(Long post) So here's the story. About 3 weeks ago my car (5th gen LGT) started making some popping noises in the front suspension while driving. I looked underneath to find a loose control arm bushing and some rot on the subframe, and do to me having limited tools/space and time to work on it I had it towed to a trusted shop. After about a day or 2 the shop calls me back and tells me my subframe and balljoints are shot and need replaced. They also recommended replacing all the front suspension do to rust and wear. (150k miles on a car originally from MN). I said ok no problem go ahead and replace the subframe and do the repairs. They then informed me that they were having a hard time sourcing the subframe but they could get a used one for $700 or A new aftermarket one for $1200. I then told them I had found one through my own research at a Subaru dealership about 2 hours away for $611. They said if I could get it that cheap and drop it off they would put it in and order the rest of the suspension parts for me. So I call the dealership to make sure it is in stock and available. They confirm the part is in stock and in good condition ready for pick up. I then drive 2 hours away spend $611 for the subframe and deliver it to the shop. (Here's the fun part).
Fast forward 3 days and I stop by the shoo to check out the progress on the car and they informed me they had even together suspension wise about to bolt it up the the car and they can't get the motor mounts to line up. After looking more into it it was determined that the mount plates on the subframe were welding incorrectly and the part was defective. I promptly called Subaru and informed them of the issue and was told it was a known issue and they are aware of it as well as saying every subframe in the warehouse with that manufacturer number was defective and they weren't sure when a new one would be available. 12 hours later they call me back stating they found one that was not defective and recently manufactured (2 weeks old) and I could swap them out. However due to the shop mounting the defective one and finding out the motor mounts won't line up it has to be removed.
So here I am paying double labor to remove a defective part that was sold to me whether it was by mistake or someone was trying to dump the part on a unsuspecting customer. I am currently fighting with Subaru Of America the pay for the removal and replacement of the defective frame and they are refusing to do so becausy car was not towed to and worked on by the dealership that i bought the parts from. All they will do is give me the replacement for free, which is a nice gesture but not enough IMO.
The total cost of replacement including parts labor and swapping out the defective one is $3,210. I'm asking subaru the pay the difference of $1,195 for the swapping of the subframe.
Am I wrong for this? Am I screwed? What can I do? Is this truly how this works and I just learned a valuable lesson?
Please help. I am not in a position to buy a new car and I love my Legacy.
Ps: The shop suggested that subaru pay for it and has helped me every step of the way. They even knocked off some labor cost. They were amazed subaru was fighting me over this.
Edit: The reason I chose this shop was because it was close to my house and after calling around the dealerships and shops they were the only one that could look at and fix it. Everyone else was either to busy or flat out refused to fix it.

Holy shit, these new laws are insane. Each rent demand must have two serve attempts before you may post them to their door. I am an ACM at a large property and this process it exhausting, especially in this heat! On average we serve 70 demands a month. This means I am going door to door a total of 210 times in 90 degree heat. I am in the blaring sun for hours and the residents who do answer are usually upset or older and wont stop yapping about anything from work orders to resident gossip and everything in between making the process even longer.
Not only that, but lots of male residents at this community make me very uncomfortable.. I do not feel safe! This role is already dangerous enough, but this is killing me. I don't even understand how I am supposed to serve these demands correctly if I don't have an actual copy of the demand I served them in person because I have to fill them out IN FRONT OF THE RESIDENT and am unable to copy them without my scanner (obviously).. and it is SO AWKWARD. I understand tenants deserve rights but at large communities these new requirements are ridiculous to try and navigate.
They're gunna need to start paying us a living wage.

A bit overwhelmed looking into possible surgeons, many options, lots to weigh. I've been thinking probably Turkey since it seems like best bang for buck. I'm in BC so Vancouver might be a good option though I know it will cost big time. I'm not sure that it's worth the extra expense, as I hear they do great work in Turkey.
I have probably a NW 2.5 or so, 37 now- it's been thinning since I was about 17, very very slowly. I started taking fin a couple years ago and that seems to have stabilized things alright. I still have hair and am not thinning at a fast clip or anything, but I figure it's time to sort this out, now that enough time has passed to see that my type of balding isn't super aggressive and I can probably make a HT work for me.
I've got blonde hair, it's always been naturally thin to begin with. The thinning I've had probably wouldn't have made much noticeable impact if I'd started with a thicker head to begin with. My brother has similar recession but his hair is much thicker so it doesn't really show.
So anyhow, any leads you can offer to get me started on my journey here would be greatly appreciated. I know this forum is full of people posting about their experiences with different doctors, but that in itself is kind of the problem for me right now- there's so much information here I don't know where to begin lol.

So this is really in response to a petition for Brazil servers and the long running request for these servers and is mainly informative in terms of reasons why this is an unrealistic request.
The general argument is "why can't you even give the players 1 or 2 servers for better a better connection", or specifically from the recent post here "why not rent out a server in Brazil" to host?
It's Jagex's highest priority to secure the live Runescape game code. Running this on rented hardware on another country would give you a game server in that country; but also put them at the mercy of the reseller who own the hardware.

1. They don't want to work with some random guy who's reselling out of their basement. Things can go wrong, they can be held to ransom, they can have their code stolen and resold/released and boom, your biggest IP is out there.
2. They are at the mercy of the resellers own security measures
3. They are a large corporate company and they do things themselves, no half-measures

The tldr for this point is that there would be dismissals for gross misconduct if someone green-lit something like this.
Now, doing it the correct normal and professional way, Jagex would need to purchase datacentre space in Brazil, along with transport their hardware and also have someone employed in Brazil to maintain this.
In Brazil datacentres i've seen/worked with employ armed guards 24/7 for security.
The players say they would be happy with 1 or 2 servers, is it in the business interests of Jagex to rent out tier 3 datacentre space, employ a person to work there, and purchase hardware to reduce the latency for players of one particular country, for a few servers only, who are already paying their membership? I would argue the answer would be "no". There's nothing from a business incentive to do this, and if Jagex had the statistic of the Brazilian playerbase being massive, they most certainly would have considered it by now but I feel like it's being overestimated. Locations are chosen based on best coverage to the largest portions of the playerbase and cost overheads.
tldr; I used the wording "likely won't happen" as I don't have a crystal ball. My reason is based on cost vs. return and I don't believe there's a good enough business argument for adding servers and many people misunderstand how the real world works when they propose "renting" out a server in a country and think there's a shortcut that they see but Jagex don't.

I would like to find some jewerly for my problem child (3rd lobe/low helix) that's good quality titanium/surgical steel and would not cost me an arm and a leg ( and that can be delivered to France without having to pay 2x the price of the piercing) The reason for that being that it was poorly pierced 4 years ago when I did not know better and now it's just getting irritated or causing all sorts of issues it can think off Right now i have a bar that's too long in because the other ones i have are a bit too short and caused a weird sort of irritation/infection I am also not too worried about the look of the piercing as i really like a simple starting jewerly ball though it has to be silver coloured as i won't wear anything else As the bot asks me I'm wearing a labret in, either titanium or stain less steel as i like to change sometimes and either externally or internally threaded (the jewerly never caused any issues unless i put rings in) and it healed with random poor quality earings for the most of it.
I use baby eyedrops saline solution as I'm unable to find the spray ones
So long rambling post about my problem child and asking for any recommandations

Hey everyone! My name is Jordan and I’m posting on behalf of the Patient Access Network (PAN) Foundation. PAN is a nonprofit organization offering financial assistance to help people with serious, chronic, or rare diseases afford their out-of-pocket medication costs.
We provide financial assistance to over 20 types of cancer, including Waldenstrom Macroglobulinemia. Our WM fund offers $3,250 per year for eligible patients to use to cover the copay for your covered medications. Grant eligibility and a full list of medications covered can be found on our website: https://www.panfoundation.org/disease-funds/waldenstrom-macroglobulinemia/
You can apply for our grants by phone -- call us at 1-866-316-7263 Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. ET. Once you’re approved, grants can be managed through our online portal.
I’m happy to answer any questions anyone has about how our grants work! I hope this information is helpful to you all!

Hey everyone! My name is Jordan and I’m posting on behalf of the Patient Access Network (PAN) Foundation. PAN is a nonprofit organization offering financial assistance to help people with serious, chronic, or rare diseases afford their out-of-pocket medication costs.
We provide financial assistance to over 20 types of cancer, including CLL. Our CLL fund offers $3,250 per year for eligible patients to use to cover the copay for your covered medications. Grant eligibility and a full list of medications covered can be found on our website: https://www.panfoundation.org/disease-funds/chronic-lymphocytic-leukemia/
You can apply for our grants by phone -- call us at 1-866-316-7263 Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. ET. Once you’re approved, grants can be managed through our online portal.
I’m happy to answer any questions anyone has about how our grants work! I hope this information is helpful to you all!

Hey everyone! My name is Jordan and I’m posting on behalf of the Patient Access Network (PAN) Foundation. PAN is a nonprofit organization offering financial assistance to help people with serious, chronic, or rare diseases afford their out-of-pocket medication costs.
We provide financial assistance to over 20 types of cancer, including CLL. Our CLL fund offers $3,250 per year for eligible patients to use to cover the copay for your covered medications. Grant eligibility and a full list of medications covered can be found on our website: https://www.panfoundation.org/disease-funds/chronic-lymphocytic-leukemia/
You can apply for our grants by phone -- call us at 1-866-316-7263 Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. ET. Once you’re approved, grants can be managed through our online portal.
I’m happy to answer any questions anyone has about how our grants work! I hope this information is helpful to you all!

The latest Friday review and marketing insights are out on newsletter, one of the sections is below. Let me know what you think:

What did Internet say?

1. People, including some advertisers aren’t happy about unskippable ads on Instagram.
   1. In January, TikTok’s report came out sharing unskippable ads may harm engagement.
2. A new study from Pinterest is making marketers thirsty to join the platform. Why? It shares the platform generates 170% more total attention than other platforms.
   1. I love Pinterest but the platform gaslights you a lot. First, they need to highlight engaged audience on profile instead of total audience. The Total metric is similar to X’s post views. Having more total audience aka views means nothing if people aren’t engaging.
   2. About the study, Pinterest talking about a passive and active attention is important. Most marketers are only after attention as we discussed in a previous post, understanding attention theory is a must.
   3. Yes, People enjoy content on Pinterest as they claim in the study. But people aren’t happy about your ads, the study shows biased in that part.
      1. Most brands aren’t Pinterest-first, A lot of repurposing going. Making people hate the ad experience, Pinterest needs brands that follow more rules of creativity than performance.
3. Departure of Virginie Viard from Chanel is kind of being celebrated by fashion lovers.
4. GQ’s Article ‘Merch is dead’ is getting roasted by Internet’s best newsletters, short answer: Merch is very much alive. My Reads:
   1. Why is wearing merch so embarrassing? by emily north.
   2. Everything is Merch from Ana Andjelic and Eugene Rabkin.
5. Protests against AI training: Adobe and Meta are getting called out for their new terms of use.
   1. First a little rant: INSTAGRAM SUCKS FOR RESEARCH.
      1. There is a viral ‘add yours’ template where creators are sharing their anger against AI. I saw it once in a random story, I can’t find that story or template because there is no feature to do so.
      2. Hashtags no longer show the layout to see recent posts or stories.
   2. #metai #creatorsagainstai and few other hashtags highlight how artists are leaving Meta over AI terms.
      1. Part of the problem is opting out of AI training is not easy. EU’s Noyb has already filed complaint against AI, let’s see what happens in US.
6. Brand Collaborations getting love: Dunkin x Scrub Daddy and Vacation Sunscreen x Erewhon Smoothie.
7. Meta Advertisers: Music on Image Ads is a no + Meta’s test to have multiple objectives under 1 campaign is kind of useless and cash grab.
8. Against the Trend: Dr. Harini Bhat’s 20 minute-long video summary of Flight MH370 felt like a 5-minute video. A masterclass in engaging video storytelling.
9. 🍲 Chipotle: I feel bad for Chipotle’s marketing team, they created the perfect social media post. Only to have their CEO’s interview mess things up, people are now trolling his interview.
10. Recommendations: Christina Garnett’s podcast with copywriting legend, Vikki Ross + A mega post sharing e-commerce funnel creation and examples.
11. Updated Insight: The TikTok guide shared duets and stitches can help your content reach more relevant audiences, as the link juice travels from one video to other.
    1. This recent post from Joanna Williams hinted at another use-case, using amount of organic stitches and duets with creator’s video as a metric for Influencer selection.
12. The Worst: Spotify’s CEO tweets about cost of content being zero. The Online Community didn’t like that, probably because content isn’t free.
    1. Because of CEOs like him, the word ‘content’ is becoming meaningless.

Read the complete post here, and do upvote if you liked what was shared, see you on Sunday with marketing news version. 🧃

Too many people here are ultra-fixated on cutting out internet from your lives 99% or even 100%. Sorry folks, that can't be done unless you are incarcerated, dead or are wealthy+have other people do things like pay bills, book flights, etc.
For everyone else who is an adult here in the US, all you're gonna do is make many if not MOST things you deal with more more difficult by going a completely no-surf route. Are you gonna drive to the utility company during business hours once a month to pay that elec. bill in-person? Because they may not offer pay by phone and may require payment in-person by check. Or are you gonna go back to 1990 and start paying by checks, and mailing all your bill payments weeks in advance (or paying costly priority/overnight delivery) to avoid being late? Are you gonna cal your bank to check your balance on a near-daily basis and balance your checkbook/bank account by hand vs. using the bank website? etc etc etc
At a certain point you all need to be realistic. You aren't making your lives easier by going 99%-100% no-surf....all you're doing is adding lots of annoyances, complexity and time-consuming things to your daily routines as an adult.
Should you decrease your Instagram addiction from 8 hours a day to 1 hour? SURE! GREAT IDEA! But can you HONESTLY swear off ALL Meta-related websites and content forever? You say you can, but when a local restaurant only posts its menu on Facebook store profile page or your local utility company only posts-real-time status updates on their FB page............are you honestly 100% of the time from now until the day you die outright avoid/not check these sources?
Let's be real and honest with ourselves.
There's no way to go back to pre-internet times unless you are offloading all that responsibility to someone else (hence rich/jailed person comparison) or dead.
Focus on changes that reduce wasting time and avoid adding complexity to life (like dating apps for example - JUST talk to a person you see walking by or in a store vs. swiping thousands of times on an app).

For starters, this post will probably be talking about Sunlit Man quite a bit, so be forwarned there will probably be spoilers in some form. Also, this turned into quite the essay, so prepare yourself.
That aside, I want to build a new Warlock subclass for my next DnD campaign, a warlock that works like Nomad sounds incredibly fun. Warlocks already have shardblades in the form of their pact weapon, and they have a similar magic system where they have a ton of power but it goes in quick bursts, so if seems fitting.
What I have so far:
•1 BEU will equal 1 level 1 spell slot, and can be used as such. Level 2 spells require 2 BEUs, level 3 requires 3, and so on. Upcasting spells works the same as regular casters, casting a level 2 spell as level 4 would require 4 BEUs(a level 4 spell slot). They would be able to choose the level they cast their spells at, rather than having to always cast at the highest level like standard warlocks but they are still limited by their casting level, no upscaling to a level 5 spell when they only have level 2 spells.
•they won't regain any BEUs from resting, short or long. They will only be able to regain BEUs by drawing on investiture in the world. They will not be limited in how many BEUs they can have, only by how many they can collect.
•At certain thresholds, they will gain additional abilities to corelate with Heightenings. Currents plan is at 5 BEUs they regain 1 hp per turn due to passive healing, with the healing increasing by 1 per heightening. At the second heightening (15 BEUs) they will be able to manipulate connection and communicate with others regardless of shared language(only 1 language at a time, can only be used once per day), at higher levels this may include buffs to persuasion and loosen the limitations on how effective it is and often it can be used. At the third heightening,(25 beus) they will gain a +1 to perception and wisdom checks, with an additional +1 on each subsequent heightening. At the 4th heightening(50 BEUs) they will gain +1 to strength, dexterity, and constitution with an additional +1 for each subsequent heightening. At the 5th heightening (75BEUs) they gain improved Investiture Efficiency, reducing the cost of all spells by 1(would free first level spells be too strong? Or could that potentially work?) and increasing investiture gain by 50% when drawing from a non-living power source(living things just have their 1 BEU, unless they are also invested in some form) and getting a bonus on rolls to steal investiture from slain enemies. While I'm not sure what effects to include, I feel like 100 for the 6th, 125 for the 7th, 150 for the 8th, 175 for the 9th, and a full 200 BEUs for the 10th heightening would be appropriate.
So what I really help with need is:
1) a way to recharge investiture, aka warlock spell slots, I want to sacrifice the short rest recharge and instead gain power from drawing on things around them (kind of like how you need to feed Gale enchanted shoes and such in Baldur's Gate 3, but maybe not just restricted to magic items since they tend to be rare in DnD) I need something that will allow them to keep a moderate baseline, and eventually grow in power through the course of the campaign that isn't brokenly weak/overpowered. Buying BEUs from merchants in towns could be 1 way, as well as convincing people to transfer theirs to the warlock and drawing the power from magical items and potentially spells cast on them(maybe 1 BEU per spell level, absorbed as a reaction, similar to how Nomad draws on investiture) I also need some tables on how many BEUs various levels of enchantment would give. Also considering if it would be too strong for them to gain 1 BEU from each kill as they absorb the enemy's Breath(maybe lock that behind a roll, have a chance to draw their power)
2) A balanced heightening chart, including possible changes to what I have already listed as well as buffs all the way up to the 10th heightening.
3)Some forms of Torment, in case things start to get too overpowered. They could even be tied to the heightenings, so that the stronger they become the more they have to fight around their limitations. Also potentially a baseline Torment that is always active decided by a roll on character creation.
4)I need some ideas/feedback for class specific level buffs. So far all I've got is increasing the complexity of their shardblade, allowing basic moving parts(chains, ranged weapons like bows, etc.) at level 5, and more complex devices with multiple moving components at level 9(think clocks, locks, a jack stand, etc). Maybe at a decently high level(like 13) they gain the equivalent of a Divine Breath, granting the buffs of the fifth heightening without the need to hoard enough BEUs to reach that point. Subsequent heightenings will still require the full number of BEUs(the Divine Breath Equivalent is still just 1 BEU, it just grants the buffs)
5)and of course, if y'all come up with anything else that I missed, additions are welcome and wanted.
Thanks in advance to any who take the time to read and/or pitch in.

Hello, I hope this post is okay. If not, please let me know if there is a more suitable place to share or better format.
I had a close family member pass away, and the funeral is scheduled for the weekend of the show in another state. So sadly I wont be able to attend and would love to sell my tickets to a fellow critter.
The details of the tickets are:

• Section B, Row L, Seats 123 & 125 (They are next to each other, weird numbering system they use.)

If you have any interest, you can DM or comment on this post. Price is somewhat flexible, but really I just want to cover as much of the cost paid as possible.
Thanks again, and I hope this post is okay to post here. :)

This was within the first hour after drop off. She was excited. Her mom just left, The screen door had been open cuz it’s 80 degrees out today. I told her. “Let’s go outside”. She turned around and ran about 2ft & ran straight into the screen door and put a pretty good dent into it. Lol
I’ve read all the other posts and I know, that with boarding I’m taking all of that at my own risk, including property damage… it just sucks that they cost about $100 to repair and I guess I shouldn’t have had the screen open knowing she would have been amped up at drop off . . Would you guys just take the loss and repair the door with your own money? She’s only staying two nights so she’s basically staying for free. Payment is $88.. My luck, any advice would be nice… Should I just show the owner at pick up and maybe hope she offers some sort of compensation??? I’m at a loss.

Hi everyone
Which one would you recommend for someone with a degree in an unrelated/non-technical subject?
As many may know here, conversion masters are mainly offered in the UK for people with zero background in CS. They take 1 or 2 years to complete and cost around £25-30k.
Post-Bacc programs in CS are offered by US colleges online. They are basically second bachelors degrees in CS for people who already hold a bachelors degree in any field. They usually take 2 years to complete and cost around $35k in total.
They cost similar and take similar time to complete but one gives a bachelors degree in CS while the other gives a masters degree in CS for students with zero background. Also some conversion masters programs only Kent if I am not wrong offer an industrial placement year so that seems like a big advantage especially in this market right now and I am leaning towards them more.
Would holding only a conversion masters degree in CS, without a bachelors degree in a related/STEM field, be a disadvantage in the eyes of employers?

Has anyone had any luck with enforcement against salesmen ignoring signs? § 39-21. - Penalty.
Any person violating any provision of this article shall be guilty of a Class "b" offense and upon conviction, subject to a fine in an amount not to exceed $750.00 plus costs. Every act of peddling without a license or otherwise in violation of this article shall constitute a separate offense
We have a sign and it seems to do nothing. It seems excessive but these people are incredibly insistent and won't take no for an answer. Just curious if anyone has reached out or done anything. I know they are supposed to have a permit as well

I (31F) have been with my partner (46M) for about 3 years now. We moved in together when our son was 4 months old (he's 16 months now). I am bisexual and have always been really open about it. I've primarily dated men, but had two serious girlfriends in the past (when I was 21 and 18). He knows all of this.
When we first got together he had pretty intense jealousy and thought every male contact outside of family wanted to sleep with me. It impacted a lot of my casual friendships and connections because I worked as an independent wrestler at the time (pre-pregnancy). Per his request, I stopped talking with most of my acquaintances outside of when we're all at shows. I don't have many close friends, so this left me with roughly 3 people - (names changed) Anna, Carrie, and Henry. Anna I speak to once or twice a month. Carrie and Henry I used to speak with daily.
Fast forward to this year, 2024. He started getting upset at my speaking/texting with Henry, who I've known for over 7 years. Henry also has CRPS and other issues due to a freak heart attack 3 years ago - I worry about him and check in to see how he and his mental health are. (Important info: CRPS is nicknamed "suicide disease"). I had to cut him off because it got to the point where my partner blew up one day and then asked me to text this friend asking him to sleep with me. To which my friend replied "No. I would never break up a family" and then "hi [partners name]". I miss him, a lot.
Now, two months post cutting Henry off, partner has started to complain about Carrie. Carrie and I have been thick as thieves for 8 years. IMPORTANT DETAILS- we refer to each other as our sister and Carrie is straight. She has seen me through some of the hardest moments of my life through my 20's and continues to be there for me. I've helped her exit a physically abusive relationship and try to be there for her in any way she needs. She is truly the best friend I've ever had in my life. The (platonic) love and respect is the most mutual thing I've ever experienced in my life.
HERE'S THE ISSUE. He has started saying that if we didn't get together - I'd be with Carrie. I'm pretty sure my face looked like the puke emoji when he said this. He went on to say that I look at her with "stars in my eyes" and that I wait on her hand-and-foot when she visits. When I told him he was wrong and reminded him that she's essentially my sister in all but blood he stated "Sister from Kentucky maybe". This all started as soon as she was the only friend I contacted on a daily basis. As for the "waiting on her" thing, I treat her the same way I treat any guest/family member in my home. I'll tell you where the fridge is, grab towels/shampoo for you, and I won't ask you to clean up while you're here. I have done the same for every friend of his and family member of his that has visited and stayed overnight.
He has also complained directly on the fact that I focus on her over him while she visits. He has explicitly said that he feels that he is in competition with her. She lives over 3 hours away. I only get to see her once every other month or so. I also still do everything for him that I usually do (cook his dinner, clean up, hugs/kisses) while she's here. The biggest difference is she usually helps me with the infant care (I do all childcare) and we talk a lot.
How on earth due I curb his jealousy? I refuse to cut her off. The notion that I'm in love with her is absurd. I don't know how he can understand that he can have platonic relationships with women, but I can't have a platonic relationship with anyone.
Important notes - there's never been cheating of any kind from me OR him. He used to complain about her faking her seizures & her driving (she's on medication and her Dr. has not revoked her license), which has morphed into being angry about how close we are.
TLDR - Partner of 3 years is recently jealous of my oldest female friend and is generally upset at how close she and I are. Feels as if he is in competition with her. How can I alleviate his jealousy?

Hi all,
Perhaps this question is for economic historians. I have been concerned about the price of housing lately. I am trying to understand it in relation to inflation and how our current inflation woes compare to the past. Is there hope that we will see a degree of balance again in the future?
I’ll break this into multiple parts and elaborate further.
How does inflation today, compare to inflation of the late 70s and early 80s?
According to this article, inflation was near 14.5 percent in 1980, which, if I understand correctly, is half of what we experienced. Did the cost of housing jump similarly to the increase in inflation? Is it fair to say the cost of housing is rising faster than the rate of inflation? This is anecdotal, but it was easy to find a $250,000-$300,000 house in my hometown prior to the recession. Homes that sold in that range previously are now purchased for $450,000 or more and demolished. The new homes being built are listed for 1.5 million plus and they are still selling over asking. I felt for a long time that the area was undervalued and expected SoCal like prices where one million buys a starter home. I live less than 30 miles outside of NYC in a suburban area.
Did high interest rates keep the rise in housing prices under control in 1980?
Does the current tax structure contribute to inflation?
Does the post-Reagan tax structure hobble the government's ability to deploy resources to respond to inflation and avoid mass disparities in wealth and living standards? Is the divide between rich and poor greater now than 1980? Is inflation, at least in part a consequence of this?
Bretton Woods ended in 1971, was that a factor in the rise of inflation in 1980? Is the growth of money/wealth potentially limitless (I wish I could phrase this better)? I assume that is a large reason for the levels of wealth we see today.
Historically, are interest rates realistically still too low?
I know people loved refinancing their homes for 2.5%, but that just seemed like reckless financial policy to me. What are the consequences of this and is that a contributing factor to inflation?
Is present day inflation unprecedented?
Can we look at how we adjusted since 1980 and find hope that a similar recovery could happen?

Patio Project Estimated Cost
Looking to give a my backyard a little make over, unsure if I need to wait another year to save or if my budget could cover these costs. The drop off from my existing covered patio to the grass is about 6" so I'll need to fill this whether I can budget in pavers or go with concrete.
I'm looking for pricing for these two phases, everything else will be a separate budget.

1. Retaining wall, brick work (brick surround for freestanding grill ~4 ft up; patio surround ~3 ft up, raised flower bed), paver or concrete (which ever would fit my budget)
2. Firepit, pergola, pergola post brick surround

Attached is my schematics, the area that I have to work with is a 30x20 ft. Covered patio area is approximately 14x10 ft. Currently, all grass. Would ~30k cover this? I'm located N. Alabama. Planning to get a few quotes, but just want to get a feeler first.

I’ve (26M) struggled with depression and some suicidal ideation on and off since I was 16. It was a long road and took a lot of work on myself and countless hours of therapy, but around the end of 2023, I was in what I now consider to be the peak of my life. I was working a job I mostly liked, two semesters away from finishing my bachelor’s degree online and exercising almost every other day. After years of loneliness, I finally found a friend group I really adored spending time with, and I had a boyfriend with whom I hadn’t even realized I had fallen in love, whom I’d seen for about 6 months. For perhaps the first time, I had a generally positive outlook, I felt confident and attractive, and I had so much going for me. I had no clue that I was about to make a decision that would significantly alter that course and steer me off into the deepest, darkest depression and most relentless desire to end it all that I’ve ever felt. This is a very long and personal post about my decision to have surgery that I now, in hindsight, believe to have been unnecessary. The surgery itself has left me with chronic pain and probably lifelong negative consequences that are far worse than anything I ever experienced prior. I’ve kept most of this to myself other than sharing it with my therapist, and although I’m on the ledge, I think writing it all down and putting it out there may calm me somewhat. I haven’t spared some graphic details of some of the more sensitive changes to my body because I want this to be as detailed and accurate as possible. And anyway, why should I care? I may be dead soon anyway... My hope is that if I share my story, someone, somewhere, might benefit from it and might not make the same mistake I did that has me sincerely wanting to off myself. So here it goes.
Around NovembeDecember 2023, I started experiencing some strange stabbing pain in my upper right abdomen that would come on suddenly and then go away for no obvious reason. I also thought I saw trace amounts of blood in my stool, and this concerned me enough that I reached out to my primary care doctor at the beginning of January. My doctor is always booked for months, so they told me to go to the emergency room. The ER was packed, and I ended up sitting in the waiting room for about eight hours in between going for an ultrasound and a CT scan. I was getting very tired of waiting and was about ready to give up and leave as I had to work early in the morning the next day. Looking back, I wish I had left. Just before I was about to leave, they called me back and told me that they found something on the CT scan called an intussusception in my small bowel. This is a condition where the intestine gets caught on a “lead point” and folds in on itself, sort of like a telescope. It is most often found in infants and is very rarely found in people my age, yet I was told it is a medical emergency because the tissue of my bowel could die if left untreated, and/or the lead point could be a potentially cancerous tumor. They admitted me and told me they would scan me again in the morning because, despite the severity, there was a chance it could resolve. Hearing that I would be staying overnight shocked me, as I had never been hospitalized before, having always been in good physical health. I have never had digestive issues in the past, I’ve never been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis or anything of the sort, and I had never heard of this condition, but every medical professional I spoke to seemed very concerned that I had it. They didn’t have a bed for me in the hospital at that point, so I had to sleep in the packed and quite chaotic ER. About an hour after I was given a bed, a man was admitted a few feet from me who was very aggressive with all of the nurses, screaming and cursing at them throughout the night. I was not allowed to eat or drink, given the possibility of surgery. I struggled to get any sleep in that environment and woke up the next morning feeling very lethargic.
The surgeon and resident came by my bed and we spoke briefly. The surgeon explained that while the condition was serious, if it continued to show up in my CT scans, they could do minimally invasive laparoscopic surgery to resect the piece of my bowel that was telescoped and stitch it back together. I feel they really downplayed the severity of this procedure. I will never forget them saying, “It’s such a small piece of your bowel, you won’t miss it.” They felt that since I was young and otherwise healthy, I should have no problem making a full recovery. I felt confident in the fact that I was speaking to the chief of surgery at the hospital, who has more than twenty years of experience in the field. Then they brought me for my second scan, and within a few hours I was told the intussusception had not resolved. I was admitted to a hospital room, and the resident came to discuss moving forward with the surgery. My first impulse was “absolutely not,” but I quickly second-guessed myself. Everything I saw in the limited research I was able to do on my phone stated that this was indeed a serious condition that warranted surgery. In that moment, it seemed like the reasons not to go through with it were somewhat vain, such as not wanting the scars and having to forgo lifting weights at the gym for some time. Though it didn’t quite make sense to me that they wanted to operate on the complete opposite side of my body from the one that was in pain and which brought me into the ER in the first place. When I asked the resident about this, he responded, “We don’t understand how referred pain works,” Okay, fair enough, I thought. More than anything, I thought that if a doctor was in front of me, telling me what was going on with my body was an emergency situation that warranted immediate surgery, I should probably listen to them. They’re the “experts,” after all. And given the state I was in, having been in the hospital for over 24 hours at that point, running on very little sleep and nothing to eat, I don’t think I really had the capacity to fully parse what was going on, but given the doctors level of concern, it seemed like I urgently had to make a decision. After about an hour of talking it over with my mother, even though I never had any pain in the area they were about to operate on, I signed the consent papers. (Biggest fucking mistake of my life) I remember they listed risks of things that could go wrong during or shortly after the surgery, such as infection, bowel perforation, etc. They did not mention the procedure’s possible long-term consequences, and neither the surgeon nor resident ever mentioned possible long-term complications, and I didn’t think to ask. I had no experience with this kind of thing whatsoever; I am not a doctor, I don’t know any doctors, and no one I know has ever had abdominal surgery… I was so naive to trust these people, but I did. In fact, I trusted them so much that I was not terribly scared of the procedure I was about to undergo. Again, I chalk that up to the reduced mental capacity I was in, given a tough overnight stay in the ER. I remember the adrenaline rush as I was wheeled down to the operating room. I was singing one of my favorite songs in my head, hyping myself up for the procedure ahead of me. The last thing I remember was one of the OR nurses telling my mother not to worry, that the surgeon was “the best,” and that they had even operated on her husband.
I woke up high as a kite. I heard one of the nurses say I had been given fentanyl, which I remember freaked me out; I had forgotten it is more than a street drug and actually has legitimate uses. The procedure had gone fine, and I was discharged only a day or two later, with my only guidance upon discharge being not to lift heavy objects and “take it easy,” I was in some pain, but it was to be expected at that point and was well controlled by combining Tylenol and Advil. The surgeon called later that week to inform me that the pathology report had come back and that the lead point was simply “some swollen lymph nodes,” I was relieved to hear that it was not cancer. At my follow-up appointment two weeks later, I reported feeling pretty much fine. I had been granted medical leave and short-term disability from my job for six weeks following the surgery. This was the full length of time after which the surgeons expected I would recover fully. I used the time off to hang out with friends and my boyfriend and to focus on finishing what would have been my final semester of school. Those were the last few weeks that I felt somewhat normal despite what I had just gone through. I had no idea what was about to come.
About 5 weeks post-op is when I first began experiencing worse pain deep in my abdomen, right where I had the surgery, plus the pain in my upper right abdomen had not gone away. This new pain is crampy, yet sometimes stabbing, and had seemed to worsen with activity; I have experienced it every single day, nearly every hour, to varying degrees, since the beginning of February. That was also when I began regularly bloating and having difficulty going to the bathroom. No matter how hard I try to push, I can’t fully evacuate my bowels. (This is a nightmare for someone who has receptive anal sex like I used to do regularly. It is now impossible). With the emergence of all these symptoms, I felt very, very scared that there was something else wrong with me. And, of course, this all happened in the week when I was set to return to work. I have a physically demanding customer service job, and I was in so much pain that I found it impossible to be nice to the customers or even stand, so I left and, thankfully, was allowed to take the rest of the week off to figure things out. I obviously called my surgeon, but it also prompted me to do deeper research into the complications that can develop following abdominal surgery. I began pouring over medical journals, trying to figure out what was going on in my body on my own. That was when I first learned about “surgical adhesions.” These are fibrous bands of scar tissue that can develop due to the incisions made during surgery and handling of the bowel. As your body heals from the trauma of surgery, this scar tissue forms and can cause your intestine to stick to other organs or structures in your body. According to medical literature, they form in 90% of all patients who undergo abdominal surgery, but not all adhesions cause complications like what I’ve experienced. They are not easy to diagnose as they are impossible to visualize on any imaging tests, they do not go away on their own (it’s scar tissue), and the only treatment is surgically cutting them apart, which is risky, given that there’s a strong chance they will just grow back and possibly be even worse. This was obviously terrifying to me, but when I asked the surgeon about this, they said, “There’s very little chance that’s what’s happening,” given that the procedure was laparoscopic, not open. I scheduled another appointment with them, wherein they seemed quite dismissive of my concerns. They said the pain was likely “incisional” (it wasn’t and isn’t) but that they would order another CT scan so we could see what was going on. They also wrote me a script for gabapentin, an anticonvulsant meant to prevent seizures that is used off-label to treat pain and anxiety, with the qualifier that they would not write a script for anything stronger, basically implying that I was seeking narcotics, which was not at all the case, and which I found extremely offensive.
My next CT scan was scheduled about a month following that appointment in early March. In the interim, I began taking the gabapentin. I used more than I was prescribed because it was the only way I was able to control the pain and allow myself to feel comfortable at work. I didn’t anticipate the changes it would cause to my mood and behavior. In addition to feeling depressed and scared, I was also becoming easily emotionally dysregulated in ways I believe I would have been able to control prior to taking the medication. But when I didn’t take it, I was in pretty bad pain almost all the time, and I didn’t understand why at that point. My boyfriend noticed these changes in my mood and decided he needed space from me to protect his emotional wellbeing. I didn’t blame him then, and I still don’t, but I miss him terribly. We were supposed to remain “friends,” and he at least pretended he wanted that for a bit of time. At that point, I became determined to ween myself off the gabapentin and continue to work on improving my mental and physical health, for myself, but also for him; as I said, I really loved him. Later that week, after we split, I had my CT scan, and the surgeon called to tell me that it looked like I was just constipated. They advised me to take Miralax daily to ease that constipation, which should hopefully make me feel better. To me, this seemed like a huge relief. I started taking the Miralax, and at that point, I started exercising and lifting weights again. I also started trying to bulk up again, which had been an important part of my fitness journey prior to the surgery.
So April rolls around, and I am still trying my best to resume my normal life, which felt possible again at that point. I did end up successfully weening myself off gabapentin. With this newfound reinvigoration, I attempted to get my boyfriend back. We would make plans, but then he would reschedule again and again. Eventually, he kept our plans, and we met up for a talk in the park. We obviously had a lot to talk about in our relationship, at which point he told me that he simply was not attracted to me anymore. This was devastating news, as that was the first time I realized it was really over. Before I had thought that if I could show him how much I was trying to get back to the place I was before the surgery, he would stick around, but that was the moment I realized it was impossible for him to see me in the light he once did. Nevertheless, I tried to push on, kept going to the gym, and kept trying to get my life back. I was still seeing my friends regularly, and I was able to push myself to get through work, even though it was painful and hard. Plus, I was still working on my degree despite not feeling able to give it my best effort and focus with everything going on. I was still motivated to keep going, and I thought things might improve from there.
Well, lo and behold, they did not. One day in early April, I was sitting on the couch, sort of mindlessly snacking on some almonds before I was set to go have drinks with friends and see a concert. Immediately afterward, I felt that pain again in my abdomen. Despite that, I was really excited to see my friends and see the show. We met at a bar, where I had three cocktails before we made our way to the venue. I drank one or two more while the opener played. But by the time the headliner came on, I ended up in so much pain that I told my friends quite regrettably that I had to leave. I walked home and ate a small snack, wrongfully thinking it might make me feel better, before popping a melatonin and heading to bed. I woke up around 2 AM in the most intense pain I have experienced both before and after the surgery. I was extremely bloated and unable to pass gas or move my bowels. I had read somewhere that this was a sign of bowel obstruction and that I needed to seek medical attention. I made the decision to go to the ER. I walked down the stairs to leave, and as I did, I felt myself begin to vomit. Thankfully I was able to make it to the sink as I puked up what I imagine was that snack I’d had before bed. Shortly after, I arrived at the ER, this time choosing a different facility from the one where the surgeon had dismissed all of my post-surgical concerns. I was quickly admitted and given another CT scan. They confirmed my bowel was obstructed and told me they would place a tube into my nose down to my stomach to try to pump some of the blockage out. I asked the ER doctor if I was going to need to have surgery, to which he replied, “It’s a strong possibility.” This was horrifying to me. Getting the tube inserted into my nose was so painful, and I was screaming in agony the entire time. Then they gave me morphine, and I passed out. The details and timeline of that hospital stay are somewhat hazy in my mind, but I ended up being there for four days, over which I was given a “gastro graph challenge” test, wherein I was instructed to drink a contrast element which would be visualized by a series of Xrays so the doctors could monitor if anything was passing through my intestines. I met with another surgeon, whom I found to be much more attentive than my prior one, or at least simply possessing superior active listening skills. In fact, I felt that all of the staff at this second hospital were a lot more sensitive to my needs than the first. I really wish I had gone there the first time, as it’s the best hospital in the city. Add that to my long list of mistakes… Anyway.
Despite her more positive demeanor, she recommended another emergency surgery, this time a laparotomy (open) surgery to resect my bowel a second time. Her hypothesis was that the anastomosis (the medical term for the connection formed between my bowel loops during the first surgery) could be too narrow to allow food to pass through properly. I asked this new surgeon if it was possible I had adhesions causing this problem, and unlike the last one, she said, “It’s possible,” especially given that these symptoms began emerging a few weeks after the first surgery. But, like I said, they don’t really know what’s going on until they cut you open and go in there. Given that I am now much more aware of the risks of surgery and the risks of having a second procedure, I was fervently against going under the knife again. I simply couldn’t handle it. So I opted for conservative management, which meant waiting it out, taking an enema, and eventually getting back on a liquid and then solid diet. Thankfully, sitting in the hospital being NPO (Latin for nil per os - “nothing by mouth”) and taking the gastro graph made it pass eventually, and I didn’t have to have a second surgery. I was discharged from the hospital with instructions to schedule another diagnostic test called a “small bowel series,” in which they use xrays to track the amount of time it takes liquid to pass through your digestive system and to start a “low residue” diet- meaning eating very little fiber. Suddenly gone from my diet are all of the fruits and vegetables I once loved, and I can’t eat nuts or seeds (It seems to me that those almonds caused the obstruction in the first place). Basically, I’m now forced to exist on a diet of the most processed foods imaginable because although they are demonstrably unhealthy, that is all that my body is now able to safely digest.
After leaving that second hospital stay, I proceeded to delve even further into research about not only long-term abdominal surgery complications such as adhesions but also the nature of adult intussusceptions in general. I once again started furiously googling, finding results from medical journals and personal accounts from Reddit. I came to the conclusion that intussusceptions in adults, while ostensibly serious, have a strong possibility of resolving on their own, especially when they present in the small bowel, in the absence of vomiting (I never vomited before going to the hospital in January), when there is no obvious lead point (they couldn’t see it on my scans) and there is no obstruction (I was never obstructed before the surgery). Furthermore, while intussusception does present with blood in the stool, it is usually described as “currant jelly stool” (something I don’t recommend you google because it looks atrocious), which is not even close to the trace amounts of blood I saw in my own stool. (But no one ever asked, so how would I know the difference?) I never experienced any pain whatsoever in the area of my small bowel before the surgery. And yet I was told by a doctor that I was experiencing a medical emergency, which might have been caused by some malignant growth, which scared the shit out of me and made me feel at the time that immediate action was necessary. At one point, I even found a paper that attributed intussusception to cannabis use, which I had engaged in that week. In these papers, the authors highlight that these intussusceptions were transient and did not require surgical intervention. And on the point of adhesions, they are not easily diagnosed, and they are not easily treatable without surgical intervention; and said intervention is a cache 22 scenario because every time you get cut open, you risk growing back even more adhesions.
With all of this knowledge, I became absolutely distraught. I was never informed that by having this procedure performed, I would be at this increased risk of experiencing bowel obstruction. Like most people, I literally had no idea what an “adhesion” even was. What made me lose hope the most was that it seems as if doctors do these surgeries and simply ignore adhesion as a consequence because they don’t have any feasible way to prevent it or treat it without potentially creating more adhesion. So, although I was released from the hospital having avoided a second surgery, I felt more lost and hopeless than ever. I simply couldn’t cope with the realization that this would be something I would deal with for the rest of my life, something I could’ve avoided had I never agreed to get the first surgery because although I had that original pain I mentioned earlier- which has still continued to this day, it wasn’t and isn’t anything close to how excruciating the obstruction was, and it wasn’t really disrupting my life in the way the post-surgical pain has. But under the guidance of doctors, I opted to permanently alter my body, and there’s no going back. I feel so incredibly stupid for being deceived by these “medical professionals” who didn’t take the time to understand what was actually going on with me and chose to take an overly aggressive course of action that has left me permanently altered, in pain, and completely diminished my quality of life.
That week after leaving the hospital was truly the most suicidal I have ever felt. As I mentioned, I’ve dealt with suicidal ideation on and off since my adolescence. I’ve always had latent thoughts about wanting to die, wanting to escape, feeling like I’m hopeless and there’s no use trying to better myself. But this time, the desire to end my life was so much more intense. I became extremely disassociated from everything in life. In that week following my second hospitalization, there was absolutely nothing that could bring me joy. Before the surgery, I used to find deep pleasure in simply walking around my neighborhood for at least an hour every day. But I couldn’t do it anymore because walking gives me time to think, and thinking is too painful. It always leads back to the realization of the way I am now. Nothing could make me smile or laugh. I couldn’t even listen to music, one of my favorite things in the world. I became completely devoid of all emotions as my research transitioned away from my various new ailments and into ways I could end my life.
The rest of April and May passed by in a blur. Over that time, I’ve had two more appointments with the surgeons I met at the second hospital, a small bowel study (a more in-depth series of x-rays tracking the transit time of liquid through the GI tract), and a colonoscopy and endoscopy. Those have not yielded any significant findings as to what is going on, making me believe even more that all of these problems are being caused by adhesions. However, the small bowel study did reveal that my stomach is slightly herniated, which I believe is the cause of the original pain that I sought care for in the first place. At my last appointment, I was told to see a “small bowel specialist” GI doctor. But that was three weeks ago, and I haven’t even been able to get an appointment with them. I’m on a waiting list, but I imagine I’m looking at many months before I can get an appointment. I don’t know what they’re going to do for me. I don’t know that there’s anything that can be done besides more surgery, and I am very fearful about that. I fear the only way that these fucking doctors who fucked me up in the first place are going to even try to help me is if I’m obstructed again. But the changes to my diet, as much as I hate them, have kept me in a more manageable amount of pain and out of the hospital for now.
It is now June, and I am shocked that I am still here and confused about what to do now. Despite the diet, I still feel pain and discomfort at some point in the day, every single day. I think about wanting this all to end all of the time. I have not attempted again, though I did pick up another nitrogen tank, and I’ve also stockpiled a 90 day supply of my antidepressant, so at least I have the option. I am drinking two bottles of wine or half a bottle of vodka nearly every night. Alcohol is the only thing that seems to quiet my thoughts enough to get through each evening. I am sitting here in a cycle where I think about doing it, but I still feel obligated to go to work, to see my friends, and to feed my cat. My life has continued, but I don’t feel like I’m living anymore; I merely exist. I feel extremely unattractive because although I look the same as I did on the outside, I’m overcome with never ending emotional pain and turmoil on the inside. I am now unable to take care of myself and be on top of my life the way I used to be. After the second hospitalization, I dropped out of school and have no plans to continue, as I won’t need a bachelor’s degree when I’m dead. I have stopped exercising altogether, as it feels like there’s no point in trying to improve or take care of a body that has been permanently broken. Through all of this, I’ve lost much of my confidence and I feel I have completely lost my identity. I miss that old me so much. I miss my boyfriend so much. Plans with my friends are sometimes the only thing that keeps me going, and I am extremely grateful for them, but despite their continued presence, I feel extremely isolated and lonely. It’s hard to explain what I’ve been through to people without the context of all that has happened. I don’t have the energy to share it with them. And I feel if I speak about what I’m going through, I will feel like a burden, killing the vibe, and I don’t want that.
I have never felt this alienated from my body and from everything in life. I cannot cope with the fact that things will never be how they were before. I feel so incredibly distraught that I threw away what was shaping up to be the best days of my life. There’s nothing I or anyone else can do to change what has happened to me. It took me such a long time to get to the place I was in before the surgery. It was a brief and beautiful couple of months, but it’s over, and there’s no way for me to return. Even if there was, I don’t have that much of a fight left in me. I feel like such a fucking idiot for allowing the doctors to do this to me. I look around at all the happy people around me and know that I am dragging them down with my depression. I am tired of feeling helpless and like a burden on everyone I love. I am a shell of the person I once was. Ending it all is the singular thing that’s in my control. It is the only way to end all of this pain and suffering and stop the concern and confusion of my loved ones. I know that my exit will be painful to them, but they will all get over it in time. But me? I don’t think I will ever get over this. I will never be able to accept this horrible choice that I made. I am so tired of living this way. I am supposed to turn 27 soon, but I really don’t want to live to see my birthday. I have nothing to celebrate. My life is completely, irreversibly fucked. I don’t know when I will go, but it will be sooner rather than later. I am so sorry to everyone. I know this will hurt. I just can’t go on living this way. To all the people I care about, know that I love you, and I am so thankful you were part of my life. I know you will all go on to do great things without me. This entire saga has been unbearable; my life has spun out of control, and suicide is the only way to end my suffering. I’m sorry. I’m signing off.
TL;DR: Doctors performed a surgery I now think was unnecessary and the complications make me want to kill myself.

Booked a private session at wacosurf for Sunday, 6/16 7-8am. Probably gonna run the tube wave + air wave.
5 surfers so far. Posting here to see if anyone is interested in joining the session to cut down the cost a bit. Message me if youre interested.