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2024.05.17 11:56 severoon How to format a sheet for readability
Since I began contributing to this sub, I've noticed that almost all sheets, even the ones with a lot of data and complexity, aren't very readable. This is not unexpected, though … most people working with sheets are not graphic designers or user experience experts.
Though I too am neither of these things, I have worked on front ends on several projects and worked with some world-class UX folks, so I've picked up some tips along the way. I thought it would be helpful to describe my approach to formatting sheets to give an example of the kind of things that can help make data more easily readable. The idea is not that everyone should format sheets the exact way I do, but rather focus on the more general principles that don't even occur to most people.
Here's a new sheet with some fake data and minimal formatting.
Default formatting
The only formatting that's been done here is bolding the header row, applying default number format to the GPA column, and some column width tweaks. Not so great.
Before I start focusing on eye candy, the first thing I would do to a sheet like this is normalize the data itself. I would put different data in different columns. Specifically, I would split first and last names into different columns. An easy way to do this is select the column and go to Data > Split text to columns. Then, the last names need to be changed from upper case. To do this, insert a column right, then use the formula in C2: =PROPER(B2) and copy it down the column, select those properly formatted values and copy, paste special, values only over B2:B, and then delete the C column with the formulas.
The next thing is to make the column headers as terse as possible. It's preferable to use an abbreviation and move the full explanation into a note attached to that column heading. Also, I would not use initial caps on every word, it's not a title, it's just a heading. Finally, set the significant digits on numerical data. For the GPA, we're only tracking to one decimal point, so get rid of the second one.
Here's where we're at so far after fitting column widths to data:
After normalizing data
Now we can start on the eye candy.
I follow the Tufte school of table design, which means less is more.
First step is to get rid of all lines, colors, and text formatting (bold, italics, etc), and only add back formatting that actually makes the data more readable. This means turn off gridlines, no bolded headers. To make the data easier to follow, increase the font size one or two steps of the headers, and add back faint horizontal lines.
Next step is to align headers with data. Since numerical data is right-aligned, the headers for those cols should match. Also, all data on the sheet should be top-aligned except for headers, which are bottom-aligned. Also, let long headers wrap.
Give the tab a meaningful name. Keep it terse, there's no need for words like "info", "data", etc. Just say what's on that tab.
Finally, freeze header row and name columns (this makes the table easier to navigate on small screens, like mobile). Get rid of excess rows and cols. It can make sense to keep a handful of spare rows at the bottom, but once you have the basic sheet laid out there's not really a good reason to keep any excess cols to the right. When new columns are needed, you'll almost always be inserting them based on a current column's format anyway, so you won't generally want to just use a spare one off to the right. (if you didn't know, inserting a col left or right inserts it with the formatting of the col it's based on.)
Here's where we're at (I renamed the EC col and dropped its note):
Cleaner format
Now it's a good idea to go through the cols and apply explicit formatting. Set text cols to text, numbers to numbers, etc.
Add more formatting on the data. Change places to smart chips instead of just using state codes. Use people smart chips if possible as well. Change cols with limited values to dropdowns (Gender, Class). Do data validation on cols (GPA must be between 0 and 4 and Class rank must be greater than or equal to 1).
If there's a way to limit the values in extracurriculars, bring in another tab with all legal values and limit the values in that col as well. This will help normalize all of the data so that you won't see different ways of representing the same data ("Track & field", "Track and Field", etc.).
Finally, here's where we end up:
Final formatted sheet
This is a far more readable and information-rich sheet than where we started, and the data it contains is far more constrained so that any inconsistencies or irregularities will be marked with an error. This can now serve as a solid base on which to start building more advanced functionality. For instance, we could add a col at the far right and get the Google Maps URL for the home state if we wanted to by putting in I2: =H2.url. If these students had accounts in the same Google Workspace domain and they were representable using People smart chips, we may be able to extract a lot of information in the other cols that way.
Again, this isn't the end-all be-all for formatting, if you read Tufte's advice on representing richer data sets you'll find a lot more advice for formatting much more complex data and keeping it readable. But I hope this convinces some folks that even fairly simple sheets can benefit a lot by avoiding approaches that draw more attention to formatting than the data itself.
submitted by severoon to googlesheets [link] [comments]
Though I too am neither of these things, I have worked on front ends on several projects and worked with some world-class UX folks, so I've picked up some tips along the way. I thought it would be helpful to describe my approach to formatting sheets to give an example of the kind of things that can help make data more easily readable. The idea is not that everyone should format sheets the exact way I do, but rather focus on the more general principles that don't even occur to most people.
Here's a new sheet with some fake data and minimal formatting.
Default formatting
The only formatting that's been done here is bolding the header row, applying default number format to the GPA column, and some column width tweaks. Not so great.
Before I start focusing on eye candy, the first thing I would do to a sheet like this is normalize the data itself. I would put different data in different columns. Specifically, I would split first and last names into different columns. An easy way to do this is select the column and go to Data > Split text to columns. Then, the last names need to be changed from upper case. To do this, insert a column right, then use the formula in C2: =PROPER(B2) and copy it down the column, select those properly formatted values and copy, paste special, values only over B2:B, and then delete the C column with the formulas.
The next thing is to make the column headers as terse as possible. It's preferable to use an abbreviation and move the full explanation into a note attached to that column heading. Also, I would not use initial caps on every word, it's not a title, it's just a heading. Finally, set the significant digits on numerical data. For the GPA, we're only tracking to one decimal point, so get rid of the second one.
Here's where we're at so far after fitting column widths to data:
After normalizing data
Now we can start on the eye candy.
I follow the Tufte school of table design, which means less is more.
First step is to get rid of all lines, colors, and text formatting (bold, italics, etc), and only add back formatting that actually makes the data more readable. This means turn off gridlines, no bolded headers. To make the data easier to follow, increase the font size one or two steps of the headers, and add back faint horizontal lines.
Next step is to align headers with data. Since numerical data is right-aligned, the headers for those cols should match. Also, all data on the sheet should be top-aligned except for headers, which are bottom-aligned. Also, let long headers wrap.
Give the tab a meaningful name. Keep it terse, there's no need for words like "info", "data", etc. Just say what's on that tab.
Finally, freeze header row and name columns (this makes the table easier to navigate on small screens, like mobile). Get rid of excess rows and cols. It can make sense to keep a handful of spare rows at the bottom, but once you have the basic sheet laid out there's not really a good reason to keep any excess cols to the right. When new columns are needed, you'll almost always be inserting them based on a current column's format anyway, so you won't generally want to just use a spare one off to the right. (if you didn't know, inserting a col left or right inserts it with the formatting of the col it's based on.)
Here's where we're at (I renamed the EC col and dropped its note):
Cleaner format
Now it's a good idea to go through the cols and apply explicit formatting. Set text cols to text, numbers to numbers, etc.
Add more formatting on the data. Change places to smart chips instead of just using state codes. Use people smart chips if possible as well. Change cols with limited values to dropdowns (Gender, Class). Do data validation on cols (GPA must be between 0 and 4 and Class rank must be greater than or equal to 1).
If there's a way to limit the values in extracurriculars, bring in another tab with all legal values and limit the values in that col as well. This will help normalize all of the data so that you won't see different ways of representing the same data ("Track & field", "Track and Field", etc.).
Finally, here's where we end up:
Final formatted sheet
This is a far more readable and information-rich sheet than where we started, and the data it contains is far more constrained so that any inconsistencies or irregularities will be marked with an error. This can now serve as a solid base on which to start building more advanced functionality. For instance, we could add a col at the far right and get the Google Maps URL for the home state if we wanted to by putting in I2: =H2.url. If these students had accounts in the same Google Workspace domain and they were representable using People smart chips, we may be able to extract a lot of information in the other cols that way.
Again, this isn't the end-all be-all for formatting, if you read Tufte's advice on representing richer data sets you'll find a lot more advice for formatting much more complex data and keeping it readable. But I hope this convinces some folks that even fairly simple sheets can benefit a lot by avoiding approaches that draw more attention to formatting than the data itself.
2024.05.17 05:32 Designer-Professor16 I’m in a dilemma and I don’t know what to do with long-distance SB
I’ve posted a few questions about long-distance in the past few days, and they all kind of relate to my problem… this might be a bit long, so please bear with me.
I met this SB on Seeking. She reached out to me, loving my profile and pictures. After chatting for a minute, we both said we’d be interested in doing long distance and I could see her once a month or so (it’s a 4 hour flight). After txting for a while and a few FaceTime calls we agreed on dates to meet. I booked plane tickets, hotel, etc.
A side note though, I could tell that she was a bad txter right from the get-go. She would often just stop replying at night, and then say something like “sorry I crashed asleep” with a reply txt the next day after Noon her time, sometimes later. But generally, we texted every day. At the very least I’d get a “good morning :)” or just some general txt, even if we didn’t have a full convo. But the day before I was supposed to leave, I didn’t hear from her for over 24 hours and started to freak out a bit (because of all the plans I made). So I called her just to confirm I was still ok to fly out there, and thankfully she txted back an hour later saying yes please come, enthusiastically. Some work drama had caused her to not be able to reply prior.
I flew out there. In person, sparks flew. Nearly better than any of the many SB’s I’ve ever met. We did dinner, held hands, multiple rounds of sex, cuddled in bed, breakfast, she showed me some of her fav spots in town, etc. We also talked about some pretty deep things in our lives. We had a hard time parting each other the next day. In the end, we both said it best our expectations, and we’d love to see each other again. I have to admit, after that I have had a bit of a crush on her.
One thing to keep in mind is that we’re not exclusive. She has another occasional side SD, a FWB, and maybe he’s even a boyfriend (who knows, that’s just a possibility, she didn’t say she did). I also see people occasionally here as well.
So anyway, I come home. We txt back and forth, and do a few FaceTime calls. This was a few weeks ago. We both decide that YES we wanna keep this going, so we decide on the dates for the end of May (about 10 days from now). I have everything booked again, this time for two nights instead of one, at an AirBnb. She says we could make pizza together one night since it has a kitchen, and of course I said yes, that’s super romantic. She says she’s “sooo giddy!” about it all. We even start a shared Spotify playlist (again her idea), etc. It all sounds romantic, right?
Well recently the txting has gotten less and less. But when she does txt it’s generally been good. But there is definitely a MAJOR shift from when we first started chatting. When I asked about how she felt about our communication maybe 10 days ago, she did tell me straight-up the following:
“I’m happy with our level of communication:) to be upfront it may get a teeny bit less frequent just because I keep a pretty full schedule. Especially during the summer months. And I’m also not on my phone very much. Tbh most of my phone time recently has been chatting with you, and that’s not a bad thing! I love our conversations and connection. Just wanted to be transparent so you don’t think I’m ghosting or anything haha My social battery isn’t the best so if I ever do need a day or two with no contact, whether that’s because I’m busy or just recharging, I will 100% communicate that😘”
Last Friday we did a FT and then she texted me a pic of her outfit for the night out. I asked her a question… then nothing. No reply until 6pm on Mother’s Day (almost 48 hours later). She says she’s with her Mom doing fun stuff with her for the weekend. She says I’ve been on her mind a lot. She even says some funny pun about her “cheesin thinking about us making pizza together”. I felt good about the convo. She did say she was pretty busy this coming week.
Since Sunday though I’ve had no contact from her… besides one txt on Tuesday at 8am where she said, “Of course hun! I have a lot going on the next few days but I’ll see when I can carve out the time☺️” after I said “let me know the next time you can FT :)”.
I’ve txted a few times, random things I knew she’d be interested in, even things I felt like she would for SURE reply to (like a spicy txt, and a txt about her fav thing, etc). But nothing. And I haven’t sent a needy txt like “hey where are you?”. But even now, it’s been almost 72 hours since I’ve heard a word.
I’m anxiously attached usually in relationships. And so long periods of time with no contact can be difficult for me. And long distance is also new to me, so I’m just not sure on how to make this work. The worst part is that I am friends with her on other social media and I have seen her active from time to time (I don’t wanna stalk, but I have noticed). I also have a million negative thoughts… trying to find valid excuses on why she’d be too busy to send a quick txt. Or maybe she’s with someone (SD, BF) and can’t txt me? What if I don’t hear from her and I get screwed out of all this planning for this next trip (not just money, but more importantly TIME)?
As much as I am smitten over this girl, a small part of my internal voice grows louder and louder to self-sabotage and end it now before I get hurt, and get as much money back from this already-paid and planned trip as I can. But then the other side of me says “calm down dude, let it play out… it’s only 11 days from now and it could be amazing again.”
I know this is probably a ME problem, but I also can’t help but wonder if this is something that I can handle. Both long distance and lack of consistent communication. And is txting like this normal for some people? Is the “busy” excuse ever really valid? How much priority should a SD have in a busy 25-year-old’s life?
Signs are there that she likes me, and the in-person chemistry is off the charts, but is it worth it?
Maybe I’m just being insecure. Thoughts?
submitted by Designer-Professor16 to sugarlifestyleforum [link] [comments]
I met this SB on Seeking. She reached out to me, loving my profile and pictures. After chatting for a minute, we both said we’d be interested in doing long distance and I could see her once a month or so (it’s a 4 hour flight). After txting for a while and a few FaceTime calls we agreed on dates to meet. I booked plane tickets, hotel, etc.
A side note though, I could tell that she was a bad txter right from the get-go. She would often just stop replying at night, and then say something like “sorry I crashed asleep” with a reply txt the next day after Noon her time, sometimes later. But generally, we texted every day. At the very least I’d get a “good morning :)” or just some general txt, even if we didn’t have a full convo. But the day before I was supposed to leave, I didn’t hear from her for over 24 hours and started to freak out a bit (because of all the plans I made). So I called her just to confirm I was still ok to fly out there, and thankfully she txted back an hour later saying yes please come, enthusiastically. Some work drama had caused her to not be able to reply prior.
I flew out there. In person, sparks flew. Nearly better than any of the many SB’s I’ve ever met. We did dinner, held hands, multiple rounds of sex, cuddled in bed, breakfast, she showed me some of her fav spots in town, etc. We also talked about some pretty deep things in our lives. We had a hard time parting each other the next day. In the end, we both said it best our expectations, and we’d love to see each other again. I have to admit, after that I have had a bit of a crush on her.
One thing to keep in mind is that we’re not exclusive. She has another occasional side SD, a FWB, and maybe he’s even a boyfriend (who knows, that’s just a possibility, she didn’t say she did). I also see people occasionally here as well.
So anyway, I come home. We txt back and forth, and do a few FaceTime calls. This was a few weeks ago. We both decide that YES we wanna keep this going, so we decide on the dates for the end of May (about 10 days from now). I have everything booked again, this time for two nights instead of one, at an AirBnb. She says we could make pizza together one night since it has a kitchen, and of course I said yes, that’s super romantic. She says she’s “sooo giddy!” about it all. We even start a shared Spotify playlist (again her idea), etc. It all sounds romantic, right?
Well recently the txting has gotten less and less. But when she does txt it’s generally been good. But there is definitely a MAJOR shift from when we first started chatting. When I asked about how she felt about our communication maybe 10 days ago, she did tell me straight-up the following:
“I’m happy with our level of communication:) to be upfront it may get a teeny bit less frequent just because I keep a pretty full schedule. Especially during the summer months. And I’m also not on my phone very much. Tbh most of my phone time recently has been chatting with you, and that’s not a bad thing! I love our conversations and connection. Just wanted to be transparent so you don’t think I’m ghosting or anything haha My social battery isn’t the best so if I ever do need a day or two with no contact, whether that’s because I’m busy or just recharging, I will 100% communicate that😘”
Last Friday we did a FT and then she texted me a pic of her outfit for the night out. I asked her a question… then nothing. No reply until 6pm on Mother’s Day (almost 48 hours later). She says she’s with her Mom doing fun stuff with her for the weekend. She says I’ve been on her mind a lot. She even says some funny pun about her “cheesin thinking about us making pizza together”. I felt good about the convo. She did say she was pretty busy this coming week.
Since Sunday though I’ve had no contact from her… besides one txt on Tuesday at 8am where she said, “Of course hun! I have a lot going on the next few days but I’ll see when I can carve out the time☺️” after I said “let me know the next time you can FT :)”.
I’ve txted a few times, random things I knew she’d be interested in, even things I felt like she would for SURE reply to (like a spicy txt, and a txt about her fav thing, etc). But nothing. And I haven’t sent a needy txt like “hey where are you?”. But even now, it’s been almost 72 hours since I’ve heard a word.
I’m anxiously attached usually in relationships. And so long periods of time with no contact can be difficult for me. And long distance is also new to me, so I’m just not sure on how to make this work. The worst part is that I am friends with her on other social media and I have seen her active from time to time (I don’t wanna stalk, but I have noticed). I also have a million negative thoughts… trying to find valid excuses on why she’d be too busy to send a quick txt. Or maybe she’s with someone (SD, BF) and can’t txt me? What if I don’t hear from her and I get screwed out of all this planning for this next trip (not just money, but more importantly TIME)?
As much as I am smitten over this girl, a small part of my internal voice grows louder and louder to self-sabotage and end it now before I get hurt, and get as much money back from this already-paid and planned trip as I can. But then the other side of me says “calm down dude, let it play out… it’s only 11 days from now and it could be amazing again.”
I know this is probably a ME problem, but I also can’t help but wonder if this is something that I can handle. Both long distance and lack of consistent communication. And is txting like this normal for some people? Is the “busy” excuse ever really valid? How much priority should a SD have in a busy 25-year-old’s life?
Signs are there that she likes me, and the in-person chemistry is off the charts, but is it worth it?
Maybe I’m just being insecure. Thoughts?
2024.05.16 21:22 Mrpooppants69 Graduation Outfits
 | https://preview.redd.it/docs39km9u0d1.jpg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4853fcc45a595d13e575100a171e64f1806b989a submitted by Mrpooppants69 to SoftDramatics [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/k1hb8akm9u0d1.jpg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cde3112c8b67cbbccf33099abd2927215d516317 https://preview.redd.it/dc93r8km9u0d1.jpg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2a5bf5abc882f90660577df6478b1d65694b3672 https://preview.redd.it/ya1xp8km9u0d1.jpg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27e07f97199bea0aa52786382afaa8997aba06e9 So, I’m graduating next month and I’m starting to worry about what to wear. It’s tradition to wear, if not all then at least some, white. I’ve collected some photos of what the “vibes” usually are like. A lot of these outfits are frilly/flowy and summery which I love, but it just doesn’t look nice on me. I’m so lost on what to wear. I bought a dress second hand (first slide), but it’s a size too big, it does not fit the way I thought it would and the pattern is very small. I definitely still have time to figure something out, but I’m really not sure what to go for. To my understanding, SD is all about the drama, and I’m fine with looking sexy, but I also want to lean in to the summery, flowy, casual but dressy vibe. I like the white tiered skirt, but I’m unsure if it would be flattering or even dressy enough. During this period, it’s tradition to wear white to your last exam, and on the day you graduate. The "last exam" outfit tends to be less dressy, and has to be more on the modest side. While the outfit worn on the day you graduate tends to be, as I explained before, more summery and dressy. I like the way I look in a mini skirt and tights. What would you do? Any tips/ideas are greatly appreciated. |
2024.05.14 22:20 neissiebeetsie 24F SB seeking SD in Silicon Valley/Bay Area
Im a sweet Latina seeking a fun and respectful SD ideally in a nearby city but open to long distance if it works. I like nice smiles, kind people and silly clever banter. I have a ton of silly memes, love texting, kink friendly, go to the gym often and love laughing. I have long thick dark hair, piercings and tattoos. I’m 5’7 and on the curviefull side. I love thoughtfulness and my heart flutters when people give me gifts as it’s such a warm reminder that they are thinking of me. I would say my best characteristics are being fun, open minded and kind. I work with homeless children and want to go back to school for my masters in the next two years, also interested in learning how to invest.
I seek a relationship where we both respect and learn from each other. I’d like a SD that can reciprocate the consideration and thoughtfulness I carry on a daily basis. I’m open to discretion, but I am not interested in exclusivity. Older men is truthfully the only type of man I can see myself with as my experiences with older men has been warm, kind and straight forward. I’d love to travel, weekend getaways, staying in, going out to restaurants, bars, get into the art scene wherever we are, outdoor activities, trying new things!
I seek a connection with chemistry both in and outside the bedroom. I’m a lucky, sweet, drama free, adventurous and happy girl! Let me share that with you 💗
submitted by neissiebeetsie to SLFmeetups [link] [comments]
I seek a relationship where we both respect and learn from each other. I’d like a SD that can reciprocate the consideration and thoughtfulness I carry on a daily basis. I’m open to discretion, but I am not interested in exclusivity. Older men is truthfully the only type of man I can see myself with as my experiences with older men has been warm, kind and straight forward. I’d love to travel, weekend getaways, staying in, going out to restaurants, bars, get into the art scene wherever we are, outdoor activities, trying new things!
I seek a connection with chemistry both in and outside the bedroom. I’m a lucky, sweet, drama free, adventurous and happy girl! Let me share that with you 💗
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Email: [intclairvoyant@gmail.com](mailto:intclairvoyant@gmail.com) [spellsherb22@gmail.com](mailto:spellsherb22@gmail.com)
submitted by taitaigarvin to blackmagicspelling [link] [comments]
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You are not recommended to try spells to bring a lover back if you are going through the following: You know that your relationship with your ex is toxic and the best painful option to take in this is to move on. It is not a good choice to be in a relationship that is un-natural, one that is built on witchcraft. The love spark as to be their at all times.
Even the most powerful love spell may not fulfill the things that are required for a real relationship to be in place. Love should be natural and if your partner looses interest in you, its better that you let them follow the heart. If one door closes, expect another open infront of you.
Therefore witchcraft or love spells should not be the ultimate solution to mending a broken heart in a relationship, one has to make love exist naturally by doing the right things to your partner, the things that will recapture the inner feelings of love and affection as you did in the start of the relationship.
Only if and when all has been tried and failed to work that one should order for my love spells that actually work, and indeed this will be the last nail in the coffin to fix your troubled relationship permanently.
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fire blackpink bad bunny bye sister tati bruno mars bohemian rhapsody cardi b cocomelon city girls coryxkenshin ceeday cj so cool chris brown country music clout offset cardi b captain marvel craigslist chase costco capital one cnn cool math games credit karma calculator cvs comcast compression socks women cat litter collagen powder coconut oil condoms coffee grinder creatine crocs women can opener cbd oil craigslist dc chernobyl dry erase markers digital photo frame dog treats dishwasher pods dog bed dog toys diffusers for essential oils https://rwenzoripsychics.myportmoni.com/ dog harness dish soap dry shampoo david dobrik dolan twins drake shaman in uk da baby astrologer despacito dude perfect danielle cohn dantdm ddg darius garland doris day dominos dow jones dictionary detective pikachu dsw doordash dollar tree draft lottery 2024 docs delta airlines discover card login discord domino's pizza drudge report delta driving directions dropbox earbuds essential oils echo dot electric 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Email: [intclairvoyant@gmail.com](mailto:intclairvoyant@gmail.com) [spellsherb22@gmail.com](mailto:spellsherb22@gmail.com)
2024.05.13 22:33 Leon_Steel Introduction to my fictional Shared Universe the JoeVerse.
 | I want to share a overview/introduction to my fictional universe that I've been slowly building overtime. I've unfortunately fallen into eternal world building hell where I build far more than I write but at least I thoroughly enjoy it. What I mostly want from this post is to see if the wild amalgamation that is my universe is at least on a surface level "Coherent". I'll answer any questions best I can. submitted by Leon_Steel to worldbuilding [link] [comments] Disclaimer: the pictures shown in the character summaries are not mine and are shown for concept art purposes. These character summaries are taken from across the JoeVerse universe. Notes: Some information is purposely left vague due to the requirement of story details and I tried to simply the explanations. It may see very unorganized but I created a continuity timeline to help keep track of the verse. I also created detailed guides for the many Stories, Races/Species, Factions, Locations and Dear God hundreds of Character profiles. Speaking of characters, I really enjoy casual power scaling of fictional characters etc, so when scaling my own universe I exclusively reference the Vs Battle Wiki Tiering system. It is undeniably superb I recommend everyone at least check it out https://vsbattles.fandom.com/wiki/Tiering_System?so=search Here is what a somewhat completed character profile would look like. https://docs.google.com/document/d/12KilbOVt5RFYg3IckKOYiLPt_UDjrBo5/edit?usp=drivesdk&ouid=111896033102767588703&rtpof=true&sd=true Lastly, I agree the name of my verse is terrible, it is a placeholder, I will also be sharing a Fun Facts towards the bottom for shits & gigs. Introduction: Welcome to the JoeVerse(Name Pending), a long time literary project that acts as both homage to what I love as well as a deep-dive into my creative mind. The JoeVerse is a fictional "Shared Universe" where a large number of characters, locations and stories created primarily by myself and in collaboration with others take place. The JoeVerse is depicted as existing within a large "Multiverse" consisting of a number of separate & distinct universes, all of which help make up the JoeVerse Multiverse. The most crucial aspect of the JoeVerse Multiverse is that it also incorporates a large number of genres from all major science fiction and fantasy concepts, such as how aliens, gods, magic, mythology, cosmic beings, parallel universes, interstellar travel and extremely advanced human-developed technology all exist prominently throughout the Multiverse. The JoeVerse primarily was created to express my love for "Action" and the many forms it comes in. For example the many pieces of media entertainment I consumed as a child. e.g Cartoons, Comics, Anime, Books, Video Games, Martial arts, Music, Movies, etc) all strongly and directly influenced the creation of the JoeVerse. The JoeVerse's many stories primarily focus on the aspects I like about these pieces of entertainment such as Action, Characters, Power-Scaling, Continuity, Worldbuilding and Paying Homage to these oh so cherished pieces of media. )))JoeVerse Prime: At the heart of this multiverse lies the mainstream continuity, which is known canonically as "JoeVerse Prime". JoeVerse Prime is based on a fictitious take on the real-world. For example, Earth found within the JoeVerse Prime has mostly all the features of the real one: same countries, same public personalities (politicians, movie stars, etc.), same historical events (such as World War II, the Cold War), and so on; however, it also contains many other fictional elements, such as new geographical locations, political organizations and a number of new & different historical events. Corners & Sub-Corners:(Re-read if needed) The JoeVerse Prime is divided into four separate major settings of distinct & “Broad '' genres known as "Corners". The four respective Corners are Earth, Intergalactic, the Naatherlands and the Interdimensional. All Corners house minor settings of typically more “Focused” genres & stories known as "Sub-corners". The Corners and their respective Sub-corners are liable to "Crossover" and even connect with one another. Four Corners explained: )Earth: Starting with "Earth", home to an abundance of "Action & Adventure" series featuring primarily humanity through various times in history (I.e stories can take place anywhere from Ancient times all the way to the Modern era and beyond).The majority of stories told on Earth feature subjects & characters such as war, criminals, detectives, espionage, politics, assassins, soldiers, super soldiers, spies, mutants, zombies, magic, warriors, martial artists and then some. There are also Earth's five sub-corners, starting with the "Underworld", home to the stories of "Urban Fantasy" about the supernatural & often cruel world of Vampires, Gargoyles, Lycans and much more all vying for survival and power while living just under the periphery of human civilization. The Underworld explores the supernatural civilization that has co-existed alongside humanity since ancient times. Then the second Sub-corner, the "Holy War", a myriad of stories using lore based on the many “Mythologies & Folklore” of various human cultures, these stories follow the secret, ancient, bloody war of the Celestial Church. The Celestial Church is a 2000 year old clandestine organization of holy; warriors, soldiers, mages, knights, nuns, monks and more gathered from the many religions & cultures from around the globe to be the stalwart shield & sharpened blade against the supernatural, the unending swathes of powerful demons attempting to invade Earth and the unspeakable evil entities from alternate dimensions all of which has threatened humanity since it's conception. Then the "West Coast Tales", a dramatic & grounded anthology series based in and around the West Coast of America. In every story we follow new characters in vastly different situations in life as they deal with family, drama, violence, romance, finances, sickness, coming of age, natural disasters, etc. Then, the "Virtual World", a video game-like dimension that is home to various "LitRPG" focused stories. The Virtual World is directly connected to Earth via the highly popular, full-body capsule operated VRMMO known as the T.B.G system(Name pending). The Virtual world naturally houses the concept of "Gaming" thus it converts anything that enters it into data that follows its unique laws of reality and thus it has NPCs, Boss fights, Exp, Quest, Stats, H.U.Ds, Builds, Classes, etc. Finally, the "Kaijin conflict" is the "Kaiju genre" focused storyline about the international conflict between the South Korean based Iskandar Industries with a human mutant sub-species known as the Kaijin. The Kaijin have superhuman abilities and are liable to become animalistic and go on a rampage; they also have the ability to transform into giant destructive monsters known as Kaijus. )Naatherlands: The next Corner, the "Naatherlands", a large somber dimension that is home to the land of the "Supernatural & the Macabre". With it having stories of Vampires, Lycans, Gremlins, Gargoyles, Witches & Warlocks, horrific wildlife & flora and warring factions led by barbaric warlords. There is also varying levels of industrialized magic-based technology all in the backdrop of a Victorian era-esque(Gaslamp) setting. And it's singular sub-corner the "Court of Blood", a "Political" focused series that shows the inner workings of the cunning, devious and often blood thirsty motives and actions of the royal members and leading factions of the upper echelon of the Naatherlands as they go about the cruel game of politics. )Intergalactic: Third Corner, the "Intergalactic" is the setting encompassing the vast Cosmos of which Earth is a part of. The Intergalactic is home to various "Sci-fi" stories full of aliens, robots, artificial intelligence, spacecrafts, advanced and futuristic weapons & technology, interstellar bounty hunters, psychic power wielding warriors as well as galaxy spanning empires and Interstellar warfare. Its first Sub-corner, "The War of Order & Chaos" is a "Mecha" inspired set of stories about the eternal struggle across the known universe between the immensely powerful chosen warriors of Order & Chaos known as the "Exuu'd". The Exuu’d are random individuals chosen from around the cosmos, if Chaos they are made to spread destruction, misery & death, if Order they are made to spread salvation, love & positivity. For the side of Chaos an Exuu’d can be criminals, scumbags or even prolific serial killers, for Order the Exuu’ds can be lawmen, samaritans or even average civilians. Regardless of origin the Exuu'd all fight each other for the very balance of the Cosmos. They are also gifted the powerful, sentient mechanized beings known as the Exxoms(Mechas) to assist in their endeavors. Exxoms all have unique designs, personalities and weapons & abilities. Its second Sub-corner "Aon", a "Sword and Planet" inspired storyline, planet and accompanying solar system. The Aon system is locked outside of time & reality and for unknown reasons travelers from the Intergalactic, Interdimensional and even across time get pulled into the mysterious system by an unknown force. Since being secluded by conventional time both the inhabitants & technology have progressed in a way that there are varying levels of technology. There are crude medieval swords & armor as well as lasers, bolters, throwers and other advanced energy weapons. All inhabitants of Aon regardless of age and race are magically kept in their prime age & appearance. There is also a special & powerful magic known as "Laasa", that only women can harness and use. This has led to the majority of the system being ruled or fought over by factions of women led armies and warriors. )Interdimensional: Lastly, the "Interdimensional", a catch-all term referring to the nigh-infinite Dimensions that make up the JoeVerse Prime. The Interdimensional is home to many genre blending stories of action, fantasy, science fiction and adventure all in the backdrop of numerous and radically different settings. This corner is populated by a myriad of exotic and powerful races such as the Angels of Heaven, the Demons of Hell, the reality warping Mymths, the cosmic beings known as the Balancers, the biologically altered insectoid empire known as the Urrglom, the humanoid Avian warriors known as the Harrpen, the technologically advanced bloodthirsty androids the Praeoids and much more. It's first Sub-corner the "Collegium Historia", an “informational” adventure series about an interdimensional group of like minded Scholars, Zoologist, Historians, Explorers and Warriors that work towards the detailed exploration & documentation of the untold number of dimensions and the species & culture they may hold. With the group being led by the renowned, cantankerous explorer and swordsman Scuto Magnus. Then it's second Sub-corner "The Fantastical Land of ORBIS"(Name pending), a standalone "High-fantasy" world full of adventure, danger, magic and awe. With ORBIS being an immense landmass the size of Earth. ORBIS is also full of creatures & beings such as Orcs, Elves, Dwarves, Dragons and so much more. There are also a slew of fantasy iterations of medieval humans cultures e.g Daiyomondo Empire(Feudal Japan), Gyellhaer(Viking Age Scandanavia), Kingdom of Stanum(Chivalric Knight era Europe) and the Shou Chongtu Empire(Warring States period China). JoeVerse Fun Facts: Shared Universe definition: A Shared universe is a fictional universe in which multiple independently created works are set. One or more authors may contribute works to a shared universe. The works within the universe may share characters and other story elements, with or without continuity.(For more detail please check the official Shared Universe Wikipedia. (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shared_universe) The concept of the “Corners & Sub-corners" are inspired by and based on the genre, character & location organization of Marvel and DC Comics. Non-Canonically, the characters Cole Xaiver, Aiden Steel and Joseph were the first JoeVerse characters ever created in that order. With each of these characters being made to embody an aspect of the aforementioned media entertainment, Cole (Western media & concepts), Aiden (Eastern (Anime) media & concepts), Joseph(a mixture of both). The JoeVerse Multiverse is strongly inspired by and to some extent based on fictional works such as, the Marvel universe from Marvel Comics, the DC universe from DC Comics, the Image Universe from Image Comics, Star Wars from George Lucas, the Halo series from Bungie, the Dragon Age series from Bioware, the Borderlands series from Gearbox Software, the Godzilla series by Toho, the Resident Evil series by Capcom, the Gears of War series by (Cliff Bleszinski) Epic Games, the Skyrim & Fallout series by Bethesda, the Call of Duty series by Activision, the Metal Gear(Big Boss) series by Hideo Kojima, One Piece by Eiichiro Oda, the Spawn series by Seth McFarlane, Dragon Ball Z by Akira Toriyama, Overgeared by Park Saenal, Solo leveling by Chugong, Sword Art Online by Reki Kawahara, Psycho Pass by Gen Ubrobochi, the Elex series by Piranha Bytes, A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones by George R.R Martin, Starship Troopers series by Paul Verhoeven, Avatar by Nickelodeon, Samurai Jack by Genndy Tartakovsky, Ben 10 by Man of action, Bakugan by TMS, Kingdom by Yasuhisa Hara, One Punch Man by One, the Nasuverse/Type-Moon universe by Type-Moon, Ready Player One by Ernest Cline, RWBY by Rooster Teeth, the Tank girl series by Deadline, the Warhammer 40k universe by Games workshop, Street Fighter from Capcom, Mortal Kombat from Midway Games, the Transformers series by Hasbro, the Gundam series by Yoshiyuki Tomino, the Matrix by the Wachowskis, James Cameron's Avatar by James Cameron, Mad Max by George Miller, Fist of the North Star by Buronson, literally all Zombie Media in general and much much more. |
2024.05.12 12:00 AutoModerator Weekly Reminder: Rules and FAQ - May 12, 2024 (Now with updates!)
Below you will find a weekly reminder of our Rules and partial FAQ. It's definitely a long read, but it's worth your time, especially if you are new to the community, or dropping by as a result of a link you found elsewhere. We periodically revise our rules, this weekly notice will help keep you informed of any changes made.
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.
submitted by AutoModerator to stepparents [link] [comments]
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.
Community Rules
1. Kindness Matters
Advise, don't criticize.- Post with empathy, thoughtfulness, and constructive commentary rather than judgment. Don't be an asshole.
- Name-calling, slurs (including gender or race based slurs), and insults towards other community members will not be tolerated. Do not attack others for their personally held values, custody situation, marital status, physical distance from stepkids, or economic status; or on the basis of race, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, or ethnicity.
- No name-calling toward children, including the above-mentioned insults or the term "skids", or terms such as "mini-wife" or "mini-husband."
- Comments advocating spanking or any mention of wanting to harm children are not allowed.
- This is a support sub, not a judgement sub, assholes are not tolerated. Comments with terms used in other subs to pass judgement on assholes will be removed.
2. No Drama
This is a support sub.- Bickering, nitpicking, and thread derailment will not be tolerated and will be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
- Do not repeatedly badger a poster demanding answers, or refuse to acknowledge an answer that's already been given.
- Do not use sensitive issues from past posts (either from this sub or other subs) to attack another user, as we are all discussing vulnerable topics.
- Crossposting anything from /stepparents to any other subreddit might result in a ban and may result in the original thread being locked. Brigading our sub will result in an immediate ban.
3. Report, Don’t Rant
No backseat modding.- If you see someone breaking the rules, report the post or comment to the mods rather than engaging them in an argument. Failure to do so may be subject to comment removal at moderator discretion.
- No meta posts complaining about rude comments, DMs, or general sub issues.
- If you think someone is a troll or previously banned user, either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
4. No Naming & Shaming
No userpings or links.- Tagging/pinging users or other subreddits in an attempt to bully, harass, or complain will not be tolerated. Do not tag other subs, ever.
- If you want to complain about another subreddit being hostile to stepparents, do not name the subreddit. "Other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice.
5. No Platitudes
Nobody knew what they were getting into.- Comments like "You knew what you were getting into", "Love them, love their kids!", "They're a package deal!" and "You have to love them like your own!" will be removed.
- Comments suggesting that OP is not cut out for stepparenting will be removed at moderator discretion.
- Comments like "This is just a part of parenting, deal with it!" will be removed at moderator discretion.
6. No Trolling
We have zero tolerance for trolls.- This is a support sub. Our subscribers do not have the time, nor inclination, to provide support to internet trolls. Posts that are suspected to be trolling attempts will be immediately removed, and the poster banned.
- Concern trolling, devil's advocating, gish-galloping, sealioning, and general asshattery are subject to immediate removal and banning without warning or notice.
- Any attempt to circumvent the ban by creating a new username will be reported to reddit admins and possibly result in account suspension.
7. No Personally Identifiable Information
Use discretion when posting.- We highly recommend using a separate account for support subs to help prevent being doxxed. Do not post any information that may allow others to figure out your identity.
- Do not post photos of children, or any other photo that could be used to identify you or another user on the sub.
- Any image that contains a name or other identifying information should have the name or identifying information blurred out. This includes drawings, notes, and screenshots.
- Do not link to social media or any articles/blogs where you or another user on the sub is mentioned by name.
8. No More than 2 Posts per 24 hours
Use the daily threads.- We are not a huge sub, but we are no longer a small sub. If you have multiple grievances to air, use the daily discussion threads instead of multiple posts.
9. Follow Reddiquette
Remember the human.- Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.
- Read it in full here.
- Downvoting is reserved for comments that don’t contribute, and shouldn't be used to indicate disagreement.
- If you believe someone is in violation of the subreddit rules, please either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
- Suspected brigading will be reported to reddit admins.
10. No Porn, Spam, Blogs, or Research Studies/Surveys Without Mod Approval
Just don't.- This is a SFW subreddit. Posting pornography will result in immediate post removal and permanent ban.
- Advertising on the subreddit (outside of Reddit's own advertising) is not allowed.
- No personal blog posts are allowed without express moderator permission.
- No advertising without prior mod approval.
- No asking for money/posting fundraisers/etc.
- For links to parenting research studies or surveys, please message the mods for permission before posting.
11. Disputes in Modmail Only
Don't argue with the mods on the sub.- Any issues specifically related to how a mod is moderating should be addressed to the full moderating team via mod mail. This ensures that all mods are aware of any concerns and prevents disintegration of the topic thread at hand.
- This means to do not message or send chat requests to individual mods. All discussion and complaints about mod actions need to be done in mod mail ONLY. Failure to follow this rule can result in an immediate permanent ban.
- Comments in threads asking about mod decisions are subject to removal without notice.
12. Moderator Actions
We aren't kidding.- Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
- Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
- If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
- New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
- We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
- The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
- We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
- The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.
13. Ban Procedure
These actions are at moderator discretion.- Pornography will result in an automatic permanent ban.
- Extremely egregious content will result in an immediate permanent ban.
- You may receive a 7 or 30 day temporary ban for first and second rule violations, depending upon severity.
- Continued rule violations will result in a permanent ban.
- Willful attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
- We recognize the reddit site-wide rules of using alt names to get around bans and will ban those as well as report them to reddit admins.
FAQ - About the Rules
What does Kindness Matters mean?
- Shortest version? Don't be an asshole. People come here for support and advice, they do not come here to be yelled at or told they are the reason everything is going sideways. There are ways to point out that someone may want to do some reflection on their own actions and reactions without being an asshole about it.
- The purpose of this subreddit is to provide support and a sense of belonging for struggling stepparents. We aren't here to pass judgement, but rather to offer support, empathy, and constructive commentary. That does not include "hard truths" or "tough love." Stepparents get enough of that in every other subreddit, we're not passing it out here. Be respectful.
- Remember, most people aren't going to come to a sub like this when everything is going great and everyone is getting along. People are coming here when they are down, when they are feeling defeated and stretched to the limit. Kicking someone when they are down is shitty behavior and we don't tolerate it.
What about being kind to the kids?
- "Won't somebody think of the children?" Pearl clutching isn't needed here. If you read the Kindness Matters rule closely, you will see that there is a clause in there about name calling children. We don't allow it. We also don't allow people rolling in telling OP that they feel sorry for their stepkids because OP is feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.
- If anyone is advocating slapping, spanking, or any other form of violence, report the comment immediately. We do not advocate violence towards children of any sort. The mod team does not advocate any sort of physical punishment at any time.
- Venting about behaviors is not the same as insulting the kids. However, if you see a post or comment where kids are being name called or dragged to the point of no return, use the report button. We try to catch the posts and remove them before they hit the sub, but we cannot see every comment without your help. Use the report button to bring problematic comments to our attention. Don't engage in a war of words on our subreddit.
Why is this sub such an echo chamber?
- Not allowing contributors to pile on and tell OP that they are a terrible human being who should never be around children does not equate to being an echo chamber. Many contributors here will offer OP suggestions to help them work through their resentments and frustrations, and the most egregious situations are called out. We simply ask that it be called out with respect.
- If you feel that a post is simply too much for you to handle without following the rules, move on to another post.
- If you believe that a post itself is crossing the rules report it. If the mod team has approved the post, it is because the mod team believes that the OP needs help from the community or needs a moment to vent and move on from their vent. That does not give you license to pile on disrespectfully. Unless it is proven that OP is a bot, assume that OP is a human being with real thoughts and feelings and has posted from a place of vulnerability.
Why can't I tell OP that they are an asshole?
- Because this isn't a judgement sub. We aren't AITA, we don't want to be AITA.
- Comments with terms like YTA, NTA, ESH, NAH will be removed.
- Don't start your posts with INFO either. We generally recognize that as a fishing attempt for more information to pass judgement on OP, and again, we are not a judgment sub.
But OP asked if they were an asshole?!
- Their post somehow got past our automoderator. Just use the report button. We will address it with OP.
- If you've asked if you are an asshole, a-hole, a*hole, a**hole, whatever, don't be surprised if your post is removed without warning. This isn't a judgment sub. If you want judgment, you know where to go.
What is a gendered slur?
- While it seems that everyone understands what racist slurs are, people struggle understanding the concept of gendered slurs. Generally speaking, we are talking about derogatory nouns or verbs that are used to negatively describe people or situations based on gendered terms.
- We've gone back and forth on this a few times, and the truth is, we get it, it's your safe space and you want to be able to vent about BM/BD how you want to vent about them, without us telling you how to vent about them. Fair enough. Vent away. What we are going to stick to here how people are referring to other users and to stepchildren.
- Examples that are not allowed:
- "My SD is such a little bitch."
- "She dresses/acts like a slut."
- "My SS acts like a pussy."
- "My SS is such a beta male."
- "You are all fucking whores."
- "Any dude who is raising some sluts kids is a cuck!"
- "Little Lord Fauntleroy over here thinking he runs the house!"
- "You're just the bangnanny, get used to it."
- Don't call users here names, don't call stepchildren names.
- Masking the term with asterisks or other neat little tricks might get you around the bot, but if we see it, we're removing it and quite possibly giving you a time out. The intended word is still there and you deliberately tried to skate the rule.
- As there is not enough space to list every term that is offensive and does not belong, nor every situation in which term or phrase may be allowable in context, this rule is enforced based on moderator discretion.
Seriously? You are the language police now?
- We're here to talk about stepparenting. And we would like for that to happen in a respectful way. Attacking each other doesn't help. Belittling stepchildren draws in trolls who don't understand your frustration, all they see is an evil stepmonster talking shit on the internet about a poor, innocent baby. Yes, even if that "poor, innocent baby" just robbed you blind and set fire to the house on their way out the door. That's just how it goes.
- We are aware that this is a relatively new rule and a lot of older posts and comments contain a lot of problematic language, including some from mods themselves. We are growing and evolving, and rules change as the sub grows and evolves.
What does No Drama really mean?
- Pretty much what it says, do not bring drama from other subs into this sub. Do not engage in vote brigades. Do not try to incite other subscribers to riot in a different sub. Don't follow posters into this sub from other subs to continue to harass them. Do not badger someone or derail threads. Do not harass community members because you don't agree with them. There's enough drama in the daily lives of subscribers, more isn't needed.
What is thread derailment?
- When a comment chain has devolved to the point where all you are doing is arguing back and forth with someone about the same thing over and over again, you have derailed the thread. Also known as bickering. It's what children do. We assume if people are in a stepparent role they are adults. We expect you to act like it.
- If you aren't a stepparent, or in a stepparenting role, consider that perhaps this subreddit isn't for you. If you want to participate, do so with respect. Thread derailment, arguing, bickering, and nitpicking are not allowed.
But what if they didn't answer my question?
- No one has to answer your questions. This is a support sub, not an inquisition. Jumping on a bandwagon with "OP is evading the question" in a 20 comment long chain is the epitome of thread derailment. You'll find more information about trolling below and how this might be considered such.
Why am I being silenced? I'm just asking for a back and forth!
- Thread derailment, badgering, and nitpicking are considered harassment. Continued harassment of either community members or mods will get you banned.
Why can't I look at someone's post history and comment about it?
- No mod in the history of this sub has ever once said post histories are forbidden. What we do frown upon is using someone's post history to attack, belittle, or otherwise harass someone.
- Example Post: "My stepkid's mom really hates me. How can I make this better?"
- Okay: "Based on the timeline and your post history, it looks like this may have started as an affair. Unfortunately there's going to be outstanding issues for a long time due to that. Try focusing on yourself and how you can move forward without worrying about how someone else feels about you."
- Not Okay: "Holy shit! You were the OW! What the hell do you expect, homewrecker?!"
- Example Post: "I am completely overloaded and feeling very down about myself."
- Okay: "In your post history you mentioned that your spouse wasn't really helping around the house. Has that changed at all?"
- Not Okay: "LOL, you already got the answers you need in your post on relationships. You are stupid for sticking with your lazy spouse."
Why can't we crosspost stuff to other subs?
- We can't stop you from doing so. The problem isn't that something has been crossposted, it's when the community that it's been crossposted to feels the need to come over here and harass OP. When we see that happening, we lock the post and start passing out bans. If you did the crossposting, you'll be banned. If you participated in the brigading, you'll be banned.
What if it's my own post?
- Again, we can't stop you from doing so. We prefer that you don't technically crosspost, but rather just copy and paste your post. Why? Because inevitably the above will happen. Redditors from other subs will follow you back to /stepparents and start attacking users here. It just happens.
What is "brigading"?
- Reddit defines vote manipulation and brigading as follows:
- Using multiple accounts, voting services, or any other software to increase or decrease vote scores.
- Asking people to vote up or down certain posts, either on Reddit itself or through social networks, messaging, etc. for personal gain.
- Forming or joining a group that votes together, either on a specific post, a user's posts, posts from a domain, etc.
- We, along with pretty much every other subreddit that has ever had to deal with this nonsense, further define brigading as this: You saw a post on another sub that linked to our sub either via a link in a comment or a crosspost. It was basically saying something along the lines of "OMG, check out these assholes over on /stepparents! They literally hate all their stepkids!" And then you and your friends come over and start hammering on OP and telling OP how much they suck. Congrats, you have just participated in a brigade.
What is this whole Report, Don't Rant thing about?
- If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules, instead of engaging, report it. When you report it, it sends notification to the mod team. We will act on it where appropriate. Engaging with bad faith users may result in your comments being removed. If you repeatedly do so, you may end up being banned.
What if I see an obvious troll?
- Report it.
What if they are being really mean in comments?
- Report it.
What if they are harassing me in private messages?
- Step 1: Report them to admins. You can report harassment to reddit by using this link or send a DM to reddit admins. Include the link to the DM, admins can see your inbox and providing a direct link is helpful for them to weed out bad actors.
- Step 2: Block the person so they cannot directly contact you again.
- Step 3: Send us a mod mail and let the mod team know. Tell us who they are and what they said, send us a screenshot if you can - admins can see your DMs, mods can't. We'll take action where necessary by banning from the sub if they aren't already banned.
What do you mean by No Naming & Shaming?
- Just as we prefer to not be linked to or crossposted from, we do not allow linking to or calling out other subs by name. If you see something you want to share, say it's a hot post that has hit the front page and a stepparent is being absolutely flayed, just refer to it as "that hot post that hit the front page." If you want to complain about other places in general, "other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice. Absolutely under no circumstances should you link to anywhere else.
I can't link to other subs?
- Do not directly link to another sub. (e.g.: "/insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
- Do not name other subs. (e.g.: "I won't link to it directly, but insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
- Do not abbreviate other subs. (e.g.: "I know that ISNH is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
I can't ping other users?
- Do not summon another user with a username ping/tag. (e.g.: "insertusernamehere was being an asshole.")
- If you are agreeing with someone, it is okay to link to them. (e.g.: "I agree with insertusernamehere, you need to take a couple of steps back and reflect on this.")
What does No Platitudes mean?
- Sanctimonious, overused clichés that grossly oversimplify the stepparenting experience are neither wanted nor allowed here. We have all heard it a thousand times before, we don't need to hear it again. It's not nearly as insightful and wise as some would like to think.
Why don't you people understand it's a package deal?
- Any comment that suggests that OP should have known what they were getting involved with, or that they needed to understand that the kids were part of some package they needed to accept before signing up for marriage is subject to immediate removal.
- This is one of the most insensitive things you can say to a stepparent. Most stepparents were aware of the children, but they were probably not aware of all of the family dynamics.
Why can't you just love them like they are your own?
- Demanding that a stranger you do not know love children that are not biologically theirs as if they were theirs can be incredibly damaging to someone who is already in a vulnerable situation. Any comment that falls along these lines will be removed.
What do you mean by No Trolling? I was just...
- No means no. No trolling. No pretending to be a stepparent and then whipping out the Greatest Hits Bingo Card of The Worst Stepparent in the History of Stepparents. We see you. We've seen you a thousand times.
What does "concern trolling", "gish-galloping", and "sealioning" have to do with stepparenting? This isn't a debate sub, why are you using debate terms?
- That's absolutely right, this isn't a debate sub. And yet, here we are, day after day, having to defend ourselves against this sort of thing. So, enough. No more. Usage of any of these things will get you banned.
What is "Concern Trolling?"
- A concern troll is someone who disingenuously visits sites of an opposing ideology to disrupt conversation by offering unwanted advice on how to solve problems which do not really exist.
- Example Post: OP expresses concern that she will feel, and possibly act, differently towards her stepchildren after her husband decides that no, he doesn't want anymore children after all.
- Example Concern Troll pulled from actual mod mail after their comment was removed: "Possible child abuse claims need to be sorted out well before whatever empathy you believe the OP was looking for."
What is a "Devil's Advocate"?
- "I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break, too?" BM has dozens of different mom based subs alone on reddit she can complain on, this sub is for stepparents. The stepparent doesn't need to consider that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break.
"Gish-galloping?" What does that even mean?
- The Gish Gallop is the fallacious debate tactic of drowning your opponent in a flood of individually-weak arguments in order to prevent rebuttal of the whole argument collection without great effort. The Gish Gallop is a conveyor belt-fed version of the on the spot fallacy, as it's unreasonable for anyone to have a well-composed answer immediately available to every argument present in the Gallop.
And "sealioning?" What's that?
- Sealioning involves jumping into a conversation with endless polite, reasonable questions and demands for answers, usually of entry-level topics far below the actual conversation (e.g. "please prove sexism exists"). This tactic differs little from harassment; instead of discussion, the point is to derail discussion, receive criticism (for their ignorance) so as to look like a victim, or to make someone feel overwhelmed and quit talking.
Who gets to define what is considered asshattery?
- The mod team, of course! If we feel that comments are out of line, are trolling, are leading up to a fight or "just asking questions", we are going to remove them and most likely ban the offender.
FAQ - Sub Questions
Posting Guidelines for Stepparents
- Body text is required, we suggest you use line breaks between paragraphs as a wall of text is difficult to read. Posts that have only a title are likely to be removed. Instead of using names (even fictitious ones), try to use the sub acronyms. It helps our users to follow along if you use the acronyms and not names.
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Posting Guidelines for Bioparents
- Stepparents is a support community for stepparents, by stepparents. As bioparents, you may want to have more insight into how the stepparent in your life feels or thinks. You may have questions on how to ease the transition for your partner. However, please keep in mind that this community was not created for you. It was created for your partner or your ex's partner. If you are seeking support on how to deal with a stepparent, there are other subs more suited for your situation and your post is subject to removal.
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Guidelines for Stepkids
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What the heck are all these acronyms? I'm confused!
- Check out the Common Acronyms wiki page. We try to keep this updated as new terms are introduced to the sub.
Why aren't my posts or comments showing up?
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- Due to an influx of harassment from users with specific user histories, we have employed a user history ban bot as described above. If you think this has affected you and wish to appeal, please message the mods.
Why was I banned without warning?
- There are numerous reasons that the mod team might opt to move perm banning without warning. Message the moderators if you have specific questions.
2024.05.11 14:30 AutoModerator Sugar Daddy Saturday - Weekly Thread
The mod team has talked and decided (on a trial basis) to provide a once weekly thread allowing SDs to provide advice to and ask questions of our forum. Some of the comments we have received (and questions asked via modmail) have been thought provoking and we aim to ensure that all readers of this forum benefit from a different perspective.
However, this is a space for women by women. If you (SDs/men) cannot adhere to the below rules and rules of the forum, you will be treated accordingly.
The rules are as follows:
Ladies, below comment some questions you would like to ask an SD.
Fellas, below comment some questions you would like to ask the SBs of this forum.
submitted by AutoModerator to SugarBABYonlyforum [link] [comments]
However, this is a space for women by women. If you (SDs/men) cannot adhere to the below rules and rules of the forum, you will be treated accordingly.
The rules are as follows:
- Commentary can only be on this weekly thread. Any responses to other weekly threads or posts made on this forum by an SD will result in a ban.
- Johns and trolls will be banned.
- Drama mongering, incel mindsets, misogyny deleted and perpetrators will be banned.
- This is not an R4R forum, meaning no solicitation, let’s meet up, are you in my area, comments or messages.
- No drama, brigading, crossposting, and bringing issues from other forums/posts to this forum.
- All other rules of this forum apply. Read them and adhere to them.
- Karma limits will be enforced, so don’t make a throwaway. Back up what you say with a post history.
- If in doubt, message modmail, we’re always happy to answer any questions.
- We allow members to talk about what they receive in numbers, not using x,xxx language. If you don’t feel comfortable outright naming, feel free to redact but be specific with the range ie: low x,xxx, mid x,xxx or high x,xxx.
Ladies, below comment some questions you would like to ask an SD.
Fellas, below comment some questions you would like to ask the SBs of this forum.
2024.05.10 12:08 nethead12 The Governor: The Complete Collection $9.99 (match ATL)
 | Apple TV link below submitted by nethead12 to iTunesMovieDeals [link] [comments] |
2024.05.09 20:17 redditduk [MEGALIST] SG Concerts Gigs Raves - Till Vesak Day (10 - 23 May 2024)
Update 17 May: Sunday 19 May!
submitted by redditduk to singaporemusicchat [link] [comments]
10 May, Fri
- truncated, word limit
Sat, 11 May
- RADWIMPS WORLD TOUR 2024, Singapore Expo Hall 7, $168
- TesseracT (UK prog metal, djent), L5 @ GR.iD mall (selegie), $88
- Nancy Sit 薛家燕 & Friends - Mother’s Day Celebration 爱在心中母亲节演唱会, resort world sentosa, $118
- 'EK THA RAJA' BADSHAH LIVE IN SINGAPORE, Singapore Expo Hall 5, ft YUNG RAJA, $148
- Konsert Dato’ Jamal Abdillah Seniman Berjasa (G), The Star Vista Theatre (buona vista), $98
- Mediacorp GOLD 905’s Solid Gold Night, Simply Retro BaClub by Tin Box @ CHIJMES, $88
- 25 Years of Ska Love – Gerhana SKA Cinta - Timeless Rhythm (ska reggae rocksteady ska-punk), capitol theatre city hall, $68
- Indie HC: Destiny "To See Another Day" Release Show ft Doldrey, xdesterx, FUSE, Chaosphere, punk, old dm, hardcore gig, aliwal arts centre (kampong gelam, nicoll highway, $28
- Indie Rock Gig: BOY DINNER - Pines, Blindside, Bear the Remedy, Second Chance, Sound, Quitline, $20
- Indie Rock Gig: CTRL CHAOS, MONDA(E), INTERMISSION, Last Minute, Phil's Studio @ High Street Centre L3 (clarke quay/city hall), $15
- Music Matters Live Festival Schedule and the conference Creator Week
- Fountain Square Afternoon: DAY 4 - Adrian Dzvuke 🇦🇺, Dhruv Visvanath 🇮🇳, Jewel Owusu 🇦🇺 , Peej 🇵🇭, Eleanor Whisper 🇮🇩, RANGGA JONES , the center area of CQ @ clarke quay fountain square, free
- Fountain Square Night: Girls Night Out - MATILDE G, JHM (AU), JOYA (HK), Celine Wanyi (HK), Mali (IN), Nao Yoshioka (JP), Emma Dilemma (NZ), Marian Carmel
- Senor Taco Stage: DAY 3 - COUNT VERNON, Oliver Cronin 🇦🇺, Balu Brigada 🇳🇿, Teo Glacier🇳🇿 ), Señor Taco restaurant livehouse at CQ @ Clarke Quay, free
- HIPHOP RNB at IKI: Mic Check with Josh Makazo, Berywam 🇫🇷, ARlo Maverick 🇨🇦, Adrian Dzvuke 🇦🇺, Who Shot Scott 🇳🇿, club iki @ ikigai izakaya riverwalk (clarke quay), pop, R&B, afrobeats and hip-hop free
- It's a girl thing TALK: Singapore Edition - Inch Chua, Preeti Nair, Marian Carmel, Mali, JOYA, Matalie Dau et al., free with RSVP
- Singapore Chinese Orchestra: Mother‘s Day Concert 2024 母亲节音乐会 2024 - 慈母心 - Day 2 of 2 , Singapore Conference Hall @ 7 Shenton Way, $38
- Singapore Symphony Orchestra: SSO Symphony Ball 2024 - SSO Benefit, The Ritz-Carlton, Millenia Singapore, uh $10k
- Cool Cats: Jamie Aditya presents Funky Town (soul and funk) - day 3 of 3, nco club @ 32 beach rd (esplanade), $28
- Jazz Loft: JAPANESE FUSION WONDERLAND with Eric Lee and M.I.C, Blu Jaz L3 @ bali ln (bugis), $24,
- Maduro Jazz: Mellow Mixtape by Mila Vidanovic (soul jazz pop), maduro @ sofitel sentosa, $38++ drink credits
- Irish Music & Plays: Lasalle's Red Dot Green Dot 2024 - celebrating Ireland and Singapore culture, LASALLE college of the arts (rochor), $40
- Choral: Resonance of Singapore - Nonsensical Notes - Songs of Innocence by The ROS Singers, Yong Siew Toh Conservatory concert hall,, $17
Esplanade Pesta Raya Festival 11
- ES Theatre - Bawang Putih Bawang Merah by by Teater Ekamatra, Waterfront Theatre, $45 soldout
- ES Performances: Jalan Raya by Zarina Muhammad, in collaboration with local artists- Day 3 of 3, Annexe Studio, $22
- ES Music Kids: tikTOKtik – Children’s Storytelling by Kelana Purba, and folk songs, dikir barat, Indoor Concourse 230 345pm, free
- ES Music Kids: JUARA MIC JUNIOR di Pesta Raya by The Stars of JMJ, Outdoor Theater 3pm 415pme, free
- ES Dance: Mak Yong by Kumpulan Mak Yong Cahaya Matahari & PUSAKA, Waterfront Theatre Lawn 6pm, free
- ES Music: Sanggar Seni by Kelana Purba and Makyong Kedek (dikir barat), Courtyard 645pm, free
- ES Music: Nadi Singapura x Djangat - ethnic folk percussion and electronic soundscapes, Outdoor Theatre 7pm 815 930pm, free
- ES Music: Malam Balada by Zalelo & Fauzie Laily - M-pop ballads and raya hits , Indoor Concourse 730pm 830 930pm, free
Events & Parties 11
- DJ, [Intervention 5 feat. Gabber Modus Operandi 🇮🇩](Fetching Title#aokv, queer, Projector X Golden Village No Spoilers Box Office Bar @ Cineleisure Orchard L5 ,$22
- DJ, SHiOCK x Manifest - House of Mayhem with DJ IMX & Denz Devarez 🇳🇱🇿🇦 - ft Aphad & YZ, Wallich Manor Lounge @ Sofitel City Centre Hotel L6 (tg pagar), $15
- DJ 🏖, GrooveTop: Hip Hop Pool Party ft. Secret Pals, Durio & AKA Sounds, El Chido 1 Hill Street, Pullman Singapore (city hall), $25
- DJ, Flashback Saturday 90s & 2000s Hip Hop x RnB, Blu Jaz @ bali ln (bugis), $11
- Party Queer: SALUD - united by music - eurofashion, salud cocktail bar @ 19 keong saik rd (maxwell), $25
- DJ,🏖 Fuego Night: Afro Beach 5.0, Sand Bar 53 Siloso Beach Walk, $35
- DJ, Jugaad: The Revolution - Night Of Bollywood X Punjabi Bangers by Untamed, hard rock cafe cuscaden (orchard), $30
- Drag Party, [The KasiCunt Ball: Yin & Yang]((https://kasicuntball-2024.peatix.com/), MDLR club @ 62 cecil street (cbd), $58
- DJ, 10-11 May: Neil Conversion, Unleash pres. Unhinged - circuit party bar in sg, 43 Neil Road (maxwell), lgbt gay bar-club
- DJ, Zodiac Bar Night Party, gay bar at 50 prinsep st (bencoolen)
- DJ, Offtrack: Bongomann (deep house) and Sigmond Fn (aka fzpz), 34 North Canal Rd (bs hong lim park, clarke quay), music gastro bar
- DJ, Highh Club: ASSEMBLY MAYHEM @ Highh School, Highh Party @ Pan Pacific Hotel, 7 raffles blvd (esplanade, promenade), $20,
- DJ, HighHouse Fred E & XTVA (melodic techno & trance) , High House Rooftop Lounge 🗼@ 1 Raffles Place (old 1-altitude), $38
- DJ, NoSleepClub - Excessive heat ft DJs Moss and Nez Senja (rnb hiphop), No Sleep Club @ 20 Keong Saik Rd (outram/maxwell)
- DJ, Neon Pigeon - Mothers I’d Love To Feed., Neon Pigeon @ 36 Carpenter St (clarke quay)
Club Guest Performers 11
- DJ, ARK 11: AMBER NA 藍星蕾 (🇲🇾 chinese style edm) , ARK 11 Club @ Orchard Central Mall L11, IG 📸 $25
- DJ, .WAV(Y) Remixed Presents: DAVE NUNES (🇳🇱House, Afro, Baile Funk, and Amapiano) with PRAV, XG & KNRCK, Mortar & Pestle rooftop bar @ 269 South Bridge Rd, $27
- DJ, Tipsy Unicorn Lizzy Wang (🇨🇳Tech House) , tipsy unicorn beach club, $25
- DJ, ArtBeyond X CIEL: Electric Playa! Ft. Patrice Bäumel (🇩🇪 techno) & Guy Mantzur), Rumours Beach Club 🏖 @ 40 Siloso Bch Walk, Sentosa, $48
- DJ HQ: Thugshop Presents - UFO95 [LIVE, 🇧🇪 techno], headquarters techno-house club @ 66A boat quay, $36
12 May, Sun - Mother's Day
- Concert at Botanic Gardens: SSO Mother’s Day Concert 2024 by Singapore Symphony Orchestra, singapore botanic gardens, shaw foundation symphony stage, free
- Retro Rani by Mediacorp 968, orchid country club, ballroom (yishun), $89
- Indie Hiphop Rnb: PRIVATE FUNCTION 5 - Fahmy., Lucky Levi, SUBHAS, Martin Spacely, CHRISKRIS, BCKNIP, AE$OP CA$H, Phil's Studio @ High Street Centre L3 (clarke quay/city hall), $16
- Indie Screamo, HC Grind Gig: ANGUISH IS FOR LOVER - 🇲🇾: TERDERITHA , Dasawarsa, Rugh, 🇸🇬: ANJING, Mordhau, C.A.S.S (Tibetan Punk Band) , moved to rad studio 345, $20
- Crust Punk: Subconscious (🇮🇩 Batam crust) ft Istilah, Vitriol, Topsy Turvy, lithe style (house) near rochor mrt, $20
- Jazzy Ukulele Mother's Day with Daniel Purnomo & Fabian Lee, Crane OCBC at Wisma Atria Orchard, $10 to $30
- SOTA Wind Ensemble x Dunman High Symphonic Band: Where the Sky Meets the Sea, Victoria Concert Hall, $10
- Choral: Songs From Our Childhood - an educational programme by The ROS Singers, National Library Building, Level 1, Lobby, free, dont worry if registrations are full - its open
- Strings & Melodies: A Family Musical Adventure with violinist Alexander Suptel and Alexandra Novicova, At 36/38 Armenian Street, $58 for 2
- Indie Theatre - Ancient Music Songs: An Open Work Session & Dialogue with Thomas Richards, Centre 42 at 42Waterloo Street, $20
- The Projector Cineleisure Orchard: Mother's Day w The Staircase Duo (pop, rock, acoustic), Projector X Golden Village No Spoilers Box Office Bar @ Cineleisure Orchard L5
- Indie Rock Math Pop Gig: Amberhill Motion & Bloom - Album Launch ft MAXIME & ELO ELO, Esplanade Recital Studio, tix 🎟 $25
Esplanade - Pesta Raya Malay Festival Last
- ES Music: Hidup Pop Yeh Yeh! (Long Live Pop Yeh Yeh!) by Dato’ Jeffrydin, Dato’ L. Ramli, S. Mariam & Masdo 🇲🇾, Concert Hall 8pm, $40
- ES Music: Dangdut Koplo Extravaganza! by Ochi Alvira & Syahiba Saufa 🇮🇩, Annexe Studio 5pm 8pm, $40 soldout
- ES Folk Music and Kids Storytelling: tikTOKtik – Children’s Storytelling by Kelana Purba, Indoor Concourse 230 345pm, free
- ES Music Children's: JUARA MIC JUNIOR di Pesta Raya by The Stars of JMJ, Outdoor Theatre 3pm 415pm, free
- ES Dance: Mak Yong by Kumpulan Mak Yong Cahaya Matahari & PUSAKA, Waterfront Theatre Lawn 6pm, free
- ES Music: Irama Nostalgia with Angklung Empire, Indoor Concourse 630 730pm, free
- ES Music: Sanggar Seni by Kelana Purba and Makyong Kedek, Courtyard 640pm, free
- ES: The Cliffters with The Impian Batiks (60s band, malay, english songs) , Outdoor Theatre 7pm 815pm, free
- OTHERS
- Wanna Dance 2024: On Broadway - jazz, tap, ballet, contemporary, musical theatre - by Jitterbugs, Kreta Ayer People's Theatre (maxwell, chinatown), $55
- DJ Party and Market: Slow Sundays Vol. 6 - Bring Your Own Mom BYOM, DJs Bongomann, Tasha, Tyler Made, FatCatHeartAttack & the 5210 PM Crew - Loyboy, LTLX, Juhvunnn, Tanglin Gin Jungle at Dempsey Hill, 26B Dempsey Rd (napier), free/bar
- DJ, Afro-Cuban Domingos ft DJ Yuma & DJ Cam, at Ziggy Zaggy 51 Kampong Bugis (kallang riverside)
13 May, Mon
- elijah woods : ilu 24/7, 365 tour, ESPLANADE Annexe Studio, $108
- Esplanade: Ebony & Ivory with Erwin Angullia featuring Nur Umairah on vocals (80s contemporary & movies, jazz-pop) Day 1 , Indoor Concourse, free
- Sonic Explorations - a collaboration with Eunoia JC MEP and What the Forte (contemporary, classical), Eunoia Junior College (bright hill), free
14 May, Tue
- truncated, word limit
15 May, Wed
- truncated, word limit
16 May, Thu
- truncated, word limit
Other Arts Events
- Till 9 Jun Musical: Hamilton by Lin-Manuel Miranda, marina bay sands, $80
- Festival 25 Apr- 26 May: Voilah! France Singapore Festival, various
- Festival 1 - 25 May: Singapore HeritageFest 2024
- 16-26 May: Theatre: Paradise or the Impermanence of Ice Cream by Singapore Repertory Theatre aka STC (Advisory - Some Mature Content), KC Arts Centre - Home of STC, $53
- 16-25 May: Theatre - I and You by Lauren Gunderson (G), Gateway Theatre Bukit Merah, $35
- 18-26 May Kids Chinese Theatre - 《小问号和探险家》The wee Question Mark and the Adventurer, 54 Waterloo Street (bras basah), $34
- 23-25 May: Indie Theatre: William Shakespeare's Twelfth Night, The Artground at Goodman Arts Centre (mountbatten mrt), $27
- 23-26 May: Kids Ballet - Peter & Blue's Treasure Hunt 2024 Presented by Singapore Ballet (G), School of The Arts (SOTA) Studio Theatre (bencoolen, dhoby ghaut), $35
- 10 May - 22 Sep Exhibition - Olafur Eliasson: Your curious journey, Singapore Art Museum (SAM) at Tanjong Pagar Distripark, tix 🎟 from $12
- 11-18 May: Fine Art Exhibition - Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts - Our BA (Hons) Fine Art graduating cohort, The Ngee Ann Kongsi Galleries, NAFA Campus 1, free
- Ended: Comedic Theatre - God of Carnage, Drama Centre Black Box @ national library (bugis), $30
- Ended: Teochew Opera - The Pawned Wife 典妻 by Nam Hwa Opera, SCCC Auditorium @ 1 Straits Blvd (shenton way), $10
- Ended: Theatre - Backstage Betrayal, A Crack the Case Mystery (Some Mature Content), KC Arts Centre @ 20 Merbau Rd, $68
- 17 May (Fri) 1st Sex-Positive Comedy Show in Singapore, Phil's Studio @ High Street Centre L3 (clarke quay/city hall), $27
- 17 May: Dance: TARI 24: GETARAN JIWA by Atrika Dance Company, national library drama centre L5 (bugis), $32
- ==18 May (Sat): Fanny Ruwet à Singapour le 18 mai 2024, Alliance Française Singapore (newton mrt), $67==
- 18 May: Comedy - Noted With Thanks by Kuah Jenhan, wild rice @ funan (city hall), $38
- 18 May: One @ the Ballet - A Passion to Dance, Singapore Ballet at Bugis+ Mall L7, $20
- 18 May: Improv Comedy - THE SPEAKERS CORNER by RPM Studios, The Improv Company (The Den) at 62B south bridge rd (clarke quay), $22,
- 18 May: Standup Comedy - Dev Ready, The Lemon Stand Comedy Bar at Hotel Royal @ Queens (bras basah), $32
- 18 May: Objectifs Photography Opening: The Yearning for Harmony by Full-time farmer in Japan, part-time photographer, Ryhan M.Y., info
- 21 May: The Ladyboss presents- STRANGERS IN-SYNC: Night of Comedy! , Monk's Brew Club at 57 East Coast Road Singapore,
- Till 31 May DJ, ARK11 Club Complementary Entry for all Moms, @ Orchard Central Mall L11
17 May, Fri - Start of Singapore International Festival of Arts (SIFA 2024)
- Arch Enemy (melodic death metal, melodeath) - Deceivers Asia Tour 2024 in Singapore, Scape Orchard, The Ground Theatre (somerset mrt), $118
- SCO: Young Children's Concert 2024 儿童音乐会 2024 - Karung Guni Boy by Singapore Chinese Orchestra - Day 1 of 2 , Singapore Conference Hall @ 7 Shenton Way, $20
- SSO: Chamber: Smetana and Dvořák by Singapore Symphony Orchestra, Victoria Concert Hall, $20
- Reggae Remedy : WITH SURPRISE GUEST (Ska, Rocksteady, Dancehall & Reggae), el pico at 6 Hongkong St (clarke quay), free
- Crust Punk Show: bastarddestroyer (ID), deviare, afterdeath, cass, topsy turvy, rad stuido 345, $10
- NLB: Diabetic Duo (Amanda Ong & Sope) - Open Stage Originals - singer-songwriter duo, folk soul, alt-pop, National Library Building, Level 1 Lobby, free, dont worry about registration its open
- Tribute: Some Might Say Oasis, molly malone's irish pub @ 56 circular rd (raffles place, boat quay)
- Cool Cats: Rai Maia presents Soul Sessions (neo-soul hiphop) - day 2 of 3, nco club @ 32 beach rd (esplanade), $28
- Maduro Jazz: A Classical Aftertaste with The David Loke Trio ft Charmaine Teo & Hang Oh, maduro @ sofitel sentosa, $38++ drink credits
- Candlelight: Film Scores at RWS S.E.A. Aquarium w Vocalise String Quartet, S.E.A. Aquarium Sentosa, $73
Esplanade
- ES Music: Danny Koh (50s to 70s pop, jazz pop), Indoor Concourse, 645 745pm, free
- ES Music: Rock Weekender Bender: Pennylane (80s, rearranged tunes), Outdoor Theatre, 715pm 845pm free
- ES Theatre: Moby Dick by Plexus Polaire - mutimedia theatre, puppets & live music - Day 1 of 2, SIFA 2024, Waterfront Theatre, $38
SIFA 2024
- Theatre/Multimedia AI: Una Isla by Agrupación Señor Serrano (ES) - 1 of 2, SOTA Drama Theatre (bencoolen, dhoby), $38
- Theatre: DIDO AND AENEAS - a riotous reimagination of Henry Purcell's timeless opera by T:>Works (SG) - 1 of 2 , stamford arts centre at 155 waterloo st (bugis), free but $20 refundable deposit
- Theatre & Puppetry: Remember My Party by The Finger Players - 1 of 2, stamford arts centre at 155 waterloo st (bugis), free but $20 refundable deposit
- Theatre: Waiting For Audience《等待观众》by Nine Years Theatre (SG) - 1 of 2, stamford arts centre at 155 waterloo st (bugis), free but $20 refundable deposit
- School Events
- Temasek Poly Theatre:Teatrofest 2024: The Good Person Of Szechwan - 1 of 2, Temasek Polytechnic (tampines west), $6
- ==ACSI Symphonic Band & Wind Ensemble Around the World, ACS(I) Centre for Performing ARts 2, $12==
- ITE College Central Theatre: ITE Theatrical Ensemble presents : Normal #11 , 2 Ang Mo Kio Dr, $10
- Eunoia JC Rock: EPHEMERAL, At Eunoia Junior College 2 Sin Ming Place (bright hill), free
Event Theme Nights
- DJ, Offtrack: Ramesh - global grooves, 34 North Canal Rd (bs hong lim park, clarke quay), music gastro bar
- DJ Club Hell: Exhibitionist in Hell, gay lgbt club @ 113 telok ayer st
- DRAG, Tuckshop: NYMPHIA WIND meet n greet, 51 Neil Road, $68 doors only
- Main Party: Nymphia Wind - House of Wind x Tuckstop, Projector X Golden Village No Spoilers Box Office Bar @ Cineleisure Orchard L5
- DJ, W Sentosa Cove: DJ Matty
- DJ, High House: HIGH FIDELITY Session #1 ft. AOSWith Andrew T & Julian Quintero, High House Rooftop Lounge 🗼@ 1 Raffles Place (old 1-altitude), $38
- DJ, Blu Jaz: Back To The 2000s (Hip Hop x RnB x Pop) , Blu Jaz @ bali ln (bugis), $10
- ==DJ, Potato Head: James Selva. 36 Keong Saik Rd, bistro bar==
- DJ, MUGIC with Black Pomade (🇵🇹🇮🇹 PT-IT) ft Halal Sol, Projector X Golden Village Ruby Lounge @ Cineleisure Orchard L6, $37
Club Guest Performers
- DJ, HOSPITALITY 2024 feat. P MONEY x WHINEY & ANAЇS (UK 🇬🇧) - Kings of Bass with Hospital Records (the UK DNB label), MDLR club @ 62 cecil street (cbd, tpi building), IG 📸) $37
- DJ, Celestial Seasonings: 1st Anniversary with Aldonna (AU 🇦🇺) ft Miss Lil, JAS, and 3MZY., tuff club @ 138 robinson rd cbd, $37
- DJ, Drip: Posh Singapore edm techno pop with DJs tajima, ling, belle, drip club @ 100 Orchard Rd Concorde Hotel, tix 🎟, $30
- DJ, XclusiV Club Xtra Special Event - DJ NADD & DJ KIDD & SAN, Xclusiv (XV) asian Restaurant Club (fmr. Prism) @ marina square, S039594, $30
- DJ, Marquee: Marquee Utopia - trance & future rave night, marquee nightclub @ marina bay sands shoppes, $20
- DJ, Zouk Phuture: EATS EVERYTHING (UK 🇬🇧 deep tech house), zouk phuture club @ clarke quay, IG 📸 $48
- DJ, Zouk: Mambo Jambo (70s 80s disco boogie night), $35
18 May, Sat
- Power Station 动力火车 - 「都是因为爱」世界巡回演唱会, indoor stadium, from $138
- Jazz It Up! A Jazzy Celebration of Chinese Songs 2024 爵士也华彩 2024 - Day 1 of 2 - ft Teresa Carpio (杜丽莎), Wysom Wong (黃偉深), Serene Koong (龚芝怡), Jazz Association Singapore, SCCC Auditorium @ 1 Straits Blvd (shenton way), IG 📸 $48
- CAPITAL 958 唱FUN天 (G) - Day 1 of 2, the theatre @ mediacorp (one-north), $38
- SCO: Young Children's Concert 2024 儿童音乐会 2024 - Karung Guni Boy by Singapore Chinese Orchestra - Day 2 of 2 , Singapore Conference Hall @ 7 Shenton Way, $20
- SG Music: TRIFECTA Backyard sessions - Charlie Lim, Shye, Tengy, Regina Song (pop, rock, rnb) and DJ set by Culture, IG Set Times📸, TRIFECTA - Surf, Snow, Skate Park (at Somerset MRT skate park), free
- Indie Hiphop & Rock & DJs: G-Town Presents: That's What I Call Open House - Live Hip Hop collectives Leftmind, Sappy Chill x Reptile Skin Business Club, Grungy Alt Rock with Bellied Star, DJS HZQ, El Professionel, Sadat, Nez Senja, Intermission Bar @ the projector golden mile tower (indie cinema, nicoll hwy mrt), feat. Mediocre Haircut Crew, Mars B, Fariz Jabba, Abangsapau, Sharbil, Boonbakes, Infra.24, Fauxe, Naztykeys, Fandy Razak, Big Mat, Tengy & Leftmind's Shane 2 Sweet , Kzy , Acapslim , Opus Renegade and Zimmy E., IG 📸 $20
- Indie Emo Pop Punk Gig: Sad Boy Hours Emo Night - Pillow Head, Circle Line Kid x Last Minute, A Letter You'll Never Read, DJ TheSoundofAlvin, Tonehouse Studio at Parklane Shopping Mall (bencoolen) L3 , IG 📸 $15
- Indie Synth Electronic - Hyper Highways by Synth Commune insp. by Nam June Paik - PolyBlank, Bokeh Fields, Falling Islands, Microchip Terror, Darts Legend @ One North, 20 Ayer Rajah Crescent, IG 📸 $7
- Indie Open Mic: INDIGO SCALES Open Mic Night - Melodies under the Stars, little island brewing co @ south beach (esplanade mrt, opp suntec convention)
- Wisma Geylang Serai Senandung Rock Jiwa Retak - thje competition, Wisma Geylang Serai (the Geylang Serai CC at Paya Lebar MRT) L1, free
- Cool Cats: Rai Maia presents Soul Sessions (neo-soul hiphop) - day 3 of 3, nco club @ 32 beach rd (esplanade), $28
- NLB Talk: Music Talk: The Play-by-Ear & Sight-Reading Divide in music learning and making., National Library (bugis) Lobby, Level 1, *free, its the public area *
- NTU A Cappella: NTU Harmonix's Story of My Life, Ngee Ann Polytechnic Music Box 535 clementi rd (king albert pk), $22
- NTU Jam Bands - Rocking In The North '24: Dream On - bands of North Hill Halls, Phil's Studio @ High Street Centre L3 (clarke quay/city hall), IG 📸 $7
- NUS Rock Bands: Amplitube by NUS Amplified, ESPLANADE Annexe Studio, IG 📸 $15
Esplanade
- ES: songs on my floppy disk by Krysta Joy (singer songwriter), Indoor Concourse 545 645 745pm, free
- ES Music: Across the Golden Era - A Tribute to Hong Kong Movies & TV Series by The Mashed Ups, Outdoor Theatre 630 8pm 930pm, free
- ES Theatre: Moby Dick by Plexus Polaire - mutimedia theatre, puppets & live music - Day 2 of 2, SIFA 2024, Waterfront Theatre, $38
SIFA 2024
- Theatre/Multimedia AI: Una Isla by Agrupación Señor Serrano (ES) - 1 of 2, SOTA Drama Theatre (bencoolen, dhoby), $38
- Music Performances at Stamford Arts Center @ 155 Waterloo St (bugis):
- 1 - 145 pm: Suhaili
- 3 -4 pm, 5-6pm: Sonic Escapade with Micheal Spicer, Deborah Tan, Lydia Ang & Zheng Jie (improv avant garde eastern & western, from new age folk to industrial post-rock)
- 7-730pm: Tetradics with Ridwan Ramli, Khairil Shazwan, Khoiriyyatun Sabila & Hanisah Tan (malay trad drums)
- 8-830, 930-10pm: NUS Fingerstyle Guitar Ensemble
- 8-830, 930-10pm: The Harp Quarterly with Karen Tay & Nigel Foo
- THEATRE AT STAMFORD ARTS CENTRE @ 155 waterloo st (bugis), ALL FREE but $20 refundable deposit
- Theatre: Work In Progress by Dramabox (SG) - 1 of 2
- Theatre: ANAK by The Necessary Stage (SG) - 1 of 2
- Theatre: The Radicalisation of Mrs Mary Lim-Rodrigues by Michelle Tan, Centre 42 (SG) - 1 of 2
- Theatre: DIDO AND AENEAS - a riotous reimagination of Henry Purcell's timeless opera by T:>Works (SG) - 2 of 2
- Theatre & Puppetry: Remember My Party by The Finger Players - 2 of 2
- Theatre: Waiting For Audience《等待观众》by Nine Years Theatre (SG) - 2 of 2
- Dance: The Romeo by Trajal Harrell (US/CH) - 1 of 2 w special post show talk, Victoria Concert Hall, $38
- Others
- Chinese Drama Performance by Hua Yi Secondary at Jurong West Public Library, Storytelling corner (children's section), free
- Methodist Girls' School Festival of Arts – Kizuna (Drama, International and Indian Dance), NUS University Cultural Centre Theatre, $30
- Blackbird: Flash Mobsta, Rock Rosettes, DJ Maverick, Blackbird Music Bar @ Gillman Barracks (labrador park),
Event Theme Nights
- Wellness and DJ Party Immersion by Wild Pearl - BIG SPLASH with Yoga Movement & Rumours Beach, Rumours Beach Club 🏖 @ 40 Siloso Bch Walk, Sentosa, IG 📸 $37
- DJ, Wallich: The Adults Are Dancing ft DJs Lincey & Fantastic Dinosaur, Wallich Manor Lounge @ Sofitel City Centre Hotel L6 (tg pagar), IG 📸 $22
- DJ Moonstone: WILD FYAH - An Afrobeats Reggae Party with DJ Rumshot & Cynan, Moonstone BAR @ 103 Amoy St
- DJ, One Crew Dj pres. The Calm Before The Storm (Indian event) , Drinq Bar @ Grantral Mall (tai seng), $35
- DJ, Offtrack: Daryl Knows & Kevin Sy (disco house baeleric), 34 North Canal Rd (bs hong lim park, clarke quay), music gastro bar
- DJ, iki: Latino Anthem (Reggaeton x Latin Pop), club iki @ ikigai izakaya riverwalk (clarke quay), doors
- Drag Cabaret DJ, QABARET Bareback to the 80s!, 🏳️🌈 Projector X Golden Village No Spoilers Box Office Bar @ Cineleisure Orchard L5, IG 📸 $40
- DJ, Club Hell: Divas in Hell, 🏳️🌈 gay lgbt club @ 113 telok ayer st, $30
- DJ & Live, LE Party @ SG (LGBT Gathering) - DJ Vanvanz & Inhouse Live Band , 🏳️🌈 CT Hub @ Kallang, $43
- DJ, W Hotel Sentosa Cove Leland
- DJ, Disco Night with DJ Titus, TA Community - the singapore Swedish Cafe at 594 Serangoon Rd, free
- DJ, HighHouse: Melodic Techno & Trance - DJs Fred E & Vanan M, High House Rooftop Lounge 🗼@ 1 Raffles Place (old 1-altitude), $38
- DJ, 🏖 Sand Bar: Sunset Saturday, Sand Bar 🏖 @ 53 Siloso Beach Walk, Sentosa
- DJ, 🏖 Manifest Pool Party - Dr Whyte + Himmat + Gifted Fire (LIVE SET) + James S + Mikki S (house n techno), 1-Altitude Coast 🗼@ The Outpost Hotel Sentosa, IG 📸 $43
Club Guest Performer
- DJ, Behind the Green Door: Anthony Middleton (🇬🇧 house, Audiofly), Behind the Green Door @ 97 Duxton Road (maxwell), tix 🎟, $35
- DJ, Marquee: Marquee Rising ft DJ Kiara 🇸🇬, marquee nightclub @ marina bay sands shoppes, $20
- DJ, Drip, Dreamfellas Presents: CLOUT, drip club @ 100 Orchard Rd Concorde Hotel, $27
- DJ, Bollywood Club X pres. KALA CHASHMA, hard rock cafe cuscaden (orchard), $29
- DJ, Zouk: One Dance, Total Recall, Slime Hiphop, zouk clarke quay
- DJ, Ce La Vi: BIG NITE OUT! feat. NAKADIA 🇹🇭 & OSCAR L 🇪🇸 (techno & house), marina bay sands hotel rooftop bar-club 🗼, $38
- DJ, MODAL presents MODE09 feat. Tommy Four Seven (🇬🇧 techno), MDLR club @ 62 cecil street (cbd) L2, $37
19 May, Sun
- VCHpresents Chamber: The Pavel Haas Quartet 🇨🇿, Victoria Concert Hall, $20
- Jazz It Up! A Jazzy Celebration of Chinese Songs 2024 爵士也华彩 2024 - Day 2 of 2 - ft Teresa Carpio (杜丽莎), Wysom Wong (黃偉深), Serene Koong (龚芝怡), Jazz Association Singapore, SCCC Auditorium @ 1 Straits Blvd (shenton way), $48
- Vocabella Ladies Choir: Lux et Amor - featuring Dan Forrest's Lux: The Dawn From on High and local compositions., School of the Arts (bencoolen/dhoby), $32
- Mus'Art Youth Wind Orchestra: Extravadanza - Music of Dance - band classics such as El Camino Real to pop favourites like Michael Jackson, NUS Yong Siew Toh Conservatory main concert hall L1, $15
- Victoria School Chinese Orchestra : A MUSICAL JOURNEY IV (G), Singapore Conference Hall @ 7 Shenton Way, $15
- Jazz Loft: Sunday Jam Session , The Jazz Loft @ Blu Jaz Cafe L3, free
- Blackbird: New Stream Brass Band, Blackbird Music Bar @ Gillman Barracks (labrador park)
Esplanade:
- ES: Theophilus Tan - Spring: Your Curated Experience by Musicians’s Initiative (plays Tchaikovsky, Schumann) , ESPLANADE Recital Studio, $32
- ES: Rock Weekender Bender: Heritage - songs by Allman Brothers, The Who, Pink Floyd, Eric Clapton, and many more!, outdoor theatre 715 845pm, free
- ES: Sweet Sunday Sounds (60s – ‘80s) with Izzathy & Shukor, Indoor Concourse, 545 645 745pm, free
SIFA 2024
- ESPLANADE Workshop: The Double Presence of Performer and Puppet: Workshop with Plexus Polaire, , Esplanade Rehearsal Studio, $38
- Workshop: The choreographic world of Trajal Harrell: Workshop with Ondrej Vidlar, NAFA Campus 1 (bencoolen), $28
- THEATRE AT STAMFORD ARTS CENTRE @ 155 waterloo st (bugis), ALL FREE but $20 refundable deposit
- DJ, Drip Pool Party V16 - Hip Hop R&B Latin Hits, Afrobeats - DJ Ange, Shai, K Faith, voco Orchard Hotel 581 Orchard Road, $26
Monday Soon....
I am on telegram: search sg music chat or visit t.me/sgmusicchat2024.05.09 11:57 nethead12 A Place to Call Home - The Complete Collection $29.99 (match ATL)
 | Apple TV link below submitted by nethead12 to iTunesMovieDeals [link] [comments] |
2024.05.09 04:00 nethead12 Into the Badlands - Complete Series (ATL)
 | Apple TV link below submitted by nethead12 to iTunesMovieDeals [link] [comments] |
2024.05.08 20:29 ForzaInter_1908 [Mari] Piero Ausilio: “Rafael Leao was close to Inter. Very, very close. We had an agreement with Lille, an agreement found rather quickly in a meeting in London. Then we didn't carry forward the agreement, with the boy we didn’t even get to talking to him too deeply.”
“Gudmundsson? The only thing I can confirm is that Inter likes him and he is a quality player. Genoa likes him, probably other teams too. Today we are fine in that department. Arnautovic is under contract, we have to evaluate Sanchez's future because it doesn't mean we can't still talk to him, Satriano is doing very well, there are important teams looking at this boy. There's Oristanio, Pio Esposito, Sebastiano Esposito is doing very well at Sampdoria. Let's evaluate calmly and peaceful.”https://x.com/marifcintestatus/1788193118879195407?s=46&t=HVZJzoyLgN2cnje_SdLm6w
“In the morning I open the newspaper and I get angry. No, now I smile but before I used to get angry. All the names mentioned in the newspapers are not a serious thing. Now I open the newspapers and I already know that there will be something, sometimes there are even even ideas but most of the time they are just things that waste time.”
“If the season started in a week, Inter would already have an absolutely competitive and strong squad with what we have already done. Large squad? The squad must be right, not a little or a lot. The players must be involved. The coach must be able to work peacefully. Now we only think about Sunday but during the week the coaches work with 10 plus 10 plus the goalkeepers. Having 4-5 who only have to do individual technique is not nice.”
“Five strikers or four? I don't know, we'll talk about it with the coach at the end of the season. This year we worked with 4 very well, I don't see why we need to change. Then we'll see if we can evaluate someone with our young players. Then there are midfielders who can play as attackers, like Mkhitaryan..”
“Carboni? We have to evaluate whether it is better to bring him here or continue to develop him outside. He is considered by the Argentine national team, he is highly valued on the transfer market. He has a long contract with Inter, we are happy to have him like the other guys.”
“It's very difficult to sell well. Today a lot of money is spent on young talents and top players. It's much more difficult to sell middle-class players.”
“Zero-cost market? I confirm that it will be a market like that of recent years. We are used to it by now, we are not particularly scared. It will be a different market compared to last year, you just have to adjust it. Saying that the Inter market is already closed is a provocation but it is also a truth, the Inter squad would already be ready for the championship. Then you live for opportunities.”
“The phone call with Lukaku? I wouldn't want to go back to it. The boy had given different signals, then when I understood what was happening I preferred to end it there. But in a much more civil way than how it was said. And we're happy that it went like this The only repercussion of Romelu's choice was Dzeko's situation. We didn't want them to take away space and therefore we let Dzeko go would have arrived anyway.”
“Long scouting work was done on Thuram. We had already decided that he would be a striker and not a winger. We had decided to develop him in this role with Inzaghi and his staff. Thuram came to be the starter but we thought he needed time to prove. In light of Thuram's rapid insertion, we decided to complete the department with ready and experienced Serie A players. So Arnautovic and Sanchez, also to prevent a possible not so rapid insertion of Thuram instead Thuram inserted himself immediately. He was affected by his physical problems, especially because of his physique. We are happy with Arnautovic, he did what he had to do. more continuity but we are extremely satisfied with his work, even inside the locker room.”
“Lautaro renewal? Absolutely normal situation for such important renewals. On an economic level it moves, it is not the renewal of a Primavera. It takes time, as is normal in all clubs. We absolutely want it to be extended and Lautaro's will is the She said it in every way. It's normal that we need to find an economic balance. Today we are still looking for it, the contract expires in 2026 and there is no rush if he signs in a month, two or three. The amount of wages at the end of the transfer window will be more or less the same as now. I've known his agent for 30 years, Barella's thing has already started. Maybe it can arrive even sooner than Lautaro's outcome of both situations.”
“The renewal of Simone Inzaghi is just a formality.”
“Zielinski and Taremi? We took advantage of these opportunities, in the Champions League final we had 7 players taken for nothing. The commissions? They are there even if you pay the fee, in fact for big transfers they are even higher. I can't find anything interesting in them scandalous if you pay zero for the price.”
“Calhanoglu? We lived through Eriksen's drama. In a bad situation, full of anguish and great concern. But then the sporting director must realize that we would have lost the player. We were good at immediately understanding what the best opportunity was Calhanoglu had not renewed with Milan, he had opportunities in Spain. We convinced him with just one phone call, it didn't take us long to convince him with just one phone call.”
“Dimarco? Someone said he wasn't Inter quality. In fact there are 2 Inter starters for whom some coach told us that they weren't from Inter, not even to let them into the locker room. I will never mention their names even under torture.”
“A central defender? Not for now. There are no plans to leave in defence. As far as we're concerned, the defense is fine as it is. I hear people say this guy is old, this guy is old, he's going to be a starter in the European Championship. If they're old, they're old. Darmian and Acerbi, I say they are absolutely intact and still have a lot to give. I can't say I don't like them. Why don't you ever play? we wanted to bring him in June, we never thought of taking him in January but still giving him to Lille or some Italian team. He felt ready for a more ambitious club, like Inter and Juve Like this.”
“Arnautovic and Sanchez found two formidable players in front of them. But Marko himself admitted it. I spoke to Arnautovic and he said 'what can I say?' You took two champions who had an extraordinary season. I make myself available and try to do my best.’”
https://x.com/marifcintestatus/1788192656306139604?s=46&t=HVZJzoyLgN2cnje_SdLm6w
https://x.com/marifcintestatus/1788192384494309441?s=46&t=HVZJzoyLgN2cnje_SdLm6w
https://x.com/marifcintestatus/1788191814878446069?s=46&t=HVZJzoyLgN2cnje_SdLm6w
https://x.com/marifcintestatus/1788191177948209297?s=46&t=HVZJzoyLgN2cnje_SdLm6w
https://x.com/marifcintestatus/1788190514405077342?s=46&t=HVZJzoyLgN2cnje_SdLm6w
https://x.com/marifcintestatus/1788189615997743279?s=46&t=HVZJzoyLgN2cnje_SdLm6w
https://x.com/marifcintestatus/1788188545783325139?s=46&t=HVZJzoyLgN2cnje_SdLm6w
https://x.com/marifcintestatus/1788188257227866425?s=46&t=HVZJzoyLgN2cnje_SdLm6w
https://x.com/marifcintestatus/1788186687761207686?s=46&t=HVZJzoyLgN2cnje_SdLm6w
https://x.com/marifcintestatus/1788187724916076763?s=46&t=HVZJzoyLgN2cnje_SdLm6w
https://x.com/marifcintestatus/1788243941600506366?s=46&t=HVZJzoyLgN2cnje_SdLm6w
2024.05.08 18:16 UnusualChemical1512 Vent
DH and I welcomed our baby a little over a year ago into our lives. Shortly after that, drama ensued with HCBM and I blocked her on almost everything and limited contact almost completely. SD8 and I have a great relationship so she will FaceTime me sometimes from her mom’s phone and I’ll answer just for that. Sometimes HCBM will try to talk to me as well, but I gray-rock as much as I can when she does. We used to be way more friendly, but now we do not talk whatsoever.
Now that it’s been a year since our baby has been born, I decided to return to work to get out of the house. It wasn’t so much for financial reasons, but more for I just want some money of my own and to get out! I couldn’t find really any job at first but I found one that’s not really what I wanted to do, but it paid well and can offer the hours that work best for childcare for our baby. It’s in a very public place though, in retail.
I really did NOT want HCBM to know where I work. Because she would come in to see me just to be weird like that, even though we are clearly no longer friends and I believe I’ve made it clear I want little to do with her as possible, but we keep things civil for SD. I know she doesn’t usually come to the place where I work, as SD always says they’re always in another town doing their shopping. I have not told SD where I work and DH also doesn’t want her coming in to bother me, so he also hasn’t told her. MIL knows and two of my sister-in-laws know, but DH explicitly told them to not say anything in front of SD because she would tell her mom and her mom would come in to see me, for whatever reason. I don’t know what to call it other than being snarky, or to make me uncomfortable. I don’t know if someone did tell her or what, but a few days ago, HCBM came into my work. (Again it is a public place so it could just be coincidence, but I really do think one of my in-laws told her.) I went to the back and waited until she had left because it caught me off guard. But she continued to pass my section two more times, seemingly looking for me. And yesterday, I think her friend came in looking for me as well.
I know I should woman up and if she comes in again to just gray-rock and face her like it’s nothing. But I just want peace in my life and she just seems to live off drama and gossip. I’ll admit, she is pretty superficial and my job isn’t glamorous whatsoever, so I think it’s just giving her something else to talk about. Which, I don’t really care for her opinion, but I just want peace in my life without having to see or hear from her, just letting my DH have that burden.
I suppose it’s my fault for working in a public place, I just have anxiety about going in now because I don’t want to see her. She’s caused a lot of drama in our family and I’m tired of it and tired of her bs.
submitted by UnusualChemical1512 to Stepmom [link] [comments]
Now that it’s been a year since our baby has been born, I decided to return to work to get out of the house. It wasn’t so much for financial reasons, but more for I just want some money of my own and to get out! I couldn’t find really any job at first but I found one that’s not really what I wanted to do, but it paid well and can offer the hours that work best for childcare for our baby. It’s in a very public place though, in retail.
I really did NOT want HCBM to know where I work. Because she would come in to see me just to be weird like that, even though we are clearly no longer friends and I believe I’ve made it clear I want little to do with her as possible, but we keep things civil for SD. I know she doesn’t usually come to the place where I work, as SD always says they’re always in another town doing their shopping. I have not told SD where I work and DH also doesn’t want her coming in to bother me, so he also hasn’t told her. MIL knows and two of my sister-in-laws know, but DH explicitly told them to not say anything in front of SD because she would tell her mom and her mom would come in to see me, for whatever reason. I don’t know what to call it other than being snarky, or to make me uncomfortable. I don’t know if someone did tell her or what, but a few days ago, HCBM came into my work. (Again it is a public place so it could just be coincidence, but I really do think one of my in-laws told her.) I went to the back and waited until she had left because it caught me off guard. But she continued to pass my section two more times, seemingly looking for me. And yesterday, I think her friend came in looking for me as well.
I know I should woman up and if she comes in again to just gray-rock and face her like it’s nothing. But I just want peace in my life and she just seems to live off drama and gossip. I’ll admit, she is pretty superficial and my job isn’t glamorous whatsoever, so I think it’s just giving her something else to talk about. Which, I don’t really care for her opinion, but I just want peace in my life without having to see or hear from her, just letting my DH have that burden.
I suppose it’s my fault for working in a public place, I just have anxiety about going in now because I don’t want to see her. She’s caused a lot of drama in our family and I’m tired of it and tired of her bs.
2024.05.08 05:42 Delicious-Pool8599 I wanna talk about the Digital Circus drama
Hello, my name is Cheetodust aka "Delicious Pool". My pool ain't delicious tho 💀. I wanna talk about tadc. You would be surprised since I'm an editor, animation, artist and a YouTuber for Murder Drones. Although I wanna discuss something about Digital Circus.
I don't really have anything to do with Digital Circus or Glitch. I'm still a teen but this is my opinion.
The drama is about Jax. In episode 1, we see him very mean and ppl thought that he was a hero and he is doing it for the others. Also during the trailer, one scene, Jax was playing with a liquid like he was sad. Many YouTube thought he was sad or depressed, but in episode 2, he was actually mad bc the adventure wasn't so fun or anything. And that's the same thing I was reacting bc this episode looks epic at first but it turned so boring, I freaking slept the whole fudge thing that I have to watch it again. Jax is so evil and cruel. He is a jerk and that's the reason I like him. But like 70% of the goddam, ungrateful, ass fandom, mostly Twitter was so upset. Hey reddit, you're not that bad :). This thing got Michael Kovach (Jax's va) included. Bro's just a dude who voice acts and did amazing jobs in his work. Leave him alone! These ppl do not understand what. Accept ppl on who they are. Gooseworx already warned everyone that Jax will get worse and worse every episode. And yet ppl still complain.
So here's what I think why ppl asked Goose to rewrite or do something. I think it's because of the viewers. Like most of the fans are young. They are below the age of a teen (like 8-10). They like Tadc bc of the bright colors and the goddam Content Farms [Nah, not them]. And parents be like, this is not suit for kids, change it! Bro you lazy parents, this show was never meant for your Cheeto covered ipad kids. It's not a kid show. And if you ever wonder why Digital Circus has more views than Murder Drones even tho MD is more exciting than it, well here's the explanation. I think it's also based on the voice actor, Michael Kovach. Michael voice my goofball SD-N from Murder Drones, Rocky from Lackadaisy, Smg0 from Smg4, AngelDust from Pilot of Hazbin Hotel and other characters. And all of the characters are kind, well not all but they still have a kind heart and cares about someone. Meanwhile Jax is just a jerk. And I think that's the reason. Another reason is because is that the fans are just spoiled or something idk what word to describe anymore. They are mad bc they didn't get what they want. They want Jax to be hero but that's not how things work.
This is the end of the thing idk. Ty for reading and now if you excuse me I am going back to Murder Drones. Tell me if I'm mistaken or I missed something. Bye!
submitted by Delicious-Pool8599 to GlitchProductions [link] [comments]
I don't really have anything to do with Digital Circus or Glitch. I'm still a teen but this is my opinion.
The drama is about Jax. In episode 1, we see him very mean and ppl thought that he was a hero and he is doing it for the others. Also during the trailer, one scene, Jax was playing with a liquid like he was sad. Many YouTube thought he was sad or depressed, but in episode 2, he was actually mad bc the adventure wasn't so fun or anything. And that's the same thing I was reacting bc this episode looks epic at first but it turned so boring, I freaking slept the whole fudge thing that I have to watch it again. Jax is so evil and cruel. He is a jerk and that's the reason I like him. But like 70% of the goddam, ungrateful, ass fandom, mostly Twitter was so upset. Hey reddit, you're not that bad :). This thing got Michael Kovach (Jax's va) included. Bro's just a dude who voice acts and did amazing jobs in his work. Leave him alone! These ppl do not understand what. Accept ppl on who they are. Gooseworx already warned everyone that Jax will get worse and worse every episode. And yet ppl still complain.
So here's what I think why ppl asked Goose to rewrite or do something. I think it's because of the viewers. Like most of the fans are young. They are below the age of a teen (like 8-10). They like Tadc bc of the bright colors and the goddam Content Farms [Nah, not them]. And parents be like, this is not suit for kids, change it! Bro you lazy parents, this show was never meant for your Cheeto covered ipad kids. It's not a kid show. And if you ever wonder why Digital Circus has more views than Murder Drones even tho MD is more exciting than it, well here's the explanation. I think it's also based on the voice actor, Michael Kovach. Michael voice my goofball SD-N from Murder Drones, Rocky from Lackadaisy, Smg0 from Smg4, AngelDust from Pilot of Hazbin Hotel and other characters. And all of the characters are kind, well not all but they still have a kind heart and cares about someone. Meanwhile Jax is just a jerk. And I think that's the reason. Another reason is because is that the fans are just spoiled or something idk what word to describe anymore. They are mad bc they didn't get what they want. They want Jax to be hero but that's not how things work.
This is the end of the thing idk. Ty for reading and now if you excuse me I am going back to Murder Drones. Tell me if I'm mistaken or I missed something. Bye!
2024.05.06 21:17 nethead12 The Great - Season 1-3 $19.99 (match ATL)
 | Apple TV link below submitted by nethead12 to iTunesMovieDeals [link] [comments] |
2024.05.06 11:52 Final-Protection-759 35F SB seeking SD in Boise, ID
35F SB seeking SD in Boise, ID
About: I am a 35 year white attractive female located in a meridian, Idaho. I am a controller for a large home builder who works in a hybrid setting. I have the ability to make time pretty much as I see fit. I am intelligent, witty, sarcastic and by most standards very attractive. I love flying by the seat of my pants on road trips to other areas, camping, Vegas. Etc. Stats: 5’7” Dark Blonde Hair to Middle of Back, Blue Eyes , 36D
Looking for some who is ambitious in his life, a leader and generous of course are all characteristics that turn me on. Ideally he would be 50 and older. The sky is the limit.
No drama, mutually beneficial NSA / FWB but all must be enveloped into a SUGAR relationship SR.
Pictures provided to you after initial introduction in a DM. Long distance ok if you are facilitating the travel. xoxo
submitted by Final-Protection-759 to SLFmeetups [link] [comments]
About: I am a 35 year white attractive female located in a meridian, Idaho. I am a controller for a large home builder who works in a hybrid setting. I have the ability to make time pretty much as I see fit. I am intelligent, witty, sarcastic and by most standards very attractive. I love flying by the seat of my pants on road trips to other areas, camping, Vegas. Etc. Stats: 5’7” Dark Blonde Hair to Middle of Back, Blue Eyes , 36D
Looking for some who is ambitious in his life, a leader and generous of course are all characteristics that turn me on. Ideally he would be 50 and older. The sky is the limit.
No drama, mutually beneficial NSA / FWB but all must be enveloped into a SUGAR relationship SR.
Pictures provided to you after initial introduction in a DM. Long distance ok if you are facilitating the travel. xoxo
2024.05.06 04:34 Worthless_Paradox Did your relationship improve after moving in together?
I (30M) am childfree and have been going out with GF (29F) with a daughter (7YO) for almost 4 years now. She's been insistent that I leave the apartment I'm renting and move in with her in her house, so we've determined that to happen within the next couple of months. She shot down the idea of "testing it out" for a couple months while I keep this apartment. Seemingly because it showed a lack of commitment to the relationship.
The BD is not in the picture at all, and now that GF has cut contact with her parents due to family drama (common with her side, not used to it in mine at all), she has SD full-time. This has given us very little alone time, which I think bothers me more than her.
Tending to a house on her own with 4 cats and her daughter, she's perpetually overwhelmed and often on the verge of tears, also exacerbated by potential ADHD and depression. Of course, I help where I can, and I've spent days helping her clean and have occasionally either spent a weekend taking care of SD at my apartment to give her breathing room, or days during the week when she has something she needs to do. Sometimes I wonder if I do enough. But my space is the opposite. I don't have these responsibilities or dependents, and I actually flourish having my own space, my own time. Maybe it's childish, but Friday after work feels like it should be a time to decompress. With her, it's the complete opposite and it almost feels like it's one of the worst times of the week.
There's a lot of love, and we'd be able to always see each other and spend more time together, but admittedly, her push for me to move in often feels like it's in large part so I can alleviate and share some of her burdens. Obviously, I would pull my weight, but sometimes I wonder if I'm selfless enough to be happy with no longer having my own home or schedule.
TL;DR: Contemplating the idea of moving in with GF and her daughter full-time, wondering if and how the move has improved things for other step-parents, especially if they were also childfree.
submitted by Worthless_Paradox to stepparents [link] [comments]
The BD is not in the picture at all, and now that GF has cut contact with her parents due to family drama (common with her side, not used to it in mine at all), she has SD full-time. This has given us very little alone time, which I think bothers me more than her.
Tending to a house on her own with 4 cats and her daughter, she's perpetually overwhelmed and often on the verge of tears, also exacerbated by potential ADHD and depression. Of course, I help where I can, and I've spent days helping her clean and have occasionally either spent a weekend taking care of SD at my apartment to give her breathing room, or days during the week when she has something she needs to do. Sometimes I wonder if I do enough. But my space is the opposite. I don't have these responsibilities or dependents, and I actually flourish having my own space, my own time. Maybe it's childish, but Friday after work feels like it should be a time to decompress. With her, it's the complete opposite and it almost feels like it's one of the worst times of the week.
There's a lot of love, and we'd be able to always see each other and spend more time together, but admittedly, her push for me to move in often feels like it's in large part so I can alleviate and share some of her burdens. Obviously, I would pull my weight, but sometimes I wonder if I'm selfless enough to be happy with no longer having my own home or schedule.
TL;DR: Contemplating the idea of moving in with GF and her daughter full-time, wondering if and how the move has improved things for other step-parents, especially if they were also childfree.
2024.05.05 21:18 rocketpianoman Come support Drama at Stahl JH!!!
 | TLDR: Puyallup SD is cutting drama due to union negotiations and budget cuts. Please support. submitted by rocketpianoman to PuyallupWA [link] [comments] Hello! The Stahl drama program is getting cut by the district because of "budget cuts". If you are able to support this program by attending the show, you won't be disappointed. The students have been working hard and it's a high quality show. Also, if you want to show your disappointment and displeasure at the arts being used as a pawn in district and union negotiations, please attend the school board meeting tomorrow at the Kessler center at 6pm. You can also attend online. If you could share this flyer online. The program would appreciate. The goal is $2500/$3000 in ticket sales. Also, does anyone know where I could place flyers? I've hit a good chunk of businesses around Stahl but I'm wondering where else I should go. Thank you! |
2024.05.05 12:00 AutoModerator Weekly Reminder: Rules and FAQ - May 05, 2024 (Now with updates!)
Below you will find a weekly reminder of our Rules and partial FAQ. It's definitely a long read, but it's worth your time, especially if you are new to the community, or dropping by as a result of a link you found elsewhere. We periodically revise our rules, this weekly notice will help keep you informed of any changes made.
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.
submitted by AutoModerator to stepparents [link] [comments]
NOTE: These rules are guidelines. Some moderation discretion is to be expected.
Community Rules
1. Kindness Matters
Advise, don't criticize.- Post with empathy, thoughtfulness, and constructive commentary rather than judgment. Don't be an asshole.
- Name-calling, slurs (including gender or race based slurs), and insults towards other community members will not be tolerated. Do not attack others for their personally held values, custody situation, marital status, physical distance from stepkids, or economic status; or on the basis of race, sex, sexual orientation, age, religion, or ethnicity.
- No name-calling toward children, including the above-mentioned insults or the term "skids", or terms such as "mini-wife" or "mini-husband."
- Comments advocating spanking or any mention of wanting to harm children are not allowed.
- This is a support sub, not a judgement sub, assholes are not tolerated. Comments with terms used in other subs to pass judgement on assholes will be removed.
2. No Drama
This is a support sub.- Bickering, nitpicking, and thread derailment will not be tolerated and will be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
- Do not repeatedly badger a poster demanding answers, or refuse to acknowledge an answer that's already been given.
- Do not use sensitive issues from past posts (either from this sub or other subs) to attack another user, as we are all discussing vulnerable topics.
- Crossposting anything from /stepparents to any other subreddit might result in a ban and may result in the original thread being locked. Brigading our sub will result in an immediate ban.
3. Report, Don’t Rant
No backseat modding.- If you see someone breaking the rules, report the post or comment to the mods rather than engaging them in an argument. Failure to do so may be subject to comment removal at moderator discretion.
- No meta posts complaining about rude comments, DMs, or general sub issues.
- If you think someone is a troll or previously banned user, either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
4. No Naming & Shaming
No userpings or links.- Tagging/pinging users or other subreddits in an attempt to bully, harass, or complain will not be tolerated. Do not tag other subs, ever.
- If you want to complain about another subreddit being hostile to stepparents, do not name the subreddit. "Other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice.
5. No Platitudes
Nobody knew what they were getting into.- Comments like "You knew what you were getting into", "Love them, love their kids!", "They're a package deal!" and "You have to love them like your own!" will be removed.
- Comments suggesting that OP is not cut out for stepparenting will be removed at moderator discretion.
- Comments like "This is just a part of parenting, deal with it!" will be removed at moderator discretion.
6. No Trolling
We have zero tolerance for trolls.- This is a support sub. Our subscribers do not have the time, nor inclination, to provide support to internet trolls. Posts that are suspected to be trolling attempts will be immediately removed, and the poster banned.
- Concern trolling, devil's advocating, gish-galloping, sealioning, and general asshattery are subject to immediate removal and banning without warning or notice.
- Any attempt to circumvent the ban by creating a new username will be reported to reddit admins and possibly result in account suspension.
7. No Personally Identifiable Information
Use discretion when posting.- We highly recommend using a separate account for support subs to help prevent being doxxed. Do not post any information that may allow others to figure out your identity.
- Do not post photos of children, or any other photo that could be used to identify you or another user on the sub.
- Any image that contains a name or other identifying information should have the name or identifying information blurred out. This includes drawings, notes, and screenshots.
- Do not link to social media or any articles/blogs where you or another user on the sub is mentioned by name.
8. No More than 2 Posts per 24 hours
Use the daily threads.- We are not a huge sub, but we are no longer a small sub. If you have multiple grievances to air, use the daily discussion threads instead of multiple posts.
9. Follow Reddiquette
Remember the human.- Adhere to the same standards of behavior online that you follow in real life.
- Read it in full here.
- Downvoting is reserved for comments that don’t contribute, and shouldn't be used to indicate disagreement.
- If you believe someone is in violation of the subreddit rules, please either use the report function or message the mods to direct their attention to the issue.
- Suspected brigading will be reported to reddit admins.
10. No Porn, Spam, Blogs, or Research Studies/Surveys Without Mod Approval
Just don't.- This is a SFW subreddit. Posting pornography will result in immediate post removal and permanent ban.
- Advertising on the subreddit (outside of Reddit's own advertising) is not allowed.
- No personal blog posts are allowed without express moderator permission.
- No advertising without prior mod approval.
- No asking for money/posting fundraisers/etc.
- For links to parenting research studies or surveys, please message the mods for permission before posting.
11. Disputes in Modmail Only
Don't argue with the mods on the sub.- Any issues specifically related to how a mod is moderating should be addressed to the full moderating team via mod mail. This ensures that all mods are aware of any concerns and prevents disintegration of the topic thread at hand.
- This means to do not message or send chat requests to individual mods. All discussion and complaints about mod actions need to be done in mod mail ONLY. Failure to follow this rule can result in an immediate permanent ban.
- Comments in threads asking about mod decisions are subject to removal without notice.
12. Moderator Actions
We aren't kidding.- Users are expected to know the rules before posting. If you are warned or banned for violating the rules, ignorance is not an excuse.
- Moderators will remove posts and comments and/or lock threads in accordance with the rules above. Typically this happens when threads have gone off-topic in a way that is not productive for the OP, or comments overall have become contentious or disrespectful.
- If a poster continues to argue or to willfully violate these rules, temporary and permanent ban procedures will be followed. Any attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban. User bans will not be discussed in the sub. Questions posted about user bans are subject to removal and the poster subject to warning/ban procedures. The mod team will not discuss a specific user ban with anyone other than the user involved.
- New accounts are subject to manual approval until they are no longer deemed "new" by the mod team. This helps to weed out trolls and ban evaders.
- We rely on Automoderator to scan for specific words and phrases that are not welcome here and notify the mod team to review the comment or post. This includes slurs of any type and platitudes such as "Love them as your own!"
- The mod team uses a combination of blacklisting and banning when dealing with trolls.
- We employ the use of a bot that automatically bans anyone who comments in subs that have historically harassed our users. If you are picked up by the bot for telling trolls to get fucked, reach out via mod mail and we'll get you sorted out.
- The rules above as well as ban procedures are considered guidelines only; some deviation may be necessary on a case by case basis and/or at the mod team's discretion.
13. Ban Procedure
These actions are at moderator discretion.- Pornography will result in an automatic permanent ban.
- Extremely egregious content will result in an immediate permanent ban.
- You may receive a 7 or 30 day temporary ban for first and second rule violations, depending upon severity.
- Continued rule violations will result in a permanent ban.
- Willful attempts to avoid or bypass temporary bans will result in a permanent ban.
- We recognize the reddit site-wide rules of using alt names to get around bans and will ban those as well as report them to reddit admins.
FAQ - About the Rules
What does Kindness Matters mean?
- Shortest version? Don't be an asshole. People come here for support and advice, they do not come here to be yelled at or told they are the reason everything is going sideways. There are ways to point out that someone may want to do some reflection on their own actions and reactions without being an asshole about it.
- The purpose of this subreddit is to provide support and a sense of belonging for struggling stepparents. We aren't here to pass judgement, but rather to offer support, empathy, and constructive commentary. That does not include "hard truths" or "tough love." Stepparents get enough of that in every other subreddit, we're not passing it out here. Be respectful.
- Remember, most people aren't going to come to a sub like this when everything is going great and everyone is getting along. People are coming here when they are down, when they are feeling defeated and stretched to the limit. Kicking someone when they are down is shitty behavior and we don't tolerate it.
What about being kind to the kids?
- "Won't somebody think of the children?" Pearl clutching isn't needed here. If you read the Kindness Matters rule closely, you will see that there is a clause in there about name calling children. We don't allow it. We also don't allow people rolling in telling OP that they feel sorry for their stepkids because OP is feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.
- If anyone is advocating slapping, spanking, or any other form of violence, report the comment immediately. We do not advocate violence towards children of any sort. The mod team does not advocate any sort of physical punishment at any time.
- Venting about behaviors is not the same as insulting the kids. However, if you see a post or comment where kids are being name called or dragged to the point of no return, use the report button. We try to catch the posts and remove them before they hit the sub, but we cannot see every comment without your help. Use the report button to bring problematic comments to our attention. Don't engage in a war of words on our subreddit.
Why is this sub such an echo chamber?
- Not allowing contributors to pile on and tell OP that they are a terrible human being who should never be around children does not equate to being an echo chamber. Many contributors here will offer OP suggestions to help them work through their resentments and frustrations, and the most egregious situations are called out. We simply ask that it be called out with respect.
- If you feel that a post is simply too much for you to handle without following the rules, move on to another post.
- If you believe that a post itself is crossing the rules report it. If the mod team has approved the post, it is because the mod team believes that the OP needs help from the community or needs a moment to vent and move on from their vent. That does not give you license to pile on disrespectfully. Unless it is proven that OP is a bot, assume that OP is a human being with real thoughts and feelings and has posted from a place of vulnerability.
Why can't I tell OP that they are an asshole?
- Because this isn't a judgement sub. We aren't AITA, we don't want to be AITA.
- Comments with terms like YTA, NTA, ESH, NAH will be removed.
- Don't start your posts with INFO either. We generally recognize that as a fishing attempt for more information to pass judgement on OP, and again, we are not a judgment sub.
But OP asked if they were an asshole?!
- Their post somehow got past our automoderator. Just use the report button. We will address it with OP.
- If you've asked if you are an asshole, a-hole, a*hole, a**hole, whatever, don't be surprised if your post is removed without warning. This isn't a judgment sub. If you want judgment, you know where to go.
What is a gendered slur?
- While it seems that everyone understands what racist slurs are, people struggle understanding the concept of gendered slurs. Generally speaking, we are talking about derogatory nouns or verbs that are used to negatively describe people or situations based on gendered terms.
- We've gone back and forth on this a few times, and the truth is, we get it, it's your safe space and you want to be able to vent about BM/BD how you want to vent about them, without us telling you how to vent about them. Fair enough. Vent away. What we are going to stick to here how people are referring to other users and to stepchildren.
- Examples that are not allowed:
- "My SD is such a little bitch."
- "She dresses/acts like a slut."
- "My SS acts like a pussy."
- "My SS is such a beta male."
- "You are all fucking whores."
- "Any dude who is raising some sluts kids is a cuck!"
- "Little Lord Fauntleroy over here thinking he runs the house!"
- "You're just the bangnanny, get used to it."
- Don't call users here names, don't call stepchildren names.
- Masking the term with asterisks or other neat little tricks might get you around the bot, but if we see it, we're removing it and quite possibly giving you a time out. The intended word is still there and you deliberately tried to skate the rule.
- As there is not enough space to list every term that is offensive and does not belong, nor every situation in which term or phrase may be allowable in context, this rule is enforced based on moderator discretion.
Seriously? You are the language police now?
- We're here to talk about stepparenting. And we would like for that to happen in a respectful way. Attacking each other doesn't help. Belittling stepchildren draws in trolls who don't understand your frustration, all they see is an evil stepmonster talking shit on the internet about a poor, innocent baby. Yes, even if that "poor, innocent baby" just robbed you blind and set fire to the house on their way out the door. That's just how it goes.
- We are aware that this is a relatively new rule and a lot of older posts and comments contain a lot of problematic language, including some from mods themselves. We are growing and evolving, and rules change as the sub grows and evolves.
What does No Drama really mean?
- Pretty much what it says, do not bring drama from other subs into this sub. Do not engage in vote brigades. Do not try to incite other subscribers to riot in a different sub. Don't follow posters into this sub from other subs to continue to harass them. Do not badger someone or derail threads. Do not harass community members because you don't agree with them. There's enough drama in the daily lives of subscribers, more isn't needed.
What is thread derailment?
- When a comment chain has devolved to the point where all you are doing is arguing back and forth with someone about the same thing over and over again, you have derailed the thread. Also known as bickering. It's what children do. We assume if people are in a stepparent role they are adults. We expect you to act like it.
- If you aren't a stepparent, or in a stepparenting role, consider that perhaps this subreddit isn't for you. If you want to participate, do so with respect. Thread derailment, arguing, bickering, and nitpicking are not allowed.
But what if they didn't answer my question?
- No one has to answer your questions. This is a support sub, not an inquisition. Jumping on a bandwagon with "OP is evading the question" in a 20 comment long chain is the epitome of thread derailment. You'll find more information about trolling below and how this might be considered such.
Why am I being silenced? I'm just asking for a back and forth!
- Thread derailment, badgering, and nitpicking are considered harassment. Continued harassment of either community members or mods will get you banned.
Why can't I look at someone's post history and comment about it?
- No mod in the history of this sub has ever once said post histories are forbidden. What we do frown upon is using someone's post history to attack, belittle, or otherwise harass someone.
- Example Post: "My stepkid's mom really hates me. How can I make this better?"
- Okay: "Based on the timeline and your post history, it looks like this may have started as an affair. Unfortunately there's going to be outstanding issues for a long time due to that. Try focusing on yourself and how you can move forward without worrying about how someone else feels about you."
- Not Okay: "Holy shit! You were the OW! What the hell do you expect, homewrecker?!"
- Example Post: "I am completely overloaded and feeling very down about myself."
- Okay: "In your post history you mentioned that your spouse wasn't really helping around the house. Has that changed at all?"
- Not Okay: "LOL, you already got the answers you need in your post on relationships. You are stupid for sticking with your lazy spouse."
Why can't we crosspost stuff to other subs?
- We can't stop you from doing so. The problem isn't that something has been crossposted, it's when the community that it's been crossposted to feels the need to come over here and harass OP. When we see that happening, we lock the post and start passing out bans. If you did the crossposting, you'll be banned. If you participated in the brigading, you'll be banned.
What if it's my own post?
- Again, we can't stop you from doing so. We prefer that you don't technically crosspost, but rather just copy and paste your post. Why? Because inevitably the above will happen. Redditors from other subs will follow you back to /stepparents and start attacking users here. It just happens.
What is "brigading"?
- Reddit defines vote manipulation and brigading as follows:
- Using multiple accounts, voting services, or any other software to increase or decrease vote scores.
- Asking people to vote up or down certain posts, either on Reddit itself or through social networks, messaging, etc. for personal gain.
- Forming or joining a group that votes together, either on a specific post, a user's posts, posts from a domain, etc.
- We, along with pretty much every other subreddit that has ever had to deal with this nonsense, further define brigading as this: You saw a post on another sub that linked to our sub either via a link in a comment or a crosspost. It was basically saying something along the lines of "OMG, check out these assholes over on /stepparents! They literally hate all their stepkids!" And then you and your friends come over and start hammering on OP and telling OP how much they suck. Congrats, you have just participated in a brigade.
What is this whole Report, Don't Rant thing about?
- If you see a post or comment that breaks the rules, instead of engaging, report it. When you report it, it sends notification to the mod team. We will act on it where appropriate. Engaging with bad faith users may result in your comments being removed. If you repeatedly do so, you may end up being banned.
What if I see an obvious troll?
- Report it.
What if they are being really mean in comments?
- Report it.
What if they are harassing me in private messages?
- Step 1: Report them to admins. You can report harassment to reddit by using this link or send a DM to reddit admins. Include the link to the DM, admins can see your inbox and providing a direct link is helpful for them to weed out bad actors.
- Step 2: Block the person so they cannot directly contact you again.
- Step 3: Send us a mod mail and let the mod team know. Tell us who they are and what they said, send us a screenshot if you can - admins can see your DMs, mods can't. We'll take action where necessary by banning from the sub if they aren't already banned.
What do you mean by No Naming & Shaming?
- Just as we prefer to not be linked to or crossposted from, we do not allow linking to or calling out other subs by name. If you see something you want to share, say it's a hot post that has hit the front page and a stepparent is being absolutely flayed, just refer to it as "that hot post that hit the front page." If you want to complain about other places in general, "other parenting/advice/judgement subs" will suffice. Absolutely under no circumstances should you link to anywhere else.
I can't link to other subs?
- Do not directly link to another sub. (e.g.: "/insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
- Do not name other subs. (e.g.: "I won't link to it directly, but insertsubnamehere is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
- Do not abbreviate other subs. (e.g.: "I know that ISNH is ridiculously hostile to stepparents!")
I can't ping other users?
- Do not summon another user with a username ping/tag. (e.g.: "insertusernamehere was being an asshole.")
- If you are agreeing with someone, it is okay to link to them. (e.g.: "I agree with insertusernamehere, you need to take a couple of steps back and reflect on this.")
What does No Platitudes mean?
- Sanctimonious, overused clichés that grossly oversimplify the stepparenting experience are neither wanted nor allowed here. We have all heard it a thousand times before, we don't need to hear it again. It's not nearly as insightful and wise as some would like to think.
Why don't you people understand it's a package deal?
- Any comment that suggests that OP should have known what they were getting involved with, or that they needed to understand that the kids were part of some package they needed to accept before signing up for marriage is subject to immediate removal.
- This is one of the most insensitive things you can say to a stepparent. Most stepparents were aware of the children, but they were probably not aware of all of the family dynamics.
Why can't you just love them like they are your own?
- Demanding that a stranger you do not know love children that are not biologically theirs as if they were theirs can be incredibly damaging to someone who is already in a vulnerable situation. Any comment that falls along these lines will be removed.
What do you mean by No Trolling? I was just...
- No means no. No trolling. No pretending to be a stepparent and then whipping out the Greatest Hits Bingo Card of The Worst Stepparent in the History of Stepparents. We see you. We've seen you a thousand times.
What does "concern trolling", "gish-galloping", and "sealioning" have to do with stepparenting? This isn't a debate sub, why are you using debate terms?
- That's absolutely right, this isn't a debate sub. And yet, here we are, day after day, having to defend ourselves against this sort of thing. So, enough. No more. Usage of any of these things will get you banned.
What is "Concern Trolling?"
- A concern troll is someone who disingenuously visits sites of an opposing ideology to disrupt conversation by offering unwanted advice on how to solve problems which do not really exist.
- Example Post: OP expresses concern that she will feel, and possibly act, differently towards her stepchildren after her husband decides that no, he doesn't want anymore children after all.
- Example Concern Troll pulled from actual mod mail after their comment was removed: "Possible child abuse claims need to be sorted out well before whatever empathy you believe the OP was looking for."
What is a "Devil's Advocate"?
- "I'm just playing devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break, too?" BM has dozens of different mom based subs alone on reddit she can complain on, this sub is for stepparents. The stepparent doesn't need to consider that maybe BM is just really tired and needs a break.
"Gish-galloping?" What does that even mean?
- The Gish Gallop is the fallacious debate tactic of drowning your opponent in a flood of individually-weak arguments in order to prevent rebuttal of the whole argument collection without great effort. The Gish Gallop is a conveyor belt-fed version of the on the spot fallacy, as it's unreasonable for anyone to have a well-composed answer immediately available to every argument present in the Gallop.
And "sealioning?" What's that?
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Posting Guidelines for Stepparents
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2024.05.04 21:45 Dragon_Tears111 SKs telling BM about ours baby?
My husband (43) and I (40) are so torn. We have one ours baby already (1m) and are thrilled to be pregnant with our second. I have a stepdaughter (15f) from his first marriage.
Our relationship with BM has always been fine? Obviously it’s not close or anything but up until this year there hasn’t been any major drama. BM is going through some personal stuff and SD has been staying with us a little bit more because they are NOT getting along, which is mostly great except she has never helped out with her brother.
When we told her about my first pregnancy, SD reacted fine until later when we asked her to call and tell her mom (like I said, we have a decent relationship with BM and didn’t want her finding out from anyone else). She called her from her room and we could hear her venting a ton of frustration (I would say 90% of it was unfounded) about the situation and my husband and I both felt that some of what she said was unnecessary and some was downright cruel (edit: to clarify the venting and unnecessary frustrations were from SD, not BM. BM mostly talked SD down). It really tainted us announcing my first pregnancy (DH insisted on telling SD first, even before my parents and our family).
SD is working at a retreat this weekend for school credits, and we pick her up tomorrow morning. For this pregnancy I really wanted my announcement to be positive so we did tell my parents last night. When my husband was talking about telling SD tomorrow morning, my mom asked about BM and seemed upset that we were planning on having SD tell her again. She said that we shouldn’t have last time and one of us should tell BM, especially because there is a lot of conflict between SD and her mom right now.
The problem is that my DH doesn’t want to (it’s awkward obviously) and I don’t have that kind of relationship with BM although we are friendly. Plus, SD just turned 15, I think that’s a perfectly fine age and expect her to be more mature this time anyways. I was going to ask some of friends their opinion tonight but non of them are SPs. What do you all think?
submitted by Dragon_Tears111 to stepparents [link] [comments]
Our relationship with BM has always been fine? Obviously it’s not close or anything but up until this year there hasn’t been any major drama. BM is going through some personal stuff and SD has been staying with us a little bit more because they are NOT getting along, which is mostly great except she has never helped out with her brother.
When we told her about my first pregnancy, SD reacted fine until later when we asked her to call and tell her mom (like I said, we have a decent relationship with BM and didn’t want her finding out from anyone else). She called her from her room and we could hear her venting a ton of frustration (I would say 90% of it was unfounded) about the situation and my husband and I both felt that some of what she said was unnecessary and some was downright cruel (edit: to clarify the venting and unnecessary frustrations were from SD, not BM. BM mostly talked SD down). It really tainted us announcing my first pregnancy (DH insisted on telling SD first, even before my parents and our family).
SD is working at a retreat this weekend for school credits, and we pick her up tomorrow morning. For this pregnancy I really wanted my announcement to be positive so we did tell my parents last night. When my husband was talking about telling SD tomorrow morning, my mom asked about BM and seemed upset that we were planning on having SD tell her again. She said that we shouldn’t have last time and one of us should tell BM, especially because there is a lot of conflict between SD and her mom right now.
The problem is that my DH doesn’t want to (it’s awkward obviously) and I don’t have that kind of relationship with BM although we are friendly. Plus, SD just turned 15, I think that’s a perfectly fine age and expect her to be more mature this time anyways. I was going to ask some of friends their opinion tonight but non of them are SPs. What do you all think?
2024.05.04 21:06 Glimmerofinsight Finally kicking Sd off our cell phone bill. I expect to be despised for it....
I have been trying find the right time (least amount of drama/stepmom hate from SD) to stop paying for SD's cell phone. She is almost 22 now and lives with BM. She works 2 days a week and does computer gaming for fun the rest of the week. I noticed DH and I could save some money if we tried a new plan, and that plan only has 2 lines. Wish me luck. I've told DH about it and he seems open to it, since I am the one paying the phone bill. I told him he can set her up her own account and pay it himself if he wants to continue to do that, but I hope he doesn't because its really time to start letting her understand the concept of money and caring for herself, as she has been very coddled by her bioparents.
I know this is normal and that she has no right to scream at me for changing my cell plan, but I still have this sinking feeling that I will get some hate-texts from her. Ugh, being a stepmom is a minefield, isn't it?
submitted by Glimmerofinsight to Stepmom [link] [comments]
I know this is normal and that she has no right to scream at me for changing my cell plan, but I still have this sinking feeling that I will get some hate-texts from her. Ugh, being a stepmom is a minefield, isn't it?