Will a tattoo going down side of body hurt?

Tuesday May 7th 2024
Wolstein Center, Cleveland, OH
WBW Presents: Tuesday Night Spectactle
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This theme plays as KO comes down to the ring. Kevin grabs a microphone and says “CLEVELAND! 2 nights ago I had a classic match with my best friend Sami Zayn.. Then the Nemeth Brothers decided to get involved and for whatever reason chose me to win. Now tonight I am in the main event against Drew Mc-”.This theme plays and Drew McIntyre comes down to the ring with a microphone. Drew says “Kevin would you please stop worrying about my friend Nic. This is going to be your downfall my friend. Focus on our match tonight. We are supposed to have a 5 star classic but instead you're worrying about a cheerleader. But if you want to keep focusing on the Nemeth’s they are here!”. Drew exits the ring much to KO’s confusion. Nic and Ryan hop the barricades and surround KO on both sides of the ring. KO throws a strike at Ryan first but the number’s game catches up to him fast. Sami runs down but is intercepted by Claymore from Drew. Drew hits Sami with a Futureshock DDT on the ramp and throws him into the ring. Drew says “Get a referee down here. I got confirmation already its Sami Zayn vs my boy Nic Nemeth next!”. A referee comes running down to the ring as Drew gets on commentary for the match.
This segment takes 10 minutes (2:50 left of show time)
Sami Zayn w/ Kevin Owens vs Nic Nemeth w/ Ryan Nemeth
Sami is still down after the vicious attack from Drew McIntyre. Nic hits his 10 Elbow Drops going for the pin right off the bat. Sami kicks out at 2. Nic hits the ground in frustration expecting an easy win. Nic sets up in the corner for a Sweet Chin Music connecting! Nic falls into a pinfall. Sami kicks out at 2 and a half. Sami finally begins to fight back with a few strikes and goes for an Exploder Suplex. Nic lands on his feet. Sami turns around right into a superkick. Nic sets up in the corner connecting with another superkick. Nic then climbs the turnbuckle and goes for a big Elbow Drop. Sami gets to his feet and connects with a Blue Thunder Bomb out of nowhere going for the pin. Nic kicks out at 2 and 3/4 much to Sami’s shock. Sami lifts Nic up and hits a Exploder Suplex into the corner. Nic stumbles into the corner and Sami backs into the other corner for a Helluva Kick. Ryan grabs his legs and drags Sami into the turnbuckle. The referee was busy checking on Nic! KO grabs Ryan and hits him with a powerbomb onto the apron. KO turns around right into a Claymore Kick from Drew. Drew taunts KO and Sami as Sami turns his attention to Drew upset at him. Nic sneaks up behind Sami and hits him with a Zig Zag going for the pin. Nic gets the 3! Nic slips out of the ring as Drew joins him on the ramp. Ryan holding his back joins them laughing. KO checks Sami, staring up the ramp at Drew pissed off.
This match takes 10 minutes (2:40 left of show time)
Sami is seen backstage with KO. KO is pissed off saying how he is going to make Drew pay for this. Sami calms KO down and tells him to just be prepared for his match. KO agrees and walks off. Sami walks up to Mark Steel’s office door and knocks. Mark yells “Come in”. Sami walks in and Mark ushers for him to sit down. Sami says “Mr Steel you have to realize that if nothing is done the Nemeth Brothers will get involved in the main event”. Mark looks at Sami and says “I've already dealt with that. They were asked to leave the arena. And as such you will too. That way neither Drew nor KO will have unnecessary help tonight. Do I make myself cl-”. Drew bursts into the room and says “Mark I don't care if the Nemeth Brothers are there or not. Unlike Kevin I don't need their help to win”. Drew walks out as Mark and Sami stare at each other in shock.
This segment takes 5 minutes (2:35 left of show time)
Seth Rollins vs Carmelo Hayes - Round 2 of Winners Bracket for World Title Tournament
Seth and Carmelo begin circling each other. Seth offers a handshake and Melo takes it. Seth quickly rolls Hayes up for a quick kick out at 1. Melo and Seth both get to their feet at the same time and Seth laughs. Hayes throws a right fist sending Seth right to the ground. Hayes lifts Seth up and hits a Suplex into the Spinning Back Elbow combo. Hayes climbs the turnbuckle and hits a Fedora Frog Splash going for the pin. Seth kicks out at 2. Hayes climbs the turnbuckle again going for a Nothing But Net. Seth gets to his feet and hits Hayes with a Revolution Knee in mid air. Hayes hits the ground with a thud and Seth takes advantage with a Pedigree going for the pin. Hayes kicks out at 2. Seth backs into the corner stomping and preparing for a Curbstomp. Hayes throws Seth up into the air and hits a Samoan Drop on the way down. Hayes follows up with a Fedora Frog Splash going for the pin and getting a 2 and a half on Seth. Hayes doesn't stop as he climbs again and hits Nothing But Net going for the pin again. Seth kicks out at 2 and 3/4 which makes Hayes hit the ground in frustration. Hayes backs into the corner with his eyes glazed. He sets up to hit Seth’s curbstomp. Seth rolls out of the way and Hayes turns around right into a Spinning Elbow. Seth drops into the corner and hits a Curbstomp. Seth connects and goes for the pin. Hayes kicks out at 2 and a half. Seth hits the ground before throwing Hayes up the Turnbuckle going for a Falcon Arrow followed by a second Falcon Arrow. Seth climbs again going for a Frog Splash but Hayes rolls out of the way. Hayes quickly climbs the ropes going for a Nothing but Net but Seth rolls out of the way before connecting with a Superkick to Hayes while he was on his knees. Seth climbs to the second Turnbuckle and hits a super curb stomp right then and there going for the pin and getting the 3. Seth sits on his knees as the announcer announces his victory! Seth is going on to Round 3!
This match takes 15 minutes (2:20 left of show time)
Austin Theory and Grayson Waller ambush Seth from behind. MJF jumps the barricade and joins the assault when Laredo Kid, Myzteziz and Artemis come running down to the ring. They chase off MJF and A-Town Down Under before helping Seth to his feet. Seth grabs a microphone and says “Hey Max. I'll see you next week”. Seth stands tall with the Air Riders as MJF and A-Town Down Under retreat up the ramp!
This segment takes 5 minutes (2:15 left of show time)
This theme plays and out comes AJ Styles. AJ grabs a microphone and says “Last Sunday in Pittsburgh I lost everything. The Judgement Day attacked me before my match and broke my arm. Now I make no excuses cause at the end of the day I am the one who tapped out. But now I must focus on whoever wins next week to decide who will face me next week as well in the Second Round of the Losers Bracket. Whoever it is just know I will walk through the fucking fi-”. This theme plays and Finn Balor comes down to the ring with JD and Dom. Finn says “Next week I have to face the winner of the main event but before that. Thought I would pay you a visit. To make sure you remember.. THE JUDGEMENT DAY RUN WBW”. Out of nowhere AJ is attacked from behind by Chris Ridgeway. Judgement Day has a new member! This theme plays The Calamari Catch Kings theme plays and Chris Brookes runs down to the ring with the Lykos Gym. The Lykos Gym and Chris Brookes even the numbers and chase the Judgement Day up the ramp. AJ puts out a Bullet Club forever sign and CCK joins him! Judgement Day has bigger worries now as Chris Ridgeway’s first round opponent in the Battleground Tournament is in the ring with Judgement Day’s biggest rival!
This segment takes 10 minutes (2:05 left of show time)
The Riott Squad vs Shafir and Duke - Qualifier for 6 team Ladder Match for Women's Tag Titles
There are currently 3 titles without champions crowned. The World Championship, The Battleground Championship and the Women's Tag Championship. The latter is the only one not in a tournament. Instead there will be 6 qualifiers, 2 per spectacle. Where the winners are added to a 6 team ladder match. Tonight we get the first of 6 qualifiers as Liv Morgan and Ruby Soho team up once more in WBW to take on 2 enforcers of the ring in Marina Shafir and Jessamyn Duke. It starts with Liv Morgan and Ruby Soho on top. They have slightly more chemistry and experience allowing them to take the early edge. However as the match goes on it gets more balanced as the technical duo begin to roll in the later half. The match reaches its boiling point when Shafir locks Liv in an arm bar. Liv manages to get out, tossing Shafir into the ropes. Duke tags in but gets off the apron. Liv doesnt know as she hits a ObLIVion followed by a tag to Soho. Soho sets up and hits Shafir with the Soho Kick going for the pin. Duke comes out of nowhere and hits Liv with a German right onto Soho. Liv and Shafir both roll out of the ring as Duke drops into the corner. Soho stirs to her feet and Duke connects with a spear. Duke falls into the pin and gets the 3 on Soho. Shafir joins her in the ring as they celebrate one step closer to the Women's Tag Titles!
This match takes 15 minutes (1:50 left of show time)
After the match The Riott Squad attack Shafir and Duke from behind clearly upset about their loss. Lola Vice runs down to the ring with a steel chair and chases them off. Liv and Ruby retreat up the ramp as Lola grabs a microphone. Duke and Shafir stand at either side of her and she says “WE ARE THE HORSEWOMEN” to a massive cheer from the crowd!
This segment takes 5 minutes (1:45 left of show time)
This theme plays and the Rated R Superstar makes his WBW debut! Edge comes out to a loud pop. He enters the ring with a microphone and says “CLEVELAND OHIO! I HAVE BEEN ALL AROUND THE WORLD. I HAVE BEEN IN COMPANY AFTER COMPANY. AND NOW I'M HERE IN WBW. Man it feels good to be here. A Lot of great men in that locker room. The Judgement Day, Seth Rollins, Matt Cardona and Brian Myers. All these men I have history with. And all these men I suspect I will have a match with at some point in my tenure here. But enough talking cause I'm itching to step in that ring once again. So if anybody in the back wants a shot at beating one of the greatest to ever step in the ring, come out right now.. THIS IS AN OPEN CHALLENGE!”. This theme plays and out comes WBW’s newest star, A little less massive but still a great get, the ever talented Cara Noir!
This segment takes 10 minutes (1:35 left of show time)
Edge vs Cara Noir
Edge offers his hand for a handshake but Cara bats it away. Edge looks shocked and before he can react Cara hits him with an uppercut. Cara Noir begins hitting aerial offense in hopes to put Edge on the back of his feet. It works at first until he goes for a springboard knee and gets speared out of mid air. Edge stomps into the corner and prepares hitting a second more impactful spear going for the pin. Edge gets the 3 over Cara and stands tall after a 5 minute match!
This match takes 5 minutes (1:30 left of show time)
Edge stands up after getting the 3 on Cara Noir to a load of cheers! His head then turns to the ramp as This theme plays. The crowd pops once again as Randy Orton slowly descends down the ramp. He begins circling the ring like a shark. Edge prepares for a fight as Orton reaches the front of the apron. Orton acts like he's gonna jump up but backs off laughing at Edge. Orton turns and returns up the ramp and the only question of Edge, and the crowds, mind.. What is Randy Orton up to?
This segment takes 5 minutes (1:25 left of show time)
The System are backstage celebrating their title win when The Premiere Athletes walk up to them. Woods says “Moose I could care less what you think I want my rematch”. Moose just starts laughing at him and then says “You just lost the Scramble Match you're gonna have to earn that rematch”. Woods responds with “Oh don't worry i'm well aware which is why I came back here to inform Brian Myers. It's me vs him next, sanctioned by WBW Owner Mark Steel himself. Cya out there Champ”. Josh Woods puts his hand on Brian’s shoulder for a second before walking off. Daivari and Nese follow him out.
This segment takes 5 second (1:20 left of show time)
Josh Woods vs Brian Myers w/ Eddie Edwards
Josh Woods and Brian Myers circle each other as the bell is rung. They quickly get into a technical lockup which Woods gets the better of pushing Myers into the corner. Woods backs up as the referee tells him too and Myers takes advantage with a low knee. The referee yells at him but Myers doesn't care going for an early pin. Woods kicks out at 1. Brian continues his assault for a little bit before climbing the ropes going for a Heat Seeking Elbow. Woods rolls out of the way and tries to lock in a Knee Bar. He cant get it in properly and Myers escapes with a Enzuigiri followed by a Roster Cut going for the pin. Woods kicks out at 2. Myers climbs the turnbuckle and hits a Heat Seeking Elbow. He climbs up one more time to hit a second one once again going for the pin. Woods kicks out at 2 and a half. Myers hits the ground and is frustrated. He then lifts Josh up looking for a Taste the Danger. Woods drops down behind him and catches him in the Knee Bar. Myers screams in pain as he's in the hold for well over a minute before finally tapping out. Woods has just gotten a massive win!
This match takes 10 minutes (1:10 left of show time)
After the match Moose hits Woods from behind with his belt. Daivari and Nese try to intercept but the tag champs get in their way and the 2 teams begin brawling through the crowd and out of the arena. Moose now has Woods all to himself as he sets up Game Changer. This theme plays and the Monster Among Men runs down to the ring. He hits Moose with a shoulder tackle sending him flying. Moose quickly slides out of the ring and retreats up the ramp as Braun helps Woods to his feet. Braun and Woods stand tall as Moose stands at the top of the ramp outraged.
This segment takes 5 minutes (1:05 left of show time)
Mark Steel is backstage talking to KO. KO says “Why did you tell Sami to go home, It was the Nemeth Brothers and Drew getting involved not him”. Mark responds with “It is my job to focus on safety and wellbe-”. Moose interrupts him, as KO storms off, “Wellbeing my ass. Braun just showed up and attacked me. I demand retribution”. Mark says “That's funny cause he only came out to protect Josh Woods who you attacked first. Instead i've decided it's going to be Josh Woods and Braun Strowman next week to decide who will be the #1 contender for your WCW Intercontinental Championship. Oh and if you or any other member of the System show up.. You will be forced to vacate your title immediat-”. Josh Woods walks up interrupting “Next week I'm gonna beat Braun Strowman and then I'm going to make you regret attacking me tonight”. Woods walks off as Mark takes a deep breath clearly annoyed about being interrupted yet again.
This match takes 10 minutes (0:50 left of show time)
Stupid Youth Project vs Paige Sisters w/ Ella Envy - Qualifier for 6 Team Ladder Match for Women's Tag Titles
Alice Crowley and Billie Starkz team up to take on Pretty Empowered’s Kylie and Kenzie Paige. Alice and Kenzie have a powerhouse display while Billie and Kylie use their high-flying ability. Both teams wanted to win badly. In the end it comes down to a last second ditch effort from Billie to connect with a frog splash and pin Kenzie for the 3 count. They will be joining The Horsewomen in the 6 team Ladder Match!
This match takes 10 minutes (0:40 left of show time)
Drew Gulak and Alpha Academy w/ Maxxine Dupri vs Legado Del Fantasma w/ Elektra Lopez
This match is a very chaotic match so like the Women's Tag Qualifiers I decided to just give it a basic description. All potential encounters happen as everyone from each team fought everyone from the other team. In the end Maxxine and Elektra argue and Elektra lays Maxxine out. This takes Otis’ attention for one second and the Los Lotharios take advantage with double chopblocks. Garza forces Otis to his feet and hits a Wingclipper as Humberto hits a Suicide Dive wiping out the rest of the Academy. Garza goes for the pin and Gulak attempts to get involved when he's hit with a Canadian Destroyer by Aeroboy. Gable gets to his feet and attempts to slide in but Escobar grabs his legs as Garza gets the 3! Legado Del Fantasma stood tall together in the ring celebrating.
This match takes 15 minutes (0:25 left of show time)
Chad Gable begins yelling at Otis. Drew Gulak gets in the way and tells Gable that's not how you treat your student. Gable shoves him and Gulak delivers a stiff kick before locking in an arm bar. Otis gets to his feet dejected as Gable yells out “Remember No Matter What”. Otis mutters under his breath “No Matter What” before lifting Drew off Gable and sending him crashing through the barricade. The rest of Alpha Academy meet them on the ramp as LDF watches the chaos in awe.
This segment takes 5 minutes (0:20 left of show time)
Drew McIntyre vs Kevin Owens - Round 2 of Winners Bracket for World Title Tournament
We finally reach the main event. Sami Zayn isn't allowed to show up, nor are the Nemeth Brothers. It's just Drew and KO. The match starts with KO lunging at Drew with a stiff kick before hitting him in the back sending him to the ground. Drew rolls out of the ring but KO follows persisting on the attack as the count starts. KO bangs Drew’s head off the announce table before throwing him into the steel steps. KO follows and Drew manages to get to his feet connecting with a Claymore. Drew quickly ducks in the ring looking for an easy 10 count. Kevin gets in at 9. Drew persists on the attack hitting a Futureshock DDT going for the pin. Kevin kicks out at 1. Drew looks shocked and backs into the corner. Drew begins counting down from 3 and goes for the Claymore. Kevin catches him mid air and hits a Powerbomb on the spot going for a pin. Drew kicks out at 1. KO hits the ground in frustration as Drew stumbles into the corner. KO kicks Drew in the midsection before backing up. He turns around and goes for the cannonball but Drew moves out of the way just in the nick of time! Drew connects with a Claymore going for the pin. KO kicks out at 2. Drew gets in the referee's face and asks him why it wasn't a 3. KO takes advantage pushing Drew into the referee knocking the referee out. KO then hits Drew with the Stunner followed by a Powerbomb. KO goes for the pin but Drew kicks out at 2.. Not that the referee was up anyway. KO climbs the turnbuckle and goes for a frog splash. Drew rolls out of the way and connects with a second claymore as the referee gets to his feet. Drew goes for the pin but KO kicks out at 2 and a half. Drew hits the ground in frustration, confused how it wasnt a 3. Drew lifts KO up for a Futureshock when KO reverses into a stunner. KO then lifts Drew up but his knee gives out and Drew lands in front of him connecting with a Glasgow Kiss followed by a Futureshock DDT going for the pin. KO kicks out at 2 and 3/4 and Drew goes absolutely crazy dropping back into the corner and connecting with another Claymore. Drew isn't done as he drops into the corner a second time hitting yet another Claymore. Drew doesn't care as he drops into the corner for a third time and begins counting down from 3. KO gets to his feet and hits a pop up powerbomb out of nowhere going for the pin. 2 masked men jump the barricade with “3MB” shirts on and pull the referee out of the ring. KO gets the 3 before he realizes the referee is gone. The 2 men remove their masks and climb onto the apron on both sides, thus revealing themselves to be Heath Slater and Jinder Mahal! The crowd pops as Drew’s buddies enter the ring and go after KO. At first KO does alright but then the Numbers Game catches up to him when Drew gets involved. Drew drops into the corner and begins counting down from 3 as Jinder and Heath force the referee up and toss him into the ring. Drew connects with the Claymore for a 6th time in this match going for the pin. This time Kevin cannot answer the 3 count! Jinder and Heath join Drew in the ring as 3MB celebrate together!
This match takes 20 minutes (Show Finish)

TL;DR (18m) I was planning on going to college for game development but I don't think I want a career in that. I just want to do my own thing and hopefully get big. Biology seems cool.
I want to be an independent game developer. I have my own game idea and I'm really passionate about it. I’d make it even if I couldn’t make money off of it. It has a bunch of creatures based on real life biology, it's called speculative evolution. Kinda like Subnautica or James Cameron’s Avatar. Like alien animals and aren’t just monsters. I animate all the characters and creatures and want the game to have a hand drawn style like Hollow Knight.
Due to my interest in video games and digital arts / animation, I applied to an art school with a game design major, within walking distance from my high school. I visited it during my art classes and found the environment inviting. There were nice studio spaces and the students there looked really fun to be around. The Game Design professor was really nice to listen to during the Open House. All these together, alongside transportation issues led me to tunnel vision into this school. When I got the financial aid package, I started rethinking the idea of going. I assumed it would cover most of the cost since my family is low income and I have a lot of siblings. The school seems really nice but I don’t want to have 100K in student loans.
I didn’t apply anywhere else until recently. This year's FAFSA was delayed by a lot which made applying to other schools a bit tricky. I got accepted into a state school which offers more stuff too.
All the game developer layoffs and crunch time stuff, I don’t really think I want to do that. I of course want to make my own game. Like alone, in an apartment or my own little studio space or something. Being able to be a concept artist would be awesome, but it’s like super competitive and there’s also AI image generation. (eww I hate that) It’s scary good now, imagine how good it’ll be in 4 years when I graduate. Working on other people’s games would be cool, I guess. That’s not why I want to learn this stuff. I just want to do my own thing
Also looking at the art college’s class lineup, they don’t have anything not related to art. I like biology, paleontology and other earth sciences because I do lots of worldbuilding. I don’t get bored in stem classes like I imagine a lot of art school students do.
I’ve been thinking about a lot of other careers.
Dental Hygienists seem to make a lot of dollars without flexible hours, but I’ve also heard they have wrist pain which would make it really hard to draw.
Software Engineering is alright. Like I can tolerate it, but without the lens of video games, I don’t really care for it. The coding part of video games is not my spark, it’s more the artistic creative side. Also I hear that’s like the most overcrowded major everywhere. I know people who love coding like how I love paleontology, just researching it for fun.
Being a TV show animator seems really similar to being in a game developer studio. I also think I’d have to move to California or something. I don’t really want to move that far away.
Architecture seems kinda cool. I just heard you have to love it because you work overtime a lot and would get paid more for your effort in other fields.
Having some sort of biology job would be really cool. I’m not sure exactly what they do though. Again I saw you have to love it because it’s hard to find a job without a masters degree.
My art teacher is really proud of my work so far and it makes me happy. I will say though, considering something else as a career has made thinking about it so much less stressful. It can just be something cool I do and if it gets big, I don’t have to work anymore. Yahoo. I could also put hobbyist instead of professional in my bio, which looks cooler to me.
Extra:
Working a trade sounds sucky because I’ve helped my friend at his family business at a warehouse once. It was okay but I don’t want to do that for a living. Lifting heavy stuff and getting kinda hurt. No thanks.
Also I’m aware I simplify a bit when talking about competition and stuff. The idea is that entry level jobs would be hard to get and those don’t really pay that well and I don’t want to feel like I wasted a college degree. I could be being dumb about AI image generation but any professional art people can let me know.
You can read about my student loan worries here here
And I can link to my itch.io for my 1 minute game prototypes if anyone is interested. My 2D Platformers with Krita Animations
Anyway what I’m asking for is your thoughts because I’m not knowledgeable here. Anyone with a biology degree, experience in the jobs I listed or whatever else (I don’t know, it’s why I am asking)

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. We are very happy together, just bought a house and have plans to get engaged this year. Over the past year his mother's behavior has been completely out of line.
My boyfriend has always had a strained relationship with her, but in the last two years we have been together I've witnessed it and it’s gotten out of control. She treats him like a child, gets mad if we make our own decisions, sends rude texts, expects him and me to be at her beck and call for tasks and errands (if my boyfriend says no she will withdraw love), bullies him and says so many uncalled for and hurtful things.
The day we closed on our home, his mom called him and said "Your relationship is toxic, there's a list of things I don't like about her, it's her fault you bought a house with her, etc.” she never once said congratulations the entire house buying process.
Anything we don't do her way, she throws a fit, makes rude comments or acts like a child.
For example, I am of the jewish religion, which she has always been very welcoming of and in the past has gotten me gifts for the Jewish holidays. This past Christmas she told my boyfriend I could go sit in the other room of their house alone while she put a church service on tv. On Christmas Day, his sisters husband got air pod and lululemon and I got a $9 box of packing cubes.
When we first started dating his mom was very welcoming; always complimenting me, saying we were a great couple. About a year ago after we moved in together I noticed she started acting differently towards me.
She will blame anything she can on me to make me look like a bad person. Now that I know what she thinks of me, I have no desire to be around her or involve her in any part of my life. She went on to say I need to do work on my end to mend the relationship with her.
My boyfriend has said for a while, she is very close to being out of our life. He had a sit down conversation with his mother and his father about her behavior and how we are feeling, expressed that it cannot continue and she agreed to apologize to me.
It's been more than two months, so my boyfriend informed his dad that she has yet to reach out to me- to which he responded "she thought we were past it" and my boyfriend made it clear that she still needs to apologize. A couple days later he called his mom and had to beg her to apologize to me. When he asked her to say sorry she lied and said she already apologized to me, which never happened. And I started going crazy thinking maybe she did and i didn’t remember ( add gaslighting to the list)
The disrespect has gone on for too long and her inability to apologize for the hurtful things she has said tells me everything we need to know. She doesn't treat her son like an adult or with any ounce of respect. She has no desire to have a relationship with me or even suck it up for the sake of her son's happiness. I feel bad for my boyfriend since he has been dealing with her his whole life and he doesn't deserve to be treated like this. His older sister moved 6 hours away and hardly comes home to visit and I think we know why.

I've been with a company for 3 years and the entire time I've been there upper management has disliked me. Despite me being a top runner in the company and always volunteering to come in early and stay late. (Because I like the extra pay not because I care about the company) They dislike the fact that I stand up for myself and my coworkers when we are treated unfairly. In one instance they made policy changes without informing us and then when we inevitably are upset why we're not getting the perks we had before I talked to them and they couldn't explain why we were no longer getting those perks and instead they told us to refer to the policy. The policy that says it had been altered a few months prior. Another time my coworker was getting punished for not taking breaks so they could a higher bonus on their check since productivity is paid out. I brought up the wording in the policy how it said "may take" for breaks and "must take" for lunches. That was shut down by saying policy is up to "manager discretion" and verbal policy holds the same weight as written ones.
Since those incidents I've kept a pretty low profile but have had a target on my back. When I applied for a supervisor position they said one of the reasons I didn't get it is because I was too combative. I figured I would never move up in the company since the reasons for not getting the job became personal not professional. So I just continued as normal working late if needed and being their go to for little things. I drive heavy machinery, something that I'm one of the few people who seem to realize is dangerous to be around. And I take extra care to be hyper aware of who I'm around when I drive. But I'm also well aware of my experience so I drive at top speed when it is safe to do so. Something that is only now an issue.
So to the issue at hand. They put up an arbitrary stop sign at a choke point / blind spot which sees a lot of traffic both on foot and on equipment. This was about a year ago. It has caused the area to be more dangerous than before because now people on foot do not watch out for heavy equipment and expect them to keep them safe. Nobody bothers treating it like a road stop sign, management included. People often do a rolling stop to see if anyone's around and go about their way. If it's apparent nobody is around then sometimes people will just go through. Management sees this first hand and never enforces it. Yesterday someone saw me and another person drive through and complained. They brought me into the office and basically tried to get me to admit to something but I had no idea what they were talking about. After that they finally said it was about the stop sign. They said it was an issue and I brought up what I stated above. They did not like that and took me off equipment for the day.
The next day I came in and they immediately took me into the office. Right off the bat they were aggressive. Bringing up what if scenarios to say I could've hurt someone, and making personal jabs saying I'm not "that good" at driving my equipment. Despite being in zero accidents in the last 2 years and some people being in at least one accident every few months. They also tried to make claims about me not having "remorse" for the hypothetical person who could have been hit. Acting as if the reason I drove through wasn't because nobody was there, but that it was an act of God nobody was hurt. They put me on "administrative leave" pending "investigation". And that I would be escorted out of the building and can't return until I'm told otherwise. They asked me if I had any questions and they refused to answer any of them. Such as, 1. "What exactly are you investigating?" Since I at no time did I deny drivjng through and the video footage was already seen of it happening. 2. "Why am I being singled out despite other people doing this?" Which they said I wouldn't know if I was being signed out or not as if it isn't obvious since I'm in trouble and nobody else is or has been. And 3. "Can I go talk to my HR representative and why wasn't an HR representative here in the first place?" Which was extra suspicious because they said no I can't go talk them. And that if I want to be difficult we can do this the hard way. Overall a bad interaction despite me remaining professional the whole time. I've seen other people go on "leave" 90% of the time they never come back.
So TLDR, my job of 3 years is putting me on "administrative leave" over a minor infraction that everyone does. Because I don't take their BS. In my company "administrative leave" rarely means you come back.

Yesterday I was drinking at the park alone. I don’t have any friends(because of my drinking) and drinking alone is usually my mode of fun- I guess this time I just decided to “enjoy the weather” too.
I eventually got to talking to a vendor there. He eventually sat down and we got chatting casually. I wasn’t into him or anything, all friendly. He eventually says he’s going to make a few more rounds at the park and leaves me. No hard feelings - go make your money dude. Then I hear two gay guys behind me saying how “awww look her little boyfriend left” “I guarantee you she’s NOT getting posted anywhere” and some other comments.
It made me feel so hyper visible and uncomfortable I was just frozen as these random people hurled whatever weird thoughts they had about me. The drunkenness amplified these feelings and I felt tears welling in my eyes as I stared into space. I feel so weirded out as it’s a place I looked for a lot of comfort(maybe the wrong kind of comfort) I’m pretty overweight(as a consequence of my drinking) so I get I can be an easy target, but I’m honestly just so uncomfortable by the whole situation, and I know it shouldn’t affect me but it just hurts a lot knowing how misogynistic people can be even if they are queer too. They see it as fun as a “read” or “drag” but no my dude you’re just bullying a stranger. Afterwards, I was so shaken up and sad I went to go pick up more alcohol. I decided it against it though because I fast forwarded the tape and KNEW I would call out of work the next day and just have the boxes(wine) staring at me in my room right now.
I’m pretty depressed and I feel like I can’t even exist in the world without people side eyeing me or straight up making fun of me. Why wouldn’t I be a reclusive, alcoholic ? I hate this shit I wish people saw me beyond silhouette and I wish didn’t have to turn to alcohol so often

If everything was lie then go if you don’t want to actually try then go if you don’t believe in me then go it’s truly nothing new because this ain’t true, love you claim I was so toxic, but you’ll learn a little bit of arguments here and there is not toxic. It’s called miscommunication. Everybody makes mistakes everything I’m doing is wrong then be my guess I can’t stop you and I can’t force you to believe in somebody who you believed in all these years and then randomly changed I get it. I’m not your person no more do what you Gotta do. You don’t have to play with my emotions nine years and.you just walk out just like that you know I you had something on your mind. The whole time everything went down was severely wrong like I said I forgive you, but the last thing I will do is, I’m not gonna sit here and beg. I’ll be right here where you left me, I’m not being done like this anymore, I’m not blind. I see what you’re doing if I ain’t worth a little bit of time for you everything I do so. Be it you’ll learn not many people like you used to joke around about not many peoples can put up with that meanness. I loved it, but I just don’t think I’m enough for you. I don’t think you’re ever gonna find it in your heart to forgive me or believe in me, why you don’t believe in me I’ll never know I still behind you through every fucking thing. Make sure you got your college done still with you while you had a baby through all that depression wasn’t all my fault but I’ll take the blame. I’ll always love you and I’ll always wish you would make it work, but this one side of stuff is not working. You won’t even hardly text me. I’m not begging no more. I’m putting my foot down. Things are fixing to change. I don’t know if you’re gonna like it.

I look at you from across the room
Instantly feel the urge to talk to you
One more thing I'm thinking about
Why am I not sitting next to you?
I'm so jealous of that blonde girl,
Cute blue dress with white ribbons.
I can't help it, I feel this way deeply.
Though I should be grateful, not angry.
I get to live in the same town
get to call you ever since lockdown
get to see the same purple sky
As you, every single cold night.
I think I might just die.
You're literally a rockstar
Carrying around your guitar
And when you start playing
I immediately start shaking
Shivers running down my spine
I can't believe it, this is real life!
I can't help it I'm taking pictures
I can't help it I'm shouting curse words
I can't help it if you're like this
You're unbelievable, actually...
I love the way your curly hair looks
It's giving 1950s yearbooks
Imagine if we had lived then
It all would have been so weird
No social media to stalk you No close friends story to post to which you'd react and call. Not knowing I only let YOU see it all.
All the shit you've been put through, I wanna kill the people who've hurt you I'll literally fight them one by one Then hide their bodies in my backyard And don't worry the cops won't find me or if they do it will still be worth it
I can tell you this one thing for sure I won't let you cry for no more I don't want any tears running down On your cheeks, through your dimples. (Unless of course they're happy tears)
Everytime I write in my journal I can't help but feel fortunate To write down your name Because Girl you never fail to amaze me!
School bells ring, classes end I go up to you and you pull me in. We say goodbye, see you next week The weekend's here, oh how great! It of course makes me happy. But I can't help overthinking. Did I do something wrong? What if my spell comes off? I've only used it a few times before.
You always put a smile on my face I love how you smell and the roses in your hair. The adorable way you laugh, While I tell you my, silly poems. Gosh, I love hanging out with you, I know, you'll shine eternally!
You always make me feel great Because you're just so amazing Why are you so nice to me? Like actually, why do I deserve this? I think I don't, not at all I feel now, that it will come to end.
Until then, I want you to know I love you wholeheartedly, And will forever do! There is just, no one quite like you! C. This is for you.

I've been through too much and am way over my limit. Grew up in an industry where I was used by adults & abused on all levels by clients and agents. I never saw any of the money I made. My parents fought every day growing up, then made me the therapist/referee for them. One also molested me as a child repeatedly. My first boyfriend also SA'd me. I've never talked about that to anyone except one person, who I love so much but all I seem to be able to do is make his life worse, and I delude myself somehow into thinking it's the other way around. Yes I have BPD.
When my parents split and one got out, I became the punching bag because I stayed. And then I was homeless. And then I was back in the same industry and almost starved myself to death. I tried to kill myself then. I failed and got 5150d. I felt like a failure for failing even at that. My mom started using it as something to hold over my head. I tried to cut her off. I ended up resolving things with my dad, who was the victim before I was with my mom. And then he fucking died. And then all his debt fell on me. And my entire family on his side started laying all their issues on me, and cut me off from family gatherings.
Then my only other tether (grandparent) passed from being sad about my dad and my dad's sister dragged me through court over it and my being left things she didn't see fit. She didn't even see me as human, let alone family. I had to move back in with my mom around this time and she took out everything on me again. But this time she even tried to kill me several times. I thought I was going to end up dead because of her but somehow didn't. Or worse we'd both hurt each other, but for me from self defense. Around this time I also found out I have a health condition that's killing me. I'm going to be lucky to make it to 32. And no one knows. And now that's only 5 years away and I can feel my body falling apart and no one sees a thing.
All I do is hurt people I love. And not even realize it until it's too late. I tried to go to therapy, but I can't afford it anymore. I can't get medicated because of shortages either. It feels like there's no point in my existing. Why was I here if only to suffer so much? I miss my family but they're all dead. One of my aunts just died and I don't know how to keep holding on. And then one of my younger sisters, the ONLY ones keeping me here and sane, TRIED TO KILL HERSELF when I was out of town for my aunt's funeral. What is the point of my being here if I can't even stop them from making my mistakes?!
Where I'm so unlovable that everyone tires of me eventually?! That I'm here just to die?! And then my mom tops it off the other day telling me she regrets ever having me. I didn't ask to be born. I didn't ask for any of this so why does it keep happening?! What did I ever do to deserve this kind of life??? Where when I think I'm starting to get my shit together I find out my delusion was delusioning too close to the sun again. I barely pay my bills. I'm in debt still. I would've been okay if I could only just get my shit together but I keep making the same loop. I don't want to keep hurting people I love. And then because of my job being in the public eye I can't even just be honest about it to that audience. Everyone thinks I have it all together and that I live this great life and no one but the one I love who now can't even bring himself to say he loves me knew about it.

My mother is a very damaged person. She’s been through a lot. She’s been through abuse and sexual assault. She was an addict when I was a kid. I would always be hugging her, consoling her, comforting her while she cried over her shithead boyfriends. I don’t think she’s a bad person. Deep down I know her heart is pure and she means well. But I realized she has never emotionally supported me. She never asked me and my brothers if we were okay if we got hurt or cried, because she has this tough love mindset that comforting sad or hurt people “enables them” to be weak and sensitive. She has recorded me crying because it was funny and then laughed at the video while replaying it. She has mocked and insulted me while I cried and had panic attacks. Once she said to me, when I was about 12, “you’re more of a mother to me” or something along those lines. Why do I have to be the bigger person? She’s my mom. I hate this tough love bullshit. I never treated her that way. I showed her unconditional love, support, and compassion before realizing that she is unable to do the same for me.
She told me I’m a bad person pretending to be a good one. Because I called her out yesterday. I was in a good mood, so of course she comes inside and starts bringing up everything I’m doing wrong: I didn’t let my bunny out of its cage that day, so she said I need to sell it, that I’m neglecting it. Then she brings up that I don’t tell her I used the last of our laundry money. The thing is I did tell her she just didn’t listen. When I told her I told her already, she says “well sometimes I just don’t listen to you because you talk nonsense”. I do sometimes talk nonsense-I have psychosis episodes and I’m suspected to be bipolar. When I feel manic I just can’t stop saying anything that pops into my mind. I don’t think this means I deserve to be ignored…..I said “you’re miserable so you need to make everyone else feel that way” and she said “that’s what you do”. But it’s not. It’s not what I do at all. I love her but this behavior is draining. It seems that much of what she’s saying to me is a projection. She told me I’m the manipulative one. This is frustrating. I can’t show anger towards her, because I will be demonized. How do you deal with someone who is this emotionally immature? I want her to be happy because I know she has a sort of mental health issue. I keep telling her she needs therapy but she won’t go.
My psychiatrist told me she thinks my mom is a narcissist who is using my mental illness and brain damage to further manipulate me. But I just don’t see it. I will never believe that my mom is a bad person. I wish the best for her despite my anger about the things she has done. I only wish to deal with this woman in the most mature and kind way possible that will allow me to stop being damaged by her. She acts nice most of the time, but she’s definitely done cruel things. When I bring them up she can’t see what’s wrong with her actions and refuses to apologize.

Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road
Having said his piece, Rene had expected the woman to accept her role as a prisoner of the Fleet. But no sooner had he taken his knee of her back than she was at him again, rolling over and cursing as she tried to spit him on her claws. Training kicked in and Rene applied the wrestling component of his hand-to-hand combat course. He secured underhooks with his arms, locking them together with his hands and hugging her tight from behind. Zildiz bucked and twisted around in a futile attempt to make room for her blades, even managing to get one of her knees beneath her and push off the ground. Rene allowed her to gain her feet, cunningly using the opening to slip the loop of his encircling arms around her waist. Now in complete control of her center of gravity, Rene swung his leg out and arched his back, heaving her up and over like a sack of turnips in a textbook suplex. A fraction of a second before he smashed the top of her skull into the hard ground, he remembered that he was supposed to keep prisoners alive and preferably not in a vegetative state, and so he cushioned the fall with his own body, falling on his side to increase surface area and dissipate the force.
Zildiz was caught totally by surprise. Unlike Rene she had neglected to tuck in her chin before the moment of impact, a vital detail which was one of the first things a recruit was taught to do on the mats.
“Oof!” she said as all the breath slammed out of her by the throw. Rene felt her body go limp as her dazed senses tried to adjust to the violent change of orientation. He took advantage of this moment of weakness and looped his legs around her body, locking his ankles together to form a full body triangle. His left forearm punched up and took her neck in a rear naked choke, a suffocating vise formed by the insides of his elbow crushing her windpipe and carotid arteries.
“I warned you,” he told her. His choking hand grabbed the inside of his other elbow, right forearm sneaking behind her neck and under his armpit, tightening the garrote even further.
“Had enough?”
“Hrrnnkk…” Zildiz choked. She lifted an arm and slid back the blade until it was the length of a finger, deliberately giving Rene the universal gesture to go and fornicate with himself, before sheathing the claw entirely and aiming her fist at him over her shoulder.
Rene ducked as the blade shot out again, only just avoiding it going through his eye socket and into his brain. As it was, it only nicked his temple, sending warm lines of blood trickling down his visor. Rene hugged her even tighter, constricting the chokehold until he heard her breathing reduced to an agonized wheeze. He throttled her until she stopped moving, her struggles weakening until she went completely lax. Then he held the choke for exactly three seconds longer, counting carefully to avoid giving her lasting brain damage. He let go and was relieved to hear her snoring faintly. Gently rolling her onto her back so she didn’t suffocate in the dirt, Rene cast about for a means to secure his prisoner. He had only a few seconds before she regained consciousness. Quickly he cut some vines from the surrounding trees and knotted them into a crude rope. He flipped her back over again and tied her hands at the wrists and elbows. He had no illusions that it would hold her for long. He tied her wings together at their bases for good measure. She had two sets of them, but the larger pair was missing one of its partners that had been torn off at the socket to reveal a gaping wound. They were wondrously tough membranes considering how thin and flexible they were, as sturdy as ultrapod leather. Rene looked over his work and loosened it a bit so as not to cut off the circulation in her arms. It wasn’t bad for something done on the fly. Then again, he’d been playing this whole thing by ear ever since the ambush that had cut his unit to pieces. Ye gods, but that whole experience felt like a lifetime ago. He had not expected to ever use that component of his hand-to-hand training designed for fighting human opponents. Of course, he’d helped put down a fair share of civil unrest in his time, but even during the worst of the food riots in Mound Ulysses he’d never so much as given a person a light shove. The civilians knew better than to antagonize a battalion of the Fleet’s finest over something as routine and reoccurring as a government rationing in the face of crop failure.
He felt quite bad about having to roughhouse the woman, that is, until she sat up awake and glowered hatefully at him, coughing and retching.
“Don’t,” he pleaded with her in exasperation as she gave him the old stink eye, “I don’t want to fight you again.”
“Why?” she spat defiantly, “Afraid you’d lose?”
“Uh huh,” Rene grunted, amused and even a little impressed by her spunk. She couldn’t have weighed more than sixty kilos soaking wet and was at least half a foot shorter than him even with that exomorph of hers, but this woman was all fight and no quit. She would have to be, living on the surface world and facing these abominations day after day. Rene looked at the dismembered corpses of the black-furred devils and had a sudden jolt of inspiration. As Zildiz tested the strength of her restraints Rene went over to the monster he had chopped to bits and poked the misshapen hump on its back, which had excreted thick ribbons of silk at the moment of death. Feeling more than a little squeamish, Rene pulled on the threads of silk. He had only meant to collect two or three meters of the material, but more and more of the stuff kept unwinding out its glands like a handkerchief from a magician’s pocket. Eventually his hands became enmeshed in the horrid stuff and he had to struggle like the dickens to unstick himself and scrape it off onto a bush where it stuck like a lumpy hammock. Remembering how his enemy had plugged the stab wound in its gut, Rene snapped off a twig and curled it into the white mess like those vendors at the fairs did with candy cloud treats, ending up with a spool of silk. He applied it to the cut on his temple by winding it around his head like a bandage, and was gratified when it stopped the bleeding almost immediately. He heard the rustle of dead leaves and turned around to find Zildiz furtively attempting to sidle away from him.
“Don’t even try it,” he told her, “Or I’ll run you down and knock you senseless. I’m taking you back to civilization. The Fleet needs to know what it’s up against out here, and you’re a veritable trove of information.”
Zildiz squatted back down and stared at him, simmering with resentment. Rene shook his head and continued his work, moving on to the monster that had been the first to die at the woman’s hands. Cutting open its hump, Rene was rewarded with a dense lump of thread still packed inside its spinneret. He took another twig and spooled it in, then wrapped the bundle of silk in a large leaf.
A leg twitched of its own accord. Rene nearly dropped the bundle as he sprang back, sword upraised. The devil’s limbs began doing a tap dance and Rene relaxed a bit, recognizing it as the onset of rigor mortis. The side of its face was split open and hanging loosely by a strap of flesh. Struck by a nagging suspicion, Rene stooped down and peeled off the segments of its head, holding the edge of his sword against its neck to decapitate it in the event that it proved too lively for his liking.
The musculature and armor tore away just like it had with Zildiz’s helm, and for the second time that night he found himself staring into the face of another living human being. Only this time it was a man whose face was utterly disfigured, a perversion of the basic form. In the place of his lower jaw were fingerlike protrusions of gummy tissue and exposed nerve endings. His nose cartilage was likewise missing, leaving only a pair of holes dribbling with snot. The man blinked, and glassy eyes with almost no whites at their edges fixed Rene in their gaze.
“Kill…me…” the man whispered.
Rene began to shake uncontrollably, wiping a trembling hand across his mouth as he was forced to consider the carnage he’d just wrought in a new and horrifying light. These weren’t three dead monsters littering the jungle floor; these were three dead men, and some of them he had killed himself.
“Kill me!” the man begged him. He was young, barely Rene’s age, his smooth skin untroubled by the wrinkles of age and worry. He had clear brown pupils and dark, expressive brows. If it weren’t for all the rest of him, Rene might’ve mistaken him for a fresh-faced recruit at the academy, or a paperboy climbing up the terraced apartments of inner hive to deliver news of the Fleet’s latest victory.
On unsteady legs Rene staggered back to Zildiz’s side and away from the awful truth he had uncovered.
“Something the matter?” Zildiz asked in a gleeful tone, “Feeling a little worse for wear, are we?”
“Shut it,” Rene said distantly. He dragged Zildiz to her feet and began winding the silk around her wrists, layering them over thick and tying them off with a simple knot. He kept the vines on her for added insurance and told her to start walking.
“Where to?” she demanded.
“I’m not feeding you to my children, if that’s what you’re asking,” he muttered, “I don’t have any to begin with, and even if I did, I sure as hell wouldn’t raise them to be cannibals.”
Zildiz didn’t move, so Rene grabbed her and frog marched her away. He had no real destination in mind—he just had to get away from this place and the bodies he’d made. Zildiz rounded on Rene, saying:
“Aren’t you going to deal with him? I only severed his neural connection to paralyze his exomorph. He’s still very much alive.”
“No!” Rene yelled, “That’s not how I—how people do things. Almighty ancestors, is that so hard for you to grasp?”
“Yes,” Zildiz replied quite candidly.
“He’s a living, breathing human being. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but those are pretty rare on Arachnea and worth keeping around.”
“No. He is a Leaper. After extracting your gilt helix, he and his packmates would devoured you right then and there.”
“That’s why you saved me, isn’t it? So they couldn’t obtain this shiny helix thing?”
Zildiz ignored his question, continuing:
“If you leave him here, at best he will die of exposure. At worst, his tribe will come looking for him, and if they find him, they will run us down and kill us anyway.”
Rene bit his lip. She spoke the truth and they both knew it. But after all this world had already taken from him, there remained one thing which he refused to part with. And Rene knew that if he gave in now and took the expedient option—the sensible option—he would be surrendering it forever.
“Sorry,” he said finally, “That’s against the rules.”
He dragged Zildiz over to the Leaper and spoke to him, saying:
“I won’t kill you. I’m not about to eat you either, so you can stop begging for a quick death. As long as you tell me what I want to know, we’ll leave you here and go our separate ways. I might even patch your wounds if you’re cooperative. Does that strike you as a fair bargain?”
The Leaper met this pronouncement with a look of utter perplexity that mirrored the one on Zildiz’s face.
“I’ll take that silence as a yes,” Rene said impatiently, “You’ll begin by telling me your name.”
“Kryptusshh,” the Leaper said slowly, as if not daring to hope.
“Very good. Are there any more of your people out there, Kryptus?”
“Why sshhould I trusht you? I would only be dooming more of my kindred, and there issh no certainty you would not kill me afterwardssh.”
“It’s a chance you have to take,” Rene shrugged, “Either that, or I’ll let this woman do as she pleases with you. And just between you and me,” he said in a loud stage whisper, “She doesn’t seem all that fond of your sort.”
Zildiz and Kryptus locked eyes with each other. Rene could almost feel the waves of hatred coming off her as she bristled, every tendon in her body tensing expectantly. Kryptus must have seen something he didn’t like, for he looked away and said:
“I am a warrior of the Weeping Vipersh. We are roughly eleven hundred sshtrong. One tenth of that number are bravesshh like me.”
“He lies,” Zildiz said, baring her teeth in a snarl, “That is less than half their true strength. He does not count the adolescents and the old loom-mothers, who are the deadliest of their kind.”
“Three hundred, then, if they are consshidered,” Kryptman quickly admitted, “Your pardon, merciful one.”
“I’ll excuse your forgetfulness just this once,” Rene warned, “But your memory better not fail you again.”
He questioned the Leaper closely. Kryptus claimed that only he and his pack had seen the safety pod’s crash landing, and that they had told no one else as they wished to claim the great prize all for themselves. The Weeping Vipers were the largest tribe in the rainforest and were always looking for an advantage over their numerous and belligerent neighbors. Apparently Kryptus had hoped to gain a modicum of the Divine Engine’s power by extracting something called a ‘gilt helix’ from Rene’s blood.
“Jussht one sample would have shatishfied uss,” Kryptus swore, “Then we would have taken you back to the Loom alive.”
“I’m sure nothing would’ve pleased you better,” Rene said wryly, all too cognizant of Zildiz’s earlier assumption that he planned to feed her to the Fleet’s youth.
Rene learned from Kryptus that the Divine Engine had ignited a blazing wildfire that was swiftly spreading north and west. The tribes would likely have noticed it by now, and would all be sending braves in a joint effort to douse the flames. For some reason all the Leapers felt collectively responsible for the wellbeing of the region, and could not allow it to come to harm for fear of dire repercussions.
“Last question. Is anyone going to come looking for you?”
“Not till the morning.”
“Good!” said Zildiz, breaking out of Rene’s grip and aiming a vicious kick at the side of the Leaper’s head. Rene barely caught her and yanked her back, shouting:
“Blood and thunder, woman! Is there nothing you won’t do to piss me off?”
“Are you insane? You cannot possibly mean to leave him alive!” the Gallivant hissed.
“That’s exactly what I’m going to do. Now come here!”
Rene took her by the elbow and pulled her forward, leaving Kryptus where he lay.
“You promished you would tend to my woundssh!” the Leaper cried after them.
“Don’t push your luck!” Rene said over his shoulder, “Anyone who follows us will meet the same end as your friends.”
He and his prisoner went tramping off into the night, Zildiz raging at him all the while.
“Fool! We will both come to regret that decision!”
“You’re probably right,” Rene had to agree.
“Then why did you do it?”
“For the same reason I’m letting you strut around and screech into my ear. What can I say? I’m a conversationalist.”
Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road

 I have no idea why, but I finally resorted to come here possibly for some answers or others experience, like I’m begging to that extent. This is my first time experiencing anything is this matter, and it just lives in my head and scares the absolute shit out of me. I haven’t gotten anything clear out of anybody nor does anyone believe me when I tell them. The start of whatever this happened about 2-3 months ago. Me and my sister, let’s just call her M. We was driving home from a gas station that was around 10 minutes away from our house, around 4:30-45 in the morning, which this was the closest place around for anything. I don’t know how to describe it, but we finally got onto our road, and not even 500ft in stands a deer on our side in the road, with beading human like eyeballs that stared us down as we drove by to avoid hitting it. This deer never moved, and gave us a very fucked up feeling. Later, in all honesty it wasn’t but like a week ago, 6 days ago to be exact. It was around 1am, M had just got done with playing some game in my room with her friend. She then told me that she wanted to go to the gas station, just to get a redbull. We got in the car and left, not thinking anything of it, but around the exact same place the last occurrence happened, we come down the road that was kind of like a hill. I was in the passenger seat staring at the road, when I seen a human face with a human like appearance to it about to run out on the road, a few hundred feet in front of us, it scared me to the point of genuinely screaming, but I looked over to M then back again at the place where it was, and there stands an eerie doe, very scrawny with thin legs. We had eventually gotten home, not having any idea what to think about this occurrence, I know we sat at that store for over an hour trying to recollect ourselves. I just do not know how to wrap my head around any of this, it’s kind of messing me up. I’m so tired at this point, I don’t believe I will ever forget this. 

(For posting reasons: Age:35 / Male / Malta EU / 163cm 72.5kg / Non smoker for 3 years, started again 4 days ago)
Hi all - I felt I need to talk to someone - I have posted numerous times about needed help regarding a left sided swelling and full body flushing. Some replied and some ignored and I understand completely.
Im 35 Malta, 5foot 4- now 73kg from 61kg due to Predisone(Steroid) and I've just been released from our local hospital. I've done all the tests possible including MRI's, CT's, US's and almost 30 pages of blood tests which all show no real "abnormality".
This all started with a slight left swelling in my Jaw February 2023 and a red rash plus extreme ants under skin. Now May 2024 - My whole left side is swollen, and now accompanied by pain. Was rushed to hospital 2 days ago due to both feet and ankles swelling, and hands and fingers swelling. Multiple tests and nothing abnormal.
Looked at my Rheumatologist, spoke to my Immunologist and even if they didn't say it clearly - this is where this ride will end. I have tried everything in my power and they have done all there is to do. But the swelling keeps increasing, the fatigue keeps gaining on me and the pain well - is not helping at all.
I have kept my job, and I thank my boss for his patience. I have tried to deal with my youngsters and wife best I can. Now I start preparing for the inevitable. Can't say Im happy - but I think deep down I always knew since they always stated that its an unknown disease. Gonna try to enjoy this summer fishing and going out with the family and see how long we can stretch this out.
Were going to try one last medicine, should be here in a week. baricitinib 2mg daily - like a last resort - but still there's no guarantee it will work and odds are slim.
Felt I needed to vent somewhere - and well maybe read some feedback.
Thanks all -

tl;dr: Did Sunosi make you feel more sleepy? If you stopped taking it for any reason, did you get bad headaches/body aches or any other side effects/symptoms?
I've been taking 70mg of Vyvanse and 20-40mg of Ritalin as needed for about 4-5 years now, and the combo works "okay". It's kind of manageable, but not great. I tried Wakix for two months in 2022 but it made me depressed, and as I have bipolar II with a history of chronic depression that's a no-go, so I stopped. About four months ago I started Sunosi and was up to 150mg - and it felt like it did nothing to help with the sleepiness/exhaustion, and even seemed to make me feel more sleepy? Like with just the Vyvanse/Ritalin combo I still get sleep attacks where I need to lie down, but I can't actually sleep - I have to just relax as if I'm going to nap for at least 30-45 minutes and then I'm (usually) good to go. But with Sunosi in the mix I would actually fall asleep when I napped during the day and I couldn't nap for anything less than 45 minutes, usually more than an hour, which is not dissimilar to how it was before I took any stimulants. I didn't notice any emotional or mental side effects, pretty much just the sleepiness.
I stopped taking the Sunosi about a week ago to see if it was really making a difference, and now I'm definitely having more headaches/migraines than usual (I have chronic migraines as it is), and my regular medication doesn't always make it stop, but I can't be sure if it's from stopping the med or if my migraines are just acting up. I also felt *really* nauseated yesterday morning and actually had to leave work, and my stomach has felt kind of messed up in general. I do feel a bit less sleepy and foggy during the day, but the headaches really suck, and I feel like my pain levels have been worse in general too.
If you've been on Sunosi did you notice any negative effects (other than agitation)? Did you ever feel more sleepy? And if you stopped it, did you have any "withdrawal" symptoms or negative effects? Everything I've seen says that Sunosi doesn't cause withdrawal issues, but I've had some weird side effects with other meds that supposedly weren't common, so I just don't know.
For context: I have narcolepsy w/o cataplexy, bipolar II disorder, ADHD, chronic migraines, and am being evaluated for Ehler's-Danlos Syndrome. I take 70mg Vyvanse, 20-40mg Ritalin, 300mg of Lamictal, 100mg Zoloft, 10mg Abilify, 5mg rizatriptan as needed and just started Emgality injections for migraines

Me M26 and my now ex F32 have been together and living together for over a year. I know that doesn't sound like a long time but we've been pretty good friends for 8 years before that. I have met my person, I never once questioned that the relationship we had would end. She was the love of my life and I so wanted her to be the mother of my children and be with me for life. I had even started planning the proposal. We had so many plans and both expressed a ton of interest in spending our lives together.
We were planning on buying a house together, Buying a golf cart to ride around our neighborhood to visit all the friends that we made together. We had a family vacation planned in June that we had already paid for. Hell we even almost had a child once and were both so fucking excited. Fast forward to last week. Out of the blue she came to me and said she thinks we need a break... This hit me hard, I was listening to the love of my life tell me that she doesn't know what she wants anymore and that almost killed me.
I told her I just wanted her to be happy and I gave her the space she needed. This lasted 2 days, she texted me while I was at work and said that she missed me and we were going to be ok. She was going to figure it out (Heart emojis and all) I was so happy. My mood was at an all time high since the woman I loved still loved me, or so I thought.
Well on Monday I came home to find her sitting outside. I was happy to see her but I could tell she was not feeling the same. She just came out and said it, She was done... This killed me, I was blindsided and didn't know what to think. She said a lot of things that hurt including the fact that she never loved me from day one (This is either a lie or she faked it super well). I packed a few things and left with some friends as she told me If I stayed it would make things worse. I haven't been home in over a week. I feel like my life is crashing down, the woman I loved told me she didn't love me and to make things worse she thinks I'm going to retaliate. I am not allowed in our home without her present and found out that she changed the locks to the house the day after I left, reminder that we have been friends for 8 years prior to this. She has zero trust in me and I have never given her the slightest reason for her not to trust me. I found out that when I go to get my stuff on Sunday that she is going to have her Dad and Brother there and It just hurts so bad... I thought I loved this woman but in the past couple days she has changed for the worse.
She's treating me like I'm a bad guy and she knows I would've risked my life for her if given the chance. I still lover her and I think I always will but she has played so many games with my emotions I don't know If I could ever trust anyone like that again. I don't know how Sunday is gonna go down and that terrifies me. I feel at this point there is no way I can even continue a friendship with her and she keeps telling me that she doesn't want to lose me as a best friend.
I am lost.
I have to restart my life, a life that I had planned with her and I don't know how I'm going to do that.

Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road
Deep in the groaning halls of sinew and bone he awaited his audience with the god. At a wave of his hand the ribs which held up the ceiling contracted, tendons shifting within the pink walls of the chamber as the jagged, calcareous spurs that composed the doorway sank back into the spongy masses of tissue, revealing a passage curving down and out of sight.
Menash stood before the yawning portal and considered eternity. This was no an idle thought: here in the Dawning Chamber, the concept was very real. His father, Yulan, had stood in this exact spot times beyond count. When he was struck down in his prime by the Night Weaver and her Leaper offspring, torn limb from limb as he fought to defend Chthonis from a raiding party, Menash’s uncle, Aqavarr, had carried his broken remains over that grinning threshold to join the hosts of the dead, never to return.
A hot and heavy exhalation rattled up out of the depths, wafting in the acrid scent of the bonding pools and the wet slithering sound of the rebirthing canals. Menash felt a crackle of static in the corners of his mind before the signal sharpened and he heard It whisper distinctly:
“Enter…”
The familiar dread crept its way up the small of his back, and he gave a little shiver. No matter how many times he had communed with the Vitalus, he’d never been able to shake the feeling of his utter insignificance. But he persevered, walking bravely down the slurping passage, past the rows of broad antechambers lining either side of the hallway. Each one held a slumbering shape immersed in a cryogenic bath, towering hulks of muscle encased in ribbed and riveted plates of chitin. No two were alike in size or physiology, but all seemed to emanate the same primeval aura of dread that tickled Menash’s fight-or-flight-instinct, skewing it very much towards the latter response. These were the Hollowores, soulless avatars of the Vitalus, each one a tool capable of eradicating an entire species. As Menash approached, one of the living weapons stirred to life. A pronged, anvil-shaped head emerged from the bath, umbilical feeder tubes detaching from its armored flanks as the rest of its bulk followed, its mauve exoskeleton as sleek and shiny as amethyst. The Hollowore extended legs as thick as grown pine trees and lifted itself above him, its pairs of crushing pincers dripping amniotic fluids as it herded him towards the central room.
Bundles of white gossamer filaments spread all across the floor, encircling steaming pools of pus and acid. He saw arms and legs, sensory organs and entire exoskeletons being knitted before his very eyes, the amino acid chains being stitched on a layer at a time, the weeping pus evidence of microphages fighting off possible infections as the Vitalus did Its work.
These were the next generation of exomorphs, yet to be assigned to their hosts. It was here that Vitalus constantly improved the only thing that could ensure the continued survival of Menash’s subspecies. Exomorphs were bonded to Gallivants at birth, the organisms supplying their hosts with the means to breathe an atmosphere they was never meant to endure, and the strength to fight in a world that was red in tooth and claw. They were as swift as the summer wind and could multiply their host’s muscular power by up to twelve times their natural output.
But for all their God-given might, Gallivants were still mortal. They could and often did perish in the endless struggle for existence that the Vitalus called the Great Game. But even in death they could still commit their essence to posterity, passing down their defining traits through the malleable genetic code of the gilt helix. It was the Vitalus’ greatest boon; through the gilt helix a single individual could become a progenitor of an entire generation, becoming at one stroke the father of whole nations and peoples.
One day he too would prove worthy of the honor that Yulan had earned with his life. But he was not alone in that ambition. Menash was annoyed to find the crimson-clad Vezda and the cowardly Racek waiting for him inside, standing next to a large ball of filaments that hung from a tonsil-like growth hanging from the walls.
This node pulsed, emitting a small storm of bioelectric activity, networks of fungi conveying commands in the form of oscillating voltages to their communities of symbiotic bacteria, the latter containing greigite mineral crystals aligned in the shape of electromagnetic coils. Other networks hidden in the walls modulated and amplified the signals, and the three Gallivants steeled themselves for the onrushing flood of information as the Vitalus tapped into their minds.
He was a candle before the raging heart of the thunderstorm. For an instant Menash touched a fraction of Its intelligence, the divisions of time and space rolling back as they joined the ocean of shared consciousness, becoming one with the living systems of Arachnea. From the tiniest aeroplankton floating above the waves of the golden coastlines, to the herds of ultrapods munching their way through swathes of trees in the savannahs. Menash felt himself pushing up out of the soil, longing and lusting and reaching for the sunlight with a trillion green fingers uncurling, alive with the furious movement of life.
But what was that flicker of orange to the east? That searing heat, that prickling pain spreading like a cancer down his side?
The Vitalus scooped them up and hurled them headlong into hell itself. A roaring wildfire was sweeping into the heart of the eastern rainforests. Menash tasted ash and ruin, felt pieces of himself wither and burn, his branches tongues of fire, wood cracking from the intense blaze, sap boiling instantaneously upon contact and rupturing, splitting him right down the grain. He fled in terror, running, slithering, digging, swimming, flying away in crazed panic from the walls of red death closing in on him. As his skin flaked off in clumps of charcoal he looked back and saw it towering over the treetops, the epicenter of this howling vortex of destruction: the grey behemoth. Its burnished metal hide gleamed like copper, reflecting the fury of the conflagration burning well into the night.
Menash pulled his mind away before it was lost forever in the storm of electric potentials. He saw Racek and Vezda swaying on their feet, breathing hard and fast.
“Heart of the World,” he managed to gasp, “What is your bidding?”
The Hollowore maneuvered itself until it was facing him directly. Tiny beady eyes fixed him in their blank gaze. The node emitted a blue pulse and the creature shuddered as it received the signal. It opened a maw powerful enough to chew boulders into gravel and rumbled:
“This one is the alpha which survived first contact with anomalous variable. It will tell Us what occurred, and from whence this threat emerged.”
“It came from the karst mountain range, where the yellowjacket Amit live,” Menash replied, “It was destroying the largest mound in that area, massacring its inhabitants. It brought the mountain down on them—we’ve never seen anything like it. Zildiz was the first on the scene. She warned us not to approach, and that it was dangerous, but some of us,” here he cast an angry look at Vezda, “Some of us went ahead and tried to scavenge from the bodies of the dying. Then the behemoth ignited the air and burned scores of us to cinders.”
“Irrational. Why did you do this?”
“W-we thought that you had spawned the grey behemoth,” Menash stammered, embarrassed to say the least, “That it was the newest addition to the Great Game, another species of ultrafauna that would help perfect Arachnea.”
“Not so. It was made by an evil far older than the All-In-One,” replied the Vitalus, “It is called a Divine Engine. In cycles past, this evil sought to undo this world and all that inhabit it. In that, it almost succeeded.”
Menash felt his blood run cold at those words.
“Is it the only one of its kind?” Racek piped up. Menash and Vezda both bristled at his interruption; subordinates were only supposed to speak when spoken to.
“There were several deployed here in Our infancy. We had thought them all destroyed in the War of Creation.”
“Your Munificence,” Racek went on, heedless of the venomous looks he was getting from the other two, “Most of us survived because Zildiz persuaded us to dive into the river. She saved all our lives! But as I washed up on the riverbank, I saw the behemoth casting a seedpod into the skies. I did not see where it landed, but it was travelling in a high arc due east. Is this the behemoth’s method of reproducing? If so, then how many offspring can it generate from this one seed?”
The Vitalus met his questions with a minute of silence. Menash had never known It to take so long to respond to a query, and felt another stab of unease in his gut. Unless he was imagining things, the Vitalus seemed genuinely disturbed by the scenario that Racek has raised, enough to convince Menash that the danger was far from hypothetical.
“That is a distant possibility,” It said somewhat cryptically, “Regardless, We cannot allow the Engine’s continued existence.”
“Then it must be destroyed,” Vezda said, her barbed tail eagerly perking up.
“We are not certain that it can be,” the Vitalus said, and Menash heard Racek audibly gulp at the admission.
“But Your Omniscience, you alone are the arbiter of growth and decay,” Vezda said in disbelief, “Surely you can unmake this monster as well?”
“Perhaps. The Divine Engines were built to withstand the extremes of temperature, gravity, atmospheric pressure, acidity and irradiation found on semi-inhabitable exoplanets. Worlds of bareness and desolation, glassed by thermonuclear bombardment or infested with alien microorganisms. In the wars of Our youth, the Betrayers used tungsten-alloy warheads fired from space platforms to crack their bulkheads. Not even Our vessels, the Hollowores, could damage them in any significant way. We will need time to gather the raw materials and fabricate the weapons needed to end this threat.”
“What must we do?” Menash asked.
“If this variable is not dealt with, it could upset the delicate balance We have sacrificed so much to achieve. Already the wildfire it has caused will release close to 400 million metric tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere and destroy 2.3 million acres of forest before Our countermeasures can stop it. Time is our limiting factor. If the Engine cannot be destroyed now, it must be restrained.”
“It hasn’t moved an inch since we last saw it,” Vezda said brightly, “Maybe it has already died?”
“Yes, and maybe your mother was a horka toad,” Racek said snidely. Vezda scowled and took a step towards him, then stopped as she remembered that she trod on hallowed ground.
“Not so. It has merely gone dormant. Having expended its fuel, it is now running on the bare minimum of its reserves. My children, you must ensure that it does not wake again. Establish a quarantine zone around the Engine and let none approach, on pain of death. The Leaper kindreds will secure the ground while the Gallivants patrol the skies.”
Vezda and Menash exchanged troubled looks. Nobody wanted Leapers establishing a foothold in what was essentially a buffer zone between their subspecies. Once allowed to settle in a habitat, it would not take long for them to adapt and become masters of their new territory. Ousting them would become a battle of attrition, and given the lower birthrates of Gallivants, it was not one they could long afford.
“Respectfully, we do not require assistance from our brother kindred,” Menash ventured, “We are more than capable of safeguarding the area ourselves.”
The node throbbed again, the bioelectric flashes taking on an angry purple hue. With a sound like the grinding of a millstone the Hollowore clashed its claws together impatiently. All three of the mortals took a hasty step back.
“The alpha will obey, or another will be found that can,” the Vitalus growled at them, “All subspecies will observe a general truce during this period. This is a temporary addition to the Great Game. Those that serve Us well shall be rewarded. We shall also enlist the aid of your terrestrial cousins, as well as the Cataphract clans to replenish the soil, and lone Saints who shall rove beyond the quarantine zone.”
Menash’s unease deepened. The Vitalus was bringing together four different kindreds, some of which killed each other on sight, in a move that reeked of desperation. The kindreds had worked together before, of course, on complex projects such as altering rainfall patterns and husbanding struggling species, but never so many at once. This was bound to end in bloodshed.
“Those that break the truce shall be chemically neutered, and their gilt helix purged from the existing gene pool,” the Vitalus continued, “You will maintain this quarantine until We have dealt with the Engine.”
“It is understood!” Menash and Vezda said at once.
“But what about Zildiz?” Racek blurted out, again risking his entire lineage by speaking out of turn, “She might still be alive out there!”
“He’s right,” Menash found himself agreeing despite his dislike for Racek, “She’s our alpha, after all. It would be a shame to lose her helix. Do we have your leave to send out a party to recover her?”
The Vitalus pondered the request for a moment, then crushed his hopes when it said:
“Regrettable, the loss of the female. Valuable stock for the breeding program. But it has not responded to Our signals—it is unlikely to have survived. The female Vezda shall take up its duties as alpha.”
“But Your Benevolence—” both men cried out in unison.
“It is decided. She has risked the Great Game, and must abide by its outcome. To speak more on this would risk Our displeasure,” the god warned.
“We can’t spare the manpower anyway,” Vezda pointed out, trying not to look too pleased at Its decision. She darted a quick look at Menash, long enough for him to see the selfish desire festering in her heart. He turned away from her in disgust, baring his blades by the slightest of margins to let her know what he thought of her, then asked the Vitalus:
“But what of the Engine’s seedpod? Should we search for it?”
“Negative!” the Vitalus boomed, its node reinforcing the word with a spike of activity that sent needles of pain spearing into their heads, “We shall complete this task. It is dangerous and can be entrusted to no other.”
The Hollowore angled its massive head towards the cavernous ceiling, armored flaps on its back sliding aside as it unfurled sets of rigid sixty-meter wings. A wide sphincter on the roof gaped open and Menash saw the evening sky awash with the stars in their milky multitudes. The Hollowore took a deep breath through the spiracles lining its thorax and abdomen, pumping air through a pair of hollow tube-like protuberances under either of its wings. Menash and the others quickly scampered to a safe distance. Seconds later there was a scream of chemical combustion and the Hollowore rose into the evening skies, leaving behind a long trail of superheated gases, the backwash almost knocking Menash off his feet. They watched as the Hollowore gained altitude, making straight for the columns of billowing smoke on the horizon, a sweeping shadow blotting out the light of the heavens.
The Vitalus’ mental presence receded with it. When it did not return, they took it to mean that they were dismissed and likewise took flight and headed for Chthonis. They were hardly out of the Dawning Chamber when Vezda seized the scrawny Racek by his wings and anchored her feet right up against his back.
“Funny little man, are you? Crack jokes at my expense again, and I’ll see to it that you’ll never fly again!” she snarled, yanking hard. Racek yelled as his wings threatened to pop out of their sockets.
“Stop!” Menash said, ramming his shoulder into her and knocking the smaller male out of her grip. Vezda rounded on him, blades out and her tail aquiver with rage.
“As for you! No one should speak to the Vitalus like that!” she shrieked, “Much less gainsay It! Are you trying to get us all killed? It is the source and continuance of life itself—”
“But the Vitalus doesn’t always consider the individual scale of things,” Menash reasoned, controlling his rising anger as he tried to defuse the situation, “Its scope of thought is beyond ours. Therefore it is up to us to look after each other. None of us can win the Great Game alone. We need people like Zildiz for the species to prosper.”
“Your logic is flawed,” Vezda spat, “Empathy is a sham devised by the selfish action of the gene, which seeks only to preserve itself. At least I am honest enough to look after my own interests. Your obsession with that whore is misplaced. Heed my words, Menash. What happened today marks a change in the Great Game. Only the ruthless will reap the rewards of this era. Think on that, and act accordingly.”
The female darted off in another direction, leaving the two behind.
“Thanks,” Racek said, rubbing at his sore shoulders, “My, my. She’s really taking her promotion very seriously, isn’t she?”
“This doesn’t make us friends,” Menash said shortly, “We share a common interest, that’s all.”
The two flew together in silence for a time, the dark canopy unrolling below their feet. Racek had always been a bitter rival for Zildiz’s affections. In the mating seasons he and Menash had flown the damsel-dance against each other countless times, racing and dogfighting at top speed through the dense bamboo thickets in an effort to impress her.
But each time she had always chosen Menash. Naturally. He was the stronger, the braver, the son of the Scourge who had slain hundreds on his lightning raids into Leaper territory. Their pairings had been brief and passionate, yet she had always laughed at the end and gone on her merry way, a rose petal borne on a scented breeze, the dalliance as meaningless to her as other concerns like eating or breathing.
But not to him. Right now, all that mattered was her. And Racek was the only one in the whole wide world who knew exactly how he felt. Did that mean he could be trusted? Menash considered the enormity of what he was about to do, and wavered. Then he saw her face in the darkness of his home, the face she wore when they were all alone together, and he took a deep breath before breaking the silence, saying:
“I’ll be in charge of the quarantine. I can arrange for you to disappear for a few days. I can have one of the younglings mimic your magnetosynaptic signal, make it seem like you’re with the rest of us.”
“You’d do that? For me?” Racek said in astonishment.
“Hah. Not for you,” Menash laughed softly. He looked Racek straight in the eyes and continued: “What’ll it be, then?”
If he so much as hesitates, I’ll have to kill him here and now, Menash told himself.
“Why, yes. Yes, of course!” the little brown male said vigorously.
“Good,” Menash sighed with relief, “She’ll be very grateful to whoever brings her home. I’d do it myself, but as an alpha I can’t risk being seen as disobedient.”
“Then why give me this chance? After all that’s passed between us?”
“I should have thought that was obvious,” Menash replied. Racek digested that for a bit, then out of nowhere said:
“If I find her—when I find her—I’ll tell her exactly who it was that sent me.”
“That won’t be necessary.”
“Bah! Just so we’re even, that’s all,” Racek grinned, his mouthparts slanting askew.
“Thanks, I guess. I’d…I’d appreciate that. You do understand what we’re risking here, right?”
“Sure. We’ll be total genetic write-offs if we’re caught. But it’s not like I wanted to see tiny ugly Raceks running around the house anyway. What about you, though? Why are you putting your neck on the chopping block?”
“You know why,” Menash said quietly, his thoughts still lingering on her face.
“Yes,” Racek agreed with a wistful air, “Yes, I suppose I do.”
And the pair spoke no more until they reached Chthonis.
Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road

So I (23M) recently ended my first long-term relationship because I caught my boyfriend (23M) on Grindr.
Long story short: I found that my boyfriend had lied to me about being on Grindr after bringing up a profile that I suspected was linked to him in the early months of our relationship. I told him it was okay if he was on there because we weren’t exclusive at the time. He denied it, and I let it go. However, my suspicions still lingered, and three months later, after we became exclusive, I found evidence that the profile was indeed linked to him and that he also had a Jack’d account, where he had posted a shirtless photo of himself in his underwear.
When I brought it up to him the second time, he confessed that he was on there looking for friends, and that he had used it to meet up and keep in contact with two individuals on the app. I don’t know what they did exactly because I was too foolish and too devastated to not inquire any details. I just felt so heartbroken because up to that point, I thought he was honest and transparent about everything in his life. He would even tell me about the uncomfortable romantic/sexual advances he would receive from other men in public. So, it just hurts that he decided to lie and hide something this big from me, notwithstanding the fact that nothing about those profiles gave the impression that he was looking for friends. He had it explicitly listed that he was looking for hookups on both apps and this is quite literally what he had written in his profile:
“If our conversations don't bang, neither will our bodies. Warning: I may cause inappropriate thoughts and feelings of attraction. Proceed with caution.”
I didn’t know what to believe. What he told me didn’t match up with what I saw, so I decided that it was best to end things with him.
After the breakup, we’ve connected a few times to talk about what happened. During our first post-breakup call, he told me that he was very angry about the breakup because he’s forgiven me for things in the past, but I couldn’t forgive him for this one; that he loved me so much, but I didn’t love him enough to give him grace? He even told me that I’d never find someone like him again. He genuinely believes that he deserved the benefit of the doubt, even though what he did tore the foundation of our relationship apart.
Since then, he’s been trying to flip things and make me feel like I was in the wrong, and for a moment, I actually did believe it. I had to go to therapy because I was ridden with so much guilt, and he made me believe that all along, I was just trying to catch him in a mistake. He even blamed me for the way I handled things, and how I reacted.
And for the record, I was always honest and upfront with him. Before we became exclusive, he asked if I was on Grindr, and I told him yes. I had little use for it, but I showed him my profile and everything, and deleted it because he expressed that he was uncomfortable with it (all while he was still on there, btw).
How would guys feel in this situation, and what do you think of it?

Again,
I apologize for yet another "Sim Racing PC Build" thread. Posted in the PC Build forum as well.
I am a 53 year old semi-retired gentleman with a recent medical diagnosis that will require surgery and put me out of commission for a few months (Big C).
I am completely new to sim racing but have always been interested in it. Always wanted to try a racing sim and feel it will be a good project and escape in the coming weeks/months while I am preparing and in recovery and somewhat out of commission.
I have done a ton of research on Sim Racing itself and pretty I'm pretty well versed in all the different hardware needed, direct drive bases, load cell pedals, etc. but still a few questions on the PC side.
I want to build a PC that will allow for eventual 1440p / 165HZ with triple monitors and possible VR down the road. Wanted to start in on the cheap with maybe just PS5/GT7/G923 but the wheel and pedal set just seems like a toy (no offense intended).
I'm pretty tech savvy and understand all the PC components needed but just don't want to overspend where it won't give me a any bang for my buck. I know I need a higher end GPU/CPU but specifics (NVIDIA vs AMD, CPU/motherboard combo, cooling req, case with sufficient airflow, power supply min wattage, etc.) are what I need assistance with.
Just a lot to research and narrow down with the time I have left.
Was hoping someone can advise on what specific components I should use and where best to get them from. I don't have a Microcenter nearby though one is coming to Northern CA this year (Santa Clara, CA) but not until the end of the year.
Thinking a $1800 to $2200 budget to play all the usual popular titles (ACC, iRacing, etc.) but expecting to have to stretch a bit more (4090 GPU?) to cover future/VR. Though without trying VR yet, I suspect I will be more bothered by VR than immersed. We'll see.
If the experts can help with component selection and sourcing, I would greatly appreciate it to save some time and get this project going.
Thanks so much to all.

Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road
The Colonel’s tent was leaking again. Ordinarily such a mistake would’ve earned his adjutant an hour-long dressing down and possibly, if the Colonel was feeling particularly enthusiastic, a sharp backhanded slap across the face. After all, a leaky tent could hardly be said to be hermetically sealed, now could it? But this affront to his sensibilities paled in comparison to the utter travesty and exemplar of sheer incompetence that now sat before his desk, a sagging wreck of a man in the tattered uniform of a Fleet officer. Colonel Moch Leelan curled his lip at it and barked:
“Once more, if you please. And I don’t want this on record,” he added, darting a look at the clerk poised to take dictation in the corner of the room, “Not a word of this gets out. There’s been enough of a snafu already, and the brass won’t stop shitting down my neck about Mound 13 and the loss of Prota’s pestilential pet project. Did you hear me, man? I said start from the beginning!”
Outside the monsoon was intensifying into one of those proverbial downpours which prompted doddering old men to remark that it was ‘raining cats and dogs’, though what either a cat or a dog were, none could now say. A trickle of it seeped in like a string of winking glass beads, catching the orange glow of the gas lamp and turning into sparks of amber, into seeds of flame. They dripped on the bald man seated on the low footstool, and he raised his head to meet the scornful gaze of the Colonel, grey eyes unabashed and unafraid. He spoke then, in a hoarse voice that matched his pallid flesh and buzzard nose:
“It was the third day of reconnaissance. We were forced to abandon our pack-beasts in the mire. My assistant and I—”
“Name, rank and serial number!” Colonel Leelan interrupted, for the sole purpose of seeing the coward blink and quaver like the worm he was. But in that he was to be disappointed, for the man continued in the same flat tone:
“Sollem Deschane, Lord Navigator, 3^rd Pathfinder Regiment, serial number 18911944. We received orders from the Admiralty and Fleet Command to reconnoiter the area around the enemy concentration designated as Mound Euler. I was to lead a platoon of twenty handpicked volunteers across the river Foss at its lowest point, then scale the outlying cliffs to get better readings as we mapped out the approaches to Mound Euler. It was the third day of reconnaissance. We were forced to abandon our myropods in the mud and carry our own gear. My assistant navigator Rene Louvoture and I noticed a discrepancy with our visually confirmed data and the aerial sketches of the Aeronautical Division. We quickly worked out that the enemy concentration far exceeded initial estimates by an order of magnitude. Mound Euler is an omega-class colony the likes of which the Fleet has faced only once in its entire existence, during the Scouring of Assail. It is my belief that—”
“Leave your hysterics for later and get on to meat of things,” Leelan snapped. Deschane straightened a bit in his seat and scowled as his layers of bandages shifted. The man was practically mummified by the sheer extent of his wounds that it was a wonder he had managed to limp into the tent in the first place. But the navigator had made a point of refusing to be debriefed in his sick bed and had insisted that he be given no further pain killers. This was to prove that his report was not at all influenced by the effects of opiates, as well as to underline the supposed importance of his eyewitness account as the sole survivor of the siege of Mound 13.
But Colonel Leelan was no fool. He knew the tactic for what it was: a bit of playacting by a soon-to-be-disgraced officer, a desperate attempt to pass himself off as a tragic hero rather than the author of the most monumental military cock-up of the decade.
You may very well get that wish, Deschane, Leelan smirked inwardly. If you play your cards right. You’ll find that I can put on a pantomime as well as the next man.
Deschane regarded him cooly, replying:
“You asked for my report, sir. I am stating the facts as I understand them.”
“Understand?” Leelan guffawed, “There’s precious little to understand about this debacle! Explain to me how a routine scouting mission winds up in the loss of 5,000 men, a Rear-Admiral and an entire frontline outpost! Explain to me how you not only got every last one of your own men slaughtered, but still managed to save your own sorry arse!”
Now that had an effect on the navigator’s bearing. He dropped the holier-than-thou attitude and even pretended to dab at some moisture in corners of his eye. For a moment his mask of iron cracked and he looked tired enough to sleep for a thousand years, never to waken. Then he seemed to recall that his career was at stake and had the temerity to argue with the Colonel:
“We were given faulty intelligence. I made mistakes, I’ll admit that here and now. We should never have continued after our pack animals were trapped in the mire. The gear slowed us down in enemy territory. I can’t wash my hands of the loss of my platoon. They were the best and bravest men I ever fought with, and I will carry the shame of losing them to my grave. The fact that I am still alive when none of them are breathing is an accident that was not of my choosing. As for Mound 13, it was only a matter of time before they were discovered and dealt with. They were only two day’s travel from Mound Euler. In fact, it was miracle they managed to exist for so long undetected.”
Magnificent deflection. Colonel Leelan had to admire the snake and his flawless attempt to pass the blame onto the shoulders of the dead Rear-Admiral Prota.
Yes, I think we can make an arrangement here, the Colonel thought wryly. He waved Deschane’s prattling aside and said:
“This omega-class colony of yours. A mound so large that is beggars belief, you say? Curious, then, that such an object should have escaped your keen senses for three whole days!”
“Visibility in that terrain and climate is poor. But yes, it was another one of my errors.”
“I’m so glad that you agree,” Leelan purred, his words dripping with condescension. He reached into the drawer of his desk and took out a bottle of fermented honeydew. Uncorking it with a loud pop, he poured out two glasses and lifted one to his lips, saying:
“On a related note, it’s funny how the fog of war can obscure so many important details. Even the best commanders can lose their bearings, lose sight of the greater picture, fixate on the wrong things. Take our dearly departed Rear-Admiral Prota, for example (may she rest in the Flight Eternal). Not to speak ill of the dead, but she was assigned an entire sector for her research into enemy behavior. And what does she do with it? Cultural studies! Anthropology! As if the Amits have a culture worth sneezing at! They’ve been working with flint and wood since this primeval war of ours began, and they’ve never taken the hint. Meanwhile, we’ve finally gained the advantage of powder and artillery and mass-produceable gas masks.”
“One big push! That’s all it would take to clear the northern highlands. We have the men, the will and the technology to do it! The last thing we need is some starry-eyed academic telling us that the Amits have somehow found religion. I mean, really!” Colonel Leelan warmed to his subject, “Five thousand soldiers dedicated to safeguarding some blessed cave paintings, right on the frontlines, too! What a waste. Like you said: if you hadn’t led the Amits directly to them, someone else would have down the line.”
“We took steps to ensure they wouldn’t follow us. We tried, but they found the fear-death pheromones—”
“Steps?” Leelan pressed him mercilessly, “What steps, exactly?”
Deschane looked away and said nothing. Leelan sniffed, continuing:
“I thought so. As I was saying, Prota’s project was doomed from the start. It was an ill-conceived, harebrained mission, and now the Admiralty will have to explain to Fleet Command and the general public how it lost an entire regiment in the name of some woman’s flight of fancy. But there is a silver lining to all this. Seeing as how we recaptured what was left of Mound 13 within mere hours of it falling, we think there’s a way to salvage the situation after all. You can be part of that, Deschane. Every victory may have its price, but it must also have its heroes.”
Leelan sipped his honeydew, waiting for the offer he’d made to sink in. Deschane smiled, a humorless crack in his granite features.
“You’re going to make me a hero?” he asked. Leelan nudged the other glass towards him, shrugging:
“And why not? Someone has to wear the medals. ‘Lone Survivor of Desperate Last Stand’,” Leelan exclaimed, dramatically forecasting the future headlines, “He tried to warn them, but did they listen? You get the rest, I imagine. We’ll have to improve some of the details, of course. Like how it was the 3^rd Pathfinder Regiment which held back the flood of Amits in the final hour and ignited the fortress’ ammo depot—”
“We never did that,” Deschane objected, rudely cutting off Leelan’s train of thought, “It was the Divine Engine. I saw it with my own eyes. It broke out of Mound 13 and slaughtered the enemy.”
Leelan sighed.
“Not this again. Deschane, I’d appreciate it if you’d save your hallucinations for the regimental shrink. Think, man! The honor of our unit is at stake here. You have a chance to redeem the men of your platoon, even if you can never truly redeem yourself.”
“I saw it,” Deschane growled, and for a moment Leelan almost reached for his ceremonial saber hanging by its belt on his coatrack, “Sir, it left footprints the size of—”
“For heaven’s sake, you witless worm, the earthquake was felt all the way in the Southern Delta! Not very big one, but certainly enough to account for the avalanches and landslides that took place around Mound 13, not to mention the sinkhole we found you snoring in! It’s certainly not the first time an uncontrolled detonation triggered a seismic event. Deschane, I’ll only say this once: either you get your story straight or by thunder, I’ll bury you so deep in shit you’ll start to think you’re made of it! And you are! If you breathe a word of this delirious vision of yours to the press, you’ll not only receive no medals, but I’ll have you court-martialed faster than you can say ‘diddly-squat’. Which is precisely what you’ll be left with unless you jump like a good boy and ask how high. No honor, no rank, no reputation, no pension. Nothing! Do you understand?”
Colonel Leelan wrathfully thrust the glass at Deschane, spilling most of it in the process.
“Well, do you?”


Deschane hobbled out of the tent, escorted by a pair of grenadiers in fluffy white shakos. They sealed the adhesive lining of the tent airlock after him and the Navigator went on his way, the taste of honeydew lingering on his tongue like a bitter poison. He lifted his mask and hawked up a gob of spit that eloquently described his opinion of the colonel, wiping his scowling mouth with the back of his hand.
Ven was waiting for him with the crutches, a young and rather portly corporal with apple cheeks and a worried, pouting mouth. She helped Deschane as he made the slow and painful walk across the encampment to his field tent, the lord navigator deep in thought. Along the way they cut across the central avenue of the camp where a seemingly endless artillery train was lumbering its way up from the south and curving around the broad talus skirts of Gorgo Plateau, teams of scuttling myropods hitched to six or twelve-pounder guns, their hundreds of tiny legs threshing the soil into a quagmire. Behind them, plodding dejectedly into the rapidly liquefying mud, were ranks upon rank of fresh colonial levees, their brand-new sealant suits creaking loudly at the joints as they made what for most of them would be their first expedition into the surface world.
And what a foray it would prove to be. Almost two hundred thousand men amd women were mustered here at the edge of civilization, poised on the cusp of what was to be the largest surface offensive in recorded history. The Fleet had arrived in the Northern Hinterlands, and it had come to conquer.
"Gangway!" the levees hollered at Ven as she tried to cut a path for Deschane through the line, "Can't you see we's marching 'ere, ya stoopid bint?"
"He's an officer, ain't he?" she screamed back, pointing at the navigator.
Upon noticing the faded chevrons on Deschane's shoulders some of them clumsily snapped to attention, stopping in their tracks. Their comrades behind them, oblivious to this turn of events, bowled right into them, causing a minor stampede. Men and women cursed as they dropped their pristine muskets, never fired in the heat of battle, into the churning soup at their feet, or themselves went sprawling on their hands and knees. Baton-wielding sergeants descended on the mess, screaming for them to get back up, generously assisting them with a boot to the rump or a smack on the side of the head. Deschane looked back at the display for a long moment, as if considering something. Abruptly he grunted at Ven and they continued on their way to the outskirts where the Pathfinders were billeted.
She waited until they were inside the tent and Deschane was back in his sick bed, the navigator turning his back to her in stony silence. Cautiously, she ventured:
“What now, sir?”
“Draw up a list of volunteers,” he rasped, “But do it on the sly. We’re going back out there."
"Very good, sir," Ven squeaked, and went scurrying out of the navigator's chambers, sealing the tent flap softly behind her. She knew that tone and what it signified: the lord navigator had made up his mind, and heaven help whoever would stand in his way.
Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road