Can I ask for some advice about something? What would you do if you are in my place. my best friend let's call her Ruby. Ruby moved about two years ago now, she was going to come back and visit for graduation week and wanted the friend group to hang out like we used to, when i told her i didn't believe it would be possible she has continued to push for us to all hang out. I finally told her the reason that it would not work out she completely ignored me. Now the reason the friend group hanging like we used to won't work out is because this ex friend of mine who I'll call cici randomly after a school essay I wrote quite talking to me and started to spread rumors about me the essay was supposed to carry so sort of theme that means somthing to us so I wrote mine on how it can feel to be in the middle of a friend group that is arguing and not knowing what to do. I will copy and past the essay below the rest of the story. After I turn the essay in cici somehow gets a hold of it and spins it to sound like I'm attacking her and im bullying her and so for the month of February everyone ignores me which really hurt because I had no idea why as they just on day started to ignore me it also was my birthday that month and I had no one to share it with. After a while lila,Taylor and Sara realize what happened and apologized for what they did and I quite trying to communicate with cici. After I quite reaching out to her and trying to protect a dying fire my mental health improves to a point where not only I noticed but my teachers noticed also. Back to my earlier topic I told ruby that I refuse to hang out with cici because she has been treating me like shit and my parents won't even let me see/talk to her outside a school sanctioned event because at are very last sleep over before she she started to ignore me almost ended with me In the hospital because her brother threatened me with a knife and their dog attacked me because i used self defense to get the knife from her brother. During this sleepover cici's parents were awar of what happened and didn't tell my mom so after that I wasn't allowed back to their house. Even after all that I still tried to keep that friendship alive if not only because I cared for cici but also for ruby. Still despite all these reasons ruby refused to split her time between us and Is no longer coming. AITAH for refusing to hang out with someone who has betrayed my trust and put me in a dangerous situation just because my friend who moved away wants us to hang out together?
Here is the essay
Just because your friends are friends doesn’t mean they will always understand. A few days after spring break in 8th grade my friend Cici started hanging out with a girl that the rest of our friend group doesn’t like because she is mean and rude. So we told her what we thought of this girl and that she could hang out with her but we didn’t want to be near a person like that, however Cici did not listen and kept inviting her to hang out with us. My other friend Sara was starting to get really upset because this girl was calling her names and bullying her. This same girl had also left intentional bruises on my body because I told her I already had a partner in pe. Finally, after months and months of off and on fighting it was the last day of school. Sara had finally had enough of how the girl had treated us and snapped as she listed off all the hateful and violent things that this girl had done to me, Lila, Ruby some of our other friends. The girl then started to ball saying how all of us are liars and cici shouldn'tlisten to us about anything that we say. During this entire situation I stayed quiet and listened to what the others had to say, because I wanted to say something but didn't know what to say to fix the situation.For weeks after that cici and sara refused to talk to each other, until I finally managed to get them to both apologize. Then for a while after that everything seemed good. A new girl who I will call Tyler moved to town and we basically absorbed her into the friend group. Things were going well until about four weeks into our ninth grade year. Sara started to be exceedingly hostile the rude girl Cici had been hanging out with sense last year, Which caused fighting to break out. So then Sara started to distance herself from us to hang out with a guy who i also used to consider a friend i will call him jem. Now the reasonme and jem are no longer friendsis becausehe told my to off myself several times over the course of about two months.So as they are hanging out jem is also constantly flirting with her, so we make a joke that they were dating. This caused sara to explode at everyone in the group chat. When she texted in the group chat she directed all of the texts about it to Cici and when I confessed that it was me who was made and the joke she proceeded to say that it was Cici’s fault and that it “ IS NOT SOMETHING TO JOKE ABOUT!! You know what I think of rumors and dating.” We all replied saying it didn't mean for it to be a big deal and we weren't making fun of her that it was only a joke. Sara proceeded to snap back “If we are in relationships with guys, it's not something to joke about. When other people believe it, then it's too much.” So in response Ruby answered with “You literally would make fun of me and my old boyfriend tim back when we were dating.” Then Lila added, “Yeah you make me feel like crap about me and Carl all the time and guess what you coming after Cici being a jerk to Cici for everything saying that everything that everything the "rude girl" knows and does is because of her. There's also the fact that when you tease and make fun of us we are supposed to deal with it, but when we do it to you we are rude horrible people." Sara’s only response to that was “You guys never said that you weren't ok with it. You just need to tell us, and we will stop. No one ever said anything, so we thought it was ok.” I responded with “who is the we in this situation, because I told people to stop when they crossed a boundary and that one of the only people who never listened or apologized for it was lila. I haven't even taken anybody's side throughout this whole situation” after I say this, Sara goes off again. “I'm done ok. Just leave me out of all this. Be your own friend group. I'll be a singular person, and then I won't have to be a burden to anyone. Sorry I was such a bad friend. Also I don't want any pity.” At this point everyone is annoyed and tired of this situation so Ruby speaks up again telling Sara that she is not the main character and to grow up, and that she started it. After this Sara separates herself from us and as a week turns to two weeks then two weeks turns into a month. Between all of the fighting, homework, sports, and everyday stress I start to become irritable and snappy because no matter how much I try to stay neutral to keep peace, Sara and Cici are always fighting. So one time when the fighting over text picks up again I end up snapping at my family and yelling something at them that everyone would probably be happier if i just died. The next day I tried to act like everything was fine. I ended up making it until PE where I ended up breaking down infront of my teacher and skipping school for the rest of the day in the office crying my eyes out to the guidance counselor. I told her everything that happened and that sometimes when I tell my friends things I don't like or feel comfortable with, they sometimes will forget or ignore what i say. Which always makes me angry or sad because I always take the time to understand and respect my friends boundaries. that's when I realized that just because your friends are friends doesn’t mean they will always understand. Despite that fact I will always respect others boundaries even if they don’t respect mine and I will always remind others of my boundaries or distance myself from them. Just because your friends are friends doesn’t mean they will always understand and just because you can/want to say or do something hurtful doesn’t mean that you should. Know where to darw the line.

so we have this project where we need to write three journal entries in the pov of an aztec or spanish conquistador, i chose aztec. please give me criticism, and tell me if there are any historical inaccuracies!
im 13 btw
initial contact:
november 8, 1519
I was outside, grinding corn, grinding it with the mano, over and over. I couldn't hear the screams of Chimalli, my older brother. He was sprinting, so fast, he tripped over the metate and spilled the corn. “Watch it, you fool!” I shouted, worried that I may get beaten. Nantli didn’t like food waste, and she wouldn’t care that it was foolish Chimalli’s fault. He was gasped for air, his hands on his knees. “Acalan… and I…were hunting…” He stopped and took a deep breath. “We were by the water when we saw this fish, a fish of great size. It wasn’t in the water, it was on top of it! It was brown, and atop it was 10 feet monsters with light skin!” I barked a laugh. “You’d better stop lying, Chimalli.” I decided to put the already ground corn back on the metate and take off the grass left in it. “I swear on the gods I'm not lying! I swear on Huitzilopochtli! Quetzalcoatl! All of them, I swear!”
I rolled my eyes, put the mano on the matate, and got up. “Show me what you’re talking about, fool.” Chimalli grabbed my hand tight and started running as fast as he could. I was whispering prayers to Patecatl, scared that what Chimalli was saying was true. We met up with Acalan and hid behind a bush near the lake. We could see the white-skinned people, and they were covered with weird clothing. They spoke loudly, in a peculiar way. They waved their hands around like birds and marched fiercely like jaguars. My heart was beating so loud, I was scared that Acalan and Chimalli would hear it. “They look so weird,” I whispered. The marched along, with their weird looking animals, amd were headed towards our causeway! Chimalli, Acalan and I exchanged a worried glance. Slowly and carefully, we all left our bush and headed back to the calpolli.
I went inside and saw Nantli sitting down, weaving. When she saw me, her face twisted in rage. “You dare spill the corn, leave the metate and mano unattended, and leave with the boys!? What were you even doing?” I shifted on my feet. Nantli was scary, but hse was understanding. Sometimes. “There are monsters on our land! They have big animals, a big brown fish that can swim ontop of water, and pale skin! The don’t speak Nahuatl, too!” i blurted out everything i saw, even if it didnt make sense. Chimalli was beside me, nodding his head so vigorously that it looked like it was about to fall off. Nantli got even more angry and said, “If you don’t stop lying this instant, i will call your Tahtli!” Chimalli and i both said in unison: NO!
“I swear on Huitzilopochtli! Tepeyollotl too! I even swear on Xolotl!” Chimalli cried as we were bothe getting pulled by the ear by Nantli. We were pulled outside, when we saw Tahtli. His face looked like he’d seen death. “Your foolish, lying children came to me talking nonsense about monsters with pale skin!” Nantli said, but Tahtli wasn’t fased. Tahtli was calmer then Nantli, and he was more wise. That was probably because he was a priest. However he was severe in punsiments. Nantli was all bark and no bite. Tahtli was bite, no bark, and when he did bite, it would last forever. He shook his head. “They're telling the truth. They are like us, but they have come from another land. Spain, they call it.” Nantli’s mouth was open so wide, I was trying my hardest not to laugh. She finally let go of me and Chimalli’s ear, her brows furrowing. “Did Moctezuma talk to them? Did you talk to them? How did they come here?” I side-stepped away from her, rubbing my ear. I exchanged a mischievous glance with Chimalli, and like a tiger, we left as fast and quietly as possible. In front of the door, Acalan was waiting for us impatiently and said, “Let’s go see them again. Maybe we’ll try to talk to them.” Chimalli raised his eyebrows. “Are you nuts!?” He exclaimed. I didn’t think it was a bad idea. Maybe we could understand their intentions. We never got to do that though. We never got to do anything.
Amoxtli
Spanish Conquest of the Aztecs
They kidnapped our ruler. The scary, stupid, dumb-looking monsters took our ruler. Foolish Chimalli brought it upon himself to save him. Nothing reasonable ever comes out of that stupid brain of his. He got killed doing it. Atleats he was brave. Braver than me, thats for sure. They have loud, long black tubes that shoot out fire. That killed him. Nantli hasn’t been the same, she doesn’t let me go to school anymore. Tahtli has fallen sick. Why is this happening? Is this a sign? Oh why, oh why? Oh gods, why?
I woke up, the rays of sunlight shining directly into my eyes. I got up, and to my right, was Acalan. He had decided to stay with us since all members of his calpolli had died unfateful deaths. His Nantli got sick, and his Tahtli and all of his other relatives died in the battle with the monsters. Whenever I start to pity myself, I remember Acalan. He’s got it worse. “Good morning,” I said. Acalan nodded, not uttering a word. He was looking outside, and his eyes had this aloof look to them. “Where’s Nantli?” I said, looking around the room. He mumbled something, but I couldn’t hear it. I sensed that he obviously wasn’t okay, so i scooched beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. “It's okay, just try not to think too much about it. I know how you feel, the gods will help us out.” I said softly. He shrugged my hand off his shoulder, and moved away from me. He was looking hard at the ground and whispered, “How can you be so sure?”
“Huh?”
“I said,” He looked at me square in the eye. “How can you be so sure? That’s what everybody’s been saying, but I'm getting tired of it. Face it, Amoxtli. The gods have done nothing for us. They’re just a bunch of stupid stories to scare us. My calpolli would still be here, alive and well. Those monsters wouldn’t have come here. The gods aren’t real.”
I sat there, stunned. What was he saying? He must be mad, because this isn’t the Acalan I know. The Acalan I know was so devout, more than I was. Maybe the grief got him bad. “And no, you don't know how I feel. You will never know how I feel. You ever think about jabbing a spear into your chest? You ever thought about jumping off the mountains, and drowning yourself underwater? You ever think of that? Huh?” Acalan continued. And before I knew it, he was sobbing. Acalan, the soon-to-be soldier who had never shed a tear, the boy whose heart was made out of stone, was crying. He was saying something in between sobs, but I couldn’t understand it. His face was buried in his hands. The truth is, no, I have never thought about any of those things. I didn’t know that Acalan was this affected by it. Maybe I’m the foolish one.
A few hours later, I told Nantli about what Acalan had been saying, except the blasphemous things. That brought out a side of her that i never knew she had. Her face softened, and she nodded with understanding. She comforted Acalan, giving him words of reassurance. Nantli sent me out to get water, since Chimalli wasn’t here to do it anymore. Every passing day I miss him more and more. As i walked through the village, I heard loud, bone-rattling screams. The monsters were pushing and shoving their way into the houses, and coming out with valuables. I stood there, frozen in place watching it all happen. A tall monster stood in front of me, and all I could do was stand there, looking stupid as we both stared at each other. He scowled and grabbed my bucket, throwing it on the floor. “Hey…!” I said quietly. He kicked my bucket and continued walking.
tbc

I currently (40M) had my ex (35F) completely destroy our relationship while I was working out of town for a few months. This happened a year ago and wish I had these stories as a resource while going through it. I have just started to use Reddit and been reading the experiences of others here and have decided to share my story in hopes it will maybe help others. That way some good may come from some of the worst times of my life.
A little backstory for context for the story and insight to some of the decisions I made. When I turned 30 I left the major city in my Province (it is like a state if you are an American) because buying just a simple house is over a million dollars and I don't make near enough to afford that. My goal was to move to somewhere more rural to buy a house, meet someone, get married and have a child or two. It was my only dream I had and believed I could attain it. I lived out in the bush on my step dads property in a run down trailer I bought so I could save money for the first 3 years. I had my dog but the loneliness of living in the middle of nowhere had got to me. By then I had saved a fair amount of money, so I decided to move into the town. It was nice, it cut my commute down by 40 minutes, I had started to make a few friends and no longer felt so isolated. It was through my friends I met my future ex. Let's call her Kali. She had a long term boyfriend when we first met. Their relationship ended a couple of years after meeting her and we started dating a few months after.
We mostly had a great relationship for the next 4 years. The only thing was it was on again off again. She would dump me after I did anything really special for her for a week and beg me to take her back. It was like clockwork. I used to think it was because of her depression and that she didn't believe she deserved to be truly happy. Nowadays I actually think she might have been cheating the whole time and just felt guilty about it when I did nice stuff for her but I will never know the truth. I don't care what the reality is anymore anyway, Time has a funny way of making stuff like that irrelevant. We did have one bigger break of about 5 months. When it happened I took time off work to travel in my RV the whole time. From spring to summer. I really didn't like the town I lived in and decided to use that time to check out the rest of my Provence to figure out where I wanted to restart my life. She was basically the only reason I stayed for so long. I did have a decent job and family close by but most people I met there were not good people. Lots of drug users, liars, and general scumbags. I had only a few real friends there. After I got back and had decided where I was going to move to she had decided she wanted me back. She begged me to stay and be with her. She told me that she wanted to get serious. We started making real progress about getting married, having kids and looking at buying a house. Everything was coming up Milhouse and I couldn't be happier. So You can probably guess this is when my tale becomes interesting for you and life got real bad for me.
My career is seasonal. I work from spring to the end of fall and can go on unemployment insurance or find work. My dad had asked if I could help on his farm breeding horses that winter when I had still planned to leave my town. I had promised him that I would because it would give me a place to stay before people in my field of work would be looking for employees. This had been agreed upon before me and Kali had got back together. Now I have always been a man of my word. It's something I take great pride in. I have always hated liars. I don't mind a little embellishment to make a story more fun or if two people's stories are different as long as they both believe that was how the events happened. Everyone remembers things slightly off. She was upset that I had intended to keep my word to my dad but I had every second weekend off. The town my dad is in was only a 2 hour drive. So I told her I would be back twice monthly for weekends and that it would only be for 4 months. For the first two months everything seemed fine. During this time I started to look at rings to pop the question and booked an expensive spa for two days in May to propose. There was only one weird thing that happened during the first two months. On one of my visits she confided in me that her brother's wife had cheated on him and that their newborn baby was most likely not his. I was shocked that she not only knew but didn't plan to tell him. She said she didn't want to tell him for fear of breaking up the family. I told her that he has the right to know and that she was being a bad sister by knowing and not telling him. I also informed her if he found out she knew and didn't say anything that he would most likely kick her out of his life. She made me swear I wouldn't tell him. Even though I thought it was wrong I did agree to not say anything. It did get me wondering how she could not only not tell him but stay friends with someone that could do that to her brother. I think that's when I started to question her morals. The third month she asked that I didn't come out because she was "sick". I told her I didn't care, I could still come out and take care of her. She convinced me that she didn't want me to come so I just worked on the farm instead. I switched weekends so I could come out the next instead of in two weekends. The weekend she was "sick" her phone was off the whole time, lasting into the week. She told me her phone went through the washing machine. She was actually on a bender but I didn't learn that till later.
So I head out the following weekend. As soon as I arrive I start getting super sketchy vibes. I was already weirded out about the stuff with her brother and ghosting me for 4 days as we talked/texted multiple times a day normally. At first she acts great to me, cooks me steak and we go out to the bush to have a fire in the snow. At the fire she really started drinking heavily. She then mentions a guy she had been hanging with lets call him Brad. So alarm bells start going through my head. We go back to her house and she keeps drinking. I wanted to keep a clear head so I only had three beers all evening. She put her phone down unlocked because of how drunk she was and I took it to the bathroom with me to look up texts between them. I felt so guilty for doing it at first but once I see the text between the two of them the guilt is replaced with rage. I go to her room to confront her and she breaks down. First, how dare I go through her phone, this never would have happened if I would have broken my promise to my dad, nothing really happened between them, blah, blah, blah. I was furious and drove off. She blows up my phone the whole time. I don't answer. Ten minutes after I left her mother called me. She lives at her moms house. I took the call and her mom said she is freaking out and has harmed herself. I decide to go back and she has a bandage wrapped around her arm. Her mom hid all the sharp objects she could find. She was having a full on panic attack and begs me to not leave. I told her I would stay if she told me the truth. She admits to hooking up with him one time just that last weekend when she asked me not to come out. It kind of matches the messages and I believe her. I stay there till she falls asleep. Once she does I send Brad a text saying that she has a boyfriend with some screen shots of our conversations me and her have had that week. I was about to drive back to the farm when the dude called her phone. I pick up the call and tell him I am her boyfriend. He asks if that was a joke and I assure him it is not. He said he didn't know and actually apologized. I tell him that I'm pissed but if he didn't know I couldn't blame him. I should have asked him more questions but I was tired, not thinking straight and just wanted to go back to the Farm even though it was two am by this point. I get home and crash. Turned my ringer off because I know once she wakes up she will start calling like crazy. After getting the horses in for the night I decided to look at my phone for the first time all day. Around thirty missed calls and a ton of texts. I decide I need another day before I talk to her. Now while the whole day all I can think about is that it was just one time, she seems to be genuinely remorseful about it, how I'm 39 and really want children before I get too old. I took a call from her the next day on Sunday in the morning. She is still wasted. She hadn't stopped drinking since I was there Friday. We talk and I tell her that I am really upset but am willing to give us another chance. I still was in love with her and wanted to have kids, get married and buy a house with her. It was the dream I felt I worked so hard for. She was so happy I took her back and swore to me nothing like this would ever happen again. Basically I was a fool lol.
So I decided on my next set of days off to borrow my stepdads summer home on the river so we can have the place to ourselves. I grab food that she loves so I can cook her dinner and try to make it very romantic. I want to rekindle my love with her so I wanted to go all out on an amazing weekend. I pick her up and she is already a little drunk. I kind of wanted to hang sober but I don't wanna mess up with her so don't say anything thinking we can do a sober day when I take her out to go shopping and dinner the next day. When we get there she gets hammered. Kali had brought a big of bottle fireball on top of a bunch of white claws. I again didn't really drink that night. Once she was drunk and tired I carried her to the bed. As Kali is in my arms she looks up at me and says in slurred words "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Joe" I ask "what did you just say?". "I don't know why you even felt threatened by Brad" she replied. I put her to bed and my mind starts racing. Now her ex before me has a really close name to the one she said first but I also know she has a friend named Joe I only met a couple of times. They were not close or even hung out but were more like acquaintances. I go in her purse to look at her phone again but the battery is dead and I can't find her charger. I have an Iphone so I can't charge it up to look. I didn't sleep that well that night with everything going on in my head. I woke up at 6 am to her being very loud on the phone. I went out to the living room and she had drank all the booze left over from the night before. I ask her who she was on the phone with and she tells me an uber to leave. I ask why is she going to leave? Kali tells me she is upset that I tried to get into her phone. Guess I didn't put it back in her purse. Must have been out of sorts and forgot. I tell her I can drive her once I go to the washroom and get some clothes on. I go to do that, come out of the washroom to see Kali has already left. She was so drunk that she had left half her stuff behind. I decided to have breakfast before bringing her stuff to her house. After breakfast I packed her stuff into my SUV and noticed it had snowed that night. I could see her footprints out into the driveway. While Dropping off her stuff I noticed there were no footprints leading to her house, so I tried calling Kali. No answer. I left her stuff in the snow and decided to drive by her brothers and sisters house to see if there were footprints going into any of their houses but there were none. I sent her a nasty text about knowing she didn't go home, to go be with Brad or Joe or whoever and never call me again. It was a lot more profane than that but that's the gist of it. Cleaned up the house my stepdad lent me and back off to the farm yet again. The next day she blows up my phone and again I wait another day to talk to her. She tells me that she went home but I know that can't be true from the snow, but she says I must have been mistaken. She apologizes for getting drunk and leavening and that she is going to stop drinking after her birthday in two weeks. She has rented a hotel in the town I'm in for her birthday and wants to spend it with me. I agree just because I have to know the truth and want to look at her phone to make sure I am not crazy. She had gaslit me to the point I was questioning what I saw with my own eyes. A couple of days later I decided to send Joe a message on Facebook to see if he would give me the truth. I get a text from her telling me not to bug her friend and that she is embarrassed. I apologize and tell her I am excited about her birthday soon.
The weekend of her birthday comes so I go to meet her at the hotel. She brought her sister and other friend along. It actually is a really fun time. The girls did coke the first night into the second evening. I don't really like it but I figured she can let loose especially if she is going to stop drinking after her birthday. I also knew by Saturday night that they would all crash hard so it would give me time to look at her phone so I could know the truth. As I mentioned the weekend was really fun so I felt bad about going into her phone yet again. I did it anyway and my whole world came crashing down. Now I figured that I would maybe see Brad or Joe texts and Facebook messages. Seemed like Brad was done but Joe and her were totally hooking up. I also found out that she had slept with 3 other guys. I also saw she was using coke all the time now. She did it maybe three times a year when we dated but now it was every weekend. It looked like she started using regularly right before I left for the farm. Joe helped get it for her too, out of all the guys he was the one she hung with the most. Turns out he was also a meth head who was trying to quit for her. She also went to his house the morning she left the other weekend to hook up and buy coke. I was floored. I just staired and took screen shots till the early morning. I decided I wasn't just going to dump her but I wanted to ruin her life not realizing she was already doing that all by herself but hindsight is 20 20. So I started coming up with a plan of what I was going to do. I woke up the next morning and acted like everything was fine and went back to the farm. I was still so upset and didn't want to harm myself or others so had a family friend take my firearms for a while. I don't think I would have used them on myself or others but I knew I wasn't thinking clearly and didn't want them in my house while I was like that.
I didn't have to see her till I moved back because the next set I had off I had tickets for a concert in the city I used to live in. During that time all I thought about was how I was going to do something to ruin her life. I came up with some small things but my main plan was to pretend like we were fine and ghost her when my contract was up with my boss next winter. I had promised him another year after kali and I had gotten back together. Just typing it out makes me look back and cringe that I was so crazy. When I went to the city for the concert I told my best friend, my brother and a few others my plan. No one liked it and thought I should just go no contact, cut her straight out of my life. That probably was the smart thing to do but emotion was clouding my judgement. Also you all would get this story. They even informed me that because I would be lying to her, that I would be compromising my morals and turning into a worse person they didn't recognize. I either didn't see it that way or care. I have a hard time recalling what my brain was thinking during that time. All seems like a haze now that it's been a year. I think I was really upset that my dream and all I had worked for was ruined. A friend later said I may have been in love with the dream and not her. Maybe that's the reason I kept up all this insanity.
My time on the farm had come to an end and I was moving back to the town me and my ex lived in. I was set with my plan, excited to implement it and have what I considered just. But you know what they say of the best laid plans. My ex wanted to go to hang at her brothers as a welcome home party. I went but ended up drinking. Heavily drinking, to the point of black out. I don't remember much from that night but have had it recounted for me. I woke up in the drunk tank. Guess I couldn't lie and play it cool then huh? The story I was told later is, while at her brothers I had gotten drunk and loud. Kept waking up the new baby and we were asked to leave. So we caught a cab and I confronted her in the cab but all I could do was call her a lying, cheating, whore on repeat. She got upset and ran into the house locking me out. I had a bunch of my stuff in her house so I went to the door and demanded she let me in. All the while still only referring to her as the aforementioned 3 words. She told me to leave but my jacket and wallet were inside. It was below freezing at night still and probably wouldn't have made it home in the state I was in. I then kicked in her door to keep calling her LCW and grab my stuff. She was on the phone to the police, so I was taken away by them. One of the lowest points in my life. It still brings me so much shame to this day but it is what happened and I am not going to sugar coat it. I never laid a finger on her and I am so happy that I hadn't. Laying hands on women in that way is one of the scummiest things a man can do. I had to go back to her house once they let me out because my stuff was still there. I apologized to her mom who had been at her boyfriends that evening promising to repair the door for her. Kali begged me to talk to her and like an idiot I didn't just leave. I told her I saw everything and she only admitted to Brad and Joe. Lying about them and the others the whole time. Even when I brought up the screen shots she still couldn't come clean. I left just shaking my head. There is still a ton to this story but this is long enough. I could do a part 2 if there is interest. Catching you folks up to where I am now and the messed up things that happened in between.

I wish I could include a voice note just so that you guys can hear this. It’s literally 10:41 PM at night. I’m in extreme pain from my period cramps it feels like someone is stabbing my stomach and my mom is downstairs in her room, just yelling, and saying the most disgusting abusive shit to me!! calling me an animal and I’m going nowhere in my life but when I made over $300,000 I gave it all to her and now I’m fucking broke.. she’s the reason that I dropped out of high school, the reason I have PTSD because she used to fucking stand on my head and shit! Literally fucking sliced me! shaved my head bald and put fucking habanero peppers in my fucking vagina!!!!! I even had to jump over three-story building once because her ex-husband was chasing me with a fucking machete!!
It’s just crazy to me because she looks for absolutely any chance she gets just to turn it into an issue and escalate it just so the spotlight or whatever she thinks can be on her like bro it’s 10:44 PM. This is ridiculous!!!! Honestly this happens a lot, so I feel like it should be normal for me, but I’m just in too much pain to be listening to her bullshit right now.. what’s wild is this is all because of fucking Apple juice FUCKING APPLE JUICE BOXES!!
So I had to go to the grocery store for my baby brothers school movie day and I bought him a bunch of snacks. There was a whole drama in the car but to be honest I’m too tired to say the whole story, but in the car, she was literally yelling and saying how she’s gonna crash the whole entire car and was literally screaming at me and the kids in the car… And then I think she said the list in her head and thought she said it to me and literally no one in the entire car heard her say a word and she thought she said it out loud so I told her she didn’t and she said she’s gonna crash the car and kill us…
In my head, I was laughing which is scary because like that’s not funny but it’s just happened so many times that at this point I’m like OK just crash the car because all you do is talk shit… (obviously I said it in my head because I feel like if I said it out loud that’s when she would actually crash the car and I’m too young to die. I’m only 20) Anyways, it’s just really crazy to me though that she’s still yelling about that incident right now and it’s like three days after…
I feel like I’m rambling at this point but I’m just really tired and I can’t go to sleep because there’s so much noise. I’m just a bit happy that I am over 18 and she can’t actually hit me because even though I’m respectful and I really do not like to fight my mother like I’ve never actually fought her but I swear if she comes upstairs and gets in my way, I’m throwing the fucking hands and leaving!!
The only reason I can’t even leave this fucking house, is because she took all the money I have, and still has the audacity to talk shit to me! I can’t even leave because I don’t have my American citizenship or green card I’m on a renewable visa which is under her.. but now that I’ve seen her true colors I’m really about to work so fucking hard and get my money up and honestly just try to pay for citizenship or pay someone to marry me or something because I can’t keep living like this.. like I’ll probably hire an accountant and a really good lawyer to help me cause I’m in bondage rn! This is so fucking toxic
This is really long I just want to say I’m sorry in advance. I’m just so fucking pissed right now and in so much pain. Plus I have lost so much growing up because of her I was thinking about like all the bullshit I’ve gone through as a child growing up. Like there’s one of my uncles who she literally cut his hand. Obviously there’s a bone there, so it couldn’t all fall off, but it was literally dangling in front of me and then I got intensely beat up just because she thought I slept with him. LIKE I WAS FUCKING 10 IDK WTF THAT IS!! The insane part is I kept getting beat up until I was bleeding and they wouldn’t stop till I admitted to doing it smh I really been through some shit and it’s just now sinking into my head like that’s not normal cause I just overlooked it and went numb over the years and said it’s in the past so it is what it is but no it’s not what the fuck it is!!!
I’ve brought this up to her in the past but she just acts like it never happened or wasn’t important or I’m just over talking and she never treated me like that like what??? I literally have marks and witnesses like his hand is still stitched how tf are you gonna gaslight me??? what’s wild is because they made me admit to doing that that every time an uncle came to visit, it would happen again, and again, and again, I literally had to beg my uncles to stop visiting because they would just beat me even for staring or talking about Mickey Mouse (yes precisely I was beat for that)
I’m gonna just stop this here because I could go on for days and I’m just in too much pain both physically emotionally and mentally…. everyone just thinks I’m cool and chilling, but like I really live in a toxic ass home and I lived through hell at such a young age and still getting insulted daily and treated like shit!!

I wish I could include a voice note just so that you guys can hear this. It’s literally 10:41 PM at night. I’m in extreme pain from my period cramps it feels like someone is stabbing my stomach and my mom is downstairs in her room, just yelling, and saying the most disgusting abusive shit to me!! calling me an animal and I’m going nowhere in my life but when I made over $300,000 I gave it all to her and now I’m fucking broke.. she’s the reason that I dropped out of high school, the reason I have PTSD because she used to fucking stand on my head and shit! Literally fucking sliced me! shaved my head bald and put fucking habanero peppers in my fucking vagina!!!!! I even had to jump over three-story building once because her ex-husband was chasing me with a fucking machete!!
It’s just crazy to me because she looks for absolutely any chance she gets just to turn it into an issue and escalate it just so the spotlight or whatever she thinks can be on her like bro it’s 10:44 PM. This is ridiculous!!!! Honestly this happens a lot, so I feel like it should be normal for me, but I’m just in too much pain to be listening to her bullshit right now.. what’s wild is this is all because of fucking Apple juice FUCKING APPLE JUICE BOXES!!
So I had to go to the grocery store for my baby brothers school movie day and I bought him a bunch of snacks. There was a whole drama in the car but to be honest I’m too tired to say the whole story, but in the car, she was literally yelling and saying how she’s gonna crash the whole entire car and was literally screaming at me and the kids in the car… And then I think she said the list in her head and thought she said it to me and literally no one in the entire car heard her say a word and she thought she said it out loud so I told her she didn’t and she said she’s gonna crash the car and kill us…
In my head, I was laughing which is scary because like that’s not funny but it’s just happened so many times that at this point I’m like OK just crash the car because all you do is talk shit… (obviously I said it in my head because I feel like if I said it out loud that’s when she would actually crash the car and I’m too young to die. I’m only 20) Anyways, it’s just really crazy to me though that she’s still yelling about that incident right now and it’s like three days after…
I feel like I’m rambling at this point but I’m just really tired and I can’t go to sleep because there’s so much noise. I’m just a bit happy that I am over 18 and she can’t actually hit me because even though I’m respectful and I really do not like to fight my mother like I’ve never actually fought her but I swear if she comes upstairs and gets in my way, I’m throwing the fucking hands and leaving!!
The only reason I can’t even leave this fucking house, is because she took all the money I have, and still has the audacity to talk shit to me! I can’t even leave because I don’t have my American citizenship or green card I’m on a renewable visa which is under her.. but now that I’ve seen her true colors I’m really about to work so fucking hard and get my money up and honestly just try to pay for citizenship or pay someone to marry me or something because I can’t keep living like this.. like I’ll probably hire an accountant and a really good lawyer to help me cause I’m in bondage rn! This is so fucking toxic
This is really long I just want to say I’m sorry in advance. I’m just so fucking pissed right now and in so much pain. Plus I have lost so much growing up because of her I was thinking about like all the bullshit I’ve gone through as a child growing up. Like there’s one of my uncles who she literally cut his hand. Obviously there’s a bone there, so it couldn’t all fall off, but it was literally dangling in front of me and then I got intensely beat up just because she thought I slept with him. LIKE I WAS FUCKING 10 IDK WTF THAT IS!! The insane part is I kept getting beat up until I was bleeding and they wouldn’t stop till I admitted to doing it smh I really been through some shit and it’s just now sinking into my head like that’s not normal cause I just overlooked it and went numb over the years and said it’s in the past so it is what it is but no it’s not what the fuck it is!!!
I’ve brought this up to her in the past but she just acts like it never happened or wasn’t important or I’m just over talking and she never treated me like that like what??? I literally have marks and witnesses like his hand is still stitched how tf are you gonna gaslight me??? what’s wild is because they made me admit to doing that that every time an uncle came to visit, it would happen again, and again, and again, I literally had to beg my uncles to stop visiting because they would just beat me even for staring or talking about Mickey Mouse (yes precisely I was beat for that)
I’m gonna just stop this here because I could go on for days and I’m just in too much pain both physically emotionally and mentally…. everyone just thinks I’m cool and chilling, but like I really live in a toxic ass home and I lived through hell at such a young age and still getting insulted daily and treated like shit!!

Hello, I'm sharing my story here, written with the help of ChatGPT, as I struggle to express myself in English. I have been battling depression since I was 12 and at 20, it still lingers. Growing up, I faced intense academic pressure and social anxiety, which made attending school a daunting task. Despite my desire to drop out, my parents, who are narcissistic, insisted otherwise, often resorting to force and physical punishment to compel me to attend. They do all this to show people that their son has certificates, as there's enormous envy between them, my father's brother, and his wife.
This envy stems from a desire for their children to excel and be better than each other. It's a constant competition, and I often feel like I'm caught in the middle of this rivalry.
At 18, I went to Malaysia, also not by my will. I failed, and my parents did things I couldn't imagine how they could do as a result of my failure. Yet, they sent me again at 20 after I spent a year of torture alone. More than $10,000 was wasted in this process.
Recently, I took a significant step by moving over 6000 miles away from my parents to study in Malaysia. This decision was not entirely voluntary, as they insisted on this path for me. The distance has provided some relief, but the weight of my past experiences still affects me deeply.
To cope with this immense sadness and sense of isolation, I started smoking. This was my way of attempting to manage my emotions, though I know it's not a healthy solution. I want to clarify that I'm not seeking attention by sharing my story here; I rarely talk about these struggles and felt it was time to reach out for support.
I dream of sitting at home forever until I die, as I feel it's the only place where I can find peace and solace. Additionally, my struggle with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) was a significant factor in my desire to drop out, as it made attending school even more challenging.
Has anyone else faced similar challenges, and how have you coped with them?

I wish I could include a voice note just so that you guys can hear this. It’s literally 10:41 PM at night. I’m in extreme pain from my period cramps it feels like someone is stabbing my stomach and my mom is downstairs in her room, just yelling, and saying the most disgusting abusive shit to me!! calling me an animal and I’m going nowhere in my life but when I made over $300,000 I gave it all to her and now I’m fucking broke.. she’s the reason that I dropped out of high school, the reason I have PTSD because she used to fucking stand on my head and shit! Literally fucking sliced me! shaved my head bald and put fucking habanero peppers in my fucking vagina!!!!! I even had to jump over three-story building once because her ex-husband was chasing me with a fucking machete!!
It’s just crazy to me because she looks for absolutely any chance she gets just to turn it into an issue and escalate it just so the spotlight or whatever she thinks can be on her like bro it’s 10:44 PM. This is ridiculous!!!! Honestly this happens a lot, so I feel like it should be normal for me, but I’m just in too much pain to be listening to her bullshit right now.. what’s wild is this is all because of fucking Apple juice FUCKING APPLE JUICE BOXES!!
So I had to go to the grocery store for my baby brothers school movie day and I bought him a bunch of snacks. There was a whole drama in the car but to be honest I’m too tired to say the whole story, but in the car, she was literally yelling and saying how she’s gonna crash the whole entire car and was literally screaming at me and the kids in the car… And then I think she said the list in her head and thought she said it to me and literally no one in the entire car heard her say a word and she thought she said it out loud so I told her she didn’t and she said she’s gonna crash the car and kill us…
In my head, I was laughing which is scary because like that’s not funny but it’s just happened so many times that at this point I’m like OK just crash the car because all you do is talk shit… (obviously I said it in my head because I feel like if I said it out loud that’s when she would actually crash the car and I’m too young to die. I’m only 20) Anyways, it’s just really crazy to me though that she’s still yelling about that incident right now and it’s like three days after…
I feel like I’m rambling at this point but I’m just really tired and I can’t go to sleep because there’s so much noise. I’m just a bit happy that I am over 18 and she can’t actually hit me because even though I’m respectful and I really do not like to fight my mother like I’ve never actually fought her but I swear if she comes upstairs and gets in my way, I’m throwing the fucking hands and leaving!!
The only reason I can’t even leave this fucking house, is because she took all the money I have, and still has the audacity to talk shit to me! I can’t even leave because I don’t have my American citizenship or green card I’m on a renewable visa which is under her.. but now that I’ve seen her true colors I’m really about to work so fucking hard and get my money up and honestly just try to pay for citizenship or pay someone to marry me or something because I can’t keep living like this.. like I’ll probably hire an accountant and a really good lawyer to help me cause I’m in bondage rn! This is so fucking toxic
This is really long I just want to say I’m sorry in advance. I’m just so fucking pissed right now and in so much pain. Plus I have lost so much growing up because of her I was thinking about like all the bullshit I’ve gone through as a child growing up. Like there’s one of my uncles who she literally cut his hand. Obviously there’s a bone there, so it couldn’t all fall off, but it was literally dangling in front of me and then I got intensely beat up just because she thought I slept with him. LIKE I WAS FUCKING 10 IDK WTF THAT IS!! The insane part is I kept getting beat up until I was bleeding and they wouldn’t stop till I admitted to doing it smh I really been through some shit and it’s just now sinking into my head like that’s not normal cause I just overlooked it and went numb over the years and said it’s in the past so it is what it is but no it’s not what the fuck it is!!!
I’ve brought this up to her in the past but she just acts like it never happened or wasn’t important or I’m just over talking and she never treated me like that like what??? I literally have marks and witnesses like his hand is still stitched how tf are you gonna gaslight me??? what’s wild is because they made me admit to doing that that every time an uncle came to visit, it would happen again, and again, and again, I literally had to beg my uncles to stop visiting because they would just beat me even for staring or talking about Mickey Mouse (yes precisely I was beat for that)
I’m gonna just stop this here because I could go on for days and I’m just in too much pain both physically emotionally and mentally…. everyone just thinks I’m cool and chilling, but like I really live in a toxic ass home and I lived through hell at such a young age and still getting insulted daily and treated like shit!!

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/MediumGrouchy5547
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
I found my sister who disappeared from everyone more than 15 years ago after she ran away from home
Trigger Warnings: abandonment, depression, self-harm, eating disorder, possible mental health issues
Editor’s Note: TCA stands for trastornos de la conducta alimentaria which translates into “eating disorder”
Rastafarian: a religious movement
Original Post: April 26, 2024
I'm really happy and confused and I really don't know if I can talk about this with friends and family but I need to share my experience with someone because I missed my sister. I don't need or want any advice since no one really knows the situation to be able to give a good advice without assuming things they don't know and it's weird to read people talking about my sister like if they know what she lived, I just want to share this and I know a lot of people have had experiences like this too so maybe someone can relate.
When I was 10 years old my older sister who was 22 at that time disappeared after leaving a note to our parents saying that she's okay and just wants to start over her life.
My sister was always a lonely but outgoing person, she always told me that she enjoyed solitude from time to time and noisy things took away from her quality of life because tbh it was loud LOUD where we lived and it was annoying even for me (we lived in a dangerous neighborhood so it wasn't too safe and she hated not being able to go for a walk at night or do things at night alone), she was depressed and I remember seeing her suffering from severe anxiety attacks, she used to hit herself to stop them and she had a strong TCA that triggered those things. She suffered from other mental issues as well and talked freely about that, she talked about those things in front of me and these are things that leave a mark on you.
She was the favorite of the whole family although mi parents never out pressure on her, they always let us do our life (my brother who was 19 at that time knows that, my sister was the golden child), my grandfather always made it clear that she is his favorite granddaughter, even now. She was the calm but funny kind of person, she was the closest to my parents and uncles so when she disappeared from one day to the next no one understood what was going on.
Even my sister had never traveled alone except to go to work and she always notified my mother that she was okay for safety reasons. She left a long note clarifying that she doesn't want to be searched but she loves us. It was a big blow for the family, I remember my mother wanting to report to the police but they said that my sister was not a minor and the note said that she left by her own so they can't do anything.
In a way, my other brother knew that this would happen at some point, since our sister mentioned a lot that she wanted to leave everything and go live in the countryside or become a nun and live in a calm place without any worries but nobody took her seriously about that. She was always the kind of person who did things without telling anyone, she liked her solitude sometimes even if she was always friendly.
The first months and weeks were strange, it wasn't that she had passed away but that she disappeared because she wanted to, I remember my mother missing her because they always shared the afternoons together.
I also missed her a lot, Even years later my family missed her and at Christmas or her birthday someone would always say "maybe she'll show up now" or we would wonder how she's doing or if she was alive.
Back to the present. I'm on vacation in the south of my country (This part of my country is very expensive for a tourist and I am the only one in my family who was able to come now that I am an adult), it's a place full of villages and while I was exploring I came to a place where they sold typical handicrafts of the place.
While shopping I can swear that the first thing I saw was my sister looking at some crafts on a shelf, she looked more adult but obviously I recognized her instantly, we are really similar after all.
I didn't really knew how to react after so many years and I didn't know how she would react, but I went over and said her name. What I didn't expected was that she would smile instantly when she saw me and called me by my nickname. I thought she had escaped because she didn't wanted anything to do with the family even if in the note she said she loves us, but she was greeting me as if nothing had happened.
She told me that she didn't expected to see me there and asked me if I was on vacation, she said that the village used to be not so touristy but now more people started to go and many villagers opened stores for the tourists. I was upset, I was angry with her for leaving us and pretending that nothing happened but I couldn't react so I just asked her if she lives in that town and she said yes, It's a place filled with old people.
We talked for a few seconds, she asked me what I'm studying and if everyone at home is okay, she told me I'm taller and thinner. Then she gave me a kiss on the cheek and told me that if I have a few days off I can go visit her but she doesn't have a cell phone so she told me that she's almost everyday there. My sister also told me to send hugs to our parents.
I'm confused and full of questions about her, she doesn't even wants to hide, she didn't looked or talked to me like someone who wanted to run away from something and hide. She was just happy to see me and happy to know that we were all good.
But I also feel resentment for her when I think about all that our parents and grandparents suffered when she disappeared, making my mother feel that she was a bad mother because she couldn't protect her.
But I'm ambivalent as I'm also happy to know that she's okay and that she doesn't hate me or the family but I'm also confused, Her behavior wasn't that of someone who is hiding or who doesn't want to know anything about her past, she was just happy to hear about us.
Edit: I'm sorry but there are people who clearly don't read the post, there are literally people saying that I didn't even knew my sister and commenting as if they knew her and taking things for granted about her life, there are even people saying that they don't understand why I'm 'angry' (it's just a feeling, a normal feeling, it's not that I hate her and I will treat her badly, god. Nor will I talk to my family without talking to her first, at what point in the post did I say that I'm going to expose her? I'm never going to treat her badly either because I have no reason to do so, It's crazy how half the comments draw silly conclusions) with my sister when i literally say it up there, even if my English is bad because it's not my first language, just read the post before you want to get a few likes for some unnecessary advice.
Additional Information from OOP on his sister’s note

OOP: My sister in the note said that she loves our parents, my brother was 19 when our sister left and he himself knows how much our parents loved and supported her when she was having a hard time with herself but the outside always affected her badly.
I was ten years old but I wasn't a baby and I remember what the family dynamic was like, I remember the feeling of my family, my parents are not narcissists and my sister loved them and they love who's my sister, she just had her own problems.
How could a parent miss the idea of their children? There's not a day when my parents don't miss everything about my sister, they miss sharing the day with her, my father even missed when she was cranky. My parents always let us go our own way and I can assure you that they never pressured us to be what they wanted us to be, I don't even know what they want us to be.

Relevant Comments
Mil1512: Is your sister neurodivergent?
With the hitting herself when struggling with anxiety and enjoying solitude.
I'm neurodivergent and my family live in another country. I honestly forget to talk to them most of the time and only really do because my mum messages me first. If she didn't we just wouldn't talk. Not due to any hate or anything, I'm just happy doing my own thing.

OOP: She's not. My sister had a lot of self-destructive behaviors and hurting herself was one of them when she felt 'fat', she also had eating disorders and panic attacks because of that. I don't remember too much but she did other things to not eat besides hitting herself, she was very open about her TCA and yes, she has a diagnosis from a professional.
My sister was always in touch with my mother and everyone in text, she always used to keep in touch when she was going out until the day she left, now she doesn't even have a phone. In her note she just said that she wanted to leave everything

mikuzgrl: It almost seems like the sister has been in contact with someone for a while and thinks news is being passed back and forth.

OOP: I never thought about that but I don't think so, seeing how my parents miss her I think the first thing the family would do would be to at least tell my father that she is okay :/

 
Can people just stop with the aggressive messages? Weirdos: May 1, 2024
I understand that many reflect their personal traumas in this site, but I literally received passive-aggressive messages calling me idiot or even telling me that I would hate my sister if she were neurodivergent or claiming that my parents abused her.
What's wrong with y'all? Go to a psychologist and stop reflecting your unresolved traumas in the story of a person you don't even know. Go out and touch grass and talk to a real person instead of literally sending private messages like that.
I didn't asked for any advice and just wanted to share my story because that's the point of that subreddit, but many took it the wrong way and decided to turn something positive into a way to fight.
I don't even understand why out of nowhere I started getting those kinds of messages or if someone share that post on a weird place.
 
Editor’s Note: TLP is trastorno límite de la personalidad which translates into Borderline Personality Disorder
Update: May 7, 2024
On sunday I finally found my sister again, she was selling things in the park with other stands, all of them are rastafari, not hippies or a sect. I walked over and she greeted me just as happily, we talked a couple of things and my sister told me that she doesn't have a cell phone so it was impossible for her to tell me that she wouldn't be there on Saturday.
I spent the afternoon with her at her stand and after that we went to her house, she lives alone (and sometimes with her friends). We talked for a while and at one point she broke down and hugged me, saying she was trying to stay calm all this time and didn't knew how to react because she didn't wanted to make me cry too bc she remembered that I was really sensitive but she couldn't hold it anymore. We cried and talked a lot.
My sister was tired of people, she said that our house was her safe place but hated the idea of having to work everyday and I didn't wanted to study anything, she was our parents' golden child, so they let her do whatever she wanted, but she knew that at some point she had to make something of her life. She was tired of how stupid and empty everyone was, of the politicians, of the TV showing empty things, of the noise everywhere outside when she wanted peace, even sleeping in our home was stressful for everyone because of the noises outside during the weekends when she wanted to be alone to smoke and listen music (tbh, In my memories as a child I didn't remember the obvious smell of joints that my sister had all the time)
That added to the pressure that society put on her to be physically perfect make her want to leave everything behind.
She didn't wanted to die but realized that my parents were miserable when they saw her being miserable, this is something I didn't know, but my sister said that our father had two jobs to be able to pay for her psychologist and medication, also my father used to spoil her a lot with the only food she eat without guilty. Running away was like dying symbolically.
My sister says that although our parents always supported her, she felt like a failture for not being able to improve and always relapsing, she felt bad to see our father working so hard and also wanted to live according to her spiritual mentality, free from all that is toxic in society.
All of those things make her ran away from everything, she felt like a burden and also didn't wanted to live a life working and miserable like everyone.
Sis told me that she never contacted us because she doesn't wants to have a cell phone and a trip to our province is too expensive to her because it's basically going from one end of the country to the other.
She hates capitalist society with all her soul and doesn't even have a TV. My sister said that she is much better now away from the city. My sister told me that she wants to talk to our parents but doesn't knows what to say and we don't want to give them parents a shock since our dad was sick a few days ago and is recovering from dengue.
I'm writing this with her beside me and doesn't understand what's the point of this site (The last social network she used was fotolog in 2007) but said that she doesn't mind if I post this. She wanted to write something but said she doesn't like writing in English haha
My sister was reading the comments and wants me to clarify that she never suffered any kind of a abuse, she has a lot of friends and never had any problem with anyone but likes to be alone from time to time to meditate.
And she's not neurodivergent (She said her behavior was normal because of her TLP), suffers from ED, borderline personality disorder and see a psychologist twice a month.
During her adolescence, the blogs Ana and mia were trendy, her friends had that 'aesthetic' and she was popular in fotolog (according to my sister, at that time it was taken as an aesthetic and even a book about that was really popular between teens, maybe someone from my country knows Abzurdah?). She hated going out when she felt fat, she couldn't have imperfections like cuts on her arms so she hurt herself with a rubber band when she overate, something she read in those blogs. Now she's in a good weight but it took her really long to not relapse again. It's been a long recovery for her and once you're anorexic you never stop being anorexic, she's always afraid of relapsing.
So that's it for now, we don't know how we're going to talk with our parents without making them freak out. And also my sister after seeing the comments on the post saw other reddit posts and said that her life is definitely better without a cell phone, she says that things like fotolog was the beginning of all evil haha
Relevant Comments
OOP on his sister being involved with Rastafari

OOP: Idk how it is in other countries to be honest, my sister doesn't live in community and there are no camps, she's one of the few who has a house because most of them prefer to travel around the country.
I really think it's impossible for them to be 100% Rastafarian here tbh because we are from South America and the Rastafarian community here is obviously totally different from the REAL Rastafarians, they just follow most of the philosophy
Edit: for example, my sister doesn't consider herself Rastafarian but she share some points of the philosophy they have, I don't know how the rest of them thinks

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/AdhesivenessMurky204
Originally posted to AITAH
AITAH for separating from my husband because he refused to get a vasectomy?
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Editor’s Note: added paragraph breaks for readability
Trigger Warnings: PTSD, mentions of abortion, domestic abuse, verbal abuse, sexual assault, rape
Original Post: April 28, 2024
My husband (28M, who I will call Jack) and I (27F) have been together for 4 years, we have 2 young children and I am pregnant again. I have been pregnant for what feels like most of our relationship. I got pregnant 4 months into our relationship. We got married a month before our daughter’s 1st birthday and ended up with a honeymoon baby. After our son was born, I talked to my OB and she put me on birth control and I have been taking it militantly.
My daughter is now 3 and my son is 2. A little over a month ago I discovered I am pregnant again, despite taking my birth control religiously. Abortion is banned in my state, and the pregnancy was discovered too far along to attempt to obtain one out of state. While Jack and I were nervous, we also love being parents and decided that 3 young kids would be a challenge, but 3 was a good number for us. Then we went in for the first ultrasound and got some unexpected news - it’s twins.
Things have been tough financially, and while we were stressed but excited for a third child, we were not expecting a third and fourth child. Beyond the finances, I am the primary caretaker and I know that twins is going to be a lot, three children under 5 is already a lot, but 4 children under 5 is going to be really really difficult for me. Physically, I am tired of being pregnant. I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding the majority of our relationship. It’s exhausting, it feels awful, and I don’t recognize my body anymore.
Four children is enough. I don’t want more. I told Jack that I was done with pregnancy, I’ve been pregnant enough, I’ve been experimenting with different types of birth control for over a decade and I still can’t stop getting pregnant, abortion isn’t a valid option where we live, we need something more permanent. He agreed, and suggested an IUD, I told him no - if it did fail then it could cause an ectopic pregnancy which could kill me, especially where we live. I’ve had both control fail me multiple times already and I’m not taking the chance, so I suggested a vasectomy. He was not open to the idea, and was even upset that I suggested it and told me I should get my tubes tied. I told him a tubal ligation is a much bigger surgery and I could be recovering for weeks during which time I wouldn’t be able to work or take care of our 4 young children, but he could ice his balls for a day or two and be done with it. He told me that not getting pregnant was ultimately my responsibility, and topped it off by saying “that’s what your body your choice means, YOUR body, so YOU choose.” That’s when it went from a discussion to a full blown fight.
See, when I was 19 I had another birth control failure with my boyfriend at the time (who I will call Tom). I wanted an abortion, Tom did not because he was opposed. I told him I was getting the abortion since it was my body and my choice, and Tom said some horrible things to me, including threatening me. I broke up with him and got the abortion. In response, Tom ended up following me one night and attacking me. I don’t want to go into detail but it was horrible, and he ended up going to prison for a number of charges related to the attack. Not only do I have a number of scars and some long lasting physical effects, but I have PTSD as well.
Jack knows about my history and diagnosis, and has known from the beginning. I have a pretty prominent facial scar so I was upfront about it early on in our dating. Jack always presented himself as very pro-choice, so I was shocked that he would say that. I got really emotional and started crying and shouting, and it turned into a full-blown fight.
Eventually I said that birth control is a two-way street and so far I’ve been the only one managing it and he said “and now we have 2 kids and 2 more coming, great job.” I told him he sounded like Tom and he got super pissed, basically said how dare you compare me to him, and maybe he might want kids one day with someone who doesn’t compare him to her felon ex-boyfriend. I was stunned and horrified. I said “well then let’s not waste any fucking time,”then packed up myself and the kids and drove to my parents place.
It’s been about a week since the fight. I’ve spoken with Jack a few times and he has since apologized and said he was out of line and was speaking from a place of anxiety after finding out about the twins, but also that I said things that were out of line and it was wrong of me to insist he undergo a medical procedure. He said that can move on from the things I said and that he wants to see his children and be a family again. I told him no, that I didn’t want to “move on” from the things he said to me. I can’t just get over that and I think we need space apart. Jack was upset by this and while we talked I brought up getting a separation agreement to manage custody and finances while we figure things out. He did not like this suggestion, said we didn’t need to pull the courts into this.
I haven’t told a lot of people about what’s happening but my family and a couple close friends. My sister and best friend both think I should throw the whole man away, but my brother (who is the only other one married with kids) thinks that I’m being extreme for what sums up to a fight between two scared people who both said nasty things. My mom is trying to be supportive but is occasionally reminding me that I “don’t want to be a single mother of 4” and telling me not to let my PTSD drive my decisions, while my dad is being completely unhelpful (he thinks jokes are helpful - like calling me Doorknob because I “can’t stop getting knocked up”, telling me to let the oven cool down, real knee-slappers). I don’t know what to do. My kids are happy to be at grandma and grandpas house but they miss their daddy, I’m 4 months pregnant and already uncomfortable as hell, I wish I could go back to being a happy little family but I’m so hung up on the things he said in that fight. Am I destroying my family over one bad night? Am I being unreasonable for asking my husband to get a vasectomy?
Edit: I've noticed a lot of people recommending condoms. I have gotten pregnant with condoms twice. Our second child and my first pregnancy were both conceived using condoms properly (correct fit, put on correctly, single use, not expired, no breaks, etc). I do not trust condoms enough to not fail a third time. I know the failure rate is supposedly small, but it's not personally small enough for me. Edit to the edit: I'm sorry, I didn't expect so many comments so fast and I can't keep up with them. By the first pregnancy I mean the pregnancy with Tom. With Jack I was on the patch when I got pregnant with our daughter, condoms with our son, and the pill with the twins. So far I haven't ever suspected that Jack has tampered with our birth control and always presumed that I'm a fertile Myrtle.
I recognize the comments and just want people to know I'm seeing the suggestion. I'm not dismissing it, but the thought of it is deeply upsetting and has provoked a lot of anxiety. I just wanted to make it clear that if the suggestion is only based on the condoms, that the condom pregnancies were with two different partners. While I know I always used condoms properly with Tom, I do believe that Tom could have been fully capable of sabotaging the condoms.
AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP received mixed reactions of NTAs and YTAs
Relevant Comments
deepsleepsheepmeep: NTA. Your husband is though. Your body has already been through A LOT. A tubal ligation is a serious surgery and you are right about being out of commission for a while when recovering. If he is more concerned with an imaginary future wife than he is for you, I don’t think there is much hope for this marriage.
We have 4 close friends who all got vasectomies. None of them bitched about it like your wimp of a husband. We actually had fun vasectomy themed parties for them.
On the off chance he does end up getting a vasectomy, make sure to do the follow up appointments. One of the vasectomy fab 4 did not follow through and ended up with a post-vasectomy baby.

OOP: Thank you, I feel like this is a lot of what has been so upsetting has been that he's thinking about some imaginary future wife when I'm right here, his actual wife, the mother of his children. It's like he's already imagining a future without me.

 
Update: AITAH for separating from my husband because he refused to get a vasectomy?: May 3, 2024
I didn’t expect so many comments and literally couldn’t go through them all. It seemed like the majority of people said I was NTA but I did get a lot of YTAs telling me I was trying to force him to get a medical procedure and telling me to get one instead. Besides already addressing my reasonings why I made my request in the original post (which I want you to read with real "per my last email" energy), I in no way am *forcing* him to have a medical procedure, but I am saying that I do not want to be with a partner who is not willing to be snipped. This is an issue of compatibility. The number of children you want, the methods of birth control you’re willing to use, those are issues of compatibility and a reason relationships end all the time. If he doesn’t want to be sterilized that’s fine, but then that means that we’re not compatible anymore, since it means he wants more children and I don’t. Beyond that there were some YTA comments and some DMs that were just nasty, calling me a murderer and saying my body is a cemetery. Sadly enough, I expected those types of comments, because I know there are a lot of Toms out in the world.
First I wanted to address a couple things that kept coming up, because last post turned into thousands of comments that all said about 5 different things, so to avoid my inbox becoming another echo chamber:

You’re 100% going to have a C-section anyway so just get a tubal while giving birth.

No, I’m not 100% going to have a C-section anyway. Twins are not an automatic C-section. With my birth history there is no reason to presume that a C-section is in my future. My OB agrees, and has discussed the possibility as doctors have to do but also said that based on my past two birth experiences, I'm a "perfect candidate" for vaginal delivery.
I also am not going to mince words: tubal ligations are *less* effective than vasectomies with a *much higher* likelihood of an ectopic pregnancy. Ectopic pregnancy can *kill me*. In fact I got a PM from a woman who is a fellow fertile Myrtle who had an ectopic after a tubal. I am rejecting birth control options that, if they fail, would lead to my likely death. I don’t want to be pregnant again but I also don’t want to die and leave my children motherless, and in no way should anyone assume that traveling to another state to obtain an emergency abortion will continue to be an option in the future - we live in scary times, and Gilead is a real possibility. The comments seemed to have the vibe that people think that ligations are magically more effective than vasectomies and vasectomies are more of a whisper of sterility than an actual sterilization method so for those in the back VASECTOMIES ARE MORE EFFECTIVE THAN TUBAL LIGATIONS, FULL STOP. So I really need y’all to shut up about it.

Go to another state and obtain an abortion anyway.

I appreciate the personal offers to help I received in DMs deeply, but no. I’m in my 2nd trimester, which I know is still legal in some places, however I am at a point in my pregnancy where I personally as an individual do not feel comfortable obtaining an abortion, considering I would be *even farther* along by the time I could travel (which is not only finances, but logistics as well). I am 16 weeks pregnant now, these babies aren’t just clusters of cells to me anymore, and I’m not going to expand on that since it’s not up for debate.

Why not adoption?

With love and respect to everyone who has gone through adoption in all its aspects, adoption is absolutely not for me. This is a thought process I already went through 8 years ago, and now that I’m a mother and not a scared teenager I know it’s even less for me. I personally could not go through with it and come out the other side intact. Going through a full pregnancy, having my babies, and then being separated from them would break me.

Leave him and give him full custody of the twins

No. Because going through a full pregnancy, having my babies, and then being separated from them would break me. Jesus, some of y’all.

Just have a sexless marriage.

No. I love banging my husband, obviously lol. I don't want to be in a sexless marriage and anyone who has been to an abstinence-only high school knows that abstinence is not the way lol. There were a lot of comments assuming I would be perfectly fine withholding sex from my husband and having na dead bedroom, and I wouldn't. I have a sex drive. I'm going to want to bang my husband. Wanting to have sex with your spouse is *normal*.

What you would do about birth control if you divorced and dated in the future?

I’m not thinking of dating anyone else right now, because I’m thinking more about saving my actual marriage instead of an imaginary relationship. And if theoretically I did, I would probably seek out a partner who was snipped or was ready to be to be honestly, or a woman. I’m bisexual so there’s a very good chance that my future partner wouldn’t have the right parts to knock me up anyway lol.

Jack is sabotaging your birth control

I clarified my methods in the original post (as per my last email), but I did want to address this because it came up a LOT. I don’t have reason to believe that Jack sabotaged my birth control. A number of other fertile Myrtles showed up and brought up they or their family members repeated pregnancies in the face of birth control, including tubals. Accusing my husband of reproductive coercion for no reason other than I keep getting pregnant is a big leap and a weighty accusation. I am not the only fertile Myrtle out there, there's a reason there's a whole term for it.

Your husband is a narcissist, abuser, psychopath, and he does no childcare

My husband and I historically have a really healthy and loving relationship outside of this fight. In fact, this fight is the first time we’ve really had a fight, we’ve only ever had little arguments that we’ve been able to talk through. He’s an active father, the reason that I do the majority of childcare is due to circumstance between maternity leaves, our job schedules and the fact that I breastfed my babies. Someone also presumed I’m the breadwinner, which isn’t quite true. Jack makes more than me, but we do not have deeply significant differences in our incomes. When he is home he does his fair share of cleaning and cooking (arguably more than me at times), and parenting. That being said, the things he said in the heat of the moment were deeply concerning, and we’re addressing that together.
So to get down to the nitty gritty of the real update: since the last time I posted, Jack and I have sat down together and had a real come to Jesus talk. I’m not going to go through the whole breakdown, but it basically boiled down to this: it’s the vasectomy, but it’s more than the vasectomy. It was wrong of me to compare him to Tom but it was wronger of him to weaponize my trauma against me in a very malicious way. The way he intentionally used the same language my abuser used in an effort to hurt me was not acceptable and damaged the trust between us. He agreed it was not acceptable and said that in the aftermath he was horrified and ashamed his own words, and that he (as an explanation and not an excuse) kind of snapped under the stress. Oh and what he said about his “next wife” was not an indication of him not being committed to me but was because he felt hurt and wanted to hurt me back. He has apologized numerous times and seems to feel genuinely bad about it.
As for the separation, I am still going forward with it. I need space and time and I need to take that before the babies come. I am still staying with my parents who, for the record, are not sick of me or the kids. We’re a tight knit family, I only moved out when I moved in with Jack, and my sister moved out about a year ago so they have been empty nesting, and my mom doesn’t like that we live “too far” (an hour) away. What I have realized with space and time is how deeply triggering it was, in a way that I cannot explain to those without PTSD from DV, those who know will know. It’s deeply unsettled me and I’m having a hard time “getting over it” so to speak. There is now a lot of fear of my husband that was never there before and it’s going to take a lot to repair that trust and sense of safety. I cannot make a decision while I’m in this space, and I am addressing this with my personal therapist. Overall, I told him that if he wanted to stay married to me I needed two things from him: marriage counseling and a vasectomy, and even then I still cannot guarantee him anything. He understands, but I do not know what will happen with the vasectomy right now, we focused more on talking about the fight, but he is very aware that it's now a dealbreaker. And we have a marriage counseling appointment set up for next week. I'm hoping that counseling will bring some clarity to the situation, and in the mean time for the next couple months I'm focusing on giving my kids lots of cuddles and preparing myself for two new babies to come into my world, with or without Jack.
Additional information from OOP on her relationships

OOP: I've been through a trial to convict my ex-boyfriend of trying to kill me because of an abortion in a deep red, deeply religious area. I've definitely heard worse things, and I typically have pretty thick skin. That being said, I am pregnant and pretty emotional, so it's not the best experience. That being said, I do appreciate the level-headed comments when I see them through the sea of comments kind of saying the same stuff over and over. I'm not reading a lot of them if what I can see in the comment notification starts off nasty, so a lot of it is just inbox white noise. My favorites are the ones that start off with "I'm not going to read that BUT..." and I just think lol same. Like you don't want to read my post but expect me to read your comment that was made without even reading the situation? lol nope. And there are a lot of people conflating "providing someone with a hard choice" with "forcing someone into a medical procedure" and it just makes wading through for the actually helpful comments more tiring. Thank you though, I very much appreciate the kindness. Sorry, I've gotten so much of the same nonsense I guess I needed a little vent lol.

OOP on wanting her husband to make a decision and be on the same page

OOP: I want to be honest with him about where I am emotionally because I want him to make an informed decision. While the vasectomy is a deal breaker, it's really my secondary concern. My primary concern is the way he acted during the fight and his intention exploitation of my trauma because he was mad and scared. I think that telling him "get the snip to stay with me" and then deciding to leave anyway because there are deeper issues and/or I don't feel safe anymore would be cruel. He deserves to have the full picture before he makes a choice, doesn't he?
If he doesn't want the vasectomy, that's his choice. It's not what I want, but it is what it is. If he wants to call it quits at 4 kids, then it is what it is and if he secretly wants to be the next Nick Cannon then it is what it is he should be free to do that. That is part of why I don't know where he is on the vasectomy right now and we didn't really discuss it much when we talked, I'm focusing on discussing the bigger issue for me which is trust and safety within the relationship. The only way for him to make an informed decision about whether or not he get a vasectomy is for him to have all the information about the situation. If that makes him want a vasectomy less, then it is what it is. It's not about making him want to have a vasectomy. It's about being on the same page.

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I am NOT OOP. OOP is u/justathrowaway282641
Originally posted to TwoHotTakes + her own page
Previous BoRU #1, BoRU #2, BoRU #3, BoRU #4, BoRU #5, BoRU 6
Editor’s Note: removed all relevant comments from older posts to make space for new updates. To see all older relevant comments, check out the previous BoRUs above
NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH ----
[New Update]: My family forgot to invite me to my grandparents funeral, but they are convinced I was there.
Trigger Warnings: death of loved ones, emotional manipulation, gaslighting, harassment
RECAP
Original Post: November 14, 2023**
I’m 30s F and caused a major blowup in my family and now none of them are talking to me. For background, my hometown is tiny (500pop) and when I went 2 hrs away to “the city” (15,000pop) for college, I loved it. I ended up staying after graduation, got married, and am happy here for a decade. I visit my home town every few weeks or so, call/text my family near daily, and thought we were all good. My family’s pretty small. Just my brother, mom, step dad, dad, step mom, and an aunt and uncle (mom’s siblings, never married, no kids). My mother's grandparents moved to my home town when I was in high school and were just down the street from us. My family has always been pretty drama free (aside from my parent’s divorce when I was a kid) and we’ve been happy. The step-parents were blended in perfectly and we share holidays and celebrations together. We’re all super close and just the perfect little group.
Ever since I moved away, the topic of “when am I moving back?” is constant, and I’ve always laughed it off. My home town has nothing. You have to drive 30 minutes for milk and bread. 60-90 minute one-way commutes to work. And floods shut down the main road every Easter. I love the town, but I love here more. I have parks, stores, community events, a library! The “city” is great. My family grumbles that I need to move back, but I refuse. I've been trying to encourage them to come here, especially since it's not an hour drive to the nearest medical facility.
Now to the meat and potatoes: both my grandparents passed over COVID times. They were both old and their health had been failing for a while so it was only a matter of time. Thankfully they didn’t catch it, but it made visiting them impossible and we survived mostly through FaceTime. They both passed in their sleep months apart. Both were cremated and kept securely under the kitchen sink for safe keeping while the pandemic blew over. That was 2021.
Well, I just found out my family held a funeral for them and scattered the ashes in my uncle’s maple grove over the summer. No one said a word to me about it. I’ve visited numerous times before and after and not one word. I only found out because my great uncle from California posted on Facebook a few weeks ago that he is entering hospice and was so thankful his health stayed strong enough for him to see his little sister (my grandma) to her final resting place. I was confused and called my mom. She was all “Yeah, the funeral we had in July, remember?” Ya’ll, I visited them for the 4th of July. They did the funeral the 8th. Not a word about it to me. They had planned this for months. Long enough to arrange for my infirm great uncle to be brought over from the other side of the country. Apparently, they talked about it “all the time”.
Everyone is convinced I was at the funeral. They SWEAR I was there. I can prove I wasn’t because Google’s got my location history. My hubby is baffled because he was supposedly there, too, but he had to work every weekend in June and July. Time clock doesn’t lie. My family straight up forgot about me. I’m hurt. I’m sad. And they’re pissed at me “for lying”. They think I’m causing drama over nothing. Nothing I say can convince them I wasn’t there. My family is united in this. And they’ve all put me “on read” until I admit I’m wrong. They think I’ve gone nuts. Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. I’m not backing down.
Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Facebook about “forgetful kids” and mental health. It’s so freaking weird and I don’t know if I’m in bizzaro world or what’s going on. My mom’s best friend reached out and said I should just admit I was wrong and apologize, that I’m causing my mom so much unnecessary stress. I asked her if she’s checked everyone’s home for CO2. She hung up on me. (We checked our CO2, and our testers are running just fine.) I have reached out to a few people in my home town to check in on my folks, and they all say they're fine. I even spoke with the local volunteer fire fighter group to see if they could check for gas leaks. Not sure if they were able to.
I don’t know what to do. I’ve shown them the proof I wasn’t there, but they know I’m tech savvy and just assume I’ve Photoshopped it. Hubby says we need a break, and we’re going to be staying home this holiday season.
Edit: I don't know the update rules, so I'll post updates to my profile should anyone want them.  
Update #1: November 27, 2023
Not sure how to do updates on posts, so figured I'd post anything on my profile. Folks have private messaged me and this will be easier I think?
It's 11/27 and Thanksgiving just happened. Hubby and I stayed home. We got a small turkey and made our own little thanksgiving. It was nice. We ate around noon, then watched a movie, and later sat outside with a bottle of wine to watch the sun set behind the trees and neighbor houses.
We usually take the day before off, drive to my folks, stay the night, and help with the Thanksgiving Day cooking. So it wasn't until Wednesday night that my mom broke the silence. Mom called and asked when I was showing up, and I told her we were staying home this year, but for them to have a happy Thanksgiving, and to give the rest of the family my love. She was quiet for a long time after I said that, and I think she eventually mumbled an "okay", or something, and hung up. It wasn't an angry hang up. Just a hang up. On Thanksgiving day, I sent a group "Happy Thanksgiving!" gif to our family group chat. I received a few "happy Thanksgiving"'s back. No one's said anything else. There's been no posts on Facebook.  
Update #2: December 12, 2023
So, I think I mentioned in one of my comments that my dad and I usually talk on the phone every Sunday morning. We're both early risers so we'd chat over our morning coffees and watch the sunrise. Him and I haven't really spoken since this all went down and it's been tough. I'm used to talking to him, you know?
Well, I was sitting outside in my usual spot, watching the sun rise and freezing my butt off, and he called me. I'm not entirely sure how to describe the emotions I felt. It was a mix of panic, hope, terror, happiness, and dread. I ended up answering because I just had to know what he wanted. It was an awkward conversation. He didn't address the current "drama", but instead tiptoed around the situation with all the grace of an cow on stilts. For instance, a simple "How are you doing?" Type question was answered with a "Not good." And the whole conversation would stall out for a bit because he knew why I wasn't doing well. So we ended up talking about the weather, the various winter birds we'd seen in our feeders, and the Christmas decorations around town. Things like that.
Eventually he asked if we were coming out for Christmas, and sounded sad when I told him we weren't. He asked if him and step mom could come visit us instead, and I told him it wasn't a good idea this year. That hubby and I were going to spend a quiet holiday together. I let him know he should be receiving some gifts at his PO Box any day now, so to please pick them up from the post office and put them under the family tree for everyone. He said he'd ship ours to us as well.
And that was pretty much it. No crazy drama to report. The only posts on Facebook have been the usual Christmas excitement ones, countdowns, photos of Santa, silly gift ideas, photos of company Christmas parties.
On a personal note: Hubby and I are doing alright. Our health is good, our spirits high, and we're as solid as ever. We each got Christmas bonus' at our jobs, so we're excited about that. They're not large, but we're happy to have them. We have also done advent calendars for the first time ever. I got him a Lego one, and he got me a hot chocolate one. We're going to do the calendars again next year. Maybe make a tradition out of it.
Everyone please have a safe and happy holidays.  
Inheritance: December 16, 2023
I've received a lot - A LOT - of messages and private DMs urging me to check into inheritance and such. I'm really touched a lot of Internet strangers are worried about me and I wanted to ensure everyone that inheritance is most likely not an issue here. I'd almost be relieved if it was, because then it would at least make some sense. Money does weird things to people, you know?
No one in my family is wealthy by any means. After my grandparents' passed, their small estate was used to pay for their end of life expenses and remaining assets split up. Everyone directly related got an equal split (so excluded my dad and the step parents). I don't remember the exact amount I received, but it was around $5k if I recall. My brother gave me his share, too, so I could finish paying off my college debt while the interest freeze was active.
The great uncle from California has kids and grand kids, and great grandkids of his own, and also isn't wealthy. I think one of his kids makes good money doing something in finance, but I'm not entirely sure. I can't imagine he left us anything, as we hardly knew him. My mom, aunt, and uncle only met him a few times in their lives, and my brother and I even less. Grandma and him were close, but I don't think he liked my grandpa much.  
Christmas: December 25, 2023
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I've received a lot of support through my posts and I'm really grateful. Writing these updates have had a therapeutic effect.
Yesterday was Sunday, but I didn't answer my dad when he called. I just really didn't feel up to a pointless chat, so let it go to voicemail. He tried to reach me a few times throughout the day, but I didn't answer.
Our bestie last minute invited us over to his house for Christmas day lunch (today), so husband and I were busy all Christmas Eve making cookies, peanut brittle, and homemade suckers/hard candies for his kids. Mom tried to reach out as well, but I also ignored her calls.
We had a BLAST at lunch! Our friend's kids are a lot of fun to be around. They got some techy presents from their grandparents (Quest vr headset and steam decks, lucky little rascals) Friend and his wife aren't good with tech, while hubby and I are, so we helped get them set up while our friend played a good host to his folks and inlaws. The grandparents didn't realize that a Steam deck required a Steam account, so we got the kids all their own accounts set up, added them to our steam friends lists, and gifted them some games. We also bought them a few VR games for their headset, and they were off to the races with Beat Saber in no time.
As for my folks: My brother texted and asked if we could talk sometime tomorrow. I think me ignoring mom and dad has caused some kind of upset. Which they deserve.  
Brother’s call: December 26, 2023
Spoke with my brother over the phone this morning.
For starters, he apologized for everything. Him and I are good (for now). For a bit of background, my brother and I are only 2 years apart. There weren't a lot of kids around growing up, so the two of us were often stuck doing stuff together. So we have a lot of shared interests and passions. He's been pretty silent on this whole matter, but still "part of the group", if you know what I mean. I think the thought of losing him out of my life was probably the most painful, because he's always been there. He was my rock until I met my husband. He's definitely a Mama's boy, though, so anything mom wanted, he made sure she got. I'm happy to have him back.
Without further ado, here's the story from the horse's mouth:
Mom apparently had a cancer scare late last year (which no one told me about, go figure), and dad had a stint put in his heart back in January (which I did know about). This "sense of mortality" has apparently lit a fire under Mom's ass to get me back home. But since I wasn't reacting to her passive aggressive hinting, she and step mom decided to go full crazy. My great uncle's health was bad, and he'd been asking about funeral arrangements for his sister (my grandma) for a while, so the moms decided to plan it. And use the event as a giant middle finger to me. They kept all the planning pretty hush-hush between the two of them, so no one on our side of the family actually knew about the funeral until like 2 weeks before. The moms said they'd invited hubby and I. No one thought anything about it. No one thought to mention, confirm, or check with me.
The plan was to scatter the ashes, say a few words, and maybe head to town for lunch. It was a small affair. The mom's didn't even tell the family that our great uncle was coming for it. Like I said, it was a small thing. Barely a footnote. No one thought it was odd because we're pretty chill people.
4th of July happens. Hubby and I are out. No one thought to mention it, as we were all busy celebrating and having a great time. Any time the topic of "this weekend" would start, the conversation would be quickly shifted by one of the moms. We went back home.
8th of July happens. Great uncle rolls into town with a few of his kids, grandkids, and great grandkids, and it's a surprise to everyone (but the moms). Everyone drives to the maple grove and the moms have brought a ton of food and stuff. It's a full blown party. No one on my side noticed I wasn't there, because there were so many extra faces outside the usual group. They did the spreading of the ashes, they said their words, they ate, they had a great time. It wasn't until our great uncle left, and all his side left with him, that they realized I wasn't there. And hadn't been there.
And this is where the crazy went up a notch. My brother says the moms were happy no one noticed I wasn't there. And that this was proof to everyone that I needed to move back because I was so easily forgotten about. Because none of them thought to reach out, right? They basically did a ton of guilt tripping manipulation bullshit and it made everyone upset at me for not showing up. Somehow it was my fault for being excluded. So suddenly everyone was on their side with "sticking it to me".
But then a few months went by, and tempers cooled, and then I guess the horror of it set in. Followed by the shame, but by then they were "in too deep". How do you undo something like this? And since I hadn't brought it up, I guess they figured they would all just stay quiet about it and hope I never asked about a funeral.
That's when I discovered the situation from my great uncle's Facebook and called my mom, who panicked and went with the stupidest solution. Claiming I was there. Don't I remember?
I ended up talking with a few friends from high school, mentioning the situation, and word got back to those in town. So suddenly town gossip and little old church ladies got involved. Was I, or wasn't I at the funeral? Did my family forget to invite me to the funeral of the only grandparents I'd ever know? Or am I just causing a ruckus? My brother said they all just went with mom's answer. Of course they wouldn't forget me. Of course I was there. Of course they're good people. And it just snowballed.
The family expected me to eventually fold. I'm usually a nonconfrontational person, so me sticking to my guns was unexpected. And then I missed Thanksgiving. And now Christmas. With no sign of backing down. And I guess the realization that I could just stop being part of their lives is setting in and my parents are panicking. He's tried just getting them to apologize and explain, but stubbornness prevails. They want to rug sweep, but I'm not letting them.
My brother is upset with everything that's happened. He's realized just how crappy it all has been and he wants nothing to do with it anymore. But since he lives with my mom, he can't "get away from it".
He has asked if he can come stay with us for a little bit. I spoke with hubby, and he's in agreement with me that my brother can come crash in our spare bedroom for as long as he wants. Brother works remotely, so it's no trouble for him to pick up and go. I believe he's making the trip today or tomorrow. Not entirely sure, but I expect crap to hit the fan when he arrives.
On a side note, hubby's stoked that my brother and I made up. The two usually game together, but haven't due to "the situation". He's downstairs right now setting up his man cave in preparation for my brother's arrival. I'm happy to see him so excited.  
Brother's Here: December 27, 2023
My brother rolled in late last night. He'd obviously been crying and when I opened the door, he just held me and sobbed. I'd never seen him like that before and soon both of us were just standing in the doorway crying into one another. He kept apologizing. Over and over again. Said he wasn't sure why he went with it. Just kept saying sorry. Hubby got him all set up in the spare bedroom while brother and I talked. My brother's a wreck. He's always been a big guy, but he's lost a lot of weight and his clothes just hang off him. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was on drugs. We talked for a little bit before bed and he re-explained everything for my husband. I'd told hubby the story, but it was just so weird that hearing it again helped.
This morning my brother was up at dawn making some coffee and getting his work day going. Hubby's off all week (lucky) so hubby made us working folk some pancakes and bacon. So far everything's peaceful. We've decided not to answer any calls from our family. They've been made aware that he arrived safely, and that we are going to spend the New Years together, and that we're not answering any calls until January 1st. They may text if they wish. I'm sure they're losing their minds. Serves them right.
Everyone, have a safe and happy new years! Don't drink and drive!  
Happy 2024!: January 2, 2024
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable holidays, and may the new year be full of joy and happiness!
Not too much of an update. Things here have been quiet. My brother's settled in nicely and he's a great housemate. Our place isn't very big, but we have full basement and a nice outside patio/porch area so it doesn't feel crowded at all with the extra addition. He's a quiet and clean guy. No hassle at all. He got some fresh clothes from the Walmart, a haircut, and trimmed his beard, so he's more "presentable" now. He's a lady killer when he gets cleaned up. He's made nice with the (very nosy, but kind) retired couple next door and is adapting to "city living" nicely.
Folks back home have been mostly well behaved. There's been a few texts back and forth, as we're not answering calls. Mom mainly wants to know when brother's coming back, but he's keen on staying here for a while. Mom said I can't "keep him" and I told her he's a grown ass man and can do what he wants. Brother says he has her blocked after she ORDERED him to return home.
Brother has tentatively asked if he could stay long term, should he decide to, or at least longer than a usual visitor would stay. Which we're fine with. He has a good paying job and could afford an apartment, but he's never lived on his own and I would guess he has some anxiety about it. Should that be the case, he'll start paying us some rent and we'd probably adjust to give him the basement as his own space.  
Had to change the locks: January 17, 2024
My brother is officially staying with us for the long haul. Hubby and him spent all Sunday organizing the basement and shifting things around so he now has his own area to be comfortable in. He's pretty handy and has also started fixing little things around our house. Our windows and doors have never closed and locked/unlocked smoother. He even fixed one of the closets we never use because we can never get the darn door open. Sadly, he also had to change the locks on our house and get us all new keys.
This is because while hubby and I were out this Saturday, the moms showed up. They'd been calling and texting us all week, but we weren't really answering them, so I guess the two decided to drive over and hash it out in person. They have emergency keys to my place, and just let themselves in. Brother told them to leave, they argued, and my nosy (but kind) neighbors called the police when they noticed the commotion. So, we get a call from neighbor's wife, return home to some cops in our yard, all the neighbors out "vacuuming their trees", and my nosy (but kind) neighbors standing on my porch with my brother behind them, doing their best Gandalf "You shall not pass" impression.
Had to talk with the cops, explain that we were having a family dispute and word vomited. I don't really remember what all I said, and was shaking a lot. Our local cops are really great. Fantastic guys and gals in blue, and took it all in stride. It's really cold here, so one had me join him in his cruiser with the heat on, and gave me a bottle of water to calm down while we talked. They asked if we wanted the moms trespassed but I wasn't sure if that counted as a criminal charge so just asked the cops if they could just make them leave, which the cops did with no fuss. I think the moms were shocked we were taking this so seriously. They didn't fight or scream at us. Just left quietly.
My dad promised me he'd make sure his wife left us alone. "Or else". He said he'd also have a stern talk with my mom. Him and I talked Sunday morning, and he seemed absolutely at the end of his rope. Husband jokingly told my dad he could move in, too. To which he declined.
Not sure where to go from here, but we're getting some ring cameras installed once they arrive. And everyone but my dad is blocked. Hopefully they all just leave us alone.  
Nothing New To Report: February 2, 2024
Had a lot of DMs for updates, but don't have much anything to report on. The moms are behaving themselves. All's quiet on the western front. Felt weird ignoring or copy/pasting "no updates" to everyone, so here's what we've been doing, should anyone care.
Dad got a new bird/squirrel feeder from Amazon (looks like a little picnic table for a child's dolly but has a mesh top for the bird seed. I think it's supposed to be for chickens?) It's totes adorbs. To his horror, it also works as a Cooper hawk feeder, so now he's "fortifying his defenses" and putting up some trellises around it. He'll have to wait till warmer weather before planting anything to grow on them.
We had some ring cameras installed and put in a motion-activated camera that double functions as a light bulb. It goes in the light fixture outside the front door and is pretty cool. Video quality isn't all that great, but it's a nice addition I guess. It does overlook the bird feeders, so I've been watching it on my lunch breaks on the days I have to go into the office.
Hubby and brother are feuding. They started a coop farm in Stardew Valley a few days ago and they both want to romance Leah. My husband confided in me that he's also been romancing Sebastian as a backup. I'm not sure why he's keeping this a secret, but he's pretty smug about it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
fractal_frog I hope your dad can outsmart the hawks!

OOP: He'll be able to, I just know it. He's used to dealing with the wildlife and having hawks about, but he just wasn't expecting one to snag a meal right from his new feeder.
I told him it was "technically" still a bird feeder. Just....for bigger birds. Which he thought was funny. He said he might make a little "no hawks allowed" sign to put up next to it.

MissOP: keep the updates coming. the moms are so close to folding it's just a little bit more. LMAO also, the bro mance between your husband and brother is so cute. lol Honestly, I think your husband making sure he has a side piece of Sebastian is absolutely the play.

OOP: So far still no word from the moms, but I hope you're right. I would love an apology and for us to begin moving past this. But I NEED that apology. I feel selfish saying that, but I refuse to "be the bigger person" on this. I just won't.
As for my brother and husband, yeah, they're basically soul mates. The two hit it off immediately when they first met, and they've been thick as thieves for years.  

Update: February 27, 2024
My dad came out for a visit over the weekend. We had a good time and the weather was lovely for some grilling and beers. It was really nice to see him again and he seemed healthy and in good spirits.
Here's his report from back home: Step mom (dad's wife) has started to realize she's screwed up. I credit her change of mindset to the fact that my dad sat her down and laid it out for her: she leaves his kids alone, or she's getting divorce papers. That apparently shut her up right quick, because they had a prenup done when they married and I'm not sure the details of it, but it wouldn't end favorably for her. She hasn't worked in years, so I imagine she'd be eligible for alimony? But I'm not versed in any of that legal mumbojumbo. Dad didn't seem too worried about it, so I'm not gonna worry about it.
Step dad was pissed the police were involved in the last "mom visit" (despite no one getting arrested or anything) and was in a "the kids are out of control and need to be reigned back in" mindset. When my dad pointed out that "the kids" in question were all in their mid-30s, it took some of the steam out of stepdad's sails. According to my dad, even my mom looked a little surprised when he said that. So, part of me is wondering if a good chunk of this whole thing is my mom not truly realizing that her kids were grown, and no longer children she could make demands of. Both of the moms have left us alone. I expected my mom to continue to kick up a fuss, but I think the cops spooked her.
There was a wonderful suggestion by a comment or to get their pastor involved, which I passed along to my dad. Dad has since spoken to their pastor about everything. He's a young guy, relatively new to their church, and joked that his first month on the job he had to do 3 funerals in a row and his new "flock" were just dying to get away from him, so he's got a sense of humor which is nice. The new pastor agreed to sit down with everyone and help the family hash it all out in a true "Come to Jesus" type moment next month, so that maybe we could celebrate Easter together as our first holiday as a family. Dad said the pastor was aware our family was having some troubles, but unsure of exactly what was going on, and since he was new, the pastor didn't want to pry. He has also agreed to do a small service down at my uncle's maple grove later in the summer, as it usually floods and is a muddy mess all spring. According to my dad, my aunt and uncle are so over all the drama and just ready to move on, so I expect hugs and apologies from them when we next meet.
Stardew Valley Update: My brother was victorious in the grand fight for Leah. It was a hard battle. Well fought. When my husband exposed his plans to woo Sebastian all this time, it was quite the betrayal. Dramatics aside, their farm is really cute and I'm so happy they're enjoying the game!  
Update 4/1 - Final one I think - April 1, 2024
Happy April Fools everyone! I hope you all check your caramel apples for stray onions before taking a bite! I also hope your Easter weekend was a delightful one.
It is with great joy that I tell you all about our most recent update! Possibly even a conclusion to this whole ordeal.
The entire family (aunt, uncle, moms, dads, brother, me, husband) and pastor met at my dad's house and we all sat down to hash the situation out. As expected from what my dad said, my aunt and uncle greeted us all with apologies and hugs, which was nice. My uncle usually helps host the Easter egg hunts with the church and he brought our Easter baskets to give to us in case us kids weren't sticking around the for the weekend. I'm not sure why but seeing it made me tear up and feel stupid, because it was just a basket of candy but it meant a lot to me for some reason.
The pastor led us in a prayer and talked about forgiveness and such. He then asked us all to talk one at a time about how we're feeling and what we want the end result of today to be. No one was allowed to interrupt so everyone got to talk. It was nice. The consensus for the group was that most everyone wanted things to go back to "normal". The only ones who had any variance off this was my mom and step dad. They both wanted all us kids to move back to the area.
The pastor asked them why they wanted us back, and neither could give a good reason other than "because family", and the pastor asked us if we were thriving where we were. And we said we were. He asked if we were happy there. Which we were. He then asked my mom and step dad if they wanted us to give up our happiness to make them happy.
And Mom broke down and said no. We all had a good cry. The pastor then asked about the funeral and lies that led up to it and followed it and how it made us all feel and what we wished we'd done differently if we had the chance. It was all very emotional, but in a good way, you know? Everyone apologized and admitted they f-ed up and did a really crappy thing.
We all talked for a long, long time and the pastor was a great mediator. Eventually we all reached some sort of resolution and I think we're good now. Emotions are still high and a little raw in areas, but we stayed for Easter weekend and had a nice time. We're going to keep moving forward slowly and try to repair the relationship, but I believe we're well and truly out of the woods.
As for my brother, he's still staying with us, and mom will stop trying to guilt trip him back home. He's thinking about renting a small apartment in our area but we're not pushing him to make a decision. He knows he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. I think he wants to try dating (he's had a few girlfriends but never anything serious) and is embarrassed to bring any girls around our place, lol. He's been going to a few random classes/bookclubs at the local library for something free to do and hitting it off with all the little old ladies who attend, and they keep trying to hook him up with girls his age who they know. He has been on a few lunches/coffee dates with a couple girls, but I think he's too embarrassed by the attention to give it a real try at "dating" any of them. He's happy, though, which is all I could ask for.
I'm not sure if there will be any more updates, as I think it's all be resolved about as much as it can be at the moment. I wanted to thank you all for your words of advice and giving me a place to vent and scream into the void. Please be kind to one another and to yourselves. Thank you.
Relevant Comments
emjkr: What a nice and hopeful update, I’m really glad you stuck to your guns when everyone threw sanity out the window!
But, could your mother explain how she thought this would work out in her favour?

OOP: I don't think mom thought too far ahead. I believe she assumed it would all just magically work out the way she wanted it to. She said she wasn't sure what she was expecting to happen (which I think was a lie, but I wasn't going to push it).

mak_zaddy: This was a great update! But ummmmmm no stardew valley update? What gives? Has Sebastian been woo’ed? How’s Leah? What’s happening?

OOP: Sebastian has indeed been wooed (and whoohooed) There's kids and cows and chickens. The two are still having a wonderful time at the game. They're working on completing the community center but it's slow going as they aren't trying to speedrun and just doing things as they want. I believe they're thinking about going into the desert mines once they complete that bundle, but they're both super chicken shit about it!

-my-cabbages: I don't really understand what you had to apologize for ... but I'm glad you're happy and the situation seems to be settling down

OOP: There wasn't much of an apology on my end, as everyone agreed I had done nothing wrong. Mine was more of a "I'm sorry you didn't feel as though I would listen." Type apology, which I don't really believe is a proper apology because apologies like that push the blame back on another. I mostly expressed my feelings and the shock of it all, and how betrayed I felt.  

----NEW UPDATE----

Small, happy update: May 7, 2024 (1 month later)
Things as wonderful as the moment. Still doing baby steps with The Moms. We're texting and talking on the phones more, which is nice. Very civil.
Dad "accidentally" bought a bunch of hand crafted bird feeders at a craft fair. By accidentally, I mean: he had a little too much fun in the beer tent, went for a stroll while step mom wasn't looking, and stumbled upon a guy's booth and bought "one of each". He wouldn't tell me how MANY "one of each" was, but he cackled like a witch when I asked. Step mom said she's forcing him to give a few to me, so I'm expecting a delivery or a Dad-visit any day now.
My brother is officially "going steady" with a girl. We've met her a few times and she seems like a real sweetheart. She's our age and has a little boy (5-6 years old, I haven't asked) from a previous relationship (The dad's not in the picture from what I can gather). She's the granddaughter of one of his Book Club members, so the old ladies made good match makers in the end. The relationship is still very new and I'm routing for them.
No new Stardew Valley updates. Work has been a little crazy lately and I haven't been able to play much of anything, and brother has been distracted by his new lady friend. So, husband finally started Baldur's Gate 3, and fell for Gale's "magic trick" so now those two are a thing. I expect him to be sufficiently distracted from reality for the next few weeks.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I didn't want to post here but I didn't really have a choice so i am just gonna cut to the chase. My older sister is dating my nephew. It sounds weird but please read. They both are under 18 so I wont use real names. First, I will start with explanations about my family. My other older sister I will call her Hope) who is 30 at the time of this post is married to my brother-in law. My brother in-law's brother and his wife was caught doing "Illegal things" (Sorry Its still an ongoing case atm). So brother in-law's other brother and his wife decided to take their kids in but they were still living with Hope and my brother in-law and one of those kids were my nephew who I will name Lee was one of those kids.
(By the way, when me, Pou, and my other older sister who is a year older than me were in foster care. When we were, my brother in-law and Hope took us in and this was when I was five or six. Hope, my other sis whom I'll call Alin and me walked in on Lee and Pou cuddling. That was when Pou was eight or seven and Lee was 9 or 10. )
My sister whom I will call Pou started acting strange when we were folding boats for their grandpa whom recently passed away. Folding boats for our loved ones is part of our tradition. Pou and Lee were acting strange because they were glancing at each other as if they were elementary children.
That's when my suspicions started. Not to be creepy or anything but every movement they made and every small action I was watching as I did with everyone else. To be honest watching and reading people's face wrinkles and actions became a habit when I was 11 and right now I'm 14 so three years of experience was screaming "Somethings happening" So I will list things that stood out and rose my suspicions.
1.Lee's Actions: Lee is a quiet guy just like my brother in-law and they both are talkative to people they know. So during spring break we went to spend time at Hope's house to help with the kids and to hang out. Suddenly Lee came into our room and decided to hang out with us. Usually when we are over Lee stays in the basement. Even Hope said that. I didn't think much of it and thought he had a change of heart.
2.Pou's Voice: Pou is a confident talkative girl and her voice is like Jim Carrey, Drake, and Jennie if they were in one voice box. So that same day where Lee cam into the room to hangout, Pou was acting strange and I noticed Lee being distant from me and Hope. So when Pou would start talking its like she was summoning the snow white out of her soul. So of course that made me realize, "Yea, something is goin on here"
3.Pou's Actions: Usually when it comes to Hope's house Pou wouldn't really be that enthusiastic when going. So when we were about to come back home from Hope's house Pou said."To be honest, I kind don't wanna go home." We had to anyways because we had school the next day. She also would use the bathroom in the basement where Lee sleeps. (The basement is not messy its actually a bar, gym, and bedroom.) Usually Pou would be reluctant to use the bathroom in the basement because that bathroom was cramped and the door couldn't close properly. So when she did I was already convinced she was seeing him.
Lee wanted to wrestle me and Pou or so I thought. My other nephew whom I'll name Leo loves to wrestle me and Pou because I'm a workout freak and Pou for her natural strength. So when Lee wanted to wrestle I was tryna warm up but Lee and Pou were already goin at it. They were gentle and giggling. Its like they were teasing each other.
Next is Confirming My Suspicions
During her visit to the basement she was taking too long so I decided, "Lets see if I'm right." So I tried sneaking down in the basement but my dam flip flops were slapping my feet and the stairs would creak so they hear me coming down. When I opened the door Lee was pretending to be asleep and Pou coincidentally "finished" using the bathroom. A few things stood out

1. Pou was out of breath
2. She was smiling and looking to my left.
3. I looked at her direction, she didnt look like she came around the corner where the bathroom was at. it looked like she just turned around from going to the direction of the bathroom.

I asked her, "Why do you talk in that voice whenever Lee is near?" and she got defensive on me telling me not to get the wrong idea.
Yesterday, we were watching a horror movie named Exhuma and babysitting. Me, Hope, Pou, and Alin were there and we were gonna use the bathroom one by one since we are watching our 1 year old niece. Pou wanted to use the bathroom in the basement since one of our nephews was taking too long. Once he was done, Me, Hope, and Alin had already used the bathroom. We waited and waited on our phones. I was honestly in a good mood since I had predicted the movie's outcome but Pou was killing the suspense of the movie so I told Hope and Alin that I was going to check on her. This time instead of trying to sneak, I decided to run down as it was a habit and when I burst opened the door, Boom, them rushing to get away from each other. Lee was laying on his stomach and face on the pillow, Pou standing up in shock, eyes wide, one hand on her waist and the other covering her mouth. The only thing I thought was, "So I was right." I told her that I had a suspicion and tried to confirm it earlier. Honestly the only real emotion I could get out was a laugh. I didnt really feel anything about it but how funny it was.
How They Feel
Pou told me that she feels that she's truly in love with him and so is he. She told me things how they started falling for each other and by the information it sounds like Lee was the one in love first. It was a romantic story but she told me it was forbidden love. To me it seems more like Illegal love. For the record we come form a strict Asian house hold and culture. In our culture reputation is money, power, status, life. She told me that she loved him because he wasn't a brain-rotted 17 year old guy. Yes Pou is 16 and Lee is 17. Lee was healthy. He worked out just like me and was somewhat productive. She said that Lee was the only one who like her cranky and funny personality. He embraced her body like it was a statue. He didn't just like her, he loved her, and they loved each other. She said that she loved his voice, his protection, and his way of affection. She loved listening to him like he was a melody on the beach. It was addicting and calming to her in my opinion. She cried. She didn't trust me. I understood why.
Just a little information. I was mature for my age. I knew many things, and had many secrets and secrets of others. I used these secrets to get information of other people or use it to my advantage. In public I used an Innocent face, voice and personality. With family, neutral and tried to make others smile. Alone is when I express myself. I use information from others around me to blackmail or just to see their expressions because it was entertaining. I hurt people who hurt me and one of those were Pou.
So I understood why she didn't trust me. If I met me, I wouldn't trust me either. In all the conversations and stories, I felt like I related. I was also wondering what I would do if I lost someone close to me and I did, we all did. She told me that he was the reason she could live, losing him would mean losing herself. She told me to keep it to myself till the day I die. She couldn't trust me to the point she started eating less.
I'm not begging for her trust if anything I didn't want to get involved but curiosity drives me nuts.
I don't know if this is even legal. My strict parents would kick her out and my elders would give her a nickname to gossip about. I'm just a kid relying on internet people I truly don't know. I know its stupid but I cant anyone. My parents would disown her, I would get yelled at and my sis Hope would get shamed on by my brother in-law's elders. I'm supposed be the mediator in these situations but ever outcome I can think of leads to nowhere that everyone is good.
Hope is a good person and she is my main concern. Me and Leo are close and his nephews and nieces love me and I love them too. If I ruin their relationship, it would affect Leo, Hope, Lee, my nieces and nephews and my brother in-law. She's my sister who has never hurt me.
Adults or anyone experienced in things like this could help me, I truly don't know what to do, advice would be nice.

I wish I could include a voice note just so that you guys can hear this. It’s literally 10:41 PM at night. I’m in extreme pain from my period cramps it feels like someone is stabbing my stomach and my mom is downstairs in her room, just yelling, and saying the most disgusting abusive shit to me!! calling me an animal and I’m going nowhere in my life but when I made over $300,000 I gave it all to her and now I’m fucking broke.. she’s the reason that I dropped out of high school, the reason I have PTSD because she used to fucking stand on my head and shit! Literally fucking sliced me! shaved my head bald and put fucking habanero peppers in my fucking vagina!!!!! I even had to jump over three-story building once because her ex-husband was chasing me with a fucking machete!!
It’s just crazy to me because she looks for absolutely any chance she gets just to turn it into an issue and escalate it just so the spotlight or whatever she thinks can be on her like bro it’s 10:44 PM. This is ridiculous!!!! Honestly this happens a lot, so I feel like it should be normal for me, but I’m just in too much pain to be listening to her bullshit right now.. what’s wild is this is all because of fucking Apple juice FUCKING APPLE JUICE BOXES!!
So I had to go to the grocery store for my baby brothers school movie day and I bought him a bunch of snacks. There was a whole drama in the car but to be honest I’m too tired to say the whole story, but in the car, she was literally yelling and saying how she’s gonna crash the whole entire car and was literally screaming at me and the kids in the car… And then I think she said the list in her head and thought she said it to me and literally no one in the entire car heard her say a word and she thought she said it out loud so I told her she didn’t and she said she’s gonna crash the car and kill us…
In my head, I was laughing which is scary because like that’s not funny but it’s just happened so many times that at this point I’m like OK just crash the car because all you do is talk shit… (obviously I said it in my head because I feel like if I said it out loud that’s when she would actually crash the car and I’m too young to die. I’m only 20) Anyways, it’s just really crazy to me though that she’s still yelling about that incident right now and it’s like three days after…
I feel like I’m rambling at this point but I’m just really tired and I can’t go to sleep because there’s so much noise. I’m just a bit happy that I am over 18 and she can’t actually hit me because even though I’m respectful and I really do not like to fight my mother like I’ve never actually fought her but I swear if she comes upstairs and gets in my way, I’m throwing the fucking hands and leaving!!
The only reason I can’t even leave this fucking house, is because she took all the money I have, and still has the audacity to talk shit to me! I can’t even leave because I don’t have my American citizenship or green card I’m on a renewable visa which is under her.. but now that I’ve seen her true colors I’m really about to work so fucking hard and get my money up and honestly just try to pay for citizenship or pay someone to marry me or something because I can’t keep living like this.. like I’ll probably hire an accountant and a really good lawyer to help me cause I’m in bondage rn! This is so fucking toxic
This is really long I just want to say I’m sorry in advance. I’m just so fucking pissed right now and in so much pain. Plus I have lost so much growing up because of her I was thinking about like all the bullshit I’ve gone through as a child growing up. Like there’s one of my uncles who she literally cut his hand. Obviously there’s a bone there, so it couldn’t all fall off, but it was literally dangling in front of me and then I got intensely beat up just because she thought I slept with him. LIKE I WAS FUCKING 10 IDK WTF THAT IS!! The insane part is I kept getting beat up until I was bleeding and they wouldn’t stop till I admitted to doing it smh I really been through some shit and it’s just now sinking into my head like that’s not normal cause I just overlooked it and went numb over the years and said it’s in the past so it is what it is but no it’s not what the fuck it is!!!
I’ve brought this up to her in the past but she just acts like it never happened or wasn’t important or I’m just over talking and she never treated me like that like what??? I literally have marks and witnesses like his hand is still stitched how tf are you gonna gaslight me??? what’s wild is because they made me admit to doing that that every time an uncle came to visit, it would happen again, and again, and again, I literally had to beg my uncles to stop visiting because they would just beat me even for staring or talking about Mickey Mouse (yes precisely I was beat for that)
I’m gonna just stop this here because I could go on for days and I’m just in too much pain both physically emotionally and mentally…. everyone just thinks I’m cool and chilling, but like I really live in a toxic ass home and I lived through hell at such a young age and still getting insulted daily and treated like shit!!

I wish I could include a voice note just so that you guys can hear this. It’s literally 10:41 PM at night. I’m in extreme pain from my period cramps it feels like someone is stabbing my stomach and my mom is downstairs in her room, just yelling, and saying the most disgusting abusive shit to me!! calling me an animal and I’m going nowhere in my life but when I made over $300,000 I gave it all to her and now I’m fucking broke.. she’s the reason that I dropped out of high school, the reason I have PTSD because she used to fucking stand on my head and shit! Literally fucking sliced me! shaved my head bald and put fucking habanero peppers in my fucking vagina!!!!! I even had to jump over three-story building once because her ex-husband was chasing me with a fucking machete!!
It’s just crazy to me because she looks for absolutely any chance she gets just to turn it into an issue and escalate it just so the spotlight or whatever she thinks can be on her like bro it’s 10:44 PM. This is ridiculous!!!! Honestly this happens a lot, so I feel like it should be normal for me, but I’m just in too much pain to be listening to her bullshit right now.. what’s wild is this is all because of fucking Apple juice FUCKING APPLE JUICE BOXES!!
So I had to go to the grocery store for my baby brothers school movie day and I bought him a bunch of snacks. There was a whole drama in the car but to be honest I’m too tired to say the whole story, but in the car, she was literally yelling and saying how she’s gonna crash the whole entire car and was literally screaming at me and the kids in the car… And then I think she said the list in her head and thought she said it to me and literally no one in the entire car heard her say a word and she thought she said it out loud so I told her she didn’t and she said she’s gonna crash the car and kill us…
In my head, I was laughing which is scary because like that’s not funny but it’s just happened so many times that at this point I’m like OK just crash the car because all you do is talk shit… (obviously I said it in my head because I feel like if I said it out loud that’s when she would actually crash the car and I’m too young to die. I’m only 20) Anyways, it’s just really crazy to me though that she’s still yelling about that incident right now and it’s like three days after…
I feel like I’m rambling at this point but I’m just really tired and I can’t go to sleep because there’s so much noise. I’m just a bit happy that I am over 18 and she can’t actually hit me because even though I’m respectful and I really do not like to fight my mother like I’ve never actually fought her but I swear if she comes upstairs and gets in my way, I’m throwing the fucking hands and leaving!!
The only reason I can’t even leave this fucking house, is because she took all the money I have, and still has the audacity to talk shit to me! I can’t even leave because I don’t have my American citizenship or green card I’m on a renewable visa which is under her.. but now that I’ve seen her true colors I’m really about to work so fucking hard and get my money up and honestly just try to pay for citizenship or pay someone to marry me or something because I can’t keep living like this.. like I’ll probably hire an accountant and a really good lawyer to help me cause I’m in bondage rn! This is so fucking toxic
This is really long I just want to say I’m sorry in advance. I’m just so fucking pissed right now and in so much pain. Plus I have lost so much growing up because of her I was thinking about like all the bullshit I’ve gone through as a child growing up. Like there’s one of my uncles who she literally cut his hand. Obviously there’s a bone there, so it couldn’t all fall off, but it was literally dangling in front of me and then I got intensely beat up just because she thought I slept with him. LIKE I WAS FUCKING 10 IDK WTF THAT IS!! The insane part is I kept getting beat up until I was bleeding and they wouldn’t stop till I admitted to doing it smh I really been through some shit and it’s just now sinking into my head like that’s not normal cause I just overlooked it and went numb over the years and said it’s in the past so it is what it is but no it’s not what the fuck it is!!!
I’ve brought this up to her in the past but she just acts like it never happened or wasn’t important or I’m just over talking and she never treated me like that like what??? I literally have marks and witnesses like his hand is still stitched how tf are you gonna gaslight me??? what’s wild is because they made me admit to doing that that every time an uncle came to visit, it would happen again, and again, and again, I literally had to beg my uncles to stop visiting because they would just beat me even for staring or talking about Mickey Mouse (yes precisely I was beat for that)
I’m gonna just stop this here because I could go on for days and I’m just in too much pain both physically emotionally and mentally…. everyone just thinks I’m cool and chilling, but like I really live in a toxic ass home and I lived through hell at such a young age and still getting insulted daily and treated like shit!!

I have come across multiple opinions from both Blacks and Greens over the true reason why Aegon and Viserys never attempted to remove the Usurper from the line of kings, especially when in the appendix Aegon III’s claim is him as a “Son of Rhaenyra” and it even says Aegon II’s ascent was “disputed by his half-sister Rhaenyra…” and his claim supposedly comes from being the “Son of Viserys I”.
The most logical answer to this question is that GRRM wrote the Appendix of Kings at the back of the first published GoT books because it was an easy bit of world building, and as he fleshed out the Dance years later it was too much of a hassle to retcon/rewrite the line of kings. This can be seen in the way he changed Rhaenyra from being one year the elder and presumably a full blooded sibling to Aegon, to ten years his elder and a half-sibling. A small change that impacts a barely fleshed out story, compared to large one in changing the line of kings. Could he have never wanted Rhaenyra on the throne in the first place? Possibly, but we won’t know.
In-universe, I believe there is a nuanced and rather historically adjacent reason for this. Perhaps not the one GRRM thought up when he wrote F&B (and F&B2 if we ever get there…), but the one I believe to be plausible. Some Greens like to say Aegon III and Viserys II agreed with the rights of male-only succession, as seen with Viserys taking the throne over Daena the Defiant (which by Andal right, should have been hers…)
So, I present the relationship of Queen Elizabeth I of England and her mother, Anne Boleyn on the argument of Rhaenyra’s recognized title as Queen:
Tracey Borman notes that “the many references that Elizabeth made to her ‘dearest father,’ and the way in which she tried to emulate his style of monarchy when she became queen, all support this view. By contrast, Elizabeth is commonly said to have referred directly to Anne only twice throughout her long life. She made no attempt to overturn the annulment of her mother’s marriage or to have her reburied in more fitting surrounds than the Tower of London chapel, knowing that this would court controversy—literally, digging up a past that was best forgotten. Neither did she challenge her mother’s conviction. The obvious conclusion is that Elizabeth was at best indifferent towards, and at worst ashamed of Anne.”
The italicized sentences stuck out to me because that’s essentially what Aeg and Vis did. Seemingly. they made no attempt to put Rhaenyra back into the line of succession and recognize her as queen. Did they agree with Aegon II’s and his council’s belief that women could not ascend to the throne? Is that why? Her bones were interred into the Royal Sept, so that is a departure from the source which states Queen Elizabeth did no such thing, but there is no evidence of her bones being put there by Aeg and Vis during their reigns so we can’t know for certain. But as Tracy Borman notes for Elizabeth, it can be concluded that it is mostly likely because of the controversy surrounding the Dance and Rhaenyra that Aeg and Vis didn’t put her in as Queen.
Decades later, when another succession crisis came in the form of Viserys II and Daena the Defiant, the memories of the Dance were still fresh on everyone’s minds. It was only centuries later that another female Targaryen would even be made heir: Aelora. So it can be assumed that Aegon and Viserys never placed Rhaenyra back into the line of succession because of controversy. Yes, Aegon could have done it once his regency ended, and yes Viserys could have done it as well, but as exampled it is a lot more nuanced than simply having them take away Aegon II and Helaena’s usurping titles.
Now onto the argument of Aegon III and Viserys II somehow hating their mother to the point of agreeing with male-only succession:
While Queen Elizabeth mostly praised her father in public, her love of Anne was kept to private ventures such as the “chequers ring” which Elizabeth kept with her even as she neared death. It was a ring with rubies and diamonds that “reveal two portraits: one is of Elizabeth I; the other is thought to be of her mother, Anne Boleyn…When closed, the two portraits Almost touch: face to face, mother to mother.”
Queen Elizabeth’s mother Anne Boleyn was an extremely controversial figure. Anne was called “the concubine” and “the great whore,” even after her death, much like Rhaenyra was remembered. Similarly, Aegon III wore black all his life. He was a ghostly figure, and was traumatized by all that had happened to him. Perhaps he did not keep any mementos of Rhaenyra close to him, but I would argue that the great sadness he carried with him shows that he was rather devoted to his mother, even if he couldn’t show that in public. The dragons died out during his reign, which I would add as a twisted memento of Rhaenyra. The animals that caused her death were now all dead…and that is his way of keeping her with him. He avenged her in a way.
Moreover, “Elizabeth was less than three years old when the Calais swordsman severed her mother’s head at the Tower of London…”
Elizabeth was only three, but she still kept mementos and seemingly loved her in private?
Viserys II would have little memory of his mother. Anything he knew of her and his eldest three brothers would have come from those at court, Baela, Rhaena, or Aegon. Just like Elizabeth would have learned of Anne from dubious sources. I don’t see him having felt any strong hatred or indifference toward his mother, because even with how distant royal parents were they still cared, and the children wanted to be cared for. Similarly with Elizabeth being so young yet able to have such a great private affection for Anne, I believe Vis would have too. Perhaps he did “usurp” Daena in a way. But can we honestly say that a teen would have been better than a man with years of experience as Hand (love you Daena stay iconic)? Can we say that when people still have memories of the Dance decades later they’d want a woman on the throne? That doesn’t point to a belief in male-only succession, that points to a fear of history repeating.
So, to me, I believe the matter of succession is as it’s always been: nuanced. Rhaenyra was an incredible mother, and I don’t believe Aegon, the boy who mourned for her all his life and couldn’t stand to be near anyone, much less the simple girl he was forced to marry, would have hated her. I believe he knew what a tenuous situation he was in, similar to Elizabeth she was made illegitimate and the years her younger brother Edward ruled with his regents. Viserys may have been young when he was captured, but he served the realm well and I dont believe he would have zero interest in his mother. If Aegon II gets a pass for being a neglected and abused baby, I believe the real victims should get a little lenience too.
Plus, Elizabeth wasnt the feminist many assume she is…so while yes Aeg and Vis upheld patriarchal ideology (how is that a win for the Greens? Misogynist ahhs), they are upholding a system that has been around longer than they have. I dont blame them completely.
There were, of course, multiple other factors at play but this is just my thoughts that GRRM most likely wasn’t thinking of when he wrote F&B LOL.
TLDR: IRL History proves that Aegon and Viserys’ actions are nuanced, Rhaenyra deserves to have seen her boys grow up, and the Greens are delulu

I relive the same day.
I've never heard of the Glitch of The Matrix until TikTok, and here's my story. I noticed this started when I was in the 2nd or 3rd grade and has happened 100+ times since.
It usually starts in my dreams; the first one I remember clearly is when I went to school. My teacher wore a blue dress with white polka dots, and I couldn't see her face. I ended up in trouble, and she put me at a table by myself; a kid and his mom (I couldn't see her face) passed out a snack for his birthday and had a vanilla cupcake with rainbow sprinkles. My brother was wearing a green sweater, and it was hot that day in Denver. He complained about the heat when he got in the car.
When I woke up, I went to school. My teacher was gone, and we had a substitute teacher so that's why I couldn't see her face in my dream. She was in a blue dress with white polka dots. I got in trouble; she put me at the table. A kid and his mom, who now I could see her face, passed out cupcakes, and he handed me the vanilla with rainbow sprinkles. My brother said something about the heat and gave me his sweater.
On serious note, I've had a dream of my brother dying and my grandfather dying, and within the year, they both died, and it happened the exact way I dreamt it. I seem unable to know the dates of when it will happen, numbers (no Powerball, calendars, etc), and the faces of people I don't know. I have become so familiar with it that I know when it's happening. I have told my partner and documented numerous moments. I had a dream about COVID in September of 2019. Sometimes, it can be as simple as someone talking to me, my best friend getting fired, breakups, or anything that feels like a core memory for others.
Anyone else out there experience anything like this?

I'm just here to vent, I have a friend and he is also my crush, we have been friends for a while, his family are his mom, and 2 sisters and 1 brother who recently came out of jail, since he got home, he started to burn things in my friends room like his bed, he then moved to the couch which his brother said allegedly had bugs and also burnt it, he is currently sleeping on the floor the country we are in is really hot and humidity is so annoying, we try so hard to find him a job but it feels imposible in this country, I try to buy him essentials whenever I can just to help, and he is just not telling anyone about his situation, his mom mostly just defends his brother and is not trying to help him but rather tell him that he is useless, I'm sad this is happening to him since he is a great person, he is really patient and a good friend, I try to help but its just not enough, it just feels unfair that since his brother got home things have disappeared and other random things appear at their house, his mom doesnt want to give him food because "he is 20 something he should get it himself" and she herself cannot even pay anything at their house since her husband died and would rather spent money in his stupid brother. Life is so unfair at times...
(My first language is spanish)

As we know they were originally planning a trilogy which never happened and probably never will. What story lines would you have liked to see play out ? What do you think they had planned out?
Honestly we have no idea what that would have looked like though here’s my version
Days Gone 2
Fast forward a few years. The map remains the same but expanded upon to the south west. I’d think deacon would remain the protagonist, seeing as the fans took quite liking to him.
Deacon has embraced his leadership skills and leads a host of bikers clearing out caves or something. Boozer among them. We see Deacon at his happiest here among a band of brothers & friends, as it was before the shit
With the Colonel dead in the west, warlords & the survivors that follow them emerge left & right in new parts of the map. Kouri among them. Some of these camps very well equipped, almost resembling current day technology & lifestyles. Many of them occupy large towns & cities, fortifying every inch and living lavishly. Their personalities range from readers to brutes, psychopaths and philosophers. Despite the fact they’re all proud men, a fragile peace holds. However with the zombies becoming less prevalent, they begin to look for new enemies. If the player attacks one of their patrols or encampments, they’ll become hostile like in Skyrim or something.
Anyways, we are going to see tucker die in a slave uprising at some point and replaced by a democracy. That guy with the cowboy hat is going to get tarred and feathered or something. Lisa too is going to come into play. I think she’s going to be a psychopath regardless Deacon will keep trying to help her, tho she’s too far gone and we see a parallel to Skizzo & Iron Mike.
At one point Deacon comes across Nero slaughtering a camp. They gotta eat brains to not spazz out or some shit. Price to pay for being a super zombie. Some plot twist ensues like the Colonel knew about the nero super mutants hence why he would attack em but he didn’t tell anyone so panic wouldn’t ensue.
One warlord raids another, he retaliates & before you know it all hell breaks loose and you a free for all breaks out. Deacons camp is caught in the middle of it.
Humanity fights amongst itself. Tragedy ensues. It is a bloody battle, humanity is brought to a low. Spiked heads, disembodies corpses & slaughter scenes become a common sight. For every low, a new low follows. Babes are torn from their mothers breast and spiked upon bayonets for fun. Savagery rules unchecked. Fields filled with flayed men on sticks can be found. Cruelty becomes the norm. Zombies become a means for torture and depravity. The lands are brazen with ash & the people weary. Deacons own motorbike host are ambushed and slaughtered within the chaos, their heads mounted outside lost lake , Boozer among them.
The fighting leaves Deacons settlement as a pile of rubble, but deacon is persistent in his revenge and for every man of his killed, he spikes 10 of theirs. His fury follow all those who have any association to the murder of his band of bikers. Even those who’s only crime is being related to the perpetrators are not spared. Deacon is a cold, bitter man.
Deacon then finds out that lost lake is Nero’s next target. Maybe obrian followed him. He plans to relocate
The game ends with Sarah dying, maybe to Lisa or a daughter, son, mother or brother of one of deacons victims.
Days Gone 3
Game starts off and Deacon is mad with grief. He brutally kills lisa or whoever killed Sarah. But their infant child needs him and eventually he somewhat pulls himself back together though he’s bitter, angry and violent
He remains a shell of his former self, cold and distant. The warlords are weakened from warring with one another and are helpless when their dominions are getting engulfed by swarms of Nero soldiers who plan to rid the world of man. Only the few will be spared, to be raised as farm animals for food.
The third game would be the finale so there would need to be a big war. The remaining warlords will band together to defeat Nero, Kouri among them, though at this point they are all a fraction of what they used to be. Their cities ash & rubble. Nero will arrive with the largest horde the game has ever seen. Thousands strong, wiping out every sign of life they come across. Thousands die as every position gets overrun.
Deacon and the other leaders manage organize a retreat with those strong enough to relocate and go to hot springs for their last stand. With tucker gone, it is thriving and remains the last untouched encampment.
When Nero reaches the walls of paradise springs, Fighting ensues. The siege of Hot Springs has begun. Cope dies with a smile on his face fighting government scum. Obrian feels bad and sacrifices himself for humanity by betraying Nero. Maybe deacon drops an atomic bomb on their headquarters, who knows. Or maybe everyone just relaxes a bit and coexists
In the end deacon learns to move on from Sarah, grieve healthily, and honor her memory through being a good father to their child. The game ends with flash forward scene and Hot springs is now a thriving town. The final scene shows Deacon and his kid riding motorcycles where him & boozer used to go. Or maybe it ends with an old Deacon telling his grandkids stories about the fallen legends of Iron mike, Sarah, Boozer, and how they saved the world
There’d definitely be a ton more plots, characters and locations & so on. Doubt this even encompasses a fraction of what it could have been.
Sucks we’ll never even have a clue

I (26M) caught my girlfriend (23F) in a web-of-lies.
I'm extremely devasted and my mind is clouded as I write this, but I have caught my girlfriend (23F), with which we have been dating for 6 years in a web-of-lies 3 Times in our dating period.
She has left me in my lowest point.
In the beginning of our releationship I caught her deleting a messages on her Iphone. I then confronted her and she told me that she deleted those messages because I would get the wrong impression of them and would end the releationship. She told me that she was scared to lose me, as I'm jealous of other males, which in fact is true, but I think my feelings were right all along.
I forgot the content of the message.
I let it slide, since we were in the beginning of our releationship (Maybe 1-2 years into it) and I also wasn't faithful at that time. I have even shared this with her at some points of the releationship, as I'm honest. The thing is that she said that she loves me so much that she would never do such a thing to me.
Slowly - I let my guard down, as she was with me during very hard moments in my life, where she could have easily left. As I let my guard down - I started adoring her and the thought of other girls started to dissappear.
She was extremely sweet, innocent and loving. No matter what I did - she was always there for me to support me and was always on my side.
I started focusing more on work, we were seeing each other everyday and everything was flourishing, but I never stopped being envious when she came with me at a disco/bar with friends or where there were other males.
I always felt as she had an eye out for some of them and always felt like I didn't satisfy her completely, as she had previously made remarks about our sexual encounters, which were above regular.
I slowly started to trust her more, as she continiously gained my trust by her action. Meanwhile I was 100% focused on my businesses and success.
She was working in a kid's playground and selling cakes. I was always there and supporting her.
As my success progressed - we started to go out on world trips on the most beautiful places and fell deeply in love (or so I thought)
4 years had passed by. She was still good an innocent (or so I thought).
On the 4th year - I made a project that made me life-changing money. I took her in Dubai with my whole family and spent a fortune to please them. Unfortunately - she was not happy there, I felt like she didn't support me at that moment. She didn't care what I did, she didn't care about my success. She tells me 'This is your success, not mine' 'This is your money, not mine' I told her I want to buy a house for us and she said 'This will be your house'
I then fell into an emotional pit, because everything I do is to support my family and create one wit her.
I got extremely mad, this feeling didn't fade away. I wanted to end it with her, because she didn't acknowledge anything.
The summer was approaching, we got into a fight over something (I Think I caught her again) - We separated for a month, she started crying and was working the whole month. - I went on a vacation with friends, where I cheated on her (Only kissing) and started approaching other girls. But while doing all this - My girlfriend never left my mind, I was extremely sad that I ended it with her.
I opened up her Instagram Account and saw on her story how she is on vacation with two good girls from her work and one baby (She was lonely by the looks of it and extremely sad)
I got back from the vacation and started working things out with her, I took her on a vaction, we had a bonding there, but something didn't feel right... She seemed sad.
I started gambling on crypto futures... I lost 20% of my networth... I got extremely mad.
We went back in our country and then I took her on another trip. I bought her everything she wanted, I took her everywhere she wanted, I did everything to please her. My focus at that time was entirely on her.
She wanted to go in the casino - we went. I lost money, but gave her, since she wanted to stack an amount for a nose operation.
(Not because the nose was broken or something, but because she wanted to look better)
Business started getting bad, my income vanished.....
I started trading more in order to get back to my previous amounts...
I lost it almost all.. I had 1 reserve fund which was locked and I waited a couple of months to take the funds out. She was there with me even when I lost.
She finished her operation.
I got the reserve fund. I started trading, I made half the amount back. She wanted me to buy her a car - I did. I bought a land as well, on which I wanted to start building our house.
After all that - I lost all my funds again...
She had been constantly in a fight with her parents and wanted to move out.
I had one small income left - with all the funds I had, I rented an apartment for 6 months.
During those 6 months - I focused on working, but was losing due to my gambling habbit.
She got a new job. She started going out with friends. Sexual intercourse decreased by a lot.
I told her that I don't like her going out till 6 AM in the morning. This just isn't right with me, so I got suspicious.
I hacked her laptop... she saw a notification and rushed to the house... I was able to see a lot of things, but it appears - she was deleting evidence, so I asked her to give her phone. - She gave it to me.
Unfortunately - I knew how to see deleted messages on an Iphone. I saw only one message, the content was:
'Don't message me anywhere again.'
I got filled with rage and we had a fight. She was fighting with me to get her phone back. I gave it and told her I want to end it.
As he was a famous greek singer - I was able to analyze when he had concerts and saw that on those dates - she had been visitng those concerts...
3 Days later - we talked and worked it out.... I was madly in love with her at this point. She told me that she arranges stages for him. (It's related to her new job)
My gambling habits were in full force. I lost a lot of money and couldn't afford a rent of a high-cost, so I told her - Let's move out to my mother's place and in the next 1 year I will make sure that I succeed again. (My mother isn't living inside the house, but my brother is)
She agreed roughly. So we moved and I started working, but unfortunately - The money I felt I was making was not enough, not nearly enough to buy an aparatament or build our house. She was acting kind, innocent.
I went out on a birthday party and my friend created a circumstance, where I would sleep with a girl next to me. I knew she really liked me and hooked up. We were going to have intercourse, but as I did anything - my girlfriend was on my mind and I couldn't bring myself to do anything other than kisses... I just couldn't.
She started going out with friends again. She was going nightclubbing with them, but assurred me - she was doing it for her own fun.
She was meanwhile stacking money to get a boob-job done. - She did it, made her boobs bigger. She assurred me that she was doing it for her own fun.
6 months have passed. - I stopped gambling, but she told me that she doesn't like my house, doesn't like that I'm living with my brother and she doesn't see a future with me.
She told me she would leave and go in her cousin's apartament, but he doesn't want me there.
I told her that I want to break up with her, because she doesn't want to be with me at my lowest point. I told her that she probably wants to leave the house to go out nightclubbing and find someone better than me. She felt offended (Or so It seemed), but I think that was the truth. She told me that she wants to have kids with me, she loves me, etc.
The next day: She goes out of city without telling me anything about her location. At night: she goes in a nightclub with her friends + other males.
I ask her in 2 AM - 'Where are you right now'? She comes in and out of 'Online' status. and at 4 AM I notice a follower increase on her Instagram, she follows him back - I send her a video and ask who the f is that? She responds 'What do you want', 'This is an old friend', 'Stop being envious'
I get extremely angry and stop responding. The next day I check the live photos of the nightclub and pray to god to give me a sign that I'm not delusional and exactly the next photo - She is on the same table, with the same guy, with her friends and other males. She told me she was sleeping.
1 Day passes - she starts messaging me and sending me photos with the quote 'Let's promise we will never leave each other and fix everything when things go wrong.' 2 Day passes - she starts messaging me, so I show her that I don't want to talk with her. 3 Day passes - no one messages. 4th day she messages me: "Are we breaking up?" and I told her "Do you think I want to be with someone, who constantly lies to me, goes out nightclubbing and adds some r*tards in Instagram?" She told me - "First of all - I'm not lying about anyhing" Then I ask her - "Why have you added this person in 4 AM in the morning"? She replies: "I have had him for some time now, he is an old friend" I told her that I monitor her followers and know if he is old or new" I told her that she looks like trash in my eyes at this point and she got angry She told me she isn't obligated to tell me anything and she hasn't added him in 4 AM, she will not be repeating her self.
I ask her: - Can you tell me where were you at that time (The night that this happened) ? She tells me: - Like every night - at home. I sent her a photo of the live nightclub photo where she is with him, her friends and other male friends. I tell her 'I hope this is gives you an answer for everything' 'My girlfriend died a long time ago' She starts sending laughing emojis and says: "It's good, right?" "You killed her more likely and made her what she is today" I tell her "It's possible" She responds "As you can see - he is with his girlfriend, DON'T THINK WRONG THINGS OF ME" I told her: "Don't explain yourself" "This was my last question." She is now telling: "This is a driver of... and some time ago my friend hooked up with him, this is from where I added him, I haven't added him now" I told her: "I don't think anything of you." She responds "The last two years you have not thought of me anyway" WHICH IS NOT TRUE. I tell her "I wish you all the best, I hope you find what you are looking for" She responds "Me too, be happy" I respond "I have only one question left" "When did my girl die?" She reponds "You can always contact me if you need any help" I respond: "Thank you, but I don't think of searching for contacting you anymore" She asks: "Which is your girl?" I respond "The good girl that loved me and was always with me or was this just a product of my imagination? Be honest" She said: "Whatever you feel like" I respond "Okay, good night" Then I forward the message "You can always contact me for help" and I say: "I really loved you and will miss you" She reponds: "I will never stop loving you. There is no way to stop loving a person with which you have been in a releationship for 6 years" "Good night, I will not upset myself anymore" I ask her "Why would you do this to me?" She ask "What did I do to you?" I told her "It's pointless to say, I have a lot more information that on the photo" She says "We were in this town for a doctor checkup, after that we went to a nightclub and accidentially met them (The person and his male friends)" I ask her "Will you stop with the lying?" She says "I'm telling you" I respond "Good night"
Now my question is:
I'm a sucker for her love. Maybe I'm just in love with the old her. I have never loved any girl as much as I love her. I feel absolutely terrible. Maybe part of this was my fault. Maybe it was my fault that she became like this..
What do I do from here? I don't think I will ever love a person this way.. I wanted her to carry my children and raise a family with her.

I (30F) am getting married this year abroad and my Dad is not invited to the wedding anymore.
Bit of a back story, I grew up with 2 drug addicted parents. My mom died a few years ago due to a drug overdose and my dad doesn’t do hard drugs anymore however still smokes pot and takes Valium.
I never argued with my Dad, we always got a long great no matter how ‘ out of it ‘ he was, I never judged my parents or seen them as anything else other than my parents who showed me a lot of love but had demons they could never get rid of and unfortunately it got a grip of my mom,
My Dad has a really bad temper, never towards me but if anyone did him wrong then he would lash out, whether you were someone he knew, the police or even one of his friends.
My Dad broke up with my mom in 2015 and was with a new woman , we’ll call her Carly (she also smokes pot, takes tablets )
I didn’t mind my Dad being with Carly as my Mom and Dad were always very toxic together and they were never suited together.
My Mom died in 2019 and it was really hard on all of us especially my little brother (17M) who I am so close with, he then went to live with my Dad full time and I was living with my now fiance at the time.
Fast forward to now, my dad wants to bring Carly to our wedding, I don’t want her there as I’m really nervous that my Dad will get so high on our wedding day and embarrass us so when he asked can Carly go, I said no but said it would be disrespectful to Mom as I didn’t want to tell the truth about being nervous he will be high on the day incase he got defensive however I should of just said the truth.
My Dad was off with me for about 2 weeks and then last night, out of nowhere he exploded in a disgusting text message where he has said things that he has never said before to me however , he has said these things to other people so I know it was him. He said he wished I was dead, that I need to ‘get over’ my mom being dead and if she was alive she wouldn’t be at my wedding and said I think I’m better than everyone else.
Just for reference, I went down a path where I seen my parents do drugs and refused to have a life like that, I never went to college but wanted to work, have my own money and have my own independence. I now own my own home with my fiancé and don’t depend on anyone financially so this is why my Dad said I think I’m better than anyone else.
I didn’t even argue, I just messaged back and said I’m really hurt and to never contact me again and blocked his number.
I don’t know what else to do here as my Dad was supposed to walk me down the aisle, I have such a small family as it is and now my Mom, Dad and possible my little brother (17M) won’t be there.
I’m really stuck at this point and have not stopped crying all day.
Have I over reacted here?

Warning: This is extremely long
I am writing this because I need to make it known my love for this girl. And there needs to be something in the world that shows my love. All the hours of sleep I have lost for this girl, who I will call Eve, were for naught and I need there to be something tangible of what we had. This is my story of her.
I first met Eve at a volunteer event for an see organization we both went to, 4 days of 5 hours of volunteering. I thought she was beautiful and I wanted to ask her out. As we were leaving on the very last day I asked. I told her I enjoyed talking to her and thought she was cool, I asked if she would want to hang out sometime. I was elated. I thought she had given me her number romantically. I was so happy that day, I had never felt such joy. I was potentially going to be in a relationship with this amazing and beautiful woman. I texted her that night, and we talked some. The next day I asked her on a date, if she wanted to go to a local aquarium with me. She told me that she had a boyfriend. My soul was crushed, I felt myself die a bit. I physically felt my joy leave, everything was gray again. I had fallen in love with her over the simple act of her giving me her phone number. I have longed for female connection and affection for so long that even a slight show of something that could be considered as romance made me adore her. And that shows how fucked up I am. I made some more small talk, nothing much. I tried to play it off as “oh yea that’s cool”, perhaps I could salvage a friendship for now, and wait until she did not have a boyfriend. I asked her if she wanted to do paintball for my Birthday, she couldn’t because her sister got injured as a kid from it. For the next 3 months I mourned. I was sad, I had fallen in love with this beautiful girl, but could not even attempt to be with her. Then in November I saw her at another event, I was so scared. I was too afraid to make contact with her. I saw her and was terrified, of scorn, of disgust. I was embarrassed. She walked past me once and I said hi, as a friend, but no response, perhaps she did not hear me. I avoided her for the next few hours. Eventually during a raffle at the end we made eye contact. It was very brief, barely a second. I looked away so fast. She was so breathtaking. Now I knew that she knew I was there, and she knew I knew she was there. I went home without any more contact. The next months were the same, sadness. Mourning the relationship I (thought I) almost had. Every day I thought about her. Every single day. Not 3 hours could pass without her crossing my mind. At night I would look at her on Instagram. Look at her pictures, it was nothing creepy, I just admired her beauty and longed for her. I saw her boyfriend, he was ugly and fat. I do not mean to be rude or hate, but she could do better. I am ugly, but I take care of myself, I was jealous of him. One day she posted her Junior prom pics with him, she was so beautiful. One day when I went to admire her pictures, I noticed something. She had taken his name from her bio, and deleted all her posts. They had broken up. I was elated, perhaps I had a chance. I needed to see her again, establish connection. I went to an event where she was going, I saw her, I tried to find a chance to say hello but we were all so busy and split into different groups, I didn’t get a chance. As the event ended it was late. It was dark and in a not desirable area of town, Eve was leaving and my mom was going to accompany her to her car and called me over to accompany her. I walked out and was with them, Eve was so beautiful, her smile made me melt inside. We made some small talk between the three of us as we walked for a minute or two, and then she got in her car and left. I was angry at myself and my situation, I should have talked to her more, put myself out there. I was beating myself up for it the rest of my time there and the ride home. But when I got home I was overjoyed, while I drove Eve had texted me. She said it was nice to see me at an event again, with a smiley face. We talked for a bit, texting back and forth. I was so happy to be talking to her again, and SHE initiated it. Mind you this is on the 8th of February. For the next week or so we texted, not a ton. She was busy, however I have noticed she uses that as an excuse to not reply, more on that later. Come Valentine’s Day it was nearing Junior Prom at my school, I had dreams of bringing her to it. I was hoping to try and do something in person with her and some friends over the weekend, where I could ask in person. However, on Valentine’s Day she posted on her Instagram story a gift she had received from a secret admirer. I was scared I would lose my opportunity, now I had competition. This rushed me. I called her that evening, I told her I wanted to ask in person but saw her story and felt rushed, i asked if she wanted to go to our Junior prom with me. She said that she wasn’t sure, and wanted a few days to get back to me. A few days later she responded, she could not go. She said that she was talking to someone else pretty seriously and didn’t want to go for that reason. I accepted this with grace, I respect her decision. Exactly one month later I ran into her at an event. We talked a bit, we worked by each other this time. She mentioned when we talked with some others as a group that she was going on a spring break trip to California. After the event ended and we had gone home I texted her later that evening. I said it was nice seeing her, and I hoped she enjoyed her break. She responded, I was scared she wouldn’t. Throughout all of this I have held an underlying belief she is weirded out by me, or wants me to screw off, I had asked her out twice, maybe I am just a creep to her. But she did respond. We talked for the next few days, she still took a long time to respond, over 12 hours usually. I get you’re busy, but let’s be honest, everyone checks their phone in that time. On the morning of break when my family was driving off for ours I got a text from her. She sent me sunrise pics from her trip she was on, and said she would send some more. We texted back and forth a bit then, and she said I should send her pics of my trip. I was so happy, she had sent me pictures and asked I send some. While they weren’t pictures of HER, they were still beautiful sunrise pics, and SHE sent them to me first. Over the course of spring break we talked, there was a large time difference so most of it was sending picture, asking or telling something, and responding to previous texts. But one day we were both sat down and we texted back and forth for a straight hour. She was giving me her time and attention, I felt as if she enjoyed talking to me. When break ended however it changed. She took more and more time to respond, hours to days. She said she was busy, but I knew the truth, you can check your phone over the course of 2-3 days and respond. I felt hurt and confused. She has given me so much time and we had talked so much over break but now I was being ghosted. I couldn’t take it anymore. I wrote her a long text, telling her how I felt about her and what we had going on. How she was the most beautiful woman in the world and how I love talking to her, and also how I was getting mixed signals for her. She responded and told me that at first she was texting for friendliness but began to like me as we talked, she said she would text me before her friends and that must mean something subconsciously. She was flattered and admired my persistence in asking her out, now she was open to going out with me to test the waters. I was overjoyed. However I am moving overseas, about 3 months from when this happened, and I told her that. Very unfortunate that when I get my chance it is cut short. We talked more, and planned a date. She never did tell me why she didn’t respond. It was wonderful, we talked a lot. Of course it was awkward at times, but it got better as it went. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She was breathtaking, she had makeup on, but she looks even prettier without it. We talked about all sorts of things, and it all made me like her more. Same passion we wanted to go to college for, both love animals, both believe the same stuff. When the date ended, we went our separate ways. That has since been the last time I have seen her. When I got home she texted me she had a good time, I was so incredibly happy to see that. I hadn’t weirded her out, she hadn’t found me too unattractive to date. One day I posted a pic of me after winning a sports championship along with some others of my team on my story. I have never posted a pic of myself because I am self conscious, this was the first. She viewed my stories, and the only one she gave a like was of me. That made me feel so special, she liked the picture of ME. I was happy, we were still texting, she still took a while to reply, usually a day, but I was happy because I was going on dates with her. During the midst of planning a second, she stopped replying for a few days. When I was touring a college I got the message. She had felt nothing romantic on our date, only platonic. She enjoyed it she said, but felt no feelings for me. She wanted to go out again to solidify these feelings, and give me another chance but because I was moving she didn’t want to potentially start a relationship we would end in 2 months. She said she didn’t want to lead me on. I was heartbroken. I love her. This was the final nail in the coffin, it was over. We would not work out. I replied to her, said thank you for the honesty and wished her luck with life. I have been left on read. I don’t expect anything else, but a reply, a thank you for understanding, anything would be nice. I don’t want it to end. Any connection I can have with her I wanted. I don’t understand, I thought she liked me? While she did say she thought she had feelings, I understand that she may have changed how she felt after going out, but why would she do what she did? Why would she tell me she had a good time it she didn’t think it would work? I feel as if that just got my hopes up. It put me under the impression she liked me too. And why would she like my picture if she did not LIKE me? I am confused m, and I am sad. My situationship with her is done, and any contact is as well. I miss her, I want to be with her. I don’t understand what to do now. For the past year she has been my purpose. I have improved myself for her, cried for her, tried at life for her. Now I have nothing, no purpose. How can I go on when I have no purpose. She was my driving factor for all I did. I am empty now. I write this because I need people to know. I cannot let all I felt for her go unknown. I need to express my love for her somehow, it must be known, it not to her then to you all. I can not let all we had, even if it was really nothing for her and to outside perspective, it was so much to me. And a message I leave for her, if by some miracle she stumbled upon this and recognizes these events. Eve, I love you. I know that it is not reciprocated. I am sorry for loving you, when we together had so little. You are the most beautiful girl in the world, your heart is pure and your mind is sharp. Although I can not be with you I hold no hard feelings. I am not angry, because your feelings are valid, even if they are not what I wish you felt. I hope whatever happens to you in life you excel. I hope you find someone you love that loves you like I do. I will never forget you. Thank you for the chance you gave me, and your honesty and clear communication. Goodbye.

Sorry in advance if I sound like I am rambling. This just happened a few hours ago and I am still crying.
For some background, I (30 f) messaged my SIL (32f) yesterday to wish her a happy Mother’s Day and to let her know I had a gift for her and a gift for my niece (6f) for my nieces up coming birthday. I always make the kids in the family something for their birthday since I am rather crafty and prefer to be more original.
My SIL, BIL, DH and I have had a rocky relationship for years. The past couple of years I have been keeping my distance as I do not feel welcome and because I am working on boundaries. There were some accusations (most founded) that they were on drugs. That is some crap I do not want around my kids. Yet, it is my “issues” that cause tension in the family because I have decided that my little nuclear family deserves rve some peace. I only bend a little bit if there is a party because the kids adore each other.
SIL told me that my niece is having a party and we were supposed to be invited. I told her that surprised me since my MIL said she had not heard of a party. She told me this when we discussed the gift I made my niece. It is an epoxy hummingbird hair clip. It took a lot of time to get right and I was quite proud of it.
SIL said BIL was supposed to extend invites to his side of the family. MIL showed me screenshots of the messages where he asked if my kids were coming (as usual) but no word of me.
SIL wrote a huge message saying BIL didn’t have a way to get a hold of me or my DH, and that of course we were invited as we are family.
It is important to note that they hold their children above our heads as a threat to take them away at the drop of a hat if things do not go their way. This has caused a lot of drama over the past 8 years. The past 2 of which I thought we were on bad terms. This was based on some comments the kids often made and the last time we said more than 2 words to each other it was a big fight.
I told SIL that it did not seem like BIL wanted me there for anything more than my kids and that I did not feel comfortable because the only person who even mentioned that I was welcome was SIL. I have gotten to the point where if I do not feel welcome I will not go. I suffer from Fibromyalgia, depression, and anxiety. And while I am doing better to take care of myself, things are still difficult.
I told SIL that it was ok, I don’t want to cause tension and I actually had plans to see my mom this weekend. My mom lives a couple of hours away and sometimes I get to see my brother. It is cathartic for all of us as my husband gets a break before and after work and I get my family time once or twice a month. We normally craft together and have our “crafting therapy” which is something I really need lately.
The last couple of times I went to my mom’s my son was with MIL and FIL. My mom had me promise that during the summer I would bring my son with me at least once a month. I think this is fair so I agreed.
My SIL wrote a long answer that she sent when I was taking a nap, (No sleep last night so my nerves are frayed) Honestly I have read it twice and have not retained much of the message.
During my nap I missed 2 calls from my MIL. Then I woke up to my MIL bursting into my bedroom, no we do not live with her; she drove to our house, pounded on our door, DH let her in. She barged into my room and started yelling at me. How could I tell SIL that the screenshots were sent to me? How could I tell her we talk? (Huh?) Do I know that SIL called MIL screaming about everything? Do I know FIL is on the phone in a screaming match with BIL? And the last one was that SIL told MIL that if I do not come to my nieces birthday then my MIL would not be allowed to see the kids again.
I woke up to all of this. My DH was trying to figure out what was going on or how to handle it.
Just as quick as MIL came, she turned around and left. I offered to show her exactly what I said, but no. All my fault.
I know this situation is all drama. This is the first time in 2 years that I tried to have an actual conversation with SIL. I tried to be honest, not even brutally, just honest about how I feel.
After MIL left, my kids came in my room and hugged me. They heard everything. What 6 and 3 year old needs to see their mom break down like that?
I called my mom and told her everything and that I started falling into the dark hole of depression again. I know I am exhausted both physically and emotionally. I just needed to get this out.
This is not the first time taking the kids away has been used as a manipulation tool but this time I am being blamed for it. IDK what to do. I just want to curl up into a ball and hide from everything. I want to see my family and to stop feeling like a pawn of this fucked up chess game. I need to remember I am the queen of my own set, tackling my own problems on my own board. I was finally getting to a good place. I just hope this crap does not derail my progress again.
Thank you for reading my rant

My poor late boyfriend's evil older sister, "Queenie" (as she likes to be called🤮). I've posted about her here before.
She would get on some raging jag and send him texts, FB messages, call his cell phone and his house phone, berating him, or telling him how terrible her life is, or going off on how she's glad their other sister died or his wife died or... (Have you seen Baby Reindeer? Like that.)
I told him to block her. He couldn't. He needed to know what she was saying, and what she was saying about him on social media. She said some awful, mean-spirited things.
He felt he always had to keep track of her. She fed him lies and drugs. When she had an up day, she'd write some beautiful letter praising him for being the best brother ever, and giving him suboxones or whatever other drugs she had on hand.
Their sister (who took her own life in 2016) used to put flyers up all over town about how horrible of a person he was.
He truly wasn't a bad person. He had so much goodness and love that he just couldn't see, due to all the trauma...
At some point in the past few years, he stopped using social media as much, but still wanted to know what Queenie was up to. I made an extra account and have been tracking her and other unsavory family members for him. For several years.
I have screenshots that would make anyone go blind with rage.
My boyfriend, the absolute love of my life, my favorite, died at the beginning of February. Alcohol and drugs. Both things that Queenie introduced him to at an early early age.
When he died, she posted a happy video of herself and her family laughing it up at karaoke. Days after the funeral, she posted about how sad she is that she's the only one left alive in her family, and how she had to walk away because he didn't want to be loved and saved.
She made no effort to love him, ever. She made no effort to save him. She took out a restraining order against him and took him to court multiple times in the last couple years.
When he was at his lowest, drinking and having seizures in his house, she sent police to do wellness checks on him constantly.
This is not love. This is abuse.
And now. I can't stop tracking her.
Her house is up for tax sale at the end of the month because she didn't pay property taxes or her utility bills for the last two YEARS.
Today, she posts that the Universe gave her some "fun money" and she was going to have a blowout anniversary.
The taxes, Queenie.
But then says that her plumbing is fucked and she has to pay Roto-Rooter to come out.....
I... I need to get away from this. I don't know how. I don't even live there anymore.
But I have a righteous anger against her. I am writing what I want about her here and on tumblr, and even mentioning on my tiktok how her actions his entire life ended up killing my boyfriend.
I wish Karma would just SMITE her.
How do I get away? I know I could just ignore and forget, but I am still protective of my boyfriend's adult children too.... I don't want her to somehow ruin their lives....