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Handmade - Arts & Crafts Made by Hand
2008.06.24 12:05 Handmade - Arts & Crafts Made by Hand
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2011.11.09 19:24 aimeejo Vintage Fashion
Join us here to chat about all things related to vintage and retro fashion! Feel free to share photos of vintage looks that inspire you or photos of yourself in vintage clothing (that you purchased, thrifted, or made). Thoughts on your latest vintage inspired looks or tips on how to wear, maintain, wash, or store vintage clothes are also welcome here! Vintage style, not values!
2011.06.17 20:49 tmixlogs Houseplants
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2024.04.29 01:19 Careful-Finding7451 My mom abused me for years and even blames me still for her anger, and even during therapy.
Roughly the first decade of my life, maybe, was alright. I never recalled any moments of distress in my life to go back and consider traumatic. My mom had to raise me alone for a while because my biological father didn’t want to consider me his own; it didn’t affect me quite as bad since I have friends who have related to me about being fatherless. My mother had to work many times in order to support me; she would often leave me with my grandparents while she was away on her duties. This was I assume was the only times of my life where I can recall that my life wasn’t exactly a living hellscape.
Up until my early teens is where things started to take a turn for the worse. My mom was in the United States Naval Reserves at the time; during the early 2000’s when the Iraqi War was picking up. She was stationed to be deployed in Kuwait for around six months, and in another state during that time for an additional three months. When she came back from her deployment, she was complete alien to me.
For minor issues, it erupted as giant fights. I don’t remember much, but one incident I always recall in my flashbacks was being pinned down by my mom and having her choke me on my bed, as if I was a criminal and bad guy to her. She tells me today that she doesn’t recall and tells me I’m fabricating this. I remember crying; being scared suddenly that my mom of all people I’ve trusted all my life decided to invoke harm on me in the worse possible way. This was the beginning of this turmoil.
I remember getting new glasses during this time, because she had slapped my face and my glasses broke on the spot. This wasn’t the only incident where she’s personally broken my glasses during our fights. Again, she blames me for inciting this to have my glasses broken. As sort of, ‘I deserved it’.
submitted by Careful-Finding7451 to abusiveparents [link] [comments]
Up until my early teens is where things started to take a turn for the worse. My mom was in the United States Naval Reserves at the time; during the early 2000’s when the Iraqi War was picking up. She was stationed to be deployed in Kuwait for around six months, and in another state during that time for an additional three months. When she came back from her deployment, she was complete alien to me.
For minor issues, it erupted as giant fights. I don’t remember much, but one incident I always recall in my flashbacks was being pinned down by my mom and having her choke me on my bed, as if I was a criminal and bad guy to her. She tells me today that she doesn’t recall and tells me I’m fabricating this. I remember crying; being scared suddenly that my mom of all people I’ve trusted all my life decided to invoke harm on me in the worse possible way. This was the beginning of this turmoil.
After she choked me, I immediately got scared, and with a rush of adrenaline and fear, dialed the emergency line on my phone and reported her as I was told to naturally. We are taught from an early age to immediately seek help under distress and harm, and that’s what I did. Thirteen years old about. I panicked a bit when the police department showed up; lied to them about the situation out of fear and regret of everything. That was the only time I was ever arrested, if you call it as, and my mom still blamed me for that night.Throughout my high school times, I would spontaneously break down in emotion and cry it out in class. Usually, these days happened after my mom and I would have fights in the morning about anything and often it would be aimed at me harder than what the issues were. I never told anyone in those classes who comforted me on why I was like that. I never told them how awful my mother was to me. My entire high school life with her was met with mostly mental abuse and a few bouts of where she inflicted harsh harm on me and left me bruises. Incidents where she’s kicked me while I was on the floor several times. She’s blamed me for ‘accidently’ bringing up the grocery bill in a time when I didn’t have a job and would of paid for my own share if I had the funding. She punched me in front of everyone at the store. During that drive home, she not only pulled my hair down to the seat and ended up tearing off a patch that’s left me with a semi-obvious bald also, but also spraying WD-40 oil on my face when I got out the car. I somehow find it unbelievable that this is the only incident she regrets out of all the times she’s abused me in every way.
I remember getting new glasses during this time, because she had slapped my face and my glasses broke on the spot. This wasn’t the only incident where she’s personally broken my glasses during our fights. Again, she blames me for inciting this to have my glasses broken. As sort of, ‘I deserved it’.
The biggest fight for both of us happened post high school during a heated moment. She threatened to report me to the police for self-harm, and I told her not to. I feared her authority. She kept stomping on my foot to pry my phone out of my hands, and bit a few areas on my body that left large bruises around me; I took photos as documentation to showcase to people who didn’t believe the wrath my mother was placing on me. She gaslit me into not seeking medical attention from the clinic about the toe she broke of me. She told me that was also my fault and that I deserved to have my toe broken. I finally went to the clinic after almost three months of mobility issues from the injury. Luckily, it wasn’t that much of an issue, and by then, I was making a complete recovery from it all. Her manic was also showing in a few incidents where, under stress, she acted out on violent impulses. One incident where I missed work because she decided to break all the dishes on the floor. I and myself only picked up every broken item on the floor, while she bad-mouthed me openly and blamed me for allowing this all to happen. Blamed me for her breaking the dishes on the floor because I was busy working long hours at work to try to clean up the house and dishes as much as I could. It was all my fault to her. This wasn’t and certainly not the last time she’s pointed at me for the house to be cluttered and dirty. I do my best daily to make sure the house is tidy and neat. She barely keeps, as much as she’s tried to. What also has bothered me that she’s never apologized for was comparing a dirty house of ours to black people’s house but citing the racial slur from it. Her excuse was about how my grandfather has quoted it and she because comfortable in her own ignorance from it. Somehow, I always wonder that after she’s even admitted her mistakes, she somehow casted her emotions back in and in order to not feel ashamed for being a terrible parent at her methods. The small incidents such as dumping pure garbage from the kitchen in my room for not taking it to the dumpster. She cited as it was because I wasn’t doing what I was told to. She kept telling me that this was all my fault, that I deserved this infliction to happen on me severely. All of these incidents for years have affected my health and mentality. I almost committed suicide a few times out of turmoil from her. She told me that all this on me was my fault for being a bad child to her. I assumed to myself, that if I was gone from her life, she would be a lot happier and not have to hurt anyone. I remember being close to ending my life and left a note then as an apology for being a burden on her. Why she had a right to hurt me. I woke up alive the next day and destroyed the note. Now, I’m glad to be alive.What also hasn’t helped with our relationship was her backing of her gambling addictive brother, my uncle. She’s even taken out loans personally to pay for his irresponsibility, because she has feared that he’ll hurt her again if he doesn’t get her ways. He’s gambled every bit he can and has affected us personally because of his irritation and attitude towards us when he is low on income from his habit. I just wished he wasn’t my uncle, or at least, didn’t manage his life so poorly that it’s affected my mom and I.
2024.04.29 00:44 Adventurous-Road7587 Abusive boss accused me of theft so I got his store shut down (LONG)
I was a young mom at the time this happened, and I was desperately searching for employment for several months before I landed this fantastical hellhole.
Even though there were definitely a few red flags at the time of my interview, I didn't care; I needed money, and I was a chronic people pleaser with a fear of conflict. So.
Back ground on this job and the environment (this is going to be LONG AF, and kinda sad, but pls read cus I believe the details leading up are important). Sorry for any typos:
It was a simple kiosk job near an entrance of our cities mall. You know, one of those locations that sells cellphone cases, other protective accessories, device unlocking services, screen repairs, etc. Not hard work by any means, but for someone like me who can't sell her way out of a wet paper bag, it was a challenge.
Anyway, the programs used to unlock devices - and just the POS systems in general - were very... lacking. Basic. Bootlegged. But who was I to question any of it? Who was I to question my employers when they told me to log my own hours, and send them in like a weekly "list" via email to their personal emails, rather than having an official clocking system in place? Who was I to question the absurd pricing on cheap, under qualified products? Who was I to question how they store customer's phones that they are trusting us with while we replace a shattered screen or unlock their devices? (BTW, the way we did that was by placing them in an unlocked drawer that was loose and loaded with many random items, such as pens, note pads, paper clips, thumb tacks, elastics, duotangs, screw drivers, etc. Anything put in there was at risk for damage or even disappearing into the void).
I mostly worked there alone; either an opening or closing shift, it varied. There was at least one other employee outside of management that would switch off with me at the end of a shift. Those employees never lasted long; either they were fired, or they valued themselves more than I did myself, and would leave after seeing the nonsense going on...
So this would normally leave me to either work with my boss's (the owners) wife or him himself. Working with the wife was... fine. She either gossiped with me or wondered off to do her own shopping in the mall, leaving me alone. The husband, however, would make my skin crawl every time he'd so much as call into the store, let alone come by in-person.
If he called, and I didn't pick up - whether I was with a customer or not - I'd get scolded. If I wasn't with a customer, he'd demand to know what I was apparently so busy with that I couldn't pick up the phone. If I WAS with a customer, he'd demand to know why I didn't pick up and just quickly tell him I was with someone than hang up; he'd tell me "he'd understand". Other times when I'd be with a customer, but I'd be too afraid of the consequences of NOT answering his call, I'd briefly excuse myself with the customer and tell my boss I was with a client, so I'd call him right back. He'd yell at me at those times, too, telling me to "use my brain" and not to be rude to the client by being on the phone, that it should be "common sense". There was no winning.
When I was hired on, I made it explicitly clear that I had a specific set of availability that they needed to work with, as I DID NOT have childcare, and was working around my boyfriend at the times work schedule to accommodate. He'd work when I didn't, and vice-versa, set hours. They agreed to this set of availability since I could work weekends.
The thing is, if there was ever an instance where the wife was sick, or made other plans outside of working hours that would conflict with a morning shift (like a night of drinking); or another employee would be sick or quit last minute... he'd call my personal phone. At all hours of the day. Demanding, I came in and replaced whatever shift was needed. I would get texts or calls at 2am on a Saturday night, telling me I had to open the store the next morning for his wife (plus close) because she wouldn't be able to anymore, and I'd have to replace her shift. Or he'd call at 6 pm on an evening to "ask me" if I could replace a shift for the next day for whatever reason. When I'd tell him I couldn't because of my availability and lack of childcare, or because I already had plans like being OUT OF TOWN - he'd yell at me over the phone and threaten my job. Calling me selfish and useless and replaceable. If I didn't pick up his calls on my personal time, he would call and call and call. Leave texts and voicemails that were vile and degrading until I'd call back and give him what he wanted.
When he would come into the store while I was working alone, he would hover around within that 8 x 10, enclosed kiosk space and finger through everything I was working on. Messing it up. Questioning everything I did, ask why the inventory was stored and logged so poorly when those were the ways I was taught. Would call me stupid, would yell at me in the open for all the mall-goers to observe and hear. Would call me a "bitch", would ask me why I would just stand there and stare at him while he complained at me and not say anything back to him; would suggest I was too "rtarded to speak up and pathetic.
There were "good moments," where he'd give out little compliments or praises. Talk like I was human and appreciated for being there. Like dangling a fruit of approval in front of someone who craved it, just to keep them compliant. But it was all manipulation to get something else, one way or another, until another "blow up."
Many employees from the surrounding stores would observe this happening. One of the Toys R Us employees next door stepped in once... that was nice of them.
People... I know how it sounds. Why the fuuuu- would I stay somewhere like that, where I was treated like absolute, burning trash?
Answer is simple: I needed the job, I young, I was scared to lose the money... and I had ZERO self-respect at the time. I clearly knew the treatment wasn't OK, but I thought it was normal for people to stick out a shitty job for a paycheck.
Sad, I know, I promise I'm different now 🩷 but the actual ptsd I had to heal from this job...?
ANYWHO! That depressing af backstory was needed to both vent and lay the groundwork for my petty revenge 😈
On a day off following a closing night shift, I received a call from the boss in the early morning. I didn't pick up; so he kept calling. Then his wife added herself to the mix, calling and texting me. Finally, I called HER back, asking what was going on? To my shock, the phone call consisted of me being questioned where a customers phone was and accused of stealing it, as I was the last known person to be in the store with it. They demanded that I come to the store immediately and return the stolen phone, or else they'd be calling the police for thief. After throwing some questions at them myself, and reminding them that I wasn't even the person to have accepted that particular phone repair, or who submitted the logging of it — let alone having even seen it in any way — they fired me. They threatened to sue me for losses, threatened to inform the malls HR to make sure I'd never be employed anywhere else in there, again.
When I told them that's fine, to do whatever they wanted because I wasn't going to listen to they're BS anymore, the husband grabbed the phone and told me I would not be receiving my final paycheck. They would be withholding it to cover the costs of the missing phone; they refused to "pay another cent to a thief" like me. I told them they couldn't do that, and they said they could do whatever they wanted, and I had no say in the matter.
Knowing that they couldn't do that, and knowing DAMN WELL, I didn't touch that phone - let alone steal it - I finally let the fire in me burn like a firey passion.
In the following days, I went around to the surrounding stores and gathered statements from willing employees (including past ones from my store), who spoke on my behalf about the abuse they'd witnessed the owner propel at me (and other employees). On a flash drive, I uploaded all the photos I'd been gathering in the "just in case i need them" folder on my phone. Evidence detailing their improper methods of storing and locking merchandise, customer belongings, etc. Proof of how they mismanaged their logging systems, inventory, and order requests. How they are bootlegged and illegal. How their pos system worked. Proof of how they had us submit our hours to receive our paychecks with, and how they often manipulated the numbers to say we worked less and resulted in underpayment rhat they never rectified or acknowledged. Screenshots of the barage of call logs, text messages, and even audio recordings of voicemails hed leave me with him threatening my job and talking me down. Slapped everything in a pretty manila envelope, contacted my provinces Labour Board, and filed a formal complaint. Mailed everything off the same day and waited.
It took a couple of weeks for me to suddenly receive a check in the mail — IN FULL.
A few weeks later, I got a call back from my files case worker, who informed me that the missing phone had mysteriously reappeared shortly after they'd launched their investigation. At first, they temporarily shut the store down while they conducted a full check on the shop, it's procedures, and the management.
In the end, I am happy to report that the store was completely SHUT DOWN - unable to reopen under that name. Boss would have LOVED THAT as a franchisee, lmao
Turns out they were in a huge amount of debt, were manipulating finances more than I realized, including how they were paying us and working our taxes; had a couple of complaints put in on them from past employees already, and were indeed using illegal software to unlock phones because it was "cheaper".
All I can say is... I'm not stupid. I'm actually pretty smart. And at the end of the day, regardless of how much someone is unnecessarily willing to put up with for the sake of a paycheck: NEVER mess with a mother and her means of providing for her family.
My old boss thought he had a punching bag in me as his employee.
In the end, I made his world burn to the ground 😇
Oh.
And I also made out with his wife during a Christmas party that only she and I attended 🫶
Cheers! 🥂
~ Chrissy ♡
submitted by Adventurous-Road7587 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
Even though there were definitely a few red flags at the time of my interview, I didn't care; I needed money, and I was a chronic people pleaser with a fear of conflict. So.
Back ground on this job and the environment (this is going to be LONG AF, and kinda sad, but pls read cus I believe the details leading up are important). Sorry for any typos:
It was a simple kiosk job near an entrance of our cities mall. You know, one of those locations that sells cellphone cases, other protective accessories, device unlocking services, screen repairs, etc. Not hard work by any means, but for someone like me who can't sell her way out of a wet paper bag, it was a challenge.
Anyway, the programs used to unlock devices - and just the POS systems in general - were very... lacking. Basic. Bootlegged. But who was I to question any of it? Who was I to question my employers when they told me to log my own hours, and send them in like a weekly "list" via email to their personal emails, rather than having an official clocking system in place? Who was I to question the absurd pricing on cheap, under qualified products? Who was I to question how they store customer's phones that they are trusting us with while we replace a shattered screen or unlock their devices? (BTW, the way we did that was by placing them in an unlocked drawer that was loose and loaded with many random items, such as pens, note pads, paper clips, thumb tacks, elastics, duotangs, screw drivers, etc. Anything put in there was at risk for damage or even disappearing into the void).
I mostly worked there alone; either an opening or closing shift, it varied. There was at least one other employee outside of management that would switch off with me at the end of a shift. Those employees never lasted long; either they were fired, or they valued themselves more than I did myself, and would leave after seeing the nonsense going on...
So this would normally leave me to either work with my boss's (the owners) wife or him himself. Working with the wife was... fine. She either gossiped with me or wondered off to do her own shopping in the mall, leaving me alone. The husband, however, would make my skin crawl every time he'd so much as call into the store, let alone come by in-person.
If he called, and I didn't pick up - whether I was with a customer or not - I'd get scolded. If I wasn't with a customer, he'd demand to know what I was apparently so busy with that I couldn't pick up the phone. If I WAS with a customer, he'd demand to know why I didn't pick up and just quickly tell him I was with someone than hang up; he'd tell me "he'd understand". Other times when I'd be with a customer, but I'd be too afraid of the consequences of NOT answering his call, I'd briefly excuse myself with the customer and tell my boss I was with a client, so I'd call him right back. He'd yell at me at those times, too, telling me to "use my brain" and not to be rude to the client by being on the phone, that it should be "common sense". There was no winning.
When I was hired on, I made it explicitly clear that I had a specific set of availability that they needed to work with, as I DID NOT have childcare, and was working around my boyfriend at the times work schedule to accommodate. He'd work when I didn't, and vice-versa, set hours. They agreed to this set of availability since I could work weekends.
The thing is, if there was ever an instance where the wife was sick, or made other plans outside of working hours that would conflict with a morning shift (like a night of drinking); or another employee would be sick or quit last minute... he'd call my personal phone. At all hours of the day. Demanding, I came in and replaced whatever shift was needed. I would get texts or calls at 2am on a Saturday night, telling me I had to open the store the next morning for his wife (plus close) because she wouldn't be able to anymore, and I'd have to replace her shift. Or he'd call at 6 pm on an evening to "ask me" if I could replace a shift for the next day for whatever reason. When I'd tell him I couldn't because of my availability and lack of childcare, or because I already had plans like being OUT OF TOWN - he'd yell at me over the phone and threaten my job. Calling me selfish and useless and replaceable. If I didn't pick up his calls on my personal time, he would call and call and call. Leave texts and voicemails that were vile and degrading until I'd call back and give him what he wanted.
When he would come into the store while I was working alone, he would hover around within that 8 x 10, enclosed kiosk space and finger through everything I was working on. Messing it up. Questioning everything I did, ask why the inventory was stored and logged so poorly when those were the ways I was taught. Would call me stupid, would yell at me in the open for all the mall-goers to observe and hear. Would call me a "bitch", would ask me why I would just stand there and stare at him while he complained at me and not say anything back to him; would suggest I was too "rtarded to speak up and pathetic.
There were "good moments," where he'd give out little compliments or praises. Talk like I was human and appreciated for being there. Like dangling a fruit of approval in front of someone who craved it, just to keep them compliant. But it was all manipulation to get something else, one way or another, until another "blow up."
Many employees from the surrounding stores would observe this happening. One of the Toys R Us employees next door stepped in once... that was nice of them.
People... I know how it sounds. Why the fuuuu- would I stay somewhere like that, where I was treated like absolute, burning trash?
Answer is simple: I needed the job, I young, I was scared to lose the money... and I had ZERO self-respect at the time. I clearly knew the treatment wasn't OK, but I thought it was normal for people to stick out a shitty job for a paycheck.
Sad, I know, I promise I'm different now 🩷 but the actual ptsd I had to heal from this job...?
ANYWHO! That depressing af backstory was needed to both vent and lay the groundwork for my petty revenge 😈
On a day off following a closing night shift, I received a call from the boss in the early morning. I didn't pick up; so he kept calling. Then his wife added herself to the mix, calling and texting me. Finally, I called HER back, asking what was going on? To my shock, the phone call consisted of me being questioned where a customers phone was and accused of stealing it, as I was the last known person to be in the store with it. They demanded that I come to the store immediately and return the stolen phone, or else they'd be calling the police for thief. After throwing some questions at them myself, and reminding them that I wasn't even the person to have accepted that particular phone repair, or who submitted the logging of it — let alone having even seen it in any way — they fired me. They threatened to sue me for losses, threatened to inform the malls HR to make sure I'd never be employed anywhere else in there, again.
When I told them that's fine, to do whatever they wanted because I wasn't going to listen to they're BS anymore, the husband grabbed the phone and told me I would not be receiving my final paycheck. They would be withholding it to cover the costs of the missing phone; they refused to "pay another cent to a thief" like me. I told them they couldn't do that, and they said they could do whatever they wanted, and I had no say in the matter.
Knowing that they couldn't do that, and knowing DAMN WELL, I didn't touch that phone - let alone steal it - I finally let the fire in me burn like a firey passion.
In the following days, I went around to the surrounding stores and gathered statements from willing employees (including past ones from my store), who spoke on my behalf about the abuse they'd witnessed the owner propel at me (and other employees). On a flash drive, I uploaded all the photos I'd been gathering in the "just in case i need them" folder on my phone. Evidence detailing their improper methods of storing and locking merchandise, customer belongings, etc. Proof of how they mismanaged their logging systems, inventory, and order requests. How they are bootlegged and illegal. How their pos system worked. Proof of how they had us submit our hours to receive our paychecks with, and how they often manipulated the numbers to say we worked less and resulted in underpayment rhat they never rectified or acknowledged. Screenshots of the barage of call logs, text messages, and even audio recordings of voicemails hed leave me with him threatening my job and talking me down. Slapped everything in a pretty manila envelope, contacted my provinces Labour Board, and filed a formal complaint. Mailed everything off the same day and waited.
It took a couple of weeks for me to suddenly receive a check in the mail — IN FULL.
A few weeks later, I got a call back from my files case worker, who informed me that the missing phone had mysteriously reappeared shortly after they'd launched their investigation. At first, they temporarily shut the store down while they conducted a full check on the shop, it's procedures, and the management.
In the end, I am happy to report that the store was completely SHUT DOWN - unable to reopen under that name. Boss would have LOVED THAT as a franchisee, lmao
Turns out they were in a huge amount of debt, were manipulating finances more than I realized, including how they were paying us and working our taxes; had a couple of complaints put in on them from past employees already, and were indeed using illegal software to unlock phones because it was "cheaper".
All I can say is... I'm not stupid. I'm actually pretty smart. And at the end of the day, regardless of how much someone is unnecessarily willing to put up with for the sake of a paycheck: NEVER mess with a mother and her means of providing for her family.
My old boss thought he had a punching bag in me as his employee.
In the end, I made his world burn to the ground 😇
Oh.
And I also made out with his wife during a Christmas party that only she and I attended 🫶
Cheers! 🥂
~ Chrissy ♡
2024.04.29 00:29 FollowingTop8854 On a scale of 1-10, What number would you give the design of The Bumblebee guitar ?
 | Eddie made this guitar sometime before the release of the Van Halen II album in 1979. He was first seen with it during the photoshoots for the album cover. submitted by FollowingTop8854 to vanhalen [link] [comments] According to Eddie, he assembled the guitar by himself, using parts from Charvel. He custom ordered a body that could have the pickup mounted from behind, which would eliminate the need for a pickguard. Eddie Van Halen on Young Wizard of Power Rock: “I made the yellow-and-black Strat. It has an ash body by Charvel. It was my idea to have it rear-loaded so I wouldn’t have to have a pickguard, and Charvel routed it for me”. Not Finished in Time for Van Halen II? There’s a lot of speculation out there on the subject of whether Eddie used this guitar in the studio for the Van Halen II album. From Eddie’s statements, it sounds like he barely managed to fully assemble it for the photoshoot, so obviously, he didn’t have it during the studio sessions. Eddie Van Halen on Young Wizard of Power Rock: “I had just finished slapping it together and painting it when they shot the album cover, and just stuck some garbage pickup in it to look like a complete guitar. The pickup that’s on the photo is not really what I use — I had just finished slapping it together and painting it when they shot the album cover, and just stuck some garbage pickup in it to look like a complete guitar”. But, in a different interview, it sounds as though the guitar could’ve been used on the album, but it just wasn’t painted at that point. Below is an interview from 1979, and Eddie talks about the guitar in the past tense – he notes that that’s not what he “used” – meaning that he could be referring to the album sessions. Eddie Talks Guitars 1979: That’s the guitar on the second album cover. The pickup that’s in the picture is not really what I used. When we did the photo session for the album cover, I just finished painting it and slapping it together, and I just stuck some garbage pickup in there I wasn’t actually playing, just so it looked like a complete guitar. But I’ve tried a bunch of different pickups in there. But, it seems more likely that he’s just talking about the guitars that he used on tour. Overall, it seems more probably that the Bumblebee wasn’t used to record any tracks on Van Halen II. Specs, Mods, Changes When the guitar was first assembled in 1979, it had a Charvel neck with the headstock painted black. In the photos from the Van Halen II booklet, the Charvel logo was still visible, but it seems that soon after, Eddie removed it. At that point, it also had just a random pickup in it, which soon after Eddie replaced first with a “zebra” humbucker, and later with a fully black one. Also, that first incarnation of the Bumblebee had a standard Strat-style tremolo bridge, possibly a brass one. During the 1979 World Vacation tour, the Bumblebee had a different neck on it, without the black headstock. This was most likely a brand new neck picked up from Boogie Bodies, as it doesn’t match up with the shape of the original Frankenstein neck – which would be the first candidate. Eddie Talks Guitars 1979: “And now I’ve bought a couple of necks from Boogie Bodies, which I refretted with larger frets – I’m pretty sure they’re Gibsons. I don’t know. I hate the way people do fret jobs. I do it real simple. I just sand down with some 100 wet or dry – that dark stuff – and then I use some steel wool. I like real rounded frets. I hate ’em flat, you know” The reason for this neck swap was that Eddie had to install a Floyd Rose locking nut on it, and he probably didn’t wanna sacrifice the black-headstock neck. So, instead, he decided to fit it on the Frankenstein guitar, and later on on the Dragon Snake. It’s also worth noting here that this was the first guitar that Eddie had a Floyd Rose on. He apparently liked it, as by 1980, he also installed one on the Frankenstein. During the 1979 tour, the guitar had a white humbucker in it, with a black plastic shroud. Eddie assembled this pickup by himself, using a PAF magnet, DiMarzio bobbins and casing, and brand new copper wire. The pickup was also dipped in paraffin wax, which according to Eddie, cuts out the feedback. Eddie Talks Guitars 1979: “A DiMarzio with a P.A.F. magnet, rewound with copper tape around the windings. Well, I dipped it in paraffin before I put the copper tape on. But DiMarzio plastic is real cheap. I mean, you have to be really careful. It looks like a wrinkled prune, actually, but it still works [Laughs.] It’s real cheap stuff. But old P.A.F.’s, you can just throw them in there and let ’em soak it up. Doesn’t matter how hot it gets – doesn’t melt. But DiMarzio’s, God! If you blink, all of a sudden your pickup’s ruined”. From 1980 onwards, the Bumblebee was seen very occasionally. On one such occasion, filmed at Eddie’s home sometime in the mid-80s, Bumblebee was seen with a brand new neck on it Buried alongside Dimebag Darrell This guitar was buried alongside Dimebag Darrell, who was according to his own words, a huge fan of Eddie Van Halen. Dimebag Darrell: “My heroes were Eddie Van Halen – especially after Van Halen I, II, Women and Children First , and Fair Warning – Randy Rhoads, Ace Frehley and dudes like that. My brother played drums and we jammed in the garage and started writing our own stuff”. As far as the story behind this – Eddie had met Dimebag only a few weeks before his tragic death. According to Dime’s girlfriend, Rita Haney, Dime had at some point made an offer to buy one of Eddie’s guitars for $30,000. But, Eddie declined and said that instead, he’d make a special guitar for him. When the family was organizing Dimebag’s public memorial, Eddie apparently called and asked whether there was something he could do to help. Rita suggested that he could piece up a guitar. But, Eddie thought of a better idea, and instead brought the original Bumblebee that he made in 1979 – as that was Dimebag’s favorite guitar of Eddie’s. Rita Haney: “We’d met him just a few weeks earlier for the first time, and Dime was ready to cut him a 30,000 check that night for one of his striped guitars, but Eddie told him he’d do one special for him. So I asked him if he’d stripped up a guitar for Darrell. He said, “one of the red, white, and black ones?” and I said, “No – Darrell always said that the yellow and black were your toughest guitar!” “When he came to the funeral, he brought his original yellow and black from 1979. He said, “An original should have an original.” |
2024.04.29 00:17 OriginalDonaGraciete Bayer 🤝 Benfica members coalition proposal & Making us temporarily the biggest joint member-supported clubs in the world (> Bayern), for the rest of the season.
Dear Bayer supporters,
Hello, Benfica supporter here.
Here is a fun idea. The headline of this post might seem a little odd. So let me explain.
Today during a nice brunch with lots of food and alcohol, between me and some friends, and all of us being Portuguese, so of course we spent most of the time talking about football (if not all of it 😅. A lot is happening this weekend in our league), one of the topics was how our season is now over and how we should think about the next season.
We secured 2nd place, and we have no more competitions to play, other than finish the championship. But as things are now, we have no direct access to the Champions League next year, the only option being if Bayer wins this year’s Europa League, since you already qualified directly from your league, a spot opens to the highest coefficient club not directly qualified (Us).
And this is where you got in and some ideas and jokes started to evolve.
Your success is of our interest.
So, here’s an idea:
What if we joined support for the rest of the season?
In a friendly coalition way, of course, this has no way to be an official status.
We know that our (maybe not yet existing) relationship this season started low (at least for us) 😆.
A dramatic departure from Grimaldo, which turned into a tragedy for us this season, as we struggled so much with left-backs 😔, was possibly an amazing addition to you (I’m not aware how you rate his season, but I heard great things).
Plus we grew to be tired and even showed some desperation in getting rid of one of your countryman and ex-manager, Roger Schmidt, as we blame him and his well-known stubbornness for most of our underachievement this season (well …not really your fault).
But it can end well and even be the beginning (if never existed) of a beautiful friendship between us.
Here’s what each part would win:
You:
- Some extra synergy to you so you continue this amazing season strong and finish Invictus.
- The Europe League and the DFB-Pokal (not guaranteed unless you manage it 😅).
Us:
- Direct access to the Champions League.
Mutual:
- Become temporarily unofficially the biggest supported club in the world by club members.
- [Extra] Flex on Bayern.
I don’t know if you have any rivalry with Bayern. But with us has always been a “race” (more of a pride thing) to see who has the biggest membership.
For those who don’t know Benfica is currently the second club in the world with the most supporters, just behind Bayern, and when I say supporters, I don’t mean those pretend scales, like Instagram followers, Facebook likes, etc… I mean real members that give their devotion of time, energy and hard-earned money to the club. (If you do a quick Google search you can find many supports to this claim)
We were the biggest for a long while, even featuring in the Guinness Book for many editions. but I guess these days with the globalization of football, social media influence, the superior quality of German football, and the European and world success, Bayern had no issue outgrowing us.
Here is the Math:
Bayer ~50k:
According to this page on your website (link) you have almost 50k members. Don’t know when was that last updated but according to the membership order page on your website (link), there’s been a huge demand to be one. (No surprise, you’ve had a great year, and the future looks bright)
Benfica >300k:
Don’t know exactly at this time of the year how many we are, but according to our president in a General Assembly in September last year, we had 298.948 active members (here’s some news about it), and in February this year he said again that between February 2023 and February 2024, the club grew 25k members (don’t know how many overlap with the counting of September), but we must have grown at least past 300k.
Bayern 316k:
According to the latest update on the Bayern website, as of April 2, 2024, they have 318.372 registered fans (source). I don’t exactly understand if those are exact members or just part of their supporters clubs, but they say they have at least 316k (source)
So together with at least 350k members is enough to pass Bayern, making us the biggest in the world even if just temporarily.
How will the support be shown:
… Well idk, we can work on some ideas.
Notes:
I cannot speak officially for any of the clubs, or its members. This is just a proposal to both clubs and members to entertain ourselves for the rest of the season.
If it works, great, it will be fun, if not, well, that’s life.
I know that Benfica has a long and rich history of friendship with clubs all over the world, forged officially by the clubs or by its organized groups of supporters and there are many reasons and histories of how these relationships started. Don’t know about you.
Also, this membership numbers thing is always disputed as some clubs claim to have more than 300k members. In that A Bola link, it states River claims 336k, Boca 314k, but so does Benfica claim officially 344K when counting members that are currently excluded by having irregular membership (missing payments) we will make an official recount in 2025, but numbers I presented are also official and most times other clubs numbers are like our total members count.
And also, I know other clubs will also have a spike in unofficial support too, including Bayern which will play Real Madrid in the Champions League, so every Barcelona member will claim support for Bayern, but that is just for a game or 2, together we can last 10 (or something) 😂.
So, what do you say, keen on making this work?
You might not even need or want extra support, as things are working great for you, and you even seem to have a lucky hand on your shoulder with all those last-minute goals that keep you invincible.
It will also be our mandatory job to qualify for CL next season anyway, but not having to start the season earlier and play fewer games would be nice, and also maybe at the next official member count statement we pass Bayern finally (given that they might not also win the CL and member growth slows a bit), so there isn’t that huge need to flex that hard on them.
But it can be fun.
Extra future good thing for both of us:
Maybe unlikely, but involving you, us, and Bayern. We heard rumors (for what they are worth) that Bayern is considering hiring Schmidt. This could be great news for both of us.
Benfica members are mostly tired of him but we don’t think we can afford or have the balls to sack him.
This might work for you if happens and if Schmidt stays true to his reputation, he might have a few good first months or first season but then he will chock (you probably already know this feeling), leaving you big room, if you continue this project, to win one or more championships in the next couple of years.
Many of us are praying hard, even if you don’t need it, that this happens. We would even deliver him to Munich ourselves. 🤣
Cheers
submitted by OriginalDonaGraciete to Bayer04 [link] [comments]
Hello, Benfica supporter here.
Here is a fun idea. The headline of this post might seem a little odd. So let me explain.
Today during a nice brunch with lots of food and alcohol, between me and some friends, and all of us being Portuguese, so of course we spent most of the time talking about football (if not all of it 😅. A lot is happening this weekend in our league), one of the topics was how our season is now over and how we should think about the next season.
We secured 2nd place, and we have no more competitions to play, other than finish the championship. But as things are now, we have no direct access to the Champions League next year, the only option being if Bayer wins this year’s Europa League, since you already qualified directly from your league, a spot opens to the highest coefficient club not directly qualified (Us).
And this is where you got in and some ideas and jokes started to evolve.
Your success is of our interest.
So, here’s an idea:
What if we joined support for the rest of the season?
In a friendly coalition way, of course, this has no way to be an official status.
We know that our (maybe not yet existing) relationship this season started low (at least for us) 😆.
A dramatic departure from Grimaldo, which turned into a tragedy for us this season, as we struggled so much with left-backs 😔, was possibly an amazing addition to you (I’m not aware how you rate his season, but I heard great things).
Plus we grew to be tired and even showed some desperation in getting rid of one of your countryman and ex-manager, Roger Schmidt, as we blame him and his well-known stubbornness for most of our underachievement this season (well …not really your fault).
But it can end well and even be the beginning (if never existed) of a beautiful friendship between us.
Here’s what each part would win:
You:
- Some extra synergy to you so you continue this amazing season strong and finish Invictus.
- The Europe League and the DFB-Pokal (not guaranteed unless you manage it 😅).
Us:
- Direct access to the Champions League.
Mutual:
- Become temporarily unofficially the biggest supported club in the world by club members.
- [Extra] Flex on Bayern.
I don’t know if you have any rivalry with Bayern. But with us has always been a “race” (more of a pride thing) to see who has the biggest membership.
For those who don’t know Benfica is currently the second club in the world with the most supporters, just behind Bayern, and when I say supporters, I don’t mean those pretend scales, like Instagram followers, Facebook likes, etc… I mean real members that give their devotion of time, energy and hard-earned money to the club. (If you do a quick Google search you can find many supports to this claim)
We were the biggest for a long while, even featuring in the Guinness Book for many editions. but I guess these days with the globalization of football, social media influence, the superior quality of German football, and the European and world success, Bayern had no issue outgrowing us.
Here is the Math:
Bayer ~50k:
According to this page on your website (link) you have almost 50k members. Don’t know when was that last updated but according to the membership order page on your website (link), there’s been a huge demand to be one. (No surprise, you’ve had a great year, and the future looks bright)
Benfica >300k:
Don’t know exactly at this time of the year how many we are, but according to our president in a General Assembly in September last year, we had 298.948 active members (here’s some news about it), and in February this year he said again that between February 2023 and February 2024, the club grew 25k members (don’t know how many overlap with the counting of September), but we must have grown at least past 300k.
Bayern 316k:
According to the latest update on the Bayern website, as of April 2, 2024, they have 318.372 registered fans (source). I don’t exactly understand if those are exact members or just part of their supporters clubs, but they say they have at least 316k (source)
So together with at least 350k members is enough to pass Bayern, making us the biggest in the world even if just temporarily.
How will the support be shown:
… Well idk, we can work on some ideas.
Notes:
I cannot speak officially for any of the clubs, or its members. This is just a proposal to both clubs and members to entertain ourselves for the rest of the season.
If it works, great, it will be fun, if not, well, that’s life.
I know that Benfica has a long and rich history of friendship with clubs all over the world, forged officially by the clubs or by its organized groups of supporters and there are many reasons and histories of how these relationships started. Don’t know about you.
Also, this membership numbers thing is always disputed as some clubs claim to have more than 300k members. In that A Bola link, it states River claims 336k, Boca 314k, but so does Benfica claim officially 344K when counting members that are currently excluded by having irregular membership (missing payments) we will make an official recount in 2025, but numbers I presented are also official and most times other clubs numbers are like our total members count.
And also, I know other clubs will also have a spike in unofficial support too, including Bayern which will play Real Madrid in the Champions League, so every Barcelona member will claim support for Bayern, but that is just for a game or 2, together we can last 10 (or something) 😂.
So, what do you say, keen on making this work?
You might not even need or want extra support, as things are working great for you, and you even seem to have a lucky hand on your shoulder with all those last-minute goals that keep you invincible.
It will also be our mandatory job to qualify for CL next season anyway, but not having to start the season earlier and play fewer games would be nice, and also maybe at the next official member count statement we pass Bayern finally (given that they might not also win the CL and member growth slows a bit), so there isn’t that huge need to flex that hard on them.
But it can be fun.
Extra future good thing for both of us:
Maybe unlikely, but involving you, us, and Bayern. We heard rumors (for what they are worth) that Bayern is considering hiring Schmidt. This could be great news for both of us.
Benfica members are mostly tired of him but we don’t think we can afford or have the balls to sack him.
This might work for you if happens and if Schmidt stays true to his reputation, he might have a few good first months or first season but then he will chock (you probably already know this feeling), leaving you big room, if you continue this project, to win one or more championships in the next couple of years.
Many of us are praying hard, even if you don’t need it, that this happens. We would even deliver him to Munich ourselves. 🤣
Cheers
2024.04.28 23:44 SpecialistExchange28 Wheelchair Ramps 101 - DIY down and dirty edition 2024
 | Thanks for deciding to read my post today. This is not the definitive or complete explanation of wheelchair ramp design. Before I start let's get the technical potentially legal stuff out of the way first. submitted by SpecialistExchange28 to u/SpecialistExchange28 [link] [comments] Ramps that are indoors or in a fenced in area like a back yard (THE FENCED AREA MAY BE DIFFERENT IF IT IS ACCESSIBLE TO THE PUBLIC). Ramps not used by the public = Food delivery, mailperson, utility meter reader, Jahova's Witnesses, etc. These Ramps do not need to Meer ADA requirements. But should still be functional and safe to use. You'd be surprised at what people do. But if it works, then it works. Backyards that are fenced in and not accessible to the public MIGHT be excluded. FOR ANY RAMP OR ACCESSIBLE FEATURE ADDED TO OITDOOR SPACES THAT THE PUBLIC CAN ACCESS WILL 100% NEED A TOWN OR CITY PERMIT. THIS IS WITHOUT EXCEPTION. Here is where it gets real. If you decide to ignore this and say someone trips, slips pr otherwise gets injured by your accessibility fearure. YOU and only YOU are at fault. Even if it is 100% ADA compliant, the feature was not properly registered with the town or city so it can be noted when and where it is installed and on what property. Next the town or city will fine you a set amount per day it was in place without a permit. For example a permit for my handcycle shed cost $100 that might seem unfair and costly. But if I had just built my shed without permit they could fine me $1,000 per day it was up from the time it was built. Getting a permit and making things 100% or better than ADA complaint, yes it is easy to surpass what the ADA asks for. ADA is the bare minimum expected. This doesn't mean someone trying to con you won't try and sue you. But, if you have things in order such as getting a permit. Making things at least ADA compliant will support your side in a legal issue. Yup that is the borish stuff for the most part. Forget about it and life will likely get very annoying. For those who are interested and want a live community to chillax in to talk about most anything really, listen to music and make requests for Fave songs or topics you would like to discuss. I broadcast live typically in the cold months M-F from around when my pain allows me to get up varies 9am to after noon and I go until my sweetheart arrives home. About 5PM to 6PM I have been broadcasting live 16 years. Quite literally I am just repeating here what I will talk about live also. TikTok until the ban kicks in. Then it's back to Twitch. AbiliTV or AbiliTV Live. If you Google the name do not pay attention to the website I don't have one. And the owner of that sight well let's say I don't endorse him. I am on YouTube, FB, IG,,Twitch, account still there but not used since it went to X (Twitter), Kick - although I don't like the vibe on Kick. Of course I am here getting started here on Reddit in a more text based community. I am in the Wheelchair and Disabilities communities where I am learning about all sorts of amazing people. OK, I always hate posting I am a live content creator. I hate it so much I have hardly any community live. Ramps. What makes a crappy, good, or excellent ramp? For me it is the little details that really make the differences. I will use images to try and explain the bare basics. 1st image: Most people see this and think: My prayers have been answered. No they have not. You will notice the direction the person is using the ramp. Manufacturers do this to play into your desperate need for a ramp solution. They want you imagining how easy there ramp is to use. So they stage images showing that. Much how homes are staged. To make it easier for people to fall victim to slick sales tricks. What if the door were closed and rhe person was approaching the door? Look at the ramp. How does one say open s screen door or storm door that swings out? Most dwellings will have one. Now imagine it's raining really hard and that nice metal surface isn't as grippy? And you have a bag or two of groceries on your lap. Now open the storm door and then before it closes as they are typically on a door closer of some design. As you fight the storm door, are annoyed by the driving rain, and fumbling for your keys. Even on an ideally perfect day without snow or rain this ramp will work 100% against you. Also it isn't wide enough to allow you to move over out of the way ofcthe storm door. Meaning you need to back up and get the door perched against your wheelchair frame to now roll foward to open the entry door. Sadly using the wheelchair brakes just make things all that much more frustrating. 2nd Image: 3 ft ramp $219. This seems decent right? It isn't. You have to account for the pitch or slope. If you have a threshold that is 10 inches higher than the surface you need to reach, this means you need not just a ten foot long ramp but a raised area that meets the threshold that the ramp attaches to closest to the surface you're trying to reach. What happens if you decide to use a short ramp and have a steeper slope? The worst will be to flip backwards going up. Next worst you don't have the upper body strength to make it. The next will be you deciding never to use it except to exit with. It is a little less scary going down. Although you need really good hand strength and dexterity to maintain control at higher speeds. ADDING INFO AS A SAFETY REMINDER: Most manual wheelchairs have what are called brakes. ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ These are NOT brakes like those of a car, or bicycle. Injury or worse can happen when they are used as friction brakes. DANGER: You risk not only destroying your tire and wheelchair but also injuries from catastrophic failures of the tire and possibly the rims of the wheels. These levers no matter if they are push or pull to lock or scissor styled brakes are only meant and made to hold you in place AFTER you use your hands to stop with. OR FEET for those able to do that. The reason these are not brakes in the typical sense is because of how they work. They bite into the tire material and can blow out air filled tires by ripping through the rubber tire. On solid tires they can tear the tire causing it to fail and possibly fall off the rim. If the rim is left exposed and you are moving the metal or composite rim will slide on the surface. The biggest excuses I hear for using these levers as brakes are: They are called brakes. YouTube wheelchair brake basics how to use and not use them. I don't want people ending more disabled than they already are. My hands are to weak to stop me. I understand that. So my best suggestion is rubber coated work gooves. Leather gloves or some form of glove that you like to use. I personally don't like wearing gloves, but when I go on 16 mile strolls I wear a pair. They provide additional traction and that grip means less hand strength is needed to stop overall. It is not recommended to grab the tire for additional friction at any time while moving down hill. If tire use us needed make sure you have a pair of heavy duty leather gloves on. Welding gloves short gauntlet works. Warning: This method destroys gloves rapidly. These is due to the sandpaper like friction the tire creates with its texture and tread design. Extreme heat can build up and burn your hands. So pay attention and release grip changing hand positions to reduce this. Ramps have to be designed to work with the fact wheels like to roll. And steep ramps are what prompted my warning about brake use. I am considering designing a brake system to work like a bicycle that could be added by most people. I will look into this concept at some point. So a stubby short ramp might be low cost but isn't the answer it appears in most manufacturers images. Lots of information that needs to be shared because so many people will fall into the thinking what they have is a good solution and it's harming them and the equipment they use. Good news here: Most towns and cities do not charge or keep the charge very low for ramp and other disability access devices in public spaces. What the permit does is show you the bare minimum of what is required to make your project ADA compliant. Also it resistors your ramp or lift with the town or city and at what property. This way should a nosy neighbor want to whine about your project looking horrible the town or city can reassure that negative rube that you are in full compliance with all the ordinances and ADA requirements. So they can mind their own beeswax. Also the permit is a must if a property owner or landlord are to allow the access in the first place. This has to do with liability and property insurance. Speaking of that crap it would be wise to invest in renters insurance in the event someone claimsxto have been injured by your device. Do not depend only on the landlord or property owner's word that its covered. You could also ask your town or city how that works also to get a straight answer. If the landlord or property owner does claim you are covered always get that in writing. 3rd image shows the lack of what is called a staging area. This is exactly what a porch does. Notice the porch is flat and provides room to move out of the way of any storm door? This is a super important and all to easy to miss feature that makes a ramp go from frustrating to awesome. I even made that mistake with my ramp I built for my garage. I did change it so it has a 6ft deep 4ft wide same as the ramp staging area that once I installed a screen door I use daily. 4th image: Now it gets colorful. Nothing attaches to the porch or the building in my design. This is to respect the property. And save you on extra costs to restore things later. The support for the flat area of the porch: Measure uo to the front top edge of the threshold. Say this is 6 inches or so... Using 4X4 cut to the same width of the porch. These are rated for outdoor ground contact. Next using decking wood this should be equal to the top front edge of the threshold. In effect the timbers are the support they are orange and just on top of the porch. They go across to provide full support. How to determine how many. For the porch shown in your image would likely use three. One right under the threshold, one in the middle, and one right along the front edge of the porch. Decking would go left to right and for the parts with out full support use scrap pieces of 4X4 to position under those rows. An alternative way to set the supports are: under the threshold is left to right full width of porch. Then instead of the others being left to right. Place one on the left going vertical or not left to right. One on the right side going perpendicular to fhe horizontal one. Then you will cut one 4 inches short for the center also placed parallel to the left and right. The front porch edge piece cut to fit the width between the left and right support. That would allow you to place decking horizontally left to right with out worry of adding support for some of the deck strips. The front edge of porch part I feel should be left to right mainly to insure there is no possible way for a ramp to flext or bow in this area. But you are welcome to Google methods on building something like this also. The ramp for the porch will be the longest most likely based on the photos you shared. They are also referenced later in my post. Only around the porch and the outside of the caster wheel guides on each side or the blue color in my image needs a railing, as well as down that first ramp. The other ramps are little more than the plywood laying there. You wouldn't even really need the blue guides on the but they add additional stiffness from bouncing and bending. Again Google is very good for finding examples of how you can design a capable railing. It doesn't need to be fancy, just meet the requirements the ADA sets. To avoid annoying splinters I strongly suggest using iron pipe or proper outdoor rated round railingbars. Benefit of the metal pipe is it is very low cost. Con is in the sun it can get hot. To overcome thar railing grip tape can he used to cancle out the hot part and make it easier to grasp. Grip tape is not required. Thankfully all of this is pretty easy to do if you have some some basic tools or have access to them like narrowing them. If you lack the skill or ability to do this. Trust me when I say buying lunch each day for the hard worker(s) often is payment enough. And Thank You is the perfect payment. Our reward is seeing you enjoying the work put into the project. Last there is an green outline of a 2x4 on each side of the porch staging area. Put one on the far side as well and this should keep the staging area from shifting leftcand right. Surfaces endure a lot more force than we realize. 5th image I used my garage ramp before I corrected the flat staging area issue. So this isn't how my indoor ramp now looks. It has no railings as it is not required and the flat area towards the garage side has a 4 inch tall wheel guard wall to keep me from accidentally rolling off front casters or rear wheels. But, this is roughly how your front porch would look like. All designed to keep everyone safe who uses it. By connecting the ramp to the flat staging areas makes it much harder for it to shift around. In the case of this if you owned the property you would use a contractors grade waterproof glue and 4 8 inch long lag bolts to secure the 4x4 or wood support right next to and under the threshold and bolt it and glue it to the location. Silicone sealant works also as it is mainly to keep insects from making the area home. But since the property needs to be returned to original state, I find that making a saddle staging area works wonders. Sadlle in that it is,like a horse saddle. It isn't bolted to the horse but does use the shape of the horse as the stabilizer. And is easy to remove when needed. Image 6: Sorry about the messy drawing. This is your photo. The green is the railing around the porch and the first longest ramp. The light kind of red horizontal strips are stair tread grip tape. Using wood screws shorter than the thickness of the plywood allows you to have a 2 method way to keep these strips in place. For how much they cost you will thank me. One screw near each corner and two one top one bottom in the center. This insures they are secure. The gue or adhesive isn't likely going to stick in every case. You want full left to right coverage with 2 to 3 inch spacing between each horizontal strip. Yes you can just apply them centered and hope no one slips of they walk closer to the railing. Plus it makes insurance companies feel better also with more safety in mind. In the event someone slips or falls when pictures are taken of l the scene it will look better for you to have provided more safety than not. Also more screws can be used if desired. The only thing to make sure of is all screw heads are flat to the surface. The two method way also known as redundant measures to make sure things don't fail to the point of a catastrophe. The ADA will likely have other suggestions different than I mention. Either will work, I find much of my ideas go beyond ADA requirements. The ramps since they are so minor in slope may even be able to lay strips of 2x4 or even 1x1 that you screw to the underside of ramp. I almost think you could make what would look like a continuous ramp. One step won't really need all 8 ft of plywood however keeping them full length means you could likely add smaller pieces where one ramp ends to meet with the highest point so you can connect them so this keeps them from shifting and moving as they will. The little green marks along the sides of the blue for the length of the ramp represent side supports that are rounded into the ground and screwed to the sides. As you use a ramp that is not secured it will move a little in the opposite direction of your direction of travel. Also it will shift left or right when you first roll onto it. And since the ground shown is easy to return to its original condition once this is removed lowers cost at that time. The blue dots represent horizontal srips placed where needed these are screwed in place as yes they will slide and move into new positions that don't support the ramp. The goal is no bouncing, bending, flexing, warping ramps. As long as all wood is rated for ground contact otherwise it will rot away pretty quickly otherwise. The blue kind of bloody areas are flat sections filled in with plywood. So once you enter this ramp ot remains a plywood surface until the porch area. Where it's decking. 7th image: An example of how your ramp could be designed. In this image since the ramp os longer and rises up higher I definitely would include ratings on each side. But - it may not require them so that is OK also. The redish area is a flat area at least 5 ft deep and 4ft wide. This would allow a person the chance to turn around also. The circled spots denote support placement. Now your steps for me would not need a ramp as I can strong arm my way up short steps or curbs like those. Tha porch would be the only area I would build if this were my place. 8th image: Immediately after moving in I built this and prior to finding the original screen door that the price owners removed and I reinstalled. It was no fun using this ramp when I had to open the door. I typically had one of the kiddos now all grown up open it first for me. The lack of a staging or flat area is a huge mistake. This is ground contact outdoor rated plywood nearly 1 inch thick. Plywood keeps the construction simpler, and removal easier also later. 9th image: Shows the outdoor ramp. Notice the grip tape on this. This is the typical arrangement. I suggest side to side full width strips so able people can walk anyplace and be assured solid footing. The spacing I prefer also assures wheelchair tires have solid grip. The steeper the ramp I say 3 inches between horizontal strips. The shallower ramps for your lower or step ramps can be 4 to five inches between them. If they are wide strips works better. Image 10: This is the ADA recommendation: 36 inches wide. Trust me especially for entry doors you want some space to move over to the side to get out of the way of a screen or storm door. And a place to put down groceries or a package or anything else so you can access the door. 48 inches just happens to be a pretty decent and better than ADA requirements that allows you more room for any purposes. Image 11: Shows your porch. From what I see this should be pretty easy to cover with the staging area over the porch and ramp going down. You want to measure from the front edge ofcthe threshold to the ground in front of the porch the walkway leading to it. This will give you a total height that needs to be accounted for. Say it is a total of 10 inches tall. Your ramp will be 1 foot out per one inch in height. So 10 feet long. Now say you have the room and used 2 8 foot long plywood sheets end to end that is 16 ft. That means your slope will be less overall and easy to roll up. 10 ft will be usable but will be a little harder to roll up. Funny thing is you use the same energy to roll up 10ft or 16ft. You just exert less energy over a longer distance that still equals the amount it takes to go up a 10 foot length. Slope is something only you know what works for you. So if you need a little longer of a ramp if room allows it then that is fine. Oh I forgot skip over the smaller step when making your measurements. That isn't where a ramp will end at to rest. Image 12: The walkway. These little steps are easily rolled up by some wheelchair users. However of you can not. That is fine. The over all length of these looks decently long enough. You in effect are just governing them as I hope I explained. To keep the ramps from moving side spikes can be placed as mentioned 2 at the sides and top, two in the middle sides. And 2 and the bottom sides. They get rounded into the ground next to each area of the Ramos they will be screwed to. You might even be able to lay a plywood sheet down and see if that is enough to raise you up enough. That the plywood could just lay on the walkway. Now most likely that option will not fully work. Offered as an alternative. The very end where ramp ends or starts at the lowest point you can get an aluminum door threshold commercial grade one. It means a little bump up onto the ramp and or down it. I will photograph the one I have as it works like a charm. Also the rest of my garage ramp. The deck to ramp can be connected using lag bolts from underneath into the 2 4x4 support. Using 6 or preferred 7 or 8 inch long lag bolts 3 of them to secure the ramp to the staging deck area. Trust me when I say this, this is a mere drop in the bucket of information on how to design a ramp system. Last little note: Always get a permit prior making anything. The permit should cost nothing or very little since it is an accessibility ♿️ need. The information the permit comes with will also be of huge help in DIY or other options. Sadly there is no way to construct something like this for no cost. However, church groups, friends, local elected officials, and others can be great resources. From fundraising, to helping you locate a foundation or charity to help cover some or all of it. Do not feel bad for asking for help like this and when needed. Being a renter doesn't mean you should not have accessibility. Like I mentioned if I was your fellow disabled neighbor I would help construct this. Tools needed: Tape measure x 2 I always end up needing 2 of them at times. 4 ft level. Carpenter square. Torpedo level. This is a 1 foot long smaller level like the larger 4ft one. Carpenter or construction style pencil ✏️ they are flat and don't roll away when sat down. Wood/deck screws 3 or 4in long. Cordless drill and 2 batteries allows rotation of them when charging. They typically will last 2 or hours each. So when one runs out charge it while using the other. Leather work gloves. Socket wrench set for lag bolts. Screw driver set. Mainly a number 2 Phillips and flathead. These come in handy. Circular saw - they come corded or cordless either works. Hand saw for those cuts to awkward for a power tool. Drill bits for pre drilling holes. Liquid nails to glue some things together. Short wood screws not longer than the plywood is thick. For the grip tape strips. Safety glasses get a few pair. Hearing protection. Cutting wood can be really loud. Same with drilling it and all. Things that could help: Something stable to place wood to be cut on. Saw horses or milk crates the sturdy plastic ones. If they get cut into no big deal. They cut be cut safely on the ground without risk of damaging tools or injuring you. Since we are all in the same boat 🚢 in many respects, I find it sp satisfying helping people by helping them learn how they can also help themselves. It's how I was raised. Knowing you have some information and know where to locate more is my payment. Back to me talking about my live content. A lot like this post and my others, it is insanely boring stuff. 😴 However, I ask what other content creator is willing to discuss and cover this type of stuff? Really go look on Twitch live, YouTube live, TikTok Live, Kick,Instagram Live or any other site allowing live content. How many do you find that can answer questions or get you aimed in the correct direction for the information you need? 16 years now this is what I do for free. I will not and do not monetize my content. I removed myself from Twitch affiliate orogram, I have asked TikTok to allow offboarding and the option to not monetize. I prefer to lead by example. Please consider getting to know this strange goofball of a weirdo on my social media channels. It's not a big community but any means and is well sp unique that most people fail to realize all the nerdy disability related bits of knowledge I have to share. Plus I love light sabers and anime to make me extra geeky. AbiliTV and AbiliTV Live on the main social media platforms. On TikTok my actual username is AbiliTV and my screen or showing name is DJ Wheelchairbeats. If you visit tell me your from Reddit and I will in a very socially awkward way greet you. Well I hope with practice this gets less awkward in time. :) I am not seeking a relationship. Or any side quests. I am at level 54 in my life and to old to give a fart for drama. Making cool new friends, now that's what it's about. Time to get some photos of my garage ramp. |
2024.04.28 23:22 candidtalks F27 that was with a M30 for 7 years, things came crumbling down. Am I being gaslight or am I gaslighting him through the entire relationship? Am I also the one that is the problem or is it him? Long read.
We were together for 7 years. We got engaged after a year of being together. When I became pregnant he insisted that his mom and sister would live with us because that is around the same time he wanted to buy a house for us. Ever since then that was when a lot of problems started to slowly come up. They were both very helpful with taking care of my son, and his mom helped by paying part of the bills. We all contributed in some way. But I was upset. I was really upset that they were living there with us. I wanted it to be a family of just our little family. It was hard and I had to accept that and I did. For him. Problems started happening. His sister wouldn't clean up after herself. I would come home to a dirty house after working 8 hours a day and the only one that helped me was his mom. Not even him. I would be upset that his mom would leave food out all day on top of the stove. Nobody ever cleaned out the fridge. It was always me. I would constantly throw away moldy food. There was just a lot of times where his mom would do little things and it would upset me. I'm sure she felt the same way. There was a time my son was crying and I couldn't get him to settle down and she came running up the stairs to help but I couldn't help but take it as she just wanted to take over. His sister would be doing nails in the house and have random people over. They would come into our basement where she had her nail studio set up. I hated having random people in the home like that. The fumes were horrible and my son was breathing that in. That really upset me. Our relationship was still fine regardless of these issues. We never had an argument about anything regarding this. Most of the times I didn't even tell him I had any problems about it. I kept it bottled inside which was probably my mistake. Later on his sister and mom decided to move out near the end of 2019. It was great. For awhile but then the beginning of 2020, my dad passed away. I got really depressed. Waking up for work was hard. My anxiety was getting worse. I wanted to give up. My ex fiancé barely knew my dad because my dad struggled with addiction and was never around us that much. But, when he passed I held onto so much stuff that happened in the past with him because of his addiction. From my childhood. It hit me so hard about his passing and I just feel like my ex fiancé never noticed that. I felt lonely but I started pushing him away around this time. He would want to cuddle and at times I just couldn't. I didn't even want to be touched. Around the time that COVID hit my mother in law moved back in with us. It was a lot better with her, but then again she decided to move out because she wanted to be on her own. I missed a lot of work during this time so it took a financial toll on my ex fiancé and I. I had to miss for days that my son couldn't go to daycare because of COVID. So I had to stay home with my son. Near the end of 2020 I went on Lexapro for my anxiety/depression. It was helping. When father's day of 2021 came around we went to his sister's house for all of us to hang out. My ex fiancé drinks, and when he's with family he over does it. With friend's too. He doesn't know how to control his drinking. I don't like to drink. I've only been "drunk" 2 times my entire life. I hate it. But, he loves it and it's the only time he can pour out his emotions or communicate which I absolutely hate. He would get so drunk that he would accuse me of cheating and I never understood why because I never did. It would hurt. But, that night of that Father's day weekend. He got so drunk and took Lexapro that his sister gave him, because she's also on the same meds as me. I know Lexapro and drinking can make someone become violent. Well, on the way home from her house he had his hand on the back of my head. My head was almost touching the steering wheel from grabbing my head/hair and it was like he was pushing it forward. My son was in the backseat and I was scared. I stayed calm because I didn't know what he could of been capable of. But I remember he was saying "want me to punch your mom in the jaw." That scared me. I was so scared. When we got to the driveway to pull into the garage. He just kept telling me "tell me you fucking hate me" "tell me you hate me." I never hated him. I loved him. I loved him so much that I tried to forgive him for all of that. But as days went on, I couldn't. I didn't know how to. I tried to keep telling myself "oh, he was only that way because of the Lexapro." I tried to forgive him for years for that. But after that day every time he would drink it would be the same things over again. He wouldn't be as violent, but he would be mean. He did apologize for that violent time, and he tried to stop drinking for awhile but he went back to drinking... again. Even before that incident, he would be out all night and morning drinking. Wouldn't be home until 8AM and I would be up until he got home. Not being able to sleep because I would constantly worry all night long if he was okay, and wondering what he was doing. I think that slowly started the trust issues. When he would be on his XBOX he would be playing games with this girl. I was upset. But I kept letting it go because he told me she was married, had kids, etc. They would be communicating through the headset right in front of me. Then my overthinking wouldn't leave me alone. I would start checking his notifications on his phone. He had all of it on private. Even eventually got a privacy screen. Couldn't even see previewed messages. Never knew his phone passcode, but always knew mine. When we would order food on DoorDash he would never hand me his phone even when I asked if I could put my order in myself. He would hold onto his phone or I would just tell him what I wanted. There was a time that he was drunk and his phone was kept unlocked and that was the only time I was ever able to go through his phone and I saw messages between a coworker of his. That he had trained at work. She sent him pics of her feet on top of a coffee table. But it was ok because she had a boyfriend, right? I can never forget that. My stomach hurt. I was hurt. It was just weird. When I could see his notifications come on his phone. He had a WhatsApp notification with a girls photo. I asked him about it and he told me it was a girl he plays games with and he didn't want her to have his number. So fucking weird. I asked years later about this again and he tells me because he wanted to get ahold of someone in Mexico. But, I felt lied to. I was never shown on his Instagram. Which was odd. He would have the family emoji of just the one where its of a guy and a son. That hurt too. But, he would always be like "oh its just Instagram." But, then why did a part of me always feel like he wanted people on there to think he was a single dad. Only pictures of him and his son, or just of his son. Never of me. I would post on mine of him and my son. I made it aware to people I was taken. It's so dumb but why did that hurt so much? In 2021, I got a PC. I became addicted to it. I would be on it a lot, and I feel like I was on it so much because I resented him for what he did to me. I would look for a way out. He would be upset I would always be on it, but yeah... how does it feel now? When you were always on your XBOX, and days you would go out to drink. How does it fucking feel now? Then, because of my anxiety I had IBS. I missed a lot work because of it because it was getting worse. It was bad. I had FMLA for it. But then, I just couldn't do it anymore. I didn't want to wake up for work anymore. I was tired of constantly using the bathroom at work. I feel like my IBS came from stress. I tried to take time off of work for awhile due to it, but my doctor was changed because my main primary doctor moved out of state. So she wouldn't approve it, and I was already taking days off of work so I ended up just quitting. So he had to pull in more work hours. Which I understand how stressful that can be for him. Our water was getting shut off, our gas got shut off, our garbage wasn't being picked up for months. But it was all my fault, right? We were in the kitchen one day and he told me if I don't get a job then he's kicking me out. Months later, he said that was him just kidding. Because who says that to someone? I'm at home taking care of our son, cleaning, laundry, etc. Idk, I just hurt. Then, when I would be at home and not working there wasn't much to do. So I would be on the computer. I still had stomach issues. But I was also still addicted to my PC. So much so that around the time I quit... I started playing more and more of a variety of games. And I met a random dude and we talked on DISCORD. and flirting. It sounds so dumb now. Putting it out into words. Now, look at me doing what I feared my ex fiancé was doing/did, who knows. I don't know. I never caught him doing anything like that because all of his shit was so locked down. My ex fiancé found out. He read the messages. Forgave me the first time, said we were going to fix things. Nothing ever got fixed. I did it again. Same dude. Got caught again. I can't even tell you why I did that. Did I do it for attention that my ex fiancé lacked? Did I do it because I was just so fucking upset about our whole relationship. Oh, also... he wanted to take our relationship status off of FB months before I did that. He wouldn't tell me he loved me anymore, said he only loved me as the mother of his child. Swore he only slept down in the basement because it was "too hot" upstairs. All of that shit fucking hurt. Why does he think I did what I did? I'm not trying to justify what I did. Because the amount of regret I have is huge. I can't sleep at night because of what I did. I hate myself for it. I learned from my mistakes. I did the one thing I hated people doing. I became my own enemy. Now, because of what I did I ruined my family. Him and I are no longer together. Oh, but we would still sleep together. Guess who came back into the bed after I did what I did? Him. It took me doing that to have that back. And the time I quit my job he wasn't paying on the house. So now the house is in so much fucking debt. 30k. He's in the process of going to court, and months prior he told me if he lost the house we would get an apartment together... and now that he's going to court to "save" the house, randomly out of nowhere he just had the thought a week ago that he is going to get what he owes on it and then just sell the house and we can go our separate ways. He said he needs to worry about his own happiness and I need to do the same. He says maybe we will be together again in the future but i'm so stuck. I'm stuck because I forgave him for all that he has done to me. The hurt. and I do 2 things and the whole world just crumbles down on me. In my heart I know that when this time comes, I know he won't ever want to be with me again and I feel like I can't live past that. There were other things I didn't mention above but at times when he wanted his dick sucked he would tell me "i'll have someone else do it" "i'll have one of your friends do it" while we were together. That hurt. I tried to tell him on Sunday my feelings about everything and he just sat there and laughed. He told me because of what I did he isn't hurt by it anymore and that he forgives me. I can't help but think he's already moved on and talking to somebody else. He swears he isn't. He swears he's only focused on working. But, why do I have such a hard time believing that? When this conversation came up, and I told him if I were to work a M-F job, 1st or 2nd shift then he might need to change his schedule around. Because he works F-Sun. 12hr days. 7am to 7pm. I told him if we are separated then we need to have our son every other weekend. But, he refuses to do that. He told me no he is not changing his schedule at all. I want it to be fair for our son. So he can get weekends with each of us every other weekend. He got mad about this because he said he sacrificed so much to go onto his weekend shift, and that I only ever want what I want and not what he wants. He also said that co-parenting is so easy between us, and I told him yes, because we live together right now. Of course its easy. You know i'm already at home so I can easily be here with our son. I know majority of it is because he wants to go out when he can. Do we really need time apart from each other? Is it because we been around each other so much that we are both just hurting each other? Do you think if we go our own separate ways then eventually we will come to realize what we need to do for each other and how to fix things? Or should I just be done for good? His own mom told me that once i'm out I probably won't even want to go back with him.
submitted by candidtalks to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2024.04.28 23:15 redgradient Tofu60 2.0 Build and Mods
 | Figured I would outline some of the mods and problems I ran into building my Tofu60 2.0. I had a hard time getting this board to feel and sound good, and also ran into a PCB firmware issues, so hopefully someone finds some of this info useful. submitted by redgradient to MechanicalKeyboards [link] [comments] This build is an HHKB Tofu60 2.0, with hand lubed Durock POM switches, mixed sets of PBTfans WOB & GMK Chaos Theory caps. I'm using the standard 1.2mm flexcut hotswap PCB that comes with the build kit for this board, and the polycarbonate plate. The only actual issue I ran into was that the keyboard wouldn't work after waking from sleep until I unplugged and plugged back in. This was fixed by simply re-flashing with software from the Tofu60 2.0 page on KBDfans website. The rest of my 'issues' were really preference based, but I will outline them and the mods I did to correct them. Sound Corrections - Case and Stabs I did some (slightly excessive, see pics) force break mods with painters tape, and also went so far as to add painters tape to the inside of the top case surfaces to reduce any metal to metal contact between the sides of top and bottom. I did all of this before assembling so I can't say for sure how it affected the board, but I can confirm I have no case ping with a no foam build after doing this. I did standard stab work to lube and syringe inject housings, but included one more mod I don't hear about a lot, that has made a SIGNIFICANT improvement in my stabs on all of my boards. If you take a cloth band-aid and cut it in half on the pad, then take the adhesive part of each half and cut it, leaving enough sticky part left to stick to your pcb, you can place the pad under your stab wire (see picture for example, sorry for the bad pic quality). For the smaller stabs, just use as much band-aid width as you need to get a pad under the center of the stab wire, and for the spacebar use two pads and place them closer to the stab housings. This will lift the stab wire and make it a more even height on both ends of the wire, while getting rid of any small wiggle room the wire had where it punches in to the stab housing. This seems to very slightly soften/quiet the sound of your keypress on stabilized keys, and has gotten rid of tick for me on two separate instances. Sound and Feel Corrections - Plate, PCB, and Foam I initially built this board with a carbon fiber flex cut plate. That combined with the thinner flex cut PCB were enough to make the board sound horribly thin and almost boomy? (not sure exactly how to describe it but the sound was not crisp and sounded almost messy/muddled/not clear). I 'm open to some flex, but the way this plate was making the board flex really bothered me for some reason, and was taking a lot away from the solid bottom out feel of the long pole switches. With that in mind, I taped over the flex cuts on the PCB, and ordered a polycarbonate plate to put on (it was the only plate offered with this board that didn't have flex cuts). I mounted the polycarbonate plate with the sock/gasket mount method, and while this was a huge improvement in both sound and feel, there was still one issue - plate vibration. Anyone who has built this board might note that the gasket/sock mount uses firm rubber knobs sandwiching the PCB between top and bottom case, rather than foam strips like some gaskets, so the mounting points have a very solid/firm contact point, making the plate more likely to give/flex than the gaskets themselves. The polycarbonate plate was 'vibrating' after each keystroke (picture a trampolines vibrations at the last second before it goes taut/still again after jumping). To fix this, I tried a softer bowl mount option to give the mounting points more cushion. Having something soft to sit on would theoretically allow for a little give that hopefully wouldn't allow the plate to start vibrating in the first place. This did help, and after a small sound adjustment by adding foam between pcb and plate, I thought I was done with this build. However, after living with the board for a day, the vibration was still bothering me. The last fix I could think of was to insert case foam for the pcb to rest on, knowing that if the foam was thick enough that the pcb pressed into it, the plate/pcb combo could not give downwards and would stop vibrating. This fixed the vibration, but completely changed the sound I had come to love, so I decided on a hybrid approach (see photos). By only placing foam on the edges and in the middle of the case, this gave the pcb a backstop and completely got rid of the trampoline effect. I initially had four vertical foam strips, evenly spaced in the case, but this made the board sound like the entire bottom was layered with foam. By taking out the two middle vertical foam strips, and placing one horizontal piece in the middle, this opened up the case more and gave an interesting sound somewhere in between having case foam and no case foam. I haven't tried this foam layout in any other boards, but I love the way it changed the sound, and will definitely be giving it a try in all my future builds. https://preview.redd.it/8s615y4pdaxc1.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=67bc00949af4980d9d43b35722544503d5ebe77b https://preview.redd.it/idprnu4pdaxc1.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b5b0fb06afb41ff99673a57011555c49e7c346d6 https://preview.redd.it/esb4g25pdaxc1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7eb240aa6f820de575f3bd0485ec0d98f6dc128b https://preview.redd.it/0idwu35pdaxc1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef44541d914e2ad8d284b8adaa0935af69434937 https://preview.redd.it/xdqdh55pdaxc1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2baa7b7cfbd796ea3f53e07192fe89696744119f https://preview.redd.it/2kifkt4pdaxc1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=466b98ce0ca5de5bbdcd11a7fe767b084379e7d8 https://preview.redd.it/igcco45pdaxc1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1453854bafc5cbca08f24df97d8cef8dfaaec3e7 |
2024.04.28 23:03 StrikingTale370 Brother's Second Marriage or Nightmare same diff
When my brother J, met H, he seemed happy and accepted the dumpster fire that came with it. She was an RN (this is important at the end)and had three kids, one was, 4 at the time. I was happy because my brother was happy. We were close at the time, so I just went along with it.
Less than a year they were engaged and planning a wedding on Valentine's Day. 🤢🤮
So while helping with wedding planning (I was hoping to be a bridesmaid, nope...) she would go into details about her and my brother's sex life and even bragging about the size of my brother's 🥒 (🤮🤢💀). In that same time she proceeded to say that my college boyfriend would never marry me because I wasn't worth marrying. Let's just say my dislike started to grow with H.
H & J approached me about taking their wedding photos, since I was a decent photographer. And I said yes, because he was my brother and I would do anything for him.
I spoke with my photographer friends who had done wedding photos. They helped me write up a contract to present to my H. Before I handed this contract to her, I showed my mom and asked if it was completely reasonable. Mom agreed it was.
Went to lunch with H and showed her the contract and how much the photos, video of the ceremony and digital photos & time would cost. I was cutting her a bargain family discount at $500. She was so angry that at first she refused to sign, and I told her if she didn't, I wouldn't do it. She begrudgingly signed the terms of the contact.
I found out from over hearing my mom's phone conversation with my brother that H was pissed off, like through the roof mad. She was so mad that she demanded one of my brother's friend's husband buy an expensive camera and take photos even though he was a groomsman.
I kept my part of the bargain. I did my very best and gave her what she wanted. When she was getting ready she was dictating to everyone who should do what like a...dick tater...
Their wedding ceremony was 5 minutes flat. Quickest one I've ever been too in all my life. Then the chaos continued...
Taking group photos were a flaming hot dumpster fire! Everyone was talking over each other not shutting up for 20 seconds. People made funny faces, etc...the group picture I presented her was one I had to make myself with pieces of 10 different picture. When that part of the train wreck was over, we all headed to the reception.
This is where the fun and games start folks! It was set in a bapub that my brother worked as a bouncer on the weekends. Drinks were flowing hard for the bride and her family. All while my family enjoyed the meal sans alcohol.
There was a bad winter storm and a lot of guest proceed to leave early. Most of them were my brother's coworkers who plowed the major roads and interstate in the area. H didn't particularly care as they weren't apart of her group.
My parents, my college boyfriend & I stayed a little longer because it was my brother's (second) wedding. It wasn't too long after the H was so drunk she got up on the stripper pole in the dance hall area and started to act like a stripper and pole dancing. You can understand why my patents, CBF, & I left.
On the way home my mother informed me that she was paying for their wedding photos since H was refusing to. That was told to my brother and he was grateful for the gesture.
I managed to edit all the photos and videos in a week or two. I wanted to meet with her to discuss which ones she wanted printed.
She just wanted everything NOW. I got a USB Drive and loaded them to it. Since H was acting like a snotty bitch about it, I left my watermark on the pictures. She tried to get them printed at Staples, and they refused because of the watermark. (Note: I would have the ones she liked printed for her, but noooooooo)
Oh yeah, and those pictures that my brother's friend's husband did? Were not high quality. Colors were off most of them very dark. You could tell someone who had an expensive camera but didn't know shit about photography took them.
And the one she shared on Facebook? Her dancing on the pole in her wedding gown...
Needless to say that destroyed my relationship with my brother, they divorced 2 years later. He discovered what a whack job she was.
Total Dede Blanchard type crazy with her daughters "medical needs." Mauthausen by Proxy type shit.
As soon as they moved out, my brother parked his motor cycle in the house, took a picture and uploaded it Facebook to announce his divorce.
Luckily my Brother is marrying a woman that he should have always been with. But our relationship is still strained after all these years because of the Psycho RN.
submitted by StrikingTale370 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
Less than a year they were engaged and planning a wedding on Valentine's Day. 🤢🤮
So while helping with wedding planning (I was hoping to be a bridesmaid, nope...) she would go into details about her and my brother's sex life and even bragging about the size of my brother's 🥒 (🤮🤢💀). In that same time she proceeded to say that my college boyfriend would never marry me because I wasn't worth marrying. Let's just say my dislike started to grow with H.
H & J approached me about taking their wedding photos, since I was a decent photographer. And I said yes, because he was my brother and I would do anything for him.
I spoke with my photographer friends who had done wedding photos. They helped me write up a contract to present to my H. Before I handed this contract to her, I showed my mom and asked if it was completely reasonable. Mom agreed it was.
Went to lunch with H and showed her the contract and how much the photos, video of the ceremony and digital photos & time would cost. I was cutting her a bargain family discount at $500. She was so angry that at first she refused to sign, and I told her if she didn't, I wouldn't do it. She begrudgingly signed the terms of the contact.
I found out from over hearing my mom's phone conversation with my brother that H was pissed off, like through the roof mad. She was so mad that she demanded one of my brother's friend's husband buy an expensive camera and take photos even though he was a groomsman.
I kept my part of the bargain. I did my very best and gave her what she wanted. When she was getting ready she was dictating to everyone who should do what like a...dick tater...
Their wedding ceremony was 5 minutes flat. Quickest one I've ever been too in all my life. Then the chaos continued...
Taking group photos were a flaming hot dumpster fire! Everyone was talking over each other not shutting up for 20 seconds. People made funny faces, etc...the group picture I presented her was one I had to make myself with pieces of 10 different picture. When that part of the train wreck was over, we all headed to the reception.
This is where the fun and games start folks! It was set in a bapub that my brother worked as a bouncer on the weekends. Drinks were flowing hard for the bride and her family. All while my family enjoyed the meal sans alcohol.
There was a bad winter storm and a lot of guest proceed to leave early. Most of them were my brother's coworkers who plowed the major roads and interstate in the area. H didn't particularly care as they weren't apart of her group.
My parents, my college boyfriend & I stayed a little longer because it was my brother's (second) wedding. It wasn't too long after the H was so drunk she got up on the stripper pole in the dance hall area and started to act like a stripper and pole dancing. You can understand why my patents, CBF, & I left.
On the way home my mother informed me that she was paying for their wedding photos since H was refusing to. That was told to my brother and he was grateful for the gesture.
I managed to edit all the photos and videos in a week or two. I wanted to meet with her to discuss which ones she wanted printed.
She just wanted everything NOW. I got a USB Drive and loaded them to it. Since H was acting like a snotty bitch about it, I left my watermark on the pictures. She tried to get them printed at Staples, and they refused because of the watermark. (Note: I would have the ones she liked printed for her, but noooooooo)
Oh yeah, and those pictures that my brother's friend's husband did? Were not high quality. Colors were off most of them very dark. You could tell someone who had an expensive camera but didn't know shit about photography took them.
And the one she shared on Facebook? Her dancing on the pole in her wedding gown...
Needless to say that destroyed my relationship with my brother, they divorced 2 years later. He discovered what a whack job she was.
Total Dede Blanchard type crazy with her daughters "medical needs." Mauthausen by Proxy type shit.
As soon as they moved out, my brother parked his motor cycle in the house, took a picture and uploaded it Facebook to announce his divorce.
Luckily my Brother is marrying a woman that he should have always been with. But our relationship is still strained after all these years because of the Psycho RN.
2024.04.28 22:40 AlpineSK Trip Report: A Quick Makeup Trip!
After a disaster of a trip back in February complete with family drama, the flu, and a trip to Advent Celebration’s Pediatric Emergency Room via ambulance, booking a quick “redo” for my wife, my 16-month-old son, and I was an easy thing to do. We went during the second week of April, which ended up being perfect, for a quick three-day visit.
Really, with one exception our cast member interactions were incredibly positive. I’m not going to go into the negative one because it was such a fantastic trip. My wife had tokens made up that we gave out to some cast members who were particularly over the top friendly and accommodating and everyone was very appreciative of that.
Happy Limo – Our car service of choice when we go to Disney is Happy Limousine. They’re affordable, friendly, and they provide car seats so its one less thing that you must travel with. Since our son is a lap child, we were able to do this trip with 100% carry-on. No checked baggage!
Scooterbug – For a stroller we used Scooterbug. When we got to Pop Century we just went to Bell Services and there it was waiting for us. Once we were ready to leave we just dropped it off on our way to our ride to the airport. I think for the three days it cost us about $70.
Pop Century – Our resort of choice this time around was Pop Century. It was affordable and its right on the Skyliner route which is our favorite way to travel. My wife is an amateur pin trader and she put up a nice display on our door with pins to trade and posted it on a Pop Century group on Facebook. It got A LOT of traffic and we saw a lot of pins traded. I’m not sure if anyone here got a chance to take advantage of it in the short time the post was up on this sub but if you did I hope you got something you like!
This is our second time at Pop Century and in my opinion the Skyliner is an absolute game changer for this resort. There’s really no better way to get around the Disney Parks. The best thing that they could do, in my opinion, would be to extend it to the front entrance of EPCOT so you could get to the Monorail. That would make three of the four parks accessible by something other than bus from that side of the resorts.
Day 1: EPCOT! – After we got in at 11am we went and got settled at the resort and took the Skyliner over to Epcot. It was a beautiful day of about 70 degrees. We grazed on some festival food, got some character pictures in, and went on a couple of age-appropriate rides for our little guy. He was ready to call it a day by about 5pm so we called it, got some dinner back at Pop Century and spent an early evening in our room watching Bluey.
Day 2 (breakfast): Topolino’s Terrace – Again: the Skyliner gave us a quick ride over to The Riviera to a spot that my wife has wanted to do since it opened. The character meal here is awesome. You get a lot of face time with Mickey, Minnie, Donald, and Daisey. Also, their coffee was on point, a must for me in the mornings. The food was good, but unless you get the steak and eggs I think the price is a little steep but you’re paying for more than the food, obviously.
Day 2 (park): Magic Kingdom – When we were there in February my son spiked his 102 degree fever during the morning that we were at MK so we lost that day, lost a family photo shoot, and lost the chance for him to get his first haircut at the park so we wanted to recreate that. Again: the crowds were light. We were able to do Pirates twice, Haunted Mansion (he loved the stretching room), It’s a Small World, Peter Pan (Lightning Lane), Winnie the Pooh, and Monster’s Inc Laugh Floor (a family favorite). The main event though was scheduled for 1pm…
To try and fully make up for February’s busted trip we had my son’s first haircut scheduled for 1pm at the Harmony Barber Shop and let me just say, they blew our expectations out of the water. Doug, our barber, was so incredibly patient with our son who was calm and enjoying his bubbles but of course not able to hold still etc. He got an awesome haircut, a certificate for his first haircut, and an old school Mickey Mouse Club style hat.
After that we got some pictures with Mickey on Main St (again, Lightning Lane), and walked around a little more, took advantages of photographers, and did a few of the above listed rides before dinner. Side note: the family in front of us for Mickey pictures had an older son with autism, I know because he was wearing an autism awareness shirt. We were so impressed with how accommodating and patient that the cast members were with him. It was very heartwarming to watch and you could tell that the family and their son REALLY appreciated it.
Day 2 (dinner) Tony’s Town Square Restaurant – Back in 2018 we did Tony’s for dinner and were kind of overwhelmed. We’d seen a lot of positive reviews and additions to the place, so we decided to try it again and it was worth it. We got garlic bread (topped with cheese), and the foot long mozzarella sticks with one of the greatest cheese pulls that I’ve ever seen as appetizers. Beyond that it was pretty simple, basic Italian fare. It was nothing incredibly special, but it was a nice way to finish the day. We did an early 4:15 dinner, and my son promptly melted down and fell asleep, so that was our cue to call it a night.
Quick note on my son: he is a great napper as long as he’s home. When we have him out he doesn’t want to miss a thing. He was engrossed in the trip and an absolute trooper both days.
Day 3 (breakfast) Cape May Café – This is my favorite breakfast on property. Unfortunately, we were at the ER back in February when our family had it scheduled. We both had delicious food and my son devoured his breakfast.
From there it was back to the resort to gather up our stuff, drop our stroller off at Bell Services which, again, was painless, and then we were off to the airport.
Wrap-up – This was an intense trip for us but we kind of agreed that at his age we would have needed a Resort Day to do anything more than what we did. The week that we were there was the week after traditional Spring Breaks were done. In all of the trips to Disney that my wife and I have taken we have never seen the crowds so reasonable. Wait times were low, transportation usage was sparce, and the weather could not have been more perfect. I think the high temperature was somewhere around 78 and I think for the first time we didn’t see a drop of rain.
Welp, that’s our trip. If anyone has any questions feel free to fire away!
submitted by AlpineSK to WaltDisneyWorld [link] [comments]
Really, with one exception our cast member interactions were incredibly positive. I’m not going to go into the negative one because it was such a fantastic trip. My wife had tokens made up that we gave out to some cast members who were particularly over the top friendly and accommodating and everyone was very appreciative of that.
Happy Limo – Our car service of choice when we go to Disney is Happy Limousine. They’re affordable, friendly, and they provide car seats so its one less thing that you must travel with. Since our son is a lap child, we were able to do this trip with 100% carry-on. No checked baggage!
Scooterbug – For a stroller we used Scooterbug. When we got to Pop Century we just went to Bell Services and there it was waiting for us. Once we were ready to leave we just dropped it off on our way to our ride to the airport. I think for the three days it cost us about $70.
Pop Century – Our resort of choice this time around was Pop Century. It was affordable and its right on the Skyliner route which is our favorite way to travel. My wife is an amateur pin trader and she put up a nice display on our door with pins to trade and posted it on a Pop Century group on Facebook. It got A LOT of traffic and we saw a lot of pins traded. I’m not sure if anyone here got a chance to take advantage of it in the short time the post was up on this sub but if you did I hope you got something you like!
This is our second time at Pop Century and in my opinion the Skyliner is an absolute game changer for this resort. There’s really no better way to get around the Disney Parks. The best thing that they could do, in my opinion, would be to extend it to the front entrance of EPCOT so you could get to the Monorail. That would make three of the four parks accessible by something other than bus from that side of the resorts.
Day 1: EPCOT! – After we got in at 11am we went and got settled at the resort and took the Skyliner over to Epcot. It was a beautiful day of about 70 degrees. We grazed on some festival food, got some character pictures in, and went on a couple of age-appropriate rides for our little guy. He was ready to call it a day by about 5pm so we called it, got some dinner back at Pop Century and spent an early evening in our room watching Bluey.
Day 2 (breakfast): Topolino’s Terrace – Again: the Skyliner gave us a quick ride over to The Riviera to a spot that my wife has wanted to do since it opened. The character meal here is awesome. You get a lot of face time with Mickey, Minnie, Donald, and Daisey. Also, their coffee was on point, a must for me in the mornings. The food was good, but unless you get the steak and eggs I think the price is a little steep but you’re paying for more than the food, obviously.
Day 2 (park): Magic Kingdom – When we were there in February my son spiked his 102 degree fever during the morning that we were at MK so we lost that day, lost a family photo shoot, and lost the chance for him to get his first haircut at the park so we wanted to recreate that. Again: the crowds were light. We were able to do Pirates twice, Haunted Mansion (he loved the stretching room), It’s a Small World, Peter Pan (Lightning Lane), Winnie the Pooh, and Monster’s Inc Laugh Floor (a family favorite). The main event though was scheduled for 1pm…
To try and fully make up for February’s busted trip we had my son’s first haircut scheduled for 1pm at the Harmony Barber Shop and let me just say, they blew our expectations out of the water. Doug, our barber, was so incredibly patient with our son who was calm and enjoying his bubbles but of course not able to hold still etc. He got an awesome haircut, a certificate for his first haircut, and an old school Mickey Mouse Club style hat.
After that we got some pictures with Mickey on Main St (again, Lightning Lane), and walked around a little more, took advantages of photographers, and did a few of the above listed rides before dinner. Side note: the family in front of us for Mickey pictures had an older son with autism, I know because he was wearing an autism awareness shirt. We were so impressed with how accommodating and patient that the cast members were with him. It was very heartwarming to watch and you could tell that the family and their son REALLY appreciated it.
Day 2 (dinner) Tony’s Town Square Restaurant – Back in 2018 we did Tony’s for dinner and were kind of overwhelmed. We’d seen a lot of positive reviews and additions to the place, so we decided to try it again and it was worth it. We got garlic bread (topped with cheese), and the foot long mozzarella sticks with one of the greatest cheese pulls that I’ve ever seen as appetizers. Beyond that it was pretty simple, basic Italian fare. It was nothing incredibly special, but it was a nice way to finish the day. We did an early 4:15 dinner, and my son promptly melted down and fell asleep, so that was our cue to call it a night.
Quick note on my son: he is a great napper as long as he’s home. When we have him out he doesn’t want to miss a thing. He was engrossed in the trip and an absolute trooper both days.
Day 3 (breakfast) Cape May Café – This is my favorite breakfast on property. Unfortunately, we were at the ER back in February when our family had it scheduled. We both had delicious food and my son devoured his breakfast.
From there it was back to the resort to gather up our stuff, drop our stroller off at Bell Services which, again, was painless, and then we were off to the airport.
Wrap-up – This was an intense trip for us but we kind of agreed that at his age we would have needed a Resort Day to do anything more than what we did. The week that we were there was the week after traditional Spring Breaks were done. In all of the trips to Disney that my wife and I have taken we have never seen the crowds so reasonable. Wait times were low, transportation usage was sparce, and the weather could not have been more perfect. I think the high temperature was somewhere around 78 and I think for the first time we didn’t see a drop of rain.
Welp, that’s our trip. If anyone has any questions feel free to fire away!
2024.04.28 22:35 OlaHaldor Considering medium format for the first time
I currently own two Olympus E-M1 II bodies with their Pro range wide and tele photo zoom lenses. I've had APS-C DSLR before getting the Olympus. They are nice cameras, but I feel a bit underwhelmed by how poorly they handle less than optimal light conditions, how fast the photos become noisy.
I've also always loved the 'creamy' DOF and separation I see some get with full frame, and now that I learned medium format is within range price wise with GFX, I am tempted to check if it's for me.
I've come to learn there are three GFX bodies available today. 100S, 100 II and 50S II. I first thought the 50S II would be a good segway; not too expensive, available as a kit with lens for a reasonable price -- but just as I was about to click the order button I learned the AF on 50S II is slower, more clunky, does not always do well.
What would you do? Would you still consider the 50S II with kit lens as an entry to medium format, or go all the way with the 100S/100 II?
Stock is very low for the 100S, I see in the shops in my country has 1 or 2 per store. 100 II is in stock everywhere it seems, but it's also nearly double the price vs. 100S here.
So why not full frame? Comparing prices to Canon and Sony there is very little difference, and I'd like to try someting new.
I'm not a professional photographer. This is my hobby and a chance to take a break from everyday life, get some fresh air and relax. I shoot mostly portraits (or my friends weddings, or other happenings in their lives), and would love to do more landscape eventually.
Given the very steep prices compared to MFT lenses, I wonder if zoom lenses would be the better bang for the buck. Correct me if I'm wrong. These are the lenses I'm curious about. - GF 35-70 (seems to be a nice entry point price) - GF 100-200
Do any of you have experience with MFT and medium format? GFX 100S and the lenses mentioned?
submitted by OlaHaldor to fujifilm [link] [comments]
I've also always loved the 'creamy' DOF and separation I see some get with full frame, and now that I learned medium format is within range price wise with GFX, I am tempted to check if it's for me.
I've come to learn there are three GFX bodies available today. 100S, 100 II and 50S II. I first thought the 50S II would be a good segway; not too expensive, available as a kit with lens for a reasonable price -- but just as I was about to click the order button I learned the AF on 50S II is slower, more clunky, does not always do well.
What would you do? Would you still consider the 50S II with kit lens as an entry to medium format, or go all the way with the 100S/100 II?
Stock is very low for the 100S, I see in the shops in my country has 1 or 2 per store. 100 II is in stock everywhere it seems, but it's also nearly double the price vs. 100S here.
So why not full frame? Comparing prices to Canon and Sony there is very little difference, and I'd like to try someting new.
I'm not a professional photographer. This is my hobby and a chance to take a break from everyday life, get some fresh air and relax. I shoot mostly portraits (or my friends weddings, or other happenings in their lives), and would love to do more landscape eventually.
Given the very steep prices compared to MFT lenses, I wonder if zoom lenses would be the better bang for the buck. Correct me if I'm wrong. These are the lenses I'm curious about. - GF 35-70 (seems to be a nice entry point price) - GF 100-200
Do any of you have experience with MFT and medium format? GFX 100S and the lenses mentioned?
2024.04.28 22:22 Smart_Ant_1607 AITAH for refusing to pay ex my for medical expenses after he never paid me?
Hello Charlotte I have watched you for awhile and I have been struggling if I am in the right or wrong with my story.
its a bit long and I apologize but it requires a lot of background so that you can understand the entire situation. Also please excuse If my grammar is bad. FL am I right?)
So the background, I (32f) has a 12 year old son who has extreme behavior problems since he was 3. His father (35) was always a deadbeat I never really noticed since I was young and "in love" we dated for 4 years by the time I got pregnant and I was scared I told him I didn't want a kid and that I was way too young (19) his only response was "you can do what you want but if you get an abortion I will leave you" being 19 and "in love" I didn't want to loose him so I went through with it. while I was 5 month pregnant I found out he cheated on me and gas lite me saying "it was my fault I cheated" once I had the baby he was never really around I took care of our son alone (with help from my mom, aunt, and my best friend) but my ex only showed up once or twice the first 3 weeks for maybe an hour at a time. I had a C-section and without his help my cut didn't heal correctly due to having to take care of a new born alone. He convinced me to move out of my dads house with the baby to move 4 hour away in another city and I was told we would only have 2 other roommates since we couldn't afford it alone, which I was ok with hoping that living with the baby and I he would step up.. SURPRISE he didn't he and his friends were constantly going out to the movies and hanging out and I was left alone with the baby..by the time I decided I wasn't happy we had 5 people living in this 3 bedroom townhome so when my ex went to take a nap I gathered my things and the baby and drove the 4 hour south back to my dad (I was so scared to tell him because last time I did he took our son and refused to give him back until I agreed to stay). I'm gonna fast forward a bit because this abusive relationship just got worse and worse and I don't really want to go through it again. when Our son was 3 my ex went to jail for selling guns illegally. at the point our son started to get behavioral issues which my father and I got him therapy thinking it was related to his father just disappearing. Nothing helped and he got worse and worse. I got married and had another son with my husband and we moved 2.5 hours north to get away from my ex since he was getting out of jail and I was scared of him and what he might do to my husband or me. My older son got worse to the point where he was beating up my youngest son to the point my little one would flinch when he walked by, my cats wouldn't leave my room until my oldest went to bed, he went through a window at school, throwing desks with intent to hurt others. we at this point got him so much testing, therapy, psychologist (which my father helped pay since it wasn't covered and it was costly) so many different medicines and NOTHING was working he was getting worse...My father passed right before covid and I was struggling getting through so my ex called and said "I know you are struggling let me take our son for the lock down so you can get through and heal" so I agreed since i wanted nothing more then for our son to be a part of his fathers life.. Huge mistake he refused to give him his meds because (i was just drugging him) and dropped all the work on his grandmother, he would leave to work before our son woke up and return after he went to bed.. his grandma would call me about a month or two later crying saying "you need to get him please I'm disappointed in how hes treating his son and I raised him better.." so I met her the next day half way and apologized and that I didn't know he wasn't around (he also claimed him on taxes illegally since our custody agreement says I get to claim him). Then once I get him back things got even worse my oldest was stealing knives and hiding them under his pillow, taking the cats and stuffing them into things and squeezing them, he left the front door open and convinced my youngest to walk outside while I ran to the bathroom and he disappeared for 15 minutes I had to call 911 (my son admitted he did it on purpose a few days later) he took something the wasn't replaceable that was my dad and completely ruined it and I was devastated I called my ex his father crying "please help me I cant handle this with him alone anymore please.." at this point my stress was pretty high I had chest pains and I barely ate and didn't sleep a lot I was in constant iep meetings, therapist offices, Psychologist appointments. my ex took our son and moved to Colorado for about 4 months and called me saying he cant handle him anymore he's a psycho and he needs him gone. Of course I took him back and he flew in Jan 4th those next few months were the worst few months he was baker acted 3 times in 4 months...once directly from school in cuffs since he threatened to kill the officers. He set fire in his room and thankfully I smelled the smoke before it burned down my house, we got another therapist through the baker act and we saw her once a week where she told me "if he doesn't get help he will be the next Jeffery Dahmer or the next school shooter" I cried and said "I have been scared of him for years but I cant get him help, nothing is working" I was told they would be getting him into a long term treatment due to his extreme anger but I couldn't hold out another 6 to 12 months I was so scared for myself and my son and my cats and my husband at this point I slept maybe an hour that entire week, my chest was in constant pain, I barely ate anything and I was so stressed and tired I took some pills in hopes to get sleep to get the stress to go away (I regret it and I wasn't trying to die I just wanted peace even if just an hour) regardless it almost killed me I was in the hospital for a week to where I talked to doctors and phycologists which they told me "get away from your son. If you continue doing this you will die and its time his father step up"
I'm sorry the background was so long but I felt it was important because I raised my son practically alone for 11 years. I paid every expense alone (besides when my dad offered to help) I never received any child support (even though it was court ordered 7 years ago) I would ask my ex for some money to buy our son clothing and I was ignored...he never sent a Christmas or birthday card or gifts or anything in all these years.. thousands of dollars in medical bills alone and idc about the money I just wanted our son to be happy and healthy.. now my ex who is raising our son he now texts me and threatens me "if you don't pay me 350$ a month then ill get you arrested" I keep telling him "1 I don't have 350$ laying around and 2 why should I have to pay you when you haven't paid me in 11 years?" the way I see it is its a two way street not one...why is it okay for my dad and I to pay THOUSANDS and he never pays but now that the shoes on the other foot he expects me to pay him? My ex is also demanding that "If I can't pay then make my husband pay.." So I should pay him? I feel I have paid my part towards our son and now its his turn to pay his part. I still plan to be a part of my sons life I talk to him on the phone whenever his father lets him call me I send him a card for his birthday, Christmas, thanksgiving, and Halloween with photos. I send a text to his father once a week saying "Tell our son I love him and he's welcome to call whenever" now that he moved back to our state (about 2.5 hours away) I plan to try and drive down once a month to see him (its just hard since I still have my youngest and I'm currently pregnant) I love my oldest son. I know he has some severe issues but I love my oldest son I believe he has the ability to be a sweet kind boy he's just struggling and it breaks my heart. I feel as if I failed him since I couldn't get him the correct help but I tried so hard. My family thinks I did the right thing giving my son to his father and also feel I don't owe him any money. So I guess AITA for refusing to pay my ex for my oldest medical bills?
submitted by Smart_Ant_1607 to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
its a bit long and I apologize but it requires a lot of background so that you can understand the entire situation. Also please excuse If my grammar is bad. FL am I right?)
So the background, I (32f) has a 12 year old son who has extreme behavior problems since he was 3. His father (35) was always a deadbeat I never really noticed since I was young and "in love" we dated for 4 years by the time I got pregnant and I was scared I told him I didn't want a kid and that I was way too young (19) his only response was "you can do what you want but if you get an abortion I will leave you" being 19 and "in love" I didn't want to loose him so I went through with it. while I was 5 month pregnant I found out he cheated on me and gas lite me saying "it was my fault I cheated" once I had the baby he was never really around I took care of our son alone (with help from my mom, aunt, and my best friend) but my ex only showed up once or twice the first 3 weeks for maybe an hour at a time. I had a C-section and without his help my cut didn't heal correctly due to having to take care of a new born alone. He convinced me to move out of my dads house with the baby to move 4 hour away in another city and I was told we would only have 2 other roommates since we couldn't afford it alone, which I was ok with hoping that living with the baby and I he would step up.. SURPRISE he didn't he and his friends were constantly going out to the movies and hanging out and I was left alone with the baby..by the time I decided I wasn't happy we had 5 people living in this 3 bedroom townhome so when my ex went to take a nap I gathered my things and the baby and drove the 4 hour south back to my dad (I was so scared to tell him because last time I did he took our son and refused to give him back until I agreed to stay). I'm gonna fast forward a bit because this abusive relationship just got worse and worse and I don't really want to go through it again. when Our son was 3 my ex went to jail for selling guns illegally. at the point our son started to get behavioral issues which my father and I got him therapy thinking it was related to his father just disappearing. Nothing helped and he got worse and worse. I got married and had another son with my husband and we moved 2.5 hours north to get away from my ex since he was getting out of jail and I was scared of him and what he might do to my husband or me. My older son got worse to the point where he was beating up my youngest son to the point my little one would flinch when he walked by, my cats wouldn't leave my room until my oldest went to bed, he went through a window at school, throwing desks with intent to hurt others. we at this point got him so much testing, therapy, psychologist (which my father helped pay since it wasn't covered and it was costly) so many different medicines and NOTHING was working he was getting worse...My father passed right before covid and I was struggling getting through so my ex called and said "I know you are struggling let me take our son for the lock down so you can get through and heal" so I agreed since i wanted nothing more then for our son to be a part of his fathers life.. Huge mistake he refused to give him his meds because (i was just drugging him) and dropped all the work on his grandmother, he would leave to work before our son woke up and return after he went to bed.. his grandma would call me about a month or two later crying saying "you need to get him please I'm disappointed in how hes treating his son and I raised him better.." so I met her the next day half way and apologized and that I didn't know he wasn't around (he also claimed him on taxes illegally since our custody agreement says I get to claim him). Then once I get him back things got even worse my oldest was stealing knives and hiding them under his pillow, taking the cats and stuffing them into things and squeezing them, he left the front door open and convinced my youngest to walk outside while I ran to the bathroom and he disappeared for 15 minutes I had to call 911 (my son admitted he did it on purpose a few days later) he took something the wasn't replaceable that was my dad and completely ruined it and I was devastated I called my ex his father crying "please help me I cant handle this with him alone anymore please.." at this point my stress was pretty high I had chest pains and I barely ate and didn't sleep a lot I was in constant iep meetings, therapist offices, Psychologist appointments. my ex took our son and moved to Colorado for about 4 months and called me saying he cant handle him anymore he's a psycho and he needs him gone. Of course I took him back and he flew in Jan 4th those next few months were the worst few months he was baker acted 3 times in 4 months...once directly from school in cuffs since he threatened to kill the officers. He set fire in his room and thankfully I smelled the smoke before it burned down my house, we got another therapist through the baker act and we saw her once a week where she told me "if he doesn't get help he will be the next Jeffery Dahmer or the next school shooter" I cried and said "I have been scared of him for years but I cant get him help, nothing is working" I was told they would be getting him into a long term treatment due to his extreme anger but I couldn't hold out another 6 to 12 months I was so scared for myself and my son and my cats and my husband at this point I slept maybe an hour that entire week, my chest was in constant pain, I barely ate anything and I was so stressed and tired I took some pills in hopes to get sleep to get the stress to go away (I regret it and I wasn't trying to die I just wanted peace even if just an hour) regardless it almost killed me I was in the hospital for a week to where I talked to doctors and phycologists which they told me "get away from your son. If you continue doing this you will die and its time his father step up"
I'm sorry the background was so long but I felt it was important because I raised my son practically alone for 11 years. I paid every expense alone (besides when my dad offered to help) I never received any child support (even though it was court ordered 7 years ago) I would ask my ex for some money to buy our son clothing and I was ignored...he never sent a Christmas or birthday card or gifts or anything in all these years.. thousands of dollars in medical bills alone and idc about the money I just wanted our son to be happy and healthy.. now my ex who is raising our son he now texts me and threatens me "if you don't pay me 350$ a month then ill get you arrested" I keep telling him "1 I don't have 350$ laying around and 2 why should I have to pay you when you haven't paid me in 11 years?" the way I see it is its a two way street not one...why is it okay for my dad and I to pay THOUSANDS and he never pays but now that the shoes on the other foot he expects me to pay him? My ex is also demanding that "If I can't pay then make my husband pay.." So I should pay him? I feel I have paid my part towards our son and now its his turn to pay his part. I still plan to be a part of my sons life I talk to him on the phone whenever his father lets him call me I send him a card for his birthday, Christmas, thanksgiving, and Halloween with photos. I send a text to his father once a week saying "Tell our son I love him and he's welcome to call whenever" now that he moved back to our state (about 2.5 hours away) I plan to try and drive down once a month to see him (its just hard since I still have my youngest and I'm currently pregnant) I love my oldest son. I know he has some severe issues but I love my oldest son I believe he has the ability to be a sweet kind boy he's just struggling and it breaks my heart. I feel as if I failed him since I couldn't get him the correct help but I tried so hard. My family thinks I did the right thing giving my son to his father and also feel I don't owe him any money. So I guess AITA for refusing to pay my ex for my oldest medical bills?
2024.04.28 22:04 DBurner16733 I’ve (24M) been led on by an engaged woman (24F) who has used me and lied to me. What do I do next?
Hi, my name is D [24]. Let me provide some quick background on me. I work in marketing and social media in the recovery field. I was very successful in school (graduated 2nd in my class in high school and very successful in college). I’ve been pretty introverted my whole life, I am a high functioning autistic, but most (to be honest all) people can’t tell unless I say it. I tend to do better when surrounded by other people, I feed off them in a good way. I am a big video gamer, I can be really funny and extroverted once I am comfortable but I have a hard time doing that. I get lonely at night and have really bad anxiety at times. A lot of my friends I don’t live close to after college, so I spend most of my time working or gaming. This story is heavy, so if I miss anything or if anything’s confusing - please ask away. About 6 months prior to this, I broke up with my girlfriend of two and half years. One of the hardest things I have ever done. I wanted to break it off because I knew I wanted kids and she didn’t (on top of other long term goals). There was more to it, but that’s the most important. This choice had no short term benefit, but I did it for a better future for me. It was a really healthy relationship, she was great - but I wanted my forever person. I promised myself my next partner would be that (or hopefully would be that). We are still friends to this day.
My main game used to be World of Warcraft. I needed help with something and I asked around and met a girl named Samantha (Sam) Ingrid [24]. Total circumstance. She was incredible. I have done online dating/LDR before, I didn’t want it again, but this sort of just happened. I didn’t ask for it. She lives in Kentucky. I live in New England.
We talked nonstop, we had great healthy communication, we had a lot of similar interests and goals. It was very flirty from the start and we had a ton of chemistry. We could call, leave voice memos, and talk all day and night. It was very hyper focused and intense compared to the start of most relationships. We talked about dating and both wanted that soon, but decided it would be best to wait to meet up. A few weeks into talking, she let me know she had 3 daughters. She didn’t let me know at first because I guess we weren’t serious enough. I didn’t care after thinking about it and was willing to try it out and see how it goes. Things went great, we agreed we would begin dating before meeting up because we both were so into each other. Next few weeks go by and things are great. We were talking about meeting up soon (no set plans), but she’s starting a new job and it would be easier to meet. We would talk and play all day. She introduced me to an online friend named J. J and her used to flirt back in middle school days, but never dated, she said. He was just a friend. She didn’t want him to know about us dating so he wouldn’t feel like a third wheel. I was okay with this at first because I know how that feels. But I would always get into my head and get a little jealous, but she reassured me they were just friends. But, we all had a ton of fun together and had a small friend group. Also, Sam and I to clarify (to my knowledge) were fully boyfriend and girlfriend.
One day, it appears I’m randomly blocked out of nowhere.. When she blocked me, I reached out to our group chat while anxiously spiraling. He noticed I really wasn’t okay so he messaged me privately, asking if I was dating Sam. He told me the truth.
Her nickname “Sam” is true, but it was a different first name and last name. Sam actually has 4 kids (she didn’t mention she also had a son) and she’s engaged. The youngest 2 of the children are with her fiancé. Her son does not live with her and her fiance “C.” I went through her Facebook and it seems she was acting herself to me, but just keeping any secret involving him. They have been engaged for multiple years. He showed me her Facebook. He explained back when they were teenagers (14), she catfished him under the name “Anna” and they dated for almost a year. One day, she just vanished. Two years later, she came back on Facebook and apologized. They were acquaintances, but when she was on WoW, she reached out and they were friendly and started playing together. He forgave her because they were so young and figured she would never do it again. He said he’s on my side and was also mad because she told him that I was just a flirty friend and to ignore my flirting. So she lied to us both to keep us at bay, but at the same time wanted us all to be friends. Really manic behavior.
She called us very drunk the next day and I had to pry the truth from her. She wouldn’t admit it on her own. C (the fiance) saw all of the messages and they got into a big fight. They ended up drinking and she just kept drinking because of the pain. Her best friend took her to the mental hospital. She also told J that C had choked her out (and provided a photo), but once sober and a few days later said that was C’s brother and not him. I still don’t know if this is fully true, but I do have a photo of the choke marks.
She called me in the hospital (I can confirm she was really there and a patient) and things seemed to be a little better. She gets diagnosed with Bipolar and Psychosis. At first she wanted to end it with C forever. I felt good about this because I loved her, and I could reestablish boundaries and if she wanted me back in her life. A day later, she told me after thinking about it more, she’s decided she doesn’t know what she wants. This hurt a ton because I had been so good to her. I never yelled even after she lied to me about a ton, I was so respectful, and I could tell how happy she was around me. She said it was so easy to talk with me. When she got out, she didn’t respond to my messages.I had J check Facebook (FB) to see if she was online and she was. She messages him that she’s out, but to keep it on the “down low” from me. This pisses him off and they get into a fight where he calls her out and they block each other on everything and I get blocked on a few things and she messages me I was working with him to get information from her and it’s “triggering” for her. This is not entirely true and we talk a little and she says she was planning on calling when C (fiance) wasn’t around. I asked why didn’t you just let me know that and she dodges that. Eventually, she says she will call when he’s not around, but never does.
It was really rough for me. I feel I lost all sense of agency and control. When I thought I would be able to set boundaries, she just vanished with no care for me. I cried on the phone to J every night worried sick about her. And she just cut me out like that. I broke down with an anxiety attack a few days later and almost had to go somewhere. Eventually, I found a therapist and I am still talking with him. A week passes and I saw she was on WoW and she was on for the first time since everything. I asked J and he said I should reach out because I wasn’t blocked and get some closure I never got. She responded and we talked for four hours in the game. Part of me wanted to reach out because on social media, it seemed she/her family blamed everything on her diagnoses. But, I knew if she never got caught she would keep going and going. And I was right. She confirmed she chose him, but we agreed to talk more if she reached out first. I made a burner discord and she would uninstall and reinstall discord if he wasn’t around.
They continued their unhealthy relationship (they fight a ton, their son doesn’t live with them, total mess as a reminder) as we talked. It was good for a few days she said between them, but eventually their toxic thing went back to toxic. A week or two passes of us talking and calling and now video calling (I can confirm she is really the person on FB and all images she has EVER sent, were really of her). She told me she’d like to be with me and end things with him. I said okay I’d be interested in exploring that but we would need to be friends after she dumps him for a bit so we can rebuild trust. I knew I really fucking loved this girl and would move mountains for her. We talk all the time (when he’s not around) and whenever he’s not around we call and talk as much as possible. She even makes up excuses to leave the house so we can talk. A few weeks pass and they still are fighting. She gets drunk one night and insists I add her on snapchat. I do and he finds it going through her phone later that night. He doesn’t know it’s me but it causes them to argue more. She confirms she still wants to be with me and is taking steps towards that. This past week her communication has been way worse, we talk way less, and she seems more focused on hiding me, then my feelings and wellbeing. She is very busy with the new job and that’s our primary time to talk. As the week progresses - for the first time ever, she is also leaving me to read or ghosting me. Either because he’s around and he can’t see or because she’s just not as interested anymore. I know she's not mentally well. But I love her and it’s hard to let go, especially not having many people in my life. A boundary I set is to please not post him on your story because I don’t want to see. On Friday, they went on a date and she posted to him like 6 times. It felt so rude and disrespectful to me. All of this, while ignoring me because he’s around. She told me she'd be back later that night two days in a row and she never showed up so I was worried. On Saturday, she leaves me delivered all day and then opens my message and blocks me. This hurt because I set three boundaries when we started talking again - don’t use me, don’t hurt, and don’t leave me for good if you choose that without telling me why. And she broke all 3 of those at that time. This morning she reached out on the last application I am not blocked on (Discord burner) and said this before blocking me. She said, “I wanted to talk to you about this. We went to dinner and had a long talk. I chose him. I think in the back of my mind, I was always going to choose him. I love him with everything in me. And I’ve not been very good for him. I should have kept it strict and gave you the closure you wanted and that’s it. You are a great person, D. You will find someone to give you their all, and that’s not me.” I was glad she let me know, but it hurts that she wasn’t even sorry to me for anything. I know it was honest and it really hurts, but is also really telling she didn’t apologize to me and just cares about his feelings. She has fully cut communication now and probably forever. I am so jealous of C, but I am not after seeing how she can lie. I doubt I would be able to fully trust her in a relationship anyways. My therapist says we all have a sense of ego and that’s why I have had a hard time letting go, also a lack of closure. This was a little closure, but not exactly. Does she love me? Did she just use me? What exactly changed? I will never get answers to these and this is why it’s so hard for me to process (even over that 2 and a half year relationship with my ex).
I feel stuck, I feel devoid of purpose, I’m not the person I used to be. Not anymore. She broke me. I’d be open to moving on, but all I do is work and I’m never out of the house. I don’t even want to fold laundry or eat. A lot of my friends live far away, or just have moved on since college. But idk if I’m ready for something new, I’m so jealous of him but at the same time not because she keeps cheating on him with me. It just hurts being her backup boyfriend or whatever. I feel so sad and so lonely all the time. I guess I am here for advice or just your perspectives.
Should I reach out and tell C we have been talking again (I doubt he knows)? Part of me wants to because I’d want to know, but I feel it would be more revenge on her then wanting the best for him. My therapist says I shouldn’t because for once I should just protect my heart and not worry about everyone else over myself. If I do that, I potentially rehash a lot of shit. How can I move on easier? Part of me wants to go on a small vacation from work to get away, but I have nobody to go with or nowhere to go. I just feel very stuck, empty, and I have no ambition or goals anymore. Thank you for reading this all (almost 2500 words). I wish I could write papers this fast. If you have any questions or need clarification, please let me know. I need advice and support right now so I appreciate you reading this.
submitted by DBurner16733 to Advice [link] [comments]
My main game used to be World of Warcraft. I needed help with something and I asked around and met a girl named Samantha (Sam) Ingrid [24]. Total circumstance. She was incredible. I have done online dating/LDR before, I didn’t want it again, but this sort of just happened. I didn’t ask for it. She lives in Kentucky. I live in New England.
We talked nonstop, we had great healthy communication, we had a lot of similar interests and goals. It was very flirty from the start and we had a ton of chemistry. We could call, leave voice memos, and talk all day and night. It was very hyper focused and intense compared to the start of most relationships. We talked about dating and both wanted that soon, but decided it would be best to wait to meet up. A few weeks into talking, she let me know she had 3 daughters. She didn’t let me know at first because I guess we weren’t serious enough. I didn’t care after thinking about it and was willing to try it out and see how it goes. Things went great, we agreed we would begin dating before meeting up because we both were so into each other. Next few weeks go by and things are great. We were talking about meeting up soon (no set plans), but she’s starting a new job and it would be easier to meet. We would talk and play all day. She introduced me to an online friend named J. J and her used to flirt back in middle school days, but never dated, she said. He was just a friend. She didn’t want him to know about us dating so he wouldn’t feel like a third wheel. I was okay with this at first because I know how that feels. But I would always get into my head and get a little jealous, but she reassured me they were just friends. But, we all had a ton of fun together and had a small friend group. Also, Sam and I to clarify (to my knowledge) were fully boyfriend and girlfriend.
One day, it appears I’m randomly blocked out of nowhere.. When she blocked me, I reached out to our group chat while anxiously spiraling. He noticed I really wasn’t okay so he messaged me privately, asking if I was dating Sam. He told me the truth.
Her nickname “Sam” is true, but it was a different first name and last name. Sam actually has 4 kids (she didn’t mention she also had a son) and she’s engaged. The youngest 2 of the children are with her fiancé. Her son does not live with her and her fiance “C.” I went through her Facebook and it seems she was acting herself to me, but just keeping any secret involving him. They have been engaged for multiple years. He showed me her Facebook. He explained back when they were teenagers (14), she catfished him under the name “Anna” and they dated for almost a year. One day, she just vanished. Two years later, she came back on Facebook and apologized. They were acquaintances, but when she was on WoW, she reached out and they were friendly and started playing together. He forgave her because they were so young and figured she would never do it again. He said he’s on my side and was also mad because she told him that I was just a flirty friend and to ignore my flirting. So she lied to us both to keep us at bay, but at the same time wanted us all to be friends. Really manic behavior.
She called us very drunk the next day and I had to pry the truth from her. She wouldn’t admit it on her own. C (the fiance) saw all of the messages and they got into a big fight. They ended up drinking and she just kept drinking because of the pain. Her best friend took her to the mental hospital. She also told J that C had choked her out (and provided a photo), but once sober and a few days later said that was C’s brother and not him. I still don’t know if this is fully true, but I do have a photo of the choke marks.
She called me in the hospital (I can confirm she was really there and a patient) and things seemed to be a little better. She gets diagnosed with Bipolar and Psychosis. At first she wanted to end it with C forever. I felt good about this because I loved her, and I could reestablish boundaries and if she wanted me back in her life. A day later, she told me after thinking about it more, she’s decided she doesn’t know what she wants. This hurt a ton because I had been so good to her. I never yelled even after she lied to me about a ton, I was so respectful, and I could tell how happy she was around me. She said it was so easy to talk with me. When she got out, she didn’t respond to my messages.I had J check Facebook (FB) to see if she was online and she was. She messages him that she’s out, but to keep it on the “down low” from me. This pisses him off and they get into a fight where he calls her out and they block each other on everything and I get blocked on a few things and she messages me I was working with him to get information from her and it’s “triggering” for her. This is not entirely true and we talk a little and she says she was planning on calling when C (fiance) wasn’t around. I asked why didn’t you just let me know that and she dodges that. Eventually, she says she will call when he’s not around, but never does.
It was really rough for me. I feel I lost all sense of agency and control. When I thought I would be able to set boundaries, she just vanished with no care for me. I cried on the phone to J every night worried sick about her. And she just cut me out like that. I broke down with an anxiety attack a few days later and almost had to go somewhere. Eventually, I found a therapist and I am still talking with him. A week passes and I saw she was on WoW and she was on for the first time since everything. I asked J and he said I should reach out because I wasn’t blocked and get some closure I never got. She responded and we talked for four hours in the game. Part of me wanted to reach out because on social media, it seemed she/her family blamed everything on her diagnoses. But, I knew if she never got caught she would keep going and going. And I was right. She confirmed she chose him, but we agreed to talk more if she reached out first. I made a burner discord and she would uninstall and reinstall discord if he wasn’t around.
They continued their unhealthy relationship (they fight a ton, their son doesn’t live with them, total mess as a reminder) as we talked. It was good for a few days she said between them, but eventually their toxic thing went back to toxic. A week or two passes of us talking and calling and now video calling (I can confirm she is really the person on FB and all images she has EVER sent, were really of her). She told me she’d like to be with me and end things with him. I said okay I’d be interested in exploring that but we would need to be friends after she dumps him for a bit so we can rebuild trust. I knew I really fucking loved this girl and would move mountains for her. We talk all the time (when he’s not around) and whenever he’s not around we call and talk as much as possible. She even makes up excuses to leave the house so we can talk. A few weeks pass and they still are fighting. She gets drunk one night and insists I add her on snapchat. I do and he finds it going through her phone later that night. He doesn’t know it’s me but it causes them to argue more. She confirms she still wants to be with me and is taking steps towards that. This past week her communication has been way worse, we talk way less, and she seems more focused on hiding me, then my feelings and wellbeing. She is very busy with the new job and that’s our primary time to talk. As the week progresses - for the first time ever, she is also leaving me to read or ghosting me. Either because he’s around and he can’t see or because she’s just not as interested anymore. I know she's not mentally well. But I love her and it’s hard to let go, especially not having many people in my life. A boundary I set is to please not post him on your story because I don’t want to see. On Friday, they went on a date and she posted to him like 6 times. It felt so rude and disrespectful to me. All of this, while ignoring me because he’s around. She told me she'd be back later that night two days in a row and she never showed up so I was worried. On Saturday, she leaves me delivered all day and then opens my message and blocks me. This hurt because I set three boundaries when we started talking again - don’t use me, don’t hurt, and don’t leave me for good if you choose that without telling me why. And she broke all 3 of those at that time. This morning she reached out on the last application I am not blocked on (Discord burner) and said this before blocking me. She said, “I wanted to talk to you about this. We went to dinner and had a long talk. I chose him. I think in the back of my mind, I was always going to choose him. I love him with everything in me. And I’ve not been very good for him. I should have kept it strict and gave you the closure you wanted and that’s it. You are a great person, D. You will find someone to give you their all, and that’s not me.” I was glad she let me know, but it hurts that she wasn’t even sorry to me for anything. I know it was honest and it really hurts, but is also really telling she didn’t apologize to me and just cares about his feelings. She has fully cut communication now and probably forever. I am so jealous of C, but I am not after seeing how she can lie. I doubt I would be able to fully trust her in a relationship anyways. My therapist says we all have a sense of ego and that’s why I have had a hard time letting go, also a lack of closure. This was a little closure, but not exactly. Does she love me? Did she just use me? What exactly changed? I will never get answers to these and this is why it’s so hard for me to process (even over that 2 and a half year relationship with my ex).
I feel stuck, I feel devoid of purpose, I’m not the person I used to be. Not anymore. She broke me. I’d be open to moving on, but all I do is work and I’m never out of the house. I don’t even want to fold laundry or eat. A lot of my friends live far away, or just have moved on since college. But idk if I’m ready for something new, I’m so jealous of him but at the same time not because she keeps cheating on him with me. It just hurts being her backup boyfriend or whatever. I feel so sad and so lonely all the time. I guess I am here for advice or just your perspectives.
Should I reach out and tell C we have been talking again (I doubt he knows)? Part of me wants to because I’d want to know, but I feel it would be more revenge on her then wanting the best for him. My therapist says I shouldn’t because for once I should just protect my heart and not worry about everyone else over myself. If I do that, I potentially rehash a lot of shit. How can I move on easier? Part of me wants to go on a small vacation from work to get away, but I have nobody to go with or nowhere to go. I just feel very stuck, empty, and I have no ambition or goals anymore. Thank you for reading this all (almost 2500 words). I wish I could write papers this fast. If you have any questions or need clarification, please let me know. I need advice and support right now so I appreciate you reading this.
2024.04.28 21:51 oatmilk666 [H] list of HB games [W] games/steamgift/charity donations/pp
REP: https://www.reddit.com/IGSRep/comments/1bon79d/oatmilk666s_igs_rep_page/
All are humble bundle codes.
Ill gladly take gifted steam games (a la you buy it to me) instead of paypal.
I dont want to do giftlinks.
Im also willing to trade you codes vs a charity donation of a close-to-market value
to Internet Archive (a nonprofit digital library) against providing me a copy of the receipt.
List of what ive got:
SIMULATOSPORTS/RTS/RACING
Cardboard Town
Factory Town
Mob Factory
Recipe For Disaster
Cornucopia
Everdream Valley
Immortal Life
Ikonei Island: An Earthlock Adventure
The Witch of Fern Island
Driftland: The Magic Revival
ΔV: Rings of Saturn
EarthX
Endless Space 2
Monaco
PGA Tour 2K21
Treasure Hunter Simulator
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC
Hiveswap Friendsim Complete
Western Press
Dwarfs!?
Euro Truck Simulator 2
This War of Mine: Final Cut
Wargroove
Neo Cab
Rover Mechanic Simulator
Sigma Theory: Global Cold War
Worms Crazy Golf
Worms Pinball
Dogfight 1942
Throne of Lies The Online Game of Deceit
This War of Mine
7,62 Hard Life
Kerbal Space Program
Eastside Hockey Manager
Elite Dangerous
Endless Space - Collection
Kingdom Classic
Realpolitiks
Regular Human Basketball
Sonic & SEGA All Stars Racing
Surviving Mars
This War of Mine
Vertiginous Golf
Operation Flashpoint: Dragon Rising
Toybox Turbos
Gremlins, Inc.
Europa Universalis IV
Europa Universalis IV: American Dream
Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
Europa Universalis IV: Digital Extreme Edition Upgrade Pack
Europa Universalis IV: Pre-Order Pack
Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
WRC 10 FIA World Rally Championship
WRC 9 FIA World Rally Championship
WRC 7 FIA World Rally Championship
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
MotoGP 15
MotoGP 15
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
TRAIL OUT
Circuit Superstars
Satellite Reign
Cities in Motion
Cities in Motion 2
Concrete Jungle
Besiege
Turmoil
Verdun
Holy Potatoes! We're in Space?!
Cities in Motion 2
IL-2 Sturmovik: 1946
Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
Hiveswap Friendsim
112 Operator
911 Operator
Train Simulator 2020
Train Simulator: CSX AC6000CW Loco Add-On
Train Simulator: Miami - West Palm Beach Route Add-On
Train Simulator: Riviera Line in the Fifties: Exeter - Kingswear Route Add-On
Train Simulator: Western Hydraulics Pack Add-On
Tharsis
Punch Club Deluxe
Stronghold Legends: Steam Edition
Void Destroyer
Super Mega Baseball: Extra Innings
Drawful 2
Majesty 2 Collection
Telltale Texas Hold ‘Em
Beholder
Toybox Turbos
ARMA Gold Edition
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Poly Bridge
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes
Caravan
OlliOlli2: Welcome to Olliwood
Beholder
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Galactic Civilizations® II: Ultimate Edition
Galactic Civilizations® I: Ultimate Edition
Darkest Hour: A Hearts of Iron Game
Crusader Kings Complete
Crusader Kings II
Crusader Kings II
Crusader Kings II: The Republic
Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods DLC
Age of Wonders II: The Wizard's Throne
Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Throne of Lies The Online Game of Deceit
Niche
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation
Arma 2
Take on Mars
Carrier Command: Gaea Mission
Think of the Children
When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
RTS/
Starbound
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Siege of Centauri
Space Run
Necronator: Dead Wrong
Meridian Squad 22
Meridian Squad 22 Soundtrack
A Year Of Rain
Age of Wonders III
Company of Heroes 2
Infested Planet
Infested Planet - Trickster's Arsenal DLC
Hacknet
The Dwarves
Satellite Reign
Driftland: The Magic Revival
ΔV: Rings of Saturn
EarthX
ENDLESS Space 2
Grey Goo Definitive Edition
Grey Goo
Kingdom: New Lands Royal Edition
Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun
Crowntakers
SURVIVAL / ONLINE /MMO
The Long Dark
Life is Feudal: Your Own
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
Portal Knights
The Final Station
Savage Lands
Back 4 Blood
Primal Carnage: Extinction
Red Orchestra 2: Heroes of Stalingrad with Rising Storm
7 Days to Die
Idle Champions Celeste's Starter Pack
MEMORIES OF MARS
PUZZLE/POINT CLICK/ADVENTURE
Chronicles of Mystery: The Scorpio Ritual
Chronicles of Mystery - The Tree of Life
Art of Murder - Cards of Destiny
Kathy Rain
Whispers of a Machine
Amnesia Fortnight 2012
Amnesia Fortnight 2014
Amnesia Fortnight 2017
Fire: Ungh's Quest
The Night of the Rabbit
Outcast - Second Contact
Broken Age
11-11 Memories Retold
Thomas Was Alone
Oxenfree
Runestone Keeper
Anna's Quest
Puzzle Agent
Puzzle Agent 2
Pirate Pop Plus
Spaera
Road to Ballhalla
The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
The Walking Dead: 400 Days
Tales from the Borderlands
Hector: Badge of Carnage
Broken Age
Lost Horizon
Grim Fandango Remastered
Full Throttle Remastered
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Draw Slasher
Fearless Fantasy
Machinarium Collector's Edition
Purrfect Date - Visual Novel/Dating Simulator
Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth
The Little Acre
HIVESWAP: ACT 1
Police Quest Collection
Gabriel Knight 3: Blood of the Sacred, Blood of the Damned
PlATFORMERS/3D/ARCADESTYLE
Go Home Dinosaurs
NecroWorm
Neverout
Pixplode
Etherborn
Jack Axe
Death Squared
AVICII Invector
Worms
Worms Blast
Doodle Derby
Dub Dash
Safety First!
GoNNER
Kingdom
Kingdom: New Lands Royal Edition
Uurnog Uurnlimited
Revolver 360 Re:Actor
EarthNight
Hyper Light Drifter
Newt One
No Time to Explain Remastered
Overgrowth
Overlord II
StarCrossed
Splasher
Strikers Edge
Dustforce DX
Beat Cop
Hotline Miami
Diaries of a Spaceport Janitor
STRIDER
Death Squared
Oniken
Plantera
Tick Tock Isle
Fidel Dungeon Rescue
SpeedRunners
INK - Deluxe Edition
TumbleSeed
RIVE: Wreck, Hack, Die, Retry
Splasher
Tumblestone
Stick Fight: The Game
Hotline Miami 2
Mega Man Legacy Collection
Super House of Dead Ninjas
Super House of Dead Ninjas: True Ninja Pack
Rise & Shine
Penarium
Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
Sonic Adventure DX
GoNNER
140
Nex Machina
Evergarden
SpeedRunners
Octahedron: Transfixed Edition
INVERSUS Deluxe
Death Squared
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
Mr. Shifty
Paper Fire Rookie
Quest of Dungeons
Rising Dusk
Oh My Godheads
Octahedron: Transfixed Edition
Deadbeat Heroes
Beat Cop
Velocity 2X
RPGs/DECKBUILDNING
Pathway
Pawnbarian
Popup Dungeon
Ring of Pain
Deep Sky Derelicts
Moonlighter
Gift of Parthax
Aarklash: Legacy
One Way Heroics
Armello
Eon Altar Episode 1
The Amazing American Circus
Book of Demons
Sacred Franchise Pack
Rollers of the Realm
Sorcerer King: Rivals
LiEat
Magicka
Magicka 2
Panzer Corps + Panzer Corps Allied Corps DLC
Hand of Fate
Tangledeep
Tangledeep Soundtrack
ACTION:
Liberated (GOG)
Orbital Racer
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
SYSTEM SHOCK: ENHANCED EDITION
Brutal Legend
Hyper Light Drifter
Portal Knights
Saints Row: The Third
Mad Max
SUPERHOT
Devil's Hunt
BioShock Remastered
FRAMED Collection
Gunscape
System Shock 2
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
AWAY: Journey to the Unexpected
Crawl
Saints Row: The Third
Binary Domain
Bionic Commando
Tormentor X Punisher
Sniper Elite
Jump Stars
No Time To Explain Remastered
Overgrowth
JYDGE
Action Henk
Mercenary Kings: Reloaded Edition
Insurgency
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
METAL GEAR SOLID V: The Definitive Experience DLC
FIGHTING:
Deadbeat Heroes
Divekick
Stick Fight: The Game
Clone Drone in the Danger Zone
Skullgirls 2nd Encore
Shing!
HORROR:
Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
Resident Evil Revelations 2 - Episode 1: Penal Colony
RESIDENT EVIL 2 - All In-game Rewards Unlock
SIMULACRA
DreadOut Soundtrack & Manga DLC
Resident Evil Revelations
GET EVEN
Deadly 30
Pacify
DUSK
DISTRAINT 2
DISTRAINT 2 Soundtrack
Detention
Blood: Fresh Supply
Pinstripe
Mosaic
How to survive 2
Expensive & rare / delisted & removed from steam:
Poker Night at the Inventory
Poker Night 2
F1 Race Stars
Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy
Spec Ops: The Line
Sonic CD
Sonic 3 & Knuckles
beyond eyes
Sam & Max: Season 1
Sam & Max: Season 2
Bone Episode 1 & Episode 2 Telltale Out from boneville & The great Cow Race
HITMAN: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON
Citizens of Earth
GTA III + GTA Vice city
Jurassic Park: The Game
GRID Autosport
TOOLS/PROGRAMS/SOUNDTRACKS/OTHER:
GameGuru
GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months
Intro to Game Development with Unity
Music Maker EDM Edition
PDF-Suite 1 Year License
RPG Maker VX
Clickteam Fusion 2.5 Standard
Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
Ashampoo WinOptimizer 18
Ashampoo BackUp Pro 14
GameMaker Studio Pro
Memoria Soundtrack
clickteam fusion (expensive)
Music Maker: Hip Hop Edition
We Are Alright
Pathfinder Second Edition Core Rulebook and Starfinder Core Rulebook
VR:
Smashbox Arena
Carnival Games VR
Telefrag VR
Slinger VR
WANT:
Elden Ring + DLC
Dark souls 2
sin: gold
spintires
snowrunner
quake 4
Thief: Deadly Shadows
Cold Fear
Mass effect
mass effect 2
Lugaru HD
cold fear
Kingpin life of crime
mount & blade 1+2
rise of the triad
shadow warrior (all games except classic redux)
organ trail
obscure 1 + 2
monstrum
virtuaverse
Shadowgate
Northgard
Frostpunk + DLCs
Elex
stasis bone totem
I dont want TF2 keys.
Open to offers & all kinds of games, let me know.
submitted by oatmilk666 to indiegameswap [link] [comments]
All are humble bundle codes.
Ill gladly take gifted steam games (a la you buy it to me) instead of paypal.
I dont want to do giftlinks.
Im also willing to trade you codes vs a charity donation of a close-to-market value
to Internet Archive (a nonprofit digital library) against providing me a copy of the receipt.
List of what ive got:
SIMULATOSPORTS/RTS/RACING
Cardboard Town
Factory Town
Mob Factory
Recipe For Disaster
Cornucopia
Everdream Valley
Immortal Life
Ikonei Island: An Earthlock Adventure
The Witch of Fern Island
Driftland: The Magic Revival
ΔV: Rings of Saturn
EarthX
Endless Space 2
Monaco
PGA Tour 2K21
Treasure Hunter Simulator
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
X-Morph: Defense + European Assault, Survival of the Fittest, and Last Bastion DLC
Hiveswap Friendsim Complete
Western Press
Dwarfs!?
Euro Truck Simulator 2
This War of Mine: Final Cut
Wargroove
Neo Cab
Rover Mechanic Simulator
Sigma Theory: Global Cold War
Worms Crazy Golf
Worms Pinball
Dogfight 1942
Throne of Lies The Online Game of Deceit
This War of Mine
7,62 Hard Life
Kerbal Space Program
Eastside Hockey Manager
Elite Dangerous
Endless Space - Collection
Kingdom Classic
Realpolitiks
Regular Human Basketball
Sonic & SEGA All Stars Racing
Surviving Mars
This War of Mine
Vertiginous Golf
Operation Flashpoint: Dragon Rising
Toybox Turbos
Gremlins, Inc.
Europa Universalis IV
Europa Universalis IV: American Dream
Europa Universalis IV: Art of War
Europa Universalis IV: Digital Extreme Edition Upgrade Pack
Europa Universalis IV: Pre-Order Pack
Europa Universalis IV: Res Publica
Europa Universalis IV: Wealth of Nations
WRC 10 FIA World Rally Championship
WRC 9 FIA World Rally Championship
WRC 7 FIA World Rally Championship
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
MotoGP 15
MotoGP 15
MXGP - The Official Motocross Videogame
TRAIL OUT
Circuit Superstars
Satellite Reign
Cities in Motion
Cities in Motion 2
Concrete Jungle
Besiege
Turmoil
Verdun
Holy Potatoes! We're in Space?!
Cities in Motion 2
IL-2 Sturmovik: 1946
Car Mechanic Simulator 2018
Hiveswap Friendsim
112 Operator
911 Operator
Train Simulator 2020
Train Simulator: CSX AC6000CW Loco Add-On
Train Simulator: Miami - West Palm Beach Route Add-On
Train Simulator: Riviera Line in the Fifties: Exeter - Kingswear Route Add-On
Train Simulator: Western Hydraulics Pack Add-On
Tharsis
Punch Club Deluxe
Stronghold Legends: Steam Edition
Void Destroyer
Super Mega Baseball: Extra Innings
Drawful 2
Majesty 2 Collection
Telltale Texas Hold ‘Em
Beholder
Toybox Turbos
ARMA Gold Edition
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Poly Bridge
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes
Caravan
OlliOlli2: Welcome to Olliwood
Beholder
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Galactic Civilizations® II: Ultimate Edition
Galactic Civilizations® I: Ultimate Edition
Darkest Hour: A Hearts of Iron Game
Crusader Kings Complete
Crusader Kings II
Crusader Kings II
Crusader Kings II: The Republic
Crusader Kings II: Legacy of Rome
Crusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion
Crusader Kings II: The Old Gods DLC
Age of Wonders II: The Wizard's Throne
Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Throne of Lies The Online Game of Deceit
Niche
Ashes of the Singularity: Escalation
Arma 2
Take on Mars
Carrier Command: Gaea Mission
Think of the Children
When Ski Lifts Go Wrong
RTS/
Starbound
Sins of a Solar Empire: Rebellion
Siege of Centauri
Space Run
Necronator: Dead Wrong
Meridian Squad 22
Meridian Squad 22 Soundtrack
A Year Of Rain
Age of Wonders III
Company of Heroes 2
Infested Planet
Infested Planet - Trickster's Arsenal DLC
Hacknet
The Dwarves
Satellite Reign
Driftland: The Magic Revival
ΔV: Rings of Saturn
EarthX
ENDLESS Space 2
Grey Goo Definitive Edition
Grey Goo
Kingdom: New Lands Royal Edition
Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun
Crowntakers
SURVIVAL / ONLINE /MMO
The Long Dark
Life is Feudal: Your Own
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition
Portal Knights
The Final Station
Savage Lands
Back 4 Blood
Primal Carnage: Extinction
Red Orchestra 2: Heroes of Stalingrad with Rising Storm
7 Days to Die
Idle Champions Celeste's Starter Pack
MEMORIES OF MARS
PUZZLE/POINT CLICK/ADVENTURE
Chronicles of Mystery: The Scorpio Ritual
Chronicles of Mystery - The Tree of Life
Art of Murder - Cards of Destiny
Kathy Rain
Whispers of a Machine
Amnesia Fortnight 2012
Amnesia Fortnight 2014
Amnesia Fortnight 2017
Fire: Ungh's Quest
The Night of the Rabbit
Outcast - Second Contact
Broken Age
observer_Pesterquest
11-11 Memories Retold
Thomas Was Alone
Oxenfree
Runestone Keeper
Anna's Quest
Puzzle Agent
Puzzle Agent 2
Pirate Pop Plus
Spaera
Road to Ballhalla
The Walking Dead: Michonne - A Telltale Miniseries
The Walking Dead: 400 Days
Tales from the Borderlands
Hector: Badge of Carnage
Broken Age
Lost Horizon
Grim Fandango Remastered
Full Throttle Remastered
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Draw Slasher
Fearless Fantasy
Machinarium Collector's Edition
Purrfect Date - Visual Novel/Dating Simulator
Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth
The Little Acre
HIVESWAP: ACT 1
Police Quest Collection
Gabriel Knight 3: Blood of the Sacred, Blood of the Damned
PlATFORMERS/3D/ARCADESTYLE
Go Home Dinosaurs
NecroWorm
Neverout
Pixplode
Etherborn
Jack Axe
Death Squared
AVICII Invector
Worms
Worms Blast
Doodle Derby
Dub Dash
Safety First!
GoNNER
Kingdom
Kingdom: New Lands Royal Edition
Uurnog Uurnlimited
Revolver 360 Re:Actor
EarthNight
Hyper Light Drifter
Newt One
No Time to Explain Remastered
Overgrowth
Overlord II
StarCrossed
Splasher
Strikers Edge
Dustforce DX
Beat Cop
Hotline Miami
Diaries of a Spaceport Janitor
STRIDER
Death Squared
Oniken
Plantera
Tick Tock Isle
Fidel Dungeon Rescue
SpeedRunners
INK - Deluxe Edition
TumbleSeed
RIVE: Wreck, Hack, Die, Retry
Splasher
Tumblestone
Stick Fight: The Game
Hotline Miami 2
Mega Man Legacy Collection
Super House of Dead Ninjas
Super House of Dead Ninjas: True Ninja Pack
Rise & Shine
Penarium
Sonic and SEGA All Stars Racing
Sonic Adventure DX
GoNNER
140
Nex Machina
Evergarden
SpeedRunners
Octahedron: Transfixed Edition
INVERSUS Deluxe
Death Squared
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
Mr. Shifty
Paper Fire Rookie
Quest of Dungeons
Rising Dusk
Oh My Godheads
Octahedron: Transfixed Edition
Deadbeat Heroes
Beat Cop
Velocity 2X
RPGs/DECKBUILDNING
Pathway
Pawnbarian
Popup Dungeon
Ring of Pain
Deep Sky Derelicts
Moonlighter
Gift of Parthax
Aarklash: Legacy
One Way Heroics
Armello
Eon Altar Episode 1
The Amazing American Circus
Book of Demons
Sacred Franchise Pack
Rollers of the Realm
Sorcerer King: Rivals
LiEat
Magicka
Magicka 2
Panzer Corps + Panzer Corps Allied Corps DLC
Hand of Fate
Tangledeep
Tangledeep Soundtrack
ACTION:
Liberated (GOG)
Orbital Racer
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
SYSTEM SHOCK: ENHANCED EDITION
Brutal Legend
Hyper Light Drifter
Portal Knights
Saints Row: The Third
Mad Max
SUPERHOT
Devil's Hunt
BioShock Remastered
FRAMED Collection
Gunscape
System Shock 2
System Shock: Enhanced Edition
AWAY: Journey to the Unexpected
Crawl
Saints Row: The Third
Binary Domain
Bionic Commando
Tormentor X Punisher
Sniper Elite
Jump Stars
No Time To Explain Remastered
Overgrowth
JYDGE
Action Henk
Mercenary Kings: Reloaded Edition
Insurgency
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
Masquerade: The Baubles of Doom
METAL GEAR SOLID V: The Definitive Experience DLC
FIGHTING:
Deadbeat Heroes
Divekick
Stick Fight: The Game
Clone Drone in the Danger Zone
Skullgirls 2nd Encore
Shing!
HORROR:
Amnesia: The Dark Descent + Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
Resident Evil Revelations 2 - Episode 1: Penal Colony
RESIDENT EVIL 2 - All In-game Rewards Unlock
SIMULACRA
DreadOut Soundtrack & Manga DLC
Resident Evil Revelations
GET EVEN
Deadly 30
Pacify
DUSK
DISTRAINT 2
DISTRAINT 2 Soundtrack
Detention
Blood: Fresh Supply
Pinstripe
Mosaic
How to survive 2
Expensive & rare / delisted & removed from steam:
Poker Night at the Inventory
Poker Night 2
F1 Race Stars
Crash Bandicoot N. Sane Trilogy
Spec Ops: The Line
Sonic CD
Sonic 3 & Knuckles
beyond eyes
Sam & Max: Season 1
Sam & Max: Season 2
Bone Episode 1 & Episode 2 Telltale Out from boneville & The great Cow Race
HITMAN: THE COMPLETE FIRST SEASON
Citizens of Earth
GTA III + GTA Vice city
Jurassic Park: The Game
GRID Autosport
TOOLS/PROGRAMS/SOUNDTRACKS/OTHER:
GameGuru
GameMaker Studio 2 Creator 12 Months
Intro to Game Development with Unity
Music Maker EDM Edition
PDF-Suite 1 Year License
RPG Maker VX
Clickteam Fusion 2.5 Standard
Ashampoo Photo Optimizer 7
Ashampoo WinOptimizer 18
Ashampoo BackUp Pro 14
GameMaker Studio Pro
Memoria Soundtrack
clickteam fusion (expensive)
Music Maker: Hip Hop Edition
We Are Alright
Pathfinder Second Edition Core Rulebook and Starfinder Core Rulebook
VR:
Smashbox Arena
Carnival Games VR
Telefrag VR
Slinger VR
WANT:
Elden Ring + DLC
Dark souls 2
sin: gold
spintires
snowrunner
quake 4
Thief: Deadly Shadows
Cold Fear
Mass effect
mass effect 2
Lugaru HD
cold fear
Kingpin life of crime
mount & blade 1+2
rise of the triad
shadow warrior (all games except classic redux)
organ trail
obscure 1 + 2
monstrum
virtuaverse
Shadowgate
Northgard
Frostpunk + DLCs
Elex
stasis bone totem
I dont want TF2 keys.
Open to offers & all kinds of games, let me know.
2024.04.28 21:36 DBurner16733 I (24M) got used by my “girlfriend” (24F) who was secretly engaged with children. I’m feel empty, what do I do next?
Edit: sorry for poor grammar in title.
Hi, my name is D [24]. Let me provide some quick background on me. I work in marketing and social media in the recovery field. I was very successful in school (graduated 2nd in my class in high school and very successful in college). I’ve been pretty introverted my whole life, I am a high functioning autistic, but most (to be honest all) people can’t tell unless I say it. I tend to do better when surrounded by other people, I feed off them in a good way. I am a big video gamer, I can be really funny and extroverted once I am comfortable but I have a hard time doing that. I get lonely at night and have really bad anxiety at times. A lot of my friends I don’t live close to after college, so I spend most of my time working or gaming. This story is heavy, so if I miss anything or if anything’s confusing - please ask away. About 6 months prior to this, I broke up with my girlfriend of two and half years. One of the hardest things I have ever done. I wanted to break it off because I knew I wanted kids and she didn’t (on top of other long term goals). There was more to it, but that’s the most important. This choice had no short term benefit, but I did it for a better future for me. It was a really healthy relationship, she was great - but I wanted my forever person. I promised myself my next partner would be that (or hopefully would be that). We are still friends to this day.
My main game used to be World of Warcraft. I needed help with something and I asked around and met a girl named Samantha (Sam) Ingrid [24]. Total circumstance. She was incredible. I have done online dating/LDR before, I didn’t want it again, but this sort of just happened. I didn’t ask for it. She lives in Kentucky. I live in New England.
We talked nonstop, we had great healthy communication, we had a lot of similar interests and goals. It was very flirty from the start and we had a ton of chemistry. We could call, leave voice memos, and talk all day and night. It was very hyper focused and intense compared to the start of most relationships. We talked about dating and both wanted that soon, but decided it would be best to wait to meet up. A few weeks into talking, she let me know she had 3 daughters. She didn’t let me know at first because I guess we weren’t serious enough. I didn’t care after thinking about it and was willing to try it out and see how it goes. Things went great, we agreed we would begin dating before meeting up because we both were so into each other. Next few weeks go by and things are great. We were talking about meeting up soon (no set plans), but she’s starting a new job and it would be easier to meet. We would talk and play all day. She introduced me to an online friend named J. J and her used to flirt back in middle school days, but never dated, she said. He was just a friend. She didn’t want him to know about us dating so he wouldn’t feel like a third wheel. I was okay with this at first because I know how that feels. But I would always get into my head and get a little jealous, but she reassured me they were just friends. But, we all had a ton of fun together and had a small friend group. Also, Sam and I to clarify (to my knowledge) were fully boyfriend and girlfriend.
One day, it appears I’m randomly blocked out of nowhere.. When she blocked me, I reached out to our group chat while anxiously spiraling. He noticed I really wasn’t okay so he messaged me privately, asking if I was dating Sam. He told me the truth.
Her nickname “Sam” is true, but it was a different first name and last name. Sam actually has 4 kids (she didn’t mention she also had a son) and she’s engaged. The youngest 2 of the children are with her fiancé. Her son does not live with her and her fiance “C.” I went through her Facebook and it seems she was acting herself to me, but just keeping any secret involving him. They have been engaged for multiple years. He showed me her Facebook. He explained back when they were teenagers (14), she catfished him under the name “Anna” and they dated for almost a year. One day, she just vanished. Two years later, she came back on Facebook and apologized. They were acquaintances, but when she was on WoW, she reached out and they were friendly and started playing together. He forgave her because they were so young and figured she would never do it again. He said he’s on my side and was also mad because she told him that I was just a flirty friend and to ignore my flirting. So she lied to us both to keep us at bay, but at the same time wanted us all to be friends. Really manic behavior.
She called us very drunk the next day and I had to pry the truth from her. She wouldn’t admit it on her own. C (the fiance) saw all of the messages and they got into a big fight. They ended up drinking and she just kept drinking because of the pain. Her best friend took her to the mental hospital. She also told J that C had choked her out (and provided a photo), but once sober and a few days later said that was C’s brother and not him. I still don’t know if this is fully true, but I do have a photo of the choke marks.
She called me in the hospital (I can confirm she was really there and a patient) and things seemed to be a little better. She gets diagnosed with Bipolar and Psychosis. At first she wanted to end it with C forever. I felt good about this because I loved her, and I could reestablish boundaries and if she wanted me back in her life. A day later, she told me after thinking about it more, she’s decided she doesn’t know what she wants. This hurt a ton because I had been so good to her. I never yelled even after she lied to me about a ton, I was so respectful, and I could tell how happy she was around me. She said it was so easy to talk with me. When she got out, she didn’t respond to my messages.I had J check Facebook (FB) to see if she was online and she was. She messages him that she’s out, but to keep it on the “down low” from me. This pisses him off and they get into a fight where he calls her out and they block each other on everything and I get blocked on a few things and she messages me I was working with him to get information from her and it’s “triggering” for her. This is not entirely true and we talk a little and she says she was planning on calling when C (fiance) wasn’t around. I asked why didn’t you just let me know that and she dodges that. Eventually, she says she will call when he’s not around, but never does.
It was really rough for me. I feel I lost all sense of agency and control. When I thought I would be able to set boundaries, she just vanished with no care for me. I cried on the phone to J every night worried sick about her. And she just cut me out like that. I broke down with an anxiety attack a few days later and almost had to go somewhere. Eventually, I found a therapist and I am still talking with him. A week passes and I saw she was on WoW and she was on for the first time since everything. I asked J and he said I should reach out because I wasn’t blocked and get some closure I never got. She responded and we talked for four hours in the game. Part of me wanted to reach out because on social media, it seemed she/her family blamed everything on her diagnoses. But, I knew if she never got caught she would keep going and going. And I was right. She confirmed she chose him, but we agreed to talk more if she reached out first. I made a burner discord and she would uninstall and reinstall discord if he wasn’t around.
They continued their unhealthy relationship (they fight a ton, their son doesn’t live with them, total mess as a reminder) as we talked. It was good for a few days she said between them, but eventually their toxic thing went back to toxic. A week or two passes of us talking and calling and now video calling (I can confirm she is really the person on FB and all images she has EVER sent, were really of her). She told me she’d like to be with me and end things with him. I said okay I’d be interested in exploring that but we would need to be friends after she dumps him for a bit so we can rebuild trust. I knew I really fucking loved this girl and would move mountains for her. We talk all the time (when he’s not around) and whenever he’s not around we call and talk as much as possible. She even makes up excuses to leave the house so we can talk. A few weeks pass and they still are fighting. She gets drunk one night and insists I add her on snapchat. I do and he finds it going through her phone later that night. He doesn’t know it’s me but it causes them to argue more. She confirms she still wants to be with me and is taking steps towards that. This past week her communication has been way worse, we talk way less, and she seems more focused on hiding me, then my feelings and wellbeing. She is very busy with the new job and that’s our primary time to talk. As the week progresses - for the first time ever, she is also leaving me to read or ghosting me. Either because he’s around and he can’t see or because she’s just not as interested anymore. I know she's not mentally well. But I love her and it’s hard to let go, especially not having many people in my life. A boundary I set is to please not post him on your story because I don’t want to see. On Friday, they went on a date and she posted to him like 6 times. It felt so rude and disrespectful to me. All of this, while ignoring me because he’s around. She told me she'd be back later that night two days in a row and she never showed up so I was worried. On Saturday, she leaves me delivered all day and then opens my message and blocks me. This hurt because I set three boundaries when we started talking again - don’t use me, don’t hurt, and don’t leave me for good if you choose that without telling me why. And she broke all 3 of those at that time. This morning she reached out on the last application I am not blocked on (Discord burner) and said this before blocking me. She said, “I wanted to talk to you about this. We went to dinner and had a long talk. I chose him. I think in the back of my mind, I was always going to choose him. I love him with everything in me. And I’ve not been very good for him. I should have kept it strict and gave you the closure you wanted and that’s it. You are a great person, D. You will find someone to give you their all, and that’s not me.” I was glad she let me know, but it hurts that she wasn’t even sorry to me for anything. I know it was honest and it really hurts, but is also really telling she didn’t apologize to me and just cares about his feelings. She has fully cut communication now and probably forever. I am so jealous of C, but I am not after seeing how she can lie. I doubt I would be able to fully trust her in a relationship anyways. My therapist says we all have a sense of ego and that’s why I have had a hard time letting go, also a lack of closure. This was a little closure, but not exactly. Does she love me? Did she just use me? What exactly changed? I will never get answers to these and this is why it’s so hard for me to process (even over that 2 and a half year relationship with my ex).
I feel stuck, I feel devoid of purpose, I’m not the person I used to be. Not anymore. She broke me. I’d be open to moving on, but all I do is work and I’m never out of the house. I don’t even want to fold laundry or eat. A lot of my friends live far away, or just have moved on since college. But idk if I’m ready for something new, I’m so jealous of him but at the same time not because she keeps cheating on him with me. It just hurts being her backup boyfriend or whatever. I feel so sad and so lonely all the time. I guess I am here for advice or just your perspectives.
Should I reach out and tell C we have been talking again (I doubt he knows)? Part of me wants to because I’d want to know, but I feel it would be more revenge on her then wanting the best for him. My therapist says I shouldn’t because for once I should just protect my heart and not worry about everyone else over myself. If I do that, I potentially rehash a lot of shit. How can I move on easier? Part of me wants to go on a small vacation from work to get away, but I have nobody to go with or nowhere to go. I just feel very stuck, empty, and I have no ambition or goals anymore. Thank you for reading this all (almost 2500 words). I wish I could write papers this fast. If you have any questions or need clarification, please let me know. I need advice and support right now so I appreciate you reading this.
submitted by DBurner16733 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Hi, my name is D [24]. Let me provide some quick background on me. I work in marketing and social media in the recovery field. I was very successful in school (graduated 2nd in my class in high school and very successful in college). I’ve been pretty introverted my whole life, I am a high functioning autistic, but most (to be honest all) people can’t tell unless I say it. I tend to do better when surrounded by other people, I feed off them in a good way. I am a big video gamer, I can be really funny and extroverted once I am comfortable but I have a hard time doing that. I get lonely at night and have really bad anxiety at times. A lot of my friends I don’t live close to after college, so I spend most of my time working or gaming. This story is heavy, so if I miss anything or if anything’s confusing - please ask away. About 6 months prior to this, I broke up with my girlfriend of two and half years. One of the hardest things I have ever done. I wanted to break it off because I knew I wanted kids and she didn’t (on top of other long term goals). There was more to it, but that’s the most important. This choice had no short term benefit, but I did it for a better future for me. It was a really healthy relationship, she was great - but I wanted my forever person. I promised myself my next partner would be that (or hopefully would be that). We are still friends to this day.
My main game used to be World of Warcraft. I needed help with something and I asked around and met a girl named Samantha (Sam) Ingrid [24]. Total circumstance. She was incredible. I have done online dating/LDR before, I didn’t want it again, but this sort of just happened. I didn’t ask for it. She lives in Kentucky. I live in New England.
We talked nonstop, we had great healthy communication, we had a lot of similar interests and goals. It was very flirty from the start and we had a ton of chemistry. We could call, leave voice memos, and talk all day and night. It was very hyper focused and intense compared to the start of most relationships. We talked about dating and both wanted that soon, but decided it would be best to wait to meet up. A few weeks into talking, she let me know she had 3 daughters. She didn’t let me know at first because I guess we weren’t serious enough. I didn’t care after thinking about it and was willing to try it out and see how it goes. Things went great, we agreed we would begin dating before meeting up because we both were so into each other. Next few weeks go by and things are great. We were talking about meeting up soon (no set plans), but she’s starting a new job and it would be easier to meet. We would talk and play all day. She introduced me to an online friend named J. J and her used to flirt back in middle school days, but never dated, she said. He was just a friend. She didn’t want him to know about us dating so he wouldn’t feel like a third wheel. I was okay with this at first because I know how that feels. But I would always get into my head and get a little jealous, but she reassured me they were just friends. But, we all had a ton of fun together and had a small friend group. Also, Sam and I to clarify (to my knowledge) were fully boyfriend and girlfriend.
One day, it appears I’m randomly blocked out of nowhere.. When she blocked me, I reached out to our group chat while anxiously spiraling. He noticed I really wasn’t okay so he messaged me privately, asking if I was dating Sam. He told me the truth.
Her nickname “Sam” is true, but it was a different first name and last name. Sam actually has 4 kids (she didn’t mention she also had a son) and she’s engaged. The youngest 2 of the children are with her fiancé. Her son does not live with her and her fiance “C.” I went through her Facebook and it seems she was acting herself to me, but just keeping any secret involving him. They have been engaged for multiple years. He showed me her Facebook. He explained back when they were teenagers (14), she catfished him under the name “Anna” and they dated for almost a year. One day, she just vanished. Two years later, she came back on Facebook and apologized. They were acquaintances, but when she was on WoW, she reached out and they were friendly and started playing together. He forgave her because they were so young and figured she would never do it again. He said he’s on my side and was also mad because she told him that I was just a flirty friend and to ignore my flirting. So she lied to us both to keep us at bay, but at the same time wanted us all to be friends. Really manic behavior.
She called us very drunk the next day and I had to pry the truth from her. She wouldn’t admit it on her own. C (the fiance) saw all of the messages and they got into a big fight. They ended up drinking and she just kept drinking because of the pain. Her best friend took her to the mental hospital. She also told J that C had choked her out (and provided a photo), but once sober and a few days later said that was C’s brother and not him. I still don’t know if this is fully true, but I do have a photo of the choke marks.
She called me in the hospital (I can confirm she was really there and a patient) and things seemed to be a little better. She gets diagnosed with Bipolar and Psychosis. At first she wanted to end it with C forever. I felt good about this because I loved her, and I could reestablish boundaries and if she wanted me back in her life. A day later, she told me after thinking about it more, she’s decided she doesn’t know what she wants. This hurt a ton because I had been so good to her. I never yelled even after she lied to me about a ton, I was so respectful, and I could tell how happy she was around me. She said it was so easy to talk with me. When she got out, she didn’t respond to my messages.I had J check Facebook (FB) to see if she was online and she was. She messages him that she’s out, but to keep it on the “down low” from me. This pisses him off and they get into a fight where he calls her out and they block each other on everything and I get blocked on a few things and she messages me I was working with him to get information from her and it’s “triggering” for her. This is not entirely true and we talk a little and she says she was planning on calling when C (fiance) wasn’t around. I asked why didn’t you just let me know that and she dodges that. Eventually, she says she will call when he’s not around, but never does.
It was really rough for me. I feel I lost all sense of agency and control. When I thought I would be able to set boundaries, she just vanished with no care for me. I cried on the phone to J every night worried sick about her. And she just cut me out like that. I broke down with an anxiety attack a few days later and almost had to go somewhere. Eventually, I found a therapist and I am still talking with him. A week passes and I saw she was on WoW and she was on for the first time since everything. I asked J and he said I should reach out because I wasn’t blocked and get some closure I never got. She responded and we talked for four hours in the game. Part of me wanted to reach out because on social media, it seemed she/her family blamed everything on her diagnoses. But, I knew if she never got caught she would keep going and going. And I was right. She confirmed she chose him, but we agreed to talk more if she reached out first. I made a burner discord and she would uninstall and reinstall discord if he wasn’t around.
They continued their unhealthy relationship (they fight a ton, their son doesn’t live with them, total mess as a reminder) as we talked. It was good for a few days she said between them, but eventually their toxic thing went back to toxic. A week or two passes of us talking and calling and now video calling (I can confirm she is really the person on FB and all images she has EVER sent, were really of her). She told me she’d like to be with me and end things with him. I said okay I’d be interested in exploring that but we would need to be friends after she dumps him for a bit so we can rebuild trust. I knew I really fucking loved this girl and would move mountains for her. We talk all the time (when he’s not around) and whenever he’s not around we call and talk as much as possible. She even makes up excuses to leave the house so we can talk. A few weeks pass and they still are fighting. She gets drunk one night and insists I add her on snapchat. I do and he finds it going through her phone later that night. He doesn’t know it’s me but it causes them to argue more. She confirms she still wants to be with me and is taking steps towards that. This past week her communication has been way worse, we talk way less, and she seems more focused on hiding me, then my feelings and wellbeing. She is very busy with the new job and that’s our primary time to talk. As the week progresses - for the first time ever, she is also leaving me to read or ghosting me. Either because he’s around and he can’t see or because she’s just not as interested anymore. I know she's not mentally well. But I love her and it’s hard to let go, especially not having many people in my life. A boundary I set is to please not post him on your story because I don’t want to see. On Friday, they went on a date and she posted to him like 6 times. It felt so rude and disrespectful to me. All of this, while ignoring me because he’s around. She told me she'd be back later that night two days in a row and she never showed up so I was worried. On Saturday, she leaves me delivered all day and then opens my message and blocks me. This hurt because I set three boundaries when we started talking again - don’t use me, don’t hurt, and don’t leave me for good if you choose that without telling me why. And she broke all 3 of those at that time. This morning she reached out on the last application I am not blocked on (Discord burner) and said this before blocking me. She said, “I wanted to talk to you about this. We went to dinner and had a long talk. I chose him. I think in the back of my mind, I was always going to choose him. I love him with everything in me. And I’ve not been very good for him. I should have kept it strict and gave you the closure you wanted and that’s it. You are a great person, D. You will find someone to give you their all, and that’s not me.” I was glad she let me know, but it hurts that she wasn’t even sorry to me for anything. I know it was honest and it really hurts, but is also really telling she didn’t apologize to me and just cares about his feelings. She has fully cut communication now and probably forever. I am so jealous of C, but I am not after seeing how she can lie. I doubt I would be able to fully trust her in a relationship anyways. My therapist says we all have a sense of ego and that’s why I have had a hard time letting go, also a lack of closure. This was a little closure, but not exactly. Does she love me? Did she just use me? What exactly changed? I will never get answers to these and this is why it’s so hard for me to process (even over that 2 and a half year relationship with my ex).
I feel stuck, I feel devoid of purpose, I’m not the person I used to be. Not anymore. She broke me. I’d be open to moving on, but all I do is work and I’m never out of the house. I don’t even want to fold laundry or eat. A lot of my friends live far away, or just have moved on since college. But idk if I’m ready for something new, I’m so jealous of him but at the same time not because she keeps cheating on him with me. It just hurts being her backup boyfriend or whatever. I feel so sad and so lonely all the time. I guess I am here for advice or just your perspectives.
Should I reach out and tell C we have been talking again (I doubt he knows)? Part of me wants to because I’d want to know, but I feel it would be more revenge on her then wanting the best for him. My therapist says I shouldn’t because for once I should just protect my heart and not worry about everyone else over myself. If I do that, I potentially rehash a lot of shit. How can I move on easier? Part of me wants to go on a small vacation from work to get away, but I have nobody to go with or nowhere to go. I just feel very stuck, empty, and I have no ambition or goals anymore. Thank you for reading this all (almost 2500 words). I wish I could write papers this fast. If you have any questions or need clarification, please let me know. I need advice and support right now so I appreciate you reading this.
2024.04.28 21:31 littlemisstummyaches AITA For Not Inviting My Grandmother to my Graduation Party?
Hi Charlotte, I’m an avid fan and I’ve been watching for years, plus your vids are the only thing that has gotten me through the worst 18 years of my life, so without further ado here is a story full of fake names and bitches. So I (18F) am graduating in early June and to say I’m thrilled to be out of high school is an understatement. I’ve always been a bit of an ugly duckling nerdy kind of girl, especially within my immediate family such as my mom, Karmen, my aunt Noreen (her sister), my older cousin, Katelyn, my oldest sister and Karmen’s favorite first born golden baby, Jen. This opinion was made known by all of them when Katelyn would call me a “failed fix me baby” and terrorize me in every way you could imagine, constantly reminding me that my dad wanted three kids (im the youngest of four🤠) and that my mom only forced my dad into a fourth thinking he wouldn’t be able to leave her (he did anyway). My father has also confirmed this as did everyone else when they witnessed this themselves and said nothing. However, I am extremely extroverted by nature and love people (for the most part), and this is how I’ve met some of the best and worst people ever. Unfortunately, I moved going into my junior year to a new school, because Karmen couldn’t afford the rent in our old town and promised me a car if I agreed to moved as it was easier and cheaper (I also like didn’t actually have the option she just needed me to tell her family it was my choice so they would get off her ass).
To sum up a gruesome and horrible story, plus the other 17 years I lived with her (this about to be discussed event happened last June), an argument ensued about her not keeping up to her promises and once I accepted defeat, I begged her to leave my room, she didn’t leave, I threw my wallet, she then picked it up, brought it outside, and threw it across the street with all my money and my debit card in it, and then when I ran to get to it before she could, she grabbed me from behind and I ended up in the ER with a golf ball on my head, a concussion, and honestly, a little bit of a death wish. And even though I possess literal PHOTO EVIDENCE of the injuries and medical records, and an entire RESTRAINING ORDER, her entire family has listened to her and my grandma’s, Ellen, side of the story, who told my brother (also estranged) that after the event both of us were no longer welcome at her house, and she continued to ignore my existence every day and holiday afterward, even the annual Christmas Eve celebration. Because the petty potato queen herself taught me two important things, 1. Never stay anywhere you’re not wanted, and 2. The best way to seek petty revenge.
So, what did I do you ask? I sent the photos (printed out because it’s more personal that way) and a hand written, passive aggressive letter thanking Ellen for nothing and the monster she raised, and signed it with my new middle name, which used to be her, Ellen, but is no longer. After this, Jen called our dad (they have a very rocky relationship, plus she is just Karmen 2.0) and tore him a new one saying I threatened Ellen and was an insane bitch, told him I ruined Ellen’s Christmas by showing her those photos, AND the most important thing to them, and I quote “her name is ‘first Ellen’ not ‘first new middle name’”. First off, I did not threaten anyone, as I am only a little crazy, and I mostly move in the shadows like the wise judge Charlotte has taught me. BUT ALSO they were so pressed about the name changed because Ellen no longer had a name sake. After that, I have not spoken to Ellen or any other characters since, as I want to protect my peace and my sanity.
However, here is where the graduation party comes in. For my grad party, I invited my godmother, Judith (Ellen’s sister), and my Gruncle Danny (Ellen’s brother) whom I adored, and as far as I new at the time, were neutral. Yet, after sending my Evite link, as well as requesting not to tell Ellen the details of my grad party, I was greeted with a lecture on how the family was already broken enough and how Ellen was crushed by me cutting her off, and that I needed to invite Ellen, Jen, Karmen, Noreen, Katelyn, and the rest of my immediate family because they were family and it was wrong to pursue legal action against family. Followed by that bullshit, was either being ignored, left on read, or, if lucky, texted, that they were not attending because I was in the wrong. I truthfully only ask the wise Charlotte because my therapist told me not to let anger cloud my judgement, but I’m just starting to heal and I can’t handle seeing them there, and I couldn’t invite Karmen if someone held a gun to my head because she is,b and I stress this, ON TRIAL for CHIKD ABUSE, AND I have a RESTRAINING ORDER against her. This is also her second arrest for assault, and her twentieth run in with CPS.
Truthfully, I don’t want them there and I don’t think I’m wrong, but maybe I am making a mistake? Idk, truthfully, and this sounds cruel, after the crap they put me through I wouldn’t care if they all dropped dead tomorrow, and if that were to happen, then at least I wouldn’t be looking over my shoulder all the time. But maybe I’m wrong, so AITA?
I know this is pretty heavy, but whether yall think I’m a big butthole, I truly wouldn’t be on this earth if it weren’t for Charlotte, I quite literally live for her videos and she makes my day!
submitted by littlemisstummyaches to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
To sum up a gruesome and horrible story, plus the other 17 years I lived with her (this about to be discussed event happened last June), an argument ensued about her not keeping up to her promises and once I accepted defeat, I begged her to leave my room, she didn’t leave, I threw my wallet, she then picked it up, brought it outside, and threw it across the street with all my money and my debit card in it, and then when I ran to get to it before she could, she grabbed me from behind and I ended up in the ER with a golf ball on my head, a concussion, and honestly, a little bit of a death wish. And even though I possess literal PHOTO EVIDENCE of the injuries and medical records, and an entire RESTRAINING ORDER, her entire family has listened to her and my grandma’s, Ellen, side of the story, who told my brother (also estranged) that after the event both of us were no longer welcome at her house, and she continued to ignore my existence every day and holiday afterward, even the annual Christmas Eve celebration. Because the petty potato queen herself taught me two important things, 1. Never stay anywhere you’re not wanted, and 2. The best way to seek petty revenge.
So, what did I do you ask? I sent the photos (printed out because it’s more personal that way) and a hand written, passive aggressive letter thanking Ellen for nothing and the monster she raised, and signed it with my new middle name, which used to be her, Ellen, but is no longer. After this, Jen called our dad (they have a very rocky relationship, plus she is just Karmen 2.0) and tore him a new one saying I threatened Ellen and was an insane bitch, told him I ruined Ellen’s Christmas by showing her those photos, AND the most important thing to them, and I quote “her name is ‘first Ellen’ not ‘first new middle name’”. First off, I did not threaten anyone, as I am only a little crazy, and I mostly move in the shadows like the wise judge Charlotte has taught me. BUT ALSO they were so pressed about the name changed because Ellen no longer had a name sake. After that, I have not spoken to Ellen or any other characters since, as I want to protect my peace and my sanity.
However, here is where the graduation party comes in. For my grad party, I invited my godmother, Judith (Ellen’s sister), and my Gruncle Danny (Ellen’s brother) whom I adored, and as far as I new at the time, were neutral. Yet, after sending my Evite link, as well as requesting not to tell Ellen the details of my grad party, I was greeted with a lecture on how the family was already broken enough and how Ellen was crushed by me cutting her off, and that I needed to invite Ellen, Jen, Karmen, Noreen, Katelyn, and the rest of my immediate family because they were family and it was wrong to pursue legal action against family. Followed by that bullshit, was either being ignored, left on read, or, if lucky, texted, that they were not attending because I was in the wrong. I truthfully only ask the wise Charlotte because my therapist told me not to let anger cloud my judgement, but I’m just starting to heal and I can’t handle seeing them there, and I couldn’t invite Karmen if someone held a gun to my head because she is,b and I stress this, ON TRIAL for CHIKD ABUSE, AND I have a RESTRAINING ORDER against her. This is also her second arrest for assault, and her twentieth run in with CPS.
Truthfully, I don’t want them there and I don’t think I’m wrong, but maybe I am making a mistake? Idk, truthfully, and this sounds cruel, after the crap they put me through I wouldn’t care if they all dropped dead tomorrow, and if that were to happen, then at least I wouldn’t be looking over my shoulder all the time. But maybe I’m wrong, so AITA?
I know this is pretty heavy, but whether yall think I’m a big butthole, I truly wouldn’t be on this earth if it weren’t for Charlotte, I quite literally live for her videos and she makes my day!
2024.04.28 21:20 DBurner16733 My “girlfriend” was secretly engaged with him and I became a homewrecker
Hi, my name is D [24]. Let me provide some quick background on me. I work in marketing and social media in the recovery field. I was very successful in school (graduated 2nd in my class in high school and very successful in college). I’ve been pretty introverted my whole life, I am a high functioning autistic, but most (to be honest all) people can’t tell unless I say it. I tend to do better when surrounded by other people, I feed off them in a good way. I am a big video gamer, I can be really funny and extroverted once I am comfortable but I have a hard time doing that. I get lonely at night and have really bad anxiety at times. A lot of my friends I don’t live close to after college, so I spend most of my time working or gaming. This story is heavy, so if I miss anything or if anything’s confusing - please ask away. About 6 months prior to this, I broke up with my girlfriend of two and half years. One of the hardest things I have ever done. I wanted to break it off because I knew I wanted kids and she didn’t (on top of other long term goals). There was more to it, but that’s the most important. This choice had no short term benefit, but I did it for a better future for me. It was a really healthy relationship, she was great - but I wanted my forever person. I promised myself my next partner would be that (or hopefully would be that). We are still friends to this day.
My main game used to be World of Warcraft. I needed help with something and I asked around and met a girl named Samantha (Sam) Ingrid [24]. Total circumstance. She was incredible. I have done online dating/LDR before, I didn’t want it again, but this sort of just happened. I didn’t ask for it. She lives in Kentucky. I live in New England.
We talked nonstop, we had great healthy communication, we had a lot of similar interests and goals. It was very flirty from the start and we had a ton of chemistry. We could call, leave voice memos, and talk all day and night. It was very hyper focused and intense compared to the start of most relationships. We talked about dating and both wanted that soon, but decided it would be best to wait to meet up. A few weeks into talking, she let me know she had 3 daughters. She didn’t let me know at first because I guess we weren’t serious enough. I didn’t care after thinking about it and was willing to try it out and see how it goes. Things went great, we agreed we would begin dating before meeting up because we both were so into each other. Next few weeks go by and things are great. We were talking about meeting up soon (no set plans), but she’s starting a new job and it would be easier to meet. We would talk and play all day. She introduced me to an online friend named J. J and her used to flirt back in middle school days, but never dated, she said. He was just a friend. She didn’t want him to know about us dating so he wouldn’t feel like a third wheel. I was okay with this at first because I know how that feels. But I would always get into my head and get a little jealous, but she reassured me they were just friends. But, we all had a ton of fun together and had a small friend group. Also, Sam and I to clarify (to my knowledge) were fully boyfriend and girlfriend.
One day, it appears I’m randomly blocked out of nowhere.. When she blocked me, I reached out to our group chat while anxiously spiraling. He noticed I really wasn’t okay so he messaged me privately, asking if I was dating Sam. He told me the truth.
Her nickname “Sam” is true, but it was a different first name and last name. Sam actually has 4 kids (she didn’t mention she also had a son) and she’s engaged. The youngest 2 of the children are with her fiancé. Her son does not live with her and her fiance “C.” I went through her Facebook and it seems she was acting herself to me, but just keeping any secret involving him. They have been engaged for multiple years. He showed me her Facebook. He explained back when they were teenagers (14), she catfished him under the name “Anna” and they dated for almost a year. One day, she just vanished. Two years later, she came back on Facebook and apologized. They were acquaintances, but when she was on WoW, she reached out and they were friendly and started playing together. He forgave her because they were so young and figured she would never do it again. He said he’s on my side and was also mad because she told him that I was just a flirty friend and to ignore my flirting. So she lied to us both to keep us at bay, but at the same time wanted us all to be friends. Really manic behavior.
She called us very drunk the next day and I had to pry the truth from her. She wouldn’t admit it on her own. C (the fiance) saw all of the messages and they got into a big fight. They ended up drinking and she just kept drinking because of the pain. Her best friend took her to the mental hospital. She also told J that C had choked her out (and provided a photo), but once sober and a few days later said that was C’s brother and not him. I still don’t know if this is fully true, but I do have a photo of the choke marks.
She called me in the hospital (I can confirm she was really there and a patient) and things seemed to be a little better. She gets diagnosed with Bipolar and Psychosis. At first she wanted to end it with C forever. I felt good about this because I loved her, and I could reestablish boundaries and if she wanted me back in her life. A day later, she told me after thinking about it more, she’s decided she doesn’t know what she wants. This hurt a ton because I had been so good to her. I never yelled even after she lied to me about a ton, I was so respectful, and I could tell how happy she was around me. She said it was so easy to talk with me. When she got out, she didn’t respond to my messages.I had J check Facebook (FB) to see if she was online and she was. She messages him that she’s out, but to keep it on the “down low” from me. This pisses him off and they get into a fight where he calls her out and they block each other on everything and I get blocked on a few things and she messages me I was working with him to get information from her and it’s “triggering” for her. This is not entirely true and we talk a little and she says she was planning on calling when C (fiance) wasn’t around. I asked why didn’t you just let me know that and she dodges that. Eventually, she says she will call when he’s not around, but never does.
It was really rough for me. I feel I lost all sense of agency and control. When I thought I would be able to set boundaries, she just vanished with no care for me. I cried on the phone to J every night worried sick about her. And she just cut me out like that. I broke down with an anxiety attack a few days later and almost had to go somewhere. Eventually, I found a therapist and I am still talking with him. A week passes and I saw she was on WoW and she was on for the first time since everything. I asked J and he said I should reach out because I wasn’t blocked and get some closure I never got. She responded and we talked for four hours in the game. Part of me wanted to reach out because on social media, it seemed she/her family blamed everything on her diagnoses. But, I knew if she never got caught she would keep going and going. And I was right. She confirmed she chose him, but we agreed to talk more if she reached out first. I made a burner discord and she would uninstall and reinstall discord if he wasn’t around.
They continued their unhealthy relationship (they fight a ton, their son doesn’t live with them, total mess as a reminder) as we talked. It was good for a few days she said between them, but eventually their toxic thing went back to toxic. A week or two passes of us talking and calling and now video calling (I can confirm she is really the person on FB and all images she has EVER sent, were really of her). She told me she’d like to be with me and end things with him. I said okay I’d be interested in exploring that but we would need to be friends after she dumps him for a bit so we can rebuild trust. I knew I really fucking loved this girl and would move mountains for her. We talk all the time (when he’s not around) and whenever he’s not around we call and talk as much as possible. She even makes up excuses to leave the house so we can talk. A few weeks pass and they still are fighting. She gets drunk one night and insists I add her on snapchat. I do and he finds it going through her phone later that night. He doesn’t know it’s me but it causes them to argue more. She confirms she still wants to be with me and is taking steps towards that. This past week her communication has been way worse, we talk way less, and she seems more focused on hiding me, then my feelings and wellbeing. She is very busy with the new job and that’s our primary time to talk. As the week progresses - for the first time ever, she is also leaving me to read or ghosting me. Either because he’s around and he can’t see or because she’s just not as interested anymore. I know she's not mentally well. But I love her and it’s hard to let go, especially not having many people in my life. A boundary I set is to please not post him on your story because I don’t want to see. On Friday, they went on a date and she posted to him like 6 times. It felt so rude and disrespectful to me. All of this, while ignoring me because he’s around. She told me she'd be back later that night two days in a row and she never showed up so I was worried. On Saturday, she leaves me delivered all day and then opens my message and blocks me. This hurt because I set three boundaries when we started talking again - don’t use me, don’t hurt, and don’t leave me for good if you choose that without telling me why. And she broke all 3 of those at that time. This morning she reached out on the last application I am not blocked on (Discord burner) and said this before blocking me. She said, “I wanted to talk to you about this. We went to dinner and had a long talk. I chose him. I think in the back of my mind, I was always going to choose him. I love him with everything in me. And I’ve not been very good for him. I should have kept it strict and gave you the closure you wanted and that’s it. You are a great person, D. You will find someone to give you their all, and that’s not me.” I was glad she let me know, but it hurts that she wasn’t even sorry to me for anything. I know it was honest and it really hurts, but is also really telling she didn’t apologize to me and just cares about his feelings. She has fully cut communication now and probably forever. I am so jealous of C, but I am not after seeing how she can lie. I doubt I would be able to fully trust her in a relationship anyways. My therapist says we all have a sense of ego and that’s why I have had a hard time letting go, also a lack of closure. This was a little closure, but not exactly. Does she love me? Did she just use me? What exactly changed? I will never get answers to these and this is why it’s so hard for me to process (even over that 2 and a half year relationship with my ex).
I feel stuck, I feel devoid of purpose, I’m not the person I used to be. Not anymore. She broke me. I’d be open to moving on, but all I do is work and I’m never out of the house. I don’t even want to fold laundry or eat. A lot of my friends live far away, or just have moved on since college. But idk if I’m ready for something new, I’m so jealous of him but at the same time not because she keeps cheating on him with me. It just hurts being her backup boyfriend or whatever. I feel so sad and so lonely all the time. I guess I am here for advice or just your perspectives.
Should I reach out and tell C we have been talking again (I doubt he knows)? Part of me wants to because I’d want to know, but I feel it would be more revenge on her then wanting the best for him. My therapist says I shouldn’t because for once I should just protect my heart and not worry about everyone else over myself. If I do that, I potentially rehash a lot of shit. How can I move on easier? Part of me wants to go on a small vacation from work to get away, but I have nobody to go with or nowhere to go. I just feel very stuck, empty, and I have no ambition or goals anymore. Thank you for reading this all (almost 2500 words). I wish I could write papers this fast. If you have any questions or need clarification, please let me know. I need advice and support right now so I appreciate you reading this.
submitted by DBurner16733 to TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
My main game used to be World of Warcraft. I needed help with something and I asked around and met a girl named Samantha (Sam) Ingrid [24]. Total circumstance. She was incredible. I have done online dating/LDR before, I didn’t want it again, but this sort of just happened. I didn’t ask for it. She lives in Kentucky. I live in New England.
We talked nonstop, we had great healthy communication, we had a lot of similar interests and goals. It was very flirty from the start and we had a ton of chemistry. We could call, leave voice memos, and talk all day and night. It was very hyper focused and intense compared to the start of most relationships. We talked about dating and both wanted that soon, but decided it would be best to wait to meet up. A few weeks into talking, she let me know she had 3 daughters. She didn’t let me know at first because I guess we weren’t serious enough. I didn’t care after thinking about it and was willing to try it out and see how it goes. Things went great, we agreed we would begin dating before meeting up because we both were so into each other. Next few weeks go by and things are great. We were talking about meeting up soon (no set plans), but she’s starting a new job and it would be easier to meet. We would talk and play all day. She introduced me to an online friend named J. J and her used to flirt back in middle school days, but never dated, she said. He was just a friend. She didn’t want him to know about us dating so he wouldn’t feel like a third wheel. I was okay with this at first because I know how that feels. But I would always get into my head and get a little jealous, but she reassured me they were just friends. But, we all had a ton of fun together and had a small friend group. Also, Sam and I to clarify (to my knowledge) were fully boyfriend and girlfriend.
One day, it appears I’m randomly blocked out of nowhere.. When she blocked me, I reached out to our group chat while anxiously spiraling. He noticed I really wasn’t okay so he messaged me privately, asking if I was dating Sam. He told me the truth.
Her nickname “Sam” is true, but it was a different first name and last name. Sam actually has 4 kids (she didn’t mention she also had a son) and she’s engaged. The youngest 2 of the children are with her fiancé. Her son does not live with her and her fiance “C.” I went through her Facebook and it seems she was acting herself to me, but just keeping any secret involving him. They have been engaged for multiple years. He showed me her Facebook. He explained back when they were teenagers (14), she catfished him under the name “Anna” and they dated for almost a year. One day, she just vanished. Two years later, she came back on Facebook and apologized. They were acquaintances, but when she was on WoW, she reached out and they were friendly and started playing together. He forgave her because they were so young and figured she would never do it again. He said he’s on my side and was also mad because she told him that I was just a flirty friend and to ignore my flirting. So she lied to us both to keep us at bay, but at the same time wanted us all to be friends. Really manic behavior.
She called us very drunk the next day and I had to pry the truth from her. She wouldn’t admit it on her own. C (the fiance) saw all of the messages and they got into a big fight. They ended up drinking and she just kept drinking because of the pain. Her best friend took her to the mental hospital. She also told J that C had choked her out (and provided a photo), but once sober and a few days later said that was C’s brother and not him. I still don’t know if this is fully true, but I do have a photo of the choke marks.
She called me in the hospital (I can confirm she was really there and a patient) and things seemed to be a little better. She gets diagnosed with Bipolar and Psychosis. At first she wanted to end it with C forever. I felt good about this because I loved her, and I could reestablish boundaries and if she wanted me back in her life. A day later, she told me after thinking about it more, she’s decided she doesn’t know what she wants. This hurt a ton because I had been so good to her. I never yelled even after she lied to me about a ton, I was so respectful, and I could tell how happy she was around me. She said it was so easy to talk with me. When she got out, she didn’t respond to my messages.I had J check Facebook (FB) to see if she was online and she was. She messages him that she’s out, but to keep it on the “down low” from me. This pisses him off and they get into a fight where he calls her out and they block each other on everything and I get blocked on a few things and she messages me I was working with him to get information from her and it’s “triggering” for her. This is not entirely true and we talk a little and she says she was planning on calling when C (fiance) wasn’t around. I asked why didn’t you just let me know that and she dodges that. Eventually, she says she will call when he’s not around, but never does.
It was really rough for me. I feel I lost all sense of agency and control. When I thought I would be able to set boundaries, she just vanished with no care for me. I cried on the phone to J every night worried sick about her. And she just cut me out like that. I broke down with an anxiety attack a few days later and almost had to go somewhere. Eventually, I found a therapist and I am still talking with him. A week passes and I saw she was on WoW and she was on for the first time since everything. I asked J and he said I should reach out because I wasn’t blocked and get some closure I never got. She responded and we talked for four hours in the game. Part of me wanted to reach out because on social media, it seemed she/her family blamed everything on her diagnoses. But, I knew if she never got caught she would keep going and going. And I was right. She confirmed she chose him, but we agreed to talk more if she reached out first. I made a burner discord and she would uninstall and reinstall discord if he wasn’t around.
They continued their unhealthy relationship (they fight a ton, their son doesn’t live with them, total mess as a reminder) as we talked. It was good for a few days she said between them, but eventually their toxic thing went back to toxic. A week or two passes of us talking and calling and now video calling (I can confirm she is really the person on FB and all images she has EVER sent, were really of her). She told me she’d like to be with me and end things with him. I said okay I’d be interested in exploring that but we would need to be friends after she dumps him for a bit so we can rebuild trust. I knew I really fucking loved this girl and would move mountains for her. We talk all the time (when he’s not around) and whenever he’s not around we call and talk as much as possible. She even makes up excuses to leave the house so we can talk. A few weeks pass and they still are fighting. She gets drunk one night and insists I add her on snapchat. I do and he finds it going through her phone later that night. He doesn’t know it’s me but it causes them to argue more. She confirms she still wants to be with me and is taking steps towards that. This past week her communication has been way worse, we talk way less, and she seems more focused on hiding me, then my feelings and wellbeing. She is very busy with the new job and that’s our primary time to talk. As the week progresses - for the first time ever, she is also leaving me to read or ghosting me. Either because he’s around and he can’t see or because she’s just not as interested anymore. I know she's not mentally well. But I love her and it’s hard to let go, especially not having many people in my life. A boundary I set is to please not post him on your story because I don’t want to see. On Friday, they went on a date and she posted to him like 6 times. It felt so rude and disrespectful to me. All of this, while ignoring me because he’s around. She told me she'd be back later that night two days in a row and she never showed up so I was worried. On Saturday, she leaves me delivered all day and then opens my message and blocks me. This hurt because I set three boundaries when we started talking again - don’t use me, don’t hurt, and don’t leave me for good if you choose that without telling me why. And she broke all 3 of those at that time. This morning she reached out on the last application I am not blocked on (Discord burner) and said this before blocking me. She said, “I wanted to talk to you about this. We went to dinner and had a long talk. I chose him. I think in the back of my mind, I was always going to choose him. I love him with everything in me. And I’ve not been very good for him. I should have kept it strict and gave you the closure you wanted and that’s it. You are a great person, D. You will find someone to give you their all, and that’s not me.” I was glad she let me know, but it hurts that she wasn’t even sorry to me for anything. I know it was honest and it really hurts, but is also really telling she didn’t apologize to me and just cares about his feelings. She has fully cut communication now and probably forever. I am so jealous of C, but I am not after seeing how she can lie. I doubt I would be able to fully trust her in a relationship anyways. My therapist says we all have a sense of ego and that’s why I have had a hard time letting go, also a lack of closure. This was a little closure, but not exactly. Does she love me? Did she just use me? What exactly changed? I will never get answers to these and this is why it’s so hard for me to process (even over that 2 and a half year relationship with my ex).
I feel stuck, I feel devoid of purpose, I’m not the person I used to be. Not anymore. She broke me. I’d be open to moving on, but all I do is work and I’m never out of the house. I don’t even want to fold laundry or eat. A lot of my friends live far away, or just have moved on since college. But idk if I’m ready for something new, I’m so jealous of him but at the same time not because she keeps cheating on him with me. It just hurts being her backup boyfriend or whatever. I feel so sad and so lonely all the time. I guess I am here for advice or just your perspectives.
Should I reach out and tell C we have been talking again (I doubt he knows)? Part of me wants to because I’d want to know, but I feel it would be more revenge on her then wanting the best for him. My therapist says I shouldn’t because for once I should just protect my heart and not worry about everyone else over myself. If I do that, I potentially rehash a lot of shit. How can I move on easier? Part of me wants to go on a small vacation from work to get away, but I have nobody to go with or nowhere to go. I just feel very stuck, empty, and I have no ambition or goals anymore. Thank you for reading this all (almost 2500 words). I wish I could write papers this fast. If you have any questions or need clarification, please let me know. I need advice and support right now so I appreciate you reading this.
2024.04.28 21:01 Much-Banana-949 Wahoo Core - Bearing Replacement Guide - Part 2
 | This is part 2 of the guide to replacing flywheel bearings on Wahoo Kickr Core. submitted by Much-Banana-949 to wahoofitness [link] [comments] To read part 1 go to this post: Guide - Part One To read part 3 go to this post: Guide - Part Three Continuing from part 1: 4) Remove the tensioner (plate attached to the bearings) and remove the belt. Now it's a good time to clean the belt with a belt tensioner spray. This will help to remove any traces of oil from the belt that can cause slippage and/or squeaking noise, and also will alow to extend the life of the belt. I use Manol Belt Tensioner 9897 spray. The belt should be now removed. Inspect the belt for any damage and clean it. 5) Remove the plastic back cover. The cover is attached with two short Allen screws to the trainer. Two Screws attaching the back cover to the trainer. 6) Allign the Allen screw on the pulley wheel with the cutout in the frame. Loosen the allen screw. Getting ready to remove the pulley wheel. 7) Remove the screw that attaches the pulley wheel to the flywheel axle. You need 14mm socket key. If you need to prevent the flywheel from rotating while doing it, you can use the belt to hold the flywheel in place. Now you should be able to remove the pulley wheel. If it is stuck, you can use a standard crank puller. On Kickr Core, the pulley has thread inside that allows to insert/attach the crank puller. I should note that the pulley is made out of rather quite soft aluminium, and thus it should be handled as gently as possible in order to avoid any damage. Removing the pulley screw. Note that the small Allen screw is already loosened. You can hold the flywheel in place by using the belt, when removing the pulley screw. Aluminium pulley wheel and its screw. 8) Remove the metal key holding the flywheel axle and they pulley in place. Depending on how much the key is stuck here, you may need to use a mallet or even a screwdriver + mallet combination to get it unstuck. Remove the metal key The tip of the axle withou the key. Metal key. 9) Remove the flywheel. If it does not move, use your rubber mallet by sensibly hitting the end of the axle. Make sure not to damage the white and black sticker on the inside of the flywheel. This sticker allows the machine to read how fast the flywheel spins. The flywheel removed from the frame. make sure not to damage the white&black sticker. The first bearing is now exposed. The inside of the Wahoo trainer, that is normally enclosed by the flywheel. The second bearing is now exposed. 10) Chances are that the bearings are either stuck inside of the cast iron frame, or one of the bearings is still stuck on the axle of the flywheel. To remove the bearings from the frame/axle you will need to use the appropriate bearing extractor. In this case I needed to use the bearing extractor that allows to remove the bearings from the frame. The removal needs to be done very carefully on the inside of the machine (the side where the flywheel normally sits), to make sure that the electronics are not damaged. Please also note that there is an aluminium rod/pipe sitting between the two bearings inside of the iron frame. Removing the frst bearing from the frame. Removing the second bearing from the frame. Be careful here not to damge the PCB. Old bearings and the aluminium rod that sat between the bearings. 11) Clean all the metal elements. Chances are that there will be a fair amount of rust on the axle and some oxidation on the aluminium elements. Try to clean these as much as possible. When clean, grease the axle, the frame where the bearings sits and also the inside of the aluminium rod/pipe. The grease will not only protect the elements from rusting too much, but also will allow for easier disassembly in case you need to replace the bearings again in the future. 12) Time to place new bearings iside of the frame. To make this easier, the new bearings should be freezing cold (it is best to store them overnight in a freezer before this repair). The bearings need to be pushed into the frame on both sides. Chances are that you do not have the dedicated tool to do this, so a simple but very effective alternative is to use a threaded bolt (at least 10 or 12 cm) with nuts and some washers of the same size as the diameter of the bearings. I use washers with the inside diameter of 12mm and the outside diameter of 37mm, which allow me to push the bearings into the frame without any risk of damaging them. Place the aluminium rod inside of the frame and the two bearings on each side of the frame. Put the threaded bolt throught the rod and the bearings with two washers on the outside of the bearings. Use a nut and a wrench to carefully tighten the bearings into the frame. make sure that the bearings are pushed into the frame at the right angle. The \"device\" I use to push the new bearings in to the frame. The washer is used to distribute the pressure evenly. This is a photo tken after most of the bearing has aalready been instered into the frame. The new bearing sits already ion the frame behind the washer which you can see in the photo. The nut and the wrench are used to tighten the bearings/washers into the frame. 13) We are pretty much done! All is left is to assmble the device with the steps followed exactly in the reversed order to the described disassembly process. 14) Carefully put the flywheel back into the machine. The gap between the flywheel and the case should be ca. 2mm. If there is more space than that you can use a mallet to drive the flywheel closer to the frame, or you can simply tighten the bearings a bit more as shown in step 12. The gap between the flywheel and the case should be ca. 2mm. [End of part 2. Please read part 3 to continue...] |
2024.04.28 20:30 Trandromeda Trip Report: Golden Route during sakura season and a wedding in Tokyo
Recently got back from an incredible 19 days in Japan. I’m really feeling the post-Japan blues now, but writing about the trip and sharing what I learned feels like a nice way to honour the memories I made.
I (35M) travelled to Japan with my partner (41M) from Canada. We were there from March 26 to April 13 - these dates were “chosen” for us because we were attending a wedding in Tokyo. We got to wear hakamas, walk in the procession at Meiji Jingu, and observe a Shinto wedding ceremony first-hand.
We did the Golden Route + Kanazawa, however, many travelers have already written about this route so I’ll try to offer new stories to interested readers instead.
Regarding the JR West pass, I learned that you can’t make online seat reservations with it after you pick up the physical pass. You must use a specific machine or visit a ticket desk. To use the machines, find the ones with the green head boards and then select the option that mentions using a ‘discount ticket’ or something like that. Insert your pass and choose the destination and train you want to take. You’ll then get your pass back along with the printed tickets. Fortunately, there’s usually an attendant there to help you out.
I will miss having bento on the train while watching the scenery pass by (and listening to Fujii Kaze, haha).
Hotel: Route-Inn Grand Tokyo Asakusabashi
We chose this area because it was budget-friendly and gave us easy access to all the places we planned on visiting. A lot of people recommend staying in Asakusa, but we found Asakusabashi to be even quieter and cheaper.
Highlights:
Hotel: Yuen Shinjuku
Atmospheric hotel. Situated on a quiet street in Shinjuku while remaining within walking distance to all the fun places. Onsen on the top floor with amazing city views.
Highlight: The wedding
Hotels: Mount View Hakone and Onyado Nono Osaka Yodoyabashi
The hotel in Hakone was itself the highlight. This one was a bit higher up in the mountains, but still easily accessible by bus. Top-notch hospitality and amenities. Our Osaka hotel was also comfortable and had an onsen and was located in a convenient area - not in the thick of things, but close to the important metro lines.
Highlights:
Hotel: TUNESTAY Kyoto
A modern hotel that also feels like a hostel with its communal amenities and young vibe. Rest assured, the rooms are private and include your own bathroom. Minutes away from Kyoto Station and situated on the same street as the sightseeing buses.
Highlights:
Hotel: Hotel Kanazawa Zoushi
Our second favourite hotel of the trip. We had the warmest reception here, with complimentary tea and dango provided at check-in. The room was very comfortable, while the bathrooms were surprisingly spacious.
Highlights:
Hotel: Tokyu REI Kichijoji
Standard hotel with few frills, but great price and location. We chose it because it was a last minute decision to switch from Akihabara to Kichijoji for our last night.
Highlights:
Now that some time has passed since departing Japan, the emotions that swept over me in that country have left a deep mark. Like a reminder of what I’m chasing after in this life, Japan excited me, fulfilled me, and left me wanting more. I know that being Japanese in Japan is an entirely different experience, but I still yearn to experience even just a sliver of that life.
Thanks for reading and I hope you got something out of this trip report. If you’re interested in seeing some of the photos I took on this trip, I’ve shared them on my Instagram account, which is the same handle as my Reddit username.
submitted by Trandromeda to JapanTravel [link] [comments]
I (35M) travelled to Japan with my partner (41M) from Canada. We were there from March 26 to April 13 - these dates were “chosen” for us because we were attending a wedding in Tokyo. We got to wear hakamas, walk in the procession at Meiji Jingu, and observe a Shinto wedding ceremony first-hand.
We did the Golden Route + Kanazawa, however, many travelers have already written about this route so I’ll try to offer new stories to interested readers instead.
About us and high-level trip summary:
- Our entire itinerary consisted of: Tokyo (+ trip to Kawaguchiko), Hakone, Osaka (+ trips to Himeji and Nara), Kyoto (+ trip to Hiroshima), Kanazawa (+ trip to Shirakawa-go), and then Tokyo again for the final night in Kichijoji.
- Stayed at a total of 7 hotels and made good use of the luggage delivery service. Usually took 1 day, but sometimes 2, so plan ahead.
- We got the JR West All Area Pass, which let us go to Hiroshima, Himeji, and Kanazawa from Osaka/Kyoto (plus a few other small trips). Not only was this worth it for us in terms of monetary value, but the built-in flexibility came in clutch i.e taking the train at our leisure and feeling much less stress over seat reservations or waiting in line. I used this website to help me determine which pass to get: https://www.japan-guide.com/railpass/
- As mentioned earlier, we attended our close friends’ wedding in Tokyo, which took place at Meiji Jingu and Meiji Kinenkan. It was a truly special and once-in-a-lifetime event. Being photographed by the sightseers at Meiji Jingu was also an interesting experience!
- We went out on weekend nights and checked out the popular places in Shinjuku Nichome (i.e the gay village). While they were fun, you need to dig deeper to find the places that make Nichome stand out from other gaybourhoods around the world.
- Did not make a lot of food reservations because we read how easy it was to find good food around every corner. We found this to be largely true and ate well on our trip (including many konbini meals and bento boxes on the train), but we look forward to diving deeper into the culinary world on trip #2.
- One of my favourite phrases was: Nani ga oishii desu ka? It means ‘What is tasty here?’ and is like asking the restaurant for their recommendation. I never got a bad result with this question.
- The ryokan, onsen, and kaiseki from our 1 night stay in Hakone were all amazing. It was probably our favourite room and meal on the trip. We would certainly return to Hakone and stay 2 nights next time.
- Saw a geisha performance in Kanazawa that was geared towards visitors and it was so fun and fascinating. My partner got to play taiko drums with a geisha!
- The big tourist must-sees were nice, but I’ll fondly remember all the times we just wandered the streets, witnessing small slices of other people’s lives.
- Kichijoji ended up being our favourite area of Tokyo.
- I planned this trip meticulously, but many items still ended up falling through or needed to be re-arranged due to various reasons (fatigue, sickness, timing mistakes). I think you will need to make peace with this and be prepared to be flexible with your plans, outside of pre-booked reservations.
Detailed report:
Before the flight
There were a few things we did before the trip began to help us out:- Picked up a Wise card, allowing us to withdraw cash without paying extra fees. The fees can really add up.
- Reserved a pocket wifi router for pick-up at Narita.
- Made reservations for popular activities, namely the Ghibli Museum and USJ Express Pass.
- Adjusted our bodies to the new timezone a few days before our flight using an app called Timeshifter.
- Installed the Japan Travel by NAVITIME app, which I preferred over Google Maps when it came to anything involving the shinkansen.
- Watched Perfect Days, a meditative film that follows a toilet cleaner in Tokyo. It got us even more excited for Japan, plus the washrooms featured in this film are real and inspired us to look out for them in real life!
Landing in Japan
- After passing through customs, we picked up the pocket wifi router we had reserved. There are multiple drop-off locations, so you can pick up at one location and drop off at another. We chose the plan that gave us unlimited data for 3 weeks and it was worth it.
- I wanted to get our IC cards, but the line at the JR ticket office was so long that we just opted to buy individual tickets to take the Keisei Access Express. If you are going to be staying near any major metro stations (Ueno, Tokyo, Shinjuku, a few others), you can go there for your tickets because the lines seem to be shorter and you’ll ideally be rested by then.
- I got my IC card at Ueno Station. On the ground floor, at the JR travel centre, you can line up for the Suica. However, I really wanted the cute Pasmo Passport instead. It took some asking around, but we eventually found the ticket office in the metro station, which is underground and had no line at all. We showed our passports and picked up our Pasmo cards without issue. It’s cash only.
- I also purchased an eSIM from Airalo. It was my first time doing so and I found the process fairly straightforward. I only got 3 gigabytes of data, which was for situations where I might find myself separated from my partner (who held onto the pocket wifi). Ended the trip with over 1gb remaining.
- On our first night, we wandered and found some restaurants in the alleyways behind our train station; we ate delicious ramen for around ¥800. It’s true what they say about your first night being a write-off, however, so don’t expect to do much else.
A note about the trains and ticketing system
I loved taking the shinkansen, they were so comfortable and predictable. The ticketing system, however... that’s a different story entirely. I think everyone just has to go through it like a rite of passage. I also couldn’t get SmartEx to work, which would’ve saved us a lot of hassle.Regarding the JR West pass, I learned that you can’t make online seat reservations with it after you pick up the physical pass. You must use a specific machine or visit a ticket desk. To use the machines, find the ones with the green head boards and then select the option that mentions using a ‘discount ticket’ or something like that. Insert your pass and choose the destination and train you want to take. You’ll then get your pass back along with the printed tickets. Fortunately, there’s usually an attendant there to help you out.
I will miss having bento on the train while watching the scenery pass by (and listening to Fujii Kaze, haha).
March 26 - 28: A gentle introduction to Japan.
Places: Asakusa, Akihabara, Ueno, Ginza, and ChiyodaHotel: Route-Inn Grand Tokyo Asakusabashi
We chose this area because it was budget-friendly and gave us easy access to all the places we planned on visiting. A lot of people recommend staying in Asakusa, but we found Asakusabashi to be even quieter and cheaper.
Highlights:
- Itoya Ginza is a stationary lover’s paradise. Each of the ten floors is immacuately curated, filled with beautiful things to look at and use. If that wasn’t enough, a nature-inspired soundtrack plays the entire time to really put you in the mood. I picked up a Shupatto bag and liked it so much (great design and durability) that I went back and bought a few more as gifts.
- I found a place called the Okuno Building and it felt like a hidden gem for anyone who’s into art and architecture. Try to time your visit with when Room 306 is open: https://room306project.tokyo/about-en/
- Stepping outside of Tokyo Station, you feel small and the grandeur of Tokyo really hits you. Across the station in the building with the Beams store, there’s an observation deck that offers a gorgeous nighttime view of the area. There’s also a food hall with a great energy and vibe.
- About 10-15 minutes walk north of Akihabara station is an artisanal market tucked away beneath the train tracks. It was quiet and cute with a lot of interesting shops. Many handmade giftable items to be found: https://www.cntraveler.com/shops/tokyo/aki-oka-artisan
- I had a reservation for the Final Fantasy Eorzea Cafe in Akihabara - it was something I had wanted to do for a long time, though it felt underwhelming in the end. The food and drinks were photogenic, but forgettable. There are a number of cafes like these around and I imagine the gimmick is similar in each (at least, the ones run by Pasela Resorts). Still, no regrets!
- Most of the hotels we stayed at did not allow use of stairs except in emergencies. This was usually fine, but during one busy morning rush we waited a ludicrously long time to get down from the 4th floor! We became acquainted with a charming Japanese woman as a result of waiting for the elevator, so there was a silver lining.
March 29 - April 3: Unforgettable memories made over a weekend.
Places: Shinjuku, Shibuya, teamLab, Kawaguchiko, and the weddingHotel: Yuen Shinjuku
Atmospheric hotel. Situated on a quiet street in Shinjuku while remaining within walking distance to all the fun places. Onsen on the top floor with amazing city views.
Highlight: The wedding
- To prepare for the wedding, we had a fitting at a kimono rental shop (Vasara) along with some friends. The men in the group wore hakamas, which are like trousers reserved for very formal occasions. Wearing a kimono and hakama was interesting - there’s a lot of tucking and wrapping under those robes, forcing you to stand straight while also having your organs squeezed in. But damn did we feel and look good in them, haha.
- The wedding itself was one of the most gorgeous and well-organized weddings I’ve ever been to and I’m still in a bit of awe. It began in the early morning with a Shinto ceremony at Meiji Jingu. The ritualistic garments worn by the bride and groom as well as the attendants were beautiful. After conducting the tea ceremony in a semi-private reception area, we gathered into a two-column procession and slowly walked to the main ceremonial site deeper within Meiji Jingu, led by a priest and two shrine maidens. Everything was solemn and immaculate. You can read about what these ceremonies are like online, but there were a lot of rituals, rules, and even audience participation e.g. standing, sitting, clapping, and drinking sake. Being photographed by hundreds of people while walking to and from the ceremonial site was also something I didn’t think I’d ever get to experience - I imagine this is what a celebrity feels like!
- The reception afterwards was at Meiji Kinenkan and followed a more familiar Western reception format, with an MC, music, multi-course meal, and live performances (including mochi pounding and spectacular Japanese Bollywood dancers) - but no dancing for the participants, haha. There was also an after-party at an Indian restaurant in Shibuya and it was a much more casual and colourful affair.
- Nichome - one could easily miss this entire neighbourhood during the day, but boy does it come alive at night. We visited most of the major bars: Eagle, Eagle Blue, Dragon Men, Arty Farty, etc. What immediately struck me about those places was how similar they felt to bars back home i.e Toronto. There were lots of foreigners and the vibe and music reminded me of our own bars. It’s still a fun time and you can meet other travellers if you put yourself out there.
- When I said that one needs to dig deeper to find what makes Nichome stand out from other gaybourhoods, I was referring to the hundreds of tiny bars in the basements and upper levels of the buildings all around Nichome. To really get something out of this experience though, you need to either: i) speak Japanese, or ii) be accompanied by someone who can speak Japanese. I was lucky to fall into the latter group and had a few nights of uproarious karaoke, bantering with drag queens, and intimate conversations with bar staff.
- teamLab Planets was mind-blowing and I highly recommend anyone go at least once. The less you know about it, the better. The area around teamLab Planets (which includes the famous Toyosu Market) was also pleasant to walk around. In fact, we had a picnic by the water with a clear view of the Tokyo skyline.
- I find malls in Asia to be on another level and the one we visited - Shibuya Parco - was no exception. There was a large terrace on the top floor with expansive views of the city and the basement housed an impressive food hall with a wide range of cuisines. The floors in-between had many unique offerings as well, even if only to window shop.
- We found one of the washrooms from the film Perfect Days, the one in Nabeshima Shoto Park. The exterior was incredibly designed, though the interiors were just fine. The park also houses a tranquil pond that was nice for a stroll around and the neighbourhood itself was enjoyable to walk through.
- Got my hair cut at a place called Assort Tokyo with English-speaking hair stylists - shout out to Yutsuki who gave me one of the best cuts I’ve ever had!
- Karaoke Manekineko is prevalent in Japan and we had the fortune of going to one with our Japanese friends. It was fun, affordable, and equipped with all our favourite songs (both Japanese and English). Indulge in the bottomless drink machines - their corn soup is a best seller and after trying it myself, I can see why!
- Seeing Mt. Fuji in person is an out-of-this-world experience - pictures don’t do it justice. However, the popular places we visited (Chureito Pagoda, northern shore of the lake) were extremely busy despite the lack of cherry blossoms e.g. the queue to access the observation deck at Chureito was 1 hour long. Getting around Kawaguchiko also wasn’t easy or cheap - the buses were packed and unpredictable and taking a taxi across town cost us a pretty penny. If I were to return, I’d get a private tour guide or just stick to the not-famous places and aim to be there in the early morning.
- We switched hotels from Asakusabashi to Shinjuku and it was worthwhile to do so. We valued being able to walk to and from the bars, especially at night after the trains close
- I made the mistake of thinking we could get tickets on the express/direct train to Kawaguchiko the day before - nope. You should book these early. We took the shinkansen to Otsuki and then from there took a local train the rest of the way.
April 3 - 7: Embracing the calm after Tokyo.
Places: Hakone, Osaka, HimejiHotels: Mount View Hakone and Onyado Nono Osaka Yodoyabashi
The hotel in Hakone was itself the highlight. This one was a bit higher up in the mountains, but still easily accessible by bus. Top-notch hospitality and amenities. Our Osaka hotel was also comfortable and had an onsen and was located in a convenient area - not in the thick of things, but close to the important metro lines.
Highlights:
- I wish we stayed longer at our Hakone ryokan. Their kaiseki dinner and breakfast were exquisite. The private onsen consisted of two large basins for our exclusive use with a view of an illuminated bamboo grove. That said, I think you could choose any 3+ star ryokan in Hakone and have a stellar time. The town was calm and charming; it was especially haunting with the light rain and mist when we were there.
- We took a bus that went directly from our hotel all the way to Odawara, where we caught the shinkansen to Osaka. Unlike at home, where riding the bus feels like a chore, I felt that taking the various transport options in Japan was an experience unto itself - always something to see and admire outside the window.
- Osaka’s nightlife was vibrant, though we preferred Shinsekai over Dotonbori if only because the former was way less crowded. I also went out to Doyamacho (Osaka’s gay district) on my own, which seemed tiny in comparison to Nichome. I visited the newly opened Eagle Osaka and met a Canadian expat; it was fun to hear stories about being gay in Japan from people who’ve lived there for a long time.
- Sunset at Osaka Castle with all the sakura was magical. The crowds were minimal here. My favourite shot to take was a close-up of the flowers with the castle in the background.
- My partner was very keen on visiting USJ and getting the Express Pass - I’m glad we did that because we got to experience (almost) everything we wanted to. Super Nintendo World was the absolute gem of USJ: going there felt like going to another dimension.
- Right outside USJ is a large shopping and restaurant complex. There’s a place on the fourth floor called TAKOPA Takoyaki Park and what a joy it was - pick any of the restaurants here, order a combo meal, and let your taste buds soar.
- Himeji is an easy day trip from Osaka and the famous castle is a straight walk down from the station. It was very picturesque - definitely visit the gardens while you’re there.
- My partner started to feel unwell at this point of the trip, so we had to slow down our pace and also reshuffle a few itinerary items.
April 7 - 10: Sakura, temples, and museums.
Places: Nara, Kyoto, HiroshimaHotel: TUNESTAY Kyoto
A modern hotel that also feels like a hostel with its communal amenities and young vibe. Rest assured, the rooms are private and include your own bathroom. Minutes away from Kyoto Station and situated on the same street as the sightseeing buses.
Highlights:
- The sakura were now in full bloom and made for magnificent strolls around Kyoto’s famous districts, but like all other famous sites, they are best enjoyed early. We got up early for Philosopher’s Path and it was breathtaking and tranquil, just as we imagined it to be. It started to get crowded i.e noisier after 9am.
- The 10th floor of the Isetan building at Kyoto Station is a dedicated food hall, with one side being just ramen shops. Very yummy and very short lines!
- I read about how emotional the Hiroshima Peace Museum made people feel, but I still wasn’t prepared for the sheer gravity of it once we were there. I can only describe the experience as powerful and poignant. Certainly take your time to go through and read the cards on the exhibits. It was one of the rare places we visited that was both busy and quiet.
- Visit Okonomi-mura for delicious Hiroshima-style okonomiyaki and good vibes. It’s another food hall, but one that feels much more down to earth and gritty.
- We happened to stumble upon a night market at Murayama Park in Kyoto. The cherry blossoms were at their peak; they looked especially splendid under the glow of the lanterns. There were food stalls aplenty and we ate to our heart’s content: grilled fish, fried yam rolls, bamboo on a stick, and barbequed meats. Several restaurants and tables were set up in the middle of the park so you could sit down for a meal and some drinks while partaking in hanami. People were in very good spirits and we ended up chatting to a young couple sat next to us, where we bonded over our shared love for Howl’s Moving Castle and all things Ghibli. I’ll remember this particular night very fondly.
- It’s possible to visit Nara on route from Osaka to Kyoto or vice versa. That’s what we did and we just stored our luggage at the station in Nara.
- It makes more sense to go to Hiroshima from Osaka - not only is it closer, but our JR West Pass did not include shinkansen travel between Osaka and Kyoto (even if we were riding on the same train going from Osaka to Hiroshima). We only did it this way because our original plans were changed due to my partner’s change in health status.
April 10 - 12: Winding down and enjoying small city life.
Places: Kanazawa, Shirakawa-goHotel: Hotel Kanazawa Zoushi
Our second favourite hotel of the trip. We had the warmest reception here, with complimentary tea and dango provided at check-in. The room was very comfortable, while the bathrooms were surprisingly spacious.
Highlights:
- Everyone comes here for Kenrokuen and... yeah, it’s an absolutely stunning garden, dressed in wide swathes of pink thanks to the pretty cherry blossoms. Having said that, we noticed other areas of the garden weren’t as lively because the plants had not yet flowered. I think coming here when you know certain flora will be in season will make for a more memorable experience.
- Right next to the gardens are the Kanazawa Castle Ruins, also home to some gorgeous blossom-lined paths. It was way less busy here, as if people didn’t realize they could walk another few minutes to this beautiful location.
- On the surface, Higashi Chaya looked similar to the historic districts in Kyoto. We primarily went there for the Geisha Evenings in Kanazawa performance held at Kaikaro Tea House and it ended up being one of our favourite highlights of the entire trip. Lady Baba is a fabulous host and storyteller; the two hours we spent here flew by, filled with laughter, music, and cultural learnings.
- Omicho Market feels a lot more like a real food market than Nishiki and smells like the sea. We enjoyed some huge oysters here and grilled scallop and octopus skewers.
- We dined at Gen-zae-mon on the recommendation of a local who worked at Kaikaro. It’s a cozy izakaya in downtown Kanazawa serving plenty of scrumptious regional specialties. Try asking the service staff for their recommendations if you’re overwhelmed by the menu options.
- Shirakawa-go was quaint, almost like being transported to a different era. The entire village is easily traversable by foot and it’s worthwhile to visit at least one of the historic houses that have been converted into a museum. If you can climb to the top of the observation deck, you’ll be rewarded with a serene lookout of the entire village. That said, I don’t think spring is the optimal season for Shirakawa-go to shine; I think any other season would colour it better, because it was still grey and barren when we went.
- I mistakenly thought we could get tickets for the highway express bus from Kanazawa to Shirakawa-go last minute... nope. Thankfully, our JR West pass let us ride the shinkansen at no additional cost to Toyama, where we caught the bus there - and that bus was mostly empty. It only added about 30 minutes more to our travel time.
April 12 - 13: One more outing in Tokyo’s most desirable neighbourhood.
Places: Kichijoji, departureHotel: Tokyu REI Kichijoji
Standard hotel with few frills, but great price and location. We chose it because it was a last minute decision to switch from Akihabara to Kichijoji for our last night.
Highlights:
- I’m glad we stayed in Kichijoji for the last day of our visit. Walking the streets of this neighbourhood was exactly what we envisioned a peaceful Tokyo to be like and there was much to please the senses. It just felt like the whole package - picturesque, relaxed, easy to get lost in, and bustling to a degree that felt exciting without being overwhelming. The Internet claims that Kichijoji is the most desirable neighbourhood in Tokyo; I definitely believe that now.
- Ghibli Museum was delightful and I’m a big fan of the “no indoor photography” rule. The attention to detail was incredible. Treat yourself to a walk in Inokashira Park before or after your visit. It was late afternoon when we went and the park was filled with young families and students playing after-school sports. It just felt like a pinnacle “slice of life” moment.
- My very fashionable friend (the one who got married) said Kichijoji is her favourite place for consignment shopping and we saw plenty of those stores here. A bit deeper into the residential parts of Kichijoji is an artisanal market and cafe called Sippo: it was filled with one-of-a-kind goods at reasonable prices and everything was made in Japan. I know there are a lot of great shops in Tokyo, but this one stood out to us and we would certainly return on future trips.
- We hopped on an airport shuttle bus from Kichijoji Station to Haneda. No reservations, but the bus was only a quarter full. We gave ourselves three hours at Haneda and still felt like we ran out of time - lots of great shops for last minute gifts (including an Itoya outpost!) Take note that the higher rated restaurants are located outside of the security gates.
Thanks for reading and I hope you got something out of this trip report. If you’re interested in seeing some of the photos I took on this trip, I’ve shared them on my Instagram account, which is the same handle as my Reddit username.
2024.04.28 19:25 KanKanMikanBeam I told my ex boyfriend's dad that his son was seeing an older woman, his dad was a cop.
This happened back in high school, I was a cosplayer at the time and met a lot of long distance friends. T (14 at the time) was one of them. Me and T met on the good ol days of Omegle. I was 15 when we met.
T was a singer for Kids Bop or something I don't entirely remember but majority of the time we were on Skype calls, cosplaying together. Unless he had band practice.
Eventually a woman, who I will call N, met T in a cosplay group from NYC, as they were both from the state and lived without an hour of each other. N was 22. They became friends.
I met N and she was an aight person but it was suspicious that she really wanted to hang around T.
Well eventually T began to pretend to have split personalities, I assume it was because he wanted attention because at the time he was transitioning and his mom was less then supportive. I began to notice that he would stay online for hours after Skype calls with me and I assumed he was talking to N. This made me uncomfortable.
Eventually T went on a trip but never told me where but when he got back, he needed me to log into his Instagram because his parents were suspicious about his time on his phone and he wasn't allowed to have chat apps or social media. I found that the top chat on his Instagram, was N.
I began messaging her pretending to be T, eventually, she asked me, "Do you want the pictures from us meeting?" I of course, out of curiosity said yes. What I was sent was incredibly shocking.
They were photos of T (again, he's 14) and N (22) making out. I was absolutely shocked, appalled and disgusted. I saved the photos and began to wait for T to message me whenever he returned.
I got them both in a Skype call about a week later and confronted them to which N had a melt down about how she was in love with one of T's "personalities" and this personality was an adult, somehow making her fooling around with a minor okay in her eyes? (She was nuts).
N began to go on about how "you need to share because we're in a relationship too." Basically telling me I was now in a not consented Poly relationship with a 14 year old and a 22 year old. Again. I was 15!
I told T we were finished and he became a babbling idiot as he tried to defend himself. He however forgot he added me on Facebook. His father being one of his friends who was a cop.
I sent the photos to his dad, gave a small explanation of the situation before blocking everyone. T lost all access to social media and a touch screen phone until he was 18 and could buy it himself. As for N, nothing much ever came of her being called out as a predator sadly, she still posts on Instagram and remains the ugliest cosplayer I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
This however wasn't too shocking as the American law system isn't the greatest and often let's predators walk.
I hope you rot in hell N.
If this remains up I hope you enjoyed reading this and if the potato queen sees this and this story makes it into a video I wanna say, Hello! I am a big fan of yours, I normally turn on your videos in the background of daily activities and you fill my life with giggles and happiness.
submitted by KanKanMikanBeam to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]
T was a singer for Kids Bop or something I don't entirely remember but majority of the time we were on Skype calls, cosplaying together. Unless he had band practice.
Eventually a woman, who I will call N, met T in a cosplay group from NYC, as they were both from the state and lived without an hour of each other. N was 22. They became friends.
I met N and she was an aight person but it was suspicious that she really wanted to hang around T.
Well eventually T began to pretend to have split personalities, I assume it was because he wanted attention because at the time he was transitioning and his mom was less then supportive. I began to notice that he would stay online for hours after Skype calls with me and I assumed he was talking to N. This made me uncomfortable.
Eventually T went on a trip but never told me where but when he got back, he needed me to log into his Instagram because his parents were suspicious about his time on his phone and he wasn't allowed to have chat apps or social media. I found that the top chat on his Instagram, was N.
I began messaging her pretending to be T, eventually, she asked me, "Do you want the pictures from us meeting?" I of course, out of curiosity said yes. What I was sent was incredibly shocking.
They were photos of T (again, he's 14) and N (22) making out. I was absolutely shocked, appalled and disgusted. I saved the photos and began to wait for T to message me whenever he returned.
I got them both in a Skype call about a week later and confronted them to which N had a melt down about how she was in love with one of T's "personalities" and this personality was an adult, somehow making her fooling around with a minor okay in her eyes? (She was nuts).
N began to go on about how "you need to share because we're in a relationship too." Basically telling me I was now in a not consented Poly relationship with a 14 year old and a 22 year old. Again. I was 15!
I told T we were finished and he became a babbling idiot as he tried to defend himself. He however forgot he added me on Facebook. His father being one of his friends who was a cop.
I sent the photos to his dad, gave a small explanation of the situation before blocking everyone. T lost all access to social media and a touch screen phone until he was 18 and could buy it himself. As for N, nothing much ever came of her being called out as a predator sadly, she still posts on Instagram and remains the ugliest cosplayer I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
This however wasn't too shocking as the American law system isn't the greatest and often let's predators walk.
I hope you rot in hell N.
If this remains up I hope you enjoyed reading this and if the potato queen sees this and this story makes it into a video I wanna say, Hello! I am a big fan of yours, I normally turn on your videos in the background of daily activities and you fill my life with giggles and happiness.
2024.04.28 19:19 Overly_Long_Reviews Wildling Shoes Nebula Black. Initial thoughts and review in progress.
Hi! I'm somewhat infamous for excessively long reviews and similar musings. So much so that they often break review portals. I just made this account today for the overflow. I purchased these shoes recently and found that I blew past the maximum character limit by approximately 13,000 characters! This review in progress also happens to be the first I'm sharing this way. The jury is still out on whether or not it's a worthwhile concept.
Assuming no one goes insane from the length, tangents, frequent revisions, or spotty approach to grammar, hopefully the three of you who make it to the end find it helpful!
I've been intensely studying Wildling's shoe lineup for many years. But I never made a purchase till now. Because as intriguing as the outsoles may be, you're sacrificing a lot for them. It is my opinion that of Wildling's current offerings, the Nebula Black is their most versatile shoe. It's still very niche and has plenty of downsides, but as long as you come in aware of that you'll find that these are a fantastic set of shoes when used in the right environment and situation.
I'll start out with the positives. Most prominently, they feel absolutely amazing. When it comes to fit and feel the Nebula has blown away my expectations. I believe a big part of that comes from how lightweight they are. They make every other barefoot or minimal shoe or boot I've tried feel clunky and heavy in comparison. I've come across nothing like it in terms of weight, I have daily use socks that are heavier.
Not only are the Nebulas feather light, but they're also sleek. The upper is primarily made out of a single piece of poly-wool blend. The fabric is a technical marvel. The exterior facing side is described as being primarily poly for increased abrasion resistance. The interior is slightly softer and If the product description is to be believed, is where most of the 31% wool is placed for increased comfort and thermal regulation. So it's a dual layer poly-wool blend fabric. I'm a huge advocate of dual layer wool blends in outdoor technical apparel and it's nice to see it applied to shoes. It's not a uniform knit either, that would be too easy. The knit is different in different parts of the shoe. These varying knits provide structure, support, and some protection in certain areas areas well opening up in others for increased breathability and ventilation. With the only additional reinforcement and source of structure on the upper being the heel. The shoe doesn't even have plastic or metallic hardware for the eyelets, its just slits in the fabric. This makes for a very slick upper that doesn't drag or collect debris. One that comfortably hugs and contours to the shape of the foot. They feel a lot like good technical socks.
Wildling's flagship feature is the distinctive and unique outsole design. When I was first introduced to Wildling, I was still very skeptical about the barefoot shoe concept. But I couldn't help but be fascinated by the possibilities of the outsole. Although I ultimately went with a different shoe for my first (the in many ways superior Softstar Megagrip PRIMAL RunAmoc), early exposure to the Wildling outsole is one of the key factors that convert me to the barefoot shoe concept. Years later, I finally broke down (and had the budget surplus) and decided to give them a try. I'm very impressed. The distinctive shape of the outsole allows for an impressive amount of freedom of movement. You can flex and shape your foot and have those movements be translated to the outsole with very little resistance from the shoe. I've come across nothing quite like it. The flexible and thin outsole also lends itself to very good ground feel. It really has to be experienced to be believed.
One of my big concerns with Wildling and one of the many reasons why it took me so long to eventually purchase a pair has to do with traction. My use case is such that I prefer a very aggressive tread on my outsoles. Right now, my primary boot for use in the field is a Vivobarefoot Magna Forest Esc which has a particularly aggressive lug pattern on its Michelin outsole. In contrast, the Wildling outsole has no lugs at all. I was worried that the outsole would be too slick for my needs. After all, despite the product photos showing people frolicking in the woods, Wildling shoes are objectively not technical shoes. They are casual indoor shoes. I'm happy to report that the traction is a lot better than I expected. Part of that is a function the soft rubber used. Even a completely slick outsole will have decent enough traction if you make it out of very soft rubber. Or at least it will have decent traction until the rubber gets ripped to shreds from rough terrain or pavement. The other part to the better than expected traction likely has to do with the amount of flex that the outsole allows. You can dig into the ground (much like if you were truly barefoot and weren't wearing shoes) in ways that aren't possible with shoes with more rigid outsoles. To be clear, it's not nearly as good as the aforementioned Vibram Megagrip, Michelin Esc, or any of the other aggressive outsoles I prefer. But it still provides better grip than a lot of other street shoes. I still would like to see future options with more aggressive treading even if it comes at the expensive of ground feel, stack height, and comfort. It's also worth remembering that it's still early in my time with the Nebula. There's still a lot of unanswered questions about how well the outsole will wear with use.
I found fit to be true to the Wilding's fitkit. With just the right amount of rolling room with all but my thickest of socks. One of the first things I learned when I transitioned over to barefoot shoes is sizing is all over the place. Depending on the brand, I'm anywhere from a US mens size 7 to I think a size 10. With most of my other barefoot shoes I'm a size 9. With Wilding's fitkit/size chart I'm a US mens size 8. If this is your first pair of shoes from Wilding, don't assume that your typical shoe size transfers over. Always measure and measure again for good measure. Even with the return policy, it's better to get it right the first time. One thing I found was that there was no break in time. Or at least there wasn't for me. Just one of the benefits of a flexible knit upper. They were comfortable right out of the box. The shoes come with the "Washi" Insole which is approximately 0.10". You can replace them with a different insole or pull them entirely if you need to adjust for your individual foot volume. Thought I will caution that if you go without an insole you will lose out on some protection and support that the insole provides but the outsole does not. A future project of mine is to experiment with the different insoles. Note that the insole does like to shift when you take off the shoe. This happens more often if you go sockless but it also happens with socks. I have not run into any issues with the insole shifting when being worn. I found the shoe to be comfortable with and without socks and go back and forth depending on what I'm doing. Out of the box, the top 2 eyelets don't have the laces threaded through them. Exactly how the shoes appeared in the product photos. My recommendation is that you thread the laces through those top eyelets. I found that doing so improved the already good fit and comfort. Particularly because it straightens out the tongue. With the factory lace configuration, the tongue can bunch or fold over in places. The material is thin enough that when this happens it's not uncomfortable or even all that noticeable. But you'll have a better experience if the tongue is properly situated. The top outwardly facing eyelet has been reinforced for the additional stitching, the only eyelet with this reinforcement. The stitching makes that particular slit in the fabric very difficult to access. To the point where I sent an email to Wilding support asking if it was cosmetic. It's not, just very difficult to thread the aglets thought. Which could pose an issue if you plan on swapping out the flat laces for the elastic and cord lock alternative.
Unlike most of Wildling's lace up shoe lineup, the Nebula does not feature a membrane. I'm sure many will disagree, but I consider this lack of membrane to be a positive. It's one of the big reasons why I went with the Nebula and why I feel it's one of Wildling's most versatile shoes. The thing with membranes is that all it does is (often slightly) extend the time it takes for the inside of the shoe to get wet. In exchange it takes significantly more time for the shoe to dry out. If water permeates a membrane equipped shoe in the field, for all practical purposes you will not be able to dry out that shoe. Furthermore, a waterproof or water resistant membrane is inherently not going to be as breathable and will retain more moisture and heat. So it's not the best choice if your feet have a tendency of running hot or if you're prone to athlete's foot. Fortunately I don't suffer from either problem. But speaking as someone who has spent their entire professional career working in the outdoors, I have found that quick dry materials and drainage to be the better overall choice. My quality of life in the field improved significantly when I ditched shoes with Gore-Tex liners many years ago. I'm not alone in that assessment. Which is why jungle style boots have enjoyed a resurgence in recent years. I've been very disappointed by the increased prevalence of membranes in Wildling's current shoe offerings. For me, the presence of a membrane is a big negative. Something I have complained about a few times in previous email correspondences to them. It's also worth noting that Wildling's implementation of its membrane doesn't seem to be great or at least could be better. Many reviewers and Wildling themselves have noted that the membrane is quite crinkly sounding. Which is not only annoying but actively a problem for my needs. I also feel that a 100% polyester membrane negates many of the material advantages of many of the interesting fabrics used in shoe linings. It reinforces that Wildling shoes are primarily made to be inside shoes that occasionally get taken outside instead of vice versa. But enough about my membrane complaints since as mentioned, the Nebula doesn't have one. This means that when exposed to water or moisture it will permeate the shoe abnormally quickly. But with its limited surface area and ventilation/drainage holes on the inside arch the shoes dry out relatively quickly. At most in a few hours (faster if you have spare insoles), unlike a membrane shoe which could take several days. It's been raining pretty heavily since receiving the shoes. I have not worn them for more prolonged excursions in the rain (it's not what they're meant for), but for quick everyday exposure to the rain or general moisture I have been quite content with how quickly they dry out. The Nebula isn't supposed to be a water shoe, but I have found the drying and drainage to be on par with some of my old pre barefoot shoe maritime and OTB boots. Currently the Nebula is the fastest drying shoe/boot in my shoe and boot rotation. I haven't had to specifically put them aside to dry them yet, they've been fully dry by the time I've taken them off.
Before we move on to the more negative side of my in progress review, I have a few miscellaneous positives that I want to mention. Something that I really like is how quiet the shoe is. The light weight plus its ability to flex allows for very quiet traversal over a variety of surfaces. No one likes shoes that squeak or loudly clump. One thing I've grown to really like about barefoot shoes is that they're very packable. Making it very easy to carry and swap into spare dry shoes in the field. The Nebula is so light and compact that it's just like carrying an extra set of socks. After a particularly rough day in the field it's really nice to be able to put on something dry. And you can wear your spares while you're airing out your primary boots and insoles. The Nebula features bootstraps which is a genuine quality of life feature and has a lot of utility. Several low-cut barefoot shoes I've tried have excluded the bootstraps. It's a small thing, but it really helps. My Nebula came with the Natural (white) colored "Washi" Insole. As cool as it would be to have the Black "Washi" Insole for a fully black on black on black shoe, the high visibility white makes it very easy to find and put on the shoe in low and no light conditions. Which may sound silly, but as someone who spends a lot of time in low and no light conditions, it's an appreciated though likely unintended detail. Lastly, I'm really glad that the Nebula is now offered in black. The standard gray and white colorway looks good but it's too bright for my needs and would actually violate some of the equipment requirements I need to follow. If they weren't offered in black, I wouldn't have purchased the shoe. The black makes them more subdued and professional looking. Allowing the Nebula to be used in a lot of different (preferably indoor) settings. I will be an shooting email to Wildling support requesting that the Black colorway be added to the essentials and be stocked all year instead of being a limited run like it is now.
As I alluded to in my introduction, as much as I genuinely like the outsoles, having it brings with it some significant sacrifices. An essential task for any outsole is protection. The classic Wildling outsole by design prioritizes flexibility over protection. With the "notch" and inner arch being completely uncovered. Bringing with it a very real risk of being stabbed through those unprotected parts. It's not just the unprotected areas that have a stab risk, the thin soft rubber of the outsole does not provide a lot of impact protection and there are plenty of daily hazards that could easily penetrate. So plan accordingly. I've also had some items get stuck in the notch. Which is not the most comfortable thing in the world but easily remedied if you deal with it quickly. Wildlings now rolling out a new outsole design which does better prioritize protection but it's not currently offered on the Nebula and it sounds like it will mostly (possibly even exclusively) be used on shoes with a membrane. And if you've made it this far (Congratulations! 10 years have passed since you started reading!), you've seen my rant about membranes. If Wildlings were to offer a version of the Nebula with the new outsole, I would probably give it a try. I think it would make for a good companion shoe to the classic outsole version. Alternating in between the two depending on the situation. The outsole is an important aspect when it comes to protection but it's not the only aspect. The hard face of the upper does provide everyday aberration resistance, but doesn't really provide stab or slash resistance. Thus it is my opinion that the shoe does not provide enough protection for outdoor use. Not even enough for a well-maintained hiking trail. The most rugged I would push it would be a nicely groomed glass lawn or field. You also have to be mindful of many urban areas which might have trash on the ground that could defeat the knit fabric or outsole, as well as keep an eye out for ragged edge of worn down concrete.
In a related concern, I worry a lot about durability. I would feel a lot more comfortable if the shoe had beefier and more redundant stitching and gluing between the outsole and the upper. It's been the most common point of failure on my other barefoot shoes and it's always happened at the worst possible times and locations. As Wildling's themselves points out in their FAQ, that particular part of the shoe goes through a lot more stress than conventional shoes and to their credit they do provide some user repair options. But they notably do not address whether or not the shoe is resolable. And speaking from experience from having to carry out the same DIY repairs on other barefoot shoes, once you start doing that the shoe is on borrowed time. It's a sign that it's time to order replacement shoes as soon as possible. Theoretically you could find a cobbler that might be able to do a much better repair. I haven't found one in my region who's willing to do that kind of work, maybe I'm just unlucky. You might be able to find a cobbler that could do a repair for you. On the more positive side, with the Nebula being made from so few pieces with only a handful of stitches, you will likely have less points of failure compared to other Wildling shoes. As a final note on durability, I do wonder about how well the slits in place of eyelets will hold up but in all likelihood the outsole will fall off before that becomes an issue. I'm hoping for 18 months of life use but I'm going to estimate now that it's going to be closer to 8 months.
It is hands down my most niche shoe and has a very narrow use case. Pretty much only used for the few times when I'm actually doing boring stuff. I genuinely adore the shoe, but I would not recommend the shoe for most people. Keeping in mind my opinion that the Nebula is Wildling's most versatile offering. I decided against all the other available shoe and boot models because I feel they were a worst fit for my particular used needs. Before purchasing any Wildling shoe, you need to sit down and seriously think about your shoe needs and whether or not the advantages are worth the disadvantages. Everyone's use case and requirements are different. No piece of equipment is perfect and there's always compromises that have to be made. I purchased my pair of Nebula Black shoes with a very clear idea of what they didn't do well. And put a lot of thought into how to best utilize them and what situations to avoid. For the best overall experience make sure you do the same. If you use them at the right time and place you'll find that the Nebula is a fantastic shoe. As specialized as they may be, I still really like them and I'm glad I gave them a try. If nothing else it finally settles my years long curiosity.
submitted by Overly_Long_Reviews to barefootshoestalk [link] [comments]
Assuming no one goes insane from the length, tangents, frequent revisions, or spotty approach to grammar, hopefully the three of you who make it to the end find it helpful!
I've been intensely studying Wildling's shoe lineup for many years. But I never made a purchase till now. Because as intriguing as the outsoles may be, you're sacrificing a lot for them. It is my opinion that of Wildling's current offerings, the Nebula Black is their most versatile shoe. It's still very niche and has plenty of downsides, but as long as you come in aware of that you'll find that these are a fantastic set of shoes when used in the right environment and situation.
I'll start out with the positives. Most prominently, they feel absolutely amazing. When it comes to fit and feel the Nebula has blown away my expectations. I believe a big part of that comes from how lightweight they are. They make every other barefoot or minimal shoe or boot I've tried feel clunky and heavy in comparison. I've come across nothing like it in terms of weight, I have daily use socks that are heavier.
Not only are the Nebulas feather light, but they're also sleek. The upper is primarily made out of a single piece of poly-wool blend. The fabric is a technical marvel. The exterior facing side is described as being primarily poly for increased abrasion resistance. The interior is slightly softer and If the product description is to be believed, is where most of the 31% wool is placed for increased comfort and thermal regulation. So it's a dual layer poly-wool blend fabric. I'm a huge advocate of dual layer wool blends in outdoor technical apparel and it's nice to see it applied to shoes. It's not a uniform knit either, that would be too easy. The knit is different in different parts of the shoe. These varying knits provide structure, support, and some protection in certain areas areas well opening up in others for increased breathability and ventilation. With the only additional reinforcement and source of structure on the upper being the heel. The shoe doesn't even have plastic or metallic hardware for the eyelets, its just slits in the fabric. This makes for a very slick upper that doesn't drag or collect debris. One that comfortably hugs and contours to the shape of the foot. They feel a lot like good technical socks.
Wildling's flagship feature is the distinctive and unique outsole design. When I was first introduced to Wildling, I was still very skeptical about the barefoot shoe concept. But I couldn't help but be fascinated by the possibilities of the outsole. Although I ultimately went with a different shoe for my first (the in many ways superior Softstar Megagrip PRIMAL RunAmoc), early exposure to the Wildling outsole is one of the key factors that convert me to the barefoot shoe concept. Years later, I finally broke down (and had the budget surplus) and decided to give them a try. I'm very impressed. The distinctive shape of the outsole allows for an impressive amount of freedom of movement. You can flex and shape your foot and have those movements be translated to the outsole with very little resistance from the shoe. I've come across nothing quite like it. The flexible and thin outsole also lends itself to very good ground feel. It really has to be experienced to be believed.
One of my big concerns with Wildling and one of the many reasons why it took me so long to eventually purchase a pair has to do with traction. My use case is such that I prefer a very aggressive tread on my outsoles. Right now, my primary boot for use in the field is a Vivobarefoot Magna Forest Esc which has a particularly aggressive lug pattern on its Michelin outsole. In contrast, the Wildling outsole has no lugs at all. I was worried that the outsole would be too slick for my needs. After all, despite the product photos showing people frolicking in the woods, Wildling shoes are objectively not technical shoes. They are casual indoor shoes. I'm happy to report that the traction is a lot better than I expected. Part of that is a function the soft rubber used. Even a completely slick outsole will have decent enough traction if you make it out of very soft rubber. Or at least it will have decent traction until the rubber gets ripped to shreds from rough terrain or pavement. The other part to the better than expected traction likely has to do with the amount of flex that the outsole allows. You can dig into the ground (much like if you were truly barefoot and weren't wearing shoes) in ways that aren't possible with shoes with more rigid outsoles. To be clear, it's not nearly as good as the aforementioned Vibram Megagrip, Michelin Esc, or any of the other aggressive outsoles I prefer. But it still provides better grip than a lot of other street shoes. I still would like to see future options with more aggressive treading even if it comes at the expensive of ground feel, stack height, and comfort. It's also worth remembering that it's still early in my time with the Nebula. There's still a lot of unanswered questions about how well the outsole will wear with use.
I found fit to be true to the Wilding's fitkit. With just the right amount of rolling room with all but my thickest of socks. One of the first things I learned when I transitioned over to barefoot shoes is sizing is all over the place. Depending on the brand, I'm anywhere from a US mens size 7 to I think a size 10. With most of my other barefoot shoes I'm a size 9. With Wilding's fitkit/size chart I'm a US mens size 8. If this is your first pair of shoes from Wilding, don't assume that your typical shoe size transfers over. Always measure and measure again for good measure. Even with the return policy, it's better to get it right the first time. One thing I found was that there was no break in time. Or at least there wasn't for me. Just one of the benefits of a flexible knit upper. They were comfortable right out of the box. The shoes come with the "Washi" Insole which is approximately 0.10". You can replace them with a different insole or pull them entirely if you need to adjust for your individual foot volume. Thought I will caution that if you go without an insole you will lose out on some protection and support that the insole provides but the outsole does not. A future project of mine is to experiment with the different insoles. Note that the insole does like to shift when you take off the shoe. This happens more often if you go sockless but it also happens with socks. I have not run into any issues with the insole shifting when being worn. I found the shoe to be comfortable with and without socks and go back and forth depending on what I'm doing. Out of the box, the top 2 eyelets don't have the laces threaded through them. Exactly how the shoes appeared in the product photos. My recommendation is that you thread the laces through those top eyelets. I found that doing so improved the already good fit and comfort. Particularly because it straightens out the tongue. With the factory lace configuration, the tongue can bunch or fold over in places. The material is thin enough that when this happens it's not uncomfortable or even all that noticeable. But you'll have a better experience if the tongue is properly situated. The top outwardly facing eyelet has been reinforced for the additional stitching, the only eyelet with this reinforcement. The stitching makes that particular slit in the fabric very difficult to access. To the point where I sent an email to Wilding support asking if it was cosmetic. It's not, just very difficult to thread the aglets thought. Which could pose an issue if you plan on swapping out the flat laces for the elastic and cord lock alternative.
Unlike most of Wildling's lace up shoe lineup, the Nebula does not feature a membrane. I'm sure many will disagree, but I consider this lack of membrane to be a positive. It's one of the big reasons why I went with the Nebula and why I feel it's one of Wildling's most versatile shoes. The thing with membranes is that all it does is (often slightly) extend the time it takes for the inside of the shoe to get wet. In exchange it takes significantly more time for the shoe to dry out. If water permeates a membrane equipped shoe in the field, for all practical purposes you will not be able to dry out that shoe. Furthermore, a waterproof or water resistant membrane is inherently not going to be as breathable and will retain more moisture and heat. So it's not the best choice if your feet have a tendency of running hot or if you're prone to athlete's foot. Fortunately I don't suffer from either problem. But speaking as someone who has spent their entire professional career working in the outdoors, I have found that quick dry materials and drainage to be the better overall choice. My quality of life in the field improved significantly when I ditched shoes with Gore-Tex liners many years ago. I'm not alone in that assessment. Which is why jungle style boots have enjoyed a resurgence in recent years. I've been very disappointed by the increased prevalence of membranes in Wildling's current shoe offerings. For me, the presence of a membrane is a big negative. Something I have complained about a few times in previous email correspondences to them. It's also worth noting that Wildling's implementation of its membrane doesn't seem to be great or at least could be better. Many reviewers and Wildling themselves have noted that the membrane is quite crinkly sounding. Which is not only annoying but actively a problem for my needs. I also feel that a 100% polyester membrane negates many of the material advantages of many of the interesting fabrics used in shoe linings. It reinforces that Wildling shoes are primarily made to be inside shoes that occasionally get taken outside instead of vice versa. But enough about my membrane complaints since as mentioned, the Nebula doesn't have one. This means that when exposed to water or moisture it will permeate the shoe abnormally quickly. But with its limited surface area and ventilation/drainage holes on the inside arch the shoes dry out relatively quickly. At most in a few hours (faster if you have spare insoles), unlike a membrane shoe which could take several days. It's been raining pretty heavily since receiving the shoes. I have not worn them for more prolonged excursions in the rain (it's not what they're meant for), but for quick everyday exposure to the rain or general moisture I have been quite content with how quickly they dry out. The Nebula isn't supposed to be a water shoe, but I have found the drying and drainage to be on par with some of my old pre barefoot shoe maritime and OTB boots. Currently the Nebula is the fastest drying shoe/boot in my shoe and boot rotation. I haven't had to specifically put them aside to dry them yet, they've been fully dry by the time I've taken them off.
Before we move on to the more negative side of my in progress review, I have a few miscellaneous positives that I want to mention. Something that I really like is how quiet the shoe is. The light weight plus its ability to flex allows for very quiet traversal over a variety of surfaces. No one likes shoes that squeak or loudly clump. One thing I've grown to really like about barefoot shoes is that they're very packable. Making it very easy to carry and swap into spare dry shoes in the field. The Nebula is so light and compact that it's just like carrying an extra set of socks. After a particularly rough day in the field it's really nice to be able to put on something dry. And you can wear your spares while you're airing out your primary boots and insoles. The Nebula features bootstraps which is a genuine quality of life feature and has a lot of utility. Several low-cut barefoot shoes I've tried have excluded the bootstraps. It's a small thing, but it really helps. My Nebula came with the Natural (white) colored "Washi" Insole. As cool as it would be to have the Black "Washi" Insole for a fully black on black on black shoe, the high visibility white makes it very easy to find and put on the shoe in low and no light conditions. Which may sound silly, but as someone who spends a lot of time in low and no light conditions, it's an appreciated though likely unintended detail. Lastly, I'm really glad that the Nebula is now offered in black. The standard gray and white colorway looks good but it's too bright for my needs and would actually violate some of the equipment requirements I need to follow. If they weren't offered in black, I wouldn't have purchased the shoe. The black makes them more subdued and professional looking. Allowing the Nebula to be used in a lot of different (preferably indoor) settings. I will be an shooting email to Wildling support requesting that the Black colorway be added to the essentials and be stocked all year instead of being a limited run like it is now.
As I alluded to in my introduction, as much as I genuinely like the outsoles, having it brings with it some significant sacrifices. An essential task for any outsole is protection. The classic Wildling outsole by design prioritizes flexibility over protection. With the "notch" and inner arch being completely uncovered. Bringing with it a very real risk of being stabbed through those unprotected parts. It's not just the unprotected areas that have a stab risk, the thin soft rubber of the outsole does not provide a lot of impact protection and there are plenty of daily hazards that could easily penetrate. So plan accordingly. I've also had some items get stuck in the notch. Which is not the most comfortable thing in the world but easily remedied if you deal with it quickly. Wildlings now rolling out a new outsole design which does better prioritize protection but it's not currently offered on the Nebula and it sounds like it will mostly (possibly even exclusively) be used on shoes with a membrane. And if you've made it this far (Congratulations! 10 years have passed since you started reading!), you've seen my rant about membranes. If Wildlings were to offer a version of the Nebula with the new outsole, I would probably give it a try. I think it would make for a good companion shoe to the classic outsole version. Alternating in between the two depending on the situation. The outsole is an important aspect when it comes to protection but it's not the only aspect. The hard face of the upper does provide everyday aberration resistance, but doesn't really provide stab or slash resistance. Thus it is my opinion that the shoe does not provide enough protection for outdoor use. Not even enough for a well-maintained hiking trail. The most rugged I would push it would be a nicely groomed glass lawn or field. You also have to be mindful of many urban areas which might have trash on the ground that could defeat the knit fabric or outsole, as well as keep an eye out for ragged edge of worn down concrete.
In a related concern, I worry a lot about durability. I would feel a lot more comfortable if the shoe had beefier and more redundant stitching and gluing between the outsole and the upper. It's been the most common point of failure on my other barefoot shoes and it's always happened at the worst possible times and locations. As Wildling's themselves points out in their FAQ, that particular part of the shoe goes through a lot more stress than conventional shoes and to their credit they do provide some user repair options. But they notably do not address whether or not the shoe is resolable. And speaking from experience from having to carry out the same DIY repairs on other barefoot shoes, once you start doing that the shoe is on borrowed time. It's a sign that it's time to order replacement shoes as soon as possible. Theoretically you could find a cobbler that might be able to do a much better repair. I haven't found one in my region who's willing to do that kind of work, maybe I'm just unlucky. You might be able to find a cobbler that could do a repair for you. On the more positive side, with the Nebula being made from so few pieces with only a handful of stitches, you will likely have less points of failure compared to other Wildling shoes. As a final note on durability, I do wonder about how well the slits in place of eyelets will hold up but in all likelihood the outsole will fall off before that becomes an issue. I'm hoping for 18 months of life use but I'm going to estimate now that it's going to be closer to 8 months.
It is hands down my most niche shoe and has a very narrow use case. Pretty much only used for the few times when I'm actually doing boring stuff. I genuinely adore the shoe, but I would not recommend the shoe for most people. Keeping in mind my opinion that the Nebula is Wildling's most versatile offering. I decided against all the other available shoe and boot models because I feel they were a worst fit for my particular used needs. Before purchasing any Wildling shoe, you need to sit down and seriously think about your shoe needs and whether or not the advantages are worth the disadvantages. Everyone's use case and requirements are different. No piece of equipment is perfect and there's always compromises that have to be made. I purchased my pair of Nebula Black shoes with a very clear idea of what they didn't do well. And put a lot of thought into how to best utilize them and what situations to avoid. For the best overall experience make sure you do the same. If you use them at the right time and place you'll find that the Nebula is a fantastic shoe. As specialized as they may be, I still really like them and I'm glad I gave them a try. If nothing else it finally settles my years long curiosity.
2024.04.28 19:00 Bluedroid My ~500k Investment Property Journey
Hi guys, writing this post up as it might be useful info for anyone doing something similar. I recently decided to get into the property game and could afford a property circa around 500k. None of this is financial advice so DYOR. I minmaxed each step and this is my journey.
Step 1 Finance
First piece of advice is be aware of upfront costs, Don't think you have 10% and that is enough for a 10% deposit etc. You also need to factor in these costs which easily add at least 5% ontop
Stamp Duty/LMI/Pest and Build/ConveyanceLandlord Insurance/Misc Repairs
You also need to pay repayments from settlement date till when you can get a tenant in if not tenanted, no one told me this and I never calculated this.
First step of my journey was researching mortgage brokers. I talked to a few brokers to figure out my borrowing capacity and also the optimal loan structure to maximise my serviceability and borrowing capacity. This was very important.
Alot of brokers I spoke to were very transactional and pushy just giving me a high number but at a tier 2 lender and not explaining what different loans to get etc. I settled on a mortgage broker who managed to get me a good rate and explained to me that putting a 12% deposit to get a 88LVR was optimal and then i could put the LMI within the loan and not pay it as my upfront costs. This free'd up more funds on hand which was very useful later on. I also chose an interest only loan with an offset account. This allows me to claim any interest as a tax deduction.
Step 2 Choosing + Buying Property
While doing this I also checked where I wanted to buy and decided I wanted a freestanding home so with my budget I had 3 main areas looking at. WA vs QLD vs VIC
This was my thought process on all of them
QLD - Regional areas had a super high yield however cost of insurance was very high
WA - High yield and super high cap growth however buying it after it's gone up heaps already
VIC - Buying at pre covid prices due to landtax, low yield but possibly higher capital growth in the long run
I ended up engaging the services of a buyers agent. I could write a whole post on this but I had meetings with literally 30 buyers agents. Most of them were glorified get rich quick conmen saying yes to everything I say spruiking magical offmarket deals or AI tools and reports which would magically find insane properties.
You have ones doing it for free (which i'm assuming they get kickbacks along the line) then prices normally starting from 8 to 16k for a property in this price range. Some outliers asking 20k which is a joke. I ended up engaging with one who when I spoke to them gave me the pro's and con's and not just saying yes to everything. Out of 30 i'd say there were 5-6 who were actually transparent and honest. Many I could tell just spammed buzzwords to prey on less informed investors. Upon his advice I ended up picking WA as I wanted to catch some of the high rental yield to propel me onto a PPOR or my next IIP as if I had chosen Victoria with the low yield it would have been hard to save for another one down the line.
So the BA offered me a few properties and we put offers in but they got outbid, some properties went 30% above asking price. It took a while but I finally got one and then proceeded with the sale. I checked prices against corelogic valuation and also houses that recently sold. I picked a house that was under median suburb house but it had some issues that needed to be fixed.
Step 3 Settlement
Only real tip here is when choosing a building and pest inspector check what is actually in the report. Mine only had structural/pest stuff. It didn't have anything about general wear and tear of the house which was very annoying. It only had big stuff integral to the house so i missed some stuff that I needed to fix later. Meanwhile I also had to pick a property manager.
I did alot of research and there are different type of property managers. Some will offer a % of the weekly rent but also charge inspection fees/advertising fees/other fees and the main fee is a 2 week letting fee. This is 2 weeks rent to find a tenant. You can negotiate this but I found a PM who does everything for a weekly flat rate and this ended up cheaper.
Step 4 Post Settlement
Upon settlement my property manager came in and then said I'd need some renovations done before they could rent it out easily. I knew going into this there was some things that would needed to be done but the price needed for reno's was higher than I thought with more stuff than I thought. Power was also shut off upon settlement date so I had to call up the electricity company to hook it back up.
The main problem of this is the fact I didn't factor in how much time the house would be untenanted while fixing stuff, this means no rental income and paying down a mortgage. You need to factor this into your budget!!!
I managed to get a handyman to alot of the work and this saved me money from getting different people doing different small jobs. What made the biggest difference to the house is ripping up old flooring and changing it all to hybrid flooring, that and painting the house.
After the house was in good order my property manager started their process and from that time of listing it they had 2 inspections in about a week. Competition was tight and my PM said many people offered above asking price along with 6 months rent in advance etc. My tenant gave me 3 options and I ended up choosing who i wanted.
Anyway that's pretty much it, I have a QS to come in to do depreciation but that's about all she wrote
Results
I ended up getting a gross rental yield of 6.4% and paid ~14k in reno. Houses that are similar to mine post reno are about 40k more than what I paid.
My main advice is do as much research as you can before you consult a professional like a brokeagent so you know what to expect and you can tell who is just saying yes to get you on board. Use facebook groups/property chat forum (unfortunately I found advice on reddit wasn't good)
Have a decent cash buffer as this will save you alot of stress. Account for time to get it tenanted and account for landlord insurance or if you're unlucky watecouncil rates if they get invoiced near after when you settle.
Happy to answer any questions and also take any advice.
submitted by Bluedroid to AusPropertyChat [link] [comments]
Step 1 Finance
First piece of advice is be aware of upfront costs, Don't think you have 10% and that is enough for a 10% deposit etc. You also need to factor in these costs which easily add at least 5% ontop
Stamp Duty/LMI/Pest and Build/ConveyanceLandlord Insurance/Misc Repairs
You also need to pay repayments from settlement date till when you can get a tenant in if not tenanted, no one told me this and I never calculated this.
First step of my journey was researching mortgage brokers. I talked to a few brokers to figure out my borrowing capacity and also the optimal loan structure to maximise my serviceability and borrowing capacity. This was very important.
Alot of brokers I spoke to were very transactional and pushy just giving me a high number but at a tier 2 lender and not explaining what different loans to get etc. I settled on a mortgage broker who managed to get me a good rate and explained to me that putting a 12% deposit to get a 88LVR was optimal and then i could put the LMI within the loan and not pay it as my upfront costs. This free'd up more funds on hand which was very useful later on. I also chose an interest only loan with an offset account. This allows me to claim any interest as a tax deduction.
Step 2 Choosing + Buying Property
While doing this I also checked where I wanted to buy and decided I wanted a freestanding home so with my budget I had 3 main areas looking at. WA vs QLD vs VIC
This was my thought process on all of them
QLD - Regional areas had a super high yield however cost of insurance was very high
WA - High yield and super high cap growth however buying it after it's gone up heaps already
VIC - Buying at pre covid prices due to landtax, low yield but possibly higher capital growth in the long run
I ended up engaging the services of a buyers agent. I could write a whole post on this but I had meetings with literally 30 buyers agents. Most of them were glorified get rich quick conmen saying yes to everything I say spruiking magical offmarket deals or AI tools and reports which would magically find insane properties.
You have ones doing it for free (which i'm assuming they get kickbacks along the line) then prices normally starting from 8 to 16k for a property in this price range. Some outliers asking 20k which is a joke. I ended up engaging with one who when I spoke to them gave me the pro's and con's and not just saying yes to everything. Out of 30 i'd say there were 5-6 who were actually transparent and honest. Many I could tell just spammed buzzwords to prey on less informed investors. Upon his advice I ended up picking WA as I wanted to catch some of the high rental yield to propel me onto a PPOR or my next IIP as if I had chosen Victoria with the low yield it would have been hard to save for another one down the line.
So the BA offered me a few properties and we put offers in but they got outbid, some properties went 30% above asking price. It took a while but I finally got one and then proceeded with the sale. I checked prices against corelogic valuation and also houses that recently sold. I picked a house that was under median suburb house but it had some issues that needed to be fixed.
Step 3 Settlement
Only real tip here is when choosing a building and pest inspector check what is actually in the report. Mine only had structural/pest stuff. It didn't have anything about general wear and tear of the house which was very annoying. It only had big stuff integral to the house so i missed some stuff that I needed to fix later. Meanwhile I also had to pick a property manager.
I did alot of research and there are different type of property managers. Some will offer a % of the weekly rent but also charge inspection fees/advertising fees/other fees and the main fee is a 2 week letting fee. This is 2 weeks rent to find a tenant. You can negotiate this but I found a PM who does everything for a weekly flat rate and this ended up cheaper.
Step 4 Post Settlement
Upon settlement my property manager came in and then said I'd need some renovations done before they could rent it out easily. I knew going into this there was some things that would needed to be done but the price needed for reno's was higher than I thought with more stuff than I thought. Power was also shut off upon settlement date so I had to call up the electricity company to hook it back up.
The main problem of this is the fact I didn't factor in how much time the house would be untenanted while fixing stuff, this means no rental income and paying down a mortgage. You need to factor this into your budget!!!
I managed to get a handyman to alot of the work and this saved me money from getting different people doing different small jobs. What made the biggest difference to the house is ripping up old flooring and changing it all to hybrid flooring, that and painting the house.
After the house was in good order my property manager started their process and from that time of listing it they had 2 inspections in about a week. Competition was tight and my PM said many people offered above asking price along with 6 months rent in advance etc. My tenant gave me 3 options and I ended up choosing who i wanted.
Anyway that's pretty much it, I have a QS to come in to do depreciation but that's about all she wrote
Results
I ended up getting a gross rental yield of 6.4% and paid ~14k in reno. Houses that are similar to mine post reno are about 40k more than what I paid.
My main advice is do as much research as you can before you consult a professional like a brokeagent so you know what to expect and you can tell who is just saying yes to get you on board. Use facebook groups/property chat forum (unfortunately I found advice on reddit wasn't good)
Have a decent cash buffer as this will save you alot of stress. Account for time to get it tenanted and account for landlord insurance or if you're unlucky watecouncil rates if they get invoiced near after when you settle.
Happy to answer any questions and also take any advice.
2024.04.28 19:00 AutoModerator [PLEASE READ] Weekly FAQ Reminder
Hello all,
In an effort to mitigate the amount of repetitive questions that have been asked recently, we have set up this thread as a reminder on how certain things in the game works. As of now, this reminder is planned to be posted weekly for visibility.
0. FAQ Wiki Page
1. Monthly Challenges
2. Artist/Group Tickets
3. Account Related Concerns
4. Shortest Song(s)/What song(s) to Grind/What songs are easy to FSP
5. Powering Up/Rating Up tips
submitted by AutoModerator to SuperstarJYPNation [link] [comments]
In an effort to mitigate the amount of repetitive questions that have been asked recently, we have set up this thread as a reminder on how certain things in the game works. As of now, this reminder is planned to be posted weekly for visibility.
0. FAQ Wiki Page
- There is both a FAQ and general guide page on this subreddit, please read through those resources before asking a question as it may already be addressed there.
1. Monthly Challenges
- This is a system separate from the regular song challenges that require you to score 10k higher than your max score (6.2m being the cap)
- They are MONTHLY score targets you need to reach to obtain various tiers of rewards. The more you complete the more rewards you get.
- Progress and reward tiers can be found via: Song Select > Bottom Left where WMR is > Check Challenge Success Reward
- MONTHLY challenge scores and progress will be reset MONTHLY. If you obtain 201 challenge success in the last day of February, it will be reset to 0 in the following first day of March. Your original high scores for each song will not reset.
- Rewards will be in your inbox following the completion of the first game maintenance of the month
- If you see that your monthly challenge success progress has been "reset" when it is not supposed to, restart your game as it's a visual glitch.
2. Artist/Group Tickets
- Artist Ticket - Select a group = random card from that group
- Select miss A = one random card for either Suzy, Min, or Fei
- Select DAY6 = one random card for either Jae, Sungjin, Young K, Wonpil or Dowoon
- Group ticket - Select a group = random card for each member in that group
- Select miss A = random card for Suzy, Min and Fei
- Select DAY6 = random card for Jae, Sungjin, Young K, Wonpil and Dowoon
- All Group Tickets are currently not obtainable by any means
- Only A/S/R Artist Tickets can be obtained, C and B are not obtainable by any means
- A/S/R Artist Tickets can be obtained from monthly challenge rewards
- R Artist Tickets can be obtained from world record rewards
3. Account Related Concerns
- ALWAYS have your account linked/bound to any of the services that are available to you -- their (Dalcomsoft) servers, Google, Facebook, etc.
- Linking current account to a service does not erase current game data; it does the exact opposite. It ensures that your game progress will be saved at all times. If you get a new device, simply use that same login info and your account will be loaded.
- If you wish to attempt restoring your account, please do not post any account details here as no one here can assist you with it.
- Please email support.jypnation@dalcomsoft.com instead. In order to expedite the process, be as concise as possible in your initial email to them such as providing: account email (if not a guest account), in-game purchase receipts (if applicable), IGN, in-game profile picture, current league ranking/bracket, etc. You are not guaranteed to have your account recovered so in the case where they are unable to do so, your account has unfortunately been lost.
4. Shortest Song(s)/What song(s) to Grind/What songs are easy to FSP
- There is a song stats spreadsheet resource that is still updated to date which has all information on songs from their length to recommended for FSP or not. Please utilize this resource instead of making a separate post that otherwise has no basis to it.
- https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/18_WoDnTBr1Fm1ZTFS0THn5uwzLkUJUfbwvFwwYnfcFs/edit#gid=1752333355
5. Powering Up/Rating Up tips
- There are recommendations provided in the general guide for what material cards to use at which grade. Further, there is a separate spreadsheet that lists out the % of success of your material card if used on your card of choice. Please utilize this resource instead of making a separate post.
- https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1EMSQt56wlLKGkWnEyJaZoi2LleFj5T1RSy2JuXMD_xE/edit#gid=481517504