And also the symptoms. For example at first I didn't realise I was getting fevers as I just felt deathly tired. Then one day I had fever symptoms and got a thermometer and checked and sure enough my temperature was up. Over the years the fever symptoms got more and more extreme but still usually mainly include very extreme tiredness. Sore joints is also another main symptom. If you don't think you get them but suffer from tiredness I strongly suggest you start taking your temperature to check just in case. I managed to figure out my symptoms were at their worst when my temperature was up. Over time it became obvious they were fevers and I didn't need the thermometer but I don't know why the actual symptoms were subtle at first.
I am not taking about basal body temperature but I've considered tracking that again given that my daytime temperature changes so much. The temperature can also go down very low just before it jumps up, which is another sign of a fever. When I tracked my BBT, my temperature not long after puberty started did not change much, only what it is supposed to (about 0.4 at most, it then slowly kept creeping higher and got a degree higher every month although I forgot at what point). It would be considered a low grade fever though. It also depends what your normal temperature is, and how much it actually rises. It may be worth checking this. I'm not sure when it started but i'm pretty sure it didn't always happen, but who knows as I never used a thermometer except for this brief period.
Other symptoms include face flushing (suddenly red and hot then goes away when you stop) when angry or laughing (which doesn't happen normally and didn't happen before), sore joints, headache, cold hands and or feet either by itself or with very warm skin. Warm/hot skin. Hot urine. Too hot in bed. Unable to sleep (realised I had a fever later which was keeping me awake), and rosy red cheeks. Extreme fatigue and inability to move. (These are just my fever related symptoms, I have many many more!)
I honestly feel like there may be something to this as far as figuring out what PMDD actually is, the cause of the cure.

The Age of the World Picture
In metaphysics reflection is accomplished concerning the essence of what is and a decision takes place regarding the essence of truth*1. Metaphysics grounds an age, in that through a specific interpretation of what is and through a specific comprehension of truth it gives to that age the basis upon which it is essentially formed*2. This basis holds complete dominion over all the phenomena that distinguish the age. Conversely, in order that there may be an adequate reflection upon these phenomena themselves, the metaphysical basis for them must let itself be apprehended in them. Reflection is the courage to make the troth of our own presuppositions and the realm of our own goals into the things that most deserve to be called in question Appendix 1).
One of the essential phenomena of the modern age is its science. A phenomenon of no less importance is machine technology. We must not, however, misinterpret that technology as the mere application of modern mathematical physical science to praxis. Machine technology is itself an autonomous transformation of praxis, a type of transformation wherein praxis first demands the employment of mathematical physical science. Machine technology remains up to now the most visible outgrowth of the essence of modern technology, which is identical with the essence of modern metaphysics.
A third equally essential phenomenon of the modern period lies in the event of art's moving into the purview of aesthetics. That means that the art work becomes the object of mere subjective experience, and that consequently art is considered to be an expression of human life*4.
A fourth modern phenomenon manifests itself in the fact that human activity is conceived and consummated as culture. Thus culture is the realization of the highest values, through the nurture and cultivation of the highest goods of man. It lies in the essence of culture, as such nurturing, to nurture itself in its turn and thus to become the politics of culture.
A fifth phenomenon of the modern age is the loss of the gods*5. This expression does not mean the mere doing away with the gods, gross atheism. The loss of the gods is a twofold process. On the one hand, the world picture is Christianized inasmuch as the cause of the world is posited as infinite, unconditional, absolute. On the other hand, Christendom transforms Christian doctrine into a world view (the Christian world view), and in that way makes itself modern and up to date. The loss of the gods is the situation of indecision regarding God and the gods. Christendom has the greatest share in bringing it about. But the loss of the gods is so far from excluding religiosity that rather only through that loss is the relation to the gods changed into mere experience." When this occurs, then the gods have fled. The resultant void is compensated for by means of historiographical and psychological investigation of myth.
What understanding of what is, what interpretation of truth, lies at the foundation of these phenomena?
We shall limit the question to the phenomenon mentioned first, to science [Wissenschaft].
In what does the essence of modern science lie?
What understanding of what is and of truth provides the basis for that essence? If we succeed in reaching the metaphysical ground that provides the foundation for science as a modern phenomenon, then the entire essence of the modern age will have to let itself be apprehended from out of that ground.
When we use the word "science" today, it means something essentially different from the doctrina and scientia of the Middle Ages, and also from the Greek episteme. Greek science was never exact, precisely because, in keeping with its essence, it could not be exact and did not need to be exact. Hence it makes no sense whatever to suppose that modern science is more exact than that of antiquity. Neither can we say that the Galilean doctrine of freely falling bodies is true and that Aristotle's teaching, that light bodies strive upward, is false; for the Greek understanding of the essence of body and place and of the relation between the two rests upon a different interpretation of beings and hence conditions a correspondingly different kind of seeing and questioning of natural events. No one would presume to maintain that Shakespeare's poetry is more advanced than that of Aeschylus. It is still more impossible to say that the modern understanding of whatever is, is more correct than that of the Greeks. Therefore, if we want to grasp the essence of modern science, we must first free ourselves from the habit of comparing the new science with the old solely in terms of degree, from the point of view of progress.
The essence of what we today call science is research. In what does the essence of research consist?
In the fact that knowing [das Erkennen] establishes itself as a procedure within some realm of what is, in nature or in history. Procedure does not mean here merely method or methodology. For every procedure already requires an open sphere in which it moves. And it is precisely the opening up of such a sphere that is the fundamental event in research. This is accomplished through the projection within some realm of what is-in nature, for example-of a fixed ground plan*6 of natural events. The projection sketches out in advance the manner in which the knowing procedure must bind itself and adhere to the sphere opened up. This binding adherence is the rigor of research*7. Through the projecting of the ground plan and the prescribing of rigor, procedure makes secure for itself its sphere of objects within the realm of Being . A look at that earliest science, which is at the same time the normative one in the modern age, namely, mathematical physics, will make clear what we mean. Inasmuch as modern atomic physics still remains physics, what is essential - and only the essential is aimed at here- will hold for it also.
Modern physics is called mathematical because, in a remarkable way, it makes use of a quite specific mathematics. But it can proceed mathematically in this way only because, in a deeper sense, it is already itself mathematical. Ta mathemata means for the Greeks that which man knows in advance in his observation of whatever is and in his intercourse with things ; the corporeality of bodies, the vegetable character of plants, the animality of animals, the humanness of man. Alongside these, belonging also to that which is already-known, i.e., to the mathematical, are numbers. If we come upon three apples on the table, we recognize that there are three of them. But the number three, threeness, we already know. This means that number is something mathematical. Only because numbers represent, as it were, the most striking of always-already-knowns, and thus offer the most familiar instance of the mathematical, is "mathematical" promptly reserved as a name for the numerical. In no way, however, is the essence of the mathematical defined by numberness, Physics is, in general, the knowledge of nature, and, in particular, the knowledge of material corporeality in its motion; for that corporeality manifests itself immediately and universally in everything natural, even if in a variety of ways, If physics takes shape explicitly, then, as something mathematical, this means that, in an especially pronounced way, through it and for it something is stipulated in advance as what is already-known. That stipulating has to do with nothing less than the plan or projection of that which must henceforth, for the knowing of nature that is sought after, be nature: the self-contained system of motion of units of mass related spatiotemporally. Into this ground plan of nature, as supplied in keeping with its prior stipulation, the following definitions among others have been incorporated: Motion means change of place. No motion or direction of motion is superior to any other. Every place is equal to every other. No point in time has preference over any other. Every force is defined according to - i.e., is only - its consequences in motion, and that means in magnitude of change of place in the unity of time. Every event must be seen so as to be fitted into this ground plan of nature. Only within the perspective of this ground plan does an event in nature become visible as such an event. This projected plan of nature finds its guarantee in the fact that physical research, in every one of its questioning steps, is bound in advance to adhere to it. This binding adherence, the rigor of research, has its own character at any given time in keeping with the projected plan. The rigor of mathematical physical science is exactitude. Here all events, if they are to enter at all into representation as events of nature, must be defined beforehand as spatiotemporal magnitudes of motion. Such defining is accomplished through measuring, with the help of number and calculation. But mathematical research into nature is not exact because it calculates with precision; rather it must calculate in this way because its adherence to its object-sphere has the character of exactitude. The humanistic sciences, in contrast, indeed all the sciences concerned with life, must necessarily be inexact just in order to remain rigorous. A living thing can indeed also be grasped as spatiotemporal magnitude of motion, but then it is no longer apprehended as living. The inexactitude of the historical humanistic sciences is not a deficiency, but is only the fulfillment of a demand essential to this type of research. It is true, also, that the projecting and securing of the object-sphere of the historical sciences is not only of another kind, but is much more difficult of execution than is the achieving of rigor in the exact sciences.
Science becomes research through the projected plan and through the securing of that plan in the rigor of procedure. Projection and rigor, however, first develop into what they are in methodology. The latter constitutes the second essential characteristic of research. If the sphere that is projected is to become objective, then it is a matter of bringing it to encounter us in the complete diversity of its levels and interweavings. Therefore procedure must be free to view the changeableness in whatever encounters it. Only within the horizon of the incessant-otherness of change does the plenitude of particularity - of facts - show itself. -But the facts must become objective [gegenstiindlich]. Hence procedure must represent [vorstellen] the changeable in its changing, must bring it to a stand and let the motion be a motion nevertheless. The fixedness of facts and the constantness of their change as such is "rule." The constancy of change in the necessity of its course is "law." It is only within the purview of rule and law that facts become clear as the facts that they are. Research into facts in the realm of nature is intrinsically the establishing and verifying of rule and law. Methodology, through which a sphere of objects comes into representation, has the character of clarifying on the basis of what is clear - of explanation. Explanation is always twofold. It accounts for an unknown by means of a known, and at the same time it verifies that known by means of that unknown. Explanation takes place in investigation. In the physical sciences investigation takes place by means of experiment, always according to the kind of field of investigation and according to the type of explanation aimed at. But physical science does not first become research through experiment; rather, on the contrary, experiment first becomes possible where and only where the knowledge of nature has been transformed into research. Only because modern physics is a physics that is essentially mathematical can it be experimental. Because neither medieval doctrina nor Greek episteme is science in the sense of research, for these it is never a question of experiment. To be sure, it was Aristotle who first understood what empeiria (experientia) means; the observation of things themselves, their qualities and modifications under changing conditions, and consequently the knowledge of the way in which things as a rule behave. But an observation that aims at such knowledge, the experimentum, remains essentially different from the observation that belongs to science as research, from the research experiment; it remains essentially different even when ancient and medieval observation also works with number and measure, and even when that observation makes use of specific apparatus and instruments. For in all this, that which is decisive about the experiment is completely missing. Experiment begins with the laying down of a law as a basis. To set up an experiment means to represent or conceive [vorstellen] the conditions under which a specific series of motions can be made susceptible of being followed in its necessary progression, i.e., of being controlled in advance by calculation. But the establishing of a law is accomplished with reference to the ground plan of the object-sphere. That ground plan furnishes a criterion and constrains the anticipatory representing of the conditions. Such representing in and through which the experiment begins is no random imagining. that is why Newton said, hypothesis non fingo, “the bases that are laid down are not arbitrarily invented.” They are developed out of the ground plan of nature and are sketched into it. Experiment is that methodology which, in its planning and execution, is supported and guided on the basis of the fundamental law laid down, in order to adduce the facts that either verify and confirm the law or deny it confirmation. The more exactly the ground plan of nature is projected, the more exact becomes the possibility of experiment. Hence the much cited medieval Schoolman Roger Bacon can never be the forerunner of the modern experimental research scientist; rather he remains merely a successor of Aristotle. For in the meantime, the real locus of truth has been transferred by Christendom to faith - to the infallibility of the written word and to the doctrine of the Church. The highest knowledge and teaching is theology as the interpretation of the divine word of revelation, which is set down in Scripture and proclaimed by the Church. Here, to know is not to search out; rather it is to understand rightly the authoritative Word and the authorities proclaiming it. Therefore, the discussion of the words and doctrinal opinions of the various authorities take precedence in the acquiring of knowledge in the Middle Ages. The componere scripta et sermones, the argumentum ex verbo, is decisive and at the same time is the reason why the accepted Platonic and Aristotelian philosophy that had been taken over had to be transformed into scholastic dialectic. If, now, Roger Bacon demands the experimentum - and he does demand it - he does not mean the experiment of science as research; rather he wants the argumentum ex re instead of the argumentum ex verbo, the careful observing of things themselves, i.e., Aristotelian empeiria, instead of the discussion of doctrines.
The modern research experiment, however, is not only an observation more precise in degree and scope, but is a methodology essentially different in kind, related to the verification of law in the framework, and at the service, of an exact plan of nature. Source criticism in the historical humanistic sciences corresponds to experiment in physical research. Here the name “source criticism” designates the whole gamut of the discovery, examination, verification, evaluation, preservation, and interpretation of sources. Historiographical explanation, which is based on source criticism, does not, it is true, trace facts back to laws and rules. But neither does it confine itself to the mere reporting of facts. In the historical sciences, just as in the natural sciences, the methodology aims at representing what is fixed and stable and at making history an object. History can become objective openly when it is past. What is stable in what is past, that on the basis of which historiographical explanation reckons up the solitary and the diverse in history, is the always-has-been-once-already, the comparable. Through the constant comparing of everything with everything, what is intelligible is found by calculation and is certified and established as the ground plan of history. The sphere of histriographical research extends only so far as historiographical explanation reaches. The unique, the rare, the simple - in short, the great - in history is never self-evident and hence remains inexplicable. It is not that historical research denies what is great in history; rather it explains it as the exception. In this explaining, the great is measured against the ordinary and the average. And there is no other historiographical explanation so long as explaining means reduction to what is intelligible and so long as historiographical explanation so long as explaining means reduction to what is intelligible and so long as historiography remains research, i.e., an explaining. Because historiography as research projects and objectifies the past in the sense of an explicable and surveyable nexus of actions and consequences, it requires source criticism as its instrument of objectification. The standards of this criticism alter to the degree that historiography approaches journalism.
Every science is, as research, grounded upon the projection of a circumscribed object-sphere and is therefore necessarily a science of individualized character. Every individualized science must, moreover, in the development of its projected plan by means of its methodology, particularize itself into specific fields of investigation. This particularizing (specialization) is, however, by no means simply an irksome concomitant of the increasing unsurveyability of the results of research. It is not a necessary evil, but is rather an essential necessity of science as research. Specialization is not the consequence but the foundation of the progress of all research. Research does not, through its methodology, become dispersed into random investigations, so as to lose itself in them; for modern science is determined by a third fundamental event: ongoing activity (Appendix 2).*10
By this is to be understood first of all the phenomenon that a science today, whether physical or humanistic, attains to the respect due a science only when it has become capable of being institutionalized. However, research is not ongoing activity because its work is accomplished in institutions, but rather institutions are necessary because science, intrinsically as research, has the character of ongoing activity. The methodology through which individual object-spheres are conquered does not simply amass results. Rather, with the help of its results it adapts [richtet sich ... ein] itself for a new procedure. Within the complex of machinery that is necessary to physics in order to carry out the smashing of the atom lies hidden the whole of physics up to now. Correspondingly, in historiographical research, funds of source materials become usable for explanation only if those sources are themselves guaranteed on the basis of historiographical explanation. In the course of these processes, the methodology of the science becomes circumscribed by means of its results. More and more the methodology adapts itself to the possibilities of procedure opened up through itself. This having-to-adapt-itself to its own results as the ways and means of an advancing methodology is the essence of research's character as ongoing activity. And it is that character that is the intrinsic basis for the necessity of the institutional nature of research. In ongoing activity the plan of an object-sphere is, for the first time, built into whatever is. All adjustments that facilitate a plannable conjoining of types of methodology, that further the reciprocal checking and communication of results, and that regulate the exchange of talents are measures that are by no means only the external consequences of the fact that research work is expanding and proliferating. Rather, research work becomes the distant sign, still far from being understood, that modern science is beginning to enter upon the decisive phase of its history. Only now is it beginning to take possession of its own complete essence.
What is taking place in this extending and consolidating of the institutional character of the sciences? Nothing less than the making secure of the precedence of methodology over whatever is (nature and history), which at any given time becomes objective in research. On the foundation of their character as ongoing activity, the sciences are creating for themselves the solidarity and unity appropriate to them. Therefore historiographical or archeological research that is carried forward in an institutionalized way is essentially closer to research in physics that is similarly organized than it is to a discipline belonging to its own faculty in the humanistic sciences that still remains mired in mere erudition. Hence the decisive development of the modern character of science as ongoing activity also forms men of a different stamp. The scholar disappears. He is succeeded by the research man who is engaged in research projects. These, rather than the cultivating of erudition, lend to his work its atmosphere of incisiveness. The research man no longer needs a library at home. Moreover, he is constantly on the move. He negotiates at meetings and collects information at congresses. He contracts for commissions with publishers. The latter now determines along with him which books must be written (Appendix 3).
The research worker necessarily presses forward of himself into the sphere characteristic of the technologist in the essential sense. Only in this way is he capable of acting effectively, and only thus, after the manner of his age, is he real. Alongside him, the increasingly thin and empty Romanticism of scholarship and the university will still be able to persist for some time in a few places. However, the effective unity characteristic of the university, and hence the latter's reality, does not lie in some intellectual power belonging to an original unification of the sciences and emanating from the university because nourished by it and preserved in it. The university is real as an orderly establishment that, in a form still unique because it is administratively self-contained, makes possible and visible the striving apart of the sciences into the particularization and peculiar unity that belong to ongoing activity. Because the forces intrinsic to the essence of modern science come immediately and unequivocally to effective working in ongoing activity, therefore, also, it is only the spontaneous ongoing activities of research that can sketch out and establish the internal unity with other like activities that is commensurate with themselves.
The real system of science consists in a solidarity of procedure and attitude with respect to the objectification of whatever is - a solidarity that is brought about appropriately at any given time on the basis of planning. The excellence demanded of this system is not some contrived and rigid unity of the relationships among object-spheres, having to do with content, but is rather the greatest possible free, though regulated, flexibility in the shifting about and introducing of research apropos of the leading tasks at any given time. The more exclusively science individualizes itself with a view to the total carrying on and mastering of its work process, and the more realistically these ongoing activities are shifted into separate research institutes and professional schools, the more irresistibly do the sciences achieve the consummation of their modern essence. But the more unconditionally science and the man of research take seriously the modern form of their essence, the more unequivocally and the more immediately will they be able to offer themselves for the common good, and the more unreservedly too will they have to return to the public anonymity of all work useful to society.
Modern science simultaneously establishes itself and differentiates itself in its projections of specific object-spheres. These projection-plans are developed by means of a corresponding methodology, which is made secure through rigor. Methodology adapts and establishes itself at any given time in ongoing activity. Projection and rigor, methodology and ongoing activity, mutually requiring one another, constitute the essence of modern science, transform science into research.
We are reflecting on the essence of modern science in order that we may apprehend in it its metaphysical ground What understanding of what is and what concept of truth provide the basis for the fact that science is being transformed into research?
Knowing, as research, calls whatever is to account with regard to the way in which and the extent to which it lets itself be put at the disposal of representation. Research has disposal over anything that is when it can either calculate it in its future course in advance or verify a calculation about it as past. Nature, in being calculated in advance, and history, in being historiographically verified as past, become, as it were, "set in place" [gestellt]. Nature and history become the objects of a representing that explains. Such representing counts on nature and takes account of history. Only that which becomes object in this way is - is considered to be in being. We first arrive at science as research when the Being of whatever is, is sought in such objectiveness.
This objectifying of whatever is, is accomplished in a setting-before, a representing, that aims at bringing each particular being before it in such a way that man who calculates can be sure, and that means be certain, of that being. We first arrive at science as research when and only when truth has been transformed into the certainty of representation. What it is to be is for the first time defined as the objectiveness of representing, and truth is first defined as the certainty of representing, in the metaphysics of Descartes. The title of Descartes's principal work reads: Meditationes de prima philosophia [Meditations on First Philosophy]. Prote philosophia is the designation coined by Aristotle for what is later called metaphysics. The whole of modern metaphysics taken together, Nietzsche included, maintains itself within the interpretation of what it is to be and of truth that was prepared by Descartes (Appendix 4).
Now if science as research is an essential phenomenon of the modern age, it must be that that which constitutes the metaphysical ground of research determines first and long beforehand the essence of that age generally. The essence of the modern age can be seen in the fact that man frees himself from the bonds of the Middle Ages in freeing himself to himself. But this correct characterization remains, nevertheless, superficial. It leads to those errors that prevent us from comprehending the essential foundation of the modern age and, from there, judging the scope of the age's essence. Certainly the modern age has, as a consequence of the liberation of man, introduced subjectivism and individualism. But it remains just as certain that no age before this one has produced a comparable objectivism and that in no age before this has the non-individual, in the form of the collective, come to acceptance as having worth. Essential here is the necessary interplay between subjectivism and objectivism. It is precisely this reciprocal conditioning of one by the other that points back to events more profound.
[*1. "Reflection" translates Besinnung. On the meaning of the latter, see SR 155 n. 1. "'Essence" will be the translation of the noun Wesen in most instances of its occurrence in this essay. Occasionally the translation "coming to presence" will be used. Wesen must always be understood to allude, for Heidegger, not to any mere "whatness," but to the manner in which anything, as what it is, takes its course and "holds sway" in its ongoing presence, i.e., the manner in which it endures in its presencing. See QT 30, 3 n. 1. "What is" renders the present participle seiend used as a noun, das Seiende. On the translation of the latter, see T 40 n. 6.
*2. der Grund seines Wesensgestalt. Heidegger exemplifies the statement that he makes here in his discussion of the metaphysics of Descartes as providing the necessary interpretive ground for the manner in which, in the subjectness of man as self-conscious subject, Being and all that is and man - in their immediate and indissoluble relation - come to presence in the modern age. See Appendix 9, pp. 150 ff.
*4. Erlebnis, translated here as "subjective experience" and later as "life-experience," is a term much used by life philosophers such as Dilthey and generally connotes adventure and event. It is employed somewhat pejoratively here. The term Erfahrung, which is regularly translated in this volume as "experience," connotes discovery and learning, and also suffering and undergoing. Here and subsequently (i.e., "mere religious experience"), "mere" is inserted to maintain the distinction between Erlebnis and Erfahrung.
*5. Entgotterung, here inadequately rendered as "loss of the gods," actually means something more like "degodization".
*6. Grundriss. The verb reissen means to tear, to rend, to sketch, to design, and the noun Riss means tear, gap, outline. Hence the noun Grundiss, first sketch, ground plan, design, connotes a fundamental sketching out that is an opening up as well.
*7. "Binding adherence" here translates the noun Bindung. The noun could also be rendered "obligation." It could thus be said that rigor is the obligation to remain within the realm opened up.
*10. “Ongoing activity” is the rendering of Betrieb, which is difficult to translate adequately. It means the act of driving on, or industry, activity, as well as undertaking, pursuit, business. It can also mean management, or workshop or factory.]
To be continued...

Hi! I’m 14f. I do not have Tourette’s syndrome but I figured this sub is the best place to ask about this. For some background info, I started to have anxiety tics back towards the summer going into 6th grade. Stuff like neck jerking, arm moving, blinking, etc. I don’t remember them that well as I have a lot of repressed trauma from the specific period I had them, but they lasted for a good year and then faded away towards the summer of 7th grade. Tourette’s and tic disorders are common in my family and my brother has Tourette’s.
About 2 weeks ago, I started to notice me doing a tic I used to have back when I was a kid and from there it got worse. It stared to be something I thought about really often which obviously made it worse. None of it affects me that much and it’s very very mild, thankfully the few motor tics I have aren’t noticeable at all besides blinking, but I’ve been struggling a lot with figuring out why my tics are back and I almost feel like I’m invalid and I’m doing it all for attention even though I’m not.
Overall, this month has been one of the least stressful months I’ve had, but for some reason my tics came back now even though my anxiety and depression are very low right now. My tics are not sudden, and I am able to supress them. It almost feels like a burning or itching sensation like I have an urge to do it but it’s mild enough where I can stop myself, it is uncomfortable though.
when I have them, they last for about 10 seconds. For example, I close my eyes and roll them around and I’ll have to turn around or cover my eyes when this happens because it’s obvious. I also usually only get these tics when I am anxious or worried about something, example today I had a presentation in science and started ticking, and especially when I think about it, which I’ve been doing a lot.
I almost feel invalid and stupid because of this. I supress literally whenever I can, even when I’m alone because I feel like my tics aren’t real and I’m stupid because I can control and supress them and there’s no name disorder for this. I feel so so bad because I don’t want my tics to get bad again like they were when I was younger and make it seem like I’m trying to take attention away from my brother who actually has Tourette’s. It’s like a part of my brain is telling me I’m making it all up even though it’s real.
Could anyone who is educated on tic disorders and tics maybe give me an explanation or reassurance and tell me if this is real or not? It’s starting to really bother me.

Hello, this is my first actual post in this subreddit and I'm not that good at writing so I would appreciate any feedback :)
Also this post is kinda long so I made the topics start with bold text so it becomes easier to navigate.
First things first: The collab idea is about the Battle Cats, However unlike what is the more possible to occur (Limbus/Project Moon stuff in Battle Cats) I had the idea of a Battle Cats in Limbus Collab, So I guess I have to also explain what the Battle Cats is to anyone here who doesn't know about it
Battle Cats Short Explanation (B.C.S.E):
If you already know about Battle Cats then I guess you can skip this part :)
The Battle Cats (I'll call it BC btw) is a Japanese Gacha game that might be one of the oldest ones around and still kicking (iirc over ten years old) the game itself is a strategy "Tower Defense" game where you need to defend your tower by spawning Cat Units from it that go from your tower to the Enemies' tower and reduce its HP to 0, note that there is only one lane, so the gameplay generally consists of: put needed Units when needed, and use the Tower's laser when needed.
The gameplay, while it starts kind of slow, gets more difficult the more you go in the game, and the grinding, while it can get tedious, is tolerable when you know what you're doing (upgrading and evolving Units is permanent, so if you upgraded something for a purpose, it will most likely be used again depending on the levels and be the reason you win said levels).
The game also has a lot of collabs with other stuff, some notable examles: Evangelion, Madoka Magica, Ranma1/2, Street Fighter, PPAP and a lot more ( link to collabs list in case you wanted to see them: Them Collabs , some of them even have good music) This is also the reason why I thought of this collab.
While it is a Gacha game, and playing it daily to get all rewards is generally advisable, the game isn't that punishing when you don't collect said rewards, considering most events are on a Cycle so you can just wait until it returns (other than collabs and anniversary events, which generally give very good rewards).
You can watch videos if you want to know more, considering this was supposed to be short.
Now onto next topic:
How does it fit in Limbus?
We still don't know the full capabilities of the mirror tech, so let's just say anything is possible for the sake of my sanity :)
Unlike anyone here's ideas for collabs (Arknights and co) Battle Cats is quite... Silly, so it would be kind of difficult to make anything for it in Limbus, HOWEVER the game, while Silly, also has one thing that can fit well in Limbus (if we exclude collabs and Gacha events):
The Cyclones.
Here is the wiki page for Them Cyclones in case you wanted to know more about them :)
While there are many other enemies and Units, I find the Cyclones' design to be perfect for a collab between Battle cats and Limbus.
The Cyclones are Bosses mainly fought in two ways: their main stage, and their Revenge stages.
The Revenge stages are harder versions that get unlocked after beating the main stage with the first having limitations and the second having different and stronger Enemies to support the Cyclones.
Now before introducing the Cyclones and how they would work here in Limbus:
How would the stages be integrated to the game?
The stages would have two difficulties, similarly to most events, so in total it would have 22 stages ( two for each Cyclone), The difficulties would be Normal; the normal battle, gives an E.G.O after it is won, E.G.O grade is different depending on the Cyclone's "Fighting stage" (aka when it is advised to fight the Cyclones, TETH for Early, HE for Mid-Game and WAW for Late-Game Cyclones) E.G.O Drop rate isn't 100% however, it starts lower, let's say 25%, You can increase the chance to get the E.G.O by either replaying the Normal stage of the Cyclone, or beating the Revenge stage to instantly get the E.G.O (so 25% for Normal first victory, increases by 20% for every Normal victory on the same level, and 100% on Revenge stages if you don't want to grind the Normal ones).
The E.G.Os' skills would all have the same name; "Eye Of The Storm", and their passives would have the names of the stages (for example; Crimson Catastrophe for the Red Cyclone, I'm sure there are better ideas out there though).
I'm bad at drawing so I can't give artistic representations for the E.G.Os, but I feel like they would look cool if they had the Eye in the middle of their body in the awakening skills but the Eye becomes in the middle of their head in the Corrosion skills, again if you have better ideas comment them or draw them I'd love to see them :)
Also yes that would mean only 11 sinners out of 12 get the E.G.Os and honestly I don't know a good way to fix this problem, if you have an idea please comment it, maybe a single E.G.O Gacha event or something like that?
And now, finally, onto the most tiring of the topics (I don't post a lot, I mainly comment):
The Cyclones, Their Boss Fights, And Obtainable E.G.Os:
I will provide an Image of the Cyclones as I talk about them so you get an image of how they look :)
1. The Red Cyclone (Early):
Yes the Red enemies in BC are kinda orange sometimes
The first Cyclone, its mechanics consist of Bleed and increasing abilities/damage/coins depending on said Bleed, it doesn't really have much to it in BC other than its Damage, so I gave it Bleed because haha Red.
The one to get the E.G.O is Ryoshu, mainly because the Cyclone is known for its high damage, and Ryoshu is also known for her highly damaging attacks, similarly to the Cyclone the E.G.O would have a Bleed kit.
2. The White Cyclone (Early):
Every BC veteran knows this bozo is floating
The Second Cyclone (at least in the wiki), its mechanics consist of good clashing and buffing itself depending on the skill used, it also doesn't have much going for it in BC, but from my experience with it, it got some good pushing power, mainly due to it only having one trait (Floating) and being quite early in the game so you don't have many things good against it, the buffing comes from it having annoying support in BC.
The one to get the E.G.O here is Yi sang, mainly because he reminds me of this Cyclone, yeah that's it, his kit would be good clashing power and buffs to allies and himself.
3. The Black Cyclone (Early):
This and the Red one were the easiest imo
The Third Cyclone, its mechanics consist of Bind and Tremor, the Bind is because it has the ability to Knock Back your Units in BC with a 20% chance so it effectively makes them slower, though it wouldn't be that big, and I feel like Tremor fits it for some reason.
The one to get its E.G.O is Sinclair, Maybe because he sometimes feels he's a burden on the gang (or used to feel, he gettin better, mama Ryoshu is teaching him well) so he "Knocks them Back", his kit is, just like the Cyclone, is Bind and Tremor.
4. The Metal Cyclone (Mid-Game):
Finally, the interesting ones start
The Fourth Cyclone, its Mechanics would be kinda hellish and PTSD inducing to RR2 veterans, you see, in BC metal enemies only get 1 damage, unless it's a critical attack, in which case the metal entity receives 100% of the attack (including the critical modifier), so this boss in Limbus would have high resistance to all types of attacks, other than Critical attacks, which it would be fatal to, and to make it more possible to win the fight with any team the boss would have a passive that gives 1 poise count for every clash win and 1 potency for every non-Critical attack the sinner lands on it, it would be a chore but very possible, also the boss also gains 1 poise count for every clash it wins and 1 potency for every attack it lands, also it gains poise count and potency from its skills.
If you don't have any poise IDs then you can use a support ID to get the job done, again the attacks become FATAL to it on Crits, so even one ID that can constantly Crit is fine.
Of course, Meursault gets the metal E.G.O, its kit is basically gives him high aggro, 10 protections, and some poise, however it has downsides, mainly that it slows him down a lot and, just like the boss, his passive makes Critical attacks Fatal against him.
5. The Divine Cyclone (Mid-Game):
Sanzo carry :)
The Fifth Cyclone, its mechanics would be similar to The White Cyclone (above-average clashing power and small buffs), but also has a multitude of Debuffs it inflicts on the sinners, specially attack and defense Debuffs.
Don gets its E.G.O, mainly because Angels are supposed to be good and all that, also kinda yellow, its kit would be Decent clashing, Sanity gain, attack and defense Debuffs.
6. The Cosmic Cyclone (Mid-Game):
Yes, Alien is a trait in BC, cool design though
The Sixth Cyclone, its mechanics consist of generally higher speed than other Cyclones (it has higher reach in BC so Higher speed in Limbus allows it to hit sinners more freely) and a permanent buff it gains after a percentage of HP is lost.
Hong Lu gets its E.G.O, mainly because he is "alien" to our group in the way of him originating from a rich family (actual family not adopted) so he kinda says things our sinners don't really understand, his kit is gaining Haste and dealing very high damage, deals even more damage if he lost a percentage of HP.
7. The Perfect Cyclone (Mid-Game):
Yes I also thought that a \"perfect\" Cyclone would be a fusion of the others, maybe later
The Seventh Cyclone, its Mechanics would be having Unclashable skills (mainly because it has really high range, but a blindspot that can be used to attack it) that deal generally low damage but can be devastating if left unchecked, its clashable skills deal higher damage and can bind Units though.
Of course, Faust gets its E.G.O because of how she can think of herself (or the Faust network) to be perfect, the Awakening skill has high coin power and can bind, the Corrosion skill on the other hand, is Unclashable but can inflict paralyze this and next turn, while also dealing high damage.
8. Zyclone (Late Mid-Game, so it can be a WAW):
Probably my favorite design, the moving eye I guess
The Eighth Cyclone, his mechanics would consist of simply Rupture, and always reviving when dying.
Explanation: in BC most Zombie enemies have the ability to revive, this guy is one of the few that can infinitely revive, unless you use a Unit with Zombie Killer which would not allow it to revive, note that Zombies become in a Corpse state after dying which in BC can not be normally hit unless with another special ability (you can visit the wiki for more info).
The reviving in Limbus would be similar, but after dying, it becomes a corpse that you need to kill in the same turn (turn after first killing him) and after a turn, if the corpse was not destroyed it revives, basically a DPS check, but the corpse's HP would be set to only 500, and it would be Weak to all attack types (Slash, Pierce and Blunt) so having at least 5 of your sinners hit it with a skill2 or an E.G.O that can deal 100 damage (which is common) is enough, and even then, unlike in BC where it revives with 100% HP after a while from becoming a corpse, it only revives with 40% HP here to minimize the suffering and each revive reduces it by 10% until it starts reviving with only 1% HP, in which case you can probably kill him by breathing in his general direction.
The one to get his E.G.O is Heathcliff, mainly because purple, and Zombies in BC have a thing with returning (Burrowing under ground and returning up after moving a while, and returning from the dead) and Heath also has a thing with returning (returning to Cathy, and now returning Cathy) its kit would be Rupture support and the passive would be related to reviving, basically making Heath staggered and gain 50 HP when he gets hit with a killing blow, Enemies would still murder him if they deal about 50 damage to him here though.
Also while this guy doesn't burrow in BC, it would be cool if he did here, because he isn't limited to the game's rules in Limbus.
9. Super Cosmic Cyclone (Late-Game):
Quite the difficult fella if you're not ready
The Ninth Cyclone, its mechanics would consist of heavy Rupture and some Sinking, also gives itself Charge, with his special ability being that it immobilizes targets (yes, immobilize usage) that it hits, but it does not hit immobilized targets, and if every Sinner is immobilized it does a very strong AoE attack, this here is to mimic its ability from BC, which is warp, basically teleporting the Unit away (it won't attack, but also not be attacked until it teleports back to the field).
The sinner to get its E.G.O is Gregor, because he feels he is even more "Alien" than any one around him, barely thinking of himself as even human so I think the "Super Alien" fits him, its kit would be Charge, heavy Rupture applying, and some Sinking support, his Corrosion skill allows him to immobilize the targets he hits, but also staggers him next turn, making him useless for a turn.
10. Relic (Primeval) Cyclone (Late-Game):
You can probably guess the sinner just by its name :)
The Tenth Cyclone, its mechanics would be a special debuff only it (and its E.G.O) can inflict, Curse (or Relic Curse if there is already a debuff here called curse, I forget), similarly to BC, it would basically make the affected Entity unable to inflict any effect, mostly debuffs like Burn, Rupture, Tremor etc. also it would get a permanent buff after missing a percentage of HP.
The Curse can last for multiple turns depending on the count, and the Boss would have attacks that deal 0 damage but inflict Curse on targets.
The one to get its E.G.O is, of course, Outis, Because old, also because I feel like it fits, her earrings maybe? she just has its menacing aura I guess, its kit would be Curse, which works similarly to the Boss' Curse, Also dealing more damage based on missing HP.
11. Aku Cyclone (Late-Game):
Aku means Demon btw
The (Currently) Eleventh and Final Cyclone, its mechanics would consist of heavy Sinking application, and a special Shield that regenerates every amount of HP lost, the Shield HP would be its current HP to minimize the suffering that exists for it in BC (its Shield HP is always its max HP iirc), it would also have a check were, when passed can instantly break the Shield, simplifying the Boss.
The one to get its E.G.O is Ishmael, mainly because of her "Great Evil" stuff (its stage's name is "The Great Diablo" meaning the great demon, and demon can = evil I guess), its kit would be Sinking and giving Ishmael and some other allies a shield.
Final Words and Notes :
If you're reading this, thanks for reading this long post, I apologize for its large size but I had this Idea bottled in my cranium for a while now and the things to talk about just kept increasing.
If you have any feedback please comment it, I enjoy reading comments and if you have your own ideas, also comment them, I'd like to know what you think.
Some notes:

• The Bosses' difficulty will increase the higher you go in their number, so the Red Cyclone is the easiest while the Aku Cyclone is the hardest.
  
• As you may have noticed, Rodya didn't get an E.G.O, I'm unsure what to give her, maybe she gets an ID based on a Unit in BC or a Cyclone?
  
• The reason why I haven't mentioned specific stats is because this post is long enough, and I'm bad at math.
  
• The bosses would have a mix of Blunt and Slash attacks, with some have a few Pierce attacks (Like Zyclone).
  
• The bosses will have different attack patterns than in BC, for example Zyclone will burrow and stab the sinners from underground, Primeval Cyclone will shoot a wide wave that inflicts Curse with its eye, Aku Cyclone will cause Surges (type of attack in BC, see Here) to appear etc.
  

Apologies if the formatting is weird or bad, this is my first actual Text post in Reddit, I mostly just comment, also I'm thinking of making a post about how the sinners would translate into BC as Units but currently I have exams coming in the next weeks so at a later time hopefully.
:)

Hi there! We just wrapped up our wedding last weekend and I found this community super helpful when I was researching and planning my own wedding. I'm sharing this breakdown in hopes that I can give back to the group via some information sharing! I'm modeling this post after another super helpful budget breakdown post I saw a few weeks ago. Feel free to AMA in the comments - though I'm heading out on our honeymoon in two days and may be slow to reply while we're gone! :)

What is NOT included in the breakdown:

Engagement ring, wedding bands, honeymoon, bachelor & bachelorette parties. And the following things were covered by our parents as a gift: rehearsal dinner ($700 + tip for 30 people at Peking Restaurant), hotel stay (~$500 for 2 nights at Infinity Hotel), after party (~$300 + tip for 25 people at Campus Bar in the Marina)

The breakdown:

Expense	Cost	Vendor	Notes
All-Inclusive Elite Package for 90 guests	$31,353.77	Wedgewood Weddings	Included Ceremony + Reception Venue Booking, Invitations, Cake Cutting Set, DJ, Catering, Set Up/Breakdown, Open Bar, Linens, Table Settings, Cake, Floral Centerpieces, Sweetheart Table Florals, plus bonus decor they provided (votives, easels, table stands)
Additional Florals (Centerpieces & Sweetheart Table included in above line item)	$2,865.15	Angella Floral Design (WW Vendor)	Arch Florals, 1 large Bride Bouquet, 6 Bridesmaid Bouquets, Aisle Petals, Large Welcome Table Floral, Floral arrangement for base of sign
Bistro Lights and Draping	$3,310.00	Brown A/V (WW Vendor)
Photo & Video	$4,000.00	Gala Photo & Films	8 hours of photo and video, We had two photographers & 1 videographer. Includes a 3-5 min highlight reel, 30-45 min documentary style video, 500-700 edited photos, and an engagement shoot. Marc and Gia were amazing through this entire process, and I 100% recommend their team.
Save the Dates	$40.00	Canva + USPS
Boba Cart	$1,308.00	Boba Passion	Two hours of boba bar serving time (fully staffed) and a really cute boba bar cart. Sharlene and Lowell were so sweet to work with, and had a really great tasting process so that I could build my boba menu. This was a huge hit with the guests!
Misc Decor	$678.08	Etsy & Amazon	Match Bottle Favors, Seating Chart, Guest Book, Card Box, Flower Girl Baskets, Dried Florals for Table Setting, Welcome Mirror, Blankets for Guests
Donuts & Egg Tarts	$302	Dynamo Donuts & AA Bakery	Cake was included in our package, but we also ordered donuts for our vegan guests and egg tarts for our older Chinese guests. We ordered for pick up and had a family member pick up & drop off to the venue. The venue graciously provided dessert table decor (stands, donut wall holder)
Suit	$3,000	Tailor's Keep	My partner really wanted to splurge on his suit, especially because he works in finance and will have plenty of opportunities to rewear it. He got a fully custom-made suit + shirt made by the SF location of Tailor's Keep and absolutely loved the process. Definitely a splurge though!
Wedding Dress	$1,400	Blue Sky Bridal	A beautiful secondhand Louvienne Theo dress (it had pockets!) which originally retailed for close to $3K. Highly recommend Blue Sky Bridal for an amazing selection of secondhand and sample (basically new!) dresses. It was great to be able to shop "second hand" and still have a boutique-like shopping experience. All of the dresses are in amazing condition and well-taken care of.
Dress Alterations	$589.23	Le Caprice	I had my dress hemmed (had a few layers), buttons added down the back, bust adjusted to fit better, straps shortened, added a bustle, and cups put in. They also pressed my dress before pick up.
Cathedral Veil	$327.38	Le Caprice	I ordered a cheap one off of Azazie and absolutely hated how it looked/laid, so splurged for a nicer one from Le Caprice. If I had to do it again, I probably would've spent more time looking for a more affordable veil.
Hair & Make Up (Bride)	$680	Joyce Zhou Designs	Joyce was super sweet and knew exactly how to work with my Asian features. My hair held through 16MPH SF winds the day of the ceremony, which I was so grateful for! This also included a 15 minute hair & make up session for the groom.
Hair & Make Up (Trial)	$380	Joyce Zhou Designs
Hair & Make Up (Partial for Bridesmaids & Family)	$1,370	Joyce Zhou Designs	It was $230 for both hair & make up per bridesmaid, and $130 if you only did one service. We covered the full cost for our family members and $130 per bridesmaid. This total includes the full cost of single service for MOG & Best Person ($130 each), full cost of hair and make up for MOB and MOH ($230 each), and then 5 additional bridesmaids. They did services for 9 people, plus myself and my partner.
Groomsmen Suits	$1,500	SuitSupply	We contributed $500 per groomsmen for them to buy a custom suit from SuitSupply. The suits turned out great and now all of our groomsmen have something they can rewear in the future!
Bridesmaid Dresses	$643.13	Azazie	I let my bridesmaids choose the style of their dresses, and then waited for a Black Friday sale to order them. We covered the cost of the dresses.
Lion Dancers	$700	Leung's White Crane Association	We paid $700 which included 2 lions for a 15-20 minute performance that included benches + scrolls.
String Quartet	$1,170	SF Conservatory of Music	Hands down one of the best last minute decisions we made. The guests loved it, it made the ceremony music extra special, and it didn't cost and arm & a leg since we went through the SFCM. Someone on this Reddit thread suggested them and I could not be more grateful!
Tips	$990	-	There was a 22% service charge included with our WW bill, but we felt that many of our vendors went above and beyond so we tipped them. We gave $150 to our DJ, $100 to our coordinator, $350 to our photo/video team, and I can't remember the exact dollar amounts but also tipped 4 servers, a banquet captain, hair & make up, and the string quartet.

Wedgewood Experience

We went back and forth when booking our venue because we had heard really mixed reviews about Wedgewood Weddings. At the end of the day, my partner and I didn't have a strong preference regarding our vendors and our top priority was to have a stress-free and painless wedding planning process. Since we didn't have a "vision" for the big day, Wedgewood was absolutely perfect for us. Their planning process is well structured, organized, and saved us the headache of having to vet, source, and coordinate with our own vendors. And, because they turn over weddings on a regular basis there were so many things that they provided that we didn't need to purchase because they just have on hand for each wedding. For example, they had a cake stand, ceremony arch (those are expensive to rent!), easels for our signs, table numbers (we opted to use our own) and table number holders.
We did the Elite package (the top tier) which included almost everything we needed for the day, and then worked with our Wedgewood coordinators to make actual selections regarding menu, design/decor, and all of that fun stuff. All of the vendors we booked through Wedgewood were amazing (DJ, florist, cake, open bar, etc.) and we got really great feedback on the food as well which was probably the strongest unknown for us (we did a buffet with salads, rice pilaf, panko chicken, five cheese tortellini, and a prime rib carving station).
The coordinator was also able to handle a lot of other things the day of like tip distribution, setting up all of our personal decor, managing our timeline, and even coordinated with a few of our outside vendors (lion dancers, boba bar, photo/video, and string quartet). Their services were so comprehensive we absolutely didn't need any outside coordination services. Our day of coordinator was AMAZING and I really appreciated how on top of things he was. We had a snafu where our lion dancers were double booked (!) and 40 minutes late to our grand entrance, and our coordinator finessed our timeline and worked with the DJ to make sure the switch up was seamless. The guests didn't notice that anything had gone wrong, and it was so nice that we didn't have to worry about it ourselves.
Re: The Log Cabin specifically - We thought the venue was the perfect size for a wedding of 90 people or smaller. It was perfectly warm, cozy and intimate which is what we wanted. The outdoor ceremony area has an amazing peekaboo view of the Golden Gate Bridge, and Karl the Fog cooperated so that we could have the perfect backdrop to our ceremony. I know when I was reviewing venues, one of the concerns someone else had raised about The Log Cabin was that it is just over the freeway (where cars enter the GGB) and that there's a softball field nearby that makes parking difficult. We didn't have issues with either -- no one even noticed that the freeway was there, and the A/V system made it so it wasn't an issue even if there was any freeway noise. Our package included a parking lot buy out so parking was a breeze and it also included a security guard to ensure no one random strolled onto the property.

Areas for Cost Savings

• Wedding Party: We covered a lot of things for our wedding party because it was within our means and we wanted to show our appreciation for them. In lieu of wedding party gifts, we covered half the bridesmaids hair & make up services (and made the other half optional), subsidized the groomsmen suits, and paid for the bridesmaid dresses. This is definitely something that would have saved us several thousand dollars if we hadn't, and I think our wedding party would have been totally fine if we hadn't.
• Lights: Bistro lights and draping made for amazing photos, but this was definitely a nice to have and not a need to have.
• Party favors: Honestly, I had read so many comments about not doing them because most people leave them behind. We did custom match bottles and small dried floral magnets, and most of them got left behind. However, we went into it knowing that it might be the case but decided to still move forward because we thought it would add a nice look to the table scape. There were a few people who were extremely sentimental and thrilled to have the favors to bring home. We'll see how they look in photos once the detail pics come in. :) If you're looking for an area to cut costs though, ABSOLUTELy skip the favors.
• Wedding Dress: I definitely could have found a more affordable wedding dress via David's Bridal, Brides for a Cause, or even at Blue Sky Bridal (there were plenty of options <$1000) but I ended up falling in love with my dress. If you're on a budget, definitely stick to trying on dresses within that range or you might risk getting attached to something out of budget. I didn't want to spend $1400 on my dress, but made the mistake of pulling it off the rack without checking the price tag. I was lucky enough to be able to afford it, but would have been heartbroken if I couldn't.
• Groom's Suit: Honestly, Tailor's Keep was such a splurge but my now husband was SO SO happy with the process. I think if you're not someone who wears suits a lot, or just doesn't have a need for that nice of a suit you could rent to save $. Or if you want to get a nice custom suit that doesn't break the bank, SuitSupply did an amazing job with our groomsmen suits and had plenty of options in the $500-800 range.
• Veil: I splurged on my veil (~$300) and this is probably my biggest regret. You only wear it for the ceremony - and my ceremony was SO windy - and it honestly doesn't end up looking the way you think it will trailing behind you... unless you have a perfectly windless day. Most of my photos are without the veil, and I think they looked amazing without it. If I could do it over, I'd nix the veil and save myself a few hundred dollars.
• Extra Desserts: We had so much leftover dessert... at the end of the night most people are off at the bar, using the photo booth, or dancing. I feel like most of our guests either opted to skip or just totally forgot the desserts were there!

Hi all,
I collected avidly for a few years back in the 90's and moved on. I just now cracked the collection open and am teeing it all up to sell, they are cool but I just don't see myself ever getting back into it.
I already have everything worth grading ready to be shipped to CGC. My question for this community is perspective in selling lower values books in groups versus singles. A good example is I have quite a few issues of Amazing Spiderman vol 1 from the 125-190 range in mediocre conditon and I am wondering if people would sell those by themselves or group up the dozen or so books and try to sell it like that? I feel like they are mostly 5-10 dollar books and I just don't want too much headache.
I appreciate any input. Thanks!

Hi guys, I’ve (21F) been lurking/commenting on this thread but never made a post, and with where I am in my relationships with my parents, I feel it’d be super helpful for me to just talk before I send a NC letter.
Growing up, when I was very young, life was fine, and life was happy. I remember my dad making a concerted effort to stop drinking beer, which he did successfully. Our house was clean. We were happy. Nothing had really set in yet. If anything was going on, like arguments or anything, my parents must have hid it very, very well.
As I got older (not MUCH older - 3rd/4th grade?) our home became a hoarding mess. Mom just decided that she was the only one trying to keep the house clean and stopped one day. I cannot even remember the switch, quite honestly. She gradually started to collect and say, “Well I think I could make something out of this!” Or try to MacGyver something. Both of my parents contributed to this problem because they both JUST HAD SO MUCH STUFF. My dad took over the garage/outside, and my mom basically let indoors just go wild. I was very resentful as a middle schoolehigh schooler because I was never allowed to have anyone over. In some ways, I still am.
Even more mind-boggling to me is knowing the state your home is in, knowing you don’t allow your child to have anyone over ever, and continuing to DEMAND for me to come home. This is obviously a very abridged version of my childhood but the attempts to control me genuinely made me feel like I had just shit my pants and was so scared. Post high school graduation, the last “summer” you ever truly have, I had joined into a great friend group with some kids I had gone to school with and some I hadn’t, but they all worked at the same place together. I was the only one that didn’t, but fuck em, not related LOL.
I’d hang out with these kids practically every day I didn’t have work. I didn’t want to be home and would take every possible reason to leave. TO BE CLEAR: At this time, I was 17 almost 18, C/O 2020 which is a whole other can of worms, and EMPLOYED and enrolled in college. I literally dropped out of college because I could not focus in their home and the mess made Zooms mortifying. But I’m sure that wouldn’t be their fault either. I went to the beach with my friends, my dad told me not to but why? Why not? He did not like my best friend (who, ironically, is still in my life and he is not). My parents FLIPPED their shit. I was buying my own groceries, sending THEM money when they needed it, had my own phone bill, yet they were attempting to track me and CONTROLLING me for NO reason?
Side note: Parents would NOT allow me to get my license when I was 16/17. They deemed me “too irresponsible.” 🙂 The turmoil this created in me as no one could come over, and no, you can’t drive anywhere either. If you want to leave, someone has to take you away from here. It was a horrendous feeling and I do have a hard time forgiving them for it. There is no reason they could give me to justify it.
Shortly after this period in my life, probably a year or so later, I started dating my current BF. BF is from my hometown. It’s a small town where most people, especially people that have been there a while, know everyone else. Our parents know each other. BF lived less than 5 minutes from our house. I stayed over at their house one night, now ~19F, and I wake up (in the middle of the night) to my dad shouting at me to come home and he “can’t believe this.” Me, with license but no car (also a whole other can of worms), had to WAKE my boyfriend up and ask him to take me home at 3 in the morning. For fucking what? So they can have some control over the situation? I often regret not asking them “Why?”
Those two situations are very select but it was a constant between ages 16-19. Junior year of high school, my dad had an affair with a crackhead and moved out. It was a whole shit show and my mom suddenly became very open about her sex life and told me about a one night stand she had and how much she liked him….while also constantly bawling over my dad. I know she was going through something, the hardest thing your partner can do in a relationship, my dad did. The whole time period makes me feel yucky. Like I did something wrong. I just heard too much.
My parents are big arguers, and co-dependent on one another. From 13-19, I felt pretty responsible for their relationship. My sister is 5 years older so she was out of the house already when most of this was happening. My parents would stick me in the middle of whatever argument they were having and use me as a middleman/mediator. A TEENAGER. I eventually realized that they were putting me in a lose-lose-lose situation. If I think Mom’s right, Dad will be mad at me; if I think Dad’s right, Mom will be mad at me; if I don’t give a response at all, they’re BOTH mad at me! I took the latter more often than not, and I also just stopped caring. In my NC letter, a line I have written is “How am I supposed to emotionally regulate my parents when I have no idea how to even regulate mine? And haven’t been shown an example of how to?”
My dad got cancer about two years after that, and another year later he was in remission. In 2021, I moved across the country for a seasonal job in Colorado. It was clean, it was peaceful, I could go wherever I wanted, and I didn’t have to tell them. I talked to them maybe once over the 6 months I was there. Then I had to move back in with them. It was horrendous and I never wanted to return back. I went to BF’s house every. single. night. I didn’t want to be with them. I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand hanging out in their mess. I lived there, though, for a year, saving up money to move back across the country. BF and I did it a year ago. I have only talked to them once in this past year. In the one time, they threatened a wellness check.
Over this past year, BF’s dad would occasionally ask/tell me my dad wanted me to call him. It would always give me that same “I’m gonna shit myself” feeling. I guess I know the term “flying monkey” now but I don’t really think that fits BF’s dad. He usually is just trying to help. It never really escalated more than that. More recently, though, my dad called BF’s dad 3+ times until he answered. I truthfully have no idea what he said to BF’s parents but BF’s mom told me he sounded “heartbroken.” After we got off the phone, I told BF I think my dad is getting to them, and I need to shut this shit down ASAP because that is an insane boundary for me.
Side, side note: I was working 40+ hours a week, dad sick, mom unemployed, and they’d go gamble almost every night. A lot of mornings, they would still be gone by the time I got up and left for work. We were also broke, and they asked me for money for my car insurance…THAT WASN’T PAID.
This is mainly for ranting/making some sense of things, but I do have questions if anyone has been in a boat like this. How do I handle relationships I want to keep within the family? Because my parents are the only ones I don’t want part of. I figure me not wanting my figurative children to be around them or in their house is the most tell-tale sign for that choice. How do I truly try to get this pain across to my BF? I don’t think he understands that this is something I will be dealing with for the rest of my life. He tells me to talk to my dad because if it was him, he’d be heartbroken. I tell him that he would never make the choices my dad did. But how do you explain to someone who has never really been in a situation like that? I love him, I know he’s not trying to stoke the fire and it’s not his fault he doesn’t know. Part of me is too embarrassed to tell him the full extent of it (hoarder house etc) because…it is embarrassing. But maybe that’s just the necessary answer.
I’ve been really grateful for this community and I can sleep so much better at night knowing I am not the only one going through this. Thank you guys so much 🥹
EDIT: How in the world do you avoid becoming the monster you’re running from? Sitting on a huge stash of self-awareness?

I've lived for more than two decades, but I still think my story that started from a nameless tiny town in China was like an unbelievable story filled with an unexplainable sense of asphyxiation. Maybe if you're a foreigner, you may lost your Orientalist illusion of a mysterious Eastern Country by reading this text. It's real life, the BLOODY life from the first view account of some really traumatized person.
I was born in an isolated town in China, where the society was semi-primitive (populated by several large clans in the surrounding villages). My parents were hyper-conservative and an absolute fit of Asian parent stereotypes: obsessed with over-education and hyper-paranoid. When I was young, I was forbidden to play with other kids in the community, for fear that I'd be run over by a car or be kidnapped. I've literally lost the critical period of learning how to deal with others, that's probably why I never learned how to socialize properly.
Just like stereotyped, they invested a ton in my education. I started to learn English even before I could speak Mandarin properly (despite my mom trying to speak Mandarin at home to reduce the influence of dialect on me, my speaking is still heavily influenced by dialect speakers since my environment has barely a Mandarin speaker).
My very first "memory" of this world is about kindergarten. I never appreciated it. Instead, I thought that life in Kindergarten was the first torment for me in my life. I still remember the dystopian and surreal architecture, being a repulsive conglomerate of artificially, unnatural colored Kindergarten compounds (based on the false assumption that kids love highly saturated, colorful things) surrounded by faded Soviet-style buildings with aluminum chimneys. After nearly 20 years I revisited my kindergarten and the nearly unchanged architecture reminded me about the reproduction facility that runs Bokanovsky's process in Huxley's book Brave New World. I saw the lawn where kids massacred ants and bugs by various means for fun.
Our family moved to a relatively bigger city before I was admitted to primary school. My entire time in primary school was filled with bullying and sarcasm. The first time I was bullied was when I lost my first deciduous tooth. Other pupils never know this process and regarded me as an outcast from the group. They even suspected me of having Down's syndrome and started calling me like that. One day when I was walking to the dorm after lunch I was assaulted by a group of pupils that I never knew their name. They grabbed me, hit me, and kicked me for no reason for 30 minutes.
Later I was bullied by other people for no reason and I thought it was because of that I was not strong enough (I have very bad strength and stamina for respiratory problems). I started to retaliate against them with the weapons of WWIV, namely sticks, and rocks. Until 9th grade, I always lived a life like in a warzone. I always need to constantly monitor my flank and my back in case someone will give my head a strong hit by a club. BTW if you think it's my own reason that I've been bullied then you're probably wrong; There were a few incidents in my school where students got fractured in fighting. Even large battles that involved dozens on each side are not uncommon.
I began to have symptoms of traumatization, like inexplicable fear, unable to focus, and frequent flashbacks. I murmured to myself to ease my nervousness and drew random patterns on textbooks and notebooks. My teachers began to question my parents for my misbehavior, and even the dean of my primary school physically assaulted me by kicking me in the butt (the reason for the incident was probably my dad sent me to a forbidden gate of the school). Later the teachers in my middle school even tried to isolate me and another heavily bullied student from other students. It's China, and the implicit rule is always punishing the victim instead of the perpetrator. They call it "stabilization" (维稳).
I never got any medical service on mental health. It's almost a forbidden topic in Chinese society. The first time in my life, when I got a psychologist, was when I studied in a foreign country. She said "kids can be cruel" after hearing about my traumatic stories.
Later the CCP began its massive traditionalist, ultra-nationalist propaganda movement. They tried to instill Confusian "Traditional culture"(传统文化) in schools. One day we were asked to show gratitude to our parents and teachers en masse after a "moving" speech by a renowned "tradition researcher". Many girls even cried. I don't know to whom, and for what should I show gratitude. Why they've chosen to give me life in this world? Had I a choice to terminate my life when I was born, just like Kappa by Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, I'd have it. Why don't have the choice? If it's not my free will to survive all such torments, why I should thank my family, my school, the country and the Mighty CCP?
After I got a phone (my parents restricted my internet access until my 7th grade for fearing my myopia to grow, in vain) I started to view uncensored content like the Tiananmen incident. During my middle school I also read books like 1984 and We by Yevgeny Zamyatin. I realized that we live in a living hell of totalitarianism and social Darwinism, but I have no escape.
In 2017-2019, China began to intensify censorship on internet content, including Anime and games which were almost the only way for me to survive. They also tried to indoctrinate one entire generation with anti-west, xenophobic, and ultranationalistic videos. I found out the Internet, previously a haven for me that could escape real life in virtual joy, was no longer safe. I saw people reposting the disgusting quotes and online comments that pro-ccp (we call them rabbit friends 兔友) people made. They regarded Taiwan and Hong Kong people as subhuman, and the Anglo-Saxon world as needing to be conquered by communism. I began to build up really bad view of this country's common people. If the victims of the nukes were not unguilty for their support of Japanese expansion, what about the Chinese?
Later, the isolation during COVID really aggravated my mental problems. I began self-harming, alcohol consumption, and even was pretty active in my sexual life for a certain period. I have been interested in history since 7th grade, and my favorite historian was Liu Zhongjing. I draw the conclusion that the doom(the prophecy of "the Deluge" 大洪水) was near.
Now I'm studying in a foreign land, but I still cannot get out of the flashbacks and trauma from my life in China. I still have flashbacks when I meet other students from China in the university. With the academical pressure, I'm barely surviving by psychological meds (luckily covered by my health provider) and alcohol.
​

I've lived for more than two decades, but I still think my story that started from a nameless tiny town in China was like an unbelievable story filled with an unexplainable sense of asphyxiation. Maybe if you're a foreigner, you may lost your Orientalist illusion of a mysterious Eastern Country by reading this text. It's real life, the BLOODY life from the first view account of some really traumatized person.
I was born in an isolated town in China, where the society was semi-primitive (populated by several large clans in the surrounding villages). My parents were hyper-conservative and an absolute fit of Asian parent stereotypes: obsessed with over-education and hyper-paranoid. When I was young, I was forbidden to play with other kids in the community, for fear that I'd be run over by a car or be kidnapped. I've literally lost the critical period of learning how to deal with others, that's probably why I never learned how to socialize properly.
Just like stereotyped, they invested a ton in my education. I started to learn English even before I could speak Mandarin properly (despite my mom trying to speak Mandarin at home to reduce the influence of dialect on me, my speaking is still heavily influenced by dialect speakers since my environment has barely a Mandarin speaker).
My very first "memory" of this world is about kindergarten. I never appreciated it. Instead, I thought that life in Kindergarten was the first torment for me in my life. I still remember the dystopian and surreal architecture, being a repulsive conglomerate of artificially, unnatural colored Kindergarten compounds (based on the false assumption that kids love highly saturated, colorful things) surrounded by faded Soviet-style buildings with aluminum chimneys. After nearly 20 years I revisited my kindergarten and the nearly unchanged architecture reminded me about the reproduction facility that runs Bokanovsky's process in Huxley's book Brave New World. I saw the lawn where kids massacred ants and bugs by various means for fun.
Our family moved to a relatively bigger city before I was admitted to primary school. My entire time in primary school was filled with bullying and sarcasm. The first time I was bullied was when I lost my first deciduous tooth. Other pupils never know this process and regarded me as an outcast from the group. They even suspected me of having Down's syndrome and started calling me like that. One day when I was walking to the dorm after lunch I was assaulted by a group of pupils that I never knew their name. They grabbed me, hit me, and kicked me for no reason for 30 minutes.
Later I was bullied by other people for no reason and I thought it was because of that I was not strong enough (I have very bad strength and stamina for respiratory problems). I started to retaliate against them with the weapons of WWIV, namely sticks, and rocks. Until 9th grade, I always lived a life like in a warzone. I always need to constantly monitor my flank and my back in case someone will give my head a strong hit by a club. BTW if you think it's my own reason that I've been bullied then you're probably wrong; There were a few incidents in my school where students got fractured in fighting. Even large battles that involved dozens on each side are not uncommon.
I began to have symptoms of traumatization, like inexplicable fear, unable to focus, and frequent flashbacks. I murmured to myself to ease my nervousness and drew random patterns on textbooks and notebooks. My teachers began to question my parents for my misbehavior, and even the dean of my primary school physically assaulted me by kicking me in the butt (the reason for the incident was probably my dad sent me to a forbidden gate of the school). Later the teachers in my middle school even tried to isolate me and another heavily bullied student from other students. It's China, and the implicit rule is always punishing the victim instead of the perpetrator. They call it "stabilization" (维稳).
I never got any medical service on mental health. It's almost a forbidden topic in Chinese society. The first time in my life, when I got a psychologist, was when I studied in a foreign country. She said "kids can be cruel" after hearing about my traumatic stories.
Later the CCP began its massive traditionalist, ultra-nationalist propaganda movement. They tried to instill Confusian "Traditional culture"(传统文化) in schools. One day we were asked to show gratitude to our parents and teachers en masse after a "moving" speech by a renowned "tradition researcher". Many girls even cried. I don't know to whom, and for what should I show gratitude. Why they've chosen to give me life in this world? Had I a choice to terminate my life when I was born, just like Kappa by Akutagawa Ryūnosuke, I'd have it. Why don't have the choice? If it's not my free will to survive all such torments, why I should thank my family, my school, the country and the Mighty CCP?
After I got a phone (my parents restricted my internet access until my 7th grade for fearing my myopia to grow, in vain) I started to view uncensored content like the Tiananmen incident. During my middle school I also read books like 1984 and We by Yevgeny Zamyatin. I realized that we live in a living hell of totalitarianism and social Darwinism, but I have no escape.
In 2017-2019, China began to intensify censorship on internet content, including Anime and games which were almost the only way for me to survive. They also tried to indoctrinate one entire generation with anti-west, xenophobic, and ultranationalistic videos. I found out the Internet, previously a haven for me that could escape real life in virtual joy, was no longer safe. I saw people reposting the disgusting quotes and online comments that pro-ccp (we call them rabbit friends 兔友) people made. They regarded Taiwan and Hong Kong people as subhuman, and the Anglo-Saxon world as needing to be conquered by communism. I began to build up really bad view of this country's common people. If the victims of the nukes were not unguilty for their support of Japanese expansion, what about the Chinese?
Later, the isolation during COVID really aggravated my mental problems. I began self-harming, alcohol consumption, and even was pretty active in my sexual life for a certain period. I have been interested in history since 7th grade, and my favorite historian was Liu Zhongjing. I draw the conclusion that the doom(the prophecy of "the Deluge" 大洪水) was near.
Now I'm studying in a foreign land, but I still cannot get out of the flashbacks and trauma from my life in China. I still have flashbacks when I meet other students from China in the university. With the academical pressure, I'm barely surviving by psychological meds (luckily covered by my health provider) and alcohol.
What do you think about my stories and my life in the perspective of a foreigner or an expat?

So to anyone who hasn't read my absolute mess of a first post. What I have set out to do is propose a massive update to dead by daylight with the main objective of spicing up the game and the second biggest objective of giving all survivors their own unique power and ability to make them distinct while also balancing the game to not make this stupidly broken. Is important to note that this is less about balance and what I think should actually be added and more so me rambling about some of the funny ideas I have this is why I will not be going into Pacific numbers i'll let each person reading this interpret the exact percentages and numbers they think would be balanced as again this is more so about creating fun ideas and inspiring other people.
Today I will just be giving extra abilities to the characters listed above. As I stated before their survivors will each be getting their own unique upsides and downsides to make them more distinct and interesting instead of having every survivor be almost exactly the same. And because the survivors are getting buffed massively so too should the killers.
The first idea I would like to throw out is something I honestly kind of want to see in dead by daylight, And that is a fifth perk slot for every survivor and killer however instead of being able to choose any park you can only choose for this 5th slot one of the Teachable perks that character has.
One thing before I continue, It may be a bit confusing but for the sake of balance I wish to propose a concept. This concept is that certain perks will be less Effective on certain killers or survivors because of their own natural abilities, When this happens and you are playing as this character hovering over this quirk this will be highlighted in red text showing you exactly how much the perk will be nerved for this specific character. For example Claudette is going To be able to heal faster than the average survivor So for balance perks that significantly increase healing speed will not be ineffective but will give less of a boost as to not make Builds that will give her an insanely fast healing speed.
But anyways on to the new abilities
Claudette
Healing proficiency Due to our knowledge of botany and healing she can perform all healing actions faster than the average survivor
Caring instinct Your intentions to Heal others Are profound and you will seek out the injured so you could aid them, Claudette can see the auras of injured survivors who are in her vicinity.
Special ability Botany Special plants will appear around the trial, When a plant is harvested after a Random amount of time a new plant will spawn in a new location. These plants and flowers Spawn most frequently in areas of short to tall grass. Mushrooms will also spawn in more indoor maps or in maps with lots of indoor locations however these mushrooms are far less easy to track down as they can spawn anywhere. Because of Claudette's Botany knowledge She knows what she's looking for, These plants will be very bright to her and she's the only one who can see them, When she walks up to these plants she can enter an animation to begin harvesting them this animation isn't too terribly long but also still significant. When these plants are collected if Claudette has a medkit that is missing charges these plants will refill a significant amount of the medkick's charges. If the medkit is full or Claudette does not have a med kit, Then the charges will either Accumulate in Claudette's inventory until a medkit does begin to deplete in which case it will automatically be refilled, Or if Claudette has enough of these charges She can perform the self healing action Without any perks or med kits that normally would be the only way for a survivor to do so. These charges can also be used to speed up the Process of healing deep wounds On both you and others survivors. Before you ask yes maps can be used to find these plants through walls so you're not running around like a headless chicken and yes this does mean You could have an infinite medkit as long as you are willing to sacrifice the time it takes to find and collect the plants.
Hyper focus When Claudette is performing a task Such as healing, repairing, Sabotaging and cleansing She loses focus of her surroundings and everything else. The killers terror radios will be significantly smaller for only Claudette while she's performing these actions And any ore reading perks or perks that tell you when the killer is Near will no longer work while you are performing these actions. Also while performing these actions the range of which you can look around is significantly decreased giving you significant blind spots the killer can exploit
Nemesis Now alongside with the bins containing the antidote to The T virus A new structure will appear beside it that survivors can interact with Which will be called supply stations Oh but these supplies are not for the Survivors. Drones will fly to these locations and leave behind black suitcases Nemesis can approach these suitcases pick them up and acquire a new weapon. Survivors by walking over to the screen can begin to hack it. Much like the singularities EMP crates a bar will slowly fill up when the survivors hack it the bar will decrease the more the bar is filled the longer survivors will have to take to fully decrease the bar the bar is always filling unless being hacked. Once the bar is filled The drones will fly in depositing the weapon the survivors are unable to do anything now and the killer is able to receive this weapon whenever he wishes. It goes without saying that the auras of all these stations are now revealed To the killer at all times, Both killer and survivor can see you what Type of weapon is going to be deposited at each station, By symbols. The three types of weapons are the bazooka the flamethrower and the mini gun. Once the drone delivers the suitcase To a resource station the bar at that resource station will pause until the suitcases removed by the killer and that station will Now have a yellow aura that the killer can see. Once the suitcase is picked up whatever weapon it is will be stored in his inventory he can use it whenever he wants but he can only have one weapon in his inventory at any given time. Also depending on how powerful they are each weapon can have its own rarity meaning some weapons are more common than others.
the minigun This weapon works exactly like the Tricksters show stopper In pretty much all regards. Accept the bullets are so powerful they can travel through thin walls except the damage that these bullets Do are significantly decreased. Also the killer can discard this weapon at any time, However this still fully consumes the weapon and he will have to go fetch another 1 this applies to every Type of weapon he can carry.
The flamethrower Also like showstopper in both its wind up and movement speed penalties The flame thrower begins to distinguish itself by first of all you can stop and start the flame for at will, By holding left click you will shoot flames and when you stop the flames will cease, There is both a fuel bar and a pretty generous timer when either of these two meet their end the weapon will stop functioning and the killer will drop them. The initial hit of the flame thrower is almost unavoidable but does not do damage instead it sets survivors on fire Which works similarly to the deep wounds except while survivors are on fire they cannot interact or perform any actions except dropping pallets vaulting and mending themselves they cannot Even be healed by other survivors while on fire. But that is only if they are licked by the fire if they stay in the fire for too long They will be injured while still suffering from the fire deep water fact, The timer it takes for them to take damage immediately resets even if they escaped the flames for a moment. The flank floor is unable to down a survivor however it's an incredibly good way to injure multiple survivors quickly, The flames also produce a large amount of smoke that can be very disoriented, And after one or two moments of the flame thrower directly blowing on a palette or Breakable wall Those objects will be burnt and will break.
The bazooka When the bazooka is activated nemesis will stand still while he is aiming it and will only be able to move again once he's fired or discarded the weapon. It works almost exactly like it does in the game resident evil resistance if you want an idea. There will be 3 Radiuses The missile itself the rather small explosion and the rather large shockwave. If a survivor is directly hit by a missile they will go from healthy to downed immediately, If a Survivor is hit by the explosion they will instead take one damage and be flunged around. If they are hit by the shockwave they will only be flung around which gives the killer a lot of time to catch up to them. Nemesis can fire the Bazooka at his own feet But if he is caught in the radius of his own explosion he will be stunned for a very significant amount of time making this an extremely detrimental action that the survivors can exploit. The bazooka will also damage generators caught in its explosive range which will function like the killer kicked them and reduce a small amount of the generator's progress the explosion will also destroy pallets breakable walls.
Nemesis Receives two more buffs one While he had his tentacle out if he presses the control button Or the same button he would use to activate one of his weapons, It would change the orientation of his hand instead of him launching it as he normally would he has to be beside a wall if he is and he activates the tentacle he will slam his hand into the wall and the tentacle will emerge on the other side, However the hit box of the tentacle will change instead of a long rectangle it will be a small circle around the wall making it very easy to avoid, Unless you're extremely good with mind games this isn't going to be useful in chase however you could use it to catch survivors working on generators behind a wall by surprise So He can try to pull off the fun jump scares he does in his game
The last of his abilities is a passive perk, Nemesis can break breakable walls extremely Quickly compared to other survivors, When he does this if survivors are too close on the other side of the wall they will be slowed and regardless if the survivors are on the other side the nemesis will get a temporary speed buff, This is a nod to how much the nemesis loves smashing through walls, This update will also come with a Kool-Aid Man legendary skin for the nemesis.
This can also come with an array of new Add-ons for the killer, I do like the idea of a killer having a guaranteed base amount of add-ons like two Iridescent Etcetera Etcetera however I think it would be fine if all killers receive any extra add-ons that the developers think would just be cool, So these add-ons would not be replacing any of the old ones.
Purple add on leather handles
This add on significantly decreases the amount of time it takes for the nemesis to discard a Weapon, And when he does so he has a five second window to make a lunge attack and if he does so this lunge attack will be significantly increased in the distance that have travels It's like a mini Coup de Grâce
Green add on armor piercing rounds
When this add-on is used the mini gun will do significantly less damage and have decreased fire rate but will do significantly more damage to survivors when the bullets pierce through walls. This also adds an additional effect if A few bullets hit a generator that generator will act as though it has been kicked and begin regressing.
Yellow add-on 9 millimeter bullets Slightly increases the damage of bullets, If A few bullets hit a generator that generator will act as though it has been kicked
Iridescent add on laced ammunition
If survivors are hit by bullets and or the explosion of the bazooka they will receive the T virus infection
Purple add on E M P attachment All weapons will damage generators when used on them, And the amount of progress reduced by the bazooka to a generator is significantly increased
Green add-on Premium fuel When the flame thrower Duration has been reached, Or the flamethrower is discarded all survivors on fire will scream and have their auras revealed for one second
Iridescent add on Muscle stimulant syringe If a survivor stunts the nemesis while he is wielding a weapon causing him to drop it, The nemesis instead of his normal stun animation will roar fearsomely and the survivor who stunned the nemesis will receive the exposed status effect for 30 seconds
Yellow add-on Large fuel tank Slightly increases the duration of the mini gun, Slightly increases the timer and ammo capacity of the flamethrower
Green add-on extended magazine
Moderately increases the duration of the mini gun, Moderately increases the timer and ammo capacity of the flamethrower
Purple addon Bloody scalpel Perhaps this creature is more capable of feeling pain than initially realized, And perhaps that creature is now more eager to inflict that pain to others. When not in Chase and moving towards a yellow supply station slightly increase your movement speed and significantly increase the speed of picking up black suitcases
Green item experimental syringe When survivors cure themselves of the tea virus they receive the exhausted shadows effect for a short duration
Iridescent add-on security camera The speed at which survivors are able to decrease the bar when hacking a supply station is significantly increased, However when they do so the killer will receive a notification and for the duration a survivor is hacking their aura will be revealed
Ps I'm so sorry for the horrific grammar

Hi everyone, i'm here to share my experience with SCJ, how i got into their teaching, and how i came to a realization that it is a cult. It might be quite a long story but I'm trying to share also what i thought to be false teachings.
In the year 2023, i met someone online from South Korea and we chatted quite a lot. From our chat, we both found out that we are Christians. It's always a pleasure to make a new Christian friend, that's what i thought.
One day, he invited me to a webinar by the name Zion Mission Academy Center about "how to understand God's will" or something like that. I attended the webinar and i found that their message is biblical. The main message of the webinar is more or less "understanding God's will is to read and study the Bible". Sounds biblical, right?
At the end of the webinar, we were handed a form of interest to be a part of their Bible study. Hungry to understand God's word, i signed up for the study. Before the class began, i had several online meetings with one of the members for a quick introduction and a snippet of the lesson.
The lesson is split into 3 levels: elementary, intermediate, and revelation study. The elementary-level lesson is learning about parables and figurative language found in the Bible. The study will increase until revelation study where we will dissect and understand the meaning of the Book of Revelation. We can admit that the Book of Revelation is so difficult (probably impossible) to understand without the help of Holy Spirit. The promise of this class to finally understand the Book of Revelation really captured my attention.
Before the first class, i googled to learn about them. I found an article about Shincheonji, but since i have no knowledge about them i ended up not reading about them in detail and just shrug it off. It was probably my fault for not doing a comprehensive research/search.
Then came the beginning of the class. I am in an online class with several other people (students). I thought that some of the first classes were biblical. For example, the eras in the Bible, prophecy and fulfillment about Jesus in His 1st coming, the meaning of the seed on 4 soils parable, the meaning of some figurative languages/words, etc. Everything sounds biblical.
The first suspicion i noticed was when we learned from Hebrew 5:12-14 about milk and solid food. According to the teacheinstructor, milk is history and moral instruction in the Bible, while solid food is the Bible's prophecy and fulfillment. We were told that we have to eat solid food, that is to understand the Bible's prophecy and fulfillment. This explanation made me question because in the Bible, this is talking about righteousness and distinguishing good from evil, not about having to understand prophecy and fulfillment. But i thought maybe this is another figurative meaning, so i shook off my suspicion and moved on with it.
The second suspicion happened when we learned about the figurative meaning of fire. I expect Holy Spirit to be mentioned as i believe in the Holy Spirit fire as mentioned in Acts 2:3-4. But they never mentioned anything about Holy Spirit. Why do they take out one important (most important if i say myself) element of the fire, that is the Holy Spirit?
Then third suspicion arose when we learned about the event of Betrayal, Destroyer, and Salvation (BDS) in the Bible. They taught us that before Jesus came to save the world, a witness had to come beforehand (in this case John the Baptist) to prepare the way. This event will repeat again in Jesus' 2nd coming. That i can agree with. They explained that Jesus' word is the word of life for salvation, i can agree with that as well.
But then, they explained the sequential event of BDS and how they portrayed John the Baptist (JTB) as the betrayer of Jesus. I'm not a theologist or an expert, but this fact itches me. Why do they portray JTB as the perpetratobetrayer of Jesus. For example, they quoted from Matthew 9:14 that JTB accused Jesus of not keeping the fast. I thought of myself that this is JTB's disciple asking Jesus about fasting, not the JTB himself doubting/accusing Jesus. Why not Judas Iscariot as the blatant betrayer, but instead JTB? That's a big question. But i never asked them about it and continued on with the lesson.
The fourth suspicion was when the teacher explained about holy spirit. It's not the Holy Spirit, God's triune who will become one with us and in Him we can do God's work, but instead they introduce it as holy spirit(s) like archangels or saints. This was very troubling for me. Why they didn't mention or call the Holy Spirit? Do they believe in the Holy Spirit? I believe strongly that Holy Spirit is the one who's dwelling inside us as believers.
The fifth suspicion is when they teach how to gain salvation in the current era. In order to gain salvation, we need to understand the Book of Revelation. How to understand it? By learning it and hearing the testimony from the "New John" or someone who "overcomes", or in other word someone who receives the scroll and can testify the meaning of the Book of Revelation. Only then we can run from the world (that's run by Satan) to Mount Zion or New Heaven New Earth. Although i don't quite understand about Mount Zion that is stated in the Book of Revelation, it bothers me so much that salvation in this era is gained from hearing the testimony of someone who "overcomes", not by believing in Jesus.
The sixth and the most suspicious for me is the lesson of the realization of the BDS event. This is when i started to strongly doubt their teaching and organization. The teacher taught that the BDS event had occurred, especially the Betrayer and Destroyer part. It went back to South Korea's history of a church called The Tabernacle Temple. The teacher explained that this event was the event that BDS came to a realization. At the end of the lesson, i was fully skeptical. Many questions came to my mind about this event and the church itself. It's just so hard to believe that this event could be the trigger of the BDS (if supposedly BDS is even true).
I raised this concern to one of the members but in the end the answer i was given was "it will be explained later in the revelation study/level". The answer was so ambiguous and raised a further question as to why they don't answer that immediately.
Equipped with my suspicion, i googled Zion Mission Academy Center and found out that they're the educational outreach arm of Shincheonji (SCJ). Because of the accumulated suspicions, i read about SCJ in detail now. I was perplexed about what should i do next after knowing about SCJ. But i knew that i had to make a courageous move to leave, otherwise their teachings would be ingrained into me and wasting my time 3 times a week in their study.
The purpose of sharing my story is to sound an alarm to people out there who are currently studying under SCJ (or whatever organization name is under SCJ) and prospective/potential students of SCJ. I'm a born-again Christian and i found some of their teachings derailed from God's word, especially the teachings i mentioned above. Knowing about SCJ being a cult (all over the internet) confirms my suspicion that they're to be avoided.
To close my sharing, it is up to you to believe my story or not. Ask and pray to God in Jesus' name if in case you're doubting about my story or SCJ. I'm open to be rebuked, but i can say that their teaching doesn't sit right with my Christian belief.
One thing important to mention, we can't distribute the material of the class and have to be careful not to spread what we've learned. Why so secretive? Doesn't the word of God (Gospel) need to be spread to the edge of the world?
God bless you in the name of Father, The Son, and the Holy Spirit.

At some point, you've probably thought about the traditional idea of heaven as it is described in Christianity. The thought may have crossed your mind that it would get pretty boring at some point - and you'd be right. Sure. you can't suffer, and this would be nice at first, but you'd always be experiencing the same thing. Always some state of bliss, only positive vibes. Eventually, the positivity would lose all value and meaning, because there would be nothing to contrast it. Light cannot exist without the presence of darkness. This is why life has to contain a balance of both.
Whether they realize it or not, when new-age spiritual people describe their future vision of humanity as being perfectly peaceful, living in a high vibe reality where negativity and conflict cannot exist, they are describing this very same concept of heaven. They simply replace the angels and fluffy clouds with benevolent pleyadian aliens and crystalline cities.
It is a necessary stage in personal and collective development for people to acknowledge and accept their "lower" aspects, such as anything animalistic and primal within themselves, sexuality, physical desires, attachments, darker thoughts, and their sense of ego and individuality. These things are not in fact "lowly" at all, not to be ashamed of, and are just as much of an important part of life as "higher" aspects such as spirituality, awareness of the non-physical, empathy, oneness, and consideration of the collective. Being in full acceptance and expression of both your "higher" and "lower" parts is real balance.
In fact, the reason that physical life and incarnation exists at all is so that we can experience ego and duality. We are not here in physical bodies on the material plane as some kind of punishment, test, trap, or school. We are here because we WANT to be, for FUN. It really is that simple. On the "other side," we are actually non-dual, we are at peace, we are all one, and we are aware of everything, so there's nothing new to do there. So that is why we choose to forget that non-dual state for awhile and come here. To try to turn physical life into what the spirit realm is like would defeat the purpose of physical life.
Dismissing and ignoring your "dark side," acting as if you will permanently escape the "lower" as humanity "ascends," is a form of coping and denial that many people wholeheartedly believe is the ultimate goal of our species. People will continue trying to do this until they realize it is a dead end, it doesn't work. But, humans do actually have a real reason for feeling as if they should escape physicality or live in a perfectly peaceful world.
Humans are in a unique circumstance compared to other intelligent life in the universe.
Advanced aliens, those who have existed for millions of years longer than we have and have figured out how life is supposed to work, do not look, think or act like humans. Since accurate information on what aliens are like is not exactly widespread, we lack the perspective of what physical life is supposed to be like. So we assume that the only solution to our dilemmas is to transcend physicality or eliminate all conflict in the world. But physical matter and the presence of negativity was never the problem - the problem lies in humans being ill-equipped to properly contend with these things.
When you leave people to imagine and create whatever they want, you tend to end up with things such as Dungeons and Dragons, and video games where the hero goes on a quest to defeat someone or something. There are very few completely non-violent works of fiction in comparison. This is because people deeply desire that kind of adventure, and when they can't enact it in real life due to limitations of human society, they turn to fiction to express what they on some level know life is really supposed to be like.
Even though the creators don't consciously realize it, many of these works of fiction are full of channeled information about alien civilizations, and it is far more accurate than 95% of the channeling or theories you will find in spiritual or conspiracy communities and books.
If you were to go out right now and try to lead the kind of life you'd live in The Elder Scrolls, Divinity 2, Baldur's Gate 3, or Dungeons and Dragons, you'd soon be thrown in prison or a psych ward. This is because humans err on the side of safety, comfort, structure, and conformity. Some degree of these things are necessary to keep a civilization in working order, but humans have way too much of it, so we are heavily imbalanced. It is obvious that something is deeply wrong and unnatural with the way we live - mental illness is rampant, un-aliving rates are high, so many people feel hopeless and bleak about the state of the world. We feel stifled because of the excessive structure we impose on ourselves and our overabundance of artificial accommodations.
So why do humans have a tendency to become imbalanced in this way? The root cause is our biology. No, not physicality as a whole, specifically the human body. Before, I mentioned that other intelligent life in the universe does not look human, and there is a good reason for that. Before you all raise your torches and pitchforks, I want to say that the human body is not exactly "bad or "wrong," it's just incomplete. It is a work in progress. It's not meant to stay as it is forever.
You might wonder how a species can be "incomplete" when evolution is an on-going process with no end. The thing is - humans are unlikely to have evolved 100% naturally. There is a reason we still can't find the "missing link" between prehistoric hominids and more recent versions of humans.
Yes, we are a project species. Advanced non-humans visiting earth once decided that the native apes on earth hundreds of thousands of years ago were good candidates to hybridize with alien DNA, and we are a mid-level step in that process. We look like more "refined" versions of those apes, gaining the intelligence and upright-bipedal body structure from our alien DNA donors. But, that is where our physical similarities to them end, for now.
In the games I previously mentioned, you might notice that one of the things all of them have in common is the inclusion of animalistic people of some kind. Dragonborn, Aarakocra, Argonians, Khajiits, you get the idea. Of course they also have humans and human-like species such as elves, but this is only because these games were made by humans. In the actual worlds these games are based on, the animalistic people are the only ones.
In order to live in the kind of world depicted in this media - a world where you are free to choose an "alignment" of anything from lawful good to chaotic evil, a world that is wild and dangerous yet full of unrestricted possibility, a world truly balanced between dark and light - the only kind of world that actually works well for any living being - having this kind of animalistic body is not only preferable, but necessary. A human body is ill-equipped to live in a balanced way for several reasons.
For one, we lack many of the built in biological survival tools that these animalistic aliens have. We don't have fur or feathers to insulate from the cold, we don't have strong scales to protect from injury, we don't have claws for climbing and fighting or tails for jumping and balance, and our 5 senses are not particularly sharp. The retort people have to this is usually "But we don't need those things, because we are civilized and intelligent and can use tools and make clothes and keep ourselves safe in houses."
But if you look at what we're doing to our planet because we use an overabundance of artificial accommodations like these, then it comes into question whether we really don't need any of these animalistic traits. We create sprawling cities and suburbs, paving over miles and miles of land, building against wilderness instead of with it, all because we have thin skin that doesn't contend well against the elements. We pollute the environment and oceans with plastic packaging for our convenient processed foods all because it is hard for us to hunt and catch our own food.
It is also important to understand that a species' body has a massive impact on their psychology and thinking. A person can only run the "software" that their "hardware" allows for. I'll go into detail on the human face, because it's the part of the body that has the most effect on our psychology and social relations.
The human face looks neotenous, which means the retention of juvenile traits into adulthood. It is very soft and flat with a lot of rounded features and a small jaw relative to most animals. This actually makes us feel and act neotenous, whether we realize it or not. We are psychologically sensitive and fairly easy to traumatize. So we don't deal with disasters very well. Generally speaking, we are prone to being submissive and following anyone who appears authoritative, and as a result excessive social control and structure easily takes hold in our world.
The face of an alien, in contrast, has a more beastly and mature appearance and is never flat- the dragon-like reptilian for example possessing a snout, and the regal hawk-like avian having a beak. This predisposes them to more fearsome psychology and behavior. When faced with the threat of social control, they'd be far more willing to fight back. Their biology facilitates expression of will and defiance in a way ours does not. They would see a disaster as an opportunity to move onto new adventures and build something new, not something to remain upset over.
When these beings visited earth in a more public manner thousands of years ago, they inspired many of our legends and mythologies, and were thought to be gods and goddesses. Dragons, gryphons, minotaurs, nagas, the entire Ancient Egyptian pantheon - these were all inspired by alien visitation, not merely human imagination.
To paint a clearer picture -
Think of a 7-9 foot tall bipedal/upright reptilian being standing on spring-like, digit-grade legs with feet resembling that of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, possessing a strong tail that makes them adept at balance and can be used in combat. They possess curved claws on their hands, and are clad in shining, armor-like scales that might be any color of the rainbow. They may or may not have wings. Their neck is fairly long and flexible, and their head looks like that of a regal dragon - long horns, spikes and frills, piercing eyes with slit pupils, along with a muzzle containing rows of razor sharp teeth.
The other alien species that live alongside these reptilians, often living on the same worlds - including bipedal gryphons, avians, snake people, minotaurs, canines, and felines, are similarly impressive.
Despite living in worlds that resemble medieval fantasy, these species do possess incredibly advanced technology, otherwise they would never have been able to visit earth. However, it does not dominate their daily lives like it does for us - they use technology for manufacturing, construction, space travel and genetic engineering rather than social media, television and video games.
They do not even feel the need for those things because their regular daily lives bring all of the excitement and adventure an open-world video game could offer, and more.
Seeing as this is the kind of form that works best for life, it goes to say that we will end up looking more like them at some point, out of necessity. Humanity's next step is not just spiritual transformation, but very much a physical transformation as well. This is what "Ascension" really means, this is what the "New Earth" entails. Since they had a hand in creating our species in the first place, it is very unlikely they would leave us in the dust at this point. They will finish their project.
However, there are likely some alien groups in support of having humans remain in human bodies, wanting to give us a chance in our current form. Other alien groups oppose this, and consider humanity a "project gone awry," acknowledging the dysfunction and suffering among us. A lot of you have probably come across the idea that the "reptilians" are "harvesting our negative energy," and this is actually true to some extent, but they do not use it as food (This would make no sense) instead what this really means is that some of them have a hand in perpetuating and accelerating conflict on the planet, but this is not to oppress us. It is only so humans become more aware of our weaknesses and limitations - the harder things get, the more apparent it becomes that we need to become something more.
This is a harsh method but with a noble goal in the end. It only speeds up the realization that humans can't stay human for good. It's still an inevitable part of our collective development, but it would take much longer otherwise, all of this dysfunction being stretched out for centuries longer. Think of it like ripping the band aid off quickly instead of drawing it out.
This has probably left you all with some questions, so I'll answer the ones I think I'm most likely to get:
Q: "But what about all of the experiences people have reported with aliens like pleyadians and greys?"
A: I believe these may exist in some form but aren't what people think they are. I don't think they are species from another star system. Their biology would cause them to run into the same problems as humans and they'd never reach the level of a space-faring civilization. They were created right here on earth primarily to be used as "stand ins" or cover-ups for the real aliens, as most people haven't been ready to know what real aliens look like. The same goes for any other "alien" you've ever heard about with a flat, human-like face. When it comes to past life memories and astral or dream encounters, note our minds have a tendency to "humanize" the memories of beings we encounter because we have a harder time relating to anything else. So for example if we actually saw a blue-feathered avian, we might just remember a human with blue skin.
Q: "So if we become more like these animalistic aliens, what exactly will that look like and how will it happen?"
A: At first it seems most realistic for us to be slowly influenced over time, gradually taking on more of these traits through genetic engineering (so it looks like natural evolution.) But the problem is, there is not enough time for this. We are at a tipping point where we will exponentially destroy more of ourselves and our planet if something doesn't happen soon. If we are left to our own devices, calamities caused by climate change will likely leave us unable to survive so we simply incarnate into another species. If ETs take a more "hands on" approach, it'll probably look like transferring the consciousness of humans (only those who agree to do so) to new bodies grown in tanks (Think kind of like Avatar.) As for what we'll look like, some kind of bipedal reptilian is most likely, but a bit smaller and more "earthy" than the ones I described before. Possessing advanced tech, but also having a wild and tribal culture and lifestyle, emphasizing connection with earth. Any animalistic form could technically work, but this is what I consider most likely considering the planet's history of being dominated by reptilian life - this is something some alien groups hold dear, and they want to bring this back in some form.
Many humans will of course stay as they are because nobody can be forced into this, even if they tried that approach would backfire. The remaining humans will live alongside the nonhuman beings on the planet, benefitting from the strengths and attributes they bring to help balance us out.
Q: "But my favorite channelers and books say we have to transcend all conflict and that this is what "highly evolved beings" are like, were they all wrong?"
A: I think all of these channelers and works - ones I've read that come to mind are Law of One, Daniel Scranton, and Conversations with God - contain bits of truth, but the "love and light" and non-duality narrative is perpetuated by the beings that are channeled in order to placate people and calm them down so they become more open and accepting towards alien contact and involvement with earth. This narrative is a lot simpler and easier to accept than the full truth. Many of these works talk extensively about extraterrestrial life, and out of necessity it is not entirely accurate, because the goal of this content is to simply open us up to the idea of aliens - and they must do so in a way more palatable to us.
So, to summarize -

• The world of butterflies and rainbows that many new age spiritualists wish for is not actually viable, because light without dark becomes meaningless.
• Balance is necessary for a species or civilization to function properly.
• Balance entails acceptance and expression of both light and dark - peace and chaos, mind and matter, spirituality and physicality.
• An animalistic form is more suited for this balance than the human form.
• Most advanced intelligent alien life possesses this kind of form - they look like beastly and regal mythical creatures, not little grey men.
• Humans are a work in progress project species and some of us are headed in the direction of becoming more like them.

Please note that when I advocate for duality, I don't advocate for the form of duality currently found on earth, I think we are all in agreement that the current state of affairs is not a good thing. I advocate for a form of duality where people are free to explore both dark and light, but are properly equipped and empowered to do so.
I only hope for more people to think outside of the box and challenge the dominant narrative in spiritual/conspiracy communities. The world is going in the direction of improvement, and I support that just as much as any of you do, it is just that it may mean something different from what you think it means.

Essence Of The Magus. (Nasuverse) • It's a beautiful multicolored liquid that, despite everything, keeps changing to new and innovative colors never seen before, it's very mysterious. • You have a natural body, this means that you are the pinnacle of what the human body has to offer in all its shapes and sizes, you are beautiful and as time goes by those traits will only improve, whether you want the strong beauty of muscles or the very delicacy and fragility of a lily, this will be inclined to your desires and requests, so you will undoubtedly be beautiful to your own preferences and desires, even affect the color of your hair or how your eyes will be, and all this without lowering the capabilities of the human body, with reflexes and senses superior to anyone else, your body is the pinnacle and is always improving to reach new heights, this will always be naturally so no one will suspect anything, everything is decided if you want to stay as you are or become the summit of the body of the human being. • You will always be seen in full elegance, maintaining unparalleled grace and balance, you could be associated with a machine before such a detailed display of pinpoint accuracy, you are graceful and gifted with an overwhelming presence and unmatched charisma, expect to have many admirers unless you voluntarily turn it off or mitigate it, and if you consciously use it to its full force don't expect there will be anyone with enough willpower to resist you, you are nobility in every concept of the word, maybe you will get some title like Lorelei Barthomeloi and her title of 'The Queen Of The Clock Tower' or 'The Queen' for short. • Furthermore, you have what would poetically be called 'The Will To Shatter The Stars'. There is no difficulty, no degree of opposition and no level of pain or suffering that can intimidate your intentions, once you make up your mind about something. You can do this all day long and never stop doing it, except by your own conscious choice. Forget mere 'maximum human' willpower, you are absolutely unbreakable. While remaining mentally flexible enough to not be a stubborn idiot, of course. • Your body can not be infected by any being, supernatural or not, you can not be controlled or damaged by both mental and spiritual means, your body is an immovable fortress, your mind to a library masterfully ordered and maintained, your soul is a perpetual sanctuary you can repeat as many times the change of body as Roa or do something with worms as Zouken and your soul will remain the same, you could say that it is a perfect soul for sorcery, beware, the third magic will be and will remain better by far, your soul is something that will remain the same in the face of the most extreme things, but it is not the true immortality that is the third magic, unless you dedicate your research skills to change that. • Mentally, you are able to modify and alter your mind, you can program your mind to react to whatever you want however you want, leaving mental triggers to move before they react is possible, molding it to create a disguise of some different personality is possible, you can even affect their feelings achieving a masterful mask, creating a state with a completely different personality and state of mind is easy, in case you are not sure how to mold your mind without changing you can leave safety countermeasures to go back to any previous state, if a certain thought or situation happens, you are a magician and as such, your masks to fool others are the best, if you use them wisely you could be in your best state to fight or go into a disguise that even Sherlock himself could not discover, this will not affect your will, and you cannot end up as a brain-dead fool by accident, unless that is your disguise. • A little advice, stay away from the eyes of Atlas, those alchemists will see the holy grail or the root itself, if they get to know what kind of body type you have, you will be a very wet dream for any of their researchers, they even have a motto that fits. “It's easy to get into Atlas, but impossible to get out.” • If I were you, I'd be careful with the gods, a body like yours would have them drooling or hating you, it's funny how you don't know which one is worse, it all depends on which gods notice you, god forbid, the Greeks, although they might not even come close because they're admiring you. • The reason for a mind like you have, is to hide the default personality you have as a magus, a cold being, without morals or ethics, who can do anything, this part of you will make the machines see you as the typical sentimental people, it doesn't take much to scare people in that state, people will wonder what the hell you are, what kind of being is hiding under that disguise of flesh you call skin, you can always change it if you want, although you can always hide it, your mind can never be taken advantage of by anyone other than you. • You can choose to have the potential to have true magic, you decide if you only want one or all five in total, you can decide if you want to reach them through research, that being the case you can get creative about how you carry out your research to play true magic, and, it can help you later, this is more of an option than anything else, if you want, you can appear as a user of the five true magics, although it is not said that there will be no questions of how the hell did that happen, you have a complete control of the true magics, and you know both its maximum capabilities and the smallest details about its operation. • The first magic “Denial Of Nothingness”: The first true magic, known as “The Denial Of Nothingness”, is related to the generation of an ether clusters, this includes the creation of matter and energy from nothing and the total destruction of matter and energy in nothing, the clusters of ether are conductors of magical energy. • The second magic “Kaleidoscope”: The second true magic, known as the ”Kaleidoscope” or the “Parallel Worlds Operation”, this includes traveling to alternate worlds, time travel, space-time manipulation and the ability to decide whether timelines are 'canon' or not, you can be creative how you use this, it's not too far-fetched to overlay different dimensions to play with the environment or use unlimited energy from all your universe versions to make a giant energy cannon, the only thing that What stops you is the creativity of how you could use it, you will have to be attentive because interacting with the dimensions and being able to observe everything that the multiverse can be, it can be a bit maddening, you will be protected in any way, but do not expect it to be a very happy, the dimensions have some that can make any person quite crazy, just look how his previous bearer was with the magical girls. • The third magic “Heaven's Feel”: The Third True Magic, known as the “Touch Of Heaven” or the “Manifestation Of The Soul”. This stops the inevitable dispersal of the soul once it no longer has an anchor in the world, and essentially causes it to transcend into a higher form of existence. It is a magic that realizes true immortality by turning the soul into a flat, high-dimensional being capable of interacting with the material world as a mental body without having to return to Akasha. The Sorcerer will acquire an unlimited source of magical energy because his soul becomes analogous to a perpetual motion machine, just like the previous ones, creativity will help you a lot, although with this who needs creativity when you are truly immortal, enjoy ~. • As a certain person said, I wish I had finished in the third, too bad it didn't happen • The fourth magic “White Ink”: The Fourth True Magic, known as the “White Ink”, in another universe the fourth magic is unknown, but how would you go about selecting a magic without knowing all your options? The fourth is based on the manifestation, manipulation, and alteration of concepts, you could alter the concept of water so that it burns instead of splashing (He, he, he) or you can very well create your own urban legend and add the concept 'real' to it, despite the tremendous power that you can still have to be careful, every being is sensitive, even reality itself, so press hard and don't expect to come out very well, you are powerful, but not invincible, keep that in mind, an example would be the previous user of the fourth magic that in an attempt to erase the concept of the fourth magic ended up being erased, it failed to eliminate the fourth magic, but the world ended up forgetting its capabilities due to certain parts that were erased. (Credit goes to AcausalTrillby at fanfiction.net for the inspiration with his story called White Ink) • The fifth magic “Blue Magic”: The Fifth True Magic, known as the “Blue Magic” allows free manipulation of energy/heat without worrying about the order imposed by the arrow of time of thermodynamics (represented by the Second Law), and, thus leading in particular to time manipulation, as opposed to relativistic time travel, Aoko Aosaki managed to affect space-time with this magic, and you can too if you put your mind to it, just be careful you don't want to extinguish life on earth, right? • “The Sixth True Magic”: Currently non-existent, a path to the Root will be granted. You can get close to him, but you must not touch him. By doing so, you will gain access to a new True Magic. It is speculated that the Sixth True Magic might be a magic that can bring happiness to everyone. This may or may not be the case. The magic has to be something unattainable by mundane or thaumaturgical means, as long as those criteria are met you can create the sixth magic, since you are creating something new and not reusing the five magics, this will be the one with which you connect the most, don't get me wrong, if you choose any of the other five, you will have no limits or problems when handling it, in fact you could take it to heights never seen before, only this being your creation, you will be more connected and you, and only you will be the person capable of using it, you are the creator of the sixth magic be proud. • Note something, the first, and fifth are similar in that a path to the root, an Akasha gate, originated and magic was obtained upon its arrival, while the second, third, and fourth were produced as a half to get to that place, however insignificant it may sound to some, this has its own weight in how your magic interacts with you, you may be able to touch or see the path to the Root, or you may try to recreate the means to reach the Root, be careful with that, people smarter than you tried, and they didn't end very well. • It can be said that magicians have become the adversaries of the planet, and by having magic, as redundant as it sounds, you have become a magician, something that the human mind would not normally be able to carry as a burden. Carrying such a power is the recklessness of changing the world, as such, from the moment you obtain true magic, you are destined to go through great things or most likely to affect the entire world, whether the change is good or bad, it will depend on what you decide. • Becoming a magician is something that must be thought carefully, it is a mantle, and it is raw power that will undoubtedly affect how you see the world or how the world sees you, you are entering forbidden territory for human hands, it is the land of gods, so unless you want to fight against gods or planets, think about it a bit before making your choice, and of course, you have some duties with humanity, it's not mandatory, but you can at least look at them once or twice, so they don't get killed or end up committing suicide. • You can grant one magic per person by creating five or six wizards who will be loyal to you until death, you can remove that magic whenever you want and however you want, although at least tell them what you are giving them, you do not want extradimensional accidents or extinction of life on earth, you can always decide to ignore this advice and have fun with the results. • You are by far the most talented and predisposed being to magic, your talent, ingenuity, and creativity have no comparison, your sense, and intuition regarding magecraft is undoubtedly superior, your mind has a library with all the magical knowledge of the entire verse from TYPE-MOON, whatever reality it is, it can be a bit overwhelming, but you get used to it, god forbid you can follow in the footsteps of Lorelei and focus on basic magecraft or some specific theme and develop it so much that you become the Bruce Lee of magic with 'Repeat a kick a thousand times', of course with your talent that can reach true magic levels very quickly, with any magic. • You can connect and adapt to any existing thaumaturgical foundation, yes, that includes the church, this would allow you to use any existing spell as long as you are connected to the foundation of that respective spell, be it sorcery, from Chinese philosophy magecraft, traditional Japanese magecraft and of course the one practiced by the clock tower, there is no foundation that you do not know and to which you cannot connect, if you do not like any, you can create your own thaumaturgical foundation with the rules and implications that you want and although technically it would be impossible, your own willpower is enough to maintain that foundation, if you decide to make that foundation your primary method of practicing magic, with your willpower involved, believe me, there will be no end to how strong you can become, and that applies to every foundation you connect to, you can revive a foundation on the verge of death to its best moment and take it to something much better. • Established and long-standing foundations will be more likely to connect and improve, they may not be as versatile, focusing only on their field as the church that is dedicated to something more spiritual, so be aware that you would spend a lot of time and resources originating a new foundation that connecting and empowering an existing one, each one has its cons and its pluses. • As a great magus you don't always have to depend on a large mound of magic circuits for everything, you can use the quantifiable energy of the Soul; the pseudo-spiritrons to design organisms or stronger objects, as the alchemists of Atlas do, you can also be like hackers and enter the network practicing their code-cast method, whenever you cannot or do not want to use your magic circuits you will find another way to practice sorcery, very well you can practice some method of “Walk and Breathe” to try to become a Xian, whatever method you choose you can take it to unimaginable heights without relying on your magic circuits, and with your talent you can do wonders. • It is true that you can work without magic circuits, you could very well become the best spell caster without even using them even once in your life, but it is better to use every resource you have and magic circuits are part of those resources, your circuits are special, unique in its kind, you will start with fifty magic circuits “Blue Bloods: Noble Magic Circuits”, being the best of the best, what differentiates it from the others is that your magic circuits are improved and shaped the more you use them, these circuits they will grow, improve and multiply, the very environment where you are will affect them and will affect their growth, they may become a “Magic Nucleus” or for some strange reason a “Magic Reactor”, there is also the possibility of becoming “Regression to the Age of Gods”. Allowing you to reproduce the existing mysteries before the age of man, it is certain that they will become what you want and that they will continually improve, in case they are damaged, or you do not have magic circuits they will begin to sprout or self-repair always looking for a way to advance, they may even be influenced by your origin. • As you have undoubtedly noticed, your magic circuits are not natural, this will not affect your form of sorcery in any negative way, who knows, you may reach some level higher than “Blue Bloods: Noble Magic Circuits” magic circuits are used to connect to the thaumaturgical foundation, you will see a rapid adaptation and improvement, the more you use them with a specific foundation, maybe even adopt some characteristics of said foundation. • You can create magic circuits through research and development and implant them in a host, but such a thing would be for someone else, because yours are already on their way to the best of the best. • This also affects how much magical energy you use, to make a comparison, the average mage has 20 units of magical energy, Ciel had 5000 units, you have 10000, and it will always improve according to your magic circuits, as a respected magus you must have enough energy to sustain any research or spell you want. • You can change your origin, it is true that the origin is the starting point that defines one's existence and directs one's actions throughout life. It is the driving force that comes from within the Root, which has managed to sprout from the Source and take material form, but you can change it, unlike other people you can trace your origin to the Root and exchange it for something that is more convenient, ok to see changes, so you will have to be careful, but at least you can change it for anything you want, be it creature, emotion or concept, you can even keep several at the same time, although you would have to be careful, the origin may end waking up if you swap it too much or if you have several, and they manage to sync up, you're a never-before-seen case, so crazy things can happen. • If a person ends up awakening their Origin, it becomes nearly impossible to deviate from their Origin, if even possible in the first place. It becomes an impulsive behavior that one would follow as if it were an absolute order, it has to be taken into account that if you achieved such a thing you would gain superhuman abilities according to your origin, the defense mechanism that you have will save you at some point after awakening your origin, the defense mechanism returns your origin to its state before waking up, you can program it so that it takes days or months to put your origin to sleep again, keep that in mind, the origin has to be treated with care. • Element, the elements are somewhat easier to deal with and without as much danger as the origins, by default you are an average with the five elements, fire, water, earth, air, and ether and just as before you can exchange and modify them to your liking it is better not to overlap an exaggerated number of elements, but at least you are not in as much danger as with the origins, the element is the type of magic with which you are more predisposed and which one you are better at, it should be noted that different cultures handle in different ways the elements, so there is a variety of elements with the same name, you will have to be more specific when changing the element. • The elements are not so rigid when it comes to making magecraft, if we put as an example that you have water as an element and that you want to learn spells more inclined with fire, you can, but it will cost more, although that is not your case, it should also be remembered that the elements are more than the name of said element itself, water is the fluidity and control of liquids, the other elements are something similar, only with their own peculiarities, there are elements as unique as sword or hollow, so who knows What things can you achieve if you start being creative. • Origins and elements are connected, so if you have the same origin and the same element, you will notice that your magic will have a boost on anything bordering on that field, although you run the risk of over-specializing, an example would be demon origin and demon element, you will find that you could do spectacular things with demonology, although you won't be able to do much with any kind of sorcery not associated with demons. • You are an artist when it comes to creating things, you would fit very well with Atlas, just like them, you are able to create things that could bring about the destruction of the world seven times, there is no limit in what you are able to build, from mystical supergiant codes like the “Foundation of Philosophy” up to the seven weapons of Atlas, it would be possible within your capabilities to start theorizing how to create Noble Phantasms or recreate them, very well you can do like the hikikomori of Caubac and create your own holy scriptures, or you can be like Zelretch troll and create items about magical girls or whatever you prefer, you can create the philosophical keys or magical crests or create something new based on it. • Theoretically, you are able to build anything shown in TYPE-MOON that is supernatural, and this includes everything from a simple pistol to the MOON CELL itself, and always with the ability to innovate, improve, or create something entirely new. • The “Philosophy Foundation” generated by the Xian in the land of China is essentially a simulation of an artificial Root. The Xians worked together as a group to build it. Instead of connecting to the Root using the gods as a relay, as civilizations in the Age of Gods did, the Xian produced their system of magic by building a Supergiant Mystic Code that merges with the planet. That is the Philosophy Foundation. • You are able to break down any magic you see or theorize into its most basic components, you may very well be called the second coming of Waver, for what you can do, with your talents it would not be difficult to dissect any magic you see down to its most basic concepts, being able to recreate it if you decide to do such a thing, you can always see ways to improve or modify it, but there is no magic that you don't see that you don't understand. • It has been said that anything magecraft can do technology can do and vice versa, you understand that principle well, you are capable of achieving anything science achieves through magecraft, any technology you see will only give you new and innovative ideas to achieve it through magecraft. • An example would be Apollo 11, you can imitate such a thing with magecraft, a space teleportation to reach the moon or some strange chimera that can take you, to know if you can do something else with astrology, true magic may end up dying, but magecraft it will be maintained and will continue to advance as long as you exist and science exists. • A magus is a scholar above all else, as a magus your main skill will be the investigation of sorcery in order to get to the root, you are a born investigator knowing every detail of the book by heart, a slight passing glance is enough to remember it whenever you want without need at a second glance, and not only that, you understand them to their very core, anything you don't know, you only need to investigate it to learn, as a researcher your handwriting will be relentless, your notes will be the finer details, and you can always do a thesis about a thousand and one ways to get to the root, you know for shit and giggles. • You unconsciously organize your work space, you will not be the typical researcher with your head in the clouds and with a workshop more messy than your room, no, your workshop is a perfect example of order, organized to the millimeter without you realizing it, this is also gone to all your jobs, no leaving dangerous things lying around unprotected or having all your tools dirty and messy, you know what they say, a tidy space is a safe space, and you have exemplary security. • You are a good teacher, you see the talent of people, their potential, and you can show that by bringing out all that talent, just like Waver you are an exceptional teacher when it comes to teaching, even the dumbest and most talentless person can become even a Lord, a person with real talent and a good head on his shoulders can very well get to Marshall just like Zelretch and Lorelei, of course as long as he listens to your lessons. • In addition to research you can focus your skills to develop many elements in any field you choose, on top of that you will never see any unwanted side effects or stalling your research, you see possibilities in mistakes, small delays in full stalls of a sorcery, potential in drawbacks, every mistake, bump, or snag in your eyes will become a possibility that may very well take your research to new heights. • Example: you can focus on martial arts, create something like the Nanaya killing arts, even recreate the Nanaya arts themselves, use pre-existing martial arts to give them mystical effects, it's very viable, you can create your own mystical martial arts. Assessing an enemy in the middle of a fight is easy for you, developing countermeasures against him or finding weaknesses you can exploit (If you have “The Mystic Eyes Of Death Perception” or something similar, you can find new lines of death or develop them in your enemy yourself) there is no field in which you cannot apply your talents. • Optionally, you can create a workshop, a workshop is a place where the magus carry out their research, it is a sacred place that any self-respecting magus will never let anyone enter, yours is impenetrable and untouchable, unless you allow it, at first you can design it inside as you like either as some ancient place of study or as a modern laboratory, your workshop is a subspace between dimensions, impossible for any being to find, no matter where you go you can access to your workshop from anywhere, be it places as remote as the bottom of the ocean, some forest, or desert forgotten by the hand of God or space itself, you just have to call it the way you want, a door will open where you can enter, you can modify this entrance as you want, needing a key or only access from a certain door when you want, and always having the flexibility so that you can modify it to your g you. • Your workshop has books on every possible sorcery and various ways to implement it, even notes for a beginner to practice little by little and build slowly, along with manuals and various articles for learning, it also has information on magus policy or data from the world both known and not, there is a lot of knowledge that will serve you, and not all of it is necessarily sorcery, at your option, all of TYPE-MOON's knowledge can be here in book formats or any other form you want, the workshop It will have any material or tool you require, and just like before it ranges from the most exotic never thinkable to the most normal, after spending that material it will recharge regularly, so you never have to worry about running out of resources. • In case you want something different, you can create your own workshop in the way you want, building both its defenses and places where you will store your knowledge and carry out your research, when you finish, the construction will gain the same benefits as if you had it. Given, these are undetectable and impenetrable. • Your workshop is a place for any outside creature not to enter and for anything inside not to leave, the workshop is something that you can change to your liking both in appearance, space and time, you can even change concepts within your own workshop, convert your ceiling a gateway to space, so you can admire any star from near or far, you can't be harmed inside your own workshop so the vacuum of space or the sun's rays would do little or nothing to you. • A magician walks with death, you among the many magus out there, you are sensitive to danger, you know very well when something can go wrong, you detect it like a bloodhound, whether it is a migraine, a slight smell or daring visions of the mirrors of what could go wrong, whatever method you choose, you know something will go wrong, and you know what will cause it, there is no longer any danger of experiments or ambushes, your sense of danger will alert you whenever death is near you, there will be no moments either late or too early, this gives you the right time, and also something of how to go out, there is nothing impossible to avoid death here. • You can leave marks on people so that they also notify you if they are in danger, you decide if the same person is aware of the danger or not. • You can say if you want to be like Akiha Tohno and I will become a half-breed with the blood of some mythical or supernatural beast, this will give you certain unique abilities depending on the blood you decide, it will also give you a stronger connection to the mystery, your instincts will be controllable and will not cause any problem, although they can always be useful, it is always curious to know what those senses perceive that is not detectable by humans. • Optionally, you can decide if you want to do some research to fully become that creature, an example being becoming a dead apostle like Gransurg Blackmore did. • You can give people mythical blood if you want to do something with it, you can always control them and take that power away from them if they rebel. • Despite the fact that many magus dislikes it, politics is present within their society, you are the one who governs that, words are an art that you master, you are the best, it is simple to deceive or convince people, you know how people think. People, you know what they want, you know how to guide their thoughts or group a group of people with certain ideas, you know by heart every law, every line, every letter of every word and every political loophole that you can take advantage of with all that, move in the world politician, it's not very difficult, you control it well, you can be considered a control demon for how well you handle everything. • If you don't want to touch politics, that's fine, you know enough to move in society, it's simple to fake smiles or emotions, deceiving people is second nature, making them believe that you are like them, without any problem and with a normal life it's surprisingly easy, if you don't want to fool anyone that's fine, just with the security you show you would eventually have some group of trustworthy friends. • Sometimes it is difficult to know if a decision is good, until after seeing what happens, not for you, the decisions you make, are made under detailed scrutiny, your decisions will no longer have the doubt of whether you did it right, and even if for some strange reason some bad decision goes through your detailed study, you will have a sixth sense that will constantly warn you not to choose it, it will be your decision after that. • If ever it is not enough to stick to the laws, you know how to do everything in a more criminal way, blackmail, extortion, threaten, etc. you know every dirty trick in the book, in fact you wrote the book, you know it backwards and forwards, the underworld has its own laws, and you know them like the back of your hand, your very well can create your own mafia and promote it by the underworld, and when it's not enough to talk, well, it's an easier way to just permanently eliminate every person or group that opposes, not that anyone finds out if you want. • You know people's minds, you know how they think, you know what they want, and you can notice very clearly when some thought of betrayal passes through their pretty little head now condemned, you can tell if they have a plan or if they are trying to influence you, not because of some strange ability but because you simply know how the human being works, there is no person that you cannot understand, just one look and the personality of any person remains in your eyes, abnormal cases like Shirou Emiya is simply looking at them from a slightly different perspective, it is easy to You play with those thoughts, moving some person from one place to another like a puppet is quite a fun hobby, turning the most cowardly person into something much worse than Shirou with his sense of heroism and his lack of self-preservation is simple, the most calm and good-hearted person under your hands can be left as Kirei Kotomine with no moral limit as to how much evil is enough, h woe to whoever makes you angry, you know enough about the human being to create a real hell with simple words, people tend to think that words cannot cause so much damage, after all, words are not as effective as a sword According to them, it is sometimes easy to forget that a few simple words caused the fall of Camelot. • Trade is not so attached to the magus, but it is better to have money and be like Luvia using money from one side to the other, not be like Rin and wonder if you can last until the end of the month paying attention to each expense you make, the world of commerce opens its huge golden doors to you, you know money, you know how money is managed, you know where there are opportunities or how to create them yourself, you know where definitely not to be around to keep the money you have and avoid losses. • You have what can be said, a golden luck, the lottery, prizes, or just finding a dollar on the street, money comes to you passively, you can control how much comes to you, from a simple five dollars to millions, someone can suspect, but you will still be rich, so there will not be so many problems. • You know every dollar, every coin by heart, down to the tiniest penny, you keep it in mind when you do the math, which makes you very good with numbers, but pluses aside, you keep every bit of your money in mind, so that if any bills or coins go missing you'll notice quickly, so it's easy to spot if some fool is having a funny idea about your money. • Furthermore, you are the best at handling money, you can very well copy the Harweys and get 60% of the planet or more, there will be opposition, but if you use this, plus your political skills, you can very well do it without anyone noticing. • Mystery is what allows magecraft, the crystallization of belief, so it is undeniable to say that without mystery there is no magecraft or magic, as time passes and technology advances, the mystery gradually evaporates from this world, a risk for the magus, because their job lies in the very existence of the mystery, that is a danger that does not apply to you, your mere existence revives the mystery, you are like a plant only instead of expelling air, you expel mystery, this is something you can control, such as applying it only to your actions or that it spreads throughout the world or only to an area in general, you decide. • Be careful not to spread it around the world, the revival of the mystery can revive some troublesome things, most likely you can irreparably affect the world itself, the planet itself will be affected by such an action. • If you decide to enclose the mystery in an area, in that small area the mystery will begin to accumulate, affecting everything that is inside, each plant, each animal, each insect, even the smallest being can be affected. • Since the mystery comes from you, every creature that is impacted by the mystery you produce will feel a feeling of loyalty towards you, the probability that they will not be loyal to you is close to zero, they may see you as a divine being, which is god to humans, at worst they will be of no use to you, but they will still refuse to harm you. • You have more security against Gaia and Alaya, they will be softer when it comes to judging whether to eliminate you, you can be much more reckless than the rest of the magicians and unless you do something extreme like endangering the entire planet or humanity itself, none attack, they will stay away and not bother you, they will watch you it is true, but they will never interfere with anything you do as long as you do not go too far, this includes that Alaya cannot prune the timeline where you are, you are an immutable being when it comes to damaging the timeline, the incineration of humanity or the Lostbelt will do nothing to you, you are protected from that by sending you to another time and space, you will be displaced through time to the point of origin where that timeline was damaged, the singularities, very well you can solve it or just observe while you continue with your investigation while you wait to be sent to another space-time, in case it is solved you will return to where you were before all this happened, and in case that timeline is doomed you will be sent to another timeline that is not in danger. • Your powers cannot be stolen, deleted, copied or anything like that, you will have constant protection against negative effects, in case something unexpected happens, you will be randomly teleported, your powers will return, eventually, they always return. • Without perfection, nothing you build is ever perfect, it never will be, nor are you perfect, perfection is a limiting factor, when perfection arrives there is nothing else, that is why you can break perfection being able to grow unlimitedly, there is no limit in terms of you can grow or improve pre-existing things because in principle there is no end for you, and although some may say that there must be an end, a point at which you will eventually reach perfection by not being able to improve anymore, they are wrong, as simple beings, his imagination, his head can only come to that conclusion, that there is a limit, but not you, the limits seen in mortal eyes do not apply, you see an infinite path, the root itself is infinite and constantly growing, because you cannot be equal to her and have no limits in your growth, without perfection, without limits, a perpetual growth.

long as hell Hi everyone, i’m 19f and i’ve struggled with getting/having friend’s my entire life. It seems as though I put more effort into my friendships without receiving that same effort back. Also, I feel like I’ve been put in the replacement/ back up friend way too much for my liking. Anyways, I’m going to give you guys examples of things my “friends” have done and let you guys decide if i’m just annoying.
Example #1: I’ve been friends with this person since 2nd grade. I moved to another state in 6th grade. Despite the distance, my mom used to bring me over, and as I got older, I'd make the trip myself (multiple times) with no problem. It’s only about 30 mins driving and a 70 mins by train. During spring break, I jokingly asked her to visit, I say jokingly because I genuinely didn’t think she would say yes because I’ve known this girl for about 13 years now and she’s never has made the travel up + i’ve asked before but this time she said yes , but then she completely ignored my follow up messages throughout the week and we haven’t talked in 3 months since then.
Example #2: Friend #2, who has been friends with her best friend for almost as long as I've been friends with Friend #1, recently expressed missing her friend who got a boyfriend. Despite having a boyfriend herself, Friend #2 doesn't make much effort to hang out with friends either so while I was empathetic, I was also confused . She started calling me her best friend on social media, and was calling me a lot more often than usual. I didn’t really think much of it then but recently we all hung out together,and I’ve felt so left out. After the hangout, I guess they resolved their issues and I haven’t really heard from her for about two weeks.
Example #3: This is about two friends of mine who are also best friends. I met them last year and became friends with them separately, and once they knew I about each other we all started hanging out. Granted we were in high school, so we had all the time in the world to hang out. Over the summer of 23’, I would ask them to hangout all the time to which I would get “Oh we’re hanging out with so & so today” or “Oh, today’s not a good day because of _”. I eventually got tired of asking and we didn’t ended up hanging out until December of last year. We’ve hanged out twice since then because of(me) asking and it hurts knowing that they go out all the time and never think to invite me lol.
so what do you guys think? am i clingy or overthinking too much?

So there was a recent thread that got me to look back on the original plans for the 2.0 expansion material and I ended up digging through it a bit more than I ever had before. I figured it might be fun to write up a full breakdown of what I was able to gleam from my digging.
Before I begin, I should mention that the information available is spotty and inconsistent in places. For example, according to the TORCommunity database, a lot of these files were added in version 1.3 and 2.0. However, going back to the files that are in those patches (I love you Jedipedia), a lot of those files are not present in those versions. I assume this is internal marking, and is based on the dev's versions and not the live versions. In fact the Sith Warrior dialogues only show up in live in 5.0.0. I have no idea why those dialogues just suddenly popped into existence there.
Generally speaking I have four types of files available to look through.

• The first are the cnv (conversation) files, which are the most useful as they give the actual dialogue thereby telling us what the plot was. We have these for Bothawui for all republic classes, Ziost for Sith Warrior, "open world" (term used for quests between planets or for small instanced planets) for all five of the above, and one random Imp World arc file for Yavin IV. There are some that are blank, but the majority have something.
• The second are quest files for the quests. We have quests for all of the classes on Bothawui, Ziost, and Open Worlds. We have quests for Jedi Knight on Sleheyron. We have world arc quests for Yavin IV for both factions, and side quests for every planet. Unfortunately, these are a bit more hit and miss in their usefulness because some of them are missing strings. So sometimes we can get what all the steps of a quest were going to be, other times the only things we can learn are a name the quest used to go by and how many steps the quest was supposed to have. Even the ones that have all their strings aren't necessarily useful. For example, we have all the steps for the Sith Inquisitor quest, "A Warm Welcome." Step 1, " Take a Shuttle to Your Estate." Great, now we know the SI has an estate! Step 2, " Talk to the Sith Lord." And the usefulness is gone.
• The third type are creature files. These tell us who was planned to show up where, but they are of limited usefulness without context as to what the NPC was doing. For example, I can't immediatly tell the difference between a friendly, an enemy that starts friendly and turns hostile after a conversation, or someone that appears via holo-recording.
• The fourth "type" are "phantom files" that are listed in TORCommunity's databases, but are missing from what I am able independently datamine. I trust that TORCommunity's listings are correct, but there also isn't much to gain from these files since they are all empty (included in these are some of the missing cnv files).

Overall Plan

So to begin, it should be noted that all of these cnv files are located in the directory cnv.exp.01. This is the same naming convention used for the released Rise of the Hutt Cartel files. This makes it difficult to tell what Makeb's original role in the expansion was. It appears that it was intended to be part of the expansion as there is the following line from the Supreme Chancellor that appears to vary based on whether a Smuggler did Makeb before starting Bothawui.

(Did not do Makeb) "Of course I am. The Voidwolf's defeat is the only reason I can ignore being referred to as "Madame Chance. "
(Did do Makeb) "Of course I am. Your success on Makeb bought you considerable leeway with me--but "Madame Chance" is pushing it. "

Additionally according to TORCommunity's "added in patch" data, the majority of Makeb's cnvs were initially added in 1.3, which was the same patch that most of the other files were added for the cut content.
So in addition to Makeb, the planned planets appear to have been Bothawui (Pub), Ziost (Imp), and Sleheyron (Both). These three planets were intended to have class stories and side quests (no evidence of a world arc, but I don't know if none was planned or if they just didn't get to it). There is no evidence that Makeb was ever meant to have any class stories on it. Additionally, there is one conversation file for Imp Yavin IV. It was early on in development when they stopped working on it since the dialogue is just a summary of what happens in the scenes (e.g., a shuttle crashes), but there are quests and NPCs for both Pub and Imp world arcs, so there was more planned.
So in summary the plan appears to have been something like:

• Makeb (Shared Planet with World Arcs)
• Bothawui/Ziost (Faction Exclusive Planets with Class Stories)
• Sleheyron (Shared Planet Class Stories)
• Yavin IV (Shared Planet with World Arcs, placement uncertain but has to be before or after the class stories as an NPC that is kidnapped in a class story is a quest NPC)

Now before I start on discussing the content from each planet, it is worth mentioning that I have little context for most quests and NPCs, so I'm just going to be putting them in alphabetical order.

Bothawui

The overall setting for this Planet seems to have been that the Republic is going on the offensive and the Imperials are going scorched earth while they get pushed off planet.
Something that is well known (I think) at this point is that Dantooine on live is a modified version of the map that originally made for Bothawui. From the dialogue files that I've looked through, I'm betting the dam in the portion of the map we are on was originally called the Bosnar Dam, which was a set piece for one of the JK missions. Also probably worth noting that the there are multiple mentions of Bothawui being an important source of food, which probably factored into their choice to reuse the area since Dantooine is also a farming planet.
Quests

• Storm of Destruction
• The Butchers of Bothawui
• The Stone Ray's Lair
• Wet Work
• (Bonus)
  • Search and Rescue

Ziost

I'm really not sure what the state of Ziost was supposed to be. SW seems to be dealing with Pubs having taken over the planet defense grid. SI and IA seem to be dealing with internal politics. And I have no idea of what BH is up to.
Quests

• [HEROIC 2] Battle of Xeno District
• Caged
• Gateway to the Empire
• [HEROIC 4] The Horror at Black Forge
• (Bonus)
  • Cathar Fury
  • Counter-offensive
  • The Ritual of Naga-Sadow

Sleheyron

Honestly I have less of an idea for Sleheyron than Ziost since Sleheyron is either the least finished planet or the planet with the least files that has slipped into live.
Quests

• (Pub General Quests)
  • Castles in the Skies
  • Devotion to Duty
  • The Battlefield of Tomorrow
  • Tibanna Exchange
• (Imp General Quests)
  • Doomsday Virus
  • Master Logrus
  • Quantum Javelin

Yavin IV

I have very little idea on the Pub side of things. There are some clues for the Imp side though. While he lacks a creature file, the Imp quests make mention of reporting to Servant One. So that means Imps were probably here on a mission for the Emperor. My first instinct is reviving the Emperor, but I don't have enough info. General Heskar also made a return. Oh Imps also spoke to Naga Sadow's force ghost as part of their world arc.
Quests

• (Pub World Arc)
  • Crossing the Guard
  • Kagan's Endgame
  • The Interceder's Vengeance
  • Triumph by Fire
  • Under the Stone
  • (Bonus)
    • Endgame For All
    • Preparing the Temple
    • Prison Camp Sabotage
• (Pub General Quests)
  • Unforgotten Deeds
• (Imp World Arc)
  • Doom
  • Extraction
  • Into the Jungle
  • Meeting the Massassi
  • Rise
  • The Cursed Legacy of Naga Sadow
  • The Empire's Last Stand
  • The Fate of the Empire
  • To Face a Dark Lord
  • (Bonus)
    • A Shrine to Defeat
    • Friendly Competition
    • Marching Orders
    • Old Idols
• (Imp General Quests)
  • For the Emperor
  • Slash and Burn
  • War Games
  • (Bonus)
    • Burning Legacy

Jedi Knight

So the JK's overreaching plot for seems to have been working together with the Protectors (the rescue team we met on Makeb) in order to help evacuate people.
There are multiple mentions of a place called Talravin, which I'm guessing is where the story would start as the JK helps evacuations there. From reading between the lines, it appears that the JK would be sending the refugees to a new world called New Euphrades...and of course the story finishes with us fighting a Sith in orbit as he is trying to destroy it.
Based on quest names, it seems we were meant to go to Alphelion Six, which does not have a wookiepedia article so I guess it was a new planet, at some point. Since the finale seemed to be New Euphrades, I'm guessing this happened between Bothawui and Sleheyron. Whenever it happened, the Protectors were apparently going to join you there.
Seems that there was an ending choice for the JK between joining the Protectors full time or becoming the Battlemaster. There is a lot of dialogue regarding the role of Jedis, so this seems like a conclusion to that arc as the JK chooses whether to be a protector or a warrior? Scourge also mentions that he had additional visions, but doesn't provide anything useful just kind of says "yeah I totally knew you were going to make that choice" after you made it.
Rough Map

• Talravin to start the plot?
• Bothawui to rescue civilians from the fighting
• ??? (Alphelion Six?)
• Sleheyron to ??? (probably rescue more civilians)
• Area where Talaravin gets the shield codes for New Euphrades
• Battle over New Euphrades
• Report to the Chancellor where you get the choice between joining the Protectors and Battlemaster

Quests

• Off World/Multi World
  • Crisis at Alphelion Six
  • Improving Performance
  • Soft Targets
  • The Parting Blow
  • The Price of Eternity
  • Welcome Captain Maddox
  • Welcome Doctor Kantos
  • Welcome Tefani
• Bothawui
  • A Rude Welcome
  • Blight of Bothawui
  • Double Time
  • Not a Drop to Drink
  • (Bonus)
    • Double Time
    • The Road to Vellik
• Sleheyron
  • A Hot Lead
  • Emergency Detour
  • Project Sever
  • The Ortis Problem

Notable NPCs

• Off World/Multi World
  • Captain Maddox - Leader of the Protectors that are joining the JK. He joins you on your ship (like members of the Rift Alliance did for the JC?). Also dies, so I assume you might be taking his role if you joined the protectors.
  • Doctor Kantos - Head medical officer for the Protectors. She also joins the JK's ship. You could flirt with her, and she seemed to be receptive to both genders. There are confrontations at the end of the story for both Kira and Doc where you have to choose between your LI or her. So I guess she was planned as a continuous love interest...not sure how that would have worked since she wasn't a companion.
  • Tefani - Tech head for the Protectors who also joined the JK's ship.
  • Darth Legius - Praetor of the Dark Council's army (no idea how that is different than the normal army). He appears to be the main villain for the JK. He had sworn vengeance over us for "lying" about killing the Emperor. Also he had two apprentices that get the one-off villain treatment on Bothawui. Our final battle would have taken place aboard his flagship, the Vindicator after he pissed off the Dark Council. One dialog implies that at some point he becomes the first Sith to publicly acknowledge the death of the Emperor.
  • Darth Marr - No idea what his role was (probably holo-call with Legius?), but he is in the JK files
  • General Var Suthra - He could reappear during the Aphelion Six quest
  • Master Orgus Din - He appears in the Soft Targets files, so I guess we were meant to get more force ghost lessons from him?
• Bothawui
  • Garith - Local resistance fighter who is your initial contact when you arrive
  • Colonel Blight - Villain and probably part time Captain Planet villain. He is an efficiency expert who has been brought in to kill as many civilians as possible as the Imps retreat.
• Sleheyron
  • Agent Galen - Our old cybernetic buddy could show up

Jedi Consular

The JC's arc seems to be the most clear cut. The JC gets a vision of the galaxy burning because of Torwin Vehls and then sets out to find them and stop them. On Bothawui, the JC discovers that Torwin has the power to give power to others, and this includes giving force sensitivity to non-sensitives (and also to animals).
The JC fails to catch Torwin on Bothawui and must continue chasing after him before he find "the Shrouded Ones," which were something related to the Rakata. "The Shrouded Ones were built to be the end of everything. A solution, to our empire's final problem." Not sure if they were something new or something that already exists given a mysterious name. There are talks about them that makes them sound like they are machines powered by the force, but I'm not sure how that solves the Rakata's final problem or meshes with Torwin's power. Then again the Rakata were evil jerks, so maybe their solution was to just murder everyone so they didn't go down alone?
I feel like there is a good chance that this unused arc is the inspiration for at least part of the current arc since one of the powers Darth Nul is mentioned as having is awakening force sensitivity in those unaware they had it (slightly different, but if anyone starts mentioning Shrouded Ones, we know that is not a good sign).
Rough Map

• Get a vision somewhere (Voss diplomatic mission?)
• Bothawui to hunt down Torwin
• ??? (Remnants of Natukar? You work with Darth Kallomena to find a Rakata map to the Shrouded Ones)
• Sleheyron to hunt down the Shrouded Ones
• ???

Quests

• Off World/Multi World
  • Remnants of Natukar
  • The Shrouded One
  • The Stack
  • Unforeseen Circumstances
  • (Bonus)
    • Clearing the Stack
    • Meeting the Delegates
    • Remnants Resistance
    • The Droids Within
• Bothawui
  • A Man of Vision
  • Broken Shield
  • Interpretations
  • Long Left Behind
  • (Bonus)
    • Healing the Land
    • Lured Beasts
    • Plowing the Fields
    • Skirmish at Narless
• Sleheyron
  • Conspicuous Consumption
  • Falling Sky
  • Groundbreaking
  • Into the Eye

Notable NPCs

• Off World/Multi World
  • Darth Kallomena - A masked Sith that the JC encounters on Bothawui. She is also seeking Torwin because he is her charge or something along those lines.
  • Gnost-Dural - Shows up in the Unforeseen Circumstances quest
  • Voss - Several Voss also appear in the Unforeseen Circumstances quest, seems to be a diplomatic conference about the Voss wanting to send their commandos home to deal with the Gormak. No Gaden Ko though
  • Hallow Voice - Has some dialogue talking about the Shrouded Ones
• Bothawui
  • The Custodian - A Rakata that was made force sensitive against his will by Torwin in an attempt to bribe The Custodian into giving info on the Shrouded Ones
• Sleheyron
  • (Nobody that I recognize)

Smuggler

Trying to describe this plot feels like a fever dream, but maybe that is appropriate for a continuation of the OG Smuggler story. So the Smuggler gets dragged into the story after an attack on Port Nowhere by a criminal gang.
The Smuggler tracks them down to Bothawui where you learn they are the Womp Family and that they have gotten ahold of a Superdreadnaught, which they refer to as a "space mansion." And they aren't just called the Womp Family, they actually are a family. The plot is essentially that a bunch of hillbillies got their hands on a...fully automated aircraft carrier(?) and are now going around launching air strikes on people that tipped their cows. They literally launch an orbital bombardment on the Smuggler at one point. Not his ship or base that he is at. Just the Smuggler after the Smuggler corners one of their members. They are also trying to extort the Republic. I don't know how things ended, but I imagine the dark side ending has the Smuggler getting a larger ship.
Rough Map

• Port Nowhere is attacked
• Bothawui to look into who was behind the attack
• ??? (Bothawui ends with Risha going to research Barabbula, so I assume we followed up on that lead next)
• Sleheyron to ???
• ??? (Probably the opportunity to steal the Superdreadnaught, but I don't have that dialogue)

Quests

• Off World/Multi World
  • Confidence and Influence
  • Days of Infamy
  • Decontamination
  • Party Down
  • Spoiling the Surprise
  • (Bonus)
    • Securing Valuables
    • Threat Recognition
• Bothawui
  • Bothan Beatdown
  • Camp Shatter
  • Clean Sweep
  • Harsh Introductions
  • (Bonus)
    • Hidden Reset Phase (probably not actually a quest)
    • I Was Never Here
• Sleheyron
  • Celebrity Spotlight
  • Lab Samples
  • Public Spectacles
  • The X Particles

Notable NPCs

• Off World/Multi World
  • Master Sumalee - She would have returned! And she had a fade to black! Also revealed that Satele dropped the prohibition against romance off screen. She seems to serve as the Smuggler's contact with the Republic (which was her job for one of the Smuggler endings).
  • Beryl Thorne - Don't know what she was up to, but she apparently reappeared in Party Down
  • Barrabula the Hutt - Owner of the superdreadnaught that was somehow stolen. Also the Supreme Mogul of the Cartel three hundred years ago.
• Bothawui
  • (Nobody I recognize)
• Sleheyron
  • (Nobody that I recognize)

Trooper

Trooper is leading the front lines of the battle on Bothawui with a reporter in tow. Had a scene that would have been interesting to see where the Trooper was to get airdropped in a bomb modified to serve as an entry craft. The reporter mentions having enough footage on Bothawui, so I'm not really sure where the expansion long arc was supposed to go from there. Immediately after Bothawui, you are the guest of honor at a party held by the Chancellor, so I guess the Sleheyron mission pops up there.
Rough Map

• ???
• Bothawui to liberate the world and get footage
• Be the guest of honor for a party the Chancellor is holding
• Sleheyron to ???
• ???

Quests

• Off World/Multi World
  • Elements of Surprise
  • Freedom from Fear
  • Mercy Mission
  • (Bonus)
    • Surprise Party
• Bothawui
  • Battle of Liahstarn
  • Firing Solutions
  • (Hidden) Speak with Jonas and Chall (Chill?)
  • Reversal of Fortunes
  • Tactical Payload
• Sleheyron
  • Grasp of Shadows
  • Picking Up
  • Sleep Wake Cycle
  • Two for One

Notable NPCs

• Off World/Multi World
  • Rylo Kann - Journalist that joins the Trooper for at least part of the expansion.
  • Jaxo - So I guess she was meant to reappear if alive.
• Bothawui
  • Jonas Balker - He would have returned. And he would have had a fade to black...something he still doesn't have on Live yet.
  • Dagger Wing - They would have returned from Belsavis to provide support on your campaign. They have an interesting choice where they ask you how to handle the reporter as he wants to interview them (unaware of the whole accidently war crimes backstory?).
  • Raven Squad - You were supposed to meet them on the battlefield, which would have included them calling bombers on your position. No idea if their current iteration is meant to be the same as this group, but they almost certainly reused the name since it wasn't otherwise being used. Their commander in this iteration is named Varis.
• Sleheyron
  • (Nobody that I recognize)

Sith Warrior

Sith Warrior is the only one of the Imp classes that I have dialog for. On Ziost, the SW is in charge of getting the planetary defenses back after Pubs take them over. However the planetary defenses might only be a distraction because there is dialogue referring to the Sith Warrior saving the Voice who is a necessary component for reviving the Emepror.
The overarching plot seems to be a conflict with Gnost-Dural who seems to be looking into ending the Emperor for good. While the SW is dealing with Ziost, Gnost-Dural prepares to attack the hidden fortress where the Hand resides. The attack starts while the SW is reporting on their success in protecting the Hand. Once here Gnost-Dural captures all of the Servants except for Servant Twelve who goes to the SW for help. Servant Twelve drops the tidbit that if the hand was severed than (in this timeline) the Emperor can no longer revived. Gnost Dural seems unaware of this as he puts the Servants in stasis and carefully probes their minds to get information about the Emperor without hurting them.
Interesting to note that one of the quests is called Showdown on Ossus, so that might have been the inspiration for Gnost-Dural being on Ossus in Jedi Under Siege.
Also there is a dialogue that mentions the Sith Warrior putting down two Dark Council members. Not entirely sure which Dark Council members they were though. Checking the NPC list for all the Sith Warrior locations, the only Darths that are mentioned are Darth Baras and Darth Vowrawn. So I guess they were including Baras. I'm thinking that Vowrawn might have actually sided with Gnost-Dural? There is a line in a conversation during the Hand's Fortress that states, "His source remains a mystery--not even Darth Vowrawn or Zujen Vale knew our location." Zujen Vale is mentioned to be a traitor in a different conversation. So I guess Vowrawn being opposed to the Hand on Rishi might have been inspired by the original plan to make him opposed to the Emperor? And now I have Emperor Vowrawn on live instead. Funny how these things work.
There is also mention of the Sith Warrior making a speech during/after Ziost, which appears to have been about reform and appears to have been directed at the Dark Council. So I guess a LS option to try and put the fear of Wrath into the Dark Council after the Wrath did some house cleaning.
Rough Map

• ??? (The Final Revenge of Darth Baras?)
• Ziost to take back the planetary defenses and save the Voice
• Hand's Fortress to save the Hand
• Sleheyron to track down Gnost-Dural by following a data drop off
• ??? (Track down Gnost-Dural for final confrontation? Showdown on Ossus?)

Quests

• Off World/Multi World
  • End Times
  • Fracture
  • Showdown on Ossus
  • The Blood Splattered Talz
  • The Emperor and His Wrath
  • The Final Revenge of Darth Baras
  • (Bonus)
    • Breached and Boarded
    • Shattering the Jedi Seal
    • The Emperor's Secrets
• Ziost
  • Armageddon Approaches
  • The Fires of Ziost
  • The Hunt Begins
  • Voice in the Darkness
• Sleheyron
  • Echoes of Gnost-Dural
  • Hook Line and Sinker
  • Shutter
  • Solar Spear

Notable NPCs

• Off World/Multi World
  • Servants 1-11 - Whole family reunion in this one
  • Servant 12 - Only one of the Servants to not get captured. Spends some time on your ship after the Hand's Fortress is raided. She is completely uninterested in the SW's attempts to flirt. Unlike the Protectors for the JK or Rylo for the Trooper, Servant Twelve does not have a creature file for the ship, so she might have been cutscene only.
  • Master Gnost-Dural - Seems to have been the main "villain"
  • Darth Vowrawn showed up in Fracture
  • Darth Baras could show up in The Final Revenge of Darth Baras
  • Lord Qet - Vowrawn's apprentice shows up too
  • Zujen Vale - A Sith you meet on Ziost. Secretly works for Gnost-Dural
• Ziost
  • Armageddon Battalion - They return to assist the Sith Warrior
  • Voice of the Emperor - Here to be rescued
• Sleheyron
  • (Nobody that I recognize)

Sith Inquisitor

I have very little idea of what the SI was supposed to get up to. The SI seems to be hobnobbing with the Dark Council on Ziost, but beyond that I'm not quite sure what is going on. You did apparently get your own estate on Ziost though. So neat?
Quests

• Off World/Multi World
  • A Party to Remember
  • An Empire Divided
  • The Sanctum
  • (Bonus)
    • Crast's Betrayal
• Ziost
  • A Warm Welcome
  • Convergence
  • Lost Army
  • The Emperor's Tower

Notable NPCs

• Off World/Multi World
  • Dark Council - Between An Empire Divided and a Party to Remember, I think we have a good chunk of the Dark Council showing up. I don't remember who was on the Council at this time, so I'm just listing all the Darths in the two quests and hope I'm not giving anyone a promotion. Arkov, Marr, Soverus, Acina, Mortis, and Ravage.
  • Lord Qet - I guess Vowrawn is represented by his apprentice while he's off doing things (and being killed?) in the SW story?
• Ziost
  • Moff Pyron - Everyone's favorite lackey showed up
• Sleheyron
  • (no NPCs in files I have)

Imperial Agent

At least part of the IA storyline seemed to be focused on cleaning up after Malgus's rebellion as there are NPCs with Malgus in their name. I'm not sure whether that was the focus of the entire expansion or if you stumble onto something else while dealing with "the betrayer's spymaster."
Quests

• Off World/Multi World
  • The Beast Awakens
  • The Broken Colonel
  • The Nightmare
  • The Player of Games
  • The Vigil
• Ziost
  • The Betrayer's Spymaster
  • The Grandfather of Terror
  • The Hidden War
  • The Secret Compact
• Sleheyron
  • Doppleganger
  • The Catcher and the Cage
  • The Highest Authority

Notable NPCs

• Off World/Multi World
  • Ardun Kothe - Every IA's best friend can return! Although I guess it makes sense as I assume he becomes your handler if you give him the Black Codex
  • Shara Jenn - She would have returned...and gone by the name Nexus? I'm really not sure where that comes from. Weird thing is that her creature file is named shara_jenn, but for whatever reason IA has some NPCs with names. Had her creature file just been named Nexus, I would not have known it was her
  • Colonel Niar - This seems to have been a recurring character who even joins you on your ship (no creature file for him though). I've seen someone say that the IA storyline got converted to be the Imp Makeb storyline, and I suspect this NPC is where that idea originated from. I don't have any dialogue associated with the NPC, but I feel confident is not Katha Niar from Makeb since this NPC is a male (and the gender attribute is properly assigned on other unfinished NPCs). Sort of off topic, but it seems Katha Niar was originally named Kiar Onila.
  • Darth Marr - No idea what his role was, but he shows up
  • Ocean - I guess this is a code name for someone? You bring them to an escape shuttle at one point
• Ziost
  • (Nobody that I recognize)
• Sleheyron
  • Saresh - Not sure what her role here was

Bounty Hunter

I have no context to make sense of the info I have for BH. An NPC named Zedania seems to be important. I can't tell what his role in the story was though. I think in one mission we are saving him though? So a client I guess? Also someone named Brand that we get a lot of holocalls from, so either an ally or a very mouthy antagonist?
Quests

• Off World/Multi World
  • Meeting the Board
  • Nebula Station
  • Socio Pathfinding
  • (Bonus)
    • Resorting to Violence
    • Security Shakedown
• Ziost
  • All or Nothing
  • Biding Time
  • Poised to Strike
  • Set the Sky on Fire

Notable NPCs

• Off World/Multi World
  • Darth Tormen - You don't get to lose your boss off screen in this timeline
  • Darth Marr - Dude was busy in this expansion. I'm guessing he was meant as an alternative for Darth Tormen
• Ziost
  • (Nobody that I recognize)
• Sleheyron
  • (Nobody that I recognize)

Random Observations and Quotes

• HK-51 and the ship droid both got reactions to the content in this 2.0. I think HK actually has some in vanilla that is no longer available since 4.0, but Ship Droid has none except for maybe some environmental reactions on Makeb?
• Smuggler (romancing Risha) after getting buried alive
  • If we only have a little air left, I say we use it up vigorously. How's that for a plan?
  • Like all your schemes, it's poorly thought-out and likely to end in violence. I'm in.
• Treek was not originally in the plans for this version of 2.0 as she is missing from the majority of companion reactions, but a small number of lines that mention her appear so I think they had decided to add her in the future before the scope was cut
• Servant One to the Sith Warrior
  • We also bore witness to your speech. The Empire's transformation does not concern the Emperor, but others may prove less tolerant.
• Kira to JK who has been flirting around
  • I'm starting to think that's true. I've been having all these violent urges lately... usually whenever I see you, or Doctor Kantos. And when I see you together? I mean, wow... kind of makes me want to hit you upside the head, you know?
• Elara after a flirt option (not sure if it is a kiss or fade to black since I only have dialogue) while waiting for a shuttle
  • I'm going to file an official commendation for the Bothan shuttle scheduling authority.
• Smuggler talking to someone he saved on Coruscant
  • Randomly shooting Imperials is one of my trademark moves. Glad you enjoyed the show.

Conclusion

I hope you enjoyed looking at this what if. If anyone has any questions about what is in the files, I can try to answer, but I can't make promises that the answers to your questions exist in the files.

There’s a lot of backstory to this (over a year’s worth of lore if I’m being honest) so I’ll try my best to summarize it.
Last year I became friends with three other people: Naomi, Nick, and Adam (fake names). Before long, Adam and I started dating despite my reservations about it (different religions, not sure if I was into men, school stress, etc). After about a month I had had enough (he was super clingy and insecure and was dumping all those issues on me) and broke up with him. Around the same time we broke up was when Nick and Naomi started talking to each other but this was after Nick had rejected her once. Then over the summer he dumped her (idk why, never got the details despite asking).
Over the summer he and I bonded over going to the movies (we watched like the same three films but while everyone else in the group would vary, he and I were the common people). We had become really close platonically, he even got me a surprise birthday gift (MF DOOM ring). So by the end of summer Nick and I had matching lockscreens, matching headphones, matching rings (he got an MF DOOM ring for himself too), and matching interests. He was the best guy best friend a girl could ask for.
Then the school year started and Naomi still had a thing for Nick. She asked him a few weeks into school about his feelings and he stated that he “had feelings, just not strong enough to act on them”. So bam, third rejection. Despite that Naomi was really persistent even though she kept denying that she had feelings for him.
Her behavior irritated me because any time I would try to talk with Nick (even if it was for something as mundane as an assignment for class), she would tag along.
A few months pass and Naomi and I stop talking as much. Then after she goes on an MUN trip with Nick and Adam, she cuts me off for not being “supportive” (It’s a really long story, I can post the screenshots later on if yall want me to).
It’s after she cuts me off that I find out just how much she is disliked by a lot of people in our grade and that’s when I came to terms with just how much of an emotional manipulator she is (I saw the signs back when we were still friends and I think that helped me subconsciously stop talking to her).
So leave the friend group because I'm only on good terms with one person and that is Nick. And i didn’t notice this till recently but he progressively stopped talking to me both irl and online. Before we could talk forever on a topic but then it just turned to nothing but reels on his part.
Then the week before exams Naomi and Nick hard-launched each other by showing up to “dress-as-your-type-day” in each other’s clothes (though I and many others knew beforehand because Adam spilled the beans).
So news got out that they had been dating in secret since around the same time that Naomi cut me off (so like 5 months). And people were not happy (again because Naomi is severely disliked by a lot of people).
After this Adam “distanced himself” (his words, not mine) from Naomi because he was “disappointed” in her actions because she had broken her promise to “end the situation ship” between her and Nick, and kept it a secret from Adam.
Like Adam, I felt betrayed as well, because I had told Nick about how much Naomi had hurt me and others over the years (again, long story, but I can explain upon request) and he still decided to date and even fuck her.
After their big reveal, Nick tried ‘talking’ to me (mostly signaling with his eyes which is how we used to silently communicate back when we were friends) and I think he just expects me to accept and be supportive of them when I really am not.
And the last weeks of school had been me just avoiding conversation with him as much as possible (I would’ve talked had it been about him and Naomi but I could tell that he wasn’t going to talk about that a single time with me). And it’s been over a month since I’ve last replied to his messages (they’ve just been unrelated reels).
I get the sense that he’s realized that people don’t like his girlfriend and was scrambling to find at least one person not in their friend group who would still talk with him and that’s why he kept trying it with me but to no avail.
Anyways at our graduation anytime I would turn to talk to the person next to/behind me my eyes would have to pan across him first (because of how we’re seated) and that’s when we would try to maintain that eye contact (again to no avail because I decided to ignore him).
After the ceremony I caught him introducing her to his family (I was eating with my sister, not facing them, they were a few meters away and talking REALLY loudly about it; they even moved up closer to where I was [the only occupied table amongst at least six or seven empty ones])
And the night after we had a banquet dinner, where you can choose to sit with a friend/classmate. Where I was seated I could see directly across the table to Nick’s table, where his and Naomi’s families were sat. There was a gap between my family members sitting across from me and anytime I would face that direction to talk to them (instead of talking to someone at my side, for example) Nick would turn in his seat and stare directly at me in a manner which I know to mean he wanted some acknowledgment of his existence. (I might post like a diagram to help visualize this).
Anyways I explained all the eye contact instances that I can recall because I need you guys to understand just how often he does it and that it’s not coincidence or me just searching for signs.
So yeah I’ve ghosted him for over a month and now that we’ve graduated I’ve been considering making the first move and texting him about how I feel but I get the sense that he wouldn’t take it seriously enough. So part of me also wants to continue ignoring him (which will become a much easier task now that we are no longer attending the same school), even though I know it’s mean…
Would I Be The Asshole If I Continue Ignoring Him?

I know the title will garner a "No shit" reaction from a good number of people. Especially from those who have been with the Warhammer game's through all its ups and downs since day one. But hear me out for a second.
Yesterday I was messing around doing some unit testing and custom battles, and did a quick peek into the built in-Spell browser to double check the effects of a Lore of Beast spell. Pretty straightforward, I got the info I needed, and was about to click out when I noticed something that confused me a bit.
They changed the unit in the spell video from an Amber Wizard to a Beastmen Bray Shaman.
You'd be right to say "so what?" to this nothing burger of a change. But it kind of ruined their fun little detail of having the main 8 battle lores represented by the Empire colleges, while the other races represented their unique lores. It was a small but fun bit of flavor that was altered because the guy who updated the video when Beasts got a visual updates didn't get the memo. And I just couldn't help but think to myself "Damn, they couldn't even keep something as simple as that consistent."
While this is a ridiculously minor nitpick that is normally not even worth mentioning. I really do think it just symbolizes the main source of frustration I have with these games. CA has a habit of putting in an astounding level of effort, love, attention to detail, and dedication into these games. But are seemingly incapable of being consistent with that effort.
Take a look at Thrones of Decay. An amazing DLC, and looks to be the turnaround to Warhammer 3 we've all be hoping for. But it is such a ridiculously lopsided DLC in a lot of respects that it is almost laughable looking at some of it.
The Toad Dragon is an amazing unit, a real selling point for the Nurgle side of things and a unit that deserves the centerpiece position. But did it really need not one, not two, but THREE sync-kill animations? Whereas for the Empire, in the NULN DLC, they couldn't be assed to give Hochland Longrifles or Ironsides reload animations? And as amazing as the new Steam Tank is, they couldn't even have the guy on top reload his pistol, when they had fully animated crews for the Chaos Dwarf Warmachines?
Obviously time and budget is a thing, so comparing the Chaos Dwarfs to Thrones is not fair. But things like giving the Toad Dragon, as cool as a unit as it is, an almost excessive amount of detail, means you can't blame people for thinking it is coming at the expense of everything else. It's not really quality that's a problem, but the completely lopsided nature of CA's efforts that I think is really what frustrates people the most in this series. They do these amazing high effort moves in one instance, and are unable or unwilling to replicate that effort from then on. Or if they do it's in the most random of places, leaving us completely unable to predict if a new unit will be actually worth money, or if it is just a kitbash of things that already existed.

• Brought back Thorgrim's voice actor to record a cool boss speech and some diplomacy dialogue for the Chaos Dwarf DLC? Well you brought him in anyways, so why didn't you just use that as an opportunity to have him voice lines for the other Races too? But no, they had him record like 2 minutes of dialogue and cut it off there.
• Have cool dueling animations for the base Warhammer 2 melee LLs? Well they certainly would keep that up and make dueling animations for future lord packs, like between Ikit and Tehenauin in their DLC right? No? Oh maybe make some between Tehenauin and Skrolk then since the Clan Pestilens rivalry makes more sense? Oh, nope, instead just give the Prophet of Sotek a static arm that does sweet FA but hold a stone tablet, and then give Ikit a jetpack just cause.
• Give all the Warhammer 3 LLs, lords, and even generic heroes (at least for base game WH3 heroes) short speeches at the start of battle? And even add really neat voicelines for disbanding units now! Oh, but you know how LLs in Warhammer 2 had unique voices lines when you hovered over settlement occupation options? Yeah, we ain't doing that shit anymore... for some reason?
• Create really sick new helmets, weapons, capes, etc. for the God dedicated Chaos Lords and Heroes? But just decide not to alter the main Undivided body at all, even though just that tiniest bit of extra effort would stop dumbasses like me from questioning their value as DLC as much?
• Give Markus Wulfhart and the Huntsman General separate animation sets even though they are both just normal humans firing a bow? Yet they decided the Daemon Slayer wasn't worth the effort, so just slapped on the generic Slayer unit animations onto him and called it a day? We're three DLCs in from the mixed bag of Champions of Chaos, and they still haven't gotten the hint that we're disappointed with how WH3 generic lords/heroes compare to the WH 2's efforts.
• Gameplay is a bit more complicated. But all I'll say is that it is bizarre how CA will just take a unit direct from tabletop, like the Hierotitan, with zero creativity on their end. Yet for some reason take a unit like the Incarnate Elemental of Beasts, slap a Mortis Engine Flock of Doom onto it, and think that makes sense. And don't even get me started on Skill Trees and how there it feels like 4 people had 6 different ideas of how to make them across the various legendary/generic characters we have in this series.

I could keep going all day with examples moaning about CA doing "X thing at this instance, yet decided to skimp on it for this other time." Some really minor like the occupy voices thing, and other major ones that plenty of others have brought up over the years. But you get the picture.
I know some people will unironically go "But these quality differences is because of Skaven/Nurgle/Whatever bias!" But I don't really think that is the case. I think CA's lack of consistence is more straightforward lack of awareness, and being out of touch than an active bias towards particular things. Just being completely ignorant of how nonsensical it looks from the outside looking in. Incompetence rather than ill-intent ya know?
Honestly, I don't even have a particular goal with this post. Just wanted to put to words this nagging feeling I've had than try to hold CA's feet to the coals or whatever. But I really just hope that CA doesn't take Thrones as a complete 100% win for them, and that the shortcuts they took are acceptable just cause the community didn't catch on fire this time around. Sometimes I miss the days in Warhammer 1 where the DLC had a continuous upward trend in quality and ambition, with the new bars for quality being the expected standard for all content henceforth, rather than something they do away with on a whim with the next.

I'm a grade 11 student who'll attend her recognition ceremony this Thursday.
I noticed that my parents are too tired to attend my recognition ceremony. They hate crowded places, and I understand why, also because of other factors like the heat and all. Plus, they are physically tired from the graduation rehearsals in their school because they're both public school teachers, which basically makes sense, and I genuinely understand that.
It upsets me a bit to hear complains from them for attending the moving-up and recognition ceremonies of my sister and I. They made me feel like this event does not totally matter to them. It also does not help that they kept mentioning na academic awards like honors aren't important, cause what matters is that we learned something from school. Kasi parang they're implying na, so what kung may honors ka? Na this award does not guarantee my success in life. Like this award isn't worthy to be flexed, and I don't mind at all, actually. I just wanted them to recognize my small achievements. Is it too much to ask?
I just wanted to hear from them na they're proud of me, of us. I just want them to motivate me, that these awards--that my performance in school right now will somehow lead to my success. I just wanted to be recognized by them. I wanted to be appreciated.
I didn't even hear a 'Congrats' from them after my moving-up noong Grade 10. Instead, I was compared to my cousin na with high honors and may extra curricular awards. And so, sabi ko, next year pag SHS ko, I'll strive to earn that with high honors award. Turns out, when i stepped into shs during 2nd and 3rd quarter na high honors ako, their reaction seemed to be... intimidated? Like they couldn't believe na na-earn ko ang ganoong level? Afterwards, they spat out words na naman na walang kwenta ang mga ganoong award, na hindi ang mga 'to magma-matter in the long run if magtrabaho na and blablabla.
Is it a bad thing to seek validation from your parents?

I've gone down the rabbit hole on the New York Times online archive and it's amazing how little is there before the big "expose" in 2017. There are ZERO articles relating to some of the most widely reported UFO stories like Kenneth Arnold's Mount Ranier sighting. The first reference to the Roswell crash is a 1987 article is a culture piece about people's interest in UFOs.
Below is a long article from 1979 that could have been written today. The same misinformation from the government, the same promise to make a more scientific study (while promising that that study had not already been taking place....)

U.F.O. FILES: THE UNTOLD STORY

By Patrick Huyghe

• Oct. 14, 1979

Patrick Huyghe is a freelance writer in New York.
The Defense Department message bears the classification CONFIDENTIAL. “Subject: Suspicious Unknown Air Activity.” Dated Nov. 11, 1975, it reads:
“Since 28 Oct 75 numerous reports of suspicious objects have been received at the NORAD COC [North American Air Defense Combat Operations Center]. Reliable military personnel at Loring AFB [Air Force Base], Maine, Wurtsmith AFB, Michigan, Malmstrom AFB, [Montana], Minot AFB, [North Dakota], and Canadian Forces Station, Falconbridge, Ontario, Canada, have visually sighted suspicious objects.
“Objects at Loring and Wurtsmith were characterized to be helicopters. Missile site personnel, security alert teams and Air Defense personnel at Malmstrom Montana reported object which sounded like a jet aircraft. FAA advised ‘There were no jet aircraft in the vicinity.’ Malmstrom search and height finder radars carried the object between 9,000 ft and 15,600 ft at a speed of seven knots. ... F‐106s scrambled from Malmstrom could not make contact due to darkness and low altitude. Site personnel reported the objects as low as 200 ft and said that as the interceptors approached the lights went out. After the interceptors had passed the lights came on again. One hour after the F‐106s returned to base, missile site personnel reported the object increased to a high speed, raised in altitude and could not be discerned from the stars....
“I have expressed my concern to SAFOI [Air Force Information Office] that we come up soonest with a proposed answer to queries from the press to prevent overreaction by the public to reports by the media that may be blown out of proportion. To date efforts by Air Guard helicopters, SAC [Strategic Air Command] helicopters and NORAD F‐106s have failed to produce positive ID.”
Though officials have long denied that they take ‘flying saucers’ seriously, declassified documents now reveal extensive Government concern over the phenomenon.
Numerous daily updates kept the Joint Chiefs of Staff informed of these incursions by U.F.O.'s in the fall of 1975. Representatives of the Defense Intelligence Agency and the National Security Agency as well as a handful of other Government desks received copies of the National Military Command Center's reports on the incidents. One report said that an unidentified object “demonstrated a clear intent in the weapons storage area.” Though Air Force records show that the C.I.A. was notified several times of these penetrations over nuclear missile and bomber bases, the agency has acknowledged only one such notification. Subsequent investigations by the Air Force into the sightings at Loring Air Force Base, Maine, where the remarkable series of events began, did not reveal a cause for the sightings.
Despite official pronouncements for decades that U.F.O.'s were nothing more than misidentified aerial objects and as such were no cause for alarm, recently declassified U.F.O. records from the C.I.A., the F.B.I. and other Federal agencies indicate that, ever since U.F.O.'s made their appearance in our skies in the 1940's, the phenomenon has aroused much serious behind‐the‐scenes concern in official circles. Details of the intelligence community's protracted obsession with the subject of U.F.O.'s have emerged over the past few years with the release of long‐withheld Government records obtained through the Freedom of Information Act. Though these papers fail to resolve the U.F.O. enigma, they do manage to dispel many popular notions about the U.F.O. controversy, as well as give substance to a number of others. Official records now available appear to put to rest doubts that the Government knew more about U.F.O.'s than it has claimed over the past 32 years. From the start, it has been convinced that most U.F.O. sightings could be explained in terms of misidentified balloons, cloud formations, airplanes, ball lightning, meteors and other natural phenomena.
But the papers also show that the Government remains perplexed about the nagging residue of unexplained U.F.O. sightings, which amount to approximately 10 percent of all U.F.O. sightings reported. Do they pose a threat to national security? Are they just a funny‐looking cover for an airborne Soviet presence? Even the possibility that these unknowns could be evidence of extraterrestrial visitations has been given serious attention in Government circles. While official interest in U.F.O.'s has long been thought to be strictly the concern of the Air Force, the bulk of whose records has been open to public view for nearly a decade, the recently released papers on U.F.O.'s indicate otherwise. The Departments of the Army, Navy, State and Defense, and the Defense Intelligence Agency, the National Security Agency, the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the F.B.I., the C.I.A. and even the Atomic Energy Commission produced U.F.O. records over the years. Many of these agencies still do, and many of their documents remain classified. But it is the C.I.A. that appears to have played the key role in the controversy, and may even be responsible for the Government's conduct in U.F.O. investigations throughout the
U.F.O's have been the province of the nation's intelligence community ever since the beginning of the cold war, when the notion took hold that some flying saucers might actually represent a secret, technologically advanced, foreign weapons system. “Every time we were concerned,” recalls Herbert Scoville Jr., a former chief of the C.I.A.'s Office of Scientific Intelligence, “it was because we wanted to know: Did the Russians do it?”
As the cold war gave rise to the fears of the McCarthy era, official concern over U.F.O.'s even led to the surveillance of several private U.F.O. organizations (as many of their members have long insisted) and to the scrutiny of dozens of individuals suspected of subversive U.F.O. activities.
Perhaps most telling of all, the Government documents on U.F.O.'s reveal that despite official denials to the contrary, Federal agencies continue to monitor the phenomenon to this day.
The monumental task of unearthing the newest batch of records on U.F.O.'s from a bureaucracy that has for years denied their existence can be traced to the efforts of a handful of inquisitive individuals who, armed with the Freedom of Information Act, set off in the mid‐70's on a paper chase of U.S. Government documents on U.F.O.'s. They include Bruce S. Maccabee, a Silver Spring, Md., physicist working for the Navy, who has managed to obtain the release of more than 1,200 pages of documents on U.F.O.'s from the F.B.I.; W. Todd Zechel of Prairie du Sac, Wis.; Robert Todd of Ardmore, Pa.; Larry W. Bryant of Arlington, Va.; and Brad C. Sparks, a student la astrophysics at Berkeley whose five‐year pursuit of the C.I.A.'s U.F.O. file eventually provided the foundation for a 3round‐breaking Freedom of Information lawsuit filed by Ground Saucer Watch (G.S.W.), an Arizona‐based U.F.O.
At the request of G.S.W. director William H. Spaulding, Peter Gersten, an attorney in the New York firm of Rothblatt, Rothblatt & Seijas, filed a civil action against the C.I.A. in December 1977 demanding all U.F.O. records in the agency's possession. The suit seemed to have achieved its goal when late last year the agency released about 900 documents — nearly 900 pages of memos, reports and correspondence that attest to the agency's long involvement in U.F.O. matters. But the civil action has not seen its final day in court.
By Gersten's account, the agency has arbitrarily withheld documents, made deletions without merit, and failed to conduct a proper search for U.F.O. materials. The agency's current actions, he says, perpetuate its 30‐year policy of deliberate deception and dishonesty about U.F.O.'s. “What has been released to us seems to have been rather carefully selected,” says Gersten. “We suspect that the agency is withholding at least 200 more documents than the 57 they have admitted they are keeping from us to protect intelligence sources.” Victor Marchetti, a former executive assistant to the agency's deputy director, agrees with Gersten. The entire exercise, Marchetti wrote recently in a magazine article, “has the same aroma of the agency's previous messy efforts to hide its involvement in drugs and mind‐control operations, both prime examples of a successful intelligence cover‐up.”
The first sighting to be labeled a “flying saucer” by the press occurred on June 24, 1947, when an Idaho businessman flying his plane near Mount Rainier observed nine disc‐shaped objects making undulating motions “like a saucer skipping over water.” As early as World War II, Allied bomber pilots had told of “balls of light” that followed their flights over Japan and Germany. A U.S. Eighth Army investigation concluded that the of “mass hallucination.”
These and other incidents were reported in a 1973 book by David Michael Jacobs, “The UFO Controversy in America,” which until the recent release of Government documents was the most comprehensive reconstruction of the Government's U.F.O. involvement. When Scandinavians reported cigar‐shaped objects in 1946, U.S. Army intelligence suspected that the Russians had developed a secret weapon with the help of German scientists from Peenemiinde. The C.I.A., then known as the Central Intelligence Group, secretly began keeping tabs on the subject. When the unknown objects returned to the skies, this time over the United States in the summer of 1947, the Army Air Force set out to determine what the objects were. Within weeks, Brig. Gen. George F. Schulgen of Army Air Corps Intelligence requested the F.B.I.'s assistance “in locating and questioning the individuals who first sighted the so‐called flying discs....” Undoubtedly swayed by flaring cold‐war tensions, Schulgen feared that “the first reported sightings might have been by individuals of Communist sympathies with the view to causing hysteria and fear of a secret Russian weapon.” J. Edgar Hoover agreed to coopreau have “full access to discs recovered.” The Air Force's behind‐thescenes interest contrasted sharply with its public stance that the objects were products of misidentifications and imaginative populace. A security lid was imposed on the subject in July 1947, hiding potentially “embarrassing situation” the following month, when both the Air Force and the F.B.I. began suspecting they might actually be investigating our own secret weapons. High‐level reassurances were obtained that this was not so.
By the end of the summer, the F.B.I. had “failed to reveal any indication of subversive individuals being involved in any of the reported sightings.” A RESTRICTED Army letter that found its way to Hoover's desk said that the bureau's services actually had been enlisted to relieve the Air Forces “of the task of tracking down all the many instances which turned out to be ashcan covers, toilet seats and whatnot.” Incensed, Hoover moved quickly to discontinue the bureau's U.F.O. investigations.
In September of that year, the Commanding General of the Army Air Force received letter from the Army Chief of Staff Lieut. Gen. Nathan F. Twining, saying that “the phenomenon reported is of something real and not visionary or fictitious,” that the objects appeared to be disc‐shaped, “as large as man‐made aircraft,” and “controlled either manually, automatically or remotely.” At Twining's request, project “Sign” was established.
“Sign” failed to find any evidence that the objects were Soviet secret weapons and before long submitted an unofficial “Estimate of the Situation,” classified TOP SECRET, which indicated that U.F.O.'s were of interplanetary origin. The estimate eventually reached Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Hoyt S. Vandenberg, who rejected it for lack of proof. “Sign's” inconclusive final report remained classified for the next 12 years.
After “Sign,” the Air Force continued to collect U.F.O. data under the code name “Grudge.” This six‐month project found no evidence of foreign scientific development and therefore no direct threat to national security. It did, however, stress that the reported sightings could be dangerous. “There are indications that the planned release of related psychological propaganda would cause a form of mass hysteria,” the report stated. “Employment of these methods by or against an enemy would yield similar results ... governmental agencies interested in psychological warfare should be informed of the results of this study."
A press release following the termination of “Grudge” allowed the public to believe that the Air Force was no longer interested in U.F.O.'s. But the Air Force continued to collect reports through normal intelligence channels until a dramatic sighting of a U.F.O. at the Army Signal Corps radar center in Fort Monmouth, N.J., in 1951 led to the reactivation of “Grudge.” The Air Force project was renamed “Blue Book” in 1952, a year that saw a record number of U.F.O. reports.
The situation got out of hand during the summer of 1952. On the morning of July 28, the Washington Post revealed that U.F.O.'s had been tracked on radar at Washington National Airport, the second such incident in a week. Reporters stormed Air Force headquarters in the Pentagon, where switchboards were jammed for days with U.F.O. inquiries. Military installations across the country handled such a volume of reports that “regular intelligence work had been affected,” reported The New York Times.
These events prompted action at C.I.A. headquarters, apparently at a request “from the Hill.” From the start, the agency's involvement was to be kept secret. An August 1 C.I.A. memo recommended that “no indication of C.I.A. interest or concern reach the press or public, in view of their probable alarmist tendencies to accept such interest as ‘confirmatory’ of the soundness of ‘unpublished facts’ in the hands of the U.S. Government.”
The C.I.A.'s Office of Scientific Intelligence (O.S.I.) found that the Air Force's investigation of the U.F.O. phenomenon was not sufficiently rigorous to determine the exact nature of the objects in the sky. Neither did the Air Force deal adequately with the potential danger of U.F.O.‐induced mass hysteria, or the fact that our air vulnerability was being seriously affected by the U.F.O. problem. O.S.I. chief H. Marshall Chadwell thought that our nation's defenses were running the increasing risk of false alert and, worse yet, “of falsely identifying the real as phantom.” He suggested that a national policy be established “as to what should be told the public” and, furthermore, that immediate steps be taken to improve our current visual and electronic identification techniques so that “instant positive identification of enemy planes or missiles can be made.” Ever vigilant, the C.I.A. was keeping an eye on the possibility that U.F.O.'s could be of Soviet origin.
By the winter of 1952, Chadwell had drafted National Security Council proposal calling on program to solve the problem of instant positive identification of U.F.O.'s. In a memo that accompanied the proposal, Chadwell urged that the reports be given “immediate attention.” He thought that “sightings of unexplained objects at great altitudes and traveling at high speeds in the vicinity of major U.S. defense installations are of such nature that they are not attributable to natural phenomena or known types of aerial vehicles.” He said that O.S.I. was proceeding with the establishment of a consulting group “of sufficient competence and stature to ... convince the responsible authorities in the community that immediate research and development on this subject must be undertaken.”
But C.I.A. Director Gen. Walter B. Smith's interest apparently lay elsewhere. In a letter to the Director of the Psychological Strategy Board, he expressed a desire to discuss “the possible offensive and defensive utilization of these phenomena for psychological warfare purposes.” Only later did Director Smith authorize recruiting an advisory committee of outside consultants.
The scientific panel met for four days beginning Jan. 14, 1953. Chaired by Dr. H.P. Robertson, an expert in physics and weapons systems, the panel essentially bestowed the scientific seal of approval on previously established official policy regarding U.F.O.'s. The distinguished panelists felt that all the sightings could be identified once all the data were available for a proper evaluation — in other words, the phenomena, according to the panel's report, were not “beyond the domain of present knowledge of physical sciences.” Neither did the panelists find U.F.O.'s to be a direct threat to national security, though they believed that the volume of U.F.O. reports could clog military intelligence channels, precipitate panic, and lead defense personnel to ignore real indications of hostile action. The panel worried about Soviet manipulation of the phenomenon; that the reports could make the public vulnerable to “possible enemy psychological warfare.” The real danger, they concluded, was the reports themselves.
Fearing that the myth of U.F.O.'s might lead to inappropriate actions by the American public, the panelists decided that a “broad educational program integrating efforts of all concerned agencies” must be undertaken. They sought to strip U.F.O.'s of their “aura of mystery” through this program of “training and ‘debunking.’ “ The program would result in the “proper recognition of unusually illuminated objects” and in a “reduction in public interest in ‘flying saucers.’ “ The panelists recommended that their mass‐media program have as its advisers psychologists familiar with mass psychology and advertising experts, while Walt Disney Inc. animated cartoons and such personalities as Arthur Godfrey would help in the educational drive. To insure complete control over the situation, the panel members suggested that flying‐saucer groups be “watched because of their potentially great influence on mass thinking if widespread sightings should occur. The apparent irresponsibility and the possible use of such groups for subversive purposes should be kept in mind.”
The panel's recommendations called for nothing less than the domestic manipulation of public attitudes. Whether these proposals were acted upon, the C.I.A. will not say. But the report was circulated among the top brass at the Air Technical Intelligence Center, the C.I.A.'s Board of National Estimates (of which Hoover was a member), the C.I.A.'s bureau chiefs, the Secretary of Defense, the chairman of the National Security Resources Board, and the director of the Federal Civil Defense Administration, who eventually sent a representative to meet with C.I.A. officials in order to “implement the appropriate aspects of the Panel's Report as applicable to Civil Defense.”
The Government's efforts in the 50's and 60's to squelch public apprehension over U.F.O.'s went beyond debunking and even touched the fiber of constitutionally protected free speech. According to author David Michael Jacobs, in 1953 the Air Force pressured Look magazine into publishing disclaimers throughout an article by retired Maj. Donald E. Keyhoe entitled “Flying Saucers From Outer Space.” Then again, in 1965, the Army — in a prepublication review denied clearance for a U.F.O.related article by one of its employees, Larry W. Bryant, a technical editor, until he took the issue to court.
Meanwhile, the C.I.A. and the F.B.I. proceeded routinely in the surveillance of U.F.O. organizations and U.F.O. enthusiasts. People with U.F.O. interests were checked out by the F.B.I. at the request of the C.I.A., the Air Force, or private citizens inquiring about possible subversive activities. None caused as much consternation as the case of Major Keyhoe and the organization he directed, the National Investigations Committee on Aerial Phenomena (NICAP). The C.I.A. appears to have had a protracted interest in NICAP, which was founded in 1956 and utilized by Keyhoe as an organizational tool for challenging the alleged Air Force cover‐up on U.F.O.'s. Both the C.I.A. and the Air Force were upset by NICAP's wide‐ranging influence. Its prestigious board of directors included, among others, Vice Adm. Roscoe Hillenkoetter, the first C.I.A. Director (1947‐1950). “The Air Force representatives believe that much of the trouble ... with Major Keyhoe ... could be alleviated,” states a C.I.A. memo dated May 16, 1958, “if the Major did not have such important personages as Vice Admiral R. H. Hillenkoetter, U.S.N. (Ret.) ... on the board. ...” The Air Force suggested that if the Admiral were shown the SECRET panel report he might understand and take “appropriate actions.” Whether or not the Air Force got through to the admiral, Hillenkoetter
The 60's saw further C.I.A. interest in NICAP. After flurry of Washington‐area sightings in 1965, the agency contacted NICAP about seeing some of its case files on the matter. Richard H. Hall, then NICAP assistant director, chatted with a C.I.A. agent in the NICAP office about the sightings, NICAP's methodology, and Hall's background. The agent's memo on the visit suggests that the C.I.A. had some role in mind for Hall, predicated upon his being granted a security clearance. Nothing apparently came of the suggestion. A later set of C.I.A. papers reveals an inter. est in NICAP's organizational structure and notes that “this group included some ex‐C.I.A. and Defense Intelligence types who advise on investigative techniques and NICAP‐Government relations.” There are presently three former C.I.A. employees on the NICAP board of directors, including Charles Lombard, a congressional aide to Senator Barry Goldwater, who is himself a NICAP board member; and retired U.S. Air Force Col. Joseph Bryan III. Bryan feels, as he did back in 1959 when he joined the board, that U.F.O.'s are interplanetary. NICAP's current president is Alan Hall, a former C.I.A. covert employee for 30 years.
In 1966, mounting discontent from members of the press. Congress and the scientific community compelled the Air Force to commission an 18month scientific study of U.F.O.'s under the direction of Edward U. Condon, professor of physics at the University of Colorado. The politically expedient study, in which onethird of the 91 cases examined remained unidentified, reiterated official policy with one novel twist: U.F.O.'s “educationally harmed” schoolchildren who were allowed to use science study time to read books and magazine articles about U.F.O.'s. Condon wanted teachers to withhold credit from any student U.F.O. project. The Air Force took the cue and disbanded project “Blue Book” in 1969.
Less than a decade later, the White House, perhaps in an attempt to make good Jimmy Carter's campaign promise to tell all about U.F.O.'s, suggested via science advisor Frank Press that possibly NASA could undertake a review of any significant new findings since Condon's study. NASA examined the offer, but saw no way to attack the problem on a scientific basis without physical evidence. They envisioned a public‐relations nightmare if they were to accept such a project, and so rejected it. A frank, in‐house evaluation of NASA's options, however, noted that a handsoff attitude only begged the question. So in good spirit, the space agency offered to examine any piece of physical evidence brought to its attention. That position led one Federal aviation official to comment: “If you get a piece of the thing, fine. But don't bother me with anything else.”
These days, the Air Force admits to nothing more than a “transitory interest” in the phenomenon, although military directives still exist for reporting U.F.O.'s.
The C.I.A. is still wary of the possibility that U.F.O.'s. may be of Soviet origin. “The agency's interest,” says Katherine Pherson, a public‐affairs officer for the C.I.A., “lies in its responsibility to forewarn principally of the possibility that a foreign power might develop a new weapons system that might exhibit phenomena that some might categorize as a U.F.O. But there is no program to actively collect information on U.F.O.'s.” The agency's interest cannot be denied, however, as two 1976 memos reveal.
The first, dated April 26, states: “It does not seem that the Government has any formal program in progress for the identification/solution of the U.F.O. phenomena. Dr. [name deleted] feels that the efforts of independent researchers, [phrase deleted], are vital for further progress in this area. At the present time, there are offices and personnel within the agency who are monitoring the U.F.O. phenomena, but again, this is not currently on an official basis.”
Another memo, dated July 14, and routed to the deputy chief in the Office of Development and Engineering, reads: “As you may recall, 1 mentioned my own interest in the subject as well as the fact that DCD [Domestic Collection Division] has been receiving U.F.O. related material from many of our S & T (Science and Technology] sources who are presently conducting related research. These scientists include some who have been associated with the Agency for years and whose credentials remove them from the ‘nut’ variety.”
If nothing else, the success of the U.F.O. paper chase may have lent U.F.O.'s a measure of respectability that has eluded the subject for the past third of a century. Though it appears that no U.F.O. sighting has ever represented an airborne Soviet or foreign threat, the possibility that such an event could occur remains foremost in the coldwar‐conscious Government mind. Should that threat come to pass, military officials believe, our nation's sophisticated defense system would know about it before someone getting a glass of milk in the middle of the night sees the threat hovering outside the kitchen window. Or so we are made to understand the Air Force's seemingly nonchalant advice to the public: “If you see a U.F.O. and you feel the situation warrants it, call your local police.”

My partner (32M) and I (26F) got engaged in November. When we first got engaged there was some excitement from my family and his, but drama seemed to overshadow this pretty quickly, and from both sides of our family. My partner is less affected by this than me, but still incredibly supportive. The weight of all of this is enough that we wanted a ceremony, and that was somewhat important to my partner, who voiced this to me. I've been a fan of eloping the whole time since I knew drama was inevitable, but didn't expect it to this this level. We had originally planned for a fall proper wedding, but my brother got engaged and now has a date planned for this time in my home state.
For example, the week we announced our engagement, my FMIL exploded on me saying I'm stealing her son and called me a bunch of names while drunk. We had an altercation over that where FH had my back and was an absolute gift, where FMIL was shouting at me and I was trying to leave. I posted about this on another account. She's since made comments about her being there for our day being the most important thing about it, and telling us where we need to have it to take her. Normally these comments wouldn't bother me, but after the remarks about stealing her son and saying lots of hurtful things in the altercation, they just get me angry.
On the side of my family, it's been a mess and a lot from my parents. The pressure is overwhelming, and most of my family is impossible to communicate with. I know I have my faults, but it seems the blame for their actions always falls back on me. Their actions got to the point where I just gave up planning.
My dad hasn't been a large part of my life since I was 13, and has been in and out of my life since. He's definitely not a father figure, and most of our interactions involve me being the parent in our relationship, which has always been the status quo. When we told my father of our engagement, his only concern was bringing the girl he was seeing at the time. He didn't congratulate us, didn't express any excitement, and in my own way, I was hoping he'd show some interest in who would walk me down the aisle, and was just disappointed here.
My mom generously offered to help pay for the ceremony, as my father hasn't contributed anything financially in 15 years. We were planning to pay for this on our own, so this was a very kind surprise, but not one we have accepted or inquired past the initial offer, as we had not set a firm plan. That all said, even prior to the offer, my mom put overwhelming pressure on me to personally announce my engagement to each of my aunts and uncles on her side of the family, which is a bit strained for me. To put this in perspective, my birthday has been neglected and forgotten for years while I see them celebrating my sister, or cousins. None texted me with events, to see how I was after a direct hit from a natural disaster where my town was destroyed, after my early graduation from college, anything. I also observed extreme favoritism when i was a kid towards others, but always felt this was minimized when I shared it with my parents. I complied with the announcement so as not wanting hurt feelings, but felt frustrated. When we spoke with my mom after all this when visiting, I was insistent on my wish since getting engaged for a small wedding, free of those who weren't active in my life. My mom insisted this extended family had to be there after offering to help pay, and I ceased all discussion of a date after this for a while.
My sister had contacted me to insist she be a bridesmaid, and then also to tell me dates I'm "not allowed to have a wedding" as she was considering a concert the weekend we were discussing. She also told me how self centered I was for planning the wedding in the state my partner and I live in, alongside some other hurtful comments. She's since apologized but I can't forget what was said. This was the nail in the coffin for me to just feel so crappy to not want to plan. She's also in school and working part time, so I doubt she would travel to attend as she's indirectly said as much.
Since, questions from extended family and my partner's family have plagued me with pressure, and I didn't want any of this. All questions ask us to schedule this wedding around their plans, and its just overwhelming. They've all been informed no date is set and they'll know when one is set what to expect, but it doesn't end. I started talking to my partner about a courthouse wedding or just eloping, and he's been very kind and willing to make this work. A few weeks ago, I brought up an August courthouse to my mom, who insisted we move it around my cousins wanting to visit for a concert. These cousins alongside my mom dissed my whole career validity as a microbiologist during covid, and my mom went online agreeing. I refused to schedule my wedding around persons who did this but demand adoration for their career (they've started drama over my support of BLM, one is a police officer who claims I don't speak to him because of such despite his and his wifes open blasting of my career field.)
Today, I brought up to my mom how much notice she would need to be present for my wedding if it were to be small and where I live since the August date my FH wanted was apparently no good. She stated a month, and I told her this would be very doable. After, she followed up with letting me know she still probably would not make it, despite spending our whole call discussing how she was losing weight for my step brothers special day. The ensuing text conversation was all about how she can't win... I'm just crushed and feel like calling off my engagement as I'm so exhausted with a day for me and more so my partner being treated this way. They critique us for not planning, but then respond like this for planning. I told my mom then we may just elope or have to wait another year if she insists on doing it her way. I've not taken up any offer for financial help, and not even involving her in the planning process (save for trying to find a date to have at least one loved one there for me) so this cant be held over my head .. AITAH? What do I do?

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Votes:
Axel - 7
At the elimination ceremony, Chris goes through his usual speech before announcing that in a shocking twist, today’s vote is completely unanimous. He calls everybody but Axel to get a marshmallow, and Dawn asks her why she voted herself. Axel explains that she and Shawn thought that if she voted herself, the vote would come down to a tie so that Chris would decide who goes home instead of her.
Axel then bids farewell to her friends before walking down the dock of shame. After she leaves on the boat of losers, Chris hands Sammy a vhs tape telling her that it’ll give some closure and maybe cause some drama, giving her the instructions: “You’ll know who this should go to.” This leaves Sammy confused as Chris turns to the camera for his outro.
Chris: Will Max ever have a change of heart? How much longer can Zoey withstand the torture that is Heather? And what secrets does the vhs tape hold? Find out next time, on Total Drama Island!
In-world votes:
Axel - Trent, Dawn, Sammy, Damien, Axel
Brunch Of Disgustingness
The episode opens with the Killer Bass returning to their cabin after the elimination ceremony. Sammy asks what the vhs tape is for, but no one knows. Damien tells her that it has to be important considering Chris himself gave it to her, but he doesn’t know where they could even find a vhs player. Dawn’s more confused about what Chris meant by “You’ll know who this should go to.” and asks why he wouldn’t just give it to whoever needs it. Sammy breaks out into a yawn, so Trent suggests that they all get some sleep and worry about it in the morning, so the four of them say goodbye before going to their separate parts of the cabin.
In the morning, Chris summons the campers to the mess hall, and Owen complains when breakfast isn’t waiting for them. Chris reassures Owen that there’ll be plenty of food soon, before he and Chef mischievously laugh. After regaining his composure, Chris congratulates the contestants on being the last ten remaining in the game, and that next week the teams will become one. Chris announces that with this, the guys and girls will each have one cabin to themselves, and that today’s challenge will be a battle of the sexes. He then says that the campers will have some time to settle down before everyone gets a bite to eat, but he and Chef start laughing again.
Trent and Damien welcome the Gopher guys with open arms and they start bonding over immature jokes. Meanwhile, the girls aren’t as friendly, as Heather shoots angry glares at Dawn and Sammy behind their backs, much to the embarrassment of Zoey.
Confessional:
Zoey: You’d think Heather could at least go five minutes without starting something, but nope! Already she’s lined up Dawn and Sammy like they’re set for execution!
Chris announces that he has good news: No one will be eliminated this week, and instead the challenge is only for a reward. The contestants cheer, and Chris decides to let everyone move their belongings to their new accommodations.
As everyone heads to the cabins, Heather complements Sammy’s hair to get on her good side. Sammy thanks Heather for the compliment, but Dawn is all but impressed.
In the Gopher cabin, Owen hugs Katie goodbye, and insists Max join them. However, Max says that evil doesn’t do hugs. Owen forces Max into a bear hug anyway, much to his dismay. Katie then asks him if he’s feeling okay, and Max questions why she would be asking that.
After packing up his stuff, Shawn heads to the Bass cabin, but is stopped by Heather along the way.
Heather: Look, just because we’re not on the same team anymore doesn’t mean you’re done working for me.
Shawn: Our deal was that I’d work with you. I’m still not part of your alliance.
Heather: With, for, all in the same if you want me to protect you.
Dawn and Sammy arrive in what is now the girls cabin, and Heather continues to sweet-talk Sammy. Dawn asks Zoey how two-faced Heather is, and Zoey rates her a seven. Out of five. Katie comments on how they’re probably getting along way better than the guys, and we cut to them partying over music and pop. Owen lets out a burp, so Shawn responds with an even bigger one, causing one of the doors to shake off its hinges, and even knocking over some trees in the distance. The guys are blown away, and Trent suggests they make Shawn captain. They all agree and cheer Shawn on for a speech.
The contestants return to the mess hall where Chris announces the challenge. He is interrupted by Max asking if they finally made breakfast, causing him and Chef to laugh yet again. Heather is annoyed and asks them why they keep laughing, so Chris tells the campers that the challenge is called The Brunch Of Disgustingness. Everyone will be served a nine course meal, and everyone on each team must finish the dish to get a point, and of course, most points at the end wins. However, everything being served is to be extremely gross. Chris explains that the winning team will get to spend two days at a five-star resort being pampered to their liking, while the losers are stuck at Camp Wawanakwa with Chef.
The guys and girls are presented with the first course: meatballs. Literally. As Owen chows down on his plate, Chef explains that these are beef testicles, causing Owen to frantically spit the food out onto Damien. The girls are also grossed out, but the boys can’t muster up the courage to eat something so personal, so they begin to fall behind. Eventually it’s down to Dawn, who refuses to eat meat, and the rest of the guys, who eventually give up on the inhumane act. Heather tries to pressure Dawn into eating the testicles but Dawn won’t budge. Chris says that while neither team completed the meal, the females performed better, so he gives them a point. He then tells the teams that from now on, the entire team must finish the food to get a point, with no exceptions.
Confessional:
Heather: Dawn’s “morals” might cause us to lose the challenge. I can’t let that tree hugger keep me away from a pedicure.
Chris reveals the next meal to be pizza, which gets the guys excited. However, it just so happens to be that the toppings are live grasshoppers, jellyfish, and live anchovies. Zoey is worried about how dangerous eating jellyfish sounds, but Chris insists that the ones Chef put on the pizzas are completely harmless, causing Chef to look suspiciously nervous all of a sudden. Owen easily gulps down his slice, and reaches for a second, but Shawn stops him, explaining that everyone needs to have a slice. Katie takes a bite of the pizza, and ends up freaking out when she realises she bit a grasshopper’s head off.
Confessional:
Trent: When I was a kid, my parents used to hold me down and force feed me broccoli. They only did it because broccoli is… (Gags) Good for you.
Trent is the last member of the boys to eat the pizza, so he tells Shawn to pin him down while Damien feeds him the pizza, and to not stop no matter how much he panics and fights. Shawn and Damien exchange glances before agreeing, and we see Shawn holding down Trent as he explains that it was just a joke. Damien ends up feeding Trent the pizza slice, winning the guys their first point.
Confessional:
Trent: It wasn’t that bad. I was playing it up for the cameras, you know, to boost ratings. I don’t really mind beef testicles or live grasshopper pizza with jellyfi- (Throws up)
Next up, earthworms covered in snail slime and hairballs. And although the girls put up a good fight, the guys use blindfolds and clothespins to help them believe they’re eating spaghetti. Somehow, it works, scoring them another point.
Chris says that no multi-course meal is complete without soup, so he reveals the next dish to be french bunion soup with hangnail crackers. Sammy decides that if the boys can use blindfolds, the girls can use some tricks of their own. She grabs some funnels from Chef’s kitchen and uses them to down the soup without tasting it. The funnels outspeed even Owen’s appetite, so the girls tie it up.
We then go through a montage of the last five courses. Giant balls of pre-chewed gum, point to guys. Skunk stink smoothies, point to girls. Sandals with caulk icing, point to guys. Garbage can soup, point to girls.
Eventually the campers make it to the final round, and since the score is tied four to four, Chris reminds them that whoever wins this round gets the reward. The campers wait to see what horrible concoction they must eat next, but Chef brings out what looks like normal hot dogs. Chris announces that it’s actually dolphin wieners, but the news doesn’t seem to make much of a difference. However, Dawn is quite upset, saying that eating animals is horrible enough, but dolphins cross the line. Similarly, Damien refuses to eat the hot dog because he finds dolphins super cute and can’t stand to eat one.
Confessional:
Chef: I slave over a hot stove cooking dolphin, no appreciation.
Seeing as neither team gets a point to break the tie, Chris decides that they’ll go to an eat-off. He asks the team who they think has the strongest stomach out of them, and after some consideration, the girls pick Zoey while the boys pick Owen without a second thought. Chris says that whoever can drink more glasses of blended cockroach wins the reward for their team. The two start downing the disgusting drink, and are horrified at its taste. When there’s only three shot glasses left, something gets stuck in Zoey’s throat, giving Owen the opportunity to drink the rest, winning the challenge.
Zoey then pukes up the drinks, and finds what she was choking on. Being a completely intact cockroach. This display causes some of the other campers to hurl as well, which in turn ends up being a chain reaction of people emptying their bowels. Even Chris and Chef start gagging as they wait for everyone to recover.
Chris narrates the aftermath of the challenge, with the guys getting on a yacht while the girls are left behind. And as Chris does his outro, the cameras zoom in on one specific object: The vhs tape.
Returnee Candidates:
Duncan - 3
Leshawna - 2
Scott - 1
Lightning - 1
And the wheel of names picks…
https://preview.redd.it/ai31d0gw663d1.png?width=662&format=png&auto=webp&s=098c2b4772743ec30a3472ae1413d1af530d56bf
Immunity Nominees:
Shawn - 2
Damien - 2
Sammy - 1
Dawn - 1
Tiebreaker results:
https://preview.redd.it/lpq1zzu0763d1.png?width=641&format=png&auto=webp&s=20842c6a59b4a745b1067dbae5a833bbf80146a2
https://preview.redd.it/dw4vpx05763d1.png?width=910&format=png&auto=webp&s=0cbf9cd7416f4a82c877e427b1ab5fce0305044b
No Pain, No Game
The episode opens with Dawn and Sammy discussing strategy on the beach. Dawn tells Sammy that she can’t trust Heather, but she’s unconvinced. She explains how Heather’s been treating her nicely, and doesn’t listen when Dawn tries to tell her that Heather’s just getting on her good side in order to use her.
A yacht pulls up to the dock, and the guys are dropped off. They’re bragging to each other about how pampered they were, and end up inadvertently making the girls annoyed with them for showing off. Owen brings a tray of chocolates for Katie, but Heather slaps it out of his hands and into the water.
The contestants then hear Chris announce over the loudspeakers that they have finally reached the merge, and that it is every camper for themselves. He then says that he has a little surprise for them as they hear a horn off in the distance. Another, smaller yacht has appeared, carrying Duncan and Chase. Chris explains that they are back by popular demand, and will be returning to the game. Heather asks how they were ever favorites with the audience, and Chris admits that they aren’t, but he and the producers liked them. Shawn reminds Chris of how he always said that no one could ever return to the island, so Chris tells Shawn that he lied.
The yacht stops at the dock, and while Chase seems pretty happy to be back on the show, Duncan is not. He notices that Axel isn’t there and makes fun of her for being eliminated right after him. Shawn defends Axel and insults Duncan back, causing them to almost get into a fight. However Chase breaks the two up and tells them to save the fighting for the next challenge.
Confessional:
Shawn: I can’t believe Duncan insulted Axel like that! She’s such a great person- I mean such a great survivalist. I’m gonna make him pay for that.
Chase: Apparently, when Emma told everyone on national television that I cut her brakes, I lost hundreds of subscribers! So now that I’m back on this show, I’m going to pull pranks and do the most outrageous stunts! I’m sure Chris will thank me once this show's ratings go up.
Chris tells the campers to meet him at the outdoor amphitheater for the challenge, which Owen is excited for. He attempts to give Max a high five, but Max reminds Owen about how Chris said it’s everyone for themselves. On their way to the amphitheater, Damien asks Dawn to fill him in on what happened while he was away.
Dawn: Heather’s been acting nice to Sammy, but she’s just trying to manipulate her.
Damien: Aren’t you and Sammy friends? I’m sure she’d understand if you told her.
Dawn: I tried, but I guess that meeting Trent made her more trusting of other people, because she at least wants to give Heather a chance.
Damien: Great. With no more teams, there’s nothing stopping Heather from sabotaging everyone’s game. It'd be a nice change of pace if she turned out to be a good person.
Dawn: I highly doubt it. I can sense in her aura that her anger stems back to her childhood.
Damien: I always forget that you can do that soul reading thing. It still creeps me out.
At the amphitheater, Chris has set up some makeshift gameshow rafters out of household furniture. He says that today’s challenge will be a twist on the classic game of Say Uncle. Contestants will be put through tests of endurance, aptly named tortures. If they chicken out or fail to last ten seconds, they will be eliminated. The last camper remaining will be rewarded with immunity and a decked out trailer to take home after the show.
Chris picks Max to go first and spins the Wheel Of Misfortune to decide his torture. The wheel lands on turtle puck shots, so Max has to stand unprotected in a hockey net while Chef pelts him with very angry snapping turtles. Max dodges some turtles but gets distracted when he stops to laugh at one that's stuck in the net. Chef then hits a direct shot, causing him to let out a pained yelp. More turtles hit Max, and the final one nails him right in the kiwis, but he stays in the goal so he gets to move onto the next round.
Zoey gets marshmallow waxing, so she has to endure being waxed by molten marshmallows. Once the marshmallows go on, Zoey starts screaming, but she’s muffled from under the molten mask. She lasts the ten seconds, so Chef takes the marshmallows off to reveal that the wax had actually worked. And as a bonus, Zoey gets to move on.
Chris tells Zoey that since she did so well, she gets to choose who goes next. However, he says that if whoever she picks survives the ten seconds, she goes out instead. Zoey thinks for a bit, and Heather starts whispering something in her ear. After Heather finishes, Zoey sighs and chooses Dawn.
Confessional:
Zoey: Apparently Dawn is catching on to what Heather’s trying to do with Sammy, so she wants to keep Dawn from winning immunity. I didn’t like the idea but Heather’s threatening to kick me out of the alliance after I didn’t break up Owen and Katie, so I have no choice.
Dawn gets lake leeches, so she has to survive in a barrel of leeches for ten seconds. Damien steps up and asks Chris if he can do the torture instead of Dawn. Chris tells him that he can, but if he fails, both he and Dawn will be out. Damien gets in and it’s clear the leeches aren’t sitting well with him. Eventually he can’t take it anymore and jumps out of the barrel covered in leeches. As he tries to get the leeches off him, Chris says that he had just missed the ten second mark, so he and Dawn are out.
It’s montage time and we get to see each contestant’s torture. Shawn wears wooden shorts while a woodpecker chips at it, success. Duncan gets his nose hairs plucked, success. Trent gets constricted by a snake, failure. Chase wears a shirt of bees, success. Heather has to jump over some skunks, failure. Sammy listens to some new age music, success. Katie must get a haircut from Chef with a chainsaw, failure. Owen goes to town on ice cream and has to survive a brain freeze, failure.
This leaves Duncan, Zoey, Max, Sammy, Shawn, and Chase for round two.
First up is Shawn, who gets electric eel defibrillation. Chef grabs some electric eels and shocks Shawn with it. To everyone’s surprise, not only does Shawn last the ten seconds, but he also seems completely unharmed.
Confessional:
Shawn: When you’re setting up a live electric fence for the zombie apocalypse, you’re going to electrocute yourself. A lot. Thankfully it means that now I’m practically invincible to being shocked!
Seeing as Shawn was unfazed by his torture, Chris lets him choose the next person to go. Shawn chooses Duncan, who gives him an angry glare.
Duncan gets the bigfoot storage container, in which he must spend ten seconds in a crate with the fabled Sasquatchanakwa. The crate in question is shaking violently and there is growling coming from inside. Duncan shoots another look at Shawn before going in. We hear fighting and Duncan insulting Sasquatchanakwa, before he kicks down the crate’s door while dragging Sasquatchanakwa behind him in a headlock. Chris congratulates Duncan on not only surviving, but somehow beating Sasquatchanakwa in a fight. However, he tells Duncan that since he left the crate of his own accord before the ten seconds was up, he is still eliminated. Duncan is furious by this technicality and swears to Shawn that he’ll get back at him, but Shawn just explains that that’s what happens when he insults Axel.
Chase gets jellyfish scuba diving, so he has to swim in an aquarium tank while dodging a box jellyfish. Some of the contestants gasp at how dangerous the torture is, but Chase eagerly agrees to do it. While in the tank, he swims around the jellyfish and taunts it. The box jellyfish stings him, but he makes it the ten seconds. Chris asks Chase if he needs to go to the infirmary, but he refuses, despite clearly being in pain.
Chris lets Chase choose the next victim, and he chooses by closing his eyes and picking randomly. He lands on Sammy, and asks Chris if he can choose the dare. Chris lets him pick from the Wheel Of Misfortune, and Chase explains that he’s looking for the best, most unbelievable dare. He picks the poison ivy spa treatment, and is disappointed when Sammy chooses to be eliminated instead.
The last two to go this round are Max and Zoey, and both fail at alligator wrestling and literal waterboarding respectively. (The latter of which Chris says he’s doing behind the producer’s back.) This means that Chase and Shawn are the last two remaining, and Chase isn’t looking too good. Damien asks Chase if he’s doing okay and he explains that other than the fact that he can’t feel his spine, he’s great. After hearing that statement, Chris lets Shawn go first.
Shawn gets the grizzly bear log roll, so Chris brings him and the rest of the campers out to the lake where the torture will take place. Chris explains that Shawn must log roll against Molotov the Bear, who happens to be the European log rolling champion for the past twelve years. Plus, Shawn and Molotov will be log rolling over piranha infested waters. Shawn has a stare off with Molotov before he steps onto the log, and the two start going. Shawn has trouble keeping up with Molotov, but soon gets the hang of it. He jumps on the log, and upon landing gets it to stop rolling. This causes Molotov to fall in the water, meaning Shawn moves on.
It’s Chase’ turn, and the jellyfish sting is definitely kicking in. He passes out, so Chris has Chef send him to the infirmary to get treated for the sting. He then announces that Shawn wins immunity and the trailer. As for everyone else, Chris tells them to get ready to vote between themselves.
Later, Dawn thanks Damien for taking the leech challenge instead of her, even if he failed. Damien asks her if she made any progress on getting to Sammy, and her answer disappoints him. He then realizes that Trent would probably have a better time convincing Sammy and that they should tell him what’s happening.
Max, Owen, and Katie are chatting and Max tells them that while he appreciates their help, he’s going to work alone from now on. He thanks them for being his friends and says that he has more evil inventions to tend to. After he leaves, Katie tells Owen that going alone is probably going to go bad for Max in one way or another, and that she’ll miss him.
Duncan finds Heather near the mess hall and tells her that as much as he hates to admit it, he needs allies, and that she’s his best bet. She finds his desperation to be convincing enough and tells him he can join her, but that he must be useful to be worth her protection.
Confessional:
Duncan: With Shawn having immunity, it wouldn’t take much for him to get votes against me. I hate the idea of working for Heather, but it’s not like I have much choice.
Vote off someone other than Shawn, nominate someone for immunity, and come up with any plot points you want to see later.