Maybe she should’ve spent the last decade telling her kids nursery rhymes instead of reciting the three little pigs to the old women in her chat.
Get a job you scammin slob.

I am truly dumbfounded and have no idea what to do at this point as I have exhausted everything. I sleep trained by LO at 4 months and I barely had to do anything really. We were going to do ferber but she fell alseep on the first day in 9 minutes and from then till now so I have had no issues with her night sleep. I really thought I got lucky. We went through teething, sickness, learning new skills but nothing impacted her sleep which truly surprised me and I just thought we got lucky. She has been sleeping through the night 11-12 hours with absolutely no wakes in the middle since she was 9 months old. Before that from 4-9 months she was only waking up once to nurse. Anyway, from the day she turned 15 months its like she is a completely new baby who does not know how to sleep. She started daycare when she was 11 months and they do 1 nap a day and her transition was very smooth. She didn't have trouble napping at daycare or at night. We did 2 international travels to different timezones and even then she was fine. I have no idea what is causing her to not sleep anymore.
She takes 1 nap at 12pm for 1.5-2 hrs and then goes down for the night between 7:30pm -8pm. We have tried pushing the bedtime to later but also an earlier bedtime at 6:30pm, 7pm but nothing seems to be working. Now she wakes up within 1 or 2 hours after being put down crying hysterically. 2 nights ago we decided to "sleep train" her again but it did not work. She cried for an hr straight with no signs on going down. Now my husband and I have to take turns patting her for almost an hr for her to sleep and even then she will wake up crying again if we leave the room. She wakes up between 1-3am singing her nursery rhymes as if she is done with sleep.
Her usual wake up before this fiasco was between 6-6:30am but now she wakes up between 4-5am and honestly she is pretty much up most of the night barely sleeping. I don't bring her to our bed but we go lie down for the rest of the night on her floor bed and she is constantly moving around throughout the night. This causes her to be very tired and sleepy in the morning but she refuses to take a nap before 12. The daycare tries and we tried on the weekend and it didn't work she would just wake up in 15-20 minutes. Throughout the day she has high energy and she's eating well. But I feel like she is is a constant cycle of overtiredness and I have no idea how to get my baby back to sleeping like she used to!
has anyone experienced anything like this? If you have please tell me what worked for you as I am so desperate at this point to get her to sleep.

Reading is often touted as one of the most fundamental skills a child can develop. But why is it so important, especially in the early years? Let's take a look at the importance of reading for children in the nursery and explore ten reasons why it should be a cornerstone of early childhood education.
1. Language development: Through reading, children learn new words, phrases and sentence structures, which helps them build a rich vocabulary and understand the nuances of language. This early exposure lays a strong foundation for effective communication skills later in life.
Haebix Preschool, a pioneer in language development, stands among best pre schools in india. With innovative methods, it nurtures linguistic skills in young learners, fostering communication and cognitive growth. Renowned for its holistic approach to education, Haebix is a beacon of excellence in early childhood development across the nation.
2. Cognitive development: Engaging with books stimulates various cognitive functions, including memory, attention and problem solving. As children interpret stories, make connections and predict outcomes, their cognitive skills are sharpened and critical thinking and analytical skills are enhanced.
3. Imagination and creativity: Books are portals to countless worlds, adventures and ideas. When children immerse themselves in stories, they exercise their imagination by imagining characters, settings and scenarios, which in turn boosts their creativity and innovation.
4. Emotional intelligence: Stories often deal with complex emotions and interpersonal relationships, which helps children to understand and manage their feelings. Through the characters' experiences, children learn empathy, resilience and how to deal with life's ups and downs.
5. Bonding and socialization: Reading together fosters a strong bond between children and caregivers. It is a special time of bonding, conversation and shared experiences and reinforces the importance of relationships and social interactions.
6. Cultural awareness: Books offer insights into different cultures, traditions and perspectives. Exposure to literature from around the world expands children's understanding of the human experience and promotes tolerance, acceptance and global awareness.
Haebix preschool in greater noida is renowned for its focus on cultural awareness. Through diverse activities and celebrations, it fosters a rich understanding of traditions and values from around the world. At Haebix, children not only learn academics but also develop respect and appreciation for different cultures, promoting global citizenship from an early age.
7. Preparing for school: Reading readiness is a critical aspect of preparing children for formal education. By introducing letters, sounds, and basic reading and writing concepts early, children in kindergarten develop the foundational skills they need to succeed in school.
8. Lifelong learning: Instilling a love of reading from an early age sets the stage for lifelong learning and personal growth. Children who love to read are more likely to acquire knowledge, explore new interests and continue their education beyond the classroom.
9. Better focus: In a world full of distractions, the ability to focus is invaluable. Reading requires sustained attention and helps children improve their ability to concentrate, which can benefit them in various areas of life, from academics to everyday tasks.
10. Academic success: Numerous studies have established a link between early reading skills and academic achievement later in life. Children who start reading early tend to do better in school, excel in language arts and develop a solid foundation for learning in all subjects.
At Haebix Preschool, we prioritize reading as a fundamental aspect of early childhood education. Our curriculum includes a rich selection of age-appropriate books and literacy activities designed to instill a lifelong love for reading in every child. Through storytelling, group reading sessions, and interactive learning experiences, we aim to nurture confident, curious, and engaged young readers who are ready to embark on a journey of discovery and exploration.
So reading is not just a pastime, but a fundamental skill that shapes children's development in many ways. From language and cognitive skills to social-emotional growth and academic success, the benefits of reading in kindergarten are profound and far-reaching. By fostering a culture of reading from the earliest years, we empower children to explore, learn and thrive in a rapidly changing world. So let's open the doors to the enchanting world of books and send our little ones on a lifelong journey of discovery and imagination.

A Delicate Craft by D. P. Watt
Published in and exercpeted from Aickman's Heirs (2015) edited by Simon Strantzas

The special day came and she pricked out the pattern on his pillow and guided him through the first turns of the work. Tea flowed but Bogdan's progress was frustratingly slow.
"I would give anything to have the skills you have," he said, draining a cup, and resuming his slow progress on the pattern.
"Really?" Agnes said. "Would you give anything?"
"Oh, yes," he replied, concentrating on selecting the right bobbin to thread over the one in his left hand. "To know something—to truly master it—that is what life is all about isn't it. I want to be well trained at what I do, and you have been a wonderful teacher, but then it will take me many years of practice and hard work to be as accomplished as you are at it."
"Anything at all?" Agnes said, distantly, as though she had not been listening.
"Yes," he said again, firmly.
"Then look at me," Agnes said, taking his hands from their work and holding them in her tiny, deformed fingers.
He did not really understand, but turned to her and looked into her eyes, the colour of which was difficult to discern in the half-light of her front room, and beneath the folds of the wrinkles that gathered around her eyes, threatening to enfold them in darkness.
"May we find this wish heard higher. These hands are for doing, for marking and learning," she began, as though reciting an old childhood nursery rhyme. She had turned his palms upright and traced a line down each with her thumbs.
"These hands are for nursing, for nurturing and yearning," she sang, tracing his forefingers down each of her palms.
"And between them they cradle a world full of knowing," she gripped his fingers tightly. He could feel every line worn into them, every blemish and callus—pressing harder and harder on his own fingers and then palms. "And none has yet turned the side of that flowing, for age is a rift and youth such a gift. But the bridge o'er the chasm is built with desire."
The room had become hot and airless, and a dull yellow light seemed to have brightened the place, although its source was unclear.
Agnes sank back into her chair, her eyes flaring and her arms shaking. Bodgan made to get up and help her but his legs felt weak, his eyes heavy with sleep and his vision blurred. His hands felt hot and painful. The tiredness was overwhelming and he too fell back into his chair and sank into sleep. The last thing he saw was Agnes rise up, suddenly and swiftly, with a strength he had not seen in her before. She stretched her arms high above her head, a body in the throes of being born again.
* * *
Rising from his slumber Bodgan felt his limbs creak slowly into usefulness. His hip arched and his feet wore sore and numb. He looked down at his fingers; gnarled and crooked, the nails cracked and dirty. Between a swollen thumb and bent forefinger he held a thin white thread. He traced it back—its fibres further twining together as it trailed through his fingertips—to a delicate bone bobbin that he deftly tucked beneath its partner on a faded blue mat edged in frayed gold braiding that was propped on his lap. His hazy vision could see well enough this close at hand but as he peered around the room he could just make out the forms of ornaments and pictures, each of which sparkled half memories of a long life, filled with loves and losses. "Nadszedł czas na herbatę," he thought.
In the narrow street outisde a young girl played hopscotch on a hastily chalked grid—as though the late Twentieth century had never happened; her stiff ivory dress was dated; her hair plaited and unfashionably long; her delicate laughter, eternal.

Translated from Polish "Nadszedł czas na herbatę" — "It's time for tea."

I'm looking for a book I had full of nursery rhymes growing up. I had it in 2005. It had rhymes such as "hickory dickory dock", "five fat sausages", "jelly on the plate", "slowly slowly very slowly creeps the garden snail", and "round and round the garden...one step, two steps, tickle you under there". I believe the cover was light blue and white. Possibly had a number on it such as "100 nursery rhymes". Anyone know what it is?

It's one of my first poem. I would really love your feedback and know what worked and what I need to improve. I'm looking forward for your feedback
At night I wake up crying, My voice is singing:
Hey diddle diddle, The Cat and the fiddle, The Cow jumped over the moon, The little Dog laughed to see such sport, And the Dish ran away with the Spoon
At night I wake up screaming, It’s the child still in me singing:
Hey Red Monster, The Cat and the fiddle, The Cow jumped over the moon, The little Dog laughed to see such sport, And the Dish ran away with the Spoon
At night, I wake up howling, I catch a glimpse of shadow In the mirror, bright red eyes.
Hey Red Monster, The Red Monster and the Little Boy, The Cow jumped over the moon, The little Dog laughed to see such sport, And the Dish ran away with the Spoon
At night I wake up crying, The Red Monster’s smell is horrible; As I flee into my imaginary haven: the Moon with the Spoon
Hey Red Monster, The Red Monster and the boy, The Red Monster jumped over the Little Boy, The Red Monster laughed to see such sport, And the Dish ran away with the Spoon
At night I wake up crying, Feeling the Red Monster’s love grip Twisting the song. I seek forgetness In the haven of the nursery rhyme.
I now know the Nightmare, memories flooding; Taste, smell, all my senses overwhelmed… The Red Monster everywhere, his two bright eyes!
Hey Red Monster, The Red Monster and the boy, The Red Monster jumped over the Little Boy, The Red Monster laughed to see such sport, And the Red Monster ran away with the Little Boy
my blog: https://deviantabstraction.com/2024/05/09/my-safe-place/
Comment 1: https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/1cp3bts/comment/l3xcwn3/ Comment 2: https://www.reddit.com/OCPoetry/comments/1cp2n4w/comment/l3xch8b/

I slay ya favorite Rappah
who ya say u aimin at , Ya
Strapped Without a Gat
This aint n' act I'm actually n' actual Diaster
Stack up ration sacks emergency snacks n battery packs - In case tha DISS master come right at ya
n' my wicked words r' urgent surgery ya whack words n verbs be nursery
ya rhymes B forgery n' before you copy lines like mine you better check your Morals G
you rap deformities ain't forcing me I'm tha source of brute force n sorcery
Lord forgive as i forcefully bully these ordinary dorks to the reddit morgue, or mortuary.

A character in the book I'm reading is named Posey. I get that it's a flower, and in theory it could be cute, like Lily and Daisy, but Posey?? It just reminds me of the creepy nursery rhyme. Idk. Need y'all's opinion.

Hi all, long time listener, first time caller. I just finished season 2 last night and have thoughts on the whole thing. I am sure I'm not the first to come up with this, but it makes sense to me. Spoilers ahead.
​
I think what Boyd's "wife" said in the dungeon was mostly true. I think either the forest or beings in the forest feed on / need crushed hopes. They have the monsters because they are just dangerous enough to keep people busy and unable to really work on the problems. Hence why they only walk.
Next, I think that the "forest" does this thing over and over again. In the first episode we see that there wasn't an incident for about 90 days. A full moon cycle takes 30 days. So 3 cycles. Just like the 3 people and the nursery rhyme. Basically lets them go about their business for a while, then starts to ratchet up the pressure.
I even think buses show up for each one. We've seen at least one broke down school bus, and the chapel has two seats from a bus as pews. I am on the fence on whether or not everyone still alive from the bus is in on it, but at least the cancer patient and the driver are.
Now I do think things changed when Boyd released the locust monster. I think the whole forest thing is there to keep that thing locked up. So the forest gets new people, and whatever one gets to the ruins ends up getting the monster put into them. Then they're captured and chained up for however long they need to be. Think of it like a weird version of Cabin in the Woods.
I also think a few other townsfolk are in on it, maybe followers of a cult or religion or belief, but they use the power from people's ruined hopes to fuel whatever keeps the thing locked up.

This sounds silly but I'm curious. Let me clarify by giving an example.
My LO is 7 months (I'm a first time mum) and we occasionally attend a baby nursery rhyme session at the library. Parents and their babies also attend and we sit in a big circle while a facilitator sings different nursery rhymes and we all sing along. The babies that are there are all different ages, ranging from a couple weeks old to one year old. And so of course they're all at different developmental milestones, like crawling in the middle of the circle.
My LO is commando crawling and likes to join in if something catches her attention. She's a very curious girl and can be easily fascinated by another baby or what they're wearing, like most babies. There have been instances where she would approach another baby and grab onto their sock, or pants, or even try to grab their face (not aggressively, just curiously). I've intervened when I see her trying to grab another baby's face and apologise to their parents. Most of the time, the parent would say it's no problem the babies are just playing and it's fine.
At what point do you just let your baby explore and not have to intervene or pull them away if they get a bit hands on?

The main character was a girl with that Alexandra’s Genesis trope of purple eyes. I could be wrong and mixing it up with another book but I think the first chapter she’s confused and running through the woods in the rain?
The book was one of those fairytale retellings that put all the characters in a fantasy realm together like “School for Good and Evil” or “The Land of Stories,” but I remember the tone being kind of bleak. I think there was kind of a hub where fairytale characters or nursery rhyme characters or something were being assigned their jobs or… lives? Or something. They were being assigned something, and everyone was kind of upset about having no choice. I think it was modelled more dystopian-story-esque where the protagonist and her love interest (I think a blond boy?) had to change the regime or something.
It could have been young readers or YA, but I do remember there being some blood. It also could have come out during the era of dystopian novels being big because I think it had similar vibes but with fairytale/nursery rhyme characters.

Sorry if this has been brought up. New to this sub but does everyone wonder how she can do so much(talk, makeup, etc) in the car with her own music playing with Trig? My daughter is 1.5 and I have to play nursery rhymes/ms rachel on audio for her to be chill in the car. I find it weird that he is chilling while she plays full blown rap? Is it just because she straps him with an iPad 24/7. I’ve noticed this for a while now

As the title states, I need help finding the last bits of Nursery Rhymes and one last doll. The doll I can look up or will find through the help of the internet, but the Nursery Rhymes piss me off because NO ONE on the internet thought to organize the findings.
As seen in the Screenshot, I need the following:

1. Doll #4
2. Final CL Rhyme (#5)
3. Watery Rhyme #2
4. The 1st and last (#5) Rhymes in BF FOUND

All I need is the names of these rhymes and I'm good to go.
P.S. Thanks in Advance
https://preview.redd.it/l8qtuxlsj40d1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=b85f9766e670da3088c800581fe5b94da753edf1
Screenshot of what I've got/need

Previous thread
This is the weekly translation status update thread. Use this thread to discuss translation news, issues, titles you're looking forward to, etc.
Note: This is simply a mirror from 4chan's weekly thread on the /jp/ board. All credit goes to the user VNTS there. I'm simply copying and pasting for discussion sake here since some people can't access 4chan.
Entries in Bold have had changes since last week
Entries in itallics denote my own changes

Fan Translations

• 12RIVEN -the Ψcliminal of integral- - 42% translated
• Aiyoku No Eustia - In progress 100% TL patch leaked, project to continue, 100% Translated/edited/TLC
• Akatsuki no Goei ~Principal-tachi no Kyuujitsu~ - 100% translated and edited, 70.11% through QA
• Akatsuki no Goei ~Tsumibukaki Shuumatsuron~ - 100% translated, 41,122 lines edited (67.64%), 4,508 (7.42%) through QA
• Axanael - "Overwhelming majority" of the text translated, including the main story, some side content remains, in need of editing
• CHAOS;HEAD Love Chu Chu! - 70.54% translated, 22.70% edited
• CHAOS;CHILD Love Chu Chu!! - 100% translated, 55.30% edited
• Chusingura 46+1 - 36455/82770 (44.04%) lines translated, Kuranosuke route partial patch released
• Dragon Knight 4 - 60% translated, playtesting also ongoing
• Fate/Stay Night - Partial patch released with a new translation for Fate/UBW/9 days of HF
• Haruka na Sora - Sora and Yahiro routes translated, Kozue 75% translated, Sora 90% edited
• Honoo no Haramase Oppai Nyuu Doukyuusei ~Oppai mo Haramase! New Class Zen'in Harama-sensation!~ - Picked up, porting to Ren'Py
• If My Heart Had Wings: Snow Presents - 100% translated, 100% edited
• Jisatsu no Tame no 101 no Houhou - 17% translated
• Junketsu Megami-Sama - 2nd Alpha patch released, Astarotte route finishing up
• Kaseki no Uta - 100% translated, 4770/15389 (31%) edited
• Ken ga Kimi - 58% translated
• Koukan no Toriko-Tachi - Prologue, common, and Cuckold Play route translated, Swinging Route 35%, Yukari POV 40%
• Kud Wafter - AA Version 23,835/31,579 (75.5%) Lines translated, 18+ Version 19,240 / 33,113 (58.1%) lines translated
• Kusarihime ~Euthanasia~ - Translation finished, fully edited
• Lover Able - 100% translated and edited, 9419/32258 lines approved (29.47%)
• Lucky Star ~Ryouou Gakuen Outousai~ - episode 1 patch released
• Maji de Watashi ni Koishinasai! A - Ryouken Route After - 1942/3,494 (55.58%) lines translated
• Maji de Watashi ni Koishinasai! A Plus Disk - Preparing files
• Manakashi no Yuri wa Akaku Somaru - 66% translated
• Miagete Goran, Yozora no Hoshi o - 1 of 4 routes translation finished for the restoration patch, Houkiboshi Hika 2 of 4 H-scenes translated
• Mujou no Erasmus - The Erasmus two-faced stories - Released
• Nursery Rhyme - 100% translated and edited, text insertion 100% complete, testing ongoing
• Pure Pure - 100% translated, needs proofreading, partial patch released, all routes have been inserted
• Sakura no Uta - Chapter I 30% translated
• Sakura No Toki - 9.42% translated, 8.55% edited
• Sakura Wars 2 - Demo patch released, ADV, Battle, and "Long Day in the Theater" mode fully translated, disc 1 text inserted
• Sen no Hatou, Tsukisome no Kouki - Both original and fan disc 100% translated, in need of editing
• Shirotsume Yubiwa - 100% translated, 50% beta patch released
• Shizuku - 120/197 script files translated, 20/197 edited
• Taima Seiko Alice - 40% translated, 35% edited, 35% proofread, 1st partial patch out
• Tenshi no Inai 12-gatsu - 100% translated, Editing ongoing
• To Heart - 720/993 scripts translated, 200/993 edited
• Tokimeki Memorial 2 - Being translated
• Tokimeki Memorial Girls Side 4 - 55% translated
• Tsui no Sora Remake - 100% translated and edited, finalization progressing
• Umi kara Kuru Mono - 91/138 scripts translated
• Ushinawareta Mirai o Motomete - 22325/35416 (63.0%) lines translated
• Yosuga no Sora - Translation finished, editing and TLC ongoing, Total: TL 100% TLC 71% ED 55%, Common/Kazuha/Motoka/Sora routes fully edited

Official work

MangaGamer

• The Pillagers of Raillore - Out of Beta
• Ciconia - Phase 1 Released
• Hadaka Shitsuji fandisc - Picked up
• Rance 03 - 79% translated, 41% edited
• Rance X - 94% translated, 5% edited
• Luckydog1 - 100% translated and edited
• Funbag Fantasy 4 - 84% translated, 80% edited
• Eve of the 12th Month - 100% translated and 88% edited
• DEAD DAYS - 100% translated and edited
• Beat Valkyrie Ixseal - 88% translated and 81% edited
• Welcome to a Sexy, Open World - 98% translated and 90% edited

JAST

• Sisters: Last Day of Summer - June 3rd release
• Sumaga- Slow progress ongoing
• Katahane - Progress being made again
• Django - Not actively making progress
• Tokyo Hero Project - Translation finished, dealing with bugs
• Machine Child - Still being developed
• Yomegami: My Sweet Goddess - 100% translated
• Yamizome Liberator - Picked up
• Mojika: Truth Rears Its Ugly Head - Picked up
• Djibril - 100% translated, in editing
• Masquerade: Hell Academy - Through 1st QA pass, in 2nd QA pass

Sekai/Denpa

• Happy Saint Sheol - 100% edited, 40% QA, Demo released
• Harumade Kururu - Waiting on build
• Rewrite+ Harvest Festa - 100% translated, 40% edited, Steam page up, 2024 release
• Subete no Koi ni, Hanabata o. - 50% translated
• Sumire - Picked up
• Sanarara R - 100% translated and edited, waiting on build
• Glass - Picked up
• New Glass - Picked up
• Karakara 3 - 100% translated and edited, 70% engine work
• Yume to Iro de Dekiteiru - 100% translated, 35% edited
• Zutto Mae Kara Joshi Deshita - 100% translated, in editing
• Chiisana Kanojo no Serenade - 75% translated, 35% edited
• Hoshizora e Kakaru Hashi 10% translated
• Hoshizora e Kakaru Hashi AA - Announced
• Akaneiro ni Somaru Saka - 50% translated
• Hamidashi Creative - Announced
• Inupara - In Development
• Nekopara After La Vraie Familie - In Development
• Raspberry Cube - Announced
• NEKO-NIN exHeart SPIN - 100% translated and edited, waiting on build

Nekonyan

• Angel Chaos RE-BOOT!- Delayed after Steam rejection
• Dracu Riot - Waiting on Build, Release date announcement on hold until after Angel Chaos
• Melty Moment - 80% translated
• Fureraba Complete edition - Vita exclusive content to be added to Fureraba a couple months after the fandisc release
• Floral Flowlove - 100% translated, 70% edited, enging port ongoing
• Kakenuke Seishun Sparking - 80% translated, 70% edited, QA started
• Love, Elections, & Chocolate - 100% translated and edited, Engine port nearly finished, entering QA shortly
• Love Love Love, Burning in my Heart! - 100% translated and 74% edited
• Ready or Not: The Deadline is Coming! - 100% translated, 99% edited, waiting on build
• Mysteries of the Heart: The Psychic Detective Case Files - 100% translated and edited, engine work in progress
• Secret Project 2 - 100% translated and edited, queued for Unity port
• Secret Project 3 - 100% translated and edited, 50% though QA

PQube

• SINce Memories: Off the Starry Sky - Announced

VisualArts

• Summer Pockets Reflection Blue - 2024 release

Dualtail

• Venus Blood Ragnarok - Kickstarter starting in May

Frontwing

• Lilja and Natsuka: Painting Lies - July 25th release
• Revue Starlight El Dorado - August 8th release
• Everlasting Flowers - August 29th release date
• Sharin no Kuni - Working to resolve remaining issues

Aksys

• Radiant Tale -Fanfare- - June 27th release
• Tales from Toyotoki: Arrival of the Witch - Summer release
• Virche Evermore -EpiC: Lycoris- - Fall release
• Despera Drops - 2025 release

Age titles

• Kiminozo - Aiming for a Summer 2024 release

Fakku

• Two Beasts Or Not To Beast!! - 2.0 version, editing in progress
• Forbidden Ward - In Pre-Production

Saikey Studios (mix of official/unofficial)

• Yaricir Kanojo ~Seiso de Yasashii Kanojo wa Yaricir no Hime Deshita~ - Released
• The Reason For Your Smile - Steam page up, Happy and NTR routes translated
• Toaru Hahaoya no Ayamachi ~Yukari Hen~ - 50% translated

HyoukanOpera

• Knight Case Files - Trial released, upcoming release

MAGES. GAME

• Corpse Party II - Darkness Distortion - 2024 release

Voltage Inc.

• Project Code Kaleido Tower - 2024 release
• Project Code Neon Mafia - 2024 release
• Project Code Vampire Hunter - 2025 release

B-cluster

• Re;quartz Raid - 2024 release

MediBang Inc.

• Cocktail Magic - Upcoming release

Kamitsubaki Studio

• KAMITSUBAKI CITY REGENERATE - Upcoming release

Dayu Zixun

• Voice Love on Air - Upcoming release

moesoft

• Devil Girl - Released

Shiravune

• AMANATSU ~Perfect Edition~ - May 17th release
• Destiny Star Girlfriend 2 - Q2 2024 release
• Real Hentai Situation! 2 - 2024 release
• NYO-NIN-JIMA -My New Life in Charge of a Tropical Island- - 2024 release
• Kara no Shoujo III - Announced
• Sacrifice Villains - Announced

Kagura Games

• Forsaken Quartet - May 18th release
• Yoru ga Kuru! -Square of the Moon- Remastered - 2024 release
• Angel Tear: Goddess Betrayed - Upcoming release

Aniplex

• Tsukihime -A piece of blue glass moon- - June 27th release
• Fate/stay night REMASTERED - 2024 release
• Hookah Haze - 2024 release
• Tanetsumi no Uta - 2024 release

Spike Chunsoft

• The Quintessential Quintuplets: Memories of a Quintessential Summer - Announced
• The Quintessential Quintuplets: Five Memories Spent With You - Announced

Love Lab

• Ever Maiden - 2024 release

DLsite

• Friendly lab - unlock(); - Upcoming release
• Club Suicide - Picked up

Idea Factory

• Cupid Parasite: Sweet and Spicy Darling - May 28th release
• 9 R.I.P. - Fall 2024 release
• Date A Live: Ren Dystopia - 2024 release

CRAFTWORK

• Geminism - English version announced

Harukaze

• Monkeys! - English release planned

Moonchime

• Haunted Obachestra Vol.1 Awaking - Upcoming release

Alice In Dissonance

• Fault Milestone 2 - Side Below - Upcoming release

G-mode

• Shinjuku Soumei - Demo Released, May 24th release

MiKandi Japan

• Libra of the Vampire Princess - All versions of the patches in testing

PRODUCTION PENCIL

• Paradise Cleaning! -Tutor X Hypnosis- - Upcoming release

072 Project

• Princess Paradise - 2024 release

F&C

• NTR with hypnosis application - Upcoming release

Eroge Japan

• Trap Yuri Garden - 2024 release

Tensei Games

• Unfaithful Wife: Ayano's "Netorare Report" - My gentle wife is fucking another man - - Q2 2024 release

GRAVITY GAME ARISE

• Tokyo Psychodemic - Demo released, May 30th release

Dark Nyaa

• Master & Succubi Hentai Lessons 2 - April release

MintLip

• Him, the Smile & Bloom - August 8th release

Cherry Kiss

• Cosplay Cumdump: Doing it Doujin Style - May 23rd release

This is the weekly translation status update thread. Use this thread to discuss translation news, issues, titles you're looking forward to, etc.
Note: This is simply a mirror from 4chan's weekly thread on the /jp/ board. All credit goes to the user VNTS there. Entries in Bold have had changes since last week
Fan Translations

• 12RIVEN -the Ψcliminal of integral- - 42% translated
  
• Aikano ~Yukizora no Triangle~ - Common Route translated
  
• Aiyoku No Eustia - In progress 100% TL patch leaked, project to continue, 100% Translated/edited/TLC
  
• Akatsuki no Goei ~Principal-tachi no Kyuujitsu~ - 100% translated and edited, 70.11% through QA
  
• Akatsuki no Goei ~Tsumibukaki Shuumatsuron~ - 100% translated, 41,122 lines edited (67.64%), 4,508 (7.42%) through QA
  
• Axanael - "Overwhelming majority" of the text translated, including the main story, some side content remains, in need of editing
  
• CHAOS;HEAD Love Chu Chu! - 70.54% translated, 22.70% edited
  
• CHAOS;CHILD Love Chu Chu!! - 100% translated, 55.30% edited
  
• Chicchakunai Mon - 100% translated and 39.5% edited
  
• Chusingura 46+1 - 36455/82770 (44.04%) lines translated, Kuranosuke route partial patch released
  
• Deatte 5-fun wa Ore no Mono! Jikan Teishi to Atropos - Common Route patch released
  
• Dragon Knight 4 - 60% translated, playtesting also ongoing
  
• Fate/Stay Night - Partial patch released with a new translation for Fate/UBW/9 days of HF
  
• Enrenchuu no Toshishita Kanojo ga Onna ni Ueta Osuzaru-domo no Gakuen de Koubi Aite ni Sareteta. - 10% translated
  
• Haruka na Sora - Sora and Yahiro routes translated, Kozue 75% translated, Sora 90% edited
  
• Honoo no Haramase Oppai Nyuu Doukyuusei ~Oppai mo Haramase! New Class Zen'in Harama-sensation!~ - Picked up, porting to Ren'Py
  
• If My Heart Had Wings: Snow Presents - 100% translated, 100% edited
  
• Jisatsu no Tame no 101 no Houhou - 17% translated
  
• Junketsu Megami-Sama - 2nd Alpha patch released, Astarotte route finishing up
  
• Kaseki no Uta - 100% translated, 4770/15389 (31%) edited
  
• Ken ga Kimi - 58% translated
  
• Koukan no Toriko-Tachi - Prologue, common, and Cuckold Play route translated, Swinging Route 35%, Yukari POV 40%
  
• Kud Wafter AA Version - 23,835/31,579 (75.5%) Lines translated, 18+ Version 19,240 / 33,113 (58.1) lines translated
  
• Kusarihime ~Euthanasia~ - Translation finished, fully edited
  
• Lover Able - 100% translated and edited, 9419/32258 lines approved (29.47%)
  
• Lucky Star ~Ryouou Gakuen Outousai~ - episode 1 patch released
  
• Maji de Watashi ni Koishinasai! A - Ryouken Route After - 1942/3,494 (55.58%) lines translated
  
• Maji de Watashi ni Koishinasai! A Plus Disk - Preparing files
  
• Manakashi no Yuri wa Akaku Somaru - 66% translated
  
• Miagete Goran, Yozora no Hoshi o - 1 of 4 routes translation finished for the restoration patch, Houkiboshi Hika 2 of 4 H-scenes translated
  
• Mujou no Erasmus - The Erasmus two-faced stories - Released
  
• Nursery Rhyme - 100% translated and edited, text insertion 100% complete, testing ongoing
  
• Pure Pure - 100% translated, needs proofreading, partial patch released, all routes have been inserted
  
• Sakura no Uta - Chapter I 30% translated
  
• Sakura Wars 2 - Demo patch released, ADV, Battle, and "Long Day in the Theater" mode fully translated, disc 1 text inserted
  
• Sen no Hatou, Tsukisome no Kouki - Both original and fan disc 100% translated, in need of editing
  
• Shirotsume Yubiwa - 100% translated, 50% beta patch released
  
• Shizuku - 120/197 script files translated, 20/197 edited
  
• Taima Seiko Alice - 40% translated, 35% edited, 35% proofread, 1st partial patch out
  
• Tenshi no Inai 12-gatsu - 100% translated, Editing ongoing
  
• To Heart - 720/993 scripts translated, 200/993 edited
  
• Tokimeki Memorial 2 - Being translated
  
• Tokimeki Memorial Girls Side 4 - 55% translated
  
• Tsui no Sora Remake - 100% translated and edited, finalization progressing
  
• Umi kara Kuru Mono - 91/138 scripts translated
  
• Ushinawareta Mirai o Motomete - 22325/35416 (63.0%) lines translated
  
• Yosuga no Sora - Translation finished, editing and TLC ongoing, Total: TL 100% TLC 71% ED 55%, Common/Kazuha/Motoka/Sora routes fully edited
  

Official work
MangaGamer

• The Pillagers of Raillore - Out of Beta
  
• Ciconia - Phase 1 Released
  
• Hadaka Shitsuji fandisc - Picked up
  
• Rance 03 - 79% translated, 41% edited
  
• Rance X - 94% translated, 5% edited
  
• Luckydog1 - 100% translated and edited
  
• Funbag Fantasy 4 - 84% translated, 80% edited
  
• Eve of the 12th Month - 100% translated and 88% edited
  
• DEAD DAYS - 100% translated and edited
  
• Beat Valkyrie Ixseal - 88% translated and 81% edited
  
• Welcome to a Sexy, Open World - 98% translated and 90% edited
  

JAST

• Sumaga- Slow progress ongoing
  
• Katahane - Progress being made again
  
• Django - Not actively making progress
  
• Tokyo Hero Project - Translation finished, dealing with bugs
  
• Machine Child - Still being developed
  
• Yomegami: My Sweet Goddess - 100% translated
  
• Yamizome Liberator - Picked up
  
• Mojika: Truth Rears Its Ugly Head - Picked up
  
• Djibril - 100% translated, in editing
  
• Sisters: Last Day of Summer - June 3rd release
  
• Masquerade: Hell Academy - Through 1st QA pass, in 2nd QA pass
  

Age titles

• Kiminozo - Aiming for a Summer 2024 release

Sekai/Denpa

• Happy Saint Sheol - 100% edited, 40% QA, Demo released
  
• Harumade Kururu - Waiting on build
  
• Rewrite+ Harvest Festa - 100% translated, 40% edited, Steam page up, 2024 release
  
• Subete no Koi ni, Hanabata o. - 50% translated
  
• Sumire - Picked up
  
• Sanarara R - 100% translated and edited, waiting on build
  
• Glass - Picked up
  
• New Glass - Picked up
  
• Karakara 3 - 100% translated and edited, 70% engine work
  
• Yume to Iro de Dekiteiru - 100% translated, 35% edited
  
• Zutto Mae Kara Joshi Deshita - 100% translated, in editing
  
• Chiisana Kanojo no Serenade - 75% translated, 35% edited
  
• Hoshizora e Kakaru Hashi - 10% translated
  
• Hoshizora e Kakaru Hashi AA - Announced
  
• Akaneiro ni Somaru Saka - 50% translated
  
• Hamidashi Creative - Announced
  
• Inupara - In Development
  
• Nekopara After La Vraie Familie - In Development
  
• Raspberry Cube - Announced
  
• NEKO-NIN exHeart SPIN - 100% translated and edited, waiting on build
  

VisualArts

• Summer Pockets Reflection Blue - 2024 release

Nekonyan

• Dracu Riot - Waiting on Build, Release date announcement on hold until after Angel Chaos
  
• Melty Moment - 80% translated
  
• Fureraba Complete edition - Vita exclusive content to be added to Fureraba a couple months after the fandisc release
  
• Floral Flowlove - 100% translated, 70% edited, enging port ongoing
  
• Kakenuke Seishun Sparking - 80% translated, 70% edited, QA started
  
• Love, Elections, & Chocolate -100% translated and edited, Engine port nearly finished, entering QA shortly
  
• Love Love Love, Burning in my Heart! - 100% translated and 74% edited
  
• Ready or Not: The Deadline is Coming! - 100% translated, 99% edited, waiting on build
  
• Mysteries of the Heart: The Psychic Detective Case Files - 100% translated and edited, engine work in progress
  
• Angel Chaos RE-BOOT! - Delayed after Steam rejection
  
• Secret Project 2 - 100% translated and edited, queued for Unity port
  
• Secret Project 3 - 100% translated and edited, 50% though QA
  

PQube

• SINce Memories: Off the Starry Sky - Announced
  
• Gensou Manège - Announced
  

Dualtail

• Venus Blood Ragnarok - Kickstarter starting in May

Frontwing

• Sharin no Kuni - Working to resolve remaining issues
  
• Lilja and Natsuka: Painting Lies - July 25th release
  
• Everlasting Flowers - August 29th release date
  
• Revue Starlight El Dorado - August 8th release
  

Fakku

• Two Beasts Or Not To Beast!! - 2.0 version, editing in progress
  
• Forbidden Ward - In Pre-Production
  

Saikey Studios (mix of official/unofficial)

• Yaricir Kanojo ~Seiso de Yasashii Kanojo wa Yaricir no Hime Deshita~ - Released
  
• The Reason For Your Smile - Steam page up, Happy and NTR routes translated
  
• Toaru Hahaoya no Ayamachi ~Yukari Hen~ - 50% translated
  

HyoukanOpera

• Knight Case Files - Trial released, upcoming release

MAGES. GAMES

• Corpse Party II - Darkness Distortion - 2024 release

Voltage Inc.

• Project Code Kaleido Tower - 2024 release
  
• Project Code Neon Mafia - 2024 release
  
• Project Code Vampire Hunter - 2025 release
  

Aksys

• Radiant Tale -Fanfare- - June 27th release
  
• Tales from Toyotoki: Arrival of the Witch - Summer release
  
• Virche Evermore -EpiC: Lycoris- - Fall release
  
• Despera Drops - 2025 release
  

B-cluster

• Re;quartz Raid- 2024 release

MediBang Inc.-

• Cocktail Magic - Upcoming release

Kamitsubaki Studio

• KAMITSUBAKI CITY REGENERATE - Upcoming release

Dayu Zixun

• Voice Love on Air - Upcoming release

moesoft

• Devil Girl - Released

Shiravune

• NYO-NIN-JIMA -My New Life in Charge of a Tropical Island- - 2024 release
  
• Kara no Shoujo III - Announced
  
• Destiny Star Girlfriend 2 - Q2 2024 release
  
• Real Hentai Situation! 2 - 2024 release
  
• Sacrifice Villains - Announced
  
• AMANATSU ~Perfect Edition~ - May 17th release
  

Kagura Games

• Yoru ga Kuru! -Square of the Moon- Remastered - 2024 release
  
• Forsaken Quartet - May 18th release
  
• Angel Tear: Goddess Betrayed) - Upcoming release
  

Aniplex

• Tsukihime -A piece of blue glass moon - June 27th release
  
• Fate/stay night REMASTERED - 2024 release
  
• Hookah Haze - 2024 release
  
• Tanetsumi no Uta - 2024 release
  

Spike Chunsoft

• The Quintessential Quintuplets: Memories of a Quintessential Summer - Announced
  
• The Quintessential Quintuplets: Five Memories Spent With You - Announced
  

Love Lab

• Ever Maiden - 2024 release

DLsite

• Friendly lab - unlock(); - Upcoming release
  
• Club Suicide - Picked up
  

Idea Factory

• 9 R.I.P. - Fall 2024 release
  
• Date A Live: Ren Dystopia - 2024 release
  
• Cupid Parasite: Sweet and Spicy Darling - May 28th release
  

CRAFTWORK

• Geminism - English version announced

Harukaze

• Monkeys! - English release planned

Moonchime

• Haunted Obachestra Vol.1 Awaking - Upcoming release

Alice In Dissonance

• Fault Milestone 2 - Side Below - Upcoming release

G-mode

• Shinjuku Soumei - Demo Released, May 24th release

HyoukanOpera

• Knight Case Files - January release

MiKandi Japan

• Libra of the Vampire Princess - All versions of the patches in testing

PRODUCTION PENCIL

• Paradise Cleaning! -Tutor X Hypnosis - January release

072 Project

• Princess Paradise - 2024 release

F&C

• NTR with hypnosis application - Upcoming release

Eroge Japan

• Trap Yuri Garden - 2024 release

Tensei Games

• Unfaithful Wife: Ayano's "Netorare Report" - My gentle wife is fucking another man - Q2 2024 release

GRAVITY GAME ARISE

• Tokyo Psychodemic - Demo released, May 30th release

Dark [Word I can't say due to Automod deleting my posts:(]

• Master & Succubi Hentai Lessons 2 - April release

MintLip

• Him, the Smile & Bloom - August 8th release

Cherry Kiss

• Cosplay Cumdump: Doing it Doujin Style - May 23rd release

Other

• NarKarma EngineA - Announced, in development

Growing up (late 2000s early 2010s) I remember having a nursery rhyme book, and I can’t find a copy of it anywhere. I remember it having a nursery rhyme either on one page, or across two pages, illustrated in full colour, and I remember some of the nursery rhymes being Little Miss Muffet, Wee Willy Winky, Hickory Dickory Dock, one about blackbirds in a pie, the one about the family who lived in a shoe, and several others. I’ve tried to find the exact book for weeks now, and this is my last resort. I seem to recall little miss muffet on the cover, but my memory could be mistaking it for the books page

I know I'm in my cups and you think I'm just speaking nonsense, but let me tell you, NASA knows. They don't just explore space, they used to explore the oceans too. Similar to space, just more pressurized and desolate. Oh, you think space is scarier than our oceans? HA! That tells me you don't know much about the oceans at all. You see, in space you just freeze and run out of oxygen. I mean, sure, that sounds horrible, but compared to what the ocean will do to your body that's damn near a nursery rhyme.
The ocean will crush your body like a popped balloon. The pressure of just a few hundred meters will make every part of your body that has air in it collapse, pushing your blood and tissue out of all of your orifices like one of those stress balls you squeeze. POP! There go your lungs and kidneys. And now every predator in the water knows you're just meat to consume. Not like you care, your brain is mush and you are long dead before the first shark even smells your blood.
No, that's not even the scariest part. Say you're down in a proper submarine, observing the flora and fauna of the ocean, when a large great white thinks your light is food. It rams you and..well, you hear the alarm bells. You have two choices, ascend fast enough to get oxygen and likely die of pulmonary barotrauma, or you can try to ascend slowly, use the oxygen tank you keep in case of emergencies, and pray to whatever gods you believe in that you can get above the crush depth in time. Let me tell you, it's a bloody nightmare down there. Don't even get me started on nitrogen narcosis and oxygen toxicity. I could go on for days about all the things that could kill you in the water, and that's not even including ANYTHING living in it. The water itself wants you dead.
Honestly though? The worst of it all is how little we know about the deepest parts. I've been down there. I've seen some THINGS man. I saw shit you couldn't imagine in your worst fever dreams. Discovery channel wouldn't even touch this crap because aliens are more believable than some of the monsters we've seen down there. We thought we knew what we were getting ourselves into when we prepared to explore the Challenger Deep, but ooooooh buddy were we so wrong. Ugh. My cup's sprung a leak, can you fix that for me? Story telling's thirsty work, wouldn't you say? This isn't a story, not that you're likely to believe me on that. So where was I? Right, the Challenger Deep! That's the deepest part of the Mariana trench. Yeah yeah, everyone's heard of it.
So we went down there. Some wild stuff down there my man, wild stuff. We were taking samples, doing research, all the normal stuff. I used to work for NASA as well as NOAA, they were in....what's the word...cahoots? Anyways, so we're down there doing our thing and we get an alarm. Something is coming at us and FAST. We only had a few seconds to react, and I zigged. Learned that in Florida. They tell you to run zigzag instead of straight for alligators, but that's dumb, they'll snatch your ass straight, but whatever. I didn't go up or down, just to the side. We hit the wall so hard most of our experiment crashed around our feet, but we were alive. Man that was lucky. We powered all the lights down and waited, watching to see what kind of predator just tried to make a meal out of us. People think there's prehistoric sharks and shit down there. HA! Those ancient fuckers would be scared shitless by the reality. Anyways.
After a few minutes of silence, we decided to go ahead and turn our lights back on. What we saw. Man. I don't even want to say. Another drink you say? Don't mind if I do! Thank you kindly sir! So...we turned the lights on and realized we were stuck in something. It was gelatinous and cloudy, and it stretched as far as our lights could show. It took us multiple attempts to extract our craft from it. Man, we really thought we were gonna die down there, like a mouse in a glue trap. I kinda wish I had, what we saw is enough to make a man drink to his death. Once we got a few meters away from the substructure we turned our lights to it. I know this is gonna be hard to believe, hell, I saw it with my own two eyes and I hardly believe it myself. It was an eye. It spanned as far as we could see. I see you shaking your head, I don't blame you. We didn't believe what we saw either, but then this big wall came rushing at us and we went up enough to avoid it. It was this thing's EYELID! It was so huge we couldn't see the end of it, but we knew we had to go up enough to avoid it hitting us. We started our ascent, we were TOTALLY done with this shit. As we went up we saw what could only be the iris of the eye turning towards us. Let me tell you, grown men can scream high enough to damn near shatter your ear drums.
We almost screwed up, we nearly lost our sanity and just rushed to the surface. Luckily my main man Jeff came to his senses and stopped us. Still had the bends for WEEKS from the distance we got to before we filled the ballast tanks with water and stopped ourselves. That was fun. Feels like you're dying, like your bones are trying to escape your body. Never felt pain like that before. That was...yeah that was rough. Most of us wanted to die it hurt so bad. But I'm getting off track. Whatever, never gonna happen again, you can bet your ass I'm not getting in the water again. Nah, NASA has the right of it. Space is where we need to be going. We need to get off this planet. That thing down there....it was so gigantic, it was literally bigger than any continent. I don't know about you, but I know I'm curious about where it's second eye is, assuming it has two. I know you think this is just the ramblings of a drunk fool, and you'd be half right, but I think what we saw that day was the eye of the world. I think it's watching us and finding us wanting. I don't want to be here when it decides we aren't worth the air we breathe. No, NASA knows what's down there, and they're itching to find us a new planet. Hopefully one without eyes. I just hope they find it soon enough to get me off this rock. Now, how about another drink?

I know I'm in my cups and you think I'm just speaking nonsense, but let me tell you, NASA knows. They don't just explore space, they used to explore the oceans too. Similar to space, just more pressurized and desolate. Oh, you think space is scarier than our oceans? HA! That tells me you don't know much about the oceans at all. You see, in space you just freeze and run out of oxygen. I mean, sure, that sounds horrible, but compared to what the ocean will do to your body that's damn near a nursery rhyme.
The ocean will crush your body like a popped balloon. The pressure of just a few hundred meters will make every part of your body that has air in it collapse, pushing your blood and tissue out of all of your orifices like one of those stress balls you squeeze. POP! There go your lungs and kidneys. And now every predator in the water knows you're just meat to consume. Not like you care, your brain is mush and you are long dead before the first shark even smells your blood.
No, that's not even the scariest part. Say you're down in a proper submarine, observing the flora and fauna of the ocean, when a large great white thinks your light is food. It rams you and..well, you hear the alarm bells. You have two choices, ascend fast enough to get oxygen and likely die of pulmonary barotrauma, or you can try to ascend slowly, use the oxygen tank you keep in case of emergencies, and pray to whatever gods you believe in that you can get above the crush depth in time. Let me tell you, it's a bloody nightmare down there. Don't even get me started on nitrogen narcosis and oxygen toxicity. I could go on for days about all the things that could kill you in the water, and that's not even including ANYTHING living in it. The water itself wants you dead.
Honestly though? The worst of it all is how little we know about the deepest parts. I've been down there. I've seen some THINGS man. I saw shit you couldn't imagine in your worst fever dreams. Discovery channel wouldn't even touch this crap because aliens are more believable than some of the monsters we've seen down there. We thought we knew what we were getting ourselves into when we prepared to explore the Challenger Deep, but ooooooh buddy were we so wrong. Ugh. My cup's sprung a leak, can you fix that for me? Story telling's thirsty work, wouldn't you say? This isn't a story, not that you're likely to believe me on that. So where was I? Right, the Challenger Deep! That's the deepest part of the Mariana trench. Yeah yeah, everyone's heard of it.
So we went down there. Some wild stuff down there my man, wild stuff. We were taking samples, doing research, all the normal stuff. I used to work for NASA as well as NOAA, they were in....what's the word...cahoots? Anyways, so we're down there doing our thing and we get an alarm. Something is coming at us and FAST. We only had a few seconds to react, and I zigged. Learned that in Florida. They tell you to run zigzag instead of straight for alligators, but that's dumb, they'll snatch your ass straight, but whatever. I didn't go up or down, just to the side. We hit the wall so hard most of our experiment crashed around our feet, but we were alive. Man that was lucky. We powered all the lights down and waited, watching to see what kind of predator just tried to make a meal out of us. People think there's prehistoric sharks and shit down there. HA! Those ancient fuckers would be scared shitless by the reality. Anyways.
After a few minutes of silence, we decided to go ahead and turn our lights back on. What we saw. Man. I don't even want to say. Another drink you say? Don't mind if I do! Thank you kindly sir! So...we turned the lights on and realized we were stuck in something. It was gelatinous and cloudy, and it stretched as far as our lights could show. It took us multiple attempts to extract our craft from it. Man, we really thought we were gonna die down there, like a mouse in a glue trap. I kinda wish I had, what we saw is enough to make a man drink to his death. Once we got a few meters away from the substructure we turned our lights to it. I know this is gonna be hard to believe, hell, I saw it with my own two eyes and I hardly believe it myself. It was an eye. It spanned as far as we could see. I see you shaking your head, I don't blame you. We didn't believe what we saw either, but then this big wall came rushing at us and we went up enough to avoid it. It was this thing's EYELID! It was so huge we couldn't see the end of it, but we knew we had to go up enough to avoid it hitting us. We started our ascent, we were TOTALLY done with this shit. As we went up we saw what could only be the iris of the eye turning towards us. Let me tell you, grown men can scream high enough to damn near shatter your ear drums.
We almost screwed up, we nearly lost our sanity and just rushed to the surface. Luckily my main man Jeff came to his senses and stopped us. Still had the bends for WEEKS from the distance we got to before we filled the ballast tanks with water and stopped ourselves. That was fun. Feels like you're dying, like your bones are trying to escape your body. Never felt pain like that before. That was...yeah that was rough. Most of us wanted to die it hurt so bad. But I'm getting off track. Whatever, never gonna happen again, you can bet your ass I'm not getting in the water again. Nah, NASA has the right of it. Space is where we need to be going. We need to get off this planet. That thing down there....it was so gigantic, it was literally bigger than any continent. I don't know about you, but I know I'm curious about where it's second eye is, assuming it has two. I know you think this is just the ramblings of a drunk fool, and you'd be half right, but I think what we saw that day was the eye of the world. I think it's watching us and finding us wanting. I don't want to be here when it decides we aren't worth the air we breathe. No, NASA knows what's down there, and they're itching to find us a new planet. Hopefully one without eyes. I just hope they find it soon enough to get me off this rock. Now, how about another drink?

I know I'm in my cups and you think I'm just speaking nonsense, but let me tell you, NASA knows. They don't just explore space, they used to explore the oceans too. Similar to space, just more pressurized and desolate. Oh, you think space is scarier than our oceans? HA! That tells me you don't know much about the oceans at all. You see, in space you just freeze and run out of oxygen. I mean, sure, that sounds horrible, but compared to what the ocean will do to your body that's damn near a nursery rhyme.
The ocean will crush your body like a popped balloon. The pressure of just a few hundred meters will make every part of your body that has air in it collapse, pushing your blood and tissue out of all of your orifices like one of those stress balls you squeeze. POP! There go your lungs and kidneys. And now every predator in the water knows you're just meat to consume. Not like you care, your brain is mush and you are long dead before the first shark even smells your blood.
No, that's not even the scariest part. Say you're down in a proper submarine, observing the flora and fauna of the ocean, when a large great white thinks your light is food. It rams you and..well, you hear the alarm bells. You have two choices, ascend fast enough to get oxygen and likely die of pulmonary barotrauma, or you can try to ascend slowly, use the oxygen tank you keep in case of emergencies, and pray to whatever gods you believe in that you can get above the crush depth in time. Let me tell you, it's a bloody nightmare down there. Don't even get me started on nitrogen narcosis and oxygen toxicity. I could go on for days about all the things that could kill you in the water, and that's not even including ANYTHING living in it. The water itself wants you dead.
Honestly though? The worst of it all is how little we know about the deepest parts. I've been down there. I've seen some THINGS man. I saw shit you couldn't imagine in your worst fever dreams. Discovery channel wouldn't even touch this crap because aliens are more believable than some of the monsters we've seen down there. We thought we knew what we were getting ourselves into when we prepared to explore the Challenger Deep, but ooooooh buddy were we so wrong. Ugh. My cup's sprung a leak, can you fix that for me? Story telling's thirsty work, wouldn't you say? This isn't a story, not that you're likely to believe me on that. So where was I? Right, the Challenger Deep! That's the deepest part of the Mariana trench. Yeah yeah, everyone's heard of it.
So we went down there. Some wild stuff down there my man, wild stuff. We were taking samples, doing research, all the normal stuff. I used to work for NASA as well as NOAA, they were in....what's the word...cahoots? Anyways, so we're down there doing our thing and we get an alarm. Something is coming at us and FAST. We only had a few seconds to react, and I zigged. Learned that in Florida. They tell you to run zigzag instead of straight for alligators, but that's dumb, they'll snatch your ass straight, but whatever. I didn't go up or down, just to the side. We hit the wall so hard most of our experiment crashed around our feet, but we were alive. Man that was lucky. We powered all the lights down and waited, watching to see what kind of predator just tried to make a meal out of us. People think there's prehistoric sharks and shit down there. HA! Those ancient fuckers would be scared shitless by the reality. Anyways.
After a few minutes of silence, we decided to go ahead and turn our lights back on. What we saw. Man. I don't even want to say. Another drink you say? Don't mind if I do! Thank you kindly sir! So...we turned the lights on and realized we were stuck in something. It was gelatinous and cloudy, and it stretched as far as our lights could show. It took us multiple attempts to extract our craft from it. Man, we really thought we were gonna die down there, like a mouse in a glue trap. I kinda wish I had, what we saw is enough to make a man drink to his death. Once we got a few meters away from the substructure we turned our lights to it. I know this is gonna be hard to believe, hell, I saw it with my own two eyes and I hardly believe it myself. It was an eye. It spanned as far as we could see. I see you shaking your head, I don't blame you. We didn't believe what we saw either, but then this big wall came rushing at us and we went up enough to avoid it. It was this thing's EYELID! It was so huge we couldn't see the end of it, but we knew we had to go up enough to avoid it hitting us. We started our ascent, we were TOTALLY done with this shit. As we went up we saw what could only be the iris of the eye turning towards us. Let me tell you, grown men can scream high enough to damn near shatter your ear drums.
We almost screwed up, we nearly lost our sanity and just rushed to the surface. Luckily my main man Jeff came to his senses and stopped us. Still had the bends for WEEKS from the distance we got to before we filled the ballast tanks with water and stopped ourselves. That was fun. Feels like you're dying, like your bones are trying to escape your body. Never felt pain like that before. That was...yeah that was rough. Most of us wanted to die it hurt so bad. But I'm getting off track. Whatever, never gonna happen again, you can bet your ass I'm not getting in the water again. Nah, NASA has the right of it. Space is where we need to be going. We need to get off this planet. That thing down there....it was so gigantic, it was literally bigger than any continent. I don't know about you, but I know I'm curious about where it's second eye is, assuming it has two. I know you think this is just the ramblings of a drunk fool, and you'd be half right, but I think what we saw that day was the eye of the world. I think it's watching us and finding us wanting. I don't want to be here when it decides we aren't worth the air we breathe. No, NASA knows what's down there, and they're itching to find us a new planet. Hopefully one without eyes. I just hope they find it soon enough to get me off this rock. Now, how about another drink?