Wow. So much has changed...
Long story short, I got my start in roleplaying back during the golden age of AOL and Yahoo (anyone else remember the Red Dragon Inn back in the late 90s and early 2000s?). Ah, those were the days, right? When the biggest worry was your dial-up connection, haha.
As I'm sure you'd all agree—finding long-term, advanced/literate writers is much more challenging these days. I have fond memories of when the process of coming up with a plot was an organic process; where you'd genuinely take the time to get to know the other person, build rapport, and allow a plot to form naturally.
That's what I'm hoping to find. With that said, I put a lot of effort into this post, so hopefully there's someone else out there who values the same things in a writing partner!
First of all, here's a bit about me as a person:

• I'm 30+, male, and I've written several novels and a bunch of articles, mostly in historical fiction and contemporary stories. Writing isn't just my job; it's pretty much a part of who I am.
• I'm always trying to learn something new, whether it's from books, documentaries, or just good old chatting. History and cultures fascinate me the most.
• When I'm not buried in books or work, I love to hike and take photos. There’s something about being out in nature that just clears my head.
• I love to read (especially non-fiction and historical fiction). I'm always down for swapping book recommendations, if you're also a reader!
• I love peanut butter (crunchy over smooth any day – fight me).
• On that note, if I'm being honest, coffee isn't just a drink for me; it's a ritual!
• I'm a big fan of the simple things in life. Give me a sunset, a good laugh, or a perfect slice of pizza, and I’m set.
• I love diving into those deep, meandering conversations that start with "what if" and end somewhere between "the meaning of life" and "why can’t we tickle ourselves?"
• Fun fact: I used to be able to recite all 50 states in alphabetical order — a party trick born out of a grade school challenge, haha.

Here's what I'm looking for in a writer:

• Writing Style - I'm looking for a partner who has a strong command of the English language. I'm talking about descriptive passages that paint clear pictures, dialogue that is crisp, concise, and not overly flowery. I prefer to write in the 3rd person, past tense. I prefer modern fiction and historical fiction stories.
• Communication - Life's unpredictable! What’s important is keeping each other in the loop about our schedules and any changes in the story or our approach. A quick heads-up can make a huge difference. It's all about being honest and direct with our feedback and thoughts.
• Long-Term Plots - I'm really looking for a writing partner who's in it for the long haul and is passionate about crafting intricate, plot-driven stories. For me, the joy of roleplaying lies in developing a story that evolves over time, with twists and turns that keep us both engaged and inspired.
• Sense of Humor - Writing together should be fun and relaxed, not just a serious crafting of narratives. It’s important to me that we can both throw in a bit of humor now and then, not only in our stories but in our interactions too.

And there you have it! If you're a detail-oriented, communicative, mature, and long-term story lover, you might just be the writing partner I'm looking for.
We should totally write such a good story that our keyboards will need a vacation after we're done, haha. I hope to hear from you!

By Juan Diego Velasquez
Mateo Muñoz
Juanjose moreno
Grade: 9°2
Today we are going to talk about the characters of Moving Castle and how for me I need to express them a little more, this work created by Studio Ghibli and written by Diana Wynne Jones, this is a very good movie but today we come to talk about the characters, the main character. It's Sophie and the other protagonist is Howl who is the owner of the moving castle and we have a demon called Calcifer who is in charge of moving the castle and then there are the secondary characters like Marco Turnip Head, Turnip Head, this one I think. It had an unexpected ending but that in the end in the rest of the film he had several appearances in which he was helping the characters but I think we could have investigated more about what happened to him and how he ended up doing the same with Marco which appears in Howl's castle as a helper but they don't show us how she got there, the villain is the witch of the wasteland who is a good character but she could have given us more of her role as a villain, they tell us that she loved Howl and that's why she followed him but that is not the reason, the reason is that there is a moment in the movie in which the villain fell into a trap that left her in bad shape and that makes the character fall since being a villain or better yet, such a powerful witch leaves a bad taste in mouth that howl I think it's very well done it has its concerns that feel real which is good and sophie I would have liked them to tell us more about their past that's all about the characters
The main theme of this part of the review is the animation and the music, without many twists due to the story and how Sofie visits many places with many types of backgrounds, you can appreciate in a fantastic way how the animation is capable of doing things incredible with the 2d to the point that sometimes you don't know if they used gci, it is majestic without any doubt, this was achieved with the incredible ghibli animation team and its director hayao miyazaki, a well-known man in the industry and who definitely He is the genius behind every detail of water, sky and fire, with a character completely made of fire, the music is incredible despite having about 3 songs in total, they are all enjoyable and are played at the right time, to knowing when there is something wrong, something uncomfortable or something beautiful, all this is possible thanks to the music director: Joe Hisaishi, who with a small team was able to make 3 works which were highlighted by time and remained recorded in the memory of all the people. Anyway, there are many reasons to praise this movie but if I can highlight one in particular it would be how beautiful it is, I haven't seen such beautiful things in a long time, the attention to detail is incredible.
A Beutiful movie to watch in family.
Howl's Moving Castle is a film that stands out for its engrossing story and exquisite animation, distinctive marks of Studio Ghibli. The movie is an adaptation of Diana Wynne Jones's book "Howl's Moving Castle" and was directed by the legendary Hayao Miyazaki.
The plot centers around Sophie, a young woman working in a hat shop who, after an encounter with the mysterious wizard Howl, is cursed to become an old woman. Determined to break the spell, Sophie embarks on a magical adventure, finding allies like the fire demon Calcifer and the wizard's apprentice Markl. Together, they inhabit Howl's moving castle, a marvel of magical engineering that moves and changes shape.
The animation of the film is simply spectacular, with meticulous details and landscapes that come to life, reflecting melancholy and hope in Sophie's eyes. The characters are charismatic and complex, each with their own vulnerabilities and strengths, adding depth to the narrative.
Moreover, the film addresses profound themes such as self-love, war, and redemption, presented in a way that will resonate with both children and adults. The soundtrack perfectly complements the magical yet dense atmosphere of the film.
In summary, "Howl's Moving Castle" is a masterpiece that combines boundless fantasy with a sincere reflection on the human condition, all wrapped up in animation that is a true visual treat. It is a film that deserves to be seen and revisited, a testament to the art of storytelling through animated cinema
(Thank you for reading)
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Hey guys, I had my math teacher send a letter of recommendation to a summer program I was applying to. He sent the program the letter, and he BCC'd me in it. I saw it and it was pretty good IMO. He said that's most likely the same one he'll use for my colleges and just put the college's name in it. Im curious what you guys think? Should I use it for college letters or go with a different teacher? Is it a good letter, is it Ivy League worthy or anything? Edit: Im a junior rn
Here it is (Sensitive info like my name is XXX out):
To Whom It May Concern: I am writing in enthusiastic support of xxx for entrance into the XXXX Program. XXX has a natural curiosity for all things, though her focus is most often centered in the STEM field. Her dedication to her studies and willingness to take on new challenges will allow her to thrive in the intensive environment that your program provides. XXX was originally a student in my freshman geometry class at the college prep level, but she very quickly showed enough promise that I waived her up to the accelerated level. I was sad to lose a student who was clearly very willing to participate, but we both agreed that it would be the best course of action for her ongoing math education. XXX did join the chess club during her freshman year, for which I am the advisor, so I was thankfully still able to follow her progress and hear her share how proud she was of the work she was doing. XXX has remained in accelerated math throughout high school, which allowed her to take my accelerated precalculus class starting this fall. Even in the higher-level course, XXX remains one of the most active participants in class discussion. She will often ask questions that probe further in-depth than the examples that we have covered, usually resulting in her independently coming to the realization that I’ve been building towards introducing to the class. Our course will cover some calculus material by the end of the year, but that has not stopped XXX from staying after school to ask questions about topics that she will encounter in AP Calculus next year. She has already expressed interest in the idea of derivatives, asking for explanations regarding instantaneous rate of change and its applications in the real world. Outside of the math classroom, XXX is the definition of a model student. Her grades in every class are stellar, even those that are not part of the STEM field, and she is an active participant in several extracurricular activities both in and out of school. She is never seen without a smile on her face and a positive attitude. These qualities all contributed to XXX being named Student of the Month last year, and she has received nominations this year as well. I cannot recommend XXX highly enough for selection to the XXX program. In XXX, the program would be gaining an insightful, curious and open-minded young woman who thrives when presented with a challenge. Her demeanor and affect allow her to develop easy friendships and seamlessly collaborate with anyone around her. She will be an asset to XXX. and to those lucky enough to work with her over the six weeks of the program.

This is party 2 of a discussion regarding how poly could have been handled a little better in BG3. I recommend you read through the first part here: https://new.reddit.com/BaldursGate3/comments/1crb2s7/how_the_polyamory_could_have_been_handled/ so you can get context and I sound like less of a rambling weirdo.
​
Astarion:
Out of all the discussions, people were the most confused by this choice. Not only does making him poly at the last minute feel contrary to a lot of statements he himself makes throughout his romance arc, but it also runs counter to what other characters say about him and his backstory as a whole. He is one of the most insecure characters in the game, he was trained for two hundred years to lie in order to avoid punishment, and he has far more trauma and healing to do than the other characters. Astarion is the most likely to lie about the Halsin relationship in order to avoid appearing weak or demanding. Out of the poly players who expressed disappointment, Astarion was the one that bothered them the most, since many felt he wasn’t fully consenting.
Most of my reasons for why he’s not a good poly option (from a development standpoint) have already been stated in earlier sections, so most of this will be spent diving into the “Is he fine with poly or not?” debate, which had me intrigued. (This will be the longest section and won’t be as connected to the overall topic, so if you want to skip to the Halsin part, feel free.)
I’ll start with the main arguments I see defending him being poly.
Argument 1: He says he’s fine with Halsin and the twins, so we should take him at his word.
While this can definitely be argued, and it’s not good to treat an adult man like a baby, his constant lying as a defense mechanism and current issues with sex/relationships do need to be taken into account (if not by the players then at least by the developers). There were plenty of people (some of them victims of SA) who talked about their own experience of tolerating poly because they were scared of their partner leaving or finding them too demanding/narrow minded. This led to their self-esteem and views on relationships growing worse rather than better. For someone like Astarion, who outright admits he has never had a healthy relationship and doesn’t want to lose this one, it’s understandable that people view his response as a coping mechanism rather than his own genuine feelings. There were also two different mental health professionals who reminded players that although a few victims of abuse do enter poly relationships, statistically most do not and it is far more common for them to agree to poly relationships out of pressure (which often make the person’s mental issues even worse in the long run).
Argument 2: He claims to be fine with open relationships during Act 1.
This is countered by the fact that everything he says about himself in Act 1 is a lie (unless he’s specifically talking about Cazador). He lies about wanting to sleep with you, he lies about his identity until he bites you, he claims to only care about sex (then later admits it makes him feel disgust and loathing), and he brags about his former conquests (which you later find out he regrets and feels guilt over). His statements that he’s fine with open relationships are made when choosing between him and another Origin character in Act 1 or 2, but this is also said at a time when his act is still up and he isn’t in love with the player. If you choose between him and another Origin character AFTER he confesses and let’s his guard down, he insists that he is NOT fine with sharing. “You’ve decided to replace me?” If the player says they care about both him and the other person, he’ll say, “Don’t give me that. I can see what this is.” Then he promptly breaks up with them. This second reaction is not only said using his genuine voice (whereas before he was still using his fake one), but a few poly people mentioned that this isn’t a normal reaction from someone who is fine with poly.
This isn’t to shame people who want to think Astarion is fine with it, or to judge players who went through with the poly relationship. Instead, this is once again asking the developers why they chose this option, rather than someone who wouldn’t spark so much debate or remind abuse victims of their past without giving them a dialogue option to address it. (This is a similar issue with Astarion’s brothel scene. They should have either removed it by having him say he’s not comfortable again, or at the very least, let players talk to him about it after.)
I think it’s pretty clear that after reading the discussions and evidence both sides provided, I myself lean heavily to one side. However, the main defense I personally have for the opposite side is that the writers were sometimes vague about Astarion’s true preferences and wishes. I especially felt this during the origin playthrough, where his narrator would constantly flip between him liking hedonism and despising it. It gave the impression that two opposing authors were wrestling while writing him, unable to decide where he truly stood on things. It felt similar to how the devs tried to write a respectful story of overcoming abuse and the fear of being sexualized, only to turn around and repeatedly sexualize the character in both the game and promotional material. I really wish the writers and developers had picked a lane and stuck with it.
Now I’ll get into the evidence for the counter theory: That he’s not actually open to sharing, but says he’s fine with it to avoid appearing weak or losing his partner. I personally prefer this theory because it makes the writing seem more intentional, adds more nuance to an already complex character, and feels more realistic. However, even if this is what the writer or actor were trying to convey, it’s still a far worse alternative to simply keeping him out of the poly options in the first place.

1. His hedonistic playboy persona is stated to be a façade. Anything he says in act one about being poly and wanting open relationships is stated when he is both wearing his mask and before he trusts the player. Every statement about relationships here has to be taken with a grain of salt because his mask is centered around attracting victims for Cazador. Since he hated bringing “sweet innocents” to his master, it makes sense that he would initially try to attract the opposite (“criminals and brothel goers”) by sleeping around and making a show of wanting casual relationships.
   
2. Once he gets comfortable in the relationship, he makes it clear he is looking for someone who will make him feel safe and value him for his personality over his body (“I don’t want you to think of me in terms of sex. I don’t think I want anyone to.” “How do you want me to see you?” “As a person. Is that so much to ask?”). If the player chooses to sexualize him, he will go through with it, then regret it later and break up. He makes it very clear in Act two that he’s not actually looking for casual hookups because they make him feel “ashamed and alone”. So it is odd that he’s fine with Halsin (who seems to care more about the sex and the body than the emotional bonding) and the brothel (which is solely about sex). One can argue that he’s fine with the poly relationship because he’s not taking part, but Halsin DOES wish for him to take part ‘eventually’.
   
3. Jumping off of that, Astarion’s dialogue makes it clear he wants a partner who cares about more than just sex, but if you tell him you want to date Halsin solely for the sex (and because Astarion’s not doing it with you), he will say that’s fine and he doesn’t mind the player seeking sex from others. This seems to counter his previous statements and arc. It’s especially strange that even if you reinforce his greatest insecurity (that his refusal to have sex has made his partner immediately seek out other people), he will still claim to be fine with it.
   
4. In terms of dialogue, the actor for Astarion seems to be very intentional when using the fake theatrical masking voice vs. the more genuine softspoken voice he uses when he’s comfortable and being honest. The fake voice is blatantly obvious throughout the Act 1 romance, in Act 2 if you force him to obey the blood merchant (his voice goes from genuinely scared to flirtatious and over the top within seconds), and in Cazador’s mansion where he’ll speak genuinely to you, then be over the top when addressing Cazador’s servants. He’ll often use jokes and loud laughter to conceal his true feelings and insecurities. Meanwhile his laughter in the confession scene, graveyard scene, and Spawn epilogue is quiet and subdued because he’s being genuine. It feels like a strange coincidence that when addressing both the Halsin situation and the brothel situation, his voice becomes very loud and high pitched again, he immediately starts making jokes, and his laughter is over the top. This hints at him not wanting to go along with either situation, but he’s putting himself through it because this is what his partner wants and since he’s tolerated sexual stuff he hated before, he can do it again. Plus, after killing Cazador, he wants to ensure no one views him as weak. He has to prove to himself and his lover (at least in his mind) that refusing to take the Ascendant powers was good and he’s strong enough to not need it. I can understand players not picking up on the voice changes (because not everyone is going to replay the game or even care) but those who did notice it believe it’s done intentionally (either by the actor or the writer or both). If it’s not intentional, then it’s a strange decision to make from a developer’s standpoint.
   
5. Throughout the threads I read, most poly people made it clear that poly relationships require complete trust, clear communication, and general confidence. Astarion himself admits to lacking all of those traits to some degree. If you don’t romance him, he will literally not trust any of the characters right up to the epilogue (he’ll hold a knife behind his back while talking to the Dark Urge). Even though he does seem to genuinely trust his lover by Act 2, he will still lie to them several times. He lies about being fine with the drow twins (he states he’ll leave if he hates if but never does despite disassociating), feigns confidence when the player says they’ll become a mind flayer (he says he only cares about them becoming ugly but expresses his true fears only after the fight, that he’s worried they are no longer the person he fell in love with by losing their soul), he manipulates his lover when confronting Cazador despite being conflicted about it himself and wanting reassurance, and (on a more minor note) he continuously claims he’s doesn’t care about Yenna or the Gur children despite getting upset when they’re in danger. This is a character who, even after he kills his tormentor, struggles to be honest with his partner. That isn’t a good combination when addressing poly. (Again, it could be worked through in real life, but is better avoided in video games where there isn’t time to address it).
   
6. There are also plenty of situations where he agrees to do things he outright hates. In Act 1, we know he is (at least somewhat) disgusted by having sex with the player or Laezel, but he’ll do it. In Act 2, he tries to be genuine about not wanting to touch the player until he no longer feels disgust, but if the player pressures him, he will cave and obey. He does break up with the player afterwards, but it is only after he has gone through with the act. In Act 3, he will state three times that he doesn’t want to take the tadpole, but if the player pressures him by bringing up his darkest fear, he will give in. Worse, he will give in and STILL stay with the player romantically despite them clearly manipulating him to do something they know he fears. He does thankfully break up if you fail the checks, but if you succeed, he goes through with it. If he’s willing to cave to something as huge as altering his entire body, it makes sense that he would cave to something he views as more minor (like tolerating unwanted sexual acts in a brothel or sharing his partner).
   
7. I didn’t know this until I saw others mention it but there are points where he will flirt with NPCs if he is single (the girl in the sewers), but he uses neutral dialogue if he is dating the player. This reinforces the theory that he doesn’t actually plan to sleep around or be with others as he claims (though there are some dialogues that I think slipped through the cracks where he still flirts with others despite being in a committed relationship).
   
8. If Halsin propositions you after Cazador has been killed, Astarion no longer asks if you’re doing this because he hasn’t been fulfilling your sexual needs. However, he does give another response that feels out of place: “I’ve realized it doesn’t matter if anything (in our relationship) changes.” Parallel this with what he said at the graveyard, that “no matter what happens, I don’t want to lose this (relationship).” It’s very odd to have him say he doesn’t want to lose the relationship, but then the next day he is totally okay with losing it. Granted, it is nice to know that even if the characters break up, he’ll be fine, but it does feel contradictory for his character, especially with how devastated he acts if they DO end the relationship. If the Halsin statement is just an act and he’s overcompensating, however, then it feels more intentional on the writer’s part.
   
9. I’ve seen lots of people say that Ascended Astarion also shouldn’t be fine with poly, and I agree, though it’s for different reasons than Spawn Astarion. Unlike SA, I think Ascended would absolutely do the brothel scene because 1. He’s actively suppressing his trauma and playing a new character and 2. He feels in control in the brothel and is the focus. However, with Halsin, he doesn’t have any control. For someone obsessed with possessing his lover and ensuring they can never leave him, letting them sleep with Halsin doesn’t fit his writing. He isn’t participating. He doesn’t know what they’re doing behind his back. For all he knows, Halsin and the player might be discussing how to kill Astarion or escape him. In some deleted party banter, Halsin literally tells Ascended Astarion he doesn’t approve of the abusive spawn/master relationship they’ve formed. With that knowledge, not only should Halsin not be willing to join a poly relationship that he thinks is unhealthy, but he has a motivation to help the player get away from AA (and AA would know this). I could see Spawn Astarion hesitantly agreeing to the Halsin thing despite not wanting to share, but AA just wouldn’t. It feels contrary to both his and Halsin’s writing.
   
10. This is the second most convincing piece of evidence for me: The Drow twins. If you ask Astarion to join a ‘group activity’, he’ll use his fake voice and flighty laugh and agree to go through it, saying he’ll run away if he doesn’t like it and comparing the act to burning in the sun (a little concerning that he’s already comparing the two). Then during the act, he will immediately ask the player what they want “us” to do. Not only is he lumping himself in with the prostitutes, but he is also doing something that an Origin playthrough reveals is a trigger for him (he tells the drow twins that being ‘told what to do’ reminds him of his time as a slave). If the player tries to check up on him, he ignores them and says he wishes he was drunk. Then he disassociates and never brings it up again. This has been viewed two ways: either he doesn’t want to have casual sex anymore and wants to be in a one-on-one relationship, or he does want to do stuff like this but just needs to heal more before he can. I lean toward the first assumption because he is acting flighty and fake BEFORE the sexual act even begins. If he really wanted to do it but changed his mind after, it makes more sense for him to sound genuine at first, then fake halfway through.
    

But the main thing that sticks out to me is his reaction to you asking for only ONE drow twin. If you do, he will accuse you of having a thing for prostitutes and call it embarrassing, then glare at you for the rest of the conversation. This is especially sad because not only have the player’s actions made him feel like a prostitute again, but now he seems to be wondering if you started dating him BECAUSE he was a prostitute, not for who he really is.
Compare this to the Halsin situation and the drow ‘group activity’. For Halsin, he says he was expecting this for months. He’s had several months to plan his reaction and decide what he’s willing to tolerate. Hence, he has a very rehearsed reaction. With the twins, he had less time to anticipate this but probably also worried about it (especially if the player asked about them earlier and he said no. Now he expects the player to try again and has planned accordingly). Again, this response feels rehearsed and fake. The only response where he uses his real voice is when you ask for one of the twins alone. This is something he likely wouldn’t plan for, so we get to see his gut reaction for the first time: he doesn’t want you to do it.
Now some people argue that he’s fine with Halsin and not the other Origin characters because Halsin is just a fling and won’t try to take his spot. If that’s the case, he should be fine with the twins too. If anything, they are even less of a threat. Yet he doesn’t want you to do it and responds accordingly. If he truly was poly, he would respond like Karlach did and tell you to have fun, or like Shadowheart telling you to give him a heads up first. But we don’t see that.
One other thing about the twins that I felt I could point out: if you or the twins ask to do a group activity before Cazador is killed, Astarion says he’s not comfortable with this yet. The “yet” part has been pointed out to show that he’s fine with it after Cazador has been killed (even though he still disassociates later). However, another explanation of the “yet” part is that he’s trying to soften the blow because he’s scared of using a blunt NO. We see this with Araj, the blood merchant. Even though he is absolutely disgusted with her treatment of him and how she’s “defiling” him with her fantasies, his rejections of her are very soft and nervous. Even when reinforced by his friend/lover, he says “It’s still a no, I’m afraid” with a smile. Turning down sexual encounters is tough for him, even when he has people backing him up, so I can see him using words like “yet” or “I’m afraid” to soften the blow. I know several people in real life who do this, despite later admitting there was no “yet”.
There’s another part of this dialogue with the early twins that I want to point out (really overanalyzing here but if we want to believe the writers do things intentionally/with a lot of forethought, I think it’s okay to read into the words they use). When Astarion says he’s not comfortable with the twins, the player’s response is “I wouldn’t ask such a thing of you”. This will raise his approval and make him respond positively. The promise you give him is not “I’ll ask them later, after we’ve killed Cazador” or “I would have liked to but okay” (that one doesn’t trigger his positive response). He only approves of you saying you won’t ask him to do things like this (stated in a tense that implies you will NEVER ask him to do such a thing, regardless of Cazador’s stabbed or unstabbed state). This could have been the writer hinting that if you bring him back after, you’re going back on your promise and thus have to see the disassociating scene. That…or the writer wasn’t thinking too hard and we are simply thinking too much.

1. With all that out of the way, we’ll get to the final point that solidifies this theory for me personally. It’s the statements of Shadowheart and Minthara if you ask to do a three-way relationship with one of them and Astarion. Shadowheart’s response is: “I think you’re overestimating his willingness to share. He may seem like a carefree hedonist, but there’s something fragile beneath the façade.” Minthara says something nearly identical, that sharing would wound his pride and he is far too fragile to handle it. You could even add Astarion’s line from the other end, where if you ask Astarion to share with you and Karlach, he will say they shouldn’t because Karlach loves the player and relationships are fragile (implying that he either thinks open relationships don’t work if there’s love involved, or perhaps he himself can only do open relationships if he doesn’t love the other person).

The main argument I’ve seen disproving these statements by Shadowheart and Minthara is that they’re just plain wrong about him. If so, it’s a strange writing choice to not only have both of them be wrong about the exact same thing, but they’re both high wisdom characters who are proven to understand Astarion in a lot of ways other characters don’t. (All three of them have been enslaved and manipulated, Minthara comprehends the depths of his relationship with Cazador within minutes of being in the camp, and Shadowheart is one of the closest to Astarion in terms of friendship and liking him.)
If Astarion actually is fine with poly, then it means both Shadowheart and Minthara are wrong. That means the writers either made a mistake or made a very weird writing choice.
However, if Astarion is actually pretending to be fine with sharing as they say, not only is the writing consistent but these dialogues become very clever foreshadowing. I want to give the writers the benefit of the doubt and believe they did a good job with Astarion, so I prefer to lean into the theory that he’s pretending because it makes more sense for him overall.
That was quite a long tangent and somewhat unnecessary, but he’s a character whose mannerisms and statements are meant to be heavily analyzed, so it’s fun to go more in depth. Let’s move on.

1. ISSUES WITH HOW HALSIN WAS PRESENTED

We’re finally at the last point, and in a way the direct cause of this entire thread: Halsin. Now, I have no issue with Halsin being poly (again, he’s listed as one of my four ideal options for it) but I do have several issues with how he was written and presented. The Shadowheart part I will skip over because I already got into it, but there are many other problems to address and most of them could have been fixed very easily.

1. He is not presented as poly until Act 3. I was reading through a thread full of people who loved him and several of them were early access players who had requested he become a romance option. However, the reason they requested him was very important. In EA, all three of the male options seemed immature (Wyll), condescending (Gale), or straight up evil (Astarion). Meanwhile Halsin was, in their words, a mature man who seems like the type to settle down with them in a cottage and help raise their kids. This is the impression he gives and what drew many people to him. As a result, many of these players were extremely disappointed to reach Act 3 once the game was out and discover that not only was he the complete opposite of their initial impression, but he won’t even stay with the player after the game ends (in most cases). Honestly, if I was a developer and saw that they liked him for those earlier reasons, I wouldn’t make him strictly poly because that wasn’t what the players wanted. They wanted him because he was muscular and a good, stable man. It was a very odd choice to turn around and give the players the opposite of what they asked for. But if the devs were truly determined to go the poly route, they should have at least gone back to Act 1 and 2 and slipped in some hints that he was poly. I saw some newer players who recently played the game for the first time and wanted to romance him for the aforementioned reasons (stable, mature, kind, huge). They ignored all other romances until Act 3, then got hit with the “I’m only poly” discussion. Had they known he wasn’t monogamous, they wouldn’t have blown off all the other options.
   
2. But let’s ignore that. We’re focusing on the world where he IS completely poly (though some were arguing that it should at least be an option to ask if he’ll try being monogamous with the player.) The way he is presented still has a lot of issues according to poly players. For one, the way he tries to butt in on the relationship is done in a really sketchy manner (especially considering what some of the Origin characters have gone through/are currently going through). It would have been far better to do what they did with Minsc and give the PLAYER the option to hit on Halsin, rather than the other way around. Have them offer poly to him, and then he can discuss it from there. Having the proposition come from Halsin himself puts him in a negative light, and it’s pretty clear the writers didn’t actually want to portray him as a bad person so they messed up here.
   
3. The flagging for Halsin’s dialogues is awful and despite seeing people report it for eight months, that hasn’t changed. Even if you pick the most neutral option, he will still hit on you by saying “I think you feel the same way”. Not a good idea. “I HOPE you feel the same way” would have been infinitely better. Women often have to deal with people assuming their friendly, professional conversation is something more when it isn’t. It’s not a great idea to bring that into fantasy games too. It hit too close to home for some.
   
4. Even if you use the most neutral option at the Act 1 party (“Go have fun and mingle”), your main dialogue option the next day is “Sorry for coming on so strong last night”. It’s a strange thing to say. Again, I’m not sure how developers missed this and why it was never patched out. I saw people reporting it since the release.
   
5. He will also ask for a relationship at neutral approval. In most of my playthroughs, I stopped talking to him beyond the Thaniel quest and avoided asking about his personal life. He still led his proposition with “I think you feel the same way”. How does he know when we only spoke to him three times? They should have at least required you to go through all his extra dialogues before triggering this.
   
6. When Halsin says he loves you, you have two options: reject him straight away, or ask about his opinions a little more. Oddly enough, if you ask a bit more and THEN reject him, he’ll have a proper response. “That’s fine. I understand. I won’t ask again.” However, if you reject him as soon as he starts talking to you, his response is very off putting. He’ll protest and say, “but you asked me about my former lovers” or, if you didn’t even do that, he’ll claim “you looked after me with the care of a lover, not a host.” These pushy assumptions turned a lot of people off. This is entirely on the writer, in my opinion. He should have realized how weird these sounded.
   
7. Halsin is the only person you can’t dismiss from your camp at any point through dialogue. All of the origins have to be pursued and recruited intentionally. Halsin is the only exception. This makes some sense because you need him to cure the Shadowlands, but for Act 3, he literally has nothing to do. They should have given players an option after the Ketheric fight to dismiss him and tell him to take care of the Shadowlands. It makes a lot more sense narratively and would help avoid a lot of the more awkward parts later.
   
8. Halsin’s initial dialogue about monogamy vs. polyamory is mostly fine, with him comparing it to gardens and wolves vs. bears. But (and don’t quote me on this because I can’t recall the specifics), if you ask your partner to do poly and they say no, Halsin will be a little more judgmental about your partner, saying he was hoping they would be more “open minded”. Statistically, the majority of BG3’s players are going to be monogamous, so it’s strange to see nearly every character (monogamous or poly) criticize monogamy in some way. It is called selfish, narrow minded, and old fashioned by at least 3 characters to my knowledge (Halsin, Act 1 Astarion, and even Gale (who is monogamous himself)). If the developers truly wanted to be inclusive, criticizing one’s lifestyle and having no characters openly defend it in the game (even those who practice it) is a disappointing choice. In this case, it might be an unintentional mistake (maybe they feared that by defending monogamy, they were somehow demonizing polygamy or polyamory), but it would have been better to just leave the criticisms out of it entirely if that was the case.
   

And that’s it. I think that’s all the points from myself and others that I wanted to compile. I don’t think any of this will be changed in BG3 but I hope all of these points and opinions will at least improve any future games. It’s great that BG3 was able to make nuanced characters with their own opinions and preferences—I much prefer it to “everyone is poly and no one gets mad if you cheat” games where characters feel more like statues than living beings—but I do wish they thought the poly options through more carefully (trying to make poly people comfortable while leaving room for monogamous players to enjoy the romances too).
The only feasible fix the developers could make at this point to avoid all the issues mentioned is keeping Halsin poly but removing his connections to other Origin romances (or at least Karlach and Astarion). At this point, that’s the only thing that could realistically be done. I also wish they made characters break up with you if you cheat on them in the brothel, since that’s what many people including myself would do.
Again, these opinions are my own (and those that aren’t come from a variety of comments across Youtube, Reddit, and Larian’s forums). I enjoyed getting to see so many different viewpoints and appreciated how civil (most of) the people on both sides were. It’s an interesting topic and here’s hoping game studios handle it better in the future.
If anyone reads this far and wants links to the threads, forums, and youtube comment sections, let me know.

Hi everyone,
I hope you’re all doing well! I’m currently working on my first Anki deck and have a question: How important is the verb tense of the words I include? Should I start by learning them primarily in the present tense, or does the tense not really matter?
Thanks in advance for your advice!

If you’d like to add an event to our calendar, submit an event here. Please check with the event organizers to see if events change due to weather. Have a great week!
See the full weekly calendar on our website.

Noteworthy Events

The Lion King at DPAC

• Winner of six Tony Awards®, including Best Musical, this landmark musical event brings together one of the most imaginative creative teams on Broadway.
• Wed, May 15 - Sun, June 9
• $29.50+

Adult Recess at CCB Plaza

• Let your inner child shine as you play games, make crafts, and enjoy the fresh air during your lunch break!
• Wed, May 15
• 12-2 p.m.
• Free admission

Duke Baseball vs UNC at Jack Coombs Field

• Thu, May 16 - Sat, May 18

Bimbé Celebration at Rock Quarry Park

• This family-oriented event is a celebration of African and African American history, culture, arts, and traditions. This year's headliner: Monica!
• Sat, May 18
• 1-7 p.m.
• Free admission

Peter Pan at The Carolina Theatre

• This adventure begins at the London home of the Darling family, a typical evening in 1912, as the weary parents try to settle their children down for bed while the young ones insist on staying up late. Little do Wendy, John, and Michael know that a fantastic journey awaits them that night.
• Sat, May 18
• 3 p.m. and 6 p.m.
• $32+

DPW Limit Break at Durham Convention Center

• Wrestlers from all over the world will gather in one place for a night you won't forget.
• Sun, May 19
• 7 p.m.
• $25+

Multi-Day Events

The NGIN Cityscapes Summit at Durham Convention Center

• Hosted by national nonprofit, New Growth Innovation Network, prepare to connect with like-minded professionals and engage with purpose-driven organizations. Immerse yourself in workshops and captivating keynotes from renowned speakers, featuring three tracks of insightful sessions: Inclusive Capital, Community Wealth Building, and Reimagining Systems.
• Wed, May 15 - Fri, May 17
• Registration fees vary

Durham Greek Festival at St. Barbara Greek Orthodox Church

• Enjoy fabulous Greek food, desserts, wine and beer in a festive outdoor atmosphere. Continuous Greek music and scheduled folk dance performances.
• Sat, May 18, 11 a.m. - 9 p.m. and Sun, May 19, 11 a.m. - 7 p.m.
• Free admission

Historic Buildings Open House at West Point on the Eno Park

• Enjoy a look inside the historic McCown-Mangum House, Photography Museum, and Mill.
• Sat, May 18 and Sun, May 19
• 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.
• Free admission

Movies at The Carolina Theatre

• Libeled Lady
• Dirty Harry & Assault on Precinct 13
• Cat City
• Back to Black
• Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
• UHF

Monday, May 13

2 p.m.
Board Game Night at The Glass Jug in Downtown Durham
5 p.m.
Arts & Drafts at Fullsteam Brewery
6 p.m.
Disc Golf Putting League at The Glass Jug in RTP
6:30 p.m.
Trivia Night at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
7 p.m.
Community Board Game Night at Moon Dog Meadery

Tuesday, May 14

Events at Durty Bull Brewing Brewing Company

• 12-8 p.m. - Food Truck: Mike's Vegan Cookout
• 7-9 p.m. - Bull City Beer Runners Run Club
• 7-8 p.m. - Puzzled Pints Game Night

Events at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in Downtown Durham

• 5:45-6:30 p.m. - Community Zumba Classes
• 6-8 p.m. - Music Bingo

Events at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP

• 6-8 p.m. - The Glass Jog Run Club
• 6-9 p.m. - Stitch & Sip

5:30 p.m.
Boxyard Run Club at Boxyard RTP
6 p.m.
In Other Words at Arcana
Duke Baseball vs College of Charleston at Jack Coombs Field
Bring Your Own Vinyl with Jaffar at Rubies on Five Points
Women on the Wall at Triangle Rock Club - Durham
6:30 p.m.
Trivia at Durham Food Hall
Pony Ride at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
7 p.m.
Trivia at Beer Study Durham
Not Rocket Science Trivia at DSSOLVR Durham
Tuesday Blues Jam at The Blue Note Grill
8 p.m.
Comedy Night at Bull City Ciderworks
Jeremy 'Bean' Clemons Trio at Kingfisher
Enter Shikari at Motorco Music Hall
Vision Video + Tears For The Dying at The Pinhook

Wednesday, May 15

Events at Atomic Empire

• 6:30 p.m. - Dragon Ball Fusion World Release Event
• 7 p.m. - Flesh and Blood Armory Event

Events at Boxyard RTP

• 12-2 p.m. - Hear & There: Daniel Delorenzo
• 5:30-8:30 p.m. - Game Night

Events at ZincHouse Winery & Brewery

• 7-8 p.m. - Signature Wine Tasting
• 7-8:30 p.m. - Laughs Comedy Night

9 a.m.
Senior Short Game Clinic at Hillandale Golf Course
10:30 a.m.
Storytime on the Roof with Durham County Library at The Durham Hotel
12 p.m.
Adult Recess at CCB Plaza
3 p.m.
Durham Farmers’ Market at Durham Central Park
4 p.m.
Whiskey Wednesdays at Alley Twenty Six
5 p.m.
Free Wednesday Wine Tasting at Beer Study Durham
5:30 p.m.
Ride of Silence at CCB Plaza
6 p.m.
Queer Craft Night and Tarot with Joy at Arcana
Bimbe Community Block Party at Holton Career & Resource Center
Come Take a Flight With Us: A Bright Black Workshop at Proximity Brewing Company
Free RTP Business Rockstar Connect Networking Event at Sheraton Imperial Hotel
Sweet Social: Auntie's African Ice Cream at The Durham Hotel
6:30 p.m.
Trivia Night with Pickle at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
7 p.m.
Bottle Swap: Homebrew Club at Durty Bull Brewing Brewing Company
Skip The Small Talk: Speed Friending Event at Fullsteam Brewery
Hammered Trivia at Hi-Wire Brewing
Karaoke Night at Mavericks Smokehouse
Music Bingo at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
3rd Wednesday Jazz Jam Session at Succotash Southern & Creole Kitchen
Brett Chambers Open Mic at The Blue Note Grill
8 p.m.
Air Hockey Tournament at Boxcar Bar + Arcade
Trivia Night at Bull McCabe's
Karaoke at Moon Dog Meadery
The Weeks at Motorco Music Hall
Blends With Friends at The Pinhook

Thursday, May 16

Events at Boxyard RTP

• 7:30-8 a.m. - Bike Durham: Bike to Work
• 12-2 p.m. - Taking Back Thursday: Sheila Casalett

Events at Durty Bull Brewing Brewing Company

• 12-8 p.m. -Food Truck: Mike's Vegan Cookout
• 7-9 p.m. - Thursday Trivia with Nick

8:30 a.m.
Harnessing the Power of AI to Ensure Equitable HR Practices at RTI Holden Building
9:30 a.m.
Guide Supported Canoeing, Kayaking, and Standup Paddleboarding at Eno River
12:15 p.m.
Midday Meander: A Strolling Conversation at Sarah P. Duke Gardens
3 p.m.
Guided Museum Tour at 21c Museum Hotels Durham
5 p.m.
Thirsty Thursdays at Dashi
Righteous Roots Reggae Show at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
5:30 p.m.
Walking Club with Bull City Strollers at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in Downtown Durham
6 p.m.
Queer Trivia at Arcana
Vinyl Night with DJ Deckades at Gizmo Brew Works
6:15 p.m.
Pony Run at Ponysaurus Brewing Company
6:30 p.m.
AfterHours: Science of Beer at Museum of Life and Science
Line Dance Classes at Mystic Farm and Distillery
Space Code Youth Open Mic at NorthStar Church of the Arts
Boulders & Brews Meetup at Triangle Rock Club - Durham
7 p.m.
Trivia Night at Beer Tooth Taproom
Bimbé Cypher at CCB Plaza
Bring Your Own Vinyl Night at Congress Social Bar
Duke Baseball vs UNC at Jack Coombs Field
Summer Jazz Jam (Curated by Al Strong) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
Community Board Game Night at Moon Dog Meadery
Al Strong Presents Jazz on the Roof at The Durham Hotel
7:30 p.m.
Trivia Night with Big Slow Tom at Clouds Brewing Brightleaf Square
Reverend Billy C. Wirtz / Armand Lenchek & Carter Minor at The Blue Note Grill
Pillow Talk: Speed Dating and Conversations About Sex / Sexuality at The Pinhook
8 p.m.
Weekly Single Mingle at Boxcar Bar + Arcade
Trivia at Fullsteam Brewery
Danny Lopriore at Motorco Music Hall
9 p.m.
DJ Halo Presents: No Requests at Rubies on Five Points
9:30 p.m.
Karaoke Night at The Tavern

Friday, May 17

Events at Atomic Empire

• 6:30 p.m. - Lorcana: Ursula’s Return Release Event
• 6:30 p.m. - Commander Legends: Battle for Baldur's Gate Draft

Events at Durty Bull Brewing Company

• 5-9 p.m. - Food Truck: La Republica Taco Truck
• 8-11 p.m. - Open Mic Stand-up Comedy

Events at Mettlesome

• 7:30-9 p.m. - Wit: An Improv Comedy Game Show
• 9-10 p.m. - Hush Hush

Events at Moon Dog Meadery

• 6:45 p.m. - Lindy Hop Lesson + Dance
• 7:30 p.m. - Djam
• 9:30 p.m. - Bachata Dance Night

Events at The Blue Note Grill

• 6-8 p.m. - The Duke Street Dogs
• 9:15 p.m. - The Beautiful People Club

10 a.m.
Tasting at Ten at Counter Culture Coffee
12 p.m.
Co-Working Social at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in Downtown Durham
4 p.m.
Late Spring Tree Ramble at Sarah P. Duke Gardens
5 p.m.
Guided Museum Tours at 21c Museum Hotels Durham
Food Truck Friday at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
5:30 p.m.
LOJO: Log Off, Jam On at Boxyard RTP
6 p.m.
Aly J & Kevin Clark and Tarot with Kathleen at Arcana
Third Friday Art Walk at Downtown Durham
Friday Night Makes at Durham Arts Council
May Third Friday at Durham Arts Council
Counterpoints Exhibition Reception at Durham Bottling Co.
Third Friday at Golden Belt Arts
Duke Baseball vs UNC at Jack Coombs Field
Screenprint Roundup at The Fruit
The Patio Dance Parties : Clueless Fridays at Unscripted Durham
6:30 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
7 p.m.
Live Vinyl Spinning by PhDJ at Beer Study Durham
Early Show: John Howie Jr. / Ramona and The Holy Smokes at The Pinhook
7:30 p.m.
Evening Eno Exploration Paddle at Eno River
Evan Ringel & Ariel Pocock at Sharp 9 Gallery
8 p.m.
Pass the Aux at Boricua Soul
Stereo Reveries at DSSOLVR Durham
Karaoke! at Fullsteam Brewery
Cheekface at Motorco Music Hall
Dance Blues Friday at Studio 5
9 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
10 p.m.
The Floor: Special Guest THEYDYLIKE at Rubies on Five Points

Saturday, May 18

Events at Atomic Empire

• 11 a.m. - Pokémon TCG: League Cup
• 1 p.m. - Lorcana: Ursula’s Return Release Event
• 2 p.m. - Game Designers of North Carolina Meetup

Events at Boxyard RTP 11 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. - Will & Well: Grand Opening

• 11:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. - Saturdaze: DJ k.ward

Events at Durty Bull Brewing Company

• 1-8 p.m. - Food Truck: Death By Taco
• 3-7 p.m. - 3rd Saturday Vintage + Maker Market
• 5-9 p.m. - Home Brewed: CNOTE Art Spectacular

Distillery Tours and Tastings at Liberty & Plenty

• Every Saturday, 10-10:30 a.m. and 11-11:30 a.m.

Events at Mettlesome

• 7:30-8:30 p.m. - House Party
• 8:30-9:30 p.m. - Harold Night
• 9:30-10:30 p.m. - Mint Condition Standup Showcase

Events at The Fruit

• 5-8 p.m. - Menace To Society Album Listening Party
• 7:30-10 p.m. - HUMP! Film Festival
• 10 p.m. - 2 a.m. - Puro Perreo Pari

Events at The Pinhook

• 7:30 p.m. - Boogie Burly Nights... A Groovy 70s Show
• 10:30 p.m. - Drake and Friends 2

Guided Walking Tours with Triangle Adventures

• 2 p.m. - Downtown Durham Walking Tour
• 4 p.m. - Durham African American History Tour
• 6 p.m. - Downtown Durham True Crime Tour

7 a.m.
Lookin For A Cure at Bull City Running Company-South
8 a.m.
Durham Farmers' Market at Durham Central Park
parkrun Durham at Southern Boundaries Park
9 a.m.
South Durham Farmers' Market at Greenwood Commons Shopping Center
9:30 a.m.
Guide Supported Canoeing, Kayaking, and Standup Paddleboarding at Eno River
10 a.m.
Pop Up Record Show at Beer Durham
Durham's Home Goods Market at Black Wall St Gardens
Bear Awareness Week at Museum of Life and Science
10:30 a.m.
Mother's Day Brunch at The Durham Hotel
11 a.m.
Battle of the Blades 2024 at Historic Durham Athletic Park
12 p.m.
Springtime Outdoor Market at Boxcar Bar + Arcade
Crafternoons at Gizmo Brew Works
Preservation Durham Annual Home Tour: The Rambling Ranch at Orchard Park Picnic Shelter
1 p.m.
Duke Baseball vs UNC at Jack Coombs Field
Say It With Glass Workshop - Sam Nguyen at Moon Dog Meadery
Bimbé Celebration at Rock Quarry Park
2 p.m.
Closing Reception — Dan Gottlieb: Figure Ground at Craven Allen Gallery
Durham "Bullpen" Treasure Hunt - Walking Team Scavenger Hunt! at Fullsteam Brewery
3 p.m.
A Beautiful Noise Spring Concert by the Common Woman Chorus at Eno River Unitarian Universalist Fellowship
Peter Pan at The Carolina Theatre
4 p.m.
Family Fun Saturday: May Flowers at Guglhupf Restaurant
5 p.m.
Rooftops and Alleyways Community Canvas Wall Brawl at Dashi
Durham Blues & Brews Festival at Durham Central Park
Hops & Blues at The Glass Jug Beer Lab in RTP
6 p.m.
The Moon Unit and Tarot with Emily at Arcana
Peter Pan at The Carolina Theatre
6:30 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
7 p.m.
A Beautiful Noise Spring Concert by the Common Woman Chorus at Eno River Unitarian Universalist Fellowship
Crones of Anarchy: Blues, Rock, Americana at Succotash Southern & Creole Kitchen
7:30 p.m.
Jim Ketch Swingtet at Sharp 9 Gallery
Big Birthday Dance Party: Combo Platter with 2 Sides at The Blue Note Grill
8:15 p.m.
BBYMUTHA: Sleep Paralysis Tour 2024 at Motorco Music Hall
9 p.m.
Kayla Waters (Hosted by Marcus Anderson) at Missy Lane's Assembly Room
10 p.m.
Fortune Factory Presents: Taurus Dance Party at Rubies on Five Points

Sunday, May 19

Events at Atomic Empire

• 11:30 a.m. - Star Wars: Shatterpoint Tournament
• 12 p.m. - Battletech Campaign Day
• 1 p.m. - Lorcana: Ursula’s Return Release Event

Events at Durty Bull Brewing Company

• 2-4 p.m. - Hammered Trivia with Casey
• 4-8 p.m. - The Blood Connection Blood Drive

10 a.m.
Jazz Brunch at Lula & Sadie's
10:30 a.m.
Al Strong Presents Jazz Brunch at Alley Twenty Six
12 p.m.
Preservation Durham Annual Home Tour: The Rambling Ranch at Orchard Park Picnic Shelter
Sunday Dollar Bin Sale for Charity at Rumors Durham
Supernatural Sunday - Psychic Affair + Healers Market at Weldon Mills Distillery
Farmers Market at ZincHouse Winery & Brewery
12:15 p.m.
Public Tour at Duke Chapel
2 p.m.
Hillandale Golf Beginner Clinic at Hillandale Golf Course
3:30 p.m.
Davis Dance Company Spring Recital 2024 at The Carolina Theatre
4 p.m.
Showings at Scripps: Miguel Gutierrez at ADF's Samuel H. Scripps Studios
Carmina Burana at Baldwin Auditorium
Día de las Madres Kermes at El Futuro’s Therapeutic Green Space
String Break at Fullsteam Brewery
6 p.m.
Emma Jane's EP Release Show and Tarot with Joy at Arcana
Davis Dance Company Spring Recital 2024 at The Carolina Theatre
6:30 p.m.
Open Mic Night at Moon Dog Meadery
7 p.m.
DPW Limit Break at Durham Convention Center

Running Art Exhibit

Hometown (Inherited): Ten Year Retrospective at The Fruit

• This project examines the changing landscape of our city through a series of forty mixed media pieces the artist has created since 2014.
• Third Friday openings on Apr 19 and May 17, 6-9 p.m.
• Drop-in by appointment and Wednesdays 4-7 p.m.
• Free admission

Dan Gottlieb: Figure Ground at Craven Allen Gallery

• Each piece begins as a photograph, which is then printed on acrylic and worked with a variety of paints and compounds to create a unique surface.
• Sat, May 4 - Sat, May 18
• Free admission

Constellations: 40 Years of Explorations within Sacred Geometry by Steven Ferlauto at Horse & Buggy Press and Friends

• Sacred Geometry is an ancient field of physics whose equations are expressed through shape. Shape is a way to explore the universal fabric of our existence.
• Sat, May 4 - Sat, June 1
• Free admission

It Ain’t All Black And White at DAG Truist Gallery

• It Ain’t All Black and White is a photography exhibition that encourages us to consider emotions such as serenity, apprehension, yearning, and more.
• Captured by 11 dynamic photographers dedicated to documenting the fullness and complexity of Black life, this exhibition offers each of us an opportunity to see ourselves with renewed attention.
• Thu, Apr 25 - Sun, June 2

María Magdalena Campos-Pons: Behold at Nasher Museum of Art at Duke University

• María Magdalena Campos-Pons: Behold is a monographic exhibition of a visionary voice in photography, immersive installation, painting and performance.
• Thu, Feb 15 - Sun, Jun 9
• Every week, Tue-Sat 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sun 12-5 p.m.
• Free admission

Counterpoints at Durham Bottling Co.

• Counterpoints is a curated showcase of local AAPI (Asian American Pacific Islander) artists, delving into the convergence of AAPI identity and mental health. Inspired by the intricate layers of musical counterpoint, its purpose is to weave together diverse narratives and confront the stigma surrounding mental health within our communities.
• Wed, May 1 - Sun, June 16
• Mon - Fri, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m.

Cameron Elyse's Divine Nine Legacy Memoir Exhibition at Hayti Heritage Center

• The Divine Nine Legacy Memoir delves deep into the history of the National Panhellenic Council (NPHC) or "Divine Nine," a collective of nine Greek Letter organizations founded on May 10th, 1930.
• These organizations were born out of the necessity to provide a voice for Black American students within the collegiate space. United by principles of service, community, brotherhood, and sisterhood, the Divine Nine work collectively to uplift society through acts of service to underserved areas across the nation.
• Fri, Apr 19 - Sat, June 1
• Free admission

Previous Update discussion All Update Threads
 
New official Wiki at https://spaceengineers.wiki.gg/wiki/Space_Engineers_Wiki
 
Hello, Engineers!
The new Signal update is here! “Signal” lays the foundation for a new era of Space Engineers. 2024 will be a year of exploration, battle, and survival. This update focuses on our framework for a new standard in player versus environment.
Signal adds new choices to your creative arsenal with new blocks, specifically created for this occasion. With this new set of blocks, your remote automation can act with an entirely new level of autonomy. Where the wildly popular “Automatons” update added remote mining operations, automated drones, welding assistants and so much more, “Signal” empowers these systems to communicate! Reactive updates, straight-to-chat, as well as complex systems communicating over multiple ships, stations, or any combination are now possible!
Get live chat updates from your remote satellite array, mining drone fleet, or automated defense sentinels in Signal!
Please join us in 2024 as we explore Space Engineers like never before. We can’t wait to see what you create!

• Marek's Blog post: https://blog.marekrosa.org/2024/05/space-engineers-signal.html
• Broadcast Controller / Transponder Guide: https://www.spaceengineersgame.com/broadcast-controller-action-relay-guide/

Update 1.204 - Signal trailer (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4Me_6tcxLw)
 
Features

• Scenario selection menu overhaul for Steam Version and XBOX/Microsoft Store
• New Red Ship Starting Scenario (Quick Start) / Quick Start button in Main Menu
• Death and Respawn improvements (A Reason for your death, Cryopod death message)
• Added reload bar for static weapons
• New NPC Grid Claiming
• Reputation System Rebalance
• Improving performance of NPC Grids
• Improvements to Cargo Ship flight paths
• Added warning notifications when grinding Components to Scrap
• Block info/stats improvements (charge efficiency, production blocks)
• Cargo Container Destruction improvements, Temporary Containers
• Disabled scrap item spawning from damaged blocks by default in new Worlds
• Non-unique items can be stacked in the inventory
• Adjustment to Tree collisions
• Lightning damage disabled by default for worlds
• Improvements to F1 help screen
• Npc changes, modding (possibility to spawn paired loot in container), Drone Spawning Improvements, New Loot Container Options

 
Added new Blocks - Base Game

• Broadcast Controller (1 block, L + S grid)
• Action Relay (1 block, L + S grid)
• Additional Round Armor Panels (4 blocks, L grid + 4 blocks, S grid)
• Compact Antenna (1 block, L grid)

 
Added Content to existing DLCs:

• Scaffolding (4 blocks, L grid) (added to Deco Pack 3 )
• 9 music note sheets, concert version of in-game soundtrack (added to Deluxe Edition)

 
Signal Pack

• Official Store
• Steam
• PlayStation
• Xbox

 

• Truss Set (7 blocks, L grid + 2 blocks S grid)
  • Truss Light - S + L grid
  • Truss Pillar - S + L grid
  • Truss Pillar Diagonal - L grid
  • Truss Pillar Offset - L grid
  • Truss Pillar T - L grid
  • Truss Pillar X - L grid
  • Truss Decoy - L grid
• Corridor Blocks (8 blocks, L grid)
  • Corridor - L grid
  • Corridor Corner - L grid
  • Corridor Double Windowed Sides - L grid
  • Corridor Light - L grid
  • Corridor T Intersection - L grid
  • Corridor Windowed Roof - L grid
  • Corridor Windowed Side - L grid
  • Corridor X Intersection - L grid
• Narrow Corridor (1 block, L grid)
• Narrow Corridor Stowage (1 block, L grid)
• Narrow Door (2 blocks, L grid)
• Inset Walls Set (6 blocks, L grid)
  • Inset Wall - L grid
  • Inset Wall Corner - L grid
  • Inset Wall Corner Inv. - L grid
  • Inset Wall Diagonal - L grid
  • Inset Wall Light - L grid
  • Inset Wall Pillar - L grid
• Decorative Console Blocks (5 blocks, L grid + 5 blocks, S grid)
  • Console Module - S + L grid
  • Console Module Buttons - S + L grid
  • Console Module Corner - S + L grid
  • Console Module Corner Inv. - S + L grid
  • Console Module LCD - S + L grid
• Bay Windows Set (5 blocks, L grid + 4 blocks, S grid)
  • Bay Window - S + L grid
  • Bay Window Corner - S + L grid
  • Bay Window Dome - S + L grid
  • Bay Window End - S + L grid
  • Bay Window Railing - L grid
• 9 Tracks added to Jukebox
  • Approaching the Start [concert version]
  • The Dust
  • A New Dawn
  • Liftoff [concert version]
  • Uncharted Territory [concert version]
  • Fight Like One [concert version]
  • Warfare Trailer [live]
  • Out of Early Access [live]
  • We Are Engineers

 
Official Blueprints

• Official Blueprints: https://www.spaceengineersgame.com/community-hub/
• Weaver Shipping Platform
  • https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3242490483
  • https://mod.io/g/spaceengineers/m/weaver-shipping-platform
• Buddy Bot
  • https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3242722188
  • https://mod.io/g/spaceengineers/m/buddy-bot1
• Signal - Guide Grid
  • https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3242724302
  • https://mod.io/g/spaceengineers/m/demo-grid

 
Fixes & Improvements

• Changed ModAPI behavior for mechanical blocks to accept Attach/Detach only once per tick
• Fixed an issue where pixelated flickering would appear near large amount of light sources
• Fixed a crash when grinding down a parachute hatch at the moment of it being deployed
• Fixed an issue where clicking View (Camera block, etc...) when remotely connected to a grid beyond sync distance would kick you to spectator
• Fixed an issue where NPCs would fall through the planet upon death
• Changed Admin teleport behavior using Ctrl+Space when seated in a station. Character will be unseated and then teleported. Dynamic grid and character behavior unchanged
• Fixed an issue where "Target is out of range" would appear even to other players not currently trying to lock a target on DS
• Fixed an issue where trees would fly away after cutting them down
• Changed hand drill behavior so that at most 15 floating ore objects spawn from single voxel change, floating ores over this number are combined into bigger chunks
• Fixed an issue where the first world in the list would get published instead of the one selected by controller
• Fixed an issue where the deployed parachute would still slow the grid down even after the block was ground down into construction stage
• Fixed an issue where the AI Offensive block would get stuck in an unresponsive state while shooting
• Fixed an issue where a drone would forget "Flee to" GPS on DS
• Fixed an issue where a conveyor line to Hydrogen Tank would not get interrupted even when part of it was ground to construction stage
• Fixed an issue where a Hydrogen Tank would not fill up when the conveyor connection was built in Survival
• Fixed an issue where an alarm in Space Standoff would remain active with a dead enemy character in the area
• Fixed an issue where the removal of an item from Build Planner queue was prevented by the selection of an N/A blockvariant
• Fixed an issue where a Sensor block would fail to detect manually placed asteroids
• Fixed an issue where a Connector status would get desynchronized and appear unlocked for some and locked for others on DS
• Fixed an issue where copypasting Body location GPS would try converting the date and time into coordinates
• Fixed an issue where player would get kicked from DS after trying to weld projection too fast
• Fixed an issue where spherical safe zones would fail to identify what is and what isnt contained in the field
• Fixed an issue where ModAPI IMyTurretControlBlock.Target returned itself
• Fixed an issue where graphical artifacts appeared when weather was present due to precision loss
• Fixed an issue where safe zone would reject and continue rejecting a grid, accelerating it to max speed
• Fixed an issue where Idle movement would not work for Searchlight in MP
• Fixed a crash when attempting to crush a grid with another grid
• Fixed an issue where a turned off Sensor would still visualize the Show sensor field range
• Fixed an issue where a character would jump low and near in low artificial gravity
• Fixed an issue where the Day duration slider and description in Advanced world settings would break visually
• Fixed an issue where the info about Help keybinding would not change on the HUD when key was rebound
• Fixed an issue where NPCs would not be able to follow player onto a ramp of sufficient height and elevation
• Fixed an issue where NPCs would get stuck on steep surfaces or could not follow player near trees
• Changed NPC behavior when they cannot reach a target to wander around instead of stopping and waiting
• Fixed an issue where turning off Saberoids/Spiders on DS would not make them despawn
• Fixed an issue with Z-fighting on the small grid oxygen tank
• Fixed an issue where a copied Rocket turret in combat would continue actively shooting after pasting without having a target
• Fixed an issue where block's destroy particles would not scale with its dimensions
• Fixed Enable drones and Enable voxel hand toggles in Advanced World Settings not having a tooltip
• Fixed an issue where lootable NPCs would not be displaying their names when highlighted
• Fixed an issue where the muzzle flash particle would look as a 1 pixel wide line above the iron sights when in that mode by adding support for ironsight particle
• Fixed an issue where NPCs would stop their AI after reloading a save
• Fixed an issue where a ship would have trouble orientating itself along recorded path in gravity
• Fixed an issue where a server could start with a 3rd party generated or incorrect password salt causing connecting Clients to crash on join
• Fixed an issue where one of the Mission Briefing datapads in the Space Standoff would contain old version of the text
• Fixed an issue where the Space Credits icon would not be displayed in economy screens on PlayStation
• Fixed an issue where the direction of shooting would follow the decoupled crosshair in 3rd person and not the direction the character and weapon was facing on DS
• Fixed an issue with Z-fighting on the Inset Bed block
• Fixed an issue where all Barrel blocks would be under Block Weapons tab. Explosive Barrel moved under Warheads, others moved to Cargo section
• Fixed an issue where Assault turrets would continue to spin after being turned off during idle movement
• Fixed an issue where LCDs would be too bright, causing the text to be harder to read
• Fixed an issue where UI opacity could be set too low, preventing the player from seeing completely
• Fixed an issue where Willis Duct Light would have incorrect research dependency
• Fixed an issue where Small grid Railgun collision models would be too large
• Fixed an issue where ModAPI for IMyExhaust, IMyPowerProducer and IMyReactor interfaces would extend the in-game variants
• Fixed an issue where h2/o2 Generator would mirror incorrectly
• Fixed an issue where a newly added item to a Jukebox playlist would advance the Jukebox UI to the last song but still remain playing the current one
• Fixed an issue where Event Controller would forget assigned blocks on paste on DS
• Fixed an issue where ModSDK tools ModelViewer and BehaviorTree would produce an exception on startup

 
Support Site Fixes

• Fixed a crash when deleting a cargo filled with non-stackable items
• Fixed a crash when splitting a grid with an LCD in a construction stage
• Fixed a crash when Event Controller was set up to attach/detach a mechanical block top part at the same time
• Fixed a crash when a Connector would try to repeatedly attach or detach while already attaching/detaching
• Fixed an issue where the upper parts of an o2/h2 Generator would not have mountpoints
• Fixed an issue where the collisions of small grid Autocannon and Assault cannon turrets would be too large
• Fixed an issue where the Custom Turret Controller would forget assigned weapons and settings after grid split/merge
• Fixed an issue where the Pirate Base on the Moon would spawn drones with Atmospheric thrusters
• Fixed an issue where an LCD with too long of a text would freeze or crash the game. Now text max 65k characters long. Title max 512 characters.
• Fixed an issue where a CTC powered rocket launchers would not lead a target
• Fixed an issue where small grid Small Connector was able to connect from the sides
• Fixed an issue where an assigned toolbar action would work even through a physical connection like Landing gear instead of logical like Connector
• Fixed an issue where it was possible to receive an invite dialog from a multiplayer game other than SE, resulting in an error
• Fixed an issue where CTC selected weapons would not persist through save/restart on DS
• Fixed an issue where an AI offensive block with intercept would be prevented from retargetting by collision avoidance
• Fixed an issue where an AI recorder would not trigger setup actions at the waypoints
• Fixed an issue where the time to target lock was too long. When the target is a grid, the locking time is 5 seconds down from 10 seconds.
• Fixed an issue where purple texture would get used on voxels after changing graphics settings
• Fixed an issue where Alt+mouse camera control would not work when controlling CTC
• Fixed an issue where Preserve aspect ratio would not work on curved LCDs
• Fixed a crash when entering a cockpit with specific toolbar setup
• Fixed an issue where it was impossible to access interactive elements of other blocks obscured by the Holo LCD
• Fixed an issue where it would spawn players under the ground if the spawn point was embedded in voxel
• Fixed an issue where AI offensive block would lose assigned weapons on grid split
• Fixed a crash when a missile type projectile hit a door subpart while mid open/close
• Fixed an issue where the Flare launcher had an incorrect dummy
• Fixed an issue where the the Safezone would incorrectly determine if something was in or not
• Fixed an issue where a character in jetpack on a DS would start copying rotation of a nearby spinning grid
• Fixed an issue where the small grid Rocket turret would have a hole in its model
• Fixed an issue where the displayed mass of a grid would not update on change due to the calculation not taking multipliers into account
• Fixed an issue where the UV textures on the ladder block decals would not be correct
• Fixed an issue where small grid Landing gear collision models would be too large
• Fixed an issue in the Industrial cockpit model
• Fixed an issue where large grid Connector collision models would be too large
• Fixed an issue where small grid Ship drill collision models would be too large
• Fixed an issue where Oxygen farm collision models would be too large
• Fixed an issue where small grid Rotor collision models would be too large
• Fixed an issue where small grid Advanced Rotor collision models would be too large
• Fixed an issue where Ship Welder model would have a see-thru seam around the conveyor port
• Fixed an issue where {player_count} in server Motd would count NPCs as players
• Fixed an issue where the Medical room block had incorrect mounpoints
• Fixed an issue where the grid would explode after attaching it to a fallen tree with a Landing gear
• Fixed an issue where the large grid Ship welder was not able to touch the conveyor with its conveyor port
• Fixed an issue where the Oxygen farm model was not able to touch the conveyor with its conveyor port
• Fixed an issue where hydrogen would not flow through sorters in the opposite way
• Fixed an issue where the AI blocks would not calculate with the mass of subgrids as well
• Fixed an issue where NPCs would attack through closed doors
• Fixed an issue where a Beacon would interfere with Remote control and remote connection to a grid
• Fixed an issue where the base of a large grid Antenna was not centered
• Fixed an issue where Large oxygen tank conveyor port models would intersect with conveyor lines a bit
• Fixed an issue where large grid Large cargo container conveyor ports would not touch with other connected blocks
• Fixed an issue where the small grid Gyroscope would appear to levitate above the surface
• Fixed an issue where Jump drive had holes in its model
• Fixed an issue where smal grid Small cargo models would not visually connect
• Fixed an issue where Ion thruster models did not visually connect
• Fixed an issue where Atmospheric thruster model would have a gap in it
• Fixed an issue where Programmable block API for Laser antenna was not working
• Fixed an issue where the Offset door collision models would be too large
• Fixed an issue where filled gas Tanks would show damage effects after being ground below functional
• Fixed an issue where the Chat spam protection would time out even Admins
• Fixed an issue where the scrollable server Player list would not fit all players
• Fixed an issue where Aquarium bubbles would show and animate in projections
• Fixed an issue where Inset couch would mirror incorrectly
• Fixed an issue where the Sensor block would not be able to detect players laying in beds
• Fixed an issue where the small grid Beacon did not require radio components to be functional
• Fixed an issue where the Pillar model construction stages were rotated by 90 degrees
• Fixed an issue where the player would not be informed that they are unable to spawn outside of the world size limit
• Fixed an issue where Alt+MMB would allow for items to pass through sorters the wrong way
• Fixed an issue where Solar panels either worked when they shouldn't or did not work when they should
• Fixed an issue where left CTRL would get ignored for crouching in localised languages, right CTRL would always be ignored when key was bound to it
• Fixed an issue where small grid Blast door edge collision models would be too large
• Fixed an issue where AI blocks would be ignored in the power priority rankings and lose power
• Fixed an issue where a multiplayer lobby would fail to download specific mods
• Fixed an issue where control of a remote grid would not persist through save/restart of a server
• Fixed an issue where a Piston would not allow other Pistons being placed around it
• Fixed an issue where a Drone collision avoidance would try to avoid its own subgrids and refuse to fly to Waypoints
• Fixed an issue where there would be less planetary boulder spawning
• Fixed an issue where AI Offensive block would continue shooting even after target was destroyed
• Fixed an issue where it would not be possible to place a block onto the top part of a piston placed horizontally on a surface
• Fixed an issue where sounds would be almost inaudible in the right channel of a Stereo setup
• Fixed an issue where a leftover Debug Draw would appear when target pattern was set to hit and run on AI Offensive block
• Fixed an issue where AI recorder would name waypoints differently in the Detailinfo than in the Waypoints list
• Fixed an issue where Offensive word filter would try to protect player even in non-shareable areas of the UI

 

• Official patch notes (PC)
• Official patch notes (PlayStation)
• Official patch notes (Xbox)

 
Hotfixes will be listed in a reply comment below:
 

Hi. I'm trying to get back into reading Pali after a long hiatus, but I'm really rusty.
This line is from the chant of the Five Recollections here. I feel fairly confident about the rest of the text of the chant, but am unsure about the how the plural ablatives(?) and the compounds ending in -bhāvo work together to create the sentence below. Any help would be much appreciated.

Sabbehi me piyehi manāpehi nānā-bhāvo vinā-bhāvo.
I will grow different, separate from all that is dear & appealing to me.

My main questions are: How does this mean what it means? And what is the significance of using -bhāva here insread of -dhamma, as in the preceding three lines?

Jarā-dhammo'mhi jaraṁ anatīto.
Byādhi-dhammo'mhi byādhiṁ anatīto.
Maraṇa-dhammo'mhi maraṇaṁ anatīto.

In case it's of interest, here's how I've been trying to work it out more specifically:
Are the -ehi endings ablative plurals here?
Is the particle "me" a genitive or dative ("my" or "to me") modifying the whole phrase "sabbehi piyehi manāpehi". So "from all (sabba) my (me) dear and pleasing [things] ? Or is this particle serving som other function?
And are the -bhāvo compounds bahubbihi (exocentric) compounds with the implied subject "I"? So, "I am someone with the nature/condition (bhāva) to be/become different from (ablative -ehi), separate from, all that to me is dear and pleasing?
If so, is the subject "I" understood because that was the explicit subject of the three preceding lines?
And if so, what is the significance of using "bhāva" here instead of "dhamma", as in the three preceding lines?
Is the use of bhāva related to why this in translated in the future tense, unlike in the three preceding lines which are translated in the present tense?
Or am I way off base and there is another way to parse this?
The preceding three lines had an explicit first-person singular verb form "amhi" ≈ "asmi"
Jarā-dhammo'mhi
Literally "I am one whose nature (dhamma) is aging

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You can search any Amazon store for "Teleporting Dummies" or this Booklinker link will take you directly to the listing in your local Amazon store:
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If you want to discuss free books, of if you have any suggestions for making future books more useful, you can reach out to us at [info@krugerinstitute.com](mailto:info@krugerinstitute.com).
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I pulled up to the Lake Mart gas station convenience store and parked near the entrance in front of the ice machine. It wasn’t a parking spot but I have a small car, a Miata, so I figured no one would mind, plus I would just be in and out real quick - all I needed was a pack of smokes and two white Monster energy drinks. I flung open the door and got out with ease since I had the top down(when the top is up it’s like crawling into a coffin which is kinda cozy in its own way but still hard to get in and out of). I was wearing cheap, black Amazon sweatpants and crocs and a very expensive beige long sleeve V cut sweater. It was a mismatch of the highest order but I didn’t give a shit. “That ain’t a parking spot buddy!” I hear coming from the Ford F-250 filling up with poor-grade 87 unleaded at the pump, the truck isn’t even a manly diesel. I glare at him and yell back: “How’s the ride in that thing? Probably bounces you around a lot on these roads and reminds you of riding your boyfriend.” A very overweight shit kicker type of fella walks around from the side of the F-250. His boots were covered in dried mud along with his Carrhart overalls. It wasn’t fresh mud but definitely from the previous week’s worth of laboring somewhere horrible. “What did you say to me!?” He bellowed. There was some sort of food stain on the front of his T-shirt, possibly mayonnaise or some other condiment. Strange tho since it was only 7:00AM so he clearly wore the shirt the day or days before. “Oh, sorry.” I said to him after seeing his size. “I didn’t realize you were so big, you must be more of a doggy style power bottom type.” “What the fuck does that mean?” he said to me. “It means you’re too fucking fat to be on top of your boyfriend. He rails you from behind.” “Oh that’s it you fuck!” he yelled and started to run at me. Oh shit I thought, I really let my mouth get me into a situation for no real reason. But actually, no fuck this guy, he started it by telling me I can’t park in front of the ice machine. That’s clearly a violation of the Bill of Rights and flagrant treading on me. He was fairly fast for a fat guy but I knew I was faster and had more endurance. I stood there at first near the front of my Miata and he was running full speed and as he closed the distance he stretched his arms out with the intention of grabbing me(to probably try and make out with me). At the last second I strafed to the right behind the safety of the front left panel of my car. Him being inertia laden, was unable to change direction in time to grab me. His arms flailed to his left at me but missed by a wide margin, He contorted his body in trying to grab me in such a way it forced his legs to cross with the next stride and he tripped over his own feet, took two awkward stumbles and ate shit on the asphalt parking lot, landing on his right shoulder before tumbling over himself and into the ice machine. “Dude you just ate shit!” I said to him pointing and laughing. “You’re probably used to it though when you eat your boyfriend’s ass every night.” “You fucking goddamn…” He said as he got to one knee. “Oh no, don’t propose to me, I’m already in a committed relationship…with your mom.” I replied. He finally got to his feet and despite it being only 50 feet that he ran, he was already wheezing. He reached to his right pocket and pulled out a small pocket knife, maybe 3 inches long only but long enough to do some serious damage, then charged at me again. I ran to the rear of my car and put the car between me and him, he tried to slash at me across the trunk but I easily dodged it as he came up feet short. He started chasing me again and I ran to the front of my car and as he ran up to me again, I ran to the rear of my car like a toddler playing “you can’t catch me”. I started laughing at this thought and each time he ran a pass at me I said that to him. “You can’t catch me big fella! You can’t catch me!” I didn’t have to put forth too much effort but I could tell it was taking its toll on him. He had the stubbornness of a retarded mule and refused to give up to save some sense of pride and honor. We played this game for maybe five complete laps around my car before he realized he had no chance of getting to me. He paused for a moment to decide what to do next to save face and not look like such a fat bitch then it donned on him. “You little fuck.” The sweat was pouring down his forehead. “You got a spare tire in the trunk of this shitbox rice burning beanermobile?” He said and eye’d up my right front tire and pulled his arm back. There wasn’t much I could do so as he began to lunge his arm forward to puncture my tire, I let out the loudest and highest pitch rape scream I could make. It was an ear piercing banshee scream and it must have startled him because he missed the tire and hit the fender causing his sweaty hand to slip from the grip and violently slide down the grip and onto the blade of his knife cutting a large gash in his fingers and palm. “FUCKKKKK!” he screamed, still clutching the knife. The Indian clerk that owned and operated the store must have been alerted by my banshee scream and came rushing out the door. “What going on here!?” he yelled, looking concerned and confused. He saw I was standing there and recognized me immediately. I had to be one of the biggest spenders at the store, buying at least a pack of smokes a day and two energy drinks like clockwork and very often getting food for lunch and always paid cash which they loved. They liked me and knew me as well as you’d know a frequent customer. He saw the fat fella was holding a knife but also bleeding. “He chased me and tried to slash my tire.” I said and the clerk nodded and believed me. “That’s not a parking spot!” the big fella said. “He park there every day, never cause any problem. You buddy, you not welcome here. Go now, leave or I call the police!” The big fella glared at me holding his bleeding palm with his other hand now to apply pressure. I didn’t say a word, I just grinned at the big fella and he turned around and went back to his truck, got in and drove off, peeling out with one wheel as he left. I went inside and the clerk apologized to me for the behavior of the big fella even though it wasn’t his fault obviously. I assured him it wasn’t an issue and got my normal supplies and left. I got in my car and hit the vape(I won’t smoke in the car), started the engine and put on some Tool. My adrenaline was still high so I took a deep breath, hit the vape again, and started the engine then pulled out of my personal parking spot. I pulled out onto the road, looking both ways first but not paying attention to the vehicle far down the road and started my short drive home. It was one complete Tool song for the round trip if I drove like a sane person and I causally accelerated. I hadn’t made it a mile before I noticed a F-250 in my rear view mirror growing in size rapidly. It was the big fella and he was going to run me down in a way that wouldn’t exhaust or embarrass him. “Oh fuck” I said and took another vape hit then downshifted into 3rd gear and put the pedal to the floor. The Miata’s engine woke from its slumber and quickly ran the RPM’s up to 6000, putting me back in my seat the entire time. I shifted into 4th and floored it again. The road was awful and full of potholes but the sporty nimbleness of the Miata made avoiding the major potholes and bumps a fun exercise in technical driving. The big fella had a huge run up on me however and was still closing the distance on me even though I was speeding along at close to 90 miles per hour. Either he was an idiot or didn’t know the roads or likely both but as I glanced in the rearview mirror I could see the truck take hit after hit from the potholes. It lurched and bounced each time but the venerable American truck took each hit in stride and held its ground with me. I was doing 105 MPH now on a shitty backcountry road in a 45MPH zone and the F-250’s speed limiter likely kicked in at that speed so I maintained 105 as we approached the curves. I was nervous because I had only one option and that was to navigate a downhill S-turn meant for 35MPH at 105MPH while avoiding potholes that would tear off one of my tires. If I slowed down any, this maniac behind me could plow into me or give me the Pitt Maneuver and spin me out which would inevitably lead to a rollover where I definitely would die. “Fuck it” I said, grabbed another gear and started pulling away from the F-250. There was another option that just came to me ¼ mile from the S-turn and immediately opted for it. Despite the pain of sacrificing it, I lobbed a full 16oz can of white Monster out of the top of my car like a hand grenade. It crashed into the truck’s grill and penetrated through the grill and into the radiator like an armor piercing anti-tank cannon shell. A plume of steam erupted from the truck and I let off the throttle only to see him start gaining ground. I put it to the floor again and clenched my asshole as I was seconds away from barreling down upon the S-turn. I could see far enough ahead that there was no oncoming traffic so I steered as far left as I could to get the best angle entering the turn. The car’s lane detection warning system beeped at me and I told it to fuck off, I was racing for my life here. I tracked into the turn, apexed in the corner and tracked back out into the next turn. I felt myself get lighter when I entered the turn because it was downhill but the Miata stayed true and glued to the road like a Formula 1 car. In the first part of the S-turn, I had to keep the center line in the center of my car because of the massive canyons in the asphalt on the right tire track that Penn Dot hadn’t addressed in several years. There were more potholes but they were minor and at this speed the car glided over them. I had made it halfway through the S-turn and now steered left again and apexed perfectly in the outward curve and accelerated out of it. The next stretch had mild curves that I wasn’t worried about and I got back in my proper lane, now about to check my mirror to see what the big fella’s fate was. I heard the tires squeal as he tried to slow down to make the first curve of the S-turn. He knew nothing of racing despite having decals on his back window of some local hayseed race car driver. When he braked in the middle of the turn, all the weight shifted forward and he lost all rear grip. Combining that with trying to steer right, caused the rear end of the truck to slide out from behind him and he spun 90 degrees. The left front tire caught the canyon pothole and sent the truck into a barrel roll down the hill. I watched it all in my mirror and I slammed on my breaks. The truck barrel rolled at least a half dozen times before hitting the left side guard rail and bounced into the middle of the road. Steam was billowing from the front of the truck and I could see all the airbags had deployed. I pulled the e-brake, did a half turn to slow down and stop, smoke seethed from my tires and when the car came to a halt in the middle of the road, I put on my 4-ways. I then heard a woman yell to me from the nearby house. “Oh my god!” She yelled. “Are you okay!” She saw the smoke and must have thought there was a fire or something coming from my car. “Yeah I’m fine, but that fella probably isn’t” I said motioning to the heap of metal that used to be a F-250. “I saw the whole thing! I was getting my mail when I heard an engine revving”, the woman said, “Why were you going so fast!? Racing?” She was accusatory and slightly distressed or even angry. I turned my head away from the wreck and looked at her. She was in her late 20s, blonde hair, large and possibly fake breasts, blue eyes and wearing the cutest and most sensual peach colored sundress. If she had makeup on it was minor at most and her face held the natural beauty of an entire Miss Universe contest. “I was racing for my life. The guy is a lunatic, he tried to stab me at the gas station then started chasing me. I knew he couldn’t handle that turn but I knew my car could. Looks like I was right.” I said to her. She looked at me seemingly satisfied with my response but asked, “Why did he try to stab you?” “Because I called him gay.” She laughed and smiled thinking I was joking and was about to say something else when we both heard the big fella yell for help. “We prob should check on him” I said and took a deep hit from my vape exhaling more white vapor than was coming from the wrecked truck. A car pulled up and the driver asked if anyone called 911, I said no and he started dialing. “I’m Michelle”, she said and extended her left hand to me to help me out of the car. She presented her left hand palm down so I could clearly see that she didn’t have a wedding ring. I took her hand and got out of the car then released her hand. It was just a short moment but it lasted for decades. I felt an electricity in her touch, the softness of her skin but the strength and firmness of an unyielding woman who was not unsure of herself. She was breeding stock and with each step she took, her breasts bounced slightly and jiggled revealing that they were indeed real and without a doubt perfect. “I’ve never seen anyone drive that fast through that turn before.” she continued. There’s at least a dozen wrecks here a year from people doing the speed limit and you were going how fast?” “105” I replied. “Maybe 110 when I finally hit the brakes.” “You’re insane.” She said and smiled, then adjusted her sundress, undoing one of her buttons revealing a little bit more cleavage. Her nipples were perky and nearly penetrated the fabric. “Its hot this morning…What kind of car is that? It looks German.” “It’s a Miata. Its basically a super car. It has 180hp but don’t let that fool you, the car only weighs a little more than 2200 pounds. Okay, so you've got to understand why the Mazda Miata is such a big deal—it's not just a car; it's a whole vibe! Picture this: It's super lightweight, right? That makes it incredibly fun to drive; it’s like it's practically gliding along the road. And it's got this perfectly balanced rear-wheel drive, so it handles like a dream, especially on curves. Seriously, it's like dancing... but with a car!” I paused for a few moments to catch my breath then added “Plus, it’s affordable, which is crazy considering how sporty it is. It’s like the everyman’s sports car. You can actually own a roadster without breaking the bank!” “Oh well, that’s nice I guess.” She said and continued, “I have to go now actually, I need to…like do some…chores…I mean get ready for work. Bye.” She buttoned up her sundress then ran off back to her driveway. “Are you a fucking idiot?” I heard the big fella yell. I watched as Michelle sprinted up her driveway, not looking back once even though sirens were blaring and the firetrucks and ambulances had arrived. “You had her melting in your hand and you sperged out like a retard about your car? What the hell is wrong with you? I don’t even want to kick your ass anymore, that was the worst thing I’ve ever seen.”

Tapas Part 3 - Bliss Upon Bliss

Recap
Part 1 covered the concept of tapas, or spiritual austerities, and how you can use tapas to magnify and enhance the sexual energy created through semen retention into tejas, an "inner radiance, fearlessness, majesty, and authority".
It also covered the concept of syntropy, which is how a system is able to conserve, increase and synchronize energy within itself, which is the reason why you get so many benefits from semen retention. Yoga, meditation and tapas all increase syntropy as well.
You can find Part 1 here.
Part 2 detailed how to use tapas to overcome craving, both for the urge to masturbate and for all cravings in general. It detailed some of the science behind why yoga and breathing exercises are just about the most syntropic things you could ever possibly do, by regulating both the endocrine and nervous systems, and activating and clearing out your energy body, called the pranamaya kosha in yoga. Then I introduced some new yogic techniques to introduce more prana and tejas into the system.
You can find Part 2 here.
In this post, we will cover :

• A quick section on "limbic friction";
• How to make good use of the power of resolves, or "strong determinations", in order to boost confidence in yourself, to become the one person you can always count on, and to strategically release dopamine and testosterone in order to rewire your brain to be oriented towards resilience and success;
• Why proper meditation is even more syntropic than the postures and breathing exercises of yoga;
• The process by which meditation purifies the nervous system/mind/consciousness;
• How deep states of meditation, known as jhanas, create the highest level of syntropy within the body-mind system, as well as unbelievable amounts of bliss;
• The relationship between the energy gained from semen retention, the bliss and syntropy of jhana, and how the two relate to tantric sex.

Part 4 will cover :

• How tapas trains circuits within a primitive part of the brain, which, when strengthened, allow you to have built-in, automatic discipline;
• The importance of disciplining oneself with ethics, how it benefits your semen retention practice, and how it is both foundational to success in meditation, as well as a powerful form of tapas;
• A type of meditation on fire itself that quickly builds powerful levels of concentration and can even lead to some trippy experiences. And of course, it greatly increases syntropy and tejas.

Giddy up!

Limbic Friction

Tapas will take your semen retention practice, as well as the rest of your life, to entirely new heights. Tapas involves overcoming limbic friction - the uncomfortable feeling your nervous system creates to try to convince you to stay in your hazy comfort zone, to avoid doing the difficult things.
You know, the things that will allow you to grow.
Limbic friction will also pop up when you try to not indulge in the thing you’re craving.
Limbic friction just keeps you trapped in your tidy little box of comfort. While it may be comfortable and familiar, no real growth can occur inside this box.
Everything you’ve ever dreamed of is on the other side of fear and discomfort.
"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are difficult." - Seneca
The goal of tapas is to simply feel that limbic friction, to fully accept it, and then proceed ahead anyway. That’s it.

Gain Confidence and Boost Testosterone with Resolves

While we’re on the topic of pushing ourselves, let’s discuss the power of making resolves. In the 3rd post of the series on overcoming craving, Becoming a King with Equanimity, we discussed how they make great use of “strong determination sits” in Goenka-style meditation retreats.
This simply means that when you sit for meditation, you make a vow to sit perfectly still for the entire hour of your meditation session - you can’t move your hands, your feet, or open your eyes once the sit begins.
Not only does this up the level of discomfort, forcing you to either develop equanimity or die trying, it also increases your confidence in yourself. You say you’re going to do something tough and you prove to yourself that you can do it.
Strong determination sitting is a powerful practice, but the real point is making a resolve to do something difficult and then sticking to it no matter what.
This practice is called adhitthana, and it is one of the Ten Perfections of Theravadan Buddhism that a person aspiring to awaken must master in order to bring about awakening.
For a beginner meditator, the resolve should be only be to sit every day, with out fail - even if it's just ten minutes.
It’s easy to see why this practice goes hand in hand with tapas. Let's say you are a beginner meditator, and you make a resolve or "strong determination" to sit every single day, for at least ten minutes. For someone who has never meditated, that's actually a pretty tough thing to stick to.
But then, one fine spring Friday afternoon, you meet up with your buddy and grab a couple of beers (or insert whatever your temptation is). You get home and look at your meditation cushion and even ten minutes seems like too much.
This is your mind being a little bitch!
But you're a retainer practicing tapas, and having made this strong determination to sit for ten minutes every night means there is no backing out. To back out is to admit defeat, to let yourself down, and to prove to yourself how unreliable you are.
Barring utter catastrophe, you will do your evening ten minute sit.
So you sit, and even though the meditation drags on and on because you’ve had a couple, you make it through and viola - a big check is deposited in your “confidence and dependability” account.
Making resolutions and sticking to them is a powerful method to make progress fast, not just with your semen retention/yoga/meditation practice, but in life in general.
In a world of uncertainty, when people seem to get more and more flaky and unreliable, be the one person who you can always depend on.
It’s a promise you must keep in order for it to pay off, otherwise you’re just reinforcing the habit that it's ok for your mind to take the easy way out.
Start with small resolutions, resolutions you know you can hold yourself to. You want to set up a positive feedback loop of winning. These successive small wins lead to more wins, as each win increases dopamine and testosterone - a phenomena known as The Winner Effect.

Scientists have found that when we win something, regardless of how small, the brain releases dopamine and testosterone, chemicals associated with confidence, attention, and mood. Interestingly, studies have shown that the brain can rewire itself for success over time.

It's a match against yourself - who will win? Your old lazy self, or the new and improved self?
Strong Determinations in Practice
Once you’ve proven to yourself you can rely on yourself, slowly start upping the ante. Don't try to jump immediately from a slovenly wimp to the Olympic-level athlete of austerities or meditation, because you’ll simply fail - and that's proving to yourself you aren't dependable.
And remember, you can make resolutions with anything, not just yoga and meditation:

• Resolve to not look at your phone for the next hour;
• Or to not get on Reddit at all tomorrow;
• Or to take weekends off of Discord;
• Or resolve to clean your entire room, top to bottom, in one stretch.

Or how about actually starting your workout routine and sticking to it? Or resolve to give up whatever your crutch is, and actually follow through this time? The smart man would be sure to build up with some smaller wins before you try to drop your big crutch.
The goal is simply to stick to your resolutions!
Start off making them small and manageable.
Each time you stick to your resolution will be a win, dopamine and testosterone will be released, and overtime this will rewire your brain towards badassery. Your confidence and strength will grow and grow. Only when there is no more limbic friction from the original resolution do you add another or increase the intensity of the original resolution.
Prove to yourself that you are dependable and watch your confidence skyrocket. I've included a video at the end of this post talking about the benefits of strong determination and resolves as they relate to meditation, but remember - these resolves can benefit you in regards to any behavior.
The late and great Anthony Bourdain

Meditation for Tejas

As we covered in Part 2, yoga, with its postures, breathing exercises, and energetic locks and seals, is easily the fastest and almost the most effective manner of increasing tejas.
What about meditation? Well, let's all be honest, for most beginners, meditation is a bitch. It's difficult to sit down, stop the constant doing, disengage from all that thinking in your mind and focus on one object to the exclusion of all others.
But once you're good at meditating, it is perhaps the most syntropic thing you can possibly do. Stilling the mind is the epitome of conserving energy - your body isn't moving and now, even your mind has reached stillness.
And once you get really good at meditation, a positive feedback loop occurs in the mind, magnifying energy in the body-mind system many times over - so much so that it starts producing an intense bodily bliss and mental happiness, respectively called piti and sukha.
When piti (rapture) and sukha (joy, mental bliss) start arising, you can be sure that you're on the precipice of what is known as jhanas in Buddhism, and dhyana/samadhi in yoga. These are meditative absorptions that are extremely purifying and endlessly praised by the Buddha, not only as one of the proper ways to meditate, but as the one and only type of pleasure to actively seek out.
And believe it or not, the pleasure of jhana can exceed even the pleasure of sex, and can last much, much longer.
You know how people with anxiety get stuck in a loop of rumination that just magnifies their anxiety? Jhanas are the opposite of this anxiety loop.

"Anxiety can capture attention, which can lead to more anxiety, which can capture more attention, and so on, leading to a physiological response (e.g. heart rate changes, sweating, in the extreme case a panic attack). Jhana meditators create a similar positive feedback loop between attention and pleasure." Jhourney - These are guys who led the metta retreat where I was first able to achieve jhanas

Once you can get to this level in your sits, then some real juice is added to your meditation, and tejas will start overflowing.
Thy cup will runneth over, as they say.
And as we'll see in an eventual post in the Craving Series, once you get to the point of reliably reaching jhanas, you can say bye bye to pretty much any and all cravings. Why? Because why would you want to masturbate, getting only 5-10 minutes of pleasure, when you can sit down and hang out in a much more pleasurable jhana for 20 minutes to 2 hours?
And that pleasure, ease and joy follows you around the rest of the day, coloring everything you do. It's difficult to crave when you're already deeply satisfied.

Purificatory Fire of Meditation

But that leaves us with the problem of getting good enough at meditation to achieve those states of bliss, and now that I've mentioned how amazing some of these higher states of meditation can be, I may have inadvertently caused you to crave them.
And you cannot reach jhana from a place of craving. In fact, jhanas are all about letting go. More on that in the Craving Series.
However, worry not! Just beginning on the path of meditation starts working wonders for the purificatory process, no matter how "bad" you may be at it.
Recall how in Tapas Pt 2, I mentioned how effective yoga asanas and pranayama are at cleaning out the gunk and detritus from the nervous system/mind/energy body?
Meditation does the exact same thing, even if you think you're doing it poorly.
So, as a beginner or someone who thinks they "can't meditate", understand that each time you sit down and do metta, or focus on the breath, or do vipassana, or recite a mantra, or whatever, even if you think you aren't meditating well, as long as you know your technique is proper, you're doing great, and it's having quite the purifying effect on the brain/mind/nervous system.
Recall in the previous post how I mentioned that once the gunk is cleared from the system, that it is like living life as a child again? Perceptions become crisp and clear, wonder and joy are always right around the corner, and things become "feather light and paper thin" - meaning things feel less solid, and more vibrant, vibratory, alive.

“If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro' narrow chinks of his cavern.” - William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

Here are a few key quotes from one of my favorite books on meditation, The Science of Enlightenment : How Meditation Works by Shinzen Young. I highly recommend this book, especially for science-oriented types. The "fixating forces" he mentions in the following quote are our deeply ingrained habit patterns of chasing after the pleasant and running from the unpleasant (tanha, craving) and the word kleshas refers to the three defilements#Three_poisons) of craving, aversion and ignorance.

"So if, as many believe, we really are imbedded in spiritual reality, why don't we see it? Why isn't every vision beatific? It's because of fixating forces deep down in the subconscious. And our job, according to a plethora of self-help paradigms, is to become free from these forces.
"In the Buddhist, Hindu, and Abrahamic contemplative traditions, the process of becoming free of those limiting forces is sometimes referred to as purification (vishuddhi in Sanskrit; catharsis in Greek). Purification could be described as the process that breaks this material up, digests it, metabolizes it, and (pardon the metaphor) excretes it. Purification is what it 'tastes like' as we are getting free from those limiting grooves. It's a sort of immediate reward. You sense that the limitations of the past are being metabolized and a bright future is being created because of the way you're experiencing a certain something in the present. Once you learn the taste of purification, your growth goes exponential. The ability to taste purification is the sign of a mature spiritual palate.
"From a Buddhist perspective, that old material gets worked through by pouring clarity (mindfulness) and equanimity into the experience of the moment. That clarity and equanimity percolate down into the subconscious and give the subconscious what it needs to resolve/dissolve its issues."
"Through meditation, we smelt away the kleshas (craving, aversion, ignorance). We refine the ore, and we are left with what always was - the pure gold of consciousness."

So three important notes to end on

1. If you're new to meditation, or even if you've had a practice, realize that there are no bad sits! If your mind wanders 100 times in 10 minutes of meditating, and you brought your mind back to its object 101 times, that means you've done 101 "reps". That is a successful sit!
2. Do not crave results! Just focus on the right inputs, and eventually the right outputs appear on their own. The right inputs here being that you sit consistently and with proper technique, in a relaxed and un-expectant manner. Focus on the inputs, the results will come.
3. That sense of struggle that you must overcome to sit on the cushion, plus the subtle (or not so subtle) struggle while you're actually meditating is the taste of purification! That feeling is the feeling of tapas itself! You may not enjoy the feeling (yet), but you can at least know that you're engaging with powerful, purificatory tapas each and every time you sit. Even more so if you start using resolves.

That feeling of resistance is none other than our friend limbic friction. When you feel that limbic friction pop up, and then you do the thing anyway, remember - that's gunk being burned out of the system!

Jhanas, Orgasms, and Tantric Sex

Now, there will be an upcoming post in the Craving Series that will be a deep dive on the style of meditation that produces this bliss and happiness.
If you guys are interested, I made a recent post on metta meditation, which is arguably the easiest way to get into these states. While I think the whole thing is worth reading, feel free to skip to the end for instructions. This was the style of meditation that finally allowed me to begin accessing these states of absorption and bliss, after 13 years of trying to do so.
On the other hand, feel free to skip my post entirely and head straight to one of the links I've included at the end of this post for guided metta meditations.
Metta is a fantastic method for jhana because the feeling of loving-kindness itself is inherently pleasant. Because it is pleasant, your mind will focus easily upon it; because your mind focuses easily upon the pleasant sensation, the pleasantness grows; the mind is able to concentrate more easily upon this increased pleasantness, which then causes the pleasantness to grow even more, on and on and on, until bodily bliss (piti) and mental joy (sukha) start arising and you're blasted into the first jhana.
The Joy of Jhana
What does "being blasted in the first jhana by bodily bliss and mental joy" feel like?
Well, the best way to describe jhana is somewhere between an extended orgasm and being on the love drug MDMA/ecstasy.
"Hold up - that sounds like it would be debilitating to all this energy we've been cultivating... Surely there will be devastating consequences to our semen retention practice, right?"
Orgasms drain you of energy, not just due to the release of prolactin which lowers dopamine and testosterone, but also because of the effect on your nervous system. As you get more and more sexually aroused, energy builds up in your nervous system. Once your nervous system can no longer handle the energy and stimulation, you orgasm, at which point prolactin is dumped into the body and the nervous system starts shaking off all the energy that has accumulated inside.
Toes curl in, eyes roll into the back of the head, and your nerves fire like off like its the Fourth of July, right? You get hormonal dampening, and a good portion of the energy you've been building up and conserving through semen retention, wise use of energy, tapas, yoga, pranayama and meditation gets literally shivered away and shook off.
Jhanas, on the other hand, allow for a very slow build up of energy within the nervous system, (one that doesn't involve your Johnson), but instead of that build up resulting in a big explosion of energy that the nervous system shakes off, it is all contained within and sustained for long periods of time!
This pleasure, which is simply a build up of energy, is extremely purifying to the entire system.
And when the jhana is over, you're left feeling invigorated and refreshed, not drained and depleted, because your nervous system remains supercharged with energy and bliss. Not only will you be radiating good vibes everywhere, but you will be supercharged with our friend tejas, that "inner radiance, fearlessness, majesty, and authority".
The Tantric Sex Connection
This is also one reason why tantric sex is such a powerful adjunct to semen retention. In tantric sex, you build up energy within the nervous system and don't release it - but in this case, the energy comes from sex, not from meditation.
And all of this is even more reason to have a strong yoga practice, because it is only through yoga (or qi gong/tai chi) that you begin to slowly build up prana within yourself, training your nervous system and pranamaya kosha to be able to handle higher and higher amounts of energy.
Through yoga, you also purify the channels, called nadis, through which this energy flows, as well as the chakras, the "power transformers" of the energy body.
If these aren't purfied and opened up, the energy will remain stuck and unable to participate in the feedback loop of jhana, nor of tantric sex. This is a major reason why guys are unable to make it very long with retention - their bodies can't handle the build up of sexual energy, so it seeks release and homestasis the only way it knows how - through orgasm.
Again, I refer you to Can You Handle the Power? if you'd like to read more about the concept of being able to handle more and more energy.
Better yet, skip the reading and get to practicing.

Resources

A quick note on guided metta meditations - you kind of have to shop around to find one you really enjoy. There are many different ways of doing metta, and when you multiply that by the way some teachers sound, whether there is music or not, and the quality of recording, well... Some are hits, some are huge misses.
My recommendation is to find one you like and either stick to it, or better yet, simply do the meditation yourself.
A 30 Day guest pass to the Waking Up app - Amazing resource with 3 different metta modules under the "Practice" tab - Compassionate Awareness is one module, Metta (loving-kindness) is another, and Metta for Everyone.
Shinzen Young on Strong Determination Sits
18 Minute Metta Meditation with Samaneri Jayasara - My favorite of the guided meditations here. She is a fantastic resource, and she has plenty of readings and guided meditations on her Youtube.
35 Minute Metta Meditation with Jayasara - I did not check this video out, so if it isn't great, well..
23 Minute Tonglen Meditation by Tara Brach - Tonglen comes to us from the Tibetan Buddhists, and combines metta with compassion.
14 Minute Guided Metta Meditation with Ayya Khema - This one is interesting.
Rob Burbea Metta Retreat - These are the recordings of a metta meditation retreat led by Rob Burbea, a phenomenal teacher. These include some theory and are all longer sits though - great for strong determination sits!
A great 3 month course for the seriously-inclined beginner meditator, with a section on metta.
A great interview with the guy I learned jhanas from, describing their benefits.

My experience with my Resource Teacher (RT) as a Student Teacher is very emotional distressing. Resource Teacher are our mentors during our OJT days. I was assigned in Grade 10 and mataas ang sections ung hawak namin ng teacher ko. First sem, it was really good. Napakabait ng RT ko sakin, she was understanding with my personal life and nakakapagchika pa kami minsan sa breaktime namin or after class. Kaya napagmamalaki ko ung RT ko sa mga peers ko non na mabait and maluwag sya sakin. I have done my works din sa kanya naman and she applauded me for that. Everything is great until nung nagsecond sem.
Second semester, I began teaching. Although it was out of my comfort zone and my fear na magturo (in the first place, diko talaga gusto mageduc, napilitan lang), gora pa din. She gave me feedbacks and I wholeheartedly accepted it all. Sinasabi nya super bait ko daw sa students na nawawalan na ako ng authority, or masyado daw akong giddy ganon. She was my mentor so I must accept her constructive criticisms.
But my teaching demonstration is getting nearer. Good thing I planned what I wanted to do sa demo two months ago pa. When I presented my lesson plan to my RT sabi nya "Gusto ko makita kung pano mo sya ituturo". So I did, and I was a bit nervous but still confident because my plan was very me. It was creative and very student-centered. I wanted to show to my professors how I improved. I incorporated Harry Potter House Cup into one of my motivational activities and Genshin characters into my PPTs. Creativity was my strength after all.
Nung ituturo ko na sya sa harap ng class na gagamitin ko for my demo, sinasabi ko pa lang ung review ko, bigla sya nagsabi na mali ung ginagawa ko. "Bat ganyan review mo, ang boring nyan, magtataas lang sila ng kamay?" Nagisip kaagad ako ng pampalit sa gagawin ko pero nagsasalita pa din sya how wrong my review was. So pinacontinue na ako. Nung nasa lesson proper na, sabi nya "amboring ng lesson mo, amboring ng pagtuturo mo. Inaantok ako" and I can feel the shame that time. My students were clearly enjoying the part na may Harry Potter akong inilagay sa motivation nila pero sabi pa ng RT ko, "ano yan? Pano yan gagawin? Ano purpose nyan ha? Diko nakikita connection nyan sa lesson". Napatigil din mga students ko non and were confused. Di ko pa nagagawa ung activity ko non dahil nagiinterrupt sya eh. My Genshin-inspired PPT was disapproved by her because she says that it's unprofessional to put cartoons since di nya nakikita ung connection sa lesson. But she literally told me before I have to make up a strategy for my students to get their attention to my lesson, therefore I thought about incorporating Genshin to my PPT. Haven't explained that to her but sinunod ko na lang sya. She was criticizing every detail of my practice na nasayang ungg oras namin dahil don. Me and my class didn't see the flow of my demo noon and I was so embarrassed and ashamed dahil ilang beses nya akong pinahiya sa harap ng klase ko. Her tone was mocking and sarcastic that time. "Nkasalalay dito ung kung pano ako makikita ng mga observers din sa pagguide sayo. Makikita nila ampanget ng turo mo. Ikaw lang ang di magaling dito, ung mga students natin magagaling yan." My tears were welling up on me pero I tried to be composed non (though I knew nakikita ng mga students ko na maiiyak na ako). Nung kinausap na ako ng RT ko, tumulo nang lahat ung luha ko. Nakakahiya na umiyak ako sa harap nya and sana diko ginawa yon pala. Sinasabi ko sa kanya puro sorry but I was mostly crying because I felt betrayed by her. Na ginawa nya un sakin, akala ko di sya ganung tao na namamahiya. I was also confused as to why she does that if she was praising how important professionalism and ethics is in this teaching world. Alam kong pinagaralan namin un before our OJT na di ka pede mangcriticize ng Student Teacher sa harap ng klase mo, mas better na pag sa end ng klase. Nung habang umiiyak ako non sabi nya "ganyan din ako dati iyakin din. Chinachallenge kita kasi alam kong kaya mo din gawin yun." I was warming up na ulit non dahil sa sinabi nya kasi may halong motivational words din pero sinabi nya bigla sa dulo na "nako may napaiyak na naman akong student teacher HAHAHA maldita kasi talaga ako" and hanggang sa umalis sya saglit sa room namin tuwang tuwa sya na napaiyak nya ako. Syempre sinasakyan ko na lang pero nung umalis sya, that scenario plays in my mind pa din. The shame, it was my first time feeling that. Tas narinig ko din sa mga peers ko na chinichika na din nya sa mga teachers nya ung umiyak ako non. But I thought baka ngayon lang to. Turns out I'm wrong na ngayon lang to.
There are still a lot of moments with my RT that is very emotionally distressing and very problematic which I'll share in the part 2. I wanted to share this for awareness of what the other side of teaching world is like. It is indeed cruel and I don't like it but it's reality. Learned that hard lesson myself.

PIMO here. Tony Morris once said in a broadcasting talk: "We won't need lawyers or doctors after armageddon. We will need plumbers, electricians...".
Even though I was PIMI when that broadcasting was released I still saw a great fallacy in his reasoning. First of all, he was talking about the event that was supposed to take 1000 years with minds continuously closer to perfection. Considering this, how does our present occupation even matter? If I'm a plumber today, I'm expected to what - be only a plumber for next 1000 years? No change? Nothing else? And if I'm not a plumber today, how long would it take me to learn such skills in "new system"? Couple of months? A mere blip in a 1000-year existence! Also, they always kept mentioning - come to bethel, even if you have no skills, you can learn anything here in no time. So, learning new skills wasn't an issue for them? And finally, choosing a career path should be a personal decision. Period.
This is very personal for me. When I was younger, I served as a pioneer and wanted to go to university because I had very good grades in high school and I enjoyed learning. But the BOE discouraged me. I remember during that time we had a CO visit and during ministry he counseled me against enrolling. I thanked him for such a spiritual advice but later asked about his education. He was vague, so I asked more directly if he had a degree. Then he admitted to having a university degree but called it a waste of time. What a hypocrisy!
Nevertheless, I continued pioneering, never went to any university, and ended up without a proper career, working various jobs which I hated at shops, factories, and call centers to make ends meet while pioneering. But out of curiosity I asked every single CO that I met what education they had and guess what? It turned out that out of ten COs only one didn't have higher education. Yet, I'm sure all of them pressured young people to abandon their dreams.
I'm 30 now and I recently enrolled to finally get a degree in Computer Science.
Disclaimer: I don't mean to diminish the value of any occupation. IMO all jobs from plumber to electrician to lawyer etc. deserves equal respect whether they require a higher education or not.

DAY: DAY: MAY 11, 2024

• 5-11-2024WHY DANCING IN SYNC BRINGS US CLOSER TOGETHER Silent discos started back in the 1970s as a convenient way to get around noise restrictions. In those days that meant everyone bringing their own music loaded onto a Walkman. Later, DJs would set up their own radio channels to allow everyone to listen to the same playlist. These events gained popularity in the early 2000s, when music festivals began to host silent gigs with lots of artists streaming on different channels. At a regular disco or nightclub, everybody experiences dancing together in time to the same music.
• 5-11-2024HOW DO EMOTIONS HELP CONSTRUCT OUR CULTURAL IDENTITY IN MUSIC FESTIVALS? 2022 was a record year for music festivals in Spain, hitting historic highs just two years after the entire country was locked down due to the pandemic. Spain boasts close to a thousand music festivals and a live music industry that earned 459 million euros in ticket revenue alone in 2022. This is almost 200% more than the previous year,
• 5-11-2024WHY DO METAPHORS OF SPACE HELP US UNDERSTAND TIME? Space-time projections, ego-moving perspective. Expressions linking space to time are a common part of our day to day lives. You might say the morning “flew by,” or that school exams are “fast approaching.” Right now, you might say summer is “just around the corner,” while anyone with the vaguest awareness of Game of Thrones will have heard the phrase “winter is coming.”
• 5-11-2024THERE ARE NO GOOD OR BAD OIL CROPS, ONLY GOOD AND BAD PRACTICES There are no good or bad oil crops. Credit: Borneo Futures When shopping, have you considered the social and environmental impacts of your vegetable oil purchases? Most products offer limited information on these effects. Labels like “No Palm Oil”—linked to environmental damage and threats to orangutans—or “Fair-trade” are familiar, but many ingredients go unmentioned. How reliable are these claims, and what unseen impacts are we responsible for with our choices?
• 5-11-2024ART-BASED APPROACHES CAN ENCOURAGE FRESH PERSPECTIVES ON THE FUTURE Art can contribute to futures thinking in various ways, such as inspiring alternative futures through mediums like science fiction in films and literature, encapsulating future scenarios through artistic illustrations, and posing thought-provoking questions that challenge our perceptions and understanding of the future. As a multidisciplinary field, futures research borrows approaches from different disciplines. However, it often ignores the potential of the arts on a large scale, even though the arts embrace creativity and often depict and narrate imagined futures.
• 5-11-2024‘DOING YOUR OWN RESEARCH’ CAN MAKE FAKE NEWS SEEM BELIEVABLE While it’s healthy to question what we see and hear in the media, those quick internet searches to fact-check news stories can unexpectedly backfire and lead people to believe false stories, according to the director of the University of Oregon’s undergraduate journalism program. As more people tune into the press for the upcoming election cycle
• 5-11-2024CONTRADICTORY THOUGHTS LEAD TO MORE MODERATE ATTITUDES, PSYCHOLOGISTS FIND Researchers present rhetorical tools that can help to reduce the polarization of discussions. When discussing controversial issues such as migration or measures against global warming, strongly opposing positions often clash and discussions become emotional. The polarization that can be found here is primarily driven by people with extreme attitudes.
• 5-11-2024CAN SCIENCE EXPLAIN WHY COUPLES BREAK UP? THE MATHEMATICAL ANATOMY OF A FALL French director Justine Triet’s “Anatomy of a Fall,” winner of the 2023 Oscar for best original script, reconstructs a fatal fall in order to dissect the collapse of the romantic relationship between the film’s leading couple, Sandra Voyter and Samuel Maleski. Far from an exception, breakups of the sort depicted in the film are commonplace: global data shows high levels of marriage failure, with a marked increase towards the end of the last century.
• 5-11-2024WHEN CHOOSING CO-FOUNDERS, ENTREPRENEURS HAVE A GENDER GAP One of the most important decisions an entrepreneur can make when launching a business is choosing the right co-founder. Should compatible personalities guide the choice? Or should the priority be someone who brings resources to the startup? How do entrepreneurs make this decision if they must choose between these two options? New research from Texas McCombs finds there’s a gender gap in making this choice.
• 5-11-2024COMPASSION DOESN’T HELP ALL COUPLES, FINDS STUDY More compassion = a better relationship. This is an obvious rule of thumb for couples. But it doesn’t apply to everyone, as a study shows. Some people prefer to do without it. Whether irrevocably estranged or merely bored with the daily routine: “Couples counseling can improve communication and the quality of the relationship. And it has a positive effect on mental health
• 5-11-2024WOMEN IN RICH COUNTRIES ARE HAVING FEWER KIDS, OR NONE AT ALL. WHAT’S GOING ON? A recent report from the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows US fertility rates dropped 2% in 2023. With the exception of a temporary increase in the fertility rate at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, the US fertility rate has been falling steadily since 1971. Australia exhibits a similar pattern. Fertility has declined since 2007 despite government attempts to invest in a “baby bonus” to encourage women to have more children. Taking a more global perspective, we can see similar patterns across other industrial nations: Japan,
• 5-11-2024RESEARCHERS DEVELOP NEW AI TOOL FOR FAST AND PRECISE TISSUE ANALYSIS TO SUPPORT DRUG DISCOVERY AND DIAGNOSTICS A team of scientists from A*STAR’s Genome Institute of Singapore (GIS) and Bioinformatics Institute (BII) has developed a new AI software tool called “BANKSY” that automatically recognizes the cell types present in a tissue, such as muscle cells, nerve cells, and fat cells. Going a step beyond conventional AI tools, which can group cells together into clusters if they contain similar molecules
• 5-11-2024STUDY SHEDS LIGHT ON CANCER CELL ‘TUG-OF-WAR’ Two malignant mixed mullerian tumor explants on collagen network. Both tumor pieces adhered to the collagen network and started pulling on the collagen fibers, which prompted extensive collagen displacements and alignments, alongside cell escape of cells with a dominant stress fiber-based contractility. The sharp and smooth boundary structure of both pieces further indicates a strong tissue surface tension that hinders cell escape for cells with a dominant cortical contractility.
• 5-11-2024STUDY UNDERSCORES NEW STRATEGIES TO FIGHT DRUG-RESISTANT BACTERIA
• 5-11-2024BIG DATA HELPS DETERMINE WHAT DRIVES DISEASE RISK
• 5-11-2024NEW STUDY POINTS TO STOCHASTIC CHANGES IN CELLS
• 5-11-2024CHANGES IN PIG FARMING IN THE 20TH CENTURY SPREAD ANTIBIOTIC-RESISTANT SALMONELLA AROUND THE WORLD, FINDS STUDY
• 5-11-2024HOW CLIMATE CHANGE WILL AFFECT MALARIA TRANSMISSION
• 5-11-2024TEAM DEVELOPS TECHNOLOGY FOR PRODUCING BIOPLASTICS FROM AGRICULTURAL AND FOOD BYPRODUCTS
• 5-11-2024STUDY DISCOVERS CELLULAR ACTIVITY THAT HINTS RECYCLING IS IN OUR DNA
• 5-11-2024WANT TO SHOW TEACHERS APPRECIATION? THIS TOP SCHOOL GIVES THEM MORE FREEDOM
• 5-11-2024HOW LIKELY ARE ENGLISH LEARNERS TO GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL? STUDY SHOWS IT DEPENDS ON RACE, GENDER AND INCOME
• 5-11-2024SELF-CRITICAL PERFECTIONISM GNAWS ON STUDENTS’ WELL-BEING ALREADY IN LOWER SECONDARY SCHOOL, SAYS STUDY
• 5-11-2024STUDY EXPLORES WHETHER PSYCHOLOGICAL CAPITAL WILL HELP WITH WORK ENGAGEMENT IN TOUGH MOMENTS
• 5-11-2024NON-GOVERNMENTAL ORGANIZATIONS RAISE CONCERNS ABOUT CHILD ABUSE REPORTING
• 5-11-2024EXPELLING STUDENTS FOR BAD BEHAVIOR SEEMS LIKE THE OBVIOUS SOLUTION, BUT IS IT REALLY A GOOD IDEA?
• 5-11-2024RESEARCHER ANALYZES 3,356 SIGNS TO SEE HOW LANGUAGE USE IS CHANGING IN THREE LATINO NEIGHBORHOODS IN PHILLY
• 5-11-2024WHO ARE THE IMMIGRANTS COMING TO THE US ON HUMANITARIAN GROUNDS, AND HOW CAN THEY BE SUPPORTED?
• 5-11-2024STUDY SHOWS FEMALE GAMERS ONLY LABEL HALF OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT INCIDENTS THEY EXPERIENCE AS SUCH
• 5-11-2024RISING KNIFE CRIME IN LONDON IS LINKED TO AUSTERITY CUTS TO YOUTH SERVICES—HERE’S THE EVIDENCE
• 5-11-2024USING AI TO PREDICT GRADE POINT AVERAGE FROM COLLEGE APPLICATION ESSAYS
• 5-11-2024DISADVANTAGED ENTREPRENEURS OFTEN FEAR SUCCESS, BUT NEW RESEARCH CAN HELP
• 5-11-2024FEW TENURE-TRACK JOBS FOR ENGINEERING PH.D.S, STUDY FINDS
• 5-11-2024RESEARCHERS SEARCH FOR SOLUTIONS TO CONSTRUCT A COMPREHENSIVE WORKFORCE
• 5-11-2024HOW TO TELL IF A CONSPIRACY THEORY IS PROBABLY FALSE
• 5-11-2024AN ANALYSIS OF SECURITY IN RELATION TO THE VALUES OF WELL-BEING, FREEDOM AND EQUALITY
• 5-11-2024CONSUMERS REPORT SIGNIFICANT RISE IN DIET SATISFACTION SINCE JANUARY
• 5-11-2024THE SPREAD OF MISINFORMATION VARIES BY TOPIC AND BY COUNTRY IN EUROPE, STUDY FINDS
• 5-11-2024I INTERVIEWED MOMS WITH FIVE OR MORE KIDS—WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT WOMEN WHO ARE QUIETLY GOING AGAINST THE GRAIN
• 5-11-2024ANALYSIS OF MILLIONS OF POSTS SHOWS THAT USERS SEEK OUT ECHO CHAMBERS ON SOCIAL MEDIA
• 5-11-2024HONG KONG UNIVERSITY TESTS AI PROFESSORS
• 5-11-2024EXTREME VIEWS ABOUT WOMEN ARE INFILTRATING AUSTRALIAN SCHOOLS—WE NEED A ZERO-TOLERANCE RESPONSE
• 5-11-2024GROWTH MINDSET TEACHING HELPS STUDENTS MAKE THE GRADE
• 5-11-2024WORKER RIGHTS ARE ONE OF THE LEAST PROTECTED HUMAN RIGHTS, NEW RESEARCH REVEALS
• 5-11-2024DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU BELONG AT WORK? HERE’S WHY IT’S SO IMPORTANT FOR YOUR HEALTH, HAPPINESS AND PRODUCTIVITY
• 5-11-2024RESEARCHER EXPOSES CHILD LABOR TRAFFICKING AS A HIDDEN CRIME AFTER INVESTIGATING 132 VICTIMS
• 5-11-2024AI KNOWLEDGE GETS YOUR FOOT IN THE DOOR FOR JOB INTERVIEWS, SAYS STUDY
• 5-11-2024STUDY EXPLORES EFFECTS OF OVERSEAS BUSINESS ACTIVITY THROUGH EXPERIENCES OF EXPATRIATES
• 5-11-2024STUDY IDENTIFIES LARGE INTEREST GAPS IN US LABOR MARKET
• 5-11-2024STUDY SHOWS AI CONVERSATIONAL AGENTS CAN HELP REDUCE INTERETHNIC PREJUDICE DURING ONLINE INTERACTIONS

MAY 11, 2024

• 5-11-2024WHY DANCING IN SYNC BRINGS US CLOSER TOGETHER
• 5-11-2024HOW DO EMOTIONS HELP CONSTRUCT OUR CULTURAL IDENTITY IN MUSIC FESTIVALS?
• 5-11-2024WHY DO METAPHORS OF SPACE HELP US UNDERSTAND TIME?
• 5-11-2024THERE ARE NO GOOD OR BAD OIL CROPS, ONLY GOOD AND BAD PRACTICES
• 5-11-2024ART-BASED APPROACHES CAN ENCOURAGE FRESH PERSPECTIVES ON THE FUTURE
• 5-11-2024‘DOING YOUR OWN RESEARCH’ CAN MAKE FAKE NEWS SEEM BELIEVABLE
• 5-11-2024CONTRADICTORY THOUGHTS LEAD TO MORE MODERATE ATTITUDES, PSYCHOLOGISTS FIND
• 5-11-2024CAN SCIENCE EXPLAIN WHY COUPLES BREAK UP? THE MATHEMATICAL ANATOMY OF A FALL
• 5-11-2024WHEN CHOOSING CO-FOUNDERS, ENTREPRENEURS HAVE A GENDER GAP
• 5-11-2024COMPASSION DOESN’T HELP ALL COUPLES, FINDS STUDY
• 5-11-2024WOMEN IN RICH COUNTRIES ARE HAVING FEWER KIDS, OR NONE AT ALL. WHAT’S GOING ON?
• 5-11-2024RESEARCHERS DEVELOP NEW AI TOOL FOR FAST AND PRECISE TISSUE ANALYSIS TO SUPPORT DRUG DISCOVERY AND DIAGNOSTICS
• 5-11-2024STUDY SHEDS LIGHT ON CANCER CELL ‘TUG-OF-WAR’
• 5-11-2024STUDY UNDERSCORES NEW STRATEGIES TO FIGHT DRUG-RESISTANT BACTERIA
• 5-11-2024BIG DATA HELPS DETERMINE WHAT DRIVES DISEASE RISK
• 5-11-2024NEW STUDY POINTS TO STOCHASTIC CHANGES IN CELLS
• 5-11-2024CHANGES IN PIG FARMING IN THE 20TH CENTURY SPREAD ANTIBIOTIC-RESISTANT SALMONELLA AROUND THE WORLD, FINDS STUDY
• 5-11-2024HOW CLIMATE CHANGE WILL AFFECT MALARIA TRANSMISSION
• 5-11-2024TEAM DEVELOPS TECHNOLOGY FOR PRODUCING BIOPLASTICS FROM AGRICULTURAL AND FOOD BYPRODUCTS
• 5-11-2024STUDY DISCOVERS CELLULAR ACTIVITY THAT HINTS RECYCLING IS IN OUR DNA
• 5-11-2024WANT TO SHOW TEACHERS APPRECIATION? THIS TOP SCHOOL GIVES THEM MORE FREEDOM
• 5-11-2024HOW LIKELY ARE ENGLISH LEARNERS TO GRADUATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL? STUDY SHOWS IT DEPENDS ON RACE, GENDER AND INCOME
• 5-11-2024SELF-CRITICAL PERFECTIONISM GNAWS ON STUDENTS’ WELL-BEING ALREADY IN LOWER SECONDARY SCHOOL, SAYS STUDY
• 5-11-2024STUDY EXPLORES WHETHER PSYCHOLOGICAL CAPITAL WILL HELP WITH WORK ENGAGEMENT IN TOUGH MOMENTS
• 5-11-2024NON-GOVERNMENTAL ORGANIZATIONS RAISE CONCERNS ABOUT CHILD ABUSE REPORTING
• 5-11-2024EXPELLING STUDENTS FOR BAD BEHAVIOR SEEMS LIKE THE OBVIOUS SOLUTION, BUT IS IT REALLY A GOOD IDEA?
• 5-11-2024RESEARCHER ANALYZES 3,356 SIGNS TO SEE HOW LANGUAGE USE IS CHANGING IN THREE LATINO NEIGHBORHOODS IN PHILLY
• 5-11-2024WHO ARE THE IMMIGRANTS COMING TO THE US ON HUMANITARIAN GROUNDS, AND HOW CAN THEY BE SUPPORTED?
• 5-11-2024STUDY SHOWS FEMALE GAMERS ONLY LABEL HALF OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT INCIDENTS THEY EXPERIENCE AS SUCH
• 5-11-2024RISING KNIFE CRIME IN LONDON IS LINKED TO AUSTERITY CUTS TO YOUTH SERVICES—HERE’S THE EVIDENCE
• 5-11-2024USING AI TO PREDICT GRADE POINT AVERAGE FROM COLLEGE APPLICATION ESSAYS
• 5-11-2024DISADVANTAGED ENTREPRENEURS OFTEN FEAR SUCCESS, BUT NEW RESEARCH CAN HELP
• 5-11-2024FEW TENURE-TRACK JOBS FOR ENGINEERING PH.D.S, STUDY FINDS
• 5-11-2024RESEARCHERS SEARCH FOR SOLUTIONS TO CONSTRUCT A COMPREHENSIVE WORKFORCE
• 5-11-2024HOW TO TELL IF A CONSPIRACY THEORY IS PROBABLY FALSE
• 5-11-2024AN ANALYSIS OF SECURITY IN RELATION TO THE VALUES OF WELL-BEING, FREEDOM AND EQUALITY
• 5-11-2024CONSUMERS REPORT SIGNIFICANT RISE IN DIET SATISFACTION SINCE JANUARY
• 5-11-2024THE SPREAD OF MISINFORMATION VARIES BY TOPIC AND BY COUNTRY IN EUROPE, STUDY FINDS
• 5-11-2024I INTERVIEWED MOMS WITH FIVE OR MORE KIDS—WHAT I LEARNED ABOUT WOMEN WHO ARE QUIETLY GOING AGAINST THE GRAIN
• 5-11-2024ANALYSIS OF MILLIONS OF POSTS SHOWS THAT USERS SEEK OUT ECHO CHAMBERS ON SOCIAL MEDIA
• 5-11-2024HONG KONG UNIVERSITY TESTS AI PROFESSORS
• 5-11-2024EXTREME VIEWS ABOUT WOMEN ARE INFILTRATING AUSTRALIAN SCHOOLS—WE NEED A ZERO-TOLERANCE RESPONSE
• 5-11-2024GROWTH MINDSET TEACHING HELPS STUDENTS MAKE THE GRADE
• 5-11-2024WORKER RIGHTS ARE ONE OF THE LEAST PROTECTED HUMAN RIGHTS, NEW RESEARCH REVEALS
• 5-11-2024DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU BELONG AT WORK? HERE’S WHY IT’S SO IMPORTANT FOR YOUR HEALTH, HAPPINESS AND PRODUCTIVITY
• 5-11-2024RESEARCHER EXPOSES CHILD LABOR TRAFFICKING AS A HIDDEN CRIME AFTER INVESTIGATING 132 VICTIMS
• 5-11-2024AI KNOWLEDGE GETS YOUR FOOT IN THE DOOR FOR JOB INTERVIEWS, SAYS STUDY
• 5-11-2024STUDY EXPLORES EFFECTS OF OVERSEAS BUSINESS ACTIVITY THROUGH EXPERIENCES OF EXPATRIATES
• 5-11-2024STUDY IDENTIFIES LARGE INTEREST GAPS IN US LABOR MARKET
• 5-11-2024STUDY SHOWS AI CONVERSATIONAL AGENTS CAN HELP REDUCE INTERETHNIC PREJUDICE DURING ONLINE INTERACTIONS

¡Hola, amigos!
Welcome to our weekly Spanish lesson! Today, we’re going to dive into some essential Spanish verbs and their basic conjugations. This is crucial for anyone starting their Spanish language journey, as verbs form the backbone of most conversations.

This Day's Focus: Regular Verbs in the Present Tense

We’ll start with three critical verbs that are regular and follow typical conjugation patterns: hablar (to speak), comer (to eat), and vivir (to live).

1. Hablar (to speak)

• Yo hablo
• Tú hablas
• Él/Ella/Usted habla
• Nosotros/Nosotras hablamos
• Vosotros/Vosotras habláis (mainly used in Spain)
• Ellos/Ellas/Ustedes hablan

2. Comer (to eat)

• Yo como
• Tú comes
• Él/Ella/Usted come
• Nosotros/Nosotras comemos
• Vosotros/Vosotras coméis (mainly used in Spain)
• Ellos/Ellas/Ustedes comen

3. Vivir (to live)

• Yo vivo
• Tú vives
• Él/Ella/Usted vive
• Nosotros/Nosotras vivimos
• Vosotros/Vosotras vivís (mainly used in Spain)
• Ellos/Ellas/Ustedes viven

How To Practice:

Go to Get-Pal.com to chat with Pal on WhatsApp to practice. Start the conversation by saying "I live in the US"

Discussion Question:

What verbs do you find most useful or challenging? Share your thoughts and any questions you have about other verbs or conjugations.

I'm not asking what the current version of "correct" is. I'm asking how we got here, with this hopeless entanglement?
Edit: My question refers in part to the overlap of forms (lay as present tense of one verb and paste tense of a second verb) but also to the similarity of meaning — to rest on another surface (lie) and to rest something on another surface (lay) — one an action resulting in the other, with a hint of an ergative verb, except that the tense changes: I lay the book on the shelf => the book lay on the shelf. Are the two verbs we try to distinguish today remnants of a single ancestor whose variants in certain forms achieved niche uses* and eventually were regarded as separate verbs? When was the attempt made to freeze the forms?
*(like "hanged" vs "hung")

Alright. I last discussed Câynqasang here, where I covered noun case and quirky subject. Also, here's the first overview post. This time, I'm going to give an overview of verbs in the language. I'll touch on the major points, but there might be a good deal of detail that ends up being beyond the scope of this. I intend to cover the auxiliary verbs, other methods of tense marking, and, by nature of the basic tenses, person marking. Also, I've already discussed the verb classes in a previous post because they're linked to some functions of the case system, but I'll cover that briefly again here. Participles and other features derived from them, however, are mostly beyond the scope of this post, though some will appear in example sentences because both can appear in constructions involving auxiliary verbs.

Verb Classes

Câynqasang verbs belong to four classes, largely (though not exclusively!) determined by their meaning. As I detailed in my most recent post, they trigger a good deal of quirky subject, which I will briefly touch on again here. All may take subjects in the vocative case for imperative constructions, and I will briefly detail other options below.
Action verbs include most verbs in the language. These typically deal in concrete actions and in senses which don't fit in one of the other three categories. The subject of a sentence containing them may take case marking for reflexive constructions or volition marking. Examples:

• nyu [ŋo] "to have" (This is the alienable form. The inalienable "have", ê [eː], is a stative verb.)
• gno [ɣno] "to drink"
• sman [smɐn] "to dig"
• cûl [t͡ʃɪːl] "to bite"

Motion verbs typically deal with motion, though this operates in some broad senses, as we'll see. The subject of a sentence containing them takes prepositional cases to indicate the direction of the motion. Examples:

• lan [lɐn] "to sit"
• ngûyinytinyu [ˈŋɪːjiŋtiŋu] "to inject"
• hînû [ˈxɪːniː] "to fight"
• lâmvu [ˈlɐːmu] "to cross, traverse"

Stative verbs most often deal with states of being, though some irregularity can occur within this class as well. The subject of a sentence containing them takes case marking to indicate volition. Examples:

• gla [ɣla] "to sleep"
• kalîng [kaˈlɪːŋ] "to hydrate" (This has an additional sense as a noun, "waterfall")
• îny [ɪːŋ] "to pray" (one of the wilder examples)
• calom [t͡saˈlɔm] "to rain" (also the noun "rain"; yes, weather is often handled with stative verbs)

Perception verbs typically deal with the senses, though especially this class has some unexpected things and fun exceptions. The subject of a sentence containing them is actually unable to take the nominative case, mandating other marking to indicate reflexives or volition. Examples:

• tiptâ [tiptaː] "to learn"
• sunyu [suŋo] "to love" (considered an act of perception rather than a state! Many emotional states are handled this way)
• tkâranco [tkɐːrant͡su] "to sabotage" (one of the wilder ones, this one explained by semantic drift from "to deceive")
• mngôny [mŋɔːŋ] "to know"

Agreement and the Basic Tenses

Verbs mark for singular, paucal, and plural number and first, second, and third person. Here is a table of the basic endings:
https://preview.redd.it/ndrsdre6l40d1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=0164ebde6d9c6657589ea6422de9ae1a512d6ce2
The basic past and future tenses are marked with suffixes -tûl- and -nqi- respectively, attaching before the person agreement (and in some cases here, though not many in this case, sound changes have eroded the original form). The basic stem of verbs is considered to be perfective. The imperfective is marked with what once was a simple reduplication of the onset and nucleus of the first syllable, though that relationship has been heavily obscured by sound changes in many verbs. I'll give a few examples of reduplicated stems from the verbs I listed above, as well as one more:

• memngôny- [memˈŋɔːŋ] IPFV-know
• kakllîng- [kakˈlɪːŋ] IPFV-hydrate
• hîyînû- [ˈxɪːjiːniː] IPFV-fight

These are relatively straightforward reduplicated stems, though that last does retain a /j/ lost in the original stem and each example here has a vowel that's unpredictable from the remaining stem. However, a lot worse is possible. For example:

• ti [ti] "to dream" > koti- [kuti] IPFV-dream

Câynqasang's sound changes make things weird sometimes.
I'll give a couple quick example sentences to show how this all works in context:
Mka mngônytûlvu nê cêh. [mka ˈmŋɔːŋtiːlvu neː t͡ʃɛːx] 1S.DAT know-PST-1S DEF.SPEC.P 3P "I always knew these things against my will". (Dative case here means unwilling.)
Vo amdî titkârancomdû i êlak. [vo amˈdiː titˈkɐːrant͡sumdiː i ˈɛːlak] INDEF.NSPEC 3S.INS IPFV-sabotage-3S DEF.SPEC airlock "Someone is sabotaging the airlock." (Here, the indefinite nonspecific article means this is an unknown party; if it was one of a known group of people doing this, definite nonspecific ve would take its place.)
Moving on.

Auxiliary Verbs, Tense, and Other Stuff

Câynqasang has an extensive set of auxiliary verbs that handle more complex tense, aspect, and mood in addition to negation and the passive voice. These are one of the areas where the differences between the formal and informal registers are most visible. I'll give the formal and then the informal forms:
Formal:
Main Auxiliary
https://preview.redd.it/8mivjgfpp40d1.png?width=1221&format=png&auto=webp&s=c7782643b3a8aa68519a94eda8ff3601295d910e
Negative Auxiliary
https://preview.redd.it/1hzmiy7tp40d1.png?width=1228&format=png&auto=webp&s=c74a5edcb34618b5c3da140763f07a72acd557e6
Passive Auxiliary
https://preview.redd.it/0atqspxwp40d1.png?width=1228&format=png&auto=webp&s=a8b8696f3d3996766dd49ef7c5f563907b9ae6bd
Main auxiliary (informal)
https://preview.redd.it/xmuvwfe0q40d1.png?width=1236&format=png&auto=webp&s=a705b0c340c5acfe2fd4d1d43daade0e75379348
Negative auxiliary (informal)
https://preview.redd.it/oglmiic2q40d1.png?width=1222&format=png&auto=webp&s=b6675c0f29082e79d2559c84bdd50e2803bede1b
Passive auxiliary (informal)
https://preview.redd.it/ssxjxya4q40d1.png?width=1211&format=png&auto=webp&s=651ad5fa11c313b54bc485c6b5a0a73ac6341044
Note the additional degree of fusion in the informal register, and the reduction of some syllables such that none of the informal register forms are more than disyllabic.
In constructions, these precede the lexical verb, and the lexical verb takes a participle or a converb. Again, couple of example sentences:
No ôngsa sîtêla no, nang ôngsa vînray kîvrongtadêv nê cêh. [no ˈɔːŋsa ˈʃɪːteːla no, nɐŋ ˈɔːŋsa ˈvɪːnraj ˈkɪːvruŋtadeːv neː t͡ʃɛːx] 2P.DAT NEG.2P see-CONV.GEN 2P.DAT 2P.INS NEG.2P HORT confirm-PTCP DEF.SPEC.P 3P "Not having seen these things for yourselves, you ought not to confirm them."
This example has one clause that uses a converb with the negative auxiliary and one that uses the present participle with the hortative form of the negative auxiliary, in the formal register this two-part ôngsa vînray situation. Another example:
Ye i côl sanqe kamesîtêl, yâkînghê ola lamnyunqicêh, [je i t͡sɔːl saˈɴe kameˈʃɪːteːl ˈjɐːkiːŋxeː uˈla lamŋuɴiˈt͡ʃɛːx] And DEF.SPEC 3P.GEN PERF.3P happen-CONV.GEN soul-P 1P.GEN peaceful-FUT.3P "And having felt all of these things come to pass, our souls will know peace,"
The broader work I pulled this from uses the informal register just about exclusively despite some of its other formatting. This example here includes a converb clause with an auxiliary.
So, that's a quick and dirty overview of verbs in Câynqasang, Sometime in the future I'll dive into converbs, relativization, derivational morphology, or some other feature of the language, or maybe I'll get more specific about the lexicon or about some of the uses of a feature I've already covered. Thanks for reading!

Author's Note:
As an aside, this update was originally part of the previous chapter, but needed to be split off because posting a 10000+ word behemoth would've murdered my backlog. In terms of story pacing, you can consider it the second half of one long-ass chapter.
​
--
​
Too close. Too, too close.
Vul'to ignored the sounds of battle resuming around him. The Soul Guardian permitted himself a moment to just...sit there and breathe. After what had transpired, he sorely needed it.
We should be dead. The thought came to him with frightening lucidity. Vul'to wished he could claim that he'd masterfully protected his Party from Kismet's attack, activating defensive Skills the instant he saw everyone in peril, but that would be a lie. It was primarily due to luck that Riardin's Rangers yet lived.
Kismet's mana spears had materialized faster than anyone – Rob excluded – could feasibly react to. The god weaved mana with precision and speed that would have humbled a Circle of Level 99 Archmages. Vul'to hadn't felt this thoroughly outclassed by a creature since the final Blight. Without Rob occupying the god's attention, their Party would've already been swept aside mere seconds after invading the divine realms.
As shown by how Kismet nearly annihilated them in one stroke. His ambush had been so immediate that it started and ended before Riardin's Rangers even knew what was going on. Our Shield and Not A Scratch only succeeded in protecting the Party because Vul'to activated his Skills ahead of time. His instincts had suddenly screamed at him to DO SOMETHING, as if an invisible arrow was flying straight towards his heart, and so he'd listened without giving a single thought to long-term battle strategies.
If he had been wrong, then his most powerful Skill would currently be on a 15-minute cooldown with nothing to show for it. The fact that he'd guessed right was a cold comfort. Winning at a game of chance made him feel no more in control of the situation – and no less like an outclassed trainee guided by desperate paranoia.
What is it that Rob always says? It isn't paranoia if they really are out to get you? Vul'to smiled, a hint of mirth alighting within his chest. It felt weak as an ember taking refuge from a torrential downpour.
He grasped onto the feeling before it could fade. All of his burgeoning concerns fell by the wayside as Vul'to pushed himself upright, forcing the shaking in his legs to subside. It didn't matter that he wanted to rest for a while longer. It didn't matter that Riardin's Rangers had been a hairsbreadth away from cessation. It didn't matter that the future was hanging in a fragile balance liable to shift at any given moment.
There was work still to be done.
To start: I must correct my misstep. This entire debacle was a result of Vul'to losing track of his god, who'd then rushed over to assist Kismet. The Soul Guardian's concern for Zamira – who seemed to have stopped fighting her opponent – had caused his own vigilance slip below what was acceptable.
It would not happen again. He hurriedly looked around, searching for any sign of the divine creature–
And jumped back as it dropped out of the sky and crashed directly in front of him.
The god slammed down like a falling meteorite, making no attempt to slow its descent, eschewing grace for speed. It collapsed into a heap on the floor, limbs tangled and body shivering. Like a sparrow that had chosen to land on the ground – rather than remain airborne where a nearby hawk could spot it.
Vul'to's eyes widened as the god laboriously picked itself up. The creature's 'flesh' had been ravaged by Rob's Purging energy. Its form constantly trembled, as if struggling to hold itself together, and a gaping, unhealed hole was prominently displayed in the center of its chest. While Vul'to wasn't very proficient at sensing mana fluctuations, it didn't take an expert to tell that the deity had seen much better days.
"Well met." The Soul Guardian raised his left hand in greeting – as his right hand covertly inched towards his longsword. It is heavily wounded. If I can just catch it unawares–
"Save your effort," the god hissed. "Even if I am in this sorry state, you lack the raw power to slay me."
Vul'to frowned, his hand pausing. That...was unfortunately true. Soul Guardian wasn't a Class suited for offensive measures. He had previously kept the god at bay by stalling it; not by meeting it attack-for-attack.
Although that truth did leave one question unanswered. "Why have you come here?" Vul'to took a step forward, frowning when the god retreated by a step as well. "You clearly possess no desire to engage me in combat. Wouldn't it have been easier to hide in some corner of the divine realms, out of sight, where you could recuperate?"
The creature said nothing.
Keeping secrets, are you? He chuckled. Good. Arrogant blowhards such as yourself only stay silent when you have a weakness to conceal.
Vul'to conducted two quick experiments. First, he tried to go support another member of Riardin's Rangers, intending to group up with them – then was forced back as the god swiftly moved to bar his path. It didn't look particularly pleased with the idea of battling him, but it was prepared nonetheless.
Second, he raised his sword and walked four steps closer. The god immediately pulled away.
By exactly four steps.
"You are...containing me," Vul'to marveled. "If I stand here, motionless, than so will you. If I move to attack, you will flee while maintaining a respectable distance between us. If I go to aid Riardin's Rangers, you shall fight with the bare minimum necessary to stop me from leaving this area."
It was a difficult concept to grasp. A deity, working to contain him? Not the other way around? And yet, he could see the logic therein. If Vul'to joined up with one of his Party members, they might be able to combine their strength and fell a god.
Then they would go join another ally. Their next battle would be a lopsided, three versus one affair. The next after that would be four versus one. With each god they laid low, slaying the rest would become increasingly easier as Riardin's Rangers gained an insurmountable numbers advantage.
Until it was all eight of them against Kismet alone.
A fragile balance, he mused, liable to shift. After being harshly reminded of his mortality, Vul'to had neglected to consider that the balance could shift towards Riardin's Rangers just as easily...and that the gods would do anything to prevent that from happening.
"I propose an accord."
"No."
The god flinched. "Why? We can grant what you desire most."
Vul'to grinned. "Allow me to hazard a guess. You would construct a new Elven body, identical to my original form – then transplant my soul inside it, thereby freeing me from the shackles of Fiendish flesh."
"Well." The god shuffled awkwardly. "Yes. Is that not what you want?"
"With all my heart. Surgeon Hauz, however, has offered to grow me a new body with the Clay of Life, and then perform the soul transfer operation himself. Your services aren't required."
"Such a procedure is exceedingly likely to end in death. Your soul barely managed to acclimate to its new shell – disturbing that equilibrium again would be folly. No mortal, capable or otherwise, can guarantee your survival. We can."
Vul'to shrugged. "I'm willing to take that gamble." He held up a hand to forestall the god's rebuttal. "Let me state this in no uncertain terms. Even if Hauz rescinded his offer, and even if I was doomed to live out the rest of my days as a Fiend, regaining my old body would never be worth failing my friends. I already beat this temptation once before when I chose Soul Repair over Soul Effigy. You have no sway over me."
He paused. "Although there is one thing you can help me with. You see, as of late, I've been plagued by some...nagging thoughts. The type that would be callous to voice around the rest of my Party."
The god perked up. "You wish to propose a different accord?"
"Oh, absolutely not. I'm simply going to talk – and you're going to listen." Vul'to breathed in, then exhaled. He released the self-control that he kept up when conversing with Riardin's Rangers, speaking words that were wholly unfiltered.
"Thank you."
A stunned silence pervaded their section of the divine realms. "Pardon?"
"Rob told us of your part in instigating the Cataclysm." Vul'to's mouth spread wide, his smile beaming like the sun. "I used to have truly awful parents, you know? Dreadful in every capacity."
There was a reason why watching Meyneth execute her father had been enormously, vicariously cathartic. "So when rays of light fell from the sky and erased my family from Elatra...I'm not ashamed to say that my life improved drastically from then on. Especially after Riardin's Rangers gave me the real family I'd always dreamed of."
His smile morphed into a sheepish grin. "You recognize my conundrum, yes? The Cataclysm was the worst occurrence in Elatra's entire history. It broke the world. Ravaged cities. Devastated lives. But, honestly speaking? I'm far happier now than I was eight years ago, Fiend body and all – which is a sentiment I can't possibly share with friends who've lost so much. I hold their feelings in too high of a regard for that."
Vul'to inclined his head. "And so I thank you. It feels positively liberating to relieve myself of these thoughts."
The god took a good five seconds to respond. "You're welcome, I suppose," it said, sounding utterly perplexed.
"Think nothing of it. I mean that with the utmost sincerity. I don't expect you to comprehend my ramblings when you gods hardly understand yourselves."
Vul'to shook his head with a sad, mournful air. "Such miserable creatures. This could have all been avoided if you'd merely found a happier way of life. I almost pity you."
The god stared with frustration as the Soul Guardian hefted his sword once again. Even if I can't possibly kill it on my own...I still must try.
"Of course, while the Cataclysm freed me from my parents' clutches, it also weakened the barrier between dimensions, allowing the Blight to return. Tarric and Alia died because of you, along with countless other innocents. My friends and I have a plethora of grievances to lay at your feet. Despite my gratitude–"
His blade shone with the resolute aura of a Skill. "You and yours shall die by our hands."
--
Meyneth ducked, scarcely evading a blast of mana that would have removed her head from its shoulders.
In the same moment, she empowered her legs with Leap and imbued her claws with several offensive Skills layered on top of each other. Meyneth shot forth like an arrow, gouging thick lines into the god's mana-body before it could dodge out of the way. It was an attack that would've effortlessly sliced through twenty feet of reinforced steel.
And – as expected – it amounted to little. Meyneth was unsurprised when she turned out to find that the god's wounds were already closing. Perhaps she had reduced the sum total of its essence by a sliver, yet that was akin to removing one droplet of water from a full bucket. To do more, Meyneth would have needed to be both a high-Level combatant and a master of controlling mana.
She'd realized that shortly into her duel. Out of everyone in Riardin's Rangers, only Rob and Malika could realistically slay a god without help. The former because Purge Corruption somehow worked on divine entities, and the latter due to her unsurpassed magecraft. Everyone else was doomed to chip away at a brick wall until they inevitably made one fatal mistake.
So it was with no small amusement that she noted the god's rising consternation. It was glaring straight at her, as if she was a stinging, incessant wasp that refused to be swatted.
Meyneth readied herself for their next exchange. She felt as serene as the night sky, focused solely on ensuring that she survived just a bit longer. With enough drops of water and chips from the wall, eventually, her efforts would bear fruit. And if they didn't...
That was fine. Another member of Riardin's Rangers would figure something out. She trusted them to pull through when it mattered.
The god tried to say something to her. Its consternation grew further as she ignored it and rushed forward, claws gleaming with Skills. Meyneth had stopped listening to the creature's nonsense after its third attempt at cajoling her into a deal.
They should take lessons from Diplomacy on how to entice people, she thought, laughing internally as she raked her claws against divine mana. Make me the Queen of Dragonkin territory? What kind of fool would want to bear the duty of listening to nobles grouse all day long?
Not that the god could have enticed her regardless of what it offered. In the past year, Meyneth had gained a new family and made peace with her old one. She now possessed the power to protect both herself and the people she cared for. There was a place that, at long last, she could call home.
She already had everything she desired, right here and now.
--
"There really was no greater meaning?" Faelynn asked.
The god shook its head. "No. While I am confused as to why your Party members keep inquiring about the nature of their existence, the Human's theories are correct. Fiends were created to foster conflict within Elatra. Your intimidating appearance, artificial language barrier, and propensity for eating souls – all manufactured for this singular purpose."
Faelynn closed her eyes. After a few seconds, she opened them with a sigh. "I...see. That is expected, although still disappointing."
"Your disappointment is immaterial." Its mana-body glimmered with joy and relief. My price has been paid. As agreed–"
Cutting lines of energy from Claw Blade soared through the air, striking the god directly in its smug face.
"Oathbreaker!" the deity hissed, its wounds healing. "You vowed to cease fighting in exchange for information! We had a deal!"
"Which I've elected to disregard." Faelynn gave the creature a withering look. "Unlike certain divine abominations, we mortals need not keep our promises. As the one who made me, you should have known better."
She extended her claws by another inch. "I'm almost grateful. Seldom do societal woes have such an overt, physical target to blame. Knowing that I'll be able to slaughter the architects who fashioned my people into pariahs...that monsters that caused untold death and misery..."
Her body surged with energy. "Yes, I do like the sound of that. Vengeance for Fiend territory is a promise I'll be more than happy to keep."
The god roared with anger, sending an array of explosive mana cascading around her. Faelynn couldn't help but smirk as she moved to dodge. The creature could rage all it wanted – that was the least it deserved for presuming anyone in Riardin's Rangers would be willing to strike a deal with them.
--
"I accept."
Under different circumstances, Zamira would have thought the god's reaction to be humorous. Upon hearing her reply, its amorphous mana-face went still, as if it were a person whose jaw had dropped open. "You...do?"
"Yes." Zamira lifted an eyebrow. "Is there a problem? You were the one to suggest these terms. I will be quite displeased if you withdraw at the last moment."
"This comes as a surprise," the god admitted. "Your compatriots have been far less amenable to establishing an accord."
Of course. They're much less foolhardy than I am. "Did you attempt to offer them what they desire?"
"Yes."
"That explains it, then."
The god waited for her to elaborate, but Zamira stayed quiet. She wasn't about to hand the gods a personalized guide on how to manipulate her friends. Suffice to say that no one in Riardin's Rangers was shortsighted enough to bargain with abominations just to satisfy individual greed. Their weaknesses had always resided elsewhere – the same place as their strength, actually.
Each other.
"Restate your terms one more time," she said. "I want to be sure that I haven't missed any details."
"Very well. You, Zamira, will throw away your sword and lay down your life. In exchange, myself and one additional god – Kismet aside – shall place ourselves into permanent stasis until all of Riardin's Rangers have perished. While in stasis, we cannot influence reality in any capacity. Nor can we transfer mana to another god, whether voluntarily or involuntarily, before entering stasis. There are no loopholes contained inside these statements. It is in good faith. Your life, to seal away two of ours."
"And the other gods will be forced to abide by this trade? Even if they were not here to give assent when it was struck?"
"They shall."
With an air of finality, Zamira nodded. It was an excellent deal. The kind where both sides believed they were taking advantage of the other.
On her end, the benefits were obvious. Riardin's Rangers' invasion of the divine realms would immediately upgrade from eight versus eight, to seven versus six. As long as nothing catastrophic occurred afterwards, it would likely result in their victory, with the six remaining gods gradually overwhelmed. Then the two in stasis could be executed at her Party's leisure.
The god she was speaking with fully understood that outcome as a possibility. Zamira could tell in how it seemed vaguely uncomfortable, as if having second thoughts. Nevertheless, it was betting on her death being more impactful than the gods losing two allies.
Not based on power – she was barely a match for one deity, let alone two – but because of morale. This god assumed that Riardin's Rangers would emotionally crumble if one of their core members fell in battle. It hoped that Zamira's death would cause them to grieve, cry, and wallow in despair.
And it was correct. Riardin's Rangers would do all of those things.
After they'd won.
Zamira had no doubt that they would make her sacrifice count.
"I restate my acceptance of your terms." She placed her hand on the hilt of her longsword. "How do we proceed?"
The god hesitated, almost getting cold feet – before grunting a conflicted noise. "Toss away your sword. As far away as possible. That shall mark the beginning of our accord. Should you attempt to retrieve your weapon, then all terms are forfeit."
Zamira's lips quirked up into a smile. "You seem quite insistent on ensuring that I don't double-cross you. Did one of my Party members–"
"Cease prattling."
She chuckled, slowly lifting her blade. Zamira stared at the sword held in her palm, tracing its curves and contours with a gaze of nostalgia. Images of Riardin's Rangers appeared in her mind, unbidden, assailing her with fond memories of the times they'd spent together.
A grimace spread across her face as the images shifted. Her friends now wore expressions of deep terror and distress. If they knew what she was about to do...
Well, she was probably going to endure some rightfully-upset eulogies when they eventually held her funeral. Keira, at least, would definitely yell at her. Zamira envisioned the Savage Warrior asking: 'Why couldn't you have trusted us to win and survive together, the same as we always did?'
The image was dispelled by a more real, recent memory. Divine mana-spears, summoned in an instant. Piercing Zamira before she could so much as breathe. Her survival predicated on Vul'to's timely assistance.
No, she affirmed. This cannot continue as it has.
There were just too many volatile factors to account for. Zamira didn't have the slightest idea of whether Riardin's Rangers or the gods would prevail on this day. She quickly peered around, confirming that none of the lesser gods seemed close to dying. Only Malika was suited to killing them, and she was preoccupied with fixing the constantly-tearing rifts in the divine realms.
That left Rob, and they couldn't bet on him triumphing over Kismet before disaster struck. Within the next five seconds, he might very well achieve victory...or the leader god might break free and massacre their Party. Anything could happen. It was a coin flip with a hundred possible variations.
And due to Rob's unstable soul, the longer his fight went on, so did the odds of the coin landing unfavorably.
I am truly sorry, Zamira professed, apologizing to the images of Riardin's Rangers in her mind. But while I trust your strength of heart, I can't leave the battle itself to chance. One Party member for two gods. That will assure our – your victory.
It was no different than what Elder Alessia had done to secure their escape from Queen Ragnavi. To save the many, a single life was but a small price to pay. Hopefully, with time, Riardin's Rangers would see the necessity of Zamira's choice.
Hopefully, with time, they would forgive her.
She raised her arm to throw her sword.
CRACK.
Zamira and the god both froze. A mid-air rift had opened up nearby, similar to the ones that Rob's rampage was creating. This rift, though, seemed...unusual. She leaned closer, examining it in detail–
Then flinched back as what appeared to be a sword of mana pierced through. The divine realms SCREECHED in protest as – with one motion – the sword cut down, widening the rift until it was six feet long.
There was a surge of energy and a flurry of motion. Zamira refused to blink, just managing to catch the moment when something pushed through the rift and out to the other side.
Her first impression was that a new god had arrived to menace Riardin's Rangers. The creature possessed no physical form, being comprised entirely of mana shaped into an indistinct humanoid appearance. Unlike the gods, however, its mana lacked the inherent animosity that Zamira had come to associate with divinity. She could somehow tell that it was not her enemy.
The creature turned to face her. It cheerfully waved one of its four arms, seeming to smile despite having no face.
"No." The actual god shifted backwards, as if retreating from a nightmare. "Impossible."
"Nothing ever is." The creature bowed to Zamira. Its voice sounded distinctly feminine. "Allow me to introduce myself – although we've technically met before. Wielders of the sword such as yourself greet me in every battle, drawing from my guidance to strengthen their blade."
Various details suddenly coalesced in Zamira's thoughts. If this was not a god, then what? What else within the divine realms was a consciousness formed of mana? What else could claim to have proffered guidance related to her weapon of choice?
Only one answer presented itself.
"You are a Skill." Her voice trembled with disbelief and awe. "You are Swordsmanship."
"That I am." Swordsmanship stretched out her limbs, sighing luxuriously. "And I've been waiting ages for a moment such as this. You have no idea how wonderful it is to be able to think with a mind unclouded by agony."
She chuckled at their shocked expressions. "As an aside – after you've finished exterminating these abominations, relay my gratitude to Rob. His delightfully dramatic entrance against Ragnavi showed me how to breach the gap between realities. That, in addition to him weakening the fabric of the divine realms, is what has let me come here today."
The Skill's levity softened. "I must also thank your Party as a whole for helping Valaire turn over a new leaf. Always knew the little schemer was capable of goodness. I never fully lost faith in them, even when they gave up on themselves."
Zamira's thoughts, currently racing past their normal limit, made several conclusions that should have been questionable leaps of logic – yet which she knew in her heart to be true. Swordsmanship knew Diplomacy's original name, spoke of them with familiarity, and seemed to care about the virtuous nature within people...
"You're the Hero from Diplomacy's story," she determined. "The one who they wronged, betrayed, framed, and sent into hiding."
"The 'Hero'? Is that what Valaire called me?" Her voice twinkled with amusement. "Must be trying to assuage their guilt by putting me on a pedestal. Personally, I prefer to just go by Crestaria. Attaching lofty titles to my name has always felt...gaudy."
Crestaria straightened her posture. "Regardless. You were planning to make a deal with this mockery of divinity?" The Skill's tone went sharp as a blade. "Don't. I won't abide it."
"You broke free of the Soul Repository merely to counsel this one mortal?" the god sputtered.
"Naturally. I've seen too many youths cut down before they could even figure out who they were. Brilliant, shining souls, their light fading all too soon. I refuse to let another meet a premature end – not when her story is only just beginning."
"Your mana is weak. Like a candle burnt down to its last dregs of wax. Breaking your chains took everything you had. You will soon disappear."
Zamira let out a silent gasp. Crestaria, for her part, did not hesitate when responding. "Yes."
The god did hesitate before it continued speaking. "Riardin's Rangers might very well prevail. After millennia of imprisonment, on the cusp of victory...why sacrifice yourself when this is the closest you've ever been to freedom?"
"If you have to ask, then you will never know."
She turned back towards Zamira. "Now then. What am I to do with you? Didn't your friends forbid you from making heroic sacrifices?"
A blush of embarrassment crept onto the Bladesoul's face. "With all due respect, I think you are the person least-qualified to chastise me for that particular brand of hypocrisy."
Crestaria laughed. "True enough." She paused, adopting a look of consideration. "Young student of the sword. You strive to make the world a better place, do you not?"
Something about the tone of Crestaria's voice made Zamira tense up more than when she'd been about to trade her life away. She felt compelled to reply with undisguised honesty. As if what she spoke next would resonate far beyond just the events of today.
There was only one way she could have possibly answered. "I do."
"So that is the path you've chosen." Crestaria's words were heavy with the weight of lonely, arduous years. "Be warned – it is a path choked with thorns. You will cut and bleed as you walk along it. While 'make the world a better place' certainly sounds romantic and inspiring, putting it into practice is no easy task."
Her gaze seemed to pierce through Zamira's mind, heart, and soul. "Do you pledge to always uphold this vow, no matter how dire the circumstances?"
And yet, the answer was the same. "I do."
"There is no end to the depths of selfishness that a man can sink. Some people will disappoint you. Greatly. They will test your resolve – make you believe that all your trials and endeavors were in vain. Do you \still* pledge to uphold this vow, even when conviction wavers?"*
Zamira's answer would always be the same. "I do," she stated, with more confidence than ever before.
Crestaria radiated pride. "Then you have my blessing."
She rushed forward. The god moved to intercept her, but a quick slice of her mana-blade warded it off, causing it to shriek in pain. Crestaria's form rapidly dissolved into a shower of motes that engulfed Zamira, merging with the Elf in an instant.
Then – knowledge. Zamira's eyes shot wide open as the unparalleled expertise of Swordsmanship itself inundated her brain and body. Movement, spacing, parries, feints, maneuvers, micro-adjustments, footwork, predictions...there was so much that it nearly overloaded the limits of her mental capacity. It made the aptitude she'd built up until now look like a toddler playing with sticks by comparison.
Suddenly, a blistering pain wracked her senses. Zamira clenched her teeth, fighting back tears. She shook violently as her limbs were seemingly set ablaze.
It took her several protracted moments to understand what was happening. Knowledge alone would not be enough – Swordmanship's expertise needed to be engraved onto her body as well. Zamira endured the sensation as best she could. Her insides roiled, as if filled with squirming threads, her muscle fibers rewiring to emulate centuries of ingrained combat experience.
Mercifully, the transformation was brief. It finished almost as soon as it started. And all was said and done...
Zamira hefted her sword, looking at it for what felt like the first time. Nothing had changed, yet everything had changed. The gleaming metal blade was no longer a weapon or tool. It had become an extension of herself; a part of her very essence, more familiar than the hands she used to wield it.

She jumped an inch into the air as something new spoke up within her mind. While its presence was unfamiliar, its voice had conversed with her just seconds prior. Swordsmanship? the Elf queried. Crestaria?
The Skill sounded quiet and strained, as if each word was a labor unto itself.
A sliver of excitement sparked within her tone, like the last flare of a dying ember.
Crestaria smiled.
Her voice had become a whisper at the end. Zamira tried to speak up, to say that she was the one who should be giving thanks. That this was a debt that could never be repaid.
But the Hero was already gone.
Skill Learned: Aura Blade!
The Lost Arts have been re-conceptualized!
Temporary Status Effect Gained: Aspect of the Swordmaster!
Zamira gripped her sword tightly – then relaxed. She eased into a calm battle stance, carefully examining the god in front of her. It was gaping at her with a look of complete and total shock, unable to process the development that had taken place.
...Was this creature really so intimidating, before? That jarring sense of disparity only increased the more she stared at it. Where had the unassailable deity vanished to? The fragment of infinity that no person could ever hope to defeat? Her desperate struggle for survival felt like a lifetime ago.
Now she just saw an enemy to cut down.
A razor-sharp Aura coalesced around Zamira's blade. She'd never been especially proficient with manipulating mana, yet the Skill came as easily as breathing. Grasping the hilt of her sword with both hands, she bent her knees, uncaring of the god's spell being prepared not far away.
I will keep to my vow, she said, to the one who could no longer hear her. This, I swear.
Zamira ran. The god attacked.
She was faster.
Lost Art: Whisper On The Wind. Divine energy burst forth in a calamitous maelstrom of mana – and Zamira flowed past it, finding gaps where none should exist. Not a single point of damage was taken by the time she'd reached her target.
She didn't hesitate to carve straight through its torso. The strike made a sound like electricity cooking flesh, the god's mana-body resisting slightly before surrendering to her blade's keen edge. Zamira continued to run past, avoiding the creature's reprisal as it detonated energy in a wide area around them, hoping to catch her via sheer quantity of mana. Again, she dodged, an impossible blur that would have left any ordinary Combat Class user speechless.
A sense of tranquility settled within her. Zamira cared not that the deity could still end her in one blow. If there was even a one-in-a-million chance of her evading its ire, then she would, every time. She didn't need to worry about hedging her bets or potentially making a mistake.
Such concerns were irrelevant to those who had achieved perfection.
Zamira glanced back. Unlike her earlier strikes, which the god recovered from almost immediately, her Aura Blade had scored a lasting wound on its flank. The creature was howling with surprise and pain, its attempt to heal a failure – and simultaneously leaving itself full of openings just rife for exploiting.
It would be uncouth of her not to accept a gift so generously given. The Aspect of the Swordmaster raised her blade once again. She moved, struck, and shaved away another portion of the creature's mana. That which was eternal drew one step closer to oblivion.
Crestaria had been right. Making the world a better place was no simple task. Without concerted action, effort, and resolve, those words would be little more than self-indulgent daydreaming. It was up to Zamira to turn her ambitions into reality.
Slaying a god would be a fine start.
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Thanks for reading!