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Daughter's behavior worsening after preschool
2024.05.14 23:27 dontlookmeuppp Daughter's behavior worsening after preschool
So my daughter is 4, has severe autism, and is nonverbal. I don't know what to do anymore and I feel like a failure as a parent. I don't want to compare but all her peers seem to be developmentally ahead.
I noticed her behavior has worsened significantly after attending preschool for 4 months. On the weekends/days where she doesn't have school, her mood and behavior is significantly better.
She's delayed compared to her peers. She needs to be held and "babied" more and is very cautious and fearful. Even now, she needs to be on my lap on the swings and slide. She runs away when there are other kids at the playground and constantly tries to take people's food. I don't want to coddle her but there's no way for her to properly communicate her needs and she doesn't listen (most likely PDA). I feel that she might need to be taken out of school to focus on ST, OT, and ABA instead. Then she can attend school or be homeschooled.
Has anyone else gone through something similar with their kids?
submitted by dontlookmeuppp to Autism_Parenting [link] [comments]
I noticed her behavior has worsened significantly after attending preschool for 4 months. On the weekends/days where she doesn't have school, her mood and behavior is significantly better.
She's delayed compared to her peers. She needs to be held and "babied" more and is very cautious and fearful. Even now, she needs to be on my lap on the swings and slide. She runs away when there are other kids at the playground and constantly tries to take people's food. I don't want to coddle her but there's no way for her to properly communicate her needs and she doesn't listen (most likely PDA). I feel that she might need to be taken out of school to focus on ST, OT, and ABA instead. Then she can attend school or be homeschooled.
Has anyone else gone through something similar with their kids?
2024.05.14 23:22 Newtsaet La Belle Tonki's Ma-Po Tofu Poutine
 | Okay, so hear me out before typing an offended response ; submitted by Newtsaet to recipescopycat [link] [comments] I live in Montreal and there's a restaurant here called la Belle Tonki that made a Ma-Po Tofu Poutine during Poutine Week (a yearly celebration of poutine in which restaurants create new, funky recipes of poutine). I think they won last year with their kimchi poutine which I didn't try, so this year I went and tried the ma-po one, being a big fan of the original sichuanese dish. It was good as far as poutine goes, but for something "ma-po", it was very disappointing. Nothing close to the classic mala taste that I was yearning for. For context, I come from Singapore and near my auntie's place there's a chinese restaurant that makes probably one of the best ma-po doufu of chinatown, if not the whole planet. Their sauce is spicy, numbing, and fragrant with huge undertones of ginger and chili bean. The La Belle Tonki ma-po tofu poutine was nowhere near close to that, tasting more like a regular, american-style ma-po laddered onto fries and cheese instsead of rice, and that was about it. So I tried to make my own version of the fusion dish myself. Here is my first try : First, knife-cut fries. The potatoes I had where small yellow baby potatoes, so I cut them in wedges instead of sticks. Boil them for 5 minutes in water, then mix with a bit of oil, salt, pepper and garlic powder and then 400F in the air-fryer for 15 minutes. Alternatively, i guess you could do 20 minutes in the oven too. Ma-po : so there's a lot of different takes on ma-po. Each chinese auntie and grandma will have her own recipe, with sligh variations. But basically, you need doubanjiang (豆瓣酱), that we find under the name pixian douban in Canada, sometimes labeled as "Chili red bean paste" or something like that. If you can, avoid the Lee Kum Kee one. it's personal preference but I don't find it as good as other brands. You also absolutely need sichuan peppercorn. I think it was missing in the Belle Tonki's recipe, which is unfortunate because I can't imagine ma-po without those. You then need ground pork, garlic and ginger. For the "poutine" side of the dish, you need cheese curds (I actually have no idea what kind of cheese it is. Here in Canada you can buy a bag of cheese curds in every convenience store, but I guess if you need a sub, then any kind of hard, white cheese could do the job), and for the gravy I actually use a mix of tahini with a reduction of beef stock. Finely chop garlic and ginger and set aside. In a pot of boiling water, add 1 tbsp of white vinegar and your tofu. Now the kind of tofu here depends on taste, but traditional (to my knowledge) are usually silken tofu or soft-medium tofu. You can cut it in cubes before the boiling too. The vinegar helps keep the tofu and prevent it from breaking, while also getting rid of the soury taste when it comes out of its water. I boil the tofu for 10 minutes on medium heat, and then strain and cover in cold water until I add it to the dish. In your wok, high heat and go in with 1 tbsp of sichuan peppercorn (or according to your own taste. I like it very peppery). when it starts to smell like heaven and the peppercorns leave behind small splatters of oil you can put in a mortar and coarsely pound. In the wok again, put 1 tbsp of neutral-tasting oil (I use peanut oil), then fry a small amount of ground pork (not really weighing my own portions since I eat alone, but my guess is it's rougly 90-110grams) until it releases its fat (around 6 minutes). Then go in with the garlic and ginger until fragrant (1-2 minutes). At this point I like to add some chinese cooking wine (shaoxing) but I guess it can be skipped if you don't have that in your pantry. When the pork is cooked (and the wine eventually reduced), push it on the side of the wok and in the fat go in with 1 tbsp of doubanjiang (careful for the splatter, the red stains might be hard to remove!) and your grounded sichuan peppercorn. Fry for half-a-minute then combine with the meat, and add 1/4 to 1/2 cup of chicken stock. Reduce, and when there's only like 1 to 2 tbsp of sauce left you can add your tofu and continue to cook for 5 minutes, at that point you can turn off the heat. Now, assembly. Get your fries in a bowl, sprinkle cheese curds on top. For the sauce/gravy, that's where I differ from the traditional poutine gravy. I put 1/2 tbsp of tahini in a bowl, along with one clove of grated garlic, a spoon of chili oil and a spoon of sesame oil, then 1/4 cup of beef bouillon (concentrated ? reduced ? I don't really know the exact name). And then 1 teaspoon of sugar and mix well. When pour your sauce onto the fries, and finish with the mapo and a lethal quantity of green onions. Et voilà! A fusion dish that actually got me very skeptic at first when I heard about it, and while it was disappointing in the restaurant as I said, it was interesting enough to make me try to copycat it. For those who went along until the end, thanks for reading and I hope this little story got you at least entertained, if not interested in trying this out for yourselves :) PS: on my picture, there's a little bit too much sauce. It drowned the mapo a bit, so next time I'll put in a bit less sauce (I actually made more than what I indicated in the recipe). Also this picture sucks. I don't know how to properly photograph food https://preview.redd.it/w6yfc28ohg0d1.jpg?width=809&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cdee3674a2c0d2bd8aeef653e3ecc0347e14a397 PPS: also does anyone know if it's authorized to post a link to this post in montreal or other subreddits? Wanted to share this recipe with Montreal's foodie community, but because it is a copycat recipe from a restaurant I thought it fits better here first. |
2024.05.14 23:13 The_Cryptoba Scammers! What to Look Out For! (Helpful for all, Especially Beginners)
 | Woah! Scammers?Is what you might be saying.Of course, wherever and whenever. There are scammers which you should take in mind and always give a dirty eye to everything! Admins PMing YouOf course, sometimes they are the real admins, but keep in mind that anyone can just copy and paste a whole new account and act like an admin. Or just blatantly put "admins support" and a generic picture.Wallet Synchronization or Verification(Common Scam)A lot of scammers contact people who may have lost their tokens already, have problems with a swap and more over scared.These scammers take advantage! Of course, Synchronizing a wallet is absolute, BS from these scammers. Here's a Real Life Example Someone approaches you can says, "Please Hand Over Your Wallet, It Needs To Be Synchronized." Of course you wouldn't trust anyone with your wallet. You would respond with "Get Away From Me!" Of course this goes the same online. They will send a link to a very scammy site and it even looks unfinished. They tell you to connect your wallet. Of course, you see the option and you click wallet connect, or Coin base for example. None of these options work. They tell you, "Oh is just site issues! Please connect your wallet manually" They tell you to insert your 12 word phrase or private key so that it can work. It Never Does What actually happens is a message pops up saying. "Try again later" What actually happened is that they store your private key and/or phrase and they will pull it up on their end and ransack your money. Awful isn't it? Mostly, these scammers originate from Nigeria or Lagos. Believe me! I had a scammer wanting some eth to be able to cash their USDT and they would give me a cut. I did my magic and was able to snatch their information and Ip address and their information. Ran away like Babies. Well, that's an insult to babies but you get what I mean. Withdrawal ScamsThis type of scam usually happens when a victim asks how to withdraw.A scammer goes to them and says they need to send it to their phone number. (Usually via Telegram) and the victim sees this and thinks that it works. Keep in mind that your username can be anything, it doesn't matter if it linked to something or not So scammers take advantage of that. They might even try to make you send to a weird address like for instance Sweat withdraw or something. Then they make you think your are withdrawing that way and they make sure to withdraw everything from you. Once they are done they will proceed to their next targets and block you. Nice Doesn't Mean Good 😈Don't be guilt tripped by a scammers way of talking to you.Saying that, you are their friend and possibly even more. They are being nice for a reason! Don't click on links given by other people. They might be to shady exchange which they will want you to send funds too. Plus make sure to do your research on an exchange that was suggested to you. Don't go through, blinded. Begging Scams 🙏❤️ 😢Begging scams (especially in crypto) are more abundant.People will beg for you to send funds to them because they are sick or have nothing. Or might even want you to take out a loan for them. They are scammers! No matter if their "kids" are going to starve. If it were real. They wouldn't be searching on Reddit for food. Makes sense? Private Key ScamsYour private key is the most important thing to securing your crypto funds. It's basically a password for your funds and sending it to anyone. Well, it's up to their morals. They won't hesitate to steal.If someone asks you to send a Private key and insisting it's important so that they can help you. Make sure to block and report them. Stay Safe !!! Happy Sweating, The_Cryptographer 😊 |
2024.05.14 23:12 one_day_at_noon The child I raised told me I’ll never understand what it’s like to be a mother
TRIGGER WARNINGS: a lot of them
My sister was an irresponsible teen mom with mental illness. To sum it up she would get pregnant any time a boyfriend and her were in trouble of breaking up.
This process started when I was 13. She promptly abandoned the baby to my parents who were in their early 40s and gave 0Fs. They put taking care of the baby completely on me, because “she only sleeps for you”, “you’re such a good babysitter!”, “I just can’t now!”. So my sister would take off for months and leave the baby, my parents would take off for days and leave us. I’d go to school, come home, and care for an infant. By the time I was 21 my sister had repeated the process 2 more times. She’d spend perhaps a two weeks every year with her children so she could illegally file for child support and food stamps.
The rest of the time? I raised her children. I was the sole provider for my family. My 3 nieces and my 2 now disabled parents. Every dollar I made went to giving the girls a blessed life. I dropped out of college to take care of them and started a small business. Every day from the time I woke up to till bedtime baths and stories, I was caring for them. When they were sick? I took them to the hospital. I taught them to read, write, bath, walk, talk. (Due to poverty and issues with my parents I was never able to file for custody- aunts don’t have rights in most states even though my sister had abandoned them, my parents refused to file for custody in any way- it was, a mess, but I stayed for them).
In time tragedy stuck, my sister began blackmailing us to keep the children. It was a disaster I was too naive and young to see coming. At 14, after returning for visiting her mum, my niece attempted suicide (I wasn’t aware she had been abused while with her mum). I had to BRIBE her mother to stay with her in the hospital because the hospital refused to allow me to stay with her. I took her to therapy but her mom insisted she be removed and she still had rights. Her school thought it was a result of bullying.
Years later while with their mother for 4 days, my sister hit my niece. It was caught on video, my nieces were taken by CPS, and because they were across state lines at the time I had to fight the legal system to get them placed with me. It took 3 years, $60k, and it bankrupted me. I made weekly trips to see my eldest niece in foster care. Across state lines this was nearly 800 a week for 3 years.
My sister surrendered my other nieces to their father and blackmailed me to keep fighting to get her own children back with the promise of finally signing over rights. Eventually she got my eldest niece back. She convinced the girl to stay with her so “she could be a real mom!”. Cps said she wanted to go with her mum and so my family placement case was closed. She lived with her a year. That ended HORRIFICALLY. In the end my sister SOLD her paternal rights to my parents to allow my niece to come home and live with us. The trauma from my sister and the system had broken my niece. My niece admitted her mum had been abusive nearly every time they’d ever seen eachother (even exposing her to drugs and during that year to being SAed) but she had never told me out of the hope someday her mum would really love her. Even with therapy she was so broken. She hurt herself again and again. I went half mad unable to help her, depression was overwhelming. Every other day we were at the hospital or therapist. Every month she’d be hospitalized for a suicide attempt and I’d sit with her in the hospital holding her hand while we waited. I’d excuse myself to hide in the hospital bathroom and sob I unable to help her.
So many ambulances, so many medicines, so many doctors, so many 4am phone calls, so many horrors. Eventually she refused medication and started using drugs. I begged her to go to rehab, I tried so hard to help her and support her in every way I could. Her life was spiraling. She became pregnant and addicted to meth, she became violent and unstable. It was a horrifying year. Eventually, after she assaulted a cop, I told her enough. She had to stop. I wouldn’t support her anymore. She would go to rehab or she was no longer welcomed in my home.
She was 18. She left and went to live with a new boyfriend. Eventually she got clean with him, lost rights to her baby with CPS involvement and got pregnant again refusing to consider birth control implants. After she got clean she began speaking to me again. I’m struggling with her pregnancy as I know she’s not fully recovered, nor stable enough to raise a child, nor mature. But I am proud she is clean and trying to gather herself together again, even if she won’t go to rehab/therapy as I’ve begged. The other day we were driving and she said this:
“You will never understand what it’s like to be a mother. I knew the moment I had my baby (the one she lost due to meth use) it’s just completely different connection. You’re JUST an aunt. You have no idea what it’s like to be a mother, you’ve never had kids and never will” and something in me just split in 2. I told her I never want to silence her emotions or invalidate her opinions but I needed a bit of silence and didn’t want to speak the rest of the trip. I dropped her at her apt, went home and cried. I’m in my mid 30s now and I’ve spent 20 years taking care of another woman’s children (minus the years my poor niece spent in foster care). So much tragedy. I blame myself completely for not knowing my sister was hurting my eldest niece, it’s my fault my nieces were lost. My fault they suffered. When they were lost I went to therapy to handle the grief. I couldn’t look at a child without sobbing. I realized I would never have my own children. I’ve never recovered from losing my nieces, never forgiven myself for their suffering. I failed them so terribly.
Her words just haunt me. She isn’t wrong, I’m not her mother and never will be, even though I’ve raised her since I was 13 and she was an infant.
submitted by one_day_at_noon to LifeAdvice [link] [comments]
My sister was an irresponsible teen mom with mental illness. To sum it up she would get pregnant any time a boyfriend and her were in trouble of breaking up.
This process started when I was 13. She promptly abandoned the baby to my parents who were in their early 40s and gave 0Fs. They put taking care of the baby completely on me, because “she only sleeps for you”, “you’re such a good babysitter!”, “I just can’t now!”. So my sister would take off for months and leave the baby, my parents would take off for days and leave us. I’d go to school, come home, and care for an infant. By the time I was 21 my sister had repeated the process 2 more times. She’d spend perhaps a two weeks every year with her children so she could illegally file for child support and food stamps.
The rest of the time? I raised her children. I was the sole provider for my family. My 3 nieces and my 2 now disabled parents. Every dollar I made went to giving the girls a blessed life. I dropped out of college to take care of them and started a small business. Every day from the time I woke up to till bedtime baths and stories, I was caring for them. When they were sick? I took them to the hospital. I taught them to read, write, bath, walk, talk. (Due to poverty and issues with my parents I was never able to file for custody- aunts don’t have rights in most states even though my sister had abandoned them, my parents refused to file for custody in any way- it was, a mess, but I stayed for them).
In time tragedy stuck, my sister began blackmailing us to keep the children. It was a disaster I was too naive and young to see coming. At 14, after returning for visiting her mum, my niece attempted suicide (I wasn’t aware she had been abused while with her mum). I had to BRIBE her mother to stay with her in the hospital because the hospital refused to allow me to stay with her. I took her to therapy but her mom insisted she be removed and she still had rights. Her school thought it was a result of bullying.
Years later while with their mother for 4 days, my sister hit my niece. It was caught on video, my nieces were taken by CPS, and because they were across state lines at the time I had to fight the legal system to get them placed with me. It took 3 years, $60k, and it bankrupted me. I made weekly trips to see my eldest niece in foster care. Across state lines this was nearly 800 a week for 3 years.
My sister surrendered my other nieces to their father and blackmailed me to keep fighting to get her own children back with the promise of finally signing over rights. Eventually she got my eldest niece back. She convinced the girl to stay with her so “she could be a real mom!”. Cps said she wanted to go with her mum and so my family placement case was closed. She lived with her a year. That ended HORRIFICALLY. In the end my sister SOLD her paternal rights to my parents to allow my niece to come home and live with us. The trauma from my sister and the system had broken my niece. My niece admitted her mum had been abusive nearly every time they’d ever seen eachother (even exposing her to drugs and during that year to being SAed) but she had never told me out of the hope someday her mum would really love her. Even with therapy she was so broken. She hurt herself again and again. I went half mad unable to help her, depression was overwhelming. Every other day we were at the hospital or therapist. Every month she’d be hospitalized for a suicide attempt and I’d sit with her in the hospital holding her hand while we waited. I’d excuse myself to hide in the hospital bathroom and sob I unable to help her.
So many ambulances, so many medicines, so many doctors, so many 4am phone calls, so many horrors. Eventually she refused medication and started using drugs. I begged her to go to rehab, I tried so hard to help her and support her in every way I could. Her life was spiraling. She became pregnant and addicted to meth, she became violent and unstable. It was a horrifying year. Eventually, after she assaulted a cop, I told her enough. She had to stop. I wouldn’t support her anymore. She would go to rehab or she was no longer welcomed in my home.
She was 18. She left and went to live with a new boyfriend. Eventually she got clean with him, lost rights to her baby with CPS involvement and got pregnant again refusing to consider birth control implants. After she got clean she began speaking to me again. I’m struggling with her pregnancy as I know she’s not fully recovered, nor stable enough to raise a child, nor mature. But I am proud she is clean and trying to gather herself together again, even if she won’t go to rehab/therapy as I’ve begged. The other day we were driving and she said this:
“You will never understand what it’s like to be a mother. I knew the moment I had my baby (the one she lost due to meth use) it’s just completely different connection. You’re JUST an aunt. You have no idea what it’s like to be a mother, you’ve never had kids and never will” and something in me just split in 2. I told her I never want to silence her emotions or invalidate her opinions but I needed a bit of silence and didn’t want to speak the rest of the trip. I dropped her at her apt, went home and cried. I’m in my mid 30s now and I’ve spent 20 years taking care of another woman’s children (minus the years my poor niece spent in foster care). So much tragedy. I blame myself completely for not knowing my sister was hurting my eldest niece, it’s my fault my nieces were lost. My fault they suffered. When they were lost I went to therapy to handle the grief. I couldn’t look at a child without sobbing. I realized I would never have my own children. I’ve never recovered from losing my nieces, never forgiven myself for their suffering. I failed them so terribly.
Her words just haunt me. She isn’t wrong, I’m not her mother and never will be, even though I’ve raised her since I was 13 and she was an infant.
2024.05.14 23:10 ronracer Is There something wrong with Dogs eating Corn
Hi animal nutritionist here!
Lets chat about corn
Corn as an ingredient is a hot button topic. But why? the short answer is because its cheap. But does being cheap mean its bad? Not necessarily. Corn is a grass. So its abundant and grows extremely fast. This makes it inherently cheaper than the same amount of meat.
But then why do so many people believe corn is bad? Thats a little more convoluted...
The main reason is marketing. in the 70s and 80s corn was used as a filler to cut corners. Companies marketing food as beef or chicken would then turn around and use corn as a filler knowing that the average consumer does not actually read the labels. When this practice was finally brought to light the antithesis to this was the "meat first" mantra. The thought being that if we all pay more attention to the labels and understand FDA regulations we can weed out the companies doing such shady practice. This forced many companies to use better and higher quality ingredients. Of course this also made food more expensive.
Corn as a nutrient, when compared to beef, has much higher levels of polysatuated fats such as omega-3. It also has a broader profile of amino acids. But, even with a broad profile, corn still has little protein, virtually no calcium or phosphorus, and very little iron, and Vitamin B. Which Beef will have in plenty.
So is corn bad for pets?
As an ingredient a part of a complete diet, No.
Should it be the main ingredient in an animals diet?
Debatable... So lets discuss!
submitted by ronracer to PetFoodChat [link] [comments]
Lets chat about corn
Corn as an ingredient is a hot button topic. But why? the short answer is because its cheap. But does being cheap mean its bad? Not necessarily. Corn is a grass. So its abundant and grows extremely fast. This makes it inherently cheaper than the same amount of meat.
But then why do so many people believe corn is bad? Thats a little more convoluted...
The main reason is marketing. in the 70s and 80s corn was used as a filler to cut corners. Companies marketing food as beef or chicken would then turn around and use corn as a filler knowing that the average consumer does not actually read the labels. When this practice was finally brought to light the antithesis to this was the "meat first" mantra. The thought being that if we all pay more attention to the labels and understand FDA regulations we can weed out the companies doing such shady practice. This forced many companies to use better and higher quality ingredients. Of course this also made food more expensive.
Corn as a nutrient, when compared to beef, has much higher levels of polysatuated fats such as omega-3. It also has a broader profile of amino acids. But, even with a broad profile, corn still has little protein, virtually no calcium or phosphorus, and very little iron, and Vitamin B. Which Beef will have in plenty.
So is corn bad for pets?
As an ingredient a part of a complete diet, No.
Should it be the main ingredient in an animals diet?
Debatable... So lets discuss!
2024.05.14 23:07 Funny_Effect_9239 AITA for telling my SIL her pregnancy announcement was jarring?
Okay so a little background- My husband and I (28F and 32M) have been together and married for 9 years, we have just welcomed our baby girl last July- the first grand baby of both families, everyone was thrilled. Our baby recieves a lot of attention from my husband’s parents since we live around the corner from them.
I have a sister in law, Camie (26). She LOVES kids and has voiced how much she would love a baby. Camie and her boyfriend have some issues. They always complain to her parents about how they can never afford things, leaving my inlaws to foot the bill, such as: a lawn mower, getting their dog spayed, patio furniture & a vacation to mexico.
There are a couple people that voiced concern about them starting a family.. Her dad- my FIL, has been adiment about her boyfriend getting serious about their relationship first (putting a ring on it), before they think about having a child. Camie agreed, but stated that it will be a while before they got married as it would be expensive. Her sister, my other SIL- has been hearing up and down about their issues/fights. It seems that every other week they are split up for a day or two before reconnecting. We hardly see Camie’s boyfriend as they usually get into a fight before she makes the trip over to where we live, so he doesn’t come with her.
A couple of months ago Camie asked me what I thought of her having a baby since she was lonely at home. I did not lie, I said I didn’t think it was the best idea since her boyfriend is hardly around, both work wise and emotionally. Plus, they have only been together for a little over a year. Skip to last week, Camie comes to visit us with her boyfriend. She gathers us all at the table for a ‘family photo’ before her boyfriend says ‘Sayyy…. Camie’s pregnant!’ As he takes a video. Her sister, with a straight face says “is this a joke?”. Her father, frowns through his smile and looks down at the ground. My husband, shakes his head and walks away. I, put on a huge smile and say Oh my gosh congratulations!. We all gather ourselves up to wish her congratulations, but there are clear bad vibes going on. She doesn’t notice.
Camie, Upon reviewing the video, texted me, very upset that her announcement video was a dud and that her family was not supportive. She was upset, stating, how could everyone be so excited for me? And not for her?. I told her, that everyone might not be super excited at first and that’s okay, it’s just a bit jarring to hear this news.
Camie name calls me and her family a bunch of a holes who don’t respect her decision as a grown woman.
AITA for telling her the pregnancy wasn’t exactly wanted by everyone? Or does she deserve the flack
submitted by Funny_Effect_9239 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
I have a sister in law, Camie (26). She LOVES kids and has voiced how much she would love a baby. Camie and her boyfriend have some issues. They always complain to her parents about how they can never afford things, leaving my inlaws to foot the bill, such as: a lawn mower, getting their dog spayed, patio furniture & a vacation to mexico.
There are a couple people that voiced concern about them starting a family.. Her dad- my FIL, has been adiment about her boyfriend getting serious about their relationship first (putting a ring on it), before they think about having a child. Camie agreed, but stated that it will be a while before they got married as it would be expensive. Her sister, my other SIL- has been hearing up and down about their issues/fights. It seems that every other week they are split up for a day or two before reconnecting. We hardly see Camie’s boyfriend as they usually get into a fight before she makes the trip over to where we live, so he doesn’t come with her.
A couple of months ago Camie asked me what I thought of her having a baby since she was lonely at home. I did not lie, I said I didn’t think it was the best idea since her boyfriend is hardly around, both work wise and emotionally. Plus, they have only been together for a little over a year. Skip to last week, Camie comes to visit us with her boyfriend. She gathers us all at the table for a ‘family photo’ before her boyfriend says ‘Sayyy…. Camie’s pregnant!’ As he takes a video. Her sister, with a straight face says “is this a joke?”. Her father, frowns through his smile and looks down at the ground. My husband, shakes his head and walks away. I, put on a huge smile and say Oh my gosh congratulations!. We all gather ourselves up to wish her congratulations, but there are clear bad vibes going on. She doesn’t notice.
Camie, Upon reviewing the video, texted me, very upset that her announcement video was a dud and that her family was not supportive. She was upset, stating, how could everyone be so excited for me? And not for her?. I told her, that everyone might not be super excited at first and that’s okay, it’s just a bit jarring to hear this news.
Camie name calls me and her family a bunch of a holes who don’t respect her decision as a grown woman.
AITA for telling her the pregnancy wasn’t exactly wanted by everyone? Or does she deserve the flack
2024.05.14 23:03 Appalachia9841 Capped queen cell, attempted to do a split but couldn’t find the queen - chances of success?
Not too stressed over this but would like anyone’s insight:
I have a super strong colony that I’d been leaving alone as much as possible as I kept seeing fresh eggs, great population, great food stores, etc.
Did a full inspection today & found two capped queen cells in the middle of frames. So, I assume supercedure, but there are 5+ frames of brood, fresh larvae, and though no eggs, I am confused why they’d replace a very strong queen. In fact, she’s a new queen that they reared themselves in mid-March. They’re a bit honey bound and ignoring the frames of foundation, so that’s one issue. (All of this has prompted me to purchase some old drawn comb from a beek friend.)
Anyway - so I see these cells and I get to work finding the queen to do a split, leaving both queen cells in the original hive. One problem: after looking so so hard, I can’t find the queen. I know queens will usually swarm the same day as a cell is capped and maybe she’s already gone, but I actually doubt it as the weather has been so overcast. In fact, today is overcast but we have 7+ days of rain predicted starting tomorrow so I wanted to get into the hives before then.
So this is what I did: (1) left the two capped queen cells and the bulk of the colony with the donor hive. (2) the brood chamber was a deep with a medium on top. I added a medium with foundation between the boxes and added a queen excluder. The hive is situated like this: bottom board, deep brood chamber, Queen excluder, empty medium with frames, medium with brood, inner cover, cover. Hoping that this dissuades the colony from swarming - let me know if you think this is a mistake. (3) I took two frames of brood with nurse bees and one frame of food and put them in a nuc. There are no eggs, and little larvae so if the queen isn’t with them, they unfortunately don’t have anything to start a queen cell with. (4) moved the nuc to a different yard and will let them settle in.
My plan from here: (1) open the donor hive in the near future to see about this new Queen situation - when do you all recommend? (2) inspect the nuc in a week and see how they’re doing population-wise and see if there are any eggs/larvae, indicating whether the queen was with them and I just missed her. If there are no eggs/larvae, give them a frame of eggs from another hive and let them rear one. I’ll have to baby them for a few weeks but that’s fine.
Thoughts? Sorry for such a long post. 🐝
submitted by Appalachia9841 to Beekeeping [link] [comments]
I have a super strong colony that I’d been leaving alone as much as possible as I kept seeing fresh eggs, great population, great food stores, etc.
Did a full inspection today & found two capped queen cells in the middle of frames. So, I assume supercedure, but there are 5+ frames of brood, fresh larvae, and though no eggs, I am confused why they’d replace a very strong queen. In fact, she’s a new queen that they reared themselves in mid-March. They’re a bit honey bound and ignoring the frames of foundation, so that’s one issue. (All of this has prompted me to purchase some old drawn comb from a beek friend.)
Anyway - so I see these cells and I get to work finding the queen to do a split, leaving both queen cells in the original hive. One problem: after looking so so hard, I can’t find the queen. I know queens will usually swarm the same day as a cell is capped and maybe she’s already gone, but I actually doubt it as the weather has been so overcast. In fact, today is overcast but we have 7+ days of rain predicted starting tomorrow so I wanted to get into the hives before then.
So this is what I did: (1) left the two capped queen cells and the bulk of the colony with the donor hive. (2) the brood chamber was a deep with a medium on top. I added a medium with foundation between the boxes and added a queen excluder. The hive is situated like this: bottom board, deep brood chamber, Queen excluder, empty medium with frames, medium with brood, inner cover, cover. Hoping that this dissuades the colony from swarming - let me know if you think this is a mistake. (3) I took two frames of brood with nurse bees and one frame of food and put them in a nuc. There are no eggs, and little larvae so if the queen isn’t with them, they unfortunately don’t have anything to start a queen cell with. (4) moved the nuc to a different yard and will let them settle in.
My plan from here: (1) open the donor hive in the near future to see about this new Queen situation - when do you all recommend? (2) inspect the nuc in a week and see how they’re doing population-wise and see if there are any eggs/larvae, indicating whether the queen was with them and I just missed her. If there are no eggs/larvae, give them a frame of eggs from another hive and let them rear one. I’ll have to baby them for a few weeks but that’s fine.
Thoughts? Sorry for such a long post. 🐝
2024.05.14 23:02 SweetieK1515 When they do this, is it a power trip?
What I’m about to say is honestly not that bad. It’s actually “better” since my husband started speaking up. MILs tend to play these weird mind games and most of what I’ve read on here is what I’ve been through. 2 recent instances where she passively excludes me and I honestly wonder if she gets off on it or if she genuinely forgets (probably the first option haha)
Scenario 1: Husband and I invited the in laws to our house for dinner. She decided to FaceTime her daughter so she can see the grandkids. She acknowledges my FIL and my husband….and not me. Husband takes actions by saying, “mom, can I see your phone?” and gives me her phone to say hi to our nieces and nephews haha husband thinks MIL is jealous bc there was an occurrence where our niece verbally said she preferred to sit next to me and not her grandma. Since then, MIL has had an “issue” with me
Scenario 2: On Mother’s Day, my husband didn’t make any plans with his mom or even thought to get her anything. I suggested we get flowers and stop by to spend time with her. I think we got her favorite dessert, too. We get there and she FaceTimes her daughter again and says, “look what Bobby got me for Mother’s Day!” Husband steps in right away and says, “Linda and I both got this for you.” She laughs it off and says, “Linda, it was probably your idea anyway muahaha”. Like was that really necessary? Who cares whose idea it is. Honestly, stuff like that used to bother me but since my husband stepped up, it really doesn’t phase me. I’ve noticed he doesn’t really like talking about his mother’s behavior. The only thing I got was, “sorry my parents are a-holes and I don’t think my mom realizes how jealous she looks.” I responded back looking completely detached and shrugged.
I honestly don’t know if she does it out of loneliness , insecurity, boredom. Maybe I should just label her as an immature adult to make it easier in my head.
I also read something here that was profound- woman felt left out from mother in law and sister in law for so many years. Then she had a baby and suddenly SIL and MIL felt left out.
submitted by SweetieK1515 to motherinlawsfromhell [link] [comments]
Scenario 1: Husband and I invited the in laws to our house for dinner. She decided to FaceTime her daughter so she can see the grandkids. She acknowledges my FIL and my husband….and not me. Husband takes actions by saying, “mom, can I see your phone?” and gives me her phone to say hi to our nieces and nephews haha husband thinks MIL is jealous bc there was an occurrence where our niece verbally said she preferred to sit next to me and not her grandma. Since then, MIL has had an “issue” with me
Scenario 2: On Mother’s Day, my husband didn’t make any plans with his mom or even thought to get her anything. I suggested we get flowers and stop by to spend time with her. I think we got her favorite dessert, too. We get there and she FaceTimes her daughter again and says, “look what Bobby got me for Mother’s Day!” Husband steps in right away and says, “Linda and I both got this for you.” She laughs it off and says, “Linda, it was probably your idea anyway muahaha”. Like was that really necessary? Who cares whose idea it is. Honestly, stuff like that used to bother me but since my husband stepped up, it really doesn’t phase me. I’ve noticed he doesn’t really like talking about his mother’s behavior. The only thing I got was, “sorry my parents are a-holes and I don’t think my mom realizes how jealous she looks.” I responded back looking completely detached and shrugged.
I honestly don’t know if she does it out of loneliness , insecurity, boredom. Maybe I should just label her as an immature adult to make it easier in my head.
I also read something here that was profound- woman felt left out from mother in law and sister in law for so many years. Then she had a baby and suddenly SIL and MIL felt left out.
2024.05.14 22:56 the_mom_ 10 month old is just a terrible eater
I don’t know what to try next. Please help me with some tips.
My baby does not want to eat solids nor drink milk. She gets 2-3 bites per meal if we are lucky, and gets maximum 3 bottles of milk a day (morning, midday, before sleep).
In the kindergarten she refuses to eat and drink almost anything. Furthermore she is doing amazing there and at home.
She seems her happy self, social, and developing well. She sleeps well too.
I am scared because two months ago on the last check up her growing curve in length and weight had significantly dropped. We have the next check up in two weeks and I am already very anxious for it.
From milk I have tried breastmilk, cow-based formula, goat-based formula, different brands… from food I have tried solids, pureed, that she eats herself, that I feed her, at the dinner table, in the stroller…
I am also worried at creating bad habits and picky eater by pushing onto her and feeding her at other places but the dinner table.
Do you have tips? Thank you!
submitted by the_mom_ to NewParents [link] [comments]
My baby does not want to eat solids nor drink milk. She gets 2-3 bites per meal if we are lucky, and gets maximum 3 bottles of milk a day (morning, midday, before sleep).
In the kindergarten she refuses to eat and drink almost anything. Furthermore she is doing amazing there and at home.
She seems her happy self, social, and developing well. She sleeps well too.
I am scared because two months ago on the last check up her growing curve in length and weight had significantly dropped. We have the next check up in two weeks and I am already very anxious for it.
From milk I have tried breastmilk, cow-based formula, goat-based formula, different brands… from food I have tried solids, pureed, that she eats herself, that I feed her, at the dinner table, in the stroller…
I am also worried at creating bad habits and picky eater by pushing onto her and feeding her at other places but the dinner table.
Do you have tips? Thank you!
2024.05.14 22:53 uninvitedthirteenth Travel Diary: Amsterdam, May 2-May 8
Travel Diary: I make $195,000 and spent $2149.75 (+49k points) while on a trip to Amsterdam
Section One: Bio
Age: 40
Occupation: Lawyer
Hometown: DC
Number of PTO days and how you accrue them: I earn 6 hours of annual leave every two weeks (19 days total a year), and used 36 hours for this trip
Section Two: Assets + Debt
Not super comfortable with a very detailed financial picture, but my NW is ~$750k. No SO.
Section Three: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: After all deductions and contributions to savings, my monthly take home is ~$6200
Section Four: Travel Expenses/Diary
Trip planning - My (40F) best friend from college (39F) and I decide to go to Amsterdam on a birthday trip. We both turn 40 in 2024, and we decide to go in May because it's in between our birthdays and because it'll be tulip season in Amsterdam! Neither of us have been. We also haven't travelled together before, despite being friends for 20(!) years, so we are a little apprehensive, although we have spent a lot of time together over the past few years. We decide on a 6 day trip. For purposes of this diary I'm going to list my half of the expenses for things we split. Costs are in US dollars, despite paying using Euros. As a side note, I also am a little over one year post-Gastric Bypass, which has a limited effect on my diet (I try to eat low carb, but you'll see that I mostly fail at this on this trip!).
Pre-trip expenses: $1193.15 total
Flight: $255 + 49k points (from Capital One)
Lodging: $1425.91 (split) - $713
Rijksmuseum: $40.28
Anne Frank House: $24.95
Keukenhof Gardens plus bus ticket: $36.20
Red Light District Tour: $50.52
Day trip to windmills tour: $43.20
Snacks: $30ish
Day 1 (Total $21.17)
Our flight is at 5:30pm, so we planned to be at the airport by 3:30pm, which actually turned out to be 4pm. Uber ($21.17). After checking bags (included in flight price) and getting through security we made it to our gate right as boarding was about to start. No time for food or drinks.
On the plane I eat a snack of roasted chickpeas before dinner, which was chicken cacciatore with mashed potatoes, bread, cheesecake, cheese, and a salad. And two glasses of wine. I save the cheesecake and cheese for later.
My friend and I watch a movie (Poor Things) and then try to sleep. I am reading A Fault In Our Stars, because Amsterdam. I try unsuccessfully to sleep for awhile and then go back to reading. At some point i eat the cheese and cheesecake. Breakfast is a cheese roll, which i eat a couple bites of (OMG does all of Amsterdam have this much cheese?? - spoiler alert… yes it does!). I wish I had slept more.
Day 2 - Even though it feels like a continuation of day one. (Total $207.02)
7am - We land at 7 and then grab the bags and go through customs. Easy peasy. We are exhausted so we grab coffee at the airport before figuring out public transit ($5.10). I take out 60 euro for cash in case we need it ($65). We buy a train ticket to the central station ($6.33) and when we get there we buy a four day unlimited public transit pass ($28.44) so that we don’t have to worry about it later.
We get to the hotel at around 9am. They tell us it will cost $50 to check in early, which we opt not to do. Instead we go get breakfast and coffee at a cafe nearby ($21.20). The hotel tells us that our prepaid amount did not include city taxes, which is another $183 (my half $91.88).
11:30am - Back at the room we decide to rest for 90 minutes. Enough to catch up on sleep but not to waste the day and get more jet-lagged. After a rest we decide to walk around and get a feel for the neighborhood and do some shopping. We find a bookstore, and I buy a copy of my favorite book from high school, Tess of the D’Ubervilles with a beautiful cover and gold edges ($21.46). We also buy fries with truffle, mayo, and Parmesan at a fry shop ($3.32) (that’s all they have and they are delicious!). We also stop a grocery store and pick up a few things including yogurt, cheese, salami, apples, and an energy drink ($13.19). We have some early days planned and nothing seems to open early. It’s very cold and rainy and semi unpleasant.
6pm - We drop stuff off, bundle up, and head off to dinner and a tour of the red light district. We try to find a place that serves Snert, a Dutch pea soup, but strike out. We end up at an Asian place instead. I get chicken satay and a beer and my friend gets Indonesian soup and wine ($16.10). Our red light tour is great, but we are exhausted after and head straight home to bed. 22k steps total
Day 3 (Total $87.24)
7:30am - We have an early day planned, and have to be on a bus near the central station by 8am. I eat a yogurt and energy drink (from grocery store) for breakfast and we take public transit (covered on unlimited card) to the station. We find the right bus and head off!
First stop is the windmills, which are beautiful! I am happy we get there early because we basically have the place to ourselves. My friend gets a coffee and we both use the restroom ($1.08!). Then we head to Edam and do a walking tour there. Next stop is a clog/cheese place, which feels very touristy but they do feed us lots of cheese. I buy a cheese slicer as a souvenir ($10.81). Next stop is another small town where we have lunch at a cafe. We basically pick one at random. My friend gets fried fish and I get a ham and cheese panini and a beer ($17.30). Final stop is an artificial island town called Maarken. We do another walking tour.
2:30pm - we arrive back in Amsterdam and get let off north of the water. I grab a coffee ($3.76). We go up to the Adam lookout and take a ride on the swing off the side of the building ($25.95 for swing plus ticket to lookout). We also grab a drink and sit on a pillow watching the city from very high up, which is lovely ($6.63). On the way out I buy a reusable water bottle at the gift shop ($4.87).
After the lookout we take the tram over to a brewery at a windmill that was recommended to us by several people (including here on Reddit!). Cost was covered by the transit pass. We buy bitterballen and a small bottle of Genever (local whiskey) (paid by my friend) and a flight of beer ($16.84). We are a bit tipsy but enjoying the lovely weather.
6:30 - On the way back toward the hotel the weather turns and it starts raining so we dip into a pub for dinner. I have a burger ($16.12). We are there at 8pm, which is momentous because it’s a day of remembrance and the whole bar is silent for two minutes. It was very interesting to be there during this time.
We are exhausted by this point and go home to bed. 19k steps total for the day.
Day 4 (Total $104.33)
7am - Another early day as we have to be on a bus at 7:30 to go to Keukenhof for the tulips! (paid in advance). We wanted to take the first bus out there because we heard the crowds were bad. I eat a yogurt for breakfast and take a 5 hour energy (no cafes open this early!). We try to take public transit to the train station but didn’t realize that the trains do not run that early on a Sunday so we grab an Uber instead ($12.20). We tell the Uber driver we’re trying to catch a bus so he makes sure we find the right place and we pull up just as the bus is loading. Phew!
8:00am - we spend 5 hours in the gardens and take literally hundreds of pictures. We are glad that we get there early as the first few hours are lovely and empty. We get a coffee ($4.60) and lunch later ($25.36). By 1pm it’s getting very crowded so we start heading out. We grab the bus back to the train station.
2:30pm - We decide to go by the Rijksmuseum although not in it because we planning that later. Instead we stop off at the Van Gogh/Rijks gift shop that’s nearby. I get a couple souvenirs, including a foldable bag and a magnet ($20.44). I also get a coffee ($3.64) and my friend gets bubble tea. We sit on the hill on museumplein and people watch. After awhile it starts to get hot (we had dressed for the early morning) so we head back to the hotel to change.
5pm - we decide we are having an evening of drinking. We first grab a drink in the hotel bar because we get free vouchers for each day we choose not to have the room cleaned. Then we have dinner at an udon place, which is delicious. We have tempura, chicken katsu, and dumplings ($15.94). Then because it’s cinco de mayo we decide to have margaritas at the Mexican place near the hotel ($15.15)! Not Dutch but it’s fun. We head down the street to another bar and have a Genever cocktail called an Amsterdam mule ($9.91). I am happy with our choice of hotel because there are so many places in our neighborhood. On the way home we pass a fresh stroopwaffle place and must get in line for one ($5.92).
By then we are exhausted and head to bed. 21k steps total for the day.
Day 5 (Total $80.44)
8am - We have a slightly less early day but have tickets to the Anne Frank house at 9:15. (paid in advance). I eat some yogurt and cheese in the room before we leave. It’s walkable so we decide to head out early and grab coffee on the way. ($3.19). The house is sombering but I’m glad we did it.
11am - After the Anne Frank house we walk to the nearby cheese museum. We sample lots of cheese. I buy one cheese to take home ($15.18). We want to walk to a used bookstore, but decide to have lunch at a cafe on the way. We pick one at random. We split chicken tenders and a goat cheese and apple sandwich and I have a beer. ($15.14). The sandwich is one of the best things we have eaten. We spend about an hour in the bookstore and my friend buys one book.
3pm - We realize we are by the monkey bar (one of the oldest bars in Amsterdam that they told us about on our red light district tour). We stop in for a drink. Ok two drinks. ($12.50). We take the metro back towards the hotel and stop in at a tile store in our neighborhood so I can buy a magnet. I buy magnets from all my trips, but I like non-touristy handmade ones if I can find them, Van Gogh magnet from yesterday aside. I buy one with a windmill on it. ($14). We also stop at the grocery store for more yogurt ($3.05) and for Dutch apple pie at the cafe across the street from the hotel ($4). We get back to the hotel and have another free drink and then rest before dinner.
8pm - We go out to a Dutch restaurant for dinner. I am not super hungry from pie so I just get the snert (pea soup). My friend gets sauerkraut and potatoes. Sorry, but I thought it was pretty bland food in general. ($13.38).
We head home. It’s a lighter day, only 14k steps today.
Day 6 (Total $194.47)
8am - Today is our last full day in Amsterdam. We have planned to spend the day at the Rijksmuseum. We want to get there right when it opens for crowd reasons. We had bought “friend of the museum” passes ahead of time so that we can skip the line. I have a yogurt for breakfast and we walk to a cafe near the museum for coffee and breakfast for my friend ($3.78). The man at the cafe is very nice and we love sitting outside in the sunshine. It’s going to be a warm day!
We spend about 5 hours at the museum. We rush to see the Van goghs and the main gallery where the Rembrandts are, including The Night Watch, which is probably one of the most famous paintings in there. We had downloaded the app so we shared a pair of earbuds and listened to audio notes about many of the works (they have a number you can enter in). We take a break outside for coffee ($7.29 - i pay) and skip the line again. Totally worth it for the more expensive ticket. Around 2 we are hungry and have seen almost everything. We stop in the gift shop and I buy a ring and earring set. ($64.76). I forget to use my 10% discount for being a friend. :( I wanted a necklace too but didn’t like the ones they had there so I’ll try to find a matching piece at home.
2pm - My friend has been trying to get herring for the whole trip so we make it a point to do that. The first place is a bust so we find a little stand that sells it a 15 min walk away. We are determined, so we head there. I don’t eat fish so I get a shawarma on the way, which is terrible (cash). I throw half away. After lunch we get ice cream. I get coffee ice cream, and it makes up for the bad shawarma ($6). We also stop at the peanut butter store, which is allegedly the first in the world, and I pick up 3 small jars for my mom for Mother’s Day ($8.11). We also stop at a thrift store and i buy a dress ($21.59). At some point this day (I think), we also stop at another bookstore, and I buy a few things including a card, a couple gifts, and a book ($39.71).
6pm - After resting a bit, we get two more free drinks at the hotel and then head out to dinner. We pick another Asian place. I get an aperol spritz at dinner and we share appetizers (satay, spring rolls, and bitterballen). We also get coconut ice cream with mango sauce for dessert. All yum! ($33.03).
We get one final drink at a local bar near the hotel ($10.20) and I’m again grateful for our choice of neighborhood. Today has been all walking because our 4-day metro pass ran out yesterday. Total steps 13k.
Day 7 (Total $36.93)
8am - this our last day. The plane was supposed to leave at 1:30pm, but we get a message that it’s delayed an hour. We decide to have a leisurely breakfast. We pick a place that’s at a hotel near our hotel. I get an egg sandwich and my friend gets French toast. We both get coffee. ($15.27)
We decide to leave for the airport around 11. We walk to the central station about 20 min away, and I buy wooden tulips for my mom on the way (cash). We buy train tickets (cash) and get right on a train. We are proud of ourselves for our navigation on this trip.
12pm - we get to the airport and through security. We head to a lounge but there’s a line. We are 40th in line based on our QR code place. We decide not to wait and sit down for lunch at a random bar. I get a sausage and a beer ($20.66). We walk around some and get another message that our flight is delayed more, to 4pm. It’s finally our turn to get into the lounge at 2:30 (2 1/2 hour wait) so we go. I grab some water and a whiskey and coke but we just ate so we are not hungry. Around 3 we head to the gate. Unfortunately when we get there our flight is delayed more and will board at 4. They give us airport vouchers so we buy a book, beer, and some stroopwaffles ($1 after vouchers). We finally board and head off around 5.
On the flight we are served dinner. They have run out of chicken by the time they get to me, but eventually find one and bring it to me later. I have a wine too. I read, watch a movie, and try to sleep a little. We have a whole row of four to ourselves so we can spread out. Dinner is a French bread pizza.
8pm - We land around 7pm (love time zone math!), grab our bags, and get a taxi to my car ($27.09). I drop off my friend and get home at 8:30. I am exhausted but cuddle my cats for about an hour before going to bed. 15k steps today
After trip expenses - $225 cat sitting
Total expenses: $2149.75 (+49k points)
Flight: $255 + 49k points
Lodging: $804.88
Food/drinks: $531.38
Travel: $101.56
Activities: $221.10
Souvenirs/gifts: $ 231.93
Final parting thoughts - I think just over $2k for an almost-week long trip to Europe is a pretty comfortable number for me. I am glad I could use points for most of the flight. We definitely didn't try to cheap out on anything. We spent a lot of money drinking (neither of us drink this much usually). I hope this was helpful to anyone, and I look forward to reactions/comments!
submitted by uninvitedthirteenth to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]
Section One: Bio
Age: 40
Occupation: Lawyer
Hometown: DC
Number of PTO days and how you accrue them: I earn 6 hours of annual leave every two weeks (19 days total a year), and used 36 hours for this trip
Section Two: Assets + Debt
Not super comfortable with a very detailed financial picture, but my NW is ~$750k. No SO.
Section Three: Income
Main Job Monthly Take Home: After all deductions and contributions to savings, my monthly take home is ~$6200
Section Four: Travel Expenses/Diary
Trip planning - My (40F) best friend from college (39F) and I decide to go to Amsterdam on a birthday trip. We both turn 40 in 2024, and we decide to go in May because it's in between our birthdays and because it'll be tulip season in Amsterdam! Neither of us have been. We also haven't travelled together before, despite being friends for 20(!) years, so we are a little apprehensive, although we have spent a lot of time together over the past few years. We decide on a 6 day trip. For purposes of this diary I'm going to list my half of the expenses for things we split. Costs are in US dollars, despite paying using Euros. As a side note, I also am a little over one year post-Gastric Bypass, which has a limited effect on my diet (I try to eat low carb, but you'll see that I mostly fail at this on this trip!).
Pre-trip expenses: $1193.15 total
Flight: $255 + 49k points (from Capital One)
Lodging: $1425.91 (split) - $713
Rijksmuseum: $40.28
Anne Frank House: $24.95
Keukenhof Gardens plus bus ticket: $36.20
Red Light District Tour: $50.52
Day trip to windmills tour: $43.20
Snacks: $30ish
Day 1 (Total $21.17)
Our flight is at 5:30pm, so we planned to be at the airport by 3:30pm, which actually turned out to be 4pm. Uber ($21.17). After checking bags (included in flight price) and getting through security we made it to our gate right as boarding was about to start. No time for food or drinks.
On the plane I eat a snack of roasted chickpeas before dinner, which was chicken cacciatore with mashed potatoes, bread, cheesecake, cheese, and a salad. And two glasses of wine. I save the cheesecake and cheese for later.
My friend and I watch a movie (Poor Things) and then try to sleep. I am reading A Fault In Our Stars, because Amsterdam. I try unsuccessfully to sleep for awhile and then go back to reading. At some point i eat the cheese and cheesecake. Breakfast is a cheese roll, which i eat a couple bites of (OMG does all of Amsterdam have this much cheese?? - spoiler alert… yes it does!). I wish I had slept more.
Day 2 - Even though it feels like a continuation of day one. (Total $207.02)
7am - We land at 7 and then grab the bags and go through customs. Easy peasy. We are exhausted so we grab coffee at the airport before figuring out public transit ($5.10). I take out 60 euro for cash in case we need it ($65). We buy a train ticket to the central station ($6.33) and when we get there we buy a four day unlimited public transit pass ($28.44) so that we don’t have to worry about it later.
We get to the hotel at around 9am. They tell us it will cost $50 to check in early, which we opt not to do. Instead we go get breakfast and coffee at a cafe nearby ($21.20). The hotel tells us that our prepaid amount did not include city taxes, which is another $183 (my half $91.88).
11:30am - Back at the room we decide to rest for 90 minutes. Enough to catch up on sleep but not to waste the day and get more jet-lagged. After a rest we decide to walk around and get a feel for the neighborhood and do some shopping. We find a bookstore, and I buy a copy of my favorite book from high school, Tess of the D’Ubervilles with a beautiful cover and gold edges ($21.46). We also buy fries with truffle, mayo, and Parmesan at a fry shop ($3.32) (that’s all they have and they are delicious!). We also stop a grocery store and pick up a few things including yogurt, cheese, salami, apples, and an energy drink ($13.19). We have some early days planned and nothing seems to open early. It’s very cold and rainy and semi unpleasant.
6pm - We drop stuff off, bundle up, and head off to dinner and a tour of the red light district. We try to find a place that serves Snert, a Dutch pea soup, but strike out. We end up at an Asian place instead. I get chicken satay and a beer and my friend gets Indonesian soup and wine ($16.10). Our red light tour is great, but we are exhausted after and head straight home to bed. 22k steps total
Day 3 (Total $87.24)
7:30am - We have an early day planned, and have to be on a bus near the central station by 8am. I eat a yogurt and energy drink (from grocery store) for breakfast and we take public transit (covered on unlimited card) to the station. We find the right bus and head off!
First stop is the windmills, which are beautiful! I am happy we get there early because we basically have the place to ourselves. My friend gets a coffee and we both use the restroom ($1.08!). Then we head to Edam and do a walking tour there. Next stop is a clog/cheese place, which feels very touristy but they do feed us lots of cheese. I buy a cheese slicer as a souvenir ($10.81). Next stop is another small town where we have lunch at a cafe. We basically pick one at random. My friend gets fried fish and I get a ham and cheese panini and a beer ($17.30). Final stop is an artificial island town called Maarken. We do another walking tour.
2:30pm - we arrive back in Amsterdam and get let off north of the water. I grab a coffee ($3.76). We go up to the Adam lookout and take a ride on the swing off the side of the building ($25.95 for swing plus ticket to lookout). We also grab a drink and sit on a pillow watching the city from very high up, which is lovely ($6.63). On the way out I buy a reusable water bottle at the gift shop ($4.87).
After the lookout we take the tram over to a brewery at a windmill that was recommended to us by several people (including here on Reddit!). Cost was covered by the transit pass. We buy bitterballen and a small bottle of Genever (local whiskey) (paid by my friend) and a flight of beer ($16.84). We are a bit tipsy but enjoying the lovely weather.
6:30 - On the way back toward the hotel the weather turns and it starts raining so we dip into a pub for dinner. I have a burger ($16.12). We are there at 8pm, which is momentous because it’s a day of remembrance and the whole bar is silent for two minutes. It was very interesting to be there during this time.
We are exhausted by this point and go home to bed. 19k steps total for the day.
Day 4 (Total $104.33)
7am - Another early day as we have to be on a bus at 7:30 to go to Keukenhof for the tulips! (paid in advance). We wanted to take the first bus out there because we heard the crowds were bad. I eat a yogurt for breakfast and take a 5 hour energy (no cafes open this early!). We try to take public transit to the train station but didn’t realize that the trains do not run that early on a Sunday so we grab an Uber instead ($12.20). We tell the Uber driver we’re trying to catch a bus so he makes sure we find the right place and we pull up just as the bus is loading. Phew!
8:00am - we spend 5 hours in the gardens and take literally hundreds of pictures. We are glad that we get there early as the first few hours are lovely and empty. We get a coffee ($4.60) and lunch later ($25.36). By 1pm it’s getting very crowded so we start heading out. We grab the bus back to the train station.
2:30pm - We decide to go by the Rijksmuseum although not in it because we planning that later. Instead we stop off at the Van Gogh/Rijks gift shop that’s nearby. I get a couple souvenirs, including a foldable bag and a magnet ($20.44). I also get a coffee ($3.64) and my friend gets bubble tea. We sit on the hill on museumplein and people watch. After awhile it starts to get hot (we had dressed for the early morning) so we head back to the hotel to change.
5pm - we decide we are having an evening of drinking. We first grab a drink in the hotel bar because we get free vouchers for each day we choose not to have the room cleaned. Then we have dinner at an udon place, which is delicious. We have tempura, chicken katsu, and dumplings ($15.94). Then because it’s cinco de mayo we decide to have margaritas at the Mexican place near the hotel ($15.15)! Not Dutch but it’s fun. We head down the street to another bar and have a Genever cocktail called an Amsterdam mule ($9.91). I am happy with our choice of hotel because there are so many places in our neighborhood. On the way home we pass a fresh stroopwaffle place and must get in line for one ($5.92).
By then we are exhausted and head to bed. 21k steps total for the day.
Day 5 (Total $80.44)
8am - We have a slightly less early day but have tickets to the Anne Frank house at 9:15. (paid in advance). I eat some yogurt and cheese in the room before we leave. It’s walkable so we decide to head out early and grab coffee on the way. ($3.19). The house is sombering but I’m glad we did it.
11am - After the Anne Frank house we walk to the nearby cheese museum. We sample lots of cheese. I buy one cheese to take home ($15.18). We want to walk to a used bookstore, but decide to have lunch at a cafe on the way. We pick one at random. We split chicken tenders and a goat cheese and apple sandwich and I have a beer. ($15.14). The sandwich is one of the best things we have eaten. We spend about an hour in the bookstore and my friend buys one book.
3pm - We realize we are by the monkey bar (one of the oldest bars in Amsterdam that they told us about on our red light district tour). We stop in for a drink. Ok two drinks. ($12.50). We take the metro back towards the hotel and stop in at a tile store in our neighborhood so I can buy a magnet. I buy magnets from all my trips, but I like non-touristy handmade ones if I can find them, Van Gogh magnet from yesterday aside. I buy one with a windmill on it. ($14). We also stop at the grocery store for more yogurt ($3.05) and for Dutch apple pie at the cafe across the street from the hotel ($4). We get back to the hotel and have another free drink and then rest before dinner.
8pm - We go out to a Dutch restaurant for dinner. I am not super hungry from pie so I just get the snert (pea soup). My friend gets sauerkraut and potatoes. Sorry, but I thought it was pretty bland food in general. ($13.38).
We head home. It’s a lighter day, only 14k steps today.
Day 6 (Total $194.47)
8am - Today is our last full day in Amsterdam. We have planned to spend the day at the Rijksmuseum. We want to get there right when it opens for crowd reasons. We had bought “friend of the museum” passes ahead of time so that we can skip the line. I have a yogurt for breakfast and we walk to a cafe near the museum for coffee and breakfast for my friend ($3.78). The man at the cafe is very nice and we love sitting outside in the sunshine. It’s going to be a warm day!
We spend about 5 hours at the museum. We rush to see the Van goghs and the main gallery where the Rembrandts are, including The Night Watch, which is probably one of the most famous paintings in there. We had downloaded the app so we shared a pair of earbuds and listened to audio notes about many of the works (they have a number you can enter in). We take a break outside for coffee ($7.29 - i pay) and skip the line again. Totally worth it for the more expensive ticket. Around 2 we are hungry and have seen almost everything. We stop in the gift shop and I buy a ring and earring set. ($64.76). I forget to use my 10% discount for being a friend. :( I wanted a necklace too but didn’t like the ones they had there so I’ll try to find a matching piece at home.
2pm - My friend has been trying to get herring for the whole trip so we make it a point to do that. The first place is a bust so we find a little stand that sells it a 15 min walk away. We are determined, so we head there. I don’t eat fish so I get a shawarma on the way, which is terrible (cash). I throw half away. After lunch we get ice cream. I get coffee ice cream, and it makes up for the bad shawarma ($6). We also stop at the peanut butter store, which is allegedly the first in the world, and I pick up 3 small jars for my mom for Mother’s Day ($8.11). We also stop at a thrift store and i buy a dress ($21.59). At some point this day (I think), we also stop at another bookstore, and I buy a few things including a card, a couple gifts, and a book ($39.71).
6pm - After resting a bit, we get two more free drinks at the hotel and then head out to dinner. We pick another Asian place. I get an aperol spritz at dinner and we share appetizers (satay, spring rolls, and bitterballen). We also get coconut ice cream with mango sauce for dessert. All yum! ($33.03).
We get one final drink at a local bar near the hotel ($10.20) and I’m again grateful for our choice of neighborhood. Today has been all walking because our 4-day metro pass ran out yesterday. Total steps 13k.
Day 7 (Total $36.93)
8am - this our last day. The plane was supposed to leave at 1:30pm, but we get a message that it’s delayed an hour. We decide to have a leisurely breakfast. We pick a place that’s at a hotel near our hotel. I get an egg sandwich and my friend gets French toast. We both get coffee. ($15.27)
We decide to leave for the airport around 11. We walk to the central station about 20 min away, and I buy wooden tulips for my mom on the way (cash). We buy train tickets (cash) and get right on a train. We are proud of ourselves for our navigation on this trip.
12pm - we get to the airport and through security. We head to a lounge but there’s a line. We are 40th in line based on our QR code place. We decide not to wait and sit down for lunch at a random bar. I get a sausage and a beer ($20.66). We walk around some and get another message that our flight is delayed more, to 4pm. It’s finally our turn to get into the lounge at 2:30 (2 1/2 hour wait) so we go. I grab some water and a whiskey and coke but we just ate so we are not hungry. Around 3 we head to the gate. Unfortunately when we get there our flight is delayed more and will board at 4. They give us airport vouchers so we buy a book, beer, and some stroopwaffles ($1 after vouchers). We finally board and head off around 5.
On the flight we are served dinner. They have run out of chicken by the time they get to me, but eventually find one and bring it to me later. I have a wine too. I read, watch a movie, and try to sleep a little. We have a whole row of four to ourselves so we can spread out. Dinner is a French bread pizza.
8pm - We land around 7pm (love time zone math!), grab our bags, and get a taxi to my car ($27.09). I drop off my friend and get home at 8:30. I am exhausted but cuddle my cats for about an hour before going to bed. 15k steps today
After trip expenses - $225 cat sitting
Total expenses: $2149.75 (+49k points)
Flight: $255 + 49k points
Lodging: $804.88
Food/drinks: $531.38
Travel: $101.56
Activities: $221.10
Souvenirs/gifts: $ 231.93
Final parting thoughts - I think just over $2k for an almost-week long trip to Europe is a pretty comfortable number for me. I am glad I could use points for most of the flight. We definitely didn't try to cheap out on anything. We spent a lot of money drinking (neither of us drink this much usually). I hope this was helpful to anyone, and I look forward to reactions/comments!
2024.05.14 22:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.14 22:51 friedtofuer Accidentally got married and lost my uniTama
Just got a tamagotchi uni over the weekend. Raised a Tama to an adult and went to tamaverse to explore. I don't remember exactly what I did but I think I went to a party, went to a date, got prompted if I wanted to get married so I clicked yes. My adult Tama now disappeared and I got a new egg. I'm so confused did I lose my adult Tama forever? Is there a menu place I can see my past Tama? I still had some food that wasn't eaten by the adult Tama but doesn't seem like my new baby Tama has access to those. Did I lose my food and other items too?
Also is there a guide specific for the uni I can read? I tried googling but I kept getting results for other tamagotchi models. I'm just overall very confused lol. Thank you
submitted by friedtofuer to tamagotchi [link] [comments]
Also is there a guide specific for the uni I can read? I tried googling but I kept getting results for other tamagotchi models. I'm just overall very confused lol. Thank you
2024.05.14 22:41 Soninetz Softr vs Glide: Uncovering the Advantages & Superiority
 | Did you know that over 90% of businesses struggle to choose between Softr and Glide for their web apps development needs? The decision between Softr vs. Glide can be a game-changer, impacting functionality, design, and user experience significantly. Understanding the strengths and weaknesses of each platform, automation capabilities, responsiveness, and tools is crucial for making an informed choice that aligns with your project goals and requirements. Dive into this comparison to uncover which tool suits your app development endeavors best. submitted by Soninetz to NutraVestaProVen [link] [comments] Useful Links: Key Takeaways
Choosing the Right No-Code PlatformEvaluate Project RequirementsEvaluate your project requirements to determine if you need multiple data sources, advanced building blocks, and granular app permissions. Consider factors like the complexity of your app and the level of customization needed.https://preview.redd.it/nqeroko6eg0d1.png?width=742&format=png&auto=webp&s=7ac31ab5742a624e98f63a1b0e0a18017b7dd6eb Ready to level up your data game? Try Softr for free and create amazing portals or tools effortlessly! Scalability ComparisonCompare the scalability of Softr and Glide by looking at record limits, integrations, and authentication options. Ensure that the platform you choose can support your project's growth in the long run while accommodating users and enabling automation.When comparing platforms, look at aspects such as design flexibility, available design options, and support for custom code integration. These elements play a crucial role in creating appealing apps with unique features.
Advantages of SoftrFlexibilitySoftr, recognized as the best no-code platform by G2, offers unparalleled flexibility. Users can easily customize their websites and applications to suit their specific needs.Robust Design ExperienceWith Softr, users benefit from a more robust design experience compared to Glide. The platform provides a wide range of design options and templates for creating visually appealing projects.Advanced User Access ControlOne key advantage of Softr over Glide is its advanced user access control features. Users can easily manage permissions and access levels for different team members or collaborators.8 Reasons to Switch to Softr
Unique Features of SoftrDesign FlexibilitySoftr offers unparalleled design flexibility, allowing users to customize their web and mobile apps effortlessly. With Softr, you can create a unique and visually appealing interface tailored to your brand.Extensive Integrations
Enhanced Permissions Control
Softr simplifies the app development process by enabling users to create both web and mobile applications simultaneously in just one click. This innovative approach saves time and effort, making it an ideal choice for individuals and businesses looking to establish a strong online presence quickly. With real-time data retrieval capabilities, Softr empowers users to access up-to-date information seamlessly. By leveraging these advanced features, users can create dynamic apps that cater to the evolving needs of their audience effectively. Deep Dive into Softr’s CapabilitiesAuthentication Optionstr offers various authentication options like Sign-in with SSO, SMS, Google, or custom code, ensuring secure access. Users can leverage these options to enhance security and streamline the login process effectively.Record Limits and ScalabilityUnlike Glide, Softr's Business plan boasts no record limits, promoting scalability for growing projects. This feature allows users to expand their databases without constraints, accommodating increasing data needs seamlessly.Granular App Permissionstr provides granular control over app permissions and access levels, enhancing security and data management. This functionality ensures that only authorized individuals can view or modify specific information within the application.SummaryIn your quest to find the ideal no-code platform, you've delved into the realms of Softr and Glide. As you've discovered the advantages and unique features of Softr, it's evident that this platform offers a robust set of capabilities tailored to your needs. With a deeper understanding of what Softr brings to the table, you are now equipped to make an informed decision that aligns with your goals and vision.When it comes to choosing the right no-code platform for your projects, remember that Softr stands out for its user-friendly interface, customization options, and powerful features. Take your time to explore further and consider how Softr can elevate your projects to new heights. Make the most of this opportunity to unleash your creativity and bring your ideas to life effortlessly with Softr. Empower your business with sleek client portals or internal tools using Softr. Get started with our free trial today! Frequently Asked QuestionsWhat factors should I consider when choosing between Softr and Glide?When deciding between Softr and Glide, consider your project requirements, design preferences, ease of use, integrations needed, and scalability. Softr offers a user-friendly interface with robust features for website building, while Glide specializes in creating mobile apps from Google Sheets.What are the key advantages of using Softr for no-code development?tr provides a seamless drag-and-drop interface, pre-built templates for quick setup, database functionality for dynamic content, custom domain support for branding, and responsive design for mobile optimization. These advantages make Softr an ideal choice for rapid no-code application development.What unique features does Softr offer compared to other no-code platforms?tr stands out with its ability to create membership sites, client portals, online marketplaces, and directories without coding. It also offers white-labeling options for branding control, advanced data filtering capabilities, integrated payment gateways for e-commerce solutions, and SEO-friendly features for better visibility.Can you elaborate on the capabilities of Softr that set it apart from traditional web development tools?tr empowers users to build dynamic web applications with complex functionalities such as user authentication, form submissions, interactive dashboards, and content management systems without writing code. Its intuitive platform allows non-technical users to create sophisticated digital solutions quickly and efficiently.How does Softr ensure a smooth user experience while developing no-code applications?tr streamlines the development process by offering extensive documentation, tutorials, and customer support. Its intuitive interface simplifies design tasks like layout customization and content integration. By focusing on user experience optimization, Softr enables creators to bring their ideas to life effectively within its platform.Useful Links: |
2024.05.14 22:34 ChiaDaisy Talk to me about the baby to toddler transition
My baby is turning 12 months next month and although she’s small, she is already walking all over the house, has a couple of words, 8 teeth, eating tons of food and hard to keep still and occupied. I feel totally unprepared and like somehow I woke up with this walking running kid in my house. I feel so under prepared.
How the heck do I feed her snacks on the go? Do I always have to bring my big bill Graco stroller if I want her to have a tray for snacks? It’s so squeaky and bulky now.
Diaper changes. When do I switch to standing changes? Anyone have experience with elimination communication? Should I switch to cloth at this point?
Food. I feel like I’m just constantly giving her beans and cheese and fruit. I’m vegetarian so I don’t prep meat, can I give her vegetarian meat? What are other good low prep meals? I do not have the time or energy to make broccoli tots from scratch.
Where do I find good toys? I feel like my target only has baby teethers and then like light up and sound making electronic toys and we’ve already got plenty of those. So tired of being disappointed by Amazon buys.
submitted by ChiaDaisy to toddlers [link] [comments]
How the heck do I feed her snacks on the go? Do I always have to bring my big bill Graco stroller if I want her to have a tray for snacks? It’s so squeaky and bulky now.
Diaper changes. When do I switch to standing changes? Anyone have experience with elimination communication? Should I switch to cloth at this point?
Food. I feel like I’m just constantly giving her beans and cheese and fruit. I’m vegetarian so I don’t prep meat, can I give her vegetarian meat? What are other good low prep meals? I do not have the time or energy to make broccoli tots from scratch.
Where do I find good toys? I feel like my target only has baby teethers and then like light up and sound making electronic toys and we’ve already got plenty of those. So tired of being disappointed by Amazon buys.
2024.05.14 22:25 BunnieAndTheBeast69 Meal prep and grocery shopping
Hey so I’m paid tomorrow. Wednesday I wanna shop for stuff to make healthy food.
Ideas/ Dinner-chicken with rice and broccoli and protein shake OR taco chicken and bean and rice wraps with sour cream on top and diced potato’s and spinach
Lunch-turkey and cheese on wheat bread with grapes and protein shake
Breakfast/ avocado toast with eggs and protien shake OR yogurt with protein shake and eggs
Snacks/ beef jerky, pistachios, dried fruit, protein bars,
For my sweet tooth!!!/ low cal ice cream(I forgot the name of it!!)
Shopping list- Cheese slices Sour cream Yogurt Cheese blend Wheat bread Strawberries Blueberries Bananas Grapes Dried fruit Chicken Sliced turkey Protein bars Protein shakes Garnola bars Low cal ice cream Pistachios Beef jerky (X4) healthy option frozen meals Soft taco shells Premade salad bowls (x4) Coke Zero Bubbly flavored waters Chicken seasoning Broccoli Rice Spinach Beans Corn Potato’s Bagels Mushrooms
Idk I’m trying to do better choices. For example my fatass wanna buy toasted ravioli and pizzas from imos but I’m not going to. I have a set list and plan. I’m gonna buy a food scale, measuring cups and spoons, tupperware and labels.
submitted by BunnieAndTheBeast69 to WeightLossAdvice [link] [comments]
Ideas/ Dinner-chicken with rice and broccoli and protein shake OR taco chicken and bean and rice wraps with sour cream on top and diced potato’s and spinach
Lunch-turkey and cheese on wheat bread with grapes and protein shake
Breakfast/ avocado toast with eggs and protien shake OR yogurt with protein shake and eggs
Snacks/ beef jerky, pistachios, dried fruit, protein bars,
For my sweet tooth!!!/ low cal ice cream(I forgot the name of it!!)
Shopping list- Cheese slices Sour cream Yogurt Cheese blend Wheat bread Strawberries Blueberries Bananas Grapes Dried fruit Chicken Sliced turkey Protein bars Protein shakes Garnola bars Low cal ice cream Pistachios Beef jerky (X4) healthy option frozen meals Soft taco shells Premade salad bowls (x4) Coke Zero Bubbly flavored waters Chicken seasoning Broccoli Rice Spinach Beans Corn Potato’s Bagels Mushrooms
Idk I’m trying to do better choices. For example my fatass wanna buy toasted ravioli and pizzas from imos but I’m not going to. I have a set list and plan. I’m gonna buy a food scale, measuring cups and spoons, tupperware and labels.
2024.05.14 22:11 AlannaKJ How much does your baby eat (solids)?
My daughter is 4.5 months adjusted (6 months actual) old and was given the go ahead to start solids. My pediatrician says she is hitting her milestones closer to her actual age and as long as she was showing interest in food we could start solids. We started with a combo of BLW and purées/mashes. She’s super interested but isn’t actually eating much. I know they say it’s normal, but how much are your babies actually eating? She eats MAYBE a teaspoon/day. She also brings EVERYTHING to her mouth, but won’t put a spoon in her mouth and instead opens wide and sticks her tongue out, seemingly wanting me to feed her. Basically, I want to be sure I’m setting her up for success!
submitted by AlannaKJ to NewParents [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 22:08 thenerdwritersblog I am pregnant and I am not sure what to do now.
https://www.reddit.com/TwoXIndia/s/liPwhI9XlA
After our fight, I made sure to ignore my husband and only reply when asked questions. He didn't apologize but kept his tone normal with me and after that incident, whenever he used to say anything that would hurt me, I would straight away go out of the room or put headphones or else I would reply back to him.
When I posted the above-mentioned post, I had already conceived, and I missed my periods, so I decided to take an at home pregnancy test. It came out positive.
I informed my husband about my pregnancy test, and he was shocked at first. Then, he kept on questioning if the child was his because this was something we weren't planning. I told him several times(mind you, I was practically shouting at a point), and I am not sure if he believes it or not, but he doesn't ask any more questions.
I am still looking for a job and gave some interviews, waiting to hear back from them. I have decided not to abort the child. I can not do that.
My parents are very happy and my mother strictly said to me to take care of myself even if no one does. She also told me not to tolerate any BS, and if things go rocky, then I should come to India.
My MIL is happy. This is what she told me, but now is concerned about her daughter as my SIL is also expecting a baby. She is like, "Who will help her. She will be all alone." My MIL wants to come here, i.e. in the country we are living right now, but her visa was rejected a few times before. She also told me to go find work at supermarkets. When I told her the news, she was more concerned about her daughter and me not earning rather than the happiness of having a baby.
My husband, on the other hand, told me to take care of myself and, surprisingly,listen to me. He will make sure I eat healthy and on time and not eat cold food. When we visited the doctor, he also asked questions regarding my health. Yes, he does tells me to do certain things like talk to people ( I am very reserved type), engage in conversations but now he is not shouting at me but talking with me in normal tone.
Also, my MIL once told me that we want a boy child only at first, and when I asked the same question to my husband, he said that it didn't matter to him whether it would be a girl or a boy. It would be our baby.
I am sure I am a bad person for saying this, but I don't want my MIL to be present here cause she has some weird notions about periods and pregnancy. When I was in India living with her, she would not let me come near when she was making pickles if I was menstruating. Now, she is telling me that if two pregnant women live together, then one would lose their milk and would not be able to breastfeed. This is the reason my SIL and her husband will be living separately. She also says that if a pregnant woman craves sweet, it would be a boy and many other things.
I have already heard these things and a guessing game of a boy child or a girl child at the time of my SIL, and now, I can not go through this again during my time. I am sure I will blast and say something to her.
For my sanity, I don't want her here. I am ready to face all challenges and do everything for my baby, but not this. This does make me a bad person, but I can't help it.
I am sure that having a child will not change the dynamics between my husband and I, and I can not process things right now. I really need a sisterly advice please.
submitted by thenerdwritersblog to TwoXIndia [link] [comments]
After our fight, I made sure to ignore my husband and only reply when asked questions. He didn't apologize but kept his tone normal with me and after that incident, whenever he used to say anything that would hurt me, I would straight away go out of the room or put headphones or else I would reply back to him.
When I posted the above-mentioned post, I had already conceived, and I missed my periods, so I decided to take an at home pregnancy test. It came out positive.
I informed my husband about my pregnancy test, and he was shocked at first. Then, he kept on questioning if the child was his because this was something we weren't planning. I told him several times(mind you, I was practically shouting at a point), and I am not sure if he believes it or not, but he doesn't ask any more questions.
I am still looking for a job and gave some interviews, waiting to hear back from them. I have decided not to abort the child. I can not do that.
My parents are very happy and my mother strictly said to me to take care of myself even if no one does. She also told me not to tolerate any BS, and if things go rocky, then I should come to India.
My MIL is happy. This is what she told me, but now is concerned about her daughter as my SIL is also expecting a baby. She is like, "Who will help her. She will be all alone." My MIL wants to come here, i.e. in the country we are living right now, but her visa was rejected a few times before. She also told me to go find work at supermarkets. When I told her the news, she was more concerned about her daughter and me not earning rather than the happiness of having a baby.
My husband, on the other hand, told me to take care of myself and, surprisingly,listen to me. He will make sure I eat healthy and on time and not eat cold food. When we visited the doctor, he also asked questions regarding my health. Yes, he does tells me to do certain things like talk to people ( I am very reserved type), engage in conversations but now he is not shouting at me but talking with me in normal tone.
Also, my MIL once told me that we want a boy child only at first, and when I asked the same question to my husband, he said that it didn't matter to him whether it would be a girl or a boy. It would be our baby.
I am sure I am a bad person for saying this, but I don't want my MIL to be present here cause she has some weird notions about periods and pregnancy. When I was in India living with her, she would not let me come near when she was making pickles if I was menstruating. Now, she is telling me that if two pregnant women live together, then one would lose their milk and would not be able to breastfeed. This is the reason my SIL and her husband will be living separately. She also says that if a pregnant woman craves sweet, it would be a boy and many other things.
I have already heard these things and a guessing game of a boy child or a girl child at the time of my SIL, and now, I can not go through this again during my time. I am sure I will blast and say something to her.
For my sanity, I don't want her here. I am ready to face all challenges and do everything for my baby, but not this. This does make me a bad person, but I can't help it.
I am sure that having a child will not change the dynamics between my husband and I, and I can not process things right now. I really need a sisterly advice please.
2024.05.14 22:01 Euphoric-Earth-4765 An inside look at the culture and ideology of Faith Comes By Hearing_PART 3
Most meetings should be an email:
Their “all hands on deck” meetings are early in the morning, even though the first three hours of your workday are your most precious and productive and should be reserved for the most important tasks where focus, attention, high cognitive function, willpower is needed, according to research. Willpower or mental energy regulates your thoughts, emotions, impulses, and performance control.
Top management has recurring meetings but it seems like the topic was determined 5 min beforehand because the meetings are often all over the place, with no clear agenda, and random topics. Often, they feel like a parent lecturing their teenager.
Meetings are mandatory. Most employees do not really have to be there. The meetings do not affect the actual day to day job functions. The main purpose for these meetings seems to be for unity (or the appearance of). They are often not productive. Not useful and not engaging for most employees. Not worth spending company time. Not used for coaching or mentoring. Not used for making decisions. They are not about a complex issue that needs to be talked through ideas and solutions. In actuality, 98% of the meetings should really just be emails. There are three regular weekly meetings: about 80-90% of them include testimonies or personal stories and about 10-20% is someone sharing statistics (about the products they produce) or status updates or the behind the scenes (how the "hotdogs" are made). One out of about four meetings involve a recount of the ministry's history. If one did not attend the meetings, nothing would change. There really would not be any consequences that would affect doing your job.
Finally, Managers or employees who have traveled internationally are the only ones that get to speak and address the entire ministry. Everyone else doesn't get a voice.
Testimonies or personal stories:
Stories and testimonies as a form of encouragement and motivation are not bad or not useful; however, there are other areas in the work culture that are lacking that destroy any built up motivation. Employees are expected to have some kind of emotional response to them. Over the months and years, stories and testimonies become overused. In fact, you will hear so many testimonies that, over time, they will blurr and you will probably become desensitized to them. Stories and testimonies are probably seen as a way of providing support to employees but other supports are also lacking and needed (e.g., better leadership, empowerment, resources, tools, better communication, regular check ins, accountability, empathy, feedback, personal and professional development). Stories, anecdotes, and testimonies seem to be used to deflect from some of the problems in the ministry culture.
Top management pressures employees to feel a certain way. They want them to always feel encouraged and motivated by everything and anything the ministry does:
If you replace "encourage" with Love" and then talk to your wife....
“I took out the trash, that should make you feel loved. I mowed the lawn, that should make you feel loved. I picked up my laundry, that should make you feel loved. I went exercised today, that should make you feel loved. i helped an old lady cross the street.”
This makes it all about YOU, not how your wife actually feels! in fact, you are manipulating her to feel a certain way by what you did!
"If you are not feeling loved by all these things I did, then something is wrong with YOU.”
So management tells employees how they should be feeling about things. Performance is often not rewarded. Many employees do not know how much management cares about them as a person. What would be really encouraging is if management gave employees confidence, listed better, spoke to their needs, and empowered them.
Meetings - introverts vs extroverts:
Meetings are not set up to accommodate the basic differences between introverts and extroverts (e.g., how they best think, work, process information, communicate, learn; introverts typically dislike noise and big group settings) nor of how people need to manage their energy (ultradian rhythms). Management does not use information about individual team members’ personalities and predilections to formulate norms and dynamics that are respectful to everyone. Research indicates that in a typical six-person meeting, two people do more than 60% of the talking. In bigger groups, like the 100+ group at FCBH, the problem is worse. Management allows a certain dominant personality to do all the talking. They are not coached to listen, reflect, and become more open to the perspectives of their more silent peers. Top management does not send the meeting agenda in advance and ask for written feedback to give introverts time to formulate thoughts and summon the courage to share them.
Management’s definition of a “successful” meeting is different from that of other organizations. Top management does not appear to have any training in meeting science. Most meetings do not provide value to all attendees. They are not set up for employees to contribute and add value to them. Also, no opportunities to give feedback on meeting quality when meetings end.
A “Christian” version of CRT:
The opinions and perspectives of international employees are valued over local/american employees. Employees who are international (and especially those who live in persecuted areas) are often prioritized and favored. Their voice, their input, is often considered more important because top management pressures them to share and speak.
If there is a need, entire ministry is notified to pray if the need is from internationals but not if the need is local.
Personal convictions. Money:
Top management tends to have some childhood trauma, that is the root cause of their strong personal convictions, that often comes out during their mandatory meetings. These “preaching” moments usually have to do with money. They grew up poor or had strict parents or been around groups, ministries, and churches that abused money and now they get triggered or feel guilty when they see new things and resist replacing things like whiteboards and chairs: "if we already have something, we don't need to replace it = if it ain't broke, don't fix/replace it. wear your shoes out until your soles poke through the bottom before buying new ones." They seem to get triggered when employees ask them for upgrades/replacements” “if it can still 'technically' work, then it's fine.”
Compromises:
In order to fulfill their deadlines and to keep up appearances with ministry partners and donors, management will often “let things go”. Things such as quality of the recordings or training issues with internationals. They are willing to sacrifice quality control to get the results their supporters want to see.
Employee well-being:
Top management often makes assumptions about the well-being and contentment of employees.
They do not invest time and effort in comprehending genuine emotions and needs to create a supportive and harmonious work environment.
No consideration for managing energy or attention. No discussions on employees’ health and wellness goals. Instead, employees are expected to focus, to look at computer screens for extended periods of time (an 8 hrs shift includes two short breaks) even though editing and processing audio and video requires high mental energy and prolonged focus. Management often ignores telltale singles of burnout and fatigue. No effort is made to increase energy, reduce fatigue, and improve job performance. So, consistency, accuracy, and quality of recordings are affected as well as employees’ well-being.
Moveover, no paid maternity or even work from home options for new parents. Many new moms have left. New parents must be use PTO if they want time with their new baby.
The end result? Low moral, isolation, aloneness. Many employees are overworked and underappreciated. Many are not satisfied with their position. Most work until they burn out. Someone said this and it's true: for every employee that leaves, they have to hire at least two people to replace them. Sure, there are some long-term or for life employees who have been around for 10+ years. Unfortunately, most of these employees have outdated skills and would have a difficult time finding work (there is no continuing education or certifications offered) if they wanted to leave (or were let go). In addition, many of the skills employees learn on the job are non-transferrable. So, many choose to stay and remain loyal to the ministry because the cost of leaving is just too high.
No windows; no natural light:
Most of the building has no windows. Something to note if you struggle with depression.
People are different:
Management seems to lack an understanding of how people are wired, how each person is different, what drives their behavior and what they’re capable of doing with their skills. Not much consideration for each person’s individual goals, strengths, and weaknesses. Management does not create situations that encourage employees to motivate themselves.
So, work areas do not reflect the needs of Gen Z and millennials, the basic differences between introverts and extroverts (e.g., how they think, work, process information, communicate, learn), how personality impacts work preferences and styles. No awareness of how people need to manage their energy (ultradian rhythms). They do not allow people to work the way they want to; extroverts should feel comfortable taking time to socialize, while introverts should have license to work remotely or take breaks from the team.
Top management does not recognize that individuals may not always express their inner concerns or desires openly. They don’t sculpt jobs to enhance individual engagement: they don’t seek to understand the unique motivations of employees or develop each employee’s career. No incentives or rewards are provided. Not much authentic appreciation is shown. Employees have value as people (not just as producers), and management needs to communicate in ways that are meaningful to the recipient (as opposed to just going through the motions). Management must adopt business practices that help employees have a personal life.”
Work family:
Despite current best business practices, management will continually use the phrase “work family”.
All about the numbers:
There is more focus on production than the core values of the ministry. Top management almost idolizes how many bibles are produced. There is a focus on goals and numbers which often comes off as self-righteous and self-promoting and self-important: Numbers of bibles produced, numbers of people who receive those bibles, numbers of testimonies from those that get the bibles. Focus seems to be on the products FCBH produces over the people reached. Focus is on getting bibles to people. Focus is not on discipleship or teaching people how to correctly interpret the Bible they receive so they can become more like Jesus. Top management seems to be more focused on what they have done well rather than on what others have done well. And they often take credit for accomplishments that should be credited to God.
Theology at work:
Management does not want discussions to get “too theological”, they want to keep it “practical”, as though good practice did not require careful thought to direct it. They discourage employees from discussing theology because they want to keep “unity” and avoid division among Christians, however, they will present their own theological positions and convictions but not allow other employees to question or share their own views and opinions especially on controversial topics (e.g., spiritual gifts, hearing from God, fasting, finances, stewardship, prophesy, replacement theology).
Favoritism:
Major donors to the ministry are singled out to entire staff and praised. The poor widow with two coins wouldn't get any mention. This makes it seem that the ministry only really cares about the major donors. All donors should be anonymous to employees that are not directly working with the donors.
Employees who are pastors are also favored:
They are often asked to pray or give a word in meetings as if their prayers and words are above employees who are not pastors. As if God will take extra time and attention to hear from them and answer their prayers.
Inconsistencies:
Some “special” employees are allowed to work remotely for some unknown reason. Most employees requesting to WFH are denied. This is never explained and so it creates division, confusion, and envy.
Birthday, thanksgiving, and Christmas parties vary drastically by department: some departments work half day and get together off site to celebrate; some work full day and have no party; some work full day and have a 30min party onsite (during work hours?); some have food only, some have food and games, some have everyone bring in food but some have the ministry? provide the food; some have gift exchange and some don’t….
Conclusion:
Some people might say this is all superficial and selfish, all that really matters is getting bibles to people. You be the judge. Many have chosen to ignore these issues and remain loyal to the ministry; some stay and think things will get better; others stay because they have nowhere else to go; some mentally check out; some have spoken out and been labeled as “causing disunity” and then let go, and many others have chosen to leave. Unfortunately, the people most sensitive to a decrease in the quality of the culture are typically those with the most resources, skills, and talents that could be used to effectuate improvement. The people who are the least sensitive to quality usually have fewer resources, skills, and talents.
submitted by Euphoric-Earth-4765 to u/Euphoric-Earth-4765 [link] [comments]
Their “all hands on deck” meetings are early in the morning, even though the first three hours of your workday are your most precious and productive and should be reserved for the most important tasks where focus, attention, high cognitive function, willpower is needed, according to research. Willpower or mental energy regulates your thoughts, emotions, impulses, and performance control.
Top management has recurring meetings but it seems like the topic was determined 5 min beforehand because the meetings are often all over the place, with no clear agenda, and random topics. Often, they feel like a parent lecturing their teenager.
Meetings are mandatory. Most employees do not really have to be there. The meetings do not affect the actual day to day job functions. The main purpose for these meetings seems to be for unity (or the appearance of). They are often not productive. Not useful and not engaging for most employees. Not worth spending company time. Not used for coaching or mentoring. Not used for making decisions. They are not about a complex issue that needs to be talked through ideas and solutions. In actuality, 98% of the meetings should really just be emails. There are three regular weekly meetings: about 80-90% of them include testimonies or personal stories and about 10-20% is someone sharing statistics (about the products they produce) or status updates or the behind the scenes (how the "hotdogs" are made). One out of about four meetings involve a recount of the ministry's history. If one did not attend the meetings, nothing would change. There really would not be any consequences that would affect doing your job.
Finally, Managers or employees who have traveled internationally are the only ones that get to speak and address the entire ministry. Everyone else doesn't get a voice.
Testimonies or personal stories:
Stories and testimonies as a form of encouragement and motivation are not bad or not useful; however, there are other areas in the work culture that are lacking that destroy any built up motivation. Employees are expected to have some kind of emotional response to them. Over the months and years, stories and testimonies become overused. In fact, you will hear so many testimonies that, over time, they will blurr and you will probably become desensitized to them. Stories and testimonies are probably seen as a way of providing support to employees but other supports are also lacking and needed (e.g., better leadership, empowerment, resources, tools, better communication, regular check ins, accountability, empathy, feedback, personal and professional development). Stories, anecdotes, and testimonies seem to be used to deflect from some of the problems in the ministry culture.
Top management pressures employees to feel a certain way. They want them to always feel encouraged and motivated by everything and anything the ministry does:
If you replace "encourage" with Love" and then talk to your wife....
“I took out the trash, that should make you feel loved. I mowed the lawn, that should make you feel loved. I picked up my laundry, that should make you feel loved. I went exercised today, that should make you feel loved. i helped an old lady cross the street.”
This makes it all about YOU, not how your wife actually feels! in fact, you are manipulating her to feel a certain way by what you did!
"If you are not feeling loved by all these things I did, then something is wrong with YOU.”
So management tells employees how they should be feeling about things. Performance is often not rewarded. Many employees do not know how much management cares about them as a person. What would be really encouraging is if management gave employees confidence, listed better, spoke to their needs, and empowered them.
Meetings - introverts vs extroverts:
Meetings are not set up to accommodate the basic differences between introverts and extroverts (e.g., how they best think, work, process information, communicate, learn; introverts typically dislike noise and big group settings) nor of how people need to manage their energy (ultradian rhythms). Management does not use information about individual team members’ personalities and predilections to formulate norms and dynamics that are respectful to everyone. Research indicates that in a typical six-person meeting, two people do more than 60% of the talking. In bigger groups, like the 100+ group at FCBH, the problem is worse. Management allows a certain dominant personality to do all the talking. They are not coached to listen, reflect, and become more open to the perspectives of their more silent peers. Top management does not send the meeting agenda in advance and ask for written feedback to give introverts time to formulate thoughts and summon the courage to share them.
Management’s definition of a “successful” meeting is different from that of other organizations. Top management does not appear to have any training in meeting science. Most meetings do not provide value to all attendees. They are not set up for employees to contribute and add value to them. Also, no opportunities to give feedback on meeting quality when meetings end.
A “Christian” version of CRT:
The opinions and perspectives of international employees are valued over local/american employees. Employees who are international (and especially those who live in persecuted areas) are often prioritized and favored. Their voice, their input, is often considered more important because top management pressures them to share and speak.
If there is a need, entire ministry is notified to pray if the need is from internationals but not if the need is local.
Personal convictions. Money:
Top management tends to have some childhood trauma, that is the root cause of their strong personal convictions, that often comes out during their mandatory meetings. These “preaching” moments usually have to do with money. They grew up poor or had strict parents or been around groups, ministries, and churches that abused money and now they get triggered or feel guilty when they see new things and resist replacing things like whiteboards and chairs: "if we already have something, we don't need to replace it = if it ain't broke, don't fix/replace it. wear your shoes out until your soles poke through the bottom before buying new ones." They seem to get triggered when employees ask them for upgrades/replacements” “if it can still 'technically' work, then it's fine.”
Compromises:
In order to fulfill their deadlines and to keep up appearances with ministry partners and donors, management will often “let things go”. Things such as quality of the recordings or training issues with internationals. They are willing to sacrifice quality control to get the results their supporters want to see.
Employee well-being:
Top management often makes assumptions about the well-being and contentment of employees.
They do not invest time and effort in comprehending genuine emotions and needs to create a supportive and harmonious work environment.
No consideration for managing energy or attention. No discussions on employees’ health and wellness goals. Instead, employees are expected to focus, to look at computer screens for extended periods of time (an 8 hrs shift includes two short breaks) even though editing and processing audio and video requires high mental energy and prolonged focus. Management often ignores telltale singles of burnout and fatigue. No effort is made to increase energy, reduce fatigue, and improve job performance. So, consistency, accuracy, and quality of recordings are affected as well as employees’ well-being.
Moveover, no paid maternity or even work from home options for new parents. Many new moms have left. New parents must be use PTO if they want time with their new baby.
The end result? Low moral, isolation, aloneness. Many employees are overworked and underappreciated. Many are not satisfied with their position. Most work until they burn out. Someone said this and it's true: for every employee that leaves, they have to hire at least two people to replace them. Sure, there are some long-term or for life employees who have been around for 10+ years. Unfortunately, most of these employees have outdated skills and would have a difficult time finding work (there is no continuing education or certifications offered) if they wanted to leave (or were let go). In addition, many of the skills employees learn on the job are non-transferrable. So, many choose to stay and remain loyal to the ministry because the cost of leaving is just too high.
No windows; no natural light:
Most of the building has no windows. Something to note if you struggle with depression.
People are different:
Management seems to lack an understanding of how people are wired, how each person is different, what drives their behavior and what they’re capable of doing with their skills. Not much consideration for each person’s individual goals, strengths, and weaknesses. Management does not create situations that encourage employees to motivate themselves.
So, work areas do not reflect the needs of Gen Z and millennials, the basic differences between introverts and extroverts (e.g., how they think, work, process information, communicate, learn), how personality impacts work preferences and styles. No awareness of how people need to manage their energy (ultradian rhythms). They do not allow people to work the way they want to; extroverts should feel comfortable taking time to socialize, while introverts should have license to work remotely or take breaks from the team.
Top management does not recognize that individuals may not always express their inner concerns or desires openly. They don’t sculpt jobs to enhance individual engagement: they don’t seek to understand the unique motivations of employees or develop each employee’s career. No incentives or rewards are provided. Not much authentic appreciation is shown. Employees have value as people (not just as producers), and management needs to communicate in ways that are meaningful to the recipient (as opposed to just going through the motions). Management must adopt business practices that help employees have a personal life.”
Work family:
Despite current best business practices, management will continually use the phrase “work family”.
All about the numbers:
There is more focus on production than the core values of the ministry. Top management almost idolizes how many bibles are produced. There is a focus on goals and numbers which often comes off as self-righteous and self-promoting and self-important: Numbers of bibles produced, numbers of people who receive those bibles, numbers of testimonies from those that get the bibles. Focus seems to be on the products FCBH produces over the people reached. Focus is on getting bibles to people. Focus is not on discipleship or teaching people how to correctly interpret the Bible they receive so they can become more like Jesus. Top management seems to be more focused on what they have done well rather than on what others have done well. And they often take credit for accomplishments that should be credited to God.
Theology at work:
Management does not want discussions to get “too theological”, they want to keep it “practical”, as though good practice did not require careful thought to direct it. They discourage employees from discussing theology because they want to keep “unity” and avoid division among Christians, however, they will present their own theological positions and convictions but not allow other employees to question or share their own views and opinions especially on controversial topics (e.g., spiritual gifts, hearing from God, fasting, finances, stewardship, prophesy, replacement theology).
Favoritism:
Major donors to the ministry are singled out to entire staff and praised. The poor widow with two coins wouldn't get any mention. This makes it seem that the ministry only really cares about the major donors. All donors should be anonymous to employees that are not directly working with the donors.
Employees who are pastors are also favored:
They are often asked to pray or give a word in meetings as if their prayers and words are above employees who are not pastors. As if God will take extra time and attention to hear from them and answer their prayers.
Inconsistencies:
Some “special” employees are allowed to work remotely for some unknown reason. Most employees requesting to WFH are denied. This is never explained and so it creates division, confusion, and envy.
Birthday, thanksgiving, and Christmas parties vary drastically by department: some departments work half day and get together off site to celebrate; some work full day and have no party; some work full day and have a 30min party onsite (during work hours?); some have food only, some have food and games, some have everyone bring in food but some have the ministry? provide the food; some have gift exchange and some don’t….
Conclusion:
Some people might say this is all superficial and selfish, all that really matters is getting bibles to people. You be the judge. Many have chosen to ignore these issues and remain loyal to the ministry; some stay and think things will get better; others stay because they have nowhere else to go; some mentally check out; some have spoken out and been labeled as “causing disunity” and then let go, and many others have chosen to leave. Unfortunately, the people most sensitive to a decrease in the quality of the culture are typically those with the most resources, skills, and talents that could be used to effectuate improvement. The people who are the least sensitive to quality usually have fewer resources, skills, and talents.
2024.05.14 22:00 BrookieCookieCon19 Reposted to fix errors in format and add poctures
 | My wedding was a dumpster fire... literally... submitted by BrookieCookieCon19 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments] I saw your wedding horror story videos and have one of my own I think a lot of people would get a kick out of. Yes, this entire story is 100% true with no real hyperbole, tall tales, etc. This all actually happened and I have witnesses that will attest to this if asked. I'd been with my husband for about 2 years, engaged for 1, when we found out I was pregnant. Obvi, we decided to rush the wedding after we had a talk about the surprise and what we wanted to do. Flash forward a little and my original Maid of Honor and I had a falling out because the last time we had been together and gone to the church the wedding was being hosted, she had gotten disrespectful with the elders and asked questions she thought were funny, but were really just rude. The swearing really didn't help matters either. I asked her if she would be able to try to be more respectful of my beliefs and be gentle with the others that would be there. This lead to a fight and the beginning of the end of a 7 year relationship (when we tried to rekindle our relationship later, she said she hoped my son would get unalived by a cop because he is white and no one cared about it. Thank God I cut ties when I did). This was also the beginning of a new friendship between myself and the best man's fiancé (we are still bffs today) when I asked her to take over. Crisis 1 averted. For the sake of setting some scenes, I worked at a hotel in a podunk town, right off the highway and met with a make up artist that came in for a makeup party gig with housekeeping. We talked and she agreed to work with me and MOH for the wedding. Here comes the beginning of everything going down hill, on fire, in a rickety buggy. The night before, after the rehearsal dinner, at 11pm the makeup artist gets ahold of me saying she has to cancel because her husband got into a water bottle accident (water bottle is oilfield speak for the giant water trucks they have on site) and was in the hospital. We understood and told her to do what she has to, we can handle things ourselves. Meanwhile, my husband's uncle was cooking the pig for the reception dinner as it doubled as his wedding gift to us (which we are extremely thankful for btw). It caught on fire. In the parking lot. Of the hotel I was working at, and everyone was staying. Luckily he was able to save it, but I got to hear about it when I got back to work. They printed the security camera image and everything. It was great. Now it's the morning of the wedding. I realize that I am missing makeup that I need and, living in a map dot myself, needed to drive half an hour away in order to get what we were missing. Thank God for my dad needed to go out that way anyway. He got us breakfast, took us to the store, and we grabbed what we needed and started to take off. The shirt I was wearing, without my knowledge, had popped the button right over my boobs showing God and everybody my goodies and I hadn't realized it until we were on our way to grab the cupcakes and "smash" cake (it was a cheap alternative to a traditional wedding cake and actually save us a TON of money for the "event"[ note for brides on a budget, say event and not wedding to save some extra $]). We get home and nerves take over, coupled with my already awful morning sickness, leading me to be stuck in the bathroom for a while. I finish up, brush my teeth again for the third time and decide to start getting things around and just get ready at the church. I made a Playlist in order, and wrote down the order for my brother to be able to just press play and not worry about ads or anything. I literally went as far as saying song a-c for while you wait, d for the procession, and e for my enterance with the song titles. This will become a problem apparently. As MOH and I are getting ready, I start to freak out because the makeup I got is streaky and I can barely get anything to blend how I want it to, so my mom had my dad grab her makeup and bring it down and takes over for us. Her friend, who offered to do pictures for us along with my SIL (and I paid them both for) told my mom to give me fake lashes because it'd make the pictures prettier. I told them I wasn't comfortable with it because it was new and I didn't know if I could handle the glue smell and the glue she uses hurts my eyes as is. Mom basically said to hush and let her do it. One thing lead to another, and my mother glued my eyes shut. 10 minutes before my wedding was due to start. Even though I had asked for no fake lashes. Hormones kicked in and I started to cry. After about 5 minutes, we are able to get my eyes opened, but still had bits of glue in my lashes that ended up scratching my eyes throughout the wedding. I included a picture where you can see even through the editing how chunky the glue made my lashes and where chunks were pulled out with the glue. My dad came down asking what was taking so long, and my mom snapped at him and told him to go upstairs and wait a second, which made me start to cry again. I calm myself down rather quickly and get dressed (the dress ended up being too big because the morning sickness had made me lose weight without me realizing it) and we all head upstairs only about 5 minutes or so late. At the doors, I can hear the music playing. It's the wrong songs. My dad, in his usual joking fashion, said "It's not too late to run". I told him I just wanted to get this dumpster fire over with. Speed up a bit and during the ceremony, the pastor skipped over the marriage cross ceremony (where the newly weds put a cross together as a symbol of our faith in our marriage), and called my husband Durk. Miraculously, we make it through with those being the only things amiss, besides my husband being tired and looking grumpy the entire time (I guess he and Best Man stayed up half the night BSing with his uncle and dad, my FIL, and having a couple drinks). Now the ceremony is over and we have people heading to the hotel to set up for the reception. Pictures were a cluster, there was yelling, I started to cry again because I just wanted things to be done quickly, and my mom wanted her photographer she had come in take pictures that she promised to pay for. We still haven't gotten any of them from said photographer. After my parents were done with their part, they took off for the hotel and someone accidentally set some of the mac and cheese on fire, setting off the smoke alarms for the hotel. Can't say I cared too much because it wasn't the recipe I'd given my mom to make that she asked me to send her because I'm a picky eater as it is with my "touch of the tism" coupled with pregnancy making things worse. Eventually we get there, and things had gotten flip-flopped as to what was going on and when because Mom wanted it to go her way, MIL was trying to stick to the schedule I had made... It was great. Thank God for hubby's "Aunti B" that was able to take charge and be my voice and fix things where as my mom looked at MIL and Aunti B and said "I don't care, she's you're problem now". Honestly wasn't surprising from my mom. So we wait for every one to file in to the room we were supposed to start in, and I have to teach my brother how to press play on my phone for music. 🤦🏽♀️ Awesome. We get the Mother Son dance and the Father Daughter dance, and by then my husband was done with everything so we just had the food blessed and proceeded to the dining area. No newlywed dance for us. Still pretty upset about that. At this point I'm too upset to eat, but manage to nibble here and there. As things start to come down, Mom's friend (yes eyelash woman) comes up to me upset because I didn't warn her that the hotel had a pool so she didn't bring suits for her girls to swim in while everyone else was prepared. I informed her (and showed her) that on the event page for the wedding I wrote where everything was taking place and that the hotel had a pool they were free to enjoy. The same information everyone else had used before coming. Embarrassed, she left and just had her daughters swim in their underwear and diaper. At that point, everyone had eaten, we did the cake cutting, cake smash "competition" (hubby and I each had a jar people woukd put money into as a bid to who will get the cake to the face. Hubby lost, but we ended up turning it into a little game anyway. Pictures included) and a lot of the ceremonial stuff was over so I started cleaning up (condition of being able to use the hotel for free for the event as an employee) and everyone started pitching in. The ceremony was at 3pm, reception around 4pm. We had everything cleaned up by 6:30pm, 7pm at the latest. Everyone that was staying in the hotel hung out for a bit, and my MIL and SIL (bless them) attempted to get the rest of the eyelash glue out of my eyes and managed to get a bit out with only one piece left before I had to stop. I got chewed out about how things went and how bad my parents looked with everything by my mom (OFC) and I decided to say screw it, packed up, and left for home with hubby, MOH and BM. If you thought that was the end of it, you're mistaken. The next day, after my amazing MOH got the last of the glue out of my eye, we saw everyone off, and we were to take off for our honeymoon (a Civil War town because there was quite a bit of fun there when I went, and Hubby hadn't been, and it was cheap). I convinced my dad to let us take the SUV because I had a bad feeling about my car. Thank God I did because despite the "new" engine, the car died on the highway not even 10 miles from home when I took it to work later on. Anyway, we make it to the hotel that had amazing reviews online to discover stains everywhere on the bed and stuff (ew), the pool was atrocious, and the water in the shower smelled like chemicals and started to burn my husband's face. So we checked out saying we had an emergency back home and had to leave. I called a nearby hotel in my brand I worked for and managed to get a room that is usually about $170 a night or so, for $60 a night. Thank God for them. The rest of the honeymoon went on well with almost no morning sickness, and no other issues. The only bout of morning sickness (which reiterates my desire to know why it's called that when it can happen anytime of day) happened when my husband was being sweet and shared some of his food with me he knew I generally liked. The baby decided "I don't like that", sending me to hug a trash can a little while after lunch. In the middle of the section of (Civil War Town). By the (civil war history specific) house. In the middle of afternoon traffic. The family ahead of us glared and started saying something about drunk people in the day 🙄 and my husband started laughing at the irony of it all. He took off to find me napkins to clean up and a good Samaritan stopped to ask if I was ok. I told him "I'm fine, just pregnant" and they chuckled then left. I managed to get cleaned up when hubby came back with the napkins and we continued on our way. For those wondering, we now have 2 healthy boys, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and have been happily married for 5 years in August. We still laugh about my eyes getting glued shut on our anniversary with our friends and how my wedding was a prime example of Murphy's Law. If it can go wrong, it will go wrong. |
2024.05.14 21:59 adriancha LIVE: Tottenham vs Manchester City Premier League 23/24 Full Match Streaming
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2024.05.14 21:56 Potential-Bee3073 How do I gently explain to my lovely MIL why polyester plush toys are not good for a baby?
First of all, my MIL is an angel and I don’t want to hurt her feelings. I am a typical avocado millennial, I eat very healthy, do not use anything with polyester, nor do I have anything plastic in my kitchen etc. From what my husband told me, she feels self-conscious and uneducated compared to me (which is ridiculous), because I have so many “health boundaries”, which I always explain, but I fear it might come off as patronizing. We are from East Europe and all homemade food here is full of pork, floating in vegetable oil, put in plastic containers etc.
I am only 13 weeks pregnant, but she is too excited and has already bought a set of 6 polyester plush toys which look like something more appropriate for a 3 or 4-year-old, not a newborn.
I can easily handle this one situation, but if she bought this now, how many more toys are there gonna be before and after the baby is born? I only planned cotton and wood toys for the baby, and I already found a wool carpet for the living room, as there is research showing polyester materials shed microplastic into the air, together with all the potential harmful substances they carry. I also do not want the child to have a gazillion toys. What is a graceful way to handle this? My MIL is an angel and I don’t want to burst her bubble.
submitted by Potential-Bee3073 to BabyBumps [link] [comments]
I am only 13 weeks pregnant, but she is too excited and has already bought a set of 6 polyester plush toys which look like something more appropriate for a 3 or 4-year-old, not a newborn.
I can easily handle this one situation, but if she bought this now, how many more toys are there gonna be before and after the baby is born? I only planned cotton and wood toys for the baby, and I already found a wool carpet for the living room, as there is research showing polyester materials shed microplastic into the air, together with all the potential harmful substances they carry. I also do not want the child to have a gazillion toys. What is a graceful way to handle this? My MIL is an angel and I don’t want to burst her bubble.
2024.05.14 21:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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