Hello, I need some advice on how to deal with trust issues, here's how I got them in the first place.
I (19M) had a bad time socializing with girls during my school days, developed a crush on this senior girl didn't do anything about it her brother got to know this and threatened me to stay away from her (which I was already doing since I was afraid of rejection) year later developed crush on a new girl of my class didn't confess thistimew either but she knew it and talk it out with me how she was in love with her ex and it's just an attraction, fast forward I'm in my college first yeard attended out freshers party had fun became the Mr. Fresher this beautiful final year girl awarded me and gabe me a sash, fell in love with her just at that moment asked her name that day, and few days later entered a rangoli contest she and her friend didtoor hit it off from there exchanged Instagram account, she post a picture of her's on her story I said her outfit looks nice she said thanks and talked a bit more then (still don't know how I got the courage) said I like her she said "I'm your senior" In a flirty way, later went to college after a few days met her and her friends she said she was looking for me and also wore the same outfit that I complimented hung out with me for whole day had a coffee with me and even grabbed me to her class, at the end of the day asked her I we could date, she went silent andherh friend said "her name if you're loyal you'll tell" I ask what and she didn't say anything then her friend said she a boyfriend and she has been in a relationship with him since school, got sad and asked his name she told it and realized they're of different religion asked her how will they get married? She said they won't,I asked then why be in a relationship with him she said she didn't Think about it when they started dating (she was 14), I said breakup him and date me instead since we follow the same religion and she said she couldn't leave him right now, I said ok then let's just stay friends (ofc I did said so because I liked being with her) a few months pass and the final year students decided to go on a picnic and they as me to go to with them since I usually hung out with themoonly, picnic day comes I get ready made sure I look good for her vehicle stops in front of me and what do I see she's sitting with another guy (not her bf) at this point we were really close and she was aware of my feelings) now that guy is flirting with her and all even at the picnic when everyone was busy in cooking and all she was wandering with this guy, my seniors realized how devastated I was seeing her do this they tied to cheer me a bit but didn't really work, got a moment to talk with her and asked way was she doing this she said like I had a crush on her, she had a crush on this guy FOR months, picnic ends we go back I go to my home sad and all, a childhood friend of mine says she's coming back , next day i go to college and see her standing with the guy but she looks really sad i ignore her and go to guys from my class, next day i went out to another city due to some work when I receive her call she was crying and asked me where I was, I answered and she ended the call, I come back a week later and she calls again asking how could leave her alone like that and that she was miserable for the past week I asked her why and she said she felt guilty hanging out with that guy that day and wanted to talk to me the next day but I ignored her, told her how sad I felt and she said sorry then asked me if I wanted to see her house I said yes and she gave me direction went there parked my bike and talk a bit more with her on call, she on her balcony and outside her house.
From there we started chatting and calling daily for for 7-8 hours (while doing our chores) and at night . Every few weeks I would ask her to breakup with her bf and be with me and her just shrugging it off, no problem now we started going back to college and now we daily go our to this lake nearby to be alone and spend time together, when one day her boyfriend came back from his hostel (in a different city ) and caught her with me, they had a huge fight there and then he told me to take her away, I did and dropped her at her house.
I thought this is bad but atleast her relationship was over, I was wrong she just kept crying on calls for the next 3 days it reached to the point that i called her bf asking him to talk to her and guess what they're back in a relationship his demand being that she block me on Instagram and messages, she does, I think it's our but no she starts talking to me on Snapchat, it's back to how it was. She finally graduates and moves to a bigger city for further education with her friend. She says she feels lonely and misses her home and asks me to to visit, for my first visit we just wander around the city and click some pictures (important later) I store all her and mine photo on my google drive, the second time I visit we see a movie together and then come back to her apartment and since we were alone things got a bit physical, I didn't do it with her since she had told me we'll do it only after marriage (she talked a lot about marrying me and how she shower me with love after I marry her)
Now comes the worst day of my life a day before her birthday she tells me not to visit since she'll be visiting her parents, I trust her and prepare to wish her at 12 then her friend also her roommate calls and tells me she was lying the whole time she didn't visit her parents but was instead with her bf at a hotel and planed to spending the night with him, I just fell to my knees crying with my stomach hurting and just felt like puking. Decided to just leave her and not contact her again but couldn't control the pain I was feeling like how could she do this, decided to call her bf and told him everything she did with me he didn't believe me so sent him her photos with me (all were decent) he then blocked me, next day her friends call me screaming at me saying I destroyed her image in front of her boyfriend and how much better he was than me because he still stayed with her after all she did, now I didn't do anything for a few days but both my physical and mental health were in decline, I couldn't even eat without vomiting, so decided to visit her and don't know why but in some stupid brain I started begging her to be with me and just marry me when she's done dating him since she couldn't marry him, she says why would she do that when she has so may options of men who will marry her. She just kept insulting me, inside I was angry at her like how could she be so arrogant when she's the one who lied to both of us.
I leave light a cigarette and get on a bus to my town, thinking about all the things she said tomme, got better physical and mentally while still missing her and trying to call her meaninglessly since I was blocked.
6 moths later she says her family has found a groom for her and they're forcing her to get married, she wants me to come and talk with her parents and ask them to let me marry her.
I for some wired reas agreed on one condition that she tells her parents that she and I are in love and from there I'll take care of everything, she doesn't stating that it'll ruin her image in front of her parents. Months go bye her marriage date come closer I ask her again and again to tell her parents about me and she refuses, 2 days before she gets married she complies to me that the groom her parents had found isn't upto her "standards" Like how his manners and language aren't that well and that he's short at 5" 4 (she's 4" 9) and she has a habit of tall boys like me and that's way she wants to marry me, all this time I thought it because she loved me but it was the height.
Now she's married.
Leaving me with great trust issues, like before when I used to see a pretty girl I used to be like how lucky her boyfriend must me but now just hope they aren't cheating on their boyfriend.
How to get over this, I know it was my fault to get involved when I knew she had a bf but I had already fallen for her and knew she couldn't marry him making her relationship just meaningless to me. Her bf was in a different city so they were in a long distance and I didn't understood she was in a relationship, I knew but didn't understood.

I (23F) have been dating my boyfriend (23M) for 6 years. He was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer last year and after 4 rounds of chemo and an out-of-state stem cell transplant, was given 1-2 years left to live in January. He has continued palliative chemo since then and things have been relatively calm, his oncologist even told us he was doing great. On May 16th he had a Grand Mal seizure and I was there to witness it and call the ambulance. He got to the hospital, they discovered 3 new brain tumors and he was then put on a ventilator for 4 days to try and control his seizures.
The past year has been traumatic enough as is, but this has pushed me over the edge. I feel like a shell of myself. I get such vivid images of his seizure in my head and I physically wince. He is now on hospice care and I feel like all the medical trauma from the past year has just slammed into me all at once. I haven’t been able to get out of bed for two days at the thought of having to witness another seizure or medical emergency.
Im posting because I don’t know how to deal with this. I’m in therapy but it’s mostly just to vent. If anyone has gone through anything similar, what are your coping mechanisms? How do you control the debilitating thoughts? I want to be able to support my boyfriend at the end of his life, not be curled up in my bed unable to move.

Ten years ago this year, I was selected for a residential internship-like program. I had to move across the country for it. The program was a year long and immediately followed my college graduation. As a 21 year old, I was excited for the new adventure.
The day I found out I was accepted, I told my boyfriend at the time, Sean.
"You're not going to do it, right?" He asked.
He didn't want me to leave him. And while the thought of being long distance sucked, I wanted the experience. I told him that I would be doing the program and that I would help come up with a plan for our shared apartment.
Every day between learning about the program and leaving for it, Sean grumbled to me. Why didn't I stay local and look for a job around our college town? Sean had a couple of more semesters left in his grad program so he couldn't move with me. I thought about what it would mean to turn down the program. It would mean missing out on cool travel opportunities and work experience that I wouldn't get if I stayed in College Town, USA. I told Sean that I loved him a lot but I needed to do this.
I had reasons to believe that Sean would still be living in our apartment when my program ended. He told me there were a few organizations that recruited heavily from his grad program and he felt certain he could get a job with one of them after graduation. I left all of our shared furniture and kitchen stuff in our apartment and packed up my personal items like clothes with me. My program paid for my housing and food and Sean decided that he could pay for our one bedroom by himself.
The program was challenging and at times not very fun. On video calls with Sean, he reminded me that I should have just stayed with him in our college town.
The year progressed. Sean finished his program but couldn't find a job in town. The lease of our apartment ended and he decided to pack everything up and move back to his mom's house. She lived two hours away in an area so rural that the house didn't even have a provider for internet.
"Don't worry," Sean told me. "There's room for you here. And I have a Hotspot. It's not great for streaming. But you could do job applications and check emails."
It was nice that Sean told me that. My own mother told me that she rented out my childhood bedroom and that there was no room for me at her place.
Sean got a part time job at a grocery store. He told me that he was looking far and wide for a full time professional job and we could move together wherever that was.
As my program started to come to an end, I also started my own job search. And it wasn't long before I found a full time professional job in my degree area. The experience I had gained in my internship had paid off! But the job was about 500 miles from where Sean lived with his mom in an unknown town.
When I told Sean, I thought he would be happy for me. The New Town was unfamiliar to both of us but it looked like it had plenty of opportunities for Sean.
"You're not going to take it, right?" Sean asked when I told him.
"Actually," I said. "I am."
I explained how I didn't want to live at his mom's house. Sean slept in a twin size bed in a room hardly bigger than a closet. I imagined trying to make that work with the two of us.
"Well," Sean replied. "You can take the job. But I'm not moving with you. And I'm not doing long distance."
I felt devastated. But I imagined what it would feel like to turn down a job doing what I went to school for only to sit unemployed at my boyfriend's mom's house all day. The house was small. It had one bathroom. I had to walk through my boyfriend's mom's bedroom to access the kitchen. I felt grateful that it was even an option because otherwise, I might have faced homelessness. But if I had any other choice, I would not be moving there.
"Okay," I told Sean. "I'll think about it."
Later that day, I signed my acceptance paperwork for the job.
Sean was irate.
"You didn't even talk to me about this first," he hissed. I had. He had given me his ultimatum. I understood perfectly.
With my offer letter, I was able to sign for a one bedroom apartment at a brand new complex, one with a giant pool in the middle and a gym. It was an entrance to the middle class that felt too good to be true. Sean and I both hadn't grown up without a lot of money. Actually, that was an understatement. Sean had grown up in abject poverty.
I told Sean that he didn't have to move but if he could help me bring my stuff to my new place, I'd be appreciative. He agreed.
"Woah, this place is very nice," Sean commented when he saw it.
He decided to stay and I felt so happy. I felt so alone in this new town and Sean felt like warmth and home, even with the ugly ultimatum he had given me.
Within a month, Sean found a job in his degree field in New Town.
And I wish this was the end of the story. That Sean apologized to me for discouraging me from doing the internship program or taking the job. That he told me that my hard work had paid off.
No. Instead, Sean complained to me and constantly compared New Town to College Town. In College Town, we lived in a bar district and could walk to go get a drink. In New Town, we had to drive to get to a bar. Sean hated that we had to limit ourselves so that we could drive home. On Saturday nights, he reminded me that in College Town, we would be at a house party.
Sean missed College Town so much that I suggested we both look for jobs there. With some more work experience, we might be better candidates than when we were fresh from school. I found a job first and told Sean that if he would like to break the lease and move with me, I'd make enough to support both of us while he looked for a job. Sean told me that he didn't want to be my dependent and that he would prefer to stay in our current place in the town he hated rather than be unemployed.
Of course, I understood this. I was just glad that he didn't insist I give up my job opportunity back in College Town.
It took Sean another two months to find a job in College Town. I thought his homecoming would be jubilant. But he was sad and bitter. A lot of our college friends had moved from the area in the two years we had lived in New Town. We also didn't want to live near the university because of the noise and higher crime rate. Instead, we opted to live about 15 minutes away from the students and the bar district that served them.
Our move back to College Town felt very similar as our move to New Town. We didn't know that many people. Our part of town was unfamiliar. We still weren't going to house parties every Saturday night like we were when we were students. And Sean was even more bitter.
I'm not sure what actions we could have taken to have made Sean happy. But I know that the two of us fought about the move to New Town often. In fact, six years after the move down and four years after the move back up, we had one more final blowout fight about it. And that was the end of the relationship. I remember Sean's ultimatum. And it feels funny to know that he was sort correct. Taking the job was the beginning of the end of our relationship. Even if the break up took years to brew. It was me that ended it. I couldn't live with his constant resentment anymore.
And I think often about what would have happened if Sean had gotten his way. Would I be a manager at the grocery store in his mom's rural town sharing a twin size bed?

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My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We're pregnant with both of our first. We've always wanted to get married but aren't big showy people and don't really care for a wedding and don't have a set timeframe or anything. At some point we figured we'd just have a party. Is there any benefit to being married prior to the birth of our kid? I've read some places that it's difficult to get the birth certificate sorted with dad if we're not married but I can't see how that would be true? Would this affect anything with him making medical decisions in my absence? Or say something went severely wrong during birth would he be able to make decisions on my behalf?
Any insight would be great, I don't know much about what changes when you're legally married

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The Life Weave:

• All living creatures possess a collection of energies referred to as "the Life Weave."
• The Life Weave corresponds to three things: The size of a creature's body, their general health, and the amount of echoes of creation (mana) they have innately stored inside of themselves.
  • Adult man has more than a child which has more than a dog.
  • Someone born healthy has a larger Life Weave than someone born sickly.
  • Someone suffering from a chronic or terminal illness have suffer a reduction in the size of their Life Weave
  • A person's Life Weave gains potency with the more [echoes they have stored within themselves.
• Esharans have slightly more on average than humans.

Abilities:

• Lifeweavers have the ability to draw upon one of their senses, physical, or mental attributes so that they may boost the power of another.
• Lifeweavers can consciously maintain their life force, slowing the aging process.
• Lifeweavers can focus on and enhance their body's processes, i.e. natural healing, getting over normal sickness/hangover, passing poison, etc.
• Roughly one in every three Lifeweavers are strong enough to manipulate the weave of others, allowing them to perform healing arts.
  • Manipulating another creature's Life Weave is the one exception to the "minimal echoes" rule. The more extreme the process, the more energy is required.
  • Healing a minor scrape may require only a little bit more, but working for hours to clean and repair a severed limb may take multiple whole vials of refined echoes
  • The speed in which a wound may be healed is also relative to the formation of the subject's weave pattern. A bolstered weave will heal faster.
  • It is impossible to regrow body parts once severed, but it is possible to reattach them or to repair injured organs provided they are mostly intact.
• Lifeweavers with the ability to manipulate the weave of others can also "snip" the threads of any being and give them to another. Whether stealing from another to bolster themselves or sacrificing a piece of themselves, the effect is never temporary.
  • It is impossible to take back a thread that you have given to someone without snipping it out again, which means that snipping your own weave to give to someone else is an irreversible process.
  • This ability is considered taboo and forbidden, though it has also allowed for miracles where a Lifeweaver was able to sacrifice a piece of themselves to pull someone else back from the brink of death.

Cost:

• Manipulating your own weave costs a baseline of echoes to perform, roughly only 1/5th of a small vial of refined echoes.
• Manipulating the weave of another requires a greater baseline of echoes, roughly double the baseline for yourself. The more extreme the alteration and the more drawn out the process, the greater the requirement to sustain the process.
• Pushing oneself too hard can be dangerous and result in damage.
  • Exerting a bolstered aspect too much or too often results in it's subsequent bolstering to be less effective. They will need to divert more to that aspect to receive a similar result.
  • Prolonged absence of a pattern will begin to damage that aspect. Someone who uses their hearing too often may start to go deaf, or someone who sacrifices their physical strength to boost their mental acuity may begin to find their bodies withering away from atrophy.
• These costs are all in addition to the general cost of depleting one's own echoes without replenishing them.
• Symptoms such as increased risk of disease, mental illness, and psychosis can compound their effects when someone is without a particular corresponding thread.

Example Combinations:

• **Sacrifice Touch, Bolster Strength:** Numb the body to gain immense physical power.
• **Sacrifice Hearing, Bolster Sight:** Deafen oneself to gain superhuman vision.
• **Sacrifice Strength, Bolster Mental Acuity:** Weaken the muscles to enhance cognitive abilities.
• **Sacrifice Endurance, Bolster Reflexes:** Reduce stamina to heighten quickness in reactions.
• **Sacrifice Dexterity, Bolster Speed:** Sacrifice fine motor skills to enhance physical speed.

Individual aspects of one's mental acuity may be manipulated in order to bolster others:

• **Sacrifice Balance, Bolster Creativity:** Compromise equilibrium to unlock higher creative potential/ability to think outside the box.
• **Sacrifice Empathy, Bolster Critical thinking:** Reduce emotional sensitivity to be able to think more critically and clearly.

A person's sense of touch is far more important than their empathy, so sacrificing touch would lead to a far greater boost in their physical strength than a minor aspect of their mental acuity would. Likewise, someone could give up all of their physical strength to bolster their intelligence and critical thinking in order to become a super genius, though this would come with extreme consequences if implemented for prolonged use.

An excerpt from "[[The Great Chronicle]]," culmination of [[Proprietor Yeoz]]' life work. Published on the 1st day of the 1st month, 357 AA.

When the first form of Adon rained down from the heavens, so too came the power over living creation. Without Adon's touch, all would be lifeless and devoid of meaning. It is known that all living things have within themselves a network of energies that bestow upon them animation. The network of life-giving substances flow throughout the body and enable one to act, though for most it is not an active process. Throughout my work I shall refer to these energies as a weave, as they have been described first hand to myself, to be as a tapestry of one's life. To manipulate the weave is comparable to reknitting fabric.
For those blessed by His touch, this weave of energies is an ethereal wonder made manifest. It has been noted by many trained and untrained Inheritors that the weave is something known or felt, rather than explicitly seen. It is the opinion of some scholars, myself included, that this weave is a complex network of pathways throughout the body through which one's lifeblood is carried. A curious exception to this (and the basis of many arguments to the contrary) is that certain plants seem to poses the weave as well, despite not subsisting on the lifeblood. While the weave is unseen, it is entirely real and possesses all living and animate creatures that traverse this mortal realm. These Inheritors are commonly referred to as "Lifeweavers," though various cultures may have their own names and misguided origins for the practice.
The abilities of any such Inheritor vary from person to person and seem to be limited only by one's aptitude, imagination, and whatever threads they may know. Compared to other manifestations of Adon, the practice of manipulating the weave of life energies does not depend on the quantity of echoes called upon; The same quantity is needed regardless of task, only enough to "grasp the weave" as it is called. Once one has grasped the weave, they are limited only to the amount of material they have on hand. Just as the other manifestations, whatever echoes used in the process are released in the same manner.
One may bundle the weaves together to localize and enhance their output, allowing for supernatural feats. A particular threading of the weave may cause a single man to gain the strength of ten, or another allow one to hear even the heartbeats of a bird a hundred meters away. These boons come at a cost, however. One's body has a finite resource of weave and to reinforce one pattern is to borrow from another. Extreme exertion of the reinforced thread may cause one's being to become increasingly reliant on its elevated status while the borrowed pattern may begin to suffer atrophy. In layman's terms, not only will one's increased strength lose its potency, but too much use of a certain pattern will cause the user to begin to lose it altogether. In addition to the rethreading of patterns, the functions of the body can be altered as well in order to reduce aging or speed up the natural healing process.
Common threads that are recognized by most Lifeweavers are as follows: touch, hearing, sight, taste, smell, physical strength, speed, agility, endurance, and mental acuity. 'Mental acuity' serves as an umbrella category for the cognitive functions of one's mind including their capacity for memory, their reactiveness and clarity, their personal empathy and charisma, among others.
While considered taboo by some cultures, many Lifeweavers possess the ability to manipulate the weaves of other creatures as well. While the process is time consuming and stressful, this ability is what lead to the discovery of the healing arts. Unfortunately, complex rethreadment which could result in the restoration of hearing within the deaf or sight within the blind requires the most adept among all Lifeweavers and is an extremely rare gift.
As with many gifts, there are those who may abuse it. While they have been outlawed and declared forbidden by most civilized peoples, there are those who have been known to manipulate the weave on less than willing subjects. I will not document these processes in detail for fear of propagating the practice, but I will note the unfortunate practice of 'snipping,' wherein one may tear away the threads of another living being to temporarily boost their own. While it is fleeting, this process is the only known way to circumnavigate any personal cost associated with altering a weave.

The Life Weave:

• All living creatures possess a collection of energies referred to as "the Life Weave."
• The Life Weave corresponds to three things: The size of a creature's body, their general health, and the amount of echoes of creation (mana) they have innately stored inside of themselves.
  • Adult man has more than a child which has more than a dog.
  • Someone born healthy has a larger Life Weave than someone born sickly.
  • Someone suffering from a chronic or terminal illness have suffer a reduction in the size of their Life Weave
  • A person's Life Weave gains potency with the more [echoes they have stored within themselves.
• Esharans have slightly more on average than humans.

Abilities:

• Lifeweavers have the ability to draw upon one of their senses, physical, or mental attributes so that they may boost the power of another.
• Lifeweavers can consciously maintain their life force, slowing the aging process.
• Lifeweavers can focus on and enhance their body's processes, i.e. natural healing, getting over normal sickness/hangover, passing poison, etc.
• Roughly one in every three Lifeweavers are strong enough to manipulate the weave of others, allowing them to perform healing arts.
  • Manipulating another creature's Life Weave is the one exception to the "minimal echoes" rule. The more extreme the process, the more energy is required.
  • Healing a minor scrape may require only a little bit more, but working for hours to clean and repair a severed limb may take multiple whole vials of refined echoes
  • The speed in which a wound may be healed is also relative to the formation of the subject's weave pattern. A bolstered weave will heal faster.
  • It is impossible to regrow body parts once severed, but it is possible to reattach them or to repair injured organs provided they are mostly intact.
• Lifeweavers with the ability to manipulate the weave of others can also "snip" the threads of any being and give them to another. Whether stealing from another to bolster themselves or sacrificing a piece of themselves, the effect is never temporary.
  • It is impossible to take back a thread that you have given to someone without snipping it out again, which means that snipping your own weave to give to someone else is an irreversible process.
  • This ability is considered taboo and forbidden, though it has also allowed for miracles where a Lifeweaver was able to sacrifice a piece of themselves to pull someone else back from the brink of death.

Cost:

• Manipulating your own weave costs a baseline of echoes to perform, roughly only 1/5th of a small vial of refined echoes.
• Manipulating the weave of another requires a greater baseline of echoes, roughly double the baseline for yourself. The more extreme the alteration and the more drawn out the process, the greater the requirement to sustain the process.
• Pushing oneself too hard can be dangerous and result in damage.
  • Exerting a bolstered aspect too much or too often results in it's subsequent bolstering to be less effective. They will need to divert more to that aspect to receive a similar result.
  • Prolonged absence of a pattern will begin to damage that aspect. Someone who uses their hearing too often may start to go deaf, or someone who sacrifices their physical strength to boost their mental acuity may begin to find their bodies withering away from atrophy.
• These costs are all in addition to the general cost of depleting one's own echoes without replenishing them.
• Symptoms such as increased risk of disease, mental illness, and psychosis can compound their effects when someone is without a particular corresponding thread.

Example Combinations:

• **Sacrifice Touch, Bolster Strength:** Numb the body to gain immense physical power.
• **Sacrifice Hearing, Bolster Sight:** Deafen oneself to gain superhuman vision.
• **Sacrifice Strength, Bolster Mental Acuity:** Weaken the muscles to enhance cognitive abilities.
• **Sacrifice Endurance, Bolster Reflexes:** Reduce stamina to heighten quickness in reactions.
• **Sacrifice Dexterity, Bolster Speed:** Sacrifice fine motor skills to enhance physical speed.

Individual aspects of one's mental acuity may be manipulated in order to bolster others:

• **Sacrifice Balance, Bolster Creativity:** Compromise equilibrium to unlock higher creative potential/ability to think outside the box.
• **Sacrifice Empathy, Bolster Critical thinking:** Reduce emotional sensitivity to be able to think more critically and clearly.

A person's sense of touch is far more important than their empathy, so sacrificing touch would lead to a far greater boost in their physical strength than a minor aspect of their mental acuity would. Likewise, someone could give up all of their physical strength to bolster their intelligence and critical thinking in order to become a super genius, though this would come with extreme consequences if implemented for prolonged use.

An excerpt from "[[The Great Chronicle]]," culmination of [[Proprietor Yeoz]]' life work. Published on the 1st day of the 1st month, 357 AA.

When the first form of Adon rained down from the heavens, so too came the power over living creation. Without Adon's touch, all would be lifeless and devoid of meaning. It is known that all living things have within themselves a network of energies that bestow upon them animation. The network of life-giving substances flow throughout the body and enable one to act, though for most it is not an active process. Throughout my work I shall refer to these energies as a weave, as they have been described first hand to myself, to be as a tapestry of one's life. To manipulate the weave is comparable to reknitting fabric.
For those blessed by His touch, this weave of energies is an ethereal wonder made manifest. It has been noted by many trained and untrained Inheritors that the weave is something known or felt, rather than explicitly seen. It is the opinion of some scholars, myself included, that this weave is a complex network of pathways throughout the body through which one's lifeblood is carried. A curious exception to this (and the basis of many arguments to the contrary) is that certain plants seem to poses the weave as well, despite not subsisting on the lifeblood. While the weave is unseen, it is entirely real and possesses all living and animate creatures that traverse this mortal realm. These Inheritors are commonly referred to as "Lifeweavers," though various cultures may have their own names and misguided origins for the practice.
The abilities of any such Inheritor vary from person to person and seem to be limited only by one's aptitude, imagination, and whatever threads they may know. Compared to other manifestations of Adon, the practice of manipulating the weave of life energies does not depend on the quantity of echoes called upon; The same quantity is needed regardless of task, only enough to "grasp the weave" as it is called. Once one has grasped the weave, they are limited only to the amount of material they have on hand. Just as the other manifestations, whatever echoes used in the process are released in the same manner.
One may bundle the weaves together to localize and enhance their output, allowing for supernatural feats. A particular threading of the weave may cause a single man to gain the strength of ten, or another allow one to hear even the heartbeats of a bird a hundred meters away. These boons come at a cost, however. One's body has a finite resource of weave and to reinforce one pattern is to borrow from another. Extreme exertion of the reinforced thread may cause one's being to become increasingly reliant on its elevated status while the borrowed pattern may begin to suffer atrophy. In layman's terms, not only will one's increased strength lose its potency, but too much use of a certain pattern will cause the user to begin to lose it altogether. In addition to the rethreading of patterns, the functions of the body can be altered as well in order to reduce aging or speed up the natural healing process.
Common threads that are recognized by most Lifeweavers are as follows: touch, hearing, sight, taste, smell, physical strength, speed, agility, endurance, and mental acuity. 'Mental acuity' serves as an umbrella category for the cognitive functions of one's mind including their capacity for memory, their reactiveness and clarity, their personal empathy and charisma, among others.
While considered taboo by some cultures, many Lifeweavers possess the ability to manipulate the weaves of other creatures as well. While the process is time consuming and stressful, this ability is what lead to the discovery of the healing arts. Unfortunately, complex rethreadment which could result in the restoration of hearing within the deaf or sight within the blind requires the most adept among all Lifeweavers and is an extremely rare gift.
As with many gifts, there are those who may abuse it. While they have been outlawed and declared forbidden by most civilized peoples, there are those who have been known to manipulate the weave on less than willing subjects. I will not document these processes in detail for fear of propagating the practice, but I will note the unfortunate practice of 'snipping,' wherein one may tear away the threads of another living being to temporarily boost their own. While it is fleeting, this process is the only known way to circumnavigate any personal cost associated with altering a weave.

I’ve (26M) struggled with depression and some suicidal ideation on and off since I was 16. It was a long road and took a lot of work on myself and countless hours of therapy, but around the end of 2023, I was in what I now consider to be the peak of my life. I was working a job I mostly liked, two semesters away from finishing my bachelor’s degree online and exercising almost every other day. After years of loneliness, I finally found a friend group I really adored spending time with, and I had a boyfriend with whom I hadn’t even realized I had fallen in love, whom I’d seen for about 6 months. For perhaps the first time, I had a generally positive outlook, I felt confident and attractive, and I had so much going for me. I had no clue that I was about to make a decision that would significantly alter that course and steer me off into the deepest, darkest depression and most relentless desire to end it all that I’ve ever felt. This is a very long and personal post about my decision to have surgery that I now, in hindsight, believe to have been unnecessary. The surgery itself has left me with chronic pain and probably lifelong negative consequences that are far worse than anything I ever experienced prior. I’ve kept most of this to myself other than sharing it with my therapist, and although I’m on the ledge, I think writing it all down and putting it out there may calm me somewhat. I haven’t spared some graphic details of some of the more sensitive changes to my body because I want this to be as detailed and accurate as possible. And anyway, why should I care? I may be dead soon anyway... My hope is that if I share my story, someone, somewhere, might benefit from it and might not make the same mistake I did that has me sincerely wanting to off myself. So here it goes.
Around NovembeDecember 2023, I started experiencing some strange stabbing pain in my upper right abdomen that would come on suddenly and then go away for no obvious reason. I also thought I saw trace amounts of blood in my stool, and this concerned me enough that I reached out to my primary care doctor at the beginning of January. My doctor is always booked for months, so they told me to go to the emergency room. The ER was packed, and I ended up sitting in the waiting room for about eight hours in between going for an ultrasound and a CT scan. I was getting very tired of waiting and was about ready to give up and leave as I had to work early in the morning the next day. Looking back, I wish I had left. Just before I was about to leave, they called me back and told me that they found something on the CT scan called an intussusception in my small bowel. This is a condition where the intestine gets caught on a “lead point” and folds in on itself, sort of like a telescope. It is most often found in infants and is very rarely found in people my age, yet I was told it is a medical emergency because the tissue of my bowel could die if left untreated, and/or the lead point could be a potentially cancerous tumor. They admitted me and told me they would scan me again in the morning because, despite the severity, there was a chance it could resolve. Hearing that I would be staying overnight shocked me, as I had never been hospitalized before, having always been in good physical health. I have never had digestive issues in the past, I’ve never been diagnosed with Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis or anything of the sort, and I had never heard of this condition, but every medical professional I spoke to seemed very concerned that I had it. They didn’t have a bed for me in the hospital at that point, so I had to sleep in the packed and quite chaotic ER. About an hour after I was given a bed, a man was admitted a few feet from me who was very aggressive with all of the nurses, screaming and cursing at them throughout the night. I was not allowed to eat or drink, given the possibility of surgery. I struggled to get any sleep in that environment and woke up the next morning feeling very lethargic.
The surgeon and resident came by my bed and we spoke briefly. The surgeon explained that while the condition was serious, if it continued to show up in my CT scans, they could do minimally invasive laparoscopic surgery to resect the piece of my bowel that was telescoped and stitch it back together. I feel they really downplayed the severity of this procedure. I will never forget them saying, “It’s such a small piece of your bowel, you won’t miss it.” They felt that since I was young and otherwise healthy, I should have no problem making a full recovery. I felt confident in the fact that I was speaking to the chief of surgery at the hospital, who has more than twenty years of experience in the field. Then they brought me for my second scan, and within a few hours I was told the intussusception had not resolved. I was admitted to a hospital room, and the resident came to discuss moving forward with the surgery. My first impulse was “absolutely not,” but I quickly second-guessed myself. Everything I saw in the limited research I was able to do on my phone stated that this was indeed a serious condition that warranted surgery. In that moment, it seemed like the reasons not to go through with it were somewhat vain, such as not wanting the scars and having to forgo lifting weights at the gym for some time. Though it didn’t quite make sense to me that they wanted to operate on the complete opposite side of my body from the one that was in pain and which brought me into the ER in the first place. When I asked the resident about this, he responded, “We don’t understand how referred pain works,” Okay, fair enough, I thought. More than anything, I thought that if a doctor was in front of me, telling me what was going on with my body was an emergency situation that warranted immediate surgery, I should probably listen to them. They’re the “experts,” after all. And given the state I was in, having been in the hospital for over 24 hours at that point, running on very little sleep and nothing to eat, I don’t think I really had the capacity to fully parse what was going on, but given the doctors level of concern, it seemed like I urgently had to make a decision. After about an hour of talking it over with my mother, even though I never had any pain in the area they were about to operate on, I signed the consent papers. (Biggest fucking mistake of my life) I remember they listed risks of things that could go wrong during or shortly after the surgery, such as infection, bowel perforation, etc. They did not mention the procedure’s possible long-term consequences, and neither the surgeon nor resident ever mentioned possible long-term complications, and I didn’t think to ask. I had no experience with this kind of thing whatsoever; I am not a doctor, I don’t know any doctors, and no one I know has ever had abdominal surgery… I was so naive to trust these people, but I did. In fact, I trusted them so much that I was not terribly scared of the procedure I was about to undergo. Again, I chalk that up to the reduced mental capacity I was in, given a tough overnight stay in the ER. I remember the adrenaline rush as I was wheeled down to the operating room. I was singing one of my favorite songs in my head, hyping myself up for the procedure ahead of me. The last thing I remember was one of the OR nurses telling my mother not to worry, that the surgeon was “the best,” and that they had even operated on her husband.
I woke up high as a kite. I heard one of the nurses say I had been given fentanyl, which I remember freaked me out; I had forgotten it is more than a street drug and actually has legitimate uses. The procedure had gone fine, and I was discharged only a day or two later, with my only guidance upon discharge being not to lift heavy objects and “take it easy,” I was in some pain, but it was to be expected at that point and was well controlled by combining Tylenol and Advil. The surgeon called later that week to inform me that the pathology report had come back and that the lead point was simply “some swollen lymph nodes,” I was relieved to hear that it was not cancer. At my follow-up appointment two weeks later, I reported feeling pretty much fine. I had been granted medical leave and short-term disability from my job for six weeks following the surgery. This was the full length of time after which the surgeons expected I would recover fully. I used the time off to hang out with friends and my boyfriend and to focus on finishing what would have been my final semester of school. Those were the last few weeks that I felt somewhat normal despite what I had just gone through. I had no idea what was about to come.
About 5 weeks post-op is when I first began experiencing worse pain deep in my abdomen, right where I had the surgery, plus the pain in my upper right abdomen had not gone away. This new pain is crampy, yet sometimes stabbing, and had seemed to worsen with activity; I have experienced it every single day, nearly every hour, to varying degrees, since the beginning of February. That was also when I began regularly bloating and having difficulty going to the bathroom. No matter how hard I try to push, I can’t fully evacuate my bowels. (This is a nightmare for someone who has receptive anal sex like I used to do regularly. It is now impossible). With the emergence of all these symptoms, I felt very, very scared that there was something else wrong with me. And, of course, this all happened in the week when I was set to return to work. I have a physically demanding customer service job, and I was in so much pain that I found it impossible to be nice to the customers or even stand, so I left and, thankfully, was allowed to take the rest of the week off to figure things out. I obviously called my surgeon, but it also prompted me to do deeper research into the complications that can develop following abdominal surgery. I began pouring over medical journals, trying to figure out what was going on in my body on my own. That was when I first learned about “surgical adhesions.” These are fibrous bands of scar tissue that can develop due to the incisions made during surgery and handling of the bowel. As your body heals from the trauma of surgery, this scar tissue forms and can cause your intestine to stick to other organs or structures in your body. According to medical literature, they form in 90% of all patients who undergo abdominal surgery, but not all adhesions cause complications like what I’ve experienced. They are not easy to diagnose as they are impossible to visualize on any imaging tests, they do not go away on their own (it’s scar tissue), and the only treatment is surgically cutting them apart, which is risky, given that there’s a strong chance they will just grow back and possibly be even worse. This was obviously terrifying to me, but when I asked the surgeon about this, they said, “There’s very little chance that’s what’s happening,” given that the procedure was laparoscopic, not open. I scheduled another appointment with them, wherein they seemed quite dismissive of my concerns. They said the pain was likely “incisional” (it wasn’t and isn’t) but that they would order another CT scan so we could see what was going on. They also wrote me a script for gabapentin, an anticonvulsant meant to prevent seizures that is used off-label to treat pain and anxiety, with the qualifier that they would not write a script for anything stronger, basically implying that I was seeking narcotics, which was not at all the case, and which I found extremely offensive.
My next CT scan was scheduled about a month following that appointment in early March. In the interim, I began taking the gabapentin. I used more than I was prescribed because it was the only way I was able to control the pain and allow myself to feel comfortable at work. I didn’t anticipate the changes it would cause to my mood and behavior. In addition to feeling depressed and scared, I was also becoming easily emotionally dysregulated in ways I believe I would have been able to control prior to taking the medication. But when I didn’t take it, I was in pretty bad pain almost all the time, and I didn’t understand why at that point. My boyfriend noticed these changes in my mood and decided he needed space from me to protect his emotional wellbeing. I didn’t blame him then, and I still don’t, but I miss him terribly. We were supposed to remain “friends,” and he at least pretended he wanted that for a bit of time. At that point, I became determined to ween myself off the gabapentin and continue to work on improving my mental and physical health, for myself, but also for him; as I said, I really loved him. Later that week, after we split, I had my CT scan, and the surgeon called to tell me that it looked like I was just constipated. They advised me to take Miralax daily to ease that constipation, which should hopefully make me feel better. To me, this seemed like a huge relief. I started taking the Miralax, and at that point, I started exercising and lifting weights again. I also started trying to bulk up again, which had been an important part of my fitness journey prior to the surgery.
So April rolls around, and I am still trying my best to resume my normal life, which felt possible again at that point. I did end up successfully weening myself off gabapentin. With this newfound reinvigoration, I attempted to get my boyfriend back. We would make plans, but then he would reschedule again and again. Eventually, he kept our plans, and we met up for a talk in the park. We obviously had a lot to talk about in our relationship, at which point he told me that he simply was not attracted to me anymore. This was devastating news, as that was the first time I realized it was really over. Before I had thought that if I could show him how much I was trying to get back to the place I was before the surgery, he would stick around, but that was the moment I realized it was impossible for him to see me in the light he once did. Nevertheless, I tried to push on, kept going to the gym, and kept trying to get my life back. I was still seeing my friends regularly, and I was able to push myself to get through work, even though it was painful and hard. Plus, I was still working on my degree despite not feeling able to give it my best effort and focus with everything going on. I was still motivated to keep going, and I thought things might improve from there.
Well, lo and behold, they did not. One day in early April, I was sitting on the couch, sort of mindlessly snacking on some almonds before I was set to go have drinks with friends and see a concert. Immediately afterward, I felt that pain again in my abdomen. Despite that, I was really excited to see my friends and see the show. We met at a bar, where I had three cocktails before we made our way to the venue. I drank one or two more while the opener played. But by the time the headliner came on, I ended up in so much pain that I told my friends quite regrettably that I had to leave. I walked home and ate a small snack, wrongfully thinking it might make me feel better, before popping a melatonin and heading to bed. I woke up around 2 AM in the most intense pain I have experienced both before and after the surgery. I was extremely bloated and unable to pass gas or move my bowels. I had read somewhere that this was a sign of bowel obstruction and that I needed to seek medical attention. I made the decision to go to the ER. I walked down the stairs to leave, and as I did, I felt myself begin to vomit. Thankfully I was able to make it to the sink as I puked up what I imagine was that snack I’d had before bed. Shortly after, I arrived at the ER, this time choosing a different facility from the one where the surgeon had dismissed all of my post-surgical concerns. I was quickly admitted and given another CT scan. They confirmed my bowel was obstructed and told me they would place a tube into my nose down to my stomach to try to pump some of the blockage out. I asked the ER doctor if I was going to need to have surgery, to which he replied, “It’s a strong possibility.” This was horrifying to me. Getting the tube inserted into my nose was so painful, and I was screaming in agony the entire time. Then they gave me morphine, and I passed out. The details and timeline of that hospital stay are somewhat hazy in my mind, but I ended up being there for four days, over which I was given a “gastro graph challenge” test, wherein I was instructed to drink a contrast element which would be visualized by a series of Xrays so the doctors could monitor if anything was passing through my intestines. I met with another surgeon, whom I found to be much more attentive than my prior one, or at least simply possessing superior active listening skills. In fact, I felt that all of the staff at this second hospital were a lot more sensitive to my needs than the first. I really wish I had gone there the first time, as it’s the best hospital in the city. Add that to my long list of mistakes… Anyway.
Despite her more positive demeanor, she recommended another emergency surgery, this time a laparotomy (open) surgery to resect my bowel a second time. Her hypothesis was that the anastomosis (the medical term for the connection formed between my bowel loops during the first surgery) could be too narrow to allow food to pass through properly. I asked this new surgeon if it was possible I had adhesions causing this problem, and unlike the last one, she said, “It’s possible,” especially given that these symptoms began emerging a few weeks after the first surgery. But, like I said, they don’t really know what’s going on until they cut you open and go in there. Given that I am now much more aware of the risks of surgery and the risks of having a second procedure, I was fervently against going under the knife again. I simply couldn’t handle it. So I opted for conservative management, which meant waiting it out, taking an enema, and eventually getting back on a liquid and then solid diet. Thankfully, sitting in the hospital being NPO (Latin for nil per os - “nothing by mouth”) and taking the gastro graph made it pass eventually, and I didn’t have to have a second surgery. I was discharged from the hospital with instructions to schedule another diagnostic test called a “small bowel series,” in which they use xrays to track the amount of time it takes liquid to pass through your digestive system and to start a “low residue” diet- meaning eating very little fiber. Suddenly gone from my diet are all of the fruits and vegetables I once loved, and I can’t eat nuts or seeds (It seems to me that those almonds caused the obstruction in the first place). Basically, I’m now forced to exist on a diet of the most processed foods imaginable because although they are demonstrably unhealthy, that is all that my body is now able to safely digest.
After leaving that second hospital stay, I proceeded to delve even further into research about not only long-term abdominal surgery complications such as adhesions but also the nature of adult intussusceptions in general. I once again started furiously googling, finding results from medical journals and personal accounts from Reddit. I came to the conclusion that intussusceptions in adults, while ostensibly serious, have a strong possibility of resolving on their own, especially when they present in the small bowel, in the absence of vomiting (I never vomited before going to the hospital in January), when there is no obvious lead point (they couldn’t see it on my scans) and there is no obstruction (I was never obstructed before the surgery). Furthermore, while intussusception does present with blood in the stool, it is usually described as “currant jelly stool” (something I don’t recommend you google because it looks atrocious), which is not even close to the trace amounts of blood I saw in my own stool. (But no one ever asked, so how would I know the difference?) I never experienced any pain whatsoever in the area of my small bowel before the surgery. And yet I was told by a doctor that I was experiencing a medical emergency, which might have been caused by some malignant growth, which scared the shit out of me and made me feel at the time that immediate action was necessary. At one point, I even found a paper that attributed intussusception to cannabis use, which I had engaged in that week. In these papers, the authors highlight that these intussusceptions were transient and did not require surgical intervention. And on the point of adhesions, they are not easily diagnosed, and they are not easily treatable without surgical intervention; and said intervention is a cache 22 scenario because every time you get cut open, you risk growing back even more adhesions.
With all of this knowledge, I became absolutely distraught. I was never informed that by having this procedure performed, I would be at this increased risk of experiencing bowel obstruction. Like most people, I literally had no idea what an “adhesion” even was. What made me lose hope the most was that it seems as if doctors do these surgeries and simply ignore adhesion as a consequence because they don’t have any feasible way to prevent it or treat it without potentially creating more adhesion. So, although I was released from the hospital having avoided a second surgery, I felt more lost and hopeless than ever. I simply couldn’t cope with the realization that this would be something I would deal with for the rest of my life, something I could’ve avoided had I never agreed to get the first surgery because although I had that original pain I mentioned earlier- which has still continued to this day, it wasn’t and isn’t anything close to how excruciating the obstruction was, and it wasn’t really disrupting my life in the way the post-surgical pain has. But under the guidance of doctors, I opted to permanently alter my body, and there’s no going back. I feel so incredibly stupid for being deceived by these “medical professionals” who didn’t take the time to understand what was actually going on with me and chose to take an overly aggressive course of action that has left me permanently altered, in pain, and completely diminished my quality of life.
That week after leaving the hospital was truly the most suicidal I have ever felt. As I mentioned, I’ve dealt with suicidal ideation on and off since my adolescence. I’ve always had latent thoughts about wanting to die, wanting to escape, feeling like I’m hopeless and there’s no use trying to better myself. But this time, the desire to end my life was so much more intense. I became extremely disassociated from everything in life. In that week following my second hospitalization, there was absolutely nothing that could bring me joy. Before the surgery, I used to find deep pleasure in simply walking around my neighborhood for at least an hour every day. But I couldn’t do it anymore because walking gives me time to think, and thinking is too painful. It always leads back to the realization of the way I am now. Nothing could make me smile or laugh. I couldn’t even listen to music, one of my favorite things in the world. I became completely devoid of all emotions as my research transitioned away from my various new ailments and into ways I could end my life.
The rest of April and May passed by in a blur. Over that time, I’ve had two more appointments with the surgeons I met at the second hospital, a small bowel study (a more in-depth series of x-rays tracking the transit time of liquid through the GI tract), and a colonoscopy and endoscopy. Those have not yielded any significant findings as to what is going on, making me believe even more that all of these problems are being caused by adhesions. However, the small bowel study did reveal that my stomach is slightly herniated, which I believe is the cause of the original pain that I sought care for in the first place. At my last appointment, I was told to see a “small bowel specialist” GI doctor. But that was three weeks ago, and I haven’t even been able to get an appointment with them. I’m on a waiting list, but I imagine I’m looking at many months before I can get an appointment. I don’t know what they’re going to do for me. I don’t know that there’s anything that can be done besides more surgery, and I am very fearful about that. I fear the only way that these fucking doctors who fucked me up in the first place are going to even try to help me is if I’m obstructed again. But the changes to my diet, as much as I hate them, have kept me in a more manageable amount of pain and out of the hospital for now.
It is now June, and I am shocked that I am still here and confused about what to do now. Despite the diet, I still feel pain and discomfort at some point in the day, every single day. I think about wanting this all to end all of the time. I have not attempted again, though I did pick up another nitrogen tank, and I’ve also stockpiled a 90 day supply of my antidepressant, so at least I have the option. I am drinking two bottles of wine or half a bottle of vodka nearly every night. Alcohol is the only thing that seems to quiet my thoughts enough to get through each evening. I am sitting here in a cycle where I think about doing it, but I still feel obligated to go to work, to see my friends, and to feed my cat. My life has continued, but I don’t feel like I’m living anymore; I merely exist. I feel extremely unattractive because although I look the same as I did on the outside, I’m overcome with never ending emotional pain and turmoil on the inside. I am now unable to take care of myself and be on top of my life the way I used to be. After the second hospitalization, I dropped out of school and have no plans to continue, as I won’t need a bachelor’s degree when I’m dead. I have stopped exercising altogether, as it feels like there’s no point in trying to improve or take care of a body that has been permanently broken. Through all of this, I’ve lost much of my confidence and I feel I have completely lost my identity. I miss that old me so much. I miss my boyfriend so much. Plans with my friends are sometimes the only thing that keeps me going, and I am extremely grateful for them, but despite their continued presence, I feel extremely isolated and lonely. It’s hard to explain what I’ve been through to people without the context of all that has happened. I don’t have the energy to share it with them. And I feel if I speak about what I’m going through, I will feel like a burden, killing the vibe, and I don’t want that.
I have never felt this alienated from my body and from everything in life. I cannot cope with the fact that things will never be how they were before. I feel so incredibly distraught that I threw away what was shaping up to be the best days of my life. There’s nothing I or anyone else can do to change what has happened to me. It took me such a long time to get to the place I was in before the surgery. It was a brief and beautiful couple of months, but it’s over, and there’s no way for me to return. Even if there was, I don’t have that much of a fight left in me. I feel like such a fucking idiot for allowing the doctors to do this to me. I look around at all the happy people around me and know that I am dragging them down with my depression. I am tired of feeling helpless and like a burden on everyone I love. I am a shell of the person I once was. Ending it all is the singular thing that’s in my control. It is the only way to end all of this pain and suffering and stop the concern and confusion of my loved ones. I know that my exit will be painful to them, but they will all get over it in time. But me? I don’t think I will ever get over this. I will never be able to accept this horrible choice that I made. I am so tired of living this way. I am supposed to turn 27 soon, but I really don’t want to live to see my birthday. I have nothing to celebrate. My life is completely, irreversibly fucked. I don’t know when I will go, but it will be sooner rather than later. I am so sorry to everyone. I know this will hurt. I just can’t go on living this way. To all the people I care about, know that I love you, and I am so thankful you were part of my life. I know you will all go on to do great things without me. This entire saga has been unbearable; my life has spun out of control, and suicide is the only way to end my suffering. I’m sorry. I’m signing off.
TL;DR: Doctors performed a surgery I now think was unnecessary and the complications make me want to kill myself.

Let's now delve into Abby's perspective.
Abby's equivalent of the Wyoming Museum is her scenes in the aquarium. I find the choice of this particular ocean biome interesting. Throughout her journey in Seattle, Abby gradually distances herself from the WLF. The aquarium serves as a clandestine refuge where Abby and Owen seek solace away from their WLF responsibilities, a sanctuary amidst the chaos of the city. The ocean represents a hidden world, a sanctuary that other surface animals cannot penetrate, symbolizing a refuge from the conflicts and chaos above. Abby's character in Seattle is symbolized by a crab—outwardly strong yet internally vulnerable, much like herself as depicted by Owen's observation that she appears tough but is soft at heart. This symbolism extends to the imagery of a giant crab adorning the doors leading to the tragic fate of Owen and Mel. Upon her return from the island, blood stains beneath the doors. I think this is supposed to represent how by her actions she brought death to her friends, akin to bearing the weight of guilt or "dirty hands." Throughout her narrative, various other depictions of crabs persistently follows Abby.
Abby's Seattle setting is aquatic, but it wasn't always so. Prior to her father's death, her symbolic habitat was the jungle. In her initial flashback in Salt Lake, she stands at the zoo entrance, surrounded by banners portraying jungle and savanna creatures like tigers, elephants, apes, and antelopes. She can also find a flyer of the zoo ad with the tiger on it. In Santa Barbara, when visiting the Firefly outpost, Lev asks why the children's room depicts animals and a forest. Abby explains that it is a thing parents can do and that her father painted her a jungle in her room when she was little. I think deep within, Abby identifies with a tiger, and she actually re-finds herself with Lev's encounter. The tiger represents her true essence, her totem animal, while the crab represents what she turned into in Seattle. The crab, with its hard exterior and soft interior, also mirrors Abby's hardened exterior developed from her experiences with the WLF.
Yet, subtle hints throughout her narrative suggest a rediscovery of her true self as a tiger that coincide with what she's going throught. One instance that really striked me is the big cartoonish tiger she encounters in a cafe on the road to the hospital, sat in a position of meditation, coinciding with her growing bond with Lev. This moment signifies her gradual return to inner peace and authenticity. Another significant occurrence is the depiction of a tiger hidden behind a counter during her escape from the island with Yara and Lev, labeled with "mean streak." This moment precedes a pivotal confrontation with her former allies, symbolizing Abby's re-embrace of her tiger nature—a resurgence of strength and determination as she confronts her past and fights for her newfound family. The reappearance of the tiger symbolizes Abby's journey of self-discovery and resilience, marking her reclaiming of inner strength and ferocity in the face of adversity.
During the Salt Lake flashback, as Abby finds her father and they continue through the park, they enter the aquatic biome, greeted by a crab facing exactly towards the banner depicting a tiger, symbolizing Abby's future transformation in Seattle. She enters the mouth of a whale, symbolizing her immersion into the aquatic world. In the very next flashback, she will exit from the mouth of a shark, marking her transformation complete.
Owen is symbolized by a spotted seal. The first time they ever entered the aquarium, Owen get out of the water and place himself right in front of a seal depiction named "Oscar", saying some things to Abby. You can see a little crab right under. Hints in dialogues also point at Owen being a seal. During the scene in the aquatic dome underwater, Owen concludes their conversation by expressing his intention to spend some time with the seals. Another subtle clue to Owen's future role as a father is found within the aquarium's main room: a statue depicting a seal and its cub. This imagery hints at Owen's impending journey into parenthood.
I'm going to talk about Tommy in Abby's section because it mostly striked me while doing her parts, with the exception of this dinosaur looking like a horse head in the wyoming museeum as mentionned in my first post. Right after letting Yara at the "Big Fat Crab Shack" to get to the marina, she stumble upon Manny who's being targeted by Tommy. Interestingly, if you look behind Abby, you'll spot the "Big Fat Crab Shack" logo again with its giant crab, while directly in front of her, just a couple of meters away, is an advertising van for "Manke" beer. The logo on the van is a horse, accompanied by the tagline "made with the finest ingredients of southern America," which resonates with Tommy's Texan roots. This van appears again later not far, in the parking lot where Tommy shoots at Abby, instigating an attack from the infected.
However, what puzzles me is why Abby doesn't perceive Tommy as an aquatic animal like she does with others. My only lead on this is that the aquatic version of Tommy is a seahorse. This notion is reinforced by the presence of a seahorse symbol at the Serevena Hotel, where Ellie and Dina encounter men tortured by Tommy. Honestly not 100% convinced on this seahorse part.
Lev is seen as a shark by Abby. A whole section of the aquarium is dedicated to sharks and their importance in the ocean ecosystem ( you can also see a little crab under one of the shark depictions ) When Abby and Yara seek a gift for Lev, they deem a shark plushie as the perfect choice, emphasizing his connection to this creature.
A prominent shark exhibit features a large specimen seemingly poised to attack a diver's cage, adorned with scars on its mouth sides. The image of Lev braving the seas on his boat to rescue his mother on the island further reinforces this association, evoking the image of a shark cutting through the waves with determination.
In Abby's perception, Lev embodies the qualities of a shark, yet he identifies himself with a cat, ( or it's his totem animal ) First and foremost, we can clearly see Lev's agility and fearlessness, particularly evident in his comfort with heights, mirroring a cat's nimbleness and independence. Additionally, Lev expresses fears akin to those of a cat—water and dogs. During Ellie's parts, I found this board on the ancient communication agency swarmed by scars ( in front of the tramway ). There this little text on a board from a meeting to pitch a product, back in the days. It says :
"Client pitch meet ideas - emotional angle - comedy angle - personnification of cat ? "
Even though it might be a bit of a stretch, this corresponds perfectly to what happens between Abby and Lev. She feels pity for him upon learning his story and comes to love him, thus the emotional angle, and Lev also makes some jokes or blunders, like asking Abby what's going on between him and Owen at the worst possible moment, or when he doesn't know certain common words due to his life among the Seraphites.
The more obvious sign that Lev is really a cat can be found in the same cafe where we found the tiger in meditation pose, on the left walls. Just like Owen, we can witness Lev positionning himself right in front of this animal and get some dialogues. He say something like it's weird to represent humans as animals / humans from before were weird doing this. This particular artwork features two cartoonish cats adorned in rock-inspired attire, captured in a lively dancing pose. A male and female, holding hands. This really striked me as being a representaion of Lev's gender duality. Abby mentions Lev's "punk-rock" spirit not long before this, hence the outfits.
Yara is a sea otter, simply because she wears this shirt with a sea otter at the aquarium.
The WLF obviously are wolves but Abby actually sees them as Orcas. Upon awakening at the stadium, Abby is greeted by a rug adorned with an orca motif. Then she gets to the mess hall, there's one wolf banner on one wall but also depictions of orcas adorning pillars and inscriptions proclaiming "Home of the Orcas" on the walls. Orcas are kinda wolves of the seas, share several characteristics with wolves, such as being large predators that hunt in packs, exhibit complex social structures, and are territorial. By associating the WLF with Orcas, Abby's perception elevates them to a level of strength, cunning, and dominance akin to these apex predators of the ocean.
Scars are possibly herons. I found some herons in the wyoming museeum as mentionned in my first post, but also some depictions while Abby is crossing the chinese district to get to martyr's gate. They communicate throught whistling like birds including herons. They also go throught the city by the airs, basically. Theres not much hints, but I do feel like the herons correspond really well to Seraphites due to their way of life and behavior. Firstly, herons are often associated with aquatic areas such as marshes and rivers, where they patiently and strategically hunt their prey. Similarly, the Seraphites have established themselves on an isolated island, resembling a marsh, where they practice an ascetic and contemplative form of living in harmony with nature, living in wooden houses. Furthermore, herons are patient and methodical predators, silently observing their surroundings before taking action ( Remember that arrow in Ellie's shoulder ? ) The Seraphites also exhibit a deliberate approach in their lives and interactions, emphasizing discipline, reflection, and strategic planning.
During the visit to the Chinese district, theres a peculiar creature: the dragon. Numerous depictions of it adorn this area. There might be a connection to the Seraphites, evidenced by the presence of Martyr's Gate and the increased encounters with them following this section. However, it's challenging to pinpoint its exact representation; my guess is that it symbolizes a broader concept rather than a specific character or faction. Might also just be because it's the chinese district.
Abby seem to be also linked to whales and octopus, I think each representing one concept. Ellie's collection of cards includes one intriguing card featuring a whale named "Big Blue." The description of the card reads:
"Big Blue is an extra-dimensional entity who has taken on the appearance of a blue whale. First arriving on Earth over a billion years ago to keep watch over nascent life forms, they use their infinite well of knowledge to help guide the human race in times of great need and upheaval. Their unfathomable age has one major drawback: days appear to pass as microseconds. However, this time dilation effect is offset if they hold their breath—which they can do for several years at a time."
The whale, as an entity with ancient wisdom and knowledge, could be seen as a manifestation of destiny itself. Just as the whale has existed since the dawn of life on Earth, destiny is a force that has shaped Abby's life from the very beginning. It has guided her path, leading her to the pivotal moments and encounters that defined her journey. Despite the challenges she faces, destiny continues to steer her toward her ultimate purpose and fate.
In many cultures and mythologies, the octopus is often associated with aspects of mystery, danger, and conflict. Its tentacled appearance and ability to camouflage itself in its environment make it a powerful symbol of the struggle and complexity of human conflicts. In the game, the giant octopus present at the aquarium can be interpreted as a visual representation of the internal and external conflicts that the characters, especially Abby, must face. The octopus's tentacles seem to stretch out and envelop the environment, evoking how conflict can feel omnipresent and difficult to avoid. Furthermore, the octopus is a formidable predator in the marine world, using its tentacles to capture and subdue its prey. This imagery can be associated with how the characters in the game are ensnared in the conflicts surrounding them.
And finally, Abby sees Ellie as a Stingray. Ellie's journey to get to Abby in Seattle final moments is symbolic of her descent into the aquatic world : to get to the hidden crab in the secretive ocean, she must transform as an aquatic animal. As Ellie approaches the aquarium, the challenges intensify, marked by increasingly stormy weather and turbulent seas. Despite the obstacles, Ellie perseveres, ultimately reaching her destination, not before falling into the ocean. Few notes here, first of all there's this outdoor kids' play area, a crab faces towards a whale and a shark, while an orca wing and a seahorse stand behind them. Could be a representation of how Abby is leaving her past behind and her newfound responsibility towards Lev. Next, right before kneeling to get under the fence, a sign featuring a stingray lies on its side, urging one to "become a member today". Further symbolism unfolds as Ellie encounters a shark depiction just before her fall from a broken window, with a stingray positioned EXACTLY on the floor where she lands. On the same note there is a stingray positionned on the floor exactly where Ellie kills Mel & Owen. The cafe section of the aquarium, named "Stingray Bay Cafe," features murals depicting a beach with palm trees, foreshadowing the events to come in Santa Barbara. Abby's exploration of the aquarium with Yara while looking for Lev reveals a section named "Shipwreck Cove," dominated by a giant stingray overhead, further hinting at the impending encounters and sequences involving boats, serving as a metaphor for both characters feeling like shipwrecks by the end of their tumultuous journey.
Also, The use of animal symbolism during Ellie and Abby's confrontations adds a layer of complexity and depth to their dynamic. During their intense fight in the theater, the actions of Ellie and Abby mirror the characteristics of the animals associated with them. Abby's brute force and relentless attacks, smashing Ellie into the floor and causing them to fall to a lower level, hitting her with her fists or grabbing her, align with the symbolism of the crab and its claws. She also headbut Ellie ( bison ). In contrast, Ellie's actions, repeatedly tries spiking Abby with her knife like a stingray hitting its prey, reflect a more tactical and predatory approach. I invite you to re-check their fight at the theater with that in mind, it's really striking.
As we've discussed, these symbols are not merely decorative but serve as powerful storytelling devices, conveying concepts or themes of identity, transformation, and growth. Whether you've noticed these subtle details yourself or are discovering them for the first time, it's clear that the developers at Naughty Dog have crafted a meticulously designed world filled with rich symbolism and meaningful connections.
So, what are your thoughts? Have you spotted any other animal motifs or symbols ? Let me know your theories !

I was a damaged person. But I was on the mend.
I had a pretty traumatic break up with my childhood best friend, turned girlfriend. I had known her since we were 8 years old. We had been boyfriend and girlfriend since we were 13 and had been so for 9 years until my junior year of college when she cheated on me in a very cruel way. It came to light that she had cheated on me many times before as well.
I loved her so god damn much! I thought we were one of those stories where two souls were knitted together from eternity to eternity, or some hallmark card bullshit like that.
I was emotionally shattered and it took me a while until one day about 2 years later, I woke up and thought about her, but then realized that I hadn't thought about her at all the previous day. It was glorious and I knew then that I was on the mend. After that, my healing process sort of exponentially snowballed and I was back in the saddle as far as relationships went. I started going on dates and meeting up with women.
I was a software engineer working for a large corporation. Because I was good at my job, and because I didn't have a family, I was given the opportunity to move to Singapore and lead a project there for what would be a couple of years but turned out to be 7 years.
The great thing about Singapore is that they speak the "King's English" when they're not speaking "Singlish" (a patois of mostly English with funky grammar, but with Malay, Chinese, and Hindi thrown in). So I didn't have to learn a whole new language to fit in. I just had to learn how to translate Singlish to English, which wasn't too hard after a couple of months of trying. I even learned the lingo and it would amuse my coworkers a whole lot when I spoke Singlish. They thought it was hilarious.
I was a good looking guy (still am!!) but I really let myself go in my depression. I was a tall, muscular 210 pounds when I broke up with my ex, but I had ballooned up to over 300 pounds. I started a workout regimen and lost it all but the workout regimen became sort of an obsession. It was the one thing that grounded me. After I went to Singapore, one of my business perks was a gym membership at "Fitness First", a local gym franchise. I was down to my previous weight, but I had to practically camp out at the gym because the best thing about Singapore is the FOOD. The food is incredible! However, you WILL pack on the weight if you don't get your ass to the gym.
The meet cute
I was working out one day much later than normal due to some overtime on my project and I saw a girl on a treadmill. The treadmill was the one I usually use because it was in the back and kind of out of the way. The girl was stunning! The thing that stuck out to me was that she was had her hair in a pony tail through a ball cap, which is a look I find very attractive. I was a little nervous because, even though I was fairly confident about the way I look, I was definitely batting out of my league with this girl.
I went to her and chatted her up after she got off of the treadmill. She didn't look me in the eye and didn't really engage. I figured that I had acted like what is now known as a "gym creep" and I figured it was a "swing and a miss!" I apologized and said I wouldn't bother her anymore. I stuck out my hand and said "I'm OP, by the way. What's your name?"
She hesitated and looked at me for a bit and said "Lilly" (not her real name).
I remember this exactly because she later said that it was what intrigued her about me. At the time, she was an actress/model who had done some print/public billboard type ads, product demo booths at expos, and even a bit part in a local tv (Mediacorp) series. She had started to attract public attention because of these (mainly the TV show and the ads that were hanging all around town at that time) not just from men but from women too and it was super uncomfortable for her.
The fact that I had no idea who she was relaxed her and made her think that I was attracted to her for her and not because her face was everywhere at the time. After she told me about it, I did notice her face everywhere. But photoshop was a thing even back then, so I didn't recognize her from her ads and I really don't look at ads, tuning them out. I also didn't watch her TV show because it was in Mandarin Chinese and I don't speak or understand any Chinese, and I wasn't in a position where I was required to attend or arrange trade shows.
In the years prior to meeting me, Lilly had undergone a lot of plastic surgery (breast, eyelid, facial contouring, nose job, lipo, etc). She said it got to where she didn't recognize herself in the mirror and it disturbed and depressed her. She hadn't particularly wanted the surgery but she got the procedures done at the behest of her family who wanted her to bring in more money and the people in charge of her career development (don't know the term). It was all very expensive and she felt like she owed her family and the talent people who managed her.
Later, I found out that she hated the public recognition. Not just from men, but mostly from women who were really catty about her plastic surgery. The people in charge of her were pushing her to start singing but she didn't have a good voice and would need a bunch of training for that. She was depressed due to not recognizing herself in the mirror any more and didn't want to follow the career track that she had been on. They were pushing her to do more figure/body modeling which was why she was in the gym. She was SUPER uncomfortable with that and constantly hungry and pissed off.
She was afraid that she would do some more modeling and then get married off by her parents to some rich mainland Chinese man that she would be ambivalent about (she preferred Caucasian men) and she'd be forced to be a traditional pampered Chinese wife living in Beijing.(Doesn't sound that bad to me. Some of those Chinese businessmen live crazy luxurious lifestyles.
Since I was working a lot of overtime, I kept going to the gym later at night and we saw each other and I would wave and smile and she would smile and wave back. OK I was kinda hoping to meet her regularly. I spotted her on a couple of exercises and we began to chat with each other a bit. A couple of times I had to steady her because she was fainting from being hungry and working out at the same time. I used that as an excuse to take her out to a hawker center, which like a mall food court but with delicious local food (not chain restaurants). We chatted and got along really well. It became a regular thing until I confessed I had a crush on her. We started dating after that until it got to a point where she practically moved into my place.
She, of course, had her share of guys interested in her. She was on livejournal at the time (remember livejournal??) and she was doing that and posting pictures of herself for her career mostly, but I'm sure she did enjoy the attention. She had one guy from Belgium who was really after her. He actually bought her 800 thread count sheets, which is an oddly practical but vaguely inappropriate gift. He actually visited Singapore on business (he was a tech sales guy) and wanted to meet up with her in a public place, a hawker center. I still had trust issues from my previous "love of my life" betraying me. To this day, I cringe at my behavior at the time, but I laid down a clear boundary. She could absolutely go see and hang out with this guy if she wanted to, but if she did, she'd be doing it as a single available girl and we would be through. She said she saw my face "turn to stone" and it was clear that she would lose me if she went to meet up with that guy. That honestly gave her pause about our relationship and she really considered ending it at the time. I didn't know that until much later, though. Certainly, I'm glad that she didn't. She didn't go meet up with the guy. To this day, we call the incident "The Belgian Waffle". OK so I call it that, she thinks it's stupid.
Meeting her family
Eventually, Lilly asked if I could have dinner with her parents, saying that they wanted to meet me. I bought some gifts, basically Japanese cookies in really nice packaging, and then we met. I did the traditional thing and formally introduced myself and asked them about their family and history.
At the time, Lilly got some criticism from her extended family because I am a white guy. There was a certain stigma attached to local girls who liked white guys. They called those girls "SPGs" which stands for "Sarong Party Girls", a derogatory name for the prostitutes who would entertain British expats at after hours parties "back in the day".
Over the next few months, I won over her family mainly by eating their food and being accepting of their culture. I grew up in Texas, so pickled jalapenos were common in my house...like salt and pepper, we put them on everything. Later on, I was the kind of guy who put tabasco or sriracha on everything. So eating their spicy food was no problem for me. I remember us both going shopping at an open air market and seeing an older woman cutting up cili padi. I asked if I could try some. She looked at my pale face and then at Lilly and she said I could. I bit into one and chewed it up as the woman looked at me with an amused look on her face. She was waiting for me to jump up and down with fire shooting out of my mouth, I guess. I disappointed her, but she and Lilly were impressed. She later told her mother and she was impressed too. She wanted me to eat one for her as well. Oh well, trained monkey time I guess.
The real test came when I tried Durian for the first time. This is the same food that "defeated" Andrew Zimmern, the "Bizarre Foods" guy. I actually liked it. I had a D24 durian, which admittedly is like the "beginner version" of durians. There are like 16 different types. When you get past the smell and actually taste it, it doesn't smell that bad any more. It's very sweet and creamy. It's like the taste overwrites your disgust of the smell. I think that's what really impressed them to an extreme degree. They started calling me an "egg", because I was "white on the outside but yellow on the inside."
I would visit her grandmother with her. In true Chinese fashion, Lilly and her brother Johnny were raised by their paternal grandparents while their parents worked full time jobs, so her grandmother was like her mom. She was in an elder care facility at this point, though. She didn't like living there, but it was all they could afford. We would visit her every week and she'd be very happy. She didn't speak any English at all so she and Lilly would just chat speaking Hokkien Chinese while her grandmother would pet my hairy forearms like I was a dog. She was absolutely smitten with my hairy forearms.
Meeting my family
After a little over a year, I took her back to Texas to meet my family. It was quite the culture shock. Lilly was amazed by red barns and hay bales, black and white Holstein cows, things she saw in movies about the USA. She particularly was impressed by the cluster mailboxes lined up on country roads ("So cute, leh!") We actually had to stop the car and take pictures of her standing next to them, smiling goofily for the photo. I made sure to take her to the Texas hill country during spring, when the hills are covered with soft green grass and festooned with bluebonnets, sunflowers, indian paintbrushes, black eyed susans, daisies, etc. I had to practically hold her down to keep her from picking them. It's not illegal or anything, it's just frowned upon and tradition to leave them alone. OK, I let her pick some. Give me a break, I was in love with the girl.
Driving was also something that kind of boggled her mind. Texas is huge, and traveling from my parents' place to visit my brothers and their families was a seemingly endless trek. Driving from Houston to Austin, to Corpus Christi was crazy long, even with the stops to visit my relatives.
Lilly was practically agoraphobic at the big sky in Texas. She was used to being in a forest of tall concrete and steel buildings, with only strips of blue sky available at the top. In Texas that sky went from horizon to horizon. She was also amazed at the uncountable numbers of stars at night away from the city lights. She later told me it was like visiting Narnia or something.
In Texas, she got her share of looks from guys, especially in the bigger cities. I wasn't jealous. I've never been a jealous guy, although my experience with my ex "love of my life" really put my radar up, I still was proud that other guys were attracted to her. My attitude was "go ahead and eat your hearts out, she's with me!"
When she met my oldest brother, it was like a cultural thing with her, so she was very deferential and respectful. I knew that my oldest brother was attracted to her because he was stumbling and stuttering when he was speaking to her, looking at her but kind of avoiding looking at her. I wasn't too concerned because he was a married guy with 2 sons and not a scumbag, but it was still pretty amusing to see "Mr. Smooth-don't-let-em-know-you-want-em-kid" at a loss for words.
My parents met Lilly finally (she was super nervous but she did really well) and later my mom brought me aside and asked me if she should re-set her mother's diamond engagement ring. I thought about it a bit, and then told her "yes". My mom's eyes started sparkling with images of unborn grandchildren and she smiled bigger than I had ever seen her smile (kind of unsettling actually). My dad later brought me aside and basically told me I couldn't do any better and I would be a "god damn fool" if I let her get away from me. I agreed. My dad then told me something that remains with me to this day: "She will make your life sparkle, son." (she has).
Before our time in the US was up my mom gave me the ring and I asked Lilly to be my wife in a field of wildflowers, which had become her favorite place to be in Texas. She said yes. Looking back, that was one of the happiest days of my life. It was up there with losing my virginity to "the love of my life" (who turned out to be a duplicitous crazy person but at the time it was really special), my wedding day to Lilly, and the births of our children.
The Engagement
When we got back to Singapore we had to pretend we weren't engaged because I had to ask her parents for their daughter's hand in marriage. I spoke with them and explained how my prospects in my career were good. I told them that I loved their daughter and that my family also loved their daughter. We had to schedule a phone call between my parents and her parents.
I had clued my parents in as far as the traditions go. In Chinese culture, the groom pays for the wedding rather than the bride. The groom also has to give the bride's parents certain auspicious gifts. My parents luckily had done a tour of China a few years before and knew all of this beforehand, having befriended their local tour guide who was saving up money for his own wedding at the time. On the call, they agreed upon a pinjin, which is basically "betrothal money". We started to plan the Guo Da Li ceremony which would take place in 3 months time, and 3 months before the wedding.
Unfortunately life threw us a curve ball and Lilly's grandmother died. It was bittersweet because, while Lilly missed her, her grandmother had become very old and infirm to the point where her quality of life was pretty low. All wedding stuff was put on hiatus until the funeral was over plus 100 days for mourning.
After that, we were able to do the Guo Da Li ceremony. I gave my future in laws a red packet of money plus special cakes and 12 mandarin oranges and gold jewelry. It all went very well.
Wedding planning started in earnest. I got some money from my dad (who insisted) but the lion's share was out of my pocket. During this process I was able to meet some incredible people. The stand outs were Richard and Jimmy. Rich and Jimmy were tailors and dressmakers. They were a couple and they gave my fiancée a really good deal on a wedding dress and cocktail dress if she agreed to do some print modeling for their business. They also made me a tuxedo and a suit. I offered to model for them as well and we all had a good laugh at that prospect (OK they were doing most of the laughing - ego still hurts from that one, guys).
The venue we were using was Chijmes. It's the same one used in the move "Crazy Rich Asians". It was back when they had first started offering it up as a venue so it wasn't crazy expensive at the time. Plus, it was a smaller venue for weddings. Usually weddings are held in large hotel ballrooms and are huge affairs (this is what I was told). The families both invite everyone they've ever met to come: Neighbors, business contacts, everyone. They all bring red packets filled with cash. We opted for the "small" wedding.
The Bachelor Party
We had planned bachelobachelorette parties on the same night (separate venues). Lilly's MOH threw hers while Rich and Jimmy threw mine. My best man was my dad (because he's the best man that I know) and so cigars and brandy would have been disappointing to my work friends and my future brother in law and cousins. I don't think anyone was prepared for what happened.
We had the party at the sushi restaurant of a friend of Rich and Jimmy's. It was after hours. We had some incredible sashimi and rolls. I even tried fish sperm. Didn't like it. I asked Jimmy are you sure it's FISH, sperm?? He said of course he'd never do that to me. To be fair, it did taste and smell very fishy. I don't know how human sperm tastes like (or maybe I do now, I don't know).
After the sushi was done, it was time for the entertainment, and oh boy. Rich and Jimmy hired a trans entertainer who sang show tunes. The thing is, she had an incredible voice. She was obviously biologically male, but she really carried herself with a lot more femininity than I've seen from biological women. She sang and told jokes and roasted me pretty thoroughly. My dad was there and he thought it was funny as hell. My friends from work, especially the Aussies and Brits, thought it was great, my future BIL and most of my future cousins did too. Other cousins politely excused themselves and left. I think the free flowing booze and beer kept most people there, though.
After her thoroughly entertaining performance, it was time for the dancers. This is kind of where it went off the rails. Rich and Jimmy hired exotic dancers...but they were all male or trans. Now, to be fair, it wasn't like they didn't tell me about it beforehand. They did. Personally, I thought it would be hilarious to announce that the strippers were here and then have male dancers come out. I have a twisted sense of humor, I suppose. I certainly wasn't going to cheat on the most beautiful woman in the world mere weeks before our wedding, so prostitutes and female dancers were completely out of the question for me. They jokingly suggested male dancers it and we laughed. I thought about it a bit and I guess I'm "take-the-joke-too-far" guy so I encouraged it. Lilly knew about it and thought it was funny as well and wanted me to video tape it while it happened. ("Yeah right you just want to ogle the dancers" "Of course, lah!")
What I wasn't prepared for was the PLATOON of banana hammocks that marched out into the restaurant. Smooth greased up Asian chests everywhere! My dad was of course shocked at first and then looked at me and we started laughing and the ridiculousness of it. My dad stood up and clapped his hand on my shoulder and put a mock serious look on his face. The people immediately around me witnessed my dad telling me that he loved me and accepted my life style choice and that nothing I could say or do would ever change the fact that he and mom loved me and accepted me. Thanks, dad. I was laughing during the whole thing and my future BIL and work buddies who were around me were laughing as well. My dad excused himself and said he had to go find my mom and tell her the "bad news about her future grandchildren" and left ("Can adopt, lah! Can surrogate, meh!" Thanks for the support, guys). My future BIL laughed and said that since all of the available male dancers were at my party, there were none available to attend his sister's party, so she was "safe".
Among the highlights of the evening is that I discovered that a few of my co-workers and future cousins were in fact gay. I was told to stay out of the ladies' room no matter what. I wasn't planning on going in but thanks for the warning. I was proud that we all only vomited in the trash cans and not on the floor (what a waste of some damn good sushi....and fish sperm). Rich and Jimmy stayed next to each other all night. I even saw them holding hands and looking at each other lovingly. To my shame, I was under the common misconception that all gay men were very promiscuous and I kind of expected them to pair off with the dancers. What I saw that night was a very loving monogamous relationship.
The Wedding Day
The day of the wedding came a few days later and I had the good fortune of being the first one in my family to experience the fun and interesting experience of a groom going through a Chinese-style wedding. I say "Chinese-style" because while we did do a lot of the traditions from a Chinese wedding, we did say vows to God before a Christian minister. This was something she insisted on as her family had converted from Taoism to Christianity (but still kept the Taoist traditions and festivals).
First up was the gatecrash. I went over to the her family's apartment and the MOH and bridesmaids stood at the door refusing to let me in unless I gave them $9999.00. Nine is a significant symbol to them. It means "longevity" I think. So the whole idea is for me to haggle the price down by doing challenges and games. I had to do a handstand and walk with my hands. I had to answer trivia questions ("What is her nickname for you?" "Cranky old man" "What is your nickname for her?" "Baby"). BIL and I had to do "the worm". I haggled them down to $99 which I paid to them in a red packet. My BIL and wife chided me for not going lower but my dad was there and was in his 70s and couldn't do any feats of strength.
After I "secured" my bride, we did the traditional tea ceremony with her parents and my parents. Lilly was dressed in a traditional red silk qipao, tailor made by Rich and Jimmy. I gotta tell you people, the qipao really does it for me! Not gonna lie, it was like cupid gut punched me when I saw her dressed in it . My parents were pretty stoic throughout but my mom sympathy cried with Lilly's parents when she tearfully did the tea ceremony with her mother and father. We received red packets from each set of parents. I was told the red packet her parents gave us had most of the bride price we paid in it. Her mom gave her her grandmother's jeweled antique watch and my mom gave her a sapphire ring (sapphire is my birth stone). As we left her home to go to Chijmes, I told her "we're keeping that dress, understand me??" She laughed.
We got to Chijmes, did the photos and she walked down the aisle in a beautiful white dress with a small train behind it with sequins on it. My dad gave me the ring. He was my best man. He was my best man because he's the best man I know. After the wedding, she changed into a champagne colored strapless cocktail dress another Rich and Jimmy original. THREE wardrobe changes, people! THREE! All with different hair and make up and she did it super quick. I don't know what wizardry was invoked but we may be indebted to the hoary netherworld.
We honeymooned at the Fullerton Hotel. The old British colonial Post Office was converted to a luxury hotel in 2001. We stayed there for 3 days ordering overpriced room service ("Go to hawker center, lah! Much cheaper better food, meh!).
Emigration and Immigration
So a little bit before this time, a little event happened in New York. You might have heard about it. Anyway because some sexually repressed incels decided to murder thousands of people, USA's immigration was all jacked up. The INS went bye-bye. Then we had the BCIS for a brief moment, followed by the USCIS. I saw that my project was ending and my company helped me with her immigration. It was a pain, though. It seems like we had new forms to fill out every week while the old ones became obsolete. That's how I remember it, anyway. It was a pretty frustrating time and I almost had to leave her behind (it wouldn't have been permanent but it would be a long time). Luckily we were able to make it time.
For explanation purposes, we didn't get LEGALLY married in Singapore. We had the religious ceremony but no "government contracts" were involved. This is because, at that time at least, it was easier to bring over a fiancée than a wife, for some reason. So Lilly was a "90 Day Fiancée"!! We got married at the county courthouse when we finally were able to go to my new project. We didn't wait 90 days. We did in three (jet lag).
Unfortunately for her, we moved from Singapore, a 24 hour international class city, to a sleepy seaside town in the USA near a military base. Lots of fun was had with that. A total fish out of water story for another time (What is this "coin laundry"? Do you Americans have a place to wash your coins?).
My BIL got married to a beautiful girl and moved to Australia and opened a Bait and Tackle store in Surfer's Paradise on the east coast of Australia. He has 2 daughters. In 2012 he was caught cheating on his wife and lost everything. She moved back to Singapore with his kids, and he kind of struggled for a while. He got another bait and tackle store eventually and tries to see his daughters whenever he can. They don't have a good relationship.
Rich and Jimmy celebrated the decriminalization of homosexuality in Singapore in 2022, but they still can't get married. We still talk from time to time. Writing this, I find myself missing them. I had some really fun times because of them. I've never had better conversations in Singapore than with them while at Lilly's dress fittings (and my suit fittings).
We have been married for 21 years. She has never given up being a Singaporean citizen. She keeps her passport current. She's a "permanent resident" here in the USA. We have three kids, two boys and a girl. We are still married. She still wears her hair in a pony tail with a ball cap when she works out. She still wears that qipao on special occasions, which I try to achieve as often as possible. She's still my Baby and I'm still her Cranky Old Man.
Thanks for reading.

Hey recruitinghell, first time posting here but I feel like it's necessary to share my experience with what seems to be a really awesome trend. For context, I starting programming in March/April of last year and have been on a serious job search for ~9 months since finishing my full stack web developer bootcamp. I currently work pro-bono for an unfunded start up, which to be frank has been a great opportunity but I've been really bad at putting in effort since they do not pay me for my work. It's turning into a toxic relationship on my part which I feel is necessary to acknowledge. I also work a retail job in order to feed myself and my cat. My roommate has pretty much been sponsoring me since finishing my bootcamp while I search for a job and I'm very grateful but it's taking so long and I just want to be able to tell my family that I finally have a job. I'm almost 30 and every day feels like a drag.
There have been two separate incidents I've experienced that involves me having a great first round interview only to wind up being ghosted. These weren't with third party or internal recruiters - they were with the CE-mutherf**king-O of the company. Both companies are start ups that recently achieved funding, hence why they're growing their teams.
Startup #1:
I was sent this after lamenting of job prospects in a slack channel for bootcamp grads in my network. It was sent my way by someone who even gave me some tips on my Linkedin which I greatly appreciated. It was a very interesting job - Junior Front End Engineer - using Next.js. It was posted on a job board that uses AI to screen both your resume and assess technical skills during a coding interview. Very whacky way of being technically assessed. Involved me explaining my implementation to an AI bot that listens the whole time, and then I needed to provide an optimized solution. I passed and was invited to schedule an interview with their CEO. It took a day or two for me to realize the job I applied for wasn't just posted by a company on this job board - it was to work for the company that created the job board itself. Very cool!
So, I have my interview with the CEO and what was supposed to be 30 minutes turned into an hour. It was a great conversation and I got to share my story moreso than I believe most interviews allow. I was told the next steps, and to anticipate my take home assessment by the end of the week. It's been roughly 2 months now. I sent a thank you and after about 10 days a follow up to see if I was still being considered. Nothing. Just crickets.
Startup #2:
I have a profile on wellfound and got an email alert informing me someone had sent me a message. Sick! I completely forgot my profile existed there. It was a message from the CEO of a recently funded startup who found my profile and liked that I have both farming and front end experience. He invited me to schedule an interview. THIS was like a dream come true for me. I was a full time farmer when I started my programming journey. I downloaded their app (basic MVP), and could feel my soul singing when thinking about being able to work for a company that serves a sector both important for humanity and to my heart. We had a lovely interview (though I was a couple minutes late, but I was expecting a phone call since they asked for my number to schedule the interview), we talked about a lot. And I was told my next step would be an interview with their CTO. It'll be a month next week since this interview. I've followed up (after my original thank you) about a week and a half later asking about how the timeline for my next interview was looking, that I understand the startup life can involve wearing many hats and losing track of things.. nothing. I'm genuinely concerned that there's something wrong with me that nobody is telling me. I have them on Linkedin, too, and just about every day I consider sending them a DM along the lines of, "Hey [CEO], YOU invited ME to interview with your company and you've been silent since telling me my next steps. I'd seriously appreciate some transparency and to know if I'm even being considered." But given how pathetic that feels I feel like it's best to just act like the opportunity never even existed. I don't like having to gaslight myself in order to carry on.
So my real question here is:
1) Is this acceptable? Like, how normal is it to have a great interview with someone only to ghost them completely? Not with a recruiter (I've had plenty of those, too!), but with the founder of the company itself.
2) Should I send the CEO from startup #2 a DM? How would you even word it to preserve the possibility of even getting a response?
Thank you in advance if you made it this far, I know this is coming off as a rant but I have to go that retail job I mentioned today and act happy. Writing this out felt good. Thanks for listening.

Timestamp: https://i.imgur.com/MWWk2iA.jpeg
All prices include CONUS shipping. Payment via PayPal F&F or Venmo. NO NOTES! Comment dibs/PM FIRST, then PM me. For your protection, I will not PM you first.
You can PM me with this link
Trades I’m interested in: Rearden Mini 5/8x24, Arisaka lights, Holosun 503CU
**Vortex Viper PST 2.5-10x44 SFP 30mm Scope EBR-1 MOA + Vortex Hat - $375
Scope Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/89aFtzD
Hat Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/wkkWXoN
Like new in box. Has only been test mounted, hasn’t been zeroed. Includes everything from factory (manual, lens cloth, sun shade, battery, Allen key, brass zeroing shims, elastic scope caps) and the Vortex SnapBack hat. Hat is brand new, never used or tried on.
**Spiritus Bank Robber Chest Rig Multicam Black- $70
Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/OSnj4sZ
Pretty good condition. Some use. Minimal stretching of elastic visible in a few spots. Never stored with mags inserted. Includes MCB Bank Robber, MCB skinny straps, MCB back strap, 2 shock cords.
Burris P.E.P.R 30mm Scope Mount - $58
Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/SsBjJhU
Like new condition. Only test mounted. Includes original packaging, all factory screws, 2 smooth top rings, 1 picatinny ring top.
Haley Micro 556 Triple Mag Insert - $25
Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/6Kf9NxZ
Like new condition. This insert fits most micro rigs that have loop panels internally.
Burris FASTFIRE 3 Red Dot 3MOA + Burris Protector Pic Mount- $140
Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/VfY9iGF
Like new in box. This was a warranty replacement from Burris. Includes everything from the factory and a used Burris Picatinny Protector Mount. I did test mount the sight in the Protector Mount but it wouldn’t clear my scope turrets, so I’m ditching that idea.
CAT Gen 7 Tourniquet Sealed - $25
Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/4HMJ8EN
Brand new. Still sealed in package.
Kley-Zion Bayonet Lug Mount Picatinny Rail - $17
Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/L58bnFY
Good condition. Some wear from use. Works great for mounting a TLR on a 10.5” FSB build.
Tyrant CNC I.T.T.S. - Glock GEN 3-4 Compatible Flat Face Trigger & Trigger Bar- $45
Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/B9GRVvG
Good condition. Received in a trade.
Spikes Tactical R2 Muzzle Brake - $35
Gallery: https://imgur.com/a/bAqmzG8
Pretty good condition. Minimal use.
Again, all prices include CONUS shipping. Payment via PayPal F&F or Venmo. NO NOTES! Comment dibs/PM, then PM me.

I keep trying to send this person a gift every single day but it keeps saying that they have an unopened gift from me. I never realised that, that wouldn’t work, as they would need to accept the gift and open the menu to be able to send me one.
They are able to send me gifts every day, but I am not able to send them back. It does work occasionally though. Is this a glitch? or are they not accepting gifts? I’m kinda new to the friend thing for pokemon go.
I’m not sure how to say that it is you without giving away your username without permission, but if you have a shiny kyogre as your buddy, are level 49 and are wearing a blue and white polkadot hat, it’s probably you.
My IGN is: 0M4W1L3
Apologies if this is you, i promise i’m not being stingy 😭

Region is NA.

If you have my wishlist games, Chat with me anytime. Only accept games from your own collection.

My REPs: 200+ successful trades, stopped tracking after 202.

​

Wishlist is in the end of this post

My steam games for trade (Can make gift links if possible):

Added recently:

Miasma Chronicles
Risk of Rain 2
Empyrion - Galactic Survival
Warhammer 40,000: Battlesector
Littlewood
One Hand Clapping
Ultimate Chicken Horse
Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition
Mad Max
MORTAL KOMBAT XL
Mortal Kombat 11: Ultimate
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
Middle-Earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
Gotham Knights
Back 4 Blood
Batman™: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
Batman™: Arkham Asylum GOTY Edition
Batman™: Arkham City GOTY Edition
Batman™: Arkham Origins
.hack//G.U. Last Recode
GOD EATER 3
PAC-MAN MUSEUM+
TEKKEN 7
Dragon Knight (delisted, 18+, PM for price)
Hell Girls (delisted, 18+, PM for price)
Super Star (delisted, 18+, PM for price)
​

Steam games:

9 Years of Shadows
A Juggler's Tale
A Plague Tale: Innocence
ABZU
Aces and Adventures
Ad Infinitum
Afterimage
Agent in Depth
Alchemist's Castle
Alchemy Garden
Aliens vs. Predator Collection ( includes Aliens vs. Predator + Aliens vs Predator Swarm Map Pack + Aliens vs Predator: Bug Hunt Pack)
Aliens: Fireteam Elite
Amanda the Adventurer
AMID EVIL
Amnesia: The Bunker
Anuchard
Aragami 2
Arcade Paradise
Arise: A Simple Story
Armello
Army Men RTS
Assault Suit Leynos
Astronarch
Autonauts vs Piratebots
Battlecruisers
Beacon Pines
Big Pharma
BIOMUTANT
Bionic Commando Rearmed
Black Paradox
Black Skylands
Blade Assault
Blood And Zombies
Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
Borderlands 3: Super Deluxe Edition
Boundless
BPM: Bullets Per Minute
Bravery and Greed
Brawlout
Castle on the Coast
Cats in Time
Caveblazers
Chicka Wars Chicken Meat (delisted)
Children of Silentown
CHIVALRY 2
Citizen Sleeper
CivCity: Rome
Click and Slay
CODE VEIN
Colt Canyon
Conan Chop Chop
Concept Destruction
Construction Simulator (2015) Deluxe Edition
Cookie Cutter
Corridor Z
Cosmonautica
Crayon Physics Deluxe
CROSSBOW: Bloodnight
Cultist Simulator
Curse of the Dead Gods
Dagon - The Eldritch Box DLC
Dark Deity
Dead Age
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Death Squared
Deceive Inc.
Depraved
Descenders
Desperados III
Destiny 2: Beyond Light DLC
Destroy All Humans! 2 - Reprobed
Destroyer: The U-Boat Hunter
Detached: Non-VR Edition
DEVOUR
Dicey Dungeons
Disciples: Liberation
Disco Elysium - The Final Cut
Dishonored Definitive Edition
Distant Worlds Universe
Doctor Strange Defenders Skin
Double Cross
Doughlings: Arcade
Doughlings: Invasion
Dragon Knight (delisted, 18+)
Draw Slasher
Drawful 2
Due Process
Dungeons 2 - Complete Edition
Dusk
EDGE OF ETERNITY
Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising
El Hijo
Emily is Away <3
Encased
Endless Space 2
Epic Chef
ETERNAL THREADS
Exorder
Expeditions: Rome
Fashion Police Squad
Firegirl: Hack 'n Splash Rescue
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fling to the Finish
Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
Foretales
FOREWARNED
Forged Battalion
Fortissimo FA INTL Ver
Founders' Fortune
Friends vs Friends
From Space
Full Metal Furies
Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
GameGuru Classic
Garfield Kart - Furious Racing
Generation Zero
Geometric Sniper
Ghost 1.0
Gloria Victis
Go Home Dinosaurs!
Going Under
Golf Gang
Good knight
GRID Ultimate Edition
GRIME
Grow: Song of the Evertree
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
Guns & Fishes
Guts and Glory
Hack 'n' Slash bundle (including Hack 'n' Slash + Hack 'n' Slash Soundtrack + Spacebase GIFT)
Hardspace: Shipbreaker
Heart Fragment - Book Two: Belief Fragments (Shannon & Lana)
Hedon Bloodrite
Hell Girls (delisted, 18+)
Hell Pie
Hellbound
HERO'S HOUR
Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
Hokko Life
Hollow Knight
Honey, I Joined a Cult
Hot Brass
Hotshot Racing
How to Sing to Open Your Heart
HUMANKIND™ Definitive Edition
Hyper Gunsport
I’m not a Monster
ibb & obb (steam inventory gift)
Internet Cafe Simulator
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Intravenous
Intruders: Hide and Seek
Iron Danger
Iron Harvest
Izmir: An Independence Simulator
Joggernauts
JURASSIC WORLD EVOLUTION 2
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition
Just Cause 4 Complete Edition
JYDGE
Katamari Damacy REROLL
Kerbal Space Program
Killsquad
Kraken Academy!!
Labirinto 2
Lacuna – A Sci-Fi Noir Adventure
Last Oasis
Late Shift
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Legend of Keepers
Legion TD 2 - Multiplayer Tower Defense
Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
Let Them Come
Life is Strange 2 Complete Season (incl. Mascot Bundle DLC)
Little Misfortune
Little Orpheus
Loddlenaut
Lords and Villeins
Lost Planet 3 Complete Pack
Lost Ruins
Lust for Darkness
Lust from Beyond: M Edition
MageQuit
Maid of Sker
Mainlining
Mediterranea Inferno
MEEPLE STATION
Meow Express
Merchant of the Skies
Metal: Hellsinger
Metro Exodus
Midnight Fight Express
Midnight Ghost Hunt
Mini Metro
Mini motor Racing EVO (delisted)
MirrorMoon EP
Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp
Monster Sanctuary
Monster Train
Monster Train: The Last Divinity DLC
Moon Hunters
Moonlighter
Morbid: The Seven Acolytes
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
Moving Out - Movers in Paradise DLC
Mr. Prepper
Murder by Numbers
My Friendly Neighborhood
My Time At Portia
Mythic Ocean
Nadir: A Grimdark Deckbuilder
Necromunda Hired Gun
NecroWorm
Neverinth
Neverout
Nickelodeon All Star Brawl
Nobody Saves the World
Non-Stop Raiders
Northgard
Oaken
Obduction
Of Orcs And Men
Offworld Trading Company
OLLIOLLI WORLD - RAD EDITION
One Hand Clapping
Orbital Racer
Othercide
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Outward Definitive Edition
Outward The Soroboreans DLC + soundtrack (DLC only)
Override
Overture
Ozymandias
Paint the Town Red
Partial Control
Patch Quest
Pathfinder: Kingmaker Enhanced Plus Edition (NA only) + Royal Ascension DLC + The Wildcards DLC
Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous - Enhanced Edition
Pathfinders: Memories
Pathway
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Per Asperatrar
Pilgrims
Pill Baby
Pixplode
Planet TD
Port Royale 3 Gold
PowerBeatsVR
Prodeus
Project CARS (delisted)
Project Chemistry
Project Nimbus: Complete Edition
Project Winter
Propagation VR - Co-op
Propnight
Proteus
PULSAR: The Lost Colony
Pumped BMX +
Quadrata
Quantum Break
Radio Commander
Ragnarock
Railroad Corporation
rain world
Rebel Inc: Escalation
Re-Legion
Remnant: From the Ashes - Complete Edition
Remnants of Naezith
Resident Evil Revelations
Resident Evil Revelations 2
Reventure
Revita
RIOT - Civil Unrest
Road 96
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
ROGUE LORDS
Roguebook
RollerCoaster Tycoon 2: Triple Thrill Pack
RPG Maker VX
Rubber Bandits
RUINER
Rym 9000
Saints Row
Sakura Succubus, 18+
Sakura Succubus 2, 18+
Sakura Succubus 3, 18+
Sakura Succubus 4, 18+
Sakura Succubus 5, 18+
Sakura Succubus 6, 18+
Sakura Swim Club, 18+
Sam & Max: Devil's Playhouse
Scorn
SCP : Secret Files
Secret Neighbor: Hello Neighbor Multiplayer
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Shadow Tactics: Aiko's Choice
Shady Part of Me
Shing!
Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate
Sid Meier's Railroads!
Siege Survival: Gloria Victis
Skullgirls 2nd Encore
Slinger VR
Smile For Me
Sniper Elite 3
Sniper Elite 4
Snowtopia
Sorcerer King: Rivals
Soul Searching
Soulblight
Souldiers
Soulstice
Spellcaster University
Spirit Hunter: Death Mark
Spirit of the Island
Stacking
Starbound
Starpoint Gemini Warlords
Steelrising
Stirring Abyss
Strider
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
SuchArt!
Sunlight
Super Chicken Catchers
Super Magbot
Super Star (delisted)
SUPERHOT: MIND CONTROL DELETE
Surviving the Aftermath
Sword Legacy Omen
SYMMETRYro
Symphony of War: The Nephilim Saga
Tails Noir
Telefrag VR
TEMTEM
Terraformers
The Amazing American Circus
The Ascent
The Beast Inside
The Callisto Protocol
The Dark Pictures Anthology: Man of Medan
The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes
The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope
The Deed II
The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos
The Excavation of Hob's Barrow
The Golf Club 2019 Featuring PGA TOUR
The Gunk
The Legend of Tianding
The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante
The Long Dark
The Outer Worlds: Spacer's Choice Edition
The Pale Beyond
The Quarry
The Red Lantern
The Serpent Rogue
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
The Witcher: Enhanced Edition (steam inventory gift)
The Witness
The Wolf Among Us
There Is No Light
Ticket to Ride
Tin Can
Titan Souls
TOEM
Tools Up!
Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt
Traffic Jams
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Trek to Yomi
Tribes of Midgard
Twilight Struggle
Twin Mirror
Two Point Campus
Ultimate Chicken Horse
Underland: The Climb
Unity of Command: Stalingrad Campaign
UnMetal
Vanishing Realms
Victoria 3
War for the Overworld
Warhammer 40,000: Chaos Gate - Daemonhunters
Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf
Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf DLC - Drenn Redblade
Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf DLC - Exceptional Card Pack
Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf DLC - Saga of the Great Awakening
Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf DLC - Wrath of the Damned
Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Realms of Ruin Ultimate Edition
WARSAW
We Happy Few Season Pass
We Were Here Too
Where the Water Tastes Like Wine
White Noise 2
Who Pressed Mute on Uncle Marcus?
WRC 7
WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS
X-COM: Complete Pack (including X-COM: UFO Defense + X-COM: Apocalypse + X-COM: Enforcer + X-COM: Interceptor + X-COM: Terror from the Deep)
XCOM: Enemy Unknown Complete Edition
XEL
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack (including X-Morph: Defense + X-Morph: Defense - European Assault + X-Morph: Defense - Survival Of The Fittest + X-Morph: Defense - Last Bastion)
Yakuza 4 Remastered
Yakuza: Like a Dragon
Zoeti
​
Other platforms:
Command & Conquer Remastered Collection (ORIGINkey)
Liberated (GOG key)
STAR WARS: Squadrons (Origin)
Wanderlust Travel Stories (GOG key)
​
#########################################################

My Wishlist: (prefer gift links for bolded games)

​
Field of Glory II: Medieval
Field of Glory II: Medieval - Reconquista
Field of Glory II: Medieval - Rise of the Swiss
Field of Glory II: Medieval - Storm of Arrows
Field of Glory II: Medieval - Sublime Porte
Field of Glory II: Medieval - Swords and Scimitars
Field of Glory: Empires - Persia 550 - 330 BCE DLC
A Hat in Time
ACE COMBAT ASSAULT HORIZON Enhanced Edition
American Truck Simulator
Apotheon
Ash of Gods: The Way
Astebreed: Definitive Edition
Astrea: Six-Sided Oracles
Automobilista 2
Barotrauma
Book of Hours
Bosorka
Bread & Fred
Capcom Arcade Stadium
Capcom Arcade Stadium 2
Cardboard Town
Cathedral
Chambers of Devious Design
CLANNAD
clash: Artifacts of chaos
Cosmo's Quickstop
Crusader kings 3
DARK SOULS*
DARK SOULS II
DARK SOULS III*
Dead by Daylight
Dead Estate
Deep Rock Galactic
Demonologist
DIABLO 4 PC
DIRT 5
Doctor Who: The Adventure Games
Double Dragon Gaiden: Rise of the Dragons
Euro Truck Simulator 2
F1 2018
F1 2020, 2019, 2017, 2016, 2012, 2011
Fable Anniversary
Fly Punch Boom!
Game of Thrones - A Telltale Games Series
Gears 5
Ghost Song
Gotham Knights
Grindstone
Guardians of Holme
Hell let loose
Hi-Fi RUSH
HUMANKIND
HyperParasite
Life Is Strange Complete Season
LOOT RIVER*
Maniac
monster hunter rise
monster hunter world
NBA 2k16, 2k17
Nioh 2 COMPLETE
Nobody Saves the World
Nuclear Blaze
One Hand Clapping
Pan'orama
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy
Pistol Whip
Poker night
poker night 2
quantum break
Resident Evil Village*
Revival: Recolonization
rFactor 2
Rivals of Aether
River City Girls 2
River City Girls Zero
Rocket League
Roguelands
satisfactory
Shadow of the Tomb Raider
slay the spire
Songbird Symphony
Spiderman remaster
Spyro Reignited Trilogy
Stardew Valley
stray blade
The Knight Witch
The Last Remnant
Tiny tina's wonderlands chaotic great edition
Untamed Tactics
Victoria 3
VTOL VR
Wings of Glory
Witchtastic
Wizard of Legend
World Turtles
WWE 2K16, 2K17, 2K18, 2K19, 2K20, 2k23
Yakuza kiwami 2
ZERO Sievert
​

other humble choice title games

#########################################################
​

Note: for some games from humble I might ask for gift links. There is a rumor 3 years ago that humble bans users due to making gift links only. I make gift links every week, never have any issues. I have no idea why humble would ever ban its customers for using a feature it provides to its custimers.

Here is a guide how to make gift links from support.Humblebundle.com: https://support.humblebundle.com/hc/en-us/articles/202712460-Purchasing-and-Sending-Gifts

I do not believe humble teaches you how to make gift links, so it can ban you, lol

Region is NA.

If you have my wishlist games, Chat with me anytime. Only accept games from your own collection.

My REPs: 200+ successful trades, stopped tracking after 202.

​

Wishlist is in the end of this post

My steam games for trade (Can make gift links if possible):

Added recently:

Miasma Chronicles
Risk of Rain 2
Empyrion - Galactic Survival
Warhammer 40,000: Battlesector
Littlewood
One Hand Clapping
Ultimate Chicken Horse
Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition
Mad Max
MORTAL KOMBAT XL
Mortal Kombat 11: Ultimate
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
Middle-Earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
Gotham Knights
Back 4 Blood
Batman™: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
Batman™: Arkham Asylum GOTY Edition
Batman™: Arkham City GOTY Edition
Batman™: Arkham Origins
.hack//G.U. Last Recode
GOD EATER 3
PAC-MAN MUSEUM+
TEKKEN 7
Dragon Knight (delisted, 18+, PM for price)
Hell Girls (delisted, 18+, PM for price)
Super Star (delisted, 18+, PM for price)
​

Steam games:

9 Years of Shadows
A Juggler's Tale
A Plague Tale: Innocence
ABZU
Aces and Adventures
Ad Infinitum
Afterimage
Agent in Depth
Alchemist's Castle
Alchemy Garden
Aliens vs. Predator Collection ( includes Aliens vs. Predator + Aliens vs Predator Swarm Map Pack + Aliens vs Predator: Bug Hunt Pack)
Aliens: Fireteam Elite
Amanda the Adventurer
AMID EVIL
Amnesia: The Bunker
Anuchard
Aragami 2
Arcade Paradise
Arise: A Simple Story
Armello
Army Men RTS
Assault Suit Leynos
Astronarch
Autonauts vs Piratebots
Battlecruisers
Beacon Pines
Big Pharma
BIOMUTANT
Bionic Commando Rearmed
Black Paradox
Black Skylands
Blade Assault
Blood And Zombies
Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
Borderlands 3: Super Deluxe Edition
Boundless
BPM: Bullets Per Minute
Bravery and Greed
Brawlout
Castle on the Coast
Cats in Time
Caveblazers
Chicka Wars Chicken Meat (delisted)
Children of Silentown
CHIVALRY 2
Citizen Sleeper
CivCity: Rome
Click and Slay
CODE VEIN
Colt Canyon
Conan Chop Chop
Concept Destruction
Construction Simulator (2015) Deluxe Edition
Cookie Cutter
Corridor Z
Cosmonautica
Crayon Physics Deluxe
CROSSBOW: Bloodnight
Cultist Simulator
Curse of the Dead Gods
Dagon - The Eldritch Box DLC
Dark Deity
Dead Age
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Death Squared
Deceive Inc.
Depraved
Descenders
Desperados III
Destiny 2: Beyond Light DLC
Destroy All Humans! 2 - Reprobed
Destroyer: The U-Boat Hunter
Detached: Non-VR Edition
DEVOUR
Dicey Dungeons
Disciples: Liberation
Disco Elysium - The Final Cut
Dishonored Definitive Edition
Distant Worlds Universe
Doctor Strange Defenders Skin
Double Cross
Doughlings: Arcade
Doughlings: Invasion
Dragon Knight (delisted, 18+)
Draw Slasher
Drawful 2
Due Process
Dungeons 2 - Complete Edition
Dusk
EDGE OF ETERNITY
Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising
El Hijo
Emily is Away <3
Encased
Endless Space 2
Epic Chef
ETERNAL THREADS
Exorder
Expeditions: Rome
Fashion Police Squad
Firegirl: Hack 'n Splash Rescue
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fling to the Finish
Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
Foretales
FOREWARNED
Forged Battalion
Fortissimo FA INTL Ver
Founders' Fortune
Friends vs Friends
From Space
Full Metal Furies
Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
GameGuru Classic
Garfield Kart - Furious Racing
Generation Zero
Geometric Sniper
Ghost 1.0
Gloria Victis
Go Home Dinosaurs!
Going Under
Golf Gang
Good knight
GRID Ultimate Edition
GRIME
Grow: Song of the Evertree
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
Guns & Fishes
Guts and Glory
Hack 'n' Slash bundle (including Hack 'n' Slash + Hack 'n' Slash Soundtrack + Spacebase GIFT)
Hardspace: Shipbreaker
Heart Fragment - Book Two: Belief Fragments (Shannon & Lana)
Hedon Bloodrite
Hell Girls (delisted, 18+)
Hell Pie
Hellbound
HERO'S HOUR
Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
Hokko Life
Hollow Knight
Honey, I Joined a Cult
Hot Brass
Hotshot Racing
How to Sing to Open Your Heart
HUMANKIND™ Definitive Edition
Hyper Gunsport
I’m not a Monster
ibb & obb (steam inventory gift)
Internet Cafe Simulator
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Intravenous
Intruders: Hide and Seek
Iron Danger
Iron Harvest
Izmir: An Independence Simulator
Joggernauts
JURASSIC WORLD EVOLUTION 2
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition
Just Cause 4 Complete Edition
JYDGE
Katamari Damacy REROLL
Kerbal Space Program
Killsquad
Kraken Academy!!
Labirinto 2
Lacuna – A Sci-Fi Noir Adventure
Last Oasis
Late Shift
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Legend of Keepers
Legion TD 2 - Multiplayer Tower Defense
Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
Let Them Come
Life is Strange 2 Complete Season (incl. Mascot Bundle DLC)
Little Misfortune
Little Orpheus
Loddlenaut
Lords and Villeins
Lost Planet 3 Complete Pack
Lost Ruins
Lust for Darkness
Lust from Beyond: M Edition
MageQuit
Maid of Sker
Mainlining
Mediterranea Inferno
MEEPLE STATION
Meow Express
Merchant of the Skies
Metal: Hellsinger
Metro Exodus
Midnight Fight Express
Midnight Ghost Hunt
Mini Metro
Mini motor Racing EVO (delisted)
MirrorMoon EP
Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp
Monster Sanctuary
Monster Train
Monster Train: The Last Divinity DLC
Moon Hunters
Moonlighter
Morbid: The Seven Acolytes
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
Moving Out - Movers in Paradise DLC
Mr. Prepper
Murder by Numbers
My Friendly Neighborhood
My Time At Portia
Mythic Ocean
Nadir: A Grimdark Deckbuilder
Necromunda Hired Gun
NecroWorm
Neverinth
Neverout
Nickelodeon All Star Brawl
Nobody Saves the World
Non-Stop Raiders
Northgard
Oaken
Obduction
Of Orcs And Men
Offworld Trading Company
OLLIOLLI WORLD - RAD EDITION
One Hand Clapping
Orbital Racer
Othercide
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Outward Definitive Edition
Outward The Soroboreans DLC + soundtrack (DLC only)
Override
Overture
Ozymandias
Paint the Town Red
Partial Control
Patch Quest
Pathfinder: Kingmaker Enhanced Plus Edition (NA only) + Royal Ascension DLC + The Wildcards DLC
Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous - Enhanced Edition
Pathfinders: Memories
Pathway
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Per Asperatrar
Pilgrims
Pill Baby
Pixplode
Planet TD
Port Royale 3 Gold
PowerBeatsVR
Prodeus
Project CARS (delisted)
Project Chemistry
Project Nimbus: Complete Edition
Project Winter
Propagation VR - Co-op
Propnight
Proteus
PULSAR: The Lost Colony
Pumped BMX +
Quadrata
Quantum Break
Radio Commander
Ragnarock
Railroad Corporation
rain world
Rebel Inc: Escalation
Re-Legion
Remnant: From the Ashes - Complete Edition
Remnants of Naezith
Resident Evil Revelations
Resident Evil Revelations 2
Reventure
Revita
RIOT - Civil Unrest
Road 96
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
ROGUE LORDS
Roguebook
RollerCoaster Tycoon 2: Triple Thrill Pack
RPG Maker VX
Rubber Bandits
RUINER
Rym 9000
Saints Row
Sakura Succubus, 18+
Sakura Succubus 2, 18+
Sakura Succubus 3, 18+
Sakura Succubus 4, 18+
Sakura Succubus 5, 18+
Sakura Succubus 6, 18+
Sakura Swim Club, 18+
Sam & Max: Devil's Playhouse
Scorn
SCP : Secret Files
Secret Neighbor: Hello Neighbor Multiplayer
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Shadow Tactics: Aiko's Choice
Shady Part of Me
Shing!
Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate
Sid Meier's Railroads!
Siege Survival: Gloria Victis
Skullgirls 2nd Encore
Slinger VR
Smile For Me
Sniper Elite 3
Sniper Elite 4
Snowtopia
Sorcerer King: Rivals
Soul Searching
Soulblight
Souldiers
Soulstice
Spellcaster University
Spirit Hunter: Death Mark
Spirit of the Island
Stacking
Starbound
Starpoint Gemini Warlords
Steelrising
Stirring Abyss
Strider
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
SuchArt!
Sunlight
Super Chicken Catchers
Super Magbot
Super Star (delisted)
SUPERHOT: MIND CONTROL DELETE
Surviving the Aftermath
Sword Legacy Omen
SYMMETRYro
Symphony of War: The Nephilim Saga
Tails Noir
Telefrag VR
TEMTEM
Terraformers
The Amazing American Circus
The Ascent
The Beast Inside
The Callisto Protocol
The Dark Pictures Anthology: Man of Medan
The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes
The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope
The Deed II
The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos
The Excavation of Hob's Barrow
The Golf Club 2019 Featuring PGA TOUR
The Gunk
The Legend of Tianding
The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante
The Long Dark
The Outer Worlds: Spacer's Choice Edition
The Pale Beyond
The Quarry
The Red Lantern
The Serpent Rogue
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
The Witcher: Enhanced Edition (steam inventory gift)
The Witness
The Wolf Among Us
There Is No Light
Ticket to Ride
Tin Can
Titan Souls
TOEM
Tools Up!
Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt
Traffic Jams
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Trek to Yomi
Tribes of Midgard
Twilight Struggle
Twin Mirror
Two Point Campus
Ultimate Chicken Horse
Underland: The Climb
Unity of Command: Stalingrad Campaign
UnMetal
Vanishing Realms
Victoria 3
War for the Overworld
Warhammer 40,000: Chaos Gate - Daemonhunters
Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf
Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf DLC - Drenn Redblade
Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf DLC - Exceptional Card Pack
Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf DLC - Saga of the Great Awakening
Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf DLC - Wrath of the Damned
Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Realms of Ruin Ultimate Edition
WARSAW
We Happy Few Season Pass
We Were Here Too
Where the Water Tastes Like Wine
White Noise 2
Who Pressed Mute on Uncle Marcus?
WRC 7
WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS
X-COM: Complete Pack (including X-COM: UFO Defense + X-COM: Apocalypse + X-COM: Enforcer + X-COM: Interceptor + X-COM: Terror from the Deep)
XCOM: Enemy Unknown Complete Edition
XEL
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack (including X-Morph: Defense + X-Morph: Defense - European Assault + X-Morph: Defense - Survival Of The Fittest + X-Morph: Defense - Last Bastion)
Yakuza 4 Remastered
Yakuza: Like a Dragon
Zoeti
​
Other platforms:
Command & Conquer Remastered Collection (ORIGINkey)
Liberated (GOG key)
STAR WARS: Squadrons (Origin)
Wanderlust Travel Stories (GOG key)
​
#########################################################

My Wishlist: (prefer gift links for bolded games)

​
Field of Glory II: Medieval
Field of Glory II: Medieval - Reconquista
Field of Glory II: Medieval - Rise of the Swiss
Field of Glory II: Medieval - Storm of Arrows
Field of Glory II: Medieval - Sublime Porte
Field of Glory II: Medieval - Swords and Scimitars
Field of Glory: Empires - Persia 550 - 330 BCE DLC
A Hat in Time
ACE COMBAT ASSAULT HORIZON Enhanced Edition
American Truck Simulator
Apotheon
Ash of Gods: The Way
Astebreed: Definitive Edition
Astrea: Six-Sided Oracles
Automobilista 2
Barotrauma
Book of Hours
Bosorka
Cardboard Town
Cathedral
Chambers of Devious Design
CLANNAD
clash: Artifacts of chaos
Cosmo's Quickstop
Crusader kings 3
DARK SOULS*
DARK SOULS II
DARK SOULS III*
Dead by Daylight
Dead Estate
Deep Rock Galactic
Demonologist
DIABLO 4 PC
DIRT 5
Doctor Who: The Adventure Games
Double Dragon Gaiden: Rise of the Dragons
Euro Truck Simulator 2
F1 2018
F1 2020, 2019, 2017, 2016, 2012, 2011
Fable Anniversary
Fly Punch Boom!
Game of Thrones - A Telltale Games Series
Gears 5
Ghost Song
Gotham Knights
Guardians of Holme
Hell let loose
Hi-Fi RUSH
HUMANKIND
HyperParasite
Life Is Strange Complete Season
LOOT RIVER*
Maniac
monster hunter rise
monster hunter world
NBA 2k16, 2k17
Nioh 2 COMPLETE
Nobody Saves the World
Nuclear Blaze
One Hand Clapping
Pan'orama
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy
Pistol Whip
Poker night
poker night 2
quantum break
Resident Evil Village*
rFactor 2
Rivals of Aether
River City Girls 2
River City Girls Zero
Rocket League
Roguelands
satisfactory
Shadow of the Tomb Raider
slay the spire
Songbird Symphony
Spiderman remaster
Spyro Reignited Trilogy
Stardew Valley
stray blade
The Knight Witch
The Last Remnant
Tiny tina's wonderlands chaotic great edition
Untamed Tactics
Victoria 3
VTOL VR
Wings of Glory
Witchtastic
Wizard of Legend
World Turtles
WWE 2K16, 2K17, 2K18, 2K19, 2K20, 2k23
Yakuza kiwami 2
ZERO Sievert
​

other humble choice title games

#########################################################
​

Note: for some games from humble I might ask for gift links. There is a rumor 3 years ago that humble bans users due to making gift links only. I make gift links every week, never have any issues. I have no idea why humble would ever ban its customers for using a feature it provides to its custimers.

Here is a guide how to make gift links from support.Humblebundle.com: https://support.humblebundle.com/hc/en-us/articles/202712460-Purchasing-and-Sending-Gifts

I do not believe humble teaches you how to make gift links, so it can ban you, lol

Region is NA.

If you have my wishlist games, Chat with me anytime. Only accept games from your own collection.

My REPs: 200+ successful trades, stopped tracking after 202.

​

Wishlist is in the end of this post

My steam games for trade (Can make gift links if possible):

Added recently:

Miasma Chronicles
Risk of Rain 2
Empyrion - Galactic Survival
Warhammer 40,000: Battlesector
Littlewood
One Hand Clapping
Ultimate Chicken Horse
Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition
Mad Max
MORTAL KOMBAT XL
Mortal Kombat 11: Ultimate
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor GOTY
Middle-Earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition
Injustice 2 Legendary Edition
Gotham Knights
Back 4 Blood
Batman™: Arkham Knight Premium Edition
Batman™: Arkham Asylum GOTY Edition
Batman™: Arkham City GOTY Edition
Batman™: Arkham Origins
.hack//G.U. Last Recode
GOD EATER 3
PAC-MAN MUSEUM+
TEKKEN 7
Dragon Knight (delisted, 18+, PM for price)
Hell Girls (delisted, 18+, PM for price)
Super Star (delisted, 18+, PM for price)
​

Steam games:

9 Years of Shadows
A Juggler's Tale
A Plague Tale: Innocence
ABZU
Aces and Adventures
Ad Infinitum
Afterimage
Agent in Depth
Alchemist's Castle
Alchemy Garden
Aliens vs. Predator Collection ( includes Aliens vs. Predator + Aliens vs Predator Swarm Map Pack + Aliens vs Predator: Bug Hunt Pack)
Aliens: Fireteam Elite
Amanda the Adventurer
AMID EVIL
Amnesia: The Bunker
Anuchard
Aragami 2
Arcade Paradise
Arise: A Simple Story
Armello
Army Men RTS
Assault Suit Leynos
Astronarch
Autonauts vs Piratebots
Battlecruisers
Beacon Pines
Big Pharma
BIOMUTANT
Bionic Commando Rearmed
Black Paradox
Black Skylands
Blade Assault
Blood And Zombies
Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night
Borderlands 3: Super Deluxe Edition
Boundless
BPM: Bullets Per Minute
Bravery and Greed
Brawlout
Castle on the Coast
Cats in Time
Caveblazers
Chicka Wars Chicken Meat (delisted)
Children of Silentown
CHIVALRY 2
Citizen Sleeper
CivCity: Rome
Click and Slay
CODE VEIN
Colt Canyon
Conan Chop Chop
Concept Destruction
Construction Simulator (2015) Deluxe Edition
Cookie Cutter
Corridor Z
Cosmonautica
Crayon Physics Deluxe
CROSSBOW: Bloodnight
Cultist Simulator
Curse of the Dead Gods
Dagon - The Eldritch Box DLC
Dark Deity
Dead Age
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition
Death Squared
Deceive Inc.
Depraved
Descenders
Desperados III
Destiny 2: Beyond Light DLC
Destroy All Humans! 2 - Reprobed
Destroyer: The U-Boat Hunter
Detached: Non-VR Edition
DEVOUR
Dicey Dungeons
Disciples: Liberation
Disco Elysium - The Final Cut
Dishonored Definitive Edition
Distant Worlds Universe
Doctor Strange Defenders Skin
Double Cross
Doughlings: Arcade
Doughlings: Invasion
Dragon Knight (delisted, 18+)
Draw Slasher
Drawful 2
Due Process
Dungeons 2 - Complete Edition
Dusk
EDGE OF ETERNITY
Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising
El Hijo
Emily is Away <3
Encased
Endless Space 2
Epic Chef
ETERNAL THREADS
Exorder
Expeditions: Rome
Fashion Police Squad
Firegirl: Hack 'n Splash Rescue
First Class Trouble
Five Dates
Fling to the Finish
Fobia - St. Dinfna Hotel
Foretales
FOREWARNED
Forged Battalion
Fortissimo FA INTL Ver
Founders' Fortune
Friends vs Friends
From Space
Full Metal Furies
Fun with Ragdolls: The Game
GameGuru Classic
Garfield Kart - Furious Racing
Generation Zero
Geometric Sniper
Ghost 1.0
Gloria Victis
Go Home Dinosaurs!
Going Under
Golf Gang
Good knight
GRID Ultimate Edition
GRIME
Grow: Song of the Evertree
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload
Guns & Fishes
Guts and Glory
Hack 'n' Slash bundle (including Hack 'n' Slash + Hack 'n' Slash Soundtrack + Spacebase GIFT)
Hardspace: Shipbreaker
Heart Fragment - Book Two: Belief Fragments (Shannon & Lana)
Hedon Bloodrite
Hell Girls (delisted, 18+)
Hell Pie
Hellbound
HERO'S HOUR
Hidden & Dangerous 2: Courage Under Fire
Hidden & Dangerous: Action Pack
Hokko Life
Hollow Knight
Honey, I Joined a Cult
Hot Brass
Hotshot Racing
How to Sing to Open Your Heart
HUMANKIND™ Definitive Edition
Hyper Gunsport
I’m not a Monster
ibb & obb (steam inventory gift)
Internet Cafe Simulator
Interplanetary: Enhanced Edition
Intravenous
Intruders: Hide and Seek
Iron Danger
Iron Harvest
Izmir: An Independence Simulator
Joggernauts
JURASSIC WORLD EVOLUTION 2
Just Cause 3 XXL Edition
Just Cause 4 Complete Edition
JYDGE
Katamari Damacy REROLL
Kerbal Space Program
Killsquad
Kraken Academy!!
Labirinto 2
Lacuna – A Sci-Fi Noir Adventure
Last Oasis
Late Shift
Lawn Mowing Simulator
Legend of Keepers
Legion TD 2 - Multiplayer Tower Defense
Leisure Suit Larry - Wet Dreams Don't Dry
Let Them Come
Life is Strange 2 Complete Season (incl. Mascot Bundle DLC)
Little Misfortune
Little Orpheus
Loddlenaut
Lords and Villeins
Lost Planet 3 Complete Pack
Lost Ruins
Lust for Darkness
Lust from Beyond: M Edition
MageQuit
Maid of Sker
Mainlining
Mediterranea Inferno
MEEPLE STATION
Meow Express
Merchant of the Skies
Metal: Hellsinger
Metro Exodus
Midnight Fight Express
Midnight Ghost Hunt
Mini Metro
Mini motor Racing EVO (delisted)
MirrorMoon EP
Monster Prom 2: Monster Camp
Monster Sanctuary
Monster Train
Monster Train: The Last Divinity DLC
Moon Hunters
Moonlighter
Morbid: The Seven Acolytes
Motorcycle Mechanic Simulator 2021
Moving Out - Movers in Paradise DLC
Mr. Prepper
Murder by Numbers
My Friendly Neighborhood
My Time At Portia
Mythic Ocean
Nadir: A Grimdark Deckbuilder
Necromunda Hired Gun
NecroWorm
Neverinth
Neverout
Nickelodeon All Star Brawl
Nobody Saves the World
Non-Stop Raiders
Northgard
Oaken
Obduction
Of Orcs And Men
Offworld Trading Company
OLLIOLLI WORLD - RAD EDITION
One Hand Clapping
Orbital Racer
Othercide
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale
Outward Definitive Edition
Outward The Soroboreans DLC + soundtrack (DLC only)
Override
Overture
Ozymandias
Paint the Town Red
Partial Control
Patch Quest
Pathfinder: Kingmaker Enhanced Plus Edition (NA only) + Royal Ascension DLC + The Wildcards DLC
Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous - Enhanced Edition
Pathfinders: Memories
Pathway
Peaky Blinders: Mastermind
Per Asperatrar
Pilgrims
Pill Baby
Pixplode
Planet TD
Port Royale 3 Gold
PowerBeatsVR
Prodeus
Project CARS (delisted)
Project Chemistry
Project Nimbus: Complete Edition
Project Winter
Propagation VR - Co-op
Propnight
Proteus
PULSAR: The Lost Colony
Pumped BMX +
Quadrata
Quantum Break
Radio Commander
Ragnarock
Railroad Corporation
rain world
Rebel Inc: Escalation
Re-Legion
Remnant: From the Ashes - Complete Edition
Remnants of Naezith
Resident Evil Revelations
Resident Evil Revelations 2
Reventure
Revita
RIOT - Civil Unrest
Road 96
Roarr! Jurassic Edition
ROGUE LORDS
Roguebook
RollerCoaster Tycoon 2: Triple Thrill Pack
RPG Maker VX
Rubber Bandits
RUINER
Rym 9000
Saints Row
Sakura Succubus, 18+
Sakura Succubus 2, 18+
Sakura Succubus 3, 18+
Sakura Succubus 4, 18+
Sakura Succubus 5, 18+
Sakura Succubus 6, 18+
Sakura Swim Club, 18+
Sam & Max: Devil's Playhouse
Scorn
SCP : Secret Files
Secret Neighbor: Hello Neighbor Multiplayer
SEUM: Speedrunners from Hell
Shadow Tactics: Aiko's Choice
Shady Part of Me
Shing!
Shotgun King: The Final Checkmate
Sid Meier's Railroads!
Siege Survival: Gloria Victis
Skullgirls 2nd Encore
Slinger VR
Smile For Me
Sniper Elite 3
Sniper Elite 4
Snowtopia
Sorcerer King: Rivals
Soul Searching
Soulblight
Souldiers
Soulstice
Spellcaster University
Spirit Hunter: Death Mark
Spirit of the Island
Stacking
Starbound
Starpoint Gemini Warlords
Steelrising
Stirring Abyss
Strider
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones
SuchArt!
Sunlight
Super Chicken Catchers
Super Magbot
Super Star (delisted)
SUPERHOT: MIND CONTROL DELETE
Surviving the Aftermath
Sword Legacy Omen
SYMMETRYro
Symphony of War: The Nephilim Saga
Tails Noir
Telefrag VR
TEMTEM
Terraformers
The Amazing American Circus
The Ascent
The Beast Inside
The Callisto Protocol
The Dark Pictures Anthology: Man of Medan
The Dark Pictures Anthology: House of Ashes
The Dark Pictures Anthology: Little Hope
The Deed II
The Dungeon Of Naheulbeuk: The Amulet Of Chaos
The Excavation of Hob's Barrow
The Golf Club 2019 Featuring PGA TOUR
The Gunk
The Legend of Tianding
The Life and Suffering of Sir Brante
The Long Dark
The Outer Worlds: Spacer's Choice Edition
The Pale Beyond
The Quarry
The Red Lantern
The Serpent Rogue
The USB Stick Found in the Grass
The Witcher: Enhanced Edition (steam inventory gift)
The Witness
The Wolf Among Us
There Is No Light
Ticket to Ride
Tin Can
Titan Souls
TOEM
Tools Up!
Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt
Traffic Jams
Train Station Renovation
Treasure Hunter Simulator
Trek to Yomi
Tribes of Midgard
Twilight Struggle
Twin Mirror
Two Point Campus
Ultimate Chicken Horse
Underland: The Climb
Unity of Command: Stalingrad Campaign
UnMetal
Vanishing Realms
Victoria 3
War for the Overworld
Warhammer 40,000: Chaos Gate - Daemonhunters
Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf
Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf DLC - Drenn Redblade
Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf DLC - Exceptional Card Pack
Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf DLC - Saga of the Great Awakening
Warhammer 40,000: Space Wolf DLC - Wrath of the Damned
Warhammer Age of Sigmar: Realms of Ruin Ultimate Edition
WARSAW
We Happy Few Season Pass
We Were Here Too
Where the Water Tastes Like Wine
White Noise 2
Who Pressed Mute on Uncle Marcus?
WRC 7
WWE 2K BATTLEGROUNDS
X-COM: Complete Pack (including X-COM: UFO Defense + X-COM: Apocalypse + X-COM: Enforcer + X-COM: Interceptor + X-COM: Terror from the Deep)
XCOM: Enemy Unknown Complete Edition
XEL
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack (including X-Morph: Defense + X-Morph: Defense - European Assault + X-Morph: Defense - Survival Of The Fittest + X-Morph: Defense - Last Bastion)
Yakuza 4 Remastered
Yakuza: Like a Dragon
Zoeti
​
Other platforms:
Command & Conquer Remastered Collection (ORIGINkey)
Liberated (GOG key)
STAR WARS: Squadrons (Origin)
Wanderlust Travel Stories (GOG key)
​
#########################################################

My Wishlist: (prefer gift links for bolded games)

​
Field of Glory II: Medieval
Field of Glory II: Medieval - Reconquista
Field of Glory II: Medieval - Rise of the Swiss
Field of Glory II: Medieval - Storm of Arrows
Field of Glory II: Medieval - Sublime Porte
Field of Glory II: Medieval - Swords and Scimitars
Field of Glory: Empires - Persia 550 - 330 BCE DLC
A Hat in Time
ACE COMBAT ASSAULT HORIZON Enhanced Edition
American Truck Simulator
Apotheon
Ash of Gods: The Way
Astebreed: Definitive Edition
Astrea: Six-Sided Oracles
Automobilista 2
Barotrauma
Book of Hours
Bosorka
Cardboard Town
Cathedral
Chambers of Devious Design
CLANNAD
clash: Artifacts of chaos
Cosmo's Quickstop
Crusader kings 3
DARK SOULS*
DARK SOULS II
DARK SOULS III*
Dead by Daylight
Dead Estate
Deep Rock Galactic
Demonologist
DIABLO 4 PC
DIRT 5
Doctor Who: The Adventure Games
Double Dragon Gaiden: Rise of the Dragons
Euro Truck Simulator 2
F1 2018
F1 2020, 2019, 2017, 2016, 2012, 2011
Fable Anniversary
Fly Punch Boom!
Game of Thrones - A Telltale Games Series
Gears 5
Ghost Song
Gotham Knights
Guardians of Holme
Hell let loose
Hi-Fi RUSH
HUMANKIND
HyperParasite
Life Is Strange Complete Season
LOOT RIVER*
Maniac
monster hunter rise
monster hunter world
NBA 2k16, 2k17
Nioh 2 COMPLETE
Nobody Saves the World
Nuclear Blaze
One Hand Clapping
Pan'orama
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy
Pistol Whip
Poker night
poker night 2
quantum break
Resident Evil Village*
rFactor 2
Rivals of Aether
River City Girls 2
River City Girls Zero
Rocket League
Roguelands
satisfactory
Shadow of the Tomb Raider
slay the spire
Songbird Symphony
Spiderman remaster
Spyro Reignited Trilogy
Stardew Valley
stray blade
The Knight Witch
The Last Remnant
Tiny tina's wonderlands chaotic great edition
Untamed Tactics
Victoria 3
VTOL VR
Wings of Glory
Witchtastic
Wizard of Legend
World Turtles
WWE 2K16, 2K17, 2K18, 2K19, 2K20, 2k23
Yakuza kiwami 2
ZERO Sievert
​

other humble choice title games

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Note: for some games from humble I might ask for gift links. There is a rumor 3 years ago that humble bans users due to making gift links only. I make gift links every week, never have any issues. I have no idea why humble would ever ban its customers for using a feature it provides to its custimers.

Here is a guide how to make gift links from support.Humblebundle.com: https://support.humblebundle.com/hc/en-us/articles/202712460-Purchasing-and-Sending-Gifts

I do not believe humble teaches you how to make gift links, so it can ban you, lol

Quick Note: added Necrom Section. also note this time it is 12 days, not usual 7 :)
Activation: ingame Crown Store -> ESO Plus tab → click “Free Trial!”.
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INSTANT or QUICK Freebies:
Dungeons DLC: - Shadow of the Hist: Heroic personality -- Enter either the Ruins of Mazzatun or the Cradle of Shadows (Shadowfen) - Horns of the Reach: Bullhorns emote -- Enter either Falkreath Hold or Bloodroot Forge (Craglorn) - Dragon Bones: hat: Renegade Dragon Priest Mask -- Enter either Fang Lair or Scalecaller Peak (Bangkorai/Stormhaven) - Wolfhunter: Werewolf Hunter Hat -- Enter either Moon Hunter Keep or March of Sacrifices (Reaper’s March/Greenshade) - Wrathstone: hat: Ayleid Royal Crown -- Enter either Frostvault or Depths of Malatar (Eastmarch/Gold Coast) - Scalebreaker: outfit style: Dread-Aurelian Mask -- Enter either Lair of Maarselok or Moongrave Fane (Grathwood /Northern Elsweyr) - Harrowstorm: Emote: Wickerman Mishap -- Enter either Unhallowed Grave or Icereach (Bangkorai/Wrothgar) - StoneThorn: Pet: Energetic Dwarven Shock-Spider -- Enter either Castle Thorn or Stone Garden (Western Skyrim/Blackreach: Greymoor Caverns) - Flames of Ambition: Outfit weapon style Fire-Forged Maul -- Enter either The Cauldron or Black Drake Villa (Deshaan/Gold Coast) - Waking Flame: Scorion Pyreling non-combat pet – Enter either Red Petal Bastion or the Dread Cellar (Glenumbra/Blackwood) - Ascending Tide: Abyssal Embrace Face Markings - Enter either Coral Aerie or Shipwright's Regret (Summerset/Rivenspire) - Lost Depths: Mulberry Hermit Crab non-combat pet - Enter either Earthen Root Enclave or Graven Deep (both surface entries are in High Isle/Amenos, so if you don't own High Isle chapter use map to teleport inside or group with a friend, who is inside and teleport to them) - Scribes of Fate: has no “immediate” loyalty reward. Despite declaring the “Lost in the Woods” emote being granted for just visiting Bal Sunnar or Scrivener's Hall, actually it is rewarded on completing BOTH dungeons on Normal difficulty (relevant discussion: https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/629124/official-discussion-thread-scribes-of-fate-update-37-now-live-on-pc-mac ) Entry points: Bal Sunnar – Stonefalls & Scrivener's - Hall The Rift. - Scions of Ithelia - Bascially, nothing. Completing both Oathsworn Pit and Bedlam Veil in Normal yeilds you only 10 Achievement points, nothing more.
Game-maps.com has ESO+ group dungeons color-coded on the Tamriel map: https://game-maps.com/ESO/Tamriel-ESO-World-Map.asp
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Zone DLC:
- Orsinium: Pet: Echalette -- Enter Orsinium capital city (also: quests for Orzorga provisioning recipes, get Briarheart dagger quest reward for your StickerBook) - Thieves Guild: Pet: Jackal -- Enter Abah's Landing. Unlock TG skill line (also grants Thieves Guild Leathers costume) - Dark Brotherhood: Personality: Assassin -- Enter Gold Coast zone. Unlock DB skill line (the second quest in DB story unlocks the Shrouded Armor costume) - Clockwork City: Pet: Scintillant Dovah-Fly -- Enter the Brass Fortress (also do quests for provisioning recipes, the later are bound, so it worths the efforts). Collecting Precursor dummy fragments is up to you as it is quite time consuming and the dummy itself has too low HP. - Murkmire: Pet: Verdigris Haj Mota -- Enter Lilmoth (quest Death Among the Dead-Water rewards with a Fire Rock memento) - Dragonhold: Outfit Style: Topal Corsair Hat -- Enter Southern Elsweyr (questing unlocks other pages). Questing unlocks Mask of Alkosh hat and The Za’ji’s Dragonguard Uniform costume - Markarth: Outfit Style: Arkthzand Anfractuosity Shroud -- Enter The Reach (questing grants head and body markings, and Witchwise Headdress hat collectible) - The Deadlands – Oblivion Explorer’s Headwrap - Enter Fargrave for the first time (its’ wayshrine is unlocked) - Firesong- Firesong Obsidian Mask – Enter Galen
- Summerset: nothing immediate. fish in Artaeum for bound provisioning recipes (otherwise they are obtainable by purchasing Waterlogged Psijic Satchels, which is an expensive lottery), unlock Psijic skill line (progressing it also unlocks buying bound furnishing recipes at the Artaeum trader). Also one of three Antiquities leads for Music Box “In Dreams and Memories” drops in Summerset. And fast to obtain “Alinor Allemande” dance emote from the Antiquity lead.
- Elsweyr: nothing immediate. (Despite parts of Peryite Skeevemaster costume drop in Orcrest public dungeon, parts of a Grisly Mummy Tabby pet drop in Rimmen Necropolis all these are not bound and may be purchased from Guild Traders any time), zone quest unlocks Hall of the Lunar Champion housing (a free manor sized house!!), and Dragonslayer Style head & shoulders outfit styles. Three wings of the Hall of the Lunar Champion manor are unlocked by completing 1) Elsweyr story, 2) Dragonhold story, 3) completing both Lair of Maarselok and Moongrave Fane on normal difficulty. Also completing Sunspire Trial on normal unlocks purchases of the beautiful Akatosh Chancel doors (furnishing for housings) for 100K gold from Achievement furnisher in Rimmen.
- Greymoor - nothing immediate, but Antiquities are numerous.. It takes like 6 ..7 hours to level up Scrying and Excavation up to level 7 to be able to get mythics (faster moving speed is preferable – get crafted Adept Rider set or Coward's Gear set). I did it on 3 characters and stayed at Artaeum doing first greens, then cycling between greens and blues till a purple lead (one time per location) at level 5 scrying (normally 3..4 hours depending on how fast you do move). Then i preferred to stay at Artaeum for approx 3 more hours repeating green-blue cycles to get level 7 (the alternative is to go Green-Blue-Purple in the base game zones & Artaeum (purple part is non-repeatable on account) to unlock the 100,000 gold Al-Esh Ascension Coin lead, but you have to unlock Eyevea (by completing Mages Guild questline) and get 10 in scrying to dig for this gold), and, basically, as other zones are bigger and you would most likely have to kill mobs on your way – this method of skill line progression would take more time then staying in small cosy Artaeum. Well.. this is up to you to decide.
Alcast has a good & comprehensive Antiquties guide: https://alcasthq.com/eso-antiquities-system-guide-greymoor-chapte His guide also includes a link to the levelling guide, where author recommends green-blue-purple method. ESO Hub has good information about Mythics and theirs leads https://eso-hub.com/en/sets/category/mythic Friendly reminder: Mythics are reconstructable at any time (and theirs level is fixed CP160), but not deconstructable.
There are some cosmetic Antiquities items https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Antiquity_Leads#Cosmetics_and_Outfit_Styles
Also pick up the Alinor Allemande emote (Summerset), and, maybe Aldmeri Symphonia music box. Also get fancy crafting stations: Anvil of Old Orsinium, Druidic Provisioning Station, Daedric Enchanting Station, and the Shipbuilder's Woodworking Station. The Ebon Dwarven Wolf mount is 17 parts, so it might take you too much time to get them all in one week, though it is doable, if the random number generator is loyal to you. DisplayLeads addon is awesome and extremely helpful (https://www.esoui.com/downloads/info2651-DisplayLeads-withLocationInfo.html)
- Blackwood nothing seriously big, but you can get a free Bog Dog pet (Lost in the Wilds quest) and some nice furnishings (including a canoe). Companions are not on the table. To kill your time there is the 15 pieces Blackwood Tapestry antiquity furnishing (check Alcast for the guide if interested). Also Thrafey Debutante Gown is a stylish costume obatined with 50 Scaly Cloth Scraps (tradeable) fragments from the Silent Halls public dungeon.
- High Isle. Again, nothing immediate. Cosmetics include non-combat pet Jerall Rescue Dog acquired during Tales of Tribute questline, non-combat pet Coral Haj Mota: 25 Coral Haj Mota Decoys from the Spire Of The Crimson Coin and 25 Coral Haj Mota Lures from Ghost Haven Bay (these are tedious to get tradeable fragments)
Courtly Traveling Attire costume plus head and body marking you get during the zone story line quest Nighthunter's Cowl hat is one lead Antiquity
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- Necrom. Nothing immediate. Long term offers include: Emissaries Enclave - big house, 28 quests 1.5M gold, The Fate Scryer Costume – completing the quest “Chronicle of Fate”, shroom tender style - different style pages unlocked by achievements, new ToT desk – Almalexia. nix-ox steed mount would be hard or, probably impossible to get, I can not tell for sure (please comment on that), Abyssal Cephaliarch’s Face Art – completing the quest “A Hidden Fate”, Body Art – completing the quest “A Calamity of Fate”. Also The Prism of Moribund Sapience – completing the quest “In a Troubled House”. The Meln’s Soul Gem memento – completing the quest “Spirit of Fate”
Necrom Master Angler achievememnt unlocks Shroomtender Shoes style, though i normally do not mention Master Angler achievements for DLC zones, as catching all them rare fishies consumes the enormous amount time and only one other Master Angler achievement rewards directly - becoming the Deadlands Master Angler allows to purhcase a Sulfur Pool achievement furnishing. So them fishing shoes style is for the most reckless of you, daredevils! I don't have that much time to complete that. :
Other Shroomtender style pages are unlocked by doing all deleves, world bosses, quests and other activities in Necrom zones.
Berylglow Nix-Ox Steed mount requires the Savior of Necrom achievement with 5 coditions. The third of these is Complete all 3 Daily Job achievements for Necrom's Stalwart Protector one of three requirements for that is "Complete 30 Bastion Nymic Daily Quests for Ordinator Tandasea in Necrom" (i doubt participating in your friends' shared daily Nymic counts, if you have already completed your own daily Nymic, so, here, in my understanding, is the catch. please, correct me if i am wrong and 30 Nymic (as well as 30 WB and Delves dailies) can be done in a week) link: https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Savior_of_Necrom (these 30 Nymic dailies also unlock a Obsidian Dwarven Sphere pet, though, again, i doubt it can be done withing a week)
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UESP page with the images of loyalty rewards: https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:DLC_Loyalty_Rewards
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What works:
- Thieves Guild, Dark Brotherhood, and Psijic Guild skill lines skill line will persist, allowing looting Thieves Troves and Psijic portals. Blade of Woe still continues to function (Please, keep in mind that is per character! Psijic quest (it is long) unlocking the line (and subsequent ones (long too)) is fun only first 9 times.., after that it starts becoming annoying)
- Housing purchased in DLC zones will persist, on exiting the house you would not enter a DLC zone, but teleport back to the location from which you have teleported to your house
- Furnishings exceeding non-ESO+ limits will stay, but you will not be able to re-add them if accidentally put away
- you would be able to allocate/deallocate Skill Points (with respec or by loading an Armory build) in the TG/DB/Psijic/JC/Scrying/Excavation skills you have already unlocked while progressing these skill lines.
- Antiquities will still allow you to scry from the map (though I am not sure it was intended by Zenimax)
thanks go to u/LordAsheye for the instructions: https://www.reddit.com/elderscrollsonline/comments/10kdvem/comment/j5rqmpd/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
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What does not work:
- Jewelry Crafting skill line still requires Summerset (after ESO+ expires you can not access JC crafting stations if you don't own the DLC), but it makes a lot of sense to research Infused, Bloodthirsty and Swift traits for reconstructing stickerbook jewelry (thanks Kelinmiriel for this tip) as at any time you can buy the Transmute Station or visit your friends houses/guildhalls where the said station has been already deployed.
- You would not be able to further progress DB, TG and Psijic skill lines (if not maxed them) after free ESO+ trial ends.
- You can not play Tales of Trubute (if you have no access to High Isle) after trial end
- Companions of Blackwood and High Isle are decoupled from the zone for ESO+ Free trials (but, of course, work for the real subscriptions), Companions of Necrom are not accessible, because Necrom is the latest Chapter, which is not unlocked with ESO+ (trial or regular)
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OTHER EASY THINGS to do:
- re-log with each character to make materials they carry to go into the Crafting Bag (after event it will turn into "extract-only" mode)
- unlock TG, DB and Psijic skill lines for each of your characters (looting a thieves trove is enough to unlock the TG line, so if you are lucky to spot the thing that saves a trip to Hew's Bane)
- collect skyshards, lorebooks, unlock exploration and questing dyes and achievements, check achievement furnishers (as they offer quite a lot of inexpensive and nice furnishings)
(LovelyNorth has an excellent achievement furnishers visual guide: http://lovelynorth.com/achievementfurnishings/)
- dye your costumes (this is done per character, so the same costume may be dyed differently on different characters)
- dye your Companions costumes (if you have Blackwood or High Isle or Necrom and unlocked them Companions)
- refine your raw materials, preferably on a character with the best refining passives and Meticulous Disassembly green CP star slotted
- if you do crafting dailies, then pack your CraftBag with everything. I’d suggest depositing a LOT of style stones (basic ones are 15g each at vendors located near crafting stations), potency runes (again, vendors), Ta runes, Mudcrab Chitin and Violet Coprinus. If you craft furnishings stock up with furnishing materials as well.
- pack your houses with 2x storage (utilize 2x furnishing limits at houses of any size)
- do the treasure maps (might be purchased at the Guild Traders) pointing to otherwise restricted zones
- if you decided to train Antiquities, then acquire new and do the existing leads in the unlocked DLC zones (if you decide to max up Antiquities skill lines (for the Ultimate difficulty furnishing leads) - the easy way to get level 7 lead (Void-Crystal Anomaly furnishing) is to harvest nodes in Coldharbour, as it drops surprisingly often there from resource nodes)
- attune your crafting stations to Order's Wrath (High Isle), Law of Julianos (Wrothgar) , New Moon Acolyte (Southern Elsweyr) (also: Clever Alchemist, Wretched Vitality, Mechanical Acuity (CWC), Coldharbor Favorite, Stuhn's Favor, Heartland Conqueror, and Ancient Dragonguard are quite good options too (imho), but that is you, who decides on that matter and most of the GuildHalls normally have them crafting stations).
- it is worth mentioning you can open your geodes to use doubled (1000) transmute crystal limit (though after the event you would not be able to add new crystals unless you consume the existing ones to make theirs number to drop below the “normal” 500 limit)
- purchasing alchemy ingredients to pack your CraftBag with is up to you (this may help to level up new characters uber-fast using batches of pre-crafted Master Achemy Writs), as well as buying uncommon style materials (for future gear crafting Master Writs). However, for both of these purposes I’d suggest just to subscribe to ESO+.
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TIME-CONSUMING ACTIVITIES:
- collect Bound-On-Pickup group dungeons DLC gear for the collections book (unbound may be bought)
- quests and dungeons for rewards, achievements and collectibles (like Elsweyr free housing or Elsweyr+Dragonhold Epilogue free flying pet, undaunted trophies.. Pirharri the Smuggler assistant, etc etc..)
- doing DLC dungeons for bound gear, skillpoints, achievements (including skins for achievements in veteran DLC dungeons), motif pages drops and trophies
- if you are for good DPS sets: on normal Falkreath Hold (for Pillar of Nirn) is soloable, just block minotaurs heavy attacks. Frostvault (for Tzogvin's Warband) is soloable too, just get tanky to kill the troll. And you don’t need 60+ runs as you get armor pieces rather quick so you can reconstruct them later (for 50..60 crystals, not 25, but, anyway..). Weapons require more runs, though..
- doing DLC trials with friends for skins, gear and achievement. UESP: https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Trials
- Zones story quests reward with skillpoints (especially smaller zones: CWC -8, Murkmire – 7, Southern Elsweyr – 6+3, Markarth – 6+3, The Deadlands – 6+3, Firesong – 6+3 (6+3 means 6 from smaller zone DLC plus 3 from epilogue quests completing one year arc (if the appropriate big zone DLC story line completed))). (Thanks to u/RadioRy for this recommendation) Also: warning: it takes only several hours for these storylines if you rush the dialogues, however – rushing is not recommended if you are for stories or RP.
- do public dungeons group events in Summerset Isles, Northern Elsweyr, Greymoor, Blackwood, High Isle and Wrothgar for the skill points (Atoll of Immolation is, technically, a public dungeon too, but does not reward you with a skillpoint. Enter it from The Deadlands, not from Blackwood)
Game-Maps.com has the excellent public dungeons maps https://game-maps.com/ESO/ESO-Public-Dungeon.asp
On PC use the Urich's Skill Point Finder addon to check your quests, skyshards and dungeons skillpoints https://www.esoui.com/downloads/info1863-UrichsSkillPointFinder.html
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- check UESP full list of mementos: https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Mementos (“DLC and Chapters” is a sepatare section), maybe you would like to unlock some
- completing skill lines (DB, TG, Psijic)
- complete maps (do world bosses if you please)
- complete fishing Achievements
- do DLC dungeons with friends on veteran difficulty for skins, costumes, titles and other nice rewards
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Now some details about fashion for those, who might be interested in that stuff. Skip if not.
Five sections below do not include veteran hard-mode dungeons and trials rewards and achievements, as not 100% of the players do these activities. Let’s talk relatively easy things, OKay?
(Base Game, Morrowind, and Imperial City goodies are not included for the obvious reason – no connection with ESO+, though Shadowfen skeleton or Vvardenfell Scarlett Judge costume are mentioned in the comments each and every time). Dyes are too numerous, so I decided not to overload this document. Check UESP for dyes, please.
I also skipped titles, mementos and emotes to keep this text reasonably compact.
GETTING COSTUMES (not including the ones from the tradeable fragments)
- Antiquarian Field Garb & Antiquarian Robes - gained by progressing scrying and excavating antiquities - Regalia of the Orsimer King - completing Orsinium storyline quests - Cavalier of the Sworn Oath Old Orsinium Sentry Trinimac's Penitent Knight - questing in Wrothgar - Merchant Lord's Formal Regalia - obtained by progressing Thieves Guild story quest - Shrouded Armor - you get it at the very start of Dark Brotherhood story-line quests - Thieves Guild Leathers - you get it just by starting Thieves guild questline - Za'ji's Dragonguard Uniform - completing Southern Elsweyr questline - Oblivion Explorer Garb – obtained during The Deadlands zone story - Courtly Traveling Attire – complete High Isle zone story - Black Hand Robe – complete Dark Brotherhood story - The Fate Scryer Costume - obtained during Necrom zone quest
HATS (not including “instant” ones)
- Nighthunter's Cowl Hat – Antiquity on the High Isle - Ironclad Sarcoshroud – Antiquity in The Deadlands - Helm of the Black Fin – obtained during Blackwood zone quest line - Arkthzand Insight Vertex Shroud – Antiquity in Markarth DLC - Witchwise Headdress – obtained during The Reach story line quests - Dwemer Crown - the Antiquity lead drops from the group event boss in Nchuthnkarst public dungeon in Blackreach - Mask of Alkosh obtained by completing the Dragonhold main questline - Madgod’s Turban obtained with “The Lunacy of Two Moons” side quest in Northern Elsweyr - Psijic Skullcap is obtained on completing the Psijic Order quests line
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NON-COMBAT PETS (not including “instant” ones)
- Phoenix Moth – awarded on completing Galen’s story line quests - Jerall Rescue Dog – obtained during Tales of Tribute quest line - Coral Haj Mota – combined from (tradeable) fragments from both High Isle public dungeons - Dremnaken Runt – obtained completing Blackwood + The Deadlands epilogue quest line - Bog Dog pet – obtained by exploration achievement in Blackwood (check ArzyeLBuilds guide https://arzyelbuilds.com/eso-lost-in-the-wilds-achievement-guide-blackwood-free-pet/) - Dwarven Scarab – 7 parts Antiquity from Markarth DLC. Thought Zeni claims they improved the drop rates, they still deserve much better :( - Somnolent Void Rot - obtained during Greymoor + Markarth epilogue quest line - Solitude Silver Wolf – obtained during Greymoor story line quests - Regal Dragon Imp flying pet obtained during Season of the Dragon Epilogue quests
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FACE AND BODY MARKINGS (not including “instant” ones)
- Y’ffelon’s face and body marks obtained during Galen story quest line - Stonelore’s Legend Face and Body marks obtained during High Isle zone story - Fargrave Soullatice Face and Body obtained on completing The Deadlands story questline - Ysgramor’s Chosen Face Marking – antiquity lead in Western Skyrim - Ysgramor’s Chosen Body Marking obtained during Greymoor story quest - Dwemer Face Markings – antiquity lead from Colossus Charging Station WB in Blackreach - Dwemer Body Markings – antiquity lead from the boss of The Scraps delve in Western Skyrim - Face & Body Imprint of the Psijic Order are obtained during the Psijic Order quests line in Summerset - Abyssal Cephaliarch’s Face Art – completing the quest “A Hidden Fate” in Necrom - Body Art – completing the quest “A Calamity of Fate” in Necrom
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SKINS
- Barkroot Blessing is 10 parts antiquity from Galen https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Barkroot_Blessing (i will be honest: I gave up with this skin after using 25+ Galen treasure maps with zero freakin’ lead drop; may the luck follow you, tamrielings!:)
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OTHER COSMETICS
- Ascendant Lord’s Greatsword – style page awarded for completing High Isle + Firesong epilogue quests chain - Eldertide Style – shoulder style Antiquity from Galen Treasure Map I - Pelin’s Paragon outfit style pages drop from Tales of Tribute dailies rewards containers - Bog Blight Funerary Mask Style – hat style Antiquity from Blackwood - Leyawiin Brigadine Shield Style – obtained by completing Blackwood zone story line - Malign Ambitions Crow – major adornment obtained during story line quests in Blackwood - Antiquarian's Pickaxe is a two-handed weapon style acquired by reaching the max rank in the Excavation Skill Line - Wolf of Solitude Replica Sword is one-handed weapon style obtained during Greymoor storyline quests - Karthwatch Sigil Shield outfit style is also obtained during Greymoor storyline quests - Wolfcrown of Solitude adornment obtained on finishing Greymoor story line quests - Topal Corsair outfit style pages are awarded for completing different quests in Southern Elsweyr - Ancient & Pristine Moon Crescent Styles are sickle-like one-handed weapon styles obtained by completing side quests chain given by Vastarie NPC in Northern Elsweyr - Skyterror Dragonslayer Style are helm and shoulder outfit styles granted during Northern Elsweyr storyline quests - Mystic Eye Psijic Cuirass outfit Style is obtained during the Summerset zone story - Psijic Warden Gauntlets outfit Style is also obtained during the Summerset zone story - Shroomtender outfit pages are a reward for completing various achievements associated with the exploration of Necrom
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DAILIES
UESP has a comprehensive list of dailies and how to unlock them: https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Repeatable_Quests
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FURNISHING PLANS
(though I would not recommend this because of cooldowns and limited time of the Event, but this is still a good clean family entertainment to diversify your activities. Wrothgar: loot Old Orsinium; CWC: steal in Brass Fortress Basilica; Summerset loot Shimmerene Monastery; Murkmire: steal in Lilmoth and Bright-Throat Village; Northern Elsweyr: loot Rimmen Royal Palace (Dragonhold added no new furnishing plans); Greymoor: loot Nchuthnkarst; Markarth: loot Bthar-Zel (unlocked during the zone quest); Blackwood: steal in Leaywiin Castle; The Deadlands: steal in The Bearer’s Rest in Fargrave, High Isle: loot Castle Navire, Galen: steal in Maltheo Rouillac's House in Vastyr). Necrom loot in Sailenmora Crypts (you have to start the "a thif to catch a thief" quest, but NOT finish it, otherwise you lose access to this place (very juicy from the start, now seriously nerfed))
Swap characters after blue or purple plan drop (the cooldown for blues is one hour per character). I would also suggest to swap characters after you start getting white furnishing plans. Slot “Homemaker” green CP star.
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OTHER LONG-TERM ACTIVITIES:
- doing Museum quests for unique furnishing items and costumes ( https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Museums )
- farming bound collectibles fragments in public dungeons (https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Online:Fragments)
- digging mythics and other antiquities (wolfie mount, music box, dance emote, face and body markings, cosmetics, and fancy furnishings, as there are many great-looking Antiquities furnishings)
- do the surveys and refine as much as you can to stock up your CraftBag (ideally to hold up till the next ESO+ free event)
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- DO THE SOLO ARENAS: the Maelstrom Arena weapons are still great, also the Vateshran Hollows weapons are good and achievements (unlocking skin and dyes may be done on a veteran difficulty).
BlackRose Prison weapons are also good, but you would prefer to go with friend(s), as this group arena is noticeably harder than the soloable nDSA.
(reminder: Curated drops in Arenas work only on the final chest)
Completing veteran MA unlocks Maelstrom Baron polymorph, completing veteran VH unlocks Void Pathosis skin.
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TIP: Set up your priorities!
As there are a LOT of things to be done and time is the essence, I’d suggest getting instant freebies first (it takes less than an hour) and then focus on what you consider the most important (like mythics, or trial/dungeons gear, or some free stuff requiring questing, or dailies, or just exploration, etc) as this depends on what brings you the most fun. The ESO is a MMO game, after all!
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Be sure to check the comprehensive list of collectibles compiled by Benevolent Bowd (benevolentbowd):
https://benevolentbowd.ca/games/esotu/eso-making-the-most-of-it/
http://benevolentbowd.ca/games/esotu/esotu-unlockable-collectibles/
Friendly reminder: collectibles, mementos, emotes, dyes and currencies are account-wide.
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If I have missed anything essential (I intentionally omitted Base Game, Vvardenfell and Imperial City things as they do not depend on ESO+), please, post that in the comments to help making this guide better. Thank you.
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Good luck, friends.
Have fun
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P.S. FAQ: the most frequent questions are:
- How to activate the ESO+ trial? - Normally the magic sequence is: inagme Crown Store, select the ESO Plus tab, select “Free Trial!” ( official instructionhttps://www.elderscrollsonline.com/en-us/news/post/66079 ) - How long does it last? - Normally seven days. Check the official site for precise information. Event ends on June 19 14:00 UTC - is this once in a lifetime promotion? - No. You can participate in all the subsequent ESO+ free trial events whenever they happen - How often such promotions do happen? – it is hard to say, normally 2-3 times a year, but there are no schedule and warranties. - I am already subscribed. Do I benefit from this event? - Not really. - Does this week adds to existing subscriptions? – Nope. - Does free ESO+ trial unlocks Warden & Necromancer classes ?– Nope. - How long does it take to pick up all of them instant loyalty rewards? - Normally less than an hour. - Any free mounts? - Ebon Dwarven Mount from Antiquities. There are also other mounts but it depends. Mounts are granted for trifectas DLC Trials achievements, but they are really hard to obtain, as it takes highly coordinated capable group to achieve vet HM speed-run no-death. Antiquties wolf mount could be unlocked in one week but this takes some serious no-lifing. :) - What will happen with the Craftbag? - it will go into “extract only” mode, you will not lose your materials. u/Kelinmiriel explained the order materials are consumed when crafting: the game uses 1) any stolen materials you're carrying, 2) materials from your craft bag, 3) non-stolen materials in your inventory. You have no choice about this. - Do I keep all these collectibles and items I have obtained? – Sure!
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Stay safe, folx!

we’ve been dating for a couple months now and have been chatting and getting to know each other since the beginning of the year. We’ve been getting on so well and are so madly in love with each other. Being in his company just feels so right and it’s almost as if i’ve never had love like this before. Bit of context my boyfriend has a lot of love for japan and cars I believe this is genuinely something that makes him so incredibly happy it’s so so wholesome. Recently between us both he has mentioned about moving to japan which I initially thought it would be a short term fix such as we could live there together for a few years then move back to the UK and possibly start our own family. We’ve been very open from the get go about having a family together and really just having our whole lives with each other… It’s only just started to crash and burn on me that thought as he wants to move over there permanently such as giving up his citizenship so he can be there and he’s basically mentioned that he will be doing it regardless. So this would mean us turning into a long distance relationship and he’s pretty much given me the hint that he doesn’t think it could work.. he doesn’t necessarily want to leave me because he says he loves me so deeply but he’s just wanting to protect our hearts from being in more pain in years to come when he eventually makes that next step as we will continue to have so many more memories with each other if we chose to stick together. I’m finding all of this very hard to process as i’ve never had much luck in relationships and i must say this is the first one where i truly felt i could be with this boy for the rest of my life. He takes care of me, makes me laugh, has such a caring soul for other, is artistic which i absolutely adore about him, has great music taste, loves to travel, really gets on with my family.. he’s just adored by all people, i really find the thought of letting him go so difficult and i feel like I’d want to try make us work, like do you guys really think i could move over there with him? would that even be what he would want ? i already know all of the requirements needed to be able to actually move to japan but i just don’t know if i should just leave him to live out his dream. We never meant to fall so deeply in love with each other, i was just aimlessly swiping on tinder and never meant to find the person i want to spend the rest of my life with. Love comes into your life when you least expect it i just never thought I’d have my heart torn out of my body this early on especially with how well everything has been going. Reasons for why we haven’t spoken more on the topic yet is that we’re currently on holiday together and he already knows this is going to be a tough conversation so he’s asked for us to chat about it afterwards.. i just can’t help but sit here and wonder if the chat is going to lead to us breaking up. i feel so lost reddit.
btw I’m F 24 and he’s M 25 so quite similar in age and still young.. but i just adore him so much

Hi Everyone, later this month I will be 7 years out of my Glioblastoma diagnosis. I was 30 years old when I was diagnosed and am 37 years old now. Over the last 6+ years, I have been put in contact with many people battling the same diagnosis and decided to create a Word document titled "Health & Happiness", which details all of the things I have incorporated into my healing journey. Everyone is different and I am simply sharing what has worked for me. Neither me or my wife are in the medical field however we have spent a lot of time researching things to integrate into my day-to-day life which we believe are keeping me healthy. For the first 5 years of my journey I received MRI's every 8 weeks; now that I am more than 5 years out I get MRI's every 12 weeks. Below is a copy and paste of the document:
*Below there are some discount codes that I have not affiliation with and found them through IG or marketing emails and they might be outdated*
My Neurosurgeon:
Dr. Mitchel Berger - UCSF
My Neuro Oncologist:
Dr. Timothy Cloughesy - UCLA
My Naturopathic Doctor:
· Christian Gonzalez, ND
o Check out his podcast, “Heal Thy Self” – This podcast has been life-changing for my wife and I. It has provided us with assurance about the path that we have been on to keep me healthy and has opened our eyes to so many things that we thought were “good” and “healthy” when in fact we were grossly misled to a technique called “Green Washing” that a lot of companies and products use in their marketing efforts.
· Below are two links where you can find a ND in your area.
o Naturopath Oncologist Database - https://oncanp.org/directory/
o General Naturopath Doctor Database - https://www.naturopathic.org/AF_MemberDirectory.asp?version=2
CBD/THC Extracts - Cancer Protocols:
· I went through CT's full 90 day protocol back in 2017 in conjunction with radiation and chemo (Temodar). I am on CT's "maintenance" program and have been since I finished the 90 day protocol.
o https://www.constancetherapeutics.com/
o https://www.forbes.com/sites/abbierosne2019/01/24/constance-finleys-midlife-detour-to-cannabis-extraction-connoisseu#456c41bc35c6
§ The article above is from Forbes magazine on Constance and how she got started.
Books and Documentaries:
· Radical Remission. This book was the first book I read when I was diagnosed and gave me knowledge and motivation to not look at my diagnosis as a death sentence. One of the most powerful cancer books I have read and I highly recommend it for anyone that has cancer or knows someone that has cancer. 😊
· What the Health: Netflix
· Heal: Netflix
o Here are a couple ‘extras’ from “Heal” that we found very powerful and inspiring.
§ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sxmK8A-Kco&list=PLmcZvnvGDkToo9nYIX3ugcgyLCll0NLLc&utm_content=b080891cf2ccb1c272c432873d52f9cd&utm_campaign=Don%27t+believe+you+can+change+your+destiny%3F+This+video+could+help+you+change+your+mind.&utm_source=Robly.com&utm_medium=email

§ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeQjNRahxrw&feature=youtu.be&utm_content=eadbd6e0e0dff2d44d28e6515fa4c2a1&utm_campaign=Rob+Wergin+use+his+incredible+and+unique+gifts&utm_source=Robly.com&utm_medium=email

o The Documentary “Heal”, did so well they wrote a book as well.
· The Game Changers – A documentary on Netflix.
· Forks Over Knives - Netflix
· Cowspiracy – Netflix
· The China Study – Book outlining the most comprehensive study done on nutrition, and the links the standard American diet has to all types of diseases including cancer.
· Being In Balance - Book
· You The Healer – Book
· The Power of Now – Book
· The Celestine Prophecy – Book
· How Not To Die – Book
· The Truth About Cancer – Documentary


Supplements I am taking:
· Maca Root
· Vitamin B12
· Gaia – “Liver Health”
· Bladderwrack & Sea Moss
o We purchase these from- https://alkalineveganshop.com/
· Mushroom Supplements: Chaga, Turkey Tail, Maitake, Reishi, Cordyceps & Lion’s Mane (Real Mushrooms is the company we use.) See video and article below about the health benefits of mushrooms.
o https://www.realmushrooms.com/
o https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuL_faveAnw
o https://www.drweil.com/health-wellness/body-mind-spirit/canceturkey-tail-mushrooms-for-cancer-treatment/
o Paul Stamets is the CEO of Host Defense and his mother was diagnosed with Stage Four Breast Cancer. He gives a lot of credit to her remission from the mushroom supplements. https://hostdefense.com/also has a 10% off first time order. We order from Vitacost.com though due to their sales and free shipping.
· Agaricus Mushroom – I take it at night with my Essiac Tea (See Below)
· Kelp
· Vitamin D3
· Graviola/Soursop – (can be taken as a supplement or in Tea form)
· Ashwagandha –Benefits and study links below. In the first link below, each number found in the article is a hyper link showcasing different studies that have been conducted proving the benefits listed.
o https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/12-proven-ashwagandha-benefits#section3
o https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26650066
· Vitamin B2
· Boswellia (Frankincense)
· Melatonin
· CoQ10
[· X-R Shield by LifeExtension – My ND prescribed me to take these 5 days prior to air travel, during travel and 5 days after air travel. When flying, you’re exposed to high amounts of radiation and this supplement helps to protect cell DNA damage]()
· Chaparral
o We purchase these from- https://alkalineveganshop.com/
· Liposomal Glutathione – Quicksilver Scientific
· NAC (N-Acetyl-L-Cysteine, Free-Form)
· Co-E1 NADH
· Probiotic – Klaire Labs, Ther-Biotic Complete
· Life Cykel Mushroom Tinctures
o https://us.lifecykel.com/?rfsn=3953957.f0c203&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=3953957.f0c203
o Discount code: 0DCB4626
o Chaga, Turkey Tail, Reishi, Lions Maine, Cordyceps, Shitake
o All of the above mushrooms are harnessed in Kakadu Plum juice which is the most Vitamin C dense fruit in the world.
· We get most of our supplements from http://www.vitacost.com . They have sales all the time and free 2-day shipping.

Teas:
· Senna Tea - I drank this on the nights I took Temodar (Chemo) to prevent constipation, it's a lot easier on your body than any OTC medication.
· Essiac Tea - I drink 4 oz. of this every night before bed. People who have defeated cancer give a lot of credit to Essiac Tea.
o We purchase it in loose leaf form from https://www.starwest-botanicals.com/
· Moringa
· Dandelion
· Teas with Turmeric
[· Pique Tea – Organic, ceremonial grade, triple screened for heavy metals, mold toxins and pesticides. This is the only tea that we have been able to find that has a triple screening process for heavy metals. “Organic” does not mean free of heavy metals.]()
o Discount Code: GREENFIELD 15% off!

Other things I do:
· Meditation – Every day for 20 minute – I started off with the app called “Headspace” other people use “Calm”. Its personal preference.
o I am looking into taking a TM class (Transcendental Meditation) and will let you know once I do.
[· Minimizing EMF exposure as much as possible]()
o Sleeping with our phones in airplane mode and away from us, ideally in another room
o Turning off Wi-Fi at night, and even when not in use
o Covering Wi-Fi router and Digital Electricity Meter (outside of house) with EMF guards
§ These can be found here: https://smartmeterguard.com/
o Keeping cell phones away from our bodies as much as possible
o Not using anything wireless near our heads. This includes cell phones (always talk on speaker phone or a wired ear pod connection), air pods or any type of Bluetooth headphones, this includes Bluetooth in the car.
o Hardwiring my office so there is no need for Wi-Fi.
· When we fly, we have these blankets that we wrap around our body. This company has a lot of great products that protect you from EMF exposure.
o https://www.defendershield.com/emf-radiation-protection-blanket
· We also wear these when we fly, they are a company out of Australia
o https://radiasmart.com/emf-hat-hood/
o This is what we have: RS EMF radiation protection hood, blocking RF, EMF- Brian Coat
· Here is another company that is popular, we were not aware of it at the time of buying the other products above.
o https://getlambs.com/products/emf-proof-beanie
· Positive attitude and mindset in everything I do- link below to article explaining how thoughts can benefit or hinder your body
o https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-your-thoughts-change-your-brain-cells-and-genes_b_9516176
· Eliminate as much stress as I possibly can from my everyday life
· Be present in my mind
· Yoga
· Spin
· Writing down 3 things that I am grateful for each night before bed
· Using Frankincense oil on my feet and pillow, every night, before bed
· Morning Routine: Body Scan Meditation, Drink a liter of water when you wake up (Your body is most dehydrated after a full night’s sleep), stretch or some type of quick 10 minute workout to get your body moving in the morning, “I Am” affirmations (I will usually do this right after I finish my morning stretching, I will typically say 5-10 things out loud to myself, for example (I am healthy, I am a loving husband, I am kind, etc…), statements of gratitude (I will mix this in with my “I Am” affirmations, for example, I am grateful for my bed, I am grateful for my home, I am grateful to have access to organic produce, etc…) I try to focus on this that I have in my life instead of things that I want, rubbing a 1-2 drops of any organic essential oil that you like in your hands in the morning and taking 4-5 deep breaths with your hands over your mouth and nose (this is very helpful in awakening your sensory functions), lastly, I listen to music when getting ready for work in the morning. Soft music in the morning taps into the creative side of your brain and research has shown that individuals that listen to soft music in the morning are more creative and productive throughout the day than those who don’t.
· Taking a walk every day to get fresh air and disconnect, normally with the dogs J
· Circuit Training
· Acupuncture / Energy Healing
· Energy Healer – Steve Montoya – Let me know if you would like his contact info. He travels all over the world healing people. He is in the LA/OC area once a quarter or so.
o https://ramonashealingjourney.wordpress.com/2015/11/04/you-shall-know-them-by-their-love/
· Keeping my body warm at all times. We learned from Traditional Chinese Medicine, that keeping the body warm protects the kidneys, which means all of the other organs can do their job and the body can heal. Also, just for example, when you have a fever, it’s your body’s way of protecting all of your vital organs so that they can do their job, as well as preventing any proliferation of bacteria and viruses.
o http://aprilcrowell.com/asian-medicine/warm-to-the-core/
· John of God – Brazil. Lauren’s cousin went down to visit him during the 4th quarter of 2018 and took a head shot of myself as well as a two-page letter sharing my story. He is a spiritual healer that helped a young man get to a state of meditation where his brain tumor shrunk to nothing. He sent back two bottles of Herbs (Ground Up Passion Flower Leaves – Actual Name: Passiflora) for me to take. There is a large portion about him in the book “Radical Remission” and he is featured in “Heal” as well.
· I brush my teeth with my less dominant hand once a day and then with my dominant hand the other two times.
o This helps stimulate parts of the brain that are not in use often. You can do this with many things, brushing your hair, using your less dominant foot in sports, washing your body with soap while showering.
· Drinking and eating out of glass vs. plastic. It’s having an effect on both men and women’s endocrine systems (hormones, fertility, etc…)
o https://www.plasticpollutioncoalition.org/pft/2017/7/26/new-endocrine-disrupting-chemicals-are-undermining-male-fertility
· This may sound like something so simple but it’s quite challenging: When moving/changing physical positions I am always present. For example, every time I sit, I tell myself I am sitting, every time I stand to walk, I tell myself I am standing. This helps me to bring my mind into a present state and focus less on the future or past.
o This was a recommendation during one of my guided meditations.
· Laughing, loving and hugging every day. This was a big take away for Lauren and I from reading the book Radical Remission. It’s important to laugh every day, love every day and receive and give hugs to people every day. I know, I know, it sounds crazy but it has worked on other folks, we practice it every day. We try to watch more comedies if we are going to watch a movie on the weekend, an easy way to incorporate laughter into your life.
· We recently added air purifiers into our home. I also have one in my office. We purchased the Molekule, but through research we found that the Air Doctor is another good option (and I believe also a little less expensive). Here is a discount code for $100 off a Molekule: MetroMD100
· IR Sauna (Infrared Saunas)
o These are great for detoxifying the body, especially after air travel. I go to Perspire (https://perspiresaunastudio.com/) here in Orange County.
· Epsom Salt Baths – Especially after air or any long car travel as well.
· Grounding/Earthing – Walk around barefoot on your backyard grass or anywhere there is a plot of “Earth”. Feel the grass between your toes or if you are at the beach, be aware of the sand between your toes. We are all energy and Earth contains energy, manifest the energy from the Earth into your body for increased healing, awareness, presence and mindfulness. I do this for about 10-15 minutes.
· Cold Showers (as cold as the shower can get) every morning and Ice Plunges. Look up the “Wim Hof Method”
o https://www.wimhofmethod.com/

Diet:
· For the past 6+ years we have followed a whole food plant-based diet (vegan without the junk food). Cancer cells feed off of Glucose (Sugar) firstly, but can also utilize glutamate as a second source of fuel (which is in all animal protein, land and sea). I have also cut out all artificial sugars from my diet. Dairy is also extremely inflammatory for your body and has been linked to cancer in many research studies.
· White Carbs and Gluten - We have eliminated these from our diet as much as we possibly can. Even for people who do not have a ‘gluten intolerance,’ gluten is very hard on the body’s digestive system. Excessive consumption can lead to a leaky gut, which causes toxins to seep out of the digestive tract into the body/blood making it hard for your immune system to work at its peak. Also, most gluten products have high levels of glyphosate, which they’ve linked to cancer. Glyphosate acts like an antibiotic to your gut (not in a good way), wiping out all of the beneficial gut flora which are there to keep your immune system working efficiently.
· Alkaline Foods and Water - Cancer cells cannot grow in an alkaline environment; we drink water with a PH level of 9.5. We recently invested in a Kangen water machine for our home. A level of 7 PH is balanced and anything below 7 is acidic. Cancer cells thrive in an acidic environment. Things that make your body acidic are alcohol, dairy, meat, processed and artificial sugars and gluten.
· I drink warm lemon water with apple cider vinegar every morning, which also helps alkalize the body and keep stomach acid levels at a great pH for food absorption.
· We practice intermittent fasting, which allows the body to not worry about processing food for a large portion of the day but rather allow its immune system to be working at its peak ability. We started out by only eating from 12 PM - 8 PM and are working toward 12 PM - 6 PM. Intermittent fasting is really important when taking Temodar (or any chemotherapy). It allows the body to protect the healthy cells while targeting cancer cells. There is so much research showing the benefits of intermittent fasting for cancer patients.
· This is a really interesting article citing a lot of different sources regarding a plant-based diet and fighting/preventing cancer:
o https://www.vivahealth.org.uk/veganhealth/dont-feed-cancer

Other Things to Research:
· Dr. Sebi – He is the doctor who put a full-page ad in the NY Post and was sued to take it down. When he went to his court hearing the judge asked him if he could prove that he healed anyone, and he furnished 70 patients of his that were healed by his treatment and the Judge declared “not guilty” on all the charges that were brought against him by the State of New York.
o The link below is a quick rundown of his life. I believe the pharmaceutical companies were heavily involved with his death in while he was imprisoned in Honduras.
o https://wakeup-world.com/2015/08/28/dr-sebi-the-man-who-cures-aids-cancer-diabetes-and-more/
· Radiation Stickers for your cell phone and laptop:
o https://www.amazon.com/Radiation-Protection-Labobbon-Household-Appliances/dp/B078SSD6QC
· We also try to use the ‘cleanest’ hygiene products we can find. There are many harmful chemicals in our everyday toothpastes, shampoos, deodorants, etc. Chemicals to avoid in hygiene products below:
o Shampoo – Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, basically any ‘sulfate,’ Parabens, Sodium Benzoate. Brands that we like are: 100% Pure, Acure, Alaffia
o Toothpaste – Sodium Lauryl Sulfate, Sodium Laureth Sulfate, basically any ‘sulfate’, fluoride, triclosan, DEA, Propylene Glycol, Microbeads. One of the worst toothpaste brands out there is Colgate. We use Himalaya Botanique & Nature’s Gate as well as Dr. Bronner’s All-In-One toothpaste.
o Deodorant – Aluminum, Parabens, Triclosan, DEA, Propylene Glycol. We have been testing out natural deodorants for years and our favorite (although not vegan) is from a company called Primally Pure. We’ve also started to use a brand called Joyous Organics with clean (and minimal) ingredients.
o A great website to reference for beauty product ingredients and their safety is https://www.ewg.org/
§ Skin Deep Database – This is where you will find clean products to put on your body.
· https://www.ewg.org/skindeep/

· The Clean Fifteen and Dirty Dozen
o The EWG, each year, comes out with an updated list of produce that we should be buying organic 100% of the time (Dirty Dozen), especially people like you and I who have had cancer. The Clean fifteen can be purchased conventionally if you can’t find them in an organic form and conventional is the only option
o https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/clean-fifteen.php
o https://www.ewg.org/foodnews/dirty-dozen.php

· The link below is a good read on Monsanto’s Glyphosate and the timeline for removal in home use:
o https://www.ewg.org/news-insights/news-release/2021/07/bayer-end-residential-sales-cancer-causing-weedkiller-glyphosate?utm_source=newsletter&utm_campaign=202108News&utm_medium=email&emci=9a939839-bef6-eb11-b563-501ac57b8fa7&emdi=4d3bfe91-dbf7-eb11-b563-501ac57b8fa7&ceid=2210188
These are things that we have done and have found to be successful so far with my body, and hopefully, they are helpful for you as well. I have also included some images below that show how damaging the effects of Wi-Fi radiation (and all of the radiation coming from electronics) can be.