Who wants to help me test a prophecy 💀 Tbh I just need group energy It’s one of those lost prophecies, ya know, one of those lost due to racism trying to destroy at least one race just so another could conquer in freedom
Okay, so, do you know what a false prophet is? Usually someone designated a liar through another religion destroying another. Me? I’m multiracial, if anything (get a load of this guy, thinking he’s all that when there’s so many others), there’s prophecies surrounding multiracial people as most “modern” leading prophecies conclude themselves with all races being peaceful with awareness of warfare and such to stop when need be. I got genetic information, that leads to information conglomeration, in the correct circumstances of which I speak, that doesn’t make me a prophet, not to me, plus I don’t claim religion, haha
To me, prophets don’t exist as foresight is natural gift, so if you would like a singular leader designated foresight person for everyone, good luck not having a pawned controlled system, like yeah, leaders are great, but there’s male and female, naturally, otherwise herms, naturally (I will not speak for others as I have not delved that way, I am fine with they/them though so long as they recognize their natural place as to not upset the natural balance and force others into usually unnecessary relationships, but aye, being poly can be fun -or a time waster when no one is mature, not my first choice).
Ok so. Working out the kinks. Foresight has some to do with time travel, the natural form of time travel instead of purely mechanically led. So. I need a group of people. This is a stupid idea just putting online, but due to the government (and others) and how they’ve treated people trying to help others, healthily, in the past, I’m making this public because they also have people working on this. My goal is timeline ordinance, so like everyone 2000 and after can be born still, so no, I will not disperse this information to anyone older than the birth year of 2001 or likely younger than 2008, I am sorry (time travel part not the foresight), but if you do manage to figure, please, be cautious of the information paradox.
If my theory holds correct, the Jesus dude did what I am, or, time is consequential, so there is, regardless, a Jesus figure, or multiple (just not how most think). I will not go further into this part, y’all figure that on your own. I am not claiming to be that guy, just stating theory.
Okay so, I need those in places where they are most likely to be born regardless, as the information paradox can seep memories or lock others in their own and change current events.
We are to not change anything. We may save the lives of those we lost yes, but we risk losing our time frame, this is the point of meditation. We don’t need time terrorists. Our goal is to figure the best probability of keeping everyone alive without stopping others from being born, but don’t worry, if they aren’t born, they still exist.
Emotional health is needed to get anywhere with this so if you’re some regular power hungry person, it won’t work.
Now, the important thing to note, is that you can mind swap with someone doing this, so you can accidental trade bodies, but if the will is strong enough, well, classic “it’s not me but I’m still here if you help me remember and emotional trigger me” if the process works.
In the future, they have some time barriers to stop people from doing this stuff unless they are healthy, so in our current events, they are watching. We can project ourselves through time, our level of awareness designates how. I’ve had this information for a long time so you can’t get rid of me by trying to leave me out, or taking me out now, you seriously have to wait until anyone within my relative time frame, is dead. So the public, use this information to remember.
Obviously I won’t reveal the entire plan since you can clearly think of all of it at this point, should be able to. This is only if I decide to go back, like this is my decision to make, unless someone else remembers. You need to know your psychology, all of it, otherwise you will repeat all of your choices you have made. This is not meant for those who don’t have a will to fight back or stay living for others. This is not meant to be a display of power?
I seek not war but health. I seek not vengeance but an avenger. I seek not lies but the truth. I seek not hate but love. I seek not worship but recognition. I seek not religion but spirit. I seek not fame but fortune. I seek hot hearts willing to sear those who would pain unnecessarily. I seem to seek what most seem to avoid so openly.
To avoid conflict, I will keep this subject to America. Anyone who try’s using this information without contacting me after seeing this hasn’t earned, I earned. Aight, let’s see if my first therapists med recommendations are helpful or if I’m just crazy bc I predicted a 2026-7 war with America the other day and then I got a YouTube notification from Infographics saying “German Intelligence Warns Russian attack on Nato 2026” not even an hour ago. If this post affects anything, in minimal standards, it’s prolonged or sped up, maybe on schedule for some.
Lol let me know who made it through. I will not be accepting obvious non multiracial applicants to avoid racial war. I will not accept anyone affiliated with government protocol unless you straight up tell me how and, or I can clearly see. I will not be sharing my personal information of how I look to avoid fake outs, but I will ask of yours to confirm you’re real about sharing intention. No, I do not have this stuff written into any computer format, it is entirely useless getting information anywhere but here from here on, I have no socials besides YouTube, Xbox and Spotify, and this.
I will continue posting, if I stop for more than a month, something happened, the longer it goes, well, should be obvious given three main options lol
If you get lost, some emotions will make you remember a little bit. Chances are we wont make it, as I am supposed to have a wife in the process for an emotional way finder.

A lot of people have said that Lady Eboshi's character is all about protecting her people, including the weak and sick. Her goal was always to protect her people and make as good a life for them as she could.
But I disagree.
It's shown multiple times in the film that she would abandon any injured and even potentially let the castle fall along with the women who thought she's protecting them. She seems to exploit lepers and prostitutes in the guise of giving them a home. At the end if the film, I bet if the women found out that she'd abandoned their husbands and them, I'd reckon they'll have a change of heart.

*Management style:
Not democratic/participative. Not transformational. Not Coaching. Very much Autocratic/Authoritative/Coercive. Sometimes Laissez-faire. Style depends on the department.
*Chain of command:
The ministry is seen as a church by top management. Top management are the “elders” and the CEO is the Senior Pastor. Then there is everybody else. So, confidence is put on their positions of authority. They are, in all sense and purposes, the “spiritual leaders”. They present themselves as having spiritual authority and, therefore, as being entitled to receive immediate agreement and unquestioned compliance.
Also, there are multiple management layers or chains which this quote sums up as well:
"When you become an admiral, you never have bad meals and you never hear the truth. there are all these layers of management and buffer layers and each one is afraid to tell unpleasant truth to the top levels.... “
Not a culture of authenticity where everyone on the team, including management, is encouraged, and expected to be who they are. There is a sense that top management puts up a false front, they seem to want to appear perfect. Illusions of invulnerability exist. They always lead well, they always make the right decisions, they never admit mistakes, etc. Want people to think they got it all together- all rainbows and lollipops. Do not exhibit vulnerability. Toxic positivity is also very much present: Everything is seen as “awesome”. So, there is judgment if you have a bad (not "everything is awesome") day.
The vertical chain of command, results in less collaboration, slow communication, lack of career growth, feelings of subordination, and decreased employee empowerment. Top management sets the rules and standards without any input from the “bottom” employees. Employee questions, concerns or ideas have to go up several steps of the chain of command so that upper management can address or approve. The bottom employees do not have the ability to make decisions related to their work or a particular situation. So, not everyone feels equal.
So, if you are not a spiritual leader, you are just basically told to submit and listen to those who are in authority over you because they are the people that “hear from God” and you are not and so whatever they say goes. And they set up a scenario where they basically kept those of us who were not spiritual leaders dependent upon them.
Many in management are overconfident and overestimate their abilities. They have a simple idea of how things are and how things work. Unfortunately, they make decisions that impact entire departments without gaining the needed knowledge.
The chain of command and lack of ongoing training also results in many employees being promoted so much that they max out their competence and will remain there until they leave or are let go. So, you end up with many in the role of management that lack the training and competence of the respective department. So, employees with the most authority are often not the most experienced and not adept in the particular field leading team members. And employees with the most experience and skills and knowledge and wisdom have the least (or no) authority.
Good leaders don’t always claim the “leader” title. Oftentimes, good leaders are those with more understated temperaments. Leadership is as much about listening as it is about telling. However, people with the most open and receptive personalities often do not have much authority.
Also, how the chain of command should operate when there is a unit that acted without proper authorization, it is not a junior authority who’s going to bear a responsibility for that, but somewhat of more senior status. And that’s true in any military or business or ministry operating by a code of ethics. So, if someone at the bottom of the chain is struggling, failing, or making mistakes, those at the top of the chain bear full responsibility. Everything stands or falls on leadership. Unfortunately, the chain at FCBH is not two directional.
There is also a sense that top management promotes employees who are least-competent but pose no risk to their own position (in-group bias) to management.
*Feedback:
Work environment or culture is not set up for employees to give honest feedback/opinions or to deliver bad news or to question or disagree with management.
Sample bias is also common. Management will send an email asking for feedback but they won't consider how only the people who are open to talking and sharing their opinions will participate while others won’t. Bias arises because employees with specific characteristics (e.g., extroverts) might be more likely to agree to participate than others, making the participants a non-representative sample. People with strong opinions or substantial knowledge about a specific topic may be more willing to give feedback than those without. Management does not follow up to determine why they are unresponsive or follow up frequently to reduce attrition.
Management claims they want to hear from employees, but they only want opinions and ideas on matters that are superficial or trivial. So, few employees give candid feedback on important and significant matters.
Top management does not involve employees in the change process when changes occur.
Management does not ask for honest feedback on their leadership or on decisions that are made that affect employees. Management will not ask how they are doing as leaders, what employees need from them. No regular check-ins or 1:1 on employees’ professional and personal well-being. Are employees stressed, disappointed or feeling burdened physically, emotionally or spiritually? No growth and career discussions.
Management will ignore most feedback, comments, suggestions even when it's common knowledge but will adamantly listen to employees who preface with "God told me to tell you..." Or “I felt God say …” or “God spoke to me and said…”
For example, management started focusing on Gen Z only after a few people claimed that “God told us that Gen Z are important for our future business growth.” In another instance, someone said “God gave us this word: we as a ministry need to really consider how everyone is wired, how each person is different. How people have different personalities.” Then, management affirmed this “word from God.”
If one employee brings something up to management it is often ignored and the employee is gaslighted. If two or more employees bring the same thing to management, then God is communicating something and they take it seriously (per Matt 18). Even if it is just coincidence or frequency bias.
*Groupthink/Conformity:
Groupthink, confirmation bias, in-group bias, illusions of unanimity, and self-censorship is very prevalent in the culture and especially in their meetings. There is a lot of direct pressure to not question, to conform, to agree with the views and personal convictions of the top management. Employees condemn those who disagree or question top management and they accept those who agree, creating immense pressure for conformity.
So, many employees frequently remain quiet, preferring to “keep the peace” rather than disrupt the uniformity. Employees are pressured to hide problematic information (especially from top management).
*Disagreements/Different perspectives:
Top management will also point out the working and living conditions of international employees to “encourage” local employees to not “complain” or give critical feedback or bring up legitimate problems (e.g., fumes or loud noises from construction in the building).
Management also often commits the "ends (or goals or vision) justify the means" fallacy: the work, the production and distribution of bibles (the ends) being done is more important, so employees shouldn't complain at all about the means or their working conditions (broken chairs, broken or inadequate equipment, poor work-life balance, bad management).
And, if management disagrees with you, with your observations, feedback, suggestions, or theology, they will often try to trump you with spirituality or vague meaningless spiritual terminology instead of using Scripture (properly interpreted), facts and reasoning.
In addition, top managers will take great offense when employees question or disagree with the directions and decisions they make. Dissent is not welcomed. Respectful debates/disagreement is not encouraged. Open discussion and alternative perspectives are not encouraged. Management does not value, support, or respect diverse opinions and ideas. They do not actively seek out different viewpoints. Do not allow people to speak their perspective, their thought of mind. So, there is no psychological safety. Employees do not feel comfortable expressing dissenting opinions without fear of retribution or judgment. Afraid of breaking the little glass image. People do not feel comfortable sharing setbacks, mistakes, failures. Management does not encourage open communication. Management often seeks agreement, instead of posing honest questions that challenge the status quo and provoke critical thinking and discussion. They do not encourage employees to challenge them. In fact, they are seen as a type of complaining or critical feedback and so are viewed as sin. This makes top management seem self-centered.
*Appeals to emotion: Guilt and Shame:
Top management often shares their personal opinions and convictions (e.g., spending money only when absolutely necessary, not accepting large gifts, not buying fancy items) as something everyone should do. It’s never direct. It's always through stories. Management loves stories. The personal convictions of management are presented as more than preferences.
For instance, top management encourages extreme frugality and poverty through their personal anecdotes #loudbudgeting and stories from international cultures. Think along the lines of: “we, here in America, have no right to be sad or to complain about things or to request better things or ask for accommodations or for more employee engagement because others (internationals) have it much worse.” Even wanting better equipment and supplies or asking for better working conditions is frowned upon (in some cases seen as a sin), even if your request helps you to do your job more effectively and makes the work better (a new whiteboard, a new office chair, better computers, etc.)
Example: “You should really try to come in to work even if you feel bad, even if you are snowed in and the roads are hazardous because people need to get our bibles. And our international employees work in much harsher conditions.”
You also get this feeling from the way they communicate that top management would rather not pay their employees. They would prefer it if everyone just worked for free because “we are on a mission from God. We are doing the Lord's work.” There is also a sense that employees should be more than willing to sacrifice their well-being, career goals, financial goals, personal goals for reaching people with their Bibles.
Leadership sets the example and expectations, so this all ends up making employees confused and feeling guilty and ashamed. Guilty and shameful about asks, spending money (even their own). Guilty and shameful about having nice things (new car, new phone, new tv), about making needs known, about sharing concerns regarding work, about asking for raises to keep up with cost of living, etc.
Example: An employee has continued to use an old whiteboard. It is so old it is hard to read and difficult to erase. Management likes to tell donors: “We don't spend money on everyday things like whiteboards…. Instead, we use that money for more bible recordings, for people to hear about Jesus.”
This also causes confusion. Every few months there is a meeting where management discusses how sitting on stores of money is bad, but spending it is also bad, but also not spending it is bad... "Being rich is bad. Money is bad. let's not accumulate money, that's bad. We must think about how people will see what we have. So we should look poor and not appear too frivolous." But top management is okay with receiving gifts from donors and other ministries. Management personally does not like to have nice “fancy” things, and as a ministry, they say FCBH should also not have nice fancy things, they should use the money for other more important things. They don't like when other ministries use their money for nice fancy things, but it's okay if other ministries give FCBH nice fancy things like tote bags, key chains, mugs, phone holders, lunch bags. Another example, it took them years to repaint the parking lot. It was at the point where people did not know where to park. Before repainting, management decided to remodel the hallways and install posters and multiple monitors with language stats.
There is also a subtle sense that producing audio and video bibles is the highest calling one can have. And it's implied that FCBH is the main means God uses to fulfill the great commission: “God needs FCBH to do these bible recordings or people (specifically unreached internationals) will go to hell.” So, top management hints that working anywhere else isn't really serving God (or at least, not serving God as well as one could if they worked somewhere else). They imply that working at this ministry is the only way to truly serve God and fulfill your calling. They also use this framing to guilt and shame employees into not quitting. Management implies that employees should not take opportunities to leave or take other jobs because getting the Bible to people is God’s highest calling for us as Christians:
“If anyone leaves FCBH, then they must not really understand the vision/calling. They are not committed to saving people. We should be willing to give up things to fulfill the calling. The apostles did not pursue better jobs and so God will provide if we need better pay, benefits, career. For those of us who join the ministry to hold true to get God's word to every person, it takes discipline because we have opportunities to do other things. I'm sure that Noah had problems with Builders because he probably had hundreds of people not thousands working on the ark. They started their own businesses and started side things going on. pretty soon they'll have no time to work with him on the ark. and you can have all kinds of diversionary things happen. and so we want to understand they focused in the ministry. and that's been one of the things that I've really tried to do is what did God tell me at the time this ministry began because I was not interested in this ministry. I was interested in living by faith and experiencing God through people and seeing people experience God. and when I was praying about that here in Albuquerque the Lord said bring my church together and make disciples. and then he also told me that when his people think the same they are one. so it's not a matter of getting rid of the buildings or the leaders but it's a matter of people thinking the same. They can go to different denominations, different buildings, have different teachers, and different preachers and leaders but once they think the same, they're one and that's what his objective was. and so that's when I felt like the Lord said get God's word to every person. So I'm challenging us to stay true to what God has called us to do. and every time somebody leaves the ministry there are reasons for leaving. but it startles me a little bit, because I think well we haven't, we haven't communicated the vision very well somehow because they didn't get it. like Noah building the arc. it it's a long project it's not a month or a year two years or three years. our immediate goal is 2033 and it means that we're committed to a cause. and that means some of us we give up something. I we've given up stuff we live in a small apartment and that's what we saw that God had us do and that's our lifestyle we we tone down our lifestyle to get the cause committed to the cause. and and I know that's difficult for some, in some cases maybe there's financial needs because of family growth and stuff there they just can't afford to work in the ministry. but sometimes it's a choice and every time somebody leaves it where it's actually a choice. I think we haven't communicated the mission very good the vision very good. I've been looking at is that could you imagine read reading the New Testament. and finding out that Peter about halfway through or Paul halfway through the ministry all of a sudden got a better job offer. and stopped their portion of the ministry they held the course no matter what happened. whether it was good or whether it was bad. Paul talks about this and sometimes we want to follow the Lord. but we don't impart on ourselves the same responsibilities that those disciples did. so when God Empower them is he empowering you in the same way. and you're making choices that maybe you shouldn't make that you will impart and say the Lord is leading me someplace else when in fact maybe it isn't. it's just a better offer. if the Bible in the New Testament was reading a little bit different than Stephen left the ministry at this point or James left the ministry at this point because of something I think we need to be very very careful and why I say that is that as we work internationally.”
SO, there is a lot of guilt and shame about leaving to pursue other interests or meet needs. Guilt and shame about wanting to leave to advance and develop professionally. For this reason, many remain “loyal” and stay at the ministry.
So there is lots of control and manipulation in the work culture.
*Weekly worship meetings:
These are mandatory and there are some legitimate concerns:
Top management seems to have misconceptions about true worship and worship experiences. They often reduce worship to singing by their communication, the way “worship” is used. Worship is seen as something we do on occasion - once a week, when we gather at work for the mandatory worship time. Top management, by ignoring other styles, seems to believe that there is a single style of worship which is correct for Christians.
And it seems like just about anyone can lead worship or be on the team: anyone that can play an instrument. Top management does not require a worship class or agreement to biblical principles concerning worship as a prerequisite for employees who desire to plan and lead worship experiences. So you end up with people who have different views/philosophies on the worship team. Unfortunately, many who lead do not take the time/effort to plan and lead worship experiences, to discern from songs that are better suited for individual or private worship from songs that are corporate or public worship, to discern songs that are controversial/questionable (have bad theology, weak theology), songs that are theologically ambiguous or songs that lean more towards “feminine” attributes. Most, if not all, of our modern “Christian” worship music is written at a simplistic level of understanding and comprehension. Most music tends to appeal to our emotions. Many songs appeal mostly to women. So there is a great need for teaching on the biblical principles concerning worship. Also a need to choose theologically balanced songs with music appropriate for the people. Unfortunately, many of the songs chosen are theologically incorrect (e.g., having elements from the Word Of Faith movement, New Apostolic Church, New Age). Songs are often not theologically balanced. Songs seem to be chosen for their emotional impact, to make employees feel good; many focus on just one aspect of God (e.g., love). Many promote self-centered worship.
Most of the worship leaders just sing the songs: They do not actually “lead” people into worship. They do not help people connect the lyrics of the song to where they are at in their personal life, to teach them something about God or help the people understand what this song means and what God wants them to get out of it, so they're not just singing songs and just doing, going through the motions or help them understand the depth and the richness of what lyrics mean and how it applies to their life. What matters to them seems to be whether songs are impactful, moving, and beautiful. (Whatever that means.) Whether songs make employees feel good. They don't seem to care whether the songs actually reflect truth: Do the lyrics line up with Scripture? Do the songs glorify self or God? How would new Christians or nonChristians interpret the song?
Theology is the study of God and it's very important doxology is an expression of praise to God so the point here is that all theologies should ultimately lead to doxology if theology doesn't lead to doxology then we've actually missed the point of theology so if you have theology without doxology you just have dead hold orthodoxy which is horrible. On the other side you have the people who say “forget about theology I just want to praise.” But if you have doxology without theology you actually have idolatry because it's just a random expression of praise but it's not actually informed by the truth of who God is so God is
concerned with both he's concerned with an accurate understanding of him and that accurate understanding of him leading to a response of praise adoration and worship towards him.
*Leadership quality:
Top management has more respect for donors and guests than their employees.
Management lacks basic core leadership principles/values:
Unfortunately, many employees are not given power or resources: Management just gives them the responsibility to get things done. Before responsibility is given, employees should be equipped: be empowered, have the authority, be given resources and have the experience. Employees are not empowered as individuals to solve their own problems using their own solutions. Micromanagement is often required every time the situation changes or problems arise. Employees are not inspired to act as leaders for themselves, delivering amazing performance without guidance. They have coaching sessions but only when there’s a problem. True coaching occurs regardless of whether the individual is crushing their goals or falling behind. Management does not seem to care about unlocking a person’s potential and getting the most of their performance. They seem only interested in producing more followers, not more leaders.
No method to hold management accountable to core values listed in their own Employee handbook. Employees are expected to abide by the procedures and rules described in the handbook but top management can choose to ignore it when it is convenient for them.
-Top management are NOT learners: No desire to develop and improve their skills.
-They do not ask employees: What’s one thing you see me doing—or failing to do—that you think I should change?
-They do not ask how they are doing as leaders. Or ask employees how they’re doing.
-They do not ask what employees need from management that they are not giving them.
-No performance evaluations for both management or non-managment.
-They often fail to emotionally connect with employees.
-They do not speak to employees' needs first.
-They do not focus on what they can put into people rather than what they can get out of them.
-They do not understand basic psychology, how people think and behave.
-They are often resistant to (and even hate) change: Perhaps because they fear losing control. In fact, new information, objective facts, research, stats, and even new ideas are often ignored in favor of what's easiest to do or because of tradition. If something has been done and “works”, top management does not see a reason to question it or to improve on it. If something was tried 5, 10, 20, even 50yrs before and failed, top management does not see a reason to try it again even if the exact circumstances have changed.
-They do not empower or give the means, the power or opportunity to do to employees.
-They do not trust others to follow through managing processes and performing tasks.
-They do not lead by example.
-They do not know when to move forward and when to back off, what to improve and how radical those improvements should be.
-They often fail to see options, and plan and prioritize.
-They fail to develop leaders around them.
-Their communication is often poor.
-Their listening is also poor: do not listen for more than facts, but also the feelings, meanings and undercurrents.
-They do not take the time to get to know the people they lead: no weekly check-ins which top organizations have to discuss how employees are doing professionally and personally. Management doesn't ask “what was good this week? What was not good this week? How is your well-being? How is your family?”
Competence in leadership skills is also poor.
-They are not teachable: not willing to keep learning, growing, improving in leadership and management practices: FCBH has a yearly “leadership” summit. But, the way it is set up, it reinforces weaknesses instead of challenging leadership growth.
The summit is also just for a select few in top management. Not every employee is seen as a leader so most employees are excluded.
Top managers attend the summit but there is no followup, no post accountability by other managers and especially by the employees that are under the managers. No discussion on how management will apply what was learned.
Some of the past speakers have had questionable characters and even questionable teachings (Judah Smith). Leadership qualifications and theological background seems to be ignored in favor of charismatics, dynamics, popularity.
-Top management does not take responsibility for their part of a disagreement or failure and apologize.
-They often embrace a victim mentality.
-They often limit yourself by your job title.
-They do not invest in better tools or processes.
-They are content with the status quo.
-They allow their past achievements to stagnate their desire to keep learning.
-There is a lack of discernment, finding the main cause of problems/issues.
-They do not anticipate problems.
-They do not accept the truth of the problem: Do not face up to the reality of the situation;
-They get bogged down in the details.
-They often avoid problems.
-They don’t deal well with problems.
-They do not have their team study all angles.
-They often do not value nontraditional thinking: Don’t embrace change, ambiguity and uncertainty well.
-They do not work well with differences.
-They do not have their own mentors or provide mentorship to others.
-They do not invest to improve their own professional or leadership skills.
-They are often insecure, constantly seek validation, acknowledgement and love.
-They limit employee's success and recognition:
-They do not seem interested in making people successful: Don’t attempt to remove barriers that prevent employees from being successful.

• They often feel threatened by accomplishments by employees who are not management:

If an employee who is not management has a great idea to improve the work, management often does not support it and may secretly try to shut it down.
When a team succeeds, management will not give other people credit and instead take the credit themselves.
It seems like some of the people working there were given the title of management, the position, and that alone made them qualified. Management or leaders assume that their position alone qualifies them to make critical decisions where they may not have the best data, insight, wisdom, skill, experience. Just because one may have the word “manger” in the job title, does not automatically make them a great leader. Leadership is about dealing with people, and the dynamics between those people, and influencing people.
*Dead end career path:
For the most part, top management assumes that team members are fine and "settled", rather than taking the time to understand their true feelings and needs. They do not ask employees where they are struggling, where they are having trouble, what frustrates them the most?
Management does not seem interested in making employees better both personally or professionally. They do not have a growth plan or professional development plan for employees. No job related training. They do not provide what is needed to help employees to grow and improve. They don't provide opportunities for employees to apply their talents and expertise. They don’t ask how they can better support employees. Employees don’t check on each other.
One is expected to work until health deteriorates and skills become obsolete so you leave in a worse place than you started. For most employees, there is no long term future with the organization. Management does not let employees know how they are doing and what the future looks like for them. What the opportunities are. They do not take the time to learn from employees what they want to be. No honest conversations to understand employees goals and ambitions. So, because there is no growth or development plan, no career path, once your skills are outdated, they will probably let you go or they will keep you in the same position and your salary will max out.
Management does not coach employees on how to manage their time, priorities, and energy; no teaching on how to problem solve, or make better decisions, or how to set boundaries or how to minimize context switching and zoom fatigue.

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First, feel free to share anything you want to and are comfortable with! This is intended to be a light-hearted, look back and think 'yep.. there it was' kind of post. I can look back and laugh now at a lot of things that really hurt me for a long time, but if you need to skip this one to avoid processing trauma or such, no hard feelings meant on my end! Love ya and see you on the next post.

1. When I was 2.5 (in the very late 80's, so times were a little different lol), my mother left me in the car to go from the driveway to the front door and hand my dad the mail. I quickly unbuckled and crawled to the front seat and somehow shifted my parents Cadillac (it was brand new and a HUGE deal as my parents were just middle class) and drove it. Into the front of our house.

It's a tax for my parents financially, for sure. My mother said I had never unbuckled, crawled to the front through the middle or sat in the drivers seat even pretending to drive before that incident. It was absolutely out of character and she swears it was only long enough to exchange mail and have a few words with my dad at the door, literally less than 2 minutes (I believe her). I watched her drive so closely and mesmerizingly that I just decided I was going to that day, Props to my parents as they never once made me feel bad about it and I even have fond memories of us laughing when someone would make a joke about me driving for a long time afterwards lol.

1. Went to the pop-up Titanic museum back in the late 90's, got a piece of coal supposedly from the Titanic in a pyramid shaped glass (resin? Can't remember honestly) from there. It was, as you can imagine in a tourist museum, very expensive, but my parents got it for me anyway. I cherished it and kept it in a "treasure box" with a lock for years... until I disobeyed my mother and took it for show & tell at school.. and who the hell knows what happened to it that day. I haven't had it since.
   
2. I was gifted $500 for gas money as a teenager, intended to last me through college practically. I accidentally threw it away later that night.
   
3. My stepfathers boss let me ride his golf cart thing one day while I was visiting. I got in, quickly and took the fuck off before the boss could get in with me. It knocked him down. I panicked and completely went deaf/disassociated/OOHFUCK'ed and didn't listen to everyone screaming at me to "just stop gassing it". I did no such thing and drove myself right into a semi trailer. My parents opened their own business after that and while I don't think it was the only factor, my heart tells me this incident played a role in it but my mom would *never* admit that, even now, I don't think. I should ask her.
   
4. I totalled my car on my 18th birthday, I say it was a tax because I wasn't paying close enough attention to the road and going a little too fast around a curve. Rolled and slid on the hood about 100 yards into the edge of the woods. I am literally lucky to be alive after this, a tree took out my headrest from the side, it literally barely missed my head. We were both unscathed.. somehow. All because I was too busy talking and flirting with my boyfriend, trying to be cool driving to the lake on my birthday with the music blasting and windows down. Now I am an incredibly aware drive and I try to be extremely cautious these days. because of these events. I don't drive any more than I have to, either.
   
5. Lost my passport. It could be in the Bahamas, it could be in my bedroom, it could be in a landfill, it could be in someone's wallet who's impersonating me... fuck if I know.
   

There's tons more but those were the incidents that bothered me a lot as a child/teen/early adult. I carried a lot of shame because of those things. I was a very, very "no way she has adhd, it's the 90's" kind of girl, it never crossed anyones mind. Only bc I was compensating excessively, which led to burnout. I was always super, chronically early, overly cautious, great grades, no late assignments EVER, etc. but I was slowly deteriorating inside at the tender of 9. I wasn't properly dx until 31-32, after running through the laundry list of wrong dx. If we had today's knowledge 30 years ago, it would have definitely been caught. I'm glad girls have more opportunities to address it earlier in life, rather than later now. Much love <3

Part 5
Gerard, God
Somewhere in time and space
He watched the passers-by as they moved about, following their daily routines, unaware of the fate that would shortly befall them. This was the time that fascinated Him the most. The moments before they finally understood that The Threat was here.
It was a sort of last hurrah, He thought. They didn't know it, but Gerard could nonetheless sense a sort of joi de vivre, a liveliness that simply didn't exist in prior times, and couldn't possibly exist in future ones. He watched mothers dote lovingly over their children, watched children hurl themselves into play with abandon, watched addicts take in their drugs like a drowning man would gulp for air. They might not known that there was no tomorrow for most of them, but they nonetheless seemed to put just a little bit of extra effort into everything.
Eventually, it came to an end, of course. It always did, no matter how many times He watched it. He saw happiness and mundanity give way to pain and suffering. Laughter was replaced by the screams of the dying. Life was replaced by death. The world replaced by destruction.
He sighed, leaving this timeline. He never watched the arrival of The Threat twice in the same timeline. There was nothing for Him to learn that way. His power was immense and total. He only had to witness The Threat once in each timeline to understand it.
Worst of all was the knowledge. The knowledge that He would only be able to save a single timeline. That all others would fall into ruin, destroyed and left to rot away. Only one could survive; the one that He chose. He could stop The Threat only once, for doing so would require Him to remain. Ever vigilant, ever ready to stop any recurrence.
He had to choose which timeline. That task was less than He feared, for now he knew that there were an infinite number of them. He could choose one with the right qualities, one whose nature would aid Him in His work. He realized then that He would, once He had chosen the proper timeline, finally watch The Threat come twice. Once, when He reviewed that timeline prior to choosing. And again, when He would stop it.
And stop it, He would. No other outcome was acceptable. He had already sacrificed too much. His mortality, His life, His happiness, His very soul itself. He had wrought Himself into a weapon, to strike down The Threat, and He would fulfill that purpose, no matter what.
----
Jerry Williams, Godslayer
Nibiru
We were sharks, swimming and darting among a school of fish. Gods and devas fled, screaming in terror as we flew through the swirling, chaotic energies that should have driven us -or at least my wife and daughter- mad within seconds. They had thought that their realm protected them.
Little did they know, we were already mad.
Inanna and I flanked a group of fleeing gods, preventing them from leaving this world, extending their essence into manifested bodies somewhere in one of the countless material worlds, or simply crossing the energy that was the core of their beings into the Spirit World. Here, in Nibiru, our divinities and demi-divinities gave us access to unlimited power. We seized it and wove nets with which to entrap those minor gods who could not find escape elsewhere, and had huddled here in fear of our coming.
As the group fled, we sped up, curving our course, which caused them to curve theirs, fearful of drawing too close to either of us. We moved slowly, carefully, angling them where we wanted them to go.
It wasn't long before the gaping maw of the Grandfather of the Gods came into view. Ixlublotl, the primordial god, the originator of divinity. The gods we herded realized their peril and turned to flee back the opposite direction, but there they found Aaina, burning towards them, screaming in rage and bristling with offensive energies.
Trapped, they had no choice. They attacked us. Emotions and thoughts, energy and matter, all of it flew at us in an orgy of sudden violence that churned the substrate of this world into a screaming chaos. All three of us linked our magics into a shield; a half-sphere of anti-magic that absorbed their attacks, sending the energy of which they were made back into into the swirling chaos around us.
They threw everything they had at us, a desperate last stand, driven by necessity and panic. All of it crashed against our defenses, the resulting streamers of magic filling the space around us with an all but impenetrable cloud. Hidden by that cloud, Ixy closed in.
By the time they realized that it was too late, it was over.
Ixy's physical body, that cloud-wrapped cacophony of maw-stalks, eye-stalks, spider-like legs and whipping tentacles, currently the size of a skyscraper, swept in, mouths snapping up the energies that were the cores of our quarry.
We came together when it was done. Inanna created a haven for us, allowing us to release the magic that held our bodies in stasis and protected us from the wild magic all around. It was a copy of our house, something she'd come up with a while back and shown to me with great pride. I had loved it, of course.
I sank into the loveseat with Inanna next to me as Aaina took the recliner.
"That's most of them," Aaina said.
"About thirty more," I replied. "And then we can start the next phase."
"Do either of you have any doubts about what we're doing?" she asked. I could see the indecision in her eyes. She was so young, and such a good girl. My heart broke at having dragged her into such dirty business.
"No," Inanna answered, her voice hard and confident.
"Yes," I added. "But at the end of the day, this is what needs doing."
Aaina looked back and forth between us, then nodded. None of us smiled.
----
Emily Windham, Wizard, Artificer
Fremont, Nebraska, at the corner of E 4th Ave and N Main St
Emily turned just in time to see the massive troll hit Jim Carmichael with a shoulder, sending the trooper flying before angling at her with no change in speed.
Acting on pure instinct, she conjured a wall of force between them. The troll slammed into it, shattering the magics that held it together with raw force, but the wall did its job, stopping the warrior in his tracks.
Emily snatched the rune-engraved knife off her belt and surged forward, jumping at the last second to put her in range of the troll's huge neck. The blade plunged in, and she released a quick burst of magic that made her legs and off hand sticky, allowing her to cling to the thing, too close for it to use its battleaxe on her.
She ripped the knife out and plunged it in again and again as the barbarian roared in pain and indignation at being hurt so badly by a foe so tiny. Emily grabbed his beard, yanking hard to bring his eyes to hers as she slammed the knife in and twisted, the magic in the blade telling her when it found his windpipe and carotid artery.
Blood sprayed, coating her face and shoulders. The troll's roars were cut off in a gurgling, breathy hiss. He stumbled, then fell. Emily rode him down, her eyes locked onto his, watching all hopes of victory, or even survival, fade from them. She lost herself in those eyes, in the mystery that was this troll's life, ending right before her. She saw the regrets, the crushed hopes, the shame of defeat and wondered at the context.
The impact as they hit the ground broke the spell.
Emily released the magic and stood up, instincts trained into her by the security troops and war wizards making her search for more threats before she could even process what had just happened. But there were no more threats. That had been the last one.
Greg Ramirez walked towards her, his rifle barrel pointed down, hanging from the sling in front of his armor and all the various attachments that he and the security troops referred to as their 'battle rattle'.
"Nice work," he said, eyeing the troll, who continued to gasp for air, the sound of his labored breaths reminding Emily of a pig squealing. She looked down, searching for that orgasmic feeling her bio-dad had so desperately wanted her to share with him, but not finding it. All she found was a sense of satisfaction, yet even that was too much.
Years of therapy, of telling her story to trained clinicians and listening to and internalizing their advice. All of it had helped her make friends and move among the normal people, but it had never erased that feeling of satisfaction. This was the fourth time she'd killed a sentient being, and each time, she felt the exact same way. It was a victory.
Her maudlin thoughts were interrupted by the bark of Greg's rifle. The troll's head jerked and deformed, a splattering of blood coming out as a .277 fury round drilled a hole straight through his temples. She glanced up to find Greg still eyeing her.
"You did good," he said, his expression showing some concern.
"I liked it," she said quietly, her eyes turning back.
"You liked killing him?" Greg asked. Emily nodded, wondering if she'd always be fucked up.
"I killed him," Greg said. "And I damn sure liked it."
Emily turned back, eyeing him with some interest. Greg was, in many ways, the opposite of her. Cool, confident, charming and just all-around well-adjusted. She hadn't ever imagined that he wound enjoy something like this.
"It means I won," he explained. "It means that big, badass motherfucker showed up here trying to bully us, and take whatever he wanted from us, and little old me stood up and said 'no', and when he tried to force the issue, I took his life away. It feels like justice. It feels like one less motherfucker trying to kill me and my friends. Damn straight I liked it."
Emily smiled. She didn't realized she had smiled until Greg smiled back.
"I read your psych eval," he went on. "I know you think you're fucked in the head, but I'm gonna tell you right now, you're not. You're a warrior, that's it. Bloodlust isn't a bad thing, if it can be controlled. Enjoying killing isn't a bad thing, if you're killing the people that need killing. Give yourself a break, girl."
He clapped her on the shoulder, then took the back of her head with his free hand and pressed her forehead to his.
"I'm gonna recommend you be allowed to join the war wizard roster. You're all trained up, you're prepared for it, and from what I've seen today, you're a fucking natural."
Without waiting for a response, he let her go and turned away, grabbing the radio fob on his armor and squeezing it.
"Black Lead, this is Black-Two Actual. All raiders at the target site are neutralized. We're commencing a sweep now, will report back in thirty mikes."
Emily smiled at his back as he walked away. A part of her reflected that he was a natural leader, knowing exactly what to say to her in that moment. Another part didn't care, because it worked. She glanced down at the troll again, and didn't see a victim.
She saw a victory.
----
Kathy Evenson, Professional
Somewhere in the ruins of an ancient city in the Seventh World
Kells shifted nervously as Kathy continued to cut chits from the electrical panel lid with the magical laser emerging from her fingertip. He held his machete, really a short sword, in one hand, and his dagger in the other.
"We really shouldn't be much longer, Kath," he said. Kathy had explained to him the difference between Kath and Kathy, and even hinted at the things she'd done while possessed by Pissface and calling herself 'Kath', and even gone into some detail about how much she hated the nickname. Kells hadn't cared. He simply agreed with her, then continued to call her 'Kath'.
And the truth was, she really didn't mind that much.
She wasn't quite sure why, though she could hazard a guess. The man was disarming to a great degree. He presented himself as a dirty wanderer, a simple, violent man who shouldn't be trusted as far as you could throw him. But within just a few minutes of meeting him, she'd seen the intelligence in his eyes and words. She had seen the integrity in his negotiations with her, and the ethics that had turned him protective when the Searchers had appeared.
And despite that protectiveness, he still managed to avoid being patronizing. When she'd told him how she planned to get his chits, he had warned her of the dangers, then agreed to come along without hesitation when she didn't change her mind. Kells was a good man, she thought, and if a good man wanted to call her Kath, she supposed she could let him reclaim the name from the hell it had once represented.
"It won't be much longer," she said. She already had over seven hundred, and this plate would bring her to eight hundred. She only needed five or six more. This deep in the ruins, there was an untouched electrical box on almost every building. Some had been corroded, but most were surprisingly intact.
As she cut the final strip into chits, a roar sounded. It was a gurgling, rasping roar, unlike anything she had ever heard before. Or rather, the first one had been unlike anything she had ever heard before. This was the third time she'd heard it, and it sounded closer than the last two.
"That's no good sign, right thur," Kells said.
Kathy finished, dumping the little squares of galvanized steel into her bag and standing up.
"Come on," she said. "We'll go a couple blocks away from whatever that was before I cut the next one."
"Aye," Kells agreed, his head swiveling on his shoulders as he followed her down the alley. Kathy took note of how spooked he was. He seemed more nervous here than he had with the Searchers right in front of him. She supposed that might have something to do with the nature of the threats. The Searchers were, regardless of power and reputation, mere humans. Whereas whatever was making that roar was clearly some sort of monster.
She led him six blocks in a direction away from the roar before she stopped to examine the buildings. They had moved into a downtown area, which was one of the reasons she had stopped. The buildings here were closer together, which should make the rest of her task quicker. She found a good cover and ripped the little padlock off, then pulled it open and off its hinges.
A mass of spiders rushed out of the electrical box. She jerked her hand away, but they ignored her, scurrying down the wall and vanishing into the cracks between the bricks, safe once again in enclosed darkness.
She began to cut as Kells again stood watch.
She hadn't even made it halfway through the panel when another roar sounded, even closer than the last, and from a different direction.
"Call it," Kells said. "Call it now, Kath. Better ye collect some more later on than deal with the beast makin' them sounds."
"What kind of beast?" Kathy asked. She kept cutting, but glanced up and around, not seeing anything but filthy, dilapidated alleys.
"Walkers, they call 'em," Kells said. "Like great spiders, but rottin' away, with bones stickin' out an' flesh hangin' off th'legs."
"Great spiders?" Kathy asked. "How big?"
"Bigger'n a building."
"You've seen them yourself?" Kathy asked.
"Only once," Kells said, his voice growing quieter. He seemed to be done speaking for a moment, staring around. But after a few seconds, he continued.
"Friend o'mine, name o' Gil. We used t'work together, he an' I. I were real new to runnin' a caravan crew back then, about ten years back. Gil were an old hand at it, though. Took me under 'is wing and taught me th'roads, as it were.
"Anyways, we'd taken a pair o' contracts. Rough ones, with a tight timetable. Merchants needed t'get to Freeman's Port post-haste. One faster'n th'other. Gil took that one, left me with the easier one, though that weren't t'say it were an easy job.
"We was in Craster's Holdfast at th'time, an smack in between there an' Freeman's Port were an ancient ruin. Big one, 'bout the size o' this'un, in fact. Normally, it took about a week t'travel between the two places, but if one were brave or foolhardy enough, they could cut through th'ruins an' make it in five days.
"Well, old Gil had that in mind. We left together, an' at th'place where ye normally would turn north t'go around the ruins, he led his caravan on straight. I prayed fer their safety that night, but never really believed anything would happen. Gil were an experienced caravaner, an' tougher'n anyone else I'd ever met.
"Two days later, we was walkin' this ridgeline north o'the ruins when somethin' called out t'me. Not sure what, exactly. I started lookin' south, scannin' the ruins, an' sure enough, I found Gil's caravan, walking down a wide road between th'largest buildings. They was movin' at quite a clip, I hav'ta say.
"I were tickled pink, at first. Because we'd made near as good a time as they had, despite movin' almost a day's north to skirt th'ruins. But as I watched, I realized that they weren't just travelin', they was runnin'."
Kells sighed, his eyes distant and full of old regrets.
"That's when I saw one. A great Walker, striding out o' th'deepest part o' th'ruins. The way it moved were like nothin' I ever seen before. It crawled along th'sides o' the ruins themselves, like a spider almost, but always with two or three feet on th'ground.
"It came fer th'caravan, and fell on 'em in a slaughter. I watched it breathe fire down on 'em, stompin' men flat with its feet an' scooping 'em up with its great claws."
He sighed again, then looked down. He tucked his sword under his armpit and used his hand to rub his eyes for a moment, before taking the blade up again.
"Killed 'em all, it did. Erry single one, as I live an' breath. An' when it were done, it went around, stompin' th'bodies flat. Never ate one, jes did all it could t'make sure that not a single survivor lived t'tell the tale. I were shook something fierce, I tell ya. Took me own caravan down off the ridge, t'avoid bein' spotted. We ended up arriving a day late, but to this day, I thank me lucky stars we made it at all."
Another sigh came, and Kathy heard the cracks in his voice as he continued on.
"Not Gil, though. Nor any o'them what worked for him, or th'merchant what hired him. A few years later, I worked up th'courage t'take a couple o'men into the ruins, t'find the bodies. I found bones dressed in Gil's clothes. I took his sword, which had survived, an' is th'one I carry to this day. I think Gil'd be pleased to know his blade had saved me life, quite a few times since."
Kathy finished cutting the cover up and stood to put her hands on Kells' shoulder.
"Thank you for telling me that," she said, her voice gentle. "I can tell it's an important story to you."
Kells nodded and sniffed once, then jerked his head in the direction away from the most recent roar. "I still think we should get out o' here, Kath," he said. "I'll face down the Searchers an' be happy o' a good death, should they take me. But them Walkers... They ain't warriors ye can face an' die with honor. One o'them things finds us, there ain't no fightin' it. We jes' die screaming, th'only consolation coming when it's all over."
Kathy weighed his words carefully. Kells knew this world far better than she did. And while she knew her own abilities far better than anyone here, she had to be mindful not to be too arrogant. Kells had told her how a single Walker had slaughtered an entire caravan of experienced fighters, led by an experienced leader.
"Okay," she said. She handed the bag to Kells. "There should be about eight hundred and fifty chits in there. You can count them out later, and I'll trust your count. After I find what I'm looking for, I'll collect the rest and we'll settle up."
"Good call," Kells said. He tied the bag off to his belt and walked to the corner of the building, peeking around. When he was satisfied, he nodded. Kathy joined him, and together, they made a beeline to the edge of the ruins.
They had made it about halfway out when another roar sounded, this one right on top of them. A rumbling crash sounded from her right, and Kathy turned to see rubble falling to the ground as something massive rose off the ground, two blocks over.
"Stars an' stones," Kells swore, then shouted "Run!"

Okay so, me and my friend are making a comic (possible webtoon) and we need some input on something.
We have 3 characters that we want to be in the polyamory relationship, but right now its like, they both have a crush on one character, they bond over that, but we want something else for them to bond over or have a mutual understanding that makes them close.
For reference, the girl in this duo is a siren/anglerfish thing that like in most stories, has legs when out of water. Her home and village has been destroyed due to water damage and is currently trying to get money to rebuild it. They're in a group with a runaway princess that has a bounty on her head, thats how they get money. The guy in this duo is a god of some sorts, that comes along to make sure they don't get into trouble, when he sees the ruins that all the people in the groups homes are in, he sort of has a meltdown over how the things he helped create werent as good as they thought they were.
Their crush is a sexy tiefling lady, but we want to have an equal amount of attraction between them all. I hope I've explained it enough, sorry if i cause any trouble lol, ask questions and ill answer them for you!
dynamics: God and Tiefling start off as enemies, but they both find eachother undeniably attractive. Siren and Tiefling bond while doing a kid in the groups hair, they both hold high amounts of respect and attraction towards one another. God and Siren bond over the attraction they both have for the Tiefling, and realize they've fallen for one another later on, but they don't have anything else going on for them.

Hey everyone,
I'm reaching out today because I really need some advice and a space to vent about what's been going on in my life. So, I'm a 25-year-old guy, and I was in a relationship with a wonderful woman, also 25, for about three and a half years. Unfortunately, she decided to break things off, and it's left me feeling pretty lost. It's a bit of a long story, so bear with me!
It all started back in late 2020 when we matched on Tinder. Right from the start, there was this amazing connection between us. We had so much in common—our love for fitness, travel, music, food, you name it. It felt like we were a perfect match, like two puzzle pieces finally fitting together. But, of course, every relationship has its challenges.
One big issue we faced was our different love languages. See, I'm big on physical affection, while she values quality time together. I tried to show her love in the ways that mattered to her, but I admit I wasn't always consistent, especially when it came to being romantic. Despite this, we didn't have many arguments, and we enjoyed traveling together whenever we could, which was a nice escape from our separate living situations at our parents' homes.
After a couple of years together, she suggested we move in together to have more intimacy, but I wasn't ready financially, being a student with loans to pay off. I thought we should wait until we finished our studies before taking that step. Looking back, This have contributed to some frustration on her part, as she craved more closeness and shared experiences in our day-to-day lives.
By the end of 2023, we fell into a bit of a routine, and I'll admit, I was more focused on our future plans, like our dream of spending a year in Australia followed by a road trip in Asia. She, on the other hand, was craving more spontaneity and attention in the present moment. Things came to a head in November 2023 when she began to doubt our relationship (routine, lack of romance, incompatiblity). Unfortunately, due to my exams and surgery, she didn't feel she could express these doubts to me at the time to work things out.
Meanwhile, I went on a solo trip to celebrate my graduation in January 2024. During this time, I had a lot of time to reflect, and I realized I needed to make some changes in our relationship. I started to see the importance of spending quality time together, trying new things, and being more romantic. I even reconsidered our future plans, realizing that maybe a long trip wasn't what I wanted after all.
However, by the time I returned in March 2024, her doubts had grown into something more serious. We had a heart-wrenching conversation where she expressed her feelings had changed, and she couldn't see a future with me anymore. She didn't wanted to go to Australia anymore and felt like one of us would not be happy especially me. I was shocked and didn't thought about expressing the "shift" that happenned during my trip, i just went home. The same day i texted her and said that we need to meet and talk more in details, we did and she was surprised by this "shift" from my side, she told me that she needed some time to think about it. 3 days after, despite my efforts to show her that I'd changed and that we could work through our issues, she felt it was too late. So we broke up, it was devastating, but I respected her decision. We ended it remembering all our beautiful memories and by a last kiss.
In the weeks following the breakup, I focused on myself, landing a great job and reconnecting with my family. But, of course, I still thought about her constantly. She still had my photos on her instagram, was liking my photos/stories so i thought there was still some open doors. About three weeks after the breakup, I reached out to her, hoping we could talk things through.
I asked her if she would be available for a "date", and she was hesitating and saying that it was too early. During our conversation, she admitted she still had feelings for me, was attached to me, and had a lot of affection. Despite this, she felt it was too early to meet, indeed she was very busy these last days and didn't had time to really feel the breakup, however she was sad and thinking a lot about me. She said she would like to maintain a connection with me but don't know how yet. She also said she couldn't see a path forward, she know that this breakup is sad because it's a lack of timing and she didn't communicated earlier, but in her hearth she feel like it's too late. I ended up telling that I understand her point of view but I would be here if she change mind and want to work on the relation.
Since then, we've had zero contact. She is in a trip with friend in Mexico so i think still didn't have time to think about everything. I unfollowed her on social media to give myself some space. I improved every aspect of my life and i go a lot to gym, eat healthy, sleep well, got good routine. I even want to go to therapy to dig deeper and try to improve some negative aspects i'm not aware of. I really think this relationship is worth it because we are both compatible and that the issues mentionned are temporary and concerning the romanticism my mind has changed.
So, that's where I'm at. Any advice or insights you have would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening to my story.

I remember when WD2 came out everyone started comparing Marcus to Aiden and most of the comparison revolved around how Aiden is a dull character who is always depressed.
Even though I have completed WD1 when it was released I thought I will give it another shot as I wanted to experiment with some mods. The character of Aiden Pierce isn't as bad as people make him to be. Honestly it reminded me of Max Payne, a guy filled with guilt abt his inability to save his loved one's. Everything Aiden does in this game is protect his family and bring justice to his niece. He might seem dull and it seems fair. He is just looking for revenge and nothing else.
Most of the hate this game recieved is because of his character but I feel people should give it another chance. The story might dark and depressing but it really entertaining, for me it is one of the best stories ubisoft has written/developed since FC3.

I’m struggling so much trying to feel less guilty about breaking up with my bf of 5 years. I’ve cried every single day since and it’s been almost four months. We had a dog together that he got me as a gift. It was my dream dog and I’ve never loved anything more. We had a lot of issues and have overcame so much in the 5 years including long distance and grieving a death. My family was pushing for us to break up and didn’t want us together while his family loved me. I am a very family oriented person and he stopped going to my family events two years ago because he didn’t really like my family and it overwhelmed him, which made my family dislike him even more thinking he didn’t even try but he did in the beginning then stopped after I moved in with him. I worked with his family and my whole life revolved around him for two years. We lived together for 3 and the house was stunning. I loved it so much and loved living there and took my dog for a walk every day. I had a really good paying job and easy life. I met him when I was 19 and he was 27 so he had already gone out a lot and was more ready to settle down. When I first moved to his city I wanted to go out and he never really joined me. I was 22 and wanted to explore the city and never really asked him because he didn’t seem to want to go out. I turned 24 and didn’t really care about going out anymore just wanted to be with him more. He loves gambling and would go a lot and it never bothered me until recently I felt like he didn’t want to spend time with me as much. We broke up for a while and I felt so lost with out him. It lasted two months and he told me he went to a strip club which was one of my triggers since he used to go all the time before he dated me and it always bothered me and made me feel jealous/insecure. He went 3 times during us dating and I said it was fine as long as he told me but I would secretly cry about it and feel super crappy and like I wasn’t good enough. I did a lot wrong in the relationship. I would complain to my family and seek attention from other people just to receive some compliments and feel good about myself. I realize that I had a lot of red flags and wish I wasn’t so immature in the beginning. I messed up a lot and have felt so much guilt and beat myself up everyday. I feel sick about it all and the way it ended. It was a pretty toxic relationship but I don’t doubt at all that we didn’t love each other. I had a lot of issues being able to be in a serious relationship and it was hard for me to commit in the beginning it took me awhile to call him my bf because I was really scared I would get hurt. I know now that I wasn’t ready in the beginning and I needed to work through a lot of issues on my own but I didn’t want to lose him. He definitely added a lot to my insecurities and anytime I told him one of them I felt he would use it against me. He had a lot of issues but I know that he loved me so much. I feel like I left everything I’ve known for the past 3 years. I had friends there, a good paying job, i would clean the house and didn’t have to pay rent. He would hold over my head sometimes but it was so easy for me financially. Just I was depressed sometimes like something was missing. I feel ungrateful now seeing what people put up with in relationships and how hard life is with inflation. I have rent now and a car bill and I’m a server. Life is incredibly hard for me and I make way less than I did working with his family. I felt awful leaving him and I gave him the dog. I lost my will to live almost and knew there were a ton of problems but felt like if I finally left my family would be happy and their opinions matter a lot to me but now I’m lonely every night and wake up lost and afraid of what my life is now. I’m at peace but I’ve never been so lonely. I have a supportive family and am going to therapy now and it’s helping but I still wonder if I messed up my whole life by quitting my job, moving out, breaking up with him and letting him keep the dog. I think I felt so guilty because I confessed to him that I was with someone when we were on break and the guilt was eating me up in side. He wouldn’t tell me what he wanted to do if he wanted to forgive me for a week he wanted to think about it but I just moved out before he told me and haven’t really talked to him and went no contact. I wrote him a 5 page letter about how much I love him and I want to work on myself and that I was sorry for what I did. He never really apologized to me because I’ve always taken the blame for everything before he could. I didn’t really communicate with him well about the things that bothered me. I didn’t really give him a chance to change I just hoped he would notice. He asked me to go to a hotel to gamble with him a few days before I left. I told him I didn’t want to and to go with out me. He talked to me for an hour on the phone on the way there and I was okay till it was 1 am and I told him I couldn’t sleep and was scared and he hung up and didn’t care. I stayed up the whole night wondering bout him. He got home at 11am the next day and texted me he loved me. I got off work and told him it upset me and it ended up me being the one apologizing since I said he could go. He said he knew I would act that way and got mad at me. I just gave up the convo and just thought I can’t do this anymore so I shut down. I got distant and looked cold hearted when I left but inside I was dying. I feel incredibly guilty everyday and am scared to see him move on even though I’m the one who broke up with him. I’m scared I won’t find better and I still love him and his family so much and haven’t had any desire to be with anyone else or even talk to or go on a date. I’ve just been sad every single day and have tried to find joy but nothing excites me anymore. I felt like a horrible monster and idk how I even did this. I’m hoping it was the right thing and I’m trying to fix all my issues with my therapist. I feel like I desired to be single in the beginning of our relationship but now that I am I hate it and miss him so much. I’m terrified and still in denial. This is all coming out messy but just so much about it is all messy and I feel like I messed up everything. I wanted to marry him but I felt like I messed it up and sabotaged it too much and couldn’t come back from it anymore. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been journaling everyday and trying to remain strong and not reach out when I miss him and my life and now my life is hard and I make no money and have tons of bills. It’s terrifying and I relied on him a lot financially. I feel like idek who I am anymore and I’m depressing everyone around me because I’m so sad and everything reminds me of him and our dog. My heart is broken into pieces and I just want to be sure I did the right thing. I feel so incredibly selfish. I didn’t fully explain everything in our relationship but it was very complicated and at times toxic. I do miss him though and feel at fault for a lot of things. Idk. I feel like I lost my motivation and don’t really care about anything anymore. I wonder if his family hates me now. I feel like everyone thinks I’m a bad person for leaving. I just want to crumble. I don’t know who I am anymore and how to stop feeling less guilty. He’s going to have no issue finding someone new since he’s super successful and has his own house. I feel very insecure and I get memories on Snapchat of him everyday and have 5 years worth of memories. I’m terrified and stressed with money. I’m about to turn 25 and feel like I’m starting my whole life over. I don’t know how to let go even though I needed things. Is something wrong with me?

Why don't all character do a version of Nanami's overtime to buff themselves for the fight? Well you have to understand the metaphors the power system represents. I'm not saying power scaling is pointless but most abilities are related to the character's personalities in some way.
Nanami + Overtime + 7:3 technique:
Nanamis entire theme as a character is about his past working a corporate job and how he got tired of it. His 7-3 technique can be read as a metaphor for the 9-5 and the ratio part of the technique represents a "work life balance" so when he perfectly fits the ratio of both work and life it buffs his attacks. His overtime binding vow just makes logical sense in relation to his theme because overtime is a part of working a job. If all characters could make an overtime binding vow it wouldn't make sense for their characters because overtime is a metaphor for Nanamis personality.
Gojo + limitless:
Gojo as a character is lonely so him creating a barrier between him and the outside world as part of limitless fits his character.
Geto + cursed spirit manipulation:
Geto as a person was heavily traumatized but instead of trying to overcome his depression and trauma he lets resentment build up (kind of like how cursed spirits are formed), leading him to going insane and genocidal. Instead of releasing negative emotions, he suppresses them and this is exactly what cursed spirit manipulation does. It stores cursed spirits which are made out of negative emotions.
Sukuna and the fire arrow binding vow:
Sukuna's theme is that he's both an entity that is worshipped and a chef at the same time. Meaning when Sukuna did the fire arrow vow it perfectly fits into his theme. Sukuna always uses food metaphors. For example, he calls Gojo a fish that he's going to cut up. The narrator literally says "Sukuna cuts up the ingredients with cleave/dismantle then unleashes the furnace/divine flames to cook them". It's all meant to be a metaphorical representation of who Sukuna is as a person.
​
This isn't even reading comprehension curse it's media literacy curse. You can perfectly understand what is happening in a story and still misunderstand what it's trying to say from an emotional lens and not purely logical.
So when the question becomes "why didn't character x do x binding vow to become strong"? You're telling on yourself because you are admitting that it's stupid for that to happen because narratively it doesn't make sense for that character. If these binding vows actually happened you would probably complain and say the story has become binding vow spamming.
Secondly, what binding vows can the main cast even do at this point? They don't have a special one hit kill attack that they can instantly use without hand signs. I can't think of a binding vow that would make sense.
In conclusion stop taking the powerscaling so literally and try to understand what the story is trying to say.

mga bakla, hanggang ngayon talaga marami pa ring malungkot sa results ng elections. dismayado pa rin ako. some competent leaders are wasted. grabeng kink naman yan bueños, taon taon na lang?
may nanalong cheater at ghoster (sa relationship). may nanalong may attitude problems. may nanalong walang experience sa position niya. sige valid yet questionable. pero mga bading??? IVC??? sure na sure??? real na real???
i don't hold any bad grudge against Buiza. kung madadaan sa good governance, which is the bare minimum, go ante ilaban mo. she's the least expected candidate to win the position. malakas talaga ang makinarya ng LLR at dinaan na naman tayo sa popularity politics. si bading na in my "pls pls pls like the actual photo" nung eleksyon para sa mind conditioning game nila lmao. PERO MGA BAKLA, LET'S GIVE HER THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. magaling daw si ante mo. sure naman na may mapapatunayan siya given the pressure from people and how some pips out there make her feel she's unworthy. she is worthy. pero may MAS deserving. may MAS napatunayan na. may MAS experienced.
let's just watch her. it's a challenge for miss ma'am to do better. I feel bad for her. hindi natin kontrolado ang mga tao. kung ako sa kaniya, kahit winner ako, pakiramdam ko talo pa rin ako if sad reactions ang binibigay ng mga tao sa picture ko. people are disappointed sa results sa IVC post na hindi niya kasalanan btw. we can't control what people say and as a public figure na, she should be open to criticisms. patunayan na lang miss ma'am. don't hold any grudge against mx. panaligan na wala ding kasalanan sa reactions ng mga tao.
We know who is the most deserving one. It's BADETTE. Move on na po tayo mga bading keri ba 😮‍💨 ako kasi hindi (JOKE ONLI HAHAHAHAHHA).
Ang heart-breaking talaga (UMIYAK???). We failed her. Sana maging member si ante mo ng GLC but how???? aw inda mga bading iyo na muna an tabi. maski sa Jollibee si Badette ang topic. good morning

• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.

1. Either agender and/or pangender. I’m also either asexual and/or pansexual. I live comfortably alone but have a decent number of friends that I maintain communications with. Onlookers seem to believe I am dating all of them (not all at once but individually depending on which one I am “closest” to), which I take to mean that I apply no distinction between a friend and a partner (which I can agree with), hence the asexual/pansexual duality. Not really sure what this has to do with typing but there's a description.

• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
Yes.
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
I had a whole paragraph here but I realised it was probably very NSFW so I've decided to remove this part.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
I’m an engineer, a mix of both hardware and software. I like the work of my job, but I don’t care much for the job or career part of it. I don’t have any career ambitions and would rather just learn the skills that the work can provide me and then move on to becoming entirely self-sufficient and only working for myself. I don’t think it's the other people aspect I dislike here as such, more the lack of independence and control over how I spend my time. That said, it’s worth it to live on my own two feet away from disturbances in the house.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
I know I would be completely fine, as I do this regularly. I don’t think I feel lonely nor refreshed. I generally have plenty to do with my time and find ways to occupy myself, even if that involves doing nothing and resting. If I’m interested in someone's thoughts or feelings on a topic I will just message them without issue and I usually do this once or twice a day, but there are many occasions in which I will just be focused on doing my own thing and won’t have contacted anyone.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I do all kinds of activities, from reading to games to sports. I’m very good at sports and enjoy them, but I usually choose to stay inside over doing them. I think to an onlooker a lot of my activities could look more like work than fun, but I get fun out of them. You would be most likely to find me (or not) inside reading some kind of research paper or building a machine. If not that then you’d find me playing a single player RPG/sandbox style game and if not that then you’d probably find me meditating/introspecting. You’d probably only find me outside playing sports if I’d been asked to by a friend.
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
Very curious. I research just about everything in depth and if I had free time I would research even more. It’s become something of an inside joke at work that I will come in and have some kind of new theory or discovery to share with the office about some random topic that has nothing to do with the last. I don’t think I have more ideas than I can execute, it's more that I have more ideas than I do execute. I’m actually not a very ambitious person despite my insatiable curiosity, so there are many occasions where I will do nothing at all. Aside from the theories I create from whatever information/topic I have been researching, most of the ideas I present to others are to do with having fun. I often create small games using the objects we have in our environment (like playing cards or checkers pieces) on the spot, improvising the rules as we go along DnD style. I actually was invited to play DnD once with a friend group but I was something of a nightmare of a player since I would come up with completely outlandish ideas that the DM couldn’t handle. I was never invited to a session again after that.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
Being a leader isn’t tied to my self identity at all, but it does seem to be the impression other people get about me. I have been told several times that I would make a good cult leader (concerningly) and that I always seem to end up in charge of a situation. I don’t really do this on purpose but a lot of the time I am the only one who will speak up and start moving a group forward when we are in a situation that calls for it. I have been told that I am quite a diplomatic leader that makes sure people get along, have something to do and feel supported. That said, I personally don’t like telling people what they should value. I am of the belief that it is their own choice to decide that. I will however help people by telling them the actions they could take in line with those chosen values. I also think conflict is quite important and I will only try to keep the conflict civil without ending it until both parties are satisfied and have conveyed everything they wish to. This also includes conflict with me, I dislike “sweeping things under the rug”.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
I think I am. I often feel as though my entire body is under my control and I am very intune with any physical sensations. I fear being paralyzed or losing mental integrity. This is the reason I avoid dangerous and reckless behavior that could result in losing control of my mind or body. I will not partake in highly “extreme” sports such as free climbing and I will not consume any kind of drugs to an extent that it affects my mental state, including alcohol.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particularly artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forms of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
I’m not actually sure. I like writing stories and drawing, but I wouldn’t consider myself an artist. I am very interested in art and have been learning how to properly paint and create music on and off for a while now. I think it's probably similar to sports in the sense that I enjoy it but rarely choose it over another activity. I don’t really enjoy going to art museums, I find art to be subjective so interacting with it from such an objective standpoint disinterests me. A lot of my friends are artists and I support them in their endeavors.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
I don’t think about the past much unless I actively make myself do so to search for something there. I am very in tune with the present and am constantly looking out for dangers in my environment and observing people, but it's not my main way of thinking. I am almost always thinking about the future, both in terms of potential futures as well as what future I am aiming for. I have some trouble deciding on a future to aim for since all of the options seem so appealing and I don’t particularly want to close any of them off. There is a part of me that wishes I was immortal so that I could experience as much of everything as possible. This is probably also the part of me that likes stories and hearing the experiences of others since I get to understand a whole other world with its own futures in such a short amount of time.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
I will help immediately. I’m not entirely sure why but I imagine it has something to do with me enjoying solving problems, whether that problem is mine or anothers. I have largely minimized my worldly connections and needs so I often appear to “go out of my way” to help others even if it appears like it's sacrificial to myself. I don’t find it sacrificial to myself at all. I don’t need anything to be comfortable, it’s all just building upon that initial comfort as a kind of “excess” or “abundance”. I could lose everything I own tomorrow and be absolutely fine. All of this to say, I don’t sacrifice myself for others, I just help them most likely because I enjoy it. I do not consider myself a “good” person for doing this, in fact I do not really believe in the concept of good or evil at all.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
I think the fact that I immediately thought both yes and no for this question points to me not needing it. I certainly try to be logically consistent, but it's not the end of the world if I’m not. I think it's more important to me that I not be in denial about it.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
I do aim for efficiency but it’s not very important to me. While I do want to make the most of my time in this life, if I don’t feel like doing anything then I won’t. I’m comfortable with being unproductive and “lazy” for as long as I like.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
I think I’m indirectly controlling. I don’t use force to control people (at least not anymore), I’m more inclined to engineer the circumstances of a situation in a way that results in people choosing to move in one of the ways that I want them to. Nobody has told me I am controlling, nor do they seem to feel they are being controlled. I don’t really do this intentionally, it just ends up being the path that I go down based on the options I have available (perhaps I am being controlled by something as well?). I’m not sure why I do this but if I had to guess it would be to protect myself and others from being hurt, after all you can’t be hurt if the option isn’t even available.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
See activities. My topics of interest are usually to do with people, nature or technology.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
I teach myself things. I always seem to find teachers/tutors intellectually suffocating. Outside of that I take any form of information possible.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
I break tasks down instinctively. I do like to plan out the whole project before I start but I have no problem deviating from the plan and improvising if I think of something I like the sound of more. This usually results in the finished project looking very different from the plan and taking longer than it could have.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
None really. I’m content with just existing. However, in terms of what I choose to pursue it would be perfection in all fields, having all knowledge and having experienced everything, as well as transmitting this perfection to everyone else so that they stand beside me. More realistically, I’m trying to buy some land and build a community so that as many people are under my direct protection and responsibility as possible. The world has many powerful people that are looking to exploit the innocent solely for their own gain. I’m not expecting a utopia but I would hope it would be more comfortable for people to live in than the insecurity of greater society. It’s nice to think of spending the rest of my days with this small community.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
As mentioned earlier, I fear losing autonomy of my body and mind. I think I would still be comfortable in this state as I would get used to it but I actively avoid it coming to pass. I don’t think I hate anything, I don’t think in black and white. I’m not even sure I think in shades of gray, it seems more like the whole spectrum of color to me. I mentioned I don’t really believe in good or evil. In the event that someone is judged as evil by the world I can easily look at them and find just as many things people would find good. Does this make me endlessly accommodating of the actions of others? Certainly not. It’s just a matter of managing a conflict of interests, which is not something I struggle with.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
I can’t really think of anything that would fit a “high”. I think the closest thing would be my family and my friends. I’m not sure why they are what comes to mind. I mentioned before that I would be comfortable with losing everything I own since I have discarded worldly attachment, but for some reason when I think of losing people it's not such an easy answer.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
There was a time just after I had graduated high school and before I had moved out that I was highly depressed. I lacked any kind of purpose or direction in life and thought that I should have it. I also felt immense guilt over the harm I had caused throughout my school life. I believed that I should hide myself away from all life so that I never had the choice to take those actions again. It took me over a year living in this state to finally pull myself out of it. I discarded my need for a purpose or a direction and I discarded the need to be forgiven for the past so that I could live a new life. I discarded any other need that I could find as it is when a need is unmet that you enter a victim mindset, which is a mindset that I really want to avoid in me.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
I’m not attached to reality at all. I daydream very often but I do pay close attention to my surroundings while I do so. I think having extremely sensitive senses helps with this. I have quite a vibrant and detailed imaginary world.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
I would think about the same things I do as I fall asleep. In other words, I’d just daydream about hypotheticals and the future. Possibly not the future in this case as there might not be one but I imagine I’d be able to entertain myself endlessly in my head.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
I think of myself as having 3 decision makers. My rational mind, my sensory body/gut and my emotional heart. If all 3 are in agreement, I am able to make a decision very quickly. If 2 are in agreement, I will take longer to weigh up the options before I choose as often they will end up in agreement after I have thought it through. I will do the same if none are in agreement. In the event that they still can’t come to a unanimous decision I will flip a coin or roll a dice and go with the option that picks. I do this no matter how “important” the decision is.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
Apparently I don’t feel emotions in the way other people do (at least according to the people I’ve spoken to about this). I tend to recognise emotions through the bodily sensations they apply to my body, for example, I can tell if I'm angry by my body feeling hot and my jaw feeling tense. With reference to my 3 decision makers, this means I can only figure out what my heart is telling me by going through my body. In chaotic or highly sensory situations where there is not enough time or space to recognise what I am feeling, it’s as though I am not feeling any emotion at all. I tend to think they are just as important as the other 2 decision makers when deciding things, as emotions are the basis for deciding what you value. If you don’t know what you value, you can’t determine what the best actions are for you to take according to those values, which results in nihilism. I think people would be surprised to learn that I consider emotions important. I have an almost entirely inexpressive face and a monotone voice which has resulted in me being called a robot quite often. In the times that I do have an expression, it is usually fake and done to make the other person feel more comfortable.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
No. If I want to keep the conversation going then I will intentionally disagree with them to see how far they can take their opinion and understand it better. If I disagree with someone, I will inform them of my perspective. I do not wish for them to agree with me to “appease” me, although I will understand if they make that choice. I want them to inform me of their whole perspective so that I can understand it. If they can convince me after all this, then I will truly agree with them. This is not always the case though, I can imagine times that I would pretend to agree with someone, but it would have to be “worth” it.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
I don’t think rules are set in stone. If I disagree with a rule and there are no meaningful consequences, then the rule may as well not exist for me. I make no comments on others' takes on that. I will challenge authority any time I want to. Whether or not they “should” be challenged depends on what you value in an authority, but for my case the answer is yes they should be. In the event I am an authority I would want to be challenged, it would be both an opportunity to test my ability as well as to exchange information with people.

I've been called talented, gifted and intelligent, but as of today, I'm just sick and tired, and I feel like the biggest idiot in the world. I need help and last week I started going to therapy because of this.
For context, I've taken many interests through my life:

• piano
• guitar
• drumming
• violin
• trumpet
• lutherie
• carpentry
• mathematics
• chess
• frontend development
• backend development
• game development
• architecture
• salsa dancing
• skateboarding
• public speaking
• boxing
• rock climbing
• mma
• sambo
• weight lifting
• ...and more

I'm not an expert on any of those things, and I can't stop myself from bouncing from one to another, trying to find my "life purpose".
I tried starting 4 different businesses, from a pizza place to an online software engineering course, and of course none of those worked, I quit each and every one of them before even hitting the 6 month mark, and this shit is ruining my life.
I'm working a job as a developer, but each day I feel trapped and unsatisfied. Every day I see people selling food on the street, working as cashiers, working as executives solving daily company problems, and I envy them with all of my heart, how can they wake up every day doing the same thing and not feel like they're wasting their life away? how can they see the light at the end of the tunnel, feeling everything will be fine by just improving on what they're doing again and again?
I don't know if it's FOMO, i don't know if it's my 'ayurvedic' personality type. I just feel like I don't belong in this stupid fucking shit world.
I'm not good enough at any particular skill so that I could help anyone at any scale...

• I'm a 1500 elo chess.com player
• I won a silver medal for a math olympiad in my city, never went past that level
• I can set up a semi decent react/flutter + mongodb/mysql application
• I can build a chair or a table or some basic furniture
• I know how to make a ukulele
• I can probably climb a V5-V6 boulder problem at a bouldering gym
• I bench 185-195, squat 240-250, deadlift about the same
• I know how to do an ollie and kickflip but nothing else
• etc...

You can see my reddit profile where I'm playing the piano, that's about the level I'm at on most of the skills I've partaken in. Not 'bad', not good and nowhere close to remarkable.
I really don't mean to come across as arrogant, on the contrary, I feel like I'm unable to find my place on this world, I feel cursed by my inability to stick to something until I become more than decent at it, until I could actually be a professional, or maybe help other people. I don't know if I'm scared of never being able to monetize any of these skills on my own. I just run into the same problem almost every day, and of course I watch videos and distract myself in any way I can because I can't stand my life and uncertainty many times.
Have you ever had this problem? how did you get out of this?. I'm very open to suggestions.

This is gonna be an interesting one and Ill probably get a ton of hate because maybe I'm an idiot but anyways... (LONG and IN DEPTH WARNING)
Me and this girl were together for around 3 years but have known each other since before we were even teenagers as she was my sisters best friend growing up. We had hooked up a couple times in high school and both lost our v cards to each other which idk if it matters but I guess I'm going into detail on this lol.
The summer she graduated we started hooking up again. One thing led to another and from very early on we both seemed to have intense feelings and a crazy connection.
After this she went to college in the medical field and I continued to work. She wasn't far away so I would go spend weekends with her and basically anytime she had outside of being in class and studying we were either together or on facetime for hours. (So before anyone says anything about college, she did not go out and just wasn't that type of girl)
The bad part of all this which ultimately could be what go us where we are is that her parents strongly disliked me and did not approve of me so she basically wasn't allowed to see me or date me but we continued working around that.
Her parents were abusive her whole life and became "helicopter parents" which caused her a lot of trauma and she would do anything to not upset them. (They checked her location constantly and would call her all the time to check in even though she's 21, she never got in trouble and was basically an "angel child" in her fam)
During the time we were together I would say every few months she would go into this panic attack mode of feeling that she was doing the wrong thing and that we couldn't keep going (because of her parents) but every time she would say she didn't know what to do because she loved me so much but felt like she couldn't be with me and that her parents would never let it work.
Multiple times we went over a month without talking and when we would start talking again it would be like we never left and we would both be dieing to see each other as soon as we could and then the time we would finally spend together would be euphoric and we would talk about how we don't want to be apart anymore.
That only happened once or twice other than those times we just couldn't stay apart from each other. For the reason of what I thought might be "true love" which these days in this generation seems nearly impossible to find.
Around the middle of last summer she finished her school year and had started hanging out with one of her friends from our home town (This is a girl whos never had a father figure, sleeps around every weekend, was always a big drama starter and does not have any goals or ambitions) As you can tell I don't like her because of exactly those reasons and my girlfriend was the complete opposite so I thought she was a bad influence.
During this time everything was great, we were seeing each other just about every day, being intimate and everything just seemed completely normal and fine.
Until one day she was hanging out with that girl and some of that girls friends... I had called a couple times to check in on her later that day/ evening with no answer or call back as well as texted which seemed odd but didn't think much of it but then everything seemed off for the next week or so until she eventually called me and said she didn't think we should keep talking because it wont work out long term and she had felt that I was overly concerned with her where abouts and what she was doing, which did not seem like it was really coming from her because weeks before this she had literally said I should call her more and be the first one to call more...
I gave her the space she needed until she reached back out a couple weeks later saying she thought it would be good to still talk just not constantly.
A couple weeks after that she had told me she started talking to another guy who she met on tinder after that day she hung out with her hometown friend who got her to get on the app (which she initially told me was her choice but I eventually found out the girl had convinced her to get on it)
Anyways that was all about 8-9 months ago, time has gone on we still talk every single day multiple times, we have been intimate a few times. After the last time I asked her why she was still talking to the guy and she told me she didn't know why she did what she did and that it was stupid and that she would likely stop talking to him.
She also kept asking me 1. "why it was so good" and 2. "how would I describe it?" I wanted to tell her "because that's how it feels being intimate with someone you love and have an emotional connection with after going months apart" But felt it was too soon to bring those feelings back so I told her I wasn't sure and to the second that I would describe it as "intense and passionate" To which she agreed and said it was unlike anything else.
That was a few months ago.
Now, in the last month or so I've noticed her starting to be slightly distant but its in a weird way, like she still calls me about every little thing and wants to tell me about everything. I feel like (and kind of know) I'm her only emotional support but its like I cant tell if there's still more than that here or if its gone and idk what to do....
Today that guy posted a bunch of pictures for graduation and one of them was with her and she commented hearts on the picture.
To my knowledge her and this guy have hooked up a little but still haven't been intimate and a couple times she even said she feels like she doesn't want to have sex with him.
This is a girl who has been by my side through everything like me losing my mother, getting in a serious car accident where I was in a bed for months and more.
She is literally my best friend and I have never been so close or felt what I feel with her with anyone else. She just makes me feel so comfortable and at peace while with her and when we talk. We used to talk about what it would be like when we got married and the way we wanted to raise our kids. Damn has life changed..
I understand it might be time to say good bye but I want to see if there's anyone with something to help or any piece of advice.
I also feel like a bad person because my mind keeps going back and forth between the following:

1. Just trying to give up on what it was and stay there as a her friend and continue to hold my promise of always being there for her. (very hard, I still love her with all my heart and it kills me to see her potentially with someone else)
   
2. Just telling her how I feel and that if this is truly what she wants then I don't want to talk to her anymore and cutting it off.
   
3. Doing number 2 and then reaching out to the guy and telling him I've been having sex with her etc.
   

If you actually read all this and made it this far THANK YOU! , I'm truly lost as to what life has become and what I should even do in this situation, any and all suggestions are helpful and thank you again..