When should i start my period after prometrium

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, Earth

2008.03.28 20:26 Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, Earth

Your go-to for everything happening in Metro Vancouver: news, people, places, events, articles, and discussions. Where the ocean meets the mountains, from the sea to sky.
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2014.03.12 12:36 CrayonsForBrains Corrupting children's coloring books.

Get some crayons and a coloring book to turn adorable pictures into twisted and or hilarious corruptions of their former selves.
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2012.02.22 05:31 DominicDom /r/ExposurePorn - Long Exposure Photography

/ExposurePorn is a Safe For Work subreddit in the Safe For Work (SFW) Porn Network. The main focus of /ExposurePorn is to feature photographs that use the long exposure technique at night or during the day to capture stars, the milky way, movements, lights and much more! Great place to find astrophotography, HDR, long-exposures, light photography, and night photography!
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2024.06.10 02:49 NubianNarrator On and off again affair

So, I have been having an on and off again affair with my female bestie since last August. For context, I am poly and at the time had a 'primary' partner and so did she. A man. Anyway, we discussed having a romantic relationship a month before anything sexual occurred. She told me she had spoken to her bf about it and was shocked that he disapproved. The reason why she was stunned is because in the past (she is mixed and he is white) she had expressed her desire to want to have an intimate relationship with a black woman.
So when she brought it up and he angrily shut it down she was confused. It wasn't until a few weeks later when he 'forbade' her from seeing me alone in which his reasoning began to shine through. I am XX intersex and have been a tomboy all my life. He confessed he had always assumed she would pick a 'feminine' presenting black woman and found me to be a threat to their relationship. He also confided in her that his first marriage ended because his Brazilian wife cheated on him with masculine woman and then left him for her. Anyway we never stopped seeing one another and shortly after he forbade her we started having sex....alot. one of the main reasons I engaged in the act was because she assured me he just needed time to process and that he will soon come around to the idea. So cut to 2024 January and they go on a working holiday to Brazil.
She stayed with me for 2 night before they left and we had sex constantly day and night. Once she got to Brazil we argued pretty much all the time (I admit most of it was my fault) anyway when she came home a month later she just wanted to be best friends again. So reluctantly I agreed. We ended up having sexual contact a few times since then but not full blown sex. My bestie has a lot of childhood sexual trauma and because of this she goes through prolonged periods of being A-sexual.
She expressed that she is in one of those periods and isn't having sex with the bf either. Over the past 3/4 months we have had some intense arguments and discussions. She constantly tells me that 'our love' transcends sex. I understand that. But I am increasingly bitter as he has still not budged on the poly thing. He has absolutely no idea she was cheating on him and while I don't feel any guilt I do feel as if she played me.
That is her bf she should have known he would never agree. I trusted her when she told me it's okay and will be fine because he will get over it and agree in a few months. Now that she has realised he will never accept it because I'm not a femme (he admitted he had hoped for a 3sum) if she dated a femme, I can't help but feel as if I was an experiment for her.
Now I don't want anyone getting it twisted. She is an amazing woman. It is truly an honour to know her but I have recently decided to put up my own boundaries and she is not reacting well. I'm my eyes it's as if she returned from Brazil a different person.
We have a whatapp chat history that is very intense and intimate. Cut a long story short she keeps getting kicked from whatapp because of storage issues and my whatsapp got corrupted. I managed to export all the chat and have it as a pdf file. I emailed her a copy and said I am going to delete it from my backup and start fresh. This enraged her as 'the chat contains our sacred poetry', đŸ™„đŸ˜đŸ€” I told her I no longer wish to have any reminders of last year. The entire chat history needs to fall to Satan's throne in my eyes.
As platonic best friends we do everything but have sex. I can admit I have given her head a few times with the last incident about 5 weeks ago. I also talked her out of leaving him for me several times last year because I trusted her when she said he would get over it.
We had a huge fight today and I told her I am done and jumping off this crazy 🚆 we are both autistic, have ADHD Synesthesia and come from households where violence was normalised.
The argument we had today was basically about me telling her I have a job interview for a position in Korea on Tuesday. I admitted I only applied to put an ocean between us and she was deeply upset.
My question is - am I wrong for being annoyed that we are basically in a relationship without the sex?
She sees me more than her bf (who by the way had no idea) she stayed at my house for a week once and had sex all the time. They don't live together.
Am I being entitled? Personally I am conflicted because we do everything but have sex. I told her today I am struggling to see how we can continue to be platonic friends.
I regret advising her not to leave him last year. But with the same thought I am glad because I love her as a bestie first and I truly did tell her to stay with him from an unbiased position.
She is coming over tomorrow to talk and I just don't know what to say anymore. One of the main reasons we started messing around is that we both craved intimacy with a black woman.
I don't see how our relationship can withstand this. I feel like shit because I am practically ending our best friend relationship and i am bitter about it.
submitted by NubianNarrator to BurbNBougie [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 02:45 H-Barbara Unofficial Transcript of SaucerSwap AMA 2024 June 08

https://www.saucerswap.finance/ [6th AMA of 2024]
Pine_apple
Thank you all for joining our monthly AMA today. Next week is Father's Day here in the United States. So happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. ABFT is co-hosting today and we have two awesome guests in the house, Brady and Gaurang. Both are co-founders of Bonzo Finance, an open source, non custodial lending and borrowing protocol built on the Hedera network. So welcome to our AMA, Brady and Gaurang.
Brady (Bonzo Finance)
Hey, thanks so much for having us. Really appreciate it and excited to get the chance to chat with the SaucerSwap community.
Gaurang (Bonzo Finance)
Glad to be here.
ABFTFTW
Hey Brady. Hey Gaurang. Good to have you guys in the Bonzo Finance in the house. Happy to have you with us. I've been outside today and it's in Texas and it's a scorcher. I'm hoping some of that heat kind of passes off into the cryptosphere. I think the HBAR has a bright future. You know that most development going on in all the crypto space and I'm in it for the tech, so let's get this going. Talk to me, Peter.
Peter
Hi everyone. Welcome to our June AMA. And a very warm welcome to Brady and Gaurang from Bonzo, who will be answering some questions about their upcoming lending protocol. So super excited to welcome them up here to talk about that. So in the past, some of you may know, we've welcomed guests from projects like HeadStarter and Citadel wallet, so we are always excited to bring on builders in this space to talk about what they're building on Hedera.
Before we do jump into the questions from this week, we want to take a moment to address just the overall sentiment and roadmap. We wanna give everyone a sense of what's currently being worked on, what's coming next and our overall strategy to grow SaucerSwap.
So first of all, we have made some great progress on governance, which will provide a core utility to the SAUCE token. So for those unaware, governance is the core and sometimes exclusive utility of many DEX tokens. This includes UNI of Uniswap. With the release of governance, everyone will be able to vote with their SAUCE on proposals that align initiatives, create farms and LARI campaigns, decide token classifications, and so on and so forth. We have governance working now on Testnet and have created the UI for it. So we are looking at launching it early summer. So in the next few weeks. It could be towards the end of this month or it could go into next month but it is coming up.
Next we get to work on some features after governance that we know have been highly anticipated, namely Phase 2 and Phase 3 of Single-sided staking. We are super excited to follow through with these developments. We know that they've been a long time coming and they can contribute to some greater utility, both for the xSAUCE token and then also the Planck Epoch Collectible NFTs via kind of their redemption for Sauceling NFTs. So after we roll out governance, we'll be able to lock in the product schema for these features and move forward with their development. So we are really excited about bringing Phase 2 and Phase 3 of Single-sided staking online.
Additionally, with SAUCE having been listed on BitGet last month, we are looking forward to at least one more Centralized Exchange listing this month, with two being more likely. There is additionally a Centralized Exchange listing that is currently scheduled for July, which we are excited about as well.
We also want to just quickly bring to your attention we kicked off a major grant with the HBAR Foundation last week, providing over 20 Million HBAR in incentives for liquidity providers. At the time of receipt, that was over $2,000,000 USD an equivalent value for those tokens and those tokens are being distributed right now to SaucerSwap liquidity providers, in both Version 1 and Version 2, and we'll be live for the next few months. So if you haven't had a chance to check that out, feel free to do so on Saucerswap.finance on the liquidity page. You'll see kind of the effect of those increased rewards.
The salient point we do want to make in this introduction is we understand sentiment is lower today than it was a few months ago. We think this is kind of observed across DeFi on various networks, but you know the nature of these things is cyclical and we want our users to know that we are still developing, we're shipping major features coming up with governance and more on the roadmap that I just mentioned, as well as some other integrations in the coming weeks.
Looking back at the previous month, we think we had some major wins. You know we had this grant announcement with 20 Million HBAR, a major listing on BitGet, a MoonPay integration that's been in the works for a few weeks, not to mention the work that we have accomplished behind the scenes. So there's a lot to be excited about moving forward and we are very appreciative of all of your support as we continue to grow SaucerSwap.
I will just mention as well, you know the project depends on our community as much as it depends on development. So I would like to encourage everyone to stay positive. There's a lot to look forward to. We're working hard and remember that we have a well defined roadmap and we've consistently shipped features on that roadmap since the launch of SaucerSwap Version 1 almost two years ago, and we have a clear plan going forward as well to scale.
As we scale, the ecosystem has some exciting developments as well. So this is kind of the the feature of this AMA. We have Bonzo here, so lending and borrowing going live. It's a DeFi primitive that has an established symbiotic relationship with DEXs on other networks. It's a proven model, so we're excited to see projects like Bonzo and others coming online soon. There's a few lending and borrowing. I think HLiquity, it's already live. They created a pool on SaucerSwap. Bonzo is coming right up as well. And I think Sirio is another one. But anyway, all of these developments can bring a lot more awareness and activity to Hedera DeFi.
So with that preamble out of the way, we can get into the questions for this week.
Pine_apple
Thank you so much, Peter. Hedera DeFi, here we come. So the first question is from Rocco. With this environment being highly competitive, any project is required to have excellent marketing in order to succeed, regardless of how its tech is. What is SaucerSwap's long term plan to gain popularity and create brand awareness, especially to people outside of the Hydra ecosystem? As of my observations, current incentives don't reach far out of Hedera or SaucerSwap's community. So, for example, onboarding influential social media figures to talk about SaucerSwap, purchasing ad space or other collaborations in order to reach people that aren't already in the Hedera ecosystem. As of now, the average crypto enthusiast does not know of SaucerSwap's existence. What are your thoughts on that, Peter?
Peter
Yeah, Rocco, thanks for the question. So this kind of goes back to our overall marketing approach. And in general, it's always been to be objective and honest about the development of the platform. Reading brand awareness is a tricky thing and our philosophy is that it's linked to earning brand integrity. In our view, this comes from following through and executing on development.
So in Web3, you see a lot of marketing that focuses on hype and speculation, and in the short term that works. Our approach is different. We think that a long term, more sustainable approach that builds trust is better. It's not to say that we don't want visibility, especially to people outside the Hedera ecosystem. Quite the opposite. That's one of our main goals is to expand the challenge is accessibility. So right now there's one bridge to and from Hedera that not many people outside of Hedera know about. There is limited access to Hedera native USDC on Centralized Exchanges. The Hedera Token Service has not been integrated, full stop, on many Centralized Exchanges. These are substantial barriers to entry that that do make any marketing endeavors to users from other networks not impossible but definitely more challenging.
The silver lining to all of that is that all of these problems are being actively addressed, and when they are addressed, I think it's reasonable to expect the door to Hedera to open and because it will be so much easier to get involved by having easier access to native USDC for example, or being able to use the bridge that users are familiar with and trust, they will have less friction to get involved with Hedera and participate in the various network offerings.
So sum up our point of view, we think our marketing approach to date has been effective with a kind of high of reaching the top 25 DEXs across all networks by TVL, despite the accessibility challenges I mentioned before, and despite the lack of institutional capital on Hedera. So that is a massive achievement and we're not trying to rest on our laurels. I think it's just a good barometer of what we've achieved together. We surpassed Camelot, SpookySwap, QuickSwap, Bancor, Minswap - which is the leading DEX on Cardano - Loopring, and other very prominent DEXs, some of which had TVLs in excess of $1 billion last cycle.
So this growth we observed was not achieved by hiring influencers to create urgency or sense of hype, but just by being consistent and working hard and delivering on our roadmap. That strategy has been successful for the growth of SaucerSwap to date and that is our strategy going forward.
ABFTFTW
That was a great question Rocco, and Peter, you nailed it on the head. I couldn't agree more. Next question is for Bonzo Finance. Are there any plans to integrate SaucerSwap's API with Bonzo to enable collateral swaps directly from within the Bonzo Finance interface?
Gaurang (Bonzo Finance)
Yeah. To the question the answer is absolutely yes, but not immediately. We might be doing that in Q3 of this year. So what we are focusing on right now, Bonzo has a public Testnet live right now, which has the basic features like borrowing, lending, repaying, withdrawing and all these things, right. And we also have flash loans working right now on the Testnet. Our current main focus is to launch on the Hedera Mainnet with a basic set of features. These will include flash loans, liquidation bots, all the borrowing lending, you know, basic features of any lending protocol. Immediately after that, we want to launch the collateral swaps because our team has been using lending protocols personally and I think collateral swaps or even DEX swaps is a really nice feature, so if you see the APY for some token is more than the APY for the token that you have supplied, you can immediately switch that token without going through the whole process of withdrawing and supplying again. So yeah, it's definitely on the roadmap and that will be one of the first features that we tackle after launching on the Mainnet.
Brady (Bonzo Finance)
Yeah, and just to add to that as well. Bonzo Finances, it's based on the Aave V2 code base and so the functionalities that you're seeing on Aave V2 are all part of the roadmap. And I think we're taking a similar approach to SaucerSwap when it comes to sort of laying a a really solid and robust foundation initially. They had started with Uniswap V2 and then evolved feature sets and product offerings and eventually adopted Uniswap V3, and we're taking a very similar approach and it's sort of phased, but we want to deliver a really solid and usable product right off the bat, utilizing Aave V2 and sort of its core functionalities.
Pine_apple
Great. Thank you so much for that Brady and Gaurang. The Bonzo testnet is found on Bonzo.Finance, so for free to check that out guys. So our next question is from an anonymous user. When is SAUCE going to be listed on another Centralized Exchange? To get a ByBit listing, you need to have 40 million marketcap. SAUCE well past 50+ Million marketcap. Why is SAUCE not on ByBit? And another question is, did the team also apply for Binance after the recent announcement? What are your thoughts, Peter?
Peter
Yeah. Thanks for this question. So as I mentioned in the introduction to the AMA, we are planning for at least one Centralized Exchange listing this month, with two potentially being on the horizon. We can't speak on kind of specific exchanges or the exact scheduling right now, but we are satisfied with the progress we have been making and we're looking forward to the coming weeks.
I will just also note that so newer projects like PACK from the HashPack team tend to get listed faster or percede the scheduling in terms of listing of other network tokens. Just being a newer project, this is kind of what Centralized Exchanges want to capitalize on, and it's great for the ecosystem. It's been really good for us and it means that HTS is integrated on exchanges. There's more precedent for it and some more token listings can follow. And we have been working with HashPack to achieve the goal for the, you know, to the benefit of the entire HTS ecosystem to have HTS more widely integrated on Centralized Exchanges. And that of course kind of culminated in the BitGet listing last month with PACK and SAUCE.
ABFTFTW
Yeah, sounds good to me. Thanks for that explanation there, Peter. Septia. Hello, Septia. How are you? Septia wants to know what risk controls will Bonzo Finance have in place to minimize liquidity crunches.
Brady (Bonzo Finance)
Yeah, it's a great question. Happy to take that one. So there's a few things that we're doing to try and minimize that risk. The first one, which is foundational to Aave, is that when you're participating in lending and borrowing, it is an overcollateralized position that you're providing. So when you supply assets to the protocol, you are only allowed to borrow a percentage of the value that is supplied and the percentage is different per asset. So based on risk parameters and a risk analysis for each asset that's supported, that over collateralization amount is going to change. Essentially the loan to value amount will change. So when users are sort of over collateralizing, there's a buffer that exists for those assets.
And then in addition, dynamic interest rates. So the interest rates for borrowing adjust based on the utilization of that particular asset. So as more of an asset was borrowed, the interest rate for that asset increases and that incentivizes the behavior of repaying and also sort of encouraging liquidity to return to the protocol. Gaurang, anything else there that I may have missed?
Gaurang (Bonzo Finance)
Yeah. So I just want to give an example of the Aave market on the Scroll network. The Scroll is another L2 on Etherium. It actually happened I think on Thursday or Friday this week. So on the Aave protocol, there's a concept called utilization rate. Essentially, it's a rate of borrowed assets against supplied assets. So let's say all the people on the on the network has supplied 10,000 USDC and all the people have borrowed 9,000 USDC. So in that case, the utilization rate is going to be 90%. So as Brady was saying, as the utilization rate goes on increasing, the interest rate goes very high. So on Scroll, what happened this week was that the USDC utilization rate was at 99%, and because of that, the borrow and the supply APY on that particular asset was very high. So it was going towards like 80% or something for the supply. And you know what happens is with the market dynamics whenever the APY goes so high, there are more people in the market for supplying that asset. So it's kind of like an equilibrium and it's a game theoretical problem. So what we have observed in the protocol in the past is that the market dynamics kind of help with this. That's number one.
We are also looking at implementing something called Borrow Caps from Aave V3. We might bring in that functionality in [our] Aave V2 [fork] now. I'm not sure whether we will be doing it, but we are trying to do it before the Mainnet launch. With the Borrow Caps, we can actually cap the utilization of any assets, so we could cap it at let's say 90% or 85% or something. Yeah, these are like a couple of things that we're looking at.
Brady (Bonzo Finance)
Yeah. And then to add in addition to that, there is a mechanism within Aave that is also being employed in Bonzo called a safety module. Essentially, a safety module is a reserve of the protocols native asset. Holders of that native asset are incentivized to lock up their tokens into this safety module and receive a interest rate, an APY for doing so. That reserve can be employed in the case of a shortfall event related to liquidity. So if there's moments of extreme volatility for supported assets and liquidations that don't take place in a timely manner or take place improperly, that reserve is also employed to ensure that accreditors are made whole. So anticipation is that we are doing everything to mitigate the chance of that from happening, but it is sort of an insurance in the case of something like that taking place. And then if it is employed, the assets that are utilized from the safety module, it's shared across anybody who is participating in that functionality.
Pine_apple
Great. Thank you so much for that, Brady and Gaurang. So moving on to our next question, this is from a anonymous user. SaucerSwap Twitter is not very active recently and the number of followers is stagnating, which seems to indicate a lack of interest. Any plans to boost engagement, engagement and dynamism in the coming weeks?
Peter
Yeah, well, Bonzo's surely getting the fun questions. So SaucerSwap's Twitter account has grown by 3400 followers in the last 30 days, which indicates roughly a 10% increase month over month. That is an excellent growth rate. And over the next few weeks, we have several developments and integrations that we will announce and highlight right on our social media platforms, including Twitter. So in terms of recent growth, we have enjoyed a healthy rate of increase again 10% month over month is very good.
Going back to the answer from before regarding our marketing approach, we use our social media accounts to put out useful information about integrations and protocol developments, so that all the content we put out is not just fluff. We want to put out substance. Additionally, the Spring Incentives Campaign does present a unique opportunity for marketing. Looking into potentially doing a press release for this one to kind of target users from other networks. So highlighting that as an endeavor is something we're currently pursuing.
ABFTFTW
Sounds pretty good, Peter. Thank you for that. Next question is again for the Bonzo crew. Are there any integrations that will exist between SaucerSwap DEX and Bonzo Finance lending protocol?
Brady (Bonzo Finance)
Yeah, we're definitely looking into integrations between the two. I think the first thing off the bat is there are two core functionalities within the Bonzo Finance ecosystem for liquidation bots and flash loans that Gaurang mentioned earlier. And so for liquidation bots, essentially what that is, is anybody in the ecosystem who is technically savvy can operate a liquidation bot that seeks out opportunities for liquidations. Essentially when liquidation thresholds are met for users. And upon performing the liquidation, they would take the collateral that was supplied by the user and swaps would need to be performed as part of that process. And when we are building out the templates for liquidation bots in that ecosystem, it is going to heavily rely on SaucerSwap and their DEX and the liquidity in SaucerSwap to perform that action.
One thing I'm excited about that in the sense that I think that by adding lending protocols and particularly Bonzo Finance and our liquidation bot ecosystem, it should help further drive volumes that we see on the SaucerSwap DEX, which is a key health metric, and then in addition to that with flash loans.
Flash loans are essentially the ability to borrow assets from the Bonzo Protocol without providing collateral. And the way that works is it's the development of a smart contract that borrows assets or liquidity from the protocol, utilizes that liquidity for certain types of financial transactions, so it could be arbitrage between two Decentralized Exchanges or between a Centralized and a Decentralized Exchange, and then paying back that loan plus interest, all within a single transaction. And if the loan is unable to be repaid back within that single transaction, the process reverses. And so it's as if that process never happens. So flash loans are viewed as a very relatively safe way to be able to utilize larger amounts of liquidity in the protocol and earn a profit for doing so based on the various types of activities that would utilize that liquidity for in the templates that we're building out for our developer ecosystem. That includes SaucerSwap as sort of a key exchange that someone would utilize when participating in a flash loan type activities. Gaurang, anything else there to add in addition with regards to integrations?
Gaurang (Bonzo Finance)
Yeah. So we mentioned the collateral swaps earlier, so that will be another integration. Also, we are heavily relying on the WHBAR, the wrapped HBAR contracts deployed by SaucerSwap. So for us, I think for any blockchain protocol, composability is very important, right? So it's very important to be able to work with essentially all the contracts and all the things that have already been deployed on the network. That's why we are integrating with the WHBAR contract deployed by SaucerSwap. That way, there's very close tie and close relationship between Bonzo and SaucerSwap. Anyone who is kind of building liquidation bots on Bonzo or utilizing the flash loans on Bonzo will be able to use SaucerSwap very seamlessly.
Pine_apple
Great. Thank you so much for that, Brady and Gaurang. So this next question is from a user and you guys kind of touched on this a little bit. For liquidation bots on Bonzo Finance, will there be mechanisms in place to utilize SaucerSwap's liquidity to facilitate the liquidation process efficiently?
Gaurang (Bonzo Finance)
Yeah, absolutely. So I would say it's like the keystone for any liquidation bots on Bonzo. So without SaucerSwap's liquidity, the liquidation bots and the flash loans won't really work. So just to kind of explain in short how the liquidations work, let's say I have deposited some token on Bonzo token like KARATE or DOVU or SAUCE token, and I have borrowed USDC against those tokens. Now let's say what happens is, just like what happened yesterday, the supply token value goes down by 20% because of some events in the market that happened yesterday for example. Now what happens is in this case my loan to value ratio, my LTV, could go above the liquidation threshold and in this case, the liquidation bots will kick in. So what the liquidation bots will do is they will repay my USDC loan by taking a flash loan. They will swap my USDC on SaucerSwap back to SAUCE, and then they will essentially pay back the flash loan on Bonzo. So all these actions will happen in the same block, in the same transaction on the blockchain, not the same transaction, but the same block on the blockchain. And that's why without SaucerSwap, liquidation bots might not work unless you have like a big liquidity in your own wallet. Unless you have like 10s of thousands or even millions of dollars in your wallet, it won't work.
ABFTFTW
Awesome, Gaurang. Thank you so much for that. Next question goes to Joseph, what cross chain activities will the team be participating in over the next six months to encourage new users to come to SaucerSwap?
Joseph
Hi everyone. Man, I feel like a second class citizen during this far down. Well yeah, to answer the question, there are several interoperability solutions currently integrating with Hedera. So I believe Axelar has been the first to publicly announce this, and once integrated, there will be more avenues to bridge assets to and from Hedera and other chains. So SaucerSwap plans on leveraging this by allocating a portion of the 23 Million+ HBAR in THF grant money towards liquidity incentives in both V1 and V2 pools. And this would be pools containing these newly supported cross-chain assets, with an emphasis on stable coins.
On protocols like Axelar will also enable cross-chain swaps in addition to the standard bridge transactions, and this means you can access say Uniswap liquidity from within the SaucerSwap's web frontend.
Beyond this, we are continuing to assist with the onboarding of new active liquidity management or ALM providers such as Gamma and Steer protocol. These offer an alternative liquidity management strategy to Ichi. So ALMs, of course, are important for the health of SaucerSwap for V2 since concentrated liquidity positions can be a challenge to manage without the auto rebalancing.
And lastly, I think it would be great for multi-chain yield aggregators like Beefy to integrate with Hedera. This would enable V1 yield farmers and potentially V2 liquidity providers to automatically compound their earnings without the need to do like a manual harvest.
Pine_apple
Great. Thanks so much for that. Joseph, you're A1 in my book friend. So the next question is from anonymous user. Development seems relatively slow recently. Are you facing particular challenges such as technical staffing or other? When can we expect the release of the features in development visible on the roadmap? For example, improved LARI analytics, slippage optimization, Wallet Connect integration, etc.
Joseph
Yeah, good question. So development is fairly cyclical, meaning we generally spend several months with our heads down working on a new product or feature. Then once it's ready to ship, we allocate more resources to marketing and just become more public facing in general. So you may have noticed this pattern with single-sided staking, SaucerSwap Version 2, most recently Autopools, and the product that we're currently working on is on-chain governance.
Also, as our protocol continues to mature, the length of these development cycles tends to increase as considerations like scaling and stability become more pertinent, and this has become especially apparent in recent times, given that we experienced a 10x increase in traffic near the beginning of the year.
There's also external considerations that are outside of our control. So for example, we are unable to release Wallet Connect despite completing our integration. This is due to several outstanding differences between Hedera wallet providers, which are currently being resolved.
So all to say, we unfortunately can't move with the same cadence as we did at the beginning of our projects life cycle. However, we are taking proactive measures, such as hiring more developers and ensuring tech debt is minimized and we have a solid foundation on which to build. I do agree that frequent communication on the status of our development is important and the hyper competitiveness of this space is acknowledged. So we will put out a development update this week, and this should bring the community up to speed on what has been achieved and what can be expected in the near term.
ABFTFTW
Thank you, Joseph. Next question is what is the plan to deepen liquidity in Bonzo and also the Hedera DeFi ecosystem as the whole? And then a follow up question is a DEX partnership like Joe, Cake or JUP coming up?
Brady (Bonzo Finance)
Yeah, it's a great question and it's something that's really top of mind for us at the end of the day. In order to create an economically sustainable protocol, we need to have TVL on Bonzo and then we need to ensure that folks are utilizing that TVL for borrowing. That's where you know majority of the fees come from for the treasury for Bonzo Finance. There's sort of three key things that that we're looking at off the bat that that seemed critical and it's the incentivization of liquidity providers, offering a wide range of assets that are supported by the protocol, and then leveraging stable coins and in particular USDC.
With the incentivization of liquidity providers, there are two programs that were looking at running. The first one is we are in discussions with HBAR Foundation around liquidity incentives for their DeFi Spring program that SaucerSwap is also partaking in. Those discussions aren't finalized yet, but the hope is to be able to provide HBAR incentives for folks that are both supplying liquidity and borrowing.
And then the second is a points program that's being employed by the protocol. So we're actually going to be using the HCS-20 point standard using the Hedera consensus service for the protocol. I think it's one of the first times that in the Hedera ecosystem, there's been an employment of this HCS-20 standard for like a real world live use case. I think the only other one might be NFTier. That points program - we were inspired by Margin Phi, Kamino, and some of these other lending protocols that you see on networks like Solana and across the Web3 space - and it's going to run in seasons.
So each season is around five to six months, and points that are accumulated throughout those seasons for participating in supplying liquidity and borrowing. Users will receive rewards at the end of each season for the accumulation of those points. So we think between those two incentive models, it's sort of strong case for folks to want to be able to supply liquidity to the protocol.
In addition and sort of tangential to that, there's a lot of liquidity in the ecosystem today that is in the treasuries of these token based projects or in large holders accounts - sometimes employees or investors or folks that have you know are large holders of these token based projects - and there hasn't been a extremely safe place for them to supply that liquidity, which unlocks it for the ecosystem that's more sort of relatively lower risk where they're able to earn rewards on it. And so with Bonzo, because when you support a specific asset, it's a single liquidity pool. It's not like a token pair similar to like a DEX. And in discussions that we've had with token based projects, looking to them as potentially unlocking some of that liquidity that is in their treasuries or by these large holders that for many reasons they're unable to sell their tokens on market, but they do want to utilize them, Bonzo is a very appealing place to be able to supply those assets.
In addition to that, in terms of a wide range of assets, one of the things that I'm most excited about that's sort of in the process of being developed is bridging infrastructure and in particular the engagement with Axelar. I think the one of the few ways that we can really drive overall TVL and the ecosystem is through the use of bridging, and providing incentives for users to drive liquidity from other networks to Hedera. So we are in the process of waiting for Axelar bridging and bridge providers that are utilizing Axelar to come online, but those wrapped assets that can be brought over are going to play a critical role in like the growth and health of Hedera's DeFi ecosystem and in particular protocols like SaucerSwap and Bonzo Finance. We certainly want to run campaigns that target users on other networks and bring them and liquidity over to the Hedera network, but again, just waiting on the development of this bridging infrastructure to take place, but it feels very promising.
Then the third thing is stable coins. There's a huge emphasis on USDC right now in Hedera ecosystem as part of HBAR foundation strategy and I think just overarching strategy. The liquidity of USDC on Hedera is quite low relative to other public networks. So as Gaurang mentioned earlier, USDC and stable coins on lending protocols are one of, if not the most highest utilized asset. We think that's going to hold true for the Hedera ecosystem. So in our discussions with market makers and liquidity providers and other folks that would be supplying that liquidity, USDC is definitely top of mind and we want to be a liquidity powerhouse when it comes to USDC and other stable coin assets.
Pine_apple
Thank you so much for that thorough explanation, Brady. So our next question is from Maurice. Is there any consideration to use the Pyth network for better auto pools?
Joseph
Yeah. So our team actually has met with Pyth and we do see value in an integration. In terms of Auto Pools, I know that Ichi uses Chainlinks transaction manager to streamline the rebalance function. So this is done by quickly identifying and confirming transactions during periods of heavy network congestion. I don't think that's particularly relevant to Hedera just due to architectural differences between Hashgraph and Blockchain, but in terms of price oracles, Ichi currently looks at SaucerSwap TWAP oracles and these price assets based on token reserves and liquidity pools. So I'm not sure if they would how they would use third party oracles such as those offered by Pyth, but if you have any ideas, feel free to drop them in our Discord.
ABFTFTW
Next question is when is stage 2 and 3 of single-sided staking going to launch and what are the use cases for the PEC NFTs?
Joseph
Yeah. So Peter touched on this, but stages 2 and 3 of single-sided staking will be prioritized following the release of on-chain governance and this is planned for early summer. Our conception of how phases 2 and 3 will work has evolved since it was first announced, and we now have a better sense of how an optimal system could be developed that has product market fit within the Hedera ecosystem. So you can expect marketing and educational material on this extension of single-sided staking to become a focus once token weighted voting and a functioning DAO become live.
In terms of how Planck Epoch Collectible NFTs relate to stage 3 of single-sided staking, the idea is that holders of these NFTs will have the option of redeeming them for Sauceling NFT, and these Sauceling NFTs in turn can be staked to increase one's weight of rewards in a Community Pool.
Pine_apple
Thank you for that, Joseph. So this next question is for Brady and Gaurang. Can developers or traders use Bonzo Finance's flash loans to execute complex arbitrage trades or liquidity provision strategies on SaucerSwap?
Brady (Bonzo Finance)
Yeah, absolutely. So as mentioned before, flash loans can be employed to be able to perform these arbitrage activities in the templates that we're creating for users who are creating flash loans, automatically incorporate SaucerSwap's DEX as part of that. The way that that process might look is a trader identifies that there's a price discrepancy between an asset that's on SaucerSwap and maybe another Decentralized Exchange, or Centralized Exchange. They configure a flash loan where the trader is able to borrow the necessary funds to be able to execute this arbitrage trade that they want to perform. All within the same single transaction, the trader would sell the borrowed assets on the exchange with the higher price and then buy them back on SaucerSwap at a lower price as an example. Then finally, the trader repays the flash loan using the profits from the arbitrage trade and then keeping the remaining profits for themselves. This is sort of one example that flash loans can be utilized for.
In terms of liquidity provisioning - you can borrow assets against your collateral on Bonzo and then you really can do anything that you want with those assets that you've borrowed. So one of the things that I could anticipate seeing is there are various APY rates on SaucerSwap for providing liquidity. Based on these different asset types, and let's say you're a large holder of HBAR, you want to be able to get exposure to these other assets to supply them as liquidity and earn interest or earn rewards for doing so, but you don't want to sell your HBAR in order to do that. So you can collateralize your HBAR using Bonzo. You can take out a loan of let's say USDC because USDC interests APY on SaucerSwap is pretty high. There is a small borrow APY that you would pay for borrowing the USDC from Bonzo, but you would supply that to SaucerSwap and you'd be earning an ideally larger APY for supplying it as liquidity to the protocol. That is one strategy where liquidity provisioning can take place where it utilizes Bonzo and it utilizes SaucerSwap. That's going to help deepen the liquidity for assets on SaucerSwap's DEX, but then also create more sort of efficient market. So with greater liquidity in SaucerSwap's DEX, there's a less likely chance of slippage and other benefits that come along with that, as well as efficiencies.
ABFTFTW
Awesome, Brady, I appreciate all that information. That's really fascinating stuff. This is where we break away from the traditional AMA and move on to the TMS because this isn't the question, this is tell me something. So Anon wants to tell us. I think it's appropriate to use AI technologies to be more inclusive of non-English speaking communities and not be attacked with so many questions afterwards. Joseph, you want to tell him something back?
Joseph
Sure, take a stab. Yeah. So we actually did leverage AI to translate our gitbook documentation into, I believe, 11 different languages. I do think there's also value in translating the AMA transcripts, so I appreciate this suggestion. Slightly unrelated, but adding localization and multi-currency support to the webapp would also increase SaucerSwap's accessibility to non-English speakers. I'm not sure if automating this with AI is necessarily the right approach, as we'd want to ensure the translations are accurate, but in any case, we definitely plan on looking into this once current roadmap items are completed.
(...)
submitted by H-Barbara to SaucerSwap [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 02:41 MK_Matrix I lost my dog a few years ago. He suddenly showed up on our porch a few weeks back.

A few years ago, I had a dog named Bear. A bit on the nose for a Newfoundland, I know, but the day I found him wandering around the street, I was more concerned with helping him than coming up with something clever. As such, the name started out as a joke, but when I was sure that I was gonna officially adopt him and the time came to actually give him a name, I had been using it so consistently that he responded to it. So, Bear it was.
He was a good dog. I never figured out how old he actually was - he didn’t look very big when I found him, but I’m not privy to dogs, especially ones this big, so I never could pin down an age. He was certainly a character - he barely ever barked, would sleep on my floor instead of the expensive bed that I bought him (just my luck), and would randomly get explosive bursts of energy that transformed him from a dog into a battering ram. He alternated between being afraid of his own shadow and being willing to die for me, all over a squirrel that scurried in front of us while we were out on a walk. I bought him a red collar that just barely fit him, and he made it his mission to try and discard it in the funniest ways possible, like rubbing his neck against walls and scratching at it with his hind legs. Despite his quirks, I loved him, and he certainly loved me.
If you really gave it some thought, he was odd in other ways than just his personality. I mean, on the day I found him, what was a Newfie doing in the middle of a toll road in the forests of California? I’d just assumed he was a puppy from a mill that got out, but it was cooler to imagine some crazy backstory for him. Bear, the vampire dog, who prowled the Six Rivers National Forest as its apex predator, was tamed one day by half a ham sandwich. It gave me a good laugh, if nothing else.
It was a couple of years after I got Bear that I started dating a girl I’d met at a coffee shop a few miles away. We’d hit it off to the point that we were staying at each other’s houses, and life was good. Bear seemed to like her, and since she had his seal of approval, she had mine. That’s just how it worked.
One day, I left her in charge of watching Bear while I ran errands. Given that he’d chewed through the bottom of a door the day prior (we were working on it), I couldn’t leave him by himself, and since the grocery store was a few miles away from my house, I thought she shouldn’t have any trouble with him. She was a vet tech, after all, and had given me plenty of pointers on how to deal with him.
I got back an hour later and found my date on the couch where I left her, watching the next episode of the show we were binging. I was a bit pissed that she went on without me, but was more concerned with where Bear was. When I’d left, he was at her feet, sound asleep. Now, though, he was absent. I searched the upstairs first, in hopes that he was actually using the dog bed for once, but to no avail. I walked back downstairs and into the kitchen, hoping that he was lying on the air vent that he liked. He wasn’t there, but I did find something that no pet owner wants to see. The chain on the back door was dangling, ripped out of the wall, and the door was pushed open. My stomach sank as I realized what happened, and I just sat there for a moment before my date walked into the kitchen and covered her mouth.
She profusely apologized, and I wasn’t really angry at her - sure, she should have been paying more attention, but I was sure that he didn’t get very far. I’d assumed that he had seen a squirrel through the backdoor and broke out to try to get after it, and hoped he’d tired himself out and was lying in the shade under one of the trees in the backyard. Still, I wanted to do more than just hope, so I grabbed the flashlights I kept in the utility drawer, and we walked out into the backyard, hoping to find him.
I lived on the edge of the aforementioned national forest, and Bear and I often went on walks through there, so if he wasn’t out back, he was certainly in the woods. I knew the area well, but it was still a lot of ground to cover, and we didn’t have a lot of time before it was pitch black. We searched for a few hours, and while I wanted to keep going, she was tired, and regrettably, I was too. We decided that he’d probably be fine for the night, and went back inside, intent on starting a new search bright and early.
We spent all of the next day searching. We spent all of the next week searching. Hell, it almost came up on a month, and I was starting to recognize the lichen patterns on specific trees before I had to face it. Bear was gone. I had put up flyers with reward money and scoured every area of the woods from top to bottom. I was heartbroken, to say the least.
I kind of shut myself off from the world a little bit after that. I stopped talking to the girl I was seeing - I didn’t really blame her, but I couldn’t build a relationship on a complete disaster like that. I started working from home instead of making the commute to the office, as even driving down the forested roads that I had spent hot afternoons frantically searching made me a bit queasy. I was a mess, and I didn’t get over it for a long time.
This all happened a little over three years ago, and I was mostly over it by this point. I’d since met and married my wife, and we were expecting our first child in a few months. We were still living in the same house - even if it had some sad memories attached to it, it was still a nice place, and I wasn’t willing to give up on it. I had hope that my new life with my family would help drown out some of the sadness that still stained the place. Part of me still wished that Bear was there to see it with me.
Ideally, that would’ve been the end of the story, or better yet, I wouldn’t even be writing this right now, but three weeks ago, everything changed. I woke up earlier than I usually would to get breakfast started, as it was a bit of a tradition between my wife and I to make pancakes every Saturday, and it was my turn that week. I was finishing up when I heard it, loud as day - a bark from the backyard. This scared the shit out of me, as it wasn’t something I’d heard from the backyard in years. I moved the pancakes to a plate, shut the stove off, and peeked out the window as I was transporting them to the dining table.
It sounds cliché, but I nearly dropped the plate onto the floor when I saw where the bark came from. It was Bear, standing in the middle of the yard. He looked remarkably clean, and it looked like he had finally managed to get the collar off. I started freaking out instantly, and yanked the back door open before running outside in just my bathrobe and slippers. I expected some fairy tale-esque reunion, with him jumping into my arms and knocking me down because of how heavy he was. I was ecstatic to see him, and I was expecting him to feel that same way.
Instead of running towards me, he turned and ran towards the tree line, growling. He turned around and got into an aggressive stance, his tail still and his eyes narrowed. I was stunned, but I figured that he had been in the woods for so long that he was probably scared to death by seeing me again. Regrettably, he might have also felt that I’d abandoned him, but that was a possibility I didn’t want to consider at that moment. He just needed some TLC, and he’d be my dog again just like that. I ran inside and grabbed the half-empty package of bacon from inside the fridge. I threw it on the stove and went back to the window, watching as Bear laid down in the yard. Oddly enough, he didn’t lie in the shade under the trees, like he usually would have, but right in the sun. Three years was a long time to be lost, so maybe his habits had been turned upside down by learning to survive.
I put the bacon in a paper bowl and walked outside. I shook the bowl, calling his name from the concrete porch. He didn’t budge, still lying in the middle of the yard. I figured I’d leave it sitting out, and he’d come get it when he felt more comfortable. My wife was up by this point, justifiably confused by me calling my lost dog’s name from the back of the house. I excitedly showed her that he’d returned, but she seemed less enthusiastic than me. She smiled upon seeing him, but she didn’t have the same connection to him that I did, so I couldn’t blame her for her diluted reaction.
I went to the store right away to grab new dog food, water and food bowls, and most importantly, parts for a doggy door. We lived in a safe enough area that I could install one without fear of a break in, and I wanted to ease Bear back into our house by letting him come in at his own pace. I spent the whole day installing it, glancing over my shoulder every few seconds to make sure he wasn’t getting into trouble. He just laid in the sun, presumably napping.
The next morning, I walked into the kitchen to see if there were any signs that Bear had been in the house. Sure enough, there was a clump of black fur stuck in the corner of the doggy door, and the dry food I’d put in the bowl looked to be partially eaten. I told my wife as such when she got up, and she wasn’t fazed by it, instead grabbing my hand and leading me upstairs back into our bedroom. I hadn’t noticed when I got up, but one of the dog bones I’d left on the back patio was on our bedroom carpet, implying that he’d been in there last night, probably guarding us while we slept. My wife seemed a bit disturbed by this, but I was thrilled. To me, this just served as proof that part of my old Bear was still in him - he used to do that all the time, after all.
I sat down with my wife that night and started to discuss how we could make Bear feel more comfortable in our home, but she stopped me. She tried to reason that he had spent years presumably lost in the woods, and had probably become feral and unpredictable. As much as I wanted to cast those doubts aside and override her, she had a valid point; you don’t just spend years stranded and come back the same, human, dog, or otherwise. We met in the middle; if Bear was still hanging around the house in a month and showed signs of improved friendliness, we could try and reincorporate him into our lives. I would do anything to have him back, but I did have a pregnant wife to worry about, so I agreed. In the meantime, we agreed that I’d install a lock on the doggy door so that he or anything else couldn’t get inside. I made a mental note to go to the hardware store sometime next week, as the next day was a national holiday and it was closed.
I abruptly woke up at around 2 in the morning, and wasn’t sure what woke me at first. I thought that I might need water, so I started to head downstairs to get some from the tap. When I got into the kitchen, I started to retrieve a glass when I heard what sounded like scratching on the siding of the house. It was loud and rapid, as if something was trying to claw its way through the wall. Puzzled, I turned to look out the window, and almost choked on my water when I saw Bear’s head looking through the kitchen window. As soon as I saw him, the scratching immediately stopped. He wasn’t panting or anything, despite the fact that it sounded like he was trying to dig through the wall moments prior. He was just sitting at the window, staring at me. Admittedly, in the moonlight, he looked kind of creepy - just looking at me, motionless.
Before I could say his name to see if he would respond with a bark or any other noise, his head quickly sank below the window, in one fluid motion. Usually, when dogs dismount from a surface they’re looking over while standing on their hind legs, there’s a moment where they remove their first front paw and sort of stumble under their weight before moving the other one. That didn’t happen here, though - he just vanished without a sound. I was really creeped out by this point, but figured that he was just surveying the house to see if he felt more comfortable inside. I chalked his weird disappearance up to me being exhausted and it being too dark to fully see him moving.
The next morning, I told my wife that I thought Bear was getting more comfortable around us, and recounted the events of last night. She seemed a bit unsettled, and switched the subject to the doggy door, but I was too excited to take that into account. I told her I was going for a walk in the preserve, put on my running shoes, and left the house.
I was about two miles into the woods when I came across an open area that I hadn’t seen before. Odd, because I knew these woods like the back of my hand, but maybe some campers had come and illegally set up for the night. Several small trees in the area were snapped at the base, possibly in an attempt to free up space for a tent. Maybe this had been here and I just hadn’t noticed it?
That was the theory I was operating on at first, until I looked down at my feet and noticed what was going on. There were white objects poking out of the dirt, which I thought were just pebbles when I arrived. Now that I had actually stopped to look around, though, I noticed that they weren’t rocks at all, but little animal bones. I wasn’t really fazed upon seeing this - animals die in the woods all the time, and I’d probably just stumbled across a mountain lion’s work. That would have made sense, except for a few things.
For one, the bones seemed to be arranged in some sort of pattern. It didn’t look like any symbol in particular, just a set of interlocking circles. There was no way that an animal would arrange the bones of their prey like this, so I was already weirded out, but then I noticed that as the circles grew larger, so did the bones, to the point that some of them were bigger than my arm. I was sufficiently freaked out now, so I turned and went back the way I came, calling the park services helpline on my way home. They told me that I’d probably come across an area frequented by deer, and subsequently predators looking for a quick meal, and that it probably wasn’t anything to be concerned about. After I badgered them for a bit and explained the whole pattern thing, they agreed to send someone out to take a look at it, just in case. I was satisfied with that, so I continued home and tried not to think about it.
I caught glimpses of Bear in the backyard for a few weeks, but didn’t see him for a prolonged period of time until yesterday. I was sitting outside by our fire pit, reading, when I noticed his head poke out from behind one of the trees lining the path of the preserve. I couldn’t see the rest of his body, and that confused me, considering that his head was six feet above the ground. Given that my kitchen window was about the same height, I figured that he was once again standing on his hind legs, probably after some critter in the tree, and I couldn’t see his body because of the angle. That explanation made sense to me, so I didn’t really pay him any mind - if I chose to ignore him, maybe he’d feel like I wasn’t a threat, and would be more comfortable around me. At this point, I’d try anything.
I looked up again two minutes later, and he wasn’t at the tree anymore. I figured that whatever he was after jumped out of the tree and he’d hightailed it after them, so I went back to reading. The snap of a twig moments later grabbed my attention again, and I looked up to see his head poking out from behind another tree fifty feet away. He was at a different angle now, but I still couldn’t see his body, which should’ve been impossible considering how fluffy he was. I couldn’t tell from the newly increased distance, but I swore I saw a single one of his paws wrapped around the tree, almost like how a person would put their hand around a door frame for stability. I wasn’t sure if I was just seeing things, but I wasn’t in the mood to read anymore, so I went inside.
It hurt me to admit this, but at this point, I think I was accepting that Bear was too far gone, and I couldn’t really blame him for that. He was an animal who had been thrust into the cold, dark wilderness, and to expect him to be unchanged by that would be unfair. Still, I was building a family, and it was my duty to protect them. The next day, I got my opportunity to do just that when I spotted Bear once again lying in the center of the back lawn. I grabbed two baking sheets and walked outside, slapping them together and yelling. This loud display apparently worked, as he shot up and darted towards the tree line. I felt like absolute shit after doing this, but it was what needed to be done.
I thought that would be the end of it. I spooked him away, and now I could focus on getting our lives back to normal. Today was a Saturday morning, and instead of making pancakes, I intended on surprising my wife with breakfast from her favorite local donut shop, as she told me that she’d been craving them the night prior. I’m no dummy when it comes to hints, so I hopped into the car and peeled out onto the road, hoping I’d get there before all her favorite flavors sold out.
As I was speeding down the road, I saw it. Or, at least, I thought I did. Under one of the trees on the side of the road, I saw Bear. He was standing on his hind legs, with no support. He didn’t move his head to look at the car, or even show any kind of reaction to me passing him. He just sat there, doing nothing. I slammed on the brakes, and thank god there weren’t any other cars on the road at this time of day, because I would’ve caused an accident. I looked into the rearview mirror, and saw nothing under the tree. I jumped out of the car, looking around like a madman, and saw nothing. The woods were silent, save for the sound of wind and twigs snapping in the distance.
I got back into the car and took a moment before driving again. What I’d just seen, I wasn’t sure, and I was having a full-blown panic attack as a result. After I took some deep breaths, reason returned to me, and I figured that I was seeing things that weren’t there, in dark places in the light of dawn. I resumed driving, albeit at a much slower pace than before. I couldn’t exactly focus my full attention on the road.
When I got to the donut shop, I was met with a pleasant surprise - in line in front of me was the vet tech that I’d been seeing years ago. Even though we’d stopped seeing each other, we ended on fine terms, and didn’t harbor any bad feelings toward each other, as evidenced by the smile and hug we greeted each other with. She asked to grab a couple of coffees and donuts to catch up for a little bit before I returned home, and I agreed, wanting to get my mind off of things. She had done well for herself - she was a full blown vet now, and had been for some time. She was married and had a son, and gave me a bunch of jokey warnings about parenthood. The subject turned to pets, and even though I didn’t want to sour feelings between us, I just couldn’t keep my mouth shut about Bear.
I told her everything that happened, save for what I’d just seen fifteen minutes ago - I wasn’t even sure if I’d actually seen it. She looked concerned while I talked, and tried to interject a few times, but I just kept spilling my feelings. When the floor was finally hers, she hesitated for a second, and then spoke.
“That’s
 impossible.”
“What?”
“I really didn’t wanna tell you this, because I didn’t wanna hurt you more, but a few months after we stopped talking, someone brought Bear into our office. He was hit by a car, and we did everything we could
 but there was nothing we could do. I didn’t call you about it, because I didn’t think you wanted to hear that your dog was dead.”
I asked her how she was so sure. It couldn’t be. I’d seen my dog alive.
“His collar. He had his collar on when he came into the office. The red one with his name tag on it.”
I left the shop after that. I didn’t leave the parking lot, though. Not because I was afraid to go home, even if I was.
But because I was ashamed. I’m a bad husband. I forgot to get a lock for the doggy door.
submitted by MK_Matrix to scarystories [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 02:31 Character_Promise_39 My situationship left me for someone- absolutely devastated

I was seeing a guy I knew from before in January and February- we had previously been seeing each other before but started fighting a lot, and we stopped. In January, he told me he loved me, was crazy about me and wants to date me. At the time, I was in school in another city and he told me we’d started dating when I’d come back. He told me he wouldn’t date anyone else until then. Few weeks later, he started acting distant and was being flat out mean to me. I’d tried to call him out on his behaviour and he’d essentially gaslight me by telling me I’m too clingy and that I should respect his work schedule (he’d still tell me he loves me all the time during this period). After doing some Insta stalking during this time, I suspected he had been seeing someone- I asked him, and he told me I was jumping to the worst conclusions. At the end of February, he asked for some space- I respected that but I did call him once to check in, and when he answered, he basically told me he never wants to talk to me again and blocked me everywhere. He’s currently dating the girl I suspected he was seeing when he started acting rude and distant with me. I am absolutely devastated and cannot seem to move past this. I’m finding myself constantly comparing myself to this other girl, and telling myself that he chose her over me because he found her better than me and more beautiful than me. I also feel so embarrassed and like a complete loser because of this- like I was being played this entire time, and he essentially gaslighted me to make it seem like everything was my fault, while the entire time, he was just leading me on and fucking around with another girl.
Some kind words to help me get through this would be helpful âŁïž
submitted by Character_Promise_39 to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 02:24 Expert_Nebula6253 Reflection During Divorce. Was I Unreasonable?

Hey folks. Long story short my wife said she wanted a divorce back in October and we have been separated since then with a lot of interaction. I often end up making some encouraging remarks about how we can make it through this (I know, probably dumb) and she responds with a list of reasons why I’m so terrible. One thing that comes up over and over again is a situation that happened 7 years ago and I’m looking for feedback and on how move forward.
Back in 2017 my stbxw’s mom lived five minutes from our house and we were pregnant with our first. We were super excited that grandma was right around the corner as we knew the help would be great and the baby would get to spend time with family (my family all live thousands of miles away). Unfortunately a few months before we were due her mom decided to move thousands of miles away to Hawaii. Her mom and step dad said they would get a condo near us and split their time, but that never happened. Eventually they told us that her mom was terminal with cancer. They bought an amazing house but in a very remote area with limited access to healthcare. The nearest hospital was 45 minutes away on a good day. To make matters worse there was a public health crisis due to rat lungworrm. When they moved, without asking, they left a mountain of trash in our driveway. I had to load up my truck and take it to the dump and pay $80 to get rid of it. The money wasn’t a big deal but I was annoyed that nobody asked and I did say it was annoying to my wife, but that was about it. Then I just took care of it and moved on. They also left a car at our house with no plans on what to do with it. It just sat, needing to be moved every week for street sweeping to avoid a ticket, which sounds easier to deal with than it was. It always required shuffling cars since we only had a two car driveway. After a few months I started asking what they were going to do with the car. Eventually the battery died and replacing it was not straightforward. It was even difficult to get into the car. The step dad got mad that I couldn’t take care of it myself, used the opportunity to make me look like an idiot with my wife, and reluctantly called someone to fix it. Then finally sold it.
Her mom came to visit only one time, when the baby was first born. The visit was rough too. She was supposed to stay with us and she did for one night but her husband didn’t want to and he stayed somewhere else. So after the first night she went and stayed with him. I don’t think he liked me much and I suspect that was the reason he didn’t want to stay. My wife and I still got along great at this point. But after two weeks or so they returned to Hawaii and never came back again. Instead, they wanted my wife to go to Hawaii.
Initially, I was a little stressed about that because of the remoteness of the area and the lack of emergency care when our child was so young (just weeks/months old). We went on a couple of trips there and she went on a couple of them alone. When I was there I went out and did some things alone to give them time without me in their way, but not much. We also took a night or two to go to hotel and take some vacation time together which was great, but I know the step dad wasn’t happy because he thought she should be spending that time with her mom.
Anyway at some point the step dad sent a long email saying that every time she visited it took her mom a long time to recover and that it’s best if she doesn’t visit anymore. This upset her and she was initially mad at him but I guess at some point he suggested that she come and stay there until her mom gets too sick. No one knew how long that would be. At the time my wife was still on maternity leave but it was ending. She talked to her boss and worked out a deal where should could work remotely. She came to me excited that her boss would let her do it and that she wanted to take the baby and go to Hawaii until her mom was too sick. She knew I couldn’t come but she said I could come visit. I told her I was very uncomfortable with her taking our months old baby away for an undefined period of time and that I was not ok with it. I told her to take two weeks trips if she needed to but that I couldn’t miss out on our only (at the time) baby’s life. I even suggested that if she must go she leave the baby with me (which wasn’t practical though since she was breastfed - I think I was trying to get her to see things from my perspective). Her mom ended up living more than 6 months so it wasn’t like it was a matter of weeks.
This initiated a giant devaluation of me and things were never the same. I only recently learned that she talked to all of her friends about how angry she was, including an old male “friend”. She didn’t speak to me about it and I had no idea she was talking behind my back to so many people. The male friend was going through his own divorce at the time and she discussed divorcing me over this with him. She started hooking up secretly with this same “friend” the second she said she wanted a divorce.
I tried to be as supportive as I could during that time. She as always emotional and from my perspective I was always there for her. Now, when she speaks about her resentment she says I was “horrible during that time” and I “fought her every step of the way”. That I was terrible for pushing back on the trash and the car. I feel like there was nothing I could do to make it better. I didn’t even realize how upset she was or that she would resentment me for years over it.
The really odd part is that before her pregnancy she and her mom weren’t that close. She used to tell me about things her mom did that she didn’t like. That her mom would adopt whatever her boyfriend’s personality was and she told me about it her mom cheating on her dad before she divorced him with a complete loser. Ironically, when I mentioned that incident last year she told me that her mom never cheated her dad. Ok, weird. But after the pregnancy they became really close which is great. But she now idealized the same person that she had resentment for and changed details of what happened I guess. Super weird.
Anyway, I realize maybe I’m just being gaslit but I really think this Hawaii situation holds such deep resentment for her. Was I out of line to express minor disappointment about the car and the trash? Or to have been worried about the safety of the trips with the infant? And of course was it reasonable to push back on her taking the baby for an unknown period of time?
I felt like her mom made the decision that was best for her and I respect that but she chose the island life over being close to her only grandkid. That was her choice and she chose what was most important to her. But my family shouldn’t have had to be torn apart because of that choice. At least that is how I see it.
Now my own mom is sick with cancer and also thousands of miles away. I wanted to take my kids to say good bye for just two days and she threw a fit. She said my mom is a dramatic and is probably seeking attention (she ended up in the ICU). Then she said I couldn’t take them and then eventually offered to come along with us. When I accepted her offer she told me I was manipulating her into going. She did go though and I was thankful. But she complained a lot and I just let it go because it is inconvenient and I know that and I respect some minor pushback. But Recently she told me that she waited years for me to “get what I deserve” and now that it’s here she can’t even let it happen. I was really surprised by that level of anger and resentment.
I wish I could tell her side of the story since I know there’s always two sides but I can’t. Shoot, I wish she would tell me her side of the story instead of just telling me she “feels” that I wasn’t supportive without going into any details. To me this is all part of trying to understand my contributions and reflect but it leaves me totally confused and trying to understand what I did and didn’t do wrong.
Any comments are appreciated!
submitted by Expert_Nebula6253 to Divorce [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 02:24 oodleofnoodles1 I (22F) am struggling with keeping mine and my best friend's (22F) friendship alive - what should I do?

Hi, all - apologies for the long post. I am willing to give more important information upon request.
I (22F) just graduated. My best friend (also 22F) did as well. We met as university roommates and we were really compatible in terms of hobbies, schedules, etc. We lived together for 2 years and have been best friends for 3. We come from different tax brackets, but that never was an issue. We even started writing fictional works inspired by our favorite fandoms, big projects that have spanned across 1-3 years. Things seemed perfect.
I feel like that is changing. I noticed something was off in October when she started seeming a bit moodier. For example, I bought her and I pit tickets to one of our favorite bands, and she didn't seem into it the day of the concert. I figured she had a rough day at work, so I left it alone, but on the trip to the venue, I asked what songs she was hoping they'd play, and got met with "it's more fun when the band plays what they want." Out of the blue from her. Again, I left it alone.
After that, I and a mutual friend (22F) have been treated with disrespect, but it's so inconsistent, I'm at a loss. I made a short film for my capstone project and best friend was hired for sound. She stopped showing up or answering my texts about it after two days--and yes, she was being paid. Like the pushover I tend to be, I didn't say a word about it because I was too scared to upset her or potentially hurt her feelings.
Another thing that happened out of the blue: she said she likes being "b*tchy" and I said "okay, as long as you don't treat me that way", to which she responded "eh", like "I'll be b*tchy to whoever I want". I was hurt, but again, I was so stunned into shock that I said nothing. Our mutual friend reached out to me separately and asked if I noticed how egotistical she had been acting, as it's hurt the both of us. They have been friends for far longer than I've been friends with either of them.
I messaged her later, asking if we could talk about what was going on. I reminded her that I care about her and our friendship, and she can be honest with me if she needs time to herself. I asked if I did/did not do something or said/did not say something that might've caused these out-of-nowhere jabs and periods of silent treatment. She reassured that everything was fine and she was just tired from homework, but after spring break, we'd hang out more.
That hardly happened. There was little improvement. She wanted to hang out a few days before graduation, so I was hoping things would change. Things got a bit worse for a period after she found out I am on the spectrum, but they settled before graduation.
We're back at the inconsistent behavior. She wrote me a very nice card about how she's grateful to be my roommate and best friend, but it doesn't feel that way. After giving her some time and letting her reach out to me on her terms, I asked if she wanted to do a virtual movie night (yesterday). She said she'd let me know, and I told her I understood if she was tired (I had just found out she got back from a trip, I thought she had been back for a few days).
No response. After 24+ hours of not hearing back, I was concerned, so I checked other social media to see if she was okay and she posted on BeReal a few hours ago. I'm back to feeling angry and disrespected, and I'm more upset with myself for not standing up for myself when I first noticed the shift. I ended up sending her a message after some time to think and not let my emotions get the best of me, but I still feel like I'm in the wrong somehow. I sent "the least you could've done was say no"
She responded quick and said "I'm sorry. I'm very exhausted and I haven't been messaging anyone. You're right, I should've said no, and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm not in a place for movie nights right now and I hoped that would get better and it didn't"
I don't know how to respond. I know I'm partially at fault for not speaking up about the previous things that bothered me, voicing my expectations, etc., but I'm so paralyzed by fear of these things. I don't want to make things worse or anger people by telling them that things bother me, and if it isn't clear already, I was brought up in a pretty emotionally immature household.
Being dumped for my film was the biggest slap in the face, it broke my heart the most. I was paying her, she knew how important it was to me to be able to create something so special. I keep clinging to that. If she felt overwhelmed or something, or even if she just didn't want to hold the mic, I would've understood if she'd just texted me to let me know.
I'm not perfect at all, I still have no idea how to "control" my autistic behaviors (special interests, particularly musicians/movies/actors, have been the focal points of my life, and I know I can be a lot when I'm constantly talking about them) and I'm trying to work on not making fixations the focus of my conversations. I know that can be tiring to listen to/discuss. I just want her to be honest with me.
With all that being said, what should I do? I'm taking time before I respond to the apology message because my emotions are a mess right now. I'm torn between doing what I always do and just letting it pass by, but I'm also at the point where I just want to drop everything. It feels like she values our writing projects more than she values a friendship with me, and this possibility has caused me to lose interest in our works. I started inching into letting go by removing her on platforms I don't use too often.
I don't want to hurt her. The inconsistency is just really getting to me.
TL;DR - Best friend of three years has been acting very inconsistent since October and started doing things that aren't typical for her, making fun of me and abandoning me without word on my most important project that I was paying her to help with, and I don't know if I should continue this friendship after communication efforts have been dismissed.
submitted by oodleofnoodles1 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 02:18 bru_no_self why advice is overrated... (how to actually unlock your potential)

I know some of you are overwhelmed by the reality of consuming advice on internet of how people actually improve and get successful, but struggle to bring it to your own reality.
I wrote this article based in my own experience in transforming myself from being a super shy, low self-esteem, deep in the shithole, playing-music-in-the-trains-to-survive-in-third-world kind of guy, into a pro musician, videogame developer, coach, with a healthy sense of esteem and nurturing meaningful relationships.
TLDR VERSION:
If TLDR version is not enough, then continue reading...

📕 Understanding Knowledge: Second-Hand vs. First-Hand

There are two types of knowledge: second-hand and first-hand.
Second-hand knowledge is what you get from teachers, mentors, consultants, influencers, or any external sources. We refer to it as "advice," and its validity depends on the credibility and reliability of the authorities that provide you the information.
On the other hand, first-hand knowledge is what you gain from direct observation or personal experience.

✖ The Limitations of Relying Too Heavily on Advice

Relying too heavily on advice and second-hand knowledge has a few limitations:
  • Limited by Language: Language may not fully express the subtleties of real-world experience, failing to account for all the variables you might encounter.
  • Prevention-oriented Mindset: This mindset focuses on preventing pain and problems. It can lead to an excessive focus on reducing the risks of action, which can reinforce a feedback loop of fear and stagnation.
  • Power-Play: Second-hand knowledge can sometimes include subtle manipulation or persuasion tactics that seek to influence your actions.
  • Lack of Context and Details: Advice often lacks context and details about actual implementation. What worked in one case might not work perfectly in your own.
Therefore, the true value of advice lies in combining it with real-life action, so you gain first-hand knowledge.

🎼 The Scarcity Principle: A Personal Story

The internet offers massive amounts of knowledge, but we have limited time to test everything.
When there's an abundance of information, we may not invest enough in a specific piece of information to fully understand it and see the results of its implementation.
Allow me to share a story:
As a child, I had only five Super Nintendo cartridges. I played those games countless times, replaying them, studying them, trying to unlock all the secrets, and exploring all the features.
The scarcity of games made me value what I had more. It allowed me to derive more joy and fulfillment from the same set of games.
So, how do we deal with the dilemma of having too many options yet not enough time and energy to process everything?
Stay with me, as I'm about to share the secret sauce to solve this situation.

⚖ Balancing Second-Hand and First-Hand Knowledge

Nassim Taleb, an investigator and essayist, writer of books like The Black Swan and Antifragile, says:
“If you take risks and face your fate with dignity, there is nothing you can do that makes you small; if you don't take risks, there is nothing you can do that makes you grand, nothing.” —Nassim Taleb
There is a healthy balance to be nurtured between second-hand vs first-hand knowledge.
Too far in the second-hand knowledge extreme, and you become a shiny object chaser looking for the latest, most attractive, risk-diminishing shortcuts.
Too far in the first-hand knowledge extreme, and you get tunnel vision, hardship, and lack of a map to help you navigate problems.
Even though both extremes are bad, the truth is that without taking action, you will never truly learn or improve your situation, not even by 1%.
The journey of growth is not a race but a marathon. Overly trying to “game” the system through second-hand knowledge shortcuts, without a strategy that is rooted in your own reality, is an excellent way to just keep you stuck where you are.
So... what is the solution for this?

đŸ—ș Crafting Your Own Reality Map

To take action and take risks in an informed and systematic way, to solidify that second-hand knowledge into first-hand knowledge, to gain real understanding of the hidden truths that are revealed by actually taking action and getting real-life experience.
By taking action in a consistent way, you are crafting your own reality map.
This map is the core foundation of your untransferable wisdom.
The wisdom of the masters, of the GOATs, is never based on second-hand knowledge. It’s always based on first-hand knowledge.
Wisdom is what eventually gives you super-natural intuition and super-natural results. Consider Arnold Schwarzenegger, Paco de Lucia, Bruce Lee, Mike Tyson— all the GOATs you can even think of.
It’s not necessarily about the tactics and techniques they use, and not even about the amount of knowledge in TB they had located in their brain

But about the highly accurate and relevant experiential map they created for themselves after taking MASSIVE action and putting themselves out there, doing experiments, facing all types of challenges, all types of loss, and deliberately studying their results with curiosity and discernment.
This activity of crafting your own map is the single highest ROI activity when engaging in any kind of mastery process. But, there is a good reason we resist crafting our own maps

Getting into the unknown, and exploring things on our own can be scary.

🙀 Overcoming the Fear of the Unknown

We can diminish that fear with second-hand maps, with help from mentors that went through similar situations, but the truth is that what you will encounter will always be different from what you were told.
Because you are unique, your context is unique, and your present moment is unique.
You will need to deal with the pain of taking action and seeing what happens with your own eyes.
Crafting your own map is a necessity.
And the only way to do it is by taking action and pursuing first-hand knowledge.

🔎 The Process of Gaining First-Hand Knowledge

But how does it look to actually look for this knowledge?
First-hand knowledge is obtained by getting in the field, taking action, and gathering reference experience.
Reference experience is the evidence that helps you build your own judgment about what works and doesn’t work for you.
The process looks something like this:
  1. Let’s say you want to learn sales. You investigate a little bit, do a course, get second-hand knowledge, and prepare yourself.
  2. You set an efforts-based goal. You propose to yourself to do X amount of sales calls and gather all the reference experience you can from this.
  3. You take action and actively document the actions you take, the results you get, so you can review it and study it.
    • What went well/wrong.
    • How far did you get in the sales call.
    • If you actually closed the call.
    • If you choked at some objection.
    • Other recurrent problems.
  4. After an iteration of this, you would be getting real feedback from reality, that will help you adjust your approach to your context in a more appropriate way.
After gathering enough reference experiences, you will obtain an amount of first-hand, real-life, cross-sensorial, and embodied learning that is not possible to replace by ANY book, course, or mastermind.
This is why advice is overrated.
When inside this paradigm, we don’t talk about victory or failure, we talk only about reference experiences. It's a reframe that encourages you to take action and see what happens.

đŸ’„ Aim, Ready, Fire

Normally, we do an “Aim, Ready, Fire” approach, but this can trap us in endless aiming. We get stuck in the “Aim” part, looking for advice, looking for tricks, shortcuts, tips.
We place too much emphasis on “aiming,” “gathering knowledge,” or “analyzing,” but actual experience is king.
Have you met those who read a lot and possess vast second-hand knowledge, yet lack practical results and wisdom?
People stuck in the "aim, aim, aim" stage are like those planning to go and eat a cake, without actually doing so.
You need to eat the cake.

đŸ€Ż The Truth About Action

The truth that nobody tells you is that there is no perfect way to create a business, a lifestyle, meaning, pursue passions, travel, manage time, meditate, or whatever.
It's not about finding the perfect tool or technique, but about taking action and accumulating reference experiences that allow you to create your own map, based on your own experience and understanding.
Don’t get me wrong, second-hand knowledge is still useful
 Its primary use should be to create a sense of certainty in chaos and push you forward to get some results.
Also, it can be used to prevent some mistakes, correct some aspects of your approach, gather inspiration, and even open your mind to possibilities you didn’t consider.
But without action, without exercising courage, without facing the unknown
 you will not see results. Period.
The good part is that taking action gets easier with time. After you do your first deliberate challenges, you realize that taking conscious risks and moving despite fear won't kill you.

đŸŒ± Personal Growth Through Action

My most transformative experience on this subject was related to dating and socializing. As a kid, I was super shy and struggled with basic social dynamics... I had to learn to speak out loud, show confidence, set boundaries, and express my feelings to girls I liked.
I was too attached to the outcome, and my self-esteem was extremely low.
At some point, I decided to start reading books about sexuality, attraction, socializing, dating, and self-esteem. This was obviously second-hand knowledge, but it opened to me a world I didn’t know even existed. I thought that I was broken, that I was objectively ugly, and that there wasn’t a possibility to actually transform myself.
Gathering courage from these resources and collecting some basic tactics, I began to approach girls I liked (or didn’t like), knowing that those reference experiences would allow me to learn what was actually possible.

✖ Facing Rejection

Facing rejection day in and day out was my first major self-development and transformation experience. I gathered a LOT of reference experience by doing this, and this first-hand knowledge completely transformed my personality.
I literally wasn’t the same person
After that. Former friends wouldn’t recognize me.
But the only way I could expose myself to the pain of taking action and getting rejected, was to view this through the lens of gathering a lot of reference experiences. I was motivated and curious to "see what happens." My main motivation wasn't to "get laid" or to be a "Chad," but to see what was on the other side.
What else was possible? How far can I get with this?
This curious approach was key to make things easier and not make a big deal of all the “negative feedback” I was getting. Being able to separate this feedback from my self-worth was a key part of what actually transformed me.

đŸ’ȘđŸ» Embrace Discomfort and Grow

This mindset of viewing your efforts as a way of collecting "reference experiences" reduces your resistance when starting something new. You'll be more willing to do "stupid things," because you'll be motivated to "see" how far you can go, and what happens next, and your brain will automatically gather that information and learn and optimize itself.
Even though most of us take action based on material or emotional motivations, like getting money, being successful, and feeling “happy,” I think that ultimate satisfaction can never come from any outcome.
Ultimate satisfaction can only come through nurturing a devotional relationship with your own growth process. Being able to enjoy it for what it is, with its ups and downs and all its evolving reality, is, I think, one of the cornerstones of going with your true flow.
Your ultimate fulfillment comes from learning, from immersing yourself in this polishing process, and enjoying how the patterns start to clarify themselves.

🌊 Surrendering To The Flow

Eventually, you reach a point of mastery where you are not a victim of the circumstances anymore, but you are a wise observer that is able to relate to what is unfolding in a wholesome way.
Any of this wouldn't be possible without taking a proactive approach in gathering reference experiences, committing to your practice, and making conscious changes in your approach iteration by iteration.
It's not a matter of surrendering yourself to the flow of doing stuff just for the sake of it. Taking action really reflecting about what you're doing can keep you stuck for years, so it's not an intelligent approach either. (And it’s a trap I have fallen into too many times)
Using this concept of reference experience unlocks a psycho-technology that will help you do the craziest things, the things that scare you the most, because you will understand how the "outcome" often doesn't weigh as much as the process and the learning you gain from it.
This mindset shift can help you overcome fear, take risks, and truly grow as a person.
...Ultimately, your fulfillment is a matter of perspective, and not of material or emotional outcome...
Thank you for reading.
submitted by bru_no_self to selfimprovement [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 01:42 Sweet-Count2557 How To Travel With A 5 Year Old?

How To Travel With A 5 Year Old?
How To Travel With A 5 Year Old?
Traveling with a 5 year old isn't easy. It can be both daunting and overwhelming, but it doesn't have to be! So How To Travel With A 5 Year Old?
With the right tips and tricks, you can make traveling with your little one an exciting adventure they won't soon forget. As parents who've traveled around the world with our children since birth, we know how difficult (and rewarding!) this experience can be. We'd like to share what we've learned about family travel – specifically when it comes to traveling with a 5-year-old – so that you too can create memories to last a lifetime.
The juxtaposition of exhaustion from planning every detail versus exhilaration from seeing new places through the eyes of a child is something all families should experience. The challenge lies in finding ways to balance these two opposing forces while keeping everyone safe and happy along the way. Being prepared for anything will go far towards ensuring your well-being as well as making sure your kiddo has the best time possible during your travels.
We'll offer up advice on everything from packing lists and snacks to entertainment options that are sure to keep them busy no matter where you're going or how long you plan on being gone. Whether you're taking a short road trip across town or exploring international destinations by plane, train, or boat - there's lots of information here that will help ease any worries and leave more room for fun! So let's get started

Preparing For The Trip
Traveling with kids can be a daunting task, but it doesn't have to be. Planning ahead is key for any successful family vacation and will help ensure that everyone has an enjoyable time. When planning a trip with a five-year-old, there are several important things you should consider to make the experience as stress-free and fun as possible.
Before your departure, research your destination so you know what activities or attractions would best suit your child's age and interests. This will give you ideas of where to go and what to do while traveling with your little one. You may even want to look into kid-friendly restaurants or other accommodations available at your destination. It’s also wise to pack plenty of snacks and drinks, as well as toys or books they like - this way they won’t get bored during long car rides or plane trips!
Finally, when preparing for the journey, don’t forget about safety – both on land and in water. Make sure all necessary paperwork such as passports or birth certificates is up-to-date before the trip begins! Be sure to bring along appropriate swimwear (for swimming pools/beaches) and life jackets if necessary - especially if visiting oceans or lakes. Taking these precautionary steps will ensure that both parents and children feel comfortable throughout their travels together!
Choosing The Right Destination
When planning a trip with your 5-year-old, choosing the right destination is key. It's important to consider what activities they'll enjoy and whether they’re suitable for their age. To ensure everyone has an enjoyable time, think about destinations that have plenty of attractions tailored specifically toward kids. If you choose wisely, it could be one of the most memorable trips ever!
One way to select the perfect location is by looking at travel reviews from families who've already been there. They can provide detailed insights into how accommodating different places are for young children. Reading these will help you make more informed decisions on which sites are worth visiting and where to stay. This can save you lots of hassle when traveling with a 5 year old in tow!
It's also wise to research if any museums or other educational facilities offer special programs for kids. These typically involve interactive stories told through playtime activities such as puppet shows, crafts, and games. Learning about history in this manner can really capture a child's imagination- and yours too! Allowing them to explore a new place while having fun makes getting away even more worthwhile.
No matter where you decide to go, just remember that creating amazing family memories should always come first! A well-thought-out plan combined with carefree moments spent together will guarantee unforgettable experiences along the way - something both parents and children alike will treasure forever.
Packing Essentials For A 5-Year-Old
Traveling with a 5-year-old can seem like an intimidating task, but it doesn't have to be. With the right packing essentials and planning ahead of time, you can make sure your mini traveler stays happy throughout the journey.
The first thing to consider is comfort — remember that even if you're only traveling for a short period of time, kids still need their creature comforts from home. Here's what should always go in your little one's bag:
A favorite stuffed animal or blanket
A change of clothes
Snacks tailored to their tastes
Something fun (like books or games) to keep them occupied during long trips
TipsBuy a new Toy, especially for the trip, and revealed it just after Boarding the aircraft to gain 30 minutes of distraction during the most stressful phase of the flight.
It's also important not to forget about yourself! Make sure you bring items for your own comfort too so that you won't be distracted by discomfort while on the road. This will help ensure a smooth trip overall and make sure everyone enjoys themselves.At the end of the day, travel with a 5-year-old requires planning, patience, and understanding – three things that every family needs when hitting the open road together. With these tips in mind and some extra preparation before embarking on your adventure, even the most novice traveler will find success when exploring as a family unit.
Keeping Kids Occupied During Travel
Traveling with a 5-year-old can be an adventure - and it brings its own unique challenges. One of the biggest ones involves how to keep them occupied during travel, whether that's in a car or on a plane. Thankfully, there are some great strategies you can use to ensure your child stays entertained while they're en route to their destination.
ActivitySupplies NeededColoring/Activity BooksCrayons/Markers / Stickers/StampsStorytelling GamesPaper & Pencils for Drawing PicturesWord Puzzles & QuizzesNotepad for Writing Answers Down
To start off, coloring books, activity books, stickers, stamps, and crayons or markers provide hours of fun for kids (and parents!) alike. Additionally, storytelling games like playing "I Spy" or creating stories together can be very enjoyable not only for children but also for adults who may find themselves reminiscing about their own childhood days. Even something as simple as word puzzles or quizzes can help pass the time quickly - all you need is a notepad and pencil to write down any answers!
When traveling with small children, it’s important to remember that everyone has different needs when it comes to entertainment. Some may prefer more active activities such as drawing pictures or building block towers while others might enjoy quieter pursuits such as reading books or listening to audiobooks. Regardless of what type of activity works best for your family dynamic, the goal should always be to make sure everyone is having a positive experience overall. Taking into account these tips will make traveling with a 5 year old much smoother and more enjoyable!
Tips For Long Road Trips
Long road trips with a five-year-old can be an adventure, but it also requires some planning. Here are some tips to keep your family's journey smooth and enjoyable for everyone involved:
Pack plenty of snacks, drinks, and activities that will keep them entertained during the drive.
Take frequent breaks along the way - stops at parks or rest areas allow them to stretch their legs and get out all that extra energy.
Bring books, coloring pages, or other activities they can use in the car if you're stuck in traffic or waiting times. It'll help pass the time more quickly!
Invest in a tablet loaded with movies, TV shows, or educational games they can play while on the go. This helps make long drives much less stressful for both parent and child alike.
Have fun together - sing songs, tell stories, and create memories as you travel down the highway together!
Remember to take it slow when possible too; there’s no need to rush through any part of this precious experience with your little one. Give yourself permission to savor every moment of quality time spent bonding with each other—you won't regret it! To ensure a stress-free journey from start to finish, bring everything you need so that those inevitable bumps in the road don't turn into major detours from your destination.
Staying Healthy And Safe On Vacation
It's like packing for the ultimate game of survival: you want to make sure your family has everything they need to remain healthy and safe during their travels. Taking a vacation with kids can be an adventure, but it can also bring stress if you don't plan ahead. Here are some tips on how to keep your little ones in good health while away from home:
Pre-Vacation Planning During Vacation Post-Vacation CareGet immunizations up-to-dateBring hand sanitizer & wipesCheck for bed bug bites after returning homePack medications & medical suppliesClean hotel room upon arrivalThrow away used items that may carry germs (towels, pillows)Research any special vaccinations needed at the destinationKeep hydratingWash clothes when back homeVisit a doctor before departureAvoid public pools/lakes without supervisionWatch out for signs of jet lag
Preparation is key! Before leaving, make sure all necessary vaccines or boosters are taken care of - especially if traveling abroad - as well as gather any essential medicines or medical supplies needed. This includes sunscreen and insect repellent – two must-haves when exploring new places! Doing research on what kind of illnesses might be found in certain areas will help inform the kinds of precautions you should take too. Once you arrive at your destination, ensure that everyone washes their hands regularly and uses hand sanitizer often; this is particularly important when visiting unfamiliar places such as museums or amusement parks. It’s also wise to clean surfaces in the hotel room immediately following check-in; many people forget about this step which can lead to bacteria accumulating over time. Lastly, staying hydrated throughout the trip is paramount because dehydration can quickly put a damper on fun activities planned for each day.
When returning from vacation, pay attention to those telltale signs of illness caused by exposure to different environments such as joint pain, fever, rash or stomach issues. Additionally, inspect all luggage carefully upon arriving back home since bed bugs have become increasingly common among travelers these days - yikes! Throw away any items that were used while traveling and wash all clothing pieces thoroughly once inside the house again– no one wants unwanted visitors tagging along post-vacation! Finally, due to possible changes in sleeping patterns experienced while flying between time zones, parents should be mindful of potential side effects associated with jet lag so kids get enough rest until they're adjusted again.
Staying safe and healthy on vacation doesn’t require much effort considering there are plenty of resources available online plus accredited travel agents who specialize in family trips – use them! Knowing what vigilance steps to take prior to departure pays off because nothing beats having peace of mind knowing that everyone stays comfortable and protected during their journey together.
Dealing With Jet Lag
Traveling with a 5 year old can be an exciting experience, but it's not without its challenges. Jet lag is one of them! It doesn't have to ruin your trip though - here are some tips for helping your family cope:
Start adjusting their sleep schedule in the days leading up to your departure. This will make it easier when you arrive at your destination.
Once you’re there, let your little one take short naps during the day and keep them active during the daylight hours as much as possible. This can also help adjust their body clock more quickly.
Avoid sugary snacks or caffeine right before bedtime, which can disrupt their sleep cycle.
By following these simple steps, your kiddo should start feeling better soon after landing in their new time zone. With patience and understanding from everyone involved, jetlag won’t prevent you from having an amazing adventure together!
Making Kids Feel At Home Away From Home
Ah, the joys of traveling with a 5 year old. No matter how much we plan and prepare for our family trip, there's no denying that it can be quite daunting! But let me tell you: if you put in the effort to make sure they feel at home away from home, your little one will thank you later - and so will you!
First things first: pack some familiar items from their bedroom or playroom. This may include favorite toys, books, and blankets - whatever makes them comfortable and helps them settle into unfamiliar surroundings. We often forget about the mundane but necessary things such as nightlights and sound machines too; these are invaluable when it comes to soothing children who don't sleep well on holiday. Don't forget to encourage them to bring along any special souvenirs they've collected over the years too; nothing says 'I'm home' like being surrounded by cherished keepsakes.
Next up are activities: look into what attractions are available nearby that cater specifically towards young travelers – chances are, they'll love exploring new places just as much as adults do (maybe even more!). Activities should be age-appropriate yet still fun enough to keep kids entertained throughout the day. Scheduling regular meals together also ensures everyone stays happy during meal times and builds an atmosphere of familiarity within your group dynamic; something which always feels comforting after a long day out sightseeing.
In short? Traveling with a 5 year old doesn't have to be scary; all it takes is a little bit of planning ahead to ensure that your child knows where they stand in this new place - making sure they feel welcomed, safe, and secure before anything else. With this kind of preparation, your whole family should enjoy a wonderful holiday experience!
Exploring The Local Area With Kids
Once you've arrived at your destination and made the kids feel comfortable in their new environment, it's time to explore! Traveling with a five-year-old can be daunting if you don't know where to start - but fear not. Here are some great tips for exploring the local area with kids:
First of all, plan ahead. Research kid-friendly attractions nearby such as parks or museums before leaving home so that you have an idea of what activities are available once you arrive. Make sure to check opening times and any restrictions on age limits, entry fees, etc., so that everyone is prepared once they hit the ground running.
Secondly, make it fun! Kids learn best when they're having fun - so why not turn your exploration into a game? Set small challenges like finding certain landmarks or collecting interesting items along the way; this will help keep them engaged while also teaching them about their surroundings. Finally, take plenty of breaks throughout the day. Letting your five-year-old rest and refuel regularly will ensure that they stay energized for the whole adventure!
Exploring the local area doesn't have to be stressful; with a little bit of planning and some creative ideas, there's no limit to how much fun you can have together! So take a deep breath and get ready for an unforgettable experience – one that both parent and child won't soon forget.
Building Memories Together On Vacation
Taking a trip with your five-year-old is an exciting adventure that can create lasting memories. It's the perfect time to explore new places and experiences together. To make sure you have a successful vacation, there are some tips for ensuring a great experience for both of you:
First, plan activities ahead of time. Make sure they're age-appropriate and include something each of you will enjoy doing. Don’t forget to research local attractions — museums, theme parks, zoos, etc. — in advance so your child has plenty of options once you arrive at your destination. Consider booking tickets or making reservations beforehand as well; it'll save you from long lines later!
Second, involve your child in the planning process. Let them help choose where to go and what sights to see on the way there. This allows them to take ownership of their vacation and also builds excitement leading up to departure day. Plus, when kids know what to expect each day they feel more secure and engaged throughout the trip.
Finally, be flexible during travel days and while out exploring new places together. Leave room in the schedule for spontaneity since anything can happen when traveling with children — especially young ones! And remember that small moments often become treasured memories down the road — like stopping for ice cream after dinner or taking a detour just because it looks interesting — so don't be afraid to embrace unexpected surprises along the way!
Planning Age-Appropriate Activities
Traveling with a five-year-old can be both rewarding and challenging. Before you go on your family vacation, research age-appropriate activities that will keep your little one engaged while also sparking curiosity in new places. Here are some tips for planning an itinerary full of fun activities for the whole family!
First, plan activities based on what interests your child. For example, if they're into dinosaurs, search for attractions like museums or parks where they'll get to learn about them. Or if they love animals, look for zoos or farms nearby. This way you can make sure everyone enjoys themselves without compromising on quality time together as a family.
Second, consider the physical aspect of activities when choosing things to do on vacation. Five-year-olds have boundless energy and need outlets for it - so opt for things like hiking trails, swimming pools, or playgrounds where they can burn off some steam in a safe environment. You could even plan days at amusement parks or waterparks where they'll explore games and rides tailored specifically to kids their age.
Finally, invest in experiences over material objects during vacations with children this age. That means making memories through interactive exhibits rather than buying souvenirs that may just end up collecting dust at home later on down the road. Your little one will appreciate being able to relive the excitement of these adventures years after the trip has come to an end!
Navigating Different Time Zones
Navigating different time zones within a 5 year old can be tricky, but it doesn't have to ruin your travel experience. The key is to make sure you understand how the time zone shifts will affect them and plan accordingly. First and foremost, try to stay on the same schedule as much as possible throughout your travels. This means that if you are in an area where daylight savings changes occur frequently during the summer months, you should pass this information on to your child so they know when their body clock needs to adjust for these changes.
Second, keep track of what day it is wherever you are - even if it's not the same date at home! Keeping track of which days we had traveled through was a great way for my daughter to recognize our progress while away from home; she felt more connected by knowing just exactly where we were. This gave her security that she won’t get lost or left behind somewhere along the journey – especially important since kids tend to feel insecure in unfamiliar surroundings. It also made her curious about all things new and exciting around us!
Finally, try breaking up long flights into smaller segments whenever possible. If there's no other option than taking a direct flight then break it up mentally by doing activities together like reading books, playing games or watching movies (especially age-appropriate ones!). Explaining the concept of flying across multiple time zones helped her understand why sometimes we arrive at our destination earlier than expected and reassured her that everything else would eventually fall back into place. With a little knowledge and preparation ahead of your trip, navigating different time zones with a 5 year old can be done seamlessly and enhance everyone's overall experience greatly!
Documenting Your Journey Through Photos And Videos
Preserving precious memories of your travels with a five-year-old is easy. With the right tools and techniques, you can document your journey in photos and videos that will last for years to come.
First off, be sure to pack enough memory cards and extra batteries so you’ll never miss an opportunity to capture special moments throughout your trip. This might seem like an obvious tip, but it’s worth repeating! Making sure you have plenty of space available on your camera or phone ensures that each moment is documented without worrying about running out of storage.
Next up – practice patience while shooting pictures and videos with your child. You won't get those perfect shots every time, but don't despair – take lots of different angles and perspectives when capturing images with kids involved; this way you can pick and choose which ones turn out best. Taking the time to place yourself low down at their level often gives the most natural results as well – plus it helps create more meaningful connections between parent and child during photo-taking sessions!
Capture candid memories too – not just posed family portraits! Focus on everyday life experiences along the way: conversations being had around meals, funny faces they make while exploring new places, or even small details like footprints in sand or sunsets reflecting off the water. These small details are what make all the difference when documenting a story from start to finish - these little glimpses into daily life become lasting reminders of how far we've traveled together as a family.
Finding Kid-Friendly Accommodations
When traveling with a 5-year-old, finding the right accommodation can make all the difference. You want to be sure that your little one is comfortable and safe during your trip. Fortunately, there are plenty of kid-friendly accommodations available to choose from.
The first option you may consider is a hotel or resort that caters specifically to families with young children. These establishments typically offer larger rooms equipped with cribs and other amenities for kids such as play areas, swimming pools, and game rooms. Many also provide special activities like arts and crafts classes just for kids, making it easy for parents to relax while their children stay entertained.
Another great way to ensure a family-friendly experience is by booking a Vacation rental. With thousands of properties listed across most major cities in the world, you’re likely to find something suitable for your needs. Not only do these rentals usually come fully furnished but many owners will even supply helpful extras like toys, books, games, and more to keep your child engaged throughout your stay. Plus they often have access to communal spaces where you can meet other travelers who share similar interests - perfect if you're looking for some travel companionship!
Wherever you decide to stay on your next vacation with the kids, remember that having fun together is what matters most! A good night's rest and quality time spent exploring new places makes memories that last a lifetime - so go ahead and get out there!
Post-Vacation Reflection
Traveling with a five-year-old is both an adventure and a challenge, but the rewards are great. Now that our holiday has come to an end, there's much to reflect on about our experience.
The first thing we've realized is that preparation is key for any successful family vacation. We spent time researching destinations, discussing expectations, and packing everything from books to snacks before departure. This helped us avoid surprises during our trip and gave us peace of mind.
We also learned the importance of planning activities in advance. Knowing what activities were available near where we stayed meant no stressful moments trying to figure out what to do next; all we had to do was find something suitable for everyone, including our 5 year old!
As parents, it was wonderful seeing how excited and engaged our daughter became during this journey. She experienced new places, foods, and cultures alongside us - all while broadening her horizons. It made us realize that travel should be a regular part of family life if possible - so it’s already time to start thinking about our next destination!
Frequently Asked Questions
What Is The Best Way To Keep My 5 Year Old Entertained During A Flight?
Traveling with a five-year-old can be quite a challenge! You want your little one to have an enjoyable experience, but being stuck on a plane for hours isn't always fun. So how do you ensure that your trip is pleasant and entertaining? The answer lies in finding the best way to keep your five-year-old entertained during a flight.
When it comes to keeping a five-year-old occupied midair, there are lots of great ideas out there! From coloring books and puzzles to podcasts and movies, there’s no shortage of options. One thing I highly recommend is making sure they bring their own backpack full of goodies. This will give them something to explore while also providing them with the opportunity to choose what activities they'd like to participate in throughout the journey.
Another important tip when traveling with children is planning ahead. Try researching different games or activities that might work well during long flights so you're prepared before take off. If possible, download some shows or games onto your device - this will help avoid any buffering issues due to spotty internet connection. Additionally, break up the time by having snack breaks or walking around if allowed on board – anything that keeps them engaged and stimulated during those long hours of travel!
It's key to remember that every child is unique and may require different kinds of activities depending on their age group and interests. With proper preparation and creative thinking, though, parents can make flying with their kids as stress-free as possible; allowing everyone involved to truly enjoy the adventure together!
How Can I Keep My 5 Year Old Safe When Visiting A New Destination?
When travelling to a new destination, safety is of utmost importance for any family. For those with young children, this means being extra vigilant and taking steps to ensure their child's safety in an unfamiliar place. When it comes to five-year-olds, parents must be particularly mindful about the risks associated with visiting a new location - from simple things like crossing roads safely to more complex challenges such as communicating language barriers. But there are ways that families can protect their kids while still enjoying their holiday experience.
One way to make sure your 5 year old is safe during travel is by researching the destination ahead of time. Make sure you know the local customs and laws so you can do all you can to prevent any potential hazards they may encounter at your chosen destination. Talk to your child before leaving home and explain what kind of behaviour is expected when out and about in public, especially if you’re going somewhere where English isn't widely spoken. It’s also important to stay aware of your surroundings – always keep a close eye on your little one or designate someone else who will look after them whilst you explore other areas.
For added peace of mind, check whether the hotels or accommodation options have age restrictions for each room type that would apply to your child; some places don't allow unaccompanied minors under certain ages into specific rooms or facilities – not only for legal reasons but for practical ones too (such as pool access). You should also take into consideration how far away attractions are from where you're staying - long journeys could become tiring very quickly! The last thing anyone wants is an exhausted 5 year old running around in unfamiliar territory! Ultimately, planning ahead and doing research can save stress throughout the journey and help create lasting memories that everyone can treasure forever.
By following these simple tips, families with young children will feel safer venturing off into unknown lands together knowing they have taken every precaution necessary – allowing both adults and kids alike to have fun without worrying about unnecessary danger looming over them like a cloud!
What Are Some Tips For Preventing Jet Lag In A 5 Year Old?
Traveling with young kids can be an exciting and rewarding experience, but it comes with its own set of challenges. A big one is dealing with jet lag in a 5 year old. Here are some tips to help you get the most out of your family travel adventures:
Have them adjust their sleep schedule before traveling by going to bed 15 minutes earlier each night for 6-7 days prior to departure.
During the flight, have them wear loose clothes and encourage naps if possible. Give them snacks throughout the day that are high in protein such as nuts or hummus instead of sugar filled treats like candy bars.
Try not to plan too many activities when you first arrive at your destination; allow everyone time for rest so they can acclimate more easily to the new environment.
These strategies will help ensure that your little ones - and you! - don't suffer from jet lag while on vacation. You'll want your family trip to be fun, memorable, and stress free so follow these tips and make sure your whole crew arrives feeling rested and ready for adventure. Keeping up with these guidelines will also provide parents with peace of mind knowing their children are well taken care of during long trips. With all this in mind, you're now equipped to tackle jet lag head-on!
What Should I Do If My 5 Year Old Gets Homesick When Traveling?
Traveling with children can be a challenge, and when kids are young it’s especially difficult. For parents that have to travel with a 5 year old, dealing with homesickness may be one of the biggest obstacles they face. Fortunately, there are ways to manage this inevitable emotion so your child has an enjoyable trip!
First off, it's important to remember that homesickness is normal and expected –everyone experiences it at some point in their lives and it doesn't mean anything is wrong. To help make sure your little one feels comfortable while on vacation, here are four tips:
Comfort objects: Pack something from home like a stuffed animal or blanket that will remind them of home and provide comfort during unfamiliar situations.
Talk about home: Letting your child talk about what they miss back home will often reduce feelings of being overwhelmed by everything new around them.
Keep routines consistent: If possible try to keep as many familiar routines intact (bedtime stories for example) as these moments of familiarity can go a long way in helping your child feel more secure away from home.
Show patience and understanding: Homesickness usually passes quickly if you pay attention to how your child is feeling without overreacting or worrying too much yourself; they should sense that you understand their emotional needs before any other concerns come into play.
It’s also helpful to plan activities ahead of time such as museums, parks, playgrounds etc., and involve your 5 year old when planning out the itinerary so they have something exciting to look forward to each day - this will take their mind off missing home for awhile! Be sure not to overwhelm them however; having too many attractions packed into one day could result in exhaustion which won't do anyone any favors!
At the end of the day though, sometimes all it takes is a hug from mom or dad (or both!) for those feelings of homesickness to disappear completely- no matter where you are in the world! With just a bit of extra preparation, traveling with your five year old should still be full of fun memories rather than ones filled with sadness due to being away from home.
What Are Some Activities I Can Do With My 5 Year Old That Are Both Age-Appropriate And Fun?
Traveling with a 5 year old can be both an exciting and challenging experience. To ensure that the journey is enjoyable for everyone, it’s important to plan activities that are both age-appropriate and fun for your young traveler. So what kind of activities should you do?
Take nature walks – A great way to get outside and explore! Nature walks provide lots of opportunities for learning about the environment, spotting wildlife, and discovering new things. Plus, they're easy on the budget too. Pack some snacks or even a lunch so you can make a day out of it.
Visit museums - A visit to a museum can be an educational adventure full of discovery and exploration. Many museums offer interactive exhibits tailored specifically towards children which makes them ideal places to spend quality time together while learning something new. You may even find special programs geared toward younger kids like story times or craft classes.
Check out local attractions - Whether it's going on a ride at an amusement park or exploring a nearby landmark such as a cave or aquarium, there's no shortage of interesting things to do in most cities around the world. The best part is many attractions offer discounts or free admission days making them more affordable than ever before. And don't forget all those photo ops along the way!
No matter where life takes you and your little one, there are plenty of ways to keep them entertained while also having meaningful experiences during your travels together. From nature walks to visiting local attractions, these activities will let your child discover their world in an age-appropriate manner without sacrificing any fun!
Conclusion
Traveling with a five year old can be daunting, but it doesn't have to be. With just a bit of planning and organization, you can make the experience both safe and fun for your little one! From selecting age-appropriate activities to finding ways to prevent jet lag, there are plenty of strategies that will ensure your family vacation is nothing short of amazing – so incredible you'll think time itself stopped as soon as you stepped off the plane.
The best part about traveling with kids? Seeing their eyes light up when they try something new or discover a place for the first time. It's truly magical! And if your five year old does get homesick or overwhelmed during your travels, don't forget: from unexpected detours on the way home to packing extra snacks in case of emergencies, being prepared is key for any parent who wants an unforgettable adventure.
So what are you waiting for? Grab your suitcase and pack those bags – it's time to show your adventurous little traveler how exciting the world outside can be! After all, life is too short not to explore
so let’s go see what this big beautiful planet has in store!
submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 01:21 travelingfish My JUSTNOMIL wants to visit, help with reply please

No sharing this post please.
Hello everyone! As the title says my MIL wants to visit. My LO (toddler) has a birthday coming up and she asked to give a present in person. Sounds normal, right? Ofc there's more to it. Mainly venting and background below, but I do need help with a reply to my MIL at the end if you'd like to skip.
Background: I've known my MIL for nearly 10 years. She has put in low effort to get to know me for the first 8 years and it's become even more strained in the last 2 years because I feel she thinks having a grandchild means she can do whatever she wants as a grandma. Yes, distance has played a role in some ways, but our relationship is strained due to toxic behavior. She idolizes her only son, and has made subtle and not so subtle actions and comments to make it known that I'm not as important as her children (I should also note that I'm the only DIL, and none of her other children have dated anyone for years. We are also the only ones to have a child/pregnant.) Some examples, one Christmas she gave me a mug with photos of DH's face all cut out on it and asked him while giggling "Son, what do you think of the gift for DIL? Don't you just hate me?!" She never asked me if I liked it or tried to see what I may like. Another time she opened my mail addressed to me in my name, and claimed she opened it because she thought it was a gift receipt for a gift she sent me (she never sent me a gift, still waiting for it lol). When I called her out on this it lead to a conversation that she wants to be closer but I'm not a daughter or friend, so she doesn't know what relationship to have. She could've started by wishing me a happy mother's day to the mother of her only grandchild, but that would be silly of her! So I know she has no intentions of having a relationship with me. I'm just purely access to her grandchild.
Many of her comments are usually backhanded or mixed in with normal conversations, where I don't realize in the moment how hurtful they are until I take time to process afterwards after feeling off put by them, so in the past I've had a hard time standing up for myself in the moment. They were also the type of comments my DH couldn't see at first as hurtful and could easily give her an excuse for ("oh she didn't mean it like that,...she meant it this way..."). Now it's much better with DH seeing his parents (FIL is even worse, he rated me a 5/10 because he doesn't know who I am as a person after 10 years) actions as hurtful and he's working on standing up more, even though it is hard for him because he's a non conflict personality/people pleaser.
Everything has changed once my first LO was born. I've found my backbone and DH has been a much bigger support. We live across the country from my in laws (which my FIL says all the time he doesn't want to live in the same city as his children) so I've only seen MIL about once a year since we moved back from abroad. FIL has never met my LO and has no desire to, but gets upset if we don't let MIL come visit when she wants to. She's the type of MIL that thinks because in the past she can visit her son or her other children whenever she wants to that she can do the same now (she's booked tickets to visit us before without asking/confirming dates to visit).
Since my LO was born, it is very obvious MIL is regretting or frustrated that she can't have the relationship she wants with my LO. I put my foot down a lot with her because to me, my LO won't grow up to see this is how you treat someone and consider it normal. He will learn that when people (even if they are related) are hurtful, you are allowed to set up boundaries to protect yourself and only allow healthy relationships. With this, I've set up more boundaries and MIL emotionally can't handle it, with my husband backing me up. She has thrown tantrums because she doesn't receive enough videos or photos of my LO or when she's not the first one to see them. For my LO's first birthday we asked for no gifts (we had a "virtual party" since everyone lives far away from us) and live in a small apartment. She sent several gifts with a note reading "sorry not sorry sent the gifts xx" and when we called her out on it she cried saying we are taking the joy away from her from being a grandparent. I've learned that no matter how much we explain or try to reason our side to her, she doesn't care and even uses that to weaponise my words against me. For example, when I explained to her why we can't just send photos on a whim to her because we have a lot going on and the difficulties with PPD etc, she told me "I'm so sorry you're struggling with parenthood. I can only sympathize a small portion when I was briefly a single mother for 2 years." 🙄
Currently: My MIL wants to visit. It's been over a year since she last visited. If it were totally up to me, I would say no 100%, but I do have my DH to think about and am allowing her to be here 1 day (I'm fine with DH spending another day with her, but LO and I will only see her 1 day), working around my LO's schedule. DH is completely on board and supportive. He even said I can say no, but I don't want him to resent me because we do plan on moving countries in the next few years where he will see them even less. I'm also due to give birth in a few months and will not be allowing visitors for a long period afterwards because it's only my husband and I, and I want to make sure I have a full recovery while taking care of 2 kids under 3 without dealing with toxic inlaws. So I figured let's get this visit over with now, as long as things are on my terms.
So I would like help with my reply to make it firm but also gets the point across. I have a tendency to ramble (overthinking and being a conditioned people pleaser doesn't help) and these days I just don't care about being nice anymore lol, so if it needs to be nicer let me know. TIA from an exhausted pregnant momma ❀
"Hi MIL. If you'd like to visit we are free -date- before I enter my 3rd trimester. LO and I need to get flu shots, so pending on that and as long as everyone is healthy we can keep that date open. If you/FIL or anyone gets sick prior, we will have to cancel (I've had gastro 4x this pregnancy and my immune system is compromised). Will you and FIL be visiting or just you?"
submitted by travelingfish to JUSTNOMIL [link] [comments]


2024.06.10 01:12 John-Sedgewick-Hyde Kids abused at MO boarding school have long sought justice. He's determined to bring it

Kids abused at MO boarding school have long sought justice. He's determined to bring it
Transcript:
PIEDMONT, Mo. -- His voice gets heavy and even starts to crack when he talks about the abuse claims that have engulfed an unlicensed boarding school in his southeast Missouri county.
“I didn’t know,” Wayne County Sheriff Dean Finch says, referring to former students’ yearslong allegations of physical and mental abuse at the school. “I didn’t.”
When in 2014 Finch scooped up a runaway from Lighthouse Christian Academy, the skin on his feet starting to peel away from frostbite, the teen didn’t divulge any abuse. Neither did a boy who ran away from the Wayne County boarding school three years later, the sheriff said. Same thing with the boy who ran away two years ago.
“Kids didn’t say a word,” said Finch, who has been the sheriff since 2013. “I tried to get it out of them, why they were running away. But they never said anything.”
Boys would tell him, the sheriff said, that they were forced to do jumping jacks, intense exercises and stand at the wall for hours as punishment. Or they just didn’t like the school run by ABM Ministries because staff members were mean. But nothing they shared with him, he said, led him to believe a Missouri law had been broken.
Until earlier this year.
After five boys ran away from the secluded boarding school near Piedmont over a three-week period in January, one boy told him something “I could sink my teeth into,” Finch said. And once the sheriff spoke to a former student from more than 15 years ago, “all the dominos started to fall,” he said.
Since March, he’s traveled to 10 states, interviewed about 25 former students and spoken to many others on the phone. In the coming days, he plans to speak with dozens more. Now in their 20s and 30s, many of these men and women are telling the sheriff what they’ve told The Star. They said staff members put them in headlocks and at times hit them, that food and water were withheld and they were made to exercise for hours and work in extreme temperatures.
Others described what they call “emotional torture” at the school owned by Larry and Carmen Musgrave.
“I’m going to investigate this thoroughly,” Finch told The Star in a series of interviews over the past two months. “Every victim will be interviewed. Every victim will have their say, they will be able to tell their story.
“Until the end, I am here. And if there’s charges there, those charges will be filed.”
In early March, Larry and Carmen Musgrave were charged with kidnapping and another staffer faces one count of physical abuse of a student. The sheriff said he expects additional charges.
The couple pleaded not guilty and their attorney did not respond to multiple calls for comment.
Larry Musgrave denied that students were mistreated or abused at the school, Finch said.
“Whenever we interviewed him, he laughed about it,” Finch said. “And he said, ‘That is not going on. That never happened.’”
Soon after the Musgraves were arrested, Lighthouse closed. The husband and wife were released on their own recognizance and required to wear GPS monitoring devices.
“We’re very happy and proud that (the sheriff) is standing up and saying this is wrong,” said Rebecca Randles, a Kansas City attorney who has handled many boarding school abuse cases. “We’ve never had that response from any law enforcement before.”
Indeed, when it comes to boarding schools, many say Missouri hasn’t seen a sheriff like Finch. And they hope his actions will spur real, lasting change in a state that had become a haven for unlicensed boarding schools during the past few decades.
Robert Knodell, director of the Missouri Department of Social Services, said his agency embraces the partnership with Wayne County authorities.
“It’s not always been the case everywhere we’ve had these cases,” Knodell said. “Sometimes local law enforcement is cooperative, and sometimes they’re not. 
 The ability to address ongoing issues is much greater when there’s full cooperation across the spectrum.”
The Star began investigating Missouri’s unlicensed boarding schools and abuse allegations at Circle of Hope Girls Ranch and Agape Boarding School — located in southwest Missouri’s Cedar County and now closed —in late summer of 2020. Former students at those schools said they had told local authorities for years about the abuse, but nothing ever happened.
Those who attended Lighthouse Christian Academy, most of whom were there before Finch became sheriff, said they hoped to draw attention to the school years ago by posting testimonials on social media. They urged families online to not send their kids there, but the pleas never gained much traction.
Until Finch started investigating.
“We’ve never had anyone pull so hard for us,” said Michael McCarthy, who attended Lighthouse Christian Academy from August 2010 to August 2012. “It feels surreal because we had tried. It’s almost like why now? 
 It’s almost hard to believe.”
Child advocates have also been surprised by the actions in Wayne County.
“It’s a complete 180 from what we experienced when the schools in Cedar County were revealed,” said Jessica Seitz, executive director of the Missouri Network Against Child Abuse, formerly known as Missouri KidsFirst. “The response of seeking out justice and believing kids is exactly what we would hope for.
“Law enforcement is one of the parties responsible for protecting kids from abuse.”
Concerns of conflict had surrounded the investigation at Agape Boarding School in Cedar County because the son-in-law of the late founder, James Clemensen, was a deputy with the sheriff’s department. That deputy, a former Agape student, had also worked at the school for years and on multiple occasions was sent there to respond to a call, The Star found.
When asked what motivates him in Wayne County, Finch, 62, pauses and speaks slowly.
“Because they’re victims,” the sheriff says, his voice breaking before he apologizes for getting emotional. “Because they were mistreated and because it happened in my county.
“I feel like my department let these kids down, although it wasn’t me. 
 They deserve better than what they got in the past. They deserve to have their story heard. And it’s just like any victim — they deserve their day in court.
“These kids, dammit, they deserve justice.”
‘Liable to freeze to death’
Finch’s cellphone rang late one frigid night in early February 2014. A call had just come in from ABM Ministries, a dispatcher told him.
A teen boy at the boarding school had run away and been gone 3 œ hours.
The grandfather of five at the time, who had been sheriff for about a year, called in deputies and alerted the fire department. Search dogs were brought in. The frigid temperatures outside filled him and others with a rising sense of urgency.
“I got a kid out here, that’s run off, out in the middle of the woods and it’s subzero weather,” Finch said of what was going through his mind that night. “He didn’t have a coat. He didn’t have anything. We got to find this boy because he’s liable to freeze to death.”
The sheriff also alerted Union Pacific Railroad, telling officials they had a missing child and “to be on the lookout.” Finch worried the boy could be on the tracks between Piedmont and Williamsville and wanted to make sure the train wasn’t “going to come flying through.”
As the railroad crew moved slowly through the area and looked for the boy, so did Finch and all those he called to help with the search.
“I had search teams in the woods all over,” the sheriff said. “We were all over. Running the roads, running through the woods, looking in the woods.”
A couple of hours into the search, Union Pacific let the sheriff know that a crew had found the boy and was transporting him to a nearby crossing. Finch was waiting with an ambulance.
The sheriff lifted the teen, who was wearing pajamas and a fleece jacket, off the train. He didn’t have any socks on and had lost his flip flops they wore at the school. He had used his jacket to wave down the train, the sheriff said.
“His feet were, in all reality, black,” Finch said. “And the skin had peeled off of them from frostbite.”
When the sheriff first encountered the young teen, he asked why he ran away. He just shook his head, the sheriff said.
“I’m assuming he was just so cold and disoriented that he didn’t talk,” Finch said.
He would try again later at the landing zone with a helicopter waiting, and as first responders tended to the teen’s injuries.
“I was trying to get him to say, ‘Why did you run away?’” Finch said. “‘Just don’t like it. Just don’t like it.’ That’s all he would say. ‘Just don’t like it.’”
The teen was airlifted to St. Louis Children’s Hospital where he was treated for severe frostbite, and according to a news article at the time, his family was told he would face a slow recovery. That article, in the Wayne County Journal Banner on Feb. 13, 2014, quoted the mother as saying she believed her son was mistreated at the school.
“She told the newspaper that her son said the physical and mental abuse was unbearable and that he felt running away was his only alternative,” the article stated.
The teen didn’t speak to the sheriff again. But his mother told a reporter that he had given a full report to the Missouri Department of Social Services.
The sheriff’s office also reported the incident to DSS, Finch said.
In the years since, other students at ABM Ministries have run. In 2017, the Wayne County Sheriff’s Department was called out again. Then again two years ago.
That’s when Finch started to look deeper and have unanswered questions.
“Something is going on here,” he said he thought about two years ago. “Something isn’t right. These kids, there is no reason for these kids to be running away. 
 But I had nothing to go on. I literally had nothing to go on.”
Until, he said, late January of this year.
Former students tell their stories
After Julianna Davis, of Alabama, heard about the boys who had run away from ABM Ministries earlier this year, she called the Missouri Highway Patrol.
For years, she and other former students had tried to let the public know about what they say they experienced at the school. Now, she thought, maybe someone in authority would listen.
At the southeast Missouri school, Davis said that she had been told not to trust law enforcement, that authorities wouldn’t believe her and other students because they were just troubled kids.
“We’ve tried this for 15 years plus,” she said. “I already kind of had the impression that nobody was gonna listen to us.”
But the patrol sergeant she spoke to did. And then he referred her to Finch.
Something Davis told the sheriff matched what a current student had told him. Because he doesn’t want to jeopardize the case, Finch won’t say what that is. But it did cause the dominos to fall and prompt the investigation that continues today.
“I knew that something had happened there,” he said. “I knew something illegal had happened to a child who was defenseless, who had been sent to this home for rehabilitation, so to speak, or whatever you want to call it. She was sent there by the parents to be helped.”
Davis also told Finch that Carmen Musgrave locked her in a room on her 18th birthday and she was kept at the school for months after. It was Davis’ experience that led to the kidnapping charges against the Musgraves.
“I’ve just been continuously impressed at how hard he’s trying to help,” Davis said of Finch. “But at the same time, surprised in the sense that like, we’ve tried this before, you know, and it just never got anywhere.”
After talking with Davis, the sheriff knew that more former students would reach out. He told dispatchers to expect a few. That grew to 10 or 15. Then 25 to 30.
“I got my 81st call this morning,” Finch said in early May. By the end of that month, he received another six or seven calls.
In-person interviews have lasted anywhere from minutes to hours, he said. A few of the former students attended the school in recent years, but the majority he’s talked with have been gone from ABM for 15 or so years.
“Now I know, looking back at the runaways that we had in the past, and doing this investigation, I now know why they didn’t say anything,” Finch said. “Because they were scared.
“It was instilled in them and drilled in their heads that unfortunately, I didn’t care about them, that they (boarding school leaders) have law enforcement in their back pocket. Well, that pocket has a big hole, and I slipped out of that pocket.”
The sheriff drove to Oklahoma in March to speak with Aralysa Baker, who went to ABM in 2005 when she was 13 and stayed for two years.
For seven hours, over two days, Baker told the sheriff what she was unable to tell an investigator who went to the school during her last year. Her great-grandparents had called Wayne County and asked authorities to do a welfare check. She told the officer she was OK because she feared what would happen if she said more.
Baker told Finch how her life had been impacted because of the school. The nightmares. The flashbacks. And the anxiety over food.
For all of her adult life, she’s feared that there wouldn’t be enough to eat. First, just for herself. And now that she’s a wife and mom, for her family.
While at ABM, she said the owners and staff used food as a punishment. When in trouble, she and other former students said staff would withhold food and sometimes they would go to bed hungry. Several students said they would have to sneak food or water at times.
Baker told the sheriff and The Star that she now hoards food. There are chips and cookies stashed behind her pots and pans. Stacks of canned goods, boxes of pasta, and macaroni and cheese in the garage. The trunk of an old Honda that doesn’t run is full of snacks.
“I always want something stashed away, squirreled away,” she said. “I need to be able to get to it quickly.”
Baker and Davis want people, especially lawmakers, to realize that Missouri must do more to keep abuse, both physical and mental, out of boarding schools in their state.
“I hope they take it seriously and change the laws to make it harder for people to abuse children and not have any consequences whatsoever,” Davis said. “And then, of course, I hope that there’s some sort of justice or closure for all of us. I have been hurt for so long. But I’ll be happy as long as it doesn’t happen again.”
‘They’re just being bull-headed’
Hours before Finch served the arrest warrants on the Musgraves, someone issued him a warning about the past.
Don’t forget about Heartland Christian Academy, he was told, a reference to a decades-old case that to this day haunts those who have tried to place regulations on religious-based boarding schools in Missouri.
Operated by the late millionaire Charles Sharpe, a prominent Republican who made his fortune after founding Kansas City-based Ozark National Life Insurance Co., the Christian school for troubled youth drew national attention in 2001. A call to the state hotline reported students were being forced to stand in ankle-to chest-deep cow manure as a punishment.
Several months later, after receiving two more allegations of abuse, authorities raided the northeast Missouri school and removed 115 children, prompting a series of lawsuits and challenges that took years to wind through the courts.
In the end, felony child abuse charges against five employees were either dropped or the staffers were acquitted. Sharpe and his school also were cleared of any wrongdoing and the state settled with Heartland, agreeing to pay extensive attorney fees and court costs.
Ever since, the Heartland case has cast a shadow over attempts to address concerns inside boarding schools — especially proposals that would require them to be licensed. A law passed in 1982 allows religious-based schools to claim an exemption from Missouri’s licensing requirement.
Randles, the Kansas City attorney who has represented the families of abused children, said the arguments against licensing don’t hold water.
“They’re just being bull-headed over this particular issue,” she said. “We’re not asking them to change their religious affiliation or to change the manner in which they teach their religion. As a matter of fact, I’m a graduate of Southwest Baptist University, and Southwest Baptist University is accredited, it’s licensed, it goes through all of the processes that are required.
“And it doesn’t change the way that Southwest Baptist University delivers its teaching. It’s still a faith-based Christian education university. It can be done.”
In response to abuse allegations at Cedar County schools, lawmakers passed legislation in 2021 to implement some oversight over religious boarding schools but shied away from requiring them to be licensed.
Boarding schools that are abusing children, Randles said, are not Christian institutions.
“That has nothing to do with Christianity,” she said. “And so there’s no reason that the state can’t act on these individuals who are acting well outside the law. Because they’re claiming and cloaking themselves under religious authority. There’s no religious authority that says you can beat children and make them eat their own vomit. There is nothing in the Bible that says anything of the sort.”
Carmen and Larry Musgrave moved their boarding school from the Tennessee and Kentucky area to Patterson in southeast Missouri in 2004, corporation records show. One former student said that the Musgraves loaded students into a blue 15-passenger van and drove them to the Show-Me State.
The Patterson site had previously been home to another controversial boarding school — Mountain Park Baptist Boarding Academy.
That school’s owners, Bob and Betty Wills, were running the Bethesda Home for Girls in Hattiesburg, Mississippi, when a former student sued Bethesda in federal court in 1982. Child welfare officials conducted an investigation, and the Willses closed the school in 1987 after a judge ordered authorities to remove students.
They headed to southeast Missouri and opened Mountain Park Baptist Boarding Academy. The school gained notoriety in 1996 when two students murdered another student because they feared he would reveal their plot to take over the school and escape.
In 2003, the school was sued in federal court by five former students and two sets of parents. They accused school officials of abusing and falsely imprisoning students. The school closed in 2004, and the Musgraves then opened Lighthouse Christian Academy on that property. Lighthouse later moved to its current location near Piedmont, and former students say they were forced to do much of the construction work.
Ginger Koller Joyner, the Wayne County prosecutor who formerly served as the Guardian Ad Litem for the 42nd Judicial Circuit, said seeing what’s happened at Lighthouse has convinced her that a licensing law is necessary to keep children safe in these schools.
“I think both my background in the juvenile system and this experience has strengthened my opinion that there really needs to be a legislative push to regulate these types of places to ensure that there’s uniformity and consistency of care across our state,” Joyner said. “I don’t think we want this anywhere in our state.”
The key, she said, will be for legislators to get involved.
“We can have every sheriff on board, we can have every prosecutor on board, but the bottom line is until we change the legislation about how these facilities are licensed, we’re not going to see the depth of change that’s needed to protect the vulnerable people,” she said.
DSS’ Knodell said he anticipates that Missouri lawmakers will “continue to consider whether they want to go down that road and take that approach.”
“Many other states have,” he said. “I think it’s time to take a close look at it. Absolutely.”
‘Trying to get them justice’
Before the runaways and subsequent investigation, Finch said he didn’t know much about other boarding schools in Missouri. He didn’t follow what happened across the state with Circle of Hope and Agape.
In his decade as sheriff, Finch’s department has called the state’s child abuse and neglect hotline multiple times, he said. And in January, after the runaways, several residents who live near ABM also reported the school. At least two of them said they were told they didn’t provide enough information to warrant an investigation.
After The Star reported that, Knodell said in March that DSS was looking into whether hotline calls about the school were properly handled over the years.
When asked the status of that internal inquiry and what, if anything, came of it, DSS said it was ongoing.
Finch hopes to eventually go to Jefferson City and talk with legislators and share his opinion that “every one of these schools should be licensed.” But first, he said he needs to remain focused on the case in his county.
The sheriff often meets with Joyner, the county prosecutor, to make sure the two are on the same page. He keeps her updated after new interviews with former students.
Joyner praised Finch for his dedication in making sure former students have the opportunity to report what they say happened to them. And she shares that motivation.
“Our law enforcement is committed, I am committed,” said Joyner, who first filled in as the county prosecutor in 2021 and took office in early 2023. “I realized that some of these students aren’t necessarily residents of our county, but they were in our county and we’re dedicated to protecting them and trying to get them justice.”
Many of the students who have come forward alleging physical and emotional abuse attended the school years ago, and their cases may no longer be inside Missouri’s statute of limitations.
“The prosecution piece is going to be, in some cases, difficult,” Joyner said. “That doesn’t mean that we’re not going to try, but you know, I have to abide by the ethics in terms of what I can prosecute. And if I can prosecute it, and believe that I can prove it, then I absolutely will.”
Early last month, Finch was preparing for another week of travel, driving to several states in his Ford F-150 to interview more former students of ABM.
“I’m headed for Colorado Springs, Vail, Colorado,” he told The Star. “And then I’m going to shoot up into Montana, Wyoming (and) come back across into Nebraska, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Illinois and there’s one other one that I’m gonna hit.”
All while he’s in the middle of running for reelection.
On that trip early last month, Finch stopped in a Chicago suburb and interviewed Inesa Kolberg, who attended ABM from late 2005 to June 2007.
“He gave one of the best hugs,” she said. “His hug was so tight, and it was just full of compassion. I didn’t cry during the interview, but (at the end) it brought me to tears because it felt so comforting.
“He has a heart of gold. He is doing God’s work. He is a true example of what a Christian is.”
Finch said what fuels him on the long days and long weeks is knowing that for so long students at ABM were told they couldn’t trust law enforcement, that he and his department were on the school’s side.
“I’m going to tell you something — that’s not me,” the sheriff said. “I don’t give a damn who you are or what your last name is. If you break the law, you break the law and I’m going to come after you.
“Now, in the end, it’s up to the jury and the system. But I am going to do my job. And I am going to bring these people to justice for these kids.”
Laura Bauer, Judy L. Thomas, The Kansas City Star on Jun 9, 2024
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2024.06.10 00:58 rbanavarro Lagged Sync

Things should allow users to sync through iCloud. I understand that when they decided to build their proprietary sync, iCloud was a subpar experience to say the least. That is no longer the case. But it's working so why change? Title is the major reason for me. When you open Things, that's when the app start syncing. It's amazing how fast it is, it's—split second. It only syncs when you open the app because Apple does not allow it to occur in background, only for a short period even if enabled background refresh. I could elaborate more on why to use iCloud sync, such as E2E encryption. But what really annoys me is the badge out of sync on others devices if I complete some task. It's also really annoying that the watch face is never in sync on my Watch, only after I open it and wait, which is actually slower due to watch limitations itself. Using iCloud it would sync in background and I would not have to see that split second sync, which I consider a subpar experience to such app.
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2024.06.10 00:24 The_Teacat So, here's the deal. (Updates, 6/9/2024.)

Going forward: * Stories involving Solar Girl, the Solarian, and Moonshine will only be canonical if they're published under the Pick-n-Μix Comix label. Same goes for almost everything else, but I've had a special thorn in my side dealing with all the pre-Pick-n-Mix stuff and what I want to do with it in regards to what is or isn't part of the overall canon and continuity, so it's important to point this part out first now that I've figured it out. * The content once belonging to the story-cycles of Supergirls In The Spotlight and The New Adventures Of Solar Girl is now going to be under the Lethericon Books label, which means they're non-canonical to everything in the current stable. * Everything under Lethericon Books is going to be a different format than the Pick-n-Mix Comix stuff. I wrote a lot of different, sometimes slower-paced and less adventurous stuff before I started finalizing the format I wanted for the main continuity and they've been in a really weird limbo of canon, but now they're under this label because that's what it's for. This'll be slower-paced, literary, chapter-by-chapter, less-focused, often very introspective, experimental storylines and extra stuff that are related to the main canon but are not themselves canonical; so, AUs like the Comix universe (a coming-of-age story I've been working on now and then where Grace and Gallo are in high school together — obviously completely incompatible with current canon, for a number of reasons), older stories like Supergirls In The Spotlight that don't fit current formatting standards for what is now the canonical works of Pick-n-Mix (and, at least in that one's case, is reprinted from much older work anyway, so nothing new in regards to new content there), and literary or prose outings (like copies of Certain Kinds Of Sadness and The Lethericon). * (For reference, those last two are just older, introspective art pieces I worked on a long time ago and have no real other place to go — I might put them up for pay at some point, but I just don't know. In any case, Certain Kinds is a bunch of super pretentious "poetry" a different version of me I knew once wrote a long time ago, while The Lethericon is the basis for the imprint's name — a dictionary and glossary of neologisms and new words I made up, and occasionally still contribute to sometimes, and their associated definitions and intended usages. So, just fun, meaningless artsy pieces; nothing related to the Pick-n-Mix adventures, but at a more ruminatory period in my life, it felt worthwhile to explore those things.)
Some additional notes: * I know who Moonshine is now! This has been another thorn in the development of workable Solar Girl stories since the very first iteration of Supergirls In The Spotlight, because I wanted Moonshine to be Solar Girl's best friend and sidekick but the dynamic and civilian identities I made for her never caught on and it kept changing with every new draft of the storyline, so often that I never had one single, consistent origin and identity for her. But, I've been developing stories for the Pick-n-Mix core for Solarian/Solar Girl continuity — an ongoing called Solarian Comix, which I'll talk about momentarily, or in its own post — and things have aligned so that the new, 100% canonical version is more or less set in stone now. * As expected, this was one of the reasons I decided to pull prior storyline outings out of canon entirely and render Supergirls In The Spotlight and The New Adventures Of Solar Girl non-canon. The version of Moonshine in those stories was Caitlin Deckard, a friend of Sarah Gardner's from school, the daughter of a previous generation's superheroes (who are nonexistent in the current Pick-n-Mix canon), and she's a very difficult, emotionally-troubled character — but I've since incorporated a version of Moonshine into the Pick-n-Mix version of Inglenook's history as a major operator during the canonical 'Lonum Wars, after which she moves to Spotlight City and eventually teams up with Solar Girl — meaning, of course, that not only are Inglenook and Spotlight City connected, but that Moonshine has to be much older than Solar Girl by default now and that I have a fairly solid timeline to connect events in Spotlight City too, referencing back to crossover events where their world connects to Inglenook and the Other Realms. * This was the final deciding factor in decanonizing the previous Solar Girl stuff. Supergirls In The Spotlight and The New Adventures Of Solar Girl are set on Earth, which doesn't exist in the Other Realms. I'm very adamant about this; which meant, of course, that any canonical crossovers between Inglenook stories and those Solar Girl stories are functionally impossible. I tried to do a storyline in New Adventures to fix this — the whole series was meant to connect Supergirls into current continuity, actually — but it just didn't work because of the fundamental origins of the setting. So, they had to go.
So, current canon: * Everything under the Pick-n-Mix label is canon. Supergirls In The Spotlight and The New Adventures Of Solar Girl are not. One version is set in the fictional Spotlight City on Earth in 2012 and 2024; the canonical version (that is, the version that slots in with everything else I'm building in the unified Pick-n-Mix universe, which mostly serves to adapt and standardize all this stuff into one overarching canon specifically for this reason and purpose) is a completely isolated, standalone city. * This version of Spotlight City is floating through space, kind of like the space colony of Terra Venture in Power Rangers: Lost Galaxy or the colony of Solaris in Jason X (which we never see the surface of, but we might remember its iconic destruction when Jason causes the archaeological ship Grendel to crash into it and destroy the whole thing). I first tried to do this concept with the new storylines in The New Adventures, where the 2012 version of Spotlight City had been shunted into space by Status Quo during the break in between series (and would've ended up crashing into the Other Realms at some point after Meanwhile's reset of the universe, while the new, rebooted, Earth-based version kept on ticking, ideally), but again, that stuff is non-canon now. * I don't know why the Pick-n-Mix version is in space yet, but it will be plot relevant and it will be explored, either in Solarian Comix or a different title meant to explore it. Every Other Realm has its own gimmick, though, so they all have funky origins and they're all tied together; New Galatée from a serial I'm working on called Milk was created when folks from the Inglish nation of Galatée decided to live without association to the Kingdom and left for a brand new realm, for instance. * This means fun stuff like Spotlight City gets brand new historical stuff and its own worldbuilding now! And there can be one solid timeline, one central set of origin stories that are absolutely canon (since that also changed for each draft of the story I've been working on, especially for Solar Girl and Moonshine), and lots of crossovers between realms without being too confusing or introducing multiversal counterparts or anything. (EG, the Solarian can now appear in Inglenook sometimes, and Dr Connector and Captain Mytho can show up in Spotlight City, and it'll all be pretty much continuous and canonical, no worries, easy as. Simple.)
Final notes about the Pick-n-Mix stuff: * Moonshine is Sarah's friend, still, but she's older. They're not in the same age bracket anymore, but kind of split the difference and cover both brackets previous versions have straddled. Here, Sarah (who is still Solar Girl, although not the first Solar Girl) is a high schooler attending New Dawn High School; Moonshine is Margaret Deckard, who works as a janitor at New Dawn and is in her late 30s, meaning Solarian Comix is set sometime in the late 80s, at the very least. (Note: this is the Inglenook version of the 80s, not ours. Timelines across the Other Realms are usually in sync, unless I need them not to be, and there are some aesthetic similarities, but Inglenook and the Other Realms are still fantasy worlds, so it's a brand new 80s and not ours.) Margaret and Sarah are kind of the weirdos at the school, obviously, and Sarah likes Margaret's vibe so she ended up befriending her and they have a weird friendship. At the start of their timeline, Margaret is not Moonshine — but, she was. * Before coming to Spotlight City, Margaret lived and grew up in the Kingdom of Inglenook. Urban fantasy, magic, superheroes, all that fun stuff. From 1968 to 1972, Inglenook got involved in the realm of Carillon, a parallel world home to the corvics (crow-people) and a store of scale oil that was useful to the Silvani people. Inglenook established the colony Oiltown there under Queen Charlotte's purview, but eventually it was discovered that the oil they were drilling had been infected by a nearly-indestructible black goo called the Black Regard, forcing Inglenook's hand. Things erupted, and the 'Lonum Wars started — lots of heroes and members of the Royal Protectorate participated, either by choice or by draft. Jack Scorcher of the Legendeers (although not at that time) was one of them; Margaret Deckard, operating under the name Moonshine, was another. * During this time frame, Moonshine was partners with Nightwalk, a shadow caster who died during the war, leaving Margaret deeply traumatized, along with everything else that happened. Once the war was over, she sought to retire from operations as a masked persona, especially given what she was involved in while she was in Carillon, and so eventually moved to Spotlight City to put everything behind her. * No one knew her in Spotlight City, so she's just Margaret Deckard now. But, in the first few origin stories as depicted in Solarian Comix, her friendship with Sarah Gardner puts this retirement at risk — Sarah becomes the new Sunbearer, Solar Girl, and accidentally creates her foil and initial arch-nemesis, Socialighter, from a rival girl at school. Their fight drags Margaret into things, and Sarah eventually discovers her friend's secret history while cleaning up Margaret's attic. Finally, they're able to be spun off into the title Solar Girl & Moonshine, obviously set in the same continuity — I'm still working out the focal details and central storyline gimmicks for it, but it should be focused heavily on this stuff, and on exploring Moonshine's history in Inglenook especially — and things continue and carry on from there. * (This "found in the attic" storyline was brought in from one of the many possible origins for Solar Girl, incidentally; where the idea was, she'd find a box including the solar crystals, the suit, and the pixie Flare in her mother's apartment, discover her mother either was supposed to be Solar Girl, and take up the identity herself. But, now it's transplanted onto Moonshine because of Sarah's current canonical origin, and Margaret is the one who takes up her old identity. Only at Sarah's urging, and in a moment of desperation against a new enemy threatening the city, though. Of course.)
What is Solarian Comix? And what other titles are being worked on? * Solarian Comix is one of the many ongoing titles I'm developing for Pick-n-Mix Comix, a line of serials adapting all my content and intellectual property into one solid canon, for easy digestion and continuity purposes. They're all in the format of issue-by-issue comic titles — sometimes miniseries, sometimes ongoings, sometimes graphic novels, etc. This one is all about Spotlight City, one of the Other Realms floating through space, protected by an artificial sun that gives the Sunbearers their power. The previous Sunbearer was the Solarian; the current one is Solar Girl. Solarian Comix is something of an anthology that jumps throughout the city's timeline, telling stories in recurring features about the Solarian, Solar Girl, and other characters and heroes throughout the city's history, since there's so much content to cover. Regular features include The Sensational Solar Girl, focusing on Solar Girl's rise to power; Silver-Age Solarian, focusing on the Solarian in Spotlight City's "Silver Age" (likely lasting from the 40s to the late 70s or so); and a bunch of other headliners, such as features centered around the realm-hopping witch Hexcellence, the living glitch Glitchboard, the light-manipulating Emerald Flash and Mock Mirage, and so on. * Related titles currently include Solar Girl & Moonshine, Solar Girl: Meanwhile, and Glitchboard: Tales From The Geistmaschine, which are standalone and aren't published in the chapters and pages of Solarian Comix, but do spin off from them.
Other titles being worked on for Pick-n-Mix include: * Dr Connector, a solo-based ongoing title about my science hero, Dr Connector. The first arc is in progress, titled "Dr Connector Meets The Freedom Beyond", and centers around Dr Connector and the Legendeers discovering the Other Realm known as the Freelands. * Solemn Graces, an adaptation of my pre-Pick-n-Mix novella series of the same name, featuring the detective and witch Grace Morgan discovering the town of Grimstead, which here is called Grimshaw (for plot-relevant reasons), and deciding to get pulled into events there for a while. Each issue is a multi-chapter story, with the first issue in progress, depicting Grace's first several days in Grimshaw — her discovery of the place, her fight with the Spring-Heeled Ripper, her meeting with Gallo Belgrave, and more. It comes as it comes, so it'll be finished at some point, and there are obviously a hundred more and then some storylines planned for future issues, so it'll keep me writing for quite a while. * Help! The Monsters Are Lost Here Too. The period is part of the title, yes. This one's a dungeon-crawler isekai-style story about the new character of Jaden Crofter, who becomes trapped in the Bridgery, a liminal and parallel dungeon world, and discovers that — not only is it filled with weird, strange monsters beyond the imagination — but that it's also trapping the monsters there just like him. So, pretty simple. He teams up with a knight from another world called Sydney Storm, and they get the heck out of there. Not much of it is written currently, but there are some worldbuilding notes and potential excerpts available if you like getting an eye into the behind-the-scenes writing and development process for serials like this. * Idyllville Mysteries, which is largely being reworked into Idyllville Mystery Theater, was an early attempt at an ongoing. This one was an anthology that told short vignettes about the city of Idyllville in Inglenook, and was originally exclusive to redditserials here on Reddit (posted using a corporate account I might continue using for Pick-n-Mix stuff, but maybe not). It's still archived on AO3, but because it doesn't fit current formatting standards, it's being heavily retooled and the original ongoing is basically cancelled. Some useful bits of plot details in those tales, though, and writing it helped me work through some stuff at the time while I was writing it, so I wouldn't be here if I hadn't been there. Thought it was worth mentioning, at least.
Those are the ones that have content available already, but as you can tell — there's so much more going on for the Pick-n-Mix universe, and so much more to come.
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2024.06.10 00:23 The_Teacat So, here's the deal. (Updates, 6/9/2024. Nice.)

Going forward: * Stories involving Solar Girl, the Solarian, and Moonshine will only be canonical if they're published under the Pick-n-Μix Comix label. Same goes for almost everything else, but I've had a special thorn in my side dealing with all the pre-Pick-n-Mix stuff and what I want to do with it in regards to what is or isn't part of the overall canon and continuity, so it's important to point this part out first now that I've figured it out. * The content once belonging to the story-cycles of Supergirls In The Spotlight and The New Adventures Of Solar Girl is now going to be under the Lethericon Books label, which means they're non-canonical to everything in the current stable. * Everything under Lethericon Books is going to be a different format than the Pick-n-Mix Comix stuff. I wrote a lot of different, sometimes slower-paced and less adventurous stuff before I started finalizing the format I wanted for the main continuity and they've been in a really weird limbo of canon, but now they're under this label because that's what it's for. This'll be slower-paced, literary, chapter-by-chapter, less-focused, often very introspective, experimental storylines and extra stuff that are related to the main canon but are not themselves canonical; so, AUs like the Comix universe (a coming-of-age story I've been working on now and then where Grace and Gallo are in high school together — obviously completely incompatible with current canon, for a number of reasons), older stories like Supergirls In The Spotlight that don't fit current formatting standards for what is now the canonical works of Pick-n-Mix (and, at least in that one's case, is reprinted from much older work anyway, so nothing new in regards to new content there), and literary or prose outings (like copies of Certain Kinds Of Sadness and The Lethericon). * (For reference, those last two are just older, introspective art pieces I worked on a long time ago and have no real other place to go — I might put them up for pay at some point, but I just don't know. In any case, Certain Kinds is a bunch of super pretentious "poetry" a different version of me I knew once wrote a long time ago, while The Lethericon is the basis for the imprint's name — a dictionary and glossary of neologisms and new words I made up, and occasionally still contribute to sometimes, and their associated definitions and intended usages. So, just fun, meaningless artsy pieces; nothing related to the Pick-n-Mix adventures, but at a more ruminatory period in my life, it felt worthwhile to explore those things.)
Some additional notes: * I know who Moonshine is now! This has been another thorn in the development of workable Solar Girl stories since the very first iteration of Supergirls In The Spotlight, because I wanted Moonshine to be Solar Girl's best friend and sidekick but the dynamic and civilian identities I made for her never caught on and it kept changing with every new draft of the storyline, so often that I never had one single, consistent origin and identity for her. But, I've been developing stories for the Pick-n-Mix core for Solarian/Solar Girl continuity — an ongoing called Solarian Comix, which I'll talk about momentarily, or in its own post — and things have aligned so that the new, 100% canonical version is more or less set in stone now. * As expected, this was one of the reasons I decided to pull prior storyline outings out of canon entirely and render Supergirls In The Spotlight and The New Adventures Of Solar Girl non-canon. The version of Moonshine in those stories was Caitlin Deckard, a friend of Sarah Gardner's from school, the daughter of a previous generation's superheroes (who are nonexistent in the current Pick-n-Mix canon), and she's a very difficult, emotionally-troubled character — but I've since incorporated a version of Moonshine into the Pick-n-Mix version of Inglenook's history as a major operator during the canonical 'Lonum Wars, after which she moves to Spotlight City and eventually teams up with Solar Girl — meaning, of course, that not only are Inglenook and Spotlight City connected, but that Moonshine has to be much older than Solar Girl by default now and that I have a fairly solid timeline to connect events in Spotlight City too, referencing back to crossover events where their world connects to Inglenook and the Other Realms. * This was the final deciding factor in decanonizing the previous Solar Girl stuff. Supergirls In The Spotlight and The New Adventures Of Solar Girl are set on Earth, which doesn't exist in the Other Realms. I'm very adamant about this; which meant, of course, that any canonical crossovers between Inglenook stories and those Solar Girl stories are functionally impossible. I tried to do a storyline in New Adventures to fix this — the whole series was meant to connect Supergirls into current continuity, actually — but it just didn't work because of the fundamental origins of the setting. So, they had to go.
So, current canon: * Everything under the Pick-n-Mix label is canon. Supergirls In The Spotlight and The New Adventures Of Solar Girl are not. One version is set in the fictional Spotlight City on Earth in 2012 and 2024; the canonical version (that is, the version that slots in with everything else I'm building in the unified Pick-n-Mix universe, which mostly serves to adapt and standardize all this stuff into one overarching canon specifically for this reason and purpose) is a completely isolated, standalone city. * This version of Spotlight City is floating through space, kind of like the space colony of Terra Venture in Power Rangers: Lost Galaxy or the colony of Solaris in Jason X (which we never see the surface of, but we might remember its iconic destruction when Jason causes the archaeological ship Grendel to crash into it and destroy the whole thing). I first tried to do this concept with the new storylines in The New Adventures, where the 2012 version of Spotlight City had been shunted into space by Status Quo during the break in between series (and would've ended up crashing into the Other Realms at some point after Meanwhile's reset of the universe, while the new, rebooted, Earth-based version kept on ticking, ideally), but again, that stuff is non-canon now. * I don't know why the Pick-n-Mix version is in space yet, but it will be plot relevant and it will be explored, either in Solarian Comix or a different title meant to explore it. Every Other Realm has its own gimmick, though, so they all have funky origins and they're all tied together; New Galatée from a serial I'm working on called Milk was created when folks from the Inglish nation of Galatée decided to live without association to the Kingdom and left for a brand new realm, for instance. * This means fun stuff like Spotlight City gets brand new historical stuff and its own worldbuilding now! And there can be one solid timeline, one central set of origin stories that are absolutely canon (since that also changed for each draft of the story I've been working on, especially for Solar Girl and Moonshine), and lots of crossovers between realms without being too confusing or introducing multiversal counterparts or anything. (EG, the Solarian can now appear in Inglenook sometimes, and Dr Connector and Captain Mytho can show up in Spotlight City, and it'll all be pretty much continuous and canonical, no worries, easy as. Simple.)
Final notes about the Pick-n-Mix stuff: * Moonshine is Sarah's friend, still, but she's older. They're not in the same age bracket anymore, but kind of split the difference and cover both brackets previous versions have straddled. Here, Sarah (who is still Solar Girl, although not the first Solar Girl) is a high schooler attending New Dawn High School; Moonshine is Margaret Deckard, who works as a janitor at New Dawn and is in her late 30s, meaning Solarian Comix is set sometime in the late 80s, at the very least. (Note: this is the Inglenook version of the 80s, not ours. Timelines across the Other Realms are usually in sync, unless I need them not to be, and there are some aesthetic similarities, but Inglenook and the Other Realms are still fantasy worlds, so it's a brand new 80s and not ours.) Margaret and Sarah are kind of the weirdos at the school, obviously, and Sarah likes Margaret's vibe so she ended up befriending her and they have a weird friendship. At the start of their timeline, Margaret is not Moonshine — but, she was. * Before coming to Spotlight City, Margaret lived and grew up in the Kingdom of Inglenook. Urban fantasy, magic, superheroes, all that fun stuff. From 1968 to 1972, Inglenook got involved in the realm of Carillon, a parallel world home to the corvics (crow-people) and a store of scale oil that was useful to the Silvani people. Inglenook established the colony Oiltown there under Queen Charlotte's purview, but eventually it was discovered that the oil they were drilling had been infected by a nearly-indestructible black goo called the Black Regard, forcing Inglenook's hand. Things erupted, and the 'Lonum Wars started — lots of heroes and members of the Royal Protectorate participated, either by choice or by draft. Jack Scorcher of the Legendeers (although not at that time) was one of them; Margaret Deckard, operating under the name Moonshine, was another. * During this time frame, Moonshine was partners with Nightwalk, a shadow caster who died during the war, leaving Margaret deeply traumatized, along with everything else that happened. Once the war was over, she sought to retire from operations as a masked persona, especially given what she was involved in while she was in Carillon, and so eventually moved to Spotlight City to put everything behind her. * No one knew her in Spotlight City, so she's just Margaret Deckard now. But, in the first few origin stories as depicted in Solarian Comix, her friendship with Sarah Gardner puts this retirement at risk — Sarah becomes the new Sunbearer, Solar Girl, and accidentally creates her foil and initial arch-nemesis, Socialighter, from a rival girl at school. Their fight drags Margaret into things, and Sarah eventually discovers her friend's secret history while cleaning up Margaret's attic. Finally, they're able to be spun off into the title Solar Girl & Moonshine, obviously set in the same continuity — I'm still working out the focal details and central storyline gimmicks for it, but it should be focused heavily on this stuff, and on exploring Moonshine's history in Inglenook especially — and things continue and carry on from there. * (This "found in the attic" storyline was brought in from one of the many possible origins for Solar Girl, incidentally; where the idea was, she'd find a box including the solar crystals, the suit, and the pixie Flare in her mother's apartment, discover her mother either was supposed to be Solar Girl, and take up the identity herself. But, now it's transplanted onto Moonshine because of Sarah's current canonical origin, and Margaret is the one who takes up her old identity. Only at Sarah's urging, and in a moment of desperation against a new enemy threatening the city, though. Of course.)
What is Solarian Comix? And what other titles are being worked on? * Solarian Comix is one of the many ongoing titles I'm developing for Pick-n-Mix Comix, a line of serials adapting all my content and intellectual property into one solid canon, for easy digestion and continuity purposes. They're all in the format of issue-by-issue comic titles — sometimes miniseries, sometimes ongoings, sometimes graphic novels, etc. This one is all about Spotlight City, one of the Other Realms floating through space, protected by an artificial sun that gives the Sunbearers their power. The previous Sunbearer was the Solarian; the current one is Solar Girl. Solarian Comix is something of an anthology that jumps throughout the city's timeline, telling stories in recurring features about the Solarian, Solar Girl, and other characters and heroes throughout the city's history, since there's so much content to cover. Regular features include The Sensational Solar Girl, focusing on Solar Girl's rise to power; Silver-Age Solarian, focusing on the Solarian in Spotlight City's "Silver Age" (likely lasting from the 40s to the late 70s or so); and a bunch of other headliners, such as features centered around the realm-hopping witch Hexcellence, the living glitch Glitchboard, the light-manipulating Emerald Flash and Mock Mirage, and so on. * Related titles currently include Solar Girl & Moonshine, Solar Girl: Meanwhile, and Glitchboard: Tales From The Geistmaschine, which are standalone and aren't published in the chapters and pages of Solarian Comix, but do spin off from them.
Other titles being worked on for Pick-n-Mix include: * Dr Connector, a solo-based ongoing title about my science hero, Dr Connector. The first arc is in progress, titled "Dr Connector Meets The Freedom Beyond", and centers around Dr Connector and the Legendeers discovering the Other Realm known as the Freelands. * Solemn Graces, an adaptation of my pre-Pick-n-Mix novella series of the same name, featuring the detective and witch Grace Morgan discovering the town of Grimstead, which here is called Grimshaw (for plot-relevant reasons), and deciding to get pulled into events there for a while. Each issue is a multi-chapter story, with the first issue in progress, depicting Grace's first several days in Grimshaw — her discovery of the place, her fight with the Spring-Heeled Ripper, her meeting with Gallo Belgrave, and more. It comes as it comes, so it'll be finished at some point, and there are obviously a hundred more and then some storylines planned for future issues, so it'll keep me writing for quite a while. * Help! The Monsters Are Lost Here Too. The period is part of the title, yes. This one's a dungeon-crawler isekai-style story about the new character of Jaden Crofter, who becomes trapped in the Bridgery, a liminal and parallel dungeon world, and discovers that — not only is it filled with weird, strange monsters beyond the imagination — but that it's also trapping the monsters there just like him. So, pretty simple. He teams up with a knight from another world called Sydney Storm, and they get the heck out of there. Not much of it is written currently, but there are some worldbuilding notes and potential excerpts available if you like getting an eye into the behind-the-scenes writing and development process for serials like this. * Idyllville Mysteries, which is largely being reworked into Idyllville Mystery Theater, was an early attempt at an ongoing. This one was an anthology that told short vignettes about the city of Idyllville in Inglenook, and was originally exclusive to redditserials here on Reddit (posted using a corporate account I might continue using for Pick-n-Mix stuff, but maybe not). It's still archived on AO3, but because it doesn't fit current formatting standards, it's being heavily retooled and the original ongoing is basically cancelled. Some useful bits of plot details in those tales, though, and writing it helped me work through some stuff at the time while I was writing it, so I wouldn't be here if I hadn't been there. Thought it was worth mentioning, at least.
Those are the ones that have content available already, but as you can tell — there's so much more going on for the Pick-n-Mix universe, and so much more to come.
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2024.06.10 00:11 milkybicycle [Acne] My last ditch effort before the nuclear option Miss Accutane

[Acne] My last ditch effort before the nuclear option Miss Accutane
Last Ditch Attempt Before Nuclear Option (Accutane)
So I have struggled with acne since I was about 14 (20 now). It all started with a fatal mistake of jumping on an internet trend of using Black African Soap. Before, I only had a few bumps once in awhile that I wanted to clear and I turned to this trend. It ravaged my skin and destroyed my moisture barrier. Ever since then I have been trying to fix my skin. It was REALLY bad for probably a bit over a year. I tried all kinds of stuff but what eventually calmed it down was cutting out major dairy use (byebye milk) and using the CeraVe SA cleanser + CeraVe tub moisturizer. This helped clear active breakouts but didn't really prevent them because it never fully went away.
Fast forward about another year-ish of consistent use of this routine and I decided to add in Differin plus a Vitamin C serum to help with PIE. So I was alternating SA cleanser and the Gentle Cetaphil Cleanser + Differin at nights and then Vit C in mornings with sunscreen (AB Skin Aqua 50spf). Eventually I also changed to Vanicream face lotion because I had a suspicion that the CeraVe tub was too thick for my skin. After awhile my skin was the best it has ever been, my PIE and scarring was gone and my breakouts were super minimal (a few spots if any). It was around this time I began to think I had developed hormonal acne because what spots I did get were those underneath the skin ones mostly on my cheeks/jaw and seemed more common around my period.
Then, after about 4 months with this new skin, I started breaking out again and it consistently got worse even though I hadn't changed much in my routine. Only thing different was I had stopped using Vit C after my PIE cleared but that was long before this acne came back. Oh, and I was on BC but I started after the Differin had been working and didn't go off it until quite a while after the acne had already come back, so not sure if there was any correlation. Seemingly, the Differin had stopped working. I waited about 2-3 more months just to see if it was a fluke before I quit Differin.
From then to now it has pretty much been just fluctuation of moderately bad to not great but not the worst. I have tried things here and there to mostly no avail and have become 99% positive my acne now is hormonal. Recently I decided to do a full reset and just really take my time rebuilding my routine, starting from scratch. That has helped, and what I am doing now has definitely helped maintain it, but my skin is still not clear and at this point I would rather finally go on Accutane and save my skin from more scarring and my pockets from more useless spending on OTC products. Also, my skin is pretty sensitive and dry so I have to be careful about not overloading it with products and protecting my skin barrier. My skin is always much more upset with me when my barrier is damaged and begging for moisture lol. This is my routine:
AM: - Rinse with water - Timeless Vit C Serum - AB Canmake Sunscreen - Vanicream moisturizer if i'm feeling dry
PM: - If wearing makeup, Gentle Cetaphil Cleanser to get it + sunacreen off - Panoxyl BP 4% wash (this has helped the most recently I think) - Vanicream Gentle Moisturizer mixed with a pea size of their tub moisturizer for extra umph - Pimple Patch on any active spots to prevent me picking or feeling the need to wear makeup over them
Currently I will usually have 1-2 active hormonal spots (sometimes more but not very often), some whiteheads, and really just a LOT of PIE/scars. The Vit C definitely helps fade spots faster but ultimately i'm most concerned with stopping the active spots because that's the only way to truly stop the scarring, and imo the scars/PIE makes my skin look worse than it is which sucks. I'm mostly just here looking for anyone with similar skin or a similar journey and to get confirmation if I should just bite the bullet and schedule a derm appointment to get on Accutane. Right now i'm dealing with some serious texture and whiteheads, especially in my T-Zone which isn't very common for me, and i've chalked it up to one if not more of these causes: - started using Joseon Cleansing Balm. wanted to try an oil balm or cleanser for double cleansing for makeup and sunscreen removal since I feared my Cetaphil and Panoxyl back to back was stripping. - the Vanicream tub, I like incorporating it for hydration but I think that thick cream might just be too much for my skin even in pea sized amounts - recently cleaned my makeup brushes with a soap + olive oil mix....cleaned the brushes great but I have a suspicion that if there's still traces of olive oil it's contributing to my clogged pores - did the big dumb like a week and a half ago and slept in my makeup đŸ„Č
so i'm in damage control rn and currently i've stopped the cleansing balm AND tub moisturizer to see if the whiteheads clear. will use Cetaphil to get off makeup in meantime and just be religious about hydration. I heard the soybean in the balm can be a trigger for some acne prone individuals so if I try it again i'm gonna spot test on my forehead or something before going gung-ho. also gonna re-clean my brushes again soon.
anyway, thank you so much for sticking with me through this long ass ramble, I just wanted to make sure I had all the info on the table. for the pictures, the first is how my skin looked all those eons ago when it was just totally screwed up, then my skin at its best, and then my skin after it started up again, and my skin now. ANY advice or input or even just sharing your own experiences is welcome!!
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2024.06.09 23:58 mohammadbashar My girlfriend is treating me like shit. AITAH for wanting to break up?

My (m26) girlfriend (f34) is treating me like shit.
This is gonna be a bit long, so bear with me.
I (m26) have been together with my girlfriend (f34) for one year and two months. Everything has been great all this period. We are not living together. 3 months ago, she had to leave her apartment and look for a new place to live. I helped her out a lot and eventually she found a room in a shared apartment with other two girls. I did my best to help her moving, assembling furniture, etc... She is not happy about this new apartment, she doesn't like her roommates, she doesn't like the city where we live (we're from different countries, both foreigners in the country where we live), doesn't like her job, she's basically questioning her life choices and she's mad about everything. I've been nothing but supportive over this period, I went out of my way to be there for her, but she always ignores me, doesn't consider me, doesn't consider or appreciate anything anything I do. Two months ago I organized a trip for our anniversary and made sure we had the best time, she enjoyed it. Right after we came back, this all started. She doesn't text me, doesn't want to meet me, basically ignores me and doesn't consider my existence.
All of this made me reflect on things from the past. I went to visit my family in December (very far away), and made sure to come back before new year's eve to watch the fireworks together and celebrate. That day she disappeared the whole day and then texted me around 10 pm that she has a headache and doesn't feel like going out. I felt lonely af that night. Again, on Valentine's day, I organized a big day, even decorated my bedroom with rose petals and prepared a lot of things, and bought her a very thoughtful gift, she said again (around 4-5 pm) that she doesn't feel like doing anything this day. Again, I felt lonely and miserable. In all of these situations, I thought to myself that she must be tired and maybe having migraines so it's fine. I talked to her about each situation afterwards and she said she was sorry every time.
We work in the same place (that was actually where we met), I am pursuing my master's and I work there part-time, she works full-time.
Recently a new guy was hired, she was assigned to train him so they worked together everyday since 3 weeks now. We talked about it, I know I don't need to worry, I trust her.
10 days ago, she apologized and said that she will try to make her mood better and not ignore me, I was really annoyed by that time but I said it's okay, let's see. After that we didn't talk for a few days. I had a lot of thoughts and finally after a few days decided that I want to fix things and don't want this to go on any longer. I didn't know what to say so just decided to give it a few days. Next day, I was cleaning up and realized that my vacuum cleaner is still at her place. So I thought this is a chance. I texted to ask if I could come friday morning (before she goes go work) to take my vacuum. She replied "I'm not home this morning, you can come on Saturday if you don't mind", which is very formal and sounds weird between us. I said okay. I went there Saturday morning, it was raining heavily, so when I got there, she opened the door and handed me the keys to go get the vacuum from the storage area in the basement. I said I can't take it today, it's raining, but I wanted to take the chance to talk to you, can I come in? She let me in, I gave her a quick hug (at this point, we hadn't even hugged for weeks), but she looked annoyed and uncomfortable in total. I said how are you? I missed you. She didn't reply. I said I'm sorry if I reacted in an annoyed way, I wanna make things right, and you know that I'm always there for you and on your side. She said (almost screaming): I want to be alone this weekend, I don't wanna do anything (both of her roommates were out of town that weekend). Then she stood up and extended her hand pointing to the door, telling me to leave. I said okay I'm leaving. Took my jacket and left without saying any word. Ten minutes later, I texted her, I'm sorry for disturbing you. Idk if it matters, but she didn't open my message until two days later, she was online all the time on whatsapp. I noticed that because I have her chat pinned and I noticed the tick didn't turn blue. Anyway, later that day, I went to my part time job as usual, and that guy I mentioned earlier was there. He came to me and said "can I talk to you in private? Man to man?" I said yeah, we went outside and he started talking. He said "I know you guys are together, but I made a pact to treat whomever is gonna teach me at this new job with something, and I invited your girlfriend to dinner and she accepted. I asked her if I should talk to you about it and she said no, she will talk to you in her way. The dinner is scheduled for tonight, but I felt like going behind your back so I'm here telling you." When he was talking, he described it as a date 3 times. I was shocked but didn't show it. I said that I won't tell him what to do, he can do whatever he things is suitable for such a situation, and whatever he thinks is the right thing to do. Whether she tells me or not, whether I like it or not, that's for me and her to decide and talk about. Anyway, if you're treating someone with dinner because you're grateful for them for teaching you, you wouldn't call it a date. He said oh I said date! I meant dinner!
I ended the conversation there and went inside.
Some other colleagues noticed that I was annoyed that day, and one of them talked to me about it. Apparently a lot of people there know that he invited her, and I'm the last one to know. Later this guy told me that he cancelled the dinner. I didn't show any reaction. That Saturday, she kicked me out of her place, I've been trying to even "see" her for weeks and she's been declining, but she accepted a dinner invitation from this random guy. I didn't hear from her, so still he could be not saying the truth, and I'm more annoyed of everything else rather than this, but I still need to clear it up with her and know exactly wtf is going on.
We didn't talk since last Saturday (so it's been 9 days), and I've been thinking about it all this time.
I love her so much, we talked about the future together and planned a lot of things, it was all happy. I'm the kind of guy who can be called a keeper, I would do anything to fix my relationship, to help her go through hard times, idk if what she's going through can be considered a midlife crisis. On the other hand, I feel like I'm doing myself wrong, I shouldn't be treated like this by the person I love the most and who (hopefully) loves me. Logically, everything is telling me it's time to leave, but I don't wanna rush to conclusions and make a quick decision I might regret. Now I find myself confused, I really don't know what to do.
AITAH for not leaving her alone initially and wanting to help her and be there for her? AITAH for thinking about ending the relationship?
How can I proceed? I hope some of you might give me reasonable advice. Any piece of advice is much appreciated.
Sorry again for the long post.
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2024.06.09 23:53 FewWillingness1081 SaaS Startup Tips: How do SaaS companies find customers in 2024?

SaaS Startup Tips: How do SaaS companies find customers in 2024?

How are both B2B SaaS and B2C SaaS companies finding clients?

There's never been a better time than now to start a SaaS startup. Whether you intend to focus on the B2B space or B2C, SaaS companies are experiencing extreme customer success. The sheer amount of companies that existed before the pandemic, compared to now is outsized and growing at an amazing scale. Many companies changed their work model, enabling millions of workers to work from home. In order for this to be successful at scale, requires technology to fundamentally support the many workers and their ever-evolving task lists.
Customer success is the primary ingredient for the success of many SaaS startups in 2024. By helping their clients achieve their business goals, customers have been more likely to stay loyal to their favorite SaaS products as they grow and succeed.
At the core of every SaaS business strategy, 3 key points stand out:
  1. Customer Retention
  2. Customer Engagement
  3. Customer Satisfaction
Harnessing these three areas helps you build a strong and durable customer base.

Customer success at the forefront of your SaaS company

For B2B & B2C SaaS startups, the customer success departments have evolved from simply handling tickets to collecting and analyzing customer feedback in an effort to optimize the customer experience. This doesn't need to be something reserved for the larger players in the space. As an early-stage SaaS you want your customers to spread the word to their friends and colleagues, about their experience, so going above and beyond is a must! Let's put this idea as a fundamental requirement, and the next set of activities will help you to scale your products at lightning speed!

Stop struggling to get initial users for your SaaS product

Why is Reddit ranking so high in Google Searches? Saas
I [will] make a strong argument that we often cannot see the solution to our problems because we are too close to the problems to see our surroundings in the first place. The more you've optimized and automated your SaaS, the more you realize that there's less to do, up to a certain point. The next thing you typically pivot focus to is growth through marketing or advertising. So you start to post in DigitalMarketing, socialmedia, and marketing for ideas on how to perform outreach, enhance your seo, and even dabble in PPC. If you're lucky, you'll begin to see that there are issues with basic things, because members of Reddit will happily point them out to you.
If you haven't already seen this post, it's a good thread, and I recommend you check it out. The OP reveals some reasons why their product is struggling to gain traction. The community on Reddit is fantastic for providing insights as to what can be useful. Especially in communities such as SaaS, while others sometimes are not so forgiving (cough, cough, Entrepreneur).
Most of us SaaS founders don't actually have the luxury of spending time doing this. It's very much a make-it-or-break-it type scenario. Those of you who feel this way will certainly appreciate the next few bullet points that I will provide that should help you to begin generating traffic to your SaaS landing page [immediately].
  1. Find the subreddit or community (Reddit, Linkedin, Facebook, Slack, Quora, X (Twitter) that you think aligns with your product niche.
  2. Answer every question that you believe aligns with your target consumer, such as the "How-to's", or "Why's" that appear in the "Best", "Hot", and "New" tabs. Browse through each and every single tab.
  3. Post only if you think what you have to add is immensely utilitarian, otherwise, spend time engaging through comments, and providing resources, links, and sources to any material you share.
  4. Make sure your profile is optimized, because if you [do] provide any information that stands out, both happy and unhappy users will pounce on your profile to find anything that they can use to their advantage (be ready for the trolls).
  5. Check your analytics. You'd be surprised to realize that some posts (that you don't create) will get thousands of views. A small percentage of viewers will then roll into your website to see what you have to offer, for their own reasons.
If 1,000 people visited your website from this tactic, consider that maybe 50 - 100 of them might actually be your customers, maybe even smaller. The better the offering on your landing page, the more likely you'll even get sign-ups for your SaaS with free trial periods, or free offerings!
Repeat this every day, and you're now generating 10,000 - 20,000 (or more) potential clients to your website daily. Some days will be great, others not so great, but you've found a method that now works, and is proven!

Leveraging social media (organically) to scale your SaaS

I like to break social media platforms into 2 categories:
  1. Literature-driven communities:
    1. Reddit
    2. Quora
    3. Linkedin
    4. X (Twitter)
    5. Slack
  2. Social Media Apps:
    1. Instagram
    2. Tiktok
    3. Pinterest
    4. X (Twitter)
Yes, I purposefully placed "X" in both categories because it had a great mix of both content types, and was originally based on small "tweets", but now it provides a lot more media, and I find myself spending less time reading.
Literature-driven communities are apps that you're potential SaaS customers have to stop and read, to find something interesting, even on mobile. While the "social media apps" are full of videos, and media fighting to hook your attention. This rapid-scrolling behavior is conducive to "doom-scrolling", making it much harder to capture the eye of your potential customers.
I would recommend investing more time into "Literature-driven platforms", as I think you'll get far more engagement without the need to sell your soul for likes, and followers. In fact, I only have about 100 followers on Reddit at this time, yet I still managed to gain 50,000,000+ views on my content in May 2024.
Also, here's another great Reddit Post about finding customers for your B2B SaaS.
https://preview.redd.it/x95xhu7qam5d1.jpg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dcb583cf047e3a068ad65f7593e56f343878f5f5

Opening up to friends, family, and colleagues as early customers

As you launch your product you're typically stuck in a paradoxical situation of needing to convince new clients with testimonials from previous clients. It's not easy to convert potential users without any data or feedback. It's much easier to do this when you have traction, but that's now always the case for a new SaaS founder.
Here are a few methods you can use to attract clients of your product early, in exchange for much-needed testimonials and referrals:
  1. Offer your product to your "inner circle". This includes friends, family, colleagues, connections on Linkedin, or members of your social club.
  2. Give discounts, and extended trial periods. It may cost you next to nothing to give your product out to testers, but having received a testimony repays you 100-fold!
  3. Run surveys on Survey Monkey, or Usertesting.com - Not only will you get structured feedback from prospective users, but some of these testers might be willing to stay on, and use your product for an extended period.
  4. Offer lifetime deals to early adopters. This may not be very fun, but it's a real opportunity to start bringing in revenue, validating certain functions and capabilities, and again, creating testimonials that you can use to convince new clients that your service works.
Consider this your beta trial (B2B SaaS) period. B2B SaaS founders typically will leverage their existing network at the beginning due to a high likelihood that they have some level of corporate experience (at least I hope!) going into their new venture. To get started, all you need is a Minimum Viable Product (MVP), which represents the leanest version of your app idea. Customer feedback will significantly add value to the long-term outlook of your product at this stage.

Using analytics to optimize your sales funnel

How to build a SaaS sales funnel
This next section is dedicated to BareMetrics, who inspired many of the lists that you'll see.
First, let's talk about what a SaaS sales funnel actually is, according to BareMetrics:
"In sales and marketing, the “funnel” refers to the process of qualifying leads and converting them to customers. You pour in leads at the widest part at the top of the sales funnel. As you work on converting them through the sales process, the funnel narrows. The bottom of the funnel is where your hottest qualified leads pour into your business as customers.
The traditional sales funnel is broken down into a few stages as leads engage with your brand:
Awareness: This is where your prospects become aware of your product and your brand. They’re just learning who you are, what you do, and that they have a problem you can solve.
Discovery: This is the phase where prospective leads are doing some initial research, narrowing down the products and services that can help them solve their issue.
Evaluation: In this phase, prospects are conducting more serious evaluations, weighing the pros and cons of making a purchase, as well as comparing you to your competitors.
Intent: This is the final phase of the funnel before a purchase is made. Logic, numbers, and value-driven communication are the keys to making that final persuasive push.
Purchase: This is where leads have ultimately decided that your brand meets their needs. They then join the ranks of your paying customers! Your work isn’t done, though: You still need to help them through the welcome and onboarding phase.
For your SaaS business, you have one key additional stage you need to consider: retention. Unlike other retail businesses, you don’t just want your customers to make a one-time purchase. You have to continue persuading them of your continued value each month. In this phase, you can also use the insights you gather about the customer and their behavior to upsell with features that meet their specific needs (and, in turn, increase your average revenue per user)."
Beautifully written (in my opinion). Retention also deserves much of your focus here as a SaaS entrepreneur. You have to convince customers month-over-month that you're not only maintaining quality, but the product has a roadmap for improvement. The use case that attracts initial customers doesn't necessarily guarantee that they will keep coming back. You're going to have to keep an ear out for what they are saying, and use as many opportunities as you can to understand what their needs are. I did something like this on Reddit within the dating app space.

Learn which metrics you should be tracking to optimize your SaaS sales funnel

Hubspot CAC Recovery Chart - SaaS companies
Hubspot has a great write-up about 15 metrics that you should be tracking. Here they are (below):
  1. Customer Churn
  2. Revenue Churn
  3. Customer Lifetime Value
  4. Customer Acquisition Cost
  5. Months to Recover CAC
  6. CAC: LTV Ratio
  7. Customer Engagement Score
  8. Qualified Marketing Traffic
  9. Leads by Lifecycle Stage
  10. Lead-to-Customer Rate
  11. Customer Health Score
Every SaaS startup is different, and what they use to track overall growth and retention varies from company to company. Generally, most experts can agree that at a minimum, if you're team is focusing on optimization, these items should be reviewed every day, if not weekly within your organization.

What tools you should be using to optimize your SaaS sales funnel

Best analytics dashboard for my SaaS product - Mixpanel
My favorite tools for tracking data throughout your sales funnel are as follows:
  1. Unbounce / LeadPages - Landing page tracking and optimization
  2. Hotjar.com / Inspectlet
  3. Mixpanel.com / Google Analytics
  4. Squarespace.com / Wix / Webflow
  5. Stripe.com / Square / Braintree
  6. Mailchimp.com / Hubspot / Constant Contact
I also included some variants in this list. Notice that I did not include any ad platforms here. I know many marketing agencies would kill me, but it's not a necessary tool. Most of us have been taught to spend money on ads, to start tracking users to your platform, but if you're not generating at least 10,000 monthly visitors to your website organically (today), then you should take the organic route. Here's a resource on how to start getting clients for your SaaS startup. Only when you've exhausted all other ways of generating organic traffic, you should invest in advertising.
For me, it may be worth it to bring in another resource, who can guarantee me organic traffic with proven strategies, than pay for a PPC campaign, full of bot clicks from bot farms!

Create comparison content with competitors

Just recently I found a thread in SaaS talking about their journey with SEO. After 6 months of implementation, their strategy now brings in passive sales, due to their commitment to content creation. Many SaaS founders are admitting that creating "comparison content" with competitors is a great way to leverage a larger brand's presence in the SERP space. I highly recommend you invest in creating feature matrices detailing where, why, and how you stand out from other competitors on the market.

What you should do after you've gained thousands of new customers

Let's do a short recap to identify how we've gotten here.
  1. We officially launched our SaaS
  2. We invited our inner circle of friends, family, and colleagues as initial testers of our B2C SaaS, and leveraged our professional network for B2B SaaS.
  3. We offered discounts, trials, or lifetime deals in exchange for feedback and testimonials.
  4. We've highlighted initial success stories as case studies on our SaaS brand website, to help us convince new clients
  5. We've set up a sales funnel (feedback loop) to track conversion success at every core inflection point using top tools like Mixpanel, Unbounce, and Stripe.
  6. We're implementing organic social media strategies that drive 10,000+ visitors to our SaaS landing page every month, which helps us optimize our sales funnel (5).
  7. We've invested in a customer retention strategy, equal to our outreach strategy. Tools such as Mailchimp (newsletters), and SMS marketing (Twilio.com) work well here.
  8. We've exhausted growth, and need to further 10x our user base. Now's a great time to consider influencer marketing, affiliate marketing, or paid ads.
The decision to invest in a team or organic social media assets to continue growth, or take the path of investing in ad campaigns for growth really depends on where you see yourself in 2 - 3 years. Some people want to build a SaaS product that helps them live a simpler life, assisting in an exit from the traditional corporate 9 - 5 pm. Others desire to take the VC route, raise funds, and scale to extraordinary heights, eventually going public through an IPO.
No matter what your decision is, none of this can happen without achieving success in steps 1 - 8. For some SaaS founders, they will achieve every point mentioned within 6 months, while others might take 6 years. A good example of this slow and steady approach is Mailchimp of course!

Getting customers for your SaaS is easier than you think

This article will single-handedly provide you with the links and resources needed to build a customer base within your first 6-months of launch. Within 2 - 3 months you could even exceed the 1,000 user mark. For some 100 customers is also great, it just depends on who you're targeting (B2B vs. B2C). Make sure to focus on customer success, get those testimonials, and establish dominance by giving your loyal clients a bespoke experience!
If you found this article helpful and are ready to continue executing, feel free to grab a copy of our book The Growth Checklist. It's the only book around that guarantees growth within 30 days, or we'll fully refund you the value of the book. If you've already purchased a copy, and are struggling to execute upon any strategies, you can simply book a meeting with me here.

Find us on your favorite platforms

We also wrote this article, along with other similar ones on the following platforms:
  1. Linkedin
  2. Reddit
  3. The Growth Blog (24 Hour Designs)
  4. Quora
  5. Medium
Follow us on whichever platform you prefer!
Thank you so much for reading.
submitted by FewWillingness1081 to u/FewWillingness1081 [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 23:39 mohammadbashar My (m26) girlfriend (f34) is treating me like shit. How do I proceed?

My (m26) girlfriend (f34) is treating me like shit, is it justified?
This is gonna be a bit long, so bear with me.
I (m26) have been together with my girlfriend (f34) for one year and two months. Everything has been great all this period. We are not living together. 3 months ago, she had to leave her apartment and look for a new place to live. I helped her out a lot and eventually she found a room in a shared apartment with other two girls. I did my best to help her moving, assembling furniture, etc... She is not happy about this new apartment, she doesn't like her roommates, she doesn't like the city where we live (we're from different countries, both foreigners in the country where we live), doesn't like her job, she's basically questioning her life choices and she's mad about everything. I've been nothing but supportive over this period, I went out of my way to be there for her, but she always ignores me, doesn't consider me, doesn't consider or appreciate anything anything I do. Two months ago I organized a trip for our anniversary and made sure we had the best time, she enjoyed it. Right after we came back, this all started. She doesn't text me, doesn't want to meet me, basically ignores me and doesn't consider my existence.
All of this made me reflect on things from the past. I went to visit my family in December (very far away), and made sure to come back before new year's eve to watch the fireworks together and celebrate. That day she disappeared the whole day and then texted me around 10 pm that she has a headache and doesn't feel like going out. I felt lonely af that night. Again, on Valentine's day, I organized a big day, even decorated my bedroom with rose petals and prepared a lot of things, and bought her a very thoughtful gift, she said again (around 4-5 pm) that she doesn't feel like doing anything this day. Again, I felt lonely and miserable. In all of these situations, I thought to myself that she must be tired and maybe having migraines so it's fine. I talked to her about each situation afterwards and she said she was sorry every time.
We work in the same place (that was actually where we met), I am pursuing my master's and I work there part-time, she works full-time.
Recently a new guy was hired, she was assigned to train him so they worked together everyday since 3 weeks now. We talked about it, I know I don't need to worry, I trust her.
10 days ago, she apologized and said that she will try to make her mood better and not ignore me, I was really annoyed by that time but I said it's okay, let's see. After that we didn't talk for a few days. I had a lot of thoughts and finally after a few days decided that I want to fix things and don't want this to go on any longer. I didn't know what to say so just decided to give it a few days. Next day, I was cleaning up and realized that my vacuum cleaner is still at her place. So I thought this is a chance. I texted to ask if I could come friday morning (before she goes go work) to take my vacuum. She replied "I'm not home this morning, you can come on Saturday if you don't mind", which is very formal and sounds weird between us. I said okay. I went there Saturday morning, it was raining heavily, so when I got there, she opened the door and handed me the keys to go get the vacuum from the storage area in the basement. I said I can't take it today, it's raining, but I wanted to take the chance to talk to you, can I come in? She let me in, I gave her a quick hug (at this point, we hadn't even hugged for weeks), but she looked annoyed and uncomfortable in total. I said how are you? I missed you. She didn't reply. I said I'm sorry if I reacted in an annoyed way, I wanna make things right, and you know that I'm always there for you and on your side. She said (almost screaming): I want to be alone this weekend, I don't wanna do anything (both of her roommates were out of town that weekend). Then she stood up and extended her hand pointing to the door, telling me to leave. I said okay I'm leaving. Took my jacket and left without saying any word. Ten minutes later, I texted her, I'm sorry for disturbing you. Idk if it matters, but she didn't open my message until two days later, she was online all the time on whatsapp. I noticed that because I have her chat pinned and I noticed the tick didn't turn blue. Anyway, later that day, I went to my part time job as usual, and that guy I mentioned earlier was there. He came to me and said "can I talk to you in private? Man to man?" I said yeah, we went outside and he started talking. He said "I know you guys are together, but I made a pact to treat whomever is gonna teach me at this new job with something, and I invited your girlfriend to dinner and she accepted. I asked her if I should talk to you about it and she said no, she will talk to you in her way. The dinner is scheduled for tonight, but I felt like going behind your back so I'm here telling you." When he was talking, he described it as a date 3 times. I was shocked but didn't show it. I said that I won't tell him what to do, he can do whatever he things is suitable for such a situation, and whatever he thinks is the right thing to do. Whether she tells me or not, whether I like it or not, that's for me and her to decide and talk about. Anyway, if you're treating someone with dinner because you're grateful for them for teaching you, you wouldn't call it a date. He said oh I said date! I meant dinner!
I ended the conversation there and went inside.
Some other colleagues noticed that I was annoyed that day, and one of them talked to me about it. Apparently a lot of people there know that he invited her, and I'm the last one to know. Later this guy told me that he cancelled the dinner. I didn't show any reaction. That Saturday, she kicked me out of her place, I've been trying to even "see" her for weeks and she's been declining, but she accepted a dinner invitation from this random guy. I didn't hear from her, so still he could be not saying the truth, and I'm more annoyed of everything else rather than this, but I still need to clear it up with her and know exactly wtf is going on.
We didn't talk since last Saturday (so it's been 9 days), and I've been thinking about it all this time.
I love her so much, we talked about the future together and planned a lot of things, it was all happy. I'm the kind of guy who can be called a keeper, I would do anything to fix my relationship, to help her go through hard times, idk if what she's going through can be considered a midlife crisis. On the other hand, I feel like I'm doing myself wrong, I shouldn't be treated like this by the person I love the most and who (hopefully) loves me. Logically, everything is telling me it's time to leave, but I don't wanna rush to conclusions and make a quick decision I might regret. Now I find myself confused, I really don't know what to do.
How can I proceed? I hope some of you might give me reasonable advice. Any piece of advice is much appreciated.
Sorry again for the long post.
submitted by mohammadbashar to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 23:16 KingKongStomp Lying Friend accuses me of liking his 11-Year-Old Cousin+Update

So I’m a 16-year-old male in my sophomore year and my friend (who we will call LF and has a brother) is 15 and in his freshman year and is accusing me of being a pedophile and let me tell you how it happened. LF introduced me to his cousin on VR months ago on a Sunday and we played Dragon Fist, VR chat, and rec room. We played VR as a trio for weeks until the next day at school after a Sunday. I sat at my desk, which was next to his, and LF asked me if I had a crush on his cousin (who is 11 and we will call FF). I said no, then he asked me again and again on what I thought about her. I said that she was adorable. Let me just say that I thought her hyper energy was adorable because she was hyper during our game sessions and would get really into the game, which was Dragon Fist. LF’s cousin was the one who wanted to know because she thought I did, and he FaceTimed me and her while we were both home, and they talked to me about liking FF (which I didn’t). FF agreed to be my girlfriend (which I thought was a joke and didn’t take seriously). Then months went by and I just stopped talking to them for 1 week because I had a lot going on my mind. Then LF messaged me a long paragraph on how I should “stop being in my feelings,” but me not talking to them was NOT related to them at all, and I had to write an apology message for something I didn’t say. I gave them 2 fruit snacks each as an apology gift, but FF didn’t go to our school (Of Course), so LF had to take all 4 of them home with him so he could give it to FF. Then 2 or 3 hours later after I got home, LF messaged me asking if I put something in the fruit snack. I was asleep at the time, but when I woke up, he called me and asked me the same question, and I said no. Then I asked who accused me of that, and he didn’t wanna say who. I’m guessing LF tried to give it to FF, but one of FF’s parents probably got suspicious, and I can’t blame them since they never met me, and it would be weird to have someone randomly give your child candy unless they are “FRIENDS.” So, I let LF’s twin brother have the fruit snacks instead. And let me tell you guys something that I like about LF’s brother, he’s one of those nice popular kids who is chill, and I would hate to be on his bad side because of how chill he is.
Then me and LF would be on talking terms again after I felt better about life. Then Monday came, we sat next to each other in 1st period, and he invited me to his house on Friday. But then he thinks that it's a bad idea because of FF’s mom who heard about me “dating” FF, so now LF’s aunt hates me, which was okay because I was never planning on going to the barbecue anyway. He said that FF mom would kill me, and I said that I would defend myself if she tried to. Then he tried to scare me by pretending to send a message to FF that said “[My Name] said that he’ll beat up your mom”, which didn’t work at first, but he FF actually sent the message on purpose, he tried to make it seem like a accident but I saw him trying to pretend to scroll up in order to pretend that he pressed the send button on accident. Once I got home, LF called me and told me that his family told him to make an excuse on why I couldn't go there, which I was okay with not going since I have social anxiety and I would only go to places with family. He then said that I was really calm about the situation of his family hating me, which is easy if you don’t personally know the people and if you’ve gotten harassed before. Then we did a back and forth argument about me “liking” his cousin. I thought he was messing with me about dating FF, but he was serious and actually believed I liked her (which I didn’t and I thought the whole thing was a joke), and he was mad about me saying that I said I would beat up his aunt, which is total bull crap because I said that I would just defend myself if she tried to hurt me. Then he said that I should just stop “lying” because that’ll make things worse, so I “told the truth” (which is obviously false) and said that I did say I was going to beat up his aunt (Even though he threatened me with her), then he went to his other cousin’s house after hanging up.
Then 24 minutes later he messaged me saying, "[My Name] u gotta stop lying and talkin bout fightin my auntie or ima have to stop talkin to u permanently." And I’m already annoyed that he thought I was actually being serious about dating his fking 11-year-old cousin, now he's saying I would hurt someone for no reason.
2 things I need to mention before finishing, one of them is that I’m of average height with wrestling and boxing experience and I’m not calling myself a master at both but I’m pretty good at them and I’m willing to defend myself if someone threatens me with murder or violence, the next thing I wanted to tell you guys is that my friend who I talk to a lot had set me up with a girl on Instagram and I took the opportunity since I know I wasn’t really dating FF and it was probably a joke they made to mess with me about being single at the time before meeting the girl my friend put me on with, but they thought I was serious about the whole thing and LF won’t accept that they just did the whole dating thing to mess with me and to call me a pedo even though it was his idea and I never actually wanted to date his cousin and this whole thing started with me calling his cousin adorable.
Sorry for the yap session, I just needed to make sure that I got every single detail but if something doesn’t add up, then I’ll come back to fix it since I was pretty mad and annoyed while writing this because I had to remember every single detail that happen and it annoys me just thinking about it.
Update:I still talk to LF and randomly during FaceTime he just says to stop lying because I so called “lied.” a lot, I have nothing to gain from lying so why would I lie? and then he said “I’ma be honest with you, FF does not like you, she hates you.” and I’ll be honest, I said that I don’t give a shit if she hates me, its not like I’m ever going to talk to her face to face, in fact I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks of me because I’m still living and that’s the only thing that matters to me, and I said that during the face time and then I just let him win the argument just to make him quiet, then he said that he has to do something and hung up the FaceTime.
Moral of the story, only compliment people who won’t take shit the wrong way.
submitted by KingKongStomp to stories [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 22:50 TitanAura The Struggles of Adapting Peak Fiction Under Strict Production Constraints

The Struggles of Adapting Peak Fiction Under Strict Production Constraints
\"But why not do both?\"
This is a follow-up to my last post defending the anime's decision to cut content for the sake of pacing but let me give you the TL;DR so you don't feel the need to have read that one before this as this post covers the same bases (and then some): The anime is first-and foremost the story of Rudeus Greyrat and must therefore prioritize his perspective, even at the cost of other characters' moments, regardless of how beloved those individual scenes are to fans of the Light Novels (myself included).
So let me start by addressing the strongest counter argument made in response to that post: "But the first season, and even Cour 1 of season 2 was able to maintain excellent pacing while having relatively few cuts! Why does the pacing in cour 2 still *FEEL* so rushed in comparison despite cutting so much?" That is an astute observation! And, quite frankly, you are asking the right questions. And for anyone planning to skip straight to the end of this admittedly \daunting* essay, here's a TL;DR for you: Episodes 19 & 20's reduced quality and heightened pace were done deliberately to provide the last 4 episodes of the season the space they need to breathe.* Continue reading if you want to find out how and why this had to be done.
It would be a fool's errand to argue that Cour 2 is NOT cutting less content than prior cours (because it absolutely is, and by quite a lot too), nor will I be arguing that the cour does NOT suffer some level of pacing issues because it absolutely is (see first post), rather I will be arguing in defense of the purpose of limiting the scope of what gets adapted, and why such decisions are necessary in the first place. However, before I delve any further into the specifics of Cour 2's production struggles, first I should elaborate how its production schedule differs from S1.

PART 1: Production Scheduling (aka setting the pace)

In case you were unaware, Season 1 was originally slated to be released in 2020 but was delayed to January of 2021 so it could actually receive all of the extra care and polish it truly deserved. For S2, Studio Bind's production staff, by contrast, had to make due with the time they were initially given. More time (and consequently more budget) usually fixes most production issues, but very few (extraordinarily rare) series ever receive that benefit and doing so twice was likely never even considered a possibility.
Sadly we are not in the alternate timeline where S2 benefitted from the same advantages that gave us gorgeous custom world-building OPs for every episode that freed up even more additional screen time for dialogue and character development (in some cases literally depicting entire chapters such as Paul's POV being shown during Ep 17's STUNNINGLY well executed OP montage). Thanks in part to that decision, S1 had significantly more wiggle room to work with, especially pertaining to the secondary cast, allowing it to more evenly adapt the world building, character development, and main narrative plotline of Mushoku Tensei as a whole utilizing that extra runtime (90 seconds per episode adds up to a LOT over the course of an entire season, plus the 5 EDs, that were integrated as needed on a per-episode basis, for an additional 7 1/2 minutes which adds up to a WHOPPING 43 1/2 MINUTES over the course of that 24 episode run and I should point out that S2 Cour 1 ALSO benefitted from this for the first 5 episodes including the OVA, giving that cour an added 9 minutes to utilize with Cour 2 receiving a paltry 3 minutes as only the 1st episode integrates the OP/ED runtime).
It's simply the reality that polish and quality was prioritized for S1 while scheduling and budget were prioritized for S2. If you want to be especially harsh, one could say S1 was treated as art, while S2 was treated as a commercial product, which is why I've set my expectations accordingly and hope this post helps others do the same. This becomes more apparent when you take into consideration that Studio Bind were also working on Onimai at the same time as S2 given their air dates were only 6 months apart. So not only was S2 not being given the same scheduling priority, it was COMPETING for resources. Given the BD sales numbers for every project they've released, at a minimum we can be assured that Studio Bind has been financially successful at least but the double edged nature of that success also means that certain priorities may have shifted away from MT and towards the new cash-cow. There's a reason I phrased my previous post so specifically: These episodes are a fine adaptation of Rudy's story.... and not much else because it simply doesn't have the screen time or resources to focus on anything besides Rudy's share of the narrative and character development.
Which ties directly into the second reason as to why cour 2 FEELS so rushed, even in comparison to cour 1. The contents of Volumes 10, 11, and 12 are significantly more *LINEAR\* with more individual events being depicted compared to Volumes 1-9. This translates to more content vying for screen time. But how much content are we talking about here? Well, I don't want to go too deeply into raw numbers as that's not really the point but let's set a baseline with some quick-n-dirty math to illustrate:
S1c1 covers 1326 pg / 3 = 442 pg/vol (11 episodes) = 40.2 pg / ep S1c2 covers 1280 pg / 3 = 427 pg/vol (12 episodes + OVA) = 32.8 pg / ep S2c1 covers 1268 pg / 3 = 423 pg/vol (12 episodes + OVA) = 32.5 pg / ep S2c2 covers 1381 pg / 3 = 460 pg/vol (12 episodes) = 38.3 pg / ep
Obviously these are EXTREMELY rough numbers that don't take into account any of the cut content, non-chapter related pages, nor the difference in available runtime afforded to S1 that I previously mentioned, but just by raw page count, that's technically LESS content than what the first 11 episodes of Season 1 had to adapt! Surely they could just tweak a few things to make everything fit! Unfortunately, it's not that simple. You see, there's a distinct lack of a certain type of content that made the lives of the production staff significantly easier by providing plenty of opportunities to pick and choose what made it into the final cut of an episode's runtime to keep the mainline story of Rudeus chugging along at the leisurely clip we're accustomed to.

PART 2: Narrative Fluff (aka work smarter, not longer)

Spoiler: It's the sheer density of secondary character POVs. The very ones we often grieved being cut as the episodes were coming out during S1. They add depth and complexity to the characters (and are, imho, singularly the most *profoundly insightful* pieces of writing Rifujin-sensei has ever produced) but 90% of the time are simply repeating the same events from a new perspective. HOWEVER, when adapted to an audio-visual medium, you can SHOW both perspectives simultaneously and let the audience infer what's going on in a secondary character's mind through the use of voice acting, animation, staging, lighting, OST, and sound design thereby allowing the anime-only audience to receive 90% of the same information that was conveyed during those same events in the novels.
The "missing" Eris POV is the primary example of this disconnect between how little LN readers think Anime-onlys are inferring and how much is being successfully communicated to them even if they themselves can't properly articulate what it was they took away from any particular scene. I highly recommend paying close attention to Eris' face in the 3 following episodes after the events of Turning Point 2 RATHER THAN READING THE SUBTITLES (dub watchers have an advantage here but BOTH performances do an incredible job) and you'll see (and hear) what I'm talking about. Sure we don't get every beat of her thought process spelled out for us in quite the same level of detail as in her POV chapter, but you can sense her inner conflict while watching Rudeus practice Disturb Magic as they ride into the outskirts of Fittoa and her heartache at seeing him standing forlornly in the ruins of his destroyed childhood home. The idea that she doesn't feel "worthy" of him is already being communicated by her facial expressions and her body language. Her letter stating how they aren't "well-balanced" in combination with that visual information is already providing context clues to the viewer as to what's going on in her head. In her final scene you can hear the sheer depth of her love give way to a deeply instilled sense of self-loathing, just by the tone of her voice, as she hoists Rudeus up onto that pedestal. Yet as she nears the end of her melancholic monologue more of that brash, passionate nature of hers seeps back into her delivery as pours her heart out.
To quote Harry Plinkett: "It's so subtle, you might not have even noticed... but your brain did."
The only emotion you could argue was nerfed by the adaptation is the depths of her self-loathing for having "taken advantage of him" after their night together but they still get a line in about their age and size difference, which when heard in her self-flagellating tone describing how "awful" she's been to him, you can easily make that inference. But you might also say "AHA even in those 3 episodes they left out how devastated she was when Rudy beat her using the demon eye after she finally gained some confidence in her strength" to which I say: Watch Ep 13: Missed Connections and, again, pay attention to Eris. Every part off the Buffalo was used.
They also never deliberately spell out her ardent belief that Rudeus is so strong and smart and amazing and brave and perfect that regardless of whatever she wrote as she struggled to find the words to leave in her letter, he would just clairvoyantly understand her intentions.... but you don't really NEED that spelled out for you when her final appearance is her shouting to the high heavens about how in love she is directly juxtaposed with Rudeus reverting to his former self-image shut away in his bedroom after very specifically misunderstanding the meaning of her words and actions! "I LOVE THIS MAN she screams as the man she loves thinks to himself "I can't believe she doesn't love me anymore." Seeing that, anyone could conclude "Were you expecting him to just KNOW what you meant??" Yes. Yes she was.
The Eris' POV wasn't "skipped content"... it was integrated. It's broken up and repurposed in bits and pieces over the course of 4, count 'em, FOUR separate episodes but 99% of it is there if you know what to look for (which for anime onlys is considered rewatch value).
By going through this in such agonizing detail I hope I'm properly communicating one of the greatest hang ups LN readers seem to have (or adaptational purists in general) relative to their expectations: You are putting entirely too much value into dialogue, monologue, and the text of a script relative to every other element the medium has to offer. The absence of TEXT does not diminish the SUBTEXT. An individual viewer might not know WHY they believe a character motivation exists as it does, but by and large most will pick up on those details whether it be deliberate (in the case of a certain psychologist youtuber who keeps nailing plot predictions over and over BECAUSE ALL OF THE INFORMATION YOU NEED IS RIGHT, THE F**K, THERE) or subconsciously (in the case of most passive audience members).

PART 1 (COUR 2): THE RESCHEDULENING (aka MATH)

Now, having detailed how a POV chapter can actually be efficiently absorbed into the runtime of the show without disrupting or sidetracking the main narrative, let's re-examine the topic of how (as well as why) this affects the production schedule. As I previously stated, overall Volume 1-9 have quite a number of POV chapters to work around as buffers to the rest of the content. Don't believe me? Let me break it down a bit more then:
Vol 1 contains ~ 2 1/2 POV chapters out of 10 = 25% Vol 2 contains ~ 2 3/4 POV chapters out of 11 = 25% Vol 3 contains ~ 1 POV chapters out of 15 = 6.5% (one of the longer action heavy volumes, yet only 3 eps) On average ~19% of content is POV. Vol 4 contains ~ 2 1/4 POV chapters out of 12 = 19% Vol 5 contains ~ 4 POV chapters out of 11 = 36% Vol 6 contains ~ 2 1/4 POV chapters out of 15 = 15% On average ~23% of content is POV. Vol 7 contains ~ 1 1/4 POV chapters out of 8 (technically 9, short prologue + epilogue combined) = 15.5% Vol 8 contains ~ 2 POV chapters out of 12 = 17% Vol 9 contains ~ 3.75 POV chapters out of 12.5 (several very short POVs, adjusted for fairness) = 30% On average ~21% of content is POV. Vol 10 contains ~ 2 POV chapters out of 14 = 14% Vol 11 contains ~ 2 POV chapters out of 16 = 12.5% Vol 12 contains ~ 1 1/2 POV chapters out of 16 = 9% On average ~12% of content is POV. \Note* Several chapters are not purely dedicated to secondary character POVs but rather "cut aways" between Rudy's own perspective and are occasionally EXTREMELY short (I assigned 1/4 amounts for especially short POVs to give them weight, but to prevent over-representing them. Additionally while chapters vary in length they generally represent individual events which I feel is a more apt form of measurement to relate to the anime adaptation in place of page counts (you're not gonna find the table of contents, copyrights, or the author's afterward being adapted after all). These are VERY rough estimations and should not be taken as "objective" measurements.))
Look at that proportional difference for Volume 10-12 relative to the other cours. While production had the advantage of consistently folding a little more than 1/5 of the content into the current runtime the current cour has almost 10% more content competing for the same amount of screen time as the cour before it. In fact, it's significantly LESS screen time as only the 1st episode bypassed the OP/ED compared to Cour 1's 4 episodes (and if you include the OVA, cour 1 already had a 24 minute head start in addition to the extra 3 per ep for a whopping total of 36 extra minutes of runtime over cour 2), Even if we're exceedingly generous and assume the next 4 episodes skip the OP/ED each, that would still leave it at a 24 minute disadvantage just in comparison to cour 1, not to mention the additional screen time afforded to S1 as I've already covered.

Part 3: Screen Time as a Resource (aka Content / Time = Stress)

In a novel characters can engage in chapter length diatribes or strategic planning in their own heads, engage in "talking is a free action" whilst in a fight to the death, and all sorts of ridiculous temporal bending contrivances that simply do not translate to the screen where time is the single most precious commodity (unless you're a shonen protagonist charging up your kamehameha). So let's view this from the scriptwriters' perspective to understand why they are forced to make some very difficult choices. As you are starting work on your assigned episode(s), the show's production committee makes the call that while previously you were afforded as much as ~300 minutes (5 hours) to convey ~1K pages of material, this time you only get ~255 minutes (4 1/4 hours) to convey ~1200 pages of the same density of material. Much more information to convey in much less time and you only JUST BARELY scrapped by to include as much as you could the last 3 times. That's means that at a MINIMUM, 200 of those pages are destined for the cutting room floor.
Though speaking of shounen protagonists, action set pieces are extraordinarily useful for either expanding OR condensing a scene's runtime by exactly as much as you need to fit within an episode's runtime. Need to add time? Go balls-to-the-wall, high-octane, budget-melting sakuga insanity that outshines even the source material (Turning Point 2/Eris vs Assassins) or you can condense high page counts into surprisingly short runtimes while still conveying the impact and information stored in those several pages worth of text. High impact, malleable screen time, same information conveyed. More time to dedicate to world building and secondary character development. As such, S1 (cour 2 especially) had a TREMENDOUS amount of leeway in how much they wished to expand OR condense action scenes at their discretion compared to the (comparatively) action-lite S2 (for Cour 1 at least).
So then you might ask with Cour 2 revving up the action again, why is it instead CUTTING tons of those action scenes rather than merely truncating them to make space for dialogue scenes like the prior cours? The short answer is there's already no time to spare. The longer, more complex answer is action scenes can't exist in a vacuum. In the same way you have to accelerate and decelerate in your car evenly to get from point A to point B safely, you can't simply hit 0-60 mph in under 2 seconds and you certainly can't go from 60 to 0 in a fraction of a second unless you want an episodes' pacing to liquify like your internal organs. Before, during, and sometimes after a fight scene is initiated, several questions need to be answered for the audience like "Who/what is fighting?" "Where are they positioned?" "What is the level of threat?" "What are the stakes?" "What are the win conditions?" with greater or fewer questions depending on the complexity of the scene or it's meaning to the character(s). Failing to provide the audience adequate answers to these questions can easily result in a nonsensical farce.... unless that's literally your intention. Thankfully, the requirement for winding down action is much simpler. After a beat of heightened tension, your protagonist simply lowers their guard/weapon and the message communicated to the audience is "the threat is over" and within seconds you can move to the next scene.
Most major encounters follow this rhythm throughout the series, with individual chapters dedicated solely to these fights, spanning page counts that are generally (but not always) on the higher end. In general, there are only 1-2 major battles per volume. Vol 11 and 12, by contrast, have several chapters that contain a half dozen individual skirmishes apiece that make adapting the material a total NIGHTMARE to pick and choose what makes the cut. So as an example, a weirdly high amount of time is seemingly spent establishing the succubus encounter in ep 19. Why you may ask? So they could ride those same rules of engagement straight into the following montage to inform the audience "these fights possess the same rules of engagement we just established" without having to spend the additional time winding up each one individually (another, more humorous example, is Ruijerd "dueling" the 3 North God students in a row). The montage also pulls double duty by conveying both the passage of time and distance. You'd think truncating roughly 1/5 of the entire volume into a scant 60 seconds would give them plenty of extra time to work with, but sadly, the ability to condense content is still only enough to break even with the established pace.
Another major element that placed Season 2 at a massive disadvantage is that Season 2 had to use it's precious 25th episode OVA to *catch up* on content that was deferred from Season 1 as Sylphy's POV chapters starting all the way back in Vol 4 did not make the cut. So rather than getting a jump start, the OVA was actually just catching up on deferred content that could not be included DESPITE all of the tremendous advantages I've previously discussed. And even then, it still needed to skip all but a few scant details from the intervening chapters that bridge the gap between Sylphy becoming Silent Fitz and Ariel's entire entourage fleeing to Ranoa's University of Magic resulting in all but 5 of them being slaughtered by assassins in hideously gruesome fashion. In a nutshell, Season 2 actually only has 24 episodes to dedicate to itself, and most of the benefits of scheduling seems to have heavily favored Cour 1 over Cour 2.
At this point, assuming like everyone else who joined up with Studio Bind, you are yourself a massive fan of the series and absolutely love these novels, you are effectively being asked to CHOOSE your favorite children chapters to sacrifice in the name of ending the season at a satisfying arc conclusion. Sure you could just adapt at the same rate of chapters-to-screen time as before and conclude the final 12th episode with THAT THING THAT HAPPENS but somehow I feel like doing so would result in death threats being strapped to a brick and hurled through your office windows. You've certainly maintained the integrity of the show's original pacing, but telling fans to sit tight until the next production cycle is ready in another 2-3 years feels like a recipe for disaster.
And frankly, Vol 12 has some INTENSELY heavy dialogue/monologue scenes filing out the back half of the volume that are going to need significantly more screen time to convey the necessary information relative to the first half as it is ENTIRELY Rudy-centric. So the only way to get there with enough time to allow the season to reach a natural and satisfying conclusion and still hit all of the vitally necessary plot threads is to put those proverbial chapter babies containing some of your favorite character interactions and world building on the alter as a ritual sacrifice for more time on the clock. And what did those sacrifices get you? 5 episodes. A range of 105-117 minutes (depending on OP/ED usage) of screen time to cover the single densest volume since vol 3 (see above). Barely one episode ahead of pace (but in terms of available screen time still barely ahead) of prior cours. And if you think it's unfortunate that ACTION was being cut, oh lordy I have some *bad news for you.\*

Part 4: Screenwriting as an Artform (aka how write story gud)

"But why are they STILL so stretched for time if they have access to and are utilizing all of these time-saving techniques?" Well I'm hoping the previous 3 parts of this gargantuan multi-tiered super essay have helped establish the constraints Studio Bind are working under compared to the prior cours. Cour 2 is working with significantly LESS screen time, with MORE events to manage and they're already so stretched for time that even multi-chapter spanning story events like the Merchant caravan are being cut entirely, rather than merely abridged, to make up that difference.
The requirement for "essential viewing" grows ever higher as mundane scenes like coming in and out of the teleporter still HAVE to be given priority over fan-beloved moments of character development because as uninteresting as those kinds of expository, utilitarian scenes are, they serve a far more vital purpose in a screenplay for communicating to the audience the "BUT, THEREFORE, BECAUSE" flow of script writing (watch the video it's extremely short and a great explainer, but essentially "But = Complication", "Therefore = Next logical action", "Because = Character motivation for performing said action"). You literally cannot skip these unremarkable, bog standard scenes because doing so would commit one of the deadliest sins of storytelling that I was alluding to when discussing how to establish action scenes: The Discontinuity of the dreaded "AND THEN" statement. If you're watching a movie and it's a series of "and then this happened and then that happened and then this person showed up" it ceases to be less a story so much as watching someone's attention span annihilating slideshow of vacation photographs.
As an example, scenes like the ones that establish how, where, and why Rudy and Elinalise use the teleporter to get from Ranoa to Begaritt are slow, mundane, and heavily time consuming and yet are so absolutely necessary as a scriptwriter to take the time to make sure the audience can follow along the logical thru-line for how these scenes connect to one another. If you skip such seemingly trifling, yet necessary information, the audience is not going to react by saying "oh THAT SCENE I LOVE is coming up" but rather "wait, why are we in a desert?"
As an example I'll use the last 2 episodes to demonstrate. The logical flow of episode 19 into 20 proceeds as follows (some parts are truncated for *relative* brevity):
"Rudy needs to leave for Rapan. THEREFORE he tells everyone goodbye, BUT Nanahoshi knows how to teleport there. THEREFORE he changes his route with Elinalise. THEREFORE they get prepared BECAUSE they want to save Zenith, BUT Cliff proposes to Elinalise BECAUSE he feels his lack of commitment was making her nervous. THEREFORE Elinalise is caught off guard BECAUSE she originally intended to leave without telling him to break off their relationship. THEREFORE she accepts his proposal. THEREFORE they travel to the teleporter, BUT teleporters are considered a source of danger to adventurers. THEREFORE they study it first as a safety precaution. THEREFORE they verify it's safe operation and use it. THEREFORE they arrive in Begaritt, BUT they are attacked by a Succubus. THEREFORE Rudy needs to detox himself BECAUSE they want to keep their promise to Cliff and Sylphy. THEREFORE they continue their sexless journey, BUT they are attacked several more times. THEREFORE they kill the monsters and proceed with caution. THEREFORE they arrive in Rapan in ~6 weeks. THEREFORE Geese is surprised to see them when they arrive, BECAUSE he only sent the letter so recently. THEREFORE he takes them to see Paul. THEREFORE they reunite with Paul, BUT Paul has fallen back into depression BECAUSE they lost Roxy while failing to find Zenith. THEREFORE Rudy tells Paul about his marriage and pregnancy with Sylphy. THEREFORE Paul recovers BECAUSE of the joy and pride he feels for his son BUT still feels worthless BECAUSE of his failures. THEREFORE Paul finally notices Elinalise. THEREFORE he apologizes BECAUSE ....uh y'know that thing that happened. THEREFORE Paul and Elinalise reconcile BUT Paul is confused that she didn't sleep with Rudy BECAUSE of her curse. THEREFORE she explains her husband Cliff's magic tool BUT Paul can't believe she has a husband. THEREFORE they get into another spat BUT the rest of the party returns during their argument THEREFORE Rudy learns that Roxy is lost in the labyrinth. THEREFORE Rudy starts to panic as the party begins to squabble. THEREFORE Elinalise takes Rudy's shoulder to draw his attention BECAUSE she realized he was panicking. THEREFORE Rudy asks to be caught up on the situation. THEREFORE Paul describes the difficulty of the Teleportation Labyrinth. THEREFORE Rudy gives Geese the book detailing it's depths which he borrowed BECAUSE he would be using a teleporter to get to Begaritt, BUT it will take Geese time to read it. THEREFORE Paul calls the meeting to a close to allow Geese to adjust their strategy using the book. THEREFORE Rudy, Paul, and Lilia start talking, BUT Paul is still a crude dude. THEREFORE the topic turns to sex BUT Lilia is in denial about being a total sex freak. THEREFORE Paul teases her BECAUSE he knowns how much she likes it rough. THEREFORE they retire for the night after some locker room talk. THEREFORE they depart for the labyrinth the following day. THEREFORE they reach the labyrinth and begin their descent, BUT Paul is breaking formation to show off in front of Rudeus. THEREFORE Elinalise scolds him, BECAUSE she wants to keep her family safe. THEREFORE Paul flippantly dismisses her claims of thinking of him like a son, BUT he is unaware of their connection through Sylphy. THEREFORE they continue further into the Labyrinth maintaining their formation, BUT they encounter new monsters. THEREFORE Rudy starts to cast a spell, BUT Talhand advises him not to use fire BECAUSE it fills a room with poison BECAUSE the concept of carbon monoxide poisoning exists but isn't fully understood in this universe BUT he also advices not attacking the ceiling BECAUSE it could cause a cave-in. THEREFORE Rudy uses ice magic to kill the remaining monsters. THEREFORE they advance to the second stratum in proper formation. THEREFORE they breeze through the second formation and take a break before entering the third. THEREFORE Geese uses the opportunity to inform Rudy that the next section is where Roxy went missing and may still be near that area BECAUSE teleporter traps only warp victims within the same stratum. THEREFORE as they approach where they lost Roxy, Geese asks Rudy where he'd look for Roxy based on his intuition. AND THEN Using his intuition, Rudy notices condensation on a wall and uses his Roxy Odor Snoof Sense to detect Roxy's location through a damn wall despite being a contrivance BUT it's the same contrivance used in the source material THEREFORE shut up. THEREFORE we cut to Roxy BUT she's being surrounded by monsters. THEREFORE she casts numerous spells to hold them at bay, BUT she runs out of mana. THEREFORE she believes she's about to die BUT Rudy saves her just in the nick of time. THEREFORE Roxy is shaken to her core at the sight of the man who saved her despite not recognizing Rudy, BUT then her POV didn't play out the way it did in the novels THEREFORE LN purists got upset BECAUSE they assumed her POV had been cut BUT they forgot that Roxy's POV has always been shown tremendous favoritism by Studio Bind THEREFORE they jumped to conclusions unaware it would happen the following episode.

THEREFORE Calm down and let Studio Bind cook

Effectively the point I hope I have demonstrated is that there IS a logical and consistent thru-line from scene to scene to scene that an audience can follow (and if you want to improve as a screenwriter, this is a GREAT exercise to figure out what makes your favorite shows tick. It's basically the screenwriter's equivalent to tracing someone else' art as practice). Even these unfairly maligned episodes have a viewing experience that provides a consistent sense of pacing. But if you want to know WHAT precisely feels different about them? Well if I had chosen to break down episodes from any of the prior 3 cours (or the best episodes of this cour), you'd be seeing the word BECAUSE significantly more to fill out every action, reaction, and complication along the way. If "THEREFORE" and "BUT" are the easel and canvas, which are necessary to even begin the process of creating art, then "BECAUSE" is the screenwriter's paintbrush that allows them to breathe life and detail into the characters on screen. The prior 3 cours were awash with "BECAUSE" statements detailing why characters are behaving the way they are in every individual scene so if there's one crime that can legitimately be pinned against several episodes in the latest cour, it's "JUST 'CUZ."

PART FINAL: The TL;DR (aka the... tl;dr)

So having laid all this out in such verbose, granular detail, what exactly does all of this mean?
To put it bluntly, Season 1 being such a near-perfect masterwork of adaptation spoiled the ever loving hell out of us. Having gorged ourselves on that expectation, we've ruined our appetites because now such perks are simply anticipated as standard with a vocal minority now irked by the use of a standard OP simply because it follows the conventions of the medium or (stay with me here) committing the sin of appealing to shonen fans. I know, truly a crime worthy of sudoku because of 14 seconds depicting one of the single most important events in the series. I truly don't understand (seriously, explain it to me please).
The current cour is merely receiving the same treatment most adaptations are given while still outperforming its peers if weekly rankings are anything to go by. Episodes range from pretty good to excellent (Norn and Nanahoshi's spotlight eps being the highlights thus far despite some grumbling) with even the extremely barebones Ep 19 squeezing in what sparse worldbuilding nuggets it can despite the plot literally necessitating that Rudy book it from one side of the planet to the other within a 21 minute period (a production level pacing decision you are still free to criticize). As I said earlier (but it bears repeating) these episodes are a good adaptation of Rudy's story rather than the whole that makes up MT because it simply doesn't have the screen time to focus on anything that falls outside the scope of his perspective given the sheer breadth of competing narrative essential content. As a show, these episodes are still delivering a cohesive and engaging thru-line by being glued to Rudy's perspective. So as long as Rudy remains interesting to watch the audience will be more than satisfied.
Expecting the same anomalous level of dedication AND leniency from the production committee to happen for every season was unfortunately nothing but a pipe dream. Cour 2 is now being forced to make due with what it has and while they are doing a commendable job given the heavy restrictions, it is completely unreasonable to expect them to fit so much into such tight confines. It is the adaptation equivalent of being asked to fit everything into one grocery bag, but not wanting the bag to be heavy.
Could this cour have been scheduled better? Absolutely. Was it possible certain changes to the script or episode direction could have provided more opportunities to explore the cut content? Of course. Is it still a total bummer that the realities of production that have compromised the artistic integrity of our beloved peak fiction? Without a doubt.
We are simply going to have to get used to the fact that S1 may never be topped with our only hope being the return of the waifu-wars for S3 rekindles the beefs between animators vying for shot assignments (which may hopefully still be in the cards god willing).
Of course, I'm not a future seer, so maybe, just maybe, Studio Bind bursts into flames and all of the footage is lost resulting in the quality of the last 3 episodes to be the worst drop off of a television show since the final season of Game of Thrones. If that is the case then I'll be eating more crow than I ever have in my life. But if Studio Bind sticks the landing and delivers on the emotional climax to one of the most beloved arcs among the fanbase that we've anticipated for years, then please calm it down with these exaggerated "cutting content is ruining the show" claims.
Thank you from coming to my Ted Talk and enjoy the rest of the season everyone.
submitted by TitanAura to mushokutensei [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 22:49 sarah120724 Worsened Flare Ups since starting Visanne

I live in Ottawa (F21) and have been diagnosed with endometriosis for a couple months now but suffering from crazy painful diagnosed endometriomas since September 2023 and cysts/ painful periods for 6 years. I can’t even express how terrible this has all been for the past couple years on top of other worsened chronic pain. I have lost my future and I struggle to find passion in life. I can barely work 10 hours a week and only because I have an amazing accommodating work environment due to a center that helps students with disabilities find work. I’ve been trying to get back to school for years mostly to keep this job and if I don’t take a course in the fall I get taken out of my program and lose my job. This has all made my suicidal ideation so much worse and I’m only living for my loved ones who are willing to support me forever if needed. I’m tired of suffering and I don’t want to die but with the lack of diagnoses for other conditions and treatments I have no reason to be optimistic. I’ve been on an IUD for 4 years now after trying other birth control to manage painful cysts and periods. It helped until 2ish years ago when my periods came back a bit less intense but the cramps got so much worse. Before Visanne I couldn’t walk more than 30ish mins because it always caused a flare up and felt like I was going to pull a muscle or too nauseous/ light headed from the pain. I also have hypermobility and I think it’s extended to my hips recently which makes the pain worse. Because of the endometriomas the pain shoots down my legs maybe because of scare tissue somewhere on the sciatic nerve. On top of the hypermobility in my ankles and feet, my legs are not manageable anymore. I was waiting on a gyno referral since January 2023 and finally saw one a couple months ago but she had no updated information including an ultrasound that showed a 6 cm endometrioma on my left ovary from October 2023. I’ve had multiple endometriomas since then that keep hemorrhaging. Gyno recommended Level 2 ultrasound, MRI, Visanne and seeing an Endo Speciaist. I just got my ultrasound results and it said everything is normal as in no signs of endo which sucks a lot because of the flare ups from urinating, bowel movements, orgasming, walking, etc. I just wanted to a good reason for all of it. Started Visanne on May 4th so it’s been over a month but it made everything worse. My family doctor and gyno want me to stick with it but didn’t confirm if this is normal or not. My periods had finally died down to once a monthish but now it’s every couple of days with unbearable pain. Of course the pain causes my whole body to be more tense and pulls my ribs down slightly out of place. This of course has made my traps/shoulders/neck/head pain so much worse from slouching more. This just feels like I’m back at square one where I have to figure out why the pain is so much worse and reminds me of being a kid and trusting my doctors way too much. Can someone please offer any advice? Should I keep up with Visanne? Do you think they’ll still do surgery? Will I recover enough to do a university first year course by the Fall? How do I cope with all of this? I want to ask how I get my life and passions back but that’s an impossible question. I’ve had to accept this is my new norm for the rest of my life but I can’t deal with the pain fluctuations anymore I can’t keep up.
Also I’ve been on 50 mg of pregabilin morning and afternoon. 150 mg of pregabilin before bed for years. 375 mg of naproxen daily since September. Worries me even more that I’m still in this much pain despite taking these daily. I deal with a wide variety of other symptoms but this is already way too long.
submitted by sarah120724 to endometriosis [link] [comments]


2024.06.09 22:46 TitanAura The Struggles of Adapting Peak Fiction Under Strict Production Constraints

The Struggles of Adapting Peak Fiction Under Strict Production Constraints
\"But why not do both?\"
This is a follow-up to my last post defending the anime's decision to cut content for the sake of pacing but let me give you the TL;DR so you don't feel the need to have read that one before this as this post covers the same bases (and then some): The anime is first-and foremost the story of Rudeus Greyrat and must therefore prioritize his perspective, even at the cost of other characters' moments, regardless of how beloved those individual scenes are to fans of the Light Novels (myself included).
So let me start by addressing the strongest counter argument made in response to that post: "But the first season, and even Cour 1 of season 2 was able to maintain excellent pacing while having relatively few cuts! Why does the pacing in cour 2 still *FEEL* so rushed in comparison despite cutting so much?" That is an astute observation! And, quite frankly, you are asking the right questions. And for anyone planning to skip straight to the end of this admittedly \daunting* essay, here's a TL;DR for you: Episodes 19 & 20's reduced quality and heightened pace were done deliberately to provide the last 4 episodes of the season the space they need to breathe.* Continue reading if you want to find out how and why this had to be done.
It would be a fool's errand to argue that Cour 2 is NOT cutting less content than prior cours (because it absolutely is, and by quite a lot too), nor will I be arguing that the cour does NOT suffer some level of pacing issues because it absolutely is (see first post), rather I will be arguing in defense of the purpose of limiting the scope of what gets adapted, and why such decisions are necessary in the first place. However, before I delve any further into the specifics of Cour 2's production struggles, first I should elaborate how its production schedule differs from S1.

PART 1: Production Scheduling (aka setting the pace)

In case you were unaware, Season 1 was originally slated to be released in 2020 but was delayed to January of 2021 so it could actually receive all of the extra care and polish it truly deserved. For S2, Studio Bind's production staff, by contrast, had to make due with the time they were initially given. More time (and consequently more budget) usually fixes most production issues, but very few (extraordinarily rare) series ever receive that benefit and doing so twice was likely never even considered a possibility.
Sadly we are not in the alternate timeline where S2 benefitted from the same advantages that gave us gorgeous custom world-building OPs for every episode that freed up even more additional screen time for dialogue and character development (in some cases literally depicting entire chapters such as Paul's POV being shown during Ep 17's STUNNINGLY well executed OP montage). Thanks in part to that decision, S1 had significantly more wiggle room to work with, especially pertaining to the secondary cast, allowing it to more evenly adapt the world building, character development, and main narrative plotline of Mushoku Tensei as a whole utilizing that extra runtime (90 seconds per episode adds up to a LOT over the course of an entire season, plus the 5 EDs, that were integrated as needed on a per-episode basis, for an additional 7 1/2 minutes which adds up to a WHOPPING 43 1/2 MINUTES over the course of that 24 episode run and I should point out that S2 Cour 1 ALSO benefitted from this for the first 5 episodes including the OVA, giving that cour an added 9 minutes to utilize with Cour 2 receiving a paltry 3 minutes as only the 1st episode integrates the OP/ED runtime).
It's simply the reality that polish and quality was prioritized for S1 while scheduling and budget were prioritized for S2. If you want to be especially harsh, one could say S1 was treated as art, while S2 was treated as a commercial product, which is why I've set my expectations accordingly and hope this post helps others do the same. This becomes more apparent when you take into consideration that Studio Bind were also working on Onimai at the same time as S2 given their air dates were only 6 months apart. So not only was S2 not being given the same scheduling priority, it was COMPETING for resources. Given the BD sales numbers for every project they've released, at a minimum we can be assured that Studio Bind has been financially successful at least but the double edged nature of that success also means that certain priorities may have shifted away from MT and towards the new cash-cow. There's a reason I phrased my previous post so specifically: These episodes are a fine adaptation of Rudy's story.... and not much else because it simply doesn't have the screen time or resources to focus on anything besides Rudy's share of the narrative and character development.
Which ties directly into the second reason as to why cour 2 FEELS so rushed, even in comparison to cour 1. The contents of Volumes 10, 11, and 12 are significantly more *LINEAR\* with more individual events being depicted compared to Volumes 1-9. This translates to more content vying for screen time. But how much content are we talking about here? Well, I don't want to go too deeply into raw numbers as that's not really the point but let's set a baseline with some quick-n-dirty math to illustrate:
S1c1 covers 1326 pg / 3 = 442 pg/vol (11 episodes) = 40.2 pg / ep S1c2 covers 1280 pg / 3 = 427 pg/vol (12 episodes + OVA) = 32.8 pg / ep S2c1 covers 1268 pg / 3 = 423 pg/vol (12 episodes + OVA) = 32.5 pg / ep S2c2 covers 1381 pg / 3 = 460 pg/vol (12 episodes) = 38.3 pg / ep
Obviously these are EXTREMELY rough numbers that don't take into account any of the cut content, non-chapter related pages, nor the difference in available runtime afforded to S1 that I previously mentioned, but just by raw page count, that's technically LESS content than what the first 11 episodes of Season 1 had to adapt! Surely they could just tweak a few things to make everything fit! Unfortunately, it's not that simple. You see, there's a distinct lack of a certain type of content that made the lives of the production staff significantly easier by providing plenty of opportunities to pick and choose what made it into the final cut of an episode's runtime to keep the mainline story of Rudeus chugging along at the leisurely clip we're accustomed to.

PART 2: Narrative Fluff (aka work smarter, not longer)

Spoiler: It's the sheer density of secondary character POVs. The very ones we often grieved being cut as the episodes were coming out during S1. They add depth and complexity to the characters (and are, imho, singularly the most *profoundly insightful* pieces of writing Rifujin-sensei has ever produced) but 90% of the time are simply repeating the same events from a new perspective. HOWEVER, when adapted to an audio-visual medium, you can SHOW both perspectives simultaneously and let the audience infer what's going on in a secondary character's mind through the use of voice acting, animation, staging, lighting, OST, and sound design thereby allowing the anime-only audience to receive 90% of the same information that was conveyed during those same events in the novels.
The "missing" Eris POV is the primary example of this disconnect between how little LN readers think Anime-onlys are inferring and how much is being successfully communicated to them even if they themselves can't properly articulate what it was they took away from any particular scene. I highly recommend paying close attention to Eris' face in the 3 following episodes after the events of Turning Point 2 RATHER THAN READING THE SUBTITLES (dub watchers have an advantage here but BOTH performances do an incredible job) and you'll see (and hear) what I'm talking about. Sure we don't get every beat of her thought process spelled out for us in quite the same level of detail as in her POV chapter, but you can sense her inner conflict while watching Rudeus practice Disturb Magic as they ride into the outskirts of Fittoa and her heartache at seeing him standing forlornly in the ruins of his destroyed childhood home. The idea that she doesn't feel "worthy" of him is already being communicated by her facial expressions and her body language. Her letter stating how they aren't "well-balanced" in combination with that visual information is already providing context clues to the viewer as to what's going on in her head. In her final scene you can hear the sheer depth of her love give way to a deeply instilled sense of self-loathing, just by the tone of her voice, as she hoists Rudeus up onto that pedestal. Yet as she nears the end of her melancholic monologue more of that brash, passionate nature of hers seeps back into her delivery as pours her heart out.
To quote Harry Plinkett: "It's so subtle, you might not have even noticed... but your brain did."
The only emotion you could argue was nerfed by the adaptation is the depths of her self-loathing for having "taken advantage of him" after their night together but they still get a line in about their age and size difference, which when heard in her self-flagellating tone describing how "awful" she's been to him, you can easily make that inference. But you might also say "AHA even in those 3 episodes they left out how devastated she was when Rudy beat her using the demon eye after she finally gained some confidence in her strength" to which I say: Watch Ep 13: Missed Connections and, again, pay attention to Eris. Every part off the Buffalo was used.
They also never deliberately spell out her ardent belief that Rudeus is so strong and smart and amazing and brave and perfect that regardless of whatever she wrote as she struggled to find the words to leave in her letter, he would just clairvoyantly understand her intentions.... but you don't really NEED that spelled out for you when her final appearance is her shouting to the high heavens about how in love she is directly juxtaposed with Rudeus reverting to his former self-image shut away in his bedroom after very specifically misunderstanding the meaning of her words and actions! "I LOVE THIS MAN she screams as the man she loves thinks to himself "I can't believe she doesn't love me anymore." Seeing that, anyone could conclude "Were you expecting him to just KNOW what you meant??" Yes. Yes she was.
The Eris' POV wasn't "skipped content"... it was integrated. It's broken up and repurposed in bits and pieces over the course of 4, count 'em, FOUR separate episodes but 99% of it is there if you know what to look for (which for anime onlys is considered rewatch value).
By going through this in such agonizing detail I hope I'm properly communicating one of the greatest hang ups LN readers seem to have (or adaptational purists in general) relative to their expectations: You are putting entirely too much value into dialogue, monologue, and the text of a script relative to every other element the medium has to offer. The absence of TEXT does not diminish the SUBTEXT. An individual viewer might not know WHY they believe a character motivation exists as it does, but by and large most will pick up on those details whether it be deliberate (in the case of a certain psychologist youtuber who keeps nailing plot predictions over and over BECAUSE ALL OF THE INFORMATION YOU NEED IS RIGHT, THE F**K, THERE) or subconsciously (in the case of most passive audience members).

PART 1 (COUR 2): THE RESCHEDULENING (aka MATH)

Now, having detailed how a POV chapter can actually be efficiently absorbed into the runtime of the show without disrupting or sidetracking the main narrative, let's re-examine the topic of how (as well as why) this affects the production schedule. As I previously stated, overall Volume 1-9 have quite a number of POV chapters to work around as buffers to the rest of the content. Don't believe me? Let me break it down a bit more then:
Vol 1 contains ~ 2 1/2 POV chapters out of 10 = 25% Vol 2 contains ~ 2 3/4 POV chapters out of 11 = 25% Vol 3 contains ~ 1 POV chapters out of 15 = 6.5% (one of the longer action heavy volumes, yet only 3 eps) On average ~19% of content is POV. Vol 4 contains ~ 2 1/4 POV chapters out of 12 = 19% Vol 5 contains ~ 4 POV chapters out of 11 = 36% Vol 6 contains ~ 2 1/4 POV chapters out of 15 = 15% On average ~23% of content is POV. Vol 7 contains ~ 1 1/4 POV chapters out of 8 (technically 9, short prologue + epilogue combined) = 15.5% Vol 8 contains ~ 2 POV chapters out of 12 = 17% Vol 9 contains ~ 3.75 POV chapters out of 12.5 (several very short POVs, adjusted for fairness) = 30% On average ~21% of content is POV. Vol 10 contains ~ 2 POV chapters out of 14 = 14% Vol 11 contains ~ 2 POV chapters out of 16 = 12.5% Vol 12 contains ~ 1 1/2 POV chapters out of 16 = 9% On average ~12% of content is POV. \Note* Several chapters are not purely dedicated to secondary character POVs but rather "cut aways" between Rudy's own perspective and are occasionally EXTREMELY short (I assigned 1/4 amounts for especially short POVs to give them weight, but to prevent over-representing them. Additionally while chapters vary in length they generally represent individual events which I feel is a more apt form of measurement to relate to the anime adaptation in place of page counts (you're not gonna find the table of contents, copyrights, or the author's afterward being adapted after all). These are VERY rough estimations and should not be taken as "objective" measurements.))
Look at that proportional difference for Volume 10-12 relative to the other cours. While production had the advantage of consistently folding a little more than 1/5 of the content into the current runtime the current cour has almost 10% more content competing for the same amount of screen time as the cour before it. In fact, it's significantly LESS screen time as only the 1st episode bypassed the OP/ED compared to Cour 1's 4 episodes (and if you include the OVA, cour 1 already had a 24 minute head start in addition to the extra 3 per ep for a whopping total of 36 extra minutes of runtime over cour 2), Even if we're exceedingly generous and assume the next 4 episodes skip the OP/ED each, that would still leave it at a 24 minute disadvantage just in comparison to cour 1, not to mention the additional screen time afforded to S1 as I've already covered.

Part 3: Screen Time as a Resource (aka Content / Time = Stress)

In a novel characters can engage in chapter length diatribes or strategic planning in their own heads, engage in "talking is a free action" whilst in a fight to the death, and all sorts of ridiculous temporal bending contrivances that simply do not translate to the screen where time is the single most precious commodity (unless you're a shonen protagonist charging up your kamehameha). So let's view this from the scriptwriters' perspective to understand why they are forced to make some very difficult choices. As you are starting work on your assigned episode(s), the show's production committee makes the call that while previously you were afforded as much as ~300 minutes (5 hours) to convey ~1K pages of material, this time you only get ~255 minutes (4 1/4 hours) to convey ~1200 pages of the same density of material. Much more information to convey in much less time and you only JUST BARELY scrapped by to include as much as you could the last 3 times. That's means that at a MINIMUM, 200 of those pages are destined for the cutting room floor.
Though speaking of shounen protagonists, action set pieces are extraordinarily useful for either expanding OR condensing a scene's runtime by exactly as much as you need to fit within an episode's runtime. Need to add time? Go balls-to-the-wall, high-octane, budget-melting sakuga insanity that outshines even the source material (Turning Point 2/Eris vs Assassins) or you can condense high page counts into surprisingly short runtimes while still conveying the impact and information stored in those several pages worth of text. High impact, malleable screen time, same information conveyed. More time to dedicate to world building and secondary character development. As such, S1 (cour 2 especially) had a TREMENDOUS amount of leeway in how much they wished to expand OR condense action scenes at their discretion compared to the (comparatively) action-lite S2 (for Cour 1 at least).
So then you might ask with Cour 2 revving up the action again, why is it instead CUTTING tons of those action scenes rather than merely truncating them to make space for dialogue scenes like the prior cours? The short answer is there's already no time to spare. The longer, more complex answer is action scenes can't exist in a vacuum. In the same way you have to accelerate and decelerate in your car evenly to get from point A to point B safely, you can't simply hit 0-60 mph in under 2 seconds and you certainly can't go from 60 to 0 in a fraction of a second unless you want an episodes' pacing to liquify like your internal organs. Before, during, and sometimes after a fight scene is initiated, several questions need to be answered for the audience like "Who/what is fighting?" "Where are they positioned?" "What is the level of threat?" "What are the stakes?" "What are the win conditions?" with greater or fewer questions depending on the complexity of the scene or it's meaning to the character(s). Failing to provide the audience adequate answers to these questions can easily result in a nonsensical farce.... unless that's literally your intention. Thankfully, the requirement for winding down action is much simpler. After a beat of heightened tension, your protagonist simply lowers their guard/weapon and the message communicated to the audience is "the threat is over" and within seconds you can move to the next scene.
Most major encounters follow this rhythm throughout the series, with individual chapters dedicated solely to these fights, spanning page counts that are generally (but not always) on the higher end. In general, there are only 1-2 major battles per volume. Vol 11 and 12, by contrast, have several chapters that contain a half dozen individual skirmishes apiece that make adapting the material a total NIGHTMARE to pick and choose what makes the cut. So as an example, a weirdly high amount of time is seemingly spent establishing the succubus encounter in ep 19. Why you may ask? So they could ride those same rules of engagement straight into the following montage to inform the audience "these fights possess the same rules of engagement we just established" without having to spend the additional time winding up each one individually (another, more humorous example, is Ruijerd "dueling" the 3 North God students in a row). The montage also pulls double duty by conveying both the passage of time and distance. You'd think truncating roughly 1/5 of the entire volume into a scant 60 seconds would give them plenty of extra time to work with, but sadly, the ability to condense content is still only enough to break even with the established pace.
Another major element that placed Season 2 at a massive disadvantage is that Season 2 had to use it's precious 25th episode OVA to *catch up* on content that was deferred from Season 1 as Sylphy's POV chapters starting all the way back in Vol 4 did not make the cut. So rather than getting a jump start, the OVA was actually just catching up on deferred content that could not be included DESPITE all of the tremendous advantages I've previously discussed. And even then, it still needed to skip all but a few scant details from the intervening chapters that bridge the gap between Sylphy becoming Silent Fitz and Ariel's entire entourage fleeing to Ranoa's University of Magic resulting in all but 5 of them being slaughtered by assassins in hideously gruesome fashion. In a nutshell, Season 2 actually only has 24 episodes to dedicate to itself, and most of the benefits of scheduling seems to have heavily favored Cour 1 over Cour 2.
At this point, assuming like everyone else who joined up with Studio Bind, you are yourself a massive fan of the series and absolutely love these novels, you are effectively being asked to CHOOSE your favorite children chapters to sacrifice in the name of ending the season at a satisfying arc conclusion. Sure you could just adapt at the same rate of chapters-to-screen time as before and conclude the final 12th episode with THAT THING THAT HAPPENS but somehow I feel like doing so would result in death threats being strapped to a brick and hurled through your office windows. You've certainly maintained the integrity of the show's original pacing, but telling fans to sit tight until the next production cycle is ready in another 2-3 years feels like a recipe for disaster.
And frankly, Vol 12 has some INTENSELY heavy dialogue/monologue scenes filing out the back half of the volume that are going to need significantly more screen time to convey the necessary information relative to the first half as it is ENTIRELY Rudy-centric. So the only way to get there with enough time to allow the season to reach a natural and satisfying conclusion and still hit all of the vitally necessary plot threads is to put those proverbial chapter babies containing some of your favorite character interactions and world building on the alter as a ritual sacrifice for more time on the clock. And what did those sacrifices get you? 5 episodes. A range of 105-117 minutes (depending on OP/ED usage) of screen time to cover the single densest volume since vol 3 (see above). Barely one episode ahead of pace (but in terms of available screen time still barely ahead) of prior cours. And if you think it's unfortunate that ACTION was being cut, oh lordy I have some *bad news for you.\*

Part 4: Screenwriting as an Artform (aka how write story gud)

"But why are they STILL so stretched for time if they have access to and are utilizing all of these time-saving techniques?" Well I'm hoping the previous 3 parts of this gargantuan multi-tiered super essay have helped establish the constraints Studio Bind are working under compared to the prior cours. Cour 2 is working with significantly LESS screen time, with MORE events to manage and they're already so stretched for time that even multi-chapter spanning story events like the Merchant caravan are being cut entirely, rather than merely abridged, to make up that difference.
The requirement for "essential viewing" grows ever higher as mundane scenes like coming in and out of the teleporter still HAVE to be given priority over fan-beloved moments of character development because as uninteresting as those kinds of expository, utilitarian scenes are, they serve a far more vital purpose in a screenplay for communicating to the audience the "BUT, THEREFORE, BECAUSE" flow of script writing (watch the video it's extremely short and a great explainer, but essentially "But = Complication", "Therefore = Next logical action", "Because = Character motivation for performing said action"). You literally cannot skip these unremarkable, bog standard scenes because doing so would commit one of the deadliest sins of storytelling that I was alluding to when discussing how to establish action scenes: The Discontinuity of the dreaded "AND THEN" statement. If you're watching a movie and it's a series of "and then this happened and then that happened and then this person showed up" it ceases to be less a story so much as watching someone's attention span annihilating slideshow of vacation photographs.
As an example, scenes like the ones that establish how, where, and why Rudy and Elinalise use the teleporter to get from Ranoa to Begaritt are slow, mundane, and heavily time consuming and yet are so absolutely necessary as a scriptwriter to take the time to make sure the audience can follow along the logical thru-line for how these scenes connect to one another. If you skip such seemingly trifling, yet necessary information, the audience is not going to react by saying "oh THAT SCENE I LOVE is coming up" but rather "wait, why are we in a desert?"
As an example I'll use the last 2 episodes to demonstrate. The logical flow of episode 19 into 20 proceeds as follows (some parts are truncated for *relative* brevity):
"Rudy needs to leave for Rapan. THEREFORE he tells everyone goodbye, BUT Nanahoshi knows how to teleport there. THEREFORE he changes his route with Elinalise. THEREFORE they get prepared BECAUSE they want to save Zenith, BUT Cliff proposes to Elinalise BECAUSE he feels his lack of commitment was making her nervous. THEREFORE Elinalise is caught off guard BECAUSE she originally intended to leave without telling him to break off their relationship. THEREFORE she accepts his proposal. THEREFORE they travel to the teleporter, BUT teleporters are considered a source of danger to adventurers. THEREFORE they study it first as a safety precaution. THEREFORE they verify it's safe operation and use it. THEREFORE they arrive in Begaritt, BUT they are attacked by a Succubus. THEREFORE Rudy needs to detox himself BECAUSE they want to keep their promise to Cliff and Sylphy. THEREFORE they continue their sexless journey, BUT they are attacked several more times. THEREFORE they kill the monsters and proceed with caution. THEREFORE they arrive in Rapan in ~6 weeks. THEREFORE Geese is surprised to see them when they arrive, BECAUSE he only sent the letter so recently. THEREFORE he takes them to see Paul. THEREFORE they reunite with Paul, BUT Paul has fallen back into depression BECAUSE they lost Roxy while failing to find Zenith. THEREFORE Rudy tells Paul about his marriage and pregnancy with Sylphy. THEREFORE Paul recovers BECAUSE of the joy and pride he feels for his son BUT still feels worthless BECAUSE of his failures. THEREFORE Paul finally notices Elinalise. THEREFORE he apologizes BECAUSE ....uh y'know that thing that happened. THEREFORE Paul and Elinalise reconcile BUT Paul is confused that she didn't sleep with Rudy BECAUSE of her curse. THEREFORE she explains her husband Cliff's magic tool BUT Paul can't believe she has a husband. THEREFORE they get into another spat BUT the rest of the party returns during their argument THEREFORE Rudy learns that Roxy is lost in the labyrinth. THEREFORE Rudy starts to panic as the party begins to squabble. THEREFORE Elinalise takes Rudy's shoulder to draw his attention BECAUSE she realized he was panicking. THEREFORE Rudy asks to be caught up on the situation. THEREFORE Paul describes the difficulty of the Teleportation Labyrinth. THEREFORE Rudy gives Geese the book detailing it's depths which he borrowed BECAUSE he would be using a teleporter to get to Begaritt, BUT it will take Geese time to read it. THEREFORE Paul calls the meeting to a close to allow Geese to adjust their strategy using the book. THEREFORE Rudy, Paul, and Lilia start talking, BUT Paul is still a crude dude. THEREFORE the topic turns to sex BUT Lilia is in denial about being a total sex freak. THEREFORE Paul teases her BECAUSE he knowns how much she likes it rough. THEREFORE they retire for the night after some locker room talk. THEREFORE they depart for the labyrinth the following day. THEREFORE they reach the labyrinth and begin their descent, BUT Paul is breaking formation to show off in front of Rudeus. THEREFORE Elinalise scolds him, BECAUSE she wants to keep her family safe. THEREFORE Paul flippantly dismisses her claims of thinking of him like a son, BUT he is unaware of their connection through Sylphy. THEREFORE they continue further into the Labyrinth maintaining their formation, BUT they encounter new monsters. THEREFORE Rudy starts to cast a spell, BUT Talhand advises him not to use fire BECAUSE it fills a room with poison BECAUSE the concept of carbon monoxide poisoning exists but isn't fully understood in this universe BUT he also advices not attacking the ceiling BECAUSE it could cause a cave-in. THEREFORE Rudy uses ice magic to kill the remaining monsters. THEREFORE they advance to the second stratum in proper formation. THEREFORE they breeze through the second formation and take a break before entering the third. THEREFORE Geese uses the opportunity to inform Rudy that the next section is where Roxy went missing and may still be near that area BECAUSE teleporter traps only warp victims within the same stratum. THEREFORE as they approach where they lost Roxy, Geese asks Rudy where he'd look for Roxy based on his intuition. AND THEN Using his intuition, Rudy notices condensation on a wall and uses his Roxy Odor Snoof Sense to detect Roxy's location through a damn wall despite being a contrivance BUT it's the same contrivance used in the source material THEREFORE shut up. THEREFORE we cut to Roxy BUT she's being surrounded by monsters. THEREFORE she casts numerous spells to hold them at bay, BUT she runs out of mana. THEREFORE she believes she's about to die BUT Rudy saves her just in the nick of time. THEREFORE Roxy is shaken to her core at the sight of the man who saved her despite not recognizing Rudy, BUT then her POV didn't play out the way it did in the novels THEREFORE LN purists got upset BECAUSE they assumed her POV had been cut BUT they forgot that Roxy's POV has always been shown tremendous favoritism by Studio Bind THEREFORE they jumped to conclusions unaware it would happen the following episode.

THEREFORE Calm down and let Studio Bind cook

Effectively the point I hope I have demonstrated is that there IS a logical and consistent thru-line from scene to scene to scene that an audience can follow (and if you want to improve as a screenwriter, this is a GREAT exercise to figure out what makes your favorite shows tick. It's basically the screenwriter's equivalent to tracing someone else' art as practice). Even these unfairly maligned episodes have a viewing experience that provides a consistent sense of pacing. But if you want to know WHAT precisely feels different about them? Well if I had chosen to break down episodes from any of the prior 3 cours (or the best episodes of this cour), you'd be seeing the word BECAUSE significantly more to fill out every action, reaction, and complication along the way. If "THEREFORE" and "BUT" are the easel and canvas, which are necessary to even begin the process of creating art, then "BECAUSE" is the screenwriter's paintbrush that allows them to breathe life and detail into the characters on screen. The prior 3 cours were awash with "BECAUSE" statements detailing why characters are behaving the way they are in every individual scene so if there's one crime that can legitimately be pinned against several episodes in the latest cour, it's "JUST 'CUZ."

PART FINAL: The TL;DR (aka the... tl;dr)

So having laid all this out in such verbose, granular detail, what exactly does all of this mean?
To put it bluntly, Season 1 being such a near-perfect masterwork of adaptation spoiled the ever loving hell out of us. Having gorged ourselves on that expectation, we've ruined our appetites because now such perks are simply anticipated as standard with a vocal minority now irked by the use of a standard OP simply because it follows the conventions of the medium or (stay with me here) committing the sin of appealing to shonen fans. I know, truly a crime worthy of sudoku because of 14 seconds depicting one of the single most important events in the series. I truly don't understand (seriously, explain it to me please).
The current cour is merely receiving the same treatment most adaptations are given while still outperforming its peers if weekly rankings are anything to go by. Episodes range from pretty good to excellent (Norn and Nanahoshi's spotlight eps being the highlights thus far despite some grumbling) with even the extremely barebones Ep 19 squeezing in what sparse worldbuilding nuggets it can despite the plot literally necessitating that Rudy book it from one side of the planet to the other within a 21 minute period (a production level pacing decision you are still free to criticize). As I said earlier (but it bears repeating) these episodes are a good adaptation of Rudy's story rather than the whole that makes up MT because it simply doesn't have the screen time to focus on anything that falls outside the scope of his perspective given the sheer breadth of competing narrative essential content. As a show, these episodes are still delivering a cohesive and engaging thru-line by being glued to Rudy's perspective. So as long as Rudy remains interesting to watch the audience will be more than satisfied.
Expecting the same anomalous level of dedication AND leniency from the production committee to happen for every season was unfortunately nothing but a pipe dream. Cour 2 is now being forced to make due with what it has and while they are doing a commendable job given the heavy restrictions, it is completely unreasonable to expect them to fit so much into such tight confines. It is the adaptation equivalent of being asked to fit everything into one grocery bag, but not wanting the bag to be heavy.
Could this cour have been scheduled better? Absolutely. Was it possible certain changes to the script or episode direction could have provided more opportunities to explore the cut content? Of course. Is it still a total bummer that the realities of production that have compromised the artistic integrity of our beloved peak fiction? Without a doubt.
We are simply going to have to get used to the fact that S1 may never be topped with our only hope being the return of the waifu-wars for S3 rekindles the beefs between animators vying for shot assignments (which may hopefully still be in the cards god willing).
Of course, I'm not a future seer, so maybe, just maybe, Studio Bind bursts into flames and all of the footage is lost resulting in the quality of the last 3 episodes to be the worst drop off of a television show since the final season of Game of Thrones. If that is the case then I'll be eating more crow than I ever have in my life. But if Studio Bind sticks the landing and delivers on the emotional climax to one of the most beloved arcs among the fanbase that we've anticipated for years, then please calm it down with these exaggerated "cutting content is ruining the show" claims.
Thank you from coming to my Ted Talk and enjoy the rest of the season everyone.
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2024.06.09 22:38 TempusCarpe The Confirmed Hoax Fallacy

The Confirmed Hoax Fallacy
The Confirmed Hoax Fallacy An Old Argument Raises Its Ignorant Head Yet Again TEMPORAL RECON JUN 8
I was recently invited to write an essay by someone who I respect greatly in their own personal search for truth. He asked that, while an update to Conviction of a Time Traveler is not necessarily in the offing, he did wonder if I might be amenable to a friendly reminder of the evidence provided in COATT nearly a decade ago now.
What spurred his request was that he had noticed recently that several people online had been echoing the ‘confirmed hoax’ trope when discussions would might around to the John Titor series of posts which occurred online back in 2000/2001.
His noticing of this false argument was nothing new; I had also noticed it crop up from time to time over the last 20 years. I hold the ‘confirmed hoax’ argument in special and particular disdain. Why?
Primarily because evidence exists and was provided in Conviction of a Time Traveler in 2009 that Titor was legitimate and, ironically enough, was read by many of the so-called experts espousing the ‘confirmed hoax’ lie. So when these fake experts tell you that the Titor story was a ‘confirmed hoax,’ they are lying to you.
Conviction of a Time Traveler provided new and original evidence that has never, to date, been debunked since its publication; a full 14 years. The evidence provided (which many of these lazy forum participants are aware of) pointed to one, inexorable and inescapable conclusion: Titor was legit. But this evidence, while never disproven, is always ignored. Why is that? We’ll put a pin in that

Pledge your support
Ironically, not only has the evidence documented in Conviction of a Time Traveler never been debunked, but it has also even been plagiarized by lazy authors who can’t be bothered to do original research or, lacking the intellectual horsepower necessary to do even that, fail to provide appropriate attribution to their source material.
So what of this, ‘Confirmed Hoax’ claim? Is it true? HAS the John Titor episode actually been ‘confirmed’ as a hoax?
When someone in a position of pretend authority declares from their cardboard pedestal that the John Titor story is a ‘Confirmed Hoax,’ have you ever noticed they never provide the person who did the confirming?
“Confirmed hoax?” ‘Confirmed’ by whom, pray tell?
When the term ‘Confirmed Hoax’ is used, what imagery comes to mind? I dare say it implies that some sort of shadowy group of learned scholars sat around a big wooden table, carefully assessed and addressed the claims. All the evidence and counter-arguments were carefully measured while hidden away in some stone castle somewhere until a white puff of smoke curls over its stone-tiled rooftops, declaring to the world once and for all,
“Our confirmation is complete. John Titor was a hoax!”
Bullshit.
Here’s the dirty little secret of the ‘Confirmed Hoax’ statements: they are actually shorthand for,
“I don’t have the intellectual capacity to argue in favor or against, so in order to come off like some sort of authority and maintain my fake position of authority, I’ll just take the safest position and simply declare that the Titor story is a hoax, that it was ‘confirmed’ and let’s please just move on to some other topic.”
‘Confirmed Hoax,’ is a coward’s gambit, a bet, that there won’t be anyone to come along to rock the boat and topple these posers off their flimsy stage of pretend authority.
This was the environment I walked into when I first published Conviction of a Time Traveler in 2010, and apparently, it hasn’t changed in 15 years.
When I first posted on Paranormalis (IIRC) announcing that I had written a book that documented the evidence in favor of Titor’s veracity, the then-reigning Titor authority (‘Darby’) haughtily pronounced, “Present your evidence and we’ll discuss it.”
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It was in that moment that I chose a path that nobody before me had ever embarked upon. I said, “No.”
Nobody had ever said ‘no’ before. There are pages and pages of forum posts by people before me who discovered some of the same bits and pieces that I discovered that pointed to Titor’s truth. And they were excited to show what they had discovered! And, owing to their excitement, and unfortunately, their naivete, they excitedly shared their evidence, wrongfully believing that the forums’ leadership was interested in getting to the bottom of the Titor episode.
Little did they suspect that ‘Darby’ and others were acting as gatekeepers of truth, whose sole purpose was to establish and maintain a lid on the narrative that was the John Titor episode. He, and his ilk gaslighted and bullied these poor naifs into silence by using their fake authority to debunk and explain away the very real evidence they had discovered.
That is, until COATT was published.
Unfortunately for these enemies of Truth, the internet is forever. In my research leading up to the publication of Conviction of a Time Traveler, I had the benefit of not only studying Titor’s posts, but also all the follow-on discussions after their departure.
I reviewed literally years of online forum content and, as I did so, I made a very curious observation: in all the years of discussion after Titor departed, not one piece of evidence ever (ever) caused ‘Darby’ or any of the other fake authorities to question their ‘it’s a hoax!’ position. They NEVER saw a piece of evidence that they didn’t dismiss, mock, ignore or explain away with contortions of logic that would make Wetzel’s Pretzels blush. This is in stark contrast to how someone who was truly in search of truth would act.
If ‘Darby’ and the others truly were curious, isn’t this a little odd? Really? Not ONE piece of evidence ever caused ‘Darby’ to pause and say, “hmm, that’s interesting
”
Not once, ever.
And there are years of forum posts to confirm this.
So, when Darby commanded from his perch of fake authority that I ‘present my evidence so that we might discuss it’ I laughed in his face [paraphrasing],
“No. A real discussion of the evidence hasn’t occurred here for years, and I do not recognize your so-called position as some sort of ‘expert’ on the Titor story. LITERALLY EVERYTHING there is to learn, or study, is published in the Titor posts for all to read. You hold no special knowledge, no special position, no special nothing. I do not submit to your fake authority. You want to learn about Titor, read the book.”
Or words to that effect, anyway

In the end, the evidence provided in COATT was so unassailable and the argument so solid that ‘Darby’ and his ilk suddenly became more and more quiet as they slowly realized I wasn’t going to wilt under their “authoritay.” Eventually, they slinked away with their rhetorical tails tucked.
But this was not the end of the story! Because ‘time travel’ had become quite the pet interest of mine (owing to the further evidence I discovered after publication), that I continued to post online in various discussion forums. I even wrote numerous essays on a variety of topics, all spurred on by the ‘time travel’ question and all its implications.
Fast Forward Fast forwarding to today, we’re back at the ‘confirmed hoax’ argument again. What was once offered up (“HOAX!”) by Darby and others, is now cold soup served by the latest crop of fake authorities. And what happens when fake authority utters the ‘Confirmed Hoax’ discussion-brake? The same thing that happened a decade ago: the earnest neophyte shrugs their shoulders secure in the false belief that others smarter than they have studied the topic and arrived at some irrefutable conclusion; no further discussion necessary (or allowed). They have no idea just how close they came to uncovering something truly fantastic, had they only relied on their own judgment instead of the know-nothing proclamations of others.
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Which brings me to why I wrote COATT in the first place. Instead of simply doing my research and arriving at my own (private) conclusion, I realized that too many people were believing fake authority and ignoring Titor’s warnings about our future. Once I realized that Titor was legitimate (caveated, of course), how could I NOT share my findings? The stakes were simply too high.
IF what Titor said were true 24 years ago, that the world was heading for an upending change in the status quo, and that many people would die as a result of it, how could I remain silent and not inform others that his warnings were something to be listened to? Perhaps people with ears to hear might take heed and make the appropriate preparations. I know I did.
But, as my friend has informed me, it appears that the fake experts have reared their ugly and useless heads once again telling us that there is ‘nothing to the Titor story’ and that it is a “confirmed hoax.”
THIS was the reason that I was recently asked to provide my evidence once again. And THIS is the reason this essay is dragging on. These pretenders to authority are like roaches; as soon as the exterminator leaves, they come out of the woodwork intent on dismantling the Truth once again. God’s work never ends, it seems, even with a 99% success rate

So, now that we’ve got all THAT out of the way, and as a sort of transition, I’d like to bring you up to speed on what I’ve been up to since I published Conviction of a Time Traveler in 2010.
To be perfectly frank, after COATT’s publication, I thought I was done with the Titor story; I had said my piece and was perfectly willing to move on with my life and prepare for the event that causes the change in the status quo. But the annoying fact was that the Titor story itself didn’t end with the cessation of Titor’s posts in 2001.
As new evidence appeared in the months and years following publication, like dog shit on my shoe that I can’t scrape off, I could never cleanly cleave myself from the Titor story. Not that I wanted to, mind you, it is a fascinating topic, regardless of your opinion.
But what surprised me the most was that new evidence continued to appear, year after year. And, as more evidence appeared, my curiosity was consistently kept piqued and on alert. Trust me, it is exhausting.
To give you a sense of what I discovered, I can tell you that your experts are wrong and that ‘time travel’ is neither novel nor unusual; we are very literally awash in ‘time travelers.’ My research suggests that ‘time machines’ have been present in our past going as far back as 850AD. But I digress.
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Suffice it to say that the Titor rabbit hole is but one example of a massively large group of programs from an unknown number of organizations from across time. The ‘time travel’ question runs much deeper (and much farther back in time) and crosses over into more (so-called) esoteric topics than anyone gives it credit for. As I said, it’s exhausting.
My whole point here is that, even after I published in 2009, my curiosity in the topic (and its implications of yet larger vistas) did not wane. And, because of this continued and unabating curiosity, I discovered yet more evidence, crafted more theories and came to more conclusions.
A philosopher once described the acquisition of new information as an ever-expanding circle surrounding the man; a horizon where known and unknown meet where new answers only beget new questions which push the circle farther and farther out. This has been my experience over the last 15 years re the Titor narrative and the larger ‘time travel’ question. How could it be otherwise?
Unfortunately for you, you are being convinced by fools that the Titor episode is a ‘Confirmed Hoax.’ You haven’t even made the leap to the possibility that ‘time travel’ is even possible. How can you explore the implications of ‘time travel’ when you can’t even consider its reality, a fundamental starting point? I have a very strong (ehem) conviction that our collective naĂŻvetĂ© on the subject will be violently revoked in the very near ‘future.’
The Two Camps, The Two Mistakes During my research, I observed that within the Titor commentariat there are two basic camps: the Debunkers and the True Believers.
The Debunking camp will provide any contortion of logic to maintain the ‘Titor was a hoax’ narrative.
The True Believers, on the other hand, will believe any contortion of logic that maintains their belief in The Gospel of John.
What if I told you both camps were wrong?
Now, the debunking camp will tell you that Titor must be a hoax because his predictions didn’t come true. Oh, well
his predictions didn’t come true? I guess we’re done then? Obviously, his whole purpose for posting was to make predictions like some Magic Eight Ball, right? And if those don’t pan out, well, ‘CONFIRMED HOAX!’
Get the Book
On the other side of that coin, the True Believers out there, who never saw a confirmation bias they didn’t love, will tell you that Titor’s predictions didn’t come true because he changed the future. This of course is a recipe for explaining away literally any detracting evidence thus making Titor true no matter any evidence to the contrary.
Let’s take the True Believers first:
The concept of Divergence, while a handy explanation, does not/cannot explain all differences in histories away. In fact, were what Titor said was true (remember, we are True Believers for the moment and are taking Titor’s words as gospel) he absolutely must take measures to minimize divergence as much as possible and NOT allow it to span wildly. Otherwise, the entire power of the ‘time machine’ is rendered moot. I accept that Divergence is likely a real measurement necessary for the efficient execution of ‘time travel’ missions, but it should, by no means, be the magic skeleton key to explain away every question.
In fact, while divergence is very likely a real ‘thing’ or artifact or measurement of difference between world lines, the Truth is that divergence must absolutely be kept to a minimum to make any practical use of the gravity engine sitting in the back seat of your old blue Geo Metro.
So, no. Divergence cannot be the handy tool we need to contort ourselves into believing, as much as we might like to.
Now for the debunkers:
The debunkers have a variety of options available to them to argue that Titor was a ‘confirmed hoax.’ Regardless, these arguments typically boil down to two primary classes:
He has special training or knowledge, and/or
He’s just a lucky guesser.
Unfortunately for the debunkers (and those who listen to them), these explanations make a very serious error: that predictions are a relevant metric to judge Titor’s truth at all. They are not.
Serious question: Why should a ‘time traveler’ be subject to the same metrics that a psychic is to determine if his claims of ‘time travel’ are true?
The point here is that you can’t compare a horse to a whale and complain that the horse can’t swim. They are two completely different animals, and the same goes for ‘time travelers’ and psychics or tarot readers or any other domain whose reputation is dependent on the true-ness of the information they provide. Comparing Titor’s predictions to actual, experienced history is also an imperfect and inappropriate metric if one is to objectively assess Titor from a blank slate starting point. This points to a much deeper insight into the true purpose of the Titor posts, but that’s for a different day.
So, because of both these problems, any real researcher worth their salt would have to find some other way to determine the truth/falsity of the Titor narrative.
Remember, when first approaching the Titor question as an objective investigator, Titor is both equally a hoax and legitimate. Imagine Schrodinger’s cat meets Columbo

I’ll give you this observation for free, just to get your juices flowing:
Did you notice that absolutely none of John’s predictions (event + date) came true, but all his statements concerning conditions about our future did?
Don’t you find this interesting? Or hadn’t you noticed, too blinded by the bright and shiny, attention-grabbing predictions of nuclear war?
But I am getting ahead of myself; we still haven’t provided the evidence that it’s simply more likely that Titor was an actual time traveler than some ‘hoaxer genius.’ And so we finally get to the whole point of this essay in the first place, a reminder and summary of the evidence first provided in Conviction of a Time Traveler all the way back in those halcyon days of 2010:
  1. Wireless Internet: Titor correctly predicted the advent of wireless internet when we were still using dial-up modems and America Online. Cable internet connections had only just been introduced.
“My closest friend raises horses and another works for a company that maintains “wireless” Internet nodes.”
– J. Titor, Nov 7, 2000
  1. YouTube becoming like ‘live theatre’: Titor correctly predicted the social evolution of YouTube and the decentralization of entertainment away from Hollywood evolving from short videos of grannies and cute kittens on Youtube to a sort of “live theatre” where actual shows would be presented by literally anyone, online, in a world that hadn’t even seen streaming services or video sharing services such as Rumble, etc.
“Yes, there is an entertainment industry. Again, it is very decentralized. The technology to express yourself with video is so readily available that many people do it all by themselves or in small groups. Much of the distribution is over the web. I would compare it theater here.”
-J. Titor
  1. IBM 5100 special capabilities: The statement that kicked everything off. Titor correctly identified the secret capabilities of the very first desktop computer manufactured by IBM in the 1970’s. These capabilities were utterly unknown and unacknowledged until Titor’s appearance in 2000. Interestingly, using this information, I was able to determine the most likely candidate of Titor’s grandfather which, upon this identification, also explained why Titor had to go all the way back to 1975 to pick up a copy of the 5100 and not 1985, 1995, or ‘elsewhen.’
“I was “sent” to get an IBM computer system called the 5100. It was one the first portable computers made and it has the ability to read the older IBM programming languages in addition to APL and Basic.”
– J. Titor, Nov 15, 2000
  1. VOIP: Titor correctly predicted the development of phone calls being run across the internet, again, in a time where downloading a picture over dial-up took minutes.
“Many people use the Internet for communication and entertainment. I would say that affects our speech. We type very fast.”
– J. Titor, Feb 15, 2001
  1. Soldier’s Winter Poem: Titor correctly predicted the poem, by name, “A Soldier’s Winter” and its topic. There is more to this particular prediction and statement about “A Soldier’s Winter“ than meets the eye, however.
“A Soldier’s Winter.”
-J. Titor, Feb 21, 2001
  1. Second gulf war: Titor correctly predicted a second incursion into Iraq by allied forces. There is also more to this statement by Titor as well. But that’s a little advanced for right now.
“Are you really surprised to find out that Iraq has nukes now or is that just BS to whip everyone up into accepting the next war?”
-J. Titor, Feb 25, 2001
  1. WMD and ‘hype’: Titor correctly predicted that the WMD story was hype and not to be believed (also, there is more to this statement than is visible on the surface). This statement’s purpose is closely related to statements #6 and #9.
“Are you really surprised to find out that Iraq has nukes now or is that just BS to whip everyone up into accepting the next war?”
-J. Titor, Feb 25, 2001
  1. Optical Measurement for atomic clock: A biggie. Titor correctly predicted the development of a new sort of atomic clock and the reasons why it was an improvement over the then-current ‘radio’ method of atomic measurement (more precise).
Specifically, atomic clocks determine the length of a second by measuring the frequency of a particular atom. Cesium, Rhodium, etc. Measuring this frequency is done using something called the “radio method” which makes use of a gas and hitting that gas and atom with a microwave (the ‘radio’ part of the measurement). However, Titor claimed that a new ‘time machine’ had been developed that makes use of an optical means of measuring the atom’s frequency, an improvement. The Optical Frequency Comb was developed after Titor’s departure which enabled the measurement of an atom’s frequency optically, and which also allowed for greater precision in that measurement. Titor’s statement is a 3-fer:
He predicts an optical measurement system for atomic clocks.
He predicts the new system measures oscillation and not some other aspect.
He predicts this new system increases measurement precision and not some other aspect.
“The C206 uses 6 cesium clocks but they use an optical system to check the oscillation frequency. This makes the worldline divergence confidence much higher.”
– J. Titor, Nov 7, 2000
  1. Ginger: The most enigmatic piece of evidence and what originally spurred me to look closer at this ‘confirmed hoax’ in 2010. In the very opening of Titor’s posts in 2000, someone asked three questions to allow Titor to ‘prove’ he was legitimate. Those questions were:
“1. What was the final death count in the recent India earthquake?
  1. What is the "Ginger" (IT) invention?
  2. Who wins the Stanley Cup (Hockey) this year?”
  • M. Kolesnik, Jan 29, 2001
As you see, questions 1 and 3 are of the magic eight ball variety and are wholly inappropriate to assess Titor’s truthfulness. But we’ll extend some grace to Mr. Kolesnik as it was so early on in their discourse. And Titor demurred on answering these two questions anyway. He refused to answer the first question because he claimed he simply didn’t know. And he refused to answer the third question because he felt it to be unfair for someone to earn money using his information (pointing to a larger context of rules by which they operate).
But, the middle question, ‘
what is Ginger
’ did not violate either of those two questions so he acquiesced and answered it. He answered by saying,
“It looks like a sort of motorized scooter. What do you think IT is?”
– J. Titor, Jan 29, 2001
This answer immediately got my attention because, in 2000 when the question was asked, the answer was truly unknown, thus Mr. Kolesnik’s question. However, in 2009 when I was first looking into the Titor narrative, I knew what Ginger was because I remembered it. Hindsight truly was 20/20.
As a bit of background, during 1999 (the exact timing escapes me), a ‘viral’ marketing campaign was underway by an inventor named Dean Kamen. While never revealing what this new product was, the billboards merely asked,
“What is IT?”
or
“What is Ginger?”
That was all they said. It is obvious now, and was obvious even then, that Kamen was attempting to create a buzz for his new invention. Fair enough. It also explains why it was asked of Titor in 2000. Kamen’s ad campaign was working! People were truly wondering.
Now understand, the hype (and I use that term specifically) surrounding the Ginger ad campaign was fairly strong. Kamen predicted that his invention would reinvent how people moved about cities; it would cause their utter redesign and how they were laid out and organized. Big claims, to be sure. So strong in fact that Kamen was able to land a spot on Good Morning America where he finally revealed what his invention was.
In December of 2001, and live on the air, Kamen, with Katie Couric, revealed Ginger to the world. Ginger was none other than the Segway.
And what did Titor say it was?
“A type of motorized scooter”
And Stella says there’s nothing more to learn

Get the Book
Titor’s absolute spot-on declaration of what Kamen’s invention was nearly a year before it was unveiled hit me right between the eyes. Eight years later, I already knew that Ginger was the Segway because I remembered the event.
Here was a maniac on the internet claiming to be a ‘time traveler’ and he correctly ‘guessed’ what Ginger was a mere 2 Âœ hours after it was asked and 11 months before it was officially unveiled?
It was Titor’s statement here that caused me to look deeper (much deeper, in fact) into the Titor narrative and, after exhaustive research and extensive supporting evidence, I concluded that Titor was in fact, legitimate.
Now here’s the truly interesting part of this piece of the Titor saga: you can’t find this statement about Ginger online anywhere anymore. It has been scrubbed from online sources everywhere.
Now, when I first discovered the Titor story, I saw that there appeared to be a couple different versions of the posts and I just, by chance, found a version of the posts with the Ginger reference in it. I saw that some versions had the Ginger reference, and some did not. At the time, I did not know how to understand this. But I do now.
Revisiting Old Theories As I mentioned before, hindsight is 20/20, and that is especially true when discussing ‘time travel’ and ‘time travelers.’ So, it seems oddly appropriate to provide a few examples of updated information that only revealed themselves with the fullness of time after publication.
‘leader’ In Conviction of a Time Traveler, I found the following quote especially interesting:
“The President or “leader” in 2005 I believe tried desperately to be the next Lincoln and hold the country together but many of their policies drove a larger wedge into the Bill of Rights. The President in 2009 was interested only in keeping his/her power base.”
  • J. Titor, Feb 19, 2001
And it wasn’t necessarily the full content of Titor’s statement here, it was those damn quotes around the word ‘leader.’ Why would he put quotes around a word so simple in its definition? In COATT, I surmised that Titor was referring to Obama at the time for a variety of reasons. Namely the very high coincidence factor between facts surrounding Obama and Lincoln. My own belief also was that Titor would not consider Obama as the rightful leader of the United States due to the known problems with his birth certificate, thus making him ineligible for the Presidency. Thus, Titor wrote ‘leader’ with those quotes around it indicating his misgivings.
Of course, here we are 24 years after Titor’s statement and 12 years after I wrote COATT, and I have now come to a different conclusion about the quotation marks around the word ‘leader’. I now surmise that Titor was referring to Biden and not Obama when he wrote that. Because I personally didn’t have a ‘time machine’ at the time, I never could have expected the dementia patient currently ‘in’ the White House and supposedly ‘leading’ the country. For anyone watching, it is patently obvious that Mr. Biden isn’t ‘leading’ anything. So, in the context of this and our current national situation, those quotation marks sure make a hell of a lot more sense now, don’t you think? This reassessment obviously puts a giant bullseye on the 2024-2025 time period for what Titor commented upon in 2000.
So, yes. I have reassessed this particular conclusion since publishing Conviction of a Time Traveler due to the slow passage of time and its equally slow revelation of Truth.
Gates Another interesting comment by Titor had to do with Bill Gates. Recall that in 2000/2001, Bill Gates was ‘merely’ the CEO of Microsoft. He was among the richest men in the world and many news stories of the time commented upon this fact. Almost kind of like Elon Musk’s notoriety in both scope and scale. So, as such, a forum participant named ‘Joe’ asked Titor for any information regarding Bill Gates’ future. Titor’s response?
“This I do know but I won’t discuss.”
-J. Titor, Feb 23, 2001
An interesting, if not completely unhelpful, answer. Wouldn’t you say?
Considering we now know how Gates has morphed from Tech Titan selling mediocre products to Farmland baron, GMO mosquito breeder and mRNA advocate and (alleged) mass murderer in India and elsewhere in the third world, Titor’s statement that he does know about Gates’ future rings true.
In fact, what was also a bit interesting was when someone later pressed him on any information regarding Gates’ future. To which he responded,
Just curious, why is he of such interest?
-J Titor, Mar 5, 2001
Considering what we know now about Gates and his predilections (his ‘wife’ deserted him upon revelation of his visits to Epstein Island), I’m willing to bet that John was naturally curious as to why Gates, of all people, was of such interest to the forum participants that they would ask twice about him. Coincidence? Or did Titor suspect a mole from a different program in the forum? Who knows. His curiosity about their curiosity in Gates is interesting, nothing more.
Conclusion And there you have (some of) it. A summary of some of the evidence documented in Conviction of a Time Traveler written nearly 15 years ago. The evidence contained in that small book has never been debunked or disproven. It has been plagiarized by some and ignored by others. If you were unaware of COATT and are a regular participant in the online discussions about ‘time travel,’ you should ask yourself why the ‘leadership’ on those forums never mention COATT. Curious, don’t you think?
The reason I wrote COATT in the first place was because, after I had done my own research to satiate my own personal curiosity, I realized that some people online were downplaying his posts’ importance in the hopes that they could dissuade people from believing in Titor and the possibility of ‘time travel.’
I saw this dishonesty and decided to fight back against it by merely providing the information I discovered. From my point of view, Titor was warning us about a very severe time in our future that would upend the status quo and was to be a highly dangerous one.
Taken at face value (always a good starting point), Titor’s warnings merited being taken seriously. Had the naysayer’s deceit been left unanswered, how many of you would have failed to prepare for what is just around the corner? You have prepared, haven’t you?
And yes, as is readily obvious to many, those hard times are right around the corner. Looking at Titor’s statements 24 years later and simply looking around at the state of America and the world, do his statements seem so outlandish now?
John’s ‘final’ words to the forum in March of 2001 ring eerily prescient now:
Bring a gas can with you when the car dies on the side of the road.
-J. Titor, Mar 23, 2001
It is my sincerest hope that my small book project (and the essays that followed) spurred you to think twice about the world we live in and take the necessary actions you feel you should to keep you and your family safe for the world’s awakening and rebirth.
As Ever,
Temporal Recon Share
As Ever
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