Hey Guys, looking for help in validating my potential set up. I am very new to this so I tried to note all my thoughts. If I didn't explicitly state it, I probably am unaware.
Scenario: LED Up lighting on ground to shine up onto wall. Can place controller anywhere. Open to multiple controllers.
Length: This is for my wedding and the venue is not yet selected (so I actually am not positive I will be allowed to do this yet but I want to plan). Let’s say 15 meters.
Wants:

• Safety. I don’t know much about electrical engineering
• Addressable RGB (maybe RGBW)
• Diffusion with no hot spots
• Bright enough to really color the walls. So I’m thinking plan for at or near 100%
• Quick to put together after prep has been done. As in I can test it at home, break it down, transport it to the venue, and set it back up easily. I’ll need to measure to be certain but internet specs say my SUV’s cargo area is 1.8 meters long. Though by doing diagonals I might be able to squeeze a bit more space out of it.
• Sound reactive

Other Thoughts:

• Thinking about what I’ll use this for after. Maybe accent lighting around a room? Might be nice to have actual whites.
• Scenario 3 Ultra Mode very closely resembles what I'm describing. https://youtu.be/Umo6jKLfwsQ?t=3408

What I currently think I need to buy:

• LED Strip
  • With this length, 24 Volt seems to be the way to go
  • Sounds like the COB is the brightest https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmIcTIAlI74&t=400s
  • Waterproof isn't required
  • Depending on if I want to include whites or not
    • 24v addressable COB “720LEDs/m” RGB
    • 24v addressable COB “768LEDs/m” RGBW
    • I don’t think I really need white for this but might be nice for future use
  • White vs Black PCB
    • Since it's hidden shouldn't matter right? Maybe white would make it slightly brighter? I suspect that to be negligible.
• Controller
  • I do not want to DIY the controller
  • Dig-Uno
    • Probably not
  • Dig-Quad
    • I think this would work
  • Dig-Octa and up
    • Seems overkill and starting to seem even more complex.
  • AE+
    • This would add sound reactive
    • The touch button might be nice as at the venue I don’t know what the wifi will be like and could reduce size by not including the antenna
    • IR would be nice for same reason as touch button
    • I don’t think I need the SD card
    • I don’t understand what the 3x LED channel is so not sure if I want “Full” or “IR + MIC”
• Aluminum Profile Housing
  • 45 Degree so its angled
  • Maybe I can get something 3D printed as as stand for it so It can be raised to the height of the what’s covering it on the ground (I’m imagining the venue already has something there as the venue where I got the idea did already have something)
  • Not sure on Milky vs Clear cover
    • I think Milly might look better as it would hide the LED strip
    • I could probably buy a small pack of each and test it out. I assume it’ll be personal preference?
  • The one linked from Quin comes in 50cm sections
    • https://quinled.info/2019/01/17/importance-of-led-cooling/
    • I think I could premake this in 5m sections so that would be 10 pieces a section. This would not fit in my car but if at the very ends I don’t peel the last 3cm off from the adhesive, I could maybe leave the cover off and fold it, allowing the led strip to curve and not bend sharply
    • I would then use connectors, listed in a later section. This would be to connect the 3x 5m sections together
• Connectors
  • Could I use some sort of quick connectors to make disassembly and reassembly easier?
    • I didn’t see any on https://quinled.info/2018/10/01/tools-and-equipment/#connector-blocks
    • Was thinking something like
    • Would this make a hotspot?
• Power Supply
  • If I really want it to be capable of full brightness I’d need
    • Source
    • COB-RGB
    • COB-RGBW
    • Mean Well UHP-500 series
    • Could go with Mean Well LRS-350 if going RGBW
  • What do I do for an enclosure? I don’t like it being so exposed for both safety reasons and it looks rather unprofessional.
    • Concerned about what if there is a snag on the cable? I wouldn’t want bare wires connected to an outlet to just be laying around.
    • I’ve found this which helps some as it looks much safer to me but isnt for UHP-500 https://openbuildspartstore.com/powercase-kit/
    • Also saw many 3d printed options as well but is that safe?
• Cables
  • Data cables
    • Not sure what AWG. Since it's so short, I assume 20AWG?
  • Power injection
    • Discussed in Power Injection section but thinking 20AWG since its so short.
• Power Injection
  • There are two sections if placed in the middle but not exact middle as to remove the need to cut the 5m strips (it is sold in 5m strings if bought 5m right? It's not 5x 1m strips?).
    • COB-RGB
    • COB-RGBW
  • After doing the math here, maybe just inject at one end. Seems a whole lot simpler to do. Maybe someone on here sees a fault in that, that I do not see.

So partner and I just put a (refundable) down payment on a Sienna XSE today after about a month of searching and stumbling into one that was ghosted at a dealership an hour away.
Honestly, the MSRP was spot-on (49k with a pre-installed plus package), but we had some hesitations on how the dealer handled add-ons. The buyer who abandoned it had "bought" a ceramic paint coating, undercarriage rust protection, and some additional Polyurethane nonsense that ended up adding an additional $5k to the car's total, meaning we were looking at close to $55k before taxes.
I was able to get them to "realize" one of the coatings hadn't been put on (since the car itself had pollen on it and they would've cleaned it first), which knocked $1.4k off, but should I be concerned? I'm still essentially paying a $3k up-charge on the XSE for nonsense.
Some context is I haven't bought a new car in a long time and I'm not privy to some of the latest nonsense dealerships get up to nowadays. I just want to make sure that we're not getting taken for a ride...

Like the title says. If there’s something that happened during or after the relationship that bit them in the ass later, or something that just but them in the ass in general, I wanna know what happened!
And for anyone that can’t say theirs did, don’t worry. It’s coming. Or it happened and you don’t know.
I’m a firm believer that bad people set themselves up to fail. Whether it’s from messing with the wrong person or putting out so much negativity energy/ intentions that it attracts more to them.
I’ll start with one, feel free to add as many as you like.
He stole $480 from me and then another $200. Whenever I’d bring up paying me back he’d just yell at me, call me selfish/ stingy, and just generally make me feel awful. Eventually he moved in with me and my parents (his kicked him out) and my mom would charge him $200 for rent each month. She’d put this in a savings account for him to use to get his own place. One day though, one of his abusive episodes got so bad that he left my house in a police car. I told my mom about what he did and she sent me all the money he owed me back.

Hey there, my name is Nick, Nicholas, or Nicho.[NA-US east] Im a pc gamer right now, i originally started on xbox, but my xbox One broke. I like anime, drawing, youtube, oh and cars. Im looking for people who are willing to be silly.
I dont care about gender or anything like that.
If you watch anyone like Markipler, the Goons, the Misfits, GameTheroy, we should get along. Of course, i watch others, but we can talk more in private. I do have discord, so I could definitely add you on there, and I play a lot of games on Steam. Right now, because of my pc, I play a lot of TF2 and Minecraf since the pc i have isn't the greatest. But honestly, I'm just looking for silly people. I like to call because i think it helps me express myself better, but if that's not your style, that's ok too! Thanks for reading.

Ok so I have had my PT Cruiser for a while it's not in the GREATEST shape but it runs and drives well. But it's time to improve it here is my list of what I want to do to this beautiful machine lmk if I should add anything or any suggestions on cheap ways to get it done.

• new serpentine belt (when it cracks cold it squeals so I assume it's gone bad)
• add an aftermarket exhaust
• new wheels (any suggestions? It's electric blue)
• new front and rear bumpers
• New taillights
• check the car for any possible problems and fix them

I will keep this updated with what I get done to it and in what order I get everything done

I’ve been doing car photography for 2 years now in my city. I’m becoming known in the car community here. I do quality work and want to keep improving. This car show is gonna be a big stepping stone for me and I want some suggestions to get my work seen more than others. I try to get photos that other photographers don’t think about and I try to capture unique angles/moments. Any suggestions to special effects I can add to photos would be great as I don’t see any of that with the competing photographers here.

I'm looking to add some bluetooth and android auto functionality to my car and I really like how this integrates with the dash. It's supposed to be plug and play with the factory harness, allowing me to use my steering wheel controls.

DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS. I am NOT OP. Original post by u/God_Dammit_MoonMoon in treelaw
trigger warnings: Tree Destruction
mood spoilers: Mild Confusion
 
(Virginia) Neighbor is on video ripping my eastern redbud sapling out of the ground - 2024-05-05
TLDR -- (location: VA) neighbor came onto my property -- I have her on video coming from her yard and carrying yard debris, looking around as she goes, walking up to one of my redbud saplings, ripping it out of the ground and breaking it in half a couple of times as she walked back to her property. The tree is very clearly on my property. She was (very clearly) looking to see if anyone was around before she did it. What is "standard procedure" here? How do I get her to replace at least the one tree I have her on video destroying? I'd ask how to not make this living situation awkward, but we're way past that at this point.
Long Version:
I live in Virginia in a neighborhood without an HOA. I bought my house a couple of years ago and there were zero large trees in the yard.
All of my neighbors have very landscaped yards. My house needed renovation, so I haven't done much in the yard other than plant some trees so they had time to get established. In the 2 years I've lived here, I've planted 7 trees in the front yard.
4 of the trees I have planted have been eastern redbud saplings on either side of my driveway. The first pair died over the first winter I was here and then I planted the second pair this past fall.
The most recent pair survived. One was absolutely thriving and the other was struggling but had growth. Between the trees and my neighbors property is my mailbox and the trees have mulch rings.
I say these things because it's not like there's a question of whose property the trees were on or did they look dead (and did the neighbor think they were doing me a favor by removing yard debris).
Three weeks ago, I went out to check the mail and the one closest to my neighbors yard was missing. There wasn't a sapling laying on the ground so it wasn't like an animal chewed it at the base and it fell over. The entire thing was gone but the mulch wasn't disturbed. I even dug into the mulch to try to find the root ball because it was so weird. No root ball.
My partner and I couldn't remember the last time we had seen it and we had friends in town helping with the renovation so it went out of our mind as a weird thing. Partner was convinced it was an animal. I was convinced someone stole my tree.
Tonight, I went out to take the garbage to the road and -- lo and behold -- the 2nd redbud is missing.
I look around for it -- in case it's on the ground and it's not there. Mulch isn't disturbed. Exact same situation as the other one. So I dig down to try to find the root ball and there isn't one. it's only 4ft tall, so not like there'd be a big one to begin with.
I call my partner and let them know. They've been out of town but mention when they left Wednesday morning, they remember checking on the tree. So I go to the video footage.
It was there the morning of the 1st and the morning of the 2nd. The morning of the 3rd....hard to tell. It might be there. It might not. I go through more video from friday and confirm the tree is not there.
So I go back to the 2nd and I start going through the video and around 7pm, I get my answer -- I see my neighbor walk onto my property, carrying yard debris from her yard. She's looking around, and then walks up to the tree, rips it out of the ground, and walks back off to her property snapping the tree in half a couple of times as she goes. If I had to guess, she was carrying the yard debris as a cover "oh I thought it was yard debris and I was just trying to help".
I went back to check to see if I have her on video doing the same thing to the first tree, but the video doesn't go back that far unless you specifically save the video (which I didn't think to do). If I were a gambler, I'd put money on the fact that she did the same thing to the first tree.
I know tree law in VA states that if the trees are on your side you can trim them as long as you don't do it to a point where you kill them, but these trees were very much on my property. The one that she killed recently, it was literally the tree, my driveway, a small stretch of yard (where the 1st tree was that went missing) , my mailbox, and then the neighbors yard.
What is standard procedure here on addressing this with a neighbor? I don't want to get police involved for destruction of property but at the same time, who comes onto someones property and rips their trees out of the ground?
Unrelated -- my relationship with this neighbor has always been wonderful. Like I bake them pies and the give me things from their garden. We bring in packages for each other when fedex inevitably delivers them to the wrong house. There was a windstorm in March that blew a tree from their neighbors yard (two houses down from me) into their yard and I went out with my chainsaw to help cut it up so it didn't just sit.
*quick update\*
So this has gathered far more comments than I expected but I figured there were a couple of things that needed to be addressed.
First -- the video. The video is safe. I have a copy on my phone, personal laptop, work laptop, and have sent it to many, many friends because it's such a batshit situation. We have copies should I need to use it.
Second, tree proximity to property line -- because I was curious, I went out with my handy dandy tape measure to check to see how far the trees were planted from the line. The first tree that was yoinked 3 weeks ago was 6ft from the property line. The second tree that was pulled a few days ago was 22 feet 3 inches from the property line. The only one arguably "close" to the property line was the first one (6ft from the line) and honestly, if she had come to me with a concern about it, I probably would have agreed to move it in the fall when it went dormant and it was safe to do so. Instead she chose tree violence.
Third, "the plan". Because my partner travels a lot, we both own our houses (so neither of us are going anywhere), and because I want to make sure she doesn't retaliate against the other 9 baby trees in my backyard (that's fenced in) or my dog, I've decided to take u/kemperflow 's advice to an extent. Basically I'm going to tell them someone vandalized and stole property out of my yard and that I'm going to be going through the video from one of the cameras in the next couple of days and this camera points at the area of the trees. I'm going to ask them if they've had anyone vandalize or steal their property in the last week or so. Basically giving them the opportunity to fess up and give me whatever lie they come up with on the spot as to why she destroyed the trees. If she owns up to it, I'll ask her to buy me new trees to make it right and then tell her she should not come onto my property and do something like this again without my permission. If she doesn't, in a few days I'll go back with the video and give her another opportunity to make it right. At that point if she still doesn't, then I'll report her for theft and destruction of property and have her trespassed. Because we're not going anywhere anytime soon, I don't want to go completely nuclear in the first round. Hopefully it doesn't get to last bit.
Fourth, she is an avid gardener. She has trees lining the back of her property, trees on the property line she shares with me (close to where the redbud massacre of 2024 occurred), a vegetable garden, so many rose and phlox bushes I've lost count and recently added some new low shrubs near the trees on the back of her property. Her yard is very curated with many shrubs, trees, and flowers -- both deciduous and evergreen. While I could be wrong, I don't think her removing the trees had to do with her being concerned about their leaves. If she were, she'd probably take down one of the two 60 yr old maple trees in her backyard.
 
Update: (Virginia) Neighbor is on video ripping my eastern redbud sapling out of the ground - 2024-05-07
Okay, so this will *hopefully* be the final update and there won't be any need to get motion activated sprinklers involved. I'm not ruling them out if this ends up escalating after this post.
Today I worked from my closet because it has a window that just so happens to overlook my neighbors garden and her car was in her driveway so I knew she was home.
Around 1pm she made an appearance so I went out to "check the mail". I waved to her with a big smile and said hello. She said hello and we exchanged minor pleasantries. And then I segued into asking
"Oh hey, have you guys noticed if you've had anything stolen or vandalized in your yard?"
"Oh no. not at all."
"I'm glad to hear it. I've had two trees taken from my yard over the last 3 weeks."
"What do you mean taken from your yard?"
"Well the two redbuds I had at the end of the driveway -- they were saplings and one was by the mail box and the other was by the lamp post. The first disappeared about 3 weeks ago and the second one disappeared sometime after Wednesday last week."
"No, we haven't had anything like that happen."
"That's great. Yeah, I don't know what happened. I'm going to check one of the cameras I have on the property in the next couple of days. It's pointed at the driveway, so it gets clear views of the trees and we'll be able to see what happened. Hopefully it's just animals or something because if someone came onto my property and stole them, I'm going to have to get the police involved for theft."
If I didn't have her attention before, I definitely had it at the last bit because she started asking more clarifying questions about these missing trees -- What kind of trees did you say? And where were they? How big were they?
I answer all of her questions and add on that it sucks because I bought these trees and they had been planted since fall but "Yeah, I guess we will find out what happened in a few days when I have an opportunity to check the video." And that's about the time she says "Oh, That might've been me. I think I thought they were weeds." (For the record — no I do not believe she mistook two 4ft saplings for weeds.)
I let her know that if that's the case, I would like her to replace them. To which she replies that she's not sure but it might've been.
I reassured her that it's okay if she doesn't know. We can wait to resolve this until I view the video because I absolutely do not want her to pay for replacements if she's not responsible.
Y'all. She absolutely did not want me to go to the video.
She asked me what kind of trees again and I told her. She said that if I told her how much they were, she’d pay me back.
And I said “are you sure you don’t want to wait to check the video?”
“No no. I’ll take care of it. Just let me know.”
I pulled my phone up and found comparable redbuds online and we calculated the total that she would owe together. She went inside and gave me cash to get replacements for the redbuds. We stood and chatted for a couple more minutes but I did reiterate that she needed to talk with me before doing something like this in the future and if she see's some weeds that she thinks needs to be pulled on my property to let me know because it isn't fair or right for her to bear the burden of weeding my yard.
And so concludes The Redbud Murder Saga. (I hope)
 
Reminder - I am not the original poster. DO NOT COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS.

I'm trying to make the best financial decision I can, and need some help in the process. I've had my mind on a Model 3 for a while now, I took a test drive and liked what I saw. Here's the thing though. I have a 2022 Corolla Cross LE with about 11,000 miles. No accidents, pretty much brand new. I put my VIN in the trade-in website for Tesla and they're giving me $22,000 (Yes, I am aware the prices are not final but just bear with me) I currently owe to the bank $26,000 for the loan on the Corolla. Which would set me back $4000. It all comes down to liking the car more than I like mine and ending up paying less money per month (my current payments are $589, which is in my opinion way too much for what my car has to offer.) So, my question is, what's my move? Any advice is appreciated, and I'd like to apologize if any questions sound ignorant.
I would also like to add that having a Model 3 would fit my needs for the places I regularly go to such as work and other endeavors.

i tried texting my mom about this n she didnt reply, i just want to know if im overreacting. this is gonna be long, sorry😭
what happened was i stopped by my grandparents house to pick up some of my clothes in a tote i had left there a while ago. they are being evicted, they lived in a trailer park, they are hoarders. its all around a bad situation but that wasn’t really whats bothering me.
when i pulled up, the property manager was going through things and throwing things in the dumpster and the tote wasnt there. when i asked him, he said he had kept some of the items n the rest were in the dumpster. he said a lot of words, he hung on my car and went on and on about how hard my grandparents eviction has been on him. i had to go through the dumpster and get the stuff that i could find, they were some very personally valuable things. this isnt even the situation.
i could tell this property manager was enjoying talking to me when he starting rambling about how his gf hasnt been putting out for him. im very much a people pleaser, i am incredibly friendly, and although i was verbally expressing my discomfort, i had a smile on my face while doing so. i had to drive down a few lots to his trailer to get my clothes that he had rummaged through and kept, so i kinda just put up with him until i could get those.
Tell me why and how this man kept me in his presence for over an hour?? brought out half my clothes at first, started asking me so many questions whats my fav band hows my job going (my grandpa had already told this man about me) he started telling me bout his daughter whos the SAME AGE as ME (25) and moments later telling me what brand mattress he has and asking if i wanted to “try it out”?? among so many other inappropriate things. he started offering to fix a bunch of stuff w my car, i kept turning him down n he’d be like no no it’ll take a few mins!! i’d literally be trying to drive off and he was leaning on my car just continuing to talk to me. he was trying so hard to get me inside his musty trailer talking bout its so hot outside come get AC but then showing me youtube videos on his phone making me stand in the heat 😭 he asked for my phone number in such a self pity way like “ik its a long shot🫤🫤” (ofc i gave it to him cuz i felt so backed into a corner!! i said it was just to fix my car, he has my grandpa’s brand new tires that were meant to go on my car. sucks. i called myself so i’d have his number and i blocked him).
to add i just got off a 9 hr shift i was so desperate to go home already 😭😭😭like i dont wanna stand in the 90° weather w the heavy emotions of my grandparents situation n talk to some loser old guy at a trailer park for an hr and a half
anyways i got home and started like sobbing. i dont even really know why. i tried calling my aunt, but my grandpa was over at her house on THE PHONE W THIS MAN AND STARTS TELLING HIM NOT TO BE INAPPROPRIATE W ME. like conveying to him i snitched 😭😭😭 right after i was just smiling to him n saying how it was nice to meet him like 5 mins earlier!!, regardless uncomfortable or not. the people pleaser in me doesnt want to feel the guilt of shaming this man for his behavior. and i had to just hang up n not talk to anyone so that is why i am posting here.
sorry this is so long i always feel the need to be super detailed when i tell stories. idk if im being super dramatic or what, i wish i could be more assertive w people like what if this man had bad intentions n managed to get me inside!! id just feel helpless? i need to work on that. im glad i got my clothes.

Anybody else find alters using the phone as a way to "escape" dissociation? Like obviously we're not actually escaping it; it feels like every time we look at the clock, an hour passes by. I feel like we're avoiding something by doing this but we haven't been able to stop long enough to figure it out. We are ALL (or at least all the frequent fronters) struggling hardcore with this because no matter how hard anyone tries to "just put it down," someone else seems to pick it up not long after. We've been dealing with a lot of uncertainty and navigating changes recently, and it definitely doesn't help that we're living in our car right now and use the phone for work. But it's frustrating because we feel like we should "just stop" scrolling and we don't. We tried making ourselves a routine that we could all add to and be accommodated by without relying on the phone so much, but implementing it hasn't gone well at all. Sure it's the first day but we've wasted ~%90 of this day with this problem. We just lose more and more time because the Internet feels like the only way we can handle how "fast" our brain spits information at us. It feels like the distraction is our only anchor from spiraling but at the same time know that it'll just make things worse in the long run. Anyone else struggling with this? Have you had any success figuring it out?

I, 33F, have been married to my husband 43M for 3 years now, together for 5 years. His daughter (22F) has HATED me since day 1. For context, I’ve never once tried to mother her and have only tried to be a supportive adult. In the beginning I tried everything to extend an olive branch, I financed a car for her in my name, I added her as an authorized user on my credit cards to help establish her credit after she turned 18. No matter what I did there was always open hostility and blaming me for anything that went wrong in her life. She gets pulled over for a DUI? It’s my fault because I must have called the cops on her and told them. She loses something? It’s my fault because I must have stolen it from her. The examples are endless. It got to the point where she told my husband that he had to choose between us and when my husband stood by my side, she didn’t attend our wedding and went no contact with us for a year and half. She resumed contact when she wanted his help, but it’s always with the caveat that I am not around. She throws fits whenever I am involved even if it’s as simple as we invite her to dinner. She is always asking for money since resuming contact since she refuses to hold a job. He ended up paying for her rent, gas, groceries, and fun money for over a year. Well he finally cut her off financially and only gave her the opportunity to earn money by cleaning our office. He started the business and I work with him. We had previously closed the office down and went full remote but we recently opened a new office and he’s hired his daughter to do the cleaning, which was supposed to be during business hours a set day each week. I was planning on doing hybrid work and taking an office, but I recently learned that he’s going to let her have a key and come in when she’d like, unsupervised. I am extremely uncomfortable with the thought of her having any unsupervised access to any space that I call my own considering her continued hostility towards me. WIBTA if I tell my husband that if she’s allowed to clean unsupervised that I will stick with working fully remote?
Edit to add more context: Mom and dad were together for 16 years but had been divorced for 3 years before I met my husband. She was originally NC with her mom but then chose to go between parents to get to be able to do what she wants. She dropped out of high school in 10th grade and hasn’t even tried for her GED. Mom has been married for 4 years and together with her husband for 5 years and they have 2 year old twin girls together.
Also I don’t want to work at the office since I would be worried about what she possibility do to anything that I leave there as she’s been pretty vindictive in the past.

Both Matte Metallic Dark Purple and Matte Russian Violet Purple vinyl wraps offer rich, deep purple hues with matte finishes, but they differ in their specific tones and effects:

1. Matte Metallic Dark Purple:
   • Metallic Effect: This option includes metallic flecks in the finish, adding shimmer and depth to the color. The metallic particles catch and reflect light, giving the wrap a dynamic appearance.
   • Darkness Level: The "dark" descriptor suggests a deeper shade of purple, likely with a higher concentration of black or darker tones in the mix.
   • Unique Look: The combination of matte and metallic finishes creates a unique visual effect that's both luxurious and eye-catching.
2. Matte Russian Violet Purple:
   • Tonal Characteristics: "Russian Violet" suggests a specific shade of purple, which may have slightly different undertones compared to the Dark Purple variant.
   • Matte Finish: Like the Matte Metallic Dark Purple, this option features a matte finish, offering a smooth and non-reflective appearance.
   • Depth and Richness: While it lacks metallic flecks, the Matte Russian Violet Purple may still offer depth and richness in its color, providing a bold yet elegant look.

Choosing between the two depends on personal preference and the specific aesthetic you're aiming for. The Matte Metallic Dark Purple offers a more dynamic and attention-grabbing appearance due to its metallic flecks, while the Matte Russian Violet Purple may provide a more traditional matte look with a unique shade of purple. Both options can add sophistication and personality to your vehicle, so it ultimately comes down to which one resonates with your style preferences.

As a long time lurker, I recently read the post about signs that you were raised by narcissistic parents and realized that maybe I had more of a problem than I wanted to admit. In light of this, I wanted to share/vent my recent struggle and get some outside perspective because at this point I've been in my own head for way too long.
To set the stage: my wife (29F) and I (29M) live in southern California. My parents split their time between northern California and Vegas (all 4-6+ hours away by car). My wife's mother lives close by (about 30 minutes away).
This all started when my wife and I decided we wanted to elope for our wedding. Our jobs have extremely rigid, time-consuming schedules, so finding time to do even this was hard enough. My wife wanted a June anniversary, so the only date we could make work happened to be Father's Day that year. My mom was also out of the country at the time. Despite originally not having any problem with our plan, my dad later changed his mind, invited himself to the "ceremony", and sulked the entire lunch afterward with her family to the point where everyone felt uncomfortable. He was upset that we chose to get married on Father's Day, while my mom was out of town. At the time I felt very guilty. However, our plan was just to spend literally a couple hours signing some papers. I didn't see a need to make my parents drive 8 hours round trip just to watch us sign some documents. We were even planning a celebration trip later on (that most definitely will not be happening now lol), so all the more reason we felt that they didn't need to be a part of this. Now we can't even look at the pictures from that day without feeling all the awkwardness of that day that he inserted himself into.
Then when my wife was pregnant, my mother-in-law's friend reached out and mentioned she had a ton of baby stuff that she wanted to give us, which we were more than happy to accept. This friend lived in Vegas, so I asked my parents if they could go grab the stuff. My dad immediately got upset and tried to convince me not to accept it. I didn't really understand why, but ultimately my mom ended up going to get it. Then when we requested they deliver the stuff to us a couple months before my daughter would be born, my dad again resisted and said he was busy with work and "did we really need the stuff now." I ultimately gave up my only two days off in a 30 day stretch of work to drive to and from Vegas myself to get the stuff in a timely manner. Naturally, my wife was very unhappy with this situation.
When my daughter was born, my dad decided they would visit us to meet the baby. They visited for a day around two weeks postpartum. They brought some food for us, took some pictures, but quickly left again. My wife was furious. She felt like that it had been more about them seeing the baby rather than caring about her in her vulnerable and exhausted state. I agreed, and at this point the stress of being new parents along with my inability to put my foot down against my parents was putting a strain on our relationship.
Then a couple months later, my mother flew in to live with us for a week to help with the baby. We had planned to enjoy a nice lunch and have a fun day on Sunday before she flew back to thank her for her help. We had all agreed on this being the plan, but a couple days before that Sunday, my dad called and stated that he had cancelled my mom's flight and that he'd drive over and pick her up on Saturday instead, skipping the Sunday plans altogether. We negotiated that he at least let us take her out to lunch on Sunday, which he finally agreed to, but then said he'd join us for lunch and to add him to the reservation. Now growing up I had gotten used to this kind of thing from my dad, but my wife had had it at this point. She was angry that he would try to make us change our plans last minute to accommodate him, and point blank refused to change the reservation, leaving my dad to sulk and complain that we weren't being respectful of him. At this point, we agreed that we would keep my parents at a distance and not try to ask them for any sort of help anymore. She also now refused to say hi to them whenever I called them and opted to just keep her distance.
Fast forward to about a week ago, I called my parents while I was home alone. At this point they had noticed that my wife was distant. My dad asked what was bothering us so we could talk it through. Before I could even get a full sentence out, he was already yelling: "oh my god you guys are still thinking about that? When will you let bygones be bygones? Okay fine, I'm the bad guy, are you happy now?" I have always just relented and apologized to appease my dad's feelings, but this time I became angry and pointedly stated that our needs should come first, especially during this period of time. In response, he said that we "never considered that maybe he wanted to feel the joy of buying stuff for his granddaughter", and "have I ever considered that maybe he's uncomfortable going to get hand-me-downs from someone he doesn't know." I told him I felt like what I asked for wasn't unreasonable, and even if it made him a little uncomfortable, would it be that hard to put aside his feelings to help his son. He said "well if you asked me to jump off a bridge, should I do that then?" This was the conversation that really stuck with me and ultimately put me in the headspace to want to make this post.
Now most recently, Mother's Day weekend came up, and my brother's college graduation in northern California was on the Saturday. It also happened to be a friend's wedding. Due to my work schedule, the baby, the wedding, and wanting to celebrate with my wife for her first Mother's Day, I felt it was best that I not travel and just celebrate with my brother at a later date. My brother and mom were understanding, but my dad made it a point to call me and try to convince me to blow off work and skip the wedding, and that "family always comes first." Funnily enough come Mother's Day, they never even tried to wish my wife a happy first Mother's Day. Instead when I FaceTimed them myself to wish my mom a happy Mother's Day, I could see my dad sulking again that my wife had declined to be present for the call. I don't think to this day he fully understands why we're so upset and still feels that we are the disrespectful ones.
Anyways, there's so much more I could say but this post is way too long as it is. I feel like I've thought myself into circles and now I'm not really sure what to think or how to feel anymore. I've been alternating between anger, sadness, and guilt that maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion. I guess I just wanted to put my feelings out there and see what other people thought. Thanks for reading!

Link Copier with Redirects

Description

The Link Copier with Redirects UserScript is designed to help you effortlessly copy all the links from a webpage, including those with redirects, directly to your clipboard. Whether you are a researcher, a developer, a marketer, or anyone who frequently needs to gather links, this script simplifies the process by automating the task and ensuring that you capture the final redirected URLs.

Features

• Easy to Use: Activate the script by pressing Alt+1 on any webpage.
• Copies All Links: Collects all unique links present on the webpage.
• Handles Redirects: Follows redirects and captures the final URLs.
• Clipboard Integration: Automatically copies the collected links to your clipboard.
• Notifications: Notifies you when the copying process starts and completes.

How to Use

1. Install the script using a UserScript manager like Tampermonkey or Greasemonkey.
2. Navigate to any webpage from which you want to copy links.
3. Press Alt+1 to start the link copying process.
4. Receive a notification once the links have been copied to your clipboard.
5. Paste the links wherever you need them.

Who Should Use This Script?

• Researchers: Quickly gather sources and references from various websites.
• Developers: Collect URLs for testing or documentation purposes.
• Marketers: Compile links for analysis or outreach campaigns.
• General Users: Anyone who needs an efficient way to collect and manage links from webpages.

Why Use Link Copier with Redirects?

1. Time-Saving: No more manual copying of links one by one.
2. Accurate: Ensures you get the final redirected URLs, avoiding dead or temporary links.
3. Convenient: Simple keyboard shortcut activation and instant clipboard access.
4. Reliable: Handles large numbers of links and provides clear notifications for user feedback.

Installation

1. Install a UserScript Manager: If you haven't already, install Tampermonkey or Greasemonkey.
2. Add the Script: Click on the install button on greasyfork.org and add the Link Copier with Redirects script to your UserScript manager.
3. Enjoy: Navigate to any webpage and start using the script with Alt+1.

Feedback and Support

If you encounter any issues or have suggestions for improvement, feel free to open an issue on our GitHub repository.
Download the Link Copier with Redirects script now and streamline your workflow!

[21 M]I can’t believe I almost threw my entire life away for a girl who only wanted to control me.
We met in the summer of 2022, fell in love so fast even though I had to move 4 hours away for college. She would visit me every few weeks but quickly all of my boundaries were broken, but we wanted to get married so it didn’t matter, right?
Wrong.
She hated that I’m a lean distance runner instead of a gym rat “Chad” with big muscles, and I grew up in the suburbs instead of in the country. And she wanted to push my physical and emotional boundaries every time we were together, tempting me every single time to go further than I was comfortable with. I was so humiliated that I lied to my family about nearly everything about the relationship. When she would go back home, she would spin it, and say that I let things get out of control. I would apologize like crazy and cry to myself, promising I wouldn’t let it happen again. I’m the man, so I’m responsible, right? I should be leading, so why was I letting this happen?
She wanted to get married on May 15, and wouldn’t have it any way other than to “run away” to Colorado and get married out there. She wouldn’t tell her family, I had to spend $400+ on a custom suit, $1800+ on her car maintenance, and I wasn’t allowed to invite my family or friends or she’d break us up. After begging, she let me call my mom and tell her the plan right before I started finals. So my finals week was stressed enough, then add a family who’s to this day pissed at me for planning on getting married without them. I love my family so so so much, especially my youngest brother. But I had to be committed, right? If I couldn’t commit to a wedding HER way, I wouldn’t be committed enough for a marriage with her. At least, that’s how twisted my head was.
Anyways, finals were over and it was time to leave for CO, and we had some minor car trouble and she called the whole thing off. Without asking me for any perspective or leadership or anything. We made it back to my hometown(a lot closer to my college than CO) and we agreed to come up with a marriage plan in 3 days. When the 3 days came… she broke up with me and said I’m not her type and I love my mom too much for her.
I had $200 left to my name total, no car, no job, no home. Moved in with my parents, cried to my mom, dropped out of college because I can’t afford it anymore, worked upwards of 96hrs/week at times. Now I bought a car, I have an emergency fund and a comfortable amount of money to live off of, I’m about to start a new career that I’ve worked the last year for(doesn’t require a degree), and moving out of my parents’ soon.
But tomorrow marks 1 year. And I’m scared of the memories and questions that will inevitably come and torment me. Am I still the weakling who let myself get manipulated? Did I throw my life away even though we never got married? It’s so hard to think about and none of my friends are around to talk it out with. Thanks, fellow Redditors, for being a safe haven for weirdos and goofballs like me. Love you all.

I (17) been dating this girl (17) for like the past 3 weeks we went to prom together and she came to my highschool graduation with my family and she stayed the night. We really connected and we coincidentally have the same social worker who has been trying to get us together for years. We made it official when she stayed the night because we connected so well and were essentially a perfect match. We have a date this Friday we're gonna spend all day together and then she's gonna stay the night Friday and maybe Saturday. I'm running it over with my mom and she said no to her staying the night because she's my girlfriend now but let her stay last week when we were just dating???? We haven't really sat down to talk about it it was just a quick exchange but I'm gonna sit and have a conversation with her tomorrow about it. I'm the more responsible of my siblings I've never done drugs stayed out late had sex etc and I always worked hard in school finishing 37/240 students and graduating a year early (last Saturday I graduated). I work have my own car and pay the bills she asks me too which is my Insurance and phone bill. And I have a social worker who again works with both me and my girlfriends family so the social worker can vouch for both of us. I know why she says no, (afraid we'll have sex) but I've more than proven myself to responsible and she will be in the house she can come in my room anytime and check on us. We're most likely gonna be together for awhile and we both will turn 18 in the coming months so again I don't see why. Thoughts or advice?
I also wanted too add: my brother who's 9 months younger than me has been dating for awhile and my mother gave him condoms expecting him to have sex but I never got that treatment (not condoms but like the female version). I've always spoke up about how the boys in my family are treated better than the girls even though their the less responsible ones. I'm just adding this because it adds to my defense of why she should be able to stay.

Hi Guys,
Please help me, how to solve this little issue, I want to add new address to a group in a FortiManager with a POST API CALL
The next code create the new address and effectively add it to TEST_GROUP, but delete the old members from TEST_GROUP, how can I solve this?
Thank you!!!
{
"id": 2,
"method": "set",
"params": [
{
"data": [
{
"name": "NEW_IP",
"type": "ipmask",
"subnet": "x.x.x.x/32"
}
],
"url": "/pm/config/adom//obj/firewall/address"
},
{
"data": {
"name": "TEST_GROUP",
"member": ["NEW_IP"]
},
"url": "/pm/config/adom//obj/firewall/addrgrp",
"condition": {
"q_origin_key": ["NEW_IP"]
}
}
]
}