Warning: I will not message you first. If you were messaged by someone claiming to be me you are in the process of being scammed.

You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.
Desktop Users: Comment on this post and Click here to start a trade App Users, please include the following in your PM (Remember to comment on this post as well):

• Type of card(s) and amount of each.
• What payment method you accept.
• How you acquired the GC and why you're getting rid of it.

Crypto^4, Paypal^1, Apple Pay, Chime, Cashapp, Varo, Venmo, and Western Union
I only have Steam as a substitute for cash payments in gift card trades.

Want ↓	Cash or a Gift Card ↓	Crypto4 ↓
Apple	60%3	NA
Amazon.ca	50%	50%
Amazon.co.uk	50%	50%
Amazon.com	70%	55%
Amazon.de	50%	50%
Amazon.es	50%	50%
Amazon.fr	50%	50%
Amazon.it	50%	50%
Amazon.jp	30%	30%
Arrow Films	65%	60%
Barnes & Noble	50%	50%
Baskin Robbins	60%	60%
Best Buy	25%	25%
BJ's (not BJ's restaurant)3	60%	NA
Bloomingdales	50%	50%
Burger King4	60%	NA
Clothing Shops (Small Boutique)	contact me	contact me
Dell3	60%	NA
Delta gift cards3	65%	NA
Delta Sky Miles3	PM me	NA
Delta Vouchers3	65%	NA
Dicks Sporting Goods 3	PM me	NA
Disney Plus	PM me	PM me
Dunkin Donuts3	60%	NA
eBay	70%	70%
Fandango3	10%	NA
Five Guys3	60%	NA
Gamestop	60%	60%
Gas Station Cards3	PM me	NA
Gyft	70%	70%
Half Price Books	50%	50%
iTunes3	60%	NA
J crew	40%	40%
JCPenney	25%	25%
Jersey Mike Subs3	60%	NA
KFC3	60%	NA
Khols	30%	30%
Macys	35%	35%
Magazines.com	40%	40%
McDonald's 3	60%	NA
Microsoft3	60%	NA
Moe’s Southwestern Grill3	60%	NA
Nintendo Eshop3	70%	NA
Nordstrom	50%	50%
Panera bread3	60%	NA
PSN3	60	NA
PSN Plus 12 month3	NA	NA
Saks Fifth Avenue	50%	50%
Sears	50%	50%
Sephora	50%	50%
Speedway (must be able to use on fuel)3	80%	NA
Staples	50%	50%
Starbucks US only	55%	55%
Steam3	60%	NA
Subway 3	PM me	NA
Taco Bell	60%	NA
Target	50%	50%
Urban Outfitters	50%	50%
Vudu3	50%	NA
Walmart	60%	60%
Wendys3	60%	NA
Xbox (gift cards)3	60%	NA
Other Clothing Stores, Gas Stations, Grocery Stores, Restaurant, & Fast Food gift cards	PM me

¹ When paying via PayPal, I can only send payments via Goods and Services, thus you will be charged a fee. If you'd rather not face this fee there are plenty of alternatives. ² Larger denominated gift cards preferred. ³ PayPal is the only payment option. ⁴ All crypto payments come from Coinbase. Any fees associated with it are built into the price.

What I don’t buy:

• Amazon.au
• Bass Pro Shop
• buffalo wild wing
• California Pizza Kitchen
• Canadian tire
• Cold Stone
• Dairy Queen
• Fanatics
• Giant Foods
• Google Play
• Grub Hub
• Gymshark
• Hilton Honors
• Hot Topic
• Krispy Kreme
• old navy/gap/banana republic
• Patxi's pizza
• PSN Canada or UK
• publix
• Raceway
• Scheels
• Shell Gas Stations
• Spotify
• Starbucks Canada
• Tractor supply
• Xbox Canada or UK
• Xbox live gold

Any fees are built into the price.

Selling

I have:
Up to $1000 in Amazon.com (can be broken up into smaller denominations) and am selling at

• 85%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)
• 90%: LTC

Up to $500 in eBay (can be broken up into smaller denominations) and am selling at

• 90%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)

Up to $500 in Apple.com ($15 and $50 denomination) and am selling at

• 90%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)

Important: before you send your codes please make sure your account is secure (if your password is not uniqe it's best to assume your account has already been compromised. Scams where compromised accounts are used to leverage reputation to scam an unsuspecting user, used to steal codes during the middle of the trade, and steal unused gift cards the victim was saving for later are increasingly commonplace. If you have any concerns as to your account's security, please reset your password now and force logout of all sessions. Thanks

Warning: I will not message you first. If you were messaged by someone claiming to be me you are in the process of being scammed.

You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.
Desktop Users: Comment on this post and Click here to start a trade App Users, please include the following in your PM (Remember to comment on this post as well):

• Type of card(s) and amount of each.
• What payment method you accept.
• How you acquired the GC and why you're getting rid of it.

Crypto^4, Paypal^1, Apple Pay, Chime, Cashapp, Varo, Venmo, and Western Union
I only have Steam as a substitute for cash payments in gift card trades.

Want ↓	Cash or a Gift Card ↓	Crypto4 ↓
Apple	60%3	NA
Amazon.ca	50%	50%
Amazon.co.uk	50%	50%
Amazon.com	70%	55%
Amazon.de	50%	50%
Amazon.es	50%	50%
Amazon.fr	50%	50%
Amazon.it	50%	50%
Amazon.jp	30%	30%
Arrow Films	65%	60%
Barnes & Noble	50%	50%
Baskin Robbins	60%	60%
Best Buy	25%	25%
BJ's (not BJ's restaurant)3	60%	NA
Bloomingdales	50%	50%
Burger King4	60%	NA
Clothing Shops (Small Boutique)	contact me	contact me
Dell3	60%	NA
Delta gift cards3	65%	NA
Delta Sky Miles3	PM me	NA
Delta Vouchers3	65%	NA
Dicks Sporting Goods 3	PM me	NA
Disney Plus	PM me	PM me
Dunkin Donuts3	60%	NA
eBay	70%	70%
Fandango3	10%	NA
Five Guys3	60%	NA
Gamestop	60%	60%
Gas Station Cards3	PM me	NA
Gyft	70%	70%
Half Price Books	50%	50%
iTunes3	60%	NA
J crew	40%	40%
JCPenney	25%	25%
Jersey Mike Subs3	60%	NA
KFC3	60%	NA
Khols	30%	30%
Macys	35%	35%
Magazines.com	40%	40%
McDonald's 3	60%	NA
Microsoft3	60%	NA
Moe’s Southwestern Grill3	60%	NA
Nintendo Eshop3	70%	NA
Nordstrom	50%	50%
Panera bread3	60%	NA
PSN3	60	NA
PSN Plus 12 month3	NA	NA
Saks Fifth Avenue	50%	50%
Sears	50%	50%
Sephora	50%	50%
Speedway (must be able to use on fuel)3	80%	NA
Staples	50%	50%
Starbucks US only	55%	55%
Steam3	60%	NA
Subway 3	PM me	NA
Taco Bell	60%	NA
Target	50%	50%
Urban Outfitters	50%	50%
Vudu3	50%	NA
Walmart	60%	60%
Wendys3	60%	NA
Xbox (gift cards)3	60%	NA
Other Clothing Stores, Gas Stations, Grocery Stores, Restaurant, & Fast Food gift cards	PM me

¹ When paying via PayPal, I can only send payments via Goods and Services, thus you will be charged a fee. If you'd rather not face this fee there are plenty of alternatives. ² Larger denominated gift cards preferred. ³ PayPal is the only payment option. ⁴ All crypto payments come from Coinbase. Any fees associated with it are built into the price.

What I don’t buy:

• Amazon.au
• Bass Pro Shop
• buffalo wild wing
• California Pizza Kitchen
• Canadian tire
• Cold Stone
• Dairy Queen
• Fanatics
• Giant Foods
• Google Play
• Grub Hub
• Gymshark
• Hilton Honors
• Hot Topic
• Krispy Kreme
• old navy/gap/banana republic
• Patxi's pizza
• PSN Canada or UK
• publix
• Raceway
• Scheels
• Shell Gas Stations
• Spotify
• Starbucks Canada
• Tractor supply
• Xbox Canada or UK
• Xbox live gold

Any fees are built into the price.

Selling

I have:
Up to $1000 in Amazon.com (can be broken up into smaller denominations) and am selling at

• 85%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)
• 90%: LTC

Up to $500 in eBay (can be broken up into smaller denominations) and am selling at

• 90%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)

Up to $500 in Apple.com ($15 and $50 denomination) and am selling at

• 90%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)

Important: before you send your codes please make sure your account is secure (if your password is not uniqe it's best to assume your account has already been compromised. Scams where compromised accounts are used to leverage reputation to scam an unsuspecting user, used to steal codes during the middle of the trade, and steal unused gift cards the victim was saving for later are increasingly commonplace. If you have any concerns as to your account's security, please reset your password now and force logout of all sessions. Thanks

I made this a while ago just for myself, but someone asked me to post it when I said I had a mix going from the 120s to the 170s, so figured I'd share it here too.
Aritmya - Hey Man (Impose Mix)
Xpansions 95 - Move Your Body (Tony De Vit Mix)
Itchy & Scratchy - I Want U... (NRG Mix)
The Shaker - Strong to Survive
Eating Habits - May I Have The Mayonnaise
2 Bad Mice - Bombscare (UXB Mix)
Cagey Groove (Original Mix)
The Numerical Value - Krazy Noise (Instranormal Remix)
DJ Supreme - Tha Wildstyle (Klubbheads Hardstyle Mix)
Porn Kings - Up To No Good (Original Mix)
East 17 - Steam (P & C 2 Mix)
Baby Blue - Child (KLM Mix)
Joe Inferno - Tribal Church
Cosmopolitan - Cry Boy Tony De Vit Remix
Pianoman- Blurred (Original)
Point 2 - Wait 1 Minute
Montreal Sound - (Sure Of) You (Marc Kulak Remix)
Marmion - Schöneberg (Tony De Vit Mix)
Brain Bashers - Party Jumping (Original Mix)
Phunky Phantom - Get Up Stand Up (KLM Vocal Mix)
Technocat Featuring Tom Wilson - Technocat (Tony De Vit Mix)
Tall Paul - Rock Da House (Experts Remix)
Piano Pimps - Everybody (Magic Alecs Summertime Summit)
Moonman - Dont Be Afraid
Scooter - Fire Dub 1
Vincent de Moor - Flowtation (Original Mix)
Quench - Dreams (Tony De Vit Mix)
DOP Ft Lorna Marshall - Manifest Your Love Tooley St Dub
The Shaker - Mooncat Bonesys Hand Spear Vocal Mix
Deeper Cut - Organ Grinder
Felix - Dont You Want Me (Candy Girls Remix)
Artemesia - Bits + Pieces (Tony De Vit Mix)
99th Floor Elevators featuring Tony De Vit - Hooked (Tony De Vit remix)
Handbaggers - U Found Out (Tony De Vit Mix)
Quartz Lock Featuring Lonnie Gordon - Love Eviction (Tony De Vit V2 Remix)
Chakka Boom Bang - Tossing And Turning (Tony De Vit Mix)
Funkydory - Goodtimes 96 (Tony De Vit Mix)
Tony De Vit - Burning Up (Trade Club Mix)
Mrs. Wood - Joanna (Tony De Vit V2 Remix)
Signum - What Ya Got 4 Me (Original 12_ Vocal)
Movin Melodies – Indica (Original Mix)
Dj Ablaze - One More
Tom Wax & Jan Jacarta - Wormhole
UK Gold - Nuclear Shower (UK Gold remix)
rachel auburn - machine man (Original Mix)
Cadenza - Rock Your Enemies
DJ Misjah & DJ Tim - Access
Tony De Vit - Feel The Love
Antic – The Ultimate (Original Mix)
Feel The Rush (Evil Bass Remix)
Incisions - Beyond Motion (Chocis Choice Mix)
Fargetta - Music Is Moving (Tony De Vit Mix)
Outlander - The Vamp (Tony De Vit Remix)
Mrs. Ping & Mr. Pong - Ping Pong (Fetzners Netzangabe Mix)
Age Of Love - The Age Of Love (Tony De Vit Remix)
Diddy - Give Me Love (Tony De Vit Mix)
E-Motion - Naughty North Sexy South (Tony De Vit Remix)
The Frank Foundation Project - Do Not Be Afraid (TDV Mix)
Knuckleheadz - House Rocca
Dyewitness - What Would You Like To Hear Again (Dancefloor Glory Remix)
The Experts – Take You There
Rizzo - Keep Ya Head On
Jens - Loops & Tings
Hampshire And Weatherley - Breathless (Tony De Vit Mix)
Louise - Naked (Tony De Vit Remix)
E-trax - Lets Rock (Tony De Vit remix)
Dr Base – Blue Oyster
VTracks - Subway 26 (Tony De Vit Remix)
Cygnus X - Turn Around (Tony De Vit Trade Mix)
Version II - Skychilds Toccata (6am At Trade Mix)
Mark NRG - Brain Is The Weapon (Lexa Remix)
The Disciples – Underrave
DJ Eric Sneo - Forces Of Nature (Original Mix)
Tony De Vit - Resistance Is Futile
Tony De Vit - Splashdown (Original Mix)
Tony De Vit - The Dawn (Original Mix)
Tony De Vit - I Dont Care (Original Trade Mix)
Kleine Boiz - Eine Kleine Nacht Musik
Tony de Vit - Are You All Ready
https://soundcloud.com/user-665914143-387391396/tony-de-vit-tribute-mix-78-tracks-he-played-live-1-he-didnt

Trying to get rid of some manga. condition varies some brand new, some very used and are priced accordingly.
Open to offers.
Shipping not including. if you buy enough then I will pay for shipping.
Tried to price things best I could if you believe pricing isn't fair and you're interested we can work something out.
Signed Funko! at the bottom.
Thanks for looking!
Photo Link: Images/Proof
Manga Lots 3+ Volumes:
A, A tropical fish yearns for snow vol 1-3 15$
B, Bloody Mary vol 1-4,6 30$
Bride of the water god vol 1-9 90$
C, Chainsaw Man BAM Box set vol 1-4 (With Poster) 20$
D,
E,
F,
G,
H, Hi score girl vol 1-8 50$
I,
J,
K, Kare kano vol 8,11-14 25$
L,,
M, Mashle vol 1-3 15$
N, Naruto Vol 8-10,12-13,26-28,39,41-43,50 (13 Volumes Total) 45$
O,
P,
Q,
R,
S, Shaman King Singles Vol 1,2,2,3,3,5,7,7,8,8,12 6$ Each
T, Testarotho vol 1-4 Complete 30$
The Saviors book Cafe story in another world vol 1-5 Complete 45$
U,
V,
W,
X,
Y,
Z.
Manga Lots with 1-2 Volumes:
A,
A distant Neighborhood Singles vol 1-2 Complete 20$
B,
Beast Complex Vol 1 7$
Blue Period vol 1-2 15$
C,
Citrus vol 1,6 15$
Code Geass vol 1 15$
Captain Harlock vol 2 HC 10$
20th Century Boys Singles vol 2 10$
D,
Dragon Head vol 7 20$
Dragon Ball Z vol 7 4$
Drrr!! Vol 1 7$
E,
F,
Full Metal Panic! Vol 1 8$
Firefighter daigo vol 4 15$
G,
Golden Kamuy vol 1 8$
H,
Happy Mania vol 1 15$
Hells Paradise vol 1 8$
Hi Score Girl Vol 1 6$
I,
Inside Mari vol 9 8$
Iron wok jan! Vol 4 12$
J,
Jujutsu Kaisen vol 1 (Spine Miss Print) 3$
Jing:King of bandits vol 7 3$
K,
Kamisama Kiss vol 7 8$
Kaiju NO.8 Vol 1 8$
Kodocha Vol 5 9$
Knights of sidonia singles vol 4 10$
King of cards vol 4 10$
L,
Look Back vol 1 8$
Lupin 3 Singles Vol 1 12$
M,
Mashima Heros 7$
My Hero academia smash vol 1 5$
N,
Naruto the Official fanbook 6$
Naruto Forever The unofficial Guide 6$
Naruto Full Color Movie Manga 6$ each
Nightmare inspector vol 4 4$
No man's land vol 1-2 Complete 10$
O,
One Piece Gold Foil vol 4 12$
Oh my goddess vol 31 8$
Oh my goddess vol 19,19,19,19 20$ Each
P,
Prison school Vol 14 13$
Phantom Tales of the night vol 1 8$
Q,
R,
Records of Ragnorok vol 1 8$
S,
Sayonara Football Volume 1 8$
Solo Leveling Vol 1-2 26$
sweetness and lightning volume 1 7$
Scums Wish Vol 1 18$
Sweat and Soap vol 1-2 14$
Steins Gate Vol 1 Loot Crate Exclusive 20$
Stellvia vol 1-2 10$
Shortcake cake vol 1 6$
Shaman king omnibus vol 1 10$
Saiyuki vol 1 HC 12$
T,
The Last Uniform Vol 1 10$
Tokyo Knights vol 1 3$
Tokyo tribes vol 3 6$
U,
V,
Vampire Hunter D Vol 2 7$
W,
Wotakoi B&N Exclusive vol 1 10$
X,
Xo Genasys vol 1 6$
Y,
Yowamushi Pedal Loot Crate Exclusive Vol 1 10$
Yakitate!! Vol 6 4$
Yona of the dawn vol 1,34 12$
Z.



Manga Light Novels:
A,
B,
C,
D,
E,
F,
G,
Goblin Slayer LN Vol 1 7$
H,
I,
J,
K,
L,
M,
My Youth Romantic Comedy Is WRONG as I expected Ln Vol 1-2 15$
Monster Girl Doctor Ln Vol 1 6$
N,
Naruto Mission protect the waterfall village! Ln 6$
Naruto Innocent Heart,Demonic Blood Ln 6$
No Game No life LN vol 1 7$
O,
P,
Q,
R,
Re: Zero Ln Vol 1 7$
S,
T,
The Alchemist Who Survived Now Dreams Of Quiet City Life Ln Vol 1-2 15$
The Saga of the tanya of evil Ln Vol 1 8$
The Saga of the tanya of evil Ln Vol 1 8$
Toradora Ln Vol 1 8$
The twelve kingdoms Ln 7$

U,
V,
Vampire Hunter D LN vol 2 10$
W,
X,
Y,
Z.
Signed Funko!
Jiraiya On Toad Hot Topic Exclusive Signed By David Lodge (Long Quote) PSA Cert #73 200$
Ahsoka Amazon Exclusive Signed by Rosario Dawson JSA Cert #467 300$
Photo: images/proof

[OC Intro: The game is modded to increase basic jobs cost, seasonal events are disabled. Much of the crash details are based on NASA/SP-2008-565 Columbia Crew Survival Investigation Report recommendations especially Chapter 3 "Occupant Protection".]
The ship is without power, and Tightniks can't run the radar much without draining the batteries. He has only a few minutes of APU power left, goes over the best clearing he can find, and radars it. It varies by only a few feet from the aerodynamic glideslope there. He spots it out on the cameras and circles to go after that spot. He's only at two hundred feet now. With one hand on the stick, he uses the other to open the pressure equalization valve on the side hatch, then at one hundred feet, gets it undogged. Depending on how much damage he's going to get, it's less likely to be stuck closed and trap him. The dynamic vacuum this pulls in the cockpit rips most of the survival pack data cards from that rack and scatters them across the landscape. Crap, I'm gonna need those! Refocusing on surviving the next few seconds, he turns on the radar for the final approach, takes a last look around, then straight ahead at his forward camera and PFD, he clicks his HANS and shoulder strap locks in; after that, he can barely move, but that now is better than dying in this crash with a broken neck. He's a decent pilot and brings up the flare gently. Bringing up the alpha on this delta-winged ship, he balloons a little, but keeps the nose going up and restores a zero aerodynamic sink rate just above the highest terrain indicated by the radar altimeter. The ship bumps a little in the ground effect, and he can see the radar altitude cycling irregularly up and down about five feet at a time. Rougher than it looked from higher up! The body flap protecting the dead engines hits first, and the nose comes rapidly down. It hits, the screens go blank, and Tightniks is surrounded by airbags, some lifting his feet from the rudder petals and his hand from the control stick. It's blinding, it's disorienting, it's noisy, and, to his relief, it's long! It takes several seconds before the crashing cockpit stops moving. How many times did he flip over? Did he go sideways and roll? Am I rightside up? Are we really stopped on the ground? The airbags deflate, and he can move his arms. He gets his restraints loose and inspects himself. "Uck!" he says out loud (without the 'f'). No broken bones. His pressure suit can take his blood pressure. 116/81, pulse 112, blood oxygen 99 reads off on his left arm, I'll friggin' take it!
The ship is amazingly intact from what he can tell. He can't get any readings. The systems test meter seems to be working, but can't find any voltages anywhere. The ship seems to be completely dead. Behind him, 10 passenger seats are all surrounded by airbags and the back of the cabin ends in some sort of dirt-and-gravel and there's a bit of daylight seeping in around the edges. He was the only one on board, though, so their deployment was mostly academic (they might have stiffened the structure a little during the crash, but that's probably trivial.) Tightniks gets out of his spacesuit. The air on this planet is actually breathable. He gets the hatch open, steps outside and-
"A green shimmer erupts then disappears, and you hit the ground."
The human emerges from the glowing green mist and hits the ground. Groans. Pushes against that ground, trying to get back up. Where am I? What's my name? I remember nothing. Aren't babies born naked? He's got a dark blue button-down shirt on. A uniform? A shoulder patch. Gets up, looks around. I feel really heavy. I'm not that fat, am I? He picks up a small stone from the ground, this also feels heavier than it should. He rises to his feet and holds it out somewhat (he's unable to fully extend his arm) and lets it go. The stone hits the ground near his feet quickly and with remarkable speed. It's the gravity, it's greater than it is on- ...where am I from? This is- ...not my home planet? "Oooh..."
"Ka?" it says.
What is that? It's cute, at least.
It is not tame. He has no hope of catching it on foot. The creature seems to like the berries. Maybe if I gather some of those into one place and set some kind of trap...
33s: First trap.
I got one! The human lumbers up to the trap and gets the catch open. Do you bite? It doesn't matter much to me; I'm so friggin' screwed.
It doesn't. It looks at the human with a sense of wonder, actually. A blink and tilt of the head. Seems almost to be asking, Is it you? My purpose? My savior? Once out of the trap, which is totally wrecked, he has to make a new one from scratch, it follows him around like a imprinted hatchling bird.
Wiry little fella, you are. You're going to need some bulking up to do anything useful. The- ...'trimp', I guess... The trimp seems just barely able to feed itself. The human lets him into the broken ship's intact cabin, and it curls up comfortably in a passenger seat for a nap.
1m03s: Second trap.
"Apparently the Trimps breed if they're not working. Doesn't look pleasant."
What are they doing?
The trimps appear to be androgynous, and these two have paired off in the back of the ship. They're holding something carefully within a few hours, feeding it berries, grass, and- ...corundum.
Corundum?? Whatever that is, it isn't a baby.
1m35s: Third trap.
Only it IS a baby! The third trimp he trapped immediately joined the other two in raising it. They have a strange diet of food the human has found compatible with his own body, but they also eat rocks! They're careful to crush and sort aluminate minerals from silcate ones and only eat aluminate. Actually, they don't eat aluminate, they're only feeding it to the baby.
2m06s: Fourth trap.
All four are raising the same child, who is just starting to toddle. It seems these fellas have alumina or maybe even aluminum bones. The human takes a nap and wakes to find the first child grown up and they're starting to raise a second child, all five of them.
2m46s: Huts.
The human found a working bit of electronics. He calls it a pad, but maybe it's more like a smartphone. It has plans for two residential structures. The first, the smaller one, he can build right away, but the second one needs something called "drywall", and he has to figure out how to make that before he can build it. Huts and houses, apparently.
3m13s: 10 pop, full, first farmer.
The trimp he trained to farm and make paper took an incredible 50 units of food to get bulked up to do the work, and now it's not participating in rearing the child. But less than an hour after the trimp started farming and pulping, the child was out on its own, and the trimps did not start another. The ten seats on the ship were all full. Well, eleven counting the one up front that the human sleeps in. The pilot starts exploring the area.
3m28s: Battle.
Wait, what are you do-
The hostile roars and charges at the human, but one of his trimps jumps in front of him with a stick and they fight. It started right when the human got far enough away from the ship that the hostile non-trimps away from the ship began to regard him as leaving his own territory. After the trimp defeats the first enemy, it continues after other hostiles.
3m53s: Shield I in Z1c5.
The human is easily able to recover the loot in the territory cleared by the fighting trimp. Then he sees something glinting in the- That can't be! What the heck is that? It's a data card that fits his pad. It quite clearly regards trimp combat. He gets it loaded into his pad and studies it. I can do this, it just takes some wood. He returns to the ship to discover that they had already started on a new child before the fighter had even expired in battle. The human concentrates on his research.
4m38s: Mskel in Z1c11 defeated.
The remains of this one seem rather white and shiny. It's titanium! This enemy had titanium bones! He'll store them away. They'll be useful someday, I'm sure.
5m52s: Dagger I in Z1c20.
Where are these data cards coming from? The human wonders as he loads this one into his pad, It's for a weapon it calls a dagger. He blinks. I don't know what a dagger is. I'll take your word for it, data card. Needs metal. He has gathered some, but ore is plentiful. He can just dig and smelt it whenever he wants. For now, I'll continue researching.
6m18s: Arable in Z1c21.
It's an old cave that trimps like to live in. Why weren't they able to live there before? How could these friendly critters be confined to only the exact spot where THAT thing, he looks back where he came from, not remembering that he piloted the wrecked ship to its current resting place, crashed? This is really strange. I'll let them fill up this cave before advancing further. Wait, what about defenses? The hostiles never try to reclaim territory that they've lost, so he stops worrying about that fairly quickly.
8m22s: First hut is 0.3% first ever AP.
The trimps seem fairly easy to please in terms of living quarters. Two move into his first hut and start raising a child. The human has his tent, uniform, and the heater pilfered from his space suit. Not much of a mud fan.
9m59s: Miners in Z1c30.
Oh, what's on this data card? Sl3niw? Oh, I'm holding the pad upside down. Miners. I can teach trimps how to mine ores and smelt met- 200 units of food? Each job is getting more expensive to train a trimp for. He puts his bee nickels to his eyes and spots another data card probably 10 enemies away. "Sc"? Does that means science? I can teach trimps to do science??
13m57s: Scientists in Z1c40.
Due to the expense of training trimps, the human couldn't afford to build them shields until now, he's got Sh1-3 made for the fighter to capture the science training data card. 14m02s: One head went into that turtlimp shell, that of his fighter, but two came out: his fighter still has his head on, and he managed to get the turtlimp's head off. It rushes off after the deadly penguimp in the next cell. The shields are not doing all that much good, actually, but they're better than nothing. The human picks up and loads the science data card and- Holy runny sugar-free fudge crap! 1000 food units, but it'll endow them with the ability to speak. Good. I'm getting bored with no one to talk to.
14m28s: Bloodlust purchased and AutoFight enabled (that delay after getting it is an effect of jacking up the job cost.)
As the human buries this expired little trimp warrior, he comes to the sobering realization that he has more trimp graves in his growing trimp colony than he does live trimps. And yet they seem more hopeful now than before I got to know any of them. They seem to think I'm the solution to all their problems or- Those two look east somberly, then notice that he's watching them and smile back and wave at him. ...one problem that is specific, but very, very huge for them. [The only reason I say 'east' is because that's right on a map, and the game advances right across a row, then up. I might say 'northeast' on occasion for that reason.]
20m47s: Z1c73, Miners taken.
Are you my new mining foreman? The trimp who took to the mining training has dark brown fur that lays flat on its head. It's unusual in not having any bits that stick out from its head, ahoge or whatever. This one is relatively quiet, and while it has assimilated the mining and smelting knowledge, it needs to bulk up to do any mining. Smelting is relatively easy, and getting a strong natural draft going in a furnace is almost trivial with the increased gravity. This trimp builds furnaces like nothing. And likes to nap in holes it digs right on the spot; it's weird that way. [Puchim@s Yukipo, and furnaces are not explicit in Trimps.]
21m58s: Farming in Z1c80.
The resourcing "books" are not data cards but paper scrolls, apparently lost to the trimps. It seems that they were civilized in the recent past and some calamity swept over the planet to reduce them to this. Did I have something to do with it? Amnesia sucks harder than a Dyson- ...what's a Dyson? Whatever, it sucks. This disaster happening just before I crash in the only spot with trimps still alive would be a seriously crazy coincidence! Something is really, really wrong about all this. [The author has not sought or received product placement permission or fee from Dyson Technology Ltd. or any resellers of their stuff, just they literally suck balls and made my favorite vacuum cleaner.]
23m50s: Builder in Z1c90.
They've rescued an, I dunno, gelding trimp? It just started to build a shed around the piled lumber I left to build one. It's really slow compared to me, and just banged its thumb, but it is super cute with that long reddish head fur. That particular trimp is also fascinated with pink ribbons and likes to decorate its head fur with them. Because of its inherent inability to participate in rearing children, it isn't counted in the population. [Puchim@s Io, builder on the basis of Iori seen building in 1x10.]
26m02s: Zone 2, 44 pop, 5.5s RC with Z0/1.
It's some sort of tactical manual - tactical coordination. Coordination! He's starting to sort out some trimpese on the research he has done so far. It needs a lot of metal, so they won't be able to implement it for some time. Hopefully, they're still good one at a time, but these enemies seem to be getting bigger as we go along. Uh oh!
27m33s: Gym in Z2c5.
It's some sort of training dojo or sporting arena. The human examines the ruins, I think I can back-engineer drawings for this, get one built, and see what happens.
29m02s: 1g, 47 pop, 10.8s RC with Z1/2.
The two fighting trimps now with their gym and coordination are dodging and blocking enthusiastically, and making much faster ground against the bad guys then a little while ago when it was just one trimp fighting at a time and unable to avoid the enemy hitting back.
40m46s: Fresh turkimp in Z2c74, 63 pop, 7.9s RC, Sh1-10, Da1-5, Bo1-3, Ma1-3, Hm1-3, 6g.
Oh, wow, the laborers seem really hot after this turkimp. He cooks it up and tries a slice. It's really awesome! I have to work alongside his laboring trimps to share it, but I'm getting used to the gravity now. That scroll we found back in Z2c10 really helped. Trimps' techniques and appliances for handicapped individuals, and I'm really handicapped in this higher gravity. He joins the woodcutters with the turkimp; they're the most numerous resource laborer right now, building more gyms, enough that the block/dodge ability of the fighting trimps is almost caught up to the enemy's ability to cause damage.
43m15s: Zone 3, 63 pop, 7.9s RC with Z1/2.
I'm neglecting my science and trimp scientists are really expensive. Curiously, that grey-haired one can't speak all that well, only says "Tai" and "Shijou", but it can write and draw like nobody's business. It's the only scientist so far. [Puchim@s Takanya: Online references probably still claim that she can utter the first two syllables of any word, but she can actually utter only the first two kana syllables of someone's name, most often the given name of basis human Takane Shijou, who also has that habit. (All the utterances of the puchidoru are based on the speech foibles of their basis humans except maybe Piyopiyo, where I haven't seen anything match up so far.)]
47m32s: Finally, we can make drywall and houses. 59m30s: Z3c77, 94 pop, 7.8s RC.
Oh, those poor things are really struggling up at the front. These trimps are enthusiastic and know no fear, but I still feel like telling them to stop for a while. I don't have the heart to keep them from trying while they're still doing some damage.
1h05m24s: Zone 4, 107 pop, 9.3s RC with Z3/4. 1h15m26s: Zone 5, 120 pop, 8.2s RC with Z3/4.
"What is that?" the human asks. He has three scientists. His first does all the writing, but the other two can actually speak. One of them hops up on a rock spire beside the human to reach his eye level.
At the next ridge line, over the lowest and most passable gap in the terrain, this really mean looking hovering sausage monster.
"I dunno," the scientist trimp shrugs, "But it's making me hungry. Looks like a perfectly cooked frankfurter from here." [John Morell's dubious dirigibles.]
"Oh, yeah," the human nods, "that's a blimp."
"A blimp?" the trimp tilts its head quizzically at the human, "How could you know?"
"I wish I could tell you, little buddy," the human extends his arm braces to descend the pass on the side of the zone boundary in the boss enemy's direction, then grunts, "Let's go kill it."
1h16m11s: Z1c9, 120 pop, 10.3s RC with Z4/5. 1h33m34s: Zone 6, 151 pop, 7.4s RC with Z4/5.
1h33m54s: TP in Z1c3.
"What's this?" the human asks, having picked up the little square document with the curling corners.
"Oh," the hungry scientist looks at it, "It's a garden path, follow me."
"You want to lead me down the garden path?" the human says.
"Yeah," the scientist says.
"Are you kidding?" the human asks.
"No," says the other scientist, "We don't get human humor. Listen, these fighters can't go, let them wear themselves out here, then we'll take the next group through this garden."
"Okay," the human nods, watching two more trimps join the fray as he issues the Z5 coordination orders, "they're doing pretty well after all that block training research we just wrapped up." [That's a common artifact, even in normal games, Z5 Traintacular combines with many gyms, enough population to add several trainers, affording Blockmaster, which is expensive on a run zero, plus a break on Tion Z5, a 40% all-stat increase. I don't think Zach designed it into the game on purpose, it just worked out this way.]
1h34m07s: 151 pop, 10.5s RC with Z5/7. 1h37m44s: Drop from Z6c39, TP for 3.
"Now we have these access map frags we can use to route through the old trimpopoli," the scientist explains, "Atlimpis for food, Morimpa for gems, Everimp for metal, and Impazon for wood."
"What about the garden?" the human asks.
"Well, we got lucky with Tricky Paradise," the scientist says, "but you can randomize the route and maybe get lucky. What's with that look?"
"Somehow, I'm remembering 'frag' as something that blew up with deadly pieces," the human says. [Different video games - ones with better graphics and worse gameplay Ｏ(>▽<)Ｏ]
1h39m59s: Blues back up to the top on series I...
"Tai, Tai!" the first ever trimp scientist stops the human just before he upgrades the mace and dagger to Mk.6 and Mk. 8 respectively. It has a note for him.
"Why do you keep calling me that?" the human asks, "Do you think that's my name?"
"Shijou, Shijou," it nods as though to indicate, I KNOW it is. Then it proffers its note again. The human takes it and reads, "Don't upgrade the first row equipment right now."
"Why not?" the human asks.
"Shijou," it points at the end of the mapped route, where there's a scroll sticking out of the thistles.
2h24m07s: Zone 8, 224 pop, 12.2s RC with Z7/12.
"Your settlement is getting crowded, there's Trimps in the streets, and you're taking heat. You feel a sudden strong desire to create a map, though you're not quite sure how that would help."
2h49m10s: Zone 9, 357 pop, 9.5s RC with Z8/15.
"You can't shake the feeling that you've been here before. Déjà-vu?"
The trimps really seem to like the new high capacity mansions, and the village has rapidly expanded since they started building them.
"There's something familiar about this," the human says.
"Tai," the grey one that writes clings to his arm and shows him a note that says, "Don't give up now."
"We must persist," says the yellow one has found a foothold it can grab onto and grabs the human's shoulder gently, "If you give up to early, we'll never solve this. You'll be stuck here forever."
The human puts his hand over the trimp's paw on his shoulders, then looks at him, "I can die, too."
"No, you can't," the trimp says quietly, "Please don't test that, tall one."
"Death is just another path..." he remembers.
"Gan," the grey one squeaks. [That's the first two kana syllables of "Gandalf"]
"...one that we all must take," the human continues, "The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it-"
"A green mist," the yellow trimp interrupts, "flash of fire, we're all gone and our progress forgotten. The wandering stars return to that day, and you again crash that ship- ...a little better every time."
"Wait," the human looks around, "have I been here before?"
"I-" the yellow trimp tries in futility to share what little it knows, "...or... somebody got just a little coolant into the-"
"Into the what?"
"This side up," the grey one's note says.
"Into the that," the yellow one points at the note, "It really helped. You- ...I don't think we've ever had mansions before."
Well, of course they didn't have mansions before. That was one of my ship's data cards. How did it get way out here? Will anything start to make sense?
3h02m13s: Zone 10, 387 pop, 8.7s RC with Z8/15; '28s: 11.1s RC with Z9/19. 3h16m41s: Tough snimp after food book, L10 rand dept from lo-hi-med 118/25/96, 4 Items.
"That's twice our frags led us to gem-rich Moria," the human says.
"Morimpa," the new red trimp scientist corrects, there now being 5 scientists. [There'd be more if there were more turkimp.]
"The question is how do we use all these gems?" the human looks at the village zoning plans again, "I like those mansions and all, but they use hardly any gems compared to, well-" he gestures at the pile of over two dozen thousand gems they've gathered, "-that! And still a lot of wood and lumber."
"I think there's something," the yellow one sighs, "I wish I knew more."
Quite some time later, after they're done looting that route for equipment plans, the trimps are again advancing through Zone 10, and he hears it.
"Tai?" the grey one wonders.
"Where are you going?" the yellow one asks.
"To the farm," the human answers.
"Whatever for?" the red one seems exasperated.
"Shijou?" the grey one sighs, then looks at the fighting front. It's been around long enough to remember, "Shijou!"
"You guys already get so much to eat this doesn't do you much good," the human explains.
3h32m33s: L11 112/35/78 rand sea, dropped from Z11c6 with disband, 4.
"What's wrong?" the red one asks.
The human comforts one of the wounded. Once trimps start into a zone fight, they have to finish before they bleed out. He's really bothered making them desert in front of that second turkimp. "They had a lot left in them," he sighs, rubbing his eyes, "but we can't keep that much dead turkimp at once, we have to leave it alive to use up all of this one."
"Shijou," the grey one presents a note, "We need this map right away, anyway. Don't worry about it, Tightniks."
"Tightniks?" he looks at the grey one, "Is that me? How do you know?"
"Tai," the grey one points at the top of the human's left breast pocket.
"Ah, crud," the yellow one curls its tail around in front of itself as trimps do when they're embarrassed, "Is that really a name tag?"
The human hadn't even noticed it since the green flash blew up his memory as he was stepping out of the ship.
4h04m22s: Block (sub-8h AP is only 0.3%), taking it, 504 pop, 9.8s RC with Z10/24.
It's a pretty thick book about using shields for block instead of hit points. The pad has the stats analysis. Sh3-1 is only giving us 9% of our hit points. Turning to his trimp scientists, he says, "It seems to me to be worth it."
"Let's," the yellow one nods.
"Shijou," it hands him a note, "It scales badly, but that won't matter for a long time. I think there's a way to undo it before it matters."
"Doing it." The human takes out his pad and starts scanning.
4h29m05s: L14 rand moun 137/26/80 is really good for a lo-hi-med. 4h30m52s: Hotels.
"Ah," the yellow one says, "I knew there was something. That must be it."
5h08m09s: L15 lo-hi-hi rand gard 129/28/82 (just got explorers). 5h09m32s: Picked up Wall.
"Dam," the human says.
"Damn?" the red one chuckles.
"No," the human says, "Earthen wall dam; it's a thing that makes artificial lakes by holding rivers back."
"Lakes?" the yellow one asks, "Rivers?"
"Oh yeah," the human says, "This planet doesn't have enough rain for those..."
5h48m21: Leaving Wall from about c70 to fetch Tion Z15.
"You can't resume the map from the same point if you start another," the human reads the grey one's note.
"We can go back to the same point on that route if we hold there and finish Zone 15, right?" Tightniks asks.
"Shijou!" it seems to be saying yes.
"Yes," the yellow one adds, "but we're out of Series III upgrades, and you need a fresh map route to start up Series IV."
"We should be okay," Tightniks says, "but if we have to start it over, I don't see that being a big deal." As they advance through the rest of Zone 15, Tightniks resumes his usual duties at the research desk instead building and running traps like he was before.
The trimps seem hopeful at this decision.
5h49m10s: Fresh turkimp. 5h50m16s: Zone 16, 1071 pop, 13.4s RC with Z15/75, 13m43s turkimp (skel in c1.)
"Z:16 Seriously? Another Blimp so soon?"
"So," Tightniks lowers his bee nickels and looks at the red one, "is it going to be boss fights at the end of every zone from now on?"
"Hmm," the red trimp looks up past the human at some random rock spire or cloud.
"Well?" the human persists.
"Yup," he says.
"Hmph," Tightniks grabs a Sw3-1 of the rack and advances towards the front, "Before then, we have another Mister Titanium."
"What does he like about skeletimps?" the red one asks the grey one as the human marches off.
"Shijou?" the grey one seems just as confused by that.
"He's not going back to the ship, and he's not getting himself killed," the yellow one smiles, "so I'll take it."
5h58m32s...
"Hey guys, go for the mortar!" the human suggests to his 75 fighting trimps in the Wall's boss fight.
"I can tell from your bedtime stories that you're used to the artillery in that other place," the yellow one gripes, "but fighting works differently here, there's no artillery."
And the human instantly collapses laughing, the scientists a little worried he might have injured himself in the planet's severe gravity. But he's okay, at least physically, "Mortar is the stuff between the bricks, fellas. That's is a brickimp, right?"
5h59m18s: Wall, 1076 pop, 13.3s RC, 1% AP for sub-8h finish, first L16 roll good 156/35/84 moun, 10 for the metal.
Beyond the Wall was a more edenic section of the trimpolis ruins, doubling the production of the lumberjacks. The trimps are actually really happy with the mode of all of the laborers moving between the three big jobs, along with the turkimp, except for the foremen specialized at leading the job. It isn't enough to boost their productivity, but the human goes to them with trays of sandwiches.
6h06m52s: 50 map run 0.3% AP...
6h19m13s: Zone 17, 1141 pop, 16.0s RC with Z16/94, no turkimp.
"Z:17 You climb a large cliff and look out over the new Zone. Red dirt, scorched ground, and devastation. Is that a Dragimp flying around out there?!"
"Hmm," the human surveys the new zone with his bee nickels, "Looks like crap. Any ideas?"
"You're the idea man," the yellow one groans.
"Set the map flag," he puts his bee nickels away, "We'll run a depth for practice and to load up on gems for more hotels."
"Righto," the red one gets to work.
6h44m34s: First DCP. (Draglimp Care Package; I refuse to call it a tribute.)
"Oh," the human says, "It's tame now, so it brings back gems in exchange for food?" He looks at his gaping scientists, "That's what it looks like, huh? Guys? Yo!"
"Tai..." the grey one sighs.
Draglimp, the dragimp imprinted on Tightniks, lands beside the human, drops some gems at his feet, and accepts some scratching behind its horns before diving into the food bowl.
"You tamed a dragimp???" Grey's note says.
"Well," the yellow one huffs, "I guess that happened."
8h18m53s: L20 depth of 154/27/79.
"Mapping up here?" the red one half closes one eye and tilts his head.
"Yeah," the human says while fitting together the depth map fragments, "With the coordination book not right at the end, we have an extra mark of coordination to take advantage of. Let's take our housing up to 2000 or so, shall we?"
"Okay," the yellow one says from a pile of logs, "What's all the wood for?" They had been collecting it for days now.
"The series upgrades follow a rather specific pattern," Tightniks explains, "Just on the other side of this blimp is Zone 21, where we should be able to find the Shield series V, right?"
"Shijou!" the grey one nods.
8h56m17s: 1% AP for 100 map runs, leaving it, 1751 pop, 24.8s RC with Z20/232. 8h56m54s: Zone 21...
"Ooooookay," Tightniks growls, "There is something off about this thing."
"Shijou?" the grey one looks at the yellow one with concern about their human starship pilot friend.
The human stoops, picks up the little green gem on the ridge between Zone 20 and 21, looks at it, huffs, and asks, "Any idea where this comes from?"
"Err..." the red one seems hesitant to say, "I think you made it."
"Really?" the human huffs, "How could that be?" Then he tosses it at Red, "See if anything reacts to it. It might be radioactive, so we should take turns to minimize exposure."
"Really?" Red's holding it now, "What makes you say that?"
"Because I'm pissed off for no reason I can figure out," the human says, "I think it's coming from that."
"Frags," the red one says quickly, "I think it's arranging a route. You're good with maps," it tosses the gem to the grey scientist.
"Shijou," the grey one says hopefully, and has a map drawn within a few minutes. [Whether it looks like the one in Puchim@s 1x61 is anyone's guess. That one annoyed me as well as Chihya.]
9h02m37s: L21 moun first roll was a decent 160/26/84. 9h21m00s: Starting run 5 of that map...
Tightniks had taken his anger out on some food and wood to build about 8000 traps. Now he's leaning against a rock spire in his increasingly tattered uniform. A nap begins, perhaps unintentionally.
Wild trimps are examining the pile, finding it unwelcoming, and also finding no place in the town, just mill about. It looks like they want to help.
"Ku?" it's a blue trimp, probably a farmer waiting for stuff to grow, climbs up on the rock spire the human is leaning against, starts patting him on the head, "Ku. Ku ku." [Puchim@s Chihya.]
9h23m09s: Still working that lap...
Tightniks wakes up from that nap, and the grey one is standing there. "Shijou," it says with a note of concern, although not much of one. The note it holds says, "It wasn't me."
"Oh, what wasn't you, buddy?" He stretches out a bit, feeling somewhat refreshed. It feels like somebody washed his face and hair while he was sleeping.
The grey one is also holding a small mirror, apparently broken off from a larger mirror and with the sharp edges filed down to make the edges safe.
The human takes it from the grey trimp and holds it in front of his face to discover that somebody has bound up all his hair into about twenty little pigtails. He touches them with his other hand to confirm. "Eh, whatever." He hands the mirror back and goes back to sleep. [Puchim@s Koamimami.]
9h30m08s: The following run...
"He's not throwing stuff every which way yet," the yellow one whispers to the red one, watching the human snoozing with his pad on his knee.
"You remember that, too?" the red one asks.
"'Remember'?" the yellow one turns to face the red one, "I s'pose that's better than imagining it."
"I remember it, too," the grey one says via a playing card sized note.
"If we're stuck in a time loop," the yellow one sighs, "maybe this cycle will be different."
"Tai..." the grey one admires him for a moment. Then thumbs in the direction of the mountain, "Heh, Shijou!" it laughs.
9h35m58s: Run 8, c9 of that map.
The scientists nap and take notes, and meditate and take notes, and draw stuff. The grey one often storyboards for the other nine because it's the best at drawing stuff. They have come up with a list, and most probably "order" (they're debating whether their ranking means "order" (sequence of things happening over the various loops) or "frequency" (what proportion of previous loops they have happened in). But they've come up with this, from first (or perhaps most often) to most recent (or perhaps least often):
- The ship crashes (they're pretty sure that happens every loop) - The human builds huts - The human teaches some of his trimps to speak and do science - The human builds houses - The human makes maps - The human builds mansions - The human blows up and gets himself killed somewhere around Z17 to Z21, often on a dragimp - The human only recently/occasionally builds hotels - The human only recently/rarely tamed a dragimp - The human only recently/rarely maps the Dimension of Anger
They're all agreed that that they have never finished the Dimension of Anger. What they are not all agreed on is that they've never done this conference to figure out whether they're in a time loop or what that might mean. [See also Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Cause and Effect" ...which was sort of a time loop but they weren't going back in time. It's very interesting, but its meta makes no sense - no one ever went looking for the Bozeman in 80 years? No one who went looking for the Bozeman also got stuck? No one noticed the passage of time outside the little area of space where the not-quite-a-time-loop was happening? Errr... sci-fi writers, don't be half-assed about your time loops, lmao! Be like Harold Ramis- ...what am I saying?? (That would be Groundhog Day, which grafted a time loop into a romcom; there are no other sci-fi elements. But it was a full-blown time loop and not half-assed like "Cause and Effect".)]
9h54m06s: Dropped from Z21c95...
I think it would be a bad idea to bypass that green area, as much as I'd rather not face it. Both his domesticated trimps, which are breeding up a new group of fighters, and the wild trimps he has decided just now not to open the traps for, stare at him and point in that direction. He shoulders a huge Shield V-3 and grabs an Mace IV-2 as well and announces, "We're doing it." Thus equipped, he marches off into the Dimension of Anger.
10h27m53s: Taking Pi4-2; recently had taken Pa4-2...
The group at the front had expired, and the snimp in DoAc95 glares at the advancing colony of trimps, which had halted only because of it. It refuses to counterattack the vulnerable colony and its human, instead snorting and huffing, waiting for the next bunch of 232 fighting trimps to come in range.
Tightniks runs along the line of traps, releasing the recently tamed trimps, singing a song that he doesn't remember the meaning of, that he doesn't remember was crafted by an ethnically Chinese guy out of an African language, and later mastered by two caucasians over the internet before they ever met in person. "Baba yetu yetu uliye, mbinguni yetu yetu amina..." because it just happened to be stuck in his head. [Because the Doylian author decided on a whim to. Christopher Tin got it into Civilization IV and at the time (2010 July), I made the best video for it on YouTube, which got subsequently blown to shreds when Peter Hollens and Malukah re-recorded the song from scratch in their own voices and instruments in 2014, pity with no English translation, the purpose of my video.]
Noticing the last batch of metal he needs coming out of the furnace, he waves the waiting grey scientist to fire up the forge [to use the term properly and not as the game does], for it was time to wrap up the forging dies for the Spetum IV, Mark 2 pike heads.
"Shijou!" the grey one cheers, setting aside a snack that looks like maybe ramen, and starts jumping up and down on the bellows handle.
It takes a while for the human to chip out the tip in the two halves of the forging die, and then polish it, and then heat it up in the forge, and then quench it, inspect it, and put it into service crafting thousands of new pike heads for the fighting trimps.
But only one second passed on the map frame clock (10h27m54s) four cells behind that snimp, in the case being brooded over by this huge, and if it's honest, rather concerned megablimp.
10h35m45: Portal PB, 45 He, 4.247 He/hr, 1891 pop, 22.7s RC with Z20/232, no turkimp.
The last head of the map's boss monster goes limp as one of the fighting trimps' mace heads bounces of it, and the huge thing settles on its tail, resting on the package that seems to be the prize of this map. And there's a popping sound, and then something mechanical.
Is that a scroll compressor? Tightniks looks at the package. The deflating monster's lifting envelope material drapes over everything underneath it. "Red, Shijou!" he snaps and points, "roll up that side of it. Keep this part from sucking down on the extractor nozzle!"
All ten of the scientists jump in, literally, pushing the gas in the bag towards the compressor. Tightniks as well, rolling up the front.
Until he kicks, and nearly trips over, a smaller package that might be the explanation for the reason why the center of the monster's defense seemed to be a little away from the big package he could see. It's in the right place, he realizes. He gets it uncovered and reads stenciled-and-sprayed block letters on it:
"DT TIME PORTAL / THIS SIDE DOWN"
Perhaps the Dimension of Anger is so named because of the rage suddenly rising up in Tightniks' throat. It isn't so much as the free-floating aggression suddenly has an answer, there is definitely a fresh batch of rage and anger as he grips the nearest Mace IV, Mark 3 with both hands and gets it over his shoulder, its target obviously this object, anger at the realization he screams at the top of his lungs, "We are stuck in a mutha FAH-king time loop!!" His swing begins. [Tightniks almost never cusses, unlike Snugniks.]

There's something very democratic about the Maccas run. It's the one restaurant in town that has had almost everyone as a customer at one time or another.
And, perhaps more than any other in town, the Maccas on the corner of King and Steel streets in Newcastle takes all sorts and has seen - for better or worse - the bones and viscera of the city.
The water lapped at the door the morning the Pasha Bulker ran aground on Nobbys in 2007. Ann Bower had been asked to go and work at the Broadmeadow restaurant that morning. She had slept through the storm overnight but remembers getting to work at 4am for a truck delivery and turning on the TV in the break room.
"I woke up in the morning and heard all the commotion on the radio," she said. "We turned on the TV, and we were gobsmacked - we just thought 'bloody hell' - it had never happened before."
She was working at the Charlestown Maccas in 1989 when the earthquake shook the city to its core. She was in Charlestown Square with her husband and god-children when all the lights suddenly went down.
"My husband and I had gotten married the year before," she said. "All of a sudden, the lights went all black ... we thought it was a bomb scare or something like that - we had no idea what it was."
Ms Bower has spent the last 42 years in the Maccas uniform, first at Charlestown in 1982, then Broadmeadow before she finally came over to King Street in 2008. She's seen 28 managers come and go, has helped kids in their first jobs after school, and has made more cups of coffee than it's possible to count.
(How many a day? Who knows - Ann doesn't drink coffee. She prefers English Breakfast).
She knows her regulars, has made life-long friends on the job, and has been working under the golden arches for some of Newcastle's most formative moments. She remembers when Maccas had counter service and McCafe was a cafe in the front of the store (she remembers the day she and a colleague decided to trial this new idea of making the coffee on the barista for the drive-through customers - 'just to see how it went' - it went off).
She remembers the night Supercars champion Scott McLaughlin came in after winning the Newcastle 500 in 2019. McLaughlin famously described that night as a "self-inflicted" celebration during that dusty Monday morning press conference.
"They came in and were drinking out of the cup," Ann remembers. "The store manager was on that night and (McLaughlin) asked for nuggets. We filled the cup up - that was one of the wildest things."
Ann was 17, just out of school, and wondering which way her career would go when she started at the Broadmeadow restaurant. In those days, the training at Maccas was infamously rigorous (ask anyone who hires in hospitality, and they will tell you a Maccas listing on a resume is a quick way to find a new employee), but more importantly, it was casual work that suited Ann's first love - her commitment to her horses in pony club and showjumping.
Marriage and children followed. Ann remembers returning to work when her daughter was three weeks old. Her husband was working a seven-day roster then.
"He would go to work, and I'd be coming home. We'd pass the baby over," she said. "It was hard, but we did it. We managed."
That's how Ann approaches a lot of things - she calls it her "old school" approach. Her day starts sometime just after midnight. She is in the car by about 1.10am to get to work by 2am. She mops the floors, rotates the stock and prepares for any deliveries, and by 4am she's working the coffee machines, then it's "go, go, go".
"Everybody says I'm mad, but I'm old school," she said, "If you start at 2am, by 6am I've done half my day."
When it's break time, she sits down with her cup of tea, maybe a crumpet she had brought from home, and might add some salad or, in the morning, some bacon. There have been a few more colourful custom orders, of course: chips and ice cream, a few who liked a sundae cup full of pickles, and another lady who liked her toasted sandwich with dipping mustard on the side.
As the camera shutter rattled off for the photos, one of the workers cleaning the windows in the restaurant stopped and smiled.
"It's Ann today," he said. "Lady Ann tomorrow."
She brushes off the joke but says she wouldn't trade the job she's had for over four decades. "You just do it," she said, "Ride the wave - you ride the wave up and down, and then you go again."

The master of ceremonies glanced at the paper in his hand, and a glimpse of confusion showed on his face.
Something was wrong.
“And the third and last team representing Farcrest. Lowell’s Orphanage!”
Elincia clung to my arm, fear and impotence reflected in her expression. We were supposed to be called Rosebud Fencing Academy during the tournament. I clenched my jaw and glanced across the pavilion, giving [Awareness] free rein. Lord Osgiria gave me a mocking look.
I cursed. Among the nobility, everything was appearances. The fact that Farcrest had to resort to a poor orphanage for representation spoke badly about the state of affairs in the territory. The nobles around us exchanged funny looks.
“Keep your heads up. That’s our call,” I said, loud enough for the whole pavilion to hear us. If nobles thought this would weigh upon our shoulders, they were wrong.
Ilya took position by my right as the team captain, and we entered the crescent-shaped arena. The cheering died. Our magnificent uniforms didn’t fool the crowd anymore. I reached the Marquis's side and saluted the VIP box. Only after Prince Adrien started applauding did the rest of the nobles acknowledge our presence.
The commoners in the stands hesitated to cheer for us. This wasn’t a gentle world. They didn’t care about the kid’s feelings. I glanced over my shoulder. Wolf was unfazed, and Zaon moved his lips, repeating, ‘Nervous is good’ repeatedly. Firana, on the other hand, was furious.
“Tough crowd, uh?” I muttered.
“It’s only expected. Orphans don’t get good classes. There is no reason to cheer for us,” Ilya replied with a grin. “Yet.”
Did she look so mature back at the carriage?
The crowd’s attention lingered on us for an instant before the next team entered the arena. To my surprise, a single team represented the royal family: a group of cadets from the Imperial Academy. Five young cadets dressed in plain black, guided by Holst, entered the arena. The crowd came back to life. Considering the opulence of the other teams, the uniforms of the Imperial Academy cadets were disappointing. Even my group was better suited to the occasion.
Holst stood by my left, saluting the stands with a dull gesture.
“Robert Clarke, good to see you still among the living,” he greeted me with a bored tone.
His words, however, sent a shiver down my spine. Did he know assassins had tried to kill me a few days before? Captain Kiln had sworn to keep it a secret. The coincidences piled up. Holst knew about the attack and asked Lyra Jorn’s help with the library when Luzian Abei had a small army of Scholars and Scribes at his disposal. I couldn’t help but think Holst was still in contact with the culprit.
“Preceptor Holst,” I coldly greeted, my brain too busy to formulate a more wordy sentence.
“I didn’t expect to meet my former students,” he added, looking past me at Ilya and the kids. “Certainly not in these circumstances.”
I swallowed my anger. This was a golden opportunity for the orphanage. Watching the skill of the imperial cadets could help me understand why Sir Janus had been the only commoner in Farcrest to assist the Imperial Academy. Even if we lost the tournament, we could improve our chances of getting them accepted into the Imperial Academy, putting them in the same echelon as nobles.
“Do you trust the ability of your current students to win the tournament?” I asked, examining the cadet’s faces. Three humans, a half-elf, and a harpy. They didn’t seem thrilled to be part of the tournament.
Holst laughed.
“These idiots aren’t my students. These five failed their first year. If they don’t win the tournament, they will be kicked out of the Academy,” he replied, shrugging. “For failures like them, I’d say they are the favorites to win the tournament.”
A glance at the Imperial Academy team revealed their strong shoulders and steady feet. Despite the lack of fashion, they looked like trained warriors instead of pampered noble kids. Their faces had lost the roundness of childhood, and their calm demeanor and sharp eyes revealed an intense training regime. I hoped not to bump into them until the later rounds of the tournament.
Our conversation was cut short because the Osgirian teams entered the arena. First, Lord Osgiria, then Lord Nara, and finally, a man dressed as a knight, followed by a group of kids in mismatched uniforms—each one with the colors of their respective houses. Lord Osgiria stood by Holst's side and greeted the VIP box.
If Captain Kiln were right, our team would fight Lord Nara in the first round. I expected the man to be a merchant with a comically large belly. Instead, he looked like a cunning gray fox. I had to remind myself that buying a way into nobility required a skillful negotiator.
“Three teams, Lord Osgiria? You don’t seem too confident in your chances,” Holst casually said.
The Imperial Academy had to be a powerhouse within the kingdom because Lord Osgiria swallowed any snarky remark.
Lord Herran, a tall and muscular redhead dressed in full warrior attire, entered next. I remembered him from the feast—boisterous, talkative, determined. The black mana-repelling axe hung from his belt, causing my stomach to feel sick if I looked for too long. House Herran only had two teams, one led by Lord Herran himself and the other by a man who could be his twin. Only half of the team members were human; the other half were different flavors of beast folk.
More than half of the kids had bright red hair like their lord. I wondered if red hair was a dominant gene in the Herran Dukedom because the kids looked healthy. There was not a trace of the infamous Habsburg chin. They were tall and robust like their lord.
I tried to glance at the axe’s runes, but Lord Herran was too far away.
“That’s lord Herran and his army of copperhead bastards,” Holst pointed out, laughing at his joke.
I doubted that having a dozen children the same age was normal, even more so for a noble, considering how difficult succession could be. Lord Herran must’ve loved to spread his genes.
“It’s okay for him to present his… illegitimate kids in an official event like this?” I asked.
“Do you like gossip, Robert Clarke?” Holst raised an eyebrow.
“I like to be informed,” I replied.
Holst seemed satisfied with my answer.
“Lord Herran is one of the few Combat Prestige Classes in the kingdom. He has the [Conqueror] Class,” Holst replied. “It’s only natural that he can do whatever he wants. Not even the king has enough power over Lord Herran to stop his… reproductive impulses.”
I nodded. The relationship between the royal house and the great three dukedoms was more complex than I initially thought. According to the stories, Combat Prestige Classes were, in essence, one-man armies that could create whole countries around their power. I wondered what kind of monsters the royal army found in the Deep Farlands to be obliged to retreat.
After Lord Herra, Lord Gairon entered the arena. The Gairon House was arguably the second most powerful family after the royal house, and their uniforms reflected their status. The blue was rich and deep, and the gold shone under the winter sun, seemingly casting the few clouds away. The crowd yelled and cheered. It wasn’t surprising. Lord Gairon was a tall, tanned man with hair the color of ripe wheat—the perfect poster boy and leader of the anti-war faction.
“He has to go down if we want the royal faction to have a chance,” Holst said.
It suddenly hit me. Holst and I technically supported the same faction.
“Lord Gairon is also a Prestige Class?” I asked.
“A [Sacred Knight], yes. Rumor says he reached the mythic level sixty,” Holst replied. “Let’s hope their teams are more… farming inclined.”
The crowd became more tame after the three big houses made their entrance. Lord Vedras received less than half of House Gairon’s support, probably because of the tax disputes between Farcrest and the Vedras dukedom. He had brought three teams.
Duke Jorn’s presence almost caused the arena to become completely silent—Holst told me he was also a high-level Prestige Class, a Shadow Stalker.
“That sounds dangerous,” I pointed out.
“Sellen Jorn is one of the most dangerous men in the kingdom. His mere existence was enough for the king to create a whole new duchy,” Holst said. “Take an Assassin and a Shadow Fencer, mix them, double their powers, and then double them again. That’s a Shadow Stalker in a nutshell.”
I tried to imagine it. The Assassin who attacked the orphanage would have had a hard time with any class without a skill like my mana blades. I had been lucky to have a favorable matchup against him; otherwise, I might have been dead. His capacity to disable my movement was scarily effective. A man with the skills of an Assassin and a Shadow Fencer had dangerous implications.
“Prince Adrien wanted Sellen Jorn as his Master of Assassins, but he didn’t want to leave his people in the north,” Holst said. “Walls, doors, bars, locks, nothing can stop a Shadow Stalker. Only the woven barrier of several high-level Fortifiers can stop him. Or so it’s said.”
Gears turned inside my skull. I wondered if Duke Jorn was involved in the disappearance of the evidence of Raudhan’s poisoning. He certainly had the skill to move unnoticed through the Great Hall. Stealing a box with shards of glass would be a walk in the park for him.
The rest of the teams passed in a blur as my mind reviewed the party's events. Sellen Jorn was undoubtedly suspicious. His lack of presence was as unnerving as it was useful for an infiltration mission. Could he be involved in Raudhan’s poisoning? Lord Vedras had denied the existence of any co-conspirators, and we were almost entirely sure that Raudhan hadn’t been poisoned by Ashroot.
Duke Jorn's political positioning was hard to determine. The northern dukedoms were poor, and just like Farcrest, they served as a bulwark against the Monster Surges. Four families controlled most of the kingdom’s economy and politics. House Gairon, House Herran, House Osgiria, and the Royal Family. The northern dukedoms didn’t benefit from the current trade routes and wouldn’t directly benefit from a new trade route into the Kingdom of Tagabiria.
However, they would benefit from a closer relationship with the royal family.
Duke Jorn had no reason to poison Captain Kiln.
Ilya tugged the sleeve of my jacket, bringing me back to the present. The master of ceremonies was finishing a long speech about the legacy of Stephaniss of Farcrest, the previous lord of the city and the Marquis's grandfather. Even the Marquis seemed bored.
“Prince Adrien will draw the matches for the first round!” The master of ceremonies announced.
Prince Adrien came forward, and an assistant brought a glass bowl filled with small wooden rods. He put his hand in the bowl, picked one randomly, and passed it to his companion. The woman dressed in purple read it out loud, her voice magically amplified. Her pleasant contralto voice made me think she was a singer.
“House Nara versus…” she received the second wooden rod. “Lowell’s Orphanage!”
Just like Captain Kiln had warned me.
I didn’t expect us to be the opening fight. The other teams returned to the pavilion, and a group of Scribes carried the System Shrine Shard embedded in its copper nest to the center of the arena. I assumed it was there to ensure all participants met the requirements for the tournament.
“Let’s go, team,” I said.
We formed next to the Shrine Shard and in front of Lord Nara’s team. The master of ceremonies activated the blue orb, and the kids' names, classes, and levels appeared before us. Luckily, Lord Nara and I were exempt from the crystal ability. Being outed as a Runeweaver wasn’t part of my plans.
Belya Nara, Geomancer Lv.3
Arel Nara, Warrior Lv.5
Lino, Soldier Lv.9
Jan, Archer Lv.3
Aiwin, Courier Lv.7
Firana Aias, Wind Fencer Lv.1
Ilya, Hunter Lv.2
Zaon, Classless Lv.1
Wolf, Classless Lv.1
The System prompts might have been big enough for the crowd to read because a murmur rose from the stands. I didn’t need [Awareness] to understand the commotion. Half of my team was classless in a world where Classes were everything. Lord Nara also seemed to notice the discrepancy between our teams.
“I’m feeling generous today, Mister Caretaker. I will gladly accept your surrender and spare you the embarrassment if you apologize for wasting our time,” Lord Nara said with a mellow, totally fake voice. “You can save the kids the shame of losing in front of their countrymen.”
The master of ceremonies looked at me.
“What do you think, Ilya?” I asked.
“The team is ready, Mister Clarke. We fight,” she replied without any hint of doubt.
Despite Lord Nara’s clever expression, he was underestimating us. I couldn’t blame him. He had lived all his life in a world where value was determined by class and level. Developing an eye for people wasn’t as helpful as on Earth, where it could mean the difference between life and death.
“We fight,” I said.
“Don’t say I didn’t extend the courtesy of an honorable withdrawal,” Lord Nara grinned, his fox-like eyes turned into thin lines.
The master of ceremonies nodded.
“The Rules are simple. The team that loses the coin toss has to choose its first fighter, and then the winning team chooses its opponent. Then, the roles change. Every team has two picks and two counter picks, for a total of four fighters,” the master of ceremonies explained, pulling a gold coin from the pocket.
I nodded. There was a level of strategy involved in the pairing phase. I could pair Firana against their weakest member to ensure a vast point difference. Or I could choose Zaon to keep things equalized. If I were Lord Nara, I would leave the Lv.7 Courier outside the selection. As fast as they were, they weren’t a combatant Class, but on the other hand, even non-combatants could develop useful masteries.
Zaon had a good matchup against the Soldier and the Warrior, as their combat skills were on the ‘basic’ side of the spectrum. However, the Archer, the Geomancer, and the Courier could present a problem to him. Wolf also had a bad matchup against the Archer and the Geomancer because he relied on solid and static positioning to use his muscles. Ilya and Firana had good matchups against the enemy team, but the enemy Geomancer worried me the most. She wasn’t just an Advanced Class, but a relative of Lord Nara.
“Here goes the coin,” the master of ceremonies said. He threw it high and caught it mid-flight.
Lord Nara kindly offered me the call.
“Heads,” I replied with a grin.
“Heads,” the master of ceremonies said, revealing the coin.
[Awareness] didn’t disappoint, but I made a mental note to keep it hidden from Ilya. She wouldn’t be on board with blatant cheating, even if we had the disadvantage. As cunning as Ilya was, strategy and cheats were completely different.
Lord Nara huffed. “Lino, you go first.”
The Soldier kid stepped forward. He was tall, probably a year older than my kids, but [Awareness] told me he was nervous. Soldier Class was painfully close to no class at all.
“Zaon, you go first. Is that okay with you?” I said, hoping the combination of Light-Footed and Lv.2 Longsword Mastery would match a Lv.9 Soldier with a couple of skills under his sleeve.
Zaon nodded.
It was my turn to choose and Lord Nara’s turn to counter-pick. “Ilya, you go second,” I said.
Ilya came forward, prompting a laugh from the rival Fighter.
“Do you want to fight the gnome, Arel?” Lord Nara asked.
“Yes, my lord. I’m confident I can get a ten-point lead over a Gnome Hunter,” Arel Nara replied.
A vein popped on Ilya’s forehead.
“Good. I chose my cousin Arel Nara for the second fight,” Lord Nara said.
Then, Lord Nara selected the Archer boy for the third fight, which put me in a tough spot. The Archer and the Geomancer were hard matchups for Wolf, and I lacked a fifth or sixth member to play around it. Nonetheless, the Archers weren’t known for their vast arsenal of skills.
“Wolf, you go against him,” I said.
Wolf nodded.
“Which leaves us with the last pair,” Lord Nara said with a mocking smile.
“Firana, you go last,” I said.
“Belya, my daughter, will be my last pick,” Lord Nara replied.
The dueling pairs were ready.
“So be it. The tournament's first match will be between Lino the Soldier and Zaon the Elf,” the master of ceremonies said, his voice suddenly amplified again as the Scribes took the System Shrine orb away. “Contestants, please go get your equipment. May the System bless you all.”
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Last night, someone on here made a post asking us what Dropouts opinion are we would defend 1M vs. one. My answer was that no matter how great the podcast is now, nothing will top the dynamic of the original trio. That discussion gave me an idea.
For some who may be new to Dropouts, I figured I would take a dive into “the lore” (as the kids say these days) to help explain some nostalgic pieces of the podcast you may or may not been here for. The best way to do that is talk about original running gags. Some of these are more known than others, some you may have forgot about, and some you may not remember.
But as someone who has watched from the very beginning, here are my top 6 Dropouts running gags of all time.
#6 - Indiana’s “fake” accent
This gag was fueled by social media comments that always wondered about the inconsistency of Indiana’s Australian accent. But it eventually became one of the more iconic jokes of the podcast. It seems stupid but for whatever reason, we always thought it was pretty funny when Indiana was called out her accent dropping out or coming back. With Zach constantly mimicking her sometimes-thick Australian accent whenever there’s a noticeable difference in annunciation. It was quite simple but genius. Turning a common misconception into a deadpan gag that still leaves people wondering to this day. Is Indiana from Australia? Yes. Does her accent come and go making it very confusing for a majority of viewers? Also, yes.
#5 - Swag-daddies
Who remembers this VERY old one? This gag was part of what each of the trio would call their individual teams/fanbases. Swag-daddies was the original name for team Zach in the very beginning. No one really knew what it meant, why it worked, or where it came from. But it stuck for a while and somehow perfectly displayed the embodiment of Zach’s presence. Memeable, out of pocket, and backhandedly crass. If I had to guess, I would say it’s kind of an ironic-undertone to mock the “TikTok fuckboy” population that was pretty relevant at the time. Although Zach’s online persona can be very polarizing on the internet, the OG fans would jokingly justify his antics as “just being a swag-daddy.” A much simpler time when Zach’s verbal antics were publicly seen as satire and nothing else.
#4 - Team Whole Milk
Swag-daddies was Team Zach, but this team name was by far the best. Team Whole Milk was the original name for team Jared in the beginning. In early episodes, Jared would open up about struggles with his weight as a kid. Which Jared would refer to this chapter of his life as ‘F.J.’ or ‘Fat Jared’. He shortly after revealed that as a kid that he would drink multiple glasses of whole milk every single day, believing it was healthy. For those who don’t know, it’s exact opposite. Either way, team Whole Milk was born. Representing Jared fairly well. The happy-go-lucky underdog with a wholesome and positive energy.
#3 - The Ketchup Bottle
This one is a bit controversial because of the behind-the-camera details we know now, but it’s still an iconic part of the podcast that needs to be mentioned. For the new fans of the podcast, next time you’re watching, make sure to look for the Ketchup and Mustard bottles that are now catty-cornered in between Zach and Tara these days. The history of those two inanimate objects is a lot deeper than you might think. For those of you that don’t know about the first recording set, it was originally supposed be for a show called “Zach’s Diner”. Where Zach would have guests on in a Nickelodeon-metaverse feel of Zach Galifianakis’ “Between Two Ferns”. In original diner set, between to the shiny red booths, were subway-style themed Ketchup and Mustard bottles, that would eventually be part of the Dropouts set. And still are to this day. The originated gag went like this. Whenever Zach pissed off Indiana, she would pick up the Ketchup bottle, and throw it at Zach as hard as she could. Missing him 99.9% of the time. This bit/gag was harmlessly funny at the beginning until we found out there was more darker story to it. I’m just glad Indiana has grown so much since then and really took the time to learn from her actions. It sucks that this iconic gag was a falling out example of the original trio. But it’s still huge part of the Dropouts Podcast lore. And it shouldn’t be forgotten.
#2 - The Beach
What happened at the beach? I’m asking because we still… really… don’t know. In an early episode of Dropouts, the trio had a psychic on as a guest to give them all readings. Whether you believe in it or not, the psychic went on to ask Zach and Indiana: “what’s the deal with the beach?” Prompting Indiana and Jared to freak out and run off the set. The comments blew up after this and the speculation of what this was about caught fire. In the following episode, the trio took notice of the fans reactions. Then challenged them to give the video version of the episode 20K likes and they’ll tell the story of what happened at the beach. To this day, this episode only has around 11K likes on YouTube and the story has still not been told. Even though hints were dropped over later episodes, sidetrack jokes were made, no one on the internet ACTUALLY knows what happened at the beach. And with this episode being 4+ years old, we most likely will never know. As far as we’re concerned, it will be locked away in the Dropouts vault forever.
#1 - The Snickers wrapper story
I’m pretty sure everyone who watches the podcast now or started watching from the beginning knows this one. The Snickers wrapper story is not only the most bizarre story told on the podcast but also a running gag that will probably contest the will of time. The origin of this story goes like this. In an early Valentine’s themed episode, Indiana asks Zach and Jared what was the weirdest thing they ever used as a condom. After Zach’s quick-witted answer of “prayer” (which is btw one of Zach’s funniest jokes on the podcast to this day), Jared revealed that he once used a king sized Snickers wrapper as a condom. It’s pretty safe to say that Jared regrets telling this story as the references to it are still made 200+ episodes later. Just know that as funny or as bizarre this story is, it goes back multiple years of episodes. And I don’t think it will ever get old. Making it an easy decision for the #1 Dropouts running gag of all time.
Now of course, every list has to have some honorable mentions:
HM1 - What’s up B-Words HM2 - Zach hitting on Indiana’s mom HM3 - Jared’s two moms/CB270 HM4 - Zach’s estranged father HM5 - Only Indiana gets censored HM6 - Sad-boy mic
I’d be also happy to explain any of the honorable mentions to anyone who wants the backstory on those as well.
Let me know what you guys think of this top 6. Thanks for reading if you made it this far lol.

Q&A session with LifeByKing on discord.
Will we be able to change the wall height in build mode at the start of early access?

Yes, you will

For jobs uniform, are the same uniforms applied to everyone or can we set different uniforms per job title?

Yes Uniforms can be set for different roles within a job and per title!

Can we have the ability own more than one lot

Not at the start of Early Access. We're definitely exploring 'real estate management' part of the game. We recognize builders are a huge part of the life sim community and tying in building to gameplay is a key goal.

Is there plan for separated sexual and romantic orientation?

At the start of Early Access, we do seperate gender from body type.
We currently do not separate sexual from romantic but this is a good suggestion we will look at during Early Access.

What kinds of social events can we expect on the launch of early access?

Through the in-game mobile phone, you can set up Birthday Parties, Weddings, House Parties, Housewarming, Beach Party, etc. You can also arrange to go on Dates.

Will LBY support terrain editors like Atlas or Gaia for world making?

We will be evaluating even more region-editing during Early Access. That decision will be informed by the roll out of region-to-region travel.

I noticed in a video that lots can overlap to some extent. How far can we push this? Can we make it look like buildings are touching each other?

Yes, we have some experiments internally with terrace housing. Much more on this during Early Access.

Would be possible to have different wall thickness in a build mode?

You can add objects or trim to the walls, but the wall thickness is a great suggestion. Pls add that to ⁠requests

Are there plans for a fleshed-out criminal career?

Potentially. This is under discussion.

Will it be possible to increase multiple skills at once, either through quests or performing activities?

Yes , you can easily script additional skill gains for any interaction.

With painting/drawing skill do will characters be able to draw and paint images that you put in the game(asking if we are able to add png or jpg images in)?

At the start of Early Access, you can have a character take a picture (using the in-game phone camera) and then have them paint that picture using an easel and hang that painting on your wall.
RE: Ability for you to add png / jpg images - this is likely possible via mods.

Can we change the Delivery Van?

Currently, no. But that should be an easy thing for us to add to the modding list during Early Access. Good suggestion, thank you!

Can the character we are currently playing, be invited to a wedding by a character we are currently not playing, so that we can attend as a guest?

Yes! You can even setup a wedding for a story and play each character by right clicking on them any time if you wish. Combine this will entering your own dialog live as you play and you can make an entire unique wedding experience/ story.

In regards to the demographic creator, will it be possible to set a demographic as joinable or not joinable? What I mean is, if you have a demographic of say goths or vampires (or some kind of social group), it would make sense for it to be possible for a character to become part of that demographic through gameplay....on the other hand if the demographic is say a Latino demographic, it wouldn't make sense for characters to be able to join that demographic through gameplay.

It's not currently possible, though that may be possible through "Traits" which you can set as rewards for quests.
This wouldn't change their appearance, but it would be able to add other things like Needs adjustments.

Is the team thinking of adding free placement for tattoos, beauty marks,piercings,etc.?

You can freely move a tattoo placement within their specific "body region" like torso = all over the torso, arms = all over the arms, beauty marks all over the face.

I may have missed some more recent (late 2023-24) declarations, so let me know if I should add anything I've missed.
Stugotz personal record book. Sorry if the links are expired on some things. They're old.
[Time Stamps] Started to use them in late 2019. They may not be exact based on what podcast app or service you use. But they'll be close.
I DIDN'T ASK FOR ANY OF THIS:

FOOTBALL

(1) UCF is the 2017-2018 national champion.
(2) If Kirk Cousins goes to the Jaguars and not the Jets, no championship he wins will count in the personal record book.
Note (2)(a): Still pending sort of since Kirk is with the Vikings now – possible in future he could go to Jags.
(3) Eli manning has 1 ring. He doesnt get one for throwing a ball into David Tyree's face / Tyree getting a football stuck in his helmet.
(4) Carson Wentz has a Super Bowl 52 ring.
Note (4)(a): Foles does not have a Super Bowl 52 ring.
(5) The Raiders defeated the Patriots in their divisional playoff matchup in 2002 (Tuck Rule game), and then would defeat the Rams in Super Bowl 36.
Note (5)(a): In this scenario also, Bill Belichick was also "fired and looking for a job" after the Tuck Rule game and has 0 rings.
(6) If the 2017 Patriots won Super Bowl 52, James Harrison would not have a ring (Patriots lost to Eagles).
(7) Peyton Manning has one ring (Broncos ring does not count).
(8) Peyton Manning must give such ring he lost (above) to Von Miller, who thus has 2 rings.
(9) Aaron Rodgers can have all the rings he wants for keeping all of central Wisconsin employed.
(10) Brian Billick has 0 rings (2000 Ravens Super Bowl) because that defense carried him.
(11) Tony Boselli is a Hall of Famer.
(12) Tarik Cohen is an honorary Jew.
(13) JuJu Smith-Schuster is also an honorary Jew. L'Chaim.
(14) Drew brees has three rings for winning the super bowl for the city of New Orleans.
Note (14)(a): There was discussion on this where the number started at three, went up to five, came down to two, but it ended up at three.
(15) Mike McCarthy has no Super Bowl rings.
Note(15)(a): Dan also has this in his record book, and it is the first entry into the Le Batard Personal Record Book.
Note 15(b): In fact, McCarthy has -3 (Negative three) rings.
(16) Any Super Bowl rings Antonio Brown gets with the Patriots will not count in the Stugotz personal record book (9/9 Weekend Observations National Hour 2).
(17) Ohio State's 76 to 5 victory over Miami (Ohio) on 9/21/19 does not count.
(18) Due to Bill Belichick's 219 wins with Tom Brady, Bill's week 7 2023 victory over the Bills was actually his 81st victory and not his 300th victory.
(19) The 2002-03 Miami Hurricanes actually won the Fiesta Bowl/BCS National Championship game against Ohio State.
(20) If JJ Watt joins the Texans for the 2024 season or later on, none of the Super Bowl rings will count in Stugotz's personal record book

BASKETBALL

Kevin Durant
(1) If Westbrook wins a championship and beats Kevin Durant along the way in the playoffs, Westbrook will have won 2 championship rings.
(2) "STRAP IT ON BOYS, GONNA TAKE YA FOR A RIDE:"
Kevin Durant has 0 rings (Zero rings)
Kevin Durant has -1 rings (Negative 1 rings).
Kevin Durant has -4 rings (Negative 4) (As of 4/11/18)
Note (2)(a): This number is subject to change based on Stugotz altering rings to the "-4" current total. Specifically as seen recently when Stugotz adjusted the number from (i) 0 rings to (ii) -1 rings to (iii) -4 rings.
Note (2)(b): Here is a tweet transcript of the conversation where this was discovered.
Archive link
(3) If Kevin Durant wins an NBA title for the NY Knicks, he will gain 11 rings.
Note (3)(a): As seen above in "(2)," Kevin Durant has -4 rings.
Note (3)(b): [Math] If Durant were to remain at -4 rings, and subsequently win an NBA title for the Knicks, he will have 7 rings total. This was specifically stated (-4 + 11 = 7), and a question about a non-specifically stated Personal Record Book entry is posed below in "Note (3)(c)(i)."
Note (3)(c): If the Golden State Warriors had won a championship playing 3 on 5 with Kevin Durant, Kevin Durant would have 1 ring.
Note (3)(c)(i): [Confusion] I am unsure if "Note(3)(c)" means he would gain +1 ring, and therefore be "up" to -3 rings total. Possibly, Stugotz means if the Golden State Warriors had won a championship 3 on 5 with Durant, Kevin Durant would be at +1 rings total (Positive 1 rings).
(4) Kevin Durant's dagger in Game 3 did not count, because according to Stugotz, none of Durant's stats count. KD's official statline last night was 0/0/0 and the Cavs blew the Warriors out by 40.
(5) Anything Kevin Durant has done with the Warriors so far is not in Stugotz' personal record scroll.
Note (5)(a): Stugotz did not take his feathered pen and write anything in his scroll (King Roy approves).
(6) Westbrook has ALL of KD's rings.
(7) For every time KD says he doesn't give a BLEEP, Stugotz adds 2 "I do give a BLEEPS" in the personal record book.
(8) Per Dan, speaking on Stugotz' behalf, Kevin Durant has no Olympic Gold Medals (9/18/19 National Hour 1 @ 00:07:50).
Michael Jordan
(1) Jordan has 9 rings because:
(a) The Rockets have to give their 2 rings from 1994 and 1995 to Jordan (+2); and
(b) The Bulls would have won the 1999 Finals over the Spurs if Jordan didn't retire (+1; 9 total).
Note (1)(a-b)(i): Put LeBron's rings in a box and put Jordan's rings in a box. Jordan is +6 by the way over LeBron box-minus, despite box-minus sounding like a dumb stat.
(2) Michael Jordan was suspended for 2 years for gambling (Said 4/25/18 Hour 2, 14:30 in podcast).
Note 2(a): HOWEVER, MJ still has 9 rings as see above in (1)(a) and (1)(b).
(3) Any game Michael Jordan played wearing the uniform #45 does not count.
LeBron James
(1) If LeBron James goes to the Golden State Warriors, every Championship he wins will result in a deduction of 2 previously won championships.
(2) The Miami Heat LeBron teams were the GREATEST teams in the history of sports (5/7/18 Local Hour).
(3) The Miami Heat LeBron teams were also the MOST INTERESTING teams in the history of sports.
(4) If, after the 2018 NBA Playoffs:
(a) LeBron does not make it to the finals and the Celtics do; and
(b) The Houston Rockets do not make it to the finals and the Warriors do; and
(c) LeBron goes to the Houston Rockets for the next season, THEN
LeBron is allowed to win rings that count in Stu's personal record book.
Note (4)(a-c)(i): HOWEVER, Harden & Chris Paul - if they remain on the Rockets with LeBron on the team - are not allowed to have any of the rings won with LeBron count in Stu's personal record book.
Note 4(a-c)(ii): To quote the big man Stu (with Dan agreeing of course), "Do it on your own” (Dan agrees here).
(5) If LeBron wins an NBA Championship with the 2018 Lakers roster (as of 7/23/18), then that wins counts for 6 rings.
Note (5)(a): Thus LeBron would have 9 rings.
Kyrie Irving
(1) Kyrie Irving hit one of the biggest shots in NBA Finals History, but was only in that position because of LeBron James. Kyrie Irving, did hit one of the biggest shots in NBA Finals history that won everyone on that team a Ring, except for you (Kyrie). (3/9/20 Hour #3; Google Podcast @ 07:00).
Note (1)(a): Stugotz: "A little revision to the uhhh Stugotz Personal Record Book that I'll come around to writing...or Mike will." I'M WRITING IT YOU IDIOT MORON JACKAL
Misc. Basketball
(1) The Houston Rockets have 0 (Zero) NBA Championship victories.
Note (1)(a): See "Michael Jordan (1)(a)" for reasoning.
Note (1)(a)(i): [Restated Reasoning] Michael Jordan is actually in possession of those 1994 and 1995 Rockets rings because Michael Jordan would have won those championships if he stayed in Chicago.
Note(1)(b): [CONFLICTING HOT TAKE] Stugotz has also said Jordan didn't get the Rockets' rings because he was actually suspended for gambling.
Note (1)(b)(i) NEEDS CLARIFICATION PLEASE. Stugotz keeps going back and forth. In "Michael Jordan Note 1(a)," the opposite of "Miscellaneous Basketball Note (1)(b) is stated because he has gone back and forth on this issue.
(2) Steve Kerr has no rings as a coach. In fact, he has never even coached a game.
(3) Mychal Thompson (Klay's dad) has no rings. (Said on Zach Harper podcast).
(4) Clyde Drexler no rings (Said on Zach Harper podcast).
(5) Giannis Antetekoumpo is pronounced Yani Adababoombo.
(6) As long as James Harden has his beard, he cannot win any championships.
Note (6)(a): If the Rockets win a ring, then the ring goes to the beard.
(7) Lamarcus Aldridge cost the Spurs game 2 of the 2017 Western Conference Semifinals, even though they won.
(8) If the Sixers happen to win a championship, Sam Hinkie gets a ring.
(9) Chris Paul has NOT made a Western Conference Final since he had to join the Rockets to do so.
(10) Michael Jordan winning the NBA Finals in 1999 also means that Tim Duncan only has 4 rings instead of 5 rings.
(11) The Warriors only have 1 ring
Note (11)(a): Durant still has -4.
(12) Boogie Cousins cannot win a NBA Championship and have it count if he does so with the Warriors.
(13) Billy Donovan was the NBA Coach of the Year in 2017 (12/13/17 @ 28:10 Hour 1).
Note (13)(a): The Thunder blowing the 3-1 lead to the Warriors that year had nothing to do with Donovan. It was Durant's fault.
(14) The OKC Thunder actually did win the WCF against the Warriors in 2017 when up 3-1.
Note (14)(a): This does not apply to Durant though.
Note (14)(b): The Thunder also beat whoever they would have played in the Finals. Durant still no ring.
(15) Embiid has his 2023 MVP taken away and given to Jimmy Butler.
(16) Caitlin Clark's NCAA all-time scoring record still belongs to Pistol Pete because unlike Pistol Pete, Caitlin didn't do it in 3 years and she did it with a 3 point line.

BASEBALL

Babe Ruth
(1) Babe Ruth is black.
(2) Babe Ruth never hit a baseball. Not once.
(3) Babe Ruth is the number two black baseball player of all time behind Barry Larkin.
(4) Babe Ruth is NOT a top 20 Baseball player of all time. He's a pitcher.
Note (4)(a): However This is somewhat confusing/interesting because:
(i) Stugotz has said "Babe Ruth is the number two black baseball player of all time behind Barry Larkin; and"
(ii) This MUST mean Stugotz can only have 1 black player in his top 20 Baseball players of all time Barry Larkin; because
(iii) The only way this can work logically is if in the list of greatest players #1 through #20, only Barry Larkin is on the latter top #1 through #20 list. I would like some clarification on if he wishes to change this take/record.
(5) Babe Ruth is also not a top 20 pitcher of all time.
Misc. Baseball
(1) Stugotz has declared that in his personal record book, Baseball no longer allows pitchers to hit (Stated on 05/03/2018 @ 12:38:52 P.M).
Note (1)(a): Excludes Bartolo Colon, and Shohei Ohtani.
Note (1)(b): You are either a pitcher or a hitter. Not both.
(2) If the Dodgers won the 2017 World Series Clayton Kershaw would not have had a ring.
(3) Wade Boggs DOES have a ring because he rode around on a horse with a beer afterward.
(4) Clayton Kershaw did not win an MVP award because the award for pitchers was already given, the CY Young award.
(5) Miami beat LSU in the 1996 College Baseball World Series.
(6) The 1986 NY Mets did not win the World Series against the Boston Red Sox.
Note (6)(a): This "pains" Stugotz.
(7) The Red Sox retroactively winning the 1986 World Series may result in taking a ring away from the Mets.
Note (7)(a): Stugotz has to think about it though, he's not sure yet.
(8) Bryce Harper did not win the 2018 home run derby because he cheated.
(9) Kershaw's Earned Ring Average (ERA) is 0.00.
(10) Mike Minor (Rangers Pitcher) does not have 200 strikeouts in 2019. He's at 199 (National Hour 2, 10 mins 40 seconds in).
Note (10)(a): Chris agrees too. And who really cares (15% on poll do care).
(11) The 2020-2021 Mets, during the Coronavirus outbreak, are 0-3 and Jacob deGrom is somehow 0-1 with a 0.00 ERA and 1 complete game. The deGrominator. (Google Podcast 3/30 Hour #3 @ 19:20)

HOCKEY

(1) Ray Bourque doesn't have a ring.
(2) Alex Ovechkin may or may not have won the Stanley Cup against the Vegas Golden Knights.
Note (2)(a): "I mean he beat an expansion team . . . bunch of players nobody wanted" (We get the sense that Dan agrees).

TENNIS

(1) If anyone wins a major in Female Tennis without Serena Williams playing, it does not count and they have 0 rings.
(2) If Maria Sharapova wins a grand slam in which Serena isnt competing it doesnt count.

GOLF

(1) If Jason Day wins the 2018 Masters, it counts as an American winning (as far as bets are concerned).
(2) Vijay Singh did not play in the 2018 Masters.
(3) Steph Curry did not win the 2023 American Century Celebrity Golf Championship Tournament . Mardy Fish was the real winner.

SOCCER

(1) Lionel Messi is stripped of all his achievements for using HGH. He never played soccer. He is still 5'1". "Fraud."
(2) Soccer is dead.

NCAA DIVISION 1 WOMEN'S LACROSSE

(1) Rachel has more rings than Kevin Durant

MISCELLANEOUS

(1) Aqua?
(2) Rings plus-minus is the only way to measure greatness.
(3) The HBO Andre the Giant film was good, not great, and Stugotz didn’t learn anything.
(4) Benoit Lecomte (guy they interviewed) can not and will not swim from San Francisco to Tokyo in the personal record book because he is most likely taking a dip for a few minutes then coming back on the boat and enjoying some filet mignon by the pool.
Note (4)(a): "Do it without a yacht. And how about ya do it without the little magnetic field around you that keeps sharks away. How bout that. Allows dolphins through though? Anyway.."
(5) Justify (the Horse) only has a double crown.
Note (5)(a): This is the first ever double crown.
(6) Tango and Cash is in the action movie Hall of Fame. and Cliffhanger has the greatest 5 minute intro of any movie of all time.
(7) Maximum Security (a Horse) won the 2019 Kentucky Derby.
(8) Fruit Stripes Gum is NOT a 1st Ballot Hall of Famer in Stu's "Gum Hall of Fame." (08/12/2019 Hour 2 @ 15:25).
Note (8)(a): "It loses it's flavor so quickly"
Note (8)(b): Also, "[...] Bazooka...1st Ballot Hall of Famer." Also, "Big League Chew..1st Ballot."
(9) Chris Cote owns all intellectual property rights to the "Friends" (TV Show) Movie with a misleading preview that eventually has a climax leading to an intense murder mystery. (10/29/19 Hour #2 @ 03:15).
Note (9)(a): "If they make this without crediting Cote, they're stealing it."
(10) That guy killed the pigeon (12/10 Hour 3 @ 08:20).
(11) Billy owns the record for world's longest Plank (2/25, Hour #3; Google Podcast @ 30:55).
Note (11)(a): Possibly in just the Non-Marine edition.
(12) Zach Buchanan won a Pulitzer Prize for his story on the Madison Bumgarner / Mason Saunders rodeo fiasco (2/28/20 Hour #2; Google Podcasts @ 21:35).
(13) Findlay the Golden retriever holds the Stu Gotz Personal Record Book record for most tennis balls held in a mouth at one time by a dog at 6 (2/11/2020)
(14) Ace Davis (The kid who "proved" Tom Brady was cheating with science) and his fathefamily are heroes (4/1 Hour #3; Google Podcast @ 18:50).
(15) Dan did NOT do more push-ups than Domonique Foxworth (Dan did push-ups on a non-linear platform) (4/28/2020 Hour # 1).

SPORTS MEDIA DREAM TEAM™

Sourced from Google Podcast; 05/06/2020, Hour 2 @ 09:00
(Head Coach) Ernie Johnson - "When you look over to the bench, what you need is someone to stand tall, someone who is confident, someone who is competent, someone who has all the credibility -soaked in credibility - when you have the Head Coach of the Sports Media Dream Team."
(1; Point Guard) Mike Greenberg - "Doesn't really want to answer the big questions, but has no problem distributing those questions to other people who are happy to answer them."
(2; Shooting Guard) Stephen A. Smith - "Never met a topic he doesn't like. Short memory, doesn't care, Greeny could throw him anything and Stephen A. is gonna run with it even if he knows nothing about the topic. That is how it works. Stephen A. is the greatest of all time."
(3; Small Forward) Chris Fowler - "A do it all guy. Studio show? Great. Play by Play? Even better. Can do everything."
(4; Small Forward Replacement) Maria Taylor) - "Need Play by Play, need Sideline, need Studio Host - she can do it all"
(5; Power Forward) Dianna Russini - "You need some crazy, some don't mess with us, someone to tear someone's head off in the event that they come after one of us."
(6; Power Forward Replacement) PFT Commenter - "He just comes in and acts crazy, throws his arms and hair around, and give ya 5 to 10 really crazy minutes."
(7; In honor of the Chicago Bulls, Stugotz needed a Wennington, a Purdue) Scott Van Pelt - Dan debated whether or not SVP should be on the Sports Media Dream Team™. That's what he's doing.
(8; Bench Player w/ No Position Specified) Doris Burke
(9) Teased...

I am a daily/long term buyer looking for the following gift cards:
Amazon(US, DE, UK, CA)**, Apple/iTunes, eBay, Gyft, eGifter, Target, Walmart, Best Buy, Home Depot, Lowes, Prepaid Visa/Mastercard**, GameStop, Steam, PSN, Razor Gold, Giant Eagle, Nike, Newegg, Sheetz, Staples, Dollar General, CVS, Starbucks, DoorDash, Uber, Grubhub, and more!
**I am looking for frequent and/or bulk Amazon gift card sellers.
**Prepaids include tremendous, prepaiddigitalsolutions, myprepaidcenter, and many more.
---
The above list is not all inclusive, if you have another gift card you wish to trade, feel free to send me a message.
I am currently NOT buying: Disney, Google Play, Nintendo, Dominos, McDonalds, Burger King, Subway, Texas Roadhouse, Forever21, American Eagle, Victoria's Secret, Chewy, Top Golf, Anything airline/theater related, or any type of subscription gift cards.
---
Most rates are 70-79%, but my rates will fluctuate depending on the retailer, payment method, personal need, and the total amount/denominations. Please do not contact me asking for rates above 80%. I will attempt to beat other offers.
I can pay via Crypto(typically USDT, USDC, BTC, LTC), PayPal, CashApp, and Zelle. I can trade Amazon gift cards for other gift cards.

Warning: I will not message you first. If you were messaged by someone claiming to be me you are in the process of being scammed.

You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.
Desktop Users: Comment on this post and Click here to start a trade App Users, please include the following in your PM (Remember to comment on this post as well):

• Type of card(s) and amount of each.
• What payment method you accept.
• How you acquired the GC and why you're getting rid of it.

Crypto^4, Paypal^1, Apple Pay, Chime, Cashapp, Varo, Venmo, and Western Union
I only have Steam as a substitute for cash payments in gift card trades.

Want ↓	Cash or a Gift Card ↓	Crypto4 ↓
Apple	60%3	NA
Amazon.ca	50%	50%
Amazon.co.uk	50%	50%
Amazon.com	70%	55%
Amazon.de	50%	50%
Amazon.es	50%	50%
Amazon.fr	50%	50%
Amazon.it	50%	50%
Amazon.jp	30%	30%
Arrow Films	65%	60%
Barnes & Noble	50%	50%
Baskin Robbins	60%	60%
Best Buy	25%	25%
BJ's (not BJ's restaurant)3	60%	NA
Bloomingdales	50%	50%
Burger King4	60%	NA
Clothing Shops (Small Boutique)	contact me	contact me
Dell3	60%	NA
Delta gift cards3	65%	NA
Delta Sky Miles3	PM me	NA
Delta Vouchers3	65%	NA
Dicks Sporting Goods 3	PM me	NA
Disney Plus	PM me	PM me
Dunkin Donuts3	60%	NA
eBay	70%	70%
Fandango3	10%	NA
Five Guys3	60%	NA
Gamestop	60%	60%
Gas Station Cards3	PM me	NA
Gyft	70%	70%
Half Price Books	50%	50%
iTunes3	60%	NA
J crew	40%	40%
JCPenney	25%	25%
Jersey Mike Subs3	60%	NA
KFC3	60%	NA
Khols	30%	30%
Macys	35%	35%
Magazines.com	40%	40%
McDonald's 3	60%	NA
Microsoft3	60%	NA
Moe’s Southwestern Grill3	60%	NA
Nintendo Eshop3	70%	NA
Nordstrom	50%	50%
Panera bread3	60%	NA
PSN3	60	NA
PSN Plus 12 month3	NA	NA
Saks Fifth Avenue	50%	50%
Sears	50%	50%
Sephora	50%	50%
Speedway (must be able to use on fuel)3	80%	NA
Staples	50%	50%
Starbucks US only	55%	55%
Steam3	60%	NA
Subway 3	PM me	NA
Taco Bell	60%	NA
Target	50%	50%
Urban Outfitters	50%	50%
Vudu3	50%	NA
Walmart	60%	60%
Wendys3	60%	NA
Xbox (gift cards)3	60%	NA
Other Clothing Stores, Gas Stations, Grocery Stores, Restaurant, & Fast Food gift cards	PM me

¹ When paying via PayPal, I can only send payments via Goods and Services, thus you will be charged a fee. If you'd rather not face this fee there are plenty of alternatives. ² Larger denominated gift cards preferred. ³ PayPal is the only payment option. ⁴ All crypto payments come from Coinbase. Any fees associated with it are built into the price.

What I don’t buy:

• Amazon.au
• Bass Pro Shop
• buffalo wild wing
• California Pizza Kitchen
• Canadian tire
• Cold Stone
• Dairy Queen
• Fanatics
• Giant Foods
• Google Play
• Grub Hub
• Gymshark
• Hilton Honors
• Hot Topic
• Krispy Kreme
• old navy/gap/banana republic
• Patxi's pizza
• PSN Canada or UK
• publix
• Raceway
• Scheels
• Shell Gas Stations
• Spotify
• Starbucks Canada
• Tractor supply
• Xbox Canada or UK
• Xbox live gold

Any fees are built into the price.

Selling

I have:
Up to $1000 in Amazon.com (can be broken up into smaller denominations) and am selling at

• 85%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)
• 90%: LTC

Up to $500 in eBay (can be broken up into smaller denominations) and am selling at

• 90%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)

Up to $500 in Apple.com ($15 and $50 denomination) and am selling at

• 90%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)

Important: before you send your codes please make sure your account is secure (if your password is not uniqe it's best to assume your account has already been compromised. Scams where compromised accounts are used to leverage reputation to scam an unsuspecting user, used to steal codes during the middle of the trade, and steal unused gift cards the victim was saving for later are increasingly commonplace. If you have any concerns as to your account's security, please reset your password now and force logout of all sessions. Thanks

Warning: I will not message you first. If you were messaged by someone claiming to be me you are in the process of being scammed.

You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.
Desktop Users: Comment on this post and Click here to start a trade App Users, please include the following in your PM (Remember to comment on this post as well):

• Type of card(s) and amount of each.
• What payment method you accept.
• How you acquired the GC and why you're getting rid of it.

Crypto^4, Paypal^1, Apple Pay, Chime, Cashapp, Varo, Venmo, and Western Union
I only have Steam as a substitute for cash payments in gift card trades.

Want ↓	Cash or a Gift Card ↓	Crypto4 ↓
Apple	60%3	NA
Amazon.ca	50%	50%
Amazon.co.uk	50%	50%
Amazon.com	70%	55%
Amazon.de	50%	50%
Amazon.es	50%	50%
Amazon.fr	50%	50%
Amazon.it	50%	50%
Amazon.jp	30%	30%
Arrow Films	65%	60%
Barnes & Noble	50%	50%
Baskin Robbins	60%	60%
Best Buy	25%	25%
BJ's (not BJ's restaurant)3	60%	NA
Bloomingdales	50%	50%
Burger King4	60%	NA
Clothing Shops (Small Boutique)	contact me	contact me
Dell3	60%	NA
Delta gift cards3	65%	NA
Delta Sky Miles3	PM me	NA
Delta Vouchers3	65%	NA
Dicks Sporting Goods 3	PM me	NA
Disney Plus	PM me	PM me
Dunkin Donuts3	60%	NA
eBay	70%	70%
Fandango3	10%	NA
Five Guys3	60%	NA
Gamestop	60%	60%
Gas Station Cards3	PM me	NA
Gyft	70%	70%
Half Price Books	50%	50%
iTunes3	60%	NA
J crew	40%	40%
JCPenney	25%	25%
Jersey Mike Subs3	60%	NA
KFC3	60%	NA
Khols	30%	30%
Macys	35%	35%
Magazines.com	40%	40%
McDonald's 3	60%	NA
Microsoft3	60%	NA
Moe’s Southwestern Grill3	60%	NA
Nintendo Eshop3	70%	NA
Nordstrom	50%	50%
Panera bread3	60%	NA
PSN3	60	NA
PSN Plus 12 month3	NA	NA
Saks Fifth Avenue	50%	50%
Sears	50%	50%
Sephora	50%	50%
Speedway (must be able to use on fuel)3	80%	NA
Staples	50%	50%
Starbucks US only	55%	55%
Steam3	60%	NA
Subway 3	PM me	NA
Taco Bell	60%	NA
Target	50%	50%
Urban Outfitters	50%	50%
Vudu3	50%	NA
Walmart	60%	60%
Wendys3	60%	NA
Xbox (gift cards)3	60%	NA
Other Clothing Stores, Gas Stations, Grocery Stores, Restaurant, & Fast Food gift cards	PM me

¹ When paying via PayPal, I can only send payments via Goods and Services, thus you will be charged a fee. If you'd rather not face this fee there are plenty of alternatives. ² Larger denominated gift cards preferred. ³ PayPal is the only payment option. ⁴ All crypto payments come from Coinbase. Any fees associated with it are built into the price.

What I don’t buy:

• Amazon.au
• Bass Pro Shop
• buffalo wild wing
• California Pizza Kitchen
• Canadian tire
• Cold Stone
• Dairy Queen
• Fanatics
• Giant Foods
• Google Play
• Grub Hub
• Gymshark
• Hilton Honors
• Hot Topic
• Krispy Kreme
• old navy/gap/banana republic
• Patxi's pizza
• PSN Canada or UK
• publix
• Raceway
• Scheels
• Shell Gas Stations
• Spotify
• Starbucks Canada
• Tractor supply
• Xbox Canada or UK
• Xbox live gold

Any fees are built into the price.

Selling

I have:
Up to $1000 in Amazon.com (can be broken up into smaller denominations) and am selling at

• 85%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)
• 90%: LTC

Up to $500 in eBay (can be broken up into smaller denominations) and am selling at

• 90%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)

Up to $500 in Apple.com ($15 and $50 denomination) and am selling at

• 90%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)

Important: before you send your codes please make sure your account is secure (if your password is not uniqe it's best to assume your account has already been compromised. Scams where compromised accounts are used to leverage reputation to scam an unsuspecting user, used to steal codes during the middle of the trade, and steal unused gift cards the victim was saving for later are increasingly commonplace. If you have any concerns as to your account's security, please reset your password now and force logout of all sessions. Thanks

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Izzy Goldstein wore #21 for the 1932 Tigers (go back to Day 7); so did Garrett Stubbs for the Phillies starting in 2022 and continuing until …….today, Elliot Maddox for the 1977 Orioles and the Mets from 1978-80, and Dick Conger for the Phillies in 1943, his final season - also the season in which he pitched in 13 games (10 starts), 54.2 Innings, going 2-7 with an ERA of 6.09.
Jason Marquis played in 15 seasons; he wore #51 as a rookie with the Braves in 2000, before switching to #38 for 2001-03, before being traded with Ray King and Adam Wainwright to the Cardinals for JD Drew and El iMarrero (the Cardinals got the better end of that deal). He wore #21 with the Cards from 2004-06, and then with the Cubs (2007-08), Rockies (2009), Nationals (2010-11), D’Backs (2011), Twins (2012) and Padres (2013 - he wore #38 for the Padres in 2012 when John Baker wore it) before wearing #31 for the Reds in his last season, 2015. Mike Milchin wore #21 for the Orioles in 1996 (and #51 for the Twins in the same year). Norm Miller wore #21 for the Astros between 1967 and 1973 (he also wore #54 in 1965 and #34 in 1965-66) and then doubled his number to #42 when he was traded to the Braves in 1973-74.
Steve Stone wore 9 different uniforms in his 11 year career, including #21 for the Orioles in 1979; he also wore #32 for the Orioles that year as well as in 1980-81 (he won the Cy Young award in 1980, the only year he made the All Star team). He started his career wearing #33 for the Giants in 1971 (he also wore #35 that year), and then #29 in 1972. He switched to #32 in 1973 for the White Sox, then #30 when he went north the Cubs (as part of the trade for Ron Santo) for 1974-76, before going back to #32 when he went back south as a free agent for 1977-78.

Izzy Goldstein wore #21 for the 1932 Tigers (go back to Day 7); so did Garrett Stubbs for the Phillies starting in 2022 and continuing until …….today, Elliot Maddox for the 1977 Orioles and the Mets from 1978-80, and Dick Conger for the Phillies in 1943, his final season - also the season in which he pitched in 13 games (10 starts), 54.2 Innings, going 2-7 with an ERA of 6.09.
Jason Marquis played in 15 seasons; he wore #51 as a rookie with the Braves in 2000, before switching to #38 for 2001-03, before being traded with Ray King and Adam Wainwright to the Cardinals for JD Drew and El iMarrero (the Cardinals got the better end of that deal). He wore #21 with the Cards from 2004-06, and then with the Cubs (2007-08), Rockies (2009), Nationals (2010-11), D’Backs (2011), Twins (2012) and Padres (2013 - he wore #38 for the Padres in 2012 when John Baker wore it) before wearing #31 for the Reds in his last season, 2015. Mike Milchin wore #21 for the Orioles in 1996 (and #51 for the Twins in the same year). Norm Miller wore #21 for the Astros between 1967 and 1973 (he also wore #54 in 1965 and #34 in 1965-66) and then doubled his number to #42 when he was traded to the Braves in 1973-74.
Steve Stone wore 9 different uniforms in his 11 year career, including #21 for the Orioles in 1979; he also wore #32 for the Orioles that year as well as in 1980-81 (he won the Cy Young award in 1980, the only year he made the All Star team). He started his career wearing #33 for the Giants in 1971 (he also wore #35 that year), and then #29 in 1972. He switched to #32 in 1973 for the White Sox, then #30 when he went north the Cubs (as part of the trade for Ron Santo) for 1974-76, before going back to #32 when he went back south as a free agent for 1977-78.

Hey Sportsfans — it's time for Week 7 of baseball Power Rankings: These baseball numbers have been forwarded directly from Manfred's office. They are accurate and caanot be questioned.
Every voter has their own style / system and the only voting instructions are these:

"To an extent determined individually, you must take into account how strong a team is right now and likely to be going forward. You must, to some degree, give weight to the events and games of the previous week."

TRANSPARENCY: This link will show you who voted each team where and has added neat statistics!
Check out the Auxilliary Post for added statistics and fun!
If something is a little messed up, feel free to pester me let me know.
Total Votes: 30 of 30. Another Perfect Vote!.

#		Team	Δ	Comment	Record
1		Dodgers	0	The Dodgers started off a mediocre road trip by sweeping the Marlins in dominant fashion, followed by a sleepy series against the padres. My early season prediction of the Dodgers's infield defense being the biggest issue was completely wrong. Mookie looks natural at short, and Muncy has been playing pretty darn well at 3rd. We will be using our prayers this week to pray that Shohei is going to be okay	27-15
2		Phillies	+1	It's tough to end the week on a walkoff loss to the Marlins and feel good, but it's hard to complain about a 4-2 stretch. Nick Castellanos might finally not be the worst hitter in baseball after he says he started treating hitting like glorified batting practice again. Ranger Suarez has arguably been the best pitcher in baseball, pitching to a 1.5 ERA and an astounding 0.72 WHIP with team wins in each of his starts. Somehow this performance isn't even all that surprising for a guy with a 4.18 ERA last year. He was this dominant in a half season between the bullpen and rotation in 2021 and has a career 1.62 ERA in 7 postseason starts and 2 relief appearances. This week: another weird scheduling quirk as they play a 4 game set against the Mets with the first two at Citi Field and the next two in Philly before the Nats come to town for a 3 game series.	28-13
3		Orioles	-1	I was hoping the Orioles would go 5-1 this week but they went 4-2. Still nothing to be super upset about. I think the main concerns right now are Mullins is hitting under .200 and Santander still not hitting the way he can. Yesterdays game was just not great so hopefully it was just a one-off and can be flushed and they move on. Blue Jays and Mariners are in town this week so it doesn't get any easier.	26-13
4		Yankees	0	Our pitching is so good right now. Anyone in the rotation could pull a Glasnow and write their number on a ball for a cute girl, and she’d call. Doesn’t even have to have their name. She doesn’t care if its’s Nestor Cortes or Clarke Schmidt. Yankees starter? She’s calling, and she’s shaving her legs beforehand. If we signed Pete Davidson for some spot starts there'd be a second baby boom. By the way, my nickname for Clarke Schmidt used to be Farte Schidt. He has very much made me eat my aforementioned schidt this year, and officially has the second-best starter ERA behind Luis Gil, as we all predicted. In other news, Judge and Stanton both have their pop at once, Soto is doing what Soto does, and Verdugo is playing sneaky good right now. We also officially took the season series against Houston 6-1, which feels GREAT. If only they were a playoff team so we could finally bounce them this year. Oh well. A Yankees-A’s ALCS it is.	27-15
5		Braves	0	The walk off loss hurts, but can't be too upset with a 4-1 bounce back week! Big time perfromance from our SP. Giving up only 4 ERs in 23.2 IP (1.52 ERA) in these 5 games. Our bats are not what we have come to expect, but that can't last much longer. Signs of life from Acuña and Olson and continued performance by Ozuna. If by the end of May we don't see massive improvement to our offensive numbers, I will be surprised. Until then, buckle up because the offense is coming.	24-13
6		Twins	+3	Another great week, Sausage be praised! We took series from the Blue Jays and Mariners with both blowouts and well-pitched close games. I think it's safe to say that the team has found its groove, and this is how the Twins can be expected to perform moving forward. The only blip has been that the bullpen is having a slight slump, but that will even out shortly.	24-16
7		Brewers	0	Paul Who? The only starting pitcher debut I care about is BOBBY GAS who threw 6 innings of 2 hit, 0 run ball in a win against the Cardinals. He fills a much needed spot in the Brewers rotation, and likely would have been up sooner if not for an injury of his own. Rhys Hoskins also had a monster week, racking up 3 HR and 9 RBI in hist last 5 games. I had my doubts this young lineup and shaky rotation actually could be a contending ballclub over 162 games, but I'm not going to argue with the results.	24-16
8		Guardians	-2	Another bad week. The Guardians had rough series against the Tigers and the mighty World Champion favorite White Sox. This coming week, we play the reigning World Series champs and the hottest team in our division. I'm not worried. Not at all.	25-16
9		Cubs	-1	The Cubs went 3-3 this week in what felt like a complete microcosm of their season. While they did get Justin Steele, Cody Bellinger, and Seiya Suzuki back from injury, they lost Dansby Swanson and Yency Almonte, who had been a rare reliable bullpen arm. Christopher Morel also had a scare after tweaking his knee sliding into sexond, but fortunately is alright. Otherwise, the offense remained inconsistent, the starting pitching was outstanding, and the bullpen was abysmal at worst and heart-stopping at best. While he didn't continue his usual dominance against them, Ian Happ extended his streak of 62 consecutive games reaching base vs the Pirates. This week, the Cubs travel to Atlanta to take on the Braves before hosting the Pirates for 4 games.	24-17
10		Royals	+2	The Royals have a chance to be in first place by themselves this late in the season for the first time since 2016. It feels like a lifetime ago. Yes, it is just seven weeks into the season but hopes are usually gone by this point. Maybe this year can be different.	25-17
11		Mariners	0	Apologies for any typos, doing this from mobile is miserable. Not the best week, but given the pitching hiccups I can't complain too much. Woo is back (and hopefully staying back, him getting pulled was a bit of a scare.) The next few series are another gauntlet, and if the M's can make it through playing relatively well they'll be in a good positon to take advantage of their schedule for the end of the month and early June. Up next: 3 vs. Roy L's, 3 @ Oreo L's	22-19
12		Padres	+2	The San Diego Madres beat LA on both día de las Madres (friday) as well as Mother’s Day, wherein both we got great pitching performances from King and Darvish respectively. Arraez capped off the walk-off win on friday, and it was nice to see Bogaerts get one deep on Sunday. So far in ‘24 the Padres haven’t lost a series to the Dodgers, whether in LA, San Diego, or South Korea. It’s a bit cathartic, though I do wish there was less blue in the stands this weekend though. Really interested to see how they come out against the rocks, as SD was only able to split the 4-game series earlier in the season. This one lines up between the series’s vs LA and ATL, it could be a bit of a trap, hoping the Pads continue their series winning streak (which is now at 4) and just take care of business.	22-21
13		Rangers	-3	The baseball gods are unforgiving. Sacrfices have to be made and will continue to be made to the baseball gods. Oh dear baseball gods please forgive our hubris for thinking the baseball suffering was over. It was not but also, flags fly forever.	22-20
14		Red Sox	-1	The Sox have not been having a good May. Losing Casas has been brutal, and the expected bump in performance from Vaughn Grissom at 2nd hasn't happened (well, at least not yet). As a team we have a decent looking triple slash, but situationally they've been horrible. In high leverage PAs, the Sox are hitting .195/.264/.272 in 247 PAs. We have loads of talent, but there's always some issue whether it be defense or clutch hitting that holds us back from being truly competitive.	21-19
15		Tigers	0	The City Connects... phew phew phew. Looks like we got tire tracks laid on us after a truck ran us over. No thanks. I hate it... and that's not even mentioning the dumb hat. In terms of actual baseball, though, Tarik Skubal is still Skuballing. This week: 3 vs. MIA, 3 at ARI.	20-20
16		Rays	0	It was a .500 week for the Rays, and the good news is things are looking better, but only like maybe? Randy and Yandy seem to be coming back a bit; glancing at the lineup's batting avg in the game threads isn't painful anymore. Ben Rortvedt is over .300 in the catcher position which is unheard of for this team. The bad news is pitching is only bouncing back from abysmal to below average. A week against division opponents on the road will test if that improvement is here to stay or if it was just a new uniform bounce.	20-21
17		D-Backs	+3	The Diamondbacks have been winning more games of late but are still underperforming their Pythagorean record and are 3 games below .500 despite a +17 run differential. Reinforcements should be coming back from injury soon which should help.	19-22
18		Mets	-1	I prewrote a big and extremely negative blurb about the Mets getting swept by the Braves. That did not happen, Brandon Nimmo hit a walk off homer on Sunday Night Baseball immediately as I was about to close my computer. Never been so glad to be wrong. Bring on the Phillies and Marlins.	19-20
19		Nationals	0	Two large accomplishments for the Nats in the last week - 1) For the first time since 2021, the Nats climbed over .500 with an opening win over the Orioles in a 2-game series. 2) Patrick Corbin recorded a win this week vs the Red Sox (his first since 9/11/23 vs the Pirates). The Nationals quickly slid back under .500 losing the 2nd game vs the Orioles and then 2 of 3 against the Red Sox. James Wood is hitting everything in AAA (over 1.000 OPS) so there are lots of calls for HRCHU.	19-20
20		Blue Jays	+1	Very up and down week for the Cyrulean Winged Creatures of Ontario. A 1-1 split with Philly and a 1-2 tilt vs Minnesota extended a too-long stretch of not winning series. Turns out, the combination of bad offense and a bad bullpen is bad. But there have been some glimpses of hope, at least. Alek Manoah threw a gem on Sunday, giving up 0 ER and 1 BB over 7 IP with 6 Ks. Also, Vladdy is hot as shit right now; since the last week of March, he's been hitting over .400 with a nearly 1.000 OPS. Still, the Jays in general continue to underperform and hover just below .500. Mid-May is not the time to freak out and this team is in too deep to consider a full tear-down even in a lost year, but things will be getting worrisome if they can't pull out of this middling stretch that has defined the first quarter of the season.	18-22
21		Giants	+4	Believe it or not, the Giants had a winning week. They continue their flirtation with being a decent team. However, we would like the world to know about several issues	19-23
22		Athletics	0	Happy Mother's Day, say hi or I'll drop by. Rough week, our bullpen had some awful games esp w/ Kotsay's choices. Will possibly fall below the Astros this week as we play them along with the Royals, and unlike last year I don't think we're a better team than KC. Toro and Harris have been playing well with Soderstrom getting some reps in (A+ defense from them), but Gelof will likely return and change something there.	19-23
23		Reds	-5	What is the meaning of suffering? This question has stumped philosophers throughout the ages, but nobody has come up with an answer. On the opposite side of this, we have also been in search of evidence of the divine, and we’ve searched for it in things like the miracle of our world. But again, we haven’t found anything. What if we’re looking in the wrong place? What if suffering is the greatest proof of a divine presence? Suffering is an art. Perhaps the greatest art ever devised. Devised by who or what though? Some greater power looming over us all? Some great cosmic being who looks upon us the same way as we do ants? Some primordial consciousness created trillions of years ago in the Big Bang that’s been merely existing all this time and only gets enjoyment out of the suffering of others? How do we figure this out? Who do we ask? I have a suggestion, we can ask baseball fans. We are connoisseurs of suffering. Ask an A’s fan about the meaning of suffering and you’ll get your answer just by looking into their eyes. Ask a Rockies fan, or a White Sox fan, or even a long dead Expos fan. It’s weeks like this that make me ask why do people even like baseball. Why do I even like baseball? Well, I remember my grandfather, since I live in the midwest we always called him Papaw, and he was the biggest baseball nut I know. He got me into baseball at a young age, and I remember one day asking why he loved it so much. When I say he was a baseball nut, I mean he was a season ticket holder, bought all the merchandise, had books about baseball and biographies written by baseball players, he had all of it. He could tell you everything about the sport with ease. So I asked him why did he love baseball so much because at that time I found it boring, and you know I still to this day remember his response. He told me baseball is 3 hours of nothing happening, but when something did happen, it was the most beautiful sport god ever created. I loved that man. Anyway this is all a long way to say the Reds suck ass right now.	17-23
24		Astros	0	Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there, especially yours. I'll visit her later, don't worry. The Astros continue to take 1 step forward and 3 steps back. Kyle Tucker is the man and we should extend him immediately. Our pitching is still mostly trash and no one deserves an extension.	15-25
25		Pirates	-2	Paul Skenes made his highly-anticipated debut on Saturday, and it was one of two games the Pirates won last week. And they only won that game after first blowing a 6-1 lead thanks to 6 (SIX!) walks with the bases loaded. At one point. Kyle Nicolas threw 12 straight balls with the bases loaded. The bullpen was so depleted that Nicolas had to pitch the next day after Aroldis Chapman gave up 2 runs and 2 walks in the 10th inning, only for Nicolas to give up another run on a wild pitch. The Pirates then hit a 2-run homer in the bottom of the inning and lost 5-4. So yeah, that's how things are going in Pittsburgh right now.	18-23
26		Cardinals	0	Bro, I'm straight up not having a good time.	16-24
27		Angels	0	Hot and then cold and then hot again, Jo Adell hit three homers this past week. With a wRC+ on the season now standing at 134 and a wOBA of .363, the next step for him is now maintaining a level of consistency. With a bottom-ranking farm system, his future may not ultimately be in Anaheim. The looming rebuild is going to be a long and slow process and at the age of 25, it is hard to see much point in keeping him if someone else starts looking his way.	15-26
28		Rockies	+2	We have the longest winning streak in baseball. We just swept the defending champs. I'm pretty sure that means Rocktober is coming. In all seriousness, the Rockies finally gelled for the first time this season. The Rangers didn't play poorly, the Rockies just played well. The concern now is what kind of "Coors Hangover" we'll see.	12-28
29		White Sox	0	The White Sox had a shockingly good week while clinching the season series against the Rays and winning 3 of 4 from the Guardians over the weekend. They have been playing objectively better baseball lately (which means that their 72 wRC+ season stat was at 84 last week, and their pitching has been middle of the league since the start of May). It's not much, but it's something. Myself, I'm excited to attend my first ball game of the year tonight. Of course, I'll be going to the Schaumburg Boomers home opener.	12-29
30		Marlins	-2	So the fish still cant produce runs but at least we got burger back. Luzardo looks much better in his return to the bigs but oof braxton garrett. Somehow miami managed to squeeze out a win this week against two top teams but well see how they do against the tigers and mets this upcoming season.	11-31

I recently finished The Sympathizer by Viet Thanh Nguyen and absolutely loved it. His blend of absurdist comedy and serious rage worked really well, the dude is an amazing writer, and the questions he asks may make you question your entire way of thinking.
Anyways, I wrote an essay (actually a video essay but can't link to that here) about my takeaways from the novel. It's very long so apologies, if you want to watch in video form I'll put it in the comments.

The greatest art makes you question. Question who you are, what you believe. Question the assumptions you make about the world around you. Question the fabric of reality, the nature of being. Question free will or fate. Question systemic influences of behavior, or intrinsic human desires. It does not answer, at least it doesn’t provide easy answers, because in these we find a more shallow understanding of ourselves and of the world’s complexity.
The Sympathizer by Viet Thanh Nguyen is one of these great pieces of art. Its questions are not concerned with your preexisting notions of the Vietnam War, nor will it dichotomize the opposing sides into good and bad, right and wrong. The complexities of the War are not simplified, and our American-centric perspective is challenged at every turn. If you read closely and mindfully, you may finish the book having examined the very nature of your way of thinking, our collective desire to neatly place thought into ideological boxes that give us an easy position on any issue.
Part 1: A Man of Two Faces
In Viet Than Nguyen’s eyes, the Vietnam War had no “winners”. The communist revolutionaries were victorious, yes, but at what cost? 20 years of brutal, deathly war tore the country apart. Somewhere between two and six million died, between the Viet Cong, South Vietnamese, Laotians, Cambodians, Americans, and Koreans. The country was poisoned, its lands decimated by constant shelling, napalming, and use of pesticides by the US. Not to mention the 2.5 million refugees created by the war, and the hundreds of thousands of civilians that were massacred by all sides.
Nguyen isn’t interested in picking sides in the war. People on each side, he says, perpetrated lies, hypocrisies, failures, stupidities, vile immorality, and corruption. These people may have known what they were doing was immoral, or they may have bought so completely into their respective ideology that they were blinded to their sins. Whatever the case, it was their very ideologies they used to justify their actions.
The story simply presents a story, fictionalized but rooted in truth, and makes you think for yourself. The story’s protagonist, whose name is not revealed so I’ll refer to him as “the narrator”, is a perfect vehicle for the nuanced examination of the Vietnam War that Nguyen wishes to present.
The Narrator is “a sleeper, a spy, a spook, a man of two faces … able to see any issue from both sides.” He is also a “half-breed,” a product of his mother’s rape by a French priest, and a womanizer, alcoholic, misogynist, and a murderer.
But I think Nguyen’s message goes further than simply seeing an issue from “both sides”. There are many sides to any issue, and seeing the world through a false dichotomy not only limits your understanding of its complexity, but if vilifies, or in some cases idealizes, the “other” and distracts your attention from truth. For instance, any US perspective on the war—pro or anti—is ultimately an American perspective that ignores Vietnamese, Cambodian, and Laotian suffering.
The narrator’s split psychology—as a bastard, a revolutionary masquerading as a capitalist, and later, a non-white in the U.S.—mirrors Nguyen’s own experience as a Vietnamese refugee living in America since a boy of 4 years. Nguyen said in a talk with Politics + Prose that as a child, he felt “deeply, intimately American.” But as Nguyen went to college and educated himself, he began to see America through clear eyes. He never felt belonging in America, and when he eventually visited Vietnam as an adult, he felt out of place for a parallel set of reasons.
The story begins just before the Fall (or Liberation, depending on your POV) of Saigon, and during this first act, we also meet three key characters, “blood brothers” who sealed their eternal friendship in blood at 14: the narrator, Bon, and Man, who is the narrator’s handler and main contact within the North Vietnamese army. As the city falls, Bon and the Narrator escape to the US, and much of the story follows their experiences as refugees from the war.
For the sake of concision, I’m going to skip ahead to two plot lines that best illustrate my point—the Narrator’s work on a Hollywood blockbuster about the Vietnam War, and another plotline I won’t reveal yet, as it spoils the last act of the book.
But know that there is so much more to this novel: Nguyen’s expert use of satirical humor, somehow finding the right balance between absurdist comedy and serious rage while he explores the collective trauma of his people brought on by a needless war and its aftermath. One of my favorite instances of satire involves a wild “Oriental Studies” Professor with a fetishistic obsession with all things “Oriental”, including the narrator’s embodiment of the “symbiosis of Orient and Occident,” a statement that causes the narrator to “clear my throat of a sour taste. (p. 65)”. But let’s set aside the satire, and for a moment, focus on the rage.
Part 2: Asian American Rage
In the U.S., The narrator finds work as an “authenticity consultant” on a film called The Hamlet, which bears suspicious resemblance to Francis Ford Coppola’s Apocalypse Now, but really serves as an allegory for Hollywood in general and how it marginalizes and mocks minorities all while propagandizing America and softening its image, not only to its citizens, but to the world that eagerly consumes its products.
“Movies were America’s way of softening up the rest of the world, Hollywood relentlessly assaulting the mental defenses of audiences with the hit, the smash, the spectacle, the blockbuster, and yes, even the box office bomb. (p. 172)”
The narrator went into the project with good intentions, hoping to promote more respectful and accurate representation of his people, but quickly discovers that, “The longer I worked on the Movie, the more I was convinced that I was not only a technical consultant on an artistic project, but an infiltrator into a work of propaganda.”
If you are rolling your eyes or doubting Nguyen’s criticism, I’d point you to this video, which I’ll link below: The US Government’s Not-So-Secret Propaganda Department. Not only does the Department of Defense pay for and help produce many Hollywood cash-cows—including but not limited to, Captain America, Top Gun, Wonder Woman, Iron Man, King Kong, Jurassic Park, Karate Kid, Godzilla, Indiana Jones, WandaVision, even Call of Duty—they have final say on the script! If they don’t like the way the US Military is portrayed, your movie is simply not allowed to come out. None of this is a secret, people seem to be content living in blissful ignorance.
This subplot, I think, is where Nguyen’s rage burns most fervently. He grew up an American, watched Apocalypse Now, Platoon, and more blatant pro-America propaganda such as Rambo, saw the racist and misrepresentative portrayal of his people, and internalized this anger. “In seeing [the movies], it was clear that the Vietnamese were not seen, they were seen through.”
The Auteur ignores the narrator’s guidance at every turn, and all the narrator manages to achieve in the movie is double-pay ($2 per day instead of $1!) for the less-desirable roles of Viet Cong, and the addition of three speaking roles for Vietnamese—who end up being played by other Southeast Asians rather than actual Vietnamese.
Before shooting the grand finale, the Auteur strokes his ego to the crew, saying that “Long after this war is forgotten, when its existence is a paragraph in a schoolbook students won’t even bother to read, and everyone who survived it is dead, their bodies dust, their memories atoms, their emotions no longer in motion, this work of art will still shine so brightly it will not just be about the war but it will be the war. (p. 178)”
Herein lies the dangerous truth about history. While the Auteur’s claim is objectively absurd, is he wrong? Apocalypse Now is hailed as a classic, the gold standard in war movies. It is anti-war, yes, but how many of us have seen or read the Vietnamese perspective on the war? I admit, until recently, I had not. This is why books like The Sympathizer are so important. “I had no doubt that in the Auteur’s egomaniacal imagination he meant that his work of art, now, was more important than the three or for or six million dead, who composed the real meaning of the war. They cannot represent themselves; they must be represented. (p. 179)”
Part 3: Independence & Freedom
This next portion will spoil the last act of the book, so if you want to avoid that, jump to part 4
The Narrator and Bon are captured on a South Vietnamese scouting mission, thanks to the Narrator’s tipping off of the communists. And here is where the story gets really interesting. I will do my best to relay the complexity of Nguyen’s message, but really, you should read the book, because the way he pulls everything together is miraculous.
We learn that the framing of the Narrator’s “confession”, which has told the entire story to this point, is actually taking place within a North Vietnamese “re-education camp”. We also learn that the Commandant who is reviewing the Narrator’s confession is not pleased with it. The Narrator has written countless versions over the course of one year in solitary confinement, and it’s clear that the Communists see him as a lost cause, a mind infected by capitalist ideals and too much time in America. The Commandant tells him, “you are addicted to the social evils of alcohol, prostitution, and yellow music.”
“Aren’t we all comrades? I asked the commandant at an earlier session. Yes, he said, but not all comrades have the same level of ideological consciousness.”
Luckily, the Narrator has one man within the camp sympathetic to his position as a sleeper agent that has fallen too deep into Western culture. He is a mysterious “faceless man”, flesh burned red and mottled with scars, later revealed to be from a Napalm attack. The prisoners, and even their guards, fear him.
The Narrator finally meets the commissar in his quarters, notices the famous Ho Chi Minh quote, “Nothing is more precious than independence and freedom.” And upon seeing the commissar’s horrific face, “eyes bulging from withered sockets, nostrils reduced to holes without a nose, the hairless, earless skull one massive keloid scar, leaving the head to resemble one of those dried, decapitated trophies swung on a string by an ebullient headhunter,” the Narrator recognizes him. It’s his best friend, his protector, his handler, his comrade, Man.
Guards shove him onto a mattress and tie him down, deprive his sense with a blindfold and ear plugs, but do not let him sleep. The narrator’s subsequent torture is brutal—not physically, but psychologically—and it is made more brutal by the fact that it is his blood brother inflicting the pain.
But Man explains his side of the story; really, truly, he is powerless to free the Narrator. It’s only because of Man that the Narrator and Bon are not dead already. “You frighten [the commandant]. You are nothing but a shadow standing at the mouth of his cave, some strange creature that sees things from two sides. People like you must be purged because you bear the contamination that can destroy the revolution’s purity.”
The Narrator must convince the commandant, as well as the commissars above Man, that the virus of Western sympathy has been eradicated, to have any hope of being released. And so Man must torture him, blast his retinas with bright light, shock him electrically to keep him awake, all in hopes that he will realize what he has forgotten.
As Man continues his torture, begging an answer to the question, “what is more important than independence and freedom?” Eventually, after a long, visceral session of torture, the Narrator realizes the answer to the question: Nothing! Nothing was the answer. “While nothing is more precious than independence and freedom, nothing is also more precious than independence and freedom! These two slogans are almost the same, but not quite. The first inspiring slogan was Ho Chi Minh’s empty suit which he no longer wore. How could he? He was dead. The second slogan was a tricky joke. It was Uncle Ho’s empty suit turned inside out, a sartorial sensation that only a man of two minds, or a man with no face, dared to wear.”
Man is a tragic character, which the narrator fully understands. “…while he was setting me free, he himself could never be free, unable or unwilling to leave this camp except through death, which at least would be a relief from his living death.” He commits evil deeds for the same reason many Nazi SS officers or Christian Crusaders or ISIS terrorists commit evil deeds—because they are so deeply bought into their ideologies that they are convinced that any violence is purely essential to advance the cause. Either that, or the manipulative or terrorizing systems of which they are propping up feel inescapable, and their only option, in their eyes, is to conform to what is expected of them.
It's never explicitly revealed where Man falls in this spectrum. The Narrator speculates that there is madness in his eyes, and certainly his unimaginable trauma of having his flesh melted by napalm contributes to his actions, but ultimately, it does not matter how much of his actions were through his own volition vs. peer pressure. The fact is, the revolutionary ideology that states “Nothing is more precious than independence and freedom,” that any faction who gets in the way of must be stamped out, leaves no room for individual thought. Your options are to conform or to be subject to reeducation or death at speaking your thoughts.
Part 4 – Question Everything
“What do those who struggle against power do when they seize power? What does the revolutionary do when the revolution triumphs? Why do those who call for independence and freedom take away the independence and freedom of others? And is it sane or insane to believe, as so many around us apparently do, in nothing? We can only answer these questions for ourselves.”
These are the questions our Narrator leaves us with in the last couple pages of The Sympathizer. Were you expecting a neatly-wrapped ending? Too bad, life doesn’t have many of those. [John Mulaney - Brush your teeth, now boom! OJ. That’s life.]
I want to come back to the idea of “ideology” that I mentioned in part 1. Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Žižek, a pioneer of this way of thinking of ideology, defines ideology as “the experience we have of our lives from within, the story we tell ourselves about ourselves in order to account for what we are doing.” Ideologies are dangerous, because they eliminate our need to think critically about our actions and beliefs, but they are also unavoidable.
Nguyen presents and dismantles several popular ideologies throughout The Sympathizer: French Colonialism, North Vietnamese Communism, Western Liberalism, Catholicism, US Exceptionalism (or “Disneyland ideology” as he calls it), South Vietnamese nationalistic democracy, consumerism. He points out the hypocrisies in all these ideologies. The fact of the matter is, avoiding hypocrisy in your thinking is nearly impossible. The best option, really, is to be aware of your hypocrisy.
Okay, but if you’re watching and saying, hey, I don’t buy into in all this global capitalist bullshit. I live my life authentically, I reject capitalism completely. Well, by doing this, you are turning to another ideology—anticapitalism. This is where this idea ties back into The Sympathizer. Because, yes, in theory, it is not so bad to be an anticapitalist. In fact, I would call myself one. But you know who else was anticapitalist? Joseph Stalin. Ho Chi Minh. Kim Jong-Un. All the North Vietnamese comrades who tortured and killed for the sake of the revolution. If you buy too deeply into anticapitalism without critical thought, you’ll end up like Man, licked by the napalm of conformity.
The commandant in The Sympathizer replies to the narrator when he says he’s anti-American. “The anti-American includes the American. Don’t you see that the Americans need the anti-American? While it is better to be loved than hated, it is also far better to be hated than ignored. To be anti-American only makes you a reactionary. (p. 319)” This statement holds true for anti-capitalism as well
Zizek goes a step further and says that even those people who think they see the world through eyes unclouded by ideology, who take off the ideological glasses that distort our vision, even they are prone to ideology. To see the world’s truth, you must put on the ideological glasses.
The only way to see that we are being manipulated and propagandized is to recognize the US Army’s fancy weapons and uniforms in the films we see, and understand that means they signed off on this portrayal of them. The only way to see that we are being manipulated to consume through clever design and marketing is to recognize the subliminal messaging and blatant brand placement in the media we consume. The only way to understand how politicians play off our emotions and conditioning to view the other side of the aisle as the enemy is to learn to recognize the tricks they use.
So, none of this is to say you can’t have an ideology. Ideology is unavoidable, anyways. But you have a responsibility to be aware of the hypocrisies and dangers in the beliefs you choose to follow.
“In such times of urgency when we know we have to act, but don’t know how to act, thinking is needed. Maybe we should turn around a little bit. In our new century, we should say that maybe we tried all too fast to change the world. The time has come to step back to interpret it.”
— Slavoj Zizek
Thinking for yourself is hard. It takes brainpower and willpower, and it’s undoubtedly easier to fall back on an ideology that gives you an easy answer for everything. Even in this video essay, I’m pulling heavily from Zizek and Nguyen to illustrate a point; you could say I am using them to think for me. And by the way, this choice is not meant to imply that Nguyen would agree with everything Zizek says; I think, in fact, they would disagree strongly on many ideas. But the central idea in The Sympathizer, I believe, aligns nicely with Zizek’s idea that we live in a world of ideology, where you almost have to pick an ideology to ally yourself with.
So, in true Viet Thanh Nguyen and Slavoj Zizek fashion, I will end this video with a few questions to think about. why do you believe what you believe? Which ideological beliefs do you hold, and what contradictions are inherent in these beliefs? What social structures and norms have shaped your identity?

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• What payment method you accept.
• How you acquired the GC and why you're getting rid of it.

Crypto^4, Paypal^1, Apple Pay, Chime, Cashapp, Varo, Venmo, and Western Union
I only have Steam as a substitute for cash payments in gift card trades.

Want ↓	Cash or a Gift Card ↓	Crypto4 ↓
Apple	60%3	NA
Amazon.ca	50%	50%
Amazon.co.uk	50%	50%
Amazon.com	70%	55%
Amazon.de	50%	50%
Amazon.es	50%	50%
Amazon.fr	50%	50%
Amazon.it	50%	50%
Amazon.jp	30%	30%
Arrow Films	65%	60%
Barnes & Noble	50%	50%
Baskin Robbins	60%	60%
Best Buy	25%	25%
BJ's (not BJ's restaurant)3	60%	NA
Bloomingdales	50%	50%
Burger King4	60%	NA
Clothing Shops (Small Boutique)	contact me	contact me
Dell3	60%	NA
Delta gift cards3	65%	NA
Delta Sky Miles3	PM me	NA
Delta Vouchers3	65%	NA
Dicks Sporting Goods 3	PM me	NA
Disney Plus	PM me	PM me
Dunkin Donuts3	60%	NA
eBay	70%	70%
Fandango3	10%	NA
Five Guys3	60%	NA
Gamestop	60%	60%
Gas Station Cards3	PM me	NA
Gyft	70%	70%
Half Price Books	50%	50%
iTunes3	60%	NA
J crew	40%	40%
JCPenney	25%	25%
Jersey Mike Subs3	60%	NA
KFC3	60%	NA
Khols	30%	30%
Macys	35%	35%
Magazines.com	40%	40%
McDonald's 3	60%	NA
Microsoft3	60%	NA
Moe’s Southwestern Grill3	60%	NA
Nintendo Eshop3	70%	NA
Nordstrom	50%	50%
Panera bread3	60%	NA
PSN3	60	NA
PSN Plus 12 month3	NA	NA
Saks Fifth Avenue	50%	50%
Sears	50%	50%
Sephora	50%	50%
Speedway (must be able to use on fuel)3	80%	NA
Staples	50%	50%
Starbucks US only	55%	55%
Steam3	60%	NA
Subway 3	PM me	NA
Taco Bell	60%	NA
Target	50%	50%
Urban Outfitters	50%	50%
Vudu3	50%	NA
Walmart	60%	60%
Wendys3	60%	NA
Xbox (gift cards)3	60%	NA
Other Clothing Stores, Gas Stations, Grocery Stores, Restaurant, & Fast Food gift cards	PM me

¹ When paying via PayPal, I can only send payments via Goods and Services, thus you will be charged a fee. If you'd rather not face this fee there are plenty of alternatives. ² Larger denominated gift cards preferred. ³ PayPal is the only payment option. ⁴ All crypto payments come from Coinbase. Any fees associated with it are built into the price.

What I don’t buy:

• Amazon.au
• Bass Pro Shop
• buffalo wild wing
• California Pizza Kitchen
• Canadian tire
• Cold Stone
• Dairy Queen
• Fanatics
• Giant Foods
• Google Play
• Grub Hub
• Gymshark
• Hilton Honors
• Hot Topic
• Krispy Kreme
• old navy/gap/banana republic
• Patxi's pizza
• PSN Canada or UK
• publix
• Raceway
• Scheels
• Shell Gas Stations
• Spotify
• Starbucks Canada
• Tractor supply
• Xbox Canada or UK
• Xbox live gold

Any fees are built into the price.

Selling

I have:
Up to $1000 in Amazon.com (can be broken up into smaller denominations) and am selling at

• 85%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)
• 90%: LTC

Up to $500 in eBay (can be broken up into smaller denominations) and am selling at

• 90%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)

Up to $500 in Apple.com ($15 and $50 denomination) and am selling at

• 90%: WesternUnion, Wise, Airtm (You can download the WesternUnion app and send the payment from your phone and I will pay the fees.)

Important: before you send your codes please make sure your account is secure (if your password is not uniqe it's best to assume your account has already been compromised. Scams where compromised accounts are used to leverage reputation to scam an unsuspecting user, used to steal codes during the middle of the trade, and steal unused gift cards the victim was saving for later are increasingly commonplace. If you have any concerns as to your account's security, please reset your password now and force logout of all sessions. Thanks