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this is my first time posting anything like this and i’m not sure how to start this besides just jumping straight in i’m in a fucked up situation with my long distance ex and dealing with multiple traumas at the same time. im at a point where i know i need to make some sort of change but i don’t feel worth it. with my ex, i’m very aware that she mentally and emotionally abused me and it’s as if part of my brain is being rational about it and that i need to cut her off to fully heal but the other part of me doesn’t know how to live without her or the hope of getting back together. she completely ghosted me after 4 years together(not great for the abandonment issues) and has recently come back trying to be in my life 2 years later. before she made contact id been feeling the best i had in years, i was eating n taking my meds regularly. all of the progress i made feels completely erased now and im back in the mental headspace where i would do anything to not lose her. after speaking with a friend for a while tonight i came to the realization that im clinging onto my ex so hard because i rely on her to tell me how to feel and i believe im deserving of the way she treats me but even knowing that i still find myself trying to give her another chance. im not sure how to trust myself to know what to do about anything without constant reassurance and im terrified of what will happen when i make decisions on my own so i don’t know how to move past how dependent on her ive been for the 5 years ive known her. i’ve been pretty reckless since we broke up.. careless sex, drugs, excessive spending n other alternate forms of self harm. while dealing with the loss of my partner, at the end of last year my best friend of almost 13 years decided to end our friendship n cut me off because i didn’t like her new boyfriend. losing my 2 favorite people within a year of each other gives me the impression that im the problem and i’ve lost my self worth. i’ll admit now i put myself into questionable situations. a couple days ago i was rped and i have no idea how to even process what happened i’ve been walking around like a ghost. i was previously sa’d a few years back but this time feels so different, it’s knocked me down so hard i’ve been in a dissociative state since the rpe and i feel like i shouldn’t be pitying myself bc i put myself in harms way. i feel the need to turn to my ex for support through this(which i already did, i called her the day after and we spoke for a few hours.) i’ve read a couple of posts on here about having this kind of relationship with someone and im so confused on what to do. i feel like bpd is ruining my relationships with my family n friends and ultimately ruined my relationship with my ex. i’ve experienced 2 major losses in my family this year on top of everything else and im just at a loss on where to begin processing anything with these being 2 of my first experiences with grief. i want more than anything to begin healing from the last 3 years as a whole from the abuse from my ex all the way to being r*ped three days ago but my brain shuts down and i have no control over when i feel my emotions n when i don’t. im tired of living day to day just to survive i don’t really know where to go from here i feel so hopeless. i don’t even feel like a person anymore. i guess im just kinda looking for an outsider’s view of things to tell me if ive let the bpd take complete control. i was diagnosed less than a year ago so im still struggling with managing symptoms and the shame of not feeling normal. if u made it to the end, oh damn ur so real for that n i thank u <3 pls help me im freaking out

I’ve never posted anything like this before so bear with me. My boyfriend (36 male, cancer) broke up with me(27 female Virgo) over the phone last night. We’ve never really had any arguments or disagreements, and I’m honestly not even upset that it happened even though I thought we could have a good future together. When we first started talking, I told him I was dating to marry and he was all for it, I was a little hesitant with going out with him because he had an ex wife, and I knew that may complicate things. So I brought it up and asked if he was healed from his past relationship and was ready to actually move on, and he assured me that he was. He’s been nothing but sweet and attentive to me the whole time we were together, opening doors for me, making sure I was always safe and comfortable, we’ve talked every single day since we started dating at the start of the year. But when he told me last night I just told him “it’s was fine, I’m not upset, I just felt a bit lead on and I think that I’m just confused”, I didn’t even have it in me to cry. He just kept saying that “it’s not you, it’s me” and that I deserved so much more, and how he feels stupid and regrets it. I’m not good with emotions, and I understand that mental health is complicated and everyone needs time and space to heal properly from their past, so I gave him grace and I try to be patient with things I don’t understand. He had a tattoo of her name over his heart that he had covered up so I know it was a lot deeper. He even told me that if I needed someone to talk to I can always call him, but I told him that he can’t be doing boyfriend things if he doesn’t want to be a boyfriend, and that’s just even more confusing. And then he said “it’s just hard for me because you really are a special person, and all this is just me not being whole”, and that’s what made me sad, because it suck knowing that my partner didn’t feel vulnerable enough with me to let me in so that I could try to help or to even just talk about what they were feeling. It’s was so hard not to react like Pearl from that movie just for the giggles though, like “Why are you leaving me if I didn’t do nothing wrong?! I don’t understand I thought you LIKED ME! TELL ME THE TRUTH” lol but I knew it wasn’t the time or place

My boyfriend has no trust in me and I honestly think it’s highly irrational. I don’t have any guy friends, don’t go anywhere without him knowing, and don’t even have any girl friends either. In the past I hid a xxx toy from him and when he asked about it I did lie straight to his face(said there wasn’t any) because it was so embarrassing. Since then I’ve apologized for the situation and my actions but he still distrusts me. We’ve been together for 8 years and we’re 23 now. The current problem is as follows: my car has been having problems I told my uncle to see if he could have the neighbor who is a mechanic take a look at it and run the machine. Recently my boyfriend got me an Apple Watch but I’m not used to using it. My phone had died so I went into our bedroom (where he was) and put it to charge then went back to cleaning the bathroom. My uncle told me the mechanic was here all of a sudden so I left everything (without telling my boyfriend cause i forgot) and went to grab my keys and go out to the car. Guy was the mechanic‘s son (learned everything from his dad). He put the machine thingy to the car and then he asked about going on a quick drive to see what the issue was. I drove with him as the passenger for maybe a total of 2 minutes. Drove down a road made a u turn and drove back home. I forgot that I could’ve texted my boyfriend from my watch and it was a quick thing so I didn’t think it would be such a big deal. When I got back inside the house, I promptly told him the situation and he was very upset. He says he’s not going to let me play him like a fool. That I’ve already hidden things from him and you just have to put both situations together to see I’m fully capable of cheating. I apologized for not realizing the situation would’ve hurt him and for not telling him I was going through my Apple Watch and explained since he got it for me recently I honestly forgot and didn’t think about texting him from the watch. He’s been cold to me ever since and whenever I try to hug him or anything he refuses. He’ll start yelling at me how he’s not going to be played like a fool, that he’s not like his friends ( a friend got cheated on by his best friend and wife), and that we both need to think because he doesn’t want to be in a relationship where he resents me and he doesn’t feel like he can trust me and I need to think about my actions.
I find his reaction highly extreme and it’s honestly shocking he thinks I would cheat on him because I haven’t ever given him a REAL reason to think so. It seemed irrational. Like I said. I don’t even have friends. I’m getting tired of being treated like a cheater and someone untrustworthy. Anyways, please tell me your honest opinions on the situation! Am I the a- hole?

I don’t even begin to know how to address this. We found out that he’s been sneaking cell phone pictures of them and hiding them in his hidden folder and deleting them. They’re not nudes or of them in compromising places, just of them walking about, but the focus is on their butts, or legs.
My wife and I feel awful, disgusted, angry. Angry with him, angry with ourselves, like we’ve done something wrong as parents. We’ve had so many discussions over the years either with them about boundaries in general, what’s appropriate, online and real life safety, respect. This behavior doesn’t at all jive with how we’ve raised them.
When we learned of this, we confiscated the phone. This just happened so he doesn’t know why and we haven’t spoken with him yet, he’s just off to school, but we’ll be speaking with him when he gets home.
What the fuck do we even do or say here?

My mom has had some recent issues going on as of late, specifically mental health issues. They’ve been going on since 2022, and I don’t know what to do. My family even says she needs to stop and possibly needs help.
First off, she is exceedingly paranoid. She thinks people want to kill her, thinks someone has a bounty set for her, thinks people are following and watching her, and talks about how she might have to kill someone. In addition to all of that, she thinks my dad is trying to get her killed, and she thinks my dad’s baby mother is trying to get her killed along with my dad’s baby mother’s family. I have not seen my dad in years, and he has no idea where we live. She thinks it’s one big organization conspiring and plotting against her. She also believes my aunt on our side of the family is one of her and my aunt’s daughters. She also believes my step-grandfather is part of "it.”
She thinks airplanes are following her and watching her. I even had a friend last year that she thought was part of it because he shared the same last name as my dad’s baby mother. She claims to have visions and premonitions of what’s going to "happen.” She believes she’s a prophetess and that God chose her as a messenger. She will talk to herself for hours and randomly hit herself repeatedly. She looks out the window 24/7. She is also extremely neglectful, lazy, sleeps all day, and is always on her phone instead of spending just an ounce of time with me. We have almost crashed twice because she was too busy looking at cars that she believed were following.
Anytime we go outside, she will see someone and say they are a private detective or agent. Whenever I try to tell her how I feel about anything or tell her that I am depressed, she gets mad and will eventually tell me to stop talking because people are listening. She doesn’t take me anywhere; she keeps me sheltered and in the house all the time. I was crying and had a panic attack today, and she just stood there watching me, appearing apathetic and lacking remorse. Her first instinct was to turn the bathroom fan on instead of comforting me because once again, “people are listening and the whole building can hear.” She will call our family daily and pay more attention to them and their kids than she does to me.
She slams the door, is childish, and today she literally told me she would buy me something to make me happier. She sent me money, but a while after the money, I cried for some other reason, and she caught me crying, got super pissed, told me, “I swear to God, I’m not buying you anything else,” and told me to send her the money back right now. I asked her, Do I not have a right to feel things? She got quiet and told me she was joking about sending the money back.
We will also miss important appointments for me and she will say it is because I overslept as if she’s not the adult and the parent.
She is very callous to me and will swear at me for the smallest things, and all she does is make up lies about me and say that I am gaslighting her. I ask her how I am gaslighting her because I genuinely want to know how she feels. She gets mad at me and says, forget about. Also, whenever I am okay with her and we cuddle or lay down together, she tries to rock me to sleep like I'm not fucking 15 years old?? She even told me that I was too young to get a job. I honestly don't know what to do. My family isn't any better, and they all suck. All I want to do is leave but obviously I cannot.

at this point i’m almost upset at my parents for raising me to be a considerate person because i feel like i’m naturally always thinking about my impact on my neighbors and the favor is not returned.
my roommate and i moved into a 2 bed apartment a few months ago. it’s a duplex so we only share one wall with another unit. i chose the bedroom that shares the wall with the other unit. i am massively regretting that choice.
a few days ago, our neighbor who i will call maria, starts blasting music at 12 AM. my bedroom wall is vibrating. i myself had just gotten back from a night out and wasn’t really trying to sleep that instant so it was fine. but then 1:30 AM came around. then 2:30 AM. i went over to their side of the building and knocked on the door to ask them to either shut it off or take it to their living room. they don’t answer the door. i knock about 5 more times. made a point to knock when i heard music pause or switch over so i knew they could hear me. never got her to answer.
i had no choice but to text our landlord. weirdly he responded instantly even though it was almost 3AM. he called and texted her. he also told me to call the police which i really didn’t appreciate. it says explicitly in our lease that you can’t make a bunch of noise after 10PM so he had plenty of power to do something himself. anyway, the music did stop a few moments later. but maria continued to talk at a daytime/outside talking volume with her friend. they also facetimed multiple people and shot the shit with them as if it were 4 PM and not 4 AM. absolutely ridiculous knowing that they have a living room they can call people in, that does not share any walls with our unit. literally the one place in their apartment where they need to be neighborly, they are choosing to be un-neighborly in. it’s so frustrating because taking calls in another room is naturally what i would do, knowing how thin the walls are. i wouldn’t have to be told to do that.
the next day, she starts playing music again around noon. same absurd volume as it was the prior night. she’s also going live on instagram with several people at a time, arguing, joking, freestyle rapping with them all while her shitty ass music is blasting. its a good time to mention she also considers herself a musician so she makes beats and “raps” and sings over her stuff. i know all of this because 1) she’s always talking so fucking loud and 2) our walls are so thin that i can make out every word she says.
this goes on for 6 hours. it’s insane to me that someone who just got a noise complaint would continue the same behavior not even 12 hours later. daytime or not. i lost it and connected my own speaker to my laptop and start blasting a random playlist. my roommate wasn’t home, so i left my apartment for 2 hours with the speaker still going at full volume. by the time i came back she had stopped with her music.
i thought she might have gotten a hint but i was wrong. she came home that night at 2AM and started facetiming random people and talking/laughing/squealing at normal daytime volume. again, she can do this in her living room but doesn’t for some reason. i turn on my brown noise and try to get back to sleep.
next day (this past afternoon). she’s doing her instagram live thing again but her music is significantly quieter. so i guess she understands after my turn blasting music that i’m super fucking annoyed. but she still talks to random people on speaker phone for hours. i let it go and work from my living room during the day.
and finally, tonight. she comes home at 2am and starts facetiming/talking to people on speakerphone, laughing, stomping etc. this is the THIRD night she’s generally kept me from falling asleep, and the second night she’s specifically woken me up out of my sleep with her talking. literally zero consideration for the fact that its the middle of the night when she’s on the phone, slamming her drawers closed, stomping, dropping shit on her floor.
i was raised to be conscientious of how my behavior is affecting others. maybe my mom was a bit overboard but she even trained us not to slam doors/cabinets/toilet lids. my roommate is the same. so my neighbor gets to have roommates that never make a sound while they slam shit and laugh and make terrible music into oblivion.
also lastly i want to note how this behavior has sprung up out of nowhere. she has never woken me up out of my sleep or played music this loud and for this long before, let alone for 3 days in a row. a week ago i heard her screaming in their bathroom about a man not treating her right. so to jump to a conclusion with the little context i have, she’s going through some personal shit and making my life miserable in the process.
i just need to get this out there because it’s 4:30 AM, i was sound asleep until she woke me up at 2 and talked on the phone until 3:30. i haven’t been able to get back to sleep and i’m angry as fuck about it.

Me and my partner had a clash of heads, I spewed my insecurities because I thought I wasn’t going to be enough for either me or my child resulting in a emotional outburst which was enabled by my disorders, I still feel so guilty for not having the strength then to hold it together and see the bigger picture which is the baby. It’s not like I didn’t take it seriously, however I was in two ways thinking if “I” was worth such a privilege of raising a child due to my own personal circumstances. In my own eyes, I felt like a bum with some terrible habits. I didn’t really care for my own life and really only lived for the moment. Not like that’s a bad thing, while I have my disorders and disabilities I will admit I also had a negative view in life and had a lot of negative thoughts towards myself. Because of that, it resulted in me projecting it onto someone I love dearly. 6 months onwards, I have started to work again faster being medically signed off, earned more money than I ever had in my life (and saved), cleaned up a few bad habits/learned a few skills to improve my mental health which helps to keep a open mind to whatever may happen going onwards. I had to fight myself to make all this occur, overcome my own fears, really look at myself in the mirror and change the way I thought about life as the reality is when my boy is here he’s instantly going to be a bigger priority than the small issues I’m fixating on.
I’m still learning to be calmer, I’m still learning to be resilient and most importantly I’m learning how to move forward from any mistakes I’ve made so that I can shift the focus on what REALLY matters. While I’m still afraid, anxious about if I’ve made enough progress, my devotion to raise my child in this world and to have all the resources prepared has always been the sole reason why I’ve kept myself going.
I don’t really know if I’m a good man, but as long as I’m a good father to my child, to me I think that’s enough. To my partner, I have a lot of love and respect for her carrying him, but I’m also willing to accept anything that comes after his birth. Even if it’s not idealistic, the main thing between us is him.
He will be in my life forever going forward, Idespite how it went in the beginning, I’m looking forward to taking him under my wing and walking through life beside him. I can’t wait to meet him for the first time.

hello everyone. these last few days I've been going through a lot and i thought it might be a good idea to ask for help in here.
this year i'm sharing a house with a roommate who turned out to be an immature, spoiled, childish bitch. i've been always respectful to her and i assume i have tried to be as considerate as it's humanly possible.i'm very calm and when at home, i'm usually busy studying or watching movie with a headphone or doing other silent activities. i even don't like talking over the phone that much and at times that i'm obliged to use it, i lower my tone as much as i can. also, as i brought almost 90% of the furniture and the apartment was basically furnished when she arrived, and i agreed her to take the best room.i never even mentioned all the favors I did and I really regret what i did, because none of these roomie-pleasing acts paid off.if anything, she became more controlling and rude.she had talked to me in an offensive manner two times before this but i hadn't said anything in response and had suppressed my anger in order to avoid conflict( classic trauma response, right?).ten days ago i invited my sister over( and i hadnt invited anyone before this) and she traveled hundreds of miles to come and see me. i had done it with her permission and she said it's alright for my sister to come and stay. so she came and stayed a couple of days and we were mostly hanging out outside and we just came back at night to sleep in my own room.she was acting alright in the first 2 days, then she started to act in a passive-aggressive manner –she slammed the door as soon as she heard us preparing the table or quietly laughing, she avoided us each time we were in the living room and would sneakily jump out of her room to use the bathroom or toilet as soon as we moved into my room. she had done this before during the last semester's finals, too. but this time it had got way more obvious and way more aggressive. after my sister left, she quitted even looking at me or saying hi to me when she saw me.( she had done this before too, but i had convinced myself not to take it to the heart specially as she got friendly with me again after the finals were over! she's such an unstable player.) last day she wrote me a scroll on telegram and as hard as she tried to seem cultured and civilized, she just oozed out even more controlling shit.it was the juice of her message: ''don't use the living room for studying. only use it for going to the kitchen or to the toilet, because i feel uncomfortable doing cooking and shit when someone's in there reading.'' i answered that i'm well-aware that living room might be distracting at times, but i'm not bothered by the sound of her doing her stuff and she doesnt need to worry about it and she can also freely use it. but then she started to argue with me saying ''living room is not for studying'' and weeping over her victim complex ''noooo, i'm not comfortable,you MUST go to your room just like i've tolerated you reading now you must act to my desire''. this time finally i became furious and assertively talked to her that it's her problem that she doesn't want to see me AT ALL and for this irrational demand, i would not have any more compliance. i'm silent as a rabbit, not making a fucking noise and really dont occupy much area in a 80 m² living room!! if she wants to use it as well, she's welcomed, but she can't command me to stay prisoned inside my small gloomy room without no proper light. interesting part is that she even doesnt prefer to study in the living room and all she's mad about is she cant use it for toilet and kitchen without coming to see me staying in there. although my whole body was trembling with rage ( and simultaneously with fear of a conflict or a loud argument) i managed to be assertive and talk my words.then she left me unread, although i'm quite sure she's read it.
now although i've come out ratherstrongly, whenever i use the living room, every moment of being there feels like torture.the silence in the living room feels like a ticking bomb that might explode in any minute. i'm anxious af and i have endless ruminations about how she might just walk out of the door and snap at me.she still continues slamming the door and walking thumpering her feet on the ground.also, i know it's very unlikely, but my mind constantly jumps to the possibility of being attacked or she getting physical with me. i'm very sensitive to loud noises and arguments. i try to avoid them as much as i can. i get this semi-panic attack feeling whenever even two strangers argue with eachother. i know me keeping using the living room to my desire will serve her right and will bring me back some power over the household affairs, but i can barely even concentrate this way; while i rigidly sit there, my muscles tense as rock and i hear my hear ponding.
so, i appreciate your advice: do you think i'd better fight or flight? regarding that my finals are arriving in 10 days or so...
P.S: special thanks to you ma' for the perfect upbringing and all that dreadful childhood days you would shout at me – your voice's still ringing in my ears and although you encourage me to stand for my rights, i always fail because i've always been on the lower end of the power imbalance seasaw. i never dared disagreeing with you, now how you expect me to be magically a brave person who can disagree when she's not pleased?

Hello! I feel like I might be reaching my limits with this game - would really appreciate some gentle hints! I want to keep trying but I'm just completely stuck now..! 😭
I've just finished collecting all the eggs without hints today, proud of that :D But the rest escapes me... I've had just a glance at the posts here and HELLO? There's so much more I'm still missing - like what on earth is that neon paint I've seen in some posts... This is why I'm here, I don't wanna spoil too much for myself by just browsing so I'd rather ask..!
PLEASE don't give me direct answers, hints are so much better! :')
Endgame spoilers below! I kept any pictures further down in the thread but beware - couldn't figure out how to spoilertag pictures.
I have: Beat the boss manticore, got the multi-bubble wand, got the remote, hamster wheel, bouncy ball, (among all the easy to find things like frisbee, slinky etc.) and found 2 secret rabbits - the one disguised as a duck with the flute code, and the one at the beginning of the map, on the ledge. I've also check-marked every single room in the map that I could access, after trying my best to thoroughly check if there's anything at all that stands out to me..! These are the things I've found but can't understand:

1. I've put the 65th egg in the incubator - needless to say the manticore respawning is not the reward I wanted or expected, not the horrors again!! 😭 I can't save with phones while it's following me, so it must be that I have to take it somewhere... But I can't figure out where. I tried the big 3d ring thing behind my house. I've tried the dog/wolf spirit to see if they'll fight each other. Tried the cave bear, tried the big bat (later realised I can scare it off with multiple firecrackers, that took me way too long lol), I've also noticed the manticore-coded chained boxes (like the dog and mouse ones) in that final stretch of the map, the hidden ones behind some breakable tiles? But the hamster wheel platform next to them let me move them, so I assumed it's a metaphor that I'm the manticore..? Idk. (I've seen the me/seedling-coded boxes too, I think that's where one of the secret rabbits was, which is why the manticore-coded boxes are throwing me off...) Couldn't do anything there with the manticore though... I've also taken it to the flower I/my little guy/the seedling (idk what it is tbh) was born from, the lynx/cat mama, the eggs bird... No clue what else to try 😭
2. There's a circular recess I couldn't figure out - I understood the kangaroo one, it has firecracker flowers growing next to it, but what do I do with the fish one? All I can see is fish pointing up with sparkly eyes. I've tried giving the bubble fish the ball to play with, I've tried figuring out if that dolphin(?) is giving me some sort of flute code but it didn't look like it, didn't seem like I could use anything for the seahorse either, really no clue where to get the key for the fish circular recess.
3. I was given a stopwatch after the first manticore, but I can't see it in my inventory and have no idea what it's for... Is this something I shouldn't worry about for now?
4. I've noticed the stone pillars? Runestones? Those little stone thingies in the backgrounds all over the map that have a symbol from the map-markers at the top, and 1-5 dots at the bottom. I've been noting them down, but please tell me if I'm on the right track - does the game expect me to use the correct map-marker icons for each stone I found and mark them on the map with that specific symbol, 5 of each? I've only used flame icons to mark them initially cause I was using other symbols for other things, but now with most of the map filled out I could make do without them. But I don't want to walk around the whole map again marking them off if I'm completely off-base here. Not a clue what they're for.
5. Is there a point to putting the M. disc back down below? I'm surprised I can take it out of the shrine and re-summon the dog/wolf spirit, that's sus. Can it be taken anywhere else? I thought this would have been the circular recess thing but nope :/ Now it's just sitting in the bottom shrine.
6. Is the monkey with baby monkey throwing rocks at me just a decoration/flavour? Suspicious!
7. That bear that retreats to the cave - decoration, or something? I've tried using everything in my inventory on it... Suspicious!
8. WHERE IS THE LAST MATCH STICK!!! I get a feeling that I should be able to finally get through glass if I light the last candle, but I haven't been able to find the last match stick! 😭 I have some areas with no other access than through glass marked off to visit, I just know it'll let me go through glass at some point and I'm heavily leaning towards candle completion... But WHERE IS THAT DAMN MATCH STICK 😭
9. Giraffe statue right before the room with a couple of guards... Is it anything? Seems like a big and significant statue for just flavour, but I haven't even seen giraffes in the game... Suspicious!
10. Statue of three green penguins just before the water domain - anything there? Suspicious!
11. Another thing I saw in someone else's post was warp codes...plural?? I immediately got the home warp code which takes you where all the teleports are, from the fish "singing" below, that felt great and reminded me of my fav game, Tunic ;W; 💖 But where on earth are people getting the other ones from??
12. There's a room full of crows not far from where the duck-secret-rabbit faces flute code is. Initially I actually thought the code was for them because of the bird in the picture next to the face codes... What do I do with those crows, if anything? There's a lot of them sitting on 4 separate branches/shelves - I've tried playing multiple versions of flute notes, like how many crows are on each branch, didn't get anywhere.
13. There's a tiny grid hidden under the LED bunny neon sign area... A 4x4 grid with 1-4 dots on each side. Absolutely not a clue what this is, man, not even a single thought.
14. Is this anything? I noticed the other savegame icons have slightly different seeds, like these, but... surely I'm not expected to make more savegames?

https://preview.redd.it/l8w2348sad0d1.png?width=659&format=png&auto=webp&s=f3655b37390980343805b592f85efb64f0cfd54f

1. The skull pile blocking a chest, where the faces flute code is explained. Threw everything I had at it. Tried playing flute notes depending on which way the skulls are facing. Nada. That chest is taunting me.
   
2. There are two remote-controllable walls in this spot, but no remote control tower... It's in the other room, but that's not helpful. I can't access it from that room on the right either cause it's just a wall. How do I get in there??
   

https://preview.redd.it/alcu806fcd0d1.png?width=149&format=png&auto=webp&s=ae25379d1da96ad325db3d8e6d577841678a0892
no remote tower in this room (left)
wall in this one, but has remote tower (right)

1. Two questions about the below: is the big garden pot just a decoration? And what I've circled in particular - I noticed the exact same thing next to the duck-secret-rabbit... Am I looking into it too much? It feels like nothing in this game is accidental, so I'm always sus... :')

https://preview.redd.it/dzrk8qi7ed0d1.png?width=549&format=png&auto=webp&s=c6a32fee5817407996f5973e04d0f858ce6cadb0

1. Are the pillars here a flute code? Same for the ones in the turtle room - initially I started playing the flute to play numbers corresponding to how tall each pillar is, but the turtles just came out as soon as I started playing, and didn't seem to react to me playing anything specific. What about here? Do I need to write down a sequence of them from the leftmost shore and play the full thing?

https://preview.redd.it/m4kke7llfd0d1.png?width=889&format=png&auto=webp&s=fee28b1392967c6c670b6a39bb289e7234435eac

1. I have some sort of a key in my bag. Can't remember where I got it... No clue what it's for, or if I've used it before..!

https://preview.redd.it/fdh00vg8gd0d1.png?width=591&format=png&auto=webp&s=b4a23f63962c3d93767a32d0c5f4466b0029822c

1. I'm sure the huge clock behind my house is meant to do something, it has doors and all... But no clue. I was there on the hour and just saw the little bird come out, (feels like there's some sort of purpose to time, but I haven't picked up on anything yet, initially thought that's when the kangaroo switches areas...) and I can see there's a few "000"s above the doors... That's about it... The only thought so far is that maybe characters from other savegames can come through here, but that seems VERY far-fetched, and not sure what purpose that would have... I also feel like I'm too early to figure out the clock, and the big 3d ring, before figuring out the rest. Should I not worry about it for now?

I... think that's it??? Sorry for the wall of text, if I can get some gentle hints on any of these I'd be grateful - I'll come back and edit the post to strike out what I've figured out, if anything. I know people on the Tunic sub like helping each other out with hints, feels like this game should have a very similar crowd, by the looks of it :D
THANKS IN ADVANCE! ♥

I was tricked for about a month by a very sophisticated catfish and I’m dying to find the truth behind who was talking to me. Something really confusing me is, the person texted me from what appears to be an iPhone. The messages are blue and show “delivered”, until I was blocked and then they showed up as “Sent as Text Message”. In my search for the truth, I tried finding their Apple ID associated with their number because maybe their name is in the email, so I went through the reset option on iCloud, and I received a message saying “Cannot Reset Password. This Apple ID is not valid or not supported.” Can someone send an iMessage from a fake number?
I used every reverse phone number lookup that exists and I found 4 different people who could possibly own the number. This makes me believe it’s possible it wasn’t even a real number. I didn’t think you could fake iMessage, but I also didn’t think you could fake Snapchats and this person found a way. They sent photos on snap that were not in the chat, and through a reverse image search from photos sent to me over text & on Bumble, I found the real person whose photos were being used who actually lives in a state across the country.
I was fresh off of a rough breakup and a little more gullible than usual I suppose. The person who catfished me wasted my time by scheduling specific times to meet me, then ghosted me when it came time, followed by a text back 4-5 hours later with outrageous excuses. Three I received were - “my grandma fell and hit her head, we’re in the ER. She passed around 2am”, followed by “my ex showed up to my house and now we’re at the police station”, followed by “my mom has MS and needed my help today”. All of these were HOURS after I had gotten ready, and was about to walk out the door based on specific plans we made. This person made me like them and I felt excited about meeting them, so I’m annoyed that I was tricked and lied to.
Knowing the truth of who was messaging me could really give me some peace of mind. Help me out Reddit!
P.S - I’ve gone full investigator at this point and have looked up reverse image searches, reverse phone number searches, downloaded metadata from the photos they sent, etc. so I feel like I’m close to the truth, but still so far away. Not sure if I want to share the number or specific details publicly, could that get me in legal trouble?

Camp Half-Blood Official Camper Entry Report #JDB7YC
First report is based on initial interviews with Camp Half-Blood staff. NOT FOR CAMPER VIEWING.

Name	Age	D.O.B	Height	Weight	Hair	Eyes	Parentage
Isaac Sheppard	16	August 16th	5'10"	109kg	Chestnut	Hazel-Green	Heracles

Origin
Camper Isaac Sheppard, preferably referred to as 'Shepard' simply has detailed his younger years of upbringing as more typical of what we consider mortal activities. Unaware of his lineage, he was raised by his mother, Jennifer Sheppard, in the boroughs of Hartfort, Conneticut without recorded incident. Shepard hinted towards his mother knowing more but quickly halted further questioning, insisting that she wouldn't have hidden facts from him. Shepard dictated mortal schooling had no outstanding events save his performance in physical sports. Regular disciplining regarding a laxidase attitude at any sports, despite exemplary performance in nearly every field. Shepard stated the only one he liked the sound of was archery but the school's facilities did not support this outside of occasional yearly excursions to more advanced facilities.
Satyr Protector Member 38821 was tasked with investigating a phoned-in anonymous report submitted to Camp Half-Blood of a teenager presenting with physical strength exceeding that of even typical demigods. Whilst this tip-off left no further detailing beyond the city of Hartford and to look for excessive physical capabilities, the suspected caller is believed to be Jennifer Sheppard. Protector 38821 was able to determine Isaac's school and infiltrate his class in order to breach the topic of introducing him to the reality of being a son of the god Heracles. Days later, Hartford Police Department reported arson at the home address of Isaac and Jennifer Sheppard. Isaac presented statements of 'scaled individuals' fleeing the scene but mortal services dismissed these as distressed claims of a teenager in shock of losing his mother. Protector 38821 was able to retrieve Shepard from intervening social services and was in the process of transporting them both to camp via train when they both came into contact with individuals described by Shepard as 'guys but with these glowing eyes and armoured...or metal?'. For reporting's sake, contact is assumed to be hostile automata of origin unknown.
Protector 38821 and Shepard were able to reach Long Island whilst under extended assault from these automata, roughly 7 hours later according to statements from Shepard though accuracy of these estimates is lowered due to stress and high fatigue from protecting both himself and Protector 38821. Shepard openly admits that without the help of campers from Camp Half-Blood, he would not have survived the final stint to camp boundaries and his fate would have matched that of Protector 38821.
Powers:

• Legendary Strength AKA 'Unstoppable Force' [Minor]

Isaac displays one of the highest levels of strength and stamina known of half-bloods. He has been recorded being able to lift up to 600 lbs. (or 272.16 kg) and can punch through concrete. Thankfully Isaac is aware of this and seems to have been informed of this by his mother for a significant portion of his life and can control this, despite not knowing of his bloodline.

• Electrical Resistance [Minor]

First displayed during Shepard's extraction to camp, he shows a resistance to the harmful effects of electrical attacks such to a degree that he is able to withstand badly interacting with small appliances.

• X [Minor]

Shepared has yet to display any further abilities. We do not yet know if this is an intentional action of obscuring them or whether Shepard simpy does not have any more abilities.

• Herculean Fortitude AKA 'Immovable Object' [Major]

Isaac possesses a complete immunity to mental and emotional power. This includes reading his mental or emotional state. Those who attempt to influence or read his mental state report the sensation of attempting to read a blank slate, an immutable, unreadable presence some have found disconcerting. His presence/location can still be detected by these powers if a user were to attempt to locate him via these abilities. As a side-effect of these powers, he cannot be positively influenced or 'buffed' by other powers, excluding healing magic.

• Summon Weapon [Domain]

Shepard is capable of summoning a weapon related to his godly parent, though his personal experiences have shaped the typical club that his siblings are capable of spawning into something a bit...scrappier. Whilst not as lethal as a Celestial Bronze weapon, the makeshift maul is entirely capable of lethal strikes when fuelled by Shepard's enhanced strength.

• Alternate Vision [Domain]

Beginner Tier - Shepard describes this as an overlaid indicator in the form of a customisable crosshair over his own field of view that will show Shepard where an arrow will land if it is loosed at his current draw and aim. By drawing the string further and aim differently, so too will the indicator adjust. Shepard has determined quickly that this does not work with melee or thrown items.
Intermediate level - Shepard partially draws strength from his grandfather’s domain here, completely unable to control the winds beyond the air in his lungs but he can observe them. When the HUD is up, he can determine wind-speed and direction, as well as how that will impact his shot with the aiming indicator being able to now compensate for wind.
Master tier - As Shepard masters this power over time, judging distance, aim, and after regular usage, he is able to use the HUD as a range finder to within a metre's precision.

• Enhanced Skill Proficiency [Domain]

Isaac shows a increased proficiency in physical activities when he wishes to put the effort in in, particularly those that Heracles was renowned for such as wrestling, fighting, archery, and overall shows of strength.

Personality
Shepard's time at camp is only just beginning, with a greater report on his tendencies and personality still pending until he has shown his hand and can be interacted with. First impressions are guarded, the boy still getting to grips with this introduction of a new reality. Perhaps we may be able to discern more once he has completed what we believe to be a more introspective assessment, determining who he is in Camp Half-Blood and how demigods fit into what is to him, a new world.
Notes

• No discernible reason behind the dismissal of his first name, 'Shepard' simply being a misspelling of his last name that he has stuck with.
  
• Shepard appears to enjoy what he calls 'tinkering', idle adjustment and construction of functionless trinkets or pieces from mechanical parts. Notions of some kind of link to Hephaestus have been dismissed but camp officials may wish to nudge him towards campers with a proclivity of crafting to engage in Shepard's curiosity or ease any initial worries about joining camp
  
• Be on watch for any conflicts regarding possessions, as Shepard's rushed retrieval has meant he has arrived at camp with only the clothes on his back. Initial talks with him have shown he is very protective of his 'home clothes'. Whilst he has taken to camp clothing without incident, Shepard may be harbouring thoughts of loss beyond just his mother.
  

End report. Begin report JDB36T on camper activities.

But the full tale of Shepard is a story we'll hear later. For now, we cut to the boy himself...
Shepard stood out in the open, placing himself accidentally at the centre of camp with his back to the Big House. His two saviours had to depart to carry on with their own business and so the clueless teen turned slowly to attempt to take in the enormity of where he stood, and what that meant for his tomorrow. Hopefully someone noticed the kid not in camp clothes, scratching his head and epitomising the term 'paralysed in indecision', and could offer kind words. Or even better, directions to the bathroom?

https://www.reddit.com/sugarlifestyleforum/s/AIkX0trKxX
Not sharing this for any specific reason, just a funny story that I have no one to share with
Tl;dr met with a POT we had amazing personal chemistry, but horrible sexual chemistry. Ended up with a friend rather than a SB
Story time: I posted about this POT a week ago, saying that its very annoying how after we moved to whatsapp she became fully unresponsive. A few days later she texts me that her phone wasn’t working which is why she wasn’t replying. I initially called BS but rolled with it anyway because she had become responsive so it was fine. We try to setup a date but it didn’t work out initially
A few days later I went on a solo wellness retreat in a resort an hour outside the city, spent the first night alone, then out of boredom decided to ask her if she’d join, fully expecting her to say no. Surprisingly she was totally game (later I kept joking about how she has zero regards for her own safety and she admitted that in retrospect it was dumb of her to do that)
I book her a separate room and send her uber money to come, then pick her up off the closest spot since its a private compound and ubers have no access. Right off the bat we hit it off amazingly and were really enjoying each other’s company. We check her in, she goes to her room to freshen up and get ready while I go lounge by the pool for a bit. She texts me “sorry its taking me long, just getting ready for you” accompanied by one of the sexiest spicy pics Ive ever received which got me really excited. We lounge by the pool, have dinner and hang out for a bit, and the conversation is flowing amazingly.
Then we head to my room, we start playing around for a bit nothing too serious, then she says shes kinda sleepy so she’ll rest a bit so we can have fun later. So we turn on a movie and just cuddle and she falls asleep.
A bit of backstory, we’re in a conservative middle eastern country where pre martial sex is kinda prohibited in resorts. A lot of places turn a blind eye, and I got the vibe from this place that they were chill, but boy was I wrong. 10 mins after she falls asleep someone bangs on the door, asking me to accompany them to the lobby. They say the cameras saw her stepping into my room 50 minutes ago and someone heard us fooling around, and we have to check out rn or theyll get the cops involved ( the legal side of this is a bit hazy, but I didnt want to cause a scene). Mind you, its 10 pm and were an hour outside the city in the middle of nowhere. I try to rationalize with the manager for a bit including hinting at money but he wasnt having it and he said we have to check out right now and that we’re both blacklisted from coming back (shame, I really liked the place before they turned out to be cockblocks)
Anyway we leave, try to find a last minute airbnb, drive for an hour till its ready, we have to enter separately (again conservative state) so a lot of drama was involved. We finally get to the room and we can’t wait any longer, we start going at each other instantly. Midway through I realize.. this is not doing anything.. for either of us. We tried different things, different positions, everything, the sex was just not sexing.. We rest a bit try again but by then we had already lost it and neither of us was really into it. We cuddle and sleep (the cuddling was great tbh but not really looking for a cuddle buddy). We wake up the next day, head to the shower, try to get it on a bit, again nothing. So we finally talk about it (I tried to get her to talk about it the previous night but she didnt want to), I end up giving her oral for a bit (I told her that Ive been told I give good head, but she said she didnt enjoy, the next day she asked me to). She seemed to enjoy it, or fake it, not entirely sure. Then we hang out for a bit then I drive her home, we stop for coffee on the way and again the conversation is amazing like constant laughing and relating to each other etc
We had agreed on PPM as a concept but she was too shy to name a number, so on my drive back home she says that even though the night was rocky she would still appreciate if I could help her out. I reply I was definitely gonna send her and asked again if she had a number in mind. She says no and I go with a mid range number to which she says is more than enough and shes really pleased with. We agreed that we would like to see each other again but definitely outside the bedroom. So no go on the SR but at least i made a friend

I'm using a throwaway account as I don't really people currently in my life to know this.
I (30MtF) left my wife (27F, let's call her D) two years ago. The divorce was finalized about two months ago, and I wish I could go back.
I met D eight years ago, while I was homeless. She and her family helped me get a job and my first apartment, she always showed me an incredible amount of love and support, and she was absolutely wonderful in so many ways. But D was also an evangelical Christian and incredibly transphobic and homophobic. I found this out shortly after we met. At the time, I knew I was trans, bisexual, and I was a pagan. I probably should have walked away then.
Unfortunately, due to an incredible amount of trauma in my childhood and adolescence, I have a tendency to develop new versions of myself for those I'm around. The "me" that took over my life during this time decided "he" was a cisgender, bisexual man who refused to "act on" his "sinful" desires after becoming a Christian. Still, early on that "me" didn't have as strong of a hold.
Once, when we'd been dating for a few months, we were hanging out with a friend who showed us Rocky Horror Picture Show for the first time. Neither of us really had any idea what it was about. We watched it, and we were both incredibly uncomfortable for entirely different reasons. She brought me to work (I worked overnights at this time) and then while I was at work we fought over text and nearly broke up because of this damn movie. I didn't like it because it seemed fairly transphobic to me, especially when Dr. Frank-N-Furter raped the guests. (I now recognize this movie has a big place in queer culture but I still can't help but see it as kind of offensive.) D thought it was disgusting that the movie even included a trans character.
Eventually the "me" that had formed to be who she wanted me to be took over full-time and committed to stay with her and fight the "urge to sin." We dated for a few years and then got married. And honestly, this feels like one of the best times in my life sometimes, even though I know I was miserable.
I've always looked fairly feminine, and had fairly long hair and a pretty alternative style that often included makeup. I'd get "mistaken" for a girl pretty frequently when we were out, which only increased when she got me a super cute coffin-shaped purse for an anniversary. She'd always get super upset and defensive on my behalf, which hurt but she couldn't know it.
Sometimes during our marriage, she was reading an article about some state or another not accepting the "trans panic defense" and started ranting about it. I knew what she was talking about but on the off chance I was wrong I asked her to elaborate. She said it was when a trans person comes into the bathroom or hits on you and you assault or kill them because you panic. I tried to calmly explain that I thought it was good that wasn't being accepted because you shouldn't be assaulting or killing people regardless of whether they're trans or not, and it sounded like just a way to hurt trans people and get away with it. She came up with this wild argument and I just let her "win" because I didn't want to lose her. But I never felt fully safe with her again.
She liked it when I wore makeup, and once her sister told me she liked how I was a "man who was secure in his femininity but didn't feel like I needed to be a woman." (This was literally a month before I left to transition.) D agreed with her sister.
Around four years ago made a new friend at work, a nonbinary person I'll call S, who invited me to play DnD with them and their husband (a trans man) when they quit that job. By the time we'd bee playing for about six months, being around other trans people had reawakened the other parts of me, the parts that were closer to who I really am. I re-realized I was trans through our time together, and they started encouraging me to leave her and be my authentic self.
I left D about four months before our five-year wedding anniversary. She had gone through my phone, found messages between me and S about plans for me leaving and my being trans, and confronted me while I was in the shower. I quickly finished my shower and got out, had a six hour long conversation with her about this and tried to get her to understand. Eventually she just said "But you're not a woman and you never will be!" Without a word, I gathered up some essentials and left for S's house. S and I went back to that house while she was at church on Sunday and grabbed everything I owned, and then went to her mom's house to do the same. D and her whole family were there so I was trying to avoid questions and begging and pleading and crying from not only D, but her mom, sister, and brother to stay and give this trans thing up. I told D that if she wanted me to stay, I'd be staying as her wife and she'd have to accept that. She couldn't. I left.
Over the next couple months we spent a lot of time talking. D was trying to convince me to come back, to fall in love with her again. But I hadn't stopped loving her, I'd just gotten sick of hating myself. I told her that. I told her I wanted nothing more than to come back, but I couldn't do it if it meant going back to wanting to die every time I saw myself in the mirror and hating her briefly every time she "corrected" someone on my gender. I told her if she wanted me back, she'd need to support me in my transition. She still couldn't do it.
The last straw was when Michael Knowles called for the eradication of "transgenderism" (trans people). With that and the hundreds of anti-trans bills being introduced, I was scared. I texted D for comfort and instead got into a whole big argument with her. She kept trying to say the anti-trans bills were a good thing, and when I brought up the Michael Knowles thing she said she'd watched that speech and agreed with him. She said eradicating "transgenderism" would be a good thing. I sent her back a long text about the definition of genocide and how you can't separate "transgenderism" from transgender people, and eradicating "transgenderism" would require eradicating transgender people. We never talked again except about our divorce.
The thing that gets me though is that she's always been very anti-racist and speaks out against prejudice of most other kinds. She just never got it through her head that the same reasons she felt so strongly about that are why she should accept LGBTQIA+ people.
Now, it's been about two years since I left her. I have been on hormones for over a year, and I've never been happier with myself. These two years have been absolute hell in other ways. I have no stability, I lost my job, I've lost friends and family and all kinds of other traumatizing events that would make this post a literal novel. I've been suicidal in the past over stuff a lot smaller than this, but now, in the face of almost overwhelming and crushing despair, I'm still nowhere near that point again. I love myself. I am, for the first time in my life, living for myself.
I now have three wonderful partners (polyamory, they are all fully aware and consent, one of them has four other partners of their own) who love and accept me for who I am, and I love them all so much.
And yet. Despite all of that. Despite the pain D caused me, I still love her. I think I always will. And lately, it seems like all I can think of is the good times. And there were so many good times... I wish I could go back. I want her to love me again. And if she texted me tonight and told me she accepted me, I don't know if I could stay away. And this love I still feel... It's the most painful thing of all.

Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, Gratitude to Master Jun Hong Lu.
Respected fellow Buddhists, do you know what's worse than death? Have you ever escaped death? Today, I have a firsthand experience of escaping death to share with you.
Have you heard of a disease called myasthenia gravis (MG)? I believe many people have not. As only about 30,000 people worldwide suffer from this disease (Note: This figure may vary as there are differing estimates, with the United States alone having approximately 36,000 to 60,000 cases), where the nerves cannot control the muscles. For example, if the affected area is the hand, it can feel pain, heat, cold, and pressure. But no matter how much you command your hand to move, it won't budge. I am one of those 30,000 people. The affected areas include the cheeks, mouth, left arm, and the chest muscles responsible for breathing. In other words, during an episode of the disease, I cannot breathe. Can you now imagine how close I was to death?
Back to my story. In mid-September 2012, my lungs were infected with bacteria, and I fell seriously ill. On the night of September 29th, my breathing became increasingly difficult, and my family rushed me to the hospital for emergency treatment. The next night, my condition deteriorated to the point of MG, and my breathing became so weak that it was almost cut off. The doctors once again performed emergency procedures for me, eventually placing me on life support system (LSS) and transferring me to the intensive care unit (ICU). The so-called LSS involved many instruments strapped to my body and several tubes inserted into my body. Although the areas where the tubes were inserted were very painful, I dared not move for fear that any loosening of the instruments might endanger my life. So, at that moment, I didn't dare to move at all.
One night, a nurse attempted to draw blood for examination, but the needle just couldn't find the right artery. She would try once, then pull out the needle, try again, and repeat this process several times. I was in excruciating pain, but because my body was encased in instruments, I couldn't move. Finally, I couldn't help but ask myself in my heart, what did I do wrong? Why must I endure all this? I've never harmed anyone, never wronged anyone, so why me?
At that time, I didn't understand Buddhism, nor did I know anything about making vows. But the pain drove me, someone who barely recognized a few Chinese characters despite being educated in English, to silently call out the name of Guan Yin Bodhisattva in my heart, begging her to save me from this sea of suffering. A few days later, my condition improved. The doctors removed my LSS, and I was transferred from the ICU to a regular ward. I thought I would soon be discharged and return to my previous life, believing that everything was almost over. I felt very happy!
Looking back now, I realize how ignorant and selfish I was at that time, even as I began to recover. I was only thinking about my own survival and never cared about other people who were suffering like me. Perhaps it was because of this that I received a retribution. On the same evening that I was transferred to the regular ward, I suddenly had difficulty breathing again, couldn't make any sound, and my whole body was immobilized. I could only use my eyes and hands to draw attention, making small gestures with my hand to communicate.
A nurse noticed and called a doctor from the floor. Surprisingly, after glancing at the readings on the instruments, the doctor told the nurse that my heartbeat and breathing were normal, and then left. Once again, I tried my best to attract the attention of those around me. Thanks to the blessings of the Bodhisattva, another doctor passing by noticed me and observed that something was not right with my condition. He/She called back the previous doctor and urged him to conduct a detailed examination. While they were debating whether I was normal or not, I was almost breathless, mentally giving up on life.
The readings on the instruments once again sounded the alarm. Luckily, with both doctors nearby, they were able to save me at the fastest speed possible. The next day, I woke up in the familiar ICU, with the life support system back on me. Through this rollercoaster of emotions, I finally understood that the suffering I endured stemmed from the ignorance and folly accumulated since my birth, perhaps not just in this lifetime, but through countless past lives. Now, I must face the consequences.
I once again prayed to Guan Yin Bodhisattva and made a vow to her: "Guan Yin Bodhisattva, I believe that every soul, before they pass away, experiences a lot of suffering, and their pain is surely no less than what I am enduring now. I implore Guan Yin Bodhisattva to save me from all this suffering. I am willing to be a vegetarian for the rest of my life."
Whether you believe it or not is up to you. Two days after making this vow to Guan Yin Bodhisattva to be a lifelong vegetarian, my lung infection showed significant improvement, and I was subsequently transferred to a regular ward. Perhaps it was destined. Not only did I start to follow a vegetarian diet, but my parents also understood at the same time that my illness was beyond the control of doctors and only the Bodhisattva could save me. At that time, our entire family had just begun to explore Buddhism.
Every day, my mother devoutly chanted the name of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, while my father recited the Heart Sutra for me diligently.
However, our ordeal was not yet over. One night, I once again experienced difficulty breathing and had to be placed on the LSS for the third time.
I saw my parents kneeling down, praying to the deities and Bodhisattvas to bless me with a safe recovery. They had knelt before doctors before, but this time, seeing them kneel again went beyond what I could bear. I didn't want my parents to kneel for me. Witnessing them kneel deeply wounded me. As a 19-year-old young man, I should be taking care of my parents, yet why were my parents, who were over 50 years old, kneeling for me?
Three times being placed on LSS and admitted to the ICU, followed by three instances of improvement, resulted in my transfer to a regular ward. It was three months later, after my extended hospital stay, that I finally got discharged and returned home. I am deeply grateful for the blessings of the Bodhisattva. Instead of weakening our faith in Buddhism, this series of challenges only deepened our belief in the principles of karma and karmic obstacles as explanations for my condition. After leaving the hospital, my family and I continued to immerse ourselves in the teachings of Buddhism. Grateful for the blessings of the Bodhisattva!
One day, my family and I went to a vegetarian restaurant near our home and discovered Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door. Excitedly, I immediately went online when I returned home and downloaded several Buddhist scriptures in English phonetics from the Guan Yin Citta website to start reciting. Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door truly works wonders. That very night after reciting the Buddhist scriptures, I dreamt that while reciting the Great Compassion Mantra on the balcony at home, the image of Guan Yin Bodhisattva appeared in the clouds.
However, the next day after waking up, I felt a headache and drowsiness when reciting scriptures. My family and I took the liberty of contacting the Guan Yin Citta fellowship in Kuala Lumpur. The Buddhist practitioner who answered the call instructed us to come to the fellowship to recite scriptures. One day, while reciting scriptures at the fellowship, I experienced severe headaches. At that time, everyone was busy preparing for a Dharma conference, and the venue was crowded. I am grateful to the practitioner who cleared some space for me to lie down and gathered many fellow practitioners present to recite scriptures for me.
Later, the practitioner explained that my headaches were messages from the karmic creditors and taught me about releasing lives, making vows, and the importance of Little Houses for eliminating karmic obstacles. I immediately arranged to release thousands of fish. Today, my family still insists on releasing lives for me on the first and fifteenth day of every lunar month.
Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door is truly a miraculous practice. Ever since I began reciting Little Houses under the guidance of the fellow practitioner, I have experienced continuous dreams. On the first night, I dreamt of a seven-story-tall Buddha statue with many people practicing beneath it. Just two weeks later, after memorizing the Great Compassion Mantra, I dreamt of the Dharmakaya of Bodhisattva and two Dharma protectors driving me around in a car. Even more wonderfully, two months later, after memorizing the Eighty-Eight Buddhas Great Repentance, I dreamt of myself having tea with Master Lu.
Most importantly, after continuing to release lives, make vows, and recite Little Houses, my illness has not recurred.
Having now healed from this unusual illness, I'm here to share my story with you. These dreams signify an enhancement in the quality of life. I deeply appreciate the blessings of the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, which have reinforced my resolve to earnestly follow the path of Buddhism and instilled me with confidence. I am dedicated to diligently progressing in the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door and remain steadfast in my commitment.
Currently, I am studying in Singapore, and whenever I have the opportunity, I propagate the Dharma and benefit sentient beings. Whenever I return to Malaysia, I often volunteer at the fellowship center.
Additionally, I would like to mention two more things. Firstly, on the second night after making my vow to be a vegetarian, I saw a child's spirit clearly flying beside me in the hospital and heard it laughing. Shortly after, I dreamt of a man killing a woman and cutting open her chest. In the dream, I felt that the pain of the woman being cut open was exactly the same as the pain I felt during my surgery.
While many still question the reality of karma and karmic obstacles, doubting Master Lu's teachings, I have personally experienced their effects. Thus, I hope my story can encourage you to embark on the practice of Buddhism and the recitation of Buddhist scriptures, starting today. I wish to prevent anyone from following my path, waiting until karmic obstacles manifest and adversity strikes before beginning their spiritual journey. I am deeply thankful for all those who stood by me during that challenging time, particularly my family and friends, who supported me through my darkest moments. My heartfelt gratitude also goes to the fellow practitioners at the Guan Yin Citta fellowship in Kuala Lumpur, who patiently guided me into the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door.
Deep gratitude to our Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Master Jun Hong Lu for establishing the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door, guiding us on a path away from suffering towards happiness. Lastly, and most importantly, deep gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, who saves those in distress and hardship. With Her Buddha light blessing each one of us, She guides us back to the right path of learning Buddhism and constantly watches over us, blessing us at all times and in all places. Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Buddhist practitioner: GWT
Speech to text translator: Guan Jing
Proofreaders: Miao and Dong Ri Yang Guang
Date: 2024-05-11
Translator: Frank
Published: 2024-05-14
Statement by translator
The story was translated from video into text, and then translated from Chinese into English. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the presenter, I pray for forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下：
下面让我们有请来自马来西亚的郭同修与我们分享：郭同修身患绝症，重症肌无力，饱受病痛折磨几次病危。然而心灵法门使他摆脱病魔，重获新生。让我们掌声欢迎!
感恩大慈大悲观世音菩萨，感恩卢军宏师父。
尊敬的各位佛友，你是否知道什么事情比死更糟糕？你是否曾经死里逃生？今天我便有一个亲身经历死里逃生的故事要告诉你。
你是否听过一种称为重症肌无力的疾病？相信很多人都不曾听过。因为全世界只有约三万人患上这种病，患者的神经控制不到肌肉。举例说，如果患病部位是手臂，这个手就能感觉到痛热冷及压力。但无论如何你怎么叫你那个手动，它都不会动。我就是三万人之一。而受影响的部位包括脸颊，嘴巴，左手臂以及负责呼吸的胸肌。也就是说，当病程发作的时候，我是无法呼吸的。你现在估计到我多接近死亡了吧？
回到我的故事。2012年9月中旬，我肺部被细菌感染，久病不起。在9月29日当晚，我的呼吸也到了越来越困难，家人赶紧送进医院急救。第二天夜里，病情终于恶化到重症肌无力，我的呼吸微弱到快要断气了。医生再次替我急救，最后替我戴上了维生系统，并送进加护病房。所谓维生系统，就是很多仪器套在身上，很多管子插进身体里。虽然被插管子的部位很痛，但万一随便一个仪器松脱了，可能我的生命就会有危机。所以，我当时连动都不敢动。
有一夜，护士替我抽血检查，但是针管却一直插不进正确的动脉。她们这里插一下不行，拔出针管，在那里又插一下，一次又一次。我那时痛得死去活来，却因为全身套满了仪器而不能动。我终于忍不住在心里问自己，我做错了什么？为何必须承受这一切？我不曾伤害任何人，也不曾亏待任何人，为什么是我？
那时还不懂佛法，也不懂什么许愿。但痛苦使得我这个受英文教育认不到几个中文字的人也会在心里喊出观世音菩萨的佛号，祈求她救我出苦海。几天后，我的情况有好转。医生移除了我的维生系统，从加护病房推进了普通病房。我想自己很快可以出院，回到之前的生活，一切几乎结束了。我觉得很开心！
现在回想起来，我才发觉自己当时是多么的愚昧，才开始康复仍然如此的自私。只想着自己生存，不曾关心其他和我一样受苦的人。可能因为这样我受到了教训。就在我被转进普通病房的同一天晚上，我突然呼吸困难，发不出声音，全身又不能动，只能用眼神和手，以我的手用一点小动作来引起别人的注意。
一个护士发现到把楼层的医生叫来。想不到医生竟然看看仪器读数后跟护士说我的心跳和呼吸都正常，然后就离开了。我再一次用最尽力的引起身旁的人注意。感谢菩萨保佑。这时有另外一位医生经过，看到我，察觉到我的神态不正常，并把之前的医生叫回来，求他详细检查。就在他们两个还在争论我究竟是正常或不正常，一旁我已经几乎断气了，心里放弃活命了。
仪器读数也再一次变成警报状态。幸好两个医生在身旁，能以最快的速度把我救了。第二天，我在熟悉的加护病房里醒来，身上又套上了维生系统。经过这一次乐极生悲，我终于明白到我受的苦是源于我出生以来愚昧无知的罪，或许不止只有这一世，而是过去无数世累积下来的因果。如今要面对果报了。
我再次向观世音菩萨祈求，而且向她发愿说：“观世音菩萨，我相信每个灵魂，他们死之前都会受到很多苦，它们的痛苦肯定不比我现在所受的少。请求观世音菩萨救我脱离这一切痛苦。我愿意为此一生吃素。
相不相信由你。向观世音菩萨发愿终身吃素后两天我肺部感染有了明显的好转，之后被转进普通病房。或许是因缘到了。不但我自己开始吃素，我父母也同时明白到我的疾病已不在医生的控制范围，只有菩萨才能救到我。当时我们全家人才刚接触佛法。
妈妈每天勤念观音菩萨的佛号。爸爸找来一本《心经》每天为我念诵。
但是，我们的考验还没过去。某天晚上我再次感到呼吸困难，第三次戴上了维生系统。
我看到父母下跪求神佛菩萨保佑我平安度过。他们之前已经跪过医生了，这一次再下跪，已经超出我能承受的限度。我不要父母为我下跪。看到他们下跪，深深地刺伤了我。我这一个19岁的男孩应该照顾父母，反而为什么要让他们超过50岁的父母为我而下跪？
三次戴上了维生系统住进加护病房又三次的好转，被转进普通病房。我在医院里住了三个月后，才终于出院回家。感恩菩萨保佑。这三好三坏的过程，不但没有减少我和家人对佛法的信心，反而相信只有因果和业障才能解释我的状况。出院后，我和家人还继续研究什么是佛法。感恩菩萨加持！
某一天，我和家人到住家附近的一间素食馆，认识到心灵法门。于是，我回家就急不及待的上网，上心灵法门的网站下载了几篇佛经的英文拼音版开始念诵。心灵法门真的很灵验。我当夜念诵了经文后，便梦见在家中的阳台念诵《大悲咒》时，在梦里天上的云朵化出观世音菩萨的形象。
然而，第二天醒来后我念经便感到头痛及爱睡。我和家人冒昧地拨电话联络吉隆坡心灵法门共修会。接电话的师姐便叫我们到共修会里念经。一天我在共修会里念经时，头痛剧烈。当时大家正在忙着筹备法会，会所堆得很拥挤。很感恩师姐搬开东西，腾出空间让我躺下，还召集了在场的许多师兄师姐们一起为我念诵经文。
后来，师姐解释我的头痛是要经者的讯息，还教会我放生、许愿及小房子并告诉我消除业障的急迫性。我当时便即刻安排放生数千条鱼。如今家人依然坚持每逢初一十五为我放生。
心灵法门真的是很灵验的法门，自从我在师姐的教导下，开始以正确的方式念小房子之后，便不断有梦境显现。第一晚便梦见一座七层楼高的佛像，底下有很多人在共修。心灵法门真的很灵验的法门，两个星期后我背熟了《大悲咒》时，便梦到菩萨的法身，还有两护法神用车子载我兜圈。更美妙的是，两个月后，当我背起了《礼佛大忏悔文》，竟然梦见自己和师父一起喝茶。
最重要的是我继续的放生许愿及念小房子之后，我的病情不曾复发。
现在已经从这奇怪的疾病中痊愈，活下来告诉你们这一个故事。这一切的梦境显示生活素质提升。我都感恩大慈大悲的观世音菩萨的加持，坚定了我学佛精进，很有信心，并立志在心灵法门一门精进永不退转。
我如今在新加坡求学，只要有机会就弘法利生，一回到马来西亚更是经常到共修会工去做义工。
另外，我要补充两件事，第一件事在我发愿吃素后的第二晚，我便在医院看见一小孩子的灵性清楚地在我旁边飞过，还发出了笑声。不久后我又梦见了一个男人杀了一个女人，还把她的胸口割开。而我在梦里感觉，那女人的被割开胸口的痛苦竟然跟我动手术时的痛苦一模一样。很多人还在质疑因果和业障的存在，怀疑卢台长的教导，但是我亲身体验过了。因此，我希望自己的故事能启发你学佛，学习佛法，今天就开始念诵经文。因为我不希望有人跟我一样，等到业障显现坏事发生之后才开始修行。深深感恩所有在我那段时间陪伴过我的人，尤其是我家人和朋友，在我最艰难的时刻，可以为我支持的人。深深感恩吉隆坡心灵法门共修会的师兄师姐们。他们耐心引导我进入心灵法门。
深深感恩我们大慈大悲的卢军宏台长创办了心灵法门，指引我们一条离苦得乐的道路。最后也是最重要的，深深感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨，以她的佛光加持了我们每一个人，指引我们回到正确的学佛之道，随时随地都在庇佑着我们。感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨！
如果整理过程中有不如理不如法之处，还请观世音菩萨护法神菩萨慈悲原谅！
观净师兄语音转文字，妙师兄和东日阳光师兄校对。
2024-05-11
您想改变命运吗？
我们手把手传授您观世音菩萨的心灵法门五大法宝：“许愿”、“放生”、“念经”、“读《白话佛法》、大忏悔”。您将亲自见证如何通过佛法让自己及家人获得身心安定、病苦解除、冤结化解、智慧增长、学业进步、事业提升、家庭幸福。免费学习，免费结缘。
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Disclaimer of Liability:
The contents of the presentation and answers, including text, images, and other information obtained from Dharma practitioners, are provided strictly for reference purposes. Due to the unique nature of individual karma, results similar to those experienced by the authors may not be replicated. The experiences and advice shared should not be construed as medical advice or a diagnosis.
In the event of an emergency, it is crucial to promptly contact your doctor or emergency services by dialing 911. Relying on any information found in the answers is done solely at your own risk. The translator and answerer bear no responsibility for the consequences. By using or misusing the contents, you accept liability for any personal injury, including death. It is imperative to exercise caution and seek professional medical guidance for health-related concerns.

Devouring Cancer

________________________________________________________________________________
Meat. /mi:t/
Me it. /mi/ /:t/
It me. /:t/ /mi/
It’s me…
We are eating ones of ourselves…
________________________________________________________________________________
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
/C̶̢͈̈̂͒̀̋̾̓͌Ô̶̻͉̠̱͈̳̮N̸̫̹̱̯̣̣̻̐̽͒̎̃̆̕͜Ǹ̴̛̛͙̫̇E̴͕̮̻͇̒͐̀C̶̳̤̠͔̺̚T̴̘̑̈́̂͛̂̏E̶̡̩̝̮͇̤̣̋̏͗D.
/Mellator Matrix Mind: Inner Core.
/Unit: great [AVALON] the first
/G.R. Era.
/Memory File transmission: Generalized perspective
/Gender: N/A[Neutral]
/Age: {Human equivalent: 2001 years}
/Race: Grrrr’atrrr
/Species: N/A[Hive Mind]
/ Additional verification: Class>>> [Cancer Cells]
/Cradle planet: Ci-3301
/Home planet origin: Mupan
/First person POV not applicable. Generalized Spectator mode.
/Sequence Code: 5-18-5-8 19-1-23 20-8-7-9-14-11-5-12-2-13-21-8
/Memory transmission in 3…2…1…
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

Hunger…
It’s all that drives us. It’s all that unites, connects us… All that pulls us, all that defines and binds us…
Our story began long ago. It all started with a single parasite cell. Not the greatest primordial ancestor indeed, but every Apex Predator started somewhere. But back to our history… That very first cell was our first grandmother, as well as the beginning of our entire civilization. Hard to tell what was the trigger for it’s evolutionary change, as time wipes all. Perhaps it was desire to become something better? Awakening? Or maybe just spontaneous mutation in one of the genome chains, occurring by changes in environment? It really doesn’t matter. All what matters is that that cell evolved…
It didn’t happened quickly of course. Our first grandmother was no different than an average cancer cell that is present in nearly every life form, even us. It just growed into one small neoplasm, or simply, a cancer tumor. But that tumor slowly made it’s way to the brain. We know that because that’s how we, as well as our ancestors, assimilated everything for millennia…
It is impossible to determine which one of the prey species was honored to become the meal of our first ancestor, but it was clear that that feast was something that never happened before. That tumor did not just sucked the nutrients dry till the brain dies from the protein starvation, taking the tumor along the way with it. No, that tumor assimilated it. And that tumor learned. Learned from it. And it saw the world for the first time.
Assimilation is not as easy as other inferior beings think. First, your cell needs to find the prey cell. Then it needs to envelop the cytoplasm of that cell to properly assimilate it. However, after assimilating the “Host”, your cells need to take properties of assimilated cells and even function for the prey organism for the time being so it won’t suspect anything. It is a long, tedious and fatiguing process. That’s why we just ambush other prey organisms, tear them apart, and devour them for protein supplies, to avoid all that bustling.
And say what, the prey doesn’t make it easier for us either. As our first ancestors quickly learned, prey can be sentient too. It is inferior, weak, pathetic… And yet it can create great weapons to stop us. For [decades] these beings create astonishing amount of that pesky, venomous and disgusting antibiotics and chemicals to kill our minds. For thousands of [years] they set our flesh on fire, making us scream as we die in agony cell by cell.
And yet we prevail. When they make those chemistry compounds they call “Cure”, we gain immunity to it. When they set our bodies ablaze, we spray them with our blood and teeth, making their bodies to slowly blister as we eat them inside out. When they close their doors on us, we use ventilations, slithering right above their heads or below their {feet}. When they use special protection suits, we just tear them apart. And when they completely quarantine themselves, thinking that they are safe, we pretend to be one of them, striking from behind…
What is the most amazing thing about this prey? Well, aside that their flesh is delicious… They are clever. And they know how to build stuff. Weapons, tools, technology… Everything to increase the odds of survivability and comfort of their pathetic kind. And by devouring their minds, we gain all this knowledge as well! We learned how to grow cattle to saturate our hunger, we learned how to create faster means of transportation that even the fastest members of our swarm can’t out-crawl with their appendages. And most importantly; we learned how to reach the skies…
Among the prey species that we feast upon, there was a special class, or caste, of highly educated specimens, who called themselves “scientists”. These specimens learned how to use metal, fuel, radiation, and other inedible and in some cases straight up harmful components of nature, and turned them into what they called “Spacecraft”. A special vehicle, capable of leaving the atmosphere of our planet. Something that sounded like fantasy, even for the boldest ones of us, who sometimes managed to grow wings and flew high in the sky. It was a fantasy until we consumed their heads and the knowledge they possessed along the way. From them we gained knowledge of the schematics of these space vessels, and most importantly; the schematics of FTL drives. Devices capable of traveling among the stars with “superluminal” speed. And so, after conquering and discovering each and every corner of our planet, we soared to the great unknown, right into the void…

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
/Transmission mode: Spectator. Centralized perspective.
/Subject: Verrruur. Grrrr’atrrr. Lead hive mind of the Hunter Fleets.
/Transmission in 3…2…1…
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
We flew among the stars in our glorious ships made out of strongest titanium fusions and covered in our eternal flesh. Yes, what wasn’t made out of the metal hulls and electronics, was made out of sheer muscles and flesh tissue. So many cells… So much nutrition… We could withstand decades without the food and still hunt like our greatest hunters back on Mupan(Apparently, that’s how prior sentient prey species happened to call our planet, and we didn’t really bother to rename it, as for us it was widely known as just plain“Ground, floor, or land”). Our strongest weapons, combined with our most dissolving acid spitters, made us the strongest and most feared hunters, “cementing” our history as the strongest Apex Predators in the galaxy! We defeated, devoured, and assimilated everything… It did not matter if our enemy was a leviathan, an enemy prey fleet, or even an entire planet. If it could be eaten, it was eaten…
Until it wasn’t…
On yet another great crusade in search of delicacy for our insatiable fleets, our sensors captured a strange, but nonetheless familiar signal. The impulse of FTL drive. We made a serious double, and even triple checking of our radars to avoid a major nutritional loss due to false readings. After our intels captured, properly verified, and confirmed the signal, our intercoms just exploded with thousands of jaws:
“Food?”
“Food…”
“ Food! FOOD!!! Food! Food! Delicious prey! Food! We shall… FEAST! Food! Yes!!! Food! FOOD!!! We haven’t ate for [Month]! At last… Some good food… Food! Juicy food… Flesh of prey…
Food! The succulent meat…”
Yes, we felt joy. And anticipation of hunting down these unknown but likely very delicious organisms. It was like opening the present. You don’t know what was inside these flying metal cans, but you sure know that it was likely to be something edible.
Oh, we never were so wrong in our glorious history.
We did not saw them at first, that’s how black and cloaked they were. When we finally identified our “prey” we saw it was a small cluster of black ellipsoids, just hovering there. They did not tried to contact us, like other naive prey organisms did. They were completely silent...
“We will smash you like the eggs you are!” we foolishly thought back then...
They slowly turned frontwards when we approached them. Their range was astonishing, picking our smallest drones instantly before they could even scream, like if they were the candles that these black horrors just blew out.
When we finally reached the required distance and fired our acid sacks and laser guns however, they were still there, not blowing up, retreating, or even moving an [inch]. Then we opened all the airlocks(if we weren’t already outside) and enveloped their ships in our mighty grip, not stopping to pour their shields with our acids and plasma. Usually, after a few unpleasant zaps of enemy shields, they just popped and the ships just were crack open like the [nuts].
But not them...
They did not crumble and exposed their hulls with screaming prey just getting sucked out in the vacuum as usual, no, instead they started to grow bright red. Redder than our flesh and blood…
And burned. Burned stronger and more painful than any flame. Our drones roared in pain but we couldn’t hear any of their songs of torture in this vacuum of silent space. Hundreds of megatons of our flesh clusters was just turned in ashes or were torn off and become drifted dead lumps of burnt meat. Our intercoms filled with screams of fear and agony, our minds losing their mass and density, turning into undeveloped children.
"Father? It hurts…” could be heard from countless drones. And any of them that tried to escape, were sniped with red beams of such accuracy, that our best spitters could only dream of. It didn’t last long when we were the only operating guide ship of entire Armada that was so ingloriously butchered. And then we felt the warmth…
No… NO!
All weapons of this black "eggs" were pointed at us, our last mind. The last memories flashed as we slowly were burned to death. The last though of our last tumor was the realization that there was someone stronger than us. Someone who cannot be eaten. The bigger Predator…
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=
/Memory transmission File disconnected.
/Reason: Biological death of the Subject.
/Cause of death: Sterilization.
/End of data log.
/D̵̛̤̂͜I̵̢͎̬̍̄̂͌͋S̴̢̛̙͇̯̽̔̾́͝C̸̭͓̰̤͋͆́ͅÓ̴͖̜̯̻͂̃̉N̵̨̧̦͙̳̍̾̕N̴͙̬͓̽̃̂̇͂͝E̵̠̬̠͉͒C̵̢̛͚̪̭̭̼̿̎T̶̝̈́͋͘͜Ì̸̢̱̙̤̽͑̽̈́̍ͅŌ̵̗̬̑̍̽̒N̷͖͖̗̗͚͈͗͛...
=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

My gf and i have been together for 5 months and things are pretty rocky right now. Especially now actually, because she said she wanted to go on a break until she returns from her trip in 2.5 weeks. The reason is because I did not blow up her phone at 12 AM last night saying happy birthday or say happy birthday to her in the early morning. Keep in mind this week I have finals and as an engineering major I have to make sure i focus really hard and pass my courses. Instead I said happy birthday at 2 PM (her time 4PM), when i woke up from a late night study sesh. She then texted me saying she was really really upset and that my effort did not match her idea of effort.
The kicker is because she left on her trip on Saturday, I celebrated her birthday with her on friday. I bought her a birthday tiara, then a gift she said she wanted from her “list” and set up a whole surprise thingy from my trunk with lots of balloons and decorations and some flowers. I tried my best because money for me is really tight right now. But I spent 1 week doing all that, and it was a lot of effort from me. I also brought her out to eat and had a outing with her. And as someone who never celebrated my birthday, i didn’t know what to put together and it was really out of my comfort zone but i really enjoyed putting it together and i thought she would really like it!
But apparently that was not good enough. Today she said to me she wished i put a note inside or made it more sentimental since i couldn’t afford what she really wanted. She said what she really wanted wasn’t what she mentioned in her “list” but something else. To put it simply, she thinks my gift was not birthday worthy because what i gave her was a regular gift you give when you think of someone when you’re out and about. Essentially this girl expects me to read her mind or in between the lines. But unfortunately i am not a psychic. There’s just so many rules to this relationship.
In addition to that she compared me to her friends and all the things they’ve done for her on her birthday, like order food to her hotel or spam her phone at 12 AM. Or someone who drove 3 hours to see her where she is right now. I just think it’s so unfair how she expects me to do all these things and compares me to her friends. I’m trying my best. I also already celebrated your birthday 3 days ago!!! Especially since she said her love language is acts of service, I try my best to fulfill that! I didn’t know it was gift giving too!
I am really upset and just so exhausted with this relationship. It feels like nothing i can do will be good enough. And if i try to defend myself, she says I invalidate her feelings. I’m almost at the point where i won’t even defend myself and explain my side and feelings anymore because she will just say i am making it all about me and invalidating her feelings. So, where do i go from here?

I ended up buying a house at the edge of this town.... before i knew all the bullshit that was goin' on around here. Got bored and went down to the local sheriff Jack and asked about an opening, Didn't even fill out an application, got the job on the spot. For the first few months it was the usual, speeding tickets, drunk and disorderly, normal shit right? Well... let the fuckery commence....
I had been a deputy for 7 months when one of the local farmers called in and reported he had some animals killed last night and wanted someone to come out to his house. John Nixon was a 60 year old farmer who lived by himself. His wife passed away years ago, but he never remarried and they never had kids. We met one day at the local tackle shop. Me being new in town, he took me to some of the good fishin' spots. The man was a huge military history buff and would always ask about my time in. I thought I knew him personally, so i took the call.
As I rolled up to the gate on his property, I saw John standing at the gate with a shotgun. " Hey john, can I ask why you are standing there with that cannon in your hands?" No response, he just stared at me. "John! put that damn shotgun down!!" I yelled. Its like he snapped to out of a trance. "Mason, i need you to come round the back side of the house to the barn, now!" he snapped.
"OK, OK, let me get outta the car and grab some gear." I said opening the car door. While i was grabbing my gear, John was standing there with his eyes scanning the tree line. "Come on mason! you need to see this!" He said heading towards the back. I closed the trunk and started walking over in his direction.
"So what the hell is going on that's got you walking around here with that damn bazooka?" No response, he just keeps walking and scanning the tree line. We finally got to the back of his house where the barn is. It looked like a horror movie in that pen.
"What the fuck happened here!?!" I said covering my mouth. There were pieces of chickens and goats everywhere, a few pigs looked like they had been filleted. "Its back mason, after all these years" John mumbled. "John what the hell are you talking about? what did this?" I asked.
John took his eyes off the tree line and looked me dead in the face. "Your not from here so you dont know." "Know what man? what are you saying?" I asked getting annoyed now. "Years ago this same thing happened to a few guys I know. All of their livestock had been killed. Not killed and eatin', just killed. It got people 'round here up in arms. Well, a few of us got together and decieded we were gonna look for whatever did it" he said. "What the hell are you telling me john?" I interrupted. "There were four of us. We were young, thought we were bullet proof. We went out into the woods one morning, determined to find the damn thing that had been killing our animals.
Tommy was the first to say something. "Hey, did you guys hear that?". The rest of us didnt hear a thing, so we kept moving. We got about three miles deep into the old pine forest at the edge of town. Will was the next to say something, "WHAT THE FUCK?!" he yelled out while looking down at the mud. We ran over to where he was standing to find him wide eyed. "I dont know what the actual fuck did this, but we..we need to go and I mean right fucking now!!!" he said pointing. This track was huge, at least 14 inches long with huge claws. Gerald spoke up "Let's fuckin' go guys!!".
We started back tracking out of the area, when we were stopped cold in our tracks, we all heard it this time. It was coming from everywhere and nowhere at the same damn time. A sickening, shrieking laugh was coming from all around us. We panicked and starting runnin'. As soon as we did that, whatever was making that noise centered as if right behind us, and it was coming fast, ungodly fast" John said eyeing the remains of a chicken that was torn apart.
"We were about a mile from the trucks when I heard a thud and a scream, when i looked back Gerald wasn't there. Will and tommy were right behind me, terror all over their faces. Tommy pulled his pistol and started shooting backwards. Only one shot rang out before something tackled him and Will. I stopped, raising my rifle, but they had already been torn apart. It was seconds, and they were in shreds" John said.
"Mason, what i saw standing over their shredded bodies has haunted me since then. The fucking thing was nine feet tall, shaped like a man, but not. Its skin, or or scales was a mixture of black and grey and it looked slimy. It looked like a damn bodybuilder with hugh claw like hands. Its head was massive, with what looked like horns coming from the jaw to around the chin. Its eyes, glowed bright green in the middle of the fucking day, and it had a mouth full of fucked up jagged teeth." He said lowering his head.
"I jus.. just stood there, waitng for my turn. This thing paced back and fourth, staring at me, with this creepy damn smile. It looked down at Will and Tommy, then it looked back up at me. My heart almost stopped when it pointed and shook its head at me. It started making that shrieking laugh as it grabbed what was left of my friends in each giant claw and walked off into the woods, still fucking laughing. I fell to my knees as it vanished into the trees."
I stood there, thinking he lost his damn mind. John had stopped talking, he had this way off look in his eyes. "John..., john.., JOHN!!" his eyes snapped back to mine. "So what are you telling me? A nine foot creature with claws killed your friends and animals?!" I half mocked. "Yea.... thats what i'm telling you. Its back for me, i know it." "What makes you think it was this thing you say killed your friends? It could have been coyotes" I asked " I know mason, i heard that same horrible shrieking laugh in the woods behind the barn last night."
Now I’ve heard some real bullshit in my time, especially during my time in the contracting field... But this was the most out there shit I had ever heard.
"Alright, alright... let's just take a big ass step backwards. I need to wrap my head around all of this." I said takin a deep breath. John laid the shotgun down to his side. "I'm telling you the truth mason. i'm too old and tired to lie about shit" he said shrugging. I looked deep into this man’s eyes. When I did, I saw something that told me this was the absolute truth as he knew it. " You haven’t given me any reason to doubt you... but fuck man... this is hard to swallow. I need proof John, that's the way this works." A look of frustration washed over his weathered face.
"Proof?! you want proof huh? follow me" John groaned.
He started walking towards the tress behind the barn. As we got closer to the trees, I started to smell rusty copper. Blood I thought out loud. John raised his shotgun as we walked closer. That damn gun had to be illegal, but this wasn’t the time for that. Him raising that gun made me a lil' uneasy, so I pulled my Glock 9mm out and flipped the safety off.
John owned about 90 acres, most of it unkept. A lot of the land was behind the barn which butted up to a state forest. We took about 12 steps into the wood line when the smell of death hit me like a brick. "I'm taking you to where I heard the noise coming from last night... your PROOF is out there Mason" He said with a slight edge to it.
We walked almost a hundred yards into the woods when john stopped in front of a tree. It looked twisted and warped all the way to its top. I stepped around John and saw huge claw marks cut deep all the way around the base of the tree, it's hard to even call it that. "What the hell is this?" I said looking up. "This is a marker, it's territory starts here" John replied. I looked at john like he was crazy, which at this point I thought he was. "This thing travels throughout these woods. I've found five more of these trees in our town" he said putting a hand on the tree.
"This isn’t telling me anything John, just that you've got a weird ass tree on your property" I said back to him. "Do you hear that?" So we could move this mess forward, I stopped talking and just listened. I hadn't noticed that during our walk into the woods it had got quiet, and I mean not one sound. " What the hell? where did all the animals go?" I asked looking around. "They're scared mason... you should be too. Let's get back to the house."
We turned and started making our way out of the woods. We were damn near the tree line when I heard a snap. I turned around, gun raised to see a black streak dart back deeper into the woods. "What the fuck was that?!" All John said was "we need to leave, now!" We turned and started sprinting the rest of the way out of the woods. I was surprised at how fast john was for an old man. We got all the way back to my patrol car. "I don't know what that was, but I don't think you should stay here tonight John. Pack some stuff and come to my place" I said pointing my gun at the trees. John just let out a sigh as if frustrated and defeated.
"You weren't listenin'. The pine forest, these trees, it’s all connected. I’m talkin’ bout before this area was even inhabited by native peoples. This fucking thing has been around for a very long time. I have been looking into this since that day, I had to find out what it was and if it can be killed" he tried to explain. The whole time john was talking I had my eyes and weapon pointed at the trees. " You can put that down mason, it just wanted you to know it's here" He said.
"John, I to need process this shit. I've never seen or heard anything like this and to be straight with you, I’m at a loss right now" I said opening the trunk. "I get it, I get it. The sheriff jack was a deputy back then. When you see him... tell him I said the dark is here..." And with that, he just turned his back and walked back into his house not saying another word.
I got back in the car and sat there. Looking at the treeline. After a few minutes I went back to the station. I must've walked in with that universal what the fuck look on my face, because Cathy the clerk asked what was wrong with me. I told her I was fine and asked if she had seen the sheriff? "Yeah, he is in the gun cage. Are you sure you’re ok Mason?" She asked again.
"Yeah, I'm good, just need to talk to Jack." I started walking towards the back of the building, when Jack came around the corner. "Hey mason, what's up?" he says walking up to me. "I just got back from John's house." The look on his face completely changed. "He had a bunch of animals killed last night. It looked like a slaughterhouse. He told me to tell you the dark was back?" I told him noticing his reaction.
Jack stiffened up and not saying a word gestured for me to follow him towards the back security door. We headed towards the back and out the door. Jack had stopped to make sure the door was secure then pointed at his truck and said "get in."
After getting in he looked over "I need some coffee" then started the truck up and headed west out of the parking lot towards the coffee shop. He ordered a large black coffee with extra sugar then asked if I wanted one. "I'll take a small black, no sugar." We pulled out and headed east back past the station. We ended up driving towards the edge of the county. "What's going on and why are we heading way the hell out here?" I looked at jack and said.
Jack just took a long sip of his coffee then placed it back in the holder.
After a long breath "You want some answers about what happened at Johns' house... I’m sure he told you about a few other things about this town... well we're gonna go get you some answers" He said looking at a black sedan passing in the opposite direction. "Aight so, like you mason, I’m not from here either. I was a trooper in New York for a few years before I came down here. I resigned after a call to an old couple’s house" He said reaching for his cup. "My partner Jake and I responded to what was thought to be an animal attack. We were the first on the scene, having been a couple miles away lookin' for speeders.
When we rolled up an older woman came running over to the cruiser. She had a panicked look on her face and just kept repeating "they're dead, they're dead!!" We hopped out and sat her in the back of the car then asked what happened. "I...I... came over to talk to gloria and... and I saw the door open. I walked in yelling her and Alan’s name, but they didn't answer... I found them upstairs... it's horrible!!" She said sobbing. Jake and I drew our weapons and started making the move inside. Like the witness said the front door was open, so we moved in. It smelled like sulfur and blood when we entered. We started clearing rooms. The first floor was clear, so we made our way up the steps.
The smell was overpowering now. We cleared the bathroom, and the two smaller rooms were clear also. The door to the master bedroom was slightly opened. I motioned to Jake and we hit the door.... it looked like some movie shit!! I kid you not. Jake turned and went back into the hallway and threw up. I stepped into the room and... listen I had never seen anything like this before" Jack stammered out.
"These two people were in shreds on the bed, they're insides had been yanked out and thrown around the fucking room. After looking at the bodies I noticed these huge claw marks in the wall, I’m talking if Andre the giant had had a Krueger glove. I stepped back out of the room and radioed to dispatch that we needed more units. I walked back to the front door where Jake was standing hunched over looking out of it.
Parked outside were 3 black SUVs and a black sedan. I counted 11 men dressed in black tactical military gear, some with a type of rifle I had never seen before, but you could tell it was large caliber. The rest with SMG weapons. When i looked over towards the patrol car, one of the men had the door opened and was talking to the witness. He saw us and started our way. He was dressed in all black too and carried what looked like a desert eagle in a chest holster.
When he got closer I got a better look at him. He looked to be in his late 40's with salt and pepper colored hair and a big ass scar that ran down the right side of his face. He got about ten feet from the steps "We appreciate the assistance, but you are no longer needed" He said in deep voice. As he is saying this, one of the other guys escorts the witness out of our car and into the back of that sedan.
The guy started walking away from us "Who are you? and what the fuck is going on?" I yelled at him. He turned with a look on his face that you only see in movies then took a few steps towards us. "Your command has been informed and you are to leave now!" He said raising his hand up towards that holstered pistol. Jake looked at me and shook his head "fuck it, let's go, let them deal with that mess upstairs" he said still coughing then started heading towards the car. I followed him down the steps... looking this guy up and down, checking out the vehicles... for anything that might tell me who we were dealing with.
The only thing I saw was on the assholes uniform... there was a patch on his shoulder. It was an all-black diamond with a weird looking black M in the middle on it. The guy stared us down until we were in the car driving away. He had that pistol in his hand and the other men starting moving into the house. Jake and I didn’t say a word until the radio squawked and we were told to head back to the barracks.
When we got there, we were told to report to the troop commander’s office. Commander Thompson was sitting in his office along with a man in a nice 2-piece suit. The man in the suit stood there quietly while Thompson told us that we never responded to any call out to that farmhouse, and that this was the first and only time he would say it. With that, he dismissed us and and we walked out. The shit didn’t sit well with me, and I ended up resigning a few months later.
I came down here and then that shit in the woods happened. I was on the scene, I saw the claw marks. They looked just like the ones in New York, and the same damn trucks showed up with different personnel. I knew just to shut up and walk away, and after making that choice I have had a pretty good career here." he finished grabbing his cup out of the holder.
My brain was in overdrive. I was just about to completely question bomb jack when he said, "We're here." He pulled off onto this overgrown driveway and drove for about a quarter mile. We pulled up to an old two-story house that looked like it was in ruins... but the lights were on. "Where the hell are we?" I asked As the last word of that question left my mouth, the front door of the house opened... standing in the doorway was a old man, dressed in weathered black clothing. Jack leaned over to me "You wanted answers... well.... there they are."