Currently, I'm on a LOA (leave of absence) from my job due to my mental health. I've been receiving treatment for depression even before I started here, but this job is making it worse.
I'm in retail sales and I get amazing benefits, plus I get paid well. The dress code is also very tame and I get the option to have colored hair and piercings. I've never faced any discrimination from my coworkers, I'm in the middle upper rankings for the store/company, and my coworkers/customers generally speak highly of me. All this is to say that I like a lot about my job, but I really can't stand sales.
Sales and the amount of hours worked really has been what's taking a toll on my mental health (I'm scheduled 8.5hrs at a time, and I'm going overtime nearly every week). I've been wanting to go back to school for a while now as well, but it just wont be in the cards for me as long as I'm working this job. I feel like I'm just hitting a wall right now and I'm not able to move forward. I already know that I can't stay at this job since my health has just gotten worse since being there, but I'm unsure of how to go about quitting.
If I give my two weeks now, it would mean that I quit when my LOA ends, and I would owe part of an insurance premium to my work. I'm getting short-term disability benefits, and had to sign a document that mentioned owing an insurance premium to the company if I decide not to return to work. I tried looking more into that, and everything I found was pretty vague. From what I understand though, is that if employment is terminated for any reason within 30 days of my LOA, I owe that premium. I'm not sure how much it is, but I'm guessing around $400. (I'm in Colorado if anyone knows more than me about that.)
Additionally, I have about 3 months worth of savings to live on. There's the possibility that I may find a job quickly, but I'm not sure how long it would take. It makes me nervous that I've been hearing about some people going unemployed for 6 months or more. My parents offered to help me out as well, but that's much more of a last resort to me.
Of course, another option is returning to work and searching for a job. I'm a little more hesitant about this idea because I know that my mental health would get worse again. It is the safer option financially, but probably not safer for me.
If anyone has advice, it'd be greatly appreciated, thank you.

Currently, I'm on a LOA (leave of absence) from my job due to my mental health. I've been receiving treatment for depression even before I started here, but this job is making it worse.
I'm in retail sales and I get amazing benefits, plus I get paid well. The dress code is also very tame and I get the option to have colored hair and piercings. I've never faced any discrimination from my coworkers, I'm in the middle upper rankings for the store/company, and my coworkers/customers generally speak highly of me. All this is to say that I like a lot about my job, but I really can't stand sales.
Sales and the amount of hours worked really has been what's taking a toll on my mental health (I'm scheduled 8.5hrs at a time, and I'm going overtime nearly every week). I've been wanting to go back to school for a while now as well, but it just wont be in the cards for me as long as I'm working this job. I feel like I'm just hitting a wall right now and I'm not able to move forward. I already know that I can't stay at this job since my health has just gotten worse since being there, but I'm unsure of how to go about quitting.
If I give my two weeks now, it would mean that I quit when my LOA ends, and I would owe part of an insurance premium to my work. I'm getting short-term disability benefits, and had to sign a document that mentioned owing an insurance premium to the company if I decide not to return to work. I tried looking more into that, and everything I found was pretty vague. From what I understand though, is that if employment is terminated for any reason within 30 days of my LOA, I owe that premium. I'm not sure how much it is, but I'm guessing around $400. (I'm in Colorado if anyone knows more than me about that.)
Additionally, I have about 3 months worth of savings to live on. There's the possibility that I may find a job quickly, but I'm not sure how long it would take. It makes me nervous that I've been hearing about some people going unemployed for 6 months or more. My parents offered to help me out as well, but that's much more of a last resort to me.
Of course, another option is returning to work and searching for a job. I'm a little more hesitant about this idea because I know that my mental health would get worse again. It is the safer option financially, but probably not safer for me.
If anyone has advice, it'd be greatly appreciated, thank you.

Campaign is set on the continent of Windermere. About 150 years ago the dwarves, elves, and their human allies who already had control of much of the continent tried to take full control from the beastkind and races they deemed lesser than themselves. The rest of the races banded together to fight back and almost lost, but the well trained knights and military of the dragonborn joined the fight and fought back the dwarves into their mountain region and home in the south-west; Uthakar, which left the elves to retreat back to their forest home of Nilyra-el.
After the war, the dragonborn settled and built three military/border control like cities along the northern border of Uthakar. This was to make sure that the dwarves could not try to take power from the rest of the world again. The elves, no longer having their more powerful allies to aid them, have mostly kept to their lands in the north-east.
Years later, there’s mostly peace on the continent. Cities and borders have been set as the world furthered into an age of working together after the wars. Rumors of a strange, dwarven ran, mercenary group pops up. The rise in information and history gatherers from the Dragon ran, island sized, library on Vesleria has increased as the dragon's reach out for more items of history, gossip, and information on the ongoings in the world. There are ongoing stories and rumors about sailors and the like never returning from voyages beyond the seas of Windermere as the continent takes the newfound prosperity and groups begin their try to explore the rest of their world.
This story starts out on a smaller scale though, the adventurers drawn in, whether for money, gossip, or their own goals to do good and be heroes, to the town of Toridge. Word has gotten around about what seems to be a normal agricultural town, almost large enough to be called a city by some, being targeted by a group of bandits. From what our adventurers have gathered on their journeys before coming to the town, is that the attacks seem far more targeted than just bandits after money or the like. So the adventurers head for the town, with their own goals in mind, to do what they can to help the struggling town.
Player slots: probably only four, might allow for five
System: 5e
Session duration: 4ish hours, longer if its wanted or able to (Would hate to stop in the middle of good roleplay because of time)
Schedule: Discord, Weekly, Saturdays @ 6pm EST
Character Building: starting level 3, one uncommon magical item (ran by me first), dnd beyond or roll20 for character sheets. Roll 20 for maps etc. No homebrew races or classes. Roll for stats(in discord), or point buy if an individual prefers.
Race Availability Info: There is a homebrew continent and pantheon. Warforged, as well as interplanar races, are not allowed (because setting) (such as astral elves, gith, shadar-kai, fairies, etc) Any race based on being in the mortal realm I can make space for if not already thought of.
About me: I’m 30, male, gay. Been playing for six or so years and have a good handle on the rules. I have a small amount of DMing experience, and I’m wanting to do it again after about three years of only playing. Played in a lot of heavily homebrewed worlds with weird magic systems and wild world stuff going on, and I just miss a good old simple dnd campaign. I’m a proponent of keeping the rules as they are, but rule of cool is of course a case by case basis.
Also, as I am 30, would prefer to play with other adults, 21 and up. Gonna be honest, not very lenient on this. Sorry.
Will be doing interviews for future players through discord.
Send me a message with some interesting facts about you, your discord name, favorite classes and past characters. Some of your own dnd stories that have stuck with you, good or bad. Experience with the game and roleplay in general. Favorite dnd shows, or shows in general, books series etc. Just some general stuff you think could sway my heart lol. Also any questions you might have.
Also, repeat, I am gay, so let’s keep that in mind when trying to join the game.
And a quick reminder that, though I’m a "veteran" player, still fairly new to DMing.
Thank you.

Mastering Your European Adventure: The Ultimate Packing Guide

Prepare for your European adventure with confidence and style. Whether you're exploring enchanting Christmas markets or soaking up the sun along picturesque riverbanks, our Europe River Cruises Packing Guide has you covered. From cozy winter essentials to lightweight summer attire, we've curated a comprehensive packing list to ensure you're ready for any season and scenario. Get ready to elevate your travel experience and embark on a journey filled with unforgettable moments and unparalleled beauty.

Fall

• Embrace the Autumn Palette: Pack a versatile wardrobe of five tops, three pants, and a chic dress in neutral hues.
• Layer Like a Pro: Invest in scarves and lightweight jackets for brisk mornings and cozy evenings.
• Harvest Season Essentials: Don't forget a waterproof windbreaker and a wine bottle protector for vineyard tours.

Winter

• Cozy Up in Style: Double up on fleece-lined tights, weatherproof socks, and fashionable boots.
• Combat Dry Skin: Keep skin hydrated with SPF moisturizers and indulge in our complimentary hot beverage station.
• Festive Accessories: Bundle up with touchscreen gloves, cashmere scarves, and hats for Christmas market explorations.

Spring

• Floral Fantasy: Pack a foldable daypack for tulip-filled excursions and vibrant outdoor adventures.
• Versatile Attire: Transition seamlessly from sunrise stretching classes to hiking expeditions with functional workout gear.
• Stylish Layers: Enhance your look with wraps and shawls while staying comfortable on cooler days.

Summer

• Beat the Heat: Stay cool with moisture-wicking fabrics, sunglasses, and mini sunscreen bottles for on-the-go protection.
• Poolside Perfection: Don't forget your swimsuit for relaxing dips in the sun-deck pool and plush robes for post-swim lounging.
• Rainy Day Ready: Prepare for unexpected showers with a lightweight hooded rain jacket that won't cramp your style.

All-Season Round Travel Essentials

• Power Up: Equip yourself with a 2-prong European Travel Plug Adapter for seamless connectivity.
• Carry-On Must-Haves: Pack essentials like outfits, medication, and travel documents in a compact carry-on bag for peace of mind.
• Comfort is Key: Slip into compression socks and wrap yourself in a shawl for long flights to Europe.
• Packing Pro Tip: Follow the lead of seasoned travelers like Joanne Weir and opt for a hard-side carry-on with expandable storage.

With our detailed packing guide in hand, you're poised to conquer Europe in style. From the vibrant colors of fall to the festive cheer of winter, the blooming beauty of spring, and the sun-soaked days of summer, savvy travelers can navigate every season with confidence and flair. So, pack your bags and embark on the European adventure of a lifetime!Mastering Your European Adventure: The Ultimate Packing Guide

Unsent letter for my husband,who does not use Reddit. I really debated on weather or not I would post this because of how vulnerable it is, and honestly because I realize I'm a moron. But here we are. Probably will delete later. Idk.
Sometimes I feel like you're trying to make me worse. I don't have the energy to keep arguing with you every night. I just want peace. Why won't you allow me to have that? Why won't you just fucking leave me alone, I feel like you're taunting me at this point. I hate that you tell me you love me while you sit there and actively break me down to the point I don't really feel like a human being anymore. And if you love me, why the fuck am I constantly begging to be treated like a human being? Tonight was a good example of when I say you're so dismissive of my feelings. When you came outside & asked what I was doing. I told you I was watching my therapy videos and asked to be alone for a little. Still, you sat down and I repeatedly told you I wanted to be alone. You ignored me, and and the more annoyed I got you laughed. Do you even understand how much it took for me to recognize the signs of an episode before they happen? I warned you that my mood was about to flip on you and the way you smiled and looked so smug was all it took. I removed myself from the situation and went for a drive and ended up in the parking lot down the street. I shouldn't have to leave the house just to feel okay. And you still couldn't fucking leave me alone! You sit there and text me like you don't know what you did wrong. And put it back on me. You tell me that you thought I was joking and didn't realize until it was too late. But how could you not? We've been together almost every single day for 9 years. How is it you always know when someone else does something that bothers me, but never when you do unless it's spelled out for you? How do you not recognize the changes in my face, my body language. You're so observant yet so oblivious. I feel like I'm being difficult because I ignored your I'm sorry. But then I remind myself that you apologize to me on a daily basis. You apologize to me so much that it sounds rehearsed. No matter how many times I tell you, you don't get how generic your apologies are, how insincere they are. You've repeated the same phrases, the same excuses so many times I too can reciet them. Why is it that whenever we have serious conversations you tell me you don't know what to say. Or if I bring up something that bothers me that you will ignore me for hours, days, sometimes until the next weekend. Then other times, you know exactly what to say, you can say all the right things I want to hear. You hold yourself accountable, you apologize, you make promises to work on it. But the thing is, you never do work on those things. Then you want to make me feel bad when the next time we're having the same conversation, different situation and you make me feel like shit for being difficult and not believing you can or will change. I can only tell you so many times that if you don't actually work on the things you say you will work on than how the fuck am I supposed to ever believe you? I wish you understood, like really and truly understood how mentally exhausting it is to sit there and repeatedly break down step by step why and how you are hurting me just to watch you do it again & again. All while telling me you didn't know, or just didn't think. You don't realize how damaging your apologies are to me, how confusing they are to me. Your actions hurt me, but you say the right things and all the sudden I feel like I'm over reacting or being dramatic and even though it's not your intentions it feels like it's my fault. Maybe it is my fault and I think about that too. Sometimes I wonder why you put up with me. I'm always sad, I'm always crying, I'm always one step off the edge. You keep telling me that I'll get better and that I'm like this because of the things you have done and still do. And that when you work on those things I'll get better. And then I feel like I'm a piece of shit. I feel worthless, I feel drained... And honestly. I don't remember the last time I felt okay, like actually okay. I know I wasn't always like this but find myself wondering if I'll always be like this? Most of the time I feel like I am going crazy.. I'm so out of touch with reality, I'm not living a life anymore, I am living every day on repeat. For months now I have spent hours completely on auto pilot. Every day I wake up, I feel a little more dead inside. I cry for no reason, all of the time. Even when I'm driving and it's embarrassing. I feel stuck, stuck in my own head, stuck in this depression, stuck in this life. I really do feel like I won't be here much longer. It's no longer a feeling that comes up in intense moments, it's constant, daily, a reoccurring feeling I can't shake. I feel changes in myself that make me scared. I don't want to be around anyone, not other people and especially not the people I love. I don't watch t.v anymore, I can't complete most tasks anymore, I eat purely to stop the shaking most of the time. The only time I seem to want to talk is when I'm in a manic episode and can't shut the hell up. You contributed to that.. Because of you I feel the need to over explain everything. I find myself trying to explain things multiple ways, and I just ramble. I don't know how to stop once I start and that now carries on in any conversation I have. You ignore me so much that I feel like I'm talking to myself. You tell me you're not doing it on purpose, you constantly tell me you didn't hear me or try and convince me that I didn't say anything. It makes me feel like I'm actually insane. You are always making me question my own reality. I feel like you do that often, you make me feel unsure of myself. Sometimes I feel like you want me to hate myself with the things you say and do. Like how you know I have an eating disorder but will make comments telling me I'm not hungry or that I don't need it, or make jokes that I take too long to eat like I'm not painfully aware and it's not like you don't know why. Then you'll tell me I'm crazy for thinking I'm fat, or tell me that I need to start eating if I want to be healthy. Or how you sat there for years and made comments for years to do something different with my hair, and you were tired of my black hair. So I died it red. And $250 later and you immediately tell me you want me to go back to my black hair. But it's okay, because you'll turn around and tell me it looks good now that I'm obsessing about changing it again. You sit there and text me supportive things constantly and I read them over and over again and it just furthers the idea that I'm crazy. You used to tell me you weren't big on affection, then one day you started saying you like affection. Okay great, so I try and give that to you... Consistently and it's hardly returned. Either you don't reciprocate it at all, or it seems like a chore. But then, I get in a mood and all the sudden, you're affectionate, playful and loving. And I will say, you are affectionate sometimes when we are good too, it's just not as often on the scale.. It just seems like, you want me most when I'm the least interested in being near you and that doesn't make sense to me. Why is the most effort, and the only time I see you trying is when you feel like I'm going to finally walk away? Why does everything I ask for seem to be asking for too much? How can you possibly love me when for the last year straight I have asked literally begged you to work on things, I begged you to be consistent, to stop lying to me, to take me seriously, to stop hurting me, to stop treating me the way you do, I told you repeatedly that I was loosing all feelings. Not just for you, but the amount of pain I've been in, I am going numb to everything and everyone. I'm in dangerous cycle of anger, dispair, numbness and being delusional. Every one and a while, like now.. I feel like I wake up. And suddenly I see everything for what it truly is. And then I feel embarrassed that for lack of respect I have for myself, or my own boundaries, I feel guilty for thinking bad things about you and so I turn around and begin tortumenting myself with everything I ever said to you and the self hatred ensues. I then go into a state of crisis and feel like everything around me is closing in and bam, I feel nothing. I don't care about any of it, but I'm aware of all of it.. and I feed on that pain for a while. Sometimes it's short lived, sometimes it's hours, or even days where I will convince myself this time I'm going to get out and... Just like that, I feel paralyzed again and the pain is too much. I fade out again and none of it was real. When I come out of this state, I won't even be able to read this letter back to myself until it happens again. I don't know why that happens but the more it does, I feel myself deteorating. I feel like my nervous system is fried. I am tired of being nauseous every fucking day. I am tired of my body constantly shaking in controlably. I am tired of being so exhausted single day but the later it gets the more I feel awake. You really don't get what you're doing to me. And I'm not saying that every negative thing I feel, experience or go through is because you're just 1 person and you aren't responsible for all of the things, I am. But you do contribute to them. If you really are worried about my mental health, then why don't you ever take it seriously? Truthfully it's because I think you don't take me seriously. Why would you? The amount of shit that I've let slide, I think is a good indication of how little I value myself and how little you value me no matter what your words say. If you valued me, you wouldn't tell me that you don't reflect on our conversations after we have them. You wouldn't sit there and tell me that in 9 years of being together you have never bothered to learn about my disease even though it affects my life every waking day, even when I sit there and actively try and educate you just for you to tell me you can't retain the information. If you valued me, you wouldn't constantly apologize for making the same "mistakes" over and over, and saying you didn't realize until after you did it or after I explained it. Things that most people wouldn't have to explain, like that it's hurtful when you don't reply to our serious conversation but I come in the room and you're watching YouTube shorts or playing video games instead and that took priority. Or how it's upsets me that I can fall asleep crying, with you saying nothing and you think it's okay to wake me up for sex in the middle of the night. The list goes on.. it's never ending and I am always having to break everything down for you to such a degree that as bad as it is to say, I rather you treat me like shit then explain one more time in detail how you are treating me like shit. I feel like a horrible wife because I don't have the desire to fix our relationship anymore. I barely have the will to live anymore, let alone continue this cycle that deep down I know will never end. Every year, you get just a little bit worse in some ways, and better in others. And now, it's harder because in some ways you are better. There are plenty of times I am sad, that you ask me if I am sad, of it I'm okay. But the thing is, when I say I'm not or I do open up to you, you get quiet and I feel disappointed and alone. I can't express enough that I don't expect you to have the right answer, or even any solution. I just want to feel heard. Then the next time it happens and you ask and I lie and say I'll say I'm fine because when I do admit to being sad, even when you aren't the reason you go silent. You hug me randomly and that makes me feel loved. You smile at me sometimes when I am ranting.And I love how when we are good, we're like the best of friends. I like that you started buying me flowers, I just hate that I know why I got them. Sometimes you help me cook, and it feels nice to spend time with you. But then I am also resentful because on a daily basis your version of spending time is limited to us laying in bed and watching t.v or you telling me random facts. You never want to go out, you never want to try a new activity together, and when I say I just want to be with you and talk, I get stuck carrying the conversation. I keep trying to explain to you that the bad has far out weighted the good for too long. I have so much anger and resentment towards you, that it's hard to look past that when I look at you. Granted through our relationship you've done a lot of things anyone with common sense would of walked away from, what you've put me through in the last 2 years I just can't forgive no matter how much I try. It's especially hard to heal, when you continue adding to it. I never get the chance.. I don't feel loved by you. I don't feel safe with you. I don't feel like I can trust you. And the fact is, some things are just so fucked up that you can't recover from and unfortunately deep down I know that.Far too many to put into this letter alone but you know what you've done,no matter how much you play ignorant and tell me you don't remeber...I spent most of last year year, throwing up, collapsing, and psychically every day.. then I started going through the cancer testing and the same week that I was waiting for my results, you were cheating on me.. I left for 3 days and stayed at my mom's came home, and agreed to make it work for the sake of our family... Again...for our family. It took more than you will ever know to come back home. You will never understand how you absolutely destroyed me that day, and that every day since I live in fear for what you're doing that I don't know. Part of me obsessed about it, mostly I ignore the very realistic possibilities that you will do it again. You've betrayed me twice since then not on the same level but none the less. It shouldn't of happened at all. I put up a wall up with you that day, and it just keeps growing. You don't even see it for how it really is do you? That I've started avoiding you from the moment we come home. That I take the girls out for more mommy daughter days than family days. That I handle my responsibilities as a mother, but completely shut off to you for the last few weeks. That I have been doing so much work on myself, not that I didn't need to, and always will.. but just .. You don't see what's happening here. Or maybe you do, and that's why your all the sudden half ass trying just a little more. I pray one day I stop fading deeper into denial and wake up. The truth is.. I'm not ready to fully admit it to myself...but I don't love you..and haven't for quite some time.. As I finish writing this, I am feeling numb again and I know I will wake up tomorrow and apologize for my role in this. I'll wake up tomorrow and break myself trying to convince myself that I do love you, I'm just sick...

Both Iron Maiden and Prince had nearly flawless 80s.
Iron Maiden started off with their original singer Paul D'Ianno and released two great albums, then Bruce Dickinson joined and they released five S tier albums in a row with Number Of The Beast, Peace Of Mind, Powerslave (my favorite), Somewhere In Time and Seventh Son Of A Seventh son.
With Prince, it's the same. Dirty Mind, Controversy, 1999, Purple Rain, Around The World In A Day (my favorite), Parade and Sign O' The Times are all S tier. Lovesexy and Batman are the only ones I think aren't on par with his other 80s releases.

There is nothing for me here. I wish so badly I could just peacefully die. I have a mom who loves me, despite not understanding a thing about me, and that keeps me stuck here because I cannot do that to her or even my brother who treats me like shit but probably loves me too. I fucking resent it. I am so tired. I feel like I'm trudging through wet cement. I never signed up for this "life" bullshit. I have no desire to take part. I'm too fragile and weak-willed to survive in this world. I feel constant dread for the future and not an ounce of motivation to try to better myself. There seems to be no point. Why do I have to live for others, even though I'm actually completely alone? My family doesn't understand me and doesn't empathize with me. To them I'm stupid, weak, and annoying. But they love me. I have no friends. I have no real support system. I'm lucky to still live at home, but the clock is ticking and I can't stay here forever.
I don't want to do anything with my life.
I wish I could give it up to someone who would actually do something worthwhile with it. God knows i won't.

CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ5mIkLhCyY
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LIBRA ZODIAC PREDICTIONS MAY 2024

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This is a really long story with lots of context so I'll do my best to organize it into current situation, then his backstory and hers. I'm also not using real names or specific locations for any of this to try and keep this private. This also has some contradicting stories and because of how their relationship is structured relies mostly on information I have gotten from my sister, so I'm telling you the story I got from her first and then adding in what I've found out. I'll try to tell this as unbiased as I can but it's been a huge issue in my family for a long time now and that's a little difficult for me to do.
My (20F) sister (Olivia, 24F) has been dating this guy (Trevor, 25M) since 2021. When they started dating, she talked about him fairly often, sent a few pictures of them, ect., but then after a month she stopped mentioning him/ was cagey when we (me and my mom mostly) asked how he was so we assumed it just hadn't worked out. Then two months later she insisted that my parents (54F and 56M) and I all come to visit her college to meet Trevor before he went into the Army (she lived several hours away from my parents and several hours from my college, so I had to get a bus ticket and my parents had to get a hotel room to do this. We only met him once for dinner). Now they've been dating long distance for three years after a three month in-person relationship. She is in nursing school and is planning on moving across the country (literally opposite corners of the map) to live with him and is not applying to any residency programs outside of the Army base area (limiting her choices a LOT from her original goals and narrowing employment opportunities).
Olivia met Trevor on several dating apps, matched with him, but didn't really want to go out with him. He was really persistent, so her friend convinced her to go out with him. She lied about the way they met to our parents and told them they met at the gym through a mutual friend (she lied to me about this at first too and told me the truth about 3 months after they started dating). At the time, Trevor was working as a used car salesman and living at home (~45 min. away from Olivia's school in a rural area) because his sports scholarship had been dropped before his Senior year due to covid at the college he had been attending out of state. The university was unaccredited (I later did some internet stalking and found out it was accredited), so his credits would not transfer and he would have to start over. He was saving up money to attend school in state at the large college Olivia attended so he could go back to school. **Our state has crazy low tuition costs in-state and a full-tuition scholarship program for good high school GPA and SAT scores. There was also a "feeder" community college that had half the cost per credit hour that a lot of people would go to before the larger university if they didn't get in straight out of high school.**
Olivia told me that Trevor had applied to her college and not gotten in (she later told me he HAD gotten in but been unable to afford tuition). Either way, he decided to join the Army because his father had been in the Army. The Army would take his credit hours and he would be able to finish his degree during his 5 year contract or use the GI bill once he got out. **She is comparing the situation to our father, who joined the Army directly out of high school and used the GI bill to go to college after his 2 year contract because his parents wouldn't pay for school. He was a medic in the military, worked as an EMT through college, and then went to nursing school.** The original plan was that Trevor would be a Green Beret (special forces), he completed basic training and and got several months through training and moved to the secondary base in NC before failing the running portion of a physical by about 10 seconds and being dropped from the selection process. He then decided that he wanted to be a Ranger (another elite position). He got sent back to GA, then to the Ranger school base in WA (it took a couple of months before he was sent to WA). Again, he got partway through the training before failing the running portion of a physical by a few seconds. He is now not sure if he will be continuing Ranger school (failing the physical means no, but commanders may pass him anyways if they think he should continue). For a while, Trevor told Olivia that he might not stay at the base in WA if he wasn't in Ranger school and there were a variety of different bases he could be sent to, including somewhere in Italy, so she wasn't sure where to look for jobs. In the past month, Trevor told Olivia that he would likely stay in WA regardless of the Ranger school results.
Through this all, Olivia has visited Trevor at the different military bases countless times, driving from as far as south FL to NC and putting over 30,000 miles on a brand new car over the course of the 1.5 years she's owned it. Before she had the car, she paid for plane tickets to see him and hotels whenever she visited. At the time, she told me that he was paying for all of these trips because he was unable to visit her, was making an income that wasn't being spent, and she was working to save for nursing school and later was living off of student loans and savings during nursing school. She later admitted to me that she had paid for almost all of the expenses except for food when they ate out together and part of a hotel room one weekend.
A few odd things (to me) between Olivia and Trevor over the course of their relationship:
About a month into their relationship, Trevor got Olivia an over $300 christmas gift. He has not gotten her anything nearly that expensive since, and hasn't sent flowers for things like her college graduation or a severe emergency surgery she had last year. I don't care about monetary value or sending flowers, but I do think it is odd that he spent so much before moving away when he ostensibly didn't have much money, but now that he has an income and military sign-on bonus, he has not spent that much again.
Trevor's father left Trevor, his siblings, and his mother, but Trevor has a hat that his father gave him that he wore often. The hat says "Red Man" across the top of a picture of a Native American man wearing a feathered headdress. He has worn this hat several times around Olivia's friends and they told him they didn't like it and that it was racist. They also asked him to not wear it when he was with them and he refused because it was special to him and his father gave it to him. Olivia then told him to stop wearing it and he eventually agreed (Olivia told me that he stopped wearing the hat after this). A few weeks after this, I facetimed Olivia and Trevor was with her. She turned the camera so I could say hello to him, and he was wearing the hat. I talked to Olivia about this later and she told me that that was the first time he'd worn the hat in a while and it wasn't a big deal. Olivia has always been liberal and never racist, and I am uncomfortable that she was okay with him not only wearing the hat, but being with him while he had it on.
They dated for a little over 3 months in person before he joined the military (recently, Olivia told me that they actually met several months before she told everyone about him and that they actually dated for 6 months before he left). For the next two months in basic training, he was only able to use the phone for 15 minutes total once a week to talk to family and her. Throughout the different training programs he has completed he had sporadic and limited access to phones to communicate, and only in the past 6 months he has had access to his phone to facetime, text, and call (but sometimes he goes for a week or two without phone access). Olivia told me that they wrote letters during the time he didn't have consistent phone access. **I don't think that this is odd, I understand the military limits phone usage, etc., but I don't think they have been able to have an "average" long-distance relationship**
Last year, Olivia drove to GA to visit Trevor the weekend before Valentine's day. He had plans for them to take a pottery class, go on a hike, and have dinner at a nice restaurant. The day she got there, Trevor's barracks had their off-base privileges revoked because one of the guys had contraband. She would still be able to visit him on base though. Somehow, Trevor was able to get off base for long periods of time to her hotel, but unable to do the other activities he had planned for them.
In the past year, Olivia told me that she and Trevor were going to immediately marry when she got to WA so that they could move in together because they had to be married to live together anywhere. I and our dad- who was in the military- told her several times that this was not true, but she insisted it was. Then, his barracks were given an allowance to live off base in apartments because the barracks were being renovated/ rebuilt, so she backed off on the idea of getting married immediately after several long conversations with me. She is still insistent on moving in with Trevor, who lives with a roommate, when she moves to WA.
Some background on Olivia:
Olivia has ADHD and anxiety, and struggled particularly badly with the anxiety/ some depression after being broken up with by the boyfriend she dated before Trevor (he broke it off very abruptly, told her he just didn't love her anymore with no previous indications). Olivia is very pretty (objectively, not just because she's my sister), but had bad acne that she ended up going on accutane for at the time she started dating Trevor and was very insecure about it. She had also decided to not go to medical school, and pursue nursing instead around the same time she met Trevor. This was a very upsetting decision for her because she had been taking very hard courses and was burnt out but had told everyone she was going to be a doctor and thought that she would be letting us down by switching paths. Also around the time she started seeing Trevor, Olivia began being very cruel towards our mother (our mother had been borderline emotionally abusive in the past, but Olivia and I were both in college by then and fixing our relationships with her. She has been much better recently and Olivia and I believe that she had some mental health struggles that went unchecked that contributed). Now, several years later, Olivia told our family that she had acted like that because she was rpd by a friend of her ex-boyfriend's after her ex broke up with her. This person also gave her an STD.
I always believe people who say they have been S A'd, and we believed Olivia when she first told us, but some things have come to light that make me and my family question that. Right after Olivia and her ex broke up, Olivia told our cousin that she had gone out with one of his friends and had revenge/ breakup sex with him because he had also been dumped recently. Once my cousin told me this, I remembered that Olivia had told me about a guy she had a one night stand with after she was dumped. She showed me a picture of him, talked about how cute he was, etc. (no distress whatsoever). I know sometimes people behave in ways you wouldn't expect when a traumatic event occurs to them, but I really don't understand how or why Olivia would brag about this guy if he really did S A her.
Three months ago, Olivia was arrested for stealing a set of sheets from Walmart (incidentally, right before Trevor came to visit her on leave). She used the self check-out and only bought a small $5 item and the sheets. She held both in one hand and scanned each side because she had a cut on the other hand and was holding her wallet with it. She saw a 5 in front of the total number and thought it looked right because the total should have been about $50, paid, didn't get a receipt, and walked out. An employee at the door asked to see a receipt, which Olivia didn't have, so she pulled up her transaction history on her phone to show she had paid. At this point, the employee called the police and took Olivia into an office, where she was questioned and charged with shoplifting. (Olivia can get very emotional and probably got upset when the police questioned her, which may have led them to believe she was lying). Luckily, Olivia has managed to get the charges expunged, but the process is still ongoing. Because of her ADHD, if anyone genuinely made this mistake, I would believe it from her, but Olivia has been improving a lot on organization and being more attentive recently. It is extremely uncharacteristic of her to steal- she was honest to a fault as kids- she would break down from guilt and admit things to our parents that we would have gotten away with if she hadn't said anything.
Right now, my parents have met Trevor twice in person, and I've met him once in person and several times in passing over facetime. I personally don't think that Trevor seems to keep up with my sister or that they make each other shine, and that opinion is shared with family friends and family that have met Trevor. Olivia doesn't mention Trevor in front of our parents often because his name has become a topic of contention and argument between them. My parents don't think Trevor is right for Olivia. She has almost 2 college degrees and plans to become a nurse practitioner in the future, and he hasn't finished college and doesn't seem to have any drive to do so. Olivia is also well traveled and enjoys going to museums, concerts, etc., while Trevor has lived in rural FL his whole life (this is not Trevor's fault, and I don't think he is a lesser person because of it, but I don't see a lot of common ground between them). Trevor has not seemed very well spoken when I have talked to him and I just don't see a lot of qualities in him that Olivia values.
If you've gotten this far, I just don't know what to do. Olivia and my parents have a huge rift in their relationship right now and any mention of Trevor, with her around or not, explodes into a huge argument, discussion, or just icy silence. I want Olivia to be able to talk to me about him, and we are able to discuss things much better than she is with our parents. My parents have also started asking me about Olivia and Trevor because they know Olivia shares more with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to betray Olivia's trust, but I'm also very worried about her. I know I can't control her actions and I'm having a really hard time trying to balance supporting Olivia but not supporting the relationship (I'm not going to lie to her about how I feel, but I don't want her to feel alienated or unloved by our family, because that is NOT the case). I also think that Olivia is romanticizing the fact that our parents don't like him because my father's parents had a rift with him over our mother when we were very young (this is a whole other story, but basically, his parents always favored his sister, his sister got (I think) jealous when he did well for himself and married my mother, who his parents initially likes, and she made up rumors/lies about my mother that turned his parents against her (this was way before our mother's suspected mental health struggles, which occured when Olivia and I were in middle/high school).
Please share any thoughts you have on the situation (am I reading too into things, is this not as bad as I think it is?), and any advice you have on navigating the relationships.
Tl;dr My sister's boyfriend lied about the circumstances of him dropping out of college and joining the military. Now I think he's lying about not making it through training for two different special/ elite forces. My sister has significantly changed her behavior and I think she may have lied about a significant traumatic event to our family. Now she is planning on moving across the country to him and moving in immediately. Our entire family doesn't like him and we're worried about her. How do I support her but not her relationship?

Howdy l've been role-playing and writing in general forat least a decade. I am a Male who can play male and female characters. I have original ideas all over and a lot of Fandoms I'm in, which I'Il include below. I'm looking for OCXOC. Every character must be 18+ I have plenty of original characters and ideas along with fandom plots.
For original ideas, i like horror and apocalypse with action and depending romance. I do have a variety. I really like monsters and creepy things from the horror genre like vampires and Tentacles, and l even have my own idea set up in modern times dealing with vampires and hunters and all of that i also enjoy eldritch type horror. I also like old-school slasher films and space sci-fi horror similar to the Alien Franchise.
Now on fandoms! To get some other things down, l only play OC. The anime fandoms i like are Jojo's, Chainsaw Man, Naruto, JJK, Soul Eater, and more. I'm well versed in the Jojo's, Naruto, and JJK, and soul eater fandoms, though it's been a while since ï've stopped keeping up with soul eater. Other fandoms im in include Percy Jackson, Call of Duty, Marvel, and DC.
I tend to use character sheets to describe my character. These are very thorough and usually consist of names, backgrounds, and personalities, along with an in-depth look on appearance. More so on appearances, I don't usually use picture references, but I will if you would like me to. The types of characters I write are the lone wolf type that has some sad past, which leads them to potentially go off the rails and gain a villain arc.
I like all types of tropes, especially enemies to lovers or rivalry. I also really enjoy opposites attracted as a whole from either opposite personality or something else they would be opposites in. Enemies to lovers takes my heart, though. I love seeing the characters go past theurge to ultimately hate each other and/or go past their usual way of disliking the others' lineage or upcoming I also love good written trauma moments. Like character death's, moments of pain and strife only to see the characters to deal and either be consumed or overcome them. I tend to either come up with original ideas for these scenes or use anime scenes as inspiration with narrative tweaks.
REQUIREMENT
I think my two biggest requirements are creativity and good pacing. Like any story, I feel these two things are very necessary to make a good story. Now, by Creativity, I don't mean you need to bring absolute craziness into the story, but abilities, character etc need to have some good genuine thought put into them. Along with that comes good pacing, which means I don't personally care about response length, and mine will vary from scene to scene accordingly.
I'm pretty much done if you have any questions. I'm here, and I'd love to hear back from you in chat the password is your favorite color. Supply it in chat only.

This is a really long story with lots of context so I'll do my best to organize it into current situation, then his backstory and hers. I'm also not using real names or specific locations for any of this to try and keep this private. This also has some contradicting stories and because of how their relationship is structured relies mostly on information I have gotten from my sister, so I'm telling you the story I got from her first and then adding in what I've found out. I'll try to tell this as unbiased as I can but it's been a huge issue in my family for a long time now and that's a little difficult for me to do.
My(20F) sister (Olivia, 24F) has been dating this guy (Trevor, 25M) since 2021. When they started dating, she talked about him fairly often, sent a few pictures of them, ect., but then after a month she stopped mentioning him/ was cagey when we (me and my mom mostly) asked how he was so we assumed it just hadn't worked out. Then two months later she insisted that my parents (54F and 56M) and I all come to visit her college to meet Trevor before he went into the Army (she lived several hours away from my parents and several hours from my college, so I had to get a bus ticket and my parents had to get a hotel room to do this. We only met him once for dinner). Now they've been dating long distance for three years after a three month in-person relationship. She is in nursing school and is planning on moving across the country (literally opposite corners of the map) to live with him and is not applying to any residency programs outside of the Army base area (limiting her choices a LOT from her original goals and narrowing employment opportunities).
Olivia met Trevor on several dating apps, matched with him, but didn't really want to go out with him. He was really persistent, so her friend convinced her to go out with him. She lied about the way they met to our parents and told them they met at the gym through a mutual friend (she lied to me about this at first too and told me the truth about 3 months after they started dating). At the time, Trevor was working as a used car salesman and living at home (~45 min. away from Olivia's school in a rural area) because his sports scholarship had been dropped before his Senior year due to covid at the college he had been attending out of state. The university was unaccredited (I later did some internet stalking and found out it was accredited), so his credits would not transfer and he would have to start over. He was saving up money to attend school in state at the large college Olivia attended so he could go back to school. **Our state has crazy low tuition costs in-state and a full-tuition scholarship program for good high school GPA and SAT scores. There was also a "feeder" community college that had half the cost per credit hour that a lot of people would go to before the larger university if they didn't get in straight out of high school.**
Olivia told me that Trevor had applied to her college and not gotten in (she later told me he HAD gotten in but been unable to afford tuition). Either way, he decided to join the Army because his father had been in the Army. The Army would take his credit hours and he would be able to finish his degree during his 5 year contract or use the GI bill once he got out. **She is comparing the situation to our father, who joined the Army directly out of high school and used the GI bill to go to college after his 2 year contract because his parents wouldn't pay for school. He was a medic in the military, worked as an EMT through college, and then went to nursing school.** The original plan was that Trevor would be a Green Beret (special forces, linking the training pipeline here: https://www.reddit.com/greenberets/comments/xwdbta/current_sf_pipeline_correct_me_if_im_wrong/ ), he completed basic training and and got several months through the NC training before failing the running portion of a physical by about 10 seconds and being dropped from the selection process. He then decided that he wanted to be a Ranger (another elite position). He got sent back to GA, then to the Ranger school base in WA (it took a couple of months before he was sent to WA). Again, he got partway through the training before failing the running portion of a physical by a few seconds. He is now not sure if he will be continuing Ranger school (failing the physical means no, but commanders may pass him anyways if they think he should continue). For a while, Trevor told Olivia that he might not stay at the base in WA if he wasn't in Ranger school and there were a variety of different bases he could be sent to, including somewhere in Italy, so she wasn't sure where to look for jobs. In the past month, Trevor told Olivia that he would likely stay in WA regardless of the Ranger school results.
Through this all, Olivia has visited Trevor at the different military bases countless times, driving from as far as south FL to NC and putting over 30,000 miles on a brand new car over the course of the 1.5 years she's owned it. Before she had the car, she paid for plane tickets to see him and hotels whenever she visited. At the time, she told me that he was paying for all of these trips because he was unable to visit her, was making an income that wasn't being spent, and she was working to save for nursing school and later was living off of student loans and savings during nursing school. She later admitted to me that she had paid for almost all of the expenses except for food when they ate out together and part of a hotel room one weekend.
A few odd things (to me) between Olivia and Trevor over the course of their relationship:
About a month into their relationship, Trevor got Olivia an over $300 christmas gift. He has not gotten her anything nearly that expensive since, and hasn't sent flowers for things like her college graduation or a severe emergency surgery she had last year. I don't care about monetary value or sending flowers, but I do think it is odd that he spent so much before moving away when he ostensibly didn't have much money, but now that he has an income and military sign-on bonus, he has not spent that much again.
Trevor's father left Trevor, his siblings, and his mother, but Trevor has a hat that his father gave him that he wore often. The hat says "Red Man" across the top of a picture of a Native American man wearing a feathered headdress. He has worn this hat several times around Olivia's friends and they told him they didn't like it and that it was racist. They also asked him to not wear it when he was with them and he refused because it was special to him and his father gave it to him. Olivia then told him to stop wearing it and he eventually agreed (Olivia told me that he stopped wearing the hat after this). A few weeks after this, I facetimed Olivia and Trevor was with her. She turned the camera so I could say hello to him, and he was wearing the hat. I talked to Olivia about this later and she told me that that was the first time he'd worn the hat in a while and it wasn't a big deal. Olivia has always been liberal and never racist, and I am uncomfortable that she was okay with him not only wearing the hat, but being with him while he had it on.
They dated for a little over 3 months in person before he joined the military (recently, Olivia told me that they actually met several months before she told everyone about him and that they actually dated for 6 months before he left). For the next two months in basic training, he was only able to use the phone for 15 minutes total once a week to talk to family and her. Throughout the different training programs he has completed he had sporadic and limited access to phones to communicate, and only in the past 6 months he has had access to his phone to facetime, text, and call (but sometimes he goes for a week or two without phone access). Olivia told me that they wrote letters during the time he didn't have consistent phone access. **I don't think that this is odd, I understand the military limits phone usage, etc., but I don't think they have been able to have an "average" long-distance relationship**
Last year, Olivia drove to GA to visit Trevor the weekend before Valentine's day. He had plans for them to take a pottery class, go on a hike, and have dinner at a nice restaurant. The day she got there, Trevor's barracks had their off-base privileges revoked because one of the guys had contraband. She would still be able to visit him on base though. Somehow, Trevor was able to get off base for long periods of time to her hotel, but unable to do the other activities he had planned for them.
In the past year, Olivia told me that she and Trevor were going to immediately marry when she got to WA so that they could move in together because they had to be married to live together anywhere. I and our dad- who was in the military- told her several times that this was not true, but she insisted it was. Then, his barracks were given an allowance to live off base in apartments because the barracks were being renovated/ rebuilt, so she backed off on the idea of getting married immediately after several long conversations with me. She is still insistent on moving in with Trevor, who lives with a roommate, when she moves to WA.
Some background on Olivia:
Olivia has ADHD and anxiety, and struggled particularly badly with the anxiety/ some depression after being broken up with by the boyfriend she dated before Trevor (he broke it off very abruptly, told her he just didn't love her anymore with no previous indications). Olivia is very pretty (objectively, not just because she's my sister), but had bad acne that she ended up going on accutane for at the time she started dating Trevor and was very insecure about it. She had also decided to not go to medical school, and pursue nursing instead around the same time she met Trevor. This was a very upsetting decision for her because she had been taking very hard courses and was burnt out but had told everyone she was going to be a doctor and thought that she would be letting us down by switching paths. Also around the time she started seeing Trevor, Olivia began being very cruel towards our mother (our mother had been borderline emotionally abusive in the past, but Olivia and I were both in college by then and fixing our relationships with her. She has been much better recently and Olivia and I believe that she had some mental health struggles that went unchecked that contributed). Now, several years later, Olivia told our family that she had acted like that because she was rpd by a friend of her ex-boyfriend's after her ex broke up with her. This person also gave her an STD.
I always believe people who say they have been S A'd, and we believed Olivia when she first told us, but some things have come to light that make me and my family question that. Right after Olivia and her ex broke up, Olivia told our cousin that she had gone out with one of his friends and had revenge/ breakup sex with him because he had also been dumped recently. Once my cousin told me this, I remembered that Olivia had told me about a guy she had a one night stand with after she was dumped. She showed me a picture of him, talked about how cute he was, etc. (no distress whatsoever). I know sometimes people behave in ways you wouldn't expect when a traumatic event occurs to them, but I really don't understand how or why Olivia would brag about this guy if he really did S A her.
Three months ago, Olivia was arrested for stealing a set of sheets from Walmart (incidentally, right before Trevor came to visit her on leave). She used the self check-out and only bought a small $5 item and the sheets. She held both in one hand and scanned each side because she had a cut on the other hand and was holding her wallet with it. She saw a 5 in front of the total number and thought it looked right because the total should have been about $50, paid, didn't get a receipt, and walked out. An employee at the door asked to see a receipt, which Olivia didn't have, so she pulled up her transaction history on her phone to show she had paid. At this point, the employee called the police and took Olivia into an office, where she was questioned and charged with shoplifting. (Olivia can get very emotional and probably got upset when the police questioned her, which may have led them to believe she was lying). Luckily, Olivia has managed to get the charges expunged, but the process is still ongoing. Because of her ADHD, if anyone genuinely made this mistake, I would believe it from her, but Olivia has been improving a lot on organization and being more attentive recently. It is extremely uncharacteristic of her to steal- she was honest to a fault as kids- she would break down from guilt and admit things to our parents that we would have gotten away with if she hadn't said anything.
Right now, my parents have met Trevor twice in person, and I've met him once in person and several times in passing over facetime. I personally don't think that Trevor seems to keep up with my sister or that they make each other shine, and that opinion is shared with family friends and family that have met Trevor. Olivia doesn't mention Trevor in front of our parents often because his name has become a topic of contention and argument between them. My parents don't think Trevor is right for Olivia. She has almost 2 college degrees and plans to become a nurse practitioner in the future, and he hasn't finished college and doesn't seem to have any drive to do so. Olivia is also well traveled and enjoys going to museums, concerts, etc., while Trevor has lived in rural FL his whole life (this is not Trevor's fault, and I don't think he is a lesser person because of it, but I don't see a lot of common ground between them). Trevor has not seemed very well spoken when I have talked to him and I just don't see a lot of qualities in him that Olivia values.
If you've gotten this far, I just don't know what to do. Olivia and my parents have a huge rift in their relationship right now and any mention of Trevor, with her around or not, explodes into a huge argument, discussion, or just icy silence. I want Olivia to be able to talk to me about him, and we are able to discuss things much better than she is with our parents. My parents have also started asking me about Olivia and Trevor because they know Olivia shares more with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to betray Olivia's trust, but I'm also very worried about her. I know I can't control her actions and I'm having a really hard time trying to balance supporting Olivia but not supporting the relationship (I'm not going to lie to her about how I feel, but I don't want her to feel alienated or unloved by our family, because that is NOT the case). I also think that Olivia is romanticizing the fact that our parents don't like him because my father's parents had a rift with him over our mother when we were very young (this is a whole other story, but basically, his parents always favored his sister, his sister got (I think) jealous when he did well for himself and married my mother, who his parents initially likes, and she made up rumors/lies about my mother that turned his parents against her (this was way before our mother's suspected mental health struggles, which occured when Olivia and I were in middle/high school).
Please share any thoughts you have on the situation (am I reading too into things, is this not as bad as I think it is?), and any advice you have on navigating the relationships.

This is a really long story with lots of context so I'll do my best to organize it into current situation, then his backstory and hers. I'm also not using real names or specific locations for any of this to try and keep this private. This also has some contradicting stories and because of how their relationship is structured relies mostly on information I have gotten from my sister, so I'm telling you the story I got from her first and then adding in what I've found out. I'll try to tell this as unbiased as I can but it's been a huge issue in my family for a long time now and that's a little difficult for me to do.
My sister (Olivia, 24F) has been dating this guy (Trevor, 25M) since 2021. When they started dating, she talked about him fairly often, sent a few pictures of them, ect., but then after a month she stopped mentioning him/ was cagey when we (me and my mom mostly) asked how he was so we assumed it just hadn't worked out. Then two months later she insisted that my parents and I all come to visit her college to meet Trevor before he went into the Army (she lived several hours away from my parents and several hours from my college, so I had to get a bus ticket and my parents had to get a hotel room to do this. We only met him once for dinner). Now they've been dating long distance for three years after a three month in-person relationship. She is in nursing school and is planning on moving across the country (literally opposite corners of the map) to live with him and is not applying to any residency programs outside of the Army base area (limiting her choices a LOT from her original goals and narrowing employment opportunities).
Olivia met Trevor on several dating apps, matched with him, but didn't really want to go out with him. He was really persistent, so her friend convinced her to go out with him. She lied about the way they met to our parents and told them they met at the gym through a mutual friend (she lied to me about this at first too and told me the truth about 3 months after they started dating). At the time, Trevor was working as a used car salesman and living at home (~45 min. away from Olivia's school in a rural area) because his sports scholarship had been dropped before his Senior year due to covid at the college he had been attending out of state. The university was unaccredited (I later did some internet stalking and found out it was accredited), so his credits would not transfer and he would have to start over. He was saving up money to attend school in state at the large college Olivia attended so he could go back to school. **Our state has crazy low tuition costs in-state and a full-tuition scholarship program for good high school GPA and SAT scores. There was also a "feeder" community college that had half the cost per credit hour that a lot of people would go to before the larger university if they didn't get in straight out of high school.**
Olivia told me that Trevor had applied to her college and not gotten in (she later told me he HAD gotten in but been unable to afford tuition). Either way, he decided to join the Army because his father had been in the Army. The Army would take his credit hours and he would be able to finish his degree during his 5 year contract or use the GI bill once he got out. **She is comparing the situation to our father, who joined the Army directly out of high school and used the GI bill to go to college after his 2 year contract because his parents wouldn't pay for school. He was a medic in the military, worked as an EMT through college, and then went to nursing school.** The original plan was that Trevor would be a Green Beret (special forces, linking the training pipeline here: https://www.reddit.com/greenberets/comments/xwdbta/current_sf_pipeline_correct_me_if_im_wrong/ ), he completed basic training and and got several months through the NC training before failing the running portion of a physical by about 10 seconds and being dropped from the selection process. He then decided that he wanted to be a Ranger (another elite position). He got sent back to GA, then to the Ranger school base in WA (it took a couple of months before he was sent to WA). Again, he got partway through the training before failing the running portion of a physical by a few seconds. He is now not sure if he will be continuing Ranger school (failing the physical means no, but commanders may pass him anyways if they think he should continue). For a while, Trevor told Olivia that he might not stay at the base in WA if he wasn't in Ranger school and there were a variety of different bases he could be sent to, including somewhere in Italy, so she wasn't sure where to look for jobs. In the past month, Trevor told Olivia that he would likely stay in WA regardless of the Ranger school results.
Through this all, Olivia has visited Trevor at the different military bases countless times, driving from as far as south FL to NC and putting over 30,000 miles on a brand new car over the course of the 1.5 years she's owned it. Before she had the car, she paid for plane tickets to see him and hotels whenever she visited. At the time, she told me that he was paying for all of these trips because he was unable to visit her, was making an income that wasn't being spent, and she was working to save for nursing school and later was living off of student loans and savings during nursing school. She later admitted to me that she had paid for almost all of the expenses except for food when they ate out together and part of a hotel room one weekend.
A few odd things (to me) between Olivia and Trevor over the course of their relationship:
About a month into their relationship, Trevor got Olivia an over $300 christmas gift. He has not gotten her anything nearly that expensive since, and hasn't sent flowers for things like her college graduation or a severe emergency surgery she had last year. I don't care about monetary value or sending flowers, but I do think it is odd that he spent so much before moving away when he ostensibly didn't have much money, but now that he has an income and military sign-on bonus, he has not spent that much again.
Trevor's father left Trevor, his siblings, and his mother, but Trevor has a hat that his father gave him that he wore often. The hat says "Red Man" across the top of a picture of a Native American man wearing a feathered headdress. He has worn this hat several times around Olivia's friends and they told him they didn't like it and that it was racist. They also asked him to not wear it when he was with them and he refused because it was special to him and his father gave it to him. Olivia then told him to stop wearing it and he eventually agreed (Olivia told me that he stopped wearing the hat after this). A few weeks after this, I facetimed Olivia and Trevor was with her. She turned the camera so I could say hello to him, and he was wearing the hat. I talked to Olivia about this later and she told me that that was the first time he'd worn the hat in a while and it wasn't a big deal. Olivia has always been liberal and never racist, and I am uncomfortable that she was okay with him not only wearing the hat, but being with him while he had it on.
They dated for a little over 3 months in person before he joined the military (recently, Olivia told me that they actually met several months before she told everyone about him and that they actually dated for 6 months before he left). For the next two months in basic training, he was only able to use the phone for 15 minutes total once a week to talk to family and her. Throughout the different training programs he has completed he had sporadic and limited access to phones to communicate, and only in the past 6 months he has had access to his phone to facetime, text, and call (but sometimes he goes for a week or two without phone access). Olivia told me that they wrote letters during the time he didn't have consistent phone access. **I don't think that this is odd, I understand the military limits phone usage, etc., but I don't think they have been able to have an "average" long-distance relationship**
Last year, Olivia drove to GA to visit Trevor the weekend before Valentine's day. He had plans for them to take a pottery class, go on a hike, and have dinner at a nice restaurant. The day she got there, Trevor's barracks had their off-base privileges revoked because one of the guys had contraband. She would still be able to visit him on base though. Somehow, Trevor was able to get off base for long periods of time to her hotel, but unable to do the other activities he had planned for them.
In the past year, Olivia told me that she and Trevor were going to immediately marry when she got to WA so that they could move in together because they had to be married to live together anywhere. I and our dad- who was in the military- told her several times that this was not true, but she insisted it was. Then, his barracks were given an allowance to live off base in apartments because the barracks were being renovated/ rebuilt, so she backed off on the idea of getting married immediately after several long conversations with me. She is still insistent on moving in with Trevor, who lives with a roommate, when she moves to WA.
Some background on Olivia:
Olivia has ADHD and anxiety, and struggled particularly badly with the anxiety/ some depression after being broken up with by the boyfriend she dated before Trevor (he broke it off very abruptly, told her he just didn't love her anymore with no previous indications). Olivia is very pretty (objectively, not just because she's my sister), but had bad acne that she ended up going on accutane for at the time she started dating Trevor and was very insecure about it. She had also decided to not go to medical school, and pursue nursing instead around the same time she met Trevor. This was a very upsetting decision for her because she had been taking very hard courses and was burnt out but had told everyone she was going to be a doctor and thought that she would be letting us down by switching paths. Also around the time she started seeing Trevor, Olivia began being very cruel towards our mother (our mother had been borderline emotionally abusive in the past, but Olivia and I were both in college by then and fixing our relationships with her. She has been much better recently and Olivia and I believe that she had some mental health struggles that went unchecked that contributed). Now, several years later, Olivia told our family that she had acted like that because she was raped by a friend of her ex-boyfriend's after her ex broke up with her. This person also gave her an STD.
I always believe people who say they have been sexually assaulted, abused, or harassed, and we believed Olivia when she first told us, but some things have come to light that make me and my family question that. Right after Olivia and her ex broke up, Olivia told our cousin that she had gone out with one of his friends and had revenge/ breakup sex with him because he had also been dumped recently. Once my cousin told me this, I remembered that Olivia had told me about a guy she had a one night stand with after she was dumped. She showed me a picture of him, talked about how cute he was, etc. (no distress whatsoever). I know sometimes people behave in ways you wouldn't expect when a traumatic event occurs to them, but I really don't understand how or why Olivia would brag about this guy if he really did sexually assault her.
Three months ago, Olivia was arrested for stealing a set of sheets from Walmart. She used the self check-out and only bought a small $5 item and the sheets. She held both in one hand and scanned each side because she had a cut on the other hand and was holding her wallet with it. She saw a 5 in front of the total number and thought it looked right because the total should have been about $50, paid, didn't get a receipt, and walked out. An employee at the door asked to see a receipt, which Olivia didn't have, so she pulled up her transaction history on her phone to show she had paid. At this point, the employee called the police and took Olivia into an office, where she was questioned and charged with shoplifting. (Olivia can get very emotional and probably got upset when the police questioned her, which may have led them to believe she was lying). Luckily, Olivia has managed to get the charges expunged, but the process is still ongoing. Because of her ADHD, if anyone genuinely made this mistake, I would believe it from her, but Olivia has been improving a lot on organization and being more attentive recently. It is extremely uncharacteristic of her to steal- she was honest to a fault as kids- she would break down from guilt and admit things to our parents that we would have gotten away with if she hadn't said anything.
Right now, my parents have met Trevor twice in person, and I've met him once in person and several times in passing over facetime. I personally don't think that Trevor seems to keep up with my sister or that they make each other shine, and that opinion is shared with family friends and family that have met Trevor. Olivia doesn't mention Trevor in front of our parents often because his name has become a topic of contention and argument between them. My parents don't think Trevor is right for Olivia. She has almost 2 college degrees and plans to become a nurse practitioner in the future, and he hasn't finished college and doesn't seem to have any drive to do so. Olivia is also well traveled and enjoys going to museums, concerts, etc., while Trevor has lived in rural FL his whole life (this is not Trevor's fault, and I don't think he is a lesser person because of it, but I don't see a lot of common ground between them). Trevor has not seemed very well spoken when I have talked to him and I just don't see a lot of qualities in him that Olivia values.
If you've gotten this far, I just don't know what to do. Olivia and my parents have a huge rift in their relationship right now and any mention of Trevor, with her around or not, explodes into a huge argument, discussion, or just icy silence. I want Olivia to be able to talk to me about him, and we are able to discuss things much better than she is with our parents. My parents have also started asking me about Olivia and Trevor because they know Olivia shares more with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't want to betray Olivia's trust, but I'm also very worried about her. I know I can't control her actions and I'm having a really hard time trying to balance supporting Olivia but not supporting the relationship (I'm not going to lie to her about how I feel, but I don't want her to feel alienated or unloved by our family, because that is NOT the case). I also think that Olivia is romanticizing the fact that our parents don't like him because my father's parents had a rift with him over our mother when we were very young (this is a whole other story, but basically, his parents always favored his sister, his sister got (I think) jealous when he did well for himself and married my mother, who his parents initially likes, and she made up rumors/lies about my mother that turned his parents against her (this was way before our mother's suspected mental health struggles, which occured when Olivia and I were in middle/high school).
Please share any thoughts you have on the situation (am I reading too into things, is this not as bad as I think it is?), and any advice you have on navigating the relationships.

So while traveling back home today I saw some new Buc-ee's signs. One was "Girl Dinner? Beaver Nuggets." The other was "Boy Dinner? Jerky." I don't understand this whole Girl/Boy Dinner thing. I think it was from tiktok, maybe. But I'm just wondering why is society gendering food like society genders pieces of fabric, colors, and activities.

15/M
I can't believe it. These are my final hours.
So much years of torment all come down to this. There is no better time, so I'll just have to through it now. This will be the most peaceful sleep of my existence. So much unwanted and vile shit spewed at me, finished, and buried. One more final string cut, and it'll all be let go.
Whatever is up there, please don't take my intentions as cruel, but just a way out of my suffering. I don't intend to harm others, but find a passage-way for myself and who I am. Bless.
Whatever afterlife there is, death, please welcome me with a warm hug. I'll take this gratitude and find happinesss of what will lie within. I am ready for this afterlife. If nothing, the comforting darkness will surely rest me with a greeting and a sign.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Take me.