My stepkid is 5. Me and my partner had the day with him on Saturday, right before Mother’s Day. My stepson is basically being raised by his maternal grandmother, the mother is in and out of the picture as she wishes, right now she’s living in her grandmas house after the last guy she tried living with threw her out and her mom doesn’t want her back, but the house is close enough that sometimes my stepson spends time with her. This week when we arrive he gets in the car eating strawberry cookies (it was lunch time, and I had prepared actual food as I always do when he will come over) so I knew lunch was already spoiled, and then he announces that his mom bought it for him when she took him to buy cigarettes, and that he loved strawberry as much as she loved smoking. Through the day he repeated that fact for others, and at one point when he was telling that to his cousin I couldn’t watch it anymore, I told him that smoking was really bad, that it’s not a nice thing to do and that it damages your health. And me and his cousin made him agree that cigarettes smell bad. My SO wasn’t close to me when this happened but I told him what I had done and he agreed with me. Cut to today and my stepsons grandma is messaging my SO and she’s very angry at me for breaking the news about smoking for him because now he’s getting upset whenever he sees his mom and grandpa smoking, and that he’s too little to know those things. Also just to note that I didn’t go overboard talking about cancer or death, no pictures of smoking damage whatsoever, I literally just said it wasn’t good for you and that it will make you sick, I think my explanation was age appropriate. So, AITA?

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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We call it sliming because he just leaves a trail of spit and usually snot on my arm, neck, face, knee, chest, any skin he finds. He has his tongue out very often throughout the day and mouths me as often as I hold him (and my husband to extent but I def get the most of it). He does solids but is exclusively nursed otherwise. He hates fake nipples. He is nearly 10 months old and while he has been tongue out and face sucking for a few months now, it does seem to be getting more (putting his mouth in more places, tongue used to just be licking his top lip like he is concentrating or threading a needle but now it’s out and down like a happy golden retriever… and it’s just so wet). We’ve wondered if this is a teething thing? Or if he’s just orally fixated? Or I’m posting here to see if this is a breastfed babies thing? He can put his tongue in his mouth, babbles normally, sleeps with his mouth closed… so I don’t think this is a medical issue, just behavioral. I have lots of pictures of his tongue out but also lots of pictures with big smiles. I brought it up to pediatrician at last months visit, and she said it was normal but again it just seems to be progressing. Thoughts?

DAY: MAY 13, 2024

• 5-13-2024BIKING REVEALED TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH LESS KNEE PAIN LATER IN LIFE A study reveals that people who participated in regular bicycling over their lifetime had a lower prevalence of frequent knee pain, radiographic osteoarthritis (ROA) and symptomatic radiographic osteoarthritis (SOA). Rheumatologists often encourage regular physical activity for the prevention of osteoarthritis, the most common form of arthritis. However, some exercises are more effective than others.
• 5-13-2024STRESSFUL LIFE EVENTS CAN INCREASE YOUR RISK OF ALZHEIMER’S Stressful life events, such as the death of a loved one or divorce, put a person at greater risk of developing dementia in later life, a recent study has found. But only if the stressful event happened in childhood or midlife. The study included 1,290 people at increased risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease. The researchers looked at 18 stressful life events and when in people’s lives they happened.
• 5-13-2024TIPS FOR LOWERING STROKE RISK May is National Stroke Awareness Month, and as part of everyday awareness, Mayo Clinic health care professionals suggest reducing stroke risk and knowing the signs. A stroke happens every 40 seconds in the U.S., and the likelihood of stroke increases with age, according to the National Institutes of Health. Preventing a stroke is a crucial aspect of health care, as about 80% of all strokes are preventable. The focus is on managing risk factors to reduce the long-term risk of stroke.
• 5-13-2024IT’S TIME TO USE TIKTOK TO TALK TO YOUNG PEOPLE ABOUT OBESITY, SAYS RESEARCHER There is an urgent need to harness the potential of TikTok and other social media channels to provide scientific information about obesity to young people in engaging and accessible way . The popularity and broad reach of such platforms provides the opportunity to reach diverse audiences, including teenagers and young adults, explains lead researcher Dr. Antonella Franceschelli, of Unicamillus International Medical University, Rome, Italy.
• 5-13-2024WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER TAKE NUTRITION ADVICE FROM A CENTENARIAN It’s a cliche of reporting on people who reach 100 years of age, or even 110, to ask them some variation of the question: “What did you do to live this long?” Inevitably, some interesting and unexpected answer is highlighted. Fish and chips every Friday. Drinking a glass of strong liquor every day. Bacon for breakfast every morning. Wine and chocolate. While a popular news story, this is a relatively meaningless question that doesn’t help us understand why certain people have lived so long.
• 5-13-2024JUNK FOOD MARKETING ON VIDEOGAME LIVESTREAMING PLATFORMS INCREASES PURCHASES AND CONSUMPTION AMONG TEENS, STUDY FINDS Food and drink advertisements on videogame livestreaming platforms (VGLSPs) like Twitch are associated with more positive attitudes towards, and purchases and intake of, unhealthy foods that are high in fat, salt and/or sugar (HFSS) like energy drinks among adolescents aged 18 or younger. The concerning findings prompt researchers to call for stronger regulations on digital marketing of unhealthy foods to young people on these platforms, where there is currently no effective regulation
• 5-13-2024HIGHER BLOOD SUGAR LEVEL AT GESTATIONAL DIABETES DIAGNOSIS LINKED TO HARMFUL OUTCOMES FOR MOTHERS AND BABIES The higher the blood sugar level in pregnant women when first diagnosed with diabetes, the higher the risk of complications around and after birth
• 5-13-2024ASKING ADULTS WITH OBESITY ABOUT THEIR WEIGHT DURING CHILDHOOD COULD HELP DETERMINE THEIR MORTALITY RISK Being asked whether you considered yourself a normal weight, plumper or thinner as a child when attending a doctor’s appointment as an adult might appear like a very strange question to ask, but new research suggests that such questions can help identify increased mortality risk in adults living with obesity.
• 5-13-2024ENERGY DRINKS CAN LEAD TO SERIOUS HEART ISSUES IN KIDS AND TEENS, HEALTH EXPERTS SAY Hennessy Sepulveda thought she was going to die. “I began dissociating as I was driving. I was 10 minutes away from my house. My vision started warping and the lights were hitting me really bright,” she said. “I felt my chest pounding, I felt a wave of panic hit me—I knew something was wrong.” Sepulveda, a Florida International University student who was 19 at the time, was admitted to the hospital, and was surprised by the cause of her symptoms
• 5-13-2024A BLOOD TEST TO HELP DETECT LUNG CANCER? NEW TEST OFFERED AT 18 LOCATIONS Julie Harris had never been tested for lung cancer. A low-dose CT scan, the only recommended screening for adults at risk of developing lung cancer, was not something she’d ever found time to do. But when her primary care doctor recently suggested a new blood test to help look for signs of the disease, Harris was intrigued. She had her blood drawn the same day, in the same building as her doctor’s appointment.
• 5-13-2024STUDY SHOWS EXERCISING SLOWS OUR PERCEPTION OF TIME results of a new study show for the first time that individuals tend to experience time as moving slower when they are exercising compared to when they are resting or after completing their exercise.
• 5-13-2024BREAKTHROUGH THERAPIES ARE SAVING LIVES, BUT CAN WE AFFORD THEM? Harnessing the body’s own cells to fight disease, long a medical dream, is finally a reality. Now comes the bill. Last month, Stanford became the first hospital in the nation to use a new $515,000 cell therapy to treat a patient with advanced melanoma. A related approach, costing $420,000 to $475,000, is offering hope to patients with lethal blood cancers. Meanwhile, cells fixed by gene therapy can slow, even stop, the progression of intractable diseases like sickle cell or beta thalassemia—
• 5-13-2024RESEARCH FINDS DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME SPELLS BAD NEWS FOR HEALTHY HABITS
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Hi all, thought this might be fun, anyone want to help me brainstorm? I just found out that I'm having a boy - here is some back story and my name "mood board" criteria :)
-I also just found out he may have a heart defect so anything with a meaning like fighter or warrior might be comforting to me
-His biological dad isn't in the picture so I was originally leaning towards names like God's gift or wanted, treasure, something to reinforce what a miracle he is to me even though he wasn't planned
-A wonderful man from my past (that young-love/what-if's guy who says he always felt the same way after years apart) IS now in the picture and talking about being a stepdad, we'll see how it all shakes out -- the baby was going to have my last name which is French, but if we end up a blended family we'll all have an Irish last name. Originally I was leaning towards something that sounds French without being like, obnoxious (it's not like I'm culturally French or speak it etc, just want the names to sound good together)... but now I want something that sounds good with an Irish or French last name just in case. Both our last names have an O/Eau sound
-I like historic and or literary names; definitely want a unique but not "weird" name.
Okay so now the fun part. Here are some names I LIKE -
Girl names (n/a because of gender but still, for the Mood Board)-
-Ursula (ruined by the Disney sea witch haha but so pretty and love that it means Little Bear)
-Roxanne (ruined by the whole "put on the red light" thing)
-Billie
-Brice
-Odessa (I guess I like vowels)
-Vivienne
-Jasmine (don't usually love flower names but I think this one is so pretty and cool)
-Chantal
-Ira (love it as a girl name but I'm not Jewish so would be a stretch)
Boy names-
-Ulysses (honestly my #1 right now but maybe too out there? And I don't love that the meaning is "angry"... but I can picture little Uly running around, and it is a warrior name with an old-fashioned vibe)
-Seamus (classic but maybe TOO Irish), or Sean
-Hector (love the literary reference, the meaning, and how it's a little French but not sure if it rolls off the tongue... maybe my actual #1)
-Lemuel (ruined by the Mormon association hah, but love the vibe and Lem/Lemmy)
-Ezekiel or Zeke (too Biblical plus, the bread)
Any ideas that go with my vibe but aren't cracking the Top 100? Welcome to all suggestions! Thanks in advance <3

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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Sorry for any mistakes, English is not my first language. It’s a long story (get your popcorn ready)
So my(33f) whole life I have a very sensitive skin. It’s mostly painful but manageable for me to do manicure and pedicure, I don’t go to cosmetologist as I have a high risk of getting an allergy or redness. However, I like to dye my hair and I have been to numerous hairdressers as well as done it myself for about 15 years
Three years ago I had severe health problems which caused me to lose half of my hair (among other symptoms) and at one point I almost died. At that time I stopped dyeing my hair and chopped it off due to bad quality. 2,5 years later I’ve been feeling good, my hair grew out and I decided it’s time to make my 2 dreams come true: to donate my hair so they can make a wig for cancer patients and to dye the bob that will be after the haircut bright pink
I’ve spent a lot of time to find a hairdresser that would fit me. The one that chopped my hair didn’t work with bright colors and actually chopped off 10cm more than I asked. I was sad but ok as it went for charity
After a few month I finally found the one that had pretty good works and the price was good enough
When I came to the appointment It felt weird, I think we didn’t clicked, but were pretty respectful towards each other. I told her right away that I have sensitive skin and she seemed ok with that
Although I didn’t like that she didn’t ask for my permission to take photos or videos for her social media, and I was just told that she will take them after she finishes her work. I swallowed it as I always supportive of hairdressers, makeup artists etc. I loved her work on me and was absolutely happy, but during the filming she was irritated that I’m posing not like she wanted although I never got the instructions
A few days later she posted an IG reel with me and she put a filter on my face for a preview picture. Mind you, I almost haven’t recognized myself. She never asked me if I’m ok with that. I was livid but once again swallowed it because it’s so hard to find a good hairdresser where I live
During the next appointment she held her blowing dryer too close to my head that it felt like it burned a hole in my head. I politely asked to hold it a bit further and she reacted normally, and tried to do so. Sometimes she pulled my hair too much and I made some quiet noises as I can’t control my reaction
During the third appointment she fucked up with bleaching my roots and I got a light strip 1 cm wide. At first it wasn’t noticeable due to the lighting and I saw it the next day and sent her a message right away. She never apologized and tried to make it seem like it was my fault, but eventually said to come to her salon to fix it (for free ofc). Her fixing didn’t help that time and the next one. So I had to walk like that for 2 months. She never acknowledged her fault, and newer apologized. Okay, things happen, I understand. I swallowed my frustration once again
Now to the main problem. I’ve been at her salon for 5-6 times and after at least the last three of them I’ve noticed that she washed my had very bad leaving A LOT of dye. This caused a very painful itching after only 2-3 hours after the appointment was finished and the last time this itching continued for two weeks. Okay, she has only 3-4 years of experience, I get it, mistakes happen. I thought that I would talk to her about this and it will be better
Yesterday was my last appointment. I addressed my concerns in a very polite manner, she tried to break my speech answering that it’s the dye that is so strong or the bleach causes the irritation and she is not sure it can be fixable. I told her that I have years of experience and never had this problem before. I’m just asking her to wash my head more thoroughly. She agreed to try
Well, the issue seemed resolved, she have bleached my roots and the part she fucked up before, washed my hair and started to blow drying it before dyeing. During the blow drying part I felt that she holds the blow dryer too close to my head again (mind you, when it’s just hot I remain silent, I say something only when I can’t bear the pain), I again asked her very politely to hold it a bit further
In response she started to raise her voice (not screaming) telling me how it irritates her that I have sensitive skin and I always say that it’s too hot, to painful or that I have allergic reaction. She said it’s uncomfortable for her to work like this with me and this is the last time [she allows me to say things like that]. She said that next time things will be different
I was shocked and said that I didn’t choose to have sensitive skin or get an allergic reaction. What should I have to do? To shut up when I’m in unbearable pain or have an allergy?
She responded only that she is uncomfortable with me and her other clients never have this problem
I said okay and sat completely silent and shocked knowing I will never be back as it was the last nail in the coffin
She dyed my hair, washed it again (surprisingly, she did it the exact way I asked for) and dried it. During drying she once again held the blow dryer so close to my head that I had to tilt in other direction from her in absolute pain and put my cold fingers on that place for a half a minute. She just remained silent looking more irritated and started to hold the blow dryer too far like on purpose
After she finished I paid for the service, came back home and blocked her. I never want to see her again or interact with her
Now, to my question: my husband said that blocking her was an overreaction, and I could just unfollowed her (she didn’t follow me). He didn’t say that in any rude way or so, just his opinion. I didn’t think I overreacted, but maybe I did? Idk, what do you think? Am I wrong in my reaction?

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The EXTREMELY detailed, mega-anxiety edition!!! Major events like consult and surgery day are labeled like this:
——— EVENT TITLE ———
Surgeon was Dr. David Whitehead and I saw him on Long Island (New Hyde)
Summarized list of major dates:
Consult: July 19 2023 Mental health letter acquired: August 9 Dates discussed: September 12 Pre-op appointment: December 18 Surgery day: January 8 2024 Post-op: January 17
November 11th 2022: Emailed northwell health for the first time, they emailed back saying to call. I was too anxious so I avoided it for a few months.
Called northwell a few months later but got too anxious talking to the person who picked up. They were being normal and talking normally, it was just personal anxiety on my part.
October 2022 - Early March 2023: Spent time talking to trans friends and family members about their timelines and processes for top surgery.
Looked into Penn medicine for a bit but wasn’t happy with the surgeons there, specifically as a nonbinary person. The patient navigational team however is lovely.
March 2: emailed Penn health patient navigation
March 3-10: correspondence and phone calls w patient navigation (absolutely wonderful people, some of the easiest phone calls I’ve ever had) Got lots of into on surgeons, things I’d need, processes etc.
Date unknown: phone call to Penn medicine asking about surgeons and possibly setting up as a patient (v long wait time on phone) Surgeon I had heard good things about only works w CHOP program and I’m was too old for that program. Other surgeons I was v iffy on.
March 23rd: Back to square 1. Called northwell again to set up an appointment. Everyone I spoke to was really nice. Could have set up an appointment within the week but decided to wait till the end of the semester. Scheduled a trans care and primary care appointment for May
Couple of calls In between for confirmations. Trans care appointment got moved around a bit and ended up being moved to a phone call.
May 8th: Trans care call: Basic preliminary questions like: Emergency contact, what you’re looking for, are you thinking of looking into hormones, experience w dysphoria or dysmorphia, mental health, and eating/nutritional concerns, things you might want doc to know, piercings or tattoos, do you do any drugs or drink often, etc. total call time was about 20 minutes. Doctor was incredibly kind, I still experienced a good deal of anxiety but the call was super easy, welcoming, and friendly. Got sent contact referrals for the surgeons, as well as trans-friendly therapists under my insurance.
May 9th: started looking at list of therapists and making respective emails and calls. Checking per session costs and double checking insurance. Most charge 100-150 per session. Got in contact w one.
May 10th: Called w first therapist talking about what I’m looking for, where I am in this process, if parents are supportive, and talking about costs. She was very friendly and affirming, wants to have a few sessions to get to know me and my situation before writing a letter. Understandable and expected, but frustrating.
May 15th: Primary care appointment: Went to northwell health primary care, parkinglot was a little scary (just a large lot with a lot of cars) but everyone working there’s is super kind. Office is incredibly affirming, pride flags and lgbtq+ art everywhere. Gave my insurance card, filled out some paper work, got called in pretty quickly. I have a needle phobia and medical trauma so I was panicking a bit in the office, nurse was good w me about it and doctor was very kind, I just requested to not have any blood work done that day and that was totally fine, so I could schedule that at a later date and go w a friend. Recommended to get blood work done before scheduling a consult w a surgeon. Also prescribed me a single dose anxiety med for the bloodwork which I was very happy about. I found over time that the anxiety meds unfortunately do little to nothing for my panic attacks personally when it comes to needles but regardless having a doctor acknowledge and respect that fear and listen to me was incredibly helpful and reassuring.
May 30th: Got blood work done in a different lab, went w a friend. Scheduling for that is super easy, I think I did it online actually I don’t entirely recall. they do take walk ins but I made an appointment to minimize complications and make sure I could prepare properly. Front desk/lobby area was a little spooky, but I think that is mainly just bc of my social anxiety. They take a urine sample, you give them your prescription, eventually they call you over for blood work. Quick and easy, tech was v nice and having a friend with me was incredibly helpful. Probably the best I’ve ever done with a needle despite the fact that I did still panic and get very lightheaded lol.
Got blood work results back within the next couple days, all looks a-okay! Neat :)
June 15th This day was incredibly difficult. I had my first session with a therapist to establish some ground knowledge around my dysphoria and the way that I view myself. Top surgery is something that I know from research and related experience Can be difficult and expensive to get and can take time, so much of my prep work has been on the understanding of taking things a step at a time and just knowing that the current way things are doesn’t have to be forever. It allowed me to be able to live with myself while prioritizing my health better. This read to the therapist as “not having the level of dysphoria [she’s] come to expect and look for in someone who is trans” and was largely based off the fact that I don’t want to go on hrt. Past that point I started to break down because now my method of learning to live with myself felt like it was actively going to work against me and prevent me from getting top surgery. I’m not good at talking about my dysphoria, I can’t imagine it’s easy for anyone, especially to a stranger I just met. It was rough, and I felt incredibly mentally drained after ending the session.
June 19th Called it quits with the first therapist, I felt incredibly disrespected and the one session we had put me in a mental spiral for days. It can feel some times in this process like the people you have to get permission from need you to be severely depressed and unable to wait another second for this procedure just in order to take you seriously.
After I left that therapist, I immediately got back to the list to find someone new. Spoke to a new therapist via email, but my insurance is kinda weird (Blue Cross Blue Shield out of state) so its off putting to some people. This therapist recommended I go through the office she started out at (Heart and Soul Counseling)
————- Time Skip ——————
IM BACK its time for some record keeping. Got super overwhelmed and lost the energy to document my process for some time so here goes.
HEART AND SOUL COUNSELING: My experience w/ this therapy office was mostly good. The person in charge, Jesse, was absolutely lovely and responsive. Never spoke in person, but any text/email interaction was prompt, respectful, and kind. The office is stellar with email/text communication, so I only ever had to call them once when I was initially inquiring about the office. This is something I wish all therapy/counseling centers did better, eliminated a ton of my anxiety and hesitation to speak to therapists.
I got set up w someone as quickly as possible and established what my goal was (to acquire letter document for my surgery team). I attended multiple session w the therapist, she was a kind lady but the sessions were unfortunately p miserable for me. We didn’t fit well, but I was willing to stick it out rather than backtrack on my process. She also did not invalidate me or accuse me of not being trans which was a major step up from my first therapy experience. Once I acquired my letter I did stop therapy there, I kindly explained to the therapist that it wasn’t a good match, but I may honestly explore my options at the office in the future. Receptionist there was also lovely and they had a cool fish tank.
———- CONSULT STARTS HERE —————
July 19th: CONSULT!!! My mama and I went to Dr. David Whiteheads office for a consult. Parking was a nightmare so I’m super glad I didn’t have to drive for this one (ty mama). Consult went really well, and the staff were all super friendly. Dr. Whitehead is cool, very chill energy and a bit intimidating, but I’m scared of everyone so that’s nothing new. First question he asked me is what I wanted/what he could do for me which caught me more off guard than it should have? I didn’t realize going into this process how many times people ask you what you’re having done even if it’s already written down, because there’s so much variety in what you can look for in the results.
We talked about the procedure, went through a slideshow n stuff, and discussed how I wanted a flat chest w/ no nipple preservation. They made sure to specify that my mental health professional letter had to include that I did not want nipple preservation because thats technically a “non-standard” appearance. Also had the first breast exam I’ve ever had in my life. Can’t say i’m a fan (not that I need to worry about that anymore!) Took pictures n measurements n such, and also discussed recovery supplies and care w me and my mom.
August 9th: After a plethora of painfully awkward therapy sessions, a decent amount of crying, and a couple breakdowns in friends cars/backyards, I got my therapist letter and sent it to the surgeons office. It ended up needing minor revisions to which I contacted Jesse from Heart and Soul and he got me the revised letter immediately. Unfortunately the surgical coordinator was out of office for the rest of the month the next day ;w;. Is how it be.
September 12th: Got a call from Surgical coordinator mid-painting class that I stepped out to take. Started discussing surgical dates!! She was kind enough to email the dates to me which was lovely because I was absolutely shaking/mind blank haha. There was an option for January 8th which felt like an absolute miracle the way it would work with my school schedule. It would give me a solid two weeks recovery time before spring semester began. Because it would be a couple months out, I was asked to contact her in the second week of October to submit documents to insurance.
(Timeline note: earliest date offered was in early December)
October 10th: Documents sent to insurance, predetermination started
October 30th: Received mail from my insurance approving my procedure as medically necessary (YAY) But! This is also where things get,,, fun! Dr Whitehead’s surgical coordinator, Alyssa, is a blessing and was very helpful and prompt with me despite the fact that I had to email her pretty constantly during this general time which I still feel bad about.
Around this time, my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer, which I reported to the surgical coordinator because it influences my family history (grandmother also had breast cancer). It was asked that I get genetic testing done because this could impact my surgical procedure. Now I’m handling the setup on this between helping my mom in her process setting up consults and considering her options because there of course is a lot of crossover to the steps I’ve already completed and am familiar with.
November 1st: Very kind person at cancer genetics calls me, sends me a family history questionnaire to fill out before I can be scheduled to see a genetic counselor. Filled out the questionnaire the same day.
November 8th: Called cancer genetics to check about scheduling, office was not open so left a message. Got a call back later in the day. I have a virtual appointment with a Genetic counselor Tuesday the 14th. Current plan is a mailed saliva genetic test but I’m going to ask if theres anything I can do to get results/materials quicker. If I can’t get results/feedback by December 8th my surgery date may get deferred.
Trying not to stress too much because there is little to nothing I can do about this, and I just don’t want to be sad. I’ve kept telling myself throughout this process to not get excited and not let myself believe anything is solid because something could happen at any time that might mess up my schedule or plan, and If I convince myself I’m in the clear, those changes will hurt a lot more. So far I think thats been a good move, because this really sucks.
My surgery date is still officially scheduled as of now as well as my first post-op. I will also ideally have pre-surgical testing done December 18th should I be cleared by genetics in time (Fingers crossed!)
ALSO! Def lean on friends if/when you can during this process. It can absolutely be challenging, and having a support system is incredibly important and helpful. I’m super lucky to have really lovely and supportive friends that are around to listen to me and send me pictures of stupid little animals.
November 9th: My mama is scheduled for her double mastectomy on December 4th
November 10th: Did some shopping with my mama for recovery supplies for double mastectomy/top surgery. Having watched a million and a half transition/top surgery videos and tiktoks and having read all the blogs and posts and tweets makes you a great support for someone suddenly faced with an upcoming double mastectomy! We might go shopping this weekend for some button ups and zip ups for her, clothes shopping is better done when you can try stuff on
November 14th: Meeting w genetic counselor: Victoria Webb, one of the loveliest medical care workers I’ve ever met. Had a virtual appointment with her to discuss and set up genetic testing. I explained to her about my situation w the proximity of my surgery and tight deadline as well as my willingness to do a blood test instead of a saliva kit to get results quicker. She was so incredibly kind and good with me, ended up being able to do a saliva kit and get results in time she deserves every good thing in life.
December 18th: pre-surgical testing: This was at the main hospital, everyone was really nice but I had a really bad panic attack despite being on Xanax.
The process is sort of like getting a physical. Measurements like weight and blood pressure get taken, lots of preliminary health questions. The people working with me were really kind and I was very open with them about my anxiety, it was visually apparent though anyway because I started crying the second we even started talking about the blood draw.
Once the equipment was actually brought into the room I started to panic. Both of the women working with me were really kind and helpful and tried to distract me and keep me talking the entire time, but I did still have a really horrible panic attack. Every muscle in my body locked up and I lost all my color, took a bit to get back to a spot where I could move and talk properly because my speech was affected too. It was a bit scary but funny to think about in post. Thanked the medical staff for being patient w me as always, a good portion of the anxiety is also guilt about making things harder for them. Got through it tho. Def eat before presurgical if allowed, I didn’t and that probably didn’t help!!
———- SURGERY DAY ————-
January 8th:
Ok so surgery day:
This day was very scary. Got my phone call the Friday prior for my surgery time which ended up being 1pm and I was asked to arrive around 11. Got there at 10 and went in at 10:30.
Called up to check in then in waiting room till someone brought me back to change. I told her right away about my anxiety with the iv bc that’s legit all I could think about. Got changed right after. I was generally shaky and a little disoriented the entire time because I was panicking but everyone was very patient with me. Clothes and belongings go in a bag in a locker and you get two gowns one that faces back and one that faces front. I was given underwear and a pad as well because lucky me I got my period a couple days before my surgery.
The pre-op area is a lot of little cubicles with curtain divider things, blue soft chairs, and medical equipment. Everyone I met and spoke to was very kind, but any time someone even suggested starting my iv I would panic. I was informed it would have to be placed in my hand and that terrified me, I’m especially anxious and sensitive about my hands and fingers. I think doctors and nurses tend to misunderstand exactly where my fear is with needles and ivs. It isn’t the pain that scares me, but the concept of veins and and anything being in them. Even writing this right now is horrible so I’m going to stop w any further detail. I spent the entire two-ish hours of pre-op absolutely terrified about this iv.
I wasn’t really keeping track of time but dr whitehead came in to do markings for surgery. They had cool rainbow socks on,big fan. Having your chest drawn on and just like, moved around n shit is such an experience. Felt bad because I kept losing my balance but doctor Whitehead is cool and I am 98% less scared about them now.
Probably my most favorite person I met during my entire hospital experience was the anesthesiologist. I know he told me what his name was but I couldn’t focus on or retain information at the time. He told me we could essentially put me to sleep with gas before putting the iv in and for the first time in probably a solid week I felt like I could calm down a little. He took a look at my hand and arm to check my veins which always does freak me out a bit but I’m more used to that kind of thing at this point and I know nothing bad is going to happen. One of the nurses came in with the iv equipment and he let her know that were going to wait till in the or which was also incredibly helpful because I absolutely panicked when I saw that little supply kit again.
V nice lady brought me into the or, I’d never been in one before it was cool. They had a little music speaker which was really cool. Took off blue jacket gown and they helped me onto the table. They put a warm blanket over my legs and my chest to help me calm down. Before long they gave me a mask w fun happy sleepy time gas, they let me keep my arms on my chest for a while which was really nice because I was still scared. I started getting loopy pretty fast but I still heard when someone mentioned where the iv equipment was and panicked a little because of that. I remember feeling them take my hand for that but never actually felt anything happen. Just some fear but the gas was v helpful obvi. Someone said they would see me in a little bit, and then I was groggily waking up in recovery.
Recovery was a little rough bc the iv was still there (fully wrapped up so I couldn’t see it though which was rad) but I was still really anxious about it until it was taken out and when it was taken out. For anyone that struggles w this i did not feel them remove it, just the tape. Everything was mentally much easier after that. After a while, going over instructions w parents, a cracker , some ginger ale and some juice, my dad helped me Get dressed and I was helped out to the car in a wheel chair. Ride was smooth bc of remaining numbness and meds except a few Bumps in the road
TOP SURGERY GOTTEN
My post op date was scheduled for Jan 17th and that’s the day I got my drains out followed by several post op check-ins. First week of recovery was miserable but things exponentially approved each day past that, and I went back to school in person two weeks post-op with driving and item-carrying assistance from friends!
Will upload recovery notes at a later date! Feel free to message me with any questions, more than happy to answer and give info! I’m a bit over four months out from surgery now and thriving 🥳

I don’t deserve the air I breathe...
Hello.
Before I get into my story, I have one question for you: Is there any chance for redemption for the hell and hurt you’ve caused in this life?
I am 23 years old. I’ve had horrible suicidal depression my whole life. I have been addicted to fentanyl since 15. A little under two years ago, I had 3 wrecks in a year nodding off behind the wheel. Thankfully, I didn’t injure anyone physically, but I totaled both vehicles in all 3 incidents.
The first one involved a single mother and her barely kindergarten aged child. I can’t get the picture of the fear in that baby’s eyes out of my head. I could have killed them both, and that should have been bad enough to stop me from using while driving but i did it again and again. Enough to have two more wrecks and cause even more financial and emotional burdens on everyone involved.
My parents have done everything they can do for me. They’ve sent me to rehabs, supported me every step of the way, bought me vehicle after vehicle even after the wrecks.
My mom had fucking CANCER during this time and I stole money from them to get a fix. WHILE SHE WAS FUCKING DYING.
I feel like I don’t even deserve to be alive. Is there any chance for redemption at this point? Or should I just give up now and squash any chance of causing any future pain for other innocent people?
I can’t live with myself, I can barely leave home, I can barely function.
I just want to find these people I wrecked into and beg for their forgiveness. Even if the situation is long over with and everything is settled, the guilt still remains and it makes me want to destroy myself.
Thankfully I had insurance and they all got new vehicles but that doesn’t make anything better. It doesn’t take away the fear and pain and financial hardship I caused these innocent people.
How do I learn to live with myself again?
Is there any hope of redemption?
Do I deserve to even live at this point?

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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Hello.
Before I get into my story, I have one question for you: Is there any chance for redemption for the hell and hurt you’ve caused in this life?
I am 23 years old. I’ve had horrible suicidal depression my whole life. I have been addicted to fentanyl since 15. A little under two years ago, I had 3 wrecks in a year nodding off behind the wheel. Thankfully, I didn’t injure anyone physically, but I totaled both vehicles in all 3 incidents.
The first one involved a single mother and her barely kindergarten aged child. I can’t get the picture of the fear in that baby’s eyes out of my head. I could have killed them both, and that should have been bad enough to stop me from using while driving but i did it again and again. Enough to have two more wrecks and cause even more financial and emotional burdens on everyone involved.
My parents have done everything they can do for me. They’ve sent me to rehabs, supported me every step of the way, bought me vehicle after vehicle even after the wrecks.
My mom had fucking CANCER during this time and I stole money from them to get a fix. WHILE SHE WAS FUCKING DYING.
I feel like I don’t even deserve to be alive. Is there any chance for redemption at this point? Or should I just give up now and squash any chance of causing any future pain for other innocent people?
I can’t live with myself, I can barely leave home, I can barely function.
I just want to find these people I wrecked into and beg for their forgiveness. Even if the situation is long over with and everything is settled, the guilt still remains and it makes me want to destroy myself.
Thankfully I had insurance and they all got new vehicles but that doesn’t make anything better. It doesn’t take away the fear and pain and financial hardship I caused these innocent people.
How do I learn to live with myself again?
Is there any hope of redemption?
Do I deserve to even live at this point?

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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Firstly English isn’t my mother tongue so apologies if things are spelled wrong.
My fiancée and I have been together for 7 years bought an apartment together 3 years ago. I would say everything about our relationship is perfect and I do cherish and admire her very much.
However over the past 6 months Ive notice she’s becoming more and more extreme with her views towards men.
It started off with oh this one guy “insert remark” To “many men are so insert remark” And now is “every man is insert remark”
This has become a daily occurrence.
Every day when I get home from work I’m hit with
“I watched at tiktok today and men are the worst. Men are a cancer. Men are etc etc”
Two of her friends that she’s only recently become close with are also very anti men and I can’t help but feel are a toxic influence on her.
I suggested maybe taking time off TikTok but she does have quite a large following (around 90k followers) and it’s a part of her income now so she can’t just walk away from it. She also has a career in the medical field so it’s not her only income.
Any time I sit down and ask her to actually explain what the issues are and I genuinely want to get her pov on it. She just hits me with “men are just men” and doesn’t go into a deeper explanation than that.
I’ve asked if she’s ever experienced first hand situations where shes been a victim of unpleasant situations by men and she said no nothing outside of the random catcall (which I acknowledge is pathetic and unpleasant) but nothing more than that.
Any advice on how to handle this?

So, basically, everything started 2 years ago when I moved to a new house in another city to finish my major in IT. In this republic where a lot of students live (8 at the time), my best friend and I went to live there. Upon arriving, I met this female (21), let’s call her S. We started talking and getting intimate even though she seemed like a good person. However, things happened and I tried to get away from her. But since she is crazy and we live in the same house, that did not work too well. She would do things like lock me in the house with her and hide the key, send her grandma to my house asking me to get with her, and all kinds of messed up things that I’m not writing here (if you want to know, ask in the comments).
It was basically more than a year like that. We were not in a relationship or anything, but that did not matter to her. Everyone at the republic knew but no one ever spoke about it and chose silence, even my best friend. I felt kind of bad because when he needed me, I was there for him. I tried to talk to him but he would always change the subject and did not like to get involved.
It was a year and a half like that. I literally would sleep from 2 am to 12 pm, wake up, go to college, and then come back at 11:00 pm so I wouldn’t interact with her. So, I started talking to a girl at my college and followed her on Instagram (I think that was my mistake where I am now). She followed me back. At first, I was really not looking for a relationship or anything, but I really liked her. She was a cool friend. But S did not like that, not even a little bit. How do I know that? I always was low profile. I did not like posting any photos on social media and all of that. My Instagram does not have a profile pic as well and I did not use it until recently, so I know that if I followed someone new, she would know.
So, after that, things kept going and I was not speaking to her. I had two best friends, one lived with me and the other one lived in my city. So, we used to gather at my place every Sunday and do something. It would come, he and his friends. One day we were talking and this best friend of mine showed his cellphone to this other friend with messages from her. I know that because this friend used to message a girl even though I was already talking to her. And when he showed the message to this other friend (let’s call this one L, he is going to be important later), he looked at me and said “you are screwed” and then we changed the subject.
So, for the next month, I kept my normal life as normal but she and my other friend (let’s call him F) started acting suspicious with her. I tried believing him and pretended I was blind and did not give a damn but he would always make things for me which he did not used to do. He started changing things in his life like going to college all day which was a thing I used to ask him to do so I wouldn’t stay all day by myself in college. He would talk about friendship a lot. I would also reply normally and then I felt like he was being an asshole and got mad at him and stopped talking to him so he would understand that I would do what he was doing (mainly the reason was I would not do that to him). And once she said all of my friends were assholes (she was right in here at least). So, going forward, I would speak to him but if he needed something or talked to me, I would respond normally but was still mad because of all of my friends, he was the one I trusted the most. He acted as if nothing was wrong which I felt he was at the time.
Then one day we were at the basketball game and he said to a lot of teammates that I stopped talking to him and he did not know the motive. So, on Sunday at my house with my friend L, he asked if I was not talking to F. I said that we are kind of in the middle of a fight but if they wanted to call him, they could. Then L said he would not call him since we were not on good terms And then I said okay, and after that, he asked what the reason was. I told him the story, saying I was mad because I felt like F was manipulating me. L believed that my friend F was a good guy because he has a girlfriend and all (he betrayed her after 5 years of relationship with his neighbor, which I knew and L did not, and I did not tell him of course, I ain’t no snitch). So, days passed and it was the birthday of S’s cousins, which I used to go to in previous years, so it was planned (she and her cousins are very close) because his birthday this time was at a public place, in a bar to be more exact. After getting there, I had a surprise because she was with another guy at a table, so everyone got mad at me because “I fought my best friend because of her”.
So, one day after that, my “friend” L said everything to his friend (I’ll call this one Y). So, Y and her had a past together and he did not like her at all. He was my friend too, we’ve known each other for the past 8 years. And then this friend got mad at me as well and everyone started making jokes and all, and I said okay, maybe I was wrong and went to talk to F. I called this other friend to go with me at the time because we used to live together in the past and he grew up together with us. When we arrived at his place, he asked us to wait. So, when he arrived, we started talking. I said I would never do something to mess up his life and he said that everything I thought to be true was only things from my head (as if I was crazy). He said sorry for doing something I did not do and asked if we were alright, and then I said no, we were not. I asked him to come to my house the other day and he came but acted as if nothing was wrong. We talked, joked around, and he went away. I still did not understand, but something was off.
So, days come and everyone on the chat group started wishing I was dead every day, which I felt bad about, not gonna lie. And then the break from college came to an end and I got back to college. But when getting there to play basketball, everyone was acting strange with me. I’m kinda skinny, well I’m way too skinny (I weigh 88 pounds) and they were guarding me with everything they had. I did not understand why, but I quit and went home. The other day, I called my friend F and asked him if he told something to them and he said no, I did not say anything, and then went away. After that, I started asking myself what happened, which messes you up when everyone refuses to talk to you. So, I stopped going to college for a month and when I came back to college, everyone in the college was looking at me with disdain. A lot of them would look away when they saw me. I did not notice until I got to the classroom. When getting there, I chose my place and sat.
So, in this class, there is this girl (I’ll call her C). You know, from when I started college, I ain’t going to lie, she was my first passion. I used to go and wait for her bus to come and take her home and all of that, so she would not go alone at night. But then came the pandemic and we did not talk anymore (mainly my fault). So, coming back to the classroom, she got up and then looked at me. I would not say disgust, but like kinda mad at me, but I did not understand at the time. So, I asked this friend for his water bottle because I forgot mine and when I got up to go to the drinking fountain, he said you can right there, do not need to go anywhere. I did not understand what he was saying but did not give a damn because he is a really good friend, he kinda helped me. And then she got up again. I, knowing her, knew she was trying to tell me something but did not know what. Then this friend (I’ll call him P) asked me to tell the professor why I did not come to his class for almost a month and I said okay and went to talk to him. I said, while everyone was listening, that I did not come because somethings were happening in my life and then he said it’s okay. I went back to my place and at the end of the class, I went out to the bathroom and when I came back, my things were on the ground, which I did not notice why at all. And then this guy came to me and asked if those things that were on the ground were mine. I was making a group with this girl since when the professor asked if someone wanted to make groups with me, they all said no. The professor even asked like that “Why? You guys don’t like him?” I did not understand why as well and just laughed. So, this girl that was making a group with me, when I came back from the bathroom, asked me to take photos of the papers. I said that it did not need to and then she insisted and I said okay and took the photo. When I got home, I was looking at the photos of the papers and I saw a photo I did not remember taking. It was the legs of someone which I assumed took my cellphone and took it. I kinda went into my head thinking what caused this issue. And then I remembered something I told F a while ago because he knew about this girl from the past. So, one day I was in the classroom with She also got up and went to fill her water bottle. I asked her to fill mine as well, but when doing that, I kind of got up and she thought I would go with her, but I did not. :( When she came back, she sat at her chair and lied down, which made me feel bad because I like her. She did not come the next week and the next, she was sitting behind me. She had her bottle on the chair and then I asked her, ‘Can I take your bottle?’ She said, ‘For what?’ I took it anyways and filled her bottle, came back to class, and gave it to her. She said thank you and I told F about this situation, which I thought was the reason.
Then, the other day in the classroom, I came back because there was a misunderstanding and she did not come. I thought she did not want to talk to me and I did not come for the next 2 weeks. Then, I came back on test day and like always, I sit at the same place in the classroom and she knows that, so she sat close to me on the day, which made me happy. Her friends would come every so often and pretend like they would kick my backpack. She got angry at them, looked at them, and they stopped. Then, after that day, I do not know what she said, but everyone treated me normally with no issues and I could come back to college.
So, until here, I have a clue or other about what happened, but I still needed to know who would say something like this to mess me up. Then, I remembered Y because every time something would happen, he would post something on Instagram. When I came back to play basketball in my city, everyone was treating me like crap and then everyone was saying to me that Y was my rival. I did not care that much, I thought they were joking. Then, one of his friends asked if he could sleep in the republic with my mattress and I said, ‘Yes, you can.’ Days later, Y on the group chat asked this friend of his if things went all right and then he responded saying, ‘Yes, everything went all right.’ (He probably slept with S on my mattress.) So, I started asking why he would be so mad at me and something came to my head.
So, Y’s father died of cancer and one day, F and I were at his house. When we were getting out, F looked away and passed this door without looking. Then, I came behind him, looked at the room, and it was Y’s father. He could not talk because his cancer was on his tongue. I looked at him and gave him a thumbs up and he did the same to me. Then, out of his house, I asked F why he would look away in that situation and he said to me, ‘I can’t even look because I pity him.’ Then, I said I would not pity him because I would not like people to pity me. But what F said to him was something different and he believed it. Then, he started threatening, not directly of course, and saying things to all the city like I used to have this friend when growing up and he went to jail because he killed somebody. I told this thing that happened to my friend F that when we were young, 10 years old to be more exact, he kissed a girl I used to like and then I went home and started crying. I said that, but if I remember, in that house, the room where S stays, she can hear us and she probably told Y.
Then, I went to my friend who killed someone’s house (his mom sells food, I buy there since I was a kid). After getting there, I bought my food and when going home, his brother and his friend got up on a motorcycle and passed very close to me as if they were telling me something. I did not understand why as well, but after some time, I understood. So, he is probably not stopped until I’m dead or he kills me and since everyone believes him, I can’t do anything. So, I ask, what can I do in this situation?"