I can't enjoy nintendo games. Most of them consist of boring arcade-like gameplay, and they all seem like the exact same game as each other.
Nintendo don't use particularly violent themes in their games, which is fine, but a lot of the time it really hampers my enjoyment of the game, especially when it's all sunshine and rainbows with nothing wrong with the game world.
I also think the graphics are extremely boring, and i think they could be better and more diverse even within the hardware limitations of their devices. I don't think graphics are particularly important for games, and i'm not saying they need to be more reallistic, just more interesting to look at.
It's also hard to not mention some of the extortionate prices Nintendo charge for their games. Why is Mario Kart 8 deluxe almost £50? It's not an awful game, but that much for a simple racing game (compared to similar games at a similar price) is absolutely insane.
Buy Assetto Corsa or BeamNG.drive for a fraction of the price instead. Hell, if you want a really similar racing game to Mario Kart, get TrackMania, the base game is free.
I will say that some of their co-op games like Mario Kart can be fun with friends, but the negatives definitely outweigh the positives.

Jamaican singer-songwriter Minna LaFortune, a rising star in the reggae world, has released a stirring new single, “The Black Star Liner.”
LaFortune told Caribbean Life on Wednesday that the uplifting anthem pays homage to Jamaican national hero Marcus Garvey and his teachings of African liberation, self-reliance and PanAfricanism.
“’The Black Star Liner’ is a reggae song with a driving rhythm that invites the listener to join the symbolic Black Star Liner, a shipping company founded by Garvey in 1919, and journey to Africa on a ‘mission of love and togetherness,’” she said. “The lyrics express the pride, hope and love that the Jamaican people have for Africa and the African Diaspora, as well as the determination and courage to overcome challenges and create a more prosperous future with other Africans.”
LaFortune said the song is inspired by Garvey’s philosophy and the music of Bob Marley and Burning Spear, “two of the most influential reggae artists who embraced Garvey’s teachings and spread them to the world.”
She said the song also “predicts changes that were going to happen in the Jamaican-African Bond and in Africa that were in keeping with the vision of Marcus Garvey.”
“With its dynamic reggae rhythms and socially conscious lyrics, ‘The Black Star Liner’ takes listeners on a metaphorical journey from Jamaica to the African continent,” LaFortune said. “’The Black Star Liner’ metaphor is so powerful because it represents the dream vehicle that will carry African peoples back to their ancestral homeland.
“Just as Marcus Garvey founded the actual shipping company in 1919 to facilitate the return to Africa, my song envisions a symbolic journey where we’re all aboard that ‘liner’ headed to the continent with pride, unity and determination,” she added. “The Black Star Liner embodies the hopes of the pan-African movement.”
The song’s powerful chorus declares in part: “On the Black Star Liner, we coming from Jamaica/On the Black Star Liner, we going to Africa/With the words of Marcus/And the strength we possess/We’re on a mission of love and togetherness.”
“’The Black Star Liner’ is my humble contribution to keeping Marcus Garvey’s dream alive – that, one day, African peoples across the world will come together in the spirit of pride, self-determination, and unity,” LaFortune said. “It’s a reminder that, despite our struggles, we have an unbreakable strength that will ultimately lead us to a brighter future.”
The single is available now on all major streaming platforms.
LaFortune’s musical voyage began in Jamaica, where she said she was immersed in the melodies of her homeland.
Migrating to the US at 30, LaFortune said she continued nurturing her passion while contributing to the Caribbean Diaspora’s cultural fabric.
Her debut EP “Dance with Me” Volume 1, released in June 2023, showcases her originality and song-writing skills, and her artistic range on themes from romance to social commentary.
The festive “Caribbean Christmas” album followed in December 2023, fusing vibrant Caribbean styles.
LaFortune said she is currently working on “Dance with Me” Volume 2, set for a 2024 release, and continuing her powerful musical legacy.
She said included in “Dance with Me” Volume 2 will be her recent releases, “Reggae Music is Love to me,” “Don’t Drink Your Sorrows,” and “The Black Star Liner,” among many more original songs.
Contact Minna LaFortune at [info@minnalafortune.com](mailto:info@minnalafortune.com), or call 917-771-7935.

Hello there! I have created an OST reference of tracks available on the OSTs from the Remake series: Remake, Remake Plus, Intergrade, and Rebirth. Figured I would share here for other people to enjoy, and also in case anyone has information I can add!
This link is to a cover page that explains which tabs you can safely click into to avoid spoilers, since part of the spreadsheet is explaining what is happening while each track plays. There is a non-spoiler version that will just have track names and repeated motifs checked, and versions with details based on which games you have completed. (If you have played Remake but aren't done with Intergrade/Rebirth yet, you can click on the Remake Spoilers tab without seeing any track info from the DLC and next game.)
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Q94AQJ8wAnmKM4_zqQhBnm6hCJNheDU5DRnxRhTHbmA/edit?usp=drivesdk
As some quick background on what this is for , Ilike listening to songs and identifying different motifs to better understand the storytelling. Except I'm really really bad at music! But I'm awesome at spreadsheets and hyperfixating on things, so I found that this helps me learn new things and enjoy the story more with that depth.
For the VII Remake trilogy, I'm making this list with a focus on identifying motifs used throughout the game, based on the tracks from the original VII. There are also motifs unique to Remake trilogy that are repeated (Whispers Theme, Hollow, NPTK), so I am adding in things like that, as well.
How is this useful? If you really like Aerith's Theme and wanted to listen to all the songs with that in the arrangement, you could. Maybe you'll notice something new. I hadn't played the OG in a long time, so I didn't notice that at the very end of Remake, the track Seven Seconds Till the End uses the melody from Temple of the Ancients in OG. (That blew my mind yesterday and is exactly the kind of reason I wanted to make this!)
I do not differentiate between OG tracks using the same melodies - One Winged Angel is tracked, but Those Chosen by the Planet is not. I would indicate a Remake track called Those Chosen by the Planet to be tracked under One Winged Angel, since it's based on the same melody. But I might add a note that it's a faithful recreation of Those Chosen by the Planet, just not making a whole new column for it because this big boy is fat enough and only gonna get fatter. You'll also notice I have X's marked, and some with question marks - the question marked ones are things I suspect are there or I read somewhere that they're there, but I haven't listened to it myself to confirm.
So, feel free to browse and enjoy. I haven't completed it, not even close. I have A LOT of listening I need to do in my free time, and definitely need to listen to the OG tracks to refresh my memory. :) But I wanted to share what I have so far, and ask if anyone here has similar notes I can add in, or any corrections to make.

I've been fully licensed for 2.5 years. For nearly 2 of those years, I was still getting free weekly supervision/consultation with a senior therapist as that was just something my last job offered all therapists. I'm now realizing this is pretty unusual. I'm now in a new job with very little oversight of staff therapists. There's a lot of freedom to practice as you chose, which is nice, but little opportunity to consult with colleagues and managers because everyone is so busy. I miss having a regular time to chat about cases and get feedback. I find myself talking so much about work in my personal therapy which takes away from other issues I'd rather be talking about. I'd love to be a part of a regular therapist consultation group but it is hard to find groups at times that work for me. I'm considering paying for an outside supervisor and would love to hear people's experiences with this. Is it weird to want/need this as a licensed therapist?
I'm also trying to develop my own habits for monitoring my performance. We already do therapeutic alliance surveys after every session at my job but I don't get much valuable feedback from those-- clts just speed through them and mostly say everything is great. I'm thinking of keeping a running log of my own informal self-assessments of sessions-- maybe updating it at the end of each day and then looking for themes over time, reviewing it on some regular basis and making plans to improve where needed. I'd love to hear other ideas-- ways of staying on top of your game that are easy to implement and keep up.

Heyo The Finalists, just a quick idea that came to my mind... Since we have OSPUZE AK, Revolver and MG, etc. would a grenade launcher that "shoots" small cans of ospuze, those could splash some delicious ospuze as/with an explosion effect be a nice skin? In theory, both medium's and heavy's grenade launcher would work to fit small-sized yellow cans in the rack with the classic ospuze themed weapon body. Not sure if anyone's had this idea yet but I'd be happy to see it. :3
What do you think? Feel free to correct/upgrade and critize or share the idea, but I think it could make a nice skin! PS: Sorry I don't have much experience with photo-editing so I couldn't realize the idea on the model.

Making intentional and long playlists is a time consuming process. Feel free to steal, yawn, or do with this information what you please. All of these were created for some kind of large friend/family gathering.

(new) Hootenany 2024

• A playlist with a mix that includes some old folk American music / modern folk / independent country / swamp rock / independent rock / independent dance / and some crowd pleasers. Made for a family party with a folksy theme.

(2022) !-garden

• A playlist with a mix that includes a wide variety of music that was inspired by my sister who was leaving the U.S. for a few years. This was made for her going away garden party.

(2021) Party Super Mix ~8+ Hour

• A playlist with the most crowd pleasing familiar songs. I originally made it for an important birthday party.

I'm on the hunt for someone amazing who I can build a lasting and meaningful connection with. Looking for a partner who is not only down to earth and kind-hearted, but who is also hilarious, quirky, and full of life. Someone who is always smiling and looking at the positive side of things, even when life gets tough.
Share my passion for games (videogames and boardgames) and fantasy worlds, like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and A Song of Ice and Fire. Someone who's up for going on wild adventures to theme parks and exploring new destinations around the world.
I can't wait to spend time with someone who enjoys binge-watching a show or laughing together while watching TikToks (and maybe even making some of our own). A chatty person willing to stay all night talking.
The first message is always the hardest, so relax. Age, location, and a Hey! is enough, and we can go from there. Feel free to share some of your hobbies and favorite shows, too. Let's see if we have some common interests and go from there.
Overall, I'm so excited to meet my perfect match and embark on a journey. Full of laughs and adventures together. Let's create some unforgettable memories!

I'm on the hunt for someone amazing who I can build a lasting and meaningful connection with. Looking for a partner who is not only down to earth and kind-hearted, but who is also hilarious, quirky, and full of life. Someone who is always smiling and looking at the positive side of things, even when life gets tough.
Share my passion for games (videogames and boardgames) and fantasy worlds, like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and A Song of Ice and Fire. Someone who's up for going on wild adventures to theme parks and exploring new destinations around the world.
I can't wait to spend time with someone who enjoys binge-watching a show or laughing together while watching TikToks (and maybe even making some of our own). A chatty person willing to stay all night talking.
The first message is always the hardest, so relax. Age, location, and a Hey! is enough, and we can go from there. Feel free to share some of your hobbies and favorite shows, too. Let's see if we have some common interests and go from there.
Overall, I'm so excited to meet my perfect match and embark on a journey. Full of laughs and adventures together. Let's create some unforgettable memories!

I'm writing my own monster taming story, in my own world called Crystures (Crystal + Creatures), with a darker tone I know GF would never put into an official game. I'm planning to draw/write a webcomic with it first, and maybe a video game if it gathers enough success afterwards.
Infodump (feel free to skip): In the story, the main character is an abused and sheltered non-binary fairy (person-sized)who was born to save the world from an incoming apocalypse caused by an evil god. Natural disasters are occurring more and more frequently and with increasing strength, and untamable monsters are starting to get stronger and stronger. The MC (still deciding on which name I want to use, I'm split between Bells, Illilosh, and Arpin) was born from the God of Life, Kokolpos. They are the only one who can understand Crystures, like N from Gen 5.
The main reason why I wanted to ask this is for insight on what I could include into the plot and worldbuilding. Such as themes and conflict I haven't really thought of before.

(continuation of part 4)
I already considered this piece the second greatest musical evidence for Clerith after the London Symphony Orchestra’s Final Fantasy VII Symphony’s second movement “Words Drowned by Fireworks” and its guide, but now that I know about the Clerith reunion that was baked into the ending, the gap between the two is narrower. Each time I hear Cloud begin to call out for Aerith in part 3 (3:04), I immediately start crying. It sounds so much to me like Cloud’s voice in the dark saying “Aerith…?”, meek and scared. If you’ve read everything so far, you know how long Cloud has been looking for Aerith, lost without her, searching relentlessly for decades in real-life time. Through FFT, DFF, Advent Children, MFF x FFVII… all of it spent looking for his Promised Land. In OG, Cloud was so tormented by Jenova’s manipulation and so consumed by the chase for Sephiroth that he could not realize what or how much he felt for her until she was taken away forever. The piece we’ve just analyzed tells the story of Cloud and Aerith intertwining and separating against their will, and you can truly feel Cloud’s anxiety as he struggles to wrench Aerith out of fate’s cruel grasp. Perhaps it is because of Aerith’s ultimately fatal responsibility, inherited from her mother, that this iteration of her theme is called “The Cetra”.
Though in part 5, Cloud and Aerith reunite… could this reunion symbolize their meeting again in Remake, or something more permanent? I think it’s meant to leave us wondering.
I’m very sensitive to music, and as I’m typing this, I’m crying a bit. I wanted to share my interpretation of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” with you very badly, because it makes me feel so much and really enhances Clerith’s story. I’m overjoyed to have found out about the reunion at the very end. And it’s all because you guys showed love for my last analysis! You guys are giving me gifts every day.
V. b) i. 3) Combined Analysis
Please listen to and watch the scene of Cloud’s MOTF 6 (4:21-8:46) again, and consider section “V. b) i. 2)”. What is Uematsu telling us? Similarly to how main world theme of FFVII informs us that Jenova is sabotaging Cloud’s identity far before it becomes a plot point in OG, “Aerith’s theme - The Cetra” is telling us what not even Remake Cloud consciously knows at this point: he’s been searching desperately for her, and fears losing her once more.
As if that wasn’t proof enough, the timing of the shots and musical phrases is absolutely damning. Recall that part 3 of “Aerith’s theme - The Cetra” specifically symbolizes Cloud’s anxiety surrounding Aerith’s safety. It is this particular part of the piece that plays for the entirety of Aerith’s allusions to her murderers and her death (7:25-7:54), including the very moment where “Cloud feels his chest constrict tightly” (7:51-7:54). What’s more, part 5 the piece, which specifically Cloud freeing Aerith from the restraints of fate, coincides with the moment Tifa grabs Aerith’s hand and pulls her out from the circle of Whispers closing in on her (8:42-8:45). This moment leads me to believe that the reunion in part 5 of the piece indeed symbolizes Cloud succeeding (perhaps with Tifa’s help) in saving Aerith from her tragic fate and reuniting with her for good.
It’s heart-wrenching and brilliant. Our theory stands strong.
V. b) ii. Credits: Piece Inclusion
I find it very telling that the character themes included in the credits of Remake are Cloud’s “Hollow” (0:00-5:24), an orchestral arrangement of Aerith’s theme (5:24-9:24), and an orchestral arrangement of the main world theme, (9:24-14:27) which of course includes Cloud’s true theme. No other character themes appear during the rest of the credits (14:27-18:09). This is telling: the credits are communicating to us that Remake is about Cloud and Aerith. Our Mission Theory only gets stronger.
V. b) iii. Showing Relationships Through Music: Intermingling Character Themes
This doesn’t have to do with the Mission, but here’s a pretty good anti-Cloti argument while we’re here.
As shown in section “V. a) i.” where we explored the roles of Cloud, Jenova and Sephiroth’s themes within the FFVII world theme, the way character themes interact in a piece can tell you a lot about those characters’ relationships. This is certainly the case in “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” as well (see section “V. b. ii. 2)”).
I’d like to mention that in all of my listening to the Remake OST and rewatching playthroughs of Remake, I’ve never encountered a single piece that united Cloud and Tifa’s themes. Not once. Let alone a piece that depicts them as intimately or emotionally as “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” depicts Cloud and Aerith. Even the most Cloti cutscenes in Remake aren’t supported by pieces mixing or even juxtaposing Cloud and Tifa’s themes. I can’t find any of Cloud’s motifs anywhere during the orchestral arrangement of Tifa’s theme that plays during her resolution scene in chapter 14. I can’t find either of their motifs in the track the plays when Cloud calls Tifa beautiful at Seventh Heaven in chapter 3. A motif from Tifa’s theme does appear in the track that plays during the childhood promise scene in chapter 4, (0:00-0:25), but it never plays at the same time as or even near Cloud’s motifs (1:23-1:47 and 2:03-2:29). They’re distant or otherwise unaffiliated.
The only exception is that an altered version of Cloud’s theme’s section A phrase 1 appears in the background of Tifa’s theme (1:17-1:23). This symbolizes her connection to Cloud and how much of her attention and worry revolve around him— a reference to how she cares so much that it borders on dependency. Of course, it doesn’t go both ways: Tifa isn’t in Cloud’s theme at all. To me, this lack of reciprocity concerning the inclusion of Cloud’s motif in Tifa’s theme signifies that the only time Cloud and Tifa are together is in her head. She does think about him a lot, which we witness in her chapter of Trace of Two Pasts. Tifa loses sleep over him even two years after he left Nibelheim, despite the fact that she barely knew him at all:

“The moment she heard the word “Soldier”, the few memories she had with Cloud Strife came flooding back. He never contacted her after they parted ways two years ago […]. She tossed and turned all night. When she counted them again, her memories with Cloud were so surprisingly few that others might find it hard to believe that they grew up as next-door neighbors” (Trace of Two Pasts, translated by pekotranslates on Tumblr).

FFVII Remake Ultimania also comments on the superficial nature of Cloud and Tifa’s water tower promise, and how regardless of its naïveté, it became fundamental to Tifa:

“Though rooted in a jejune heroine fantasy of being rescued in a pinch by her hero, this promise is clearly etched in Tifa’s memory” (Tifa’s profile in section 01 of “Character & World”, “An Enduring Childhood Promise” in “Topics of Tifa” page 20).

You could argue that “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” is only one song wherein Cloud and Aerith’s themes interweave, but you’d be proven wrong by the Rebirth OST…
V. c) The Rebirth OST
Unfortunately, the full Rebirth OST isn’t out and available where I can listen to it right now. However, based solely on the incomplete OST that’s available to me right now, I can tell you with certainty that the composers were told to incorporate Clerith into the musical storytelling: Cloud and Aerith’s themes intermingle in multiple pieces. I can’t imagine what else I’ll discover once I listen to the full OST. For now, I checked out what was available on YouTube and listened to cutscene audios. This section would be eternal if I included every time Cloud and Aerith’s motifs interact, especially in chapter 14. Trust me, I’d love to talk about every single one, but this thing is long enough already, so let’s just address what pertains to our Mission Theory specifically rather than stopping at every single Clerith reference in the OST.
V. c) i. Ending Cutscene Music
Ending cutscenes are often used to address the next step the characters will be taking as well as their emotional and mental state. They also open up new questions to make the player curious. Indeed, Rebirth’s ending cutscene (18:56-25:00) gives us an impression of how the party members feel by the end of the game: everyone misses Aerith. Barret looks upset and confused at the mention of her (19:35-19:45), the girls are crying and Nanaki is mourning (19:58-20:35). Additionally, we are shown the empty White Materia and Black Materia in Cloud’s possession (20:40-21:24), foreshadowing that they will come to be important in part 3. Cloud and Aerith share a warm goodbye, and exchange promises: Aerith will send smoke signals if something happens to her so a worried Cloud can remain updated on her well-being and she will stop Meteor, and Cloud will stop Sephiroth (23:00-25:00). The fact that this scene is animated in CGI is enough to tell us that the devs consider it narratively important, just like they do Bugenhagen’s observatory and the party’s advance into the Forgotten Capital CGI cutscenes. What did the composers decide to communicate with us about the end of Rebirth and the plot going forward?
Big surprise: Clerith.
During the entire cutscene, only two themes play: Cloud’s and Aerith’s. The cutscene’s music begins only when Cloud notices Aerith among the party members and begins watching her (19:21). She interacts with the rest of the party without their knowledge, different segments of her theme playing one after another. Her theme only stops when Cloud finally looks away from her and to the empty White Materia in his hand (20:45). The music focuses on the mystery and ominousness of these materia, only returning to Aerith once Cloud hears her voice and repeats her message to the party (21:30).
Cloud’s theme appears when he asserts that Barret needn’t worry about him (section A of Cloud’s true theme, 22:41), though soft and tentative, only swelling when Barret and Tifa climb aboard the Tiny Bronco and Cloud finds himself alone with Aerith again (22:57). As he asks Aerith if “[she’ll] be okay getting back” (23:08), the final phrase of section A of his theme plays, but without its concluding note, the tonic. He waits for her to answer him as his theme waits for hers to complete and answer it, that final note dragging long over the seconds (23:09-23:13). She answers with a teasing remark that references their unwillingness to part from each other back in Remake’s Evergreen Park:

“[Cloud has] a chat with Aerith, from whom he’s reluctant to part” (chapter 9 in section 04 “Scenario”, “Main Story Digest”, “4. Saying Goodbye”, page 275)”.

As soon as Aerith answers Cloud’s question with this romantic callback, her theme answers his too: section C of Aerith’s theme begins with the key’s tonic, resolving Cloud’s incomplete phrase (23:13): she gives him resolution. He chuckles, getting her reference, and the music swells (23:16). The music ebbs and flows thusly, following the rhythms and underlying emotions of their conversation. Finally, the piece ends with phrase 2 of of section A of Cloud’s true theme, following a strong repetition of the first half of Aerith’s theme’s section A. The two make their promises to each other, and “No Promises to Keep” begins, leading us to the credits. This is most definitely a Clerith song, but more on that later.
What this shows us is that Cloud and Aerith’s relationship is fundamental to the plot of Rebirth and will also be fundamental to the plot of part 3: they are isolated one one-on-one in this cutscene, and the music depicts their warm, sweet interaction as well as the strength of Aerith’s character to contrast with Cloud’s somewhat meek personality. The composers are telling us that these two, specifically, together alone, are hugely important to the plot here. This was already true in OG, but no such emphasis was ever placed on their interactions and relationship in its music. Something is different, deeper, more intense now. The Mission Theory explains why. It also suits our theory that the composers are emphasizing the centrality of Clerith in the plot of the Remake trilogy. Cloud’s love for Aerith is the reason for the trilogy’s existence, and it will be the greatest motivator for Cloud in part 3. It’s a grand announcement.
Just like in Remake, I could not find a single instance of Cloud and Tifa’s themes interacting in Rebirth, apart from at the end of the intimate Skywheel date— but every girl receives this treatment in their intimate dates, so each of these instances can be crossed out. Additionally, the Tifa date is not the canon one, but I digress…
V. c) iii. Credits

1. Piece Inclusion

Once more, I find it very telling that of all the pieces included in the credits of Rebirth, the only character themes are Cloud’s and Aerith’s. We start with a song about Aerith’s point of view to mirror *Remake’*s “Hollow”, “No Promises to Keep” (5:18-11:10), followed by the FFVII world theme (11:10-16:12) which of course contains Cloud’s true theme, then we move into a piece whose unofficially translated title is “Parade Battle Ceremony - The Dawn of a New World” as an arrangement of the parade ceremony theme from chapter 4 (16:12-19:03), followed by a theme for the Lifestream springs whose name I don’t have (19:03-21:38), “Junon - Fortified Metropolis” (21:38-24:28), and finally, a gorgeous arrangement of Aerith’s theme (24:28-28:47). No other character is referenced in the credits music: the credits are telling us Rebirth is about Clerith. Our Mission Theory explains why.
V. c) iii. 2) “No Promises to Keep”
At the very end of this song written and performed by Aerith, we’re treated with a sweet little piano conclusion (10:46-11:10): it begins with a variation on Aerith’s theme’s section A (10:46-11:01), and concludes with two ascending arpeggios, each four notes long (11:01-11:10). Each of these ascending arpeggios is a variation of the phrase 1 of Cloud’s true theme’s section A. The differences are minimal. The phrase is usually five notes long rather than four, the first arpeggio ends on the tonic rather than Cloud’s iconic subtonic, and the second arpeggio starts on the subtonic rather than the tonic. The song Aerith wrote concludes with Cloud’s most famous motif. This is also the case in her Gold Saucer performance (3:31-3:41).
V. c) iii. 3) Arrangement of Aerith’s Theme
The final piece in the credits is an arrangement of Aerith’s theme (24:28-28:47) which has noticeably similar elements to the version of her theme that plays during the Jenova Lifeclinger battle in chapter 14 (0:12-3:36), such as the female choirs. Since these female choirs are only heard in the Forgotten City version of Aerith’s theme, and since the credits arrangement of her theme plays at the same time as clips from her chapter 14 pseudo-death roll across the screen, I estimate that this credits arrangement specifically reflects the event of Aerith’s pseudo-death. Recall that composers had access to the credits video as they composed, meaning this piece is specifically written for Aerith’s pseudo-death in Rebirth.
What I find fascinating is that, just like the arrangements of her theme that play during Aerith’s pseudo-death and the Jenova Lifeclinger battle, this credits arrangement contains the sound of Cloud’s pain, rage and protest. Phrase 1 and the first three notes of phrase 2 of Cloud’s true theme section A play on the strings and brass quite loudly and insistently, just as Cloud blocking masamune appears on the credits screen (25:11-25:21). Sephiroth’s dissonant, high and screechy violins appear just as his face comes onto the screen (26:33), and almost as a protective response, phrases 1 and 2 of Cloud’s true theme’s section A return (26:47-27:00). Finally, similarly to what we hear in part 5 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra”, a slightly modified section A phrase 1 of Cloud’s true theme play along with section C phrase 3 of Aerith’s theme (oh wow section A and C section Aerith for Cloud’s theme and section Cloud for Aerith’s theme I just realized that’s such a cute coincidence), though unfortunately they do not meet in the middle like last time since they start two octaves apart (28:20-28:25). I’ve recreated it for you once more here so you can really appreciate it. The fact that their motifs don’t truly reunite like in “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” is sad, but the very last thing you see onscreen is Aerith’s goodbye to the Tiny Bronco (27:10-27:42), so it makes sense that this piano conclusion implies that Cloud and Aerith aligned, but not yet reunited for good. That’s exactly what you get from the ending cutscene. It does seem to imply that they will be reunited in part 3, as both the ending cutscene and this piano conclusion read as a “till we see each other again” rather than a “farewell”.

VI. Textual Evidence

Now that the musical evidence is done, let’s compile some textual story evidence that supports our theory!
VI. a) Remake Trilogy (Thus Far) Handholding Explained?
As I’m sure you’ve noticed, handholding is a motif in Cloud and Aerith’s relationship— and an extremely symbolic one at that! When researching for info to validate my theory, I found that this Clerith motif was extremely helpful! Its inclusion in the Remake trilogy, and especially in Rebirth, is hugely significant in my eyes.
VI. a) i. Pre-Remake Trilogy: Aerith’s Initiative
Before examining the significance of Clerith handholding in Remake and Rebirth, we should establish the meaning of this motif in OG and Advent Children.
Cloud and Aerith have reached out to take each other’s hands many times since 1997. Aerith used to literally drag him by the hand a lot, shocking the cold and distant merc, before she left. After her death in OG, Cloud surely longed to be able to feel her hand take his again, cursing himself for not enjoying it while she was alive, and for never being the one to grasp her hand first: he never got to tell her how he feels about her, or to save her. It was always her reaching out for him, saving him.
This is why the scene in OG when Aerith reaches for him from the Lifestream after Cloud defeats Sephiroth in chapter 3 of disk 3 is so touching: Cloud sees her hand and reaches out to take it, so close to finally establishing that mutual connection, but she soon fades, and replaced by Tifa’s hand in the tangible world. He doesn’t get to hold Aerith’s hand again.
That is, not until Advent Children, where near the end of his battle with Bahamut Sin, he sees Aerith reach out to him once again (1:08-1:30). Cloud finally gets to hold her hand for the first time in two years when he lost her. This moment was given extra importance by the devs. In fact, Nojima told us the following:

“The ending scene of the battle with Bahamut, the scene where Aerith reaches out her hand, is an homage to the last scene from a previous production. It was [Nomura]'s idea” (FFVII Reunion Files, “Story Digest”, “Summoned Beast”, page 113).

VI. a) ii. The Remake Trilogy (Thus Far): Cloud’s Initiative
As I’ve said before, if I’m right that Remake is all about Cloud stepping up to be more attentive and active in his relationship with Aerith in order to save her, there should be concrete evidence of this in the Remaketrilogy thus far. If OG Cloud’s memories of and love for Aerith exist somewhere within Remake Cloud’s subconsciousness, then Remake Cloud should be far more active in the Clerith dynamic than OG Cloud was— after all, he’s supposed to know better this time around. Thankfully, the motif of handholding can help us evaluate this. Since we know pre-Remake Cloud was quite passive when it comes to handholding, Cloud initiating handholding in the Remake trilogy would be a strong indication that our theory has validity. Keeping this in mind, let’s see what we can find thus far in the Remake trilogy in relation to handholding, and if Cloud is indeed more active than he was in OG.
VI. a) ii. 1) Hollow Hands
Remake’s theme song “Hollow” makes allusions to the handholding motif: “This time, I will never let you go” is pretty clear. And so is “No Promises to Keep”, wherein Aerith speaks of Cloud “[taking her] hand and never [letting her] go” multiple times. Interestingly, these theme song lyrics seem to suggest that Cloud will be much more active in the Remake trilogy than in OG. “Hollow” even promises that Cloud will come to his senses and take charge of the situation: “this time, [he] will” be the one to offer his hand to Aerith, unlike in OG and Advent Children. This makes a lot of sense with our theory: now that Cloud has lost Aerith once, “this time for sure, [he]’ll” be the one to reach for Aerith’s hand, take initiative and save her the way she saved him.
Even though theme songs are extremely telling of a game’s main themes and intentions, lyrics are still all talk and no proof. What about the game itself? Do Remake and Rebirth deliver on this promise? Let’s see!
VI. a) ii. 2) Resolution Hands
The only significant time Cloud initiates handholding in Remake is during Cloud’s resolution scene in chapter 14 (5:18-5:40), wherein he tries to grab Aerith’s hand but is unable to keep her with him. He fills with determination and tells her in no uncertain terms that he’s coming for her. Just as we predicted, Cloud is the active participant in this iteration of the Clerith handholding motif: he’s even explicitly insisting against Aerith’s wishes that he should “get a say in all this” and that he’s “coming for [her]”. Let’s not forget that Cloud’s resolution is meant to reflect not only Aerith’s kidnapping by Shinra, but also her fated death. Nojima implied this by commenting the following on Aerith’s “Even if you think you have, it’s not real” line:

“Those who know what befalls Aerith later on will find the line really heart-wrenching” (FFVII Remake Ultimania, section 08 “Secrets”, “Development Staff Interviews, Part 2: Tetsuya Nomura, Yoshinori Kitase, Kazushige Nojima”, page 744).

Given this note by Nojima, it looks like we’re supposed to watch Cloud’s resolution scene with Aerith’s fated death in mind. Considering this, Cloud’s “I’m coming for you” line sure seems like an subconscious promise that he will save Aerith from her tragic fate. This subconscious promise could be the result of post-OG Cloud’s feelings and intentions rising to the surface. Nevertheless, he’s absolutely determined and he’s staying true to the promise he made in “Hollow”. I think it’s fair to say that this instance of the handholding Clerith motif does indeed fit perfectly with our theory. This is only one strong example though, and we need a pattern in order to pat ourselves on the back on this. So, let’s keep looking! There isn’t any handholding initiated by Cloud beyond that point in Remake. At this point in my research, I moved on to Rebirth to go digging for handholding there.
Hoo boy. I was not disappointed.
VI. a) ii. 3) Golden Hands
Let’s begin with the obvious. In their high-affinity gondola date in chapter 12, Cloud bravely interlaces his fingers with Aerith’s: Cloud’s taken charge not only of handholding, but the most intimate kind of handholding. I’m sure you’ve encountered the phrase “こいびとつなぎ” or “koibito tsunagi by now (literally translates to “lovers’ tie” or “lovers’ connection”); this is the term used in Japanese to refer to the type of handholding Cloud initiates with Aerith on the Skywheel. It’s considered the most intimate form of handholding. In Japan, skinship is normally considered quite significant and indicative of the closeness between two people— you could say it’s a big deal. Cloud also offers Aerith his hand when they step off the Shywheel, once more making the first move. Though some might say that the Skywheel dates shouldn’t be counted as canon, I believe Aerith’s date is indeed canon (I have my reasons but this post is long enough). Even if we discount the Skywheel date however, Clerith's use of the koibito tsunagi returns in a non-optional scene we will touch on later.
For what it’s worth, Alfreid offers Rosa his hand in the Loveless play too. I can prove that Aerith is the canon Rosa too, but I’m going to save that for my next analysis! You can take my word for it now, or just wait for that analysis to drop. Take it or leave it!
VI. a) ii. 4) Meta Hands
However, the narrative weight of these Clerith handholding instances doesn’t even come close to my very favorite iteration of the handholding motif in Rebirth. I’m referring to what I consider a severely underrated Clerith moment in chapter 13. First, some context: Sephiroth manipulates Cloud into giving over the Black Materia. Cloud seems to be firmly under Sephiroth’s control. However, the sight of Aerith being swarmed by Black Whispers snaps Cloud back into the driver’s seat: he breaks out of Sephiroth’s grasp to run to her and save her. Aerith gets knocked off into a fatal free-fall by a Black Whisper before Cloud can reach her, but he won’t have it: he lunges forward, hand extended. What results is a beautiful shot of their outstretched hands (56:25-56:27).
Let’s analyze this great shot. Notice how the seconds where Cloud is reaching downwards to grasp Aerith’s hand are treated. This key moment is stretched longer by a slow-mo effect, building up the tension and drawing the audience’s focus to the distance between their hands before Cloud actually catches Aerith’s in his, fulfilling the promise he made in “Hollow”. Their hands take up the whole screen in a deliberate close-up shot. All the ambient noises of the scene go quiet: Aerith’s theme is all we hear as Cloud reaches desperately for her. These are blatant audiovisual cues, signalling to the audience that whatever is happening on screen is especially significant. We should therefore examine this specific instance of the Clerith handholding motif to see what the devs are trying to tell us, and maybe it will fit with our theory!
We should begin by comparing this Clerith hand-reach shot to previous ones. If you compare it to the Advent Children’s hand-reach that occurs during Cloud’s battle against Bahamut Sin, it’s evident that Cloud and Aerith’s roles are reversed: just as our theory states, Cloud gets out from inside his head and reaches for Aerith this time. She saved him and the world in OG, and now it’s his turn to save her. This change becomes especially evident when you juxtapose the two scenes and notice how their hands have switched places, reaching from above and below, from left and right. I think the Rebirth hand-reach was deliberately made to look like the Advent Children one —and even the OG one in disk 3, chapter 3—, just to highlight this role reversal.
This Rebirth hand-reach is my favorite out of all because it shows that Cloud is much more conscious and attentive toward Aerith in Rebirth than he was in OG. At this point in OG (disk 1, chapter 25), Cloud is meant to be beating Aerith up at Sephiroth’s command, to the horror of the rest of the party. In fact, a few minutes before Cloud rushes to save Aerith in Rebirth, he has absolutely no problem violently shoving Tifa to the ground when she gets in Sephiroth’s way (53:27-53:33). This shove and Cloud’s earlier attack on Tifa in Gongaga (Rebirth, chapter 9) proves that Sephiroth is just as capable of making Cloud hurt his party members as he was in OG… though Sephiroth can’t seem to make Cloud hurt Aerith. Why is this? Why is it that Cloud beats Aerith in OG, but doesn’t even lay a finger on her —and snaps out of Sephiroth’s control at the mere sight of her in trouble— in Rebirth?
Our theory provides the answer. In disk 1, chapter 25 of OG, Cloud had not yet realized he loved Aerith. Sephiroth was therefore able to make him hurt her. But things are different in Rebirth. The Cloud we see in the Remake trilogy has gone through the OG timeline and traveled back in time, kicking off Remake as his second try at the OG timeline— and he did this precisely because he loves Aerith. His love for her is clearer and stronger in the Remake trilogy than in OG because Remake Cloud is an amnesiac, post-OG, time-traveler Cloud. He’s been through the OG before, has fallen in love with Aerith and realized it before, so this time around, he can’t even lay a finger on her. This is made evident by how closely the moments where Cloud pushes Tifa and saves Aerith are juxtaposed, separated by mere seconds of gameplay. Merely seeing Aerith in trouble wrenched control from Sephiroth and put it in Cloud’s hands again— Sephiroth probably couldn’t have gotten Cloud to attack Aerith if he tried.
This isn’t the only time we get evidence of this though! As Cloud approaches Aerith’s praying form in the Forgotten City, Sephiroth’s Black Whispers swirl around the buster sword: Sephiroth is trying to kill Aerith with it, while Cloud’s struggle to wrench it away plays out visibly on his face. Interestingly, Cloud is not being controlled by Sephiroth here. We know this because we can quite literally see the Black Whispers trying to move his sword, but also because every time Cloud is being controlled by Sephiroth in Rebirth, he has an empty-eyed, zombie-Cloud look on his face. Either that or he laughs or smiles somewhat maniacally. There is never any resistance on his part. To see an example, simply pay attention to Cloud’s blank face as he attacks Tifa in Gongaga in chapter 9 (19:20-20:30). You’ll see the very same expression on his face if you watch this video of Cloud following Sephiroth’s orders in chapter 13 (53:36-54:15). Additionally, look at how strangely Cloud smiles (41:01) as he grasps the Black Materia. Cloud makes none of these faces as the Black Whispers try to take control of his sword: quite the opposite. Cloud looks like he’s trying his hardest to pull his weapon back down and away from Aerith, a horrified look on his face as he grunts from the effort. Once more, Sephiroth is unable to make Cloud hurt Aerith.
Back to my favorite handholding moment. Think about this devs intention for this shot for a minute. The devs have been teasing us as to whether or not Cloud will succeed in saving Aerith in the Remake trilogy since it was first announced, and this slow-mo shot of Cloud catching Aerith’s hand as she falls to her death is a reflection of this tension. The audience holds their breath during those slow-moed seconds, all that hope and fear hanging in the balance. This instance of the handholding motif is a meta way for the devs to reassure us that Cloud will indeed save Aerith. I firmly believe this.
VI. a) ii. 5) Self-Sacrificing Hands
Alright, alright, enough about my favorite! Let’s move to chapter 14 of Rebirth! There’s evidently a lot going on with Clerith in this chapter. Let’s address the Sector 5 date. The handholding is first initiated by Aerith as she tugs him toward the candy vendor and Cloud reacts with a quiet gasp (4:07-4:17). Soon, it becomes a reciprocal embrace: Cloud holds his hand out for Aerith’s and tightens his fingers around hers, smiling at her before they head to the photographer (7:07-7:17).
Then of course, when Aerith pushes Cloud into a portal in her church, you can see Cloud reach his hand up toward her desperately as he falls (17:38-17:58). What I find particularly emotional about this moment is that Aerith pushing Cloud away from her is kind of the opposite of reaching for his hand: it symbolizes Aerith accepting her fate and giving up on a life where she can be with him. This Aerith seems to be a post-OG Aerith who exists separately from the main world we experience in Rebirth, meaning she knows all too well that her fate is to die. In fact, it looks like she is the very same or a similar Aerith to the one who appeared to Cloud in his resolution scene in Remake. By literally pushing Cloud away, just like she figuratively did in Cloud’s resolution scene, she is sacrificing both herself and the happiness she could share with Cloud. She’s going against her heart’s wishes, just like she did in Cloud’s resolution scene when she would not let Cloud take her hand. Indeed, post-OG Aerith seems to be resigned to her fated death and completely devoid of hope: she only wants to ensure the planet’s survival, because she thinks she knows there is no way she can or should be with Cloud. In contrast, Cloud reaches his hand out toward Aerith as he falls into the portal, and even though he does not know that her push symbolizes her self-sacrifice, his outstretched hand represents his protest. So far, our theory is fitting beautifully.
VI. a) ii. 6) Grieving Hands
Later in chapter 14 of Rebirth, after Aerith’s death/non-death, there is more handholding. As Cloud cradles Aerith’s body close to him at the Forgotten Capital, Aerith places her hand on his cheek. Cloud covers it with his, curling his fingers around it (1:03:33-1:03:53). Before he leaves her lying down on her back to go fight Sephiroth, he squeezes her hand as he tells her “I got this”— or, per the Japanese version, “Wait for me”, meaning he’ll reunite with her once he’s done (1:04:56-1:05:10).
VI. a) ii. 7) Hero-Heroine Hands
Next, the koibito tsunagi returns as Cloud and Aerith interlace fingers back to back in a classic hero-heroine pose, right after their two-versus-one fight against Sephiroth. This time, they both reach for each other simultaneously (7:42-8:18), without even having to look down at their hands or talk to each other, as though perfectly in sync. As you can see, Aerith and Cloud are now on the same page. This is different from post-OG Aerith’s attitude in the Sector 5 church earlier in chapter 14, as well as in Cloud’s resolution scene in Remake— my interpretation of this mutual koibito tsunagi is that both of them are agreeing to hold onto each other now, with neither of them pulling back or being inattentive of the other: their priorities are now the same. It seems now they are aligned, and hopefully this means that Aerith will be working together with Cloud so they can reunite again in part 3. Even if she doesn’t prioritize her life and happiness though, we know for sure Cloud will.
VI. b) Blocking Masamune Explained?
Another piece of evidence that Cloud has been through the events of OG before is the fact that he is able to block masamune. Cloud looks up and sees Sephiroth descending with his blade poised to kill Aerith. Screaming, Cloud instantly rips the buster sword from the Black Whispers’ hold and successfully blocks masamune. Hatred and determination fill his eyes as he rallies his strength and successfully pushes Sephiroth away, saving Aerith’s life (6:00-7:26)— at least, in one reality.
Obviously, something about Cloud is different in Rebirth from in OG, otherwise, the events of Rebirth’s chapter 14 would be the same as the events of OG’s disk 1 chapter 28. In my opinion, what happened here is that upon seeing Sephiroth swoop down with masamune, Cloud remembered Aerith’s death in OG, and the post-OG Cloud’s determination to stop it came surging up from within him. This is frankly the very best proof there is that Cloud is far more ready, stable, determined, and clear-headed about Aerith in the Remake trilogy than in OG. Our theory explains why! In fact, this very moment is what our entire theory banks on: Cloud saves Aerith in one reality, as is shown by the rainbow effect produced by the event, and just like that, the promise made in “Hollow” has been fulfilled! However, now we face the question of how to make sure that Aerith is alive and by Cloud’s side when the multiverse converges again into one protected timeline. I’m sure it will be done; we will see how in part 3.
VI. c) Theme Song Lyrics
What the theme songs’ texts have to say about the trilogy so far is quite important, as they summarize the feelings of the characters they represent: Cloud and Aerith. We can glean a lot from their perspectives that could help support the Mission Theory.
VI. d) i. “Hollow” Lyrics
“Hollow”, Remake’s theme song, was written about Cloud’s feelings and rumination. Nojima confirmed that, when he was given directives for the lyric-writing, “Nomura just gave [Nojima] the keywords: ‘told from Cloud's point of view’ and ‘standing in the rain’. [Nojima] interpreted that as ‘a ballad for a man who lost something/someone important’” (Nojima and Uematsu interview “‘I wanted to put the word ‘empty’ in the theme song of Remake. That was how it started’ - Music-Related Interview Part 6: Kazunari Nojima”, by Famitsu). Our theory is about Cloud’s motivations and mission to save Aerith, so “Hollow” is especially relevant.
Let’s run through the lyrics and analyze, starting with the song’s first verse:

“I would be lost, drifting along
Floating up high, time after time
And there you'd be, shining brightly
Your smiling face to guide my way
Bloody and bruised, brought to my knees
When beaten down, when broken up
You would appear, reach out to me
Heal every wound and make me whole”

Makes sense with our theory in mind, doesn’t it? This is post-OG Cloud remembering Aerith and what she means to him. “Hollow” seems to be told from the perspective of the post-OG Cloud hidden somewhere in Remake Cloud: a suppressed or eroded part of him that remembers Aerith clearly. Or maybe it’s told by Cloud after the events of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration and before the start of Remake, asserting his mission to save Aerith.
Next, here are the pre-choruses:

“Was it all, a dream? Will I never know?
Foolish and blind to everything
Had I realized, had I thought it through
Would you be here in my embrace?”

&

“With your every smile, hiding something more
Dark mysteries lurking beneath
But I was consumed with this emptiness
This selfishness, this void to fill”

(continued in

This is a follow-up post to my Two Year Update and One Year Update. For those who haven’t read it here’s a short summary of my first 2 Years

• First Month: Learning Kana with Apps like Duolingo and some basic vocab/grammar and figuring out if I actually like learning Japanese
• Month 2-3: Doing RRTK and watching Cure Dolly for Grammar on the Side
• Month 3-4: Core Anki Decks for Basic Vocab (Tango N5, Core Anime Deck)
• Month 4-6: Reading and Sentence Mining Satori Reader with extra cards from Anime via Morphman
• Month 6-9: Finished Satori Reader and moved on to Anime with Japanese Subtitles + Sentence Mining
• Month 9-12: Added Reading Novels to my Routine for about 1h a day. Continued with Anime for the rest of the time
• Month 13-24: Continued my Routine of reading books + watching Anime and doing Sentence Mining with Anki. I increased my reading to about 2-3h a day for a while and cut back on Anime

Stats

• 2646 Anime Episodes Watched (Year 1: 715, Year 2: 1428, Year 3: 503)
• 68 Movies Watched (Year 1: 19, Year 2: 28, Year 3: 21)
• 115 Novels Read (Year 1: 6, Year 2: 64, Year 3: 45)
• 20000 Anki Vocab Cards (Year 1: 6517 , Year 2: 8664, Year 3: 4819)
• 27520 Morphs (Year 1: 8204 , Year 2: 13650, Year 3: 5666)

I am not as diligent with tracking anymore, so some of it might be missing. My Anime watched and Books read has gone down quite a bit from last year, but I also played some Games in Japanese this year and watched a lot more Youtube/Variety Content. Although I didn’t track it, generally my daily time spent has gone down from 3-4h daily to around 2-3h nowadays.

Current Daily Routine

My Routine has not changed much from my second year, but I tried exploring more genres and media. With better comprehension and less reliance on lookups (thanks to Anki), I am able to enjoy media without subtitles or games where lookups are a bit more annoying, much more than before. I still aim for 2-3 hours of immersion daily, with books remaining the backbone of my immersion since I enjoy them the most. Recently, I’ve replaced my before-bed anime watching with reading books accompanied by audiobooks, thanks to tools like Jidoujisho and Kanjieaters’s SubsPlease tool for syncing audiobooks with books. I’ve also played more games in Japanese, a big highlight being the Metal Gear Solid Series. I’ve also watched more Youtube and Variety Shows as filler content.
In terms of Anki usage, my daily time has tapered off to around 10-15 minutes, primarily because I don’t find many new words anymore. Nowadays, around 90% of my new cards come from reading. When I’m reading challenging books, this number can jump up to around ~20 new cards, but on average, it hovers around 6.
Very recently I’ve also added about 5-10 mins of Minimal Pairs Pitch Training on the コツ Site to my Routine. I’ve only been doing this for about 2 Weeks, and I’m already noticing a big improvement in my Pitch perception. I still don’t have any ambitions regarding Output, but feel like being able to recognize Pitch unlocks a new way of perceiving the language, which I find fascinating.

What my Comprehension feels like

Reading Books

While my reading speed hasn't changed drastically, improving from about 12k chars/hour to around 13-14k chars/hour, the range of variation has decreased significantly. A year ago, my speed could drop to 9k chars/hour with difficult books; now, 12k chars/hour is more of a baseline for me. But my comprehension is where I feel the most improvement, I don’t need to check DeepL at all anymore, if I don’t understand a sentence, I can most of the time understand it when I read it again. And there are a lot more nuances, I now notice which I didn’t before. I noticed this the most in my reread of また同じ夢を見ていた which was my first book I read in Japanese, after rereading it, ~100 books later, I noticed a lot of new nuances, subtext and word play.
I also started using more Audiobooks, in combination with SubsPlease and Jidoujisho to get a synced Subtitle file with the Audiobook. I read along while listening, and my comprehension got fast enough that I generally can just let it play, only occasionally needing to relisten to a line. Even for more difficult books, like 鹿の王 which I recently read. I also read a physical Book this year. If the book is not too hard, I’m now comfortable reading it without a dictionary. The one I read had about 20 words I didn't know, but I only felt the need to look up 2-3. I was able to get the meaning from the others based on context and kanji.

Watching Content with Japanese Subtitles

I felt pretty strong in this area a year ago already, but it has definitely improved a lot also. I noticed this the most when I played the Metal Gear Solid Series. All dialogue does have subtitles, but the content is quite difficult both on a vocabulary level and also on a meaning level, since they are dealing with deep themes a lot of the time. But I was able to play it mostly free flow, only needing to look up a word here or there, getting most of the meaning from the kanji if I didn’t know a word.

Watching Content without Japanese Subtitles

Ironically even though I never intentionally did pure listening practice, always using Japanese subtitles if they were available, I’m noticing the most progress in this area. A year ago, I was not comfortable with most non-subtitled content. Nowadays I would say, easier content like most youtube videos or variety shows, I’m quite comfortable with, although I definitely still miss much more compared to using subtitles. But with Anime or Movies in general, where I’m also much more picky in my comprehension, since I don’t want to miss anything, I’m still not comfortable watching without subtitles I feel like in scripted content people are more likely to use rare words, and even if I technically “know” them, it's still often hard for me to recall them without seeing the characters. But as with all things, that will work itself out with more input. I’m glad my theory from my 1 Year Update, that doing pure listening practice is not needed and using subtitles does not impede progress in listening, turned out true for me.

Closing Thoughts

Although I was able to do all the things I can do now a year ago, I feel like I can do them much more effortlessly. Consuming Japanese is now much closer to English or my native language German, although it’s still not quite there. Both in terms of listening, I usually listen to Youtube videos in English at 2.5x speed, that's not possible for me in Japanese at the moment. Similarly, despite doing a lot of reading, there’s still a lot of room to improve to reach native-level speed.
But it doesn’t feel like learning anymore; it’s more about enjoying the exploration of a new culture through its media. I still love learning new things, which is why I started focusing more on pitch, even though I still have no plans for output.
Adding to my Closing Thoughts from my 2 Year Update, I still feel like this hobby has been the most enriching thing I’ve ever done. Being able to get better at something, feeling the progress gradually, while exploring new ways of thinking, not just through the language itself, but also the vastly different media compared to western media, really broadened my horizon. I feel like learning to appreciate and understand what the media is trying to say is also in a way like learning a language. It got me to read books or try out new genres I probably would have never considered otherwise. For example the Metal Gear Series got me interested in history, which I didn't think I liked before. I also learned a lot about learning new things. I think I can apply all the techniques I discovered learning Japanese to any other skill I want to learn in the future. Being consistent on a daily basis and always practising the same way you would in a real scenario would be the biggest factors for me. (For example, no JLPT grammar questions, rather seeing, looking up and understanding the grammar in native content)
I very much look forward to how my Journey will continue in my 4th year. Thank you for reading!

I started this timeline with a few main dates in my last post, then it became this big garbage fire of madness. For the foreseeable future, I will edit this with relevant updates. Feel free to call out any additions in the comments. 🚩 Trigger warning note: At this point, Brittany is a walking red flag. Please be mindful before proceeding if you have triggers for the themes mentioned in the title.

The Timeline

• ⁠1/30: Brittany announces they’re officially doing IUI, which she learned after her “WOMEN’S WELLNESS EXAM.” Lmao so you got a referral to a specialist? https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/DhUvDfPPRL
• 2/15, give or take a few days: got a call from adoption agency right after her alleged 3 hour long FIRST FERTILITY APPOINTMENT
• ⁠2/22: says “a week ago today” (↑) they had their first fertility appointment and got some good news and some bad news, but “everything looks great” for Britt. An adoption agency called her that same day. https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/rWCMuAjt4b
• ⁠3/11-3/14: first adoption announcements. Niko the Pitbull is found at a dumping ground in Texas while they’re in Breckenridge doing glamour shots. https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/3GDuz1Kp8n … meanwhile, Britt announces that she’s “paper pregnant” 😑 to her friends while in CO, and shows them an image of a sonogram. https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/pcVlvUjb2B
• ⁠3/14: before leaving Breckenridge, Brittany and Jordan film a video about their fertility journey being hard on their marriage, and they start hinting at male factor infertility. https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/EWohGKXcP7
• 3/24: at BDong’s bday party; she announces her adoption (of a not-yet-born baby girl) to more people via gifting a sonogram that isn’t her own https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/sutRZIeRu4
• ⁠3/25: she posts the “Jordan opens up” video that was filmed in Breck https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/EWohGKXcP7
• 3/30: Brittany hams it up with the empty nursery content. “yEs We HaVe aN EmPtY nUrSeRy. YEs iTs iN FaiTh tHaT wE wiLL oNe DaY bE ParEnTs” https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/2RfpXq9Vdz
• ⁠4/1: Jordan hangs out in the nursery to journal for some ~unknown~ future faith baby. https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/l2zBGvJt0x
• 4/2: a car seat appears, further supporting the home study occurring around this time https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/Kgdpi9mpRB
• 4/3: Britt posts a slideshow of texts from jordan reminding her to eat, including one that shows a triple text from Brittany and his response, “I’m sorry sweetheart. I believe you.” https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/1lfGXhjPju
• ⁠4/5: Home Study? It appears they had the home study for adoption on this day based on her outfit. They shot the parking garage adoption announcement this morning, then B had breakfast with Hannah Rosie. It also appears B told her Hazel & Layne cronies on this day that she was matched with a birth mom “a week ago.” (She’s wearing the same taupe bodysuit outfit in all the videos from this day, as shown here https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/h2yJ6oAJeG)
• ⁠4/6: The pick me chicks appear to be fighting. Farryn and Kellie post stories together about how REAL friends show up, have difficult conversations, and don’t use “christianese” https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/0NVaPbkWu2
• 4/6 baby mirror spotted in car https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/iWqPtPYuVo … selling the graco because we gOt a NuuuUuUunAaaa https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/DhH3wphsjT
• ⁠4/7: Brittany cries for the camera because God had the audacity to not give her a baby yet. (Crying selfie w/ caption about “TTC emotions”) https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/OGgOMdnLBS
• ⁠4/7: Brittany posts about how she thought she would have a baby by her 33rd bday, but all she has is “unexplained infertility.” HUH? That’s not the same as male factor infertility. https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/LishlaLlZe
• 4/10: car seat has been removed, further supporting the home study time frame being between 4/2 and 4/10 https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/gUryPMByIy
• 4/11: the girlies are back and drinking Sonic from styrofoam cups because ~non toxic living~ amiriteeee?! https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/nTqcC1lvZT
• 4/16: she can’t wait for Harley to be her “daughter’s” horse one day. Can’t wait to “watch my little girl bond” with this horse https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/nBliYMm6PM
• 4/25 good news from the fertility specialist because BritBrat is God’s favorite. After running more tests on Jordan, they’re suddenly “good to go now.” They will be pursuing IUI. Britt states in this video that jordan initially was found to have “0% sperm.” https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/pW0mbEXtIs + https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/bIgSeOhHGt
• 4/29 last blood work before starting IUI https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/86u862Y1n5
• ⁠4/30 public adoption YewTewbb announcement: they’re “flip flopping” and adopting! On IG, she posts the parking garage adoption announcement pics from 4/5 https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/juSs39NECv
• 5/2: posts on YouTube that “things are moving fast” in TTC land… “Jordan’s tests came back great and we’re still moving forward with IUI.” Brittany and Jordan are preparing their bodies for IUI… she says she doesn’t know if this adoption will go through, or maybe it will, and maybe they’ll get pregnant and adopt at the same time… OR MAYBE THEY’LL DO EMBRYO ADOPTION?! https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/bwaoKMfCzM
• ⁠5/15: Posts the family/friends adoption announcement compilation. At 3:15, Brittany tells her associate (?) Caitlin that it’s all thanks to her, as she was matched through the agency she [recommended]. https://www.reddit.com/brittanydawnsnark/s/pcVlvUjb2B

Recently I played this freely improvised drum intro to a song of my band ELMO NERO. I tried to keep it melodic and incorporate concepts I like (for example hands play melody over foot ostinato)
Feel free to check it out and tell me what you think.
Much love, Max

(continuation of part 3)
Since Fatal Calling is all about Cloud facing his past and his origins, Tifa’s musical theme is most appropriate for the ending cutscene. For all of these reasons, Tifa’s theme is absolutely appropriate for the conclusion of Fatal Calling. It makes a lot of sense then that once Cloud has finished revisiting the past and vanishes with the crystal to find his Promised Land, Tifa’s theme stops and Aerith’s theme begins.
There’s a lot to be said about Sephiroth in Fatal Calling. Sephiroth feeds off of despair, and deems Palamecia’s suffering inadequate: he seeks a much greater source of power than this realm. He states that Palamecia isn’t “the world that was promised to [him]”, referencing his desire to become the god of his core world of FFVII:

“Sephiroth: Melding with the planet, I will cease to exist as I am now only to be reborn as a ‘god’ to rule over every soul” (FFVII OG, disk 1, chapter 25).

Sephiroth’s line “Now, let us return [Cloud]. Back to the Promised Land” reveals he wants to return to their shared core world of FFVII, like we established in our review of the Remake timelines theory (see section “I. a) vii.”). Sephiroth wants to go back to FFVII and modify the OG timeline to achieve his evil goals. This is his ideal scenario, his place of complete happiness: his desired Promised Land. Fatal Calling is setting up Sephiroth’s plans for Remake. In fact, the after-credits scene wherein Sephiroth stands in Nibelheim as it burns confirms his return to the FFVII OG timeline.
However, he isn’t the only one returning. Now that Cloud has revisited his past in Fatal Calling, he’s ready to reach his Promised Land. After Sephiroth’s after-credits scene, the OG FFVII title and logo turn into the FFVII Remake title and logo, indicating a shift: we are now officially in the Remakeera or world. Cloud and Sephiroth disappeared at the end of Fatal Calling, and now the game is telling us where they’ve gone. Combined with Hamaguchi’s recommendation that players complete the collaboration event before playing Remake, I think this is a solid indication that the Cloud and Sephiroth we see in this collaboration event are those we encounter in the Remake world. Once the switch to Remake occurs, Aerith’s theme returns. This communicates that she is indeed —as we’ve proven countless times already— Cloud’s Promised Land. But it also conveys her importance to the story of Remake. Scenario writer Nojima confirmed this:

“Aerith's the most important character in the remake so we paid special attention to her lines” (FFVII Remake Ultimania, section 08 “Secrets”, “Development Staff Interviews, Part 2: Tetsuya Nomura, Yoshinori Kitase, Kazushige Nojima”, page 744).

Aerith was already important to OG, so what could’ve motivated Nojima to state her importance to Remake? Could it be that she’s even more important in the latter than she was in the former? In what way?
That was the collaboration! Before we move on from MFF x FFVII Remake entirely though, let’s glean some more relevant information from some of the collaboration’s promotional material and special features.
III. e) iii. Promotional Material and Special Features
Two particular pieces of promotional material for this collaboration stick out to me as extremely relevant. The first is a promotion for a new summons batch in the Mobius FF game, created in honor of the collaboration.
MFF x FFVII Remake Summons Batch Cloud Promo
The summons batch contains three FFVII Remake-themed cards, including a Cloud card. As you can see, this promo reads “Who awaits in the Promised Land?” under Cloud’s picture.
The second is a promotion of an Aerith and summons and an Aerith Job Card (in MFF, Job Cards allow a character to embody an archetype or another character, giving them certain physical traits, clothing, weapons and abilities):
MFF x FFVII Remake Aerith Summons and Job Card Promo
I couldn’t find this picture in English, but the text relevant to us translates to:

“Midgar's Flower Vendor Summons
‘I'm searching for you. I want to meet… you.’
The witch protects the planet, imbues it with power, and leads to the Promised Land.”

A few things here. First, Aerith is referenced by name, and we see a picture of her in her famous praying pose. Secondly, both Cloud and Aerith’s images are attached to the notion of the Promised Land. Cloud’s card asks who awaits there, and Aerith’s evokes a guiding role, as though in response. Thirdly, both Cloud and Aerith are attached to the notion of searching: Cloud searches for the Promised Land and whomever awaits there, and Aerith searches for Cloud’s true self. Speaking of which, the promo also includes parts of Aerith’s famous gondola date quote from OG:

“Aeris: I'm searching for you.
Cloud: …?
Aeris: I want to meet you.
Cloud: But I'm right here.
Aeris: I know, I know... what I mean is... I want to meet... you” (disk 1 chapter 24).

In case you’re wondering about the lady in Aerith’s clothes on the left-hand side, that’s Meia, a character in MFF. She is the “witch” being referred to in the promotional material. She’s often called the Azure Witch. Meia is wearing Aerith’s clothes because a Meia-type Job Card called “Flower Girl of Midgar” was created in honor of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration:
MFF x FFVII Remake \"Flower Girl of Midgar\" Job Card
There’s even an Aerith outfit you can have Echo wear, and it appears with Wol’s Cloud outfit in the promotional picture:
MFF x FFVII Remake Echo's Aerith Outfit and Wol's Cloud Outfit
To be fair, Tifa also appears in one of these summons promos. However, unlike Aerith’s, her appearance doesn’t reference the Promised Land or her version of the gondola date. She is not presented in connection to Cloud at all. On top of that, while the Aerith and Cloud outfits are promoted together, Tifa is paired with Vincent in the promotional image:
MFF x FFVII Remake Summons Promo Tifa and Vincent
This is hardly indicative of Cloti content in the event collaboration or in Remake.
III. e) iv. Cloud’s Promised Land
All in all, the collaboration tells the story of Cloud searching for his Promised Land, just as post-OG Cloud has been shown doing for years and years of canon SE content. Cloud is searching for Aerith in the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration, just like he was in FFT and DFF, and just like he was shown doing in the 30th FF Anniversary Exposition. This is nothing new. However, the collaboration informs us that this mission to be reunited with Aerith is what leads Cloud to enter the world of Remake.
Echo noted that people obtain the Promised Land they deserve rather than the one they want. What does Cloud deserve? I believe the answer is: another chance at saving Aerith.
Cloud needs to start over, from the top. He needs to go back to the very moment he and Avalanche arrived at mako reactor 1 to bomb it. He needs to return to the beginning of the OG game. He needs a redo, a fix-it, another shot at happiness; a remake.

IV. The Hidden Plot Point: Mission Theory

a) Thesis
Here lies the heart of my theory. My dear Cleriths, Sephiroth isn’t the only one who travelled back in time to undo destiny and create a reality where things go his way: Remake is also —I would even say primarily— Cloud’s chance to free Aerith from her fate, save her life and secure his shot at happiness with her. That’s why he experiences MOTFs in Remake: he’s done FFVII before and now he’s back, although with only fragments of his memories from OG, to save Aerith. That’s why his triggers all involve Aerith: he doesn’t consciously remember anything from OG, but his grief over Aerith is so strong that it rises from his subconsciousness at the slightest trigger.
In Remake, Cloud remembers some but not all elements of the OG timeline (MOTFs), and it appears he only remembers the most important things: all his MOTFs revolve around Aerith and her fate. Our theory explains why Aerith triggers Cloud’s MOTFs in Remake quite perfectly: he traveled back in time to prevent Aerith’s death from happening. Remake Cloud remembers Aerith because, well, he knows her from OG. Post-OG Cloud has returned to the past to save Aerith, resulting in Remake. This is why seeing her in Remake triggers visions and memories of things that haven’t happened yet in Remake, but have already happened to post-OG Cloud. He recognizes her face on Loveless in Remake because seeing her face again is the whole reason he entered Remake in the first place. His visions of her death when they meet once more at the church, the spike of anxiety and grief as he watches her walk away from him, the constriction in his chest when she talks about doing everything in her power to help the planet… all of it, it’s all his memories of OG being jogged by things related to her death. What he’s forgotten from the OG timeline emerges in flashes of pain, images, memory and emotion. Remember that the language the devs used to describe these instances where Cloud reacts to Aerith in this way is always about “remembering” or “recognizing”; Cloud has to have seen Aerith, known Aerith, loved Aerith, lost Aerith and felt the pain of living without Aerith before in order to recognize and remember these feelings. Think about it: this is the only thing that can explain Cloud’s extremely selective MOTFs and the fact that he has MOTFs at all.
The Remake trilogy is all about Cloud and Sephiroth stepping into the ring one more time, both ready to risk it all to get what they lost in the OG timeline. Sephiroth is hungry for destruction and godhood, while Cloud stands determined to save the love of his life. Fighting for their respective goals, the fated enemies enter a new battle in Remake, one to end the war, both needing to win this time after losing so horribly in OG. Now, it’s all or nothing. Sephiroth vying for the planet, and Cloud reaching out for Aerith.
Cloud’s back with a quest, one he can’t fail— it’s the most secret and important plot point of all. I call this the “Mission Theory”.
IV. b) Mission Theory Logistics
There are a few things that remain vague, so I’m going to use this section of the analysis to speculate on the logistics of my theory. We know very little about the hows of the timeline and multiverse shenanigans, so I’m going to hypothesize. However, this analysis is about the whys: so if you’re not interested in mechanical speculation on the logistics of time travel and multiverses, you can totally disregard this section and skip to section “V.”.
IV. b) i. Cloud the Time-Traveler?
It’s unclear whether Remake is the result of post-OG Cloud going back in time to try his hand at the OG timeline again, or the result of post-OG Cloud somehow informing OG Cloud that he must save Aerith this time around. It’s vague in the same way that we aren’t sure if Remake Aerith is post-OG Aerith or if she’s been informed by post-OG Aerith via her connection to the Lifestream as a Cetra. Though it doesn’t much matter how Cloud has memories of Aerith’s death in Remake, I personally think that Remake Cloud is a time-traveling post-OG Cloud. My explanation as to why might be a little confusing, so again, feel free to skip to section “V.”.
One must be able to communicate with the Lifestream in order to obtain knowledge of the future. This access can only be granted to the Cetra or to the souls of the deceased that compose the Lifestream itself. Since Cloud is not a Cetra, he cannot commune with the Lifestream while he is alive, meaning a deceased post-OG Cloud would not have been able to communicate his memories of the OG plot-line with a living OG Cloud. Therefore, the only way Remake Cloud could have knowledge of the future (manifested as MOTFs) would be that Remake Cloud is inhabited by his post-OG consciousness. Effectively, this is time-traveling.
Then comes the question of how Cloud was able to time-travel at all. I have what I consider a pretty solid hypothesis. The most interesting thing about the realm of Palamecia is that every FF character that’s ever appeared in the realm for a cameo died in their core world beforehand (spoilers for FFI, FFV, FFVI, FFX, FFXII, FFXIII, FFXV incoming). These characters include Tidus (FFX), Lightning (FFXIII), Garland (FFI), Sephiroth (FFVII), Gilgamesh (FFV), Vargas (FFVI), Gabranth (FFXII) and Ultros (FFXV). My interpretation of Palamecia serves at least partly as a directory for deceased souls that can’t simply fade. For instance, FFX’s Tidus actually came back to life to be with his love>! Yuna !! FFX!<. Of course, MFF x>! FFX !!FFX!< and FFX-2, just like MFF x FFVII Remake came out between FFVII OG and FFVII. And similarly to Fatal Calling, the ending cutscene of MFF x>! FFX !!Next thing you know, FFX-2 comes out and shows Tidus returning to Yuna and their core world in an optional cutscene.!< The MFF x>! FFX !! Tidus !Remake.
IV. b) ii. Post-OG Cloud’s Amnesia
If we consider that Remake Cloud is a time-travelling post-OG Cloud who’s returned to the start of the OG timeline, we encounter another logistical problem: why doesn’t Cloud remember everything or most things from the OG plot-line in Remake, like Sephiroth and Remake Aerith do? After all, aren’t the three of them in the same time-travelling boat? Why isn’t Cloud as lucid on the matter as the two others? Didn’t the post-OG Cloud in Fatal Calling face his past and origins? Shouldn’t that mean Cloud would remember all that stuff in Remake from the start?
In OG, the true Cloud’s memories are repressed by both his false persona and Jenova. The latter’s memetic abilities are able to block Cloud’s memories of the past from emerging and conflicting with his SOLDIER persona. For instance, in both OG and Remake, Cloud is unable to hear Aerith tell him Zack’s name in Evergreen Park: Jenova blocks it out. I think this is a similar situation: post-OG Cloud’s consciousness carries memories things that Jenova doesn’t want Cloud to know, so she pushes down on them. On top of that, after travelling through different worlds and back through the Lifestream for who knows how long, post-OG Cloud’s consciousness must be quite weak. We know how good Cloud is at repressing, so it makes total sense to me that post-OG Cloud’s consciousness would be trapped or suppressed somewhere deep in Remake Cloud’s subconsciousness. After all, it’s not like this whole time-travelling-consciousness thing is normal for a mind to experience. It’s no wonder Remake Cloud doesn’t consciously remember how things go in OG. However, post-OG Cloud’s love and grief for Aerith are so strong that memories related to her can occasionally pierce through to his Remake consciousness and Jenova’s barriers, resulting in his MOTFs. His pain and love for her are definitely permanent and strong enough:

“A young woman descended from the Ancients who will forever be engraved in [Cloud’s] heart” (Dirge of Cerberus, Japanese manual, Aerith’s character description).
“I believe for those who formerly traveled with her as comrades and for the viewers, each carries their own feelings and love for Aerith. In this story, Cloud also carries his own undying feelings for Aerith, even to this very day… Its relation with the church scene is… Yup. I’ll leave this part to your imagination. (laughs)” (Nomura interview on Advent Children “Designer’s Note” in *Famitsu PS2!*magazine, October 24th issue).

So you see, Remake Cloud’s mind is a little more complicated than OG Cloud’s mind. Everything is still the same in Remake as in OG, but with the added complication that his future self is hidden in his subconscious mind, probably trying to get out.
There is actually pretty good evidence of this. I’m sure you’re aware that whenever Jenova is trying to hide something from Cloud or altering his memory and/or perception, the screen glitches green with an audio cue (34:15-34:29, 1:15:30-1:15:41 and 1:17:14-1:17:29). Guess what? These Jenova audiovisual cues also occur during the MOTFs (ie: MOTF 3 2:58-3:07 and MOTF 4 0:29-0:42). Whenever post-OG Cloud’s consciousness encounters anything that reminds it of losing Aerith, the strength of its pain helps it push memories of Aerith to the surface so that RemakeCloud can consciously see them. Remake Cloud then experiences sensations and/or visions, all from his future self’s memories as they rise to the surface, propelled by grief. Jenova can’t allow Remake Cloud to fully recover his post-OG memory, so in order to shut down the process, its cells jump in to repress the MOTFs: this results in the classic Jenova audiovisual cues. The only time Jenova doesn’t bother to fight against a MOTF is the sixth, as it is quite weak: no visions occur, only a tight sensation in his chest.
IV. b) iii. Eclipse Contact and Cloud’s Memories of Reactor 1
There is one problem I have trouble decoding. In Eclipse Contact, Cloud tells Wol and Echo that the last thing he remembers is the run-up to his arrival at mako reactor 1 (FFVII OG, disk 1, chapter 1). Recall that usually, people summoned to Palamecia have no memories of their world of origin and lives before that point at all. So then why is it that upon being summoned to Palamecia, Cloud recalls the events that took place right before the start of the OG game? This strikes me as highly relevant since this is the exact point in time where post-OG Cloud’s consciousness needs to be transported to in order for Remake to begin, but I haven’t been able to figure out a solid hypothesis on what it could mean. My best guess is that this is the devs’ way of signalling to us that the events of the MFF x FFVII Remake collaboration occur before the very beginning of post-OG Cloud’s second try at the OG timeline (Remake).
Now that I’ve shown you how I’ve come to form my Mission Theory and we’ve done some pesky housekeeping, let’s connect some dots, shall we? It’s time to really get into it and see if any of my wild speculation tracks with content from the Remake trilogy so far.

V. Musical Evidence

What about the music of the game? Any hints there? Let’s try to see if we can find support for the Mission Theory in the music made for the Remake trilogy thus far!
As a preface to my musical evidence analysis, I want to insist on something: the story guys tell the soundtrack guys everything. In a high-quality production such as Remake, people who make music for audiovisual media are told everything in advance. They need to know the secrets of every little scene, because their job is to depict whatever is happening through music.
Therefore, if the Mission Theory is true, then there has to be musical evidence for it.
V. a) Preface: The Basics of the FFVII OST
There’s a lot of evidence in the music of the Remake trilogy that we have to address, but before we get into it, I do have to give you the basics of the FFVII soundscape! For the easiest experience, I suggest you keep a tab open for every link I provide for you until the music analysis is over, because we will be hopping from one musical theme to another and then back again.
V. a) i. The World Theme: Cloud’s Troubled Identity
The world theme of FFVII is a perfect example of how musicians working on an OST have to know the secrets of a story as they compose for it. On top of representing the FFVII world as a whole, it doubles as Cloud’s character theme… except that isn’t exactly right. You see, this piece does indeed contain Cloud’s true theme, but Sephiroth and Jenova’s musical motifs also contaminate it. This, of course, symbolizes how Cloud experiences identity sabotage because of these two antagonists. The result is that globally, the world theme does indeed represent Cloud’s character, but it isn’t exclusively Cloud’s in the same way that Cloud’s mind isn’t exclusively his. It’s brilliant storytelling through musical motifs, and evidently requires Uematsu to know in advance that Sephiroth manipulates Cloud’s identity in the story.
For future reference, let’s isolate Cloud’s true theme from Jenova and Sephiroth’s influence.
V. a) i. 1) Sephiroth: Dissonance and Semi-Tone Motif
I’m sure you know Sephiroth’s infamous theme: “One-Winged Angel”. The first motif we need to know is Sephiroth’s threatening, repetitive dissonance motif, which plays all throughout the piece (plays solo at 0:00 to 0:04). The second motif is what I call the semi-tone motif. “One-Winged Angel” has a ton of minor 2nd intervals, which is what we call the relationship between two notes that are only a semi-tone apart. You might recognize the minor 2nd interval in the foreboding Jaws theme. Just like in Jaws, the minor 2nd interval or semi-tone is commonly used to indicate an impending, life-threatening danger, a monster, predator, evil, or insanity; suits Sephiroth quite nicely!
V. a) i. 2) Jenova: Parasite Motif
The track “J-E-N-O-V-A” contains many competing melodies and has generated many variations of those melodies —almost like clones— that all represent aspects of the alien’s character. The main Jenova motif is simply a descending, two-octaves-long, arpeggiated mb6 chord (eight notes total). I’ve played it for you here. Sometimes, this motif is altered to form variations. For instance, in “Listen to the Cries of the Planet”, a variation of Jenova’s main motif is created by changing the order of the notes and reducing the number of notes to only six (0:00-0:03), however, it remains an arpeggiated mb6 chord. Regardless of the alteration, if you hear an arpeggiated mb6 chord, it means Jenova is creeping close by or that its influence is at work.
The variation of the mb6 arpeggiated chord that concerns us alters Jenova’s main theme so it ascends from the tonic to the b6 note and descends back to the tonic, then ending on the lower dominant for a total of eight notes. I’ve played it for you here. I call this variation the “parasite motif”, because it is often heard when Cloud is being controlled by Jenova. For instance, it plays when Cloud loses himself and becomes unusually violent in Rebirth’s chapter 13 (17:25-18:34), signalling to us that Jenova is in control. It is also the main motif of the track “Who… Am I?”, which evidently symbolizes Jenova’s fuelling of Cloud’s identity crisis— though here, the parasite motif is shortened to its six first notes.
V. a) i. 3) Cloud’s True Self
Now that we can recognize Sephiroth and Jenova’s motifs, let’s return to the world theme to isolate Cloud’s true self. Cloud’s true theme can be heard from 0:51 to 3:48. It consists of a section A (0:51-1:54), followed by a section B (1:54-2:41), and then returns to section A (2:41-3:48).
After Cloud’s true theme concludes however, it seems he experiences a psychic interference: doubt and confusion weave through the world theme (3:48-4:09), representing an instability in his identity. I call this interruption of Cloud’s true theme the “interference section”. It symbolizes a moment of psychic interference or weakness within Cloud that Sephiroth and Jenova take advantage of to take control of Cloud.
The end of the interference section introduces Jenova’s parasite motif. It slithers in (4:09), later joined by Sephiroth’s dissonance motif (4:16): Cloud’s mind and identity are being hijacked by the two antagonists in service of their evil plans.
They torment Cloud, dominating his mind until he manages to free himself: section A of Cloud’s true theme begins playing again (6:06), closing the loop of the theme.
Based on this musical storytelling, if you already knew the character motifs going into OG, you might’ve suspected something odd was going on with Cloud’s identity, and that Jenova and Sephiroth were involved. All this to say that whatever music is playing at any given time can give us hints as to what is going on. That’s the power and significance of a good soundtrack. Trust me when I say that with Uematsu and his team, we’re in excellent hands. And remember: the story guys tell the soundtrack guys everything.
V. a) ii. Aerith’s Theme
Another base we have to cover before checking out the Remake soundtrack is Aerith’s theme. I’m sure everyone here is familiar with it, but I insist that you refresh your memory. It consists of a section A (0:00-0:34), a section B (0:34-1:13) and a section C (1:13-2:00), concluding with a repeat of section A.
V. a) iii. Motifs and Timing in FFVII OSTs
I’m going to analyze pieces in great detail, which people who haven’t studied or paid attention to soundtracks may find strange. To prevent anyone from making the mistake of thinking that I’m reading too much into things, I want to emphasize that the music that plays during the Remaketrilogy’s cutscenes is carefully timed, composed and arranged to match the events in the cutscenes, as they are provided in advance to the musicians. Composers pay lots of attention to whatever is going on onscreen so they can include the corresponding musical motifs as accompaniment at the exact right moments, always striving to get the timing perfect. I’m not exaggerating the effort and minutia involved in soundtrack composition and arrangement. Here are just a few sound staff comments from the “Material 4: Soundtrack” section of the FFVII Remake Material Ultimania to prove it:

“[To] make sure players really feel the weight of the moment, we worked hard on getting the tempo and the entry timing of each instrument exactly right. In particular, that big ‘boom’ that sounds almost like a meteor crashing down was fine-tuned to match the timing of the logo's appearance. I remember this was a real sticking point for us, because if the boom's timing was even slightly off, the effect would be completely different. We […] had to sequence [each and every sound] to play at exactly the right moment” (Shotaro Shima on track “Midgar, City of Mako”, page 229).

&

“I was originally told to keep this piece to under two minutes, but it ended up being over six minutes long, in order to match the flow of the cutscene. I arranged the track while watching the latest CG visuals that had been rendered for the scene” (Naoyuki Honzawa on track “Smash ‘Em, Rip ‘Em”, page 309).

&

“This is the track that plays during the tour of Shinra’s different divisions. The movie shown in the Visual Entertainment Hall describes the history of the Ancients (0:25 onward in the soundtrack version), and I wanted to create a musical link to them as well, so I made use of the chord progression from ‘Aerith’s Theme’ [D(I)-Am(Vm)-D(I).] [This simple sequence of moving from major to minor and back again creates a really mysterious air. Then, during the section where the movie recounts the history of the construction of the Shinra Building (1:47 onward in the soundtrack version), I quoted a section of the Shinra theme” (Yasunori Nishiki on track “Stewards of the Planet”, page 313).

V. b) The Remake OST
Now that you’re ready, it’s time to verify the Mission Theory’s validity with Remake’s music.
V. b) i. MOTF 6 Music
We were able to explain Remake Cloud’s MOTFs with the Mission Theory, and it just so happens that the music that plays during the scene of MOTF 6 is unique to Remake. This gives us the perfect opportunity: we should analyze the piece that plays as it occurs to evaluate the legitimacy of our theory on the Remake trilogy, using all the motifs we uncovered in section “V. a)”.
First, a refresher on the scene and on our theory’s interpretation of it. The party is gathered in Aerith and Ifalna’s old room at Shinra HQ. Here is how the scene is described by the VA script notes:

“The Whispers once again close in [on Aerith], but Aerith refuses to stop speaking this time.
Aerith: Listen to me. […] Shinra isn’t the enemy. They were the ones who set things in motion, but our true foe is someone else.
At that moment, the spectacle of Meteor they saw in the Visual Entertainment Hall comes into Cloud and the others’ heads.
Aerith: Somehow, some way, I want to help— all of you… the planet…
For some reason, Cloud feels his chest constrict tightly” (FFVII Remake Material Ultimania Plus, VA script notes, “Aerith Speaks”).

Indeed, right after Aerith says she wants to help the planet any way she can, Cloud looks down at his chest with a frown and a quiet grunt (7:46-7:54). According to the Mission Theory, this tightness in Cloud’s chest can be explained as an emergence of post-OG Cloud’s grief, triggered by the slightest allusion to Aerith’s sacrifice.
The piece that plays during this scene is called “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra”. It is one of many variations of Aerith’s iconic theme arranged for Remake. However, Cloud’s theme is just as prominent in the piece— if not, more.
V. b) i. 1) The Fate Motif
Before we interpret “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra”, I need to introduce you to one more motif that crops up in the piece. There is a windy motif that appears (from 1:45 onwards) and it is unaccounted for, despite how it’s clearly meant to represent something. I’ve become certain that this wind noise symbolizes fate, and I’ll tell you why.
In the MOTF 6 scene, just after Nanaki explains how he gained knowledge of the Whispers via contact with Aerith (7:23), they emerge and begin swirling aggressively around Aerith (7:26). Her hair and dress blow and ripple in the resulting wind. From this very moment onward “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” (3:00), a string section (bowed instruments in the violin family) that deliberately emphasizes the airy sound of the bow crossing the strings enters, creating a windy effect that adds to the already present wind noise (that started at 1:45). As the Whispers progressively become even more aggressive onscreen, both the wind SFX of the cutscene and the wind noise in the piece get louder and louder. Because of the timing of its appearance and crescendo in the cutscene, I’m certain the wind noise is meant to represent the restrictive flow of fate; it only makes sense, given that destiny is a current —or a wind— that cannot be broken, and Aerith is like a helpless petal in fate’s carefully planned storm. Of course, it’s also quite significant that the Whispers make a windy noise as they fly. You can hear it every time they’re onscreen, like when they first appear to Cloud in chapter 2 of Remake (17:45-18:20), or when the White Whispers hold Cloud back from chasing after Aerith during Rebirth’s Sleeping Forest scene in chapter 14 (28:43-29:45). You can also hear the wind sounds in other Whisper-related tracks, such as “Whorl of Whispers” (clearly audible at 2:50-3:05), as well as “A Death Not Ordained by Fate” (clearly audible at 2:56-3:18). Therefore, I’ll call these wind noises the “fate motif”.
V. b) ii. 2) Interpreting “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra”
In part 1 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” (0:00-1:45), Aerith’s theme and Cloud’s true theme play simultaneously, their respective phrases fitting perfectly together, interweaving peacefully and softly. It sounds like the two of them are chatting, dancing bashfully yet contently and in perfect sync, glad to be exactly where they’re meant to be as their themes sing together in harmony (soft piano). Part 1 of this piece is about Cloud and Aerith becoming important to one another as they discover their soulmate bond.
Unfortunately that contentment doesn’t last. In part 2 (1:45-3:00), Cloud experiences a moment of psychic vulnerability (world theme’s interference section). Fate lurks (fate motif enters quietly). His instability forces our couple’s sweet dance to a halt, and Aerith’s theme must retreat as Cloud’s confusion takes center stage. Sephiroth torments and taunts him (semi-tone played by strings, 2:03-2:10), taking advantage of Cloud’s psychic interference to plunge him into darkness (world theme’s interference section ends, low cello enters, 2:18): Cloud temporarily becomes a darker version of himself as evil corrupts him (piano plays section A phrases 1 and 2 of Cloud’s true theme in minor, 2:18-2:53). Jenova finally reveals itself and promptly exits, releasing Cloud’s mind from its grasp (seven first notes of parasite motif played twice on piano 2:53-3:00). Cloud is free, but the damage has been done: his dance with Aerith has long been interrupted, and she is gone. Part 2 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” is about Cloud being manipulated in service of Sephiroth and Jenova’s evil plan, interrupting his interaction with Aerith.
Part 3 (3:00-3:33) kicks off the mechanisms of a tragic fate (strings section joins fate motif, 3:00). Both anxious that she’s disappeared from his side and terrified of the darkness he just discovered inside him (in part 2), Cloud fearfully calls out for Aerith (phrase 1 of Cloud’s true theme’s section A, timid and hesitant piano, 3:04-3:15). Before his psychic interference began (start of part 2), Cloud’s voice was accompanied by Aerith’s as they grew closer and closer (their character themes mingling in part 1)… but now, Aerith isn’t answering his call, and he cannot find her (Aerith’s theme doesn’t to join Cloud’s anymore).
Anxious, Cloud tries calling out for Aerith a second time (section A phrase 2 of Cloud’s true theme’s, 3:19-3:31), searching for her in the hopes that they can continue their dance, but even now, Aerith does not respond. She’s gone (Aerith’s theme remains absent). Destiny keeps Aerith away from Cloud (fate motif gently crescendos). Part 3 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” is about Cloud’s separation from Aerith, his search for her, and the fear and anxiousness he feels when he realizes he cannot find her.
And then, part 4 begins with a sweet, gentle voice, calling out from the blackened horizon: it’s Aerith (section B phrase 1 of Aerith’s theme, soft piano, 3:33-3:45). Cloud finally hears her respond to his pleas: he’s found her. Fate begins howling in protest, doubling its efforts to keep Cloud and Aerith apart (fate motif crescendos noticeably in reaction to Aerith’s theme, 3:45). You can just picture Cloud running toward Aerith, struggling against the current of destiny to try and close the distance between them. Aerith tries calling out for Cloud a second time, (section B phrase 2 of Aerith’s theme, 3:40-3:43), but the Whispers only swirl around her more ferociously, taking her away in the uncompromising current of fate (fate motif continues to crescendo). Aerith tries again (section B phrase 1 of Aerith’s theme, 3:47-3:49). It sounds like she’s saying “Cloud, I’m over here, come find me!”
Fate doesn’t take too kindly to her defying it. Cloud and Aerith are not supposed to be together; it can’t be, it won’t. She’s destined to die to save the planet, and he’s destined to remain hollow forevermore. I can picture Cloud breaking into a sprint at the sound of her voice, running countercurrent to the flow of destiny— but the winds are so loud, fate’s demands are so strong, and the Whispers are shrieking in defense of destiny now. Aerith’s voice emerges for the fourth time (first three notes of section B phrase 3 of Aerith’s theme, 3:54 to 3:56). Fate screams louder, louder (steep crescendo of fate motif, 3:59-4:02). In a desperate hail Mary, Aerith shouts out one more time, as though throwing her hand out toward Cloud’s extended fingers (section C phrase 1 of Aerith’s theme, louder and more insistent, cutting through the fate motif as it crescendos sharply, 4:00-4:06). Part 4 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” is about Cloud and Aerith desperately trying to defy fate in order to be together. And then, it all stops: fate has seemingly quieted Aerith (4:04-4:08)…
Part 5 (4:08-4:27) begins with Cloud jumping, launching himself off the ground with all his strength (Cloud’s true theme section A phrase 2, first 5 notes, melody starting on the note E5 and ascending) as Aerith plummets toward the ground in a fatal fall (Aerith’s theme section C phrase 1, melody starting on the note E6 and descending, the last note altered)— he successfully catches her in mid-air (both Cloud’s ascending melody and Aerith’s descending melody meet in the middle of the octave, first uniting on B5, and then ending on A5). I’ve recreated the melodies for you here so you can hear this reunion more clearly. If you consider that the airy strings in this piece represent fate, which I do, the fact that they follow Cloud and Aerith’s themes in part 5 signifies that they are now in control of their own destinies, and successfully making it their fate to reunite.
To be completely frank, I did not realize until right now writing this that Cloud unites with Aerith in part 5, even though his theme is right there. I’m so excited to share this part with you.
We hear Aerith once more, her voice quietly trailing off into the silence (phrase 4 of section C of Aerith’s theme) with no conclusion (phrase 5 normally follows phrase 4 to conclude Aerith’s theme, but is absent here). Part 5 of “Aerith’s Theme - The Cetra” suggests that Cloud will save Aerith and that the couple will change their fate, but also conveys an uncertain and open-ended quality.
(continued in part 5)

I am blown away by how much this sub and interest in a female-centric version of Warhammer 40k has become in the last week or so. You’re all amazing!
A few months ago, I had some ideas for a noblebright version of 40k where the primarchs and Emperor were female. The inspiration was cnmbwjx’s incredible art, which I am pleased to see has inspired many of you as well. I considered creating feminine versions of the primarchs’ names and came up with a list. I figure this might be a good time to share it along with my thought process behind them.
Before we begin, this is in no way an attempt to derail anyone’s canon. I have seen several names on this sub that I think are better than what I came up with. I also think there is something to be said for using the original primarchs’ names if that is your preference. Girls don’t have to have “girl names” after all~
Feel free to use these or not. I just wanted to share because I think my thoughts on the origins of the original names and ways to play with them could help others to come up with their own takes on these characters.
This is going to be a very large info dump, so I’m going to divide this thread into multiple threads released daily (hopefully). Some of the names require lengthy discussions (brace yourselves for Konrad Curze) while others require relatively little. I will go through the list according to the numbered order of the primarchs. I think about two primarchs per day will work.
My goal was to come up with satisfying names that stay true to the original names and their meanings / inspirations as possible. Where that was not possible or seemed to produce an unsatisfactory result, I afforded myself more creative liberties to try and capture the themes of the character and the sound of the original name.
I preserved alliteration with the all but one of the original names. I left surnames unchanged.
The majority of my posts will be an analysis of the original primarch names and an explanation of my reasoning for my feminine twist on them. It is my hope these explanations will assist others in their creative processes.
I have also included my suggested pronunciations for the names I think have unclear pronunciations. I did not use IPA phonetic notation because I do not think it is accessible for a casual reader since it requires using a reference list for the symbols. I instead use approximations of English syllables. Please let me know if any are unclear.
Several of these explanations may be straightforward to English-speakers and those familiar with 40k lore, but I think a detailed explanation is more inclusive. I have a feeling this sub will introduce many people to 40k that wouldn’t otherwise get into the official setting, so I want to help make your lore journeys easier.
Finally, I relied on Wiktionary and Wikipedia in researching the etymologies here. I am aware these are not ideals sources, but they’re the best I can do because of my work life. I would appreciate any corrections and supporting evidence. I certainly discovered some issues in my initial research going back through this list.
I: Lioness El’Jonson (Lion El’Jonson):
A lioness is a female lion, so I felt compelled to stick to that. However, Lion El’Jonson is one of the cleverer primarch names.
It’s a reference to Lionel Johnson, a nineteenth-century English poet who was both a devout Catholic and a gay man. Lionel was at war with his own identity, which led him to write the poem “The Dark Angel.” The poem is an expression of forbidden desire and the torment of keeping secrets while trying to stay loyal to a higher power that you believe will condemn you if it found out who you really are. Sounds just like the Dark Angels space marine chapter with their secret shame over something that wasn’t their fault.
While Lioness loses this literary reference, I do feel that valor and fierceness are much more a part of Lion’s character than the secretiveness of his chapter. Therefore, I stuck with referencing the animal, which is synonymous with themes of ferocity and bravery.
II: REDACTED: SIGILLITE-LEVEL AUTHORIZATION REQUIRED.
A mind without purpose will wander in dark places
Feel free to leave a comment on these submissions and this project generally. I look forward to sharing more with you next time~

Warning : this is probably the longest post I've ever written. It's awful. If you're expecting something short, run for your safety. Otherwise, take your time and have fun.
So Kaiser and Ness have always been pretty interesting characters since their introduction, but with the most recent chapters and especially ever since the Ness flashback, things have been intensifying and there's a lot going on around these two, especially with potential developments that might happen during the PxG match. Definitely some of my favorite characters in the story thematically.
This will be a huge post analyzing, dissecting and aiming to understand the psyches of both Ness and Kaiser, by following their stories individually, as well as how they intertwine together, how their pattern of relationship is very important to the story as a whole, as well as trying to review a lot of information in hindsight that might make a lot more sense now that we virtually have their entire stories.

Part I : Ness, the Wizard

So it all starts with Alexis Ness, a German kid born into a very stereotypical scientist family of reddit atheists, as well as the following sentence : "(my parents) taught me that it's possible to explain everything that happens on earth".
https://preview.redd.it/467quusc7s0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8c94fce3eb7d93edfad74f154bcb62b3f0cc072d
This first sentence already sets a very important tone with Ness' character. He is dreamy, he's a child full of wonder with a bit of an obsession for finding magic in things, born into a family that dismisses the existence of unexplainable concepts as a whole and lambasts him for believing in them at all, even as a child. Ness is an irrational being, born into an extremely rational environment, and that fact alone alienates him from his passion, and drives him to keep going until he finds something or someone that will understand him.
Ness has a passion for the unexplainable, not the scientific unexplainable, but more the "incredible" unexplainable, things that seem too fantastic to be believed at first, and yet are still true. He also assimilates his sadness with the lack of understanding from his family among the things that he deems to be unexplainable, whether by his family or himself. Ness has a passion for magic, cannot explain why, and that's part of why he believes in magic so much. His passion is self defined.
And that passion for seeking magic in things, is also what drives him to soccer. The joy that people feel, the roaring fans, the celebrations that come from goals, Ness feels as though soccer is what will allow him to truly bring magic into this world. Which is why I theorize, that with Ness' drive for playing soccer being to bring magic on the field, he might be a self-type ego that seeks to bring magic, the same way Barou seeks the feeling of being the king of the field, or Bachira to become one with the ball (this is a very common theme with self type egos, I might make a post about this one of these days). This is a very important point if we want to understand where Ness' current development in the PxG match could be going.
https://preview.redd.it/2pwr3hio7s0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=467615cdabc6a0ae6cebea3896dd0d4a29f74989
Ness then takes matters into his own hands and trains relentlessly to pass the Bastard Munchen tryouts, the best club in Germany, so he can have a shot at turning his dream into reality. Ness plays quite well and even shows skills that should allow him to be better than the current BM selection, but he runs into a massive problem ; his individual skills do allow him to keep up, but his plays are ineffective. His magic doesn't work on the world, and the biggest reason why is that no one on the field can keep up with his thinking. Ness lacks the partner that will help make his vision come true.
https://preview.redd.it/h3t5pj628s0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=20fa753b3d1e362981725295f453e7df8c592712
And that's when a certain someone makes their appearance.

Part II : Kaiser, the Blue Rose

It all starts with Michael Kaiser, a different German child with a very different upbringing, but whose destiny would end up crossing paths with that of Ness.
Kaiser grew up in the ashes of a destroyed family. His dad was a theatre director, his mom was an actress, who ended up leaving his dad soon after his birth. His father, unable to bear the weight of both an unwanted child and a failed love life, ended up sinking into alcoholism, gambling addiction and domestic violence.
His father having wasted his fortune completely and being unwilling to work, Kaiser was forced to learn how to steal very early in his life, but his disgusting father's self loathing, resentment and regret towards Michael's mother still ended up reaching him through his father's constant abuse. The treatment he got from his father was the only definition of love Kaiser has ever had, and he ended up internalizing this notion, as well as the feeling that he was not wanted in this world.
https://preview.redd.it/pbjmwago8s0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d8e88e9839891a7c7ac9e26abd27403fde3c1331
Kaiser grew up, and started saving up money from selling the more valuable items that he would steal. For his twelfth birthday, he decided to buy something for himself that would actually allow him to feel alive and closer to his far away objective of leaving his father one day. And that is how he stumbled upon football.
Unlike Ness however, who developed a passion for football simply because he saw magic in it, Kaiser developed an unhealthy attachment to football that would mimic his relationship to his father. It didn't matter how much he abused the ball, the ball wouldn't respond or protest, it'd just stay by his side silently. Kaiser saw in the ball the same form of attachment that his father showed him, he saw himself in the ball, an unwanted piece of trash that would silently take the abuse that was dished out to him. Because that was the only behavior that his father ever showed to him, Kaiser ended up assimilating abuse and violence to love. That is how Kaiser became an abuser himself, which is a very important facet of his character : cycles repeat themselves, and abusers create potential future abusers.
https://preview.redd.it/1nw0aoxs8s0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d0fb7ff24ec0a70cd1c141a6084d231931d1c1b0
Where Kaiser's story really begins though is when he is framed for a crime he didn't commit and the police enter their home for a search. Kaiser gets hit by his dad, the police find the money he was keeping from his father, and he's about to lose everything that would allow him to leave this life. Kaiser, at that moment, accepts the abuse again, and decides against his own heart that he'd simply take whatever sentence he gets and start saving up money again once he's out. He instinctively changes his mind when his dad decides to poke a few holes into his soccer ball though.
https://preview.redd.it/419kda1z8s0d1.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd23734280fee0a5e45b3b2f432dd3a4bc1a4437
Though Kaiser has an awful definition of what love or attachment really is, the love that he developed for football was still as pure as he could muster. And instinctively, as he sees his father about to destroy the only thing he's ever managed to feel attachment towards, Kaiser rises against the odds and fights as hard as he can. As the narrator says it himself, this is when Kaiser's identity was truly born. This is another very important element that we'll have to keep for later.
https://preview.redd.it/bwc3c8i09s0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=db6e687a46405976f724c2a652d139f9e8618dd1
Kaiser then goes on to get scouted by a certain PIFA executive named Ray Dark, who heard of the fact that he managed to take out multiple police officers with just a soccer ball. Kaiser is encouraged by Ray Dark to pass the BM tryouts, and is already determined to get as far away as possible from his former life, and this is where Kaiser's ego starts to badly mutate from its purest form, all because of the consequences of his father's abusive behavior : Kaiser is incapable of accepting any form of kindness and is very incline to violence.
Kaiser, from the second he enters the facility and starts training with the rest of the potential recruits, manages to make enemies through his extremely antagonistic behavior. He consistently picks fights, which obviously leads to situations where he's systematically in the wrong, and to people refusing to play with him in the moments that matter the most. This is where the Kaiser Impact is born ; Kaiser decides to create a weapon that won't just help him, but make sure he asserts full and total dominance over others. But he doesn't stop there.
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Kaiser starts studying elements of psychology, and his goal is strictly to find out how to manipulate someone and make sure that they would serve him during matches. He needed a lackey, that would serve him under all circumstances, and the best way to find that lackey was to find someone that was close to breaking under pressure and despair.
And this is where the BM tryouts start.

Part III : Perspectives

This is where the duo meets for the first time, and their perspectives on the situation are very different from one another, but very similar in one aspect : they provide each other with what they need.
https://preview.redd.it/vyrcjzv8as0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d0c94fb7754c4ad6ea8c6cd5eeb352149c4e994
Ness starts out the BM tryout match very hopeful, but realizes that his individual abilities are his only functional tool and that he can't manage to spark magic with the teammates that he currently has. Ness is in a situation of despair, where he is realizing that he might not make it, and that his family was right to treat him the way they did.
Kaiser in the meantime, is in the exact opposite situation. He is alone, certainly, but also not worried : all he is doing is looking for someone with good enough skills, and in a precarious situation whose heart he can safely erode and tame. Ness needs someone to show him that magic does exist ; Kaiser needs a lackey that he can use to reach his goals. Ness needs a friend, Kaiser needs a test subject. Their relationship, is by definition profoundly unequal, and for that reason, Kaiser is also the only one of the two to be aware of that fact.
https://preview.redd.it/v9ezbkfjas0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b0613b95305a64ebc6041d1c2b8a73052a6473a
The rest of the match is pretty obvious : Ness finds a good partner to make his imagination come to fruition, Kaiser finds a dog to feed him passes, they get a hat trick together and are selected for the BM team. The important point though, is that Ness didn't actually find despair in that match : he was on the brink of realizing that he couldn't bring magic alone, but the second he was about to either give up or awaken, Kaiser came to him and became his provider for the magic he was seeking. That is the best way to make Ness' ego, his very being, dependent on Kaiser's existence.
This panel shows this best : Ness' play would've been suboptimal for anyone else, his magic would not have been sufficient for a different player. Kaiser's individual ability however, is so overwhelming that he effortlessly brings Ness the magic he seeks. Ness' magic wouldn't have worked if it wasn't for Kaiser.
Ness has never known what it feels like to create magic alone, and therefore he associates magic to Kaiser's presence. If Kaiser himself fails, that implies a personal failure on Ness' part since it means his magic didn't function. That's an extremely important element to understand for the codependency element of these two characters, and that's part of the reason why Ness has constantly been extremely defensive of every single one of Kaiser's failures so far in the story : the same way Kaiser's dream slowly became his own, his failures feel just as much his as they are Kaiser's.
https://preview.redd.it/0pl31b2abs0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1137ca6530c1ec0ae89b1a7f0a3be49cf24f1ba3
Kaiser then goes on to become a very vicious player that specifically tries to scar his opponents as much as possible. The impossibility that Kaiser strives for, has become something he wants to incarnate for his opponents, an impossible behemoth to slay, the same way his dad was to him. Kaiser acknowledges this, however he associates the feeling of losing to such impossibility to weakness. To Kaiser, the fact that he let his father mistreat him for that long seems to be proof that he used to be a weak person, and that the true way to fight is to become just as evil and incarnate that feeling of impossibility to other people, as he says it to Ness : "Believing in the impossible is a curse, the instant people believe in the impossible is when they decide to give up. It's a survival instinct to guard against heartbreak, that's the way of weaklings, they kill themselves through this curse. Weaklings who dilute the purity of their egos to live longer are what I hate most in this world".
Kaiser has rationalized the abuse that he has gone through by assimilating his behavior to weakness, instead of recognizing this was the behavior of a child trying desperately to survive against impossible odds. The fact that he sees his past behavior as such and that he decided that he should become an abuser himself to get power back over his life, is already proof that his father's abuse won over his ego, and he doesn't know it himself. This is why his ego is fragile and diluted, and that's how he lost his way.
https://preview.redd.it/gnr2pmijbs0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e9c07a3f25650ab84e6cd8b3bc90d301a7d313b

Part IV : The reality of impossibility

This is where the NEL comes in. From what we know of Kaiser's objectives with the NEL, he has come to crush the local japanese ace, to give himself a publicity boost that would either prove to the world that he isn't inferior to Noel Noa, or to get himself a contract that would allow him to get out of his current club, both so he could compete with Noa in a less direct way, and therefore not have to face the impossible task that is destroying the system that has been built around him.
Both his intention of trying to destroy Isagi by showing him how impossible it is to beat him, and his intention to avoid beating Noa directly by instead trying to publicize himself as being a striker of equal mettle, show how his ego has been twisted from what it originally was : Kaiser has become addicted to the feeling of incarnating impossibility to other players and crushing them, and he has become very avoidant of any challenges that could seem impossible to him, the same way his father's abuse seemed impossible to overcome. He has created himself a predatory mentality unfit for a competitor, and he did it all as a survival mechanism to fight against impossible odds.
The problem really starts however, when his plan backfires, and it turns out the japanese ace specifically thrives on impossible challenges and does not stop improving. Isagi Yoichi, by the time of the PxG match, has become the incarnation of the impossible odds that Kaiser usually wants to avoid, but this time he is conflicted since Isagi is also the exact type of player that Kaiser wants to crush : he is forced to face his own fear, and the more the odds are against him, the more impossibility will catch up to Kaiser. Which is exactly what might lead to Ness' awakening.
https://preview.redd.it/cl0fcuo5cs0d1.jpg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2eb5a41479308384a1dc7cdb9f4be2a40891ea55
Since Ness attributes his magic to Kaiser's success, seeing Kaiser fail (and maybe even resent him for it), is most likely what will bring Ness to the pit of despair that he got to escape from back in the BM tryouts. Ness will have to face his fear of not being able to bring magic to the world alone. And with what's been foreshadowed, I believe Ness' awakening will come with some sort of cooperation with Isagi, which in turn will make Kaiser realize that he is back to facing the impossible behemoth that he faced not so long ago. This is what will make him revert to his purest ego. But what is his purest ego exactly ?

Final part : Conclusions, and Kaiser's true ego

We finally get to the part where I stop holding everything back and I tell what's on my mind.

1. I'll start with something very important : duos in Blue Lock are always doomed unless they become more than the sum of their parts.

Kaiser and Ness' duo made me realize it, especially with their very obvious parallels to Reo and Nagi, but duos often start out with one of the players (and sometimes both players) attributing a part of their ego to their partner. That right there, is exactly how egos are stifled.
In the case of Kaiser, though his intention was to manipulate Ness, he ended up creating an association in Ness' mind where though Ness sees his purpose in life to bring magic through football, he attributes his ability to bring magic to Kaiser, which means that in Ness' mind, he is incapable of doing it alone. I don't believe that's the case, but for Ness to prove it to himself, he has to try doing it first. The PxG match is the perfect opportunity for this, but that's not all.
https://preview.redd.it/p2zv1za0es0d1.jpg?width=1124&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dad6ddd89aca9f05adb18cc06825f6337f7b3702
Sae and Rin are also a very important example of this, since Sae knew from the start that having Rin associate him to his ego and use him as a reason to play football was a death sentence for both of them. I believe that Sae truly does want to win the Champion's league with his brother, but has let go of that dream and has tried to force Rin to do it as well to make sure both of them would reach their potential before hitting the wall that is the world level.
Reo has always attributed his dream of winning the world cup to the fact that he has Nagi by his side, and cannot really imagine achieving this dream without him. However, if Reo truly wants to evolve, I'm sure a lot of you are already anticipating this, but he has to let go of Nagi and evolve alone, which he most likely will do during the Manshine-Barcha match. Nagi himself doesn't have an objective, and has always improved as a player with the intention of helping Reo achieve his dream, which means that part of his ego is simply helping another player achieve his. Unless the both of them seperate at least temporarily, then Reo will never gain the confidence to achieve his dream alone, Nagi will never gain the ego to have his own dream and play football for the sake of his own passion, and neither of them will be able to cooperate on their common vision of winning together. And the way I know all of this ?
Is because Isagi and Bachira have already showed us the path of how a good duo functions. Bachira almost never awakened his true ego all because his loneliness made him see Isagi as essential to his well being, it forced him to look for players that would be able to keep up with his best football, and when he found them, he already thought he had won. Bachira realized that the only way he could keep playing with the players he admires and wants to rival, is by believing in his way of playing football instead of putting his belief in someone else. This is how duos survive : by having both players becoming better and fulfilled individually, and constantly pushing each other to individually become better before they rely on each other for victory.
https://preview.redd.it/bcjasudces0d1.jpg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6339a69e35ab6868f134742dbd1b56cd1db4d27

1. To get back to Kaiser and Ness, what that means is that Ness' evolution has to come at the cost of his dependence on Kaiser, and Kaiser's evolution has to come at the cost of the introspection he has to do to understand where his true nature comes from : this specific moment.

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My belief is that Kaiser's ego to incarnate the impossible isn't actually wrong, it's just taken from the wrong perspective. What Kaiser was since the very start, isn't a mindless perpatrator of violence that does it out of pleasure for crushing others : What Kaiser is, is a survivor.
\"I'll leave here someday.\"
No matter how tough the situation, no matter how much his father beat him, Kaiser never stopped believing or dreaming that he would one day free himself from his situation and rise against adversity. It might've been a small flame at first, but when his ego truly awakened was when he actually fought back for the first time. Kaiser isn't an impossible being because he is an unbeatable, violent monster, he is an impossible being because he rises against impossible odds no matter what.
\"The boy dreamed about going on a journey someday.\"
He is unfathomably resilient, and that is something that was very specifically cultivated from his experience of victimhood : Kaiser couldn't have become this kind of person if he was simply an abuser the same way his father was (which is currently what is stifling his ego), the only way he can be this impossible being is by going through what he did and surviving.
And in fact, that's also something that been shown in the manga already. After all, the only moment so far where Kaiser has showed us what could be his greatest performance, was when he had to rely on a play Isagi made to get a goal opportunity, and managed to beat 4 defenders (one of them being the best U20), culminating in a goal that's impossible to replicate even for the greatest players. Kaiser might be a self type ego that seeks impossible situations to reach flow.
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A player's personality is often reflected through their playstyle : that's the case with Kaiser, with his KI symbolizing his impossible dominance, and his MV symbolizing his manipulative way of playing with people ; which is why I don't believe it's a coincidence that the one time Kaiser has truly made a play no one else could replicate was when all odds were against him. And yet ironically, this is also the goal that Kaiser hates the most, because he still hates his younger self for not having fought back until the last moment. What he sees as weakness, is what is actually his greatest strength.
Anyways if you've read this far, thank you very much and congratulations, and if you have any, please tell me your thoughts in the comments.

Or, at least provide some extra tools that would make it easy for modders to do so. Not sure how that would work exactly, but I know Bethsoft devs don't have infinite time and money.
Disclaimer: I don't think most missions in Starfield need substantive revision—linearity isn't really the issue in my view, because Bethesda has never made it a point of giving every mission more than one outcome (or different flavors of the same ultimate outcome). But, quite often, how exactly you do things, what you say about what you're doing/have done, how you express yourself through dialogue, etc. provides a simulacrum of the choice that would exist if the quest simply had branching paths. Perhaps an ideal version of this game would go further and embrace the reactivity of your average Obsidian entry, but I don't expect that (and neither should you). Just some simple revisions (which I know design-wise are never really that simple) would do some wonders.
Viz., Bethsoft should make "small" edits to some specific missions that really interfere with the ability to feel immersed in the setting. I'll mention two of the worst offenders (in my limited view of having played the game one and a half times), but I know there are others that could benefit from similar (and likely even smaller) revisions.
The Hammer Falls (the last mission in the Freestar Rangers questline) was the first mission I did where I hated even bothering with the questline because of it. Learning from Paxton Hull (who I wish you could join or otherwise not be forced to kill, but that's not that big of a deal) that Ron Hope was behind everything should open up options to at least talk with others about what to actually do before being sent to your ultimate goal.
The fact that the game railroads you into immediate confrontation without, like, checking with anyone feels like an oversight. I know sheriffs are supposed to be kind of independent, but this guy (Hope) is like one of the twelve or so most powerful people in the Collective. I can't even talk with Marshal Blake or whomever about him before confronting him in a deadly shootoff? I can't even ask for backup? Where's the sheriff-fantasy where I call up my buddies to take down a crook?
I imagine a better designed version of this quest might involve first returning to Akila City and having a tense conversation with Blake (or some other Freestar representative) where you argue the apparent conflict of interest (the Collective's ruling body funds/supercedes the Rangers) and what that compels you to do, if anything. It could really help thematically resolve the underlying themes of the questline as a whole (the law as a just ideal/the law as an instrument of powecontrol). Not that this needs to have two wildly different paths where you confront Hope versus explicitly cover up his crimes, but it could at least affect your status as a ranger if you deliberately decided to confront Hope without convincing Blake. (Just an imperfect idea demonstrating the limitations of the current quest.)
The fact that you can't say anything about Hope before confronting him would be something I would've made a note on in QA. It's such a basic point of interrogation for ensuring that a quest in an open-world RPG fits seamlessly and immersively into the world. There are plenty of missions/quests in other Bethsoft games that don't do this, usually because the impact is really minor. But as the final mission of one of the two major factions' questlines, predicated on a reveal that recontextualizes all past missions in the questline, it works really poorly in my view to railroad you directly into confronting Ron Hope with no consultation with Marshal Blake or anyone else. Just the addition of a simple conversation would make this problem so much less glaring. Give the player an option of expressing their discomfort or anger at what's going on, or extend the final conversation with Marshal Blake. Or, ideally, give good reason mechanically (in the very quest's context) as to why things are as linear as they are.
When you trap Odahviing during The Fallen, he approaches you to talk, then you set him free after a conversation, then you ride atop him to Skuldafn, thus starting The World-Eater's Eyrie. But accounting for the eventuality of you leaving the courtyard before he reaches you to talk (or you exit conversation) is unreasonable, because a dangerous dragon, Odahviing, is right there, the way to Skuldafn is right there, and the end of the quest is right there. There's no design incentive to return to the open world if you're doing this quest at this exact moment, and I'm willing to bet exactly one person has ever done that (me, once, to deliberately see if it messed up the script). And once you fly to Skuldafn, the next couple hours are entirely linear (which is good!). It makes the end-game work really well because it feels and is seamless.
Confronting Hope doesn't have the same sense of urgency not because it isn't important but because the various design elements that encourage urgency in a mechanical sense aren't there. Imagine confronting Paxton (or whoever) in the reception area of the Hope factory (or somewhere equally close). There'd be basically nothing incentivizing you to not go confront Hope right then, for the same reasons as with Odahviing in Dragonreach's courtyard. Not accounting for leaving the reception area becomes just as reasonable of a design decision as not accounting for leaving Odahviing trapped without talking to him. When you leave Arcturus II, though, it doesn't really feel at all dissimilar from leaving a planet after clearing a random POI. Imagine if, after trapping Odahviing, he only gave you directions to Skuldafn which you had to travel yourself. This would have a similar effect, I feel, to what we experience at the end of First to Fight, First to Die and the beginning of The Hammer Falls. I imagine plenty of people would take detours to do x or y before finally going to Skuldafn, despite the quest's written urgency. If you want urgency in a practical sense, make the progression from objective-to-objective urgent by design. Reflect the urgency in the very way the game is played (i.e., make it weird to even consider leaving the Dragonsreach Courtyard while Odahviing is there and ready to take you to Skuldafn).
First Contact (the Paradiso mission with the colony ship) is honestly the single worst mission in the game for how little ability you have to do anything other than what the game explicitly tells you are your only options, often against the intuition of the writing. I think Bethsoft wanted to give a potentially intriguing moral dilemma that ends up being needlessly forced and ultimately not intriguing because of how poorly forced it is. The result is a quest that, while potentially interesting, is completely ruined by its implementation. Even creating a fail-state where you kill the executives (which the ECS Constant's crew could react to) could be an option which would involve considerably less scripting than creating entire new paths from scratch.
Because, again, the problem with these quests isn't necessarily that they're linear. It's that they're linear in such a way that makes it impossible for it to feel organic or emergent in the setting. Could you imagine a Season Unending type quest in the Paradiso boardroom where instead of the two options we have now, you would instead have to use specific dialogue choices to ensure a particular deal could be reached between both parties (with you as the Constant's (possibly ostensible) advocate? Maybe allow for some backgrounds or skill checks to automatically succeed some particularly challenging persuasion/intimidation checks for either the ECS crew or the Executives. It's a lot more work, but it's the ideal version of this particular mission, in my view, and it could happen without the other two options even existing. You could make the quest more linear and have it be more engaging for the player.
I've seen this articulated before but not in quite these terms: it is better to allow a player options in how they experience a single choice then to give them two forced bad choices.
The version we're left with feels like the type of Bethsoft quest that has a faster, dummy way to do a mission that people would only really choose if they were roleplaying a specific way, or just wanted to get an achievement (e.g., Destroy the Dark Brotherhood!). It's like there's two clearly worse/less developed options that are available for specific types of players, yet are ultimately meant to highlight the ultimately superior and lengthier third option, which in this case doesn't exist. I hate to say that it's just lazy (as designing any quest is a large undertaking), but it certainly feels really lazy the way that this quest forces these two options onto you with especially poor justification. And even then, there being only two options isn't that big of a deal—implement a fail-state where you kill the executives (or something equally unhinged), which I could see plenty of players doing, including me. Or maybe convince them to stand down by strapping grenades to your spacesuit, I don't know! Something that plays more to the player's ability to impose their will on NPCs rather than being powerless.
As for said powerlessness, being powerless isn't bad, but in this case it isn't really justified. There's no obstacle in terms of difficulty when it comes to this quest, it's just a barrier to choice that feels extremely artificial. At least in High Price to Pay, you can't be in two places at once and you know that there's danger in two places that you can't control for. Your powerlessness is earned by the game at this point, because you actually feel, given the context of the plot to this point, that you're up against something that you can't defend everyone else against at all times. It still feels a bit forced, perhaps, but it isn't nearly as egregious.
I honestly dread doing First Contact again because it frustrates me far more than any other mission, because of how it forces frustratingly restrictive options upon you. But it doesn't require huge overhauls to fix, even if an overhaul would make it a lot better.

My whole island Bunny Bay is bunny themed for my pet bunnies. My best girl Maggie always sat and cuddled while I'd play. She looked just like Dotty and Dotty is my birthday twin. I bought her amiibo to have her on my island.Maggie was on some meds for a stuffy nose and yesterday morning she passed. I can't even imagine loading my island anymore, let alone playing on it. My Maggie is everywhere on my island. I'm disabled and they were the only things that brought me stress free happiness and a distraction from the pain. I'm so lost without her and my game. I was almost done with my very first island and I guess it'll stay that way.

I'm not sure what to do
Hi, I'm 23 years old, currently in my last year (last weeks) of electronics engineering in university. Last year I failed one of my classes so I had to take a gap year. So this is my 5-th year of these studies. I really was supposed to finish this year, but I probably failed again.
Generally speaking these studies were extremely difficult for me, and from second year I was always close to failing one or two of my classes. I hid it from everybody since I liked seeing them being proud of me. I really hate that this is what I have chosen to study..But there is no way back.
I am european, so studying is free.Two years ago I have found a job as an electrical engineer. (I have also tried other electronics engineering jobs, but briefly)I have worked there for two years now, but I have left the place in January with a promise that I will be back when I graduate. However while I was working there full time during my gap year, I 100% understood that this is not for me. The job, the place and everything drained me. Even thinking about going back makes me tear up. I tried forcing myself to like what I do...Since I don't think it was that bad I really think that someone would love it, someone who has engineering as a passion. but it just didn't happen for me and while working I burned out even more. There were moment where I worked all night, just to be on time with my project.
after the second year I also started having panic attacks, where I would think that my heart is going to stop. But I managed to learn how to control them and when I feel one coming I usually know how to calm myself down.
Fast forward to now, I can see that my bachelor theme is way to difficult for me, I stayed allnighters to understand it and make it but the further I go the worst it gets. I understood that I might not make it, for a moment I had horrible thoughts, since EVERYONE around me is telling me that I will be nothing without my degree. My boyfriend of 5 years, he already graduated and is studying masters, is extremely mad that I even have thoughts of not finishing. My grandparents (my grandma has a doctor degree and was working in the university and faculty that I study in) are calling me, writing me messages, that if I dare to not finish they will disown me. My mom and dad was hard on me, but they are starting to understand, and are trying to just force me to push it through. There are moments when I think that I can somehow push it though, but reality hits harder. I cried a lot, but never in front of my peers and professors. However, today I was trying to catch up with few of my assignments, I worked all day and night, I really thought I understood everything. During my presentation, I just started crying, I couldn't explain whats written I couldn't explain anything, I was trying so hard to hold it in, but I just couldn't, tears were running down my cheeks like crazy. Everyone was uncomfortable, just waited for me to finnish my slides. At this moment I don't know what to do. I don't know if I can push it through...I know that last year is hard for everyone but Im just so tired...
I do think that education is important but I just dont know why something like engineering makes me suffer so much, it was never for me. I have very real plans for studying language therapy and working in this field maybe in the future.
If anyone is or was at a similar place, I really would appreciate any kind of advice.