a gust of wind rustled the nearby trees.
Regaining her composure, the elf countered, “And you aren’t being truthful either.” Solanna narrowed her eyes. “What are you really doing out here?”
Tracker quickly looked around, as if to make sure no one was close by. “Tracker smell weird magic,” the kobold whispered.
“Weird magic–”
“Shh! Bow Master keep quiet.” Leaning closer, the kobold continued. “Tracker think another Master present.”
Matching Tracker, Solanna lowered herself and whispered back. “Another Master? What exactly do you mean by that?”
“Tracker means Master… Like Scary Master, Master’s Master, or Happy Master…”
Happy Master? Master’s…Master– Okay, I have no idea on those, but Scary Master sounds an awful lot like… “When you say Scary Master, do you mean Ithea?”
Tracker nodded.
Solanna pondered that for a few more moments. Okay Ithea is Scary Master… Happy Master, could that be– Kyrith. Wait… “Are you talking about the dragons?”
“Of course, Tracker say that.” The kobold gave her a questioning look.
Right… Of course, so silly of me. _Her thoughts dripped with sarcasm. _Hang on a second. Master’s Master, could that be Zira?! As she made the realization, Solanna could help but let out a laugh.
“What funny?”
“N-Nothing…” She got her laughter under control. “Anyway, so you were saying that you smelled another dragon, then?”
“Yes…” The kobold’s expression became one of annoyance.
“I take it you were tracking the scent and it led you to here?” Solanna asked.
“Tracker follow scent, but Tracker lose scent here.”
“And why do you think it was another dragon? Could it be something else?”
“No,” the kobold answered curtly.
Well, if anyone knows what a dragon smells like, it’s probably her… “Could it be the eggs hatching that you were tracking?” However, didn’t explain why she lost the scent here…
“Tracker don’t think so…” The kobold straightened up. “Now, Bow Master tell Tracker what wrong. Why Bow Master cry?”
Solanna let out a sigh and averted her eyes. She had hoped that she could distract both the kobold and herself from the topic…
“It’s… I’m just mad at myself,” Solanna admitted after a moment.
“Why?”
She winced. “It’s because of my brother, Yedril–”
“Sick Master?” Tracker asked, interrupting her.
“Yes… Since he was born, I’ve been taking care of him. I love him and would do anything for him.”
Tracker nodded. “Bow Master tired of helping Sick Mast–”
“No! That’s not it!” Solanna took a deep breath. “Look, he’s always been sick and I chose to help him. He needed me and I did whatever I could… But now things have changed.”
She felt her nails digging into her palms as she continued. “He’s found someone who could help him more than I ever could. Yedril has friends now, he has other people he can rely on…” She paused as the words struggled to form.
“My brother… He doesn’t need me anymore.”
Tracker listened patiently as Solanna finished, giving the elf a perplexed look. “Bow Master mad at Bow Master because Sick Master no need Bow Master? Bow Master strange…”
Solanna furrowed her brows. “This is why I didn’t want to say anything! I know it doesn’t make any sense! That’s why I just wanted to clear my head!”
The kobold took a step back from her shouting and waited for her to finish. “Tracker sorry… Tracker no mean upset Bow Master.”
Solanna closed her eyes and let out another sigh. “No, I’m sorry… But this is why I stepped away from the others. I just need to work through my feelings.”
There was a long pause as the kobold went into thought. “Tracker may know what Bow Master do.”
“And what should I do?” she asked exasperated.
“Bow Master no more need take care of Sick Master. Bow Master can do what Bow Master want.”
“What I want? That’s the problem! I don’t know what I want… I’ve always cared for my brother, I’ve always done everything for him.
“My whole life has been about helping him, it gave me strength. I never did anything for myself, only him–” Solanna froze.
“I don’t want to live for myself,” she muttered.
“Then don’t,” Tracker said.
“Then for who?”
The kobold gave her a predatory smile. “You have egg hatching.”
Egg hatching?
“New Master hatch soon, new Master need Bow Master,” the kobold answered, as if knowing what she was thinking.
Solanna’s eyes widened. Throughout this whole ordeal, she had completely forgotten about the egg. Now, however, she was acutely aware of a strange tugging sensation. It was weak, it was frail, but it was there.
It’s calling for me… It wants me– No, it needs me.
A vision flooded her mind.
She was soaring through the sky, flying faster than a shooting star. None could match the brilliant emerald dragon underneath her. They were too fast, too agile.
They nimbly dodged the clutches of another. As the vision faded, she could hear her brother cursing as they streaked away…
The egg, _he needs me…_
And I need him.
—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [Previous] [First] [Next] [RoyalRoad] [Discord]
Ah, it seems we are getting close to the main event. Not much to add, I think the chapter speaks for itself. We still have about 5 chapters to go until we finish up this arc. Starting with the next arc, things will start to pick up speed (well, this is still a slow burn of a story but there will be a lot more happening.)

This Face...
So first off this post will have minor spoilers for of course one thing... Harmony Traileblazer.This post as you can probably see if pretty long but it will be separated in to parts to make it easier to navigate. And lastly this post is meant to both be a sort of guide to help people bc I haven't seen anyone make a post like this yet and to tell the tale of how I spent So long trying to pay this sentient comp-clock.

The Story.

So >be me (Just go along with the 2nd person pov amd you can skip this) you finished the Story got Harmony Trailblazer(Which will be the last time I'll blank that out because by now you probably already know or knew what I'm talking about) and your thinking about getting more than just E1 because of all the 100k damage showcases you've seen in like the first week. You look at his character menu and tap on any of their Eidolons to see where to get them and you see the Clockie statue. You think this will just be like getting max Physical and Fire Tralblazer... then you see that you need level 50 Clockie statue and your heart sinks, but you go along with It anyway cause "how Bad could it Be"

InItal Info

Some things that I should probably say before hand is that I started this whole thing at Statue level 25-30 and the story was finished.
and I was left with 70 bucks by the end of the whole ordeal
which leads into how LONG this took being around I duno... 10-15+ hours over 2 days. ya know a bit of time. Ill get in to how I Feel about this later but just know about this before fully committing
Oh and btw you can't get E6 by the time of me writing this... just E5. can't wait for 2.3 : ' )

Puzzles

https://preview.redd.it/sb4frd01r30d1.jpg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c2efe95e66366f076e76a186a91dc34dc33bd38
So remember those dream tickers and Dream Jigsaws littered through out the maps. well I hope you like them because you have to do All of Them. Ok ok that's a bit of hyperbole you don'y have to do All of the... you can skip a couple but that just means more chests. all the Dream Jigsaws are all pretty easy and marked on the map so this is probably the easist part of the grind outside of the story I can only remember like 2 Dream Tickers that I couldn't solve legitimently. These also probably contribute some of the most to the over all Jade total by the end so that another thing going for them.

Elites

https://preview.redd.it/j2eltzkbr30d1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=244cfe452b7c1f8854b8027c6d8be1f7ff32baa4
So theses Guys are just kinda annoying. like its not hard to just go IPC Concert and go all Geno route on them but again ALL of the must perish (ps if you have Acheron this is the easiest part) I remember one Specific fight with two waves of TV guys which draged on for YEEARRSSS but outside of that just use your strongest team and guide these guys back to the waking world.

Chests

I Love This Women
Ok I know what your thinking. You think im gonna say that you need Every Single Chest in penacony right. Well.... you don't but that's going to make another part harder. the way it worked out for me I got the Achivement for opening 300 Chests if that says something. a couple things to know Dream Jigsaw and Eliets don't count towards the overworld chest count but it does count towards total chest open and I THINK The sub worlds in the Grand Theater don't count either but idk. you get 60/120/180 buckes per chest depending on the rareity and probably gives The most jades out of everything here. So pull Topaz pull Topaz pull Topaz pull Topaz pull Topaz pull Topaz pull Topaz pull Topaz pull Topaz pull Topaz

Quests

https://preview.redd.it/xvd8o3s1160d1.jpg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=35a759668b7575512cf1082210bb667edc3b3f8a
You knew it was coming side quests. Do them their should be a couple in the quest menu that give 360 bucks and then theirs also the all the fate atlus ones which also give the same amount. btw doing all of these takes a couple Hours and that's with mashing sooo yea clear up your Saturday or wait like a week to finish these up. one more thing I didn't pay attention to the stories of all of them but I did for the ends of them so here's what happens in like 4 of them One of the people almost comits ALT f4 in their emo scape :( one of them was a tyrannical ruler in belebog in some form and one of them was a former geinus society member.

Emo-gencies

https://preview.redd.it/juovqonn360d1.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dcba99a4f93cbc83b5bc9501bf1661325da44b5a
Now these are the last two thing really Grind my Gears (like the word play im going for yea I know it sucks) but seriously tho these suck so around the safe sections of the maps theirs these people with wrenches where the clockwork symbole should be and that means their having an Emo-gency. there spred out so its hard enough to find some of these flipper floppers but... you remeber how the emotion gears yea you need the coresponding gear to even start the quest and these are basicaly a mini side quest with normally like one or two things you need to do. these each give 180 bucks which means save these for the end of the marathon, like 10 or less statue levels remaning.

B.I.R.D.S

https://preview.redd.it/r0alreko560d1.jpg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3fc493ee9014acb02bd8af085ca84ce0509d7fad
Now... I HATE THESE FUCKERS now I know thats harsh their cute and sometimes gives a funny little quip of dialog that may make you exhale out of your nose a bit. But After 90 OF THEM you start to go a little mad silly even. I hope you were looking for these pidgons during the story like I didn't because you need to colect ten in each of the 9 maps in the Dream Scape for a Grand Total OF 1,620 bucks... which if you didn't notice is NOT EVEN THREE LEVELS and the worst part is if you skip one of these you have to subsitute the 180 your missing out on with an Emo-gency or like 3 more chesets on top of the 300 you alredy got...
some tips the gambaling tokens you can buy (the ones firefly gave you) can be given to the biggest birds to drop a pin on a birds location and turn your sound affect volume and music down because the small birds make a little chirping sound. look up alot because these savages like hiding in high places. and if you have Acheron, Sparkle, Fu xuan, Seele, the Watch Maker, Huo Huo, Dr. Ratio, and Robin in that order of priority USE THEM because your going to wish enemies didn't exsits while surching for these """Birds""" oh and one last thing one of these on Dew Light Pavilion is locked behind a quest : )

The Results

https://preview.redd.it/o909syoxa60d1.jpg?width=225&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eb0be80937bfbfe02da2d651b10de46cb9a9bd72
So (again 2nd person) You spent Hours scrougung up all the money in the world to fully level Clockie Statue...what do you get well first off you get the thing you started this all for E.. 5 you also get a [SHOT] ton of Relic lightcone and character levelup matz and.. MOST importantly around 20-40 pulls depending on how much of this was alredy done before hand. ANNNNNNNDD THATS IT

MY OPINON!!!!!!

I see the vision but this SUCKS bro like I get it in the last two reagions it was pretty easy to get like E3 or 4 by the end of the Story if you didn't spend it on fucking credits or something like that and they want you to interact with the World of Penecony and the world is nice... BUT 10 HOURS WORTH OF INTERACTING IS NOT OK and its not like you get exclusively E5 see the section above but you get those by PROXY of doing every thing and remeber 10 HOURS FOR E5 and im not saying I HAATTEED my time but it just dragged on for HOURS AND HOURS that after it was done I wanted to just go for a walk... But becaues it was like 9:00 I started writing this up insted.
So I Hope this helped and may your Giathra Triclops Close her Eyes Thrice.

First Attempts at Successor Chapters
Just a preface before the stories. This contains the outlines for my homebrew space marine chapters called the Galvin Knights and the Luciferians. These are 2/3 chapters within a short story I'm writing about an invasion of the Tyranids. Any and all feedback is welcome.
Galvin Knights
In the furthest reaches of the Segmentum Tempestus lies the death world of Galvios, a harsh and unforgiving planet battered by relentless electrical storms and marred by massive destroyed Hive cities. Here, amidst its hard landscape, stands fortress-monastery “Rhebar” of the Galvin Knights, an Iron Hands successor chapter known for its meticulous attention to detail and ruthless machine-like efficiency.
Galvios is not alone in the system, for orbiting it is the Mechanicum Forge-Moon of Castellum Ryzarian, a bastion of knowledge and innovation where the Galvin Knights have forged a close alliance with the adepts of Mars. It is within this union of man and machine that the chapter's most closely guarded secret resides.
When a battle brother of the Galvin Knights falls in the line of duty, their souls are not consigned to the warp. Instead, they are interred within the sacred halls of the Autorus Intelligius, where the ancient rites of the Mechanicum are performed. Through the melding of mind and steel, the fallen warrior's consciousness is transferred into a cybernetic host, a warrior reborn as a Galvin Sentry, stripping them of all humanity but imbuing them with abominable will and unwavering loyalty to the God Emperor.
Since their inception, the Knights have begun to become less codex complaint, welding numbers well over the chapter limit.
the Galvin Knights' secrets do not end there. Led by their formidable First Captain, Varaan Maneur (Manor) , a towering figure clad in Indomitus terminator armor, the chapter boasts a unique retinue known as the Watchful Eye. Composed of the four strongest and most technologically adept Astartes of the chapter, the Watchful Eye are masters of Surveillance and Raids when operating in smaller numbers but excel at Siege and Counter Siege at large. First Captain Maneur and fellow Members of the Eye can communicate with a version of Lingua-technis in a form of a relay system, allowing for them to command with those of the Galvin Sentry.
Tasked with the defense of Segmentum Tempestus against the relentless advance of the Tyranid Hive Fleets, the Galvin Knights metallic armor shines the brightest. When planets are besieged by the Tyranids, the Galvin Knights rush from their bastions and bunkers with uncaring determination. Meeting the fleet head on the Knights stem the lines of the xeno menace head-on and engage them with hordes of their own.
In the face of the Tyranid menace, the Galvin Knights stand as a symbol of strength and guardians of humanity, their seemingly iron souls forged in the crucible of war and bound by the ancient pact between man and machine. And as long as there are enemies of the Imperium to face, they will continue to fight, their resolve unbreakable and their loyalty unwavering.
Luciferians
The Luciferians, a successor chapter of the Blood Angels, are a formidable force within the Imperium, led by their enigmatic and feared Chapter Master, known by several titles - "The Fallen," "The Visage of Blood," and "The Blood Angel of Death" - The Archbishop Lucifer MorningStar. Lucifer MorningStar is a smaller Astarte known for his exceptional speed, infiltration skills, mastery of melee combat, and terror tactics that strike fear into the hearts of his enemies.
Clad in modified Mark X Phobos armor, Lucifer MorningStar stands out with mechanical tubes weaving throughout his armor, pumping blood through his body, symbolizing the intense connection the Luciferians have to life-giving essence. His armor is predominantly red with silver plating, and he often forgoes wearing a helmet, allowing his flowing brown hair to cascade in the wind. With his piercing brown eyes and fair skin, Lucifer MorningStar possesses a captivating and handsome appearance.
Unlike their Blood Angels progenitors, the Luciferians do not suffer from the Black Rage. However, they possess an intense need for blood and are susceptible to the Red Thirst, which drives them to seek out the life essence of their enemies with unwavering ferocity. This unquenchable thirst for blood teeters on the edge of losing control to their primal instincts, making them a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield.
The chapter is currently in the process of rebuilding and recovering from a devastating loss suffered during the Tebir Campaign, a fierce conflict against the savage Orks. The loss was primarily due to Lucifer MorningStar and the 1st, 3rd, and 6th Companies falling victim to an unknown force while trapped within a fortress named the Bastion of Wrath. In their thirst for vengeance and blood, they abandoned tactics and discipline, leading to their downfall. The only survivor was Lucifer himself, who, in the aftermath of the battle, shed his blood-stained armor and laid upon the peak of the fortress. For 40 days and 40 nights, he wept and cried out, facing an internal struggle against the temptations of Khorne, the Chaos God of Blood and War. It was during this period that he reaffirmed his loyalty to the Imperium and resisted the lure of chaos, emerging from the ordeal with an unbreakable resolve to rebuild his chapter and lead his brethren with renewed discipline and control.
The Luciferians were created during the 23rd Founding, a response to the increasing threats posed by xenos in the Segmentum Obscurus. Tasked with defending humanity against these alien adversaries, the Luciferians carry on the noble traditions and genetic heritage of their Blood Angels forebears.
The Luciferians don blood-red armor, adorned with silver and bronze trim, symbolizing their connection to their Blood Angels lineage. Each Astartes bears a black right knee pad, displaying a unique number denoting their respective company within the chapter. Astartes initiates are called the Elohim and are organized into groups of five or ten, led by a veteran called a Seraphim, forming the 10th Company. The Seraphim are distinguished by their silver helmets, symbolizing their leadership role within the company.
In addition to the Seraphim, the Luciferians employ a specialized group known as the Ophanium. These skilled warriors lead the Seraphim within other companies, specializing in different forms of combat, ensuring the chapter's diverse capabilities are utilized to their fullest potential. The chapter also boasts a significant number of chaplains who have dedicated themselves to studying and understanding the Red Thirst, as well as a strong contingent of apothecaries who are responsible for delivering blood across the company.
Rumors circulate that the Chapter Master, Lucifer MorningStar, engages in a ritualistic practice of draining the blood of serfs in a massive bathhouse-style pool, where he and his Honor Guard bathe in it. This macabre ceremony is believed to serve as a method to slow the Red Thirst.
The Luciferians have forged alliances with various factions within the Imperium, particularly the Inquisition and the Galvin Knights and Emerald Stars chapters. Lucifer MorningStar's path crossed with Galatyn Barden during their service to the Deathwatch, where they utilized their skills to root out Xenos Cults and dismantle Xenos invasions. However, at the start of the Tebir Campaign, Lucifer was summoned back to his chapter, where he discovered that most of the leadership had secretly succumbed to the Black Rage and were put down. This tragic event took many lives and almost led the chapter to extinction on Tebir Tertius. Hidden records indicate that Lucifer believes an Inquisitor directed more Orks to the system as a test by the Emperor himself to determine the chapter's worthiness to shape the future.

First Issue!

• Author's Note: Hello! Yes I am not dead, yet! And so we march on with the series! I still have more college work to do until I'm done, but we're getting near that. Also I'd like to officially say that Issue #61 can be considered as an official end OF a BOOK 1 for Beast World. PLEASE READ CAREFULLY!!! I SAID end of book 1 NOT the series! We shall continue on, soon enough. So, relax, enjoy the read and if you like what you see, you can support me on my ko-fi page! This is also where I post art drawn by me of various characters from Beast World or other series or one shots I write!

The night before Michael's departure was one of various mixed emotions, that melded into a concoction of both cheer and anxiousness. The human and his tribe of tuskir would share food as they aided their newest member in his preparations.
Woh and Oinna worked carefully together to prepare several vials of poison, diluted with water, as well as a few herbal medicines.
Zurra and Azhul would work the forge, daughter and mother stoking the fires of their smithy's hearth to finish up a steel knuckle duster that the older woman had been preparing to forge from before. After replacing the metal rods on his leather bracers with steel and studding the leather for extra reinforcement, the two put forward their creations for Michael to dawn, to which he was greatful.
Urla and Runhar would share more of what they know about the Rock Backs or what to expect of their leader, but the discussions from before already covered most of that information.
After all that could be done had been finished, a fresh leather backpack of supplies was provided to the human with a few extra tools, besides his own belongings, and then all that remained to do was for them to steel themselves.
Maybe not everyone realized the implications of this separating venture, but one knot that could build in their throats would be at the realization that their newest tribe member was about to leave and depending on how things would fare... he might come back unharmed and with stories plentiful in detail of what happened, he might not return to them at all or, at worst... he'd be befallen by a fate they'd not know of.
A final meal together was being held, most of the people of the tribe awake, decided to remain as such and hold out this white night with Michael, waiting with a discomfort that was palpable in the air. As the time of reckoning was slowly coming upon them, the relaxed attitudes of all involved began to stifle and die down.
Vodra and Nushii were situated closest by him, the latter curled up in a half asleep ball next to Michael, rather than sitting. Runhar, Ghura and Azhul, sat further to his sides, their sitting positions, curving around the fire they all encircled, with Oinna, Zurra and Urla being on the other side of the slowly dying flame. And of course, Woh, unlikely to leave herself out from this gathered vigil, was sat atop Michael's hair, camouflaged partially by his thickened curly locks. Nobody knew what to say, there was nothing easy to bring up, but doubt and uneasiness in one's heart might lead them to speak their mind, out of a compassionate worry.
Zurra was the one bearing a heavy seed of doubt and fear in her breast. As she held tightly onto a metal mug full of steaming broth, she took a brief sip of it as her gaze lifted to look at the grouping around the fire. "We certain this be the correct choice? We coulda 'bandon de Hay-yen group, the whol' allyin' with 'em plan... it is too risky to... well, to do this!" The elderly sow spoke, her voice not showing her usual furious anger derived from passion, but instead upset, born of frustration, fear and uncertainty.
"It might be, but I want to do it. I've been thinking why am I doing this to basically save a group of people with whom we were basically at war a month ago. Their upbringing by their leading shaman and elders is not an excuse for their actions, but wouldn't it be nice to get them a chance? A chance that they are also willing to take, even if they feel skeptical about our intentions and us about their?" Michael looked at Nushii who slept and then exchanged a glance with Vodra who gave a slow nod and blink back.
"Bah! These two's exceptions an' ya kno' that." Zurra said as she then sat her mug down on a crate forcefully, spilling a bit of the contents.
"There ain' no point in arguin'. The deal was struck an' backin' out now will jus' give us headaches with the Rock Backs." Gharna said with a snort which vocalized better than any words that she wasn't thrilled either about this.
"Aye, ma'. Ya kno' already when he makes up 'is mind ta do somethin' he sticks to it worse than blood stains on cloth. Heh... same type-a stubborness that got 'im stuck fer hours keepin' yer forge stoked." Azhul added with a chuckle as she looked at her mother than at Michael, who smiled and laughed with a tired tone.
"Even if we don' like it, we have already all agreed to help make this happen. Otherwise I don' think we'd have put the efforts we did towards preparin' Michael fer da trip." Runhar interjected as well as he sipped his own broth from a bowl.
As the consensus from before had been reaffirmed verbally, the group had fallen quiet once more, in a silence that showed the stewing emotions that bubbled below it. Michael felt it too, he knew what these situations were like from having to deal with them with his own family.
"Well, while I'm gone, hopefully not long, I thought it would be good to get some things done, even if not everything gets finished, I'm thinking that we should keep to a... hm... how to word this? A time line?" The human said uncertain on how to properly put his thoughts in words. Certainly would seem unlike him to struggle with this, but only when his guard was down. In this moment there was no immediate threat, so he was as true to the real him as he could be.
"Oh? Afraid things will stagnate while you are gone due to some of us being uncertain of the situation? Although I certainly appreciate yer concern, none shall remain still while I am here. What have you been thinking of?" Urla asked from her seated position, her inquisitive questioning being as cold as her usual tone.
"Well. I believe there's two things that are need to get done. Integrating the remaining Hay-yen and starting up with trading goods. We still have hos-... injured refugees that are being treated, due to their... shakey condition, right? We need to see that they can adapt to their situation like Nushii and Vodra did. Maintain aid and contact with the Hay-yen settlement, I think this would be best done by working together on things you and they need, maybe repairs and expanding a bit." Michael would say certain of his thoughts on the matter.
"I wasn't going to wait for you to ask, but we'll try to help with that as well. I believe it will be... emboldening to see us work along Tuskir for the others." Vodra said while looking at Nushii. Soon after she'd meet Michael's gaze, with a glint of important purpose in them. "And hence we know not what happened with the old shaman, we could also focus on geting a better grasp on that, as well, since we've been discussing about it."
Michael nodded in agreement, his expression showing that he was pleased with Vodra's additions to his points.
Urla would nod as she listened before clearing her throat. "I see the point. We'll be doing our best here, so make sure you return to us in one piece. That is an order from me to you, as your den mother, Michael." The old sow spoke with utmost seriousness in her tone.
"Understood, Elder Urla." He replied with a cheeky tone, a faint smirk creeping up on his lips.
Soon after the human's reply, the slow steps of Yenna approaching could be herd in the crisp silence of the night. The young Tuskir moved with stuttered and tired steps as he came about closer, holding Michael's phone in one hand and a carving of wood in the other.
"Got your fill of references?" Michael asked with a soft smile as Yenna handed him his phone, tucking it into his leather backpack.
"Aye, but tis ain't based on 'em... keepin' those in me workshop. Drew a few sketches in coal based on 'em, too." The young tuskir said with a tired huff. He then held up the tiny wooden statue that depicted an elderly scars covered tuskir, with a billowing cloak and two handaxes.
Michael looked at it as his heart knotted with a renewed sorrowful melancholy. He held up his hand as his expression asked wordlessly if he could hold it to which Yenna handed it. The human looked at it closely. The carved tuskir struck a pose of on guard and ready to attack, the expression although hard to read for Michael, the eyes were shown with a guardian's battle focus carved into them.
"It looks just like the old man... you have an amazing hand Yenna." Michael said while looking the statue of Spek from all angles possible. Unknown if by accident or if by unconcious choice, Michael ran his digits under the statue's base, feeling it to have been carved up.
Turning it upside down he glanced at carved letters in the Tuskir's written tongue, which to him looked akin to unreadable scratches. Before he could even ask about their meaning Yenna spoke, almost solemnly.
"Tough Hide Spek, The Forever Guardian." The young tuskir said as he sniffled while seating himself near Michael.
"Looks like a good piece, brother." Gharna said from the side with a soft proudness to her voice.
"Indeed. Where are you thinking of putting it?" Michael confirmed his own feelings of admiration towards the small sculpture.
"Thought ya could hold onto it, a reminder o' us fer while yer gone. I was useless in that fight, hidin' with the younger piglets an' guardin' 'em... actin' as if it got to it I could protect them... while you all were layin' yer lives down, fightin'. This is the only thing I'm good at... you were close to 'im so I thought it would be only natural that he look over ya for us." Yenna said with a pain of his own in his words as he verbally flagellated himself over his helplessness.
"Yenna. Don't be harsh on yourself, everyone's got their talents. Yours will be most important." Michael then stood up in a very official manner and he put a hand on the young tuskir's shoulder. "You'll actually make yourself invaluable. You'll be pretty much carving all the handles for the steel peelers we will be selling. And to make the sales go better I recommend making them with engraved designs in the wood or even carving random names into them, since some people love buying stuff like that."
At that point Yenna looked back at Michael, the previous glint of emotionally charged energy dissapearing from his gaze while the unhearable echo of a mute glass crack seemed to make the young tuskir wince. "I'll be what?!"
"Yes." Michael said with a small proud smile as he nodded and patted Yenna on the back.
Gharna couldn't help herself, so she let out snorts, chuckles and short squeals as she giggled. "W-well hah! Ahem... pft... blood brother, you always did say you liked to carve things daintier than plain handaxes..." she added in a teasing tone.
"By the Hunt Father, that sucks for ya Yen-yen." Azhul said trying and succeeding a bit better at masking her chuckles. Still, the large tuskir woman's giggles would be interrupted by a slap on her furred nape from her own mother who seemed to hear her. "AGH! What was that fer?!"
"Who do ya fink is gon' be makin' the blades?" The older buff sow asked while looking at her daughter with mild dissapointment.
Azhul took half a minute longer than she should have to spit out an answer. "Us?" She said while Zurra stared at her with mild dissapointment, giving a single solemn confirming nod. "Oh-... ohhh.... Uughhhhhh... us..." she said with a premptively exhausted tone, as she came to this realization, with a deflating snort and groan while facepalming.
Azhul's reaction managed to rip chuckles and hearty laughs from most of those around, Michael laughing hard enough to nearly keel over from it. As the human took a moment to calm down, the corner of his eye would be greeted by the first wisps of light presenting themselves on the horizon. The moment he saw them, his jovial laugh seemed to drop, his eyes looking at the slowly crawling rays of light as if they were telling him something.
"Well... it seems like my time has expired. I'll... uhm... check my shack once over and make sure I didn't forget anything." The human said as he took a glance into his leathet backpack and then slung it over his shoulders.
"Ah-... alright. We'll start cleaning up here and when we're all done, we'll see you at the gate." Runhar said as he finished his broth, his tone betraying his own insecurities despite supporting this final plan.
Michael nodded back to the captain before taking a few moments to grasp a half asleep Woh and untangle her from the curls at the top of his head. Although he tried not to wake her, the amphoran woke up blinking lazily one eye at a time before her gaze focused on Michael's face.
"Aaagh~... is the borin' talking done, yet?" She asked while stretching relaxed inbetween Michael's digits, then groaning and going limp much like a sibling would when carried by the older one.
"Yeah. And I'm also preparing to leave. Sun's about to come up so I need to get to the Rock Backs." The human replied with a chuckle at the display before leaning down to set Woh on the seat he previously occupied.
The little amphibian humanoid held onto his digits as if to protest the release. "You promise yer comin' back, ye? I've got years o' hugs and cuddle naps I gotta make up for and I'm needin' ya for that." She said while slowly letting go and curling up on the seat, her gullet inflating as she croaked with exhaustion.
"Mhm. Don't worry. I'll come back and that's a promise I intend to keep." Michael said giving Woh a few scritches onto her back, at which the amphoran let a few low and quick croaks akin to a cat's pur.
"Good... an-... don't take too long... otherwise I'm latchin' myself to your face and never letting go, kero..." Woh said while struggling to stay awake, her conciousness fading as she'd doze off.
Michael smile as he laughed silently responding with a nod before making his way to the shack he called a home for the past while. Inside the ex-storage hut, he'd give the place one final cursory glance, making sure to pack a few clothes he nearly forgot thrown about. Once that was done with, as he was about to turn and exit, the door would creak behind him.
Vodra, together with a half awake Nushii, waltzed in slowly. Michael, unsurprised, would turn and smile as he rubbed one of his eyes. "Eh? Going to sleep already? And here I thought you'd see me off at the gate."
"Nushii's about to keel over asleep again, so I thought it'd be good if she was at least in our beds. I for one am not a fan of things such as seeing someone off in a group." Vodra said while leaning against a creaky wooden wall.
Nushii would stumble a bit before flopping herself onto Michael, who, despite being startled, manages to hold himself and the half asleep Hay-yen up. "Why ya need to go? Who are we going to listen to music with as we sleep, eh? Screw the others... my cousin is a doo doo head anyways..." she mumbled and groaned while nuzzling her head into Michael's hair while closing her half open tired eyes.
"Ay... don't say that. Sigh... I know what it is like to have toxic family members... there's no excuse for the things they did, but that doesn't mean some of them can change, ya know? She was really fired up back at camp. She at least seems to want to have you around. Give it a go and see how you feel about it, then decide if YOU want her in your life, ok?" Michael would say while scratching one of Nushii's ears with a hand and petting her shoulder with the other. "Also... please get off... I feel like my bacl or my knees will give out... p-please." He groaned.
Nushii would let out an affirmative yawned yap like noise, although hard to tell what exactly she was agreeing to. She'd push herself off of Michael and then flop onto one of the beds, sniffing about and crawling her way into a curled up position, smack in the middle of Michael's bed.
The human giggled at the sight as he began making his way to the door, where Vodra stood leaned against the wall. "I uhm... wanted to thank you... for everything." He'd say looking at Vodra as he whispered his words.
"Thank me? I should be the one doing that." Vodra replied in the same low tone.
"Well... I wanted to thank you for all the help you've given around, for trusting me, for co-operating in the beginning... for not slitting my throat in my sleep once you two were out of holding, heh." Michael said with a clearly jesting tone towards the end.
Vodra listened silently as her ears would lower, her head turning to look at him. "I see. I feel like I am the one that owes you... thinking about it... it sounds foolish, but getting taken hostage was the best thing that happened to me. Before that I found myself not really caring about much... I just wanted to do what I had to do and sleep... because at least when I was asleep I didn't feel miserable. Now... I'm actually relatively eager to see what I'm doing when I'm awake."
The Hay-yen woman took a moment to glance at Nushii, who had settled in and appeared to be asleep, as she then gazed back at the human and with a rather stiff and awkward motion she's lean forward her massive and hunched frame, pressing her forehead against the side of his face and her snout into his neck. "When we talked about The Devourer... before that... I never even considered if it was not true or fake or at least... not my truth... not what I wanted to believe in. I just accepted it and resigned myself to the fate I was preached to end up with... if not for you... I'd still see each day as a bleak and empty moment of a pointless existence." Vodra said as small whines escaped at times between her words, a wetness taking to her eyes, that Michael felt against the side of his face.
The human would acknowledge Vodra's subtle burst of emotions by wrapping an around her neck, rubbing the top of her head between the ears. "I struggled with something like that to... the feeling of living for no reason only to know you'll die and that the end might be horrible. The faith of my specific tribe of people back home preached of their beliefs in a bleak and depressing manner, too. I hated it and 'cause of it... I still fear death now, but I've been getting better, you will too. No true Gods would want their mortal children to be miserable, instead they'd want them to learn to live satisfied and enlightened lives and... if there's no Gods that await us when it is all done... at least we know we lived in a good honest way, that we deemed fit and that made us happy."
Vodra didn't reply as she shook lightly against Michael, instead listening content. She'd pull her head back to look at the human, half his face covered in a mix of stray fur hairs mixed with a wetness produced by her tears. As if by instinct she'd give his mug a few licks to clean up the mess before pulling back. "Well... y-yeah. That's what I'm thankful for." She'd say as her usual collected self would start showing again. "Now, get going. Don't want those Rock Backs to go back on their deal 'cause you're arriving late. I need to catch a bit of rest anyways..." The Hay-yen would say as she went past Michael and then curled up on her own bed.
"Sleep well." The human replied as one last faint smile rested upon his lips as he exited the hut, the door creaking as he left.
His lonesome steps made the mix of grass and dirt bemeath his boots to crackle and slosh as he walked. Still, Michael didn't hear them as his mind thought of the situation that was awaiting him. Nobody he could trust would be by his side, he'd have to fake his true self for the purpose of apperances and maintaing their ruse.
'Heh... and here I thought I'd never be the type of person to pretend to be someone he isn't, for the sake of gaining something. Sigh... there's a first for everything, I guess. I said the same thing when I was younger about smoking, yet I fell into that myself. Eeeeh... I could go for a smoke... if I had any left.' Michael thought as he then bumped into something akin to a soft pillar.
Taking half a second to recover from his broken focus, Michael looked at the obstacle he bumped, quickly realizing it was actually Azhul. Confused, his mind quickly came to a possible conclusion to her sudden appearance near his old hut. "Oh- Sorry for taking a moment longer to linger! Was saying goodnight to Vodra and Nushii. Took a second longer than I thought."
"Heh. Aye, yer spot on an' no worries. I just wondered if yer reconsidering this whol' thing. Wouldn't blame ya if you just wanted us to fight it out wif the Rock Backs. It'd make things easier honestly." The large young sow said with a clearly jovial tone, albeit with a tinge of exhaustion to it.
"Heh. I couldn't ask that of you all. We barely made it through that ordeal and not without paying hefty prices... all of us." Michael said in a easy tone that tried and failed to hide a bitterness he still held in himself.
"... Michael. Spek wouldn't blame ya fer his death, truly... Ya kno' that, right?" Azhul said in a softened tone as her ears flopped slightly, a small huff leaving her flat snout.
"I know. I discussed this before. I just... it's not wether he blames me or not... it is wether I can stop blaming myself for it." Michael said with a strained face, his expression seeming to tense, his nostrils flared as he pressed his lips together tight, his eyes shining from the moon light with the glaze of tears that coated them, still and unshed. "So, I'll do my best to care for you all... like Spek would have."
Azhul looked Michael in the eye and after he took a moment to release the tension in his body, the large Tuskir woman, went on to wrap her arms around him and embrace him. He'd pull the human's head into her chest as a three fingered hand grasped his back, the other resting onto the crest of his head.
"Eh?! Azhul?! Didn't you say this is somethi-" Michael yelped muffled from the embrance, his previous sombre mood entirely changing, simply from how sudden the hug yhay enveloped him was.
"Aye. Somethin' ya don' just do with anyone, for tuskir that is. Ya hoomans do it for multiple reasons, ain't that about right? Consoling someone, sounds about right as one o' 'em." The built sow said while slightly tensing her arms around him, as if afraid he'll slip from her grasp. She rested her head on top of his, taking a second to sniff his hair lightly.
"Ah-... yeah... that'd be a reason. Heh... thank you... this... does help." Michael said as he wrapped his own arms around the tuskir woman, although unable to fully wrap them around her.
Azhul huffed repeatedly quick and short as her flat nose nuzzled into Michael's curls, before she looked up, staring at the starry sky while still holding him. "Oi. Ya make sure you come back in one piece, ya hear? And don' go dying, getting nabbed, fallin' fer some ditzy nobody's schemes or anythin' that'll keep ya from coming back to... to... to us, ye?"
"Heh. Don't worry. I'll make sure as soon as I'm done there, I'm coming back ASAP... ah... you'd not know what 'ASAP' means..." Michael said from the hug with an awkward laugh.
"Eh. Presume it's some word that's supposed to mean that you'll come quick or as soon as possible. So don' worry. I getcha." Azhul said as she seemed to take a few moments longer before letting go of Michael, the hand that wrapped to the human's back, now lagged behind a moment longer before letting go with a twitch in the tuskir woman's digits.
Michael realizing it wasn't the time to explain acronyms, nodded as she smiled with a relaxed exhale. "Yeah. Just about that. Well. Let's go then. Don' wanna make the others have second thoughts as well." He'd say while starting to walk in the direction of the gate. Still, Michael stopped immediately as he noticed Azhul was still turned back and unmoving. "Ah... you're not coming?"
The large sow seemed frozen for a few moments, her previous hand still semi outstretched forward, as if reaching for something in the air. After her digits twitched once more and a louder sligtly snotty sounding huff escaped her flat nose, Azhul stretched and let out a yawn. "Ah-... w-well... huff ...I already said my piece. Gonna go ahead an' get some sleep." She replied as she then began heading in the opposing direction at a slow pace.
"Oh, right. Rest well and take care! I'll miss ya and your mother! Hope we can forge more stuff together when I'm back!" Michael replied with his spirits properly uplifted.
Azhul staggered her steps at his words, as if from exhaustion. "... C-Can't wait. Come back already." She said as she waved with the back of her hand, still going her way to rest.
Michael nodded despite knowing she couldn't see him as he then headed to the gate. There more words, encouragements and goodbyes were exchanged by all members of the tribe to their departing pink member. After a last awkward moment of half muttered sentences, Runhar had the gates opened, Michael stepping out towards the darkened forest.
Before he got too far and the rest of his tribe closed up their little safe haven, the human turned to them and in the dim light of the few torches around, he said: "I'll miss you all! See you soon!"
From there his departure felt as quick as the wind, as his form faded into the black nothingness of the forest at night. All of a sudden, the time this stranger turned friend spent in this little settlement, in the middle of nowhere, felt a little shorter than before, but not any less important to all involved.

Not sure what to put as a tag. Putting this story here because of The Click! He makes my days better.
I went to a highschool with a strict uniform policy, no hoodies, no skinny pants, no jeans, only navy blue pants, wear a belt, shirt tucked in, and more. I was in my junior (3/4) year at this point, so I obviously knew the dresscode. At the time I was curvy but active, I wasnt fat if you paid attention, but I had big hips and thighs. Now, time for the story.
There was a very nice teacher, lets call her Mrs. Brown. She was lovely and favored by many. She was funny, kind, and just amazing. Then there was a different teacher, we'll call her Mrs. Smith. She was cold, dry, boring, and was very quick to call kids out on uniform violations, any time of the day, and send them to the principal's office. Before school? You dont have your shirt tucked in! After school? No hoodies allowed! Etc. Most of her "violations" were told tuck your shirt in/take off your hoodie and go back to class.
I was walking to my homeroom in the morning and at this point it was about 20 minutes before school starts so the hallways are busy, kids and teachers everywhere, etc. I had encountered Mrs. Smith once before when she tried to tell me my sweater had a hood, but it didnt, and I showed her, and she went back to her monitoring. This time, I was walking past her room and I hear "Young lady those pants are skinny jeans! Those are not allowed". For the record, they weren't, they were straight legged. Before I turned around I just decided to mess with her. For the 3 years of middle school i was in drama and theater club, so i knew how to play the part. I turned around and gave her a look like a deer in headlights. She repeated herself. I was silent, and then I started crying. I said I know they look like it but they arent, I'm just fat so they look tight but my mom says they are straight legged so I dont need to buy new pants, she can look at the tag, I'm so sorry, etc. She was unsure what to do. I had claimed they werent, and I was just fat. What was she supposed to do? Sudents and teachers were looking at us. Mrs. Brown (my homeroom teacher) comes walking over because we were maybe 10 feet down the hall and she knew me. I'm still crying. She goes to me and tries to comfort me, I am told by a different student I knew later that Mrs. Brown (who is usually very sweet and cheery) gave Mrs. Smith a very dirty look and Mrs. Smith scurried back into her classroom and shut her door. Mrs. Brown walks me into her room, shuts the door, and hands me a tissue. I just stop crying and she is looking at me like "that was fast" and I start to smile and she just goes "BRITTANY! Do not tell me you just faked that whole ordeal" with a smirk on her face and I say "ok I wont tell you" and smile at her. She starts chuckling, the whole class kind of realizes what happened and some kids ask me questions, everyone finds it very amusing.
Mrs. Brown told me later that a teacher who saw the encounter actually told the principal what had happened and Mrs. Smith was told it was not her job to call students out for their clothes, she was supposed to report it to the principal or vice principal, which is what EVERY other teacher does. For the rest of my time there she never called another student out. I just did it to screw with her, but I'm glad it led to her actions being addressed, so the future students didnt have to deal with that.
Edit: I went to a public school in Kendall, Florida that really tried to appear as a private school. Hence the specific uniform, magnet programs, etc. Besides the bad teachers the school was amazing and i had a great time there. The kind of school where the popular kids were talking with the math club kids about anime. A great place.

To get the full story we'll have to go back about 6 years. A large group of us were going to be heading out of town for an event. Due to certain circumstances I was going to be traveling alone to the event. One day my sister approached me and asked the details of my flight. I told her and she said her friend, who was also going was on my same flight and would I mind picking her up and bringing her home when we returned. I'm generally a more quiet and reserved guy but my sister asked me for a favor so I agreed and my sister put us in contact to make the arrangements.
Her friend wasn't someone who I reguarly engaged with but I did know who she was. I had always thought she was attractive but didn't ever bother to move on it because at the time she was in a relationship and well, she was my sister's friend.
So it's travel time. I pick her up, we get to our destination where everyone is including my sister. We kind of go our seperate ways but meet back up in group settings. We travel back home together and got her home safely. During the whole ordeal we struck up casual conversation and everything worked out great.
Back home, as time went on we talked a little more fequently when we saw each other but still just casual conversation. At some point her relationship went south and she was now single. Then covid hit.
During covid my sister had left to stay with my other sister out of state. As restrictions eased a little I decided that I was going to drive up and visit. My sister's friend had asked if she could join because she missed my sister and wanted to see her. I agreed again and the trip went off without a problem. It was during this trip and afterwards that we began communicating more and more. Frequent texts, longer conversations when we saw each other.
For both of these trips there was always a destination with people we both knew. In this case, my sister. As more time went on we even occasionally went and did things together. Still never thinking more of it.
About 7 months ago she was heading out of town for a work trip and had asked me if I wanted to go. I didn't immediately commit and she continued to ask and encourage me to go. I finally agreed and she was exceptionally happy when I did. This was the first time we would be traveling without anyone at the destination, just the two of us.
The first night after getting to the destintion we're in the room. I was already in my bed and she was getting ready for bed in the bathroom. When she came out she made it a point to stand in front of me to show me the t-shirt she was going to sleep in and said how soft and comfortable it was. That's when she reminded me that it was my shirt. A shirt i had lent to her about a year ago and just told her she could keep it. She went to her bed and that was it. Never thought much about it. The trip was great, we had a blast. I left to return home a day before her as she was going to extend her trip to another destination to visit family. That's when it all really changed.
I was home and she was at her other destination. Suddenly she was texting everyday, multiple times a day. I enjoyed it so I reciprocated. This continued even when she returned home. Almost in constant contact. Even the dynamic when we would see each other in person changed. She would stand closer, sometime leaning on me. More physical contact like light touching during conversations. The conversations were even longer and more meaningful. Keep in mind this was mostly initiated by her.
Around the holidays this past year we made plans to go to an event that was happening for the holidays. We went and had a great time. Afterwards we went and met up with some friends for drinks. A couple of days later is when it all seemed to go to hell. Suddenly out of nowhere the conversations fizzled, she canceled on plans for another event we had planned. Something she's never done before. Conversations in person are friendly but short, texts go unanswered for long periods of time to the point that these conversations went from daily to maybe a couple times a week. It's as if it all went back to the beginning when we first met with no clear reason why. We're still friendly and do have contact just not the way it was a few months ago.
That's the story. Now, I've always found her attractive and as I got to know her those feelings intesified. They would come and go. Likely from me ignoring them to try and protect what I already had and make sure I didn't cause an issue between her and my sister. Had I gotten so good at ignoring my own feelings that I completely missed what was right in front of me? I've never really feared her rejecting me so it wasn't that. I feared what the aftermath of me expressing those feelings could have on her relationship with my sister and our social circle.
I really care about her and have genuine attraction and interest in her. Since the last trip when everything seemed to intensify my feelings are stronger than ever and don't seem to go away. Were they really signs of attraction or were they just friendly jestures? Did I miss a golden opportunity and if I did, how do I get it back? Am I just overracting to the whole thing and it was really just being friendly? Was it me not doing anything that caused the pull back from her or was it her thinking I was going to do something that caused the pull back?

"Wade! Good to see you back buddy!" Nathan said aloud as he and F approached Wade and Tina, the two breaking their embrace before looking to their friends.
Wade chuckled a bit as he responded to Nathan's greeting, Tina giving a pleasant smile as she stood behind him. "Same to you, man. How're things here?"
"Better than any words I could use for the situation!" Looking behind him, he gazed at a group of the worker drones that were rescued from the factory, having been brought aboard in order to transport them to a safer location. Their faces were of varied gratefulness and smiles as they made conversation with some of the troops onboard. "The rescue-ees are happy to be out of that place, far as I can tell!"
"They sure look like it." Wade said with a pleased smile, admiring the success of his and the Coalition's efforts as Nathan's friend Kurtis came over to the four.
Catching sight of Tina, the veteran drone gave a sly look as he correctly guessed the identity of Wade's accomplice. "Oh, and I see you found your girl you were telling me about."
The drone in question gave a blush of embarrassment as Wade held her hand, chuckling smugly as he introduced Tina. "Ah, yeah. Nathan, Kurtis, F, this is my girlfriend Tina. She's one of the best pilots I've met and known in my life, along with her sister Jasmine."
Tina's blush intensified heavily at Wade's words, a laugh breaching her mouth as she spoke to Wade's colleagues. "Well, I don't like to boast, but my sister and I DID fly for the military a while back."
Nathan and Kurtis gave impressed laughs as F chuckled at the amusing meeting, the former of the duo speaking as he shook Tina's hand. "Heh, well it's a proud pleasure to meet you, Miss Tina! You've got quite the partner with you, I'd say. He helped save F and Gerard from an accident during our time on Ceres."
Tina raised a hand to her mouth in shock as she looked to Wade, surprised by the news of his heroics at his new job before chuckling. "Well, it's not too surprising, I'd probably be dead if he didn't come in to help us." Remembering that F was involved in her rescue too, she glanced to the disassembly drone before quietly adding, "You too, darling."
F gave a thankful smile at the pilot drone as Wade spoke up on Tina's statement on her rescue. "Well, I'd also be done for if you didn't save me back there, with that disassembly drone squad." Tina nodded as Nathan looked to the drone couple in surprise at their stated feat.
"More of them? How many? Three? Fo-" The miner drone asked as Wade answered him mid-sentence.
"Three, and they put up a nasty fight. One almost got me before Tina shot at her with one of those guns these militia guys brought. A trooper must've dropped it during the fighting." Nathan gave an uncomfortable look of shock as Wade added, "One of them looked kinda like you too."
Tina pulled out her gun before holding it at attention, Nathan nodding in admiration of her efforts as she spoke up. "Think I could keep this one? We pilots usually carry sidearms like these, but I lost mine when they kidnapped me aboard the station in orbit."
Nathan and Kurtis looked to each other before nodding in agreement. "Sure, gonna need a holster though. Wouldn't want it to fall out that nice coat there, would we?" While Nathan gave his answer, Kurtis was already heading to the storage bays at the back of the ship, planning on grabbing the sizable holster wrap for Tina's weapon.
"Of course." Tina replied as Kurtis grabbed the desired gear, shutting the cargo door as he returned to the group. Taking the holster in her hand, she handed the pistol to Wade before speaking in between her efforts to attach the holster to her upper leg. "Thanks for the compliment, by the way."
"Don't mention it." Nathan replied back as F stepped up in between the group, wanting to add her own praise as the group looked to her.
"Glad to see so many together in arms here, especially when it's work colleagues like the boys here." Looking to Tina, she continued. "And Nathan's right, Miss Tina. Your partner is quite the guy, I'm a little surprised he didn't join the service. Him and his brother would've made great men if they fought in the ranks."
The positive air was quickly shattered upon the mention of Ron. Nathan, Wade, and the others all looked to F as her eyes became golden rings, the warrior drone realizing her mistake too late as she began to raise a hand to her face.
"...Yeah. Yes, we sure would have." Wade said solemnly, nodding lightly with a slight smile in his attempt to lighten the comment and, in turn, the mood. His smile faltered once again as he saw the others still frowning in sorrow, Wade joining them shortly after before remembering something. "Uh... Nathan? You did bring his body back here, right?"
Nathan nodded hesitantly as he glanced to the cargo bays at the back of the ship. "Yeah, I uh... We put him near the others we managed to recover before we left."
Tina listened with concerned eyes as she held tightly onto Wade's hand, the former worker drone tightening his own grip while speaking further to Nathan. "Good. Maybe, after this is all over, we can... Make preparations for a service. Ron deserves that at the least."
"So... h-he's in one of... those?" Tina asked dreadfully, observing the body bags lying next to each other in front of one of the cargo bay doors before looking back to Nathan, who looked down at the floor before replying.
"...Yep." Initially, Tina started to move, morbidly concerned over Ron's exact fate before stopping herself, still holding Wade's hand as she stood next to him again. Catching a glimpse of her attempt to see Ron, Nathan raised a digital eyebrow at her. "You, uh... want to see him?"
Wade looked down to Tina, who returned the gesture as they pondered over the uncomforting idea. She admittedly didn't want to see Ron, fearful of seeing what was left of him after that battle, but in a twisted way, knowing Wade wouldn't lie to her about a close relative like Ron being dead, she desperately felt the need for even the slightest sense of closure.
Looking to each other, Tina finally built her strength up, giving the faintest nod to Wade as her answer. Accepting her willingness, Wade slowly looked to Nathan, who needed no further gestures or words as he slowly walked over to the body bags, Wade, Tina, and their colleagues in tow. Upon reaching the bags, Nathan knelt down as his friends stopped behind him, Wade and Tina watching as he slowly unzipped the bag open. Despite her effort to be brave, Tina couldn't help but let out a horrified gasp upon seeing Ron's body, immediately noticing the large wound with dark, dried blood at his chest.
Nathan shook his head in dismay as he looked upon the sight of his fallen friend in the flayed bag. "It was when we made our second attempt in raiding the factory back there. We... We managed to pass through most of the halls without much trouble, but... we we're ambushed as we got close to the conversion room."
"G, the disassembly drone that helped the company abduct me, attacked us, along with several other troopers he brought with him." Wade added, him and Tina holding each other tightly as he continued. "We fought them off well enough, but G got an upper hand on me. He almost killed me, but.... Ron got in the way." Tina felt herself beginning to cry as she collapsed into Wade's chest, the former worker drone embracing her ever more tightly as she wept for their friend.
F shook her head in dismay, disappointed in herself as she spoke up. "I could've saved him, if I hadn't let myself get beat down like that. I-"
"F!" Wade said sternly, F ceasing her self-degrading as he tried to ease her guilt. "We did the best we could. If anything, it could've gone a lot worse."
Kurtis patted F on her back as he spoke up on his co-worker. "He was a good man, tried to bring out the best in people. Taught Wade that ideal well, too." He looked to Wade with a smile, the drone taking the compliment with the same gesture as he lightly patted Tina on her back too.
"*sniff* Y-Yes... He d-did try to make life brighter with his actions." Tina croaked as she slowly lifted her head up off of Wade, wiping the digital drops off her face as she added, "He... Him and Wade did well to so many with their farm they had back home, Jasmine and I helped transport their harvests all across the colonies."
The group gave looks and nods of admiration at the labor Tina described, Wade nodding in affirmation as he added, "Yeah, we held that place up for a long while. But if it weren't for the recent storms that ran through this place, we probably would still be farming." He began to chuckle slightly as he noted the events after the storm. "Heh, then again, we probably wouldn't have gone to Ceres if that was the case. So, I'm quite glad life changed our course on that endeavor."
Nathan was about to speak on the matter, but was stopped as Kelly walked out of the cockpit area, speaking to Wade specifically. "Mr. Wade? Our operative and her boss wants to see you and some of your team, says it's about the trouble you and the others went through."
Wade and Tina looked to each other with raised eyebrows before looking to their friends, F raising a hand as she spoke to the couple. "Well, you heard her. Let's get up there." Looking to Nathan, she motioned for him to follow her before glancing to Kurtis, who nodded to her before kneeling down to seal Ron's body bag.
Turning back to Wade and Tina, F smirked at them as they quickly made their way up to the small bridge of the ship, Tina speaking to Wade about the interior and where to go. "I do remember these ships a bit, now that I think about it. There should be a smaller room at the top above us. Come on."
Holding her hand, Wade and Tina made their way into the cockpit, F and Nathan close behind as the four walked up the small steps to the pilot seats. Right next to the ascending steps were another set of such steps, albeit going the other way into another room as Tina mentioned. The lover drones walked up the second set of steps as they entered the room, catching the sound of a conversation in their ears.
"Yeah Tess, they did a number on the security forces from what I've been told by Mr. Kurtis. He seems quite pro-" J stopped as she heard a startled gasp coming from the entrance near the cockpit, spotting her requested visitors as they took notice of her.
Wade, however, was immediately in shock, Tina also spooked by the familiar face as her love drew a sword before holding it out defensively. F and Nathan looked to the two in surprise as the former raised her arms slightly as to calm down Wade, knowing this J wasn't an enemy.
"Whoa there, easy now." The human hologram said with her hands raised as Wade and Tina gave a faint glare at J, who stared unamused with her hands to her hips.
Easy, Mr. Wade. I'm a friend." J stated as Wade kept his blade trained at her.
"Didn't we just kill you out there earlier?" Tina asked as she held onto Wade's arm, J smirking as she took in the amusing detail.
"Oh, yes. I believe you must've taken out one of my clones, not surprised. I killed a few myself back there." The corporate drone replied as Wade lowered his sword, surprised at J's words as she looked to him.
"Clones?" Tina said in bewilderment, confounded by the idea of multiples of the same drone running around.
"So, there's more of you?" Wade asked as he swapped his sword back for a hand.
"Indeed there are, Mr. Wade. Effective disassembly drones get cloned more often." J answered as she cringed slightly, remembering part of the reason she ended up here. "Though, admittedly I wasn't efficient enough recently. I'm a clone of one of the old units dispatched about two decades ago, before the Disassembly Division was officially instated."
Tina raised an eyebrow at J's explanation. "Recently? If you were away all that time, what could've possibly stopped you now?"
The murder drone groaned in slight annoyance as she reluctantly explained her answer. "Well, the colony we were supposedly sent to wipe out was quite persistent. During one of our raids, some brat with a ray gun blasted me in two." Regaining her composure, J flicked her hair with a smirk. "Then again, my clones should be better than they are, the Administrator seems to have a dislike towards me, as far as I can tell."
Wade and Tina glanced at each other as they took in the news, perplexed at the story they were hearing as the former spoke up. "Well, I sure hope so. Your clone didn't put up as much of a fight as I was expecting."
"Right..." J said with a look of disappointment before clearing her throat. "But besides that, we don't have time for THAT kind of backstory. We've got a lot of talk to do, Mr. Wade."
The holographic human raised a finger, drawing Wade and Tina's attention as she spoke. "Say, didn't J tell me about a human friend you had? A 'brother' guy?"
J nodded as she now also became curious over their missing acquaintant. "Ah yes, Ron, I believe. Do you know where he is, Wade?"
The two drones looked down in sorrow as Wade answered in dismay. "He uh... he didn't make it."
J allowed a concerned look to breach her shield of confident pride as her human friend spoke up, sounding sad at the news. "Oh, I uh, I'm sorry to hear that, Mr. W- er... Carter."
"It's alright," Wade replied as he held Tina's hand, looking up to J and the hologram before continuing. "at least he's not hurting anymore."
"My... condolences, Mr. Carter." J said, calling Wade by his last name now as she recovered from the tragic news. "But, it seems you've found someone else important. Who's your friend?"
Wade perked up a bit as he prepared to introduce Tina again. "Ah, yes. This is Tina Fowley, my girlfriend. She was among those captured by the company, I got her out before they could turn her, however."
"She's a pilot too." Nathan chirped from behind Wade, J and her boss stifling laughs as they took in the amusing description of Wade's partner.
"Well, she's quite the cutie, I'll say." The holo-human said in amusement, Tina blushing at the compliment as J spoke as well.
"Indeed she is, good find, Mr. Carter." Chuckling to herself, she remembered that she hadn't even formally met Wade earlier, prompting her to return the effort. "Well, now's as good a time as any to introduce ourselves." Looking to the hologram, J spoke. "Though you probably know who I am, name's J. And this is my boss, Tessa."
Looking to the human girl with a pleasant smile, he spoke to her. "Well, pleased to meet you, Mrs. Tessa."
"Good to meet ya too, Wade!" Tessa replied energetically before bringing herself back to a more serious stance, Wade and Tina feeling a bit surprised by the change of air as she spoke further. "And as much as I hate to cut the pleasantries so short, J and I have some important things to brief you on. So, take a seat and get comfy, everyone."
Noting the pair of chairs in front of the small table J and Tessa were standing on the other side of, the couple took them as Nathan and F stood behind them, simply listening in as J began to explain the matter at hand. "So, you both are probably wondering what this whole mess was all about, correct?"
The two drones nodded as Tina spoke up. "I heard it was having to do something with being recruited for the Disassembly Division, that group you spoke of a second ago. Why did they need to steal me away from my sister up there?"
"Well, the thing is, they didn't." Tessa answered, putting her hands to her hips as her companion explained further.
"Indeed, a simple memory transfer and body scan would've sufficed, but it seems the Administrator was in a bit of a rush." Crossing her arms, J continued in disgruntlement. "From what we gathered, this was done by her as per request by the company CEO, Mr. Jenson. He wanted the Administrator to recruit more drones under a new model of disassembly drone, with slight upgrades that would presumably remove most of the persistent issues each of us have." Shaking her head in disappointment, J finished with, "But, it's clear she cared little for how they were acquired, and way too far overboard with her efforts."
Wade held back his anger as he felt his certainty on the ones responsible grow with J's explanation. "So, it's true? Your people did all this? Got my brother and countless others killed for us?"
The corporate drone seemed to give a sluggish wave of her hand as she replied to Wade. "Well, you see, this whole ordeal is much more complex than it seems." Readying a holo-projector from her hand as it showed the image of a worker drone, dressed in a maid uniform. The hair was silver, two strips of it going down the sides of its head, as well as bearing a bow at the top of it all. Though the hologram made it hard to tell certain details, the drone's eyes appeared faintly as yellow through the blue hue from the hologram light.
Wade, Tina, and their companions eyed the seemingly innocent worker drone in puzzlement as J spoke again. "Now, you should count yourselves lucky, cause what I'm about to tell you is something corporate wouldn't let me spew out to anyone under certain statuses." Looking to Tessa, she continued with a sly smirk. "Then again, it'd probably be forced out of us anyway later on even if we didn't decide to tell you. So, now would be the best time to give you a run-down of the truth we have to share."
"Truth?" Wade asked with a raised hand, J nodding in affirmation before replying.
"Yes." Clearing her throat, J began. "You see, the Administrator was not a creation of JCJenson. At least, not in the way they intended. In fact, she was once a normal worker drone, just like you and I were." Wade raised an eyebrow as J's holo-projector shifted to show a building, a large, very old looking manor that went up a couple of stories high. As Wade and his cohorts observed the structure, J continued her story about her and this Administrator's origins.
"A long time ago, at this place we'll call Elliott Manor, my boss, who was still a child at the time, brought in a few worker drones left outside in a dump near the mansion, mostly composed of scrapped worker drone bodies. Upon bringing us in, Tess would fix us up so we could be her friends. I myself, along with three other drones, were her closest companions. Her family weren't so keen on having us around, but, to keep their daughter happy and to make us useful, Mr. and Mrs. Elliott put us to work keeping the place tidy." The disassembly drone's projector shifted again to show J and her three fellow workers, dressed in the same maid attire J was shown in earlier. Wade and Tina stared at two of them, as they resembled the disassembly drones they fought earlier, most notably N and V.
"Among the four of us here, THIS one would be the biggest problem." The hologram zoomed into the worker drone displayed earlier, postured in a strange, slouched over posture.
"Her name is Cyn, and, unlike J, V and N there, she was more broken than I had surmised back then. Spoke like some old artificial voice generator thing." Tessa stated, pointing at the highlighted drone before Tina decided to speak up on the backstory.
"How broken? Was there something wrong with her coding?" She said as she put a hand to her core.
J nodded lightly as she gave her answer. "Most likely. Do you remember the protocol tape for proper disposal of worker units? Seen it at all?"
Tina and Wade shivered a bit as they thought of the presumed tape J spoke of, dread creeping in from their memories of seeing it as the latter of the duo answered. "I think so, once during a little maintenance time I had years back. I think it was called... 'Zombie Drones'?"
"That's exactly the one." J said with a nod before continuing. "Well, if you saw it all the way through, the pie chart diagram points out the outcomes for OS complications should a worker core be improperly terminated. Out of those outcomes, the smallest, least likely one was 'potentially hazardous mutations'." Pointing to Cyn on the hologram, J continued further. "As for Cyn here, she befell said mutations, and they would come to not only affect her, but all of us at the manor too."
Tina's eyes went wide as she started to click the pieces together, recalling herself reading up on the incident J was hinting at years earlier during a class she took at the college she and Wade attended. "Wait... You, you don't mean SHE was the one who caused the Elliott Gala Massacre?"
J nodded in affirmation as Wade spoke up, confused at the revelation. "Wait, I remember looking into that too. Didn't the news say it was some mass murderer that did it?"
"That they did." Tessa replied as she added to the story. "However, that was a cover-up by the company to hide part of what really happened."
Pulling up what appeared to be a large room full of people inside, J explained the tragedy shown on the projector. "Tessa's parents didn't treat the drones under their service well, and Cyn seemed to despise them for it. On that day during a gala hosted by the Elliotts, Cyn, utilizing the mutations I mentioned, slaughtered the entire attending party there." Glancing to Tessa, J finished with, "Tess and I tried to stop her, but... it was too late."
Holding their hands to their mouths, Wade and Tina looked on in horror, Nathan and F sharing similar dismay as the four looked to Tessa. Knowing their desire to hear how she was spared, Tessa spoke to them. "Despite seeing her kill my parents and everyone in that room with my own eyes, Cyn spared me from the carnage. Took me away to some place so I could be kept quiet."
Raising a hand, F spoke up. "Well, wait a minute, how did Cyn join the company after all that?"
"Good question." J replied, pulling up an image of Cyn and a man, whom Wade recognized as Halloway before the corporate drone explained. "Upon the arrival of law enforcement and agents sent by the company, they found Cyn, who had already turned me and the other worker drones from the manor into the first disassembly drones. After some chatter between the two, Dr. Edgar Halloway, a simple materials recovery officer at the time, struck a deal with her. Talking with the authorities, they managed to convince them to keep the incident on the down low while they took Cyn and her drones in for study. Through said study, addition of protocols and official installation of Cyn into higher company positions, not to mention the creation of the Disassembly Drone Division, the rest is history."
The four drones looked on in stunned shock, taking in Tessa and J's story with unease as Wade spoke up. "So, this new body, the crazy shit that we just went through... it's all cause of this Cyn being? And those who are helping her?"
"That's right." J answered as Tina raised a finger, still concerned over the capabilities of the Administrator as she spoke.
"But, how did she convert you all into what you are now? What were these 'mutations' exactly?"
Tessa sighed a bit as she prepared to explain the origins of this horrible program. "Well, from what information I could gather before I got out of Cyn's clutches a while back, the researchers put to work studying Cyn and her abnormalities came to regard the latter as some kind of program, which grew stronger and more capable quite fast as it was kept under the company's leash. Eventually, they gave it a name: AbsoluteSolver." Pulling out what looked like a smartcomm, Tessa flicked her finger over it as she explained further. "Despite all logic, the AbsoluteSolver program, or, Solver, could generate various things out of thin air, as well as manipulate objects and living beings in many ways. To be blunt, it's like some kind of freaky magic powers for drones.
"Seeing that they could learn a lot from this program, as well as use Cyn's abilities to wring out all kinds of products and items for them to sell and use, the company instated the Solver Project, a research group dedicated to understanding the AS and its potential." Raising a finger, Tessa looked to Wade as she finished her explanation on the Solver. "Said program has been branched out to several other planets over the years, helping to spread this virus as far as possible for purposes we're certain aren't good, given that one of those planets got devastated by an experiment one of the teams did involving the virus."
The news that this infection brought harm to one of the colony worlds didn't sit well with the lover drones, both of them looking on in dismay as J gave more details. "And with that in mind, this recent effort has only cemented our belief that Cyn is up to something sinister. So once we reach the base here in Nevada, we have to make preparations for bringing this Solver Project to a halt... BEFORE it can harm any more people."
Smirking deviously, Tessa raised a finger as she glanced to Wade, who looked to her with concern as she spoke. "By the way Mr. Carter, that Halloway guy you ran into earlier? He leads one of the main teams working on the project."
Wade scoffed in annoyance he was reminded of that man. "Doesn't surprise me, seemed like he was really close to the Administrator from what I saw." Then, thinking on the reason for this briefing he was attending, Wade looked to J and Tessa curiously. "Why are you telling us this?"
J crossed her arms as she explained. "Because, Mr. Carter, YOU are the only disassembly drone we managed to recover from that place. And, given your exceptional performance there, your help would be much appreciated in our mission."
"Mission?" Tina said with a raised eyebrow. "So we're not done yet?"
"For us, not in the slightest. We've got some explaining to do with the government officials stationed at the base we're heading to. As for you all," J answered before looking to the four, all of them returning the glance as she continued. "...that depends on what you all have to say. Can you lend us a hand?"
Glancing to each other, Wade and Tina gazed into one another before nodding in agreement, turning back to J and Tessa before giving their decision. "Well, after what I just went through, and what happened to my brother... I'm sure as hell gonna bring those bastards to justice in one form or another."
"Yes, Wade and I have some talking to do with this 'Dr. Halloway' fellow before this is all over." Tina added, her and Wade holding each others hand as J gave a smirk at their vigorous determination.
"I'm glad to hear you two feel the same on the matter." J said as Tessa put her hands to her hips, slumped slightly as she spoke in a disappointed tone.
"Unfortunately, it may be a minute before we see some action. Once we reach the base, you all will find a place to rest for the time being. Since it's a military base, it should be safe from any major retribution attempts by those blokes at the company." Pulling out her smartcomm again, she continued once more. "As for us, we'll talk to the leaders there and see what their decision will be on the matter."
The quartet seemed to grow concerned over that last part, Nathan raising a hand before speaking his mind. "So, if they say no? Does that mean...?"
J and Tessa glanced to each other before the former answered the veteran drone. "Well, in that case, while it will be harder without official military support, the Coalition will take us wherever we need them to in order to put a stop to the Administrator. Shouldn't be much to worry about."
Taking this somewhat comforting news to heart, Tina and Wade nodded in understanding before the latter spoke to the operatives. "Well, that's good to hear. Whenever you do get an answer, give us a heads up."
"We will, Mr. Carter." J replied to Wade before shifting in her stance, Wade and his friends standing up together as their disassembly drone superior spoke once more. "With all that said, you're all dismissed. If you have any more questions, don't hesitate to ask."
"Thanks for clearing this up, Mrs. J. You too, Tessa." Wade said gratefully before turning to the exit, Tina walking with him as F and Nathan walked over to the operatives.
"Wade? Do you mind coming down to the bay below? I... I have something to show you." Wade nodded to her before they made their way down, the four people behind them continuing the chatter as the couple went to have their long overdue privacy.
Stepping out of the cockpit behind them, Wade and Tina sighed in comfort as they saw the troops busy with their tasks, not giving a glance to the two as they walked close to the sealed door of the transport. Admiring the enormous view the large window in the door gave for a moment, the two drones looked to each other as Tina dug into her pocket. "I was hoping to do this when we got back home, but... I got this from Eridanus while I was visiting." Finding her token of love to Wade, she pulled out the small box she showed off on the call earlier, opening it to reveal her present.
Wade admired the blue gemstone with wide eyes as Tina pulled it out with great care. "Wow... It's beautiful."
Tina chuckled as she extended the gem's necklace band out. "I knew you would, I just happened to stumble upon it while exploring the forest during a tour." Putting the two necklace bands around Wade's neck, she clipped the present together before pulling her arms back, adoring Wade's new add-on as she finished her sentence. "I felt it would be something nice for you to remember me by, while we're away from each other."
Wade smiled at Tina as he expressed his appreciation for the gift. "It certainly will." Stiffling a chuckle, the former worker drone held Tina's hand holding the box as he spoke further. "But, no matter how far apart we are, nothing could fill the space you hold in my heart."
"Same in mine, dear." Tina replied as she gazed into Wade's eyes, noting the faint green in his yellowed visor as she looked on in hopeful amusement. "And yet, even after all they did, I can still see those eyes. Changed from the soft, cool grass to the warmth of a blazing sun." She said while putting the box away, then placing a hand onto Wade's face as he looked off with a blush.
"Tina, I..." Wade began, unsure of how to put his thoughts to words as he tried to find them. "I don't know what they did to me, but I won't let it ruin our relationship." Holding her shoulders, Wade spoke to Tina further. "You're the most beautiful being I've seen in the whole universe, your warmth, your flight prowess... I want to protect that. I want to protect you."
"Oh, Wade." Tina murmured as the two touched their heads to one another, holding each other close in their efforts to provide affection. Such affection intensified as the two joined their metal lips, sharing a long kiss as they enjoyed their moment of awkward romance together.
...
Location: New Nellis Staryards, Nevada
The Chameleon transports zoomed over the large military air base as they arrived at their destination, several A-20 planes flying about over the base as they either carried out flight sorties or, more likely, investigated the arriving craft coming towards the base. After about an hour of flying over the country, the Coalition-USN task force finally arrived at the designated area to begin unloading their rescued drones to an area they could be protected more efficiently.
As the transport began to descend, Wade, Tina, and their friends observed the sight outside the window, spotting several landed aircraft and even a few docked warships. They admired the many ships resting for repair and refurbishment while they prepared to land and disembark for the base outside.
In the small bridge of the dropship, one of the two pilots tapped a button on the control panel, putting a microphone to their mouth before speaking into it. "Base Control, this is Transport Chi-729-B, we've got assets from the recent op lead by Captain Preston aboard. Request permission to land."
"Permission granted, Chi-729. Welcome back." The officer on the other end replied as the transport descended further, two lightningrod jets breaking off as they permitted the craft to land on their grounds below them.

I hadn't read the Book of Jonah all the way through since I was a kid in Sunday School and reading it as an adult on my own it reads almost like a comedy. Jonah doesn't come across as the hero, and the actual text makes it clear that he learned absolutely nothing from his ordeal inside the great fish. So what do we make of this story? Is it two stories (Swallowed by the great fish and waiting for Ninevah's destruction) combined into one book? Is it ancient satire? Did people actually believe this as history in its original context? What is the message supposed to be? Jonah disobeys God several times and gets punished for it, but he is ultimately fine in the end. The story could be read both in favor and against God's mercifulness. God punishes Jonah for disobedience, but spared Ninevah for repentance, and makes it clear that it's not Jonah's place to judge whether Ninevah is worthy of redemption.

I am sharing this as an emotional outlet among other siblings in christ 

My Experience It was January 10, 2011. I’ll never forget that date. It was the day my life changed. Also it was the day of the college football national championship. I was and still am a big college football fan (Go Cal Bears!). Oregon was set to play auburn and i was going to watch it with my neighbor two doors down. I had been doing poorly in school, and yeah was a big pot head, still am, but am much more responsible. Anyways i told myself this semester i was going to actually try in school. I woke up at six am to get ready for my day, something that i never do. I went to put on my shoes and i noticed the laces were missing. Immediately i went to my mom and asked where are my laces? She wouldn’t give me an answer and was just acting so strange. Eventually she left the house and as she was leaving two men were walking up our walkway. I figured they were plumbers considering we had plumbing issues recently. They walked in and before I knew it they walked up to me on either side and slammed me to the ground and handcuffed me. I didn’t react as it was, I didn’t expect it for one, and for two when it began I froze, I didn’t know what to do. Once on the ground I started to squirm, I screamed “Please Help me help me I’m being kidnapped! Please!” They responded No use in screaming no one can hear you. I kept screaming. One of them said go ahead get it over with when your quiet it’ll be over sooner. After probably about ten minutes, I realized no use in fighting, they helped me up and walked me to a small suv and put me in the back and put the seat belt on me. This was the beginning. I remember on the way up to Yoncalla Oregon from Sacramento California we stopped at a burger king. They offered to get me some but food was the last thing on my mind. Looking back I wish I had taken up the offer. I remember being by the ashtray seeing a half smoked cigarette and asking to smoke it, they said I couldn’t. After a long drive we got there they walked me in. The whole way I talked about how I’d get away and run away. Well of course they told the staff at Scott Valley. By the way this is the perfect point to say I was sent to Scott Valley School in Yoncalla, Oregon. One of the many so called trouble teen schools. So being told I had threatened to run away I was put on runaway watch. For about two weeks I was forced to sleep under a light. I obviously didn’t get much sleep. Also I always had two higher phase watchers who would stand on each side of me. They had phases there was like five or six I believe. Most were 2 and 1. There were like 3 phase 3’s and 1 phase 5. There was like 20-30 of us at a time. Anyway where do I start. As I write this, with the emotions and ptsd it comes in full force and yet hazy at the same time. Maybe my head trying to protect me? So I was there seven months, thank god thats it. There were people that had been there years. Some of the people there, my god, I don’t know what to say. From a 12 year old who molested his 1 year old brother and put fish hooks in his carpet so his parents would step on it, to kids that were in there later teens who had used hard drugs, kids that had been molested and acted out as a result, kids that just were wilding out period, a lot of different walks. After I got off of runaway watch I got back on it within two weeks. I was in trouble sitting at the essay table while pe was going on. So one of the punishments was writing essays. But anyway there were two other kids at the table, the twelve year old i mentioned above and the only black kid there on the boys side. I looked at them and said if we worked together we could escape this place. They both just dead stared at me. When it was time to line up, the 12 year old went away first, the other kid looked at me and said were gonna get in trouble, that kid is a snitch and is going to tell on you. He was right. I got put on the “wall” because of that. For two weeks when not eating, sleeping, or using the bathroom, I was staring at a wall were a dot was drawn with a piece of paper on it. I would just let my imagination run wild while this happened thinking about home, friends, family, make believe countries governments politics, anything to keep the mind entertained or semi at peace! There was a green jacket my parents sent up for me that was my grandpa on my mothers side. Grandpa Applegate. It was a super cool green jacket with fake fure on the color, it looked like something you’d wear in the winter in Moscow. They said it had too many pockets and I could hide things in it. So they took it away. They put it in the Pod where all of our extra stuff was stored. Well one pod day where we could exchange stuff, there was a different staff member on duty then the one who said I couldn’t wear it. So i got it out and he didn’t know so i got to wear it for a bit. So when the other staff member got back on shift, he saw the jacket. I was banned from wearing a sweatshirt of any kind for a month. When we had outside pe everyday in Febuary to March I would get so cold. When I would put my hands in my shirt I would get another essay. This is Central Oregon, it gets cold that time of year! So some facts about the living situation, you had three minutes for showers and bathroom. You go over that you get an essay. You get more time the higher phase you get. You ever take a shit in three minutes? If done successfully I commend you. I would go five days without shitting because one of the night workers a guy named Johnny would not keep track of time when I’d get up to ask the restroom in the early morning. Johnny was an angel in a sense. Taking an uninterrupted shit was some of the most bliss I could get. Not trying to be gross but when using the restroom even was so restricted, being able to use the restroom not timed felt like hitting the lotto. When we’d wake up at seven am we only had 1 min to get up and make our bed, timed, if we didn’t make it wed get an essay. I’m naming these things as I remember different events, not necessarily in chronological order, but different events that happened. I had a peach fuzz mustache i was so proud of and long curly hair. They gave me a buzz cut and forced me to shave. My dad sent my grandpa Andrews old electric razor. That’s my dads dad. My biggest hero in my life. His name I got tatted on me at 19. I write this at 29. He died when I was 9. Most of the other kids had razors you could charge, mine needed to be plugged in to work, I didn’t understand that. I had never shaved to begin with, so I thought it was broken. I threw it away and put in a request for a new one. My father told them it was a plug in, but it was already to late so he needed to order me a new one. At a group therapy session thing, yeah we did that every day, and none of the people working there had any degrees that could go to the field they were working in. Anyway my writing is not perfect so as I was saying, at a group therapy thing, Jad one of the main guys working there brought up the razor, he said I knew it wasn’t broken, but I just wanted a new one. You don’t love your grandpa youre just a selfish little bitch. Those words still are ingrained in my mind. I know they are false but god damn they hurt. I cried. As I cried he just continued to tell me how selfish I am and im a bitch a pussy etc. William Frederick Andrews was my grandfathers name, as said I got it tatted on me at 19. He was born 1924, in 2024, my first child, a son, was born, William Frederick Andrews II. I call that a moral victory. Crazy how it worked out to be a 100 year difference. Another time it was 420, I cried because I wanted to smoke and he called me out on it in group therapy. He called me a bitch, a pussy, the usual. Weird things happened there, like one time they did a “fire drill” in the middle of the night, we had to go out into the cold in our underwear for five minutes until it was over. There were girls there but they were in a separate area. When they walked by or vice versa we had to look the other way. One of the many reasons it got shut down is there was a case of a student raping another. Apparently the girl who reported it got hounded in group therapy to the point she recanted. Now I could be wrong, but I think I know the person who did it, only one guy from the male side reached level five to the point where he became staff and could go to the girl side for group therapy. I don’t know for sure but that’s what i assume. At one point they were building a new building and they had us digging the ground around it for construction. Yeah they had us do all the cleaning indoors and out doors. If you were bad you could have your school privileges taken away. I had one kid who was a phase above me copy my work. He got caught. He got demoted, and got repromoted before I left. I never got past phase 1. So phase 1 red shirt. Phase 2 green shirt. Phase 3 Blue shirt. Phase 4 and above whatever you want. Like I said a lot of this is not in order. I am writing this in one go after years of talking about it to my loved ones. Put my thoughts to the pen, or keyboard in this case. So they did this thing were it was like a week, where it was the program or some weird name. They would break you down and “build you up” you would get a demeaning name for a week and then get an empowering name. I got the picture that if you were just a weed smoking low grade getting teen, you wouldn’t be ever seen as getting progress, you had to have “admitting to a bad act” of some sort. I made a story about how I let a girl cut me and drink my blood and how I thought about killing my dad. I know, like why would one lie and say that?!, well I figured if I had said I had done that and then shown to be turned good, it would reward me as changed and out that place. Looking back im like what the fuck. But I just wanted out and I was sure as hell willing to lie my way out. So yeah i went by like blood sucker or something like that for a week, but thats not bad. I remember so well one girl who was adopted and had relations with several boys back where she was from, she got sent there for that, and her name for the week was “Orphan Whore”. Also there were other students who weren’t going through the program that were involved with the process. Elon school or something like that where students yell at other students all sorts of insulting shit The end of it I reclaimed my name or whatever and they had me do like a ballet dance kind of weird thing to show rebirth, not that ballets weird, but in this scenario, yeah. I remember there was a day they said the world was going to end, someday in May 2011 some random wacko said, it made headlines as a joke more than anything, but i remember hearing it and hoping it happens because I wanted out. There was a gym there with rafters. I used to dream of hanging myself from them to get out. I dreamed about a car driving into the school and opening a wall up so we could run away. They used to tell us if we ran away there is bear and cougars out there, if they dont get us the cops will, and theyll put us in juvi just to have us sent back when out. They had these things called group essays. If someone did something and it no one admitted to it wed all have to write an essay about how we could have prevented it. One time a kid wiped shit on all the walls in the bathroom, the kid never admitted to it so we all had to write an essay on how we could have prevented it. I remember one time going to use the bathroom there was semen on the toilet seat, lol teen boys sex drive. I just wiped it off before I sat down. One time late at night I was masterbating in my bed. There was 20 of us sleeping in bunks in the same room, the kid who ended up copying my work i mentioned, saw me making some um, sheet movements, and looked my way giving me a dirty look, i just rolled over pretending like i was scratching, oh snap, almost caught. Not trying to be disgusting, teenage boys, find one that doesn’t masterbate, and i’ll give you some ocean beach front property in Kansas. You got weekly phone calls with your parents, you never dared to say what was going on because they were always listening. Letters same, they read them, so no use in saying something, they’ll just read it and throw it away, later my father asked me why didn’t you tell me what was going on? Well… My gf at the time ended up getting a bf after 6 months of waiting, i don’t blame her. Hey it was teenage love so im not hurt, but at the time it hurt because neither of us willingly ended it. She sent me a bookmark to have up there, it had us kissing on it, they took it from me for it being sexually explicit. They banned me from sitting up in bed and praying. I was atheist from 12 to 27 except for that time, i came back to my faith, praying for my exodus. I’m a christian again now, but only after I found a denomination that was open and affirming because I’m bisexual. Thinking about this, my mind can’t explain the pain, the rain of emotional trauma that falls in my cranium. Many times I’ve turned to cocaine, liquor, and suicidal thoughts because of the pain. It fucked my whole concept of everything in life. My emotions, my understanding of control of my own life, my ability to have healthy relationships, just so much. I still have dreams of being back there and wake up with nightmares, I was sixteen then, i turn 30 this year thirty, i have a beautiful amazing wife, a son who is the biggest blessing in my life, like i got it together now, but I don’t still, obvious by writing this. I remember one time getting to get my glasses prescription. They had to take me to town, the eye doctor, i thought about coming to him for help, but I thought if he works with these people, hell just report me to them, not them to authorities. My grandpa applegate, my moms dad, he died of suicide while I was gone, diagnosed with a terminal cancer he took it into his own hands. I never got to say good bye. When his funeral happened I wasn’t brought home for it, no, I was allowed to “write a letter to be read”. I wrote a letter, and it got read and a lot of family members said how deep it was and mature, I till this day have never watched the funeral video, I can’t. Because I should have been there. When I was on the wall, lookin towards the window could get me in trouble, because it was considered plotting an escape. I read in an english class I know where the caged bird sings, it became my favorite poem because I would watch the birds on the outside of the window and see how free they were. The joy of that. I was a juggalo, they banned me of talking anything icp related. I’d hum icp songs in protest, not like they knew them, also still a juggalo, two scoops of whoop. They day my dad came to get me, well I was peeing, and when I got out I saw him by the front door which was not far from the restroom, I ran up and hugged him saying oh my god dad! I love you! I started crying. He took to the place I always heard the workers there talk about a place called the Sugar Shack, a donut shop. Gosh dang good donuts! Then he took me to some cousins on the coast of oregon. Two days being out I was running on the beaches of the oregon coast. The sand in my feet, the breeze, the feeling of freedom. Scotts Valley School was shut down i think in 2016 for child abuse, i will link articles, but damn that place will forever haunt my head. The bats of the cave of my mind. I am married now with a family. I do my best to be a strong individual and provide, but this place has forever scared me and left me feeling weak. I couldn’t protect myself, so now I want to do everything to protect my family and be there for them. Scotts Valley school, I now live in a place called Scott Valley, the geographic area name, all come full circle? There is probably a lot more I could add to this, but for now, I just wanted to write down the bare minimum. If you have read this, thank you. I have found peace in my mind, heart, and soul as much as I can, and I hope those who have gone through similar ordeals can find some semblance of peace in their existence as well. I thank Jesus for keeping me hopeful in times I wanted to die. God bless you all.
https://www.statesmanjournal.com/story/news/politics/2015/12/14/lack-food-among-abuse-and-neglect-complaints-boarding-school/77246394/
https://www.oregonlive.com/politics/2015/12/hunger_vulgar_names_oregon_air.html
https://www.columbian.com/news/2016/jan/07/oregon-threatens-license-of-teen-boarding-school/
https://www.facebook.com/anorexicchild/posts/scotts-valley-boarding-school-in-yoncalla-oregon-scotts-valley-school-starved-th/368786460137878/
https://media.oregonlive.com/politics_impact/otheScotts%20Valley%20Notice%20of%20Intent%20to%20Revoke%20December%2011%202015.pdf
Ps the starved kid in the please eat post is not me

My Experience 

It was January 10, 2011. I’ll never forget that date. It was the day my life changed. Also it was the day of the college football national championship. I was and still am a big college football fan (Go Cal Bears!). Oregon was set to play auburn and i was going to watch it with my neighbor two doors down. I had been doing poorly in school, and yeah was a big pot head, still am, but am much more responsible. Anyways i told myself this semester i was going to actually try in school. I woke up at six am to get ready for my day, something that i never do. I went to put on my shoes and i noticed the laces were missing. Immediately i went to my mom and asked where are my laces? She wouldn’t give me an answer and was just acting so strange. Eventually she left the house and as she was leaving two men were walking up our walkway. I figured they were plumbers considering we had plumbing issues recently. They walked in and before I knew it they walked up to me on either side and slammed me to the ground and handcuffed me. I didn’t react as it was, I didn’t expect it for one, and for two when it began I froze, I didn’t know what to do. Once on the ground I started to squirm, I screamed “Please Help me help me I’m being kidnapped! Please!” They responded No use in screaming no one can hear you. I kept screaming. One of them said go ahead get it over with when your quiet it’ll be over sooner. After probably about ten minutes, I realized no use in fighting, they helped me up and walked me to a small suv and put me in the back and put the seat belt on me. This was the beginning. I remember on the way up to Yoncalla Oregon from Sacramento California we stopped at a burger king. They offered to get me some but food was the last thing on my mind. Looking back I wish I had taken up the offer. I remember being by the ashtray seeing a half smoked cigarette and asking to smoke it, they said I couldn’t. After a long drive we got there they walked me in. The whole way I talked about how I’d get away and run away. Well of course they told the staff at Scott Valley. By the way this is the perfect point to say I was sent to Scott Valley School in Yoncalla, Oregon. One of the many so called trouble teen schools. So being told I had threatened to run away I was put on runaway watch. For about two weeks I was forced to sleep under a light. I obviously didn’t get much sleep. Also I always had two higher phase watchers who would stand on each side of me. They had phases there was like five or six I believe. Most were 2 and 1. There were like 3 phase 3’s and 1 phase 5. There was like 20-30 of us at a time. Anyway where do I start. As I write this, with the emotions and ptsd it comes in full force and yet hazy at the same time. Maybe my head trying to protect me? So I was there seven months, thank god thats it. There were people that had been there years. Some of the people there, my god, I don’t know what to say. From a 12 year old who molested his 1 year old brother and put fish hooks in his carpet so his parents would step on it, to kids that were in there later teens who had used hard drugs, kids that had been molested and acted out as a result, kids that just were wilding out period, a lot of different walks. After I got off of runaway watch I got back on it within two weeks. I was in trouble sitting at the essay table while pe was going on. So one of the punishments was writing essays. But anyway there were two other kids at the table, the twelve year old i mentioned above and the only black kid there on the boys side. I looked at them and said if we worked together we could escape this place. They both just dead stared at me. When it was time to line up, the 12 year old went away first, the other kid looked at me and said were gonna get in trouble, that kid is a snitch and is going to tell on you. He was right. I got put on the “wall” because of that. For two weeks when not eating, sleeping, or using the bathroom, I was staring at a wall were a dot was drawn with a piece of paper on it. I would just let my imagination run wild while this happened thinking about home, friends, family, make believe countries governments politics, anything to keep the mind entertained or semi at peace! There was a green jacket my parents sent up for me that was my grandpa on my mothers side. Grandpa Applegate. It was a super cool green jacket with fake fure on the color, it looked like something you’d wear in the winter in Moscow. They said it had too many pockets and I could hide things in it. So they took it away. They put it in the Pod where all of our extra stuff was stored. Well one pod day where we could exchange stuff, there was a different staff member on duty then the one who said I couldn’t wear it. So i got it out and he didn’t know so i got to wear it for a bit. So when the other staff member got back on shift, he saw the jacket. I was banned from wearing a sweatshirt of any kind for a month. When we had outside pe everyday in Febuary to March I would get so cold. When I would put my hands in my shirt I would get another essay. This is Central Oregon, it gets cold that time of year! So some facts about the living situation, you had three minutes for showers and bathroom. You go over that you get an essay. You get more time the higher phase you get. You ever take a shit in three minutes? If done successfully I commend you. I would go five days without shitting because one of the night workers a guy named Johnny would not keep track of time when I’d get up to ask the restroom in the early morning. Johnny was an angel in a sense. Taking an uninterrupted shit was some of the most bliss I could get. Not trying to be gross but when using the restroom even was so restricted, being able to use the restroom not timed felt like hitting the lotto. When we’d wake up at seven am we only had 1 min to get up and make our bed, timed, if we didn’t make it wed get an essay. I’m naming these things as I remember different events, not necessarily in chronological order, but different events that happened. I had a peach fuzz mustache i was so proud of and long curly hair. They gave me a buzz cut and forced me to shave. My dad sent my grandpa Andrews old electric razor. That’s my dads dad. My biggest hero in my life. His name I got tatted on me at 19. I write this at 29. He died when I was 9. Most of the other kids had razors you could charge, mine needed to be plugged in to work, I didn’t understand that. I had never shaved to begin with, so I thought it was broken. I threw it away and put in a request for a new one. My father told them it was a plug in, but it was already to late so he needed to order me a new one. At a group therapy session thing, yeah we did that every day, and none of the people working there had any degrees that could go to the field they were working in. Anyway my writing is not perfect so as I was saying, at a group therapy thing, Jad one of the main guys working there brought up the razor, he said I knew it wasn’t broken, but I just wanted a new one. You don’t love your grandpa youre just a selfish little bitch. Those words still are ingrained in my mind. I know they are false but god damn they hurt. I cried. As I cried he just continued to tell me how selfish I am and im a bitch a pussy etc. William Frederick Andrews was my grandfathers name, as said I got it tatted on me at 19. He was born 1924, in 2024, my first child, a son, was born, William Frederick Andrews II. I call that a moral victory. Crazy how it worked out to be a 100 year difference. Another time it was 420, I cried because I wanted to smoke and he called me out on it in group therapy. He called me a bitch, a pussy, the usual. Weird things happened there, like one time they did a “fire drill” in the middle of the night, we had to go out into the cold in our underwear for five minutes until it was over. There were girls there but they were in a separate area. When they walked by or vice versa we had to look the other way. One of the many reasons it got shut down is there was a case of a student raping another. Apparently the girl who reported it got hounded in group therapy to the point she recanted. Now I could be wrong, but I think I know the person who did it, only one guy from the male side reached level five to the point where he became staff and could go to the girl side for group therapy. I don’t know for sure but that’s what i assume. At one point they were building a new building and they had us digging the ground around it for construction. Yeah they had us do all the cleaning indoors and out doors. If you were bad you could have your school privileges taken away. I had one kid who was a phase above me copy my work. He got caught. He got demoted, and got repromoted before I left. I never got past phase 1. So phase 1 red shirt. Phase 2 green shirt. Phase 3 Blue shirt. Phase 4 and above whatever you want. Like I said a lot of this is not in order. I am writing this in one go after years of talking about it to my loved ones. Put my thoughts to the pen, or keyboard in this case. So they did this thing were it was like a week, where it was the program or some weird name. They would break you down and “build you up” you would get a demeaning name for a week and then get an empowering name. I got the picture that if you were just a weed smoking low grade getting teen, you wouldn’t be ever seen as getting progress, you had to have “admitting to a bad act” of some sort. I made a story about how I let a girl cut me and drink my blood and how I thought about killing my dad. I know, like why would one lie and say that?!, well I figured if I had said I had done that and then shown to be turned good, it would reward me as changed and out that place. Looking back im like what the fuck. But I just wanted out and I was sure as hell willing to lie my way out. So yeah i went by like blood sucker or something like that for a week, but thats not bad. I remember so well one girl who was adopted and had relations with several boys back where she was from, she got sent there for that, and her name for the week was “Orphan Whore”. Also there were other students who weren’t going through the program that were involved with the process. Elon school or something like that where students yell at other students all sorts of insulting shit The end of it I reclaimed my name or whatever and they had me do like a ballet dance kind of weird thing to show rebirth, not that ballets weird, but in this scenario, yeah. I remember there was a day they said the world was going to end, someday in May 2011 some random wacko said, it made headlines as a joke more than anything, but i remember hearing it and hoping it happens because I wanted out. There was a gym there with rafters. I used to dream of hanging myself from them to get out. I dreamed about a car driving into the school and opening a wall up so we could run away. They used to tell us if we ran away there is bear and cougars out there, if they dont get us the cops will, and theyll put us in juvi just to have us sent back when out. They had these things called group essays. If someone did something and it no one admitted to it wed all have to write an essay about how we could have prevented it. One time a kid wiped shit on all the walls in the bathroom, the kid never admitted to it so we all had to write an essay on how we could have prevented it. I remember one time going to use the bathroom there was semen on the toilet seat, lol teen boys sex drive. I just wiped it off before I sat down. One time late at night I was masterbating in my bed. There was 20 of us sleeping in bunks in the same room, the kid who ended up copying my work i mentioned, saw me making some um, sheet movements, and looked my way giving me a dirty look, i just rolled over pretending like i was scratching, oh snap, almost caught. Not trying to be disgusting, teenage boys, find one that doesn’t masterbate, and i’ll give you some ocean beach front property in Kansas. You got weekly phone calls with your parents, you never dared to say what was going on because they were always listening. Letters same, they read them, so no use in saying something, they’ll just read it and throw it away, later my father asked me why didn’t you tell me what was going on? Well… My gf at the time ended up getting a bf after 6 months of waiting, i don’t blame her. Hey it was teenage love so im not hurt, but at the time it hurt because neither of us willingly ended it. She sent me a bookmark to have up there, it had us kissing on it, they took it from me for it being sexually explicit. They banned me from sitting up in bed and praying. I was atheist from 12 to 27 except for that time, i came back to my faith, praying for my exodus. I’m a christian again now, but only after I found a denomination that was open and affirming because I’m bisexual. Thinking about this, my mind can’t explain the pain, the rain of emotional trauma that falls in my cranium. Many times I’ve turned to cocaine, liquor, and suicidal thoughts because of the pain. It fucked my whole concept of everything in life. My emotions, my understanding of control of my own life, my ability to have healthy relationships, just so much. I still have dreams of being back there and wake up with nightmares, I was sixteen then, i turn 30 this year thirty, i have a beautiful amazing wife, a son who is the biggest blessing in my life, like i got it together now, but I don’t still, obvious by writing this. I remember one time getting to get my glasses prescription. They had to take me to town, the eye doctor, i thought about coming to him for help, but I thought if he works with these people, hell just report me to them, not them to authorities. My grandpa applegate, my moms dad, he died of suicide while I was gone, diagnosed with a terminal cancer he took it into his own hands. I never got to say good bye. When his funeral happened I wasn’t brought home for it, no, I was allowed to “write a letter to be read”. I wrote a letter, and it got read and a lot of family members said how deep it was and mature, I till this day have never watched the funeral video, I can’t. Because I should have been there. When I was on the wall, lookin towards the window could get me in trouble, because it was considered plotting an escape. I read in an english class I know where the caged bird sings, it became my favorite poem because I would watch the birds on the outside of the window and see how free they were. The joy of that. I was a juggalo, they banned me of talking anything icp related. I’d hum icp songs in protest, not like they knew them, also still a juggalo, two scoops of whoop. They day my dad came to get me, well I was peeing, and when I got out I saw him by the front door which was not far from the restroom, I ran up and hugged him saying oh my god dad! I love you! I started crying. He took to the place I always heard the workers there talk about a place called the Sugar Shack, a donut shop. Gosh dang good donuts! Then he took me to some cousins on the coast of oregon. Two days being out I was running on the beaches of the oregon coast. The sand in my feet, the breeze, the feeling of freedom. Scotts Valley School was shut down i think in 2016 for child abuse, i will link articles, but damn that place will forever haunt my head. The bats of the cave of my mind. I am married now with a family. I do my best to be a strong individual and provide, but this place has forever scared me and left me feeling weak. I couldn’t protect myself, so now I want to do everything to protect my family and be there for them. Scotts Valley school, I now live in a place called Scott Valley, the geographic area name, all come full circle? There is probably a lot more I could add to this, but for now, I just wanted to write down the bare minimum. If you have read this, thank you. I have found peace in my mind, heart, and soul as much as I can, and I hope those who have gone through similar ordeals can find some semblance of peace in their existence as well. I thank Jesus for keeping me hopeful in times I wanted to die. God bless you all.
https://www.statesmanjournal.com/story/news/politics/2015/12/14/lack-food-among-abuse-and-neglect-complaints-boarding-school/77246394/
https://www.oregonlive.com/politics/2015/12/hunger_vulgar_names_oregon_air.html
https://www.columbian.com/news/2016/jan/07/oregon-threatens-license-of-teen-boarding-school/
https://www.facebook.com/anorexicchild/posts/scotts-valley-boarding-school-in-yoncalla-oregon-scotts-valley-school-starved-th/368786460137878/
https://media.oregonlive.com/politics_impact/otheScotts%20Valley%20Notice%20of%20Intent%20to%20Revoke%20December%2011%202015.pdf
Ps the starved kid in the please eat post is not me