I'm a 27 yr old female. There is a lot of context/rants so read 1st, and skip to 2nd to last paragraph maybe to skim it... Essentially, I have been out of work for a while. I got covid in December, and pretty bad covid too. I already had issues before that, I eat cleanly and am super healthy but have a wonky immune system. I also have narcolepsy with cataplexy (N1,) as stated by a sleep dr. 6 years ago, but I didn't believe him and never followed up. They ruled out seizures and MS and I am terrified of doctors (especially now, after being yelled at by my family for my saying I needed to go to the ER with severe vomiting and vertigo, I have an inner ear thing. It acts up with allergies. Azelastine nasal spray has prevented it so I am happy for that. Humid climates fuck with me too. Before, I thought I was dying. Multiple times this has happened and I was told I would be viewed as "crazy," and they would put me away forever, so I would be better off dying myself. told me to off myself but i blocked out the exact phrasing. because I was panicking AND I COULDN'T STOP SHAKING AND VOMITING CUZ DEHYDRATION. My GP said I should go to the hospital. Praise god, or the universe thank god, I didn't die but, it was bad. Somehow, I may wish I had. But that wouldn't have been very fun.)
After covid, the N1 got worse. Much worse. I already am on high dose stimulant meds for ADHD (which is half of the treatment for N1 anyway and partially why I never followed up 6-7yrs ago, I know I'm dumb sometimes but I just thought it was a fluke.) and have been for a while. I CAN'T STAY AWAKE for things. It isn't depression (well, maybe a bit now, which doesn't help lmfao, because this shit is depressing. But I still WANT to better my life, not consistent with depression... I AM JUST SO FUCKING TIRED AND SLEEPY AND sometimes i can't tell what is real and what is not. Also cataplexy, have it on camera accidentally. And a 30s microsleep. Like this is serious. I just can't properly deal with this until I do a sleep study, insurance changes and I hated the place/organization I was with originally, not for the sleep doctor, but for a multitude of other reasons... wish i remembered that nurses' name so I can report her. It was pulling teeth with my now-retired GP for any basic med too! So, finding a new sleep doctor and study, which isn't for months.) AND THE INSURANCE COMPANIES HATE THIS CONDITION because the drugs to treat it are very controlled substances, and one in particular is V expensive/insurance loves to throw a hissy fit about. (yet another reason why I put it off, but it is an emergency at this point. I pushed as much as I could, I'm just NOT sleeping when/how normal humans should and it is ruining my life yay. I never feel rested. Ever. I pray that I will, on the odd occasion but it's like 0-1/10 in the range of 10 being well rested.)
I'm trying to justify my issues to you guys.
I am living w/ my parents. I lived in another state in college, had a planet fitness membership and GYM MEMBERSHIPS WILL RUIN YOUR LIFE stg. Jesus. Wouldn't let me cancel, I kept pausing it for as long as I could. I'm not about to drive 4hrs to cancel a gym membership, since it was out of state the employees at branches near me either didn't know what they were doing or said I wasn't allowed to do that... But I got sick this year and forgot. Bank account overdrawn. LITERALLY LESS THAN 14 DAYS overdrawn. Part of it was an overdraft fee. AND THEY CLOSED IT. I had been sick for months but was pet sitting and doing SOME THINGS (like selling old clothes, etc.) to keep a positive balance. I just got REALLY WAYY too sleepy to care about anything. And was screamed at, my father came at me physically and told me to sleep on the street a month+ ago, because I wasn't invited to one of my only childhood friend's wedding. When both of my parents were, and I WAS UPSET. I am an adopted only child with a small family. This meant a lot to me. I never saw who the envelope was addressed to.
For my birthday, my mom offered to go into the bank with me to help the situation (I felt so embarrassed, I didn't want to do it alone and embarrassed that I was falling asleep the whole time too. The lady told a joke and I just collapsed onto the desk haha, cataplexy literally. I usually hide from my family, because I don't want to be bullied.) The kind lady helping me mentioned "joint bank account." It was my birthday, and my mom was there so I was scared of speaking up and ruining any joy that I had. I just realized now, that means that my mom AND DAD have access to all of my finances. I am super private. I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS. PERIOD, POINT MF BLANK jesus.
My bank account is not my own anymore. I am 27 years old. My dad refuses to let me have the rest of my money (college money, which was never used as I got scholarships based on talent... yeah. too bad I'm a human with needs too. There may b tax issues? But it is only a few thousand left, which is still enough to open a bank account on my own so at least I have that independence.)
I am working through my issues, and when I am bleeding out SO MUCH I am getting dizzy, because my dad cornered me (he is 2x my size,) in the kitchen next to a knife block, physically laying hands on me for being upset about a non-invite wedding which is a rational response, I had to physically stab myself IN THE NECK to get him to be shocked and move over enough so that I could move to a safer location where I had a way to escape. Didn't occur to me I could have hurt him instead. Was bleeding for hours and hours, cut deeper than I meant to, but I didn't even want to. It was all I could think of to get him OFF OF ME. Yes I am in therapy. This makes no sense to anyone. But my parents because I am not allowed to have any feelings in their eyes, and they won't want to feel upset if I am upset they go to a wedding of a close (like closer than my cousins,) family friend without me. THEY NEVER EVEN TOLD ME I WASN'T INVITED. I had to joke about it for my mom to get the "oh, we thought you knew." I SAW THE INVITATION. It didn't say the names of who was invited. Why would I think I wasn't?
So it is no mystery why I don't trust these people. I am so exhausted and SLEEPY that I try to limit driving as much as possible. If a sleep attack is coming on, I DON'T PUSH through it. (learned the hard way years ago haha, car accidents are only fun in GTA.) I am in the process of getting more help, but insurance doesn't care if we live or die apparently. Neither does my family it seems.
WHAT DO I DO?! Do I call the bank??? Tell the lady (who is also good friends with my family,) like, hey... uh there was a mistake I don't want a joint bank account. My mom gave my $500 AS A BDAY gift, which was nice. But it was used to reopen what I thought, was my bank account.

Hello, gusto ko na lang talagang ilabas 'to kasi hirap na hirap na talaga ako. Please suggest some things that I can do to lessen my problems, pero sana hindi masyadong harsh hehe.
I'm 18 years old and pakiramdam ko sa lahat ng parte ng buhay may problema ako. Dapat 1st year na ako ngayong AY and turning second year next sem, pero I dropped out first sem pa lang ng freshman year ko. Sinabi ko sa family ko na ittry kong mag-aral mag-code/program (since yung kinuha kong course is Computer Science) and bigyan lang nila akong 1 year, pag nag fail mag-eenroll ako ngayong year. And yun na nga, nag-fail. Wala akong idea sa coding/programming and hindi ako masyadong interested doon, gusto kong makakuha ng IT related knowledge kasi yun ang in-demand ngayon at hindi kami mayaman kaya kailangan kong maging wais sa pagdedesisyon sa buhay. Pero ngayon parang lalo ko pang pinalala ang sitwasyon ko, I tried mag apply sa ibang univs as freshman pero hindi pala ako pwedeng matanggap dahil nakapag-enroll na ako last yr sa ibang school and kailangan tranferee na ako. Kailangan kong makuha yung documents ko sa dating school and malaki yung babayaran. Sinabi ng mga magulang ko na kunin na yung documents at bayaran na lang namin yung balance sa school pero naaawa na talaga ako sa kanila, alam kong pinaghirapan nila yung pera pero parang mawawala lang ng ganon dahil sa mga maling desisyon ko sa buhay. Nag enroll ako sa univ na yon dahil tutulungan kami ng mga pinsan ko (mother's side) sa tuition fee and sa allowance.
Pero here's the real reason why I dropped out of college: - I was pressured, since maraming nag-papaaral sa'kin ang dami kong tao na kinoconsider bago ako makapag desisyon, and I overthink a LOT. - add ko pa rito na I applied for scholarships tapos lagi akong tinatanong kung nakapasa ba ako, sobrang tagal ng resulta and may scholarship na nag-release ng result tapos hindi ako nakapasa so lalo pa akong na-down. (may isang scholarship na nakapasa ako pero too late because nag-drop out na ako when they released the passers.) - medyo strict din yung mga pinsan ko na nagpapaaral sa'kin so medyo napressure din ako don, and they're pretty successful people so yon. - I was shocked, sobrang laking adjustment para sa akin dahil mula elementary - senior high school ay sa lugar lang namin ako nag-aral then biglang nag Manila ako. Nag-adjust rin ako sa environment, kasi sa bahay na ako ng mga pinsan ko nakatira and sobrang nahihiya akong kumilos, tinutulungan na nila ako financially tapos sila pa nag-aasikaso sa akin. - Friends & cousins (not the ones that are helping me, father's side), nung nakapasa ako sa univ na yon my friends and cousins weren't that happy for me, they were asking kung dun na ba ako mag-aaral and all. Ayokong sabihin yung tuition fee sa mga pinsan ko pero nasabi ng nanay ko sa tita ko because natanong sya on the spot so nasabi nya and nalaman ng mga pinsan ko, tapos nung nalaman nila they acted na parang papahirapan ko mga magulang ko (kasi di nga kami mayaman and di namin afford) and they were telling me na gusto ko lang kaya ako papapasukin doon, when in reality gusto ko rin naman talaga pero gusto rin akong ipasok ng mga magulang at mga pinsan ko (mother's side) sa maayos na school.
Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Gusto kong kausapin yung mga magulang at mga pinsan ko na bigyan ulit ako ng chance na pag-aralin ako at dun ulit sa univ na yon (bc baka mahirapan na akong lumipat) pero hindi ko alam kung papayag pa sila because na-disappoint ko na sila. Sobrang naappreciate ko pa rin talaga silang lahat kasi nung nagdecide na akong ganon hindi nila ako pinagsalitaan ng masama, they even tried things para mas maging magaan yung loob ko kasi lumalayo na ako sa lahat at that time. Sobrang hirap para sa akin kasi pakiramdam ko sinayang ko lang yung pag-aaral ko nang mabuti mula elem - shs, alam ko naman rin na hindi ako tanga pero parang naging ganon na ngayon yung tingin ko sa sarili ko, lol.
I deleted my socmeds when I dropped out, wala akong na akong connections sa lahat ng mga kaibigan ko for the past 8 months.
May nangyayari pang gulo sa pamilya namin ngayon so mas lalo akong nahihirapan pero hindi na ako magdedetail sa part na to.
And I'm also broken hearted rn haha, my ex who is also my best friend is now out of my life. Malaki rin yung naging parte nya sa buhay ko because we've known each other for around 6 years. Ayoko na rin idetalye to kasi baka mabasa nya, gusto ko na lang rin syang hayaan kasi may iba na na nagpapasaya sa kanya. Salamat pa rin sa kanya.
Kailangan ko lang talagang mafigure out yung gagawin ko para makabalik sa pag-aaral kasi nung yun pa lang yung problema ko sobrang sakit na sa ulo, tapos habang tumatakbo yung oras lalo lang nadagdagan yung mga problema.
Sorry pero hirap na hirap na ako, araw-araw na iyakan, sleepless nights, at ngayon hindi na ako makakain kahit ako yung tipo ng tao who loves to eat, lol. Naaawa na rin ako sa nanay ko kasi laging kaming dalawa lang ang magkasama and siya yung nakakasaksi ng mga pag-iyak at panghihina ko. I'm even considering na tapusin na lahat ng paghihirap na to kasi hindi ko naman alam kung worth it ba talaga, kung may liwanag ba talaga at the end of the tunnel. Pero iniisip ko rin na sobrang laki ng mundo, bilyong-bilyong tao ang walang pakialam kung mawawala ako ngayon kaya gusto ko na lang rin sanang maranasan kung paano maging successful at maranasan maging totoong masaya.
Pasensya na po wala na akong ibang mapagsabihan, nakakatakot na rin magtiwala at magsabi sa iba, at least dito anonymous haha.

My most recent psychosis occurred due to a number of underlying reasons that I was dealing with over a 6-8 week period and was mostly delusional.
The lead up to it - I had just finished the largest engineering project that I had been working on for two years,. My wife and I were having a very difficult and stressful time, with disagreements all the time.
My body was yelling and screaming for help and I could feel it from deep down inside me. I went to see doctors and psychologists but it didn't do it for me.. A childhood friend then passed away and that tipped me over.. All of a sudden I was placing myself in my friends place and I had all these questions that I had for myself.
I took a few days off work in the hope that it would get better, however, as I returned I just felt exhausted and overcooked. That's when I started to lose it... Note that I wasn't doing any hard drugs at the time, nor was I drinking, but in that upleading week, I was having the occasional nitrous oxide (N20) cannisters.
I went to get my tarot cards read upon returning to work (first time). The lady who conducted the card reading told me to choose the cards when "I feel the energy above the deck".. I actually felt the cards drawing my hand closer to them. I received the following cards, all of which seemed were of major importance to me: (1) Stand your Ground, (2) Hope, (3) Foundation & Achievements, (4) Base Chakra, (5) The Waiting Game, (6) Third Eye Chakra, (7) Love Begins, (8) Spiritual Union, (9) Intuition, (10) Conquer & Defeat.
..That night I went for a walk, I saw a shooting star - it was the first time that I had seen one and was so beautiful. I rushed into tell my wife about the tarot cards and the shooting star.. we both broke down in tears. Later on that evening I would tune into Youtube, and learn more about finance, investing, life, philosophy and music - all of which were major interests in my life.
The next morning I woke up and got ready to go to work. I couldn't help myself but start crying when all of my songs came on. Notorious BIG - Juicy: "Born sinner, the opposite of a winner, remember when I used to eat sardines for dinner".. I had sardines for dinner growing up too, and I could literally taste my mothers sardine dish in my mouth while the song was playing... As I raced onto the highway, it felt as though I was so connected to everything. I rolled the windows down and felt the air around me...The number plates around me "8SAMA" - which I had a feeling that there was going to be a terrorist attack occurring in the not too distant future. "FX Silver" - I was speculating with precious metals back at that time and thought it was a sign that due to the terror attack, silver was going to increase in price. "IDK IDK" - I was listening to the song I don't know by Tion Wayne, Stormzy, etc. the night before my psychosis.. Everything around me was providing me with signs and nothing was a coincidence. It felt like I was enlightened or something?
I called my brother in the morning who lived abroad, he said that he was being overworked and stressed out. He wanted to head to New York for new years eve and I immediately told him not to go as something bad was going to happen. When I went back into the office, I felt as though there would be some kind of market correction before the terror event occured, so I tried to sell all of my crypto, the only problem was, when I entered all of my key seed phrases, one of them somehow disappeared and I could no longer access my crypto wallet. That was when everything cracked further.. I thought the government was onto me as I had put all the pieces of the puzzle together and started to warn people around me.
I grabbed my manager from the office and told him I needed to speak to them. I wanted to come clean with everything that had happened. During this time I felt at peace and in this blissful place. I was seeing visual signs of things from my past which were interacting with my present moment .. it felt like everything around me was staged. I came clean to the manager and told them that I had been struggling at work, and using drugs and alcohol to cope, I said that it also put so much strain on my relationship and my wife was going to leave me. At this time it felt like the police had wire tapped my manager and everything I was saying was going on record. I was trying to outsmart him with every question that they had for me and it was like I was playing 4d chess in my head. We spent close to 2.5 hours talking about my situation -at every stage I was waiting for when the popo were going to pop out and arrest me.
My wife had been contacted and came to pick me up. She took me back home, but while I went home I thought that our house had been bugged and wired. To me our neighbours were acting odd, and so many things were working in my head, I just didn't know how to relax and calm down. The next day I was taken to my parents place, and I initially started by doing a little bit of exercise, I still felt as though the police were after me and I had something to prove to the world. I then had a panic attack, where I legitimately felt as though I couldn't breathe, my wife and family rushed me to the emergency department at the hospital, and I was met with a psychiatrist who put me on a large dose of antipsychotic medication. Don't know where I'd be without my wife to support me through everything.
I then came back and rested. Slowly but surely I started to realise that I had just experienced a psychotic episode that lasted for several days. Following this event, I had a major depressive episode, which took months for me to recover, and approximately one year later I am in a better place mentally, but I am still not 100 %.
It turns out I have a family history of this sort of bullshit that nobody told me about, and being exposed to drugs and alcohol would only increase the risk of any symptoms. I've been off all the drugs and attempting to stop alcohol, and live a more holistic, natural life. Let's see what happens. For anyone dealing newly dealing with it or in the process of recovering, it gets better. Keep your head up.
If anyone else has a psychosis story or would like to open up about their feeling of oneness or connectedness, please do feel free to share below.
<3

I started CA in 2018 and passed my foundation exam in first attempt but due to some personal problems I couldn’t appear for nov 19 attempt and after that everything went mayhem.
While all my peers completed this course last year in 2022-23 I was venturing out there partly failing in CA partly failing in other aspects of life. Now here I am in 2024, with no self confidence or self respect whatsoever. No friends no classmates nothing, No one to even a have a simple conversations about the course.
Now I am planning to appear for sept 2024 inter g1 so do you guys think I should still try or honestly should I give confirmation about me being a failure to myself and my family?

My brother had availed services of Unischolars Pvt Ltd for the processing of his immigration application in the UK.
It was free of cost for him.
They promised him a scholarship of ₹70,000 if he would get everything processed by them (accomodation, insurance, etc). He got processed everything except his Visa.
At the time, they did not inform us that opting out of Visa service would affect the disbursement time or amount of the scholarship.
In fact, they encouraged my brother to provide referrals, and my brother referred another student to get his application processed through them.
We were supposed to receive the scholarship money by November 2023 which we accounted towards my brother's rent installment in the UK.
But, since then, they stopped replying to our messages or responding to our calls. Once when they did in March 2024, they assured us that the money would be credited within 15 days.
It has still not been credited, and when we threatened to take legal action, they are citing conflict of interest with my brother's visa processing agency (Leverage EDU).
They did not bother to tell us anything for the past 7 months when we were helplessly following up.
On being asked when will the conflict be resolved since it is 7 months already, they do not have any definite reply. In fact, they are gaslighting us by saying that the services were provided for free to my brother, so we should be grateful for that only.
However, they are not free. The company is sitting on hefty commissions earned on two applications and refusing to pass on the benefit that they so boldly advertised and promised. Secondly, why were they not transparent with my brother during the time of application? And lastly, why wait for 7 months and a legal threat to even give us one response?
It's not only a case of misleading advertisement, but also horrendous customer care that has caused us immense mental strain and financial crunch (since on their promise, my brother accounted that money for his rent). We are a middle class family. It screwed up our carefully planned budget.
When we said we'd take a legal action, their response was non chalant, as if it does not matter to them that they are in the wrong.
What can I do in this situation? Such companies need to be held accountable for their false advertising and poor customer care, especially when they promise money to middle class students and not adhere to it.
PS: I wrote an email to nch-ca@gov.in but I am not sure when will they reply. I tried filing complaint through consumer forum's whatsapp, but it does not reply anything after I select "visa and immigration agency" in the industry category.
Please advice, thank you🙏🏼

Mom70 Dad 72 Bro 31 Me 28 Sis 27 My parents are retired modestly wealthy. They worked their whole lives, saved, and played the stock market well. All my siblings were made to go to college. I am the odd one out because I took longer, even though I had the highest SAt/ACT scores, better grades, more scholarships. I just didn’t like college, it was the worst experience, I mean when I say I finished college so my parents can shut up. When I was 18 I moved out, I was on my own for 7 years, I came back home after a horrible break up.
My parents like to call me the prodigal child(the child that ran away and came home or whatever). I pay my own things, besides my rent as my parents says they don’t want me to. My sister also lives at home, however she stayed home for college, she’s the baby, she was given her car, she has no bills, but mounting credit card debt (I never told my parents this, never will) my brother married a rich woman, living his best life, also never worked in his life,( and never been a good big brother, for example if a man wanted to beat me, I wouldn’t call my brother) and now he become so boujee I barely know him anymore. I am in the process of moving, everything is so costly, however I am doing it. My car had problems, my parents paid the 2,500$ to fix it, I am going to pay them back. However my siblings kind of went off on me , saying how I make mom and dad sad, how my life turned out, how I don’t have a job with my degree, how I went to live on my own and was broke most the time. My sister said “you need to be better, like you are so disappointing, I remember how smart you were in high school”
This is another thing my family loves to bring up my past accomplishments. It literally makes me want to end my life when they do that.
I am thankful for my parents helping me, however I feel like I’m in a jail sentence. With this constantly hanging over my head. I am going to pay them back, but my brother and sister judement and how they think of me, hurts me.
If I didn’t have my dog, idk what I would do honestly I feel like such a piece of shit Yes I am the middle child.

Hello, I’m currently torn between choosing UST and DLSU. For the record, I’m from UST SHS and passed UST-MEDTECH and DLSU-HUMBIO. I want to ask lang po for your opinion regarding which school and program would give me a better future. I’m good with both programs. I may not be sure what course I should take, but I’m pretty sure I belong to an allied health course.
Here are what I consider the pros and cons of both schools:
UST
Pros: - familiar and sanay na with the place - UST is known for its expertise in med courses - sila na mag-eenlist ng subs mo, need mo na lang pasukan (blocking system din sila) - i went sa orientation and nakita ko na may AMERICAN MEDICAL TECHNOLOGY exam (tas nakita rin ng mom ko kaya pinu-push niya ako dito. For the money hehehehe🤑) - i won’t feel alone kasi i have my friends and some kakilala sa ust eh (i dunno if i should consider this as a pro, kasi tbh, ayoko ng may kasama ako sa school na dating kakilala ko kasi i feel pressured eh. I feel like they’re waiting for my downfall (hala nag-open up))
Cons: - limited scholarship☹️ - toxic (hehe…) - some people na ayokong makita ay nandito (charizz)
DLSU
Pros: - humbio will allow you to become a doctor in just 6 years - i heard generous sila sa scholarship - new environment (walang nakakakilala sa akin, back to zero ang lahat🫶) - trisem (meaning ma-sshorten ang college years?) - may placement exam (pwede ma-credit ang ilang subs ko this shs)
Cons: - marami daw pong daga sa taft😭 anyways, 2 years sa taft then remaining years sa dasma - my mom and i went to cavite last week, and the traffic????!!! Medyo malayo pala ang dasma - you have to enroll your subjects mag-isa, and i heard matagal daw ang queing (may nade-delay po ba dahil nauubusan ng slots sa subs like UP?)
I’m not from a wealthy family, I have to think which course I should take for us to have a better future. I need to consider everything I have to consider. I want to be in a school that would give me much more benefits. Please help me out. When it comes to employment po ba, anong school mas want nila?
Thank you!

This is my first time DMing a campaign, and I have decided to go the route of homebrewing my own world. I'm having a hard time actually building the foundations of the world, and was hoping for some advice or inspiration
I brainstormed some ideas about the world, but I just can't get past writer's block and feel stuck. Listed below are some of the ideas I have regarding some basic lore.

• Main religion is that of worshipping the sun and moon as gods.
• The oceans of the world are black like ink, and are what the Gods used to create life. (The life of men)
• The children of the 2 main Gods represent landscapes, such as mountains, the ocean, ect.
• The first life created by the Gods were dragons that became guardians of certain areas of the earth and are designed by the environment they inhabit, such as a Red Dragon protecting a volcano
• Some of the children aren't just landscapes but represent ideas such as hope, death, life, evil etc.

Overall I have a broad idea about the creation, but not how people interact with Gods or their children in forms of worship.
As for the actual world itself I'm having a hard time creating factions or just town building in general. I've watched some videos for how to create towns and cities, but am having a hard time for inspiration on where to put things, and creating geography for the world. I messed around on a fantasy map building site and randomly built a world outline, but that's all I got. I never realized how hard it is to actually world build lol.
I've only had one session so far with my group. In the encounter I had them start as level three and were all together underneath a colosseum as they were captured and sold into slavery to entertain the masses of lower nobility families that had been pushed away into exile by a paranoid king that was in power named Hagvard evil eye.
I had them in a cage under the colosseum that was lifted using gears to move them into position on like a Ferris wheel type contraption. On top of the floor was a trap door they came through. The colosseum had 60 foot walls high with a mote that was 20 feet across and secondary walls 80 feet high behind the mote with a couple of wizards 120 feet up using wall of force to keep the masses safe. The location was on the island in the bottom left corner of the map. Essentially it's Australia. They ended up fighting some Worgs, and winning. I put them back down to get a short rest, but they decided to escape even though I made the bottom of the colosseum have 12 human guards, and the cages of animals they were going to fight in the ring. I tried to make it player proof, but of course things go off rails.
I have nothing set up beyond this and pulled all of this out of my ass the day before the session. I have no actual caste system or towns set up besides this fighting arena.
Any advice or ideas would be great for inspiration, thank you in advance!

Hey everyone I hope someone can help me with this. I am a transfer student and this was my first year at UNT. My declared major when I transferred from a CC was Mechanical Engineering and my transfer GPA was (I don’t remember quite well) 3.4/.5. The thing is that in the 2023 Fall semester I went through a bad depression episode due to personal/family issues and I failed all my classes (3 F’s and 1 D) and obviously my UNT gpa tanked (this was my first and only semester at UNT). After that I decided to switch career paths and decided for Business Analytics BBA. Because I had ruined my gpa I lost the transfer excellence scholarship I had so I couldn’t afford a second semester at UNT so I decided to go back to CC for this Spring semester to do all my pre-business courses and come back to UNT the next fall semester (2024). I saw that to switch to this specific major you had to have a 2.7 gpa and a B or higher grade in all of your pre-business classes (which I do, I took all 7 classes this semester and I got mostly B’s and A’s) but I wanna know if the semester that I did really bad is gonna affect my chances of getting into my new major. My overall GPA right now is 2.8
Also, sorry if this post is difficult to read, English is not my native language :(

Hello,
For most of my undergrad my parents have had an income very firmly within the Cal Grant income limit; I've confirmed this with their tax forms each time I've filed. I've qualified for it for the past three years. This filing, they barely passed the upper limit, losing my Cal Grant. At the same time, my sister also is about to start undergrad and, assuming we were going to get Cal Grant, she committed to a UC. Of course, I am privileged to be in this position where my parents have a net income high enough. Still, their incomes are definitely not sufficient and our financial situation is not strong enough to support the both of us going to college simultaneously. Bad timing with the changes to the FAFSA sibling discount I guess.
Is there anything I can do? Can I negotiate with my FA office? I work full-time over breaks and part-time over the semester. I've applied to and gotten some scholarships. We also have the MCS, but that also just isn't enough. My family is panicked over this. I'm usually the one organizing the documents for FA, so it's my fault for not double checking things this time around because I just thought it would be the same as previous years. I feel especially bad about that. I'm sorry if this comes off as tone-deaf or too privileged, that isn't my intention. Thank you for any help.

so, basically i was the golden child of the family. passed scholarship, went to a school in colombo, passed o/ls (mid results). but, before quarantine, i felt like you know sad and lonely. then i asked my mom and dad about it. both of them laughed at me and said be a man and started to ramble about how they got up in 3 am back in the day and how they had to feed the cows and give the milk to the shop before going to school (both bring this story everytime when they argue with me, and i'm so sick of it). in the o/l days, i got beaten up by bunch of schoolmates for not telling them answers for the exam and when i tell my mom about it, she started to tell everyone (i meant everyone) about it. and after that, i got severly trust issues and decided to not tell my problems to anyone. most of my family is at home but, i felt left out and alone. it hit hard on the quarantine but, now i got used to it and i crave for loneliness now. did a/ls in 2022 and failed miserably because, i dont have any motivation or passion to do anything. they always ask do you have a problem but, i always tries to change the subject because i was so scared to get laughed and mocked at. now, i'm studying again for the 2024 a/ls but, i dont feel like it. i procrastinate everything, i cant focus on one thing for more than 2 mins, my attention span is so shit and i feel so fucking depressed. i cant think of a day where anyone in my life talked nice to me. parents always shouts at me. dont have any irl friends (had some in the a/l days but they wont talk). i dont know what to do. tried to suicide couple of times but, i dont have the guts to do it. some people from online said go to therapy but, i dont have any money and i cant ask my parents about it either. so, i'm stuck in a limbo where everything i hear is shouting, laughing and mocking.
sorry for this garbage rant. i dont have anyone to talk.

This is a really long story with lots of context so I'll do my best to organize it into current situation, then his backstory and hers. I'm also not using real names or specific locations for any of this to try and keep this private. This also has some contradicting stories and because of how their relationship is structured relies mostly on information I have gotten from my sister, so I'm telling you the story I got from her first and then adding in what I've found out. I'll try to tell this as unbiased as I can but it's been a huge issue in my family for a long time now and that's a little difficult for me to do.
My (20F) sister (Olivia, 24F) has been dating this guy (Trevor, 25M) since 2021. When they started dating, she talked about him fairly often, sent a few pictures of them, ect., but then after a month she stopped mentioning him/ was cagey when we (me and my mom mostly) asked how he was so we assumed it just hadn't worked out. Then two months later she insisted that my parents (54F and 56M) and I all come to visit her college to meet Trevor before he went into the Army (she lived several hours away from my parents and several hours from my college, so I had to get a bus ticket and my parents had to get a hotel room to do this. We only met him once for dinner). Now they've been dating long distance for three years after a three month in-person relationship. She is in nursing school and is planning on moving across the country (literally opposite corners of the map) to live with him and is not applying to any residency programs outside of the Army base area (limiting her choices a LOT from her original goals and narrowing employment opportunities).
Olivia met Trevor on several dating apps, matched with him, but didn't really want to go out with him. He was really persistent, so her friend convinced her to go out with him. She lied about the way they met to our parents and told them they met at the gym through a mutual friend (she lied to me about this at first too and told me the truth about 3 months after they started dating). At the time, Trevor was working as a used car salesman and living at home (~45 min. away from Olivia's school in a rural area) because his sports scholarship had been dropped before his Senior year due to covid at the college he had been attending out of state. The university was unaccredited (I later did some internet stalking and found out it was accredited), so his credits would not transfer and he would have to start over. He was saving up money to attend school in state at the large college Olivia attended so he could go back to school. **Our state has crazy low tuition costs in-state and a full-tuition scholarship program for good high school GPA and SAT scores. There was also a "feeder" community college that had half the cost per credit hour that a lot of people would go to before the larger university if they didn't get in straight out of high school.**
Olivia told me that Trevor had applied to her college and not gotten in (she later told me he HAD gotten in but been unable to afford tuition). Either way, he decided to join the Army because his father had been in the Army. The Army would take his credit hours and he would be able to finish his degree during his 5 year contract or use the GI bill once he got out. **She is comparing the situation to our father, who joined the Army directly out of high school and used the GI bill to go to college after his 2 year contract because his parents wouldn't pay for school. He was a medic in the military, worked as an EMT through college, and then went to nursing school.** The original plan was that Trevor would be a Green Beret (special forces), he completed basic training and and got several months through training and moved to the secondary base in NC before failing the running portion of a physical by about 10 seconds and being dropped from the selection process. He then decided that he wanted to be a Ranger (another elite position). He got sent back to GA, then to the Ranger school base in WA (it took a couple of months before he was sent to WA). Again, he got partway through the training before failing the running portion of a physical by a few seconds. He is now not sure if he will be continuing Ranger school (failing the physical means no, but commanders may pass him anyways if they think he should continue). For a while, Trevor told Olivia that he might not stay at the base in WA if he wasn't in Ranger school and there were a variety of different bases he could be sent to, including somewhere in Italy, so she wasn't sure where to look for jobs. In the past month, Trevor told Olivia that he would likely stay in WA regardless of the Ranger school results.
Through this all, Olivia has visited Trevor at the different military bases countless times, driving from as far as south FL to NC and putting over 30,000 miles on a brand new car over the course of the 1.5 years she's owned it. Before she had the car, she paid for plane tickets to see him and hotels whenever she visited. At the time, she told me that he was paying for all of these trips because he was unable to visit her, was making an income that wasn't being spent, and she was working to save for nursing school and later was living off of student loans and savings during nursing school. She later admitted to me that she had paid for almost all of the expenses except for food when they ate out together and part of a hotel room one weekend.
A few odd things (to me) between Olivia and Trevor over the course of their relationship:
About a month into their relationship, Trevor got Olivia an over $300 christmas gift. He has not gotten her anything nearly that expensive since, and hasn't sent flowers for things like her college graduation or a severe emergency surgery she had last year. I don't care about monetary value or sending flowers, but I do think it is odd that he spent so much before moving away when he ostensibly didn't have much money, but now that he has an income and military sign-on bonus, he has not spent that much again.
Trevor's father left Trevor, his siblings, and his mother, but Trevor has a hat that his father gave him that he wore often. The hat says "Red Man" across the top of a picture of a Native American man wearing a feathered headdress. He has worn this hat several times around Olivia's friends and they told him they didn't like it and that it was racist. They also asked him to not wear it when he was with them and he refused because it was special to him and his father gave it to him. Olivia then told him to stop wearing it and he eventually agreed (Olivia told me that he stopped wearing the hat after this). A few weeks after this, I facetimed Olivia and Trevor was with her. She turned the camera so I could say hello to him, and he was wearing the hat. I talked to Olivia about this later and she told me that that was the first time he'd worn the hat in a while and it wasn't a big deal. Olivia has always been liberal and never racist, and I am uncomfortable that she was okay with him not only wearing the hat, but being with him while he had it on.
They dated for a little over 3 months in person before he joined the military (recently, Olivia told me that they actually met several months before she told everyone about him and that they actually dated for 6 months before he left). For the next two months in basic training, he was only able to use the phone for 15 minutes total once a week to talk to family and her. Throughout the different training programs he has completed he had sporadic and limited access to phones to communicate, and only in the past 6 months he has had access to his phone to facetime, text, and call (but sometimes he goes for a week or two without phone access). Olivia told me that they wrote letters during the time he didn't have consistent phone access. **I don't think that this is odd, I understand the military limits phone usage, etc., but I don't think they have been able to have an "average" long-distance relationship**
Last year, Olivia drove to GA to visit Trevor the weekend before Valentine's day. He had plans for them to take a pottery class, go on a hike, and have dinner at a nice restaurant. The day she got there, Trevor's barracks had their off-base privileges revoked because one of the guys had contraband. She would still be able to visit him on base though. Somehow, Trevor was able to get off base for long periods of time to her hotel, but unable to do the other activities he had planned for them.
In the past year, Olivia told me that she and Trevor were going to immediately marry when she got to WA so that they could move in together because they had to be married to live together anywhere. I and our dad- who was in the military- told her several times that this was not true, but she insisted it was. Then, his barracks were given an allowance to live off base in apartments because the barracks were being renovated/ rebuilt, so she backed off on the idea of getting married immediately after several long conversations with me. She is still insistent on moving in with Trevor, who lives with a roommate, when she moves to WA.
Some background on Olivia:
Olivia has ADHD and anxiety, and struggled particularly badly with the anxiety/ some depression after being broken up with by the boyfriend she dated before Trevor (he broke it off very abruptly, told her he just didn't love her anymore with no previous indications). Olivia is very pretty (objectively, not just because she's my sister), but had bad acne that she ended up going on accutane for at the time she started dating Trevor and was very insecure about it. She had also decided to not go to medical school, and pursue nursing instead around the same time she met Trevor. This was a very upsetting decision for her because she had been taking very hard courses and was burnt out but had told everyone she was going to be a doctor and thought that she would be letting us down by switching paths. Also around the time she started seeing Trevor, Olivia began being very cruel towards our mother (our mother had been borderline emotionally abusive in the past, but Olivia and I were both in college by then and fixing our relationships with her. She has been much better recently and Olivia and I believe that she had some mental health struggles that went unchecked that contributed). Now, several years later, Olivia told our family that she had acted like that because she was rpd by a friend of her ex-boyfriend's after her ex broke up with her. This person also gave her an STD.
I always believe people who say they have been S A'd, and we believed Olivia when she first told us, but some things have come to light that make me and my family question that. Right after Olivia and her ex broke up, Olivia told our cousin that she had gone out with one of his friends and had revenge/ breakup sex with him because he had also been dumped recently. Once my cousin told me this, I remembered that Olivia had told me about a guy she had a one night stand with after she was dumped. She showed me a picture of him, talked about how cute he was, etc. (no distress whatsoever). I know sometimes people behave in ways you wouldn't expect when a traumatic event occurs to them, but I really don't understand how or why Olivia would brag about this guy if he really did S A her.
Three months ago, Olivia was arrested for stealing a set of sheets from Walmart (incidentally, right before Trevor came to visit her on leave). She used the self check-out and only bought a small $5 item and the sheets. She held both in one hand and scanned each side because she had a cut on the other hand and was holding her wallet with it. She saw a 5 in front of the total number and thought it looked right because the total should have been about $50, paid, didn't get a receipt, and walked out. An employee at the door asked to see a receipt, which Olivia didn't have, so she pulled up her transaction history on her phone to show she had paid. At this point, the employee called the police and took Olivia into an office, where she was questioned and charged with shoplifting. (Olivia can get very emotional and probably got upset when the police questioned her, which may have led them to believe she was lying). Luckily, Olivia has managed to get the charges expunged, but the process is still ongoing. Because of her ADHD, if anyone genuinely made this mistake, I would believe it from her, but Olivia has been improving a lot on organization and being more attentive recently. It is extremely uncharacteristic of her to steal- she was honest to a fault as kids- she would break down from guilt and admit things to our parents that we would have gotten away with if she hadn't said anything.
Right now, my parents have met Trevor twice in person, and I've met him once in person and several times in passing over facetime. I personally don't think that Trevor seems to keep up with my sister or that they make each other shine, and that opinion is shared with family friends and family that have met Trevor. Olivia doesn't mention Trevor in front of our parents often because his name has become a topic of contention and argument between them. My parents don't think Trevor is right for Olivia. She has almost 2 college degrees and plans to become a nurse practitioner in the future, and he hasn't finished college and doesn't seem to have any drive to do so. Olivia is also well traveled and enjoys going to museums, concerts, etc., while Trevor has lived in rural FL his whole life (this is not Trevor's fault, and I don't think he is a lesser person because of it, but I don't see a lot of common ground between them). Trevor has not seemed very well spoken when I have talked to him and I just don't see a lot of qualities in him that Olivia values.
If you've gotten this far, I just don't know what to do. Olivia and my parents have a huge rift in their relationship right now and any mention of Trevor, with her around or not, explodes into a huge argument, discussion, or just icy silence. I want Olivia to be able to talk to me about him, and we are able to discuss things much better than she is with our parents. My parents have also started asking me about Olivia and Trevor because they know Olivia shares more with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to betray Olivia's trust, but I'm also very worried about her. I know I can't control her actions and I'm having a really hard time trying to balance supporting Olivia but not supporting the relationship (I'm not going to lie to her about how I feel, but I don't want her to feel alienated or unloved by our family, because that is NOT the case). I also think that Olivia is romanticizing the fact that our parents don't like him because my father's parents had a rift with him over our mother when we were very young (this is a whole other story, but basically, his parents always favored his sister, his sister got (I think) jealous when he did well for himself and married my mother, who his parents initially likes, and she made up rumors/lies about my mother that turned his parents against her (this was way before our mother's suspected mental health struggles, which occured when Olivia and I were in middle/high school).
Please share any thoughts you have on the situation (am I reading too into things, is this not as bad as I think it is?), and any advice you have on navigating the relationships.
Tl;dr My sister's boyfriend lied about the circumstances of him dropping out of college and joining the military. Now I think he's lying about not making it through training for two different special/ elite forces. My sister has significantly changed her behavior and I think she may have lied about a significant traumatic event to our family. Now she is planning on moving across the country to him and moving in immediately. Our entire family doesn't like him and we're worried about her. How do I support her but not her relationship?

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Subject - International Day of Families

The International Day of Families is annually held on May 15, in order to celebrate the importance of families, people, society and cultures around the world.

This day aims to raise awareness of issues relating to families across the globe, as families are the foundation of a society.

With Best Regards,
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This is a really long story with lots of context so I'll do my best to organize it into current situation, then his backstory and hers. I'm also not using real names or specific locations for any of this to try and keep this private. This also has some contradicting stories and because of how their relationship is structured relies mostly on information I have gotten from my sister, so I'm telling you the story I got from her first and then adding in what I've found out. I'll try to tell this as unbiased as I can but it's been a huge issue in my family for a long time now and that's a little difficult for me to do.
My(20F) sister (Olivia, 24F) has been dating this guy (Trevor, 25M) since 2021. When they started dating, she talked about him fairly often, sent a few pictures of them, ect., but then after a month she stopped mentioning him/ was cagey when we (me and my mom mostly) asked how he was so we assumed it just hadn't worked out. Then two months later she insisted that my parents (54F and 56M) and I all come to visit her college to meet Trevor before he went into the Army (she lived several hours away from my parents and several hours from my college, so I had to get a bus ticket and my parents had to get a hotel room to do this. We only met him once for dinner). Now they've been dating long distance for three years after a three month in-person relationship. She is in nursing school and is planning on moving across the country (literally opposite corners of the map) to live with him and is not applying to any residency programs outside of the Army base area (limiting her choices a LOT from her original goals and narrowing employment opportunities).
Olivia met Trevor on several dating apps, matched with him, but didn't really want to go out with him. He was really persistent, so her friend convinced her to go out with him. She lied about the way they met to our parents and told them they met at the gym through a mutual friend (she lied to me about this at first too and told me the truth about 3 months after they started dating). At the time, Trevor was working as a used car salesman and living at home (~45 min. away from Olivia's school in a rural area) because his sports scholarship had been dropped before his Senior year due to covid at the college he had been attending out of state. The university was unaccredited (I later did some internet stalking and found out it was accredited), so his credits would not transfer and he would have to start over. He was saving up money to attend school in state at the large college Olivia attended so he could go back to school. **Our state has crazy low tuition costs in-state and a full-tuition scholarship program for good high school GPA and SAT scores. There was also a "feeder" community college that had half the cost per credit hour that a lot of people would go to before the larger university if they didn't get in straight out of high school.**
Olivia told me that Trevor had applied to her college and not gotten in (she later told me he HAD gotten in but been unable to afford tuition). Either way, he decided to join the Army because his father had been in the Army. The Army would take his credit hours and he would be able to finish his degree during his 5 year contract or use the GI bill once he got out. **She is comparing the situation to our father, who joined the Army directly out of high school and used the GI bill to go to college after his 2 year contract because his parents wouldn't pay for school. He was a medic in the military, worked as an EMT through college, and then went to nursing school.** The original plan was that Trevor would be a Green Beret (special forces, linking the training pipeline here: https://www.reddit.com/greenberets/comments/xwdbta/current_sf_pipeline_correct_me_if_im_wrong/ ), he completed basic training and and got several months through the NC training before failing the running portion of a physical by about 10 seconds and being dropped from the selection process. He then decided that he wanted to be a Ranger (another elite position). He got sent back to GA, then to the Ranger school base in WA (it took a couple of months before he was sent to WA). Again, he got partway through the training before failing the running portion of a physical by a few seconds. He is now not sure if he will be continuing Ranger school (failing the physical means no, but commanders may pass him anyways if they think he should continue). For a while, Trevor told Olivia that he might not stay at the base in WA if he wasn't in Ranger school and there were a variety of different bases he could be sent to, including somewhere in Italy, so she wasn't sure where to look for jobs. In the past month, Trevor told Olivia that he would likely stay in WA regardless of the Ranger school results.
Through this all, Olivia has visited Trevor at the different military bases countless times, driving from as far as south FL to NC and putting over 30,000 miles on a brand new car over the course of the 1.5 years she's owned it. Before she had the car, she paid for plane tickets to see him and hotels whenever she visited. At the time, she told me that he was paying for all of these trips because he was unable to visit her, was making an income that wasn't being spent, and she was working to save for nursing school and later was living off of student loans and savings during nursing school. She later admitted to me that she had paid for almost all of the expenses except for food when they ate out together and part of a hotel room one weekend.
A few odd things (to me) between Olivia and Trevor over the course of their relationship:
About a month into their relationship, Trevor got Olivia an over $300 christmas gift. He has not gotten her anything nearly that expensive since, and hasn't sent flowers for things like her college graduation or a severe emergency surgery she had last year. I don't care about monetary value or sending flowers, but I do think it is odd that he spent so much before moving away when he ostensibly didn't have much money, but now that he has an income and military sign-on bonus, he has not spent that much again.
Trevor's father left Trevor, his siblings, and his mother, but Trevor has a hat that his father gave him that he wore often. The hat says "Red Man" across the top of a picture of a Native American man wearing a feathered headdress. He has worn this hat several times around Olivia's friends and they told him they didn't like it and that it was racist. They also asked him to not wear it when he was with them and he refused because it was special to him and his father gave it to him. Olivia then told him to stop wearing it and he eventually agreed (Olivia told me that he stopped wearing the hat after this). A few weeks after this, I facetimed Olivia and Trevor was with her. She turned the camera so I could say hello to him, and he was wearing the hat. I talked to Olivia about this later and she told me that that was the first time he'd worn the hat in a while and it wasn't a big deal. Olivia has always been liberal and never racist, and I am uncomfortable that she was okay with him not only wearing the hat, but being with him while he had it on.
They dated for a little over 3 months in person before he joined the military (recently, Olivia told me that they actually met several months before she told everyone about him and that they actually dated for 6 months before he left). For the next two months in basic training, he was only able to use the phone for 15 minutes total once a week to talk to family and her. Throughout the different training programs he has completed he had sporadic and limited access to phones to communicate, and only in the past 6 months he has had access to his phone to facetime, text, and call (but sometimes he goes for a week or two without phone access). Olivia told me that they wrote letters during the time he didn't have consistent phone access. **I don't think that this is odd, I understand the military limits phone usage, etc., but I don't think they have been able to have an "average" long-distance relationship**
Last year, Olivia drove to GA to visit Trevor the weekend before Valentine's day. He had plans for them to take a pottery class, go on a hike, and have dinner at a nice restaurant. The day she got there, Trevor's barracks had their off-base privileges revoked because one of the guys had contraband. She would still be able to visit him on base though. Somehow, Trevor was able to get off base for long periods of time to her hotel, but unable to do the other activities he had planned for them.
In the past year, Olivia told me that she and Trevor were going to immediately marry when she got to WA so that they could move in together because they had to be married to live together anywhere. I and our dad- who was in the military- told her several times that this was not true, but she insisted it was. Then, his barracks were given an allowance to live off base in apartments because the barracks were being renovated/ rebuilt, so she backed off on the idea of getting married immediately after several long conversations with me. She is still insistent on moving in with Trevor, who lives with a roommate, when she moves to WA.
Some background on Olivia:
Olivia has ADHD and anxiety, and struggled particularly badly with the anxiety/ some depression after being broken up with by the boyfriend she dated before Trevor (he broke it off very abruptly, told her he just didn't love her anymore with no previous indications). Olivia is very pretty (objectively, not just because she's my sister), but had bad acne that she ended up going on accutane for at the time she started dating Trevor and was very insecure about it. She had also decided to not go to medical school, and pursue nursing instead around the same time she met Trevor. This was a very upsetting decision for her because she had been taking very hard courses and was burnt out but had told everyone she was going to be a doctor and thought that she would be letting us down by switching paths. Also around the time she started seeing Trevor, Olivia began being very cruel towards our mother (our mother had been borderline emotionally abusive in the past, but Olivia and I were both in college by then and fixing our relationships with her. She has been much better recently and Olivia and I believe that she had some mental health struggles that went unchecked that contributed). Now, several years later, Olivia told our family that she had acted like that because she was rpd by a friend of her ex-boyfriend's after her ex broke up with her. This person also gave her an STD.
I always believe people who say they have been S A'd, and we believed Olivia when she first told us, but some things have come to light that make me and my family question that. Right after Olivia and her ex broke up, Olivia told our cousin that she had gone out with one of his friends and had revenge/ breakup sex with him because he had also been dumped recently. Once my cousin told me this, I remembered that Olivia had told me about a guy she had a one night stand with after she was dumped. She showed me a picture of him, talked about how cute he was, etc. (no distress whatsoever). I know sometimes people behave in ways you wouldn't expect when a traumatic event occurs to them, but I really don't understand how or why Olivia would brag about this guy if he really did S A her.
Three months ago, Olivia was arrested for stealing a set of sheets from Walmart (incidentally, right before Trevor came to visit her on leave). She used the self check-out and only bought a small $5 item and the sheets. She held both in one hand and scanned each side because she had a cut on the other hand and was holding her wallet with it. She saw a 5 in front of the total number and thought it looked right because the total should have been about $50, paid, didn't get a receipt, and walked out. An employee at the door asked to see a receipt, which Olivia didn't have, so she pulled up her transaction history on her phone to show she had paid. At this point, the employee called the police and took Olivia into an office, where she was questioned and charged with shoplifting. (Olivia can get very emotional and probably got upset when the police questioned her, which may have led them to believe she was lying). Luckily, Olivia has managed to get the charges expunged, but the process is still ongoing. Because of her ADHD, if anyone genuinely made this mistake, I would believe it from her, but Olivia has been improving a lot on organization and being more attentive recently. It is extremely uncharacteristic of her to steal- she was honest to a fault as kids- she would break down from guilt and admit things to our parents that we would have gotten away with if she hadn't said anything.
Right now, my parents have met Trevor twice in person, and I've met him once in person and several times in passing over facetime. I personally don't think that Trevor seems to keep up with my sister or that they make each other shine, and that opinion is shared with family friends and family that have met Trevor. Olivia doesn't mention Trevor in front of our parents often because his name has become a topic of contention and argument between them. My parents don't think Trevor is right for Olivia. She has almost 2 college degrees and plans to become a nurse practitioner in the future, and he hasn't finished college and doesn't seem to have any drive to do so. Olivia is also well traveled and enjoys going to museums, concerts, etc., while Trevor has lived in rural FL his whole life (this is not Trevor's fault, and I don't think he is a lesser person because of it, but I don't see a lot of common ground between them). Trevor has not seemed very well spoken when I have talked to him and I just don't see a lot of qualities in him that Olivia values.
If you've gotten this far, I just don't know what to do. Olivia and my parents have a huge rift in their relationship right now and any mention of Trevor, with her around or not, explodes into a huge argument, discussion, or just icy silence. I want Olivia to be able to talk to me about him, and we are able to discuss things much better than she is with our parents. My parents have also started asking me about Olivia and Trevor because they know Olivia shares more with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to betray Olivia's trust, but I'm also very worried about her. I know I can't control her actions and I'm having a really hard time trying to balance supporting Olivia but not supporting the relationship (I'm not going to lie to her about how I feel, but I don't want her to feel alienated or unloved by our family, because that is NOT the case). I also think that Olivia is romanticizing the fact that our parents don't like him because my father's parents had a rift with him over our mother when we were very young (this is a whole other story, but basically, his parents always favored his sister, his sister got (I think) jealous when he did well for himself and married my mother, who his parents initially likes, and she made up rumors/lies about my mother that turned his parents against her (this was way before our mother's suspected mental health struggles, which occured when Olivia and I were in middle/high school).
Please share any thoughts you have on the situation (am I reading too into things, is this not as bad as I think it is?), and any advice you have on navigating the relationships.

This is a really long story with lots of context so I'll do my best to organize it into current situation, then his backstory and hers. I'm also not using real names or specific locations for any of this to try and keep this private. This also has some contradicting stories and because of how their relationship is structured relies mostly on information I have gotten from my sister, so I'm telling you the story I got from her first and then adding in what I've found out. I'll try to tell this as unbiased as I can but it's been a huge issue in my family for a long time now and that's a little difficult for me to do.
My sister (Olivia, 24F) has been dating this guy (Trevor, 25M) since 2021. When they started dating, she talked about him fairly often, sent a few pictures of them, ect., but then after a month she stopped mentioning him/ was cagey when we (me and my mom mostly) asked how he was so we assumed it just hadn't worked out. Then two months later she insisted that my parents and I all come to visit her college to meet Trevor before he went into the Army (she lived several hours away from my parents and several hours from my college, so I had to get a bus ticket and my parents had to get a hotel room to do this. We only met him once for dinner). Now they've been dating long distance for three years after a three month in-person relationship. She is in nursing school and is planning on moving across the country (literally opposite corners of the map) to live with him and is not applying to any residency programs outside of the Army base area (limiting her choices a LOT from her original goals and narrowing employment opportunities).
Olivia met Trevor on several dating apps, matched with him, but didn't really want to go out with him. He was really persistent, so her friend convinced her to go out with him. She lied about the way they met to our parents and told them they met at the gym through a mutual friend (she lied to me about this at first too and told me the truth about 3 months after they started dating). At the time, Trevor was working as a used car salesman and living at home (~45 min. away from Olivia's school in a rural area) because his sports scholarship had been dropped before his Senior year due to covid at the college he had been attending out of state. The university was unaccredited (I later did some internet stalking and found out it was accredited), so his credits would not transfer and he would have to start over. He was saving up money to attend school in state at the large college Olivia attended so he could go back to school. **Our state has crazy low tuition costs in-state and a full-tuition scholarship program for good high school GPA and SAT scores. There was also a "feeder" community college that had half the cost per credit hour that a lot of people would go to before the larger university if they didn't get in straight out of high school.**
Olivia told me that Trevor had applied to her college and not gotten in (she later told me he HAD gotten in but been unable to afford tuition). Either way, he decided to join the Army because his father had been in the Army. The Army would take his credit hours and he would be able to finish his degree during his 5 year contract or use the GI bill once he got out. **She is comparing the situation to our father, who joined the Army directly out of high school and used the GI bill to go to college after his 2 year contract because his parents wouldn't pay for school. He was a medic in the military, worked as an EMT through college, and then went to nursing school.** The original plan was that Trevor would be a Green Beret (special forces, linking the training pipeline here: https://www.reddit.com/greenberets/comments/xwdbta/current_sf_pipeline_correct_me_if_im_wrong/ ), he completed basic training and and got several months through the NC training before failing the running portion of a physical by about 10 seconds and being dropped from the selection process. He then decided that he wanted to be a Ranger (another elite position). He got sent back to GA, then to the Ranger school base in WA (it took a couple of months before he was sent to WA). Again, he got partway through the training before failing the running portion of a physical by a few seconds. He is now not sure if he will be continuing Ranger school (failing the physical means no, but commanders may pass him anyways if they think he should continue). For a while, Trevor told Olivia that he might not stay at the base in WA if he wasn't in Ranger school and there were a variety of different bases he could be sent to, including somewhere in Italy, so she wasn't sure where to look for jobs. In the past month, Trevor told Olivia that he would likely stay in WA regardless of the Ranger school results.
Through this all, Olivia has visited Trevor at the different military bases countless times, driving from as far as south FL to NC and putting over 30,000 miles on a brand new car over the course of the 1.5 years she's owned it. Before she had the car, she paid for plane tickets to see him and hotels whenever she visited. At the time, she told me that he was paying for all of these trips because he was unable to visit her, was making an income that wasn't being spent, and she was working to save for nursing school and later was living off of student loans and savings during nursing school. She later admitted to me that she had paid for almost all of the expenses except for food when they ate out together and part of a hotel room one weekend.
A few odd things (to me) between Olivia and Trevor over the course of their relationship:
About a month into their relationship, Trevor got Olivia an over $300 christmas gift. He has not gotten her anything nearly that expensive since, and hasn't sent flowers for things like her college graduation or a severe emergency surgery she had last year. I don't care about monetary value or sending flowers, but I do think it is odd that he spent so much before moving away when he ostensibly didn't have much money, but now that he has an income and military sign-on bonus, he has not spent that much again.
Trevor's father left Trevor, his siblings, and his mother, but Trevor has a hat that his father gave him that he wore often. The hat says "Red Man" across the top of a picture of a Native American man wearing a feathered headdress. He has worn this hat several times around Olivia's friends and they told him they didn't like it and that it was racist. They also asked him to not wear it when he was with them and he refused because it was special to him and his father gave it to him. Olivia then told him to stop wearing it and he eventually agreed (Olivia told me that he stopped wearing the hat after this). A few weeks after this, I facetimed Olivia and Trevor was with her. She turned the camera so I could say hello to him, and he was wearing the hat. I talked to Olivia about this later and she told me that that was the first time he'd worn the hat in a while and it wasn't a big deal. Olivia has always been liberal and never racist, and I am uncomfortable that she was okay with him not only wearing the hat, but being with him while he had it on.
They dated for a little over 3 months in person before he joined the military (recently, Olivia told me that they actually met several months before she told everyone about him and that they actually dated for 6 months before he left). For the next two months in basic training, he was only able to use the phone for 15 minutes total once a week to talk to family and her. Throughout the different training programs he has completed he had sporadic and limited access to phones to communicate, and only in the past 6 months he has had access to his phone to facetime, text, and call (but sometimes he goes for a week or two without phone access). Olivia told me that they wrote letters during the time he didn't have consistent phone access. **I don't think that this is odd, I understand the military limits phone usage, etc., but I don't think they have been able to have an "average" long-distance relationship**
Last year, Olivia drove to GA to visit Trevor the weekend before Valentine's day. He had plans for them to take a pottery class, go on a hike, and have dinner at a nice restaurant. The day she got there, Trevor's barracks had their off-base privileges revoked because one of the guys had contraband. She would still be able to visit him on base though. Somehow, Trevor was able to get off base for long periods of time to her hotel, but unable to do the other activities he had planned for them.
In the past year, Olivia told me that she and Trevor were going to immediately marry when she got to WA so that they could move in together because they had to be married to live together anywhere. I and our dad- who was in the military- told her several times that this was not true, but she insisted it was. Then, his barracks were given an allowance to live off base in apartments because the barracks were being renovated/ rebuilt, so she backed off on the idea of getting married immediately after several long conversations with me. She is still insistent on moving in with Trevor, who lives with a roommate, when she moves to WA.
Some background on Olivia:
Olivia has ADHD and anxiety, and struggled particularly badly with the anxiety/ some depression after being broken up with by the boyfriend she dated before Trevor (he broke it off very abruptly, told her he just didn't love her anymore with no previous indications). Olivia is very pretty (objectively, not just because she's my sister), but had bad acne that she ended up going on accutane for at the time she started dating Trevor and was very insecure about it. She had also decided to not go to medical school, and pursue nursing instead around the same time she met Trevor. This was a very upsetting decision for her because she had been taking very hard courses and was burnt out but had told everyone she was going to be a doctor and thought that she would be letting us down by switching paths. Also around the time she started seeing Trevor, Olivia began being very cruel towards our mother (our mother had been borderline emotionally abusive in the past, but Olivia and I were both in college by then and fixing our relationships with her. She has been much better recently and Olivia and I believe that she had some mental health struggles that went unchecked that contributed). Now, several years later, Olivia told our family that she had acted like that because she was raped by a friend of her ex-boyfriend's after her ex broke up with her. This person also gave her an STD.
I always believe people who say they have been sexually assaulted, abused, or harassed, and we believed Olivia when she first told us, but some things have come to light that make me and my family question that. Right after Olivia and her ex broke up, Olivia told our cousin that she had gone out with one of his friends and had revenge/ breakup sex with him because he had also been dumped recently. Once my cousin told me this, I remembered that Olivia had told me about a guy she had a one night stand with after she was dumped. She showed me a picture of him, talked about how cute he was, etc. (no distress whatsoever). I know sometimes people behave in ways you wouldn't expect when a traumatic event occurs to them, but I really don't understand how or why Olivia would brag about this guy if he really did sexually assault her.
Three months ago, Olivia was arrested for stealing a set of sheets from Walmart. She used the self check-out and only bought a small $5 item and the sheets. She held both in one hand and scanned each side because she had a cut on the other hand and was holding her wallet with it. She saw a 5 in front of the total number and thought it looked right because the total should have been about $50, paid, didn't get a receipt, and walked out. An employee at the door asked to see a receipt, which Olivia didn't have, so she pulled up her transaction history on her phone to show she had paid. At this point, the employee called the police and took Olivia into an office, where she was questioned and charged with shoplifting. (Olivia can get very emotional and probably got upset when the police questioned her, which may have led them to believe she was lying). Luckily, Olivia has managed to get the charges expunged, but the process is still ongoing. Because of her ADHD, if anyone genuinely made this mistake, I would believe it from her, but Olivia has been improving a lot on organization and being more attentive recently. It is extremely uncharacteristic of her to steal- she was honest to a fault as kids- she would break down from guilt and admit things to our parents that we would have gotten away with if she hadn't said anything.
Right now, my parents have met Trevor twice in person, and I've met him once in person and several times in passing over facetime. I personally don't think that Trevor seems to keep up with my sister or that they make each other shine, and that opinion is shared with family friends and family that have met Trevor. Olivia doesn't mention Trevor in front of our parents often because his name has become a topic of contention and argument between them. My parents don't think Trevor is right for Olivia. She has almost 2 college degrees and plans to become a nurse practitioner in the future, and he hasn't finished college and doesn't seem to have any drive to do so. Olivia is also well traveled and enjoys going to museums, concerts, etc., while Trevor has lived in rural FL his whole life (this is not Trevor's fault, and I don't think he is a lesser person because of it, but I don't see a lot of common ground between them). Trevor has not seemed very well spoken when I have talked to him and I just don't see a lot of qualities in him that Olivia values.
If you've gotten this far, I just don't know what to do. Olivia and my parents have a huge rift in their relationship right now and any mention of Trevor, with her around or not, explodes into a huge argument, discussion, or just icy silence. I want Olivia to be able to talk to me about him, and we are able to discuss things much better than she is with our parents. My parents have also started asking me about Olivia and Trevor because they know Olivia shares more with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to betray Olivia's trust, but I'm also very worried about her. I know I can't control her actions and I'm having a really hard time trying to balance supporting Olivia but not supporting the relationship (I'm not going to lie to her about how I feel, but I don't want her to feel alienated or unloved by our family, because that is NOT the case). I also think that Olivia is romanticizing the fact that our parents don't like him because my father's parents had a rift with him over our mother when we were very young (this is a whole other story, but basically, his parents always favored his sister, his sister got (I think) jealous when he did well for himself and married my mother, who his parents initially likes, and she made up rumors/lies about my mother that turned his parents against her (this was way before our mother's suspected mental health struggles, which occured when Olivia and I were in middle/high school).
Please share any thoughts you have on the situation (am I reading too into things, is this not as bad as I think it is?), and any advice you have on navigating the relationships.

Men

Additions	Indicated Return	Graduated	Portal	Probable Return
Overton (from Drake)	McMillan	W. Washington	L. Washington (to Pacific)	Francis
Jazz Henderson Jr (OC Faith Family)	Walton	Toussaint	Lindsey (to Murray St)	Yalaho
Federiko Federiko (from Pitt)	Cambridge	-	Isaacs (to Creighton)	-
Elijah Hawkins (from Minnesota)	Darrion	-	D’Marion (to High Point)	-
-	-	-	Jennings (to OKST)	-
-	-	-	Steffe (to Southern Illinois)	-

Lady Raiders Look to be wrapped up

Additions	Indicated Return	Graduated	Portal	Probable Return
Kalysta Martin (Providence HS San Antonio)	Jazz Shavers	McKenney	Chevalier (to Houston)	Freelon
Jaylinn Bristow (from Iowa St)	-	Jazz Lewis	Jazion (to Arizona State)	Mora
Ivana Krajina (from Odessa College)	-	-	Saga (To Fresno St)	Jada
Maya Peat (from Arkansas-Pine Bluff)	-	-	Arike (To MTSU)	Magot
Denae Fritz (From Baylor)	-	-	Jojo	Merritt
Adlee Blacklock (From Oregon State)	-	-	-	Maupin
Sara Sanogo (From Odessa College)	-	-	-	L Johnson

Growing up, Christianity was a cornerstone of my life. My family was deeply rooted in the faith, and Sunday mornings were always reserved for church. Verses like John 3:16 were more than just words; they were the foundation of my understanding of life.
Every now and then, I would think back to my childhood and the sense of peace I used to feel in church. I would remember the verses that once brought me comfort, like Philippians 4:13.
Now at 23, I'm at a crossroads. I want to believe in Christ again, to find that sense of peace and purpose that I once had. The verse John 14:6 keeps coming to mind. I'm not sure if my journey is about finding the perfect faith but about seeking a relationship with Christ.
In this season of rediscovery, I'm reminded of Romans 8:28. I'm learning to trust that my path, with all its twists and turns, is leading me to a deeper understanding of Christ.
(Sorry for all the biblical verses)