Seeing a few Sunday Ticket posts starting to form, so here are some common questions, answered. If you have any other questions, please leave them as comments to this post.
What platforms is NFL Sunday Ticket available on? NFL Sunday Ticket is available either as an add-on to your YouTube TV Base Plan or as a standalone offering through YouTube Primetime Channels. You can watch NFL Sunday Ticket content on the YouTube or YouTube TV app regardless of which one you purchase through. Current pricing and promotional offers can be found here.
What if I'm not seeing the promotional rates that are advertised for Sunday Ticket? If you've had Sunday Ticket before, you are only eligible for the returning subscriber rate. If you aren't seeing any of the advertised promotional offers for your account under Settings > Membership on a browser, then please reach out to support directly. https://support.google.com/youtubetv/gethelp
What exactly is included in NFL Sunday Ticket? NFL Sunday Ticket allows you to watch out-of-market Sunday afternoon games (those typically on around 1 or 4 pm ET). Local channels like your local FOX, CBS, and NBC affiliates are not included in NFL Sunday Ticket, nor are national channels like ESPN. However, these are available with the YouTube TV Base Plan.
Are preseason games or postseason games included with NFL Sunday Ticket? No, only regular season, out-of-market games from FOX and CBS are included in Sunday Ticket. To watch preseason games, you'll need to check with your local team's broadcast schedule to see where the games are airing. A lot of times, they can be found on local channels or NFL Network, most of which are available on the YouTube TV Base Plan.
Postseason games are aired nationally, and most are available via the YouTube TV Base Plan as well. The exception are those that air exclusively on other streaming services.
What about exclusive streaming games, like those on ESPN+, Amazon Prime Video, Netflix, or Peacock? These games require independent subscriptions, and are not included with NFL Sunday Ticket, or the YouTube TV Base Plan.
What about other national games and the games on Thanksgiving? National games are not included in NFL Sunday Ticket, but are available with the YouTube TV Base Plan, unless the game has exclusivity with another service.
How many streams do I get with NFL Sunday Ticket? You'll get unlimited NFL Sunday Ticket streams at home and 2 additional streams for you and your household to use on the go. A few other callouts for YouTube TV:

• NFL Sunday Ticket streams are separate from your 3 Base Plan streams. Each add-on within YouTube TV has its own stream limits. You can check these out by going to your profile icon > Settings > Streaming Limits.
• Using the multiview feature only counts as 1 stream.
• If you buy the Sports Plus add-on, NFL RedZone will count towards your Sports Plus streaming limits.
• The 4K Plus add-on adds extra viewing options only for your YouTube TV Base Plan.
• DVRing doesn’t count towards your streaming limits unless you're watching the stream.

How can I get NFL RedZone? You can buy the NFL Sunday Ticket + NFL RedZone bundle as an add-on to your YouTube TV Base Plan or through YouTube Primetime Channels. You can also continue to buy the Sports Plus add-on which includes NFL RedZone.
Will you be offering a Student Plan? Yes! Student Plans are available for eligible students who sign up via YouTube Primetime Channels. With this, you can still view Sunday Ticket via the YouTube TV app, as long as you use the same account to purchase.
Will you be offering single team options? Currently there are no single team/individual game purchasing options.
Can I watch Sunday Ticket while traveling? Yes! You can continue to watch Sunday Ticket when traveling. If you're traveling to a different area, the available games will likely be different than what you can watch on Sunday Ticket at home.
And if you subscribe to the YouTube TV Base Plan and want to watch your local team away from home, you're covered, too. If the game isn't nationally aired, you can find them on a Sunday Ticket channel (unless it's exclusive to a different streaming service).
Will multiview be available and will I be able to customize the streams? Multiview will be available and there will be an extensive assortment of multiview streams every Sunday for you to choose from.
For the most control, start playback for a game you want to watch in a multiview stream. Click down twice and choose "Multiview" below the playback bar. Then click on the game combination you'd like to watch, or customize your own layout by choosing from the streams available.
If you have a YouTube TV Base Plan, multiview combinations will also include local NFL games for you to watch side-by-side with your NFL Sunday Ticket games.
Is complete customization available with multiview, if I want to watch some football alongside other channels? In terms of customization, the short answer is no. The goal with multiview is to make it available to everyone with a television. Since most devices don’t have native multiview capabilities, YouTube TV does the processing of video feeds on the server end. This means that every unique combination watched in multiview uses limited data center and computational resources.
Because each region has unique, local content, YouTube TV is especially constrained on the number of combinations we can create that include local feeds. They try to select the best combinations based on expected popularity, and are always improving our processes.
Can I pay for NFL Sunday Ticket monthly? Yes; subscribers in most states can sign up for NFL Sunday Ticket via a monthly payment plan.
Can I DVR games? As a reminder, you can watch NFL Sunday Ticket content on the YouTube or YouTube TV app regardless of which one you purchased through. And when you sign in to YouTube TV app, you have the option to record games.
Can I share NFL Sunday Ticket with my family group? If the family manager purchases NFL Sunday Ticket, family members can also watch Sunday ticket content. You can find out more information about family group requirements here.
What devices is playback supported on? Users can watch NFL Sunday Ticket on web and mobile devices that support YouTube TV. NFL Sunday Ticket playback will also be supported on smart TVs (made in 2016 and later), select older devices, and most newer streaming devices.

As India endeavours to strengthen its micro, small, and medium enterprises (MSMEs) sector through initiatives like Udyam Registration, it confronts a multifaceted challenge: imposing this framework throughout the state's various enterprise landscapes. While Udyam Registration guarantees a streamlined manner for MSMEs to avail benefits, the heterogeneous nature of India's commercial enterprise surroundings provides hurdles that demand tailor-made solutions for effective implementation.

One of the most demanding situations in implementing Udyam registration is the sheer range of companies running in India. From traditional cottage industries to high-tech startups, the spectrum of MSMEs is substantial and diverse. As a result, designing a registration framework that caters to the particular needs and capacities of every segment poses a significant challenge. Solutions to this undertaking entail growing customizable registration pathways that align with the unique requirements and abilities of different types of businesses. This could involve offering region-specific guidance, simplifying documentation necessities, and providing multilingual guides to accommodate agencies across linguistic and cultural diversities.

Moreover, the geographical spread of MSMEs throughout India affords logistical challenges in making sure full-size adoption of Udyam registration. Many small groups function in remote rural regions with restrained internet connectivity and digital literacy, hindering their capacity to get admission to online registration systems. Bridging this digital divide calls for modern answers, which include setting up registration facilitation centres in rural areas, deploying cell registration gadgets, and accomplishing awareness campaigns to teach marketers about the benefits of Udyam registration. Additionally, integrating offline registration mechanisms with online systems can ensure inclusivity and accessibility for organizations operating in areas with connectivity constraints.

Another vital undertaking lies in ensuring compliance and enforcement of Udyam registration guidelines across a tremendous and heterogeneous enterprise panorama. With thousands and thousands of MSMEs scattered across the country, tracking and imposing registration requirements pose a formidable challenge for the regulatory government. Addressing this task necessitates leveraging technology-driven solutions such as statistics analytics and synthetic intelligence to track registration popularity, discover non-compliant organizations, and streamline enforcement approaches. Additionally, organizing robust mechanisms for periodic audits and self-certification can promote responsibility and adherence to registration norms among MSMEs.

Furthermore, cultural and socio-financial elements impact the uptake of Udyam registration among specific segments of the business community. While some entrepreneurs can also understand registration as bureaucratic pink tape, others may lack attention to its advantages or face barriers due to winning socio-financial situations. Overcoming those boundaries requires a multi-pronged approach that mixes centered outreach projects, ability-constructing programs, and advocacy efforts to foster a way of life of compliance and participation in the registration system. Additionally, incentivizing registration via tax breaks, getting right of entry to finance, and enterprise development aid can inspire reluctant corporations to embrace Udyam Registration as a pathway to boom and legitimacy.

In conclusion, while Udyam Registration holds gigantic potential to empower India's MSME region, its powerful implementation requires navigating a complicated landscape of demanding situations. By adopting a nuanced approach that addresses the numerous needs and realities of agencies across India, coupled with innovative answers and stakeholder collaboration, the government can overcome obstacles and comprehend the full advantages of Udyam Registration in fostering an inclusive and sustainable financial boom.

Learn more at: https://registrationmsme.com/

Prices FIRM - CashApp/Venmo/PayPal Friends & Family
Disney/Marvel titles are split codes. Only redeem what you pay for. Thank you.
1917 (2019) (MA/4K) $5.50 (MA/HD) $3
355, The (2022) (MA/HD) $5.50
65 (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (2019) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $5.25
A Bug's Life (1998) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
A Man Called Otto (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
A Monster Calls (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
A Most Wanted Man (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
A Quiet Place (2018) (Vudu/4K) $4 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.50
A Simple Favor (2018) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
A United Kingdom (2016) (MA/HD) $5
A Vigilante (2018) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Abominable (2019) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $6.25
Ad Astra (2019) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4.25
Addams Family 2 (2021) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Adventures of Tintin (2011) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (2014) (MA/HD) $4.75
Alien Collection 1-6 (MA/HD) $19.50
Aliens (1986) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $6
Aloha (2015) (MA/HD) $2.50
Alvin and the Chipmunks 2: The Squeakquel (2009) (MA/HD) $5.50
Amazing Spider-Man (2012) (MA/HD) $4
Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014) (MA/HD) $5
Ambulance (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
American Assassin (2017) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
American Gangster (Extended Edition) (2007) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $5.75
American Hustle (2013) (MA/HD) $3.75
American Underdog (2021) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Amsterdam (2022) (MA/HD) $4.75
Angel Has Fallen (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Angel of Mine (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Angels & Demons (2009) (MA/4K) $6.50
Anna (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.25
Antlers (2021) (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $3.50
Ant-Man (2015) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $2.25
Apocalypse Now (Theatrical, Redux & Final Cut) (Vudu/4K) $6.50
Arnold Schwarzenegger 6-Movie (Vudu/HD) $13.50
Art of Racing in The Rain (MA/HD) $5.25
As Good As It Gets (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50
Asteroid City (2023) (MA/HD) $6
Avengers Collection 1-4 (MA/HD) $20 (GP/HD) $7.75
Babylon (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Bad Boys Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $12
Bad Times at The El Royale (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar (2021) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Barbie (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Batman, The (2022) (MA/4K) $4
Batman: Death in the Family (2020) (MA/HD) $4
Battleship (2012) (MA/4K) $4 (MA/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/4K) $3
Baywatch (2017) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) $2.25 (Vudu/HD) $1.25
Beast (2022) (MA/HD) $5.50
Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $3.50
Begin Again (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Belfast (2021) (MA/HD) $5
Ben-Hur (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Between Worlds (2018) (Vudu/HD) $5
Beverly Hills Cop (1984) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.25
Beyond the Reach (2015) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Big (1988) (MA/HD) $6
Big George Foreman (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Big Hero 6 (2014) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $1.50
Big Lebowski (1998) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $5.50
Big Short (2015) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Birds of Prey (2020) (MA/4K) $4 (MA/HD) $3
Black Adam (2022) (MA/4K) $6.25
Black And Blue (2019) (MA/HD) $5.75
Black Panther (2018) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4.25 (GP/HD) $1.75
Black Widow (2021) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $3
BlacKkKlansman (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
Blacklight (2022) (MA/HD) $3.50
Blindspotting (2018) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Blood Father (2016) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Blue Bayou (2021) (MA/HD) $6
Blue Beetle (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Blumhouse's The Craft: Legacy (2020) (MA/HD) $7
Bolt (2008) (MA/HD) $7.25
Bond: Spectre (2015) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Book Club: The Next Chapter (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25
Book of Life (2014) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Book Thief (2013) (MA/HD) $5.75
Boss Baby (2017) & Family Business (2021) (MA/HD) $5.50
Bourne Collection 1-5 (MA/4K) $25 (iTunes/4K) $18 (MA/HD) $14
Breach (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Breaking In (Unrated) (2018) (MA/HD) $4.75
Brian Banks (2019) (MA/HD) $3.50
Bridesmaids (2011) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3.50
Bridge of Spies (2015) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $3.50
Brightburn (2019) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $6.75
Bullet Train (2022) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $3.50
Cabin in the Woods (2012) (iTunes/4K) $2.75 (Vudu/HD) $2
Candyman (2020) (MA/HD) $4.75
Captain America: Civil War (2016) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.25
Captain America: Winter Soldier (2014) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $2.25
Captain Phillips (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50
Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017) (MA/HD) $2.75
Cars 1-3 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $15.50 (GP/HD) $9
Central Intelligence (Unrated) (MA/4K) $6.50
Charlie's Angels (2000) (MA/4K) $6.50
Chasing Amy (1997) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Child's Play (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $6.50
Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010) (MA/HD) $6.75
Cinderella 'Camila Cabello' (2021) (MA/HD) $4.50
Cinderella III: A Twist in Time (2007) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Clerks II (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Clerks III (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Clifford the Big Red Dog (2021) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Clown (2014) (Vudu/HD) $6
Cocaine Bear (2023) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $5.50
Collateral (2004) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Come Play (2020) (MA/4K) $6.50
Commuter (2018) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Conan The Barbarian (2011) (Vudu/4K) $5
Contractor (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Copshop (2021) (MA/HD) $6.75
Counselor (2013) (MA/HD) $3.25
Countdown (2019) (Vudu/4K) $5.75
Creed III (2023) (Vudu/4K) $6 (Vudu/HD) $3
Croods (2013) & A New Age (2020) (MA/HD) $6.25
Croods (2013) (MA/HD) $3
Cruella (2021) (MA/4K) $5.50 (MA/HD) $3.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Da Vinci Code (2006) (MA/4K) $6.50
Dark Crystal (1982) (MA/4K) $6.50
Dark Waters (2019) (MA/HD) $5.75
DC League of Super-Pets (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50
Dead Man Down (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50
Deadpool (2016) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $1.75
Deadpool 2 (2018) (MA/HD) $3
Death on the Nile (2022) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $3.50
Death Wish (2018) (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Dentist Collection 1-2 (1996-1998) (Vudu/HD) $5
Despicable Me Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $12.50
Devil's Due (2014) (MA/HD) $3
Devotion (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017) (MA/HD) $2
Die Another Day (2002) (Vudu/HD) $7
Die Hard 1-5 (MA/HD) $15
Dirty Dancing (1987) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
DisneyNature: Monkey Kingdom (2015) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
Django Unchained (2012) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022) (MA/HD) $2.75 (GP/HD) $2
Doorman (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Dora and the Lost City of Gold (2019) (Vudu/HD) $5 (iTunes/4K) $4.25
Downsizing (2017) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.25
Downton Abbey (2019) (MA/HD) $5
Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Dr. No (1962) (Vudu/HD) $6.75
Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) (iTunes/4K) $5.25 (MA/HD) $5
Draft Day (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.25 (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Dragonheart Collection 1-5 (MA/HD) $14
Dredd (2012) (Vudu/4K) $6.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Drive (2011) (MA/HD) $5
Dumb Money (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Earth Girls Are Easy (1988) (Vudu/HD) $5
El Mariachi (1993) (MA/HD) $6.50
Elemental (2023) (MA/HD) $5.75
Elvis (2022) (MA/4K) $5
English Patient (1996) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.75
Equalizer 3 (2023) (MA/HD) $5.75
Eternals (2021) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4.25 (GP/HD) $2.75
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) (Vudu/4K) $6.50
Evil Dead (2013) (MA/4K) $6.50
Evil Dead Rise (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
Exorcist: Believer (2023) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $6.50
Expendables 1-3 (Vudu/4K) $15 (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Extreme Prejudice (1987) (Vudu/HD) $5
F9: The Fast Saga + Director's Cut (2021) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4.75
Fabelmans (2022) (MA/HD) $5.50
Fall (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6
Fantasia (1940) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Fantasia 2000 (2000) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5
Fast & Furious Collection 1-10 (MA/4K) $28
Fast & Furious Collection 1-8 (MA/4K) $23 1-9 (MA/HD) $10
Fast X (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Father Stu (2022) (MA/HD) $5.25
Fatman (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Fault in Our Stars (2014) (MA/HD) $1.50
Fifty Shades of Grey + Unrated (2015) (MA/4K) $5.25 Unrated (MA/4K) $4.75
Fifty Shades of Grey 3-Movie + Unrated (MA/HD) $9.75
Five Feet Apart (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Flash, The (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
Flatliners (2017) (MA/HD) $4.25
Forever Purge (2021) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Fruitvale Station (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Fury (2014) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.25
Future World (2018) (Vudu/HD) $4
Gamer (2009) (Vudu/4K) $6.25 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Gangs of New York (2002) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Garfield (2004) (MA/HD) $6.50
Gate, The (1987) (Vudu/SD) $3.75
Gemini Man (2019) (Vudu/4K) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Ghostbusters (1984) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $3.50
Ghostbusters + Extended (2016) (MA/HD) $2.25
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021) (MA/HD) $3.50
Gifted (2017) (MA/HD) $4.50
Girl on the Train (2016) (iTunes/4K) $2 (MA/HD) $2.25
Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) (MA/HD) $6
Glory (1989) (MA/4K) $6.50
Godfather Trilogy (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $14
Gone Girl (2014) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.50
Grace Unplugged (2013) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Gran Turismo (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) (MA/HD) $3.75
Grease (1978), 2 (1982), Live! (2016) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $14
Gremlins (1984) (MA/4K) $4
Grey, The (2012) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.50
Groundhog Day (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50
Grown Ups 2 (2013) (MA/HD) $5
Grudge (2020) (MA/HD) $6.50
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) (MA/4K) $7.25 (iTunes/4K) $4.75 (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $1.75
Hands of Stone (2016) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Happy Death Day 2U (2019) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $6
Harriet (2019) (MA/HD) $4.25
Hateful Eight (2015) (Vudu/HD) $2
Heaven is for Real (2014) (MA/HD) $2.50
Hercules (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.50
Hitman (Unrated) (2007) (MA/HD) $6
Hitman's Bodyguard (2017) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Hobbs & Shaw (2019) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $3.50
Holiday Inn (1942) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Holiday, The (2006) (MA/4K) $6.50
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) (MA/HD) $3.50
Home Alone Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $6.50
Hook (1991) (MA/4K) $6.50
Hop (2011) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Hope Springs (2012) (MA/HD) $2.25
Hot Fuzz (2007) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/4K) $4
Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation (2018) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
Hotel Transylvania Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $16
House of 1,000 Corpses (2003), Devil's Rejects (2005), 3 From Hell (2019) (Vudu/HD) $6
House of Gucci (2021) (iTunes/4K) $5
How High (2001) (MA/HD) $6.50
How to Train Your Dragon Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $7.50
Hundred-Foot Journey (2014) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $4
Hunger Games Collection 1-4 (Vudu/HD) $6
I, Tonya (2017) (MA/HD) $5
Ice Age (2002) (MA/HD) $4.25
Ice Age Collection 1-5 (MA/SD) $16
Identity Thief (2013) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3.50
If Beale Street Could Talk (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
If I Stay (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Impossible, The (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Incredibles (2004) (iTunes/4K) $6 (GP/HD) $4.50
Independence Day: Resurgence (2014) (iTunes/4K) $2 (MA/HD) $1.50
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023) (MA/HD) $6
Indiana Jones Collection 1-4 (Vudu/4K) $24 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $20
Inferno (2016) (MA/HD) $3
Insidious: The Last Key (2018) (MA/HD) $5.50
Insidious: The Red Door (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25
Instructions Not Included (2013) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Interstellar (2014) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.75 (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Into the Woods (2014) (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $2.25
Iron Man 1-3 (iTunes/4K) $16 (GP/HD) $7.50
Iron Man 3 (2013) (iTunes/4K) $3 (MA/HD) $2.25 (GP/HD) $1.50
Isle of Dogs (2018) (MA/HD) $5.50
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016) (Vudu/4K) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Jason X (2001) (MA/HD) $6
Jaws (1975) (MA/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.50
Jaws (1975) Jaws 2 (1978) Jaws 3 (1983) Jaws: The Revenge (1987) (MA/HD) $15.50
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Jerry Maguire (1996) (MA/4K) $6.50
Jigsaw (2017) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2
Jingle All the Way (1996) (MA/HD) $6
John Wick Collection 1-3 (Vudu/4K) $16 (iTunes/4K) $14.50 (Vudu/HD) $8
Jojo Rabbit (2019) (MA/4K) $7.50
Jumanji (1995) (MA/4K) $6.50
Jumanji: Next Level (2019) & Welcome to the Jungle (2017) (MA/HD) $7
Jungle Book 2 (2003) (MA/HD) $6.50
Jurassic World Collection 1-5 (iTunes/4K) $17.50 (MA/HD) $8.50
Jurassic World Collection 1-6 (MA/HD) $11
Jurassic World: Dominion + Extended Cut (2022) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.75
Justice League: War World (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Kandahar (2023) (MA/4K) $7
Karate Kid (1984) (MA/4K) $6.50
Kick-Ass (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
Kicks (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.50
Kidnap (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Kimi (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75
Kin (2018) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Krampus (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.75
Kung Fu Panda 3 (2016) (MA/HD) $3
La La Land (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2.25 (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Labor Day (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Lady and the Tramp (1955) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $3.75
Last Duel, The (2021) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $4
Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $7
Last Witch Hunter (2015) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.50
Lawrence of Arabia (Restored Version) (1962) (MA/HD) $5
Legend of Hercules (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3
Leon: The Professional (Extended Cut) (1994) (MA/4K) $6.50
Life (2017) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $2.50
Lighthouse (Vudu/HD) $6
Lightyear (2022) (MA/4K) $4.75 (MA/HD) $2.50 (GP/HD) $1.75
Lilo & Stitch (2002) & Stitch Has a Glitch (2005) (MA/HD) $9.50 (GP/HD) $5.50
Lion King (1994) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2.75
Lion King 2: Simba's Pride (1998) (MA/HD) $6.25
Little Monsters (1989) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Little Women (2019) (MA/HD) $5.50
Live Die Repeat: Edge Of Tomorrow (2014) (MA/4K) $5.50
Lone Ranger (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Lone Survivor (2013) (MA/4K) $6.25 (iTunes/4K) $2 (MA/HD) $1.50
Longest Ride (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $1.25
Looper (2012) (MA/HD) $2.75
Lords of Salem, The (2012) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Lost City, The (2022) (Vudu/4K) $5.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Love, Simon (2018) (MA/HD) $2.75
Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile (2022) (MA/HD) $4.25
M3GAN + Unrated (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Ma (2019) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Madagascar Collection 1-4 (MA/HD) $15
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977) (MA/HD) $6.50
Marksman, The (2021) (MA/HD) $5
Marlowe (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Martian - Extended Cut (2015) (MA/4K) $7.75 (MA/HD) $5.25
Martian (Theatrical) (2015) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3
Mary Queen of Scots (2018) (MA/HD) $6
Maze Runner Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $14.50
McFarland, USA (2015) (MA/HD) $6 (GP/HD) $4.50
Meg 2: The Trench (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Meg Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $8.50
Memory (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Men (2022) (Vudu/HD) $5
Men in Black (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50
Men in Black Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $14.50
Mickey & Friends 10 Classic Shorts - Volume 2 (2023) (MA/HD) $6.25 (GP/HD) $5
Mickey & Minnie 10 Classic Shorts - Volume 1 (2023) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3.75
Midnight Meat Train (Unrated Director's Cut) (2008) (Vudu/HD) $5
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) & Minions (2015) (MA/HD) $7.25
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5
Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2
Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7
Mission: Impossible Collection 1-6 (iTunes/4K) $20 (Vudu/HD) $18
Mitchells Vs. The Machines (2021) (MA/HD) $4.25
Monster Hunter (2020) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4
Monster's Ball (2001) (Vudu/HD) $6
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (1983) (MA/4K) $6.75
Moonfall (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.75
Morbius (2022) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $3
Mortal Kombat Legends: Cage Match (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5.50
Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion's Revenge (2020) (MA/4K) $4
Mud (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Mulan 2 (2005) (MA/HD) $3.75
My Fair Lady (1964) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
My Girl (1991) & 2 (1994) (MA/SD) $6.50
Natural, The (1984) (MA/4K) $6
Never Grow Old (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
News of the World (2020) (MA/HD) $3.50
Night at the Museum 3-Movie (MA/HD) $11.50 (MA/SD) $8
Night Before (2015) (MA/HD) $4.50
Nightmare Alley (2021) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
No Country For Old Men (2007) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
No Hard Feelings (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Nope (2022), Get Out (2017) & Us (2019) (MA/HD) $9
Northman (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.75
Now You See Me 1-2 (Vudu/HD) $4 (iTunes/HD) $6.50
Nun 2 (2023) (MA/HD) $6
Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $3
Oliver! (1968) (MA/4K) $6.50
Olympus Has Fallen (2013) (MA/HD) $5
Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7
Oppenheimer (2023) (MA/HD) $7
Other Guys, The (2010) (MA/4K) $6.50
Ouija (2014) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Outfit (2022) (MA/HD) $7
Over the Hedge (2006) (MA/HD) $6.50
Overboard (2016) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Oz the Great and Powerful (2013) (MA/HD) $2 (GP/HD) $1
Pacific Rim Uprising (2018) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.25
Pain & Gain (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
ParaNorman (2012) (iTunes/HD) $5
Paul (2011) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4.25
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015) (MA/HD) $3.75
PAW Patrol: The Mighty Movie (2023) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010) (MA/HD) $6.75
Peter Rabbit (2018) & 2 (2021) (MA/HD) $7.50
Peter Rabbit 2 (2021) (MA/HD) $4
Philadelphia (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50
Philadelphia (1993) (MA/4K) $8
Pitch Perfect Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $11.50
Pixels (2015) (MA/HD) $5.50
Plane (2023) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5
Planet of the Apes 1-3 (Newer) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $10
Pocahontas (1995) (MA/HD) $6.25
Poms (2019) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Pope's Exorcist (2023) (MA/HD) $5.75
Power Rangers (2017) (iTunes/4K) $3 (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Pretty in Pink (1986) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Prey for the Devil (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016) (MA/HD) $6
Prince of Egypt (2002) (MA/HD) $5.50
Proud Mary (2018) (MA/HD) $4
Psycho (1960) (MA/HD) $4.50
Purge, The (2013) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.75
Puss in Boots (2011) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Raid Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $11.50
Rambo Collection 1-5 (Vudu/HD) $12.50
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Ratatouille (2007) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Red (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Red Dawn (2012) (Vudu/HD) $5.25 (iTunes/SD) $2
Red Sparrow (2018) (MA/HD) $4
Red Violin, The (1998) (Vudu/HD) $5
Replicas (2019) (Vudu/4K) $5
Reservoir Dogs (1992) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Riddick Collection 1-3 (Unrated) (MA/HD) $13.50
Ride Along 1-2 (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5 $2.75 Each
Rings (2017) (Vudu/HD) $2.75 (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2010) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.75
Risen (2016) (MA/HD) $4.50
Room (2015) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Rudy (Director's Cut) (1993) (MA/4K) $6.50
Rumble (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Runner Runner (2013) (MA/HD) $3.25
Saint Maud (2020) (Vudu/HD) $6
Same Kind of Different as Me (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2
Saw (2004) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
Saw Collection 1-7 (Vudu/HD) $9.75
Scarface (1983) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5
Scary Movie Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $13.50
Scoob (2020) (MA/4K) $4
Scream 5 (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Scream 6 (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6.50
Scream Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $13.50
Searching (2018) (MA/HD) $6.50
Secret Headquarters (2022) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Secret Life of Pets Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $7.25
Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013) (MA/HD) $2
Semper Fi (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.25
Sessions (2012) (MA/HD) $4.25
Sex Tape (2014) (MA/HD) $2.75
Shack (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Shang-Chi (2021) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.75
Shape of Water (2017) (MA/HD) $3.25
Shaun the Sheep Movie (2015) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
She's Having a Baby (1988) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Shrek the Third (2007) (MA/HD) $6
Shutter Island (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Sicario: Day of the Soldado (2018) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $3.75
Sick (2023) (MA/4K) $6.75
Silent Night, Deadly Night: 3-Film Collection (1989-1991) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014) (Vudu/HD) $6
Sing Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $6
Singin' in the Rain (1952) (MA/4K) $6
Sisters (Unrated) (2015) (MA/HD) $4 (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Slender Man (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
Smile (2022) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Smokey and the Bandit (1977) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4.50
Smokin' Aces (2007) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Snowden (2016) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/HD) $4
Social Network (2010) (MA/4K) $6.50
Son of a Gun (2015) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Son of God (2014) (MA/HD) $1.50
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022) (Vudu/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Space Between Us, The (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Spell (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $5
Spider-Man Collection 1-8 (MA/HD) $26
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.50
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Spirit Untamed: The Movie (2021) (MA/HD) $5.50
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (2003) (MA/HD) $4.75
Spotlight (2015) (MA/HD) $5 (iTunes/HD) $3
Spy Who Dumped Me (2018) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Stand Up Guys (2012) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Star Trek Beyond (2016) (Vudu/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/4K) $3.25
Star Trek Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) $9.50 (iTunes/4K) $13.50
Starship Troopers (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50
Stoker (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50
Straight Outta Compton (Unrated Director’s Cut) (2015) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Strange World (2022) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $4.25
Stuber (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Studio 666 (2022) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $6.25
Suburbicon (2017) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Suffragette (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3
Super Mario Bros Movie (2023) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $5.50
Super Troopers (2002) (MA/HD) $5.50
Superman: Red Son (2020) (MA/HD) $4
SW: Empire Strikes Back (1980) (MA/4K) $7 (GP/HD) $3.50
SW: Rise of Skywalker (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.25
SW: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $1.25
Sword in the Stone (1963) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
T2 Trainspotting (2017) (MA/HD) $7
Tag (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50
Taken Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $9
Talk to Me (2023) (Vudu/4K) $6.50
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006) (MA/4K) $6.50
Tar (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Taxi Driver (1976) (MA/4K) $6.50
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6.50
Thanksgiving (2023) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Think Like a Man (2012) & Too (2014) (MA/HD) $8.50
Thor (2011) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $7 (GP/HD) $3.50
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.25 (GP/HD) $2
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) (MA/HD) $3.50
Ticket to Paradise (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Till (2022) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Titanic (1997) (Vudu/4K) $6.50 (Vudu/HD) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) $6
Top Gun (1986) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Total Recall (1990) (Vudu/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Trading Places (1983) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Training Day (2001) (MA/4K) $6
Transformers 1-5 (Vudu/4K) $25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $23
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts (2023) (Vudu/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6
Trauma Center (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $3.25
Trolls (2016) (MA/HD) $1.25
Trolls Band Together (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Trolls Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $5.75
True Story (2015) (MA/HD) $5.25
Tully (2018) (MA/HD) $5
Turbo (2013) (MA/HD) $2.50 (iTunes/SD) $1
Turning Red (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $2.50
Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.75
Uncharted (2022) (MA/4K) $5.25 (MA/HD) $3.25
Uncle Drew (2018) (Vudu/4K) $6 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Uncut Gems (2019) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Underwater (2020) (MA/HD) $5.50
Underworld: Awakening (2012) (MA/HD) $1.75
Unhinged (2020) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Up (2009) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Usual Suspects, The (1995) (Vudu/HD) $6
Vertigo (1958) (MA/HD) $4.75
Vice 'Christian Bale' (2018) (MA/HD) $4.75
Violent Night (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Vivo (2021) (MA/HD) $4
Walking with Dinosaurs (2013) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
WALL-E (2008) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $7.50
Walt Disney Animation Studios Shorts Collection (2015) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3.75
War of the Worlds (1953) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Waves (2019) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Whale, The (2022) (Vudu/HD) $6
When the Bough Breaks (2016) (MA/HD) $4.50
Where the Crawdads Sing (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Whiplash (2014) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
White Boy Rick (2018) (MA/HD) $5
Widows (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $2
Winter's Bone (2010) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Witch, The (2016) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Woman King (2022) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $4
Wonder Woman: Bloodlines (2019) (MA/HD) $4
World War Z (2013) (Vudu/HD) $3.25 (iTunes/4K) $4.50
Wraith, The (1986) (Vudu/HD) $5
X (2022), Hereditary (2018), Witch, The (2016), Green Room (2015), It Comes at Night (2017) (Vudu/HD) $14
X-Men (2000), X2 (2003), X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) (MA/HD) $14
X-Men: Apocalypse (2016) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.25
X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019) (MA/HD) $6
X-Men: First Class (2010), Days of Future Past (2004), Apocalypse (2014) (MA/HD) $10.50
Yesterday (2019) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4.75
Zombieland (2009) (MA/4K) $7.25
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $5.25

Edit: If you are going to comment on the length of this post, please don't. This is not a simple snark but rather an actual critical think piece about feminism and Taylor Swift.

Introduction

Pertaining to Taylor Swift, "Female Rage" has deviated from its intended meaning after Swift debuted a new performance of The Tortured Poets Department during the Eras Tour. Now, according to Swift's use of the phrase, female rage is interpreted as public backlash against Swift's dating choices rather than as a response to the broader injustices against women and women's rights. This post examines Taylor Swift's flawed feminism, philanthropy, branding, and the controversial trademark petition for the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical". Swift's background as an entertainer, indeterminate politics, and alignment with capitalism over feminism pervades her legacy, again threatening her public tolerance as not just an individual but as a brand.

Once Upon a Female Rage...

If you were cognizant in the early 2010's, you've heard countless jabs at Taylor Swift in the media. Magazines, radio, or online. Music critics did not take her seriously as a songwriter; parents put a woman on an unrealistic pedestal as the ideal role model for their children; she dated too much and used men as lyrical fodder. No matter the story, it inevitably spread, conjoined with everyone's respective opinions, and you'd be left to wonder, "Why does everyone hate this girl so much?"
Taylor's target demographic has always been young or adolescent girls, more so when Swift herself was one. She made music that spoke to the awkward misfit, cultivating a para-social relationship with fans on MySpace, then later twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, where Taylor posted relatable vlogs showcasing the life of a homegrown American girl. Taylor had a delayed public "growing up" and, compared to her female pop contemporaries, Swift never "gratuitously sexualized her image and seems pathologically averse to controversy" (and, apparently, never even had a sip of alcohol until she turned 21). She was more than happy to spin this narrative to allude to an inherent moral superiority above other women in the industry (Better Than Revenge, heard of it?), engaging in the very slut-shaming that she herself endured (the Madonna and Whore archetypes). The victim complex arose with the need to prove Taylor as a different type of pop girl. Based upon her holy and clean image, Swift had been dubbed "a feminist's nightmare", and that "[To Swift] other girls are obstacles; undeserving enemies who steal Taylor’s soulmates with their bewitching good looks and sexual availability." Feminism and Tennessee-Christian country values don't exactly mix, it seems.
Years later, Swift befriended Lena Dunham and thus experienced white feminism osmosis, where Dunham taught Swift that real feminists defend rapists, makes insensitive jokes about rape and abortion, and prioritize all-white casts. Swift then declared herself a feminist in 2014, saying,

"Becoming friends with Lena – without her preaching to me, but just seeing why she believes what she believes, why she says what she says, why she stands for what she stands for – has made me realize that I’ve been taking a feminist stance without actually saying so."

I suppose the male-centric songwriting subject that permeates Swift's discography contained covert feminism and that we just didn't see that. Perhaps, the "Bad Blood" song and music video were written only in jest and not about poor Katy Perry, for Swift, as a feminist, would "never make it a girl fight" or tear other women down (though all Katy did was date your terrible ex-boyfriend and allegedly steal three backup dancers from your tour). In 2013, Swift said, in response to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's joke towards her serial dating, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."
There was that time in 2015 Taylor said that Nicki Minaj was "invited to any stage [she is] on" (as if Taylor expects to have access to every stage, award, and platform that Nicki might not otherwise have as a black female artist...yikes!) in response to Nicki's criticism of the white + thin VMA nominations. Later, Nicki responded with confusion, as Swift continued, "It’s unlike you to pit women against each other. Maybe one of the men took your slot..". Of course, this 'beef' was 'squashed' when Nicki performed with Taylor at the VMAs, with Nicki quite literally only having 38 seconds of stage time without Taylor. Maybe all that parading around with a legion of famous white women - similar to the way Taylor might've done with her numerous 1989-era handbags - was in fact a stance against gender inequality, and that this display of "girl power" should be enough to constitute Swift as a feminist icon.
Even while Swift says that Dunham informed her feminist outlook, she dances around the exact contents of those beliefs: "what she believes, what she says, what she stands for" is not exactly insightful towards what beliefs Swift might have inherited. Taylor never broaches women's rights topics such femicide, FGM, forced pregnancy & marriage, sex trafficking, women in slavery, women's financial and political oppression, women's educational rights, women's health, or women's autonomy, so we can assume she only gives a fuck about "girls supporting girls" (whatever that fucking means).
Despite some questionable (and sometimes vindictive) behavior, Taylor as a young woman did not deserve every media lashing that she received. We cannot deny that most headlines and criticisms perpetuated a misogynistic rhetoric which has plagued Swift for a majority of her career. Acknowledging events such as the development of her ED, her sexual assault trial, "Famous" lyric and MV depiction of Taylor, and the explicit Twitter deepfakes, for example, as both disgusting and unfortunate things that happened to a young woman in Hollywood does not negate the fact that Taylor is mostly a performative feminist.

Get Your Fucking Ass Up and Be a Philanthropist, It Seems Like Nobody Wants to Be a Philanthropist These Days

In 2013, Taylor Swift cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the Taylor Swift Education Center at the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, Tennessee. The donation amount - $4 million - was the largest individual artist gift ever donated to the Country Music Hall of Fame, which is, of course, mentioned on Swift's website. The two-story facility features three classrooms, an instrument room, and an interactive children's exhibit gallery. Swift also performed at "All for the Hall" charity shows and has donated numerous artifacts from her career (such as notable guitars, tour costumes, etc) to the museum.
This was over 11 years ago, and it is still the only notable philanthropic contribution Taylor Swift has made.
For a woman of her net worth and stature, and a woman who recognizes the difficulties for women in film and music, you would think that Taylor Swift might establish a scholarship program for women to study the arts or something. Perhaps Swift might even consider becoming a member of organizations that support female artists, or one that supports LGBTQ+ causes (since she is now proudly an ally), yet she remains superficial with her graces. Broader philanthropy, such as donating relief aid to Palestinian women or women impacted by violence and discrimination will probably never receive any financial support from Miss Swift because then she'd be using her money towards philanthropies involving anyone but white entertainers.
She even says herself in Miss Americana, "My entire moral code as a kid and now is a need to be thought of as 'good'." Well, she's certainly thought of as good, though her actions say otherwise. She's more than happy to do a vaguely altruistic song and dance for a clip-worthy interview quote and mass appeasement, then fuck off to one of her mansions on a 20 minute private jet flight, rather than actually contribute to anything pertaining to the causes she has endorsed. Yet, far too many people continue to give a woman such as her their money, time, and energy, and she hoards these resources to herself.

I Like Some of the Taylor's Songs, But What the Fuck Does She Know About Feminism?

Swift continued with her self-proclaimed feminist campaign, positioning herself as a political activist and LGBTQ+ ally in the Miss Americana documentary. The primary focus of the documentary consists of the sexual assault trial, Andrea Swift's cancer diagnosis, Taylor's ED and body dysmorphia, media scrutiny, and, largely, finally speaking up about her politics publicly, mostly her opposition to the 2018 Tennessee Republican senate candidate, Marsha Blackburn, and Blackburn's beliefs. Swift says, following a scene discussing her experience during the trial,

"I just couldn't really stop thinking about it. And I just thought to myself, next time there is any opportunity to change anything, you had better know what you stand for and what you want to say."

We must ask ourselves, though: when has Swift ever spoken up to change anything? Okay, pulling her entire catalogue from Spotify because they didn't pay their artists enough and similarly pulling her catalogue from Apple Music are changes that she leveraged due to her revenue potential and power, but they are not pertinent to the average woman's rights. Moreover, these are issues that directly impacted Taylor's income, which was enough reason for her to protest in the first place. Swift has sold the most units for a female artist in first week sales, is the first female artist with 100k monthly Spotify listeners, is the first female artist to win the Album of the Year Grammy 4 times, and is the first female artist to do X, Y, and Z, all while being inoffensive and family-friendly to boot. The actual Taylor Swift seems unwilling to compromise the brand of Taylor Swift by contributing in meaningful ways to feminist causes, especially if it is for women outside of America and Hollywood.
The reason political anthems such as "The Man" and "Only the Young" of the Lover era feel disingenuous and corporate is because, well, it is. Taylor has taken every opportunity to advance her career or public image at the expense of other women. What is truly genuine to Taylor's outlook on other women is vying for male attention, taking down female competition, and vocalizing feminist injustices only if they directly impact her and her money. Some will argue that it's satisfactory for a woman with such a huge platform to even TALK about feminism, but that just isn't enough. It's even less impressive when you candidly look at the scope of her feminist lens: "If I was the man, then I'd be THE MAN", or "I really resent the ‘Be careful, buddy, she’s going to write a song about you’ angle, because it trivialises what I do", and, of course, "We all got crowns". Feminism, but only when it happens to me. It gets worse when you look at Taylor's track record of copying other famous women and removing other female artists as potential threats to her pop prowess.
It's good for PR to align yourself with certain blanket feminist and political beliefs, therefore good for branding, therefore good for ticketing and merchandise sales, therefore good for business. And Taylor Swift is a business.
She's not a feminist. Taylor Swift is a capitalist.

I Can't Pay Those Sweatshop Workers a Livable Wage or Benefits! How Else Would I Make My Billions?

Recently, Taylor's team filed to trademark the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical" after Taylor said during Paris N1 of the Eras Tour,

"So you were the first ones to see The Tortured Poets at the Eras Tour...or as I like to call it, 'Female Rage: The Musical'."

This trademark petition was filed last week on Saturday, and news comes about just as numerous unofficial fan-made merch designs have cropped up with this phrase plastered on Fruit of the Loom basics. I'm of the opinion Swift's team motioned for a trademark so that they can send out cease & desists to all those that make knockoff merch, which disrupts potential sales for Bravado, UMG's choice merchandising company; however, since it was filed earlier, perhaps Swift has bigger plans with the bizarre use of the gendered phrase. One Swiftie referred to the phrase "female rage" as "a funny Eras Tour joke". Could it be a possible fourth version of the Eras Tour Movie? Whatever the reason, the motion to capitalize off of such a concept is disgusting, but not unsurprising, for a woman that profits on her vain feminism.
Swift, through her company, TAS Rights Managements, has also trademarked over 200 phrases, including "1989", where she owns the property rights to this calendar year on keychains, phone cases, sunglasses, stationary, bags, beverage ware, clothing, entertainment services, your subconscious, and, of course, Christmas ornaments.
The vapid consumerism in Swiftie culture is, frankly, disgusting. Bravado's sustainability statement is non-existent, the quality control is abysmal, and the materials they use are horrible. The materials, such as acrylic and polyester, are made from petrochemicals. This means they are non-renewable, shed microplastics, and are quite toxic in production. The manufacturing process to make all of those lazy-rushed Eras Tour logo graphic tees is a huge blow to environmental well-being. Apparently, though, Swifties don't give a fuck. They sell out products in seconds and either have to face the manufactured scarcity or buy from a scalper that resells for 200% of the already ridiculous retail price. This doesn't include the environmental impact of vinyl records, CD, and cassette production, of which Taylor produces many variants that sell unsustainable amounts.
If we're talking about women's rights violations, why is no one acknowledging the women that work in the inhumane sweatshop conditions that have to pump out fugly t-shirts and hats? The millions of plastic microfiber dander they are inhaling, or the toxic dyes that touch their bare skin? Are they being compensated fairly for their skilled labour and are they in safe working environments? Do these women have minimal bargaining power, and do they have authority over their worker's rights? Is Taylor Swift female raging at their injustices? Does Taylor Swift ever feels bad that her wealth was built on the backs of women of color, disadvantaged by the demands of the global economy and garment industry? Do you think she ever says a little white feminist prayer for them before she goes to sleep at night?
What's even crazier is not that Taylor herself doesn't care, it's that Swifties don't care. There CANNOT BE ethical billionaires. You only make a billion dollars if you are exploiting other human beings for capital gain. Based on public perception of the possible "Female Rage: The Musical" trademark, it seems like Swifties are already asking for merch with this phrase. "If Taylor made it, I'd buy it." Oh, cool. So not only do you champion Miss Swift's avarice and billionaire status, but you also are unashamed to admit to your blind consumption of her music and merchandise, no matter where they might originate in production or sincerity. Just as Swift takes and takes and takes, Swifties' consumerism of Taylor Swift cannot be quelled.
The tortured artist's most vulnerable and sincere poetry...available now in 21 different versions!

I Am Tortured Poet, Hear Me Whinge

Look - even if Taylor's intention is to characterize TTPD as more "tortured" and "angry", the main thread of the album is "I was ghosted by my decade-long situationship with a controversial indie boy and my fucking stupid fans wrote a 'Speak Up Now' open letter prompting me to drop him" anger, which is adequately expressed in the lyrics and performances. The extent of Taylor's "female rage" on TTPD is on tracks such as "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?", which contends with relentless media scrutiny; "But Daddy I Love Him", where Swift firmly states she'll date whoever she likes no matter how "Sarahs and Hannahs" may react; and "The Albatross", a track mythologizing her reputation and the consequences of dating her. Of course, these coincide with deep psychological wounds that formed during Swift's early years in the media, and so, from her feminist perspective, these subjects tackle the misogyny and double standards that she faced.
Yet Taylor Swift still has no grounds to be claiming that TTPD best exemplifies female rage and therefore she, in the context of this album, is female rage incarnate. As the daughter of a stock broker and mutual fund marketing executive, Taylor was born into wealth and allowed privileges like trips and subsequent relocation to Nashville all so that she might get a record deal. Her father even invested at least $120,000 into the then-fledgling label, Big Machine Records, which ensured Taylor's place with Borchetta after leaving her dead-end development deal with Sony. The fact that her parents were able to buy her a fucking brand new guitar for Christmas and pay for music lessons says so much about the financial security and safety of her childhood.
Money is privilege and protection, and despite Swift's experiences with misogyny and loser boyfriends, she does not know what female rage is.
Her rage is derived from her frustrations with her obsessive fans pulling the moral superiority card on Taylor in response to her rebound with Matty Healy. That's literally it. She's just pissed that the monster she created is no longer obediant, it's become a feral, sovereign entity that depletes the world of its natural resources and thinks it is more intelligent than it actually is because it's mommy has started to talk to it with big words. Apparently, 'illicit', 'elegy', 'nonchalant', and 'precocious' are considerably big words for the oafish monster, and I find it strange that this level of literacy is present in a group of fans that allegedly have GPAs of 3.5 or higher, but I digress.
Taylor Swift has never been one paycheck away from destitution. Taylor Swift has never experienced racial discrimination. She may have instances of gender discrimination, but she possesses the ideal white, blonde American beauty standard and therefore reaps the benefits of being a conventionally attractive woman. Taylor Swift has sufficient social capital. Taylor Swift is a billionaire woman prolonging her victimhood though she, as a woman, has mostly had control over her image and music (unlike her contemporaries). Taylor Swift is NOT entitled to be championed for her "female rage", nor should she be. Taylor Swift has never even been the struggling artist, for fuck's sake. I don't give a fuck if she's trying to fill the empty lunch tables of her past. Taylor Swift purporting herself, her unpolished album, and her lukewarm feminism as a musical bleeding with female rage is asinine.

Sigh Try and Come For My Job, Poors

Out there in the world right now is a 23-year-old woman, a recent college grad, who works as a barista. She has to wake up and get ready to go into a minimum wage job because she cannot get a job in her field. She doesn't have healthcare benefits or sick time, so she has to go into work no matter how she's feeling. All day long she is berated by vicious customers and creepy men, and, exhausted from being on her feet, she knows she has to go home to her shitty roommate that never does the dishes and her roommate's shitty dog. To comfort herself, she considers getting a treat, but thinks against it when she remembers that matcha lattes cost $15 and they taste like milky dirt. She knows that she needs to buy groceries this week, and so the woman resolves to go home, but notices that her gas tank is low. She goes to put gas in the car, but the pump stops at $27.86 because that's all that she has in her checking account. The woman, bereft and reeling, sinks into the driver's seat. "Well," she thinks, her head in her hands, "at least I don't have Taylor Swift's job. I just couldn't imagine."
Fame is somewhat of a choice. If at any moment Taylor feels that she is misunderstood, misconstrued, or overwhelmed by public opinion, she can LEAVE the public eye - Lord knows she has the retirement fund and residuals to do so. In "I Can Do It With a Broken Heart", the TTPD song about meeting the demands of your career-zenith mega-tour while in the relationship trenches, Taylor ends the song by rambling,

"You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart...you know you're good...and I'm good, cause I'm miserable, and no one even knows!...try and come for my job."

Yeah, obviously we wouldn't know, you recently passed the billionaire threshold and are the most famous and in-demand performer in the world right now. Taylor Swift makes an estimated $10 to $13 million dollars A NIGHT on the Eras Tour. Furthermore, the Eras Tour movie grossed $261.6 million globally, (which, as the producer, Taylor takes home 57% of the ticket sales) not counting the streaming revenue from Amazon Prime Video and the estimated $75 million deal that Disney paid to have it on Disney+. We're not even considering the income from cheap plastic popcorn buckets and drink cups plastered with colored squares in her Era-specific likeness.
It's funny. Taylor Swift often said that being famous wasn't hard, that she "isn't complaining". I'm sure it is difficult to always have to present in a good mood, else you'll end up misrepresented in the media, and I'm sure it's invasive to virtually have no privacy or semblance of anonymity. Still, Taylor Swift shows up each night of tour and performs. For a majority of her career, she has penned her sad songs while on the road. Most of "Red", her breakup album, was written in the thick of the Speak Now World tour. Now, some Swifties say they almost "feel bad" for attending the Eras Tour with Swift's revelations in this song, that they have had a 'dimmed experience' upon hearing Taylor's misery whilst performing. Despite the fact that Taylor said that "this was the happiest she's ever been" at Gilette Stadium in May, the lyrics "boohoo, woe is me, smile for the cameras and make the fans happy!!!" are jarring for Eras attendees.
While Taylor Swift was making double-digit millions a night in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and feeling miserable, Ana Clara Benevides Machado passed away due to heat exposure. The concert promoters, Time For Fun, are now the subject of a criminal investigation due to their lack of adequate hydration and safety. Taylor Swift cancelled the Sunday show that was to follow and offered VIP tent tickets to Benevides Marchado's family, which was a kind gesture, but perhaps incongruous to the incident of which they were offered as consolation. Everyone grieves differently, of course, but I'm not sure attending the very show at the very same venue that my daughter or sister passed away in two days prior, where the singer CONTINUED the show despite her death, would be healthy for closure.
There was no female rage at the show as Swift never saw Benevides Machado pass out. There was no female rage towards the disregard for fans as humans while Swift elected to proceed with her Brazil tour dates despite the country being in historic heatwaves (at risk of overheatting herself). If Taylor Swift was so shaken by touring with a broken heart or a fan's passing, she wouldn't have added an additional North American leg of Eras just two months after the Matty breakup. She's brokenhearted but willing to mend the cracks with your money and move onward with her worldwide female rage induced pillaging.
No matter what happens, even if you die at a Taylor Swift concert, Taylor collects a big fat check and flies away. She doesn't know you as anything other than a conversion rate or earning potential despite what her nearly 20-year long parasocial relationship with fans might otherwise indicate. She knows that, while some Swifties are without disposable income, they feel obligated to spend on a "48 Hours Only!" exclusive vinyl variant instead of necessities because they are so entrenched in Taylor Swift's intoxicating celebrity, they'll prioritize materialistic fandom before their needs. This is good enough for her because this means she can expand her real estate portfolio and finance her cat's lavish lifestyles. They're worth an estimated $100 million dollars. Her three cats could pool their net worth and solve world hunger.
While you and I might be denied bereavement leave and barely surviving the current political and economic climate, Taylor Swift has to, instead of gets to, perform for stadiums at full attendance for three nights in a row across the globe. You and I might be replaced by AI at our longtime jobs, but Taylor Swift is threatened with losing more and more money each time you listen to a "Stolen Version" of her songs. If we don't buy every variant of all of her albums, then who is going to pay for the fucking cats?
It is tone deaf to spend as she spends and lives as she lives in this economy, but this is her reality. She was able to donate $100,000 to all of her tour truck drivers, and that's wonderful, but it leads me to wonder about the ethos of the 2020s where one woman can hoard such life-changing amounts of money. Remember in 2014 when she gave a fan $90 ($120 in today's money) to get Chipotle because she had no fucking clue how much it cost? This is a 34-year-old woman who is increasingly out of touch with the reality for working class people and women in general. Normal everyday adults must wake up and go to their thankless jobs, and yet Taylor Swift, despite all her riches, incessantly references the lows of her life and career as a public figure and entertainer to farm sympathy and drive sales. And still, the corporate women have latched onto "I cry a lot, but I am so productive! It's an art!" as their cubicle battle cry.
Do you think that, from up in her private jet, Taylor Swift gazes at the world through her poetic, tortured eyes, and thinks, "All the little people, in their cars, walking, going about their lives...all those girls that don't support girls...do they know that I've made an album about female rage?"

Conclusion/TLDR

Thank you for reading. I would love to hear your critical insights towards this entire ordeal: TTPD, the trademark, the implications of it all.
TLDR: Taylor Swift is a bad feminist and is delusional to think that the TTPD eras set exemplifies female rage at women's injustice.

Reading is often touted as one of the most fundamental skills a child can develop. But why is it so important, especially in the early years? Let's take a look at the importance of reading for children in the nursery and explore ten reasons why it should be a cornerstone of early childhood education.
1. Language development: Through reading, children learn new words, phrases and sentence structures, which helps them build a rich vocabulary and understand the nuances of language. This early exposure lays a strong foundation for effective communication skills later in life.
Haebix Preschool, a pioneer in language development, stands among best pre schools in india. With innovative methods, it nurtures linguistic skills in young learners, fostering communication and cognitive growth. Renowned for its holistic approach to education, Haebix is a beacon of excellence in early childhood development across the nation.
2. Cognitive development: Engaging with books stimulates various cognitive functions, including memory, attention and problem solving. As children interpret stories, make connections and predict outcomes, their cognitive skills are sharpened and critical thinking and analytical skills are enhanced.
3. Imagination and creativity: Books are portals to countless worlds, adventures and ideas. When children immerse themselves in stories, they exercise their imagination by imagining characters, settings and scenarios, which in turn boosts their creativity and innovation.
4. Emotional intelligence: Stories often deal with complex emotions and interpersonal relationships, which helps children to understand and manage their feelings. Through the characters' experiences, children learn empathy, resilience and how to deal with life's ups and downs.
5. Bonding and socialization: Reading together fosters a strong bond between children and caregivers. It is a special time of bonding, conversation and shared experiences and reinforces the importance of relationships and social interactions.
6. Cultural awareness: Books offer insights into different cultures, traditions and perspectives. Exposure to literature from around the world expands children's understanding of the human experience and promotes tolerance, acceptance and global awareness.
Haebix preschool in greater noida is renowned for its focus on cultural awareness. Through diverse activities and celebrations, it fosters a rich understanding of traditions and values from around the world. At Haebix, children not only learn academics but also develop respect and appreciation for different cultures, promoting global citizenship from an early age.
7. Preparing for school: Reading readiness is a critical aspect of preparing children for formal education. By introducing letters, sounds, and basic reading and writing concepts early, children in kindergarten develop the foundational skills they need to succeed in school.
8. Lifelong learning: Instilling a love of reading from an early age sets the stage for lifelong learning and personal growth. Children who love to read are more likely to acquire knowledge, explore new interests and continue their education beyond the classroom.
9. Better focus: In a world full of distractions, the ability to focus is invaluable. Reading requires sustained attention and helps children improve their ability to concentrate, which can benefit them in various areas of life, from academics to everyday tasks.
10. Academic success: Numerous studies have established a link between early reading skills and academic achievement later in life. Children who start reading early tend to do better in school, excel in language arts and develop a solid foundation for learning in all subjects.
At Haebix Preschool, we prioritize reading as a fundamental aspect of early childhood education. Our curriculum includes a rich selection of age-appropriate books and literacy activities designed to instill a lifelong love for reading in every child. Through storytelling, group reading sessions, and interactive learning experiences, we aim to nurture confident, curious, and engaged young readers who are ready to embark on a journey of discovery and exploration.
So reading is not just a pastime, but a fundamental skill that shapes children's development in many ways. From language and cognitive skills to social-emotional growth and academic success, the benefits of reading in kindergarten are profound and far-reaching. By fostering a culture of reading from the earliest years, we empower children to explore, learn and thrive in a rapidly changing world. So let's open the doors to the enchanting world of books and send our little ones on a lifelong journey of discovery and imagination.

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU #6
Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
RECAP
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.  
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.  
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.  
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.  
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.  
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.  
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!  
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.  
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.  
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!

OOP: He'll be able to, I just know it. He's used to dealing with the wildlife and having hawks about, but he just wasn't expecting one to snag a meal right from his new feeder.
I told him it was "technically" still a bird feeder. Just....for bigger birds. Which he thought was funny. He said he might make a little "no hawks allowed" sign to put up next to it.

MissOP: keep the updates coming. the moms are so close to folding it's just a little bit more. LMAO also, the bro mance between your husband and brother is so cute. lol Honestly, I think your husband making sure he has a side piece of Sebastian is absolutely the play.

OOP: So far still no word from the moms, but I hope you're right. I would love an apology and for us to begin moving past this. But I NEED that apology. I feel selfish saying that, but I refuse to "be the bigger person" on this. I just won't.
As for my brother and husband, yeah, they're basically soul mates. The two hit it off immediately when they first met, and they've been thick as thieves for years.  

Update: February 27, 2024
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!  
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?

OOP: I don't think mom thought too far ahead. I believe she assumed it would all just magically work out the way she wanted it to. She said she wasn't sure what she was expecting to happen (which I think was a lie, but I wasn't going to push it).

mak_zaddy: This was a great update! But ummmmmm no stardew valley update? What gives? Has Sebastian been woo’ed? How’s Leah? What’s happening?

OOP: Sebastian has indeed been wooed (and whoohooed) There's kids and cows and chickens. The two are still having a wonderful time at the game. They're working on completing the community center but it's slow going as they aren't trying to speedrun and just doing things as they want. I believe they're thinking about going into the desert mines once they complete that bundle, but they're both super chicken shit about it!

-my-cabbages: I don't really understand what you had to apologize for ... but I'm glad you're happy and the situation seems to be settling down

OOP: There wasn't much of an apology on my end, as everyone agreed I had done nothing wrong. Mine was more of a "I'm sorry you didn't feel as though I would listen." Type apology, which I don't really believe is a proper apology because apologies like that push the blame back on another. I mostly expressed my feelings and the shock of it all, and how betrayed I felt.  

----NEW UPDATE----

Small, happy update: May 7, 2024 (1 month later)
Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

Since high school hanggang nag college ako never ako nagkaroon ng circle of friends. Napapasama naman ako minsan sa mga circle nila pero alam niyo yung feeling na extra ka lang dun? Like pag may kailangan sila lumalapit sila sayo pero pag may mga gala sila sila sila lang nagyayayaan tas makikita mo nalang na nagpost na sila ng picturr together.
Then after we graduated, nagkaroon ako ng close friends na classmates ko ,dalawa. Sabay kaming nag enroll sa review center, sabay kaming nagfile for board examination, sabay kaming nag aaral, basta super close kami that time. Hanggang sa natapos yung board exams and naging close din namin yung isang circle na classmate din namin. Sinasama kami pag may mga gala sila like sa beach or fiesta or kahit sa bahay lang nila to hang out. Sabay sabay din kami pumunta nung oath taking kasi thankfully pasado kami lahat. Then sa mga thanksgiving parties nila invited kami lagi. Tapos yung kinasal yung isa kasama kami sa mga bridesmaids.
Then recently yung unang naging close ko na kasama ko mula nung before pa kami nagreview hanggang sa nakapasa kami eh di na masyado nagchachat sakin. I mean I understand naman na may work na siya and iba na priorities niya. Actually di ko pa nga alam na may work na siya eh. Dun ko na nalaman nung nag attend kami ng kasal. Sabi niya need daw niya ng picture as proof kasi umabsent lang siya. Nag ask ako ano ba work niya sabi niya secret. Okay, di ko na pinilit. Pero malalaman ko na sa bago naming naging close nag oopen up pala siya at nagsheshare. Nadisappoint ako kasi kami unang naging close ehh. Okay lang sana kung kung nagsesecret siya sakin tas ganun din sa mga bago naming friends diba. Kaso hindi, sakin lang siya ganun, tas malalaman ko sa bago naming naging close na alam pala nila kung anong work ni girl pati boyfriend ni girl. I felt so left out. Parang sila na yung mas close tas ako out of the picture na?
Tas eto pa, dati iniinvite ako ni girl sa birthday niya at fiesta sa kanila tas recently nakita ko nalang sa post na umuwi pala siya tas nasa kanila yung bago niyang circle of friends kasi fiesta sa kanila. Wala na talaga. Di ko nga alam may nagawa ba kong mali para bigla nalang maechapwera. Pero di ko na pinilit sarili ko sa kanila. I unfollowed them para di ko na makita mga posts nila. Yung iba minsan nagchachat sakin para lang magpatulong pero I restricted them na kaya ayun di na din talaga sila nagchachat and nalaman ko nalang din na kinasal na pala yung isa ang I'm not invited na.
I just get this off my chest. Pero I'm okay now. I still have 2 bestfriends na kasama ko talaga through ups and downs. I totally detached myself from them. I don't know if they say something bad about me dahil di ko na sila tinutulungan pero Not invited = Don‘t go. Not told = Don‘t ask. Late invites = Decline. You were never part of the plan.
Pinapangatawanan ko na yan. Ayoko isiksik sarili ko sa kanila nagmumukha akong desperada.

CMM.World & CMMTheology.org
The Great Harvest is here. Christ's Mandate for Missions and CMMTheology build strong, organic relationships globally as we worship, grow and equip together. Like Joshua and Caleb and the Apostle Paul, we see with faith what He sees in each person (to help each reach fullness), group (many streams and backgrounds in unity) and nations (sheep vs. goat nations). Our passion is to love, connect, equip and send with the simplicity, fullness, and power of the Gospel.
The Uncompromising Blissful Extravagance of His Presence! Inbox
By CMM.World CMMTheology.org - November 10, 2022
Dear Mighty One,
I see the Lord's eye upon us we discover by revelation the 'new thing' He is doing in our lives and of those of us who, beyond the present darkness, gaze into His eyes. The 'tuning fork' of Yahweh is orchestrating the sons and daughters of our living God in growing holy remnant unity to withstand as we stand with Him fearlessly in the boldness of the faith of God in this hour. Egypt is behind us, and the covenantal promises and prophetic words we have received (1 Tim. 1:18) empower us by His Holy Spirit to advance in warfare, humbly growing in the spirit of wisdom and revelation.

Yesterday as I encouraged some friends, I said, 'stay in the blissful extravagance of His presence.' Today I saw in Psalm 34 His eyes are upon us in vs. 8 & 9 and v:15 about the 'uncompromisingly righteous.' We are to be holy as He is holy. That leaves no room for any more compromise or seeking to please man or the traditions of men, being free of the fear of man, the religious spirit, and any demonic activity. We are seated in heavenly places with Christ Jesus. Lord, help us understand by revelation to walk in all the authority we have been given by Jesus Christ.
Psalm 34:8-9 'O taste and see that the Lord [our God] is good! Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man who trusts and takes refuge in Him. O fear the Lord, you His saints [revere and worship Him]! For there is no want to those who truly revere and worship Him with godly fear.'
v. 15 'The eyes of the Lord are toward the [uncompromisingly] righteous and His ears are open to their cry.'
Chuck Pierce shared this amazing word from Penny Jackson that is right on for this season: https://christsmandate.blogspot.com/2022/11/chuck-pierce-shares-powerful-word-from.html
May YOUR November be full of Thanksgiving and Praise for you and yours as YOU enjoy The Uncompromising Blissful Extravagance of His Presence!
Thank you for praying for CMM and all your fellow CMM Global Family worldwide. Pray for all the missionaries, schools, and students in CMM College of Theology in the US, Ecuador, Canada, Cuba, Myanmar, Nigeria, and Thailand.
Pray for the new wells and the living water and safe water recently drilled or soon to be drilled in Tanzania, India, Malawi, and Pakistan.
Pray for our upcoming Christmas gift campaigns to bless children and youth in many nations. Many of them are precious, beautiful children (orphans). As the Lord leads, pray about giving any amount to bless dear CMM children this Christmas. https://cmmworld.kindful.com/
Pray for each other, dear friends. We all know we each need prayers going up to Heaven for all those on the front lines. We each are on the front lines!
Please pray for me as I speak tomorrow online to a crusade with 8,000 expected to attend in Pakistan. In December, I will speak at conferences in Liberia and Kenya with fellow CMM Ordained ministers Robert Bimba (Liberia), Tom Omukhobero, and Daniel and Christine Oyoko (Kenya).
We are working on plans and trips for 2023. If you would like to have some of our awesome CMM family speakers for a conference in your area or would like to join or lead a missions trip, we would love to hook you up with dear friends in many nations.
Please join me in welcoming Dr. Louis Blom of Judea Harvest as Associate Director of Missions at CMM. This strategic alliance multiplies the efforts and impact in building the Kingdom of our God, for His glory. https://youtu.be/HXfP8tCySRc

Many blessings and shalom from us all here at the home office and around the world.
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I'm currently living in the Carolinas, and there is functionally no assistance. My dad wanted to retire in a relatively rural area and at the time I was gainfully employed. I got a job in a major city that was in retrosect hiring me to fire me so they could fill a quota and move on.
I've been back home since Thanksgiving of last year, applied for SSDI and am waiting on approval.. but I just can't accept a life without a job. I am writing on my own time and I do things to make money, but nothing that would equate to a full time income. Around where we live, every single job requires a drivers license. I have a BA in political science, years of experience in procurement/purchasing, and a background in media. I have applied to countless jobs locally and every single one of them has denied me once they find out I'm visually impaired and can't drive. A lot of the remote jobs I am seeing say they'll hire only from certain states - mine is never on that list.
I have been in contact with my employment counselor, and the only thing they can offer me is a remote call center job. I have asked about massage therapy since we live in a tourist town, they have been reluctant/dismissive. At the end of the day, i need some kind of work that will be able to pay for my $100 Uber trips back and forth.. and that just isn't possible where I live. Its just not. My dad is ambivalent, wants me to be able to "live a creative life".. I can't do that unless I can put food on the table.

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If this is a long read, please forgive me. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it except my mom.
Around 2019-2020, I was diagnosed with celiac disease. I was scared and took it very seriously. In Girl Scout cookie season with my nieces, I only ate the gf one. I stopped eating free cake and donuts and pizza at work. I had a terrible time on a vacation during covid because many restaurants and stores were closed and gas stations wouldn’t let me inside, so I ate meat and cheese sticks and lays potato chips to survive. Thanksgiving was hard. Gf processed food took a lot of getting used to. But I persevered, lost 40+ pounds, and felt pretty good.
Then around 2023, my doctor didn’t believe I had celiac. She was even kind of mean about it and told me to prove it or she would never chart it. I went back to my gastro doctor and asked for paperwork. The paperwork said inconclusive. I felt betrayed because they said I definitely had it. I spent so much money and gave up so much food and holidays…for nothing?
So for about a year and a half, I made up for lost time. Ate all the free food offered. Burger King came to town and I became a regular. All the southern food like fried chicken and flaky biscuits and mac and cheese I ate again. Gained my weight back. Had months of diarrhea and blamed it on Taco Bell. I felt worse and worse.
I finally decided enough was enough and I had a bunch of tests run to make sure. It cost over 5 grand because my insurance was so so. I was miserable eating gluten on purpose until my tests in September. After a colonoscopy and endoscopy and a bunch of other tests, it was found that I had Celiac, it was definite and much worse, and now I had Barrett’s Esophagus too. My doctor had taken me off prilosec a couple of years ago because she said I could get dementia. That upset the gastrointestinal team who said esophageal cancer would be so much worse.
So I stopped going to my home doctor, started protonix, and have tried my best the past 7 months, but it seems so much harder. I was too easily swayed by people telling me to just get one donut, by fast food being in my work parking lot and close to home, and by all the doctors I had to pay and dwindling gf shelves.
I tried to reward myself with virtual medals I earned miles on every time I ate gf. It helped, but didn’t stop me. I could eat gf breakfast and dinner at home, but I did terrible at work. So I quit Walmart and got me an office job where I have to bring a lunch. But my big family eats up my safe snacks so I end up buying gross tasting, gluteny, expensive food in the lunch room. I still don’t have insurance and I ran out of protonix and famotidine. I was ok until last week. I developed a horrible cough (at a call center, no less) and I started tasting blood and having horrible heartburn. I wasn’t able to eat for a couple of days. Finally my brain cleared up and I remembered that I had Barrett’s Esophagus also. I went back on famotidine and am taking tums until I can afford protonix without insurance. I feel a little better today. But I got depressed when I found out my former coworkers got a huge wage and I was drowning in debt and no insurance, so I went to McDonalds because I have absolutely no willpower and my depression is returning. I don’t know what to do. I want to do better! I want to be healthy and here for my family. I could really use some encouragement right now. Sorry this was so long.

Monday
Dimmy: WHAT are you about to do? Stevie Kate: Go on my bicycle in my sandals and nightgown, way over there. Dimmy: Oh my goodness, are you so excited? Speedy Kate: Yeah I’m going to go FAR AWAY. Dimmy: Oh my goodness are you going to stay nice and safe? Runaway Kate: Uh… I think. Don’t worry about it! I’ll be FAR AWAY from this dog and pony show. I’m going off the grid never to be seen again on Instagram! Dimmy: Whatever. Push with your feet! Stevie Cycle: Mommy, look I’m doing so good. Dimmy: You’re doing a great job! Stevie Kate: If only you would do a great job potty training me and dressing me in the proper clothes to play outside in! I just lost a toe in these sandals and my nightgown got caught in the spokes! Splat.
Dimmy: We haven’t had a date night since London was born so we decided to do a date night in Hello Fresh shill! Some people use Hello Fresh as an actual meal solution for their family. Can you imagine? That sounds like a lot of work. We just use it when we have a code to shill! We’re far too lazy to cook real food otherwise, even with a meal kit. I mean, just look at all the junk and trash we have piled by the door!
Tuesday
Dimmy: I think when I look back years from now, I’ll be like why the fuck are all my family memories on Astroturf? If we’re not traveling, Stevie Kate’s either in the Astroturf side yard or we’re all on the Astroturf at the local shopping center having a picnic. We live on Astroturf almost daily when it’s nice outside! It’s such a fun way to be outside without ever coming into contact with actual nature- yuck! When we’re not being fake online, we want to sit on something fake offline!
Headed into my six week postpartum appointment! Steven wanted me to go today so I can get the all-clear to have sex with him for our anniversary tomorrow. Damn where did the time go? How has it been six weeks already? That was way too brief of a break from the bed troll.
It has been way too long since I washed my hair. It is so gross. But that’s not stopping me from continuing to not wash it! I am going to use my time to shill you shower bombs instead. I may be dirty, but I will soon be filthy- filthy rich that is!
Thursday
Dimmy: Today is our nine-year wedding anniversary! To celebrate, none of us washed our hair or changed any diapers, then we headed out on a walk. The girls wore last night’s pajamas and I wore London incorrectly. So basically today was just like any other day! Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?
In 2014 I started dating Steven after meeting him in HLTH code founder / BYU professor Ben Bikman’s weightlifting class, turning him down a million times, and dating a bunch of other guys. Once we started dating, we traveled the world together, which to me is the equivalent of being wined and dined, so I said yes when he asked me to marry him. What was I thinking?
2015! Also known as the year I made the biggest mistake of my life. We got married and became permanent planet partners forever.
2016 was a happy year. Steven and the rest of the Houghtons hadn’t totally sucked all the life out of me yet.
By 2017 the tide was starting to turn, but here’s a photo from when I still looked happy and carefree.
2018 was so bad I deleted all the photos from my phone except this one of Steven with the stupid body pillow I gave him that used to pop up as IG content as often as Active Skin Repair ads do now.
2019 was a year of travel and leisure, so it looked pretty much like every other year.
2020! We moved to Arizona for Steven’s failed “business venture,” started locking the fridge and bounced a raw Thanksgiving turkey on a sheet like a parachute with Steven’s family and the Frankenstones during the height of COVID.
2021! This was the year Steven made me roller blade for diapers containing either shit or money on Mother’s Day a few short weeks after giving birth, and also the year he shoved McDonald’s down my throat until I cried. It really was a life-changing year, because the CONTENTOT arrived in 2021, earning us so much cash that…
…In 2022 we were able to begin an annual tradition of five-week summer vacations around the world. It was also the year of Stevie Kate’s big first birthday bash that Steven skipped to get a blepharoplasty, and I ended up crying in the closet.
2023 was a bust. I got pregnant with the Disappointment Baby, not the male heir Steven wanted. He said if I threw a huge gender reveal influencer bash for our second girl, he would skip it like he did SK’s first birthday party. So we sulked off to Deer Valley to see my family instead and made Tanner troubleshoot the faulty pink confetti cannons in the rain while Steven lounged about inside on his phone. Tiffany was a no-show because God blessed her with a $2 million housing miracle, but we didn’t want her there anyway.
2024! The year Steven took Stevie Kate to China and truly showed what an unfit father he is. She almost didn’t survive. This was also the year we didn’t tell Stevie Kate she turned three until April, and also we became a family of four! And all of you assholes are thinking, wow, does this girl not have a limit? How does she tolerate Steven and his terrible family and not walk out the door?
Friday
Dimmy: For our anniversary yesterday we stayed at a hotel while someone (Diana, but I won’t give her credit) watched the girls. I knew Steven had the hotel booked but all day I thought I wasn’t getting anything else, just a night with the fridge troll. 🤢 He didn’t tell me happy anniversary or give me flowers or anything. But I was wrong! When I got to the hotel there were roses in the middle of the bed, along with a fucking chocolate cake! There were also four chocolate covered strawberries and a random ass brownie scattered on the the white bedspread. And that’s not all! Cap’n Crunch, Fruity Pebbles and Lucky Charms were in the room too! And a box of Dirty Dough cookies. But you know what was missing? Plates, bowls and utensils! Thank goodness Steven had his rusty pocket knife. I was hoping he’d get tetanus or eat so much sugar he’d pass out without touching me!
Dummy must still be fighting his way out of a sugar fog because today he’s “too busy” to go car shopping with Dimmy, but apparently not too busy to watch Stevie Kate while Dimmy, Diana and London flitted about from luxury car dealer to dealer looking at giant vehicles. The trio traveled by orange parachute, which also doubled as a dress Dimmy wore. 🪂 No one could focus on the cars Dimmy showed or any of the features she was comparing because her billowy parachute dress was too distracting.
Dimmy: Before I sign off for the night, you know I’ve got to shill something dumb first because the only thing I like more than sleeping ten hours a night, is making money while I sleep! ARMRA COLOSTRUM. We have been using this for months and we do not get sick because we take Armra every single day! 🤥
Dummy: Watermelon is the best flavor. No, wait, I like the unflavored one the best. Because it doesn’t taste like anything. Which is what I actually take: NOTHING! But make sure YOU buy one of each!
Saturday
Dimmy: Introducing… Princess Aurora with her beautiful train dragging behind her! Cinder Kate: I’m dressed like Cinderella. And I told you two weeks ago to stop introducing me like the Denner girl with the unfortunate mouth. Dimmy: Speaking of which, guess who we are going to see today?? Cinder Kate: Cinderella??!! Dimmy: Guess again! Stevie Kate: Princess Aurora? Dimmy: Remi Denner! Stevie Kate: Nooooo! Dimmy: I’ll buy you a donut if you cooperate! Stevie Kate: In that case I’ll grab my princess heels… let’s go!
The Denner girl turned out to be the least of Cinder Kate’s worries as the Denner boy, that bratty overgrown baby named Rhett, escaped his double stroller and took her hand while she was walking ahead of the group pretending she didn’t know who any of these assholes were. Speedy Kate shook him loose and took off running, making a mental note to bring her scooter next time for an even faster getaway. She ran all the way home to watch Cinderella and get her mind off the whole awful ordeal but no one would let her watch her movie so she just binged Dimmy’s powdered sunscreen video over and over that was part of her PR package. Watching an ad for sunscreen sure beat hanging out with the Denners.
Dimmy: Good job, Stevie Kate! Watching shills is always encouraged! Time to link it up and douse you in powdered sunscreen! Stevie Cough: Vanishes into a dust storm of powdered sunscreen
Dimmy: Hey Iris, what recipes do you suggest for dinner? The fridge troll ate all of our Factor meals. Snaps photo of fridge contents.
Iris: Well you don’t have much to work with so I’d suggest you let Stevie Kate take that bag of leftover rotisserie chicken into the side yard and smother it in a mixture of the Bonne Maman jam, sour cream, and sugar fee Jello pudding. That can be her dinner and you can have milk and cereal for dinner, assuming you have Magic Spoon in the pantry.
Dimmy: That sounds disgusting!
Iris: Shit, IDK. 🤷‍♂️ You can always use your empty fridge as an excuse to shill a Hello Fresh order, then have pizza delivered for dinner? By the way, can I suggest a color palette for you? That orange dress you had on yesterday was tragic AF.
Dimmy: Fuck off.
LINK TO THIS WEEK’S PHOTO

Buckle in, guys - this is going to be a long one. Also, I come out of the closet...as a Swiftie. HMU if you want me to bring friendship bracelets to Brooklyn.
Any resemblance to real people is...not coincidental, actually.

Race Information

• Name: Boston Marathon
• Date: April 15, 2024
• Distance: 26.2 miles
• Location: Boston, MA
• Website: https://www.baa.org/
• Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/11188906240/overview
• Time: 3:04:31

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	Don't totally kill my legs	Sorta
B	Get the finish	Yes
C	2:55	No
D	3:00	No

Splits

Kilometer	Time	Pace (min/mi)
5	20:25	6:35
10	20:50 (41:15)	6:43
15	20:39 (1:01:54)	6:40
20	20:44 (1:22:38)	6:41
Half	4:31 (1:27:09)	6:38
25	16:20/20:51 (1:43:29)	6:45
30	21:43 (2:05:16)	7:01
Heartbreak Start (20M/32K)	10:03 (2:15:19)	7:24
Heartbreak End (21M/33.6K)	6:56 (2:22:15)	6:57 (lmao)
35	5:30/22:29 (2:27:45)	7:22
40	27:03 (2:54:48)	8:42*
Finish	9:43	7:08*

(Boston does intermediate splits late-race starting 35k (35K, 23M, 24M, 40K, 1 mile out), so so the last two splits are aggregates.)

Race Information

• Name: London Marathon
• Date: April 21, 2024
• Distance: 26.2 miles
• Location: London, UK
• Website: http://www.tcslondonmarathon.com
• Strava: https://www.strava.com/activities/11231697234/overview
• Time: 3:09:57

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	3:09:30	No
B	3:09:59	Yes

Splits

Kilometer	Time	Pace (min/mi)
5	22:25	7:12
10	22:36 (45:01)	7:16
15	22:31 (1:07:32)	7:15
20	22:23 (1:29:55)	7:13
Half	4:58 (1:34:53)	7:16
25	17:45/22:43 (1:52:38)	7:19
30	22:27 (2:14:59)	7:13
35	22:42 (2:37:41)	7:19
40	22:34 (3:00:15)	7:16
Finish	9:42	7:08

(London's app shows aggregate splits, so if you look at my official times it'll look like I was perfectly even throughout.)

Opening

Some people overthink their training programs. I overthink my race recaps.
Okay, OP. Why did you do this to yourself?
tl;dr: I'm basic.
Like a lot of people, one of my goals is to be a six-star seven-star finisher (thanks Sydney). Boston and New York were relatively easy to check off, and they've both kind of become my "regulars." I did Chicago last fall after a long delay - originally I was planning on doing it in 2020, but you know what happened. You might have heard about it!
For London, I applied to the lottery - or as they say across the pond, the ballot - last year and got rejected like everyone else does. I had a backup plan, though - I was going to apply to be a pacer. Two of my friends (David and Jazmin) had paced London last year and had a good experience, and they asked me to throw my hat in the ring this year.
...Okay, but OP, HOW did you do this to yourself? I want the deets.
Step 1: qualify for Boston again. (You can do it at Boston, but I don't recommend it because that is absolutely stressful. On the other hand, the one thing worse than trying to BQ at Boston without one in hand is trying to BQ in New York when it's 75 degrees.)
Step 2: apply to be a pacer and pray. London has open pacer applications, although I think they preference returning pacers. Also pacers that have actually paced marathons before. Neither of which applied to me at the time (I had signed up to pace Philly, but applications opened around NYC for this year). However, one thing I don't value is my bodily integrity so I just put down the fastest times I felt comfortable doing.
David, Jazmin, and I got the acceptance emails about a week later. David would be pacing 3:25, Jazmin would be pacing 3:40, and I...would be pacing 3:10, or the fastest group I put down. I remember being at work and listening to "Cornelia Street" by Taylor Swift when I read my email. The only way it could have been more on-the-nose is if it had been "London Boy."
(Also, justice for "Lover.")
Since I'd never internationally traveled before, I applied for a passport in November (just before Thanksgiving). Keep that in mind.

Training/Preparation

*starts laughing with a seamless transition into sobbing*
...ooh boy.
General training (or what SHOULD have happened)
My friend David coaches a group of us, adapting the training program that our club coach used. We're fairly heavy on the MP work, and surprisingly not so much on threshold. A typical week looks like this:

• Monday - easy 60m. Normally, this is about 7 miles.
• Tuesday - track workout; ~2 miles up, ~3 miles total on (at 5KP or faster), ~1-2 miles down
• Wednesday - easy 60m
• Thursday - tempo/MP work (because I know I'm gonna get yelled at). 1-2 miles up, up to 90 total minutes at ~MP down to ~HMP (for me, ~6:30 to ~6:00, roughly), couple of miles down.
• Friday - easy 60m
• Saturday/Sunday - easy one day, LR the other day. LR's normally easy (~8:00 pace or so), but sometimes includes MP chunks. We go up to 23 miles (or 3 hours).
• (Bonus) Doubles whenever I can fit them in during marathon blocks...and strangely enough, I'll usually double on Wednesdays regardless because our local Fleet Feet has a 3-mile group run Wednesday evenings. And yes, I know this is insane but apparently I'd rather be crazy than be alone.

Normally, most of my runs are with friends - so I'll run their easy paces (a bit slower than what I'd run on my own), and then we do our workouts at our own paces.
What ACTUALLY happened
Post-Chicago, I was pretty much unstructured, but ran a couple of more races:

• I paced a HM two weeks post-Chicago (0/10 do not recommend pacing a 1:30 HM on a course with 800 feet of elevation two weeks after your goal marathon, those first few miles hurt).
• I ran with a friend at NYC to help him get a BQ (which he ran 5 minutes under - he's 47, so we did just under 3:15).
• Philly went surprisingly well, considering I had done like two marathons in the previous month and a half.
  • On the plus side, we ended up splitting 1:34:30/1:35:20ish. So a bit hot at the start, but not overly so.
  • On the downside, I ended up taking two bathroom stops. Shout out to my co-pacer Mu for...you know...not having his bladder decide to be embarrassing. Shout out to Liz (the Philly coordinator) for having the good sense to give me adult supervision.

Meanwhile, a bunch of other things happened:

• My primary training partner from last fall tore his meniscus and still can't run.
• Jazmin decided to get a private coach, but still asked me to do some of her workouts with her.
• Another one of my friends made his comeback after being hurt last year - and he's following Daniels and his own schedule, and also asked me to run with him on occasion.
• Meanwhile, the rest of the group stuck to the same schedule I posted before.
• Also, I should mention I'm a terminal people pleaser and hate making decisions.

So by the time it was time to hop back into training, I was floating around pretty aimlessly and - because I didn't really have any performance goals this cycle - I tried to run with everyone as much as I could. I...do not recommend this. By February, I was looking at my messages and considering going into witness protection while figuring out which long run out of three I wanted to show up to.
Suffice to say, my training was disorganized as hell. I think I got a couple of 70-mile weeks in back in February, but kind of fell off in March when I was still dealing with some niggles of my own and also work things. Somehow, I managed to do a couple of races:

• I ran 1:19:5x at NYC Half (like half of this sub apparently).
• Also, I ran a sub-36 10k. A week before Boston. In retrospect, this might have been a mistake.

Meanwhile, my original passport seemingly never arrived. I ended up finally calling the passport center about a week before my London flight (I would have called earlier, but work was crazy and if I'm nothing else, I'm wildly irresponsible), and somehow managed to get an appointment before I left. In Boston (I live about 4 hours away). The day after I was supposed to come home from Boston.

Boston

Pre-Race
This was the less stressful event - on Saturday, I went up with my friend Joe who was spectating. Did the standard Boston race weekend stuff (shout out to Puma for their Sunday shakeout, the amazing panel, and for actually feeding us), met up with our other friends running Boston Sunday, and had dinner with our friends Jazmin and Janna (who were running) and Janna's husband Mark (who was not).
Also, I got my bib signed by Jenny Simpson on Saturday.
Monday, I just did my usual race prep - which is absolutely no prep whatsoever. (To wit, breakfast was "coffee and a banana loaf from Dunkin'.") I met up with Jazmin - who was planning to leave that night - and caught a shuttle to the Common with her. Funny enough, on the bus to Hopkinton we met up with our friend Cole who was getting his sixth star at Boston.
Race Day
I figured I'd go for an "easy 2:55" because Chicago gave me way too much confidence. I started from corral 3 and caught up with Cole (in corral 2) within the first mile. We mostly ran together for about 6 or 7 miles and then I lost track of him. I just assumed he'd dropped me because he's much faster than me. (The guy's currently a 2:30s marathoner. I say that because his lifetime PR is in the 2:20s.)
Gradually, it got warmer and warmer, but I was still feeling relatively good through the first half. I kissed one of the Wellesley students in the Scream Tunnel (to be fair, I was going to mind my own business, but she was standing on top of the fence holding a sign saying "Kiss me if you can reach," and I'm 6'5" and do not back down from challenges), but I mostly maintained pace into Newton.
And then I realized a few things:

1. While the temperature may have been approved by Rob Gronkowski, it was definitely not approved by me.
2. I ran a 2:47 last fall, so I had exactly zero reason to continue to try for a 2:55.
3. I also had to do this again in six days. And that was the deciding factor to just throw in the towel.

So, the last ten miles or so I mostly run-walked, which concerned my friends back home. (I contemplated posting to our WhatsApp group mid-race but that would have been weird.) It felt funny - it's only the second time I've "given up" on a marathon, and while I felt about as good as you can feel after doing 16 miles straight at MP, it was weird to just be so casual about things when I felt like I could still continue to race if I really wanted to.
Anyway, so, long story short:

• Around mile 18, I actually ended up running with a guy that I'd recognized from NYC 2022 - that day, he went down on the side of the course. At Boston, we ran together for about half a mile going back and forth...and then I just let him leave me.
• Somehow, still managed to set a Heartbreak PR. I think.
• I totally missed Joe, Mark, and the three blondes Joe and Mark recruited to cheer for me around mile 25. (I regret to inform all of them that three hot women are not quite as good at getting my attention as three hot men are. 💅🏿)

My finishing time was 3:04:31. Which was my slowest Boston to date, including 2021 where I keeled over on Boylston and ended up in the med tent. I still finished in like 3:00 high or something that day. (This is not a flex, and should not be considered a flex. That day sucked.)
Post-Race
I managed to get myself back to our hotel (also, ended up taking a selfie with an older gentleman on the Silver Line), and waited for Jazmin. And waited. Opening the tracker was pretty worrisome, as she'd slowed down a ton.
Finally, she finished, but she had a rough time. Thankfully, her coach found her at the finish and drove her over to our hotel. And one of her friends picked her up and drove her home. I'm not going to lie, I was pretty worried about her for London six days later.
(I'm intentionally being vague here, but...yeah, it was rough.)
I also found out that Cole finished about 15 minutes behind me (he said he'd been sick the week before, which I didn't know until after the race). Janna did pretty much the same thing that I did, in jogging in the back half. She still ended up on the Fast Women Instagram page (as she should).
Anyway, Janna, Mark, Joe, and I had a rather interesting dinner, and then it was back home on Tuesday. For most of us, anyway.

London

But first, Boston (again)
I did the math and - yeah - it was actually less expensive for me to go back home than to just stay an extra night. Welcome to marathon weekend. Paid through the nose for an expedited passport ($225), but...hey, I managed to get it. Shout out to FlixBus for the hook-up. Honestly, I recommend the 6:30 AM buses.
London (for real this time)
To Taylor Alison Swift: Why would you drop a double album on London Marathon weekend. Not only that, while I was taking a red-eye trans-Atlantic flight. Joe Alwyn wasn't even running it (and I'm not even sure Matty Healy could run 26.2 feet), so you don't even have that excuse. Janna suggested I buy the in-flight WiFi. I opted not to, and in retrospect that was the correct decision. (FWIW, TTPD is okay, but not worth $8 to United. That said, "So Long, London" into "But Daddy, I Love Him" is a hell of a choice.)
Anyway, for London, I flew in with Jazmin and my dad (who was also flying trans-Atlantic for the first time), and meeting David and another one of our friends (who is also named Joe) in London. If you are keeping count, we're up to three Joes in this recap already. Due to an opportune seat swap (shout out to the lady who wanted to sit with her husband, I don't care if you were telling the truth or if you just felt sorry for me), I managed to get a couple of hours of sleep on the flight.
We landed mid-day Friday at Heathrow, got into London, and my dad and I checked in to our hotel. (Right next to Waterloo Station, actually, which was nice!) Or we would have checked in, if everyone wasn't evacuating the hotel because of a fire alarm.
We did manage to get checked in after everything was sorted out, and then it was off to the expo (or the show, as London puts it). When we signed up, we had to volunteer for a 2-hour shift at the expo - and in our infinite wisdom, we chose the 3:30-5:30 shift. I spent most of that shift trying to explain why we ran out of 3:20, 3:25, 3:50, and 3:55 pace bands (god speed to the pacers for those groups).
Also, I picked up my gear for pacing - including the uniform (excuse me, kit), pacer flag, and the shoes. In my case, because I have clown feet (14 US/13.5 UK), they ended up being 1080s. And since London strongly encourages us to wear NB, I did not bring my usual shoes (Endorphin Elites).
"OP, it seems like you make a lot of poor planning decisions," you might be saying if you're still reading this. And...yes, yes, I agree. (Technically, I could wear whatever shoe, I'd just need to cover the logos. But I figured I'd be running 22 minutes slower than my PR so I'd be fine regardless.) I will say the 1080s are comfortable, though. Very loud - it's the London colorway, so imagine my size shoe in highlighter yellow, orange, and hot pink - but comfy.
Got back to the hotel, had dinner, argued with my dad about English electrical ports (despite what they look like, they are not USB ports), and tucked in for the night.
Saturday was mostly sightseeing - David, Jazmin, and I did a shakeout run around Westminster and caught the start of the Mini Marathon, and then my dad and I walked around a bit. Also did a night bus tour - shout out to Emma and Julie from Golden Tours - and had the standard pasta dinner. I went to bed around 9...only to get woken up at 10 by yet another fire alarm. After stumbling outside in 5-degree weather and back to our hotel, I somehow managed to get back to sleep.
Race Morning
Whoever labeled Waterloo East on literally every map by the platform instead of the entrance: your mum.
After having a surprisingly leisurely breakfast and a surprisingly hard time finding the entrance for the train station, I managed to hop the train out to the start of the race. Met up with David and Jazmin (apparently they were in the last car and I was in the middle of the train), and then we went out to the pacer meetup in the basement of the Clarendon Inn.
Imagine a small basement room with 140 people speaking multiple languages crammed in together, and that kind of approaches the chaos we were dealing with. You also have to add in a very assertive British guy with a whistle (shout out to Akram, the London coordinator). From past experience, David and Jazmin decided to leave for the corrals (or waves - I feel like London has its own language) around 9, and I went with them to our starts (blue for me and Jazmin, green for David).
I put on my flag (which I've never run with before - every other race has been with a hand-held sign) and immediately became one of the most popular people at the London Marathon. Most of my time was spent going, "uh I guess I'm running even 🤷🏿‍♂️," which I am sure boosted everyone's confidence in me.
The Race
London is similar to NYC where there are three separate starts that merge into one course. London's merges are a bit earlier than NYC's - Blue and Green merge in the first mile or so, and then Yellow/Red merge in around mile 3. (Not sure why they use two colors for that start!) The major difference is that there isn't one unified starting gun - in fact, the starts are pretty spread out, and it feels more like a rolling start. From big-race experience, I knew my GPS would be off, so I'd have to rely on my elapsed time and my pace band. I tried to yell out splits every mile and every 5k (so yes, I was the annoying American with the especially annoying New Jersey accent yelling out random numbers).
The first mile was relatively easy and uncongested - in fact, I was a bit concerned because I was a little fast (7:11 by my reckoning). And then we came up behind the Green 3:15 pace group. Famously, Comrades Marathon (at least - I'm not sure if this is a South Africa thing, or specific to that race) refers to their pace groups as "buses." I can see the comparison, as trying to maneuver safely around the pace group while knowing I had my own group felt like trying to parallel park a double-decker bus.
Somehow, we managed to pass them relatively safely...and then we came up behind the Yellow 3:15 group. I was pretty stressed, I'll admit. (The next largest race I've been a pacer for is Philadelphia, which is at most 1/4 the field size.) Somehow, I managed to keep people with me, although I admittedly didn't look too much.
That said, it says something when Cutty Sark feels like one of the more open places on the course.
We crossed Tower Bridge and got to halfway in 1:34:55 by my watch. Okay...but a little bit slow. My preference is to be 15 seconds under at halfway, and 30 seconds under at the finish. But hey, I was well within the window, right? The halfway window was 90 seconds under to 30 seconds over, which I was within.
Heading out to Canary Wharf, we actually got a good look at the pro men coming back - Munyao, Tola, and AdvancedRunning favorites Bekele and Cairess. I don't think I've ever been that close to the pros at a major before, so that was pretty cool. If Bekele is reading this, hi, I was the weird tall guy from London. (The one with the flag.) Please continue wrecking my age grading.
Meanwhile the chaos on the course shifted from fighting through slower groups in other starts to wading through the carnage of people blowing up. I don't know if it was especially bad, but - again - it kind of hits different when you know people are following you and also you're on English roads in a world major.
As I was going, I was keeping track of the splits. I knew it was going to be close...but when I saw 3:01:16 at 25 and checked my band (which said 3:01:10 for a 3:10 bang-on), I knew things were close. For reference, pacers' flags at London actually say "Sub [pace]" because they're expected to come in up to a minute under their time. My target was 3:09:00 to 3:09:59. We could make it, but it'd take a bit of a push.
Coming around Buckingham Palace, I was checking my watch and checking the time. I thought I'd make it. And then I crossed the line and stopped my watch.
3:10:00.
Fuck.
Post-Race
But hey, some people managed to hang with me. (Shout out to Nathan on the PR!) I gave (and got) congrats, took a couple of photos, picked up my stuff, and handed in my gear. Like hundreds of other people (my god like hundreds of us), I stopped by Waterstone's, went up to the cafe, and got a tea and scone. (Very good post-race fueling, I must admit.) Got back to the hotel, showered, and went out for pints and dinner post-race with the gang and my dad.
Also, I checked my official time. 3:09:57. I made it, but just barely. It was a bit slower than I'd like, but hey - not too shabby for doing this in 1080s.

Epilogue

So Long, London
Jazmin made it through a bit off target (like 19 seconds, I think), although it was a bit of a struggle, she said.
David...had a rougher go of it. He himself was injured going into the race, so he had to take his flag down around mile 22. He still managed to finish, though.
As for me: Got home that Tuesday. Told myself that I wouldn't do this again next year as we were going through Newark passport control (aka: Satan's butthole). Changed my mind after I got back on Eastern time, went back to work, and realized what I'd missed. Ran a trail 10k (Leatherman's Loop) the week after because (again) I do not value my bodily integrity. (Also, it was an impromptu midlife crisis.)
It took me a while to gather my thoughts - and even longer to edit this down somewhat. And yes, this is actually edited a bit from where it was.
Finally, one thing I've kept coming back to is the Boston Globe article about 26.TRUE that came out around the same time as the Boston Marathon. I highly suggest you read it - I couldn't decide whether to lead or to end with this, but at any rate it's worth it.
Made with a new race report generator created by u/herumph.

This is a long story, so please bear with me. I have two siblings from my mom (M, 37, and F, 31). I have others, but they are distant after my father’s death. We all have different fathers who were all pretty much deadbeats in their own right. I am the youngest of my mothers at 27. My sister and I were abused by our older brother physically while our mom left at home to chase guys. Also, my mother was verbally abusive. My sister got it worse, but she still would call me fat, sloppy, disgusting, and dumb. She has wished the r word on me. So am I the GC?
My entire life, I was the “good kid”. Not because my mom showered me but because I did more with what she gave me. I was the nerdy kid, while my brother was very popular, and my sister was bullied and then became popular because of her looks. I was overweight with low self-esteem. I have now lost 130 lbs, which my family then accused me of starving myself, so I can’t win.
All of us was not supported in school. I ran away several times due to feeling neglected at home and never having any help with school. My siblings failed school and obtained their GEDs later in life. I was homeless during my junior year, so I was forced to miss the second half of school. Therefore., I had to do summer school, online school, and regular school to graduate. I was under the guardianship of my mom's brother at the time, who was more stable. My sister stayed with our mom, and our brother was with his girlfriend. I didn’t live with my brother cause I was in HS in the state next to where my brother was. I didn’t want to change schools as the one I was at was better and the one my brother lived near was ghetto and would lead me to trouble. After a bunch of trials and tribulations, I graduated high school. It took several stints of homelessness with my mom; I can remember doing my homework in cars or these dirty motels. I was determined to have a better life. My sister moved with my brother since she dropped out of school but he continued his verbal abuse when she was there even with them being adults.
I always had good grades, and my mom would brag about me (sometimes exaggerating/lying my achievements making me feel like what I actually did wasn’t good enough). However, she never helped me achieve these accomplishments. My sister, who is older than me, seems to be infantilized. My mom counts on her when I don’t want anything to do with her but talks very poorly about her. My brother was always a knucklehead. He’s a deadbeat father, a woman beater, and an alcoholic, but he gets passes because he’s her only son.
After graduation, I got my place, and my sister and brother lived with me. I was a supervisor at a hotel and got my sister a job there. I was 18. I took a gap year to earn money for college.
I eventually set my sights on a great school. It was 10 hours from my home town. This is where stuff takes a turn. I was 18, making all the decisions for myself. I had no money, and coming from a poor background, my financial literacy was awful. I wanted to get away as far as possible. The school that was my top choice and the farthest away was the most expensive but very prestigious and complicated to get into. It has been my dream school since I was a kid. I could never imagine attending as I thought only rich people could attend. I wound up getting an acceptance, which shocked my entire family. This is when my mom's bragging reached an all-time high. I became the family star who will be this big-time lawyer.
However, to get to the school, I made the worst decision of my life. My mom had to take out a Parent Plus loan to help. I had full scholarships to other great schools, but they were too close to my family, and this school was my dream. Mind you, I wasn’t wise about debt and thought my mom was doing a good thing for me. But it turned out, this was an investment that would make her feel I owe her for the rest of my life. Throughout school, any refund check I would get a lot would go to her or other struggling family. Not once did I receive money from anyone while in college. Before school, I had a GoFundMe set up to help me get school supplies, which my mom then took for herself.
I spent all the money I made while working after school to get everything I needed, including dorm/school supplies and clothes. My mom drove me 10 hours to help me move in. Another thing she holds against me. I was getting hit by so many family members to send them money. This was before I even graduated college. At this point, my mom and sister are living with my mom's coworker because they were all evicted from the place I left since they couldn’t pay. My sister has been infantilized, so she was just codependent on my mom despite being in her mid-20s. My mom didn’t teach us how to drive, my current fiancé had to teach me. My sister still doesn’t have a license but I am teaching her now.
By the time I graduated, I became the person who carried my entire family on my back. Uncle, mom, brother, and sister all needed money. I met a person in college who is my fiancée currently. And we lived together for three years alone until I got pregnant. During my pregnancy, my mom cons me out of $2000 with some lie that she will go to jail if she doesn’t pay something. These big expenses always come out of nowhere and she always makes you feel like you have no choice or she will either be homeless, hungry, jailed, or worse. Despite my giving my mom money, she lied to everyone and said I told her to prostitute for it, which made no sense. I had to call my family to defend my name and prove that I’d been helping her. Money after money gets sent with no progress in her life. This manipulation, while I was pregnant, put a huge strain on our relationship as she didn’t care about stressing her pregnant daughter out. It caused me to have a miscarriage scare due to stress. I went NC for a few months, then contacted her first near Mother’s Day.
Fast forward to the end of my pregnancy, my sister and mom moved in to help me with my son after a break between my son's father and me. My older sister currently still lives with me two years later. My mom lasted a year before she had to go to my brothers because she couldn’t stop lying and getting combative when I tried helping her.
I always defend my sister whenever my mom is mean to her. I was never the kind of GC that tore down my sister. I always tried my best to help her. However, she is almost like an 18-year-old in a 31-year-old body after years of being infantilized and abused. She lives in a shell.
My mom has hit complete rock bottom. She has burnt every bridge and no one wants her at their home. She has nowhere to go and has been going back and forth between my older brother(whose home situation is volatile) and my home. My sister and my mom both lived rent and food-free while they helped with my son. However, I am still super present and intentional with my son, so I became overwhelmed with caring for many people.
Today, a year later, after several mental breakdowns, financial strains, and arguments with my partner over my mom's lying and manipulative ways, I reached my breaking point. I discovered that despite helping my mom, the thousands of dollars I sent her, and assisting a child she failed to raise get her life on track, my mom is telling everyone I owe her $200K in loans, which is exaggerated and a lie. I am responsible for only a third of that amount, which, still, I wouldn't say I like because this is the only thing she has over me. She has some from going to different schools and not finishing, which happened 3 times. Either way, no one would know we had any loan together if it wasn’t for her.
I yelled and cursed at my mom. She lied straight to my face and said that the only way they know is because my uncle looked at her paper work like wtf. He wasn’t even the one who told me. The only reason I allow my mom to visit is because of my son. She came in and was only supposed to be here a week, and it has turned into a month. She drove with someone and wasn't honest about the state of her car and that her travel companion had already returned to our hometown. My mom lies and says the girl left her out of nowhere, which my brother confirms is a lie; my mom knew the girl was not riding back with her. and he told her not to drive her car before she left his house to go to mine due to the condition. She had no way to get back to my brothers, so my fiancé and I had to pay for her a way to get home and to get her car shipped to her. She leaves tonight at 11 PM on a train.
Oh, did I forget to say she has dementia? She keeps lying about her official diagnosis. She said she no longer has it LOL. She has it. The past year, everyone noticed. But it’s hard to help someone who lies about everything. Or feel sympathy for a manipulator who throws the good things she has done in your face and forget the good things you did for her. She was like before the dementia. She has lied about having cancer and HIV. This time, it is real. My uncle and aunt, who works with patients, noticed it before me.
He told me that it was going to get worse. He also said that it has always been my mom plan for me to take care of her when she gets older. I was her retirement plan. Now she has no money, no job, piles of debt, no car, no stable home and dementia. Everyone is looking at me to take care of her. All the pressure is on me now. And everyone thinks I owe it to her because she has told everyone about the loan and how she helped me move into my dorm. However, she has never provided me with stable housing, unconditional love, taken me to appts, or helped with school.
Is this what being a GC look like? What should I even do with my mom? Should I try to pay the loan in her name and go NC? There’s no way I can pay that loan and still send her money for daily living. She is sucking me dry. My fiancé and I make good money but not rich. She is here, but we aren’t talking. My fiance feels uncomfortable by her presence. He grew up way more peaceful and stable than I did. His parents are wealthy, have been together for 30 + years, and are loving and supportive. He tried being loving and friendly to her, only to be bashed and lied to. Her issues throw him off completely. Everything she says is lies or negative. I have told her to go to a community center or church or somewhere that can help her find resources. I’m exhausted from trying to provide them all while being lied to constantly.
This is super long and all over the place. I don’t know what to do. I am the only person who has a good income in my family. I am tired, and so is my fiancé. I still feel that pit in my stomach that she is my responsibility, and I owe her, as she always echoed. I don’t know whether to give her a Mother's Day gift. This may be a vent. I am new to this sub and read all the other stories that encouraged me to share—wishing peace and healing to everyone.
TL;DR Potential Narcissistic mother is at rock bottom with dementia. I am potentially the GC who she has plotted on to be her caretaker from the beginning. I just turned 27 and am responsible for my immediate family, although I am the youngest. I am already exhausted as I am just starting my family and have a one-year-old son to focus on. My mom lies and years of neglecting her own life are now coming down on me, but I am mentally spiraling from all this responsibility and taking care of older siblings who are also trying to get life together. Oldest brother is toxic and unstable as well. Nmom has burnt all other bridges with family so no one wants her to stay with them.

Ive never read through them completely before now. Thought this one was hilarious
November 29, 12:21 PM Creed Thoughts They say the Friday after Thanksgiving is the biggest shopping day of the year. Not for the old Creedster. For me, Black Friday’s when I work out all my problems. I don’t need to waste my cash on fancy “therapists” or “court-appointed analysts.” Instead, I just suit up and get ready for battle. That’s how I celebrate the fourth Friday of every November.
This year, I didn’t even go to sleep after Thanksgiving. I was so jazzed up from the massive portion of cranberry sauce that I couldn’t stop pacing. At around 2:30am, I decided it was time to start getting ready. I wrapped my body in newspapers and Black Friday ads until I had a good enough base to know I’d be okay if anybody had a shiv. Then I started gathering my weapons. Instead of brass knuckles (which I always lose), I found these really sharp plastic spider rings that were leftover from Halloween. For poking and tripping, I grabbed a cane from one of the geezers at the soup kitchen. [SIDE NOTE: People underestimate the value of old man weapons. I’m allowed to walk around with a cane anywhere I damn well please and that cane comes in handy, let me tell you. It’s just one of those social conventions that works in favor of the elderly – same goes for early bird senior specials at restaurants.]
So after I got myself ready, I headed over to the mall. That place usually gets rocking at around five in the morning, so I made sure to be there by four to snag a good place in line. I find the toy stores to be the center of the mayhem most years, so I headed there first. All these parents were just foaming at the mouth to get their hands on the latest Cabbage Patch Elmo Pokey-Man Nintendos and I couldn’t wait to get in their way. As soon as the doors opened, I started a stampede. I’ve got old standbys that I yell out to really heat things up. “They’ve only got three left!” “Huge sale in Aisle Five!” “That jerk is taking all of them!” Nobody has any idea what I’m referring to, but they get all worked up nonetheless. Almost right away, people started shoving and pushing and where was I? Right in the middle of all the action.
I started out by poking people with my cane and scratching them with my rings and pretty soon, I didn’t care so much about sales tax or cold weather or paternity suits – all the things that stick in my craw, really. Nobody got seriously injured and all my bottled up feelings just disappeared, so it was a win-win for everyone, in my opinion.
Once I finished at the toy store, I moved on to the electronics stores where I started over from scratch and instigated a whole new riot. It felt great. I’ll tell you what – this is shaping up to be one of the best holiday/therapy seasons of all time.

I hope this isn't a dumb question - I am the parent of a fourth grade girl who was diagnosed with dyslexia recently and this is all pretty new to me. I hope I'm missing something, actually, because I'm confused and pissed and sad.
This ended up being longer than my single question - I guess I am actually really pissed off and sad about the last nine months in general, and I am completely open to any feedback, advice, or ideas about what to do now and how to help my kid. This is the first time I wrote all of this down and the irony of writing a novel on a dyslexia subreddit is not lost on me.
I'm leaving it lol.
Cora has always been brilliant and weird and loud, but over the last few years, it became apparent that she was having a harder time....stopping. Stopping talking, stopping moving, stopping yelling - it was just endless and exhausting for everyone around her. (Except at school. She is and was perfectly behaved at school - she has literally never gotten so much as a note home about goofing off in class.) Cora hit a wall in third grade - the hyperactivity was finally wearing her out, too, and annoying her friends. She finally asked for some help slowing down.
She was tested for ADHD and the general host of common mental health conditions last fall, and to no one's surprise, was diagnosed with ADHD-combined type, as well as anxiety symptoms that the psychologist described as significant enough to warrant a GAD diagnosis…but that she strongly suspected were a perfectly rational reaction to the very real problems Cora’s impulsiveness caused in her life.
This was exactly my experience as someone diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. It turns out that the consequences of constantly losing my car keys, forgetting appointments, and impulsively spending money I didn’t have were making me anxious and stressed, not the other way around. I had expected similar results for Cora and I was glad this was happening now - she could skip the years of totally ineffective treatment and misdiagnoses that I went through before being diagnosed and successfully treated.
What we were not expecting at all was the additional diagnosis of "specific learning disorder with reading impairment" noted in the report. I had no idea what this meant. The psychologist did not use the word "dyslexia" in her written evaluation, a decision which resulted in another 8 months of confusion and (probably unnecessary) testing detailed below. She explained to us that Cora could have dyslexia, but that her testing wasn't granular enough to be sure - that there was a chance it was "something else" and the SLD diagnosis was an umbrella term that covered both dyslexia and conditions unknown. (I have no idea what she was referring to and the general weirdness about using the word dyslexia was something I noticed with the school, too. I am still confused by this and other interactions where I get the distinct feeling people aren’t telling me something important.)
It was almost September, so the psychologist recommended pursuing testing with the school; this seemed to be a reasonable next step. They would test Cora and determine exactly what was going on, if anything. This whole part of the report was very much characterized as an incidental finding - something to follow up on, but nothing alarming given Cora’s history of good grades.
"Maybe she was just tired after a long day of testing,” the doctor explained. “But it also seemed like she wasn't hearing certain letters correctly." Years of speech therapy had helped Cora correct all but a few minor issues - but combined with this potential reading issue, maybe an audiologist should test her again. Get her hearing tested, start medication for ADHD, and see what the school says about her reading - that was the plan, no big deal.
I wasn't worried, but I figured it couldn't hurt to see what other help was available. I learned that we have a branch of a big tutoring nonprofit in our city that offers Orton-Gillingham instruction at no charge - something I soon realized would cost hundreds of dollars per month at other centers. Free is good! I submitted Cora's application and the report from the psychologist (with the ADHD/GAD/SLD all clearly noted)….and we got a rejection letter a week later in the mail. Cora didn't qualify because the tutoring was specific to dyslexia, and the SLD with reading impairment was not the same as a formal dyslexia diagnosis. Fair enough, I thought - I figured we'd get the testing done through her school and could reapply if the result was a dyslexia diagnosis.
That....was naïve, lol. But the psychologist made it sound like a total non-issue, something schools did all the time. I sent the school psychologist and teachers the report before school even started, since surely they would want to schedule all of this right away! I didn’t hear anything for a few weeks – the start of the school year must be such a busy time, after all – but raised it again, report in hand, at a meeting with Cora’s teacher in late September.
“You….really want to try to avoid putting a label on things too quickly,” she told me, in a tone that implied there was much more that she was not saying. “She seems to be doing quite well in class. Let’s see how she does on the standardized tests we’re finishing this week and go from there.” I was definitely aware that I was missing something, but it seemed reasonable to wait for Cora’s test results if they would help inform next steps. Cora scored well above average, as usual; shortly after receiving these scores, the school psychologist emailed me to let me know that no further testing was warranted.
I still felt like I was missing something – spoiler alert, I was – but there didn’t seem to be anything else left to do. They're the experts and were totally unconcerned – only positive news - and Cora’s new ADHD meds seemed to be really helping. After that, everything did seem to be okay at school for a while. Cora liked her teachers and was doing well.
Everything was copacetic…except for the fact that Cora’s anxiety seemed to be getting worse without any tangible explanation. She complained about fourth grade being a lot harder, but again – her grades were fine, she was perfectly behaved, she liked her teachers….it was difficult to identify any problem that needed solving. Soon, Cora started getting home and isolating herself in her room for over an hour every day. She seemed stressed. Worn out. This went on for months.
And then she had her first panic attack on a Sunday night, seemingly out of nowhere. She wanted a mental health day Monday and was back in school Tuesday, seemingly her normal self.
The next Sunday, she had another panic attack, and this one was much, much worse. She lost control of her bladder. I was close to taking her to the ER. It was scary. That's when it all came out. She was DREADING school - her two hours of ELA in the mornings had become “torture.” She was white-knuckling it through the reading, writing, and spelling work, totally clueless as to why it seemed so much harder for her than for other kids, but so determined to get good grades that she had just burned. the. fuck. OUT.
She was home for days after this. The school tried to dismiss my concerns at first - it couldn't have been that bad, I was told. To be fair, my concerns were vague because I still didn’t understand the real issues or how to help Cora, either. Cora was clearly unwell and adamantly refused to return to school. I started putting everything in formal, written letters emailed to all of her teachers, the school psychologist, and everyone else who seemed potentially relevant. I told them I wasn't sending her back until they did something to try to figure out what was going on in ELA.
That was mid-February. We had a meeting before I would agree to send Cora back, where they talked about putting together the "interdisciplinary team" to conduct "extensive classroom observation.” They insisted that this process would take at least 60 days to complete. Cora reports that there have been three days where someone has essentially come to her ELA class and stared at her while she works.
We weren’t just waiting for the school, though. After the psych eval last summer, we had been slowly working through additional evaluations and appointments related to Cora’s hearing, speech, and language abilities. Basically, we were working our way from Cora's ears into different regions of her brain, trying to catch problems along the path that sound waves traveled - entering Cora's head as vibrations in her ear canals, winding into her brain as phenomes, assembling into a stream of recognizable words, converting into meaning in entirely different areas of her brain, and eventually emerging again via her speech. I had no idea so many tiny things could go wrong in that process, but they can - and we can get pretty damn granular in order to figure that shit out when there’s a potential problem. Cora had some weird results here and there - we now know that overlapping speech is basically her Kryptonite, which explains a lot of meltdowns at family gatherings over the years. But on the whole, her ears and her brain are doing fine, and she doesn't have autism, either.
We had been lucky to get hooked up with the best child development team in the area - they were wonderful, and the process of more testing and visits seemed to reassure Cora (and us, honestly) that there was more help on the horizon, more answers soon. She started low-dose Zoloft for the anxiety and seemed a little happier; her anxiety about school was starting to morph into resignation and frustration, which actually seemed healthier in a way. "It takes time," they tell us. Her breakdown was in February. They wanted to see the report from the most recent evaluations. Fair enough; although it is not lost on me that I am paying an outside team to do the school's job, at least it's getting done.
Two weeks ago, we finally got the team's report - and the written words, "developmental dyslexia." The lead psychologist is going to meet with the 504 team at her school - he is wonderful and immediately understood so many of Cora's concerns and needs. I'm not exactly optimistic, but it's at least possible that this may result in accommodations/extra help in school. Cora thinks he walks on water and is so excited that he's going to "stand up for" her.
The report is detailed and confirmed a lot of what we suspected. She's a really bright kid - IQ around 120 with sky high mathematics and nonverbal problem-solving scores. She apparently discussed "conundrums that are complex and abstract in nature" during her sessions, with a "recognition that there is not necessarily a solution" to these mysterious issues. (LMAO....this is my weird and wonderful kid.) The report describes Cora as "delightful" - funny, self aware, and highly motivated to learn.
Her reading comprehension score was in the 90th percentile, essay composition in the 70th - spelling scores came in at the 25th percentile, which was no surprise. Pseudoword decoding was poor - she's in the 14th percentile - and it got worse from there. Cora has an oral reading fluency in the 9th percentile, a basic reading score in the 7th percentile, and a word reading score in the 4th percentile.
In fact, the essay composition score was the only "average" score among dozens of measures of her reading, writing, and language abilities - comprehension was universally excellent and decoding was universally abysmal. It was hard to read. It felt like a gut punch - looking at the single-digit scores, I finally realized the insane degree of effort it must have taken to finish her work and look happy doing it.
The developmental psychologist leading the team told us that it was unusual to see that stark of a difference - that the severity of her impairments are usually associated with average comprehension scores at best. I have tried to wade through research about these instruments, but decided to take his word for it. Typically, the deficits in her basic reading skills would set off a chain reaction of lower scores down the line - but Cora had brought her grades and tests scores up from an already high start at the beginning of the year.
"It's no wonder her anxiety symptoms are increasing - she's completely exhausted," he said. "Imagine what she could achieve with the right kind of help."
I realized then why Cora's high scores and good grades, so impressive to everyone else, were such a source of consternation for her. That chain reaction was still happening, getting in the way of what she was actually capable of achieving. She knew it, even if the rest of us didn't - she could do better with the right kind of help.
I honestly feel sick thinking about it. She never told anyone she was struggling, never asked for help - not from us, not from anyone at school, heck not from her former-literacy-teacher grandma. No one had any idea. My husband and I had actually encouraged her to slow down a little in the weeks before her panic attacks, just out of a general sense that something was brewing despite her repeated insistence she was doing fine. Turn in the worksheet a day late, three sentences is plenty, relax. Unthinkable, Cora insisted, she was fine.
So she's back at school, nothing has changed other than the glacially slow 504 process of "observation" occurring in the background sometimes, but she seems to be a bit less stressed. I can't tell if getting pissed off about the situation is helping her deal with it, if the Zoloft is taking the edge off, or if she's just masking harder now. Maybe all three. 18 more days of school and Cora is counting. them. down. Her teachers and support staff seem generally bewildered by the idea she is or was ever struggling. They were caught totally off guard when I abruptly pulled her out of school until we at least got them to commit to the 504 process – but we had been blindsided too. They saw a happy kid who was thriving academically until her parents pulled her out of school and started a process that no one seems particularly committed to finishing. Sometimes I think they don't believe us at all. Maybe I would feel the same way in their shoes, I don’t know. I think they’ll listen to the doctor.
The entire point of this post, though, was to ask about Cora’s second rejection from the local tutoring program. With summer approaching and the diagnosis of dyslexia (versus maybe-dyslexia, maybe-whatever-else-could-be-included-under-the-SLD-“umbrella”, which I am still unsure is even a thing), I've been looking into all sorts of options for tutoring. Summer is a good opportunity to try to start getting Cora some meaningful help without adding yet another thing to her plate. She's excited. We can build some tools before next year - if we know what works for her, we can be better advocates from Day 1.
So I resubmitted Cora's application - I still had my original email and I just attached the shiny new report to that, explaining where to find the magic D word that I fully expected would finally open a door where Cora could get the right kind of help. This new report was more granular with reading testing, but the dyslexia diagnosis was the one really substantive change. It included Cora's ADHD and anxiety diagnoses, as did the report I submitted with our initial application, but with new information about medication and treatment for these issues - progress!
(I would like to point out at this point that ADHD and anxiety are firmly established as two of the most common comorbid diagnoses for kids with dyslexia, and that anxiety symptoms in particular can occur because of the challenges caused by dyslexia. My daughter had full-blown panic attacks at 10 years old largely because she struggles to FUCKING READ and no one was helping her. I know I am preaching to what little choir is likely left at this point in my novel. But especially as someone who was medicated/treated for depression and anxiety for 20 years before anyone agreed to test for, diagnose, and treat the ADHD symptoms that were causing me to regularly fuck up my life in really depressing and stressful ways…..this chicken and egg shit really hits a nerve.)
Anyhoo, it had taken 8 months and a lot of work, but I had finally done this one cool thing for her - Cora was going to get the right kind of help. The school year is almost over, but at least we had this one success. The obstacle that I’m still not sure was warranted in the first place – the lack of the word dyslexia in the initial evaluation – had been checked off what was now a giant list of obstacles in Cora's path.
And thanks to the generosity of people who had probably heard and experienced a lot of similar, frustrating stories, our family could focus on paying off the bills accumulated in the process of getting to this point instead of adding more to the pile. Free is always good, but sometimes free is a godsend.
Twelve hours later, Cora was denied again, this time via a brief email simply noting the GAD diagnosis in both reports. "Our tutors are not trained to work with children who are diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorders" and they "cannot meet her needs."
That was it. No further explanation. Just…fuck your anxious baby girl who is trying so hard and fuck you for trying. NEXT!
Oh, and P.S., fuck the really significant percentage of kids with dyslexia with comorbid anxiety diagnoses who are incredibly well researched and described in just…all of the fucking literature. Just all of it, honestly, for decades. Fuck those kids too.
People seem to treat the word "dyslexia" like it's the only thing that matters sometimes but also not something that should be ever said in other contexts, AND I'm pretty fucking sure that "SLD with reading impairment" is essentially equivalent to the word dyslexia because no one can explain what else might be under that "umbrella," and apparently it's nigh impossible to get meaningful help for my daughter through the public school systems anywhere in America, and giant nonprofits care about kids with dyslexia so much, but not the anxious ones, better lock the doors before those crybabies get their needs all over our tutoring center!
We will figure out how to pay for help for Cora, that’s a given.
But honest to fucking god, have you guys just been putting up with this shit the whole time? I'm so sorry.

Hello, my name is Jami, I'm 25 about to be 26 in a month, I'm a first time mom and had my daughter at the beginning of this year of 2024, it's my first time using reddit, so please bear with me. Ok, now let's get on with the story.
After I got engaged with my husband(Aaron), we didn't announce it yet just til he introduced me to his mom (Lutina) when she's visiting him and the rest of the family we spent Thanksgiving with. She was released from prison in June of 2021. When i ask how was she, she was a bit silent with me more than to Aaron cuz she's talking to him more, but we added eachother on Facebook, we went to the movies together and we took his niece and nephew with us, we had a good time, later on the way home, his mom asked "How did ya'll meet". I answered and I told her how awkward it was when we met cuz of course we met on Facebook and talked for a longest time and had been in a long distance relationship, we had a good laugh, we gotten to know eachother and it made Aaron happy.
The night before my flight, now that Aaron and I are engaged, we started making plans for moving in together by the end of next year, planned to continue my job and put money aside so I could save money for when we find the apartment, on the flight home, it's so hard that I never want to leave knowing that I'll be back, but we always video chat every day.
4 months later, I texted his mom to say hello and she texted back asking how am I doing and told her I was doing good, we texted a good while, I asked for her mailing address so I could go on Amazon and send her a birthday gift since her birthday was around the corner, the next couple of days she received her gift I got her, I got her that necklace with a little message that was meant for a partner's mom, she was so much in tears that she loves it and started calling me daughter in law, it made me feel honored because she was so kind to me.
5 days later Lutina asked Aaron how would me and him like to get an apartment and move in with her and he replied "I would love that" Aaron texted me when I was on my break at work and he asked if I would like it if me, him and his mom would move in together, I agreed, I do anything to be on his site so we won't ever have to be in a long distance relationship.
Time goes by fast and got a new job in NC and Lutina helped Aaron find a job cuz he hasn't been working much cuz as you know, he stays with his sister and wants to try to give her and her kids space knowing he can't stay forever, I flew over the next week and was so happy to see him and his family, well now that we're working, we're on the quest of finding apartments so we could get out of his sister's apartment, I give his sister portion of money to help her pay rent and bills since we were staying with her temporarily.
We on the house search, we made sure to keep Lutina updated, 4 months later I failed to find a place, that's when I found out that I was pregnant, I went to the pregnancy center to confirm, Aaron went with me, Aaron and I ended up keeping it to ourselves because I wasn't supposed to stress during the beginning of first trimester, Lutina called and told me she dreamed of fish and asked if I was pregnant, I froze for a quick second, I wanted to admit it and at the same time I didn't want to say anything, so I ended up lying that I wasn't and she told Aaron he better keep his stick in his pants, I feel bad lying because I don't like lies, pregnancy is not something to lie about.
Next morning I went to work, went to my supervisor to let her know that I'm pregnant and I needed to follow my doctor's order, my closes co-worker new but didn't say anything, I was thinking one of a co worker I was never close to found out about it and it led on to all the co workers that everyone ended up finding out that led to his sister, she slperged it to his mom, my mom and everyone in his family, I didn't want to say anything but I ended up spilling the beans, we attempted to move back to my home state, but Lutina started to break down and cry cuz she didn't want us to go, and always wanted grandkids from Aaron and me, so she suggested we move to the same area with her, and big mistake, we agreed and my mom agreed, I was mad at his sister for awhile but I'm glad she did what she did, because our family and friends had to know some how, because like I said before pregnancy is not something to keep a secret or lie about, I felt bad about it, but it all went well.
2 months later, we are on the the move, we got our new jobs, the move is a bit big but we can't raise a baby in his sister's house, his grandmother is too old to deal with it, so the move went well, stayed with Lutina's friend for awhile just til we find the apartment, I applied for wic, food stamps and other programs to help me as a first time mom.
The following week we started our new jobs, it went well, we always eat with his mom at breakfast and lunch, it's all good just til after we find out the gender of the baby and made a gender reveal video live on Facebook, I got so excited, yes, it's a girl, I was so happy, I already got her name pick, I named her after my best friend who passed away 2 years ago.
The next day I got myself breakfast because of course I got to eat for baby girl to keep her going, I was at my table and Aaron and his mom came to the same table with me, Lutina started to guilt trip me over not getting Aaron breakfast that she had to get it for him, I politely try to give a true excuse that I didn't see him that I thought he's still working that our break times are different and she brushed me off saying "of course you did, he was at that door" and than I lost my temper and said well I gotta get back to work, the baby and I lost our appetite, threw my plate away and left and went to the cleaning closet to get back to work and she started yelling, as I was attempting to start collecting trash, Aaron went to me asking what was wrong with me and I said "you know what's wrong with me, your mom is guilt tripping me over not getting you anything when I didn't even see you or maybe I didn't know you were on break " Aaron said "You need to eat for babygirl's sake and not be mad over that" and I said "yes, I should eat without having to be guilt tripped". He agreed.
Part 2 will be posted tomorrow, it's a very long story, as I said it's my first time using reddit, so please be patient with me
Please give me your opinion