So I know I'm probably in the minority but I absolutely love Megaman X3. I know it’s not perfect but I just have so much fun playing it. A common complaint that I hear is the insane amount of backtracking. It seems you have to backtrack to almost every level at least once if you wanna get everything.
So, this inspired me to think of some alternative routes. I've sorted them from easy to hard.

Easy route

The easy route may seem like a pain in the ass but if you want an easier experience, this is the way to go.
In the easy route, you travel from stage to stage, collecting any upgrades that easy to get or don't require any special weapon, then leaving. Here's what I've come up with:
Start with Tunnel Rhino. The sub tank in his stage is fairly early on and absolutely free.
Then go to Blizzard Buffalo. His stage has a free leg upgrade and a free sub tank. They are near the end of the stage which is kind of a downside. I recommend fighting Blizzard Buffalo now since he's not that hard and his weapon is great for filling up sub tanks. There's an area I've used since I was a kid. In Buffalo's stage, the first indoor section of his stage has two small purple enemies perpendicular to eachother. If you use Buffalo's weapon Frost Shield, they will always, and I repeat, ALWAYS drop health. You can fill up 4 sub tanks in less than 5 minutes.
Neon Tiger's stage has a free sub tank and a free heart. Go ahead and grab both.
Next up is Blast Hornet. Her stage has the neutral ride armor which you need to get the other ride chips. While you're at it, you may as well grab the free heart you'll find near the same area.
With the ride armor, you'll be able to get the sub tank in Volt Catfish's stage and the heart in Crush Crawfish's stage. Volt Catfish's stage also has a heart that's fairly easy to grab (although you may have to sacrifice one of your lives as it is over a bed of spikes)
Toxic Seahorse's stage is next. It has a free heart fairly early on and since you have Frost Shield, go ahead and fight Toxic Seahorse.
If you've done all the steps correctly, you should have a leg upgrade which grants access to the air dash and the upward air dash, 5 hearts and all the sub tanks. From here, play the game like normal, grabbing any upgrade that may have been unavailable before. Assuming you've beaten Blizzard Buffalo, go Seahorse > Rhino > Catfish > Crawfish > Tiger > Beetle > Hornet.

Normal route

This is the most basic route. Look up any Mega Man X3 boss order online and that's what this is. The boss pattern is the same as the one you do in the easy route except you don't have all the upgrades. I don't recommend this for beginners, unless you like a good challenge.

Hard route

Time for my favourite route and by far, my favourite. I originally wanted to make a MMX3 route with as little backtracking as possible and I did just that. Now, what makes it hard mode? You'll be fighting the girst 4 bosses buster only. They're surprisingly not that hard buster only. May take you a few tries though. With my optimized pattern, you only have to backtrack a single time. Here's the route:
Tunnel Rhino

• Free subtank to start
• Defeat Rhino for Tornado fang

Blizzard Buffalo

• Use Tornado Fang to get secret heart
• Get sub tank
• Get leg upgrade

Blast Hornet

• Use air dash to get heart
• Get ride armour

Neon Tiger

• Get sub tank
• Use Tornado Fang to get arm upgrade
• Get heart

Toxic Seahorse

• Get heart
• Get Kangaroo armor with charged Frost Shield

Gravity Beetle

• Get heart
• Use air dash to get Frog armor

Volt Catfish

• Get heart
• Get sub tank
• Use fully charged Gravity Well to get armor upgrade

Crush Crawfish

• Use fully charged Triad Thunder to get Hawk armor
• Get heart with ride armor

Tunnel Rhino revisit:

• Use fully charged Triad Thunder to get heart
• Use fully charged Triad Thunder to get helmet upgrade

Conclusion

X3 isn't a perfect game but I love just how much variety there is in boss patterns. Whether you like it, don't like it or never even tried it, I hope you give one of my routes a shot. Hard is definitely my favourite. It's super satisfying to grab almost everything on the first go. Thanks for reading and have an awesome day!

So i try to make a small "retro gaming station" on top of my multimedia server mini-PC. It works alright, except for a controller. I use a replica of Dualshock 4 from DataFrog. Under Windows it works as basic controller, and works perfectly fine with DS4Windows installed.
On Linux, i'm facing some difficulties.
At first i installed a XFCE Arch-based distro. It failed to pair with a controller. I googled a lot, and found some threads that suggests downgrading Bluez to 5.68. It worked...to some degree.
I switched distros (mainly to test different flavours) to KDE-based release. And sadly it fails to connect even with Bluez 5.68. Like at all - i'm stuck at "Configuring Wireless Controller" when i try to pair, and it fails after some time.
I returned to XFCE-based distro, it works with BlueZ downgraded to 5.68.
I found out that...

1. Strangely, "default" bluetooth GUIs fails to connect on Budgie, KDE and so on. Meanwhile, blueman manages to pair with all "DS4" functional - touch panel works, LEDs turns dark blue (white\light blue "normally"). The problem is - blueman will only connect to gamepad when it's in pairing mode, and thus it can't reconnect. So if i disable Bluetooth and enable it back- i gotta turn gamepad to pairing mode, AND i have ot "pair" it manually in blueman. It works, but i just can't have it that way, as i won't be the only one to use it, as i would have to keep a mouse next to my TV just to connect gamepad. No couch experience.
2. When trying to pair it with Bluetoothctl i get a authorization failed in btmon. It paires in Bluetoothctl, but disconnects right after that. The gamepad is either disables LEDs and does a silent "pop" sound (it has some sound functions, mainly to connect a wired headphones and use them over BT), or turns LED to white\light blue, same silent "pop", and it disconnects. It can be paired and\or trusted- no difference. When i pair it with blueman - it pairs alright and sends a whole bunch of information.

I've used the same controller in EmuELEC, and it had a kinda simillar problem (it needed to be paired every time, but worked fine after that). But i do remember finding a solution on EmuELEC's github that worked, and it managed to run 2 of this gamepads with full feature set (1 with blue LED coloring, 1 with red blue coloring, both connecting in discovery mode, not pairing mode). iirc- that was the fix i applied for EmuELEC: raw.githubusercontent.com/EmuELEC/EmuELEC/v4.6/packages/sx05re/emuelec/bin/batocera/emuelec-bluetooth , but i don't really know how to apply it to basic Linux.
If any logs needed- i' m willing to provide it, really want this stuff to work.

[Note: We’re focusing on emotional reasons; not physical. And this is just one perspective. Please consult your doctor for healing, withdrawals, etc.]
TL;DR: Addictions are coping mechanisms for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. You're craving intimacy and connection. And, you’re addicted because you judge yourself (and others).
Replace “addiction” with “momentum.” You hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy and motivation).

Addictions are used to regulate your emotions. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck. So you’re learning how to shift from negative addictions (e.g. social media, junk food, vaping, etc.) to positive addictions (e.g. meditate, exercise, dancing, drawing, etc.).
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Before we begin, this is important: I’m not here trying to fix you. Because I don’t think you’re broken. I believe in you. You are strong, worthy and powerful enough to transform this. You may not know how to yet, but we’ll work together in understanding what’s at the heart of the issue, to support you in allowing the life you want and deserve.
Secondary Addictions: Phone, social media, food, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, video games, relationships, attention, validation, anger, sex, porn, weed, smoking, gambling, shopping, hoarding, workaholic, perfectionist, procrastinating, etc. All of these are secondary; compensating for an even greater addiction.
Primary Addiction: You’re addicted to judging yourself (and others). Not accepting and appreciating yourself and others is the cause of secondary addictions.
Addictions are coping mechanism for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. Mistreating substances is a reflection of how you treat yourself. And the irony is, part of the source for addiction is… judging yourself for doing it.
Addiction: Consistently using a substance or experience to regulate your emotions (this can be positive or negative).
And to add another layer: Replace “addiction” with “momentum” (or movement or energy flow). There’s momentum towards what you want or don’t want, and we’re discussing shifting momentum from unwanted to wanted; negative addictions to positive. Your natural state is to feel better. But if you don’t know how to do that, then you’ll rely on circumstances and people as fuel for feeling movement. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck.
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The Cycle of Addictions

• Unwanted/ Negative Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more external/ conditional relief; relying on circumstances and people to feel better → Until you start judging again.
• Wanted/ Positive Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more internal/ unconditional relief; relying on your ability to focus to feel better → Accepting and appreciating reduces your desire for judging and negative addictions.

Negative addictions are used to avoid negative emotions. Whereas positive addictions are used to heal and embrace negative emotions.
Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on (and judging) what you don't want. Negative emotions are just messengers of the limiting beliefs you're practicing. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, you keep yourself stuck.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad). Begin seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends, and work together as a team to help you feel better.
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The Purpose of Addictions

Because you’re the CEO of you, you hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy, motivation and enhances a good time).

Addictions either make you feel more powerful, or distract you from feeling powerless. Negative addictions give you a false sense of security, which ironically enhances your insecurity. And that keeps you stuck in a cycle of abuse with negative addictions.
Addictions can soften your focus, so you’re distracted and more general with your thoughts (i.e. tune out). And when you focus less on details, then you’re less aware of what you specifically don’t want or have, so you judge less. And with less judgement, you slow down negative momentum, and naturally feel better.
Negative addictions can help you tune out, but they also won’t let you tune in to who you really are. So if you use substances to numb yourself, then you lose your ability to focus. But it’s your power of focusing that will set you free.
Negative addictions are trying to fill a void, with things that aren’t designed to fill it. It’s like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom; so no matter how much you put in, it's still empty. And you use secondary addictions to distract yourself so you don’t feel the emptiness. But the only way to fix the hole is to be reminded of how powerful, worthy and whole you really are. And it’s not a fact that you’re unworthy; it’s just something you’ve been taught by other people, who feel unworthy.
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Because negative addictions are coping mechanisms, then if you think it’s the cause, then not using it will be the cure. But that doesn’t work as a long-term solution because it doesn’t address the actual issue: judging. So when you stop one unwanted behavior, you’ll probably start something else; i.e. transfer addiction. Or, you can call it transfer relief.
As long as you believe negative addictions help you feel normal, then you're not incentivized to let go because it’s not in your best interest. But when you feel better first, before going to the substance or experience, then you gradually remove its purpose, and thus your desire for it.

• Instead of saying, "I'm addicted," (which is valid). It's more accurate to say, “I’m seeking relief in the best way I know how.”

Negative addictions are just tools, and you used that tool to help you through a difficult time when you didn't know what else to do. You did the best you could, and now you’re ready for a change.

• “Thank you, negative addiction. I appreciate that you supported me. But, I’m taking the company in a new direction, and I will no longer be needing your services.”

Negative addictions have imposter syndrome; and rightfully so — they’re unqualified for the job of giving you sustainable relief. So when you start hiring positive addictions, then you release the control negative addictions once had over the company (i.e. you).
And it doesn’t mean you still don’t enjoy technology, food, etc. You can let them be for fun (based on your personal boundaries), but you are in control. They’re expressions of a fulfilling life; not replacements for it.
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Positive Addictions — What You’re Really Craving

Addictions indicate you're craving intimacy and connection. With others is nice, but you’re craving connection with yourself. And to stop an unwanted addiction, you want a new healthy habit to take its place. Because without it, there’s a power vacuum. So, what are your new healthier coping mechanisms to connect with yourself? For ex:

• "When I feel sad, I meditate for 2 - 15 minutes."
• "When I feel powerless, I exercise, go for a walk, ride a bike, or connect with nature.”
• "When I feel unloved and rejected, I connect with my body, by putting my hand on my heart, focus on deep breathing and being there for myself."
• "When I feel bored, I practice creative outlets to express myself (e.g. dancing, singing, drawing, gardening, crocheting, cooking, etc.).”

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Tips to Start Healing

1. Be Aware. Be Mindful. Be Intentional. When using an unwanted addiction, tell yourself,

• “I am consciously using this for relief. I’m not going to judge myself, because I understand why I’m doing it. I feel lonely, bored, sad, stressed, etc. And so, I am intentionally doing this activity to feel better.”

The simple act of bringing awareness to an unwanted habit shines light into the darkness, and you start regaining your power. You’re still doing the unwanted activity, but you’re tuning in, instead of tuning out.
2. Make a Deal with Yourself. When you get tempted to do an unwanted addiction, focus on feeling better first (e.g. meditate or go for a walk for a few minutes). Then, you can still do the unwanted addiction after you feel better. (This isn’t advocating unwanted behavior, but it is being realistic in helping you wean yourself off, and begin the job transfer process from negative to positive addictions.) So it accomplishes three things:

1. You’re not depriving yourself; you’re just slightly delaying gratification, which builds up your strength of not automatically going to the same unwanted habit.
2. You’re replacing the old addiction with a better-feeling one (and notice that you’ll consume less and/ or gradually have less desire to use the substance).
3. You create self-trust and respect by making a practical deal with yourself, and showing that you’re stronger than you think and can follow through; which also gives you hope that you can do this.

3. Reduce Consumption: Adjust Time and/ or Intensity. (E.g. If you’re smoking five days a week; do only four days, or use one less a day than normal).
4. Focus on what you want to start doing, instead of what you want to stop doing. What do you want to feel?

• “I want to start feeling relief. I want to feel supported. I want to start feeling more loved and accepted for who I am. I want to feel more comfortable and ease. I want to feel more at peace myself. I want to start feeling how strong and capable my body is. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to feel clarity. I want to start looking for more activities that are fun and bring out my creativity.”

5. Your Phone Has Grayscale, which makes it black and white, thus reducing the stimulus and dopamine you receive from it. You can also turn on app limit timers and turn off notifications.
6. Find an Accountability Buddy (if you can). They don’t have to stop their unwanted addictions, but they're willing to celebrate when you succeed and support you if you fall short. Also consider talking to your smoking or drinking buddies about your new commitment to your health.
7. If You Relapse, It’s Okay. Don’t judge yourself (i.e. "Why am I so weak, stupid, etc.?”). Self-judgment is self-sabotage, because it ironically fuels the very behavior you want to stop. You didn’t lose progress, because recovery isn’t a perfect straight line. It’s a process. And regardless, you’re now one step closer to your goal (with more clarity of what you don’t want, and increased desire for what you do want).
8. Self-Reflection Questions:

• "What am I afraid would happen if I stopped doing an unwanted addiction?"
• "What are the advantages of the substance or activity? How does it support me?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I accepted myself just the way I am?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I only focused on what I appreciated about myself?"

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Honorable Mention Addictions

1. Acceptance, Caring What People Think, and Needing to Be Understood
Wanting acceptance is fine. But needing it, is not knowing your value. So you’re desperate to find ways to get people to love and understand you (i.e. people pleaser, perfectionist, workaholic, clingy, gym selfies, etc.). This also inspires arguing, needing to be right and anger addictions, because you need to feel heard and validated (instead of understanding that some people can’t or aren’t interested in understanding).
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2. Avoiding Boredom — Social Media Consumption
Consuming vs Creating. Negative addictions can have an imbalance leaning towards consuming people’s creations, vs expressing your own. When was the last time you laid in bed at night, or waited in line at the store, and didn’t pull out your phone to distract you? Instead of simply appreciating the moment and your surroundings.
“Something distracting me is better than nothing.” But then you don’t have standards of quality; you simply have an insatiable appetite of consuming more. And if you’re not intentionally consuming media; it will consume you. It’s passive consumption; each post is a potato chip. When you don’t have a specific intention before opening an app, then you’ll most likely spend your next hour on empty emotional calories and walk away feeling worse. Excessive consuming leads to fuming and glooming.
Negative addictions can start out innocently. But like a frog in a boiling pot… you don’t notice that you increasingly rely on them for self-medicating negative emotions until you feel it’s consumed you.
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3. Anger and Drama
When you feel bored, there’s no momentum in that. You feel lifeless; like a plank of wood floating on still water. And you would rather feel fun and excitement (i.e. positive momentum). But, if you don’t know how to generate those feelings, then you’ll settle for the next easiest emotion that has momentum, which is anger. (But anger is negative momentum; when not intentionally controlled.)
Drama feels interesting compared to boredom, until it gradually wears on you (and your relationships). So you try to give that anger addiction up. But if you don’t know how to create positive momentum, then when you get bored, you’ll reach for anger again to get your fix to feel that energy flow.
As you judge yourself, you will feel sad, and then naturally inspired to feel angry, because anger has more momentum and energy than sadness; thus it feels more empowering. But if you don’t intentionally choose anger for relief (in a safe space, by yourself; don’t express it to others), then as you continue judging people and circumstances, you will eventually feel sad again, and feel stuck in a cycle of sad → angry → sad → angry.
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4. Victim Mentality, Dismissive and Needing to Be Right
If you haven’t healed your inner child and trauma, you can get addicted to always feeling like a victim. You would rather be right, than happy. So you can believe you’re always right, and everyone else is wrong. You can get addicted to being dismissive of people’s perspectives (as a reflection of how you felt you were treated growing up). One advantage of continuing to feel like a victim is, you don’t have to change; everyone else has to change, because they’re the problem (i.e. you believe your negative emotions come from them). Your trauma isn’t your fault. And, healing is possible, when you feel comfortable and open to the opportunity.
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5. Procrastinating, Isolation and Abandonment
Isolation amplified after the year 2020 (gee, I wonder why…). The main appeal is having no expectations, pressure to perform, or be responsible to others. The issue is, people are simply a mirror that reflects the relationship you have with yourself. So avoiding people doesn’t get rid of your limiting beliefs; you just become less aware of them.
Also, it can be easy to get stuck in the cycle of, "I hate myself, so I don't socialize. Which makes me feel lonely. So I hate myself even more..."
Procrastinating and abandonment can cause other addictions. For ex: You’re doomscrolling until 2 am because you’re avoiding the routine to go to bed, and/ or trying to run away from feeling bored, lonely and worthless.
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6. Productivity, Maximizing and Efficiency
People thought the creation of computers would help people work less because it would do a lot of the work. Only to fast forward and realize it just raised society’s standards of the work they expected from you, causing you to ironically work more; not less. And with the emergence of A.I., hopefully we don’t repeat the same mistake.
People naturally want what’s best for them. But, if you were raised to constantly need to improve and do more, then any activity you do, can be turned into two to three activities. Maximizing your time doing one activity, while learning another (e.g. second screen viewing — which can be beneficial, but detrimental when you feel you have to do it and/or avoiding boredom). With the abundance and ease of access to learning, addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just go for a walk? Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something useful.”
Productivity addiction can justify doing less hobbies you enjoy, because they’re not making money. This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void. And, if you don’t take a break from working, then your body will do it for you.
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7. Comparing Yourself to Others and Should
When you compare yourself, you should all over yourself. “I should do this and be different,” or, “I shouldn’t have done that.” Shoulds leave you either feeling shame or resentment. If you force yourself to do what you think you should, then you sacrifice yourself, and so you feel resentment. But if you don’t do it, then you feel guilty, shame and regret. You can’t win.
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8. Limerence, One-Sided and Parasocial Relationships
You’re addicted to people who don’t care about you. You keep holding on to people whose behavior makes it clear they’re not interested in a mutually satisfying relationship (romantic or friendship). This can be celebrities, K-Pop idols, streamers, influences and/or a situationship you’ve put your life on hold for years waiting and hoping for it to become something more.
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You Didn’t Waste Your Life — There’s Still Hope

Robert Downey Jr.'s life was a disaster for years (alcohol and drug addiction, arrested, etc.) before he decided to turn it around (and iconically become Iron Man). His pain and experiences were fuel to become the actor and inspirational person that he is today. His quotes:

• “Remember that just because you hit the bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there.”
• “It’s easy to embrace hopelessness when things seem insurmountable. And yet, it’s actually just a matter of time until all of the elements come together for things to be alright. I mean, I believe that most difficult situations will resolve themselves if you are persistent and if you don’t give up entirely. And that’s what I never did; I never gave up.”

Although it may not seem like it right now, everything you have lived can be used to make you stronger, wiser, healthier and happier. Your potential has increased at least tenfold because of your “wasted” experiences. Think of it like you’re a rubber band on a slingshot; and the further back you stretched into the darkness, as you let go of limiting beliefs, you propel yourself forward that much farther into the light.
I can’t wait for you to begin seeing what you’re truly capable of in the months and years to come. When you finally stop beating up on yourself for the very past that will propel you into becoming the more compassionate, understanding, supportive, appreciative, creative, productive and fulfilled person that you want to be.
~ BFree
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Share your thoughts: What’s one step you’re going to do to let go of negative addictions and start allowing more empowering positive addictions?
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Previous Posts:
1. You Didn't Waste Your Life — You Can Always Make a Comeback
2. Healing Heartbreak — How to Move On from Breakups
3. How to Get Motivated & Disciplined — Why Forcing Yourself to “Just Do It” Ironically Doesn’t Work
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[Note: We’re focusing on emotional reasons; not physical. And this is just one perspective. Please consult your doctor for healing, withdrawals, etc.]
TL;DR: Addictions are coping mechanisms for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. You're craving intimacy and connection. And, you’re addicted because you judge yourself (and others).
Replace “addiction” with “momentum.” You hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy and motivation).

Addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something.” This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void.
Addictions are used to regulate your emotions. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck. So you’re learning how to shift from negative addictions (e.g. phone, social media, vaping, etc.) to positive addictions (e.g. meditate, exercise, dancing, drawing, etc.).
_____
Before we begin, this is important: I’m not here trying to fix you. Because I don’t think you’re broken. I believe in you. You are strong, worthy and powerful enough to transform this. You may not know how to yet, but we’ll work together in understanding what’s at the heart of the issue, to support you in allowing the life you want and deserve.
Secondary Addictions: Phone, social media, food, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, video games, relationships, attention, validation, anger, sex, porn, weed, smoking, gambling, shopping, hoarding, workaholic, perfectionist, procrastinating, etc. All of these are secondary; compensating for an even greater addiction.
Primary Addiction: You’re addicted to judging yourself (and others). Not accepting and appreciating yourself and others is the cause of secondary addictions.
Addictions are coping mechanism for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. Mistreating substances is a reflection of how you treat yourself. And the irony is, part of the source for addiction is… judging yourself for doing it.
Addiction: Consistently using a substance or experience to regulate your emotions (this can be positive or negative).
And to add another layer: Replace “addiction” with “momentum” (or movement or energy flow). There’s momentum towards what you want or don’t want, and we’re discussing shifting momentum from unwanted to wanted; negative addictions to positive. Your natural state is to feel better. But if you don’t know how to do that, then you’ll rely on circumstances and people as fuel for feeling movement. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck.
.

The Cycle of Addictions

• Unwanted/ Negative Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more external/ conditional relief; relying on circumstances and people to feel better → Until you start judging again.
• Wanted/ Positive Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more internal/ unconditional relief; relying on your ability to focus to feel better → Accepting and appreciating reduces your desire for judging and negative addictions.

Negative addictions are used to avoid negative emotions. Whereas positive addictions are used to heal and embrace negative emotions.
Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on (and judging) what you don't want. Negative emotions are just messengers of the limiting beliefs you're practicing. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, you keep yourself stuck.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad). Begin seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends, and work together as a team to help you feel better.
.

The Purpose of Addictions

Because you’re the CEO of you, you hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy, motivation and enhances a good time).

Addictions either make you feel more powerful, or distract you from feeling powerless. Negative addictions give you a false sense of security, which ironically enhances your insecurity. And that keeps you stuck in a cycle of abuse with negative addictions.
Addictions can soften your focus, so you’re distracted and more general with your thoughts (i.e. tune out). And when you focus less on details, then you’re less aware of what you specifically don’t want or have, so you judge less. And with less judgement, you slow down negative momentum, and naturally feel better.
Negative addictions can help you tune out, but they also won’t let you tune in to who you really are. So if you use substances to numb yourself, then you lose your ability to focus. But it’s your power of focusing that will set you free.
Negative addictions are trying to fill a void, with things that aren’t designed to fill it. It’s like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom; so no matter how much you put in, it's still empty. And you use secondary addictions to distract yourself so you don’t feel the emptiness. But the only way to fix the hole is to be reminded of how powerful, worthy and whole you really are. And it’s not a fact that you’re unworthy; it’s just something you’ve been taught by other people, who feel unworthy.
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Because negative addictions are coping mechanisms, then if you think it’s the cause, then not using it will be the cure. But that doesn’t work as a long-term solution because it doesn’t address the actual issue: judging. So when you stop one unwanted behavior, you’ll probably start something else; i.e. transfer addiction. Or, you can call it transfer relief.
As long as you believe negative addictions help you feel normal, then you're not incentivized to let go because it’s not in your best interest. But when you feel better first, before going to the substance or experience, then you gradually remove its purpose, and thus your desire for it.

• Instead of saying, "I'm addicted," (which is valid). It's more accurate to say, “I’m seeking relief in the best way I know how.”

Negative addictions are just tools, and you used that tool to help you through a difficult time when you didn't know what else to do. You did the best you could, and now you’re ready for a change.

• “Thank you, negative addiction. I appreciate that you supported me. But, I’m taking the company in a new direction, and I will no longer be needing your services.”

Negative addictions have imposter syndrome; and rightfully so — they’re unqualified for the job of giving you sustainable relief. So when you start hiring positive addictions, then you release the control negative addictions once had over the company (i.e. you).
And it doesn’t mean you still don’t enjoy technology, food, etc. You can let them be for fun (based on your personal boundaries), but you are in control. They’re expressions of a fulfilling life; not replacements for it.
.

Positive Addictions — What You’re Really Craving

Addictions indicate you're craving intimacy and connection. With others is nice, but you’re craving connection with yourself. And to stop an unwanted addiction, you want a new healthy habit to take its place. Because without it, there’s a power vacuum. So, what are your new healthier coping mechanisms to connect with yourself? For ex:

• "When I feel sad, I meditate for 2 - 15 minutes."
• "When I feel powerless, I exercise, go for a walk, ride a bike, or connect with nature.”
• "When I feel unloved and rejected, I connect with my body, by putting my hand on my heart, focus on deep breathing and being there for myself."
• "When I feel bored, I practice creative outlets to express myself (e.g. dancing, singing, drawing, gardening, crocheting, cooking, etc.).”

.

Tips to Start Healing

1. Be Aware. Be Mindful. Be Intentional. When using an unwanted addiction, tell yourself,

• “I am consciously using this for relief. I’m not going to judge myself, because I understand why I’m doing it. I feel lonely, bored, sad, stressed, etc. And so, I am intentionally doing this activity to feel better.”

The simple act of bringing awareness to an unwanted habit shines light into the darkness, and you start regaining your power. You’re still doing the unwanted activity, but you’re tuning in, instead of tuning out.
2. Make a Deal with Yourself. When you get tempted to do an unwanted addiction, focus on feeling better first (e.g. meditate or go for a walk for a few minutes). Then, you can still do the unwanted addiction after you feel better. (This isn’t advocating unwanted behavior, but it is being realistic in helping you wean yourself off, and begin the job transfer process from negative to positive addictions.) So it accomplishes three things:

1. You’re not depriving yourself; you’re just slightly delaying gratification, which builds up your strength of not automatically going to the same unwanted habit.
2. You’re replacing the old addiction with a better-feeling one (and notice that you’ll consume less and/ or gradually have less desire to use the substance).
3. You create self-trust and respect by making a practical deal with yourself, and showing that you’re stronger than you think and can follow through; which also gives you hope that you can do this.

3. Reduce Consumption: Adjust Time and/ or Intensity. (E.g. If you’re smoking five days a week; do only four days, or use one less a day than normal).
4. Focus on what you want to start doing, instead of what you want to stop doing. What do you want to feel?

• “I want to start feeling relief. I want to feel supported. I want to start feeling more loved and accepted for who I am. I want to feel more comfortable and ease. I want to feel more at peace myself. I want to start feeling how strong and capable my body is. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to feel clarity. I want to start looking for more activities that are fun and bring out my creativity.”

5. Your Phone Has Grayscale, which makes it black and white, thus reducing the stimulus and dopamine you receive from it. You can also turn on app limit timers and turn off notifications.
6. Find an Accountability Buddy (if you can). They don’t have to stop their unwanted addictions, but they're willing to celebrate when you succeed and support you if you fall short. So consider talking to your friends about your new commitment to your health.
7. If You Relapse, It’s Okay. Don’t judge yourself (i.e. "Why am I so weak, stupid, etc.?”). Self-judgment is self-sabotage, because it ironically fuels the very behavior you want to stop. You didn’t lose progress, because recovery isn’t a perfect straight line. It’s a process. And regardless, you’re now one step closer to your goal (with more clarity of what you don’t want, and increased desire for what you do want).
8. Self-Reflection Questions:

• "What am I afraid would happen if I stopped doing an unwanted addiction?"
• "What are the advantages of the substance or activity? How does it support me?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I accepted myself just the way I am?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I only focused on what I appreciated about myself?"

.

Honorable Mention Addictions

1. Acceptance, Caring What People Think, and Needing to Be Understood
Wanting acceptance is fine. But needing it, is not knowing your value. So you’re desperate to find ways to get people to love and understand you (i.e. people pleaser, perfectionist, workaholic, clingy, gym selfies, etc.). This also inspires arguing, needing to be right and anger addictions, because you need to feel heard and validated (instead of understanding that some people can’t or aren’t interested in understanding).
.
2. Avoiding Boredom — Social Media Consumption
Consuming vs Creating. Negative addictions can have an imbalance leaning towards consuming people’s creations, vs expressing your own. When was the last time you laid in bed at night, or waited in line at the store, and didn’t pull out your phone to distract you? Instead of simply appreciating the moment and your surroundings.
“Something distracting me is better than nothing.” But then you don’t have standards of quality; you simply have an insatiable appetite of consuming more. And if you’re not intentionally consuming media; it will consume you. It’s passive consumption; each post is a potato chip. When you don’t have a specific intention before opening an app, then you’ll most likely spend your next hour on empty emotional calories and walk away feeling worse. Excessive consuming leads to fuming and glooming.
Negative addictions can start out innocently. But like a frog in a boiling pot… you don’t notice that you increasingly rely on them for self-medicating negative emotions until you feel it’s consumed you.
.
3. Anger and Drama
When you feel bored, there’s no momentum in that. You feel lifeless; like a plank of wood floating on still water. And you would rather feel fun and excitement (i.e. positive momentum). But, if you don’t know how to generate those feelings, then you’ll settle for the next easiest emotion that has momentum, which is anger. (But anger is negative momentum; when not intentionally controlled.)
Drama feels interesting compared to boredom, until it gradually wears on you (and your relationships). So you try to give that anger addiction up. But if you don’t know how to create positive momentum, then when you get bored, you’ll reach for anger again to get your fix to feel that energy flow.
As you judge yourself, you will feel sad, and then naturally inspired to feel angry, because anger has more momentum and energy than sadness; thus it feels more empowering. But if you don’t intentionally choose anger for relief (in a safe space, by yourself; don’t express it to others), then as you continue judging people and circumstances, you will eventually feel sad again, and feel stuck in a cycle of sad → angry → sad → angry.
.
4. Victim Mentality, Dismissive and Needing to Be Right
If you haven’t healed your inner child and trauma, you can get addicted to always feeling like a victim. You would rather be right, than happy. So you can believe you’re always right, and everyone else is wrong. You can get addicted to being dismissive of people’s perspectives (as a reflection of how you felt you were treated growing up). One advantage of continuing to feel like a victim is, you don’t have to change; everyone else has to change, because they’re the problem (i.e. you believe your negative emotions come from them). Your trauma isn’t your fault. And, healing is possible, when you feel comfortable and open to the opportunity.
.
5. Procrastinating, Isolation and Abandonment
Isolation amplified after the year 2020 (gee, I wonder why…). The main appeal is having no expectations, pressure to perform, or be responsible to others. The issue is, people are simply a mirror that reflects the relationship you have with yourself. So avoiding people doesn’t get rid of your limiting beliefs; you just become less aware of them.
Also, it can be easy to get stuck in the cycle of, "I hate myself, so I don't socialize. Which makes me feel lonely. So I hate myself even more..."
Procrastinating and abandonment can cause other addictions. For ex: You’re doomscrolling until 2 am because you’re avoiding the routine to go to bed, and/ or trying to run away from feeling bored, lonely and worthless.
.
6. Productivity, Maximizing and Efficiency
People thought the creation of computers would help people work less because it would do a lot of the work. Only to fast forward and realize it just raised society’s standards of the work they expected from you, causing you to ironically work more; not less. And with the emergence of A.I., hopefully we don’t repeat the same mistake.
People naturally want what’s best for them. But, if you were raised to constantly need to improve and do more, then any activity you do, can be turned into two to three activities. Maximizing your time doing one activity, while learning another (e.g. second screen viewing — which can be beneficial, but detrimental when you feel you have to do it and/or avoiding boredom). With the abundance and ease of access to learning, addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just go for a walk? Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something useful.”
Productivity addiction can justify doing less hobbies you enjoy, because they’re not making money. This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void. And, if you don’t take a break from working, then your body will do it for you.
.
7. Comparing Yourself to Others and Should
When you compare yourself, you should all over yourself. “I should do this and be different,” or, “I shouldn’t have done that.” Shoulds leave you either feeling shame or resentment. If you force yourself to do what you think you should, then you sacrifice yourself, and so you feel resentment. But if you don’t do it, then you feel guilty, shame and regret. You can’t win.
.
8. Limerence, One-Sided and Parasocial Relationships
You’re addicted to people who don’t care about you. You keep holding on to people whose behavior makes it clear they’re not interested in a mutually satisfying relationship (romantic or friendship). This can be celebrities, K-Pop idols, streamers, influences and/or a situationship you’ve put your life on hold for years waiting and hoping for it to become something more.
.

You Didn’t Waste Your Life — There’s Still Hope

Robert Downey Jr.'s life was a disaster for years (alcohol and drug addiction, arrested, etc.) before he decided to turn it around (and iconically become Iron Man). His pain and experiences were fuel to become the actor and inspirational person that he is today. His quotes:

• “Remember that just because you hit the bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there.”
• “It’s easy to embrace hopelessness when things seem insurmountable. And yet, it’s actually just a matter of time until all of the elements come together for things to be alright. I mean, I believe that most difficult situations will resolve themselves if you are persistent and if you don’t give up entirely. And that’s what I never did; I never gave up.”

Although it may not seem like it right now, everything you have lived can be used to make you stronger, wiser, healthier and happier. Your potential has increased at least tenfold because of your “wasted” experiences. Think of it like you’re a rubber band on a slingshot; and the further back you stretched into the darkness, as you let go of limiting beliefs, you propel yourself forward that much farther into the light.
I can’t wait for you to begin seeing what you’re truly capable of in the months and years to come. When you finally stop beating up on yourself for the very past that will propel you into becoming the more compassionate, understanding, supportive, appreciative, creative, productive and fulfilled person that you want to be.
~ BFree
.
Share your thoughts: What’s one step you’re going to do to let go of negative addictions and start allowing more empowering positive addictions?
.

[Note: We’re focusing on emotional reasons; not physical. And this is just one perspective. Please consult your doctor for healing, withdrawals, etc.]
TL;DR: Addictions are coping mechanisms for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. You're craving intimacy and connection. And, you’re addicted because you judge yourself (and others).
Replace “addiction” with “momentum.” You hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy and motivation).

Addictions are used to regulate your emotions. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck. So you’re learning how to shift from negative addictions (e.g. social media, junk food, vaping, etc.) to positive addictions (e.g. meditate, exercise, dancing, drawing, etc.).
_____
Before we begin, this is important: I’m not here trying to fix you. Because I don’t think you’re broken. I believe in you. You are strong, worthy and powerful enough to transform this. You may not know how to yet, but we’ll work together in understanding what’s at the heart of the issue, to support you in allowing the life you want and deserve.
Secondary Addictions: Phone, social media, food, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, video games, relationships, attention, validation, anger, sex, porn, weed, smoking, gambling, shopping, hoarding, workaholic, perfectionist, procrastinating, etc. All of these are secondary; compensating for an even greater addiction.
Primary Addiction: You’re addicted to judging yourself (and others). Not accepting and appreciating yourself and others is the cause of secondary addictions.
Addictions are coping mechanism for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. Mistreating substances is a reflection of how you treat yourself. And the irony is, part of the source for addiction is… judging yourself for doing it.
Addiction: Consistently using a substance or experience to regulate your emotions (this can be positive or negative).
And to add another layer: Replace “addiction” with “momentum” (or movement or energy flow). There’s momentum towards what you want or don’t want, and we’re discussing shifting momentum from unwanted to wanted; negative addictions to positive. Your natural state is to feel better. But if you don’t know how to do that, then you’ll rely on circumstances and people as fuel for feeling movement. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck.
.

The Cycle of Addictions

• Unwanted/ Negative Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more external/ conditional relief; relying on circumstances and people to feel better → Until you start judging again.
• Wanted/ Positive Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more internal/ unconditional relief; relying on your ability to focus to feel better → Accepting and appreciating reduces your desire for judging and negative addictions.

Negative addictions are used to avoid negative emotions. Whereas positive addictions are used to heal and embrace negative emotions.
Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on (and judging) what you don't want. Negative emotions are just messengers of the limiting beliefs you're practicing. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, you keep yourself stuck.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad). Begin seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends, and work together as a team to help you feel better.
.

The Purpose of Addictions

Because you’re the CEO of you, you hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy, motivation and enhances a good time).

Addictions either make you feel more powerful, or distract you from feeling powerless. Negative addictions give you a false sense of security, which ironically enhances your insecurity. And that keeps you stuck in a cycle of abuse with negative addictions.
Addictions can soften your focus, so you’re distracted and more general with your thoughts (i.e. tune out). And when you focus less on details, then you’re less aware of what you specifically don’t want or have, so you judge less. And with less judgement, you slow down negative momentum, and naturally feel better.
Negative addictions can help you tune out, but they also won’t let you tune in to who you really are. So if you use substances to numb yourself, then you lose your ability to focus. But it’s your power of focusing that will set you free.
Negative addictions are trying to fill a void, with things that aren’t designed to fill it. It’s like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom; so no matter how much you put in, it's still empty. And you use secondary addictions to distract yourself so you don’t feel the emptiness. But the only way to fix the hole is to be reminded of how powerful, worthy and whole you really are. And it’s not a fact that you’re unworthy; it’s just something you’ve been taught by other people, who feel unworthy.
.
Because negative addictions are coping mechanisms, then if you think it’s the cause, then not using it will be the cure. But that doesn’t work as a long-term solution because it doesn’t address the actual issue: judging. So when you stop one unwanted behavior, you’ll probably start something else; i.e. transfer addiction. Or, you can call it transfer relief.
As long as you believe negative addictions help you feel normal, then you're not incentivized to let go because it’s not in your best interest. But when you feel better first, before going to the substance or experience, then you gradually remove its purpose, and thus your desire for it.

• Instead of saying, "I'm addicted," (which is valid). It's more accurate to say, “I’m seeking relief in the best way I know how.”

Negative addictions are just tools, and you used that tool to help you through a difficult time when you didn't know what else to do. You did the best you could, and now you’re ready for a change.

• “Thank you, negative addiction. I appreciate that you supported me. But, I’m taking the company in a new direction, and I will no longer be needing your services.”

Negative addictions have imposter syndrome; and rightfully so — they’re unqualified for the job of giving you sustainable relief. So when you start hiring positive addictions, then you release the control negative addictions once had over the company (i.e. you).
And it doesn’t mean you still don’t enjoy technology, food, etc. You can let them be for fun (based on your personal boundaries), but you are in control. They’re expressions of a fulfilling life; not replacements for it.
.

Positive Addictions — What You’re Really Craving

Addictions indicate you're craving intimacy and connection. With others is nice, but you’re craving connection with yourself. And to stop an unwanted addiction, you want a new healthy habit to take its place. Because without it, there’s a power vacuum. So, what are your new healthier coping mechanisms to connect with yourself? For ex:

• "When I feel sad, I meditate for 2 - 15 minutes."
• "When I feel powerless, I exercise, go for a walk, ride a bike, or connect with nature.”
• "When I feel unloved and rejected, I connect with my body, by putting my hand on my heart, focus on deep breathing and being there for myself."
• "When I feel bored, I practice creative outlets to express myself (e.g. dancing, singing, drawing, gardening, crocheting, cooking, etc.).”

.

Tips to Start Healing

1. Be Aware. Be Mindful. Be Intentional. When using an unwanted addiction, tell yourself,

• “I am consciously using this for relief. I’m not going to judge myself, because I understand why I’m doing it. I feel lonely, bored, sad, stressed, etc. And so, I am intentionally doing this activity to feel better.”

The simple act of bringing awareness to an unwanted habit shines light into the darkness, and you start regaining your power. You’re still doing the unwanted activity, but you’re tuning in, instead of tuning out.
2. Make a Deal with Yourself. When you get tempted to do an unwanted addiction, focus on feeling better first (e.g. meditate or go for a walk for a few minutes). Then, you can still do the unwanted addiction after you feel better. (This isn’t advocating unwanted behavior, but it is being realistic in helping you wean yourself off, and begin the job transfer process from negative to positive addictions.) So it accomplishes three things:

1. You’re not depriving yourself; you’re just slightly delaying gratification, which builds up your strength of not automatically going to the same unwanted habit.
2. You’re replacing the old addiction with a better-feeling one (and notice that you’ll consume less and/ or gradually have less desire to use the substance).
3. You create self-trust and respect by making a practical deal with yourself, and showing that you’re stronger than you think and can follow through; which also gives you hope that you can do this.

3. Reduce Consumption: Adjust Time and/ or Intensity. (E.g. If you’re smoking five days a week; do only four days, or use one less a day than normal).
4. Focus on what you want to start doing, instead of what you want to stop doing. What do you want to feel?

• “I want to start feeling relief. I want to feel supported. I want to start feeling more loved and accepted for who I am. I want to feel more comfortable and ease. I want to feel more at peace myself. I want to start feeling how strong and capable my body is. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to feel clarity. I want to start looking for more activities that are fun and bring out my creativity.”

5. Your Phone Has Grayscale, which makes it black and white, thus reducing the stimulus and dopamine you receive from it. You can also turn on app limit timers and turn off notifications.
6. Find an Accountability Buddy (if you can). They don’t have to stop their unwanted addictions, but they're willing to celebrate when you succeed and support you if you fall short. Also consider talking to your smoking or drinking buddies about your new commitment to your health.
7. If You Relapse, It’s Okay. Don’t judge yourself (i.e. "Why am I so weak, stupid, etc.?”). Self-judgment is self-sabotage, because it ironically fuels the very behavior you want to stop. You didn’t lose progress, because recovery isn’t a perfect straight line. It’s a process. And regardless, you’re now one step closer to your goal (with more clarity of what you don’t want, and increased desire for what you do want).
8. Self-Reflection Questions:

• "What am I afraid would happen if I stopped doing an unwanted addiction?"
• "What are the advantages of the substance or activity? How does it support me?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I accepted myself just the way I am?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I only focused on what I appreciated about myself?"

.

Honorable Mention Addictions

1. Acceptance, Caring What People Think, and Needing to Be Understood
Wanting acceptance is fine. But needing it, is not knowing your value. So you’re desperate to find ways to get people to love and understand you (i.e. people pleaser, perfectionist, workaholic, clingy, gym selfies, etc.). This also inspires arguing, needing to be right and anger addictions, because you need to feel heard and validated (instead of understanding that some people can’t or aren’t interested in understanding).
.
2. Avoiding Boredom — Social Media Consumption
Consuming vs Creating. Negative addictions can have an imbalance leaning towards consuming people’s creations, vs expressing your own. When was the last time you laid in bed at night, or waited in line at the store, and didn’t pull out your phone to distract you? Instead of simply appreciating the moment and your surroundings.
“Something distracting me is better than nothing.” But then you don’t have standards of quality; you simply have an insatiable appetite of consuming more. And if you’re not intentionally consuming media; it will consume you. It’s passive consumption; each post is a potato chip. When you don’t have a specific intention before opening an app, then you’ll most likely spend your next hour on empty emotional calories and walk away feeling worse. Excessive consuming leads to fuming and glooming.
Negative addictions can start out innocently. But like a frog in a boiling pot… you don’t notice that you increasingly rely on them for self-medicating negative emotions until you feel it’s consumed you.
.
3. Anger and Drama
When you feel bored, there’s no momentum in that. You feel lifeless; like a plank of wood floating on still water. And you would rather feel fun and excitement (i.e. positive momentum). But, if you don’t know how to generate those feelings, then you’ll settle for the next easiest emotion that has momentum, which is anger. (But anger is negative momentum; when not intentionally controlled.)
Drama feels interesting compared to boredom, until it gradually wears on you (and your relationships). So you try to give that anger addiction up. But if you don’t know how to create positive momentum, then when you get bored, you’ll reach for anger again to get your fix to feel that energy flow.
As you judge yourself, you will feel sad, and then naturally inspired to feel angry, because anger has more momentum and energy than sadness; thus it feels more empowering. But if you don’t intentionally choose anger for relief (in a safe space, by yourself; don’t express it to others), then as you continue judging people and circumstances, you will eventually feel sad again, and feel stuck in a cycle of sad → angry → sad → angry.
.
4. Victim Mentality, Dismissive and Needing to Be Right
If you haven’t healed your inner child and trauma, you can get addicted to always feeling like a victim. You would rather be right, than happy. So you can believe you’re always right, and everyone else is wrong. You can get addicted to being dismissive of people’s perspectives (as a reflection of how you felt you were treated growing up). One advantage of continuing to feel like a victim is, you don’t have to change; everyone else has to change, because they’re the problem (i.e. you believe your negative emotions come from them). Your trauma isn’t your fault. And, healing is possible, when you feel comfortable and open to the opportunity.
.
5. Procrastinating, Isolation and Abandonment
Isolation amplified after the year 2020 (gee, I wonder why…). The main appeal is having no expectations, pressure to perform, or be responsible to others. The issue is, people are simply a mirror that reflects the relationship you have with yourself. So avoiding people doesn’t get rid of your limiting beliefs; you just become less aware of them.
Also, it can be easy to get stuck in the cycle of, "I hate myself, so I don't socialize. Which makes me feel lonely. So I hate myself even more..."
Procrastinating and abandonment can cause other addictions. For ex: You’re doomscrolling until 2 am because you’re avoiding the routine to go to bed, and/ or trying to run away from feeling bored, lonely and worthless.
.
6. Productivity, Maximizing and Efficiency
People thought the creation of computers would help people work less because it would do a lot of the work. Only to fast forward and realize it just raised society’s standards of the work they expected from you, causing you to ironically work more; not less. And with the emergence of A.I., hopefully we don’t repeat the same mistake.
People naturally want what’s best for them. But, if you were raised to constantly need to improve and do more, then any activity you do, can be turned into two to three activities. Maximizing your time doing one activity, while learning another (e.g. second screen viewing — which can be beneficial, but detrimental when you feel you have to do it and/or avoiding boredom). With the abundance and ease of access to learning, addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just go for a walk? Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something useful.”
Productivity addiction can justify doing less hobbies you enjoy, because they’re not making money. This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void. And, if you don’t take a break from working, then your body will do it for you.
.
7. Comparing Yourself to Others and Should
When you compare yourself, you should all over yourself. “I should do this and be different,” or, “I shouldn’t have done that.” Shoulds leave you either feeling shame or resentment. If you force yourself to do what you think you should, then you sacrifice yourself, and so you feel resentment. But if you don’t do it, then you feel guilty, shame and regret. You can’t win.
.
8. Limerence, One-Sided and Parasocial Relationships
You’re addicted to people who don’t care about you. You keep holding on to people whose behavior makes it clear they’re not interested in a mutually satisfying relationship (romantic or friendship). This can be celebrities, K-Pop idols, streamers, influences and/or a situationship you’ve put your life on hold for years waiting and hoping for it to become something more.
.

You Didn’t Waste Your Life — There’s Still Hope

Robert Downey Jr.'s life was a disaster for years (alcohol and drug addiction, arrested, etc.) before he decided to turn it around (and iconically become Iron Man). His pain and experiences were fuel to become the actor and inspirational person that he is today. His quotes:

• “Remember that just because you hit the bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there.”
• “It’s easy to embrace hopelessness when things seem insurmountable. And yet, it’s actually just a matter of time until all of the elements come together for things to be alright. I mean, I believe that most difficult situations will resolve themselves if you are persistent and if you don’t give up entirely. And that’s what I never did; I never gave up.”

Although it may not seem like it right now, everything you have lived can be used to make you stronger, wiser, healthier and happier. Your potential has increased at least tenfold because of your “wasted” experiences. Think of it like you’re a rubber band on a slingshot; and the further back you stretched into the darkness, as you let go of limiting beliefs, you propel yourself forward that much farther into the light.
I can’t wait for you to begin seeing what you’re truly capable of in the months and years to come. When you finally stop beating up on yourself for the very past that will propel you into becoming the more compassionate, understanding, supportive, appreciative, creative, productive and fulfilled person that you want to be.
~ BFree
.
Share your thoughts: What’s one step you’re going to do to let go of negative addictions and start allowing more empowering positive addictions?
.

[Note: We’re focusing on emotional reasons; not physical. And this is just one perspective. Please consult your doctor for healing, withdrawals, etc.]
TL;DR: Addictions are coping mechanisms for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. You're craving intimacy and connection. And, you’re addicted because you judge yourself (and others).
Replace “addiction” with “momentum.” You hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy and motivation).

Addictions are used to regulate your emotions. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck. So you’re learning how to shift from negative addictions (e.g. social media, junk food, vaping, etc.) to positive addictions (e.g. meditate, exercise, dancing, drawing, etc.).
_____
Before we begin, this is important: I’m not here trying to fix you. Because I don’t think you’re broken. I believe in you. You are strong, worthy and powerful enough to transform this. You may not know how to yet, but we’ll work together in understanding what’s at the heart of the issue, to support you in allowing the life you want and deserve.
Secondary Addictions: Phone, social media, food, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, video games, relationships, attention, validation, anger, sex, porn, weed, smoking, gambling, shopping, hoarding, workaholic, perfectionist, procrastinating, etc. All of these are secondary; compensating for an even greater addiction.
Primary Addiction: You’re addicted to judging yourself (and others). Not accepting and appreciating yourself and others is the cause of secondary addictions.
Addictions are coping mechanism for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. Mistreating substances is a reflection of how you treat yourself. And the irony is, part of the source for addiction is… judging yourself for doing it.
Addiction: Consistently using a substance or experience to regulate your emotions (this can be positive or negative).
And to add another layer: Replace “addiction” with “momentum” (or movement or energy flow). There’s momentum towards what you want or don’t want, and we’re discussing shifting momentum from unwanted to wanted; negative addictions to positive. Your natural state is to feel better. But if you don’t know how to do that, then you’ll rely on circumstances and people as fuel for feeling movement. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck.
.

The Cycle of Addictions

• Unwanted/ Negative Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more external/ conditional relief; relying on circumstances and people to feel better → Until you start judging again.
• Wanted/ Positive Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more internal/ unconditional relief; relying on your ability to focus to feel better → Accepting and appreciating reduces your desire for judging and negative addictions.

Negative addictions are used to avoid negative emotions. Whereas positive addictions are used to heal and embrace negative emotions.
Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on (and judging) what you don't want. Negative emotions are just messengers of the limiting beliefs you're practicing. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, you keep yourself stuck.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad). Begin seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends, and work together as a team to help you feel better.
.

The Purpose of Addictions

Because you’re the CEO of you, you hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy, motivation and enhances a good time).

Addictions either make you feel more powerful, or distract you from feeling powerless. Negative addictions give you a false sense of security, which ironically enhances your insecurity. And that keeps you stuck in a cycle of abuse with negative addictions.
Addictions can soften your focus, so you’re distracted and more general with your thoughts (i.e. tune out). And when you focus less on details, then you’re less aware of what you specifically don’t want or have, so you judge less. And with less judgement, you slow down negative momentum, and naturally feel better.
Negative addictions can help you tune out, but they also won’t let you tune in to who you really are. So if you use substances to numb yourself, then you lose your ability to focus. But it’s your power of focusing that will set you free.
Negative addictions are trying to fill a void, with things that aren’t designed to fill it. It’s like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom; so no matter how much you put in, it's still empty. And you use secondary addictions to distract yourself so you don’t feel the emptiness. But the only way to fix the hole is to be reminded of how powerful, worthy and whole you really are. And it’s not a fact that you’re unworthy; it’s just something you’ve been taught by other people, who feel unworthy.
.
Because negative addictions are coping mechanisms, then if you think it’s the cause, then not using it will be the cure. But that doesn’t work as a long-term solution because it doesn’t address the actual issue: judging. So when you stop one unwanted behavior, you’ll probably start something else; i.e. transfer addiction. Or, you can call it transfer relief.
As long as you believe negative addictions help you feel normal, then you're not incentivized to let go because it’s not in your best interest. But when you feel better first, before going to the substance or experience, then you gradually remove its purpose, and thus your desire for it.

• Instead of saying, "I'm addicted," (which is valid). It's more accurate to say, “I’m seeking relief in the best way I know how.”

Negative addictions are just tools, and you used that tool to help you through a difficult time when you didn't know what else to do. You did the best you could, and now you’re ready for a change.

• “Thank you, negative addiction. I appreciate that you supported me. But, I’m taking the company in a new direction, and I will no longer be needing your services.”

Negative addictions have imposter syndrome; and rightfully so — they’re unqualified for the job of giving you sustainable relief. So when you start hiring positive addictions, then you release the control negative addictions once had over the company (i.e. you).
And it doesn’t mean you still don’t enjoy technology, food, etc. You can let them be for fun (based on your personal boundaries), but you are in control. They’re expressions of a fulfilling life; not replacements for it.
.

Positive Addictions — What You’re Really Craving

Addictions indicate you're craving intimacy and connection. With others is nice, but you’re craving connection with yourself. And to stop an unwanted addiction, you want a new healthy habit to take its place. Because without it, there’s a power vacuum. So, what are your new healthier coping mechanisms to connect with yourself? For ex:

• "When I feel sad, I meditate for 2 - 15 minutes."
• "When I feel powerless, I exercise, go for a walk, ride a bike, or connect with nature.”
• "When I feel unloved and rejected, I connect with my body, by putting my hand on my heart, focus on deep breathing and being there for myself."
• "When I feel bored, I practice creative outlets to express myself (e.g. dancing, singing, drawing, gardening, crocheting, cooking, etc.).”

.

Tips to Start Healing

1. Be Aware. Be Mindful. Be Intentional. When using an unwanted addiction, tell yourself,

• “I am consciously using this for relief. I’m not going to judge myself, because I understand why I’m doing it. I feel lonely, bored, sad, stressed, etc. And so, I am intentionally doing this activity to feel better.”

The simple act of bringing awareness to an unwanted habit shines light into the darkness, and you start regaining your power. You’re still doing the unwanted activity, but you’re tuning in, instead of tuning out.
2. Make a Deal with Yourself. When you get tempted to do an unwanted addiction, focus on feeling better first (e.g. meditate or go for a walk for a few minutes). Then, you can still do the unwanted addiction after you feel better. (This isn’t advocating unwanted behavior, but it is being realistic in helping you wean yourself off, and begin the job transfer process from negative to positive addictions.) So it accomplishes three things:

1. You’re not depriving yourself; you’re just slightly delaying gratification, which builds up your strength of not automatically going to the same unwanted habit.
2. You’re replacing the old addiction with a better-feeling one (and notice that you’ll consume less and/ or gradually have less desire to use the substance).
3. You create self-trust and respect by making a practical deal with yourself, and showing that you’re stronger than you think and can follow through; which also gives you hope that you can do this.

3. Reduce Consumption: Adjust Time and/ or Intensity. (E.g. If you’re smoking five days a week; do only four days, or use one less a day than normal).
4. Focus on what you want to start doing, instead of what you want to stop doing. What do you want to feel?

• “I want to start feeling relief. I want to feel supported. I want to start feeling more loved and accepted for who I am. I want to feel more comfortable and ease. I want to feel more at peace myself. I want to start feeling how strong and capable my body is. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to feel clarity. I want to start looking for more activities that are fun and bring out my creativity.”

5. Your Phone Has Grayscale, which makes it black and white, thus reducing the stimulus and dopamine you receive from it. You can also turn on app limit timers and turn off notifications.
6. Find an Accountability Buddy (if you can). They don’t have to stop their unwanted addictions, but they're willing to celebrate when you succeed and support you if you fall short. Also consider talking to your smoking or drinking buddies about your new commitment to your health.
7. If You Relapse, It’s Okay. Don’t judge yourself (i.e. "Why am I so weak, stupid, etc.?”). Self-judgment is self-sabotage, because it ironically fuels the very behavior you want to stop. You didn’t lose progress, because recovery isn’t a perfect straight line. It’s a process. And regardless, you’re now one step closer to your goal (with more clarity of what you don’t want, and increased desire for what you do want).
8. Self-Reflection Questions:

• "What am I afraid would happen if I stopped doing an unwanted addiction?"
• "What are the advantages of the substance or activity? How does it support me?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I accepted myself just the way I am?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I only focused on what I appreciated about myself?"

.

Honorable Mention Addictions

1. Acceptance, Caring What People Think, and Needing to Be Understood
Wanting acceptance is fine. But needing it, is not knowing your value. So you’re desperate to find ways to get people to love and understand you (i.e. people pleaser, perfectionist, workaholic, clingy, gym selfies, etc.). This also inspires arguing, needing to be right and anger addictions, because you need to feel heard and validated (instead of understanding that some people can’t or aren’t interested in understanding).
.
2. Avoiding Boredom — Social Media Consumption
Consuming vs Creating. Negative addictions can have an imbalance leaning towards consuming people’s creations, vs expressing your own. When was the last time you laid in bed at night, or waited in line at the store, and didn’t pull out your phone to distract you? Instead of simply appreciating the moment and your surroundings.
“Something distracting me is better than nothing.” But then you don’t have standards of quality; you simply have an insatiable appetite of consuming more. And if you’re not intentionally consuming media; it will consume you. It’s passive consumption; each post is a potato chip. When you don’t have a specific intention before opening an app, then you’ll most likely spend your next hour on empty emotional calories and walk away feeling worse. Excessive consuming leads to fuming and glooming.
Negative addictions can start out innocently. But like a frog in a boiling pot… you don’t notice that you increasingly rely on them for self-medicating negative emotions until you feel it’s consumed you.
.
3. Anger and Drama
When you feel bored, there’s no momentum in that. You feel lifeless; like a plank of wood floating on still water. And you would rather feel fun and excitement (i.e. positive momentum). But, if you don’t know how to generate those feelings, then you’ll settle for the next easiest emotion that has momentum, which is anger. (But anger is negative momentum; when not intentionally controlled.)
Drama feels interesting compared to boredom, until it gradually wears on you (and your relationships). So you try to give that anger addiction up. But if you don’t know how to create positive momentum, then when you get bored, you’ll reach for anger again to get your fix to feel that energy flow.
As you judge yourself, you will feel sad, and then naturally inspired to feel angry, because anger has more momentum and energy than sadness; thus it feels more empowering. But if you don’t intentionally choose anger for relief (in a safe space, by yourself; don’t express it to others), then as you continue judging people and circumstances, you will eventually feel sad again, and feel stuck in a cycle of sad → angry → sad → angry.
.
4. Victim Mentality, Dismissive and Needing to Be Right
If you haven’t healed your inner child and trauma, you can get addicted to always feeling like a victim. You would rather be right, than happy. So you can believe you’re always right, and everyone else is wrong. You can get addicted to being dismissive of people’s perspectives (as a reflection of how you felt you were treated growing up). One advantage of continuing to feel like a victim is, you don’t have to change; everyone else has to change, because they’re the problem (i.e. you believe your negative emotions come from them). Your trauma isn’t your fault. And, healing is possible, when you feel comfortable and open to the opportunity.
.
5. Procrastinating, Isolation and Abandonment
Isolation amplified after the year 2020 (gee, I wonder why…). The main appeal is having no expectations, pressure to perform, or be responsible to others. The issue is, people are simply a mirror that reflects the relationship you have with yourself. So avoiding people doesn’t get rid of your limiting beliefs; you just become less aware of them.
Also, it can be easy to get stuck in the cycle of, "I hate myself, so I don't socialize. Which makes me feel lonely. So I hate myself even more..."
Procrastinating and abandonment can cause other addictions. For ex: You’re doomscrolling until 2 am because you’re avoiding the routine to go to bed, and/ or trying to run away from feeling bored, lonely and worthless.
.
6. Productivity, Maximizing and Efficiency
People thought the creation of computers would help people work less because it would do a lot of the work. Only to fast forward and realize it just raised society’s standards of the work they expected from you, causing you to ironically work more; not less. And with the emergence of A.I., hopefully we don’t repeat the same mistake.
People naturally want what’s best for them. But, if you were raised to constantly need to improve and do more, then any activity you do, can be turned into two to three activities. Maximizing your time doing one activity, while learning another (e.g. second screen viewing — which can be beneficial, but detrimental when you feel you have to do it and/or avoiding boredom). With the abundance and ease of access to learning, addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just go for a walk? Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something useful.”
Productivity addiction can justify doing less hobbies you enjoy, because they’re not making money. This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void. And, if you don’t take a break from working, then your body will do it for you.
.
7. Comparing Yourself to Others and Should
When you compare yourself, you should all over yourself. “I should do this and be different,” or, “I shouldn’t have done that.” Shoulds leave you either feeling shame or resentment. If you force yourself to do what you think you should, then you sacrifice yourself, and so you feel resentment. But if you don’t do it, then you feel guilty, shame and regret. You can’t win.
.
8. Limerence, One-Sided and Parasocial Relationships
You’re addicted to people who don’t care about you. You keep holding on to people whose behavior makes it clear they’re not interested in a mutually satisfying relationship (romantic or friendship). This can be celebrities, K-Pop idols, streamers, influences and/or a situationship you’ve put your life on hold for years waiting and hoping for it to become something more.
.

You Didn’t Waste Your Life — There’s Still Hope

Robert Downey Jr.'s life was a disaster for years (alcohol and drug addiction, arrested, etc.) before he decided to turn it around (and iconically become Iron Man). His pain and experiences were fuel to become the actor and inspirational person that he is today. His quotes:

• “Remember that just because you hit the bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there.”
• “It’s easy to embrace hopelessness when things seem insurmountable. And yet, it’s actually just a matter of time until all of the elements come together for things to be alright. I mean, I believe that most difficult situations will resolve themselves if you are persistent and if you don’t give up entirely. And that’s what I never did; I never gave up.”

Although it may not seem like it right now, everything you have lived can be used to make you stronger, wiser, healthier and happier. Your potential has increased at least tenfold because of your “wasted” experiences. Think of it like you’re a rubber band on a slingshot; and the further back you stretched into the darkness, as you let go of limiting beliefs, you propel yourself forward that much farther into the light.
I can’t wait for you to begin seeing what you’re truly capable of in the months and years to come. When you finally stop beating up on yourself for the very past that will propel you into becoming the more compassionate, understanding, supportive, appreciative, creative, productive and fulfilled person that you want to be.
~ BFree
.
Share your thoughts: What’s one step you’re going to do to let go of negative addictions and start allowing more empowering positive addictions?
.

[Note: We’re focusing on emotional reasons; not physical. And this is just one perspective. Please consult your doctor for healing, withdrawals, etc.]
TL;DR: Addictions are coping mechanisms for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. You're craving intimacy and connection. And, you’re addicted because you judge yourself (and others).
Replace “addiction” with “momentum.” You hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy and motivation).

Addictions are used to regulate your emotions. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck. So you’re learning how to shift from negative addictions (e.g. social media, junk food, vaping, etc.) to positive addictions (e.g. meditate, exercise, dancing, drawing, etc.).
_____
Before we begin, this is important: I’m not here trying to fix you. Because I don’t think you’re broken. I believe in you. You are strong, worthy and powerful enough to transform this. You may not know how to yet, but we’ll work together in understanding what’s at the heart of the issue, to support you in allowing the life you want and deserve.
Secondary Addictions: Phone, social media, food, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, video games, relationships, attention, validation, anger, sex, porn, weed, smoking, gambling, shopping, hoarding, workaholic, perfectionist, procrastinating, etc. All of these are secondary; compensating for an even greater addiction.
Primary Addiction: You’re addicted to judging yourself (and others). Not accepting and appreciating yourself and others is the cause of secondary addictions.
Addictions are coping mechanism for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. Mistreating substances is a reflection of how you treat yourself. And the irony is, part of the source for addiction is… judging yourself for doing it.
Addiction: Consistently using a substance or experience to regulate your emotions (this can be positive or negative).
And to add another layer: Replace “addiction” with “momentum” (or movement or energy flow). There’s momentum towards what you want or don’t want, and we’re discussing shifting momentum from unwanted to wanted; negative addictions to positive. Your natural state is to feel better. But if you don’t know how to do that, then you’ll rely on circumstances and people as fuel for feeling movement. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck.
.

The Cycle of Addictions

• Unwanted/ Negative Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more external/ conditional relief; relying on circumstances and people to feel better → Until you start judging again.
• Wanted/ Positive Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more internal/ unconditional relief; relying on your ability to focus to feel better → Accepting and appreciating reduces your desire for judging and negative addictions.

Negative addictions are used to avoid negative emotions. Whereas positive addictions are used to heal and embrace negative emotions.
Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on (and judging) what you don't want. Negative emotions are just messengers of the limiting beliefs you're practicing. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, you keep yourself stuck.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad). Begin seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends, and work together as a team to help you feel better.
.

The Purpose of Addictions

Because you’re the CEO of you, you hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy, motivation and enhances a good time).

Addictions either make you feel more powerful, or distract you from feeling powerless. Negative addictions give you a false sense of security, which ironically enhances your insecurity. And that keeps you stuck in a cycle of abuse with negative addictions.
Addictions can soften your focus, so you’re distracted and more general with your thoughts (i.e. tune out). And when you focus less on details, then you’re less aware of what you specifically don’t want or have, so you judge less. And with less judgement, you slow down negative momentum, and naturally feel better.
Negative addictions can help you tune out, but they also won’t let you tune in to who you really are. So if you use substances to numb yourself, then you lose your ability to focus. But it’s your power of focusing that will set you free.
Negative addictions are trying to fill a void, with things that aren’t designed to fill it. It’s like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom; so no matter how much you put in, it's still empty. And you use secondary addictions to distract yourself so you don’t feel the emptiness. But the only way to fix the hole is to be reminded of how powerful, worthy and whole you really are. And it’s not a fact that you’re unworthy; it’s just something you’ve been taught by other people, who feel unworthy.
.
Because negative addictions are coping mechanisms, then if you think it’s the cause, then not using it will be the cure. But that doesn’t work as a long-term solution because it doesn’t address the actual issue: judging. So when you stop one unwanted behavior, you’ll probably start something else; i.e. transfer addiction. Or, you can call it transfer relief.
As long as you believe negative addictions help you feel normal, then you're not incentivized to let go because it’s not in your best interest. But when you feel better first, before going to the substance or experience, then you gradually remove its purpose, and thus your desire for it.

• Instead of saying, "I'm addicted," (which is valid). It's more accurate to say, “I’m seeking relief in the best way I know how.”

Negative addictions are just tools, and you used that tool to help you through a difficult time when you didn't know what else to do. You did the best you could, and now you’re ready for a change.

• “Thank you, negative addiction. I appreciate that you supported me. But, I’m taking the company in a new direction, and I will no longer be needing your services.”

Negative addictions have imposter syndrome; and rightfully so — they’re unqualified for the job of giving you sustainable relief. So when you start hiring positive addictions, then you release the control negative addictions once had over the company (i.e. you).
And it doesn’t mean you still don’t enjoy technology, food, etc. You can let them be for fun (based on your personal boundaries), but you are in control. They’re expressions of a fulfilling life; not replacements for it.
.

Positive Addictions — What You’re Really Craving

Addictions indicate you're craving intimacy and connection. With others is nice, but you’re craving connection with yourself. And to stop an unwanted addiction, you want a new healthy habit to take its place. Because without it, there’s a power vacuum. So, what are your new healthier coping mechanisms to connect with yourself? For ex:

• "When I feel sad, I meditate for 2 - 15 minutes."
• "When I feel powerless, I exercise, go for a walk, ride a bike, or connect with nature.”
• "When I feel unloved and rejected, I connect with my body, by putting my hand on my heart, focus on deep breathing and being there for myself."
• "When I feel bored, I practice creative outlets to express myself (e.g. dancing, singing, drawing, gardening, crocheting, cooking, etc.).”

.

Tips to Start Healing

1. Be Aware. Be Mindful. Be Intentional. When using an unwanted addiction, tell yourself,

• “I am consciously using this for relief. I’m not going to judge myself, because I understand why I’m doing it. I feel lonely, bored, sad, stressed, etc. And so, I am intentionally doing this activity to feel better.”

The simple act of bringing awareness to an unwanted habit shines light into the darkness, and you start regaining your power. You’re still doing the unwanted activity, but you’re tuning in, instead of tuning out.
2. Make a Deal with Yourself. When you get tempted to do an unwanted addiction, focus on feeling better first (e.g. meditate or go for a walk for a few minutes). Then, you can still do the unwanted addiction after you feel better. (This isn’t advocating unwanted behavior, but it is being realistic in helping you wean yourself off, and begin the job transfer process from negative to positive addictions.) So it accomplishes three things:

1. You’re not depriving yourself; you’re just slightly delaying gratification, which builds up your strength of not automatically going to the same unwanted habit.
2. You’re replacing the old addiction with a better-feeling one (and notice that you’ll consume less and/ or gradually have less desire to use the substance).
3. You create self-trust and respect by making a practical deal with yourself, and showing that you’re stronger than you think and can follow through; which also gives you hope that you can do this.

3. Reduce Consumption: Adjust Time and/ or Intensity. (E.g. If you’re smoking five days a week; do only four days, or use one less a day than normal).
4. Focus on what you want to start doing, instead of what you want to stop doing. What do you want to feel?

• “I want to start feeling relief. I want to feel supported. I want to start feeling more loved and accepted for who I am. I want to feel more comfortable and ease. I want to feel more at peace myself. I want to start feeling how strong and capable my body is. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to feel clarity. I want to start looking for more activities that are fun and bring out my creativity.”

5. Your Phone Has Grayscale, which makes it black and white, thus reducing the stimulus and dopamine you receive from it. You can also turn on app limit timers and turn off notifications.
6. Find an Accountability Buddy (if you can). They don’t have to stop their unwanted addictions, but they're willing to celebrate when you succeed and support you if you fall short. Also consider talking to your smoking or drinking buddies about your new commitment to your health.
7. If You Relapse, It’s Okay. Don’t judge yourself (i.e. "Why am I so weak, stupid, etc.?”). Self-judgment is self-sabotage, because it ironically fuels the very behavior you want to stop. You didn’t lose progress, because recovery isn’t a perfect straight line. It’s a process. And regardless, you’re now one step closer to your goal (with more clarity of what you don’t want, and increased desire for what you do want).
8. Self-Reflection Questions:

• "What am I afraid would happen if I stopped doing an unwanted addiction?"
• "What are the advantages of the substance or activity? How does it support me?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I accepted myself just the way I am?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I only focused on what I appreciated about myself?"

.

Honorable Mention Addictions

1. Acceptance, Caring What People Think, and Needing to Be Understood
Wanting acceptance is fine. But needing it, is not knowing your value. So you’re desperate to find ways to get people to love and understand you (i.e. people pleaser, perfectionist, workaholic, clingy, gym selfies, etc.). This also inspires arguing, needing to be right and anger addictions, because you need to feel heard and validated (instead of understanding that some people can’t or aren’t interested in understanding).
.
2. Avoiding Boredom — Social Media Consumption
Consuming vs Creating. Negative addictions can have an imbalance leaning towards consuming people’s creations, vs expressing your own. When was the last time you laid in bed at night, or waited in line at the store, and didn’t pull out your phone to distract you? Instead of simply appreciating the moment and your surroundings.
“Something distracting me is better than nothing.” But then you don’t have standards of quality; you simply have an insatiable appetite of consuming more. And if you’re not intentionally consuming media; it will consume you. It’s passive consumption; each post is a potato chip. When you don’t have a specific intention before opening an app, then you’ll most likely spend your next hour on empty emotional calories and walk away feeling worse. Excessive consuming leads to fuming and glooming.
Negative addictions can start out innocently. But like a frog in a boiling pot… you don’t notice that you increasingly rely on them for self-medicating negative emotions until you feel it’s consumed you.
.
3. Anger and Drama
When you feel bored, there’s no momentum in that. You feel lifeless; like a plank of wood floating on still water. And you would rather feel fun and excitement (i.e. positive momentum). But, if you don’t know how to generate those feelings, then you’ll settle for the next easiest emotion that has momentum, which is anger. (But anger is negative momentum; when not intentionally controlled.)
Drama feels interesting compared to boredom, until it gradually wears on you (and your relationships). So you try to give that anger addiction up. But if you don’t know how to create positive momentum, then when you get bored, you’ll reach for anger again to get your fix to feel that energy flow.
As you judge yourself, you will feel sad, and then naturally inspired to feel angry, because anger has more momentum and energy than sadness; thus it feels more empowering. But if you don’t intentionally choose anger for relief (in a safe space, by yourself; don’t express it to others), then as you continue judging people and circumstances, you will eventually feel sad again, and feel stuck in a cycle of sad → angry → sad → angry.
.
4. Victim Mentality, Dismissive and Needing to Be Right
If you haven’t healed your inner child and trauma, you can get addicted to always feeling like a victim. You would rather be right, than happy. So you can believe you’re always right, and everyone else is wrong. You can get addicted to being dismissive of people’s perspectives (as a reflection of how you felt you were treated growing up). One advantage of continuing to feel like a victim is, you don’t have to change; everyone else has to change, because they’re the problem (i.e. you believe your negative emotions come from them). Your trauma isn’t your fault. And, healing is possible, when you feel comfortable and open to the opportunity.
.
5. Procrastinating, Isolation and Abandonment
Isolation amplified after the year 2020 (gee, I wonder why…). The main appeal is having no expectations, pressure to perform, or be responsible to others. The issue is, people are simply a mirror that reflects the relationship you have with yourself. So avoiding people doesn’t get rid of your limiting beliefs; you just become less aware of them.
Also, it can be easy to get stuck in the cycle of, "I hate myself, so I don't socialize. Which makes me feel lonely. So I hate myself even more..."
Procrastinating and abandonment can cause other addictions. For ex: You’re doomscrolling until 2 am because you’re avoiding the routine to go to bed, and/ or trying to run away from feeling bored, lonely and worthless.
.
6. Productivity, Maximizing and Efficiency
People thought the creation of computers would help people work less because it would do a lot of the work. Only to fast forward and realize it just raised society’s standards of the work they expected from you, causing you to ironically work more; not less. And with the emergence of A.I., hopefully we don’t repeat the same mistake.
People naturally want what’s best for them. But, if you were raised to constantly need to improve and do more, then any activity you do, can be turned into two to three activities. Maximizing your time doing one activity, while learning another (e.g. second screen viewing — which can be beneficial, but detrimental when you feel you have to do it and/or avoiding boredom). With the abundance and ease of access to learning, addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just go for a walk? Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something useful.”
Productivity addiction can justify doing less hobbies you enjoy, because they’re not making money. This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void. And, if you don’t take a break from working, then your body will do it for you.
.
7. Comparing Yourself to Others and Should
When you compare yourself, you should all over yourself. “I should do this and be different,” or, “I shouldn’t have done that.” Shoulds leave you either feeling shame or resentment. If you force yourself to do what you think you should, then you sacrifice yourself, and so you feel resentment. But if you don’t do it, then you feel guilty, shame and regret. You can’t win.
.
8. Limerence, One-Sided and Parasocial Relationships
You’re addicted to people who don’t care about you. You keep holding on to people whose behavior makes it clear they’re not interested in a mutually satisfying relationship (romantic or friendship). This can be celebrities, K-Pop idols, streamers, influences and/or a situationship you’ve put your life on hold for years waiting and hoping for it to become something more.
.

You Didn’t Waste Your Life — There’s Still Hope

Robert Downey Jr.'s life was a disaster for years (alcohol and drug addiction, arrested, etc.) before he decided to turn it around (and iconically become Iron Man). His pain and experiences were fuel to become the actor and inspirational person that he is today. His quotes:

• “Remember that just because you hit the bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there.”
• “It’s easy to embrace hopelessness when things seem insurmountable. And yet, it’s actually just a matter of time until all of the elements come together for things to be alright. I mean, I believe that most difficult situations will resolve themselves if you are persistent and if you don’t give up entirely. And that’s what I never did; I never gave up.”

Although it may not seem like it right now, everything you have lived can be used to make you stronger, wiser, healthier and happier. Your potential has increased at least tenfold because of your “wasted” experiences. Think of it like you’re a rubber band on a slingshot; and the further back you stretched into the darkness, as you let go of limiting beliefs, you propel yourself forward that much farther into the light.
I can’t wait for you to begin seeing what you’re truly capable of in the months and years to come. When you finally stop beating up on yourself for the very past that will propel you into becoming the more compassionate, understanding, supportive, appreciative, creative, productive and fulfilled person that you want to be.
~ BFree
.
Share your thoughts: What’s one step you’re going to do to let go of negative addictions and start allowing more empowering positive addictions?
.

[Note: We’re focusing on emotional reasons; not physical. And this is just one perspective. Please consult your doctor for healing, withdrawals, etc.]
TL;DR: Addictions are coping mechanisms for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. You're craving intimacy and connection. And, you’re addicted because you judge yourself (and others).
Replace “addiction” with “momentum.” You hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy and motivation).

Addictions are used to regulate your emotions. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck. So you’re learning how to shift from negative addictions (e.g. social media, junk food, vaping, etc.) to positive addictions (e.g. meditate, exercise, dancing, drawing, etc.).
_____
Before we begin, this is important: I’m not here trying to fix you. Because I don’t think you’re broken. I believe in you. You are strong, worthy and powerful enough to transform this. You may not know how to yet, but we’ll work together in understanding what’s at the heart of the issue, to support you in allowing the life you want and deserve.
Secondary Addictions: Phone, social media, food, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, video games, relationships, attention, validation, anger, sex, porn, weed, smoking, gambling, shopping, hoarding, workaholic, perfectionist, procrastinating, etc. All of these are secondary; compensating for an even greater addiction.
Primary Addiction: You’re addicted to judging yourself (and others). Not accepting and appreciating yourself and others is the cause of secondary addictions.
Addictions are coping mechanism for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. Mistreating substances is a reflection of how you treat yourself. And the irony is, part of the source for addiction is… judging yourself for doing it.
Addiction: Consistently using a substance or experience to regulate your emotions (this can be positive or negative).
And to add another layer: Replace “addiction” with “momentum” (or movement or energy flow). There’s momentum towards what you want or don’t want, and we’re discussing shifting momentum from unwanted to wanted; negative addictions to positive. Your natural state is to feel better. But if you don’t know how to do that, then you’ll rely on circumstances and people as fuel for feeling movement. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck.
.

The Cycle of Addictions

• Unwanted/ Negative Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more external/ conditional relief; relying on circumstances and people to feel better → Until you start judging again.
• Wanted/ Positive Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more internal/ unconditional relief; relying on your ability to focus to feel better → Accepting and appreciating reduces your desire for judging and negative addictions.

Negative addictions are used to avoid negative emotions. Whereas positive addictions are used to heal and embrace negative emotions.
Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on (and judging) what you don't want. Negative emotions are just messengers of the limiting beliefs you're practicing. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, you keep yourself stuck.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad). Begin seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends, and work together as a team to help you feel better.
.

The Purpose of Addictions

Because you’re the CEO of you, you hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy, motivation and enhances a good time).

Addictions either make you feel more powerful, or distract you from feeling powerless. Negative addictions give you a false sense of security, which ironically enhances your insecurity. And that keeps you stuck in a cycle of abuse with negative addictions.
Addictions can soften your focus, so you’re distracted and more general with your thoughts (i.e. tune out). And when you focus less on details, then you’re less aware of what you specifically don’t want or have, so you judge less. And with less judgement, you slow down negative momentum, and naturally feel better.
Negative addictions can help you tune out, but they also won’t let you tune in to who you really are. So if you use substances to numb yourself, then you lose your ability to focus. But it’s your power of focusing that will set you free.
Negative addictions are trying to fill a void, with things that aren’t designed to fill it. It’s like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom; so no matter how much you put in, it's still empty. And you use secondary addictions to distract yourself so you don’t feel the emptiness. But the only way to fix the hole is to be reminded of how powerful, worthy and whole you really are. And it’s not a fact that you’re unworthy; it’s just something you’ve been taught by other people, who feel unworthy.
.
Because negative addictions are coping mechanisms, then if you think it’s the cause, then not using it will be the cure. But that doesn’t work as a long-term solution because it doesn’t address the actual issue: judging. So when you stop one unwanted behavior, you’ll probably start something else; i.e. transfer addiction. Or, you can call it transfer relief.
As long as you believe negative addictions help you feel normal, then you're not incentivized to let go because it’s not in your best interest. But when you feel better first, before going to the substance or experience, then you gradually remove its purpose, and thus your desire for it.

• Instead of saying, "I'm addicted," (which is valid). It's more accurate to say, “I’m seeking relief in the best way I know how.”

Negative addictions are just tools, and you used that tool to help you through a difficult time when you didn't know what else to do. You did the best you could, and now you’re ready for a change.

• “Thank you, negative addiction. I appreciate that you supported me. But, I’m taking the company in a new direction, and I will no longer be needing your services.”

Negative addictions have imposter syndrome; and rightfully so — they’re unqualified for the job of giving you sustainable relief. So when you start hiring positive addictions, then you release the control negative addictions once had over the company (i.e. you).
And it doesn’t mean you still don’t enjoy technology, food, etc. You can let them be for fun (based on your personal boundaries), but you are in control. They’re expressions of a fulfilling life; not replacements for it.
.

Positive Addictions — What You’re Really Craving

Addictions indicate you're craving intimacy and connection. With others is nice, but you’re craving connection with yourself. And to stop an unwanted addiction, you want a new healthy habit to take its place. Because without it, there’s a power vacuum. So, what are your new healthier coping mechanisms to connect with yourself? For ex:

• "When I feel sad, I meditate for 2 - 15 minutes."
• "When I feel powerless, I exercise, go for a walk, ride a bike, or connect with nature.”
• "When I feel unloved and rejected, I connect with my body, by putting my hand on my heart, focus on deep breathing and being there for myself."
• "When I feel bored, I practice creative outlets to express myself (e.g. dancing, singing, drawing, gardening, crocheting, cooking, etc.).”

.

Tips to Start Healing

1. Be Aware. Be Mindful. Be Intentional. When using an unwanted addiction, tell yourself,

• “I am consciously using this for relief. I’m not going to judge myself, because I understand why I’m doing it. I feel lonely, bored, sad, stressed, etc. And so, I am intentionally doing this activity to feel better.”

The simple act of bringing awareness to an unwanted habit shines light into the darkness, and you start regaining your power. You’re still doing the unwanted activity, but you’re tuning in, instead of tuning out.
2. Make a Deal with Yourself. When you get tempted to do an unwanted addiction, focus on feeling better first (e.g. meditate or go for a walk for a few minutes). Then, you can still do the unwanted addiction after you feel better. (This isn’t advocating unwanted behavior, but it is being realistic in helping you wean yourself off, and begin the job transfer process from negative to positive addictions.) So it accomplishes three things:

1. You’re not depriving yourself; you’re just slightly delaying gratification, which builds up your strength of not automatically going to the same unwanted habit.
2. You’re replacing the old addiction with a better-feeling one (and notice that you’ll consume less and/ or gradually have less desire to use the substance).
3. You create self-trust and respect by making a practical deal with yourself, and showing that you’re stronger than you think and can follow through; which also gives you hope that you can do this.

3. Reduce Consumption: Adjust Time and/ or Intensity. (E.g. If you’re smoking five days a week; do only four days, or use one less a day than normal).
4. Focus on what you want to start doing, instead of what you want to stop doing. What do you want to feel?

• “I want to start feeling relief. I want to feel supported. I want to start feeling more loved and accepted for who I am. I want to feel more comfortable and ease. I want to feel more at peace myself. I want to start feeling how strong and capable my body is. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to feel clarity. I want to start looking for more activities that are fun and bring out my creativity.”

5. Your Phone Has Grayscale, which makes it black and white, thus reducing the stimulus and dopamine you receive from it. You can also turn on app limit timers and turn off notifications.
6. Find an Accountability Buddy (if you can). They don’t have to stop their unwanted addictions, but they're willing to celebrate when you succeed and support you if you fall short. Also consider talking to your smoking or drinking buddies about your new commitment to your health.
7. If You Relapse, It’s Okay. Don’t judge yourself (i.e. "Why am I so weak, stupid, etc.?”). Self-judgment is self-sabotage, because it ironically fuels the very behavior you want to stop. You didn’t lose progress, because recovery isn’t a perfect straight line. It’s a process. And regardless, you’re now one step closer to your goal (with more clarity of what you don’t want, and increased desire for what you do want).
8. Self-Reflection Questions:

• "What am I afraid would happen if I stopped doing an unwanted addiction?"
• "What are the advantages of the substance or activity? How does it support me?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I accepted myself just the way I am?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I only focused on what I appreciated about myself?"

.

Honorable Mention Addictions

1. Acceptance, Caring What People Think, and Needing to Be Understood
Wanting acceptance is fine. But needing it, is not knowing your value. So you’re desperate to find ways to get people to love and understand you (i.e. people pleaser, perfectionist, workaholic, clingy, gym selfies, etc.). This also inspires arguing, needing to be right and anger addictions, because you need to feel heard and validated (instead of understanding that some people can’t or aren’t interested in understanding).
.
2. Avoiding Boredom — Social Media Consumption
Consuming vs Creating. Negative addictions can have an imbalance leaning towards consuming people’s creations, vs expressing your own. When was the last time you laid in bed at night, or waited in line at the store, and didn’t pull out your phone to distract you? Instead of simply appreciating the moment and your surroundings.
“Something distracting me is better than nothing.” But then you don’t have standards of quality; you simply have an insatiable appetite of consuming more. And if you’re not intentionally consuming media; it will consume you. It’s passive consumption; each post is a potato chip. When you don’t have a specific intention before opening an app, then you’ll most likely spend your next hour on empty emotional calories and walk away feeling worse. Excessive consuming leads to fuming and glooming.
Negative addictions can start out innocently. But like a frog in a boiling pot… you don’t notice that you increasingly rely on them for self-medicating negative emotions until you feel it’s consumed you.
.
3. Anger and Drama
When you feel bored, there’s no momentum in that. You feel lifeless; like a plank of wood floating on still water. And you would rather feel fun and excitement (i.e. positive momentum). But, if you don’t know how to generate those feelings, then you’ll settle for the next easiest emotion that has momentum, which is anger. (But anger is negative momentum; when not intentionally controlled.)
Drama feels interesting compared to boredom, until it gradually wears on you (and your relationships). So you try to give that anger addiction up. But if you don’t know how to create positive momentum, then when you get bored, you’ll reach for anger again to get your fix to feel that energy flow.
As you judge yourself, you will feel sad, and then naturally inspired to feel angry, because anger has more momentum and energy than sadness; thus it feels more empowering. But if you don’t intentionally choose anger for relief (in a safe space, by yourself; don’t express it to others), then as you continue judging people and circumstances, you will eventually feel sad again, and feel stuck in a cycle of sad → angry → sad → angry.
.
4. Victim Mentality, Dismissive and Needing to Be Right
If you haven’t healed your inner child and trauma, you can get addicted to always feeling like a victim. You would rather be right, than happy. So you can believe you’re always right, and everyone else is wrong. You can get addicted to being dismissive of people’s perspectives (as a reflection of how you felt you were treated growing up). One advantage of continuing to feel like a victim is, you don’t have to change; everyone else has to change, because they’re the problem (i.e. you believe your negative emotions come from them). Your trauma isn’t your fault. And, healing is possible, when you feel comfortable and open to the opportunity.
.
5. Procrastinating, Isolation and Abandonment
Isolation amplified after the year 2020 (gee, I wonder why…). The main appeal is having no expectations, pressure to perform, or be responsible to others. The issue is, people are simply a mirror that reflects the relationship you have with yourself. So avoiding people doesn’t get rid of your limiting beliefs; you just become less aware of them.
Also, it can be easy to get stuck in the cycle of, "I hate myself, so I don't socialize. Which makes me feel lonely. So I hate myself even more..."
Procrastinating and abandonment can cause other addictions. For ex: You’re doomscrolling until 2 am because you’re avoiding the routine to go to bed, and/ or trying to run away from feeling bored, lonely and worthless.
.
6. Productivity, Maximizing and Efficiency
People thought the creation of computers would help people work less because it would do a lot of the work. Only to fast forward and realize it just raised society’s standards of the work they expected from you, causing you to ironically work more; not less. And with the emergence of A.I., hopefully we don’t repeat the same mistake.
People naturally want what’s best for them. But, if you were raised to constantly need to improve and do more, then any activity you do, can be turned into two to three activities. Maximizing your time doing one activity, while learning another (e.g. second screen viewing — which can be beneficial, but detrimental when you feel you have to do it and/or avoiding boredom). With the abundance and ease of access to learning, addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just go for a walk? Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something useful.”
Productivity addiction can justify doing less hobbies you enjoy, because they’re not making money. This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void. And, if you don’t take a break from working, then your body will do it for you.
.
7. Comparing Yourself to Others and Should
When you compare yourself, you should all over yourself. “I should do this and be different,” or, “I shouldn’t have done that.” Shoulds leave you either feeling shame or resentment. If you force yourself to do what you think you should, then you sacrifice yourself, and so you feel resentment. But if you don’t do it, then you feel guilty, shame and regret. You can’t win.
.
8. Limerence, One-Sided and Parasocial Relationships
You’re addicted to people who don’t care about you. You keep holding on to people whose behavior makes it clear they’re not interested in a mutually satisfying relationship (romantic or friendship). This can be celebrities, K-Pop idols, streamers, influences and/or a situationship you’ve put your life on hold for years waiting and hoping for it to become something more.
.

You Didn’t Waste Your Life — There’s Still Hope

Robert Downey Jr.'s life was a disaster for years (alcohol and drug addiction, arrested, etc.) before he decided to turn it around (and iconically become Iron Man). His pain and experiences were fuel to become the actor and inspirational person that he is today. His quotes:

• “Remember that just because you hit the bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there.”
• “It’s easy to embrace hopelessness when things seem insurmountable. And yet, it’s actually just a matter of time until all of the elements come together for things to be alright. I mean, I believe that most difficult situations will resolve themselves if you are persistent and if you don’t give up entirely. And that’s what I never did; I never gave up.”

Although it may not seem like it right now, everything you have lived can be used to make you stronger, wiser, healthier and happier. Your potential has increased at least tenfold because of your “wasted” experiences. Think of it like you’re a rubber band on a slingshot; and the further back you stretched into the darkness, as you let go of limiting beliefs, you propel yourself forward that much farther into the light.
I can’t wait for you to begin seeing what you’re truly capable of in the months and years to come. When you finally stop beating up on yourself for the very past that will propel you into becoming the more compassionate, understanding, supportive, appreciative, creative, productive and fulfilled person that you want to be.
~ BFree
.
Share your thoughts: What’s one step you’re going to do to let go of negative addictions and start allowing more empowering positive addictions?
.

[Note: We’re focusing on emotional reasons; not physical. And this is just one perspective. Please consult your doctor for healing, withdrawals, etc.]
TL;DR: Addictions are coping mechanisms for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. You're craving intimacy and connection. And, you’re addicted because you judge yourself (and others).
Replace “addiction” with “momentum.” You hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy and motivation).

Addictions are used to regulate your emotions. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck. So you’re learning how to shift from negative addictions (e.g. social media, junk food, vaping, etc.) to positive addictions (e.g. meditate, exercise, dancing, drawing, etc.).
_____
Before we begin, this is important: I’m not here trying to fix you. Because I don’t think you’re broken. I believe in you. You are strong, worthy and powerful enough to transform this. You may not know how to yet, but we’ll work together in understanding what’s at the heart of the issue, to support you in allowing the life you want and deserve.
Secondary Addictions: Phone, social media, food, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, video games, relationships, attention, validation, anger, sex, porn, weed, smoking, gambling, shopping, hoarding, workaholic, perfectionist, procrastinating, etc. All of these are secondary; compensating for an even greater addiction.
Primary Addiction: You’re addicted to judging yourself (and others). Not accepting and appreciating yourself and others is the cause of secondary addictions.
Addictions are coping mechanism for an unfulfilled, disconnected life. Mistreating substances is a reflection of how you treat yourself. And the irony is, part of the source for addiction is… judging yourself for doing it.
Addiction: Consistently using a substance or experience to regulate your emotions (this can be positive or negative).
And to add another layer: Replace “addiction” with “momentum” (or movement or energy flow). There’s momentum towards what you want or don’t want, and we’re discussing shifting momentum from unwanted to wanted; negative addictions to positive. Your natural state is to feel better. But if you don’t know how to do that, then you’ll rely on circumstances and people as fuel for feeling movement. But, when you artificially modify momentum, that keeps you stuck.
.

The Cycle of Addictions

• Unwanted/ Negative Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more external/ conditional relief; relying on circumstances and people to feel better → Until you start judging again.
• Wanted/ Positive Addiction: Judging anything makes you crave relief → So you consume more internal/ unconditional relief; relying on your ability to focus to feel better → Accepting and appreciating reduces your desire for judging and negative addictions.

Negative addictions are used to avoid negative emotions. Whereas positive addictions are used to heal and embrace negative emotions.
Negative emotions are positive guidance (although it might not feel that way) letting you know you are focusing on (and judging) what you don't want. Negative emotions are just messengers of the limiting beliefs you're practicing. They're a necessary part of your emotional guidance, like GPS in your car. But the more you avoid or fight them, you keep yourself stuck.
All emotions are equal and worthy. But most people unknowingly create a hierarchy for their emotions (i.e. positive = good; negative = bad). Begin seeing negative emotions as worthy, valuable and supportive friends, and work together as a team to help you feel better.
.

The Purpose of Addictions

Because you’re the CEO of you, you hire an addiction to do one of two jobs:

• Slow Down Negative Momentum (i.e. depressant; takes away pain, calming and relief from stress).
• Speed Up Positive Momentum (i.e. stimulant; gives pleasure, fun, energy, motivation and enhances a good time).

Addictions either make you feel more powerful, or distract you from feeling powerless. Negative addictions give you a false sense of security, which ironically enhances your insecurity. And that keeps you stuck in a cycle of abuse with negative addictions.
Addictions can soften your focus, so you’re distracted and more general with your thoughts (i.e. tune out). And when you focus less on details, then you’re less aware of what you specifically don’t want or have, so you judge less. And with less judgement, you slow down negative momentum, and naturally feel better.
Negative addictions can help you tune out, but they also won’t let you tune in to who you really are. So if you use substances to numb yourself, then you lose your ability to focus. But it’s your power of focusing that will set you free.
Negative addictions are trying to fill a void, with things that aren’t designed to fill it. It’s like trying to fill a cup with a hole in the bottom; so no matter how much you put in, it's still empty. And you use secondary addictions to distract yourself so you don’t feel the emptiness. But the only way to fix the hole is to be reminded of how powerful, worthy and whole you really are. And it’s not a fact that you’re unworthy; it’s just something you’ve been taught by other people, who feel unworthy.
.
Because negative addictions are coping mechanisms, then if you think it’s the cause, then not using it will be the cure. But that doesn’t work as a long-term solution because it doesn’t address the actual issue: judging. So when you stop one unwanted behavior, you’ll probably start something else; i.e. transfer addiction. Or, you can call it transfer relief.
As long as you believe negative addictions help you feel normal, then you're not incentivized to let go because it’s not in your best interest. But when you feel better first, before going to the substance or experience, then you gradually remove its purpose, and thus your desire for it.

• Instead of saying, "I'm addicted," (which is valid). It's more accurate to say, “I’m seeking relief in the best way I know how.”

Negative addictions are just tools, and you used that tool to help you through a difficult time when you didn't know what else to do. You did the best you could, and now you’re ready for a change.

• “Thank you, negative addiction. I appreciate that you supported me. But, I’m taking the company in a new direction, and I will no longer be needing your services.”

Negative addictions have imposter syndrome; and rightfully so — they’re unqualified for the job of giving you sustainable relief. So when you start hiring positive addictions, then you release the control negative addictions once had over the company (i.e. you).
And it doesn’t mean you still don’t enjoy technology, food, etc. You can let them be for fun (based on your personal boundaries), but you are in control. They’re expressions of a fulfilling life; not replacements for it.
.

Positive Addictions — What You’re Really Craving

Addictions indicate you're craving intimacy and connection. With others is nice, but you’re craving connection with yourself. And to stop an unwanted addiction, you want a new healthy habit to take its place. Because without it, there’s a power vacuum. So, what are your new healthier coping mechanisms to connect with yourself? For ex:

• "When I feel sad, I meditate for 2 - 15 minutes."
• "When I feel powerless, I exercise, go for a walk, ride a bike, or connect with nature.”
• "When I feel unloved and rejected, I connect with my body, by putting my hand on my heart, focus on deep breathing and being there for myself."
• "When I feel bored, I practice creative outlets to express myself (e.g. dancing, singing, drawing, gardening, crocheting, cooking, etc.).”

.

Tips to Start Healing

1. Be Aware. Be Mindful. Be Intentional. When using an unwanted addiction, tell yourself,

• “I am consciously using this for relief. I’m not going to judge myself, because I understand why I’m doing it. I feel lonely, bored, sad, stressed, etc. And so, I am intentionally doing this to feel better.”

The simple act of bringing awareness to an unwanted habit shines light into the darkness, and you start regaining your power. You’re still doing the unwanted activity, but you’re tuning in, instead of tuning out.
2. Make a Deal with Yourself. When you get tempted to do an unwanted addiction, focus on feeling better first (e.g. meditate or go for a walk for a few minutes). Then, you can still do the unwanted addiction after you feel better. (This isn’t advocating unwanted behavior, but it is being realistic in helping you wean yourself off, and begin the job transfer process from negative to positive addictions.) So it accomplishes three things:

1. You’re not depriving yourself; you’re just slightly delaying gratification, which builds up your strength of not automatically going to the same unwanted habit.
2. You’re replacing the old addiction with a better-feeling one (and notice that you’ll consume less and/ or gradually have less desire to use the substance).
3. You create self-trust and respect by making a practical deal with yourself, and showing that you’re stronger than you think and can follow through; which also gives you hope that you can do this.

3. Reduce Consumption: Adjust Time and/ or Intensity. (E.g. If you’re smoking five days a week; do only four days, or use one less a day than normal).
4. Focus on what you want to start doing, instead of what you want to stop doing. What do you want to feel?

• “I want to start feeling relief. I want to feel supported. I want to start feeling more loved and accepted for who I am. I want to feel more comfortable and ease. I want to feel more at peace myself. I want to start feeling how strong and capable my body is. I want to feel proud of myself. I want to feel clarity. I want to start looking for more activities that are fun and bring out my creativity.”

5. Your Phone Has Grayscale, which makes it black and white, thus reducing the stimulus and dopamine you receive from it. You can also turn on app limit timers and turn off notifications.
6. Find an Accountability Buddy (if you can). They don’t have to stop their unwanted addictions, but they're willing to celebrate when you succeed and support you if you fall short. Also consider talking to your smoking or drinking buddies about your new commitment to your health.
7. If You Relapse, It’s Okay. Don’t judge yourself (i.e. "Why am I so weak, stupid, etc.?”). Self-judgment is self-sabotage, because it ironically fuels the very behavior you want to stop. You didn’t lose progress, because recovery isn’t a perfect straight line. It’s a process. And regardless, you’re now one step closer to your goal (with more clarity of what you don’t want, and increased desire for what you do want).
8. Self-Reflection Questions:

• "What am I afraid would happen if I stopped doing an unwanted addiction?"
• "What are the advantages of the substance or activity? How does it support me?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I accepted myself just the way I am?"
• "What am I afraid would happen if I only focused on what I appreciated about myself?"

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Honorable Mention Addictions

1. Acceptance, Caring What People Think, and Needing to Be Understood
Wanting acceptance is fine. But needing it, is not knowing your value. So you’re desperate to find ways to get people to love and understand you (i.e. people pleaser, perfectionist, workaholic, clingy, gym selfies, etc.). This also inspires arguing, needing to be right and anger addictions, because you need to feel heard and validated (instead of understanding that some people can’t or aren’t interested in understanding).
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2. Avoiding Boredom — Social Media Consumption
Consuming vs Creating. Negative addictions can have an imbalance leaning towards consuming people’s creations, vs expressing your own. When was the last time you laid in bed at night, or waited in line at the store, and didn’t pull out your phone to distract you? Instead of simply appreciating the moment and your surroundings.
“Something distracting me is better than nothing.” But then you don’t have standards of quality; you simply have an insatiable appetite of consuming more. And if you’re not intentionally consuming media; it will consume you. It’s passive consumption; each post is a potato chip. When you don’t have a specific intention before opening an app, then you’ll most likely spend your next hour on empty emotional calories and walk away feeling worse. Excessive consuming leads to fuming and glooming.
Negative addictions can start out innocently. But like a frog in a boiling pot… you don’t notice that you increasingly rely on them for self-medicating negative emotions until you feel it’s consumed you.
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3. Anger and Drama
When you feel bored, there’s no momentum in that. You feel lifeless; like a plank of wood floating on still water. And you would rather feel fun and excitement (i.e. positive momentum). But, if you don’t know how to generate those feelings, then you’ll settle for the next easiest emotion that has momentum, which is anger. (But anger is negative momentum; when not intentionally controlled.)
Drama feels interesting compared to boredom, until it gradually wears on you (and your relationships). So you try to give that anger addiction up. But if you don’t know how to create positive momentum, then when you get bored, you’ll reach for anger again to get your fix to feel that energy flow.
As you judge yourself, you will feel sad, and then naturally inspired to feel angry, because anger has more momentum and energy than sadness; thus it feels more empowering. But if you don’t intentionally choose anger for relief (in a safe space, by yourself; don’t express it to others), then as you continue judging people and circumstances, you will eventually feel sad again, and feel stuck in a cycle of sad → angry → sad → angry.
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4. Victim Mentality, Dismissive and Needing to Be Right
If you haven’t healed your inner child and trauma, you can get addicted to always feeling like a victim. You would rather be right, than happy. So you can believe you’re always right, and everyone else is wrong. You can get addicted to being dismissive of people’s perspectives (as a reflection of how you felt you were treated growing up). One advantage of continuing to feel like a victim is, you don’t have to change; everyone else has to change, because they’re the problem (i.e. you believe your negative emotions come from them). Your trauma isn’t your fault. And, healing is possible, when you feel comfortable and open to the opportunity.
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5. Procrastinating, Isolation and Abandonment
Isolation amplified after the year 2020 (gee, I wonder why…). The main appeal is having no expectations, pressure to perform, or be responsible to others. The issue is, people are simply a mirror that reflects the relationship you have with yourself. So avoiding people doesn’t get rid of your limiting beliefs; you just become less aware of them.
Also, it can be easy to get stuck in the cycle of, "I hate myself, so I don't socialize. Which makes me feel lonely. So I hate myself even more..."
Procrastinating and abandonment can cause other addictions. For ex: You’re doomscrolling until 2 am because you’re avoiding the routine to go to bed, and/ or trying to run away from feeling bored, lonely and worthless.
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6. Productivity, Maximizing and Efficiency
People thought the creation of computers would help people work less because it would do a lot of the work. Only to fast forward and realize it just raised society’s standards of the work they expected from you, causing you to ironically work more; not less. And with the emergence of A.I., hopefully we don’t repeat the same mistake.
People naturally want what’s best for them. But, if you were raised to constantly need to improve and do more, then any activity you do, can be turned into two to three activities. Maximizing your time doing one activity, while learning another (e.g. second screen viewing — which can be beneficial, but detrimental when you feel you have to do it and/or avoiding boredom). With the abundance and ease of access to learning, addiction to productivity causes you to demonize downtime: “Why just go for a walk? Why just lay in bed? I should be making money or learning something useful.”
Productivity addiction can justify doing less hobbies you enjoy, because they’re not making money. This can ironically make you less productive. You’re burned out, but you feel lazy because you don’t want to work all of the time; but can’t justify fun… so you do nothing as a compromise. This reduces the quality of your life, which then fuels other negative addictions to fill the void. And, if you don’t take a break from working, then your body will do it for you.
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7. Comparing Yourself to Others and Should
When you compare yourself, you should all over yourself. “I should do this and be different,” or, “I shouldn’t have done that.” Shoulds leave you either feeling shame or resentment. If you force yourself to do what you think you should, then you sacrifice yourself, and so you feel resentment. But if you don’t do it, then you feel guilty, shame and regret. You can’t win.
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8. Limerence, One-Sided and Parasocial Relationships
You’re addicted to people who don’t care about you. You keep holding on to people whose behavior makes it clear they’re not interested in a mutually satisfying relationship (romantic or friendship). This can be celebrities, K-Pop idols, streamers, influences and/or a situationship you’ve put your life on hold for years waiting and hoping for it to become something more.
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You Didn’t Waste Your Life — There’s Still Hope

Robert Downey Jr.'s life was a disaster for years (alcohol and drug addiction, arrested, etc.) before he decided to turn it around (and iconically become Iron Man). His pain and experiences were fuel to become the actor and inspirational person that he is today. His quotes:

• “Remember that just because you hit the bottom doesn't mean you have to stay there.”
• “It’s easy to embrace hopelessness when things seem insurmountable. And yet, it’s actually just a matter of time until all of the elements come together for things to be alright. I mean, I believe that most difficult situations will resolve themselves if you are persistent and if you don’t give up entirely. And that’s what I never did; I never gave up.”

Although it may not seem like it right now, everything you have lived can be used to make you stronger, wiser, healthier and happier. Your potential has increased at least tenfold because of your “wasted” experiences. Think of it like you’re a rubber band on a slingshot; and the further back you stretched into the darkness, as you let go of limiting beliefs, you propel yourself forward that much farther into the light.
I can’t wait for you to begin seeing what you’re truly capable of in the months and years to come. When you finally stop beating up on yourself for the very past that will propel you into becoming the more compassionate, understanding, supportive, appreciative, creative, productive and fulfilled person that you want to be.
~ BFree
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Share your thoughts: What’s one step you’re going to do to let go of negative addictions and start allowing more empowering positive addictions?
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Just a slow morning in the office and wouldn’t mind some people to chat with. Just kinda sitting here wishing I was at home playing Persona 3 and hanging out with my cat.
My discord has been kinda slow lately and needs to be cleaned out and filled with some new peeps to talk to.
I don’t have many requirements except that you’re talkative. I don’t like dry conversations any more than Anakin Skywalker likes sand.
Me: Plays golf horribly, enjoys spicy food, long walks on the beach, video games and has a slight problem buying books when I already have stuff to read.
Massively dislikes spiders and aggressive hornets but otherwise likes animals, especially frogs and my cat who is a Royal pain in my ass.
I like fantasy of varying sorts, spooky stuff and cold weather, sweet tea, thinking about what I’d do if I won the lottery, and wishing I didn’t have a fear of flying. Hates radishes but likes water chestnuts even though they’re basically the same thing.
I like lame jokes and geeking out about nonsense. Let’s talk about our hopes and dreams for the future.
just looking for people who match my vibe. If you think that’s you then shoot me a message with a little about yourself!

I was watching my friend play this game, and noticed a few places where she got stuck and it seemed like the game is hostile to people who don't play a lot of video games. I know its about exploration and trying different solutions, but these things are so easy to miss, and block your progress. I feel like if the player weren't given hints from somebody else, they would never figure it out.
Sorry if these are spoilers. Maybe skip this post if you haven't beat the game.
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What the flames are for
Finding the flames is easy, they are marked on your map. She found all of them and then had no idea what to do with them. Yes I know the statues are RIGHT THERE and there are several on-screen prompts begging you to put the flames in the statues. If you played other games you immediately recognize this pattern, and easily connect the statue to the area where each flame is found.
But consider what a non-experienced player would see. The first time you see these statues, they are not interactive. There is no prompt, unlike the circular recesses which are obvious receptacles. The game teaches the player that the statues are decorations to be ignored, not game elements. This is reinforced by the placement of the statues in the hub area, so you pass by them repeatedly. This sends the message that they are not important.
In this game, every room has some secret or purpose, some very obscure. This one might be the most obscure. As is, it feels more like just a room you just walk through for atmosphere.
I think this could be improved by moving the statues to a separate room slightly off the main path. This sends the message that there's something here (why else would that room be there) and you have to come back later to solve it. Also you should have a prompt like "insert flame" from the very beginning, before you have any flames. This tells the player "hey go find those flames!"
What the flute is for
In the main part of the game (excluding after credits stuff) the flute does a few things,

1. Activate the warp heads
2. Interact with some animals
3. Play songs: return to the fast travel room & free the bobcats

My concern is that the game doesn't adequately encourage or explain that the flute can be used to play songs, and how to do it. Compared to the other tools, the flute is much harder to use and its effects are much more obscure. It's very easy for a non-experienced game to completely miss that playing certain songs can solve puzzles, and that blocks progression towards getting the wheel.
The problem is that you almost never need use songs for anything. It's only the bobcat puzzle. Compared to other tools which are used in dozens of places to solve many puzzles, it's almost as if the flute was an afterthought to insert an optional puzzle for post-credits gameplay. But in the normal gameplay the player sees the bobcats, and sees a few places to use the wheel without knowing about it. This is not post-credits content. But it's locked behind solving the bobcat puzzle.
I think this could be improved very easily by adding a simple puzzle that locks something OBVIOUS by playing a SIMPLE song. There needs to be a puzzle that teaches this mechanic. It's okay to hold the hand of the player sometimes.
Consider what happens when you get the bubble wand. You are in a pit with no way to jump out. You have to use the bubble to get out. This is a teaching puzzle and it works.
Whereas flute is like "here you have this flute have fun it does nothing" and the player is left to find these obscure puzzles that teach you songs:

1. The frog - Easy puzzle and easy to find, but its not clear this has anything to do with the flute, and totally optional so it's easy to skip. Also the song is kind of long for your "first song" to learn.
2. The bobcats - The notes for the song are hard to find (some of them are completely dark) and when you play them in the same room as the notes, they do nothing. So it's unclear what this has to do with the flute.

I would create a dead-simple puzzle near where you find the flute with 3 notes given by arrows. Importantly it must give immediate feedback that you are doing the right thing by playing the notes. The reward should be in the same room. You play the three notes and get a nice prize. Now you know how to use the flute, and you know when you see arrow-notes again that they will do something when you play them, even if you aren't sure what.
Thanks for reading my rant.

I'm looking for a game I don't remember it that well so sorry if I got things wrong or missed stuff I watched some videos of it when I was a bit younger but now I can't find them I watched a YouTube called siri pixel biologist play it and I couldn't find them on her channel again it was in like 2020 maybe before or after that I'm not good with time but the vids were a bit old and there were videos of the entire game so it was a complete series. The game was about a teen girl her little brother and dad they were living in like Alaska or somewhere where it snows alot and there mom died or something so the dad was "raising" them but the sister mainly took care of the brother and dad sometimes and so there's some sort of creature that attacks the cabin where the live and its like a crow or raven god/godess and it kidnapps the boy so the sister has to save him and the dad nearly dies when the monster attacked there cabin but he survived and go's looking for his kids and so anyways the crow/raven thing takes the boy to another dimension and there's more animal gods/goddesses there's a wolf,crow/raven,and 2 more I can't remember and the girl has to like defeat 1 or 2 or all of the other 3 to save her brother and whe has to do little tasks and 1 involved some plant people or frogs or both and so she defeats whichever gods/goddesses and goes to save her brother and while that's happening her dad is solving tasks too and is trying to find his kids and he might have been an alcoholic or just a bad dad but anyways the daughter also has to like go through a bunch of her memories and like fix stuff and she finally gets out of that and finds her brother and the crow/raven goddess has a kid that's half human half crow cus she turned into a human for a short while and had a kid with some guy and she was using the little boy to turn the crow fully human but the little boy would become a crow and when she had the kid the other animal gods hated her for some reason and so the girl stops a defeats the crow and saves her brother and they get reunited with there dad and they go home and the game ends and there were like wierd names and words they were like ancient names and words that were hard to pronounce and I don't know what the game was played on whether it was PC,Playstation,or Xbox,or mobile,or something else sorry and the syle or how the game looked might have been like spirt of the north or endling or deaths door or it might have been more like the wild at heart I don't remember it that well but I've been looking for a while and can't find it so this is my last resort option please help me find it.

The Context:

Andrew Rea is a cook, YouTuber, and author better known as Babish, famous for his cooking series Binging with Babish.
Recently, it was announced that Babish will be introducing a paywall for some new content. In addition, old websites with previously-free content were shuttered.
Babish has also come under fire for his sponsorships, with particular criticism over his promotion of the video game Hogwarts Legacy, considering the recent controversial statements from the series’ author JK Rowling.
Our drama starts as Babish himself takes to the sub to issue an apology for the rollout of the changes, attempting to justify and lay out the reasoning behind them.
While many are receptive to his explanation and find it sincere, others are not so ready to accept…

The Drama:

One user defends the criticism:

TL;DR: you're getting a lot of criticsm for your shitty business decisions, so you're playing the mental health card to turn down the heat.
Look, I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch, and I'm sorry you've gone through the things you have. But forgive me if I find it hard to shed a tear for you.
You can't expect a huge outpouring of sympathy for your mental health, and then turn around and push Betterhelp and a crypto gambling game. Those are both products that prey on your audience's mental well-being. So we're supposed to care about your mental health but you don't give a fuck about ours? Explain that one to me. As for the paywall, I don't care that much, but it's shitty that you didn't tell people it was going up beforehand.

I’m not emotionally equipped to be a public figure.

Should have thought of that before making your face the logo of your company.

Do you enjoy being an awful person?
His struggles are fairly well documented, personally, well before any of this happened
Just take 12 seconds and consider maybe this was an oversight?
It’s not like he’s fucking Brad Pitt with a team of 87 managers and PR folks. I’m sure he’s got a manager, but do you really think he’s got the same pull as an a-list actor to catch every small failure?
He’s a fucking YouTuber - a great one, in my opinion, but a YouTuber nonetheless. Humans make mistakes when they don’t have 36 people checking every ounce of their work.
Give him a little grace and maybe give everyone in your life a little. It’s not all a conspiracy, sometimes people just fuck up.

Do you enjoy not reading my comment? Yes, his mental health struggles are well documented. That's why I acknowledged them.
I'm not talking about the paywall. I'm talking about how he wants everyone to care about his mental health, but has said absolutely nothing in regards to the shitty predatory sponsors. And I'm not talking about his shitty "sorry you feel that way" post on YouTube and taking the video down. He can't just say "sorry, mental health" while ignoring the harm he's helped cause by not being selective about who he takes money from.

Oh fuck off you miserable nerd, if you don’t like how he makes money, you don’t have to participate or consume the content.
If you’re going to keep being salty about this despite an apology and a way to access the old websites then I suggest you look inward.

Read my comment again, I'm not angry about the paywall.

Sure.

Read my fucking comment again, asswipe.

[Continued:]

Did you change it?
If not, I'll pass on reading your angry rantings again. Theu weren't worth the first read through.

No, I didn't. Because I already said it's not about the paywall, dipshit.

Theu weren't worth the first read through.

Still worth it enough for you to respond and be an asshole though, I guess.
Edit: get blocked, douche.

Paywall paywall paywall.
You are obsessed.

I feel so sorry for you content creator dick riders lol

[…]

You’re acting like he owes you something. He doesn’t. We live in a different world now where companies are just faceless businesses anymore, and a lot of the things we consume are the product of single people or small teams. As a result, individual proclivities and issues are part of the new normal. If you have an issue with it; unsubscribe.

Yeah, he owes ot to us not hawk predatory sponsors and then expect everyone to give him a hug when he has mental health issues. But fuck me, I guess. Maybe I should make a post about how I've been struggling with depression my entire life so this sub can forgive me for daring to not give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek for it.

live in a different world now where companies are just faceless businesses anymore

It's a real shame he built his company off of his character and used his own face as its logo.

If you have an issue with it; unsubscribe.

Believe me, I will. I guess I thought when he finally apologized for his shitty business practices that he'd actually apologize, instead of ignoring the sponsorship stuff all together. I thought he was better than this.

Others stand to defend Babish:

Great job folks. You bullied this nice dude who has given you hundreds of hours of free labor.

If were being real he saw the post on mildly infuriating and made a whole ass response, which is insecure as fuck .
Also this is a post where hes admitting hes at fault and yall are telling him “no” which is funny as shit.

It’s “insecure as fuck” to address widespread criticism openly and honestly?

one guy saying bad things about you shouldn’t make you wanna write out a giant reddit post defending yourself yeah.
Who needs to be liked THAT much?

Not one guy, it was widespread backlash on multiple subreddits and from like all his fans. It would have been ridiculous not to respond

Criticism over shitty business practices (shilling products designed to prey on the mental wellbeing of your audience and introducing paywalls with no notice) isn't the same as bullying.

I mean grow up. You have no right to his labor. None at all. Notice? What is this, you're upset about his terms of service? Lol.

Babish isn't gonna fuck you, bro.

"I have no point but I have a funny"

[Continued:]

What point could I make that wasn't already addressed in my response to this parasocial weiner?
Babish made some shitty business decisions, people criticized them. That's not bullying. When people complain about McDonald's discontinuing a menue item, you never see people say "stop bullying the CEO :(". So why is it suddenly bullying when criticism is directed at a YouTuber for their shitty business practices? Yes, Andrew is a person. But that doesn't mean he's immune to complaints just because some parasocial crybaby thinks telling a person to do better constitutes "bullying".

Except if you read the comments on some of the posts people absolutely went well beyond criticism of the business decision to personal insults and vitriol that could indeed accurately be described as “bullying”.

Fair enough, but they made a general comment about how this sub bullied him, not just a few shitheels who took it too far.
cool but that wasn't what the person you told to "grow up" was doing, so why don't you stop huffing your own farts for a minute

I didn’t tell anyone anything? What are you talking about?

whoops, thought you were the OP in this thread, not just a random interjection like me. I'm cutting down on caffeine and it is not making me smarter

[…]

he isn't doing it for "free" mate, he's running a for-profit business. yes bullying is wrong, but people complain about businesses all the time.
Free labour, minus his YouTube revenue, sponsorship revenue, merch revenue...
There's wanting to encourage civility, but let's not jerk each other off here.
Or let's. I mean. It's a Saturday night and I'm alone. I'm open to talk.
Grow some balls lol

The knives are out:

Dude you've been up your own ass for years. When you first started blowing up and dragging your videos out - I nicely suggested you stop adding 5 minutes to the beginning of every video showing us how to make bread. I told you having a separate "Bread with Babish" and telling viewers to reference that would be better. You basically said I was stupider than frog excrement and shouldn't think. Like what? Then a few months later Basics with Babish comes out. Go fuck yourself.

Bro has main character syndrome, thinking Babish personally spites him and only him.
In the nicest possible way, touch grass. Maybe even read your comment out loud and you might realise how ridiculous you sound.
You’ve been carrying this grudge for what, eight years? Touch some grass.

"touch grass" is so overused and trite it makes me want to tear off my dick

Another brings up Babish’s Hogwarts Legacy sponsorship:

Can we get an update on promoting the transphobic wizard game, and apparently deleting comments mentioning trans people on the video?

Imagine what a sad life you live if you’re that triggered by a video game. Literally don’t play it. Why do you care if others play it?

Because buying the game is basically saying "This mid wizards game is more important to me than human rights, fuck gay people, fuck trans people, kill em all, i dont give a shit lmao".

Seek help.

You should seek help if you dontate your money to making the lives of others worse intentionally and give 0 fucks about it.

[Continued:]

You are what is wrong with society. Again, it is advisable that you the seek the psychiatric help that you require. (By the way, it’s a great game).

Glad to know im whats wrong with society and not the scumbags who gave money to anti trans charities. Just know while you're playing it that trans people are living worse lives because of you.

The lil smart phone that ur using right now that relies on cobalt, which was mined by little kids like those in the DRC without protective gear so your phone could have a battery. Just know while you’re sitting here being a keyboard warrior that thousands, if not millions, of little kids’ lives are getting worse because of you.

a.) Im not on a phone and do not own a phone.
b.) Theres a difference because you NEED a computer of some sort to function well these days. You do not need the wizard game.
c.) Theres a difference between supporting a company like that where they try to hide it and keep it from the public and openly supporting someone who basically just comes out and says "Yo btw if you buy my game ill use the money to kill trans people, thanks"

[…]

Imagine being privileged enough for someone enjoying/promoting a Harry Potter game to be what gets ur panties in a twist. I get Rowling is a shit show, but be fucking for real 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m sure your phone is a product of child slave labor and I’m sure you buy a lot of shit that promotes even more terrible things. Get off your high horse and stop crying over first world problems.

Im sorry its considered being on a high horse for wishing people didnt support a disgusting fucking transphobic monster thats hurting fuckloads of people. Its not even like other companies where its semi hidden and you have to look for it, she's blatantly and publicly a transphobic scumbag piece of human garbage. If you don't know any better, sure, but when people are buying the game with the specific intent to support transphobia or don't care that they're giving their money to someone who who's publicly transphobic and openly supports bigots and the hurting of people, you're transphobic and probably terrible.

People like you don’t actually help anything. All you do is piss off ordinary people and make them less likely to care about the trans community. You’re just bitter and you feel better about accomplishing nothing when you sling garbage comments at people. Grow up and do something that actually helps the community. Spewing vitriol and calling people transphobic is not helping.

Someone is transphobic Gets called transphobic Surprised Pikachu face
So you want me to stop calling transphobic people transphobic?
Id rather not help at all than actively hurt the community, ruin people's lives, and fund charities that fight to give people less rights. At least I fight for human decency and people's rights and don't donate to this shit.

I’ll rephrase. YOU ARE ACTIVELY HURTING THE COMMUNITY BY MAKING PEOPLE LESS LIKELY TO SUPPORT. Seriously, stop it. You’re not helping, you’re hurting. You’re not the face of the community, you’re just shouting in the comments at people who just want to watch a guys YouTube channel about food.
”He supports JK Rowling.” No he doesn’t. The game is a game. Cry all you want about what she said, the rest of the community has been ignoring her for years.
“She donates against trans acceptance”. Yes, and she would anyway even if the game didn’t get made. She was already rich after the books, it’s a pointless argument based solely on your principles and not on doing any good.
You keep calling people transphobic, but they are not. Buying a video game is not transphobic. You’re delusional and childish. This conversation is over, leave these people alone and spend time figuring your own shit out.

[Continued:]

I dont know in what universe giving more money to be donated to anti LGBT stuff is not transphobic. "Yeah i give money to charities that murder children but i dont support child murder". Sounds insane right? Thats what you're saying. That just because you're giving money to support making trans people's lives worse that you're not transphobic. You're being insane. "She'd support it anyways so who cares!" is the most insane argument i have ever read in my life holy shit. xD

Hopeless and stupid. You may as well go vote for Trump, you’ll fit right in. Honestly at this point I think you’re paid to make the trans community look bad, it makes more sense than whatever other insanity you want to keep blathering. I’m just gonna block you, like every other rational person.
You gave money to the company that made your smart phone and therefor you support child labor since the whole phone, or at least pieces of it, were made from child labor. You’re a disgusting human being….you see how fucking delusional you sound, bro?

One user taps out:

I’m glad you addressed it, but I had to leave. Best of luck to your future endeavors and I hope lessons were learned.

And yet, here you are
This isn’t the airport. You don’t have to announce your departure.

what an original comment, you are so smart and funny and original for having made such a thought provoking post. I hope you print this comment out and frame it so that your children will learn to appreciate what an original thinker their parent is. are you the person who invented "touch grass" as well? big fan of your work

lol I can only imagine how sad your life is that this is how you spend your time

if you think it is sad that I am here on reddit, doing reading and commenting, I have some terrible , alarming news for you.

[Continued:]

lol yea that’s definitely what I meant 😂

One user still has issues, despite the apology:

Any amount of warning that you were planning to paywall the site would have made it a lot more palatable of a change. Doing it without telling people felt shady at best and deceptive at worst.

Yeah, and this is an acknowledgment and an apology. Seems a little cruel to keep dragging him at this point.

I guess it starts with a halfhearted apology. There’s no explanation for why it was sprung without notice.
It’s “yeah whatever guess I should’ve told y’all but here’s some more stuff coming up that you can pay me for”

here's some more stuff coming up that you can pay me for

Ah, so you're one of those people who feels entitled to infinite free content from creators.

It’s weird to me how many people think YouTube content is free. YOU are the product. Free means no monetary exchanges. Do you think Andrew makes no money from YouTube? Do you think YouTube makes no money from you? His videos are not free.

[Continued:]

Wow you are REALLY fucking dumb huh?

No but apparently you are. How does Babish not get paid from YouTube? Is every video he posts “free labor”?

[…]

No I just don’t think this should be portrayed as an apology when it’s really just an advertisement

Maybe he can post again so you can still be mad for some fucking reason

A slapfight breaks out:

I’m sure you have good connections but if you want some fresh eyes on your script, id be down to give some coverage. Why am I being downvoted so heavily? As an aspiring writer myself, I know how hard it is to get feedback on a project. I’m a fan and offering my time and energy. I don’t get what the problem is. lol wtf is this sub? Comments insulting people getting upvotes in a thread about how negative comments have affected someone is wild work. Fuck me for being interested in Andrew as a writer.

Same vibes as the dude who asked Elon to run Tesla who was a nobody
get outta here man lol
Because you’re a nobody lmao

Holy shit, just read through your comments and god damn are you miserable hahah.

meanwhile you're scouring the profiles of people who upset you, looking for mud to sling

Someone calls me a nobody, I gotta go see what mighty status they got in the world to be shitting on others lol.
He literally thinks babish is gonna choose him or something but instead he attacks me 💀

[Continued:]

Looooool you’re gonna play victim??? Aint no fucking way lol. You insult and disrespectfully gatekeep and now you’re the one talking about being attacked hahahahahaha fuck all the way off with that nonsense.

The Flairs:

• “parasocial weiner”
  
• “why don't you stop huffing your own farts for a minute”
  
• “It's a Saturday night and I'm alone. I'm open to talk.”
  
• “Babish isn’t gonna suck you off lil bro”
  

So, I am not diagnosed with either autism or ADHD, and last year when I had an assessment done I was told I was "gifted". I tried to forget that I related to autistic and ADHD people but I keep meeting people who are diagnosed and that (maybe jokingly?) tell me I am too.
Now, my question arises because I do not have any common interests with them and I also do not share the way they like said interests. And I was wondering if it means I am not autistic or ADHD or if it's a matter of curiosity.
They would know a lot about a specific narrow subject (like video games, musicals, frogs, tudor history) and they describe themselves as fans and interact actively with people with the same interests online through social media.
On the other hand, my interests have always been extremely private to me, I never really shared them with anyone because most people found them weird compared to my age. I never fitted in because my peers viewed me as more mature and weird. As for how I like things, I like things in a broader way. I am very interested in philosophy specifically gender studies, ethics and linguistics as well as art because I am an artist myself. I also like musicals but I know 3 of them that I have been listening to since I was 10.
To explain this difference, for instance, miraculous is an interest I share with the people I mentioned but I wouldn't be able to perfectly narrate the synopsis because I spent my days making crafts about miraculous like making the lucky charms.
So, my question is if the way I like things makes me more similar to neurotypical people (even though I am not since I am "gifted"). Or if there are people like you who are both autistic and ADHD who like things the way I do. It's making me feel out of place even within a group I thought I belonged to.

Hello there. If you are like me, you might also be a bit allergic to all the guides out there, that start with "please hit like and subscribe", followed by 10 minutes of chatter around what you need help with, for something that could`ve taken 30 seconds to explain.
With that out of the way, welcome to my No-BullS#$t guide to Soulmask, outlining everything I`ve learned in 80 hours playing on a server rented from G-Portal.
I am going to assume that everyone is somewhat accustomed to the bare basics of the game and how it plays so I will stick to only highlighting things that I learned myself.

1 There are 5 Tribes: Claw, Flint, Fang, Outcasts and Plunderers.

-Everyone can be deterred except Plunderers and Elites (The ones with a unique name and a silver border around their health bar).
-The Claw tribe has the best overall fighters for every weapon school
-The Fang tribe specializes in Remedies, healing and Poisons (Alchemy) so they make for great Alchemists overall, but do very well in relation to ranged combat so make for decent companions, if you prefer having a ranged helper along, they are good for this.
-The Flint tribe are supposedly the clever ones who are all about evolving and furthering their tribe's development so naturally, they make for great crafters.
-The outcasts don`t belong to any tribes and their stats as such are completely random. You can find great ones of course but expect a lower chance of finding what you need, compared to if you were chasing the more specialized tribes.

2 Proficiencies of barbarians go from 1-125+ in each respective school and what they have is based on a lot of factors as well as the low chance of them being a uniquely titled barbarian that can give them various perks outside of the proficiencies themselves.

-The level of the deterred barbarian ONLY affects what the overall proficiencies start at when you deter them and the higher the level the better the proficiency, the level also affect their attributes.
-Source: Personal experience after deterring roughly 800 Barbarians and while I know the pool isn`t very big, but it is high enough for me to be positive that the level of a deterred barb does not affect their max proficiency level, only what it starts at.
-Labourers are great at the collection of materials: Logging, Mining, Harvesting
-Craftsmen: Any crafting, completely random which ones they are given. Also supposed to unlock various tribes medium/advanced clothing and costumes if they are found in a fortress(Only 3 fortresses at the minute.) Potentially bugged right now though as I`ve deterred 50+ Craftsmen of varying levels from Novice to Master Craftsmen in a Flint fortress with 0 unlocks as of yet).
-Porters: Good at working the Kiln and or Furnace but they are also Great at transporting large quantities of items over longer distances as their weight limits are different and they have positive traits that affect how having more weight makes them move faster etc. (Unlocks the first tribe clothing too. Level 20-25 area barracks)
-Well-made DOCs sheet showing the various difference between the tribes as well as the Perks and Traits people have discovered thus far. Thank you to fatheals for sharing it with us, albeit I do not know the owner and creator of the sheet so if anyone knows and can share that with us, I`d like to add them as well.
Tribe Differences
That`s it for now, if there`s anything else you want to know, just ask in the comments and I will add it to the guide too. But these are some of the things I see being asked the most, so instead of commenting in each post and repeating myself, I will update this one with new info.

3 Mysterious Tisane, dropped by bosses will reset the attributes of your main aka the Vagrant Novice character, but the Mysterious body shaping pill will reset the attributes of any of your deterred tribesmen.

-I have been informed there is a server setting that changes this, letting you reset the attributes of your deterred tribesmen much earlier in the game, effectively making the Mysterious body shaping pill a completely irrelevant addition to the game, so the choice is yours. Make the game easier earlier and or play it the way it`s "meant" to be played. Whatever the choice, as long as you are comfortable and happy with it, that`s all that matters.

4 The Basic Portal that you can craft yourself will not let you teleport to unlocked teleporters, only to other basic teleporters. (Please for the love of god change this.)

Is important to note that you can only teleport with whatever is currently on your action/hotbar and it will not bring anything in your inventory when using this discount portal they`ve provided us with unless you turn on Custom Supply Portal in the right-hand Menu in the server settings.

5 Cooking is one of the most important proficiencies in the world of Soulmask.

-I would highly recommend you get someone who`s good at it and put points towards output when selecting bonuses as they improve.
-You can have 7 different buffs active at any one time. 3 Meals, 2 Drinks, 1 Medical and 1 "unhealthy" one in the Cigar. Types of buffs: Staple Food, Recreational, Beverage, Vegetable/Fruit, Meat, Medical Potion and finally a Cigar.
Thank you u/fatheals & u/tadian for the info.

6 Armor & Weapon crafting

-For traits, select Durability for 30-60 respectively and then Quality once you hit Iron as this is the point where levelling starts to slow down and moreover, you will unlock the Sabre tooth Armor at Awareness 40 once you kill the Berserk Sabre-toothed Predator which is a recommendation to everyone and when crafting the gear it will inherit the stats of the Iron Armor that goes into it. Hence you want to make sure it`s as good as possible as this will be the best Armor you will have access to for quite a while.

7 Modifications make a huge difference

-All these mods you keep looting in chests from barracks and dungeons are not useless, even if the numbers may seem small they make a massive difference so use them.
-Having multiple Armor sets with different mods on them will be a benefit, even though it is grindy. Having one with Heat, Cold, Poison and Radiation protection will be the difference between surviving or dyeing.
-Repairing a Weapon or Armor WILL remove the MOD that is on them, so keep this in mind. Repair first, then put on the mod of choice.
-IMPORTANT: You can in fact have EVERY single mod that fits in each respective category on a single piece of Armor, this includes but is not limited to every resistance for example: Poisonproof, chill proof, heat proof and so on.

8 The hunting Gallery is VERY useful.

-It will show a lot of useful info about the local wildlife and enemies you encounter so I recommend having a look if you are struggling with a specific enemy, perhaps you`re just using the wrong weapon to fight it?.
-One good example of when it helped me was in my first Ancient Ruin Dungeon/Holy Ruin where I encountered an enemy type that took essentially 0 damage until I threw a Corrosion bomb on them so use it and you will find that while doing the classic Unga Bunga works, sometimes. Having a bit more tact does come in handy.

8 Farms inside Barracks & Fortresses

-These farms are incredible if you are looking to get resources for either food and even crafting by way of cotton, needed for a lot of various crafts. What is important to note here is that these farms, IF you empty them out, leave and return at a later time, the crops may actually change. The availability of what they can change into, seem to be dependent on what you find in the chests within the Barracks and or Fortress. In the Flint Tribe fortress, I have collected everything except for Cactus out of their farms.

9 Unlocking Tribe Costumes and Armor

-The first three sets can be unlocked by Deterring the Porters in each respective low-level barrack.
-The higher tiered ones can be acquired by deterring craftsmen from Fortresses, albeit. I have yet to unlock a single one, even after numerous deters and full tames, so this might be something that the devs will need to look into, so if you`ve been chasing it as well, know that you are not alone friend.

10 My Co-Op Server setting, aimed at smaller communities, only the options we`ve changed from their defaults.

-You can open the server settings by hitting the "tilde"-key next to the 1 on the Keyboard for QWERTY keyboards, followed by typing in: gm key "your admin password" and then hitting ENTER
-Right-side options are all active besides Spawning monsters and barbarians whilst a player is inside a barrack. PVP, Friendly fire, Cross-Server and applying output multipliers to the special items.
-General: Barb Taming speed 2.5, Proportion of Daytime 0.8, Tribe recruitment limit 100, Mood increase 1.5, Mood Reduction 0.5, Personal animal Quantity 20. The chest drop level is special in that we tested this out, but changing it will bug certain chests, keeping them from respawning loot over time so we left it at 0.
-EXP & Growth: Awareness, character and mask is 3. Proficiency, Collection, Craft, Monster-Kill and Other Exp multipliers are all 2.5, Kill EXP sharing 1. Max awareness 60.
-Output & Drops are all set to 1.5, Crop growth, Crafting Speed. Chest Drop multiplier, Animal growth and hatching speed are all 2.
-Building: I turned off Building Decay because we hate that mechanic, but if I notice people stop playing I`ll turn it on to clear up the map.
-Refresh: Vegetation Respawn Speed 1
-Combat: Dmg against wildlife 1.3, Dmg from wildlife 0.7, Wildlife quality 2, not touched PVP.
-Consumption: Durability 0.5, Repair reduces the durability 0.2, I don`t want people to craft a single set of items and just endlessly repair it with 0 drawbacks so this is a decent median and whilst I can appreciate some enjoy having 0 durabilities, it adds a little extra and will keep you from just staying out and makes you have to prepare a little before bigger outings which I like. At the end of the day, tweak it as you see fit.
-Invasions: Has seemed fine so far, just remember that there are barriers in the game for a reason, albeit not that needed in lower-level zones.

11 Zone Progression by Level

-Eastern Rainforest, typically where you spawn in and start your journey, followed by the Western and Northern Rainforest, the last two zones scale from 10-25 with level 25 Mobs and Barbarians respectively can be found in the Barracks for tribes located there.
-Mangrove is next which is across the water to the south-west of the Western Rainforest which introduces a lot more "aquatic life" and makes for pretty rough base locations, so it is not really recommended as a spot of operations, but there are some tablets to pick up here though for those adventurous enough.
-Next, we`ll continue heading west into the three zones that all have monsters and Barbarians of varying levels from 21-30+ in the Rocky Bottomland, The Wild and finally Pit Hill. These three places make for decent locations if you are looking to build either a second base and or maybe just an outpost?.
-From here we head North and into the Table Mountains where the level range is 30 - 40, however further to our west is a median zone and one of my recommended locations for your second base if you are 35 and closing in on 40 as the weather is very temperamental and it gets pretty chilly, so you`ll want to have access to the Air Heater(Awareness 40) but you WILL make due if you have level 2 Cold mod on the clothing for your tribesmen to stave of the cold. The zone in question is called the Lakeside Forest(26-35) and west of that is also the Jungle Cave which is a poisonous hellscape with Poison dart frogs, scorpions and other creepy crawlies but also the best place for Iron Ore. The Lakeside Fores also houses the Flint Tribe Fortress, where the levels go up to 50+, so not recommended to go in if you`re lowleveled here as they will turn you into a pincushion very quickly but it`s an excellent place to gather good crafters and labourers later in the game.
-North of the Table Mountain is the Plateau Woodland, sharing a level range of 31-40, I have not explored it a lot but it seems like a rather boring locale for a base, but it holds a dungeon where you need Awareness 40 to enter, so it`s worth exploring once you hit that threshold, just make sure you come WELL prepared.
-We continue our adventure north into the Giant Wood Forest and Great Prairie and honestly, I am considering making a base on the Prairie as it`s beautiful and full of life but some of the enemies here are terrifying, so I won't go there unless I have the resources to make barriers around the entire base first.
-We are now going into the last of the northern regions and reaching the initial level cap of 50 in the Southern Wasteland where we are now dealing with enemies in the 41-50 bracket, sometimes even above. Don`t consider this a base location unless you are ready to deal with the radiation but it`s a cool locale with very varied flora and fauna. You will also find the Fang tribe has it`s Fortress in this area, so it`s definitely worth the adventure.
-Now you are more or less getting towards the end of your journey but if you look at the map, there`s a lot of fog west of the desert as well as the far south of the Jungle Cave and The Wild where we went earlier in our adventure. First is the Volcanic Forest 41-50, which is due southwest of the Wild, followed by the Barren Meadow 41-50+ just South of the Jungle Cave and finally the Scorching Volcano in the bottom left of the map with a whooping 46-55 level range and let me tell you. Unless you have Heat protection here, you will die in seconds the closer you get to the Volcano and you can in fact get inside the volcano as it has an expansive underground system to explore.
-The last zone is the Dark Fores, Frostleaf Grove, Frost Canyon and Alpine Land all of which are as of yet, unexplored by myself, but perhaps someone else can offer some insight about these areas for us?.

12 How to determine if a Barbarian is worth deterring before engaging.

-Press "Y" to open up your Mase nodes tree. Once your Core Functional Module has been activated, continue going right till you reach Perception Enhancement and then the linked node called Quality Assessment. With this node repaired, you`ll be able to view more detailed information about both the Wildlife and the Barbarians, their titles and their potential are among some of the things you can see.
-This should help you find your preferred Barbarians to deter, but keep in mind that nothing is final as there is still a lot of RNG involved and getting the perfect barbarian is still something that we`ll all be chasing for a long time, but best of luck to you all.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE AWARDS and SHARES.
Please, if you have anything you would like to be added to it then this is the place, let's make our own little lexicon for those who come after.

Playing as Lanka in a game and looking to attack my neighbor with order scales and was planning to offset the chaos power penalty by throwing frogs at his province before I attack.
Trying to figure out when the unrest from the spells occur, is it before or after movement. Truing to look at the Turn resolution sequence in the manual and magic attacks go before movement, but global enchantments (witch I don't think rain of frogs is) and natural unrest change occur after movement.
Anyone knows when the unrest from Rain of toads and Wrath of Pazuzu is happening. Do I need to wait a turn after casting them to attack or can I attack in the same turn and still get the benefit from the unrest with Chaos Power?

3.3 The Spider And The Fly
"The skittering of many legs haunt the harvesting grounds at night, these leafcutters will need to be vigilant"
This level takes place in a wide open clearing with lots of harvesting patches spread throughout. The map is 1.5 times bigger than in 3.1.
Challenge mode is available as phorid flies.
The mission begins - this leaf cutter ant queen has dug out a small burrow near a vast rainforest clearing. With abundant vegetation nearby, the colony's harvesting operations are sure to be bountiful.
There is an underground chamber that must be dug out before excavating the entrance. It contains a gigantic tarantula molt.
You dig out the underground chamber - the ants have excavated the burrow of Theraphosa Blondi, the Goliath birdeater, these gargantuan spiders live in hollow cavities under the leaf litter and are so large that they have been known to capture and devour small birds. The colony is fortunate, this burrow is abandoned, occupied only by the discarded skin of its previous inhabitant.
You dig to the surface - although the birdeater has forfeited her previous burrow, she may still remain in this area, the nearby tree hollows provide perfect ambush spots for capturing prey, the colony must choose their foraging paths wisely.
The map is large and flat, the saplings are mostly growing opposite of your nest, you need to travel large distances to harvest leaves.
There are four trees on the edges of the map, each one has a hole at the base that leads to an underground system, the inside of which is covered by spider webs that slow down ants. during the day, the tarantula could be hiding in any of these holes. During the night, it emerges to hunt, roaming the clearing and killing anything that crosses it's path.
The birdeater tarantula is a titan, only slightly smaller than the bullfrog. Each bite executes an ant, it can run away at low health. It's the fastest creature in the game.
You enter any of the empty tree hollows for the first time - a scouting party of attas has uncovered one of the birdeater's ambush spots, and it appears to have been used recently. The walls are covered in thick webs that make movement difficult. Thankfully the spider isn't present, for now.
You enter an occupied burrow for the first time - the ants have entered the tarantulas nest! Sending the intrusion, it runs out to face the soldiers.
You encounter the tarantula on the surface for the first time - the harvesting trail has been disrupted by the birdeater tarantula. Out on the hunt tonight, she won't shy away from the buffet of prey conveniently exposed on the surface. If the ants do not possess the numbers to drive it away they should retreat while they still can.
Once you have encountered the tarantula for the first time the objective appears - eliminate the birdeater
The objective appears - with their nighttime harvest being cut short by the birdeater's hunt, this colony has little chance to grow and flourish. The only obstacle standing in their way is the spiders rule over the clearing, it must be eliminated.
You drive away the spider - feeling momentarily overwhelmed, the birdeater has decided to retreat into her burrow to heal. The ants should stockpile vegetation while they can, she won't be gone forever.
When encountered in one of her burrows, the spider has double the attack speed and all ants are slowed by the web, making her much more difficult to engage.
On the third night, the Goliath birdeater invades your nest and only leaves after killing the queen.
The tarantula enters your nest - the birdeater tarantula has followed one of the harvesting trails into the nest! Driven by hunger, she bulldozes through the nest tunnels, this could mean extinction for the colony!
Crab spiders hide on the leaves of plants and have different colours depending on what plant they are on. They insta-kill any ant that walks to the leave on which they are ambushed (Except for majors). They sometimes switch plants.
You get ambushed by a crab spider on a leaf - a harvesting worker has been subdued by misumenia vata, a crab spider. similarly to certain reptiles, this master of ambush can change color to blend in with its surroundings. Once prey enters striking distance, the spider swiftly incapacitates it with a single venomous bite.
You encounter a crab spider on the ground - a crab spider has rushed into the trail. Out on open terrain and with no ambush spot in sight, it will likely be made short work of by the soldiers.
At night, poison frogs roam the clearing, any ant that touches them will be poisoned and will inevitably die. they can consume ants to heal themselves and hop away at low health.
You encounter a poison frog - an ant has been snatched away by an Amazonian poison frog, their name is well earned and the leaf cutters should think twice about engaging such a foe. With It's bright coloration warning the jungle predators of the potency of its venom even the birdeater gives them a wide berth.
Bullet ants roam the forest floor in small packs.
You encounter bullet ants - the leafcutter have encountered a scouting party of bullet ants, paraponera clavata. These fierce warriors are equipped with powerfull stingers and a pair of deadly slicing jaws, and the attas have encroached on their territory.
You encounter the tarantula on the surface again - hungry once again, the birdeater wrecks havoc on the attas harvesting trail and slaughters tens of workers in the ongoing panic.
You win by killing the tarantula - it's exoskeleton mauled by the sharp Atta mandibles, the Goliath birdeater could no longer hold out. It's mangled body will serve as a warning to all jungle invertebrates. The rainforest belongs to the leafcutters.
You lose to the tarantula - as the Goliath birdeater dug up the nest, it was only a matter of time before she sunk her fangs into the queen, paralysing her and sucking out her liquified innards. Unable to stand up to this monster, the colony will wither away and disappear from this clearing.
Night falls - the sky darkens, and the tarantula emerges from her lair to hunt. The leafcutters must harvest with caution.
Day arrives - as the sun's first morning rays shine over the canopy, the birdeater retreats into her cool burrow to digest the nights catch. She will be back soon.

Welcome to another Indie Sunday! This event starts at 12 AM EST and will run for 24 hours.
Please read the below guidelines carefully before participating. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to send us a modmail.
A reminder that Rule 8 is not enforced during this event for submissions which follow the participation guidelines.

Submission Restrictions

• Games may be unreleased or finished
  
• You must provide video footage of the game in action. This can be a prototype, alpha, beta, etc. Images and concept art are nice but you must include a trailer or video of gameplay footage of the game.
  
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• Only developers may make submissions for their games - if you would like to highlight a game on your own, please do so in this hub thread
  
• The same game/developer can not be shared more than once every 30 days.
  

Submission Format

• Submission must be a self-post (No direct links)
• Title: Game Name - Company (or individual) Name - Short description (for example: "classic turn based RPG" or "platformer inspired by Metroidvanias")
• Flair: Indie Sunday
• Body: Any links to trailers/footage, a description of the game, plans for release (platform, target date, etc), any additional information you'd like to add.

Weekly Spotlight

• Sovereign Syndicate - Crimson Herring Studios - Victorian Steampunk RPG With Tarot Cards Instead of Dice - Available Now!
• Demiurges - Berih - mix of Heroes of Might and Magic 3 and card game.
• Good Kill -gamegine games- Immersive FPS Game where you take control of a door gunner in a helicopter during the Vietnam War
• Delearnia: Fractions of Hope - Win or Learn - Puzzle-adventure where you overcome your fear of... math?! [Demo out now]
• Maseylia : Echoes of the Past - Cubow Studio - A 3D Metroidvania
• LOK Digital - Draknek & Friends - daily puzzles now available in the demo
• The Fall of Aether Station - Nibble & Byte Game Studio - rogue-lite tower defense with real-time fleet mechanics
• Dawnmaker - Arpentor Studio - City Builder + Deckbuilder = Solo Board Game (with demo)
• Isle of Swaps - Fuzz Force - Swap cards in a roguelite deckbuilder inspired by trading Pokemon cards in the 90s
• UNKNOWN TAPES - TraviTeam - Jurassic Park Analog Horror
• Dice & Fold - Tinymice - Slay the Spire but with Dice (Dice Roguelike)
• Edge of Sanity - Vixa Games - Lovecraftian survival horror with art inspired by Darkest Dungeon
• Slay the Princess — The Pristine Cut - Black Tabby Games - Definitive Edition of Choice-Driven Horror-Comedy and Romance Visual Novel, Coming to PC and Consoles this Fall!
• Ells Tales - Ells&Pills - horror clicker with puzzle elements and retro stylization
• Goeland - Maarti Games - play as a manipulative seagull in this non-linear open-world game
• Coin-Op Vice - Andrei Fomin - 2.5D Top-down Retro Action
• Saddle Up and Drive - Sgriu Soft - Adventurous open world isometric driving game
• Endless Desert TD - Paw Strike Games - Tower Defense roguelike game featuring procedural map and handcrafted levels
• Zero Orders Tactics - Pauloondra - Puzzle strategy where you are not a general, but a GOD
• Grimshire - AcuteOwlStudio - A grim farming game where the village depends upon you for survival.
• Broken Soul - Katruna - Pixelated horror adventure
• Unbox the Room - Weird Penguin Games - relaxing puzzle game inspired by Unpacking
• Kinsfolk - Vinko Kodzoman - An atmospheric single player adventure game about fatherhood (inspired by games like Journey and Firewatch)
• Gods vs Horrors - Oriol Cosp Games - Roguelike card auto-battler where you recruit Gods from different mythologies to defend the Earth from Cosmic Horrors
• Defenders of the Omniverse - Babushka Entertainment - Reverse Bullet Hell Rogue-Lite
• Under The Island - Slime King Games - 2D Action JRPG in a fictive 90s World
• DRAKE - solarsuit.games - Space Western action RPG featuring real-time combat, organic roleplay, branched dialogues and a deep narrative!
• There's Always a Madman 2: Do Your Worst - Sunny Demeanor Games - An interactive spy novel where you try to stop a silver-loving madman from destroying the Golden Gate Bridge. Demo releases tomorrow June 10
• Die in the Dungeon - ATICO - Deckbuilding Roguelite with Dice Rolling and Frogs [Final Demo]
• Drunk or Dead 2 - 4 I Lab - Post-Apocalyptic VR Shooter with a Twist
• Cairn: Mathair's Curse - Ross McRitchie - A story-driven turn-based JRPG with Scottish humour!
• MOMIBOSU - GCM - Precision 2D platformer inspired by Metroidvanias
• Lonely Tiny Spaceship - Individual - Action Roguelike Arena shooter with a spaceship designer and inertial movement
• Lost For Swords - MaxBytes - roguelike dungeon crawler with high decision density and no busywork
• Minigame Madness - Chaotic Entertainment - A highly competitive online party game with lots of minigames and awesome loot!
• Warden's Will — Elyzio — Roguelite Movement Shooter with Bullethell Combat and Co-op
• It's Better Alone - Studio Alone - Cozy puzzle platformer where you play as two different characters
• FACEMINER - Wristwork - Build a biometric data processing empire from scratch in this hardcore thriller clicker set in 1999 [Next Fest Demo]
• Ground of Aces - Blindflug Studios - A base building game that lets you build your own World War II air base
• Hakan's War Manager – Oba Games - Tactical Battles and Clan Management Inspired by Kingdom Manga
• Pioneers of Pagonia – Envision Entertainment – Wholesome City Builder with the ultimate »Wuselfaktor« – by the Original Creator of »The Settlers« Volker Wertich
• Nomadica - Eduardas Lukosiunas - if Stardew valley and diablo 2 had a child
• Middle Ages: Peasants & Knights - Neronian Studios - immersive medieval survival with realistic inventory
• ZpellCatz - SimaGames - Zelda 1 meets Diablo 2 with cats (ARPG)
• Commander Tiberius Troubleson - Jose Antonini - A fast, unforgiving roguelite featuring handcrafted levels.
• Guns And Draguns - Infinite Stairs - Cooperative Roguelite where players also fight to be the best
• Polygon Hell - Streetware Games - Non-Euclidean FPS
• Green Again - mattsnippets - Cozy colony sim
• Astronomics - Numizmatic - Navigate to passing asteroids, explore, mine and automate
• First Dwarf - Star Drifters - Dwarven Fantasy Iron Man with base building, tower defense, colony survival and action RPG elements

Previous Indie Sunday

Feedback

Feel free to ask any questions in the comments below, or send us a modmail if it is urgent.

Discussion

• Any of these games catch your eye?
  
• Any games you want to personally highlight that haven't been shared yet?
  
• Any projects that have had interesting development journeys?
  
• What indie game recommendations do you have?
  

Well, before I start, I just wanted to say that this family is a fusion of three other families, those three families have their special thing and maybe I will publish them one day (besides that the three share an absent father xd). In addition, I only put him father and children, nothing of other relatives or grandchildren
Edwin Collims SImage 1: The father of the family, the one in his genes runs violence and other things. Because of his genes (which would cause his children to be more or less the same as him) as a young man he fought for mere fun, that until going to some wars, he went to some wars in Latin America to help the country (Edwin is Mexican but with American nationality for secret reasons), so while he was in many countries he usually went to have fun and well, When an absent father and a mother love each other they have a child xd, only this was from an absent father with many different women. Although well, he never knew about them and much less was he interested in taking care of his children or most of them (he is already married) so then he helped certain countries of his country and did not want to know things about his lovers. But when he went to war (he was in Italy) he got linked to a girl, the problem that in the war by a bomb, he was alive but lost an arm and a leg being useless to continue the war (how did he lose it? Don't ask the truth) Once in the United States, despite looking bad, his wife helped him mentally and after that he decided to have a child with his wife Out of pure pride, he never wore prostheses and even so he continued to cheat on his wife with other women
Mijain Weathe image 2: Since he was a child he was born with an insatiable thirst for victories, but no common sport such as soccer since he was not interested, that was until one day his mother took him to an Olympic wrestling gym. With years of training he was a beast who eliminated his rivals and eliminated the competition with his moves, he was a pride for his mother. Despite being someone not very heavy on the same intense training as Aleksandr Karelin (or rather the counterpart who believes him, since usually when I create a famous character sometimes it is inspired or based on the real person), even once he found a refrigerator in bad condition and from that day on one of his workouts was to carry it and run, although it varies, it can be done in apartments or in a forest. Only at 18 years old he was able to go to participate in the Olympic and Pan American Games, in total he has 3 medals, only 3 because he participated in those three and plans to do so until he finds someone better than him. Mijain's father recognized him on television (since on his left shoulder they have a family mark, eyes and that), the father wanted to talk to Mijain but the previous mentioned is not very interested in his social life, he has only studied, worked and the rest of the day trains like crazy and only talks to his Olympic wrestling partners (in addition, the name is a combination between Mijain López and floyd mayweather, only that in that world the reference is surnamed Weather xd)
Edwin Collims J image 3: Really, this is the least interesting. He as an inspiration for his father got into the navy after his studies and was one of the best, despite having the same instinct as everyone thanks to the fact that his parents did raise him well (and well, they also loved him xd) he never went out to fight with other people like street fights but he did love fights. He is currently married to a former Olympic gymnast and has a daughter who is an amateur boxer and supports her, this is one of the few who has material to be a good father and he is, not the best but a good father
Tristofer (he doesn't have a last name or doesn't know him at least) / image 4: The youngest of the sons, he does not train (or at least unconventionally but has little muscle), is a teenager who commits crimes and is in a gang. Because of his attitude on more than once he has fought with people his age or much older and usually there are two, he wins the fights or loses them (in fact he has an ugly wound on his cheek from one of his fights). He lives in a house which is owned by the papi gang, he along with his cousins and other members live there He has never been to school, his attitude with other people is not very good and thanks to that he is not so smart intellectually although he is somewhat intelligent socially. He is a pickpocket, street fighter and robber and just because he is not yet 14 years old he has not yet been arrested. He is much stronger than a normal person but someone with the minimum of technique (like a boxer for example) could beat him, he is lost potential and even if he will train anything because of his genes that make people violent and endow them with things like strength, restraint, reproduction, etc he could be a professional, maybe not a champion of something but if in the first tops (using boxing, at least would be in the 20th ranking)
Arthur Eduardo Phillps / Image 5: A karateka from the Dojo the frog, he was a prodigy since he was a child because of his genes, when he was young he got into tournaments, he always lost when he got someone from his own Dojo because they were much bigger and better than him, so he lost but he was still good. He stopped out of curiosity and went to Japan in his college days to see if he could find something much better in Japanese karate, he met many karatekas and he had an almost undefeated streak in Japan. He had an almost undefeated streak in Japan but had to withdraw because he was given an illegal blow to the head, first he could not write without his hand shivering and it even went so far as to make his mind stop, so his friends (who are currently the masters of Dojo the frog) forbade him to continue fighting, that shattered Arthur's dreams, which was to be an inspiration for a karateka, what he did was work as a master of the Dojo and had a son. Currently he trains his son with his same techniques, advising him and even teaching him techniques from his friends to create the perfect karateka, although his son is not interested in karate, he only does it because he is bored and deep down like in his whole family he has the need to fight with people.
Rigoberto "hands of stone" Duran / image 6: He was born in Panama, he was born in a poor neighborhood and at home he lived with his mother and with many of his relatives (only on his mother's side), he fought against children betting money to get home with money, a man saw him and offered him to fight in boxing since he saw a talent that he did not see in his normal boxers, Rigoberto accepted, he really had few amateur fights but he was not interested, the boxing master little by little saw how that potential was lost and Rigoberto annoyed simply looked for jobs. One day painting a house a cousin found him a boxing fight for $25, the determined one went to that fight and won the first round, thanks to that this Panamanian would slowly make a name for himself. He at one point became known as "stone hands" or "the king", his best and worst moment was when he won the WBA title. Reason? Before when he won fights he was a little careless but now as a champion he began to neglect himself much more, in fact because of himself he lost a lot, even his most difficult fights were against Sugar Ray Charles 1 and 2 (reference more or less to the fights of Roberto Duran vs Sugar Ray Leonard). Fight of a Panamanian who made his own name with his stone hands and knockouts against the American who was famous with his technique and even participated in an Olympic It was the most difficult for both of them and the first Games being a gold medalist, was an expected fight. When Rigoberto won by split decision he knew that he would have a rematch clause later although he did not take it very seriously, which would be a bad decision, it was a party with alcohol, women, illicit substances, food and a long etc, it was all abundant, in a short time he gained weight and had to give the second fight in 2 months for which he had to train a lot barely being able to make weight and still lost the fight, This is the one with the least instinct when it comes to luxury. Even so, he was an inspiration for many boxers as the future baddest man in the world, also known as kid dynamite (I hope you understand who he is referring to).
The European monster (not its real name) /image 7: He has the instinct to win more sadistic, since he was a child he fought in the street, a judo master when he saw him tried to teach him the martial art to improve him as a person, did it help? Not really, this sadist continued to fight in the street and the more he hurt his enemies the better for this monster, on top of that in this world there are people who can have super powers but they are very few and this one has the super power of adaptability (it is a very broken super power). On top of that, he had a millionaire family (on his mother's side), so he learned another martial art (he is not interested in mma, just making his rival suffer), so he is a master of Judo, Brazilian jiu jitsu and street fighting, he was only allowed to go to a judo tournament and they did not let him go anymore, All his rivals ended up in the hospital because of how strong he was, he even has many defeats despite being someone strong, why? Disqualification In addition, when he gets bored he goes to different countries to fight the first one he sees, he has beaten boxers, muay thai fighters, etc, even with the biggest trap because for him to win is to win even if it is with cheating, even he takes steroids and because of his genetics he is only affected in a good way by steroids
And well, now I will explain a little about the bloods, only two that are the special ones
Black-Eyes: A warrior blood, Asian blood which only specializes in physical prowess, the first children will naturally be the fastest and least strong and the last children will be the strongest but slower. This blood is very sadistic and they usually had an uncontrollable desire to fight barehand, not that they are bad with weapons, they just love to use their hands to hit another person
Familiar branding on the left shoulder: This blood is much older, it is theorized that they even come from the first humans, these have more balanced stats, seek the preservation of their lineage and were forced to things like strength, intelligence, beauty and so on (this is more like balanced stats unlike black eyes that seek only strength and the rest is optional)