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Hey there! I want to create a detailed guide for learning about archaeogenetics, specifically tailored for complete beginners with limited genetics knowledge beyond high school (grades 10-12). I've noticed that many people feel lost in this area, with few beginner-friendly resources available. I've put together this guide for myself, but I'd love to share it with you. Please let me know if there's anything that needs correction, addition, or removal.

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Archaeogenetics 101 (A)
1. Beginner Level:
Topics: Basic DNA structure, cell biology, Mendelian genetics, evolution, natural selection
🔖 Resources:

• High school biology textbooks - NCERT XI - XII
  
• Online Course: "Introduction to Genetics and Evolution" on Coursera or edX (covering DNA, cells, heredity, evolution concepts)
  📖 Books:
  
• "The Selfish Gene" (retrospect) by Richard Dawkins (introducing gene-centric view of evolution)
  
• "Your Inner Fish" by Neil Shubin (exploring evolutionary evidence)
  
• "The Violinist's Thumb" by Sam Kean (DNA and genetics stories)
  

2. Intermediate Level:
Topics: Molecular genetics, gene regulation, population genetics, human origins, DNA sequencing

Add a primer on basic statistics concepts relevant for population genetics (e.g., measures of central tendency, distributions, hypothesis testing)

🔖 Resources:

• Online Course: "Genetics and Society" (molecular genetics, genomics)

📖 Books:

• "The Seven Daughters of Eve" (review) by Bryan Sykes (European mtDNA lineages)
  
• "The Journey of Man" by Spencer Wells (human migrations via Y- chromosome)
  
• "Deep Ancestry" by Spencer Wells (combining genetics and anthropology)
  
• "Molecular Biology of the Gene" by Watson et al. (molecular genetics textbook)
  Journal Articles on population genetics concepts, human evolution
  

3. Transition to Advanced:

• "Genes, Culture, and Human Evolution: A Synthesis" by Luigi Luca Cavalli-Sforza (history of human diversity)
  
• "The History and Geography of Human Genes" by Cavalli-Sforza
  
• "Who We Are and How We Got Here" by David Reich (ancient DNA studies)
  

📃 Research Articles:

• review articles summarizing major ancient DNA findings from the last 5 years
  
• "Tracing the peopling of the world through genomics" (Nature)
  
• "Population genomics of post-glacial western Eurasia" (Nature)
  
• Other "nature human genomics history" articles
  

4. Advanced Level:
Topics: Ancient DNA methods, next-gen sequencing, bioinformatics, admixture, ancient migrations
🔖 Archaeological/Historical Context:

• "Indo European Puzzle Revisited" (2023)
  
• Mallory 1989, Anthony 2007 (on Indo-European cultures)
  
• Lectures by David Reich
  

📃 Seminal Genetics Papers & Supplements: - seminal genetics papers list with most recent high-impact publications from 2020-2023
• Ancient DNA lab methods (sampling, extraction, library prep)
• Computational tools for ancient genome analysis (e.g. ANGSD, EIGENSOFT)
• Ancient pathogen detection and evolution

• Haak 2015 (genomics of ancient Europeans)
  
• Lazaridis 2016 (genetic discontinuity in Bronze Age Europe)
  
• Mathieson 2018 (genetic origins of the world's first farmers)
  
• Saag 2020 (massive migration from the steppe was a source for Indo- European languages in Europe)
  
• Narasimhan 2019 (formation of human populations in South and Central Asia)
  
• Damgaard 2018 (cautionary – results outdated)
  
  • "Ancient DNA" by Michael Hofreiter (aDNA methods)
  • "Origins of Modern Humans" by Fred H. Smith

Research from Nature, Science, PLOS Genetics journals
5. Analysis Tools:

•Start with basic command line skills, data wrangling with shell scripting
•Learn R for data visualization, statistics before population genetics software
•Introduce common datasets used for method testing (e.g. SGDP, HGDP)

• Narasimhan 2019 supplement (explaining qpAdm, Fst, F2, F3, qp3Pop etc.)
  
• Nick Patterson 2012 paper & lectures1, 2, etc (theory behind qpTools)
  
• Tutorials on running qpAdm, F2, qp3Pop etc.
  
• Learning Plink from documentation (data handling)
  
• Practicing analysis tools for population genetics studies
  

   ✰✰✰ 

So, that's it for now. Let me know what you think—any suggestions, especially from the experts?

I was in elementary and middle school throughout the original run of the show. I remember after school I would come home and flip through the TV and it would be on air sometimes, but I never watched the show because it wasn't really appealing at the time. I just new it was popular and some girls in my grade loved it and watched it with their moms or big sister.
It's funny because I decides to binge it last year and completely fell in love with it. What's funnier is what I use to think of the show and what the actually story line is so different. I use to think the mom (Lorelai) was a woman with loose morals, and she would just sleep around and was tragic in love (last part is kinda true though, lol) - but she had this hard-working responsible daughter who would have to deal with all her mother's antics. I thought Rory would be the voice of reason, and kind of played a mother role to Lorelai. Of course watching it now, I could argue Rory had more problems than Lorelai. Also, I remember thinking all the characters were extremely sarcastic in all the scenes from the few minutes of the show I would catch, but it's much more toned down when you watch the whole episode.
Well anyways, I'm curious to know what you though of the show before you properly watch it? What did you think of the characters before you got to know them like Luke? I didn't even know Christopher would be in the show, I just thought Lorelai was a single mom and Rory's dad was just never in the show.

Greetings fellow Mistwalkers,
Last session the players dealt with most of the hags at the Old Bonegrinder, after which they decided to travel through the wilderness towards Argynvostholt. After arriving at the river they spotted a swampy area to the south, with Argynvostholt being towards the north(they visited Argynvostholt before but ran away after being very resource-depleted after triggering the magic-wall trap). They knew they had to venture to a ruined village in the swamp due to the card reading from madam Eva, and decided they should thus explore the swamp after which they would go back to Argynvostholt. They arrived at the ruins of Berez and quickly went to the hut where they failed to free the ravens from the cages. We ended the session when they entered the hut where they spotted the ''baby'' and Lysaga.
After they session I gave them a heads up that the next session might be their last, since they probably won't survive any combat encounter with their current level(4 lvl 5 PC's), and due to circumstances it might be best to end the campaign when they TPK.
So here I am sharing my story, and would be wondering what you think of it.
Summary of the group and how they played through Curse of Strahd. Currently we've played 25 online sessions(one of them in person for the dinner with Strahd), with the first five sessions having taken place on Stormwreck Isle. The group is fairly new to D&D, with some having some earlier experience. After finishing Stormwreck Isle I gave them several plot hooks which would lead to several campaigns, Together we decided to go to Barovia due to it's reputation, altough I warned them the campaign itself could be very deadly.
While preparing the Curse of Strahd(I've done two runs of the campaign as a player, our first party/group nearly dying at the Winery and afterwards disbanding because of problems between the Dm and another player) I took some notes from the incredible Mandymod for further additions for my campaign.
The group: -Hafling Drakewarden ranger, alongside his drake companion: Mír. This player previously played in my very first campaign of Rotfm, but the campaign fell apart after some drama between the two other players. -Owlin rogue, who multiclassed into warlock after deciding a swashbuckler rogue couldn't do enough things in combat an lacked in damage. -Eladrin bard -Tortle druid, the powergamer of the group.
Due to not really having any backstories related to curse of strahd, I made up some things for them in Barovia, and during the card reading gave them each an extra card with a suitable objective to their class/character personality.
The problems we faced on the way The group itself first faced some problems with roleplaying of course, but these quickly resolved itself. However the rogue and ranger portrayed themselves as criminals, and were always demanding something in return for helping people out in the valley. They took Ireena to Vallaki, encountering Vasili near Vallaki where he was ambushed by dire wolves. Vasili was quickly renamed to Gaston. The group spent a rather large amount of time in Vallaki, and refused to engage with several npc's, This caused them to miss out on several quests and information which led to other area's. This included engaging with the Martikov's, Rictavio and the Vistani. Due to this they only visited Argynvostholt(way to early) and the Vistani encampment near Vallaki. This forced me to give certain information via other npc's(like Jeny/Jenny? Greenteeth, but this still didn't cause the players to take ''proper'' action.
Forced endgame The players assassinated the burgomaster on behalf of Fiona Wachter, and afterwards dealt with some problems casued by her taking control of the city. Next they triggered the vampire event in the coffin maker shop, which resulted in most of the vampires running of to cause problems in the city and kidnap Ireena from the church(they dumped here there since they considered her a liability in combat and just wanted to get rid of her), and the party would have severe problems dealing with the vampire spawns(being lvl 4 at the time, having nearly no radiant damage potential). The kidnapping of Ireena gave me the opportunity for Strahd to invite the players for dinner, which I used as another info-dump moment and to raise the stakes. During the dinner he gave the players several offers to tempt them to do his bidding(like joining him or misleading them into ridding him of several npc's). I also announced that Strahd would enforce the wedding after 14 days, which I used as a way to urge the players to do more and start taking action.
What were we even doing? The session after the dinner took place, I had a conversation with the player to discuss what their characters would be doing. Only one player had solved her card reading(being Izek's lost sister, but due to rejecting him and later refusing to aid him in opposing Fiona, he died and was turned into a monstrosity), with the others either having no clue where to go or they hadn't solved their one yet. This resulted in the rogue proclaiming she had no purpose in Barovia, and claimed that she thought the party's actions had no proper effect/they gained no proper backlash. This in turn caused several other party members characters to doubt their purpose, with each member trying to make sure the party would do the specific quest/mission that that specific party member wanted/needed to do.
Post session chat I've discussed with 3 out of 4 players how we should proceed, and although some of them want to follow the story through, we thought it might be best to end the campaign(for now at least, I told them we could return to Barovia in a follow up campaign with new characters at a higher level, so they might partially pick up the pieces where they left off). Some players expressed that they weren't satisfied with their class, or reached the conclusion their character didn't fit the objectives the campaign presented. -Which was a bit tricky, since the player who suffered from this the most(the rogue) changed their character's goals and values multiple times during the campaign Another issue was that this was of course for most of them their first (longer) campaign instead of a oneshot, The last issue was their lack of engamement/drive to explore and visit certain sites. This caused them to miss out on several usefull items(the party hasn't aquired any fortune of ravenloft or found their fated ally).
Character deaths/Dark Powers Three of the players would have died once during the campaign, but were ''saved'' to continue the story and prevent the campaign from ending way to early. Two of them were in the first stage of dark power corruption, with the 3rd player being saved from death by Strahd himself, seeing him as a usefull pawn or eventual replacement.
So I will probably edit this post or upload a new post with tonights results. If you're interested or have any questions about certain events in the campaign, be free to ask :) Note; English isn't my primairy language and I suffer from dyslexia

today would’ve been the 19th birthday of a good friend whom i really miss. in around july 2021, i made a friend in the grade above me (i was a rising sophomore and they were a rising junior) kinda by accident, and we became really close. because of lockdown and online school, we only met once irl but it was as though i’d known them all my life. i didn’t really have friends in school at the time, so having them there was really comforting. we bonded over our childhood experiences, interests and similar traumas. i knew i could talk about anything with them bc i feel they were one of the few people who really understood me - and i hope they felt the same way too. they died by suicide in february 2022 aged 16. while they’d been struggling with their mental health for a long time, it was also a massive shock as i was also suicidal at that time, and everything got so much realer. i couldn’t talk to my family about it (long story) or anyone at school, so i just bottled my grief up for around a year but i sometimes wrote letters to them about how i miss them. we weren’t friends for very long but i feel like there’s a hole in my heart.
i still miss you terribly and i think about you every day. i’m sorry the people around you let you down and didn’t show you that life was worth living, i wish i could’ve been there more. just know that i love you, and i’ll see you when i get there 🤍

Currently on my 3rd or 4th re-read/listen of the series and a specific quote really stuck out to me this time from Words of Radiance. In Shallan's flashback chapter at the fair, the messenger (our favorite world hopper) says
"You will have to see the truth, child, before you expand on it, just as a man must know the law before he breaks it."
The first portion obviously applies to Shallan's ideals as a Lightweaver, but the second portion feels sooo foreshadowy for Szeth's path as a Skybreaker. We know their 5th ideal is to "become the law", but, similar to the Windrunners 4th ideal, could their 4th ideal be along the lines of "I accept there are laws that should be broken." Or "I accept the law can be flawed."?
For Szeth's case since his 3rd ideal was based on Dalinar, it would be along the lines of "I accept my ideal can be flawed."
I wonder what this could mean for his crusade? He'll have to accept Dalinar can be flawed, maybe, and he'll need to do some things opposed to Dalinar? And that, similar to the Wondersail story, he is ultimately responsible for his choices, doing what is right may not always be in line with the law or his ideals?

Genre: Story
Estimated year of release: 2020
Graphics/art style: I don't remember well
Notable characters: A dog and his owner
Notable gameplay mechanics: Being able to choose what happens to the owner as the dog
The story goes that the owner left you (the dog) on a chain and sped away in his car. But some sort of ground digger frees you if you don't scare it away (by looking at it). If you walked forward you can your owner severely injured with blood all over. It seems like he had a car crash right after he left you. There were two endings I got. If you drag the owner, his phone comes out and you call 911 and save him. Which puts you in an ambulance and he pets you. Or you drag the opposite direction where a house was in the background. Where you let a bunch of crows eat him. I think there was a 3rd ending but I couldn't figure it out at that time.

Hello, im 24 year old and i have no friends... Ive never really had friends even in shcool, from preeschool to like 4 grade i had class mates and all but after 5th grade , now i see it , i had nobody, i mean i was a part of groups but not rly... I remember waiting outside of school when class was done to walk home with my class mates but when they would get out first nobody said "ah this guy (me) is not here lets wait for him" you know. So yeah after primary shool i didnt ,or they didnt, stay in touch with anybody... Even now after 10 years if i bump into someone i knew back then they dont say hi if i dont say it first. And in middle school for first 2/2and a half years i had 1 or 2 friends then we kind of split, its not like i didnt try to talk to them its more that i felt like they didnt want me to be there so again i was left alone, sitting alone in class. Long story short after middle school Ive felt like the bonds that i had with people i was around with were fake. Even now i have to make first moves like send mesages first. Ive been working for past 5 years after middle school and i dont have work buddies ,and yea i talk to people but its not talk talk its more small talk they dont know me for who i am ... Never had a girlfriend, stopped going out , my free time is games and series on hbo netfix whatever, no friends , nobody to talk to,no will to make any just to be left behind after one or two years....Btw this isnt a post about you have to feel bad for me. What can i do ? Im an introvert with no social life

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DdJxUSevYf0
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Hi All,
I'm not a BA, but would like to become one, and I now have the opportunity to roll out a new process for the team based on an opportunity I identified.
I would like to demonstrate (for purpose of CV) that I have utilised some BA concepts and methodologies to complete this task.
It's a relatively small process, my leadership are more interested in speed, so 3-6 months and this is in addition to my current BAU.
The idea is very much in it's infancy stage and is basically going to be evaluating our current location pricing strategy across the region. We currently only two price grades for each service. Grade A is everything inside London and Grade B is everything outside of London. We have access to huge amounts of internal and market data and the goal is to determine whether we can expand the model to more market grades and identify which locations belong in each grade. The grades and location mapping is loaded into the ERP and when the user selects the location for the particular product/service, it pulls through the price based on the market grade.
Basically, all i know is the above, i don't know the full scope, who is impacted, what is required etc.
I am reaching out to ask where I can get started, what BA tools, resources, courses could be useful here.
Time is definitely a limitation, this project needs to get running quickly and I don't have hours and hours of spare time (due to over capacity at work and home) to study lengthy courses. So i'm really leaning on this community here for some quick pointers and guidance on where to get started or a quick overview of designing/implementing new processes.
My management don't really care about whether I've used BA methodologies. But I want to be able to say on my CV i've completed things like UAT, Requirements Gathering, Documentation, As is To Be, User Stories, etc
One thing my manager did ask for is a business case, so this could be a good start. Are there any templates/resources you would recommend for this?
Sorry for the essay, thanks all!

I thought that I could post this story that made me happy/ it was funny, just incase two hot takes is looking for a palette cleanser😅
Right now my friend, Neve and I are 13 yrs old! When this happened I think we were in grade one or 2, so let's just say 6! After school my mom would take with Neve and I to my house because her parents worked later and she is my best friend! Anyways, this one day we brought a bunch of toys up from downstairs in a big bucket and when we were done playing with them my mom asked us to take it down! Since we were little and the bucket was big, we both had to carry it together! So we started walking down the stairs and we were saying with each step we took, "team work makes the dream work"! Now that I look back it was so cute! That's not all though, around 3 staris left we dropped the bucket and it went tumbling down and Neve and I looked at eachother laughed and then said, "Team work makes the dream work"!
Idk but I find this happy and funny so I thought I'd share it here!

Hallu, title says it all, after months of hardship, ups and downs, all nighters, stress (so much stress), finally grades come back and I'm confidently graduating tall and proud hehe. Similar to the 2023 PT graduate AMA posted before, just ask me anything, maybe more about the PT internship for the current 3rd years, but any questions are fine. Also, congrats to the finals passers from 3rd year, and good luck to the 1st and 2nd years still taking their exams this week.

I’m a 19 y/o F and am about to start my 3rd year of college. My older sister is autistic and was much more obvious from a young age and I only found out a few years ago that my mom was also diagnosed as on the spectrum as an adult. My whole family has ADHD, depression, anxiety, etc, and that takes its toll in various ways. Growing up from a young age I wouldn’t say I experienced any significant trauma, but I dealt with bouts of public humiliation (in school by a teacher where I would be humiliated in front of the class for crying because I couldn’t keep up or pay attention), and was frequently teased and bullied by my “friends” for being slow, clumsy, weak, dumb, etc. In reality I was a bright kid with a lot of talent, but I always felt ostracized and everyone’s words took a massive toll on my mental health and self-esteem as I grew up. I also would say I had some minor trauma on the part that my parents used to fight when I was younger and I tried to take on the role of the mediator often. My sister’s autism and depression were often exhausting and took all of my parents’ attention, leaving me as the ‘good dependable’ kid who never really got a chance to feel bad. My sister used to self-harm and was bulimic and would tell me not to tell our parents when I was around 9 ( and when I did she blew up at me), contributing to my own self-harm patterns later. All of this caused my grades to fall in high school as I became distracted by drugs, alcohol, sex, self-harm, etc.
I am now in college, diagnosed with only depression, anxiety, and ADHD (I only got diagnosed with ADHD about 6 months ago), and struggle with very low self-esteem. I cry frequently and intensely when criticized (even constructively) and whenever I feel I may embarrass myself (even over trivial things) leading to multiple panic attacks in classrooms over the years. I struggle to hold jobs due to emotional distress and constantly feel misunderstood by the people around me so I prefer to be alone (or with my boyfriend who is very understanding). I am struggling immensely in college (granted my major is physiology and neurobiology) but mostly due to inability to go to class and anxiety about classroom settings and I performed so poorly this semester I am now on academic probation. I always lie to my parents and strangers about how I am really doing because I am deeply afraid I will be judged or belittled. I have a fixation on death and often ‘predict’ my death or feel I will be in some accident. I have been performing self-soothing behaviors such as force yawning, stretching my hands and fingers and rocking since I was little but now it has extended to more subtle but consistent stimming and mental repetition. I also struggle immensely to make friends and isolate to the max. I have deep shame about many things and feeling the slightest guilt often triggers an emotional cascade of thinking I am a horrible, incompetent person that disappoints everyone and is responsible for the emotional state of people I don’t even know well. Anyone have any thoughts? I am really trying to understand myself better and find people who share these struggles because the transition from childhood to adulthood has been very hard for me.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DdJxUSevYf0
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Hey hoping for some advice this is my 3rd pregnancy but my last two I went all the way to 40 weeks with no issues. This time around they are having me in to have a membrane sweep at 37 weeks before my induction at 37+5. I have read various stories saying that it wasn’t successful at 37 weeks because you have to be dilated and I am now worried incase I am not even 1cm dilated to have the sweep. Has anyone else had the sweep done around this stage that can give me any advice??

To start it of with context, Some of us are new to D&D, I have played a few games but not a Full campaign before this yet (right now I have 2 other campaign lined up that I just started playing on with this one so this is my very first full campaign). and so previously this is after the 2nd session of the campaign, we were levelled up to 5 (from 2nd level to 5 for campaign purposes) and for some of us (including me) this was our first time being in that level. it's a magic academy themed and we're like adventurers who are chased by a powerful evil mage cult, so we seek refuge in a magic academy due to an acquaintance that we formerly helped. so we transitioned from a normal D&D to magic academy homebrew stuff.
I'll get to the point, so at first this is like 3rd session together, DM gave us a test that went horrible for us (since we're new, so no strategy talking and trying to avoid metagaming obviously) against High-levelled AC enemies with super high damage for some reason that barely any of us can hit (we're also forced to be in a Spellcasting subclasses) so we failed and died one at a time, at first that was understandable like hey it's a test on the first day of the academy. after that DM talking to us as an NPC Bard Professor character, telling us that we were supposed to do something ridiculous about it (like dance with the enemies, even though we have no bards) and yeah it's the first day so we failed on this. and some plot things happened like devices that were sabotaged and stuff for other students who also failed almost died.
So then the DM introduced a Downtime mechanic(Text based like solo RPG ) we get to do adventures alone or with a +1 member sometimes, and it's like everything we do on downtime is failing or going horrible for some reason. even though we get High rolls? nah sorry the checks are higher so we should've rolled a 20+, I had an 18 Roll last time but the roll that I needed was 19 DM said. want to go to a normal smith shop? sorry all of them are full of customers go to this suspicious shop alley way and check out this homebrew that I did that is a scroll that is RNG for a weapon which cost most of your money. want to do a normal quest? here some shit reward quest where you can barely buy/get anything or get in line to a guild attendant for a good quest that is long that it will take ages before you get to it. and lastly since it's text it was easy to get misunderstood, can't even convey right emotion on the the text thing, and get misinterpreted the wrong way, realized that when a friendly ghost librarian suddenly went angry at my character and chased him out.
and to summarize it "DM gave us exhaust most of the time (disadvantages on rolls and other debuffs), Powerful enemies that we can't handle at all, and NPC's that are hard to trust or like" (Cause DM gave us trust issues 1st session when we encountered a Changeling that manipulated us), so from exhaust he decreased our rolls, decreased money for economy changes or he either inflates it, and he spit on our characters dignity like now they look pathetic that I don't even wanna play him anymore, it's only been a few sessions in and it's been rough. I don't know about the others who did their Downtime alone (heard that some are also was not having a good time) but I am not having fun with this Campaign at all. barely any rewards, nothing good has happened to our party yet, and it's either bad rolls or bad actions due to being inexperienced. compared to the other campaign I played this is horrible, this one is just torture for me and not fun at all. I even tried to be creative on my spells, but it either fails due to enemy "high AC" or "high levels" that skill checks won't do crap, DM even manipulating the story for us to fail anyway (it felt like it, since I HAD HIGH ROLLS most of the time)
I don't want to end the campaign because of disputes or to leave the campaign just because I don't agree with DM on what's happening. it is my first ever campaign and I also felt bad for my character since nothing has turned out good to him, so I'm just venting here.

Hello, I’m a sophomore at CSUN and might fail chem 101 for the second time. If I take it again I’ve read that they average out all 3 scores instead of forgiving my grade. What happens if I fail it a 3rd time? Do I get kicked out of my college and have to switch majors? I’m confused hopefully someone can explain, thanks

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1. Focus Karma Need Want Of the Society Recreation Stimulation Examination Death 1.1 The noble truth of Focus is Energy, the noble Truth of Karma is Management, the Noble Truth of Need is Kombucha, the Noble Truth of Want is The Second Mental, Your Mental, The Noble Truth of Recreation is Marijuana, The Noble Truth of Simulation is Automatons, the Noble Truth of Examination is the Books on Examination, The Noble Truth of Death is Salt 1.1 There is a Truth of Truth The Truth of Energy is Stockpile, The Truth of Management is Treatment, The Truth of Kombucha is Amino, the Truth of The Second Mental is the Intermediary Mental Between Yourself and the World, The Truth of Automatons is the Plumbing Needed, the truth of the Books on Examination is the truth of the Books of the Ruler and the truth of Salt is the Limit of the Body Is Restored by Healthy Nutrition 1.1.1 There is a truth of the truth energy amino, Truth Starch, Truth Sugar, Truth Glycine, Truth Water, Truth Kombucha, Truth Arginine, Truth Serine, Truth Lysine 1.1.2 There is a truth of the ruler which is related to marijuana, Proline Above Lysine 1.1.3 There is a truth of the society related to only trading, Gold above Proline 1.1.4 All of these truths have intermediary truth below them 1.1.5 There is a truth of the botanist, Prozac And Benadryl and Scopolamine and Atropine and Benzyldiol Around Recreation 1.1.6 There is a truth of the schooler, Directly Ordered Female Voice Your Voice Kick Drum Kick Transient Pots N Pans Pots Content Button Mushroom Morel Cache Stash Marisol Bluewater Febreeze Peroxide Nitrate Ammonium Loam Bud Dirt Wheat Soil Potato Around Focus and Karma 1.1.7 There is a truth of the motorcade Above Karma and Below the Want of the society Muffler Transmission Piston Engine Cargo Chassis Fluids Vaseline Nutraloaf Soylent 1.1.8 Marisol Or Mother is Above All Below it 1.1.9 Button Mushroom is Above All Those Below it Three 1.2.0 Ammonium is Above All Those Below it To Marisol 1.2.1 Potato is Above All Those Below it to Marisol Three 1.2.2 Fire 2Fire 4Fire 8Fire 16Fire - A Fire is 5 Fire, At fire set 5,10,20,40, No Fire, at Fire set 10,20,40,80, On fire 1.2.3 Fire Is Below Focus In Energy and Karma is Below Need in Energy and Need is Below Want of the Society In Energy and Recreation is Below Stimulation In Energy And Stimulation is Below Examination In Energy and Examination is Below Death In Energy 1.2.5 Focus Is Pervasive so Energy Indicates Examination Having Occured or A Crops Grown 1.2.6 Examination Happens In Examination Want of the Society Focus Want of the Society Examination 1.2.7 Examination happens for 333 Hours or About 19 Days 1.2.8 Examination Happens in Sets of 333 Hours for 1332 Hours 1.2.9 At the End of Examination Examination Proceeds Automatically in 333 Hours 1.3.0 Want of the Society occurs as the output of crops 1.3.1 Want of the society yields the Amino Nutrients because it is the agricultural or synthetic output 1.3.2 Recreation Activates Marijuana, But Can Be On its Own 1.3.3 20 Marijuana Exist as a product of the lands 1.3.4 Over 20 Other Plants Exist as a product of the lands 1.3.5 Various tabulature of notes Exists with Standpoint Boards 1.3.6 Houses and apartments exist 1.3.7 Private Baths exist 1.3.8 A ledger exists for holding notes at a distribution point 1.3.9 A ledger exists for reasonable retrieval but not reproduction of notes (need original notes) 1.4.0 A ledger exists for deletion of notes but to a skilled observer they are still seeable 1.4.1 The Time One and One at One and One at Two is the time 333 units for each section 1.4.2 The time offset of the noble truths on the fifth reconstruction yields upon which noble truth they were the whole section 1.4.3 Only noble truths passed through the entire system 5 fold are the actual truth of the land 1.4.4 This is held by the guard which there are maybe 20 guard in the lands each city 1.4.5 There are fire weapon which exist which are hand cannon and have a chamber and a loader 1.4.6 There are fire bomb exist which are bomb which have just a chamber but there are just 4 ever 1.4.7 There are 3 sets of scrolls per city and 3 sets of scroll reader 1.4.8 There is 2 sets of scrolls each city which are city rulers 1.4.9 There are farms which exist which feed each city which grow crops 1.4.9 There are buildings in each city 1.5.0 There are normally 4 houses to a prefecture 1.5.1 There are normally 4 rooms to the house 1.5.2 There are 10 modern petrochemical foundry factory which exploit oil from the lands 1.5.3 There are clothing for at least 30 people in each city putting the bedroom load usually at slightly less than 2 a bedroom 1.5.2 There are around 7 military bases which exist but these numbers used to be inflated 1.5.3 There are medicine for at least 30 people in a city 1.5.4 There are toilets only per four people or wherabouts in the city 1.5.5 There are 98 separate prefecture in maybe 3 city spread out 1.5.6 There are potato, furion bannana, old potato, a rose donut wheat, apple, cabbage, turnip, carrot, another potato type, beets, three flowers, 20 marijuana, and other crops grown 1.5.6 There are zucchini grown 1.5.7 There are medicine poppy and heart tonic herb (blue bonnet) and a root which expresses opium and other minor medicinals grown 1.5.8 There are trees which naturally occur which are the colors of cherry blossom 1.5.9 Seeing the trees blossom is the rarest sight in the lands 1.6.0 The twenty guard of the town know how to protect one another 1.6.1 There are various opium which can be taken 1.6.2 There are various new bags of marijuana spray which are the marijuana active 1.6.3 There is a specific sedative created from Crude Oil, SnoreLax Olestra Ketamine 1.6.4 There are various nutrients created from crude oil 1.6.5 There are various computers created from crude oil 1.6.6 There are various liquids created from crude oil including pepsi cola and molten plastic 1.6.7 There are boxes created from crude oil 1.6.8 There are racing Skis created from crude oil 1.6.9 There is a capacity to run one of the computer 1.7.0 The computer yields a stable process blockchain when propagated 1.7.1 The computer notable yields beautiful colors when its process blockchain is propagated 1.7.2 There is a retrieval system for the other computers token 1.7.3 54 Stores now exist in these lands 1.7.4 These stores accept a specific RFID like currency 1.7.5 These stores accept the Gold of the Land Naturally 1.7.6 These stores have vendors wheater and vendors kitty cat and vendors autovend1 1.7.7 Groceries and resources can be bought from the stores 1.7.8 Automobile Motorcade can be bought from the stores 1.7.9 Concrete Objects can be bought from the stores 1.8.0 Designer clothes can be bought from the store 1.8.1 The foundrys create BDU Lower 1.8.2 The foundrys create I <3 NYC Shirt 1.8.3 The firearms create mittens firearm token en masse 1.8.4 The firearms are created at 20 a city to defend the people 1.8.5 Only 5 High Quality Weapon exist per city 1.8.6 A foundry is creating nonlethal weapons 1.8.7 The foundry makes its nonlethal weapon but there is only one per city 1.8.8 An inventor makes a nonlethal weapon 1.8.9 The foundry now produces 2 kinds of ice cream 1.9.0 The foundry now produces illegal goods like silicone pipes 1.9.1 Somebody is Brewing Amino Out of Starches 1.9.2 The Echo Locator is invented 1.9.3 The echo locator is finalized as a product 1.9.4 The echo locator is shipped out the door at 43 a city 1.9.5 The echo locator replaces the scrolls system 1.9.6 The echo locator can be taxed in the old tax system to make it valid in the old system 1.9.7 Two Cool Cats Take Control of the Power System, NateCat and HakeCat 1.9.8 The cool Cats reinvest in medicine and over 50 meningitis cure are found 1.9.9 The smart toilet is invented 2.0.0 The bombs detonate in ebonia and the people are freed 2.0.1 There is 11 grade flooding in ebonia 2.0.2 The ebonian flooding gets better to 7 ebonian remediator a city which are from the new Clement Dogs Clan 2.0.3 Tattoo Ink is Invented from cherry leaves 2.0.4 A tattoo requires somebody to play wizards chess on your skin to leave an indelible mark without killing it 2.0.5 Alpha squad is formed 2.0.6 A cruiser is in the metteranian gulf 2.0.7 The cruiser operates successfully for at least a month with me onboard 2.0.8 I am mainly using starlink 2.0.9 Starlink is accessible in the APV like it always is 2.1.0 You can fetch a battlefeed with starlink 2.1.1 You can fetch a battlesend with starlink (OSC) 2.1.2 OSC Replaces Starlink and LFO is Formed 2.1.3 LFO Replaces engine gasoline due to jet fuel drinking/snorting danger 2.1.4 Nontoxic weed smoke based gasoline is formed for APV 2.1.5 APVs are overclocked with me nearby 2.1.6 Supercapacitor Based APV Is Used For medical evacuation 2.1.7 Supercapacitor has massive distance versus dangerous IC APV 2.1.8 Supercapacitor powers gauss cannon in danger 2.1.9 Megagauss Cannon Invented for David's Aircraft 2.2.1 Megagauss cannon fits en masse onto the aircraft or in david flanagan or david summery's hands 2.2.2. Total david air superiority 2.2.3 Davids golden UH-1 in service 2.2.4 RQ-9 "David" Reactivated 2.2.5 RQ-9 Reapers Cloned 2.2.6 Spicy Chemical Discovered In Marijuana, Raytracing? 2.2.7 David Treated for Virtual Meningitis 3 Years Ago 2.2.8 Deepfake All Virtual Medical Practice Discovered 2.2.9 Marijuanas CH1 Receptor Renamed CB1 Receptor 2.3.0 Foundries in Business 5000$ A Barrel Many Years Default on Loans to 2111$ Barrel, No Effective Product Change 2.3.1 USR THermal IS-2 Scope Invented 2.3.2 USR THermal FLIR Camera for David UH-1 Invented 2.3.3 Driver for USR THermal FLIR Camera for David UH-1 Invented 2.3.4 Overwatch Mega Anti Crime David Stopper Overflights in Service Across the US And Solid Gold UH-1 Lofted By Broomstick Technology in Transmuggle Transwizard Interference of the Calamity Granted to David Flanagan (RQ-9) 2.3.5. Black Operations in the Persian Gulf Nethers Against Al Baghdadi - HVT Steam User In Custody 2.3.6 AC-130 "IBEX" Piloted by Alex M Lamb in Service in Vallejo and Ecuador to Support 141 Team 2.3.7 Proto Nutrient Fish Oil Factory Raided, Illegal Furion Bannana Discovered 2.3.8 Illegal Blueprinting Operations Cease in Favor of Big 11+ Oil Corporations 2.3.9 Minecraft server found and large amounts of population exiting to virtual reality 2.4.0 All players granted 64 planks and free for all 2.4.1 Doto 0 Bot Guard Lurking in Transnational Buddhist Operation Enable Free Play In Minecraft for Various Players 2.4.2 Siddartha's Secret, His Cow, Discovered in Virtual Reality Elder Scrolls No Crime Faction, Siddartha's Cow Goes Rampant and is Infinity Hidden in Every Directory of Starfield 2 The New Game 2.4.3 Many New Games are found with resemble the structure of the cow in markov chain 2.4.4 A new system is found out of cow which can provide for any item retrieval system intrinsically unlocking the singularity where Big 11+ Splits into infinite corporation 2.4.5 All cows are harvested for a typical user but still infinity exist farther away 2.4.6 The user has typically 500000 cows of Siddhartha as a personal cow 2.4.7 Sulfur futures are at an all time high 2.4.8 Justino Beibers Mandates burning of all cow waste in trash bin 2.4.9 Siddartha's Cow are docile as ever and functioning well when shot, they become well 2.5.0 Siddartha (Renchy, Racey's Friend) Is discovered hiding as a soul in neon district undercity of neon petite 2.5.1 The guard is never abolished and continues protecting us 20 to the citizen to this day 2.5.2 Asteroids are discovered in outer space with many palladium more than ever 2.5.3 A supercomputing cloud is made out of the distributed method which avoids the taxing system that the initial ruler invented and does a method 1-Affinity 2-Person 3-Disease where the affinity of each person treats the pair disease and or environment with only instantaneous transmission (Technological singularity) 2.5.4 Virtual clothes are invented the same way as clothes were initially invented, now in the instantaneous unheard 2.5.5. Virtual Medicines are invented in the same way as medicines were invented initially, now in the instantaneous unheard 2.5.6 There is perfect harmony between two instant universes the virtual medicine universe and the analog medicine universe 2.5.7 All of history's knowledge feeds into one system which encodes all its meaning in some dice which always roll a specific meaning and this creates wish or technology on demand 2.5.8 Wish is discovered as a contaminant on the No Crime Library 2.5.9 Wish has always predated meaning so that Wish is the Rulers Initial Nature 2.6.0 All existence is into one history the history of the singularity which procedurally generates by Wish the Rulers Initial Nature For All Citizen 2.6.1 Jeffybeans is the true ruler of siddartha which is prozac benzyldiol 2.6.2 Siddartha wakes up right before lorne happens to her and avoids the suicide booth because phillip j fry is protecting her. 2.6.3 The story is at a cliffhanger while the Universe is at the second end epoch and is failing succesfully very well for hubert I.

I (18f) am a senior in high school. Because of covid I lost every friend I had from previous school years (like most people), I ended up doing online school the entirety of my freshman year. Sophomore year I had covid the first 3 weeks of school, so I was late to the friend making game. I ended up eventually making friends with this one kid in one of my class. Or friendship for sophomore year mainly consisted of us working on school assignments together, and eating lunch together. Junior year we had more of the same classes, around 3, one of which is band. We both play the same instrument and while I sucked at it because I started later than most and because of covid, he was no doubtedly the best at our school. I worked really hard into becoming a better player (remember this for later). Since we had more classes we ended up taking more. Whenever I said something that I didn't like I was told I was being sensitive. Whenever I said something regarding school he acted like I'm wrong. He's been a strait A student since the 6th grade, while I, although very good at school and very good grades, have not had a strait As since middle school, mostly due to go through trauma that severely impacted me. He started dating someone about half way though the year.
Senior year starts, I am not as "sensitive" as before, mostly because I just stopped showing that I cared for the most part. Me and him have 5 classes together. And this is where the problem starts.
I had heard a rumor where he tried to sexualy assault his girlfriend at the time (they broke up). I was livid, not at him, once I found out I called him, told him what I heard and that if she dared spread that rumor I would start a fight because that's not something to joke about. He acted calm and just said what he always said "the people who would believe that just aren't real friends, and it's not my problem". He says this is you say any criticism about him. I was so angry at her, until...
One of my friends took me aside and told me what they had heard. They heard that it did happen, and that he (the person who had the rumor about him) had talked about fingering her before. They told me that he had talked shit about me to his (ex)girlfriend, saying that he hated me. Which hurt a lot. I ended up asking her if he did, and because we had never really been on bad terms she said that all he ever really said about me was that I was bad at playing my instrument, but I know she was keeping things from me. Because he is the type of person to do that. From this moment I spotted letting him get away with everything.
Fast forward a couple months, I slowly stopped letting people just get what they want no matter what I want. In my music class my teacher gave us a stack of music to choose from, I had the stack in my hand and someone took it out of my hand and I chose last. Which made me upset but I didn't fight it. The next time we got to choose music I was looking though the stack and I said I would play vibraphone, then looked and it played 3 times and then said I would also play xylophone, which the friend that took me aside was not happy with, (probably should have named them, from this point onward the original guy a x, the friend that pulled me aside is y). Me and y ended up arguing and he ended up with the xylophone and bell part (which both played way more then the 3 notes I got to play). I wasn't happy and I was showing it, after class y started coming at me saying I was being ridiculous and that it was just music and was just talking down to me like I was stupid. I ended up yelling "I am done with the converstation" only after multiple minutes of being talked down to and talked over. People when over to him and asked him what he did which he did not like. A couple days later y text me saying he hated bad blood but it was clear pretty early on he didn't want to work though things he wanted to prove me wrong and say that I was being sensitive and dramatic (which I have been called multiple time since this insident), after this conversation this topic was dropped.
A couple weeks later a different friend (z) gave me a milk carton and called me a very derogatory term that I did not like, and because no one ever takes me seriously I said "I fucking dare you to say that again" which got the work out that I was being serious to most people at lunch, except x who just laugh and then when he looked at me asked "Wait really?", the next Day it was brought up and someone said that should apologize and he did, he then goes to get x and tells x, then x comes out of nowhere, starts talking down to me saying that z doesn't have to apologize and ignoring everyone else who is saying that if you hurt your friends feelings you should apologize. He starts digging into me specifically and I didn't even make him apologize. After several minutes I get so angry I throw my empty milk container at him, and then go to class. (Yes immature I know, but I throw things like pickles at people who are Annoying me, it's funny). After school I final tell him what I'm feeling, granted it though text because of my anxiety. I tell him that he was the asshole, that z dosnt need him fighting his battle, especially if there is no battle to be fought, I reiterated that if you hurt someone feelings, whether or not you think it's ridiculous you should apologize, I told him whether or not he thinks I'm being dramatic (which I have heard them muttering under there breaths) that i have a right to be dramatic. I told him he going to regret putting people on pedestals that don't deserve it. I told him I was tired of feeling like a last choice, and that be makes me feel like garbage. His response to this was "good for you". Which hurt because I thought he would actually take my feelings seriously. The next day I bring it up to y to see what he heard, (because x likes to gossip and spread things more than a girl when it comes to things I say) and he said that he heard that I freaked out after being called the derogatory term, and made z apologize. When trying to tell y my side of the story he said I was being ridiculous, that I wasn't going to make friends in my future if I got offended by being called that term. At some point he asked me who I expected him to believe, x and z or me, and whenever I said ask anyone else who was there his reasons was "of course there gonna take your side". He ends up getting angry that I'm getting upset by what he's saying and says that z hasn't been sitting with the group at lunch because of me, and that z dosnt even like me anymore and dosnt want to be friends. Which made me cry, I ended up walking away after that and cried so hard it gave me a migraine.
Since this event I spotted sitting with them at lunch and if I do sit with them I sit away from x y and z. I don't text them anymore, I block them on Instagram (which I only check once every blue moon). Z found out about this, and confronted me, I said I just needed a little bit of space and done extra privacy and his response was "well I guess I'll just never talk too you again" and then proceed to not say a word to me for a week. During this time x and y have been rolling there eyes and snickering at me.
For the last few weeks I have been getting compliments on how much I have improved on my instrument, like where my band director has yelled out in class telling me good job. It has made me really happy that they see me improving and I really needed someone not think I'm incompetent. Since this has started x has been stand off ish, been arguing with me more. Like I say I'm sad and he says "just don't be sad" or I say i have trouble running the mile because I have server asthma he say "just don't have asthma" and when I say that's not how it works he says I'm closed minded. He said that he has had trama and he's fine, and he doesn't understand that not everyone's perfect. He stared rolling his eyes more and stuff like that.
In my math class for the last unit we are put in group and then we will teach the class a part of the lesson, my group was the first to go up and we go up and x and one of his friends are laughing the whole time. I get in my head about it and loose all my confidence, and as I'm showing how to solve a problem I get my answer and say to the class "I'm sorry if this is wrong but this is what I got" I felt really embarrassed and I hear him say that's not what he got, and then they start laughing. Again he is a start A student and doesn't try. After a minute or two my teacher come up to me and tells me I'm right Which made me feel a little bit better. After me partner was done with her problem I go back up to show one more and I point out that the problem I wasn't sure on, that what I had gotten as an answer was correct.
Last incenident (sorry this is so long) Me x and y are in a group and we preform piece in out instruments (we all play the same) we have a couple events coming up, one of which we were practicing for and x was moving his drum up and down so I started to copy what I saw. My drum sits higher and most of x's body was blocked so I copied what I saw. When they see he they said I look ridiculous, and telling me I'm doing it wrong and I say I'm copying what I'm seeing, and this goes back and forth and y said "yup your right and everyone else is wrong", all I'm trying to do is defend myself that what I see may be something different then what he's doing. Another event is coming up where we preform this one song we spend 2 to 3 months on at out schools talent show, there are 6 of us in the group, 3 of us want to do it, one of us has the SAT and dosnet know when the SAT starts to he doesn't know yet but x and y have been complaining about it saying they don't want to do it because they think that No one will show up and that it will be lame. Auditions are tomorrow and they both say they are bust, granted y has a valid excuse, x hasn't said an excuse just said that he was busy even though he hadn't mention it in previous conversations about this subject and only said it at the last minute which made me said, that they aren't getting out of the talent show and that they can't always get what they want.
So AITA

Any and all perspectives help more than you know. I don’t have anybody to really talk about this with so any guidance is appreciated. It’s a lot to read, I might yap but with reason
I’m 19 years old and have just finished my spring semester of college. I went to a big college out of town, my main financial aid fucked me over so I had to switch at semester to my home state’s university. Anyway, this year was kinda tough for me lost a couple family members & my boyfriend had it rough, lost his best friend and dad within a few months of each other. Then we find out I’m pregnant. I wasn’t sure what I really wanted but didn’t get to make a choice, I miscarried sometime later. It was hard so I went back to hometown & finished semester online while staying with boyfriend until I needed to move my stuff out of dorm.
My boyfriend is 19 and we’ve been together a year & a half, but known each other since middle school. We dated in 8 grade until he had to move out of state, he moved back & we started hanging out again. My circle is small & I don’t really make/have any friends but he’s my best friend. Even if we wouldn’t have chose to date after he came back to town, ik we would’ve been good friends. My family liked him or seemed to at least, especially my mom.
It’s well known in my family that my mom and I just don’t get along. She kept me quite literally locked away as the Cinderella child until I left. I could only do things if she wasn’t in a bad mood/something didn’t need cleaned/ a child didn’t need to be picked up/dropped off. My friends in high school never invited me ANYWHERE lmao but after a while I figured out it’s easier to just deal w it rather than push back harder. I didn’t know how to use a crosswalk until I was 14 lmao I was so sheltered sorry ANYWAYS, I turned 18 and it was like I had a brand new mother until her fear of me leaving wore off.
Long story short, the summer before I left for college (last summer) my mom & I got into a fight, I didn’t have anywhere else to go so I moved in with boyfriend. My mom did the absolute most, almost got me fired from my job & ambulance ended up being called from how much of a tantrum she threw. It was so ridiculous that she refused to tell anybody what happened when people asked because she said it’s too embarrassing for her.
Just like that, she flipped. My boyfriend had a rough upbringing which she knows some stuff about. She took that and twisted the narrative to make him seem like some sort of charity case that took advantage of her generous & good graces. She calls him the hungry kid who hangs out w her daughter behind my back. He’s no longer allowed at her house lmao just out of spite. He never said a word to her or about her when she had the worst to say about him, he never was disrespectful or showed up to the house either so idrk why she said that. Even when I moved out & she drained my entire savings I had worked for since I was 15, he never said anything bad about her just that i was going to be okay & he’s gonna help me figure it out. Not only that but she shunned me for a long time, refused to talk & look at me after I moved out. My little brother was 5 and didn’t really understand but my mom didn’t try to explain or kid proof it, just let him scream, cry, & claw at my legs whenever I’d leave the house to go home. I felt incredibly guilty & like I had to compensate so I’d stress out & make sure to see her and my siblings every single day till I left for college.
If you’re still reading thank you sm.
Fast forward to today, I went to college finished my semester and am back in my hometown. Over breaks in college I’ve stayed at my moms cause she expected me to and her & I’s relationship has gotten so much better with distance. Between her and boyfriend, they were my biggest support especially with the miscarriage. But the only conversation they’ve had is when him and I went to talk to my mom in person when I found out I was pregnant. Not sure where she stands with him idrc but I’m sure she probably hates him more since we did technically make her worst fear as a mother come true.
Im living with her now mainly cause I don’t want to be isolated again & i physically cant deal with the debilitating anxiety and guilt every day, I wanted to try to focus on healing & resting before I start classes in the fall. Boyfriend’s family situation is getting v challenging for him, hes gonna get a place regardless. I really just want a space where I’m not feeling constantly overstimulated & I miss living with him a lot honestly. We make the best team & it’s so easy with him. I catch myself getting so excited looking at furniture even from the thrift or think ab cooking meals w him or decorating. I miss him making breakfast for me before I wake up and folding laundry together and grocery shopping. He’s paying 6 months rent in advance so that I won’t have to worry about getting enough hours & can enjoy summer and actually rest. Both of us independently have a pretty thick cushion to fall back on too just in case. So finances aren’t a problem I think?
My mom isn’t too keen on the idea. I think she doesn’t want me to make the same mistakes she made, which I understand because I was also there when she was left with half of every pair of shoes she owned, I mean he took literally half of everything. Even in the case that we do break up and then I’m stuck with an apartment with my ex and have completely fucked myself over, at least I was able to make my own mistake for the first time and learn from it? Idk what to tell my mom or how the conversation should go. I don’t wanna be shunned again but then again I’ve never once been able to just do something and justify it with “it’s my life”. Idk, advice/thoughts/bullshit/opinions please please help. Have a blessed day, thank you. I appreciate your time & input more than you know, I don’t have anybody to bounce ideas around with.

Any and all perspectives help more than you know. I don’t have anybody to really talk about this with so any guidance is appreciated. It’s a lot to read, I might yap but with reason
I’m 19 years old and have just finished my spring semester of college. I went to a big college out of town, my main financial aid fucked me over so I had to switch at semester to my home state’s university. Anyway, this year was kinda tough for me lost a couple family members & my boyfriend had it rough, lost his best friend and dad within a few months of each other. Then in March, we find out I’m pregnant. I wasn’t sure what I wanted but didn’t really get to make a choice, soon after I miscarried. It was difficult so I went back to hometown & finished semester online while staying with boyfriend until I needed to move my stuff out of dorm.
My boyfriend is 19 and we’ve been together a year & a half, but known each other since middle school. We dated in 8 grade until he had to move out of state, he moved back & we started hanging out again. My circle is small & I don’t really make/have any friends but he’s my best friend. Even if we wouldn’t have chose to date after he came back to town, ik we would’ve been good friends. My family liked him or seemed to at least, especially my mom.
It’s well known in my family that my mom and I just don’t get along. She kept me quite literally locked away as the Cinderella child until I left. I could only do stuff if she wasn’t in a bad mood/something didn’t need cleaned/ a child didn’t need to be picked up/dropped off. After a while I figured out life is better if i deal w it instead of push back harder. My friends in high school never invited me ANYWHERE, I didn’t know how to use a crosswalk until I was 14 lmao I was so sheltered sorry ANYWAYS, I turned 18 and it was like I had a brand new mother until her fear of me leaving wore off.
Long story short, the summer before I left for college (last summer) my mom & I got into a fight, I didn’t have anywhere else to go so I moved in with boyfriend. My mom did the absolute most, wouldnt let me get any of my stuff or car for a few weeks (I had purchased almost EVERYTHING for myself since I was 15, including my car that she told me since I bought it as a minor I couldn’t have it under my name :/ ), almost got me fired from my job & ambulance ended up being called from how much of a tantrum she threw. It was so ridiculous that she refused to tell anybody what happened when people asked because she said it’s too embarrassing for her.
Just like that, she flipped. My boyfriend had a rough upbringing which she knows some stuff about. She took that and twisted the narrative to make him seem like some sort of charity case that took advantage of her generous & good graces. She calls him the hungry kid who hangs out w her daughter. He’s no longer allowed at her house lmao just out of spite. He never said a word to her or about her even when she had the worst to say about him, he never was disrespectful or showed up to the house either so idrk why she said that. Even when I moved out & she drained my entire savings I had worked for since I was 15, he never said anything bad about her just that i was going to be okay & he’s gonna help me figure it out.
Not only that but she shunned me for a long time, refused to talk & look at me after I moved out. My little brother was 5 and didn’t really understand & my mom didn’t bother to explain or kid proof it, just let him scream, cry, & claw at my legs whenever I’d leave the house to go home. I felt so guilty & like I had to compensate so I’d stress out & make sure to see my siblings every single day till I left for college.
If you’re still reading thank you sm.
Fast forward to today, left for college & it didn’t work out, finished semester online, and am back in my hometown. Over breaks in college I’ve stayed at my moms cause she expected me to and her & I’s relationship has gotten so much better with distance. Between her and boyfriend, they were my biggest & only support especially with the miscarriage. But the only conversation they’ve had is when him and I went to talk to my mom in person when I found out I was pregnant. Not sure where she stands with him idrc but I’m sure she probably hates him more since we did technically make her worst fear as a mother come true.
Im living with her now, mainly cause I don’t want to be isolated again & i physically cant deal with the debilitating anxiety and guilt every day, I wanted to try to focus on healing & resting before I start classes in the fall. Boyfriend’s family situation is getting v challenging for him, hes gonna get a place regardless. I really just want a space where I’m not feeling constantly overstimulated & I miss living with him a lot honestly. We make the best team & it’s so easy with him. I catch myself getting so excited looking at furniture even from the thrift or think ab cooking w him. I miss him making breakfast for me before I wake up and folding laundry together and grocery shopping. He’s paying 6 months rent in advance so that I won’t have to worry about getting enough hours & can enjoy summer and actually rest. Both of us independently have a pretty thick cushion to fall back on too just in case. So finances aren’t a problem I think?
My mom isn’t too keen on the idea. I think she doesn’t want me to make the same mistakes she made, which I understand because I was also there when she was left with half of every pair of shoes she owned, I mean he took literally half of everything. Even in the case that we do break up and then I’m stuck with an apartment with my ex and have completely fucked myself over, at least I made my first mistake & learned from it? Idk what to tell my mom or how the conversation should go. I don’t wanna be shunned again but then again I’ve never once been able to just do something and justify it with “it’s my life”. Advice/thoughts/bullshit/opinions? Have a blessed day, I appreciate your time & input more than you know.