My ADHD has been out of control the past 12 months and I've fallen so behind at work. I'm on a performance improvement plan and my outcome meeting is tomorrow. I had a huge backlog that I'm meant to have caught up on - I've done a bunch of it but still have a lot left. I got 3 hours of sleep last night due to stress and rather than being motivated by the deadline today I've been in total paralysis mode.
It's 4pm and I've done nothing all day, the meeting is tomorrow and if I haven't fulfilled the PIP im likely to be fired. I've taken my meds as normal (60mg vyvanse and top ups of adderall) but it hasn’t helped, and I'm so anxious I had to take some valium too. Now I don't know what to do, I think I need to just take a heap more of my medication and hope that I can stay up late enough tonight to get this done, it's over 5 hours worth and I'm so exhausted given the poor sleep last night. My eyes and head and body hurt and my chest feels tight.
The past 12 months have been so unmanageable with my meds not working the way they used to and I am so ashamed of where I've gotten myself, and angry at myself for doing nothing again today and probably getting myself fired. I have never struggled like this before in my whole life. My next psychiatrist appointment isnt until July (which was the earliest I could get a appointment), im upset that work has been so reluctant to provide any accommodations for my ADHD (and autism) despite having proof of diagnosis on file.
Thank you all for listening. if anyone has any suggestions or strategies I would appreciate that too, so much

heyo :) Didn't think I could, but I scripted an entire episode :D I like it - hope you too ^{^} Enjoy :)
(this episode is set in season 2 and based on theories and assumptions - and also starring some OCs XD for this episode, the entourage of Vincent Thorpe aka his bodyguards Cedric and Barnes and butler Davis)
Scene: Weathervane. Lucas is working behind the counter when he notices a lot of traffic noise. He looks out the side window front and sees a queue of cars heading for Nevermore. He sighs tristly, and turns back to his work with a somber expression.
Cut to the courtyard of the school. The group is already seated at their table – around them, the long ones for parent day are already being arranged.
Wednesday: I didn’t think they’d do another parent day so soon.
Enid: Well, they probably think the students can use seeing their families right now.
Bianca: (gloomy, not looking up from her phone) Most of them for sure.
Xavier: (looks at her, compationaletly) Is your mother coming?
Bianca: (coldly) I guess I really misjudged her. (her face twitches a little, as if she was holding back tears to some degree)
Xavier: (looks at her for another moment) Well… I can keep you company for sure today, since dad won’t show up. He didn’t even bother with a text this time.
Bianca: (looking up from her phone) That’s weird.
Xavier: (shrugs) I guess he decided I’m old enough now to know how things go. (he chuckles snidely) But I guess he really does have an appointment … maybe business partners, maybe some... pretty company. Who knows. (snorts) Do you know the difference between the two?
Ajax: (cringes) Please no.
Wednesday: (not looking up from her book) The pretty company have limits what they do for money.
The table takes a moment, then breaks down in giggles. Wednesday smiles a little.
Xavier: (smirks, points at her, approving this punchline) Hm. It’s actually their outfits when they try to get on his lab.
They chuckle a little again.
Xavier: (sighs) He’d rather have someone else sitting on his that place his own behind on a bench at this stupid school for sure.
Bianca: (warningly) Xavier.
Xavier: (angrily) What? It’s true! Anything’s more important that his useless son’s dumb parent day.
A voice behind him: Oh, I would never put it this way, dear boy.
Xavier freezes. He slowly turns around to where the others are looking. His father is standing at a gateway nearby, flanked by two bodyguards, smiling at him.
Xavier: What…?
Vincent: My son.
He gets up and walks over to the trio, bewildered. Around him, some other parents are eyeing his father, strangely concerned.
Xavier: Why are you here?
Vincent: (chuckles) Why, it’s parent day. I came to see you.
Xavier: (stuttering) Y-yeah, I … I guess … b-but…
Vincent wants to say something more, but his phone rings – it’s the overture of Swan Lake. He sighs and takes the call.
Vincent: (stepping away) Excuse me.
He leaves with one of his bodyguards. The other and Xavier stay behind as he walks away, looking after him until he’s far enough away and busy talking. Then they turn to each other, hugging briefly, but tightly.
Xavier: Ced!
Cedric: (chuckles) How are you slugger.
Xavier: (smiles, pats his back as he lets go) Pretty good, I suppose.
Cedric: (turning to their table) Is this the new crowd?
Xavier: Yeah, erm – that’s Enid (she waves), Eugene (waves too) and Wednesday (doesn’t move, just stares at him).
Cedric: Yes, let’s see – (pointing at them) the nice new roommate, and Ajax’ girlfriend, and (chuckles) Addams, of course.
Xavier: (rolls his eyes) Come on now.
Cedric: What? I know who she is.
Wednesday: Does he talk about other things currently?
Cedric: (shrugs) You know how boys his age are.
Xavier: (groans) Why?
Cedric: Still not saying anything. You won’t be this lucky with your dad.
Xavier: (looks at him, concerned) … I’m in trouble, right?
Cedric: (sighs) You think?
Bianca: This isn’t our fault, if he asks. We try to keep him out of it.
Wednesday: It’s true.
The others nod. Xavier rolls his eyes.
Cedric: I figured that, don’t worry. (smiles at them)
Him and Xavier exchange a look, Cedric shaking his head at him a little, but his expression remains gentle.
Xavier: (shurgs) Boys my age do dumb things, right? Who would hold that against me?
Vincent: (calls from the hallway) Xavier!
Cedric: (looks over at him, then back at Xavier) You know who.
Xavier sighs, then walks over to his father with Cedric. Before he can say anything however, Vincent interrupts.
Vincent: I’d like to see your new art.
Xavier: (sighs) Sure.
They walk away.
The group looks on. Enid leans over to Bianca and Ajax.
Enid: It’s bad, right?
They nod slowly.
Esther Sinclair: (calling from nearby) Enid!
Enid: (sighs)
Thing: (pats her hand)
Esther: (walks into the courtyard, smiling) There’s my little she-wolf!
Enid: (gets up, smiling – Ajax follows her)
Gomez: (coming in next to her) We must have the same daughter. (to Wednesday) Mia lupita!
Wednesday: (smiles a little as her parents and Pugsley enter the courtyard, and gets up to greet them as well)
Esther hugs Enid tightly. She eyes Ajax as he greets Enid’s father Murray, shaking his hand. Ajax turns to her as well as Enid hugs her dad – she smiles, but before he can say anything, his phone buzzes.
Ajax: Oh, my moms will be at the parking lot in a minute. (he kisses Enid on the cheek and walks off) Excuse me. Was a pleasure to meet you. (nods to them) Ma'am. Sir.
Enid’s parents smile at him, but Esther’s drops very quickly after he’s left.
Eugene: (sighs, turns to Bianca, who’s looking at her phone tristly) You wanna get another coffee from the cafeteria before the big storms?
Bianca: (sighs) Why not. Maybe it’ll be bitter enough today to give us a proper gastritis. Or just make us sick. We could use that, right?
They chuckle a little, then get up to leave.

TLDR; friend believes I’m being financially abused and should reach out for help. I’m unsure if that’s actually the case. Not really sure how to tell.
Context - I had been living with my ex for almost two years, above the pub/restaurant he was the manager of. Due to living there, the only thing we HAD to pay was council tax. Any other bills were what we wanted (car finance, phone bill, Netflix etc). I took this opportunity to go back to college for a year, and work two days a week. Working two days a week was enough to cover my bills, and my ex said he would pay the council tax, which was reduced by 25% due to me being a student. This is a long story.
The situation - £5,000 went missing from the pub. Apparently the bag split when it was picked up and taken to the bank (a company comes to do this). While the money was being recovered, my ex had to cover £5,000 until it was all accounted for, as apparently it was in his contract. He came to me asking to borrow £3,000 as he didn’t have enough to cover it all. I reluctant lent it to him, and got it in writing that regardless of the outcome, he would give me the £3,000 back. The money was never recovered.
At this time we were about to go abroad on holiday. The £2,000 he had to give to the pub was meant to pay for the rest of the holiday (deposit paid). He convinced me that they would get the money back and if I paid for the holiday, he would then cover what he owed for the holiday. Stupidly I agreed and paid the £2,000. AFTER I had paid and came back from holiday, he then explained to me he had absolutely no money now until payday (few weeks away). He couldn’t even buy food for his child when she stayed with us, which is something I then also covered. This was August time.
In November, we were due to take his daughter to Disney, he told me a week before we were going that we were driving. Up until this point, I was told we were flying and flights were booked. I told him we cannot drive to Disney as he has over £1,000 worth of working needing doing to his car, low break fluid, an engine malfunction, worn tyres and it was just too dangerous to even drive his child there. His daughter knew about Disney and it had already been rearranged several times. So I told him I can lend him money to take her and hire a car to drive. He agreed. During the same conversation I told him to get his banking up so we can work out where all his money is going, considering he earned over £2000 a month, had barely any outgoings, yet was always poor. He was very reluctant but finally did. Turns out he was spending a lot of money on only fans. Obviously I was devastated and didn’t lend him money for Disney.
Two days later, I received a letter stating council tax hadn’t been paid for the entire year. I then found out he has a CCJ (county court judgement) and due to this, the council sent bailiffs after me as my name was also on the council tax, and they didn’t see any point in going after him as he already had debt. This was another £1,500 (to cover the council tax and bailiff company fees).
Please don’t ask why I didn’t leave at this point, I’m kicking myself for not doing so.
In January, he had another disciplinary (first being the missing money) and lost his job. I won’t even attempt to explain what happened, I still have no idea. Regardless, we had less four weeks for him to find a new job and find us somewhere to live. He did apply for jobs, and started one about 5 weeks later. As for somewhere to live however, I ended up having to do it while working and studying for my exam, while he spent most of the time gaming until 4am, leaving me to sort out everything. It was all very last minute but I managed to find us a house, big enough for us, his child and for him to have a man cave/office. Due to the CCJ, he wasn’t accepted unless his parents were guarantors.
I told him I want no bills in my name (apart from the rent), so if he misses payments, then i want it to be his issue. Come to getting WiFi - he couldn’t because of the CCJ. He came up to me, with the WiFi person on the phone, telling me to give my consent to have it in my name. I asked him if we could have a chat about it first. He told me that the guy is on the phone ready, right now, to get it all set up, and that if I didn’t do this, then I wouldn’t have internet to study for my exam. Due to me being autistic, I heard that, panicked and agreed. Stupid, I know.
He decided to start doing Amazon flex (deliveries for Amazon), and he told me that what he made off that, he would give to me (I haven’t seen a penny). He called me one day saying he can’t get onto his monzo app to send himself money, so I had to send him money for petrol for him to do deliveries. For the first time, I said no. He told me that if I didn’t, then he couldn’t work and get paid to give me money. I still said no and told him to ask his mum. He then didn’t work.
He admitted to me in message that he was reluctant to pay me back in case I ended the relationship. I then decided to end the relationship anyway and am having to live with him until the lease is up in August. We came to an agreement that instead of me paying my half of the rent/bills, he would cover it and I would take that amount off of what he owes me.
Rent is meant to come out of his account each month, but I’ve been receiving emails and texts stating the rent hasn’t been paid. He keeps telling me it’s an issue due to the reference number and that it’s sorted. I had another email yesterday saying we’re 14 days over due on rent. I called the estate agents and they said it still hasn’t been paid. Ex is telling me it has been paid, I’ve asked him to show me on his banking app that the transaction has gone out. He is flat out refusing saying what he does with his money is not my business. I’ve tried explaining that he owes me a few thousand pound and that the rent payment is my business.
I’ve had a friend tell me that this is financial abuse and that I need to seek help before things escalate. The only time things got physical was when I had his phone trying to budget and came across the only fans payment. He tried to grab his phone off me, but I moved as I tried to see how far back the payments go, and I ended up being pushed to the floor (he’s 6foot 6inches and I’m 5foot 4inches for context). He’s very good at gaslighting and manipulating me. Am I being dumb or is this financial abuse?
Sorry for this being all over the place.

I (33f) with secure / anxious attachments was dating my ex (38m) for 6.5 years. He has a avoidant attachment, I think fearful, but not 100% sure. We live(d) together for 5 years, in his country close to his friends.
We talked about children, moving away where I can find my circle of people etc, but it was always hard for him to put me first. I kept hearing about "loosing freedom" having to make "sacrifices", you know the drill. You also know that it was not him doing these sacrifices, but me.
He had all the freedom in the world, going on boys holidays, parties alone, and me travelling solo too. I always honoured his need for space and did the same for me (I am an introvert) and not demanding attention when away.
We were going to therapy 6 months before the break up and he was open to change. The therapy highlighted my will to work on things and his to shut down. The therapist said I am in love with the fantasy, when he is hot, but his real self is this shut down man.
Over 2 weeks ago, we had an "argument" about him not updating his CV for 6 months (needed in order for us to move) as we planned to move before summer and also him not communicating with me that he is thinking to start the process after summer. Mind you it's May already.
It resulted in him going away for 2 weeks, planning his escape from the relationship. When he came back, emotions came back, he was very loving and "unsure" again. Slowly he became more cold every day until Tuesday we had the last therapy session. I remained loving towards him to be his safe place. The therapist said maybe we can have time apart, but he said no, he is exhausted and we broke up officially.
I was giving it all until that point, but started putting all my energy into me straight after. We came home and he was sobbing a lot, I wasn't. The next day (yesterday) I started looking for new places to live and arranged a viewing on Saturday, moving in June. The apartment is everything I am looking for.
When I came home yesterday, he left me a note saying he left the house (I knew that already as we talked about him spending time with his friends since I have nowhere to go) but that he would like to give the time apart a chance and that he still loves me.
He doesn't know about my apartment lined up, he probably thinks he has time to be apart, but I don't. I would if he had told me a day before, at the therapy. I am not opposed to seeing things out later, but I don't want to "wait" for him AGAIN to make up his mind and losing this opportunity - I don't have friends I could stay with around and I am moving with a cat, which makes things harder.
I texted him I appreciate the note and can't give him any response yet, and he texted back he didn't expect any, that it will answer itself naturally.
Shall I make him aware of the apartment, that time is ticking or just go with my flow, move and deal with consequences later? We have furniture to sell, shared accounts, bill, insurances...

SEO Meta Description: Discover 15 effective remarketing strategies to boost conversions for your digital marketing course in Raipur, Chhattisgarh. Learn how to optimize your campaigns and drive more enrollments.

Introduction

In the competitive landscape of digital marketing, attracting and retaining potential students for a digital marketing course in Raipur, Chhattisgarh, requires innovative strategies. Remarketing, a powerful tool that allows you to re-engage users who have previously interacted with your brand, can significantly enhance your conversion rates. This comprehensive guide explores 15 remarketing strategies tailored to boost enrollments for digital marketing courses in Raipur. By leveraging these tactics, you can create targeted, personalized campaigns that effectively convert interest into action.

What is Remarketing?

Definition and Importance

Remarketing is a digital marketing technique that targets users who have previously visited your website or interacted with your content but did not complete a desired action, such as enrolling in a course. It involves displaying tailored ads to these users as they browse other websites, use mobile apps, or search on Google, reminding them of your offerings and encouraging them to return and convert.

Types of Remarketing

There are several types of remarketing, including:

• Standard Remarketing: Displaying ads to past visitors as they browse websites and use apps in the Google Display Network.
• Dynamic Remarketing: Showing personalized ads that include products or services that users viewed on your site.
• Remarketing Lists for Search Ads (RLSA): Customizing search ads for users who have previously visited your site during their Google searches.
• Video Remarketing: Displaying ads to users who have interacted with your videos or YouTube channel.

How Remarketing Works

Remarketing works by placing a small piece of code, called a pixel or tag, on your website. This code collects data about visitors and their interactions. When these users leave your site without converting, the collected data allows you to serve them targeted ads across various platforms, nudging them to return and complete the conversion process.

Benefits of Remarketing

Increased Conversions

Remarketing targets users who have already shown interest in your digital marketing course in Raipur, making them more likely to convert compared to new visitors. By reminding them of your course offerings, you can significantly boost your conversion rates.

Enhanced Brand Recall

Repeated exposure to your brand through remarketing ads helps keep your digital marketing course top of mind. This increased brand recall can lead to higher conversion rates as users are more likely to choose a familiar brand.

Cost-Effective Advertising

Remarketing is cost-effective because it targets a specific audience that has already expressed interest in your offerings. This focused approach reduces wasted ad spend and increases your return on investment (ROI).

Why Remarketing is Crucial for Digital Marketing Courses?

Targeted Advertising for Course Enrollment

Remarketing allows you to create highly targeted ads for potential students who have visited your course pages but haven’t enrolled. By addressing their specific interests and concerns, you can increase the likelihood of conversion.

Building Trust with Potential Students

Repeated interactions through remarketing ads build trust and familiarity with your brand. This trust is crucial for potential students deciding to invest in a digital marketing course in Raipur, Chhattisgarh.

Personalized Marketing Messages

Remarketing enables you to deliver personalized messages based on user behavior. For instance, you can show ads highlighting course benefits or testimonials to users who have viewed specific course details but haven’t enrolled yet.

Strategy 1: Google Ads Remarketing

Creating Remarketing Lists

Google Ads allows you to create remarketing lists based on various criteria, such as users who visited specific pages or took specific actions on your site. These lists help you target ads to the right audience.

Setting Up Remarketing Campaigns

To set up a Google Ads remarketing campaign, install the Google Ads tag on your website, create your remarketing lists, and design compelling ads. Ensure your ads align with the interests and behaviors of your target audience to maximize engagement.

Strategy 2: Facebook Remarketing

Custom Audiences

Facebook Custom Audiences enable you to target ads to users who have previously interacted with your Facebook page, website, or app. This allows for highly personalized and effective remarketing campaigns.

Using Facebook Pixel

Installing the Facebook Pixel on your website helps track user behavior and build Custom Audiences. This data allows you to serve targeted ads to users who are most likely to convert, enhancing the efficiency of your campaigns.

Strategy 3: Email Remarketing

Segmentation of Email Lists

Segment your email lists based on user behavior and interactions with your website. This allows you to send targeted remarketing emails that address specific interests and concerns, increasing the chances of conversion.

Crafting Effective Remarketing Emails

Create compelling remarketing emails that highlight the benefits of your digital marketing course in Raipur. Include testimonials, course highlights, and special offers to entice users to enroll.

Strategy 4: Dynamic Remarketing

Personalized Ads Based on User Behavior

Dynamic remarketing displays personalized ads that feature the exact courses users viewed on your website. This tailored approach significantly increases the likelihood of conversion by addressing users’ specific interests.

Benefits of Dynamic Remarketing

Dynamic remarketing enhances user experience by showing relevant ads, which improves engagement and conversion rates. This strategy is particularly effective for promoting specific courses and modules.

Strategy 5: Social Media Remarketing

Using Instagram and LinkedIn

Leverage Instagram and LinkedIn for remarketing by creating engaging ads that target users who have interacted with your content on these platforms. Use visually appealing images and compelling copy to capture attention.

Crafting Engaging Social Media Ads

Design social media ads that highlight the unique selling points of your digital marketing course in Raipur. Use testimonials, success stories, and course benefits to persuade users to enroll.

Strategy 6: Video Remarketing

Using YouTube for Remarketing

YouTube is an excellent platform for video remarketing. Create engaging video ads that target users who have watched your videos or visited your YouTube channel.

Creating Compelling Video Ads

Develop video ads that showcase the value of your digital marketing course. Include student testimonials, course highlights, and a strong call to action to drive conversions.

Strategy 7: Content Remarketing

Utilizing Blogs and Articles

Retarget users who have read your blog posts or articles by displaying ads that encourage them to enroll in your digital marketing course. This strategy keeps your course top of mind for potential students.

Retargeting Blog Visitors

Use remarketing ads to reach users who have visited your blog but haven’t enrolled in a course. Highlight relevant course content and benefits to persuade them to take the next step.

Strategy 8: Search Remarketing

RLSA (Remarketing Lists for Search Ads)

RLSA allows you to customize search ads for users who have previously visited your website. This ensures your ads are shown to users who are already familiar with your offerings, increasing the chances of conversion.

Optimizing Search Campaigns for Retargeting

Optimize your search campaigns by targeting specific keywords related to your digital marketing course in Raipur. Use RLSA to reach users who have shown interest in similar topics.

Strategy 9: Display Network Remarketing

Crafting Display Ads for Remarketing

Create visually appealing display ads that capture the attention of users who have previously visited your site. Use engaging images and strong calls to action to drive conversions.

Benefits of Display Network Ads

Display network ads reach users across a wide range of websites and apps, increasing your brand’s visibility and the chances of re-engaging potential students.

Strategy 10: Cross-Device Remarketing

Importance of Multi-Device Targeting

Targeting users across multiple devices ensures a seamless and consistent remarketing experience. This approach increases the chances of conversion as users interact with your ads on different devices.

Synchronizing Campaigns Across Devices

Synchronize your remarketing campaigns across desktop, mobile, and tablet devices. Ensure your ads are optimized for each platform to maximize engagement and conversions.

Strategy 11: Remarketing for App Users

Creating App User Segments

Segment your app users based on their interactions with your app. Target these segments with personalized remarketing ads that encourage them to enroll in your digital marketing course.

In-App Remarketing Strategies

Use in-app ads to re-engage users who have interacted with your app but haven’t enrolled in a course. Highlight the benefits and features of your digital marketing course to drive conversions.

Strategy 12: Remarketing with Push Notifications

Crafting Effective Push Notifications

Create compelling push notifications that remind users about your digital marketing course. Use personalized messages and timely offers to encourage users to take action.

Best Practices for Push Notification Remarketing

Follow best practices such as keeping messages concise, using clear calls to action, and timing notifications appropriately to maximize engagement and conversions.

Strategy 13: Remarketing with SMS

Using SMS for Retargeting

SMS is a direct and personal way to reach potential students. Use SMS remarketing to send targeted messages that highlight the benefits of your digital marketing course in Raipur.

Crafting Effective SMS Campaigns

Craft concise and engaging SMS messages that include a clear call to action. Offer exclusive discounts or limited-time offers to entice users to enroll.

Strategy 14: Remarketing with Affiliate Marketing

Utilizing Affiliate Networks

Partner with affiliate networks to extend the reach of your remarketing efforts. Affiliates can help promote your digital marketing course to a broader audience, increasing your chances of conversions.

Integrating Remarketing in Affiliate Campaigns

Incorporate remarketing strategies into your affiliate campaigns by providing affiliates with retargeting pixels and personalized ad creatives. This ensures a consistent and effective remarketing approach.

Strategy 15: Geotargeting in Remarketing

Using Location Data for Remarketing

Geotargeting allows you to tailor your remarketing ads based on users’ geographic locations. This is particularly useful for promoting a digital marketing course in Raipur, Chhattisgarh.

Creating Localized Remarketing Campaigns

Develop localized remarketing campaigns that highlight the benefits of enrolling in a digital marketing course in Raipur. Use location-specific messaging to appeal to potential students in the area.

Measuring the Success of Remarketing Campaigns

Key Performance Indicators (KPIs)

Track key performance indicators such as click-through rates, conversion rates, and return on ad spend to measure the success of your remarketing campaigns.

Tools for Tracking and Analysis

Use tools like Google Analytics, Facebook Insights, and third-party tracking software to analyze the performance of your remarketing campaigns. These insights will help you optimize your strategies for better results.

Challenges in Remarketing

Overcoming Ad Fatigue

Ad fatigue occurs when users see the same ads repeatedly and start to ignore them. To overcome this, regularly refresh your ad creatives and vary your messaging to keep users engaged.

Dealing with Privacy Concerns

Privacy concerns can affect the effectiveness of your remarketing campaigns. Ensure you comply with all relevant regulations and be transparent with users about how their data is used.

Best Practices for Remarketing

Ad Frequency and Timing

Monitor the frequency of your ads to avoid overwhelming users. Aim for an optimal frequency that keeps your brand top of mind without causing ad fatigue.

Crafting Compelling Ad Copy

Create compelling ad copy that resonates with your target audience. Highlight the unique benefits of your digital marketing course and include strong calls to action to drive conversions.

Conclusion

Remarketing is a powerful strategy for driving conversions for digital marketing courses in Raipur, Chhattisgarh. By implementing these 15 strategies, you can create targeted, personalized campaigns that effectively re-engage potential students and boost enrollments. Focus on creating engaging ads, tracking performance, and continuously optimizing your campaigns to achieve the best results.

FAQs

What is the most effective remarketing strategy for digital marketing courses?
The most effective strategy depends on your specific audience and goals, but dynamic remarketing often yields high conversion rates by displaying personalized ads based on user behavior.
How can I measure the success of my remarketing campaigns?
Use key performance indicators (KPIs) such as click-through rates, conversion rates, and return on ad spend. Tools like Google Analytics and Facebook Insights can help track and analyze these metrics.
What are some common challenges in remarketing?
Common challenges include ad fatigue, where users become desensitized to your ads, and privacy concerns related to data usage. Regularly updating ad creatives and ensuring compliance with privacy regulations can help address these issues.
How does geotargeting enhance remarketing campaigns?
Geotargeting allows you to tailor your ads based on users’ locations, making your campaigns more relevant and appealing to local audiences. This is particularly useful for promoting local courses like a digital marketing course in Raipur.
What are the benefits of using dynamic remarketing?
Dynamic remarketing shows personalized ads based on user behavior, leading to higher engagement and conversion rates. It enhances user experience by displaying relevant content, which increases the likelihood of conversions.
How can I avoid ad fatigue in my remarketing campaigns?
To avoid ad fatigue, regularly refresh your ad creatives and vary your messaging. Monitor ad frequency to ensure users are not overwhelmed, and experiment with different ad formats and placements to keep your campaigns engaging.

Huge content warning: The cat was a baby, and didn’t die naturally or kindly. Traumatised pre teens, teens, and adults mentioned. There is no good side. It’s horrible. I doubt anyone wants to read this, I’m mostly just needing to scream into the void
My mom is on here so if you see this hi mom. I hope I got the facts right.
I honestly just don’t know who to even vent to about this. The majority of my family was witness, minus my father who was at work, and understandably nobody really wants to talk to each other about it yet, and I’m not very good at emotion in general so.
I (17F) came home from school to this horror show. Bit of background. We got a new kitten we found abandoned at our church, who we named Weasley. She’s a small ginger kitten who we think was unable to hear. She was the most adorable thing I ever saw and even though we only had her 2 weeks, she had the whole family completely in love.
So tbh I was half asleep when the bus dropped me off so I didn’t process it fully in the moment. I came home to my sister who we will call Luna (12f) crying like I’d never heard before and considering she’s fairly emotional that’s saying something. One of my dogs, one that had a reputation for being an ass, was locked up and considering the kitten was Luna’s and she was so upset I could hear it from the living room, I got a bad feeling.
I went to Luna and sat on the bed and held her awkwardly (I’m on the spectrum and for me crying people are a bit nerve wracking. However it’s Luna so emotional constipation be damned) until she explained and it was so much worse than I assumed. I thought the cat got a bit roughed up and my mom (45F) was MIA because she took her to the vet. Nope.
Apparently grandma was taking laundry to the room where the cat is kept (Luna’s room) and my dogs got in. 3/4 were uninvolved, the other however is responsible for the particularly violent death of my few month old kitten, which my sister witnessed but was no match for a big dog, and my grandmother froze in fear.
My mother managed to get the dog away after some time which nobody can agree on how long.
My mother, too shocked to realise how bad the damage was just kinda held the cat for a bit, until my little sister pointed out while crying that the poor thing was obviously dead because its insides were outside a bit
Mom stuck Luna with grandma and took the kitten and put her in a box, which will be buried and given a proper funeral soon. I’m working on a makeshift gravestone.
That’s when I got home and was caught up after holding Luna for a while. I ended up calling my best friend because I didn’t know how to console Luna. So my best friend came to help with the emotional turmoil
I think today was the first time i heard my mother cry and be so utterly sad. It was awful but oddly bittersweet because I knew she felt the same as me and Luna do. Knowing my mom understands is always very comforting.
Thanks for letting me vent, Reddit.

Hey there. New to this so please go easy on me ha.
A little about me. I’m a very open person and like to think I have a healthy amount of life experience. I take things seriously but I try to find the light in everything. I like talking about people’s passions as well as my own. I’m very into the human experience. Open minded and non judgmental. I can be an open book one on one. I’m very into music (previous drummesinger at one point in time), got some tattoos, I like to pick heavy stuff up an put it down, I like to think my sense of humor is above par. I do what makes me feel valued professionally. And more!
Couple months ago I ended a long relationship. I’m starting to realize how much of myself I let go in those years. I’m getting back to myself and it feels good. But part of me is starting to see how much I’ve isolated myself.
That being said I’m looking to connect. Wether that’s a friendship and seeing where it goes or more. Location doesn’t matter to me.
I’m not too keen on putting too much personal information on open platforms. More than willing to verify realness and trading pics.

Here's my situation: 36yo, British citizen but spent much of my life overseas in various places. Returned to the UK in 2018 for the first time as a working adult. Subsequently, I only have 6 fully paid up years in my national insurance record and I'll need to contribute for another 29 years to receive the full state pension. That doesn't give me a lot of wiggle room, and means I would need to work every single year bar three up until state pension age to receive the full benefit, which I guess can't be guaranteed if you factor in possible unexpected illness, caring duties, moving overseas for a couple of years, etc..
I know I can buy previous missing years for around £824 each, but the deadline for that is fast approaching: from April 2025, the 13 'gap' years I have between 2006-2018 I will no longer have the option of buying.
I'm also looking to buy my first house with my partner early next year. All going to plan it would probably be just before the NI buy back deadline kicks in (and ideally before the stamp duty threshold reverts back up to the lower level...)
I'm trying to weigh up what the smartest thing to do long term/what would give the best return:

• Option1: Take ~£4000 and buy 5 missing years before I lose the option to, giving me more breathing room with the number of remaining years required to contribute (as wouldn't be constrained to working 29 of the next 32 years in the UK and would reach the 35 year NI threshold earlier). That £4000 would then be worth more in retirement than the intial 'investment', assuming I live at least 5 years past 68 which of course is not guaranteed. I also don't really believe that by the time I am of govt sanctioned "retirement age" somewhere around 2056, that the state pension will even exist, or exist in its current form. For my generation, it feels like it will be a fraction of what retirees today enjoy.
  
• Option2: Keep the £4000 in my house deposit fund. Higher deposit = better LTV = better interest rate and lower repayments. That £4000 larger deposit would save me about £7500 in total paid over the life of a 30yr loan by rough calculations and current interest rates. Also, on the ladder a bit sooner, mortgage free sooner maybe... Lower repayments mean more of my income available to invest in other things.
  
• Option3: Take the £4000 and add it to my SIPP, or some other long term S&S ISA, S&P500... let the market do the growing, hope to get 8% returns? That £4k could be £40k over 30 years.
  

Other relevant factors:

• Decent income £90kpa but self employed in semi-volatile industry (Partner has similar income but is salaried.)
• We're hoping to have a combined £85-95k deposit (exclusing fees etc) by beginning of next year, for a ~550k property. My portion of the deposit will be around £60k. I will have more to cover fees, plus an emergency savings fund.
• My current pension situation is not great for my age: £8k in a SIPP I just started 6mo ago, and about £20k in other pension pots in other countries I've lived in. I'm aggresively contributing to SIPP now and plan to continue.
• No health concerns
• No kids
• I love where I live now, but I've always enjoyed living in other countries and I can't imagine myself exlusively living/working in the UK for the next 30+ years. This is kind of the only thing that makes buying missing NI years make any sense to me - to 'buy' myself more opportunities outside of the UK during my working years.

Am I missing something really obvious? If I moved overseas for 5 years at some point in the next couple of decades, could I just voluntarily contribute NI each of those years to keep myself on track to reach the 35 year threshold? Is state pension kind of a waste of time and I'd be better investing my money/time into the sharemarket? Should I not worry about increasing my deposit by such a small amount cos inflation and property price increase eats the 'real' cost of the mortgage in the long run? Will the sun blow up before any of this is relevant and I should just enjoy my life?! Help!

Spoilers ahead…
Dear Karthik Subbaraj,
Congratulations on yet another interesting movie, and for resisting the impulse to name this one, too, after a food item. Iraivi is an unusual feminist film, in the sense that it’s seen entirely through the prism of sympathetic male characters. Your men aren’t monsters who drink or cheat on their wives or subject them to torture. They do these things, yes, but… differently. Arul (SJ Surya) drinks, but only to drown out his sense of failure – he’s a director and his film is in the cans, being held hostage by a sadistic producer. Michael (Vijay Sethupathi) has sex with Malarvizhi (Pooja Devariya), and he continues to lust after her after his marriage to Ponni (Anjali) – I love that all your women have names that suggest classical heroines, including Arul’s wife Yazhini (Kamalini Mukherjee) – but it’s a marriage he committed to in a hurry and he still hasn’t reconciled himself to it. He’s being a bastard, certainly, but he’s not a one-note villain. And the torture they inflict isn’t the stubbing-a-cigarette-into-the-wife’s-bare-arm variety. It’s more mental than physical.
So we get women who are collateral damage – and I include Arul’s comatose mother (Vadivukkarasi), and the nurse who’s not allowed to do her duty – of men being men. They’re being babies, really. Yazhini tells Arul that he should get on with his life, write another story, make another movie. He says it’s like her trying to have another child while still pregnant with their daughter. (Yes, all these men end up with girl children.) He’s a wallower – but maybe all artists are. You like to do that, don’t you Karthik? Even in a film like this, you deliver a commentary about filmmaking and the artist. Why, even Arul’s father is a sculptor, and though we never see him ill-treating his wife (thank you for sparing us the clichés of raised hands and raised voices), we’re informed that he’s responsible for her state. His son’s following the father’s footsteps. Maybe you’re trying to say that the wives of obsessed artists are doomed to become collateral damage. Your films make us think, Karthik, so thank you for that.
All your stories have at their centre a filmmaker, or at least (in the case of your first film, Pizza) a storyteller. And through them, we seem to hear your voice. “Works of art should not be in places where they are not respected.” “Namma padam pesanum, naama pesa koodadhu.” You compare masala movies to a massage with a happy ending. (I laughed, but please don’t judge me when I say I rather like massages with happy endings – I refer to masala movies, of course.) We even get a line of dialogue about Dolby Atmos. (What will the B/C-centre audience make of this, Karthik? But then you don’t really give a shit, do you? More power to you.) And you like your insider jokes. That crass, egoistic producer who does not care about art – he reminded me of the crass producer from your earlier film, Jigarthanda. You like Rajinikanth too. You referenced Thillu Mullu in Pizza, Thalapathi in Jigarthanda, and now you have Arul singing Malayala karayoram, Michael singing Oorai therinjikitten.
Or is that more of an Ilayaraja homage? You like to keep the audience guessing, right? When the Bobby Simha character in Jigarthanda said he was a Shankar-Ganesh fan, it appeared that you were mocking the endless Ilayaraja nods in Tamil cinema, but here you are, doffing your hat to the maestro. “Raja Raja dhaan.” Arul says this… twice. (By the way, which is that nightclub which plays Maanguyile poonguyile? Do let us know.) And the reuse of Unnai thaane – first in a scene between Michael and Malarvizhi; later in a scene between Michael and Ponni – is the kind of Easter egg we come to your films for. Let me list some others, though I’ll probably need to watch the film a second (or third) time to get them all. The name of the bachelors’ quarters is Ambal Mansion – it goes with your theme and title. I didn’t get the bit about the windmills (something connected to the gust of wind that makes the row of cycles fall over in the first scene?), or why you showcased the book of Shanta Shishunala Sharif’s poems. (I confess. I Googled up that name. I can’t remember the last time a Tamil film made me Google something up. Madras, maybe.) And despite your note at the beginning that Iraivi is inspired by the works of K Balachander (he made female-centric films, but I don’t know if I’d call them feminist films), this is really more of an ode to Mani Ratnam, isn’t it? Specifically, Aayidha Ezhuthu. The three men, one of them – the impulsive one – named Michael. The film starting out as Arul’s story, then becoming Michael’s story, and finally Jagan’s (Bobby Simha) story. The finale with the woman on the train. Plus, the arc of the Madhavan-Meera Jasmine plot was essentially about being easily misled (in the case of the man) and becoming collateral damage (in the case of the woman.) And yes, the rain. All that rain. As though the skies were weeping for these women.
Am I digressing, Karthik? If I am, I’m just following your style, which is the opposite of simple and linear. As a result, I find your films longer than they need to be. (You may feel the same about my reviews.) For instance, I did not care for the scene in the nightclub where a director is felicitated. I realise it was there as a last straw for Yazhini, but it felt redundant. But I suppose they couldn’t be any other way, because you like these shaggy-dog stories that you then embellish with novelistic detail. I love the way you introduce your characters, the time you take with them. Our films lay out characters and their relationship to each other the minute we set eyes on them, but you make us wait to know how Arul is related to Jagan and where Michael fits in and so on. And when it appeared that a semblance of a plot was kicking in (something about Arul needing money to buy back his film), I dug out my phone and checked: it was a whole hour into the movie. Borrowing an image from Malarvizhi’s profession (oh wait, she’s an artist too; she’s literally an artist), it’s like daubs of paint slowly forming a bigger picture.
And you really like an expansive canvas. Not only does the crass producer have a brother, you also bring in his wife later on, to conclude a deal he began making. These segments practically form a mini-movie, with another woman left reeling by the actions of her man. Your films have this… density. They’re packed – with characters, with complications, with information doled out in bits and pieces. (A character says, “Un kitta onnu sollanum.” And instead of hearing what he has to say, we cut to someone else.) Take the scene where Michael asks Arul for money he is owed. You just need to get Michael to Arul’s antiques shop, so the next part of the plot can be staged. Arul could have told Michael to collect the money at the shop. Instead, this is what we get. Arul tells Michael to wait for a week, when he can get the 50 lakhs he is owed. Michael says he wants only 10 lakhs. Arul says he has only 8 lakhs, he’ll give the remainder later. Michael goes to Arul’s father, in the hospital. He has only 5 lakhs. And he directs Michael to the shop, to get the remaining 3 lakhs. Your signature intercutting adds to this texture, Karthik. Shots of Michael and Arul’s father in the hospital are intercut with shots of Arul hunting for booze. Shots of Michael and Jagan outside a courtroom are intercut with shots of Arul being consoled by his father. Happenings are stretched and meshed the way they would be in real life, and not compacted according to the page-per-minute requirement of screenplay-writing textbooks.
I could never predict where the film was going (win!), what these people were going to do (again, win!) –though I must admit I found this to be the weakest of your “twists.” The subplot about stealing sculptures, too, I found rather conceit-y, something half-heartedly cooked up to fit with the title and the theme, rather than something plausible, something these people would do. When Michael, here, commits murder, with a hammer, I went, “This mild-mannered chap? Really?” But then, even in Jigarthanda, I wasn’t quite convinced that the characters would do the things they did. They seemed to be puppets of a screenplay rather than credible human beings, whose actions evolve organically from who they are (or at least, who they seem to be).
But even if I am not convinced by the overall trajectory of your characters, I love how fleshed-out they are on a moment-to-moment basis. I loved the scene where Arul barges into Yazhini’s house, after their separation, on the day of her engagement to someone else. In a lesser film, she would have asked him to get out, and he’d have dug his heels in, and she’d have cooled down and… But here, she rushes straight into his arms. And you make us see why. She was frustrated, fed up with him. But she’s also confused. Was she hasty in abandoning this man? Should she move on with another man? Does she even need a man? With just this one scene, you’ve compensated for the underwritten heroine of Jigarthanda. The story arc may be Arul’s, but Yazhini registers as a fully formed character. Similarly, Michael’s arc allows for the delineation of Ponni and Malarvizhi, and through Jagan, we get glimpses of his mother, and possibly of all womanhood as viewed by a compassionate man. And then you say that women don’t need even this compassionate man (poor chap!), that they have to emancipate themselves instead of looking for a penis-wielding emancipator. What delicious irony, given that you begin the film with women talking about marriage, tying themselves to a man!
Or not, in the case of Malarvizhi, who is easily the film’s most interesting character. Her husband is dead, and she doesn’t want love anymore – only sex. When Michael buys her a diamond necklace, she gives it back to him – she can buy her own trinkets, thank you very much. But the character feels shoe-horned into the film, Karthik. I felt betrayed – and I bet she did too – that after a point, she was used simply as a plot device to get Michael and Ponni together, and also to illustrate Michael’s (who is now standing in for all of mankind) hypocrisy. I felt she deserved more. And yet, I appreciated your generosity in fleshing her out like all the others, without judging her. She gets to be the rare woman in Tamil cinema who dumps the man, and the way she lets go of Michael is echoed in the way Arul lets go of Yazhini, with a heavy heart and some playacting. A side effect of the Malarvizhi subplot is the reassurance that Vijay Sethupathi is still interested in making cinema, rather than just massy entertainers targeted at the box office.
Ponni gets a better deal (and Anjali is terrific, raw and expressive in a way she has never been). In a great scene – rather, a set of book-ending scenes – Michael tells Ponni that he was forced to marry her, and she’s going to have to “adjust” to this if she wants to be with him. Much later, she throws the “adjust” word back on his bearded face when he asks her if she slept with someone else. In a different kind of movie, we’d be invited to see this symmetry, stand up and applaud. But you’re too subtle for that, Karthik. Iraivi is your subtlest film. Which is why I winced at the melodramatic lines about men and women, most of which came towards the end. Aan, using the long-sounding vowel, versus penn, with the shorter one – for such a visual filmmaker (this is another outstandingly shot film, less showy than Jigarthanda and probably richer for that), do you really need the crutch of linguistic special effects from another era of filmmaking? Also, when the rest of your film is so allusive, isn’t there another way you can explain the twist without having a character resort to such an inelegant information dump?
And why is it that your films come together more in the head than in the heart? Why are they easier to admire than love wholeheartedly? I used to think it was because your characters are essentially deceitful, self-serving and unsympathetic, so though we were invested in what they did, we didn’t really warm up to them. But here, you have Ponni and Yazhini and Malarvizhi – and they’re still remote. But perhaps this is bound to happen when there are so many people, so many strands, when we don’t follow one person’s simplistic “you go, girl” journey like we do in, say, 36 Vayadhinile? But when the parts are so well-crafted, we don’t complain as much about their sum not adding up to a satisfying whole. I am sure that you will, one day, make that wholly satisfying film, but for now, thank you for these parts. Thank you for the ambition. I felt there were too many songs (some good work by Santhosh Narayanan), but thank you for ensuring that they don’t break character, the way songs usually do when a character speaking in his or her voice suddenly segues into the playback singer’s voice. Thank you for giving us SJ Surya, the actor – I never dreamed he had such a capacity to hold a scene, to hold the screen. Thank you for continuing not to sell out. Thank you for trying to do so much, even if not all of it needed to have been tried. And thank you for making me fight with myself, for not making it easy to decide if you’ve made a “good” film or a merely “okay” film. For now, Iraivi is a fascinating film, and that’s enough.
Sincerely, etc.

Visiting my grandma is so draining!!!
Hello! I am female, 25. My grandma is 77 and lives in a retirement home.
Backstory: I spent most of my childhood days with my grandma. I really loved her and still do. My mom was always working so my grandma took care of me. She is really goofy and sweet and nice.
She has been sick as long as I can remember. Different things like renal insufficiency, arthritis, can’t walk, immense pain in her legs,..
My mom always complained that visiting her was so draining and she hated it because my grandma always told her about her pain 10 times and then she complained about everything else. When I was a kid, she never talked to me about it so I always thought like 'why does mom say such mean things grandma is so nice'
My mom has died 2 years ago. My grandma had to move to a retirement home because her health deteriorated quickly. She almost died but somehow made it through. I was always by her side because I am the only one left in the family. I visited her multiple times a week when she was in the hospital. She was always full of drugs and she couldn’t hear a thing so I always wrote on paper and she answered.
When she moved to where she is now, I tried to visit once a week. I’m pretty busy because of work. I also adopted my moms dog and always have a lot to do. Now that I am the only person my grandma can talk to, other than the people in her home that 'behave like they are 150 years old', she always complains to me about her pain and everything else she is mad about like doctors, men she sees on tv, war, kids behaving badly, other people complaining(yes, really),…
Usually, I enter her room, sit down and then she talks for like 2-3 hours straight without letting me talk. I try but then give up after some time and just listen. When she talks about her pain, she always says it in like 10 different ways, 10 different times. Again and again. I know that she is suffering especially since my mom died and I get that she needs to talk about her pain but I can’t hear it anymore! It is chronic pain so it never changes and I KNOW that she has it. She doesn’t need to tell me again and again. Also, since my mom died it seems like she has beginning stages of dementia. So everything she tells me, she tells me several times.
I love visiting her when we talk about positive things or new changes in my life or a nice movie she has seen. But that almost never happens. It’s like she loads her negativity onto me and I take it back home when I leave.
It’s hard to explain but after listening to her complain for an hour, my body starts to feel as if I am going to pass out. It gets stressful to listen and I feel like I can’t sit straight anymore I get dizzy and get a headache. I am extremely sensitive and empathic, so listening to someone talk about negative things or them suffering is always stressful for me. But with her it’s so bad that my body reacts to it.
This has lead to me not visiting once a week but once every 2-3 weeks. I feel SO bad about it!!! I feel guilty and ashamed. I know I am the only one who visits her and I know how much she loves me and loves seeing me but I just can’t.
Today is week 3 of not visiting her and I know I should visit her today and I’m fighting with myself.
I don’t know what to do. Talking to her about it is not an option. She is extremely sensitive so it would be very hurtful to her. She would take it as me not wanting to hear it and then she would never talk about her feelings again and just stay silent the entire visit.
I try to lead the conversation in different directions but she always ends up complaining again. Most of the time I leave after 1-2 hours because I feel like she sucked out all my energy.
TL;DR Has anyone else experienced something like this? Why is it so hard to listen to someone complain? What can I do to not feel so drained? What’s an appropriate amount of visiting someone in a retirement home?

Hello everyone! I'm writing here to get some advice and new perspectives. I should start by saying that the situation I'm about to describe is something I've been addressing in therapy for a few weeks, after changing my psychologist because I no longer felt comfortable with the approach of my previous therapist. So, it might just be a matter of time before things improve, but I'm eager to feel better and, right now, I don't see how that's possible. I'm a bit discouraged.
As I mentioned in the title, I 22F constantly feel inadequate, which has completely shattered my self-esteem in any environment I frequent, since about October. The situation is becoming unbearable for me. There's not a day that goes by where I don't cry and hear a voice in my head filled with extremely negative thoughts about myself (I should note that my previous psychologist made me take a test, i dont remember the name, which revealed high levels of OCD and depression parameters, though I'm not sure if this counts as a diagnosis (?)).
October was a significant month: I started my final year of bachelor and I moved in with my girlfriend, 26F. I think these two changes, along with other reasons, have made me feel increasingly worthless. I'm writing my thesis very slowly because I have one last very difficult exam that requires me to learn a new language, so I'm anxious about not graduating in September or, at worst, November, which would mean not being able to enroll in the master's program on time (i live in italy so maybe the terms for the application are different from the country you're reading). This, in turn, makes me less productive, and I end up spending my days in bed or at the kitchen table unproductively, which only makes me feel worse. This situation also makes me anxious about the age difference between my girlfriend and me: she’s 26, and I'm 22. She works, has a salary, is productive, outgoing, likes going out, being around people, and is self-ironic. I used to be more like her, but now I'm shutting down: I don't have the energy to go out in the evening, it takes me hours to take a shower, any joke directed at me somehow hurts me, it touches on my insecurities, I can't express my ideas, and every social interaction worries me. I overthink everything I should say and can no longer laugh.
This daily comparison with my girlfriend has made living together feel like something I don't deserve: I'm still studying, I bring much less money home, and if I graduate next year, it feels like our actual age difference would be six years instead of four (she also started school a year early, so it's as if there’s a five-year gap, not just four between us). I know she's "waiting" for me in some way: she's waiting for me to finish my master degree and start working so we can move to a bigger house and think more about our future together.
Let me be clear: I'm not afraid of this situation, i'm not afraid of a future together which i feel ready and which I wholeheartedly desire, but I feel behind. She invites me to parties with her colleagues, and I feel out of place when they talk about work and "adult" things, and I don’t know how to interact, i feel inadequate. She comes home, talks about her relationships and concerns, and I feel I can't be a shoulder to lean on. I never know what "adult" conversations I can have to help her or appear to be on the same level as her. It always seems like she takes care of me, especially during this very dark period, and that I do nothing but manage the household. I don’t feel legitimate, if that makes sense, it’s like her "stairstep" allows her to see a part of the landscape that I can't see from my lower position, so when she talks to me about what she sees, I can't respond. This has led me to hide my small failures from her, like an exam that didn't go well, whereas I see my friends who have no problem sharing these things with their partners.
Now these struggles are spreading to my relationships with my friends as well. I can't stay calm even when talking to them, and I find hard to talk about my issues because I'm afraid of being a burden. The idea of graduating a year later than them makes me anxious and feel like a failure. When they talk about their problems, I feel anxious about providing them with good support, trying to offer intelligent suggestions to help them.
Of course, I’ve talked to my girlfriend about all this, and she has given me all the reassurances I needed: she doesn’t see me at all as I see myself, she admires me for many things, holds me in high esteem, is aware that I’m still a student and that it’s right for me to live like a student, that she wants a future with me and not with someone who is "socially and economically more appealing" (as I put it), that she loves me very much and will stand by me during this dark period. Every day she showers me with attention and care, welcomes me when I feel the need to be with her, and reminds me that when she goes out, it doesn't mean she doesn't want to be with me or doesn't like me, but that she also needs her space. I used to be more social myself, but now being alone is becoming more complicated because a thousand demeaning thoughts start bombarding me.
But last night we found out together that I passed the first part of my last exam, but i started crying because the grade wasn't that high and I felt shame in front of her for that. She shut down because she was hoping with all her heart that passing that exam would have brought a bit of positivity after weeks of strugglenesses, so she wasn't expecting my reaction after finding out I passed the exam. I feel like she's losing any hope about us
I see no way out. I feel like I’ll feel this way for the rest of my life, even when I''l have a job and will be on that "stairstep." I no longer know how to have more self-esteem, even though I have many reasons to think of myself as a person of value: I’ve overcome far more complex and painful situations that I thought, once conquered, would give me immense strength. Yet here I am: feeling like crap every day.
Sorry for this extremely long and probably very confusing wall of text, I hope it makes some sense.
Is there a way to regain the self-esteem I had until last year? Is it really possible to change the "mental paths" we take every day in our head? Has anyone experienced something similar and come out of it?
My new psychologist is extremely competent and great at making me exclaim, "Oh my God, I hadn't thought of that!" every time, but I'm afraid it’s not enough. I don't know, I just really want to feel better as soon as possible and maybe just need to hear some hope after 7 months of feeling like I’m sinking deeper and deeper.

TLDR: a close friend and I are taking a class together where you basically j do a group project for a semester, its highly encouraged to have your groups figured out at least somewhat before the class starts. I was going to work w her and a few of her friends but 2 weeks before the class started her friends said I couldn’t be in the group because they needed someone with a different major and had apparently never agreed to me in the first place(some miscommunication btwn her and them). I found a new group in time but I’m still hurt, and not really sure how to address it, or if I even should.
———
So essentially, I(21NB) and my friend (21F) (who I’m p sure is also autistic) are in college together. We’ve been friends 3 years now, and were roommates in freshman year. We are part of a small, tight knit friend group that lives together, and the two of us are especially close I thought, as she is one of the people I have probably opened up with and been vulnerable with the most jn my life other than like 2 other people.
We are in the same major(unlike rest of the group) and for our major there is kind of a final project class where you work with a group and just make something for a semester.
I wanted to work with her, because I thought it would be fun, and I don’t remember much of how the convos went because I wasn’t over analyzing it because friends, but she had 2 friends she wanted to work with, and since you can have 6 people in a group there was space for me to join too.
I had another friend ask me to work with them, and I asked her if they could join, and she said there was no space because her friends had people they wanted to work with as well and they wanted people with different majors on the project, so I told the other friend no.
This was the state for about a month, until about 2 weeks before the class started, when she said her group mates had talked and told her they needed to find another person of a different major, and when she asked about me(because we wouldn’t have space for me and another new person), they said they had never agreed to me joining in the first place (she had asked them in the beginning and thought they had said yes and then never confirmed anything with them when I confirmed I would be joining). This was a problem, because we were supposed to have groups figured out prior to starting the class, and I hadn’t been looking because I figured I already had my group.
I was obviously upset, and tried to go cry in my room lol but when I went to leave she asked to hug and then I broke and she like tried to help but I couldn’t rly explain that I felt hurt because of her so idk what I even said.
When she saw I was like really upset, she was like I can convince them to let you join again like I can fix it and I was like no I don’t want to force myself on ppl who don’t want me (ie: her) and I did eventually manage to finagle another group.
The problem is, I still feel really hurt about this, and I don’t know how to address it with her, or if I even should.
I originally was just mentally trying to drop it(I was hurt she didn’t want to leave to work with me but whatever), but when I told my parents they got really mad at her(they already didn’t like her tho but this felt different than that), so I feel like maybe it is actually a big deal and like a not great thing to do? Logically I get why she did it, a set group with people who will do work vs one person, but I just really don’t understand because I would never do that to someone I was close friends with? Someone I wasn’t that close to maybe, but if I was really close with someone I wouldn’t leave them in the lurch like that, ever, so I guess I’m just questioning our friendship and if she actually cares or I’ve been misreading it? Or if I need to take a step back? (The ppl she is in a group w was one friend she hangs out with outside of studying maybe a couple times a semester, and someone else she has said she doesn’t consider a friend they just work well on projects together, so I’m like do I mean less to you than that?(I know it’s not that, they’ve j done projects together before that worked well, but that’s what it feels like lol))
I know it’s probably because we were raised very differently, I was raised to feel like I needed to have friends, and also to be loyal to your friends because it’s the right thing to do even if it’s not what you might want to do in the moment, but she was raised in a more individualistic style where you focus on yourself and friends are there when you need them but like the focus is on you and what’s best for you. There’s nothing wrong w that obvi, but because I wouldn’t have approached this situation the way she did (I would have left the group with friend, or tried harder to get my other friends to see the situation since I had committed already, or at least taken some time to think about it myself or talk it over with someone to figure out what to do about it).
So essentially, should I talk to her about it, and if so, what do I even say? I don’t want to j make her feel bad, she j approaches it differently it’s not wrong, but like it hurt me idk
(My parents have also said it seems like she didn’t want to work with me at all the whole time she just was like whatever because I was asking a lot, because I think I had to ask her first and like she didn’t join the same section as me for the class she waited for her friends sections first, and I can’t remember whether she invited me or I asked, etc. I assumed she wanted to work with me because she had been really enthusiastic about it freshman year, but I guess things change, which is totally fine I just wish she would have told me if that was the case, rather than going along with it and then dropping me at the last minute, but it’s not like I can ask her did you actually want to work w me or was it j bcuz I kept asking because the situations over now so she’d prob j say she did regardless).
(Something I’m quite worried about is that, I probably missed these big cues about she didn’t actually want to work with me the whole time, so what else have I been missing in our friendship? I talked to one of my other friends(her gf) about it in vague terms and she said original friend does consider me a close friend and is v picky about her friends lol so I think I’m prob good on still friends point but the situation still kinda hurt me and I don’t understand it.)

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Coping with infertility is complex, and it is our imperative to create places where we can honor the distinctly unique needs created by infertility. Sit beside us and share what’s on your mind and going on in your life. This is a great place to get to know your fellow members outside the gravity of treatment. Discussion here includes, but is not limited to:

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We are pregnant with #2 due September We are wanting to move house to be closer to family for support
There may be a potential buyer. All cash. Wants us out by mid August as they are coming to the end of their rental
I suggested moving to our parents for a bit if we dont find a chain free house or contracts take longer.
BUT then remembered we have a dog. One my mum is allergic to. So we would have to stay at my in laws
My in laws aren't bad or monstrous or anything. They live 15-20 minutes from my parents. But since having my son they have become very grabby. Always wanting to hold him even if he wants to go and play. Reaches out their hands to take him from me so I can "rest". I dont fully trust them with feeding and they just hold him and sit watching overstimulating TV They brought him a cake on his birthday (depsite us saying not to) and personalised it saying its from them. Brought loads of decorations for it as well. My partner said its because his sister is useless organising and his mum has always done it for friends and family
I could always go with my son alone or even have a night here and there where my partner comes with to stay the night at my parents. Just means the dog will still be at in laws....
What would you do?
Alternatively it would be waiting for another buyer and we been on market for 8 weeks already. And would mean potentially moving with a newborn....

Chapter 1: the event
It was the fall of my intern year as I bean my off service trauma rotation. This month was ubiquitously notorious for being the most labor intrusive and least productive rotaion of our emergency medicine program. Knowing this I entered with the intention of simply surviving the month.
Another intern and I let’s call them A for sake of ambiguity, we’re the first emergency medicine residents to roste on the trauma services that year. A shaky start would be an understatement. In the words of chance the raper “like my grama with the Parkinson’s playing operation.” Would better describe it. Medically we did well. We were very competent and completed our work daily, but communication and coordination was non existent. Our Cheifs had informed us that Tuesday was our day of and the Trauma cheif residents had minimum communication with us, or our Cheifs as it seams when A and I did not report on Tuesday they sternly made their dissatisfaction known.
I have struggled with insomnia sense the age of 10. Had 2 sleep studies by this point in my life and been prescribed nearly every sleeping aid on the market. The 80-94 hr work weeks of our trauma rotaion only worsened my insomnia. My lack of sleep likely contributed to a less than prime adaptive immune system and 2 days out of my trauma rotaion I contracted strep like symptoms with associated nausea, requiring me to call for a sick day the next day. No the first day that I felt too ill to work. I was not fully aware of the reporting process. I reported to my Chiefs, but I did not believe I could come to work tomorrow with amble time and notice, however I was somewhat delayed in letting their Cheifs know, because the surgical chiefs rotated every few days and I did not know who my was going to be the next day. The second day which I had to call out sick I was able to locate the cheif for the next day and reprot according to our university’s protocol, which requires that if a resident feels they are not fit for work they must not come in and the university must have staff coverage without any fear or implementation of punitive actions.
I had finally survived to the last week of my trauma rotaion and I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. What I could not see was the pile of stress, shitty diet, lack of mental well ness and sleep deprivation which I was pushing down to reach the light. By this time I had seen a psychiatrist regularly for sleep medication. I had mentioned to him that I had been experiencing more stressed lately and feel that I might be depressed. he reassured me that it was likely only due to my circumstances, given the difficulty of the trauma rotation and wish to reassess once the rotation was over. Looking back I had to fill the habit of drinking more than I usually do. My only on nights before I have days off became 1-2 beers every other night. All of this repressed unhealthy shit finally pushed bad on September 23rd. That night I was at work even later than usual, I stayed up later than usual and couldn’t seem to fall asleep. With the stress of only having minimal sleep and knowing I only had 2 more days of trauma left, I took an extra dose of my sleeping medication.
I opened my eyes to the fighting sight of sun beaming in my window and I instantly knew I was late. (Sense I hadn’t seen the sun in a month) . Due to my need for scrupulous sleep hygiene I have been sleeping with my phone of and away for me. I rushed to grab it and watched as the little Apple logo seamed to glow on the screen for an eternity. Then in conjunction with its fading I saw 3 missed calls from my director, a text from college A and 2 missed calls from the surgical director. Still, I was able to calm myself, knowing that resident A had been late to this rotation by a few hours 2 other days and nothing came of it. I called my director back and he asked me to report to his office where I was greeted by my director, my coordinator and another emergency medicine facility.
With the only explanation of: “we just want you to get better”, I was handed a letter, to my relief it did not entail my termination, but a declaration of administrative leave and a requirement to undergo an evaluation at a well known university in Florida.
Lake any other savvy millennial, I did my research. By research I mean numerous google searches and screeches thru the depts of redit. To my dismay I discovered that in order for a residency program to fire you, they must first initiate an administrative suspension. I would soon find out however, being terminated would have been a delightful outcome compared to what ensued.
I spend the next few weeks in the wallos of regret and depression. I indulged in higher qualities of alchohol then I ever have before. I all but ceased communing with peers, and abruptly stoped any physical activity I had once enjoyed. Frightened as I was I was ensured, it will be ok “we just want you to get better”
Chapter 2 The evaluation : guilty until proven innocent I did exactly as instructed and scheduled an evaluation, I supposed that this was either a mental evaluation to assess if I’m fit for work with plans of termination or it actually was an evaluation to better treat my insomnia. To this day I regret my ignorance, and wish I had researched the process more. The Hindi / sand-skrt idea of Hamsa 🪬 is that in order to do any good you must have full knowledge or else good intentions can result in harm. I truely believe my director had good intentions, however but him and I did not have full knowledge of the nature of this evaluation.
Looking back see how easily I could have avoided my troubles by asserting legal aid at this point or even by researching this evaluation process more in depth. If one searches impaired practitioner program which I now know this evaluator works for, the search entire will populate 5 or 6 layferms along side their home website and there is a valid reason for this.
If one every finds themself in this process I employ you to bring a DSM to your evaluation or at least be familiar with the most common use disorders in the DSM-5, because your evaluation will turn into a dance of questions where the evaluator attempts to trap you in a round about way to stating something that may qualify for one of the diagnosis. I have provided an image from the DSM-5 below outlining AUD, which the evaluator concluded that I had the most severe from:
Image
Example***** Here are 10 examples of how he fraudulently assessed me taken directly from his assessment note.

1. Evaluator: Have you ever stoped drinking in the last year.

Me: yes I stoped every week day, I was only drinking on the weekends, until two weeks ago.
-Evaluator uses stoping and starting every week to qualify for 2 or more unsuccessful attempts to stop in the last year “There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control alcohol use.”

1. Evaluator Have you ever had withdrawal symptoms

Me no
Evaluator Well Have you ever had a hangover? You know that’s a from of acute withdrawal
Me: yes in college, I had a few but that was years ago and I’m pretty sure the pathophysiology is different.
Evaluator uses this to count for withdrawal symptoms even tho is was more than a year ago

1. Evaluator: Have you even taken your sleeping medication on a day or night which you drank? Me: Yes, I took my prescriptions are prescribed but I never drank close to bed

Evaluator: qualified this as dangerous behavior with alcohol (where the DSM gives examples such as unprotected sex and drunk driving). The sleeping medication I was on is not a benzodiazepine therefore it is not deadly with alcohol. I personally have seen many patients in the ED who have taken their entire bottle of the medication and drank copious amounts, we just monitor them over night and rehydrate them

1. Evaluator Has anyone told you you drink to much or been worried about you Me: No I drink much less than my friends

Evaluator what about your girlfriend? Me: well she actually doesn’t drink at all she doesn’t like it. She often buys me beer for The Weeknd’s tho. One time we went to a movie and she got a little irritated because I waited for beer then complained about them not having any craft beer. So she said, “you couldn’t have just said no” and drank something else. However, she apologized after and said it’s worth waiting if it’s my only day off.
Evaluator said this qualifies for continued drinking despite causing significant relation consequences, ie divorce.

1. Evaluator : you have sleep issues I hear, and your chart says you’ve had depression in the past, don’t you know that alcohol can effect your sleep and mood Me: yes that’s why I never drink within 3 hours of sleep.

Evaluator but you knew this and still drank
Evaluator: qualifies for drinking despite unwanted physical or psychological effects (this should be recurring to effects the alcohol is causing, I have had insomnia sense the age of 10 long before I took my first sip)
7 evaluator you were late for work and told my you had a drink the day before
Me: Yes but I was late because I didn’t sleep and took double my sleeping meds, I will never do that again
Qualifies for 2 significant work or school issues in the past year ( a therapist and other psychologist ensured me that being late on or a few days doesn’t count they typically are getting fired or failing) ( moreover, this would assume I was late do to drinking it’s self and also assume if happened more than once)

1. • Alcohol is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than was intended

He never once asked anything related to this question yet said I qualified in his final report 9. A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain alcohol, use alcohol, or recover from its effects. The evaluators logic here was sense I was late for work and I had 2 beers the day before I must be taking long to recover from it (this is assuming I missed due to alcohol)

1. Tolerance drinking more to require the same effect: this he checked as true in his final note however it was never even discussed in our evaluation. I did mention to him that I’ve been drinking more than I had earlier in the year frequency wise, but they said nothing to do with quantity or needing more.
   
2. Wanting to drink so bad you can not think of anything else: this is the only qualification of SAUD my evaluator said I did not have.
   

Moreover, without legal help I was not aware that I could obtain a second evaluation or even oppose going to get evaluated at all, but that wouldn’t have mattered seeing I still thought this was for my health and wellbeing as seen when I was asked why do you think you are here to today, to which I replayed “so that I can be evaluated to see what is needed to get back to work”.
To maks the ordeal more infuriating the evaluator continues to ingratiate himself and lie through the process telling you, “it will be fine as long as you are 100% honest”, “anything you say in here is between you and me” or “you slipped up once with your meds, I know your residnecy program they will probably just want a few more out patient tests”
Two weeks later I received a phone call right before I left for an out of state vacation to visit my nice for her birthday. During the call I was informed that I would be required to complete a partial hospitalization program (PHP) lasting “6-10 weeks” which would coast from 15-50 grand not including doctor visits or housing which is billed separately. I suppressed this inconvenience, enjoyed my vocation and reported when I returned, knowing that I must complete this soon so I may return to work with due to the fact that my payed time off would soon be diminished. At this time I had not yet heard of the organization PRN.
Chapter 3 Guilty till proven innocent: The diagnosis
Shell shocked I arrived to a in patient psychiatric unit and was rapidly cleared to progress to treatment without detoxification. During my 90 day of forced rehabilitation I met a few other individuals who were unjustly and fraudulently forced into treatment. I began to look up to one of these such members of the men’s community, who I will refer to as patient X for ambiguity sake.
Unlike me patient X did have alcohol use disorder. He spent many clinic days drinking to avoid alcoholic withdraws. The curious component of his story is that he admitted his depravity, saught help and through his own journey became sober. The bodies at be, namely his local physician, Health monitoring program, rejected his personal path to sobriety and forced him to undergo 90 days of in patient treatment before he could practice medicine again. When he checked in to rehab he had been sober for over a year.
Ask for Stories of people from online
As for me I spend many sleepless nights pondering how consuming a legal substance in a moderate amount could throw me into significant legal financial issues. My labs my toxicology, my story and my collateral from colleagues from colleagues all indicated light to moderate alcohol use but my evaluators word stood as the word of God.
More frightening was the director of this rehabs acknowledgment of this. The director who happens to also coincidentally be the evaluator, stated to me as well as to staff on multiple occasions: “ I suggest inpatient treatment for everyone who is reported”. “This is safer for me not to miss anyone who could harm patients, and I figure there must be a reason someone reported them.”
I am still elucidating the reason why I was determined guilty and proven innocent, however I can say from my 90 day stent that the majority of the patients at this rehab needed to be there. This program is saving lives of both providers and patients, however it is destroying the lives of those wrongfully accused.
Chapter 4 your lisense rehab or jail : Upon arivil I was sent to a detox hospital underwent a medical examination and was “one of the lucky ones” who required no detoxification and could report directly to PHP. Like everyone else, I spent 90 days in a PHP, being as 6-10 weeks is simply a lie they tell patients to decrease the change of resisting the treatment. When discussing the topic one therapist sated “if we told patients 90 days they would never come.” She then attempted to justify the treatment by outlining the story of a patient she had called who “didn’t make it to treatment” and killed themselves”. It is my belief that it is not the lack of PHP which impelled such professionals to take their life, but them realizing that they now will be obliged to undergo 90 days of PHP, 5 years of PRN monitoring with a loss of autonomy and hundreds of thousands of dollars taken from them that induced their hopelessness. For even if these professionals were truly mentally unstable in their addictions, in every case it was only following a phone call where they were informed they must undergo treatment that they took their life’s. By this time I still haven’t the slightest clue what PRN was.
Despite the security these programs provide for many my 6 main issues with them can be summarized in : 1. Kick backs: evaluators are directors of treatment clinics 2. The reported are guilty till proven innocent 3. The price, the overflow of money these places drag in from both patients and state universities is appalling, they charge separately for every visit and test 4. Although they make the claim that they are individualized, they are anything but. Every patient gets the same stay and treatment from the doctor drunk on the job and the one who was late to a shift 5. They force voluntary treatment. remember that friendly evaluator who promised he had your best interest at heart, so you opened up and told him everything about your substance use/ developmental / family history, well if you don’t stay for 90 days he will be “normally obliged” to tip the board of medical off to you.

1. The programs have overstepped their intended jurisdiction. -these programs work well if they function how they were intended at their inception. Cite original purpose. Originally these programs were designed to protect physicians and civilians from impaired practitioners; being healthcare workers who were impaired at work. Over the years, these organizations have extended their authority to encompass individuals with substance use disorders When not at work and also those who are in training to become healthcare professionals. Take for example myself compared to a physician who is impaired at work. A doctor who arrived for duty under the influence would surely benifit from the extensive testing, therapy and accountability enforced via these programs. In accordance the 20,000$ per year cost is appropriate when only making up roughly 7% of their yearly salary vs nearly half of a residents. In my case with my loss of income from employment, coast of treatment and monitoring, this year I will be required to pay 20,000$ to work. Yes, I will be losing money to work. Even if did indeed have a substance use disorder this level of monitoring wouldn’t not be considered appropriate.

Dispite all of the miscomings of this System My time spend in PHP was indeed helpful, as I believe it would be for anyone. Time for exercise, a reprieve from work and weekly counseling. A sample structure of my day to day schedule is provided below for insight:
Structure The general structure of these rehabitation centers is as follows: 1. One week of orientation phase, where you are not allowed in electronics or contact with the outside world world. Therefore, if you’re going, bring some things you would like to read or study. 2. In phase 2, you can use your phone however you cannot leave campus. You must stay in the dorm on campus. These shitty 1 room run down apartments with two other roommates will cost you about $1000 a week, they are required for at least four weeks and they are billed separately, no insurance will help you out here. 3. In phase 3 you can commute to campus if you beg your therapist and live very close. Whether you’re on campus or living off-campus, you are allowed to leave up to four hours per day. If you commute, you’ll be required to take a sober link decide you must Breath, alcohol test into every 6 hours. Like everything else in this program you must pay for this separately, a few hundred dollars a week. You advanced to other phases by completing assignments, however, assignments are limited by required built-in time, intrusive, scheduling, and reviewing. Therefore, if you do everything as rapidly as possible phase 1 will take one week phase 2 will take three weeks.
Every day schedule:
7:30: wake up, report to the front desk to inform them that you haven’t ran away yet and take and prescribed medications. They keep all your medications and require that you report to take them; for me this was antidepressants in an attempt to dispel the depression I contracted from being forced into treatment and whatever off label medication they were attempting to treat my ADHD with, since control medications were forbidden.
8 am: community group assessments This consisted of other patients presenting their assignments amongst the large group, on the weekends this was often an hour later and 12 study regularly took the place of assignment presentation.
10 am: process group. This was a two hour group therapy session with 6 to 12 other professionals in a therapist and training or occasionally a licensed mental health therapist.
1 pm: recreation This was generally about an hour of some sober themed craft or activity. Once a week this time slot was used for yoga.
2 pm: this was another time slot used for patients to present assignments as well as for individual therapy sessions. Each patient had one individual therapy session lasting 30 minutes per week.
3pm: This was time allotted to work on assignments or go to the gym on your sex specific scheduled gym day.
5pm: this time was used for guest speakers or another 12 step study group.
6 pm : this was generally an off-campus 12 step group
10 pm: report to the front desk and let them know you still haven’t ran away and take and Medication which are prescribed to take at night, then return to your cot bed in your room with 1-2 other roommates.
I found the community to be one of the most beneficial aspects of the PHP program. I was in a cohort of chill ass professionals of the same occupation who were always there to help each other.
Assignments The curriculum of the PHP consisted of assignment based on every step of the 12th step program. Generally, a patient would be required to complete an assignment on their own, review it with other patients, then faculty and finally present the assignment in front of the whole treatment group. You’re only given one assignment at a time and there are multiple steps to each which all requires scheduling this ensures that no matter how determined a patient is a full 90 days of treatment is required to complete all the assignments.
AA structure -the obsolete nature of AA has been verified in numbers studies, but I will refrain from divulging here and lend that endeavor to Dr. Lance Dodes very thorough discussion on the subject,in “the sober truth “
In all sincerity, if I truely did have a severe use disorder this experience could have been life saving. I only wish I could have used my 50 grand for someone who has spent their life time In addictive without reprieve. My first conversation when I was given my phone back was how I wish my father could be able to attend this PHP.
Chapter 5 reporting and PRN Self reporting What they ask you What you should tell them
There’s a third-party agency called professional resource network. Every state has their own. This agency works as a liaison between you and whatever credentialing service your occupation requires. Essentially they ensure your monitoring after treatment. Stake governments and licensing boards trust them, mainly because they monitor with the highest level of intrusiveness. This alleviates much work for state governments and licensing boards because once an individual is being monitored by a professional resource network, then they are deemed appropriate for duty and no further investigation/litigation needs to occur, as long as the monitored individual completely complies.
Because I was never impaired at work I was never reported to this agency. The general workflow of things someone would report you to professional resource network, then the resource network would contact you, and then you would be required to report for an evaluation at a treatment center, which would inevitably result in a suggestion I’ve treatment at that given treatment center. In my case I was sent to the treatment center without PRN being involved. Thus, two weeks into treatment. I was notified by my therapist that I needed to call PRN and self report. I attempted to resistance given that I did not have a problem and was not individually seeking help. I asked what happened if I didn’t self report. I was told that in order to stay in the treatment program I had to report to PRN. This meant either I report to PRN or I get kicked out of the treatment program and lose my job.
When you report to PRN they will ask you why you are in treatment. They will then list off every substance imaginable, asking you if you have ever tried the substance and when your last use was. Ultimately, they will obtain your discharge information from your treatment center, so it is in your best interest to report only what was found in your biochemical testing. If it wasn’t in your hair, I would argue that you don’t have a use disorder regarding that substance and it’s not relevant. I don’t believe it’s important for them to know that you smoked weed when you were 12.
Chapter 6 The contract:
Before being discharged from a treatment facility, a professional resource network will have you sign a contract. A little known fact which I was oblivious to is that contracts can be negotiated. Though this isn’t it possible, it is highly improbable that you can negotiate your contract since PRN has a power to delay your clearance to return to work.
Contractor almost never personalized, and I have not heard of a contract which is not a five-year agreement. You will sign releases of information so that PRN has access to all of your information which was gathered at the treatment facility. You must have a therapist, psychiatrist, primary care, doctor, and a addiction, medicine psychiatrist. You assign releases of information for all of them. You will be required To commit to: 1. three mutual aid meetings a week which you must log. I log smart recovery meetings. 2. Weekly therapy sessions with an approved mental health therapist from their list 3. Monthly doctors appointments with an addiction medicine psychiatrist 4. Yearly appointments with a primary care physician 5. Monthly appointments with a psychiatrist 6. Daily check-ins on a random drug testing app ( you will agree to weekly urine tests, a peth test 4 times a year, a hair test twice a year and a little caveat that says anything else they deem, clinically reasonable) 7. Quarterly update reports which you are required to obtain from a workplace monitor, therapist, addiction, medicine, psychiatrist, primary care physician and any other doctor you are seeing. 8. You must upload all of your prescriptions into a mobile application every single time you get them refilled and are not allowed to take them until they are approved. 9. Attendance of a PRN group via zoom. This is a local group you are assigned along with other monitored practitioners. There is a fee of roughly 130$ a month to attend this required group. For me all of these requirements coast around 20,000 a year. If you ever have a positive test even if it is the result of contamination from rubbing alcohol or unintentional ingestion of alcohol/ allergy medication your contract will rest to 5 years from the time of positive test. Once your five year contract is completed, you must ask to be released from monitoring. At that point they will search for any reason to keep you under monitoring. This could be dilute urines, daily check ins or a week where you did not attend mutual aid meetings. Every certification and license which you apply for will likely ask you if you were under a monitoring program/ have been treated for substance use. You must give an explanation and check yes. As far as licensing programs are concerned, if you were under the monitoring of PRN, you are safe, however they group practitioners who have had behavioral issues with practitioners who were diverting drugs from work. Therefore, keep in mind that you will be labeled as a sever addict.
7 Back to work and only work. During treatment your only goal is to return to work, however when you return your experience will be drastically distinct from what you remember. For me, I was now working in isolation. Missing six months of my training meant that no other Resident was on the same rotation as me. My coworkers at all formed friend groups. When I returned I was greeted with much concern for my well being. No one would speak to be about my absence, however everyone knew there is only one reason a resident would leave for 6 months then return. My Accdeemic meetings were consisting of attending telling me “I have a target on my back now” and “ I have to preform even better than others” in the light of my time missed. If this wasn’t alienating enough, the majority of Resident events, sponsored by recruiters and my university revolved around alcohol to which I had to give some excuse to why I can not partake with others. I’m fortunate that I do not have an addiction, because these stressful conditions along with the daunting amount of dead and requirements imposed by PRN are enough to make any addict relapse. While I was at treatment, I was in the dative with Samyr stories a physicians whose addictions got the best of them. Physicians who did not make it to treatment, often taking their own life. These stories were presented as a warning. Your addictions will kill you without our treatment was the message. When, in reality I did not hear one story in which the addiction killed physician. Every physician who didn’t make it to treatment took their life after being told they must report to a treatment facility. Perhaps they knew what this entailed and it was not their addiction or getting caught which caused them to end their lives, but the unmanageable and often unreasonable burden that treatment would put on their lives.
9 How to escape So your fucked your in PRN and should be or you should and now your recovered and want to terminated your contract.

1. You ask to be released early done at 1/2 time ( good luck)
2. You have “good reason” (no one has ever been let out of contract because of this reason, the verbiage is far too vague)
3. You serve all your time and they let you out(maybe, as discussed earlier, they would do everything they can to keep you in your contract as long as your practicing)
4. You can’t practice medicine anymore

10 Layer up butter cup : I cannot emphasize the extent to which legal help is required in this process. You much seek it and seek it early. Lawyers can provide many avenues to you early in the process. Once you have committed to treatment, gone for evaluation or are in a PRN contract , this is very little that you or legal help can do. Spend a few thousand dollars when you are accused and save the 20-30,000 later.
After you have been evaluated if you disagree as I did, then this is the process you must undergo. 1. Hire a occupation, defense, lawyer 2. Prove you don’t have an addiction, this is done by having an alternative evaluator with similar credentials state that either you don’t have an addiction or that PRN’s level of monitoring is not medically appropriate ( this will need to be a multi day neuropsychological evaluation, which will cost about $5000). 3. Your lawyer must draft in writing that the medical level of monitoring is not required such as another medical professional and send this to PRN 4. PRN will tattle on you to the board of medicine. 5. The board of medicine will conduct an investigation. 6. At the end or when they believe they have enough reasonable evidence to the board of medicine will suspend your license or claim, you must comply with the PRN contract to practice. 7. At this time your lawyer will defend you in the state court against the board. This is costly but much less than the coast of a 5 year PRN contract 8. If you win you will likely suggest an alternative level of care such as gonna get therapy every week. If you lose, than you wasted a fuck ton of money and are still bound by your PRN contract.
Overall this entire process has coast me Over all coast:
My finances for this year only including PRN and rent are as follows:
120-200$ every week for testing 480-800/ month
65 every week for therapy 195/month
125 every month for PRN group
About 50-69 every month for 2 doctor apts
So at least 745$/month at the lowest
Treatment at the recovery center coast 20,000 for me out of pocket and
I wasn’t payed for 6 months with no FMLA because I am a first year. At the 1 year mark I will have made 26,000 this year after taxes And payed About 29,000 on PRN alone
Rent is 1,000 so that’s 12,000 a year
Just in rent and PRN alone I will be at 26,000- 41,600 -15,600.
I will be in debt by at least 18,000 at the 1 year mark
Coast of treatment center 20,000 (with insurance) For each year of PRN roughly 20,000 Add that to 6 months of attending salary which was delayed due to my treatment time: at least 150,000 Layer coasts along with other evaluations 25,000 Missing 6 months of residency pay 30,000 Coast of 1 year in monitoring: 245,000 Coast of 5 years 325,000
If my case progress to a trail I will require an extra 20,000 in court coasts
Chapter 11 My secondary eval: Dr sushi After I arrived at my treatment center I challenge my evaluation multiple times. Each and every time I was discharged and often accused of alternate mental health/ substance abuse issues to discourage my advances. I was never given the opportunity to undergo alternative assessment, however PRN guidelines state that you can obtain a second option within 7 days of your first. This is a mute point, however, because you will not receive the results of your evaluation until over a week after it is conducted and the second evaluation must be conducted by another PRN hired evaluator of their choosing. During my stay in rehab I contacted PRN multiple times to attempt another evaluation/ legal help. They warned against both stating they were a “waste of money” and “pointless”.
After completing my treatment with the guidance of many addiction, experienced physicians, mental health counselors and psychiatrists recommendations I sought in a secondary evaluation. I chose a highly qualified professional with over 30 years of experience to conduct an extensive neuo psycho social evaluation of me. One that I was sure would be more extensive than the evaluation I received at treatment and more importantly an unbiased evaluation.
The results from my evaluation not only showed that I did not have a substance abuse problem warranting PRN level monitoring, but also that PRN was falling to allow adequate treatment of other conditions such as my ADHD. My evaluation showed my ADHD was not only untreated by PRNs attempt at using non controlled medication, but also in the top 3% most severe presentations of ADHD. My evaluator went on to explain my results by questioning why my treatment center even mandated I undergo neuro cognitive evaluation. The only neurodiverse findings were my IQ, my dyslexia and my ADHD. However, a neuo cognitive examination can be billed separately by treatment centers, therefore they always recommend one.
Chapter 12 Amongst its greed, intrusive nature and faulty accusations, professional recourse network function highly proficiently at the task they were designed to; protective physicians and patients from physicians who are impaired at work. In this domain they save lives, offer second changes and protect the public. When they act beyond their intended jurisdiction by imposing unnecessary monetary demands on practitionersin training, accuse practitioners without proof or act on behavior exemplified outside of a work setting they unjustly and inappropriately attack the week and innocent.
Proposed reform: As a trainee my universities malpractice insurance covers me for mistakes made at work. If a learner mistakenly harms a patient, then the university stands on their behalf. If the learner does something wrong under a teachers direct guidance, then the teacher is at fault. This makes sense logically as well as pragmatically. The state entrusts large amounts of money to hospital systems and universities to train resident physicians. A portion of this money is allocated to malpractice insurance. This should extend to accused impairment.
Suppose a training university was required to cover rehabilitation and monitoring of a resident of whom they claim is impaired. Alternatively they have the option of firing the trainee. This would reduce the number of innocent trainees being accused of impairment, make the process of rehabilitation more fair and provide a better use for tax payer derived dollars, which hospital systems are given to train residents. The truly impaired could still seek help, less false accusations would be made and with the employers having the ability to fire at the moment of impairment, there would be less chance of impairment at work.

I have a genuine question. In my head it makes sense that even a married couple should have separate rooms if possible. Sometimes you need your own private space. A space to release your own energy, emotions or any matters you want to deal with personally. Maybe even sleep on your own once in a while.
I tried asking my social circle and I was met by strong pushbacks. I understand their point. A marriage is a union, where your relationship grows stronger and closer. But maybe I don’t get it. Why can’t married couples have that but not take away from privacy and individuality. I guess my thought is, you can sleep in separate beds from time to time but still be in a healthy and thriving unity.
I read in a research paper that it can be healthy to have a separate space from time to time to allow for yearning of the other body to grow. So I guess to me, I really do like the idea of sharing a roof together but having a common as well as separate rooms.
I’m by no means married, or at least not for now, but, if I do get married, i quite like to adopt this idea.

WIBTAH to use the coma of my ex’s father in the custody battle
Hi! This story will require quite a bit of context (that can be found here https://www.reddit.com/AmItheAsshole/s/2Vo9S0QKF1). I need to both vent and find some advice, so any input is appreciated. Long story short, my (F26) ex Fitz (M 32) keeps finding reasons to sue me to get full custody of our son Tim (M5). He sued several times in the past, but now everything went too far.
After a previous fierce custody battle we had an iron tight co parenting agreement. It took ages to reach one as he kept trying to include clauses just to make my life miserable. Right after graduating, when Tim was around 1 yo, in the middle of our custody battle, I would take Tim to work with me a lot. I would have long hours at the beginning, trying to make a name for myself, while Fitz was trying to paint me as a negligent mother for leaving Tim with a nanny while studying, back during finals. Hence, every other day after 4:30, when most people would go home, my mom would drop Tim at my lab and he would stay and play next to me in my office until 8 when we would go home. I would offer him plenty of attention as I would mostly run time consuming simulations that would require little involvement from my side.
Knowing this, Fitz fought tooth and nail to stop me from doing this, knowing how much easier this made our life. I work in a lab that focuses on various incurable diseases research. I almost never get in touch with the biological side as I am in the modelling team, doing mostly maths and coding. My office is in a different building than the lab and Tim has only ever been in my own office, far from the biological material. However, in the end, after arguing that my workplace is dangerous, Fitz managed to get a clause that would prevent me from having Tim with me at work. In order not to have it sound personal, the clause stated that Tim was not to be taken in any place with a BR factor greater than 1, unless his safety would be at play.
Where we are from, the BR factor of an establishment measures the risk of getting an infectious disease. Any biological lab has it greater than 1, by default, even if they do not work with any viruses . During the pandemic, all hospitals got their BR increased over 1.
Now, after an emergency, Fitz sued me for breaching our agreement. He has had a private detective in me for the better part of the past two years and kept trying building a case against me for “repeatedly violating our contract “. He kept using petty situations, like Tim being alone with my dad for 2 minutes into the men’s room at the mall while my mom and I are right in front of the door, waiting for them, even though my dad is not on the pre approved list as he has epilepsy. Or me not having an epi pen at my home because I gave it to Fitz as his was about to expire and it was his turn to pick up Tim who has severe allergies, even though our agreement said to have one at all times. (Just to make it clear, I bought a new one before getting Tim back). He also tried to paint me as a danger for having had seen a psychiatrist in highschool and early college. The reason was an eating disorder, nothing that could be any danger, which Fitz was aware of.
Even though all his so said proofs and breaches of contract were silly, with the most serious one described in the linked post, the trial got very intense, with him attacking me on a personal level. While we live in a big city, it quickly became the biggest gossip in our community, being on the lips of all the moms from pre school, most of them siding with me. Unfortunately, as much as I tried and couldn’t keep it all from Tim, since he was asked lots of questions by the kids at pre-school who heard about the situation. He became very stressed and started having night terrors.
I tried to reason with Fitz for Tim’s sake with no luck. 2 days ago, Fitz’s sister, Mia, came to see me. She wanted to give me something that could end all the stress Tim was under.
Almost 3 years ago, Fitz’s dad had a heart attack and almost died, but made a miraculous recovery. While he was in a coma, Fitz and Mia took Tim to the hospital to see his grandfather for what was thought to be the last time. Fitz’s entire family agreed there was no point in telling me, since I was very empathetic about the entire situation and even suggested that Tim and I could go visit him in the hospital once I picked him up from Fitz. They refused, however, since Tim already visited him, but did not mention this to me. She gave me texts to prove everything she was saying, and showing that Fitz knowingly breached our agreement and hid this from me for years on purpose.
My lawyer says that since this event occurred before all the ones he tries to use against me, it could get the entire case dismissed immediately, since it would have voided the parenting agreement we had. He guarantees me a win nonetheless, it would just take longer if we don’t use this. My parents think I should be the bigger person and not use it, as it is cruel and I should be an example for Tim for when he will be older. They insist that I would be in the wrong, especially since I would win nonetheless. I, however, just want to end this nightmare for good, and take care of the emotional health of my son.
I don’t know what I should do or how I should protect Tim at this point as I believe he should have a father and he and Fitz are really close, but at the same time, Fitz does hurt Tim a lot these days.

I can live easy as a boy but i if i take more time living as a boy ill hate it so i kind off have mild dysphoria i have dysphoria to an extent and if i live as a girl with hrt ill be happy i have euphoria so clearly i am trans+i wore fem clothes some i kind of have euphoria pretty late like when i wear fem i just feel calm but when i think i want to be a girl fully i feel euphoric!!! I just dont understand why some people say that someone can be cis when there trans or be trans when there cis hell no you cant you fools ive tried it is not how it works your cis unless your proven otherwise and when your proven trans you just cant change it is not some game you where an egg silly +add on that when you think your trans and became cis and successeded let me tell you ,you werent trans in the first place ugh how patheitic can people be just pissess me off i am sorry i am angry i have all the right to do so you ruined my life me trying to be cis lmao i am trans and all gender diverse people are trans too thank you .

Context: Started at a 3PL warehouse 9 months ago as a Team leader was demoted & palmed off to a different department. My work ethic with previous employer was spotless but am now unmotivated and couldn’t care less.
I feel like I have an innate ability to know if someone is genuine or not bc I literally sensed red flags the first day I met my supervisor (who turned out to be a toothless, narcissistic and corrupted SOB, proving my first impression to be 100% correct)
I tried really hard to carry out my role but he constantly sabotaged my efforts by intentionally not training me or restricting me to tasks that weren’t mine to carry out. (Manager even admitted she knew he wasn’t training me)
I still had a good rapport with the team despite this but I felt guilty bc I really couldn’t support them with the minimal knowledge I had. Everything I knew by the 6 month mark, I had figured out for myself. I knew I hated how he played favouritism with admins & talked down to his hard working team but I couldn’t put my finger on why I despised him.
I was literally silent and only spoke when spoken to but was never insubordinate. I wouldn’t even laugh at his jokes. Got to the point where I was outwardly expressing that he was annoying by rolling my eyes or smacking my lips but it literally took everything in me not to because I could see straight through him & hated that he has gotten by however long he’s lived by projecting his insecurities on to everyone else.
Eventually got demoted & thrown into a diff department & now I can’t for the life of me muster up enough of facade to pretend I care. I hate that my employers values are not aligned with mine but I’m stuck in the mindset that it’s hard to find another job.
My employer has imposed a (somewhat fair) rule that there is to be no line of employees waiting by the clock out machine & that if we’re there earlier than 2:30pm we must clock out. The line of people are repeat offenders and yes I’m always in that line bc they are too lol & I hate that the wannabe “old timers or OG’s” literally clock out despite not being in the queue with the rest of us. Employer also pulled me in to HR and really tried to pressure me about taking carers leave even tho I had sufficient evidence and documentation. Since then, zero fks given.
I clock out a whole 10 mins early, bludge every time I see someone else bludge, take extended breaks and am unapologetic about making mistakes. I walk past the big bosses and HR office & I still don’t care. I think part of me wants to get let go or pulled up so I can tell em what’s up.. at least I’d have time to job hunt.
I don’t know what the point of this post is.

So currently my husband’s entire family (parents,sister and Nani) has come to stay with us. Since, they have come, after office and on weekends he only spend time with them along with our 9 month old baby. He would only come in our room to sleep. Neither he talks to me nor we have any physical intimacy between us.
To give more context he is the dominating partner in our relationship where he decides everything, he doesn’t like if I do not agree with him or want something else. He want me to always talk in polite tone (even when I do not agree with him or is angry/upset) but he can say the most hurtful things when angry or use his hand gesture at me or shout at me or push me or say things like ‘yahan se niklo’ or ‘mujhse baat mat karo’ or ‘mera dimaag mat khao’
Last night I asked him about his behaviour towards me and said that since his family had come he does not have anytime for me. To this he said ‘he thinks our frequency doesn’t match now a days’. During the discussion he also started complaining about my weight gain post pregnancy and how he doesn’t like when I do not agree with him. Overall, he wants a wife who listen to him, do as he like and love his family (whereas he can treat my parents as low level citizen, see my earlier post).
We had a love marriage 7 years ago (dated for 5 years before marriage) but now he has changed completely. I used to think that after baby, love between couple blossoms but in our case it has worsened. All of this is very suffocating for me, last night all I wanted to do is resign from my job and take my baby with me and live with my parents. But then I thought I come from a conservative family, I also love him and care for him. My parents will be shattered by all this.
All this is affecting me and my mental health a lot. At night I have to take sleeping pills to sleep. I want to work on my marriage and relationship with my husband, I want him to also love me (like I love him) and prioritise me as well. Please guide me how I can do this .
Sometimes I feel if I leave him it won’t affect him much, he will be happy with his family and will find someone else. Even if he doesn’t he will still be happy. Whereas I will be totally lost in this world, I won’t have anything left in my life and I won’t be able to love anyone else ever.