Hi all, I’m hoping someone can shed some light or insight to this bizarre situation. It’s a story so buckle up.
My 46 brother, let’s call him Michael, lives in Arizona with his girlfriend of over 10 years. They aren’t in a happy/loving relationship and never have been, it’s more of a dependency/comfort thing. I should also mention, about 15 years ago my brother had a cardiac arrest and was without oxygen to his brain for several minutes. It’s a miracle he is still here! For obvious reasons, he hasn’t been the same since this incident. He is able to hold a job and function as an adult, but he is very much brain damaged in many ways. His critical thinking, reasoning, and much more have been effected. That’s the cliff notes of the back story, let’s get into the “scam”.
He recently told us he’s considering putting in his two weeks notice at his job in AZ to move back in with my parents and work at his previous job here in the PNW. He said he doesn’t feel safe in the house with his gf and her 16 year old son.
And here’s what came out today, he claims two months ago when they made a trip to Vegas, he met Jenna Ortega. He says he was out wandering by himself, and they met. She took him for drinks and got his phone number. They’ve been talking daily since. He says they video chat, text and call several times a day. He claims to have pictures/videos from her and he recently made an Instagram to follow only her (she does not follow him back). This all came out because he said if my parents receive any packages to put them aside for him and not ask any questions. Obviously our family has questions. So after some prying, this is when the “relationship” with Jenna came to light. He plans to leave his current girlfriend and fly to LA to meet her “in person” before coming home. He also claimed that the package she is sending him is some sort of membership card. He says she hasn’t asked him for any money or anything like that. He says he knows “inside details of release dates of Wednesday and another one of her upcoming movies”.
So obviously we are a bit confused. Clearly this is not the real Jenna Ortega. But what’s the goal here? We are concerned because now she has personal information about him as well as our parents address. He also has no filter, so we have no idea what other sort of information about our family he may have give this person. Is this some sort of sex worker or sex trafficking scam? Has anyone heard of this with her or other celebrities?

I have traveled a bit lately and have gotten behind on my thank you post, my deepest apologies, I know how it feels to send something out and not know if it ever got to its destination!
I deeply love this sub and am still amazed at how talented, kind and awesome you all are.
u/_pickupthepieces thanks for the Owl card and exchanging happy mail with me. Yes this week we have had plenty of sunshine!! Although temps are still yo-yoing.
u/amyt13 thank you so much for the Madeira postcard. Sounds like you had an amazing time there. I took my family there for New Year's Eve one year. I book a excursion on a boat with drinks and snacks, I few minutes before midnight they sail out in to the harbor. The fireworks display was truly AMAZING, they were going off in sync 360 degrees all around the boat.
u/articfox_12 thank you for the handmade postcard. Very clever idea to laminate and send. We did and will have a wonderful vacation. I like to travel about every month from March to Nov...
u/babyraspberry x 2 thank you for the Spring mail postcard and all the spring themed ephemera, good for you for taking Mable out for so many walks. I bet she loves it. Thank you too for the Munro's Books postcard, I love the Carl Sagan book quote. I really want to visit Vancouver Island, I hear their gardens are stunning!
u/cake-at-midnight thank you for the thank you postcard, I am glad you liked the birthday card I made for you :) I love my Cricut, I don't use it nearly as much as I should. You can create some amazing things with it!
u/cassius1213 thank you very much for the Awesome Eclipse postmarked postcard. Love that they actually created a specific postmark for the total eclipse.
u/DanerysWon lol love the ballerina hippo postcard, thanks so much, sounds like you had an amazing time at Disney. What a fun place to honeymoon too!
u/DaniGeek what a beautiful hummingbird card you found for me on your treasure hunt! And so fitting as I just saw my first hummingbird yesterday, finally!! Thanks for your book recommendations, it just so happens that I have not read Life of Pi but I just got tickets to see the theater production! I am trying to decide if I should read the book or watch the movie before I see the play. Thoughts? Redwall is a series I read with my son years ago. and the Dresden files is something my son also recently suggested.
u/doughe29 thank you for the Holland MI tulip card. I went to the tulip festival a few years back, very lovely. Yes, Cincy Zoo has a wonderful display of tulips, do come one year. It also has a great Holiday light display in Nov/Dec that is worth seeing.
u/duygusu thank you for the sparkly Awesome thank you card. I am glad you liked the card I sent, wishing you a quick settling in process. Thanks too for the pretty pansy sticker.
u/ez330 thank you for the Ohio Eclipse postcard. Did you not get to see it? We drove up to Dayton to the Air Museum and the clouds parted at just the right time for us to enjoy the majority of the eclipse. Love all the cool space themed stamps you used.
u/Ginger_ninjah thank you for the sunflower mini card and all the fun stickers. Sounds like you have been busy, still loving your Ninja food processor? LOL still shredding cheese?
u/HexagonalRainbow x 2 Thank you for the Legoland postcard. I could see how it would be really easy to spend way more money than intended at the Brick Factory. And a outlet store too - yikes! How many things have you built with what you bought though? I bet a ton of cool things. Secondly, thanks for the Mount Fuji postcard, very pretty! How did you qualification go for work?
u/keqani thanks for the Krieg postcard, love all the cute stickers you adorned the postcard with!
u/libertyprogrammer x 3 thank you for the Cincy OH postcard. Hmmm Leicester UK in 2044? Not sure I would make plans that far ahead lol. Thank you for the Houses of Parliament postcard, I walked around that area so often, I will respond to your update soon. Believe it or not I just today got your postcard you sent from Kruger National Park! It is dated Dec 20th. Can't believe it took so long to find its way to me. Awesome that you saw so many amazing animals!!
u/Mediocre_Radish_7216 thanks for the wonderful and cute snail mail postcard. You should do a scavenger hunt sometime, I had so much fun with it.
u/melhen16 Thank you for the National Postcard Week rainbow postcard, and thanks for the history lesson on the birth of the postcard, wonder what John Charlton would think about the industry he started?!
u/Mysteryvus x 2 thank you for the beautiful lemon thank you card, it is really very pretty. I am glad you liked the bday card I made as I thought about the things you mentioned you liked. Thanks to for the travel postcard, I really do like to travel. I am calling the travel agent my friend used tomorrow to start the planning of our Australia/NZ trip :) wish me luck!
u/ninayjang thank you for the Rome postcard, I love those art type postcards. I will tell you more about my NM trip soon.
u/PinkPengin thank you for the birds and penguin upcycle postcard. Good to hear from you my friend. I too have a pile of things I am supposed to finish up......I keep getting distracted with making travel plans, people visiting, or one of many other things that grabs my attention.
u/princecowboy thank you for the pen and ink dog face postcard. You were absolutely right, by the time I got this you had made it to your 100 flair - Congrats again. And by now you have received my 100 flair congrats card LOL.
u/purpleroots thank you for the CRAVE postcard with all your doodles :)
u/raspberrypoppyseed thank you for the awesome Disney Gang postcard. Did you have an amazing visit? Did you see any of the parades? They are one of my favorite things to do there.
u/rennbrig thank you for the beautiful artwork postcard of "Shaw Island Meadow" it really is so pretty, so glad you reached your sending goal :)
u/TheFeistyFox thank you so much for my sticker bomb scavenger birthday card, it was fun getting something to stretch my bday celebration this far :) thanks for the washi samples too, love the watermelon!!
u/TyeDyeAmish thank you for the bull fighting postcard, I would have to agree, the bulls probably don't like it! It is not something that I would want to see. I have heard how they are done and I just don't think I could watch it.
u/zenshark33 x 2 thank you for the Happy Spring orange flowers postcard, I have moved several times and the think I like the most is getting rid of things so I don't have to move them, so I am right there with you! Thank you for the purple flower Random Happy Mail postcard, always fun to get unexpected happy mail!
u/Zznightzzz thank you for the birthday postcard from my Scavenger hunt! I loved hearing all about your island and the people there. No problem on its delay in getting sent, been there, done that!! I love that you sent it. I still have one other person that I have not received from so if it makes you feel better you aren't the last one :)
u/wabisabi_sf, u/ninajyang and u/littlemermaidxx thank you so much for the Meet Up postcard from the SF stamp show. What a great venue to meet up and get together!!

Generally, every end of a volume shows an sketch of a future chapter, and this volume 25 was no different.
In it, Shiho's father is shown next to Shibe Masakazu (The Boss), probably arresting him or restraining his hand after shooting Yuuichi, who is apparently crouched down and with blood coming out of his mouth.
If I have to bet, chapter 125 would reveal who the real traitor is and end with Yuuichi getting shot. And then, in chapter 126, this scene would be shown in more detail.
My theory is that Yuuichi's real goal was to trick the boss into answering and confirming the answers to all the questions, and then revealing that the person he told the hidden participants to vote for was Shiho. This way, he would prove to the boss that he no longer thinks about money and could have chosen to be shot to atone for his crimes and perhaps die at the hands of the one who suffered most from what Yuuichi did in the past, the Boss
https://preview.redd.it/hfnbxltzaa0d1.jpg?width=1070&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c8cadb82b601dbd7af5f2a59047b9072600a32ef

Note: I'm Catholic and struggling. I posted this to Catholicism and it was removed. Feeling lost about this whole issue.
I'd like to preface this post by saying that I'm a practicing Catholic who has been hurt by this teaching and is struggling to make any sense of it. This post is also geared towards women's experiences of Church doctrine. While men can empathize, they will never be able to fully understand the experience of women in relation to pregnancy. I'm not looking to debate here. This isn't made in bad faith:
As someone who is discerning the next steps in their life, I've been considering what a Catholic marriage might look like and if it's my calling. As it stands right now, a Catholic marriage sounds like a grueling death sentence for some women. My main issue has to do with the Church's stance on birth control and (after conversations with priests in my life) clergy's quiet understanding that teachings related to it aren't very sustainable.
I'm a woman and without getting into my personal life, have struggled with fear of pregnancy. For this reason, I've made the determination that staying on birth control is the healthiest option for me. The Catholic Church, however, would beg to differ. If I were to get married, my only options would be to go off the pill and stay celibate or adopt NFP and live my life in crippling fear. That being said, I'm not opposed to having one or two children if I can get better - I do know that I can't remain open to having children anytime I have sex. This isn't only a mental health concern, but related to my material means. I do not work a job that allows me paid parental leave and I have very few days off. I'd have to work through each and every pregnancy and leaving my job would mean not making enough money to provide for children.
Obviously, getting married is not for everyone, but Catholic marriages impose an unbelievable amount of restrictions on the life of the woman. I've read Humanae Vitae and it makes the weak case that outlawing birth control actually upholds the value of the woman. As a woman - I firmly disagree with this. The insistence on my openness to pregnancy makes me feel like a vessel for life, like some kind of livestock who's ultimate goal is to breed. Appeals to what is 'natural' have long been held as a fallacious form of argumentation and while a female animal's most 'natural' purpose is to reproduce, equating this to the life of a human woman is an altogether weak and degrading argument.
Further, allowing NFP but not condoms or birth control is obviously contradictory (and not in the good way like Christ's death on the cross). Every method of birth control allows for a chance that pregnancy might occur. If we are allowed to abstain from sex or use NFP, it follows that any method of birth control would be permissible. Is it really 'natural' to abstain from sex with your spouse?
I see this doctrine hurt, not only me, but women around me. Women who struggle with medical issues are forced to live celibately with their spouse or risk their life with a pregnancy. The inequality is staggering. We are expected to give up our lives for a dangerous pregnancy that we are given no alternatives (aside from abstinence and degrading our relationships with our spouses) to prevent. I feel exhausted as I try to follow the Church's mental gymnastics to justify this doctrine and feel ready to give up on either love itself or the Church.
This might not be the best place to share my thoughts, but I want to do so in case there are any other women who struggle with this. I want to be more open about how this doctrine hurts with those around me and in my community, but speaking about it is difficult. I have chatted with a number of priests and it's clear to me that even they struggle with this issue.

The winning team of Mnet's survival program Build Up'',HunMinJayBit'', will embark on a new challenge as a vocal group, BDU.
BDU members JAY CHANG, ONE PACT, Bitsaeon (MONT), Seunghoon (CIX), and Kim Min-seo recently held an interview at the OSEN building and talked about their thoughts on winning Mnet's ``Build Up.''
Build Up,'' which recently ended airing in South Korea, is a survival program in which talented singers who are confident in their vocals and love singing, regardless of genre, collaborate to create the best four-member vocal boy group. Jay, Bisseon, Seunghoon, and Kim Min-seo, who worked together asHeungmin Jaebit'' on the program, overcame fierce competition to win and will debut as a four-member group, BDU.
The four members said, As our first official schedule, we took a profile picture.We are preparing an album for the first half of the year, so we have received the songs and are listening to them.''They added,We will soon start living in the dormitory.'' I told him about the current situation.
When asked about his thoughts on winning, Bisseon said, I'm very happy.I was happy because I won first place for the first time in my life, and I'm glad that there are other members who can do it together.Everyone worked hard inBuild Up.'' , I'm glad that I was able to achieve a result that feels worth it even though I worked so hard. I would also like to thank all the fans." Seunghoon continued, ``I couldn't believe it at the moment I won.It would be great if I could win, but that wasn't my goal, so I'm grateful that the group was formed.I cherish the stage.'' I felt satisfied that I was able to do this because I practiced while thinking about it.I would also like to express my gratitude to all the fans who have supported me from the beginning."
Jay also said, I was happy to appear on the showBuild Up,'' meet some wonderful friends, and stand on a great stage.I'm happy to be able to sing as BDU thanks to the fans.'' From now on, we will do our best to show only our cool side to the fans who chose us."
Kim Min-seo said, I didn't expect to win either, but it felt like a dream and I was so happy. I had an experience that I'll never have again, so I think it's an important memory that will stay in my life. We're happy to be able to work together. Since you've supported us, we need to repay you, so we'll do our best." BDU is an abbreviation forBoys Define Universe,'' and it means that four people, each with different personalities, will come together to create a new universe. For two years, they plan to release music and albums as well as conduct various activities including touring in Korea and globally.
In particular, the winning team of Build Up'' will be awarded a prize of 100 million won (approximately 8.9 million yen). The members revealed that they have not yet received their prize money, but plan to divide it equally. Bisseon said,The prize money has a lot of meaning and is precious money.I want to give back to the people who helped me and put the rest in my bankbook and just look at it.''
Jay also said, I want to give back to the people who supported me and save money for the rest,'' and Seunghoon said,I don't care about the amount, but it's the first time I've won first place, so I think it's a waste to spend it.'' The money means so much to me that I haven't thought about it yet." Kim Min-seo said, ``I also feel like it would be a waste to spend it.Even if I actually receive a lot of money, it would be a waste to spend it because it was money from winning 'Build Up,' so I would like to thank all the people who supported me. I think I'll buy him some food and save the rest," he added.
HunMinJayBit, which was formed by Jay's selection of members, has emerged as a group with solid talent, visuals, and ability as an all-rounder. Regarding the selection criteria for the members, Jay said, ``I wanted to create a group with all-rounders who can do a wide range of things.Since I'm from the same company as Bisseon, I've been watching him for a long time, and I've seen him sing in a variety of genres. I had watched a lot of them, and I thought we would get along well with each other, so I chose Seunghoon right away.He showed a new side from the beginning to the end of the show, so I think Minseo was exactly what you would call an all-rounder. However, he continued to show that he was a trainee.I felt that he had a lot of potential, and I chose him after seeing his growth.Even though I wasn't the first to choose him, I had high hopes for him. I'm very happy that I was able to choose the members who will do it."
When asked about his future plans, Seunghoon said, ``Although there are no specific dates yet, we are planning to release an album in the first half of the year, and are making various preparations.This year's goal is to release two albums. We're planning to perform music that makes use of our vocals, which is our strength. No matter how difficult the songs are to dance to, we'll be performing them using handheld microphones."
Regarding the group BDU, Bisseon said, We are the main vocalist in each group, but each group has its own color and style, so I think I've only shown a limited style.This time, I'd like to introduce the main vocalist, a person who likes singing. Now that we have come together, we would like to do a variety of activities on stage and music where we can showcase our individual vocals.Although we all have different colors, there is a synergy that emerges when we come together. So, when our fans listen to it, we want to give them high-quality music that will make them think that we are the winners of vocal survival." The members have appeared on various survival programs such asBOYS PLANET'', PEAK TIME'', andYG TREASURE BOX'', but what prompted them to try out for another audition program?
Kim Min-seo said, Originally, I was a trainee, but I was rejected from the debut group, so I decided not to become an idol.However, I wanted to do music, so I was alone for about a year. I was struggling, but there were many difficult times, and I was unsure about things, so I think I needed some inspiration.At that time, the opportunity to appear onBuild Up'' came and I received the offer. I said I would do it right away, and I worked actively on it." Jay said, WhenBOYS PLANET'' ended last year, there was a part of me that doubted whether I had been able to show them enough.When the opportunity for Build Up'' came, I thought I would be able to do it well enough. I decided to appear on the show because I thought I could prove my vocal ability.'' Seunghoon said,I gained a lot from appearing on 'YG Treasure Box' six years ago.At that time, I was able to hit high notes. I wasn't able to do it, but I was able to hit high notes throughout the show.When I heard that ``Build Up'' was a vocal show, I wanted to try my hand at that.''
Bisseon also said, I recently appeared on a survival show, and I thought I would never do it again, but when I heard that it was a vocal survival show, I wanted to try it. Although there was some pressure, I took on the challenge because I thought that regardless of whether I got a good result throughBuild Up'' or not, the experience would have a positive influence on my singing in the future.'' Except for Kim Min-seo, who was a trainee, Bisseon belonged to MONT, Seunghoon belonged to CIX, and Jay belonged to ONE PACT, and they were already active as an idol group.
Seunghoon said, All the members supported me. They told me to come on the show and show what I wanted to show, and they encouraged me to do well without getting nervous every round.'' I was able to do so well because of that kind of support.'' Jay also said,From the beginning, the members supported me very hard and gave me a lot of advice.They supported me and wanted me to show it to the world, so I was able to give a lot of my strength.'' talked.
Bisseon said, At each new round, I shared with the members how to present the stage and received a lot of advice.I received a lot of strength.When the winning team was announced at the end of the final, the members also "I was there, but it felt strange. They were happy together." When asked about the most memorable reaction, Seunghoon said,One of the things that was a little difficult for me while appearing on ``Build Up'' was that people looked at me in a slightly negative way after I decided to appear on this show.'' There were some people there who were our fans, so it was mentally tough for me," he said. ) The painful feeling started to feel rewarding. It was a great opportunity for people to get to know me and the team, and I felt like I was accomplishing that goal. I felt better, and I think I've enjoyed it more since then," he said frankly.
Finally B․ D․ When asked about his goals as a member of the U, he said, I definitely want to go to the award ceremony at the end of the year, either this year or next.It's a place where I can show off my vocals, so I definitely want to go.'' I want to show it to you.'' Bisseon expressed confidence,I want to hold a solo concert in Korea during B․D․U's promotion period and fill a large stadium.''
Next, Jay said, When I was young, I dreamed of becoming a singer because of the songs of various singers. I would be happy if B․D․U could be a group that had that kind of influence.'' Kim Min Seo said, I would be happy if our music made it onto the charts. Our goals are big and we want to rank No. 1."
https://twitter.com/Kstyle_news/status/1789972591274598622?t=wTqhKywqwknISv_n7UkGAg&s=19

I'm mid 30's and buying my first house. I've saved and invested for many years and my goal is coast fire in 5-8 years.
I'm having to come up with a large sum of money for my down-payment. I've liquidated my emergency fund but still need to come up with 13k. Should I take out 13k from my robinhood brokerage account or should I take a personal loan for 13k from my 457b. Considering the current market and my options, what would you do?

LFT
IGN: Seka4a
Age: 19 yo
Region: EU ( Bulgaria )
Hours: 3k+
Faceit: 10 (2.2k (max 3100) https://www.faceit.com/en/players/Seka4a
Steam- https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199095805224/
discord- plamen1889
Availability: all days of the week with a flexible schedule
Role: AWP or lurker
Experience:
I was in several teams in Bulgaria, but they were not the right ones, in the longest team I stayed for 6 months , and then I took a break from the teams for to put my personal performance first
(i was also in international roster for 3 months)
Languages: I'm fluent in English and Bulgarian.
Goals: To be part of long term project and develope to at least tier 2 level

When someone uses the word "fusion" in Human psychology, what does that mean?
In Human psychology, "fusion" typically refers to a concept within Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on helping individuals accept what is out of their personal control while committing to action that improves their life.
Fusion, in this context, refers to the psychological phenomenon where individuals become overly identified or entangled with their thoughts, feelings, memories, or sensations.
For instance, someone experiencing fusion might believe that their thoughts define who they are, leading to distress when they have negative thoughts. In ACT, the goal is to help individuals develop psychological flexibility by learning to observe their thoughts and feelings without necessarily identifying with them or being controlled by them. This process helps individuals create distance from their thoughts and emotions, allowing them to act in ways that align with their values and goals, even in the presence of difficult thoughts and feelings.
Can it be misinterpreted: using the word "fusion" to mean something between two Humans interacting as a mated couple in normal society?
Absolutely, the term "fusion" could be misinterpreted in that context, especially if someone is not familiar with its specific usage in psychology. In a relationship context, "fusion" might be understood as a negative state where the boundaries between individuals become blurred, leading to enmeshment or codependency.
When two individuals in a romantic relationship are described as "fused," it could imply that they have become overly dependent on each other, losing their sense of individuality or autonomy. This can lead to difficulties in communication, decision-making, and personal growth, as the couple may prioritize the relationship over their own needs and desires.
It's important to clarify the context when using terms like "fusion" to avoid confusion or misinterpretation, particularly when discussing psychological concepts in everyday language. In the context of relationships, "fusion" might be better replaced with terms like "enmeshment" or "codependency" to accurately convey the potential negative aspects of overly close or dependent relationships.
For the understanding and personal discernment of Seekers, Adepts, and others; should One use the word in normal conversation with friends and family, ensure they understand the difference in meanings lest more confusion be added where none is intended.
In psychotherapy, particularly within the framework of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), "fusion" refers to a psychological phenomenon where individuals become overly identified or entangled with their thoughts, feelings, memories, or sensations. It often leads to distress and dysfunction as individuals may believe that their thoughts define who they are, and they may struggle to disentangle themselves from negative thoughts and emotions.
On the other hand, in our Law of One material, "fusion" has a completely different meaning. Since we know that the Law of One is a series of channeled texts that discuss spiritual concepts and the nature of reality, we should endeavor to help bridge understanding of these words.
In our Law of One context, "fusion" refers to the process of spiritual evolution where individual entities merge or unite with higher levels of consciousness or with a higher aspect of themselves.
Additionally, in our Law of One understanding, "fusion" represents a state of unity and integration, where the individual self becomes aligned with the universal or cosmic consciousness. It is considered by us to be a transcendental concept related to spiritual growth and enlightenment, rather than a psychological concept related to cognitive or emotional processes.
So, while both uses of the term "fusion" involve a merging or uniting of elements, they operate in entirely different domains: psychotherapy focusing on the mind and emotions, and the Law of One focusing on spiritual evolution and cosmic consciousness.
I hope this has been of assistance in yOur progression and journeys.
Adonai.

Hi everyone! I’m a prospective 2026 applicant dedicating this summer to writing my personal statement (materials are due in December to receive a letter packet + portfolio from my school). For background, I was diagnosed with hEDS, Pain Amplification Syndrome, POTS, and a lot of other issues after sustaining my first concussion eight years ago. As a result of my experience, I decided to become a chronic pain advocate several years ago— currently, I serve on a peer advisory board and guest speaker for a pediatric pain rehabilitation workshop program, and I also serve as a panel member for a NIH HEAL initiative. These two experiences are major parts of my journey to medicine. How do I go about talking about chronic pain advocacy without focusing too much on my personal pain and disability? My personal experience has also been important, but advocacy has been the most fulfilling part of my life.

Ever feel like your spirit guides or past loved ones try to facilitate new beginnings and opportunities (first day of work, trips, e.g.,) to help onboard you smoothly? Almost because they hear your affirmations and prayers and want to and will gladly intervene and intercede when necessary. I started a whole new job in a totally different field (I was previously a teacher) and began a new career path in the medical billing department. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a “professional” setting as I was working remotely this last year, and forget how isolated I actually was, away from people.
The first person I met in my department office is so sweet. So sweet to the point where I was opening up to her and maybe shared a little too personal of things for work. After work, I started to introspect myself and my day. It is usually during this period where sometimes my spirit guides or even past loved will offer their input through implanting thoughts and giving me specific feelings that they are there and are listening. I felt my uncle’s presence and got the thoughts, “You have my big mouth and need to be careful.
Some things need to stay at home and do not belong at work. You’re a little rusty, aren’t you?” My maternal papa came through and almost agreed, and I felt his grace and that I got the “benefit of the doubt” this time but my uncle is right; I have to be careful and remember boundaries.
It is funny how even in death, certain loved ones want to still show guidance and authority. I feel blessed to be able to have them and the ability to feel and almost hear what they have to say; they have saved me from a lot of unwanted drama and unnecessary problems over silliness and my quirks. You live and you learn! Tomorrow at work and moving forward I’m keeping my big mouth shut 😂.

Hello, I am researching different Kings of history, including what they're remembered for, their leadership traits, information about their lives, the difficulties they faced, things to take away from their lives, all in the name of becoming more kingly in my own life.
Today, I'd like to share knowledge on King Solomon of Israel, remembered for his wisdom, wealth, and building projects. Solomon's reign, chronicled in biblical texts, provides several lessons on leadership, decision-making, and human nature.

King Solomon

Solomon, son of David, reigned as king of Israel for about 40 years in the 10th century BCE. His reign is often considered the peak of Israel's power and wealth.
Solomon is most celebrated for his exceptional wisdom, granted by God in response to his request for discernment to govern Israel rightly.
His wisdom is exemplified by the famous judgment between two women claiming to be the mother of a child, where Solomon's clever solution revealed the truth.
This event is detailed in the Bible in the First Book of Kings, chapter 3, verses 16-28. It involves two women who came before King Solomon, both claiming to be the mother of a baby.
To resolve the dispute, Solomon proposed a drastic measure: he suggested that the baby be cut in two, with each woman receiving half of the child. This proposal was a test to reveal the true feelings and intentions of the claimants.
One woman immediately agreed to the division, arguing that if she could not have the baby, then neither woman should. However, the other woman, driven by her maternal instinct and true love for the child, begged Solomon to give the baby to the other woman instead, thus sparing the child's life.
Recognizing the genuine concern and love of the second woman for the baby, Solomon declared her the true mother and awarded her custody of the child, exposing the truth through this clever test.
This story is often cited as an example of Solomon's wisdom and his ability to perceive the deeper truths of human nature.

Wisdom in Governance

Solomon's wisdom extended into governance, diplomacy, and economics. His ability to forge alliances through marriages and treaties expanded Israel's influence.
Solomon's most noted alliance was through his marriage to the daughter of the Pharaoh of Egypt. This marriage was a political strategy to secure a powerful ally to the southwest of Israel, helping to stabilize his kingdom's borders and increase trade routes.
Solomon is credited with constructing the First Temple in Jerusalem, a monumental project that not only served as a religious center but also as a symbol of unity and strength for Israel.
Solomon's life was not without its challenges. His numerous alliances, while politically astute, led to domestic unrest and spiritual deviation, as seen in his later years when his adherence to his wives' religions led to idolatry, drawing criticism and divine displeasure.
Here are a few of my takeaways from Solomon's life for personal growth:

The Importance of Wise Decision-Making

Solomon's request for wisdom over wealth or power illustrates the value of prioritizing discernment and understanding in leadership roles.

The Balance of Power and Humility

Solomon's early humility before God highlights the strength in recognizing one's limitations and seeking guidance beyond oneself.

The Consequences of Compromise

His later years serve as a cautionary tale about the dangers of compromising core values and beliefs for short-term gains or pleasures.

Applying Solomon's Lessons

Consider the balance Solomon maintained between wisdom, wealth, and spiritual devotion in his better years.
Emulate his quest for wisdom and understanding in your personal and professional endeavors.
As you reflect on Solomon's life today, think about the areas in your own life where you can apply his lessons of wisdom, leadership, and integrity.
However, remember the pitfalls of compromise and the importance of staying true to your core values and beliefs despite the temptations that success and power may bring.

For the past 2 years I've been REALLY trying to approach music writing different than I ever have and studying all my personal favorite artists that I believe pushed musical boundaries unlike anyone before them. (Devin Townsend, Pink Floyd, The Avalanches, Boards of Canada, Porcupine Tree, Everything Everything, Ween, George Clanton, Dead Can dance) Although this has resulted in the best music I've ever made its still not a new genre, so to speak. I had a conversation with a fellow music colleague over lunch recently and as I was explaining how I was attempting to make a new genre he said "New genres of music come out of certain cultures that a community lives in." THAT REALLY struck me as an epiphany as in "Wow I can't believe I didn't view it that way??" And now I'm trying to figure out how I can harness how our current society is in art form. So with all of that being said, do you agree with that statement? And also who is out there right now pushing musical boundaries?

First time in my life I have dealt with this type of situation, and currently have nobody to talk to about it, so I appreciate you all in advance.
It happened about 6 months ago, right on the eve of our third anniversary as a couple. We had just moved together across the country months earlier; she was starting a Masters program, and i up and moved my life out here with no prospects to be with her and to support her.
Her being in a Masters program, and a very social person, she immediately had a group of friends out here. Me being in the process of finding a job, and having no connections here, I had a very different experience to start with. She was so happy to be a student again, loved hanging out with her classmates all the time, and our social life essentially revolved around her Masters program life, of which I was (and still am) merely an outsider.
Well one night, she was out with her friends, just blocks away from our place. I was home by myself. She got back after 4 AM and came to bed. The next day, she confessed to me that she had hooked up with a girl in her class at the party they were at. Honestly I just wanted to leave and not deal with her at all in that moment, but I just had to know - had they just kissed? No - they penetrated and effectively slept with each other.
I was stunned and confused. On one hand, for some reason her cheating on me with a woman felt like it stung slightly less than another man. But at the same time, she and I had long talked about her bisexuality, and it was part of her that she took seriously and wanted people to respect. So in that sense, I reasoned in my head, there really was no difference if it was a man or a woman - she is attracted to both just the same.
Having just moved across the country into our first place together, I felt like I was in a terrible place. If this had happened back in the city where we first had met and spent our first 2.5 years, I don't know if I would have stayed with her. But a lot went into my decision to move here with her - it was a leap of faith and a sign of how strongly I felt about our relationship. I felt, in that moment, that I basically couldn't just end the relationship there, now living by myself in a new city with no connections and still job searching.
She apologized to be over and over, and the fact that it was a drunken mistake rather than a full on fling did ease the pain slightly. But I have been really struggling with the feelings around it since then. I went back to therapy to try and help with it, and have had some logistical issues that have led to me not making the progress I would have wanted.
But I think part of what I have really struggled with, is her complete lack of doing anything to make amends or to actively reflect on her behavior. I said to her at the time; clearly you have some confusing feelings here that would lead you to do something like this. You need a professional to help you walk through those feelings and better understand why you would do this to us - you need to go back to therapy. She agreed at the time, but has not made any effort to do so, in spite of me bringing it up multiple times.
You would think maybe she stopped partying with her friends, right? Not at all. In fact, she would (and still does) stay out past 2 drinking and hanging out with them regularly. And while I don't begrudge her spending time with friends, I have told her that her being out that late with these same people gives me great stress and just reminds me of these fresh wounds. In spite of that, she hasn't slowed up whatsoever.
My point here is that I almost feel like I have been too forgiving, or let her off the hook to easy. If I could re-live my reaction to this news, I would have been much more cut and dry about what I would need her to do to earn back my trust and keep me from leaving. Instead, I feel like I have just let her continue her life as usual while I am stuck here holding these terrible feelings. Can I approach her with these thoughts now, 7 months later? Or do I become an asshole for holding her mistake over her?
I just feel so isolated here with these thoughts. Every time she is with her friends drinking I cannot help but have my mind drift into ways she might betray me again.

Moving to a location under a Venus or Jupiter line in astrocartography can be appealing, as these planets are traditionally associated with positive experiences. Venus is often linked to love, beauty, harmony, and pleasure, while Jupiter is associated with growth, expansion, luck, and abundance. However, relocating solely based on these "good" lines without considering the complexities of one's natal chart and personal goals can be overly simplistic and potentially misleading. Here's how to approach this with more depth:
Understand the Natal Chart: Before considering relocation, thoroughly analyze your natal chart. Each planet, aspect, and house position carries unique potentials and challenges. How Venus and Jupiter are positioned and aspected in your natal chart will significantly influence how their energies manifest in different locations.
Assess Planetary Strengths and Challenges:

• If Venus or Jupiter are well-aspected in your natal chart, moving to their lines may enhance their positive qualities. For instance, a well-aspected Venus could mean beneficial experiences in relationships and aesthetic pursuits.
• Conversely, if these planets are afflicted or poorly aspected, their lines might not bring the expected benefits and could even amplify challenges.

Consider Personal Growth and Goals:

• Relocating under a Venus or Jupiter line might be beneficial if you're seeking growth in areas governed by these planets (like relationships, arts, or education).
• However, if your goals or areas for personal development lie elsewhere, a different planetary influence might be more appropriate.

Navigating Difficult Aspects or Placements:

• If you have already learned to navigate difficult Venus or Jupiter aspects or placements in your chart, moving to a Venus or Jupiter line might help you capitalize on these lessons, offering opportunities to apply your skills in a more supportive environment.
• At the same time, if you're still working through challenges related to aspets to these planets, consider how move to one of these lines might impact your growth. Sometimes, working through difficulties is part of your developmental journey.

Balancing the Chart:

• Moving to a Venus or Jupiter line might not balance your chart if it’s already heavy with Venusian or Jovian energy. Sometimes, what's needed for growth is exposure to different, more challenging influences.
• For instance, if you have a strong Venus but lack Saturnian discipline, moving to a Saturn line might provide a necessary counterbalance, fostering maturity and responsibility.

Contextualize within Life Phases:

• Consider the timing and phase of life you are in. Different planetary energies might be more appropriate at different times. For instance, Jupiter might be more beneficial during a phase of expansion and exploration, while Venus could be more supportive during a period focusing on relationships or creative pursuits.

Seek Professional Guidance: Astrocartography is complex, and professional guidance from an experienced astrologer can provide personalized insights and help avoid oversimplified interpretations.
While Venus and Jupiter lines might offer positive experiences, it's crucial to consider the full context of your natal chart, personal development, and specific life goals. Astrocartography should be used as a tool for self-awareness and growth, rather than a simplistic solution for relocation decisions.

There's no strict limit over what types of advice can be sought; it can pertain to general anxiety over virginity, specific romantic situations, or concern that you're drifting toward misogynistic/blackpill lines of thought. Please go to SuicideWatch for matters pertaining to suicidal ideation, as we simply can't guarantee that the people here will have sufficient resources to tackle such issues.
As for rules pertaining to the advice givers: all the sub-wide rules are still in place, but these posts will also place emphasis on avoiding what is often deemed "normie platitudes." Essentially, it's something of a nebulous categorization that will ultimately come down to mod discretion, but it should be easy to understand. Simply put, aim for specific and personalized advice. Don't say "take a shower" unless someone literally says that they don't shower. Ask "what kind of exercise do you do?" instead of just saying "Go to the gym, bro!"
Furthermore, top-level responses should only be from people seeking advice. Don't just post what you think romantically unsuccessful people, in general, should do. Again, we're going for specific and personalized advice.
These threads are not a substitute for professional help. Other's insights may be helpful, but keep in mind that they are not a licensed therapist and do not actually know you. Posts containing obvious trolling or harmful advice will be removed. Use your own discretion for everything else.
Please message the moderators with any questions or concerns.

The purpose of this sub-reddit is to connect users/students with top quality academic freelance writers. The other purpose of this sub-reddit is to promote the ethical use of academic writing services to create research/model projects. Below I will list ways to intelligently use the products you receive, as well as the benefits!

• Use the papers you purchase as a guide to writing your own original essay!

Students should use the papers they buy as research guides as opposed to turning it in. Sometimes it's difficult to start an essay and think of talking points for your body paragraphs. By hiring a writer to create a model essay on your topic, you can analyze the points they made throughout, as well as utilize the sources they found!
Having an expert crafted paper as a guide also allows you to develop supporting points, possible rebuttals to include, closing statements, as well as acting as inspiration to build off the content that's already presented.

• Helps you understand a topic and can be used to study for exams!

Purchasing writing services/products also benefits you by acting as a study sheet for upcoming exams or tests. The projects you receive from experts in the subject will allow you to receive the content in an organized and structured manner. For example, hiring a molecular biology expert to write a paper on cell division will act as a tremendous guide to study for upcoming exams on Cell division, mitosis, etc. Especially if your teacher isn't particularly helpful in explaining certain things you struggle with!

• For academic blogs/businesses

We have a handful of legit academic journals and websites that utilize academic content writing for articles and SEO benefits! Hiring freelance writers with legit credentials in their field can add legitimacy to academic blogs, businesses, or social media pages.
We've had a few writers on this sub contacted by professional academic journals to take part in works that have been published with major universities or editorials!
READ BELOW
Please remember discussion or implying academic dishonesty in your post is against Reddit and Essay_Writing_service policies!

I was a recovering finsub. Years ago, I was financially abused by a Mistress who used a debt contract to systematically extract as much money from me as possible. While I was able to get out of the contract, it took almost every cent I had. In the end, I paid double the original amount due to all the usury terms.
I told my cautionary tale online and received a lot of comments. Most of the feedback was from Dommes and they were generally supportive. One was so touched by my experience that she wanted to help me out. She proposed that I enter into a contract with her. It wasn’t a typical debt contract. It was an arrangement where I would give her a lump sum of money for her to invest with. After a set time period, she would return the money to me. And whatever returns she made through investments would be hers to keep. It seemed like a zero-risk way to engage in findom.
She drafted up a lengthy contract. As she was a paralegal, this came naturally for her. But the 24-page contract was overwhelming for me. She summarized it for me so I could easily understand. I would transfer $50,000 to her account. After 6 months, the $50,000 would be returned to me minus a “variable maintenance fee” starting at 2%. Since she was only keeping profits, she reasoned the large initial amount was necessary to make it worth her time. And at 2%, $1000 seemed more than fair to serve her for 6 months. We agreed to the terms and we both signed the contract.
At the end of every month, she sent me statements detailing the financial performance of her portfolio. I could see she was very savvy financially. I always looked forward to these statements and watching her wealth grow.
When the 6-month period came to an end, I asked her how she would return the funds to me. To my shock, she told me she wasn’t going to return it, at least not at that time. She was exercising her option to extend the contract for an additional month. When I protested, she pointed to a clause that either one of us was able to do this unilaterally. She also reminded me that exiting the contract required agreement from both parties, despite what the original time period was. So without a mutual agreement, by default the contract would keep extending for an additional month. And each monthly extension required a special maintenance fee from me.
I felt the situation was dire. These extra maintenance fees, while minor, would eat into the initial funds. But that soon became the least of my worries. After three more months of having the same conversation, I had the sinking feeling I was never going to see my money again. That’s when she seemed to take some pity on me and suggested a way we could end the contract sooner rather than later. Although she had been investing aggressively, she wasn’t quite at her financial goals. She told me an additional $20,000 from me would expedite things. Figuring I only had to temporarily send an additional $20,000 to get all my money back, it seemed like a good deal. So we amended the contract from $50,000 to $70,000. I transferred $20,000 to her account.
I didn’t know exactly how much faster it would be, but I didn’t expect it to be a year. In that year we never talked. She did keep sending me monthly statements, but I eventually ignored those as I completely lost interest. I had mentally made my stand. I was no longer going to give her any more money. I was no longer going to be her fool. But my proud moment was for nothing. I knew she had the last laugh.
After a year, she unexpectedly contacted me. She let me know that she intended to end the contract, assuming I would agree. We subsequently signed the exit clause. When I asked about the money, she dropped a bomb on me. I was not getting my money back. I, in fact, owed her another $24,893.49. It was those variable maintenance fees. She expressed surprise that I didn’t object whenever the percentage changed, which was within my rights. I quickly scanned through the statements from the past year. The percentage had been well over 2% for a while. And month after month, the fees were cumulative. The fees were also compounded with interest. I neglected to realize that once the fees had dwindled the $70,000 to zero, I was actually on the hook to pay the fees every month.
I sank in despair as I couldn’t come to grips with the math. Knowing I didn’t have $25,000 to spare, she proposed a straightforward solution: a standard debt contract. In the end I would end up paying at least $95,000 in total to a Domme who was trying to help me. She suggested we just round it up to $100,000.

I [35F, FTM, 33w] injured my back 3 weeks ago and now trying to realistic goals for the rest of the pregnancy. Any advice is welcome.
I’ve been relatively active the whole pregnancy, doing 20 min of daily prenatal yoga, 20-30 min of Peloton biking x2/week, and a weekly prenatal fitness class. But I was naive and careless. At 29 weeks I danced at a wedding, which likely tightened/weakened my back (I had an injury 5 years ago). 2 days later I was getting off my Peloton after a low impact ride and ended up on the floor in severe back pain, unable to bear any weight. An unpleasant trip to ER later, I was discharged with a mediocre pain relief plan (can’t take most pain meds while pregnant), a walker, and a bedside commode.
2.5 weeks later I can finally walk without a walker for more than 15 min. I feel super weak, tight, and short of breath. I’m doing virtual PT exercises, and have an in-person appt later this week. But this PT is a generalist and I don’t know if he knows how to treat pregnant people… The soonest I will see a pelvic PT is in June. My OB has been useless in helping me because she is “not a sports specialist”. I had to find all the referrals myself.
My question is: how can I heal and regain strength asap? Everyone tells me to take it easy, but I have only 7 weeks left. My last back injury took months to heal…
What kind of exercises can I do safely? Should I follow recommendations from this generalist PT or try to find (how??) someone who has prenatal expertise? I found a prenatal personal trainer but not sure if I should work with her or PT first… I’m afraid of reinjurying my back during labor, and want to be as strong as possible for the baby.
Has anyone dealt with this?

Welcome to this non-real time meeting of Overeaters Anonymous! I’m rokayokay3. I’m a compulsive eater and your leader for this meeting. Will those who wish, please join me in the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
Overeaters Anonymous is a Fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength, and hope, are recovering from compulsive overeating. We welcome everyone who wants to stop eating compulsively. There are no dues or fees for members; we are self-supporting through our own contributions, neither soliciting nor accepting outside donations. OA is not affiliated with any public or private organization, political movement, ideology, or religious doctrine; we take no position on outside issues. Our primary purpose is to abstain from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors and to carry the message of recovery through the Twelve Steps of OA to those who still suffer.
Our Invitation to You
The Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous
Abstinence in Overeaters Anonymous is the action of refraining from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors while working towards or maintaining a healthy body weight. Spiritual, emotional, and physical recovery is the result of living the Overeaters Anonymous Twelve Step program.
The OA tools of recovery help us work the Steps and refrain from compulsive overeating. The nine tools are: a plan of eating, sponsorship, meetings, telephone, writing, literature, an action plan, anonymity, and service. For more information, read The Tools of Recovery OA page.
Sponsorship is one of our keys to success. Sponsors are OA members committed to abstinence and to living the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions to the best of their ability. Sponsors share their program up to the level of their experience and strengthen their recovery through this service to others. To find a sponsor, look for someone who has what you want and ask how he or she is achieving it. Will all abstinent sponsors please identify themselves in their post?
According to our Seventh Tradition, we are self-supporting through our own contributions. Our group number is 99038. Please use the group number when making your contribution. As our virtual group currently has no expenses please consider donating directly through this link to the OA World Service Office, who provides resources for OA groups all around the world to carry the message to other compulsive overeaters.
Suggested guidelines for sharing: As you share your experience and strength in OA, please also share your hope. Please confine your sharing to your experience with the disease of compulsive eating, the solution offered by OA, and your own recovery from the disease, rather than just the events of the day or week. When responding to other member’s posts, please focus on your personal experience rather than advice giving. If you are having difficulties, share how you use the program to deal with them. If you need to talk more about your difficulties and seek solutions, we suggest you speak to your sponsor and other members after the meeting.
**This is a literature meeting. Today we are studying the Big Book of Alcohol Anonymous page 12*
My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, “Why don’t you choose your own conception of God?”
That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. i stood in the sunlight at last.
It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. I saw that growth could start from that point. Upon a foundation of complete willingness I might build what I saw in my friend. Would I have it? Of course I would!
Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. At long last I saw, I felt, I believed. Scales of pride and prejudice fell from my eyes. A new world came into view.
Closing By following the Twelve Steps, attending meetings regularly, and using the OA Tools, we are changing our lives. You will find hope and encouragement in Overeaters Anonymous. To the newcomer, we suggest attending at least six different meetings to learn the many ways OA can help you. The opinions expressed here today are those of individual OA members and do not represent OA as a whole. Let us all reach out by private message to newcomers, returning members, and each other. Together we get better.

I have wasted alot of my personal time on using wrong AI tools, so i decided to test them and update top AI tools weekly for the community which are not gimmicks and actually deliver what they promise. i am trying to cover different range and only include tools that can be real game changers. Feel free to add any new underrated tools you found that can actually help.

Marketing & Branding

1. Waxwing: It give's you access to thousands of case studies and trends to plan and execute your marketing. It can be very useful cause it can help you create some good strategies based on your particular niche, it studies the market for you.
2. Logome: Quickly craft your perfect logo and brand kit with AI. Its mostly beneficial for SaaS companies but still giving it a try wont be bad. You can possibly save some time brainstorming the design.
3. Creatie: this is like all-in-one AI-powered product design tool. this is no-brainer , if you want to design professional creatives for your brand, just go with this. you can use this to design all your brand. this is one of the best amongst the competitors (my opinion!)
4. Linearity Move: good at creating powerful animations. If you can spend some time in giving it the right prompts, this can save you some money. This is not new , but now the user interface is smoother than ever before. But this requires more input than any other tools but can be a game changer for your brand.

Finance

1. IntellectiaAi: Smarter AI-driven stock research to boost your investments. Its getting better and obviously cant trust it with everything. But someone new to finance, this can be pretty useful and the tool has a decent accuracy. (AGain! its important to be cautious when using any stock research tools)
2. AlphaSense: Finds trends and changes in finance. User experience is still not most friendly but if use it for a while you will get the hang of it, it can pretty much analyse anything and good thing is that it porvides many integrations so u can stick to the same platform for almost everything.

Web Design & SaaS

1. StaarterDev: Save 50+ hours on your next SaaS project with its game-changing features.
2. Framer AI: If you want to create a good looking but simple website. and tbh most of the businesses do not require super detailed websites with a heavy backend, so you can give it a try.
3. Durable: web builder for fast site launches.

Planning and Productivity

1. AFFiNE AI: for better writing, drawing, and presenting. new features are really cool! must try.
2. Findr: Search across all your apps like Slack, Notion, Gmail from one place.
3. Loom AI Workflows: Turn Loom videos into docs instantly.

And there are many more……
curated weekly most relevant AI tools, updates and exclusive opportunities (include Jobs) for the AI niches to always stay ahead. Here
Thanx! feel free to add more tools you found recently :)

Hey everyone,
This is really just me venting and needing a space to let the thoughts in my mind go. You can ignore this post if you want but if you feel interested, please be my guest to stay and read but be warned as I'm not sure but it could be triggering to some people. I don't know but air on the side of caution.
All my life, I've always grew up feeling not "the same" as those around me. I was even ostracized by those around me and even if I tried, I felt awkward and like I'm lying to myself. Those around me probably felt the uncanney valley feeling with my attempts as well. No matter what, it was a lost cause.
That doesn't change the fact I try to find my own way and niche in life. Trying to carve out my own path that makes me feel confident, happy, and uniquely present. But even when I do, I feel like I can never fully "reach" that goal of "being". Being as in outwardly projecting the internal person I am. For me to feel as if my external self matches my internal self.
Below, I'll begin to give more specific instances that I do to compare myself to others if you would like a better insight into what I mean personally to me.
I try to change up my hair but it never comes out right due to my sebhorhoeic dermatitis, the fact that I truly have no one around me that can do my hair properly, and the fact that I can't keep up with it. I look at others around me who have healthy, beautiful hair that I would love to have and it makes me feel terrible about myself. Makes me feel as if I'm less than or not taking care of my hygiene when I know very good and well that it's because I have a skin condition that makes it difficult. Not only that, with me being black and having thick, 4c hair, doing my hair isn't cheap. Taking care of my hair isn't cheap. Having others do my hair isn't cheap. And I struggle with money already due to so many other things. So it's like I'm at a constant battle of trying to be confident with what I have but looking at others and being ashamed of myself.
Another example is clothing. Like I said previously, money is an obstacle in my life and always has so I haven't ever really been able to have clothing that makes me confident and happy up until recently in the last few years. Problem with that though is like I said before, I feel like I'm doing enough or don't have enough or not "doing it properly". I love fashion. I'm actively into fashion, but I can't dress well because the clothing I would like to wear doesn't come in my size. I'm a small man with a smaller waist and interesting proportions and so clothes are always too big. People tell me to shop in the boys section but that's the thing, I can't. I'm too big for boys clothes and too small for men's. I'm in the middle ground and it makes me upset. It's like I'd have to get my clothes tailored or look far and wide, online only, to then come up empty handed or articles that are way too expensive for me to purchase in my range. And I've tried thrifting but there's nothing for me in my area that I would like to wear or would fit me. So I look at other people around me dressing well, doing what I would love to do and it echos in my mind and makes me feel like I'm not fit to even try.
It even comes down to my face or my body. Looking at it and hyperfocusing on it and not appreciating who I am enough and being confident in physical self. The dermatitis making me feel disgusting at points. Me not liking my assymetrical features. Me thinking that others believe I'm ugly and so on and so on.
It's bothersome and I wish I didn't care or was just happy with myself. But because I feel like everything that I want for myself is obtainable, it makes me just disappointed in myself.

title
is this bad. i have like 50....