Years ago I met my husband working in the pharmacy department of a major US drug chain. We worked in separate stores. I was a supervisory pharmacy technician in my store and he was a staff pharmacist in his. One of my duties was to oversee training of new pharm techs in our area and train existing techs to be supervisory techs. I would literally have to sign off on the training certifying techs were ready to go to their stores and capable of doing their jobs. Both mine and husband's pharmacies had great staffs and were leaders in the district.
Eventually, my store got a new store manager who we'll call K. For whatever reason, K decided that she wanted to engage in a little nepotism and help a fellow store manager's daughter (D) become a supervisory tech. The problem was that D wasn't even a good regular pharmacy tech and we had just shipped her off to a slower store because she preferred texting her boyfriend in the back instead of filling prescriptions and refused to work her fair share of weekends. I told K that this girl would become a supervisory tech over my dead body (pharmacy manager was totally behind me on this as was the district pharm tech supervisor). K then began a campaign of retaliation and would write me up for the most mundane things ever. In fact, the only time in my career I was ever disciplined is when K was my manager. I think she was hoping to replace me with another supervisory tech who would help her with her goals. It didn't really bother me. I knew I was performing well above expectations and wasn't bothered by her being petty. Besides, replacing me with D would hurt her way more than it would hurt me.
I'm chilling at drive-thru one day and one of my staff comes running in, grabs me, and says, " K is getting transferred to [husband's store]." My heart sank because I knew K would be the kind of person to take things out on my husband. He's a very kind, non-confrontational man, and not one that would do well with the type of game playing K enjoys. Sure enough, she starts writing him up for ridiculous things. She even went up to him one day and said, "Why are you married to South-Style-134? She's fire and you're ice. I just don't get why you like her." Hubs was shook and didn't really answer her. (As a side note, the supervisory tech at my husband's store literally went to K on day one and told her that D wouldn't be promoted there either lmao).
So K continues her campaign against me via my husband until Valentine's Day. Now, I don't really care about Valentine's, so my husband doesn't go out of his way for it. Our stores usually sell red roses only for Valentine's and the roses are featured in the weekly ad. Husband had made it his tradition to pick some up for me with a sweet card on his lunch break. This particular year, husband was going to do the usual but couldn't find the flowers. He searched all over the store and just as he's about to give up and just get me candy or something else, he finds K talking with the district operations manager (K's boss). My husband goes over to both of them, looks at K and says, "hey, where are the flowers from this week's ad?" K gets flustered and says, "we don't have any." K's boss asks if they sold out. K is forced to admit she didn't order any in the first place. K's boss is clearly pissed and tells her to immediately call the neighboring store and get some from them. K had to drive an hour round trip to get flowers from the other store. She does make it back before husband's shift is over so he buys the first bouquet. He brings them home and tells me the real gift is the story of how he got them and embarrassed K in front of her boss.
Epilogue: K was transferred yet again not long after this, so my husband was thankfully free of her. She was later asked to tender her resignation for a myriad of questionable practices of which the flower incident was minor, but it's still fun to think that we may have started the process of exposing her for being subpar.

Hi all. Long time lurker.
Subject line says it all. I think I'm done. SSA OARO is just awful. Toxic workplace, bully bosses, backstabbing, plain out lying. It is so disappointing.
When I started here, it was a different place. Folks care, and they do good work. OARO isn't mission critical for SSA, and we all knew our role. The pandemic was hard, but we all worked together.
Now, there is hardly any direction at all. The good leaders are leaving or retiring. The DC seems to care more about looking good, then doing the right things. She tends to promote folks that agree with her, vs the best folks for the job at hand. She doesn't fight for her people. She didn't fight for telework like OGC, she didn't. She's had one 15 sitting in an placeholder SES role for 7 years, and received the ok to move them to an SES role 2 years ago. Never even made it happen. Holding it over the guy like a carrot - "If you agree with me and make me look good, then I'll promote you" mind games.
They do paint a pretty picture. The whole 'Speed of Trust' and virtual teams 'celebration ' sessions. It's not real.
What's worse, I don't even know what our priorities are. The COSS has his agenda. OARO seems to be leading every one of them if you talk to leadership. OARO is analytics for N8NN. OARO weighing in on easing field office traffic. OARO taking over Artifical Intellegence for CIO. OARO in charge of cleaning the toilets. A constant quest in OARO to seek approval from the COSS, and kudos in SecurityStat.
I use to think it was possible to work through this. Keep my head down and persist. This too shall pass. My workloads keep changing with every new whim, each new brilliant idea from leadership. It's a terrible mess, and lots of whiplash. Even when our team finally thinks they have things ok, for things that are routine, leadership above leadership, wants changes and micromanages.
Is it this way in the other components right now? I know the field is a mess, but I've even thought about going back there.
I'm just defeated about it all. Thank for listening.

The players have been made aware of this, and have agreed. This is not meant to be a discussion of railroading.
Each player, some in groups, have had, or will have a private session leading up to the official start. They all start in the same place, against their will. Each character has something unique about them, or valuable, that would be appealing to slave traders. A very popular line of work in this part of the world. With undead being pretty much eradicated, cheap labor had to come from elsewhere. The party are more special than cheap labor.
A orc who wanted to escape the violence of his people and live peacefully. The reputation of his kin follows him everywhere.
An elvish princess, a rare thing in a world where there's around 500 elves left.
A bounty hunter, apart of a very well known clan, who possesses many trade secrets and tools. Many want their revenge.
A pair of twins who stumbled upon artifacts they shouldn't have. Otherworldly powers, and an unfair debt owed.
This corner of the world attracts many tourists for the same reason LA or Vegas does. There is endless opportunity for those willing to work for it, or a life of luxury for those who can afford it. Streets are filled with gambling, and exotics imports from all over the world. Gladiator style areas however is what brings in the most. Warriors from all over to come to show off their strength, willingly or not. For slave traders, this is where the money is. A fighter who can put on a show is a very valuable thing, and why 3/5 of the characters start off as prisoners.
The orc, elf, and bounty hunter are from across the region. Kidnapped for purposes that will be revealed later to them, backstory elements coming into play that made them desirable and worth the risk. The twins are apart of the gang who takes them, but they are not involved with this part. They simple are muscle, and smuggle drugs around for the gang. Session 1 is the first time the twins meet the other side of the business, and it's not for a promotion.
The session starts with the twins arriving to the hideout. Located at an old mining operation in the middle of the desert, it has been fortified and turned into something more. The old gates reinforced to create an area, and the entrance into the mines a jail. Deeper inside has been turned into a temple of Anubis, the prominate god of the area, but not all is what it seems. The twins are brought here to witness a fight. An elf druid, one traveling with the elf princess at the time of her capture is in the area trying to talk an owlbear out of eating with with little success. He wild shapes into a small bird in an attempt to escape, only to be shot out of the sky immediately by a guard with a long rifle. His death is quick, and gruesome as the owlbear does its thing to the prone man.
Afterwards, the twins are escorted inside. Past the jail, into the deeper chambers where they meet their boss. A Dwarvish women who immediately comes across as disliking them. She wants to test the twins loyalty, and this is when the characters are all brought together. The other 3 characters are brought into the room. One by one they are shot by the boss, and brought back by a cleric of Anubis, leaving only the twins left standing. This is just a showing of how she's willing to get her hands dirty, cause the twins want something that belongs to her.
The twins last big job was a heist. They needed to retrieve a silver jewelry box, and they had one rule. Under no circumstances is that box opened. Well, it was, but not willingly. The jewelry box contained a scale of a mercury dragon - dragons are rare, god-like beings here, and a scale like this is akin to an artifact rarity magic item. This Mercury dragon just happens to be the patron of the brother now, as the scale absorbed into him, through no choice or fault of his own. The boss wanted this power to herself, and upon retrieving the box, it didn't appear to be opened. Imagine her disappointment when she found it was empty. The brother was the only one alone with the box.
The sister is presented a deal. Kill her brother, right here, right now. Prove her loyalty without question or they both die. This is the first major decision the players are able to make now. If she pulls the trigger, or not. The boss isn't stupid. The gun handed to the sister isn't loaded. It's simply a test. If both siblings are to be shot, or just the one. The ending is largely the same.
Bleeding out on the ground, the sister, and newly revived party members witness the corpse of the brother forcibly raised from the dead to answer questions. The location of the item in the box. If his sister knew he stole it. Is he still loyal. - my ruling of Speak with Dead is they don't have to answer, but if they do, the answer must not be a lie. He will be brought back, but his answers will determine later interactions. Now, the sister. Every player in the game will have moments in the spotlight. I decided to start with her, as it made most sense, and given the twins background, they will be key members to the party next chapter. She still has the empty gun. If she knows its empty or not will change a few small details. She too is a warlock, and this is the signing of her pact with the Hexblade.
Her interpretation of this place is her own to make. She awakes in a void, and although she is still herself here, she is consumed by nothingness. No pain, no sound, no feeling at all. Not even a heartbeat. Here she meets an entity. A "shadow" that mimics her every movement. It even shifts slightly, becoming a silhouette of herself. When she touches it, it is an overwhelming sense of feeling. Fireworks going off at the tip of her fingertips. The warmth of her blood becoming as hot as the sun, but somehow feels comforting compared to the nothingness shes felt for all this time. Outside seconds have past. Here, it could have been years, or seconds. Impossible to tell. But with this touch she hears a voice reach out to her. "Squeeze". She's back in the room, vision blurry as her life fades. Gun raised, aimed at her boss, who doesn't fear an empty gun. Only, it's no longer empty. This is her new pact weapon. It functions as a gun, but she can choose to shoot normal bullets or eldritch blast from it.
Their escape comes soon after. The hideout is attacked by a Sand Stalker - a purple-worm like creature. Other captives save them, and the campaigns first chapter begins here. They are in the middle of the desert, very limited supplies, uncertain where exactly they are. Few npc trying to get to the capital city to find help. The twins, bounty hunter, and other npc know that everyone who bares the mark of the clan will have bounties out on them, to be returned to their owners. The world in now open to them, as they learn how to free themselves of this debt one way or another.
The slave contract is as good as a deal with a devil. Legally binding, and magical in nature. Each master / house has its own distinct mark to show ownership. Once the debt is paid off, the mark will fade on its own. Their starting debt is 10k gp each. It is meant to be ridiculous. The bounty on a slave is always 10% of their total debt. So, 1k gp to return them if they job is put out, and it will be. If captured the reward money is added to the debt they owe, making it 11k gp now. The system is designed to be nearly impossible to be free.
In the main city there are several patrons willing to help them for one reason or another. Old contacts of the twins and bounty hunter in the party are expected to be called upon. There's multiple escapes from the city I have ready, and I am looking forward to what they come up with. I don't expect them to ever pay off their debt. The main story will later being them back here, when they're ready to take on the challenges of the city in full, and save the world. Standard stuff.
This is a new attempt at an intro. Throwing them into the fire with a clear goal. A long "cinematic" before giving them full control. They all know the stakes, and are in a position of "our chances are better together" apposed from the classic meeting in the tavern and dealing with rats.
Every character has elements from their backstory that matter here, and will drastically effect the campaign going forward. They had all known the basics of the intro, and details where they started prior to making characters. Changes were made to my plans based on their characters, incorporating them into it one way or another. There were always slavers, and they were always going to die. The twins backstories are the only ones from this region and they provided me a lot to work with, and ability to tie them into the scenario.
The boss killing and betraying the twins is a detail I think is very important. The other characters may see them as enemies, so by doing it this way they have common enemies and no secrets about it. Only the sister is not in debt, giving her a few special privilege's while in the city. All the players know each other, have played in other games together, and know what's expected. I am trying to make the party's coming together seem natural by immediately giving them a common problem and no one else to turn to. [BG3 SPOILERS] as the mindflayer parasites provided the main cast common problems, and Out of the Abyss first chapter being major influences. There are many other politics involved also, some sub plots that will come up later that tie to this, and a lot of world lore involved giving insight to why this region functions like this.

Was approved to relocate. Leaving next month. Still paranoid about RTO. How bad is it really out there? (Rant)
I’m a super high anxiety person - clearly. I’ve been fully remote between two jobs for about four years - 3 with my current company. I can’t imagine life without it. I work mostly on BI / data analytics and have a masters in CS / undergrad in Management.
My current company is based in Florida. I moved here about 6 months before the lockdowns at the recommendation of my boss at the time. Anyways, I hate Florida. No family here, no friends, the climate is awful. I just hate it.
I sucked it up for 3 years because I was still new and I wanted to be ready in the event there was a mandate. Since then, I got promoted, joined a new team and love my job. It’s been at the cost of my mental health as I’ve hated being in FL so much. Last year, I asked my boss if I could move to a state to be closer to family. She was so nervous at first because it sounded like I was quitting. She was immediately saying yes I can go. She’s said often that she can’t lose me. I got approval from her and her boss. I move next month. My role is not client facing. No reason to be in person. I’m running SQL queries and building reports.
Meanwhile, new CEO. He’s very pro RTO. There’s been no mandate but in his near bi weekly town halls he expresses how much he loves in person work. It’s mostly required on a team by team basis. A lot of people are back 3x a week. Some 5x. And there’s no remote postings anymore, all hybrid or on-site. I read all this news about RTO coming full force. All remote work articles I read are propaganda funded by real estate companies. I see this stuff about Walmart and Dell just ruining the lives of so many remote workers and making them relocate to just some cities I’d really hate to live in. I see companies laying people off who won’t comply.
I feel lucky in a sense. My boss and her boss gave approval. We already have a remote team member as well in our small 5 person team - so there was precedent. Ive been told some higher ups really like me and the work I do, so I guess I have some strong support. I asked one more time a month ago before signing my lease if there was any risk in leaving and that this was the last chance, and my boss not only said I was good but that, in the event RTO became a thing; it’s best to leave now.”
My worry is really just the new company leadership. The new HR person. Those types. I worry in a year I’m an easy target, but I’m also in a team that is pretty essential. I’ve been reassured twice. But this is also a CEO taking our summer Fridays, doing layoffs we’ve never seen, etc. I never worked well in an office. I never used to sleep well out of constant fear of being late and already being an insomniac. Pet daycare bills and car bills alone would leave me with no disposable income. I am an introvert with no interest in office talk - I just want to do my job in peace, which I do well. I could never go back. You couldn’t pay me enough. Yet I’m still nervous, the news freaks me out. It feels like remote work is gone. I know there’s crackdowns but I know I could also be just working myself up on the landscape of remote work.
I feel like after all the reassurance, I shouldn’t be as worried but I am. I’m so excited to move and see my family again and reconnect with friends and be somewhere I love. But I also just feel this fear that remote work is gone and this could happen at any time. Probably overthinking it. I just hope given my background and the work I do, I’ll have options.
Sorry this is more of a vent than a question, guess I’m just wondering how badly I’m overthinking and maybe I should just be be happy and grateful in a landscape that’s been so nasty for others

I'm not doing great at the moment since it just happened. I don't like gossip or talking behind people's back. Ironic I know. This post is about whether or not I did the right thing. Please don't insult anyone else: my mom (umm), my wife (Annie), my dad (abpa), my brother (Barry), my sister (Maggie), my cousin (Frank).
Save your judgment for me. Context: I'm 35M. first born. I left home after a huge fight with my mom after college. I was homeless for a bit. We've since reconciled. But I suppose not anymore. There's history there.
I'm only posting to see if what I did was wrong.
All names have been replaced and are not real. Other details like dates and places that are personally identifiable will be removed/changed. There are two languages: I will always show the original and translate as fairly as I can.
It is relevant for fairness to share that my mom is 3 hours ahead of me. I'm west coast, she's east coast. (10am for me it's 1pm for her) My time will be shown in the messages.
I will keep all messages exact and unedited, outside of the above.
I repeat: DO NOT INSULT MY MOM OR WIFE OR FAMILY. am I the asshole. nothing about them. just me.
On Mom's Birthday:
Mom [10:43am] it's mom's birthday but nothing is here (original: 엄마 생일인데 아무것도 없어.) [10:52am] [Picture of kitchen island with boxed tonesunscreen on it] [10:53am] (Mom is/I am) really sad. This is what Annie sent me for a gift. $10-20 toiletries. Something I don't even use. (original: 엄마 많이 섭섭해. 이게 [name]가 보낸 선물이야. $10-20 짜리 화장품. 엄마 이거 쓰지도 않는데.)
Me [11:51am] She got the same thing she got for you and her mom. Throw it out and I'll make sure to buy something nicer for you.
Mom [12:03pm] If she or her mom got the thing then I should get the same thing. I'm not Annie or Annie's mom. I'm your mom. You shouldn't treat me like this. [12:07pm] Not even one happy birthday said. (original: 생일 축하한단 말 한마디 없이.)
Me [12:56pm] call (no answer) [1:11pm] call (no answer)
Next day:
Mom [5:10am] I didn't answer the phone yesterday because I felt like I'm crying. I don’t want to talk like that with you. When you got married Annie I tried to treat her as an our family member. I know I can not treat her same as Maggie (my sister). But last year she didn’t say any word on my birthday. Even you and I talked on the phone. I didn’t want so much from her just as a family say good word on birthday wishes. This year same thing. And you, when you asked me what can I do for you ( maybe you forgot that even you asked) I literally said “다른거 필요 없고 무슨날 엄마 밥이나 사줘” (translation: I don't need anything just buy me some dinner some time) I’m not asking you expensive things. Don’t say throw them out but nicer things. You really missed the point.
Me [11:28am] You were upset because I didn’t do something for your birthday by 1040am on a Workday. It’s not about expensive things but you want to text a picture of the gift and say it’s $10-20. You got a gift, but no card. It’s cheap but it’s not about money. Annie’s a family member, how could she not text. Right after she texted happy mother’s day to you. Yesterday before dinner, Annie tells me “make sure you call your mom it’s her birthday”. I didn’t tell her what happened because I don’t gossip and talk bad about people behind their back. I call or text and wish a happy birthday to family. Like I’ve done every year. It’s the same as what everyone does for me. Sometimes I don’t get a call. Sometimes I don’t get a text. Sometimes the call/text comes a day later. Never did I text my family members in the morning asking why people didn’t do more for me. I’ll make sure to let Annie know about wishing happy birthday to you. In my screenshot is my daily goals from yesterday, I was excited about this week. One of those things was, of course, calling you for your birthday, just like I called for mother’s day. Two hours later while I’m in a work meeting with my boss, 1040am, I get a text from you telling me about how sad you are from my wife’s cheap gift and how I haven’t said happy birthday yet. Yesterday I woke up and went to work, and planned to call you after. You have a habit of disproportionately trying to make me feel bad. You’ve done it on your birthday before many years ago after you and abpa[dad in korean] had a fight. I was a college student and you took it out on me cause I was the easy target. You’re an adult. Your child can call later in the day to wish you a happy birthday. It’s not okay to text trying to make your son feel bad about not doing something sooner. [11:29am] [Screenshot of whatsapp conversation between me and my virtual assistant] [Screenshot start] [8:13am yesterday] Goals for Today, I want to be disciplined. It’s been a few weeks now since my conference and because of the conference and drinking there, I became slow and lost the energy to stay on top of my diet/exercise and morning routines that I was so happy and proud of. Let’s get back to that this week. Let’s work hard, let’s continue to set sights on big goals. I want to work on the 3 projects I have going right now. [personal project 1 company idea], [personal project 2 company idea], and [current company].
Today I will exercise 25 situps, 25 pushups, 25 curls, 25 shoulder press, and 25 squats. Today I will finish a few [work things] for [company]. Today I will teach class for [project 2] finish [lesson], and let folks know that there will not be class on wednesday. I will call my mom later today and wish her a happy birthday. I will also be going to my brother’s to take care of credit card points so that we can buy tickets for [trip], let’s work hard today and get a lot done. [Screenshot end]
Mom [4:09pm] My birthday is passed last year and this year. She didn’t text or say anything these two years. You may think that’s ok but not for me. I just expect to acknowledge these days and congrat each other. Is that too much? I don’t expect anything from her. But you mentioned so proudly on Sunday that Annie send me TWO gifts. I just want you to know I’m very disappointed that you are ok with that gifts. That’s why I mentioned the price as well. My birthday and Mother’s Day are always near by. Sometimes same day or sometimes few day apart. Is that too much that I asked you more thoughtful gift from you? If you think that’s too much , forget about this conversation. I think I’ve never treated you like this.
Me [2:03am] You’ve treated me way worse in my life. You didn’t wait for a text. You wanted to text me to make me feel bad. You had a bad morning. Maybe a bad night. You didn’t feel like I cared or people cared. Or maybe something else happened. And you wanted me to feel bad.
But your happiness is not my responsibility.
Your birthday is not a free pass to send guilt tripping texts to me and expect nice texts back. Annie sent you poison? She sent you a 4.5 star tonesunscreen with thousands of nice reviews. She was just trying to send something nice. It’s not expensive. But you say it’s not about money? Then why are you crying about it?
No one said “happy birthday” yet? The day wasn’t over. Why text me only? Barry[My brother] didn’t call until 5pm.
No one else gave you a good gift? Or are you comparing it with gifts that you’ve given to Annie? Then you give revenge-gifts. If that’s it then don’t ever give Annie and I anything ever again. You just wanted a dinner? I’m on the other side of the country.
Should I text you on my birthday asking why my mailbox is empty? Should I ask abpa[dad] the last 20 years where’s my present? Should I try and make you or abpa feel bad on my birthday if I’m unhappy? No, of course not. None of those is how a mature person behaves. Because my happiness is not your responsibility.
“Just want a text to acknowledge and congratulate”. You didn’t wait for any text. You chose to start upset.
Why didn’t you text Barry? if it’s just the text of happy birthday? You scared of his response?
I know why you’re not scared of me. 5 years of therapy to learn the way you used me as an emotional punching bag.
Your birthday morning wasn’t the way you wanted. Your gift wasn’t the way you wanted. You didn’t feel like anyone cared. Whoever you talked to. Whatever happened. You were unhappy. So you sent those texts to me.
You try to make me feel bad when you’re unhappy with your life. Why? When you used to have a hard day at work. Bad [customer]. Bad traffic. Bad interaction with coworkers/boss. Bad talk with abpa[dad], grandma, Frank hyung(older cousin who lived with us). Who do you think received your anger for no fucking reason? If I did all my homework, played [instrument 1], practiced [instrument 2], got good grades, did all my kumon(after school homework) did you know it doesn’t matter what I did, if YOU had a bad day?
If I’m watching tv, or playing a game, if you have a bad day, then my day has to be a bad day. Because people around you can’t be happy when you’re miserable. Not people that you can control. And controlling me was all you had. Even as I got older. Not allowed to leave the house.
You couldn’t control the language or culture out of the house, you couldn’t control grandma, frank hyung, or abpa in the house. your whole life, you couldn’t control too much.
So you controlled what? me. a kid. And as soon as hitting me didn’t make me cry you just tried to control my emotions to make me cry.
2010 May [day retracted]. Fight with abpa in the morning, he leaves the house. So you go down to the basement to yell at your son for not getting you a cake.
Junior in college crying, guilty in the basement buying you cake. That’s what you wanted. Someone you controlled. Someone to be miserable because you were miserable.
5 years of therapy in my late 20s to learn you’re the reason I don’t notice when women step all over me. I grew up used to it. Bad women relationships, weak sense of self, emotional abuse, angry all the time. Parents like you made Asian Americans the least likely to become managers in the USA (context: I became one in my later 20s). No confidence. No inner strength. Just quiet private anger. A young man clenching his fists, holding his tongue, and listening to orders.
Constantly blame others, blame myself. Always angry. Always yelling at [dog1]/[dog2], always trying to control them when I’m upset. Critical of everything, everyone, myself, never feeling like I’m enough or okay. Because growing up I was constantly on the receiving end of anger that I didn’t create. Don’t talk back. Don’t look at the eyes. Look at the wall. Never right. Always wrong. But every year I’m fixing that a little bit. Why? Because now I’m responsible for my own happiness.
I refuse to stay a bad dad to [dog2].
No more blaming, just thinking and working. being confident. fighting back. defending mself. speaking out. Looking at people in the eye.
Yesterday you didn’t feel good. So I was the one who did something terrible for your birthday? Hmm. I was going to call just like Barry did. You’re sad about the gift? You feel like no one cares. Why is it that I’m the only one that got those texts. You think your message was going to create apologies and happy birthdays from me? No. I don’t think so. You just wanted me to feel bad. Because you felt bad. You like controlling me. And affecting my emotions.
It’s why I left home many years ago. And you still have old habits. You wanted me to feel bad. You did the same thing talking about the [old project] community a few years ago. When you don’t feel happy. You try to make me feel bad.
But I’m old enough to know now that I didn’t do anything to deserve that yesterday. And you’re not allowed to step on me like that anymore. I’m not some weak 21 year old that’s crying in the basement buying you cake. I told Annie not to call. Your negative behavior is not allowed in my life.
Every day I work to undo things from my past. You’ve stepped on me your whole life. Made me a very scared, very angry young man. People like that never make it in the world successfully. They have all kinds of problems. But I want this to be very clear. I am going to be successful. I am going to be a [retracted]. I am going to make a positive difference in this world for those who are positive to others. And It will be despite all that you’ve done to me. It will happen because I will surround myself with peace, and positivity. Not negativity and manipulation. Through peace and for others, I will work harder than you or abpa or anyone you have ever known has ever done in their entire lives.
But If I don’t make it, that’s on me. If I’m unhappy today, that’s on me. If I lack something today, that’s me. I have to choose to be better. I have to work harder. Cause I’m responsible for my happiness.
You can choose whether or not you want to be negative or positive person moving forward in my life. That’s your choice. You want to step on me? Try to bring me down when you feel down? That’s your choice. But it’s my choice whether or not to let you be in my life.
you being unhappy yesterday morning. That’s you. That’s your choice. Acting the way you did. trying to make your son feel bad. That’s all you. You’re responsible for your own happiness. I didn’t do anything yesterday to deserve your texts trying to pull me down.
This is my last text about this. This conversation is over. Say one more thing about this that doesn’t resemble an apology and I’m not going on the [family trip]. Keep telling me youre an “innocent victim” “all I wanted was a happy birthday text” and you won’t hear from me for years. Be responsible for your actions. I have no room for your negative emotional manipulation in my life.
Mom [7:14am] Annie…. Very first gift from her was well known brand toner. That gave me bad skin reaction so I had to throw it out. I don’t want to talk to her about it because I appreciated what she wanted to try. But next time when I saw her in las Vegas I told her that her sun screen lotion ( what she used at that time) gave me a bad reaction so I can not use it. Last year when Maggie gave her 화장품 (toiletry) as a birthday gift she said that thanks but she can not use it because she has allergic reactions. Which is understandable but she’s still doing same thing to me. I don’t know who mentioned about good reviews or you found out your self. That doesn’t mean it’s good for me. She and I didn’t talk that much anything so far only few subject. I feel like she doesn’t care. I don’t know why you guys decided to send gift more than a month before. And how you said she send me two gifts made me so upset.
Barry… Barry and I talked about our birthday on the phone last week how it was good at last year’s dinner. He planned but eventually Appa paid( I mentioned who paid because you don’t get wrong info. ) and the way he always said skipping one year is not end of the world. We laughed about it. And he said next time we gonna have a good time. He called at 5 pm on my birthday I know as soon as he woke up he called me.
You mentioned why Barry is ok. Did I scare him? Come on… he is not saying nice words all the time but he is very thoughtful person. I think you agree with this.
You… I really sorry that you have all bad memories about me and your youth. I can not go back and I can not fix it now. I’m thinking back that days if I can live again maybe react little differently like I treated Maggie. As a first child you had a lot bad experiences. I agreed. But don’t say your life was miserable because of ME all the time. If you think this way there’s no reason to see me. I’m really happy to see, hear and feel that you’re working hard, being healthy and having enjoyable life. I want you to be a healther, happier and more successful person than right now. That’s no matter why we talked about right now. But I really want to make a point that don’t say I had bad morning or bad night before that’s why text you like that. Maybe you’re right. I had bad night before. After talked on the phone with you (as I told you before ). I felt disappointed so much. You keep saying you felt bad because of my text, why I didn’t wait? Calling to me is part of your daily plan. You keep saying I made you feel bad because I had anger problems or bad days. You’ve never thought about “what did I do wrong or did I miss anything?” You said you away from me how can I buy dinner? Same as easy to buy on line ( by Amazon) any merchandise. There’s tons of way to offer , you can make a reservation any restaurant or even you can send money 100- 200 dollars. Maybe I’m wrong but I don’t think it’s going to hurt you financially. Last year I waited until last minute that Annie would text me any word. No. That didn’t happen. If I waited until you call this year what’s the difference? I want more than hearing your voice is too much. Sorry that I think that way. And not being adult I ordered Rolex watch for next years your birthday gift and I was so excited about it. Maybe that’s why I’m expecting more than what you’re in mind about me. You are right. That’s all my problems.
[7:45am] If you don’t want to come [familytrip] , don’t spend time with family I can not force you to come. But don’t say if I don’t apologize you don’t come. Is new way to threaten? Come on [my name]. This is really too much.
Me [10:02am] There’s a difference between threats and boundaries. No one is allowed to be in my life to spend their energy trying to bring me down. Who would do something like that? My own mother. No we aren’t going on the [trip]. (context: all the tickets and arrangements have been purchased, this isn't some cop out, it's non-refundable, nothing to do with money on anyone's side)
You want to continue the conversation after I said I was done? Actions and consequences: Annie and I are very unthoughtful and uncaring to give you a skin care gift again. I’ll tell her exactly what happened. I’ll have her read every message. And understand what we did wrong. I’ll make sure we feel terrible today. I’ll make sure she remembers it forever. I will make sure my wife cries for your sadness and for our mistakes. We’re a bad son/wife who don’t care about my mother’s birthday and mother’s day. Your message has been fully received. We will feel sorry, we will cry and we will feel bad for you. I will struggle to work for my job. I will struggle to do my projects, and teach my students, I will think all day and all night about how sad this is. About this conversation, about our gift, about your gifts, about the phone call, the texts, mother’s day, your birthday, my birthdays. last year your birthday when we were in [another country]. I will struggle to eat and sleep properly. I know Annie and how sensitive she is. She will struggle and cry too. Your son and his wife will feel terrible about your birthday. Your message will be successful. You’ve brought the world down around you. Congratulations. Just like old times. Everyone is sad now. "You’re right.”
I will say one last thing as your son: be careful about hurting the people around you when you have a bad day. If you keep tearing the world around you down, there isn’t going to be a world left.
You and I are not going in the same direction.
I’m trying to learn how to be positive, hardworking, successful, strong, encouraging and helping others. Trying to be a little more positive everyday. Maybe I will never get there. But I will try. You want to spend your time fixating on me saying “two gifts”. You want to spend your time staring at the boxes, and sending pictures. You want to spend your time comparing, looking at costs, pitying yourself and telling people around you how terrible they are on your birthday. I guess that drama is something you want. Not me. You and I are on different paths.
After Annie and I cry for what we did. My boundary is this, I will never let you do this to me again. That will be the last scar. We will remember every year on your birthday, and remind ourselves how terrible and uncaring we were. I will remember that you wanted me to know and feel that. Every year I will remember but that will be the last scar you ever leave on me. You should return the Rolex. I will never use it, I will never wear it, I will throw it out instantly. To me it’s a poisonous gift. Don’t ever give me or Annie any gifts for the rest of my life.
We will smile and not forget that those past gifts were given out of your care and thoughtfulness. We will remember you did your best and wanted to do nice things in your way. but we will be sad with you. And be unable to use your gifts because your gifts comes with weight, revenge and paybacks. And we cannot accept them. You did everything right. You’re a good mom. We are just bad people. We never earned them or paid you back in our thoughtfulness for them. All gifts you have given me and her, we will stop using today.
I will not be receiving your messages anymore. Goodbye
[Blocked from phone/all social media.]
AITAH. Reminder do not talk bad about anyone else. I'll delete those comments. This is just about whether or not I did the right thing.

Date: 05/15/2024

Reading time: 11 minutes, 2384 words

🪖 Military

The ceremony of withdrawal of peacekeepers from Nagorno-Karabakh took place

Russian peacekeepers were in Nagorno Karabakh based on a statement of November 9, 2020. The military group was supposed to stay in the region until 2025, which could be extended for another five years. The population of Artsakh was subjected to forced displacement, more than 100 thousand people moved from Artsakh to Armenia.

CivilNet

Armenia and Slovakia discuss issues of military-technical cooperation

Armenia participated in the IDEB-2024 defense exhibition in Bratislava, Slovakia, at the invitation of the Slovak Ministry of Defense. A number of agreements have been reached between Armenia and Slovakia.

Armenpress, Armenia, Slovakia discuss expanding defence cooperation

Armenia and India plan to create a working group on defense issues

The first defense consultations between the Ministries of Defense of Armenia and India took place under the chairmanship of Levon Ayvazyan. The progress and development prospects of Armenia-India cooperation in the field of defense were discussed, including military-technical, personnel military education and tactical training, exchange of experience and other fields.

CivilNet, Armenian and Indian Defense Ministries hold first defense consultations in Yerevan, Armenia, India hold first defense consultations

🏛️ Politics & Government

Over 52% of respondents in Armenia support Tavush for Homeland movement to certain extent, Gallup phone poll shows

A total of 35.1% of respondents in Armenia said they “fully support” the Tavush for Homeland movement, Aram Navasardyan, head of the Armenian office of GALLUP International Association, said at a press conference on Wednesday. 17.8% said they feel “more than positively” about the movement, 10% - ‘more than negatively’, 10.5% “absolutely negatively”; 13.6% found it difficult to answer the question.

ArkaAm

Civil disobedience campaigns continue in Yerevan

People demanding Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan’s resignation again blocked streets in Yerevan on May 15.

PanArmenian

The Baku court has extended the terms of detention of Artsakh officials for five months

Former presidents Bako Sahakyan, Arayik Harutyunyan, Davit Babayan and Davit Ishkhanyan are speaking. The detention period of the former President of Artsakh Arkady Ghukasyan was also extended by five months. 23 Armenian servicemen and civilians were arrested in September 2023, after a one-day war against Artsakh.

CivilNet

Political consultations held between foreign ministries of Armenia, Georgia

The Republic of Armenia and Georgia held a round of political consultations in Tbilisi on May 13-14. It is noted that the participants of the meeting reviewed the existing relations between the two countries.

Armenpress, Political consultations held between Foreign Ministries of Armenia and Georgia

Education reforms, institutional development, peace agenda implementation: PM delivers speech at EBRD annual meeting

Nikol Pashinyan attended the opening ceremony of the annual meeting of the European Bank for Reconstruction and Development in the Republic of Armenia. Armenia's economy has grown by almost 30 percent since the People's Nonviolent Velvet Revolution of 2018.

Armenpress, Prime Minister highly values the partnership with the European Bank for Reconstruction and Development, Armenian PM and EBRD President discuss joint projects and perspectives, EBRD plans to invest up to 500 million Euros in Armenia in 2024, EBRD and InecoBank bolster science innovation hub in Yerevan

Border delimitation between Armenia, Azerbaijan should become a key tool for learning peaceful coexistence - PM

Armenia and Azerbaijan lack experience and knowledge of peaceful co-existence, says Prime Minister. Pashinyan: "What you don't know brings uncertainties, concerns, tensions, which you understandably formulate and perceive based on your experience"

Armenpress, Moscow welcomes Armenia-Azerbaijan foreign ministers' negotiations in Almaty, Demarcation should become one of the tools that will teach Armenia and Azerbaijan to live peacefully – PM Pashinyan

PM Pashinyan sends congratulatory message to the Prime Minister of Serbia

Nikol Pashinyan congratulates Miloš Vučević on occasion of his election to the post of the Prime Minister of the Republic of Serbia. The message reads as follows: "Armenia values friendly relations with Serbia based on mutual respect and trust"

Armenpress

Armenia and EBRD sign €236 million agreement for Sisian-Kajaran road construction

The EBRD signed a loan agreement worth €236 million for the construction of the 24.2 km southern section of the Sisian-Kajaran North-South Road. The project is a strategic priority for Armenia, ensuring its connectivity and access to Europe and beyond.

Armenpress, EBRD plans to invest up to 500 million Euros in Armenia in 2024, EBRD grants Armenia 12 million euros for the construction of a logistics center in Syunik, EBRD funds largest road project in Armenia

Armenia and France expand cooperation in civil aviation sector

Meeting was held between the Director General, Mihran Khachatryan, and the Ambassador Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary of France to the Republic of Armenia, Olivier Decottignies. Issues of strengthening and expanding cooperation between Armenia and France in the field of civil aviation were discussed.

Armenpress, French Development Agency to extend cooperation with Armenia’s government, Armenia, France extend partnership in civil aviation, Armenia and France are expanding cooperation in the field of civil aviation, Armenia, French Development Agency to expand cooperation

The delegation led by Tigran Avinyan leaves for Paris

The Yerevan delegation will visit Paris from May 15 to 19. They will meet with the president of the regional council of Île-de-France.

Armenpress, Yerevan Mayor to travel to Paris on May 15-19

Moscow sees the need to resume the work of the tripartite group on the issue of de-blockade

Moscow considers it necessary to resume work of tripartite working group co-chaired by deputy prime ministers of Russia, Armenia and Azerbaijan on blockade issue. Russian Deputy Foreign Minister Mikhail Galuzin said about it in an interview with the News.ru website: "We do not use the term Zangezur Corridor, but in favor of the complete unblocking of economic and transport communications in the South Caucasus. He also spoke about the role of Russian peacekeepers in Karabakh.

CivilNet

Armenia is waiting for the decision to join the European Peace Foundation. Pashinyan

Pashinyan: We are waiting for the decision to include Armenia in the European Peace Fund. The fund was established in 2021 to promote world peace, prevent conflicts and supply non-lethal weapons to countries in need. In mid-April, the media wrote that a preliminary agreement was reached in Brussels to provide 10 million euros to Armenia from this fund, but Hungary blocked the decision.

CivilNet

Mirzoyan to take part in Council of Europe ministers’ Committee session in Strasbourg

Ararat Mirzoyan will travel to French city of Strasbourg for a working visit on 16-17 May. He will take part in the 133rd session of the Committee of Ministers, devoted to the celebration of 75 years since the foundation of the Council of Europe.

ArkaAm, Armenian FM to participate in the session of CoE Committee of Ministers

High-Tech Minister: Armenia considers creating investment fund

Armenia’s Minister of High-Tech Industry Mkhitar Hayrapetyan discussed a potential creation of an investment fund in the country with Noubar Afeyan, the founder of venture capital firm Flagship Pioneering. Fund is expected to improve cooperation between Armenian authorities and the private sector.

ArkaAm

Armenia's policy is to diversify its foreign relations - Pashinyan

Armenia's policy is to diversify its foreign relations in all areas, Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan said at Copenhagen Democracy Summit. "We are happy about the deployment of the EU Civilian Monitoring Mission on the border between Armenia and Azerbaijan," he said. The prime minister said that the EU decision on Armenia's inclusion in the European Peace Facility is now awaited.

ArkaAm

Moscow slams EU mission in Armenia for “provocative activity”

The EU mission is doing more and more against Armenia’s neighbors Russia, Azerbaijan and Iran, Mikhail Galuzin said.

PanArmenian

Uruguay Chamber of Representatives votes to submit draft law on the Armenian Genocide Memorial Day to executive branch

Chamber of Representatives of Uruguay on May 14 unanimously passed the draft law declaring April 24 as Armenian Genocide Memorial Day in Uruguay, 74 votes in favor by the 74 MPs present. After the executive's approval within 10 days, the law will come into force immediately, the Armenian Embassy in Uruguay said in a post on Facebook.

Armenpress, Uruguay House of Representatives approves billdeclaring April 24 as Armenian Genocide Remembrance Day

Slovak PM in ‘life-threatening condition’ after being shot

Slovakia's Prime Minister Robert Fico is fighting for his life after he was shot multiple times following a government meeting. Fico's condition is life-threatening and he’s being flown by helicopter to hospital for emergency treatment.

Armenpress, Slovak PM Fico in hospital after being shot, Violence has no place in politics: Armenian PM wishes speedy recovery to Slovakia’s Robert Fico, Slovak PM in life-threatening condition after assassination attempt, Slovak PM Fico in hospital after being shot

Zelenskiy cancels visit to Spain and Portugal

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskiy has cancelled a visit to Spain and Portugal, authorities said on Wednesday. CNN Portugal and other media reported it was because of renewed fighting in his country. Spain's King Felipe of Spain had been due to hold a reception and host a meal in his honour. He had also been expected to sign a bilateral security cooperation agreement.

Armenpress

The Power of One Dram Sums up the Two-Year Program with Teach for Armenia

During November and December 2021, AMD 9,328,753 was transferred to the “Teach for Armenia” educational foundation. The amount gathered within the framework of “The Power of One Dram” initiative of IDBank and Idram. As a result, two schools of Aragatsotn Region have been conducting an education program based on change for two years.

Armenpress, Power of One Dram sums up two-year program with Teach for Armenia

Blinken, guitar in hand, sings ‘Rockin’ in the Free World’ in Kyiv bar

U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken plays guitar and sings Neil Young's "Rockin' in the Free World" with a local band. Blinken assured Ukrainians they are not alone and that billions of dollars in American military aid on its way will make a "real difference" on the battlefield.

Armenpress

Armenia’s ruling party frames anti-government protesters as ‘Russia-backed’ on social media: DEMOCRACY WATCH #4

A CivilNet investigation has found that the campaigns, mostly on Facebook, are generated by the country’s ruling party. Among the main targets is the leader of the protest movement Archbishop Bagrat Galstanyan, the Primate of the Tavush Diocese. They circulate videos and photos suggesting his involvement in a “Russian plan to destabilize Armenia”

CivilNet, Echoes of Déjà Vu: Reviving Resistance in Armenia, Archbishop Bagrat: This is our first victory

India and Iran have announced the launch of the Chabahar port development project

India and Iran signed a ten-year agreement on the development and operation of Iran's Chabahar port. The agreement aims to expand regional communication and facilitate trade, particularly between India, Iran and Afghanistan. India has invested in the infrastructure and modernization of the port, making it a viable transit route for Indian goods to Afghanistan and Central Asia.

CivilNet

U.S. warns Georgia not to side with Moscow against the west

Georgia has been warned by the U.S. not to become an adversary of the west by falling back in line with Moscow.

PanArmenian

💵 Economy

EBRD predicts Armenia’s economy to grow by 6.2% in 2024

The European Bank for Reconstruction and Development expects Armenia’s economy to grow by 6.2% in 2024 and 4,8% in 2025. The EBRD forecasted a 4.5% economic growth in 2024 for Armenia in its previous report, published in September 2023. The World Bank expects the Armenian economy to. grow by 5.5%, the IMF predicts 5% growth for the country's economy in 2024.

ArkaAm

VTB (Armenia) expands opportunities for cross-border money transfers by phone number

Retail customers of VTB Bank (Armenia) can receive money transfers from Russia by phone number. Funds are credited instantly to the recipient's account or card in national currency. In 2023, the bank's retail customers received more than 94 thousand money transfers.

ArkaAm, VTB-Armenia Bank has expanded the possibilities of international transfers by telephone

EBRD has significantly improved the forecast of the growth of the Armenian economy in 2024 to 6.2%

The EBRD predicts 6.2 percent economic growth in Armenia in 2024, and 4.8 percent in 2025. The World Bank expects that Armenia's economy will grow by 5.5 percent in 2024. The IMF predicts a 5 percent growth for the country's economy in 2024 and 2025.

ArkaAm

Donations to Armenia:

Himnadram
ServicemenFund
Armenian Wounded Heroes
ArmeniaFund

I received an evaluation that was clearly half assed by my superivisor. Boss gave me "successful" on everything and despite instructions saying "provide comments supporting your rating" and space provided to do so, the rest of the form is blank. I spoke to Boss. Boss's argument is that they've only observed me for three months of the relevant time period and it's not common to give exceeds expectations. Boss has been there 6 months but apparently only 3 apply to the eval. They are adamant they won't give an "exceptional" in any rating. ("successful" is essentially meets expectations. "exceptional" is going above and beyond.
On the other hand, he's given me an "exceedingly exceptional" offer of a promotion (one level up which oddly has the same pay range as my current position) and at the top of the salary range despite my only having been with organization for just under a year.
His entire attitude when I asked about the potential for salary growth a few weeks ago (for which he hasn't gotten an answer from HR for) was annoyed. As if that's not a reasonable question to ask given yearly raises aren't in line with COL.
I've been working most of two jobs at this place since hiring (one is completely beyond my job description but if those tasks didn't get done I couldn't do my tasks - so it was very much in self defense) and have specialized knowledge. The "promotion" was intended to acknowledge how valuable I am.
Holy mixed messages batman! You can give me an "exceeding exceptional promotion" but you can't give me an exceptional rating on my review? I found and fixed a $60-100K invoicing error and putting processes in place to avoid it happening again (in the relevant three months) along with finding other problems that I've been proactive about resolving.)
He's going to be really pissed when he gets that final reference check from another organization later today. Before the eval issue, it was going to be a very hard decision; he just made it really easy.
(They can't get the new software upgrade done before the existing license expires without me. It's going to cost them another year's license fee and I don't feel bad about that.)

Please note this is the original submission I sent Refinery29. In the current post,they have given me a second credit card with a 100$ balance, as well as generational trauma from World War II and cut context for other things. I am trying to get that fixed.
Per previous discussion in comments here: The espresso machine is a Bezzera, which ranges from 2-5K. We got ours on sale for 1.7K, it’s a work house and we use it everyday, still hurts that we spent that money on a coffee maker.
I do understand mortgage is debt but when you compare it to rent to a lesser value condo in Vancouver it feels like not debt at all, which is how I tend to think of it. Yes I owe my mortgage but also I get my house instead of renting-which may not have become clear.
Please see in full the diary, below (edit for formatting via mobile)
Occupation: Sr Business Analyst
Industry: Tech
Age: 30
Location: Vancouver Island, BC
Salary: 92,000$ (Spouse makes 60,000$ for a combined income of 152,000$ before tax)
Net Worth: ~ 1.2 Million ( house is valued at 989,000$ currently, we have a combined 150,000 in pension, and ~60,000 in various company stocks, and GICs)
Debt: 3,000$ in a zero interest credit card for a 10 month period. We balanced transferred and pay 400$/month. Debt was acquired in Q4 2023 when we had to buy Snow Tires, and do a full break replacement as well as Christmas. 480,000$ in a mortgage, we refinanced in September 2023 for five years fixed rate at accelerated biweekly, however I don’t consider our mortgage debt due to the equity we are gaining, and that our mortgage for a five bedroom, 3 bath single family home is less than rent for a two bedroom condo in Vancouver
Paycheck Amount (Every 2 Weeks): 2,555$ after taxes. (Just mine). Spouse makes 2,308$ after taxes. Our pay periods are alternating.
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses Mortgage: 1450$ biweekly (100$ extra to the principal).
Utilities: ~200$ (includes water [paid quarterly], hydro [paid bimonthly], gas, sewetrash [paid quarterly] phone [highly discounted due to work plans for spouse and myself] and car gas) Loan Payments: 400$/Credit Card
Car Insurance: 84$
Life Insurance: 167$ combined (67$ me, 100$ spouse)
Health & Dental Insurance: 60$ deducted from pay (coverage for myself and spouse from my employer. Spouse also has coverage for both of us deducted from pay)
Retirement Contribution: 400$ (Employee matches me), (Spouse has a defined pension through work and contributes ~200$ month)
Union fees: 70$ Spouse
Subscriptions: Crave 22$/month (Recent splurge for Binge watching the Rookie), Playstation Plus 100$ (annual bought on Black Friday Deal), Amazon Prime 80$ (Annual), BCAA 120$ (annual) Gym 30$/month (we both have one so 15$/pp)
Note: My spouse and I have completely commingled finances. I will be tracking both as it’s essentially I spent whatever they spent
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
There was always the expectation. My father was very clear, we were very smart. There was no way we’d be wasting our potential. He wanted me to be a lawyer, but unlike other immigrant parents, I got to choose my major and went into social sciences and got my masters in history. I deferred my PhD too much so I got dropped by the program.
I chose my university by where I got a full first year scholarship and then after that took about 15k in student loans for my undergraduate. My parents paid my rent and I got a part time job for food.
For my masters, I had a student line of credit and 5 k student loans otherwise it was all my savings and scholarships. With the line of credit, I had a total of 30K in student loans and paid it off in about four years.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Save. We talked about how you get a dollar allowance and half of it goes into long term saving with 25% in short term and 25% in spend.
Investing came after I was eighteen. Family would like us to invest in property, however I don’t really want to be a landlord, but also we wouldn’t get to really enjoy profit of owning a rental property due to other family circumstances.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
Ice cream parlour I was twelve and my parents made me get it for responsibility. I lasted three weeks because I hated it.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I grew up thinking we were not rich, because we didn’t get big plane vacations (I didn’t count flying from Toronto to Vancouver every summer as a vacation since we were just seeing family but staying in a house my parents owned) and I had only been to Disney twice.
But we had a big new build house in the rich end of town, my mom stayed home to raise all of us. We had to work for things (like going to see a movie opening night or a new CD) but we always had money and got what we wanted. In retrospect, my family was/is fairly well off.
Both my parents grew up poor, with parents working multiple jobs and different shifts to make ends meet, the strive/drive to not have that childhood, and for my father to be able to retire his parents really impacted mine and my siblings and cousins lives. My father showed me the apartment he grew up in Chinatown a few years back. It’s light years away from the house my grandparents owned when I was a kid and how I grew up.
Do you worry about money now?
Of course. Inflation is real and we are actively planning a wedding for the next year, as well as a baby in the next few years. We also need to buy a second car, so we’re saving for that.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Fully financially responsible? Twenty five. I lived in a family property where I didn’t pay rent in one of the most expensive cities in Canada, so even though I paid all my bills (food and phone), I didn’t have to pay rent. I in fact made money, as I rented rooms out and used the income for house utilities, and paying my student loans down faster. When I moved in with my spouse, I just paid condo fees until we bought our house two years ago which gave me plenty of time to save.
Our financial safety net is family, and our savings. I know my family would bail us out. My spouse’s father would as well. Conversely, we are my spouse’s mother's safety net and we have to keep all our plans in mind that we will be subsidising her.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. Yes, I received 50K from my parents once they sold my childhood home, as did both of my siblings. I have also received 10K from one set of grandparents which paid off my car and part of my student loans when I was 21. I will be receiving another inheritance when probate is done for around ~100K. My spouse also has received inheritance which allowed them to buy their first condo in their early twenties when the market was much better. That condo, 50k, and the subsequent upgrading helped us afford our house.
Day 1
10 AM: I drive to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. Not how I want to start my Sunday morning but y’know. Normally I’d walk since it’s about 20 minutes but I have a UTI. I’m “lucky” that despite not having a dr because of the health care shortage, my work pays for the Maple app so I could get a dr to write the prescription and order the lab work at 1 am. I’ll do the lab work later this week when I can get an appointment but will take the relief now. Insurance makes the antibiotics free, but I also buy hydrogen peroxide because we’re out and we have a dog that thinks everything is meant to be in her mouth. We’ll buy a bigger one at Costco later. I also bought some oral wound mouthwash because we were out. I come home and my spouse made us breakfast.
Total: 15.90$ paid with debit.
1-2:30 PM: We do our taxes. I have a mini meltdown when I realize the part time bakery job I had for a few months didn’t take off income tax last year, so I owe 800$. Luckily, my partner is getting a refund so we net out positive 400$. The bakery took off income tax in 2022, so unsure why they didn’t in 2023. I made us lunch.
3-6:30 PM: We walk the dog, and watch the Rookie. Some time during that time period, a venue emails us back and is surprisingly affordable at 3k. I also get told that the tattoo artist I want to book with, has not chosen me.
6:30-7:30 PM: I explain what lazy girl dinner is to my spouse and make a lazy girl dinner. After not really grocery shopping since Feb for things besides fresh veg, we need to do a big pantry shop and neither of us want that. We debate about buying a food saver and if we should wait for a sale. My spouse is more frugal than me and has determined we should.
8-9:30 PM: We start season 3 of The Rookie, and then after two episodes we go to bed
Day One Total: 15.90$
Day Two
5:45-8 AM: Wake up and start work. I get up to date with what’s happened on the weekend and check that my automated reports. Sometime before 6:30, I get the kettle on for my spouse’s pour over before I go back to my meetings. There’s a twenty minute gap where I get changed and do my skin care and brush my teeth. I’d love to be a skin care person but honestly I’ve spent too much money on product that I don’t use and that just goes bad. Washing my face and using sun screen is a win.
I also make sure that Spouse’s lunch is in his bag and I get our travel mugs ready. Before, we used to go to Starbucks every day. Starbucks used to do free refills on coffee and tea if you were a rewards member if you bought a coffee or tea so it would cost us $5/day (2.5/pp), and we could get refills all day. While that’s 20$/week, 80$/a month and yes, we could have saved it but back then, that 80$ wasn’t turning the dial anywhere significantly for us—a privileged view.
But now, after COVID where I stopped drinking tea after one day working from home having like 10 cups and thinking I was dying, and Spouse has bought a good grinder and we recently splurged on a stupidly expensive espresso machine we call his Engagement Espresso since it costs the same price as my stupidly expensive ring, we bring our coffees.
8-8:30 AM: We drive to work. Prior to buying our house, we were both work from home and lived in a city with amazing transit. We only needed the one car. Since buying the house and moving to a city where public transit is a joke (the one bus goes past our house every 1.5h), Spouse changed jobs and is in office every day and I have to go in 3 days a week. We need a second car or the e-bike rebate to come through. We debate this in the car, since I’m done at 1 pm, and Spouse works normal hours, I either have to take the bus home, or go to the gym for three hours. Today though, I drop Spouse off. I will pick him up later as he has a half day because of the dentist
8:30-12:30 AM/PM: Work. I find a tech manager and ask them to get me more triple a batteries. Work won’t provide or let me expense batteries for my mouse, despite them replacing my usb mouse with a battery one. The poor admin had to tell me the decision is that we’ll all supply our own batteries. Luckily the tech managers have to have batteries on hand and give them out freely.
I ask my boss how the work from home tax forms work, and he is going to find out.
I run more meetings and work on a request for a dashboard and a business case for a new feature that I have to convince leadership to spend money on.
12:30-1 PM: I drive back to my Spouse because he has a dentist appointment.
While I wait for a spouse, I am incredibly hungry. I’m usually not hungry/don’t eat a proper meal until around 1 in the afternoon and my two granola bars I already ate at the office. I go to the bakery by Spouse’s work and buy a cheese bun for me (3.65$), and an apple pie scone (2.55$) for Spouse as a snack. Spouse points out he won’t be able to eat until after his appointment.
Total: 6.20$ debit
1-1:30 PM: I drop Spouse off, and the car stops working. The engine won’t catch. I try multiple times and then run into the dentist to dramatically announce to Spouse and the receptionists that the car won’t start. Spouse asks me what he wants me to do about this, since he’s about to go into an appointment. A very kind receptionist tells me it might be the alternator. I don’t know what that is.
I go back to the car to Facetime my father. He also asks what I think he can do to help since he lives 3000 km away. Weirdly, and sexistly, I thought a man who grew up at race tracks, in a racing family, or the man who has collected and worked on sports cars for forty years might be able to help.
Spouse texts me to remind me we have BCAA while my father also tells me that. I finally get the engine to catch and drive the very long way home, going the speed limit and getting stuck in traffic, construction and a bus. It takes me 20 minutes to get home instead of 10.
1:30-2:30 PM: I walk the dog, mail a (late) birthday card and then start researching what an alternator is. The car is over a decade old and until the house, the most expensive thing I ever bought at 12K back in 2015. We have the funds for the cost, but it’s my first car and the fact it might be the end of its life is scary.
Alternators can cost between 400-800$ repair with labour, so that’s fun.
My dad calls me back and apologises for asking me what he could do away. He advises me that there’s probably a bald spot on the alternator and advises me to go to the mechanic to check or replace it, if the car doesn’t start again.
I call the mechanic to book an appointment, and to also get the snow tires off and to buy new rims for the snow tires. The mechanic lets me know that the alternator part is 500$, and an hour of labour so with taxes we’re looking at around 700$
That future appointment next week (we’re going down a highway this weekend which requires snow tires) will cost ~1.5K, assuming we replace the alternator.
I make lunch and sigh.
2:30 PM: The car starts thankfully. I drive incredibly slow. I pick up Spouse by idling the car. We get an email back from a venue saying they cost 75,000$ minimum. The timing is hysterical.
Due to the nature of the dentist, Spouse owes 618$, as they haven’t flipped it under my insurance. They split it in half, as he has a follow up in two weeks. After the next appointment they will flip the whole amount under me and we’ll get reimbursed for the whole amount.
Total 309$/credit card.
3-10 PM: We walk the dog, make dinner (Spouse makes white sauce pasta, with chicken and peas) and watch The Rookie. There are thirteen episodes in season three, and we will be busy every night this week besides Friday and Sunday, and I would like to finish season three so we can start season 4 next Monday. I don’t want to pay for more than one month of Crave. We have five episodes left
Day Two Total: 315.2$
Day Three
1 AM: 100$ is automatically transferred from our account to the credit card debit. We have an auto transfer of 100$/every Tuesday to a Visa where we balance transferred both our cards. We have an offer for 0 interest for 10 months, so we did that for some of the bigger expenses (snow tires, break replacement and general Christmas) and are on track to pay it back within the next 6 months. That visa is our emergency card that we just have in the back end and utilise for promos like this. It allows us to keep our two cards balances manageable and lets us pay in an easier way than taking big chunks out of our various savings.
Total: 100$/direct deposit
5:45-9 AM: Work. Meetings, reports, trying to convince a colleague that the process does include them and refusal to follow it means that their requests won’t be done. Spouse has another half day so I can go into the office at my leisure—if the car starts
9-9:20 AM: The car starts, I get into the office and refresh a data flow before a meeting with a new stake holder. It takes longer to drive into work today because the tourists are starting to come and their van builds or campers are not exactly highway speed and with a two lane highway, if you don’t merge over fast enough you’re stuck.
10:05-10:20 AM: Meeting done, car starts again and I drive home for more meetings. The least amount of time in the office is preferable for me.
10:30-11AM : Meeting with my manager where we discuss future salary and promotion. I am due for a promotion in the start of Q2, which would push me to six figures. I’ll believe it when I see it but, I’m really excited at that possibility for my family.
11:15 AM: Spouse leaves for work, we discuss what groceries are needed, as well if he’ll go to Home Depot tonight to buy more clover seeds for the yard, as we need to reseed before it starts raining. I eat a muffin and my dog and cat decide to try and eat each other.
11:15-1:30 PM: Work runs late. There’s some issues with the data and we can’t figure it out. We call it a night, and I’ll record the video presentations tomorrow, once we fix the data.
1:30-4 PM: Nap time! It’s bad for me, but honestly I don’t sleep well during the night so naps are what keep me alive.
4-6 PM I prep dinner (smash burgers and fries), and get chores done and walk the dog.
6-7:30 PM: Spouse comes home, we eat dinner. Groceries come to 96.83 for two 7 pound pork loins, two packs of bacon, chicken nuggets, coffee, pop, 8 pack of peppers, milk, tomato, pickles, rice, avocado, mushrooms, sour cream and lettuce.
Not too bad, we average about 300$/month in groceries because we can buy bulk and have a second freezer.
For the month of March we are currently at 123.61$ for groceries and there is twelve days left. We went on a small weekend away, so we ate out a fair bit but even then our current food budget is 272.27$ today.
Total: 96.83/ debit
7:30-10 PM: Spouse makes a coffee and plays video games with his friends. They do it every week. I have a shower, fold and put away laundry and read in bed.
Day Three Total: 196.83
Day Four
1AM: Our biweekly accelerated mortgage payment comes out of 1450$. I’m tracking it here to be honest on our spending but I tend not to think of it as money spent because in my head it’s already money gone. To pay for a house equivalent in Vancouver, the mortgage would be over 6k. Renting a two bedroom condo would be 3K. It feels like the mortgage is just cheaper rent, even though each time I own more of my house.
5:45-9 AM: Work. I find out the limits of how many people I can invite to a Teams Meeting as well as that the Thursday before Good Friday is a catholic holiday when a few people ask me to reschedule a training forum for over a thousand people. Sometime in there I make us coffee, make sure Spouse has lunch packed (leftovers). Spouse has walked the dog and has the recycling and compost out for pick up. I drop Spouse off at work.
10-11:45 AM: I leave the office for home and more meetings. I walk the dog and go record training videos. I get an email that Amazon is doing their big spring sale. I send a link to a robot mop and vaccum that’s on a big discount to Spouse. We want one, but I’m not in charge of the research on it. I send links to play grounds to my friends with toddlers
11:45-12:30 PM : I shove lunch in my mouth, last night’s left overs. I’m running late, and decide to get myself later by collecting all the random dishes and mugs that just show up places and start the dishwasher. I get to the lab ten minutes early but need to buy gas on the way home.
I tell my team I’ll be MIA for a bit and leave the work phone in the car.
I buy 15.6L of gas for 30$ at 1.879/l it sucks. I don’t fill up because we’re going to my in laws this weekend and there’s a Costco Gas Bar there.
Total: 30$/credit card
12:30-1:30 PM: Work goes long again.
1:30-2:30 PM: Nap!
2:30-4:30 PM: Walk the dog and drive to the gym. I usually go three times a week but with last week’s weekend away and this week’s weird half days from Spouse, today’s the only day. I make it up by doing both upper and lower body and a 30 minute circuit.
4:30-7:30 PM: I pick up Spouse and we go to Costco. We pick up nachos, ham, cheese buns and some other items. We debate buying our friend’s kid a toddler set of clothes and decide no. We end up buying work pants for Spouse, and a garden hose. It comes out to 116.90
I order our Costco dinner of hot dogs and fries for a grand total date night of 6.41$
Total: 123.31/ credit card
8-9 PM: Dance class! We bought a series of six lessons of introduction to ballroom back in December for a new date night idea. We paid 60$/pp and this is the fifth lesson tonight.
9 pm: We’re home, we let the dog out. Spouse spends an undetermined amount of time watching ballroom videos while I sleep.
Day Four Total: 1603.31$ or 153.31 excluding the mortgage payment.
Day Five
5:45-9 AM: Work. All the meetings. Thursday is the meeting day. I debate with a friend what’s the earliest call we’ve had. 4:30 am still wins. I pack lunch for Spouse and his coffee and he leaves. I end up cleaning up cat puke as the cat decides to drink milk from Spouse’s cereal and vomit it up on camera in a meeting.
9-9:30 AM: I make myself a matcha and walk the dog.
9:30-1 PM: Work and I treat myself to a lunch of a cheese bun and ham sandwhich. We used to eat it every Sunday while growing up but the cost of ham has been outrageous. The deal at Costco yesterday was 1.5$/100 g which is really good.
1-1:30 PM: I seal the wooden deer Christmas decoration we bought last year. It sits outside our front door and needs to be weather proofed, and I’ve been putting it off for five months. But the weather is good and we have newspapers. We have left over wood sealer after the sign we bought a year ago so I use that. The dog and the cat both don’t like my wooden deer.
1:30-4 PM: Nap!
4-5 PM: I basically just watch youtube and drink a root beer. I have no energy.
5-6:30 PM: Spouse comes home, we walk the dog and I make dinner (Kraft Dinner and nuggets–I swear we eat veggies but today is not that day). We discuss the possibility of our dog at our wedding as a flower girl, and if she’ll be in a tutu or a cheongsam like me. I am now researching if they make dog cheongsams and if she can match us. The cat, despite all my heart wanting it, won’t physically be there because he will have an anxiety attack and probably die.
6:30-10:30 PM: Board game night! We go to a friend’s to repeat the same scenario we’ve lost two weeks in a row.
10:30-11 PM: I pack Spouse’s breakfast (oatmeal and frozen berries), lunch (spicy tuna and mayo) since he’s trying to go to the gym before work, and feed the animals before we go to bed.
Day Five Total: 0$
Day Six Friday
5:45-9 AM: Work. I have a deep focus block which means I can get the script for the training I have to run. Public speaking is not my strong suit and it’s a group of a thousand people so I’m not looking forward to it. Spouse almost makes it to the gym. I get an email that my new work phone has shipped. I’m surprised because they wouldn’t order us any for the past four years, but I guess my new iPhone will show up next week. I might give my old work phone to my mother in law, since she smashed the camera on the phone we bought her last year.
9-9:30 AM: I walk the dog, make a matcha and make a todo list for what we have to get done before we leave to my in laws tomorrow. I text my mother in law happy birthday, and hope that she got the card in time. She did.
9:30-11:30 AM: My last meeting for the week ends and I’m debating calling it a day so I can nap. Instead I make lunch (cheese bun and ham), text my other mother in law our plan for Saturday, and unload and reload the dishwasher and go back to work for at least another hour.
12:30-1 PM: I shower and do skin care
1-3 PM: Nap! Somewhere in this time FedEx comes and since I’m sleeping, we have to pick up on Monday. I’m not too sure what it is, I assume it’s our custom address stamp from Etsy because that’s the only thing I’ve bought recently but not too sure. I just realized in retrospect, this might be my new work phone.
3-5 PM: I prep dinner (nachos), unload the dishwasher, pack my overnight bag and confirm all our venue tours by email. I start a load of laundry and do a quick clean. I feel like this is not the best image of our diet. I swear we generally eat healthy but we both have been feeling really blah over the past two weeks so have been going for quick and easy over healthy and balanced. I do have three whole peppers and two whole avocados in the nachos though.
5-7 PM: Spouse comes home, we walk the dog, have dinner, and plan out next week. We have a big Wednesday next week (mechanic, I have a nails appointment, dance class), and we are having our friends over for Easter so we need to prep for that. We pack the car so tomorrow is a very easy start.
Spouse also gets paid today. We’re lucky that we’re on alternating pay periods, we used to be on the same and it always felt stressful. Spouse also lets me know his union has secured a 3% cost of living raise to start in Q3. I really like his union for negotiating a base 2% year of cost of living raise, with potential addition raises depending on inflation. It’s a bit away but that’s still good news.
7:30-10:30 PM: We finish The Rookie Season 3 and head to bed. Crave reminds me that I have 10 days until I’m charged again. Sadly, I think we’ll have to pay for 2 months.
Day Six Total: 0
Day Seven Saturday
8:30-9:30 AM: Wake up. No one (except the dog) slept well so we’re not in a morning mood. Spouse makes coffee and walks the dog, while I finish packing the car and give the cat a lot of attention. Our first venue tour is at 11 and the one that is the most expensive (8-10K), but also the one we probably want the most. We live about an hour away but the highway is two lanes and one accident can back everything up for hours.
10:40-1 PM: We visit our dream venue. We stay way longer than expected. Basically if the quote is under 10K, we’ll get it. Just waiting now.
1-2 PM: We get to our in-laws and have a lunch of egg salad sandwhichs. We need to buy gas. My in laws drive us to a pottery painting store.
2-4 PM: We paint pottery. My mother in law only wanted to do this for her birthday. They’ll pick it up in a week after it’s been thrown. I paint a vase (28$), Spouse paints an Easter egg (18$), father in law paints a mug (30$), and mother in law paints a plate (50$)
Total:143.36/credit card
4-5 Pm: We see another venue. It’s an instant no. My in laws decide they want to try Korean fried chicken. We call ahead for take out to get two fries and 16 pieces of half and half. It comes to 50.83$ that my in laws pay for.
5-10 PM: We come back and see that our dog has pooped in their house and also has gotten into their pantry and eaten an entire bag of dog food. It is not a fun night.
We spend the night drinking wine and discussing the wedding and watching TV.
10PM: We go to bed. That’s the end of this week, but tomorrow we will be buying gas and probably lunch for my other mother in law as we will be touring another venue.
Day Seven Total: 143.36$

Basic suggestions for the easy distracted: -Enraged Guttermen should still be parry-able but it shouldn’t heal the player or damage the Guttermen. -Virtues should be removed from the game or maybe just get some tech to negate their beam a bit. -More red rocket tech plz… -Boss tracker around the cursor that points to bosses so I’m not blindsided by a blue translucent man with no face.
I know it’s meant to be a difficulty for the insane (like me) but I just wasn’t having fun fighting enemies. Violent let players still absolutely destroy enemies if they were skilled at the game but certain enemies just don’t feel fun to fight anymore.
Guttermen went from one of my favorite enemies to one of my least favorite just from the enrage state they enter now. The increased tracking on the gun don’t feel awful and it encourages the gameplay the Guttermen are best at promoting but that enrage state makes me start to pull my hair out… I think parrying should still work while a tank is enraged it just shouldn’t deal damage to the Guttermen or heal the player but the attack should be negated.
There’s also a special place in my heart for the buffs to virtues. They went from an area denier to a area remover. I don’t think the size was buffed but the duration definitely was. Greed feels like high wave cyber grind with like only two of these idiots flying about. Give just anti virtue beam tech. Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. An uncomfortably small room. An uncomfortably small room with orbital lasers. The orbital lasers made me crazy…
I don’t really mind the removal of the Guttertanks parry cause you can always just lube him up before you start fisting his holes. I just wish the red rocket launcher had some more tech than just weakening enemies.
I am working towards P-ranking Act-2 but I honestly don’t know if I will be beating P-2. Minos was an absolute slog (my average lifespan was about 21 seconds) and I don’t really want to go through another two and a half hour prime soul cuck session. I ultimately just spammed the drill and parried that one orange snake attack to kill Minos. I knew most of his callouts but it doesn’t really matter when I can’t even track him cause he just teleported to the other side of the arena and he is already CRUSHing me by the time my brain connects the dots. A boss tracker pointing towards bosses around the cursor would really help. If I knew where the boss is I could actually dodge/parry the attacks that are coming my way.
Anyway thanks for listening to my Ted talk, goodnight.

TLDR: I (28M) just joined a new company, which is only my second job in an industry I’m still new to. I needed to leave my last job. The company I joined wanted to move quick vs. my #1 choice, which had a delay in sending an offer. I joined the one that sent me an offer. My #1 choice was aware of both the offer I received and later, that I accepted it since my #1 didn’t give me anything on paper. One week in, and my #1 choice is still pursuing me and ready to move forward now. My gut worries are not alleviated with my new company, and my gut is telling me I made a mistake. I am worried that I’m being hasty with still feeling a pull towards my #1 choice and not giving this a chance. Any advice appreciated.
Here’s the long story.
I started in an entry level advertising (account management) job two years ago. The learning curve was steep but it was an established company, and had a strong process and structure on an account which is a top 3 worldwide electronics giant. I learned the work quickly. Made plenty of mistakes but I matured into the role and performed really well, so I earned a promotion last September. Overall, until the last 4 months or so, I genuinely loved it even though the workload was honestly leaning towards unreasonable. There was a reluctance from management to get more hands on deck to help out, and an increasing number of projects streaming in, and it started to bleed into my personal life because the day left me so unbelievably exhausted I had no energy to do anything else. Even trying to do the bare minimum at work, to help alleviate this a bit, was a lot of work regardless. I was one of the best at my job in my company and even then missing things left and right because of the sheer number of deliverables and ridiculous timelines. On top of this, my raise kept getting pushed out because of financial issues at the company (what’s that got to do with me lol?) and my raise which was supposed to happen 5 months ago didn’t get activated. This obviously led to burnout and eventually in me deciding to send out job applications 3 months ago. I was still getting paid effectively an intern’s salary even until my last day. Even so, I gave it 100% until the literal last minute and made sure to create lots of resources for whoever would replace me. I left on a positive note with everyone, including my boss who I have great respect for.
Long story short, I had/have two main companies pursuing me - Company A and Company B. Both offered the same salary, which was a significant jump in pay over even my raise amount, so that was sorted and not an issue. That was my main priority.
With that aside, what I was looking for was basically, in priority order:

1. Clear avenue for growth and development since I’m still relatively new to the industry
2. Strong culture/a fun team, good relationships- I get a ton of my energy from social interactions and it’s important to me that I see myself getting along with team members
3. Management and boss I could see myself learning from and working with, that is interested in my growth
4. Strong structure and process - need this to be able to work effectively
5. Collaborative client with a good reputation
6. Diversify my expertise and do something new

My first job in this industry, which I left, hit all of the above for most of my time there.
Company A, pursuing me, was my first choice, after having met with them a few times over the course of a month. They hit all my requirements and I felt a sense of excitement when they got serious about moving to send an offer. However, they did not. They were working on getting approval to hire and budget, and it got to a point whereI was not sure when they’d be able to send me an offer (and they weren’t sure either apart from a vague timeline).
Company B met with me 3 times. They hit points 1 and 5, and MAYBE 3. This company went through restructuring, so my boss and his boss are both new. My boss started 6 days before I did. His boss started 3 months ago. In the interview, my boss, who hadn’t started yet, gave me a good feeling. It seemed like we were very similar people actually and have a similar way of working. Company B has one main client, and is actually a subsidiary of that client’s parent company, so client is very collaborative and open to new ideas. The main opportunity I saw here was that because they were essentially rebuilding their main marketing channel, it was a chance to lay the groundwork for a process and program, and so, a great chance to grow quickly. That said, it was a concern because I know from my past that without existing structure I can start to get disorganized and wean off caring about doing good work. It can get messy very easily.
Company B wanted to move quick. I also wanted to move quick as I really needed to get out. I relayed my concerns to the people & culture SVP about structure, about how it’s kind of worrying that even my boss is new, and the overall vagueness with details. She was reassuring enough that I felt at ease. However, she almost pressured me to give them an answer about moving forward. I said I’ll get back to them in a couple of days. I let Company A know that I’ll need to hear back from them soon but that without anything on paper I will accept the offer I have. Company A said they’ll expedite and hoped for a couple more days to send an offer. They didn’t send an offer and I accepted Company B’s offer with an open mind.
I gave my two weeks notice and didn’t hear any updates from Company B about on-boarding or HR things until 2 days before I started. On my last day at my last job, Company A gave me a phone call and insisted they really still want to go forward and to keep in touch in a week or so to let them know if I was still interested. I said ok.
Company B sent me my laptop to get set up for my first day and it was both damaged and without my credentials, and without any of the required software that it was meant to come with. They sorted it out on my first day but honestly this gave me a bad first impression. The days since have been weird. My boss is still learning too so I legit have no direction yet on what I need to be responsible for. The workplace is quiet and kind of dull but friendly. The team feels silo’d and even though I’ve reached out to ask if I can help on something, I’ve basically got nothing. I’ve been using my time to get things organized as they make sense to, and to get acquainted with what’s ongoing and the client. Not really confused about anything as the work I’m anticipating seems familiar enough. But I’m bored. I don’t have any feeling of excitement with something new, and i’m used to being busy.
Am I jumping the gun with not giving this a chance, or just need to be patient? Is it just me being uncomfortable with change? Is it because I still have Company A poaching me, and me feeling pulled towards it? My job is important to me because it’s been an important source of stability and helpful for my self esteem and confidence over the last couple of years. I feel fearful of losing that.

I would like to start this off by saying I'm sorry; this is a long one, and I appreciate any advice or help I can get. Also, to anyone willing to read this, thank you so much! I'm currently looking for a new job but having no luck, so I'm trying to also improve my current situation as much as I can.
I’m 28 and work in California for a school district in IT, and I love IT. The only problem is my boss. I've worked this job for almost 5 years now, and he has been the boss at this school district for almost 10 years. He's really good at the IT side of his job, but as a manager, not so much. He likes to call his employees morons, yell at and reprimand employees in front of coworkers. He's now caused several employees to quit or seek therapy (including myself). One time, I was sitting in my office working on a project, and he yelled across the office, "Gojo, get your ass in here," for the whole office to hear, and then proceeded to chew me out with the office door open and the entire office listening. He believes fear is a good management tool, which isn't really my style. His current thing to do is trying to pit us against each other and talk trash about other employees when they aren’t around. He micro manages everything you do and calls you stupid if you aren’t doing something exactly the way he wants you to. If there is a way you can save literally TWO seconds on a task and you aren’t doing it that way, he gets upset. After he does all of that, then he tries to be nice and talk about video games with you or buy the office food or let people go home 20 minutes early, but then it’s right back to the usual harassment.
Almost a year ago, I interviewed for and got the open Tech II position, promoted from Tech I. At the time, I was interested because I would learn a lot of things that would help me get different jobs, and it was a little more money. I regretted this promotion really early on. I dread coming to work and several times almost quit on the spot with no job lined up. Therapy has helped a lot with these emotions.
Outside of my boss being terrible, he also piles on work and gives the line, "You’re a Tech II now; you should be able to do all of this," or "You’re a Tech II; you have to figure out how to balance all the work." Currently, I’m balancing 12 projects, providing tech support for our district office, working as an escalation point for our Tech I’s(we have 4 soon to be 6 and they support 15 schools), and assisting our network admin with his projects. While I’m trying to do all that, my boss is also yelling from across the hall, adding more tasks that he needs me to work on and needs to be done that day. As a Tech I, your main task was working on help tickets for about 3 schools, and then during the summer, you helped with some projects. This promotion got me a whole $2 an hour increase in pay.
I am currently working on getting a new job. I’m applying for city, county, and state IT positions, but they take months before they even start interviewing for those positions, and the entire process is taking a long time. In the meantime, I’m reaching out to my union to see if I’m able to demote back down to Tech I. That doesn’t help with the boss situation, but it does help with the lack of compensation for all the extra work.
As far as my boss goes, I want to report him to HR, but I have no physical evidence, and most of my coworkers are afraid. I’m starting to document in my notes every time he is inappropriate, the date and time of that incident, and who was a witness. He’s pretty smart about how he does everything, nothing in writing, no emails, or texts. If I do report him, it has to be enough to actually get him fired. I’ve been told teachers have reported him to HR in the past, then HR has told his boss, and then his boss tells him about who reported him, and nothing has ever come out of it. He likes to hire people new to the industry or really young people so they are less likely to push back at him or are too intimidated to report him. He has bragged to us several times about how if he ever did get fired he’s taking people down with him because he knows all the districts dirty secrets.
How can I legally obtain evidence of his abuse? What should I know about reporting bosses to HR? I don’t know what to do anymore. I really appreciate anyone who took the time to read through this. I have plenty more examples of his abuse if anyone needs more, this was already a really long post so I didn't want to add more.
TL:DR My boss is abusive and has made several people quiet. I’m being overworked and not being equally compensated. How do I Get him fired?

First / Previous
Back on the job, my eyes kept going to the camera that was on enclosure one. Andrew told me its real name, but I think that’d be a step too far, putting that out on the internet. I’d just stick with ‘Steve the bear’. Whatever it was, I just knew I’d have a nightmare about it eventually. Last night I slept fitfully but okay. But I know my brain, and I’d already had a nightmare about Yui stabbing me with one of her legs (they are not needle-sharp in real life, this was dream logic) and walking around, having not noticed I was a Ripley-kebab on her leg. I kept trying to get her attention but for some reason I’d been worried about sounding rude.
On my third walk around the zoo, at about 12 a.m. I saw Leila again, who I’d been noticing more and more often. She never looked interested in talking, only walking through the enclosures, and by that I meant any and all of them. She didn’t seem to have a favorite. I assume that however much of her mind that was left over from being alive still gravitated toward looking at the animals, since getting too close was what killed her in the first place.
Then, in enclosure eight, I saw a new creature and stopped abruptly. This one looked chill, but I wasn’t about to make any assumptions. It looked unique in a strange way, shaped like a giant lizard but built like a big cat of some sort. It had an uncanny valley human face, green hair for a mane, and also a horn like a unicorn. It felt like something drawn by an imaginative five-year-old brought to life, but was still somehow oddly endearing.
“Hello,” she spoke, noticing me noticing her. Her voice was distinctly female and oddly deep.
“Hello,” I responded with false cheer.
She pushed herself to her feet and I took an instinctive step back, but she didn't seem to notice, much less take offense. “You’re the guard here?”
“Yup. That’s me.”
“Thank you.”
I blinked, taken aback. “Ah…you’re welcome. For what?”
She cocked her head. “For guarding me.”
That was different. Most of the impressions I had gotten from the animals so far were that they wanted to eat me. And the idea that this one was thankful for me doing my job was refreshing, don’t get me wrong, but made me wary. Call me a cynic, I guess.
“My name is tàiyang. You can call me Sun,” she told me.
“Hi, Sun. I’m Ripley.”
Then she looked toward the sky. “It’s going to rain tonight.”
After a thoughtful moment, I asked, “Does that make you sad?”
“Why would it make you sad?”
I smiled. “Because your name is Sun.”
She paused and then said, “I don’t understand.”
Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, telling a pun to one of the animals. “Never mind.” I glanced up at the sky. “I thought the rain is supposed to stay away from here. Are the ones who told me that wrong?”
“Yes.”
“Well that’s good to know,” I murmured to myself, thinking of my raincoat hanging in the security office closet. It wasn’t that surprising, honestly. Sometimes I felt like the meteorologists in Arkansas try to read the entrails of goats to figure out the weather. It’s all a mess and it’s all made up.
At that, the animal looked to the sky and fell silent. She appeared to be the most uneventful introduction I’d had so far, and I was incredibly grateful for it. Except then the animal kept talking. “He’s under a spell.”
I blinked. “What?”
She looked back to me. “Andrew. He’s under a spell. He’s very unhappy.”
I had no idea how to react to that. For a second I just stared. The sudden jolt of being told my boss was currently being afflicted by magic left me floundering. “He… What?” I finally asked. “Where is he?”
“In his office.”
Oh shit. My eyes instinctively darted in the direction of the main office. I always just entered through the door on the west side of the building, of course, since it led to the security room. It was unnecessary for me to go through the door that first led into the lobby-slash-office Andrew worked out of. Sometimes he even left early, so it was locked anyway. I had the key, but again, it was unnecessary.
Whatever had happened, assuming this animal wasn’t joking around (she seemed completely serious), I needed to establish whether she was right. Leaving the enclosure of the animal I’d just met, I quickly walked back to the small building.
Taking a deep breath, I knocked loudly. “Andrew, are you in there?”
The only reply was silence. I stood there until enough time had passed that it was obvious that no one was coming to answer the door. Taking out my phone, I dialed his cell number and wait as it rang. Then I grimaced when I heard it ringing inside.
Hanging up and shoving the phone back in my pocket, I stared at the closed door.
Trying the doorknob, I found that it was unlocked, and my heart skipped a beat. Andrew always locked his office before leaving. Opening the door slowly, the lights were off in the room, leaving only the faint red glow of the lights outside peeking around his curtains, so I turned on a light. Then my heart plummeted into my stomach, because there was Andrew, splayed limply on the ground, his eyes only half open.
I bolted to him and dropped to his side as he let out a whimper.
“Andrew,” I said, putting two fingers to the side of his neck. He remained silent, and despite his relaxed, wilted appearance, his heart was racing, and I wondered if he was in pain. The room smelled, and it was clear to me that he’d lost control of his bowels. I couldn’t believe I’d been working here for hours without knowing he was in the next room like this.
“Fucking hell. I’m so sorry it took me so long to find you. Can you hear me? What happened?” He made a small sound, unfocused eyes attempting to meet mine, but it was as if he were severely deprived of sleep or something, unable to focus. His mouth opened and he tried to say something, but he couldn’t speak. All I got was halting words mushed into each other. I felt for him; he must’ve been mortified by his condition. I would’ve been, at least.
The obvious solution would be to get Suzanne’s number from Andrew’s phone, so I searched him for it and found it in his right jacket pocket. I pressed the button the iPhone, swiped, and let out a sigh of frustration. He was security conscious enough to lock his phone with a code, of course.
“Can you… You can’t tell me the code,” I said knowing. He grunted quietly.
“What happened?”
I shrieked and jumped to my feet. Leila stood in the doorway, staring in shock at Andrew’s body. “You scared the bejesus out of me,” I exclaimed. I stopped myself before asking if she could make some noise when she moved or if I could put a bell on her. “What does it look like happened? Someone put a spell on him.” Abruptly, my stance changed, standing up straight. “Wait. Do you know how to get in touch with…anyone?” I asked desperately.
“I know Ms. Cooper’s phone number,” she said frankly.
My eyes widened. “Seriously? How?”
“Andrew gave it to me after I worked here for three months.”
That stopped my brain dead in its tracks. “You…used to work here?” I whispered. I remembered Andrew telling me that one of the night shift managers had been killed, but he hadn’t told me it was Leila. Whether it was for her own privacy or her dignity or some other reason, it didn’t really matter. What mattered was that I could call Suzanne.
“I worked here for three months,” Leila confirmed as I took out my own phone.
“Okay…what’s her number?” I asked, ready to dial. She rattled off the number and dialed it.
The phone rang twice times before someone answered. “Hello?”
“Hi, is this Suzanne?”
“Yes, who’s this?”
She had a British accent like Andrew did. I took a deep breath and said, “It’s Ripley Mason. I got your number from Leila. I’m here in Andrew’s office and he’s in really bad shape. Someone cast a spell on him and it’s like he’s lost control of the part of his brain that lets him move around and speak.”
“What?” she snapped. “What happened?”
“I-I don’t know,” I said, glancing back to Andrew. He actually looked calmer now, and I hoped that was because he knew Suzanne could fix this. “I was doing my rounds and I met Sun; she’s the one that told me and that’s why I came into his office. I don’t- Who would do this? What do I do?”
“It’s okay, Ripley. I’ll leaving now and will be there soon,” she told me. I heard rustling in the background, the sounds of getting out of a chair and footsteps. “Did you check the security cameras?”
My eyes shut in irritation against my stupidity. It hadn’t even occurred to me. “I’m sorry. Of course, I’ll do that right away.” Proof positive that I was completely out of it. Some security guard I was, not even able to keep my head in an emergency.
“Don’t apologize, Ripley, you’re quite within your rights to be discombobulated at the moment,” she said. “And I’d like you stay with Andrew, but I would prefer to know what happened. Leave his side just for a second to check the footage.
“Okay.” I crouched down to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be right back.” His eyes flicked to me, but he didn’t make a sound. Getting back to my feet and walking over to the security room door, I went in and sat at my desk, putting the phone on speaker so I could more easily navigate the footage.
After fidgeting around with the unfamiliar aspect of the program, since I’d never needed to look back before and Andrew only showed me how to do it once, I finally went back to the point where the spell had been cast. “Okay, he walked into his office with two men at…4:08 p.m. and it looks like he was fine with it. He wasn’t under duress, from what I can see.”
“That’s likely Michael Wise and Eric Henry,” Suzanne told me. “They were allegedly making a donation, a herd of Bagot goats.”
“Allegedly?”
“Well, I’m operating under the assumption that they lied if Andrew is spelled.”
I grimaced. That was a good point. Watching them have a conversation, I saw Andrew tense, and then turn to dart toward his desk, but he only made it two steps before one of the men raised what looked like a wand, snapping it in my late boss’s direction, speaking something. As I saw Andrew’s body seize like he’d been hit with a taser and collapse, I hissed in a sharp breath. “Cripes.”
“What is it?”
“One of them had a wand,” I managed. “He-He did something with it.”
“I’m here, Ripley. Come back to the office.”
My eyes widened and I did as I was told, stunned to see her opening the front door. “How did you get here so fast?” I asked.
The woman gave me a small smile, rendered grim by the situation. “Call it a trick of the trade.”
“Oh. Gotcha.”
Suzanne was all hard edges, her pin-straight blond hair cut at an angle just below her ears, and she wore a smart blue pants suit with matching pumps. But then she looked to Andrew and her face softened, despair and fury flashing across it as she quickly walked to him and knelt at his side, taking his weak hand in hers.
“Oh, Andrew,” she whispered. “I’m so, so sorry. You’ll be okay. I already texted a healer and asked her to come by. A friend of mine named Janine.”
I looked back to Andrew’s face, his eyes open and his expression one of exhaustion, but then quickly looked to Suzanne. “Why would someone do this?” I asked.
“I have a feeling at least one of our animals is missing,” she told me, her voice low and hard.
Anger flared up in me. “What?” I asked tersely. I glanced back in the direction of the cameras. “Should we check the cameras to see which enclosure they went to? Do we- Are there cops you can call for this? What do we do?”
Suzanne’s face slowly faded to sadness. “I’ll take care of it,” she said. “You’re accurate in that I do have a different police I’ll call about this. But there’s a good chance we won’t get the animal back.”
“Wait, why? Come on, there’s got to be magic you could do, right?” I asked anxiously.
“The animal will have been warded and sold to someone immediately,” she explained. “They would’ve had a buyer set up, and gone straight there to reduce the risk of being caught with it. Anyone who is buying an animal like this is extremely powerful, which means that even if we catch the men who stole it, they’d go to prison, but they wouldn’t risk angering the buyer. They won’t tell the authorities who it was, even for a lesser sentence. Losing an animal to robbery has only happened twice in the zoo’s history, this is the third time, but that’s how it played out both times. Actually, in the first instance, the police didn’t even catch the people who took it, since they were wearing masks.”
Just then, there was a knock at the door, and Suzanne pushed herself to her feet, walking over and opening it without hesitation. “He’s in here.” I took the opportunity to open the windows and turned down the thermostat so it would start displacing the smelly air.
A woman walked in, Janine presumably. “Oh, goodness,” she breathed, going quickly to Andrew. She took his pulse with one hand as she pulled a wand out from her purse with the other. “It’s good he’s staying calm. Redire orior can be terrifying to be subjected to.”
“He wasn’t calm when I got here,” I told her quietly. “I’ve been here for hours and didn’t know he was here until just a few minutes ago.”
Janine swore softly. “All right. Let me get started.”
I didn’t know what that meant, so I turned to Suzanne. “What did she call this?”
“The spell is ‘redire orior’. It’s a regression of part of the mind, basically all the way back to when we were first born,” she said tightly, anger flickering across her face. “He has no more control over his body than he did when he was a newborn baby.”
I grimaced, looking back to him. “Oh my god,” I whispered. It meant exactly what it had looked like when I’d walked in: Andrew had been rendered completely helpless. Rage welled up inside me, despising the men who’d done this and wishing desperately that Suzanne had been more confident in finding them.
Suzanne took the opportunity to walk into the security office and I heard her sit in my chair. Janine put down her wand to have both hands free and told Andrew, “Just relax, concentrate on breathing slowly,” she said, carefully pulling both of his legs out and rolling him onto his back. She then put his arms at his sides and, picking up her wand, pointed it at his forehead.
I took in a sharp breath of surprise as I saw a faint glow coming from the wand, through the top of it and then to Andrew’s forehead. She held that position for a while, muttering under her breath.
A few minutes later, Suzanne came out and took her phone from her pocket, saying, “I don’t recognize either of the men in the footage. But they seemed distressed, particularly the one that didn’t hurt Andrew. I don’t think that’s what was meant to happen.”
“Meant to or not, it happened,” I muttered through clenched teeth. I’d already decided that my new to-do list every day included first checking the office cameras.
“Andrew,” Janine said, letting the glow fade. “Can you speak?”
“I…yeah,” he whispered.
Suzanne came over to my side. “Thank goodness. How are you feeling? How’s the vertigo?”
“Pretty much gone,” he said, closing his eyes for a long moment, though he didn’t try to stand up.
“Andrew, I pulled up the cameras in the office and listened to the audio,” she told him. “I know what happened.”
My eyebrows furrowed. “The cameras have audio?”
“It’s under admin privileges, but yes. Andrew, you should have known better,” she said softly, looking back to him. “The gun in one of the desk drawers? I presume that’s what you were lunging for, because those two men had just made it clear they were here for an animal.”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “I just…” He looked distraught.
“They told you to just let them get what they came for,” Suzanne said. “Why didn’t you?” My lips parted in shock.
“The last time this happened, I cooperated, but…I regretted it,” he growled. “We never saw Harriet again. I couldn’t just stand here and let them do whatever they wanted. Not again.” I assumed Harriet was one of their animals, but I didn’t ask.
“Don’t ever do something so foolish again,” she told him, on the verge of being upset, her emotions likely tempered by his condition. “I want to make it clear to you that this job, these animals, they’re immensely important, but they are not worth your life. He could have killed you. If someone gains access to the zoo again to steal an animal I want you to cooperate fully. Understood?”
“Yeah,” Andrew muttered.
The idea that Andrew had tried to bring a gun to a wand fight was staggering. Something heavy curled in my stomach at the thought. It was clear he cared about the wellbeing of the animals to a degree I hadn’t comprehended.
Janine took one of the small pillows from the couch and tucked it under Andrew’s head as Suzanne continued. “All right,” she said with a sigh. “I’ll go through the footage to determine what they stole and then call the authorities to report the theft. Janine, can you continue to treat him?”
I wasn’t sure what that entailed, but Janine apparently did, since she nodded and knelt back down as Suzanne went back into the security office. Janine did the same thing that she’d done before, that soft glow channeling light into Andrew’s head. Obviously, I wanted to ask what she was doing, but I knew better than to think I’d get an answer. Instead, I sat in one of the loveseats in front of Andrew’s desk, turning it to face them.
I heard Suzanne’s voice faintly speaking to someone on the phone and the minutes ticked by. Eventually, Suzanne came back out again and she stood next to me for a long moment, watching the healing process before turning to me.
“Andrew told me you were attempting to create some enrichment activities for the animals?” asked my boss.
“Oh, uh…yeah, I am,” I answered. I assumed she was trying to make small talk to distract me from the current situation, and I appreciated it. “The first one went well. Spike loves artichokes, pecans, and hazelnuts. I went with things that made it a challenge to eat, like it’s a challenge to pull out fingernails of its prey.”
Suzanne’s expression brightened just enough for me to notice. “Ripley, that’s wonderful. Very clever.” She let out a breath. “It’s becoming more and more obvious to me that Andrew chose well in hiring you.” I gave her a small smile. “Listen, I’m going to hire someone else to be here with you on duty,” Suzanne told me, “and by that, I mean someone from my neck of the woods. Andrew explained that to you, correct?”
“Not much. Just that you’re not from Earth.”
Suzanne smiled. “That makes me sound like an alien, but yes, I’m not from this dimension. I can hire someone who has similar abilities to mine, who can check in every few hours, make sure everything’s all right, but generally make themselves scarce unless there’s an emergency. He wouldn’t have been able to do much if he’d already been here, but he’d have known what was going on. Andrew would have received assistance immediately.”
I was curious of what those abilities were, aside from being able to see the animals, but I wasn’t bold enough to ask. Also, I was curious about who this new ‘employee’ would be, but presumably I’d find out sooner or later. “That would make me feel a little better,” I said, nodding. “Knowing there was someone else here.”
She nodded once. “It’s as good as done, then. As for Andrew, he’ll need to take a few days off to recover. Would you be willing to give the tours until he’s back in ship-shape?”
My eyes bugged out of my skull. “Wait, what? I can’t even see all the animals!”
Suzanne chuckled at my expression and shook her head. “I can enchant a pair of specs for you to wear,” she told me. “It’ll give you a bit of a headache, but you’ll be able to see all of the animals. Also, I’ll give you the background for each of them, because you’ll be speaking about them to the tourists.”
I blinked, thinking of how awesome it would be to finally know all about them all. And it was flattering, the fact that she had such confidence in me that, without hesitation, she asked if I could take over for Andrew. The best thing for me to do, of course, was to be confident and assure her that I could take any temporary promotion in stride. “I’m…I’m not great with people,” I managed.
Yup. Nailed it.
“You can be a little harsh with them if you need to,” she said with a small, knowing smile. “I assumed that signing up for a job where you interact with a screen of cameras the whole time means you aren’t great with people. And Andrew did brief me on you when he hired you. How good are you at couching your insults in polite talk? The British are quite skilled, but I know Americans aren’t too bad at it.”
I smirked, remembering how a coworker friend of mine once told a customer, “Oh, bless your heart,” in her thick southern accent and it sounded like the worst insult. “I can manage that, I think.”
A buzz from the gate that went to the panel on the wall drew our attention and Suzanne walked over to let the visitors in. It was three people, a man and two women, with a gurney.
Walking over to Andrew, I folded my arms with a small smile as Janine released his head from the glow the wand was emitting. “Hey. Sorry you had to lay on the floor for so long knowing I was cluelessly reading a book in the next room.”
“Eh, not the end of the world,” he whispered. “I’ll be back on my feet soon. So, no parties while I’m gone.”
I snorted and my smile widened, and he returned it.
Going back into the security room, I pulled the system back to the multi-camera exterior view, and I sat there and listened to Suzanne talk to one of the medics, explaining everything that had happened in detail. Once she’d done that and they brought Andrew outside on the gurney, presumably to a waiting ambulance, I gave my statement, and then…it was back to work.
Obviously going back to work like nothing had changed felt weird, but Suzanne stayed, letting me know that she would get some work done at Andrew’s desk until my shift was over. It was likely the opposite of necessary, the robbers were gone, but it did make me feel a tiny bit better knowing that she was in the next room with her wand.
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This is what I posted on the board game community in Korea, and I'm also translating and posting it on Reddit!
The translation and text inspection took a long time, but I'm posting it because I think croquinol gamers from other countries will enjoy reading it.
(I don't know how to put pictures in between when writing on Reddit. If you're curious about pictures while reading, please visit the link below. You may not understand Korean, but pictures are visual information so they can be understood universally)
https://boardlife.co.kbbs_detail.php?tb=community_post&bbs_num=26766
Not long ago in early May, I ran a croquinol booth for students and parents at a Children's Day event (it was held on the grounds of the University of Education)
The head of the school affairs department suggested, "I heard you like board games, do you want to run a booth?" so I thought very hard. Actually, it was bothersome.
In the end, I accepted because I wanted to make good memories with children as well as selling croquinol. At first, I thought it was easy to take a few croquinols and play a few rounds.
It wasn't long before I realized that the idea was very wrong. This is because there were so many things to consider operating the booth. The program should be organized in consideration of the number of users and the number of people visiting.
The arrangement of objects and the movement of people should also be considered. I shouldn't think, 'I'm done explaining the game to the students in moderation and watching them play.'
I have to think about the details. I thought about it until the day of operation and right before it started. Now that it's been decided so far, I'll have to recruit staff to run it together (this was the most difficult problem)
Finally, find out the products to give to the visiting children and purchase them, purchase notices to be installed in the booth, and other things necessary to proceed or make them
For two weeks, I spent a lot of time and energy thinking about and preparing for how to operate the booth. I thought a lot about what to give as the prize, but it was finally decided to go down
(1) Pokémon Key Chain Pokémon is definitely a successful IP!!
I decided it right away because it looked so pretty and the quality looked good. There were some that were really cheap, but the quality was really... It was a pity, so I put in more budget
(2) ritter sport chocolate It's economical because there are 200 in a pack I tried one to see if it's poisonous What????? This chocolate tastes pretty good...
(3) Crockinol Pencil (Steadler + Engrave) Originally, I didn't want to give pencils, but if I imprint them and give them to students, I thought they could remember croquinol for quite some time, so I made it meaningful.
If you look closely at the pencil, you can see the image of a disc bouncing with a finger. (○ ● ☜) I made it using the basic characters on the keyboard. Haha.)
It took a long time to think of the word 'dream tree' in the engraved phrase. (Offered words: rookie, genius, child, master, king, god, etc.) Since there are no other people to help me, I planned and produced a lot of things by myself.... lol
I recruited the operating personnel as follows
Head of the school affairs department -> Recruit me (one-person planner and business manager): Let's compare and analyze croquinol sales and rest at home and then experience it. Decided
Me-> First cast (S teacher): A versatile teacher who has been in the next class since we met in the 6th grade this year He became interested after being introduced to Crockinol by me. Enjoying Crockinol at home with his wife. Canadian style. (He said he was doing it without giving it away.) After receiving a proposal from me, "I'll do all the preparations, so please come and let the children know the games without any burden," he decided to participate after much consideration. I'm playing with my kids in the classroom, and my croquinol skills are increasing rapidly. I'm planning to promote the entire 6th grade croquinol competition later.
Second cast (Teacher C): My younger brother who met as a manager and a staff member at my last school and became very close. The same person who said in an old article that he helped move the classroom!
Together, we played about 400 rounds of croquinol 1:1 match. He made a lot of mistakes in his early days, but after hundreds of editions, he became enlightened at some point. He has become quite a master.
His powerful shots made a lot of crazy scenes. Among them, he sent five discs of his opponent to a ditch at the same time. When he was asked by me to help him, he accepted without hesitation. (He is expected to participate in the next event.)
Third cast (Teacher K): I am a teacher from another region, and I am close to him because I got to know him in a club. She was the last to be recruited, and she suggested liter port chocolate and keychain among the product ideas. Pencils were also highly recommended when I was thinking about it.
Lastly, he volunteered after seeing me thinking about recruiting one more person.
She's the only teacher who doesn't have a croquinol, and she doesn't usually have a chance to train, so she's still a beginner's skill.
Rather, a person who is expected to revitalize the booth operation because of that. (If teachers do too well, all students lose.) For the record, she has a board gamer gene that can also play Arcnova board games.
※ In addition, there is a sad history of rejection and subtly falling over during the recruitment process.
And I started setting it up on the day!! Visit early with teacher C and install one croquinol on three tables in the tent
At first, I was worried because the table was in the shape of a rectangle, but I could put things here and there. If you put the croquinol at an angle on the table, it was possible to conduct a 2:2 team, so there was no problem.
After I finished setting up, I sat down for a bit and tried a croquinol test. Played without any problems. The shot was even better because I told them to cut their nails, including myself.
However, there was a lot of dust on the tables and chairs provided by the company, so I hurriedly cleaned them. The remaining two operators also narrowly joined, and a total of four people were matched.
After that, I had time to start operating the booth as a whole They're here...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The name of the booth was 'Gather up here if you're confident in flicking', but I think I drew some aggro. Other places looked healthy like making animal bracelets, but our booth was like, "You! Come if you're confident!"
The booth was originally planned like this Planning the rules of the game: - If you feel uncomfortable, you can stand and shoot freely - In the case of 1:1, the original use of the 1/4 shooting line based on North America and Canada, rather than the use of the 1/2 shooting line that changed the rules in Korean company Korea Board Games. - A student who is too young is forced to shoot with a line forward. Two places are experience seats and listen to and experience the rules 1:1 or 2:2 (Parents and friends can participate together) - The experience gift is one litre pot chocolate - Rule Description -> Shot Practice -> consists of a two-game friendly
If you have learned the rules through the experience, go to the challenge seat of one place and challenge 1:1 or 2:2 (you can also participate together) - If you win, you'll get a Pokémon keychain, even if you lose, you'll get a 1/3 chance of a keychain and a 2/3 chance of a pencil through a lottery - Using one chance card, we will proceed with two sets, and if the student draws or wins even one set, it will be considered a victory. - Re-challenge possible when you line up again The booth gradually gathered and filled the corner, and the line got longer
I repeated the explanation and game so wildly!
The first episode : Even though it was in the shade of the tent, the temperature was high, so the chocolate melted. The student said it melted, so I touched it and it was liquid! Unfortunately, we can't give these defective products to students, so we decided to go to the challenge seat without giving them away in the experience seat.
The second episode : Our classmates are here! I heard a voice saying, "Teacher!" and I can see the 6th grade girls in my class
Of course, we played the game. I tried to lose, but I thought that if I lost too much, the student would notice, so I made mistakes from time to time, but these guys made more mistakes!
It ended with me winning or drawing (I should have made it more clear and lost... lol) I said, "This is just an experience seat, so it doesn't matter, show your real skills in the challenge seat," and sent the girl to another corner
The third episode : People were buzzing that a very famous politician visited the booth next door. (He was Korea's presidential candidate.) I looked up and saw the face that I saw on screen Although I was curious, I had my day job as a board gamer, so I welcomed students and focused on explaining the rules. Later, I found out that he talked to a student who experienced our booth and passed by
The 4th episode : The booth operators were not given a separate lunch break! It was announced that they would take turns eating lunch boxes. There were quite a few people... and I barely had time to eat. One person will be in charge of one booth, and one person will take turns eating I'm the type to eat slowly while tasting the taste, but I didn't have much time to relax on this day, so I sat on the stand and came back in a hurry that I couldn't even feel the taste
The fifth episode : There are so many people, and especially in the case of the challenge seat, the waiting line is longer, so to solve the bottleneck, we decided to take both the place and challenge as an experience seat It was the same with the booth I was in. I don't know what this day is... I made more mistakes than usual and often missed shots because I was nervous dealing with children. Hahaha
The 6th episode : The operations staff at the next table said, "A kid came up with a challenge and beat me." He got the prize, of course But after that, the student was still in the viewing room and gave advice to other participating children, saying, "I win all of them," showing a lot of confidence Then the child triumphantly challenged the management staff again! He must have wanted to win again. What was the result? According to him, he showed the dignity of an adult with his skills to children Of course, he gave away a croquinol pencil this time!!
The 7th episode : I explained the rules so much that the script was automatically made "This game is a 150-year-old game of Canada known to have started in 1876.... "In Canada, it's a daily sport that many families have and play throughout their lives, from childhood to grandmothers and grandparents. The rules are simple: if you put it in here, it's 20 points, this is 15 points....." I can't remember how many times I repeated the script above! The eighth episode : There are people who waited for an hour to listen to it while organizing it I've already experienced it and moved to the challenge seat, but the challenge seat lines are too long... Did they feel like they were waiting for a long line in the amusement park... ㅠㅠ Parents were tired of waiting, so they asked to go to another booth, but the child said, "Since I've experienced it, I really want to try it. I want to take a Pokémon keychain!" and waited a lot. It must have been very boring for parents, but there was no other way. I thought the quality of the operation would be very low to just experience/challenge one game at a time 2 play experience + 2 play challenge was the minimum number of plays to feel a little croquinol
The ninth episode : After eating, I heard parents and children talking "This is where we play Alkagi(flicking). Shall we play Alkagi?" "Let's do it!"
If you had written the booth title, "Who wants to play croquinol?" no one would know croquinol, so accessibility would have been low But when the title said "Alkkagi", I was proud of him coming in without any pressure
The 10th episode : The official closing time of the booth was 4 p.m At around 3:50 p.m., I took a breath and looked at other places, and some places had already withdrawn, and I was usually cleaning up, so the atmosphere was clear But our booth is still full It lasted beyond hours Is this the power of crocinol?
The 11th episode : Time has been deleted I was worried about what if time went by during that long time of operating the booth, but it was a mistake. We were so busy explaining and playing that we didn't have time to look at the clock, and when we came to our senses, it was a time when the end was imminent. I couldn't even go to the bathroom for five hours. Because it was hectic, the operation ended without a comparative analysis of 'Are many people visiting other booths? How popular is our booth?' (When I saw the photos and videos later, I could see that our booth was more crowded than other booths.)
The 12th episode : I tried a lot to react to it in my own way. I really complimented the kid every time he hit the disc. I exaggerated a little bit like I became a YouTuber and shouted a compliment chant out loud A young girl who looked like elementary 1 or 2 sat down (around 7-8 years old) I finished explaining the rules, and asked her to practice shooting a few times. After that, we started playing the game. The girl said she would do it first, and she took the first shot of her life's first game. It went straight into the center hole. There was applause from all around. I said, "Even I couldn't put it in at first. It's amazing." Congratulations on your best experience." She's made a lot of mistakes in play since then, but it doesn't matter at all! There's nothing more touching than the first shot of 20 The parents who were nearby filmed this scene and will cherish this meaningful moment for a long time
The 13th episode : There seemed to be something interesting to see other crocinol tables also clapping, wow, oh, oh From the perspective of planning, all these reactions are a gift
The 14th episode : There were a lot of spectators while explaining/playing There were a lot of comments about the rules of the game "You have to hit the disc when it's on the surface" "Oh!" A male parent was glad to hear that he knew croquinol "I knew this game since it came out last year. It was about 110 dollars, but I didn't buy it because it was expensive." (It's more expensive now. It's about $140)
The 15th episode : We allowed a re-challenge in the 'Beat the Teacher' section, caressing the hearts of children thirsty for crocinol Some students tried again 3 times (The challenge itself takes about 1 minute and 30 seconds for the first round, 3 minutes in total, so it doesn't take much.)
The 16th episode : After 4 p.m., I looked at the other booth thinking about when to organize it, and a boy who looked like a fourth grade in the challenge seat was doing very well Her parents were also amazed by it The accuracy of each step wasn't unusual He said he came back to try it out and do it again Looking at the game, he unfortunately lost to Teacher S by 5 points when he made a mistake of 2 turns in the second half Teacher S told the student. " Try it with that teacher. He's the best While sitting down, I asked, "Do you want me to do it with all my strength or not?" I laughed and asked At first, the student said, "Please be generous!" but later changed his words to "With full strength." "Haha, okay. I'll go with all my strength!" The student said he would attack first and tried an open shot and went straight into the center hole "Wow... does this make sense?" I also chased along the disc in the center hole. That's how I tried to hit my opponent's disc in Hogan's alley and accidentally wasted three turns. The result is that the student who leads by 15 points wins... The child liked it very much and came home with a light step with his parents "Thank you for your hard work. Bye!" When I looked at the playground with the back of my family leaving after saying hello, the sun was slowly heading down, scattering light everywhere and giving the lawn a cozy view What could be a more peaceful landscape. He must have felt really good on his way home. I thought he lost well
Finish writing : When I was in college, I ran a different kind of booth when I was the president of a club, but it was the first time I ran it this way in relation to board games.
At that time, there were a lot of club members and the space was very spacious, so the event was held comfortably, but the croquinol booth was operated in a very minimal condition: 1 tent, 3 tables, 3 croquinols, and 4 people in operation
Still, it ended successfully as it exceeded the time without an accident, so considering that it is the first operation under this condition, it should be considered a great success.
The operation of this croquinol booth was planned by myself and prepared for the program, so I have a lot of attachment.
I'm grateful to the three people who ran it together (they were dispatched from each elementary school publicly and privately). As expected, people are the most important.
I'm willing to do it again if I have to participate in the booth event another month this year or if I have to run it again next year. I think we can do it in a better way than now
For example, I dream of running a mini-contest by installing more tables. There's a mini trophy, and I think the kid who got it will really like it. (Of course we need a lot more people than we do now...!)

BRAVO

• 'This Year Almost Broke Me': Tom Schwartz Reveals 'Scandoval' Almost Shut Down His Restaurant After Losing 80% of His Business (Emily Rella for Entrepreneur)
• Vanderpump Rules Cast Relives Their Most Iconic (and 'Cringey') Moments (People exclusive)
• 3 minute video: Lisa Vanderpump On Future Of ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Amid Hiatus (Access Hollywood YouTube)
• Every Delusion in This Season of Vanderpump Rules (Michelle Cohn for Vulture)
• ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Reunion Finally Charts a Path Forward as Lala Doubles Down (Alec Karam for The Daily Beast)
• It’s Time for ‘Vanderpump Rules’ to Say Goodbye for Good (Lexi Lane for The Daily Beast)
• Big Blonde Hair Founder Lauren Sebastian Dishes on the Fashion Hits and Misses of the 'Vanderpump Rules' Season 11 Reunion: Photos (OK! Magazine exclusive)
• Nia and Danny Booko Are Now House-Hunting After They "Outgrew" Their Valley Home (Bravo)
• Carl Radke On Whether He’ll Return For ‘Summer House’ Season 9 Post-Lindsay Hubbard Breakup: “There’s A Lot To Consider” (Samantha Nungesser for Decider)
• Paige DeSorbo Says She Picks Out Her Outfits to Match 'Whatever Cocktail I'm Drinking That Night' (People exclusive)
• Olivia Flowers Celebrates First Anniversary With Boyfriend Alex: "Cheers to Stage 5 Clinging" (Bravo)
• 41 Stars Share Their Go-To Sunscreen: Sofía Vergara, Kyle Richards, Garcelle Beauvais, and More (E! exclusive)
• The Goat’s Reza Farahan Doesn’t Regret Insulting Jill Zarin: ‘She Is a Little Bit of a Bitch’ (US Weekly)
• Anya Taylor-Joy Talks First Leading Role in 'Furiosa,' Eloping With Malcolm McRae & New 'Housewives' Obsession (Just Jared)

NEW JERSEY

• Teresa Giudice barks back at Margaret Josephs’ claim that Luis Ruelas ‘pissed her money away’ (Page Six)
• Teresa Giudice calls Tori Spelling her 'instant BFF' after appearing on her MisSpelling podcast to promote the new season of RHONJ (Daily Mail)

ORANGE COUNTY

• RHOC’s Tamra Judge Slams Ryan Boyajian’s Alleged Connection to Shohei Ohtani Gambling Scandal (US Weekly)
• Shannon Storms Beador's Daughter Sophie Is Officially a College Graduate (Bravo)
• Former Real Housewives of Orange County star Kelly Dodd congratulates husband Rick Leventhal on his new job at Newsmax - three years after he left Fox News (Daily Mail)

NEW YORK

• Brynn Whitfield Reflects on Her Friendship with Pandora Vanderpump “in a Former Life” (Bravo's Hot Mic podcast)
• Countess Luann: ‘I Deliver a Great Show, It’s a Party With One Big Happy Housewives Family’ (Stellar Magazine)

BEVERLY HILLS

• Kyle Richards Shares Surprising Reaction to Mauricio Umansky Moving Out of Their House (E!)
• Kyle Richards Reveals Where She Stands With Morgan Wade Amid Rumors They Stopped Talking (Heavy)
• Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Sutton Stracke Isn’t ‘Shocked’ by Dorit and PK Kemsley’s Separation (US Weekly)
• Jennifer Lawrence ‘Gave the Performance of a Lifetime’ Prank Calling Lisa Rinna During ‘Peak COVID’ (US Weekly)

ATLANTA

• Porsha Williams Spills on ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta’ Return, Divorce Drama, & More (That Grape Juice)
• Porsha Williams' Affordable Home Finds Deliver Real Housewives Glam Starting at Just $7.99 (E!)
• Real Housewives Of Atlanta alum Marlo Hampton, 48, almost busts out of an orange bikini as she poses in a bathtub... after exiting Bravo franchise (Daily Mail)
• Shereé Whitfield Departs Real Housewives of Atlanta Ahead of Season 16 (People)
• Kim Zolciak and Kroy Biermann Rush to Court Pleading for Foreclosure Auction Over Their $6 Million Georgia Mansion Be Postponed (Radar Online exclusive)
• See a Throwback Photo of Kim Zolciak with Brielle & Ariana Biermann: "Incredible" (Bravo)

AFRICAN FRANCHISES

• ‘Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip SA’: Q&A with LaConco (The South African)

Links to this week's episode discussion posts:

• VPR S11E16🍸
• The Valley S1E9 🏘️
• RHONJ S14E2 🍝
• Summer House S8E12 ☀️

Will start from the first me [25F] joined the current manufacturing industrial company from a IT company. The current job hop happened when I was 1.5 years into my IT career. So it was overwhelming for me how a day ago I was doing security patching and now am surrounded by all these machineries and welding stuff, they make air distillation columns.
Now 9 months in to this new career as a Quality Assurance Trainee, i still feel like I'm going no where. A new company intern has joined and i see massive potential in him and he could be a better asset than me. Now again i heard another intern is joining from America and the reality of "oh well am replaceable" is hitting me.
My boss initially when I joined, in front of another department asked me about isometrics and I had no idea so I told "no I don't know" and he laughed and all then proceeded to explain it to me. And after that meeting he said, you graduated from mechanical 2 years back and you don't remember it, seems like IT ruin people.
He is helpful and guides me through times. But some back hand comments have affected me. Like once i didn't know how to use a punching machine because last time i used was 8 years ago and this one was quite different rather the normal one you see. So he went "You need to be taught everything".
Now in this new job I was hellah depressed at the first 2 months fully suicidal. 3 weeks into joining he had a meeting with me and he told me you don't know any of the company procedures. I felt like a looser and still do. from there the nightmares started. I couldn't sleep because all I could think about was NCR (non conformity report)
But the nightmare's stopped eventually, until recently it got worse so My boss has 2 sub ordinates in which one i have no idea what work they are doing? Their responsibility was this Gemba file. Now it has come to me and I'm the one dealing with it along with the new intern. NCR log full control on me. with 85% completion done by me. and i have close NCR verify root cause and corrective action taken. corrective action verification and CoPQ. Have to follow up for internal audits, Quality capitalization. I feel like am doing a lot and still not satisfied with my work.
Recently my boss went for vacation and during that time there were 2 NCR which needed RCA and since he told me to do check that and i said okay. He was not here and we needed Internal meeting with concerned stakeholders so i asked my boss's boss who is HOD of our department, what to do and he said, no do just fact verification. And once my boss came back. He asked for this and i replied I didn't do RCA cause this is what happened. And he went so it feels like you're boss is not me but our HOD. And after that nightmare's started which lead to, where i couldn't talk to my HOD also. Like my boss getting angry at me telling he is the boss of me so do what I say. Declining a promotion because I was doing a bad job and my boss won't like me if I get promotion cause I'm underserving.
One day he did not had tissues and he asked me to get the tissues for him and I had to arrange tissues for him and this made me feel like I'm more of his personal assistant. Yesterday I had another meeting and i was not able to attend a meeting which happens daily, and in that daily meeting we update the status of current number of NCR and CoPQ etc. through a dashboard graph which to be updated regularly at 1:00pm. For updating easily info is given through a group chat in WhatsApp and it is to be updated in a google sheet file, before going I told him I'll update it but i got busy and forgot to update it. My boss called me during the meeting and i didn't answer the call cause meeting got prolonged and once i came back, he went " Where is the update, you told me you will update it." And i didn't replied anything. Just said sorry and I updated that file. My only question is it's a copy paste data, why did he wait for me? and it should be updated at 1:00pm I left for meeting at 12:15pm so if i update then the data would be in accurate. He has explicitly told me it should contain data till 1:00 pm
TLDR My boss doesn't value me and it's affecting my personal life. I wonder if it is workplace abuse

Will start from the first me [25F] joined the current manufacturing industrial company from a IT company. The current job hop happened when I was 1.5 years into my IT career. So it was overwhelming for me how a day ago I was doing security patching and now am surrounded by all these machineries and welding stuff, they make air distillation columns.
Now 9 months in to this new career as a Quality Assurance Trainee, i still feel like I'm going no where. A new company intern has joined and i see massive potential in him and he could be a better asset than me. Now again i heard another intern is joining from America and the reality of "oh well am replaceable" is hitting me.
My boss initially when I joined, in front of another department asked me about isometrics and I had no idea so I told "no I don't know" and he laughed and all then proceeded to explain it to me. And after that meeting he said, you graduated from mechanical 2 years back and you don't remember it, seems like IT ruin people.
He is helpful and guides me through times. But some back hand comments have affected me. Like once i didn't know how to use a punching machine because last time i used was 8 years ago and this one was quite different rather the normal one you see. So he went "You need to be taught everything".
Now in this new job I was hellah depressed at the first 2 months fully suicidal. 3 weeks into joining he had a meeting with me and he told me you don't know any of the company procedures. I felt like a looser and still do. from there the nightmares started. I couldn't sleep because all I could think about was NCR (non conformity report)
But the nightmare's stopped eventually, until recently it got worse so My boss has 2 sub ordinates in which one i have no idea what work they are doing? Their responsibility was this Gemba file. Now it has come to me and I'm the one dealing with it along with the new intern. NCR log full control on me. with 85% completion done by me. and i have close NCR verify root cause and corrective action taken. corrective action verification and CoPQ. Have to follow up for internal audits, Quality capitalization. I feel like am doing a lot and still not satisfied with my work.
Recently my boss went for vacation and during that time there were 2 NCR which needed RCA and since he told me to do check that and i said okay. He was not here and we needed Internal meeting with concerned stakeholders so i asked my boss's boss who is HOD of our department, what to do and he said, no do just fact verification. And once my boss came back. He asked for this and i replied I didn't do RCA cause this is what happened. And he went so it feels like you're boss is not me but our HOD. And after that nightmare's started which lead to, where i couldn't talk to my HOD also. Like my boss getting angry at me telling he is the boss of me so do what I say. Declining a promotion because I was doing a bad job and my boss won't like me if I get promotion cause I'm underserving.
One day he did not had tissues and he asked me to get the tissues for him and I had to arrange tissues for him and this made me feel like I'm more of his personal assistant. Yesterday I had another meeting and i was not able to attend a meeting which happens daily, and in that daily meeting we update the status of current number of NCR and CoPQ etc. through a dashboard graph which to be updated regularly at 1:00pm. For updating easily info is given through a group chat in WhatsApp and it is to be updated in a google sheet file, before going I told him I'll update it but i got busy and forgot to update it. My boss called me during the meeting and i didn't answer the call cause meeting got prolonged and once i came back, he went " Where is the update, you told me you will update it." And i didn't replied anything. Just said sorry and I updated that file. My only question is it's a copy paste data, why did he wait for me? and it should be updated at 1:00pm I left for meeting at 12:15pm so if i update then the data would be in accurate. He has explicitly told me it should contain data till 1:00 pm
TLDR My boss doesn't value me and it's affecting my personal life. I wonder if it is workplace abuse

Will start from the first me [25F] joined the current manufacturing industrial company from a IT company. The current job hop happened when I was 1.5 years into my IT career. So it was overwhelming for me how a day ago I was doing security patching and now am surrounded by all these machineries and welding stuff, they make air distillation columns.
Now 9 months in to this new career as a Quality Assurance Trainee, i still feel like I'm going no where. A new company intern has joined and i see massive potential in him and he could be a better asset than me. Now again i heard another intern is joining from America and the reality of "oh well am replaceable" is hitting me.
My boss initially when I joined, in front of another department asked me about isometrics and I had no idea so I told "no I don't know" and he laughed and all then proceeded to explain it to me. And after that meeting he said, you graduated from mechanical 2 years back and you don't remember it, seems like IT ruin people.
He is helpful and guides me through times. But some back hand comments have affected me. Like once i didn't know how to use a punching machine because last time i used was 8 years ago and this one was quite different rather the normal one you see. So he went "You need to be taught everything".
Now in this new job I was hellah depressed at the first 2 months fully suicidal. 3 weeks into joining he had a meeting with me and he told me you don't know any of the company procedures. I felt like a looser and still do. from there the nightmares started. I couldn't sleep because all I could think about was NCR (non conformity report)
But the nightmare's stopped eventually, until recently it got worse so My boss has 2 sub ordinates in which one i have no idea what work they are doing? Their responsibility was this Gemba file. Now it has come to me and I'm the one dealing with it along with the new intern. NCR log full control on me. with 85% completion done by me. and i have close NCR verify root cause and corrective action taken. corrective action verification and CoPQ. Have to follow up for internal audits, Quality capitalization. I feel like am doing a lot and still not satisfied with my work.
Recently my boss went for vacation and during that time there were 2 NCR which needed RCA and since he told me to do check that and i said okay. He was not here and we needed Internal meeting with concerned stakeholders so i asked my boss's boss who is HOD of our department, what to do and he said, no do just fact verification. And once my boss came back. He asked for this and i replied I didn't do RCA cause this is what happened. And he went so it feels like you're boss is not me but our HOD. And after that nightmare's started which lead to, where i couldn't talk to my HOD also. Like my boss getting angry at me telling he is the boss of me so do what I say. Declining a promotion because I was doing a bad job and my boss won't like me if I get promotion cause I'm underserving.
One day he did not had tissues and he asked me to get the tissues for him and I had to arrange tissues for him and this made me feel like I'm more of his personal assistant. Yesterday I had another meeting and i was not able to attend a meeting which happens daily, and in that daily meeting we update the status of current number of NCR and CoPQ etc. through a dashboard graph which to be updated regularly at 1:00pm. For updating easily info is given through a group chat in WhatsApp and it is to be updated in a google sheet file, before going I told him I'll update it but i got busy and forgot to update it. My boss called me during the meeting and i didn't answer the call cause meeting got prolonged and once i came back, he went " Where is the update, you told me you will update it." And i didn't replied anything. Just said sorry and I updated that file. My only question is it's a copy paste data, why did he wait for me? and it should be updated at 1:00pm I left for meeting at 12:15pm so if i update then the data would be in accurate. He has explicitly told me it should contain data till 1:00 pm
TLDR My boss doesn't value me and it's affecting my personal life. I wonder if it is workplace abuse

Will start from the first me [25F] joined the current manufacturing industrial company from a IT company. The current job hop happened when I was 1.5 years into my IT career. So it was overwhelming for me how a day ago I was doing security patching and now am surrounded by all these machineries and welding stuff, they make air distillation columns.
Now 9 months in to this new career as a Quality Assurance Trainee, i still feel like I'm going no where. A new company intern has joined and i see massive potential in him and he could be a better asset than me. Now again i heard another intern is joining from America and the reality of "oh well am replaceable" is hitting me.
My boss initially when I joined, in front of another department asked me about isometrics and I had no idea so I told "no I don't know" and he laughed and all then proceeded to explain it to me. And after that meeting he said, you graduated from mechanical 2 years back and you don't remember it, seems like IT ruin people.
He is helpful and guides me through times. But some back hand comments have affected me. Like once i didn't know how to use a punching machine because last time i used was 8 years ago and this one was quite different rather the normal one you see. So he went "You need to be taught everything".
Now in this new job I was hellah depressed at the first 2 months fully suicidal. 3 weeks into joining he had a meeting with me and he told me you don't know any of the company procedures. I felt like a looser and still do. from there the nightmares started. I couldn't sleep because all I could think about was NCR (non conformity report)
But the nightmare's stopped eventually, until recently it got worse so My boss has 2 sub ordinates in which one i have no idea what work they are doing? Their responsibility was this Gemba file. Now it has come to me and I'm the one dealing with it along with the new intern. NCR log full control on me. with 85% completion done by me. and i have close NCR verify root cause and corrective action taken. corrective action verification and CoPQ. Have to follow up for internal audits, Quality capitalization. I feel like am doing a lot and still not satisfied with my work.
Recently my boss went for vacation and during that time there were 2 NCR which needed RCA and since he told me to do check that and i said okay. He was not here and we needed Internal meeting with concerned stakeholders so i asked my boss's boss who is HOD of our department, what to do and he said, no do just fact verification. And once my boss came back. He asked for this and i replied I didn't do RCA cause this is what happened. And he went so it feels like you're boss is not me but our HOD. And after that nightmare's started which lead to, where i couldn't talk to my HOD also. Like my boss getting angry at me telling he is the boss of me so do what I say. Declining a promotion because I was doing a bad job and my boss won't like me if I get promotion cause I'm underserving.
One day he did not had tissues and he asked me to get the tissues for him and I had to arrange tissues for him and this made me feel like I'm more of his personal assistant. Yesterday I had another meeting and i was not able to attend a meeting which happens daily, and in that daily meeting we update the status of current number of NCR and CoPQ etc. through a dashboard graph which to be updated regularly at 1:00pm. For updating easily info is given through a group chat in WhatsApp and it is to be updated in a google sheet file, before going I told him I'll update it but i got busy and forgot to update it. My boss called me during the meeting and i didn't answer the call cause meeting got prolonged and once i came back, he went " Where is the update, you told me you will update it." And i didn't replied anything. Just said sorry and I updated that file. My only question is it's a copy paste data, why did he wait for me? and it should be updated at 1:00pm I left for meeting at 12:15pm so if i update then the data would be in accurate. He has explicitly told me it should contain data till 1:00 pm
TLDR My boss doesn't value me and it's affecting my personal life. I wonder if it is workplace abuse

So… a little back story. In March of 2023 my boss gave me a $17,000 bonus (which I paid taxes on). A few months ago I had asked for a raise since I have taken on some additional task and my salary is pay for 40 hours a week and I’ve been putting in 50+ hours, also taking the company phones after hours, over nights and weekends. My boss told me he wouldn’t give me a raise and I should just get a second job. Well to make ends meet I did exactly that. Since doing so, I received a job offer from another company with a higher paying position. I did not apply for this other job, the company called me and offered it to me (we do business with a company they work with and they heard about my skill set and job performance and were impressed with my attention to detail). I thought about it and decided to accept the offer since it benefits me in more way than just higher pay.
I know Oklahoma is an “at will” state as far employment/termination (if that’s the correct wording). I submitted my notice of resignation giving said company a two weeks notice. My immediate supervisor congratulated me but refused my resignation saying I needed to talk to our boss or give it to HR. I then turned it into HR and was told by them that I needed to speak with our boss about it because he was going to be upset and “we all know how he is about you” is the exact words HR told me. He is very possessive and controlling and tells everybody that I am “his”(there is a history of him crossing boundaries). When I told him I had submitted my resignation he was pissed and asked me who I was to make a decision like that without talking to him about it first, the proceeded to ask me if I had a boyfriend and seemed to get more irritated when I told him I didn’t see what my personal life had to do with my employement, but my question is, can he come back at me for the bonus? There was no terms of agreement or contract signed when I received the bonus. Also, I had 40+ hours of PTO and 60+ hours of sick time accrued but he told me he was not going to pay me for any of that time. About 10 minutes after having this conversation with him I was told that I had five minutes to get my personal belongings and get off of the company property (which I happily left).
Just not sure what to do or what to expect because I have NEVER had an employer respond like this.

So after a terrible performance review from my boss (CEO) a few months ago I've been looking for a new job. Not to get into too much detail about it but my middle-aged boss (who should not be having these issues at his age) has terrible memory, I, the HR Manager of the company, basically double as his personal assistant sometimes and constantly have to remind him of things so he remembers to do them and we don't get in trouble. His forgetfullness has also caused huge issues especially with dealing with outside vendors for things like healthcare, payroll providors, 401k provider, etc. We'll schedule meetings where him and I are set to meet with these companies and then last second I'll remind him about it and he'll be like, "oh well it wasn't on my calendar" (it was) "just go on without me and let me know what happens". During my last performance review he said that he constantly had to follow up with me on things. He was referring to things that I already completed and told him of such several times. He also referenced my attendance/reliability being an issue, I had called out 1x in the 5 years working there and had the nerve to ask to work from home when I had Covid this year. Somehow I've gone from being the golden child who has outperformed all her peers (receiving 2 promotions because of this), to a terrible employee and haven't received a raise in a couple of years.
Now with the backstory out of the way, I'm looking for a new job in the HR-field and I'm trying to make myself as marketable as possible.
About me-
I'm in NYC
5 years in current company including:
2 years as an HR assistant
1 year as Operations Coordinator (with many HR tasks)
2 years as HR Manager
SHRM-CP Certified (at least according to the preliminary results since I took it yesterday) *side note* if you plan on taking it please book it out a few months. Don't be dumb like me, I signed up about 3 weeks ago and waited until the day before to study like 20 hours because I'm a huge procrastinator. I still have a huge amount of stress/anxiety from cramming.
NY Notary License
BS in Business Management
Currently making about 73k/year
---
I've applied to 100's of jobs, only the ones that I meet the qualifications for with only one Interview to show for it. The lady who interviewed me sent several follow-up emails letting me know she was still interested but was just swamped but then just stopped sending me messages (this was a couple months ago). Full disclosure I've only been applying to jobs currently paying more due to financial restrictions, though I would have thought this wouldn't be an issue considering the average pay rate for HR Managers in NYC seems to be about 10k more than what I'm currently making.
I want to know what I can do to stand out and make myself more marketable? My mom (also in HR) recommended a Lean Six Sigma. Should I look into getting certified with that? Are there any other certifications that I can add to make myself more attractive to recruiters?
Any advice would be appreciated. I can also provide more information if needed.
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