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For context, I am a software engineer, used plenty Android smartphone in the past, and I'm generally considered a tech savvy
I was an early adopter of Nothing Phone (1) and Nothing Ear (1)
Great hardware/price ratio The software design is the most pretty I've used
However, the software (Nothing OS) UX is one of the worst I've used (still better than MIUI though)
Here are the things I'm not satisfied with compared to my prior general Android use, in no particular order: Xiaomi, Redmi, Samsung, Pixel, Poco, One Plus
Some of those issues are happening with other Android phones, but I'll put them anyway

• Bad camera third-party use performance (generally slow and makes bad looking videos and photos outside of the native camera app)
• Bad camera app performance (clicking early on the capture button sometimes make the photo be displayed in the gallery preview at the bottom, but you realize soon after it was not saved and you lost those memory footage forever)
• WhatsApp picture random performance (usually slow, sometimes just not responding and needing an app reboot after capture)
• Instagram stories bad performance (making very low-fps and poor looking videos and photos ; random decrease if any process is running in background)
• Capricious fingerprint sensor
• Passkeys broken and unusable since 2.5.4 A (it's been a few months since they told me the devs will be releasing the fix in the next update; it was, in fact, not fixed in the next update, and still not fixed as of the date I'm posting this)
• Battery random over-discharge (hard to know from which background app / process it comes from)
• Buggy native screen modes (Night light / Extra dim / bedtime mode), although seems to be fixed since 2.5.4 A
• Sometimes buggy media control above the notification center (sometimes slow, causing double click, showing multiple media from long-ago closed apps)
• Bad multiple-word text selector behaviors (feels way too slow and sometimes scroll at the same time ; options sometimes disappear after selection, really annoying. Also the zoom display is too small and sometimes doesn't disappear after use, it actually happened right now as I tested it)
• Random "charge steadily overnight" activation (sometimes work, sometimes the phone is already at 100% in the middle of the night)
• Gliph interface innovations has been abandoned for the NP1, should have known it was a gimmick I guess
• Heating when calling (common for unoptimized android phones)
• Native (android) UI reactiveness is not good enough and pretty underwhelming compared to hardware specs (opening notifications, switching apps from swipe on bottom button)
• Trash-tier Bluetooth Calling Mode sound and microphone (I made a post a long time ago about that). That is a general Android problem but I think can be overriden with a layer such as Nothing OS.
• Personal feeling of abandonment since Nothing Phone (2) release

The general software really doesn't feel like it has been optimized enough In my experience, an old pixel phone with undeniably worse hardware specs feels more performant for day-to-day tasks
That's a pity because I trusted them as an early adopter, and them ignoring those issues when I reported them and under-delivered their fix promises will make me rethink buying from Nothing again

So, it's a bit of a longer story but I'm really going out of my mind trying to understand how to go about this.
My boyfriend (28M) and myself (28F) have been together for almost three years now. We met through a mutual friend and immediately connected, starting to date exclusively only a few days after. Things were fine in the beginning as we bonded over limited shared interest (and when I say limited, I really do mean LIMITED to two HP and LOTR, and nothing else in the hobbies area) and each other's ambition and determination to pursue our goals.
He was attracted to me as I was a bit unusual compared to his previous GFs, where I had studied abroad on a scholarship, travelled around the world, at 25 when we met had a stable job (consulting) bought an apartment, etc. Whereas he was at the time unemployed, had never held a job, and was pursuing his PhD in a field in humanities. What attracted me to him was that he was unapologetically himself, and seemed like someone determined to pursue his goals (one of the things we had in common as I said before).
But, soon after, we started fighting. And the fights would start with either me having said something that was not received well (e.g. one evening after days od being overworked I said I wasn't feeling horny and couldn't remember the last time I felt horny, and he exploded that it was horrible of me to have said so given that I have a boyfriend), or him claiming I do not give him enough attention (because I wouldn't text much while at work or wouldn't say "I love you" several times per day), or after having asked him to give me space to process and to not love bomb me, I was told that he doesn't get to be his authentic self, etc.
We sort of resolved all these, but the traces continued into the relationship. When I wanted or needed to travel for other leisure or business, he would come up with issues that suddenly needed resolution prior to the trip. After a while raised that as issue, he stopped doing it before the trip, but then after every single trip there would be something that was a problem (on the lines of lack of affection , communication, my appreciation of something, etc). If I was with friends I'd be asked to text during the outing. If I didn't text, he would then get passive-aggressive with his texts completely changing the style of communication. He even, one night, told me that in order to text me "good night" we'd actively have to be texting. This just left me baffled because it made me feel like I had to earn niceness and courtesy?
When I went on my first business trip after we started dating, I had a dinner with a male colleague who was also visiting the location from another office, and my BF had a jealousy tantrum demanding to know why I went with the guy, whether I was texting him, how long we had spent together, on the premise that my BF had "the right to know" and even asking for evidence of what I had texted the guy (legit time and address of the place as we were the only two foreigners in that city).
At one point, he said I never want to travel with him, so I saved up some money and organized a week-long trip to the seaside during the summer. I even had my parents drive us back and forth so we wouldn't have to spend 10 hours on the bus, each way. During the trip, we repeatedly fought over my behavior not being expressionate enough, or my tone being too cold, my voice too loud, including over hy I hadn't orgasmed during sex right before we were supposed to go to dinner with my parents. I basically begged him not to make a scene in front of them and to go to dinner as if nothing had happened (because he wanted not to go out of spite).
The last thing that kind of did it for me was when I started talking about him moving in with me (he has lived with his parents his whole life, whereas I live in my apartment, close to my parents but still separate). He responded to it by saying he absolutely hates the neighborhood I live in (it's actually a newly constructed neighborhood, not a ghetto), that he finds everything ugly and disgusting, that he could never live there and that we could only live together in an area of the city which he likes (which tbh he could never afford an apartment in, so I'd basically have to cover the cost).
One last thing to consider is that whenever I think things are fine, he comes back claiming lack of time spent together, affection, attention or something. What he demands of me, I find too much, to the point of getting into depressive episodes.
He has tried to be caring and supportive, and when I have to work late, he tries not to bother. But the fact is also that a few weeks later, he will usually come to me saying how he has put in so much effort for me and how that was straining for him.
Idk how to TL/DR this, so thanks to anyone who manages to read it all. I will attempt though.
TL/DR attempt: GF wants to break up over seemingly toxic situations and incompatibility. But needs help understanding if tha toxicity and incompatibility is truly the case.

---Stress Test!
We will be holding a Stress Test on Saturday, June 1st, 2024 at 1pm Eastern.
It will run for 4 hours, ending at 5pm Eastern. If we run into stability issues, we'll either immediately patch the game or, if absolutely necessary, end the playtest (with the hopes of running one at the same time the next day, or a later date if absolutely needed)
Players will be using Fresh Characters in order to test new Combat Balance and Experience Rates. Your old characters still exist and may be used again in later tests.
Early in the test, we may be limiting characters to only the Night Harbor zone, but we will bring other zones online as soon as Stress Test data is collected.
Disclaimer: This is a Technical Stress Test, and some in progress work may not be as polished as in the upcoming weekend Playtest. There is also the possibility of some lag and other stability issues.
AND THEN!
---Weekend Playtest! We will be holding a Weekend Playtest starting on Friday, June 28th, 2024 at 1pm Eastern.
The test will run until Sunday, June 30th at 11:59 pm Eastern.
The servers that will be available are:
PvE - US East 1 (Stress Test characters from the above Stress Tests will be playable here)
PvE - US East 2 (Fresh Server)
PvE - US West 1 (Fresh Server)
FFA PvP - US East (Fresh Server)
RSVP Here: https://discord.gg/8J29582N?event=1240313063417053264
How To RegisteDownload Client Register an account and log in at: https://account.monstersandmemories.com/ (If you already made an account in previous tests, just log in) Download the Patcher
Make sure you're patched on the day of the test
(Optional) Read up how to play on the Quick Start Guide https://monstersandmemories.com/quick-start-guide
We look forward to seeing you there!

If you want to see the progression it’s in my post history. Second picture shows the before and 3 days, and 3 week update. Doctor was Dr Dahan in Reno, NV and was just under $4000.
Overall I’m still super happy with it, I am so much more confident now! Before I hated how uneven and lumpy my lips were (they were like that even before filler). I got filler and it helped with volume, but couldn’t fix the unevenness. The surgeon measured and my right side was 0.5cm lower than my left.
I had a setback literally on the 1 month date, I mentioned in previous posts that my smile hurt on my right side and it was red, but I thought it was just muscle healing. Turns out my body rejected the internal sutures and I had some spitting out. I got them trimmed, but didn’t see the doctor because I was in a rush (bad idea). 3 days later I had a bump, it popped and it turned out it was a stitch abscess, a rare complication. It was gross, but the pain relief was immediate. My amazing doctor responded to my call within 5 minutes and called in new antibiotics and went over what to do, it was very reassuring. He said in all his years it’s only the second one he’s seen.
I’ve been on antibiotics since then and paused the scar cream to keep neosporin on it. The redness is now almost completely gone and the scar is not visible. The only visible part is the tiny scabs from the abscess and the spitting stitches. Other than that setback, it was really smooth. I still would do it again 100x!
The lips look big in pictures, but honestly I have an oval face and my face is so much more balanced now! Another note, the right side of my lip seems “heavier” because of the extra filler that was put in to compensate. I wanted to dissolve it all, but I’m hoping to wait it out and avoid any potential complications.
No more fillers for me!

So I sold one of my stocks on May 13 at noon and used the funds to purchase a different stock, which I’m now trying to sell. But I keep getting this message when I preview the order “a portion of the quantity being sold was purchased with the proceeds of the sale of another security in your account. Those sales proceeds have not settled and proceeds from this sale will not be available. If the order to sell these securities is executed prior to the settlement date of the previous sale, your account may be subject to a 90 day restriction.”
I looked up the rules and E*Trade says that stock sales will settle 2 days after the order is executed. It’s been 50 hours since the order was executed so I’m wondering why I’m still getting this message. I really want to sell bc the new stock I bought is volatile but I don’t want to get a 90 day restriction.
Am I okay to sell since it’s been 2 days, even tho etrade is still giving me this message in the preview order page? Is there somewhere in my account where I can see if my previous sale has settled or not?
Thanks in advance

I just really hate my poor social skills, I can’t even start to describe it. I feel like it’s only getting worse and worse as I age also. And I’m not sure how I’m ever gonna meet someone who can accept me and like me from who I am, it’s like the moment I become honest with them and share that I’m on the autistic spectrum their whole opinion about me changes instantly.
Why is it so bad to tell people I trust? It probably explains a lot of stuff they’ve been wondering about, but I’d just like to know what that would be as well although it’s hard, cause it could just help me sooo much to understand myself better and how I appear to people.
It also makes me so god damn insecure to be on the autistic spectrum that I don’t even know how to handle it anymore.
The fact that anything I say could come out totally wrong to people without I’m even aware of it makes me so anxious. I don’t really understand social cues like normal people before it’s too late. I have to analyze everything all the time and even then I still make mistakes. Most of the time I just stay silent now, but even that can be off putting to some people apparently. It’s like the things I don’t know about and therefore don’t ask about is the things that makes people annoyed with me, so how should I know?
And now this guy I’ve been dating for so long probably dumped me. It’s the closest I’ve come to an actual relationship for 3 years.
I feel like all hope for me and my social/romantic relationships are fading out and there’s nothing I can do about it.
It sucks even more to be a woman without friends or boyfriends because I feel so vulnerable alone and all people just judges me even more the fewer friends I have, thus making it nearly impossible to form new friendships for real.
Sorry for the rant…

So, I dated this girl for almost three months. We were not boyfriend and girlfriend, but we were exclusive. Things moved quickly; we saw each other 5/6 days a week (dates, hanging out with friends), and she stayed at my place 2+ times a week from the beginning. She told me I was ideal for her, and she had feelings for me, etc. Before starting dating, we were friends for 6 months.
When we had been dating for two months, her ex of 7+ years, with whom she broke up more than a year ago, reached out and basically proposed to her. She hasn't had contact with or been seeing him (I'm sure of it), but she only told me about it almost a month later.
She has reassured me that she fell for me but has been confused between her ex and me ever since. She also feels anxious about starting a new relationship. We mutually broke things almost a month ago, although she was a little bit reluctant, and I told her to clear her mind and to reach out when she was ready and if she was still interested.
I still see her at least once a week through mutual friends, and she replies to my stories from time to time (which I find weird given our situation), but we do not chat anymore. She is not bad, and I find it hard to believe everything was a lie. Throughout our time together, she was very affectionate and keen to see and hang out with me. Still, I'm not too fond of her confusion, especially since she broke up with him more than a year ago, and marriage seems like a severe decision for me. I would be more understanding if she had broken off two months ago and we had been dating for two weeks. To add context, we are both almost thirty.
Some of our mutual friends, with whom she has more contact, say she likes me. They have also caught her staring at me at parties, etc. The others say she probably doesn't want me that much, but they haven't talked to her. I'm unsure if she will reach out, but if she does, I'm not sure I want to be with her anymore. What would you do? I want to believe she is honest, but I can't find any logic in her dilemma if what she told me she felt for me when we broke things off is real.
TLDR: I dated a girl for three months, her ex proposed to her, and now she is confused

Reese Olson has been incredible so far this season. Despite all of this, he remains 1 of just 4 qualified pitchers without a win (Jack Flaherty, Austin Gomber, Michael Soroka). Here are some of his stats compared to other qualified pitchers (1IP per team game played, there are 81 qualified starters):
IP: 47.1
ERA: 2.09 (T-7th) (Only sub-2.1 ERA without multiple wins, 6 of 7 players ahead of/tied with him have 4+ wins)
WHIP: 0.99 (17th) (Only sub-1 WHIP without multiple wins, 14 of 16 players ahead of him have 3+ wins)
OBA: .192 (12th) (Only sub-.200 OBA without multiple wins, all players ahead of him have 3+ wins)
HR: (1st) (Only qualified pitcher without allowing a home run)
So what has happened in his starts that has caused him to remain winless so far? Let's take a look.

Date	Line	Exit	Final Score	Notes
4/1/24	5.2IP, 0ER, 3H, 3K	0-0 (runner on 2nd, 2 outs)	5-0 (10) (ND)	Only start in which his team won, Carson Kelly was thrown out at the plate in the 6th. Without it, Olson gets the win. 1st time Olson receives 0 run support
4/8/24	4.1IP, 6ER, 9H, 3K	2-6 (runners on 2nd and 3rd, 1 out)	4-7 (L)	Accounts for more than half of his ERs. Remove this start and his ERA is 1.04
4/15/24	6.1IP, 1ER, 6H, 8K	0-1 (runner on 1st, 1 out)	0-1 (L)	2nd time Olson receives 0 run support.
4/20/24	5.0IP, 2ER, 5H, 4K	1-4	3-4 (L)	Allowed 2 unearned runs due to errors from Javier Baez and Spencer Torkelson.
4/26/24	7.0IP, 1ER, 3H, 8K	0-1	0-8 (L)	3rd time Olson receives 0 run support.
5/3/24	5.0IP, 0ER, 2H, 5K	1-0	1-2 (ND)	Jason Foley blows it in the 9th. Without that, Olson gets the win.
5/8/24	6.0IP, 1ER, 1H, 4K	4-2	4-5 (10) (ND)	Allowed an unearned run after Andy Ibanez drops the throw to 2nd. Also, Andrew Chafin blows it in the 9th by allowing a game-tying home run with 1 out in the 9th, Chafin cannot believe that it went out. Without either, Olson gets the win.
5/14/24	8.0IP, 0ER, 3H, 6K	0-0	0-1 (10) (ND)	4th time Olson receives 0 run support

For a comparison, after 8 starts: DeGrom was 3-0 with a 1.83 ERA in 2018, Drew Hutchinson was also 3-0 with a 6.17 ERA in 2015.

Last year I started working at this hardware store, and a few months after I started there, she started up and when i first saw her I fell for jer on the spot. Im not going to go into all the details since if I do ita gonna tear me up inside, but we never dated, we came close but she backed out, and my life kimda became a living hell.
But I ended up leaving the store and goimg off to college for the last 9 months. I thougjt I had gotton over her, and simce Im on summer break now I decided to go back to my old job and get my old job back. I thought she had quit but when I went in last sunday she was there and I fell for her all over again.
Ive done a lot of thinking and over thinking since then, and after working with her on saturday I decided im not going to do anything. What I lean is im not going to try to persue a relationship, and instead im just going to try to block her out of my life, so not looking at her, not talking to her, just trying to avoid her basically.
But I know that will only go so far, I will still hear her voice on the radio at work, ill still have those memories that will plague me when I try to sleeo. So my qustion is, what can I do to get over her? So I can officially move on and put her behind me. And also please dont say "oh just find someone else" because its not that simple for me. In all the 20 years Ive been alive shes been the only woman to ever show some interest in me, ive tried dating apps in the oast but they mever work for me. So yeah please dont say that.

I'm a 29M. Frankly, a great guy. Haven't had much trouble being successful in dating in my mid-late 20s. Have had some fun, had some good GFs, but am getting burnt out.
Maybe it's still the lingering depression from losing my previous GF, who felt like one in a million, and a great match, but after some light dating the last month or so, I'm just not feeling it at all anymore.
It seems that both men and women are having a hell of a time finding decent women/men, so I won't pander with "all young women are blah blah blah". You get it already. Both sides sounds awful at this point.
I want a family, I want kids, I want to build a life with someone... but it just feels like youth culture in the US is moving in the opposite direction. Or people are so petrified by committment or commitment future or trauma, etc. I'm not religious or conservative or a prude, I'm a weirdo artist and a freethinker with a 401K and gym membership... I don't buy into this anti-family, self absorbed, the world is ending BS.
And yet, the rhetoric, attitudes and personalities are so abysmal around me, I feel like I've been won over to the culture and just want to fly solo now, abandon my desire to care for a partner or family and chase hedonistic pleasure until I'm worm food. Screw it. I don't have time or energy anymore to waste on horrible dates with jaded people. I'm feeling jaded too now, but at least I don't want to waste anyone else's time.

Disclaimer:This was made in the span of 3 days. I would have posted here daily if I had remembered that this subReddit exists.
Part 1(Monday):
I met my crush when I was in high-school. I was 13 and she was 14. When I set eyes on her, I knew that she was the one for me. Her reflective skin was like gold waiting to be rubbed and loved. Her luminous eyes were like marbles designed for gazers. Her hair was like a sari, but as soft as silk, waiting to infatuate onlookers who fall in its honey-sweet trap. An example of the above is me.
2 years later, this infatuation still encrusted me. I was in Class XI, and we were studying to obtain Indian Secondary Certificate. Although it is exacting on us, we still have the time to appreciate our boons. I did so via writing a love letter, and presenting it to her. Today, I found out that I had left it at home, despite fatiguing on it. I was devastated. However, I replicated it while pooping on the toilet at the double.
I gave it to my crush, and then, due to being overwrought, ran away from her, hyperventilating, laughing, and crying at the same time. Unfortunately, she just said thanks to me at reccess. I was devastated. However, when I went home, I was taken out of the frying pan into the fire. My mother had discovered the original love letter.
She told me that she found it in my bag, and that we were going to read it together. I was in the most calamitous set of circumstances I had been in my entire life. Fortunately, her phone started ringing in the adjacent room, leading her to retrieve it and communicate to the other person. I darted towards the paper and vehemently did the needful. However, I froze in trepidation when I heard the voice of my crush's father's at the other end of the landline. However, since he works in a scam-centre, he just wanted to scam my mother.
When she finished rebuking him, she came back to the drawing room, where she had reserved my love letter. When pursuing it and interrogating me about its whereabouts, she was replied to via bewildered faces and expressions with a lack of fear. However, she grew tired of pursuing its whereabouts, and therefore, left the room. However, I believe that she has seen it, as they uncrumpled it and left it neatly folded on our bookshelf, which fills me with terror.
Part 2(Tuesday):
I met my crush when I was in high-school. I was 13 and she was 14. When I set eyes on her, I knew that she was the one for me. Her reflective skin was like gold waiting to be rubbed and loved. Her luminous eyes were like marbles designed for gazers. Her hair was like a sari, but as soft as silk, waiting to infatuate onlookers who fall in its honey-sweet trap. An example of the above is me.
I decided to test my valour via generating and sending a love letter to her. Unfortunately, at the time, she just said 'Thanks', which had left me devastated. Moreso, I had to duplicate my letter while pooping out biryani I ate on Sunday, in the highschool toilet, since my mother had stolen my original letter. I thought I did the needful to destroy it. Unfortunately, it was all in vain, which caused my letter to be found by my father.
My father was about to beat me with his belt, which was the worst thing that could happen to a 16 year old Indian teenager. However, fortunately, somebody in uaeteenagers gave me advice, which I used. I dissembled my stories and weaved a lie that states that my friend dared me to give my crush a love letter, and that I was not in love with her, which persuaded my father that I was not in need of a thrasing.
I was relieved, and to make my amygdala, my insula, my insular cortex, and my periaqueductal gray even more elated, she had put a love letter in my bag that apologised for her lacklustre response towards me. She has requested a date that will be taking place tomorrow, and since my parents will be out, of the house, I saw eye to eye with her metaphorically, to ensure that we could literally see eye to eye with each other tomorrow.
I am currently, very elated by this, and am thrilled by a new experience that I will be experiencing. Until now, the only acquaintance with dates I had seen so far were in Hollywood pictures, which cater to a western audience, and therefore, until now, have led me to believe that us Indians cannot get dates due to our conservative nature. However, I was proven wrong, and will extract the moral of the impossible being possible from this memorable episode.
Part 3(Wednesday):
I met my crush when I was in high-school. I was 13 and she was 14. When I set eyes on her, I knew that she was the one for me. Therefore, I valiantly and strenuously, produced a love letter and delivered it to my crush. She was elated by this, and made me elated as well, via inviting me on a date with her. I contentedly to do so, not knowing the consequences of the tragic decision I made.
Today, at 18:00, which is half an hour after I reach my house, I get prepared to go on the date and dazzle her, leaving my house abandoned. To my ginormous shock, she had apparently booked a taxi for me. I live in Dubai. My house was in Al Furjan, while our date was in Motor City, which resulted in a mere half-an-hour journey As I diffidently walked up to the restaurant, I was greeted with a ghastly sight.
She had arrived, but not alone. Her entire family was with her, from her parents, to her elder brother, to her extended family, including her grandparents, uncles, and aunties. They began bombarding me with questions such as my grades in different subjects. However, I had a notable concern:As with most Indian parents, her parents were averse to love, and believed in arranged marriages, similar to mine. There was only one way out, and it was of an execrable nature.
With a heavy heart, I began to rip the most stentorian, malodorous and most fervent fart I had released in my entire life. It had now reverberated towards the now tumultuous room. Amidst all the pandemonium, I escaped from there, and with the permission of a stranger, took another taxi back to my house in Al Furjan, where I would be unscarred from the danger of both my parents' potential revelation, and the disapprobation of the family of my crush.
I am now typing this amidst a stream of tears and a heavy heart. However, I have now learnt sacrifice, and that bitter truth that life would be blemished in one way or another, for example, in this case, either via the revelation of my parents, the disapprobation of the family of my crush, and sacrificing my potential wife. However, this is something that can neither be concealed in y hippocampus, nor my amygdala, which results in me sharing this.
(Please speak in English. I don't know Hindi.)

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/Marriage/s/YlSDQ4nogk
I wanted to give you guys an update of how the therapy session with my wife went this week. Not sure if this is helpful or not but I took many of the responses/comments/suggestions from my initial post and put together some things I wanted to discuss with our couples therapist to help us navigate some of the core issues that may be affecting this situation.
One of the main things that is the "buzz word" of this has been the term "resentment" and it has been really eating me up inside knowing my wife keeps telling me she doesn't know why she's resentful or doesn't know why this is affecting her emotionally/mentally. I brought this up with our therapist once again and resurfaced the conversation about being married for so long (15yrs) and being together since we ere 14yrs old. Our long history of growing up and how having children when she was 19yrs old (me 20) significantly changed the trajectory of our lives. We experience sever poverty and many hardships in the process and we essentially had zero social life for the past 10 years because we were so busy raising babies (2 kids now ages 12 &14). She followed up with tons of questions directly mostly at my wife about her feelings towards this and 90% of the responses were very "our kids" focused. It definitely felt like she was afraid of saying "yes it sucked" because she would feel guilt or shame because it would imply she regrets the kids. I mentioned this in the session and the therapist encouraged her to look at this outside of the lens of being a mother and to try to view it a bit more selfishly and individually and it was very eye opening. My wife mentioned that she was very frustrated with the fact that we did miss out on many things in life. She also was very clear in saying "I do not think I missed out on other partners or dating or partying but I certainly lost all my friends." This was huge because one of the big pieces that has caused a strain in our lives is how silo'd and isolated we've been (again busy raising kids). I followed up by reminding her that it's important to have good friends and to make time for herself and her friendships.
For the past 3+ years, we've had multiple conversations about friends and how it is important to have them in life. Specially when you have similar peers that can help in many areas of life that perhaps we have no experience navigating and even simply for enjoyment. It has always been something my wife avoids, even though she's always been someone who needs that external stimuli. The main reason for her not investing in friends or even herself has always been "the kids." Like I mentioned earlier in this post, 90% of the answers have to relate to "the kids" to some degree.
At this point in our session I started to feel like there was a common denominator (the kids) in most of the frustrations and problems she was experiencing. So I simply asked her "Do you think you may be upset at me because I'm responsible for these kids in the sense that I got you pregnant so young?" I wasn't ready but she said that she was upset at me for that. She also followed up with the fact that she knows that's unreasonable because it "takes 2 to tango." I did feel like it was progress because it kind of gave us something to work on and help alleviate some of these "burdens" so we agreed to invest more time in nurturing good friendships both together and individually.
Towards the end of the session, we began to discuss what actionable items we would take from this session. At this point, it was still all very ambiguous and blurry as to what the outcomes were. I was very direct and very forward in asking my wife what her plan is moving forward. (NOTE: I had decided prior to the session that should my wife say the same thing about being a coparenting roommate that I would take the 180 approach and essentially do me) She started basically saying the same thing, that she doesn't have any desire to be intimate or sexual with me as of now and that she loves me immensely and she feels bad for not being there for me (as mentioned in my first post).
I also brought up the brief swinging that happened, to which for the 50th time said it wasn't a problem. I agree with her on this. This was something that was a "mechanical" approach for a solution to a problem that was very much in existent when we tried this. We (both) really have no issue to this. We know it happened, we tried it and mutually stopped and turned the page.
I also brought up other life events that may cause resentment and really we ended up not getting anywhere else as far as the root for resentment which was discouraging.
I then basically expressed to my wife that I will not be ok with that arrangement. I told her that I've really done everything I can and that this issue really has reached a point where it has nothing to do with me or require me to do anything that I'm currently not doing. I was very direct and saying that I will not be accepting this dynamic and that I need to be with someone who is actively involved in our marriage, works towards resolutions and is very much interested in maintaining an active intimacy and sexual relationship. I expressed how I am not going to be a "convenience" and that there was more to life than being roommates and coparents. I made sure she knows I love her dearly and that I do want this to work for the better. I also told her that I'm fully committed to this marriage so long as she is as well and that is she wasn't, its ok, however I will not be a part of something where these efforts are not reciprocated. I told her I have no plans of leaving, and I do not want a divorce, however, I made it clear that if this dynamic continues that divorce will be the only outcome.
Of course tears were involved and it was a very bleak and sad ending to the session. Still nothing was said and I walked out very discouraged and very determined to start working on the 180 as soon as we left the room. It's painful and very difficult because much of the 180 requires you to be very short and cold and transactional. The saddest part is realizing, this dynamic already is very cold and transactional.
Here is where it gets VERY interesting. I started working on implementing many of the 180 recommendations that same day. I mentioned to my wife that, "hey, things are going to be a bit different moving forward. I'm going to honor her roommate/coparent dynamic without reproach and that it should be no mistake that I am not happy here and I am never going to be ok with it but I am done working on it if she wasn't going to work on it." She agreed and went to bed. I started to build distance and started to basically focus on myself. Very short and transactional. She asked for help on some of her personal things to which I declined and it really shocked her. She was upset saying I was being petulant. I explained to her that, she is now fully in charge of her own life and her own issues. We didn't talk all day and we only spoke when necessary. Few days I keep this going and she's very visibly upset and stressed. I typically react to that with gestures of help or nurturing but I didn't this time. That night she was crying telling me she's stressed and she things something is wrong with me because I'm "indifferent." I simply listened, then I told her that this is the dynamic she proposed and that I'm simply (much like her) taking care of myself and focusing on myself. I'm not going to lie, it has been VERY hard to be cold and distant because as I mentioned before, I love her and I wish I could hold her and love on her. However, I know this is somewhat manipulative in a way just to get her way and still keep me in the friendzone. So I've been staying the course.
We're now going on a week of this 180 and let just say, there has been MANY changes on her side. I think she is starting to realize there is more to me than just "friends and coparenting." I sent her a text a few days ago essentially itemizing bills and separating the financial responsibilities 50/50 and SHE LOST HER SHIT. She basically told me it was "out of left field" to which I responded "hey, friends go in 50/50 and as your friend I expect nothing less." This was very eye opening because it gave me a glimpse of I'm really taken for granted and how her level of comfort and convenience at my expense is really overlooked. I pushed through anyways and basically told her that this is the new dynamic she asked for and that its still a "bargain" because she would have to be 100% if she was on her own.
I'll wrap up with this. While the 180 has been working in many different areas, I am still very much sad about the overall situation. There have been MANY eye opening statements being said and realization that have not been pleasant to encounter. It has also sparked new energy and new efforts on her side as well. She's definitely seeking to talk to me more often and while its hard to turn down, I hope if things improve, this continues to happen. I've also noticed that she's making more time for herself aside from being a mom which is HUGE because she pretty much neglected herself for years. I'm very pleased seeing her be more herself. My hope is that as we work on ourselves, the marriage improves. There really is no telling at this point where this will go. We are very much cordial and amicable even to this day and that's a very good sign. Boundaries are set and expectations are very clear and I feel that no matter the outcome, I will be at peace with everything that has been done. We're still going to continue the couples therapist until we either rekindle our marriage or end up in divorce. I feel like having this nonbiased third party really helps as a witness and as a guide through this. No matter what I will always love my wife, however, I will not participate in a sexless, intimacy less marriage because we both deserve better.
Thank you all for all the kind words and recommendations and feedback. This will be my last post on this topic and I wish you all the best.
TL;DR: My wife friend-zoned me wants to just coparent at my expense but I started the 180 method to try and find a solution because she doesn't want to work on us which seems to be working on getting her out of her rut and helping me discover more about how she feels. Also, therapy is paramount and highly recommend to all couples.

It was a short story I read in a Best of 20xx (I don't remember the exact date, but pre2015) collection. It's so memorable, and I retell it to people now and again, but I can't find it anywhere! The name of the story is the name of the fictional Russian nightclub that serves as the setting, as well as the legendary gangster who built it.
Story goes like this.
Russian gangsters, the protagonist is the 2nd in command (we'll call him "P"). The Boss is taking him to a famous exotic nightclub but doesn't know P has saved up a ton of $$ and is planning to leave the game for good with his exotic dancer girlfriend. The club is named after another infamous old gangster who, upon the club's grand opening, disappeared into it, never to be seen again.
They enter the club into the main ballroom and take a seat at a fancy table before a central stage. This level of the club is very posh, filled with people of means. P knows that every morning, before the crowd turns over, there's an auction on this stage where the most beautiful dancer presents the crowd with a single pristine red rose. It's all show, for the high rollers to show off how much money they can throw away, but that rose is coveted nonetheless. P's boss introduces P to a suspicious associate, and after the formalities, P takes his leave to meet up with his girlfriend. This is where the story begins to get psychedelic.
A floor down, P meets his girl while she's working and takes a seat at a bar. He orders 2 shots of the club's house vodka (also named after the mysterious og gangster who built the place). After he takes the shots, he finds himself eerily walking alone in a snowy frozen wooded park. Suddenly, the suspicious associate of his boss comes out of nowhere and attacks him, ostensibly on the boss's orders. Our P loses this violent fight to the death, and as his eyes fade to black, he wakes up at the bar again with 2 empty shot glasses in front of him.
Shaking off the intense "dream," P leaves the basement floor of the club to find someone he can pay his large sum of $$ to, to buy his woman's freedom. This journey takes him up an elevator this time, and past a filthy and grotesquely emaciated janitor. As P passes the janitor they lock eyes, and in an instant P knows that this man is in fact, in the flesh, the owner of this club, the infamous og himself. With a silent and mangled grin, the decrepit janitor reaches out a gnarled open hand toward P, to receive the money. P knows this moment is crucial, but he hesitates when his sensibility demands a more formal transaction. The moment passes, the janitor turns back to his work. P is forced to walk on, angry and deeply disturbed, down the hall, to the next room of the club.
This floor has several rooms of themed masquerade, and as P stumbles through them, he finds himself talking to people he hasn't seen in ages. Some are family and friends, while some are old enemies of his. After calming down from his encounter with the horrible remnant of the club owner, he begins to realize that some of the people he's surrounded by should be dead. He's seen many of them die himself, and yet here they are, drinking and dancing the night away. He flees the scene, afraid he will somehow be stuck in that place of shambling walking dead, until he feels snowflakes again on his face.
P is in the snowy park again, but this time he knows the game. The cat-and-mouse game of death is P's home territory, and after the night he's had, he is more than ready for it. P stays in the treeline and waits for his assailant to reveal himself. Soon enough, his boss's new associate walks into the clearing, completely unaware of P. P sneaks up behind him and attacks, this time with vengeful ferocity and the clear upper hand. As he watches the light leave his assailant's eyes, all around him his surroundings dissolve into curtains that raise into the ceiling to the sound of thunderous applause, and P finds himself in the main ballroom again, center stage. He notices his boss, still seated at his original table, laughing and clapping with a thoroughly entertained smile on his face.
P silently climbs offstage and sits back down with his boss. He is just in time for the rose auction. Lo and behold, it's P's girlfriend on stage presenting the rose to the audience. As she begins to take bids P sits exhausted, and feels like this may be the last chance to buy freedom for him and his partner. He stands and offers his entire briefcase of savings for the rose, and not a single attendee will raise his offer. She saunters over to him, and says that this is it, it's over, and everything is ready for them to leave in the morning. She looks at him emotionless and says he had his chance to pay the owner, and he made his choice to keep the money. She takes the briefcase, presents him with the rose, and walks away.
P sits down again, and time passes in a blur until his boss claps him on the shoulder and tells him it's time to leave. They go outside to the boss's limousine, and P is left reflecting that after all that, it's back to work tomorrow after all.

Hi all, I (24m) have been dating my girlfriend (25f) for 6 years, and living together for the past 2. Over the entirety of our relationship, our physicality has been an area that Ive felt could use improvement. I think I have a higher sex drive than my SO, and I was also her first so I was totally fine taking things slow when we first started dating.
That being said, once sex became part of our relationship, the dynamic very quickly settled into me initiating nearly every time, and getting turned down ~50% of the time. This worsened when she started on antidepressants about 4 years ago or so, as her sex drive dropped even more. I myself started antidepressants 2 years ago and noticed similar changes in my drive. So for the past 2 years I’ve essentially just… taken care of things myself when the urge arrives, and made peace with the situation. We’ve had sex maybe 10 times since we moved In together 2 years ago.
More recently, I spent the weekend at a close female friend of mines house (who also lives with her boyfriend). My girlfriend is also good friends with this person and we’ve all regularly hung out many times over our relationship, so there were no jealousy or infidelity worries there. But during the weekend, her and her boyfriend got into a huge fight (I brought my situation up with them, turned out they were in the same situation, and he was looking at or talking to OF girls) and I was the one consoling her all night.
Since this event though, my feelings about my whole situation have been flipped on their head. Seeing my 2 friends argue caused it to really set in how much I was dissatisfied with my own situation. Since returning home though, I’ve still had no desire to initiate or even start that conversation. I also think consoling my friend triggered something in me, because I have not been able to get her out of my head since leaving. Im hoping this is just a symptom of my relationship issues and nothing more
I’m just a bit lost because while I’m unhappy physically in my current relationship, my girlfriend is my best friend. We are both an open book to each other and there’s no one’s advice or feedback I value more. I honestly don’t know what I would do with myself if I didn’t have her in my life.
If anyone has been in a similar situation or has advice to offer, all is appreciated!
TL;DR: I’m in a 6 year relationship with close to no physical intimacy. I made peace with this a while ago, but a recent visit with a close female friend of mine is making me rethink things. I’m having intrusive thoughts about this friend, and am worried I let the issues in my relationship go too long without resolving them. Despite all this, my gf is my best friend and we get along very well, so I am lost on how to proceed.

Last year I started working at this hardware store, and a few months after I started there, she started up and when i first saw her I fell for jer on the spot. Im not going to go into all the details since if I do ita gonna tear me up inside, but we never dated, we came close but she backed out, and my life kimda became a living hell.
But I ended up leaving the store and goimg off to college for the last 9 months. I thougjt I had gotton over her, and simce Im on summer break now I decided to go back to my old job and get my old job back. I thought she had quit but when I went in last sunday she was there and I fell for her all over again.
Ive done a lot of thinking and over thinking since then, and after working with her on saturday I decided im not going to do anything. What I lean is im not going to try to persue a relationship, and instead im just going to try to block her out of my life, so not looking at her, not talking to her, just trying to avoid her basically.
But I know that will only go so far, I will still hear her voice on the radio at work, ill still have those memories that will plague me when I try to sleeo. So my qustion is, what can I do to get over her? So I can officially move on and put her behind me. And also please dont say "oh just find someone else" because its not that simple for me. In all the 20 years Ive been alive shes been the only woman to ever show some interest in me, ive tried dating apps in the oast but they mever work for me. So yeah please dont say that.

Thank you to Space paladin for the canvas and u/Acceptable_Egg5560 for proofreading and critique
Content warning; Educator abuse and syrupy love
[First]-[Prev]-[Next]
Memory transcript: Maarchal , MESEA Astronomers. Date: [Standard Farsul calendar ] January 26th, 3667
PLUNCK
Ponthyts blue stick clattered on the board, rolling around in a circle. Before settling on three. He then pumps his paw and moves to move a soldier that many paces.
“Well, I got you cornered now, whatcha going to do about it?” I smirk at Ponthyts soon to be dashed confidence as I take out my red stick and flip in the air much higher than he did with his own.
It hits the board with a loud clatter, bouncing on each end before settling on rolling. To which it landed on seven. I move my last interceptor through his ranks and take his general. The gobsmacked look on his features was evident, with his previously wagging tail so still it made stone seem fluid.
“I win.”
“How did you do that?”
I rolled my shoulders and readjusted my legs underneath. “Well, you left a clear path for my interceptor.” I pointed to the gaps in his remaining pieces.
“I know that! I mean how did you know you'd get a high enough number to do that? Your interceptor was all the way back here and it's your last red piece!!!”
I lean my head back and lean against the wall behind me. “I didn't, I just saw an opportunity and took it.”
He pointed a digit at me “ Mershit, that was some grandmaster trap!”
I give him the ear position of resignation with a mirthful little grin. “I promise you it was just luck.”
He waves his paw dismissively. “I don't believe you.”
“Well believe it, because I don't plan ahead like that. Want to play another game?”
He shakes his head. “Nah I think four games is enough for one night.” He begins moving the pieces into their containers and folds up the board and places it on top of them. Closing the box. He then stands up and offers me his paw, I use it to pull myself up off the floor.“Well Maarchal, I’ll see you tomorrow at the observatory. I’ll bring the set if you want to play it during lunch if you want.”
I froze, “what! What time is it? He turns over to look at the clock above his strove.
“Ahh about Fifteen minutes past 18.”
“Uh, that's not that late! We could play another game! C’mon let's have a tie breaker!”
He rubs his eyes, “I’m tired and we have work in the morning. Is there something you're avoiding?”
I rub my upper right arm and look off into the corner. “...”
He took on a worried look, “Why don't you want to go home Maarchal?”
I sighed and took a seat at his dining room table. “I… I don't like that house, I’ve lived there since I moved to LIghra six years ago but it's not a… home like here.”
I looked around at the messy abode. Dirty cloaks were strewn about on the back of chairs and the rubbish trough was just barely not overflowing. Paintings either from family or Ponthyts own paw were hanged up in the hallways, and the lightbulbs cast a warm orangish light. While the dishes from our dinner were placed in the sink, covered with animal gravy slathered all over them. It was tidy yet just barely so. A place filled with all the markers of being lived in.
“You've lived here less than a year but it feels like it's always had you in it. I feel … so comfortable here. My own home is so… cold and sterile. I Worked a lot the first few months I moved here. I just never got around to making it a home. It feels so bare, I started to work overtime just to avoid it. Which just made the problem worse.”
He sat down across from me, He put his head in his paws and looked at the scratched wood of his table. He held that position for a minute or two before breaking it and placing his paw on my own. “Maarchal, you are my best friend, I want you to feel comfortable. So if you want you can sleep on my coach, I can also help you make your home feel like one."
​
I shake my head, “no no, I shouldnt of imposed on you. Making myself feel at home is a job I need to do and have been avoiding for far too long. It's just… it's just so much easier to avoid you know?” I grabbed his paw and squeezed it. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
​
I stand up and make my way to his front door before he speaks up.
​
“Uh hey Maarchal?”
​
I turn to address him “yeah?”
​
He shifts in his seat and fidgets with his fingers. “I’m uh, going to Ootra lake next week. I was wondering If you'd like… to come with me? I promise if you don't have a tent I’ll bring you one. We could have a fire, roast some meat on it and share ghost stories and stargaze… if you want?”
​
“ What about work?”
​
He rocks in his chair. “We'd have to call in for a day or so.”
​
I contemplated his words and mulled them over. It would be the first time I’ve ever willingly taken off a day, tarnishing my perfect attendance. But the prospect of spending more one on one time with Ponthyt was overwhelmingly tempting.
​
“Sure, I’d love to go. But I haven't gone camping for years so you will need to bring me a tent.”
​
He leapt from his chair, launching it backwards, before calming himself down. “I’ll take care of all the prep. You just have to come along. I promise it’ll be loads of fun!”
​
I chuckled while I watched his clearly restrained display as I slowly closed the door.
​
I could hear him howl with enjoyment as I turned into the driveway to get to my auto.
​
**\*
​
“Huff, Huff, you doin alright there Ponthyt?” I turned back to see him walking behind me.
​
“Yeah, oof I haven't walked this much in years!”
​
I waited for him to catch up, we sat together when he did and we caught our breath before tuning to make our way back up the bluff. When we reached it there was a stone gazebo made of limestone. The angle of the sun let it shine into it. We walked into it and sat down on the stone benches. I looked around at the lake.
​
It was surrounded by steep hills with many rock faces visible, the layered stone was clearly visible. The topography of the area around the bluffs was shaped like a bowl, with the sight of land of higher elevation faintly visible in the distance despite its gradual slope. Giving a scene of depth that was not as extreme then in more mountainous areas. This view was normally hidden by the trees below.
​
“Well isn't this view alone worth the trip?” Ponthyt proclaimed.
​
I looked around letting the mid morning sun warm my back, I stretched my arms and breathed deeply. Taking in all the wonderful scents of nature.
​
“Yeah, it's beautiful.” I let myself relax, just letting the sounds and scents of nature calm me like I have never been since I was a pup on an archeological trip with mom and dad.
​
“Hmm, I've missed this.”
​
I don't know for how long I had been like this, but Ponthyt broke the silence “Ahhem, so, you've gone camping before?”
​
I nodded, “yeah when I was a pup my parents would sometimes go off to a site for a couple of weeks and we would come with them. We would have to get homeschooled then. But we would always have to camp and I and my siblings would go off exploring while they worked during the day.”
​
He smiled and his tail was wagging.” That sounds wonderful. I only got to camp for a couple days a year. It was always so hectic. Me and my siblings would just muck around the camp and eat, sometimes hiking around. Heh” Ponthyt looked towards the ground and held his paws together, rubbing his digits together.
​
“What's wrong Ponthyt?”
​
“Oh it's nothing it's-” I put my paw on his shoulder which drew his attention towards me.
​
“I know that's not true, you can trust me. Just tell me what's wrong ok?”
​
He gave a look of reluctance before caving to my request “… sigh… I grew up in a big family, and I love them all but… I was born at a strange time. I was second to last of my parents pups. Which meant they were busy with the older ones' events and taking care of the youngest. I kind of got mixed up and forgotten. My interests rarely lined up with the others and I often messed up tasks that my sibling would just fix or do for me. It got to the point that I… didn't really do anything. They will never say this but… I don't think my parents ever expected anything of me.”
​
I rub his shoulder,” well… I know that you have amounted to something. I mean, you're an astronomer! You work to understand the nature of reality. You're also so… kind and patient. I tried to scare you off but you weren't deterred at my standoffish behavior.”
​
He turned his head and gave me a shallow but joyous expression. “Heh well living in a house that's rarely quiet leaves you with a high tolerance for stubbornness. '' he wipes away a single tear “Sniff well… should we make our way back to camp? Or can I take out my stuff?”
​
I shake my head. ”Nah, you can paint. I’ll just sit here and let this place wash over me.”
​
He smiles and gets up and sets up his easel, taking out his supplies from his bag and gets to work painting the landscape ahead of him. He was slow and each brushstroke was as deliberate as he could manage. He… wasn't very good, only starting out when he moved here. But his drive to get better was admirable. Even in adulthood he tried to learn, to grow, to become more than he was yesterday.
​
I kept staring at him. Feeling something warm in my gut, something an academic wasn't supposed to feel. Shame overwhelmed me and I quickly turned away. Cursing myself for having those accursed feelings.
​
​
**\*
​
Ponthyt, returned from his cauto (Cargo auto -> pickup truck) with an armful of wood he brought with us. He set most of it aside and threw a piece onto the fire he had started, causing a cascade of embers to fly into the late evening air. The dull purple of the sky cast overhead between the canopy of the trees as the chill of the night began to come in. A pleasant coolness that most would take advantage of to seek the comfort of warming oneself close to a fire.
​
Not me, I paced to a fro as Ponthyt set up our campsite. He had placed his painting for the day inside the cabin of his cautoa and was now seasoning some raw meat strips to cook on the open fire. Snacking on one or two as he did so. He hung them on the tripod to roast, the fat that dripped off them as they were cooking sizzled as they burned on the coals below.
​
“I’ll have these done as soon as I can, please sit down Maarchal. Walking like that is only going to make the wait worse.” He says as he prods the suspended meat with a claw like utensil.
​
“Hmm, ok I’ll just sit and wait. Waste my time. Make a waste of the whole evening!!!” I snapped back at him, throwing my paws into the air.
​
Ponthyt recoils from my outburst with his ears pinned back. “ We’re camping, there is no way to waste it.”
​
I turned to address him, “we shouldn't be here! This trip means nothing and we are just wasting our TIME!!!” I cross my arms and scratch at the biceps. Rufflying the fur and making a mess of myself.
​
Ponthyt drops his utensil and walks over to me. “ We’re together and we spent the whole day just mucking about. How is this any more of a waste than that?” He says as he looks at me with eyes full of worry.
​
“We’re scientists, academics!!! We don't waste time like the ignorant masses! We should spend our time wisely!!! Every action of connection is just another moment we waste that could be spent to advance our field.” I had tears forming in the corners of my eyes. Scratching at my fur until I felt a wetness on my arms and paws.
​
“We’re supposed to sharpen our minds! No-not seek pointless relationships! ” I said as I bared my teeth and began growling at him.
​
The look of betrayal and abject worry he had on his face was overwhelming. I didn't want to hurt him. What am I doing? He doesn't deserve my ire. My legs gave out and I cried into my hands.
​
Ponthyt walked over to his cauto and brought out a cover. He wrapped it around me and rubbed my arms through it. He rested his head on top of mine while I sobbed. I couldn't take this anymore. Repressing and lashing out at any attempt to connect. Ponthyt hugged me and rocked back and forth. Humming and rubbing on the cover. He was warm and soft. I don't know how long we had been like this but by the time my sobs turned to a faint whine the meat over the fire was well done and the sky was pure black and the stars were out.
​
“I-I think i’m good no-now.” I choked out. Ponthyt grabbed my hand and helped me stand up. We didn't say another word. He collects the meat and places it on two plates. I stare at my portion for some time, Ponthyt doesn't eat any of his either.
​
“Sigh… I know you might not want to but… Could you tell me why you said those things earlier?” He says with trepidation clearly miring his words.
​
“Yeah, it's just… When I entered college It was… not what I was expecting… I was sort of a hyper teen. Always going off about some book I read. Drawing pictures of stars, space stations or colonies we would make on inhospitable planets.”
​
He sits up and places his plate by his side. “You draw? I’d love to see some of them.”
​
“I used to. But I haven't since that first year of college.” I turned to stare at the dying inferno warming us. I pull the cover around me tighter.
​
“When I was doodling before class one day the professor walked by me. He noticed what I was doing and grabbed my paper. I objected but he just stared at me. When he started to address the class he showed it off and mocked me for wasting my time.” Ponthyt turns his head to look at me.
​
“That's a dick move, But at least he couldn't do the same when you did it in your free time right?” I turned to him with a somber expression. He seemed to understand the implications though he seemed to be confused as to how.
​
“He couldn't have gotten into your room right? That'd be a huge breach of privacy!!!”
​
I grabbed the poker and stirred the coals of the fire. “You're right, he couldn't. But he didn't need to, my roommate would take them with her to class and he’d pin them up on the board to mock. I called the staff but since she was my roommate she didn't break any privacy laws and since my art was only ever worth the paper it was on it wasn't even enough to get a misdemeanor theft charge. I tried to hide it but she would always find them. I tried to get another roommate but he stonewalled my attempts and I couldn't afford to rent a place in town. ”
​
He took on a look of absolute despair. “... How… how could he be so aggressively intolerant of such an innocent hobby?”
​
I chuckled “It wasn't just mine, a few others had made the mistake of having a roommate with the same professor. I remembered one who loved going out in the woods for hikes. When he found out about that he mocked him for “Pointless exercise and admiring a random assemble of dead and dying shit””. I waved my arms about to emphasize how he inflicted his words.
​
Ponthyt stared at the ground between us with a look of utter confusion.” … He mocked someone for appreciating nature and being healthy?”
​
I nodded, “if you were not engaging with study of his topic you were wasting his and everyone else's time.”
​
Ponthyt looks at me with concern and shared pain. “Why, why didn't you go to a different school?”
​
I stared at him in his eyes. A scene of shame overtook me. “It was the top class in the country. My family was so proud of me. I was so proud of myself, I didn't want to disappoint them and me. Looking back on it, I realize my own pride was something I rarely contended with until then. It didn't help when he found out who my family was.”
​
Ponthyt recoiled and waved his arms in a “what” fashion. “Wait, what does your family have to do with this?”
​
I poked at a log to knock off the charcoal to expose the untouched wood underneath. “They were happy. He spent a lot of time in academic circles so naturally he met people who knew my parents. And the way they described this happy family irritated him something fierce. He gave me such a hard time with it. Mocking me for being a lazy nepotism pick who didn't deserve her seat in his class. He mocked anyone for having any kind of non professional relationship, we never spoke to each other outside of class. We never left or met with friends or family. If we tried too he’d find out and call the one in question a “Lazy sentimental idiot.””
​
I breathed in deeply, “... that hurt my pride so severely that I just stopped seeing them or any of my friends. I always said I was busy or had a field study, but I was just reading and rereading his lectures. I didn't even go home for the summer breaks, I just apprenticeshiped at his museum to study even more. At graduation he looked so… proud, I only realized he was proud of what he turned me into and not what I did a few weeks after I met you. How I let him turn me into an angry starile shell of a person.”
​
Ponthyt turned his head towards the fire. His ears straight up and a soft growl in his throat. “... If I ever meet that piece of.. nuclear waste, I’ll kill him.”
​
He turns to me and his features soften immediately. “Anyone capable of manipulating someone as passionate and creative as you... I can't even imagine the kind of living hell he made you seek…”
​
I chucked and a slight wag entered my tail.” I’m responsible for my life. MY pride kept me there for him to mold. I hate him, but I hate myself for it too.”
​
Ponthyt shoots up and screams at me “MERSHIT, Maarchal, you have nothing to be ashamed of. You had a right to expect your teachers to be respectable people. Not abusive and manipulative Sherkires (Ambush insect. Commonly seen as sneaky and unhonorable due to making pheromones and calls imitating other insects mating signals). He starts to speak softer as he turners to address me.
​
“Even this version of you, so cut off of why you love space in the first place is just.. You are one of the most remarkable people I have ever met. So humble with addressing yourself. You inspire me to be a tenth of the person you are.” He kneels in front of me and grabs my paws in his own.
​
“You are… you are so passionate, so creative. Even with being a self described shell. I can't even imagine how you will be when you open up again and explore your creativity in full and banish that monster's influence for good.”
​
I turn and I can't help but smile at his words.”... I haven't been in practice in years. But … I’m willing to relearn it with you.” I stared deeply in his eyes and that feeling again bubbles within me. The feeling of never wanting to leave his side, the feeling as though I found a piece I had been missing. Before I knew it I bit on his snout, recoiling when I realized what I had done.
​
‘I-I’m so sorry!!! You were just so close and and I felt something and before I knew it-” I was caught off guard when he bit my snout, holding my top jaw between his own set. I bit down on his lower jaw and we locked together. He tried to let go after a while. But I growled to let him know I wasn't ready yet and I used my leverage to lead him into my tent.
​
**\*
​
I got up and exited my tent. I stood up and stretched and twisted my back around. Lifting my arms above my head and pulling them as far out as I could. I looked at the coals still burning in our firepit, I could only tell they were burning from the heat going off of them as the glow was hidden by the sun's light. Before noticing the meat Ponthyt prepared last night still on the plates on the log we sat on.
​
“Pff, hey Ponthyt. Come out here!!!” I said behind me. He crawled out my tent with a head of messy fur.
​
“Wut ?” He said with half closed eyes and a disposition of utter exhaustion . I pointed to the cold meat. He still had a look of drowsiness before he realized what the significance of the strange strips were.
​
“Heh, I guess we won't need to make breakfast?” I chuckled as I sat down and hugged his head. I groomed his messy fur as I absorbed the morning sun. I don't know what the future of my career looked like anymore. But it was no longer the most important thing in my life. I loved space, I loved to learn. But In these years I had lost track of what was truly important. As I groomed him Ponthyt fell asleep with his head in my lap.
​
As I felt the joy of reciprocal love again for the first time in years I leaned back and watched the sunrise, caressing my love's head and breathing in the fresh air.
[First]-[Prev]-[Next]

AITA for kicking our my former friend and roommate.
About two years ago, I rented my first apartment with help from my grandmother. I live in a major city, and I was 21 at the time, so yeah you could imagine the living conditions where out of Good times. I asked a high school friend of mine if he wanted to be my roommate and get out of his mom's house, which he agreed. We never really hung out a lot in hs, but had known each other since middle school. I thought it was a perfect match. Now, keep in mind HE DID NOT SIGN ON THE LEASE. I had asked him numerous times before to come down with me to sign, but he would always go ghost or respond late. So, I was solely on the lease.
Now, I made the very rookie mistake of having a split 600/400 for a 935 rent payment, I didn't include utilities because I was very naive. So after a first accidental missed payments and a day in the dark, I had asked if he would mind renegotiating since it was taking to much from my pockets to keep the lights, gas, and internet on (These are important things for him to play my pS4 while I'm at work.) Now, a couple months into living together, an old friend of his had come to the state from Ohio. He had always had a crush on her that I wasn't privy too, from what she said, but that was a long time ago. I come home from work one day, irrated that he didn't clean the bathroom before bringing company over to stay. So while I was cleaning the bathroom and he was at work she comes in and we get to talking, and ironically she finds the fact that I'm cleaning attractive from the vibes she gave off. Your mom wasn't lying.
So eventually, we spend a few nights together during her stay. We're playing 2k together, driving around smoking, and just vibing hard. We connected, but it wouldn't work cause she had to go to Florida and I wasn't really ready to date someone with kids. After she left, my friend became pretty distant, and that's when he became my roommate I guess. I supposed he thought that they were going to get that time to spend together, which to be fair, she spent time with bro too. I was under the impression that they were long friends, I didn't know bro was in the friendliness with this girl since they were kids, he never expressed that. More over, it wasn't like I had put on the isley brothers and busted out my red velvets as soon as I saw her. She came onto me and I received nuff said.
After this is when he got into a relationship of his own, he would bring her over every night, to the point to where she had half assed moved in. I wouldn't really care too much if wasn't pretty much keeping the lights on by myself at this point. Yeah he'd pay his rent which barely put a dent in anything. I was always the one broke, working two jobs, with no car just to have this space. For him to just so blatantly move someone in as if he ran the show, I just laughed. I felt like the clown though.
To make that situation worse, we knew her from hs too. Back then I did not like her very much and made that very known to my friend group who all drooled over her. However, I'm not going to judge you for high school when we're in our early twenties and you're dating my friend, but this would always come up again and again. Like I was a shifty CW show or something.
Anyway, long story short, I had asked mans to move out after she became pregnant. This is because people had the nerve to act as if I was scamming them or whatever they thought, literally how if the rent you share barely covers anything. At this point, I had my much better job that I'm still working. So I told him straight up one day, but then he had the nerve to ask to see a copy of MY LEASE. I chuckled loud enough for his girl to heat me and reminded him that he hadn't signed anything, probing his memory. Dude went back to suburbs to live with his or her family and I moved back in with my grandma, so back to the drawing board for now.
I really want to emphasize that I'm no aint and if you want more details for an opinion, I could update this. I've really just had to get this one off my chest and seek a different opinion, cause of course I could just be an asshole.

So i 26f have been seeing my fb 24m for about five months. I’ve been going through some personal things so my BPD has been more triggered in the last four months and have been taking it out on him. Needless to say we break up every other few days. About two weeks ago, I broke up with him, which was a long amount of time for us and three days ago I found out he was dating another woman 24f I know this isn’t right, but I was so tray that I convinced him to get back with me and then when I started questioning him about the girl, he told me they only stole each other twice and the second time they saw each other he told her he wants to get back with his ex and apparently she was fine with it. Fast forward to today and I’m working. I’m a manager at a local café, and I see the girl he was seeing walking up to the café out of my works front window (of course I know it was her because I’ve looked at her Instagram) but she walks up with a friend and her eyes are darting around as if she’s looking for me so I pretend that I don’t see her and I guess she stood outside for a few minutes when I heard the door open. I looked up and I see her and her friend starting to walk towards me, but when we made eye contact, she stopped in her tracks and we just stared at each other, I turned my head and she walked out because she was embarrassed. I saw her. I feel that she knows I work there because I post myself at work a lot and assume she looked up my Instagram. I did some digging for mutual friends and apparently she has BPD also. I’m not telling my favorite person this because I’m really suspicious now, but has anyone ever dealt with another BPD person or somebody with BPD tendencies?? I’m confused to the point she was trying to prove and I feel like I am going to spiral. My FP and i are in an argument today over something else and not really talking and i dont even want him to know this girl mi but I don’t know any support or voices appreciate it ght still like him but I don’t know any support or advice is appreciated!

I have been dating my boyfriend for the past 2.5 years. We are in a long-distance relationship. The first 1.5 years were really good but from the past 1 year or so he has developed a weird habit of making useless offensive jokes between conversations.
The reason he gives is that he is stressed about his career and hence doesn't have the mental capacity to work on this issue of his and doesn't think too much before saying it.
His jokes for example:

1. He jokes about dying. I have told him not to make such jokes which hurts me but he still makes it.
   
2. He says jokingly "What if I am here cheating on you with someone else, as you are not living in my city".
   

There are so many more examples of such silly "jokes" he makes which annoys the shit out of me and I end up fighting.
The main issue is that I have REPEATEDLY told him that what he says "as a joke" hurts me so bad that he apologizes every time. But still, he doesn't stop doing it. He again will start behaving this way after some days and will make me mad and then apologize and ask for forgiveness.
I am so tired of forgiving him. I feel so disrespected that why can't he just stop doing this even when I have told him that it hurts me?
THE LAST STRAW WAS TODAY
My mom loves dancing so she made a beautiful reel on this trending Marathi song "Gulabi saree". I have sent it to him saying "Look at your future mil🥰".
To which he replied "Why is she dancing at this age instead of doing Bhajan🤣" (she is 43y.o).
After he realized that I didn't take his "joke" well. He instantly started apologizing that "it was just a joke, she looks so beautiful"
I just told him I am fucking done with him. He then again started his RR on how sorry he was and would not repeat such jokes.
I understand that he is stressed about his career but so am I. It doesn't mean that he can make so-called disrespectful jokes which hurts me.
I am so mentally exhausted. I told him I needed a break from him. I don't know I might now just end this relationship.
TLDR: Breaking up with my bf because he can't stop with his jokes which I have clearly told him that it hurts.