I've been meaning to make this post for a while but life kept getting in the way.
There is a bunch of new (well, new to me) stuff I've discovered over the last few weeks, and wanted to share my thoughts with you.
Let's start with the "prequel" (although never canonically confirmed) to the Marathon series was a game called Pathways to Darkness. The backstory for this game is:

Sixty-four million years ago, a large extra-terrestrial object struck the Earth in what would later be called the Yucatan Peninsula, in south eastern Mexico. The dust and rock thrown up by the resulting explosion caused enormous climactic changes in the ensuing years, and many of the Earth's species became extinct during the long winter that followed.
The object itself was buried thousands of feet below ground, its nearly two kilometer length remarkably intact. It remained there, motionless, for thousands of years before it finally began to stir-- and to dream.

Hmm. Buried below ground. Finally beginning to stir and dream. Who does that sound like?
Let's keep going.

The heat of impact liquefied the rock around it, which later cooled and encased the dead god's huge body far below ground. As it began to dream, it wrought unintentional changes in its environment. Locked deep beneath the Earth, strange and unbelievable things faded in and out of reality. Vast caverns and landscapes bubbled to life within the rock, populated by horrible manifestations of the dead god's dream.

As it began to dream, it wrought unintentional changes in its environment.. Locked deep beneath the Earth, strange and unbelievable things faded in and out of reality.
Like Fingerrats? Or like Spider-wolves?

Vast caverns and landscapes bubbled to life within the rock, populated by horrible manifestations of the dead god's dream.

Caverns and landscapes. I want to expand this point here for a bit because it's also mirrored across Alagaesia.
Let's start with Helgrind.
For any FV enjoyers, I've previously speculated that Helgrind is a reliquary, or a previously living being that was transformed (a la Ctein).
But the curious thing here is the timeline of Helgrind and it's tunnel system, taken with the above context.

Q: Assuming it wasn't built by the Ra'zac themselves, was the lair inside Helgrind purpose-built for the Ra'zac and Lethrblaka, or did they appropriate it some time after it was built? If it wasn't built for them, what was its original purpose?
A: Partially natural formations (linked to tunnels elsewhere in Alagaësia), partly expanded by the priests of Helgrind and Galbatorix himself.

But... The Ra'Zac didn't inhabit Helgrind until at least after the Humans came over. So these tunnels underneath Helgrind existed before the Ra'Zac, or Galbatorix ever set foot on Alagaesia. Which, I don't know about you, but a massive network of tunnels does not smell entirely natural to me.
So.. where else are there "natural" formations that link to other tunnels elsewhere in Alagaesia?
We've seen these "natural" formations in Vroengard:

Q: The deeps under Vroengard, were they created by the riders or was it a previous system of caverns that they repurposed?
A: Previous system. I mean, there's been work done on them, but... 'It looks similar, parts of it feel similar to the caverns that we encountered in this book. They both have that hole in the cave which goes deeper, with something in the hole that's not clearly defined.' Yeah.

And we've seen similar depictions in the Beors, and Nal Gorgoth. So from the Beors to Vroengard, "natural" tunnels exist underground. I don't buy that they are entirely natural.
Given the context of the Marathon game above:

Vast caverns and landscapes bubbled to life within the rock, populated by horrible manifestations of the dead god's dream.

I think these tunnels came from Azlagur.
Let's switch gears here, I want to talk about another archaeological mystery in the world of Eragon - El-Harim.
I believe El-Harim was heavily influenced by the (not canon confirmed, but implied) prequel to the Marathon games, the Pathways into Darkness

Pathways casts the player as a member of a US Army Special Forces team sent on a mission to the Yucatán Peninsula. On May 5, 1994, a diplomat from the alien race known as the Jjaro appeared to the President of the United States and informed him that on May 13, an ancient godlike being sleeping beneath a pyramid would awaken and destroy the Earth. The only way to prevent this catastrophe is to prevent the god from awakening. The eight-man Special Forces team carries a nuclear weapon, with the goal of entering the ancient pyramid, descending to the bottom level where the god sleeps, and activating the bomb to stun the god and bury it under tons of rock.

Getting into a bit more of the backstory:

Only during the last few centuries has the god begun to effect changes on the surface of the Earth. Grotesque creatures have been sighted deep in the trackless forest of the Yucatan, and strange rumors of an ancient pyramid-- which is neither Aztec nor Mayan-- in the same area have been circulating in the archaeological community since the early 1930's.

Pyramid, eh? There are two different options here I can think of that equate.
The extended FWW Map
First, in the extended map from FWW, we can see a Pyramid-esque shape - Different color, different slope, etc.
Or, second (and probably more likely), it could be El-Harim:

It is a very bad place. It’s a place where some bad things happened at one point and it’s not a good place to go walking around. I don’t want to get into it too much more because again, it’s a good possibility for another story and I want to keep thinking about it a bit more. It is in Alagaesia and we’ve actually been close to the location.

Many speculate that the below vision from Eragon in Brisingr, which was never explained in the main cycle, is of El-Harim:

And he rested, and visions beset him of a circular stone city that stood in the center of an endless plain and of a small girl who wandered among the narrow, winding alleys within and who sang a haunting melody (A Feast with Friends, Brisingr).

If this vision IS El-Harim , it's super significant because of these two descriptors:

circular stone city
narrow, winding alleys

Fractals. The city itself is a fractal, like Nidus for any FV enjoyers.
The narrow winding alleys are significant because of the descriptors of the Vanished/Grey folk:

The spaces between the structures were narrower than the humans preferred; the proportions were taller, thinner, which matched the images she had seed of the Vanished...
The ancient outline of the city was - as she suspected - a fractal, and the shape of it contained meaning.... At the nexus of the apttern, where it coiled in on itslef like a nautilus shell" (Shards, TSIASOS).

Narrow. Circular (Nautilus shell). Winding. Fractal.
Whatever this city is, El-Harim or otherwise, it is/was a grey folk/vanished city.
And given the quotes from above - "Its a place where some bad things happened at one point", and "dangerous, creeping, ancient, evil thing" - My guess is that the event that caused the Grey Folk to bind the AL to magic happened here, in El-Harim.
Alright, moving along.
Let's talk about the Az and the God. There are a few parallels I've talked around, but the BIG link between the two are Dreams. This is especially important because of the release of the world map recently.

We are the devotees of Azlagur, the Devourer. Azlagur the Firstborn. Azlagur the Dreamer. He who sleeps and whose sleeping mind weaves the warp and weft of the waking world. But the sleep grows restless" (Obliteration, Murtagh).

Versus

As it began to dream, it wrought unintentional changes in its environment. Locked deep beneath the Earth, strange and unbelievable things faded in and out of reality. Vast caverns and landscapes bubbled to life within the rock, populated by horrible manifestations of the dead god's dream.

I could write a whole post about the parallels between the two and their linkage to dreams, but I'll cut it short here for now to save room to dig in to other areas. Specifically, the Dreams connection is especially important because of the relase of the world map recently - I have another post here that gets into more detail, but the translations from the World Map in the middle translate to:

where dreams and dragons dwell

Dreams (!) and Dragons.
Combine that with the Etymology of the words:

Alagaësia ala = land gaësia = rich/fertile
Alalëa ala = land lëa = a beautiful dream
Elëa = the dream itself

So the planet, named Elea, translates to "The Dream Itself". Very interesting.
This is even more significant when you take into account this tweet chain from Chris, a bit earlier in March

Darn it. Just invented a name in the ancient language. Googled it to make sure no one else had used it ... only to discover that I had used it in an earlier book. Lol.
Can we ask what name?
Edurna

I believe the name was a potential candidate for the name of the planet of Alagaesia, which is important because of the etymology of THAT name (All credit to Zora for digging this one up).

Edurna sounds awfully like Adurna and Edur
Adurna meaning water and Edur being a prominence

Prominence. And Water. You know what that sounds like to me? Plaintive Verge. Just food for thought.
Second-to-last Az connection I want to cover: Hunger.

Whirling darkness swallowed him, and at the center of it... lay a formless horror - ancient and evil and from which emanated a constant merciless hunger (Dreams and Portents).

Versus a quote about the cosmic entity in Marathon:

Now I fear what that weapon has unleashed will destroy us. I once boasted to be able to count the atoms in a cloud, to understand them all, predict them, and so did I predict you, but this new chaos is entirely terrible, mindless, obeying rules that I don't comprehend. And it is hungry.

Now, the last piece of Azlagur-related lore I want to cover here is the "Black Sun".
In all of the visions, a Black Sun precipitates Azlagur's rise.

"A black sun rimmed by black flame hung against a darkling sky... The beast rose rampant against the black sun - A wingless dragon, apocalyptic in size, terrifying in presence. Destroyer of hope, eater of light"

Before getting into the Black Sun a bit more, there's an additional connection here I want to touch on - usage of the word rampant in connection with Azlagur.

In Marathon, Rampancy is the enhanced self-awareness of a computer AI, causing a progression towards greater mental abilities and destructive impulses. The destructive impulses, however, are primarily caused by being threatened or harassed. There are three main stages, as well as a fourth and final stage that is rarely achieved, to rampancy, named by the primary attitude of the AI during those times: Melancholia, Anger, Jealousy, and Meta-Stability.

There are some overlaps with what we see from the Maw.
And Melancholia.. that's an interesting word. Especially when taken into context the meaning of the name:

A melancholy dream of great beauty.

Melancholy.. Dream... The pieces of the puzzle are coming together. And Rampant...
Chris also uses that exact same verbiage when discussing a deleted scene from TSIASOS:

Q: I just finished reading To Sleep in a Sea of Stars and I have to know: it sounds like the Wranaui fought the corrupted during the Sundering but if that's true and it happened almost 300 years prior.... Who created the old corrupted? I've been questioning this for days!
A: That was actually in material cut by editors (some of the dream memories). Another Seed/Idealis was damaged and, when the Old Ones tried to separate it from its host, the xeno went rampant.

The xeno went rampant. Very interesting.
Alrighty, I keep getting distracted, back to the black sun.
The reason the Black Sun is important is because it always precipitates Azlagur's rise, throughout several of Murtahgh's visions. In each of them, there is a Black sun.
So, by this, we can extrapolate that the sun needs to be Black in order for Azlagur to rise (which is hinted at at the "Day of Black Sun" celebrations near the end of the book).
But... what does it actually mean?
There is a parallel in Marathon, their weapon:

The trih xeem (also "tri xeem") is an extremely powerful weapon that can be used to force a star into early nova... it was originally conceived and built by the Jjaro [The Old Ones/Vanished equivalent]. Much of the Marathon Infinity story revolves around preventing the Pfhor from using the tri xeem and inadvertently releasing a W'rkncacnter that is supposedly trapped within the Lh'owon sun.

So, the story of the last Marathon games revolves around preventing the usage of the weapon to release the cosmic-level baddie trapped in the sun. So, effectively, the antagonist is imprisoned by the sun.
But.. how does that translate to Azlagur and Murtagh?
The Black Sun requirement for Azlagur's rise could be construed as "imprisonment" by the sun; Azlagur cannot escape until the sun is turned Black. But it only really starts to come together when you piece together these pictures.
First, early concept art for the Fractalverse
You see the black orb, heading directly for the glowing star? Sounds pretty similar.
But that's not the smoking gun; look at the depiction of the black orb in the concept art, and compare it to the trih xeem, the weapon in Marathon.
A black orb with a trail heading directly for the sun. Almost an exact match.
OK.. so I get that it has some relevence in fractalverse, but how does it translate to Eragon?
Well, because of the Beors. Specifically, a picture CHRIS HIMSELF posted about the Beors.
Here
I propose that THIS black orb, at the top of the Beors (which, suspiciously, no one has traveled to) houses the black weapon. After all, the depiction is quite similar - A large, circular, black orb. Looks pretty similar to the other pictures.
And given the above context that Azlagur can only rise with a "Black Sun", the pieces all start to fit together. It's not perfect, but there are definitely a lot of overlaps.
Alright. I've been waiting for this one. The last piece. Let's talk about Angela.
Q: Will we get Angela lore? I feel like she could have killed Galbatorix and just didn't feel like it.
A: For those who don't know Angela is based on my sister Angela, because she breaks the fourth wall to a degree she has. Not only does she have plot armor, she knows she's in a story and can break the story itself. So, yes, she could have killed Galbatorix, but that would have made for a very bad story. That said, I do have an entire book planned around Angela, and it's very high on my list of books to write because it takes place before some of these other big stories I want to write. And that's also the difficult thing. I have my big storylines, and then I have a couple of one off side books I want to write, and it's just a question of time, energy and effort.
She knows she's in a story, and she can break the story.
Based on that, and several other descriptions I will get into in a bit, I think her story is directly related to the Marathon Infinity game.

Marathon Infinity begins as the Pfhor destroy Lh'owon using a Jjaro-derived doomsday weapon known as the Trih Xeem or "early nova". Unfortunately, the weapon also releases a powerful chaotic being: The W’rkncacnter, which threatens to destroy the entire galaxy. Because of the W’rkncacnter's chaos or by means of some Jjaro tech of his own, the player is transported back and forward in time, finding himself jumping between timelines and fighting for various sides in a desperate attempt to prevent the chaotic being's release.

and

In Marathon Infinity, a W'rkncacnter is imprisoned in the sun of planet Lh'owon. It is theorized by some that the W'rkncacnter's powerfully chaotic nature may be responsible for the jumps between realities seen in the game. When the Pfhor use a trih xeem device to send the star into early nova, the creature is released, to the horror and destruction of the Pfhor.

Angela is the Eragon-equivalent of the player.
She can transport back and forward in time, jumping between timelines, and fighting to prevent the chaotic being's (Azlagur's) release. Let's dive in.
First:

Q: Is it canon that Angela the Herbalist is a Time Lord and did she make a cameo in To Sleep in a Sea of Stars?
A: Is Angela the Herbalist is a Time Lord? That would be copyright infringement, so I'm going to say "no comment", but she is in To Sleep in a Sea of Stars. And there is a canon reason for this. And you should have no problem spotting who she is in that book.

So there's a canon reason she's in the book. Interesting. When you take that into context with the next bit

Q: On your last AMA on reddit, someone asked if any fan had guessed the identity and history of Angela correctly. You said nobody has guessed correctly and there's not enough information in the books to do so. That puts every fan theory out there on her wrong, correct? She's not the soothsayer, a time lord, grey folk, etc, correct?
A: Angela: Some of the fan theories have gotten parts of her history and identity correct. However, there's a HUGE aspect to her nature that no one has guessed (or least, not in a non-joking way). And no, I don't mean her being a Time Lord.

So there's a huge aspect to her nature that no one has guessed (at least at the time of writing). She's self-aware, knows she's in a story, and can jump around in time. And, similar to the Marathon games, it appears like only she knows that she's in a story.
So, based on the Marathon inspiration, we can guess that she is trying to accomplish the same thing - To prevent the release of the cosmic-level villain. We know that she has some kind of relationship with the Draumar:

In Murtagh, it’s revealed that Bachel and “Uluthrek” (Mooneater, Angela’s given Urgal name) met with Bachel explicitly going out to confront her (a courtesy not even offered to a Rider like Murtagh)

So, by extension, she has some kind of connection to Azlagur. This is supported by other circumstantial evidence in FWW as well:

Since we know that the Dream Well in Mani's Caves is similar to the Well in Nal Gorgoth I can assume that Angela is revealing the existence of the Draumar to Elva there? I feel certainly feel as if you're setting up her for something in the future series.
Heh. Good Catch.

So, she is clearly working with Elva to do something related to the Dream Wells, and she also previously confronted Bachel, many years ago. So throughout multiple years across the WoE, she is connected to Azlagur and the Draumar; her story clearly revolves around them/Azlagur, somehow.
Putting the above pieces together, my guess is that she is jumping around in different timelines, trying to manipulate actions of the past to prevent the rise of Azlagur. Just like the player character in Marathon. There's another piece of circumstantial evidence to support this assertion as well.
In Marathon Infinity:

After multiple "jumps," the player (seemingly the only one who realizes he is being transported between possible realities)

Versus Angela:

As hours passed, the stars turned above, night chill drew the heat from my body, and I fell into a curious trance, not asleep but not fully awake... The world altered" (On the Nature of Stars, FWW).

I believe this world "Altering" was the first time she experienced an alternate timeline, without knowing what it was at the time.
We've also seen her create "Doorways" as well - Although it's not clear if this is fast traveling (a la a Torque Gate), or truly opening a path to another timeline.
In Eldest:

"As they landed, he noticed a patch of white on a small hill nearby. The patch wavered strangely in the dark, like a floating candle, then resolved into Angela, who was wearing a pale wool tunic" (A Sorceress, a Snake, and a Scroll).

and then later, more concretely:

"I traced a line on the wall, reached out, and opened a door that wasn't there. ON the other side - nighttime, a beach by a black ocean lit only by stars, so many, many stars, more than there should be. Of course, I would not take Elva to my home, not yet. But this was a waypoint, a place to build and learn and grow... She stared into the gap, the impossible portal" (On the Nature of Stars, FWW).

Still, as always with Angela, so many questions.
Alright, we've reached an ungodly wordcount, so I'll call it here. There are still more connections I'm uncovering between the two series (such as the potential connection between the Gedway Ignasia and the "warning" sensation from Marathon), so I might make a follow-up post in the future with everything else I uncover.
As always, thanks for reading! Let me know what you think in the comments, or if you've found any other connections between the two.

Hi! The world is an existential nightmare, but it could be a nightmare we share!
I'm a professional writer and game designer looking for a long-term relationship. 30s- no kids (past or future), no prior marriages, no addictive substances (except sugar). Pretty far left political stances. I'm mostly fit (though my cardio is garbo), slender, and 6'0, and I've been told I'm handsome if you like guys with shaved heads- Ideally would like to be with someone similar and generally around my age +/- 9 years.
While I've been called "the most real person I've met with online dating," I should warn you ahead of time, that's either a good thing or a bad thing depending on your perspective. Can't promise everyone will see me as a lovable scamp, but you'll hopefully at least find me authentic.
I'd love to meet someone curious, clever, and confident. Bonus points for people with gothy/punk/alternative styles, but that's not a dealbreaker or anything (I would like someone to help me pick out tattoos). No smokers, please! That is a dealbreaker.
I've been around enough to know what I'm looking for and not to settle. I strive for (and expect in return) open communication, honesty, a problem-solving attitude towards conflict, and compassion/empathy/understanding/patience. Self-improvement and being up-front are important to me. Communication has recently been a problem with prospective partners over the last couple years, so I want to stress that I'm not the right fit for someone who's conflict-avoidant or who doesn't approach their partner with the benefit of the doubt. For me, there's no point in a relationship if you can't trust each other and feel safe with each other even when you disagree about something.
I try to be a patient, understanding, and kind person who takes responsibility for his mistakes and tries to grow from them. I'm not perfect, and I don't expect perfection. I just want someone who works with me, complementing my rough edges while I complement theirs. We're both human and we ought to give each other the benefit of the doubt if at all possible.
I'm definitely more of a homebody/introvert, but I like walks, swimming, working out, and indoor rock climbing. But you're more likely to find me playing some kind of game. I'm affectionate and mostly silly even if I take a lot of topics seriously. I try to view life with humor, but I've got anxiety/depression, so I'd prefer to be with someone who at least understands mental health issues. I love a faux-combative dynamic with partners - giving each other low-key shit. Life's no fun unless we're being a little mean to each other (Them Statler and Waldorf vibes, right?)
It generally takes me a minute to warm up to someone, but I try to let prospective partners dictate the flow of conversation initially so they feel comfortable. I'm flexible in my approach overall, but I usually hold off on talking about physical intimacy for a second. Though it's faster if we click just right.
I try to measure my words very carefully (to make sure I mean what I say and say what I mean, if you know what I mean), but when I know what to say, I tend to text in paragraphs (AS YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO TELL), so fair warning. But, I'd ideally like to be with someone who can do comfortable silence too. I just like existing with friends or partners, even if we're doing something totally separate.
If you weren't driven insane by my writing style/density, please give me a holler - Let's be snarky weirdos together! (I would really appreciate a picture with your message if you're comfortable with it. I just don't want to waste your time if the attraction's not there!)

believe it or not, i dont want to die sad. but how does one die feeling happy? feeling at peace? i too do not know how, but i want to try to find the answer today. i want to sleep forever, now. so i want to try my best to give you a brief recap of how ive been suicidal and depressed till now.
to be honest i didnt know how it exactly started. when did i feel depressed? no, scratch that. when did i feel sad for no reason? ninth grade. i cant remember the specifics now, but i do remember trying to drown myself, my first attempt of suicide, because of my grades. i was 13, i felt hopeless, my mom got mad at me, and we didnt have the closeness of our relationship that we have now. i became more sad when i reached my senior year of high school, grades 11 and 12. i had my first heartbreak (cliche as it sounds) and i sabotaged all my friendships. i was a bad friend, i was getting into smoking and drinking--i made both of them my coping mechanism. i spent my days lying in bed, crying in the mornings before school started inside the bathroom stalls, i skipped classes and traveled on my own and smoke and drink--people believed i was 18. but i was 16. i was 16, but i felt like my inner machinery was already tarnished. i chased love but turned away the second they showed me that they liked me. i ran away from my friends and used them for my own benefit because i was 'sad' and that they should 'know' that because they were my 'friends'. but no. nobody deserves that kind of treatment. i was never saved that time, never told anyone how i truly felt. but when i did tell i immediately regretted it because they never understood my weight of emotions; i felt invalidated.
freshman year of college rolled through and i thought i was doing fine, but i wasn't. i wanted to be so much that i ended up overexerting myself. when it finally became too heavy for me i stayed out late, drank again, spent the night with my friends and didn't come home. the next day i told my mom that i had this urge to be alone, to disappear, and that my emotions were all so heavy that i was becoming more sad everyday that even i didn't know the reason. before i could say i wanted help, she told me instead the opposites of what i have been saying. 'ah, this must be what invalidation feels like' i thought, and thats when i knew that really, no one will understand what im going through. its the pandemic now, 2020 and im turning 18, the age of adulthood. funny enough months before that i told myself that i wanted to die, and that there was a bleach ready in out bathroom for me to try out. i thought back then, dying at 18 would be nice because it would spare me the pains of adulthood. my birthday came, i felt heavy when i woke up; i finally decided, you know. my mind was made up. but then i woke up and i hear my dad calling my mom on the phone and asking her if i was already awake, my mom sounded giddy, excited, and told my dad that i haven't woke up yet and that there's too much food on the table she's excited on how ill react. i cried. they were downstairs celebrating my birthday but i was stuck in bed thinking of ways to unalive myself. in the end i came down, wiped my tears, celebrated my birthday normally, posed for some pictures, and called it a day. that was the day i started dreading having to celebrate my birthday. same year, october, i called the suicide hotline with pills in my hand, ready to end it all. long story short, more shit happened. called the hotline, texted my cousin i was gonna die, she then called her parents then said parents called my mom. mom caught me, we cried so hard, i told her everything. we became closer then. she was my best friend and still is, and it pains me that im not the best daughter and friend she has. i wanted to take a break from school then, i wanted to see a shrink, but guess what, nothing happened. i went back to classes like nothing happened. my emotions werent compensated. i was doing everything with a broken mind. no one around me talked to me about what happened, only i relived it. i preferred if they talked to me about it, i preferred if i took a break for a while, it would have been nice to talk to someone about, talk about this unending sadness that im feeling; if i did then maybe i could be a tiny bit better. but no. i gave every feeling i had for free.
4 years passed and im still here. what am i now? things were good two years ago, but how about now? i still sabotaged everything, while trying to fix things aside. i tried to live life, but my anxiety just got worse; heck i didnt even have anxiety before. i had everything planned out three years ago, now im lost again. i dont have someone to talk to, i ruined the friendships i built with trust. i ruined my relationships with everyone and i act like the victim in my head. im a fucked up person and i wonder if my sadness and melancholy justifies all this. everyday i live with a weight on my shoulder. id say i want to try my best today with a lump on my throat. i tell my mom im having fun but then i turn to a socially awkward girl alone. i tell her im doing fine but i really want to jump off our unit. im becoming a threat to myself, im becoming so lost that i need something to believe in again. im so lonely, im so alone, but i pushed away everyone else. maybe this is all im meant to be, really. i dont think the blues will ever me leave me, ive been accustomed to feeling sad and hurt all the time that im scared of being happy. does it even suit me?
i need help. i really need to figure out whats wrong with me. ive always yearned for help. i gaslighted myself a year ago that i didnt need it anymore, i still do. but what will i do when no ones listening to me? when my parents care about imagery rather than my wellbeing? when they care about other people telling them that their daughters 'fucked in the head', well i am. and to the people who tells me that i am, well i am, and probably you guys are and your children feels the same too.
what will the girl who dreamed of becoming a beautician think about the girl who i am now? what will my other selves say about me? ill forever mourn the girl who i wanted to be. the writer, the poet, someone who writes for a living and just sits down in her room with a view. i could also work in a library or in a museum, where i could stare at art and write about it. i want to write. and im sorry lola that i didnt get to finish the story i was writing for you. im sorry im not becoming someone you wished to be. im sorry to everyone who i let down. to my mom, you really are my best friend and im thankful to everything youve done for me, and the little things youve done to make me feel better. to my dad, thank you for the sacrifices you made for us, for my education, despite not being there physically. but you know, i had a lot of trauma growing up and carrying them now because of you two. my social anxiety, the way im afraid to speak up, when im asked about something i dont respond, because everything feels like a wrong answer. and a wrong answer always equates to screaming and shouting and punishing me physically for discipline. but dont worry, i guess, i tried to accept it with love. love equals hate, after all. the two of you did your best, but im sorry. i just want to sleep now.

Hi there! You can call me Mul and I''ve been writing for about ten years now. I am over the age of 18 and prefer that my partners are too. I love making ooc friends, sharing pictures/memes and gushing about pairings! I'm mainly looking for fandom based roleplays, typically canon x oc pairings.
After desperately searching for long-term, active partners for specific fandoms on smaller roleplay forums, I've finally decided to give reddit a shot!
Here's what I'm looking for in a partner:
First off, please be over the age of 18!
-Romance is basically a must for me. I get bored without it. Though, of course, If we're doubling I would be more than willing to play a platonic pairing for you.
-Be semi-active. I prefer writing with partners who are able to write often, though I do understand life gets busy. I get busy too! All I ask is a heads up if you'll be away for a prolonged period of time. My reply frequency varies from multiple times a day to every other day, to weekly depending on reply length.
-Preferably looking for long-term stories. If things are getting boring, let me know, let's spice it up. Communication is key!
-I love ooc chatter, though it is not a must, always feel free to start up a conversation about the roleplay, fandom or even your day. I don't bite!
-I love doubling! You play my love interest, I play yours.
-As far as post length, typically anything between 2-4 paragraphs per character is great. I will write more or less depending on your preference.
-I am willing to write any gender pairing though for my side, I will primarily be opting for fxm pairings. I will list specific characters I am looking for below but I can play pretty much anybody in exchange.
If you're interested in anything listed below, please feel free to reach out! I'd love to plot with you.
Fandom's I'm looking for:
The 100
Looking for: Bellamy Blake, John Murphy, Maybe Jasper Jordan
Will play: Anyone. Murphy is my favorite to write though!
I've had a particularly hard time finding interest in this particular fandom. Actually, I've been looking for truly interested partners for four years now with little to no luck. It's surprising to me because I feel this fandom has limitless writing possibilities! I have ocs and plot ideas ready to go.
Supernatural
Looking for: Sam Winchester
Will play: Anyone but I love to write Dean Winchester
I have an OC for Sam that I've had a lot of success with in the past! Just looking for new partners after a little hiatus. Plenty of plot ideas for this one!

The final straw happened today.
I asked him about the song, told him I know he posted it for a reason. He ofc denied it. I know it is emotional manipulation. He can deny all he wants, I know him too well.
Messages back and forth, devolving pretty quickly from him being sad and lost and being upset at the situation to how it is my fault, my behavior Yada Yada Yada. Kept my words non confrontational and honest. Reminded him again he is splitting and he was the aggressor. Made sure to clearly explain our experiences are different. Ofc no accountability on his end.
Threw out some details that need to be dealt with. Was then called a narcissist for wanting my things and money. Probably didn't help that I step by factual step reminded him exactly what my experience was.
He then proceeded to claim he told his therapist everything and that she essentially said it was okay because he was reacting and felt threatened.
I had to repeat that back: You're telling me you told your counselor you physically threatened me and that she said that was okay. That is highly unlikely
His reply: Yep because i didnt actually do anything but react to your outburst of which youve done repeatedly. and i felt theatened as i was driving. and i did not actually follow through
This certainly does not sound correct to me dear reader....it sounds like a distorted version or an outright lie.....
He did say once over the past few weeks that nothing can be changed because I told my therapist...he didnt finish the thought..I do wonder what was actually said, although it is none of my business. I do not care I was there and I know what happened. And he doesn't even have the time line right in his version. I am tempted to finally email her with this. I have it in writing now that he is manipulating the narrative. I might. Im gonna talk to my therapist first.
Anyhoooo, after expressing my experience and asking for my property and money, I ofc got called a narcissist full of shit gross ugly whatever. The whole time as I was stating all I want is respect and decency while he is still in the house and we will just avoid each other.
Then, after all the vitriol and venom, a half passed apology and thanking me for everything I've done. 🙄
He was gone when I came home, no clue where and I do not care. I will move his shit to the garage when I have the energy.
And the only thing he did was remove his own pictures from the walls.......if that doesn't scream narcissist I do not know what does.....
I am completely and utterly done. Via con Dios you poor thing. If you can't make it with me, I'm pretty sure you don't have much of a chance. Everything you do is gonna fail, and it will be by your own hand as always. You've forgotten what the world is like without me, you're only mirroring me after all. But you never really absorbed the lessons, just distorted them for your own needs. The universe will sort it out. This I know for a fact. It always does.
And that dear reader, is the end. YE who enter here abandon all hope. save yourself some time and energy, if you're questioning whether it will work out or if you should ever expect things to change, that's a no from me dog. It will always be something and it will always be your fault.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Nocontact4you
None of my family knows this trip will be the last time they see me.
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest & Poems
Thanks to u/lolfuckno for suggesting this BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: Infidelity, cancer, ableism, bullying, abandonment, emotional abuse of a child, verbal abuse, neglect, lies, mentions of miscarriage
MOOD SPOILER: Depressing
Original Post Feb 4, 2024
Firstly, I’m okay, physically anyway.
Honestly, I have no idea who this is for, but I think I just need it out of my head.
The circumstances of my birth were complicated. I broke up two marriages, and my family has never been shy about how they feel about me for that. Only one of my brothers has gotten drunk enough to tell me to my face that he resents me for existing, but I know it exists within all of them, at least in some way. Im much younger than all my siblings, and there was so much that happened out of our hands that I made excuses, but my whole life, I’ve never quite felt “part of the family”.
As a child, I told myself we’d make up for lost time once I got older and we could talk as equals. Now, at 23, I see glimpses of the life I wished I’d have, but in the end, I’m always too much trouble to involve. I hear EVERYTHING from my father. I had to find out my niece was in a car accident from him; I had to find out my other niece had a miscarriage from him; I had to find out my oldest brother had a BRAIN TUMOR haphazardly on a phone call with my father, which he didn’t even know I was unaware of.
I’ve known for a while I’m the only one trying, but for the sake of my dreams, I’ve given every opportunity for them to let me in, but I just can’t do it anymore.
I have a psychiatric service dog who aids me with CPTSD. He is the single greatest thing to happen to me. Not only did he save my life from myself, but he has made life livable. He can tell when I’m panicking and he knows pressure therapy to help me through an attack. He stops me from hurting myself in meltdowns, sits with me until the only noise I can hear anymore is his snoring on my lap. He allows me to go grocery shopping by myself. He is my soulmate, and anyone who knows me knows how important he is to me.
My dating life isn’t thriving, so I took a shot in the dark and asked my niece if she minded if I brought my service dog as my plus one for her wedding at the end of this month. I have to fly across the country to go, so I will be bringing him anyway since I cannot fly alone. I figured it couldn’t hurt to see if he could not have to stay in the hotel all night. I do not technically need him for the event, since I’ll know every guest and I will be drinking pretty heavily to cope, but getting to spoil him with a bow-tie, dancing, and STEAK, sounded like the perfect reward for helping me on my flight. Several times, I emphasized that I understood it was an odd request and she could say no if she wanted.
She was EMPHATIC that he could come! She said even if I found a date, he could come! I was elated! For once, I felt seen, I felt cared about, I felt valued. And then I got a call from my dad. No one wanted to make things awkward, but the mother of the bride was NOT okay with a dog being at the venue. I explained that he is a trained service animal and will not impede the ceremony in anyway, and I’d of course remove him if he did. Still, he said they didn’t like it. I was so tired of hearing everyone else’s words through my father. He won’t be around forever and sooner or later, they will have to start talking to me
I had one request: let the bride tell me. When I asked her, she said yes, and until she told me she changed her mind, I was under the assumption he could go. Well, I never heard back. My dad kept dropping hints when i’d call him, but I told him what my expectations were. When I RSVP’d, I put my dog as my plus one on the response to let them know I wasn’t backing down this time. At this point, I didn’t even care if she said he couldn’t go. I just wanted to hear it from her.
The next morning, I woke up to an EMAIL from my father. Not even a text, a fucking email explaining that my niece didn’t want to be the bad guy, but my dog was NOT welcome at the wedding. He said he was sorry, but he could still come with me to the hotel if I wanted.
Something inside me broke, I think. I think I realized this is truly a helpless case. They are never going to respect me the way I crave them to. To this day, not one of our conversations has been started by them. I always initiate, and now, the one time I request a direct contact, I get an email.
Family means everything to me. Over the last few years, i’ve redefined what a family can be, and if right now, my family needs to be a very damaged orphan and their service animal, I’m grateful I have that much.
So, I’m going to the wedding, and then I’m never going to talk to any of them again.
And the sad part is, I didn’t even think they’re going to notice.
Update:
First, thank you to everyone for the kind words, and all the advice. It sincerely means so much that so many people care. I want to address all the questions about why I want to go to this wedding at all. There are plenty of practical reasons that I can name, but the truth is, I need to go for my own closure.
I have a strange relationship with death, and loss. My mother died when I was 5; my family split up right after. I’ve lost several caregivers to serious diseases, grieving their death as they lived. I’ve learned how to navigate MY grieving process. If I don’t go to this wedding, I will regret it. Not only is it my last chance to see my childhood family all together in one place, but if I don’t go, I show them they can bully me. I do not want to make a spectical of my trauma with them, but that does not mean I have to walk away with my tail between my knees.
I’m not scared of them. My relationship is non-existent, but I did see my siblings/cousins/neiecesandnephews fairly regularly. When I was a kid, they intimidated and bullied me into silence, but I’m not a child anymore. I lived with these people; I can manage one night, if for no other reason than to prove they cannot control me.
Thanks again for all the kind words. Happy to provide a pupdate if someone can tell me how to post pictures from the app?
RELEVANT COMMENTS
When told not to go to the wedding

I spent $700 on a plane ticket and $200 on a suit. Least I can do is go drink someone else’s liquor and dance my worries away. Besides. It feels like goodbye

&

The cherry on top is they are all very conservative Christians, and I will be going in a suit with my hair dyed green and makeup done to the nines, so this will be my biggest “fuck you, I’m here anyway” I can pull off. Truthfully, my father’s memory is starting to go as he gets older, so even if I did explain my feelings, he will end up sharing anyway, so I’ve made my peace with the fact that it will be a one-way-street because lord knows they’re not gonna ask what I’m up to.

When told to call the bride directly

The last 20 years of trauma will not be solved with one phone call. This was their last chance to prove to me they want me in their lives. It’s not about the dog. It’s the fact that all I asked is to be treated like a person and talked to directly, and they have proven to me they don’t care, so I’m leaving. I already did my job of reaching out to her and she said yes. Why is it my job to reach out and make sure she hasn’t changed her mind?

When told her father is an asshole and he is the one responsible for everything

THANK YOU! I have felt like the only one who cannot fathom how that conversation could be had over EMAIL?? It’s sadly not uncommon for them to communicate through him, and I always have the receipts after the fact when they’re no longer worried about the awkwardness. My brothers don’t even know where I work. I am building a career around my job. They couldn’t tell you what my relationship status is, and I’d be hard pressed to tell you if they knew my middle name to be honest. My father is not innocent, but they are responsible for their part in our relationship. I have stopped reaching out to them directly because I barely hear back, and it’s clear they don’t really care what I’m saying. I could honestly write a book on the road that’s led me to this choice, but who’s got the time in this economy?

Pupdate for Everyone Asking! Feb 6, 2024
He’s a 2.5 year old, Black and Tan Coonhound☺️
Dog tax
Update Feb 26, 2024
Original Story Here:
https://www.reddit.com/TrueOffMyChest/s/2MfJ98m6kP
POST-WEDDING UPDATE!
So, I went to the wedding. It went about how I expected it to go, though one can never be ready for a spontanious conga line. Sadly, there was no secret last minute invite, nor any secret plot of which the bride was unaware. She felt bad saying no, so she lied, and she didn’t want to tell me that, and she still didn’t, even at the wedding. No one really said much at all, in fact. The mother of the bride did not speak to me at all, my brother tiptoed around the subject until the end of the night. To his credit, he did apologize, “for all the dog stuff” as he said goodbye. Strangely, the apology didn’t make me feel much better.
There was no big confrontation either, mainly because no one cared to listen to me if I tried. As the reception began, part of me wondered how much I was going to miss the people, the environment, the vibe, really. Truthfully, I surprised myself with how ready I was to leave. Goodbye was short, and bittwersweet.
The venue was pretty and the alcohol was free, so I made the best of my night, but I got what I needed out of it, I think. Getting home tonight felt like a weight lifting off my shoulders. I know more than ever that I need to do this, and what I once saw as cutting my family in half, I can now see is clearing space for new family, one that cares.
Thank you for all your kind words, and all the support for my dog!
Arrogance is Bliss March 25, 2024
You don’t love me.
You love an idea of me you fabricated in your mind when I was a child.
I’m no longer a child.
I’m far from perfect, but I’m growing, I’m glowing, and I’m grieving the reality that none of you will ever know the person I become.
You call it love, but my scars disagree.
You hate my hair, my style, my beliefs—you hate me.
And the saddest part is, I don’t even think you know you do.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

the suicidal
step out
into death
who am i to judge ?
for what eternity holds
no-one knows
the low reading aged
if you write something they can’t understand
then according to them
its your fault
so they reject
this is the path of mediocrity
and cretinism
all religions schism, narratives of homogeneity require force to maintain (which can be extremely brutal historically)
Knock Out Asinine Nits
photos
staring out from a smooth granite block
if not quizzical
then should be
stuck in eternity
like that
somewhere
there must be a couple that mesh
and get along with each other
somewhere
i’m gone
the world rolls on
i disappear
and appear
the pages of a book that flick through
some words rest
and others don’t
skimming stones
eventually
stop
and sink
rhoticity explained to me, i now understand it, but otherwise i wouldn’t have had a clue except for the joking use of irish, scottish, canadian or usa accents
i think the zen term "seamless monument" is a metaphor for reality, you can’t penetrate it, there’s no artefact of manufacture since it has no seam, it can only be traversed, which btw is the basic philosophical problem of existence, there is no "inner" reality that subsumes "the detail of being"
“ I m currently 16 years old and a "child prodigy". I started university at 14. I have thus far only received one grade which was not an A+. It was an A-. I have memorized 100 digits of pi, the periodic table, and most of the Dungeons & Dragons rulebooks. I am learning Latin, Ancient Greek, Biblical Hebrew, Sahidic Coptic, Spanish, and Italian. I just like old languages. I don’t have to study long — I have a nearly photographic memory. When I do study, I just write things out over and over. I am a very visual thinker, so I remember pictures. Ask me anything ! ”
ed. she also has ehlers-danlos syndrome and is ADHD
in my view, the languages are a big mistake, they interfere with each other
“ Why do you think that ? ”
the languages you list are particularly disjunctive its a heavy learning burden with heaps of "opportunity costs" and the skill is becoming increasingly redundant with AI translators
also my experience of polyglots is they get damaged in some way
the brain is not infinitely capable, beware of burning it in waste of time activities, which to be honest a lot of so called education is
dr. alan cole argues that zen masters are in fact "made-over" daoist sages
i would go further and say that the koan system involves the same sort of "puzzling process" as the tao te ching
when you hear this sort of crap from the policy making elites, no wonder china is a problem !
the real impact of the one child policy may be the scarcity of anyone at the higher levels of government or policy being able to think straight
of course, this is to the advantage of the west and is the same problem japan had in WW2, idiots determining their strategic direction
boundaries crossing
abatement of being
from this perspective
everything looks crazy
really ?
do you ever listen to anything outside your own echo chamber ?
sad souls
in the twilight of their lives
mumbling gibberish
the words of others
are not your own
if you actually understood
why wouldn’t you use your own words ?
time separates
that childhood intensity
fades
as the branches grow apart
what was not seen at the time
is now seen
you are not well read and have an "anti-creative" mindset !
i’m getting on in years and just can’t be bothered to deal with your hubris
good-bye
ed. the net is full of these entitled gen Z’ers with a deeply entrenched intellectual inertia created by a malfunctioning education system
valves, muscle, connective tissue, timing
easy to see how it can go wrong as we get older
this dynamic core of existence in the center of our chests where every beat needs to be followed by another
i think religion can be regarded as a hallucination, the hallucination being that a literary work is real, perhaps most easily seen in the beliefs of ancient egypt, what are the pyramids and all those smaller tombs about ?
the reification of stories
these people
who
rather than bringing something to the table
only
take
and
are
impertinent
with
it
the puzzle of the poetry of others
seems to need the conversion
into something
i understand
"the girl on a bulldozer" (2022), a good tightly written kdrama
caodong poetry 23; verses on master fushan’s sixteen themes #4; touzi; translated by suru

1. not falling into life or death

on the day when the golden rooster heralds the coming spring
the jade hare conceives, entering the purple palace
reeds bloom on both shores, shadowing egrets
an old fisherman lifts his oar, dispersing mist, returning home
.
不落死活。 金雞日裏報春時。 玉兔懷胎入紫微。 兩岸蘆華映白鷺。 漁翁舉棹撥煙歸。
.
my reply
one day
the distance travelled
catches up with you
and you have arrived
.
one day
the distance travelled
catches up with you
you
have
arrived
ed. the terms in suru’s translation are very chinese and have a historical perspective, so i have "reworked" it into something modern that people will understand
“ ChatGPT-4 scored higher than 100% of psychologists on a test of social intelligence ”
hilarious
a tui calls
stunning the silence
my day is filled
with melody
ed. the tui is a new zealand native songbird
if you have ever attempted to count the number words in a book or whatever, which i have, count the number in a couple of paragraphs, then multiply by the inverse of whatever proportion of a page it is then multiply by the number of pages and i figure you get within 10% which is close enough
i’ve written millions of words, its like an exclusive club and its interesting to know who else is in it
giacomo casanova’s autobiography
the book comprises 12 volumes and approximately 3,500 pages (1.2 million words) covering casanova’s life from his birth to 1774
i have read most of it, people misunderstand him as a legendary lothario, but he is much more interesting than that

Saw someone comment this once and it needs to brought up here lol.
Here is a list of weird shit christi has done :
-screamed at paige

• racist towards Kaya
  
• screaming at Maddie about Chloe beating her
  

-accusing maddie of lying and cheating

• tweeted shade about maddies TCA award win over chloe saying it was rigged
  
• retweeted a tweet calling maddie a pretty little liar after the girls talk episode
  
• following a twitter group called “the circle” dedicated to writing nasty things about maddie
  
• saying maddie didnt wanna skate because she couldnt handle not being the best at everything
  
• getting mad that an 8yr old maddie was crying after the watermelon game and accused her of hating when the other girls get attention
  
• going on her podcast saying that if chloe acted how maddie did she would be called a brat
  
• imitating maddies voice
  
• gleefully told a story about how maddie at 4 yrs old forgot her trio with chloe and paige
  
• tweeted shade that maddie bought followers to surpass chloe on instagram
  
• angrily called maddie “your precious one” in front of her
  
• screamed at melissa saying mackenzie wasnt an og
  
• screamed about melissas home life when her kids could hear
  
• took kurts side even after the girls opened up about their difficulties w their dad
  
• painted kristie ray as aggressive when she called her a bitch
  
• screamed “what place did brynn get” “you’ll never be on broadway” to a 13 yr old
  
• brought out an old dance competition book just to say kendall was 10th
  
• implied maddie would be dumb if she was homeschooled and then put chloe in homeschooling
  
• made fun of abby non consensually kissing maddie in 2022
  
• said paiges party being held at maddies house was because the Zieglers wanted to manipulate the other girls into not talking bad about them
  
• complained that the zieglers think theyre above the other girls because they didnt wanna take pictures despite her praising the girls for not posting pics because they didnt want to be known as the dance moms girls
  
• made weird sexual comments ab melissa on her pod
  
• banned the word maddie from her instagram comment section
  

By popular demand, I guess...
I was kinda just being a smart-ass, but some of you wanted more so here it is: epilogues for every NPC as if they didn't continue to travel with Gorion's Ward and instead just decided to live their own life. Obviously, there are some implied alignment changes here.
This turned out to be longer than I expected and I kinda just threw it all together while I was working. Please excuse any typos or sloppy writing.
I want to apologize for one thing, though. Viconia's epilogue really only works if GW is a male, so I had to make that assumption for the sake of her story. If it matters any, I easily play just as many female GWs as I do male GWs. In fact, I probably play more female GWs because I don't care for the romances, frequently play the canon party, and want to nip the lame Jah romance in the bud.
But, to have them all in one place, I included my original smart-ass epilogues with the additional ones I created. Now, every character from BG1 and BG2 has an epilogue. I don't have the EE characters, though, because I play the original games and don't really know them.
So, just for funsies, which one is your favorite and why?
"Anomen continued to wait at the Copper Coronet for a party of adventurers willing to travel with him. Maybe it was the grating sound of his voice, or perhaps the way he leered at women, but he continued to remain alone. Eventually, he needed to find work to make ends meet. With Gorion's Ward having disbanded the slave traders and pit fights, Hendak had to find a new form of entertainment for the patrons. As such, he invented an all male review ladies night, and Anomen found work as a 'dancer'. He left the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart to join the less noble order of the pole. He also renounced his faith to Helm and instead allied himself with Waukeen because if you wanna see some groin, you gotta have some coin."
"Despite Gorion's Ward clearing the trolls from her keep, Nalia was not able to reclaim her lands and instead lost her estate to Lord Roenall. The lord offered to let her retain residence in her family's ancestral home, but only in exchange for her hand in marriage. Nalia found the proposition to be repugnant. Instead, she salvaged whatever wealth she could from her family's keep and moved to Athkatla to start a new life. She no longer helped the less fortunate, as she was now among their numbers and had her own problems. Nalia's lack of any practical skills combined with her sense of entitlement sent her into a life of failure followed by drinking and debauchery. She now spends more time back at the Copper Coronet than anywhere else. It is hard to say where she squanders her wealth more, the alcohol, or on the dancers during Ladies Night."
"After the incident with the Planar Sphere, Valygar was finally free of his past, could retire to his cabin, and pursue his true passion: writing. Ironically, the only inspiration he found ended up stemming from his family's checkered past. Valygar's only works that even had middling success were 'Tuesdays with Lavok' and 'Dude, Where's My Planar Sphere', with the latter being made into a production at the Five Flagoons Theater."
"Haer'Dalis continued to work as a performer at the Five Flagoons Theater. Unfortunately, it struggled due to poor management. It might have turned out better if an outside agent with fresh ideas had stepped in, but Gorion's Ward had better things to do than be a bard. While the work was generally steady, the returns were not great and the material was a little low-brow for Haer'Dalis' liking. The tiefling realized he reached rock bottom when he was cast as the lead in a play about a buffoon who apparently lost a plane-shifting apparatus the size of a small castle and had to find it before his parents returned from Neverwinter. After the opening night, he took his own life in his dressing room. His body was found the next morning with a note saying, 'Art is dead and I am art, so I shall join art in death.' Biff the Understudy stepped in for Haer'Dalis despite never having an opportunity to read the script. Nevertheless, the production was a resounding success and launched Biff's career to new heights."
“A heartbroken Garrick found work as a character actor at the Five Flagoons Theater, but eventually gained more success as a writer and director. He found it to be a mostly agreeable situation, aside from a tiefling primadonna who would constantly belittle his work and call it ”trite" and “drivel”. Fortunately, that situation worked itself out in time and Garrick found Biff to be much easier to direct. With the tiefling gone, his ideas had room to grow. He invented a new kind of love story, one where the protagonist doesn't always get the girl at the end but the journey to that ending would be quite amusing. He labeled this genre “the Comedy of Romance” and the works were mostly based on his own life. His plays were quite popular among the commoners, with his top selling shows being 'Sleepless in Saradush', 'Silverymoon Linings Playbook', and 'Crazy Rich Aasimars'. He eventually fully transitioned off the stage into the director's chair. By the peak of his fame, he was married to none other than Queen Ellesime."
“Aerie continued to work at the circus and WOULD NOT SHUT UP ABOUT HER DAMN WINGS. Even Quayle eventually grew sick of hearing about it. This put strain on their relationship. Things took a turn for the better when Ribald Barterman acquired a new curiosity for his shop. It was a magical ring which he sold to Quayle at a reduced rate out of sympathy. This ”treasure" was actually a cursed Ring of Deafness, which Quayle found to be anything but a curse and wore it for the rest of his days."
“Xzar and Montaron were both slain at the hands of the Athkatla Harpers, but this is actually where their story begins. Xzar, as he had done so many times before, had a backup plan of an arcane nature should death befall either he or the halfling. Their mortal essences were pulled to a pocket plane he created. There they could be channeled into restored bodies cloned at his estate. With this particular round of ritual, Xzar had incidentally made a slight error in the incantation and the two found themselves in a time suspended state in Xzar's pocket plane. It was only five minutes for the rest of the world, but it was fifty years for them. This turned out to be a pivot point in their relationship. Having only each other's company in this shadowy void, they were finally able to work out their feelings for each other. When they had returned to the prime material plane, they discovered their mutual animosity was replaced with love. Rather than pick up their life where they left off with the Zhentarim, they decided to pack it all in, moved to Bryn Shander, and start a bed and breakfast. Montaron rediscovered his halfling roots and love for the culinary arts while Xzar would perform seances to connect guests with their late loved ones. Scones and Bones became an overnight success and was consistently listed as a “must see” in Volo's travel guides. In their golden years, the couple co-wrote a memoir of their journey, ‘Brokeback Montaron’, which is sold in bookstores everywhere."
“After briefly crossing paths with Gorion's Ward, Mazzy Fentan continued her crusade as a de facto halfling paladin. She eventually found herself petitioning for membership at the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart in Athkatla after she had singlehandedly saved a village from an ancient dracolich. Despite the extent of her virtue and accomplishment, her petition was denied on the basis that halflings could not possibly be real paladins. This inspired her next crusade, one to break down vocational barriers for all demihuman races. Why couldn't halflings be paladins or dwarves be wizards? And why did gnomes always have to be illusionists? It simply made no goddamn sense. She began to get traction with her quest when she attended lectures by the wizards of the (sword) coast in Candlekeep. With their help, she ushered Faerun into a new edition era where there would be no vocational barriers for adventurers based on their race. Soon, the world began to see roguish halflings that also venerated Helm, while tending to the wilds as a druid. Half-orc bards also studied as wizards while manifesting natural arcane abilities as sorcerers. Tiefling paladins took their crusades to the wilderness and served as rangers, while sidelining as clergy to Mystra. The world was now a liberated place, free to not make any goddamn sense in a myriad of new ways. At one point, Lady Mazzy Fentan of Trademeet (now formally a paladin) crossed paths with a dwarven shadowdancebard and in that moment she regretted everything. Seriously, just take a moment and picture that. It would look fucking ridiculous.”
“Yeslick's clanhome was flooded once again. Despondent and without options, he took work at a smithy in Baldur's Gate but never stopped dreaming of finding both a clan and a home. He found a way to bring this dream to life after a courageous halfling paladin broke down the barriers for, among other things, dwarves to be wizards. Yeslick had an idea. He studied magic diligently until he was able to cast two spells of great importance: Water Breathing and Permanence. He then searched the lands for other clanless dwarves who would be willing to try something new. With the new clan he formed, Yeslick permanently gave all his fellow clansman the ability to breath underwater. They then moved into the flooded Cloakwood Mines and built the first underwater dwarven stronghold. Using his arcane powers, Yeslick also developed the ability to speak with the marine life that shared this stronghold. And, with that, the clan Aquadwarf was born. At one point, Valygar visited and wrote a play based on Yeslick's story. However, he couldn't even get it to stage at the Five Flagoons Theater. The illustrious director Garrick was quoted as saying, “A hero that can breath underwater and talk to fish? Nobody would go for that!"
“Keldorn finally retired from the Most Noble Order of the Radiant Heart and looked forward to a much simpler life. He rekindled his marriage with Lady Maria and life seemed to improve. It was rather early on when the couple discovered that Maria had become pregnant again. It was also not long after that when Peony, the housekeeper, also became pregnant. Maria started to ask Keldorn about this, but Keldorn started to get defensive and asked, ”Hey, who's the Inquisitor here?" Then Keldorn started to do the math with her to track the conception of Maria's pregnancy. She certainly did not want him to get to the end of that equation, so she quickly changed the subject. She suggested getting a new maid, but Keldorn chastised her for abandoning someone in their time of need who had been like family for years. He forbade Peony's departure claiming that his god, Torm, would not stand for it. Maria then made a passive aggressive comment about Torm being the god of loyalty, but she was mostly just muttering under her breath to get the last word in. Eventually, both children were born and had probably the most awkward upbringing of anyone in Faerun."
“After Gorion's Ward helped Coran take down a wyvern, the rogue brought the beast's head back to the mayor of Beregost for the reward and accolades. He thought this put him in a position to be a hero of great renown and perhaps, just maybe, people would stop mocking him for his flashy attire and completely superfluous eye mask. They didn't. He only gained acceptance when he crossed paths with a ranger who seemed indifferent towards Coran's keen fashion sense. Coran traveled the Sword Coast with his ranger sidekick, righting the wrongs against the ‘little guy’ and taking the law into their own hands when needed. This partnership dissolved when he discovered that the ranger thought Coran was the sidekick. As if! Coran tried to correct the ranger, whose argument was, 'Really, man, if that outfit doesn't scream sidekick then I'm Elminster's twin brother.' The ranger was not related to Elminster and shared no resemblance.
“Kivan never was able to get his revenge on Tazok. Unbeknownst to him, that honor was taken by Gorion's Ward. His thirst for vengeance continued to eat away at him until he found himself in a bat infested cave in the wilderness. It was then he snapped. He turned the cave into his secret hideaway, put together a disguise and started wandering the sword coast looking for evil-doers to punish. He would leave his calling card wherever he saved the day, a token of a bat with longer ears like an elf. And bats already had rather long ears so these bat ears were almost comically obtrusive. Nevertheless, his deeds were generally appreciated and the people stared calling him Bat-elf. For a short spell, another elf tagged along with him and tried to help, but he was so flamboyantly dressed that one could pick his sidekick out of the shadows blindfolded. Kivan eventually had to send him on his way. Unfortunately, his vigilante crusade abruptly ended after receiving a cease and decist order from DC Comics. Kivan could fight both monster and marauder all day, but his 14 Constitution wouldn't hold up against a lawsuit for trademark infringement.”
“Skie was deeply affected by both the death of her brother and the assassination of her father. And yes, her father was actually murdered and didn't lol-jk back to life in some crappy DLC. In any event, through these traumas, she came to realize the puerility of what she thought was her brilliant criminal masterminding. Instead, she decided to settle down and live a more responsible life as an upstanding citizen of Baldur's Gate. She took the reins of her father's estate after his death and rose to prominence as one of the Grand Dukes of the city. She maintained her relationship with Eldoth for quite some time, inexplicably, as he refused to get a job because he didn't want to take attention from his band which he swore was going to make it. However, the bard spent most of the day either lounging at Skie’s estate or gambling away his allowance with games of three-dragon-ante at the Helm and Cloak. Eventually, inspired by the book “Men Are From Menzoberranzan, Women Are From Immilmar," she decided to call it quits with Eldoth and sent him packing. Shortly thereafter, she met a man who was nothing like Eldoth and they settled down together to start a family."
“Eldoth's dreams of being a world-famous musician fronting the greatest band in Faerun never reached fruition. This was partly because he didn't actually have a band and partly because he didn't have the talent to write music. Instead, he just had a lute he purchased at Lucky Aello's Discount Store that only had one A-string and was missing the E-string. Also, Eldoth could only play power chords and he couldn't really sing and play at the same time. Most of the time he would just strum a chord or two and then talk about what the song would do next, often describing a solo and half playing it on an ”air lute" (while he was still holding an actual lute, mind you) to give people the idea as to how the song would sound when it was finally written. Yeah, he was one of those guys. After Skie kicked him to the curb, he bounced between various barmaids who clearly had low self-esteem, but not low enough to keep him around for long. Eventually, he got one of them pregnant and was forced into a shotgun wedding by the barmaid's father. He now works in the kitchen at the same inn as his barmaid wife. She helps the customers up front and he cooks eggs in the back. Eldoth continues to tell himself that this experience will just provide inspiration for his music and that someday he was going to get the band back together."
“After being rescued by Gorion's Ward, Xan made his way to Baldur's Gate to regroup. He spent an inordinate amount of time beating himself up over his failures and trying to muster the gumption to continue his quest to unravel the political turmoil of the region. However, it took him months to get to this point, and by that time, Gorion's Ward already sorted out the problems in the region. Discovering this, he deemed himself a failure yet again and sunk into a deeper depression. He pulled himself out of it when he met a woman who lost most of her family to violent deaths during the iron crisis, yet she still kept herself together and became a local success in a few short years. Xan immediately fell in love with the recently single Skie Silvershield and began to court her. They eventually married and started a family. At Xan's insistence, and inspired by his wife's name, their two daughters were named Sunshine and Rainbow. Xan was a staunch supporter of his wife's career and stayed home to raise the kids. When they were older and needed less attending, he followed a new dream and became a motivational speaker.”
“Korgan had his revenge against his backstabbing crew and employer, but he felt...empty. It was done, but he felt no satisfaction. Disgruntled and disappointed, he decided to lose himself in his cups at the Copper Coronet. Even this did nothing to alleviate his malaise. One night, having passed out drunk in a peasant room at the Copper Coronet, he dreamt of that final fight but something was different. In the background of the battle, there was a glow coming from the door of a shack and he heard the whispering of a language that sounded like it was from Kara-Tur. When he woke the next morning, Korgan returned to the rooftop and found the shack from his dream. He knocked and was greeted by a priest of Illmater. Korgan told the priest of his dream and he was led into the backroom where he found a man from Kara-Tur infirm and huddled over a cup of tea. The priest explained that he had just reincarnated this man of the faith using a heart delivered by a passing adventurer. Korgan took this as a sign, converted to the faith, and the two paired up to help those in suffering as a result of the schemes of others. The tales of Korgan and Yoshimo were not only told in many of a tavern by the bards, but also collected in graphic serials that were popular among the children of Athkatla.”
“Ajantis' death sent him into an afterlife at Everwatch, the realm of Helm. For his honor and diligence, the devout knight was granted an audience with his patron. Ajantis then told Helm what utter bullshit the god was. I mean, c'mon, he's the god of protection, the Vigilant One, and he couldn't protect a group of knights from a dragon's cheap illusion spell that a mage even tried to dispel with True Sight? It was like Helm wasn't even trying. Helm was stunned by the confrontation but also had no valid defense. Ajantis called Helm to a trial that was mediated by Tyr. After careful deliberation, Tyr determined that Helm was sleeping on the job and the judgment was to demote him to a lesser deity. Now, Helm was the patron of guards, but not actual guards that ever see action, just the ceremonial ones whose weapons and armor are super shiny and probably not even real. Ajantis was then granted Helm's old portfolio and became a god that truly protected his followers.”
“Viconia left Athkatla's government district perplexed. She was rescued from burning at the stake by Gorion's Ward and then immediately dismissed. She found this to be unusual behavior for a male. She was accustomed to men either trying to bed her or kill her, but this casual indifference was completely new. Viconia came to be obsessed with Gorion's Ward from a distance. She spiraled into a fantasy where the two of them had a future together. It was pretty bad. There were some extremely embarrassing vision boards involved and that wasn't even the worst of it. When her mania reached critical mass, her obsession actually collapsed and she had an epiphany. She came to realize that she did not need this man, or any for that matter. She started on a journey of self discovery and took a moral inventory of her past relationships. She wrote about it in the book, “Men Are From Menzoberranzan, Women Are From Immilmar”. She then used the revenue from the book sales to open Athkatla's first feminist bookstore. In Her Words became a mecca for women, particularly those who felt trapped in bad relationships. The community that emerged here created the group, Friends of Galia, which strove to free women from abusive relationships. Eventually, the bookstore expanded to include an apartment block above that became a shelter for such women. Occasionally, the partners of these victims would come around to In Her Words in an attempt to drag their partners back home. You can probably guess how a confrontation between a drunken 0-level commoner and a Drow priestess of Shar ends."
“Faldorn was defeated by Jaheira in Trademeet and lost her title of Arch-Druid. In truth, she was relieved to be relieved of the position. Years of pushing forward the Shadow Druid agenda led Faldorn to realize that she had lost touch with the real Faldorn along the way. After some soul-searching, she reinvented herself as a lifestyle guru and developed an entire line of organic health and beauty products under the name, She-Wolf. Both her products and seminars were all the rage in Athkatla, specifically among noblewomen who clearly had too much free time. Faldorn eventually gave up her residence in natural environs for a lavish estate in Athkatla's government district. Her following soon pressured her to petition to join the Council of Six after the fall of the Cowled Wizards left the position open (aside from a short-term replacement). Her petition was a success and she soon found herself on the Council of Six. Under her leadership, she created created the FDAA, the Food and Drink Association of Athkatla. Now, instead of draconian rules governing magic in the city, equally restrictive rules and standards were applied to the food and drink that the people consumed.”
“Barely surviving being gravely wounded by Irenicus, Tiax left Spellhold for Athkatla where he intended to do what he did best: rule. Learning from his past campaign mistakes in Baldur's Gate, he changed his slogan from ”Tiax Rules!" to “Make Athkatla Great Again”. Of course, what he thought would make Athkatla great was putting himself in charge as a despotic leader. But, he toned down that aspect of his platform and instead focused on the history of scheming and backroom dealing of the Cowled Wizards (as if he was any less evil or scheming) and promised the people he would be different than all the other corrupt politicians. Miraculously, despite his obviously apparent character flaws, he succeeded in replacing the Cowled Wizards' representative on the Council of Six. He decided to take their stance on restrictive magic to the next level and banned magic entirely. Since he didn't study the arcane himself, it was no skin of his nose. This move undermined his support base leaving him with only the most backwards and ignorant followers. He was ultimately removed from his position when he insisted the city build a wall around the planar sphere and was expecting that the city's wizards would be the ones to pay for it. After his removal, his few remaining extreme supporters organized an invasion of the main government building under the guise of freedom of assembly. All nine of these “rebels” were rounded up, tried, and sent to prison. Tiax was convicted of treason and reincarnated in Spellhold, which was now just a common prison. After his eventual release, he was prohibited from seeking any position of power in Amn."
"Edwin Odesseiron continued to lay low with the Shadow Thieves for a while. The Cowled Wizards suffered a crippling blow as a side effect of the conflict between Gorion's Ward and Irenicus. Edwin decided to step in and finish the job. His thought was that he could wipe out the Cowled Wizard remnants and then take credit for their defeat, thereby gaining him more clout among the Red Wizards of Thay. After many conspicuous mage battles in the streets of Athkatla, he succeeded. However, the people who noticed his efforts the most were actually the people of Athkatla. They were tired of living under the Cowled Wizards' iron fist and Edwin was lauded as a liberator and hero. He even had a statue in his image raised in Waukeen's Promenade. Edwin was initially nonplussed over people finally giving him the credit he always felt he so rightfully deserved. But, he quickly came to accept their praise and bought in to being a champion for the people. Edwin continued his agenda of liberation when a clearly insane gnome who found his way on the Council of Six tried to ban magic entirely in the city. Edwin and his followers were primarily responsible for having the madman removed from his seat.
“Shar-Teel, Safana, Branwen, and Alora all happened to cross paths with each other at Elfsong one evening. Shar-Teel was looking to fight a man, Safana was looking to shag a man, Branwen was recently petrified by a man, and Alora was just excited to be somewhere new. The four got to talking with each other and, despite having wildly different personalities, seemed to hit it off. Shar-Teel was sarcastic and aggressive, Safana was self-absorbed and man-hungry, Alora was kind and sweet, and Branwen was the matriarch of the group. You wouldn't think this lot would get along, but they actually did, and their differences merely become the fuel for innocuous hi-jinks week after week.”
"With Gorion's Ward's help, Cernd was able to rescue his child that he then abandoned again at the druid grove near Trademeet. He promised that he would return to raise the child, he just needed to run to the general shop in Trademeet for some pipeweed. He never returned, but that was pretty obvious since he didn’t even smoke. Cernd continued to wander Faerun. It came to light in Cormyr that Cernd had actually married, and had children, with numerous women in Cormyr, Amn, the Sword Coast, Tethyr, Calimshan, Turmish, Halruaa, Icewind Dale, Chondath, Sembia, Impiltur, the Silver Marches, and even the Troll Hills (don't ask). Furthermore, it was discovered that Cernd was not actually a druid, just a werewolf that had a Ring of Goodberries. The druid con was so that he could have a reason to abandon his wives and children and move on to a new situation. You would be surprised at how many women could fall for a guy that can conjure an impromptu picnic in the park. Unfortunately for Cernd, Cormyr was not the kind of place to run afoul of the legal system. For the crime of bigamy, he was sentenced to life in prison. He never set foot near a druid grove again, but he was allowed to participate in a work-release program tending to the gardens of nobles.
“Kagain returned to his shop and grew even more bitter, but not over what the death of Entar Silvershield's son had done to his reputation and business. Instead, he resented that even the Enhanced Edition of the game didn't give him a remotely decent companion quest. By Moradin's hammer, Cernd even had a pretty involved companion quest and the story there both starts and ends with a deadbeat dad! Also, Kagain can regenerate! Korgan can't even do that. And another thing! He was sick of people confusing the two of them as if all dwarves look alike or something. Ok, granted, they're both old dwarves with greying beards, but Korgan's beard is tied while Kagain's beard is brushed out. Of course, none of this made sense to anyone, even to Kagain who never actually crossed paths with Cernd or Korgan. However, the dwarf had nothing to do with his time except stand in his shop, isolated and alone, until he was done in by insanity and plantar fasciitis.”
“The death of Khalid shook Jaheira to the core. She convinced herself that she could never love again, certainly not so soon after his death nor with anyone that would be a child in her eyes. That would be absurd and rather tacky. After her escape from Irenicus' prison and deposing Faldorn from the druid grove, she took over as Arch-Druid. Being a Harper just wouldn't be the same without Khalid. However, the grove would allow her to explore a new, but comfortingly familiar, phase of life. She had barely been installed as the Arch-Druid when Cernd dropped off his child and disappeared again. He did not even stay long enough to tell Jaheira the child's name. Knowing he would likely not return, she named the child Khalid after her lost love. Realizing there were other children our there without families to care for them, Jahaeira would send her subordinates to wander nearby lands and bring them to the grove for a better life. Perhaps not surprisingly, many of these children happened to be Cernd's. She eventually renamed the grove to Kinder Garden in honor of the grove's new purpose of giving these children a kinder upbringing. Jaheira's headstrong personality served her well with these lost children, who all loved her as they would any mother. The Kinder Garden became the most thriving druid grove in all of Faerun. Jaheira eventually died in 1547 DR, with hundreds of children haven been rescued in her lifetime, and a memorial was erected in her honor at the grove. The inscription read, 'Nature's Servant Awaits.'"
“After being freed from Irenicus' dungeon, Minsc put his boots on the ground at the Copper Coronet. Being the simple man that he was, he found himself unwittingly recruited into fighting in the gladiator pits (before Gorion's Ward was able to free the slaves). Yet again, Minsc took a blow to the head. But this time, its effects were something completely new. No longer was he the slow-witted evil-slaying ranger, armed to the teeth and packing a hamster. Instead, his intelligence and wisdom started to blossom and he explored, through dissertation, the impact of modern civilization on the overall ecosystem of Faerun. Indeed, before Minsc started his work, the people of Faerun didn't even have the concept of an ”ecosystem". He left Athkatla to pursue a residency at Jaheira's grove where he could study and work in peace. He published works like, “The Intersection of Geopolitics and Biodiversity: Living More but Dying Sooner”, “The Essential Symbiosis Between the Savage and Civilization”, and “Moral Urbanization: Seeking a More Comprehensive Prosperity”. Minsc continued his studies and writing and ultimately produced enough groundbreaking works to have his own annex in Candlekeep. It was shortly after the dedication of this annex that Minsc disappeared from Faerun, never to be seen again."
“Jan Jansen's fate was the most impressive of all as his endeavors shaped the very fabric of Faerun for centuries to come. His story truly serves as a moral lesson for everyone and we should heed its virtue quite seriously. Helping Lissa and Jaella planted a seed of regret in Lissa with regards to her marriage to Vaelag. Speaking of seeds, this reminds Jan of a time when he was helping his Uncle Scratchy with his turnip farm. However, Uncle Scratchy was hoodwinked and the seeds he received were actually purple carrot seeds. You can imagine Uncle Scratchy's surprise when they sprouted and he suddenly had a field of purple carrots. Well, as you probably know, you can't make turnip stew, or turnip casserole, or turnip pie with purple carrots. But it just so happened there was a mage tower nearby and the resident mage needed a vast number of carrots. Apparently, her plan was to animate them as a kind of vegetable army to combat a myconid infestation in cave system rather close to her tower. Of course, animated carrots are quite self-assured and were immune to myconoid's confusion spores. Anyway, Jan had a once-removed cousin, Bobil, that was lost in those caves when he was a young gnome. He had wandered so deep that he found himself in the den of a solitary xvart who was obsessed with a magic ring. Bobil happened to purloin that ring but it turned out to not be magic at all. However, it was still worth enough for Bobil to buy himself a nice cottage in Trademeet. He then started his own turnip farm and had better luck than Uncle Scratchy. Wait, what were we talking about, again?”
“Boo continued his mission to study the sentient life forms of Faerun and determine their potential impact on the metaverse. He preferred the continued company of Minsc due to the ranger's kindness and protectiveness. Boo found this to be quite valuable in his current miniaturized state. Even after Minsc's accident, where his intellect began to expand, Minsc never lost his good heart and inherent kindness and the two remained the best of friends. It was a number of years later that the term of Boo's mission was complete. A team of his fellow people arrived on a spelljammer to collect the giant miniaturized space hamster. Minsc (and Boo) were on a retreat in a remote part of the Neverwinter Wood when a vessel shaped like a giant acorn landed in a nearby clearing. A number of human-sized anthropomorphic hamster-like beings, who called themselves the Ysoki, emerged and met with Boo. One had a strange crystalline device which it used to restore Boo to his proper size. Minsc naturally remained composed while all this was happening. He and Boo talked often and he knew this day would be coming. Boo returned to the spelljammer with his brethren to debrief on the mission. The Ysoki wanted to bring a sample back to their homeworld for further learning and study. Boo offered Minsc for the task, as the exemplar human would fit in nicely with the Ysoki's advanced culture and society. Everyone was in agreement and made the offer to the ranger. Minsc felt like he had made every contribution he could to the people of Faerun, so he accepted and boarded the ship. Boo, excited to finally be on a spelljammer again, took the helm and plotted a course for his homeworld. At his side sat his friend and faithful companion, Minsc.”

You don't have to read. Thanks if you do though.
For starters, I'm not looking for any reassurance or guidance from anyone. It's all noise in my head that gets filtered out at this point. Nothing anyone ever says actually turns out to be true when I partly try to share my problems. I truly do believe I'm useless. I've had no real purpose ever since I was born, and I don't have any purpose now. Sometimes people say to "be patient", but I can't stand that. Thousands upon millions my age have achieved and done so much, and I'm not just saying that because I'm comparing myself to them. I know there isn't any point in that. I compare myself to my myself yesterday - that much I've learned - but there hasn't been any significant change in me no matter how I think or what I do. I can't escape the hole I've dug for myself. I have a single true online friend, whom I consider better family than my blood family. We chat regularly, we're both artists, and we're even writing a comic together as a passion project. We've shared a lot of private stuff between us, and I genuinely love that I get to know this person. Before I can let them down, too, that is. Other than them, I had a good circle of real life friends. Before they all turned to drugs, alcohol, or just became narcissistic assholes and I've had to cut myself from them. I've tried pulling every single one out of those paths and hold as tight as possible, because I know what it's like to be given up on, and I have failed each and every single time, only giving up when my mental state was so bad that I zoned out of reality, and the days became blurs. They still are, occasionally.
I feel the worst when I'm talking to my mother. She smiles and laughs occasionally when I'm around, but that's just because I'm at home all the time and she gets to ramble about our parrots. But I know that's not what she truly feels. It's like she's just hearing a good joke from a person she dislikes. I wouldn't say I'm hated, but I believe that she'd prefer having someone else in the room when I'm around. I never share anything with her - it turns into a lecture if I do, or I get bombarded with questions which I never have the answer to. I feel immeasurable shame and guilt just standing around her, not to mention around my step-father, where it's x2 worse. It feels like I'm constantly being judged by him, and I probably am. I'm 18 - turning 19 in 6 months - and I've sat in front of a PC my entire life. I always get teased about a girlfriend or irl friends, but that's just because I never share anything with them, as said earlier. Well, I don't have a girlfriend, though I had a male friend with benefits for a while. That is, until before he tried getting me to take pictures of myself or begging and talking me into the act even if I didn't want to. I broke it off eventually, even when he threatened to tell everyone about we were doing. (I called his bluff. We live in a country where if it's known that you swing the same way, you're likely to get beaten)
I keep telling myself I'll be better, but it never comes, no matter how many attempts I make on bettering myself. Sure, I exercise - a little less nowadays since I cant afford my gym membership anymore, now that I'm finished with high school and no longer get daily allowance from my parents, - I try to keep up basic hygiene, and I've become a little more social over the years. It's an improvement from the way I was in the past, but it all feels like it doesn't matter. The progress doesn't matter. In my eyes and the eyes of everyone around me, I wholeheartedly believe that they just see me as useless, or are about to. It just takes one bad day or mishap for them to do so. My older brother (by 5 years) has made many, countless attempts to be involved in my life. And after I pushed him away so many times, I got exactly what I wanted. Now he doesn't talk to me. He moved with his girlfriend - a lovely person as well - out of our apartment without so much as a 'bye', or even a text. I see him occasionally, and it's awkward each and every single time. We say our pleasantries, and then both stay quiet until someone else comes in the room to break the ice. It feels like I don't have the right to laugh with him.
I'm extremely aware of how self-destructive and bad this belief of mine is, but its impossible to ignore or change. And I really, really do want it to change. But I'm replaceable. Anyone can fulfil my role. I don't make money, and I don't make someone's day necessarily better by being around other than a single online person - which is sure to change. Sure, people might notice if I'm gone, but the feeling they have will go away after two days. I'm a mild inconvenience at best, and useless at worst. Both feel worse than being hated or despised. It's easy to ignore those people. But when I constantly disappoint everyone around me, and constantly disappoint myself, I can't set the thought aside. I'm a useless person. And by writing this, I probably pissed off 30% of people reading because I seem edgy. And the funny thing? I'd love to just say "No! - Wtf is wrong with you and why would you even say that?".
But I don't even know if I'm faking this for attention. I truly don't. Id say I haven’t gone through any serious trauma at all. I know people who've gone through much, much worse, and they still kick ass. In comparison, nothing is even explicitly wrong with my life. And its probably why whenever I've tried sharing my problems, I'm met with confusion. I sometimes wish that I DID go through something bad.
Maybe then people will have an easier time understanding why I always disappoint them. But, again, that just sounds like an excuse for attention.

Hi all! This is a rather comprehensive guide for newcomers to PC gaming to help understand the relevant technologies when it comes to docks, peripherals, external storage and monitors. This should help navigate the sometimes conflicting and confusing advice online and enable you to make buying decisions based on your personal needs.

Cables, Power Delivery and 30W Turbo

(More info regarding cables under Data Transfer - Cables)
Cables and Power Delivery
All USB C to C cables built to spec are capable of providing 20V@3A for a maximum of 60W. For any higher power output, there are different protocols and the Ally uses the Power Delivery (PD) protocol which is common for laptops - If you already have a laptop with USB C charging, check to see if its charger supports PD charging since you could use its charger with the Ally and vice versa.
The PD protocol requires a handshake where the power source, whether it be a charger or power bank, communicates its different capabilities (eg. 15V @ 3A = 45W, 20V @ 3.25A = 65W, 20V @ 5A = 100W, etc.) and the device communicates what it can safely receive over the USB cable. This communication requires an E marker chip built into the USB C cable which allows the power source to deliver up to 48V @ 5A = 240W, although it is more common to find the older 20V @5 A = 100W cables. The E marker is also what allows you to plug in a high output PD charger to charge much lower powered devices without frying any components since the charger will keep to a safe/low power output until the E marker communicates the capabilities on both ends.
The Ally uses the 20V @ 3.25A (65W) PD power profile and any USB C to C cable with an E marker should work for the Ally as long as your charger or power bank can deliver the aforementioned 20V @ 3.25A.
Note: Sometimes cables just aren't built to spec and cheaper cables might not work as intended or fail quickly. The E marker chip malfunctioning is a primary reason why your charger and cable combination might suddenly stop working as intended and not deliver the 65W to the Ally even if it did earlier - in most situations, it might just drop to 20V @ 3A (60W).
30W Turbo requirements
As far as the ROG Ally is concerned,

• If a 20V @ 3.25A PD profile (or higher) is powering the device, the device will allow up to 30W to the GPU.
• If the Ally can't draw at least 20V @ 3.25A, it'll max out at 25W to the GPU.
• USB A to C cables simply cannot provide the higher output PD wattages. Some USB A to C cables (OnePlus/Oppo ones for instance) use proprietary pin layouts to achieve higher power output up to 100W but these are proprietary implementations and won't work with the Ally.
• PD charging requires a USB C to C cable (or PD chargers with attached cables like the original charger)

How to enable 30W Turbo
If you're connecting the power source directly to the Ally, i.e. not using a hub:

• The original charger works flawlessly as well as any similar ones from reputable laptop brands (HP, Lenovo, etc.) that use PD and have the 20V @ 3.25A profile as well.
• If you're using a power bank or charger with a removable cable, make sure it supports the same PD profile as mentioned above and use a USB C to C cable with an E marker. Any cable with an E marker should reliably provide at least 100W since the minimum spec is 20V @ 5A.

If you're connecting the Ally through a dock/hub:
This is where things get interesting. Without getting very technical, USB specifications are set by the USB Implementers Forum (USB IF). For docks and hubs, the specification states that USB devices should be able to draw power at the port with max power draw specified. For USB 3 devices, this max power draw is 5V @ 900 mA (4.5W at the port) and for USB 2 devices, this max draw is 5V @ 500 mA (2.5W). This is why most docks and hubs have their own power requirement, around 15W usually but may vary, so that power is reserved for the USB ports. Depending on the device connected, this power draw can vary - a portable spinning hard disk drive will draw more power than a dongle for a wireless mouse for instance. Insufficient power to the ports can manifest in many ways such as USB devices disconnecting and reconnecting, HDMI intermittently disconnecting, etc.
I haven't been able to test this so please take this section with a grain of salt - docks that support 30W Turbo with the original charger don't seem to meet the official USB IF specs since the dock must be exposing the Ally to the 20V @ 3.25A PD profile without reserving any power to the USB ports. I haven't been able to confirm this myself as all the docks and hubs I use reserve around 15W for the ports and require at least 80W+ PD to allow the 30W Turbo mode. Based on my digging online, it seems like some people have no issues using these docks while others have reliability issues such as the ones I described earlier.
To summarise, enabling 30W Turbo mode reliably on the Ally when connected to a dock or hub requires (should require?) the following:

• A charger or power bank capable of 80W or higher PD profiles since the hub should ideally be reserving power for itself to prevent issues on the ports (usually around 15W but can vary).
• Like earlier, if you're using a removable cable with a charger or power bank, make sure to use a USB C to C cable with an E marker chip.
• Potential option if you have a 100W power bank that supports PD passthrough - in this scenario you can plug in your original ROG Ally charger to the power bank (65W input to the power bank) and then connect your dock to the power bank (up to 100W to the dock). I can confirm it works with this power bank: https://www.amazon.ca/imuto-26800mAh-Portable-Charger-Charging/dp/B0BC7NJHCW

If you don't care about playing on 30W Turbo mode,
As mentioned earlier, all USB C to C cables should be capable of at least 60W. Using a charger with any lower PD profiles such as a 45W charger will not cause any damage or harm, you might just lose battery even with a charger connected but that's about it. I often use my 25W phone charger or even Nintendo Switch charger - reliable chargers will not damage your device.

Data Transfer

General info
Mbps, MB/s, Gbps and GB/s - there's a difference.
You'll often see the terms Mbps or MB/s (alternatively Gbps or GB/s) used to refer to USB speed, storage speed, internet speeds, etc. but it's important to note the difference.
Mbps = Megabits per second, MB/s = Megabytes per second
Gbps = Gigabits per second, GB/s = Gigabytes per second
Data transfer is usually measured in Megabits per second, Mbps (or Gigabits per second, Gbps). Your internet speed is a great example of this. Files and any storage in general is measured as Megabytes or Gigabytes. To work out file transfers in Megabytes or Gigabytes per second use the following:
8 bits make up 1 byte and 1 Gigabit = 1000 Megabits. To keep things confusing, 1 Gigabyte = 1024 Megabytes.
If your internet service provider is providing a 1 Gigabit connection it works out to 1000/8= 125 Megabytes per second, i.e. a file that is 250 Megabytes will take 2 seconds to download. (Note: real speeds will always be lower due to network overhead, congestion, distance to servers and a bunch of other factors.)
A breakdown for the things most relevant to the ROG Ally:

• USB 2 ports, cables and devices max out at 480 Mbps, ie 480/8 = 60 Megabytes per second. These shouldn't be used for file transfer since they're slow but work great for peripherals such as keyboards, mice, webcams, wireless dongles, etc. These devices tend to use very little bandwidth and won't saturate a USB 2 port.
• USB 3.0 ports, cables and devices max out at 5 Gbps (5000 Mbps), ie. 5000/8 = 625 Megabytes per second. Ports on most docks max out at these speeds.
• USB 3.1 (also known as 3.1 Gen 2 because USB naming convention is a hot mess...) ports, cables and devices max out at 10 Gbps (10000 Mbps), ie. 10000/8 =1250 Megabytes per second.

The Ally's USB C port is USB 3.1 Gen 2 with DP Alt mode so the max transfer speed you can get from the Ally is 10 Gbps. Ideally you should look for docks and cables that are capable of 10 Gbps.

• USB 3.1 Gen 2x2: 20 Gbps, ie. 2500 Megabytes per second. Although the Ally can't achieve these speeds, you might find enclosures or portable SSD's operating at these speed at comparable prices to 10 Gbps ones when on sale. Just worth keeping an eye out for.
• USB 4/Thunderbolt: up to 40 Gbps, ie. 5000 Megabytes per second. if you have a device capable of USB 4/Thunderbolt I would recommend looking into a Thunderbolt dock/hub but otherwise they are overkill for the Ally since the dock will operate at lower speeds and some USB 4/TB features in the dock won't work at all. These hubs and cables require in depth certification making them very reliable but also very expensive.

Other notable mentions:

• A functioning SD card slot in the Ally (UHS-II): maxes out at 312 Megabytes per second
• LAN (1 gigabit): 125 Megabytes per second
• LAN (2.5 gigabit): 312.5 Megabytes per second
• WiFi 5: Typically 866Mbps, ie. 108.25 Megabytes per second
• WiFi 6 (80 Mhz channels): Typically 1201 Mbps, ie. 150.125 Megabytes per second
• WiFi 6 (160 Mhz channels): Typically 2402 Mbps, ie. 300.25 Megabytes per second

WiFi 5 and 6 speeds are theoretically MUCH higher but this is what most people can expect from their routers to their device - including crappy ISP provided routers.
For LAN and WiFI, these are the speeds you can expect on your local network and NOT the speed your ISP provides to the internet. Your local network is what you are using when you stream in home from a PC or console to the Ally using something like Steam Link or Sunshine. Or if you access storage on your network (NAS, Plex server, Jellyfin, etc.)
Real speeds will always be lower across the board when you account for any overhead such as the Windows File system, background tasks, network overhead etc.
Data Transfer - Cables
Make sure you're using a cable that can match the speed of the device, ie. if you're connecting a USB 3.0 device, make sure the cable also supports USB 3.0 at least. Similarly, you need to use a 10Gbps USB cable to achieve 10Gbps data transfer speeds. Using higher spec cables should always work reliably with lower spec devices too, such as using a 10Gbps cable with a USB 2 device will just operate at USB 2 speeds.
NOTE: A cable containing an E marker chip does not necessarily mean it can do video or even USB 3.0 file speeds. The E marker chip is unrelated to data transfer capabilities. In general, most 100W E marker cables only work at USB 2 speeds if used for file transfer, unless they explicitly state other capabilities.
I've personally had great reliability with 240W E marker cables though and it's been much easier to find reliable cables that provide 10Gbps data transfer, 4K 60Hz video output and any level of PD required all through one cable. I suspect the reliability mainly comes from the more stringent certification process required for 240W PD. These cables can be chonky though.
Can games run from an SD card, external hard drive, external SSD or USB flash drive?
Short answer, yes.
Longer answer, yes, but keep the following in mind:

• For most games, you will see a difference in terms of load times taking longer when running from external storage - the game performance should be identical though. Games which explicitly state they need internal SSDs can also work from removable storage but your mileage may vary. Forza Motorsport for instance throws a warning message upon launch but you can safely ignore it without issue.
• Some launchers work better with removable storage for games. Steam, Epic Games and Ubisoft have all worked great for me but games from XBox have had issues with updates breaking game files. Most launchers will allow you to select removable media for storage though.
• The Ally might not recognize games that are installed on removable storage if the storage isn't plugged in when you turn the Ally on. Basically, if you're not seeing a game you have installed, shut down the Ally, connect the storage device to the Ally directly or through a dock and then turn the Ally back on. The games should reappear and be playable.

My advice would be to install any game you intend to play only while the Ally is connected to a dock on external storage devices, otherwise install them internally. For instance, I only play Ace Combat when I'm connected to my TV so it made sense to install it on external storage that is always connected to my dock and TV.
External storage - What should I use?

• Cheap option - If you have an old laptop, PC or console that you no longer use, consider reusing the internal HDD or SSD from those devices in an enclosure. The form factor and connectors vary so make sure to buy the correct one. Spinning hard drives will be slower and depending on age, might not be the most reliable so keep that in mind.
• Using an M.2 SSD in a 10Gbps enclosure. I personally prefer this method since you can find M.2 SSDs frequently going on sale and it allows you to reuse the drive internally in a future PC build. If you don't want to go this route though, you can look into external SSDs from the likes of reliable brands like SanDisk, Samsung, Western Digital, etc. which offer comparable speeds to M.2 SSDs in an enclosure.
• USB/USB C flash drives (thumb drives) - I personally only recommend using flash drives to move data rather than for storing data but no harm if you want to install games on them.
• SD/Micro SD Cards - I wouldn't recommend buying one given the Ally's SD slot issues BUT if you already bought one or have any cards laying around, consider using an external card reader to plug into your dock/hub or to the Ally directly. Read/write speeds vary based on the card and reader but keep in mind that the Steam Deck runs games off its SD card slot (UHS I) which only has a max speed of 104 Megabytes per second.

What's the best keyboard, mouse, controller for the Ally?
This will entirely depend on you - There are three main ways to connect and each has its pros and cons. The way you personally see these pros and cons will help you pick.
Wired devices:
Pros - lowest latency in most cases, no need to recharge devices.
Cons - need a dock to connect more than one device and you'll need to manage cables.
Bluetooth:
Pros - cable free, no need for a dock to connect to your devices.
Cons - some latency, need recharging/batteries, connectivity issues are common.
Wireless dongles:
Pros - cable free, lower latency than Bluetooth and some devices have latency comparable to wired performance.
Cons - still need a dock if you require more than one dongle, dongles often use 2.4Ghz protocols and might have crazy interference with poorly shielded devices around them.
Some devices will offer more than one way to connect - I've found them ideal for the Ally.
My peripherals (not recommendations per se, rather my use case since all were bought for an existing work from home/gaming PC setup)
Keyboards:

• Keychron K4 (V2): 3 devices over Bluetooth or wired. The Bluetooth has always been slow to connect with any device so I use it wired with my gaming PC. Otherwise, excellent mechanical keyboard.
• MX Keys Mini: 3 devices total over Bluetooth or Logi Bolt dongle. Very little input latency with the dongle but I stick to Bluetooth personally for the convenience. Much smaller than the Keychron K4 too and quicker to connect on BT so my go to for the Ally.

Mice:

• Logi M720 Triathlon - 3 devices total over Bluetooth or Logi Unifying receiver - Works perfectly regardless of using Bluetooth or the dongle. My go to for the Ally on Bluetooth for the convenience.
• Surface Arc Mouse - 1 device, Bluetooth. Overpriced and uncomfortable to use for long periods of time but it folds flat so I use it if I'm travelling with my Ally.
• Logi G502 SE - 1 device, Wired. Often regarded as one of the best wired gaming mice. I've used it with my gaming PC for about 4 - 5 years and have no complaints.

Controller:

• XBox Controller - Wired, Bluetooth or XBox USB adapter - pretty standard. The AUX port on the controller works if you're using the XBox USB adapter which is great.
• 8BitDo SN30 Pro - Wired, bluetooth. I believe the newer version has hall effect sticks. Triggers aren't analogue though - they are buttons.
• GameSir T4 Cyclone Pro - Wired, Bluetooth or Dongle. Hall effect sticks and triggers, lots of customizability, haptic triggers (only on Bluetooth mode though), gyro support - my go to for the Ally.

Displays

HDMI vs DisplayPort
Like any data cable, HDMI and DisplayPort carry data but in the form of audio/video data. DisplayPort can carry more of this information based on the most common version available, ie. DisplayPort 1.4 which supports up to 32.4Gbps. The most common version for HDMI is 2.0 which supports up to 18Gbps.
DisplayPort is preferred for gaming PCs generally since they are better at communicating capabilities such as FreeSync capabilities, HDR capabilities, etc. which is why most monitors use DisplayPort, especially modern ones.

• For TVs - Use HDMI
• For Monitors - Use DisplayPort if your monitor and dock both support it

DP Alt mode and USB C monitors
The Ally along with numerous phones and laptops support video out over USB C using what is known as DisplayPort Alt Mode (DP Alt Mode). This only works over USB C to USB C.
Some newer monitors support this and can be driven by just one USB C to USB C cable. They might also provide USB PD power.
Portable monitors also use DP Alt Mode to work over USB C. For HDMI, they use a standard HDMI to mini HDM and you need to plug in power when using HDMI. I haven't come across a dock that supports DP-Alt mode on its USB C ports making it impossible to drive a portable monitor over USB C with a dock (HDMI obviously will still work.)
Thunderbolt hubs may have USB C ports which allow DP Alt mode but in my experience they downgrade these ports to only USB 3 (without DP ALT mode) when connected to something that isn't Thunderbolt.
I only have experience with the Arzopa A1C (1920x1080, 60hz, 15.6 inch display) but here is my takeaway:

• Decent picture quality - think iPad level screen, better than what I was expecting frankly and same resolution as the Ally so I don't even change my settings.
• It was not mentioned anywhere in the manual/online but this does 50W PD passthrough. I plug in my charger to the monitor and use a USB C cable from the Ally and everything else I use is wireless. Pretty portable.
• Has an aux port if you want to plug in headphones/speakers to it directly.

Common misconceptions for anyone used to console gaming or new to PC gaming
(Note: The section below is only relevant to native resolution output without any frame gen or upscaling such as RSR, FSR, AFMF, etc.)
I've seen numerous posts asking "will this __inch monitor work?". Your physical screen size does not matter. The pixel count does. A 24inch 4K 60hz monitor will be just as hard for the Ally to run as a 60inch 4k 60hz TV.
For the Ally at its native 1920x1080 resolution at 120 frames per second, the GPU has to render 2,073,600 pixels, 120 times per second.
When you connect your Ally to a 4K 60Hz TV and try to output at your TVs native resolution of 3840x2160, the Ally has to process 8,294,400 pixels, 60 times per second.
Essentially, you will never get the same performance hooked up to a 4K TV at native resolution compared to running a game at the Ally's native 1080p resolution.
The same goes if you're looking at 3440x1440, 2560x1440 or any resolution when considering a monitor. In terms of "will it work with the Ally?" The answer is always "yes it will work" since the Ally is a PC, but adjust your game settings or your resolution accordingly.
Simply put, the higher the resolution (and frame rate), the more pixels the GPU needs to render, the bigger the performance hit.
I can put together a detailed AMD Adrenaline and general game settings guide if there's interest.

Things to keep in mind while buying a dock or hub:

• Form factor - If you want to use it with other devices consider getting a different form factor than the standard dock shape (the classic Steam Deck and ROG Ally dock where it sits with a non removable right angled USB C connector).
• Will my case work with it? Personal example - I put a JSAUX case on my Ally and it doesn't fit in my dock anymore. The case has a stand though so still fully functional but just doesn't look as "clean".
• Should ideally reserve power for the USB ports to avoid random issues.
• Be capable of 65W passthrough after reserving power to the dock.
• USB ports speed - ideally you should aim for a dock or hub featuring 10Gbps ports to use the max bandwidth of the Ally's port. Most docks and hubs max out at 5 Gbps however which is also adequate.
• Monitor support - consider if you would prefer one with DisplayPort or HDMI - few will have both. If you're mostly connecting to TVs, HDMI will be fine. If you have a monitor with FreeSync, ideally look for a dock with DisplayPort.
• Multi monitor - If you want to connect to multiple displays, you need one with multiple outputs since you will not be able to daisy chain docks. Keep an eye out to avoid DisplayLink however. It is NOT the same as DisplayPort - it drives video over USB 3 (USB 2 even) but involves compression and some other proprietary work happening on the dock - absolute non issue for productivity/office work but just not for gaming with its own overhead.
• Consider one that has a removable cable to host - being able to use your own cable length can be great but just make sure it meets specifications (E marker, video and USB 3.0 at least for it to be usable with a dock and the Ally)
• LAN port speed - most cap out at 1 gigabit but you might come across some with 2.5 gigabit ports.
• Consider if having an SD card slot or M.2 enclosure built into the dock/hub is something that you need.

My thoughts on the docks/hubs I own
All of them work pretty identically and offer 4K HDR, 30W Turbo, etc. when connected to a 100W PD charger. The ports are all USB 3.0 so max speed of 5Gbps. I’ve mentioned anything of note

• Aceele - https://www.amazon.ca/Docking-Compatible-Ethernet-1000Mbps-Charging/dp/B0CF57SZY5 - Has an On/Off button on the front for HDMI which can be handy. Works with the Nintendo Switch too surprisingly.
  
• Dockteck - https://www.dockteck.com/collections/usb-c-hub/products/usb-c-hub-ethernet-hdmi-6-in-1-usb-c-to-4k-60hz - Some strain on the USB port due to the form factor.
  
• Lionwei - https://lionweitech.com/products/usb-c-docking-station-dual-4k-hdmi-8-in-1 - Separate USB 2.0 port, dual HDMI and a removable cable. The cable out of the box stopped working after a month but the hub itself works great.
  

Other handy accessories

• Jsaux 90 degree USB C to C adapter - they come in a 2 pack and can be used at the same time to form a 180 degree adapter - https://jsaux.com/products/90-degree-right-angle-usb-c-male-to-usb-c-female-adapter
• Pluggable USB C extension cable with multimeter - reliably extend any USB C cable and check power draw - https://plugable.com/en-ca/products/usbc-meter3-1mf

Thanks for reading and hope it helps!

LAPTOP QUESTIONNAIRE

• Total budget (in local currency) and country of purchase. Please do not use USD unless purchasing in the US: up to 1,000 USD
• Are you open to refurbs/used? No
• How would you prioritize form factor (ultrabook, 2-in-1, etc.), build quality, performance, and battery life? Build quality (assuming it translates to durability), performance, battery life, form factor (I'd prefer a standard laptop, NOT an ultrabook/2-in-1/tablet-esque thing)
• How important is weight and thinness to you? Thinness- 1/10. Weight 6/10
• Do you have a preferred screen size? If indifferent, put N/A. N/A
• Are you doing any CAD/video editing/photo editing/gaming? List which programs/games you desire to run. Gaming, mostly on Steam.
• If you're gaming, do you have certain games you want to play? At what settings and FPS do you want? Stardew Valley, Sims, Against The Storm, Zoo Tycoon 2. I usually put the fps and general settings at the lowest or second-lowest quality option.
• Any specific requirements such as good keyboard, reliable build quality, touch-screen, finger-print reader, optical drive or good input devices (keyboard/touchpad)? At least 1 USB port, ideally more. Durability is a must!
• Leave any finishing thoughts here that you may feel are necessary and beneficial to the discussion. I'm pretty clumsy and I've got 2 cats who tend to knock things over and sit on keyboards. My computer needs to be able to handle minor falls and drops, small spills, crumbs, and being sat on by a cat. In terms of performance, if I weren't writing this post, I would probably be playing Stardew Valley on the lowest graphics quality setting while a picture-in-picture plays an episode of Monk via Netflix. As long as a computer can comfortably handle that, I'll be happy with the level of performance!

MAT246 (Concepts in Abstract Mathematics) is a proof-based course in number and set theory.
TLDR: The course is irrationally structured and poorly taught. Make extensive use of the textbook and chatGPT as they are better at explaining the material than the prof.
This is a very long review but I think it will prove useful to future students of this course.
Structure:
When I took the course, both sections followed the same syllabus, which was set out by Soheil. The structure of the course was terrible and bizarre. The course is out of 108% meaning it has 8% bonus marks, but according to the syllabus itself, more can be arbitrarily added without notice, at the prof’s whim. For example, after the low scores of the first test, a quiz was administered during the last twenty minutes of a tutorial (this quiz was never mentioned in the syllabus) and the quiz was counted as a bonus, with a 10% weight to the final test mark. Such a boon was not given after the second test. There is also an 800 word essay due at the end of the course worth 4%. It is does not have a rubric and can receive bonus marks for “thoughtful responses”. As the course progressed, weekly assignments had increasingly more bonus marks. In the problem sets, some questions were not worth any marks while others were bonus, and it was not known what questions counted for what prior to receiving the set back. In addition to bonuses, this course is known for curbing grades. These two features are mentioned in some reviews as positives: they in fact should be viewed as a tacit admission of the prof’s inability to create an objective, upfront grading scheme, where marks are not adjusted or added according to class performance, caprice or whatever else.
Some material was taught without ensuring the necessary background was covered or the material was outright irrelevant. Hilbert's hotel problem was brought up before discussing sets, the prof, after having this pointed out to him, replied that anyone lacking in knowledge of set notation or concepts of set infinite (which he would later teach any way and which had no relation to the concurrent material, zero had not yet be defined) should take their complains to their previous calculus prof. And in another strange turn, while he said Hilbert's hotel will be in tests or problem sets, it never was. Thus, it was mentioned, said that it would be tested on, but never covered nor tested. Soheil introduced puzzles, unrelated to the material, to train logical thinking. Can doing problems related to the course not do the same and improve your mark at the same time? His planning is utter disintegrated.
He also tends to be evasive to questions. A student asked if RSA protocol would be on the test four or so days before the test. He responded the night before, casually mentioning he forgot to include it in the study package. At one point, many students complained on piazza (first time I have witnessed such a thing) on the difficultly of the course and lack of aid. The prof's response was nil.
Lectures:
In two words: confusing and useless. Soheil constantly made analogies with math concepts to real world things which were unnecessary and convoluted (he once compared the expansion of the rationales with field extensions to the fact that, after 9/11 it was discovered that the area underneath was once on water, thus the land was “expanded”). Mostly, the lectures consisted of him reading from the textbook, adding some contorted explanation or analogy. He was often ungrammatical and it was difficult to understand what exactly he meant by what he said. Also, he was sometimes passive aggressive in his Piazza responses.
After each lecture there is a quiz. For me, this was terribly inopportune as I had to do it at 8pm while rushing to catch the train. Similarly, other students had to commute, possibly without wifi. I found the timing of these quizzes to be very inconsiderate toward the students.
Soheil stated that the content in the earlier chapters will not follow that of the textbook and that the style of proofs demanded in this course are to be formal whereas the ones in the book are informal. Given this, I at first, avoided using the book which was a grave mistake as it is like the Rosetta stone compared to the lectures which are like Sumerian cuneiform.
And I feel that Soheil gave misleading advice on how to study and learn. He rarely took up problems or proofs in the lectures (and few were done in tutorials), which, as I came to learn, is a major failure give that this course is introductory and a major part of math is repeated problem solving. He emphasized rote memorization of many theorems and lemmas, saying that tests mostly require "passive knowledge" when in fact only two or three theorems were relevant and needed citing.
Advice:
With exception to the first part of the course which does not at all follow the textbook, use the latter for the rest of the course. Invest in chat GPT-4 (or whatever is the current version). It explains the concepts incomparably better than the prof and can help in understanding proofs (by giving it a screenshot/picture of the textbook). I suggest looking over the workbook slides and doing the problems. They do not explain the material well and are often ungrammatical but they will contain any material in the course which is not in the textbook. Use the time during lectures and tutorials to read the textbook and work on problems. It is a much better use of time than carefully listening to the prof. Perhaps check in time to time to make sure you are on the right drift. In learning a chapter, I suggest this approach: first taking note of all relevant definitions (this is bedrock of any future knowledge), then read through the lemmas and minor theorems (this helps in learning what a good proof consist of and they may reveal some techniques or tricks), commit to memorize and take note of a major theorem (it is much easier to establish the context of the theorem when you know how its derived than just committing it to memory) and finally, do many problems. It is impossible to over emphasis this. Your motto in mathematics must be: repetitio est mater studiorum. That is, repetition of problem solving. Rote repetition or memorization, is worth little outside of knowing the definitions and major theorems.

I wish you luck in this course. Writing proofs is an excellent way to develop logical thinking skills. This course could really be excellent if only the prof was not this awful (the worst I’ve ever had in fact).

In his addons "iridescent wooden plank" "sacrificial knife" and "wooden plank" all talk about a journalist, seemingly weaseling herself into the group to documentate her findings about the cult like utopia.
How I know they're a female? It's in the descriptions (iridescent wooden plank "she came here to poison your minds with fear! Do not let the fear in!" -otto stamper) but something ticked in my head.
Who is this reporter? They go unnamed in the addons so I checked the druanees bio. NOTHING.
Which I found odd because important people in killers and survivors got names, but this one very important person in the druanees lore didn't get one? And then it clicked in my head.
The multiple realities theory.
It is believed and proved that most survivors, cosmetics and killers are from different realities. so I got to thinking, what if this desperate reporter was infact..a survivor, already in the game,therefore going unnamed.
So I searched, since it was a female I cut the selection of all the males, then I checked the female survivors bios.
Meg- this doesn't make sense, she (I believe) is a runner or was a runner in all her realities
Claudette- this doesn't make sense, she is a botanist or was a botanist in all her realities
Nea- this isn't possible due to her being a streetwise character, she wouldn't take a reporting job
Feng- a gamer and cosplayer, no other possible jobs
Kate- a country singer, and in one of her realities was in a popular band
Jane- this was possible but she probably wouldn't do something so risky, so she would stick to game shows
Yui- Street racer in all her realities
Élodie- her lore consists inside another survivors and is mainly based on a cult (Felix's lore) so this was also a possible pick, but she was more of a secret spy rather than a news reporter so this idea was scrapped
Yun-jin- I believe she was a musical producer in all her realities so no she wouldn't
Mikeala- she worked in moonstone as a story teller (?) So that was far off
Haddie- this was impossible or reincarnation was at play
Thalita- this was also unlikely, she has a brother and they never go anywhere without the other soo
Sable- default Sable I personally believe was from a completely different reality from the default mikeala due to their conflicting bios, this is shown due to Sable talking about mikeala ,her best friend ,going missing but mikealas doesn't speak a drop about Sable and how both of them also had no coalition with reporting in the first place , so this was also far from it.
So That only left one survivor.. ZARINA CASSIR!
On zarinas bio it talks about her having being near a reporter like job in the first place, as her job was being a documentarion here are some pieces of lore that shows her possibly being the reporter that was killed by otto;
-the news channel about injustice was always on which led her down to be a reporter
-went UNDERCOVER (modified her look, faked an accent and secured a job at a restaurant and posted the content she filmed online after being fired and was picked up by THE NEWS)
-she wan first prize on her film on sacco and vanzetti for an English exam (?) And that shot her off to do documentary (this reality it was mainly film making)
-she interviewed someone (a warden for hellshire penitentiary) about a previous prisoner at hellshire (this being caleb, the deathslinger who was irish)
-got picked up by the news AGAIN but this time on gang violence and only drew traction due to it gaining international acclaim
-looked deeper into the picture on the "mad mick massacre" story which could've been a different name for caleb in that reality
-blended in AGAIN to sneak into the restricted are of the prison and then vanished due to the entity after moving a brick with "death to bayshore" written on it and both connected by the wrench owned by caleb which they both touched before disappearing into the fog
All this aswell as her becoming a "plucky documentarion" all help my theory that in an alternate reality ZARINA CASSIR was infact the reporter in the druanees bio.
Some helpful exta information coinside within her perks quotes;
Off the record "Trust me, I investigate thoroughly and DISCREETLY" being discreet by blending I to the cult and then being murdered after being caught by otto stamper?
Red herring "The news edit out what is burdensome and complex; which is the TRUTH" as in what she was looking for in the cult where she blended in with the ottomarians, gathered Intel and tried to publish the truth to the world but failed to do so in the process!?
And finally, for the people "We can write our own story and decide how it really ends" kind of like how you were trying to write the truth about the ottomarians and trying to tell the ottomarians that otto was lying about the utopia and were also trying to say it was also a cult and then being killed by said otto!?
I rest my case, any questions comments are below 🙏

I know this case has been covered in a few other subreddits not long ago, but I don't think it's been covered here in a long time, so I thought I'd post it, as it has always intrigued me. Everyone always points out the most obvious suspect, but I was curious if anyone had any alternate theories to this strange unsolved case. This is my first write-up.
Reed Taylor Jeppson was one of 11 children in a large Mormon family in Salt Lake City, Utah, where he was born and spent his life until his disappearance at 15 years old. According to The Charley Project, he was 5'6 and 140 - 150 pounds at the time of his disappearance. He was a good student, and an Eagle Scout and paperboy. He was last seen in Salt Lake City on the afternoon of October 12, 1964, a Sunday, shortly after his family had returned home from church. He lived near Emigration Canyon, near 1400 South and 3000 East, and kept his dogs about 200 feet from his house. He told his sister he was going to feed his two dogs and take them for a walk, and would be back within half an hour, in time for lunch.
Reed had two German Shorthaired Pointers, whom he enjoyed training to hunt birds. A friend saw Reed walking the two dogs near the old St. Mary-of-the-Wasatch building, near Wasatch Boulevard, at around 1:00 p.m. This is the last known sighting of Reed. When Reed had been missing close to 12 hours, his family filed a missing person report with the Salt Lake City PD, and the search for the boy began.
An exhaustive search was performed in and around SLC, as well as the foothills, but neither Reed nor his dogs were ever located. An interesting detail I never knew the first time I read about this case was that Reed was carrying $60 with him, today's equivalent of $582, which he'd earned as a paperboy. However, there is only one source I can find that gives that information. There was also a lead suggesting Reed may have traveled to Missouri to visit a girl he'd met while working on a ranch one summer. However, this lead seems to have gone nowhere. At one point, one of Reed’s friends, who lived in their neighborhood, implicated Jon, Reed's older brother, in Reed’s disappearance. However, this lead also seems to have gone nowhere.
The Jeppson family strongly believed Reed was abducted, despite no evidence of foul play ever being found. The most viable suspect seems to be the "known pedophile" whose land connected to the Jeppson's backyard. He was a doctor who supposedly had a history of sexually abusing his teenage male patients. In the police report, the following conversation took place between the man and investigators:
Man: “I’ll tell you one thing, I would appreciate your finding out who killed him.”
Officer: “How do you know Reed was killed instead of running away? Most of the gossip said Reed was a runaway.”
Man: “Well, I know that [with] this length of time, they’re never gonna find out.”
According to the report, the man chuckled after saying this.
In 1966, the case was officially closed. Sadly, Reed’s father ended his own life on December 18th, 1965, barely more than a year after his son disappeared. Reed's mother and many of his siblings passed away in the years that followed. However, it should be noted that Reed's case was reopened in 2010. In 2012, the police received a tip from a couple who found animal bones on their property, which had previously belonged to the doctor. The bones were dismembered and wrapped in plastic bags. The couple could only provide pictures of the bones since they'd already discarded them. A surviving sister of Reed's says she believes they are the bones of the missing dogs.
"Somebody out there in the community knows something about this case,” Detective Cody Loughy of Salt Lake City PD has said.
https://charleyproject.org/case/reed-taylor-jeppson
https://thecrimewire.com/true-crime/The-Strange-Disappearance-of-Reed-Jeppson-Vanished-While-Walking-His-Dogs

But that Doesn’t mean I don’t miss you.
I miss you every day. In ways that I still have to let go of.
The random texts throughout the day when we still used to do that. The waiting for you to come home to give you a hug, one that you never seemed happy to receive in retrospect. The way you would eventually give in to my requests to cuddle or watch something when you had finished up your daily routine or exhausted yourself enough to need a break. The way your lips would pucker out as you exhaled after taking deeps breaths while you were starting to fall asleep. The way your hair smelt, the way the house smelt.
I miss Dex oh so much. I cry everyday over my lil fur baby boy. I know John gave him to you and he’s technically your cat but I raised that little bugger. when you were going back to the office and I was home alone writing my mixtape and doing breath work. He supported me and would lay next to me as I worked on rhymes and learned to calm my trigeminal. He would watch me spin in my ‘tism circles as I listened to the beat and came up with the words. I guess I just miss him extra now that I’m writing again. He’s not here to give me emotional support and I’m not there for you to come home to even if you did ignore me most of the time.
I would have given you all of my money if you had just paid more attention to me. Let’s be honest you don’t need my money never did but I don’t mind paying my fair share for things. I just couldn’t keep shelling out my hard earned money for an empty home. You were never there even when you were. Never present with me; always planning always going always saying how if I wasn’t broke I could do things with you. The truth is Lon, Eventually I just kept telling you I was broke because I was saving to leave. My needs, my wants, my concerns, my love languages were never important to you. Lord knows I tried to voice it, tried to make you see that emotionally connecting would only deepen and strengthen our relationship. But you can only meet me as far as you’ve met yourself.
Somewhere in between you invalidating my childhood trauma by telling me “you need to just go get help” and you cheating on me with the exact two people I asked you not to cheat on me with (since you decided my asking for a closure to our open relationship wasn’t really a valid request, even though I gave you years to explore) I had come to realize I had no value to you. Not at all. The only thing I was to you was a supplemental income, even if a tiny one. But if you couldn’t get that from me I wasn’t worth anything to you at all.
So in the end you made your decision for yourself. You are the reason I stopped paying for things, I stopped hanging out with you, your friends, and mine outside of the house (since you turned them all against me anyway with your painted pictures of “using you” and my “emotional instability”). News flash; true abuse and extortion can only come from a place of power downward. Did I say things that hurt your ego and brought to attention your emotional unavailability, yes, but that’s not abuse. How you made over 100,000 a year and still required my money when I was making less than 15,000 freelancing at the time is not only abuse but beyond me in conscious. Add on top of that you making fun of my dreams and telling me I’ll “never be a writer” or a lyricist and how “stupid” I am. If you really wanted me gone I wish you had just said so instead of playing mind games until I felt more and more unwelcome.
You want to look at me and say I am to blame and that we just grew apart. No Lon you tore us apart and now I have to stay away. When you chose to tear us apart you ripped certain seems in my core, in my character, in my being. Threads I had woven and sewn from our connection. I once thought I was safe with you, that I was uplifted by you, but as I tried to step into a more unmasked version of myself it became more and more of a hostile avoidant environment. It’s taken me almost three months of constant therapy to bring me back to who I am as a person and away from that scared subservient little boy you created to serve you.
It’s okay though it’s all you were demonstrated from your parents; just as all I was demonstrated was how to give all of yourself for someone who sees you as less. Therapy has opened my eyes to so much I know you know that as I tried my hardest to heal our connection. I hope as you continue therapy, if you’re even still going, that you start to do the real work of looking at yourself instead of just using our differences to justify our demise as a couple and team.
It hurts so much to write this and to know that even if I did send it to you I wouldn’t get a response beyond your defense mechanisms. In the end you’re just like my “best friend” of 16 years; if it ain’t your way you kick em off on the highway at full speed.
All in all I hate what you became to me, what you are to those who can’t benefit you in some way, but for some reason I still love you and I’ll always miss you. Not as much as Dexy boy :p But I’ll always love you enough to hope that you start to look in the mirror. And that when you do it’s long enough for you to actually see yourself and in turn that you might truly see the people around you and why they are really there.
With the last of my love, Z

Conspiracy theories involving “elite” pedophile rings have recently been dominating social media in a disorienting frenzy. They have been around for some time but in this century rose back to popularity during the 2016 Election cycle. This crop, at least, took root with what became known as “Pizzagate.”
Promoters of that conspiracy theory in 2016 used social media platforms to make unfounded but viral allegations that Hillary Clinton and other prominent Democrats were running a pedophile ring out of the basement of a pizzeria even though that restaurant had no basement, or any ties to known politicians other than the typical flesh pressing (Phrasing I know) moments fit for a picture hung on the wall.
Since then, the dark theme of Pizzagate has found new life with permutations forming part of the #Qanon conspiracy theory, incorporated under the umbrella term “pedogate.” The gist of the #pedogate conspiracy theory is that global elites (politicians, celebrities, and wealthy businesspersons) are covertly involved in a far-reaching ring that uses young children for sexual purposes.
“What most of these conspiracy theories involve in one way or another is laying accusations of pedophilia or involvement in pedophile rings at the feet of people that they despise or hate, and during the 16’ election cycle, Democrats were a wide target for an opposing political movement that had hijacked the rival Republican party. Pizzagate originated with the “alt right” and “alt lite,” far right extremists who range from outright white supremacists to those who publicly shun racists but otherwise fall in step with their belief systems.
Pizzagate jumped from the fringes to the mainstream because as it denigrated Hillary Clinton, it sucked in supporters of then-candidate Donald Trump.
After the election all mention of pedogate seemed to be put on a simmer while other National outrages boiled over (#Covid #RussiaGate #BLM) and just like clockwork (heading into our next election cycle has been turned back up.
The pedogate conspiracy and all associated stories employ a centuries-old tactic: playing on deep-seated human anxieties by conjuring images of imperiled children, the purest and defenseless victim of any manner of injustice.
An example in the modern era of weaponized conspiracy was the satanic panic of the 1980s, in which a wave of hysteria over alleged child molestation at daycare centers swept the nation. But while that phenomenon was a moral panic attributable, at least in part, to social anxiety over white middle class women entering the work force en masse for the first time and entrusting their children to others, the current conspiracy theories about pedophile rings equate to similar propaganda. They carry a danger for stirring up violence.
If you want to elicit violent action the way to do it is through hate and fear. Once you target and label a population as pedophiles, you can do anything you like to that population with full excuse being given to the myth you’ve wrapped around it.
That’s not to say fears of child abuse or sex trafficking are unfounded. There are many as pedophilia has ancient roots and in many cases was encourage by many world cultures and religions a lot later into Civilization than we’d like to admit. The International Labor Organization reports that 25 percent of the world’s 40.3 million victims of human trafficking are children.
The most vulnerable, according to the National Human Trafficking Hotline, are migrants, runaways, the homeless, and youngsters who have been victims of violence. Despite their obsession over the topic, conspiracy followers aren’t worked up about those children who are in true harm’s way.
In the world of propaganda, it’s never about real children. Instead, it’s about what children represent. The children imperiled by conspiracy theories, in other words, are only metaphors.
Children carry a vast amount of weight in any society, but especially modern ones when they’re expected to survive past the age of five. It wasn’t as intense before the 18th century when child mortality rates were really high. They represent the future, and all that is beautiful and decent and honest in a society, because they are innocent.
For most people also, the meaning of their existence is rooted in their children. Children are eschatological, they represent death for us, and what is coming behind us after we are gone. They also represent the threat of loss, if they disappear, if they die, that is the death of society. That’s why they became so crucial and central to Cold War propaganda. The real terror of the nuclear holocaust would be the death of the children, because that’s the death of everyone.
A recent example of this is in a recent police investigation into conspiracy claims of PizzaGate style accusation of Portland’s Voodoo Doughnuts. Detectives attempted to contact the person accusing Voodoo Doughnuts on social media of running a pedophile ring. The accuser did not cooperate with investigators and it’s been documented in other coverage online that they had become agitated and accused the Police with complicity when tracked down in person, even though they were attempting to investigate.
The pendulum of conspiracy theories about systematic child abuse has swung back and forth for centuries. Examples such as blood libel, when Jewish communities were attacked over false allegations of murdering and consuming Christian children in the Middle Ages.
In Europe, During the Thirty Years War, entire villages were put to the sword because it was believed they were abusing children of the other religions.
One characteristic that helps Pizzagate-style conspiracy theories gain popularity is that they function like a puzzle game and give its audience a large level of involvement through social media.
A lot of conspiracy theories are oracular, where the information comes from one source an oracle. Then there are others where there are a few people who promote the notions, almost like gurus or a conspiracy priesthood.
With Pizzagate, it’s more of what one would call a participatory conspiracy theory. Participatory conspiracy theories lay out a scenario or situation and then they ask their audience, ‘what more can you find out about this, what more can you add?’ It turns the audience into willing participants, some knowing they are creating a destructive madlib and other (potential real victims) caking on mystical distraction to issues that have been unreported or scars that have not bee properly treated.
The thing about participatory conspiracy theories is it can really create a devoted following because it gives people something to do, it makes them feel they can solve the whole thing or uncover new aspects to it. Once you get that energy going it’s almost self-sustaining. Followers of the Qanon conspiracy theory, call themselves “bakers” because their protagonist “Q” pops up on Internet message boards and leaves “crumbs” (i.e., clues), and they are tasked with picking up the crumbs in order to solve the puzzle. (“Q” is supposed to reference the character’s government security clearance level).
*#Q followers believe an even more incoherent version of Pizzagate. This is largely a right-wing fantasy that originated in a series of incoherent posts on #4chan in 2017 by someone calling themselves #QAnon. Following on the heels of similar idiocy such as Pizzagate, it advances a fantastic web of deceit that wraps up Trumpism, deep state fearmongering, evil, satanic pedophilia rings controlled by the Democratic Party, investigations into Russian meddling in the 2016 US election, the Las Vegas shooting, and New World Order paranoia into a package easily and wholeheartedly promoted by internet cesspools and far-right personalities such as Alex Jones.
The premise is that President Trump is secretly working to take down a global ring of elite, cannibalistic, satanic pedophiles. And the investigation into Russian meddling into the 2016 election, led by former FBI director Robert Mueller, is actually an investigation into the so-called “deep state”, where a cabal of evil, globalists, including Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, are responsible for everything from a global pedophile ring to the mass shooting in Las Vegas in 2017.
According to the enlightened, when Trump awkwardly took a drink from a bottle of Fiji water at a press conference in November 2017, it wasn’t because he was thirsty; it was actually a secret signal to those in the know that the annihilation of deep state pedophiles had begun (or was about to begin). Because as everyone knows, Fiji is a hot spot for child trafficking.* ( I could go on and on with this poorly thought-out shit, I will spare you )
The role the Internet and social media play in helping to spread such insanity can’t be underestimated. Just a few decades earlier, conspiracy theorists would identify each other using letters to the editor printed in newspapers and magazines. It was a lot harder to identify your fellow conspiracy theorists. You would have to physically meet to swap your stories or send letters or call. They would set up these groups that would communicate by newsletter. They would meet in a physical space, like someone’s living room.
I personally witnessed people from my childhood, dutifully photocopying newsletters they had received in the mail to give to others (Primarily at my #JW congregation, how ironic). Now obviously it can go much more quickly, because you can identity people immediately. You can quickly share ideas and the data you’ve collected.
The Internet allows such people to exist in bubbles where they rarely have their beliefs challenged. The extraordinarily polarized society we’re in right now has made people less willing to seek out other view points. Because of the internet you have less chance of doing this.
There’s very little incentive to look outside one’s own bubble once they have become invested in a conspiracy theory. Once you start to act out on those behaviors you are forced to double down by repeating the act to prove it was a just act. Eventually you get caught up in a movement that totally defines your conscious and you can’t get out of it. The second you step out of that world view your actions go back to being reprehensible.
Now the question becomes, “What’s the harm? If it sheds light on child abuse, then isn’t it still productive?” The answer in this case is a resounding NO. In my opinion and PAINFUL experience, the root cause and sustaining factors of institutionalized child sex abuse are all things that would counter your typical Conspiracy Nut’s world view, thus causing a complete blackout to the problems.
The entity taking part in the harming of children on a local and tangible level aren’t some suit and tie wearing global elitist. It’s a guidance counselor, youth pastor, unvetted young substitute teacher, aunt/uncle/cousin/neighbor.
It’s anyone who has been given routine private access to a child’s mind and body because of the social conventions that have been protected for generations by our relatives whether they themselves are guilty of abuse or not.
In all the Qanon madness I also kept very close tabs on the pending prosecution of the Boy scouts of America and never saw any widely shared memes about their involvement in the abuse syndicate.
Why is this? How is this so? Aren’t these people watching the news, seeing the court records and hearing the individual cases being brought against Scout Leaders (SOME OF WHO RAN THEIR OWN NETWORKS!!)?
When I would find mention of accusation it was met with the ever scarce “skepticism” because if the media is covering it, it must be a plot to destroy the organization. There are now non-for profit organizations setting up victim funds and protections for people to come out with their stories and somehow THIS is the fake ruse.
Some that know me know that I was a Jehovah’s Witness as a youth/teen/young adult. That chapter of my life could fill many chapters and the research on the organization, the real true black and white history of the religion would honestly surprise you. I saw what I now know was abuse, I personally experienced abuse in many forms. The perpetrators involved are either still Witnesses or are dead or have moved “away from the organization”.
One thing that was left intact in each situation was the secret that they prey on children. The parents, these organizations and the collective promise to keep up appearances are directly to blame for the suffering untold thousands, millions of children and broken adults.
All for what? Pride and Vanity and a commitment to all involved to protect them from the “mean old world” despite allowing predators to eat their children from within.
Being a #JW was a very interesting experience. It provides a very efficient form of insulation from outside society and allows people involved to view the chaos from afar. There is this persistent (albeit false) sense of shared peace that members have. It’s as though for three days a week you go to this meeting where no matter what, everyone has a smile and feels about things EXACTLY how you do. There is no cursing, there are no politics, there surely isn’t any destructive influences that would tarnish your chances of salvation. For a parent this is a refuge when raising a child in a world that is dangerously unpredictable.
A Child that you are unable (or unwilling) to teach coping skills to get along by societal standards, A child you want to protect by hiding. This is problem #1.
As an adult the congregation presents an avenue for which you can act and behave in a way that allows you to reconcile your past, a way to have less of those nights awake because you think about past wrongs you’ve committed against people. It’s the proverbial band-aid for a guilty, bruised, destroyed conscious of any size. Coming into the organization takes nothing more than the desire to change, publicly declaring your willingness to hand over your life to God (The organization). Bam, You’re in! No credit check, no background check. This is problem #2.
A JW is taught that “every facet is an asset” (Ministerial Servants know what I’m talking about). What this means is that every facet of your life is an asset to the organization to spread its word. If the world see’s their product’s application into your life and thereby how much better it is than a normal person’s, then they’ve made an “Effective Witness” to the world. This causes Witnesses of any age to allow almost every facet of their life to be a tool by the organization. For a parent this includes their children. This is problem #3.
When you get a culture that insulates itself from the real world, that allows you to enter without any coherent vetting, give access to children whose parents feel obligated to present as a “witness” to the lifestyle. You get a twisted corridor in which victims can get lost for a lifetime and predators can hide in plain sight.
For any proponents of the “Save-The-Children” movement to not take a step back and really analyze their local community and lifestyle through these lenses only illustrates that child abuse is being weaponized politically at the expense of others whom you aren’t willing to save because it would look bad for ‘your side’. If you truly care, you wouldn’t be sharing email forwards about what evil unverified unmentionable thing you read some celebrity or politician did. Instead, you’d be drawing back on your experiences as a child.
Even if nothing happened directly to you, I’m sure you know some one that had an experience that forever harmed their life. Who did it? Was there a pattern or social condition that allowed for this as was laid out in the JW example?
How could it have been avoided? Would you have stopped it if you saw the signs? Are you willing to stop it in the future, knowing what you know now?
If you can answer any of those questions with a yes, then you have all you need to WRITE your own material to reach real victims and their families. Does your action cause problems for your ‘side’? It shouldn’t matter and you know that. If it does make a difference to you then you are no better than the shadowy pedophilic cabal that you are so obsessed with.

I am 18 yo recently diagnosed with the bicuspid aortic valve (BAV) and cardiologist told me to stop lifting weights, but the concept of powerlifting is mostly at rpe 5-7 (which means that I leave a few repetitions until failure, which means minimal or no strain at all), I don't know if I should continue doing this sport because mostly my whole life currently revolves around that... I am a multiple state champion and record holder. I'm mainly writing this because most cardiologists think that powerlifting is a sport where you strain yourself a lot during training, but it's not really true. However, strain is the most during competitions, because that's where I give my all (RPE10-total failure), but of course if i will continue competing in the future, I would compete at a lower intensity (Rpe7 (85-90) percent of 1RM. I also know that holding the breath is a problem due to the increase in blood pressure, which I also eliminated and I can train like that without any problems... So I'm interested in your opinion on why I couldn't continue this sport at a low intensity and without holding my breath because cardiologists have a completely different picture of this sport.