Dear Broadchurch fans, I have posted a series of rewatches of season 1 (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broadchurch\_series\_1) of Broadchurch. Now I find it is time to review some of the prevalent themes within the series. Please be aware that I will discuss season 1 as a whole, so there may be spoilers ahead.
If you enjoy reading this essay, feel free to stop by my AnalysisVault to see if you find some more of my work to your liking. Please note that this subreddit is read only and comments should be made with the original posts rather than the cross-posted ones.

Egotism vs Altruism
One of the more prevalent themes in Broadchurch is the question of egotism vs altruism. I will give you a short overview of both concepts as well as the spectrum they represent, then speak about their implementation in the series and finally make a statement about why the makers chose to make it a central theme.

Wikipedia states:

Egotism is defined as the drive to maintain and enhance favorable views of oneself and generally features an inflated opinion of one's personal features and importance distinguished by a person's amplified vision of one's self and self-importance. It often includes intellectual, physical, social, and other overestimations. The egotist has an overwhelming sense of the centrality of the "me" regarding their personal qualities.

In essence, egotism is the personal philosophy of “me first”. A person with strong egotistical tendencies will make sure their own needs are met before those of others. Think, if you will, of the people who will take the best slice of cake for themselves or drive a gas guzzler out of convenience or cut the line at the airport to get the best seat. All of these are egotistical actions. On the other hand, some egotism is warranted for self-preservation. The parent who gives their all for their children but runs themself ragged in the process may need to exercise more egotism. The health care professional who routinely skips their break to care for never-ending patients may want to be more self-preserving by being more selfish. Things like that. In general, society views egotistic action and unfavorable while oftentime people with egotistical traits tend to be more successful in certain areas of life.

Altruism is the principle and practice of concern for the well-being and/or happiness of other humans or animals above oneself. While objects of altruistic concern vary, it is an important moral value in many cultures and religions. It may be considered a synonym of selflessness, the opposite of selfishness.

In essence, altruism is the personal philosophy of “others first”. A person with strong altruistic tendencies will make sure the needs of others are met before their own. Think, if you will, of the people who will hand out food to others happily but forget to get any of their own, take great strides to pick up trash in a local park or offer up their seat for a disabled person on the bus. All of these are altruistic actions. In general, society views altruism as beneficial and a trait to strive for while oftentimes people with altruistic traits tend to be less successful and may feel taken advantage of.

Basically, egotism vs altruism is the Captain Kirk vs Mr Spock discussion. Spock says: “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few”, goes into a highly irradiated engine room to save the Enterprise and dies in the process. Kirk says “The needs of the few outweigh the needs of the many” and risks war with the Klingons because he can’t live without his buddy.
However, every action has aspects of both in them. Each action every person takes has both egotistic and altruistic nuances to them. The interesting part is where the balance falls. I will let you decide for yourself which way the pendulum swings on the following examples.
Some examples:
The healthcare worker who overworks themselves acts in an altruistic way because they support patients and help them get better. But they are also egotistical in their own way because being “the supportive one” strokes their ego.
The person who drives the gas guzzler acts in an egotistic way because they pollute the environment unnecessarily, take up a lot of space with their vehicle and probably stink up the place with their fumes. But they might also have an altruistic aspect because they need to move large groups of people, feel they are supporting an industry that gives jobs to workers or even further the economy by spending money.
The person handing out food but not taking any for themselves can be very altruistic but depending on the person they can be very egotistic instead, for example when they decide to hog the table, demand ever-lasting gratitude for their “sacrifice” and/or post their actions on social media for clout.
Finally, a person who writes lengthy analyses and posts them on Reddit may appear altruistic because they attempt to enrich the lives of others with their observations and (hopefully) witty posts. They may also be egotistic in an attempt to garner attention and positive reinforcement through the community they choose to post in.

Implementation in the series:
One of the great things about the series is the fact that they are aware of the different sides of egotism and altruism and allow the viewer to form their own opinion. Hardly ever is anything said bluntly, most of the time we are left to figure out things of our own. We see the way the characters act, we see the way they interact and are interacted with and we are left to make our own decision. Hardly ever are things black and white, hardly ever are we given the one true answer ™.
This is one of the main reasons the series is as emotionally impactful as it is. Because life is messy. Life isn’t neat. Life isn’t simple. Stories with simple and clear answers are not realistic because life doesn’t work that way. Think about it. In the last decade or so there were a lot of shows and movies looking deeper into the question of fairy tale villains and whether they were villains at all. Star Wars does this masterfully by looking at Anakin Skywalker’s arch. He seems like a clear-cut villain in episode 4, the first to hit the screens, but as more of his story is revealed, he becomes much less cartoonishly evil.
In fact, the idea of egotism vs altruism is the driving factor in the various aspects of the investigation the detectives conduct. Look at the different suspects, if you will. All of them have (at the very least) some very egotistical behaviors. Steve Conelly, con man and maybe psychic is getting a feeling of importance when passing on his “messages” to the great expense of Beth Latimer, among others. Mark Latimer is so very much wrapped up in his selfishness he neglects just about everyone around him unless caring for them fulfills his needs. Nigel Carter engulfs himself with righteous anger against Jack Marshal, not for the community but seeking Mark’s approval. Paul Coates revels in the attention he and his church gain from the case. Susan Wright is so eager to protect herself, she harms others pre-emptively. Jack Marshal, the man who slept with a child, then married her. No 40-year-old man would do that for selfless reasons.
All of the suspects we are presented in the show are – in one way or the other – selfish. And that’s perfect. Murdering a child is an inherently selfish action. The true joy of the show comes with finding out that the murderer is a man who we are made to perceive as deeply selfless.
Let’s take a look at Joe Miller and how he is portrayed on the show. As I have stated in the various rewatch posts, most of the time Joe Miller is shown as loving, caring and genuinely supportive parent and partner. As u/Vioralarama stated so well in my post about episode 5, “He's got the plot armor of the supportive spouse who handles all the emotional work for the person working the crime.” On the surface, he does. Every time we see Joe Miller, he is seen with a member of his family. And every time he is seen he is doing some sort of supportive work for them.
Case in point, when Joe and DS Miller invite DI Hardy to their home for dinner, Joe does it all. Puts the kids to bed, prepares dinner, does the dishes. He tries to mediate between DI Hardy and DS Miller, too, and makes a great effort to lighten the mood.
Once you look below the surface, though, things look entirely different. We see glimpses here and there that things are not what they seem, mostly through things we DON’T see rather than the things to DO see.
Joe Miller shows some worrying signs of being a neglectful parent and partner quite early on in the show. To pick up the example of the dinner experience, when DS Miller leaves the room, Joe Miller uses the time he has alone with DI Hardy to probe him for information. If he truly were the supportive husband the show wants us to believe, he would’ve used that time to help both find common ground in their working relationship. DI Hardy is the one who brings that up and asks about whether DS Miller likes him. The conversation is cut short though as Joe Miller filled the narrow time slot with questions about the case and didn’t leave DI Hardy enough to ask about how to improve his working relationship with DS Miller. Case in point, DS Miller keeps complaining that DI Hardy addresses her as “DS Miller” instead of “Ellie”. This would have been a great talking point for Joe Miller in that moment, asking “why” and mediating between them. Also, did Joe Miller make a dinner invitation to help DS Miller and DI Hardy form a working relationship or did he do it to garnish information?
More examples:
When DS Miller and Joe Miller tell Tom Miller about Danny’s passing, both leave him alone in his bedroom. Neither offer a shoulder to cry on. Sure, DS Miller is just as responsible as Joe here but Joe is the stay-at-home parent and therefore the more direct caretaker than DS Miller. Also, over the course of the show we never see Joe actually engaging with Tom, there is no attempt at comforting him, not even when he is obviously distraught. Joe Miller lets Tom out of his sight at the Arcade in episode 5, right in the middle of the “pedophile panic” surrounding Jack Marshal. Just in general, Tom spends a LOT of time wandering the town alone. This image doesn’t sit well with the façade of caring, loving, altruistic father.
Indeed, the filmmakers are pulling one over our eyes with Joe, who turns out to be one of the most egotistic persons in the town. Joe spends time and family money on Danny, he breaks into a holiday hut to do so, manipulates the boy with abuser language and, when threatened to be deprived of his attention, gets so angry he strangles the boy. Whom he still believes to be his son’s best friend. And who is his best friend’s son. The same best friend he then begs for praise because he didn’t drop the body into the ocean so he didn’t have to spend years wondering what happened to the boy.
But why do the filmmakers do this? The series REVELS in red herrings, side plots, dead ends and misdirection. The greatest misdirection they can give us is showing us the “perfect” man and making him turn out to be the most terrible one of all. It’s an emotional gut punch and the type of storytelling that works really well with the type of story they want to convey. Because the story of Broadchurch is not about Danny’s murder, it’s about the fallout that follows. A community like this learning that one of their “best people” is indeed a child murderer has to have a terrible ripple course through it, upsetting it deeply.
With so many other characters filling the “egotism” bill, we are offered a view beyond the picturesque coastal town in Dorset, England, where things look perfect, harmonious and just lovely. The series revels in showing us this image and dissecting it piece by piece, looking deeper and deeper into the cesspool of secrets and bad decisions. As such, the viewer is given the change to observe the deep hurt inflicted upon the more altruistic characters – most of which happen to be women – by the egotistic characters – many of which happen to be men. It is the direct and even more terribly indirect hurt that is inflicted upon the altruistic ones that gives the story the emotional impact it has.
Case in point, Beth Latimer and DS Miller both are exploited by their husbands and end up not only dealing with the direct fallout of their respective actions but hurt to a point they cannot even rely on each other anymore. They are both stripped of the delusion of happiness and family being their haven. They are also both stripped of a friendship which could supply each with a friend who “gets it”. Heck, just for the fun of it the makers toss in Susan Wright, a woman who has been so terribly hurt by her husband that she became jaded enough to “join the other team”. She has become the egotistic abuser her husband was simply because she (probably) used to be altruistic. Her experience with her husband, the police and the loss of her kids have kicked her to the other side of egotism simply out of a deep need for self-preservation.
Before the question comes up, no, the series is not about men vs women, or men = bad, women = good. And neither is this post. There are egotistic women in the story, like Karen White, Susan Wright or Becca Fisher. There are altruistic men in the story, too, like DI Hardy. But the trend is quite distinct. In my own personal experience this comes from the general societal expectation that women should be altruistic and work for the group. An expectation that is not socialized as thoroughly in men. The show picks up on this and showcases it to great effect, placing a great emphasis on the price some women are made to pay for following this expectation.
Finally, the question of egotism vs altruism is a thinking point the viewer is left to ponder with beyond the end credits of the last episode. The discussion of who is what and how much can keep the viewer’s mind busy for some time. Several people on this sub posted they hated Mark Latimer’s selfishness, and many commenters agree. If you ask me, this is a great result for a series, making the viewers contemplate things such as this beyond the actual viewing experience.

I am an Australian I’ve been agoraphobic for 9 plus years I’m 28 now and also an alcoholic for the past 2 years and it just ruined my relationship, my gf 30 was a girl I meet in a drinking discord she was from Minnesota, she was also a little bit of a drinker but not to the extent of me, when I first met her she was so loud the type of laugh that drowns out the rest in the room I knew the second I seen her smile I liked her.
We started talking straight away and she was going through a failing marriage but still keeping as happy as a person could be, she shared her interest with me books, gardening, painting, and most important rocks! She had gems of all sort throughout her house, I called her my crazy crystal girl as a joke one night but it got that same over the top laugh from than I was hooked, sometimes when I saw her in a discord channel I would jump it and the second she saw me she would say “heey land down under”
It grew rather fast into talking every time we seen each other I would join a channel that she was in and start playing “subtle” songs that I would direct at her until we would be the last two in the channel, from there Snapchat and calls everyday all day, phone sex, sharing plans for the future and meeting up even me moving to America, eventually she moved back to her mums got and divorce sold the house went to Mexico for a holiday
This was over the course of 8 months and throughout that time I never stopped drinking half a bottle, or 2 L of wine, or 12 beers daily the biggest break I had was 2 weeks she always understood my addiction and never once judged me for it, she was the kindest person I had met, even with my agoraphobia she was still understanding saying she could visit me, and she wanted to 6 months in but I told her not to because I’m embarrassed about where I live, compared to her I am broke she’s middle class, I think this is where the relationship started to go down hill I seen the look on her face when I said it and for the next few months I over compensated by give more and more attention the type you know even you would find annoying but even than she understood.
The relationship more or less ended a couple hours ago because a fight we had four days ago when I accused her of cheating, a girl that had never even shown me a sign of being anything but faithful to me, we fall asleep on the phone together nearly every night, my alcoholism has been getting bad for the past month, I had alcohol psychosis and I got auditory hallucinations of her moaning while she was on the phone with me, keep in mind she was literally on the phone with me camera on and I said I think I’m going crazy and hung up without saying I love you she hates that, that should have been a sign but of course the next day I pick up the bottle from where I left off, night comes no call okay she probably feel asleep might as well keep drinking with friends middle of the night come, and I get a call it’s dark and I hear her moaning again, I ask her to put her light on so I can see her.. she moans again I remember the night before and the paranoia sets in, I blurt out are you doing shit with someone, she was in pain she pulled a muscle in her back, but the damage was done
I don’t blame her for breaking up and take full responsibility, we spoke through text a few hours ago but accusing her of cheating, alcohol or not was the straw that broke the kindest camels back, even through the break up this woman still tried to reassure me that maybe this doesn’t have to be the end just the end for now.
I went out and got food at a restaurant a day for the first time in years because I promised her I would start getting better with the agoraphobia after I accused her and I haven’t had a drink since either, 2 days sober, 5 days too late

TLDR: How many groups weave AP’s plots together, campaign after campaign, versus just function as disparate, stand-alone stories? Also, AMA for Giantslayer, Ruins of Azlant, and Rise of the Runelords.
Our current group started before one of my co-workers and I joined it, but in its current configuration we have been going for around seven years. We’ve finished three AP’s start to finish: Giantslayer, Ruins of Azlant, and as of last week, Rise of the Runelords. This post will contain spoilers for all three so please be aware. I entered Giantslayer at the start of Book 5 along with a co-worker who had never played a tabletop before, and for me it had been years since I played, I typically have been stuck in forever DM mode. We fit in pretty well as the group was willing to work around our extremely busy and complicated work schedule. Over the course of about a year and a half, including a change in venue, we managed to finish the two extremely large back-to-back dungeon crawls of books 5+6.
For our next campaign our DM wanted to do something different can gave us a 25 point buy and 35-point custom race creation, told us we were bred in a lab, and to go crazy. We came up with some unique creations and spent the next 3 years (thanks, pandemic) running our custom creations through a modified version of Ruins of Azlant, replacing the Azlanti Spindle Society with Aperture Science, including GlaDOS signing Still Alive to us. As we were winding down that campaign, our DM asked if I would be willing to DM the next one, since he wanted to get a chance to play. Considering that I had just had my longest uninterrupted period of time as a player, I said sure.
After some deliberation, I decided that we would play through Rise of the Runelords. Overall, I thought it seemed well paced and enjoyable, but three parts immediately stood out and made me want to run it: book 2’s hunt for a serial killer through a haunted house, book 3 effectively being Pathfinder’s version of the Hills Have Eyes, and the last books Wendigo assault on an isolated mining camp. Those three portions clinched the deal for me over other AP’s.
Each campaign I set myself a goal. For Giantslayer, it was to relearn the rules and the differences from 3.5. For Ruins, it was to master the intricacies of the feat system and combat maneuvers through playing a BrawleMaster of Many Styles combo. For this campaign as a DM, I had three goals: 1) allow the PCs to hit level 20, (2) tie all of our campaigns together somehow, and (3) having just finished replaying the Kingdoms of Amalur remaster, I wanted to throw a Crudok in there somehow.
After four years or so of playing at this point and topping out each AP at around 16, I wanted to give my players the opportunity to see 9^th level spells and capstone abilities. I knew I was going to have to create a bunch of content to add in to get them there, but I can do a lot of that at work, so I wasn’t too worried. I knew I wasn’t going to be running Wrath of the Righteous right after either, so this was the only chance for the foreseeable future for them to get to 20.
The whole point of this post was the tying of campaigns together. I wanted to give some fanservice to our previous parties and their actions and started thinking over how to do this organically. Funnily enough the catalyst was Volstus the Storm Tyrant, easily one of the weakest antagonist’s (by background and characterization, not necessarily power) Paizo had written. I asked what if his fall from grace in greed and covetousness was caused by an external force, say the Runelord of Greed.
From that point of conjecture forward when Volstus ventured into the Kodar mountains and came back with an Orb of Dragonkind, it was from Xin-Shalast that he found it, and it came engraved with a Sihedron Rune on it. Volstus thus became Karzoug’s Proto-Mokmurian, and his death and loss of his army sent Karzoug back to square one. Additionally, when we started book 6 in Giantslayer we managed to avoid every confrontation before the cloud castle, so there were ready made adversaries to throw into later books already available. Krellan, the shadow giant inquisitor of Zon-Kuthon also gave my PC double middle fingers when she “noped” out before her death, so I knew I wanted vengeance. Our Ruins of Azlant tie ins were not as many, but we ended the campaign right after we killed Ochymua, so we never recovered or did anything with Auberon the Drowned’s phylactery. I figured we would bring him back somehow and go from there.
From advice on forums, this sub, and the Rise of the Runelords dm discord, I worked to tie in Aldern and Ironbriar to the pc’s from the get go; Aldern just with a little bit more roleplay and interactions with them. I had Ironbriar there for the dedication to the Sandpoint cathedral and my surviving Inquisitor (also a member of the Pathfinders) there upset over Cayden Cailean not getting a shrine within. After the party fought off the goblins Ironbriar threw some gold at one member in a private interview, seeming aloof but fair, and proposing sponsoring the group. Another member began a series of interactions with my old pc, the best part of which is that no one remembered his name, so they didn’t make the connection till book 4. I threw in a book in the marketplace that another pc bought, about fables and legends in Varisia, seeding the Sandpoint Devil, Black Magga, and Crudoks in general, and their progenitor, Grandfather Crudok, a rebellious Tane, in particular.
The rest of book one occurred as normal, with a few additions or changes; I fleshed out the rest of the Goblin Chieftains described by Shalelu. I had the pcs encounter them coming back from a meeting at Thistletop from meeting Nualia seeking alliances. Nualia became an Anti-paladin, which worked out really well.
Book Two went swimmingly as well. The pcs were setting into their sin/virtue characteristics by now, so when they got to Foxglove manor, I assigned each type of haunt to one specific sin, which they all were kind enough to have already began to roleplay. Aldern became a Serial Killer Vigilante, which I though fit in well with his multiple personalities, also making him a little more sympathetic. Searching for clues on the Sihedron lead them back to Bishop Malakon (my old character’s name), who revealed the tie-in to Volstus and sponsored them into the Pathfinders. The rest of book two went mostly to plan.
By the time they were making it close to Fort Rannick I was beginning the mass of insanity that would become the rest of the campaign, as I began to customize each encounter to either become easier or present more of a challenge. Almost every major encounter was rewritten from this point on, mostly due to adding another player (playing a pet class), and another pc taking leadership. Between the increased pace of leveling to get them to 20 before the Eye of Avarice and having effectively 9 party members (pcs and pets), it was the easiest way to continue to provide them challenges, but also be able to throw them a softball every so often, so each encounter wasn’t too stressful. Outside of customizing the Ogres and Ogre kin, most of book 3 stayed faithful; Lamatar became one of my friend’s characters from Giantslayer (I didn’t feel too bad about making him undead since he had ended the campaign dead and was only resurrected in our epilogue). He was later reincarnated as a gnome and chose to become the druid of the Shimmerglens after Myrianna passed on. Lucrecia managed to escape both the Fort and then the Clanhold, taunting the party before teleporting away.
Book Four was fun to set up. The Giant invasion ended up involving all of the Stone Giants and the dragon of the written encounters, but I added all of the Ash Giants, the siege weapons, and the Black Scorpion from Giantslayer book 6. The PCs gathered what allies they could, teleporting to Magnimar to spend their money and alert their friends, and built-up Sandpoint’s defenses as best they could. Also, through tracking the dates in game every session, the attack occurred in the middle of winter, with much of the water around Sandpoint frozen.
As the war drums started beating and the party saw the army of giants following a colossal scorpion with catapults on its arms and back firing at them, I could tell they felt I had maybe overplayed my hand, especially when the dragon set the Hagfish on fire. So even though the Deus Ex Machina was really tropey, when our current Swashbuckler’s character from Giantslayer came to the rescue with the flying castle she kept at the end of that campaign and proceeded to engage the Ash Giants with her friend Ferin (from Forge of the Giant God) and her murder chicken Axebeak mount, the expressions on my players faces made up for it. The players raced to engage the dragon before he burnt down Sandpoint and directly after the fight were engaged by Lucrecia and a party of assassins tailored to take out the party (it helped that one pc kept wearing the Sihedron Medallion until the Runeforge; scrying on them was always happening). After winning that fight, I threw them another curveball.
They had stationed all of the Sandpoint defender NPC’s defending the lower portion of Sandpoint, and they now had to play them, trying to hold the attacking Stone Giant’s off for the 10 minutes or so their character had already been engaged. So, they played a waiting game while running Ameiko, Tsuto (out on good behavior), Lyrie and Orik (whom they had spared), Sheriff Hemlock, and Father Zantus, and the only survivor from Fort Rannick, Vale Temros. They did an incredible job, managing to hold off a force of twelve Stone Giants and Teraktinus for almost 8 minutes before Zantus was killed, and Ameiko, Lyrie, Orik, and Sheriff Hemlock were captured; Vale and Tsuto managed to escape and point the pcs in the right direction. On the way to Jorgenfist the party encountered it’s first Crudok. On the bank of the river, outside of the Deathweb’s cave, the party also fought the undead body of Black Magga, who they happened to have killed in the encounter during the flood in book 3 (I used a Bloathsome from Green Ronin’s Freeport Bestiary for her). Outside of some stat changes the rest of book four went as planned. Same with book five.
I had been leaving little hints as to Trelmarixian throughout the campaign so far; I like him as a villain and I never would have expected Famine to be the most interesting Horseman, so kudos, Paizo. I had decided at this point that the Wendigo being themed around hunger would work with this. I statted up Grandfather Crudok as one of the Tane who had been corrupted and converted to a worshipper of the Horseman of Famine, and it was his corrupting influence who had drawn the Wendigo to that corner of the Kodar mountains. After defeating Karivek’s ghost and the Wendigo, the storm’s end revealed a summoning circle that activated a portal, through which Trelmarixian, Horseman of Famine, rode through on his Apocalypse Horse. Joining him was his summoner, Grandfather Crudok, a mythic version with druid and evangelist levels, who’s animal companion (sic) was a lesser Jabberwock, and for good measure, the Horror Tree became a Sard. The party froze, asses already kicked from their fights in the cabin, and a scroll case that they had been given back in book two and carrying since then, began to glow. A portal to a tropical area opened up, and our characters from Ruins of Azlant stepped through, leveled up and given four mythic ranks. Our old characters fought this battle in one of the most fun one-shots I have ever run, and all of the work I had put in to get my players to this point was worth it as I got to both challenge them and see them let loose with some member berry comfort food.
We just finished our fight with Karzoug last week and this coming week will be doing a campaign wrap up and session zero for our next AP, Strange Aeons. I think this one is going to mostly be going by the books, since I am going to be writing out 5 backstories as it is. I was just really curious how many groups last long enough to link campaigns, and whether or not any dms go through the efforts to do so.

I'm writing this on a throwaway account since these people know my main and actively engage with it. This is also gonna be a pretty long post since I'd like to provide context on how I even ended up where I am today so strap on in. Also apologies if any of this doesn't make sense, I'm pretty upset and stressed out and I've not slept in what feels like weeks. I have a lot of anxiety about all of this.
I started my first year in uni last year in September and met a couple of people I thought were nice enough on the first day. I'll call them 'G' and 'M'. I thought they were nice at first and we got closer as the weeks went by. G and M are also engaged so we talked about weddings quite often. They're are also cosplayers which becomes key in this. We got a lot closer around a time they were going to a con. Their previous friend had dropped out last minute but since they had already paid for everything they invited me. I also wanted to get into cosplaying at the time so I saw this as a perfect opportunity. I would spend nights at their dorms getting know them and we instantly got a long.
At the time, I was very nieve to all the red flags they were presenting as they were unusually willing to let me know EVERY detail of their life, including their sex life and what not. I found it werid but chalked it up to them being very comfortable around me which I found to be a compliment at the time but looking back, I now knew what was up.
(A little but of important info here but I had just feld a country 5 months prior to escape the abuse I was experiencing at home and went to live with my mum. G and M knew this and knew about my dad in depth)
Con comes around and they introduced me to a group of friends who were instantly very reserved around me. I chalked it up to nerves and thought that maybe they're just nervous which is understandable. This was until everytime I would speak they would give me dirty looks, talk over me and even dismiss me. M had also picked up a habit of making a lot of things about himself and anything I found interesting, he would make it clear that he didn't want to know, even telling me that he just doesn't want to hear it. When I went to meet a YouTube who attended the con, he seemed annoyed when I was excited and told me to stop being so excited since this was his 3rd time meeting them.
By time I got back home, their dismissing and also just really shitty attitude throughout left a sour taste in my mouth. However, I just chalked it up to nerves at the time.
A month goes by and they intoeduce me to another cosplayer who I quickly became friends with. When I told G about this, they told me to stop talking to them since I'll brea their heart as they "fall in love easily". I really didn't get that sentiment but still continued talking. Nothing romantic was ever talked about.
Then I started feel more attached to these people. They were practically in my life 24/7, I wa sin their dorms over nights almost everyday and began picking up the same eating habits as them as well. It's also worth noting that these people are "disabled" which is still up to debate.
They would frequently interrupted anything I enjoyed and conveniently pass out EVERYTIME I talked about something I liked or wanted to do. I also suffer with VERY acute psychosis which has been well treated for many years. They would constantly tell me that any doubts I had were just to do with my paranoia and that I should just ignore it. That or they would tell me that I was being manipulative and seeking attention.
This was all very sus but up until the incident I chalked it up to learned behaviour as I know one of them suffers with PTSD like I do.
At some point around this time, I had developed a severe kidney infection which almost turned into sepsis and I had to get the ambulance out to me. I'm no stranger to ambulances as I also have them out frequently due to severe panic attacks which almost cause a seizure and a heart attack I'm some cases.
Strangely after this, despite telling me that they've never had an ambulance out to them, for anything small like an ache they would call 111 which they didn't know before I had told them. 111 in the UK is the none emergency line that can send out am ambulance if you need it. However in a lot of the cases M had, they were perfectly fine but would cry and sob on the phone and say they felt like dying. Of course they send out an ambulance to check on them but it would always be fine.
Worried as I was all the time, I neglected my studies to take care of them and I'd spend a lot on them since I felt the compulsive need to take care of them. They would also guilt trio me with the fact that they were both previously homeless in their childhoods so I needed to get them something in return. I ended up spending over 300 pounds a month on them.
I caught M out one though since the uni I go to, require the ambulances to inform the reception first for permission and to unlock all the doors for them. Before going up to M, I had to go to reception to ask if they would let me in. When I informed they why, they were confused and said that there were no ambulances that parked up at all, not even firefighters which sometimes arrive for medical aid occasionally.
Moving forward a lil I had started to grown attached to them more to the point where I thought I liked them. They expressed to me previously that they're poly and so am I. M had even stated to me that when they first met me they found me attractive and wanted to potentially have relationship.
One day I decided to just confess over text making it extremely clear to them that they had to think about it first so that we did not rush into things and make things worse. If they wanted to be friends then i would be ok with that and I made myself very clear 3 or 4 times within the text.
Instantly, because i was in the room next to them, they came in and told me that they loved me. They hugged me and cuddled me for a while until we went into M room. I was in G room at the time. Suddenly, they both got completely naked in front of me. I had told them that I'm ok with boxers and a shirt since they were more like shorts but getting naked? I was shocked but just went along with it. I was in a shirt and boxers until they told me that i should join them and take my top and bra off (we're all under the trans umbrella). They both persisted and feeling pressured I took my shirt and bra off and joined them in bed. Then G opens up a folder on their phone of their nudes together which I was in shock for. I knew they had it but tbh, I didn't really want to see it. They then expressed how our previous shopping trip to a sex store (we're adults and we go in there cause why not) was a test to see if I would take the hint they liked me. I'm autistic but even I could tell that that was a lie. There were never any discussions of that nature that took place that day.
They then went on about their sex life in full detail. I'm not particularly fond of the idea of personally having sex within the first few months of dating since I'm very frigid about that sort of thing. I'm not stranger to sled pleasure but anything like that is entirely different and I wanted my boundaries to be known then and there. There were a few touches here and there after that, all of which would explicitly done with consent as I have had encounters with SA previously. They knew this.
After that day, they all of a sudden stopped talking me completely. We were on uni break so it wasn't like I could talk to them in class about it either. I felt alone and like I had done something wrong. This sent me onto a pretty bad depressive episode which triggered a small psychotic episode to occur. During which they would constantly tell me when they did feel like talking to me that i was just like my dad (abuser) and that I was being annoying and paranoid about everything. I have since talked to me my mum about this since my memory is a little hazy from that time and she said that the only thing that could've given the episode away was my sudden belief in a god and afterlife. I'm an atheist and grew up that way. But G and M were mostly referring to the fact that on numerous occasions I had called them out on body shaming me, using me as fatspo to fuel their own anorexia and belittling language they would against me constantly. This was even present in class alot since some students who I'm now friends with even stated that they acted as if they ere higher than everyone. Anytime you didn't give them attention, they'd start going on about suicide or passing out only to wake up seconds later.
They also claim to have DID and that one of their alters had encephalitis. This wasn't just a symptom holder either. They would claim they all had it and even told paramedics who were caring for another patient who had broke their leg on campus at the time that they had it. Although after this, they came back pissed to the paramedics caught on pretty quickly that this was a lie.
Months of this built up a full mental breakdown and I had one of the most server panic attacks of my life. I had to be admitted onto A&E where u saw the mental health team to discuss as safety plan since I was have frequent bouts of this. I've always felt with hallucinations since I was 8 but never like I had on that day and to this day, the only thing I can fully remember is the feeling and vision I had. I would not wish it on my worst enemy.
G and M response to this? They went to my friend who was packing my bag at the time and told them that if they didn't pack it the right way I would hate them. They actually cold apparently and not once did they ask how I was. When I got home, I only saw one text saying "hey, Ik your in A&E but you can tell me in your own time what happend."
They were very much disinterested me and I began to be fed up with them. I had an upcoming concert with them not long after so I figured I'd keep the peace until them and they distance myself from them since I was clearly suffering from it all. Around this time, I had randomly been kicked out of the discord we had together with the people we met at con. I asked around they just gave one word responses. I had attempted to be friends with them before but annoyed by their sudden disinterest in me again, I just moved on.
Fast forward and I'm logging in on minecraft to a shared server we had. I used this server as a coping mechanism since it was literally the only thing that got me out of bed and moving to a degree some days. However everything I ahd built was gone. All my pent uo frustration just let itself out and I started crying down the phone over a voice message to G. I was a bit pissed but overly. Key thing note however is that I was having a go at them and in no way screaming at them which they later claimed I did. I even showed my mum and therapist and they were both in agreement that I was not shouting nor did I even raise my voice. It sounded more like I was upset than anything else.
G then said that they lost trust me because of this and that they wanted some distance for a while. I apologies profusely, even getting my mum to help me since I was I no way fit to text. However, a dumb mistake we made was sending the same apology over to the both of them, the only difference being their name. G then stated that because of the name, that they felt like I wasn't actually apologising and didn't wanna hear it. I tried to clear things up but the they told me that I had no excuse to act this way towards them since they were "such a good friend to me". After this, i went on call with a friend of mine who is my ex. However we ended on pretty good terms and are still close to this day. They even look after my cat for me.
I'm gonna call him J. J can be the over protective type so in response to my distress texted G ti find out more about why they were so cold about everything and in his mind, over reacted to something so insignificant like minecraft. This is where they made the claimed that I had screamed at them and I sent them into a PTSD attack. What J did notice though was that the story they gave was almost word for word of a panic attack in had explained to J about, almost like they copied it and changed a few things. They the proceeded to tell me that I was abusing them in that moment and that i was exactly like their dad (who's a pedo btw). Hurt by this and the fact that I had told J to NOT text G at all, I ended thinsg of stating my true feelings about everything and said that I never wanted to see them again. It felt good to get it off my chest and honestly freeing. The weeks after that were spent healing in therapy with my mum who both agreed that their actions in the past were more akin to.emotional bullying. Om still coming to terms with this I had trusted them with every fibre of my being. It felt like my heart was being ripped apart whoever, I stated talking to new people in my class around that time. Each of them said that they had notice the same behaviours towards me themselves and were honestly concerned for my safety since they would frequently talk shit about me behind my back. They then put on their snapchat story the next day that they were greatful for the friend they had and got rid of dead weight in their life. They also chalk up their sudden change to be apart of their BPD which if you have seen the eyes of someone who's manic, you'd know that it has a distinct look. The photos they took of themselves really disturbed me as you can clearly tell they're not right in the head at all. The eyes were dark and blown fully. Their eyes just looks black and soulless. I showed another friend who has BPD to confirm if it was what I was thinking and they agreed. It was unnerving and I honestly felt uncomfortable. I couldn't sleep well that night. They looked like they belonged in those headshots of convicts who had just been arrested and still are clearly under the influence. After this I also sent out a text containing context to everything to the group chat since I knew they were gonna manipulate things. I have seen them in person do it and it's honestly disturbing to see. Each one responded telling me that I was a liar and that I should feel ashamed of myself. One even told me they weren't gonna hear me out since they didn't know me well which I think is just a werid line of logic to have tbh. One even accused me of faking my disability which I quick proved to be false which silenced them. I've since blocked every single one of them since I don't wnat anything to do with them at all. I don't want them to know about my life and twist things again to hurt me. Forgive me if I'm over doing it but honestly, it was like I was talking to group of psychopaths who didn't care for anyone but themselves. Their past actions certainly proved that much.
Fast forward a week and I'm out shopping with friends all of a sudden, at even location we were at G was there. These were bookshops that were not well known the area and hidden very well so there would be no way G would know about them, especially since they don't like reading. G still followed one of my friends on snapchat and we found out by testing that every post we'd make, with or without the location attached, G would be right there moments later. Creeper out we ended the day for our own safety and went home.
Ever since all that, I have been taking to a friend of mine who G and M claimed abused them although with the evidence I have seen, it was the complete opposite. G was a regular drug user and would constantly use drugs as an excuse for their actions. My friend also suffered heavily with mental health problems and physical ailments that they need physio therapy for. G and M would constantly tell them they were faking and that they should stop acting like they were in pain. This is similar to an incident where they stated that I was not physically disabled cause they couldn't see it. Which is stupid honestly. By law, I am classed as disabled as to this day I struggle diary with ankle and knee problems due to a late development. I frequently use my braces but I don't use a cane since I'm too self conscious despite it being recommended to me by my doctors.
It hurt to see that they were treated this way and we bonded over shared experiences. There were also other people they had done this too.
Finally getting to the main issue, recently a con just took place which I had to cancel last minute since a family member died and I had to fly back over to my previous country to attend the funeral. The friend that G and M introduced to me started getting closer to them which I honestly didn't pay much mind to since I'm now just done with that shit. However, it wast until now that I feel uncomfortable. All of a sudden, this friend, ill call them O, had removed me from their private account for "safety reasons" and said they had done this to othe people. It didn't take long before I saw with my own eyes that it was just me. G and M have a nasty habit of spreading false rumours and if you know the cosplay community well, that shit spreads liek wildfire. It doesn't have that they have a sizable following compared to mine and know alot more people than I do. I honestly think they're tryna turn people against me and I don't know what to do at this point. I want them to leave me alone and keep my name out of things. I have had so many great days ever since we stopped being friends and my health has also improved dramatically. I'm not having as many panic attacks or severe ones either and I've not had a depressive episode like the ones before ever since.
I don't want to be dragged down like this and I wanted to defend myself however I know for a fact they have more influence then me so many people will side with them just like the group chat did. I don't know what to do anymore and I really don't want things to kick off again either. If I sense any drama starting at all I will just block people cause I'm just not having it. It's all child's play and they honestly need to fucking grow up and grow some balls or something. I just don't know what to do anymore. Thoughts?

Hi people thanks for the helpful tips! You lot finally convinced me to visit Khao Sok too. We will travel Thailand for 3 weeks in July and have chosen Phuket - PhiPhi - AoNang - Kao Sok - Koh islands - Bangkok.
Few things I can't figure out after searching online and browsing options on 12goasia maybe someone can help me here.

1. Some say skip PhiPhi and do day trip from Krabi. Is it wise to not book a night on the island? And fast boat Vs 2h ferry?
   
2. My main question, how do you get from Khao Sok/ Chew Lan Lake to Don Sak pier? We planning to spend 2 nights there, 1 last night will be on the lake with a tour of the national park. But I can't seem to find transport options from the Lake pier to bring me to Loprayah 3pm fast ferry From DonSak pier to Samui. Anyone has any advice?
   
3. I can't seem to find a good combination of transport to Bangkok from Tao, as flying at 9am from Chumphon is not possible without staying over in town, the ferry + bus options seems like a waste of time, so our best consideration now is to take the latest ferry from Tao to Chumphon, chill at the beach, head to town and night market before boarding the overnight train and arrive in the morning in Bangkok. Unless anyone has better suggestions?
   

Thanks you all, sorry for the questions that may seem obvious/beginner, its our first time traveling Thailand.

Long story short we had a relatively healthy happy relationship. Been married 4 years. Both had supportive families on either side of so I thought.
Found out my wife (32) back in 2021/22 was getting bullied in her old work place. Wife’s mum used to ring me for hours on end asking why I don’t do it. Yet tell me my wife is a big girl and can deal with bullying on her own, along with telling me she’s worried about my wife’s weight and weight loss. My wife very private person opted not to talk about her bullying and try sort it internally. As her husband I watch her crumble and decided enough with enough. Various stress factors nearly caused my wife’s bowels to explode due to stress damage. Multiple A&E/ER trips medical bills my mother in law never once came near the hospital to support my wife. But always arm chair directing. I eventually helped my wife get a new job.
Few months later we figured my wife developed an eating disorder which I thought had gotten worse since previous bullying trauma. At a family BBQ at her mums, I asked both my own mum (wife is very close to) and her own mum for support. To which my mother in law replied she is a big girl and waved away eating disorder! Yet she flagged the weight loss previous.
Roll forward to 2023 weeks found out we were expecting a baby last year, my mum (I’m the husband) was over joyed and so excited. Finally becoming a grandma. My wife very apprehensive going to tell her mum on the same night. We did and her mums response was nothing short of disgusting. She (52 year old lady) sat on her big chair repeated fuck, oh fuck, fuck off with a face that looked like it had been slapped with a fish. The disgusting facial expressions still haunt me to this day. My wife really cried and disappointed on her mums response, I tried to sugar coat and say her mum was just shocked it being her first grandchild.
The months after this my mother in law being really awkward and strange. Mother in law used to whisper when my wife wasn’t around you made a mistake you made a mistake regarding getting my wife pregnant. My father in law works away and when he found out his response was joy and happiness like my own mums.
My mother in law booked a holiday half way through my wife’s pregnancy taking my wife. Who hated her body image while being pregnant due to eating disorder (which she was getting help for to over come) my wife was guilt tripped into the holiday and while there spent 5 days texting me saying hate it here, didn’t want go and can’t wait to come home. I didn’t want cause a fuss and kept my wife moral up, telling her how she was doing amazing pregnant and the holiday might relax her.
My wife and I lived in my mums home (big enough house) due to building on land nearby. Pregnancy happened much quicker than we expected, issues with building and work along with wife health put the house build on hold. My wife got sick and our little one made a very quick appearance in the world at 28 weeks. As husband being my first baby I felt my wife smashed child birth, no pain relief, 6/7 hours in labour and baby arrived very early, tiny but healthy. My wife nearly broke my hand due to squeezing so much lol. As a man the proudest moment ever seeing my child for the very first time.
Nearly a stressful 10 weeks in neonatal unit which our child battled life with many ups and downs. Grandparents (just our mums) were only allowed in due to infection minimisation were the only ones allowed the visit 1 hour each a day. All of a sudden my wife’s mum who didn’t give a shit about the pregnancy wanted in every day. Even when our baby had infections never listening to nursing protocols and basically making me leave each time she came in. Some days while at sitting watching our child my mother in law would say aw she will be living with me again soon, I’ll have my family back together. Telling me I’m a worthless man, I didn’t deserve a child or to be a dad and I had little boy dreams for my business that I should be working a real job.
I work in IT contracting live what I do but my passion is my start up business in healthy beverages which has grown and fast. The idea of my business was to ensure I could work from home and be there flexibly with clients Rigid timings or deadlines.
My mother in law does no work, lives in a big house which is falling apart and nearly $1 million of debt is used (from what my father in law states) mother in law pretends to live the high life making her husband work 7 days a week around the west coast to fund her 3/4 holiday fair designer hand bag life. My mother in law always outs me down, picks on my wife and stopped our house build due to medaling with the contractors and causing issues. Since our son was born my mother in law has taking our child out and about exposing her to germs days after being released from hospital which result in a breathing infection near killing our little one.
My wife is petrified to stand up to her mum, who rings 20/30 times a day. My wife could be brushing her teeth gets a face time stops her life to answer. My other in law has got my wife and child to move 1.5 hours away causing my wife and I split. I can’t take the pressure of a controlling mother in law. I want my wife back but she is too scared to see how her mum acts and treats her.
How the hell does anyone deal with this!!!

My birthday is coming up in a few weeks and what usually happens in our family for birthdays is we go out to a nice restaurant sometime around our birthday and then on the actual day, we do presents, a bit of cake and the birthday boy/girl gets to choose what to eat for dinner.
My parents said I can invite my partner to dinner out and I suggested a restaurant we all like. I asked to make a reservation for a week before my birthday so my partner could attend as on the weekend of my birthday, his family has a tradition of going to a car race. My parents ignored my request and booked it for when he was unavailable so I asked them to change it. I told my parents I wanted to spend my birthday with them at home with the family.
My mom had recently been discussing taking a trip to my city (I live 3 hours away for uni) with my sister and my sister's friend, whom I've never met. We discussed some activities we could do and that was the end of the conversation. Today, my mom called me and told me that they had booked it for the weekend of my birthday. I told her that I didn't want to spend my birthday with half the family and my sister's friend. She said my dad would be joining but not my brother and it was the only weekend they could do because of school holidays and their wedding anniversary is right after my birthday as well. I said to my mom that that was fine and they can go on their trip and I would go away with my partner's family for the car race and she ended the call.
Recently, I have felt like my family, my parents especially, have been pushing me around so I'm trying to stand my ground here. I feel like on my birthday, I deserve to feel special and included in any plans to celebrate it. It feels like my birthday is an afterthought for them and they planned to travel to my city on my actual birthday so I would only have spent half the day with them and half by myself. I don't want to spend my birthday with people who don't treat me this way and I know my partner's family wouldn't treat me this way.

On Monday I made a post, the day I found out. I deleted it as I was feeling really overwhelmed.
I am ready now to try again and seek advice. We have been together for 10 years, we had our first daughter young, when she was 6 months old he went to a party and slept with his ex. Feeling like the guilt was overwhelming, He has only just told me.
I have had a week to think, but it's been hard. Loads of people on here were initially like 'leave him' 'take the kids and go'. It's really not that easy and I am going to explain why I am very trapped, hopefully someone will be able to give me some advice.
.I only work part time, I open a gym so start at 5am 3 times a week. Who will be there to take the kids to school if he's not there? I will loose my job and I have just started an apprenticeship, I will loose that If my hours are cut.
.my dad died last year, It was very sudden and unexpected, very traumatic. My mum is still not okay, obviously. I worry about her constantly. I live very close and my sister lives abroad, so I feel very much responsible for making sure she is okay. This would stress her out so much. She has paid for a very expensive holiday for us all to go on in 2 weeks, she would be devastated if we split now.
.we have had an offer accepted on a house and it's moving forward quickly now. The deposit is 100% mine thankfully, it's all inheritance. I'm getting something written up so if we split the house is 100% minw but he is still responsible for half the mortgage. He has agreed to this. Our rent is more expensive than our mortgage will be so it makes sense to get in the house then split, no? Again, I don't want to stress my mum out. Plus the house needs a lot of work.. am I prepared to do that alone? Will my plan work? I certainly can't pay it on my own.. but he will need to pay some sort of child support? I have no idea about any of this.
.I can't drive. I have a test booked in August. I know, I know, it's the bane of my life. I had really bad post natal anxiety and I would have panic attacks in cars a lot. The thought of driving make me want to throw up, but I am feeling a lot better in the past few years. Lessons are going well, but tests and lessons are so expensive. He helps me pay for them. What if I fail again?
.my kids, he is such a good dad. So hands on, they love him. My eldest especially would be devastated. She is an anxious kid, we are getting her an assessment for autism, she is not great with change and is very emotional. After loosing my dad, who was a huge part of her life, so suddenly last year she was a mess. She has just started to feel better, I feel very selfish putting her through a lot of stress again.
So those are my reasons why I am still here. I have said to him I need time but I can't leave my house and he can't either. I need him. I'm so out of it this week I can't look after my kids like I want too. He's been doing everything.
He's been begging me, crying, loosing weight. He is devastated. I do believe him, that is was one time. It's just the lying for so long. His ex has been round our house too for large parties more than once and it makes me feel sick. He said he didn't want to upset her by saying she can't come then her say something to me... What fucking psychos, both of them. I feel like if he told me at the time, we might if split but then got back together.. then I wouldn't even be thinking about it, just a blip in our past. He has taken my decision from me, and told me when I literally could not be more trapped.
I love my friends but they don't have kids, they keep saying 'just leave, I couldn't take it, we would be here for you' yeah great come over 3 days a week at 5am and sort out my kids then? They have no idea. I have to think practically. I choose to have kids it's not just about me. I had them young too, I feel like my life has never been about me. Now with my mum.. it's never just about me.
'its going to be hard if you stay, you will need to work at your relationship' 'its going to be hard if you leave, starting over' why? Why is my life now going to be hard either way? I haven't done anything wrong. I haven't done anything wrong.
If you have made it through, congratulations. Love that for you x

I have been going out clubbing on girls night about once a month, and it morphed into me sitting on the couch while my friends flirted and made out with guys. I would talk to the 'spare' guy, but absolutely no flirting, kissing or touching.
I know two of the girls in the group from uni, and the rest of the girls are friends of friends. We would go clubbing (where I live has quite the night life, and my city is a bit of a tourist destination, so it's always busy), have a few drinks and dance, then head home. The last few times I went with them (I usually only go once a month, but most of them seem to go every week, or even twice a week), my friends have been meeting guys rather than just dancing, and then going back to someone's place to flirt and make out. One of the group, who I have dubbed Barracuda (she honestly scares me and totally gives off that vibe) lives with her bf, but when he was away for work was when the girls would invite guys back to her house. Barracuda has been doing a lot of flirting with the guys who come back with our group, and more than once she has gone to one of the bedrooms with a guy for an hour or so. I'm honestly a bit naive and always assume the best of people, but even I'm guessing she has cheated on her boyfriend. She doesn't kiss or make out with anyone in the public areas of the house where I can see, but what else would they be doing in a bedroom for that long?
It gets a little worse. My girl friends never wanted me to bring along my fiancé, because he'll "cramp their style" for what's basically become making out with guys. I get pretty bored sitting around waiting for my friends to finish flirting or kissing these guys, so I would sometimes sit and talk with the 'spare' guy who wasn't paired up with one of my friends. I felt super guilty about hanging out with these guys when my fiancé is waiting for me at home, but I also feel guilty about leaving these guys sitting there waiting on their friends. I never flirt or touch them or kiss them, but the thought of my handsome, kind, generous fiancé sitting at home while I'm chatting to guys had me twisted up with guilt. I don't know exactly how I got into this situation, but my fiancé has gently pointed out to me a couple of times that I can be a bit of a people pleaser, so there's that. 🥲
So based on many comments on my first two posts, and some hard thought on my end, I decided to claim I was busy (not hard since we are part-way through my exam block for uni) and not attend the next girls night, until I could figure out how to tell my fiancé what was going on. In my last two posts, I got some good advice on how to broach the topic, so I was just figuring out the best one to suit me.
I told my fiancé that I wasn't going out for girl's night this weekend because some of the girls made me uncomfortable, but he just nodded and didn't say anything, staring off into the distance. I was kinda bummed because I was hoping that would prompt some questions which would lead to a conversation in a natural way. I tried again by telling him I was cutting contact with the girl group, but he didn't really react to that either.
Frankly, he seemed kind of out of it all week, really distracted and giving short answers, staring off into the distance a lot. He hadn't rejected me when I hugged him or snuggled or kissed, but he never initiated this last week, which isn't normal. I figured he was stressed from work, but his behaviour kinda weirded me out.
Come the night of girls night, I was sitting in the lounge room watching some reality TV (trashy, I know, but I was really on edge and needed a distraction) and idly going through my notes for my upcoming exams. My fiancé had been in his study all day (catching up on work even though it was a Saturday) when he finally emerged. He stopped dead, his expression surprised, and asked me what I was doing. I told him I was waiting for him to finish work so we could spend some time together. He got this really weird expression on his face, and didn't seem to know what to say. I reminded him that I had decided not to go to the girls night out, and had told him earlier in the week. He still didn't seem to know what to say, and didn't ask any questions.
Eventually, he told me that a friend of his needed some help, and he'd be gone a few hours. I asked if he'd like me to come, and I swear his face got an almost terrified expression on it. I told him I could change if he needed me to (I was dressed in some jeans and a t-shirt), but he said it would be best if I didn't get involved. Which was a super weird thing to say, but this week has been super weird all up. He then left, and I took the opportunity to finish writing my thoughts out and prepare for how to tell him. An hour or so after my fiancé left, I started getting weird text messages from a couple of my girl friends. Apparently, Barracudas bf came back in a surprise visit, and caught her red-handed. I got some accusatory text messages asking if I set her up or something. I texted back for more details, but then I think I got blocked.
At first, I thought I was lucky I hadn't been there, but it gets more complicated.
My fiancé came home around midnight, and I rushed to the door to give him a hug and let him know what was going on with my girl friends (at least what I could figure out). But he held me at arms length, which really hurt. I asked what the hell was going on, in a fairly straightforward manner (not usual for me), and he looked startled, but asked me to come with him to the lounge room. We sat down, and he dispassionately told me about Barracudas bf installing a door cam, and figuring out his gf was cheating on him. He'd planned to catch her in the act by pretending to fly to work the day before and stay in a hotel, but he also contacted my fiancé since I was the only other attached girl in the situation. My fiancé planned to turn up and catch me in the act if I was cheating as well.
At this point, I burst into tears because I don't handle confrontation well, and I couldn't get any words out between sobs. I was an absolute mess - this wasn't a couple of tears and glimmering eyes like in the movies. It was an ugly cry with snot and my entire face blotchy. I couldn't explain myself and just shoved the paper I'd been writing my thoughts out on at him while blubbering incoherently.
He found me a box of tissues, and I tried to clean myself up while he read through my somewhat disjointed notes. In the end, he asked me point blank if I had ever cheated on him, and I remember shaking my head vehemently, and trying to deny it through tears. He nodded, saying some of my girl friends there that night has vouched for me, though they seemed convinced I had ratted Barracuda out to her bf. He asked me if I had known what Barracuda was up to, and my tears had subsided enough that I was able to explain that I suspected what she was up to, but hadn't seen anything myself.
He rolled his eyes at that, looking exasperated, and asked me what would anyone think at that point. I started crying again, but managed to get out that I hadn't felt it was any of my business, but that I had wanted to tell him, and that's why I had drafted the notes.
My fiancé raised his voice at this, and started shouting about how he would want to know if he was being cheated on, and people who know about cheating and don't say anything are almost as bad as cheaters. His voice was still loud as he told me he was really angry at my lack of boundaries, and staying there to talk to guys had violated his trust. I was shocked at this point. My normally quietly assertive fiancé was shouting, and I couldn't recall that ever happening before. Sure, we'd had some arguments in three years of dating, but we rarely even raised our voices and always kept things civil. This time, his jaw was clenched and veins were standing out in his neck and forehead. His eyes were wild, and I admit I got this little tingle of attraction that I couldn't explain. I should have felt worried because I'd never seen him so angry, but I still felt totally safe with him.
He calmed himself down pretty quickly, and I thought maybe we'd start sorting things out. But then he looked at me, and it was really sad, combined with some betrayal and a tiny bit of contempt. He'd never looked at me like that before, and suddenly I knew we were NOT okay. I started sobbing again, and he told me he was sleeping in the guest room, and we'd talk more in the morning.
I honestly think I was still in shock and reacting slowly, because before I knew it, my fiancé had collected his pillow and phone charger, and the guest room door was locked. I pounded on the door a bit, and begged him to talk to me, but he ignored me. I eventually went to sleep in our usual bed, wearing his favourite hoodie that smelled like him. In the morning, my fiancé was waiting for me in the kitchen/informal dining area.
He told me that I had broken his trust by hanging out 1-on-1 with guys instead of having him there, and not reporting what was happening in terms of cheating. What really sucks is that he wasn't even a tiny bit wrong. I know that now, and my guilt earlier kinda told me I knew earlier as well. I apologised profusely, saying I would never do anything like that ever again. I asked him what I could do to earn his trust back, and his answer had me flabbergasted. He said I needed to move out, "get my crap together", get some counselling, and build better boundaries. After that, he might be able to trust me again, when he'd seen that I'd made some big changes, but it wasn't an automatic thing, and we might not get back together.
I felt like I was in an alternate universe. I managed to stammer out that I didn't have money for counselling, or enough to pay for food, petrol, and bills, let alone rent. Couldn't I stay here and make it up to him?
He refused, saying I needed to move out on my own and go to counselling. That it would be an important first step in building some proper boundaries. I burst into tears again at this point, and begged him not to break up with me and kick me out, that I loved him and wanted to be with him. He said he loved me too, but it hurt to look at me right now, and he needed space.
It took me a couple of minutes to calm myself down. Once I could talk coherently again, I told him I understood, and wanted to give him that space, but I had nowhere to go. I know there's a worldwide housing crisis, and many fellow Redditors will be familiar with the problem of finding housing. Where I live, it's a common practice to outbid others on rent by simply offering to pay more. Apparently, there's some legislation coming soon to my state to fix that, but it sure ain't here now, and finding affordable housing at short notice is practically impossible. I am also halfway through my exam block (which I've been studying hard for, but still have two exams left), and this was going to be incredibly disruptive to my studies. Honestly, I was trying not to hyperventilate - my fiancé was breaking up with me, I had to move out with zero notice, couldn't think of anywhere to live, I was halfway through super stressful exams for my Masters, and I wouldn't be able to pick up more work shifts with my current study load for at least another week.
My fiancé said he'd organised some short term accommodation for me, and I needed to pack some bags. I was in shock. He walked to the bedroom and pulled out my suitcases as I followed him on autopilot, then we packed almost silently together. It was the most surreal feeling as I watched most of my belongings make their way into my luggage. I realised just how much my fiancé had bought for me over the three years we were together - clothing, shoes, make-up. My phone and laptop had been gifts, as he wanted me to have the best to do well at uni. He'd bought me entire outfits so I could feel beautiful while helping him schmooze at his business parties. My smart watch, that I really only wore at the gym. Some noise cancelling headphones so I could focus on uni assignments and exam prep. He'd even bought me the luggage we were packing in, for a couple of overseas holidays we'd gone on over the years. I managed to sneak his pillow in place of mine, and I was still wearing his hoodie from sleeping in it.
Before I knew it, all my stuff was in the backseat of my little hatchback, and he took one look at me and said he'd drive me to the temporary accommodation. He gently pushed me in the passenger side and did up my seatbelt, then got in the driver's side and started driving. He drove north a few suburbs, getting closer to my university, and pulled into some underground parking for high rise apartment buildings. He parked, we got some of my luggage out, and took the lift without saying a word. I was still trying to process everything, but suddenly realised I was about to lose my perfect fiancé over stupidly keeping my mouth shut when I shouldn't have. I managed to get my arms around him, and clung on like a baby koala and wouldn't let go. I was blubbering that I loved him and would do anything, even wearing all the lingerie he had bought for me. 🫣 He was blushing at that, but managed to push my luggage out of the lift, and then lumbered down the hallway with me clinging on him with both my arms and legs wrapped around him. A family with young children was coming out of their apartment and saw us, watching shocked as I clung to him, blubbering and making wild promises of all the things I would do to him in bed, as he tried to open the door to my temporary accommodation. He got it open, and then the husband of the little family helped him get all the luggage from the lift and inside the door as I continued crying and begging him not to break up with me. He thanked the man, then got the door closed, and waddled with me into the bedroom. We flopped back onto the bed together, and I started kissing his neck and giving the little nibbles he likes on his neck and ears, although the effect was kinda ruined as I'd been crying a lot, and was snotty again at this point. He got me some tissues from the night-stand next to the bed, and I cleaned up, but still had my legs locked around his waist. He managed to disentangle me, then stood up. I was about to grab him again, but his face was kinda cold, and I shrank back, feeling humiliated.
He asked for the engagement ring back, and the waterworks started again as I struggled to get the ring off my finger with shaking hands. I managed it, then threw it at him in a pique of anger. That beautiful diamond and white gold ring hit him in the chest, but he just caught it on the rebound, and it didn't even hurt the heartless man at all. He said he'd text me all the details I'd need for where I'm now staying, and that I should reach out to my work to see if I could get more shifts to make ends meet. I was just getting angry at this point, and told him to get lost. And with that, he left, the door banging shut behind him.
It's mid-afternoon, and so much has gone down in such a short time. The entire course of my life has changed in what amounted to one evening and a morning. Less than 24 hours. I'm sitting on the tiny balcony that this one bedroom apartment has, huddled in my ex-fiancé's hoodie to keep warm from the stiff sea breeze, about ten floors up and looking out at the blue-grey sea. True to his word, he texted me the address of where I'm staying, details on how to pay the rent and bills (he was careful to say twice that I didn't need to pay any rent for the next two weeks due to my studies), details on the included parking space and the code for the parking lot gate. He must have got all this ready during the week leading up the night I'm now referring to as 'Operation Barracuda'. No wonder he was standoffish.
Ugh, I can't start crying again. My eyes hurt, but my heart hurts more. I just completely blew up my life with some lies of omission, and destroyed my ex-fiancé's trust in me. At least I have a counselling session to look forward to. He texted me the details of my first session, which he carefully booked around my uni classes and exams. He said the first dozen sessions are already paid for. He's broken up with me, but still looking after me. Dammit, I'm crying again.
So, Reddit, is it really over with my ex-fiancé? Is there anything I can do to get back together with him, or is it truly over? I know I need to focus on my studies, especially since I'm partway through my exam block, and I need to pick up a lot more work shifts when my vacay starts in mid-June. I have counselling lined up. What else should I be focused on? What pieces of my life do I try and pick up? Do you think there's anything constructive I can do with my ex-fiancé?
TL;DR I had been going out clubbing on girls night about once a month, and it morphed into me sitting on the couch while my friends flirted and made out with guys. I would talk to the 'spare' guy, but absolutely no flirting, kissing or touching. My fiancé found out from another girls bf, who was being cheated on. I had hesitated to tell my fiancé about it, as I had previously felt it wasn't any of my business. I had plans to tell my fiancé, but he found out first, felt I had poor boundaries, then broke up with me and kicked me out with less than a day's notice.

Booked an OS holiday with my then partner. I organised it all, and she paid her half of the airfare. Terms and conditions clearly stated it was a bargain fare and not changeable or refundable.
She ended our relationship and cancelled the trip.
Fortunately, I was able to at least get a voucher for the airfare amount, with an expiry date. It’s unlikely I will use the voucher as I have no travel planned.
She’s now demanding I give her a refund in cash for her amount, even though I clearly explained it was not refundable. I explained to her that there is a voucher sitting there for her, and the airline will not transfer that voucher to her however should she have some travel planned the voucher is there for her to use.
She’s saying this is “punitive behaviour and really disappointing. Ask anyone, and they would agree that a respectful man would just give the money back. This is a low blow. You are being controlling”
I told her to contact the airline if she’s not happy.
I might be the asshole for not reaching into my pocket to cover her loss, even though she knew the terms, and she’s the one who cancelled the trip?
AITA?

I got up late at 11am. I should have went to the church, but I didn’t. The first thing that I did was replying to my friend’s message. I recorded my voice saying доброе утра, which means good morning. It’s the language I’ve been learning these days. It would be 5am in my friend’s time zone. I added “it’s early for you.” She replied yes and “it sounds very natural.” I had tried to repeat after Russians.
I turned the music by De La Soul loud because I wanted to wake up completely. Then I made my breakfast. Ate what I made, washed dishes, cleand my flat, and read some books. Today’s plan is to meet my friend in his city.

Also posted on Paizo forums. Posting on here to possibly be informative and worthy of discussion.
More verbose than intended. Trying to give detailed feedback.
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TLDR: Solid B tier class, possibly A tier for parties that build around him. With a few tweaks it will be a solid class to release.
To the devs, just want to say that this is the best system that I’ve played in nearly 40 years of gaming. I particularly like the commitment to continual balance improvements, such as buffing barbarian in the new core 2, and the annual play tests that have helped keep new classes roughly in line with the power of prior classes.
So, here’s my little bit to help: commentary on a 3 session level 12 Kingmaker dungeon delve using the commander as a gmpc. (I’ve also filled out the playtest surveys as well).
Was originally going to be Octavia, wizard 12, accompanying the party, but changed it to an old warrior they’d rescued from a dictator’s dungeon.
He beseeched the party to let him join them and help to rescue his daughter from a fierce barbarian tribe. (And as I told them it was the commander playtest they said ‘yes’).
I assumed that he’d know all tactics, being a grizzled old veteran.
Feats were: Plant Banner, Adaptive Stratagem, Wave the Flag, Efficient Preparation, Defiant Banner, Rallying Banner, Fortunate Blow.
Armed with composite longbow as I felt he was too squishy and action starved to melee.
Party composition: Meat head fighter paladin rogue, dorn dergar, aims to pump out massive damage and debuff via crit knock down and greater crushing rune. Tactical fighter. Reach sword, open handed, knock down blow, medic and Overwatch dedications. Gunslinger - sniper, dpr, thief stuff and fake out in combat buffing. Phoenix Sorcerer kineticist – primal caster. Timber sentinel when not using slots. Bard kineticist – fortissimo spam plus timber sentinel when not using slots.
Main party of 5 has very solid dpr, being able to pump out disgusting amounts of damage and finishing fights quickly.
During the campaign, 11 other companions have rotated in and out of party slot 6, and now it was the commander’s turn.
Fight 1: Rescue 5 hostages from barbarian tribe. 24 level 8 creatures. 160Xp fight. Commander gave gunslinger extra stride to fly down a cliff he’d suggested the party attack from, tell the 5 hostages they were being rescued and have them enter a bag of holding. Gunslinger then flew back up with the hostages. Sorcerer placed wall of stone to slow barbarians down. Barbarians then tried to climb the 50’ cliff to get to the party, and party tore them apart. Sorcerer used 4 chain lightnings that did a lot of damage. 17 died, 7 ran into a cave in the cliff side, hacking through the wall of stone blocking it off. Commander also good giving gunslinger extra attacks each round with Strike Hard! Tactic.
The party had thought that was the only fight of the day, which was why the sorcerer blew all his rank 6 slots in that fight. However, the commander’s daughter told them of a grim plot to retrieve a magic sword that would allow the barbarian chief to attain immense power. The party had to stop him!
Fight 2: Party had scouted the cave with prying eye and found 3 ninja type women inside. 80Xp fight, plus 7 survivors from last fight making it 127xp difficulty fight.
They were actually 3 level 12 clerics, and party had a hard time with a repulsion spell limiting fighter engagement. The 7 barbarians from the previous fight added some extra pressure. Commander mainly gave gunslinger extra attacks in order to finish the repulsion caster at range quickly, leaving fighters free to wade in and murder the 2 other casters with disrupting stance plus double reaction strikes.
Fight 3: Party found a secret passage and triggered a trap that summoned 3 Derghodaemons. 80Xp fight. Party was trapped by 2 blade barriers whist the daemons attacked at range. Sorcerer dispelled one barrier, letting the fighters go ham. Near the end, gunslinger and a fighter were both confused. Wave the Flag granted them 2 new saves, that they passed, negating the confusion. Nice. Commander also making heavy use of Strike Hard! And Fortunate Blow tactics combo with the gunslinger.
Fight 4: Party came across a gibbed up corpse in front of 2 massive iron statues. Even the meat head fighter figured out they’d likely animate. Commander had prepared Pirahnha Assault. This was handy as the 2 Iron Golems animated. 80Xp fight. The party made short work of them, with the commander negating 12 of the 15 resistance of each golem in turn.
Fight 5: 16 skeletal barbarians, 107xp fight. Commander had nothing to do as the party entered the bag of holding and the gunslinger snuck everybody past the skeletons.
Fight 6: A cleric 13 of Gorum and his 8 skeletal servants. 73*Xp fight. *The cleric spell dc was 7 higher than the party casters, and he was hitting the fighters on 2+ in melee. This guy was not a level 13 creature…
Due to a language issue, party missed out on two free gear upgrades and instead it kicked off. Cleric opened up with striding away and repulsion. His dc was so ludicrous, the casters couldn’t counteract it. He then pelted the party with spells whilst the 8 skeletons blasted the party with long bow fire.
Piranha Assault was very useful here due to cleric and skeletons resisting 10 most damage types. However, once party blasted with a divine wrath, with 3 party members crit failing to save, leaving them sickened 2 and slowed indefinitely, the commander used Form Up! To help the party beat a hasty retreat. Luckily the cleric declined to pursue.
(If he had, the repulsion would be negated and the fighters would have exploded him).
Fight 7: After 20 minutes of puking and healing, the party came back. The cleric no longer had repulsion, and the sorcerer used wall of stone to trap the cleric with the fighters and block the skeletons. Due to piranha Assault, the cleric damage resistance was negated. Cleric was nearly down after two rounds, despite 250+ hp and fast healing 10. Cleric was going to dimension door away when commander had his turn and used Strike Hard on the meat head fighter to crit the cleric and finish him off. The skeletons fell easily after that.
Fight 8: The party came across a possessed barbarian chief, level 15, who’d butchered his own men in a fit of rage. He also had 8 skeletal barbarians helping him out. 133Xp fight. The chief charged in and the party held him at the choke with the corridor. After two rounds the chief had taken over 300 damage, was dying 3. But he didn’t die, and didn’t fall unconscious. His cursed sword wouldn’t let him!
Noting that the chief was confused, blindly attacking himself when nobody else nearby, the commander used Form Up! To help the party retreat until the chief dropped dead of his wounds after ten rounds of super raging. The skeletons were easy to dispatch after that.
So, overall a successful expedition, managed with one day’s worth of resources. General consensus was that the commander was a solid addition to the party. However, would the wizard have been better?
THE GOOD:
Has some very powerful abilities. Piranha Assault, Form up!, Guiding Shot, Wave the Flag coming to mind. Fortunate Blow combo with Strike Hard for the gunslinger was very nice. I think Fortunate Blow might be an S tier feat. A strike combined with a limited true target spell for one action that can be used all day looks very good. Also has Mountaineering and Naval Training to aid greatly with exploration. Very nice utility.
THE BAD:
Some tactics just didn’t see use. Stupefying Raid might have been good in some of the fights, but the commander didn’t prepare it as other more bread and butter tactics available. End It! Looks very powerful, but it helps a winning party win harder. It can’t turn around a losing fight, or at least unlikely to.
Ended up spamming the same few bread and butter tactics as can only change one per fight, and that costs a level 6 feat…
Apart from climbing and swimming tactics, very little utility. Wizard could have prepped a translate and possibly avoided the cleric fight altogether. But, that’s the nature of martials. Maybe he’ll get more utility feats in the final version? To be fair, he’s already more useful than a lot of martials utility wise.
THE UGLY: Utterly bizarre power scaling on feats.
The mount doesn’t get independent until level 10. Why? It’s almost useless for the first nine levels of the commander’s career. He’s either going to pay the feat tax of going beast master or cavalier, or just not bother with it at all.
Plant Banner goes from terrible to meh to bonkers at level 15. Why not a more uniform progression?
Defiant Banner is meh until level 14, then it’s bonkers good. At level 20 a commander can spend one action to give entire party physical resist 17 in his banner aura. Why bother with champion or guardian with limited 22 damage negation at that point?
Class Dedications: As these 2 feats scale with overall class, I can see a wizard grabbing both of these and getting amazing value from one or both of them whilst still having the advantage of being a full caster. I assume that commander dedication will greatly limit number of squad mates affected by commander dedication feats and tactics?
FINAL THOUGHTS: Solid class. Nearly there. Just needs some tweaking IMO. Looking forward to it, and guardian in the new book next year.
Great job devs.

blanket party is a term used in the military where fellow soldiers gang up on you to teach you a a lesson after you made a decision which may put the entire detachment in a bad place
Context: Cadia is blowing up after abadddon lobbed the blackstone fortress into it. Lord Castellan Creed predicted they might lose cadia so he developed a failsafe for survivors to evacuate the planet.
Hellskar is a colonel in charge of the unit which have received orders to evacuate the planet
Daverna is an that inquisitor didn’t allow evacuation n fear of demonic contamination
Are you Hellsker? Are you in charge here?’ ‘Yes, sir, Colonel Hel…’The needle pistol was big in her vision. A long, wicked barrel. ‘Call it off.’ ‘What? Call what off?’ ‘The embarkation. Get on your frekking vox and tell the pilots to come out. This is an illegal operation.’ ‘I’m working under the authority of the Lord Castell–’ ‘I know whose authority you’re working under.’ The woman grabbed her by the flak vest and pulled her close, the needle pistol jamming into her unprotected throat. Her captor was huge, with broad shoulders, and clad in a tailored officer’s coat. ‘Inquisitor Daverna of high command. And I know all about you, Major Hellsker. How Creed favoured you, how he bribed you into this illegal action with a rank elevation. Call the pilots out. Tell them no lift.’ ‘These troopers have fought hard, they deserve–’ ‘These troopers will start developing signs of mutation within a month. Two months, and they’ll be vessels for Neverborn or defecting to the Despoiler. Were you at Tyrok?
After daverna shot an injured soldier, Hellskar decided to pretend she was using her vox to call her men off after it seems they might shoot the inquisitor
“Daverna swung the pistol back to Hellsker. ‘If your people try anything…’ ‘Stay back!’ yelled Hellsker, her hands raised. ‘Inquisitor, I’m going to key my micro-bead and tell them to stay back, all right?’ She slowly, deliberately, changed frequencies to wide-band. ‘Everyone, stay back,’ she warned, then knelt in front of the pistol. ‘Even you, Zadoc, listen up.’ ‘Tell them to send the pilots out.’ ‘Yes, I will. But you should get low, inquisitor.’ ‘What?’“‘It’s dangerous here. Active combat. Archenemy snipers in the zone. You could get hurt. We’ve lost two officers already. It would be a very natural thing to occur.’ ‘What the hells are you talking about? Get the pilots and–’ Talia Daverna’s head exploded. A hotshot round at long range, flashing out from somewhere near the front line. She toppled between the corpses of Pesk and Arun Lek, her body unrecognisable. ‘Plyn?’ ‘Yes, colonel?’ ‘The inquisitor has been killed by a heretic sharpshooter.’ ‘Tragic. Should’ve kept low, sir, like you said.’ ‘Make a sweep for the assassin before you get on the transport, will you? He’s a good shot, might be dangerous.’”
I think this excerpt really shows that Rath did some research into some common things that happen off the books in the army.
Some other examples of this aside from this excerpt are the characters of glave and Selvar Ghent. in my country’s army, we do have characters like ghent especially when we are posted into foreign countries where you didn’t know the local language most times and the good shops that might serve foreign soldiers .I know I bought dental floss and a small listerine mouthwash for about $10 a few days into the forward base exercise to get rid of the sandy taste in my mouth after sleeping out in the field. Glaves story was also relatable as it shows the enthusiasm of every recruit when they first join up or enlist
All in all while the novel wasn’t perfect (might make a post on this to try to get some insights). I thought it was well written and as somebody who used to serve in the army I found the book relatable and can see how Rath tries to make the story as close to real life minus the Sci-fi and chaos parts to real life army parallels to make it more interesting and more human.

I expected to have this posted very soon after my trip, but time got away from me! Even the prospect of writing this out is kind of daunting lol so props to all of you who post your trip reports (and I greedily read every word!). Whenever people say stuff like “this is so long, I don’t expect anyone to read this!” I’m always like “of course I’m going to read every word and love it!” But now I am the one telling you guys, this is very long and I can’t imagine who out there is going to read this lol
Thursday 5/16 - Travel Day
Flew to Naples where my friend lives. Plan was to stay two nights with her before we headed to Orlando for one “girls night” before my solo trip began.
Saturday 5/18 - Travel to Disney!
Left at 6:30am to drive to Orlando. It was her and her two girls (age 11 and 5). We had reservations for one night at Beach Club. We bounded as princesses (Tiana, Ariel, Aurora, Jasmine). We walked to Epcot at 11:30am and that short walk was INCREDIBLE. I can’t believe how close the park is!!! Beach Club is amazing for location alone! Here are the things we ate and experienced:
~~Toasted Pretzel Bread (Germany): 20/10 This was absolutely delicious and over the course of the week I think I ate it like 5-6 times lol
~~Raspberry Radler (Germany): same as above, LOVED
~~Harvested a Pearl (Japan): This was seriously THE BEST experience! We all got them put in necklaces. One of her daughters got a gray/blue pearl and it was gorgeous. Lots of attention when she showed mine bc it looked big and she kept moving it up the sizing plate. I ended up with an 8.5mm pearl! It was very exciting and lots of celebration by the workers and crowd. They said it was the largest of the day. Honestly, I recommend this to ANYONE. It was less expensive than I expected, $29 to harvest the pearl, then I think I spent $23 on a cage for it, and I chose to buy a necklace for it to wear right away and that was $26. I am 100% doing it again in September when I go back for my 40th birthday (and I told my hubby he is doing it too and will love it!)
~~Lemon Drop Shandy (The Citrus Blossom): 7/10 good! nothing exceptional, I liked the radler better
~~Cinnamon Roll Bites (Brunchcot): 6/10, I was so excited for these but they were just average. I think maybe if we had a batch that had more frosting it might have been better. They weren’t bad, just not outstanding. Loved the bacon crumbles though!
~~Guardians of the Galaxy: the only reason this is making it into the notes is bc of my Reliefband. I get motion sickness. I tried Guardians last fall (after 2 dramamine) and still had to sit for about an hour afterward to chill and not be sick. I decided to purchase a Reliefband (classic version, Amazon, $129) to try out this trip and see if it would work. I was very skeptical. But I am here to say it worked 1000000000%. I was so blown away. Absolutely ZERO feelings of motion sickness during or after the ride. Kept my eyes open the whole time (it’s the visual speed that usually gets me, screen rides get me too). I am not a big thrill ride person, so incidentally this time around I realized this isn’t the ride for me. I just don’t enjoy it that much, BUT the big deal is to find out that is my ride preference and has nothing to do with motion sickness. It was so liberating not having my motion sickness control me! Ooooo, also, I was absolutely ecstatic that I got the song I’ve always wanted!! Everybody Wants to Rule the World!
We left Epcot at 4pm and went back to the resort to check in. First of all, it’s so gorgeous there. The room was wonderful, the lobby is beautiful and smells amazing. I wish we had the money to always stay deluxe bc I get why people love deluxe resorts so much!
Dinner at Ale & Compass (Yacht Club): 7/10, again, food was decent but nothing exceptional. Actually the Parker House Rolls were 1000% worth the hype, I got the NY Strip Steak though, asked for medium rare and I think it was more medium and that ruined it a bit for me (also taste was just meh)
We spent about an hour and half swimming at Stormalong Bay after dinner. That pool is seriously incredible. I never want to experience anything but a sand bottom pool again. The. Absolute. Best.
18,525 steps
Sunday 5/19 - Girls Leave and Solo Begins
We checked out and then had a Beaches and Cream reservation at 11:30am. We shared the Bacon Ranch Totchos (7/10 tasty but too much topping for me), Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup (grilled cheese 9/10, tomato soup 6/10), aaaaand the Kitchen Sink Sundae (9/10)! Was it smart for us to get this with only two adult women and two children? Probably not. But boy was it fun and delicious and we put way more of a dent in it than I thought we would lol. A little siren goes off in the restaurant when one is brought to a table and there is a back and forth with kitchen staff and customers (they say something about a “whole can of whipped cream” and customers answer back as a group) and it was a very fun vibe! In fact that is one of the reasons I rate it a 9/10 haha, bc I think there is just too much whipped cream and a lot of the ice cream is just buried.
We swam at Stormalong bay for 2 more hours before they dropped me off at All-Star Movies and they headed home to Naples.
Magic Kingdom (solo)
I got into my room at All-Star Movies (Love Bug building 6) and tbh I didn’t mind its distance to the bus stop, maybe bc it was just me, but I didn’t have a problem with it, I thought the walk was quick enough. I was in Magic Kingdom by 5:30pm.
6pm PeopleMover (walk on) 5 min posted
6:30pm Pirates of the Caribbean (walk on) 10 min posted
6:45pm Thunder Mountain (10 min) 15 min posted
7:10pm Enchanted Tiki Room (10 min) 15 min posted
7:40pm Haunted Mansion (20 min) 20 min posted
8:25pm Got the Sweet and Spicy Chicken Waffle sandwich at Sleepy Hollow: 7/10, the taste was great, I don’t like spicy stuff but this wasn’t too spicy. The only con is that the bottom of the waffle was kind of soggy and I didn’t really eat that part.
8:55pm in spot for HEA
9:40pm Peter Pan’s Flight (25 min) 10 min posted
Spent a lot of time in gift shops and doing photopass on my way out of park
11:10pm On bus back to resort
19,626 steps
Monday 5/20 - Animal Kingdom
6:45am On the bus to AK
7:22am Scanned into the park
7:32am Nav’i River Journey (6 min) 10 min posted
8:05am Kilimanjaro Safari (18 min) 25 min posted, was off the safari at 8:45am
9:05am Pongu Pongu - tried the Pongu Lumpia! I know this snack is controversial, it seemed like it was up my alley, but others have said the same and didn’t end up liking it so I was expecting to ultimately dislike it. I enjoyed it! 8/10 would eat again!
9:15am Gorilla Falls Trek, walked for 20 mins
9:45am It’s Tough to be a Bug - this was my first time, honestly, I think I have read articles and seen so many vlogs calling it startling and scary that I think I was expecting the worst so much that it wasn't….that….bad? I didn’t mind it? (side note: the ONLY time this entire trip that I wore tennis shoes was the morning of Animal Kingdom. My feet were hurting by the time I went into this show, so while it was going on I switched to my flip flops and my feet took a complete 180 degrees. I wore flip flops the rest of the trip and had zero issues with sore feet. I guess I’m just a flip flop girly???)
10:15am Feathered Friends in Flight - was actually heading to 11am Lion King but a CM I passed was announcing to people that the bird show was starting at 10:30 so I decided to detour there. It was great!
11:00am Maharajah Jungle Trek, walked for 20 mins, this was the most beautiful trail for me, absolutely lovely!
11:30am Eight Spoon Cafe - got the BBQ pork MacnCheese, found a spot to sit down by Drinkwallah and that is my go-to spot now. It is shaded and the carved tables and chairs are so pretty. I really like that little (hidden?) sit-down area!
12:00pm Discovery Trails, walked for 10 mins, then looked around shops in Discovery Island and Asia
12:50pm Rafiki’s Planet Watch (5 min) I did not get off the train, at this point I needed a break but I did not want to go back to resort, so I sat on the Wildlife Train and drank lots of water, I went around the circuit twice, got off at 1:30pm
1:45pm Festival of the Lion King, got in line for 2pm show, this was my first time…it BLEW MY MIND, absolutely loooooooved this. So so much. It was wonderful!
3:00pm Dinosaur (5 min) 15 min posted - first time! Honestly, I have heard so many disparaging comments about this ride I expected it to be terrifying, painful and just not fun. Again, I had an opposite experience! I love dinosaur movies (like Jurassic park) so I really enjoyed this one. I hope it is still there to ride when I am back in the fall!
3:30pm Nomad Lounge (added myself to waitlist on app, there was no “wait” got the text pretty much immediately) This was such an important break out of the heat. I spent an hour here to recharge. I drank a lot of water, had a delicious cocktail Lamu Libation 10/10, Ahi Tuna Poke Bowl 8/10, and Churros 10/10. I was able to charge my phone in an outlet at the bar. It was the perfect break!
5:00pm Left AK and headed back to resort
7:20pm Scanned into Hollywood Studios, walked around, looked through gift shops
8:20pm Catalina Eddie’s: got the Toffee and Coconut Blondie to take with me into Fantasmic! You guys…this is an absolute favorite of mine! My friend got it at NYE and forced me to try it (I didn’t want to bc I am not a coconut fan) but I fell in LOVE. Definitely a 20/10. I was so excited to get it again this trip. If you don’t love coconut, I find it very mild, you should definitely give it a shot.
9:00pm Fantasmic!
10:00pm Got on the bus to All-Star Sports instead of Movies bc in the gift shop at my resort the worker had told me I could find the pin I was looking for at the Sports gift shop. It was the 30 yr Anniversary pin of All-Star Resorts. I bought that and walked all the way back to my building, was back by 10:30pm
31,437 steps
Tuesday 5/21 - EPCOT
10:00am Scanned in at Epcot - kind of embarrassing…I was “that person” to hold everyone up. The past two days I did not need a park reservation, so I didn’t even think anything of it, but they told me one was required this day and he was setting one up for me on his ipad but then it kept erroring out, I felt TERRIBLE.
10:25am - Living with the Land (5 min) 5 min posted
10:50am - Nemo and Friends (15 min) 15 min posted
11:15am - Journey of Water walkthrough
11:40am - bought the Spike’s Pollination Exploration Scavenger hunt, it was nice bc it was 30% off with the rest of the F&G merch and I got my 20% discount on it. I mean it was only $10 regular price but I was still pretty happy lol
11:50am - got food!!! Toasted Pretzel Bread and Raspberry Radler (Germany) still 20/10, Frushi (Japan) 8/10, Fruit Punch Ale (America) 8/10 good but I would get the radler over this every time
1:00pm Frozen (40 min) 60 min posted, I got splashed a lot more than normal this time for some reason! Sat next to a girl who was videoing on a go-pro, asked if she was a vlogger but she said no and then we chatted for a min about our love of Disney vlogs, it was nice!
2:10pm Kringla Bakeri - Viking Coffee, 9/10 excellent!
2:30pm The Honey Bee-stro - Liquid Nitro Honey-Mascarpone Cheesecake, 10/10 LOVED, the cheesecake was smooth and creamy (even while “frozen”) and the tart blueberry compote that comes with it is a perfect pairing. Plus I was able to Pixie Dust someone here! There was a young girl in line in front of me by herself, she was maybe 13? Anyway she was trying to scan her magic band for payment and the CM told her the band was not authorized to be used for payment, she seemed a bit surprised and embarrassed and I stepped in and started scanning my magic band. It was honestly only $6.50. She tried to tell me no and that she would go get her mom, but I just overrode her and said “It’s Disney! Let me!” with a smile. We were both at the window to pick up our items together and when she got hers she unexpectedly leaned in and gave me a hug and thanked me again. I was so surprised and heartwarmed (and also felt bad that I was kinda sweaty lol). But anyway it was a wonderful moment!
2:45pm Bought the Spaceship Earth cookie jar that I have been wanting so badly! I got it with my gift card I got for “mothers day” from our pets :D
2:55pm Spaceship Earth (walk on) 5 min posted
4:00pm Bus back to resort for a break and shower bc it was a very hot day!
6:40pm Scanned back into EPCOT
6:45pm Spaceship Earth (walk on) 5 min posted
Walked around to find Spike for scavenger hunt
7:35pm Toasted Pretzel Bread and Raspberry Radler (again! lol)
8:00pm watched Garden Rocks concert
More Spike hunting!
9:00pm Luminous
9:10pm Started heading out of park
This was my toughest day of my whole solo trip for several reasons. 1) I don’t think I did enough sit down things, I was on my feet a ton 2) I was not being “park smart”. Epcot is huge enough in the first place but I was not navigating the park in an efficient way and ended up walking WAY more than I should have. Around 7:30-8pm I started to feel something pulled in my leg (after googling later maybe a mild issue with adductor tendon?) it was high up in my inner thigh, I decided to leave the park only 10 mins after Luminous started bc I really wanted to not push myself, the next day was going to be my Magic Kingdom day and that is my favorite park and would likely be a long day and I just didn’t want to ruin it.
29,183 steps
Wednesday 5/22 - Hollywood Studios (not Magic Kingdom!)
Woke up before 7am and decided to pivot on my plans bc of my leg. I decided to stay in the resort room until midday to rest my leg, and due to that decision I switched my park day from MK to HS. I figured if I was going to be in a park for less hours of the day I would rather sacrifice time in Hollywood Studios than Magic Kingdom. I bought Genie+ and bought an ILL for Rise of the Resistance for 1:40pm. This ended up being THE BEST decision I could have made. By the time I left my room, my leg was feeling 100% better and I did not have any issues with it for the rest of the trip!
1:15pm Scanned into Hollywood Studios
1:30pm Frozen Sing Along - I love this fricken show, I always want to see it every time I go to HS, I could watch it a million times, I am always impressed by the Arendelle Historians bc they are so funny, and while they will make jokes in a similar vein, they still have so much variety that you don’t see the same jokes when you watch shows with different historians. A++, this will always be one of my faves.
2:15pm Rise of the Resistance ILL - full A mode, also…bc I was wearing my Reliefband I was able to keep my eyes open during the drop with the simulation of flying through space. It was great!!!
3:00pm Smuggler's Run (G+) - okaayyyyyy, I have never been on this (due to motion sickness fears) but I decided to take the plunge. I got all the way to sitting in the seat and tbh I was terrified. I was by myself, I didn’t know exactly what to expect and I was not so much scared that I would be sick, I was confident in the Reliefband, but I was worried I would hate the simulated feeling of flying. That kinda freaks me out. So then, the ride doesn’t actually start and they tell us that a CM will be in to let us out bc it has malfunctioned and we will be given a LL back. I was quite literally SO RELIEVED. I will try that ride, but in September when I am with my husband!
3:30pm Woody’s Lunchbox - Adult Lemonade 10/10 and Raspberry Lunchbox Tart 7/10. I ended up getting two more Adult Lemonades throughout the night bc I thought they were delicious!! The tart was fine, it tasted “good” but nothing unique or outstanding.
4:00pm Beauty and the Beast Live
4:35pm Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway (G+)
5:15pm Toy Story Mania (G+)
6:00pm Baseline Taphouse - Charcuterie Board 9/10 and Blood Orange Hard Cider 7/10
6:30pm Frozen Sing Along - I am not kidding about how much I like this show lol
7:10pm Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway (40 mins) 45 min posted
8:20pm Rise of the Resistance (used the anytime pass I got for Smuggler Run going down) this time around we ended up having to walk down a hallway bc there was a technical difficulty with the 2nd pre show (where you enter the craft and get pulled in by the first order) we skipped that part and walked down a hallway straight into the storm trooper room. Everything else worked except for Finn.
8:45pm Ran my ass through Toy Story land (picked up an Adult Lemonade!) and hightailed it to Fantasmic! This ended up being a very good lesson for me. Getting to Fantasmic! just as it was starting was NOT a good idea. I was in the bleachers in the last section at the top, like with the walkway in front of you. You can hardly see anything back there. I will not make this mistake again. I left just as the floats started bc I could not even see them at all.
Browsed a lot of gift shops!
10:20pm Got on bus back to resort
I go back and forth on whether G+ was worth it today. Ultimately, I side on yes bc I didn’t even get to the park until 1pm, got to walk the park a ton, I did the most photopass spots here than I did on any other day, so Genie+ allowing me to just hop on 3 rides with no wait gave me the time to do all of that (and watch Frozen twice and B&B show), and I had the time to wait for Runaway Railway standby again. Also, bc the Smugglers Run malfunction allowed me to use a “LL” on Rise again, that alone made it worth it!
20,264 steps
Thursday 5/23 - Magic Kingdom
Wooooohoooo! My favorite park! I decided to get G+ today and get an ILL for Seven Dwarfs Mine Train for 7:40pm
9:10 Scanned into MK
9:25am Thunder Mountain (walk on) 10 min posted, this ride has never gotten to me in the past (motion sickness) but I was in the second to last cart and that made this ride feel faster and “dippier” and I did not care for it lol
9:40am Westward Ho - Crispy Chicken/egg/pepper jack breakfast biscuit, 9/10 would get again!
9:55am Pirates of the Caribbean (10 min) 15 min posted
10:25am Enchanted Tiki Room (walk on, got there just as they were ushering people in)
10:45am Enchanted Tales with Belle (12 min) 20 min posted
11:20am Little Mermaid (G+)
11:35am Mickey’s Philharmagic (10 min) 15 min posted
12:20 Carousel (15 min) 5 min posted - tbh this one pissed me off lol, bc I would have never gone on it had I realized I would wait 15 mins, 5 mins was a cruel trick haha
12:50pm Winnie the Pooh (G+)
1:05pm it’s a small world (G+)
1:35pm PeopleMover (8 min) 15 min posted
2:05pm Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin (G+) - I didn’t remember thinking this ride was this hard! But after having just done Toy Story Mania the day before, I did not find this one to be as easy to “play”, I prefer Toy Story Mania!
2:20pm Monsters Inc Laugh Floor (17 min) 10 min posted
3:05 Peter Pan’s Flight (G+)
3:25pm Pecos Bills - slugged some water, had a coke (12/10 refreshing!) and nachos (4/10, I did not remember these being so spicy, I mean I don’t like spice so I am probably a wimp saying this but I did not enjoy these bc of the spiciness, will not get again)
4:00pm Stopped in Columbia Harbour house which was not too busy and found an empty table next to an outlet to charge my phone
4:45pm Haunted Mansion (G+)
Walked to First Aid station for Tylenol (headache)
5:20pm Pirates of the Caribbean (G+)
5:50pm Sunshine Tree Terrace - I tried the I Lava You Float, and I was sure it was going to be too sweet even though I have read many people’s reviews who loved it. I LAVA THIS FLOAT! 10/10 very much looking forward to getting again in fall!
6:05 WDW Train (Frontierland) (6 min) 10 min posted - I felt like chilling for a bit again so I did a full circuit and then went on to Fantasyland
7:05 Mickey’s Philharmagic (5 min) 10 min posted
7:35pm Seven Dwarfs Mine Train ILL - felt the same way about this one as BTM earlier, I was in one of the last carts (row 8) and it felt faster and dippier than in the past, no thanks!
8:10pm PeopleMover (20 min) 5 min posted - this should have been a walk on, but the ride went down as I was in line, I kept debating back and forth about leaving the line and coming back, but I just kept sticking it out a few more mins and a few more mins. Some people in line behind me were speculating if someone had puked on the ride bc of the workers going up. Not sure, doesn’t really matter, PeopleMover is the BEST at night!
8:50pm Seven Dwarfs Mine Train (35 min) 35 min posted - Listen, I wasn’t expecting to be on this ride during HEA, I was just trying to hop in line while everyone was waiting for fireworks bc the wait would be shorter, but the fact that I actually got on it in perfect timing to see fireworks?! Let me just say it is just as cool as everyone says it is! Also, they put me in row 8 again, grrrrr, is that the designated solo rider lane?
9:30pm TRON - I tried getting a boarding group at 7am and didn’t get in. So then my plan was to get in at 1pm but I totallyyyyyyy forgot about it and I remembered at 1:55pm and I was like “crap! I guess I will see if I can still buy an ILL”. I was about to do that and then I thought to myself, “maybe I should just see if the VQ is still open?” AND IT WAS! So I literally got a boarding group at 2pm, an hour after the VQ started, I was shocked and thrilled when I got one! Plus TRON is always so gorgeous at night. I actually have yet to ride it in the day lol And LISTEN, I get that most people prefer Guardians to TRON, I really do get it. BUT bc I am not that much of a thrill ride person, I like easier going coasters. I seriously love TRON so much. It is such a horizontal coaster that it’s like my ideal. You get the thrill from it being fast and a little dippy, but nothing crazy. It’s a fave for me!!!
10:30pm Casey’s Corner - French fries and coke, both 10/10 refreshing and needed the pick me up!
10:45pm Main Street Confectionary - It was on my to-do list to get the popcorn mix from here. I chose Butter Popcorn, dark chocolate sauce, pretzel pieces and snickers. 10/10 definitely recommend. Will be getting a mix again in September!
11:10pm Got on bus back to resort
Friday 5/24 - Bonus Day?!
This was supposed to be my travel day back home. My flight was set to leave at 5pm, but in the morning my husband told me about storms in the midwest and I got an email from the airline about “adverse weather conditions”, so I called and changed my flight to the next day at 7am. (It ended up being the right choice bc my original 5pm flight out of MCO was delayed multiple times until it was finally canceled at like 10:30pm) I was thankfully able to book another night at All-Star Movies and could stay in my same room. I quickly formed the plan to go back to Animal Kingdom to see Festival of the Lion King again bc I had enjoyed it so much earlier in the week and then go to EPCOT to finish the final 4 Spikes that I had not located yet for the scavenger hunt!
11:00am Scanned in at Animal Kingdom
11:50am Mr. Kamal’s - got the Chicken Dumplings that were on my list to try but I did not get the chance to on Monday, also went back to my favorite spot by Drinkwallah, the dumplings were like a 6/10. Idk just pretty average for a potsticker that you can get anywhere, I probably would not get them again
12:15pm walked around Dinoland to really soak it in just in case next time I come it is walled off!
1:pm Festival of the Lion King - man, this is just fantastic! Be Prepared is my favorite villain song and I get so pumped when they do that part!
1:50pm Satu’li Canteen - got the wood-grilled chicken protein bowl, with rice and black beans and the creamy herb sauce. Literally OH MY GOD, this was so flipping good! 20/10!!! Best thing I ate hands-down all week. I wasn’t sure I would eat the slaw in the bowl but that was delicious, the creamy herb sauce was amazing and those little boba balls that add the citrus burst?!?! So so good. I have already altered our plans for September to include two meals here so I can get this bowl twice next time lol
2:45pm Took bus back to Resort
5:30pm Scanned in at EPCOT
5:55pm Living with the Land (walkon) 10 min posted
6:15pm Awesome Planet (walkon, went into theater immediately and show started) This was my first time checking this out, I really enjoyed it! I will def watch again especially in the heat of the day when I just need to sit somewhere cool for a bit!
6:45pm Found Spike (1 of 4 left) by the Butterly Landing!
7:00pm Found Spike (2 of 4 left) in France
7:10pm Checked out the Annual Passholder lounge in Restaurant Marrakesh
7:35pm Gran Fiesta Tour (walk on) 5 min posted
7:50pm Found Spike (3 of 4 left) in Mexico
8:00pm Got another Toasted Pretzel Bread and Raspberry Radler from Germany (dont judge! lol)
8:10pm watched Lit at Garden Rocks concert (who doesn’t love “My own worst enemy”!?!?!?)
8:35pm Found final Spike in Japan!!! - this one was my ultimate nemesis. I had searched Japan on Tuesday, I had searched Japan (twice?) earlier on this day and I was all set to give up bc I couldn’t find the Kokedama garden. I just hadn’t looked up the stone path to the left of Japan. Finally saw it when it was dark out and got my final Spike!!!
8:50pm Journey of Water walkthrough (always better at night!)
9:05pm Shoutout to the photopass guy who I stopped by on my way out of the park, those were the most awkward poses I have ever done in front of spaceship earth but you tried your best and the photos make me laugh every time I see them!
29,941 steps
Overall Thoughts
10/10 Amazing Trip. I found out about people going on solo trips here on reddit late last year and I was immediately certain I had to book one. While I can be a very social person, I am also a loner in the fact that I do enjoy spending time in my own company (not everybody does) so I knew a solo trip was right up my alley. It was everything I hoped for and more. I didn’t have to consult anyone else, I could do what I want, when I want. Also, (not to brag….shhhhhh…I’m not bragging I swear) but I am not a complainer. The heat usually doesn’t affect me too much, I have a good amount of endurance so I get tired of course but it takes a lot. I’m pretty unflappable because I’m just happy to BE AT Disney World. Others I’ve gone with are not like this so much lol so it was nice to just be in my own company in the sense that I was always in a positive mood and didn’t have anyone dimming that? If that makes sense?
Safety
I am a petite woman. I am 4’10” and 118lbs so I am very aware of my size in terms of my safety. I can honestly say though that I felt safe throughout the whole trip. The one time that I got off the bus at All-Star Sports at 10pm to go to the gift shop and then walked all the way to Movies, that did worry me a bit but only as I was walking through the parking lot sections.
And I did get the crap scared out of me at the resort due to the requirement of a “visual check”. I had not ever heard of this, but I was in my room for a midday break and I had a knock at my door by housekeeping. I thought it was odd bc I had my “room occupied” sign out the whole time bc I didn’t feel the need for housekeeping, it was just me in the room. I said “no thank you” and they knocked and announced housekeeping again. I said “no thank you” louder. (internally I was thinking, can they not hear me through the door????) and they did it again! I finally went closer to the door and I heard the person mumble something about a “visual check” and I very sternly and loudly said “no!” bc I didn’t know what the heck they were talking about. I peeked through the curtain at my window and watched the guy walk past holding a phone in his hand. I think he was wearing a uniform shirt but I couldn’t totally tell. I decided to call the resort in the event this was someone trying to pose as housekeeping staff. They ended up relieving my fears by telling me it was legitimate. Apparently, you have to have your room checked at some point in your stay (I was staying 5 nights) if you choose not to get housekeeping. He explained this has to do with the Pulse Nightclub shooting. I guess they had stockpiled guns in their hotel room and kept not letting housekeeping in. He explained that is why they do the visual check, for the safety of all resort guests. I was 100% supportive once he told me that and I felt bad for yelling at the guy. But also, I am a solo woman and I had no idea what the hell was going on, and to be completely frank, I had just showered so I was in a tshirt and underwear which made me feel even more vulnerable bc I was not fully dressed! I was not letting that person in my room. The guy on the phone totally understood that and apologized for alarming me. I told him to have the guy come back and do the visual check. I apologized to him when he came in. He was in my room for all of 10 seconds and that was it. But it was certainly a crazy ordeal!
Walking
I was doing 20-30k steps each day and other than hurting my leg on Tuesday I was honestly fine. I had shin splints too but again, they weren’t terrible and by Thursday they were gone. I brought tennis shoes and flip flops intending to switch on and off throughout the week in order to prevent my feet from getting sore but that never happened. I spent 3 hours in the shoes on Monday before my feet started hurting and I never wore them again. I had 2 different pairs of flip flops the whole time. I guess that is what my feet like!
Backpack vs Loungefly
I typically wear a normal size backpack to the parks, but also I can usually share wearing it with my husband. I didn’t really consider how hard it would be to wear a backpack alllllllll day long. And it wasn’t even heavy, I didn’t put much in it at all, but still it wore on my shoulders and made them sore. On Wednesday I ended up getting a Loungefly even though they have never really been my thing. It honestly ended up being perfect. It felt different on my shoulders and I wasn’t getting sore like I was with a regular size backpack.
Waiting in Lines
I have often read that one of the things that bothers solo travelers the most is waiting in lines by themselves bc it’s boring and they have no one to keep them company. I thought I might feel this way too but waiting in lines was not bad at all to me. It’s so easy to be on your phone that whole time. I was looking at my photopass photos, browsing reddit, and inputting trip notes. I felt like waiting in line was not a hardship for me as a solo traveler.
Photopasses
This trip exceeded my expectations with photopasses! The number of photos each photographer took and the variety of positions and magic shots was awesome. I am assuming part of that is because I was solo? I am not sure but I just felt like the quantity and time spent at each photopass location was better than normal. Special shout out to Hollywood Studios, that day in particular was just awesome. Every photographer was awesome, but especially the ones in Galaxy’s Edge. I was having such an amazing time getting them!
Total Photopasses each day:
MK - 6 photopass spots
AK - 2 photopass spots
Epcot - 3 photopass spots
HS - 7 photopass spots
MK - 6 photopass spots
AK and EPCOT - 7 photopass spots
I can’t wait to do it all again in September with my husband!

In an alternate history where Joseph Smith survived and continued to lead the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church), the trajectory of Mormon history diverged dramatically, leading to a series of events that culminated in a dystopian society influenced by both Japanese and German occupation.
Continued Leadership and Doctrinal Development
After narrowly escaping death, Joseph Smith doubled down on his efforts to consolidate power and expand his influence. While he preached a vision of Zion, a utopian society, his actions often contradicted his teachings. Smith's revelations became increasingly erratic, and his authoritarian leadership style led to growing dissent within the church.
Confrontation with Brigham Young and Splintering Factions
Brigham Young, initially one of Smith's loyal followers, grew disillusioned with Smith's leadership. Young's desire for a more militant and isolationist approach clashed with Smith's increasingly autocratic rule. The ideological rift led to a significant confrontation between Smith and Young, resulting in a schism.
Young and his followers, the "Youngites," splintered from the main body of the church, establishing separate settlements. These settlements adopted a more aggressive stance, often engaging in violent confrontations with local populations and federal authorities. The schism exposed the deep flaws within Smith's leadership and the instability of his utopian vision.
Polygamy and Social Structure
Smith's practice of polygamy became more controversial as he continued to marry multiple women, including young girls and already-married women. His actions, justified by his revelations, created significant internal conflict and public outrage. Despite efforts to regulate the practice, polygamy became a source of exploitation and abuse, further undermining Smith's credibility.
In contrast, Young and his followers continued to practice polygamy with even less restraint, leading to increased tension and conflict both within their communities and with outside authorities.
Race and Gender Relations
Smith's later revelations addressed race and gender relations, but his actions often fell short of his teachings. While he declared the equality of all races, racial restrictions persisted within the church. His progressive stance on gender roles also faced resistance, and women continued to struggle for meaningful participation in church leadership.
Young's faction maintained more traditional views on race and gender, contributing to their increasing isolation and the eventual decline of their influence.
War Between Factions
The tension between Smith's followers and the Youngites escalated into open conflict. The struggle for control over key territories in Utah and neighboring regions erupted into a full-scale war. Both factions mobilized their followers, leading to violent skirmishes and battles that devastated communities on both sides.
The internal Mormon war reached its peak in a brutal, decisive battle that saw the annihilation of Young's forces. Nearly a century passes with uneasy peace, However, the victory for Smith's followers was short-lived as a new, external threat emerged.
Invasion by Japanese and German Forces
Amid the chaos of the factional war, Japanese forces, seeking to expand their empire during the height of World War II, saw an opportunity in the fractured and vulnerable Mormon territories. Launching a surprise invasion, the Japanese army quickly overwhelmed the war-weary Mormon factions, bringing the entire region under their control.
Simultaneously, the Eastern half of the United States fell under the control of Nazi Germany. The Germans, having conquered Europe, set their sights on the Americas. By forming a pact with Japan, they divided the United States between them, with the Germans controlling the East and the Japanese the West.
The Japanese occupation was brutal. The invading forces suppressed all resistance with ruthless efficiency, executing leaders from both Mormon factions and imposing harsh martial law. The population was subjected to severe restrictions, forced labor, and cultural reprogramming.
Dystopian Society
Under Japanese rule, the remnants of the Mormon community were forced to adapt to a new, dystopian reality. The occupiers exploited the religious divisions, merging aspects of Smith's and Young's doctrines with elements of Shinto and Bushido to create a syncretic, oppressive state religion. This new religion, characterized by a rigid hierarchy and strict social control, became the foundation of the dystopian society.
Polygamy was strictly regulated by the state, used as a tool to control the population and reward loyalty. Racial equality, once a cornerstone of Smith's vision, was distorted to serve the occupiers' purposes, while gender roles became even more rigidly defined, with women relegated to subservient positions.
Education and independent thought were suppressed, with propaganda promoting the state's version of history and religion. Resistance was met with brutal repression, and the once vibrant and hopeful vision of Zion was replaced by a bleak, authoritarian regime.
German Influence and High Command
In the Eastern half of the United States, the German influence created a society based on Aryan supremacy and strict adherence to Nazi ideology. The German High Command established puppet governments and enforced their racial and social policies with brutal efficiency. The Eastern states became a mirror of occupied Europe, with concentration camps, forced labor, and pervasive surveillance.
Cultural Examples of German Influence
The German occupation brought a wave of cultural changes that deeply impacted the Mormon society in the East. German language and customs were imposed, with all public and private schools teaching in German. Traditional American holidays were replaced with Nazi celebrations, and Mormon religious practices were co-opted to fit the Nazi agenda.
Mormon doctrines were twisted to support Aryan supremacy, with scriptures selectively interpreted to justify racial hierarchy. The concept of "pure blood" became intertwined with religious purity, creating a hybrid ideology that combined the worst aspects of both belief systems.
Art and literature were strictly controlled, with only state-approved works allowed. German propaganda filled the airwaves, extolling the virtues of the Aryan race and the infallibility of the Führer. Monuments to Nazi leaders were erected alongside Mormon temples, symbolizing the forced union of the two ideologies.
International Isolation and Legacy
The dystopian Mormon state remained isolated from the rest of the world, its society a dark combination of religious dogma, military discipline, and authoritarian control. The legacy of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young was twisted beyond recognition, their teachings used to justify the harsh rule of the occupiers.
In the East, the German-controlled states fostered a climate of fear and repression, with a society rigidly divided along racial lines. The once united United States was a land of division and suffering, controlled by two of the most oppressive regimes in history.
The Second Coming of Jesus Christ
In the midst of this dystopian nightmare, a cosmic event occurred that changed everything. One day, a blinding light filled the sky, and a figure descended from the heavens. It was Jesus Christ, returning to Earth.
Jesus walked among the people, witnessing the twisted remnants of his teachings and the horrors inflicted by both the Japanese and German occupiers. He saw the suffering, the oppression, and the corruption that had taken root in the hearts of men.
But instead of bringing peace and redemption, Jesus' return heralded a new era of terror. His teachings, already distorted, were now used to justify even more extreme measures. Jesus demanded absolute obedience and loyalty, enforcing his rule with an iron fist. Those who opposed him were met with swift and brutal punishment.
A New Dark Age
Under Jesus' rule, the dystopian society plunged into an even deeper darkness. Theocratic laws were imposed with ruthless precision. Any dissent was crushed, and the people lived in constant fear of divine retribution. The occupiers, both Japanese and German, found in Jesus a powerful ally who amplified their control and oppression.
The population, once hopeful for salvation, found themselves yearning for the days of Joseph Smith. Smith, with all his flaws and contradictions, seemed almost benevolent in comparison to the tyrannical Jesus. The memories of Smith's teachings, though imperfect, became a source of nostalgia for a time when hope and reform seemed possible.
The Rebellion
In the shadows, a resistance movement began to form. Comprising disillusioned followers of Smith, Young, and other oppressed groups, the rebels sought to overthrow the tyrannical Jesus and his allied occupiers. The resistance was united by a common goal: to restore some semblance of the original vision of Zion, flawed as it was.
The rebellion was marked by fierce battles and acts of sabotage. The people, driven by their longing for a better past, fought with desperation. They reclaimed territories, freed prisoners, and slowly began to turn the tide against the oppressive regime.
Final Confrontation
The final confrontation took place in the heart of the dystopian capital, a city where monuments to Jesus, Japanese, and German rulers stood as symbols of oppression. The rebels, bolstered by their growing numbers and determination, launched an all-out assault.
As the city burned, Jesus himself confronted the leaders of the rebellion. The ensuing battle was epic, with divine power clashing against human will. In the end, the rebels managed to overpower Jesus, his defeat symbolizing the end of an era of tyranny.
A New Beginning
With the fall of Jesus and the withdrawal of Japanese and German forces, the survivors emerged from the ruins to rebuild their shattered society. The memory of Joseph Smith, once marred by his flaws, became a symbol of hope and resilience. His vision of Zion, though never perfect, provided a foundation upon which the people could rebuild.
The new society, born from the ashes of dystopia, embraced the lessons of the past. Equality, justice, and compassion became the guiding principles. The people worked together to create a world where the mistakes of history would not be repeated.
In this alternate history, the return of Jesus brought not peace, but further oppression, revealing the deep flaws in human interpretations of divine will. The eventual rebellion and overthrow of the tyrannical regime marked a new beginning, where the lessons of the past were used to build a better future.

I am not OOP. OOP is u/Constant_Barnacle992
Posted in TrueOffMyChest 2 months ago- https://www.reddit.com/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1caj4og/i_ruined_my_wifes_life/
Update #1 to add more context in same post as first post.
Update #2 in the same post as the first.
Update #3 posted in TrueOffMyChest 5 days ago.
https://www.reddit.com/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1d7eiq1/i_ruined_my_wifes_life_again/
I (m43) try to do my best to provide for my wife (f38) and 2 kids (3,5) as well as my MIL and would like to think I am doing a decent job. Over the years, I worked to improve our family’s living situation, not only did I complete another bachelors and recently masters in a STEM related degree, I at the same time worked 2 full time jobs (while completing my 2nd bachelors) and put my wife through school as well. She completed a degree where she could make good money (~60-70k/yr) in a healthcare field that always has jobs available. But with the birth of our 2 kids, she has since “gave up” on her career to be a SAHM for the time being. At first it was a struggle while I was finishing up my masters. Once I completed it, after our youngest turned 3 my career took a jump up and we are now able to afford our single income household in a more feasible manner. We’re far from rich but do ok for a single income family of 4 (a little north of 150k base+ bonuses). The past year life was overwhelming per my wife, so even though I now work 75% from home, I budgeted to hire a daytime nanny to help her around the house with 1 child while the other is in school now
My day starts everyday around 530-6am. I get the house ready for the day before the nanny comes at 8am, I get our oldest up and ready for school, breakfast made, and plan out my day, bring our oldest to drop off, and be home in time to let the nanny in. My most recent task at work has me grounded for the next 2 months meaning I am now 100% WFH, while this is nice, I am busy in meetings all day as my role manages teams on a global scale as I oversee projects from my industry. For the past 1 ½ months, I realized… my wife as much as she says her life is stressful at home… starts at 10am. I asked my MIL and nanny if this was always the case after a week or so of wfh, and they both responded more or less… sometimes earlier sometimes later. My wife literally wakes up and cooks and then scrolls through her phone or shops from home… which brings me to my gripe.
I am glad I am able to provide her that sort of life since we both grew up lacking in means. I get the possibility of postpartum depression, the stress of having kids, the feeling of being unfulfilled, the fact that I probably am a shitty husband… but for what it’s worth… everything is taken care of and then some.
I manage the houses finances (she claimed she was too busy to do so), pay all the household bills, I pay my own personal bills, I pay her bills, track and perform all the upkeep of our house appliances/cars/pets/etc., and I also “help” pay for my MIL’s medical bills and car note.
…but apparently my life is on easy street compared to hers. I can't decompress to her because it seems like she always feels the need to 1 up me. I had a bad day… but she had it worse cause I’m lucky I got to go away and work… My feet hurt from walking all day during work travel, which is nothing compared to her standing and cooking with a child clinging to her. For the past 2 or so years… I’ve been told I ruined her life, her opportunities, etc… but when I reminded her of what she says, she denies and dodges accountability. My MIL has brought me aside and stated she’s noticed a change in both myself and my wife. I have a greater attachment to my kids and hell… I’ve hugged the dogs and talked to them more about my life than to my wife. I honestly feel like I am in emotional survival mode as I’m one step from moving up the career ladder and one step away from finding love and comfort from the bottom of a whiskey bottle.
I’m sure I’ll be hearing from the manly men of reddit about how I’m simping… but I’m not a machine. I just want to know and feel that someone I prioritize aside from my kids appreciates and loves me for what I do… I’m sure I’ll hear from the stay at home moms of reddit… which is fine. I grew up in a single parent/mother household. It’s not easy… and honestly with the help of her mother and a nanny Mon-Fri, for one toddler while another child is at school… Can you honestly tell me she’s having the typical SAHM experience? Because neither my friends or colleagues who are single parents can say she is. I’m sure the masses of holier than thou redditors will consider this a poorly written fanfic, but it is what it is.
TL;DR Long story short, It feels as if my wife has checked out of our marriage… we’re only roommates where she can still reap the marriage benefits. I’m not asking for her to throw herself at me all the time and let me do whatever I want… I really just want to be told I’m doing good and just offer me some form of emotional comfort as simple as a hug, but I guess as the man who ruined her life, I deserve it.
Update #1 in same post.
*Thank you for the replies. To add more context:

1. Never cheated. I do work in an industry that has a large female population, but I’m literally an open book with work, name colleagues and staff under me, she has access to my work agendas and correspondence if she really wanted to snoop, but on that note she still doesn’t know what exactly I do for a living at this time…
2. We as whole family her parents and mine have tried to get her to go to therapy but she refuses or skirts around the issue.
3. Aside from my coming from a single mother household perse, my biological dad was present in my life. She has had both parents in a reportedly monogamous marriage for over 40 years.
4. I have tried to talk to her about everything and my own feelings but again… 1 upmanship tends to be the trend here.
5. What I am getting out of the marriage was asked… now, aside from my 2 beautiful kids, I’ve been asking myself that same question. We have a near nonexistent sex life mainly since last year. I always figured maybe it’s part of depression or whatever she may be going through… maybe I’m just not attractive enough or just horrible in bed because of my health conditions… I’m not some super model husband but temptation and opportunity does knock and I can perform still but I never give in, because as cliche as it sounds I honestly do love my wife and want to only be with her.
6. I’ll give credit where credit is due as I don’t want to sound biased: when I say she wakes up and cooks she cooks for everyone in the house. Myself, kids, MIL, and even nanny. Aside from breakfast she cooks all meals and snacks. I typically fast until lunch time and our oldest tends to eat a small simple breakfast incase they don’t like what school serves that morning. She does load both the kids and her laundry… but seldomly folds and puts them up. I typically do my own and the rest of my clothes I dry clean because they’re work clothes. She does keep track of our pantry and fridge? But after she makes the list I’m the one who goes out and buys everything if not delivered. She does clean our bathrooms and house 50% of the time, the other 50 is done by either MIL or myself or sometime nanny if she feels like being extra helpful.
7. Prior to nanny, my MIL was the main help for my wife up until she had unexpected medical needs. So I opted to hire a nanny to help them both, more so when MIL is having treatments and recovering.

Update #2 at the top of same post.
UPDATE 06May2024. Not sure if anyone would read this, but thank you for those who have reached out and chit chatted. While I know I’ve kept my newfound friends here updated, I figured I just update my post and keep it short.
I showed my wife my post the following weekend and she read it and all the comments. Long story short, argument, she left our house to stay with her sister, and I’ve been a “single parent” since.
It’s sad to say, aside from the goodnights to our kids it’s all pretty much the same routine.
Nothing much else to say other than thank you for all the kind words of encouragement.
***just need to add, this post got bigger than I expected from a venting post but I’ve responded to a few comments. Nonetheless, thank you for the comments and DMs… and more so for the offers to let me ruin your life ha. It’s been the highlight of my day/night as I sit here drinking with my dog while everyone else is asleep.
It feels depressingly sad that I feel that I have to turn to random internet strangers for some sort of validation in my rant. My apologies in advance as I try to keep this as vague as possible.
Update 3 posted in TrueOffMyChest 5 days ago
https://www.reddit.com/TrueOffMyChest/comments/1d7eiq1/i_ruined_my_wifes_life_again/
**First off, thank you for all the comments and DMs. Some context and clarification since admittingly my post was emotionally charged since I typed it up after another argument. **
Post birth, our kids pediatrician’s office gave my wife those PostPartum Depression screening forms and during the time of both she scored pretty high and was suggested to see a therapist. With our second child she scored significantly higher and we or I should say I made an effort to get her the help she needs. She refused, so entered mother-in-law and nanny for support… I know what people will say/think, but this is one of the reasons I am not 100% ready to just give up and file our life together away.
Also, I know silently suffering in the near and long run of our kids' future will not add to a healthy atmosphere, but neither would a bitter and hate filled divorce. I know some have compared it to the ripping off a bandage, saying it’ll hurt at first but that pain goes away but I’d rather try to spare my kids thinking that their parents ended up hating each other because of them or something along those lines.
I’ve told a few ppl I talk to in DM since my last post, a little more insight on my personal life, prior to my promotion I was a PM managing teams and budgets so out of habit I plan for a lot of “what ifs.”. That being said, I made a number of contingency plans if sadly things went south. So, yes I:
Have talked to a lawyer, 3 actually. Know our rights and what each of us are entitled to. Have a draft settlement created and on hold until I feel I need to use it. I know what I want and am willing to offer more than what is fair for our kids' well being, but also have a plan if we end up going to court.
It’s 100% on me that I’m suffering in silence, but I’m too stubborn to just give up so while I am venting, I don't expect anyone to “feel sorry for me”. I endure it to keep the norm our kids know, ensure my MIL’s treatments go uninterrupted, and of course the hope my wife would finally be open to give therapy a shot and climb together to a better place.
Thank you all again.
I just wanted to update those who have been kind enough to check up via DM and comments. Apologies in advance for the lengthy post. It’s a bit of irony and coincidence that I made a follow up from the update on 06May2024 I made on my original post during men’s mental health awareness month but I could really use another outlet outside of my therapist. My apologies if this isn’t the story book ending/destroying of a relationship people were hoping for…
To save you a read. Wife left. Came back like nothing happened. She made it about her. Nothings changed. I’m continuing to be suffering mentally knowing nothing will change while trying to keep it together for our kids. Lots of take out.
The day after she packed up and left, my wife attempted to come back and take the kids with her to her sister’s. Naturally I was against this and thankfully so was her whole family including said sister. Not only was it not fair to our kids for her to sweep them away into a home that’s not theirs but to put that financial and housing stress on the rest of her family since she doesn’t work and her sister and her family (husband and 3 kids) stays with their dad in the house they grew up in.
After a little over a week of being away, I guess she cooled off so she just decided that it would be fine if she walked in the door with her bags as if she just came back from Target. She came into my office while I was working and angrily stared at me while I sat on a conference call meeting with my team and I couldn't just jump off as this is a busy time of the quarter for us. I guess that didn’t sit well with her because once I took off my headset and closed my laptop she started yelling at me about how much I really don’t care about her and her well being overall. At that moment I couldn't do anything more than look at her and just shake my head. Mother in law came in after hearing my wife yelling and pulled her away, telling her to not bother me, while our nanny kept our youngest away from it all on the other side of the house.
That night after the kids were put to bed, I sat in my office by myself with a drink as I have been doing for the past nights and my wife came in. We talked. We argued. We cried. We drank. One thing led to another and we were in bed. I wish I could say that was our making up but the next sobering morning as we laid there, she went on about how hard it was for her the time she was gone. Literally… it was about her struggles staying at her family house in her old room with her dad and sister’s family. How lucky I am to be able to stay here and do this and that and buy this or do that and not stress as much as they did.
How easy MY and everyone else's in our family lives are compared to hers even though we had similar upbringings…
My mind and heart broke that morning. I’ve been spiraling down since then and this last week I made another attempt to reconcile and talk things out, but I was met with a shouting match while trying to express my current stress and anxieties with life and work in general:
Wife: ”... well do you know how hard this is all for me? You’re supposed to help me be happy.” Me: “So when it comes to my happiness, stress, needs, and overall well being… fk me get over it right? ” Wife: “ We all have our own problems, you need to figure it out and get over them.”
I don't know who the woman I am at home with is but that wasn’t the woman I married and vowed to spend my life with and raise our kids together. Since that conversation, I’ve been noticeably distant with her. I’ve been sleeping in my office or on the couch or with my kids in their bed after putting either one of them to sleep. Still doesn't change her starting her day at 10am… and sitting on her phone talking to her mom groups between cooking meals with the kids in both mother in law and nanny’s care.
Nothing has changed and I doubt that anything will change. Sadly, I think even if we got a divorce, nothing would change or feel different anyway since during my wife’s leaving the days seemed like any other day except with a little more take out than usual. My main fear there isn’t that I wouldn’t just lose my wife, I’d lose my kids in the process.
So I guess it’s sad to say the grand finale to my story with like alot of men and some women I’ve talked to here, I’ll just continue to smile and suffer in silence.
EDIT: Now deleted comment history found by a commenter.
From his comment history
I've been struggling with ED in my later 30's early 40s, for a while I thought I had low testosterone or it was due to my health. I got "healthier" (lost the weight, lowered my blood pressure, got off the meds) and when that didn't work I got consultations from a few urologists and endocrinologist. I did test for low T... so I got on hormone therapy. It somewhat worked... but a few of the urologist highly suspect I have a penile venous leak. After talking to quite a number of experts in the field and looking for alternatives... I actually found a combination of both medication (Trimix) and device that honestly made me harder than in my 20s- early 30s. Even though this combination gets me good to go within 10-15 minutes which is usually focused on foreplay with my wife. For the last of 2021 and early 2022 we were having some of the best sex of our marriage almost daily... then one day after sex she tells me she doesn't feel happy with it because it's "unnatural" that I have to take these steps to just make love to her. She then compared me to her ex in bed... I laid there next to her in silence and just turned away. My brain broke that night.

Intro: You’re in the middle of something pretty damn important when your girlfriend walks in. What does she want this time?
Summary: Speaker asks Listener a question, which leads into a long discussion.
Go ahead and monetize, it's fine. Word count is about 1700.
If you fill this or plan to fill this, please notify me. Please don't make edits without asking first.
Line breaks represent the listener talking or space where no one talks and should be short pauses, words within {brackets} represent the speaker’s tone or sfx. At ellipses, the speaker trails off, and at dashes, she is either cut off abruptly by the listener or by herself.
Author’s Note: So, before another long, emotional note ensues, let me just say: this is why I shouldn’t be allowed to write. This script right here. Back to the subject at hand, though, holy hell! I’ve hit a year! Yup, one year to the day since I posted my first script, and damn, what a journey it’s been. 43 scripts, which doesn’t sound like many but felt it, 198 fills at the time of this posting (so damn close!), a ton of friends made and fun projects worked on, and all of the chaos. I can’t bring myself to regret a second of it. For anyone reading this, thank you! Even if you choose to ignore this script and pass it by, just by reading this, you’ve become one of the people who makes this whole hobby of mine so rewarding. I’m genuinely, sincerely grateful for this little world I’ve found and all the fun I’ve had in it. To celebrate making it to a year, I think I’ll finally start working on some much-requested Part 2s. (Might even get back to Fangs, hopefully?) As always, to anyone who might see this, have a wonderful day, and keep kicking ass at whatever it is you need to do. You got this, buddy! (And now my Writer character, who I brought out in celebration and to EDUCATE y’all unwashed masses, shall go back into her little box until I hit another milestone. Don’t worry, she likes it in there.
​
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If you want to read this somewhere other than Reddit, it's also here.
All right, honey, question for you:
Wha- yes, of course it’s important! Come on, do you really think I’d interrupt your… whatever this is for something less than absolutely crucial?
Well, I’m not. I really need to know your answer.
Right, here we go: Lamia. Smash or pass?
Yes I’m serious! This is necessary. I have to know whether you would bang a snake girl or not.
Don’t ask why, just answer the question.
No, no, I promise, this isn’t some kind of test or relationship trap. Believe me, I know you wouldn’t cheat on me with a lamia. And I’m not gonna judge you for it, I’ll be answering too.
{sigh} We’ve already gone over this. Just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I can’t get women. And at the very least, I have opinions on monsters.
Umm… Nooooo? I… haven’t spent excessive amounts of time contemplating the fuckability of different monster girls? That’s totally not a thing I would do- anyway, let’s just move on. I already asked you the question, I’m going to require an answer.
Uh-uh, no. You don’t get clarifying questions. Personality doesn’t matter, there are no extenuating circumstances. Just smash. Or pass.
Yeaaahhhh, that’s what I thought! Nice.
Oh, yeah, in a heartbeat, smash. I mean, was that even a question? Come on, she can coil you up…
Shush, you, there’s no need to bring that up now. Next question: arachne.
Did you really think I’d stop at one? We’re making a list.
Yes, we must. My apologies about your whatever this is, but it’s now a whatever this was.
Yes, thank you, I was planning that one. Took me a whole ten minutes to come up with it, I think I’m going to be using it a lot.
Yup! We are. Arachne, smash or pass. Remember to consider, she could tie you up…
Really? A pass on that? Your loss, I’m taking the smash.
Oh, I see how it is. You’d rather trap the spider in her own web? Interesting… Okay, so, since we disagreed, I’m putting her in B tier.
Yes, obviously I’m assembling a tier list. Again, was that even a question? I need to soapbox the objectively correct opinions into people, but I want some kind of visual aid to help me do so. Hence, tierlist. I thought I’d get your input because your opinions usually aren’t terrible, even if they’re not always as right as mine.
Shut up and take the compliment, don’t make me regret including you.
Hey! No! No turning this wholesome! We are being horny today, come on. Monster. Girl. Tier. List. Lamia obviously goes in S tier, because of course she does. Arachne in B tier, because I like her and you would like her without the tying up bit, correct?
Fantastic. Next: mermaid.
Really? You would?
I think you’ve been watching too many Disney movies, honey.
…Or reading too many Xanth books, okay. But like… no. She’d smell like dead fish.
Well, I never thought I’d hear the phrase “make the mermaid take a shower.” Congratulations, I think you just invented a new sentence.
You’re gonna want her high tier, aren’t you?
All right, how about this: since she can be made to smell better, she’s not instantly relegated to the bottom tiers, but since her default state is “smells like fish” and in a vacuum - which is how this is supposed to be considered - that’s what you’d be stuck with, she goes in C tier? Sound reasonable?
Hmm… okay, I like the thought, but no, having gills doesn’t mean that she doesn’t need to breathe, only that she can breathe in water. While on land, she’d still require just as much oxygen as a human. Maybe a little more, to support her particular… physiology.
Don’t look at me like that, as far as you know I’m talking about the tail.
Shut it. We’re agreed, mermaid in C. Next one is pretty obvious. Neko, Inu, Kitsune. I’m lumping these together because they’re basically the same, anyway.
Yeah, I figured. They’re just generically bangable, yeah? Couldn’t not go in A tier. Nothing much to say, there. Let’s move on to harpies. I’m gonna say it: smash.
No, no, think about it. She’s got wings, the feathers are gonna be soft, she’s probably pretty athletic from flying around all day, she doesn’t have a beak or anything crazy, I’m not seeing the downside here.
Okay, I’m hearing a lot about birds, but harpies aren’t birds. They’re bird girls. Surely the human half would win out over some of the more… grotesque avian instincts. She’d be clean.
That’s… all right, look, mermaid went in C tier, and that debate was basically the same. C for harpy?
Fantastic, I can live with it also. Maybe we’ll come back, but for now, how about centaur? Now, personally, I’d be willing to try, but I can understand why you might be… somewhat reluctant.
I- ooh, yeah. Either way that goes, it’s not so good for you. I’m guessing you want D tier?
All right, F feels a little excessive. Consider the human half.
Look, I know you’re thinking about it. There’s gotta be some way to make it work, right?
Really? Adamant on that? Well, I’m putting her in D tier anyway. Still not great, but at least I’m willing to try.
Oh, shush, it’s my tier list. You get input when you’re not wrong.
Uh, excuse me, we’ve established that my opinions are the objectively correct ones here. On to dragon girls!
Umm… yes? Dragon in human form, with just a few draconic features. Horns, probably wings, a few patches of scales-
Damn, that was forceful. S tier, then?
I’m gonna have to agree. She’s a dragon. We should all aspire to be Donkey.
I mean, I’m sure there’s a lot of reasons that sums up, I’m just not taking the time to elaborate on them at the moment. “She’s a dragon” is enough for me.
I concur. Now, what haven’t we gone though… Hmm, lamia, arachne, mermaid, neko, inu, kitsune, harpy, centaur, dragon…
Ooh, that’s a good one! Succubus. Well, not sure she exactly counts as a monster girl, but close enough. And all right, since you asked first, I think I’m gonna say pass.
Excuse me, I happen to like my soul where it is. It might be beat-up and dingy, but it’s mine, dammit.
Okay, no, obviously if she didn’t take my soul, automatic S tier. I mean, come on, an actual demon of lust? Hell, yeah- literally! But she probably takes my soul. Most versions of succubi I’ve read about do this thing.
We’re not talking about the books I read, we’re talking about the monster. And look, I assume you like your soul, too?
As I thought. So how about a compromise? Since she’s a conditional smash, B tier?
C is what we went with for the previous compromises, yeah, but come on. I don’t need my soul that badly.
Wonderful! B it is. In the vein of succubus, how about a vampire?
How dare you. Imagine relegating a Dark Lady, Mistress of the Night, all-powerful vampire Queen to “spicy human.”
No, I know you’re not wrong! That’s the worst part!
Look, A tier, that’s my final offer. Take it or leave it.
Good, then.
God, what’s left? I feel like we’ve run through a lot. Oh! We did vampire, we have to do werewolf, yeah? Smash or pass.
As I figured. No matter how the shapeshifting works, she always at least has a human form, and I’d bet quite a lot that headpats and “good girl” carry over.
Well I know I’d like ‘em, whichever form I was in, if that helps.
Hey hey hey, calm down there. We need to finish this list without any werewolf-related distractions, come on.
I told you, I require a visual aid! For soapboxing! So I’ll have to write all this down… later. Eh, I’ll do it later. I probably won’t forget. Now, what other kinds of monster are there? Slime? Have we done slime?
Ah, perfect.
…I’m gonna say no, not an acidic one. I would’ve thought that’d be obvious, but I understand why you felt you had to ask. Nothing melty, just slime.
Really? Still that low? You don’t think it’d feel good at all?
Okay, so it’d be a little messy. Whatever! It couldn’t be that bad to clean up.
…Why do you know that.
No no no, why do you know how hard this situation would be to… sanitize? Inquiring minds want to know. I’m very curious.
All right… but we’re coming back to that later. I will find out what secrets you’re keeping from me about sticky things.
Of course I will. But later. A lot of things, later. So, D tier? You sure?
All right, fair enough. I had some other ideas, but nothing super relevant in that context. In that kind of vein, though… eldritch.
No, no, consider: tentacles.
You’re not considering hard enough. Tentacles.
Keep thinking about it, it’ll grow on you.
I- all right, yes, my mind might collapse into madness, but that’s supposed to happen anyway if it’s good enough, right?
{laughing} All right, all right, kidding! Put that down!
Menacing me with a pillow is rude, I hope you know. So I take it you’re not a fan of insanity?
Yeah… I suppose if you can’t enjoy it, there’s no point.
Really? F tier?
Okay, I can see that. I suppose we needed something in there, anyway. And that’s pretty good, fourteen monsters and only one in F? Sounds pretty objectively correct to me.
This is the only time Princess Bride quotes aren’t applicable, honey. Don’t you dare.
…You said it. You weren’t supposed to say it.
Take it back, I absolutely know what I’m talking about! Do I need to soapbox you first? I’ll harangue if I have to. Are you prepared for that, you unwashed mass, you?
Hey hey hey! That was not the time for a dirty joke, I- ohhhh. Okay. I’ll admit, that’s clever. Never do it again, but it was clever.
Wait, wha- what now?
Uh, lamia and dragon were the only two, I think, why?
Whaddya mean, “make me feel like one of them,” I’m not particularly reptilian?
I- wait, what? I’m not sure I count as S tier…
Wait, how could you- OH-

My name is Audrey 27 M from Mexico. Nerdy latino with medium curly hair whose first language isn't english, but I'm fairly confident in my english skills. I'm looking for something long term and probably a long distance relationship.
Introvert who also works at home and is bad at flirting so I'm trying my luck here.
Indoors type of person. My interests include:
-Books. Almost any kind and my favorite book is Tokio Blues. -Videogames. I love RPGs, survival, crafting, open world, farming, strategy, shooters, coops and almost anything I can get my hands on (FF XIV too and would love to have someone to play with). -Boardgames and tabletop roleplaying (D&D). -Music. If you recommend anything to me I will listen to it and most likely enjoy it a lot. Very versatile in that regard. -Movies and series. Mostly a movie guy who loves romantic comedy and horror. -I like taking walks and chill plans outside of home. -Random hobbies and interests: dancing (anything but mostly salsa and cumbia), cats, anime and manga, history, culture, getting my hair braided, cooking, long drives (not too long though) and small trips.
What I'm looking for:
A cute and sweet relationship. Good night and good morning messages. Talking constantly through the day and sharing our lives and hardships. Being a shoulder to lean on but also the other way around. I have no preferences for looks, I want someone who is genuinely interested in knowing each other.
Tell me a little bit about you!

Intro: You’re in the middle of something pretty damn important when your girlfriend walks in. What does she want this time?
Summary: Speaker asks Listener a question, which leads into a long discussion.
Go ahead and monetize, it's fine. Word count is about 1700.
If you fill this or plan to fill this, please notify me. Please don't make edits without asking first.
Line breaks represent the listener talking or space where no one talks and should be short pauses, words within {brackets} represent the speaker’s tone or sfx. At ellipses, the speaker trails off, and at dashes, she is either cut off abruptly by the listener or by herself.
Author’s Note: So, before another long, emotional note ensues, let me just say: this is why I shouldn’t be allowed to write. This script right here. Back to the subject at hand, though, holy hell! I’ve hit a year! Yup, one year to the day since I posted my first script, and damn, what a journey it’s been. 43 scripts, which doesn’t sound like many but felt it, 198 fills at the time of this posting (so damn close!), a ton of friends made and fun projects worked on, and all of the chaos. I can’t bring myself to regret a second of it. For anyone reading this, thank you! Even if you choose to ignore this script and pass it by, just by reading this, you’ve become one of the people who makes this whole hobby of mine so rewarding. I’m genuinely, sincerely grateful for this little world I’ve found and all the fun I’ve had in it. To celebrate making it to a year, I think I’ll finally start working on some much-requested Part 2s. (Might even get back to Fangs, hopefully?) As always, to anyone who might see this, have a wonderful day, and keep kicking ass at whatever it is you need to do. You got this, buddy! (And now my Writer character, who I brought out in celebration and to EDUCATE y’all unwashed masses, shall go back into her little box until I hit another milestone. Don’t worry, she likes it in there.
If you want to read this somewhere other than Reddit, it's also here.
​
​
All right, honey, question for you:
Wha- yes, of course it’s important! Come on, do you really think I’d interrupt your… whatever this is for something less than absolutely crucial?
Well, I’m not. I really need to know your answer.
Right, here we go: Lamia. Smash or pass?
Yes I’m serious! This is necessary. I have to know whether you would bang a snake girl or not.
Don’t ask why, just answer the question.
No, no, I promise, this isn’t some kind of test or relationship trap. Believe me, I know you wouldn’t cheat on me with a lamia. And I’m not gonna judge you for it, I’ll be answering too.
{sigh} We’ve already gone over this. Just because I’m straight doesn’t mean I can’t get women. And at the very least, I have opinions on monsters.
Umm… Nooooo? I… haven’t spent excessive amounts of time contemplating the fuckability of different monster girls? That’s totally not a thing I would do- anyway, let’s just move on. I already asked you the question, I’m going to require an answer.
Uh-uh, no. You don’t get clarifying questions. Personality doesn’t matter, there are no extenuating circumstances. Just smash. Or pass.
Yeaaahhhh, that’s what I thought! Nice.
Oh, yeah, in a heartbeat, smash. I mean, was that even a question? Come on, she can coil you up…
Shush, you, there’s no need to bring that up now. Next question: arachne.
Did you really think I’d stop at one? We’re making a list.
Yes, we must. My apologies about your whatever this is, but it’s now a whatever this was.
Yes, thank you, I was planning that one. Took me a whole ten minutes to come up with it, I think I’m going to be using it a lot.
Yup! We are. Arachne, smash or pass. Remember to consider, she could tie you up…
Really? A pass on that? Your loss, I’m taking the smash.
Oh, I see how it is. You’d rather trap the spider in her own web? Interesting… Okay, so, since we disagreed, I’m putting her in B tier.
Yes, obviously I’m assembling a tier list. Again, was that even a question? I need to soapbox the objectively correct opinions into people, but I want some kind of visual aid to help me do so. Hence, tierlist. I thought I’d get your input because your opinions usually aren’t terrible, even if they’re not always as right as mine.
Shut up and take the compliment, don’t make me regret including you.
Hey! No! No turning this wholesome! We are being horny today, come on. Monster. Girl. Tier. List. Lamia obviously goes in S tier, because of course she does. Arachne in B tier, because I like her and you would like her without the tying up bit, correct?
Fantastic. Next: mermaid.
Really? You would?
I think you’ve been watching too many Disney movies, honey.
…Or reading too many Xanth books, okay. But like… no. She’d smell like dead fish.
Well, I never thought I’d hear the phrase “make the mermaid take a shower.” Congratulations, I think you just invented a new sentence.
You’re gonna want her high tier, aren’t you?
All right, how about this: since she can be made to smell better, she’s not instantly relegated to the bottom tiers, but since her default state is “smells like fish” and in a vacuum - which is how this is supposed to be considered - that’s what you’d be stuck with, she goes in C tier? Sound reasonable?
Hmm… okay, I like the thought, but no, having gills doesn’t mean that she doesn’t need to breathe, only that she can breathe in water. While on land, she’d still require just as much oxygen as a human. Maybe a little more, to support her particular… physiology.
Don’t look at me like that, as far as you know I’m talking about the tail.
Shut it. We’re agreed, mermaid in C. Next one is pretty obvious. Neko, Inu, Kitsune. I’m lumping these together because they’re basically the same, anyway.
Yeah, I figured. They’re just generically bangable, yeah? Couldn’t not go in A tier. Nothing much to say, there. Let’s move on to harpies. I’m gonna say it: smash.
No, no, think about it. She’s got wings, the feathers are gonna be soft, she’s probably pretty athletic from flying around all day, she doesn’t have a beak or anything crazy, I’m not seeing the downside here.
Okay, I’m hearing a lot about birds, but harpies aren’t birds. They’re bird girls. Surely the human half would win out over some of the more… grotesque avian instincts. She’d be clean.
That’s… all right, look, mermaid went in C tier, and that debate was basically the same. C for harpy?
Fantastic, I can live with it also. Maybe we’ll come back, but for now, how about centaur? Now, personally, I’d be willing to try, but I can understand why you might be… somewhat reluctant.
I- ooh, yeah. Either way that goes, it’s not so good for you. I’m guessing you want D tier?
All right, F feels a little excessive. Consider the human half.
Look, I know you’re thinking about it. There’s gotta be some way to make it work, right?
Really? Adamant on that? Well, I’m putting her in D tier anyway. Still not great, but at least I’m willing to try.
Oh, shush, it’s my tier list. You get input when you’re not wrong.
Uh, excuse me, we’ve established that my opinions are the objectively correct ones here. On to dragon girls!
Umm… yes? Dragon in human form, with just a few draconic features. Horns, probably wings, a few patches of scales-
Damn, that was forceful. S tier, then?
I’m gonna have to agree. She’s a dragon. We should all aspire to be Donkey.
I mean, I’m sure there’s a lot of reasons that sums up, I’m just not taking the time to elaborate on them at the moment. “She’s a dragon” is enough for me.
I concur. Now, what haven’t we gone though… Hmm, lamia, arachne, mermaid, neko, inu, kitsune, harpy, centaur, dragon…
Ooh, that’s a good one! Succubus. Well, not sure she exactly counts as a monster girl, but close enough. And all right, since you asked first, I think I’m gonna say pass.
Excuse me, I happen to like my soul where it is. It might be beat-up and dingy, but it’s mine, dammit.
Okay, no, obviously if she didn’t take my soul, automatic S tier. I mean, come on, an actual demon of lust? Hell, yeah- literally! But she probably takes my soul. Most versions of succubi I’ve read about do this thing.
We’re not talking about the books I read, we’re talking about the monster. And look, I assume you like your soul, too?
As I thought. So how about a compromise? Since she’s a conditional smash, B tier?
C is what we went with for the previous compromises, yeah, but come on. I don’t need my soul that badly.
Wonderful! B it is. In the vein of succubus, how about a vampire?
How dare you. Imagine relegating a Dark Lady, Mistress of the Night, all-powerful vampire Queen to “spicy human.”
No, I know you’re not wrong! That’s the worst part!
Look, A tier, that’s my final offer. Take it or leave it.
Good, then.
God, what’s left? I feel like we’ve run through a lot. Oh! We did vampire, we have to do werewolf, yeah? Smash or pass.
As I figured. No matter how the shapeshifting works, she always at least has a human form, and I’d bet quite a lot that headpats and “good girl” carry over.
Well I know I’d like ‘em, whichever form I was in, if that helps.
Hey hey hey, calm down there. We need to finish this list without any werewolf-related distractions, come on.
I told you, I require a visual aid! For soapboxing! So I’ll have to write all this down… later. Eh, I’ll do it later. I probably won’t forget. Now, what other kinds of monster are there? Slime? Have we done slime?
Ah, perfect.
…I’m gonna say no, not an acidic one. I would’ve thought that’d be obvious, but I understand why you felt you had to ask. Nothing melty, just slime.
Really? Still that low? You don’t think it’d feel good at all?
Okay, so it’d be a little messy. Whatever! It couldn’t be that bad to clean up.
…Why do you know that.
No no no, why do you know how hard this situation would be to… sanitize? Inquiring minds want to know. I’m very curious.
All right… but we’re coming back to that later. I will find out what secrets you’re keeping from me about sticky things.
Of course I will. But later. A lot of things, later. So, D tier? You sure?
All right, fair enough. I had some other ideas, but nothing super relevant in that context. In that kind of vein, though… eldritch.
No, no, consider: tentacles.
You’re not considering hard enough. Tentacles.
Keep thinking about it, it’ll grow on you.
I- all right, yes, my mind might collapse into madness, but that’s supposed to happen anyway if it’s good enough, right?
{laughing} All right, all right, kidding! Put that down!
Menacing me with a pillow is rude, I hope you know. So I take it you’re not a fan of insanity?
Yeah… I suppose if you can’t enjoy it, there’s no point.
Really? F tier?
Okay, I can see that. I suppose we needed something in there, anyway. And that’s pretty good, fourteen monsters and only one in F? Sounds pretty objectively correct to me.
This is the only time Princess Bride quotes aren’t applicable, honey. Don’t you dare.
…You said it. You weren’t supposed to say it.
Take it back, I absolutely know what I’m talking about! Do I need to soapbox you first? I’ll harangue if I have to. Are you prepared for that, you unwashed mass, you?
Hey hey hey! That was not the time for a dirty joke, I- ohhhh. Okay. I’ll admit, that’s clever. Never do it again, but it was clever.
Wait, wha- what now?
Uh, lamia and dragon were the only two, I think, why?
Whaddya mean, “make me feel like one of them,” I’m not particularly reptilian?
I- wait, what? I’m not sure I count as S tier…
Wait, how could you- OH-

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/Popular-Valuable-243. She posted in AmItheAsshole

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. See rule 7. The latest update is 7 days old due to the rules of this sub

Trigger Warnings: sudden parental death; controlling behavior
Mood Spoiler: just tough all around
Original Post: April 6, 2024
Throwaway Account
I (21f) Have an older sister "Eve" (29f) who had her first child, "Lori" (1f) and while this should be a time of joy an excitement there's actually a lot of tension and brewing resentment between her, our mom, and her husband "Jack" (29m). Despite it being unplanned Eve's pregnancy was wanted and Jack was an involved partner. He went to most of Eve's appointments, took the birthing classes, and supported Eve's decision to just have our mom in the room while he wanted outside when she gave birth.
The plan was for our mom to be by Eve's side in the room and to help stay for a week after Lori was born. Everyone was cool with this but unfortunately our aunt got into some drama with her husband in another state and our mom rushed over to be at her sister's side. Eve was already in her 3rd trimester so Jack didn't like the idea of our mom going and voiced it. Our mom tore Jack a new one and Eve even got on his case about it so he apologized. However, Eve ended up going into labor and Jack ultimately was the one in the room while our mom was away.
When she called, our mom expressed being sad over not being there for the birth of her first grandchild and she and Eve decided that no one else in the family would see Lori until she got back. Without discussing it with Jack. He was understandably not happy as his mom lived about 45 minutes away and was looking forward to meeting Lori too as she was the first grandchild on both sides. Eve pulled the "I just gave birth" card and Jack reluctantly allowed it. On the day that our mom was supposed to come back she missed her flight and couldn't get a new one until the following morning. Our mom could've just rented a car but she didn't want to spend the money since the airline wouldn't refund the money.
Jack was brought up allowing his mom to come again, but Eve refused citing that he already agreed. Unfortunately, Jack's mom was in a car accident and passed before ever getting to meet Lori since Eve wouldn't even allow a video chat. Jack was distraught, he moved to the guest bedroom, went to the funeral alone and refuses to engage with Eve at all.
Jack's side of the family keeps calling and messaging Eve to tell her what a selfish and awful person she is and Jack refuses to defend. Eventually, Eve got sick of it and packed up and left to our mom's house to "teach Jack a lesson" but he hasn't texted or called. Our mom thinks that he just needs some space and that he'll call soon but I just laughed at that. Didn't mean to though.
My mom and Eve asked me why I laughed and I tried to brush it off or even leave but they couldn't let me and pressed for answer. Eventually, I told her that while the accident wasn't her fault she did keep Lori away from Jack's mom meeting her for a week and now she never will. There's no way Jack is going to ever love you enough to forgive that and that you should prepare for the worst. Eve started to bawl her eyes out while mom berated me so I left. AITA?
Edit: Just to clarify because I keep seeing this when the accident first happened Eve has apologized three separate times (Jack has admitted to this) and Eve intended to go to the funeral with him but he drove off without her. Jack does interact with Lori it's Eve that he's icing out and my niece is the only thing he's willing to talk to Eve about. Jack had been living in the guest room for 5 months before Eve left. She's offered to go to couple's counseling but Jack has refused.
Relevant Comments:
What was up with your aunt?

OOP: To be fair it wasn't a small thing. My aunt's husband was revealed to be cheating and used her personal information to take out credit cards in her name to pay for his side piece. Plus the potential danger of her own health.

Commenter (downvoted): YTA
You are COMPLETELY right. But you were an AH to mention it. WHY rub it in, and cause drama. YOU should have kept silent, staying out of it would have been the reasonable option.
They needed someone to blame - why offer yourself up for that?

OOP: I tried to brush it off and walk away but they physically stood in front of my way and demanded an answer.

Commenter: If she's still bad mouthing him, she obviously didn't mean it [the apology] with an understanding of what exactly she did wrong. Hope Jake is well supported by his family and can see his daughter soon.

OOP: Eve hasn't bad mouthed him (at least to me) since his mom's accident. But she is frustrated that he's no longer affectionate and doesn't engage with her like before.

Commenter (downvoted): YTA. Sorry, but are you married? A parent? In love? In a relationship? No, then maybe put a cork in it.
Why would you say something like that? It was incredibly vindictive and nasty. She is a new mother going through ish, and you could have been compassionate. Even civil. You laughing at someone's misfortunes, much less your sister, says a lot about your character.
Her husband may never forgive her, but that's not on her. To be honest, it would be hard to forgive you for kicking her when she was down, so there's that.

OOP: Married? No. A parent? No. In love? Yes. In a relationship? Also, yes.
And please read the post again. Lori is now a year old and Jack's mom died when she was less than three weeks old. This has been an ongoing issue with months and I TRIED to not say anything and even walk away in order to be civil but my mom and sister kept pressing me for an answer.

Commenter (part of a longer comment): why didn't Jack just let his mother come anyway? I'm amazed he put up with that bullshit, he sounds like a treasure of a husband and Eve really screwed herself by treating him and his family like that.

OOP: Because it was just supposed to be one week. No one saw this accident coming and Jack didn't want to stress out my sister (who had just even birth). He was trying to respect her wishes and got screwed over because of it.

Commenter: The fact that your sister wouldn’t even allow a FaceTime? That’s some RIDICULOUS PETTY BULLSHIT. She deserves to be a struggling single mom for that choice alone. I wouldn’t blame jack for being the type of coparent who will only coparent thru a phone app. JFC

OOP: Yeah I think her being pregnant made her lose touch with reality and logic a little bit. She's usually understanding and reasonable.

Eve's apologies/Mom's apologies:

OOP: From what she told me it was a "I'm sorry I did x" the first time and then "I'm sorry but I didn't know that y would happen" and then "I'm sorry but we can..."
OOP: My mom did reach out to give her condolences for Jack's mom's passing but I don't know if she apologized for insisting on being the first grandparent to see the baby. Also I know that Eve apologized at least three separate times but it could've been more. I honestly don't know.

OOP is voted NTA
Update Post: June 2, 2024 (almost 2 months later)
Hey!
It's been a couple of weeks and due to people still occasionally asking I thought I'd give a people some quick updates to the situation. Here are the basic bullet points:

• My sister has now been officially diagnosed with Postpartum Depression and that is the trump card/Hail Mary of the situation.
• My sister and her husband are living together again and in couple's therapy.
• My sister is in individual counseling.
• My niece has now been officially introduced to a few members of her paternal size and they all love her.
• Jack's family have ceased their negative comments about my sister but she says that they're still pretty formal and distant towards her. I honestly don't know if she'll ever be in their good graces again and will only put up with her for my BIL and niece's sake.
• My niece's name first and middle is going to be legally changed to whatever Jack wants.
• For the next five years BIL's side of the family is getting priority when it comes to any and all holidays.
• My mom will be on a strict info diet when it comes to the baby. No pictures unless Jack approves.

This is all I know for right now and my mom is NOT happy with any of this and is calling Jack a controlling AH but my sister is holding firm in an effort to save her marriage. She claims that BIL and her are making progress in counseling and I hope for her sake that it's true. It's gonna suck not being able to see my niece as much as I wanted for the next possible few years but compared to never being able to see her at all (like Jack's mom) it is what it is. I know a lot of you may not be happy with this update but it is what it is for now.
Relevant Comments:
OOP's thoughts:

I won't deny that Jack is taking full advantage of Eve's willingness to do whatever it takes to save the marriage, but Jack has never come off as a controlling person in the past (I mean he didn't put up any opposition to Eve's requests/demands since finding out she was pregnant) but Eve has a support system if she feels like it's getting to be too much.
I'm not going to get involved until I suspect violence.
(to a different commenter): I won't deny that Jack is taking advantage of the situation. He's hurt and angry and very resentful. He laid out his terms and Eve is agreeing to them. Plus they're in counseling. It's not ideal but it is what it is.

Commenter: It doesn't read to me that OP is being restricted. OP is free to visit their niece. Jack's family just gets priority for holidays and it seems like OP's family assumed that they would get majority of them (hence "won't see kid as often as I'd like to").

OOP: Yes. It's just the holidays for our side of the family. Right now I could drive up to see my niece so long as a call first.

Commenter: What is the issue with the baby’s name? Was Jack railroaded over that as well?

OOP: From my understanding Eve got pick the first name and Jack got to pick the middle name (from a list of names that Eve had), and my niece took Jack's surname.
(to a different commenter): To appease Jack. He didn't really get much of a say over naming the baby. My sister really played the whole "I'm the one carrying the baby" card.

Commenter: I don't get why your contact with your niece have to be limited? I'm not sure the marriage will last anyway, with these conditions.

OOP: Right now it seems like Eve is just doing whatever she has to do to keep Jack from leaving her as well as getting back on Jack's family's good side.

Commenter: I don't how I feel about this. Changing the baby's name after a year to whatever the husband wants? Priority for holidays for five years? No pictures for your mom unless Jack approves of it? This seems like jumping from the frying pan directly into the fire. If these are the terms set up by Jack in order to "save" the marriage...one, I doubt the marriage counselor knows about these specific ones I mentioned and two, is it even worth saving? Your sister has no autonomy over their child, no autonomy over her schedule, no ability to share a photo with her mother. You have limited contact with your niece. Who really won here other than Jack and his family who might, someday, be nice to your sister?
Yes, your sister was wrong in the original post. Of course she was. But not ONE things on this list can change what happened. Not one. And this parts of this list sound like they could lead to some DV situations in the future on Jack's part. Isolation from support systems is one of those factors.

OOP: Jack's mom suddenly passed away, and she was a loving and sweet person. I wouldn't exactly call it a "win."
Also from what Eve has told me it's not "isolation" so much as strict boundaries. Eve said that these restrictions were only for the baby and that she's able to still have regular contact with whoever she chooses.

Commenter: yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes. what a hard overcorrection.
i can't imagine them ever getting back on the right footing again after this. eve will lose herself with guilt and trying to keep the family together and jack will lose himself in trying to forgive but also punish eve for what he lost. at that point it's not two people in love, it's just two people filled with resentment and "trying to make it work".

OOP: They're going to couple's counseling is all I can respond with. We'll see what happens.

Commenter: OP sounds disgusting too, calling PPD a “card” sister will play. Shame on you, OP.

OOP: I referred to it as a card because of how my sister is using her diagnosis with Jack. She literally said "he can't be angry with me I have PPD."
(in response to someone asking if she really has it): No, it's real and I do believe her because her personality did change the further she got into her pregnancy. It's just the way my sister is using her diagnosis that made me word it the way that I did. She's very "he can't stay angry with me I have PPD" and "he has to forgive me I'm not mentally well."

Commenter: Is the postpartum diagnosis is what made him to be willing to work it out? Not sure how that was connected to what she did.

OOP: I mean, he wasn't open to couple's counseling BEFORE the official diagnosis.

​

This post will repeat weekly through the month of December. Please repost or cross post as a way to promote this subreddit. Or ignore this one and check out our others! I apologize if it's cramping your style, but when I work hard on certain posts I want to be sure they are useful! I also am working on making these shorter so they don't get lost in the madness....
Scroll down for the Character Questions and create a thoughtful and empathetic profile of your main characters for your projects!
As always please use these as sparks to create and feel free to post your responses and ideas in comments or separate post! This is YOUR subreddit so go ahead and post away!
Prompt: Imagine a dystopian world where an oppressive government has successfully erased all forms of personal identity and history. In this society, individuals are assigned generic roles and are forbidden from expressing their unique thoughts, emotions, or experiences. Write a short story or reflective essay exploring the life of a character who discovers a hidden underground community that encourages self-expression and reignites the importance of personal narratives.
In your response, consider the following:

1. Character and World Building:
   • Describe the protagonist's background, their assigned role, and their initial perception of the oppressive world they inhabit.
   • Develop the hidden underground community, including its purpose, structure, and the means through which it safeguards personal stories.
   • Create a contrast between the protagonist's initial world and the underground community, highlighting the impact of personal narratives on shaping identity and resisting oppression.
2. Plot Analysis:
   • Outline the protagonist's journey of discovery, including their initial skepticism, the influential encounters they have within the underground community, and the personal sacrifices they make to preserve their identity.
   • Explore the challenges and conflicts faced by the protagonist, both externally (e.g., encounters with government authorities) and internally (e.g., the struggle to confront their identity).
3. Deep Introspection:
   • Prompt the protagonist to reflect deeply on the uncomfortable subjects that the government's erasure of personal narratives seeks to suppress. These could include topics such as individuality, memory, trauma, and the power of storytelling as a tool for empathy and resistance.
   • Encourage the protagonist to evolve their thoughts and perceptions throughout the narrative, considering the consequences of silence and the potential for personal growth through self-expression and sharing.
4. Requirements for Responses:
   • Conduct research to explore real-world examples of societies that suppress personal narratives or attempt to erase collective memory.
5. Prompt: In a post-apocalyptic world, a devastating pandemic has wiped out most of humanity. The survivors are forced to live in isolated communities, each with its own set of strict rules and customs. Write a short story or reflective essay exploring the life of a character who questions the existing order and embarks on a journey to unite these fragmented communities. Consider the role of unity, diversity, and collaboration in rebuilding a shattered world.
6. Prompt: Set in a future where advanced AI technology has permeated every aspect of society, write a story or reflective essay following a protagonist who begins to question the boundaries between human and machine. Delve into the ethical implications of human-AI relationships, the erosion of human emotions, and the potential consequences of blurring the line between artificial and genuine experiences.
7. Prompt: Imagine a world where climate change and environmental degradation have irreversibly altered the planet. Write a story or reflective essay from the perspective of a character who is part of a group striving to restore balance and heal the damaged Earth. Explore the connections between personal responsibility, collective action, and the intersections of social and environmental justice.
8. Prompt: Transport yourself to a society where strict social hierarchies are based on a person's genetic makeup. Write a short story or reflective essay following a character who challenges this system and advocates for equality and inclusivity. Examine the role of genetic determinism, discrimination, and the power of individual agency in reshaping social structures.
9. Prompt: Imagine a world where art and creativity are considered illegal, seen as tools of subversion and chaos. Write a story or reflective essay from the perspective of an artist who risks everything to defy this oppressive regime and reclaim the power of artistic expression. Analyze the significance of art as a form of resistance, its ability to inspire change, and its impact on personal and societal transformation.

Remember to consider the following for each of the prompts to insure a well rounded and thought out premise that will engage the audience and allow room for growth in the plot.
Prompt 1 - Post-Apocalyptic Community Building:

• Consider the unique customs, rules, and societal structures of each isolated community.
• Explore the protagonist's motivation for questioning the existing order and their vision for uniting the communities.
• Analyze the challenges and conflicts faced in the journey of uniting fragmented communities and the potential benefits and drawbacks of unity.

Prompt 2 - Ethical Implications of AI Technology:

• Reflect on the protagonist's personal experiences and interactions with AI, including the blurring of boundaries between human and machine.
• Explore the ethical dilemmas and consequences of advancing AI technology.
• Analyze the impact of human emotions, genuine experiences, and the potential loss or transformation of human qualities in a society heavily influenced by AI.

Prompt 3 - Environmental Restoration and Social Justice:

• Consider the protagonist's role in the restoration of the damaged Earth and their motivations for taking action.
• Explore the intersections of social justice and the environment, including the disproportionate impacts of climate change on marginalized communities.
• Analyze the challenges of collective action, personal responsibility, and the potential for transformative change in healing the planet and addressing social inequalities.

Prompt 4 - Genetic Hierarchy and Social Change:

• Reflect on the protagonist's experience within the rigid social hierarchy based on genetics.
• Analyze the implications of genetic determinism and discrimination in shaping social structures.
• Explore the role of individual agency, activism, and the potential strategies for challenging and reshaping the genetic-based hierarchy.

Prompt 5 - Artistic Expression as Resistance:

• Consider the protagonist's personal experiences as an artist within an oppressive regime.
• Reflect on the significance of artistic expression as a form of resistance and its power to inspire change and challenge societal norms.
• Analyze the risks, sacrifices, and potential outcomes associated with defying an oppressive regime through art.

1. Chick Lit: Write a chick lit novel or short story following a relatable protagonist navigating the challenges of love, career, and self-discovery. Explore themes of friendship, personal growth, and finding balance in a fast-paced, modern world.
2. Young Readers' Adventure: Imagine a group of young friends who stumble upon a hidden portal to another realm. Write an adventure novel or short story as they embark on a quest to save a magical world from darkness. Delve into themes of friendship, bravery, and the power of imagination.
3. Historical Fiction: Set in a time of significant historical events, write a novel or short story highlighting a lesser-known figure or group of people. Research the historical context meticulously and emphasize the character's resilience, struggles, and contributions during that tumultuous period.
4. Fantasy: Create a fantastical world filled with mythical creatures, magic, and ancient prophecies. Write a novel or short story following a young protagonist who discovers their extraordinary abilities and must navigate a treacherous journey to fulfill their destiny. Explore themes of self-discovery, heroism, and the blurred lines between good and evil.
5. Mystery/Thriller: Write a gripping mystery or thriller novel following a seasoned detective or amateur sleuth investigating a perplexing crime. Develop complex characters, suspenseful plot twists, and an intricate web of clues and red herrings that keep readers guessing until the very end.
6. Science Fiction: Set in a future where technological advancements have transformed society, write a novel or short story exploring the ethical and societal implications of groundbreaking inventions. Examine themes such as artificial intelligence, genetic engineering, or virtual reality and their impact on humanity's future.
7. Romance: Craft a heartwarming romance novel or short story centered around two individuals from different backgrounds or opposing sides. Explore themes of love, forgiveness, and the triumph of the human spirit in the face of adversity.
8. Coming-of-Age: Write a coming-of-age novel or short story following a young protagonist's journey of self-discovery, identity formation, and navigating the complexities of adolescence. Explore themes of friendship, personal growth, and the challenges of transitioning into adulthood.
9. Psychological Thriller: Create a psychological thriller novel or short story that delves into the intricacies of the human mind. Focus on a protagonist who becomes entangled in a web of deception, manipulation, and paranoia. Explore themes of trust, perception, and the blurred lines between reality and illusion.
10. Family Drama: Write a novel or short story exploring the dynamics and complexities within a multi-generational family. Include themes of love, secrets, and conflicts that arise as family members navigate their relationships, face past traumas, and strive for reconciliation.

Considerations for each prompt:

• Genre-specific elements: Ensure your story incorporates the defining characteristics and tropes of the chosen genre, such as the tone, pacing, and narrative conventions.
• Character development: Develop dynamic and relatable characters who undergo significant growth or transformation throughout the story.
• Plot structure: Create a compelling plot that introduces conflict, builds tension, and resolves in a satisfying manner, adhering to the common structure of the chosen genre.
• Themes and messages: Select themes that resonate with the genre and explore them through the characters' experiences and narrative development.
• Reader engagement: Craft a story that captivates the intended audience, keeping them invested in the characters and eager to uncover what happens next.

1. Historical Romance: Write a one-page historical romance set in a lavish ballroom during the Victorian era. Focus on the forbidden love between a spirited debutante and a mysterious gentleman from a different social class.
2. Science Fiction Comedy: Craft a one-page comedic story set in a futuristic space station. Follow the misadventures of a clumsy maintenance technician who unwittingly saves the day against all odds.
3. Paranormal Mystery: Pen a one-page mystery story set in a haunted mansion. Introduce a skeptical paranormal investigator who must solve the mystery of a ghostly apparition that has been terrorizing the inhabitants.
4. Literary Fiction: Write a one-page literary fiction piece centered around a character's contemplation of the fleeting nature of life and the importance of cherishing the present moment.
5. Action Adventure: Craft a one-page action-packed adventure story set in the jungles of an unexplored island. Follow a daring archaeologist's quest for a hidden treasure while battling against treacherous obstacles and rival adventurers.
6. Psychological Drama: Create a one-page psychological drama following the internal struggles of a troubled artist as they grapple with their inner demons and seek redemption.
7. Magical Realism: Write a one-page magical realism story set in a sleepy coastal town. Explore the extraordinary occurrences that happen when an enigmatic mermaid washes ashore and disrupts the mundane lives of the townsfolk.
8. Thriller: Craft a one-page thriller story involving a race against time. Follow a determined protagonist as they try to decipher cryptic clues and prevent a citywide disaster.
9. Fantasy Adventure: Pen a one-page fantasy adventure story set in a whimsical realm. Follow a young hero's quest to retrieve a stolen artifact and restore balance to the land, encountering fantastical creatures and overcoming obstacles along the way.
10. Historical Fiction Mystery: Write a one-page historical fiction mystery set during the Roaring Twenties. Follow a quick-witted detective as they unravel a web of deceit and intrigue surrounding a glamorous underground speakeasy in the heart of the city.

Considerations for each prompt:

• Engaging Beginning: Choose a compelling starting point that grabs the reader's attention and hooks them into the story from the very first sentence.
• Concise Plot: Craft a tightly woven plot that can be fully developed within one page, with an introduction, rising action, climax, and resolution.
• Strong Characterization: Develop distinct and memorable characters, even within the limited space, by providing key details that bring them to life and make them relatable to the reader.
• Descriptive Language: Use vivid and sensory language to paint a clear picture of the setting, engage the reader's imagination, and create an immersive reading experience.
• Resolution or Twist: Provide a satisfying resolution to the story or introduce an unexpected twist that leaves the reader intrigued and wanting more.

Protagonist Character Profile:

1. Name:
2. Age:
3. Gender:
4. Physical appearance:
5. Background:
6. Personality traits (list at least five):
7. Core values and beliefs:
8. Motivations and goals:
9. Biggest fear:
10. Internal conflicts:
11. External conflicts:
12. Strengths:
13. Weaknesses:
14. Childhood experiences and their impact:
15. Education and professional background:
16. Relationship status and dynamics:
17. Quirks or peculiar habits:
18. Psychological disorders, if any:
19. Familial relationships and dynamics:
20. Support system (friends, mentors, etc.):
21. Traumatic experiences and their effects:
22. Coping mechanisms:
23. Emotional vulnerabilities:
24. Resilience and determination:
25. Personal growth throughout the story:

Protagonist Character Questions:

1. What drives the protagonist to take action and pursue their goals?
2. How does the protagonist's childhood shape their behaviors and choices?
3. What values does the protagonist hold dear, and how do they influence their decision-making process?
4. What inner conflicts does the protagonist face, and how do they attempt to reconcile them?
5. How does the protagonist's education and professional background contribute to their strengths and weaknesses?
6. What traumatic experiences has the protagonist overcome, and how have these experiences shaped their worldview?
7. How does the protagonist cope with stress or adversity?
8. What relationships and dynamics are most significant to the protagonist, and how do these relationships evolve throughout the story?
9. In what ways does the protagonist exhibit resilience and determination in the face of challenges?
10. How does the protagonist approach personal growth and self-improvement?
11. What psychological disorders, if any, does the protagonist struggle with, and how do these disorders impact their thoughts and actions?
12. How does the protagonist's physical appearance contribute to their self-perception and interactions with others?
13. What unique quirks or habits does the protagonist possess that make them stand out?
14. What are the protagonist's primary desires and aspirations?
15. How does the protagonist's internalized fear drive or hinder their actions?
16. How does the protagonist navigate and resolve external conflicts?
17. What coping mechanisms does the protagonist rely on during times of stress or emotional turmoil?
18. How do familial relationships and dynamics influence the protagonist's actions and decisions?
19. What significant life choices or dilemmas does the protagonist face throughout the story, and how do they respond?
20. In what ways does the protagonist's support system impact their growth and resilience?
21. How does the protagonist's personal development and self-discovery contribute to the overall narrative arc?
22. How does the protagonist's background and experiences shape their perception of the world?
23. What are the protagonist's core beliefs and values, and how do these impact their interactions with others?
24. How does the protagonist handle setbacks or failures, and what lessons do they learn from these experiences?
25. What external influences or societal pressures affect the protagonist's decision-making process?

Antagonist Character Profile:

1. Name:
2. Age:
3. Gender:
4. Physical appearance:
5. Background:
6. Personality traits (list at least five):
7. Core values and beliefs:
8. Motivations and goals:
9. Biggest fear:
10. Internal conflicts:
11. External conflicts:
12. Strengths:
13. Weaknesses:
14. Childhood experiences and their impact $ Go on

1. Education and professional background: 16. Relationship status and dynamics: 17. Quirks or peculiar habits: 18. Psychological disorders, if any: 19. Familial relationships and dynamics: 20. Support system (friends, mentors, etc.): 21. Traumatic experiences and their effects: 22. Coping mechanisms: 23. Emotional vulnerabilities: 24. Strategies for achieving their goals: 25. Methods they employ to antagonize the protagonist:

Antagonist Character Questions:

1. What drives the antagonist to oppose the protagonist and act as an obstacle in their journey?
2. How does the antagonist's background and upbringing contribute to their negative behaviors and motivations?
3. What core values and beliefs does the antagonist hold that align with their antagonistic actions?
4. What personal goals or desires does the antagonist seek to fulfill?
5. What is the biggest fear or insecurity that drives the antagonist's actions?
6. How does the antagonist's internal conflicts manifest and impact their decisions?
7. What external conflicts arise as a result of the antagonist's actions, and how do they handle these conflicts?
8. In what ways does the antagonist exhibit strength and power, and how do these traits affect their interactions with others?
9. What are the antagonist's weaknesses or vulnerabilities that can be exploited by the protagonist?
10. How have childhood experiences shaped the antagonist's worldview and motivations?
11. How does the antagonist's education and professional background contribute to their methods and strategies?
12. What familial relationships or dynamics influence the antagonist's actions and choices?
13. What unique quirks or habits does the antagonist possess that make them distinct or memorable?
14. Are there any psychological disorders or conditions that contribute to the antagonist's behavior?
15. How does the antagonist cope with stress or emotional turmoil?
16. What strategies or tactics does the antagonist employ to achieve their goals and antagonize the protagonist?
17. How do the antagonist's actions impact their relationships and interactions with other characters in the story?

18.How does the antagonist perceive and justify their actions, even if they are considered morally or ethically wrong?

1. What external influences or societal pressures contribute to the antagonist's motivations or actions?
   
2. How does the antagonist's physical appearance contribute to their demeanor and portrayal in the story?
   
3. What significant life choices or dilemmas has the antagonist faced, and how have these shaped their character?
   
4. What is the antagonist's reaction to setbacks or failures, and how do they adapt their strategies?
   
5. How does the antagonist's support system or lack thereof impact their actions and decisions?
   
6. What past traumatic experiences or events have influenced the antagonist's worldview and behaviors?
   
7. How does the antagonist's emotional state or emotional vulnerabilities influence their actions and interactions with others?
   

I’m DESPERATE for help. I’ve posted to both the UK MH sub and the DV sub - and both have simply removed my posts. This is very long, very rambling, very surreal, and contains mentions of r*pe, so please be aware if you’ll find that triggering.
Both my parents are narcissists, but this concerns my mother (though I have no relationship with my father, either). My MINO (mother in name only) has sabotaged my life at every turn, whatever I’ve tried to do she’s destroyed. It didn’t help that I didn’t attend a conventional school (it had nuns - of the Irish Catholic ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ variety). She absolutely HATED me me being good at anything; I could read and write before I started in reception - but the head put the idea into her head that I was dyslexic (she hated me for some reason, she called me ‘satanic’ and ‘the devil’s daughter’). I finished the school reading scheme, such as it was, before I’d been in Reception a half-term, my classmates always used to ask me how to spell words, etc., basically I found pre-prep incredibly boring, because I was so far ahead of my peers (that sounds really arrogant and conceited, doesn’t it…?), so I used to take myself off and do my own thing. MINO arranged for me to have extra lessons in literacy which, obviously, I never went to (because I didn’t need them). They were taught by Sister Mary Candida, who taught nursery (and once LOCKED me in a cupboard).
So determined was I to get out of her stupid lessons that I came up with a plan; I had a book I was reading at home (I forget what it was now, but that’s not really relevant). It had my name and an address label inside the front cover and I thought that, if I took it to school and showed it to her, she would demand I read to her from it and that would be that. Of course that didn’t happen.
So I took my book into school and I showed it to her. The resulting conversation went something like this:
SMC: “Did you find that…? Give it to me and I’ll find out who it belongs to:
Me: “No, Sister, it’s mine. I’m reading it at home”
SMC: “Don’t be silly, that’s a grown-up book” (it wasn’t really, but far more advanced than what your average 5-year-old would be reading) Me: “I’m not being silly, it’s my book - look it has my name in it”
She obviously decided that I’d written my name in someone else’s book, because she whacked my hands with her ruler (standard nun-issue weapon) and I was forced to write ‘little girls who tell lies will burn in hell’ 1,000 times (yes, really)
She gave the book to Sister Kevin (head) who called my mother; MINO denied ever seeing me with the book (she LIED to a nun). MINO then arranged for me to have lessons with s SaLT from the Dyslexia Institute - they obviously ‘loved’ me because they were spending all this extra money on me.
Again, I went twice and then stopped turning up. I took my book and went and hid behind the pre-prep where I thought nobody would find me. The deputy head did (she wasn’t a nun, but she might as well have been). My mother was obviously called into school again.
That night, they removed all the furniture from my room - including the carpet tiles (under which there was concrete) and as punishment for wasting their money, I was forced to sleep on the bare floor (if you were to ask MINO about this, she would deny it ever happened). I used to write a kind of diary/journal - she found it, and I was forced to watch as she ripped out the pages and BURNT them.
I spent my entire childhood being dragged round child shrinks - she even considered having me enrolled in a residential school.
I wanted to die aged 5. I tried to kill myself aged 6.
She sent me to Sunday school (they rarely attended church) where I was r*ped by the curate. I do remember one incident where she literally frogmarched me up to the altar to get her some flowers one Mothering Sunday. I also remember her taking me to WHSmith’s and choosing a mother’s day card, making me pay for it out of my pocket money, then dictating to me what I should write in it when we got home.
I left school at 16 with no GCSEs I desperately tried to leave, but my parents live in a small town with not much in the way of public transport (and, obviously, I had very little money).
She has ensured that I’m completely dysfunctional.
Because I was so desperate to get away, I made the mistake which has led to the situation I now find myself in. I moved in with someone I met on a forum; he seemed charming enough - but what really attracted me to him was the fact that he lived at the other end of the country. In his forum bio he said he was a “former alcoholic” and divorced. If I’d had my wits about me and wasn’t so desperate to get away from my PINO (parents in name only) that should’ve been a massive red flag but, obviously, I wasn’t thinking straight.
He lived in the middle of the arse-end of nowhere in County Durham (and I mean that, where he lived was just a row of houses surrounded by fields). It was okay for a while, then he became controlling. Then violent. Obviously the “former alcoholic” was a lie - he was drinking at least a bottle of gin a night. I wasn’t allowed to use the computer, unless he was there to supervise. He took my phone and chucked it over the wall into the adjacent field where it was promptly trampled to bits by cows. He worked for BT as an engineer, so it was trivially easy for him to bug the landline (he used to explain the delay in call connection by the fact we were so remote). He r*ped me. More than once. He controlled what I ate - and when. He changed the locks on the front and back doors, and refused to give me the keys. He forced me to pay my benefits into a joint account. I wasn’t allowed to leave the house unless he was with me.
I attempted to escape; he’d made the mistake of giving me a credit card and I thought that, if I could just get a bus into Darlington I’d be able to get a train - and I’d be free (of course I had no fucking idea where I was going to go). He got absolutely shit-faced one evening and passed out on the sofa. I found the front door key in his pocket, packed up what I could, and left. I had about 8 hours to wait out before the bus arrived. Thankfully, it was June so it was warm.
Unfortunately, he woke up and went looking for me; he found me and dragged me back. He then decided he’d had enough of me, downed most of a bottle of rum, forced me into his van and locked the doors. Once we got onto the A1(M) he floored it, I can’t remember where he decided to dump me - somewhere in the Midlands, I have a feeling it was either Stoke or Stafford. I do remember he was doing around 100 - I honestly thought he was going to kill me.
I didn’t know wherever-it-was, anyway. So there I was, with no phone, obviously I was a complete mess and, even though it was the last place I wanted to go, I had no choice but to return to my parents.
As you can imagine, I had a complete breakdown, which mutated into PTSD. I was trapped; obviously, they weren’t going to do anything to help me and there was nothing I could do to help myself - at least not while they were in the house (because, obviously, I couldn’t use their landline while they were there).
Eventually, they fucked off on holiday for a fortnight, so I took the opportunity to attempt to escape; because I’d escaped a violent relationship, I called Women’s Aid, thinking I’d be able to get myself into a refuge at least.
(This next bit won’t mean anything to anyone outside the UK/Ireland, and I’m really posting here because I need help from people in the UK)
What actually happened was they contacted social services and I had two social workers at the door. They made assumptions that, because I was basically living in a dump (for reasons I would hope were obvious) and that I was basically stuck in bed, that I didn’t understand the health risks of living in such a state - NOT because I’d escaped a violent relationship and had a complete breakdown.
I was sectioned. Spent almost 18 months in an ATU (assessment and treatment unit). From there, I was moved to a care home for people with learning disabilities and complex needs about 100 miles away. It was only when I was there - and quite by chance - that I learnt that I was now being held hostage by the Court of Protection under the Mental Capacity Act and DoLS (denial of liberty safeguarding).
My detention under both is unlawful because, in order for the court orders to be valid, the person to whom they’re being applied has to have undergone an assessment and, had I undergone assessment, I’d have known I was detained. I do not lack capacity.
I was there for another 18 months, where I had to contend with another resident constantly slamming his bedroom door (staff were meant to be posted outside his room to prevent him doing so, but he was extremely obese, prone to violent outbursts and they were scared of him, so there was rarely anyone there).
I was then moved to a poky little flat back in my parents’ home county; the flat was up a steep flight of stairs and I was struggling with my mobility. Due to the court orders, I am essentially gagged and nobody has to take a blind bit of notice of anything I say. When I bought food, I had to struggle with it up four flights of very steep stairs myself. Eventually the flat manager told staff to bring it up and I’d put it away. Then I had to contend with the flat manager binning it less than 2 days after I’d bought it, claiming it was all out of date. So, eventually, I just stopped eating. If I left the flat, she would ‘stalk’ me, following me about 10 paces behind.
I managed to escape from there early one morning, after lying to her manager that I needed to take my MBP to the Apple Store. I got on the first bus to the nearest station, and got on the first train and ended up in Birmingham. I then got the next train out of there and ended up where I am now. I spent 3 months in hospital (where I couldn’t get taken seriously so I am now severely chronically ill), where I saw 2 psychiatrists who stated that I was completely lucid, that I didn’t have any mental illness (how they couldn’t see how traumatised I was, I’ve no idea) and that I wasn’t suicidal. I was then dumped where I am now - and this is by far the worst place I’ve been - and this is what prompted this post because I need help, it’s not hyperbole to say my life is in danger.
I am trapped - both legally and physically. This is WORSE than being in a violent relationship because I can’t escape; if I was to do so, the police would simply bring me back here.
Staff control my food. Just like my ex
Staff have taken my phone. Just like my ex
Staff are physically abusive if I don’t do what they want, when they want. Just like my ex.
Staff have full control over my finances. Just like my ex.
Staff control who I see - and when. Just like my ex.
Staff won’t allow me to keep the flat front door locked, just as my ex changed the locks on the front door of his house - and refused me a key - so he always had access.
Staff control my internet access. Just like my ex (they have removed the router from the flat, so they can now cut me off whenever they feel like it, this is a connection that I am paying for, but they control my finances, so they can claim they are)
Staff open my post. Just like my ex
There is an alarm on the front door of the flat (100dB, which is well above the threshold which damages hearing), so I am literally trapped. I can’t leave. I have been informed by staff that they are legally allowed to enter the flat at any time and for any length of time. They have told me that this is “written down”, but that they “don’t have to show it” to me. I am now severely chronically ill, due to the abuse, the stress and the fact that I am being denied anything remotely resembling proper meals (a ‘meal’ often amounts to nothing more than cheap processed meat dumped on a - very often paper - plate).
The door alarm (cheap Chinese junk, you can buy a pack of 10 for around £12). I have severe tinnitus and hyperacusis (pathological hypersensitivity to noise).
Link to photo of the door alarm - I have removed several of these, but they keep replacing them