Hey Reddit Community,
Ever wonder how to determine if your paid advertising efforts are paying off? Today, let's dive into the world of metrics and uncover the key indicators of success in paid advertising!
As someone who's obsessed with data and analytics, I've spent years analyzing campaign performance and identifying the metrics that truly matter. From click-through rates and conversion rates to return on ad spend (ROAS) and customer lifetime value (CLV), there's a wealth of data available to help you gauge the effectiveness of your campaigns.
In my next post, I'll be demystifying these metrics and sharing my insights on how to interpret them to optimize your advertising strategy. Whether you're a data junkie or just getting started with analytics, this crash course in metrics will help you make smarter, data-driven decisions for your business.
So, if you're ready to take the guesswork out of paid advertising and start measuring success like a pro, stay tuned! And if you have any burning questions about metrics or topics you'd like me to cover, drop them in the comments below.
Let's crunch some numbers and unlock the secrets to advertising success together!
Ali 📊

I have been playing overwatch for almost over a year now, i started playing comp when i was relatively new and my ratio went so far down. I was hoping the comp reset would help but it didn’t. I play open queue (gold 4) nd slowly getting into role just in an attempt to climb.
I mainly play mercy as support and have 200 hours on her. I’m not a pro but i have all of her tech down besides the hard movement like supersects (not confident enough for it in comp just yet). I also play lifeweaver and trying to learn ana (i struggle to hit sleeps).
I won’t pretend like i’m a saint and it’s my teams fault but i am not sure what else to do to climb. I keep up with my diamond friends and their numbers and try to apply their tips but nothing seems to work atp. I’m looking for general tips for support mains and maybe how to climb. Any advice would help sm!

I'm considering buying a dt770 pro but it's not available in white which is the color I'm obsessed with, is it possible and safe to unscrew the dt770 pro and spray the essential parts in white? Is it also possible if it was an open back like the dt990 pro?

I’ve been noticing this for awhile but recently the content is so consistent that I can’t go on Twitter without seeing tweets from “eating disorder twitter”. I always flag as uninterested and have been blocking these accounts but more and more of this content is being pushed on not only my feed but my friends too! I’m from the generation of gen z girls who were there for pro Ana tumblr, most of us are recovered adults now so it’s just so disheartening seeing how huge and normalized this community on Twitter is to the point where it’s reached these mass audiences.
I was talking to my friends about it and we’re just like… of course now that we’re recovered and spent a decade learning to love ourselves they want to throw this shit in our faces.
Why is this content being highlighted this much? It’s literally just a bunch of mentally ill teenagers, why would anyone outside of that community need that on their feed?

Hate those. Everywhere I go I find Ana Huang, Haunting Adeline, Icebreaker, Colleen Hoover, Sarah J Mass etc. And the entire generation is obsessed with just mediocre storyline, pointless characters and a lot of unnecessary smut.

As someone who teaches concrete skills (I'm a language teacher, in case anyone wondered), the coaching industry's obsession with "mIndSeTt" weirded me out from the get-go.
I thought "what IS it with those people and their constant rambling about MindSEt, when most of them don't even have psych degrees?! Hell, the psychologists I know don't talk about it half as much as the 'coaches.'"
Eventually, it dawned on me: it's the perfect grift. Think about it:
1. they don't have to provide anything concrete.
People like me need to, you know...be fluent in the languages we teach, and competent teachers. We need a CV that demonstrates a track record of getting students from A to B2. If you're a personal trainer, you need to demonstrate you can get, and have gotten, people to lose X weight, improve Y metric of their fitness.
And so on; most professions need real skills and potentially even real qualifications beyond "shameless self-promotion" and "the ability to memorize and regurgitate feelgoodsy fortune-cookie platitudes". Pretty much only in "coaching" can any rando with zero proof of concept saunter in and decide to call themselves a pro or "expert". So it makes sense that it attracts people with that magical thinking / get-rich-quick personality style, who think they've discovered the magic loophole to print free money. You know...
1. call yourself "coach" or "expert"
2. charge a buttload for a bit of fortune-cookie platitudes and glorified motivational speaking
3. blame the clients' "miNDsETt" when they don't get the promised results
4. PROFIT!
2. it builds in a failsafe.
You didn't get the results they promised? Well, that must be your MiiinDSSeTt. After all, you 'know' it's 99% MIndSet - they groomed you to believe this, well before you even bought. And since MiNdSeYuTT is an unfalsifiable claim, it gives them a convenient way out; after all, it's pretty hard to conclusively prove it wasn't your MUyYIndSYEt that got in the way of your success. There is no Mindset-O-Meter we can use to conclusively prove what they did or didn't upgrade or shift.
It's about as hard as conclusively proving it wasn't the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or Karma, or any other invisible boogeyman. So, party time for the "coaches"! They get to keep selling abstract fluff, blame the customer when it doesn't work, and laugh all the way to the bank.
...That's the dream, at least. If you've been around those people you know that it's mostly wishful thinking because most of them are broke and just desperately hoping they can fake it 'till they make it. Another reason to keep pushing the "mindset" angle: they want to feel like they've got a fighting chance despite their lack of real skills, or qualifications, or proof of concept.
That's my armchair diagnosis. What's your experience with that obsession?

the other pro ana one i was on got banned
​

TL:DR: Playing any dive/rush tank is absolutely miserable as a solo queue experience because their counters require less skill from the opposition and more team coordination from your own teammates
I am seeing a lot of frustration with these static tanks of Orisa, Hog and Mauga from tank players and the community as a whole completely missing why we are frustrated from the ladder experience. I will first discuss why tank players (a small minority given the queue times and statistics we've seen in the past) enjoy certain tanks and the give a flow chart dialogue of what the community expects from their tank player when confronted with static tanks.
1) Dive and rush tanks are fun because they demand thoughtful positioning.
Tanks in OW2 are balanced around highlighting fine tuning these 3 characteristics: mobility, damage and sustainability. We can see that in dive tanks (Winston, DVA, Ball, Doomfist), which trade the other 2 for mobility. Their gameplan is to focus on punishing the enemy positioning by either breaking up enemy clusters or quickly helping with their own team backline. It's a dynamic class of characters that is exciting because of the quick decisions required to be made based on the state of the fight. Rush tanks (Rein, Ram, JQ, Zarya) trade the others in for damage. Though their playstyle requires a bit of set-up to get into the right position to start the brawl, this class of tanks are rewarded by the exciting moment of the fight unleashing onto the enemy. The third class of tanks (Sigma, Hog, Orisa, Mauga) focus on sustaining themselves theoretically in exchange for the other two characteristics, but fail to do so in reality (except for Sigma, who actually has drawbacks in his kit (range, damage) for being able to have a flexible shield, stun and kinetic grasp). The lack of ranged damage should be what stops them, but this drawback doesn't matter because not only can all 3 of the remainder tanks effectively still poke at a distance, they excel the most at close quarters which is the range at which ALL tanks need to be at. The dive tanks and rush tanks are punished for their efforts of taking positioning due to this third class of tanks being able to poke better than them, and then also punish them for coming close. Hog is theoretically supposed to be held back by his lack of range, but his damage reduction lets him brush off the entire team EVEN with an Ana nade (which this argument doesn't even consider Kiriko). Sure Hog can miss his hook, but engagement is still risky because going closer to him only plays into his strong shotgun. Mauga still remains strong (albeit perhaps not as strong as Hog and Orisa) because of his free disengage tool that lets him escape with literally no consequence and his lifesteal makes him unkillable especially when your tank is engaging with him. Combined with the tank passives, this third class of tanks are not only unkillable, you can't even farm ult charge off of them! Whereas dive and rush tanks gain no value from not engaging, the sustain tanks still can poke and benefit even more when they are engaged upon by the other team. Whereas other tanks demand thought in positioning in order to not take unnecessary damage, this class of tanks can, for the most part, be static with their team and not need to take risks because their firepower will easily outlast the other tanks' abilities to engage/disengage.
2) What can be done?
So here I'm going to write a couple suggestions provided by this community in response to dealing with this static class of tanks and then write a flow chart of decisions that are made. (this is assuming anything team-dependant actually goes your way)
A. Suppose you ask the support to switch to Ana and Zen
This further encourages a poke-fest and further benefits the sustain tanks because now you may have potentially lowered your team's healing output. Whether its attack or defense, this situation benefits the enemy team because they can just "outstall" your options.
B. Suppose you ask one of the dps to switch to Echo
Now the enemy team acknowledges you and runs double hitscan to really make sure there's no fun allowed. Now if you did both the first option and this one, then the team struggles even more because of the dps passive. Furthermore, in the first 2 cases, you're forced to further rely on your team to not play out of position as well because despite having an "advantage" with the character choice, one small mistake can lead to a hook, spear, stun that will lead to that player's immediate death.
C. Switch to sustain tank yourself
Well then why would I not start with this in the first place? Let me forgo my will in all of this and become a damage sponge so that in the poke-fest my team can potentially win. The tank is for the most part removed from any decision making because I just stand there, relatively risk free, and poking away until something gives. It is unbelievable that everybody gets to play to go for a kill, but a single person is devoted to doing everything then can to just stay alive and earn the ability to play the game. Why even enjoy the other tanks if all roads lead to Orisa, Hog and Mauga?
D. Play in a stack
I guess I should just schedule rank sessions because that is the amount of dedication I should be putting into a video game. I apologize for my lack of respect to the game and for my inability to find and lead teammates I can call my own.
3) Conclusion
The tank passive completely negates any penalty for playing the sustain tanks, and remove any form of enjoyment from playing other tanks that demand more active decision making. They are the only class of tanks that can reap benefits from both active and passive gameplay, a luxury that the others do not have whatsoever. I personally find it ridiculous that all characters have checks and balances that don't entirely demand on the team (DVA for pharah/echo or Winston, Winston for tracegenji or Sigma, Rein for hitscan or Zarya) yet the only true ability to deal with sustain tank as a tank player is to mirror! I apologize to those I've played with for not playing a static tank when I am being hard countered because I don't want to just gun go brr. To the argument of how pro-play shows that these characters are not dominant, I say: I thought this game wasn't balanced around numbers and pros? It's absolutely frustrating not being allowed to play active tanks, and then further maddening when the community talks about how "simple" the solutions are.
PS. I completely agree with that guy that posted about how OW2 devs definitely are catering towards the sustain tanks because the majority of the playerbase can't seem to play without a tank holding their hand.

At the world’s top college of magic and technology, every day brings a new discovery -and a new disaster. The advanced experiments of the college students tend to be both ambitious and apocalyptic, with the end of the world only prevented by a mysterious time loop, and a small handful of students who retain their memories.
Surviving the loops was hard enough, but now, in his senior year, Vell Harlan must take charge of them, and deal with the fact that the whole world now knows his secrets. Everyone knows about Vell’s death and resurrection, along with the divine game he is a part of. Now Vell must contend with overly curious scientists and evil billionaires hungry for divine power while the daily doomsday cycle bombards him with terrorists, talking elephants, and the Grim Reaper himself -but if he can endure it all, the Last Goddess’s game promises the ultimate prize: power over life itself.
[Previous Chapter][Patreon][Cover Art]
“Four years on and the headache still sucks,” Vell groaned to himself.
Though most of the loopers had managed to make it to midnight alive, they had nothing to show for it but headaches. They had not succeeded in digging Cane out of the rubble, or investigating his apparent ghost theory in any other way. That was a complication, but not a fatal one. They had some leads to work with, at least, and Vell knew where to get started on the ghost angle. Vell gladly made the call that would get them started.
“Goooooood morning Mr. Harlan,” Harley chimed. “What’s happening?”
“Frog invasions, among other problems,” Vell grumbled.
“Oh, that’s a time loop headache if I ever heard it,” Harley said. She’d run into that affliction more than a few times.
“Yeah, it’s not great,” Vell said. “Listen, do you still have Garrett’s number?”
“Ooh, ghost problems, eh?” Harley said. “I’ll text it to you.”
“Thanks. I kind of got to get right to it, so I’ll have to give you the details later, alright? Love you, Harley.”
“Love you too, bud,” Harley said. “Say hi to Garret for me.”
Vell hung up the first call and braced himself for the second. He liked Garret, but he could also be a lot to deal with -a fact well-demonstrated by the phone call beginning with Garret’s theme music blaring over the phone. Once the bombastic rock and roll stopped, Vell was disappointed to hear a mechanical beep indicate the start of an answering machine message.
“Hi, you’ve reached Garret Geist, Ghost Getter,” the message said, in Garrett’s usual southern california drawl. “I’m currently on a long-term submersible mission to exorcise the ghosts of shipwreck victims who’ve been trapped undersea for centuries.”
“What?”
Vell knew it was a recording, but needed to voice his offense anyway. It was hard to truly be mad knowing Garrett was doing something so incredibly heroic, though.
“I should be back to the surface and ready to help in a few days, so please leave a message and I’ll get to you as soon as I can!”
The automated message clicked again and fell silent. Vell hung up the phone and let out a low groan of despair.
“Okay, we’re not screwed yet,” Vell said. “Just need to wait a bit.”
Vell brushed his teeth and rushed through breakfast, and then, right on cue, heard a knock on his door. He whipped it open to find a bothersome scientist once again at his door.
“Hi, good morning,” Vell said, as he opened the door. “You here to bother me about Quenay?”
“I- uh, I have some very interesting theories.”
“I’m sure you do,” Vell said. “If you can just hold on one second…”
Vell paused and waited. The bothersome student also waited, at least for a few seconds.
“What exactly are we waiting for?”
“This.”
Cane grabbed the student by the collar and yanked them away from the door. Vell invited him in and slammed the door shut behind them to really drive the point home.
“Thank you for that,” Vell said. “Did you need something?”
“Just to talk to you,” Cane said. “I was trying to get people together to hang out tonight. Figured you’d want in, if you’re not too busy.”
“I could probably make it, I just have to…”
Vell froze. He really should’ve come up with these lies in advance.
“You good, Vell?”
“I, uh, sorry, just losing track of things, mentally,” Vell said. “I’ve had a lot of people, uh, ask me for help with things.”
“What kind of things?” Cane said. “You need a hand?”
“Maybe.”
Vell contemplated how to proceed for a moment, and then figured he’d probably built up enough good will with Cane over the past four years he could just dive right in.
“You ever heard about frog ghosts?”
“Yeah,” Cane said, without so much as blinking.
“Oh, cool,” Vell said. “What about them?”
“Well, hold on, are you talking about frog ghosts as in the ghost of frogs, or a ghost related to frogs?”
“Either or, I guess?”
“Okay, because I don’t know anything about any ghostly frogs,” Cane said. “There is supposedly the ghost of a guy obsessed with frogs on campus, though.”
“Interesting. Tell me about the frog guy.”
“I don’t know all the details, it was kind of an urban legend even when my brother came here about a decade back,” Cane said. “All he ever told me was the this frog-obsessed sophomore died while studying, and he haunts the basement of the sophomore dorms, I guess. ‘Some say you can still hear faint croaking in the basement’ and all that horror story shit.”
“Interesting,” Vell said, again. “Let me look into that and we’ll circle back later, alright? I gotta go, see you.”
“Vell-”
“Sorry, kind of in a hurry, bud,” Vell said, as he left and shut the door behind.
“This is your dorm, dude,” Cane said.
***
“You were not exaggerating about this headache,” Alex said.
“We warned you,” Kim said. “Man, it’s almost better to die.”
“How do you have a headache, you’re made of metal!”
“It’s complicated,” Kim said. Her synthetic body did not spare her from the time loop headache, no matter how she rebuilt herself.
“Good morning everyone,” Helena said, as she whacked the door open with a crutch. “What did I miss?”
“Quiet down a little, please” Hawke said.
“Why?”
“Do you not have a headache too?”
“No, I died pretty early,” Helena said. “Got a frog on me.”
“You died from a frog touching you? What condition do you have that causes that?”
“Well it was a poison dart frog, so I guess ‘being alive’,” Helena said. Samson pursed his lips and said nothing. “What did you all get up to while I was busy being dead?”
“Vell found out the frogs were summoned by a weird frog-obsessed ghost,” Hawke said. “He apparently knows a guy who might be able to help.”
The loopers then proceeded to relax and chat about frogs, ghosts, and other miscellaneous topics for about seven minutes, which made it a lot less dramatic when Vell barged in and announced Garret would be unable to help.
“Oh come on,” Kim snapped. “What’s the point of knowing a ghost hunter if he never helps hunt ghosts?”
“He’s on some undersea mission to rescue lost souls,” Vell said. “Which makes it really hard to be mad at him.”
“And yet I manage,” Kim said. She didn’t begrudge Garret personally, but she had been hoping for their first easy win of the year. All the apocalypses thus far had been a major pain in the ass.
“Aren’t you people supposed to be able to handle things like this?”
“Yes, Alex, and we will,” Vell said. “Just would’ve been nice to have a professional on the job.”
“I’ll get the ghostbusting stuff ready,” Hawke sighed. He would’ve loved a chance to outsource their daily nonsense.
“Keep it on standby for now,” Vell said. “Ghosts have unfinished business or regrets. If we can help our ghost deal with whatever frog-related business he’s got going on, maybe we can fix this without having to bust anyone.”
“That’s your plan?” Alex said. “Be nice to the ghost that crushed a building and hope it goes away?”
“Yes,” Vell said, with a completely straight face. “And busting is plan B.”
“Bustin’ makes me feel good,” Hawke sang, as he grabbed all their various ghostbusting gear.
“True professionals at work,” Alex scoffed. Everyone else rolled their eyes and got back to work.
“Vell is an old pro at being nice to people,” Kim said. “Just ask Helena’s sister.”
“Don’t pat yourself on the back, Joan’s incredibly susceptible to manipulation,” Helena said. It was disturbing she’d say that, and even more disturbing she knew that. “That said, anyone dumb enough to get stuck as a ghost for decades will probably buy into your routine just as easily.”
“Thanks for your input,” Vell said. “I’m just going to go ahead and get started.”
He said that both because it was important and because it was an excuse to get away from Alex and Helena faster.
“Need any backup?” Samson asked, for similar reasons.
“I’ll check it out solo first,” Vell said. Historically speaking, he was the best people-pleaser, a dubious honor at best, but one that came in handy when dealing with a frog-summoning ghost. “I’ll let you know if I need backup.”
“Or busting,” Hawke said.
“Or busting,” Vell agreed. “I have to find out where the ghost is, for starters. I’ll be in touch soon.”
***
Finding the lair of the ghost was the first hurdle. As it turned out, the sophomore dorms had a lot of basements. Every building on campus had a lot of basements, so Vell was not all that surprised. At least these basements didn’t have booby traps or old experiment equipment in them. They mostly just had a lot of junk. Vell kicked aside some old food wrappers and scanned the room.
“Why do people treat these empty rooms like dumping grounds?”
“People are usually different when they think no one is watching.”
Vell whipped around and saw a transparent head poking through one of the nearby walls. A ghost if Vell had ever seen one.
“Oh, hi,” Vell said. “Uh, weird question, how do you feel about frogs?”
“I’m ambivalent at best,” the ghost said. “Are you looking for the frog guy? Because he haunts two rooms over.”
The ghost pointed to the right, down the hall, and Vell looked that way.
“Thanks,” Vell said. He took a few steps towards the door before spinning around to face the other ghost again. “Uh, do you need any help like, moving on? Finishing unfinished business?”
“Nah, we get wifi down here, so I don’t mind just chilling,” the ghost said. “Thanks for offering though.”
The ghost drew back into the wall and vanished from sight. While Vell was painfully curious as to how a ghost accessed wifi, he decided it was time to move on. The frog ghost was apparently close by, after all.
Vell followed the wifi ghost’s directions and hopped two doors down, barging into a subterranean room that was uncomfortably moist and smelled of mud and rainwater. Condensation dripped from the ceiling and onto Vell’s back, sending an unpleasant shiver down his spine. Unlike other rooms, this one was completely free of any garbage, but Vell took no comfort in that.
“Hello? Anybody home?”
A chill ran down Vell’s spine that definitely was not another drop of water. He waited two seconds, took a deep breath, and turned around.
“Hello.”
Vell was just inches away from another transparent face. This one had a slight green tint, with wide set eyes and a broad, flat mouth. Vell wondered if the similarities to a frog had been there during this person’s life, or if they just liked frogs so much their ghost had slowly shifted to reflect their passion.
“Hey! Hi, uh, nice to meet you,” Vell mumbled. “I’m Vell.”
“I’m Raine.”
“Neat, nice name,” Vell said. If Raine noticed the awkward hesitation in the compliment, he didn’t show it. “So, uh, I was wondering, well, I heard you were the guy to ask about frogs.”
The already wide eyes of the ghost got even wider, and visible excitement trembled through their spectral form. Vell began to think he may have made a mistake.
***
“So even though it’s the biggest frog in the America’s, the helmeted water toad is still only half the size of the Goliath frog,” Raine said. “Which must be wild for the helmeted water toad. Could you imagine crossing an ocean and finding out the people who live there are literally twice your size?”
“Must be pretty mindblowing, yeah,” Vell said.
“And that’s not even going into the real extremes,” Raine said. “Do you remember our pal P. Amauensis?”
“How could I forget,” Vell said, about something he had definitely forgotten.
“Not just the world’s smallest frog, but maybe the world’s smallest vertebrate,” Raine said. “Only seven point seven millimeters long, a literal fraction of the Goliath frog! Could you imagine meeting someone who’s only as big as your toe?”
“I actually did, once,” Vell said. “Shrink ray.”
“Oh. Was...was it weird?”
“A little,” Vell said.
“Wow. You almost know what it’s like to be a Goliath frog meeting a P. Amauensis,” Raine said. “I’m so jealous.”
“Yeah, I’ve done a lot of interesting stuff,” Vell said. “What about you, what’d you get up to when you weren’t studying frogs?”
Raine tilted his spectral head and stared blankly at Vell.
“You did do things other than study frogs, right?”
“Not if I could help it,” Raine said.
“Okay, uh...what did you like to eat?”
“Oh, I just ate food whenever I was hungry,” Raine said. “What I really liked to do was gather samples of different bugs and other frog dietary staples, so I could try to get a sense of their diet for myself.”
“Like, cooked bugs, or just raw, living bugs,” Vell said. He’d eaten a few different varieties of cooked bugs, just for the experience, but couldn’t imagine eating raw insects.
“If I could find them, yeah, live ones,” Raine said. “It got pretty hard after I got banned from the entomology department.”
“That’d do it,” Vell said. “So, did you, uh, go swimming a lot?”
“Oh yeah, all the time,” Raine said. “Until I got banned from the pools too. Trying to swim like a frog doesn’t work very well, and they got sick of having to rescue me, I guess.”
“You could’ve just swam like a person.”
“Why would I do that?”
“To...I don’t know,” Vell said. He was starting to feel like Raine’s entire life and unlife revolved around frogs. “Did you ever do anything, I don’t know, human?”
“Oh, I studied frogs,” Raine said. “Frogs lack the self-awareness to understand frogs. It’s their only flaw, really.”
“I see. So what’s your favorite frog?”
As expected, this set off a long rant, as Raine found it hard to pick a favorite and had to start listing pros and cons of various frog species. It was not exactly scintillating conversation, but it kept Raine talking instead of somehow summoning frogs. Vell kept reminding himself that was the real goal. He was not here to have a pleasant chat, he was here to prevent the frogpocalypse. Anything that kept Raine ranting was good. He was saving the world.
As Raine started ranking every existing frog species by maximum jump distance, Vell kept repeating that to himself. Saving the world, one frog jump strength at a time.

Notice: Throwaway account
Message for GDKP simps: Since GDKP is the best system for keeping geared players in raids, for making players stick to the end, and for ensuring players watch mechanics since they can have their cut taken from them, most people would gravitate towards it. Now, I don't have numbers, but let's say half of the players spend 8 hours farming a day, or sit at the AH and just earn gold. It is perfectly reasonable for those players who don't enjoy raiding to still have the best gear in the game, and therefore go and buy it. The problem arises when players who play few hours and are not good at raiding want to join raids. Most people gravitate towards GDKP, and they feel they don't have the skill and gear to join, and they don't have legitimate gold to buy it. Then the most logical solution for them is to buy gold with real money. So the pressure is there, and GDKPs do put pressure on those kinds of players, driving them to engage in RMT, and I totally understand the Blizzard line of thinking (even though I think they just don't address the problem from the root cause but just give a pill to fix short-term solutions). But unless Blizzard can fix it (and I will explain later how they can), for now banning GDKPs is the best solution possible. The same goes for leveling; giving people dungeon spams and incursions forces everyone to level most efficiently, so if they just removed EXP, the world would feel more alive. And you can say you can still quest, but it is different when everyone on the server is on quests or you are alone in the big world and everyone is in X part of the world doing the same thing, while you try to kill an Elite for a quest just by yourself. People from OG Classic will remember how easy it was to come to the Elite and find 2-3 people already waiting there for more randoms to come and join to kill the Elite to finish a quest. So letting GDKP go through is killing normal guilds, and you can not deny that.
Message for GDKP haters: Reddit is full of players obsessed with their egos, and I reached out anonymously (same as with this account) and started asking them why they hate GDKP. When you start putting "if"s, you come to the conclusion that it is just an ego issue and it has nothing to do with prices in the game or with RMT. Eight out of ten conversations came to this conclusion, and paraphrasing here: "If Blizzard had the option to stop RMT, they would still be against it since noobs should not be allowed to get the best gear in the game." And "It would be fine to have GDKPs, but back in the game where the best loot would be for the guild and sell trash from the raid to noobs who want to pay gold." Again, I reached out to ten people who were against GDKPs, and only one of them didn't mention this reason. Only one mentioned inflation because of GDKP, and when you just showcase that gold is already in the game, so no RMT, there is no new gold generated by GDKPs; they just hit you with: "You don't understand." In reality, inflation is happening because of botting, and that botting generates new gold that is sold to people willing to buy. So if RMT is stopped, GDKP cannot possibly cause inflation; therefore, botting is the only problem for inflation. Without inflation, there is only supply and demand as any economy would function. The more an item is needed, the more it will cost, the more people farm it will start to cost less, and if someone has a monopoly, it would skyrocket. Economy 101.
Fix of the issue: Blizzard should implement an in-game option for loot GDKP, the same as Master loot. When that option is selected, create a UI for GDKP functionalities, bidding, splitting, etc. But in that functionality, Blizzard should conduct a full-on scan of that account and any gold incoming through the account that doesn't make sense. For example, just gained X gold from someone who never communicated with that person, sold Y item that is usually 2s for huge amounts of gold, and so on. Instantly flag that account for a person to go in and check it manually for less room for error, and if even suspicion by a real person, ban them for 7 days and put them into "semi-blacklist" accounts that are monitored as "possible RMT". If the offense is repeated and there is proof that they bought gold, permanent ban them. That way, everyone participating in those kinds of GDKPs would know their account will be checked, and you will make WoW less of an RMT/pay-to-win game that GDKP haters say it is.
Note for those people saying there will be loopholes, so review should be account-wide on all of your subscriptions so there is no room for "I will have a subscription to buy gold and pay for items on X sub, and play on Y sub". And again, I know there might be a workaround, but this will cut the RMT for GDKPs enormously. And again, the same for crime; you can never achieve 0% crime, but every decision should aim to enforce less crime in the real world. And from my view, botting is still happening, RMT is still happening, and GDKPs are happening. Just because some aren't aware of it, doesn't mean if they banned it no one is doing it; it's just less in the open. And punishing the population that likes GDKP since that can create an incentive to have alts, especially in SOD where you should try every class to see all runes and all possibilities, is killing the alt population.
Again, without Blizzard implementing something like this, I am still pro-"GDKP ban," but I think it is the wrong solution if they just ban it and leave it like that. They should have banned it and worked on something. This is just my idea; I believe people can come up with even better ideas. I'm just showing that this Reddit community is attacking each other without realizing both sides are partially right.
GDKP simps: "This is the best loot system, and I don't need to build my schedule around a guild and X other people. I can just log in and join GDKP and know everyone will perform since they will be punished if not performing."
GDKP haters: "It drives more RMT, it kills the guilds."
Both are correct, so we should try to fix the RMT issue and let people play how they wish to play their game.
Feel free to agree and disagree and write your own views. This is more for people to sit down and think about how the "other side" feels and thinks. And if by any chance, a Blizzard employee is reading this, a message to Blizzard:
"Hi there, Reddit should be just for you to bounce off ideas, not to listen to us. Someone will always complain. Create a vision for SOD and stick to it. Say, 'This is how we planned it. If you don't like it, you have Hardcore, Era, Cata, Retail.' We are building this as X vision and stick to your ideals. When you are game-oriented and not just focused on money to please customers and get more revenue, you understand that not everyone will love the game, but it's better to have 50% of the player base enjoying it and being subbed for 2 years because of SOD, than to change something for people who complained and will unsub after 2 months and never come back. And if you want to know if the community likes or hates something, for the love of God, don't ask on Twitter or Reddit. Put it in the game as a notice that is clickable so people who actually play the game can vote on it. Not what group has the most ragers on Reddit and Twitter. Have a poll in-game for people who are playing the game and never go on Twitter or Reddit."
Sorry for long post

Edit: If you are going to comment on the length of this post, please don't. This is not a simple snark but rather an actual critical think piece about feminism and Taylor Swift.

Introduction

Pertaining to Taylor Swift, "Female Rage" has deviated from its intended meaning after Swift debuted a new performance of The Tortured Poets Department during the Eras Tour. Now, according to Swift's use of the phrase, female rage is interpreted as public backlash against Swift's dating choices rather than as a response to the broader injustices against women and women's rights. This post examines Taylor Swift's flawed feminism, philanthropy, branding, and the controversial trademark petition for the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical". Swift's background as an entertainer, indeterminate politics, and alignment with capitalism over feminism pervades her legacy, again threatening her public tolerance as not just an individual but as a brand.

Once Upon a Female Rage...

If you were cognizant in the early 2010's, you've heard countless jabs at Taylor Swift in the media. Magazines, radio, or online. Music critics did not take her seriously as a songwriter; parents put a woman on an unrealistic pedestal as the ideal role model for their children; she dated too much and used men as lyrical fodder. No matter the story, it inevitably spread, conjoined with everyone's respective opinions, and you'd be left to wonder, "Why does everyone hate this girl so much?"
Taylor's target demographic has always been young or adolescent girls, more so when Swift herself was one. She made music that spoke to the awkward misfit, cultivating a para-social relationship with fans on MySpace, then later twitter, Instagram, and YouTube, where Taylor posted relatable vlogs showcasing the life of a homegrown American girl. Taylor had a delayed public "growing up" and, compared to her female pop contemporaries, Swift never "gratuitously sexualized her image and seems pathologically averse to controversy" (and, apparently, never even had a sip of alcohol until she turned 21). She was more than happy to spin this narrative to allude to an inherent moral superiority above other women in the industry (Better Than Revenge, heard of it?), engaging in the very slut-shaming that she herself endured (the Madonna and Whore archetypes). The victim complex arose with the need to prove Taylor as a different type of pop girl. Based upon her holy and clean image, Swift had been dubbed "a feminist's nightmare", and that "[To Swift] other girls are obstacles; undeserving enemies who steal Taylor’s soulmates with their bewitching good looks and sexual availability." Feminism and Tennessee-Christian country values don't exactly mix, it seems.
Years later, Swift befriended Lena Dunham and thus experienced white feminism osmosis, where Dunham taught Swift that real feminists defend rapists, makes insensitive jokes about rape and abortion, and prioritize all-white casts. Swift then declared herself a feminist in 2014, saying,

"Becoming friends with Lena – without her preaching to me, but just seeing why she believes what she believes, why she says what she says, why she stands for what she stands for – has made me realize that I’ve been taking a feminist stance without actually saying so."

I suppose the male-centric songwriting subject that permeates Swift's discography contained covert feminism and that we just didn't see that. Perhaps, the "Bad Blood" song and music video were written only in jest and not about poor Katy Perry, for Swift, as a feminist, would "never make it a girl fight" or tear other women down (though all Katy did was date your terrible ex-boyfriend and allegedly steal three backup dancers from your tour). In 2013, Swift said, in response to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's joke towards her serial dating, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."
There was that time in 2015 Taylor said that Nicki Minaj was "invited to any stage [she is] on" (as if Taylor expects to have access to every stage, award, and platform that Nicki might not otherwise have as a black female artist...yikes!) in response to Nicki's criticism of the white + thin VMA nominations. Later, Nicki responded with confusion, as Swift continued, "It’s unlike you to pit women against each other. Maybe one of the men took your slot..". Of course, this 'beef' was 'squashed' when Nicki performed with Taylor at the VMAs, with Nicki quite literally only having 38 seconds of stage time without Taylor. Maybe all that parading around with a legion of famous white women - similar to the way Taylor might've done with her numerous 1989-era handbags - was in fact a stance against gender inequality, and that this display of "girl power" should be enough to constitute Swift as a feminist icon.
Even while Swift says that Dunham informed her feminist outlook, she dances around the exact contents of those beliefs: "what she believes, what she says, what she stands for" is not exactly insightful towards what beliefs Swift might have inherited. Taylor never broaches women's rights topics such femicide, FGM, forced pregnancy & marriage, sex trafficking, women in slavery, women's financial and political oppression, women's educational rights, women's health, or women's autonomy, so we can assume she only gives a fuck about "girls supporting girls" (whatever that fucking means).
Despite some questionable (and sometimes vindictive) behavior, Taylor as a young woman did not deserve every media lashing that she received. We cannot deny that most headlines and criticisms perpetuated a misogynistic rhetoric which has plagued Swift for a majority of her career. Acknowledging events such as the development of her ED, her sexual assault trial, "Famous" lyric and MV depiction of Taylor, and the explicit Twitter deepfakes, for example, as both disgusting and unfortunate things that happened to a young woman in Hollywood does not negate the fact that Taylor is mostly a performative feminist.

Get Your Fucking Ass Up and Be a Philanthropist, It Seems Like Nobody Wants to Be a Philanthropist These Days

In 2013, Taylor Swift cut the ribbon at the grand opening of the Taylor Swift Education Center at the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, Tennessee. The donation amount - $4 million - was the largest individual artist gift ever donated to the Country Music Hall of Fame, which is, of course, mentioned on Swift's website. The two-story facility features three classrooms, an instrument room, and an interactive children's exhibit gallery. Swift also performed at "All for the Hall" charity shows and has donated numerous artifacts from her career (such as notable guitars, tour costumes, etc) to the museum.
This was over 11 years ago, and it is still the only notable philanthropic contribution Taylor Swift has made.
For a woman of her net worth and stature, and a woman who recognizes the difficulties for women in film and music, you would think that Taylor Swift might establish a scholarship program for women to study the arts or something. Perhaps Swift might even consider becoming a member of organizations that support female artists, or one that supports LGBTQ+ causes (since she is now proudly an ally), yet she remains superficial with her graces. Broader philanthropy, such as donating relief aid to Palestinian women or women impacted by violence and discrimination will probably never receive any financial support from Miss Swift because then she'd be using her money towards philanthropies involving anyone but white entertainers.
She even says herself in Miss Americana, "My entire moral code as a kid and now is a need to be thought of as 'good'." Well, she's certainly thought of as good, though her actions say otherwise. She's more than happy to do a vaguely altruistic song and dance for a clip-worthy interview quote and mass appeasement, then fuck off to one of her mansions on a 20 minute private jet flight, rather than actually contribute to anything pertaining to the causes she has endorsed. Yet, far too many people continue to give a woman such as her their money, time, and energy, and she hoards these resources to herself.

I Like Some of the Taylor's Songs, But What the Fuck Does She Know About Feminism?

Swift continued with her self-proclaimed feminist campaign, positioning herself as a political activist and LGBTQ+ ally in the Miss Americana documentary. The primary focus of the documentary consists of the sexual assault trial, Andrea Swift's cancer diagnosis, Taylor's ED and body dysmorphia, media scrutiny, and, largely, finally speaking up about her politics publicly, mostly her opposition to the 2018 Tennessee Republican senate candidate, Marsha Blackburn, and Blackburn's beliefs. Swift says, following a scene discussing her experience during the trial,

"I just couldn't really stop thinking about it. And I just thought to myself, next time there is any opportunity to change anything, you had better know what you stand for and what you want to say."

We must ask ourselves, though: when has Swift ever spoken up to change anything? Okay, pulling her entire catalogue from Spotify because they didn't pay their artists enough and similarly pulling her catalogue from Apple Music are changes that she leveraged due to her revenue potential and power, but they are not pertinent to the average woman's rights. Moreover, these are issues that directly impacted Taylor's income, which was enough reason for her to protest in the first place. Swift has sold the most units for a female artist in first week sales, is the first female artist with 100k monthly Spotify listeners, is the first female artist to win the Album of the Year Grammy 4 times, and is the first female artist to do X, Y, and Z, all while being inoffensive and family-friendly to boot. The actual Taylor Swift seems unwilling to compromise the brand of Taylor Swift by contributing in meaningful ways to feminist causes, especially if it is for women outside of America and Hollywood.
The reason political anthems such as "The Man" and "Only the Young" of the Lover era feel disingenuous and corporate is because, well, it is. Taylor has taken every opportunity to advance her career or public image at the expense of other women. What is truly genuine to Taylor's outlook on other women is vying for male attention, taking down female competition, and vocalizing feminist injustices only if they directly impact her and her money. Some will argue that it's satisfactory for a woman with such a huge platform to even TALK about feminism, but that just isn't enough. It's even less impressive when you candidly look at the scope of her feminist lens: "If I was the man, then I'd be THE MAN", or "I really resent the ‘Be careful, buddy, she’s going to write a song about you’ angle, because it trivialises what I do", and, of course, "We all got crowns". Feminism, but only when it happens to me. It gets worse when you look at Taylor's track record of copying other famous women and removing other female artists as potential threats to her pop prowess.
It's good for PR to align yourself with certain blanket feminist and political beliefs, therefore good for branding, therefore good for ticketing and merchandise sales, therefore good for business. And Taylor Swift is a business.
She's not a feminist. Taylor Swift is a capitalist.

I Can't Pay Those Sweatshop Workers a Livable Wage or Benefits! How Else Would I Make My Billions?

Recently, Taylor's team filed to trademark the phrase "Female Rage: The Musical" after Taylor said during Paris N1 of the Eras Tour,

"So you were the first ones to see The Tortured Poets at the Eras Tour...or as I like to call it, 'Female Rage: The Musical'."

This trademark petition was filed last week on Saturday, and news comes about just as numerous unofficial fan-made merch designs have cropped up with this phrase plastered on Fruit of the Loom basics. I'm of the opinion Swift's team motioned for a trademark so that they can send out cease & desists to all those that make knockoff merch, which disrupts potential sales for Bravado, UMG's choice merchandising company; however, since it was filed earlier, perhaps Swift has bigger plans with the bizarre use of the gendered phrase. One Swiftie referred to the phrase "female rage" as "a funny Eras Tour joke". Could it be a possible fourth version of the Eras Tour Movie? Whatever the reason, the motion to capitalize off of such a concept is disgusting, but not unsurprising, for a woman that profits on her vain feminism.
Swift, through her company, TAS Rights Managements, has also trademarked over 200 phrases, including "1989", where she owns the property rights to this calendar year on keychains, phone cases, sunglasses, stationary, bags, beverage ware, clothing, entertainment services, your subconscious, and, of course, Christmas ornaments.
The vapid consumerism in Swiftie culture is, frankly, disgusting. Bravado's sustainability statement is non-existent, the quality control is abysmal, and the materials they use are horrible. The materials, such as acrylic and polyester, are made from petrochemicals. This means they are non-renewable, shed microplastics, and are quite toxic in production. The manufacturing process to make all of those lazy-rushed Eras Tour logo graphic tees is a huge blow to environmental well-being. Apparently, though, Swifties don't give a fuck. They sell out products in seconds and either have to face the manufactured scarcity or buy from a scalper that resells for 200% of the already ridiculous retail price. This doesn't include the environmental impact of vinyl records, CD, and cassette production, of which Taylor produces many variants that sell unsustainable amounts.
If we're talking about women's rights violations, why is no one acknowledging the women that work in the inhumane sweatshop conditions that have to pump out fugly t-shirts and hats? The millions of plastic microfiber dander they are inhaling, or the toxic dyes that touch their bare skin? Are they being compensated fairly for their skilled labour and are they in safe working environments? Do these women have minimal bargaining power, and do they have authority over their worker's rights? Is Taylor Swift female raging at their injustices? Does Taylor Swift ever feels bad that her wealth was built on the backs of women of color, disadvantaged by the demands of the global economy and garment industry? Do you think she ever says a little white feminist prayer for them before she goes to sleep at night?
What's even crazier is not that Taylor herself doesn't care, it's that Swifties don't care. There CANNOT BE ethical billionaires. You only make a billion dollars if you are exploiting other human beings for capital gain. Based on public perception of the possible "Female Rage: The Musical" trademark, it seems like Swifties are already asking for merch with this phrase. "If Taylor made it, I'd buy it." Oh, cool. So not only do you champion Miss Swift's avarice and billionaire status, but you also are unashamed to admit to your blind consumption of her music and merchandise, no matter where they might originate in production or sincerity. Just as Swift takes and takes and takes, Swifties' consumerism of Taylor Swift cannot be quelled.
The tortured artist's most vulnerable and sincere poetry...available now in 21 different versions!

I Am Tortured Poet, Hear Me Whinge

Look - even if Taylor's intention is to characterize TTPD as more "tortured" and "angry", the main thread of the album is "I was ghosted by my decade-long situationship with a controversial indie boy and my fucking stupid fans wrote a 'Speak Up Now' open letter prompting me to drop him" anger, which is adequately expressed in the lyrics and performances. The extent of Taylor's "female rage" on TTPD is on tracks such as "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?", which contends with relentless media scrutiny; "But Daddy I Love Him", where Swift firmly states she'll date whoever she likes no matter how "Sarahs and Hannahs" may react; and "The Albatross", a track mythologizing her reputation and the consequences of dating her. Of course, these coincide with deep psychological wounds that formed during Swift's early years in the media, and so, from her feminist perspective, these subjects tackle the misogyny and double standards that she faced.
Yet Taylor Swift still has no grounds to be claiming that TTPD best exemplifies female rage and therefore she, in the context of this album, is female rage incarnate. As the daughter of a stock broker and mutual fund marketing executive, Taylor was born into wealth and allowed privileges like trips and subsequent relocation to Nashville all so that she might get a record deal. Her father even invested at least $120,000 into the then-fledgling label, Big Machine Records, which ensured Taylor's place with Borchetta after leaving her dead-end development deal with Sony. The fact that her parents were able to buy her a fucking brand new guitar for Christmas and pay for music lessons says so much about the financial security and safety of her childhood.
Money is privilege and protection, and despite Swift's experiences with misogyny and loser boyfriends, she does not know what female rage is.
Her rage is derived from her frustrations with her obsessive fans pulling the moral superiority card on Taylor in response to her rebound with Matty Healy. That's literally it. She's just pissed that the monster she created is no longer obediant, it's become a feral, sovereign entity that depletes the world of its natural resources and thinks it is more intelligent than it actually is because it's mommy has started to talk to it with big words. Apparently, 'illicit', 'elegy', 'nonchalant', and 'precocious' are considerably big words for the oafish monster, and I find it strange that this level of literacy is present in a group of fans that allegedly have GPAs of 3.5 or higher, but I digress.
Taylor Swift has never been one paycheck away from destitution. Taylor Swift has never experienced racial discrimination. She may have instances of gender discrimination, but she possesses the ideal white, blonde American beauty standard and therefore reaps the benefits of being a conventionally attractive woman. Taylor Swift has sufficient social capital. Taylor Swift is a billionaire woman prolonging her victimhood though she, as a woman, has mostly had control over her image and music (unlike her contemporaries). Taylor Swift is NOT entitled to be championed for her "female rage", nor should she be. Taylor Swift has never even been the struggling artist, for fuck's sake. I don't give a fuck if she's trying to fill the empty lunch tables of her past. Taylor Swift purporting herself, her unpolished album, and her lukewarm feminism as a musical bleeding with female rage is asinine.

Sigh Try and Come For My Job, Poors

Out there in the world right now is a 23-year-old woman, a recent college grad, who works as a barista. She has to wake up and get ready to go into a minimum wage job because she cannot get a job in her field. She doesn't have healthcare benefits or sick time, so she has to go into work no matter how she's feeling. All day long she is berated by vicious customers and creepy men, and, exhausted from being on her feet, she knows she has to go home to her shitty roommate that never does the dishes and her roommate's shitty dog. To comfort herself, she considers getting a treat, but thinks against it when she remembers that matcha lattes cost $15 and they taste like milky dirt. She knows that she needs to buy groceries this week, and so the woman resolves to go home, but notices that her gas tank is low. She goes to put gas in the car, but the pump stops at $27.86 because that's all that she has in her checking account. The woman, bereft and reeling, sinks into the driver's seat. "Well," she thinks, her head in her hands, "at least I don't have Taylor Swift's job. I just couldn't imagine."
Fame is somewhat of a choice. If at any moment Taylor feels that she is misunderstood, misconstrued, or overwhelmed by public opinion, she can LEAVE the public eye - Lord knows she has the retirement fund and residuals to do so. In "I Can Do It With a Broken Heart", the TTPD song about meeting the demands of your career-zenith mega-tour while in the relationship trenches, Taylor ends the song by rambling,

"You know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart...you know you're good...and I'm good, cause I'm miserable, and no one even knows!...try and come for my job."

Yeah, obviously we wouldn't know, you recently passed the billionaire threshold and are the most famous and in-demand performer in the world right now. Taylor Swift makes an estimated $10 to $13 million dollars A NIGHT on the Eras Tour. Furthermore, the Eras Tour movie grossed $261.6 million globally, (which, as the producer, Taylor takes home 57% of the ticket sales) not counting the streaming revenue from Amazon Prime Video and the estimated $75 million deal that Disney paid to have it on Disney+. We're not even considering the income from cheap plastic popcorn buckets and drink cups plastered with colored squares in her Era-specific likeness.
It's funny. Taylor Swift often said that being famous wasn't hard, that she "isn't complaining". I'm sure it is difficult to always have to present in a good mood, else you'll end up misrepresented in the media, and I'm sure it's invasive to virtually have no privacy or semblance of anonymity. Still, Taylor Swift shows up each night of tour and performs. For a majority of her career, she has penned her sad songs while on the road. Most of "Red", her breakup album, was written in the thick of the Speak Now World tour. Now, some Swifties say they almost "feel bad" for attending the Eras Tour with Swift's revelations in this song, that they have had a 'dimmed experience' upon hearing Taylor's misery whilst performing. Despite the fact that Taylor said that "this was the happiest she's ever been" at Gilette Stadium in May, the lyrics "boohoo, woe is me, smile for the cameras and make the fans happy!!!" are jarring for Eras attendees.
While Taylor Swift was making double-digit millions a night in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and feeling miserable, Ana Clara Benevides Machado passed away due to heat exposure. The concert promoters, Time For Fun, are now the subject of a criminal investigation due to their lack of adequate hydration and safety. Taylor Swift cancelled the Sunday show that was to follow and offered VIP tent tickets to Benevides Marchado's family, which was a kind gesture, but perhaps incongruous to the incident of which they were offered as consolation. Everyone grieves differently, of course, but I'm not sure attending the very show at the very same venue that my daughter or sister passed away in two days prior, where the singer CONTINUED the show despite her death, would be healthy for closure.
There was no female rage at the show as Swift never saw Benevides Machado pass out. There was no female rage towards the disregard for fans as humans while Swift elected to proceed with her Brazil tour dates despite the country being in historic heatwaves (at risk of overheatting herself). If Taylor Swift was so shaken by touring with a broken heart or a fan's passing, she wouldn't have added an additional North American leg of Eras just two months after the Matty breakup. She's brokenhearted but willing to mend the cracks with your money and move onward with her worldwide female rage induced pillaging.
No matter what happens, even if you die at a Taylor Swift concert, Taylor collects a big fat check and flies away. She doesn't know you as anything other than a conversion rate or earning potential despite what her nearly 20-year long parasocial relationship with fans might otherwise indicate. She knows that, while some Swifties are without disposable income, they feel obligated to spend on a "48 Hours Only!" exclusive vinyl variant instead of necessities because they are so entrenched in Taylor Swift's intoxicating celebrity, they'll prioritize materialistic fandom before their needs. This is good enough for her because this means she can expand her real estate portfolio and finance her cat's lavish lifestyles. They're worth an estimated $100 million dollars. Her three cats could pool their net worth and solve world hunger.
While you and I might be denied bereavement leave and barely surviving the current political and economic climate, Taylor Swift has to, instead of gets to, perform for stadiums at full attendance for three nights in a row across the globe. You and I might be replaced by AI at our longtime jobs, but Taylor Swift is threatened with losing more and more money each time you listen to a "Stolen Version" of her songs. If we don't buy every variant of all of her albums, then who is going to pay for the fucking cats?
It is tone deaf to spend as she spends and lives as she lives in this economy, but this is her reality. She was able to donate $100,000 to all of her tour truck drivers, and that's wonderful, but it leads me to wonder about the ethos of the 2020s where one woman can hoard such life-changing amounts of money. Remember in 2014 when she gave a fan $90 ($120 in today's money) to get Chipotle because she had no fucking clue how much it cost? This is a 34-year-old woman who is increasingly out of touch with the reality for working class people and women in general. Normal everyday adults must wake up and go to their thankless jobs, and yet Taylor Swift, despite all her riches, incessantly references the lows of her life and career as a public figure and entertainer to farm sympathy and drive sales. And still, the corporate women have latched onto "I cry a lot, but I am so productive! It's an art!" as their cubicle battle cry.
Do you think that, from up in her private jet, Taylor Swift gazes at the world through her poetic, tortured eyes, and thinks, "All the little people, in their cars, walking, going about their lives...all those girls that don't support girls...do they know that I've made an album about female rage?"

Conclusion/TLDR

Thank you for reading. I would love to hear your critical insights towards this entire ordeal: TTPD, the trademark, the implications of it all.
TLDR: Taylor Swift is a bad feminist and is delusional to think that the TTPD eras set exemplifies female rage at women's injustice.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ncQcxnD-CxDk4h01QYyrlOh1lEYDS-DV/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=114514252262811175804&rtpof=true&sd=true
Hello again folks! Your resident performance obsessed Redditor here, with my updated Pagespeed guide! It's gone through significant revisions since the last time I posted it. It now has more than double the content up from 94 pages the last time I posted the guide to having over 200+(!!) pages of content.
Major content additions, expansions on everything that was previously in the guide, significantly better and more logical organization, revamped table of contents, grammar and spelling fixes, many new optimization strategies and much needed additional specificity.
Don’t forget to check the table of contents, it is not expanded by default! The icon is on the top left side on desktop
Included is a breakdown on how to analyze and interpret Speed Test reports to identify optimization opportunities.
There's an extensive amount of optimization information and resources for server stack configuration for NGINX, Apache, OpenLiteSpeed, Varnish, Object Caching, PHP, HAProxy, MySQL, SSL, Gzip/Brotli, HTTP/2 and HTTP/3, the Google Pagespeed module, Security considerations effects on performance and Linux optimizations. There are also a bunch of resources on database optimization.
Wordpress specific optimizations: It now has sections on how to optimize common features including Ads, Forms, Woocommerce, Analytics, Google Maps, Fonts, Custom Fields, Galleries, Video Players, Sliders, Filters, SEO plugins, Anti-Spam, Cookie Notices, Backup plugins; in addition to one size fits all optimizations(Images, Videos, CDN, SSL, CSS, JS, Resource Hints, Caching etc), and tons and tons more.
Every optimization opportunity has a free plugin option (or multiple) listed. Some paid plugins are included as I find them very useful(Perfmatters and Asset Cleanup Pro for example). However I've included alternatives for all paid options. Every single thing in my guide can be implemented for free.
I've done my best to cover all of the bases you’d find in any page speed guide, in addition to a focus on adding uncommon optimization strategies and solutions that you won’t find in any off the shelf guide. This is a compilation of all of my research over the last 6 years delving into performance optimization.
I'm confident that if you follow every single step in the guide, almost any site you maintain can score 90+ on a Pagespeed Insights Mobile Speed Test.
If you notice anything missing from my performance guide that you think I should add, or if there is some information you believe needs to be amended (or expanded on), please let me know in the comments and I'll be sure to add a section or revise the content on the topic (if necessary) as soon as possible!
If you feel that the guide is too overwhelming and you'd prefer to have someone else optimize your site’s performance or need a consultation, feel free to DM me.
If anyone wants to be able to import a large set of free optimization plugins (and you can selectively choose which ones to download/install), download WP Favs. I do need to update the collection since I've added tons to the guide since the last time I posted this, but it's still comprehensive:
https://wordpress.org/plugins/wpfavs/
The code to import them is: JAuOGP5BZICR5LmBsPANN9kpKHfiie
https://imgur.com/a/nU1v5CU
For now the roadmap is to work on the load balancing section, and anything else I can think of. I have added a ton of content since the last time, so I'm positive that there are still gaps which need to be plugged. I plan to continue adding content as I improve it, so keep an eye on the guide as it will continue to evolve over time!
If this guide helped you out, please consider buying me a coffee! (Everybody likes coffee right?)
If anyone would like to help me develop a premium optimization plugin with some unique strategies I've been thinking of, please pm me!

I am stumped. I love my GTI but it's time for it to go as I want to be safer on the roads with my family given its relative size to every SUV/truck on the road. Money is definitely an object, looking at no more than 60k.
I am kind of all over the place. Looking into:

• 2025 4runner trd pro (likely will be a very long wait for these?)
• 2024 Tacoma Hybrid (also likely a super long wait?)
• Ranger Raptor (yeah all of a sudden trucks seem interesting)
• Used Porsche Macan S (obsessed with Porsches)
• Merc GLB 35 AMG (looks gorgeous inside, plus funky body that reminds me of a wagon)

I'm a big sports/motorsports guy. The past couple of seasons, I have gotten really into NASCAR as a byproduct of my obsession with Formula 1. Through it, I have really become a fan of Bubba Wallace, who is known to love metalcore and even hang out with bands like August Burns Red. After that, I found out Daniel Ricciardo joined Parkway Drive on stage and performed a song with them. Then I found out Ryan Blaney used to have a metalcore band (or at least he could do fry and gutteral vocals).
That makes me wonder what other pro athletes are into metalcore and other genres of heavy music. I imagine there has to be quite a few out there.

Getting an iPhone in India is basically a huge deal for an individual. It involves a lot of financial planning and timing to get the latest iPhone. I come from a middle-class Indian family and I am no different. When Apple released the iPhone 14 Pro series with the Dynamic Island, I was really into it. But, working as a tech writer and having the knowledge that Apple would add the same to the lower-end iPhone 15 models, I waited a year, and Apple did add the Dynamic Island to the lower-end iPhone models in 2023.
As I was already planning to get the iPhone 15, I had saved for it. Hence, without a second thought, I got the device in October 2023. It was a blue iPhone 15 and it was a big deal for me!
Fast forward to February 2024, I was going on a planned trip to Kasol with my friends. We had to catch a train from Sealdah, Kolkata, and to get there, we planned to take a local train to Sealdah station. So, we got to our nearest local station and were waiting for the train. During that whole waiting time, a person was standing right next to us and was fiddling with his phone but also giving questionable looks to us.
The train finally came and if you are an Indian, you would know the amount of struggle that one needs to go through to get on a packed local train. We all had rucksack backpacks and went through the struggling ordeal to simply get on the train. That was not all! During the whole ride, I could not move anywhere or any body part due to the sheer amount of people surrounding me.
When we reached Sealdah, our final station, I got down with my friends. Then, my mother called my girlfriend's phone to check on us and told her that she could not call me as my phone was switched off. I thought that my phone was not switched off and should be right in my pocket. I went on to check my pocket only to find out that it was gone! It most probably was the guy who was giving the looks to us when we were waiting for the train.
Naturally, I started panicking big time and went straight to the Railway Police station nearby to report it. By the time we filed a report, our main train left the station and as a result, our entire trip was canceled. Without a phone in my hand and after having a dreadful day, I went back home.
Find My [The Savior]
Now, as my girlfriend also had an iPhone 11 and was a part of the Apple Family plan, I used it to put the stolen iPhone 15 in Lost Mode via the Find My app. I checked the location of the phone in Find My and it showed a station that falls between our local station and Sealdah.
My aunt is in the police force, so I informed her about the stolen device. She told me that as it is an iPhone, it would be difficult to locate its position. However, she got the IMEI slots of the device blocked and said that if anyone puts a SIM card in it and tries to use it, the device will be marked. Only then the police could locate the user and grab him.
I knew that no one would be able to unlock it and put a SIM to use it. Apple has some great security features that prevent thieves from accessing personal information stored in an iPhone. Hence, I was sure that he would never be able to unlock or reset the device.
Someone once told me that stolen mobile devices are taken to Bangladesh and sold in black markets. If the mobile devices are locked, they even open up the parts and sell them individually.
Days went by and there were no updates about the phone, neither from the police nor from Find My. As I work with iPhones and as it was so dear to me, I broke an FD to get another iPhone 15 in the meantime. I also closed the EMI for the previous device with the same and accepted the situation.
Now, a few weeks ago, the stolen iPhone 15 started pinging locations in Find My on my iPhone. In the meantime, my girlfriend also got an iPhone 15 and started checking the Find My app obsessively on her device to track its locations daily. Some days it showed multiple locations, and some days it was stagnant.
The more regular locations from where the iPhone was pinging were near a place called Canning. The place is known as the "Gateway of Sunderbans" and is one of the biggest crime hubs. If you search for Canning on YouTube or Google, you will get a gist of it.
Citing the last known location of the iPhone showing Canning station, I and my partner went there one day despite the risks, dangers, and warnings. Although we did not get any further location updates that day, we scoured around the place but did not talk to anyone. While returning home disappointed, we stopped by the police station there to let them know about the situation.
The next day, the iPhone showed multiple locations near the city of Kolkata, though none of them were much closer to my home. However, the day after that, my girlfriend woke me up in the morning to show that the phone was pinging a location that was very close to my place. Not only that, the phone pinged the same location thrice since she started checking the Find My app. So, I immediately got up and went to the location.
It was in a place called Dover Lane (Kolkata), near a residential tower and a hotel. I went there, parked the car, and started hovering around the place, trying to locate the person who we suspect stole the phone. During that time, the phone pinged the location once or twice, and at one point, it even showed that the device was "With You" in Find My.
I stood at the location for four hours and tried to spot the suspect. During that whole time, I kept the Find My app open on my current phone to aid the stolen device ping the location. However, it showed location was updated 3 hours ago.
Hopelessly, I sat in my car, thinking of returning home without the device. Just then, I saw this guy with a red t-shirt passing by my car. He looked like a young migrant worker or a daily laborer. His t-shirt was a bit torn and his pants were pretty dirty. I don't know why I looked at him in the first place but that is when I saw him take a phone out of his pocket.
"Is that a pale-blue colored phone?" Yes. He turned on the screen. "Is that the iPhone's Dynamic Island?" Yes! "Why is he on a setup screen?" I have no idea!
Right at that moment, I check the Find My app. After 3 hours, the location was finally updated and the "With You" tag was back. I hurriedly got out of my car and followed the guy for a few meters. He stopped at a local shop to get a beedi. Just when he was about to light it, I went up to him and said "Show me your phone, brother!". He answered, that there was no balance to make a call. I said that I didn't want to make a call.
"Just give the phone. I want to see it once!", I said. He immediately got it out and handed the device. During my usage, I once dropped the iPhone 15 and that made a tiny dent on the chassis, just above the screen. I checked for it, and it sure was there!
I grabbed the phone tight and said "Let's go to the police, kid!" Bewildered, he said, "That is not my phone, I got it from a friend! My own phone was stolen a few days ago and my friend gave this to me for the time, until I get a new one. If you want to go to the police, I sure can but believe me I did not know that this phone was stolen."
Now, it is worth noting that this guy was not the guy who we suspected stole the device. He was 25-28 years of age. This guy was just 18! He was still a kid.
I asked him where does he live and what does he do for a living. He said that he lives near Canning and works as a housekeeper in the city. Then I asked him, you cannot use this iPhone whatsoever, it is in the setup-screen and is showing locked to owner, so what exactly are you doing with this device? He said that when my friend gave it to me, I liked this phone. So whenever I leave the house, I carry it around just for "fancy"!
We knew that if we took him to the police, they would lock him up and beat him. The kid was just 18. So, after taking his name, address, and father's name, we let him go!
I emailed the GRPS at Sealdah where I first filed the FIR that I got the phone back.
To be honest, I had zero hopes of getting back the stolen iPhone, and that too with Find My. But thanks to my girlfriend who never lost hope and also motivated me to try and retrieve the device.
After all this, I have a newfound respect for Apple's Find My network and am surprised that it works so very well. It is one of the most underrated features of an iPhone that more people need to appreciate.
So, that is my iPhone story. If you ever lose your iPhone or have it stolen, do not, I repeat, DO NOT underestimate the power of Find My, and above all, never lose hope!

https://www.google.com/amp/s/thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/4661793-kansas-city-chiefs-kicker-blasts-biden-pro-choice-movement-in-commencement-speech/amp/
Shit like this is why I hate the obsession society has for "celebrities" to speak out about any and every issue, because you get people like this that are just obscenely ignorant.

I can't tell you how often I hear people who I consider very intelligent spout the thoroughly disproven myth that the Earth's population is exploding, that we are all going to starve, run out of resources, etc... Before the internet, it was easy to buy into this narrative. Then as now, the idea of overpopulation has a racist tinge to it. "Those" people are having too many children (meaning the global poor, mostly non-caucasian). The message is clear, if the poor keep having so many babies they'll outcompete and replace us (this is a common theme for bigoted assholes).
Even a cursory examination of the statistics would show that birth rates around the world were already falling even in the early 2000's: https://youtu.be/fTznEIZRkLg?si=l0Uxa62wNxov1jgM
It was hypothesized that as people grew more wealthy (and I don't mean rich, just as they accumulated enough capital to be somewhat free from the cycle of poverty), they began to have less children, because fewer would die during childhood and labor had shifted from heavy agricultural work to less physically demanding jobs. A more modern twist, posited that skyrocketing costs for childcare, housing and education have contributed to this trend.
However, more recent data seems to upend this hypothesis, as a global contraction of birthrate is becoming apparent, even in countries that have not reached the level of financial security where one would predict that people would start to have less children: https://www.healthdata.org/news-events/newsroom/news-releases/lancet-dramatic-declines-global-fertility-rates-set-transform
Now, when births per woman are below 2.2 (replacement), the population will begin to decline. For a country with below replacement births, this means that the tax base shrinks as the average age of a citizen of that country increases. This will necessitate increased spending on elder care even as the number of people available to tax decreases. If monetary insecurity is truly a root cause of population decline, then this will only exacerbate the problem.
It's also a problem for capitalism, which is couched in ever increasing consumption. If the number of people available to consume decreases, the economy contracts as well. This is going to wreak havoc on the retirement system of the US especially, since we were sold to financiers by our government, replacing pensions with retirement investments in the stock market. Even if we still had a pension system, the number of people paying into it would decrease, limiting payouts. This is why I have always assumed the following:

1. Social Security will not be available when I retire.
2. The government is going to renege on the promises made to us regarding our personal retirement accounts (e.g. the tax free status is likely to go away).
3. The government may even take retirement funds from younger generations to pay for the boomers to retire thus continuing a recent trend of fucking over the young.

Seems like doom and gloom? Hardly. The fact that the linked article was reported on in the Wall Street Journal implies to me that the people who are most worried about this change are our would be corporate overlords. After all, if working age people are scarce, it will be harder to treat them like commodities and pay them subsistence wages (hence the recent obsession with AI and robotics). This will directly impact the bonuses executives receive, decimating the private jet, yacht, gated community and vacation house markets.
I think population decline will be the best thing that ever happened to us for one main reason: It is the only thing that can break us out of this current, hollow, exploitative, fiercely individualistic culture that is cheapening our lives and destroying the planet. We are going to have to think long and hard about what it is that we actually want, what makes a life a good life and how we can live responsibly.
I always noticed that in Star Trek: TNG, when the crew would visit other worlds, that the settlements were always quite spartan (for production cost reasons of course), and I thought this made total sense in world. These people had access to unlimited technology but used it to live simply and unobtrusively. This is what we need to do.
It's time to start planning how we are going to withdraw from the world and consolidate in smaller, better planned communities. This is going to mean allowing some towns and even cities to die, letting many simply return to nature, demolishing structures that could become unsafe and clearing out any waste that could contaminate the water or soil if left unattended.
It's also going to mean the end of infinite growth (at least until we get a foothold in space). Before the modern age, the rate of growth per year was something like 0.1%, often times there was no growth. THIS IS FINE! The captains of industry will bemoan the end of the world, but it will be the end of their world, not our World.
Of course, this contraction will also help in our fight with climate change (in the sense that less people consume fewer resources) but it might also make the more expensive options (large scale geoengineering) more difficult to fund. I'm also concerned that a contracting population will lose interest in space exploration and colonization which is, frankly, vital to our survival as a species in the long term.
So, I have mixed feeling about population decline, but for the most part, the future under decreasing consumption, contracting financial markets and fundamental societal reorganization sounds a hell of a lot better to me than a world of ever increasing consumption, corporate oligarchs with ever increasing control and resource wars on a scorching planet.
I'm hopeful we can arrive at the high tech low consumption society of my dreams, and judging by the failure of pro-natal programs to boost birth rates, regardless of generosity, this transition now seems inevitable.

Writer's Block? Befriend the Beast: Pro Tips to Turn Blockades into Bestsellers (With Prompts So Crazy They Might Work)

Ah, writer's block. That ever-present nemesis, the blank page's evil twin, the creativity-sucking gremlin that haunts every writer's dreams (or lack thereof). But what if I told you writer's block isn't your enemy, but a misunderstood ally? A twisted muse, a forced sabbatical from the mundane, a chance to shake things up and unleash your inner writing gremlin in the most productive way possible?
Befriending the Block:
Professional authors know the struggle is real. Here's what they say about turning blockades into stepping stones:

• Embrace the Pause: Jodi Picoult: "Writer's block is a sign that something isn't working. Step away, recharge, and come back with fresh eyes."
• Declutter Your Mind: Neil Gaiman: "Sometimes you have to let go of an idea to make space for a better one."
• Experiment, Even If It's Weird: Haruki Murakami: "Don't be afraid to try something strange. The most original ideas often come from unexpected places."

Now, let's get insane with prompts that will have your muse doing a double take:
1. Genre Blender: Combine two wildly different genres. Write a historical romance with zombies, a cyberpunk detective novel set in ancient Rome, or a space opera with a grumpy cat detective as the protagonist.
2. Alternate Reality: Imagine your story taking place in a world obsessed with something ridiculous. Think "everyone communicates only through emojis" or "unicorns are the primary mode of transportation."
3. Flash Forward, Way Forward: Skip to the very end of your story. Write the final scene, then work your way back, filling in the gaps with the most outrageous plot twists imaginable.
4. Dream Weaver: Describe a bizarre dream in excruciating detail. Then, analyze it like a cryptic message from your subconscious, using it as the foundation for your story.
5. Character Chaos: Write a scene where your characters are forced to switch bodies (think Freaky Friday, but with your characters). How does it change their perspectives? What hilarious misunderstandings ensue?
6. Found Object Frenzy: Grab the weirdest thing you can find (rusty spork, deflated balloon animal, taxidermied squirrel) and write a story centered around it. Bonus points for incorporating its bizarre history.
7. Unsolved Mystery: Choose a real-life unsolved mystery (Jack the Ripper, the Bermuda Triangle) and write a fictional account from the perspective of the perpetrator or a hidden witness.
8. Headline Hijinks: Rip a random headline from the news and turn it into the most outlandish story you can imagine. Aliens behind the stock market crash? Sentient self-driving cars waging war on pigeons? Go wild!
9. Animal Antics: Write your story entirely from the perspective of an animal character. A grumpy cat narrates a love triangle, a wise old owl dispenses philosophical advice, a hyperactive squirrel chronicles a daring heist.
10. Time Travel Tango: Send your characters on a time travel adventure with a twist. They can't change the past, but their actions have unforeseen consequences in the present. Think butterfly effect on steroids.
Remember, these prompts are just springboards. Let your imagination run wild, embrace the absurd, and don't be afraid to delve into the depths of your weirdness. You never know what hidden gem you might unearth from the rubble of writer's block. So, unleash your inner gremlin, write with abandon, and remember: sometimes, the best stories are born from the most unexpected places. Now get writing, you beautiful block-busting wordsmiths!

A true sports parent dies twice. There’s the death that awaits us all at the end of a long or short life, the result of illness, misadventure, fire, falling object, hydroplaning car, or derailing train. But there is also the death that comes in the midst of life, the purgatorial purposelessness that follows the final season on the sidelines or in the bleachers, when your sports kid hangs up their skates, cleats, or spikes after that last game.
The passage of time is woeful, and, for a parent, living your dreams through the progress of your progeny is as inevitable as the turning of the Earth. But the sports parent lives the experience in concentrate—a more intense version of the common predicament. You must give up your vicarious hope of big-league glory and let it die. You must part from what, if your kid pursued his passion seriously, had become a routine of away games and early-morning practices, hours in the car, a hot cup of coffee in your cold hand as the sun rose above the Wonderland of Ice, in Bridgeport, Connecticut; the Ice Arena in Brewster, New York; the Ice Vault, in Wayne, New Jersey—home of the Hitmen, whose logo is a pin-striped gangster with a hockey stick. And you’ll suddenly find yourself watching the Stanley Cup playoffs not in the way of a civilian but with the chagrin of knowing that the game’s upper ranks will never include your kid.
One recent morning, courtesy of Facebook Memories, I came across an old picture of my son, a high-school junior who recently announced his decision to quit hockey—to retire! The photo was taken by teammates after a victory at Lake Placid, New York. Sweat-soaked, draped in the arms of friends, grinning like a thief, he looked no less ecstatic than Mike Eruzione after he and his team won Olympic gold in the same arena in 1980.
And me? I was this Eruzione’s old man, waiting with the other parents outside the locker room, experiencing a moment of satisfaction greater than any other I’d known, either as a player or as a fan. I was a car in park with the accelerator pressed to the floor. I was a wall bathed in sunlight. This win was better than the Illinois State Championship I won with the Deerfield Falcons, in 1977. It was better than the Bears’ 1986 Super Bowl victory.
Bears’ 1986 Super Bowl victory.
Read: I thought I’d found a cheat code for parenting
The end began like this: One evening, after the last game of the high-school season, I asked my son if he’d be trying out for spring league. For a youth-hockey kid, playing spring league is the equivalent of a minor-league pitcher playing winter ball in Mexico—so necessary as a statement of intent and means of improvement that forgoing it is like giving up “the path.” Rather than a simple affirmative nod, as I’d expected, I got these words: “I’m going to think about it.” Think about it? For me, this was the same as a girlfriend saying, “We need to talk.”
Only later did I realize that those words were the first move in a careful choreography. My son wanted to quit, but in a way that would not break my heart. He also didn’t want me to rant and rave and try to talk him out of it.
We had reversed roles. He was the adult. I was the child.
He knew he would not be playing college hockey even if he could. With this in mind, he had decided to use his final year of high school to get to know people other than hockey players and spend time in places other than hockey rinks. In the way of a pro with iffy knees nearing the age of 35, he had decided to exit on his own terms. He was not worrying about losing his identity as a player or about missing the camaraderie of the locker room; he was worrying about me. Hockey had been an entire epoch of our father-son life. It had ushered me, the sports parent, out of my 30s, through my 40s, and into my 50s.
.... Because I am human, I tend to blame entities or systems or other people for things that strike me as unfair. As my son progressed, I caught a glimpse, for one fabulous, deluded moment, of the life that he (we, I) would never live: high-school athletic stardom followed by college triumph and possibly even a professional-hockey career. That I knew this was a fantasy—he was never that good—did not make it less powerful. Lost in it, I experienced my life as an NHL fan with new intensity. I was not just watching the Blackhawks; I was scouting, picking up tricks that I could pass to my glory-bound boy. This was a dream that I was too embarrassed to share with anyone, even my wife. I regarded it the way members of the Free French regarded the liberation of Paris: Think of it always; speak of it never. In short, I lost my way. Rather than letting him enjoy the moment and the fact that these seasons were his career, not a preparation or a path toward one, I was constantly scheming about his next move, his next opportunity, his next shot at the big time.
Here’s the worst part: I knew exactly what I was doing. I was attempting to replace my kid’s will with my own. I knew that it was wrong and, worse, counterproductive. The more I pressed, the less he enjoyed the game. The less he enjoyed the game, the worse he played. The worse he played, the more I pressed. Economists call this a negative feedback loop. I knew it but could not stop. It was psychosis.
Maybe the most notorious sports parents suffer from a shared psychological condition. LaVar Ball, Emmanuel Agassi, Earl Woods—those sports dads were all obsessed to the point of being abusive. I prefer to think that I am not; yet, for all the varying degrees of our kid’s success, our predicament is the same. At some point, even if it comes after 20 years in the pros, the set will be rolled away, revealing our true location. Rink parking lot. Beat-up vehicle. Alone. Even the child prodigies will retire.
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/05/ice-hockey-sports-parent/678347/

TL;DR: My parents feel entitled to my unborn daughter and make comments/plans despite me or my sister asking them not to. My father is starting to get rather obsessive about his role as a grandfather. I made a list of boundaries, and the response was not promising.
UPDATE: I spoke with my mother over the phone about the boundaries. She did acknowledge that certain rules were probably added because of her (and she was spot on about which ones), and she stated "you and DH are the parents, so you guys get to decide what the rules are and your father and I have no say in the matter, regardless of how we feel." I thought that was very mature of her. She probably realized (because I said so in the boundary list) that if she tries her BS, she will lose visitation rights to her granddaughter. She acknowledged the consequences. We'll see how that goes.
As for my father, he never responded to the group chat where the list was posted. He texted my mother "where is all of this coming from? this is too extreme." *Sigh* 🙄. I just got off the phone with him and he tried to pretend he wasn't talking smack. I confronted him and he backpedaled and said "I'll learn my place and back off until you and your husband tell me to come over." Again, we'll see how that goes.
OP: Ever since I got pregnant, my parents have become obsessive. This is "their" baby, and they are entitled to spending all the time in the world with her. My father declared that he would take my husband's place at the birth (husband is overseas). My mother said she will move in and be her nanny/second mommy (she wants to raise her). I'm honestly super creeped out because it's gone from normally excited grandparents-to-be to obsessive behavior. My requests to change their behavior are constantly ignored.
My amazing sister is backing me up when my parents talk bad about me to her. She tells them that I want personal space and that I will not be having visitors for a while after the birth. In response, my father calls me selfish and says, "we'll see how long she lasts". He and my mother call me selfish and "un-motherly" because I will not rehome my snakes that they think will kill my baby and are vile creatures. They are in locked enclosures and are ball pythons, not anacondas. I have asked them numerous times to stop commenting on my pets. Ignored.
They constantly tell my sister how I don't know what I am doing and that I will listen to them once I realize I am way over my head. I tell them that I will ask for parental advice if I want it. Ignored.
My parents currently live in a different state, but my father is moving here a month before the due date so that he can "be a part of her life". He literally told the rental company that I will be at the house all the time with the baby and that I'll be storing my stuff there (what stuff?) and that he might have me move in with him at some point. I told him that I will be spending time with my husband and our baby, not being at his house all the time. Ignored.
He's already planning on making a nursery at his house and talking about how much time she'll be over at his place. How he's going to stockpile diapers in his garage. Every time he talks to someone, he's mentioning how he expects me to bring my daughter over all the time because I'm unemployed and "have nothing better to do". He wants me to get rid of my dog and move in with him and the baby (and just...forget my husband apparently). He calls my daughter the feminine version of his name. I've asked him to stop calling her that. Ignored. I ask him to stop suggesting I rehome my dog. Ignored. "You'll change your mind when you realize you're a mother".
I told my father not to expect much considering my husband is in the military and we're slated to PCS within a year. He told my sister earlier today that he will follow us wherever we end up to be with "his grandbaby". I am still processing hearing this.
Per my husband's suggestion, I created a long list of boundaries that I posted in the family group chat. This way, it is in writing so they can't claim they didn't know. I made it clear that these rules applied to anyone including family. My father did not reply, and I know he is fuming and will be saying crap behind my back to my mother and sister or maybe even confront me about it in a few days. My mother's reply? "I think this is acceptable." Excuse me? This isn't an option. I'm not asking for your approval.
I don't think they will take these boundaries seriously and will just ignore them like they have thus far throughout my pregnancy. I know my sister will have my back and defend me (she's a saint) and my husband has already said he has no problem confronting them when he gets back state-side. It was so easy to ignore them when they were living in another state, but now my father is moving 11 min away from me. My mother is planning on moving here as well (they're divorced).
I know people might suggest going NC. Not sure I'm mentally prepared for that. If I do that, I know I will lose my entire family except for my sister, as each respective side of the family adores my mom and dad. My husband already doesn't trust my father and is very much pro-NC or LC and thinks the boundary list will help me build a backbone to eventually cut contact in the future.
This whole situation sucks, and I feel so trapped.