One of the fascinating aspects of outsider reports and analysis is what they see. Given that at this point (1992) the internet was not yet widely available/accessible, this sort of thing would have been difficult to find. And of course SGI wasn't ever going to tell us the truth!
This will show you that SGI-USA (then called "NSA") was failing in recruiting far earlier than perhaps most of us in the US realized. SGI in the USA was basically a flash in the pan; it fizzled fast; and now it's just that rank stale smoke smell that lingers long after the fire's been put out.
This comes from Cults and Nonconventional Religious Groups: A Collection of Outstanding Dissertations and Monographs, "Nichiren Shoshu Buddhism and the Soka Gakkai in America: The Ethos of a New Religious Movement", Jane Hurst, 1992, pp. 150-151. Jane Hurst has some interesting research out there; while she tends toward being uncritically supportive of SGI, anyone who is making statistics available is a big help.

NSA members in the 1960s and 1970s were young (52% below age 30), more than half female (59%), and from a variety of occupations and social classes.

The Baby Boom generation were at most age 19 in, say, 1965 and at most age 24 in 1970.
This youthfulness is largely reflected in the early organization's origins in the American servicemen who returned from being stationed in Japan with their Japanese war-brides - those servicemen tended to be young and from a variety of ethnicities and backgrounds, as the draft was still in effect during that time period (ended March 1975). In addition, the first General Director of the US organization, Masayasu Sadanaga, initially targeted college campuses for recruitment by offering lectures on Buddhism. Sadanaga changed his name to George M. Williams in 1972, in obedience to the (short-lived) direction back then of Japanese leaders adopting American-sounding names (first AND last) in order to appeal more broadly to non-Japanese Americans.

The percentage of Oriental members steadily decreased as more and more white and black Americans joined NSA as seen in Figure 10, above.

Figure 10 (I'll get to that line in another post.)
Most of the original "Oriental members" were those Japanese war-brides, whose first efforts to recruit new SGI members were directed toward other Japanese individuals.

NSA members came from the major religious traditions of Protestantism (30%), Catholicism (30%), and Judaism (6%). At the time these 1971 statistics were compiled, all areas of American society. By 1983, the age span was even more broad, with 11% of the members age 50 and above, 62% ages 30-49, 24% ages 20-29, and 3% below age 19.

For reference, here are the age ranges for the existing generations in 1983:

• Greatest: Ages 59-82
• Silent: Ages 38-58
• Baby Boomers: Ages 19-37
• Generation X: Ages 4-18
• Generation Y (Millennials): Age 3 or younger.

While these 1983 statistics aren't broken down by generation, here's what is clear:

• 11% of the SGI-USA membership was MUCH OLDER than Baby Boomers
• 62% was either Baby Boom generation or older (though younger than that oldest group)
• 24% was Baby Boomers
• 3% was younger than Baby Boomers.

This means that 97% of the membership of SGI-USA was Baby Boom generation OR OLDER!

IN 1983!!

Notice how this affirms the demographic estimate from this other research: "Soka Gakkai in America": Little appeal/interest outside of Baby Boom generation

Take a look at Table 4.
Specifically, the Age cohort (%) category.
For the Converts, 26% are older than Baby Boomers; 61% are Baby Boomers. That makes 87% Boomer and older. Only 14% are younger than Boomers.
No wonder SGI-USA is aging and dying, with these kinds of numbers!
We are seeing, like, 90% Baby Boomers in the group photos we've looked at.
The pictures back this up.
Also, this comment by an SGI-USA leader a few years ago during Minoru Harada's visit (anyone know what year that was?):

They [top SGI-USA leaders] then went off on how when we create these big-ass meetings, we shouldn't have to look into the crowd and see, and I quote, "A bunch of old-ass motherfuckers" The words of my "superiors", not mine. I think this is when they brought up the idea of 50K to my co-leaders and me. Source

"Old-ass motherfuckers" is all they have. How 'bout showing a little of that appreciation and gratitude SGI bangs on about??
Worse, "old-ass motherfuckers" is all SGI-USA can get.
Further, again referring to Table 4, SGI-USA's membership is solidly 2/3 women. That means it's going to be very difficult for women in SGI-USA to find mates to marry, which means childlessness will be more of a norm than an exception. Child-free is a valid and respect-worthy decision, don't get me wrong, but a religion's most reliable source of younger members is its own membership's children. Since SGI-USA's female members don't feel any responsibility or obligation to bear multiple children (like those poor, stupid Mormon sheepwomen do), there won't be any next generation to take over.
There's a reason so many religions have traditionally exhorted their membership to have lots of babies, why they condemn birth control and abortion. A big part of it is to keep their own numbers up! Source

It's the same problem happening in Japan within the Soka Gakkai:

On the other hand, aging is relentless. In terms of the Soka Gakkai's membership demographics, the "volume zone" where most members fall is the baby boomer generation who joined by the 1960s. They are now late elderly. In the past, the management of centers in various places was handled by the "Gajokai" consisting of Young Men's Division members, but it is no longer possible to secure personnel. Instead, in 2009, the Soka Gakkai launched the "Ojokai'' consisting of "middle-aged divisions,'' scolding them as "young people in their 50s'' and rushing to mobilize them. Source

GOOD LUCK!

For perspective, note that SGI-USA was managing to recruit just "1,000 per YEAR" - including all ages - between 1991 and 1999. Eight years of only 1,000 members added per year, with no accounting for the deaths or defections. Were the years after that more successful, recruiting-wise? I doubt it.

[Then-SGI-USA's public-relations director for the East Coast Bill] Aiken says SGI-USA has attracted about 1000 new members per year for the past eight years. - from 1999. Only 1,000 new members - across the ENTIRE 360+ million-person strong USA - in an ENTIRE year. And this extremely low level of success for EIGHT YEARS IN A ROW!! Source

From 2018:

In recent years, the number of young Soka Gakkai members has been decreasing rapidly . Looking at the participants in the simultaneous broadcasts and roundtable discussions, the majority are of the grandparents' generation, with only a small number of young people in their 20s and 30s, and the number of teenage boys and girls is almost an endangered species .
Therefore, what I am interested in is the population of Soka Gakkai by age group. This time, I would like to estimate the current population of Soka Gakkai by age , based on information I have personally seen and heard and verification from others . Please note that this estimate is very rough.
First, the largest number of Soka Gakkai members are baby boomers (born between 1947 and 1949 [Japan's Baby Boom]). This seems almost certain considering the history of the development of Soka Gakkai .
Also, the total number of members has already been verified by many people, and is estimated to be around 3 to 5 million people. This time we assume about 4 million people .
And this is what I heard directly from a staff member at headquarters last year, who said , `` The number of activists decreases by about 1/3 with each generation.'' I think this is a reasonable rate of decline that can be felt by looking at participants in simultaneous broadcasts and roundtable discussions. It seems that members who have stopped being activists are less likely to have their children join, so this time we will use a value of 1/3 per generation as the member decline rate .
Also, regarding the number of years it takes for generational change, the average age for men and women to give birth to their first child is currently 30 years old. Considering that the average age of childbearing for both men and women when the baby boomer generation was born was 24 years old, and that there are cases where not only the first child but also the second and third children are born, the generational shift will take 30 years. Let's calculate it as if it would take a year . In that case, the annual membership attrition rate would be (1/3)^1/30 = 0.964, or 3.6% .
It is unclear when this trend of declining membership started, but this time we will assume that it started in the year following the baby boom generation (1950). Source

And "Soka Gakkai is like an old people's club":

Regarding the problem of a decline in Komeito votes, or in other words, a decline in active Soka Gakkai members, many people concerned point out that the primary cause is the aging of Soka Gakkai members. The enthusiastic members of the generation who supported the growth of the society along with charismatic Honorary President Daisaku Ikeda are now elderly across the board. Most of the current new members are second- or third-generation members who join because their parents are members of Soka Gakkai, and they are not very enthusiastic about Soka Gakkai's activities. Today, many of Soka Gakkai's daily events are even derided by insiders as "like an old people's party."

And a more recent report (this year):

Back about 20 years ago a good friend and good guy, now deceased, from ChiTown, was commissioned by SGI Central Command to survey every contactable member of SGI in every district in America. The number he came up with was 5% of the number of Gohonzon passed out since, I guess whenever Gohonzon started to be passed out. The total number was about a million give or take, 20 years ago. These were contactable people, not practicing members. I remember going through lists of people we had on the books and trying to see if they could be reached. So the number we came up with was reported. Hearing nothing about it, I happened to run into my friend at some event at Soka U. He mentioned that he did the survey, and gave me the results. I believe he told me the facts. (Not everyone who practiced was a lying asshole.) So about 20 years ago SGI had about 50,000 “contactable“ people who had received Gohonzon. My estimate that about half of that number had zero interest in SGI. Thus 20 years ago, SGI had about 25,000 members still interested in SGI in some capacity. I think it’s the same number today. (2500 districts x 10=25,000.) Like I said before I went to FNCC twice last year, and everyone, including me, were old zany seniors. Neither conference was for old people. Conclusion: SGI is a senior citizen support group. When I joined in1969, we were all hippie ish, rejecting all the old shit, looking for something new and hip. Now SGI looks like old shit. Source

And another (this year or last):

When I joined 50+ years ago the ratio of youth to MD and WD was about 80:20. Now it's the reverse. Our goal is to move steadily back to a youth focus again. Source

Except it's obvious that SGI-USA doesn't HAVE "20% youth":

Youth? They've got to be fooling themselves!!! When I was still with the SGI last February (2023), I went to the kosen-rufu gongyo meeting at the center in my area. Mind you, the state I live in closed its center in 2021 for undisclosed reasons. That aside, the one I went to was in another state, and at that meeting, they had no byakuren, Gajokai, or Soka Group in attendance. Additionally, the only youth at the meeting were a few small children. Source
I feel that SGI is out of touch with anyone who’s younger than 60. The leaders are retired, have a lot of time on their hands and completely disregard the fact that people may work or have families. For young people it’s the old people taking nonsense. Source

The PROBLEM was already evident in 1983 - and none of the SGI-USA's big "Recruit-Youth-A-Thons", like "Victory over Violence" and "Rock The Ego Era" and "50K Liars of Just-Us" (everybody wants to forget the epic fail that was the "Gandhi, King, Ikeda" exhibit), has made the slightest difference in this demographic disaster. In fact, preparing for the 2018 "50K" event, SGI-USA likely had only 2,451 members in the 12-35 (or perhaps 11-39) age group, just 9% of the most generous SGI-USA active membership total (~30,000).

Ikeda could have preserved a "youthful" Soka Gakkai by passing the Presidency to a younger candidate, but Ikeda refused, because Ikeda was too focused on and obsessed with HIMSELF - his power, his prestige, his wealth, his status, his fame, his renown, HIM becoming leader of the world, his PERMANENCY, and his legacy. He refused to let anyone else come anywhere CLOSE to the power and control - he greedily, selfishly clutched it all tightly to himself and refused to share.
THAT is why the Ikeda cult Soka Gakkai/SGI is aging and dying. It's ALL Ikeda's fault, Ikeda's responsibility. IKEDA DID THAT.
Some "mentor". Source

SGI-USA has never managed to recover from that demographic bottleneck that happened no later than 1983.

Hello, just a friendly discussion. I will ask you why, and you respond, or vice versa. Here is only a few reasons why I think Islam is true.

1. Proof of Islam. Qur'an corrects previous scriptures.

Eg:
In Genesis Joseph is quoted as saying "I will go up and speak to Pharaoh and say...". This is a historical error as Pharaohs did not exist at the time of Joseph and they only arrived on the scene during the New Kingdom. During Joseph's time the ruler was called "king", not Pharaoh.
Now, if the Quran was copying the Bible we should also find this error in the Quran but do we? Read surah Yusuf and Allah always refers to the ruler as "malik (king)", never Pharaoh. But when discussing Musa, Allah refers to the ruler as Pharaoh (which is correct as Moses lived during the time of the Pharaohs).
This is information we only found out recently through Egyptology and the study of hieroglyphics (i.e Rosetta stone).
How could Muhammad use the precise terminology and correct the previous scripture if he had no access to the information we have now? Esp considering the Jews who wrote Genesis lived way closer to the actual events, but still got it wrong.
https://www.britannica.com/topic/pharaoh
https://biblehub.com/genesis/46-31.htm

1. Also , Quran talks about people of Ad and Thamud and their prophets like Hud and Saleh, which are not found in Torah or Gospel. In fact, those were ancient Arab civilizations documented in Assyrian, Greek, Persian sources and Thamud have archaeological legacy like Mada'in Saleh and stone writings. These civilizations are extensively talks about in Quran, so I dare you bring a verse either in Torah or Gospel which ever talks about Ancient Arab societies. Quran even talks highly of Jewish prophets, whereas Torah counts their sins like David committed murder and adultery in Torah and Solomon worshiped foreign Gods, but Quran never attributes sins to prophets.

PS: Evolution is false, scientists are still trying to find out how we came into existence. Only we humans and monkeys share similar DNA. That's it.

This past weekend was a lazy weekend due to mothers day. We for the most part stayed at home (wife, daughter, and I) When I'm at home I wear for the most part graphic T shirts and when I'm out in public I prefer different clothing. Most of my graphic T's are video game related with some DBZ, religion, and political ones splashed in. On Saturday I was wearing my funny religious shirt. It a that has a sayings for different religions with shit happens mixed in.
For instance:
Catholicism - Shit happens because you're bad
TV Evangelism - Send more shit
Jehova's Witness - Knock Knock, shit happens
Rastafarianism - Lets smoke this shit
My wife's sister and family showed up unannounced. Just like normal I was happy to see them and let them in the house. I had gone to use the bathroom and before I got out of the room my wife asked me to change my shirt. I asked why and she said my shirt is making her sister and husband uncomfortable because of the funny quotes for the different religions. I told my wife that is their problem not mine and I wont be changing my shirt, I'm in my home and they can deal with it. I don't tell them what to wear in their home and if it was something I didn't like I would just be a grownup and deal with it. After company leaves my wife gets mad at me and said I should have just changed my shirt to be nice.

Hello world!
I've been on this sub for a long time at this point, but I'm very persistent! Umpteenth time's the charm? Let's see where this gets me!
Personality and background

• Currently living in Copenhagen (Denmark), but moving to Luxembourg City (Luxembourg) in early June. My geographical history is interesting, to say the least. Curious? Ask about it!
• I have a strong attraction for accumulating knowledge, regardless of method and type. As an example, I'm the type of person who will go back to a museum multiple times just to read the descriptions of every single exhibit. I'm never afraid to ask questions, even if they may be inappropriate; my curiosity knows no bounds.
• Most likely autistic and on the way to get a professional diagnosis. My brutal honesty, social challenges, keen interests and a lot of other little quirks line up perfectly with this.
• My favourite people quality is drive. I'll listen to someone rave about their special interest for hours, no matter what it is.

Interests

• Pokémon. EVERYTHING Pokémon, especially the main series games and TCG. Need someone to talk your ears off about Pokémon? Say no more.
• Blood on the Clocktower. The social deduction and strategy aspects of this mafia game are both fascinating. I play mostly on the unofficial server, but have also played in person. I also follow the official streams on Twitch.
• Dungeons and Dragons. I prefer spellcasters and have a strong chaotic good/neutral personality, both in and out of character. I'll seize any available chance to meme, quote, reference, pun, and all manner of other ridiculous things, just because I want to see the effects. I love surprise.
• Board games in general, digital art, and I want to learn how to play the violin someday.

I'm primarily looking for a partner but also open to friendships! If you're contacting me with the possibility of a relationship in mind, here are some things you should know about:

• I don't date long distance, my limit is about 3 hours travel one way. It's important for me to be able to see each other in person, ideally at least once a week or every other week. I'm somewhat flexible on the exact travel time, but please don't approach me with relationship intentions if you live outside of Europe and/or if you don't plan on ever leaving your home country; it won't work.
• I don't date parents and I'm childfree (this also means no adoption).
• My main love language is quality time, so I want someone who also enjoys spending time together in every form. If you share at least one main interest with me, that's a huge plus.
• You must love hugs because I WILL squeeze you with oh no, my weak nerd arms!

My preferred means of communication is Discord. I also have Telegram. If you want to chat, go ahead and send me your user ID so I can add you :) TTYL!

https://www.universiteitleiden.nl/en/news/2016/07/brains-react-differently-to-adhd-medication-than-expected
This link says Atomoxetine(Strattera) suppress brain activity rather than stimulating it which could explain why some users(including me) experience/experienced brain fog/confusion like symptoms the same effect induced by SSRI's
On delving further to the actual paper I find and I quote

Using a double-blind placebo-controlled crossover design, we pharmacologically increased synaptic catecholamine levels by administering atomoxetine, an NE transporter blocker, and examined the effects on the strength and spatial structure of resting-state MRI functional connectivity. First, atomoxetine reduced the strength of inter-regional correlations across three levels of spatial organization, indicating that catecholamines reduce the strength of functional interactions during rest. Second, this modulatory effect on intrinsic correlations exhibited a substantial degree of spatial specificity: the decrease in functional connectivity showed an anterior–posterior gradient in the cortex, depended on the strength of baseline functional connectivity, and was strongest for connections between regions belonging to distinct resting-state networks. Thus, catecholamines reduce intrinsic correlations in a spatially heterogeneous fashion.

Maybe this could be a reason for sudden occurrence of brain fog symptoms after we start Strattera ?

This post has the potential to be a bit long, so please bear with me...
A question I often ask myself is "are there financial planners for people like me who don't have a ton of money and often barely make ends meet?" So now, I guess I'm asking this sub. I don't know where to turn at this point in my life, which has been riddled with terrible financial decisions, bad luck, and family health issues.
About me: 39, male, USA. I work full-time for a health care company in Pennsylvania, making right around $88K yearly before taxes and deductions. My wife is unable to work due to a variety of health issues (both mental and physical), but does have a small Etsy shop that brings in an average of $300 on a good month. We have an unusually large family by today's standards -- 7 children ranging from 6 years old (twins) to 17. This is the part where people usually look at me like I have three heads, understandably so. Before my wife's health issues, she was a paramedic and in nursing school. So the plan was to eventually have two incomes once the kids were a bit older, but life didn't turn out that way. And before anyone asks, yes, we are done with having kids. I love them all more than life itself and would never imagine a world without them, but I am smart enough now to know that it would not have been this hard with fewer kids.
It's been very hard (nay, impossible) to get by on one income and a large family, even with some help from relatives along the way. But through it all, we have barely made it work, although I have shot my credit to hell and back in the process. My score hovers around 550 to 570 most of the time, but plummets pretty fast if I miss a payment on something.
Right now, high interest debt is my main issue. I have a variety of low-limit credit cards all maxed out (probably $5k total) a personal loan from OneMain Financial ($400 payment), an auto loan from Carvana/BridgeCrest ($508 payment, worst mistake of my life honestly but was in a desperate situation at the time), and student loans I've had to either defer or flat out stop paying. Other high expenses are groceries, obviously, but I do get $600 in SNAP benefits each month, car insurance at $250 per month because my wife has gotten into a few accidents the last 5 years, and of course rent, which is $1,900 since we need a 5-bedroom house for our large family. We used to own our home but were forced to sell in 2022 due to a variety of issues and our dire need to find a larger place to live for our growing kids.
Suffice to say, most months we either barely make ends meet, or don't at all. I sometimes have to rely on cash advance apps like MoneyLion and Earnin just to make it to the next payday. I have pretty much nothing in savings except for a very small "retirement" account, which is in quotes because I contribute 1% to it just to get my company match. I drained it a few years ago during an emergency that is too long of a story to tell here.
Everyone that I have talked to has said the same essential thing -- to look for a higher-paying job. While this is true, it's more complicated than that in reality. My current job (which I have been at for 1.5 years) affords me the flexibility to work from home most days, and understands that I need to care for my wife (who has substantial mental health issues) and kids and not be "on" 100% of the time. That is often more valuable than a higher salary, but I do know that I am capable and skilled enough in my field to eventually take a shot at a higher paying job.
So. What the heck do I do? Is there someone I can talk to about all this, who can give me real, practical advice? Would a credit union be able to help me with my high-interest debt yet terrible credit score/profile? Ideally, I would love to be able to consolidate all my debt into something more manageable. Is that even a possibility with my credit being bad? I get mail offers all the time saying I am "pre-selected" or pre-approved for a consolidation loan from some random company. I think these are all debt relief companies or possibly a scam, right? I am also severely underwater with our current vehicle as mentioned above. I owe probably 8k more than what it's worth right now, and the van is pretty much a lemon with how many problems it has.
Thank you for reading all this. I am a fairly positive person (I have to be, with the kids and taking care of my wife) but this feels pretty hopeless to me right now. I just wish I could hand over everything to someone who can manage my finances for me, and do the heavy lifting to get things under control. Sigh.

I remember seeing a quote like this but I can't remember if it's buddhist or something else.

Sister Pat tried to make vivid certain stories from the Gospels by setting up groups that were to frame the events as if the participants in the events were being interviewed live on television. Ok, one might think, how creative. Yet, one group was assigned to do the scenario of Jesus carrying the cross. A couple of girls pretended to cry into handkerchiefs, but one unpleasant girl, when asked by the student playing the reporter why she was there, she snarled, "I came to mock him. Ha!" Way too much into it. The processional hymn for the May Crowning was Sing of Mary. Because of its specific rhythm, we ended up practically skipping and waltzing. At an Easter Vigil Mass many years later my brother Steve Grunow before he became a priest, someone (I must say probably a folk guitar nun like Sister Pat), came up with the idea to have an elderly African American gentleman read the creation story with embellishments I think from some folk tale version? So he was saying that God was on his throne with a crown of stars and he got lost and kept repeating it, then he started saying Glory to God, and finally, I don't know what I am doing. He had to led down from the lectern. We did not know whether to laugh or cry. Mortifying. Later at the Mass a woman who looked like Maude practically shouted one of the readings. There were several catechumens receiving sacraments for the first time at this Mass. At one point during their reception into the Church we started saying the Litany of the Saints. Then I started hearing Saint Sandy, pray for us. Saint Tiffany, pray for us. What? So the catechumens were saints? Or perhaps we were supposed to think of them as potential saints? Monsignor Hayes burped very loudly after drinking the wine when I was serving at a daily Mass. He also yelled at a class because they did not know Hail Holy Queen. My mother when we told her, said, we'll, I don't know it either. Kids routinely fainted during the Benediction after the Stations of the Cross on Fridays during Lent. Sister Betty split us into groups during religion class. We were supposed to act out Jesus telling everyone the temple would be destroyed in three days. Kids were knocking down stacks of books and stacks of wastebasket. One day it was raining so instead of gym outside we had board game period with Sister Betty. The period was short so there was barely any time to set up, much less play the games. One group of jock boys decided to play the game of Life which takes a while to set up. Suddenly we were told to put the games away. This group frantically threw everything back in the box with the spinner on top, causing a bulge when they put the lid back on. Sister Betty noticed and yelled, "Fix that game. It's lumpy!"

Sorry, it's a long one, but I could really use your advice 😞. I'm not sure if I'm being paranoid due to my insecure attachment style and past relationship baggage, or if my gut feeling is onto something and I'm slowly losing it... My partner (46M) and I (40F) have been together for nearly a year, but so far, I've only met one of his friends and not a single family member on his side. He has met several of my friends. I have no contact with my family since almost 6 years, so he technically also never met someone of my family.
We met about a year and a half ago on a dating app geared towards casual dating. At that time, neither of us were looking for a serious relationship; we were just in it for some casual fun. On our first date, he mentioned he was still technically married but separated from his wife for about a year, and they shared a 13-year-old son. Since the separation, he's been staying with his parents, while his wife and son reside in the adjacent house. He never spoke ill of his wife, which is something I really appreciate.
He claimed it was love at first sight for him when he first met me, but I didn't feel the same way. I found him intriguing and attractive, but the idea of a relationship didn't appeal to me at that moment, mainly due to our lack of shared interests. He never pressured me and always respected my space, but he did actively pursue me. For every date we had, he brought food and flowers, even though we were just friends with benefits at that point. He also went above and beyond, helping me with various tasks like gardening, fixing my shower and car, all at his own expense. And even insisted on me not paying him back. He even picked me up in the wee hours of the morning when I was stranded in a bar with friends and couldn't find my way home, had medications delivered to my doorstep when we both had COVID-19 and couldn't meet, and these are just a few examples...
Our physical connection is fantastic, and he is very attentive to my needs. Surprisingly, from the beginning we also had dates without sex, despite that being our initial intention. Things quickly became emotionally and mentally intimate, and we started sharing more and more of ourselves. He treated me with more care and attention than anyone ever had, which initially set off alarm bells in my head, but his gestures continued, I just found myself enjoying his company immensely, both in and out of bed, feeling incredibly comfortable and happy with him. He always made me feel valued and appreciated, never failing to be loving and attentive. And to this day there has never been a single negative word or action from him towards me.
Around four months into our dating, he had to travel abroad for work for a week. During that time apart, I unexpectedly found myself missing him dearly, which came as a surprise because I wasn't looking for a serious relationship. One evening during that week, he insisted on hearing my voice, and we ended up talking on the phone all night. A few days later, I confessed to him that I missed him more than I expected and that everything felt strange, especially since I didn't even know his last name. In response, he admitted feeling the same way and expressed his desire to come over and properly introduce himself when he returned. True to his word, he showed up at my door late that night, despite his delayed flight.
However, what followed was a bombshell. As he sat on my couch, he handed me his ID, revealing not only his last name but also a different first name, birthdate, and birthplace. I was so stunned and literally nearly passed out. He had lied about his first name and was actually two years older than he claimed. Even details about his son, whom he claimed was 13, turned out to be false; the boy was actually 17. This revelation shook me to the core because I had never suspected he was lying to me. Being the child of an alcoholic, I prided myself on having keen intuition, but I had failed to detect his deceit. While I had actually suspected he was still married to his wife, his lies about his identity blindsided me. He apologized profusely that night, explaining that he didn't know how to come clean after lying for so long. But when I confronted him about his last name, he realized he couldn't keep up the facade any longer.
He confessed that he and his wife had indeed been living separate lives for a while, even agreeing to see other people. However, a woman he had met on the dating app years ago had stalked him, leading him to adopt a new identity to protect himself. He never intended to fall in love with someone and only sought casual arrangements. Although they broke up, he maintained proximity due to familial and business obligations, leading him to remain close to his family, and he committed to fulfilling his responsibilities towards them. His wife suffered from cancer a few years ago, which apparently returned at the beginning of this year.
The day after this revelation, he came to speak with me during his lunch break, begging for another chance. The following weekend, I met his best friend for the first time. Despite my shattered trust, I believed that he was sincere in his remorse and transparency, so we decided to it another shot and shortly after even committed to an official relationship. Things seemed to go well afterward; we even went on a vacation together, and he started spending more nights at my place. He continued to be incredibly supportive and attentive to my needs. However, he never made any efforts for me to meet his son, which I tried to understand given the sensitivity of the situation.
About three months later, I broached the subject of meeting his son again, but he claimed that he and his wife had agreed to wait until their son had settled into his first semester at university before introducing him to me. I had no children of my own so I have no experience with this, but friends of mine with adult children suggested that it was unusual to wait so long. Despite my doubts, I trusted his explanation, although I wondered if his family even knew about me. He told me that he was committed to his family until the end of the year and planned to move out thereafter. However, when the year ended, his mother caused a commotion when he moved out, leading to our first crisis over Christmas.
His parents insisted that he drive them to a city four hours away on Christmas Eve to celebrate with relatives, which disappointed me, but I understood. I assumed he would want to spend Christmas Eve with his son, so I suggested that we meet on Christmas Day instead to cook and spend a nice evening together. He informed me that his son didn't want to celebrate Christmas with the family anyway, so my suggestion was fine. Although we spent the evening before Christmas Eve together, our plans were disrupted when he insisted on going home instead of staying over as originally planned, leading to our first argument. He received a message from someone, read it, and his demeanor completely changed; he began to repeatedly look at the clock. When I asked, he said he needed to go home. I asked if I could read the message because I immediately had a bad gut feeling, but he declined and drove off. Despite feeling uneasy, I let it go until Christmas Day, when he arrived two hours late without prior notice. Also, I only rarely heard from him the entire Christmas Eve and most of Christmas Day, which is pretty unusual for him. This pattern continued after Christmas, with him becoming increasingly unreliable with his timing. After pressing him on the matter of meeting his son and family soon, he admitted that his family was resistant to the idea of accepting me due to their loyalty to his wife.
Our relationship hit another rough patch on Easter when he spent Easter Saturday with his son, arriving at my place much later than expected. Frustrated that I still hadn't met his son, I confronted him, leading to another argument and him storming off to his best friend's place without contacting me for the rest of the day. His lack of communication left me feeling hurt and confused, but we eventually reconciled after a few days. Even today, we're still crazy about each other and often behave like teenagers. But for some time now, I haven't been able to enjoy our meetings. I question everything he says and does, wondering, can I believe him? Can I trust him? He lied to me so skillfully at the beginning. Is what he says about his family even true? It feels like we're not making any progress. He insists it's exactly as he says. But over a year has passed, and it seems like nothing has changed. I just have to keep being patient and endure.
Actually, he never really settled into his own apartment. Everything is makeshift; there's no functional kitchen, no chairs... not even a mirror in the bathroom. Yet, we still occasionally sleep there. At first, it was amusing, but we’re both two old for this sh*t and the student apartment adventure ended for me after five months of stagnation. I really tried to make the best of it, and I'm actually really self-sufficient and easygoing. But it has become draining... He also sleeps at his family's place more often lately, and less frequently at my place...
What are your thoughts on this? Am I overreacting? Should I give him and his family more time? I'm feeling exhausted and grappling with my trust issues. Am I being paranoid, or is my gut feeling accurate? What steps should I take? Extend more patience? Show more understanding towards his son and family for their reluctance to get to know me? Consider giving him an ultimatum? I'm feeling lost.

A friend of mine started playing Fates for the first time, so once again I got bitten by the “complaining about Fates” bug. In particular, watching chapter 18 of Conquest again after so many years really got me going, and while the general consensus I’ve seen online about this chapters writing was negative, I wasn’t that satisfied by any of the overviews of it I read. I decided to give it a shot myself.
Dissecting why something doesn’t work is fun and all, but I think it’s also important to be constructive which is why I wanted to rewrite this chapter alongside my criticisms. I really do think there’s a lot of potential here that could have been the highlight of the entire story, and so I’d love to try my hand rewriting this chapter to be what it could have been rather than what we got. I have most of it done already, but Reddit only has so many characters before it cuts you off and this post is plenty long enough as is, so I’ll save that for another part coming up soon. This will be part 1, explaining what the chapter is and elaborating on my issues with it, while part 2 will be rewriting it along with my thought process and explanations.
Recap: https://fireemblem.fandom.com/wiki/Black_%26_White/Script
Corrin and Co are traveling when they decide to rest for the night at the nation of Izumo. They are greeted by Izana, the archduke of the kingdom, who seems to be a real goofball. After introducing himself, the levity is ended when it’s revealed the entire Hoshidan family has been invited here as well! Before any swords can be undrawn, Izana tells both parties that the kingdom has a strict neutrality pact neither of them can violate.
The scene cuts to later, where Ryoma enters Corrin and Xanders room to talk with them. Xander and Ryoma’s argument is cut short when Ryoma is dragged off by Nohrians. Turns out “Izana” is actually a Nohrian mage named Zola, who disguised himself to trick the Hoshidan royal family into a trap. Corrin and Xander don’t approve of such dishonorable methods to win, however, and fight to rescue their captives with Xander saying “we’ll win this war with honor or die trying”. After Leo kills Zola, the game cuts to later where we see Nohrians and Hoshidans alike having a meal, much to the delight of the real Izuma, who turns out is exactly as bizarre as the fake impression. Xander and Ryoma confirm with eachother that their fight will continue as usual, but Corrin states that no matter what happens they’re grateful they got to see both families eating together even if it’s not under the best circumstances, and the chapter ends with them saying they’ll revel in this feeling.
So on paper, I think this chapter is a great idea. Despite being at war, when one family is at the total mercy of the other, they lend a hand instead of kicking them while they’re down. This highlights how the two nations could accomplish so much together if only they weren’t at war with eachother. If utilized well, this could have been a great “eye of the tornado scene” emphasizing how tragic it is that these two families who share so much in common are forced by fate to fight eachother, making it all the more sorrowful when that’s brought to it’s conclusion through bloodshed. This would also encourage Conquest players to buy Birthright in a natural and subtle way as well now that they’ve had a nice sample of the other side. Of course, I don’t think this chapter was utilized well, and after reading the script again I believe it boils down to three major problems.
-Problem 1: The Lack of Worldbuilding Causes the Conflict to be Driven by Contrivances.
This is one of the many instances where the lack of fleshing out the world and it’s rules out really hampers the weight of the scenes. Unlike Awakening where there was a general cause-and-effect outlining the level structure, all of the Fates routes are much more individual and self-contained when it comes to chapters. This means the game has to really stretch itself to justify this elaborate setup being brought up and solved in one single chapter of regular length, and it’s very apparent when you write out the summary of events here.
Corrin and his army are just walking by when they happen upon the capital of the country. Corrin decides this would be a great place to rest for the night at and are instantly welcomed by its leader, who is also the only person in the game of that country. The entire Hoshidan family also just happen to bump into us because they coincidently came here at roughly the same time, with somehow neither party noticing the other until they were staring at eachother in the same room.
The only thing we know about this new nation we’ve never seen or heard about before is that it’s a peace-loving land with some sort of neutrality pact which means the two nations can’t fight here. What is the importance of this place that would entice all the Hoshidan royals to come over for a banquet in the middle of their country being invaded? Never explained. What exactly is this pact and what power does Izuno have to enforce it, if any? Never explained. Xander, prince of a nation at war and frontline general, has never heard of it. How does Garon or Iago never figure out or look into what happened here, considering the royals walked through their trap unharmed and everybody in charge of the trap vanished? Never brought up.
How many times here was this supposedly major event dependent on coincidences, seemingly important details left completely unexplained, and characters not knowing things that should be basic information of the world they live in? Things like all this quickly build up and make the world feel small scale and artificial, as if nothing truly exists until it’s in the peripheral vision of main characters. In a vacuum, this could all be excusable if the main meat of the chapter was just so dense and important that they just want a convenient excuse to delve into it. But about that…
-Problem 2: Nothing happens, either character-wise or plot-wise.
This is the only scene in both Birthright and Conquest where all eight of the royal families are together in one spot, and they’re unable to fight eachother. What a brilliant idea! How many great scenes could you come up with from this setup alone? How many directions could this move towards?

-The families bonding over their memories with Corrin (X)
-Calling eachother out for uncool actions, like Ryoma refusing to help Elise or Nohr siccing monsters on farming villages (X)
-Working together to defeat some threat they’d have trouble taking down on their own (X)
-Some cultural exchange (X)
-Some melancholy scene where, even if there’s a lot of resentment, they acknowledge how this may be the last time they ever get to have a meal with Corrin. (Somewhat?)
-Corrin sits down and has a mature conversation with his birth family elaborating on their choice to stay with Nohr (X)
-Some negotiation or debate between the two families about the future of their countries relationship, successful or not (X)
-Corrin being formally declared by the Hoshidan royals as a Nohrian, officially cutting them out of the family (X)

So what does Conquest do with this prompt? It does the unexpected route where all of them but Ryoma are shuffled out as soon as they’re introduced, captured offscreen, rescued offscreen, most of their dinner is offscreen, finishing their meal and leaving is offscreen, all of them sans Ryoma have barely any dialog, and none of them are even present in any of the CG’s.
We actually start off strong, Ryoma and Xander naturally puff out their chest and don’t get along when they’re in the same room, but seem to calm down when Corrin elaborates on how similar they are to eachother. But the game is so eager to get to fighting that it drags Ryoma away kicking and screaming before he even gets to share what he had to say to Corrin, let alone explore what having common ground means to the two of them.
1) I understand this is the Nohrian route so it makes sense the focus is mostly on them, but Takumi only gets three lines here, one of which is “…” Hinoka also only gets three lines, which I think is still more than she got in Birthright, and two of those lines are “You!” and “What are you doing here?”. Sakura lucks out as she’s the only sibling on either side who has anything to say whatsoever when Corrin says they’re grateful they could share another meal with the Hoshidans. That’s a start, but the fact remains Ryoma is the only sibling in the chapter whose remotely relevant, the rest could be omitted and nothing would change. They are only here to be damsels in distress heightening the stakes of defeating the local bad guy rather than providing any character development, checking up on how they are doing without Corrin and Azura, comparing and contrasting their differences between their counterparts, sharing any new information about them, foreshadowing Takumi’s possession, any notable interactions with their counterparts, etc. But no, nothing happens.
2) I also understand this is a video game and they don’t have all the time in the world before the next fight has to happen, yet Conquest is oddly completely uninterested in it’s own set-up. Zola, a minor chapter boss introduced and killed in this chapter, has more screentime and relevance here than any of the siblings, something you’d think would be the actual meat of the chapter they’d want to delve into.
The implications and weight of two dueling nations and families obligated to pause their fighting and dine with eachother could easily take up two or even three chapters as a pivotal arc, yet it’s completely blazed through as if the game considered it a cute novelty rather than a potential life-changing or history-changing moment. Simply put, it’s wasted potential, as if to say “Oh both of the two families meeting in a game about choosing between mutually exclusive families? Eh whatever.”
I wanna stick with just this chapter and not rewrite a good chunk of the entire story, but I can’t stress enough that in any other game this chapter would be the plot-defining moment paving the new way forward rather than chapter 15’s “we’ll expose Garon as a monster by helping him invade an innocent people.”
Neither of the two families are fighting because they outright want to, this isn’t a war about irreconcilable differences or mutually exclusive goals, the only reason for any conflict whatsoever as far as the game has shown us is that the guy in charge of Nohr is a sociopath who threatens to kill his own children at the drop of a hat. Sure, they probably won’t hold hands singing kumbaya after one extended conversation with eachother, but when all of them are in a truce far away from Garon’s authority having a meal together, nothing significant comes out of it plot-wise?
In fact, at the end of the day what significance happened here at all?

• -We learned about a new country, but we know very little about it and (other than Izama potentially joining the party later) absolutely none of it will be relevant after this chapter anyways.
• -Well, maybe this place is just set dressing so we have an excuse to meet up with our siblings again, but then nobody has any meaningful interactions, new info to share, planning ahead, or character development resulting from sharing scenes with them.
• -Then is the primary focus supposed to be on how this situation affects the Nohrian family? The antagonist and the conflict he brings is introduced and quickly solved without any consequences, with all the siblings instantly in agreement about stopping him. They don’t really talk amongst eachother about their feelings or how to go forward.

If there’s no juicy character interactions or exploration, and no setting up future events, then presumably the point of this big moment of Corrin and Xander leaping to save their enemies was made to show off that despite working in the same army, our heroes are indeed better than the swarms of war criminals under Nohr’s name we’ve seen and would never tolerate such things under normal circumstances. They’ve talked the talk about disagreeing with their father’s cruel methods, now here’s proof they’ll walk the walk, aren’t they such noble people? The way this is done however, opens up another can of worms…
-Problem 3: Protags come off as dicks
While our heroes are indeed more likeable and moral than blatant monsters like Garon and Hans, liking peace and disliking war crimes is not enough of a reason for a pat on the back. Our protags might not be burning villages for fun, but it’s difficult to take their proclaimed goal of peace seriously considering both the context of working for people who DO burn villages for fun and they way they handle themselves when presented with an opportunity to work on this supposed goal.
Corrin and Azura

• This is not seeing things under the worst possible interpretation to be a stick in the mud, Nohr is indeed invading Hoshido for no apparent reason and leaving war crimes wherever it’s armies go. Everybody in the building is aware of this to some extent.
  
• Azura and Corrin’s grand plan to expose Garon as a slime monster to his family indeed involves directly helping Garon conquer Hoshido, which they acknowledge will bring destruction and suffering that the nation and royal family have done nothing to deserve.
  
• Corrin and Azura are indeed presented with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity here to sit down behind closed doors and communicate anything, just anything significant at all, to the royal family that still seems to value them, but our heroes don’t even try or seem to acknowledge that. Corrin doesn’t have any interactions with them that last more than a sentence or two, and Azura is never acknowledged nor speaks to them.
  
• And yet despite, all this, both Corrin and Azura are quite pleased with the turn of events here, with Corrin acknowledging they’ll “probably try to kill eachother next time they see eachother” but that they’ll “revel in this feeling.”
  

Azura in particular is problematic here. During Odovakar 's excellent overview of the problems with Fates writing, he goes into detail about how Azura’s line about “this is all quite heartwarming. We're like one big family...albeit, a dysfunctional one.” in particular comes off as incredibly tone deaf and tasteless given the circumstances of Azura and Corrin marching on one family’s homeland for the sake of the other family. What I think was also worth noting is the context leading up to that line…

Sakura: I was just, um...th-thinking...it's really nice to finally see you again. I'm glad you... I'm glad you f-found a way to be happy... Corrin: Sakura... I'm happy to see you too. Sakura: R-really? You mean it?! Oh, Corrin! Elise: HMPH! Back off, you! He/She's my brothesister! MINE! Sakura: Ah! I'm s-sorry! Corrin: Elise! Mind your manners, little one. Elise: But she's trying to take you away from me... She's my archnemesis

Whether intentional or not, this is actually a very clever microcosm of the family’s conflict acted out by the youngest and most innocent among them who probably weren’t even born when the conflict started. The Hoshidan loves their sibling, but their time with Corrin is interrupted by the Nohrian shoving them away and declaring Corrin for themselves. This is a great way to challenge our protags to some introspection about themselves.

Azura: Heehee! Corrin: Azura? Did you just...giggle?

Instead, Azura just finds this a real knee-slapper. I understand maybe this is just meant to be a cute image of imoutos fighting over oni-chan Corrin and nothing more, but the context makes it very hard to swallow the narrative’s insistence that all this is “heartwarming” as Azura puts it. Keep in mind that all the Hoshidan nobles are sitting at the same table watching all this. Do you think Ryoma also finds it funny that his little sister is scared off and declared an archnemesis by the daughter of the man who killed his father in cold blood? Do you think Hinoka also thinks it's like one big dysfunctional family when Corrin is preparing to march on her homeland with an army?
I get it, I totally know what they were going for, and in a vacuum it could be a great line making for a properly bittersweet moment. “Even if the two are at eachothers throats and the future is bleak, me and Azura are grateful we get to have at least one big normal dinner together like a real family.”
But the future is bleak because of Corrin and Azura participating in an invasion, the families are at eachothers throats partially because Corrin and Azura haven’t accomplished anything to reform Nohr. If anything, Corrin should feel great shame here. Elise just unintentionally reenacted the history between the nations where Nohr was clearly in the wrong, and Corrin is sitting directly across and staring at the family who’ve done nothing wrong to him yet are going to be hurt because of Corrin’s decision. Grateful they could spend time with them again? Maybe. But cheerful and laughing?

ProZD: D-did an alien write this game? blows gently

But at least Corrin doesn’t show outright contempt for the family they’re screwing over…
Xander and Leo

Xander: Corrin! There's no need to insult me like that. I could not possibly be anything like this sorry excuse for a prince. … Xander: We will win with honor or die trying. Come, Corrin. Let us go set free our sworn enemy. … Corrin: Heh, sorry... It's just that you and Ryoma really are so much alike. If you weren't on opposite sides of a war, I think you could have been great friends. Xander: Yeesh... Do me a favor and keep that nonsense in your head where it belongs. … Xander (to Ryoma): We only acted as Nohrian royals should. When we leave this place, you'll be nothing but an enemy to be defeated once more.

Okay, but why? Ryoma is not the one Xander overheard laughing to himself about how much he’s going to make Corrin suffer. How are the Hoshidan royals “nothing but enemies to be defeated” here when they’re just trying to defend their homeland from somebody who assassinated their king at a peace meeting? Where is all this contempt from Xander coming from?
It’s perfectly understandable he doesn’t get along super well with Ryoma because of the tensions between their nations, that makes sense, but I see no reason for why Xander is making several petty insults to his face unprompted, let alone so nonchalant and even somewhat eager to get back to waging a war Xander himself calls “a senseless war of greed and madness” in the epilogue.
He doesn’t treat his own people much better this chapter, declaring Zola and his henchmen as “traitors” to be “dealt with” for their dishonorable methods when ironically Zola taking over the country by disguising himself as the archduke is actually one of the least evil and self-destructive things we’ve seen the kingdom do so far. It must be emphasized that every sibling was in the same room watching Garon demand Xander kill Corrin if he interferes with killing POWs for his amusement, and half of them were in the same room when Garon ordered his henchmen to murder every singer they can find in a neutral country. So a few hundred or thousand innocent people, most of whom would presumably be young woman, murdered to snuff out potential assassins. Or Garon directly ordering the deaths of unarmed civilians in chapter 13 with Hans relaying “Villagers are just soldiers who haven’t picked up a sword yet.”
Xander talks a big game in this chapter about how “we’ll win this war with honor or die trying”, but how do you honorably win a war when your nation is constantly and openly rushing to pointless overkill brutality like this at every turn? What moral high ground does this country have that Xander is so determined to preserve he kills loyal soldiers over what he sees as sullying it, when at no point in the game does the influence of Nohr ever do anything but make life significantly worse? His sudden fervor towards doing the right thing is completely contrasted later on when Xander is the one telling Corrin there’s no justice to be found in war and you just gotta do what you gotta do rather than what’s morally right, in response to Corrin being upset the Nohrian army is killing woman and children who looked at them funny.

“Justice is an illusion, a fairy tale…Letting innocents die is a tragedy, but so is letting the chance for peace slip away. This is war. There is no such thing as a clean win when lives are on the line.”

“Justice is just a fairy tale, innocent people getting screwed over is something we have to accept in war because there’s no such thing as a clean win! But also we better win this senseless war of greed and madness with honor or die trying!”

• If “justice is an illusion”, how is killing Nohrian soldiers to free people who are apparently “nothing but enemies to be defeated” so you can fight them later on terms you prefer, directly prolonging a war which will lead to much more deaths on both sides, for the benefit of Nohr? By Xanders own logic, is this not letting the chance for peace slip away since there’s no such thing as a clean win? Forget Garon and Iago, I’m confident the citizens back home whose loved ones got conscripted would be the ones demanding his head if they found out about this. A very charitable interpretation is that ending the war this specific way will cause more chaos and fighting in the long-term compared to if they conquered and oppressed an innocent nation fair and square, but that’s nowhere to be found in the script whatsoever.
  
• If Xander believes in “We’ll win this war with honor or die trying”, why is he still following Garon? Garon is winning the war in part thanks to honorless and extreme acts of cruelty like blackmailing the Ice Tribe or making an example out of Scarlet’s body, yet instead of taking action against him like he does with Zola, Xander is instead the most loyal sibling to him to the point Corrin decides the best way to get him on his side is to expose Garon as a literal slime monster? Where’s Xander’s zeal of “Come Corrin, let’s go save our sworn enemies” when his father orders Hans is go through killing injured and surrendering foes who were promised they be spared? Where’s his conviction shown here about “not letting treachery go unpunished” when his father outright says he couldn’t care less about the welfare of his people and he’ll just kill anybody who complains to make an example?
  

I understand one might get the impression I’m going off topic or selectively picking and choosing quotes here from all over the game, but no matter how you look at it Xanders beliefs, morality, and priorities are just all over the place depending on what the plot needs him to do. This means not only is his motivation for helping his enemies here faulty no matter how you look at it, but it also makes the extreme lengths he goes to do so, killing his own subjects who won him victory on a silver platter because it wasn’t a “proper” victory, come off as baselessly self-righteous at best and outright cruel at worst.
I’m sure the game would assure us Zola and all his mooks are terrible people who had it coming, but the issue is no matter how virtuous you portray Xander and creepy you portray Zola, Xander is still directly managing the war for a megalomaniac and helping him achieve his goals in spite of his long history of open sadism and public crimes that make Zola look like a saint. By ignoring the clear root cause of Nohr's dishonor while going this hard against random goon's participating in dishonor, instead of being a gallant preserver of morals, he comes off like a bully who selectively picks and choices punishment.
On the topic of punishment, it particularly rubs me the wrong way how Leo just casually mercs Zola at the end, keep in mind Birthright confirms for all his faults he actually isn’t a complete monster like Garon and dies trying to help the protag.

Leo (smiling portrait): You’d probably rather die than live with the shame, correct? In that case…
Zola: Eek! No, please! M-m-milord... I was wrong! S-so wrong! I have seen the error of my ways! P-please...spare my unworthy life!!
Leo (still smiling): Make peace with it, Zola. Perhaps on the other side you will find forgiveness.

Leo makes a fair argument that the stakes are too high and Zola can’t be trusted not to snitch, but this is bit sadistic, no? One of the most powerful people in the country is smug and sarcastic as he’s getting ready to execute somebody whose bleeding on the ground begging for his life and genuinely confused as to why we’re upset with him. I know the intent of “I was wrong! I have the seen the error of my ways!” is supposed to be him saying whatever Leo wants to hear to weasel out of punishment, but that’s exactly the thing, he’s fully cooperating and doing everything he can to appease this guy. And then he’s just killed like a dog without trial or final words, presumably using the spell that skewers you with tree branches.
Didn’t the game use killing defeated foes like this to establish Garon as a bloodthirsty monster? Why is Corrin just standing there watching this happen? This exact same scenario in Birthright has them jump to spare Zola, but here their disapproval is very meek and only voiced after the deed is already done. It’s still apparently too much for Leo though, who chastises Corrin for being “too soft…I envy your innocence.” And then he declares the matter settled on their behalf.
I’m sure this scene was meant to show off Leo’s pragmatism and strategy skills, but it just makes him look like a sociopath and Corrin look spineless. And that’s the biggest issue with this chapter to me, more than the plot being driven by contrivances that aren’t explained or the lack of any character development or interesting scenes taking advantage of the setup, the actions and dialog of our protags don’t match the noble heroes the narrative insists they are:

• Corrin is openly enjoying spending time with innocent people they’re throwing under the bus so Corrin won’t have to risk their relationship with the Nohrian siblings by directly fighting Garon. They then clearly disapprove of Leo executing a surrendering foe begging for mercy but stand idle watching it happen.
• Azura sits directly across her former family who’ve been very negatively impacted by her decisions and actions, and will continue to be so in the future, yet she’s giggling about the conflict and doesn’t seem to be taking the fact that her two families might kill each other seriously.
• Xander insults Ryoma as a sorry excuse for a prince, and afterwards kills his own subjects to prolong a war of aggression so it can be won the way he personally wants it to be won.
• Leo seems to be having a good time killing somebody who’s surrendered and begging for his life. He then chides Corrin for being “too soft” when they wish that didn’t have to happen.
• And again, for no apparent reason, neither Corrin or Azura do the bare minimum to clue to the Hoshidans about what’s going on or even have a meaningful conversation with them despite claiming to care for them. This is the golden opportunity they were hoping for, yet they apparently spend the entire dinner instead talking to eachother about how happy they themselves are.

These are not the actions of heroic characters.
Summary: Overall, this is a very bizarre chapter. It feels like something meaningful happens here at first glance, your brain sees what’s going on and knows that this is supposed to be a huge moment. Peaceful music playing, a very well-drawn CG of dozens of individual units, liberating a country from Nohrian control, Corrin and Azura are happy and say some lines that sound like they should be deep and impactful.
But when you step back and analyze the bigger picture and context, you find that more or less embodies all of Fates writing, both good and bad. It has a brilliant premise that gets your mind going, excellent presentation to accompany it, and some individual scenes or dialogue in a vacuum are very welcome. If you’re a casual player who just wants context for your favorite characters fighting, it’s easy to feel satisfied at first glance and move on thanks to those factors, especially since the gameplay and MyCastle are very fun. At the same time, there’s no denying the severe flaws that hamper the experience.
Despite being the hyped-up main draw of the chapter, our exciting premise that opens so many doors is almost completely neglected in favor of (once again) exposition on meaningless settings and characters that aren’t relevant anywhere else and also reminding us how evil Nohr is, to the point the chapter title is Black and White. The context makes it very difficult to take the plight of our heroes seriously due to their lack of action (both before and in the present) to achieve their proclaimed goal despite ample opportunity, the proaction they do have being unnecessarily extreme and self-serving, and a narrative that insists they are in the right at every turn despite the results clearly showing us otherwise. There’s definitely bits and pieces of something great buried in all this teasing us, otherwise I wouldn’t be interested enough to write this much all these years later, but as is it’s just a mess. An enjoyable mess, but a mess all the same.

But what do you guys think of Conquest Chapter 18: Black and White? Do you also consider it a wreck, or was there something positive here you believed I missed? What would you like to see in a potential rewrite of it?

hi guys, it's my first post here, but i've been browsing Catholicism for months now haha.
long story short, i've had a really long journey with my faith. as a kid, i was raised with catholic influence -- although my parents were not catholic, my aunts, uncles, and cousins were all catholic. therefore, i would attend mass and other services with them. however, the church i went to did not particularly like me for some reason, and they would bully and make sundays miserable for me (a memorable example was being locked in the church basement, where i'd miss mass, and they would make a scene with other kids on how i am a sinner, and that i was destined to hell).
obviously i hold no bitter feelings now, but the bullying and ostracization of feeling "not catholic enough" played a huge role. and since the bullying did not stop, i just stopped showing to the church altogether. with this, i went to live a pretty okayish life for almost a decade, where i had no ties to any faith, and was content. however, during my senior year of high school, rumors spread about me and i lost my friends over something that did not happen. and since almost no one cared to hear nor defend me, i felt insanely lonely.
alone once again, i would eat lunch with my AP english lit teacher frequently and prayed that i would just power through this madness and graduate. desperate for any connection, i ended up finding an anti-theist friend, who pried on my fear of the catholic church, and regrettably, i digested what he had to say. i had rhetoric of how religion was used for hateful reasons and stood by my atheism/agnosticism.
this weaponized fear followed me to college, until i met a staff member at my university at my lowest point that changed everything. she was graceful and forgiving with me. she would be a shoulder for me to cry on whenever i felt uneasy about an exam or my future career. not only that, but my other catholic friend, whom i was so rough with, also showed me patience and prayed for my safety and wellbeing without asking. they both softened up my edges with no judgement for the last ~2 years, and i am eternally grateful.
with this, i want to note that i do regret the things i've done. although they were not aggressive by any means, it was still wrong to passively shame any faith. however, there is not much i can do but learn and grow from my mistakes imo. not only that, but i wanted to share that i did go to church for easter for the first time in a decade. although the staff member was protestant, and i enjoyed easter very much with her, she served as a stepping-stone and have slowly encouraged me to return to the catholic church. i promised and attended mass almost weekly in my last month for april and have reached out to an RCIA coordinator to essentially finish this journey.
my question is that i am actually not even sure on what to do in the meantime... i am back home and my parents are very supportive of me in this decision, but i do not drive frequently and my parents work long hours daily, so it would be difficult to attend anything. the RCIA program starts at my college town, but i return back in 3 months. i was gifted a gorgeous rosary that i am praying to and have been trying to rebrush up on the bible, but it's a bit hard to digest the old testaments. so i am just wondering, is my best option to just read and pray? or should i do something else while i wait for september to come?

Im writing not necessarily because of me but for my bf. My bf and I have been together for almost a year and my "MIL" has consistently been manipulative and abusive to her son and my bf. My bf works 5/7 days a week, has his own car and a 3.6 GPA. He is very responsible and mature for someone of his age. His mother grew up in a nice house with a nice family and ruined her life at 15. Dropped out of HS and moved to FL to do drugs. She got pregnant with my bf at 19 with a shitbag. They went through problems with custody for 5 years until my 8 year old bf told the judge he wanted to switch houses every week. They did that until he was 13 and he basically cut his father off because he is awful. His mother believes she is so much better than his father because she went back to school and got a degree (in accounting). This is all background knowledge though. At the begining of our relationship I really wanted to be on good terms with her because I have had abusive MIL before and im not saying we have a bad relationship (mind you i dont see her too much) but its mainly about what she does to my bf. He wants to be the best man possible so he will try to be but she demands wayyyy too much and is extremely emotionally immature. She has done multiple things to ruin our days together. She will always call when we are out and demand we come and do something with her even if my bf told her that we had plans that day. She ruined our easter by demanding we come see her and grounded him over our 6 months. But that's not the worst. They get into arguments and she is extremely abusive with her language saying stuff about "Im never letting you see your gf again" "your just like your dad" whenever she feels her argument isnt logical. She will hit him but if he pushes her off she tells the whole family hes abusive. Its very upsetting for my bf. He just wants her to be proud of him. He has a car and she will demand that he drive 30 min there and back to pick his brother up from day care and not pay him a dime. She doesnt pay for anything for him anymore anyway beside his car insurance. She expects flowers after arguments and cries when something doesnt go her way. She believes that my bf should do everything for her and that he somehow owes her and continually ruins our plans (almost everytime). I try to tell him to push back and not just argue but he doesnt understand. There is no moments where she has been flat out rude to me but she still likes to talk bad about me to my bf. I know none of this is extreme like some peoples but its really undermining our relationship. I just want my bf to be comfortable in his own house

u/Eshgh-Mojarad
Per our discussion i want to start with couple of quotes i read on AZQuotes. The quotes are:
1- I saw grief drinking a cup of sorrow and called out, 'It tastes sweet, does it not?' 'You've caught me,' grief answered, 'and you've ruined my business. How can I sell sorrow, when you know it's a blessing?
2- Whenever sorrow comes be kind to it. For God has placed a pearl in sorrow's hand.
Perhaps the quotes are taken from longer Ghazals? What is Rumi trying to say in these two quotes?
Thanks.

Summary

Slovak PM Robert Fico, a pro-Putin populist, has been shot multiple times while visiting small Slovakian town Handlová. Politico reported he was hit in the head and chest. Aktuality.sk reports he was shot once in the stomach and twice in the arm. A 71-year-old former security guard has been arrested. Fico was transported to a hospital in Banská Bystrica. There was a planned rally in Handlová to protest the controversial overhaul of Slovakia's radio and TV services. That rally has now been canceled by the organizers.
JPDU - Video: the moment Slovak PM Robert Fico was shot by a 71-year-old former security guard
JPDU - Video from the scene right after Slovak PM Robert Fico was shot

Background

Why is all this relevant?
Slovakia used to be part of Czechoslovakia. Hitler occupied the Sudetenland region of Czechoslovakia in 1938 after France and the U.K. ceded control. After WWII, Czechoslovakia became a communist state under de facto Soviet tyranny via the Warsaw Pact. Four Warsaw Pact countries invaded Czechoslovakia in 1968 in response to the Prague Spring. In 1989, when the USSR started collapsing, the Velvet Revolution restored democracy. Czechoslovakia dissolved in 1992 into the Czech Republic and Slovakia. The capital of the Czech Republic is Prague (which I visited and regard as the most beautiful city I've ever seen) and the capital of Slovakia is Bratislava. Slovakia borders Ukraine directly and is geostrategically important.
Robert Fico is a highly controversial pro-Putin populist attempting to mimic Viktor Orbán's takeover and de-democratization of neighboring Hungary to the South. Quoting from a Politico article from March this year:

Fico is “trying to create a mafia state … where the primary goal is to keep the pyramid of power functioning,” Michal Vašečka, a political analyst at the Bratislava Policy Institute said.

And:

Explainer: Who is Robert Fico?
Robert Fico, Slovakia’s prime minister, was shot today in the town of Handlová, where he had been meeting supporters, and taken to hospital.
Born into a working-class family on 15 September 1964, Fico – a lawyer by profession – began his political career with the Communist party shortly before the 1989 Velvet Revolution that led to the breakup of former Czechoslovakia.
He set up his centre-left Smer-SD party in 1999 after being turned down for a ministerial post by the Democratic Left, the Communists’ political heirs.
Embroiled in allegations of corruption he has always denied, Fico is brash and outspoken, with a penchant for bodybuilding, football and fast cars.
Fico admires both Vladimir Putin, saying he would not permit the Russian president’s arrest under an international warrant if he came to Slovakia, and Hungary’s illiberal leader, Viktor Orbán, “who defends the interests of his country and his people”.
The Smer leader is also a tactician: in a three-decade career, he has navigated successfully between mainstream, pro-EU positions and a fiercely nationalist, anti-western rhetoric destined mainly for domestic consumption, proving more than willing to change tack depending on public opinion or political reality.

Source: The Guardian live thread
So far, this assassination attempt looks like a godsend for Russia and Vladimir Putin.

Recap

Here’s a recap of everything we know about the shooting so far:

• Slovakia’s prime minister Robert Fico was shot multiple times during a visit to the town of Handlova where he was seen greeting supporters moments before the attack.
• The 59-year-old Putin ally was rushed to a local hospital and has now been airlifted to Banská Bystrica hospital.
• He is in a life-threatening condition, with the next few hours said to be crucial.
• A man was detained at the scene and is in police custody.
• European leaders have condemned the attack, with Rishi Sunak saying: “Shocked to hear this awful news. All our thoughts are with Prime Minister Fico and his family.”
• The shooting comes just three weeks before the crucial European Union Parliament elections.

Source: The Guardian live thread
Updating as we go along.

Reports

Source	Title/Link	Timestamp (UTC) (Descending)
The Guardian - YouTube (unlisted)	Slovakian PM wheeled into hospital in Banská Bystrica after helicopter transfer	2024-05-15T15:22Z
HNOnline.sk	Assassination of Fico: The Prime Minister was shot in Handlova, he needs emergency surgery	2024-05-15T13:50Z
Politico	Slovak Prime Minister Robert Fico shot in head and chest, reports say	2024-05-15T13:31Z
The Guardian	Slovakia prime minister Robert Fico shot and injured	2024-05-15T13:25Z
BBC	Slovak PM Fico in hospital after being shot	2024-05-15T13:11Z
AP	Slovakia’s prime minister wounded in shooting	2024-05-15T13:07Z
Reuters	Slovak PM Fico shot and injured, TASR agency reports	2024-05-15T11:47Z

Live threads

Source	Title/Link	Latest
The Independent	Slovakia PM shooting latest: Putin ally Robert Fico taken to hospital after gunman attack	Slovakia’s PM rushed inside hospital after attempted assassination
The Guardian	Slovakia’s prime minister Robert Fico shot in abdomen and undergoing surgery – Europe live	The EU foreign policy chief, Josep Borrell, has said he is “shocked” by the news of the attack on Robert Fico.
Sky News	Slovakia Prime Minister shot - latest: Robert Fico suffers 'brutal' assassination attempt, says president; leader in hospital	Vladimir Putin has called the shooting a "monstrous" crime which has "no justification". In a telegram to outgoing Slovak President Zuzana Caputova, the Russian leader said: "I know Robert Fico as a courageous and strong-minded man. "I very much hope that these qualities will help him to survive this difficult situation."Mr Putin wished Mr Fico - who has been an ally of the Russian president - "a speedy and full recovery".

Previously on Robert Fico

• Politico - Slovakia’s Fico plots to dismantle the free press (2024-05-11)
• Politico - Slovakia, the EU’s next rule of law headache (2024-03-20)
• NOEL Reports - Prime Minister of Slovakia Robert Fico with an appalling video statement regarding the anniversary of the full scale war in Ukraine (2024-02-24)

I live with my partner and his parents and have for the past 5 years. (this is for financial reasons only) Towards the beginning of our relationship I had no problems with his mom. I had heard one of his sisters say that she talked sh** about me and would call me names such as white trash and I kind of just glossed over it as its he said she said, but I definitely believed it. Over time I would hear more things, whether I overheard straight from her mouth talking to my partner or someone else telling me (mostly my partner if she said something to him while I wasn't around)
On Easter Sunday this year she came home and started yelling at me in the middle of the street and waving her hands/fingers in my face whilst doing so. She was going off on me saying her issues with me are me using the bathroom and doing laundry. (LMAO Crazy. I know.) She told me I wasn't apart of the family that I have been very much apart of for the past 5 and a half years and kept going as we went in the house to complain about more. I felt attacked so I started crying and was just kind of like what is your problem and my partner separated me from her and we left.
She took no accountability for the situation moving forward and gave the most fake least effort apology in the world. I have a saying that I like that goes "the apology should be as loud as the disrespect." She glossed over it, somehow blamed it on his father and then proceeded to ask me to buy her a birthday cake all in the same conversation.
A few weeks go by and now Mother's day is coming up. My aunt had texted me for plans previously and I had expressed that to my partner. His mom approached me one morning and asked if we had plans and I told her we were going to a brunch my aunt planned and her response was "we can do something on Saturday then," only after she said "What about me?". Let me just say we have spent EVERY holiday with them for 5 1/2 years so I don't think its wrong if my partner spends some time with mine?
One day she doesn't think I am home and is talking to my partner about mothers day and he responded that he has plans with me and my family. Her response was to tell him not to go and that I can go see my mom and he can spend time with his. At that point I opened my door and said to her " I told you the other day that we had plans with my family, the fact that you just went behind my back and tell him not to go is really rude. She proceeded to look at me like I had 5 heads and called ME disrespectful. I told her that what she did was wrong and honestly hurt my feelings because why would she do something like that like why can't she just say okay have fun with your girlfriends family, like there is just no maturity at all and the sense of entitlement is crazy.
That confrontation turned into a fight where she was shhing me and telling me to shut up. She told me I will never cut the umbilical cord from her and her son and I can never take away a mothers relationship with her son? Like really crazy sh** and I'm just sitting there thinking like how does her brain even work like why does she think like this and act like this. She even went as far to say to me "You don't have a ring on your finger." Which I replied " I don't need a ring to have respect."
Needless to say we haven't spoked since but live in the same house and I feel very weird and uncomfortable. She hasn't said a word to me and I have been purposefully avoiding her as I don't want to be in the same vicinity as her. Over the past half a decade there were definitely a lot of situations where I wanted to speak up and didn't for fear of conflict. I love my partner more than anything in this world, I just cant see me bringing my future kids around this kind of stuff let alone me even wanting to deal with this on my own right now. I don't think he wants to either but I don't really know what to do and could really use some advice on this situation.
Thank you for your time <3

Hi everyone, I'm in the process of getting my residency investor visa and I've been looking for health insurance for the past 2 weeks.
I was stupid enough to explicitly describe my medical history with Cigna (even though I've never had any health issues, just checks) and they quoted me 40k (26 yo male).
I got a decent quote from Allianz for global excl USA (12.5k AED/year, 20% max $28 USD copay on outpatient), they accepted some pre-existing conditions, and I was literally about to sign the credit card authorization form when I saw that Nextcare is the data processor on behalf of Orient, who is the actual insurer in the UAE (Allianz takes care of global ex UAE).
I've researched this extensively here on Reddit and I saw folks say really bad things about Nextcare hence I want to avoid them at all cost.
Does anyone here have insurance from Allianz (covered by Orient in the UAE) and has any experience with Nextcare?
Are they really that bad, or does it depend on the company you use?
I've gotten quotes from (AED):

• Cigna - they hit me back with 40k
• Allianz - 12.5k
• AXA / GIG gulf - they wanted like 18k
• BUPA - 21k
• Hanse Merkur - 18k

Those are all the good ones I found here on reddit, based on other people's feedback.
Would really appreciate some help, trying to finalize my visa ASAP. Thank you very much fellow Dubai Redditors.

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I’ve been to about 5 different private dentists/orthodontists who’ve all given me very radically different priced options all promising me the same thing 😭
The option I trust most at the minute is a normal train track brace from Scottish Orthodontists - £2k with it taking 9-18 months treatment. But then I’ve been offered ‘invisible’ braces by QuickStraightTeeth from a practice called Tooth Doctor that only takes up to 6 months at a semi similar price.
I’m graduating from university next year and have a trip planned to go to Tokyo so ideally the latter would be ideal - but seems too good to be true 🥲 Invisalign has been quoted at like £4k and can’t justify paying that
I’d say I have mild teeth issues as I had braces as a teenager but they moved after I had them removed. I also have a slight overbite but the major orthodontist practice said that likely couldn’t be fixed because I’ve had some lower back teeth removed - so it’s mostly cosmetic purposes altho it’d be great to have it help with tmj 🥲

Question 1:
First two weeks on, I lost weight, but now my weight is shooting up (on 4th week now). My diet (tracked, and very strict) has remained exactly the same calorie wise (along with activity exc). How much success have people had with losing the water weight? I see some people say just upping water intake/cutting out certain things has helped with it. Others say to check Estrodil if it sticks around and consider adding on another medication. I also wonder if the weight gain has to do with muscle mass/water density in the muscle. I have trained 6 days a week for over a decade, and have been training for 17 years. Coworkers say I look to be ballooning up in muscularity of recent. Obviously, its not strict muscle weight as gaining that much so fast in in the realm of impossibility, although could it be during the low T times they were deflated and dehydrated and are now coming back?
Question 2:
There was a Q&A not long ago by an HRT clinic, and they posted their timeline. Specifically the portion of it defined the week or two of "protest" from the body to new T levels. Quoted:
"A Pause, Weeks 5-6 - During this time, many patients will experience a lull in benefits for a few days to a week. This is your body throwing a last "protest" about the new Testosterone before completely accepting it. This is normal, it will pass, and it does not mean you need to increase your dose."
This lul, if anyone knows. Is it a complete loss of benefits, or a pause in the increase in benefits? I just want to know what im looking at in the future realistically.

I'm 21 riding on the road for 3 years, got my A1 3 years ago, A2 2 years ago, A 6 days ago. used to be insured on a Fazer 600 for £70/ month, just bought an r1 2 weeks ago and now I'm not getting any quotes on anything whatsoever. I don't know if I've been blacklisted somehow for some reason but no where's offered me a quote. and the only quote I did get, I paid £485 for the month and I get a call back saying they're cancelling my insurance and gave me £330 back.. I hate this system