Example of time off request letter

So my fiancé and I of 8 years got engaged lst Feb . My friend, Sara, and I have been close friends since we were in high school together and for the past year we have worked together. Before we worked together, I noticed there were things that made me wonder if the friendship was off balance. I’ve made an effort at her implied request to be close with her friends and family, all of whom I’ve gotten to know. Her father passed away 2 years ago and I attended her wake and hosted the get together afterwards at my house. Often times, when we’re in groups I’ve noticed she will have a two way conversation with another person and completely leave me out of the conversation , leaving me to sit there alone despite attempts to join the convo. She is also the kind of person who will dump, then as soon as she is done and you begin to share she will pick up her phone and start texting someone else Recently, since getting engaged these things have become more pronounced. Since wedding planning and festivities started, it became more pronounced that Sara has made no effort to build relationships with my friends or family, all of whom are close. I invited her siblings and friends to my engagement party to simply ensure she was comfortable.
Recently we have both been struggling more at work. Historically, Sara is a person who cares a great deal of what she comes across like to others and I have always done my best to offer support in moments she struggles with a protective person to those I care about and I find that when she expresses feeling slighted me, I React and feel protective of her. This recently happened at work, where in which I defended her to my manager, which resulted in my manager yelling at me and now bullying me to the point where I am now off work on stress leave. Since then, I have been informed by colleagues she has been siding with this manager in this behaviour, biding to her direction for things such as inappropriately writing me down as a no show.
Moving on, I’ve noticed that Sara will get upset with me when she does not get her way, then I will disengage and afterwards she will often send me a text Essentially turning the scenario around and Change the narrative to me being upset and her “understanding”. If I am not supporting the way she expects m to be she will often say something snarky as well
In terms of the wedding, I was speaking with my maid of honour the other day, my sister, and she expressed surprise that Sara was even in the wedding party. She mentioned that Sara has not been involved in any planning whatsoever and she has not spoken in their chat they’ve had for 7 months. The only dialogue Sara is interested in having with me regarding the wedding is about her dress. She has purchased about 13 different dresses, and I have spent probably 14 hours in conversation discussing which dress, all of which I said are great, would look great on day of. I also asked her several months ago to let me know if her partner is coming, which she refuses to answer.
I am at a loss. Every day gets harder with her and frankly I’m feeling really devastated that it’s come to this and that this is the way things have unfolded. This is a friend I care a lot about, and the loss of this friendship will be hard, although I do feel it’s time to part ways.
My challenge is that the bachelorette and wedding is coming in 2 months. How do I navigate this?

This theory came from the rumored Captain America show that Cap will return all of the infinity stones. I think this is the show that Scarlet Johansson is producing. Ok so this show can go into 2 directions. The safer way or the more confusing but multiverse way. The safer way is that the show is a limited 6 episode event and each episode we see Cap return a stone per episode and at the end we she Cap dance with Peggy.
The other more multiverse way is more confusing. So it would still be a 6 episode event with each episode Cap returns a stone but at the end of the 6th episode we see something weird happen. Something to do with the multiverse. Then the screen goes to black and it says that Captain America will Return.
Then we see Captain America in Avengers Secret Wars. We see for example Spiderman say hey Cap they figure out that it is the Cap from 616 or 199999. Cap does one last battle and he sees Falcon as Captain America fighting. At the end of the movie we see Cap and he thinks to himself that Falcons got it covered and he can get one last dance with Peggy.
So this may even clear up some of the confusion of old Cap in Endgame. So we see old Cap but that means he has to live in 616 without being notice and Peggy did have kids without Steve so that’s a plot hole. What if… old man Cap is the 616 but the point in Avengers Secret Wars where he decides to live a life with Peggy that’s a Nexus point that he branches off onto another timeline. He then once old jumps back in time and into another universe to the 616 universe to give Sam the shield.
This may even add another plot hole because like hey this doesn’t make sense if we Sam in Avengers secret wars as Cap. I think Steve should in some point of the movie ask the questions we are all curious and confused about the multiverse. Maybe Loki the God of Stories can explain that timelines branches off, dies and loop. The multiverse is a confusing concept but yet beautiful. He would say.
I feel like that Cap and how he asks questions that we want to ask can even help the general public to understand the multiverse because we know that it can get confusing.

I see a lot of people requesting role queue, but is that really what this game needs? Don't get me wrong, I agree that this game is probably going to need something, I just don't think role queue is quite it.
Role Queue, while it does provide benefits, also comes with its own host of problems:

• It yields varying queue times based on the role that you choose to queue as. The more popular your role is, the more time you are likely to wait.
• One role, the least popular one, becomes a "bottleneck". If not enough people queue into it, it can drastically increase the queue times for all the others.
• You're locked into the role that you choose. In Overwatch for example, if you know you can do better than someone who's playing poorly on healer, but you queued as DPS, you're out of luck even if they'd agree to swap with you.

Instead, I think this game should keep open queue and go the route of role limits. i.e. no more than 2 tanks, 2 healers, and maybe 3-4 DPS so you can more freely play around with the compositions. Can tweak with the numbers as needed.
This way, you'd always have at least 1 of each role on your team without affecting queue times for certain ones, assuming the proper limits are in place to prevent people from picking half tanks half healers (unless that's what the devs want, I guess).

When I (23F) first started working at my job, I met my former friend (21F)(let's call her K). K and I knew each other because her training partner was in my orientation class. When we first met, she briefly complained that her ex bf (23M)(let's call him D) had followed her to our work and he got a job at our work as well.
K and I worked in the same department, different areas. When K and I got close, I told her that I got promoted and was working in another area. K told me that D was also working in the same area and to not talk about her at work. I didn't pry into what had happened between the two of them because how people mourn their broken relationships is different. I just moved along my business and just do my job per usual. I didn't officially meet him until a couple weeks later, and the first couple of instances, I treated him as I would treat any coworker and just did my job, never asked to hang out outside of work, just treated my coworkers with respect until I have a reason not to.
Then, out of nowhere, every room I had walked into and he saw me, D gave me a look of disgust with me, a snobby look, as if I was below him. D had gone so far as to exclude me from group conversations with coworkers and I didn't really know why because I never brought up K with him or with anyone. It wasn't until I told her what had happened and she was like "Yeah I told him that we knew each other because we're still talking as friends." In my mind I was like "?????" I thought it was uncalled for and unnecessary. I informed K that D intentionally excludes me out of conversations with coworkers that I was also friendly with and K told me, "If he likes you, he likes you, if he doesn't, he doesn't", but insinuating that I did something wrong, so I just decided to keep my distance from K for awhile.
I didn't like D at all at this point, not because of his association with K, but because he was the worst person to work with! He was always bitching and complaining about moving carts and complaining in front of customers about how he's tired and how he hates working, etc etc. There was a time where he was the only guy not doing anything and standing around and I politely asked him to move a cart and he threw a fit in front of customers and demanded another girl nearby to do it for him. He wasn't on any work restrictions, nothing, just didn't want to do his job. I understand not liking your job, but it's never an excuse to under perform at your job. And because of him, many others decided to throw a fit about working to the point where, I had to attend meetings about it. The times I treated him nicely, he gave me a dirty look. All the times to where I just ignored him and did my job, he also gave me a dirty look. It got so bad that management decided to announce that anyone refusing to do their job would be reprimanded, rightfully so. I was so mad about it to the point where I requested that I be demoted back to my original workplace (which I love so much) and to just call me in when necessary.
Some time passes by and K and I become really close, I don't pry into her life because tbh, I didn't have a lot of trust for her when it comes to talking about work, so I just kept it at what was going on at where I first got hired at work. K told me around August that her and D were no longer on speaking terms and that she had gone no contact because she claimed that he was abusive and narcissistic. We became very close to where we were constantly talking to each other everyday.
K was living good after cutting out D in her life. She started becoming more social and more lively, she went on vacation, she was just glowing in a way that you knew she was happy. On the other hand, based on my conversations with her, I could tell that she was struggling to come to terms with being abused by this guy. Ex: her supervisor came into my office and we were talking about how amazing K was and I told her that story, K became scared that I even had a conversation with her supervisor, but until I told her that we were talking about how amazing she was, K started to cry tears of joy.
And then things took a turn for the worse. A couple of weeks ago, K told me that she just wants to just isolate herself and that she felt lost in life. I told her that I'd be praying for her. And then, I had asked her if she wanted to come to the movies with me and a couple of my friends. K asked me who was going and I told her my friend (lets call her S) S (20F) was going to go. S and I have worked with D and S told me that she's also had issues with D, but didn't go into detail as to what happened. K immediately informed me that she and D had recently started talking again and that if she heard me or S talk about D in a negative manner, then she would tell him. I told her that my issues with D are nothing personal, my issue was that he wasn't a good employee and basically called him an inconsiderate asshat. I told her that he had the right to not like his workplace, but it gave him no right to under perform his job. K told me that she'd pass this message along and I firmly told her no because she didn't know what the new updates were and new disciplinary actions were because she didn't receive proper training at my work area and therefore not eligible.
I reminded her that it wasn't a good idea to be speaking to D again, considering that she was happy post life after D and based on what she has told me, that it was abusive. I told K that she needed to reconsider her stance on where she stood with D.
A week passes and S and our friend E (21M) decided to take an impromptu visit to our workplace to have some fun. I texted K if she was working and K told me she was. I told K that we'd be visiting mine and S's area first before visiting K and she seemed excited. While we were in line talking, S had spotted from the corner of her eye that D was working and so S and I hid behind our friend E and had E briefly talk to D in order to get serviced (basically just telling D that we were a party of 3). Once the coast was clear, S confides in me and E about her history with D. Her history with D started when D asked her to hang out a total of two times throughout the course of their friendship, but said that D had a crush on her, writing her paragraphs, but she wasn't into D because he wasn't her type, and when she told him honestly and politely, the friendship had soured, and D had resorted to degrading her.
We came to K's work area and I had introduced S and E to K. The next morning, K texted me saying how it was so nice to see my face because it was a long night and that it was so nice to meet S and E. I told K that E's birthday was coming up and so was mine and that we were talking about taking a trip to Universal Studios Hollywood. K told me that she was a huge Universal Studios enthusiast and to give her a date to go and she'll request the day off.
I made a group chat with all of us in it, to plan out our trip to Universal. S and E hit it off with K. And then a couple of days ago, when I came home from work, I noticed that K had unadded me as a friend on Snapchat. I texted her, asking if she was okay. I got a response the next morning of K texting me, "Please don't talk to me. You've really caused issues and you'll find out later." I was upset and taken aback. This is not the K that I knew. One of the rare times K and I had a disagreement, we would always talk it out like adults and then apologize to each other. K didn't explain to me as to what I did wrong. I couldn't think of what could I have done wrong. The only recent disagreement that I had with her was her speaking to D again.
After work that day, S texted me to ask if I was okay. I told her no because K abruptly ended our friendship with no explanation whatsoever. S called me because she too wanted to know the reason why. S and I came to the conclusion that because K and D were still talking to each other and that because S and D had a history, he found out that K was going to Universal with us, and in order to keep her under his control, he fed her lies about S and I, enough for her to stop talking to me. S told me that she was upset that his actions with her resulted in the demise of our friendship and I told S that it wasn't her fault that, D was scared of being exposed, so he played the victim card.
S told me she'd pull up the receipts of their conversations. The receipts she pulled up was abhorrent. It was misogynistic, sexist, manipulative, and arrogant in the worst way possible and he used religion against S as well as used many of his victim cards (race card, religion card, etc). S was also explaining to E and I many different instances of what had happened and that she felt bad for K because if he spoke this way to a friend, imagine how he spoke to K. I immediately felt so much empathy for both S and K because they had been both dragged through the mud, with D villainizing S for having a preference for another type of guy, and D villainizing K to others. So the next day, at work, with S's permission, I told majority of my colleagues that D was an inconsiderate asshat, misogynistic, and an abusive person towards people, and outright a narcissistic person while showing everyone the screenshots of his conversations with S. AITAH for exposing D to colleagues for his behavior? (sorry for the long read)

my boss seems to have become obsessed with trans people and a lot of my co workers are close with him. hes been posting a ton of transphobic stuff on his facebook lately. he sent me a friend request over a year ago and i didn’t feel comfortable rejecting it as he was my boss. ive never had issues with him and hes never been mean to me but i always felt like something might be off so i never made an effort to get close to him. hes been posting about trans people for about the last two months. my job is going to pay for my gender affirming surgeries as well as my time to heal. the company also was going to pay for software development courses but they decided not to cus they wanted to focus on their “end of the year goals” which is upper managements way of saying they wanted a bigger bonus after i already took a test and passed an interview and the man who interviewed me seemed very excited for me to start classes. ive been with the company for almost three years. im in my mid 20s. should i look for a new job?

Hello everyone and welcome to my post. In the following few paragraphs, you'll learn a few basics about myself as well as what I'm looking for in a partner. If any of it interests you, please don't hesitate to message me or start a chat. I look forward to hearing from all of you!
To begin with a little about myself, I'm 24M and currently living in NoVA for just over 1.5 years. Before that, I spent most of my life in Massachusetts but eventually ran out of new things to do there. Now, I work in AI research and spend most of my free time either playing board games or exploring nature. I also love to travel and see the world whenever possible. My last trip was to Portugal (pictures available) which was such a beautiful country with such delicious food. Next up in May is Croatia where I plan to visit tons of national parks, especially the Plitvice Lakes (google it, they're gorgeous). Also, one cool and unique facts about me is that I have aphantasia which means I can't see images in my head. Oh and physically, I'm 5'8 with an average build and dark brown hair and eyes.
As for what I'm looking for, I really don't have many expectations in terms of appearance. By far the most important thing to me is that we are able to share each other's hobbies and enjoy time together. For example, I'd love someone I can take on hikes before ending off the day with a board game night at home. And, of course, I'd be interested in sharing and trying your hobbies as well. I also really value communication and people who can keep a conversation going in person and over text.
If you're still interested and made it this far, I've got a LIMITED TIME OFFER for you. In exchange for three unique facts about yourself, I will reply with three pet pictures. These pictures are guaranteed to be extra adorable and come with a 100% money-back guarantee if they don't make you smile.

Hello everyone and welcome to my post. In the following few paragraphs, you'll learn a few basics about myself as well as what I'm looking for in a partner. If any of it interests you, please don't hesitate to message me or start a chat. I look forward to hearing from all of you!
To begin with a little about myself, I'm 24M and currently living in NoVA for just over 1.5 years. Before that, I spent most of my life in Massachusetts but eventually ran out of new things to do there. Now, I work in AI research and spend most of my free time either playing board games or exploring nature. I also love to travel and see the world whenever possible. My last trip was to Portugal (pictures available) which was such a beautiful country with such delicious food. Next up in May is Croatia where I plan to visit tons of national parks, especially the Plitvice Lakes (google it, they're gorgeous). Also, one cool and unique facts about me is that I have aphantasia which means I can't see images in my head. Oh and physically, I'm 5'8 with an average build and dark brown hair and eyes.
As for what I'm looking for, I really don't have many expectations in terms of appearance. By far the most important thing to me is that we are able to share each other's hobbies and enjoy time together. For example, I'd love someone I can take on hikes before ending off the day with a board game night at home. And, of course, I'd be interested in sharing and trying your hobbies as well. I also really value communication and people who can keep a conversation going in person and over text.
If you're still interested and made it this far, I've got a LIMITED TIME OFFER for you. In exchange for three unique facts about yourself, I will reply with three pet pictures. These pictures are guaranteed to be extra adorable and come with a 100% money-back guarantee if they don't make you smile.

I changed my name long before I knew there were bonds in my birth name (my parents had them saved and waited until they felt I was responsible enough to have them). I am waffling on whether or not to cash them since they're about 8 years off from being 30 years but I am they could finally put me in a situation to pursue a life goal. That part is neither here nor there though. I am wondering how I even would cash them. My first and middle name are changed (though the first three letters of my first name are the exact same, like Carson vs Carl, as an example of what I mean) but my last name is the exact same. All my documents have my current legal name, including my SSN card. I've never had a drivers license or passport with my birth name and my original SSN card and birth certificate no longer exist. The treasury website had how to do a married name change but I think my name might be too different for that to work, especially since it wasn't my last name that changed. Also, they're paper bonds, not electric.
Any advice for how to do this? Anyone had to go through this process before?

I have been a long time smoker of cannabis and also drink on occasion. I am no longer smoking weed today, and noticed that there is some double standards with cannabis and alcohol that can be harmful. For my own experience, for example, my own mental disability was arguably caused by heavy cannabis use, causing what is called THC psychosis. I was all in on smoking weed, all day everyday. Then when I picked up drinking on occasion, I noticed there were warnings ad nauseum about avoiding drinking because it is a poison.
Anyway I'm just sort of realizing as I get sober that many people are sort of putting cannabis on a pedestal as some miracle drug, and in fact it is more common now for many users to experience thc psychosis. Still for most people it's a harmless drug, but for me cannabis was the kryptonite to my success in some ways, and solely caused my mental health episodes. I have a psychiatrist who suggested I smoke weed instead of drink alcohol. I understand the general safeness of heavy use of THC, but I'm sort of frustrated that I was led to believe that weed could do no harm.
For myself I see a life trajectory that was clearly altered then I smoked weed, starting in highschool. Anyway I had someone say to me "stay away from the alcohol", suggesting I should not worry about weed use. Meanwhile smoking weed arguably affected my life like a major substance dependency does, and for me an occasional drink is way preferred to cannabis addiction. Anyway I just wanted to get off my chest how THC use can actually be vary harmful as much as it is safe for many to use also.

Sorry in advance for how long this is. I (19 F) am now in college but this story happened my senior year of high school when I was 18. My two closest friends at my school were twin sisters. Let’s call them Katherine and Olivia (both fake names). I had met Olivia at the beginning of my freshman year of high school when her sister Katherine introduced us. Olivia and I were inseparable and we did everything together. I was friends with Katherine too but not as close as I was with Olivia until our junior year of high school. There were some red flags in my friendship with these two that I see now looking back but was too naive to realize beforehand. For example, I went all out with gifts for them during holidays while they never got me anything in return. I would always show up for Katherine’s swim meets that she and Olivia invited me to come watch so that I could cheer on and support her. They never showed up for any of my horse shows that I would invite them to watch and always claimed to be busy (which I understand life can be busy). I know that may sound petty, but what I’m trying to say is that the effort I put into our friendship was never reciprocated. They would never show up for me or support me the way I did for them. They would also emotionally manipulate me but I won’t get into it because we’d be here all day. Anyway, at the end of spring break our senior year I get a long text message from Olivia who said she was ending her friendship with me. I won’t get into what the message contained but she essentially blamed me for a lot of issues she was having, was gaslighting me, and also lied to me by saying I was never there for her (which is crazy because that’s all I tried to do but she would always push me away). I get it, sharing emotions and being vulnerable can be scary but I always tried my best to support her and lift her up through difficult times. Katherine didn’t send a message but she followed her sister and stopped talking to me. I was absolutely heartbroken because I thought these girls were two of my best friends but then they throw me under the bus and treat me like I’m less than nothing. What hurt even worse is that I had previously opened up to them about some emotional trauma from being betrayed and abandoned by one of my closest friends in elementary school, and they told me that they would always be there for me no matter what. This caused me to fall into a deep hole of depression and I suffered from a lot of emotional trauma that I’m still learning to heal from today. I won’t get into it but I reached a point where I didn’t even want to be alive anymore (but don’t worry I got help and I’m happy to say I’m doing so much better today :) Eventually my sadness turned to anger for what they did to me and I had all of this rage that I had bottled up inside. However, these two didn’t know that I am EXTREMELY PETTY. I decided to get revenge for what they did to me by unleashing the ultimate petty lol. I thought through ideas until I eventually decided on the perfect plan. So I know where they live and I also know they keep their car outside of their garage. I snuck out of my house at 2:00 in the morning and put a crap ton of corn syrup and glitter as well as chocolate chips and rainbow sprinkles all over their car (I hope they had fun getting that off lmaooo). That stuff went absolutely everywhere too. I had previously done research to not damage their car as my goal was not to hurt anyone or damage any property but only be really annoying. I then snuck back home and went to bed. Later that morning my mom received a text message from their mom asking to meet up and talk. Now their parents are actually really nice people though. My mom agreed and met up with them at a coffee shop. My mom later told me about it. Her parents deadass asked my mom if I was the one who Willy Wonka’d their car lmao since they weren’t sure who else from our school knew their address besides me. Now my mom already knows how much those twins hurt and was my rock after they betrayed me. She denied that it was me and told their parents that I have grown stronger from their daughters’ kindness and also cruelty (which she said which they cringed at hahahahaha). I felt such a petty sense of satisfaction after this and I was then able to focus on my mental health after getting revenge. TLDR: Betray and hurt me after years of friendship? I will unleash a CandyLand STORM onto your vehicle. Also, if you twins are reading this (and you know who you are); yes it was me lmaooo I hope you had fun washing all of that off your car after. Fuck you both😂😂

So my girlfriend(22f) and i(24m) have been dating for 5 months and l'm considering ending it. Everything was pertect for the first two months and now these last 3 have been hell. There are a lot of problems we have had but the underlying theme is that all of these problems stem from her past traumas. For example, after our first fight she compared me to her ex and her dad. Any boundary I try to set, she disagrees with and claims I am being controlling. One boundary that I have set that (she keeps crossing) is that I tell her to stop being flirtatious with other guys. From what I know she has three points of trauma, her narcissistic mother (she hasn't talked to her in 2 years), her dad (met him and he seems pretty normal tbh), and her toxic, controlling ex boyfriend (had a relationship for 5 years and he cheated on her and ended up getting the girl he cheated on her with pregnant). She has told me that she would eventually tell me about her past traumas but keeps putting it off and avoiding it. I'm at a point now where I can't stay in this relationship without knowing her traumas because it's impossible for me to move forward without triggering her.
At first I was ok with never knowing but 3 months into the relationship I found out that she had told one of her new friends(friend from work that she has known for 3 months) about her relationship and trauma with her mom. This hurt obviously because I feel that I’m closer to her than her friend. The way I see it is that if she can tell her friend that she has known for the same amount of time as me then she can tell me. I truly believe that her telling me her traumas would significantly improve the relationship. Am I wrong?
Tl:dr My girlfriend won’t tell me her past traumas but will bring them up during fights and they are a cause of a lot of our problems. Do I have a right to know them?

A bit of context: A couple years ago my best friend of over 20 years got engaged. Growing up we always dreamed of being each other's maid of honor, and we were so excited for that to finally come to fruition. Shortly after I ended up coming out as a trans man (I am now 1.5 years on testosterone and pass decently well). She still wanted me to fill the role and instead we changed my title to “best man”.
It was my job to handle her bachelorette party and the guest list consisted of the bride (S), myself, my boyfriend, and three friends from S’s neighborhood who are all a tight knit group (I hadn’t met any of them prior). The group was non-responsive, with me having to triple text them just to get answers to my questions. All of this to say–I was quite anxious going in.
Now for the actual bachelorette party: We started the night at one of the neighborhood friend’s house. The two other neighbors arrived and were helping me set up all of the decorations I bought and were being sweet. S arrives and everyone has a couple drinks and we end up playing a card game that one of them brought. The cards had questions that everyone went around and answered. At one point I get up and leave the room to grab something and I hear the question “Who would look the best as the opposite gender?” I could hear the tension even from the other room and my friend goes “Well obviously (my name)”--I was trying to diffuse the tension and chimed in “Oh ya definitely me–I was cute pre T”. At that point I come back in the room and see S huddled over her phone scrolling, with it turned to the neighbor friends. I walk over to see what they’re looking at and it's my instagram page–she had scrolled all the way back to 2016 (through hundreds of my pre transition pictures) and was showing them a picture of me with long hair and looking all dolled up. She said “Oh I probably should’ve asked you if that was ok huh?”. My heart was racing and I felt like I was having an out of body experience and because I didn’t want to make a big fuss less than an hour after meeting these women I was like “Oh it’s fine!”--complete fawn response. Her friends then started bombarding me with questions about my transition and if I was “a male or female”. I kept explaining that I was a trans man, to which she goes “but what is your BIRTH sex?” and I say “female”. She then proceeded to go on about “Ohhhh ok I can see that now! I can see the balance of feminine and masculine in your face. I can see where if your hair was this current color in that picture you would look the same”. S just sat there, saying nothing and smiling the whole time. This entire interaction was made worse by the fact that later in the night the women were once again looking at a phone S was holding and when I came over and said “What are we all looking at?” she turned the phone away from me and asked one of the women “Is it ok if I show it?”--she said yes and S revealed that it was just a picture of a wedding dress that one of the newly engaged women had tried on.
Shortly after we all head out to dinner. At this point S wasn't drinking and hadn’t had anything to drink in roughly an hour. They were all gossiping about their neighbors and other things and at one point S very nonchalantly informed me that my boyfriend and I were going to be moved to a different table for the reception–instead of sitting with her family as was originally planned. She goes on to say that her mom’s boyfriend (of less than one year) isn’t comfortable sitting next to trans people. She then corrects herself and says “Well actually he didn’t say that–my mom just thinks he’d be uncomfortable and asked that you be moved”. Now. I have known this woman for over 20 years of my life. She is like a second mother to me. To say that I was gutted is an understatement. The waitress overheard the conversation and said “Oh my god that’s horrible! I’m so sorry I don’t mean to interrupt but that’s just awful!”. So it clearly wasn’t just me who understood how awful it was. S then proceeded to make excuses for why he thought that way/why she said that. Namely that he was “assaulted by a man when he was younger”. Again, I had a fawn response as I was just trying to keep it together. Earlier in the night she had been talking the guy up and several times mentioned that he “met RuPaul” as if that was an indicator that he was a good person–but now knowing that the whole time she was aware that he’s transphobic it feels insane that she kept feeling the need to sprinkle that in over and over.
These are just the most egregious things but there were microaggressions that she said through the night (ie going out of her way to inform me that she’s still using they/them pronouns for me because she’s still getting used to he/him–I’ve been going by he/him for over a year now).
All the while my boyfriend was deeply triggered and traumatized by the events as he is also transgender and it brought him right back to when he was earlier on in his transition and had to deal with things like this. He felt paralyzed as I had asked him prior to not say anything if the women made any inappropriate comments–but I never expected comments from S. He cried once we got back and was rattled for days after.
We slept at S’s home and in the morning we were drinking coffee with her and her fiance. Once again she brings up the situation with her mom nonchalantly and tells him that she told us. I say “Hey–about that, I really think that I didn’t need to know that. I really would’ve preferred if you had just moved us without letting us know why or made up an excuse”. Her fiance had a look on his face and she said that he was adamant that I should never be told and that his initial reaction to the mom’s request was that her boyfriend just shouldn’t be invited to the wedding. I also let her know that I was uncomfortable that she was showing strangers my pre-transition pictures without asking me. I kept the conversation very brief and frankly overly nice. She apologized and I left and my boyfriend and I went home.
As the day went on the shock started to wear off and I was more and more hurt. I texted her and stressed how much it hurt that she scrolled for multiple minutes through hundreds of my pre transition pictures without asking me, but thought to ask her friend for permission to show me a picture of a dress. She profusely apologized and I dropped it. In the morning I woke up to a lengthy text of her saying that she thought she had asked for my permission to show the pictures and that she never would’ve done it without asking for my consent and that it was all a misunderstanding. I responded stating that I had been out of the room when the question got pulled and when I walked in she was already several years deep in my instagram and then commented “Oh I probably should’ve asked you if that was ok”. The next day the reality of the situation with her mom began to fully sink in and I got angrier and angrier about how she could request that I be moved, after knowing me so long, and how S made excuses for her mom and mom’s boyfriend. I decided to send a voice memo rather than a text so that she could hear that my tone was of hurt rather than screaming and yelling. The purpose was to get her to understand the severity of the situation and how if you replace “trans” with any other minority group it instantly becomes apparent how messed up the situation was. I played the audio for several people and everyone said that it made them sad for me and that I expressed my feelings in a really calm and respectful way. S initially responded that night saying that she needed time to properly respond.
After a week of radio silence she finally replied and said that my messages had been “troubling and frightening” and that “I don’t have the resources right now to make my wedding feel like a safe space for you/us”. I was beyond shocked that her response was to uninvite me to the wedding and I let her know that I couldn’t be friends with her after the way she had handled everything. Later in the day she called me (I didn’t pick up) and texted me saying that her fiance was begging her to call me and make up and that she thought she was doing me a favor by uninviting me and that she thought my audio message was to intentionally kick her while she was down and was me “begging to be uninvited”. I feel like she is backpedaling HARD and mainly because of her fiancé.
Thank you to everyone who read this novel of a post. What do you all think–am I overreacting?

Some background: I'm a little over 60. I'm an only child., widowed and childless. My father died in 2004.
My mother died February 18 after a year of struggling with stroke, heart failure and pneumonia. I missed getting to say goodbye to her by about 20 minutes. She was everything to me, and I miss her so much. Her birthday, she would have been 89, was late last month. Mother's Day yesterday was very hard. I miss her so so much.
On April 1,my job laid me off. A corporation bought out most of the corporation I worked for and my position was eliminated. I was the seniormost team member, lots of experience and skills and the remaining team couldn't do what I did, and would be overworked taking on my caseload. And yes I think age and disbility discrimination had a lot to do with it.
I am looking for a job. My last employer accepted my request for ADA accomodation to work at home. (I survived a bad car wreck, I walk with a cane, and a lot of walking is just painful). I'm not sure any new employers are interested in that.
I sold my condo I am getting enough money to buy something very modest for cash. And by modest I mean a 'manufactured home' or 'mobile home.' Yes, not many people's idea of 'ideal' housing. But for me - having a paid for little place, small but comfortable, for just me and 2 cats is perfect. Would I rather have a cottage of some sort? Yes. But I can't afford one. And having a paid for house and a paid for car is not a bad thing, you know?
I have found a really cute and well priced home in a clean park in a small city about an hour away. I wll have unemployment coming in soon and I would have enough money left over to pay lot rent, utilities, and food and gasoline and such for awhile.
The thing is - my credit took a dive and these mobile home parks run a check on credit, income, and crime. Let's take those one at a time. First, no criminal history at all. Second, I can say I'm on FMLA leave as a reason for not having May paychecks. (It was true when I was let go so it's lying but only a little). But my credit took a dip because I was paralyzed by my firing and did not pay my mortgage in Aprl. (TBH, I thought about killing myself a lot and I was just trying to leave money for someone to throw me in a cremation oven and rehome my cats.)
I could buy a home but not be allowed to live in a mobile home park because of my credit. I don't know of anything I can do to reverse this. I'm willing to listen to any ideas.
No job - no family - soon no home. This is not a good life. I realize some people have things worse - everyone is always better off than someone else, I suppose. But I have to live my life and it's so lonely and so bleak now. I go to bed (I'm up to 2 unisom, 4 melatonin, 4 tylenol pm now!) and try to stop my brain from going over and over all the ways I'm headed for ruin. But I wake up and my brain tells me that my best days are behind me and I'm going to live with my cats in my car until I just drop them at a shelter, then drive to a gun shop, then, do what I have to do. I don't really want to do that. But there's not much else to do with my crappy life, is there?

This is my first ever Reddit post and I thought it may be a healthy way to express how much build up anger and resentment I (26, F) have towards my 31 year old brother who takes 0 accountability for his action and his addiction. Bare with me.
When my brother was in highschool, he dabbled around in pills, alcohol and other drugs. That is what set off his absolutely insane alcohol addiction he’s currently still battling with. In 2017 he was hit by a car because he was walking down a highway while intoxicated and was in a coma for a month and had to have multiple brain surgeries and leg surgeries. He had to have multiple months of PT once healed to get back to walking and functioning. After his accident and healing he was in and out of relapses until about 2021 when he got completely sober. After 3 years of sobriety, a few months ago he relapsed and has been fucking spiraling since. Within the last 3 months, he’s gotten a DUI, lost custody of his 7 year old child to CPS, has another baby mama who is 26 weeks pregnant who he’s no longer dating, quit his job.. like ROCKBOTTOM..
A few days ago my entire family went to his house to hold an intervention and we sourced multiple ways for him to get help (rehab, mental health facility) before his court date for the DUI at the end of May, and his response was “I’ll think about it over the weekend..” to a 30 day program.. mind you, he has no job, lost custody of his daughter, is POOR, has another kid on the way, and doesn’t even pay his own bills because my PARENTS HAVE BEEN.. (dad is on his mortgage)
Today he is arguing with my mom and playing victim about how he has “so many problems, keeps them all to himself to figure out, helps everyone around him, and that ‘blood isn’t thicker than water because everyone in the family is against him’” because we are trying to hold him accountable for his own actions and find him a program for him to get into to get clean, and his life back together before he fully loses custody of his daughter, and his house..
He constantly talks about how he wishes he would’ve died in his accident and has no empathy towards what his entire family went through during his 6 months of being In the hospital and through the rehab healing from his accident. Any time anybody tries to hold him accountable he somehow manipulates it in his mind that you’re against him and you are the bad person. My mom and I decided we are going to write a letter to the judge for his DUI case asking if they’ll legally place him into a inpatient rehab in which he can’t leave. It’s really our only option at this point.
At this point I’d honestly rather him sit in a jail cell then be free out on the streets with no job, no kids in his custody, drinking his life away. At least I’d know he would be less self destructive and putting my nieces life on the line. It would also be relieving to not have to constantly worry about what he is doing, where he’s at, getting phone calls of him completely plastered apologizing but then going right back at it the next day, and routinely repeating this cycle.
Dealing with an unhinged alcoholic family member is so fucking draining. As if my 26 year old self doesn’t have enough daily life shit to worry about. Bills, working, finding insurance, staying mentally healthy, etc. to be dealing with my 5 year older alcoholic mentally unstable brother.
My therapist told me to start writing out how I feel and this was actually slightly healing to write out even if I feel guilty for saying all of this. I’ve just put so much work into healing emotional trauma and he just dumps all of his on to me any everybody else. Pray for me smh.

I am currently in the process of applying for a Z Visa to teach English. There is a section about employment and work history.

1. I have to include my current occupation, I'm currently unemployed as I want to do some travelling before heading off to China but there's no option to select 'unemployed' so can I just select 'company employee', will they check?
   
2. How accurate does my 5 year work history have to be? I graduated less than 5 years ago so most of my jobs during that time were retail jobs during covid and then 2 years of teaching in South Korea. It's asking for information such as my employer's phone number, my supervisor's phone number etc. Once again,how accurate does this need to be?
   

I'm worried if I include my job in South Korea they'll ask for a criminal background check which I don't have
I already have my work permit notification letter

Hey all, I've been around for about 2 years and during this time I've learned so much. But something I've seen requested quite a bit is videos / guides, etc on CAS and streamers that can teach / demonstrate it.
I've streamed in the past and have posted some content here, it's mostly kill montages and such, but I've seriously considered posting guides because of these requests. I don't consider myself the "best" or someone who is a one stop shop by any means, but combined I've played Warthunder for 10+ years off and on..
Anyway my point here is, what's best? Would people prefer a consistent stream you can hop on and ask questions? And just gameplay to refer to and take notes? Or would a dedicated video series be more useful?
I wouldn't be surprised if everyone just said both LOL. Which I get and understand, anyway I wanted to throw myself out there as my schedule is becoming free again and am looking to stream again and I thought what might be best to stream would CAS oriented gameplay for people to absorb knowledge and such and ask questions.
By no means am I the best or anything, but I just feel I might have something to contribute towards helping others with CAS for example.
Lastly, I want to throw out to any other CAS experts who might be willing to spotlight themselves here to speak up and message me sometime, so we can get together and maybe do some wing exercises, each of us teach eachother and subsequently teach the audience. Have a good day to everyone! Thanks all.

With the uptick in posts trying to identify doorknobs, I thought I'd share a how-to guide on researching that will hopefully give others a starting point in identifying their own doorknobs. I love how this community has a wealth of knowledge, but I am sharing because I know from experience how satisfying it was when my research paid off and I was able to identify my doorknobs on my own
You're getting the abbreviated version; this is what I'd do if I were starting from scratch - prior to learning these tips I spent a long time trying to google my specific doorknobs. This worked for some odd unique ones, but was not very successful for my house's turn-knobs with decoration - partly because lots of knobs share the same motifs and partly because I didn't know how to adequately describe the motifs I was looking at.

1. Start with https://www.antiquedoorknobs.us/contents.html - this is an amazing resource with over 2800 different doorknobs in their collection, broken into 24 categories of patterns.
   
2. I will take the second photo from this post as an example. It looked a bit spiraly to me so I started by going to the spirals/swirls section and browsing through looking for a solid circular field surrounded by dots to quickly weed through the options.
   
   1. I didn't find an exact match so I studied the doorknob again and realized that it is not so much a spiral as it's exhibiting 4-fold symmetry, so I went to that category and was pretty quickly rewarded by finding the doorknob. The page tells maker, model, and catalogue information.
3. Here is where google is your friend - knowing the maker and name of the knob let me google until I found a catalogue containing the doorknob. I confirmed it as a match by comparing the elements of the escutcheon in the catalogue to those in the photo. Antiquedoorknobs does have a repository of catalogues to cross reference, but do note there's a charge. It's up to you if you want to spend the money for a copy of the relevant catalogue, try to find a digital version elsewhere online, or ask for help here or in any other online communities.
   

For the doorknobs in my house, the cost was cheap enough that I justified the $17 for a copy and eagerly awaited it in my email. A few days later I received it right before going out to dinner. I had a sneaking suspicion I'd confirm some other hardware in our house was part of a matching set, so I earned coolness points with my wife when I let slip I was excited to go home and look at my doorknob catalogue. I confirmed my suspicions about the matching hardware, which was super exciting.
I'm sure there will be exceptions that aren't in the website's catalogue, and maybe there are even better ways to go about researching that I don't know, but this is what worked for me! Hopefully others can chime in with their research tips and tricks. This isn't meant to discourage asking for help, just to shed light on this resource and help others have fun researching their homes!! Do share your doorknobs with us, whether you do need help or if you've had a successful search!

**edited to adhere to rules on moral judgement requests**
I recently discovered that she's snapped/received a snap from her ex-bf, every single day that we've been together. Our relationship is still relatively fresh (5 months) so I don't know if it's too soon for me to be upset over this.
They were together for two years and had already been broken up for 2 years by the time we started dating. Upon voicing my discomfort about this, she said they don't even text and it's just about keeping the snapchat streak (I don't really use social media so maybe I'm biased in thinking caring about a streak score is stupid, maybe I just don't get it?) and keeping up with life updates such as his kid growing up and stuff like that. She then said she doesn't want to have to cut people out of her life and now I'm wondering if I'm being controlling in wanting their communication to end. She's also stated that she would feel perfectly fine with me doing the same with my exes if I so desired.
Even two years after they'd broken up, a photo of them together was still her desktop background when we had started dating and she changed it once things got more serious between us. She'd even stated (back when we were just FWB) that she still loved him a little, despite him living 1000 miles away now.
She reassured me that she loves me and that she's moved on from him and he's even returned here occasionally and they didn't even see each other during his homecomings so I really have nothing to be worried about and nothing romantic will ever happen between them again. She says their dynamic is purely friendly, yet she herself has stated she doesn't believe in male/female platonic friendships. Not sure if I wrong for thinking it's weird that it's suddenly okay for her when it comes to someone that she had a 2 year romantic relationship with.
I'm trying to be open minded and I understand that exes can indeed be friends post-breakup but it's the EVERY day thing that has my mind racing. I ultimately told her that I'm nobody to tell her who she can and cannot talk to, but I don't think I'll be able to ever get comfortable with the idea of them communicating that often. Hoping mostly for input from women, as every post of similar situations has almost only replies from men and almost all of them say to leave her, but also this is reddit so that's what I expect the average male redditor to say about anything.
I love this girl, she's amazing and a perfect match in so many ways, checks off almost every box for what I've always looked for in a partner. I don't want to lose what we have but also I don't want to be a placeholderebound until one day they suddenly decide they want to be back together. I don't know if I'm just being insecure and crazy or what, but I don't have access to my therapist for another 2 weeks, so hoping for opinions from internet strangers.

DISCLAIMER: This respectful and civil debate is oriented towards muslims. For the sake of the moderators time and also the readers I will only list 5 problems I've found. But don't worry I have 20 more to post if this post has more traffic!
According to the Quran, Jesus was a prophet of Islam, his followers were Muslims and the gospel is the inspired preserved authoritative word of Allah. But when we go to our earliest records, we find Jesus claiming to be the Divine Son of God who would die on the cross for sins and rise from the dead. Jesus followers proclaimed him as their Risen Lord, the gospel that Christians have been reading for nearly 2,000 years tells us that "Anyone who claims to be a prophet, rejects Jesus death, resurrection and deity is a false prophet and an antichrist" - 1 John 2:22, a verse to remember.
Problem 1. Earlier Records for Paul's Life than for Muhammad's Life - Our records of Paul's life are much earlier than our records of Muhammad's life. And here I don't just mean that Paul came centuries before Muhammad and so we have earlier sources for Paul's life, I mean that when we talk about the teachings and deeds of Paul the biographical sources we use are much closer to the events they report than the biographical sources we use when we talk about the teachings and deeds of Muhammad. Our earliest biographical sources on Paul were written during the lifetime of Paul. The book of Acts for example was written in the early 60s before Paul was martyred, and it was written by a traveling companion of Paul who was an eyewitness to many of the details he reports. We also have numerous letters written by Paul himself. Our earliest detailed biographical source on Muhammad is the sirah (biographical literature), especially the work of Ibn Ishaq (d. 768) which was written more than a century after Muhammad's death. And we don't even have what Ibn Ishaq actually wrote. We have an Abridged version that was sanitized by a later scholar and we shouldn't forget that many Muslims don't trust Ibn Ishaq. When Muslims quote stories about Muhammad, they're usually getting their information from sources like Sahih Al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim, which were written two centuries after the time of Muhammad.
Problem 1.1. But it gets worse... The main reason for composing works like Sahih Al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim was that Muslims were composing so many false stories about Muhammad, people didn't know what to believe. Scholars like Bukari decided that they needed to collect stories they thought were accurate in order to distinguish them from the ever increasing supply of false narrations. Now if Muslims during the time of Bukhari were inventing stories about Muhammad, what about the generation before that, and the generation before that..? And the generation before that? Two centuries is a lot of time to make things up, that's why it's always good to have sources written within the lifetime of the person you want to know about or at least within the lifetimes of the eyewitnesses. When we learn about Paul we learn about him through first generation eyewitness accounts. When we learn about Muhammad, we learn about him through late sources written by people who didn't know him, whose parents didn't know him and whose grandparents didn't know him. People who were fishing for historical facts in a sea of fabrication and deception. A few years ago the crumbling historical foundations for the life of Muhammad led the Islamic scholar Muhammad Sven Kalisch to conclude that Muhammad probably never existed. I don't agree with Dr Kalisch's conclusion about Muhammad's existence, but when even Muslim Scholars are starting to recognize how difficult it's become to take Muslim sources seriously our confidence in the historical Muhammad vanishes.
Problem 2. Paul Was a brillian scholar; Muhammad Was Not - The Apostle Paul was a brilliant scholar who defended his views in Athens, the intellectual capital of the ancient world, and in other major cities. He had discussions with the Stoic and Epicurian philosophers of his day and he could quote their sources to them. Even Anthony Flu, one of the 20th Century's most impressive critics of Christianity, said that the Apostle Paul possessed a first class philosophical mind. Muhammad by contrast was an illiterate 7th Century Caravan Trader. Now being an illiterate 7th Century Caravan Trader doesn't make you wrong, just as being a brilliant scholar doesn't make you right. But when we're dealing with claims about history and theology and various other topics having some sort of education helps. Not having an education leaves you open to obviously false revelations because you don't know enough to recognize them as false. This is why we find Muhammad telling his followers that Dhul-Qarnain traveled so far west he found the place where the sun sets, and that stars are missile that Allah uses to shoot demons, and that semen is formed between the backbone and the ribs. These are exactly the sort of absurdities we would expect from someone who has no clue what he's talking about, and who therefore has no clue whether his revelations line up with reality.
Problem 3. Paul knew the Old Testament; Muhammad Did Not - The Apostle Paul was a Pharisee who studied under Rabban Gamaliel II, one of the greatest Jewish rabbis of the first century. Paul knew the Old Testament inside and out which is why he quotes the Old Testament so frequently in his writings. This is important because Jesus claimed to fulfill a variety of Old Testament prophecies and you can't really examine this claim if you don't know what the Old Testament says. Muhammad was almost completely ignorant of the Old Testament because his knowledge of the Jewish scriptures was limited to what he heard in conversations. Not surprisingly despite Muhammad's numerous interactions with Jews in Arabia the Quran contains very few quotations from the Old Testament. Due to his ignorance of the scriptures Muhammad couldn't tell the difference between stories that were in the Torah and therefore divine revelation and stories from later Jewish writings and commentaries some of which were so late and so obviously fabricated they weren't far beyond the level of bedtime stories. Imagine how amusing it must be for someone who specializes in Jewish literature, to read the Quran and find so many fables being presented to Muslims as Revelation. Cain being taught how to bury the dead by a raven (al-Ma`idah (The Table, The Table Spread) 5:31), Solomon listening to a speech by an ant (Surah An-Naml - 15-25). But Muhammad just didn't know enough to distinguish scripture from non-scripture. Muhammad's ignorance of the Old Testament is also noteworthy because, like Jesus, he claimed to fulfill Old Testament prophecies. If Muhammad had been more knowledgeable of the Torah, he would have known that he couldn't possibly be a prophet for numerous reasons. For instance:
Problem 3.1 Muslim sources report that Muhammad once delivered what are now called "The Satanic Verses" to his followers. These verses promoted prayers to three pagan goddesses, Al-Lat and Al-'Uzza and Manat (Surah 53:19-20). Muhammad bowed down in honor of these polytheistic verses and his followers bowed down with him. But a little later Gabriel confronted Muhammad about his sin, Muhammad confessed in the history of AT-TABARI 6:111. So Muhammad admitted that he delivered a revelation that didn't really come from God. Why is this important? Well in Deuteronomy 18:20 "God declares but a prophet who presumes to speak in my name anything I have not commanded or a prophet who speaks in the name of other gods is to be put to death".
Problem 3.2 Muslims claim that they respect Moses, but if Muhammad had delivered "The Satanic Verses" during the time of Moses, Moses would have ordered the people to pick up stones and stone him to death as the most obvious false prophet in history. Muhammad didn't realize this due to his lack of familiarity with the Jewish scriptures.
Problem 4. Paul Was a Contemporary of Jesus Muhammad was not - The apostle Paul was a contemporary of Jesus and he spent much of his time in first century Israel, this put Paul in a perfect position to gain accurate historical information about Jesus. If you want reliable information about a person it's pretty helpful being a member of the person's own generation. And Paul was right there. Muhammad was born more than half a millennium after Jesus death in a completely different country. Since he couldn't read, apart from Divine Revelation his knowledge of Jesus was limited to whatever stories were popular in 7th Century Arabia. This is why when we read the Quran we find so many stories about Jesus that are known to be forgeries. Mary giving birth under a palm tree Surah Maryam - 16-26, Jesus preaching when he was still a baby Surat Maryam [19:29-34], Jesus giving life to clay birds Surah Al-Ma'idah - 110. We know where these stories come from, and they don't come from the first century.
Problem 5. Paul Spoke the Relevant Lanugaes Muhammad Didn't - The Apostle Paul was fluent in Hebrew Aramaic and Greek. All of the languages necessary for understanding the Old Testament, the claims of Jesus and the earliest Christian writings. Muhammad couldn't speak any of the relevant languages so any attempt to understand the Old Testament, the claims of Jesus, or the earliest Christian writings would have required the help of interpreters. I normally wouldn't bring this up as a problem, but since Muslims are obsessed with reading the Quran in the original Arabic, we can only assume that the writings of Moses, the teachings of Jesus and the writings of Jesus followers can only be understood in the original languages. Paul could do that, Muhammad couldn't. Muhammad's ignorance of the original languages leads to further problems: For example the Quran refers to the book revealed through, Jesus as the "Injil", but the Arabic word Injil is ultimately derived from the Greek word "Evangelion" meaning good news. So according to the Quran the book, revealed through Jesus was written in Greek, this makes absolutely no sense if Jesus was only sent to his fellow Jews as Islam claims, but it makes perfect sense if Jesus message was for the rest of the world as well since Greek was the international language of the time. Interestingly the New Testament gospels were written in Greek, exactly what we would expect given the quran's use of the term Injil, but quite unexpected given Muhammad's notion of Jesus life and mission, not to mention Muhammad's conviction that Revelations can't be translated. Quite hypocritical indeed.