Sever jaw pain after novocaine shots
World Premiere Exclusive scams.
2024.06.07 21:51 Lonely_Preparation99 World Premiere Exclusive scams.
 | I feel like an idiot. I just won through an eBay auction this Jaws poster, supposedly signed by John Williams, Steven Spielberg, Lorraine Gary, Richard Dreyfuss and the late Roy Scheider. It seemed too good to be true given that very good to mint condition original Jaws posters go for 2K or more. I got it for $898. It wasn't until after I won the item (two days ago) that I started doing research on these fake posters with the hologram sticker and COA. It's currently in "shipped" status but the tracking only says that a label has been created. I've sent the seller several messages telling him not to ship it and demanding a refund. No response of course. And I've put in a refund request with eBay and explained the situation. They may not be able to do anything until the poster arrives. It should have been a red flag that this guy also had a several Star Wars and Lord of the Rings posters, all signed by the whole cast, up for sale. You live and learn đ . submitted by Lonely_Preparation99 to movieposters [link] [comments] |
2024.06.07 21:48 Factor_Kindly Tooth pain and wisdom teeth with bone graft?
 | I had several fillings done January. After my proceeded they recommended wisdom teeth removal to avoid future problems. The non-sedation estimate with insurance is around 3,000ish out of my own pocket. This total includes bone grafts ($700 each) not covered by my insurance. I declined at the time in hopes to search around for better pricing at some point. submitted by Factor_Kindly to askdentists [link] [comments] Since my fillings I had felt a minor discomfort in my upper left quadrant around my 3/4th tooth(definitely in the gum area). They stated nothing looks wrong and I expected it to go away with filling adjustments. With time it got really painful and decided to go in again. They mentioned they noticed nothing wrong again but did see issues with my wisdom tooth. They recommended wisdom tooth removal and for the time being they sanded down(not sure the correct term my apologies) my fillings again to adjust my bite. Thankfully I do not feel as much pain and pressure in that area but now my jaw feels uncomfortable and stressed in several areas, occasionally still in that same original area. (A part of me worries they may have sanded too much down. ) X-rays were performed at different locations before my fillings. I believe the close up xray are from the teeth that feel the most discomfort. Looking at my X-rays, is it necessary for me to receive bone grafts for my wisdom tooth removal? Is the price reasonable? And if possible and identifiable, Is this really where my discomfort is coming from? Thank you, any help means a ton to me. |
2024.06.07 21:44 Jus17173 Depth of Madness - Chapter 2 - (Edge of Madness Book 2)
Book One: Edge of Madness - Chapter One Previous Next
I could pretend to be a whore. That's what Masutap thought as she stood before the gate leading to the fortress of the Highlord of the Eastlocal. Pretense was a thing she indulged in back when she'd been an ordinary woman, with ordinary ambitions. But as of now, things had changed. Things had changed drastically, for she was now a champion of the Goddess of Order. A champion who would do anything in her power to mock the very being that fed her power.
Power, yes. It was what she felt. Every time her eyes turned upon the world, she saw Order. Like bees in a hive, working towards a similar objective. Survival. Yes, they all wanted to survive. And that's where the power lay, in her ability to deny a thing's chance at survival, for when her eyes flashed red, things died.
"Pardon me sir." A man dragging a cart of coal said. She was standing in his way, she knew this of course, she'd known it since the time he'd decided to deliver the coal. She saw the strings of prophesy in the smallest of things, and oh what power lied in discernment, to see the past and the future in absolute clarity, the secret lay in following strands of Order. The Highlord of the Eastlocal always received a cart of coal at around this time every fifth day. He would serve as her witness. Coal. She smiled, remembering how Orgeeg had managed to penetrate into the Palace of Binoria, on a stack of coal. She recalled how Orgeeg thwarted her plans, then she remembered how small her plans had been.
"Pardon me... Uh lady?" She removed her cowl as the Coal merchant spoke. Her hair was longer now, she'd let it grow, it dangled askew of her ears. Dark and rich as her mother's once was. Masutap smiled at the man whose face was caked in coal dust.
"Today Shama dies! Tonight the Highlord of the EastLocal is no more!" Masutap said.
Twin daggers she had strapped to her waist were suddenly in her hands. The coal merchant stumbled back several steps, dragging the cart with him. The sun was dipping into the horizon, becoming a smeared red smudge upon the canvas of her perception. Her eyes flashed red, and the smeared smudge's light brightened, blanketing everything, making her see.
She spun and threw the dagger in her left hand. The knife whirled in the air and met the throat of a guard who was just cresting the upper walkway of the gate, he wore red leather that marked him as one of the royal guards of the Highlord. A shout sounded. The guards at the gate turned their attention to her. They were six of them, each of them dazed with the slow reception of understanding. The bubble they lived in, understanding it enabled her to see how blind humanity is. Like sheep, no wonder the Vigons ruled them so easily.
She was in their midst before they drew their swords from their scabbards. She drove the dagger into the throat of the first one, danced in a pirouette, thrust free the dagger and hurled it into the throat of another guard. Her hands were free, she curled her fingers into fists.
The Goddess Meena, Goddess of Order, spoke to her. **What is the purpose of this?*
"Oh, you'll see." Masutap said and drove a fist into the chest of one guard, her hand caved through the chest cavity, snapping the spine in half and emerging free of the Guards back. She paused for effect, the three remaining guards gawked at her. She pried her arm free of the corpse and met their panicked gazes. "Sound the alarm, you're too few to make me sweat. I need all of you. Gods! Come on you fucking cowards!"
Two of the three guards charged her, one took a swing at her head with a flat blade, the sharp edge missed her by a hair's breadth as she ducked. She brought up her knee and connected with the man's groin, raising him off the ground, legs held apart, face contorted in pain. He collapsed on the ground with a squeal akin to that of a dying rabbit. The other guard put on a stance of Grind, legs parted, right foot before the left. Knees bent. He brandished his sword before him, and the guard behind him ran off to sound the alarm. Masutap smiled.
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He slept on a bed filled with whores. Talisi women with their dark skin and white hair, Remu women with their sandy peppered hair and copper skin, Binorian women with their blonde hair and pale milky skin. He was their God and they flocked to him in worship. He owned all of them, from the frailest to the most able bodied. From the smartest to the daftest. They were all his.
The Highlord of the Eastlocal observed the head of the Talisi woman resting on his thigh, her breathing was deep, her dark naked breasts rising and falling with every inhale and exhale. Five other women slept around him, each as beautiful as the last.
Of all the men in the realm, I alone am the honored one. Shama thought. He caressed his bulging belly with his pudgy fingers the size of sausages. His appearance did pass as grotesque. Bloated, balding with a cleanly shaven head, wide of girth and bow legged. Yet, no man has conquered the bodies of women as he had done. Women who lusted after tall handsome men. Women who sought capable men with astounding intelligence. They all gave in to him, none could deny him and when they did, well, there were ways to make them yield.
An orgy at noon. That was the gist of it, and another orgy before the midnight bell. Life was good, life was beautiful. Shama had thought that after the death of King Vayin Vigon in the hands of the infamous Kolotian, Ishar, that his wealth will dwindle, that his status will come down a step. That the might of Binoria will be a fickle thing after their first loss at war. But of course, this wasn't to be. The Queen, Dahli Vigon, had received the blessing of Meena, passed down from her father. As long as one with the Jojoh Meena, the blessing of Meena, still ruled, then things will stay as they've always been. Dahli had taken over, ensuring that Binoria didn't fall into anarchy, ensuring the Vigon name remained revered. The beautiful blonde haired girl was now the most potent soul upon the realm. How he longed to have her in his bed, parting those pale thighs sinuated with muscle. She'd become quite the fair lady. And her presence oozed power.
Shama wanted her but a thought kept his desires at bay. She'd frowned at him at the recent Highlords meeting with the throne. Apparently, his tastes and businesses didn't bode well with her. The selling of flesh, that is what he partook in with the zeal of a drowning man reaching for a floating oar. Importing women from all over the realm, some came willingly, others reluctantly. But in the end they all came. Their dignity thrown away for the promise of gold vigons. They filled the whore houses and men flocked to them in throngs, lining his pocket with gold vigons
It was his inventiveness that brought him to the top, the Highlord of the Eastlocal was once a position few envied. But his eye, trained in the art of commerce, enabled him to transform the east of Binoria. Creating a network that not only benefited him, but also the crown. And in so doing, despite her frowns and her reluctance to treat with him, she still couldn't voice her displeasure. Dahli needed him, she needed him for the coin necessary to maintain her position upon the crown. To line the pockets of her Legions. She needed him, and one day he will have her. No woman can deny him, and if they did, there were ways to make them give in.
Suddenly, the twin oak doors leading to his bed chambers flew open. The Captain of the Red Guard, in charge of his safety, Shang, walked in. "Highlord." He said with a bow, the women around him stirred. Outside, a bell started ringing, slowly at first then with extreme vigor. Something is wrong. Shang's obvious panic was clear to see. The opened door allowed him to see several Red guards crowded at the door.
"What is the meaning of this?" Shama asked, his beady eyes on Shang. An inhuman scream sounded somewhere within the fortress. Shama's blood chilled in his veins.
"There's an intruder." Shang said while ravaging through the clothes on the floor. He lifted a red jerkin, two sizes too large, the right size for the Highlord. He threw it at Shama and the Highlord hastened to put it on. He ignored the bewildered looks of the naked whores.
"Intruders or intruder?" Shama asked as Shang led him out of his bed chambers. Another scream sounded, closer. The guards at the door, seven of them, crested around him as Shang led the way.
"A woman, she's alone." Shang said.
Shama gripped Shang's arm, halting him. "What do you mean by this? A singular woman causing... causing... this?"
"She's..." Shang hesitated.
"Speak! You fool!"
"She seems to be inhumanly strong and fast. I only saw her fight through a blockade of my brothers, without a sword. She tore my brothersâ the Red Guards, to pieces." Shang's eyes became glazed, as if his mind was replaying the mayhem he'd bore witness to. Shama let go of his arm. The trembling was taking him again, starting at the soles of his feet, up his spine around his neck to his hands. It had been so long since he felt this, the animalistic fear confounded on the existence of an unknown, an unknown that sought to see him dead.
"Captain, what is your course of action?" Shama asked.
Shang seemed to shake himself free of his trance. "We're going to take you to the stables, get you on the fastest steed andâ" A scream echoed through the halls of the fortress of the Highlord of the Eastlocal. Checking everyone in place.
"What of provisions?"
"There's no time." Shang said. He drew a flat blade from the scabbard at his side. The Guards all around mimicked him, the rustling of steel could be heard, and there, at the Western end of the fortress, screams sounded.
Shang started a brisk walk towards the East end of the Fortress. His boots, soles lined with metal, clancked upon the ground. Shama shuffled close behind Shang, panting like a mare in heat. The Red Guards around him stole glances to their rear, sweat woven with fear formed a sleek mask upon their startled faces. And in those eyes Shama was able to weigh how dire matters were.
A shout sounded from ahead, bringing Shang to an abrupt stop. "Howâ" His words caught in his throat as a woman caked in blood and gore emerged from the bend linking the hallway they were in to another hallway that led to the stables.
She stood before them and spread out her bloody fingers at Shama. "Highlord, nice to meet you." She waved. "Say, I hear you can show a woman a good time and I'm in quite the mood for a good time tonight."
Shama trembled, the woman seemed vaguely familiar. The angles of her cheekbones , that nose, those eyes. She resembled Dahli.
"Moran and Jesul to me!" Shang commanded. Two of the guards behind Shama moved forward to flank Shang on either side. "Employ any forms, ensure I get close to her so I may employ the form of Awe."
Aweâ the grappling technique that ensured the limbs were pinned. Shama saw Shang's ploy. He needed to contain the woman so Shama could move past them and head for the stables. Shama cursed himself for the design of his fortress that allowed for only one route to the stables.
Shang, Moran and Jesul raised their broad swords. One raising it above the head in a form of Rage, the other bringing the blade level with his face in the form of Pride. Shang lowered his blade and the guards flanking him charged, he followed close behind. The woman let out a cry that could only be translated as one of glee. She charged them.
Moran brought his sword down on the woman but she slid on her knees, allowing momentum to push her beyond the reach of his blade. Jesul thrust at her, raising his right leg and angling the sword downwards at her face. But the woman dodged, spun upon the ground on the small of her back and kicked Jesul's leg from under him. Jesul fell and as he raised his head he met with the woman's fist, there was a loud crunch as his face caved in. His hand let go of the sword as his body became limp.
Shang saw the opening and dived at the woman before she could stand. The woman spread her arms wide, welcoming. Shang pounced but instead landed on the woman's upraised knees, she grabbed his leather armor by the collar and flung him behind her and onto Moran. Both of them collapsed on the ground.
She stood up and smiled at Shama.
"Who are you?" Shama asked.
"I'm Masutap, the sister of Queen Dahli." The woman answered.
"Men! Turtle formation! Swords out, save the Highlord! Move you fools!" Shang said as he picked himself up from the ground behind Masutap.
The men around Shama compacted closer. Their swords pointing at Masutap who regarded them with a smirk upon her face. They inched forward, hesitantly at first, then with confidence as they saw their Captain pick up his sword. They all came to a stand still when the eyes of the woman glowed a fierce red, as if she held the Jojoh Meena. And Shama, the Highlord of the Eastlocal, trembled before her gaze.
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Intuition, the immediate cognition without the use of conscious rational processes. It was simple for her, she dodged the sword thrusts and swipes easily. She turned either way, always beyond reach of the blades, always within striking distance. Her strength was a thing of beauty, somehow her frail wrists held the power necessary to crush a throat and crush a throat she did. She didn't tire, she didn't require forms of combat. The power of the Goddess of Order coursed through her veins and with it came rejuvenation.
The Red Guards pounced on her, seeking to put in place the form of Awe. But their efforts were in vain, she side stepped them easily, always on her feet. She saw an opening and like a river emptying into the Rankf sea she took it, delivering a punch to the side of a Guard's chest, feeling as ribs broke and punctured the lung.
**What is the purpose of this?* The Goddess Meena spoke within her mind. An ever present being whose words sought to throw her off, to calm the tempest raging within her. Masutap didn't want calm, she wanted fire and brimstone, she wanted Binoria to burn so their precious Queen will rule nothing but ash. She decreed this with a war cry, plunging into the midst of the Red Guards. She kicked two, flinging them across the hallway. One thrust with his blade but she caught it between her arm and side, she twisted the blade free of his grasp, gripped the hilt and decapitated the man in one swift motion.
She parried a strike to her left, danced free of two thrust then brought the blade down onto a Guard's head. She felt as the blade bit bone and she wasted no time in pulling it free. **What is the purpose of this?* Meena asked once more.
Masutap took three steps back to widen her periphery. "An inferno." She said as she flexed her sword hand. Suddenly, the Guard who was definitely their Captain, reached into the mass of clustered Guards pressed to the wall, away from her. And pulled the Highlord free of the men surrounding him.
"Form a blockade!" He screamed as he tagged and pulled at the distraught Highlord, leading him towards the end of the hallway. The remaining Guards blocked her vision of them. Like a fool she'd been too enthralled by the battle, allowing the Highlord to slowly slip past her, cocooned in the safety of the Guards in their turtle formation. He was making clear his escape and somehow, this aroused her, blowing upon an ember lodged deep within her until it sparked.
**What is the purpose of this?* Like a parrot, the Goddess repeated her question.
"An inferno." Masutap answered and lunged.
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He was sweating profusely, his breath caught in his throat, causing him to choke on air. He followed Shang, feeling the Captain of the Red Guard's displeasure at his inability to keep up. They descended a flight of stairs, taking three at a time. He almost collapsed but the Captain steadied him.
"Not far now my Lord. Just at that bend before us." Shang said. They took the bend and ran clear of the fortress. The horses were just ahead, they rushed to them. Shama took delight in the open air. The stables were void of people, Shama wondered where the stable hands were. They entered the stable and Shang dragged him to the first cubicle on the right where a saddled horse stood.
Shama hastily climbed onto the saddle with the aid of the Captain. Shang placed his Highlord's feet in the stirrups and moved to flank the horse. "Lord." He said, fighting for solid ground that will enable his words to come forth easily. "It has been an honor to serve under you." Shama smiled but his smile proved too little a gesture to carry the weight or their current predicament. "Ride hard for the Capital, ensure the Queen knows of all that's gone down here. I will stay back and hold her for as long as I can." Shang concluded with a crisp salute. The Highlord nodded and with the guidance of his captain upon the horse's reins, they exited the stable "She is a good steed, see the mark of her coat? She can take you far." Shang said once free of the stables. A scream sounded from within the fortress, horrid in its guttural screech. "Go now my Lorâ" Shang's words died in his mouth as an explosion erupted at the first floor of the fortress, stone parted, breaking as easily as a clay vase, the window panels and the glass set in place erupted outwards with the stone. Three figures tumbled free of the eruption, tangled in the air, twisting with the fall. They landed, the woman on her feet, knees bent and a fist pressed to the ground, the other two guards lay insensate upon the ground, their bodies a mangled mess. Shang slapped the horse's hide and Shama took of in a gallop.
The Highlord turned back, watched as the woman rose free of the debri and charged Shang. The captain employed a form of Grind but the Highlord's view was hindered by a sharp turn around the cobblestones towards the gate of his fortress. The blood and bodies upon the ground unsettled the horse, forcing its pace to be more hurried and Shama was all the more grateful for it.
She has the Jojoh Meena! Shama thought with awe as the horse broke free of the fortress in a quick gallop that had him bouncing upon the saddle. His thighs felt the brunt force of his escape but he could do nothing but hold on for dear life. This is what I'm reduced to, at the end of the line dependency thrives, in old age your children are those you depend on. I never thought I'd come to rely on anyone throughout my life. Yet here I am, depending on a horse to save my skin. He turned his head back and heaved a sigh of relief. The fortress was dwindling within his periphery, he had made quick his escape. Shama will live to see another day. And when the sun rises and sets, I will bring judgment upon the woman whose very existence rivals my own. Masutap. I will hunt her, she will know no safety within the realm, she will never know peace or a good night's sleeâ Something unnerved him. There, at the entrance to the fortress, a figure appeared. Following the path charted by his horse. She hopes to outrun my horse? He tilted his head back and laughed. There is faith and delusion and she seems to be enamored by both. To think her capable of outrunning a horse. What a fool what aâ His thoughts halted when he turned back, his mouth dropped, his jaw hanging loose. Masutap was catching up, he did not know how but she was gaining on him. She'd been a speck in the distance, barely visible against the backdrop of the fortress. But now her features were getting more defined and her limbs, they were a blur as she pushed forward with inhuman speed.
Panic drove Shama into action, he kicked his heels at the horse's flanks. Willing it to go faster. "Run you fool! Run!" He was frothing at the mouth as the horse went downhill, cutting his view of the one in pursuit. He gripped harder at the reins and screamed, slapping the horse's neck. He looked back to see Masutap emerge upon the hill and start a quick descent after him. He thought about guiding the horse into the wilderness and thought against it seeing that a gallop won't be possible with trees in the way. His only hope was in outpacing her for surely, even one with the Jojoh Meena must tire. He hoped Masutap would relent, he hoped her bloodlust would have proved sated by the guards who'd met their end by her. He hoped that he would live to see the sun climb into the sky one more time. Darkness was setting in and suddenly thoughts of the sun and it's warmth sprouted a yearning within him that made him weep. He turned his head back, she was a hundred paces away. The horse was tiring, it's gallop lazed in vigor. This is the end then, all those afternoons spent indoors hosting orgies. I should have spent them beneath the sun, I should have spent them in the sun He looked back once more, his horse barely keeping pace. The horse threw a shoe and Shama was flung off it. He tumbled onto the ground, his weight rested upon his twisted knee, the sharp pop of the joint led him into an anguished wail. The horse screamed, its fore limbs oddly twisted. The horse thrashed upon the ground and Shama rolled away. He felt weak, he felt defeated and most of all, he felt hopeless.
He lay there, watching the sky, the moon was up, barely half of it adorned the night. He wished it had been full, all those nights when he'd regarded the sky as one would a thing of no consequence. Now he found himself wishing he'd appreciated it more. In the end regrets rule the mind, for in its dying wails no sound of gratitude can be heard.
She came and stood above him, her face blocking the view of the sky. She breathed loudly and for a moment the only sounds around them were from the injured horse and her.
"Dahli will come for you." He opined despite the throbbing pain within his twisted leg.
"Shama, darling," Masutap said as she lowered herself to lie beside him. She chuckled. "Darling, that word. The Goddess Meena loves that word. She uses it a lot. I find it distasteful yet here I am. Calling you darling."
"I have not time for pleasantries." Shama interjected. "Cut my throat and be done with it."
Masutap sighed. "That's not a creative way to kill someone you know. No, how many women have suffered pain beneath you? I have to give answer to that and that means a show. I will drag you to your fortress, there I will strip you naked and castrate you. I will feed you your cock as the women whom you took advantage of watch. Then we'll douse you in Rankf Oil and set you alight."
Shama started weeping. And a new voice joined the fray, he wept, she heaved and the horse screamed.
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submitted by Jus17173 to HFY [link] [comments]
I could pretend to be a whore. That's what Masutap thought as she stood before the gate leading to the fortress of the Highlord of the Eastlocal. Pretense was a thing she indulged in back when she'd been an ordinary woman, with ordinary ambitions. But as of now, things had changed. Things had changed drastically, for she was now a champion of the Goddess of Order. A champion who would do anything in her power to mock the very being that fed her power.
Power, yes. It was what she felt. Every time her eyes turned upon the world, she saw Order. Like bees in a hive, working towards a similar objective. Survival. Yes, they all wanted to survive. And that's where the power lay, in her ability to deny a thing's chance at survival, for when her eyes flashed red, things died.
"Pardon me sir." A man dragging a cart of coal said. She was standing in his way, she knew this of course, she'd known it since the time he'd decided to deliver the coal. She saw the strings of prophesy in the smallest of things, and oh what power lied in discernment, to see the past and the future in absolute clarity, the secret lay in following strands of Order. The Highlord of the Eastlocal always received a cart of coal at around this time every fifth day. He would serve as her witness. Coal. She smiled, remembering how Orgeeg had managed to penetrate into the Palace of Binoria, on a stack of coal. She recalled how Orgeeg thwarted her plans, then she remembered how small her plans had been.
"Pardon me... Uh lady?" She removed her cowl as the Coal merchant spoke. Her hair was longer now, she'd let it grow, it dangled askew of her ears. Dark and rich as her mother's once was. Masutap smiled at the man whose face was caked in coal dust.
"Today Shama dies! Tonight the Highlord of the EastLocal is no more!" Masutap said.
Twin daggers she had strapped to her waist were suddenly in her hands. The coal merchant stumbled back several steps, dragging the cart with him. The sun was dipping into the horizon, becoming a smeared red smudge upon the canvas of her perception. Her eyes flashed red, and the smeared smudge's light brightened, blanketing everything, making her see.
She spun and threw the dagger in her left hand. The knife whirled in the air and met the throat of a guard who was just cresting the upper walkway of the gate, he wore red leather that marked him as one of the royal guards of the Highlord. A shout sounded. The guards at the gate turned their attention to her. They were six of them, each of them dazed with the slow reception of understanding. The bubble they lived in, understanding it enabled her to see how blind humanity is. Like sheep, no wonder the Vigons ruled them so easily.
She was in their midst before they drew their swords from their scabbards. She drove the dagger into the throat of the first one, danced in a pirouette, thrust free the dagger and hurled it into the throat of another guard. Her hands were free, she curled her fingers into fists.
The Goddess Meena, Goddess of Order, spoke to her. **What is the purpose of this?*
"Oh, you'll see." Masutap said and drove a fist into the chest of one guard, her hand caved through the chest cavity, snapping the spine in half and emerging free of the Guards back. She paused for effect, the three remaining guards gawked at her. She pried her arm free of the corpse and met their panicked gazes. "Sound the alarm, you're too few to make me sweat. I need all of you. Gods! Come on you fucking cowards!"
Two of the three guards charged her, one took a swing at her head with a flat blade, the sharp edge missed her by a hair's breadth as she ducked. She brought up her knee and connected with the man's groin, raising him off the ground, legs held apart, face contorted in pain. He collapsed on the ground with a squeal akin to that of a dying rabbit. The other guard put on a stance of Grind, legs parted, right foot before the left. Knees bent. He brandished his sword before him, and the guard behind him ran off to sound the alarm. Masutap smiled.
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He slept on a bed filled with whores. Talisi women with their dark skin and white hair, Remu women with their sandy peppered hair and copper skin, Binorian women with their blonde hair and pale milky skin. He was their God and they flocked to him in worship. He owned all of them, from the frailest to the most able bodied. From the smartest to the daftest. They were all his.
The Highlord of the Eastlocal observed the head of the Talisi woman resting on his thigh, her breathing was deep, her dark naked breasts rising and falling with every inhale and exhale. Five other women slept around him, each as beautiful as the last.
Of all the men in the realm, I alone am the honored one. Shama thought. He caressed his bulging belly with his pudgy fingers the size of sausages. His appearance did pass as grotesque. Bloated, balding with a cleanly shaven head, wide of girth and bow legged. Yet, no man has conquered the bodies of women as he had done. Women who lusted after tall handsome men. Women who sought capable men with astounding intelligence. They all gave in to him, none could deny him and when they did, well, there were ways to make them yield.
An orgy at noon. That was the gist of it, and another orgy before the midnight bell. Life was good, life was beautiful. Shama had thought that after the death of King Vayin Vigon in the hands of the infamous Kolotian, Ishar, that his wealth will dwindle, that his status will come down a step. That the might of Binoria will be a fickle thing after their first loss at war. But of course, this wasn't to be. The Queen, Dahli Vigon, had received the blessing of Meena, passed down from her father. As long as one with the Jojoh Meena, the blessing of Meena, still ruled, then things will stay as they've always been. Dahli had taken over, ensuring that Binoria didn't fall into anarchy, ensuring the Vigon name remained revered. The beautiful blonde haired girl was now the most potent soul upon the realm. How he longed to have her in his bed, parting those pale thighs sinuated with muscle. She'd become quite the fair lady. And her presence oozed power.
Shama wanted her but a thought kept his desires at bay. She'd frowned at him at the recent Highlords meeting with the throne. Apparently, his tastes and businesses didn't bode well with her. The selling of flesh, that is what he partook in with the zeal of a drowning man reaching for a floating oar. Importing women from all over the realm, some came willingly, others reluctantly. But in the end they all came. Their dignity thrown away for the promise of gold vigons. They filled the whore houses and men flocked to them in throngs, lining his pocket with gold vigons
It was his inventiveness that brought him to the top, the Highlord of the Eastlocal was once a position few envied. But his eye, trained in the art of commerce, enabled him to transform the east of Binoria. Creating a network that not only benefited him, but also the crown. And in so doing, despite her frowns and her reluctance to treat with him, she still couldn't voice her displeasure. Dahli needed him, she needed him for the coin necessary to maintain her position upon the crown. To line the pockets of her Legions. She needed him, and one day he will have her. No woman can deny him, and if they did, there were ways to make them give in.
Suddenly, the twin oak doors leading to his bed chambers flew open. The Captain of the Red Guard, in charge of his safety, Shang, walked in. "Highlord." He said with a bow, the women around him stirred. Outside, a bell started ringing, slowly at first then with extreme vigor. Something is wrong. Shang's obvious panic was clear to see. The opened door allowed him to see several Red guards crowded at the door.
"What is the meaning of this?" Shama asked, his beady eyes on Shang. An inhuman scream sounded somewhere within the fortress. Shama's blood chilled in his veins.
"There's an intruder." Shang said while ravaging through the clothes on the floor. He lifted a red jerkin, two sizes too large, the right size for the Highlord. He threw it at Shama and the Highlord hastened to put it on. He ignored the bewildered looks of the naked whores.
"Intruders or intruder?" Shama asked as Shang led him out of his bed chambers. Another scream sounded, closer. The guards at the door, seven of them, crested around him as Shang led the way.
"A woman, she's alone." Shang said.
Shama gripped Shang's arm, halting him. "What do you mean by this? A singular woman causing... causing... this?"
"She's..." Shang hesitated.
"Speak! You fool!"
"She seems to be inhumanly strong and fast. I only saw her fight through a blockade of my brothers, without a sword. She tore my brothersâ the Red Guards, to pieces." Shang's eyes became glazed, as if his mind was replaying the mayhem he'd bore witness to. Shama let go of his arm. The trembling was taking him again, starting at the soles of his feet, up his spine around his neck to his hands. It had been so long since he felt this, the animalistic fear confounded on the existence of an unknown, an unknown that sought to see him dead.
"Captain, what is your course of action?" Shama asked.
Shang seemed to shake himself free of his trance. "We're going to take you to the stables, get you on the fastest steed andâ" A scream echoed through the halls of the fortress of the Highlord of the Eastlocal. Checking everyone in place.
"What of provisions?"
"There's no time." Shang said. He drew a flat blade from the scabbard at his side. The Guards all around mimicked him, the rustling of steel could be heard, and there, at the Western end of the fortress, screams sounded.
Shang started a brisk walk towards the East end of the Fortress. His boots, soles lined with metal, clancked upon the ground. Shama shuffled close behind Shang, panting like a mare in heat. The Red Guards around him stole glances to their rear, sweat woven with fear formed a sleek mask upon their startled faces. And in those eyes Shama was able to weigh how dire matters were.
A shout sounded from ahead, bringing Shang to an abrupt stop. "Howâ" His words caught in his throat as a woman caked in blood and gore emerged from the bend linking the hallway they were in to another hallway that led to the stables.
She stood before them and spread out her bloody fingers at Shama. "Highlord, nice to meet you." She waved. "Say, I hear you can show a woman a good time and I'm in quite the mood for a good time tonight."
Shama trembled, the woman seemed vaguely familiar. The angles of her cheekbones , that nose, those eyes. She resembled Dahli.
"Moran and Jesul to me!" Shang commanded. Two of the guards behind Shama moved forward to flank Shang on either side. "Employ any forms, ensure I get close to her so I may employ the form of Awe."
Aweâ the grappling technique that ensured the limbs were pinned. Shama saw Shang's ploy. He needed to contain the woman so Shama could move past them and head for the stables. Shama cursed himself for the design of his fortress that allowed for only one route to the stables.
Shang, Moran and Jesul raised their broad swords. One raising it above the head in a form of Rage, the other bringing the blade level with his face in the form of Pride. Shang lowered his blade and the guards flanking him charged, he followed close behind. The woman let out a cry that could only be translated as one of glee. She charged them.
Moran brought his sword down on the woman but she slid on her knees, allowing momentum to push her beyond the reach of his blade. Jesul thrust at her, raising his right leg and angling the sword downwards at her face. But the woman dodged, spun upon the ground on the small of her back and kicked Jesul's leg from under him. Jesul fell and as he raised his head he met with the woman's fist, there was a loud crunch as his face caved in. His hand let go of the sword as his body became limp.
Shang saw the opening and dived at the woman before she could stand. The woman spread her arms wide, welcoming. Shang pounced but instead landed on the woman's upraised knees, she grabbed his leather armor by the collar and flung him behind her and onto Moran. Both of them collapsed on the ground.
She stood up and smiled at Shama.
"Who are you?" Shama asked.
"I'm Masutap, the sister of Queen Dahli." The woman answered.
"Men! Turtle formation! Swords out, save the Highlord! Move you fools!" Shang said as he picked himself up from the ground behind Masutap.
The men around Shama compacted closer. Their swords pointing at Masutap who regarded them with a smirk upon her face. They inched forward, hesitantly at first, then with confidence as they saw their Captain pick up his sword. They all came to a stand still when the eyes of the woman glowed a fierce red, as if she held the Jojoh Meena. And Shama, the Highlord of the Eastlocal, trembled before her gaze.
XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Intuition, the immediate cognition without the use of conscious rational processes. It was simple for her, she dodged the sword thrusts and swipes easily. She turned either way, always beyond reach of the blades, always within striking distance. Her strength was a thing of beauty, somehow her frail wrists held the power necessary to crush a throat and crush a throat she did. She didn't tire, she didn't require forms of combat. The power of the Goddess of Order coursed through her veins and with it came rejuvenation.
The Red Guards pounced on her, seeking to put in place the form of Awe. But their efforts were in vain, she side stepped them easily, always on her feet. She saw an opening and like a river emptying into the Rankf sea she took it, delivering a punch to the side of a Guard's chest, feeling as ribs broke and punctured the lung.
**What is the purpose of this?* The Goddess Meena spoke within her mind. An ever present being whose words sought to throw her off, to calm the tempest raging within her. Masutap didn't want calm, she wanted fire and brimstone, she wanted Binoria to burn so their precious Queen will rule nothing but ash. She decreed this with a war cry, plunging into the midst of the Red Guards. She kicked two, flinging them across the hallway. One thrust with his blade but she caught it between her arm and side, she twisted the blade free of his grasp, gripped the hilt and decapitated the man in one swift motion.
She parried a strike to her left, danced free of two thrust then brought the blade down onto a Guard's head. She felt as the blade bit bone and she wasted no time in pulling it free. **What is the purpose of this?* Meena asked once more.
Masutap took three steps back to widen her periphery. "An inferno." She said as she flexed her sword hand. Suddenly, the Guard who was definitely their Captain, reached into the mass of clustered Guards pressed to the wall, away from her. And pulled the Highlord free of the men surrounding him.
"Form a blockade!" He screamed as he tagged and pulled at the distraught Highlord, leading him towards the end of the hallway. The remaining Guards blocked her vision of them. Like a fool she'd been too enthralled by the battle, allowing the Highlord to slowly slip past her, cocooned in the safety of the Guards in their turtle formation. He was making clear his escape and somehow, this aroused her, blowing upon an ember lodged deep within her until it sparked.
**What is the purpose of this?* Like a parrot, the Goddess repeated her question.
"An inferno." Masutap answered and lunged.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
He was sweating profusely, his breath caught in his throat, causing him to choke on air. He followed Shang, feeling the Captain of the Red Guard's displeasure at his inability to keep up. They descended a flight of stairs, taking three at a time. He almost collapsed but the Captain steadied him.
"Not far now my Lord. Just at that bend before us." Shang said. They took the bend and ran clear of the fortress. The horses were just ahead, they rushed to them. Shama took delight in the open air. The stables were void of people, Shama wondered where the stable hands were. They entered the stable and Shang dragged him to the first cubicle on the right where a saddled horse stood.
Shama hastily climbed onto the saddle with the aid of the Captain. Shang placed his Highlord's feet in the stirrups and moved to flank the horse. "Lord." He said, fighting for solid ground that will enable his words to come forth easily. "It has been an honor to serve under you." Shama smiled but his smile proved too little a gesture to carry the weight or their current predicament. "Ride hard for the Capital, ensure the Queen knows of all that's gone down here. I will stay back and hold her for as long as I can." Shang concluded with a crisp salute. The Highlord nodded and with the guidance of his captain upon the horse's reins, they exited the stable "She is a good steed, see the mark of her coat? She can take you far." Shang said once free of the stables. A scream sounded from within the fortress, horrid in its guttural screech. "Go now my Lorâ" Shang's words died in his mouth as an explosion erupted at the first floor of the fortress, stone parted, breaking as easily as a clay vase, the window panels and the glass set in place erupted outwards with the stone. Three figures tumbled free of the eruption, tangled in the air, twisting with the fall. They landed, the woman on her feet, knees bent and a fist pressed to the ground, the other two guards lay insensate upon the ground, their bodies a mangled mess. Shang slapped the horse's hide and Shama took of in a gallop.
The Highlord turned back, watched as the woman rose free of the debri and charged Shang. The captain employed a form of Grind but the Highlord's view was hindered by a sharp turn around the cobblestones towards the gate of his fortress. The blood and bodies upon the ground unsettled the horse, forcing its pace to be more hurried and Shama was all the more grateful for it.
She has the Jojoh Meena! Shama thought with awe as the horse broke free of the fortress in a quick gallop that had him bouncing upon the saddle. His thighs felt the brunt force of his escape but he could do nothing but hold on for dear life. This is what I'm reduced to, at the end of the line dependency thrives, in old age your children are those you depend on. I never thought I'd come to rely on anyone throughout my life. Yet here I am, depending on a horse to save my skin. He turned his head back and heaved a sigh of relief. The fortress was dwindling within his periphery, he had made quick his escape. Shama will live to see another day. And when the sun rises and sets, I will bring judgment upon the woman whose very existence rivals my own. Masutap. I will hunt her, she will know no safety within the realm, she will never know peace or a good night's sleeâ Something unnerved him. There, at the entrance to the fortress, a figure appeared. Following the path charted by his horse. She hopes to outrun my horse? He tilted his head back and laughed. There is faith and delusion and she seems to be enamored by both. To think her capable of outrunning a horse. What a fool what aâ His thoughts halted when he turned back, his mouth dropped, his jaw hanging loose. Masutap was catching up, he did not know how but she was gaining on him. She'd been a speck in the distance, barely visible against the backdrop of the fortress. But now her features were getting more defined and her limbs, they were a blur as she pushed forward with inhuman speed.
Panic drove Shama into action, he kicked his heels at the horse's flanks. Willing it to go faster. "Run you fool! Run!" He was frothing at the mouth as the horse went downhill, cutting his view of the one in pursuit. He gripped harder at the reins and screamed, slapping the horse's neck. He looked back to see Masutap emerge upon the hill and start a quick descent after him. He thought about guiding the horse into the wilderness and thought against it seeing that a gallop won't be possible with trees in the way. His only hope was in outpacing her for surely, even one with the Jojoh Meena must tire. He hoped Masutap would relent, he hoped her bloodlust would have proved sated by the guards who'd met their end by her. He hoped that he would live to see the sun climb into the sky one more time. Darkness was setting in and suddenly thoughts of the sun and it's warmth sprouted a yearning within him that made him weep. He turned his head back, she was a hundred paces away. The horse was tiring, it's gallop lazed in vigor. This is the end then, all those afternoons spent indoors hosting orgies. I should have spent them beneath the sun, I should have spent them in the sun He looked back once more, his horse barely keeping pace. The horse threw a shoe and Shama was flung off it. He tumbled onto the ground, his weight rested upon his twisted knee, the sharp pop of the joint led him into an anguished wail. The horse screamed, its fore limbs oddly twisted. The horse thrashed upon the ground and Shama rolled away. He felt weak, he felt defeated and most of all, he felt hopeless.
He lay there, watching the sky, the moon was up, barely half of it adorned the night. He wished it had been full, all those nights when he'd regarded the sky as one would a thing of no consequence. Now he found himself wishing he'd appreciated it more. In the end regrets rule the mind, for in its dying wails no sound of gratitude can be heard.
She came and stood above him, her face blocking the view of the sky. She breathed loudly and for a moment the only sounds around them were from the injured horse and her.
"Dahli will come for you." He opined despite the throbbing pain within his twisted leg.
"Shama, darling," Masutap said as she lowered herself to lie beside him. She chuckled. "Darling, that word. The Goddess Meena loves that word. She uses it a lot. I find it distasteful yet here I am. Calling you darling."
"I have not time for pleasantries." Shama interjected. "Cut my throat and be done with it."
Masutap sighed. "That's not a creative way to kill someone you know. No, how many women have suffered pain beneath you? I have to give answer to that and that means a show. I will drag you to your fortress, there I will strip you naked and castrate you. I will feed you your cock as the women whom you took advantage of watch. Then we'll douse you in Rankf Oil and set you alight."
Shama started weeping. And a new voice joined the fray, he wept, she heaved and the horse screamed.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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2024.06.07 21:41 DalinarOfRoshar When do neuorlogical symptoms merit an ER visit?
45M. I've been seeing a neurologist for over a decade. Neurology Dx: idiopathic peripheral neuropathy affecting mainly the legs, but I've started feeling the begging of numbness in my fingers. Other relevant Dxs: significant allergies (currently doing allergy shots); finished two rounds of anitbiotics for sinus infection. The sinuses were verified clear recently by CT scan. Taking Gabapentin, 1600mg daily for neuropathy. Based in USA.
Over the past few weeks I've started having pain that (according to Dr. Google) seems to match the idea of cluster headaches, but they don't seem to be lasting as long as a cluster headache. So, I'm getting shooting stabbing pain in my right eye. At first it was only triggered occasionally, often when rubbing my eye. It's gotten more frequent, and is now happening multiple times a day. Eating and yawning can trigger it. Touching can trigger it. But nothing ALWAYS triggers it, if that makes sense. The vision in my right eye seems to be mildly affected; slightly blurry after an instance, but that side of my face has a dull ache that persists for more than an hour after an instance. Now that it is happening multiple times per day, that side of my face feels that dull pain most of the time.
I know that I need to talk to a neurologist. The tricky part is that my insurance changed, and my last visit to my neurologist wasn't covered at all (out of network deductible and no contracted rate reduction), so I've been trying to get in to a new neurologist that is on my insurance. Because I have records at my primary care doc, my ENT doc, and my out-of-network neurologist doc, I'm having to get all these records/referrals in before the new neurology clinic will make an appointment.
My question is: how do I know if my issue is urgent enough to require a visit to an ER? I think the neurologist's office would be able to get me in sometime in the next couple of weeks (they confirmed that they save slots for urgent new patient appointments), BUT next Wednesday I'm leaving on a family trip out of the country that will last three weeks, which means I might not be able to get in to see the new neurologist before my trip. So I want to know when these types of symptoms (if ever) merit an ER visit, or if I am ok waiting for 3+ weeks to see a neurologist in clinic.
Other DX: ADHD, OCD, Anxiety, Depression, Severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea, bradycardia, GERD. Severely overweight (BMI 43). White/Caucasian.
All Rx: Gabapentin 1600mg; Trintellix 20mg; MyDayis 50mg; Xyxal (OTC); Buspirone 30mg; Buproprion XL 300mg; Esomeprazole 20mg; Naproxen (OTC); CPAP (I consistently use correctly)
submitted by DalinarOfRoshar to AskDocs [link] [comments]
Over the past few weeks I've started having pain that (according to Dr. Google) seems to match the idea of cluster headaches, but they don't seem to be lasting as long as a cluster headache. So, I'm getting shooting stabbing pain in my right eye. At first it was only triggered occasionally, often when rubbing my eye. It's gotten more frequent, and is now happening multiple times a day. Eating and yawning can trigger it. Touching can trigger it. But nothing ALWAYS triggers it, if that makes sense. The vision in my right eye seems to be mildly affected; slightly blurry after an instance, but that side of my face has a dull ache that persists for more than an hour after an instance. Now that it is happening multiple times per day, that side of my face feels that dull pain most of the time.
I know that I need to talk to a neurologist. The tricky part is that my insurance changed, and my last visit to my neurologist wasn't covered at all (out of network deductible and no contracted rate reduction), so I've been trying to get in to a new neurologist that is on my insurance. Because I have records at my primary care doc, my ENT doc, and my out-of-network neurologist doc, I'm having to get all these records/referrals in before the new neurology clinic will make an appointment.
My question is: how do I know if my issue is urgent enough to require a visit to an ER? I think the neurologist's office would be able to get me in sometime in the next couple of weeks (they confirmed that they save slots for urgent new patient appointments), BUT next Wednesday I'm leaving on a family trip out of the country that will last three weeks, which means I might not be able to get in to see the new neurologist before my trip. So I want to know when these types of symptoms (if ever) merit an ER visit, or if I am ok waiting for 3+ weeks to see a neurologist in clinic.
Other DX: ADHD, OCD, Anxiety, Depression, Severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea, bradycardia, GERD. Severely overweight (BMI 43). White/Caucasian.
All Rx: Gabapentin 1600mg; Trintellix 20mg; MyDayis 50mg; Xyxal (OTC); Buspirone 30mg; Buproprion XL 300mg; Esomeprazole 20mg; Naproxen (OTC); CPAP (I consistently use correctly)
2024.06.07 21:40 JiggingSpoon How USA Hockey hopes to dramatically change the way goalies are developed
Hopefully the link isnât paywalled:
https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/5537860/2024/06/06/usa-hockey-goalies-development/
Good for USA hockey to collectively take steps to create a better development model for goaltending. Being from Canada Iâm patiently waiting for Hockey Canadaâs approach on creating a model that helps a goaltender develop without having to spend hundreds/thousands of dollars a year on top of gear and registration fees.
Edit: it is paywalled.
Hereâs the text:
ST. PAUL, Minn. â Many of the best minds in goaltending converged in the state of hockey last week with one purpose in mind: Building better American goalies.
The first ever USA Hockey Goaltending Symposium was held next to Xcel Energy Center from May 30 to June 2. Former American greats Mike Richter and Ryan Miller took the stage, along with NHL and Division I college goalie coaches, and experts in several fields of youth development.
They presented for four days to a room full of coaches of all levels from around the country, with the hope that they will return to their rinks better equipped to develop young goalies and continue the incredible momentum the U.S. is currently riding in net.
U.S. goaltending is in the best place it has ever been. The NHL is filled with elite American netminders, including Connor Hellebuyck, Thatcher Demko, Jeremy Swayman, Jake Oettinger and John Gibson. Thereâs an equally impressive crop of younger goalies waiting for a turn, such as Dustin Wolf, Trey Augustine and Drew Commesso.
Still, USA Hockey director of goalie development Steve Thompson and his team arenât resting on that. Thompson put together the goalie symposium in an attempt to improve the countryâs goaltending model by creating more touch points with coaches, and encouraging coaches to alter practices to better simulate game situations. Itâs all part of an attempt to attract more, and better, athletes to the goalie talent pool, from youth hockey up.
âIâm hoping that everybody here is inspired and moving toward what the future of the position will look like, and Iâm hoping itâs somewhat dramatically different than the way itâs always been done,â Thompson told The Athletic.
Goalies have always developed slower than their forward and defensive counterparts. Skaters regularly make the leap to NHL action at 20 or 21 years old. Some exceptional prospects â such as Connor Bedard â start as early as 18, but the average age of rookie goalies in the NHL is 24.3 years old.
The slower development path has long been attributed to the nature of the position. Goaltending relies more on the mental side of the game, reading and anticipating plays, so it makes sense that experience is more valuable, but Thompson believes it could be a product of the way the position is being coached from a young age.
Think about what a practice looks like for a child playing forward or defense, compared to goalie. The skaters take their turn in a drill, then skate to the back of the line and have significant time before their next rep to reflect on the last one. What did they do right? What could they do better next time? The coach also has the opportunity to share information for improvement.
Meanwhile, the goalie faces shot after shot with very little instruction between. At times, it feels like theyâre just trying to survive a practice rather than improve aspects of their game.
âThose are millions of touch points over a youth career that our goalies just generally donât have access to,â Thompson explained. âYou might have someone barking at you from the corner but you canât hear them, and you certainly canât focus on stopping a puck, and trying to listen and modify your game. Itâs a really bad learning environment.â
Games are no different. Skaters take their shifts, regularly coming to the bench to receive advice from the coaches and more importantly â engage in self reflection of their play. Goalies often feel like theyâre on an island, playing every minute of every game and facing more stress â physically, mentally and emotionally â than the skaters.
âI think itâs really a byproduct of a lack of coaching, that in my opinion leads to goaltenders developing later,â Thompson said. âI really think we can get a lot more touch points in a youth athleteâs career by changing the way weâve always done things.â
How do you generate more touch points for young netminders? The people at USA Hockey believe a three-goalie system on most teams would significantly improve the development path.
âEven though there are two nets, we can manage three goalies because the most important thing is the development,â said John Vanbiesbrouck, who played 20 seasons in the NHL, won the Vezina Trophy in 1986 and is currently the assistant executive director of hockey operations for USA Hockey. âItâs not about the games played, itâs how you develop as a young athlete, learning the position. We need to protect our goalies. They need to know they have time to breathe, regroup and reset.â
The program has already taken actionable steps with the U.S. National Team Development Program (USNTDP), which recently started using three goalies.
âWe approached those conversations based on science â the demands on the body and the brain,â said national goaltending coach David Lassonde. âWe started putting sensors on our players, and we soon realized that what we were asking our goalies to do on a daily basis was not necessarily healthy for them.â
Goalie coaches and experts met in Minnesota to discuss the future of the position. (Justin Felisko / USA Hockey) More goalies on the ice equals more time between reps for reflection and rest. Not only can it have a positive effect on their skill development, but it could also help them remain healthier in the future. Another major topic at this weekâs symposium was the increase in hip and groin injuries for goalies at all levels, due to the physical demands of the modern goaltending style.
A recent study in Sweden by Tobias Wörner showed that of the 101 goalies studied, 69 percent experienced hip or groin issues during the season and 36 percent missed time on the ice as a result. Of the issues, 80 percent were due to overuse. Hockey could eventually follow the path of youth baseball, which started restricting pitches thrown by young pitchers to prevent long-term arm injuries.
Over four days in St. Paul, several presenters showed interesting ways to potentially improve the way goalies practice in the U.S.
Steve Brochu, coach for the XTX Storm girls hockey program in Sugar Land, Texas, showed, through manually-tracked shot data at youth hockey practices, that the types of shots goalies are facing in practice arenât remotely similar to the ones faced in games. Using data, he demonstrated that by varying the shot location and types â rather than allowing players to skate in unopposed and blast slap shots at the goalie â there could be major improvements not just to the goaltending, but the shooters as well.
Rick Murray, a goalie development coordinator for the Southeast District of USA Hockey and professor at Hendrix College, showed the potential benefits of using smaller nets at younger age groups. Murray helped institute a rule for the Southern Amateur Hockey Association â which covers youth hockey leagues in Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi and Tennessee â to use nets that are 36 inches tall and 54 inches wide for 10U hockey.
Asking young goalies to guard smaller nets â as opposed to the standard 48-by-72-inch nets â resulted in movements closer to those of a bigger, older goalie, rather than sprawling across the ice in desperation on every save. It could have physical and technical benefits to goalie development, and challenges young shooters to read plays and score in more realistic ways rather than keeping their head down and firing pucks at the top half of a net that towers over young goalies.
All of these are potential improvements wonât be possible, though, without more goalie participation across the country. Using three goalies in practice may be a good concept, but most youth teams are struggling to find even two at this point. No topic dominated the conversation across all four days more than getting more goalies in net.
Only four percent of the players currently registered to USA Hockey are goalies. For context, 10 percent would equal two goalies for every 20-player roster, so the overall numbers suggest there are fewer than two goalies per team at the moment. Several presentations proposed solutions such as âtry goalie for freeâ events and financial discounts for parents if their child plays goalie, but Thompson believes the biggest hurdle is removing a harmful stigma from the position.
âItâs the âGoldberg effect,ââ he said, referring to the initial âThe Mighty Ducksâ movie. âThe narrative has always been that the goalie is the weird kid, the kid thatâs not as athletic. Itâs not that superstar athlete. The position has such an importance on the game, no different from the quarterback or the pitcher, and yet those positions are celebrated as the person thatâs going to help this team win. In hockey, we know itâs true, the statistics always show us that the goalie is probably the most pivotal person on the ice to determine wins and losses.
âThatâs where I think the Scandinavian countries have had an edge on us. When I spent time over there, it was an honor to be the goalie. You had to earn the opportunity to be the goalie. Theyâve created this pedestal that the goalie is on, and you really want to become that person. I think here we run from it, unless you somehow convince your parents otherwise.â
Coaches from all levels told stories at the symposium of parents not wanting â or allowing â their children to play goalie. The cost of equipment used to be the biggest factor, but with the increase in the price of sticks â and how quickly they break â has nearly eliminated that aspect.
âI think weâre set in our old ways a little bit, when sticks were three bucks and it was a wooden stick you just grabbed out of a trash can,â Thompson said. âWhen sticks are going for $300 or $400 a pop, and you buy three or four a year, thatâs the price of a set of leg pads.â
Now, coaches believe the stigma has far more to do with the position itself. Goalies face more pressure, and more blame when the team loses. Thompson believes that if coaches can change the conversation around goaltending, it will lead to not only more goalies, but better athletes playing the position from a young age.
âWe need to inspire people that love to embrace pressure, those that want to be leaders, those that want to be different from the rest of the group, come and play this awesome position,â he said. âIt will set you up for life away from the rink, if you embrace that challenge and donât see stress as pressure, but as an opportunity.â
Overall it was an exciting weekend for the future of the position, filled with stimulating ideas to not only continue Americaâs success in net, but dominate even further moving forward.
submitted by JiggingSpoon to hockeygoalies [link] [comments]
https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/5537860/2024/06/06/usa-hockey-goalies-development/
Good for USA hockey to collectively take steps to create a better development model for goaltending. Being from Canada Iâm patiently waiting for Hockey Canadaâs approach on creating a model that helps a goaltender develop without having to spend hundreds/thousands of dollars a year on top of gear and registration fees.
Edit: it is paywalled.
Hereâs the text:
ST. PAUL, Minn. â Many of the best minds in goaltending converged in the state of hockey last week with one purpose in mind: Building better American goalies.
The first ever USA Hockey Goaltending Symposium was held next to Xcel Energy Center from May 30 to June 2. Former American greats Mike Richter and Ryan Miller took the stage, along with NHL and Division I college goalie coaches, and experts in several fields of youth development.
They presented for four days to a room full of coaches of all levels from around the country, with the hope that they will return to their rinks better equipped to develop young goalies and continue the incredible momentum the U.S. is currently riding in net.
U.S. goaltending is in the best place it has ever been. The NHL is filled with elite American netminders, including Connor Hellebuyck, Thatcher Demko, Jeremy Swayman, Jake Oettinger and John Gibson. Thereâs an equally impressive crop of younger goalies waiting for a turn, such as Dustin Wolf, Trey Augustine and Drew Commesso.
Still, USA Hockey director of goalie development Steve Thompson and his team arenât resting on that. Thompson put together the goalie symposium in an attempt to improve the countryâs goaltending model by creating more touch points with coaches, and encouraging coaches to alter practices to better simulate game situations. Itâs all part of an attempt to attract more, and better, athletes to the goalie talent pool, from youth hockey up.
âIâm hoping that everybody here is inspired and moving toward what the future of the position will look like, and Iâm hoping itâs somewhat dramatically different than the way itâs always been done,â Thompson told The Athletic.
Goalies have always developed slower than their forward and defensive counterparts. Skaters regularly make the leap to NHL action at 20 or 21 years old. Some exceptional prospects â such as Connor Bedard â start as early as 18, but the average age of rookie goalies in the NHL is 24.3 years old.
The slower development path has long been attributed to the nature of the position. Goaltending relies more on the mental side of the game, reading and anticipating plays, so it makes sense that experience is more valuable, but Thompson believes it could be a product of the way the position is being coached from a young age.
Think about what a practice looks like for a child playing forward or defense, compared to goalie. The skaters take their turn in a drill, then skate to the back of the line and have significant time before their next rep to reflect on the last one. What did they do right? What could they do better next time? The coach also has the opportunity to share information for improvement.
Meanwhile, the goalie faces shot after shot with very little instruction between. At times, it feels like theyâre just trying to survive a practice rather than improve aspects of their game.
âThose are millions of touch points over a youth career that our goalies just generally donât have access to,â Thompson explained. âYou might have someone barking at you from the corner but you canât hear them, and you certainly canât focus on stopping a puck, and trying to listen and modify your game. Itâs a really bad learning environment.â
Games are no different. Skaters take their shifts, regularly coming to the bench to receive advice from the coaches and more importantly â engage in self reflection of their play. Goalies often feel like theyâre on an island, playing every minute of every game and facing more stress â physically, mentally and emotionally â than the skaters.
âI think itâs really a byproduct of a lack of coaching, that in my opinion leads to goaltenders developing later,â Thompson said. âI really think we can get a lot more touch points in a youth athleteâs career by changing the way weâve always done things.â
How do you generate more touch points for young netminders? The people at USA Hockey believe a three-goalie system on most teams would significantly improve the development path.
âEven though there are two nets, we can manage three goalies because the most important thing is the development,â said John Vanbiesbrouck, who played 20 seasons in the NHL, won the Vezina Trophy in 1986 and is currently the assistant executive director of hockey operations for USA Hockey. âItâs not about the games played, itâs how you develop as a young athlete, learning the position. We need to protect our goalies. They need to know they have time to breathe, regroup and reset.â
The program has already taken actionable steps with the U.S. National Team Development Program (USNTDP), which recently started using three goalies.
âWe approached those conversations based on science â the demands on the body and the brain,â said national goaltending coach David Lassonde. âWe started putting sensors on our players, and we soon realized that what we were asking our goalies to do on a daily basis was not necessarily healthy for them.â
Goalie coaches and experts met in Minnesota to discuss the future of the position. (Justin Felisko / USA Hockey) More goalies on the ice equals more time between reps for reflection and rest. Not only can it have a positive effect on their skill development, but it could also help them remain healthier in the future. Another major topic at this weekâs symposium was the increase in hip and groin injuries for goalies at all levels, due to the physical demands of the modern goaltending style.
A recent study in Sweden by Tobias Wörner showed that of the 101 goalies studied, 69 percent experienced hip or groin issues during the season and 36 percent missed time on the ice as a result. Of the issues, 80 percent were due to overuse. Hockey could eventually follow the path of youth baseball, which started restricting pitches thrown by young pitchers to prevent long-term arm injuries.
Over four days in St. Paul, several presenters showed interesting ways to potentially improve the way goalies practice in the U.S.
Steve Brochu, coach for the XTX Storm girls hockey program in Sugar Land, Texas, showed, through manually-tracked shot data at youth hockey practices, that the types of shots goalies are facing in practice arenât remotely similar to the ones faced in games. Using data, he demonstrated that by varying the shot location and types â rather than allowing players to skate in unopposed and blast slap shots at the goalie â there could be major improvements not just to the goaltending, but the shooters as well.
Rick Murray, a goalie development coordinator for the Southeast District of USA Hockey and professor at Hendrix College, showed the potential benefits of using smaller nets at younger age groups. Murray helped institute a rule for the Southern Amateur Hockey Association â which covers youth hockey leagues in Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi and Tennessee â to use nets that are 36 inches tall and 54 inches wide for 10U hockey.
Asking young goalies to guard smaller nets â as opposed to the standard 48-by-72-inch nets â resulted in movements closer to those of a bigger, older goalie, rather than sprawling across the ice in desperation on every save. It could have physical and technical benefits to goalie development, and challenges young shooters to read plays and score in more realistic ways rather than keeping their head down and firing pucks at the top half of a net that towers over young goalies.
All of these are potential improvements wonât be possible, though, without more goalie participation across the country. Using three goalies in practice may be a good concept, but most youth teams are struggling to find even two at this point. No topic dominated the conversation across all four days more than getting more goalies in net.
Only four percent of the players currently registered to USA Hockey are goalies. For context, 10 percent would equal two goalies for every 20-player roster, so the overall numbers suggest there are fewer than two goalies per team at the moment. Several presentations proposed solutions such as âtry goalie for freeâ events and financial discounts for parents if their child plays goalie, but Thompson believes the biggest hurdle is removing a harmful stigma from the position.
âItâs the âGoldberg effect,ââ he said, referring to the initial âThe Mighty Ducksâ movie. âThe narrative has always been that the goalie is the weird kid, the kid thatâs not as athletic. Itâs not that superstar athlete. The position has such an importance on the game, no different from the quarterback or the pitcher, and yet those positions are celebrated as the person thatâs going to help this team win. In hockey, we know itâs true, the statistics always show us that the goalie is probably the most pivotal person on the ice to determine wins and losses.
âThatâs where I think the Scandinavian countries have had an edge on us. When I spent time over there, it was an honor to be the goalie. You had to earn the opportunity to be the goalie. Theyâve created this pedestal that the goalie is on, and you really want to become that person. I think here we run from it, unless you somehow convince your parents otherwise.â
Coaches from all levels told stories at the symposium of parents not wanting â or allowing â their children to play goalie. The cost of equipment used to be the biggest factor, but with the increase in the price of sticks â and how quickly they break â has nearly eliminated that aspect.
âI think weâre set in our old ways a little bit, when sticks were three bucks and it was a wooden stick you just grabbed out of a trash can,â Thompson said. âWhen sticks are going for $300 or $400 a pop, and you buy three or four a year, thatâs the price of a set of leg pads.â
Now, coaches believe the stigma has far more to do with the position itself. Goalies face more pressure, and more blame when the team loses. Thompson believes that if coaches can change the conversation around goaltending, it will lead to not only more goalies, but better athletes playing the position from a young age.
âWe need to inspire people that love to embrace pressure, those that want to be leaders, those that want to be different from the rest of the group, come and play this awesome position,â he said. âIt will set you up for life away from the rink, if you embrace that challenge and donât see stress as pressure, but as an opportunity.â
Overall it was an exciting weekend for the future of the position, filled with stimulating ideas to not only continue Americaâs success in net, but dominate even further moving forward.
2024.06.07 21:37 Pranaypawar67 Hair Transplant by Dr. Bhavesh Gupta, Navi Mumbai
 | For anyone considering a hair transplant, I understand that there is a lot of apprehension involved in such a decision. submitted by Pranaypawar67 to HairTransplants [link] [comments] Hence, I wanted to share my experience with Dr Bhavesh Gupta from Navi Mumbai. After struggling with baldness I decided to take the plunge and get a hair transplant at age 52. I did months of my research on YouTube and Google Reviews before opting for Hair Transplant at Clinique Internationale. During consultation, Dr. Gupta examined my hair loss pattern and we discussed all the options in depth, eventually decided for 3800 grafts. On the day of the operation, I was warmly greeted by Dr. Bhavesh and the professional staff. Dr. Bhavesh was incredibly reassuring. The surgical process started with Dr. Bhavesh marking the spots. The procedure was also handled by the technicians, but Dr. Bhavesh was in and out several times to ensure everything progressed smoothly. The procedure was completely painless and the team made me comfortable all this while. I did experience pain in my doner area for 2-3 weeks but it was manageable. In the end, I am quite content with the end results I got. The professionalism of the doctor and the staff was really the icing on the cake. Grateful to Clinique Internationale and Dr. Bhavesh Gupta for these results. The Link to their Youtube Channel is https://www.youtube.com/@CliniqueHairSciencesofficial What you see in the pictures is the results post 6 months of the procedure. https://preview.redd.it/dbepwdloc75d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=6e652701894a51f7939a0c659dd809398e79cc7f |
2024.06.07 21:34 monkeybuckets My life fell apart last year and I can't get it back on track
First, I want to apologize in advance for the long post.
I guess I'll start by giving some background information. I'm in my early thirties, female, living in the southern USA. Minimum wage is $7.25 per hour. I've never been a financially "successful" person, but since I entered the work force after receiving a Bachelor's degree in art, I've always gotten by. I've mostly worked 1-2 year stints in various childcare positions, making just enough money to afford rent in a one bedroom apartment with my cat. I never had more than the bare minimum health insurance, so it's definitely the case that I've neglected my medical care. I could never get the time off work anyway, because taking off meant not making enough money for rent.
Unfortunately, the consequences of living this lifestyle is that now I'm in my thirties, have practically no savings, have several genetic health problems, and I'm having trouble finding a job. The employment I do get offered isn't enough to cover rent (after hidden fees, cheapest rent is almost $1300 even for a studio apartment), and it's all physically tedious work that exacerbates my conditions. I can't help but blame myself for getting a degree in art for my current predicament, but I also can't afford to go back to school for a degree in something else.
I got out of a 2.5 year relationship with someone who turned out to be lying to me about everything the entire time were dating, and I recently had to move back in with my mother, and we don't get along. My mother was abusive to me in childhood, putting me in the position of parenting my siblings, and threatening me that if I left to go to college, she'd burn the house down with the family pets inside and kill herself. I told myself I'd never come back, but here I am. It's making me feel incredibly depressed and hopeless.
I honestly don't know where to go from here. I've tried applying to literally hundreds of jobs as a receptionist, medical scribe, office assistant, bank teller, tutor, nanny, daycare provider, museum guide, data entry clerk, cashier at places where sitting is allowed, everything I can think of that won't break my already failing body, and I get nothing in response. I've even lowered my financial expectations. Where I was once making $21 an hour, I'm now getting turned down for positions that pay $11.
I tried working at a grocery store for a couple of months, but I had to stand the entire 8 hours a day and do a lot of heavy lifting, and it got to where I was in so much constant pain that I couldn't get myself to the bathroom in the middle of the night and wet the bed instead. Just in literal constant agony. I wanted to die. I was so incredibly angry at my body.
Does anybody have advice for how I can get myself out of this rut? How to make the job hunt easier? What to put on a resume to make employers take a second look? I'd like to add that I am an extremely hard worker, despite what my brief tenure at the grocery store position implies. I show up on time, I do my own duties without arguing, and make sure to help my coworkers with their own work wherever I can. I feel like if I could just get my foot in the door with one of these jobs where I don't have to do physical labor, I could excel, but I just haven't gotten the opportunity.
submitted by monkeybuckets to LifeAdvice [link] [comments]
I guess I'll start by giving some background information. I'm in my early thirties, female, living in the southern USA. Minimum wage is $7.25 per hour. I've never been a financially "successful" person, but since I entered the work force after receiving a Bachelor's degree in art, I've always gotten by. I've mostly worked 1-2 year stints in various childcare positions, making just enough money to afford rent in a one bedroom apartment with my cat. I never had more than the bare minimum health insurance, so it's definitely the case that I've neglected my medical care. I could never get the time off work anyway, because taking off meant not making enough money for rent.
Unfortunately, the consequences of living this lifestyle is that now I'm in my thirties, have practically no savings, have several genetic health problems, and I'm having trouble finding a job. The employment I do get offered isn't enough to cover rent (after hidden fees, cheapest rent is almost $1300 even for a studio apartment), and it's all physically tedious work that exacerbates my conditions. I can't help but blame myself for getting a degree in art for my current predicament, but I also can't afford to go back to school for a degree in something else.
I got out of a 2.5 year relationship with someone who turned out to be lying to me about everything the entire time were dating, and I recently had to move back in with my mother, and we don't get along. My mother was abusive to me in childhood, putting me in the position of parenting my siblings, and threatening me that if I left to go to college, she'd burn the house down with the family pets inside and kill herself. I told myself I'd never come back, but here I am. It's making me feel incredibly depressed and hopeless.
I honestly don't know where to go from here. I've tried applying to literally hundreds of jobs as a receptionist, medical scribe, office assistant, bank teller, tutor, nanny, daycare provider, museum guide, data entry clerk, cashier at places where sitting is allowed, everything I can think of that won't break my already failing body, and I get nothing in response. I've even lowered my financial expectations. Where I was once making $21 an hour, I'm now getting turned down for positions that pay $11.
I tried working at a grocery store for a couple of months, but I had to stand the entire 8 hours a day and do a lot of heavy lifting, and it got to where I was in so much constant pain that I couldn't get myself to the bathroom in the middle of the night and wet the bed instead. Just in literal constant agony. I wanted to die. I was so incredibly angry at my body.
Does anybody have advice for how I can get myself out of this rut? How to make the job hunt easier? What to put on a resume to make employers take a second look? I'd like to add that I am an extremely hard worker, despite what my brief tenure at the grocery store position implies. I show up on time, I do my own duties without arguing, and make sure to help my coworkers with their own work wherever I can. I feel like if I could just get my foot in the door with one of these jobs where I don't have to do physical labor, I could excel, but I just haven't gotten the opportunity.
2024.06.07 21:34 HexKm Troubleshooters, (1/2) (Legacy Universe)
âThis geriatric bunch in cold sleep?â
âAffirmative. But their records show that they have been in cold sleep multiple times. They should respond quickly to the resuscitation procedure.â
âBut, why? Wouldnât it be more merciful to leave them in stasis while the Jaxorians intercept us?â
âYes, but Allyson says that these individuals are the ones who might get us out of this situation.â
âThe Terran engineer? Youâre trusting her?â
âIn a zero-sum analysis, her suggestions have net positive outcomes.â
âJust for the record, I think this is a bad idea.â A pause. âResuscitation sequence activated.â
âDuly noted. Alert me when they are awake.â
-=-=-=-=-=-
William Exeter hated the feeling of coming to after cold sleep. While the modern systems were better than those he first encountered, he still felt like his muscles were infused with lead and that he was suffering from a hangover that he never got the enjoyment of deserving. But hopefully this would be one of the last times he would ever have to use the procedure, and he could finally settle down.
As the capsuleâs lid slid back, harsh light assaulted Williamâs eyes, and he squinted in an attempt to lessen the pain. The silhouette of a triangular head above him let William know that a Dravitian was checking on him. He swallowed and got his voice working so he could croak out, âIâm up, Iâm up.â
âAh, Mr. Exeter, yes? I amâŠâ The insectoid started to come into better view to the Terranâs adjusting eyes. âCaptain? Yes, Captain of this ship. I am⊠We all are in need of assistance.â
âUh, what?â Williamâs croaking voice hid some of his annoyance. âYeah, Iâm Exeter. But if youâre going to get my help, youâre going to have to get me a Jolt. Iâm still half asleep from the drugs.â
The Dravitianâs head tilted to the side in an obvious gesture of confusion, âYou require an electrical discharge?â
And this was why William hated waking up among aliens. He had to explain everything to them. âA drink. âAll the sugar and twice the caffeine.â Bah!â He started to force his muscles into action and pushed up on his elbows, âJust get me a goddamned stimulant, okay?â
âOh, yes. Yes. Of course!â The Dravitianâs head disappeared as the insectoid moved over to a wall-mounted workstation.
William turned his head and saw several other cold-sleep capsules with their lids open. He cleared his throat and then called out, âVenture crew, sound off...â
âHere!â
I hear you, Bill.â
From a nearby capsule there was a dry coughing, but a hand in a âthumbs-upâ gesture rose in response.
âWell, good, I wonât have to suffer alone.â William turned his head again and looked over the other closed capsules, âBut they didnât wake everyone, so somethingâs up. Try to shake this shit off and get ready, okay?â
There were murmurs of ascent and more dry coughs from the other capsules.
The Dravitian come back from the workspace and addressed William, âStimulant beverages and some cakes are on their way, Mr. Exeter. While I know that you are still under the effects of the stasis pharmaceuticals, I do need to apprise you of our need. You know of the Jaxorians, yes?â
Williamâs brow furrowed, âWhat, those crab-guys who go around in those water-suits? Didnât we beat them in that big war?â
The Dravitian pulled back a little, âIt was a negotiated settlement, I believe, but yes, your descriptive words adequately fit the Jaxorian physiology.â He paused, âWell, the Jaxorians, and their rulers the Drasalites, are once again at war, and we are now targets. I would not have woken you , but our Terran engineer was sure that you could help.â
William frowned and shook his head, âWe should have finished them once and for all when we had the chance, but we have to let the Soviets fail as Soviets, donât we?â He sighed, âAnd weâre humans, dammit. Homo sapiens sapiens by fuckinâ scientific classification. We once lived on Terra, but our genus and species doesnât change when we move to another-â He noticed the paling colors on the edges of the Captainâs chitinous facial plates and stopped his Duckman-esque rant, âLook, nevermind. How much time do we have?â
The insectoid paused, as if surprised be the direct question. âWe estimate a cycle, if our engineerâs modifications to the engines hold. Our speed has been dramatically increased, but the Jaxorian ships still gain slowly. We will eventually be within the effective range of their weapons. Please, direct us.â
-=-=-=-=-=-
After some of the greasy-spoon diner-ish coffee and the supermarket quality yeast-raised, honey-glazed donuts, the four Terrans looked and felt better. William glanced at his colleagues, noting the wear of time on their bodies. He chuckled as the slightly altered movie quote of âItâs not the years, itâs the light-yearsâ ran through his mind. But theyâd been together âasleepâ much longer than theyâd been awake, and theyâd spent more of their âawakeâ lives together than apart.
Tony Scarpettiâs pudgy fingers tipped his cup almost upside down as he tried to get the last drops of the coffee and granulated sugar sludge into his mouth. His once black hair was now mostly white, and his tough physique that ran circles around them on the soccer field had shrunk a bit, though he was still stocky.
Peter Hoffman had finally gotten control of his coughing, and was munching on âjust one moreâ donut, and William once again wondered where Peter fit all the food he ate in that short, diminutive frame. His signature mohawk had been fluffed up with fingers, but lacking styling gel and a razor to clean up the stubble that had grown out in cold sleep, it ended up looking more like a peaked mound than the sharp style that Peter would have usually rocked.
Alex (AJ) Johnsonâs hair had finally receded so much that his braid only held back reddish hair from behind his ears, though his scraggly beard was long enough that he could probably have braided it as well. Always tall and gangly, his frame seemed a little more gaunt than William remembered, though it had been almost a decade of cold-sleep travel since they had last seen each other.
âHey, Doctor Exeter?â
William turned his head toward the voice, and looked at the young woman with blonde hair striding toward the table where the four sat around their coffee and donuts. Her utilitarian grey coveralls had scorch-marks and grime all over, and there was some of the same on her exposed hands and face, but bright teeth were visible in her smile.
William nodded, âYou must be the plucky human engineer who got us woken up before our alarm went off, huh?â
The woman nodded, still smiling widely and, as she got over to the table, thrust out her hand toward William in the manner of one who just remembered something. âYeah, sorry about that, Doctor. Iâm Allyson, and Iâm the only Terran on the ship. Besides you guys, that is.â
William took the extended hand and shook it, being a little more gentle than he usually would have been, given the way that the womanâs grip and lack of fluid motion showed that she wasnât experienced in shaking hands as a greeting ritual. But she had looked it up, and that counted for something. âWell, us humans have to stick together, right? You sure you want us geezers to help you out? Donât you have some flashy alien tech to get away from these crab guys?â
Allyson grinned as the handshake seemed to go correctly and shook her head, âWell, if you had been four guys who werenât from the Space Venture, I would have let you sleep and hoped that I could come up with some way to escape, but well⊠you are, and wellâŠâ She looked at the men around the table, âYou guys solve problems, right?â
âTroubleshoot.â AJ corrected, his voice still a little rough. âWeâre Troubleshooters. So weâre likely to be able to fix problems on the ship, but not necessarily the situation. It gives us an out on some problemsâŠâ
Allysonâs brow furrowed, but before she could say anything, William offered, âBut weâll try and get you out of this alive, okay?â He looked over toward AJ, âNo need to haze the newb, âkay?â
AJ chuckled and nodded, going for another sip of his coffee.
Allyson looked between the two old men and shook her head. Werenât these guys the stuff of legends? Why didnât they act like it? But they were what she had. What the whole ship had. Oh, the ship, right. âAnd we donât really have any xenotech. This is an old decommissioned TA vessel, a combat freighter, so itâs kind of structurally overbuilt for a freighter. It was the TAV Thuban, but after being bought up by a Dravitian company itâs now the CCV Kâgara Bârak. That translates to something like âUgly Worker Beetleâ.â
William raised an eyebrow, âI thought those bugs didnât like old ships?â
Allyson grinned, âThey couldnât build a new ship to these durability specs at anywhere near the sale price. I think that it vexes the Captain to no end.â
Tony finally set his cup down on the table, finished fighting with the sludge, and looked at at the woman with a playful grin, âLikely to be really upset once we get going, thenâŠâ
William grinned as well, âWell, weâll get there as we get there. So, is Skynet running things here?â
The engineer blinked and cocked her head a little in her confusion, âSkynet? UmâŠâ Her words trailed off as she tried to decipher the meaning.
William sighed, âArtificial intelligence. Is there one running the ship?â
Allyson shook off her confusion, âOh, uh, no. Of course there are still core hook-ups, but the company didnât recruit one. There are some smart systems, but they donât come up to AI levels.â
William nodded, slowly and resignedly. He looked at the other older men, âOkay, so I guess Iâll be spending my time hacking while you guys get to have some actual fun.â He looked back to the engineer and started to get up out of his chair, feeling the ache in his lower back. âWell, letâs get me to a terminal, and rummage up some walkies so we can keep in contact.â
-=-=-=-=-=-
William glowered at the large touchscreen that sat angled on its adjustable armature, and muttered, âWhat fresh hell is this operating system?â
The Dravitian Captain at the nearby navigation station on the shipâs bridge looked over, âSir, this is the newest release of the Efficient Interface. While you are viewing it in Terran Standard, it is optimized for the Dravitian language.â
William shook his head, âSo other than these cosmetic changes that I can get to in settings, where can I actually get to control configurations?â
The Captain pulled back its head in surprise, âWhat? You canât change the control configurations! They are all optimized!â
William sighed and shook his head, âYou jammed the âeconomyâ button down, so we canât get to the âpowerâ button. RightâŠâ He tapped open the program that accessed the file storage and began examining what was there.
After a few minutes of the bridge crew watching the Terran scroll and tap and curse in a low voice, William let out a exuberant, âGot you, you bastard!â On the touchscreen, a simple text box came up, indicating that it was a Root Command Shell, with a blinking block cursor.
Williamâs fingers flew over the virtual keyboard on the angled touchscreen, and another window bloomed on the screen. He slid it off to the side, then continued to tap and another window popped up. He slid it off to the top corner of the screen. In each of the windows, progress bars slid slowly from one side to another, character strings rolling down past the bottom of the window, the screen indicator on the scroll bar on the side getting smaller and smaller as the list grew and grew.
The Captain leaned over from its workstation and observed the workings on the Terranâs screen, âWhat is all that? Iâve never seen this option in the interface.â
William chuckled, still typing commands in the first window, âOh, itâs a command line interface. They just slapped your interface over the military OS, and that still had lots of useful modules and programs in archive. I can bypass the âprettyâ GUI you guys use and actually get to controls.â He paused, âHoly hell! They left a media archive in here. Letâs get that unpacked right now!â
A new window popped up on the touchscreen, with another progress bar. William brought up yet another window, and worked inside it, and the progress bars started to move across their respective windows faster.
The Captain cocked its head, âSir, I find fault in your judgement that what we need in this situation is media. The Jaxorians are not known for their imaginative capabilities.â It paused, âAnd I think your tasks are slowing down the computational processors, which again, I find fault with in these circumstances.â
William chuckled, âWell, sure it will seem slower. I made all my operations high priorities for the processors. And you canât expect us to do our best work in silence. Weâll need a good jam.â
-=-=-=-=-=-
Allyson led the three older men through the hatch into the huge engineering bay where the three reactors were lined up with the longitudinal axis of the ship. Aft of those, the floor fell away beyond a safety railing, so that the bulk of the four huge engines could be accessed by a network of ladders, platforms, and gantries. Most of the floor was clear, but here and there hatches, tools, and parts lay askew on the deck, and wires and tube of various sizes and colors snaked between components in a way that belied the hasty, jury-rigged engineering tasks that had been recently undertaken. A couple of insectoid engineers were working on maintaining parts of the unstable system.
âAnd this is the playground,â offered Allyson as she spread her arms to indicate the whole open area. âWeâve got four Hammond LS-V-3400 ion drives backed by three of the Niagara-class fusion reactors. Iâve, uh, removed some of the safeties on the engines and tweaked the safety specs on the reactors, so weâre making just over five percent above rated maximum speed.â
Tony walked away from the others to lean against the safety railing and take in the sight of the engines.
Peter glanced around the area, then noticed the machining and fabrication tools and sauntered over to inspect them, hands tucked in his pockets and his boots scuffing the floor.
The two Dravitian technicians looked up from their work momentarily, apraising the Terrans, but staying quiet.
AJ made his way over to the reactors, and frowned as he looked at the readouts showing that the reactors were running hot, right on the edge of red-line. âCutting these pretty fine.â
Allyson nodded as she looked over toward the tall man and started slowly walking toward him, âUm, yeah. I couldnât figure out a good way to get more output from the engines, so I was just trying to route more power through them. These are still safe, but theyâll be burning up the plating faster than they should.â
AJ nodded and continued perusing, leaning down to look into an open hatch and seeing how one of the patched in high-energy line had been connected.
Tony continued to watch the engines and called, âHey, Allyson, these still work with Cherenkov dispersal for additional thrust?â
Allyson quickly changed her trajectory to veer away from reactors and back toward the engines, âUh, yeah, they do. There are controllers in there that help to make the emissions more directional.â She got to the railing and pointed at an orange ring that was visible on each engine right near the aft bulkhead. âThose big electromags help control the dispersal. I have plans and simulations on the computer if you want to see how they work.â
Tony peered in the indicated direction, then nodded and turned toward Allyson, âYeah, get me to a terminal with some VR goggles and Iâll take a lo-â His voice cut off at the sudden sound from the engineering bayâs speakers.
A syncopated drum beat sounded over the hum of the machinery, then came an almost gravelly yell-singing voice. âCome on, feel the noise. Girls, rock your boys. Weâll get wild, wild, wild.â
Allysonâs surprised gaze swept up to the big speakers mounted in the corners of the room by the ceiling.
Grins and smiles grew on the faces of the three older men, and they all joined in with the words as an electric guitar sawed into being and the rest of the band added their voices to the lead singer on a response answer of âWild, wild, wild!â And then the drums picked up and the rest of the instruments kicked in, bringing the song fully into swing.
The singer continued as Peterâs hands played air-drums over a CNC machineâs working space, âSo you think I got an evil mind. I tell you, honey, I donât know why. I donât know why.â
Allyson had never heard the song, but the beat was compelling, and it somehow invigorated the men in a way she hadnât expected. Just out of cold sleep, in the midst of an inevitable chase, with such limited resources, they were singing along with smiles on their faces. AJ was tapping on a reactor interface, and Peter was almost dancing as he poked about her workbench storage space, going over her tools, a screwdriver and electric ratchet stem in his hands as drumsticks for his air-drums.
The Dravitian technicians huddled in a fearful pose at the sudden noise.
Tony grinned widely at Allysonâs surprise, and said loudly over the music, âWilliamâs got good taste for montage music⊠Show me that terminal.â
-=-=-=-=-=-
The Captain looked over to the Terranâs workspace which was now exhorting somebeing to âget wild, wild, wildâ over and over again. It seemed to have some detrimental affect on the older Terran, as its head was bobbing up and down as it continued to work with the code. The insectoid in command just had to say something. âExcuse me, sir. Are you sure that the distracting audio stimulation is beneficial for you? It does not seem to be related to your current task âŠâ
William glanced over at the Dravitian, âLook, bug-boy, the music keeps my endorphins up, and tricks me into thinking I still have all the energy of a teenager. Youâre just lucky that I know what my crew likes, and that this archive is low on industrial music.â He pauses and types intensely, then continues, âSo no, itâs not related, but if you really want a chance to get away from those crab-guys, this music tips the scales in our favor, okay?â
The Captain abruptly looked back to its console. âAffirmative answer, sir.â
William nodded to himself, and cocked his head as he read something off the screen. âSo, a bunch of the cargo is plasma generators for terraforming?â He looked over to the insectoid who was pointedly not looking at him. âAre those things as dangerous as they sound?â
-=-=-=-=-=-
âHey guys!â Williamâs voice echoed from the big loudspeakers in the engineering bay as the song came to an end.
âYo boss!â Peter called up toward the ceiling from the tool bench where he had accumulated a selection of choice tools.
âI got control of the control code up here. Some of itâs military code under all this glossy shit. What have you guys got back there?â
Tony stood amidst a holographic simulation of an engine, and called out, âWe got some damped down ion engines. The design is like the old McPherson Mark Five, and I think I can flare âem up the same way. Gimme six hours or so.â
AJ looked up toward the ceiling after Tony finished, âThese fusion reactors are running flat out, Bill. Iâm thinking about patching up a capacitor bank so we can push things farther, or at least have some extra power when we need it. Three or four hours, depending on how easy I can find the parts.â he paused, âAnd Iâm officially putting in a request for you to put something dance-able on your wheel of steel.â
Peter called out, âAnd Iâm just waiting for these slackers to tell me what they need. But Iâm all tooled up for just about anything they want.â He grinned playfully at the other two.
Williamâs chuckle came over the speaker, âGotcha. Those sound like good projects. We get a powerful flare, weâve got a chance to run.â He paused, âAllyson, you there too?â
Allyson, still near the holographic engine display, had been turning her head this way and that to try and follow the conversation and understand what the forming plan of the âtroubleshootersâ was. She forced herself to call out, âYes, Dr. Exeter.â
Williamâs voice came from the speakers, âOkay, Allyson, I need you to take Pete down to Cargo Bay Three and help him uncrate all of the plasma terraforming engines you can find there. Pete, I want those things sky-side against the outer wall of Bay Two and fastened in place. If we need power for them, I want you to run a line back to AJâs source, and it will need to be vacuum sealed. Weâre likely to depressurize that bay so try not to make too many unnecessary holes, okay?â He paused, âAnd donât worry, that bay has some speakers too. I wonât leave you silent âŠâ
Peter grinned and nodded, then started to load tools onto a nearby hovercart. As he worked, he called out, âOn it, boss! Do they have any Ramones or Dead Kennedys or anything with more energy in that jukebox? Thatâs my request, Mr. DJ.â
Williamâs voice carried his chuckle, âIâm on it, guys. Iâll keep you updated, you guys let me know the word. Out.â
As the beats of New Orderâs Blue Monday started to bounce around the engineering bay, Peter looked over at Allyson, âHey, give me a hand with some of this. We need to bounce!â
Allyson registered the words and jogged across the bay to the hovercart, âSorry, sir, we have to âbounceâ?â
Peter chuckled, still pulling tools from the bench to add to the load. âWe have to get moving. Can we bring that welder and thermal lance, or is there a better option?â
Allyson let out a quiet âohâ, then shook her head, âThereâs a backpack unit that can cut and weld. Much easier to move.â She pulled open a a nearby locker.
Peter grinned, âOh, sweet! Are there two?â
submitted by HexKm to HFY [link] [comments]
âAffirmative. But their records show that they have been in cold sleep multiple times. They should respond quickly to the resuscitation procedure.â
âBut, why? Wouldnât it be more merciful to leave them in stasis while the Jaxorians intercept us?â
âYes, but Allyson says that these individuals are the ones who might get us out of this situation.â
âThe Terran engineer? Youâre trusting her?â
âIn a zero-sum analysis, her suggestions have net positive outcomes.â
âJust for the record, I think this is a bad idea.â A pause. âResuscitation sequence activated.â
âDuly noted. Alert me when they are awake.â
-=-=-=-=-=-
William Exeter hated the feeling of coming to after cold sleep. While the modern systems were better than those he first encountered, he still felt like his muscles were infused with lead and that he was suffering from a hangover that he never got the enjoyment of deserving. But hopefully this would be one of the last times he would ever have to use the procedure, and he could finally settle down.
As the capsuleâs lid slid back, harsh light assaulted Williamâs eyes, and he squinted in an attempt to lessen the pain. The silhouette of a triangular head above him let William know that a Dravitian was checking on him. He swallowed and got his voice working so he could croak out, âIâm up, Iâm up.â
âAh, Mr. Exeter, yes? I amâŠâ The insectoid started to come into better view to the Terranâs adjusting eyes. âCaptain? Yes, Captain of this ship. I am⊠We all are in need of assistance.â
âUh, what?â Williamâs croaking voice hid some of his annoyance. âYeah, Iâm Exeter. But if youâre going to get my help, youâre going to have to get me a Jolt. Iâm still half asleep from the drugs.â
The Dravitianâs head tilted to the side in an obvious gesture of confusion, âYou require an electrical discharge?â
And this was why William hated waking up among aliens. He had to explain everything to them. âA drink. âAll the sugar and twice the caffeine.â Bah!â He started to force his muscles into action and pushed up on his elbows, âJust get me a goddamned stimulant, okay?â
âOh, yes. Yes. Of course!â The Dravitianâs head disappeared as the insectoid moved over to a wall-mounted workstation.
William turned his head and saw several other cold-sleep capsules with their lids open. He cleared his throat and then called out, âVenture crew, sound off...â
âHere!â
I hear you, Bill.â
From a nearby capsule there was a dry coughing, but a hand in a âthumbs-upâ gesture rose in response.
âWell, good, I wonât have to suffer alone.â William turned his head again and looked over the other closed capsules, âBut they didnât wake everyone, so somethingâs up. Try to shake this shit off and get ready, okay?â
There were murmurs of ascent and more dry coughs from the other capsules.
The Dravitian come back from the workspace and addressed William, âStimulant beverages and some cakes are on their way, Mr. Exeter. While I know that you are still under the effects of the stasis pharmaceuticals, I do need to apprise you of our need. You know of the Jaxorians, yes?â
Williamâs brow furrowed, âWhat, those crab-guys who go around in those water-suits? Didnât we beat them in that big war?â
The Dravitian pulled back a little, âIt was a negotiated settlement, I believe, but yes, your descriptive words adequately fit the Jaxorian physiology.â He paused, âWell, the Jaxorians, and their rulers the Drasalites, are once again at war, and we are now targets. I would not have woken you , but our Terran engineer was sure that you could help.â
William frowned and shook his head, âWe should have finished them once and for all when we had the chance, but we have to let the Soviets fail as Soviets, donât we?â He sighed, âAnd weâre humans, dammit. Homo sapiens sapiens by fuckinâ scientific classification. We once lived on Terra, but our genus and species doesnât change when we move to another-â He noticed the paling colors on the edges of the Captainâs chitinous facial plates and stopped his Duckman-esque rant, âLook, nevermind. How much time do we have?â
The insectoid paused, as if surprised be the direct question. âWe estimate a cycle, if our engineerâs modifications to the engines hold. Our speed has been dramatically increased, but the Jaxorian ships still gain slowly. We will eventually be within the effective range of their weapons. Please, direct us.â
-=-=-=-=-=-
After some of the greasy-spoon diner-ish coffee and the supermarket quality yeast-raised, honey-glazed donuts, the four Terrans looked and felt better. William glanced at his colleagues, noting the wear of time on their bodies. He chuckled as the slightly altered movie quote of âItâs not the years, itâs the light-yearsâ ran through his mind. But theyâd been together âasleepâ much longer than theyâd been awake, and theyâd spent more of their âawakeâ lives together than apart.
Tony Scarpettiâs pudgy fingers tipped his cup almost upside down as he tried to get the last drops of the coffee and granulated sugar sludge into his mouth. His once black hair was now mostly white, and his tough physique that ran circles around them on the soccer field had shrunk a bit, though he was still stocky.
Peter Hoffman had finally gotten control of his coughing, and was munching on âjust one moreâ donut, and William once again wondered where Peter fit all the food he ate in that short, diminutive frame. His signature mohawk had been fluffed up with fingers, but lacking styling gel and a razor to clean up the stubble that had grown out in cold sleep, it ended up looking more like a peaked mound than the sharp style that Peter would have usually rocked.
Alex (AJ) Johnsonâs hair had finally receded so much that his braid only held back reddish hair from behind his ears, though his scraggly beard was long enough that he could probably have braided it as well. Always tall and gangly, his frame seemed a little more gaunt than William remembered, though it had been almost a decade of cold-sleep travel since they had last seen each other.
âHey, Doctor Exeter?â
William turned his head toward the voice, and looked at the young woman with blonde hair striding toward the table where the four sat around their coffee and donuts. Her utilitarian grey coveralls had scorch-marks and grime all over, and there was some of the same on her exposed hands and face, but bright teeth were visible in her smile.
William nodded, âYou must be the plucky human engineer who got us woken up before our alarm went off, huh?â
The woman nodded, still smiling widely and, as she got over to the table, thrust out her hand toward William in the manner of one who just remembered something. âYeah, sorry about that, Doctor. Iâm Allyson, and Iâm the only Terran on the ship. Besides you guys, that is.â
William took the extended hand and shook it, being a little more gentle than he usually would have been, given the way that the womanâs grip and lack of fluid motion showed that she wasnât experienced in shaking hands as a greeting ritual. But she had looked it up, and that counted for something. âWell, us humans have to stick together, right? You sure you want us geezers to help you out? Donât you have some flashy alien tech to get away from these crab guys?â
Allyson grinned as the handshake seemed to go correctly and shook her head, âWell, if you had been four guys who werenât from the Space Venture, I would have let you sleep and hoped that I could come up with some way to escape, but well⊠you are, and wellâŠâ She looked at the men around the table, âYou guys solve problems, right?â
âTroubleshoot.â AJ corrected, his voice still a little rough. âWeâre Troubleshooters. So weâre likely to be able to fix problems on the ship, but not necessarily the situation. It gives us an out on some problemsâŠâ
Allysonâs brow furrowed, but before she could say anything, William offered, âBut weâll try and get you out of this alive, okay?â He looked over toward AJ, âNo need to haze the newb, âkay?â
AJ chuckled and nodded, going for another sip of his coffee.
Allyson looked between the two old men and shook her head. Werenât these guys the stuff of legends? Why didnât they act like it? But they were what she had. What the whole ship had. Oh, the ship, right. âAnd we donât really have any xenotech. This is an old decommissioned TA vessel, a combat freighter, so itâs kind of structurally overbuilt for a freighter. It was the TAV Thuban, but after being bought up by a Dravitian company itâs now the CCV Kâgara Bârak. That translates to something like âUgly Worker Beetleâ.â
William raised an eyebrow, âI thought those bugs didnât like old ships?â
Allyson grinned, âThey couldnât build a new ship to these durability specs at anywhere near the sale price. I think that it vexes the Captain to no end.â
Tony finally set his cup down on the table, finished fighting with the sludge, and looked at at the woman with a playful grin, âLikely to be really upset once we get going, thenâŠâ
William grinned as well, âWell, weâll get there as we get there. So, is Skynet running things here?â
The engineer blinked and cocked her head a little in her confusion, âSkynet? UmâŠâ Her words trailed off as she tried to decipher the meaning.
William sighed, âArtificial intelligence. Is there one running the ship?â
Allyson shook off her confusion, âOh, uh, no. Of course there are still core hook-ups, but the company didnât recruit one. There are some smart systems, but they donât come up to AI levels.â
William nodded, slowly and resignedly. He looked at the other older men, âOkay, so I guess Iâll be spending my time hacking while you guys get to have some actual fun.â He looked back to the engineer and started to get up out of his chair, feeling the ache in his lower back. âWell, letâs get me to a terminal, and rummage up some walkies so we can keep in contact.â
-=-=-=-=-=-
William glowered at the large touchscreen that sat angled on its adjustable armature, and muttered, âWhat fresh hell is this operating system?â
The Dravitian Captain at the nearby navigation station on the shipâs bridge looked over, âSir, this is the newest release of the Efficient Interface. While you are viewing it in Terran Standard, it is optimized for the Dravitian language.â
William shook his head, âSo other than these cosmetic changes that I can get to in settings, where can I actually get to control configurations?â
The Captain pulled back its head in surprise, âWhat? You canât change the control configurations! They are all optimized!â
William sighed and shook his head, âYou jammed the âeconomyâ button down, so we canât get to the âpowerâ button. RightâŠâ He tapped open the program that accessed the file storage and began examining what was there.
After a few minutes of the bridge crew watching the Terran scroll and tap and curse in a low voice, William let out a exuberant, âGot you, you bastard!â On the touchscreen, a simple text box came up, indicating that it was a Root Command Shell, with a blinking block cursor.
Williamâs fingers flew over the virtual keyboard on the angled touchscreen, and another window bloomed on the screen. He slid it off to the side, then continued to tap and another window popped up. He slid it off to the top corner of the screen. In each of the windows, progress bars slid slowly from one side to another, character strings rolling down past the bottom of the window, the screen indicator on the scroll bar on the side getting smaller and smaller as the list grew and grew.
The Captain leaned over from its workstation and observed the workings on the Terranâs screen, âWhat is all that? Iâve never seen this option in the interface.â
William chuckled, still typing commands in the first window, âOh, itâs a command line interface. They just slapped your interface over the military OS, and that still had lots of useful modules and programs in archive. I can bypass the âprettyâ GUI you guys use and actually get to controls.â He paused, âHoly hell! They left a media archive in here. Letâs get that unpacked right now!â
A new window popped up on the touchscreen, with another progress bar. William brought up yet another window, and worked inside it, and the progress bars started to move across their respective windows faster.
The Captain cocked its head, âSir, I find fault in your judgement that what we need in this situation is media. The Jaxorians are not known for their imaginative capabilities.â It paused, âAnd I think your tasks are slowing down the computational processors, which again, I find fault with in these circumstances.â
William chuckled, âWell, sure it will seem slower. I made all my operations high priorities for the processors. And you canât expect us to do our best work in silence. Weâll need a good jam.â
-=-=-=-=-=-
Allyson led the three older men through the hatch into the huge engineering bay where the three reactors were lined up with the longitudinal axis of the ship. Aft of those, the floor fell away beyond a safety railing, so that the bulk of the four huge engines could be accessed by a network of ladders, platforms, and gantries. Most of the floor was clear, but here and there hatches, tools, and parts lay askew on the deck, and wires and tube of various sizes and colors snaked between components in a way that belied the hasty, jury-rigged engineering tasks that had been recently undertaken. A couple of insectoid engineers were working on maintaining parts of the unstable system.
âAnd this is the playground,â offered Allyson as she spread her arms to indicate the whole open area. âWeâve got four Hammond LS-V-3400 ion drives backed by three of the Niagara-class fusion reactors. Iâve, uh, removed some of the safeties on the engines and tweaked the safety specs on the reactors, so weâre making just over five percent above rated maximum speed.â
Tony walked away from the others to lean against the safety railing and take in the sight of the engines.
Peter glanced around the area, then noticed the machining and fabrication tools and sauntered over to inspect them, hands tucked in his pockets and his boots scuffing the floor.
The two Dravitian technicians looked up from their work momentarily, apraising the Terrans, but staying quiet.
AJ made his way over to the reactors, and frowned as he looked at the readouts showing that the reactors were running hot, right on the edge of red-line. âCutting these pretty fine.â
Allyson nodded as she looked over toward the tall man and started slowly walking toward him, âUm, yeah. I couldnât figure out a good way to get more output from the engines, so I was just trying to route more power through them. These are still safe, but theyâll be burning up the plating faster than they should.â
AJ nodded and continued perusing, leaning down to look into an open hatch and seeing how one of the patched in high-energy line had been connected.
Tony continued to watch the engines and called, âHey, Allyson, these still work with Cherenkov dispersal for additional thrust?â
Allyson quickly changed her trajectory to veer away from reactors and back toward the engines, âUh, yeah, they do. There are controllers in there that help to make the emissions more directional.â She got to the railing and pointed at an orange ring that was visible on each engine right near the aft bulkhead. âThose big electromags help control the dispersal. I have plans and simulations on the computer if you want to see how they work.â
Tony peered in the indicated direction, then nodded and turned toward Allyson, âYeah, get me to a terminal with some VR goggles and Iâll take a lo-â His voice cut off at the sudden sound from the engineering bayâs speakers.
A syncopated drum beat sounded over the hum of the machinery, then came an almost gravelly yell-singing voice. âCome on, feel the noise. Girls, rock your boys. Weâll get wild, wild, wild.â
Allysonâs surprised gaze swept up to the big speakers mounted in the corners of the room by the ceiling.
Grins and smiles grew on the faces of the three older men, and they all joined in with the words as an electric guitar sawed into being and the rest of the band added their voices to the lead singer on a response answer of âWild, wild, wild!â And then the drums picked up and the rest of the instruments kicked in, bringing the song fully into swing.
The singer continued as Peterâs hands played air-drums over a CNC machineâs working space, âSo you think I got an evil mind. I tell you, honey, I donât know why. I donât know why.â
Allyson had never heard the song, but the beat was compelling, and it somehow invigorated the men in a way she hadnât expected. Just out of cold sleep, in the midst of an inevitable chase, with such limited resources, they were singing along with smiles on their faces. AJ was tapping on a reactor interface, and Peter was almost dancing as he poked about her workbench storage space, going over her tools, a screwdriver and electric ratchet stem in his hands as drumsticks for his air-drums.
The Dravitian technicians huddled in a fearful pose at the sudden noise.
Tony grinned widely at Allysonâs surprise, and said loudly over the music, âWilliamâs got good taste for montage music⊠Show me that terminal.â
-=-=-=-=-=-
The Captain looked over to the Terranâs workspace which was now exhorting somebeing to âget wild, wild, wildâ over and over again. It seemed to have some detrimental affect on the older Terran, as its head was bobbing up and down as it continued to work with the code. The insectoid in command just had to say something. âExcuse me, sir. Are you sure that the distracting audio stimulation is beneficial for you? It does not seem to be related to your current task âŠâ
William glanced over at the Dravitian, âLook, bug-boy, the music keeps my endorphins up, and tricks me into thinking I still have all the energy of a teenager. Youâre just lucky that I know what my crew likes, and that this archive is low on industrial music.â He pauses and types intensely, then continues, âSo no, itâs not related, but if you really want a chance to get away from those crab-guys, this music tips the scales in our favor, okay?â
The Captain abruptly looked back to its console. âAffirmative answer, sir.â
William nodded to himself, and cocked his head as he read something off the screen. âSo, a bunch of the cargo is plasma generators for terraforming?â He looked over to the insectoid who was pointedly not looking at him. âAre those things as dangerous as they sound?â
-=-=-=-=-=-
âHey guys!â Williamâs voice echoed from the big loudspeakers in the engineering bay as the song came to an end.
âYo boss!â Peter called up toward the ceiling from the tool bench where he had accumulated a selection of choice tools.
âI got control of the control code up here. Some of itâs military code under all this glossy shit. What have you guys got back there?â
Tony stood amidst a holographic simulation of an engine, and called out, âWe got some damped down ion engines. The design is like the old McPherson Mark Five, and I think I can flare âem up the same way. Gimme six hours or so.â
AJ looked up toward the ceiling after Tony finished, âThese fusion reactors are running flat out, Bill. Iâm thinking about patching up a capacitor bank so we can push things farther, or at least have some extra power when we need it. Three or four hours, depending on how easy I can find the parts.â he paused, âAnd Iâm officially putting in a request for you to put something dance-able on your wheel of steel.â
Peter called out, âAnd Iâm just waiting for these slackers to tell me what they need. But Iâm all tooled up for just about anything they want.â He grinned playfully at the other two.
Williamâs chuckle came over the speaker, âGotcha. Those sound like good projects. We get a powerful flare, weâve got a chance to run.â He paused, âAllyson, you there too?â
Allyson, still near the holographic engine display, had been turning her head this way and that to try and follow the conversation and understand what the forming plan of the âtroubleshootersâ was. She forced herself to call out, âYes, Dr. Exeter.â
Williamâs voice came from the speakers, âOkay, Allyson, I need you to take Pete down to Cargo Bay Three and help him uncrate all of the plasma terraforming engines you can find there. Pete, I want those things sky-side against the outer wall of Bay Two and fastened in place. If we need power for them, I want you to run a line back to AJâs source, and it will need to be vacuum sealed. Weâre likely to depressurize that bay so try not to make too many unnecessary holes, okay?â He paused, âAnd donât worry, that bay has some speakers too. I wonât leave you silent âŠâ
Peter grinned and nodded, then started to load tools onto a nearby hovercart. As he worked, he called out, âOn it, boss! Do they have any Ramones or Dead Kennedys or anything with more energy in that jukebox? Thatâs my request, Mr. DJ.â
Williamâs voice carried his chuckle, âIâm on it, guys. Iâll keep you updated, you guys let me know the word. Out.â
As the beats of New Orderâs Blue Monday started to bounce around the engineering bay, Peter looked over at Allyson, âHey, give me a hand with some of this. We need to bounce!â
Allyson registered the words and jogged across the bay to the hovercart, âSorry, sir, we have to âbounceâ?â
Peter chuckled, still pulling tools from the bench to add to the load. âWe have to get moving. Can we bring that welder and thermal lance, or is there a better option?â
Allyson let out a quiet âohâ, then shook her head, âThereâs a backpack unit that can cut and weld. Much easier to move.â She pulled open a a nearby locker.
Peter grinned, âOh, sweet! Are there two?â
2024.06.07 21:25 rar_m Finally did my EMG, results are the same as everyone else.
So, similar story to what you'll see here.
Anyways, finally had the EMG, which is about 3 years later now. Fassiculations in calfs confirmed from the needle test. Nerve test showed nothing bad, no neuropathy or anything. I did end up developing tremors about 8 months after fasciculation started showing up, slight tremor confirmed in nerve test on hand.
So yea, not the big bad and doctor said everything otherwise looks fine. However the one thing of note was that she was really surprised, because I was the second person she had seen that had pretty much the exact same thing. Totally fine EMG, but fasciculations that were found in the calfs. She said this other patient had a similar vaccine/covid story and timeline as mine.
So, as we know, were' not alone out there and now even the doc who did my test is starting to wonder about this since there really isn't much information on fasciculations and not much evidence of vaccine/covid injuries related to them.
For anyone out there wondering about getting an EMG, if you can get it for peace of mind I would say go for it. If you're scared about how it might hurt or feel or afraid of needles.. I'll say this much.
The worst part is not the needles, it's like acupuncture and if you've never had that, it feels like someone barely touches your skin, the 'needle' is literally a giant nothing burger. The nerve test.. the shocks lol now that was uncomfortable. I actually couldn't stop laughing each time she shocked me because of how absolutely annoying it was, I hate getting shocked. If you've ever had one of those gag buzzer things when people shake your hand, it's like that although the strong ones are probably stronger than the gag. If you're only worried about the pain or discomfort, you'll be fine it's not a big deal.
GL out there.
submitted by rar_m to BFS [link] [comments]
- Got vaxed, then booster roughly 8-12 months later
- No obvious covid symptoms ever, few times i got a cold I used a at home kit, never positive
- About 3 months after my second shot, first (and only) booster, fasciculations started
- Fasciculations isolated in calfs, as the months progressed, the intensity died down but fasciculations moved to anywhere on my body pretty much
Anyways, finally had the EMG, which is about 3 years later now. Fassiculations in calfs confirmed from the needle test. Nerve test showed nothing bad, no neuropathy or anything. I did end up developing tremors about 8 months after fasciculation started showing up, slight tremor confirmed in nerve test on hand.
So yea, not the big bad and doctor said everything otherwise looks fine. However the one thing of note was that she was really surprised, because I was the second person she had seen that had pretty much the exact same thing. Totally fine EMG, but fasciculations that were found in the calfs. She said this other patient had a similar vaccine/covid story and timeline as mine.
So, as we know, were' not alone out there and now even the doc who did my test is starting to wonder about this since there really isn't much information on fasciculations and not much evidence of vaccine/covid injuries related to them.
For anyone out there wondering about getting an EMG, if you can get it for peace of mind I would say go for it. If you're scared about how it might hurt or feel or afraid of needles.. I'll say this much.
The worst part is not the needles, it's like acupuncture and if you've never had that, it feels like someone barely touches your skin, the 'needle' is literally a giant nothing burger. The nerve test.. the shocks lol now that was uncomfortable. I actually couldn't stop laughing each time she shocked me because of how absolutely annoying it was, I hate getting shocked. If you've ever had one of those gag buzzer things when people shake your hand, it's like that although the strong ones are probably stronger than the gag. If you're only worried about the pain or discomfort, you'll be fine it's not a big deal.
GL out there.
2024.06.07 21:22 GreninjaDeter I am really bored, so, I put Pokemon Reborn characters and Pokemon Insurgence characters together to see who would become friends.
Originally I wanted to do a VS fight inbetween characters, but then I realized powerscaling sucks, and putting characters from different fangames against one another in fights might be either really one sided or boring to figure out.
So I decided to see who would become friends if the cast of Pokemon Insurgence interacted with the cast of Pokemon Reborn.
I love both of these games and I did this only because I have kept combining both of these games together in my mind ever since I've first finished Reborn, I basically love these games too much for me to ever let go of them and I will forever find ways of combining the games together whenever I can.
I also did this post just for the fun of it so please don't try to chop my head off with an axe if you dislike some of the things I said here.
Of course I'll give some much needed context and background to each character in Insurgence so you guys can understand how I thought this out.
Orion here, I would imagine would get particularly well with Anna, due to the fact they are both rather young, and both have been rather made fun of or not be taken seriously in what they see or say.
Anna with her whole...............whole character and Orion with his rock. Due to these same reasons, I'd think he'd also get along with Luna.
I'd think he'd get along well with Blake, maybe the 2 go for a smoke or 2, chill out, play some call of duty or something.
I'd also think he would get along with Laura due to both of them being rather big fans of nature.
Look, I'm one of the biggest pokemon insurgence fans, I played this game a minimum of 20 times, but this character gets 1 scene in the whole game before they die.
I would find her easily able to get along with Laura, due to both of them really matching in personalities, as well as her getting along well with Julia, Florinia, Amaria and Titania, since I do think she could REALLY get along just fine with all 4 of them.
I would also think she would get along with Adrienn due to both of them being fairy type leaders as well as.....genuinely nice people trying to do better.
I'd honestly find her being able to get along well with Evelynn due to both of them being mechanics and both of them helping terrorists :DDDD (Although ones motive was way better than the others)
Diana would most likely get along well with Shelly, due to the fact both took up pokemon studying in the future and both of them having rather shaky relationships with their Siblings.
Whilst I also see her befriending potentially Julia due to her personality wise not being too different from her dead lover.
I'd also think she might get along with Serra and Radomus....no reason it's just a gut feeling on this one.
Calreath as a personality is very joyful, very happy, i'd think he'd honestly get along well with a lot of people, I think Hardy, Julia, Terra, Lin, Blake and Cain might be some of the first characters I think off in this matter.....that would have been if he was ALIVE but woopsie daisies.
Before the story starts, Adam was forced into a corner by The second augur, Jaern and Persephone into a dream realm, made up in his sons mind to keep him locked there, after which he almost died via having a Gengar use dream eater on his child to make them forget completely about him.
I'd think Adam would get along pretty well with Amethyst, for the reason that they are both the previous strongest trainer in their region.
I would also think he would get along well with Noel and Anastasia, probably seeing a bit of his own child within them, on that note I think he would also get along well with Radomus, probably being able to share the pain he had when his whole life fell apart together with Radomus.
I'd also think he might get along well with Lin! Both of them are fans of hydreigon (He has a mega Hydreigon on him), and Adam might be a good father figure for Lin!
Alright, first things first, I find him to be likely to become really good friends with Taka, not only due to the similarities, Taka being the son of Sol and Damian the son of Audrey, but also because they would just make good friends.
Other than that, I find him likely able to befriend Lumi and Evelynn, not through any particular reason I just really think he would, and perhaps he could also befriend Amaria, I feel like he would really be able to do that.
As a person she's likely to become friends with quite a lot of the characters in reborn, Anna, Noel, Shelly, Cain, Victoria, Luna, Sera, Heather (although that is debatable), since she really is quite friendly in the game just.,...kinda pushed aside after the 6th badge.
Honestly the only person that he might get along with would be Fern, but only to annoy one another.
As a character she might get along with possibly Serra due to both of them being parents (although one better than the other)
And Amaria only and only because she is a water type specialist
But nah, I don't think anyone would be a fan of Zenith, like literally no one, this guy just sucks.
I feel like she might not be able to befriend...anyone, maybe just Sapphira because both of them are striven by the need to get back at those who hurt them, but nothing more.
He might only and only be able to get along semi well with Sigmund, maybe finding respect in his experiments....which....if you were to get along with Sigmund, there might be something wrong with you.
Someone else he might find appreciation for is Evelynn, due to the fact she created the pulse machine, and so he would probably be very interested in how the machines work and how Evelynn made them, basically a worse Florina.
As for who he would get along with, I think he might forge a friendship with Sol, Sol wanting a perfect world and him striving for perfection, it goes hand in hand.
Another one he might find enjoyment for is Lyn, not Lyn as in Lyn, but in Lyn the doll, most likely being fascinated by how she's able to win fights like that, studying her matches and seeing what he can try to do to have that synergy, that perfect team he's striving for.......when he doesn't know her matches are already decided to be won.
Nyx - She is someone that tried to bring Giratina back to power (long story short instead of Arceus creating the universe, Giratina created it, Arceus overthrow them, took their power and Giratina was seen as the devil). she might be able to befriend Lyn...or maybe not since Giratina is pretty anti Arceus.
The E4 - They have no appearences in the game nor any major personalities to speak off, they...they are nothing, really.
King Vesryn - He's one of the first ever pokemon trainers, king of the Vesryn and Aroma regions, both of which are regions from pokemon Omicron and Zeta, another game that the developer, Suzerain, worked on, and he might get along with possibly Elias.
TheSuzerain - Ok this is technically cheating, but the developer suzerain, inserted himself within Insurgence as the character Suzerain, being one of the 8 timeless, which are really strong trainers across the pokemon verse (Cynthia, Steven stone, Red, Dawn, N, Alain, King Vesryn and Suzerain), but...due to both of them being technically self inserts...I would like to think Amethyst would get along with him :DDDD
And second I was really bored, and thought this will be a fun time waster, and it was, be sure to tell me what you guys think, and enjoy your day.
submitted by GreninjaDeter to PokemonReborn [link] [comments]
So I decided to see who would become friends if the cast of Pokemon Insurgence interacted with the cast of Pokemon Reborn.
I love both of these games and I did this only because I have kept combining both of these games together in my mind ever since I've first finished Reborn, I basically love these games too much for me to ever let go of them and I will forever find ways of combining the games together whenever I can.
I also did this post just for the fun of it so please don't try to chop my head off with an axe if you dislike some of the things I said here.
Of course I'll give some much needed context and background to each character in Insurgence so you guys can understand how I thought this out.
Orion
Orion is the first gym leader of the torren region, the fire/grass gym leader who specializes in a sun team, who was often bullied for being friends with a seemingly inanimate white rock, which later turned out to be Reshiram.Orion here, I would imagine would get particularly well with Anna, due to the fact they are both rather young, and both have been rather made fun of or not be taken seriously in what they see or say.
Anna with her whole...............whole character and Orion with his rock. Due to these same reasons, I'd think he'd also get along with Luna.
Xavier
Xavier is the second gym leader of pokemon Insurgence, a master in bug and poison types, with a mega beedrill as his ace, he doesn't really do a lot, he mostly just hangs around, and isn't really important to the plot, he is mostly just a layed back dude who loves nature and smokes marijuana, and was actually once a pokemon ranger before being a gym leader.I'd think he'd get along well with Blake, maybe the 2 go for a smoke or 2, chill out, play some call of duty or something.
I'd also think he would get along with Laura due to both of them being rather big fans of nature.
East
Uhhhhhhh, East...is a meat rider......ok East is the third gym leader in the game, and his only purpose, is to be loyal to a cult leader....and die after losing against the player character.....I'd think he'd get along well with El and that's about it.Look, I'm one of the biggest pokemon insurgence fans, I played this game a minimum of 20 times, but this character gets 1 scene in the whole game before they die.
Harmony
Harmony is the 4th gym leader of the game, a polite madam that specializes in Normal and Fairy types, in the game she appear to warn Orion before a cult tries to steal his white rock, and she herself is traumatized at seeing her father get turned into a deoxys hybrid by her previous friend who became a cult leader......Insurgence.I would find her easily able to get along with Laura, due to both of them really matching in personalities, as well as her getting along well with Julia, Florinia, Amaria and Titania, since I do think she could REALLY get along just fine with all 4 of them.
I would also think she would get along with Adrienn due to both of them being fairy type leaders as well as.....genuinely nice people trying to do better.
Anastasia
Anastasia is the 5th gym leader of the torren region, specializing in steel and electric types, she is also known to do shady deals for MONEY!!!!! Yeah she made a Zekrom armor for a cult member to make his Zekrom stronger......yeah that's something that happens.I'd honestly find her being able to get along well with Evelynn due to both of them being mechanics and both of them helping terrorists :DDDD (Although ones motive was way better than the others)
Diana
Diana is the 6th gym leader of torren, specializing in Ghost and Psychic types, being a lover to the 7th gym leader Calreath (before he dies). has a Cresselia, and is a sibling to the Cult leader Persephone, once you finish her quest in the post game, she stops being a gym leader and becomes a pokemon researcher alongside the regions professor.Diana would most likely get along well with Shelly, due to the fact both took up pokemon studying in the future and both of them having rather shaky relationships with their Siblings.
Whilst I also see her befriending potentially Julia due to her personality wise not being too different from her dead lover.
I'd also think she might get along with Serra and Radomus....no reason it's just a gut feeling on this one.
Calreath
Calreath is the 7th gym leader of the torren region, lover of Diana, being chosen by Manaphy, and specializing in electric, water and dragon types, dying only because the cult leader Zenith made him fall into the depths of the infernal base when he could.Calreath as a personality is very joyful, very happy, i'd think he'd honestly get along well with a lot of people, I think Hardy, Julia, Terra, Lin, Blake and Cain might be some of the first characters I think off in this matter.....that would have been if he was ALIVE but woopsie daisies.
Adam
Adam is the final gym leader of insurgence, the dark type specialist, the prior augur (which meant the protector of the region, strongest trainer in the region, and chosen by Arceus to guide a crystal holding his power), he was also chosen by Hoopa and is the protagonists father.Before the story starts, Adam was forced into a corner by The second augur, Jaern and Persephone into a dream realm, made up in his sons mind to keep him locked there, after which he almost died via having a Gengar use dream eater on his child to make them forget completely about him.
I'd think Adam would get along pretty well with Amethyst, for the reason that they are both the previous strongest trainer in their region.
I would also think he would get along well with Noel and Anastasia, probably seeing a bit of his own child within them, on that note I think he would also get along well with Radomus, probably being able to share the pain he had when his whole life fell apart together with Radomus.
I'd also think he might get along well with Lin! Both of them are fans of hydreigon (He has a mega Hydreigon on him), and Adam might be a good father figure for Lin!
Damian
Damian is the first rival in pokemon insurgence, starting out together with you as someone who was adopted, later in the game he gets chosen by Shaymin, helps defeat the second augur, gaining at least a bit of a backbone before losing it to his friend telling him his step mother was right about him (when she said he was just a child and he wasn't ready for a pokemon yet), gets abducted by the deoxys man previously mentioned, finds out his mother is Audrey, leader of the abyssal cult, sees his mother potentially die infront of his eyes, only to get told he's gonna make the world better, gets healed in the postgame, helps save his mother and finally decides he wants to help people.Alright, first things first, I find him to be likely to become really good friends with Taka, not only due to the similarities, Taka being the son of Sol and Damian the son of Audrey, but also because they would just make good friends.
Other than that, I find him likely able to befriend Lumi and Evelynn, not through any particular reason I just really think he would, and perhaps he could also befriend Amaria, I feel like he would really be able to do that.
Nora
Nora is the second rival of the game, chosen by celebi at the start of her journey, going off on her friend telling him his step mother was right about him then immediately feeling remorse upon her actions, trying the whole game to fix this only to see her friend get infected with a Deoxys virus and disappear from her life, then proceed to become seemingly irrelevant for the rest of the game..........yup....she does nothing else........she's just there....As a person she's likely to become friends with quite a lot of the characters in reborn, Anna, Noel, Shelly, Cain, Victoria, Luna, Sera, Heather (although that is debatable), since she really is quite friendly in the game just.,...kinda pushed aside after the 6th badge.
Jaern
Jaern is the second augur, in the story he uses his reputation and political power as the second augur to make himself seem like an unkillable god when in reality he's weaker than Fern, he sacrifices the 3rd gym leader to summon rayquaza, only for him to suck ass at using the most broken pokemon in existence.Honestly the only person that he might get along with would be Fern, but only to annoy one another.
Audrey
Audrey is the leader of the abyssal cult, mother of Damian, and is obsessed with raising the ocean levels due to a Tentacruel evolution that occured a long time ago when Kyogre was rampaging through hoenn.As a character she might get along with possibly Serra due to both of them being parents (although one better than the other)
And Amaria only and only because she is a water type specialist
Zenith
So on short, he's a cocky cult leader that worships groudon, that almost succeeded at taking over the region after selling people fake vaccine shots.....look the game finished in 2016-2017-2018, it was before covid, the developer is pro Vaccination ok? This was just an unfortunate plotline he wrote into the game.But nah, I don't think anyone would be a fan of Zenith, like literally no one, this guy just sucks.
Persephone
Persephone is the leader of the darkrai cult, she's responsible for the player losing their memory, she's the sister of Diana and is a bit insane in trying to catch Darkrai, and hating her sister due to the fact that Diana and Persephone, when they were young they were under the influence of Zenith, and were part of the Infernal cult, Diana leaving Persephone alone under Zenith's control and leaving Persephone to lose her mind and dying for revenge both on her sister and Zenith.I feel like she might not be able to befriend...anyone, maybe just Sapphira because both of them are striven by the need to get back at those who hurt them, but nothing more.
Taen
Taen is the underling of Reukra, the leader of the perfection cult, he spent the majority of this game trying to make the original dragon and failed.He might only and only be able to get along semi well with Sigmund, maybe finding respect in his experiments....which....if you were to get along with Sigmund, there might be something wrong with you.
Someone else he might find appreciation for is Evelynn, due to the fact she created the pulse machine, and so he would probably be very interested in how the machines work and how Evelynn made them, basically a worse Florina.
Reukra
Reukra is the champion and leader of the perfection cult, he has only 1 thing keeping him forward in life, the search for perfection, he made delta pokemon (which in Insurgence are mostly man made variations of already existing pokemon, ex: a grimer made out of sand), he made mega evolutions, armors, tried with the original dragon, remade mewtwo, and almost succeded in finding the Perfect team.As for who he would get along with, I think he might forge a friendship with Sol, Sol wanting a perfect world and him striving for perfection, it goes hand in hand.
Another one he might find enjoyment for is Lyn, not Lyn as in Lyn, but in Lyn the doll, most likely being fascinated by how she's able to win fights like that, studying her matches and seeing what he can try to do to have that synergy, that perfect team he's striving for.......when he doesn't know her matches are already decided to be won.
The Player
The player is the player..........they are likely to become good friends with everyone from reborn, most likely the doll as wellQuick Mentions
Gail - He is a protestor...he has a zygarde...he might get along with SandyNyx - She is someone that tried to bring Giratina back to power (long story short instead of Arceus creating the universe, Giratina created it, Arceus overthrow them, took their power and Giratina was seen as the devil). she might be able to befriend Lyn...or maybe not since Giratina is pretty anti Arceus.
The E4 - They have no appearences in the game nor any major personalities to speak off, they...they are nothing, really.
King Vesryn - He's one of the first ever pokemon trainers, king of the Vesryn and Aroma regions, both of which are regions from pokemon Omicron and Zeta, another game that the developer, Suzerain, worked on, and he might get along with possibly Elias.
TheSuzerain - Ok this is technically cheating, but the developer suzerain, inserted himself within Insurgence as the character Suzerain, being one of the 8 timeless, which are really strong trainers across the pokemon verse (Cynthia, Steven stone, Red, Dawn, N, Alain, King Vesryn and Suzerain), but...due to both of them being technically self inserts...I would like to think Amethyst would get along with him :DDDD
Conclusion:
Boredom does something to humans...I am one of them, this was done because for one...I just wanted to put my thoughts on this out in the open.And second I was really bored, and thought this will be a fun time waster, and it was, be sure to tell me what you guys think, and enjoy your day.
2024.06.07 21:17 roachyfrog TIFU by realizing what âbitterâ actually tastes like
So Iâm down on my luck in life always. Always tried my hardest but itâs just pretty obvious Iâm one of those marathon runners that shouldnât have even been placed on the list to qualify to run any marathons. Like a slug living amongst birds that eat slugs. Like that only one peace of work from a professional that looks like it was made by a child.
Basically I just am not equipped to exist. And for a little while now I have been working towards an understanding that itâs not shameful to decide to tap out of a game/activity if you canât play it. There is no shame in being a spectator (ghost/spirit) rather than a participant (human). I donât have anyone that would need less than a moment of thoughts prayer in my life that would be affected in any way. No real connections. Not even pets. And I never understood this world much really.
Anyway, I resigned from my job that was breaking my body down more than helping me with bills and I have taken measures to secure all my loose ends. I used anything that was left to do small little things that I had always pushed back.
And then, armed with some outdated knowledge about this thing that goes into cars to keep the cars cool/heated, I went to the store and got me a gallon.
I picked some soda up. Got some energy drink mixtures too and then I set everything up.
I was going to put some stuff on TV that would absorb my attention and then keep sipping till grim reaper made an appearance.
Everything was done before this to settle my case with the Big Guy Upstairs. I had a confession session. Cried my heart out. Surrendered. Spoke everything I wanted to. Asked questions. Yelled. And then told Him that He placed me in this world exactly the way I was and gave me freedom of choice.
So my choice was to tell him that I had tried life and earth out and tbh it sucked. That I probably was never going to be one of those people who would pass all His trials and tests. I told Him that His trials and tests suck ass. Itâs almost like He keeps you in a state where you are pushed beyond your comfort zone and even if you know heâs the boss and you give him his due respect, the risk of succumbing to anger, blasphemy, mental illness, suicide, crimes against yourself and others, etc. etc. are way too high.
I told Him idk what the Blood of Jesus has to do with things, but I hate how we canât just peacefully decide to exit existing as humans. And I was specifically angry about how when He decides your time has come, it is usually right when youâre not ready. And majority of the times it will be in some painful, gruesome and weird way. Very rarely do you get deaths where someone was just peacefully chilling and died.
I didnât know if I would get a shot to see Satan himself but I told him if he could hear me that he was dumb for wasting all his time trying to mislead humanity when he could be building crazy space empires or messing around with aliens. Or like making wishes come true. Idk.
Now to the TIFU. I had used a small glass bottle for my âshotsâ. It was disgusting. Whatever they put in it tastes worse than anything I have ever tasted. Shampoo and soap taste better. I couldnât get past the first gulp. My entire tongue was coated with that taste for a while after. You better believe I looked like a meme when I realized God played me yet again.
Too much power is not good sometimes. This is the lesson I learned. Is it blasphemy if I think God has way too much power and that is not a good thing tbh if you really think about it. We are completely at his Mercy even at our worst points. And it is completely up to Him whether or not you will get even a small bit of relief from it.
TLDR; God has way too much power and I donât like it one bit. Tried to politely return my soul to Him cause Iâm not really feeling life/earth/existing in general and he checked me. We playing human Chess but God is ALWAYS on his power tripping checkmate phase. Ainât no winning.
submitted by roachyfrog to tifu [link] [comments]
Basically I just am not equipped to exist. And for a little while now I have been working towards an understanding that itâs not shameful to decide to tap out of a game/activity if you canât play it. There is no shame in being a spectator (ghost/spirit) rather than a participant (human). I donât have anyone that would need less than a moment of thoughts prayer in my life that would be affected in any way. No real connections. Not even pets. And I never understood this world much really.
Anyway, I resigned from my job that was breaking my body down more than helping me with bills and I have taken measures to secure all my loose ends. I used anything that was left to do small little things that I had always pushed back.
And then, armed with some outdated knowledge about this thing that goes into cars to keep the cars cool/heated, I went to the store and got me a gallon.
I picked some soda up. Got some energy drink mixtures too and then I set everything up.
I was going to put some stuff on TV that would absorb my attention and then keep sipping till grim reaper made an appearance.
Everything was done before this to settle my case with the Big Guy Upstairs. I had a confession session. Cried my heart out. Surrendered. Spoke everything I wanted to. Asked questions. Yelled. And then told Him that He placed me in this world exactly the way I was and gave me freedom of choice.
So my choice was to tell him that I had tried life and earth out and tbh it sucked. That I probably was never going to be one of those people who would pass all His trials and tests. I told Him that His trials and tests suck ass. Itâs almost like He keeps you in a state where you are pushed beyond your comfort zone and even if you know heâs the boss and you give him his due respect, the risk of succumbing to anger, blasphemy, mental illness, suicide, crimes against yourself and others, etc. etc. are way too high.
I told Him idk what the Blood of Jesus has to do with things, but I hate how we canât just peacefully decide to exit existing as humans. And I was specifically angry about how when He decides your time has come, it is usually right when youâre not ready. And majority of the times it will be in some painful, gruesome and weird way. Very rarely do you get deaths where someone was just peacefully chilling and died.
I didnât know if I would get a shot to see Satan himself but I told him if he could hear me that he was dumb for wasting all his time trying to mislead humanity when he could be building crazy space empires or messing around with aliens. Or like making wishes come true. Idk.
Now to the TIFU. I had used a small glass bottle for my âshotsâ. It was disgusting. Whatever they put in it tastes worse than anything I have ever tasted. Shampoo and soap taste better. I couldnât get past the first gulp. My entire tongue was coated with that taste for a while after. You better believe I looked like a meme when I realized God played me yet again.
Too much power is not good sometimes. This is the lesson I learned. Is it blasphemy if I think God has way too much power and that is not a good thing tbh if you really think about it. We are completely at his Mercy even at our worst points. And it is completely up to Him whether or not you will get even a small bit of relief from it.
TLDR; God has way too much power and I donât like it one bit. Tried to politely return my soul to Him cause Iâm not really feeling life/earth/existing in general and he checked me. We playing human Chess but God is ALWAYS on his power tripping checkmate phase. Ainât no winning.
2024.06.07 21:13 Any_Soup_7836 24F, having shortness of breath, pain in left arm and dizziness with chest tightness
I'm 24F, don't smoke, don't drink. I have been having shortness of breath with pain in my left arm. It started a week ago out of the blue and I couldn't breathe properly anymore. My pulmonologist says it's nothing serious, but after googling the symptoms, I can't shake the feeling that I have something serious like pulmonary embolism. It all started out after I used big sprays extensively for a week (too many bugs due to rains) and also had a mild case of tonsilloliths. Doctor says it could be teitze syndrome, but the pain is too much and I'm terrified.
Along with this, I'm having other symptoms as well: 1. very stiff and painful upper back 2. pain in my left arm 3. pulsatile tinnitus in left ear and occasionally, a weird static noise in right ear (from past 6 months) 4. Pain in the breastbone and severe chest tightness 5. Weakness in my legs and arms 6. Occasional shaking of fingers and spasms in my legs and pain in left leg and knees. 7. Stiff neck and occasional headaches 8. Dizziness 9. Pain in the right side of stomach (occasionally)
Although I have shortness of breath, my spo2 levels are between 94-100, and I have a heart rate in the range of 65-90.
I got my echo and ecg done, as well as chest xray, FeNo and spirometry tests done. My echo, ecg and chest xray is normal, although FeNo is a bit elevated (36) and results of spirometry were a bit poor. I also have anaemia (ferreting level 10) and fatty liver grade 2.
The doctor has prescribed me foracort 200, and vitamin E, iron and vitamin D supplements along with some antacid, but seems like it's not helping much. (It's been three days since I have started taking these).
I get short of breath just by walking for 5 mins and need to force myself to take deep breaths every single time because I feel like I'm not getting any oxygen at all. If I bend down or move about, I get very dizzy. I'm terrified. What could this be and should I take a second opinion?
submitted by Any_Soup_7836 to AskDocs [link] [comments]
Along with this, I'm having other symptoms as well: 1. very stiff and painful upper back 2. pain in my left arm 3. pulsatile tinnitus in left ear and occasionally, a weird static noise in right ear (from past 6 months) 4. Pain in the breastbone and severe chest tightness 5. Weakness in my legs and arms 6. Occasional shaking of fingers and spasms in my legs and pain in left leg and knees. 7. Stiff neck and occasional headaches 8. Dizziness 9. Pain in the right side of stomach (occasionally)
Although I have shortness of breath, my spo2 levels are between 94-100, and I have a heart rate in the range of 65-90.
I got my echo and ecg done, as well as chest xray, FeNo and spirometry tests done. My echo, ecg and chest xray is normal, although FeNo is a bit elevated (36) and results of spirometry were a bit poor. I also have anaemia (ferreting level 10) and fatty liver grade 2.
The doctor has prescribed me foracort 200, and vitamin E, iron and vitamin D supplements along with some antacid, but seems like it's not helping much. (It's been three days since I have started taking these).
I get short of breath just by walking for 5 mins and need to force myself to take deep breaths every single time because I feel like I'm not getting any oxygen at all. If I bend down or move about, I get very dizzy. I'm terrified. What could this be and should I take a second opinion?
2024.06.07 21:13 YellowHooked Getting Back and Pain
47 years old, but very fit. Iâve been playing competitive soccer in open age divisions up until last year when I moved to over 40.
Iâve played both roller and ice most of my life up until I started getting back into footy. As a roller hockey player I was pretty elite, well into my thirties and am looking to get back to that level in my age bracket (40+) and after a few sessions on my own itâs all come back fairly quickly.
The one thing thatâs hurting me though (literally) is my top hand wrist/forearm. At first I thought it might be arthritis is my wrists from decades of hockey, but today itâs shot up into my forearm. Again this is my top hand and felt it sharply on a cross body wrist shot.
Anyone have any experience with top hand/wrist pain? Iâm gonna ice it for now, maybe some Tylenol (canât do Advil, ulcers).
God, this is such an old man thread, ulcers/arthritisâŠđ. One good thing is itâs so much less impact on my arthritic knees!
submitted by YellowHooked to hockeyplayers [link] [comments]
Iâve played both roller and ice most of my life up until I started getting back into footy. As a roller hockey player I was pretty elite, well into my thirties and am looking to get back to that level in my age bracket (40+) and after a few sessions on my own itâs all come back fairly quickly.
The one thing thatâs hurting me though (literally) is my top hand wrist/forearm. At first I thought it might be arthritis is my wrists from decades of hockey, but today itâs shot up into my forearm. Again this is my top hand and felt it sharply on a cross body wrist shot.
Anyone have any experience with top hand/wrist pain? Iâm gonna ice it for now, maybe some Tylenol (canât do Advil, ulcers).
God, this is such an old man thread, ulcers/arthritisâŠđ. One good thing is itâs so much less impact on my arthritic knees!
2024.06.07 21:12 Sweet-Count2557 Maldives Island Google Map
 | Maldives Island Google Map We've all heard about the amazing wonders of the Maldives, that dreamy destination with its crystal-clear waters and pristine beaches.And now, there's a tool that allows us to navigate this paradise with ease - the Maldives Island Google Map. But it's not just any ordinary map; it's a virtual guide that unveils the secrets of this enchanting archipelago.From hidden lagoons to bustling towns, this map holds the key to unlocking the treasures of the Maldives.So, if you're ready to embark on a journey of discovery, join us as we explore the wonders that await on the Maldives Island Google Map.Key TakeawaysThe Maldives is a chain of coral islands and atolls in the Indian Ocean, known for its stunning beaches and rich marine life.Google Maps can be used to explore the Maldives, locate different islands and atolls, and even experience virtual street view of local neighborhoods and attractions.Pros of using Google Maps for the Maldives include its user-friendly interface, satellite view for stunning visuals, and real-time traffic information.However, there are also limitations such as the need for an internet connection, limited street view coverage, and potential inaccuracies in directions.Overview of the Maldives IslandLet's take a closer look at the beautiful Maldives Island chain and discover its captivating charm and natural wonders.The Maldives is a chain of coral islands and atolls in the Indian Ocean, consisting of 1190 coral islands grouped into about 26 atolls. With its clear, green waters and stunning views, the Maldives is a paradise for nature lovers and adventure seekers.One of the main attractions of the Maldives is its rich marine life. The Indian Ocean surrounding the islands is teeming with a diverse range of marine species. Snorkeling and diving enthusiasts will be delighted to explore the vibrant coral reefs and encounter colorful fish, sea turtles, and even dolphins. The Maldives is home to over 2000 species of fish, making it a perfect destination for underwater exploration.The Maldives is also known for its stunning beaches and crystal-clear waters. The white sandy beaches stretch for miles, providing the perfect backdrop for relaxation and sunbathing. The warm tropical climate and gentle sea breeze create an idyllic setting for a beach vacation.In addition to its natural beauty, the Maldives offers a unique cultural experience. The local population of about 300,000 inhabitants adds to the charm of the islands. The Maldivian people are friendly and welcoming, and visitors have the opportunity to immerse themselves in the local culture through traditional music, dance, and cuisine.How to Access Google Maps for the Maldives IslandAfter exploring the captivating charm and natural wonders of the Maldives Island chain, it's time to discover how to access Google Maps for this stunning destination. Google Maps provides a convenient and user-friendly way to navigate the Maldives Islands, whether you're seeking the best spots for underwater photography, trying to find your way around the local neighborhoods, or planning to attend cultural festivals and events.To access Google Maps for the Maldives, simply open the Google Maps website or app. Once you're there, type 'Maldives' in the search bar to locate the country on the map. From there, you can zoom in and explore the different islands, atolls, and cities that make up the Maldives.One of the most fascinating features of Google Maps is the satellite view. By using this feature, you can see the stunning natural beauty of the Maldives Islands from above. The unique arrangement of the islands and the crystal-clear turquoise waters are truly a sight to behold.Another useful tool on Google Maps is the street view function. This allows you to virtually explore the local neighborhoods, resorts, and attractions on the islands. Whether you're looking for the best place to stay or want to get a sense of the local atmosphere, street view can provide valuable insights.In addition to navigation, Google Maps also offers real-time traffic information and directions. This can be particularly helpful when exploring the Maldives Islands and trying to find the best local transportation options.So, whether you're planning an underwater photography expedition, looking to immerse yourself in the local culture at festivals and events, or simply want to navigate the islands with ease, Google Maps is an invaluable tool for your Maldives adventure. Start exploring and let Google Maps be your guide to this paradise on Earth.ProsConsUser-friendly interfaceRequires internet connectionSatellite view for stunning visualsLimited street view coverageReal-time traffic informationPossible inaccuracies in directionsExploring the Main Attractions on the Maldives IslandAs we explore the main attractions on the Maldives Island, we're greeted with a breathtaking display of natural beauty and a myriad of exciting activities to indulge in. One of the main attractions that draw visitors to this paradise is its stunning beaches. The Maldives boasts picture-perfect stretches of white sand, fringed by crystal-clear turquoise waters. The beaches here are simply unparalleled, providing the perfect setting for relaxation and tranquility.But the beauty of the Maldives doesn't stop at its shores. The underwater world surrounding the islands is equally captivating. With its vibrant coral reefs and diverse marine life, the Maldives offers some of the best snorkeling and diving opportunities in the world. Exploring the underwater world is like entering a whole new realm, where colorful fish dance among the coral gardens and graceful manta rays glide effortlessly through the water. It truly is a sight to behold.Aside from the stunning beaches and the underwater world, the Maldives also offers a range of other main attractions to explore. Luxury resorts dot the islands, offering world-class amenities and the ultimate in relaxation. Indulge in spa treatments, savor delectable Indian cuisine, or simply lounge by the infinity pool, soaking up the sun and the breathtaking views.As we venture further into the Maldives Island, we discover hidden gems such as local markets, where we can immerse ourselves in the vibrant culture and pick up unique souvenirs. We can also embark on island-hopping adventures, visiting different atolls and experiencing the distinct charm and beauty of each.Navigating the Beaches and Lagoons on the Maldives IslandNavigating the beaches and lagoons on the Maldives Island is like embarking on a captivating journey through a chain of coral islands and atolls in the Indian Ocean. The Maldives' 26 atolls and 1190 coral islands are spread across a vast area, offering diverse beach and lagoon experiences. Here are some ways to explore these stunning landscapes:Beach Activities: The Maldives is a paradise for beach lovers. With its crystal-clear, turquoise waters and soft, white sands, you can enjoy a range of activities such as sunbathing, beach volleyball, and building sandcastles. Take a leisurely stroll along the shoreline and soak in the breathtaking views.Coral Reefs: Explore the vibrant coral reefs that surround the Maldives Islands. Go snorkeling or diving to discover an underwater world teeming with colorful fish, turtles, and other marine life. The coral reefs offer a unique opportunity to witness the beauty and diversity of the ocean firsthand.Boat Tours: Since most transportation in the Maldives is done by boat, taking a boat tour is a must-do activity. Hop on a traditional dhoni or a speedboat and cruise along the coastline, hopping from one island to another. Enjoy the cool ocean breeze and marvel at the picturesque scenery as you navigate the beaches and lagoons.Spotting Marine Life: The Maldives is renowned for its rich marine biodiversity. Keep an eye out for dolphins, manta rays, and even whale sharks. Embark on a dolphin-watching excursion or join a guided tour to witness these majestic creatures in their natural habitat.Exploring the beaches and lagoons on the Maldives Island is a truly unforgettable experience. Immerse yourself in the beauty of the coral islands, indulge in beach activities, and embark on boat tours to discover the wonders of this tropical paradise.Discovering the Underwater World of the Maldives IslandEmbarking on a journey beneath the surface, we venture into the captivating underwater world of the Maldives Island. With its 1,190 coral islands grouped into 26 atolls, the Maldives offers a diverse array of underwater landscapes waiting to be explored. The country's capital city, Male, serves as a convenient hub for underwater excursions, with its map showcasing the intricate layout of atolls, cities, and towns, aiding in planning our underwater adventures.As we delve into the turquoise waters of the Maldives, we're greeted by an abundance of marine biodiversity. The stunning coral reefs that surround the islands provide a habitat for a wide variety of fish, turtles, and other marine creatures. Snorkeling adventures here are truly unforgettable, as we immerse ourselves in a world teeming with vibrant colors and fascinating underwater life.For those looking to capture the beauty of the underwater world, the Maldives also offers excellent opportunities for underwater photography. As we explore the coral gardens and swim alongside schools of fish, we can use these underwater photography tips to capture stunning shots: make sure to use a waterproof camera or housing, get close to your subjects to capture their details, and take advantage of natural light for vibrant and clear images.In the Maldives, the underwater world is a treasure trove waiting to be discovered. With its breathtaking marine biodiversity and opportunities for snorkeling adventures and underwater photography, it's a paradise for those seeking to explore the mysteries beneath the surface. So, grab your snorkel gear and dive into the enchanting waters of the Maldives Island.Finding the Best Resorts and Accommodations on the Maldives IslandWhen it comes to finding the best resorts and accommodations on the Maldives Island, there are a few top-rated options that stand out. These resorts offer luxurious over-water villas with stunning ocean views and direct access to the water.If you're on a budget, don't worry, as there are also some great budget accommodations available that still provide a comfortable and enjoyable stay.Top-Rated Maldives ResortsTo find the best resorts and accommodations on the Maldives Island, we can explore the top-rated options that offer luxurious experiences and breathtaking views. Here are the top-rated Maldives resorts:Luxury accommodations: The Maldives is renowned for its opulent resorts that offer world-class amenities and services. From private pools to personal butlers, these resorts provide a truly indulgent experience.Beachfront villas: Imagine waking up to the sound of waves crashing on the shore and stepping out onto your own private beach. Many of the top-rated resorts in the Maldives offer beachfront villas, allowing guests to enjoy direct access to the pristine white sands and turquoise waters.All-inclusive packages: For a hassle-free vacation, consider opting for an all-inclusive package. These packages often include meals, drinks, activities, and even spa treatments, ensuring that guests can relax and enjoy their stay without worrying about additional expenses.Breathtaking views: Whether it's a panoramic view of the Indian Ocean or a stunning sunset over the horizon, the top-rated resorts in the Maldives offer unforgettable vistas. Guests can indulge in the natural beauty of the islands from the comfort of their own luxurious accommodations.Best Budget AccommodationsAs we delve into the search for the best budget accommodations on the Maldives Island, let's uncover the hidden gems that offer affordable stays amidst the breathtaking coral islands and atolls of the Indian Ocean.The Maldives may be known for its luxury resorts, but there are also budget accommodations that provide a unique and cost-effective experience. Some of these accommodations are located on man-made islands specifically designed for tourism, offering a range of island activities such as swimming, snorkeling, and spotting marine life.However, it's important to consider the cultural experiences that come with staying in budget accommodations. Islamic cultural rules, such as restrictions on alcohol and attire, may impact the experience.Nonetheless, budget accommodations in the Maldives offer a fantastic opportunity to explore the natural beauty of the islands without breaking the bank.Exploring Local Cuisine and Dining Options on the Maldives IslandLocal cuisine on the Maldives Island offers a tantalizing fusion of Indian, Sri Lankan, and Arabian flavors, reflecting a rich culinary heritage that's sure to delight food enthusiasts. From mouthwatering Maldivian delicacies to popular seafood dishes, exploring the local cuisine provides an authentic dining experience.Here are some highlights:Maldivian Delicacies: Immerse yourself in the local culture by trying traditional Maldivian dishes. Garudhiya, a fragrant fish soup made with fresh tuna, is a must-try. The flavors of the fish, combined with aromatic spices, create a comforting and flavorful broth. Another delicacy is mas huni, a refreshing tuna and coconut salad. This dish combines flaked tuna, grated coconut, onions, chili, and lime juice, resulting in a delicious and satisfying meal.Popular Seafood Dishes: Being surrounded by the Indian Ocean, it's no surprise that seafood plays a significant role in Maldivian cuisine. Indulge in mouthwatering grilled fish, prawns, and lobster, expertly prepared by local chefs. The seafood is often seasoned with a blend of spices, giving it a unique and flavorful taste.Authentic Dining Experience: To truly experience the local cuisine, venture beyond the resorts and hotels and visit local cafes and family-run restaurants. Here, you can savor traditional Maldivian meals cooked with love and passion, providing an authentic dining experience. Interacting with the locals and witnessing their culinary traditions adds an extra layer of authenticity to your dining experience.International Dining Options: If you prefer a wider variety of culinary options, upscale resorts and hotels on the Maldives Island offer a range of international dining options. From Asian fusion to Mediterranean cuisine, you can explore different flavors and satisfy your taste buds.Whether you choose to indulge in Maldivian delicacies or explore international cuisines, the diverse dining options on the Maldives Island are sure to satisfy every palate. So, go ahead and embark on a culinary adventure that will leave you craving for more.Shopping and Souvenir Hunting on the Maldives IslandShopping on the Maldives Island is a delightful experience, offering a wide variety of handcrafted treasures and unique souvenirs waiting to be discovered. The island is home to vibrant local markets where visitors can immerse themselves in the rich culture and find authentic items that reflect the Maldivian heritage.Exploring these markets allows travelers to appreciate the traditional crafts that have been passed down through generations. One can find intricately designed wooden carvings, showcasing the skill and artistry of local artisans. These carvings often depict marine life, such as dolphins, turtles, and coral reefs, capturing the essence of the Maldives' natural beauty.For those looking to bring home a piece of Maldivian fashion, colorful sarongs are a popular choice. These garments, known as 'feyli,' are made from lightweight fabrics and feature vibrant patterns inspired by the island's flora and fauna. They're perfect for lounging on the beach or adding a touch of tropical flair to any wardrobe.Handwoven baskets made from locally sourced materials are also sought-after souvenirs. These baskets come in various sizes and shapes, making them versatile and practical for everyday use. They're a testament to the island's commitment to sustainable craftsmanship.A visit to the local markets wouldn't be complete without exploring the exquisite jewelry made from seashells and coral. These pieces are intricately designed, showcasing the natural beauty of the ocean. From necklaces and earrings to bracelets and rings, each jewelry item tells a unique story and serves as a reminder of the Maldives' breathtaking underwater world.Shopping for souvenirs in the Maldives Island isn't just about acquiring material possessions; it's an opportunity to support local craftsmanship and take home a piece of the island's soul. These authentic souvenirs serve as cherished keepsakes, reminding us of the beauty and cultural significance of the Maldives.Uncovering the Cultural and Historical Sites on the Maldives IslandNestled among the crystal-clear waters of the Indian Ocean, the Maldives Island is a treasure trove of cultural and historical sites waiting to be uncovered. From ancient monuments to vibrant festivals, here are some of the highlights that showcase the rich cultural heritage of this island paradise:Cultural Preservation: The Maldives takes great pride in preserving its cultural traditions. Explore the local villages to witness traditional craftsmanship, such as intricate woodcarvings and exquisite lacquerwork. Visit the National Museum in Malé to delve into the country's history and discover artifacts that date back centuries.Historical Monuments: The Maldives is home to a number of historical monuments that offer a glimpse into its past. One such landmark is the Hukuru Miskiy, also known as the Old Friday Mosque, which is adorned with beautiful coral stone carvings. Another must-visit is the Malé Friday Mosque, an architectural marvel with its intricate coral patterns and ornate minaret.Traditional Festivals: Immerse yourself in the vibrant culture of the Maldives by attending traditional festivals. The most prominent celebration is Eid al-Fitr, marking the end of Ramadan. Witness the joyous festivities, which include feasts, music, dance, and traditional performances. Don't miss out on the Bodu Beru, a lively drumming performance that's a hallmark of Maldivian culture.Island Excursions: While the Maldives is known for its stunning beaches and luxury resorts, the islands also offer a chance to explore the local way of life. Take a trip to a local island and experience the warmth and hospitality of the Maldivian people. Engage in activities like cooking classes, fishing trips, and cultural tours to gain a deeper understanding of the island's heritage.Uncovering the cultural and historical sites on the Maldives Island is a journey that will leave you enriched and inspired. Embark on this exploration and let the Maldives weave its captivating tales of the past.Planning a Dreamy Honeymoon on the Maldives IslandIf you're dreaming of a romantic and unforgettable honeymoon, the Maldives Island offers the perfect destination to create cherished memories that will last a lifetime. With its 1190 coral islands grouped into about 26 atolls, the Maldives provides diverse landscapes and experiences for couples seeking a dreamy getaway.When it comes to honeymoon accommodations, the Maldives boasts an array of luxury resorts and water villas that allow you to immerse yourself in the island's natural beauty. Imagine waking up to stunning views of clear green waters and experiencing the rich marine biodiversity right at your doorstep.To make your honeymoon even more special, the Maldives offers a range of romantic activities. From private beach dinners under the starlit sky to couples' spa treatments that will relax and rejuvenate you, there are plenty of options to ignite the spark of romance. Snorkeling and diving enthusiasts will be delighted by the opportunity to explore the Devata Coral Reef, known for its vibrant colors and abundant marine life.To make planning your dreamy honeymoon a breeze, many resorts in the Maldives offer honeymoon packages. These packages often include special perks such as candlelit dinners, couples' massages, and even sunset cruises. Whether you prefer a secluded and intimate experience or a more adventurous and active honeymoon, the Maldives has something for every couple.In addition to its breathtaking beauty and romantic offerings, the Maldives also provides a chance to immerse yourself in the local lifestyle. With most transportation done by boat, you'll have the opportunity to explore different islands and experience the authentic, non-touristy side of the Maldives.Tips for a Relaxing Spa and Wellness Experience on the Maldives IslandWhen it comes to finding the best spa treatments and serene wellness retreats on the Maldives Island, we've got you covered.From traditional Maldivian treatments to outdoor spa sessions with breathtaking ocean views, there are plenty of options to ensure a truly relaxing experience.Don't forget to take advantage of unique activities like underwater spa treatments or beachside massages for an extra dose of tranquility.Best Spa TreatmentsImmerse yourself in the ultimate relaxation and rejuvenation on the Maldives Island with the best spa treatments that will leave you feeling refreshed and revitalized. Here are some popular wellness activities and the benefits of holistic therapies to elevate your spa experience:Traditional Maldivian Massage: Experience a deeply relaxing treatment using coconut oil, known for its nourishing properties. This massage technique will help relieve tension and promote a sense of calm.Rejuvenating Seaweed Body Wrap: After a day of exploring the beautiful islands, indulge in a detoxifying and nourishing seaweed body wrap. This treatment will leave your skin feeling hydrated and revitalized.Luxurious Overwater Bungalow Spa: Treat yourself to a luxurious spa experience in an overwater bungalow, where you can enjoy stunning views and the soothing sounds of the ocean. Let the tranquil surroundings enhance your relaxation.Maldivian Sand Massage: Exfoliate and revitalize your skin with a Maldivian sand massage. This unique treatment promotes relaxation while leaving your skin smooth and radiant.Try these incredible spa treatments on the Maldives Island for a truly relaxing and rejuvenating experience.Serene Wellness RetreatsAre you looking for a truly relaxing and rejuvenating spa and wellness experience on the Maldives Island? Look no further than the serene wellness retreats scattered across the stunning coral islands and atolls of the Indian Ocean.These retreats offer a peaceful and tranquil environment, perfect for unwinding and finding inner peace. Immerse yourself in a range of spa treatments, from soothing massages to rejuvenating facials.Indulge in yoga retreats, where you can stretch and strengthen your body while surrounded by the beauty of nature. Practice meditation to calm your mind and find inner balance.These retreats also offer holistic healing practices, allowing you to connect with your mind, body, and spirit.Experience the ultimate relaxation and wellness getaway in the Maldives.Trying Exciting Water Sports and Activities on the Maldives IslandGet ready for an unforgettable adventure as we dive into the exhilarating world of water sports and activities on the beautiful Maldives Island. With its crystal-clear waters and stunning coral reefs, the Maldives offers a plethora of options for those seeking adrenaline pumping water sports and unforgettable experiences.Here are four exciting activities to try on the Maldives Island:Snorkeling Adventures: Immerse yourself in the vibrant underwater world of the Maldives through snorkeling. Swim alongside colorful fish, explore mesmerizing coral reefs, and witness the diverse marine life that calls these waters home. The Maldives offers numerous snorkeling spots where you can discover the beauty and tranquility of the underwater realm.Adrenaline Pumping Water Sports: If you crave excitement and thrill, the Maldives has you covered. Try your hand at jet skiing, where you can zoom across the clear blue waters, feeling the rush of the wind against your face. Or, take on the challenge of paddleboarding, parasailing, or kayaking, and experience the thrill of maneuvering through the picturesque island scenery.Romantic Sunset Cruises: For a more relaxed and romantic experience, embark on a sunset cruise. Sail into the golden hues of the setting sun, while sipping on a refreshing drink and enjoying the breathtaking views. Watch as the sky transforms into a canvas of vivid colors, creating a magical moment that will stay with you forever.Dolphin Watching and Fishing Trips: The Maldives is home to an abundance of marine life, including playful dolphins. Join a dolphin watching excursion and witness these majestic creatures in their natural habitat, leaping and gliding through the waves. Alternatively, go on a fishing trip and try your luck at catching some of the local fish, adding a thrilling element to your island adventure.Whether you're seeking adrenaline or romance, the Maldives offers an array of water sports and activities to suit every preference. Dive into the clear waters and create memories that will last a lifetime.Exploring the Local Wildlife and Nature Reserves on the Maldives IslandWhat hidden treasures of wildlife and nature can be discovered on the Maldives Island? The Maldives Islands aren't only known for their stunning beaches and crystal-clear waters but also for their rich biodiversity and commitment to wildlife conservation. With several nature reserves and a strong focus on eco-tourism, exploring the local wildlife on the Maldives Island is an experience like no other.One of the must-visit places for nature enthusiasts is the Baa Atoll Biosphere Reserve. This UNESCO World Biosphere Reserve is home to an incredible array of marine life, including manta rays, whale sharks, and vibrant coral reefs. Snorkeling or diving in these waters allows you to witness the beauty of the underwater world while contributing to its preservation.For those interested in birdwatching, the Maldives is a paradise. The islands are a vital stopover point for many migratory birds, offering a unique opportunity to observe rare species up close. The Hulhumale Wetland, located near the capital city of Male, is a popular spot for birdwatching, with over 70 bird species calling it home.To learn more about the local flora and fauna, a visit to the Maldives Wildlife Rescue Center is a must. This center focuses on rehabilitating and releasing injured or orphaned wildlife, such as sea turtles and birds. Visitors can participate in educational programs and gain a deeper understanding of the importance of wildlife conservation.Eco-tourism is a key focus on the Maldives Island, with many resorts implementing sustainable practices and offering guided nature walks and wildlife safaris. These activities allow visitors to explore the islands' unique ecosystems while minimizing their impact on the environment.Taking a Virtual Tour of the Maldives Island's Private Islands and RetreatsEmbark on a captivating virtual journey through the private islands and retreats of the Maldives, where breathtaking natural beauty and luxurious architecture await. With the advancement of technology, accessing virtual tours of these exclusive destinations has become easier than ever before. Let's dive in and explore the wonders that await you in the Maldives:Experience luxury resorts: Through virtual tours, you can step into the world of opulence and indulgence that the Maldives is known for. Immerse yourself in the stunning architecture of the private island resorts, where houses seem to float on the crystal-clear waters. Marvel at the elegant villas, complete with private pools, outdoor showers, and panoramic views of the Indian Ocean.Explore the vibrant marine life: The Maldives is renowned for its vibrant coral reefs and diverse marine life. Take a virtual dive and witness the wonders of the underwater world. Swim alongside colorful fish, graceful manta rays, and even spot a majestic whale shark. These virtual tours provide an up-close encounter with the incredible marine biodiversity that surrounds the Maldives.Understand local customs: As you explore the virtual tours, you'll also gain insights into the rich cultural experiences offered by the Maldives' resorts. Learn about the Islamic customs and traditions that are an integral part of the Maldivian way of life. Discover the influence of these customs on the resorts' offerings, from traditional Maldivian cuisine to unique activities and experiences.Plan your future visit: While virtual tours provide a glimpse into the wonders of the Maldives, they also serve as a guide for planning your future visit. Take note of the resorts and retreats that capture your interest and start envisioning your dream vacation in paradise.Through accessing virtual tours, you can now indulge in the luxury, natural beauty, and local customs of the Maldives from the comfort of your own home. Start your virtual journey today and get ready to be enchanted by the wonders of this tropical paradise.Capturing Insta-Worthy Moments on the Maldives IslandAs we explore the enchanting Maldives Island, we're captivated by the countless opportunities to capture insta-worthy moments amidst its stunning natural beauty and unique experiences. From the moment we arrived, we knew that this tropical paradise was a photographer's dream.The Maldives Island offers a plethora of picturesque settings that are perfect for capturing sunset photography. Imagine standing on the soft white sand, feeling the gentle breeze on your skin, as the sky transforms into a vibrant canvas of oranges, pinks, and purples. It's a sight that will leave you in awe and your followers longing to be there with you.But the beauty of the Maldives doesn't end with its mesmerizing sunsets. Underwater photography is another must-do activity here. The crystal-clear, green waters provide the perfect backdrop for capturing vibrant coral reefs, tropical fish, and even majestic manta rays and whale sharks. Whether you're a professional photographer or just a hobbyist, the underwater world of the Maldives will leave you breathless and your camera roll full of stunning shots.In addition to its natural beauty, the Maldives Island is also known for its vibrant local festivals and events. Throughout the year, the island comes alive with celebrations of Maldivian culture, music, and dance. From the Bodu Beru festival, where locals showcase their traditional drumming skills, to the Eid al-Fitr celebrations marking the end of Ramadan, there's always something happening that's worth capturing and sharing with the world.Frequently Asked QuestionsWhich Country Is Maldives Located In?Maldives is located in South Asia, in the Indian Ocean. It's a stunning country consisting of 1190 coral islands grouped into about 26 atolls.We, as travelers, are captivated by its natural beauty and isolation. The Maldives offers a unique living experience, with its beautiful coral reefs and luxury resorts.The official language spoken is Dhivehi (Mahl), and the capital city is Male. Maldives truly is a paradise on Earth.Where Is Maldives in Google Earth?When exploring the stunning beaches of Maldives, we were amazed by the crystal-clear waters and powdery white sand.Snorkeling and diving allowed us to uncover the underwater wonders of Maldives, with vibrant coral reefs teeming with colorful fish and other marine life.And let's not forget about the luxury resorts in Maldives, where we indulged in world-class amenities, breathtaking views, and impeccable service.It's no wonder that Maldives is a dream destination for travelers seeking a tropical paradise.Where Is the Maldives Close To?The Maldives is close to India and Sri Lanka, making it an ideal destination for travelers looking to explore the Indian Ocean. With its stunning coral reefs, luxury resorts, and abundant marine life, the Maldives offers popular tourist attractions like swimming, snorkeling, and spotting unique sea creatures.The best time to visit is during the dry season from November to April, when the weather is sunny and the waters are calm, perfect for enjoying activities and water sports.How Many Islands Are in the Maldives?There are approximately 1,190 islands in the Maldives, making it a paradise for anyone seeking a tropical getaway.These islands offer a diverse range of tourist attractions, from stunning coral reefs to luxurious resorts.In addition to the natural beauty, the Maldives is also rich in local culture, with a 100% Islamic population.Underwater activities like swimming and snorkeling are a must-do here, as the marine life is abundant and breathtaking.ConclusionAs we explore the stunning Maldives Island on Google Maps, we're reminded of the extraordinary beauty that exists in the world.The captivating beaches, vibrant coral reefs, and diverse wildlife create a paradise that's truly awe-inspiring.Whether you're a local or a tourist, this interactive map allows you to immerse yourself in the wonders of the Maldives and discover its hidden treasures.So, grab your virtual snorkel and get ready for a journey of exploration and wonder on the Maldives Island. submitted by Sweet-Count2557 to worldkidstravel [link] [comments] |
2024.06.07 21:08 Time_Rest1007 Sharing my full story before I go
Iâve (26M) struggled with depression and some suicidal ideation on and off since I was 16. It was a long road and took a lot of work on myself and countless hours of therapy, but around the end of 2023, I was in what I now consider to be the peak of my life. I was working a job I mostly liked, two semesters away from finishing my bachelorâs degree online and exercising almost every other day. After years of loneliness, I finally found a friend group I really adored spending time with, and I had a boyfriend with whom I hadnât even realized I had fallen in love, whom Iâd seen for about 6 months. For perhaps the first time, I had a generally positive outlook, I felt confident and attractive, and I had so much going for me. I had no clue that I was about to make a decision that would significantly alter that course and steer me off into the deepest, darkest depression and most relentless desire to end it all that Iâve ever felt. This is a very long and personal post about my decision to have surgery that I now, in hindsight, believe to have been unnecessary. The surgery itself has left me with chronic pain and probably lifelong negative consequences that are far worse than anything I ever experienced prior. Iâve kept most of this to myself other than sharing it with my therapist, and although Iâm on the ledge, I think writing it all down and putting it out there may calm me somewhat. I havenât spared some graphic details of some of the more sensitive changes to my body because I want this to be as detailed and accurate as possible. And anyway, why should I care? I may be dead soon anyway... My hope is that if I share my story, someone, somewhere, might benefit from it and might not make the same mistake I did that has me sincerely wanting to off myself. So here it goes.
Around NovembeDecember 2023, I started experiencing some strange stabbing pain in my upper right abdomen that would come on suddenly and then go away for no obvious reason. I also thought I saw trace amounts of blood in my stool, and this concerned me enough that I reached out to my primary care doctor at the beginning of January. My doctor is always booked for months, so they told me to go to the emergency room. The ER was packed, and I ended up sitting in the waiting room for about eight hours in between going for an ultrasound and a CT scan. I was getting very tired of waiting and was about ready to give up and leave as I had to work early in the morning the next day. Looking back, I wish I had left. Just before I was about to leave, they called me back and told me that they found something on the CT scan called an intussusception in my small bowel. This is a condition where the intestine gets caught on a âlead pointâ and folds in on itself, sort of like a telescope. It is most often found in infants and is very rarely found in people my age, yet I was told it is a medical emergency because the tissue of my bowel could die if left untreated, and/or the lead point could be a potentially cancerous tumor. They admitted me and told me they would scan me again in the morning because, despite the severity, there was a chance it could resolve. Hearing that I would be staying overnight shocked me, as I had never been hospitalized before, having always been in good physical health. I have never had digestive issues in the past, Iâve never been diagnosed with Crohnâs disease or ulcerative colitis or anything of the sort, and I had never heard of this condition, but every medical professional I spoke to seemed very concerned that I had it. They didnât have a bed for me in the hospital at that point, so I had to sleep in the packed and quite chaotic ER. About an hour after I was given a bed, a man was admitted a few feet from me who was very aggressive with all of the nurses, screaming and cursing at them throughout the night. I was not allowed to eat or drink, given the possibility of surgery. I struggled to get any sleep in that environment and woke up the next morning feeling very lethargic.
The surgeon and resident came by my bed and we spoke briefly. The surgeon explained that while the condition was serious, if it continued to show up in my CT scans, they could do minimally invasive laparoscopic surgery to resect the piece of my bowel that was telescoped and stitch it back together. I feel they really downplayed the severity of this procedure. I will never forget them saying, âItâs such a small piece of your bowel, you wonât miss it.â They felt that since I was young and otherwise healthy, I should have no problem making a full recovery. I felt confident in the fact that I was speaking to the chief of surgery at the hospital, who has more than twenty years of experience in the field. Then they brought me for my second scan, and within a few hours I was told the intussusception had not resolved. I was admitted to a hospital room, and the resident came to discuss moving forward with the surgery. My first impulse was âabsolutely not,â but I quickly second-guessed myself. Everything I saw in the limited research I was able to do on my phone stated that this was indeed a serious condition that warranted surgery. In that moment, it seemed like the reasons not to go through with it were somewhat vain, such as not wanting the scars and having to forgo lifting weights at the gym for some time. Though it didnât quite make sense to me that they wanted to operate on the complete opposite side of my body from the one that was in pain and which brought me into the ER in the first place. When I asked the resident about this, he responded, âWe donât understand how referred pain works,â Okay, fair enough, I thought. More than anything, I thought that if a doctor was in front of me, telling me what was going on with my body was an emergency situation that warranted immediate surgery, I should probably listen to them. Theyâre the âexperts,â after all. And given the state I was in, having been in the hospital for over 24 hours at that point, running on very little sleep and nothing to eat, I donât think I really had the capacity to fully parse what was going on, but given the doctors level of concern, it seemed like I urgently had to make a decision. After about an hour of talking it over with my mother, even though I never had any pain in the area they were about to operate on, I signed the consent papers. (Biggest fucking mistake of my life) I remember they listed risks of things that could go wrong during or shortly after the surgery, such as infection, bowel perforation, etc. They did not mention the procedureâs possible long-term consequences, and neither the surgeon nor resident ever mentioned possible long-term complications, and I didnât think to ask. I had no experience with this kind of thing whatsoever; I am not a doctor, I donât know any doctors, and no one I know has ever had abdominal surgery⊠I was so naive to trust these people, but I did. In fact, I trusted them so much that I was not terribly scared of the procedure I was about to undergo. Again, I chalk that up to the reduced mental capacity I was in, given a tough overnight stay in the ER. I remember the adrenaline rush as I was wheeled down to the operating room. I was singing one of my favorite songs in my head, hyping myself up for the procedure ahead of me. The last thing I remember was one of the OR nurses telling my mother not to worry, that the surgeon was âthe best,â and that they had even operated on her husband.
I woke up high as a kite. I heard one of the nurses say I had been given fentanyl, which I remember freaked me out; I had forgotten it is more than a street drug and actually has legitimate uses. The procedure had gone fine, and I was discharged only a day or two later, with my only guidance upon discharge being not to lift heavy objects and âtake it easy,â I was in some pain, but it was to be expected at that point and was well controlled by combining Tylenol and Advil. The surgeon called later that week to inform me that the pathology report had come back and that the lead point was simply âsome swollen lymph nodes,â I was relieved to hear that it was not cancer. At my follow-up appointment two weeks later, I reported feeling pretty much fine. I had been granted medical leave and short-term disability from my job for six weeks following the surgery. This was the full length of time after which the surgeons expected I would recover fully. I used the time off to hang out with friends and my boyfriend and to focus on finishing what would have been my final semester of school. Those were the last few weeks that I felt somewhat normal despite what I had just gone through. I had no idea what was about to come.
About 5 weeks post-op is when I first began experiencing worse pain deep in my abdomen, right where I had the surgery, plus the pain in my upper right abdomen had not gone away. This new pain is crampy, yet sometimes stabbing, and had seemed to worsen with activity; I have experienced it every single day, nearly every hour, to varying degrees, since the beginning of February. That was also when I began regularly bloating and having difficulty going to the bathroom. No matter how hard I try to push, I canât fully evacuate my bowels. (This is a nightmare for someone who has receptive anal sex like I used to do regularly. It is now impossible). With the emergence of all these symptoms, I felt very, very scared that there was something else wrong with me. And, of course, this all happened in the week when I was set to return to work. I have a physically demanding customer service job, and I was in so much pain that I found it impossible to be nice to the customers or even stand, so I left and, thankfully, was allowed to take the rest of the week off to figure things out. I obviously called my surgeon, but it also prompted me to do deeper research into the complications that can develop following abdominal surgery. I began pouring over medical journals, trying to figure out what was going on in my body on my own. That was when I first learned about âsurgical adhesions.â These are fibrous bands of scar tissue that can develop due to the incisions made during surgery and handling of the bowel. As your body heals from the trauma of surgery, this scar tissue forms and can cause your intestine to stick to other organs or structures in your body. According to medical literature, they form in 90% of all patients who undergo abdominal surgery, but not all adhesions cause complications like what Iâve experienced. They are not easy to diagnose as they are impossible to visualize on any imaging tests, they do not go away on their own (itâs scar tissue), and the only treatment is surgically cutting them apart, which is risky, given that thereâs a strong chance they will just grow back and possibly be even worse. This was obviously terrifying to me, but when I asked the surgeon about this, they said, âThereâs very little chance thatâs whatâs happening,â given that the procedure was laparoscopic, not open. I scheduled another appointment with them, wherein they seemed quite dismissive of my concerns. They said the pain was likely âincisionalâ (it wasnât and isnât) but that they would order another CT scan so we could see what was going on. They also wrote me a script for gabapentin, an anticonvulsant meant to prevent seizures that is used off-label to treat pain and anxiety, with the qualifier that they would not write a script for anything stronger, basically implying that I was seeking narcotics, which was not at all the case, and which I found extremely offensive.
My next CT scan was scheduled about a month following that appointment in early March. In the interim, I began taking the gabapentin. I used more than I was prescribed because it was the only way I was able to control the pain and allow myself to feel comfortable at work. I didnât anticipate the changes it would cause to my mood and behavior. In addition to feeling depressed and scared, I was also becoming easily emotionally dysregulated in ways I believe I would have been able to control prior to taking the medication. But when I didnât take it, I was in pretty bad pain almost all the time, and I didnât understand why at that point. My boyfriend noticed these changes in my mood and decided he needed space from me to protect his emotional wellbeing. I didnât blame him then, and I still donât, but I miss him terribly. We were supposed to remain âfriends,â and he at least pretended he wanted that for a bit of time. At that point, I became determined to ween myself off the gabapentin and continue to work on improving my mental and physical health, for myself, but also for him; as I said, I really loved him. Later that week, after we split, I had my CT scan, and the surgeon called to tell me that it looked like I was just constipated. They advised me to take Miralax daily to ease that constipation, which should hopefully make me feel better. To me, this seemed like a huge relief. I started taking the Miralax, and at that point, I started exercising and lifting weights again. I also started trying to bulk up again, which had been an important part of my fitness journey prior to the surgery.
So April rolls around, and I am still trying my best to resume my normal life, which felt possible again at that point. I did end up successfully weening myself off gabapentin. With this newfound reinvigoration, I attempted to get my boyfriend back. We would make plans, but then he would reschedule again and again. Eventually, he kept our plans, and we met up for a talk in the park. We obviously had a lot to talk about in our relationship, at which point he told me that he simply was not attracted to me anymore. This was devastating news, as that was the first time I realized it was really over. Before I had thought that if I could show him how much I was trying to get back to the place I was before the surgery, he would stick around, but that was the moment I realized it was impossible for him to see me in the light he once did. Nevertheless, I tried to push on, kept going to the gym, and kept trying to get my life back. I was still seeing my friends regularly, and I was able to push myself to get through work, even though it was painful and hard. Plus, I was still working on my degree despite not feeling able to give it my best effort and focus with everything going on. I was still motivated to keep going, and I thought things might improve from there.
Well, lo and behold, they did not. One day in early April, I was sitting on the couch, sort of mindlessly snacking on some almonds before I was set to go have drinks with friends and see a concert. Immediately afterward, I felt that pain again in my abdomen. Despite that, I was really excited to see my friends and see the show. We met at a bar, where I had three cocktails before we made our way to the venue. I drank one or two more while the opener played. But by the time the headliner came on, I ended up in so much pain that I told my friends quite regrettably that I had to leave. I walked home and ate a small snack, wrongfully thinking it might make me feel better, before popping a melatonin and heading to bed. I woke up around 2 AM in the most intense pain I have experienced both before and after the surgery. I was extremely bloated and unable to pass gas or move my bowels. I had read somewhere that this was a sign of bowel obstruction and that I needed to seek medical attention. I made the decision to go to the ER. I walked down the stairs to leave, and as I did, I felt myself begin to vomit. Thankfully I was able to make it to the sink as I puked up what I imagine was that snack Iâd had before bed. Shortly after, I arrived at the ER, this time choosing a different facility from the one where the surgeon had dismissed all of my post-surgical concerns. I was quickly admitted and given another CT scan. They confirmed my bowel was obstructed and told me they would place a tube into my nose down to my stomach to try to pump some of the blockage out. I asked the ER doctor if I was going to need to have surgery, to which he replied, âItâs a strong possibility.â This was horrifying to me. Getting the tube inserted into my nose was so painful, and I was screaming in agony the entire time. Then they gave me morphine, and I passed out. The details and timeline of that hospital stay are somewhat hazy in my mind, but I ended up being there for four days, over which I was given a âgastro graph challengeâ test, wherein I was instructed to drink a contrast element which would be visualized by a series of Xrays so the doctors could monitor if anything was passing through my intestines. I met with another surgeon, whom I found to be much more attentive than my prior one, or at least simply possessing superior active listening skills. In fact, I felt that all of the staff at this second hospital were a lot more sensitive to my needs than the first. I really wish I had gone there the first time, as itâs the best hospital in the city. Add that to my long list of mistakes⊠Anyway.
Despite her more positive demeanor, she recommended another emergency surgery, this time a laparotomy (open) surgery to resect my bowel a second time. Her hypothesis was that the anastomosis (the medical term for the connection formed between my bowel loops during the first surgery) could be too narrow to allow food to pass through properly. I asked this new surgeon if it was possible I had adhesions causing this problem, and unlike the last one, she said, âItâs possible,â especially given that these symptoms began emerging a few weeks after the first surgery. But, like I said, they donât really know whatâs going on until they cut you open and go in there. Given that I am now much more aware of the risks of surgery and the risks of having a second procedure, I was fervently against going under the knife again. I simply couldnât handle it. So I opted for conservative management, which meant waiting it out, taking an enema, and eventually getting back on a liquid and then solid diet. Thankfully, sitting in the hospital being NPO (Latin for nil per os - ânothing by mouthâ) and taking the gastro graph made it pass eventually, and I didnât have to have a second surgery. I was discharged from the hospital with instructions to schedule another diagnostic test called a âsmall bowel series,â in which they use xrays to track the amount of time it takes liquid to pass through your digestive system and to start a âlow residueâ diet- meaning eating very little fiber. Suddenly gone from my diet are all of the fruits and vegetables I once loved, and I canât eat nuts or seeds (It seems to me that those almonds caused the obstruction in the first place). Basically, Iâm now forced to exist on a diet of the most processed foods imaginable because although they are demonstrably unhealthy, that is all that my body is now able to safely digest.
After leaving that second hospital stay, I proceeded to delve even further into research about not only long-term abdominal surgery complications such as adhesions but also the nature of adult intussusceptions in general. I once again started furiously googling, finding results from medical journals and personal accounts from Reddit. I came to the conclusion that intussusceptions in adults, while ostensibly serious, have a strong possibility of resolving on their own, especially when they present in the small bowel, in the absence of vomiting (I never vomited before going to the hospital in January), when there is no obvious lead point (they couldnât see it on my scans) and there is no obstruction (I was never obstructed before the surgery). Furthermore, while intussusception does present with blood in the stool, it is usually described as âcurrant jelly stoolâ (something I donât recommend you google because it looks atrocious), which is not even close to the trace amounts of blood I saw in my own stool. (But no one ever asked, so how would I know the difference?) I never experienced any pain whatsoever in the area of my small bowel before the surgery. And yet I was told by a doctor that I was experiencing a medical emergency, which might have been caused by some malignant growth, which scared the shit out of me and made me feel at the time that immediate action was necessary. At one point, I even found a paper that attributed intussusception to cannabis use, which I had engaged in that week. In these papers, the authors highlight that these intussusceptions were transient and did not require surgical intervention. And on the point of adhesions, they are not easily diagnosed, and they are not easily treatable without surgical intervention; and said intervention is a cache 22 scenario because every time you get cut open, you risk growing back even more adhesions.
With all of this knowledge, I became absolutely distraught. I was never informed that by having this procedure performed, I would be at this increased risk of experiencing bowel obstruction. Like most people, I literally had no idea what an âadhesionâ even was. What made me lose hope the most was that it seems as if doctors do these surgeries and simply ignore adhesion as a consequence because they donât have any feasible way to prevent it or treat it without potentially creating more adhesion. So, although I was released from the hospital having avoided a second surgery, I felt more lost and hopeless than ever. I simply couldnât cope with the realization that this would be something I would deal with for the rest of my life, something I couldâve avoided had I never agreed to get the first surgery because although I had that original pain I mentioned earlier- which has still continued to this day, it wasnât and isnât anything close to how excruciating the obstruction was, and it wasnât really disrupting my life in the way the post-surgical pain has. But under the guidance of doctors, I opted to permanently alter my body, and thereâs no going back. I feel so incredibly stupid for being deceived by these âmedical professionalsâ who didnât take the time to understand what was actually going on with me and chose to take an overly aggressive course of action that has left me permanently altered, in pain, and completely diminished my quality of life.
That week after leaving the hospital was truly the most suicidal I have ever felt. As I mentioned, Iâve dealt with suicidal ideation on and off since my adolescence. Iâve always had latent thoughts about wanting to die, wanting to escape, feeling like Iâm hopeless and thereâs no use trying to better myself. But this time, the desire to end my life was so much more intense. I became extremely disassociated from everything in life. In that week following my second hospitalization, there was absolutely nothing that could bring me joy. Before the surgery, I used to find deep pleasure in simply walking around my neighborhood for at least an hour every day. But I couldnât do it anymore because walking gives me time to think, and thinking is too painful. It always leads back to the realization of the way I am now. Nothing could make me smile or laugh. I couldnât even listen to music, one of my favorite things in the world. I became completely devoid of all emotions as my research transitioned away from my various new ailments and into ways I could end my life.
The rest of April and May passed by in a blur. Over that time, Iâve had two more appointments with the surgeons I met at the second hospital, a small bowel study (a more in-depth series of x-rays tracking the transit time of liquid through the GI tract), and a colonoscopy and endoscopy. Those have not yielded any significant findings as to what is going on, making me believe even more that all of these problems are being caused by adhesions. However, the small bowel study did reveal that my stomach is slightly herniated, which I believe is the cause of the original pain that I sought care for in the first place. At my last appointment, I was told to see a âsmall bowel specialistâ GI doctor. But that was three weeks ago, and I havenât even been able to get an appointment with them. Iâm on a waiting list, but I imagine Iâm looking at many months before I can get an appointment. I donât know what theyâre going to do for me. I donât know that thereâs anything that can be done besides more surgery, and I am very fearful about that. I fear the only way that these fucking doctors who fucked me up in the first place are going to even try to help me is if Iâm obstructed again. But the changes to my diet, as much as I hate them, have kept me in a more manageable amount of pain and out of the hospital for now.
It is now June, and I am shocked that I am still here and confused about what to do now. Despite the diet, I still feel pain and discomfort at some point in the day, every single day. I think about wanting this all to end all of the time. I have not attempted again, though I did pick up another nitrogen tank, and Iâve also stockpiled a 90 day supply of my antidepressant, so at least I have the option. I am drinking two bottles of wine or half a bottle of vodka nearly every night. Alcohol is the only thing that seems to quiet my thoughts enough to get through each evening. I am sitting here in a cycle where I think about doing it, but I still feel obligated to go to work, to see my friends, and to feed my cat. My life has continued, but I donât feel like Iâm living anymore; I merely exist. I feel extremely unattractive because although I look the same as I did on the outside, Iâm overcome with never ending emotional pain and turmoil on the inside. I am now unable to take care of myself and be on top of my life the way I used to be. After the second hospitalization, I dropped out of school and have no plans to continue, as I wonât need a bachelorâs degree when Iâm dead. I have stopped exercising altogether, as it feels like thereâs no point in trying to improve or take care of a body that has been permanently broken. Through all of this, Iâve lost much of my confidence and I feel I have completely lost my identity. I miss that old me so much. I miss my boyfriend so much. Plans with my friends are sometimes the only thing that keeps me going, and I am extremely grateful for them, but despite their continued presence, I feel extremely isolated and lonely. Itâs hard to explain what Iâve been through to people without the context of all that has happened. I donât have the energy to share it with them. And I feel if I speak about what Iâm going through, I will feel like a burden, killing the vibe, and I donât want that.
I have never felt this alienated from my body and from everything in life. I cannot cope with the fact that things will never be how they were before. I feel so incredibly distraught that I threw away what was shaping up to be the best days of my life. Thereâs nothing I or anyone else can do to change what has happened to me. It took me such a long time to get to the place I was in before the surgery. It was a brief and beautiful couple of months, but itâs over, and thereâs no way for me to return. Even if there was, I donât have that much of a fight left in me. I feel like such a fucking idiot for allowing the doctors to do this to me. I look around at all the happy people around me and know that I am dragging them down with my depression. I am tired of feeling helpless and like a burden on everyone I love. I am a shell of the person I once was. Ending it all is the singular thing thatâs in my control. It is the only way to end all of this pain and suffering and stop the concern and confusion of my loved ones. I know that my exit will be painful to them, but they will all get over it in time. But me? I donât think I will ever get over this. I will never be able to accept this horrible choice that I made. I am so tired of living this way. I am supposed to turn 27 soon, but I really donât want to live to see my birthday. I have nothing to celebrate. My life is completely, irreversibly fucked. I donât know when I will go, but it will be sooner rather than later. I am so sorry to everyone. I know this will hurt. I just canât go on living this way. To all the people I care about, know that I love you, and I am so thankful you were part of my life. I know you will all go on to do great things without me. This entire saga has been unbearable; my life has spun out of control, and suicide is the only way to end my suffering. Iâm sorry. Iâm signing off.
TL;DR: Doctors performed a surgery I now think was unnecessary and the complications make me want to kill myself.
submitted by Time_Rest1007 to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]
Around NovembeDecember 2023, I started experiencing some strange stabbing pain in my upper right abdomen that would come on suddenly and then go away for no obvious reason. I also thought I saw trace amounts of blood in my stool, and this concerned me enough that I reached out to my primary care doctor at the beginning of January. My doctor is always booked for months, so they told me to go to the emergency room. The ER was packed, and I ended up sitting in the waiting room for about eight hours in between going for an ultrasound and a CT scan. I was getting very tired of waiting and was about ready to give up and leave as I had to work early in the morning the next day. Looking back, I wish I had left. Just before I was about to leave, they called me back and told me that they found something on the CT scan called an intussusception in my small bowel. This is a condition where the intestine gets caught on a âlead pointâ and folds in on itself, sort of like a telescope. It is most often found in infants and is very rarely found in people my age, yet I was told it is a medical emergency because the tissue of my bowel could die if left untreated, and/or the lead point could be a potentially cancerous tumor. They admitted me and told me they would scan me again in the morning because, despite the severity, there was a chance it could resolve. Hearing that I would be staying overnight shocked me, as I had never been hospitalized before, having always been in good physical health. I have never had digestive issues in the past, Iâve never been diagnosed with Crohnâs disease or ulcerative colitis or anything of the sort, and I had never heard of this condition, but every medical professional I spoke to seemed very concerned that I had it. They didnât have a bed for me in the hospital at that point, so I had to sleep in the packed and quite chaotic ER. About an hour after I was given a bed, a man was admitted a few feet from me who was very aggressive with all of the nurses, screaming and cursing at them throughout the night. I was not allowed to eat or drink, given the possibility of surgery. I struggled to get any sleep in that environment and woke up the next morning feeling very lethargic.
The surgeon and resident came by my bed and we spoke briefly. The surgeon explained that while the condition was serious, if it continued to show up in my CT scans, they could do minimally invasive laparoscopic surgery to resect the piece of my bowel that was telescoped and stitch it back together. I feel they really downplayed the severity of this procedure. I will never forget them saying, âItâs such a small piece of your bowel, you wonât miss it.â They felt that since I was young and otherwise healthy, I should have no problem making a full recovery. I felt confident in the fact that I was speaking to the chief of surgery at the hospital, who has more than twenty years of experience in the field. Then they brought me for my second scan, and within a few hours I was told the intussusception had not resolved. I was admitted to a hospital room, and the resident came to discuss moving forward with the surgery. My first impulse was âabsolutely not,â but I quickly second-guessed myself. Everything I saw in the limited research I was able to do on my phone stated that this was indeed a serious condition that warranted surgery. In that moment, it seemed like the reasons not to go through with it were somewhat vain, such as not wanting the scars and having to forgo lifting weights at the gym for some time. Though it didnât quite make sense to me that they wanted to operate on the complete opposite side of my body from the one that was in pain and which brought me into the ER in the first place. When I asked the resident about this, he responded, âWe donât understand how referred pain works,â Okay, fair enough, I thought. More than anything, I thought that if a doctor was in front of me, telling me what was going on with my body was an emergency situation that warranted immediate surgery, I should probably listen to them. Theyâre the âexperts,â after all. And given the state I was in, having been in the hospital for over 24 hours at that point, running on very little sleep and nothing to eat, I donât think I really had the capacity to fully parse what was going on, but given the doctors level of concern, it seemed like I urgently had to make a decision. After about an hour of talking it over with my mother, even though I never had any pain in the area they were about to operate on, I signed the consent papers. (Biggest fucking mistake of my life) I remember they listed risks of things that could go wrong during or shortly after the surgery, such as infection, bowel perforation, etc. They did not mention the procedureâs possible long-term consequences, and neither the surgeon nor resident ever mentioned possible long-term complications, and I didnât think to ask. I had no experience with this kind of thing whatsoever; I am not a doctor, I donât know any doctors, and no one I know has ever had abdominal surgery⊠I was so naive to trust these people, but I did. In fact, I trusted them so much that I was not terribly scared of the procedure I was about to undergo. Again, I chalk that up to the reduced mental capacity I was in, given a tough overnight stay in the ER. I remember the adrenaline rush as I was wheeled down to the operating room. I was singing one of my favorite songs in my head, hyping myself up for the procedure ahead of me. The last thing I remember was one of the OR nurses telling my mother not to worry, that the surgeon was âthe best,â and that they had even operated on her husband.
I woke up high as a kite. I heard one of the nurses say I had been given fentanyl, which I remember freaked me out; I had forgotten it is more than a street drug and actually has legitimate uses. The procedure had gone fine, and I was discharged only a day or two later, with my only guidance upon discharge being not to lift heavy objects and âtake it easy,â I was in some pain, but it was to be expected at that point and was well controlled by combining Tylenol and Advil. The surgeon called later that week to inform me that the pathology report had come back and that the lead point was simply âsome swollen lymph nodes,â I was relieved to hear that it was not cancer. At my follow-up appointment two weeks later, I reported feeling pretty much fine. I had been granted medical leave and short-term disability from my job for six weeks following the surgery. This was the full length of time after which the surgeons expected I would recover fully. I used the time off to hang out with friends and my boyfriend and to focus on finishing what would have been my final semester of school. Those were the last few weeks that I felt somewhat normal despite what I had just gone through. I had no idea what was about to come.
About 5 weeks post-op is when I first began experiencing worse pain deep in my abdomen, right where I had the surgery, plus the pain in my upper right abdomen had not gone away. This new pain is crampy, yet sometimes stabbing, and had seemed to worsen with activity; I have experienced it every single day, nearly every hour, to varying degrees, since the beginning of February. That was also when I began regularly bloating and having difficulty going to the bathroom. No matter how hard I try to push, I canât fully evacuate my bowels. (This is a nightmare for someone who has receptive anal sex like I used to do regularly. It is now impossible). With the emergence of all these symptoms, I felt very, very scared that there was something else wrong with me. And, of course, this all happened in the week when I was set to return to work. I have a physically demanding customer service job, and I was in so much pain that I found it impossible to be nice to the customers or even stand, so I left and, thankfully, was allowed to take the rest of the week off to figure things out. I obviously called my surgeon, but it also prompted me to do deeper research into the complications that can develop following abdominal surgery. I began pouring over medical journals, trying to figure out what was going on in my body on my own. That was when I first learned about âsurgical adhesions.â These are fibrous bands of scar tissue that can develop due to the incisions made during surgery and handling of the bowel. As your body heals from the trauma of surgery, this scar tissue forms and can cause your intestine to stick to other organs or structures in your body. According to medical literature, they form in 90% of all patients who undergo abdominal surgery, but not all adhesions cause complications like what Iâve experienced. They are not easy to diagnose as they are impossible to visualize on any imaging tests, they do not go away on their own (itâs scar tissue), and the only treatment is surgically cutting them apart, which is risky, given that thereâs a strong chance they will just grow back and possibly be even worse. This was obviously terrifying to me, but when I asked the surgeon about this, they said, âThereâs very little chance thatâs whatâs happening,â given that the procedure was laparoscopic, not open. I scheduled another appointment with them, wherein they seemed quite dismissive of my concerns. They said the pain was likely âincisionalâ (it wasnât and isnât) but that they would order another CT scan so we could see what was going on. They also wrote me a script for gabapentin, an anticonvulsant meant to prevent seizures that is used off-label to treat pain and anxiety, with the qualifier that they would not write a script for anything stronger, basically implying that I was seeking narcotics, which was not at all the case, and which I found extremely offensive.
My next CT scan was scheduled about a month following that appointment in early March. In the interim, I began taking the gabapentin. I used more than I was prescribed because it was the only way I was able to control the pain and allow myself to feel comfortable at work. I didnât anticipate the changes it would cause to my mood and behavior. In addition to feeling depressed and scared, I was also becoming easily emotionally dysregulated in ways I believe I would have been able to control prior to taking the medication. But when I didnât take it, I was in pretty bad pain almost all the time, and I didnât understand why at that point. My boyfriend noticed these changes in my mood and decided he needed space from me to protect his emotional wellbeing. I didnât blame him then, and I still donât, but I miss him terribly. We were supposed to remain âfriends,â and he at least pretended he wanted that for a bit of time. At that point, I became determined to ween myself off the gabapentin and continue to work on improving my mental and physical health, for myself, but also for him; as I said, I really loved him. Later that week, after we split, I had my CT scan, and the surgeon called to tell me that it looked like I was just constipated. They advised me to take Miralax daily to ease that constipation, which should hopefully make me feel better. To me, this seemed like a huge relief. I started taking the Miralax, and at that point, I started exercising and lifting weights again. I also started trying to bulk up again, which had been an important part of my fitness journey prior to the surgery.
So April rolls around, and I am still trying my best to resume my normal life, which felt possible again at that point. I did end up successfully weening myself off gabapentin. With this newfound reinvigoration, I attempted to get my boyfriend back. We would make plans, but then he would reschedule again and again. Eventually, he kept our plans, and we met up for a talk in the park. We obviously had a lot to talk about in our relationship, at which point he told me that he simply was not attracted to me anymore. This was devastating news, as that was the first time I realized it was really over. Before I had thought that if I could show him how much I was trying to get back to the place I was before the surgery, he would stick around, but that was the moment I realized it was impossible for him to see me in the light he once did. Nevertheless, I tried to push on, kept going to the gym, and kept trying to get my life back. I was still seeing my friends regularly, and I was able to push myself to get through work, even though it was painful and hard. Plus, I was still working on my degree despite not feeling able to give it my best effort and focus with everything going on. I was still motivated to keep going, and I thought things might improve from there.
Well, lo and behold, they did not. One day in early April, I was sitting on the couch, sort of mindlessly snacking on some almonds before I was set to go have drinks with friends and see a concert. Immediately afterward, I felt that pain again in my abdomen. Despite that, I was really excited to see my friends and see the show. We met at a bar, where I had three cocktails before we made our way to the venue. I drank one or two more while the opener played. But by the time the headliner came on, I ended up in so much pain that I told my friends quite regrettably that I had to leave. I walked home and ate a small snack, wrongfully thinking it might make me feel better, before popping a melatonin and heading to bed. I woke up around 2 AM in the most intense pain I have experienced both before and after the surgery. I was extremely bloated and unable to pass gas or move my bowels. I had read somewhere that this was a sign of bowel obstruction and that I needed to seek medical attention. I made the decision to go to the ER. I walked down the stairs to leave, and as I did, I felt myself begin to vomit. Thankfully I was able to make it to the sink as I puked up what I imagine was that snack Iâd had before bed. Shortly after, I arrived at the ER, this time choosing a different facility from the one where the surgeon had dismissed all of my post-surgical concerns. I was quickly admitted and given another CT scan. They confirmed my bowel was obstructed and told me they would place a tube into my nose down to my stomach to try to pump some of the blockage out. I asked the ER doctor if I was going to need to have surgery, to which he replied, âItâs a strong possibility.â This was horrifying to me. Getting the tube inserted into my nose was so painful, and I was screaming in agony the entire time. Then they gave me morphine, and I passed out. The details and timeline of that hospital stay are somewhat hazy in my mind, but I ended up being there for four days, over which I was given a âgastro graph challengeâ test, wherein I was instructed to drink a contrast element which would be visualized by a series of Xrays so the doctors could monitor if anything was passing through my intestines. I met with another surgeon, whom I found to be much more attentive than my prior one, or at least simply possessing superior active listening skills. In fact, I felt that all of the staff at this second hospital were a lot more sensitive to my needs than the first. I really wish I had gone there the first time, as itâs the best hospital in the city. Add that to my long list of mistakes⊠Anyway.
Despite her more positive demeanor, she recommended another emergency surgery, this time a laparotomy (open) surgery to resect my bowel a second time. Her hypothesis was that the anastomosis (the medical term for the connection formed between my bowel loops during the first surgery) could be too narrow to allow food to pass through properly. I asked this new surgeon if it was possible I had adhesions causing this problem, and unlike the last one, she said, âItâs possible,â especially given that these symptoms began emerging a few weeks after the first surgery. But, like I said, they donât really know whatâs going on until they cut you open and go in there. Given that I am now much more aware of the risks of surgery and the risks of having a second procedure, I was fervently against going under the knife again. I simply couldnât handle it. So I opted for conservative management, which meant waiting it out, taking an enema, and eventually getting back on a liquid and then solid diet. Thankfully, sitting in the hospital being NPO (Latin for nil per os - ânothing by mouthâ) and taking the gastro graph made it pass eventually, and I didnât have to have a second surgery. I was discharged from the hospital with instructions to schedule another diagnostic test called a âsmall bowel series,â in which they use xrays to track the amount of time it takes liquid to pass through your digestive system and to start a âlow residueâ diet- meaning eating very little fiber. Suddenly gone from my diet are all of the fruits and vegetables I once loved, and I canât eat nuts or seeds (It seems to me that those almonds caused the obstruction in the first place). Basically, Iâm now forced to exist on a diet of the most processed foods imaginable because although they are demonstrably unhealthy, that is all that my body is now able to safely digest.
After leaving that second hospital stay, I proceeded to delve even further into research about not only long-term abdominal surgery complications such as adhesions but also the nature of adult intussusceptions in general. I once again started furiously googling, finding results from medical journals and personal accounts from Reddit. I came to the conclusion that intussusceptions in adults, while ostensibly serious, have a strong possibility of resolving on their own, especially when they present in the small bowel, in the absence of vomiting (I never vomited before going to the hospital in January), when there is no obvious lead point (they couldnât see it on my scans) and there is no obstruction (I was never obstructed before the surgery). Furthermore, while intussusception does present with blood in the stool, it is usually described as âcurrant jelly stoolâ (something I donât recommend you google because it looks atrocious), which is not even close to the trace amounts of blood I saw in my own stool. (But no one ever asked, so how would I know the difference?) I never experienced any pain whatsoever in the area of my small bowel before the surgery. And yet I was told by a doctor that I was experiencing a medical emergency, which might have been caused by some malignant growth, which scared the shit out of me and made me feel at the time that immediate action was necessary. At one point, I even found a paper that attributed intussusception to cannabis use, which I had engaged in that week. In these papers, the authors highlight that these intussusceptions were transient and did not require surgical intervention. And on the point of adhesions, they are not easily diagnosed, and they are not easily treatable without surgical intervention; and said intervention is a cache 22 scenario because every time you get cut open, you risk growing back even more adhesions.
With all of this knowledge, I became absolutely distraught. I was never informed that by having this procedure performed, I would be at this increased risk of experiencing bowel obstruction. Like most people, I literally had no idea what an âadhesionâ even was. What made me lose hope the most was that it seems as if doctors do these surgeries and simply ignore adhesion as a consequence because they donât have any feasible way to prevent it or treat it without potentially creating more adhesion. So, although I was released from the hospital having avoided a second surgery, I felt more lost and hopeless than ever. I simply couldnât cope with the realization that this would be something I would deal with for the rest of my life, something I couldâve avoided had I never agreed to get the first surgery because although I had that original pain I mentioned earlier- which has still continued to this day, it wasnât and isnât anything close to how excruciating the obstruction was, and it wasnât really disrupting my life in the way the post-surgical pain has. But under the guidance of doctors, I opted to permanently alter my body, and thereâs no going back. I feel so incredibly stupid for being deceived by these âmedical professionalsâ who didnât take the time to understand what was actually going on with me and chose to take an overly aggressive course of action that has left me permanently altered, in pain, and completely diminished my quality of life.
That week after leaving the hospital was truly the most suicidal I have ever felt. As I mentioned, Iâve dealt with suicidal ideation on and off since my adolescence. Iâve always had latent thoughts about wanting to die, wanting to escape, feeling like Iâm hopeless and thereâs no use trying to better myself. But this time, the desire to end my life was so much more intense. I became extremely disassociated from everything in life. In that week following my second hospitalization, there was absolutely nothing that could bring me joy. Before the surgery, I used to find deep pleasure in simply walking around my neighborhood for at least an hour every day. But I couldnât do it anymore because walking gives me time to think, and thinking is too painful. It always leads back to the realization of the way I am now. Nothing could make me smile or laugh. I couldnât even listen to music, one of my favorite things in the world. I became completely devoid of all emotions as my research transitioned away from my various new ailments and into ways I could end my life.
The rest of April and May passed by in a blur. Over that time, Iâve had two more appointments with the surgeons I met at the second hospital, a small bowel study (a more in-depth series of x-rays tracking the transit time of liquid through the GI tract), and a colonoscopy and endoscopy. Those have not yielded any significant findings as to what is going on, making me believe even more that all of these problems are being caused by adhesions. However, the small bowel study did reveal that my stomach is slightly herniated, which I believe is the cause of the original pain that I sought care for in the first place. At my last appointment, I was told to see a âsmall bowel specialistâ GI doctor. But that was three weeks ago, and I havenât even been able to get an appointment with them. Iâm on a waiting list, but I imagine Iâm looking at many months before I can get an appointment. I donât know what theyâre going to do for me. I donât know that thereâs anything that can be done besides more surgery, and I am very fearful about that. I fear the only way that these fucking doctors who fucked me up in the first place are going to even try to help me is if Iâm obstructed again. But the changes to my diet, as much as I hate them, have kept me in a more manageable amount of pain and out of the hospital for now.
It is now June, and I am shocked that I am still here and confused about what to do now. Despite the diet, I still feel pain and discomfort at some point in the day, every single day. I think about wanting this all to end all of the time. I have not attempted again, though I did pick up another nitrogen tank, and Iâve also stockpiled a 90 day supply of my antidepressant, so at least I have the option. I am drinking two bottles of wine or half a bottle of vodka nearly every night. Alcohol is the only thing that seems to quiet my thoughts enough to get through each evening. I am sitting here in a cycle where I think about doing it, but I still feel obligated to go to work, to see my friends, and to feed my cat. My life has continued, but I donât feel like Iâm living anymore; I merely exist. I feel extremely unattractive because although I look the same as I did on the outside, Iâm overcome with never ending emotional pain and turmoil on the inside. I am now unable to take care of myself and be on top of my life the way I used to be. After the second hospitalization, I dropped out of school and have no plans to continue, as I wonât need a bachelorâs degree when Iâm dead. I have stopped exercising altogether, as it feels like thereâs no point in trying to improve or take care of a body that has been permanently broken. Through all of this, Iâve lost much of my confidence and I feel I have completely lost my identity. I miss that old me so much. I miss my boyfriend so much. Plans with my friends are sometimes the only thing that keeps me going, and I am extremely grateful for them, but despite their continued presence, I feel extremely isolated and lonely. Itâs hard to explain what Iâve been through to people without the context of all that has happened. I donât have the energy to share it with them. And I feel if I speak about what Iâm going through, I will feel like a burden, killing the vibe, and I donât want that.
I have never felt this alienated from my body and from everything in life. I cannot cope with the fact that things will never be how they were before. I feel so incredibly distraught that I threw away what was shaping up to be the best days of my life. Thereâs nothing I or anyone else can do to change what has happened to me. It took me such a long time to get to the place I was in before the surgery. It was a brief and beautiful couple of months, but itâs over, and thereâs no way for me to return. Even if there was, I donât have that much of a fight left in me. I feel like such a fucking idiot for allowing the doctors to do this to me. I look around at all the happy people around me and know that I am dragging them down with my depression. I am tired of feeling helpless and like a burden on everyone I love. I am a shell of the person I once was. Ending it all is the singular thing thatâs in my control. It is the only way to end all of this pain and suffering and stop the concern and confusion of my loved ones. I know that my exit will be painful to them, but they will all get over it in time. But me? I donât think I will ever get over this. I will never be able to accept this horrible choice that I made. I am so tired of living this way. I am supposed to turn 27 soon, but I really donât want to live to see my birthday. I have nothing to celebrate. My life is completely, irreversibly fucked. I donât know when I will go, but it will be sooner rather than later. I am so sorry to everyone. I know this will hurt. I just canât go on living this way. To all the people I care about, know that I love you, and I am so thankful you were part of my life. I know you will all go on to do great things without me. This entire saga has been unbearable; my life has spun out of control, and suicide is the only way to end my suffering. Iâm sorry. Iâm signing off.
TL;DR: Doctors performed a surgery I now think was unnecessary and the complications make me want to kill myself.
2024.06.07 21:07 LeeCloud27 The Life of Hakurei - False Madness on Brightest Night - Part 2
Five Minutes of Recovery LaterâŠ
âOkayâŠLet me understand this again.â Reimu began. âEach of you noticed something was off with the moon so you decided to go investigate. And it so happened we all followed the same trail to the bamboo forest, and noticing how the night had remained stagnant the moment we laid eyes on one another we assumed we were behind the incident. Am I right?â
âCorrectâ Sakuya said, standing alongside Remilia. To her left and right were Marisa and Youmu, who respectively stood by Alice and Yuyuko while Yukari was by Reimu.
âOkay good, and considering we came all the way here to the bamboo forest of the lost means we can clarify none of us here has anything to do with the moonâs replacement. So, does anyone know where we might find our true culprits?â
No one spoke up, save for Youmu who timidly raised her hand.
âUmâŠYuyuko-sama and I, when we entered the forest we noticed some lights east of here, but we were too caught up fighting to go check it out. Itâs possible that may be where the culprit is hiding.â
âOh, I noticed something too while making my way here, but it was a building; a mansion more specifically. I think the lights youâre referring to might be the mansion.â Alice said.
âA mansion?â Yukari wondered. âStrange, I never heard of a mansion existing in this part of Gensokyo.â
âDonât tell me itâs another foreign noble who came from the outside.â Reimu said, making a small glance over at Sakuya and Remilia. âBut now I know where to look next, so if you excuse me...â
Reimu moved past the group over the direction Youmu stated earlier, but Marisa rushed over and halted her path.
âWoah, hold on! What makes you think you can go over there alone, huh?â Marisa asked.
Reimu looked at her friend for a moment before replying, âI never said you couldnât come, did I?â
Her statement made Marisa pause for a second, showing an expression that was enough to make Reimu laugh a little.
âCâmon, letâs go beat up whoever stole the moon.â Reimu patted Marisaâs shoulder and walked past her, as did Yukari. Marisa turned around, not going to let the misconception get the best of her, so she wrapped her arm around Aliceâs waist and pulled her over while hopping on her broom.
âMarisa? What are you doing?â Alice asked with confusion.
âHey, Reimu!â Marisa got Reimuâs attention, along with everyone elseâs, âLast one thereâs a Nuppeppo!â She declared before blasting forward, with Alice clinging on tight so as to not fall. Reimu saw Marisa fly past her, and instantly she knew the proper response.
âItâs on.â She said, running and soon flying as fast as she could to catch up with the blazing magician. The others did the same, not wanting to be left behind.
â
Somewhere in the Bamboo Forest, Rumia remained astray. She passed by the same boulder three times, and couldnât tell which way was north. To make matters worse, she encountered a series of booby traps everywhere she tried to go. From constant pitfalls to makeshift ballistas that shot sharpened bamboo sticks; even coming across an anvil that hung high in the air above a plate of cheese for some reason. Nonetheless she managed to get through the traps, though much more fatigued.
âUgh, I donât know where I am, I nearly got punctured several times, and I canât seem to find Reimu or the others.â Rumia complained as she continued flying across the stalks. âNo wonder this place has the word âlostâ in its name. Hopefully Iâll find everyone soon.â
Despite her complaint, she kept moving forward, getting more lost as a result.
â
In an open area there laid a large old-fashioned mansion, surrounded by walls of bamboo at least ten feet tall. It looked like it was constructed the day before, despite its antique design. There was no wear or tear on the interior, no moss growing, no sign of decay anywhere. This mansion was known as Eientei, a home of rabbits and prominent figures, but mostly rabbits.
Standing by the mansionâs gate stood two figures in pink dresses with rabbit ears on their heads holding large wooden mallets. Though they looked human, theyâre a species of youkai, commonly referred to as earth rabbits, or just rabbits. They lived in the mansion, spending their days relaxing and having fun, while also ensuring no one came to disturb their home. Their positions were that of gate guards, tasked to keep intruders out; however, unlike most guards they were inattentive. Their eyes drooped from the desire to sleep and thoughts of going in eating mochi with the rest of their peers further kept away their attention.
âWhen will we switch with the others?â The first rabbit guard said with a yawn.
âWhen when?â The second rabbit guard spoke. âI donât like standing guard on night-shift, itâs boring.â
âBoring boring boring. Why canât we have fun fun? I like to have fun fun with friends friends.â The first rabbit hopped a little.
âFriends. Friends.â The second rabbit tilted her head back and forth. âI want mochi. Mochi. Mochi.â
âI also want mochi mochi mochi. How how long must we wait wait? I donât think any intruders will show up.â The first rabbit hopped and nodded her head.
âNo no. No intruders, no intruders.â The second rabbit shook her head.
âYes. No intruders-â
Suddenly zipping past the rabbit guards were a black-white and red-white, along with several figures donning different colored clothing of various degrees entering past the gate and breaking through the doors of the entrance hall into the mansion. Both rabbits gazed at the broken doors with stunned faces.
âOh no.â The first rabbit said.
âNo no no.â The second rabbit said.
The group consisting of humans, youkai, vampires and ghosts; whether partial or not, barged their way through the mansion. The rabbits who were casually roaming the place were caught off-guard by the speeding force of a three-quarter dozen. Many quickly fled out to safety, while those not as cowardly stood their guard with wooden mallets and bullets to spare. Yet despite their best defenses, they remained no match against what seemed to be an unstoppable force.
Further down the hallway, a couple rabbits, faster than others, ran to a particular rabbit that wore the same outfit as them, but had black wavy shoulder-length hair and wore a carrot-shaped necklace. Her name is Tewi Inaba, the White Hare.
âTewi-sama! Tewi-sama! Bad bad news!â One of the rabbits hastily said.
âVery bad, very bad!â The other rabbit spoke as hastily as her peer. âIntruders intruders!â
âIntruders? Here?â The Earth Rabbit named Tewi looked at her subordinates with some disbelief.
âYes yes yes! There are so many!â
âVery many very many!â
Based on their faces filled with anxiety and how often they looked back down the hall Tewi could tell they werenât lying. Furthermore, her ears detected sounds of bullets being shot out, growing closer and louder. As was part of the deal she made long ago with the owner of the mansion, she knew there would come a time when she would have to defend the place, even if it meant giving herself so others would be safe.
âOkay, go warn Reisen and Eirin, and make sure the princess is safe too. Iâll try to hinder the threats.â Tewi said.The rabbits were concerned if their leader could handle so many people on her own, but at the same time they also saw her as commendable. They thanked her before making their way further down the hall.
âOkay TewiâŠStay calm and count on your luck.â She gave herself a little pep talk, taking a deep breath as she saw the figures coming over now. A few rabbits were trying to flee, but fell victim to their bullets. After a quick analysis of what sheâs up against, she confirmed she was screwed.
Much further down the hall, another rabbit quickly and hurriedly went to every door she could find, placing seals left and right to ensure none could be opened. Though unlike most of the rabbits in Eientei, hers were longer and thinner, and she had long purple hair and red eyes. She also wore different clothes consisting of a black blazer, white buttoned shirt, a pinkish skirt and red shoes. Her name is Reisen Udongein Inaba, a Moon Rabbit.
âOkay, all the doors should be locked. Princess should now be safe.â She said with a hurried tone. âMaster should have the preparations ready to send the intruders out. Just a little more time and-â
Her left ear twitched. She looked down the hall with further worry. Something drew near. She formed her hand into the shape of a gun, and her eyes glowed dimly. Then coming into her sight weren't the intruders, rather Tewi as she flew towards Reisen before falling face-first into the ground, sliding further till coming to a stop by her feet.
âOwâŠâ She let out a long cry of ache.
âTewi! Are you okay!?â Reisen looked down at the other rabbit, her eyes wider than ever.
âIâm good, terrific. How about you, Reisen?â Tewi said with slight sarcasm. Reisen picked up her tone and got a bit angry.
âThis is no time for jokes, what happened to the intruders? Are they coming this way?â
âOh yeah, theyâll be here any second. Also, I think I broke a rib.â
âEh? You broke a-â
She stopped speaking for a moment when she saw a butterfly-shaped bullet flying right at her. She quickly dodged and counterattacked by shooting a bullet out of her hand. The bullet flew right over where Yuyuko was, only to be cut in half by Youmuâs blade. Both Youmu and Reisen held their stances, staring at the other with an odd sense of respect for the otherâs quick reaction. Soon after the rest of the incident resolving group arrived at the scene.
âOh crap.â Tewi looked back and made an immediate decision. âIâll leave the rest to you, Reisen!â She got back up and fled.
âT-Tewi!â Reisen called for her to come back, but it was no use.
âIs that the culprit, Yukari?â Reimu asked, to which Yukari shook her head no.
âNo, she looks different from the other rabbits, but I donât believe sheâs who weâre looking for.â Yukari said.
âMaybe sheâll tell us if we incapacitate her.â Alice said, readying more dolls with strings.
âLetâs not knock her out then, we need her awake for interrogation.â Marisa stated.
âAnd if she doesnât talk, weâll make her by any means.â Sakuya said with a threatening voice.
âAnd when weâre finished, sheâll make for a wonderful stew later.â Remilia spoke.
âMmmm, rabbit stew. Youmu, be sure to gather the necessary ingredients by the end of the week.â Yuyuko said with hunger. âOh, and donât forget to acquire some sparrows for tomorrowâs dinner.â Her request made Youmu look at her with bewilderment.
Reisenâs heart raced hearing what they had planned for her. She had to fight back now and give her master more time, so she did what only she could. She opened her eyes wide, causing a bright red glow which caught the group off-guard as they were blinded.
âAugh!!!â Some of them yelled, covering their eyes with their hands and arms. A few seconds later the light ceased, and when they uncovered their faces they were met with a dozen of the same person, all raising their hands as they let out bullets. The group, momentarily confused by the sudden number of copies, defended from the oncoming barrage, raising barriers while retaliating with bullets of their own. Soon it was like any other danmaku fight, with everyone zipping around trying to analyze the patterns of the bullets. A few of the Reisens were taken down, but most remained, still keeping the group on their toes.
While Remilia fought, she discerned something odd about her opponent. Her eyes, more keen than others, saw the differences in the copies, such as the length of the hair being a couple centimeters short, or the color of the skirt being less saturated. Making quick glances at the others, she pinpointed which was the real one, and immediately called her out.
âSakuya! Attack that one!â She said, Sakuya looked over where Remilia pointed and saw the Reisen which Reimu and Yukari were up against. Reisen caught Remilia and Sakuya rushing at her with knives and bats. She knew she couldnât hold her own against four people at once, so she had to retreat. She ran down the hall, as did her copies, all going separate directions. Reimu, Yukari, Sakuya and Remilia followed the original Reisen while Marisa, Alice, Youmu and Yuyuko followed a copy down a different part of the hallway, separating the group.
submitted by LeeCloud27 to touhou [link] [comments]
âOkayâŠLet me understand this again.â Reimu began. âEach of you noticed something was off with the moon so you decided to go investigate. And it so happened we all followed the same trail to the bamboo forest, and noticing how the night had remained stagnant the moment we laid eyes on one another we assumed we were behind the incident. Am I right?â
âCorrectâ Sakuya said, standing alongside Remilia. To her left and right were Marisa and Youmu, who respectively stood by Alice and Yuyuko while Yukari was by Reimu.
âOkay good, and considering we came all the way here to the bamboo forest of the lost means we can clarify none of us here has anything to do with the moonâs replacement. So, does anyone know where we might find our true culprits?â
No one spoke up, save for Youmu who timidly raised her hand.
âUmâŠYuyuko-sama and I, when we entered the forest we noticed some lights east of here, but we were too caught up fighting to go check it out. Itâs possible that may be where the culprit is hiding.â
âOh, I noticed something too while making my way here, but it was a building; a mansion more specifically. I think the lights youâre referring to might be the mansion.â Alice said.
âA mansion?â Yukari wondered. âStrange, I never heard of a mansion existing in this part of Gensokyo.â
âDonât tell me itâs another foreign noble who came from the outside.â Reimu said, making a small glance over at Sakuya and Remilia. âBut now I know where to look next, so if you excuse me...â
Reimu moved past the group over the direction Youmu stated earlier, but Marisa rushed over and halted her path.
âWoah, hold on! What makes you think you can go over there alone, huh?â Marisa asked.
Reimu looked at her friend for a moment before replying, âI never said you couldnât come, did I?â
Her statement made Marisa pause for a second, showing an expression that was enough to make Reimu laugh a little.
âCâmon, letâs go beat up whoever stole the moon.â Reimu patted Marisaâs shoulder and walked past her, as did Yukari. Marisa turned around, not going to let the misconception get the best of her, so she wrapped her arm around Aliceâs waist and pulled her over while hopping on her broom.
âMarisa? What are you doing?â Alice asked with confusion.
âHey, Reimu!â Marisa got Reimuâs attention, along with everyone elseâs, âLast one thereâs a Nuppeppo!â She declared before blasting forward, with Alice clinging on tight so as to not fall. Reimu saw Marisa fly past her, and instantly she knew the proper response.
âItâs on.â She said, running and soon flying as fast as she could to catch up with the blazing magician. The others did the same, not wanting to be left behind.
â
Somewhere in the Bamboo Forest, Rumia remained astray. She passed by the same boulder three times, and couldnât tell which way was north. To make matters worse, she encountered a series of booby traps everywhere she tried to go. From constant pitfalls to makeshift ballistas that shot sharpened bamboo sticks; even coming across an anvil that hung high in the air above a plate of cheese for some reason. Nonetheless she managed to get through the traps, though much more fatigued.
âUgh, I donât know where I am, I nearly got punctured several times, and I canât seem to find Reimu or the others.â Rumia complained as she continued flying across the stalks. âNo wonder this place has the word âlostâ in its name. Hopefully Iâll find everyone soon.â
Despite her complaint, she kept moving forward, getting more lost as a result.
â
In an open area there laid a large old-fashioned mansion, surrounded by walls of bamboo at least ten feet tall. It looked like it was constructed the day before, despite its antique design. There was no wear or tear on the interior, no moss growing, no sign of decay anywhere. This mansion was known as Eientei, a home of rabbits and prominent figures, but mostly rabbits.
Standing by the mansionâs gate stood two figures in pink dresses with rabbit ears on their heads holding large wooden mallets. Though they looked human, theyâre a species of youkai, commonly referred to as earth rabbits, or just rabbits. They lived in the mansion, spending their days relaxing and having fun, while also ensuring no one came to disturb their home. Their positions were that of gate guards, tasked to keep intruders out; however, unlike most guards they were inattentive. Their eyes drooped from the desire to sleep and thoughts of going in eating mochi with the rest of their peers further kept away their attention.
âWhen will we switch with the others?â The first rabbit guard said with a yawn.
âWhen when?â The second rabbit guard spoke. âI donât like standing guard on night-shift, itâs boring.â
âBoring boring boring. Why canât we have fun fun? I like to have fun fun with friends friends.â The first rabbit hopped a little.
âFriends. Friends.â The second rabbit tilted her head back and forth. âI want mochi. Mochi. Mochi.â
âI also want mochi mochi mochi. How how long must we wait wait? I donât think any intruders will show up.â The first rabbit hopped and nodded her head.
âNo no. No intruders, no intruders.â The second rabbit shook her head.
âYes. No intruders-â
Suddenly zipping past the rabbit guards were a black-white and red-white, along with several figures donning different colored clothing of various degrees entering past the gate and breaking through the doors of the entrance hall into the mansion. Both rabbits gazed at the broken doors with stunned faces.
âOh no.â The first rabbit said.
âNo no no.â The second rabbit said.
The group consisting of humans, youkai, vampires and ghosts; whether partial or not, barged their way through the mansion. The rabbits who were casually roaming the place were caught off-guard by the speeding force of a three-quarter dozen. Many quickly fled out to safety, while those not as cowardly stood their guard with wooden mallets and bullets to spare. Yet despite their best defenses, they remained no match against what seemed to be an unstoppable force.
Further down the hallway, a couple rabbits, faster than others, ran to a particular rabbit that wore the same outfit as them, but had black wavy shoulder-length hair and wore a carrot-shaped necklace. Her name is Tewi Inaba, the White Hare.
âTewi-sama! Tewi-sama! Bad bad news!â One of the rabbits hastily said.
âVery bad, very bad!â The other rabbit spoke as hastily as her peer. âIntruders intruders!â
âIntruders? Here?â The Earth Rabbit named Tewi looked at her subordinates with some disbelief.
âYes yes yes! There are so many!â
âVery many very many!â
Based on their faces filled with anxiety and how often they looked back down the hall Tewi could tell they werenât lying. Furthermore, her ears detected sounds of bullets being shot out, growing closer and louder. As was part of the deal she made long ago with the owner of the mansion, she knew there would come a time when she would have to defend the place, even if it meant giving herself so others would be safe.
âOkay, go warn Reisen and Eirin, and make sure the princess is safe too. Iâll try to hinder the threats.â Tewi said.The rabbits were concerned if their leader could handle so many people on her own, but at the same time they also saw her as commendable. They thanked her before making their way further down the hall.
âOkay TewiâŠStay calm and count on your luck.â She gave herself a little pep talk, taking a deep breath as she saw the figures coming over now. A few rabbits were trying to flee, but fell victim to their bullets. After a quick analysis of what sheâs up against, she confirmed she was screwed.
Much further down the hall, another rabbit quickly and hurriedly went to every door she could find, placing seals left and right to ensure none could be opened. Though unlike most of the rabbits in Eientei, hers were longer and thinner, and she had long purple hair and red eyes. She also wore different clothes consisting of a black blazer, white buttoned shirt, a pinkish skirt and red shoes. Her name is Reisen Udongein Inaba, a Moon Rabbit.
âOkay, all the doors should be locked. Princess should now be safe.â She said with a hurried tone. âMaster should have the preparations ready to send the intruders out. Just a little more time and-â
Her left ear twitched. She looked down the hall with further worry. Something drew near. She formed her hand into the shape of a gun, and her eyes glowed dimly. Then coming into her sight weren't the intruders, rather Tewi as she flew towards Reisen before falling face-first into the ground, sliding further till coming to a stop by her feet.
âOwâŠâ She let out a long cry of ache.
âTewi! Are you okay!?â Reisen looked down at the other rabbit, her eyes wider than ever.
âIâm good, terrific. How about you, Reisen?â Tewi said with slight sarcasm. Reisen picked up her tone and got a bit angry.
âThis is no time for jokes, what happened to the intruders? Are they coming this way?â
âOh yeah, theyâll be here any second. Also, I think I broke a rib.â
âEh? You broke a-â
She stopped speaking for a moment when she saw a butterfly-shaped bullet flying right at her. She quickly dodged and counterattacked by shooting a bullet out of her hand. The bullet flew right over where Yuyuko was, only to be cut in half by Youmuâs blade. Both Youmu and Reisen held their stances, staring at the other with an odd sense of respect for the otherâs quick reaction. Soon after the rest of the incident resolving group arrived at the scene.
âOh crap.â Tewi looked back and made an immediate decision. âIâll leave the rest to you, Reisen!â She got back up and fled.
âT-Tewi!â Reisen called for her to come back, but it was no use.
âIs that the culprit, Yukari?â Reimu asked, to which Yukari shook her head no.
âNo, she looks different from the other rabbits, but I donât believe sheâs who weâre looking for.â Yukari said.
âMaybe sheâll tell us if we incapacitate her.â Alice said, readying more dolls with strings.
âLetâs not knock her out then, we need her awake for interrogation.â Marisa stated.
âAnd if she doesnât talk, weâll make her by any means.â Sakuya said with a threatening voice.
âAnd when weâre finished, sheâll make for a wonderful stew later.â Remilia spoke.
âMmmm, rabbit stew. Youmu, be sure to gather the necessary ingredients by the end of the week.â Yuyuko said with hunger. âOh, and donât forget to acquire some sparrows for tomorrowâs dinner.â Her request made Youmu look at her with bewilderment.
Reisenâs heart raced hearing what they had planned for her. She had to fight back now and give her master more time, so she did what only she could. She opened her eyes wide, causing a bright red glow which caught the group off-guard as they were blinded.
âAugh!!!â Some of them yelled, covering their eyes with their hands and arms. A few seconds later the light ceased, and when they uncovered their faces they were met with a dozen of the same person, all raising their hands as they let out bullets. The group, momentarily confused by the sudden number of copies, defended from the oncoming barrage, raising barriers while retaliating with bullets of their own. Soon it was like any other danmaku fight, with everyone zipping around trying to analyze the patterns of the bullets. A few of the Reisens were taken down, but most remained, still keeping the group on their toes.
While Remilia fought, she discerned something odd about her opponent. Her eyes, more keen than others, saw the differences in the copies, such as the length of the hair being a couple centimeters short, or the color of the skirt being less saturated. Making quick glances at the others, she pinpointed which was the real one, and immediately called her out.
âSakuya! Attack that one!â She said, Sakuya looked over where Remilia pointed and saw the Reisen which Reimu and Yukari were up against. Reisen caught Remilia and Sakuya rushing at her with knives and bats. She knew she couldnât hold her own against four people at once, so she had to retreat. She ran down the hall, as did her copies, all going separate directions. Reimu, Yukari, Sakuya and Remilia followed the original Reisen while Marisa, Alice, Youmu and Yuyuko followed a copy down a different part of the hallway, separating the group.
2024.06.07 21:04 krispenkremes Dentist screwed up my filling and now I have an infection. Do I have a case?
I have no idea what to do. I need some guidance. I live in Indiana, and malpractice cases are almost IMPOSSIBLE to win unless a surgeon amputated the wrong body part/did surgery on the wrong person.
Backstory:: Back in October 2023, I got 4 fillings done in one appointment. It was not in my treatment plan that one was extremely deep, nor was I informed that it would possibly turn into a root canal. I was only told that very back right bottom tooth (#31 for me) was deep after the dentist drilled, and that he would put some medicine in it. As he was drilling, I complained that it hurt. None of my other teeth hurt during the procedure, and none of my teeth hurt before the procedure. They gave me another shot of numbing and carried on.
During the fillings, that one tooth still hurt as his assistant was filling it. She was STRUGGLING to fill all 4 teeth. Constantly complaining that my mouth was small, pushing and pulling on my face. After 2 hours of laying in the chair, I started sobbing. My cheeks hurt, the one back filling hurt, my jaw hurt. I did not get a cheek/lip guard offered to me. The assistant had to yank out the filling mold (the thing that goes around each tooth to maintain itsâ shape) and hurt my gums each time. Needless to say, I was incredibly sore for a couple of days.
Two days after those fillings, Iâm at an urgent care getting Angular Chelitis treatment on the corner of my mouth that was pulled and pushed on. I called my dentist and he said it was just from the friction. I could barely eat. It was so painful.
For about 3 months, I had pain off and on in that one tooth that hurt during the procedure. I had the tooth looked at on 3 separate occasions. The dentist just shaved down the filling to âfix my bite.â I pushed that there might be more, and he said I needed my impacted wisdom teeth out and that might be causing the pain in my tooth.
I just dealt with the pain. I couldnât get in to see an oral surgeon because it was not in my budget. I thought I could just wait and save.
Come May 17th, I woke up at 2 AM to excruciating pain in that tooth. Hot, constant throbbing and aching that couldnât be alleviated with OTC pain meds. I remember my dentist telling me that my wisdom teeth could cause a lot of pain. What did I do? Went and got my wisdom teeth out. All 4, surgically removed.
I had the worst recovery. Constant pain in that tooth that norco didnât touch. I went to my oral surgeon 3 times to address it. He put me on antibiotics to help with swelling in my throat and cheeks. Huh⊠pain went away?
By a week after my surgery, I felt great. I took all of my antibiotics as prescribed. Now Iâm out of antibiotics and the pain comes back. Worse this time. Got to the oral surgeon, he takes an x-ray. Finds that the filling I received in October is right on top of my nerve.
I immediately schedule an appointment with a new dentist. She confirms that the tooth is infected, dead, the filling is indeed touching my nerve, and the filling is chipped. I need a $3200 root canal and crown that I was never warned about.
Hmmm⊠It all makes sense. Is this negligence?? What can I do?
submitted by krispenkremes to legaladvice [link] [comments]
Backstory:: Back in October 2023, I got 4 fillings done in one appointment. It was not in my treatment plan that one was extremely deep, nor was I informed that it would possibly turn into a root canal. I was only told that very back right bottom tooth (#31 for me) was deep after the dentist drilled, and that he would put some medicine in it. As he was drilling, I complained that it hurt. None of my other teeth hurt during the procedure, and none of my teeth hurt before the procedure. They gave me another shot of numbing and carried on.
During the fillings, that one tooth still hurt as his assistant was filling it. She was STRUGGLING to fill all 4 teeth. Constantly complaining that my mouth was small, pushing and pulling on my face. After 2 hours of laying in the chair, I started sobbing. My cheeks hurt, the one back filling hurt, my jaw hurt. I did not get a cheek/lip guard offered to me. The assistant had to yank out the filling mold (the thing that goes around each tooth to maintain itsâ shape) and hurt my gums each time. Needless to say, I was incredibly sore for a couple of days.
Two days after those fillings, Iâm at an urgent care getting Angular Chelitis treatment on the corner of my mouth that was pulled and pushed on. I called my dentist and he said it was just from the friction. I could barely eat. It was so painful.
For about 3 months, I had pain off and on in that one tooth that hurt during the procedure. I had the tooth looked at on 3 separate occasions. The dentist just shaved down the filling to âfix my bite.â I pushed that there might be more, and he said I needed my impacted wisdom teeth out and that might be causing the pain in my tooth.
I just dealt with the pain. I couldnât get in to see an oral surgeon because it was not in my budget. I thought I could just wait and save.
Come May 17th, I woke up at 2 AM to excruciating pain in that tooth. Hot, constant throbbing and aching that couldnât be alleviated with OTC pain meds. I remember my dentist telling me that my wisdom teeth could cause a lot of pain. What did I do? Went and got my wisdom teeth out. All 4, surgically removed.
I had the worst recovery. Constant pain in that tooth that norco didnât touch. I went to my oral surgeon 3 times to address it. He put me on antibiotics to help with swelling in my throat and cheeks. Huh⊠pain went away?
By a week after my surgery, I felt great. I took all of my antibiotics as prescribed. Now Iâm out of antibiotics and the pain comes back. Worse this time. Got to the oral surgeon, he takes an x-ray. Finds that the filling I received in October is right on top of my nerve.
I immediately schedule an appointment with a new dentist. She confirms that the tooth is infected, dead, the filling is indeed touching my nerve, and the filling is chipped. I need a $3200 root canal and crown that I was never warned about.
Hmmm⊠It all makes sense. Is this negligence?? What can I do?
2024.06.07 20:56 Marshatucker300 Iâve created my own fnaf lost media ice berg of everything Iâm looking for thatâs lost. Iâve spent all morning creating it. Info is down below
 | Lost fake fnaf 3 Drawkill trailers back in the day when the drawkills were popular. There was two that was of a fake Five Nights at Freddyâs 3 with the drawkill animatronics. The first trailer was a lot of Batman stuff in the trailer. It felt like an apocalypse type of trailer. With human drawkill characters like Drawkill purple guy, Mike, fnaf 3 guard hunting the animatronic drawkills down. The only screenshot of the now lost fnaf 3 drawkill trailer was the screenshot I saved from the lost trailer. In the end shows whatâs supposed to be the face of drawkill purple guy/william afton which obviously looks like heâs been through an apocalypse. With the hood over his head. The first of the now lost trailer had this song playing in the background. https://youtu.be/Vz06J3oOTOU?si=GOoBc0CfWQE3Bl7Y while the second missing trailer had some transformers last knight dialogue of two species at war one flesh the other metal and it ended with a joke saying it was coming out April 1st. submitted by Marshatucker300 to fivenightsatfreddys [link] [comments] Lost Drawkill purple guy/william afton image There was a lost Drawkill purple guy/william afton image which went to details about him having electric clubs how his badge was a lantern and I think it stated he had night vision. For several years, there was a blurry image since the version was gone, but now even the blurry image is gone and impossible to find. Lost Drawkill creator deviant art page This refers to the creators lost deviant old page, which went into details about the drawkills such as drawkill purple guyâs information on one of his images post description. His account along with his YouTube channel is gone and itâs very hard to find any information on what he left behind. Pete the hamsters lost creepypasta series This refers to a very old and missing creepypasta series. Where Charles cooper ( the creepypasta version of purple guy, William Afton before he was known as William. ) killed kids went to jail and ended up possessing golden Freddy. He gets foxy to help him after Mike gets stuffed into a pirate mouse because foxy love the mermaid and he promised he would help foxy by repairing her if he helps possess the unborn son of Mike. Foxy betrays him and Charles gets defeated. Then the creepy pasta goes to many years later and the unborn child is now a full grown adult and is making Fazbear fright to honor his dad. Charles has a daughter named Cassie and her goal was to bring her dad back by using parts of the animatronics to build him a new body aka springtrap and get the rights to fazbear entertainment. The creepy pasta has two endings a good ending with Cassie and Charles gets defeated by the classic animatronics for good then the bad ending where Charles possesses the protagonist it skips to 2 weeks later where Charles is human once again with his daughter Cassie talking to Scott, who is planning on making a game franchise based off of fazbear entertainment saying he replaced the mermaid and the pirate mouse with the puppet and was planning on making fnaf world saying chibby stuff was popular with the anime craze and how he had their complete trust. Lost springtrap suit creepypasta Itâs been a very long time since I seen this creepypasta and my memory isnât the best however, I will tell you what I remember. The person took springtrap home ( most likely the creepypasta took place after the attraction burned. ) and he was after and tormenting the protagonist. I remember one part of the creepy pasta where springtrap was at the TV staring at static and crawling around and the creepy pasta had this video in the background and is the only Piece of the creepypasta that still exist. https://youtu.be/_z5JiFORhts?si=D4kfGWukFVXjLFgs Lost nightcovefoxâs 3 fan film trilogy videos This refers to three videos that is considered lost. One was titled the imposter which this video was about the fourth closet after John finds Charlie and took his baby shows up and searches to Johnâs apartment goes on that date, and it ends with Jessica hiding in the trunk. The second one was titled the encounter, which was when Carlton went to Jessicaâs apartment to do the rewiring to make themselves invisible to Williamâs funtime animatronics and it ends with him surviving circus, baby. The last one was called the date from the twisted ones. it was about how Charlie felt incomplete and how the events really changed everyone John asked Charlie for a date they go to the theater in the video end with Charlie leaving. Lost mangle animation This refers to a very old and now lost animation video. it wasnât from those source maker videos Iâm talking about actual animation. It showed a fixed mangle being friendly to kids a kid ripped off his tail mangle being scared, then it showed the aftermath of what happened and him being sad with sad music being played in the background the entire time. Dark boxâs lost adventure, purple guy, and drawkill spring trap voice This refers to two videos by the voice actor on YouTube dark box. Long time ago, I asked him to do a purple guy voice for his adventure version because Fnaf world was getting an update at the time and he did Eddie also did a voice for drawkill springtrap but theyâre gone now and the two voices is lost. Lost springtrap voice video This refers to a video that was around the five minute mark I encountered a few times, which was someone doing a voice for fnaf 3 springtrap which the dialogue consisted of him talking about how much he was in pain stating something along the lines of they think hell is full of fire and demons theyâre wrong. Hell is feeling your body breaking down, I pray for death but nobody is listening. I donât know if thereâs a god but I know thereâs a hell because iâm living it every day. It was something along those lines. Lost Drawkill scott cawthon image This refers to an image I seen a few times, but canât find it anywhere so itâs considered in my opinion lost. Pretty much drawkill scott was very similar to Drawkill purple guy the image up there I used. Of him holding the ax and knife, however Drawkill Scott has no badge and has the Scott blue on him. Lost when can I see you again fnaf image music video This refers to a tribute with the song. When can I see you again from Wreck-It Ralph with Fnaf characters. This video was removed then uploaded before it was lost again. During the video I noticed the images being used was covering up another video. I guess a video on top of a video itâs hard to explain but the lyric video the FNAF video was covering. Seems to be also lost. Lost anti-Nightcore fetch video This refers to now lost anti-Nightcore fetch video by cursed bonbons from what I understand, someone was jealous copyrighted the personâs videos and their anti-Nightcore fetch video was lost and the only thing from the channel that survived was the anti-Nightcore count the ways. Fnaf lost nightcore video This refers to a very old video from 2014 of the original Five Nights at Freddyâs song by the tombstone and it being Nightcore and it had a bunch of old Fnaf images on it such as foxy looking sad at his out of order sign and old images like that. Lost fnaf movie ytp video This refers to a now blocked Five Nights at Freddyâs movie YouTube poop from December I love this video to pieces especially the hilarious William Afton in the video. The only thing that survives from this video is the link because I shared it with my friends. https://youtu.be/eGkevRJwXXM?si=j5VH0v7NjgP7OWcC Partially lost nightmare springtrap voice This refers to a not completely lost voice on YouTube, but the port is completely lost. Here is most of it. https://youtu.be/4CMcVmP3VYU?si=_jjcOwKTyGPDw0GF there was a little bit more to the actual voice, but the original video containing this voice is lost. The part thatâs missing is nightmare springtrap whispering a little bit more saying something like sweet dreams. Lost draw, kill purple guy, sings monster from skillet This may be referring to a video that may or may not have existed, but Iâm pretty sure it did. The video had a fanart image of Drawkill purple guy with an edited version of the song skillet. However, the video seems lost and the only thing close to it is of him with the FNAF one song. Lost five Nights at Freddyâs thriller tribute This refers to a lost video using gameplay of the actual Five Nights at Freddyâs games with the song thriller. Seen it a few times itâs gone now considered lost. Lost five nights at Freddyâs trilogy video This refers to a video tribute with the original 3 fnaf games with the song bring me to life. I believe it began with the wizard animatronics from the second trailer breathe into me to make me real shows the gift cake, mini game, and William killing Henryâs daughter and the video ends with William getting spring locked in the third Five Nights at Freddyâs mini game. Fnaf lost fan made movie This refers to a fan made movie where the protagonist is female. She was put into a springlock suit some way or another character named Dave Miller saves her and she goes with him. Well he was building I think a house in the woods of something or something like that and he ends up going on a rant about leave hurricane Utah, and she canât trust him. I donât remember much about it since I think I only seen it one time and canât find it anymore so itâs most likely lost. No, this is usually when I would end it because thatâs everything in the iceberg but when I was riding everything down, I think I remember one so this is a bonus though I could be adding this for nothing because maybe itâs not lost and itâs just something that clicked into But Iâm not 100% sure if itâs there so Iâd say 50-50 chance. So Iâm going to check if it is after this. However, this is another creepy pasta if it is lost. I donât remember what the creepypasta was called however, I do remember details. Basically purple guy was the victim of the bite of 87 foxy bitten before he turned himself in and because of this he never did. Mike befriended the animatronics after he cleaned them up and complemented chica pizza. At some point foxy went outside in the dead of winter and they had to get him back or else he would freeze and die. The story ends with the purple guy of the story getting springlocked ranting how he was their killer and creator. That and I think the story the purple guy has a flashback after seeing a parent with their child and his backstory was tragic like I think he couldâve been abused or something. Like I said, I remember certain things of the creepypasta series like that, but thatâs really it. However, thatâs my iceberg hopefully, you enjoyed it. |
2024.06.07 20:53 Visible-Bid2414 Emptiness
Hi, I just need to let some stuff out, in a place where I know there are people that may actually understand though I donât want to burden anyone. Iâm not asking for replies, just a virtual bench to sit on for a minute and cry out loud. Donât mind me.
ââ
Iâve been going through metastatic BC for almost two years - the anniversary of that horrible day is coming up in July. I know some people celebrate that day as how far theyâve come, but personally itâs a reminder of an incredibly traumatic event separating my happy, previous life and this nightmare that wonât end.
My treatments initially were daily pills, plus a ton of radiation. Once my mobility issues were fixed with radiation, I could pretend to be normal outside. Still had my hair, eyebrows and eyelashes. Even on the occasional day with a cane, I still felt OK about myself.
Things progressed and now I am on IV chemo, a 21 day cycle where Iâm at the hospital on Day 1 and Day 8 and I need to get my blood drawn on Day 0 and Day 7. Iâm rewarded with an approximately 10 day âoff weekâ which Iâve been frantically trying to book up with trips and bucket list things. Though, you know, not too far out because who knows what may break or grow? (Sigh.)
The IV chemo seems to be working. Iâll find out after my scans next week. But I definitely feel less pain in my spine and I can walk more normally. I can sleep on my back better and on the off week, I can do more things once Iâve had some coffee.
I should be happy. But despite that, quality of life has really decreased in other aspects. Iâm living every month for that 10 day off week. Being totally bald (I also seem to have developed an anxiety-based scalp picking habit) and losing my eyebrows and eyelashes makes me feel like a freak; I donât feel like a woman at all. I canât wear full wigs because my head overheats. I have never been one to wear makeup or do much with my hair - now, it is a requirement to look less freaky or pitiful outside. Twinges in my jaw give me constant fear throughout the day that Iâm developing ONJ as a side effect from my bone medicine.
More than anything, the fatigue means I canât do very much before becoming utterly winded. Even if I can go somewhere, I end up spending a lot of time on the couch napping rather than exploring and wandering around like I used to. I canât cook/bake without getting winded; canât hold heavy pots and pans and Iâve developed a unfounded fear of sugary desserts (because as so many people say, sugar = cancer! /s). I can only do so many DIY activities before sleeping off.
Iâm only 36. My friends are living up their lives, traveling, having kids, building houses, doing boring things. Iâm just either sleeping or desperately finding ways to escape my surroundings and brain by blowing through my savings (money wonât follow to the after life, right?) and booking whatever. Not normal spending behavior.
I donât think Iâve truly laughed or smiled since starting the IV chemo. I feel completely empty inside. Iâve lost the curiosity about life that I used to have. I find myself thinking constantly, âPlease let it end. Iâm sorry for being selfish because I know my physical pain is less right now, but I just donât want to be here any more.â
I canât connect with any of my friends (the very small group thatâs been whittled down since diagnosis that I should be thankful for). They text me about their work drama or house building drama or children, and I canât relate. Often now I feel angry - why are they complaining about those things? Iâd give anything to have those problems. Some people have told me I should be grateful to be OK financially and that I donât have to worry about work. It makes me feel like an ass to say Iâd rather be working hard for my paycheck life like I used to and being productive to society, than cashing insurance checks. I didnât study and work so hard to just sit and sleep right now.
As long as this IV chemo is working, that means this routine will be my life. I donât think I have the luck to become NEAD. There are too many mets everywhere.
There is absolutely no joy in this life now. I really donât want to live - FOR THIS. I am not me. I am merely going through âlife prolongationâ as said by my hospital records, life support with eyes wide open. I would rather end things on a high physical no/less-pain note, donate my savings to something more meaningful than trying to keep escaping and distracting my brain, and release my friends and loved ones to move on and enjoy their lives.
Things could be so much worse in multiple ways, so there is a deep guilt that whatever Iâve written is utterly selfish and horrible. Itâs all too conflicting inside to balance. I just long for a boring life with good health I donât have to worry about. Or peace in the afterlife.
submitted by Visible-Bid2414 to Stage4CancerPatients [link] [comments]
ââ
Iâve been going through metastatic BC for almost two years - the anniversary of that horrible day is coming up in July. I know some people celebrate that day as how far theyâve come, but personally itâs a reminder of an incredibly traumatic event separating my happy, previous life and this nightmare that wonât end.
My treatments initially were daily pills, plus a ton of radiation. Once my mobility issues were fixed with radiation, I could pretend to be normal outside. Still had my hair, eyebrows and eyelashes. Even on the occasional day with a cane, I still felt OK about myself.
Things progressed and now I am on IV chemo, a 21 day cycle where Iâm at the hospital on Day 1 and Day 8 and I need to get my blood drawn on Day 0 and Day 7. Iâm rewarded with an approximately 10 day âoff weekâ which Iâve been frantically trying to book up with trips and bucket list things. Though, you know, not too far out because who knows what may break or grow? (Sigh.)
The IV chemo seems to be working. Iâll find out after my scans next week. But I definitely feel less pain in my spine and I can walk more normally. I can sleep on my back better and on the off week, I can do more things once Iâve had some coffee.
I should be happy. But despite that, quality of life has really decreased in other aspects. Iâm living every month for that 10 day off week. Being totally bald (I also seem to have developed an anxiety-based scalp picking habit) and losing my eyebrows and eyelashes makes me feel like a freak; I donât feel like a woman at all. I canât wear full wigs because my head overheats. I have never been one to wear makeup or do much with my hair - now, it is a requirement to look less freaky or pitiful outside. Twinges in my jaw give me constant fear throughout the day that Iâm developing ONJ as a side effect from my bone medicine.
More than anything, the fatigue means I canât do very much before becoming utterly winded. Even if I can go somewhere, I end up spending a lot of time on the couch napping rather than exploring and wandering around like I used to. I canât cook/bake without getting winded; canât hold heavy pots and pans and Iâve developed a unfounded fear of sugary desserts (because as so many people say, sugar = cancer! /s). I can only do so many DIY activities before sleeping off.
Iâm only 36. My friends are living up their lives, traveling, having kids, building houses, doing boring things. Iâm just either sleeping or desperately finding ways to escape my surroundings and brain by blowing through my savings (money wonât follow to the after life, right?) and booking whatever. Not normal spending behavior.
I donât think Iâve truly laughed or smiled since starting the IV chemo. I feel completely empty inside. Iâve lost the curiosity about life that I used to have. I find myself thinking constantly, âPlease let it end. Iâm sorry for being selfish because I know my physical pain is less right now, but I just donât want to be here any more.â
I canât connect with any of my friends (the very small group thatâs been whittled down since diagnosis that I should be thankful for). They text me about their work drama or house building drama or children, and I canât relate. Often now I feel angry - why are they complaining about those things? Iâd give anything to have those problems. Some people have told me I should be grateful to be OK financially and that I donât have to worry about work. It makes me feel like an ass to say Iâd rather be working hard for my paycheck life like I used to and being productive to society, than cashing insurance checks. I didnât study and work so hard to just sit and sleep right now.
As long as this IV chemo is working, that means this routine will be my life. I donât think I have the luck to become NEAD. There are too many mets everywhere.
There is absolutely no joy in this life now. I really donât want to live - FOR THIS. I am not me. I am merely going through âlife prolongationâ as said by my hospital records, life support with eyes wide open. I would rather end things on a high physical no/less-pain note, donate my savings to something more meaningful than trying to keep escaping and distracting my brain, and release my friends and loved ones to move on and enjoy their lives.
Things could be so much worse in multiple ways, so there is a deep guilt that whatever Iâve written is utterly selfish and horrible. Itâs all too conflicting inside to balance. I just long for a boring life with good health I donât have to worry about. Or peace in the afterlife.
2024.06.07 20:53 Worth-Lifeguard-8071 help me
-- I've attempted to censor some words as Reddit's filters keep taking down this post --
16M, diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, long history of s*lf-h4rm to give some background, idk if its relevant.
I've always gotten a high off of watching people and animals suff3experience p4in, when I was younger I got into endless brawls with peers deliberately because I really enjoyed inf*lict1ng p4in onto others and watching them struggle, it shot adrenaline through my body and made me shake, it makes me ecstatic with happiness. Genuinely amazing. I've only stopped doing this for about 2 years now since I've met my fiancé, I still fantasise about it though.
I stopped because as I grow older the more serious the incident becomes in the eyes of the law, risking my arr3st.
During all of these fights, I always wanted to kiII the person so badly but I've always restrained myself because I'd kiII myself if I went to prison as I'd be apart from my fiancé. For reference he's 17M.
If there was no legal consequences to murder I'd have k1Iled multiple people already.
I've always been fascinated by killings, true crime, that kind of stuff in general. There's no large traumatic event in my early childhood that could have caused me to enjoy others suff3ring at my hands that early, yes I experienced heavy trauma later on in life but that's after I was already enjoying it.
I'm told by my parents and my fiancé that I have a severe lack of empathy for fellow people. This may be linked to it, I don't know, I'm looking for answers.
To add on from before, if you're wondering whether I've tortured or kilIed animals, no nothing larger than insects due to my extreme anxiety around being caught and impr1isoned and therfore having to commit sui, it's not worth risking my life over. But I have a large desire to as a form of compromise for not being able to take out a person.
Anyway the problem arises when I can no longer access the high, what do I do? I miss it. I watch g0rE online but it doesn't do it.
I mentioned s*lf harm in the title because I was unsure if it's relevant, as I know I'd at times use it as a high because human suffering gets me high, but that was just one reason for it I did it for mainly feeling something in my deep depression I experienced and as a distraction for what I was going through in my depression to hold off committing sui.
I have no depression now though, as I am going to spend the rest of my life with my fiancé and everything will be okay, I love him.
I've been in a child mental health service since I was 10 or 11 ish years old and I'm currently in the process of transferring to an adult service. I'm in therapy because i have extreme anxiety over the lies and manipulation I inflict upon my parents as I often worry they'll find out I'm lying to them about something i do, but that's a separate thing from this.
Does anyone have any specific support recommendations for me? I don't know where to start. I've never spoken about this to anyone other than last night when I spoke to my fiancé about it, and when I looked into it I realised it may be of concern, so now I'm here.
Thanks.
submitted by Worth-Lifeguard-8071 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
16M, diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, long history of s*lf-h4rm to give some background, idk if its relevant.
I've always gotten a high off of watching people and animals suff3experience p4in, when I was younger I got into endless brawls with peers deliberately because I really enjoyed inf*lict1ng p4in onto others and watching them struggle, it shot adrenaline through my body and made me shake, it makes me ecstatic with happiness. Genuinely amazing. I've only stopped doing this for about 2 years now since I've met my fiancé, I still fantasise about it though.
I stopped because as I grow older the more serious the incident becomes in the eyes of the law, risking my arr3st.
During all of these fights, I always wanted to kiII the person so badly but I've always restrained myself because I'd kiII myself if I went to prison as I'd be apart from my fiancé. For reference he's 17M.
If there was no legal consequences to murder I'd have k1Iled multiple people already.
I've always been fascinated by killings, true crime, that kind of stuff in general. There's no large traumatic event in my early childhood that could have caused me to enjoy others suff3ring at my hands that early, yes I experienced heavy trauma later on in life but that's after I was already enjoying it.
I'm told by my parents and my fiancé that I have a severe lack of empathy for fellow people. This may be linked to it, I don't know, I'm looking for answers.
To add on from before, if you're wondering whether I've tortured or kilIed animals, no nothing larger than insects due to my extreme anxiety around being caught and impr1isoned and therfore having to commit sui, it's not worth risking my life over. But I have a large desire to as a form of compromise for not being able to take out a person.
Anyway the problem arises when I can no longer access the high, what do I do? I miss it. I watch g0rE online but it doesn't do it.
I mentioned s*lf harm in the title because I was unsure if it's relevant, as I know I'd at times use it as a high because human suffering gets me high, but that was just one reason for it I did it for mainly feeling something in my deep depression I experienced and as a distraction for what I was going through in my depression to hold off committing sui.
I have no depression now though, as I am going to spend the rest of my life with my fiancé and everything will be okay, I love him.
I've been in a child mental health service since I was 10 or 11 ish years old and I'm currently in the process of transferring to an adult service. I'm in therapy because i have extreme anxiety over the lies and manipulation I inflict upon my parents as I often worry they'll find out I'm lying to them about something i do, but that's a separate thing from this.
Does anyone have any specific support recommendations for me? I don't know where to start. I've never spoken about this to anyone other than last night when I spoke to my fiancé about it, and when I looked into it I realised it may be of concern, so now I'm here.
Thanks.
2024.06.07 20:48 International-Pea435 Pain a few hours after filling
NAD; Hi guys!
Typical boring question here, had a piece of enamel crack off a pre-molar from decay a while back, went to the dentist earlier today to get a filling. It was most certainly a deep filling I think but the dentist appeared happy to go with a filling as opposed to RCT or extraction. I had no pain before it but had a bit of sensitivity with chewing yesterday before.
After the anaesthetic wore off I've had a dull ache in the jaw and sensitivity in the tooth. It's been about 5 hours now. It feels like a throbbing. Is this normal? Should I wait it out over the weekend and contact my dentist Monday or give it a week or so?
Thanks as always guys!
submitted by International-Pea435 to askdentists [link] [comments]
Typical boring question here, had a piece of enamel crack off a pre-molar from decay a while back, went to the dentist earlier today to get a filling. It was most certainly a deep filling I think but the dentist appeared happy to go with a filling as opposed to RCT or extraction. I had no pain before it but had a bit of sensitivity with chewing yesterday before.
After the anaesthetic wore off I've had a dull ache in the jaw and sensitivity in the tooth. It's been about 5 hours now. It feels like a throbbing. Is this normal? Should I wait it out over the weekend and contact my dentist Monday or give it a week or so?
Thanks as always guys!
2024.06.07 20:48 intern_seraph 23F, had 2 spontaneous pneumothoraxes at the beginning of the year, worried about occasional chest pain afterwards
Hello, more or less what I said in the title and I want to know if I should be worried or not lol. 23F, 5'5 3/4", 123lbs. No smoking, no drinking, no drugs except the ones I'm prescribed by my psychiatrist. I take up to 1000mg of tylenol (recommended dose!) on occasion for severe headaches/migraines and period cramps. I take 2 women's multivitamins every morning. I'm on 300mg of bupropion (brand name wellbutrin) extended release in the morning and 50mg of sertraline (brand name zoloft) in the evening for anxiety and depression. Had been on 40mg of atomoxetine (brand name strattera) for about a year to treat ADHD by the time I had my first pneumothorax on Jan. 15th, but am now off of the medication due to it making my heart race, which had already been a concern prior.
Both pneumos were small and in the same location (left side, lower than my breast), and both occurred when I was sitting at my computer and doing no strenuous activities. Since they were small, I didn't have to have a tube put in my chest and was instead put on continuous oxygen in the ER for several hours. When I went in for the first pneumo on the 15th, I was given an EKG since I reported sudden, continuous, and severe chest pain on my left side that would radiate from the source â no heart attack, obviously, and no abnormalities aside from an extremely elevated heart rate (was between 100-120bpm when resting). BP was normal. I was given xanax (unsure of the dose) to try and lower my heartrate and calm the tremor I have in my hands. After a couple blood tests, a chest x-ray, and a CT scan with contrast, I was given my diagnosis, put on oxygen, and given some morphine for the pain. I spent ~3 days in the hospital: one night in the ER and one night admitted for observation. Was cleared with a chest x-ray in the morning on the 17th and had followups with my pcp. I was referred to a pulmonologist for followups by my pcp.
The second time was Jan. 3st and I knew it was a pneumothorax because I felt the pop. Went to the ER immediately. I was given an EKG anyways and my heartrate was high enough (over 110bpm at rest) that the ER physician decided to put a giant AED sticker on my side just in case it was determined that I required a hard reset. Otherwise, no heart abnormalities, BP was normal, etc etc. Had the same tests done, and was confirmed to have another small pneumothorax in the same location. Put on continuous oxygen and admitted during the first night for observation, stayed for another night and was discharged on Feb. 2nd. The cardiothoracic surgeon spoke to me about my case, told me there was no need to perform any surgery (no blebs on the CT and the pneumothorax was small enough to resolve on its own) and any surgical interventions to try and prevent further pneumothoraxes would cause more harm than good. He did note that the symptoms I reported aside from the pain (crackling sensations in the chest) were more typical of a larger pneumothorax.
After being discharged, I had 2 more appointments with the pulmonologist to perform a breathing test and go over my results. All clear, no concerns. AFAIK the hospital still hasn't uploaded the CTs or x-rays to the medical portal yet so :/
Since then, I occasionally experience chest pain in the same general area and at one point it was intense enough that I considered going to the ER again (it faded eventually but still concerned me). Occasional chest pain isn't anything new to me, per se, and it typically resolves within half an hour, but, well. I've been worrying that the pneumothorax may not have totally resolved, especially since both times it was apparently too small to be noticed on the initial x-rays and was only spotted on the CT but I was discharged based on my x-rays. So, like, am I being paranoid or is there more validity to my concern? I've been freaked out enough by the incidents that even sneezing too hard makes me worry that I'll pop a lung again.
submitted by intern_seraph to AskDocs [link] [comments]
Both pneumos were small and in the same location (left side, lower than my breast), and both occurred when I was sitting at my computer and doing no strenuous activities. Since they were small, I didn't have to have a tube put in my chest and was instead put on continuous oxygen in the ER for several hours. When I went in for the first pneumo on the 15th, I was given an EKG since I reported sudden, continuous, and severe chest pain on my left side that would radiate from the source â no heart attack, obviously, and no abnormalities aside from an extremely elevated heart rate (was between 100-120bpm when resting). BP was normal. I was given xanax (unsure of the dose) to try and lower my heartrate and calm the tremor I have in my hands. After a couple blood tests, a chest x-ray, and a CT scan with contrast, I was given my diagnosis, put on oxygen, and given some morphine for the pain. I spent ~3 days in the hospital: one night in the ER and one night admitted for observation. Was cleared with a chest x-ray in the morning on the 17th and had followups with my pcp. I was referred to a pulmonologist for followups by my pcp.
The second time was Jan. 3st and I knew it was a pneumothorax because I felt the pop. Went to the ER immediately. I was given an EKG anyways and my heartrate was high enough (over 110bpm at rest) that the ER physician decided to put a giant AED sticker on my side just in case it was determined that I required a hard reset. Otherwise, no heart abnormalities, BP was normal, etc etc. Had the same tests done, and was confirmed to have another small pneumothorax in the same location. Put on continuous oxygen and admitted during the first night for observation, stayed for another night and was discharged on Feb. 2nd. The cardiothoracic surgeon spoke to me about my case, told me there was no need to perform any surgery (no blebs on the CT and the pneumothorax was small enough to resolve on its own) and any surgical interventions to try and prevent further pneumothoraxes would cause more harm than good. He did note that the symptoms I reported aside from the pain (crackling sensations in the chest) were more typical of a larger pneumothorax.
After being discharged, I had 2 more appointments with the pulmonologist to perform a breathing test and go over my results. All clear, no concerns. AFAIK the hospital still hasn't uploaded the CTs or x-rays to the medical portal yet so :/
Since then, I occasionally experience chest pain in the same general area and at one point it was intense enough that I considered going to the ER again (it faded eventually but still concerned me). Occasional chest pain isn't anything new to me, per se, and it typically resolves within half an hour, but, well. I've been worrying that the pneumothorax may not have totally resolved, especially since both times it was apparently too small to be noticed on the initial x-rays and was only spotted on the CT but I was discharged based on my x-rays. So, like, am I being paranoid or is there more validity to my concern? I've been freaked out enough by the incidents that even sneezing too hard makes me worry that I'll pop a lung again.