My proffesor announced to us that we basically won’t know if we passed until it appears in our transcript and I think that’s ridiculous. It’s most likely because he doesn’t want to deal with students begging to pass after they see they got a D but still. It was an extremely difficult class and a lot of us want to know already if we have to retake it or not. All of my other profesors were able to post their final grades barely two days after the last day of finals. But with him it’s been over a week since the final and nothing. We turned in a huge project and a final exam towards the end of the semester and neither are in canvas so I have no idea how good I did on either and if I’ll even pass or not and it’s stressing me out beyond belief every hour that passes. Have any of you experienced something similar?
Edit 1: For those of you saying “maybe he’s busy” I literally don’t care. He never cared for us when he was carpet bombing us with hard ass assignments the entire semester. I myself have missed so many personal events and occasions just to complete the work and study for his class alone. He never gave a crap about us or our free time and would verbally make that clear occasionally and would purposefully give extra shit to do if it was a weekend like Easter or the Super Bowl because he hated both of those days. I’ll do a full review of him in this subreddit soon but please trust me when I say he’s not only an awful professor but an awful person too so those of you saying “he’s probably not out to get you” I’d put money on you all being wrong. There was only around ten of us left after drops due to no one wanting to deal with him or his workload and I wanna slap past me in the face for trying to soldier through because now I don’t even know if it was worth it.

Special thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for creating the NoP universe.
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I'd also like to thank u/xskipy10 for their awesome fanart of the main cast as well as their recent Tohba meme and their fanart of Michael baysitting. You're work is a treasure!
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Thank you as well to u/Accomplished-Golf-59 for his take on Michael, Teylim, and Tohba in his submission for the Banner Art Contest, and u/Spacer_Catgirl4969 for their awesome music video featuring a pixel-art Dohkar in his bar. Be sure to give ALL of these awesome creators your love and support.
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And let's not forget u/Guywhoexists2812 who has been an awesome source of memes as well as sick pixel art, such as THIS and THIS!!!! And even THIS!!!!!! And how could I forget THIS!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!
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Today, we join Khornel and Michael as they prepare for yet another protest show as they continue the fight against those abusing their power. LETTUCE...conclude...for now...
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First
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Previous
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Songs Mentioned/Used: Gives You Hell by The All American Rejects
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Memory Transcript Subject: Khornel, Krakotl Talent Manager Date:[Standardized Human Time] February 2, 2137
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Aaaand DONE!
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I turned my head from side to side, inspecting my handiwork. While I still wasn’t QUITE as good at it as Ms. Teylim, touching up my feather dye was becoming easier and easier with practice. I’d even experimented a bit this time, and I was really liking how it turned out.
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If only this crappy mirror wasn’t so smudgy.
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Regardless of the state of the motel’s bathroom mirror, I was satisfied with the way I looked. My blue and newly touched up orange feathers were complimenting each other perfectly. And the slight hint of pink along the border definitely helped the whole spectrum of colors come together.
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Perfect.
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Once I was out of the bathroom, I sat down on the bed I was sharing and went through my bag to make sure I had everything.
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Pad? Check!
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Client contracts? Check!
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Pens? Check!
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Extra pair of glasses in case he forgets…again…
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Check!
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Credits for the fare? Eeeehhh, we can walk.
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Other than that though, I had everything.
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“Hey… Khorry?”
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My crest perked up at the voice. I turned around to see Scolina working at the small table in the kitchen area.
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“Yeah? What’s up?”
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“Sorry… I know you’re about to leave, but could you…help me with this?”
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I gave her a reassuring smile as I came over. Looking at the page she was working on, it seemed she’d gotten stuck on one of the problems for her math courses. Since she hadn’t received any education in the facility, she had a lot to catch up on, especially considering she was only a cycle younger than me.
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“Oh, I see the problem. You were right to divide both sides of the equation here, but the problem is when you tried, you accidentally wrote the fraction upside down. Since you’re dividing the zero by something else, it should be on top.”
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“So when I accidentally put it on the bottom-“
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“You created an irrational loop because-“
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“You can’t divide by zero.”
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Scolina cradled her head in her paws, continuing to stare down at her homework.
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“Thanks, Khorry. Sorry I’m so dumb.”
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“Hey! Don’t you ever say that about yourself! You’re not dumb, ‘Lina. You’re just behind, and that isn’t your fault.”
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“But…but I-“
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“Listen, if I had a credit for every time I made a dumb mistake in just these past few months alone, we wouldn’t need to live here. Making mistakes doesn’t make you dumb, it just means you’re learning.”
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She sniffled a bit before wiping away at her with her arm, the small pink sleeve that covered her scar soaking up any tears that were forming.
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“Thanks, Khorry.”
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I bent down and draped my wings around my sister, giving her a nice warm hug. After everything, while she DID have a very touching reunion with her father, the absence of her mother and the introduction of Trivah, Dailo, and Trilly was a bit too much change to deal with all at once.
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So we all decided that she’d stay with us for now until she’d adjusted a bit. It was odd at first, to be sure, but I liked having her here. Grandfather adored her and I had to admit, having a little sister, at least unofficially, was something I was definitely warming up to.
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“Always happy to help. Now, I’ll be working late tonight so be sure to get both yourself and grandfather to bed at a decent time, alright?”
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“Okay. Bye-bye, Khorry.”
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“Bye-bye, hatchling.”
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I ran my beak through her head fur, preening out a small tangle and freeing a spine that was loose. Once I’d disposed of it, I turned to head out the door, but not before stopping at the other bed, where Grandfather was sat, listening to the radio. His expression instantly brightened as he heard me coming.
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“Off to change the world again, Little ‘Nel?”
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“I’m gonna try.”
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“I know you will.”
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I knelt down and gave him his hug as well. I missed this. After so long without him, every hug was a nostalgic treasure.
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“And I’m not little anymore!”
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“Perhaps not, but you’ll always be MY Little ‘Nel.”
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“I know, Grandfather. I’ll be sure to make you proud out there.”
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“You already do, my child. Now go. And be sure to tell that future Grandson-in-law of mine to run a comb through his head fur from time to time. I can’t even see and I can tell how scruffy he looks.”
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I pulled away as felt my face turn warm, adding a splash of purple to the spectrum of color on my face.
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“It’s not like that! WE’RE not like that! …Not yet, anyways…”
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“Well, then tell him to hurry it up already! I want great grandpups before I die!”
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CAW! CRAW!
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“GRRRRGH!! NOPE! Not having this conversation! Goodbye! Love you!”
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“Love you too! Best of luck today!”
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“Bye-bye, Khorry!”
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I barely heard the taunts of my family behind me as I stomped out the door and slammed it. After taking a moment to settle my feathers back down, I walked down the hall to the next door over.
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Knock knock knock!
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“It’s open!”
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My mood instantly brightened from the kind, muffled, voice inside the room. I opened the door and was immediately greeted by the sight of Ms. Teylim making a meal, along with her adorable hatchling excitedly bouncing in his high chair.
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“Khornel, dear!”
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“NEWWY!!!”
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I walked over at a brisk pace before kneeling down to give them both hugs.
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“Where’s Michael?”
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“He should be-“
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SLAM!!!
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“Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Lost track of time!”
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I couldn’t help but roll my eyes as my scatterbrained best friend and business partner sprinted into the kitchen area and quickly grabbed a slice of strayu from the table.
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“You ALWAYS lose track of time!”
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As much as I wanted to scold him for not being ready by the time I got here AGAIN, we didn’t have the time.
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“Let’s just get moving before we’re late.”
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“Right! Let’s go!”
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However, just as we were about to leave…
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“Ahem. Forgetting something, my joey?”
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Michael looked up for a moment and frantically began checking his pockets before looking back at Ms. Teylim. Her smug look said it all. After a quick facepalm, he immediately jogged back to the kitchen area and knelt down to give her a goodbye hug, as well as a peck on the cheek for good measure. Lucky…
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“Muah! Bye, Ma! Love you!”
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“Be careful!”
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“We will!”
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Once he broke free from the hug, he made one last side trip to Tohba’s high chair, already going to plant a kiss on the top of his head. Again, lucky…
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“MIKEY!”
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“Mmmmmmm-“
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“HEEHYEHAHAHA! TICKWES!!”
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“-mmmMUAH! Bye-bye, Bud! ¡Te amo!”
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“BYE-BYE, MIKEY!!”
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With his goodbye hugs and kisses out of the way he made his way over to me…
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My turn?!
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…Only to run right past me and out the door.
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Awwwe… Phooey…
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Dejected as I was, I chased after him and down the hall.
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“What?! I don’t get a kiss, too?!”
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“Buy me dinner first, Bird Brain!”
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“UGH!! You’re the WORST!!”
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Memory Transcript Subject: Dohkar, Venlil Militia Leader Date:[Standardized Human Time] February 2, 2137
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“COMMANDER ON DECK!”
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STOMP!
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My four brothers stood in a line in front of the bar, still as statues as I came down the stairs. I still wasn’t sure how to feel about most of them. While I left, they all stayed, and continued fighting for The Guild even when they knew what they were doing was wrong.
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Still, I knew these men. They all trained with me, ate with me, stood by me…grew up with me, and now, they stood here, ready to fight with me. While I could never forgive them for standing by while the people I loved suffered, I am willing to let them prove they’re willing to change.
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“At ease.”
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I marched in front of them, inspecting each to make sure their garb and gear was in order. In some ways, it resembled their old Guild uniforms minus any actual environmental protection. However, instead of chrome, we wore the same white coloration of the APCs that had broken through the Guild Offices walls. Black boots, gloves and bandoliers offset the white of our suits. And finally, five stripes of bright, blazing, blue accented our new badges, reminiscent of not only the blue helmets of the UN troops that fought by our sides, but also the eyes of a particular human musician, one I was looking forward to hearing sing again.
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“Alright men, in order for this rally to go smoothly, we need to be on our guard. My most recent talks with Tevis didn’t go quite as well as I’d hoped, but I did manage to get him to leave us be for the most part. While we WILL still have to deal with the Interim Guard being there, they won’t be coming nearly as armed or numerous as usual. They’re simply there to observe, nothing more. Keep your eyes on them, but don’t do anything rash, or let any of the civilians do so either.”
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I turned and marched down the line once more. While I was itching to move onto individual orders, there was the Mazik in the room to address.
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“Now, I know many of us are shaken by news of the archives on Talsk. Believe me, I am too, but that’s all the more reason for us to stay vigilant. The people are afraid, confused, and questioning everything. The Magistrate, on top of their normal nonsense, will be that much more desperate to keep control. It is our job to be the barrier between the people we serve, and those willing to use this crisis to exploit them. There will come a time to rest and collect our thoughts, but now is not that time. The people need us. This town needs us, and until that is no longer the case, we MUST remain strong.”
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“SIR!”
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Once I was at the end of the line again, I turned back around and began giving out individual orders, starting with-
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“Bennic, out of everyone else in the squad, you’re currently the one with the best rapport with the people. I’m having you in charge of evacuation in case something goes wrong. Keep your eyes peeled for escape routes and be ready to begin herding everyone together at a moment’s notice.”
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“Yes, sir.”
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Next in line was Abra, our weapon specialist. Out of everyone, he was our best shot, even better than me. But he ALSO had one of the itchiest flamer fingers among us as well.”
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“Abra, have you already made sure everyone’s gear is working properly?”
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“Yes, sir. Every sidearm, baton, and smoke bomb we have is cleaned, checked, and functional.”
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“Good, then I just want you to stay vigilant. Find some higher ground and keep an extra close eye on the Interim. The moment one of them tries something funny, I want to know.”
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“And if they try harming the civilians?”
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I furrowed my brow at him. I knew what he was getting at.
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“Aim for NON-lethal, and make sure you have proof that THEY were the aggressors first.”
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He gave a dejected chuff before responding.
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“Yes, sir…”
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What am I going to do with you, little brother?
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Next was Ento, probably the only other Yotul here in town other than Teylim and Tohba, were they still here.
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“Ento, were you able to make your last diagnostics check on the sound equipment last paw.”
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“Yep! Everything on our end was working perfectly last I checked. We’ll still have to wait until they try connecting to know for sure, though.”
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“Do everything you can to make sure it works. Leave the Interim and civilians to us.”
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“Yes, sir!”
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Finally, there was our medic, Canuck. Besides Bennic, this Zurulian was probably the one I was closest with growing up, if only because I’d always get the brunt of Albiel’s punishments when I’d stand up for the others, and it was usually Canuck patching me up.
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“Canuck, in the case of an emergency, I want you to return to Dr. Forrik’s clinic. Since he’s still caring for his wife, I need you there getting everything ready in case something happens.”
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“You sure you lot will be alright without me there?”
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“We’ll be fine. The clinic will need you more than we will.”
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“Yes, sir.”
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With one last turn, I inspected my squad one last time.
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“One last question.”
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“What is it, Ben?”
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“What about our…junior recruit?”
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I sighed and looked back towards the staircase leading upstairs, just in time to catch a pair of suspiciously Nevok-shaped ears dip back from around the corner. I made sure to speak loud enough for him to hear me.
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“He is to stay here and hold the fort. And he should bear in mind, I don’t just let ANYONE watch over MY bar. This is a large responsibility I’m trusting him with, and I trust he won’t let me down.”
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The ears reappeared and solemnly nodded before retreating back up the stairs. Once I was sure my point was made, I turned back to my squad.
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“Alright, if that’s all, we’ve got protestors to escort! Let’s move out!”
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“SIR!”
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Memory Transcript Subject: Khornel, Krakotl Talent Manager Date:[Standardized Human Time] February 2, 2137
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The Soulroot tram station was surprisingly bustling. I half-expected the place to be a ghost town like most places were after Cilani’s interview. But with the news breaking about the Farsul’s archives breaking, it seemed the people of Soulroot were out and about more than ever, either flocking to the many churches and chapels in the area, or simply deciding to pray at the Soulroot itself for answers…any answers.
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“Damn. I always forget just how big that thing is.”
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Speak of the devil…
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We both gazed out the window of the tram car as it passed through the massive central park area of the city. In its exact center, dwarfing even the buildings surrounding the large, wooded park, was the city’s namesake: Kihri, The Soulroot. One of five massive Seraphim Trees spread across Venlil Prime.
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“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
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“Yeah. I can’t believe it was so close. I would’ve loved to have visited here.”
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“Maybe we will when we have time.”
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“I hope so.”
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Once we passed the park, we turned back around and returned to our pads. He was working on another instrumental while I decided to pull up our current client list. I suddenly remembered something as soon as the list loaded and I saw the newest addition.
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“Oh! By the way! I got us a new client!”
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“Oh, sick! Who are they?”
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“A restaurant in the next district over. It’s called The Lackadaisy. It IS an hour-long tram ride there, but it pays well, AND I got us a few perks as well.”
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“OoooOOOoo! Like?”
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“Like us getting to eat AND take out half off on the paws we play there. It might not be dinner, but I’d say half off lunch and take out once a week isn’t half bad.”
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“You da bird, ‘Nel. When do we start?”
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“You are scheduled to play during the lunch rush in two paws. We are to enter through the back entrance and meet with co-owners Sylvon and Kenta.”
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“Sylvon and Kenta. Got it!”
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Now approaching: Five Meadows
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“This is our stop.”
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We knew the tram wouldn’t take us all the way there. The Magistrate’s lockdown had seen to that, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t hang out by the border. In fact, the border that separated Soulroot and Five Meadows had become a popular gathering spot for people from both towns to “voice their displeasure”, which was exactly why we were here. With the lockdown of Five Meadows in effect, the war still ongoing, and the news of archives now made public, the people’s opinion of the local Magistrate was at an all time low. It was time to take advantage of that.
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Once we exited the tram and saw crowds growing on both sides of the fence separating us from our home, we immediately spotted the makeshift soundstage we’d be using, as well as several figures on the other side garbed in white. They only got clearer once we got closer. Michael was even more excited to see them as I was.
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“Heya Dohk!”
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Dohkar, dressed in the new uniform of the Five Meadows Militia, greeted us with a warm smile, being sure to stay a decent distance away for the electric fence.
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“Mike, Feathers, it’s good to see you two are alright.”
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“Likewise, nice duds by the way. Totally doesn’t make you look like an oompa loompa or anything.”
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“Watch it, Ape. I’ll have you know it was Trivah who made these.”
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“Shit! Is she alright?”
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“She’s fully recovered and here with her family. You’ll forgive me if I don’t call them over. The last thing I want is Trilly and Dailo trying to get through this fence.”
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“No worries. Just tell them I said hi.”
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A yotul garbed in the same uniform ran up to Dohkar and greeted us with a nod.
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“Everything’s set up, you two. Once you're connected, let me know and we’ll do a sound check.”
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“Right!”
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Memory Transcript Subject: Michael Ruiz Andrews, Human Street Musician Date:[Standardized Human Time] February 2, 2137
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Breathe…focus…
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Sometimes…I wonder if it was all worth it…
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Breathe…focus…
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In a lot of ways, life was the same as it was back on Earth. Here I was, stuck in a shitty apartment, well…motel room now, I guess. I still had a shitty landlord that hated my guts. I was still struggling to make ends meet, playing music I wasn’t all that crazy about for people I wasn’t all that crazy about. I still didn’t have any real direction to take my life in, or any real plans for the future. So…was it worth it?
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Breathe…focus…
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I’d lost almost everything I had. I lost my guitar, the only real thing I had to remind me of Dad, and everything he taught me. I lost pretty much all of my possessions. Hell, the only reason I had new clothes to use at all was thanks to the human embassy here in Soulroot. I lost my home a second time, just days after finally bringing myself to start calling it that. I even almost lost my life. My scar still itches from time to time just thinking about it. So…was it really worth it? Remembering all the pain, suffering, heartache, and loss I’d been through in these past few months, sometimes I really question it.
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Breathe…focus…
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But then…then I remember the GOOD times. I remember all the people I’ve met, all the songs and memories we’ve made together.
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Breathe…focus…
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I remember meeting Mom, and my baby brother. I remember singing for them for the first time. I remember sitting and eating breakfast with them, talking and laughing the early hours away. I remember watching Tohba and teaching him how to sing, just like Dad taught me. I remember meeting Dohk, his honest words and advice keeping me grounded when the world around me just didn’t make sense. I remember meeting ‘Nel, slowly but surely building a friendship and trust that I wouldn’t give for anything.
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Hopefully she puts up with me long enough for me to finally be ready.
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I remember all the strife and challenges I’ve gone through, knowing that I wasn’t alone for any of it. I remember all the things I’ve gained: A life, a family, a mentor, a partner…
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A home…
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Breathe…focus…
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A home worth fighting for.
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Breathe…focus…
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A home worth living for.
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Breathe…focus…
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A home…worth playing for…
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So breathe…focus…and play…
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The speakers come to life with a chill beat, soft snares and shakers keeping the pace as the ambience builds. A triangle marks my entrance as I take over, plucking at Teyrin’s strings. I nod along with the bouncing melody, letting myself get into it. I see a few in the crowd begin swaying along as I begin to let my soul sing.
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I wake up every evenin’…with a big smile on my face! And it never feels out of place!
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It’s hard to not grin as I speak, letting the notes express my current mood perfectly. I make sure to give those Interim jerks guarding the border a smug look which they definitely don’t appreciate.
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And you’re still probably workin’…at a nine-to-five pace! I wonder how bad that tastes!
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When you see my face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell!
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When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives yooou hell!
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I turn to ‘Nel, standing up on stage singing next to me. There’s no one I’d rather be up here with.
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Now, where’s your picket fence, Love? And where’s that shiny car? Did it ever get you far?
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You never seemed so dense, Love! I’ve never seen you fall so hard! Do you know where you are?
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When I’m up here…and I think about my old life on Earth…
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And truth be told, I miss you… (Miss you…)
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And truth be told, I’M LYIN’!!!
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We turn to the closest Interim chump keeping us from our home.
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WHEN YOU SEE MY FACE, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL!
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WHEN YOU WALK MY WAY, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOOOU HELL!
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WHEN YOU FIND A MAN THAT’S WORTH A DAMN AND TREATS YOU WELL!
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THEN HE’S THE FOOL, YOU’RE JUST AS WELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOOOU HELL!
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I hope it gives you hell!
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Memory Transcript Subject: Jerrick, Nevok Fugitive Date:[Standardized Human Time] February 2, 2137
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The mood of the song calmed for a moment. I watched the live broadcast just hoping nothing would happen. Everything going on was just so CRAZY. With the raid, the Magistrate taking over, and now the archives, it just made everything I did in the name of The Guild even more pointless.
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Tomorrow, you’ll be thinkin’ to yourself, “Yeah, where did it all go wrong?” But the list goes on and on!
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Everything I did for HIM…pointless…
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And truth be told, I miss you… (Miss you…)
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And truth be told, I’M LYIN’!!!
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I hope you rot, Father…
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WHEN YOU SEE MY FACE, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL!
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WHEN YOU WALK MY WAY, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOOOU HELL!
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WHEN YOU FIND A MAN THAT’S WORTH A DAMN AND TREATS YOU WELL!
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THEN HE’S THE FOOL, YOU’RE JUST AS WELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOOOU HELL!
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Memory Transcript Subject: Michael Ruiz Andrews, Human Street Musician Date:[Standardized Human Time] February 2, 2137
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A figure stands in my periphery… I know who she is…
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Now you’ll never see! What you’ve done to me!
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She’s not my mother…
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You can take back your memories, they’re no good to me!
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“You’ll never be rid of me, Blue.” I know…
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You can hiss all your lies! You can look me in the eyes!
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With that sad, sad, look that you wear so well!
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But that just means you get to watch as I live my life without you in it.
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[Warning!: You Are About To Access Restricted Files: Continue?: Y/N…]
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[The Following Is A News Broadcast Archived By Magistrate Intelligence…]
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[The camera opens on a female, human, reporter with green eyes standing in front of an energetic crowd…]
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“WHEN YOU SEE MY FACE, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL!!! HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL!!!”
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“AS YOU CAN SEE BEHIND ME, THE “FREE FIVE MEADOWS” RALLY IS WELL UNDER WAY!”
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“WHEN YOU WALK MY WAY, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL!!! HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL!!!”
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“AND YOU CAN JUST FEEL THE ENERGY OF THE CROWD HERE!”
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“WHEN YOU FIND A MAN THAT’S WORTH A DAMN AND TREATS YOU WELL!!!”
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“ON THE FAR SIDE OF THE FENCE, IT APPEARS THAT THE RUMORED “FIVE MEADOWS MILITIA” ARE ACTUALLY HERE GUARDING THE PROTESTORS!”
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“THEN HE’S THE FOOL!!! YOU’RE JUST AS WELL!!! HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL!!!”
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“HOPEFULLY, WE’LL BE ABLE TO GET AN INTERVIEW! UNTIL THEN, JUST LISTEN TO THIS!!!”
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Memory Transcript Subject: Michael Ruiz Andrews, Human Street Musician Date:[Standardized Human Time] February 2, 2137
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Breathe…focus…and ROAR!!!
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To my old life on Earth!
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WHEN YOU SEE MY FACE, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL!
“GIVES YOU HELL!!!”
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To the Federation killing my people!
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WHEN YOU WALK MY WAY, HOPE IT GIVES YOU HELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOOOU HELL!
“GIVES YOU HELL!!!”
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To the Magistrate holding my hometown hostage!
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WHEN YOU HEAR THIS SONG AND SING ALONG, THOUGH YOU’LL NEVER TELL!
“YOU’LL NEVER TELL!!!”
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To every last asshole who thinks I’m a monster for what I am!
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THEN YOU’RE THE FOOL, I’M JUST AS WELL! HOPE IT GIVES YOOOU HELL!
“GIVES YOU HELL!!!”
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To that monster who took my mom, rotting in whatever cell he’s being held in.
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WHEN YOU HEAR THIS SONG, I HOPE THAT IT WILL GIVE YOU HELL!
“GIVE YOU HELL!!!”
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And lastly, to that figure, that voice in my head telling me I don’t deserve a home…
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YOU CAN SING ALONG! I HOPE THAT IT PUTS YOU THROUGH HELL…
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The End

Special thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for creating the NoP universe.
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I'd also like to thank u/xskipy10 for their awesome fanart of the main cast as well as their recent Tohba meme and their fanart of Michael baysitting. You're work is a treasure!
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Thank you as well to u/Accomplished-Golf-59 for his take on Michael, Teylim, and Tohba in his submission for the Banner Art Contest, and u/Spacer_Catgirl4969 for their awesome music video featuring a pixel-art Dohkar in his bar. Be sure to give ALL of these awesome creators your love and support.
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And let's not forget u/Guywhoexists2812 who has been an awesome source of memes as well as sick pixel art, such as THIS and THIS!!!! And even THIS!!!!!! And how could I forget THIS!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!
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Today, we join Dohkar as he finally completes his mission and puts an end to the horrors of the Five Meadows Guild once and for all. Now all that's left...is to pick up the pieces...and prepare for whatever comes next... And finally...a family is made complete... LETTUCE...continue...
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First
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Previous
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Songs Mentioned/Used: N/A
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Memory Transcript Subject: Dohkar, Venlil Bartender Date:[Standardized Human Time] January 16, 2137
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I’m not sure what I expected to see or experience when I finally caught up to Albiel, but it wasn’t this. What I saw before me had me completely off-guard. Albiel, on the ground, with a plasma burn straight through his knee, and standing above him, was…
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“Jerrick…put…the gun…down…”
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I held my paws up, doing my best to talk him down. I hadn’t even SEEN Jerrick since the concert. Honestly, I hate him for what he tried to do to Mike, but looking at him now…all I felt as pity…
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His fur was stained from dirt, grime, and stars know what else. Just like Teylim, he had a collar around his neck, and his ears weren’t so much as pinned back, as they were just play glued back from all of the filth he’d no doubt been wallowing in this whole time. Albiel really did just lock him away in a cell the moment her was no longer useful.
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“HE DESERVES IT!!!”
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“I know. Believe me, I know. But this isn’t the answer.”
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Sure. I hated Albiel. I despised him. I detested him. And yes, I wanted to kill him, too. But for people like him, death alone isn’t enough. And it certainly wouldn’t help Jerrick in the long run.
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“Jerrick, listen to me. You’ve been through this exact situation before. At the concert, remember.”
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He flinched as soon as I mentioned that paw.
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“You could’ve hit that shit dead on. You and I both know it. But you missed on purpose, didn’t you?”
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Jerrick’s shaking got worse and worse. I could see the conflict happening behind his eyes. I could tell I was making progress when I saw the small twinkles building up in the corner of his eyes.
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Poor kid… Just a kid…
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“I…I-I just wanted a… j-just wanted him to-“
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“Be a father. I know… That’s what we all wanted. We were just pups, with no one to love us, to care for us, to help us grow.”
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At this point, I felt like I was talking to both of them now. I slowly took a step toward them, and then another, and another. I looked down at the pathetic monster at my feet. Bleeding…broken…and for the first time I think in his life…afraid…
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“We didn’t want some ‘grand purpose’. We didn’t want to inherit some empire. We just wanted a family.”
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I looked at Jerrick. I’d managed to get right next to him. I didn’t grab for the gun. I simply kneeled down beside him, and spoke calmly…
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“That’s why you missed, isn’t it? You saw what Mike had. You saw what you’d be taking away from them.”
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“It’s not fair… It’s just not fair…”
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“It never is…but you have to understand that you CAN still have that. I’m the proof. If I was able to walk away, and have a chance at a life and a family, then so are you.”
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For the first time, his eyes left his target and met mine. At that moment, I saw Jerrick for who he was, without any of the dogma, arrogance, or misplaced loyalty. He wasn’t an exterminator, PD patient, or a murderer. He was a child, just a child who lost his way.
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“You didn’t have to pull the trigger then, and you don’t now.”
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It was only then, that I held out my paw, and with more than a little hesitation, Jerrick handed it to me. Before I was tempted myself, I threw the thing down the hall. Before I could do anything else, I heard that same, smug, arrogant, if slightly choked up laughter coming from the absolute disgrace behind me. I turned to face my father, my abuser, my monster as his signature look of pride came back, his stupid horn glinting in the light of the building’s ceiling lamps.
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“So that’s it, then? Just like that? Where is all that rage and fire I saw in your eyes, when I held that sub-sapient primitive in my grasp, and threatened to find and kill that spawn of hers?”
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He’s baiting you.
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I know.
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“Even when you’re saving my life, you’re still a disappointment, Dohkar.”
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“I’m not saving your life, I’m just prolonging your death.”
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I held an arm out to shield Jerrick. I wasn’t going to let him bait me into attacking. Instead, I’d turn his stupid trick against him, and I wanted to make sure Jerrick was safe.
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“You don’t deserve to die, Albiel. You deserve to LIVE, to sit in a cell and rot just like all the others whose lives you’ve helped ruin, and watch as everything you built crumbles down around you. You’re no leader. You’re just a pathetic disgrace to weak to stand on your own if you aren’t stepping on someone else to feel taller. And I’m going to make you live with that fact for the rest of your miserable life.”
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And then, just a moment, the mask slips one last time…
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“I’LL KILL YO-“
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Whrp-prrrck!!!
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Before he can lunge at us with the last of his strength, my tail wraps around his neck, and before he can choke out another word, his head is slammed into the ground…at just the right angle…to snap that horn of his at the base.
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SLAM!!!
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CRACK!!!
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Just like that, it was over. Jerrick let out a shaky breath, staring down at our unconscious father figure. Before he broke down completely, I pulled him into an embrace. We just sat there, him crying, and me holding him in what was probably the first real hug he’d ever recieved.
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“It’s alright, son. It’s over… It’s over…”
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Eventually, he finally ran out of energy, and fell asleep. Once everything was calm, I placed a finger to my ear piece.
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“This is 1-2 Dohkar. VIP subdued. Objective complete. Patients evacuated. Hostages secured. All hostiles neutralized. Mission accomplished. Over and out…”
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Memory Transcript Subject: Teylim, Yotul Refugee Sponsor Date:[Standardized Human Time] January 16, 2137
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My head was slightly foggy. I was barely paying attention to what any of the medics around me were saying. All I knew was my leg hurt, my ribs hurt, my pretty-much-everything-else hurt…and I missed my joeys…
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“There you are! I was hoping I could catch you before they moved you.”
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I turned my head and saw a pleasant, familiar, face approaching the cot I was laid out on.
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Heeheehee. Handsome face…
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These painkillers must be really something…
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“Dohkar! You’re alright.”
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“Yeah… Mission accomplished. It’s finally over.”
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“Good. Wait. W-what about Tohba, Michael, and Khornel? I heard them over the loudspeakers but-”
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“Easy, Teylim. Don’t strain yourself. They’re fine. They’re already on the way here.”
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My mind was instantly put at ease for the most part. My body protested as I took in a long breath and let it out in a relieved sigh. They were alright. My joeys were alright.
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[Transcript Time Progression: 15 minutes…]
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“So I don’t think I’ve EVER seen YOU cry before.”
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“I’m never living that down, am I?”
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“Oh, absolutely not. The great, brave, oh so stoic Dohkar putting on the waterworks for Little Ol’ Me!”
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“Pfft. Please. I was just sobbing in despair over getting stuck with two pups to take care of.”
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“Ha Ha.”
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Before I could chuckle at our stupid banter, my body quickly reminded me why that was a bad idea.
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Ow! Ow. Yep. Still hurts to laugh.
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Dohkar looked up for a moment and looked off into the distance.
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“Huh. Speak of the devil.”
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“MAMAAAAA!!!!” “TEEEEEYYY!!!!!” “MS. TEYLIM!!!!”
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MY BABIES!!
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We need our joeys.
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YES!
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With some effort, I turned my head in the other direction, and almost broke down instantly at what I saw.
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My joeys…all three of them. I felt a paw on my shoulder before Dohkar left.
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“I’ll…leave you to it… I still have to visit Clem and a few others.”
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After a moment, the soldiers guarding the field hospital let them through, and they immediately sprinted to my side. I couldn’t have them in my arms fast enough. After a solid minute of their voices combining into a jumbled slurry of “Are you okay”s and “I’m so sorry”s, things finally calmed down enough for a full conversation.
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“Mama….”
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“My precious…”
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Michael slowly lowered my Tohba into my arms, and as soon as he clung onto me, it felt like a massive piece of my heart and soul had been restored. He was alive! He was safe! They found him! And now he was back in my arms!
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“MAMA!!! MAMAAAAAHAAAAA!!!”
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“I’m here, Precious. Mama’s here…”
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It hurt. My body protested against the weight of my joey. My arms burned and my breaths were still ragged, but I didn’t care. I held onto my Tohba like I hadn’t held him in cycles, placing lick after lick on the top of his head. Once I was content with my grooming, I held an arm out to bring my other two joeys in.
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“Michael… Khornel… Thank the stars, you two are alright…”
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“Tey…” “Ms. Teylim…”
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“I heard you two over the loudspeakers. You did so well. I’m so proud of you…”
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We stayed like that for a while. As much as holding them hurt, I just didn’t want to let go. We did finally break free of our group hug however, when one of the soldiers came along and gave Khornel a salute.
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“Are you Ms. Khornel?”
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“Y-yes… That’s me…”
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“One of the other patients is asking for you. Clem?”
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“YOU FOUND GRANDFATHER?!”
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“Yes. He’s currently receiving medical attention but he’s stable. I can take you to him if you like.”
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Khornel jumped to her feet and almost sped off right there, but hesitated after looking back at the rest of us. Michael simply gave her a nod.
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“Go. We’ll catch up.”
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Every single feather she had ruffled in excitement before she let the soldier lead her away. I tried to listen as she got further and further away. Eventually, I was able to hear her.
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“Grandfather!”
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“Little ‘Nel! My Little ‘Nel!”
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I couldn’t help but smile.
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I’m so happy for you, Dear.
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And speaking of dears, I looked back up at Michael. We were alone now, just the three of us. He’d been remarkably silent this whole time. Now though, once he was sure no one else could here, he broke down completely.
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“I’m sORrY, TeY. I aM so, SO, SorRY…”
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“Sssshhhh… It’s alright. Whatever for?”
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“I sHouLD’Ve bEEn tHeRE. I ShOUld’Ve BeEN aT tHe hOUse. I shOuLdN’T hAve-”
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“Hey… Hey… None of that… Michael, sweetie look at me…”
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Michael sniffled and wiped away his tears, doing his best to hold it together. His bright blue eyes were filled with regret, regret that was entirely undeserved. All I had to do to prove it was point out the joey in my arms, fast asleep.
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“You found Tohba. You kept him safe. You agreed to stay behind even if you didn’t want to. And when the time came, you all found a way to help without putting yourself or the others in danger. You could NOT have handled yourself better today.”
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I strained to raise up my free arm and cup the side of Michael’s face in my paw, wiping away another tear streak with my thumb. I looked into my son's beautiful eyes with all the love I could muster.
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“I am SO…proud of you.”
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Without another word, he held my paw in his hand, nuzzling into it with his cheek. I finally had my boys with me again. And for the first time in a long time…everything felt like it was going to be alright…
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Memory Transcript Subject: Tevis, Magistrate Intelligence Operative Date:[Standardized Human Time] January 16, 2137
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I walked around the grounds of the field hospital. All around me, human medics and professionals were tending to the patients and hostages. The raid had been a success.
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Albiel was in custody… UN Custody…
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Many of the other exterminators were deaf from WHATEVER THE HELL that human did over the intercom.
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I watched as a large Krakotl was led to one of the elderly patients by a soldier.
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“GRANDFATHER!!!”
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“Little ‘Nel!!!!”
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The two embraced, the smaller Venlil running his claws through her feathers.
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“My Little ‘Nel…”
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“I missed you so much, Grandfather. I’m so sorry I let you get-”
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“Don’t you dare blame yourself. I’m just glad you’re alright…”
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I shook my head and continued moving. So that’s another family that will need housing. Pretty much every patient here is going to be a personal settlement case all on their own, with, more than likely, PLENTY to say about the state in which they were held in…
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I watched a frantic looking Gojid enter the hospital constantly looking around.
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“Scolina?! Has anyone seen my daughter?! Scolina?!”
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The Gojid eventually made their way closer towards the Krakotl and old Venlil from before. One of the Gojid patients on a nearby bed seemed to hear his call.
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“D…Daddy…?”
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The two made I contact, and the younger Gojid was almost immediately tackle hugged by the elder.
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“‘LINA!!! My sweet little ‘Lina, I’m so sorry!!!!”
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“DADDY!!! DADDY!!!”
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They broke away from the hug for a moment as the older Gojid looked in horror at the burn scars covering the girl.
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“Oh, ‘Lina what did they do to you?”
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“They…said it would fix me… Am… Am I fixed now, Daddy?”
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Just hearing the words seemed to make the man break down entirely all over again.
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“There was never anything wrong with you… I should never have sent you to this place… It’s all my fault…”
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“Daddy…”
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Judging from the girl’s speech patterns, she must’ve been taken in while she was a pup, which meant lots of special education as well as whatever this human “therapy” was.
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What a load of sanctimonious-
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I calmed myself before I could go on a rant.
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After doing the rest of my rounds, watching more and more people reunite with their family members, I walked off and went make a call back to HQ. As far as I could tell, this was the rundown: The bar was now filled with dead and/or dying exterminators, the Guild Office was filled with dead and/or dying exterminators, Albiel was now in custody, there were still exterminators on the Guild roster that were MIA, pretty much all the patients were now out and able to give testimony, and I had a LOT more paperwork than usual to take care of.
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Yep! Just about NOTHING has gone to plan.
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Time to change that…
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[Warning!: You Are About To Access Restricted Files: Continue?: Y/N…]
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[The Following Is A Clip From A News Broadcast Archived By Magistrate Intelligence…]
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[The clip opens up on a well-groomed Venlil reporter behind a desk with the logo of “Prime News”...]
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“Tensions rise once more in the Soulroot District as events continue to heat up in their border village of Five Meadows. We here at Prime News have been following the events of what is now being labeled, ‘The Five Meadows Incident’ over this past month, starting with the failed assassination of a human refugee and seemingly ending with the temporary shutdown of the Five Meadows Extermination Guild as a whole. However, while the crisis with The Guild does seem to have passed, things are still not well in that small border town. We go now to our newest seeker, Rose McDermott, out in the field. Rose?”
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[The camera changes to view a female human reporter standing in front of what appears to be a border checkpoint…]
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“Thank you, Talen. As anyone who has been following this incident with us would know, just two weeks ago, I was just actually IN the town of Five Meadows, just outside the former Guild Office, watching as patients, hostages, and soldiers alike were treated for their injuries and traumas. However, before we could get any interviews, we were quickly escorted from the premises by Interim Guard officials. And while The Soulroot Magistrate HAS released a public statement regarding the situation, their actions have led many to question their intentions, this checkpoint behind me being one chief example. As said in their public announcement, The Magistrate is now enforcing a full lockdown of Five Meadows, stating their intent to track down any exterminators who escaped the raid on their office and are still considered, “at large”. However, after the events of the Five Meadows Incident, many incriminating recordings being leaked online, as well as the upcoming election, many are wondering if The Soulroot Magistrate truly had the people’s best interests at heart. Back to you, Talen…”
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[The camera changes once more to show the Venlil reporter. They seem to take a breath before reshuffling the papers on the desk…]
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“Now…you all watching are more than aware of my opinions on such things as Extermination Guilds and Predator Disease Facilities. But…this is a news station. We can’t just sit here blindly theorizing and getting lost in conjecture. My opinions aside, and leaving just the facts alone, it is clear that what has happened in this small town is nothing short of tragic. And we here at Prime News will continue to cover these events as they unfold. And to any who are in or even from Five Meadows, our hearts and minds go out to you, and we hope you remain strong in these uncertain times. This is Talen with Prime News…signing off…”
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[Clip ends…]
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Memory Transcript Subject: Teylim, Yotul Refugee Sponsor Date:[Standardized Human Time] January 24, 2137
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“I’d like to thank you for joining us today, Ms. Teylim. I do hope you’re healing well.”
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I gave a smile to the kind man on the monitor as I shifted on the motel room bed.
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“Thank you. It’ll still be a little while before my leg is able to be walked on normally, but otherwise, I’m healing well. Thank you, Dr. Jacobson.”
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“I’m glad to hear it. Now then, onto the reason why I asked for this group session. It appears there’s been a slight breakdown in communication between you and Michael…”
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I gave a confused look to Michael, sat on the other bed in the motel room. He shifted uncomfortably and simply looked down at his hands.
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“What kind of breakdown?”
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“It seems that ever since things have been…brought out in the open between you two, he’s stated that he’s been experiencing ‘guilty’ feelings whenever trying to express affection.”
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“Is this true, Michael?”
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“It’s just… I don’t know what it is. I felt like…like I was wasting your time…”
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“Wasting my time?”
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“Tey… Be honest… When…exactly…did you start thinking of me like your son?”
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I did my best to think back. Honestly, after the first time he sang for us was probably the first time I felt something like that, but at the time, I just thought it was leftover mom hormones from having Tohba.
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“Honestly, the first time I felt something akin to motherly love for you was after you sang for us the first time. You just…looked so sad, lost, confused, and scared, and I just…gravitated towards it. Afterwards, things calmed down somewhat, but when I really started feeling it was Thanksgiving.”
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“Oh. I wasn’t aware that you tried having Thanksgiving. It makes sense in a way, though. That holiday, along with Christmas the following month, have great emphasis on spending time with one’s family.”
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Suddenly, a horrifying realization popped into my head.
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“Oh no! Michael, we forgot to celebrate Christmas!!”
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“Tey, it’s fine. All the present deliveries got canceled, anyways.”
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“It is not ‘fine’! We are celebrating Christmas! I don’t care if I have to drag a tree into this room myself!”
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“Ugh… Fine…”
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After a moment of laughing at ourselves, Dr. Jacobson continued.
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Well, we’ve established that one end of these feelings truly began around Thanksgiving. What about you Michael? When would you say you truly started seeing Teylim as a mother figure in your life?”
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“Honestly…I don’t know… Not for sure, anyways. In some ways, it feels like she’s always been that way to me, but maybe that’s just because even after just meeting her, she was already treating me better than my own mom did.”
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Honestly, I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. A part of me was giddy that he’d apparently always thought of me as a mother to him, another part was completely shattered by just how much his birth mother had affected him. It was like hearing his tale of abuse all over again.
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“I think…once I got used to actually calling her that in my mind, that was when the idea actually became real. That’s when I really started thinking about her as my mom. Not A mom…My mom… But even then, I just…couldn’t say it, no matter how hard I tried. Like I said, in some ways it just…always felt like she was my mom. So when I think about how long it took me to actually start acknowledging it and expressing it… I just…feel guilty. I wasted so much time…”
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I turned and sat facing toward him. I couldn’t let him truly believe that.
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“Michael, it could’ve taken three days, three months, or three years. I would’ve accepted your love whenever you were ready.”
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“But you shouldn’t have had to! You shouldn’t have had to wait for me just to get over myself.”
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“Michael…”
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“The fact is…you were right. That egg donor that gave birth to me isn’t my mom…you are…”
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My heart skipped a beat as he looked straight at me, my mind filling with just those last two words.
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I…am…
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“You’ve done more to raise, love, and nurture me in three months than my birth mom did in TEN YEARS. And you DESERVE a son that’s actually capable of accepting your love and giving it back. And I just…wasn’t able to do that…”
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I felt my heart breaking more and more. I had no idea he’d been feeling this way, and I wanted nothing more than to help him through it.
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“But that’s over now. I’m done blaming myself for something that wasn’t my fault. I’m done letting the words of a monster dictate what I am. That’s why I want to keep having sessions with you and Dr. Jacobson. I want to get better. So that I CAN be the son you deserve.”
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Oh, Michael. If only you knew. You already are.
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With some mixed feelings, I pulled over my satchel. There was something I’d been meaning to give him for a while now.
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“Michael, you are already a wonderful son, one I wouldn’t trade for the world. I’ve already said that much. And I’m so happy you’re committed to getting better. There is nothing I want more than your happiness. When you were about to leave, before the concert, I was so scared I was about to lose you. The way you so easily gave up like that…it scared me. It felt like…like I failed.”
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“Tey, I-”
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That’s why…”
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I slowly opened up my satchel and pulled out a small packet of papers. They were a bit torn and faded after fishing them out of the wreck that was my office, but I managed to find them.
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“I got these for you.”
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I handed him the papers and watched intently as he read them. I won’t lie, most of it is legal mambo jumbo that even I can’t fully understand, but I could tell exactly when he got to the important bit. I’d memorized that one beautiful line:
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I, Teylim Andrews do hereby fully and officially acknowledge ________________ as my-
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“Tey… Are these…adoption papers?”
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“You’re only half right.”
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He looked up from the papers, his eyes full of shock and awe.
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“You ARE a full, legal, adult, by both human and Yotul standards, so I can’t technically ‘adopt’ you. BUT, what we CAN do, as legal, consenting adults, is BOTH agree to sign these papers, fully acknowledging each other as family, me as your mother, and you as my son. This does a LOT of weird, quirky things involving Venlil law, mostly involving inheritances and insurance. BUT the most important thing, is that by legally becoming a part of my family, the door is open to you for FULL. CITIZENSHIP. You won’t have to be a refugee anymore.”
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Michael was speechless, just looking back down at the papers.
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“Tey, I… I don’t know what to-”
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“You don’t…have to sign if you don’t want to…”
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He looked back at me, waiting to hear me out.
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“At the time, I’d only gotten these to show you as proof, proof that I really AM serious about this. I truly DO see you as my own, Michael. And paper or no paper, that much will never change. I truly, completely, and purely…love you. And I want nothing more than for you to be happy…”
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I looked down at my own paws. I knew that presenting him with this choice meant having to accept the fact that he might say no. So, I just curled in on myself and braced for it…just in case.
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“But…I know that you’re still healing. I was going to give these to you after the concert. But then you got shot, and even after that, you were still recovering. I wanted to make sure things were slightly calm again before going through with it. Now, I know it’s a big decision and I completely understand if you don’t feel comfortable-OOF!!!”
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Before I could even react, I was pushed backwards, fully wrapped up in a giant hug.
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“MIchael! What are you-”
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“I’ll do it… I’ll sign…”
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With just those five words, I found myself struggling to find a response. My heart was racing and I couldn’t even tell if I heard him right.
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“You… You mean-”
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“I want to sign! I want to be your son!”
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For a moment, I was still paralyzed. My rapidly wagging tail was the first part of me to move before I practically dove into him.
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My son! MY SON! MY SON!
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“OH, MICHAEL!!!!”
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I couldn’t contain myself. I hugged. I squeezed. I nuzzled. I licked. I kissed. I held…my son. MY! SON! And soon, not even a government official would be able to say otherwise.
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And then…as if I needed any more confirmation. He uttered four more words. Just four. Four words that I’d never heard him say before, at least not together, and not toward me. Still, hearing him say those four words…the last time I remember being that happy…was when my Tohba was born.
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“I love you, Mom…”
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Did he just call us…?
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Mom… Mom… MOM MOM MOM MOM MOM!!! HE CALLED US MOM!!!
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“I love you so much, my joey! Mama loves you so, so, so much! Never forget that.”
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“Mom…”
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Our lovely, perfect moment was then interrupted by the only thing that could’ve made it more perfect. A small, adorable yawn came from the small crib behind us.
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“Mama…? Whad goin’ on?”
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I turned to see Tohba peeking through the bars at us. It appeared our little moment had woken him from his nap.
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“Hmmm… Tell me, Michael. Now that things seem like they’re becoming official, is there anything you’d like to say to young Tohba as well?”
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“\sniff** Yeah… I think there is…”
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I watched with bated breath as Michael walked over and plucked Tohba from his crib, before sitting next to me. Tohba, for his part, looked really worried, probably because we were both complete sobbing messes.
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“Mikey zhad?”
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“No, Bud. I’m not sad. I’m happy, happier than I’ve been in a long time.”
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Tohba didn’t seem entirely convinced yet. He only seemed to get more worried when Michael composed himself and took on a somewhat serious tone.
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“Bud? There’s something REALLY important you need to know. So, I need you to listen real close, okay?”
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Tohba’s fear only seemed to grow. The last time Michael said something like that was when he left for Twilight Valley.
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“Tohba… You…are the BEST…baby brother a guy like me could ever ask for. You hear me? The BEST…”
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Tohba’s fear and worry seemed to go away for the most part, only to be replaced with partial confusion.
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“Mikey…bwudhew…?”
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We both almost broke again just from that one, adorable word. Michael was quick to confirm it, nodding frantically as he tried to hold it together.
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“That’s right… And your big brother, Mikey loves you SO much, Tohba. SO…much… More than you’ll ever know…”
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“Mikey…beeg bwudhew…”
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Tohba seemed to take a moment to think, trying to truly comprehend the words he just said. Once he understood however, it was impossible to hide his excitement. His tiny tail became a blur behind him as his eyes lit up with glee. Before he could react, Tohba used his still developing hind legs to launch himself into Michael’s face.
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“BEEG BWUDHEW!!!!”
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“OH, JEEZ!”
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In a flash, Michael was knocked onto his back, laughing as Tohba licked and nuzzled every inch of his face.
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“MIKEY BEEG BWUDHEW! MAMA! MIKEY BEEG BWUDHEW!!!!”
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That was it. That was what finally broke me. I sobbed openly and clapped as my Tohba shared the amazing news with me. Mikey IS beeg bwudhew.
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Once his energy had wound down, Tohba saw fit to simply snuggle into Michael’s arms, letting out a long, contented sigh, as if anything that could’ve possibly been wrong in his tiny, perfect world had been made right again.
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“Wuv you, Mikey… Wuv you Beeg Bwudhew…”
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“I love you too, Bud. I love you so much.”
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I couldn’t hold back any longer. I rushed forward…and held my boys in my arms. And in this one…perfect moment, I could only think one thing.
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I love my boys. I love my family. I love my life.
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Next

Special thanks to u/SpacePaladin15 for creating the NoP universe.
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I'd also like to thank u/xskipy10 for their awesome fanart of the main cast as well as their recent Tohba meme and their fanart of Michael baysitting. You're work is a treasure!
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Thank you as well to u/Accomplished-Golf-59 for his take on Michael, Teylim, and Tohba in his submission for the Banner Art Contest, and u/Spacer_Catgirl4969 for their awesome music video featuring a pixel-art Dohkar in his bar. Be sure to give ALL of these awesome creators your love and support.
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And let's not forget u/Guywhoexists2812 who has been an awesome source of memes as well as sick pixel art, such as THIS and THIS!!!! And even THIS!!!!!! And how could I forget THIS!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!
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Today, we join Dohkar and Davids as they continue the hunt for Albiel, and we have the final confrontation between father and son. And Bennic finally decides what side he's on. LETTUCE...continue...
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First
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Previous
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Songs Mentioned/Used: Fire by Barns Courtney
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Memory Transcript Subject: Patient T-143, Yotul Refugee Sponsor Date:[Standardized Human Time] January 16, 2137
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That was Michael! It HAD to be!
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There was no mistaking it. That was my joey’s voice. And it tore a swath through this building. I couldn’t hear the guards outside my cell anymore. Either they ran off, or the sheer sound alone was enough to knock them unconscious. Either way, it gave me hope. And as I began hearing gunfire in the distance, slowly getting closer, my heart surged.
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This was it. This was my chance. Whoever these attackers were, there was no way Michael, Khornel, and Tohba coming over the loudspeakers at the same time as the attack was a coincidence. This was a raid! They were here to clear the place out and save the patients here! They were here to save me…
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I hopped up and grabbed onto the barred window of my holding cell. I wasn’t even close to strong enough to get this door open, but perhaps one of the raiders were.
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“HEEEEEYYYYY!!! HEEEEEELLLPPP!!! OVER HEEERRRREEE!!!!”
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I listened as my voice echoed down the halls and corridors, waiting for a response. When none came, I waited for the sound to completely dissipate, and tried again.
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“HELLOOOOOOOO!!!!! PLEASE!!! ANYONE!!!!! HEEEEEELLLPPP!!!!”
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Once again, I listened to my voice bounce from wall to wall, echoing through the building, waiting for any kind of response…
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^{“TEYLIM?!” TEYLIM, IS THAT YOU?!”}
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My heart soared as tears of relief built in my eyes. It was faint from just how far away it was, I knew that voice anywhere!
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Dohkar…
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“YES!!!! DOHKAR, IT’S ME!!! I’M HERE!!!”
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I began hearing footsteps echoing through the halls, getting closer to my cell. He was so close. Dohkar found me. He’d get me out, and then we could leave this place and find my joeys. It was almost over.
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The footsteps were so close now. I could barely contain my excitement as I let go of the bars and landed back on the ground. I waited with baited breath as the steps arrived just outside. But…something was wrong… Those footsteps sounded a lot…heavier than a Venlil’s should…
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The door opened, and the first thing I noticed…was the tall, menacing figure’s singular, sharpened, horn…
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“Y-you’re not Dohkar…”
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Memory Transcript Subject: Dohkar, Venlil Bartender Date:[Standardized Human Time] January 16, 2137
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“Yeesh, the kid’s got some pipes, I’ll give him that.”
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Davids and I were the only ones remaining from Squad 1. Chavez and our medic were the only others, and they were on their way back to the APC. We were on our own now, but seeing the complete and utter devastation of the Guild’s forces didn’t make that much of an issue. Occasionally we’d find one that was still conscious, but they were completely deaf from not getting their headset off quick enough.
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“Yeah. Let’s keep moving. We still have a job to finish. Is there still interference keeping us from contacting Squad 2?”
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Davids held a finger to his earpiece.
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“Squad 2, this is 1-1 Sargent Davids, over.”
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I listened in on my own ear piece. We were getting nothing but static.
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Come on, Tevis.
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“Squad 2, respond! This is 1-1 Sargent Davids. We are two men down and require assistance, over.”
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For a moment, there was still nothing but static, until a haggered, pained, voice crackled through.
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“This is Tevis. I read you Squad 1…”
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“What the hell happened?! We lost contact with you as soon as we began the attack!”
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“We were hit right away. Lost half my squad in the initial confrontation.”
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“What’s your status?”
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“Alive, but I’m the only one left. I found my original team…or…what’s left of them… But I’ve got the data we needed. Objective Complete.”
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The grim tone in his voice said it all. They must’ve found something they REALLY weren’t supposed to.
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“I’m aborting the mission. Even if we do manage to capture Albiel, there’s no way we’d be able to clear the facility with just the three of us. Meet back at the staging area where I’ll get back in contact with Magistrate Intellegence and request reinforcements.”
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“We can’t just leave! Not when we’re so close!”
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“We’re retreating. That’s an order, Dohkar.”
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My free paw clenched itself into a fist. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Everywhere around us, the defenses were crumbling. Anyone who could possibly have gotten in our way was either dead, unconscious, or deaf. We had this! There was no reason NOT to continue.
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Davids gave me a sympathetic look. He was a soldier, and he knew orders were orders. Still, I made a promise! I promised those pups, those pups who managed to wipe out an entire Guild Office’s worth of exterminators from half a town away, that I’d return and bring back Clem and-
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^{“HEEEEEYYYYY!!! HEEEEEELLLPPP!!! OVER HEEERRRREEE!!!!”}
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“Teylim?”
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Protect the herd!
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My ears perked up, and my senses were brought up to full alert.
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“Dohkar, what did you say?”
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“I…I thought I heard-“
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^{“HELLOOOOOOOO!!!!! PLEASE!!! ANYONE!!!!! HEEEEEELLLPPP!!!!”}
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“TEYLIM!”
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PROTECT THE HERD!!!
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My ears were on swivels, desperately trying to pinpoint the direction the voice was coming from. Once I’d narrowed it down, I took a few steps and cupped my paws around my snout as I shouted back.
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“TEYLIM?!” TEYLIM, IS THAT YOU?!”
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“Dohkar, what are you doin-“
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“Quiet!”
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I focused on my hearing as much as I could. Odds are, I’d probably get a decent chewing out for talking back to a superior officer, but if I found Teylim, it would be worth it. I listened as hard as I could.
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^{“YES!!!! DOHKAR, IT’S ME!!! I’M HERE!!!”}
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Protect the herd!!!
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My mind immediately raced, trying to remember what was in that direction. My mind slowly formed a layout of the building until-
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THE TEMPORARY HOLDING CELLS!!
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“Davids! Hostage located! It’s Teylim!”
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“You’re sure?!”
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“Positive! She’s that way!”
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“Dohkar! Davids! What are you-?”
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“We’ve got a location on one of the hostages. We’re going after her!”
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“Negative! I gave you direct orders to-“
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Before I could respond, Davids did it for me.
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“All due respect sir, the UN doesn’t follow YOUR orders.”
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“Why you filthy pre-“
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The signal cut off and Davids shouldered his rifle.
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“Come on. We’ve still got hostages to save.”
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I gave a thankful nod and we sprinted towards the holding cells. Tevis could run all he wanted, but WE still have a job to do.
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Hang tight, Teylim…
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Passing several other squads of downed exterminators on the way, we eventually made it to the holding cells. These were where we’d temporarily hold suspects until they were ready to be screened. I immediately spotted a pair of officers outside one of the cells, it’s door was wide open.
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“Teylim?”
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I jogged over to the open cell.
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“Teylim?!”
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Nothing. It was completely empty. The only thing that showed that anyone had been here…was a streak of green on the floor…
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[Warning!: Anger Response Spiking Rapidly: Attempting To Compensate…]
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I knelt down and ran a finger across the streak. It was fresh. She was here…and someone had hurt her…enough to draw blood. The only other clue I found were a few white hairs speckled with blue blood. Fissan fur…
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Albiel…
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I didn’t need to look anymore. I knew exactly who did this, and exactly where he would go.
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“It’s your call, Sarge…”
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“We finish the mission…and save the hostages.”
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I led the way. The Chief’s office wasn’t far. A right turn here. A left turn there. And then a long hallway with the office at the very end.
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Once the door to his office was inside, Davids and I both picked up the pace. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that he was waiting for us. I knew my father. This was a test. He knew I’d go after Teylim. He wanted me to chase him.
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“This is probably a trap!”
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“Definitely!”
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Once we made it to the door, we stacked up, both taking a side. Davids raised his hand and began silently counting down.
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Five…
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Four…
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Three-
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BANG!!!
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The door flew open and an arm holding a sidearm shot out fired at Davids. Before I could even see what became of him, that same arm ripped me inside the room before I could react.
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SLAM!!!
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Before I could catch my bearings, I was yanked into the air and flung across the room, slamming over the desktop and landing roughly on the floor behind it.
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Getting ragdolled like that brought back all sorts of unpleasant memories, but I did my best to shake myself loose from them. Disarmed, I went for the human pistol holstered to my hip and stood to aim at my attacker.
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“Oh, I wouldn’t if I were you.”
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“Dohkar!”
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Albiel…
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My grip on my weapon tightened and I could feel my teeth chipping as they ground against each other in rage.
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There he was, the symbol of everything wrong with The Guild. The Chief. My father. Albiel. In one paw, he held Teylim, beaten, green dripping from the side of her mouth, and a patient shock collar around her neck. In the other paw, he held the remote for it.
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“Let. Her. Go.”
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“You never fail to disappoint me, Dohkar. You AND those failures of a squad you called your brothers.”
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Bennic?
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Did he hurt them too?
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“Every time I think the bar couldn’t be any lower, you still somehow manage.”
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His fur was matted and disheveled, and there was an outright manic look in his eyes. The only thing about him that was still prim and orderly was that damned horn, still and shiny and sharp as ever. Bennic was right. He really had lost it.
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“ALL of this could’ve been yours one paw, Dohkar! Everything I’ve done! EVERYTHING I’ve built! I did so in the name of finding someone worthy enough to pass it all on to. I found you, along with the rest of your incompetent squad in a damned GUTTER! I gave you a home, a purpose, and THIS is how you all repay me?! Failure! Betrayal! Disappointment! And for WHAT?! ‘People’ like THIS?!”
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His grip around Teylim’s neck tightened. I felt myself breaking apart as she shrieked in his grip.
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“Dohkar, plea-“
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“SILENCE, SAVAGE!!”
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I tried aiming my weapon once he was distracted, but he quickly noticed and held up the remote. With a chuff, he regained a facsimile of his usual self, the mask he kept on to hide the madness I always knew was there.
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“Even after you left, you continue to disappoint me at every turn: Cavorting about with primitives and predators far below your station, opening up that filthy excuse of a watering hole, so you could spend even MORE time with the mindless gutter trash that INFESTS this town?! Even when my expectations for you could not have been any lower, ALL you had to do…was STAY. AWAY Just look good for the ‘people’, continue on being the former ‘legend’ that everyone moron in this town believed you to be, and keep your noseless shout OUT of our business. But you couldn’t even do THAT, could you?! How I saw ANY potential in you in the first place continues to elude me.”
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I didn’t respond, continuing to let him talk himself to death. Any moment now, David’s would break through that door, and I’d have my chance. I continued to just stare, only taking the occasional glance towards Teylim.
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“Buuuut no matter. I’ll just have to start again. I’ll find a new backwater town, with just as neglectful management. I’ll find other downtrodden youths more than willing to stay loyal if it means a roof over their heads and food in their stomachs. I’ll build it all up again. And you…well…maybe you’ll surprise me and survive long enough to see it.”
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“No. It stops here. I won’t let you take advantage of anyone else.”
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“Oh? What are you going to do? Shoot me with your primitive space ape gun? We BOTH know you won’t risk hitting HER.”
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He lifted Teylim closer to him, using her as a shield. My paws began to shake.
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“Now here’s what’s going to happen. You are going to stand by and watch as I take my leave. And if you try to stop me, I’ll not only reunite this wretch with her mate, but I’ll be sure to find their tainted SPAWN as well, and take extra time in coming up with a creative end for him. Who knows? He might make for a decent recruit after all.”
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“Dohkar!”
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“Teylim…”
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My mind went from plan to plan, idea to idea, finding no solution that wouldn’t end with Teylim getting killed. Even if I adjusted my aim, he’d just activate the collar before I could pull the trigger. I was also out of time for stalling.
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“Dohkar! I need…you…to promise me…”
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My eyes focused back on Teylim. Trails of tears flowed down her cheeks as her teeth clenched. At that moment, I knew exactly what she’d say. This was it. These were Lohrek’s last moments, before Albiel killed him… He made me make a promise, too.
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No. Not again.
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“Promise me… Whatever happens…watch over my joeys… Michael… Tohba… Protect them…”
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No. No. No. Not again. Please not again.
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“I…I…”
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“PLEASE, DOHKAR! They’re all I have… Please… Promise me…that you’ll protect them…”
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Every last part of me shook and shivered. I couldn’t find words to express the horror I was feeling, watching the death of my best friend play in front of me again, almost verbatim. So instead, I said what I wish I could’ve said to Loh.
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“Like they were my very own pups.”
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She forced a pained smile as Albiel’s grip loosened for just a moment.
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“Well isn’t that precious? A mother’s love truly does run eternal. …Perhaps THAT was the missing piece. How might YOU all have turned out if you’d had a mother as well. Food for thought-“
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“GYYYYAAAARRRGH!!!!!”
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Albiel’s speech was interrupted as the Yotul he was holding shrieked out, twisting her head to the side and clamping her jaws onto his arm, causing blue to spurt out from around her teeth.
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“GAAAAAHHH!!! VICIOUS BEAST!!!”
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I watched in shock as with one massive swing of his arm, he shook Teylim off and sent her slamming into the wall with a sickening slap.
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“TEYLIM!!!!!”
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PROTECT THE HERD!!!
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I raised my weapon. While I could’ve ended him right then and there, my only concern was the remote in his paw that he was pointing in her direction.
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BANG!!!
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Another splatter of blue, another shriek of pain from Albiel, and the remote was sent, sparking and nonfunctional, to the ground.
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Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him make a break for it through the door, but my focus was entirely on Teylim. I slid down to the ground beside her and cradled her in my arms.
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“Teylim! TEYLIM!!”
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She was unresponsive. One of her legs had definitely been broken from the hit and while I could feel a pulse, it was weak
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I turned on my ear piece and hoped it still worked.
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“Medic!!! I need a medic in the Chief’s office! One soldier and one hostage critically injured!!! Medic!!!”
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While I waited for a response, I went back to trying to rouse Teylim.
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“Teylim! Wake up! Please!”
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Still…nothing… She was getting weaker. I could feel it.
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“Please, Teylim… You can’t leave us yet. We still need you. Your pups NEED you, you hear me? BOTH of them! Michael… Tohba… They need their mother. And…”
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For the first time in a long time…I felt the old sting of tears build up in my eyes. They flowed down my face is thin streaks as I held one of the only friends I had left in my arms, pressing my head against hers.
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“I need you, too… So please… Wake up…”
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There was a moment of nothing but silence, before she took in a faint, raspy, gasp of air.
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I reeled back in shock as her limbs finally moved, clinging onto me. Her chest convulsed as she coughed and sputtered, before finally, her eyes winced open, meeting mine.
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“Doh..kar…?”
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I couldn’t speak. My mind refused to create the right words for the relief I felt as I pulled her in, holding her close.
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“Wow… Hehe… Never thought…I’d see the day YOU cried… HeheOH stars, it hurts to laugh…”
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I pulled back and wiped at my face.
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“I’m getting you out of here.”
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Finally, right on queue, I heard multiple people enter the room. I turned and saw a pair of UN medics come in with a stretcher.
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“We heard your request for a medic!”
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“Here! Help her!”
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“On it!”
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As we got to work getting Teylim on the stretcher, I noticed there were only two.
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“What about Davids?”
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One of the medics gave me a sympathetic look before shaking his head.
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Damnit…
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Suddenly, I realized something. These medics… They weren’t ones that we’d left at the staging area…
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“Wait. Aren’t you two supposed to still be at the bar?”
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“We were needed to help care for the rescued patients. The staging area’s already being turned into a field hospital for all of them.”
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I was…confused… We didn’t get to clearing out the facility yet. And as far as I knew, Tevis had already retreated back outside.
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“What? But we didn’t-“
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“That would be my handiwork, Dohkar.”
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A voice crackled through the radio. It wasn’t Tevis, Mike, or anyone else I’d have expected to hear. It was…
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“Ben?”
Memory Transcript Subject: Officer Bennic, Senior Extermination Officer Date:[Standardized Human Time] January 16, 2137
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Madness…
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Pointless, directionless madness…
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I slowly made my way down the hall to just one of the many treatment rooms in the facility, my squad mates at my side, doing my best to not let what I saw in Chief’s office get to me.
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Though, now that I thought about it, it made perfect sense. How willing he was to stand by in his code little room in the back of the building while the rest of us fought and died.
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The perfect shields and distractions…
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Don’t think… Just do… Follow orders…
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We believed in The Guild. We believed in HIM. That’s how we were raised, after all. It’s how we all were. Albiel always DID prefer to recruit young. All the easier to mold into what he wanted.
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Obedient little soldiers…just like me…
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Don’t think… Just do… Follow orders…
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I walked through the door. I remembered when we were shown these rooms the first time. “A necessary evil”, it was called. We didn’t like it, especially Dohkar. He was always stronger than us. Sometimes I wonder…
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Don’t think… Just do… Follow orders…
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There are two chairs in the room. The door to the rest of the facility, particularly the holding cells, had a line out the door of prisoners and patients. All waiting for the inevitable.
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Don’t think… Just do… Follow orders…
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The door was guarded. Two of the younger officers who’d been assigned this post for a while now. One remained focused, while the other constantly kept glancing at the rears of any female patient he could see. Even now, after we found out what he would do in his spare time, he never received punishment.
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Don’t think… Just do… Follow orders…
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I looked to the two patients already strapped to their chairs. In the left one, an elderly Venlil, a soldier if I remember right. He served this planet, and served it proudly, and paid the price with his eyesight. Is THIS what all those years of service has earned him?
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Don’t think… Just do… Follow orders…
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In the right, a Gojid female. She was only a pup when she was first brought here. She was adorned with two large burn scars. One that covered her entire forearm from a flamer burning her. The other wrapped around her neck, a permanent reminder of the collar that had been placed around it. What does a child do to deserve a life like this, I wonder.
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Don’t think… Just do… Follow orders…
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“Mr. Clem…?”
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“It will be alright, child. I promise.”
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“I don’t wanna! I don’t wanna get hurt again!”
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The elder faces in my direction, his glassy eyes filled with nothing but hatred. I have a clue about who he is, but just to be sure…
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“You’re Clem? You’re the one that helped Dohkar when he left The Guild, right?”
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“Why are you doing this?’ What did we do?! You can’t just punish us without giving us a reason!”
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If only he knew…
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“This…isn’t a punishment… The Guild is under attack. Under direct orders by Extermination Chief Albiel, I am to oversee the scuttling of the facility, including the evacuation of staff, deletion of data…and termination of prisoners…”
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The glassy eyes of the blind old man, glared white-hot daggers into my very being.
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“You monsters! Dohkar really was right about you lot! You’re not protectors! You’re just murderers!”
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He’s right…
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Don’t think… Just do… Follow orders…
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Those are my orders. While my fellow officers fight and die just to buy time, while my Chief, my father hides away in his office, making deals and planning HIS escape, I cover up what we should never have been doing in the first place.
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Don’t think… Just do… Follow orders…
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One of the doctors begins charging the machine. It whirs to life, sending the Gojid into hysterics. She knows what these chairs do, as do I…
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Don’t think…
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It’ll kill them…
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Just do…
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Just like it killed so many others before…
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Follow orders…
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…
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Unfortunately…I don’t feel like following orders.
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Without even NEEDING to think. I pull a sidearm from my holster, followed by my squad: Abra, Canuck, and Ento. My brothers. Among all the other officers in our branch, We were all recruited together, with Dohkar as our leader. When he left, we all stayed, but I did my best to fill his place.
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So when I draw my weapon, the others do as well.
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BANG!! BABANG!!! BANG!! BANG!!!
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The doctor falls. The two guards fall. And the generator fueling the chairs sparks and dies. We unstrap the two from the chair and do our best to calm the patients.
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“Wha-? What are you-?”
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“For the first time in my life, doing my job. Now then, would an old soldier be willing to help me get these people organized and out of here?”
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With more than a little hesitation, especially from the young Gojid girl, the two walked over to the other patients and began talking them down.
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So, with me leading the way, letting the soldier and his cellmate ride in my back, we began to lead the line of patients toward the emergency exit, opening every cell along the way.
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Don’t think… Just do…
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It wasn’t easy. Many didn’t trust me, others were simply too out of it or just plain damaged to come out on their own, but with the coaxing of more of true or own, we’d add them to our long caravan.
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There was only one we didn’t find…
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Jerrik…
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Memory Transcript Subject: Dohkar, Venlil Bartender Date:[Standardized Human Time] January 16, 2137
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“Ben?”
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“You’re clear, Dohkar. The patients are already at the staging area getting triaged and sorted by Canuck. The other UN soldiers here have already called for the medics and volunteers to come and help.”
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I felt my heart warm as I heard Ben’s speaking. This wasn’t the old, beaten, Surulian still subservient to Albiel. This was my brother, my brother who is not truly seen for a long, long time. And he wasn’t alone.
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“Canuck? Does that mean that Ento and Abra are there, too?”
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“Copy that, commander!”
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“Yeah…we’re here…I guess…”
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Guys…
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My brothers. My whole damn squad from training. My brothers who were taken with me. They were all there, helping how they could.
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“How does it feel being on the right side again?”
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“Like we’ve still got a LOT of work to do. And so do YOU. Go, Dohkar. We’ll handle things out here… Take. Him. Down…for all of us…”
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…For all of us…
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Protect the herd!
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The signal cut out. I gave one last look to my friend on the stretcher. I didn’t need to look at the two medics.
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“Tell me you have her.”
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“We have her.”
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Teylim gave me a weak smile and a nod.
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“Go. Finish this.”
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I turned, and ran. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. And then, a familiar tune came to my mind. A promise I’d made the last time I left this wretched building.
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A promise to burn everything my father built.
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LORD, GIMME THAT FIRE!!!!
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I ran.
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LORD, GIMME THAT FIRE!!!!
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I chased.
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LORD, GIMME THAT FIRE!!!!
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I raced to finally put his madness to an end.
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BURN!!!! BURN!!!! BURN!!!!
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Memory Transcript Subject: Patient J-902, Nevok Predator Disease Patient Date:[Standardized Human Time] January 16, 2137
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I hid. I saw the others get let out and huddled together in a line. I knew the room they were being led to, so I hid.
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I heard the roar of the predator through the speaker in my cell. I heard the screams of the guards. I heard the shots being fired.
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My door opens. Many of the other ones opened, too. I peek around the doorway to make sure it’s safe. And it is.
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**Nowhere is safe.**It’s so much brighter now. Now that I’m finally out of the cell. I can think clearly again. And with clarity, came pretty much everything I wished had stayed forgotten.
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I failed. I couldn’t go through with it. And as punishment, I was locked away.
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Father…
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I fell to my knees and cried. Cried like a damn pup, just like I did when I begged him not to lock me in here.
​
Father…
​
I did EVERYTHING else right! I followed the training. I followed the beliefs. I did everything he told me to do! But still, he…
​
Father…
​
[Warning!: Anger Response Rising Steadily…]
​
I looked up. Above the cells, above the walkways, above all of this damned facility, was one window. HIS office…
​
Father…
​
“This way everyone! Stay together!”
​
I snap my attention towards a large group approaching my direction. I COULD go with them. I COULD go back outside…but…there’s something I have to do first.
​
As I make my way to the electroshock chamber, I spot the dead guards and doctor. I spot one of their weapons on the ground, and pick it up.
​
Just like my training, just as HE instructed me. The predator has been smoked out, fleeing from his hole out into the open. All that was left…
​
Was for someone to take the shot…
​
Next

I just visited QU and this is exactly what you need.
You need a health certificate to be done. Preferably in a government health center since if you go to a government health center they will automatically send the results to the ministry and then QU can straight away look at your results without needing to sending it to them personally.
Your high school transcripts must be the official ones. I’m talking proper certificates with grades on them. No copies printed on paper or whatever, they want official shit that you get from your exam board! Even if they are signed by your principal, copies won’t be accepted. Get official documents. You should probably also have a printed copies/copies of you grades since according to them you can show them your official grades certificate and then after you show them the original one they can just take the copy of the certificate and you can keep your official documents to yourself. I showed them my predicted grades which were done by our school advisor and they were official but they were still sooo skeptical when I showed it to them. Those guys thought I edited it or something 💀. They don’t play around! The predicted grade transcript must be done and written by one teacher (such as your advisor) since the hand writing MUST be consistent.
Send the SAT results after applying and NOT before (I know it says to send SAT and IELTS results before applying in the website but that is not true). To send the IELTS test results you can either go to British council which is a pain in the ass + you may have to pay for them to send your results depending on how long ago you did your results orrrrrr you can do what you are recommended to do which is wait until you receive an email after you have applied that has your QU application number (this email may take up to 10 days to send). Once you get your application number you can send the IELTS exam results via the QU website which is FREE to do!

Disclaimer: I have to shorten the words on this one because the chapter had gone on for to long and stole the word count limit. Every person in this section has my deepest and most sincere thanks for the art, memes, and love they have shown my series.
Thank you to: for proofreading, editing, and this art. Check his fic here!
u/Talentlessfurry for this art.
u/Roddcherry for adding Novel to the charismas party he drew.
u/everyveryever for this art.
u/Emotion-Senior for the meme.
u/Orphandestroyer99 for the comic and art.
u/abrachoo for the meme.
u/guaiwutongzhi for the art.
u/United_Patriots for the art.
u/migulehove for the art(s).
u/aMANTEIGAdo for the art.
u/SlimyRage for the art.
Thank you to each and every one of these amazing people!
CW: Accidental Substance Abuse
Memory Transcription Subject: Novel, Kolshian Scientist and Self-Proclaimed “Gamer God”
Date {standardized human time}: October 19th, 2136
The elevator ride took a lot longer than I would have liked, my excitement and anticipation making it difficult to stand still. Ada’s room was almost at the top floor of the building — along with those of the other members of my herd — making it take a bit longer to get to than most of the other Humans’ I’ve visited while here.
Seems they are keeping the various tribes in their own groups. The fourth floor has the Germans, French, Polish, and Austrians, with a few Danes and Swedes mixed in. I wonder if they did that to keep the different tribes from fighting with ones they don’t like? Doubtful really, everyone seems to get along well enough, disregarding a couple jabs here and there. Probably just makes geographical sense to put them together.
My pondering was broken with a soft ding of the old elevator doors opening. I stepped out of the elevator quickly and took in my surroundings. There were very few humans milling about the quiet halls as they went about their business. One human with comfy-looking pelts had noticed me step out of the elevator and had frozen where they stood. After a short, yet still uncomfortably awkward moment, I gave a wave with one of my upper appendages and walked down a different hall.
A few moments later, I pulled out my pad to look at the message Sindre sent me.
Room 441, hailey and i went to get some stuff for the sesh. ada will be there in a bit. see you soon, {censored}
From: Sindre(Human)
I quickly typed out my own message.
Thank you! I’ll meet you there!
From: Me
Stowing the pad, I made my way there. Along the way I encountered several more Humans, each of which having some sort of reaction to my presence. Mostly just freezing in place or casting glances at me as I walked by. Some of them recognized me, either from when we baked together, or when I was in the rec room when the news dropped and gave me a wave in return. There was one case though when a Terran exited their room, saw me, and let out a noise I can only describe as a squeal before diving back into their room.
That last one confused me to no end, as I had never seen that reaction from a human before. I considered knocking on the door before thinking better of it and continuing down the hall to my destination.
How curious… I'll have to ask Ada about that human and why they ran away from me... Heh, prey scaring predators. Not so long ago, such a concept would’ve been seen as the ultimate goal, any real-world examples derided as only that of a dreamer’s fallacy, and yet now… I don’t think I like the idea so much…
I made a mental note to apologize to them if we ever meet again and kept walking, this time with my form hunched and my pace a little faster than before so I could avoid bothering the Terrans as much. It seemed to work, and the humans seemed to look away a little faster than they had previously.
Arriving at Ada’s door, though, I composed myself as best I could, straightening my back and taking a deep breath to calm myself. I knocked on the door a few times, only for it to open a slight amount. Cocking my head in confusion, I listened to the slight groaning of the hinges before I gently pushed it the rest of the way, the door creaking loudly in resistance.
The room smelled of wax and freshly harvested Othll bark, like I had just walked into the home improvement aisle of a store. Walking further inside showed me the source of the smell, which was a set of candles sitting on top of a nightstand in the corner… next to a fire alarm with the battery taken out.
That’s a little concerning… that can’t be safe at least. I should tell her to put it back in when I see her… wherever she is.
Looking around the room some more showed it to be quite unkempt, with pelts and other junk laying strewn haphazardly across the floor. Personal knick-knacks and picture frames sat on shelves and tables around the room, making the places feel a lot more homely than the other rooms I’d been in. A large TV sat on the other side of the room across from the bed, which had been recently used, going by the blanket on the floor and the pillows tossed about. Against the wall next to the bed was a large couch that had clearly seen better paws, the top layer peeling heavily and scattering the little bits of plastic covering everywhere.
Sitting next to the TV appeared to be some sort of Terran gaming console, complete with bright colors plastered across its many faces and with several different wires coming out of it. Far more than there should be, since part of the case it was in had been smashed to fit more cabling into. Tools, used wires, and broken plastic laid scattered next to the patchwork job.
Seems they really did modify it. Makes sense, since I doubt it would normally work on our systems at all… we should really put that fire alarm back in…
Just as I started walking over to inspect it, my lower tentacle caught something soft on one of the suckers. Looking down showed it to be one of the chest pelts Ada had been wearing the paw I met her. Closer inspection showed the whole floor was covered in discarded pelts, including some I had never seen before!
I let out a sigh as I looked around at the mess… I hope she doesn't mind if I cleaned up a bit.
And that's exactly what I did as I waited for my host to return. It did not take long for me to find the garbage can and hamper she used for her used pelts. While I worked though the piles, I took note of the stranger clothes I saw. Most of them were the regular chest pelts that I’d seen every human wear, but others were completely unique or otherwise somehow unusual.
One such example was what I can only describe as some sort of winter gear? It had a very intricate design on the front made of lace and a very soft interior made of a kind of purple fabric. What made it even more strange was that I found several of these scattered around the room, meaning that she was wearing these pretty regularly too!
Hmmm… perhaps it is meant to keep their ears warm? That would explain the strap on the back, as it would be meant to go under their chin. That doesn’t explain why she would be using it though, and to have so many! It must get cold in here when the A/C kicks in, I guess. This place is really old after all.
Either way, they went into the hamper. I left the tools where they were, in case they belonged to different people, but everything else went straight into the trash. The whole process was pretty exhausting, but the room ended up looking much nicer than it had before!
Just as I finished bagging up the garbage can, the door gave a loud creak as Ada stepped in wearing some pretty comfortable-looking pelts similar to the ones she had been wearing a few paws ago, pink prey head slippers and all.
A few {seconds} pass as she starts pulling out clear totes full of what I assume to be her things before I break out of my confusion and flick her a tail wave.
“Hey Ada! Whe-”
“AAAAHHH!!!”
She screamed as she stumbled onto her back, causing me to drop the bag and jump in fright. We stared at each other for a moment before Ada spoke up.
“Nov’?! What the fuck are you doing in here?! You weren't… ya Allah, you scared the crap out of me!”
My arms and tentacles raised up in a pleading gesture after I realized what I did. “S-sorry! I-I thought you would see me! And Sindre said to meet you here? F-for the games?”
Ada took a few more moments to calm down on the floor, but eventually, she stood up and took a few breaths. “You’re fine, squiddie… Sindre didn’t mention how close you were so… oh well, doesn't matter I guess. Uh, what’s in the bag you got there? Also… where are all of my clothes?”
At her observation, I picked up the trash bag and held it up for her to see. “Well… your room was a bit of a mess, a-and you were gone, so I did a bit of… cleaning? Nothing major, just throwing away some trash and putting the pelts in the hamper.”
“Oh, well, thanks Nov. I was gonna get to that befor-” Suddenly she stops herself mid-sentence. Her eyes widen as she casts her forward-facing gaze over to the pelts’ bin.
For some reason, the human's usual light brown features darken considerably with a crimson bloom. Ada turned to look at me, and I gave my best happy expression I could muster to put her at ease. This time, the human's face twisted into an obvious forced snarl before she gave up, running a hand down her face.
“Novel, j-just a heads up for the future, it’s considered rude to go through someone's room and touch their… pelts without permission. They are, um, quite personal belongings, and we don’t let other people touch certain ones. Fuck, uh, don’t tell the other two about this either. It would be, eugh…” Ada’s snarl gets larger as she looks back to the hamper, the crimson still blooming across her face. My tail flicked curiously as I looked between her and the pelt basket.
How peculiar… Hailey seemed just fine with dumping all sorts of pelts on me when she was showing them off. Perhaps that's because she studies it, so in that case it’s seen as okay? Maybe it has more to deal with how I came in here without her supervision? Predators are known to be territorial in the wild, and the Humans seem to be that way as well with their many borders. Letting someone into your ‘territory’ must be a pretty personal thing in the first place. Which would mean that she must be upset that I just walked in here and started messing with things! Speh!
A tentacle reached out, or up I suppose, to Ada’s shoulder while my tail signaled my sincerest apologies. “I-I am so sorry, Ada. If I knew, I would have never touched anything! Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone! Do you want me to… put it back the way I found it?”
The human seemed to find my appeasement worthy as she let out a quiet laugh. “No, Nov’, you’re just fine. Thanks for cleaning up too, I guess; I was gonna do it myself, but oh well… not something we need to talk about.” She lets out another laugh as she walks over to the modified console and grabs a controller.
Yet, before she could get a word out, there was a sharp knock on the door, followed by it swinging open to reveal the last two members of our herd. Sindre came in first, carrying several different bags filled to the brim with snacks of all varieties. He gave a simple head nod and rushed over to the table by the TV to deposit his haul, dropping a few on the floor in his haste.
Hailey walked in right behind him with a plastic grocery bag over her shoulder filled with many different colored bottles of drink and a tray of small dark-brown squares covered in plastic wrap. Her free hand gave us both a wave while she walked to the table in a much calmer manner, at least when compared to her compatriot.
We both gave our own wave in return while I spoke up. “Hey guys! Welcome! What did you get from the kitchen?”
Hailey set her things down on the table. “Not much. Some dried fruit, chips, cookies, soda, juice, and even some fresh brownies someone made! I assumed they were for the taking since they had a few trays sitting out to cool down, but we didn’t really have time to ask since we kinda rushed up here. Oh, and the kitchen stinks to high hell for some reason. Might have to tell Emmanual about that.”
My head tilted curiously at the information as Ada and Sindre moved the couch over to where I was standing. Once it was in place, I took a seat at the opposite end from Hailey. “Well, I’m glad you got what you wanted! Do you mind if I take one of those, uh, brownies?”
She gave me a hand wave as I reached over and undid the plastic wrap around the treats. They were still quite warm from the kitchen! I took a small bite out of the corner to get a taste of it, only to then gobble up the whole thing in one bite.
This is amazing! It’s like strayu but… richer? With an almost cough medicine aftertaste mixed with that strange spice? Such a strange and yet fascinating combination!
“Such a weird taste… but definitely a good one! Are there any more downstairs?” I asked while covering my mouth as best I could for the sake of manners.
She took one herself and took a small bite. “Yep, at least a couple more trays from what we saw. Though I bet most of those will be gone once word gets around.”
My head nodded solemnly as I picked up another.
Might as well enjoy them while we can!
Ada walked over to me and flicked the space in between my eyes with her fingers. Her other hand passed me a human game controller before taking a seat right next to me. “Save some for us, ya green goblin! Pretty sure we’re meant to share those!”
The humans let out a soft chuckle while my face warmed in embarrassment. Luckily, they didn’t stay focused on it for long before she pointed to the controller. “So, do you need help with that? It’s not exactly built for you.”
Moving it around in my appendages was more than enough to prove that fact, but I tried to give her a dismissive tail wave while sitting down. “Don’t worry… I should be able to make this work…” I said while using all four of my limbs to hold the piece of plastic. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but it’ll do the job for now.
“Not the first time I had to do this. There are a lot of different species on Aafa, and some of them have very strange, uh, manipulators… you just have to get used to it.”
There may not have been a lot, or really any other species in my home town, but that college certainly did. Me and Cloyta used to hang out with a few different herds whenever we had the time. That Tilfish remote was an interesting experience to use. Having to use smells to figure out a puzzle in a game like it was normal was really something else.
The TV and console suddenly turned on with a bright flash as Sindre held out a remote towards them both. He used his controller to navigate to a menu on the system to reveal a vast collection of Human games. I grabbed my pad out of my pack to translate some of the games as Sindre scrolled by.
Doom of Kevsar, Helldivers: Super Dating Simulator, Papa’s Pizzeria, Skyrim 2… all these seem fine, I guess. At least not super violent like I thought… A good sign!
Sindre spoke up first as he continued to look through the archive. “Anyway, we were talking the other day about which game to show you first, but we couldn’t agree on what would be the best showcase. So instead of one game voted in from all of us, we are each going to show you a game we think you’ll like best. Sounds good?”
My tail thumped against the back of the couch in acceptance. “Yup! That actually sounds really great! Get to see a wider spectrum of human ‘entertainment!’ Who’s going first?”
“Sindre is…” Hailey speaks up in between bites of her confection, “His system, his pick… still think it’s a dumb fucking game though.” He says as he stops his scrolling and arrives at a very brightly colored preview with several… Humans? Human-like creatures in what look like Dossur vehicles?
He presses a button to select the game as a grin grows on his face. “Hey, Mario Kart Galaxy 3 is a classic! You’re just mad because you’re bad at it.” Sindre turns his head to me while Hailey leans forward. “You’ll love it, I swear. Really shows off the real Humanity we have to hide from you guys.”
“That's for a good reason, you dolt. But it’s your choice…” Hailey said while wiping her hands on a napkin.
I hoped he was right as some cheerful music started playing.
{Memory Transcription Time Advancement: 19 Terran standard minutes…}
Sindre was right! This is fun!
The upbeat music continues to play as I make another turn around a corner, drifting a little to build up some momentum. The ‘Birdo’ creature in my ‘Kart’ does a little dance as I time it right and get a small speed boost, sending me further down the multi-colored track.
“Hmmhmmmhm, hmhmhmm~.” I tried my best to hum along to the music as I continued with the race.
I never would have thought that a racing game could be interesting. Cloyta and I played a few when we were much younger, but they seemed slow in comparison. Usually had a goal at the end as well, like delivering some fruits to a market, or maybe trading on spacefaring merchant vessels in the more complex ones.
It was super fun though! Competing against each other felt a little off, but I wrote it off as a Human cultural thing. A way of bonding, as with most things for them it seems. Other than that, I found the racing to be a lot of fun! There was so much going on, and yet it somehow managed to really keep you aware of everything going on at all times.
A projectile here, a fruit peel trap there, there was so much to think about that I almost forgot to pay attention to the humans! Which, if I weren’t here to study them, might have been a good thing. There were times the competitive nature of the game seemed to draw something else out of them, something I hadn’t expected.
It was… well…
“If I run into one more fucking banana, I will kick you down a flight of stairs and jump on your head from the top step!”
“How the hell did that hit ME!? Broken fucking hitboxes in this shitty ass game!”
“GET YOUR CRUSTY TOAD ASS OFF ME BEFORE I RIP YOU ASSHOLE TO ASSHOLE!!!”
…intense.
My enjoyment of the game seemed to be pretty one-sided unfortunately. Even by the already high standards of the Humans’ previous banter, this was truly something else. While I was still learning the game and slowly climbed up the leaderboard, the Humans all led the herd by taking the top 3 spots every time. They were so close together in some of the races that it was nearly impossible to tell who would win until the last moment, making their yelling even more vicious and bloodthirsty.
There were times I thought they were about to get physically violent with each other once it got to the final lap, but thankfully, it never came to that, aside from maybe some light pushing. Their… banter? Fighting? Uh… verbal abuse towards each other made learning the game a lot harder too since every time I tried to ask a question, my voice would get drowned out in all the yelling. They did show me the basic controls before we started, but it’s a little hard to ask for pointers when your coaches are threatening severe bodily harm against each other.
As I drifted around another sharp turn, my mind wandered back to what Sindre said when we’d first started:
‘Really shows off the real Humanity we have to hide from you guys.’
Was this supposed to be the ‘real Humanity’? I sure hope not… I think I’d prefer if they actually came to blows instead of continuing this barrage of foulness they are constantly spewing. They don’t even seem to be enjoying it! They have to be doing it for a reason… right?
I continued to think as I continued down the track and finished my second lap. The argument was starting to build up again as the stakes started to rise.
“Oh, yeah, of course you get a red shell in 2nd and I get fucking bananas in 3RD! Gotta love this piece of shit game!!” Hailey shouted, leaning forward like she was about to pounce on the TV.
“Not my fault you can’t aim for shit, dumbass! Just throw better!” Sindre quipped back.
“How about I throw you out a five story window?! I mean, I would if your fatass wouldn't snap the floorboards if I tried!” Ada finished it as he gave her an aggressive shove with his shoulder.
Yet, unlike how I expected, she didn’t push back. That's what makes this all so confusing! Each time they antagonize each other, the other person does it back, and they just stop! Their words sound like they mean it to hurt, and their actions reflect that… but they aren’t acting on it.
Hmm… the ‘real Humanity’, huh… Maybe I’m approaching this the wrong way? Something less about who the Humans are, so to speak, but more how they feel? They’ve been awfully emotional in every interaction I’ve ever had with them… Aggressive, too, admittedly. Maybe… maybe this is a way for them to vent some of that aggression safely? Around people they really trust with a game you can complain about, but demands too much attention to leave them to do more than yell at each other? Things have been rather… stressful, lately.
My tail thumped a few more times against the dilapidated couch, sending a few more puffs of stuffing into the air. The theory kind of lined up with what I knew, but I was here with the primary source for a reason, after all. I would just ask them, but…
“I am going to FUCKING DEEPFRY THAT FUCKING MUSHROOM {Ass Violin}!!!”
They were busy.
They seem pretty angry… but if it helps them deal with their stress, then I am just fine with it. I’m glad they are getting through it in their own… ‘special’ Human way.
In any case, it was still better than damming it all up until it overflowed and someone really got hurt. Safe in the knowledge that the Humans (probably) wouldn’t actually attack each other, I just resolved to focus on the game instead. The third and final lap was coming around, and things were starting to ramp up even further. The Humans’ false violence got even louder, and coupled with the occasional and really rather distracting limb shooting out and the rapidly intensifying music, my poor heart was not in the best condition as our racers closed in on the finish line.
But then, all of a sudden, something very strange happened. The Humans simultaneously began to curse louder than ever before, screaming and wailing as an odd blue indicator flashed along the top of the screen, indicating some kind of blue spiky ball rapidly approaching us from behind. All three of them illogically slammed on the brakes, clearly trying to dodge the oncoming projectile, but it was to no avail. The ball flew right past my ‘Kart’ and struck the center of the tightly crowded humans, unleashing an explosion of blue fire that stunned all three.
Allowing my Kart, driving at maximum speed in hopes of any shot at outrunning the projectile, to shoot right past them and cross the finish line first.
Wait… what?
A brief silence hung in the air at what just happened until my arms went up in the air
“Hey, look! I won! Hehehe! I didn’t know I would get so lucky on my first try! Is that sort of thing… common…?”
I stopped my celebration as all the Humans were giving me very intense looks with their stares. They lacked the familiar friendliness most Humans looked at me with, but instead seemed much… angrier.
Speh, right. They are still mad from before, and now I just beat them at their own race… O-okay, they don’t mean it, they are upset and need to let it out. Just have to get through it.
Seeing what was about to happen, I curled in on myself and braced myself for the barrage of verbal slurry coming my way. A moment passed as I waited for the insults to fly but… they never came? Opening an eye revealed the Human’s expressions had changed from fury to…
Amusement?
“You alright there Nov’? You’re shaking pretty bad… Was that too much?” Ada asked in a quiet voice while patting me on the back roughly. It took a moment for my brain to catch up before I could speak again.
“O-oh, uh, sorry, I thought you all were going to… yell at me? Like you did with each other?” My voice was a little shaky as I unfurled myself.
All of the Germans seemed to wince a little at that. “Yeah… fuck, sorry about that. Mario Kart is a pretty rage-inducing game. Shoulda thought about that beforehand.”
My tail attempted to signal calm while trapped behind me. “N-no, it’s fine… I did learn a lot actually. It was fun too, besides the yelling part. Um, can we move on though? I think I’ve got enough out of this one.”
Sindre exits the game with a nod while the others let out deep sighs. “Yeah, sorry Nov’. It’s one of the most popular party games Humanity ever made, so I figured it would be a good one to show you. Next is… Ada’s pick… we sure we should do this one?”
The woman turned her head to look at Sindre. “Positive. They have a vegan option in the settings, so it’s not going to get us arrested or anything. Plus, it's a cooperative party game! Feds seem to love that whole ‘herd’ thing, and Nov’ liked the last one so I’m sure it’ll be fine!”
She gave a dismissive hand wave before turning back to me. “It’ll be fine, really. I played this game as a kid all the time, no need to panic, right?” She seemed a little worried at the end of that sentence, so I tried to put on a brave face.
“S-sounds great! What’s it about?” I mentally chastised myself for my stutter and reached towards the table to grab another pastry. “Ahem. There’s nothing predatory in it, right?”
She grabs one herself and a glass of an orange fizzy drink. “Nope, none at all! Just some harmless cooking with your friends! You’ll love it!” Her enthusiasm helped me calm down as the game started booting up on screen.
Overcooked 5: Season of Seasoning.
Looks cheerful at least. Cooking is fun too… It’ll be fine, yeah.
I took a bite out of my brownie as the game's main menu music started to play.
{Memory Transcription Time Advancement: 23 Standard Terran Minutes…}
You know… I think I get it.
A soft relaxing track played in the background as the four little chefs on screen ran around doing various tasks needed to keep the kitchen functioning, like preparing vegetables, or washing dishes. A timer at the top of the screen was slowly counting down while a little ‘onion’ next to it with a Human face rambled on about something or other.
Orders start coming in quick, and all of us get to work in a flash… or at least, all of us SHOULD be.
“Can you three stop licking the dust clouds in the vents and actually do something to help me, PLEASE?!”
A trio of Human giggles was my only response as I leaned forward in concentration.
This game. This brahking game. They should use this for testing for intelligence like those quizzes we took back home, since clearly some people go brain dead trying to do literally anything that isn’t getting in my stars-damned way, or otherwise waste valuable time by huffing the gas coming off the stove!
Finishing up one order of seaweed wraps and lettuce salad, I tried to get back to the kitchen, but was immediately blocked by… a plate on the floor.
“WHO-!! Why is there a plate on the floor?! The counter is literally right there! It’s such a simple job to-” A ding rings out, showing several new orders that needed to be filled. The timer started flashing red as we reached the one ‘minute’ mark.
A deep, frustrated growl builds in my throat, causing my Humans to laugh for some reason, incensing me even further! We all get to work in completing the last orders, however. Things were going well as the Terrans seemed to (finally) get it together to actually make some good food. Sindre had just finished cooking the rice while Ada chopped the carrots. Me and Hailey were putting everything together on the other side and sending it through until—
“Is, oh my stars, did you guys really send over raw rice?! It’s not even partially cooked!! Are you all a bunch of mountain dwellers? Do you eat your dry grass with a side of brahking pebbles and pond scum?! Cook it again!” I threw the rice back, hitting Sindre in the back of the head with the pile of rice, causing his character to fall over with a cartoonish thunk sound effect.
The Germans laughed loudly at the scene, which made my face heat up in frustration. The timer was running short as we waited for the rice to actually be cooked this time.
“Nov’, I, haha, I’m sorry. I’ll get it done this time, have mercy! I thought the last one was done so I-”
My head turned just enough for my eye to be focused solely on the pale Human. “IT WAS BRAHKING RAW!! There's a bar at the top that tells you! Do you need eye surgery?? Can you even pass a driving test??”
More laughter.
“AND STOP LAUGHING AT ME!! IT’S NOT FUNNY!!”
A ding came from the pot to signify it was done. Ada immediately took it out and walked over to the counter to pass it.
“Perfect, now just- what are you doing?”
She wasn’t passing it over. Instead, she was charging up her throw way more than she needed to. I was just about to say something as the clock flashed brightly ‘till she threw the rice at full force.
Directly at my little chef. The rice beamed directly off the side of my character's head, sending me flying away from the plate and sprawled across the kitchen floor as the rice landed gently on the ground.
“ADA!!!!!”
The countdown is drowned out by the humans erupting into laughter as I desperately try and recover. Yet, just as I make it to my feet, the countdown reaches zero, and the mission ends. Defeat fills my chest while the onion man does a little dance to tally up our points.
49600… only two out of three stars…
It’s over…
I slumped against the back of the couch, fury and betrayal stirring in my chest while the predators laughed to each other for several moments. Their raucous, howling laughter eventually started dying down, at least enough for them to actually say something to me.
“Nov’, come on. It’s just a game. I’m, hehehe, I’m sorry okay? We were just having a little fun is all.” She ran her treacherous hands down my back in an effort to calm me, to little effect.
“Dumb game. Stupid… start the next mission…”
She chuckled a bit. “Maybe we should play a different game. You don’t seem real happy playing this one.”
That made my tail flick in light amusement though the frustration. “Now you sound like my Dad…” My anger at the game started to fade more and more, replaced with a growing sensation of guilt. ”I-I think that’s a good idea. Um, sorry about that.”
She removed her hand, but kept her eyes on me and the gooey trail now stringing from her hand. “Eugh… hey, you’re fine. If you can deal with us screaming at each other, then we can handle your little squeaks.”
The other two smiled and nodded in agreement while I looked at her in confusion, feeling a little offended. “My… squeaks? But, um, thank you... W-what's the next game? Hailey’s turn, right?”
On cue, she brushes her mane to the side and starts scrolling down. “Yes, actually! Unlike these two walnuts, I actually picked a relaxing game. A classic. An art piece~” Her hands did a slight flair, yet I remained unmoved.
“Hailey, that's what the other two said too. While those games were… fine, I wouldn’t call them ‘masterpieces.’ Are you sure about this one?” I asked while grabbing another brownie.
I keep eating these things, but I just feel more and more hungry… weird…
The Humans chucked as she selected her game. “Hey, have a little faith in me. I haven't met a Human alive that can say this game is bad. Just watch!”
A flash came from the TV as the game's title came into view.
Minecraft: Anniversary Edition.
“We’ll use one of the worlds we were playing on back on Earth so you can get an idea of what it’s really like. And, uh, make sure it's peaceful too, just in case.”
I took a bite of the treat and settled into my spot, preparing myself for whatever was to come.
{CONTINUED INTO THE COMMENTS}

For those who are unaware, there was a very recent change (January 1, 2024) in the residency requirements for foreign Taiwanese nationals - people with Taiwanese parent(s). For these people, Taiwan has what is called a National Without Household Registration (NWOHR) Passport. It is green and looks like a normal Taiwan passport, but it doesn’t convey full citizenship rights as it didn’t include residency and household registration. (I posted mine here in the passport sub).
Prior to this year, in order for someone with a NWOHR passport to qualify as a full citizen, they had to first live in Taiwan for 366 days in a row without leaving the country (there were some other options that allowed you to leave for short times involving 2 and 5 years, but also quite impossible for most, unless you were in Covid lockdown or found a job in Taiwan.)
But earlier this year, Taiwan’s government removed this requirement for NWOHR passport holders who had at least one parent with household registration at the time of their birth. Hence, to get your own household residency and full citizenship, you no longer have to live in Taiwan for a year without leaving. You can just go to Taiwan, spend a few weeks there and complete the application process to obtain residency and a National ID, and become a full citizen of Taiwan. Taiwan will also allow you to keep your other citizenship (as long as they allow dual citizenship with Taiwan, which the U.S. does).
I kept really detailed notes and will post below some tips from my experience. The most important one is that what was formerly known as the TARC is now folded into the 定居證 (permanent resident certificate). So you just skip having to live in Taiwan for a year but provide almost the exact same documents as the old TARC for your 定居證.
There is a process listed here which says that you can start the permanent residency certificate from outside Taiwan to shorten your time in Taiwan by just exchanging your permit in 3 days. However, when I spoke to people at TECO a few months ago, and then more recently immigration in Taipei, they said I had to start the process in Taiwan. A friend’s parents in Taiwan also called immigration the other day and they told them the same thing. So not sure how one would go about the shortened process that is in on their website. But if anyone has successfully done the shortened process themselves, please post and let us know how you were able to get it done since it would cut the process by 1.5 weeks and help out a lot of folks who can’t spend 2-3 weeks in Taiwan.
This older post in this sub covers military conscription and also has many previous links about what to do if you are male and 18-36 written by FewSandwich6. (This was not applicable for me).
This very helpful post here contains a list of definitions for commonly used terms in Chinese and English that are often used in this process, written by HongKonger85. There is also an image of a 定居證 (Permanent Residency Certificate) after immigration has issued it to you, and this is what you need to swap for household registration (covered in Part 2 below).
My detailed notes for folks are as follows. Part 1 based on my experience getting my NWOHR passport, and Part 2 getting residency, my National ID, and full citizenship in Taiwan. Some info repeats what has already been mentioned in previous threads, with the difference being the new 2024 rule change. There are probably other ways to get this process done, but just sharing my own recent experience to help others looking to do this now.
In all, I am so glad I did this. I travel a lot to Taiwan to see friends and family but do not work there, so there were minor inconveniences in not having residency. My NWOHR passport was fairly useless in Taiwan, but once I got my 身分證, I can now do things like open a bank account, get a permanent cell phone number, qualify for health insurance (after waiting 6 months), and vote in Taiwan elections. I also have a second passport to travel with if there is a country more hostile to the U.S.. Doing this will also allow any future children of mine to qualify for Taiwanese citizenship if they choose to at some point in their lives. I could also consider retiring in Taiwan or taking a gap year from work in the U.S. and still have health insurance. The total costs from start to finish ran me about $550 (excluding the costs for my trip to Taiwan).
Happy to answer any questions for folks about the process. Cheers! Hopefully my notes below are helpful.
Please note that this was written in May 2024, so things may change over time. Also, there are parts where different forms, documents, or processes may be acceptable instead of what I did, so what I outline here might not be the only possible process.
********

Part 1. Getting the NWOHR Passport:

If you do not have any Taiwanese passport start here. If you already have the NWOHR passport then skip to Part 2 (converting the passport to residency under the new 2024 laws).
The first step is to get what they call a NWOHR (National Without Household Registration) passport. This part is actually not done in Taiwan at all, and are issued by what are de-facto embassies, which in the U.S. are called the Taiwan Economic and Cultural Office (TECO). There are 12 in the US and the U.S. National Office TECRO based in DC. (Other countries have a similar versions of this like the TRO in the UK).
I was told to use the TECO office closest to where you were born and/or where your parents were married. Luckily, this was the same office - the LA branch. If it happens that you were born closer to a different one than where your parents were married, call them and ask what they recommend. One reason for this is that it makes it easier to authenticate documents that the office is familiar with, which tend to be in the areas around it.
So what is authentication? This is a process that involves notarization where someone essentially authenticates your documents and verifies that they are real. For example, you bring a copy of your official birth certificate to TECO, then the TECO office will go through the process of contacting the relevant authorities where you were born to verify that this document is indeed real. Once TECO deems it authentic, they authenticate and notarize that document for you. You need to have this done for your passport application documents.
Here is what you need to submit to your local TECO for the NWOHR passport (these guidelines are from the TECO LA Office). TECO needs to first authenticate your birth certificate and parent’s marriage license. Then they use these for the NWOHR passport application. Documents cost $15 each to authenticate. The passport application for a 10-year passport is $45.
I highly advise you make an appointment with TECO. They even advise you to book two back-to-back appointments if you need both authentication and passport services done - which is what you need to do anyway. They cut off the number of walks ins per day (in LA it was 35 max walk ins).
The authentication of documents are usually done in a few weeks and your passport around 8-10 weeks. LA TECO gave me a pick up date and a receipt (save this to give them when you pick things up). If all goes well, you should have your NWOHR passport in about 2 months! If there are any issues, like inconsistent spelling of names between documents, and something is rejected, TECO will let you know and you will have to get the docs amended before your passport can be issued.
This whole process is done outside of Taiwan. Once you get your NWOHR passport, there is no time limit to complete Part 2 in Taiwan (though if your NWOHR passport expires after 10 years, you do need to renew it).
Congrats! You now have your NWOHR passport and can continue to Part 2 whenever you are ready.

Part 2. Getting household registration, your National ID with full citizenship rights, and converting your NWOHR Passport to a NWHR Passport to finish the process.

There are now two more things you need. A health check and an FBI background check (or other relevant agency of your country; apologies that this is U.S. focused). You will also need to figure out your household registration in Taiwan (more on that later). The FBI background check took about 4-6 weeks to get, and you need to have this authenticated and notarized by TECRO. This was done outside of Taiwan while I was still in the U.S. The FBI check result is valid for one year, while the health check is only valid for 3 months, so plan accordingly.
(I chose to get the health check later in Taiwan since I did not know how to go about getting an acceptable health check done in the U.S. and also did not want to bother having the results translated into Chinese. Doing it in Taiwan also ensured my health check wouldn’t be rejected, delaying my application.)
FBI Background Check
For the FBI check, there are two steps here and it’s kind of confusing.
The first is initiating an FBI background check for yourself through the online request form on the FBI site and getting a secure link and pin. (FBI emails this to you). Get your fingerprints done at a verified USPS, it's super quick and easy. Once your background check is complete and you get your electronic results, you forward that email with the PDF directly to TECRO. The website is not super clear so I emailed them for clarification and they wrote back to me more detailed instructions after I had received the completed PDF of my background check. What they said in their email:
***
For authentication of electronic FBI Report, there are 2 steps:
Step 1:
Please forward the digital FBI Report (.pdf format) and the email of pin number (under FBI email account) to our consular email at [consul.tecro@mofa.gov.tw](mailto:consul.tecro@mofa.gov.tw) directly.
Step 2:
Meanwhile, please prepare and mail the relevant documents listed below to our office for further proceeding:
* fill out the application form for authentication as attached
* a copy of the applicant's passport (including Taiwan passport if have)
* print out the FBI Report and the email of pin number for crossing reference
** For overseas Applicants:
* a US bank draft (美金匯票) $15 in Taiwan local banks with payable to TECRO
* a prepaid shipping label from FedEx or USL or DHL (for mailing the authenticated document back to you)
** For domestic Applicants:
* authentication fee: USD 15 (either money order or casher's check with payable to TECRO)
* a stamped self-addressed return envelope (to mail the authenticated documents back to you)
Also, please allow additional time for mail delivery. Thanks
***
In about 4 weeks or so, TECRO will mail you back a physical copy of your TECRO authenticated FBI background check using the self-addressed stamped envelope you sent them. Now that you have your FBI background check, you have one year to get your citizenship done in Taiwan before it expires.
Chinese Translation and Authentication/Notarization of your documents:
For this next part of the process, you need to get all your docs that were submitted for your NWOHR passport and the FBI background check translated and authenticated into Chinese. People on the internet mention that you can do this yourself. I recommend hiring professionals here who know what they are doing and also do the notarizing since you don’t want the translation of your documents to be rejected by immigration, wasting time and money. The docs also need to be formatted in a certain way. Given this, I went with a place in Taipei that charged about 6200 NT (~$200 US) for doing all my docs (background check, birth certificate, and parents marriage license, with notary). I used: 口藝國際有限公司(翻譯/公證代辦) and they took a little over a week to get these translated and notarized for me. (TECO actually told me to save money and do the translation in Taiwan, since places in the LA area were quoted as more, maybe in the $300-400 range, but if others have found cheaper US or Taiwan options please let us know who you used and how much they charged).
Plan a 2-3 week vacation in Taiwan (possibly with your parent(s) whose household registration you will be joining). 2 weeks if your health check is done already and all your docs are translated and notarized, 3 weeks if you need to do a health check in Taiwan. Less than a week might be possible but unclear if anyone has successfully done the 3-day exchange version mentioned here.
Enter Taiwan with your NWOHR passport on the Taiwan resident/citizen side and make sure to get your NWOHR passport physically stamped with your entry date.
Health Check in Taiwan
For my health check, I went to MacKay Memorial Hospital, 16th floor (No.92, Sec.2, Zhongshan N. Rd., Zhongshan Dist., Taipei City). I called all the Taipei hospitals on this approved list of health check hospitals, and MacKay was the shortest guaranteed turnaround at 7 days. Walk-ins only, no appointments, - 8am-11am, 1:30-4pm M-F, and Saturday but only in the morning. Exam fee was 2050 NT, an additional 750 NT if you need a booster shot. The turnaround was 1 week and there was no way to speed this up. Bring passport, face mask (maybe not required now), and money. You can use your U.S. passport for the application and might actually be easier as they don't need stool samples for U.S. applicants. They draw some blood and take a chest x-ray.
After getting all your documents translated and authenticated, the health check, and entering Taiwan on your NWOHR passport, you can begin the 3-step process of getting your full citizenship and new NWHR passport in this order:

1. 定居證 (permanent residency certificate) ->
2. 戶口名簿 (household registration) and 身分證 (National ID) ->
3. New NWHR Passport (and leaving Taiwan on it).

1) 定居證 (Permanent Residency Certificate)
For your 定居證 (permanent residency certificate), go to a National Immigration Agency office in Taiwan with all the necessary documents that have been authenticated and translated. (I used the one in Taipei on 15 Guangzhou Rd). Once you start this part, you cannot leave Taiwan until you get your new passport, and when you next leave Taiwan, you must do so on your new NWHR passport. In your application, you need to show that you have the ability to establish household residency (easier to do if joining your parents), along with the original and one set of copies of all of your translated/notarized documents and yours and your parents' Taiwan passports. They will also ask for a photocopy of the dated entry stamp in your NWOHR passport. You will also need pictures, and the basement of the Immigration Agency has a booth where you can get 6 photos for 120 NT. Those 6 pictures should be enough for the rest of the process - just keep them with you for each step.
The permanent residency certificate process takes 7 working days, so essentially 10 days. This is the longest part. If someone has successfully done the shorter 3 day exchange, please let us know how you did this, since it would likely help out a lot of people given that this was the longest part necessary in Taiwan.
2) 戶口名簿 (Household Registration) and 身分證 (National ID)
In 10 days, once you get your 定居證 permanent residency certificate, to get your household registration you must go to the household registration office in the district you plan to register in. The easiest is to have a parent add you to theirs, but their household registration has to be current and not expired for you to be able to do this, and best updated within the past 3 months (what TECO told us). If you can’t do this, then you need to register a household yourself using a lease/other steps that you should look up how to do.
At the household registration office, you give them the 定居證 (permanent residency certificate) and other documents they need to establish your residency (parent’s household info or lease etc). Don't forget your picture. Then you get your 戶口名簿 (household registration). Also remember to get a copy of your 戶籍謄本（transcript of household registration) since you will need it in 6 months to apply for health care if you plan to do that.
Right after this, they will print out your 身分證 (National ID). You get your household registration and 身分證 the same day at the same place (took me about 1-2 hours).
At this point, you are actually considered a citizen of Taiwan. However, when you choose to leave Taiwan, you must get a NWHR Passport and leave on that passport.
3) Getting your NWHR Passport
You now need to go to BOCA to apply for the new passport. I did my household registration and national ID in the late morning, so I still had time to go to BOCA before they closed at 5pm.
Their Taipei office is near the Shandao MRT stop. Bring your national ID, NWOHR passport, 2 pictures, and cash for payment. Normally for a passport there is a 10-day turnaround at 1300 NTD. Expedited next business day service is available for an additional 900 NTD. So I paid 2200 NTD for my passport since I needed mine the next day as my trip to Taiwan was planned for exactly 3 weeks and by now, I had only 2 days left in Taiwan.
Pick up your passport the next day (and they give you your previous NWOHR passport back with the corner clipped off)! Don’t forget, when you eventually leave Taiwan, you must leave Taiwan with your new NWHR Taiwan passport but there is no deadline to leave (and I got mine stamped in case that was required, but not sure if it was or not).
CONGRATS on finishing the entire process, getting full Taiwan Citizenship/Household Residency with your National ID, and your new NWHR passport to allow you to leave Taiwan!
Health Insurance: 6 months after doing this you can qualify for NHI (and is technically mandatory). To apply, go to any district office and bring your 戶籍謄本 (transcript of household registration), National ID, and a chop stamp. (Yeah, they still use those lol). I found a chop stamp place near my household registration office that did a wood stamp for 100 NTD, and had them do multiple in case I lost one, since any duplicates have to be done at the same time for them to match. Someone else can even apply for you if you are not in Taiwan as long as they have a copy of your ID, 戶籍謄本 (transcript of household registration), and chop stamp.
If all your income is outside of Taiwan, health insurance payments should be about $25 a month. If you pay monthly, you qualify for full health benefits in Taiwan. You can also suspend your payments if you plan to leave Taiwan for more than 6 months and do not plan on using their health care system. You can also keep coverage and continue to pay into the system even when gone for long periods of time. However, don't forget that your household registration will be suspended if you are gone from Taiwan for more than 2 years, and while you can easily renew it when you come back, this will pause your health coverage.
Total Cost for Taiwan Citizenship
The total cost, was about US $75-100 for the NWOHR passport, depending on if you have to get new copies of your original birth/parental records. The cost for the Part 2 were roughly: FBI check ($32), U.S.P.S. fingerprinting ($50), Health Check ($85, mine was more than the usual $63 because I needed a booster shot for one of my MMR vaccinations), Translations and notarizations ($200), residency permit (~$30), National ID ($5), expedited passport next day ($68). So my out of pocket costs for the residency conversion in Taiwan was roughly $465 or so.
So the entire citizenship process from start to finish was about $550 USD.
You only have to do this once, and now you are a full citizen with all the rights to live and work in Taiwan and can vote! I would have never been able to do this without the new rule change, so really thankful that the process is so much easier now.
Let me know if there are any questions!
(Edits for clarification.)

Don’t have any info about wife at this moment.
Full context. Posted this in an advice subreddit but I need advice asap. Didn’t do it here first cause relationship advice seems ominous cause we aren’t in a relationship, but here goes the post.
—————
Okay so this is going to be a lot and I hope you can follow along with what's happening. Never thought I'd come here for this. Anyways. I have this coworker and I like him. The problem is he's fucking married. Why cursing? Because he doesn't fucking wear a ring at work and I didn't know until I already liked him. Now I've been at this job about 2 years. I'm one of the newest hires in my department. Most of the older higher knew, almost as a matter of fact. I'm guessing this is the point of those dumbass Christmas parties that seem outdated and boring. It's to see if your coworkers bring freaking wives. Anyways. I want to state now that I have serious issues with cheating. Huge fuck no. That's the core of my issue. I had been working closely with this guy at my job for the last 2 years and felt like we really connected and he flirted with me (could just be friendly and I was being delusional. No way to be sure atm) and I started to develop feelings. I'd normally shoot my shot around my crush but l've been insecure about 10-15lbs weight gain since covid years so l've been a little more reserved. Still flirting but not as bold. Anyways, I found out last week that he had a WIFE. How? She brought him lunch. Crazy simple right. He forgot his lunch. And I asked another coworker and they said that was his wife so matter of factly l'm just like ok l've been flirty with this guy for almost 2 years and no one said anything (the point I thought maybe him flirting back might have been my delusion). I'm mad because l'd rather he be standoffish or show clear distancing so I could have taken the hint early and we wouldn't be here. I really like(d) him. And I want to get over it so that the d can be released from its parenthesis. Oh for context we're both late mid twenties. Trying to be vague on purpose. So this next part might be even harder to follow so I'll try to be coherent as I have a lot of emotions happening to me.
So. The kind of person I am, I will not get over this crush until I get it off my chest. I haven't had a genuine crush in a good amount of years. I don't like people easily. But like l've said I don't want to have feelings for a married man. Not only is it cliche, I'm not turning into my worst fucking nightmare this late in life (never tolerate cheating, been around cheaters, etc. so almost being 30 is late in deciding to be an awful human fucking being, imo). So at first I was just going to default to my normal self and decide to just tell him I like him a lot but I know goes married and I'm not tryna blow up his life yard yard I just wanted closure so I could move on. Innocent enough. However I've been haunted my Reddit and stupid think pieces. Plus I'm a keen contingency thinker so l eventually came to the reality that mentioning this could possibly make the husband turn away from his wife or even try to be more with me or a full slew of possibilities. Mainly stemming from how he never really put up a wall to my flirting and favoritism. Like yeah, he's still a man and could just be that dumb. But I have a good idiot-radar and he's not on it, so it felts deliberate. So then I thought I could reach out to the wife and tell her my situation and ask her what she would prefer me to do. I want to leave her husband alone but my feelings can't go away til I talk it out. Considering changing jobs, that's the nuclear option. I don't want to open her husbands eyes to the fact that I and possibly other women might/will want him if he's already morally questionable and create issues in the marriage. I know by this point I can't expect people to think and react the way I would, which would be to ignore random girl telling me I like her cause I'm married. I want to be more realistic to how society is. Which is why l'm here Reddit.
Should I ask the wife if she'd rather I just fuck off, keep it to myself, and harbor this crush for her husband in silence. Or if she'd allow me to tell him so I can move on, regardless of what he wants. Or should I just tell him and keep it pushing like the fallout has nothing to do with me. The third feels irresponsible.
One more comment before posting that I may or may not have mentioned in my ramble. I've never liked someone who had someone already. Regardless of how it happened the technicality doesn't matter it's happening and it's new. I'm afraid that if he tries to kiss me or some shit I'll kiss him back on reflex cause I do like him rn. Before realizing what's happening and being disgusted with him. Sounds crazy af I know but I'm just trying to be realistic knowing how my brain works. That's why I don't really want to sit on it. I know l'll not want him after something like that but the damage will be done as far as the wife is concerned. And no I haven't talked to him about the wife. Or the lack of ring. I kinda hate him right now for not disclosing but he never did anything explicit so I can't hate him fr. I have a hate for him that is clearly stemming from my affection and love for him which is why I'm so alarmed right now. Trying not to be a red flag but even my green flag option sounds like a crazy ass bitch plotting on a family. So, what should I do.
——————
EDIT: I will no longer entertain or respond to any post telling me to seek therapy. Cause for one I’m not fucking crazy. I’m trying to be understanding cause my post is all over the place and a lot of y’all be lying to delusional about your emotions but I am not. To clarify. I don’t have some weird need or want to tell the wife. Under everyday circumstances, I would have told this coworker how I used to feel (always best to say it in past tense so they don’t think it’s a door open situation) and move on. I know my emotions. I have healthy ways of dealing with it. I have been to therapy. Your hypothetical beliefs on therapy are not constructive advice. You’re just wasting my time. I have to address my emotion, whether it’s good or bad, to whoever it is the emotion is stemming from. As a person I need to say it out loud to move on. Been doing it for almost 20 years. If he was single I’d already be halfway to finding a new work husband. But I’ve never been in a situation where there was another party connected so I stopped myself from doing my default, mainly due to reddit horror stories, and considered the possibility of consulting the wife. In my initial mind frame, it didn’t matter to me if he responded, I just needed to say it. Regardless I wont even up with him cause he’ll either be a cheater or fickle. Both are nos. In fact telling the wife felt like some crazy bitch shit so I just wanted unbiased people to tell me if it was as crazy as I thought or if I was actually being considerate. The one thing everyone agrees on is not involving her. I thought she could use that situation to see if her husband was fickle, cheating scum, or wholesome. (Yes I know testing a spouse is toxic but if he would cross the line that’s up to the wife to test for her peace of mind). But we are scraping that. Cool. Now all that’s left is to either tell him so I can move on, or change jobs so I won’t have a chance of seeing him and I can compartmentalize and act like I’ve never met or liked him. Those are my only two options. Staying around a married man with feelings for him is not a damn option. It’s weird. And dumb. There are two options. If you have advice that works within those or seems like it might work for someone like me who is very direct then I’ll listen. But acting like I’m crazy cause I want yall to tell me if including her was ok is annoying.
And some asked what exactly was the flirting so I might as well address that. It wasn’t anything serious. Think work husband/work wife vibe but with a single coworker who is professional. It could be in my head cause there are platonic work husband/wife relationships. I’m not some creepy bitch thinking he stared at me for 3 seconds longer than yesterday. Also we do “talk” outside of work but it’s about work. Well went about the workout when we take work home or about the manager before a meeting on a hybrid day. Nothing the wife would be concerned about tbh. He also said he didn’t have a girlfriend in the beginning when I was first hired. Granted now I can see he was probably being quirky with job icebreakers type shit cause he doesn’t have a gf he has a wife, but why would I realistically assume that with no ring. But whatever. So yeah. Help me within the confines to MY scenario and not some worst case homewrecker so elopes that it’s clear some of yall are hoping this is.
——
EDIT2: something that came up that I think others could also be assuming so I should address it. When I say I want to tell him I’m not talking about some sly ass “I like you but I know we can’t be together” ass comment that really isn’t even closure it’s just something homewreckers say to feel morally just when they are testing the water for being side chicks. I would say exactly, if not something eerily similar to “I used to like you, but I’m moving past it. Thank you”. That is usually what I would say. I feel like I should add a “sorry if that made you uncomfortable. I’ll be sure to distance but stay professional around you.” Since alot of people brought up workplace issues or harassment that I think are valid concerns.
—- EDIT3: final edit before work in the am. Some of y’all wonder why I don’t just ask my friends for advice. I have for some. And the issue is they know me. So they tell me to just do what I normally do and remove myself from the situation cause if there is any fallout it was probably because he was a closet scum in the first place. But for me it’s like I came to reddit because yall don’t know me, just like the wife. I can’t expect her to understand someone like me when I know she’s probably never met someone who thought like I did (standard thing). I’d be just some suspicious bitch to her so I felt Reddit would help on how a stranger would take this scenario with added context (cause I didn’t plan on explaining semantics to wife if I did go that route). My friends just say that he’d only act out if he likes homewreckers which I’m not so it’s not my problem after I walk away. That or they tell me to switch departments. (2-1) but yeah. If you could give advice before lunch (12p) tomorrow that would be great. If not I’ll update yall with what I actually did by the end of the week. I’m not going to keep having feelings for this man so moves must be made THIS week.
UPDATE: So there were maybe 3 people who gave constructive criticism/advice between both post. I’m really only updating for yall cause the rest are either hurt individuals or cheating fantasizes and all your “advice” is really to your ex that hurt you or some weird ass cheating adjacent type solution. So I came to my conclusion after consulting the whole extended friend group. Cause unlike yall, they’ve all known me for at least 10 years and aren’t fueled by their own biases 😌. Anyways, the conclusion we came to was to ultimately tell him. We concluded that by not telling him I would be giving him special treatment and could end up solidifying the emotion. Everyone agreed I should just get it off my chest. It’s the quickest way to remove myself from this and their situation. All other options is me dragging it out which was voted a red flag for my spiraling. Although I’m sure two of my guys friends only said that cause they like seeing me do my “reverse rejection” (name they coined in undergrad). For context it was about 11 people consulted, 4 women and 7 men. Now the how is where we split but we agreed I should record my voice in case he tried to lie and make it something it’s not or if the wife ever does reach out I can give her the audio so she can use that however she likes. I’ll probably tell my manager too just so he’s in the loop like my HR friend suggested. So I’ll probably post my transcript later. I’ve never had to be around someone I got over so I would change departments if he starts acting weird. But ultimately at the end of the lunch break I’ll tell and get back to work. Tomorrow is hybrid day too so we chose today. I don’t think it will vary much from my normal prompt I’ve said before in an edit but I’ll let y’all know if I feel like it. Reddit is full of some twisted people. I get I think differently than most people, but yall really dragged your think pieces that were solely based off your own life experience which got nothing to do with me. Very unhelpful lmfao. But I started this so I should probably see it through to the end and update yall on it.
———————————————— 🚨FINAL UPDATE🚨: So I didn’t do it at lunch like I planned. He could tell I was off tho cause I was distancing and I ended up saving it for the end of the day. Thought that would be best cause we don’t come into the office on Tuesday so it would give time to minimize any fallout. I ended up saying
“hey this could be weird but I used to like you but I’m moving past it. Just wanted to be transparent since we work closely together. I didn’t know you had a wife until last week so I thought I’d just rip the bandaid. I think moving forward I should partner with James so it’s not weird. Boundaries are best. I’ll be cordial tho but yeah. Have a blessed day”
Then I just walked to my car. He texted me like an hour after to apologize(?) and make sure that we’re still cool and make sure it’s not weird Wednesday when we get back in the office. He actually asked if we could still be friends, which doesn’t matter much to me. But yeah. I think this chapter is over. I feel a lot better now.
————Do Not Need to Read Below————-
I do want to clarify some things for those who care. Probably those who came after all this wrapped up. I want to address some points. Advice that is not based or related with my reality is not advice. It’s cannon fodder for a web novel. Advice from your perspective that would have been helpful include:

1. a wife giving how she’d feel and whether she’d want to know. Or taking on the POV of the unsuspecting wife
   
2. People who work with taken crushes and how they cope, whether you a plotter or not
   

Everything else was useless. Explicit useless takes and basis include:

1. people assuming I want to end up with a man that is married. Whether it be now or in 5 years
   
2. People who think I’m obsessed with telling the wife
   
3. People who think I want to somehow frame my coworker to his wife as a cheater
   
4. People who think I had any intention other than including her and letting her make my choice for me. Cause honestly, just because you don’t understand my thought process doesn’t make it a lie. if you have to erase what I’m saying to input your narrative to make your comment apply then it’s a useless comment. You could say that including her was dumb, then say that a wife wouldn’t blah blah. That’s a valid comment cause it’s based off a POV I care about. Not off your delusions of me reaching out to her in order to ruin(?) her marriage. Cause side note. If me telling her that I have a one sided crush with her husband and want to stay away from him ruins her marriage, I was not the cause. That marriage was flaw af already.
   
5. People who think pining after a married men is a plausible option. I’m sorry but yall are dumb. There was a detachment option but you literally told me to stay attached. Weird.
   
6. Seek therapy advice that weaponized it as if you’re trying to put me on a psychiatric hold. As someone who has been through therapy and seen a lot of shit in my life, it’s not kind, productive, nor helpful. Mental health isn’t a punchline for your anonymous asshole reddit comments. Even my therapist wouldn’t agree with 70% of the stuff yall said about me.
   
7. People telling me to just try it once. Yeah. Burn in h*ll #sorrynotsorry. I’ll never be the other woman.
   

Mainly I want yall to understand this main point. My thought process and my POV is mine. You cannot discredit it with your own life experience. You do not know more about me than I do myself. If it helps to think of me as neurodivergent then do so, but I explained how I process ALL emotions. How I handle them. Never been a problem. So at 27 a bunch of random people telling me I’m toxic because now my ways of tackling my arbitrary feelings that were fine from everyone I’ve ever known are being seen as toxic from people who don’t even know my name is foolish and a waste of time. If you couldn’t fix your brain to think like mine, I get that. I don’t need any more people to understand me, my village is secure. However, have that same courtesy. If you can’t wrap your head around it then you were not qualified to give advice. If you couldn’t hop off your high horse and give devils advocate for MY perspective of MY situation then why are you even in an advice subreddit.

Okay so this is going to be a lot and I hope you can follow along with what’s happening. Never thought I’d come here for this. Anyways. I have this coworker and I like him. The problem is he’s fucking married. Why cursing? Because he doesn’t fucking wear a ring at work and I didn’t know until I already liked him. Now I’ve been at this job about 2 years. I’m one of the newest hires in my department. Most of the older higher knew, almost as a matter of fact. I’m guessing this is the point of those dumbass Christmas parties that seem outdated and boring. It’s to see if your coworkers bring freaking wives. Anyways. I want to state now that I have serious issues with cheating. Huge fuck no. That’s the core of my issue. I had been working closely with this guy at my job for the last 2 years and felt like we really connected and he flirted with me (could just be friendly and I was being delusional. No way to be sure atm) and I started to develop feelings. I’d normally shoot my shot around my crush but I’ve been insecure about 10-15lbs weight gain since covid years so I’ve been a little more reserved. Still flirting but not as bold. Anyways, I found out last week that he had a WIFE. How? She brought him lunch. Crazy simple right. He forgot his lunch. And I asked another coworker and they said that was his wife so matter of factly I’m just like ok I’ve been flirty with this guy for almost 2 years and no one said anything (the point I thought maybe him flirting back might have been my delusion). I’m mad because I’d rather he be standoffish or show clear distancing so I could have taken the hint early and we wouldn’t be here. I really like(d) him. And I want to get over it so that the d can be released from its parenthesis. Oh for context we’re both late mid twenties. Trying to be vague on purpose. So this next part might be even harder to follow so I’ll try to be coherent as I have a lot of emotions happening to me.
So. The kind of person I am, I will not get over this crush until I get it off my chest. I haven’t had a genuine crush in a good amount of years. I don’t like people easily. But like I’ve said I don’t want to have feelings for a married man. Not only is it cliche, I’m not turning into my worst fucking nightmare this late in life (never tolerate cheating, been around cheaters, etc. so almost being 30 is late in deciding to be an awful human fucking being, imo). So at first I was just going to default to my normal self and decide to just tell him I like him a lot but I know goes married and I’m not tryna blow up his life yard yard I just wanted closure so I could move on. Innocent enough. However I’ve been haunted my Reddit and stupid think pieces. Plus I’m a keen contingency thinker so I eventually came to the reality that mentioning this could possibly make the husband turn away from his wife or even try to be more with me or a full slew of possibilities. Mainly stemming from how he never really put up a wall to my flirting and favoritism. Like yeah, he’s still a man and could just be that dumb. But I have a good idiot-radar and he’s not on it, so it felts deliberate. So then I thought I could reach out to the wife and tell her my situation and ask her what she would prefer me to do. I want to leave her husband alone but my feelings can’t go away til I talk it out. Considering changing jobs, that’s the nuclear option. I don’t want to open her husbands eyes to the fact that I and possibly other women might/will want him if he’s already morally questionable and create issues in the marriage. I know by this point I can’t expect people to think and react the way I would, which would be to ignore the random girl telling me I like her cause I’m married. I want to be more realistic to how society is. Which is why I’m here Reddit.
Should I ask the wife if she’d rather I just fuck off, keep it to myself, and harbor this crush for her husband in silence. Or if she’d allow me to tell him so I can move on, regardless of what he wants. Or should I just tell him and keep it pushing like the fallout has nothing to do with me. The third feels irresponsible.
One more comment before posting that I may or may not have mentioned in my ramble. I’ve never liked someone who had someone already. Regardless of how it happened the technicality doesn’t matter it’s happening and it’s new. I’m afraid that if he tries to kiss me or some shit I’ll kiss him back on reflex cause I do like him rn. Before realizing what’s happening and being disgusted with him. Sounds crazy af I know but I’m just trying to be realistic knowing how my brain works. That’s why I don’t really want to sit on it. I know I’ll not want him after something like that but the damage will be done as far as the wife is concerned. And no I haven’t talked to him about the wife. Or the lack of ring. I kinda hate him right now for not disclosing but he never did anything explicit so I can’t hate him fr. I have a hate for him that is clearly stemming from my affection and love for him which is why I’m so alarmed right now. Trying not to be a red flag but even my green flag option sounds like a crazy ass bitch plotting on a family. So, what should I do.
EDIT: I will no longer entertain or respond to any post telling me to seek therapy. Cause for one I’m not fucking crazy. I’m trying to be understanding cause my post is all over the place and a lot of y’all be lying to delusional about your emotions but I am not. To clarify. I don’t have some weird need or want to tell the wife. Under everyday circumstances, I would have told this coworker how I used to feel (always best to say it in past tense so they don’t think it’s a door open situation) and move on. I know my emotions. I have healthy ways of dealing with it. I have been to therapy. Your hypothetical beliefs on therapy are not constructive advice. You’re just wasting my time. I have to address my emotion, whether it’s good or bad, to whoever it is the emotion is stemming from. As a person I need to say it out loud to move on. Been doing it for almost 20 years. If he was single I’d already be halfway to finding a new work husband. But I’ve never been in a situation where there was another party connected so I stopped myself from doing my default, mainly due to reddit horror stories, and considered the possibility of consulting the wife. In my initial mind frame, it didn’t matter to me if he responded, I just needed to say it. Regardless I wont even up with him cause he’ll either be a cheater or fickle. Both are nos. In fact telling the wife felt like some crazy bitch shit so I just wanted unbiased people to tell me if it was as crazy as I thought or if I was actually being considerate. The one thing everyone agrees on is not involving her. I thought she could use that situation to see if her husband was fickle, cheating scum, or wholesome. (Yes I know testing a spouse is toxic but if he would cross the line that’s up to the wife to test for her peace of mind). But we are scraping that. Cool. Now all that’s left is to either tell him so I can move on, or change jobs so I won’t have a chance of seeing him and I can compartmentalize and act like I’ve never met or liked him. Those are my only two options. Staying around a married man with feelings for him is not a damn option. It’s weird. And dumb. There are two options. If you have advice that works within those or seems like it might work for someone like me who is very direct then I’ll listen. But acting like I’m crazy cause I want yall to tell me if including her was ok is annoying.
And some asked what exactly was the flirting so I might as well address that. It wasn’t anything serious. Think work husband/work wife vibe but with a single coworker who is professional. It could be in my head cause there are platonic work husband/wife relationships. I’m not some creepy bitch thinking he stared at me for 3 seconds longer than yesterday. Also we do “talk” outside of work but it’s about work. Well went about the workout when we take work home or about the manager before a meeting on a hybrid day. Nothing the wife would be concerned about tbh. He also said he didn’t have a girlfriend in the beginning when I was first hired. Granted now I can see he was probably being quirky with job icebreakers type shit cause he doesn’t have a gf he has a wife, but why would I realistically assume that with no ring. But whatever. So yeah. Help me within the confines of MY scenario and not some worst case homewrecker so elopes that it’s clear some of yall are hoping this is. Cause I’ll just start reporting you for violation of the “give benefit of the doubt” rules. Give advice based on who I’m telling you I am not how your ex would have handled this. You don’t know me so all you know is what I’m telling you. It’s not advice if you have to create a new personality for me for I to apply. If you can’t explain yourself on why you think I’m like that then you’re probably violating the rule. Thanks for those ACTUALLY trying to help me.
——-
EDIT2: something that came up that I think others could also be assuming so I should address it. When I say I want to tell him I’m not talking about some sly ass “I like you but I know we can’t be together” ass comment that really isn’t even closure it’s just something homewrckers say to feel morally just when they are testing the water for being side chicks. I would say exactly, if not something eerily similar to “I used to like you, but I’m moving past it. Thank you”. That is usually what I would say. I feel like I should add a “sorry if that made you uncomfortable. I’ll be sure to distance but stay professional around you.” Since alot of people brought up workplace issues or harassment that I think are valid concerns.
—-
EDIT3: final edit before work in the am. Some of y’all wonder why I don’t just ask my friends for advice. I have for some. And the issue is they know me. So they tell me to just do what I normally do and remove myself from the situation cause if there is any fallout it was probably because he was a closet scum in the first place. But for me it’s like I came to reddit because yall don’t know me, just like the wife. I can’t expect her to understand someone like me when I know she’s probably never met someone who thought like I did (standard thing). I’d be just some suspicious bitch to her so I felt Reddit would help on how a stranger would take this scenario with added context (cause I didn’t plan on explaining semantics to wife if I did go that route). My friends just say that he’d only act out if he likes homewreckers which I’m not so it’s not my problem after I walk away. That or they tell me to switch departments. (2-1) but yeah. If you could give advice before lunch (12p) tomorrow that would be great. If not I’ll update yall with what I actually did by the end of the week. I’m not going to keep having feelings for this man so moves must be made THIS week.
UPDATE: So there were maybe 3 people who gave constructive criticism/advice between both post. I’m really only updating for yall cause the rest are either hurt individuals or cheating fantasizes and all your “advice” is really to your ex that hurt you or some weird ass cheating adjacent type solution. So I came to my conclusion after consulting the whole extended friend group. Cause unlike yall, they’ve all known me for at least 10 years and aren’t fueled by their own biases 😌. Anyways, the conclusion we came to was to ultimately tell him. We concluded that by not telling him I would be giving him special treatment and could end up solidifying the emotion. Everyone agreed I should just get it off my chest. It’s the quickest way to remove myself from this and their situation. All other options is me dragging it out which was voted a red flag for my spiraling. Although I’m sure two of my guys friends only said that cause they like seeing me do my “reverse rejection” (name they coined in undergrad). For context it was about 11 people consulted, 4 women and 7 men. Now the how is where we split but we agreed I should record my voice in case he tried to lie and make it something it’s not or if the wife ever does reach out I can give her the audio so she can use that however she likes. I’ll probably tell my manager too just so he’s in the loop like my HR friend suggested. So I’ll probably post my transcript later. I’ve never had to be around someone I got over so I would change departments if he starts acting weird. But ultimately at the end of the lunch break I’ll tell and get back to work. Tomorrow is hybrid day too so we chose today. I don’t think it will vary much from my normal prompt I’ve said before in an edit but I’ll let y’all know if I feel like it. Reddit is full of some twisted people. I get I think differently than most people, but yall really dragged your think pieces that were solely based off your own life experience which got nothing to do with me. Very unhelpful lmfao. But I started this so I should probably see it through to the end and update yall on it.
————————————————
🚨FINAL UPDATE🚨: So I didn’t do it at lunch like I planned. He could tell I was off tho cause I was distancing and I ended up saving it for the end of the day. Thought that would be best cause we don’t come into the office on Tuesday so it would give time to minimize any fallout. I ended up saying
“hey this could be weird but I used to like you but I’m moving past it. Just wanted to be transparent since we work closely together. I didn’t know you had a wife until last week so I thought I’d just rip the bandaid. I think moving forward I should partner with James so it’s not weird. Boundaries are best. I’ll be cordial tho but yeah. Have a blessed day”
Then I just walked to my car. He texted me like an hour after to apologize(?) and make sure that we’re still cool and make sure it’s not weird Wednesday when we get back in the office. He actually asked if we could still be friends, which doesn’t matter much to me. But yeah. I think this chapter is over. I feel a lot better now.
————Do Not Need to Read Below————-
I do want to clarify some things for those who care. Probably those who came after all this wrapped up. I want to address some points. Advice that is not based or related with my reality is not advice. It’s cannon fodder for a web novel. Advice from your perspective that would have been helpful include:

1. a wife giving how she’d feel and whether she’d want to know. Or taking on the POV of the unsuspecting wife
   
2. People who work with taken crushes and how they cope, whether you a plotter or not
   

Everything else was useless. Explicit useless takes and basis include:

1. people assuming I want to end up with a man that is married. Whether it be now or in 5 years
   
2. People who think I’m obsessed with telling the wife
   
3. People who think I want to somehow frame my coworker to his wife as a cheater
   
4. People who think I had any intention other than including her and letting her make my choice for me. Cause honestly, just because you don’t understand my thought process doesn’t make it a lie. if you have to erase what I’m saying to input your narrative to make your comment apply then it’s a useless comment. You could say that including her was dumb, then say that a wife wouldn’t blah blah. That’s a valid comment cause it’s based off a POV I care about. Not off your delusions of me reaching out to her in order to ruin(?) her marriage. Cause side note. If me telling her that I have a one sided crush with her husband and want to stay away from him ruins her marriage, I was not the cause. That marriage was flaw af already.
   
5. People who think pining after a married men is a plausible option. I’m sorry but yall are dumb. There was a detachment option but you literally told me to stay attached. Weird.
   
6. Seek therapy advice that weaponized it as if you’re trying to put me on a psychiatric hold. As someone who has been through therapy and seen a lot of shit in my life, it’s not kind, productive, nor helpful. Mental health isn’t a punchline for your anonymous asshole reddit comments. Even my therapist wouldn’t agree with 70% of the stuff yall said about me.
   
7. People telling me to just try it once. Yeah. Burn in h*ll #sorrynotsorry. I’ll never be the other woman.
   

Mainly I want yall to understand this main point. My thought process and my POV is mine. You cannot discredit it with your own life experience. You do not know more about me than I do myself. If it helps to think of me as neurodivergent then do so, but I explained how I process ALL emotions. How I handle them. Never been a problem. So at 27 a bunch of random people telling me I’m toxic because now my ways of tackling my arbitrary feelings that were fine from everyone I’ve ever known are being seen as toxic from people who don’t even know my name is foolish and a waste of time. If you couldn’t fix your brain to think like mine, I get that. I don’t need any more people to understand me, my village is secure. However, have that same courtesy. If you can’t wrap your head around it then you were not qualified to give advice. If you couldn’t hop off your high horse and give devils advocate for MY perspective of MY situation then why are you even in an advice subreddit.

Edit: I would like to revise the title to read as "I suspect my coworker died from stress related complications stemming from work" I realize my title makes too much of an assumption.
I don't know if antiwork is the place for this, but I feel that if there is anywhere that can point me in the direction of what I need for what I have to do, this is the place. My friend had been very stressed out from work, specifically her boss. He targeted her and actively sought out any reason to punish her. I was worried about her well being for a long time but the last few months I was much more concerned. Despite having excellent results as a supervisor and always having exceptional reviews, he would find new ways to demean her. Most of the things he attacked her for were not against any company policy or listed in any standard operating procedures of her department. His behavior was so predictable that she knew it would eventually happen again, so I advised that she record the interaction in a way that Teams video calls can't detect and if he happened to do it again, she would have proof of it and could submit that to HR. Inevitably, he did and she recorded the entire interaction. She sent me a copy of the recording and asked if I could help with making a transcript and lowering the video file size to be able to fit email formatting. The way he talked to her in that recording was not appropriate for anything, it was terrible. After preparing all of this, she planned on taking it to HR with documentation of previous instances, but she feared retaliation. All of her examples were very specific and even if reported anonymously she knew he would know it was her reporting it. To make matters worse, after that specific video meeting, his mistreatment escalated. He began demanding that she check in for any sort of break via Teams chat with exact times, estimates on when she would return, details of where she would be and for what purpose. Around this time she requested and was granted vacation time off, and planned to go to a beautiful air bnb to relax, but the day before she was set to travel, she had terrible pain and was suddenly unable to walk. Her father had to come pick her up to take her to an ER, then had to carry her into the ER. When she returned the next week from her time off, she informed me of the ER visit and told me that the doctors there, as well as her therapist agreed that the health issues all stemmed from stress. I reiterated the need to go to HR and she agreed, but she was also still having difficulty walking. I offered to come pick her up when she would eventually be ready, and to help her with anything she needed. She insisted her apartment was a mess and she just needed a little time to recover and that she would let me know if she needed me. Days later I spoke with her on the phone and despite having the same complaints about her boss, she seemed very optimistic. She told me she was feeling better, and had a plan to go to HR. We were even laughing about funny music before I got off of the call with her, and that was the last time I talked to her. The next week, another co-worker called me and told me that she no call-no showed, and she never does that. I told the other co-worker I would meet with them at her apartment for a wellness visit. We found her there, and honestly it was the worst day of my life. I could not tell if it was self harm, or if she had slipped, or if maybe her recent health complications caused something. I could be completely mistaken and it could have been something unrelated health-wise. What happened to her, while maybe not directly responsible, I do believe that the stress from work contributed to this. I also believe it's possible it was completely what caused this. I plan on going to HR to report all of this and to turn the recording over to them, but I also feel that this exceeds merely reporting to HR. I am trying to respect her family and give them peace, but I feel they deserve to know. I can't let this stand and I need some guidance on how to navigate this situation the right way. I am not trying to rush this and I am also hoping to find out if there is a medical examiner's report to confirm a cause of death.

Edit: o7
Responding via edits is silly. Standard hyperbolic response, as I mentioned below. But I gotta address two things just so y'all aware that I can offer a rebuttal if need be. 4THOT says:

Here's the full interview with the UN Rapporteur on Violence against Women claiming she isn't aware of the rocket attacks - https://www.linkedin.com/posts/bar-shemur-8b1bb23b_the-un-rapporteur-on-violence-against-women-activity-7171212859895459841-gq6B

I don't know why he's attempting to "find" the "full interview". The linkedin video he has given here is literally the exact same video I gave in my comment. Click the hyperlink saying "the lengthier clip." They're both posted by the interviewer, Bar Shem-Ur. Mate, did you even read my original comment? If you scroll down this page (part 3), you can see I say "the segment that aired on Hazinor, Channel 13 is exactly the same." I searched for where the footage originally aired and found no additional material. 4THOT, mate, the "clip-chimp" is this 30s clip the Jerusalem Post originally posted. When I say "lengthier" clip, I am talking about the 5min segment that you had to "find" despite the fact that I already found it.

nvm this dipshit didn't find the actual interview, this is a cut from twitter

Once again, the video from Twitter I provided is the exact same video as the linkedin one. There is no entire, unedited full interview anywhere without the tiktok rapid cuts. There might be more footage out there, who knows, I've literally never claimed to have found the "full" interview. I called it a clip compilation because I don't know if more footage exits. Another baffling response. Anyways, I'll leave the rest, this is not the way to have a back-and-forth. Toodles! XD
Edit 2: Just to clarify what I was attempting to do in my comment, 4THOT still has not directly answered this question from part 3, the main post:

Do you think Alsalem holds the position that Hamas or Hezbollah have never fired rockets against Israel?

I honestly don't remember the last time I saw someone claim that Hamas has never fired rockets against Israel; this would be an astronomically fringe position. If you read the headline of the JP alone, and maybe even the article, you can still come away with the conclusion that Alsalem believes that Hamas has never fired rockets against Israel. I gave evidence of the fact that some people came away with this conclusion in the redacted comment:

Because if they've lived their entire lives unaware of the rocket attacks,

I don't believe that to be true; Alsalem has not lived her entire life unaware of the rocket attacks. We need more evidence to establish that then this interview.
Notice how I have actually quoted 4THOT verbatim down below? But for some reason, I need to provide a "direct link" to it, even though you can see it if you just scroll down the page? Baffling, like I said. "Isn't that interesting?" You're quoted verbatim mate! What do you think is "interesting" here?
4THOT you are killing me:

Here's the actual thread where you were banned.

You do realize that I've linked the thread I was banned twice? A third time as well if you want to include the moment where I linked someone else's comment in that thread. Unbelievable.
I never said the headline is "incorrect" these are the actual words I used in my direct appeal:

If the headline is poor, I might present information in the comments in order to ensure that the criticism is well-directed.

I believe that the headline could lead to a misinterpretation. I was later proven to be correct. I provided evidence of that misinterpretation in the direct appeal. And 4THOT refuses to engage with any of it. Again, these edits reply are so silly. I have no idea why he's so reluctant to have an actual exchange, but judging by how he's already responded, I get it mate. Finito once more. I gotta go get some cheese balls...

The Short Version can be found here.

Part 1 here. Part 2 here.

The Beekeeper. Bzzt:

Ah, I'm so fucked. 💀

Challenges...

This part is going to be an interesting challenge. I would say I’m walking a tightrope here, but that metaphor implies that there’s some slim chance where one can write a section like this and not get banned, um, again (and again?). The original plan was something a bit more comprehensive, where alongside another matter, I would make the case that there have been a number of pro-Palestine users that have correctly addressed misinformation on this sub, where they do a decent job of breaking circlejerks, adding some sordid nuance to threads that otherwise would have devolved into the ones laid out in Part 1 and Part 2. These users will, inevitably, have an “interaction” with 4THOT at some point; they will subsequently be banned on justifications that I obviously believe are nonsensical, where said justifications are also exhibited by 4THOT, whether in that exchange itself or in other threads; and these users are not interested in returning to the sub.
I abandoned this plan for a long litany of reasons; there’s two in particular I’ll highlight here: (1) I don't believe I can achieve the effects I desire; and (2) I'm keen to avoid any accusations of this section being some “hit-piece” or “hate-post.”
I do not intend to present arguments against any other aspect of moderation that I might find to be problematic; I do not intend to make comments on character. I am simply razor-focused on one aspect of moderation here, and one aspect of the unbanning process.

...and Goals

This part will attempt to try and have my other goal — which is shared by many other users in this sub — come into fruition: I believe users should be able to participate in this sub without needing to take into consideration what 4THOT’s personal views are on a matter.
The only things a user should be cognizant of is what are Reddit's site wide rules, including those specific to this sub; what are the subreddit rules; and what are Destiny's desires in terms of what comments and submissions are allowed here. I also believe subreddit rule 6 (rule 5 on new reddit) needs to be amended to remove the arbitrariness.
If a user comes away with a different interpretation of events than 4THOT does, and said user doesn't exhibit any other behaviour in their comment or submission that violates those stated parameters, then that user ought not to be banned.
If 4THOT’s personal opinion is something that we need to be mindful of — and Destiny approves of this notion, agreeing that opinions 4THOT alone finds to be beyond the pale warrants an immediate ban — then, unironically, that stipulation should be added to the subreddit rules.
Furthermore, as mentioned in the TL;DR, I am requesting clarification on if there’s any procedure by which you can get unbanned when 4THOT sets a condition on the unban — and whether or not he should be setting conditions on the ban. 4THOT has mentioned that "Ninou has orders to not unban certain [regards.]"
As it stands, it’s not clear if Destiny approves of this behaviour. I say this because I have not seen him comment on this aspect of moderation when it comes to the subreddit. If he already disapproves of this behaviour, then I would request that this sentiment be conveyed to 4THOT, which should hopefully reduce the likelihood this reoccurs in the future.
I'm asking that Destiny clarify here because then it's something that can be clipped, and moderators here can use that clip when, well, moderating.
One final point before I critique the bans. There’s a noticeable difference between this section on 4THOT, and his um, passionate challenge to Kelly Jean: she’s easy to avoid. Just close the stream mate! Whereas 4THOT has control over who can participate in this subreddit, Kelly Jean can't dictate who can and can't appear on stream. Mashallah. 🙏 Thus, I feel this submission has justification.

The Bullet: A Forlorn Attempt for Consistency

The second ban is infinitely more interesting, but I’ll briefly address the first 30-day ban. I am not here to relitigate this discourse. The post in question that led to the infraction was removed, but it's still available if you’re a moderator, and I won't be reposting it here. The gist of the post was a question on whether or not we should be banning people for misinformation, referencing a user who received a 90-day ban from 4THOT for posting a misquote from a mainstream Israeli news outlet, during a live translation of a speech Netanyahu was giving. I’m pretty sure 4THOT knows who i24News are, so I couldn't quite follow his thought process here.
Moreover, if you’ve gone through the examples above, then you can easily imagine my bafflement here as well, particularly because a couple days earlier a Twitter clip was posted of an individual clearly misspeaking.
The user who submitted this post was only banned for 10 days — despite doubling down on this not being a misspeak — and I was bemused by the inconsistency being applied here. Being completely consistent in terms of my own principles, I mentioned in my post that I don’t think either of them should be banned, but if this is the standard that is going to be maintained, then it would only be reasonable that some level of leniency is given if you happen to inadvertently post misinformation from a reputable news outlet.
Regarding the Netanyahu misquote, I am in full agreement with 4THOT that it is a misquote, but it is regrettable that, well, some chose to challenge him on this front, arguing that the corrected quote is functionally the same, or worse. Take note of how civil his interlocutor here is up until the point 4THOT used an insult; unwisely, his interlocutor chose to match tone. I’m only mentioning this because, despite the insults 4THOT might use against me, I have no interest in engaging in a similar style of rhetoric as I don't find it to be conducive to a productive conversation, and I’m hoping I don't have to deal with a level of vitriol here that users are sometimes not allowed to match — not that I have any interest in doing so. There’s a couple tame jokes in this post, but hopefully I don’t get a response like this:

Thank fucking God that guy died because he'd absolutely kill himself by biting off his own tongue to choke on his own blood if he ever read the obese shithead redditors backseating one of the most extreme acts of political protest any human being can ever do.
HE INTENDED TO DIE NIGHTMARISHLY YOU IDIOT THAT WAS THE POINT

Frisco, you got cooked mate 😭.

A Guardian Angel?

Now, after I was banned, another user made a post about the ban upon myself, which generated a fair amount of interest, you fucking drama frogs. Here, I simply wish to make four remarks:

• I'm sure you can see how different in tone, rhetoric, and substance OP’s post is compared to my original post (for those of you that remember reading it), and compared to this post. There are a number of insults that are frequently used against 4THOT which I don’t use as I’m looking for good-faith engagement from him. That being said, I appreciate the fact that OP wasn’t looking for a meaningful, productive exchange with 4THOT here, and thus they didn’t feel the need to temper their rhetoric.
• In the pinned comment, 4THOT uses a fair amount of hyperbole. The original post was very benign, and didn’t come anywhere close to conveying a sentiment that “this Reddit is ruined” or “4THOT is literally the IDF.” I don’t see how you can come away with this reading considering how mild the post was.
• Once more, I am not here to relitigate this, but I would have loved to address some of the criticism levelled against myself in the comments under OP’s post; I certainly wasn’t going to re-open those conversations a month later. That being said, I appreciate users like Wannabe_Sadboi for making the arguments that I, more or less, would have made had I had the opportunity to immediately respond. Just to quote one of their comments: “People shouldn’t be banned for being partisan, they should be banned only for breaking rules, and Splemndid didn’t break any rules.” But, apparently, there are rules being broken here, and it is not clear what these rules are, and whether or not Destiny approves of them.
• If the original post was problematic because it was too indirect, then hopefully this post which is significantly more direct — but kept well under the threshold of something that could be constituted as a “hate-post” — should not be a problem.

Chilling Effect. Brrr 🥶

When I was hit with the 30 day ban, I sent a direct appeal hoping the length of the ban would at least be reduced, which didn't receive a response, and neither did sending an unban request via the unban request form. No biggie. At least with a temporary ban I know when to expect to be unbanned.
After the 30 day ban, I decided to give up doing two things: (1) making attempts to get other users unbanned when I felt the justifications were not cogent or fair; and (2) participating in I-P threads that 4THOT himself had already made comments within — in particular, those where he was actively arguing with other users on the subreddit. This is a bad chilling effect; even if I see a comment they have made where they’ve made a false claim, or I disagree with their analysis or moral claims, I’m choosing not to engage because I'd rather not go through yet another cycle of bans. I value shitposting in the subreddit more than having arguments with 4THOT.
Moreover, I’m also not interested in getting caught in the crossfire when, upon finishing his Reddit debate, he bans his interlocutor from the subreddit, and also those who have made similar comments to the one his interlocutor has espoused elsewhere in the thread. He does not always do this, and I would literally never make the claim that he just “ban everyone that disagrees with [him]”. I won’t call this hyperbole as I’m sure someone has levelled this incorrect accusation against him. 4THOT is capable — and has demonstrated on myriad occasions — of being able to have dispassionate disagreements. The issue is that I’m not interested in rolling the dice here with another ban.
Thus, I decided to avoid 4THOT entirely while participating in the sub as normal, making the usual shitposts. (Y’all are welcome for the template, btw. I went frame by frame, looking for the shot of Destiny at his most euphoric.) Alas, woe is me, I made a fatal error: I can’t avoid 4THOT if I choose to comment in a thread first. Browsing new, the bane of my existence, Hobbitfollower you dastardly devil.

The Nuke: A Muddled Statement and Different Interpretations

In the trenches of new, I came across a submission which posted this version of a Jerusalem Post article. If you've read The Six Points, then you can see what I'm attempting to do in my comment, that was apparently egregious enough to warrant banning me “until Israel/Palestine is over.” Before I go over this, I’m going to once again link the comment I made on this subreddit defending Israel from the accusation that they have been siding with ISIS for years.

Consistency

I apply the exact same methodology when dispelling conspiracy theories on Israel as I do for the UN official whose comments are the subject of the post. I’m digging up the relevant primary sources; I’m searching for archived versions of articles posted on inactive websites; I’m reading multiple articles from different Israeli outlets reporting on the same speech; and I’m reading the entire transcript of the nearly hour-long speech by the head of the Israeli Military Intelligence at the time, Herzi Halevi, just so I can make an informed comment here. At no point am I ever concerned that I could be banned for this comment. I can freely talk about anti-Israel propaganda, and I know no moderator is going to bat an eye at that.
I recently watched a Hasan video because dgg taught me the art of hate-watching, and now I hate-watch dgg while they hate-watch Hasan. Early on in the video, an article headline by the Intercept is shown: “Leaked Cables Show White House Opposes Palestinian Statehood.” Ken Klippenstein appears in the byline, which immediately sets off a red flag for me because I’ve found reporting by him in the past to be absolutely dreadful, including the time when he used to work for the Grayzone, where he gave Seymour Hersh a softball interview, and allowed him to spread risible conspiracy theories. The Intercept article shown in Hasan’s video doesn't provide the cables they are reporting on, but they are available on Ken’s substack. Without going on a tangent, unsurprisingly, the Intercept’s piece on these cables misrepresents them (IMO).
Similarly, when I had a discussion with a tankie on another subreddit on whether or not the 2010 Australian Labor Party leadership spill was “a US-backed coup”, I once again seeked out all the relevant and many Wikileaks cables, read them all, and made my own assessment.

Dolls

Enough examples! You get the idea! I have a consistent principle that I am applying here. Upon opening up the JP article OP submitted, I see Danielle Greyman-Kennard in the byline. This is a person who previously wrote an article claiming that a dead Palestinian baby was a doll (which is not the first or last time this has happened in general; Pallywood amirite?). When it was brought to her attention that this is a body going through rigor mortis, she doubled-down in a patronising tweet.
Eventually, someone at the JP realized the fuck-up, and the article was retracted. There are a number of journalists and writers for Israeli outlets that seek to publish or tweet out any information that casts pro-Palestine organisations or individuals in a bad light — and that’s fine. If you’re pro-Palestine, and you’re saying or doing some dumb shit, that’s on you, not the individual that wants to report on it. However, there are biases at play here, where one must be cognizant of how these biases can filter down into how information is presented.

Direct Appeal

The following is the direct appeal I sent when I was banned which will serve as a clarification on the comment:
What up, I initially disagreed with your assessment, but upon re-reading it, now I'm unsure what our disagreement is, and what you think I was trying to address in my comment. Hopefully, the following will serve as clarification.
When I opened up the submission, I read the headline, I read the article, I watched the clip contained within, and then I sought out any additional footage from the interview that was readily available. The safe assumption I make when it comes to article submissions on reddit is that folk are generally not going to read the article, and will likely only comment based on the headline. If the headline is poor, I might present information in the comments in order to ensure that the criticism is well-directed. The headline of the Jerusalem Post article is:

UN Special Rapporteur 'unaware' of rocket attacks on Israel

If you asked the average person what they thought this headline meant, they would think the UNSR thought there had been no rocket attacks launched against Israel ever or since the start of the war. As evidence that some came away with this conclusion, you can read [redacted link] here posted on [redacted subreddit] (emphasis mine):

This can't be real right? This is a fake article right? Or a satire piece? Because if they've lived their entire lives unaware of the rocket attacks, then they have no right having anything to do with the global politics or whatever it is the UN does. That's just insane.

In other words, this individual is in disbelief, and they're astonished that Reem Alsalem, the UNSR, is completely unaware of any rocket/missile attacks that have been fired against Israel ever. Here I hope we can acknowledge two things: (1) Alsalem does believe there have been missile attacks against Israel at various points in time; and (2) most pro-Hamas sycophants aren't going to deny these missile attacks have taken place -- they want these attacks to take place. Alternatively, they might seek to diminish the destructive capability of these attacks, or assert that it is Israel's fault these attacks are occurring. It's pretty rare to come across someone claiming they've never happened, period.
My comment was made to highlight that she was really caught up in the frequency of the attacks and how she was possibly misinterpreting the question. Reem Alsalem has a wide litany of dumb beliefs that you can criticize her on; in this case, I thought the criticism would be better directed for being unaware of the frequency of attacks. The JP itself does include a line that would have better served as a headline:

[UN Special Rapporteur] unaware of the frequent rocket attacks made by Hamas and Hezbollah against Israel.

As mentioned, I was trying to ensure that commenters didn't make comments like the one I linked. Re-reading my own comment, it could have been phrased better to make sure that those who read it understood my intentions.

Further comments

The rest of the direct appeal consisted of me clearing up any misconceptions that I might be pro-Hamas, providing various links of comments that demonstrate what my beliefs are. This my attempt to "pass the litmus test" as I don't believe I'm being engaged on the merits of my argument.
Once again, as I’ve hopefully established by now, we know there can be a widespread reluctance here to sometimes read past the headline and open the article, and even the article itself might not have sufficient context to truly parse what is being said. At the time, the only additional footage available from the interview was the five minute, heavily edited clip compilation available on the interviewer’s Twitter. It is just… irritating to watch. Partly because, as I said, I have to suffer through listening to Alsalem’s asinine beliefs, but also because it’s so chopped up that I can't quite tell what’s been cut out, what statements are directly following from which questions, and so on.
Other users also had interpretations of their own to give, taking note of the fact that there may be an edit after she says "but". I actually don’t think there was anything additional said, and it’s just awkwardly edited. However, unlike with Herzi Halevi’s speech, I and everyone else watching these clips are working with scraps here, and the segment that aired on Hazinor, Channel 13 is exactly the same. There is ambiguity here; an amorphous, nebulous, incoherent jumble of statements where one can make a range of interpretations — but one of those interpretations was not permissible on the subreddit. My own of course.
I’m still baffled as to what 4THOT’s contention here is. He comments:

!cleanse nvm you're an idiot. She says she has seen "attacks" but does not specify from where or whom or when. When he specifically asks if she's seen rocket attacks that have been reported from the north from Hezbollah and South from Hamas without "every single day" and is asked about rocket attacks from those areas says she hasn't seen it.

I presume the position he holds here is that Alsalem is being sly: when she says that she has seen attacks, she is actually referring to Israeli attacks, not Hamas or Hezbollah. For further clarity, I would have asked 4THOT:

• Do you think Alsalem holds the position that Hamas or Hezbollah have never fired rockets against Israel?
• If no, do you think Alsalem holds the position that Hamas or Hezbollah have never fired rockets against Israel since the initial barrage of rocket attacks on Oct. 7th?

In his first reply to my comment, he armed me and said I was his “strongest soldier.” 😳 Must have noticed these guns 💪😎. It seems like he originally agreed with me, and I don't know what impact, if any, this had on the ultimate decision.
I remember staring at this section of the unban request form thinking, "Err, I don't know." Like you all, when I've been banned by Destiny in the past, I know what to write here. He doesn't like snark; if you're being a condescending prick, get that ass banned. I have a general understanding of what sort of comments Destiny hates in this subreddit, and thus I know how to participate in the subreddit without being on the receiving end of a ban.
Taking the recommendation of another user, I cobbled together something for the unban form, and figured I'd just try again in a month. Alas, both the form and my last exchange with 4THOT was unsuccessful, and I would not have even attempted to send an unban request form to Ninou had I known that she had "orders to not unban" certain users. While I can understand that there may be certain users whose offenses are so egregious that a ban conditional on a lengthy period of time having been passed first is warranted, I don't believe I fall in this camp.
It's often stated by both Destiny and other moderators that the "process to get unbanned is pretty easy." Conditional bans tarnish the smoothness of this process, where good-faith unban requests are rejected due to the condition set, and I don't believe this should be the case.
If Destiny could offer further clarity here, that would be appreciated by both myself and others who have had this conditional ban placed upon them.

The Litmus Test:

Scroll up all the way to the top of Part 1, and what do you notice I've done in the preamble? I’m keen to avoid guilt by association; I believe Destiny just calls this being “webbed.” In the TL;DR I specifically mention the "pro-Israel crowd"; I know what this will invoke in the minds of people reading this, the associations people will draw to other people who have made criticism against the pro-Israel crowd. Thus, I feel the need to ensure that I dissociate myself from those people. That’s why you see the statement about Hasbara and brigading; it’s me raising a giant flag screeching, “Hey, I’m not like the others, this post is different!”
Let me give a couple examples here (suffer through some more examples…you must suffer…).

Example I - An Odd Title and an Audacious Inquiry

In this submission, OP posts a Twitter video with the submission title: “Reuters video shows militants armed with assault rifles atop aid convoy trucks and shooting at palstinians [sic] approaching the trucks.” Now, no one mentioned this in the comments, so to add some clarification here: this is not Reuters reporting, this is a clip from a Reuters live stream showing a view from a tent camp in Rafah. (Specific timestamp here.) Anyone watching this stream can clip whatever noteworthy event they see and add their own statements on what has transpired. As far as I can tell, that seems to be what the original clip here from N12 news has done, and it was also posted on their website, with no additional details.
This individual (henceforth called Doc) asked some fair questions. They made mistakes, of course, such as watching the clip on mute (you silly goose); but I would agree that “shooting at palstinians [sic]” invokes an image of, well, Palestinians being riddled with bullets, and instead we get what seems to be shots fired into the air. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask that the title reflect this distinction. What’s unfortunate here is that merely attempting to get an accurate summary is enough for OP to assume the worst about them, and thus we get the rebuke: “Keep dicksucking the terrorists stealing the aid.” I’ve seen Doc’s comments before, when they say they’re an “Israel stan”, they are. But for OP, they immediately engaged in “the web”, guilt by association, etc., and that was enough to result in this petty infighting. I thought leftists were the only ones that did that?

Example II - No Steelmans Allowed

In the second example, it’s me that’s on the receiving end of the purity test. Personally, as someone who is not a leftist (see what I’ve done there?), I do think a considerable number of y’all miss the mark when it comes to criticising leftists, and I attempt to steelman their positions as I find that to be more conducive for better discourse. Feel free to disagree with the steelman, the point is that merely providing that steelman is enough for OP to assume that these are my own positions — despite clearly stating multiple times that I’m not pro-Palestine, that I support Operation Prosperity Guardian, etc. Once again I bring up that I have defended Israel from silly conspiracy theories when they mentioned “your tribe”, as that’s my attempt to pass the litmus test, demonstrating my impartiality here.

Example III - ???

I'm not sure if 4THOT engaged in a similar type of purity testing both for the initial comment I was banned for, and also in my last exchange with them on another subreddit. The exchange was pretty bizarre: I asked if they checked Reddit DMs; they replied that they do, and “our agreement stands.” In their next reply, they mentioned that they confused me with another person, and said that, “Yes, once I/P is over I will let your people go.” That phrase “your people”, is quite similar to how the OP in the previous example said “your tribe” and “your side.” This seems to be the guilt by association I spoke on: I’m being lumped in with a group whose views generally don’t align with my own. That’s why part 1 begins with an introduction on myself. I need to pass the litmus test first before I can get good engagement — and it’s unfortunate that I feel compelled to do that.

Engage in good-faith

The conclusion here is a simple one: don't assume what positions your interlocutor holds merely because they're skeptical about that framing of certain stories, or because they attempt to provide a steelman for the opposing side.

Finito for Real

What I’m looking for here is clarity. UN officials will continue to say and do stupid things; that applies to pro-Palestine people, that applies to leftists. But every now and then, upon seeing one of these submissions, I might think, “Eh, this is pretty stupid, but I think it’s stupid for slightly different reasons to everyone else.” Can I express those opinions here? Must I add a preamble to every comment so that people don’t assume the worst? Do I need to be thinking, “Hmm, I wonder what 4THOT thinks about this story?”

Free me OOOO 🐟

Thanks to everyone that offered feedback. :)

Nature of Humanity Ch 66
A Rose by Any Other Name, Part 15
A Fanfic of u/SpacePaladin15’s work “The Nature of Predators.” Thank you for the story!
___
Memory transcription subject: Talen, Prime News Anchor
Date [standardized human time]: November 3rd, 2136
Hospital lights are infamous for being bright to the point of inducing migraines and eye fatigue. This is, of course, done for a ‘good’ reason. To discourage Predators from attacking hospitals for an easy meal. It’s common knowledge a predator will attack the weak, sick, and injured before attacking someone that can actually fight back. It surprised me when I learned this was one of the few ‘facts’ the Federation actually had, mostly, right.
Unfortunately, in practice all these lights have ever really done is attract bugs and the Arxur. Like a neon side at an all-you-can-eat salad bar, the power draw alone was a beacon for raids. This has led to many people choosing to suffer in silence rather than be admitted to a hospital.
My mind flashed to the angry Texan ranting about the poor quality of life we awarded to those less fortunate than ourselves. Thoughts of the older woman who confessed to us that her husband had been shot and left as a sacrifice to Human soldiers made me wonder if these hospitals were actually built to serve… another purpose. To act as a distraction, so the Federation can evacuate those they actually value.
I glanced at the doctor and nurse leaving Rose's room. My application to be her guardian was… weak at best, and still under UN review. Most likely they wouldn't provide me any information beyond just whether I could see her or not.
One of the Venlil doctors looked tear-struck as he gave one last glance back into Rose’s room. He quickly perked himself up or at least put the facade on as he walked over to the waiting room. He scanned the human faces in here as he asked, “McDermott? Talen McDermott?”
The sudden addition to my name caught me off guard to the point I just sat in stunned silence. After a moment of looking around he asked again, before looking at his notes with a confused look on his face. Before he left, I gently raised my paw into the air, “My name is Talen. Just Talen. I applied for guardianship over Rose McDermott. It's still in review…”
He cocked his head to the side for a moment before his assumptions finally broke, “Ah! My apologies. If you would, please come with me, sir.”
The doctor led me to his office and offered me a seat. As he started to type on his computer, he flicked an ear to the screen facing me as a QR code came up. As my pad downloaded the data packet, he began to explain, “Alright, so as you are aware Rose has been through… some traumatic events. Both physical and mental.”
I started to look through the data as he carried on, “To start with, she clawed out most of her eyes. The nerves at the back of the eye were mostly fine and took to the nerve plate well. When she's had some time to heal, it should be simple to restore her sight. The main issue we have is that the war is stepping up, and we are getting more people coming back in need of our cloning machines.”
He pulled up a small list of human prosthetic companies on my pad, “Which means we can't make Rose a new set of organic eyes for… the foreseeable future. Which is why we opted to prep her for Optics while we wait. These companies have been vetted as trustworthy manufacturers, and the Hospital we plan to transfer Rose to on Venlil Prime will be more than capable of handling the installation.”
By the stars, how close was I to failing to save her at all? I nodded my head as I bit my lip and tried to stay calm, “Alright. So she will have prosthetic eyes soon?”
He wagged his tail meekly, “Maybe in about [two weeks] if the healing goes fine. It's best not to rush nervous systems when it comes to healing. It's not an easy process.”
He showed me an X-ray of Rose's teeth, “Now as for her teeth, we were able to save those. They are set in place but still need time to heal. It will take about twenty-one days for them to heal to a point where she can use them as she would normally.”
He pulled multiple photos of federation friendly, Terran food up, “So soft food until then. Soups, leafy salads with nothing hard… I have included a list and a few links to human recipes that will more than meet her nutritional requirements while she recovers, as well as into her care under you until she ages out.”
My mind drifted to the pills she had been given, “Ok then uhm, what about the medication she was on? Something like that… It could…”
He gently laid his paw on mine, “Her system is clean and showing no signs of a chemical dependency. That doesn't mean there won't be mental factors involved that could encourage her to seek escape through pharmaceuticals again. So long as her mental needs are met, she should recover well.”
I glanced up and quickly wiped away a few tears, “Ok, then… I don't know if I am the best person for that…”
“A lot of her care will simply just be showing her love, affection and that she matters and there is nothing wrong with her being human.” He looked ashamed as he spoke, “She will still need… Human care. From my personal research into the field, Humans need physical contact to be healthy and deteriorate slowly when isolated.”
He leaned forward and flicked his ears for my full attention, “Also do NOT let any Federation trained Psychiatrist near her. The Humans are miles ahead of us in terms of psychology and the treatment of those whose minds differ from the norm. It won't be easy to get a human Psychiatrist, but Rose will be high up on the list of those available to get help. Partly due to her unique situation but also to her parent's service and sacrifice.”
I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. I will never be able to give her everything she needs, but I can at least hold the tide back long enough for those who can. I have an empty bedroom for her to make her own… I'm not far from a refugee center school, so it shouldn't be hard for her to interact with other humans in a friendly environment… Food costs are going to go up… Ah. I haven't been working… Kotaka isn't going to fire me, but I have used all of my vacation time for this… I let out a lite cough, “And payment?”
He gave a curt nod, “Already paid. Part of her compensation for her parents’ service and sacrifice.”
I hope they don't know how their daughter was failed after everything they gave for her, “I'd like to see her if that's possible.”
He stood up from his desk, “Of course, follow me.”
We left his office behind and navigated the winding hallways designed to hopefully slow an Arxur raider from clearing the hospital quickly. I could remember when hospitals were built with quickly traversing them in mind. It took nearly no time to get to Aylin when she went into labor… it took the Arxur nearly no time to get to her in the hospital she was working at.
He stopped just at the precipice of one of the room's and rasped his knuckles on the door frame, “Rose? Are you awake? Your guardian is here to see you.”
He flicked his tail for me to enter as he turned the lights on. Rose was sitting right there. Her bed had been raised to a sitting position, but her head was leaned against a pillow as she slept. The doctor flicked the light's on, and I angrily gestured that she was sleeping.
I felt a bit stupid when I realized why the lights being on wouldn't bother her right now. He smiled like both a Venlil and a Human and dimmed the lights to half brightness before ducking out of the room. I crept as quietly as I could to Rose's bedside, my unkempt nails clacking against the floor. Yet, Rose didn't stir as I sat in a nearby chair.
Every time we have met has coincided with some of the worst times for us. My mind blamed me. Not for my failure to control myself back during the exchange program. But for seeking her out. If I had respected her parent's wishes of us never speaking again, then surely they wouldn't have died. Earth wouldn't have been bombed. Rose wouldn't- Rose wouldn't- … I'm full of shit.
The events that led to this were primarily out of my control. Beyond my failure, I wasn't the one who convinced the Gojids to try and attack, nor was I the one who made the Krakotl actually do it. I didn't introduce that predator Venlil to Rose. He was just trying to help her. I did the only thing I could, and if I hadn’t… no one else was coming to save her.
I leaned forward and grasped her hand in my paw. Physical contact was proven to drastically improve a Human's ability to heal.
Her skin was cold under my paw pads. Would she call them beans like the lady who helped me find her?
Her hand flexed around mine, squeezing it with just the slightest amount of force. Have her dreams just changed? Hopefully, for the better. Will she awake and know who is here beside her?
With my free paw. I swept a blood orange lock of greasy hair from her face. It's been so long since I had the slightest glimpse of her face burned into my mind. Now half of it was covered in bandages.
I sat and waited as she rested. As time ebbed and flowed on around us, nurses would come in and check her vitals as she slept. Eventually, her doctor returned and unprompted explained the painkillers she was on were known to cause drowsiness. She likely hadn't been sleeping well.
He wrote me a short list of sleep aids that were human safe… well, rather he was until he decided to throw it away and write me a list of the ones to not give her. Humans were starting to become infamous for the toxin tolerance in the medical field as many doctors were uncomfortable prescribing such high doses of medicine for their new human patients.
Her thumb began to work its way through the fluff on the back of my paw as Rose slowly stirred awake. Her grip tightened a little bit as she groggily turned her head in my rough direction, “hrm… hello?”
My words caught in my throat as I tried to speak a dozen thoughts at once. Her hand pulled away in fear as she held herself in her arms, “I'm sorry! I'm sorry… I didn't mean to scare you.”
“No!” My right law landed on her shoulder eliciting a small surprised jump, “Don't apologize Rose. Don't ever apologize for just existing. You have done nothing wrong.”
Her hand found its way to my paw resting on her shoulder still and grabbed it. She looked confused as she tried to place my voice, “I- uh- who- Do I know you?”
Once again my words hung In my throat, but I squeezed Rose's shoulder and could see a small bit of the fear leave, “It's me Rose… I know I wasn't supposed to contact you but… It's me. Talen…”
Her hands flew to her mouth as her breath hitched in her lungs. I could hear sobbing begin as she tried to speak, “I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I-”
My free paw quickly found its way to her cheek as I stood up. I pulled her closer, into my arms and instinctively groomed her hair. She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed, and I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed just as hard. Her head sunk into the fluff on my chest as she began to sob.
I held her. As tenderly as I could. Memories of holding a young Elva, who had just come back from another terrible day at school, rushed back to my mind, “Rose, you weren't the reason- What happened back on the station had nothing to do with you.”
She managed to choke out a “But-”
I shook my head, “No buts. None. When the Arxur killed my wife, I was on a call with her. I witnessed it. When Elva was being bullied at school for being a little more assertive than normal, I had to stop the exterminators from locking her away in an institution. As a news reporter, I've seen so many supposedly good people do horrid things to those with no power.”
I groomed the top of her head to give me a chance to compile the rest of my thoughts, “So when I did my job as a journalist comparing what the Federation ‘knew’ about humanity and what humanity was saying about itself… I couldn't see what was the truth. When my Daughter wanted to join the exchange program with me… I only joined, so I could try and keep her safe.”
I ran my paw across the top of her head, “Then I met you. I forgot my fears. I never addressed them. Just buried. Then we were sent to different stations and I realized I couldn’t protect Her. When you finally walked into the room, I had been slipping into a panic spiral and… well… I broke. I was desperately trying to get to Elva, trying to rationalize what I have witnessed against propaganda against you, trying and failing to separate what happened to Aylin with what was happening then and I… failed to.”
Rose's sobbing had begun to calm down as we just held each other. I took in a deep breath and felt it catch in my lungs. The tear soaked fur on my face stuck to my it as I pressed my head to the top of hers.
She slightly pulled away but stayed in my embrace, “I'm sorry about Elva. She was so nice…”
The sorrow in her voice caught me off-guard, “Wha- why are you sorry about her?”
Her head dipped, “I- I saw your news coverage of the Cradle raid. I recognized her when it- when that Arxur killed her. If it wasn't for us- she wouldn't-”
I ran my paw over her head, “Elva didn't die. She is actually going on a special mission for the UN right now. Even then, it's not Humanity's fault that happened. If Humanity hadn’t shown up, the Arxur raid that attacked the other exchange station would have led to another raid on Venlil Prime. It would have led to all of us dying.”
I cooed over her, “Humanity has been a blessing every person in this galaxy has needed. For the first time in my life, I feel like things might actually improve. Humanity- No. You have lost so much. I know how much it hurts to lose your parent’s to war. Though, I had gotten the joy of spending most of my life with them. I am so sorry this has happened to you.”
She buried her face in her hands, “I miss them so much. I just want them back!”
I pulled her back into my arms, “Don’t let go of it, Rose. Everything you have of them still… carry them with you. Make sure the world doesn’t forget them.”
Her sobbing came back, thick, heavy and ugly, but I didn’t run as she gripped me with every bit of strength she had. I held her as she fell back asleep.
As gently as I could, I laid her back against her pillows and cleaned some mucus off her face. I was also grateful for the cleaning room they had in the hospital as I prepared myself to function as a pillow once more. It wasn’t long before she stirred again, “I’m right here, Rose. I am not abandoning you.”
She nodded her head as she held herself with her arms, “What’s going to happen now?”
I moved a fiery lock of hair out of her face, “Well… I have applied for guardianship of you… at least until you are old enough to live on your own. Then you can leave at your leisure. I- You are always welcome in my home. Speaking of which, we will be headed to Venlil Prime soon. It’s a better environment there. Most of the Venlil in Dayside city are human friendly. You are getting transferred to a hospital there and will be staying with me. I am also going to try and get you to see a human Psychiatrist. Well, I may also see if they’ll see me. I could use some help too.”
Rose didn’t laugh at my joke, “Meji. He- He was always kind to me. Even with everything that was done to him, he was just really nice and tried to help me. I know he’s a drug addict, but- I don’t think he will survive much longer here.”
I tried to steer the conversation away from that… man, “I- I met him… and I think he’s going to be able to take care of himself just fine.”
I could hear the fear in her voice, “No… he's… he’s only been on the streets for six months… and that’s what he looks like. I watched him lose weight… he's just not…”
Here I am… he's probably in the same boat that Tarlim was once in. What kind of fucking idiot am I!? Of course, every institute is going to be the same. I cleared my throat, “I know he got the attention of some human soldiers. They got him to see one of their doctors. If I know anything, then he is probably being helped whether he wants it or not. I will do my job as a reporter and get the scoop on him for you. But for right now, let’s… Let’s rest. It’s been a long road, and we haven’t had a chance to shelter from the storm.”
___/\___
It’s been a long time coming but these two are probably going to be fine… probably.
I CAN FINALLY EDIT MY POSTS AGAIN! WOOO! And man has things been rough irl. Almost didn’t have this weeks done. Just hard to focus with the exhaustion as well as everything else thats gone wrong. Welp! See you guys next week!
Special thanks to u/JulianSkies and u/callmefishy11 for proofreading! Seriously it felt like my eyes were melting out of my skull and your feedback was everything I needed!
___/\___
Directory
Library of BiasMushroom contains every link for everything I have written! Check it out as some stuff related to Nature of Humanity may not appear on HFY! As well as my little side stories and Fanfics of other NoP fanfics!
The Nature of Humanity
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A Rosey by Any Other Name
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For anyone posting to HFY do NOT select HFY first. It bugs out and doesn't work nice with copy/paste from google docs.

"Let's say the definition of temperature is "the measure of the average random kinetic energy of the molecules of a substance" and say that when we feel the temperature of an object when touching that object, what we're feeling is the difference of energy between our skin and that object (hot objects transfer energy to our skin, and our skin transfers energy to cold objects). This is why ice will melt in your hand, or a hot pan will burn your finger. Now, space is effectively empty, nothing. No molecules for a hot object to transfer energy to through conductance. Since there is no heat transfer through conduction, the only heat transfer is through radiative heat. Radiative heat is like holding your hand in the sunlight or near a flame, your hand gets warm, even though the air between you and the sun or flame does not, relatively speaking. This is the only way for heat to be transferred away from a source in space. Radiative heat transfer is very small compared to conductive heat transfer."
Here's the comment where I actually made a claim about my qualifications:
"So I just tracked down the initial research publication, let Google translate it to English, and did a quick scan read through of it. All I see is theory and vaporware with claims of "testing" but zero experimental data. Additionally, much of the paper doesn't really explain how the design would be useful for spaceflight, and it certainly fails to explain how it can be used for propulsion, let alone propelling a large spacecraft to Mars in six weeks. The linked article appears to be making up plenty of details to fluff up the headline, and would probably defend against this by claiming they were just simplifying the research for a layman's explanation. Typical Chinese propaganda in my opinion. If China told me it was raining outside, I'd go check for myself. Also, source: I have a BE in Nuclear Energy"
(I subsequently edited my comment to be more specific once I learned about my ban)
I have a Bachelor of Science in Nuclear Energy Engineering Technology from Thomas Edison State University, described here by the school. I can provide a picture of my diploma with my username covering my real name, however it only says Bachelor of Science and does not specify the program. The school does not offer unofficial transcripts to show all the classes I took with them to earn the degree, and I will not be paying the $15 or $18 or whatever it is these days to provide an official copy to some overbearing Reddit mod with a hard on for Chinese propaganda. If you see fit, please reverse the ban on principle, if you think I should remain banned from the sub, so be it. I only care about this in principle. Without principle, we are nothing but animals.
I do have a list of the following courses I took at this institution to earn my degree, in addition to my transferred credits awarded from military service and my previous undergrad institution:
CTR 212
ELE 211
ENC 102
ENG 201
ETH 230
HIS 121
NUC 351
NUC 490
NUC 495
POS 110
SOS 110
STA 201

My husband wrote a book. It is his own original work. It is a combination of handwriting and typewriter text. I need someone to transcribe it into a google or word doc. It is a total of 189 pages, but 65 pages have already been completed, so you would need to do the remaining 123. You do not need to do any of the photos (just type that there is a photo on that page). You can use google lens or any AI initially to convert it to text but you must verify that it transcribed correctly so the final document is correct.
I have attached 3 sample pages. 1) Sample of a page with handwriting 2) Sample of a page with typewriter text 3) Sample of a page of a finalized Google doc page. They can be viewed here. (I tried to find the rules on posting links to pics but couldn't find it so I hope an imgur link is ok.)
I would like the finalized transcription back within 10 days.
Edit: I don't know the going rate for this so if I respond to your bid, please tell me how much you will charge.

I spent some time in my transcripts looking for Alex talking about dreaming, and found these instances where dreams are something more. He doesn't want to say he's psychic, but he uses the old term 'having the touch', which he shares with his mom.
[2004-07-16]

I'm in the dream state, and I'm having some particularly vivid dream about the New World Order, and I wake up, and, you know, I'm sweating, and I just sit up in bed breathing deep, and I'm just like, they really are kidnapping millions of children. They really are. Putting cancer viruses in the vaccines. They really are putting this stuff in our water. They really did fund Hitler and Stalin. They really did put Fidel into power. They really are behind all this. This really is real. I'm really standing against this. What have I gotten myself into? But it's not even a fear. It's more of just a realization.

[2004-11-05]

PJW: I was having a dream about a member of my family talking to me about something, and I'm awoken to the sound of my cell phone, and it's that exact same member of my family talking about the thing I was dreaming about.

[2005-01-19] - Quoting Hurtubise on X-ray device defying all known rules of physics

I had a dream about a year ago, as to most of my other inventions, just a dream, and I saw it, saw the whole casting and everything. I had a dream about these three times, but the third time I had it in my head and I started to build it through the wall.

[2006-05-19] - Caller dreaming about future:

Caller Okay, do you want to hear about my dream about the future? In the dream, things got so bad that communities were surrounded with giant-sized box fences to protect themselves from
AJ I've got to let you go. But before I go to Tom and others that are holding, let me just comment on this. I don't go off of dreams.

[...]

But at the same time, I talk about dreams. About 10 years ago, It may have even been longer than that, probably 12 years ago, before I even got into this movement and got on the air. Well, to be accurate, I was politically involved 14 years ago, got on the air about 11 and a half years ago. There you go. But before I was on the air, I had this dream where I was going to visit my aunt and uncle in Fredericksburg. Now, at that time, they had lived in San Antonio and had just moved to Llano. They didn't live in Fredericksburg. I'd only been to Fredericksburg a few times in my life. Didn't have family there at the time. And you're driving into Fredericksburg, and there are Mexican troops with some other type of white European troops searching all of the cars. And in the dream, I've got a family with me. Now, I didn't know my wife then. I didn't have children with me. In the dream, and it was one of those dreams where you wake up sweating. It was like, man, that dream was important. I've had very few of those, and frankly... We're good to go. We're good to go. And in the dream, it's a checkpoint, I can't get out of it, and the car's rolling to a stop, I'm stepping out with an assault rifle in my hand, and then I wake up from the dream. I mean, I know this is the enemy, I know I can't let them get my family, and the car's rolling to a stop, I'm pushing the door out in front of me, I'm bringing up an HK-91. Now that's serious, folks. And you wake up from the dream, I had it several times, and... In the dream, you see Mexican troops with people pulled over. They've got army trucks. They're putting people in them. And then now, fast forward, three years ago, they sign a joint forces agreement with Canada and Mexico, Associated Press. Foreign troops to, quote, be used to deal with natural disasters and American terrorists patrolling the U.S.

[2007-05-18]

One time I had a dream about a mugging, and with a guy wearing a particular, uh, pink and green striped shirt. The very person then, a few months later, popped out of a corner and assaulted me. And I was so stunned that it was happening, it was, it was bizarre. I've had a few other cases like that. You know, like I knew the day my grandmother died, I said, we gotta go see her, and then the phone rang and she was dead, and it just happened unexpectedly. You know, things like that happen to everybody. But I used to have this dream where there were Mexican troops running a checkpoint with our own police in America. And see, they break the ice. And that dream used to... I used to have it a lot. It really freaked me out. And then, one time I was driving through a town and I said, I've been here. This is a... And family indeed did move there.

[2007-07-12]

I literally yearn to spend time with my family. I yearn to just go fishing and hiking and hunting. I just love to go out to some farmhouse for a month with a truck full of tents and guns and bows and arrows and oil paints and watercolors and toys and just hang out with my family.
I literally dream about it all the time, folks. But I cannot stop. I don't think I'm even going to see my family today. I have to just stay here.

[2007-08-06]

I literally dream about living in a shack somewhere, a shotgun shack off the back of a river, and working down in some tiny town pumping gas, folks,

[2008-11-30]

All I do when I go to sleep is dream about this stuff. I eat, drink, and sleep it. It's diabolical. We've got to come together. We've got to stop it.

[2009-06-17]

And you image the house and you have dream after dream where you're in the house. And this is a dream I had when I was like nine. And then years later, I'd always remember the dream. I see him building that very house on the hill. And it didn't click. I was like, why is that house so interesting to me? And then later that night, I was in there with a girlfriend in the neighborhood and I'm looking out the windows that hadn't been finished yet out onto the, you know, hills and woods and have the realization, wow, I've had this dream so many times and then remembered the full dream. And it wasn't deja vu. It was because I'd remembered it.

[2009-10-21] - About grandfather Jerry Jones, before knowing he was died

I had a dream about his death last night. So for all of you out there that don't believe in something after death, you're very, very foolish. And I don't know what planet you're living on.

[2009-10-21]

I had a dream about the Grim Reaper. I saw the Grim Reaper for the first time in my life. I witnessed it last night. And then I had a comforting dream after that and was there with others that experienced something similar. I'm sure of it.

[2010-01-26] About NWO

I dream about this stuff. I wake up thinking about it. I constantly have epiphanies and incredibly advanced understandings, and then later I read white papers written by top globalists That are as if it was written by me, but with the evil twist of that they're just openly stating it and saying it's good.

[2010-04-13]

I can't quit desiring to warn people. It has overtaken me. It's all I do. It's all I think about. It's all I dream about when I'm asleep. Because I understand how dire the straits are and how serious the costs are.

[2010-06-22]

I dream about the New World Order. I dream about legislation. I dream about the enemy's next operations. I dream about executive orders.

[2010-06-29]

I know this, what we pray for, what we dream about is what our mind then imagines and then what we manifest. In 1900, Max Planck, as I started the show talking about, the German physicist envisioned nuclear quantum and atoms and splitting the atom. And by 1934, other physicists had already written out nuclear reactors. They never split the atom yet. And then by 1939, they split the atom, and you know the rest is history. That's what the human mind can do.

[2011-02-24]

This is Glenn Beck taking all the hardcore research I do where I work 18 hours a day and even dream about this information when I'm asleep and I put it together with my team that bust their butt and then I watch him take it and twist it and manipulate it so they can control the left and the right in this synthesis setting up this world government.

[2011-11-01]

He's talking and I'm remembering all this because you're having a dream about the CIA injecting people with live polio and claiming that the program Was supposedly to get DNA, so you could find out if Bin Laden was staying there, when that has nothing to do with it, like Bin Laden was out there getting vaccinated.

[2012-10-31]

I dream about work. I dream about research. I work while I sleep. Last night I had dream after dream of managing people in the office.

[2012-11-22]

No exaggeration, 18 hours a day and even dream about it. Because once you get obsessed with something and you've got a decent brain, the world opens up.

[2012-12-30]

In fact, it's gotten to the point where I dream about politics, and I dream that I'm video editing and researching.

[2013-04-26]

I dream about this stuff. I can't play outside with my kids or go fishing. All I'm thinking about is news and the New World Order. And then I do so much research, I get on air and can't even talk about it all because I just know too much.

[2013-05-07]

As many people do, things that you're focused on, you dream about. [..] I eat, drink, and sleep Veritas. I want Veritas.

[2013-05-07]

And when you study reality, when you study governments and political systems like I do, no exaggeration, 18 hours a day, I even dream about political situations in the New World Order.

[2013-09-12]

I can't do... I dream about this stuff. I'm in the shower thinking about it. I can't shut it off.

[2013-12-03]

Man, I tell you, getting ready for the news is just something that's an ongoing, pretty much 24-hour-a-day process for me because I even tend to dream about politics and geopolitics and issues and what's happening in the world.

[2015-05-15]

I'll tell you one of my most recurring dreams. It's basically different variants, it's not really a dream it's a nightmare, of the 1982 or whatever it was remake of the thing put out by John Carpenter but it's not set in, it's not set in Antarctica. It's just set like in neighborhoods, and then I've got my family, and people look like they're normal, but they're not, and the entire biosphere, the entire genetic code of the planet, the trees, the grass, everything has been overtaken, and then my children get overtaken. And absorbed right in front of me, and it's just intense grief and pain watching my family killed in front of me. And I have that dream, different variants, all night long, about once a week. And what it is, is my brain getting me ready to just deal with losing everything. So that I don't fear when I'm conscious and awake. But when I sleep, I do. That's the kind of stuff I dream about. Then I have political dreams where I'm just like at work reading news articles and having political understandings and it's like I'm working while I'm asleep. I have those type of dreams. I have dreams where I'm video editing. I have dreams where I'm carrying the trash out. I have dreams where I'm fishing. I have dreams where I'm back with one of my grandfathers, You know, camping. I basically have a wide spectrum of dreams. I have dreams sometimes where I'm like, it's in all this vivid color, and it's like you're on a space station, but it's nothing like you've ever seen or imagined. There's just all these beings of light, and like space bridges, and interdimensional gates, and of course it's, you could say it's human imagination, whatever, it's fantastical. Those are the type of dreams I have.

[2015-12-22]

I dream about this stuff. I live it always. I know it's real. It's all out in the open. And, man, these people that are taking over are really bad.

[2016-07-20] - Fighting globalists

I dream about it. I live it constantly. I'm hyperventilating on air thinking about it.

[2016-08-17]

I just dream about work all, I mean, the entire night I'm just working.

[2016-09-12]

I had a dream about a month ago, I told people around the offices that were, she's had a debate with Trump and like falls over, it's like going like this, and they just go, we're liberal, we have to give it to her now, and she fell over.

[2016-11-07]

I dream about it. I jump out of bed. I run around like a crazy animal just wanting to fight. I'll be at midnight just doing more.

[2017-10-08] - CIA asking Stanley Kubrick how he knew about Plan R & B52 decoders

And he had to tell them, I just had a dream about it.

[2018-08-21]

And I've been having a dream about volcanoes and earthquakes and meteors hitting the earth.

[...]

I don't get into this a lot, but I do have the, you know, what they call the touch. I don't think, most people that claim they have it are con artists, and they can't control it. No one can control it, in my experience. In fact, the way to control it is not to control it.

[2019-03-24]

I had a dream about Jeff Bezos, like, last week. Because I have, like, these dreams where I'm doing PowerPoints, I'm giving speeches, I'm doing... I like work during my dreams. Sometimes it's my best work time. And in my dream, I'm sitting there talking to Jeff Bezos, and Jeff's like, I ship stuff in from all over the world and have millions of employees here in the U.S. and you say I'm the worst big tech giant.

[2019-05-13]

So the strangest thing about this last night, I had a dream about this last night. I woke up at 3 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep. I had this dream. I had this dream where I was interviewing the medical doctor that worked at four state prisons overseeing medical wards.

[...]

Now you know what was funny about the dream? My eyes popped open at 3.02 a.m. And I went, that's not a dream. I interviewed that doctor.

[2020-07-08] - Caller dreaming about Alex

Caller Well, two and a half years ago, I had a prophetic dream about you that was in Technicolor imagery and whatnot.
AJ By the way, I had a discussion with Tim Fruge this morning about dreams the last few nights, and he said it's like cartoon Technicolor.

[2020-07-09]

I dream about the lockdown and the New World Order now. I don't even have regular dreams anymore. My wife doesn't. It's all we talk about.

[2020-08-24]

When I go to bed at night, I dream about fighting the globalists and how to stop them.

[2020-12-17]

I only dream about this stuff 90% of the time, used to 5% of the time. I have basically no life other than this. It's all I do. And I still feel like I'm not doing enough, but I'm not going to quit.

[2021-07-08]

I used to dream about fantasy stuff and, you know, things didn't make sense. Now my dreams are all like work. When I'm asleep at night, it's like how to raise my children better. Where should I move? What should I do during the collapse? What am I gonna... How do I get right with God? And last night, it seemed like 20 years I was asleep. And I was just praying to God and talking to God and just... I think all of you are going through that right now because We're going to look back, as I said a year ago, on that as the good old times.

[2021-09-15]

This is all I dream about. You know, I used to have dreams about interesting things, boring things, wild things. Now I just dream about this. I'm at the office all day in my brain, when I'm awake, when I'm asleep, because it's just so incredible that we're just sitting here on air while they censor everybody and sue the Gateway Pundit and sue One American News and Newsmax and sue us and they say the goal is to bankrupt us.

[2021-12-23]

I had a dream about you last night, but I couldn't remember the dream when I woke up. When I got up, I said, I got to get Zelenko on today. And then I said, what was the dream about? I couldn't remember. And then I just remembered that I said to myself, well, Zelenko kind of says the same thing every time he's on, just like you do. It's not an attack. It's true. Same emergency message. But I said, no, today's going to be different. And then I intended to come in here. And talk about depopulation, talk about the UN, talk about Schwab, and talk about... She wasn't even by name, but those same groups, and then here you said it. This is amazing. And I'm not trying to be weird about it, it's just true, so I feel like I should have said that.

[2021-12-23]

I had a dream about him. Couldn't remember what it was like. Get Zelenko on. Usually he can't come on short notice. He could today. So this is meant to happen.

[2022-01-13]

I had a dream about Stuart Rhodes last night. God is my witness, before God, all my children. And I had a dream about Stuart. You know these dreams were all foggy but he was key and I wanted to love him and he wasn't bad and I'd been wrong even though I hadn't set it on air and I need to reach out to Stuart and get him on air but Stuart's a jerk and arrogant and he'll think you're just manipulating him and he's paranoid but that I needed to reach out to Stuart. And here we are. The sixth sense is real folks. We're all connected to the universe and God. We're all psychic.

[2022-01-13]

By the way, I've never had a dream about Stuart Rhodes. Had one last night. Woke up at 3 a.m. Went back to sleep. More Stuart Rhodes dreams. I mean, this is some big stuff going on, folks.

[2023-04-25]

I had a dream about him four or five days ago. It was a dream like, I'm around a table with Ted Gunderson and Red Beckman and Bob Fletcher, literally having a discussion about how to defeat the New World Order. And so I went to the producers and I said, call Bob Fletcher, see if he's still alive. And he is. And so he's coming on the show tomorrow.

[2023-06-16]

I dream about the New World Order all night long. I roll out of bed thinking about it when my feet hit the ground, and I make a lot of mistakes.

[2023-09-12]

I had this incredible dream where my mother's mother, my grandmother, Benny Hamlin, was there. She just said, I love you so much. We're so proud of you. Whether you think that was really me meeting her in heaven or whether it was my brain building, that didn't matter. She was there and she said, give me your hand. I held her hand. She said, we are so proud of you. I never had dreams like that until I fought evil. Now, every night I have dreams like that. I get to see my grandparents, and people I don't even know, they go, I'm your ancestor. I get to meet these incredible people.

[2023-10-30]

And all I dream about now, basically, is wargaming all this. I mean, I'm literally at work while I'm asleep, constantly. I mean, I've just shifted into a mode, and that's how I know all this stuff. Because the subconscious is much more powerful than the conscious. And my subconscious is totally turned over to beating these people. And that's where we're getting all this advanced intel.

[2023-11-20]

And committed now in my every waking hour and when I'm asleep, all I do is dream about this now. How to beat the enemy.

[2023-11-21]

And finally, I've seen what I dream about every night, but even more intense and more powerful.

[2023-12-08]

30 minutes ago and said, hey, I've had experiences where I haven't seen somebody in 10 years, well he can tell the story, and I have a dream about him, and then I see him the next day. We all have those experiences, and that shows you there's a lot more than what we just perceive and see visually, and that's where God comes in.

[2024-04-15]

And about two years ago, I had dream after dream where God said, you need to stop working 18 hours a day. You need to spend time with your family. You need to keep doing what you're doing. But you have committed your mission. You have been successful. And I was just given a feeling of total peace. And I said on there two years ago, I have completed my mission. Jack Posobiec retweeted it.

[2024-05-05]

When I go to sleep at night, I just dream about fighting the world order. Trying to work problems out. Researching my dreams. It's basically all I do other than spend time with family.

It's been hard to find time to write this past week, but I'm chugging along, however sluggish. I also want to give a huge thanks to u/icallshogun for telling me how to use new-old reddit, because it's already saved me a bunch of time posting this single chapter.
I have a bad habit of last minute editing before I post chapters. I'll usually go over once or twice and switch up a few things. I didn't this time. Why am I telling you this? No idea. Enjoy.
A little PSA: if the next chapter button is missing, it's most likely in the comments (either that, or the next chapter isn't out yet), because sometimes reddit likes to say posts are more than 40k even when they aren't, making them impossible to edit. I just had this problem adding the link to chapter 12.
Many thanks to u/SpacePaladin for making NoP!
Prev -First- Next
------------------------------
Chapter 13: A million miles away
- Memory Transcription Subject: Arlene Brandy, Human Refugee
Date [Standardized Human Time]: October 20th, 2136
The refugee center crested the horizon, with UN banners draped from the second story, and signs marking some of the nearby buildings as temporary housing. I wondered how exactly they convinced people to hand over entire buildings for use. One of them wasn’t even an apartment building, it was offices.
There were more humans around, of course, with the venlil population extremely sparse, only a few brave enough to be anywhere near the ‘den’. I grabbed the door, and opened it, revealing the main lobby, which to my utter surprise, had a venlil at the desk along with a human.
It feels so weird to point out when people are human or not, but that’s just how it is now. I ambled towards the pair, keeping my movements slow and calculated, not to scare the guy. He noticed, and let out a chuckle.
“No need to worry about me ma’am. I’m quite used to humans by now.”
I relaxed, blushing a little. “That makes sense.”
“What do you need?” The venlil asked.
“Oh, I’ve been meaning to get one of those datapads. I have family at home I need to get in touch with.”
“And you are?”
“Arlene Brandy.”
“Uh huh.” He clicked at the computer for a moment. “Well, you’re a little late to the party. We just got five hundred or so new residents, so we’re out of new pads, but I’m sure you can find someone willing to let you borrow theirs.”
“Shit.”
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience. You’re staying at Golden Ridge apartment 113, correct?”
“Yes, why?”
“I’ll have one sent to your door when we get a new shipment.”
“Thank you.” I turned to leave.
“Wait, we wont get more for a few paws yet. Why don’t you try asking to use someone else’s?”
I turned back around to the desk. “Can I use yours?”
"Sorry, mine doesn’t connect to the Earth networks.”
“Shit.”
“Please try not to swear so much, there are children around.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
The guy at the desk was so comfortable around me that it started making me uncomfortable. While the human at the desk didn’t even register me. I bet he was playing solitaire.
I entered the common room. People ambled, walked, teetered, and even ran around, from door to door and table to table. Seating was plentiful, but there weren’t any free spots, because the place was so packed. There really were a lot of them. Refugees, I mean. This was only a tiny fraction too.
How many more? Is there an end to it?
I searched for someone to approach, but found nothing. Everyone was grieving. I didn’t want to interrupt. I didn’t want to see it, I didn’t want to know it was there. My stomach turned in a horrible spiral, and I soon found myself bent over a toilet, ejecting breakfast. I was drooling over the bowl like a rabid dog, eyes watering and legs quaking. My diaphragm expelled one last gust of air, in a horrible coughing fit that lasted uncomfortably long.
I don’t know how I found the bathroom without help, it wasn’t marked very well. I’ve always been good at that sort of thing I guess, whatever ‘that sort of thing’ is.
On my way out, I washed my hands twice, not that it made a difference. The common room was still full of chatter and sobbing, quiet and boisterous both in their own right.
A man in a dress shirt sat alone at a table with his head in his hands. A mother cradled a baby in her arms, rocking him to sleep. In the corner of the room sat a group of people sitting on the ground playing monopoly. A boy ate a droopy sandwich next to a parent, munching listlessly. They all looked so tired. So tired that it could suck the breath right back out of you.
At one of the tables was a man with burns on his arms, and another bandaging him up. He winced when the bandages touched the splotches where blisters used to be, dry and scabbed. There was a good chance the burns were inflicted on purpose, by them. Monsters.
He locked eyes with me, his empty like all the rest. My head jerked away, embarrassment on my face like dye, the mask doing little to hide my frenzied posture. I power walked to another part of the room, behind a group of people conversing. I took off my coat so I wouldn’t overheat in the stuffy room… and also to blend into the crowd.
Staring at burn victims? What is wrong with you?
I looked down at myself. My boots were brown, my pants were black, and my shirt was as well, with a picture of an album cover on the front. My hands were twitchy, and my arm was still bandaged. I could’ve, should’ve lost the dressings by then, but I hadn’t got around to it. I put my coat back on
Since I wasn’t getting anywhere, I decided to take a trip down the hallways, into the dorms, where it was less crowded.
Down the halls, past a few turns, was an open door, with warm light spilling out, and cheerful discussion taking place inside. Taking a peek, I saw a group of 3 people, one of whom was a venlil, playing cards. The funny thing, is it was one of those grungy decks with pictures of naked ladies on them. Well, I don’t know if it was funny, but it stuck with me.
“Hello?” Spoke the venlil.
The other heads turned in my direction. I was discovered. A pang of cold crawled through my spine.
“O-oh, hi.” I tried and failed to act like I hadn’t been watching them for several seconds.
“Hey there, are you one of the new arrivals?” Asked the girl sitting next to the venlil.
“Uh, no, I’ve just been living in a different spot.”
“No wonder you look like shit.” Spoke a middle aged guy with scars. There was an ankle monitor on his leg, though I certainly wasn’t going to question him about it.
“Ben! Don’t be rude.” The girl replied.
“I’m not being rude. We all look like shit. Some of us are shit right now.” Ben mumbled.
“Well you don’t have to be so nihilistic about it.” She turned back to me. “Wanna join us? We could use a fourth.”
“No thanks. I’m trying to get in touch with my family.”
"Well if they’re here, I can find them. I know everyone here.” Said the girl, with a big grin.
"They’re on Earth. I just need to use someone’s datapad. The guy at the desk said we were out of new ones.”
“Did you break yours?”
A nervous laugh escaped me. It felt so weird to have a normal conversation. The last time I talked to a human was only a few days ago, but it felt much longer. Years maybe… or not. My shoulders felt tight, probably from the extra weight. I swallowed a lump that had been growing in my throat since leaving Earth, and my stomach got heavier as a result.
What did she lose?
I cleared my throat. “N-no, I never got one in the first place.”
“Well, no worries. You can use mine if you want. I’m Taylor by the way.” She smiled.
I didn’t smile back. The mask would’ve hidden it anyway. “Thanks. I’m Arlene.”
She handed me the weird alien phone, which I soon realized I didn’t know how to use.
The venlil piped up. “Want me to do it for you?” He stood up.
“Yes please.” I handed him the datapad.
He started tapping away at the device. “These things are super outdated. The interface is really clunky, especially the UN comms.”
I loomed over his shoulder, watching him type in a bunch of stuff into text boxes. “You have to login to make calls?”
“No, this is just the path the call will be taking. Where are you calling?”
“Wisconsin.”
“Where is that?”
“North America.”
*“*Okay, there we go.” He handed the datapad back to me. “Just type in the phone number and you’re good to go.”
“Thanks.” I started punching in the number.
“No problem. I’ve had to do it for Taylor a million times by now.” He chuckled.
“Hey, I know how to do it now!” She replied.
“Then why didn’t you show her how?”
Taylor snorted. “Because then you wouldn’t be useful anymore, and I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
“Whatever you say.” He flicked his tail.
“Hey, enough with the snarky tail language.” She crossed her arms.
“What did he say?” Ben asked.
“He said I was a goober.”
I looked up from the datapad. “You have a tail sign for ‘goober’?”
“Of course we do, why wouldn’t we?” He shrugged.
Ben raised his eyebrows, and Taylor laughed. I was still wearing the mask.
"Hey, do you mind if I uh… you know.” I pointed to my face.
“Oh please, you couldn’t possibly be uglier than Taylor.”
“You better be careful Talnek. You’d get a beating if you insulted a lady where I come from.” Ben stated.
Taylor punched Ben in the shoulder. “He’s just messing!”
I removed the mask, and set it down on a table. “Is it alright if I make the call outside?”
“Sure, as long as you don’t manage to brick the thing.” Talnek said, sitting back down at his cards with a snicker.
Taylor shot him a dirty look.
“Thanks again Taylor.”
She grinned like a little kid. “No prob bob!”
I stepped into the hallway, holding the datapad up to my face, and pressed the call button.
It rang.
And rang.
And rang…
Until the display lit up with the face of my dad. My lips curled up in a smile.
“Hey dad.”
“Ope!” He flinched, then grinned. “Hey there sweetie. Havin’ fun up in space?”
“Nevermind that! Are you guys okay? Did Luke make it back alright?”
“Oh we’re doing fine yet. Luke got discharged because of injuries. He got pretty banged up in a crash, but he’s alright.”
“Is mom around?”
"Sorry kiddo, she’s out of town getting gas for the generators.”
My eyes widened. “Generators? Is the power out? Have you been able to get dialysis?”
He rolled his eyes. “Oh don’t worry yourself. We’ve got diesel running the place.”
My hands left marks of sweat on the device. “You are getting your blood cleaned, right?”
“Yes, I am. Even if I wasn’t, your pa’s still got some fight left in ‘em.” He patted his bicep.
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “Jesus dad, you had me worried for a second there.”
He chuckled. “Don’t be. Try to have fun up there. No use worrying about somewhere you’re not.”
A sigh escaped me. “I’ll try.”
“That’s my girl! How are the aliens treating ya?”
I frowned. “Well, if I’m being honest, most of them are assholes.”
“That so?”
“Yeah, I mean, I’ve met a few that don’t mind me, but I can count them on one hand.”
“Well that’s better than nothing, ain’t it?” He raised an eyebrow in a joking manner.
I smiled a little. “I guess so.”
“So, tell me about these nice aliens then.”
“Sure- Hold on, is Luke there?”
“He’s sleeping right now. Doctor’s got him on the good stuff.”
“Is it that bad?”
He shouldn’t have enlisted. Asshole. He’s such an idiot. He could have died! “I wanna meet aliens” my ass.
*“*The doc says he’ll be up and at em in a few days, but the pain is still kicking him.”
*“*Is he alright? Like, is he shellshocked?”
Dad frowned. “I was hoping you wouldn’t ask.” He looked past the camera. “He’s pretty bitter about the whole thing.”
My blood ran cold. I knew what it sounded like when he was downplaying something. “Dad. Is he gonna be okay?”
His expression softened. “Luke’s a strong boy. He’ll be okay.”
“He better. I’ll kill him if he’s not. You be sure to tell him that.”
Dad laughed. “Sure, sure. Back to the aliens, if you will.”
“My bad.” Warmth filled my face. “So there’s this guy who lives in my apartment building, right? I come back home after a day of trying, and failing, to get my hands on any materials, craft materials are super expensive here for some reason, by the way, and he’s coming home at the same time, so I say hi to him, and he jumps me!”
Maybe things would get better.
“Their claws are sharp! He scratched me up pretty bad, look.” I raised my arm to the camera, and my dad gasped in response.
"Whoa, that’s a lot of bandages.”
“Yeah, right? I may have put too much actually. Anyway, he charges me, and so I put him in a headlock, and I yell at him to calm down. It might have been a misplay on my part, I have to admit. What, with the venlil thinking we want to eat them and all that jazz.”
Dad nodded, eyes full of stars. This was nice.
“Well, he starts crying, and now I felt like an ass, so I try to calm him down, but he’s not having any of it. So I hand him a doll I made, but that didn’t do much either, so I ended up just having to leave him there. Would you believe it if I told you he came knocking on my door the next day? He wanted to learn felting!”
He burst into laughter, having to wiping a tear from his eye. “I have to say, you have the strangest way of making friends.”
Maybe I was worrying over nothing.
“Oh, I forgot to mention, so, I was trying to get wool, right? But there’s obviously no sheep here on venlil prime.”
“Oh, don’t tell me.”
“So I went around offering free haircuts.”
Dad started wheezing like he had sand in his lungs. He struggled to point a finger at me. “S-so…” He burst into another fit of laughter. “You went around with shears, offering haircuts to the fluffy aliens who think you want to eat them?”
“Yes, that’s exactly right. I give damn good cuts too.” I grinned, face full of mischief.
“So this friend of yours took you up on the offer? What’s his name?”
“Meba. And yes, I sheared him.”
“Okay, Meeh Baah? Are you pulling my leg?”
“Nope, that’s his real name. It means ‘little person’ in venlil, apparently.”
“You’re kidding! That is priceless! What happened then?”
“I sheared him, and then we went inside, and I taught him how to felt, and he got all flabbergasted when he saw me eat vegetables. He did this,” I held up a pointer finger, closing my eyes. “and then he said ‘You can’t eat vegetables, you’re a predator.’”
“Uh huh.”
“So after that, to skip to the good part, he has me follow him to work to *‘*protect him from humans’, and on the way back, just as we’re getting back to the apartments, he collapses in the hallway, hyperventilating and shaking.”
Maybe I could finally calm down.
“Oh no, was he okay?”
“Yeah, I brought him inside and calmed him down, but then the exterminators barged in! He stuffed me into a closet to hide me.”
Dad’s face swelled with disgust. “Ah yes, I’ve heard of them.”
“Well, they mess up the whole apartment, and they only leave because Meba is friends with their boss.”
“He’s buddy buddy with those folks?”
“Well, I don’t really know, but he used his connections to protect me, so I don’t mind. I was scared shitless the whole time. I barely kept myself still.”
“But you’re okay, right? They didn’t hurt you?”
"No, I was fine. I kind of blew up at him though. We made up though, and now he’s even comfortable around me with the mask off!”
“Mask?”
“The UN makes everyone wear masks in public so we don’t scare people.”
“I didn’t know it was that bad.”
“Yeah… it’s kinda scary sometimes.”
Home was still there.
“Don’t worry. I’m sure the rest of em will fall for your charm soon enough.”
“Yeah. After all, who could hate such an enchanting young lady?” I made a not so dignified face.
Dad shot a silly look right back, making us both laugh at our shared stupidity.
“So, since everything’s intact, when should I come home? I should be able to pretty soon.”
He smiled. “Hey, don’t worry about that. You should stay up there until the power comes back in… oh I don’t know, it should be on in a week or two. No reason to come back when the town is still out of whack.”
“What? But I can help out. Isn’t there work to be done?”
His eyes were warm. “Arlene, just have fun. We’ll be fine. Come home when it’s more comfortable.”
What?
“But I miss you guys.”
“I know, I miss you too.” He glanced off to the side for a moment. “But just wait a little longer. I want to roll the red carpet out for you. We’re not going anywhere.”
“Fine, but I expect a royal welcome.”
“Of course.” He grinned. “I better let you go, I have to make dinner.”
“Oh.. okay. I was hoping you’d be able to tell me about what’s going on in town.”
“Nothing crazy, just the usual but with flashlights instead of street lamps. Say hi to Meba for me.”
“Okay. Bye dad.”
“Bye kiddo. Try not to worry yourself so much.”
“I’ll try. I love you,”
“I love you too.”
He hung up the call, and home was gone again.
I popped back into the room to give Taylor her datapad back.
“How’d it go?” She asked.
“Good. I think.” I grabbed my mask, and handed her the device.
She smiled. “I’m glad. Want to stay for a bit? Today is pizza day.”
“I’m good. I should probably head out. Thanks though.”
“Wait a second, here.” Taylor handed me a card.
I turned it over in my fingers. It was off white with gold lettering. A business card. Very… eccentric.
“What’s this?”
“My info, so you can get in touch with me when you get a datapad. I’m kinda the self appointed caretaker of this place. If you need anything, anything at all, I’m your gal.”
I took another look at the card. “Thanks. It means a lot.”
“You’re welcome! See you later.”
“See you.”
---
I sat on the bench by the office, legs crossed, working on a mini venlil, my third one actually. Yes, I was building an army. An army of little venlil that I would use for… something. Each one measured no more than four inches tall, with floppy yarn tails, and bits of blue yarn affixed for eyes.
They say the one who folds a thousand paper cranes will be granted a wish. What do you get for one thousand woolen venlil?
“Arlene?” Meba was walking towards me. His eyes were unfocused, and his tail was motionless, like a doll’s. He dragged his feet on the ground, and his bag weighed on him like a heap of iron. To put it bluntly, he looked like shit.
“Oh hey there. Done with work?”
“Yeah. What are you making?” His voice was monotone.
“More mini venlil.”
He leaned over. “It looks like me.”
“It is made out of your wool. It would be worrying if it didn’t resemble you.”
“I guess. Does this one have a name too?”
“Not yet. Do you have any ideas?”
He thought for a moment, ears swiveling like satellite dishes. “Mulek.”
“Mulek it is. Is that a common name?”
“It was my father’s name.” He didn’t elaborate.
“Oh, speaking of which, my dad says ‘hi’.”
“He’s the… rancher, right?”
“Yeah.” I got up off the bench. “He’s not as scary as he sounds. If you met him, you’d realize his head is just full of muscles and fart jokes. Ready to go?”
He flicked an ear, and we started walking. The sheer complexity of venlil body language never failed to impress me. Not the ear flicks, those were easy, but the tail signals were insane.
“Hey, Meba?”
“Yeah?”
“What’s your job?”
“I’m a computer scientist. Why do you ask?”
“You look really tired. Six hours, sorry, I mean a claw and a half. It’s a long shift for venlil right?”
“Yes, but my job isn’t very physically demanding.”
“It isn’t taking a toll on you?”
“No.” He lied. I mean fuck, did he think I was stupid? I wasn’t, I think. If it wasn’t his job, it was something else.
“Really?”
“Yes, I just didn’t sleep well.” His eyes were drooping in real time.
Fine, be like that. If you won’t open up, I’ll just help another way.
“Do you want me to carry you?”
Meba stopped in his tracks. “C-carry me?”
“You aren’t very heavy. I could give you a piggyback ride the rest of the way.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“C’mon, I could use the exercise.” I crouched down, beckoning him over with my hands.
"Arlene, I can walk on my own.” He sounded offended.
"At least let me carry your bag.”
Meba sighed. “Fine.”
I stood up and grabbed his bag. “And away we go!”
We arrived at the station, just in time to catch the tube. Meba yanked his bag out of my arms to swipe his card through the terminal. This particular transport was packed to the brim with people, more than a few of them human. Meba visibly stiffened. He sat down, I remained standing.
“You okay?”
“Y-yeah. It’s just a-a lot.” He most definitely wasn’t, he was trembling like a leaf.
I stood between him and the crowd. “Better?”
“A l-little… thanks.”
“Hey, why don’t you work on the scarf, take your mind of things?”
“S-sure.” He grabbed the yarn ball from his bag, along with the crochet hook. Slowly, he removed the clip that was stopping it from unraveling, and stuck the hook through, starting right where he left off. He was definitely getting faster.
The tube rattled.
Outside, the city still breathed.
Kids coming home form school, people like us, coming home from work.
Same old same old.
In my mind, I pictured a fleet, swooping through star systems, making daring maneuvers, shooting down other vessels. So many lights. I imagined the metal stretching, and the hull creaking as it moved. I imagined the little people inside, scurrying around like ants, each wholly insignificant, but still, moving that massive shape.
I turned around to check on Meba.
He was still shaking, like a wet dog in the snow.
God, I miss Milo. Too bad they don’t let dogs on venlil prime.
I put a hand on his shoulder. “Are you gonna be alright?”
He looked up at me, with his funny little eyes. They were full of anger.
“Yes. There’s nothing to be afraid of.” He let out a breath, clenching his jaw. “It’s so s-stupid it makes me sick.”
“Sorry?”
“There’s no t-threat. I shouldn’t be scared.”
I gave him a gentle shake. “Hey, it’s no big deal. You’re doing well.”
“I’m doing h-horrible. I hate these stupid instincts.” He growled. “H-how is this supposed to be an evolutionary advantage? I can b-barely think straight.”
“Take a deep breath.”
“B-brahk this.” He muttered. “You k-know, we’re famous for being w-weak. The b-best in the whole brahking f-federation.”
I frowned. “Don’t say that.”
“We c-can’t run, and w-we can’t fight.”
“That’s not true and you know it.”
“I can’t even c-control myself. I h-hate it.” He let the scarf slide back into his bag.
“Meba, you’re the bravest venlil I’ve met.”
“What d-does that say about us? That I’m one of t-the ‘brave ones’? It’s brahking p-pathetic.”
“Don’t say that about yourself.”
“Brahk! What else am I supposed to say?” He hissed, head finding its way into his paws. “It’s horrible. Horrible, horrible, h-horrible.”
I sat down next to him, and put my arm around his shoulder.
“This is s-so stupid.” He muttered.
“Tell me what happened?”
“No.”
A sigh escaped me. This was exhausting. “Okay.” I pulled him close.
He removed his paws from his face to look at me. “How am I gonna t-talk to Gram’s friend like this? I can’t even h-handle being around a few random humans. How am I going to deal with him e-eating in front of me?”
“You saw me eating, didn’t you?”
“That’s… d-different.”
“We don’t have to go if it makes you uncomfortable. I’m sure they’ll understand.”
“N-no. I need to d-do this. I can’t keep b-being scared all the t-time.” He clutched at his fur.
I bent over to grab the work-in-progress scarf from his bag, and offered him the half finished garment.
Meba received the scarf, with eyes full of ash. “Thanks…” He continued weaving.
But before he could get into a groove, the brakes forced us to brace ourselves. We were home.
The ground still rumbled as we left the station, even with the rubbery pavement dampening the vibrations. The scent of rain was in the air, carrying with it a special tint from the alien soil. Wind was billowing now, whipping my hair and pushing against my thick greatcoat. Meba was somehow unbothered by this, thanks to his wool I assume. There weren’t clouds overhead, but that would change. My hands hid in their pockets.
‘Twas too cold madam!’ Said lefty.
‘Not for I! It’s simply more comfortable in here.’ Said righty.
We passed the yard, heading up to the second floor, and my apartment. I shivered.
*“*I think it’s gonna rain soon.”
*“*Huh? Why do you say that?”
*“*It smells like rain.”
He tilted his head, ears flopping along with it. “I thought human noses weren’t very strong?”
*“*Well, not for most things, but we can smell when it rains from quite a ways away.” I opened the door, and stepped inside, yanking my feet out of their shells. “Come on in.”
Meba followed with no hesitation, even when I deposited the mask on the coffee table. He plopped down on the couch, deflating for a few seconds before digging around in his bag for the scarf. I grabbed some snacks from the kitchen, and brought them to the couch. I plopped down beside him, and flipped the TV to a random channel. Hopefully lazing about would help both of us.
After a few minutes of zoning out to The Exterminators of all things, I managed to doze off somehow. Sights and sounds melded into goop, as my brain ceased exact function. Facts became obscured, no concrete understanding remaining. Static resonating with time stretching like putty, everything subjective, only in the moment.
A tower, in the desert, numbly stalking around crumbling balconies, arms like swarms, legs like chicken wire. No need to blink. Down below is something terrible, but it doesn’t matter. It is safe here. But snow falls, the sky tearing like an old t-shirt, is it? The weave becoming tighter, it stretches along the north, through to the south, a taut little line of cotton. Now I’m tearing too. The tower isn’t crumbling, but folding. ‘Here’s the sun’, I think, mind reeling back to wakefulness, a snout by my face. Milo?
“Who?”
“Huh?” I tried to sit up, bringing a hand to the kink in my neck. My mouth was dry with viscus saliva, the aftermath of a nap. When I made it about half way up, my skull collided with Meba’s freakishly solid face.
I fell back, gripping my forehead with a groan.
Meba jumped back, startled. “A-are you okay?”
"Ugh…” I curled up into a ball to further cradle the lump growing on my head. “Owwie…”
He started hyperventilating, almost jogging in place.
I grabbed him by the arm. “I’m fine. That just hurt like hell. What is it?”
The squirming stopped. “Sorry for waking you up. I just wanted to know if you think this is long enough.” He held up the scarf to my face, which was still partially covered by my other hand.
Jeez, more than enough. That thing must be at least 80 inches. How long have I been out?
“Yeah, need me to help you finish it off?”
“Yes please.”

DISCLAIMER: I'd like to note that I do not consider myself an expert on many of the topics he talks about or even economics in general but a lot of what I'm about to say is pretty easily verifiable and basic, and I'll try to be clear that I'm expressing my opinion and not fact when I'm doing so. Given my lack of expertise, none of what I say here should be considered as the final authority on these topics, it's a reddit post for fucks sake, I encourage everyone to search up the relevant data and information on the topics they are interested in or claims they find dubious. It's really not that hard and all the links and data I'm gonna cite here took me less than five minutes to find for each piece of information. If you're not familiar with where to find this data it might take you longer but I promise that anyone with access to the internet can do the same thing I'm doing. Finally, for those looking for some opinionless, academic argument, that's not what this is, this is gonna sound like a rant because it is, I'm posting this for nothing more than my own satisfaction, take from it what you will.
Ok I'm writing this after I finished the whole thing and I said that I'd try to be clear that I'm expressing my opinion and not fact when I'm doing so and the basically entire second half of this is my opinion and I don't make that very clear so sorry about that.
Honestly I'd love to be wrong because I really do think that younger people are at a disadvantage compared to previous generations at the same age but the arguments he makes and the data he uses throughout his talk just sound like such bullshit to me.
https://www.ted.com/talks/scott\_galloway\_how\_the\_us\_is\_destroying\_young\_people\_s\_future?
https://www.profgalloway.com/war-on-the-young/
Scott Galloway recently did a Ted talk titled "How the US is destroying young people's future", as well as an accompanying blog post. He's made some fair points about how young people have been put at an inherent disadvantage and that they have it harder than previous generations. That's most likely true and I personally support that point of view, but the a lot data and numbers he makes this argument with seem to be cherry picked, misleading, or just straight up wrong. So let's break his talk down. u/JustTaxLandLol made a pretty good post about him comparing median wages to the S&P500 (https://www.reddit.com/badeconomics/comments/1cc3rs8/scott\_galloway\_compares\_median\_wage\_to\_sp500/) but I think that Galloway's mistakes are much more comprehensive than just that particular slide.
The first slide with data makes a claim about how pre-tax income, adjusted for inflation, has decreased across generations from grandparents to parents to kids, and that cost of public colleges and home prices have increased significantly across generations too. First of all, categorising generations by whether they have children or grandchildren is kinda nuts. That's a very wide, overlapping, range of ages. If he has actually fixed age ranges for each generation that don't overlap and just made these categorisations for the sake of understandability to a nonacademic audience, I still think that's the wrong choice but fine. However, his claim that real income has decreased across generations is weak at best. This working paper (https://www.federalreserve.gov/econres/feds/files/2024007pap.pdf) from the Fed Reserve was published February 2024, and from the figures that start at page 35, shows that by almost every categorisation they could think of, GenZ earns more at the same age than every previous generation before them. There's some conflict here with Raj Chetty's work but I don't have the time or knowledge to reconcile the two perspectives but at best, the pre-tax income numbers Galloway presents are questionable at best. Furthermore, he doesn't provide anyone a chance at even checking the sources he gets this information from. Not once in his entire talk does he cite a single source. He couldn't even have some tiny text at the bottom of his tables or diagrams saying what organisation he got this data from. Ok so that crossed out bit is wrong, he does have sources they're just very very faint and you can see them if you squint hard enough at the bottom left corner of his graphs. But the source he gives for this slide is a joke. Here's the link https://www.profgalloway.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/Table-01.png
His "source" is his own analysis. Ok so by his analysis, the average cost of public college is 56000*0.43 = 24080. I'm gonna use numbers from this US News page (https://www.usnews.com/education/best-colleges/paying-for-college/articles/paying-for-college-infographic), which might not be the most reliable source in the world, but it's probably somewhere in the ballpark. So according to US News, average tuition for the 2023-2024 school year for out of state students going to a public school is 23,630 and 10,662 for in state students. If these numbers are anywhere near accurate, the only conclusion I can draw is that Galloway has cherry-picked his data by only including the cost for out of state students in his analysis. First of all, public schools in the US are there to provide affordable access to higher education FOR RESIDENTS OF ITS STATE. Using only out of state numbers is absolutely ridiculous. Secondly, even if he used only the in state numbers, 10662/56000 is approximately equal to 19%. So if I use his very very questionable pre-tax income numbers, cost of public college for in state students has still increased across his categorisation of generations. It's not like his point would have been invalidated if he had used the in-state numbers, a trend of tuition increasing as a percentage of real income across multiple generations is still very bad. This is my opinion but I guess that he just wanted to find a nice shocking number. I didn't catch this but in their post, u/JustTaxLandLol notes that later on Galloway says "real median income from labor is up 40% since 1974" so he's also contradicting himself in the same talk.
I couldn't be bothered to look into the house price to income column he has so I don't have any comments on that.
His next slide is a point about how the percentage of 30 year olds earning more than their parents did at 30 has been decreasing very significantly over time. This is from a paper in 2016 by Raj Chetty (link: https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.aal4617). I've seen some counterarguments about the methods used in the paper but there are counterarguments for basically every inequality paper in existence so I'd take them with a grain of salt. Those points are more complex than the scope of this post and I lack the expertise to be making them anyways so I believe this slide. I'll admit that Galloway makes a good argument for this slide.
Right after this slide he says "As a result, people over the age of 55 feel pretty good about America, but less than one in five people under the age of 34 feel very good about America. This creates an incendiary, righteous movement...". He supports this with data on the percentage of US adults who feel "extremely proud" to be American.
Before I talk about the data on this slide, I'd like to be a little anal about things and pick apart his wording and causal claims he makes. When Galloway says "as a result" he's making a causal claim about the relationship between a young person's earning ability and their national pride. Leaving aside the econometric issues of making random causal claims, this is a ridiculous marginalisation of all the other critically important issues in the US. It seems pretty clear to me that reduced national pride amongst younger individuals is a combination of a lack of social mobility (or however you want to word your version of the fading American dream), the continued existence of systematic racism and sexism, US response to ongoing conflicts in Ukraine and Gaza, bodily autonomy (abortion), and many other issues. Not to say that the economic disadvantages of young people doesn't play a role in causing this lack of national pride but come on. He also says "this creates an incendiary righteous movement...". Ok if the "as a result" from the last sentence could be interpreted as the economic disadvantages of young people play some part in their dissatisfaction with the government, it should be obvious to anyone not living under a rock that many of the political conflicts and movements that have erupted in the US over the past few years have little, if anything, to do with earning ability. In the slide after the poll data he shows three photos, one of a MeToo protest, one of a BLM protest, and another of a pro-Palestine protest. I can only interpret this as him making the claim that the younger generations economic difficulties are causally linked to those movements, which is totally bananas.
Now lets talk about the data. He got this from the Gallup polls (link: https://news.gallup.com/poll/394202/record-low-extremely-proud-american.aspx, there's a link to download the pdf with the poll numbers at the end of this article). There are 5 options for the Gallup poll: "Extremely proud"; "Very proud"; "Moderately proud"; "Only a little proud"; or "Not at all proud". So Galloway is cherry-picking again. To be fair, it's true that even including the rest of the answers, a quick glance at the data suggests (very strongly) that young people are less proud than older people. There are also more young people who choose "Not at all proud" (11% for 18-34 and 1% for 55+). Though there is probably some argument to be made about whether "extreme" pride is a good thing. Furthermore, "pretty good" and "very good" do not reflect the extremity of choosing, well, the most extreme option.
As an introduction to his next slide he says that "a decent proxy for how much we value youth labor is minimum wage". I've never heard of this before and am very very skeptical but I'm willing to attribute this to my own ignorance so I'll leave that sentence alone. So on this slide there's a graph with two lines, one is minimum wage across time adjusted for inflation, the other is whats supposed to be minimum wage if adjusted for productivity (also adjusted to inflation I assume). Galloway got this data form the Economic Policy Institute (EPI) (https://www.epi.org/productivity-pay-gap/), which shows that this gap between productivity began around 1979. This was when Carter was president and right before the Reagan administration. Those who know about the economic history of this time probably won't be surprised since a lot of the policies of this time were rather inegalitarian and heavily favoured the wealthy. I agree that many of the policies of the time contributed heavily to the inequality America faces today and though I haven't read any studies about how this affects minimum wage workers, I believe that minimum wage workers or low income workers in general today have significantly lower purchasing power relative to a few decades ago.
What I have a problem with here is the idea that productivity and minimum wage should increase in tandem. According to the EPI, "Productivity measures how much total economywide income is generated (i.e., for workers, business owners, landlords, and everybody else together) in an average hour of work" and "pay is defined as the average compensation (wages and benefits) of production and nonsupervisory workers. The pay for this group is one appropriate benchmark for 'typical worker pay' because production and nonsupervisory workers have made up roughly 80% of the U.S. workforce over the entire period shown in the figure and because the data for production and nonsupervisory workers exclude extremely highly paid managerial workers like CEOs and other corporate executives". Before I try to break down my complaints with the measures used, my immediate reaction when I saw this was that it seems rather stupid to compare the relationship between average productivity and minimum wage in an industrial economy against the same relationship in a service oriented one. There are just more jobs now that let you make an impact on the economy far beyond what you are paid and it is so so difficult to quantify this change. Using a similar argument, I really have no clue how macro people make models or do estimates for things like productivity but I'm quite skeptical about the reliability of using such a measure of productivity because of the increased prevalence of second, third, or n-th order effects that would be present in a measure of something like total gdp but pretty much impossible to identify for any employer. For those who want to read more about this difference between productivity and compensation I think this is the most relevant paper from EPI (https://files.epi.org/2015/understanding-productivity-pay-divergence-final.pdf). There are some points I'm not satisfied with in this paper like them attributing the entirety of the difference between median hourly compensation to average consumer hourly compensation but that would take more time than I want to spend on this.
Now we're still on the same slide. Galloway says "we've kept it [minimum wage] purposely pretty low" twice in three sentences. Now he's suggesting that there's some collective out there that has the political power and desire to keep minimum wage low. By "we" I think he means to suggest that the old-timers have banded together to screw the young people over. Ok buddy. I'm stepping outside the bounds of what's considered strictly economics here a little but pinning the injustices of society on some ethereal enemy whose existence can never be disproven is the same as taking "advantage of the flaws in our species with medieval institutions, Paleolithic instincts, and godlike technology" (Galloway's words, same TED talk) to me. Maybe there really is some cabal of scheming geezers out there who have some twisted desire to keep the minimum wage low, but I'm more inclined to believe that a lot of these "injustices" are a result of our existing political and societal institutions being poor and inefficient aggregators of our desires as a society, rewarding selfishness instead of cooperation. This certainly makes the problem harder to solve than if there were just some evil 'others' we could get rid of and be done with. Having a target to direct our outrage at, believing that I am good and they are bad, is easier than facing the reality that everyone is born with the selfishness that creates the injustices we live with but that's not gonna make people more agreeable. As an economist, I study the theory of incentives to use the same human selfishness that creates all the problems Galloway talks about to create solutions that hopefully improve our quality of life. This is what I believe is the beauty of being human, all the good and bad that happens stem from the same desires, it is our job to create institutions and systems that allow us to channel our desires in a way that benefits everyone, but I digress. The point is, this enemy that Galloway creates is an effective tactic at convincing people of his argument, but I don't believe such a perspective benefits society at all. Mistakes should be corrected, that doesn't mean they're always the result of ill intentions.
His next slide compares the difference between percentage increase in median household income against percentage increase in median home price, as well as a comparison of the median monthly mortgage between 2019 and 2024. I have nothing to say about the graph, I agree that over time, home prices have increased to an unacceptable level. The Fed funds rate went from 2.4 percent in Feb 2019 to 5.33 percent in Feb 2024 (https://fred.stlouisfed.org/series/fedfunds). To his credit, Galloway does attribute this increase in mortgage payments to "an acceleration in interest rates" but what's the alternative? Don't increase interest rates? Then if I was Galloway I'd make the same TED talk and talk about how the continued low interest rates contributed to rampant inflation that made all the poor people even poorer. It seems like he's decided to take whatever bad economic event that seems somewhat relevant and made it to be the result of some group's dogged determination to keep the younger generation down. Why is the increase from pre- to post-covid prices on anything surprising. I'd like to meet the genius who saw covid coming and intentionally created this increase in home prices.
He also says "the most expensive homes in the world, based on this metric, are number three, Vancouver. Why? Because 60 percent of the cost of building a home goes to permits...". I have no idea what point he's making here. Based on what metric, median home price? Monthly mortgage payments? Why do I care about Vancouver, a Canadian city, being number three? Then he talks about how "the incumbents that own assets have weaponized government". Either he's switched to talking about oligopolistic lobbyists in general without saying so or he's still talking about Canada. I dunno. Someone please explain. Then he says "this is the transfer I'm going to be speaking about". Also, everything he just said is talking about how there exists a group of people trying to PREVENT transfers of wealth to new entrants. And there was huge applause after that sentence. Nutsos, all of them.
Ok next slide. Galloway presents two pie charts, comparing the share of household wealth by age in 1989 to 2023. So he's talking directly about inequality in wealth now. Inequality in the US is really really bad, that's a fact. I'm a big fan of the work of Emmanuel Saez, Gabriel Zucman, and Thomas Piketty. These people have been at the forefront of research on inequality for many years now and though their work is not flawless, I'm convinced by the data they present and the methods by which they have aggregated the data and what they show is that inequality is worse than even what the pie charts Galloway presents suggest. However, this is not to say that Galloway makes a valid argument. Please note the grey bits in the pie chart. If Galloway has shown the numbers for everyone under 40 and above 70, the group that's excluded are those between 40 and 70. So those in the age range of 40-70 owned 100 - 19 - 12 = 69% of household wealth in 1989 and 100 - 30 - 7 = 63% in 2023. I could probably go and find how the age demographics of the population have changed over time and I think that with declining birth rates, the percentage change in age demographics would be pretty close to the percentage change in household wealth but I'm tired of beating every slide to death so I'll leave that to someone else if anyone's motivated enough to do that (if my hypothesis is wrong here just comment and I'll make that change). My first thought when I saw this though was again, this guy has paid no regard to structural change in society. Given the increased accessibility of buying stocks over the past three decades is it really that surprising that older people who have had more time and cash at the start of the digital age to invest in companies that are now massive mega-corporations have experienced a higher return on their capital. This is not to say that none of this change in the share of wealth held by those under 40 is due to some inherent unfairness in our society and I have neither the time nor knowledge to separate these effects out but to say that this was a "purposeful" effort to cut their wealth in half is complete and utter bullshit. Also, this guy makes another causal claim WITH NOTHING BUT A CHANGE IN SHARE OF HOUSEHOLD WEALTH. Congratulations everyone Scott Galloway has just made every econometrician in the world redundant, I always knew my professors were just trying to confuse me with funny symbols and Greek letters, someone get this guy a Nobel Prize.
Then while introducing his next slide Galloway says that his analyst's presence in the audience "brings the average age of the entire conference down in 11 days". So he's saying that TED knows exactly who's showing up to their event before it happens and that they have the exact birthdates of everyone in the audience too and that they've given this information to one of their speakers. A friend of mine has told me he's just making a joke and that I should let this point go because I'm being too anal about things but yeah I become anal about things when someone suggests sweeping institutional changes in a talk viewed by millions of people so thought I'd include it anyways just as another example of the bullshit this guy has been spewing.
When he moves on to the actual content in the slide the first point he makes is about lower acceptance rates in schools. So I don't have data on this because I couldn't be bothered to go find any so again, I'll change my statement if anyone has reliable data indicating otherwise but I think its pretty safe to say that way less people used to apply than before and combined with an increase in international student applications and enrollments the competition is just way higher than before. The most obvious explanation would be that higher education institutions have made the mistake of not increasing enrollments at a rate quick enough to meet demand. However, according to US News (https://www.usnews.com/education/best-colleges/articles/how-many-universities-are-in-the-us-and-why-that-number-is-changing) there were 3982 degree-granting postsecondary institutions in the US. and UCLA is ranked 15th in national universities. So why is it surprising now that university education is becoming more popular that higher ranked universities are harder to get into. So instead of expanding enrollment I think that a well thought out plan of affirmative action would be a much better option of giving "unremarkable kids and giving them a shot at being remarkable" (what this well thought out plan may be I don't know, I honestly didn't even search up any statistics about affirmative action this was just the first solution I thought of that didn't involve ignoring the crowning achievement of statistics). To his credit, Galloway does include a point about income-based affirmative action at the end of his talk, though he overwhelmingly emphasises increasing enrollment in schools. I don't have any data about that but I think that class sizes at public universities are large enough as it is.
The rest of the slide gives numbers on college debt of house price compared to first year income. College debt is ridiculously high and many people struggle because of it. I don't have the solution and neither does Galloway because he doesn't really mention it. I think that house price-to-first year income is a poor comparison because it doesn't take into account average rate of income increase and no normal person from any generation is looking to buy a house with first year income but there's probably a more appropriate metric out there that shows a similar change anyways so I'm ok with that.
Then he talks about him and his "colleagues" who "artificially constrain supply to create aspiration and scarcity". I would like to meet the professors who have control over enrollment rates because none of mine did. Then he says "to my colleagues in higher ed: we're public servants, not fucking Chanel bags". The marketing professor from NYU says he's a public servant...ok.
The slide after that compares Harvard's increase in endowment compared to their increase in enrollment and he calls them a "hedge fund offering classes". I see no issue with this point, he made a great argument, can't really criticise anything here.
Don't worry though he makes up for it by immediately making one of the most egregious statements in this whole talk. We're looking at his next slide, the one titled "Grand Bargain" now. He says that the government should take some of the money that's supposed to be used to forgive existing loans to about 500 of the top public universities to reduce tuition by 2% and year, expand enrollments by 6% a year, and increase vocational programs to 20% of the degrees granted. Then the slide after that, claims this will double freshman seats and cut costs in half in just 10 years. Ok so he thinks that most of the money "earmarked to bail out the one third of people that got to go to college on the backs of the two thirds that didn't" should go to future students instead because, I assume from the tone of his words, he doesn't think they need or deserve all that loan forgiveness. So why bring up the increase in college debt previously (the slide I talked about three paragraphs ago)? Anyways that's not the crazy thing. Let's see what happens if you reduce tuition by 2% a year for 10 years. So the calculation goes like this 0.98^{10} is approximately equal to 0.81. So with the number he puts up, tuition decreases by 19% in ten years. If everything before this slide could be attributed to cherry-picking, stupidity, or lack of good data, then fine he's just ignorant even though he shouldn't have been if he went up there to make that talk. But now this is just a FUCKING BAREFACED LIE. I cannot think of a greater insult to the audience's intelligence than the fact that this guy didn't think anyone would pull out a fucking calculator and do the calculation themselves. I won't blame the audience for not saying anything because I'm not sure I would have wanted to do that either but at least from youtube and reddit comments there are a decent number of people who didn't realise this. A similar calculation shows that expanding enrollment by 6% per year increases seats by about 80% total (1.06^{10}). Not sure how that translates in terms of freshman seats but at least this is closer than the tuition claim.
Then his next slide compares wages to the s&p500. This is the point of u/JustTaxLandLol's post and I think his post and the discussion in the comments covers most if not all of my thoughts so you can just read that. https://www.reddit.com/badeconomics/comments/1cc3rs8/scott_galloway_compares_median_wage_to_sp500/
Ok next slide, "The Transfer: Purposeful". Oh yay he's about to make another causal claim with nothing but a graph on the change in top marginal tax rates for corporations and individuals. And if we skip ahead to the next slide we'll realise that this claim is that the gradual decrease in top marginal tax rates for corporations and individuals results in lowered senior poverty and child poverty either remains constant or increases. Yes everybody the newest advancement in economic research has just been released. Lowering top tax rates decreases senior poverty and increases child poverty. And Scott Galloway made that argument in 24 seconds (transcript on TED website has time markers).
Man I really set out with the intention to keep the tone of this post as neutral as I could but I'm just writing out my internal dialogue with less swearing now. I apologise to those who would have preferred a more careful and less emotional knee-jerk response of an analysis but this is a reddit post, its not like there are standards.
Now he moves on to talking about social security. Galloway says "it would cost 11 billion dollars to expand the child tax credit. But that gets stripped out of the infrastructure bill". So zero explanation about why it would cost 11 billion dollars to expand the child tax credit, why not more or less, no comment about how many children it would affect, how much money it would mean for each child or family, just some number that you have to accept. Most of the time there's no why to the amount of funding that the government allocates to policies but at least there's some breakdown to how its going to be used, Galloway doesn't even have that. This is before we even consider the fact that child tax credit was expanded this year (https://www.cbsnews.com/news/child-tax-credit-2024-who-qualifies/). Maybe he's talking about some other issue that I'm not aware of but I don't think so. He says he got the social security spending data from the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, which is a think tank. I don't want to sort through their website to fact check so I'll accept it as the truth but as far as I know the actual social security administration releases their facts and figures for the year August of next year so I'm not sure why he didn't just use the 2022 numbers from a more reliable source.
His next few couple slides are about the increasing age of politicians. I think this is a great point but he probably should have used a better example of a younger politician than Justin Trudeau.
Then at around the 10 minute mark, using his slide titled "Generational Theft", Galloway claims that "we pumped the economy" during covid so that the Nasdaq would gain value, causing "intergenerational theft". I don't know if he thinks it was intentional or not but how is he going to completely ignore the fact that the stimulus checks were primarily for households that were struggling due to the greatest unemployment rate we have seen in our lifetime (https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2020/06/11/unemployment-rose-higher-in-three-months-of-covid-19-than-it-did-in-two-years-of-the-great-recession/). I'm really kind of tired of this so I'll let those at the CBR make my argument for me. "Within the first 10 days, households spent an average of 29 cents from every dollar received. The bulk of this spending was on food, rent, and bills" (https://www.chicagobooth.edu/review/how-effective-were-stimulus-checks-us). Damn so turns out struggling families did need these stimulus checks pretty urgently. Shocker. I also think that most people in finance would agree that tech stocks surged over covid because people needed fucking technology... People built PCs to play video games, used online shopping services because they couldn't go to malls, all that.
The next slide is supposed to support his point that the increase in stock prices doesn't allow young people to find "disruption". What. The only thing that matters to any investor is the percentage increase in value of the stock price after you've invested. It doesn't matter if 7 dollars is 1 share of apple or 0.04 of a share of apple. Its stock price going up by 100% means you get 14 dollars either way. I think this guy's arguments are getting dumber as the talk goes on, I actually had to go and find data to refute his points earlier on. Now arithmetic does the work for me, I should have hired a grade schooler to do my analysis.
His next point is about how algorithmic content selection is bad. Yeah its bad. Its bad for everyone, turns everyone into psychos. Though I think there's a very good argument to be made about how such content could affect developing brains. He makes a point about age-gating social media at the end of the talk. This is actually the only drastic measure he proposes that I agree with so I'll leave this alone too.
After a couple slides about Zuckerberg and TikTok (which I agree with, though I think Zuckerberg's damage probably leans more towards older people than young now), he gives a bunch of graphs showing upward trends in all sorts of terrible things happening to young people. Every single one is an issue of critical importance in the US, but importantly, no comparison to older people. For all we know, the trend on every graph could be the same or even worse for older generations. If I had written about this first then I'd go and find the data for it but at this point I just want to be done with this but can't stop without getting to the end so I'm just gonna slap this slide with lack of comparisons and move on.
His next slide shows the difference in 30 to 34 year olds who have at least one child, some of that is probably due to family planning but I still think its a great indicator of people not wanting to have children because its not affordable. Great point, I believe in it.
Next slide, oh god it's a happiness report. I think happiness reports are a fun conversational tidbit but I see no way for it to be reliable enough to be used as an argument in any semi-serious setting. That said, I have no idea how they do these measurements so maybe I'm wrong.
As if the happiness report wasn't bad enough, Galloway is gonna compare the biggest one-day market cap gain (in an unspecified time frame) to the budget of several policies implemented by the government. Oh man. This is too stupid, there's so many things to pick from it'd take too much effort to sort through them. Someone else please make the argument for me.
Then he says universal basic income should have been called negative income tax. Wow the frequency of good points is going up, though I think this is accompanied by an increase in the frequency of absolutely idiotic arguments.
Then he says we should eliminate capital gains tax deduction. The issue of taxing capital gains is a very serious one, but I don't think it actually matters that much how much we tax realised capital gains. Again, not an expert but here's my understanding. If you have a high net worth with a lot of it in stocks and you need cash, you don't have to sell them and get taxed on the realised gains. You go to the bank and say I want to borrow money, I'm going to put these stocks up as collateral so if I can't pay you back you can take these stocks which are somewhere around the value of the principal amount plus total interest over the course of this loan. Because the bank is now convinced they'll get the money back regardless of if you make the payments or not, they say ok here's the money you asked for at a nice low interest rate. Then you take the money, you keep your stocks, which will probably gain value at a rate that exceeds the interest rate by a pretty decent margin, and you can probably make your interest payments pretty easily because hey, you were rich to begin with. If you're really strapped for cash a couple years down the line, you can sell some of the stocks that are now worth more than they were before and cover your payments and not have to pay taxes on the rest that you don't have to sell. Free money. There's plenty more ways to avoid taxes if you're rich but you get my point by now. Now that's a lot of problems without a solution. Luckily we have some economists far more skilled than I am who work very hard to find solutions to these problems. Here's one example of a policy that may help (https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2024/05/03/opinion/global-billionaires-tax.html). This is an opinion piece written by Gabriel Zucman (famous economist), for the New York Times. If you don't have an NYT subscription, sorry for giving a link you can't read but if you search Gabriel Zucman billionaire tax, you could probably get a decent idea of what this talks about. Here's Zucman tweeting his proposal for his suggestion (https://twitter.com/gabriel\_zucman/status/1763253132572729623). It probably requires a little more thinking than the NYT article but he did present this at the G20 so that might sound more exciting to you than some news article.
Then Galloway says "we need to remove 230 protection for all algorithmically-elevated content". Zero mention on what 230 protection is so here's an explanation (https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/47/230). Basically that was a fancy way of saying that companies should be held accountable of the content on their platform, even if it's posted by an unrelated third party. I'm not sure getting rid of it in its entirety is a great idea (though I have no arguments against that except Orwellian ones) but I certainly agree that most if not all social media platforms have abused this protection and it should be at the very least restricted. To what extent? Again, I have no clue.
Then he goes "break up Big Tech". That's the whole suggestion. This is a terrible idea but the fact that he doesn't elaborate more on how to do this, the ramifications of doing so, or really provide any explanation at all makes me automatically ignore this. Then he makes his point about age-gating social media, like I said before, I agree with it.
His next suggestions are universal pre-K, great idea, then "reinstate the expanded child-tax credit". Not sure what he's going on about here, child tax credit exists and like I said before, was just expanded. Then it's income-based affirmative action. I don't know what kind of affirmative action is best and that sounds like an interesting idea so I won't criticise it. I think the rest of his suggestions are pretty normative arguments so I'll leave those alone too.
Don't get me wrong, I wholeheartedly agree with the overall theme of his talk. I believe that young people in the US (and many places worldwide) are at a massive disadvantage when it comes to accumulating wealth, buying homes, inter-generational transfers, etc. But you cannot go up on a popular platform like this, make claims as sweeping as he has, and make suggestions as radical and drastic as he has, with garbage arguments and data like this. Saying the right things for the wrong reasons is arguably worse than just saying the wrong thing because it makes it easy for those who want the status quo to remain to make counterarguments. Given how divisive opinions have become over the past decade or so I guess I shouldn't be surprised at how many people are eating this up but it kinda scares me how easily people will eat up this shit as long as its for a cause that sounds like its going for some kind of radical change for the good of all and has some imaginary "them" as the common enemy to everyone.
So that's it, I've finally covered all his points. I'm free, thank fuck. I should really proofread this but this has been my past eight hours and my back is breaking from all this sitting, I'm just gonna post this and read it over tomorrow. Maybe do a tl;dr, fix some formatting.
EDIT: As u/myphriendmike and u/Mordoci have pointed out, my dummy corp example was just tax fraud, that's illegal and so it's a bad example, I've removed it. Zucman has some estimates on the "real" tax rate wealthy people (mostly billionaires) pay, maybe I'll include that at some point.
I also corrected my wording in some places.