Bad vinyl sidding pictures

Title says all, I'm a 23m reservist trying to use dating apps and the only decent full body pictures I have of myself as well as group photos are universally me in uniform doing stuff. For those who are also in the military no they are not all "moto" pics, most of them are just me standing around with the boys or in front of cool scenery. Or me looking like I've not slept in 3 days.
I'm pretty introverted so I don't really make a habit out of taking pictures of myself, on top of that all my home hobbies are "nerdy" and digital so I can't really take pictures of myself doing them. Most of my current friends are actually in my unit, but they all live hours away from me so we usually just wait till we are at drill to talk. Because of this only interesting photos I do take are usually involving me doing military things or riding my dirt bikes. Since they are better than me taking a picture of myself at my desk with a blank face and a headset on, I kind of have to use them.
I just feel like the military is stigmatized a lot nowadays, I don't really blame people for it but at the same time I feel like I'm a bad guy when I just needed a job to get me on my feet out of HS. Anyways, I'm curious to see what girls around my age think of it. Thank you for reading.

• We started with the two federal lawsuits filed last Thursday, seeking to block Iowa from enforcing Senate File 2340, the immigration law that creates a new state crime of “illegal reentry.” You can read the federal government’s lawsuit here and the case filed on behalf of Iowa Migrant Movement for Justice and two individuals here. I have a post in progress at Bleeding Heartland on why the state will struggle to show this law is constitutional;
• One key issue in both lawsuits: Iowa’s law makes no allowance for the reality that the federal government may grant permission for someone to be in this country, even if they were removed or deported in the past;
• Responding to the lawsuit, Governor Kim Reynolds cited her “responsibility to protect the citizens of Iowa. Since President Biden refuses to enforce our nation’s immigrationlaws – threatening the safety of our citizens – Iowa will step in.” Similarly, Attorney General Bird said, “Iowa stands ready to defend our immigration law that keeps Iowa communities safe”;
• I previewed one of the key legal arguments for the state, which Republican legislators put forward during the House and Senate debates. The concept is that the U.S. Constitution allows states to defend themselves against an “invasion,” and GOP politicians claim undocumented immigration amounts to an invasion of this country;
• Contrary to the idea that SF 2340 will keep Iowans safe, Marshalltown Police chief Michael Tupper submitted a declaration for one lawsuit explaining why “it undermines public safety” when the immigrant community believes local police will engage in immigration enforcement;
• Many of the arguments in these cases overlap, and U.S. District Court Judge Stephen Locher has consolidated a hearing on the motions for a preliminary injunction, which is set for June 10;
• Iowa became a plaintiff in yet another lawsuit against the Biden administration last week. This case, involving six GOP-led states that are part of the Eighth Circuit Court of Appeals, challenges the U.S. Department of Education’s latest rule related to Title IX protections for LGBTQ students. Republicans dispute that Title IX’s prohibition of sex discrimination should encompass discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity;
• Bird was spotted on Monday morning outside the criminal court where Donald Trump’s trial continues in Manhattan. The Attorney General’s office hasn’t answered any of my questions about the trip, but a spokesperson told the Des Moines Register’s Brianne Pfannenstiel “no taxpayer money had been used to fund her travel.” Bird spoke briefly to reporters outside the courthouse to call the case a “travesty” designed to keep Trump off the campaign trail;
• George wondered if state political leaders traveling across the country was going to be the “new normal.” I won’t be surprised to see Bird appearing with Trump in other venues this year. She’s been the former president’s top Iowa surrogate since Governor Reynolds endorsed and actively campaigned for Florida Governor Ron DeSantis;
• Moving to legislative news, the governor continues to sign more laws the legislature approved last month. Last week, she signed Senate File 2251, one of the bills she proposed, extending postpartum Medicaid coverage for thousands of Iowa women while excluding thousands of women from pregnancy or postpartum coverage;
• I’ve been wanting to talk about House File 626 for a while, but I don’t think Dennis and I ever got to it during the legislative session. Starting next year, this law will prohibit insurance companies from forcing a change to someone’s prescription medications in the middle of a coverage year, if the patient is stable on the drug and a health care provider continues to prescribe it. I enjoy stories like this, which have a major lobbying component. You might think this bill is not controversial, because it passed both chambers nearly unanimously. But advocates had to work for at least seven years to get it to the Iowa Senate floor, due to strong opposition from the insurance lobby;
• Here’s an update on a bill that particularly affects mothers. Natalie Krebs reported for Iowa Public Radio last week on contracts signed with four groups that will provide services under the “More Options for Maternal Support” (MOMS) program, which funnels taxpayer dollars to crisis pregnancy centers. Senate File 2252, which the governor signed in April, allows the Iowa Department of Health and Human Services to administer this program directly;
• Reynolds signed the remaining appropriations bills last week, which set spending levels for the fiscal year beginning on July 1. On this program I wanted to highlight a couple of big picture points: Reynolds did not use her item veto power at all, which illustrates how Republicans closely coordinate budgeting with the governor’s office these days. They don’t put anything important in appropriations bills without her approval;
• Second, the $8.9 billion state budget for fiscal year 2025 will spend only about 80 percent of projected state revenues. By law, legislators are allowed to allocate up to 99 percent of projected revenue, but Republicans are building huge surpluses into the budget in order to cover future tax cuts;
• The June 4 primary fast approaches, and I wanted to flag the early voting deadlines for listeners. You can vote early in person starting May 15, and county auditors will start mailing out absentee ballots on the same day. Whether you vote early or on the primary election day, remember to bring some form of voter ID with you. If you need to change your address or register for the first time, bring proof of address as well as a valid ID;
• Moving back to state government news, Bird held a press conference on Friday to announce she was creating a new task force on antisemitism. Oddly, her office still hasn’t released a full list of task force members. I was able to confirm over the weekend that none of the three current state legislators who are Jewish were invited to participate;
• On the environmental front, there was good news and bad news connected to the heavy rain Iowa has seen in recent weeks. Jared Strong reported for Iowa Capital Dispatch that “For the first time in nearly two years, no part of Iowa has extreme drought”;
• Now for the bad news: the rain has flushed a lot of nitrate off fields and into Iowa waterways. Strong reported on this problem for Iowa Capital Dispatch as well;
• Excessive levels of nitrate in water has been associated with blue baby syndrome and certain cancers; I recently republished some in-depth reporting by Keith Schneider on the possible link between farm chemicals and high cancer rates in Palo Alto County;
• A quick bit of Congressional news: all four Iowans in the U.S. House helped save House Speaker Mike Johnson’s job last week;
• We didn’t have time to dig in to the details, but researchers from Princeton University have demonstrated that Iowa’s “Education Savings Accounts” (school voucher) program led to tuition increases at many private schools. Stay tuned, because I will have more to say about these findings on the May 20 program.

LONG POST WARNING
Hello everyone,
My partner (24F) and I (25M) returned home from our 3-week Japan trip last week and due to us using this sub a lot during our planning I thought it would be helpful for other current planners to upload a trip report.
Our main interests are Japanese traditions and history, street style/culture, and food so keep reading if these interests are mutual. Read to the bottom to see how much we spent plus some tips and disappointments.
Prelude
We were caught up in the madness at Dubai airport during our layover. Long story short; Airport (and the rest of Dubai) flooded and caused all the flights to be cancelled. What was meant to be a 5-hour layover turned into a torturous 36 hour wait. No staff to be seen, crowds of people arguing, fighting, and crying. We queued for 12 hours to get a new boarding pass for the next flight to Japan. We were meant to fly to Haneda but settled for Narita as we needed to get out of that place as soon as possible but still ended up missing our first day in Tokyo (should have had 5 days). We can’t complain too much as some of the people I spoke to on emirates were in the airport for up to 5 days before getting a flight back to their departure destination. Oh, and our baggage was missing with us only receiving our checked in bags on day 19. Cheers Emirates.
Day 1
Arrived in Shinjuku around midnight. We went straight to Don Quiojte to buy some replacement cosmetics and clothes. The combination of no good-quality sleep for 48 hours and the stimulating nature of the store was very intense! We then started to walk back towards the hostel and passed a Ichiran, so dropped in for some 2am ramen. Not the best ramen I’ve ever had but was still very good for the price.
Steps: 21,643 (includes some airport steps)
Day 2
Woke up and ate the free breakfast at the hostel (this turned out to be a really good money saver for the whole trip as we are not huge eaters in the morning anyway, but it was good to get something light in us before a long day walking). We then walked through the Shinjuku Gyoen Garden – saw some late blooming cheery blossoms and overall, it was a really beautiful botanical garden.
The next stop was Meji Shrine and a walk through Yoyogi park. The shrine was cool to see, especially as it was our first one in Japan. Saw a middle-aged man wearing denim hotpants so short that his balls were hanging out?!?!
Walked to Shibuya to see the scramble. This was cool but also felt it was a bit underwhelming at ground level but the view from Shibuya station walkway was wicked. Lunch was at a conveyor belt sushi place on the top floor of this department store right next to the scramble. This would be higher than average quality sushi in Europe, so it blew our minds that it was available on the top floor of a department store and for so cheap.
Shimokitazawa – We picked up some bargains at 2^nd street and I treated myself some Japanese jeans from a small Demin shop called Bears. The guy in the shop was super helpful and friendly and even tailored the trousers to exactly my size.
In the evening, we first had a poke around Golden Gai and then headed towards Shibuya and stopped in a cool bar where the owner was mixing vinyl while he mixed your drinks (think it was called Q Bar).
We had previously bought tickets to a gig at Circus for one of my fav rappers who I’d been wanting to see for a while. Also really enjoyed seeing the local Japanese warm up acts. Stayed until 5am and then go the train straight to the Tsukiji outer fish market. Was there way too early and had to wait roughly an hour for thing to open. Went to chill by a bench for a bit and by the time we went back to the market it was rammed! Went to bed around 8:30am.
Steps: 32,159
Day 3
We woke up at 2:30pm, got ready, and headed to the Bunkyo civic centre for the free observation deck. We heard it wasn’t meant to be the best Tokyo skyline view but for a free attraction we thought it was very good! Jimbocho book town was also very cool to see. We had a peak into a couple adult movie/magazine stores where I don’t think the owner appreciated our presence as western tourists.
In the evening, we first went for Ramen at Motenashi Kuraki in Asakusa Bashi. Honestly probably the best Ramen I’ve had to date. I ordered the Black Pepper Shio special, and it blew my mind. Even though the staff didn’t speak English they were very accommodating for my partner who doesn’t eat meat (pescetarian but will brave a meaty broth).
We then had a stroll around Akihabara and played some dance mat games in the arcades before heading back for an earlyish night.
Steps: 28,680
Day 4
I couldn’t sleep so got up around 3am and did some admin stuff to try and get our bags back to us ASAP. Chatted to people in the hostel for a few hours.
We arrived at Senso-ji for around 8am. Wasn’t too busy at this time and the temple was impressive. Went for a coffee down the road and had a chill for about an hour before heading into Asakusa. Got admission to the Drum museum which was wicked. Only 400 yen each and had the whole place to ourselves to smack some big fucking drums and make as much noise as we wanted.
We then started to head towards Ueno but made a slight detour to Kappabashi Dougu street to peruse the Japanese chef knives and other cookware. Grabbed lunch from a 7/11 and went and sat in Ueno park which was super busy. There was some food market event on which loads of food stalls had set up. There was also a stage with some J-pop performers and people dressed as ninjas dancing in the crowd. Weird to say the least. By mid-afternoon we were pretty tired so headed back to the hostel for a nap.
In the evening, we headed down to Harajuku and stopped by Big Love records. My partner is really into vinyl, so this was definitely a highlight for her. She picked up Wu Tang 36 chambers in case you were wondering. We then went for food at Afuri as my partner wanted to try the Vegan ramen to which she said it was ok but nothing special. My cold dipping noodle dish was very tasty, however. We then stumbled across this vinyl listening bar called Bar Music on the 5^th floor of this pokey building on the outskirts of Shibuya for a few drinks before bed. There was such a good vibe in there and the cocktails were super good for the price. If you’re looking for a romantic spot, then this is the place to go.
Steps: 31,818
Day 5
Today we headed to Kyoto on the shinkansen around midday after a slow morning chilling in and around the hostel and catching up on some sleep. Checked in to the hostel and had a walk around downtown Kyoto, stopping at 2^nd Street to buy some more clothes.
In the evening, we headed to Kodai-Ji to see the shrine lit up at night. We couldn’t believe how few people were there as it was stunning and truly magical place to be at night. It also has a bamboo grove (much better than Arashiyama, see below). The bar for Kyoto shrines/temples had been set very high.
Walked down Pontocho alley and stopped at a yakitori restaurant which was just ok. We knew it was going to be average when we looked around the restaurant and it was just western tourists dining.
Steps: 25,255
Day 6
First thing in the morning we rented bikes and cycled across the city to Arashiyama. Parked the bikes at the train station and walked up through Arashiyama. We were expecting it to be busy but there were so many people it was almost impossible to move. Had a look around the bamboo grove and was slightly underwhelmed after our visit to Kodai-Ji so we took the tram and then bus up to Kosan-Ji. This was very much worth the 45-minute journey as there was only one other group there and the temple nestled between the trees overlooking the river was breath-taking. On the whole, Arashiyama was way too packed during peak times to enjoy and with everything else Kyoto has to offer we wouldn’t say it was a must see.
We then picked up the bikes from the train station and cycled back across Kyoto taking the long route to explore and get lost. Once we dropped off the bikes, we went for another explore and this time went into WeGo for more clothes shopping. At this point we’d pretty much matched the amount of clothing that we had packed in our checked-in luggage that was still stuck in Dubai.
After a nap we walked towards the metro and stopped at a Katsu restaurant as we wanted to try something different, and it was pretty good. For the price of 1300 yen each we got so much food/sake and left stuffed.
Fushimi Inari in the evening. Like Kodai-Ji, we would recommend visiting Fushimi Inari at night. Firstly, to help avoid the crowds (we got there around 9pm and there was hardly anybody there) and secondly as seeing it lit up at night is a nice change. It was however slightly creepy at night, especially as it was lightly raining. My partner started to get a bit scared once we saw the signs to be careful of the wild boar and monkeys haha. We didn’t make it to the top of Mt Inari as the rain started to get heavy but still very much enjoyed walking through the hundreds of tori gates, stopping off at the shrines and soaking up the history.
Steps: 23,686
Day 7
Today was a late start as even after 8 hours sleep the 25k plus steps a day was starting to catch up with us.
We took the metro to Shimogamo Shrine in north Kyoto. It was very peaceful and quiet however temple fatigue had definitely set in at this point. We then walked through Kyoto to the beginning of Philosophers path. We had seen on this sub that people recommend skipping it unless its Sakura season however we disagree. The path along the river is so pretty and atmospheric, along with the fish gently swimming along in the river.
Kyoto Hand Crafts Centre – if you have the money then this is a great place to pick up souvenirs.
Pre-booked Sushi Iwa for a 15 course Omakase. The food was amazing, but it came to an eye watering 28k yen each. The difference for our western palettes between mid-range sushi and exceptional sushi is negligible. Nonetheless it was a good experience and I’m glad that we did it.
Steps: 23,751
Day 8
Today was an empty day in terms of things we wanted to do, so used it to walk the city and explore.
We checked out the Nishiki market and ate various fried foods on sticks which were all pretty tasty. We then walked northwards, stopping for coffee before reaching the imperial palace. By this point we were very much bored of temples and structures of similar architecture, but we actually ended up enjoying walking the palace grounds and seeing the buildings more than we thought and would recommend it to those who find themselves in north Kyoto.
A leisurely walk back down towards downtown Kyoto, stopping off at a wicked standing soba joint. Forgotten the name but their curry soba was delicious.
Chao Chao gyozas (only veggie gyoza place we could find) for our evening meal before a night cap at the bar across the road before bed.
Steps: 23,304
Day 9
Shinkansen to Hiroshima arriving around 11am.
Checked into hostel and then went straight to the A-dome, peace memorial and museum. We thought the museum was very moving and captured the horror of the events that unfolded very well. A must see for sure.
Okonomiyaki at Okonomimura and then some vintage clothes shopping in Hondori.
Went back out for food in the evening and ended up getting Okonomiyaki again. This time it we enjoyed it a lot more than we did at lunch (probably because we got it covered in cheese). There are a few streets by Hiroshima station with lots of bars and restaurants on top of each other, much like Golden Gai in Shinjuku, however they are not super touristy and has a more laid-back feel to them.
We then went to some bars in the city centre. The best one we stumbled across was called Tropical Bar Revolucion. It was on the 8^th floor and the smoking balcony overlooked the city. Plus, the beers in there tasted so good and I’m not sure why.
Steps: 23,299
Day 10
A hungover morning. Headed to the Hiroshima National Gardens. Going to some gardens is my go-to hangover activity as its low effort, relaxing, and feels productive. These gardens in particular were great and we really appreciated the signs explaining the history behind the space. Overall, we enjoyed this more than the national gardens in Shinjuku.
Public baths near Dobashi in the afternoon. If you’re feeling brave enough to get your kit off in front of 10s of strangers, then this is a good experience. Male and female baths are separate. Can’t go wrong for 400 yen.
Went for a drink at Bar Pretty and then realised the effect of golden week on trying to get a table walking into a restaurant. Walked around for about an hour with no success so settled for food from a department store food court. Sounds miserable but the food was pretty good for the price, and it was busy in there, so it still had an atmosphere.
Steps: 29,487
Day 11
Miyajima Day. Took the ferry to the island arriving at 10:30am. The Ryokan staff met us at the port and collected our bags to take back to the hotel.
Had a mooch around the port area before doing the hike up Mt Misen. The climb to the top on a hot day is not to be underestimated. Sweating buckets, but the route and the view from the top was amazing and one of the standout highlights of the whole trip.
After descending Mt Misen, we bought some beers, oysters and, ice cream and sat along the beach wall and chilled in the sun for a couple hours. The hotel staff then picked us up from the ferry terminal, we checked in and went straight to the Onsen for a couple hours before dinner. Dinner was a traditional kaiseki meal (with more courses than I can remember) served in the banquet hall with the other guests.
While the staff converted our retro ryokan room and set up the futons we had a few more beers before bed.
Steps: 20,803
Day 12
Today we had a chilled morning on the island, having a stroll and stopping for some coffees. We then took the ferry back to Hiroshima, stopping for Okonomiyaki one more time, before taking the shinkansen to Osaka.
Checked into our hostel near Namba and went out for a walk around 8pm. When looking for somewhere to eat we walked past a sign for a vegetarian Indian restaurant called Shama. After nearly two weeks of pure Japanese food we were craving some variety so decided to head in. Located on the basement floor of a particularly run down looking building the restaurant was not the most glamorous. Barely enough space for 10 people, it was hot in there. A constant stream of people was coming in and out of the restaurant and we were lucky enough to walk in when there were two spaces available. From sitting down at the table to receiving our food we waited just under an hour. This would be enough to put most people off but fuck me the food was good when it did finally arrive. We got a selection of 4 different curries, naan breads and samosa. We left stuffed. If you’re in the area this is definitely a place worth checking out.
Steps: 25,502
Day 13
Our first stop of the day was the Umeda Sky Building. Not suitable if you are scared of heights as the glass elevator made our stomachs drop slightly. The views were impressive but we thought the price was a bit steep at 1500 yen each.
We then spent the afternoon wondering about near Namba and Shinsujibashi dropping into shops and picking up some food.
For dinner we made a reservation for a Mexican restaurant near Dotonbori. Massive margheritas, nachos and enchiladas. The food was great, and it shows by how busy the place was still at 10pm. It had been open since the late 70’s with the décor to match and it had a great atmosphere.
Steps: 27,290
Day 14
Checked out Tsuruhashi and Korea Town. Loved the market – dimly lit maze of numerous food and clothing vendors. Stopped to have some Korean stew and pancakes and it was delicious. One of the best meals of the trip.
Shinsekai in the evening. What I can describe as the armpit of Osaka. We loved it. Dirty? Yes. Rowdy? Yes. Rough around the edges with a red light district to top it all off. We had Kushikatsu to finish the evening off. Fried stuff on a stick – of course it going to be tasty but it wasn’t exactly flavour town.
Steps: 23,777
Day 15
Took the train to Minoh and hiked up the trail to see the waterfall. Hike was easy in comparison to Mt Misen and the waterfall was very cool to see. Had a wonder around Minoh stopping for some lunch at a Ramen bar.
We went to the Team lab botanical gardens in the evening. It was very awe inspiring seeing all the installations lit up.
After sampling Japanese McDonalds (I had a burger where the buns were made out of rice) we went for some drinks at Zerro. We liked this bar a lot, the guys working there were very friendly and it had a good vibe.
We then sat and watched the skaters at triangle park with some beers from the konbini before going to see Dj Masda at Circus until around 4am. This area of Osaka was such a vibe and came back here a few times over our 6 days here. Overall, a very fun evening.
Steps: 26,130
Day 16
Woke up chronically hungover but powered on and went to see a baseball game. You’re allowed to bring food and drink into the stadium (as long as alcohol is in plastic/paper cups) so we grabbed some beers and snacks from family mart. We had no idea what was happening but the atmosphere was electric and we enjoyed getting pissed and cheering.
Had a nap and then went to Hafez for middle eastern food. The food was good but not amazing, nothing in comparison to my local middle eastern restaurant back home. Chilled around the Namba park/Big step area. Loved this area so much, we are big into street fashion and culture so this place really ticked some boxes. Lots of skaters and street wear stores concentrated around here. Got an early night watching Battle Royale back at the hostel.
Steps: 22,065
Day 17
Today we went to the Umeda area. Popped into some shopping centres and had Omurice for lunch. It was tasty but not something I will crave when back home. Good experience trying it though. We then walked through Yodoyobashi along the rivers and got gelato and sat in the rose garden. The sun was beating down and we enjoyed just chilling in the sun eating our ice cream.
Compufunk Records were holding a party in their store. Decent gaff with some very welcoming and kind people to party with until the early hours.
Steps: 21,267
Day 18
We reluctantly left Osaka for Hakone today. Very sad to go but onwards to the next adventure. Took the shinkansen to Odawara and then the Hakone romance car to Gora. Checked into our Ryokan and relaxed in the Onsen for a few hours.
Went for a walk around Gora and had dinner at the Ryokan before watching Predator in bed.
Steps: 16,926
Day 19
Today we did the Hakone Loop, starting early in Gora.
Started with the Open-air museum and it was great. We loved the installation and ended up spending 3 hours slowly making our way round. Got some cool photos as well for the gram.
Ropeway to Lake Ashi. This was absolutely terrifying. You have to swap cable cars 3 times on the way over and the warnings of the service being suspended due to the wind was announced at each stop. I’m not going to ruin the surprise, but one section made me literally freeze in terror due to the winds outside so try to do it on a calm weather day.
We then took the pirate boat (bit underwhelming) across the Lake and stopped for some soba noodles and a wander around. Unfortunately it was way too cloudy to even get a chance at seeing Mt Fuji.
Train to Kamakura and checked into our super cute traditional hostel near the beach.
Dinner at an Izakaya from the hostel owners recommendation. Food great and beers slipped down a treat. First time I tried Yuzu Kosho as well – I’m now addicted to the stuff and literally cover all my food with it.
Steps: 19,512
Day 20
A slow start to the morning. Weather was pretty bad but we still managed to hit all the main sights in Kamakura. Big Buddha was a refreshing sight from the temples. Did some shopping up Komachi Dori. Highlight of the day was Hukokaji temple. It was so peaceful and zen in the rain with its very own matcha tea ceremony backdropped by bamboo forest. This turned out to be our second favourite temple/shrine we visited, just being beaten by Kodaji.
In the evening we went for Sushi at a conveyor belt place. Figured this would probably be my last Japanese sushi of the trip so devoured 7000 yen worth of sushi and beer. Went back to the hostel and invited some of the other guests to drink with us. The owner of the hostel had some bayberry homebrew, so we got stuck into that.
Steps: 20,494
Day 21
Enoshima Island is just a 25 min train from Kamakura. Started off the day by walking to the top of the island to get French toast and a beer with a lovely view across the bay. We then headed up the Sea candle to check out the observation deck, still the illusive Mt Fuji hides behind the clouds.
We then bought admission to the caves beneath the island which was pretty cool. I won’t ruin the surprise but there’s something waiting for you at the end of one of the caves.
Had an explore around the rockpools near the caves and took some cool photos. We then had a pizza with fish on which was pretty crazy. Walked around the island a little bit more and I picked up some more Japanese denim which wasn’t the cheapest but the quality of the trousers are great and will last me a lifetime.
Back to Tokyo in the evening.
Went for Izakaya around Asakusa and popped into a couple bars. One was called Not Suspicious and the whole bar was covered in handwritten notes by patrons. Very touristy but quite cool at the same time. Our favourite was a drawing of Mario saying It’s a Me Muthafucka.
Steps: 25,903
Day 22
First stop was Don Quiojte to pick up some Yuzu Kosho (if you know you know) and weird flavoured KitKats.
Kappabashi Dougu street to purchase a fine Japanese carbon stell Santoku. Honestly in love with this knife so much. The people at the store were very happy to hear exactly what I was looking for and even let me try before you buy on some daikon radish.
While in Asakusa I had to return to the place where I put the best thing in my mouth in Japan. Motenashi Kuroki. Switched it up this time and had their classic Shio ramen plus the duck rice as a side. Honestly this place is amazing, and you have to go there if you have time. They aren’t veggie/pescy friendly so my partner went for one last round of sushi round the corner. We met up at a massage chair parlour and spent 30 mins relaxing in the chairs.
We had a bright idea to watch the sunset one last time so headed over to the rooftop park on a department store in Shibuya. Sipping on an ice cold Kirin, the sun slowly dropped behind the distant mountains and we knew our trip had come to an end. How symbolic.
Flight at 11pm from Haneda.
Steps: 23,187
On reflection:
I honestly think this trip was almost perfect in terms of hitting our interests and travel style. There was a good balance of doing the typical first time visit to Japan sights and activities while still exploring and seeing what we came across in the moment.
It hard to pinpoint exact highlights of the trip as everywhere we visited had so much going for it in different ways. We loved the rugged and trendy vibe to Osaka, and I think this would be the city I would most want to live in for a considerable amount of time (If I had to choose). Miyajima was also stunning and a great overnight trip with the Ryokan experience. We also underestimated how much we would enjoy Kamakura with its laid-back surfer vibe and access to Enoshima Island.
One random memorable moment that has stuck with me was when we landed at Narita airport, we took the limo bus to Shinjuku. As the driver pulled away, all the staff at the station turned and bowed in unison. It felt so special to first observe a culture totally opposite to the one I grew up with and was at this point I knew I had embarked on the trip of a lifetime.
If I could go back and change something I would probably miss out Hakone and do an extra day in one of the major cities. This isn’t because we didn’t enjoy Hakone, but we feel like it’s a place that needs more time to soak in what’s going on around you (plus the weather was bad when we were there). This being said the Open-Air Museum was amazing and we enjoyed it more than the Teamlab botanical gardens so the trip up the mountains was worth it just for that.
So, how much did we spend per person (not inc flights)?
Accommodation - £765pp
Given that we spent a couple nights in Ryokans raising the average price slightly, we were pretty happy with the accommodation costs. We stayed in a mix of private room and shared dorm hostels and pretty much all of them were spot on. Travelling as a couple meant that anywhere with a private room split the price between 2. The only hostel we didn’t like was the one in Hiroshima, there wasn’t anything in particularly wrong with it, there was just a really bad vibe from the owner and other guests.
Transport - £344pp
This includes shinkansen to and from all the major cities as well as our suica top ups for metros and buses. Unless your itinerary is something like 3 days Tokyo, 2 days Osaka 2 days Kyoto then there really isn’t any point getting the JR pass now that the price has increased.
Activities – £280pp
It is hard to give an exact amount for activities and food as 1) I didn’t track what we spent our cash on and 2) my partner and I would take in turns paying for things like temple admission. That being said I’ve allocated 25% of the cash we spent to activities such as temple admission. Activities includes our baseball tickets plus club entries as well as temple and museum admissions etc.
Food – £962pp
As above, its hard to give an exact amount for food. On the whole we tried to eat cheap with possible, especially at the start of our trip. There were a few expensive meals peppered in plus we ate out twice a day towards the end of our trip as we realised we were under budget.
The total is a bit skewed as this includes all the alcohol we bought in bars as well as the konbini trips for beers and cigarettes. I estimate that booze accounts for around a third of the total per person. If you would like to do Japan on a budget, reducing the booze will make a big difference.
Shopping/Souvenirs/Gifts – £607 (just me)
We went hard with the shopping. We didn’t actually receive our checked in luggage until day 19 so we had to buy all new clothes and cosmetics. If this wasn’t the case, then I don’t think I would have spent so much (airline is comping us for the additional clothing bought anyway). I also bought a fairly expensive chef knife and Japanese denim pieces, plus lots of gifts for friends and family. Obviously, this number could theoretically 0 if you are on a serious budget and did no shopping but I really underestimated Japanese shopping, especially thrifting. Also, given our cheap choices when it came to accommodation we could afford to splurge. However just to note my partner spent less than half than I did on shopping.
Total: £2958 (582,628 yen at time of writing)
I kept within my budget of £3000. I definitely got a bit frivolous with the cash in the last few days or so, if being as careful as I was towards the start of the trip, I think the total would be closer to £2500.
Disappointments
Takoyaki. We thought it was going to be all about the octopus but were disappointed with our balls of sloppy goo surrounding tiny chewy pieces of octopus. We tried it twice and couldn’t get behind it. Sorry Takoyaki fans.
Arashiyama. Way too busy, especially around the main station and bamboo grove. If it’s the bamboo you are going to see, then Kodaji is a much better spot.
Dotonburi. Albeit we were there in golden week, and it was pretty busy. However, I get the feeling this area has fallen to the past its golden days title and has become a bit of a cash cow for places selling spiralised potatoes on a stick. The area around Namba park was a better option for us.
Tips
Konbini. Absolute life saver for snacks and drinks on the go. The food quality for a convenience store is higher than most other countries so we had no problem with grabbing a meal from one to help keep within our budget.
Don’t over pack – even though we didn’t get our checked in bags, I still packed light so had plenty of space to bring stuff back. Emirates give you your allowance by weight rather than number of baggage so we could check in additional bags on the way back.
Don’t be scared of hostels. If you don’t want to brave the shared dorms, then most hostels offer private rooms with just the shower and toilet shared. Obviously, it’s cheaper if there are two people sharing a room.
Don’t stress about cash. Most places take debit/credit card and if they don’t, you’re never more than 5 minutes from a konbini ATM.
For us, golden week didn’t seem that big of an issue. No problems booking shinkansen around GW. We spent most of GW in Osaka, as such it was going to be busy anyway so maybe we didn’t see much of a difference from normal numbers in the spring.

When I met her, she and I became friends immediately, she was sweet and nice and she was understanding cause I tend to over share and she actually was there for me, this was 4 years ago. I was in 12th and now we are graduating from the same university.
We were never in the same classes even though we had the same courses, she used to call me to hangout with her in semester 1 and 2, I used to refuse every time and that died down, I met a bunch of good people along the way until semester 4. She and her guy were fighting and she “needed” me as a support, I left everything for her, I spent every day and night talking to her since. She used whine when I made plans with my other friends and unnecessarily bitch about them and when I got uncomfortable, she told me that I was “no fun” anymore, so I dropped them.
She ranted every single day. It was always about her fighting w her ex or her not liking someone, unnecessarily commenting about someone’s body, the way they dressed, everything. I used to feel uncomfortable but didn’t say anything cause she’d somehow make me feel guilty? Made me date her ex’s friend even though I wasn’t into him? And she blamed me for that not working out?
I knew her whole life story? And she’s claiming that I hide things from her but whenever I talk she ends up talking about herself? Up until 1st semester, I was very very insecure about my body and decided to change that, I lost weight and she used to make these very subtle passive aggressive comments sometimes and never once asked about my progress. She was very good at this tho, make me feel special but then asserting unnecessary dominance and trying to compete? The day I cut her off, she used her trick of guilt tripping me and then called right back and started crying and apologising by victimising herself and telling me that I was her longest friend that I couldn’t do that to her and so on.
But I made a list of (few out of all) things that struck out for me as soon as I cut her off:

1. Bitched about my friends and guilt tripped me into isolating myself from them by telling me that I chose them over her even tho I spent most of my time w her
   1. Then tries to “push me towards them(my friends)” after a they tried talking to me and I stopped responding to them because she used to convince me not to? And now she wants me to reconcile with them even tho I told her they were done w me lol
   2. Bitches about every person and acts all sweet and nice to them.
   3. Expects me to be loyal and hate the people she hates (she’s very problematic, in the sense she had problems with everyone who were close to her and made it seem like they were the problem and everyone believed it??) but when I dislike someone to a point it irks me, she tells me that that person helped her a lot. Double standards.
   4. Never accepts faults.
   5. Everything is an act.
   6. The most insecure person I’ve ever met and never told me about their true feelings? (I thought I was insecure until her)
   7. Wants me to just validate her feelings and god forbid I ever give her an advice.
   8. Claims to having done everything for me during our friendship. Being there for me exactly 2 times when I have been with her and for her numerous times over the span of 4 years.
   9. Got into a relationship because she wanted to go on double dates with her former bf and his bf w me, was in a week long relationship and he lost interest and told it to her and she chose to humiliate me when I got drunk and chose to tell me on the day of my first ever concert.
   10. Conveniently chooses what is right or wrong.
   11. Talks about herself 23/7. The one hour in a week is what I talk in total, I am her emotional support dog.
   12. When I confronted her about her not knowing me, she used sarcasm to deflect the situation on to me, making me feel like the crazy one. Never tried to know who I was.
   13. My surname is known to have money, so if a person who is popular and has my surname or doesn’t have it, according to her, they are talking to me only because I have that surname.
   14. Says that she’s happy that I’m not like other girls she mentioned by saying that I’m happy for her for all the things she’s bought or done and the fact that I pay for my share every single time cause I don’t like owing someone money and relates that to herself but in reality, she’s just like the “other girls” she’s mentioned.
   15. I’m not allowed to go out every Saturday like she does but I am allowed to go sometimes, that’s on a very rare occasion and most of the time it’s with cousins and my elder sister.
   16. Went on an international trip w cousins and she constantly told me that she wants to go to the exact same place w her friends, never once asked me for the pictures of my trip just kept whining about how she hasn’t been there?
   17. When she got caught cheating on an exam, her own (former) boyfriend did not go with her to solve it or be there for her, instead I went so that she doesn’t feel bad, didn’t eat my lunch didn’t study for the exam we had in an hour, and she thanked me. When I got caught for the first time recently, she left knowing that our mutual told her that I got caught and when I told her that it was sad that she didn’t even wait for me she gave me reasons and excuses as to why she couldn’t. If I were in her place, she would be fuming rn and would use that against me in a fight. This was the one that pushed me off the cliff to be very honest.
   18. She knows all my weak and trigger points. She loves to use the word “disappointment” whenever I missed one of her rants/fights

It’s been a month (officially) that I stopped talking to her, cut her off completely? And I’ve never felt better? I felt like I used to be in an abusive relationship? But what actually inspired me to write this post and make it public is because she told people things that I confided with her and it triggered me. And thank you to that one Redditor whose stories have resonated with me and helped me get through this.
Thank you for hearing me out and please do give advices on how to effectively not give a shit about her. If any of you want to share your experiences, you’re always welcome.

I seem to have lost understanding of most people.
I see it most oftenly among people my age(21-26). Listening to others, feeding off of those motivational bullshit videos, rich people advice, relationship advice... I see people collect all the knowledge, ideas, information and skills on the planet, yet they do not act. I see people not knowing a thing jump head first, some fail, yet some succeed - Knowledge without experience is merely philosophy; experience without knowledge is ignorance. - Not wary of the preacher most bite into his bullshit. Not knowing the sacred irony of this life that those who preach love do not have love, those who preach peace lack peace and those who preach god... Really need god.
There are sacred ironies and causal relationships that cannot be broken and will persist as cynical clichès until either society crumbles or chatgpt has had enough of my psychotic ramblings and decides to go on a thanos quest to bring peace to the planet.
What I am trying to get at is the fact that a lot of people have completely disregarded themselves and decided to wage war on the only person GENUINELY interested in their well being - their own damn self. "IT's YOU VS YOU" "PAIN IS JUST PAIN" - that type of 'hustle' cope bullshit that the vast majority are consuming so that they do not crumble under their own insecurities.
It is not you vs you, it's you and you versus everything else trying to put you down, manipulate you and toy with you. So just about 95% of the world right now.
The moment you decided to wage a mental war against yourself you're doomed. "YOU NEED CONCRETE EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT YOUR OWN MENTAL PICTURE OF YOURSELF BECAUSE AFFIRMATIONS DO NOT WORK" who said that ? Some rich guy selling a course..? Is he going to give you that concrete evidence? Only for 500$ when the 'actual' value is 500000000000000$?
You don't need a 10pack to feel good, you don't need a lamborghini aventador to feel enough, you don't have to be 6'+ to be granted permission to carry confidence unconcealed, you don't gotta be making 100k USD+ minimum to be granted access to the dating world.
Reality exists in your head. Anything else is just pure copius bullshit.
The only true way to change your life is to change your mind, your identity. That doesn't start with becoming a millionaire.
Jim Rohn has a saying I'll tattoo on my ass one day - “If someone hands you a million dollars, best you become a millionaire, or you won't get to keep the money.” -
Life comes from you it doesnt happen to you, if you're dead inside... Too bad life will suck until you perish. You want a better life? change. Change who you are. Kill who you are.
The quality of your thoughts determine the quality of your life. A thought that has been thought too often, becomes a habbit, a habbit becomes a lifestyle and a lifestyle becomes an identity. Let me provide an example a lot of people are familiar with :
If the 'love' of your life has decided that all of the sudden you dick is too short and that your best friend's is able to 'satisfy' her better... and you're dumb enough to have made her the sole priority of your life.. You wound up thinking about her daily. She's getting dicked down, but you still thinkin abt her, obsessing, being sad, imagining happily ever after scenarios. You wake up sad, you work sad, you go to sleep sad.
This goes on for 1 month, by this time frame it has become a habbit. Your brain produces chemicals associated with that depressive feeling, after a certain time period the body takes over. The same way you're breathing without thinking about it, you'll be thinking about her without thinking about her producing an insurmountable amount of depression proteins. And before long you'll be grumpy, salty and ridden with hatred individual. - If you want a really good explanation of this read "Breaking the habbit of being yourself - by Joe Dispenza"
The thoughts that you think determine your life. IF you can convince yourself that you're the person you want to be and you emotionally experience that event and you hold it in your head long enough, it will happen.
You will change your external surroundings by changing your internal surroundings.
Ok. had to get this out of me. Bye.

Hi! I (21f) and my gf (23f) 2yrs into LDR and had a misunderstanding this night about her not being too expressive. And now it just dawned upon me that recently she's not hyping me up or not calling me pretty anymore. I cried for the whole day because I feel so bad about telling all this things to her since last time we had a huge fight about her not hyping me up when I send her selfies and all, from then on I stopped sending her pictures, she said to me that I should just send pictures to her because I want to, not because I want to feel validated and be called 'pretty'. Deep down inside, I felt bad.
She also told me that she's actually sweet, when I told her I want her to be more sweet towards me. The things is, she is on her own ways, but I don't know how to tell her how I would feel appreciated if she were into words, because my love language is words of affirmation and hers is acts of service which is really hard to execute in an ldr. She really did tried to do her best but she wasn't consistent about it.
And now I'm crying because I feel like all of this things that I'm feeling are irrational.
Can someone also tell me how to deal with this on my own for now? I'll tell her sooner, but I want to stop feeling so immensely bad that it ruins my whole day.

I was letting my snake slither around on my bed, and he decided to go between my legs (they were crossed) he was just chilling there for a minute or two then I felt a sudden movement and thought I heard his mouth open so I freaked out. I tried to stay calm but I stuck my leg out pretty quickly with him wrapped around it. I don't seem to have injured him, but he started lifting his head up, but keeping it level afterwards. I will leave a picture in the comments. He was calm as was I putting him back in his terrarium. I just feel bad because I know I probably just moved a little and he reacted how a snake would. He didn't try to bite me as I stuck my leg out.
I do want to know more about the head lifting behavior. I haven't seen him do it in his terrarium. He stays in his hides during the day.

Sorry it’s a long post, I’m just lost…..
I was officially diagnosed DID a little over a year ago, as well as BiPolar and PTSD. I am a married (of 17 years) 42 y/o female. Before being diagnosed I had learned I was having an enormous amount of sex with several people (even strangers)! I had zero memory of ANY of these encounters! The sex was with multiples, rough, crazy, hardcore sex! Videos and pictures were taken! It was just a lot! Which is how we (my husband and I) found out…. We were being sent videos/pics of me with other men! That had been going on since about 2019! One of the men was someone we knew. Long story short, I negotiated with my sexual alter to stick with ONLY that man we knew! She has stuck to that agreement for now. But her and that one person have an extreme amount of sex still l that is rough and hardcore - a type of sex I’ve never been into. She is using this man as a communicator at this point bc she refuses to communicate with me directly. My sexual alter refuses to front with my husband stating “that is my job!” She also stated she has cheated on my husband basically our whole marriage starting after my mother died in 2008. She stated no SA has happened but it was emotional abuse by my mother and sister along with a lack of self confidence my entire life! My mother also basically raised me that sex was bad (I do not believe this now). Also, my alter had been known to lie a bit so I’m not sure how trusting I am of her. I remember the emotional abuse so why would I have amnesia through all of these sexual encounters if the emotional abuse was the cause of all of this. I feel like there is something more…. What seems to be a huge SA that happened and she is holding that and not telling anyone. I just don’t know!
Me and this alter have come SO far with negotiations and getting her calmed down. But she continues to make threats that she will go back to her old ways if I don’t do “xyz.” It’s just been hard!
Does anyone have ANY suggestions or advice?? It’s been a long road and my goal is fusion and obtaining some of her sexual characteristics but keeping everything only in my marriage! Thank GOD for my amazing supportive husband through this!

Hey guys… I’m 30, have a 5 year old son. Accidentally found the messages Sunday morning, on Mother’s Day, when he asked me to message his friend something for him. He swears it’s never been physical. But he’s a police officer… he has access. He meets these women at work. But it’s sexting, pictures, even some talking bad about me. This time it’s apparent they haven’t slept together because there are messages woefully stating so. We almost divorced after the third time…. Now I wish I had. I’ve been faithful the entire time. I’m scared. He married me when I was 21 (he was 32 - first red flag). I’ve never lived on my own. I’ve never been solely responsible for bills. I’ve seen so much hate for single moms online. I’m convinced I’m going to be alone forever. But I’d rather be alone than EVER feel this disrespected again. We have so many assets together and we are entwined… how do people navigate this? It’s such an overwhelming thought that I don’t even know where to begin. How do you not hate ALL men after something like this??
Edit to add - he was great for the first five years. This started when I was 6 weeks postpartum and has happened periodically over the last 5 years. I haven’t let myself go either, I’m way hotter than I was before I even had my son… so like, wut. He’s not the man that I married.

I was with my first love for 3 and a bit years, we met in late 2010 before we broke up 10 years ago in early 2014. We were young and in our early 20s back then, things just fizzled out.
I've always thought about her but eventually we went our separate ways, she got in to a relationship with another guy after me for a few years but eventually he ended up cheating on her, this was around 2017.
After her breakup in 2017 I confessed my feelings for her but we didn't go anywhere with it as she was still healing so I told her I need to cut her off at the point because I told her I was struggling to be just friends with her, to which she said that she was heartbroken that's it come to us parting ways. But we wished each other well and went our separate ways. I was really at my lowest at that point but have come a really long way since in terms of having a successful career and have improved a lot financially and mentally.
At the start of 2019, she did add me on social media but she didn't say anything to me so a few days later I ended up deleting her because I realised I still wasn't over her, I regretted deleting her afterwards.
At the end of 2019 I heard that she was engaged, she ended up getting married but then I heard she got divorced around a year and a half ago. A few monthds ago I found out that the reason for her divorce was because her husband cheated on her and was abusive towards her. They got divorced around early 2022.
As for me I did get in to another relationship with someone else but I was also cheated on so I have been single for a few years now, I have been evolving in my career and proud of how far I've come and have recently started a new chapter in my career. I considered getting in touch with her a few months ago but I noticed that she had cut off a lot of people from her social media so I wasnt too sure how she'd react to me adding her, I thought she'd reject me seen as she's cutting off a lot of people.
So around 3 months ago I took the plunge seen as I had nothing to lose and sent her a request on instagram, and she has accepted and also followed me back. She's been viewing my stories and a month ago I posted a life quote on my story which she liked, I haven't spoke to her yet. I posted a few pictures of myself which she hasn't liked but A few weeks ago I posted a quote on my story that said 'be the reason for someone's pain to turn into a smile', she liked that quote and also another one that I posted last week. It was my birthday a few days ago and she liked a birthday story that I posted on instagram. I'm limiting the amount of posts that I like of hers because I don't want to seem too forward.
I'm assuming she is single but not entirely sure. I added her 3 months ago but she deleted me, I was confused because she only liked one of my stories few days prior. I would have liked to see if there was future for us but don't think she's interested now, i have messaged her saying 'Hi, hope your well. I probably should have said something a long time ago but I didn't, my fault. I've been praying for you, today I realise I've been deleted anyways I hope your keeping happy and healthy'. She replied saying 'Hey I'm good thanks hope you are too, that is kind of you, I didn't expect this kind of message'.
I didn't really know what to say back to her, I still don't understand why she deleted me even though days before she was showing an interest in my stories before and now she's deleted me. I have just replied saying 'that's good. Sorry for catching you off guard with it, I wanted to reach out to you earlier. I'm glad your doing well though' and now she has replied back saying 'can I ask why?' I replied back saying 'It's been on my mind for a while to get back in touch with you, I didn't add you for no reason. But we don't need to if it's not something your comfortable with'. She has now sent a long message as follows: 'You don’t make me feel uncomfortable. I have thought about you over the years and wished you well.
I removed you because you have my ex and his family on your instagram and I removed everyone who has any contact with them. You will have heard that I was married there for a short period of time but it was hell and now I’m out of it I don’t want them knowing anything about my life, so I removed everyone who has any link with them. I didn’t realise till that day that you did. It was nothing to do with you personally.' .
Im not actually friends with her ex husband as he is just someone that lives nearby to me and we have never spoken so I have now replied with this: 'I'm sorry that you had to go through that, I hope your okay and I pray god brings you ease. I wouldn't exactly say I have anything to do with them personally though, only thing I know about them is that they're from my area too. It makes sense now and it's understandable why you did that.'
She has replied back again saying 'I'm great, God is the best of planners and it was the best thing for me. Even so, I removed everyone who had us both so sorry about that' and to which I have replied 'That's fair enough, I'm glad to hear your doing well though and that your at peace now. That's what matters most'. She had now asked 'how have you been, what's new with you?' I have just replied saying 'I'm not too bad thanks, life's changed a lot since we last spoke so there's quite a lot that's new lol'. That was few nights ago, and after that we were speaking generally about the holiday that I'm currently on and what to do as she has been here before too and she also asked how long I'm there for, it was in general a short and civilised conversation.
She ended the conversation 6 nights ago by liking my last message, I don't know if she plans to message me again as she did take a few hours to reply between each message, What are the chances that she'll message me even if we don't follow each other on instagram anymore. I am slightly anxious that she won't message me after this due to her deleting me because her ex is on my Instagram. Was thinking of just giving her space for a few more days, then deleting her ex and requesting her back in around a weeks time.

Well a couple weeks ago I found a more affordable GT-2000 listed on the Bay. It was a little “broken in” the plinth need touched up, and the tone arm had some residue to clean off. It was also stated in the description that the dust cover was cracked and would likely be further damaged during shipping. But it had all its parts and pieces even the whole antiskate assembly.
I decided if I got it at a low enough price, none of that would matter. I could have a custom dust cover made, and a few nicks and scuffs didn’t bother me. The GT-2000 was already one of the lowest prices on the site, but it had a make an offer button…so I did. I offered 1200 shipped, 200 less than listed. Figured they’d counter offer something higher.
Well they counter offered at the same price, but sent a message saying “only buy if you can pay immediately, it’s for sale locally as well”. No worries, had the money set aside so I accepted the offer, knowing it may get a rough treatment coming from Japan to the US. I messaged the seller and requested that they take extra care shipping it overseas. The seller agreed, I was optimistic.
The seller provided tracking data and let me know they shipped in two boxes (awesome, the platter weighs a ton so separating the two was a great sign).
Now the sad part…yesterday the first package arrived, my wife had moved it inside after taking a picture of the delivery condition…it was bad…like “I just shit my pants in the middle of a very important job interview bad. It was crumpled, the corners were torn out and several tears in the box sides were evident. I don’t think you could abuse a package more, it looked like someone drove over it and backed up a few times to make sure they got it good. I’m my head I’m just repeating “please be the platter”. It wasn’t.
The dust cover was the first piece revealed after opening and pulling back the packaging, or rather was the first few pieces, it was shattered in many pieces. Well shit, I already knew that was going to be the case. I pull back more packaging and start to see the plinth…it’s covered in splinters from the veneer breaking off, damn, well that’s cosmetic.
Once I finished pulling back the bubble wrap I see the tonearm…well it was s-shaped to begin with but now it’s s-shaped in multiple directions. It had a significant down turn right after the arm rest. So it’s a goner unless I want to pay another $800 usd for a tonearm.
I’ve contacted the seller, I let him know the bad news and offered that if he can find another YA-39 tonearm and send it, or refund about $600 for me to buy one on my own, I would accept that. If that can’t be worked out I will have to return it (it’s about 30kg of total weight, such a beast!) so I imagine that isn’t cheap return shipping for the seller. I have until mid June to file a return, so maybe something can be worked out, but I doubt it.
The worst part is, now that I’ve handled it and seen it in person…I want one like 10x more badly than I originally did. It’s so awesome, so sexy, and soooooo big (sure, sure, size doesn’t matter or whatever).
Dammit, I doubt I’ll be able to find another working GT-2000 close to that price, and I really wanted a table for my man cave that would look awesome and play awesome. Even if I save up for a while longer, I’m not sure I can justify the likely$2k it would cost to buy one that is comparable, $1200 was already pushing what I was comfortable paying for a decent table.
But damn I really want one.

This is me venting but am also curious to know what everyone's relationship is like with half-siblings. Here's my story. I'm sorry in advance for how long this is, along with the grammarun-ons. I'm trying to give the Reddit community as much context as I can dating as far back as my memory takes me.
I (F 28) have two younger biological sisters (identical twins, F 25). The three of us were born after my dad married my mom (arranged marriage) after he and his first wife got divorced.
I believe my dad's first marriage lasted about 10 years. They had two kids together (my half-siblings). My older brother and I have an 8-year age difference, and my older sister and I have a 10-year age difference. Growing up, they used to visit us a few times a year including summer break or alternating holidays. Sometimes they would visit during Thanksgiving, other times during Christmas.
We used to be pretty close (at least I thought), but the relationship has become increasingly strained through the years. I understand the fact that there are ALWAYS two sides to every story, but I believe that my dad was on the right side of things and the marriage ended because two people weren't compatible and got married too young. It's always unfortunate when there are kids involved, and I'm sure it was tough with my older siblings being impacted at a young age.
It started when our grandpa (my dad's dad) passed away in November 2015. My brother suddenly stopped talking to my dad/our family immediately for whatever reason. He was the only person that didn't come to my grandpa's funeral. I honestly think he was holding a grudge that he didn't find out immediately when my grandpa passed, but I can't be too sure. We've never addressed that directly.
Fast forward 8 months to July 2016, when my dad's side of the family had a reunion at a first cousin's wedding. The vibes from my brother were like nothing had happened, and then after the wedding weekend, he was back to being silent. When my grandma (dad's mom) passed away in June 2019 he didn't show up to the funeral then either. Granted I didn't, but not because I didn't want to. I was a poor grad student and couldn't afford an $800 ticket on short notice and didn't want to burden my parents to pay for me to fly back for a couple of days either on top of how busy they were with funeral arrangements.
My brother went about 5 years to not talk to my dad or any of us. Then, out of nowhere, he calls one day to announce that he's getting married. The wedding is set for October 2022. I think he was buttering up my dad and our family to come to the wedding, because he knew it would look bad if everyone asked where his dad was for his wedding, and it would reflect poorly on him. The communication in 2022 was pretty consistent leading up to the wedding, and my older siblings would call my dad almost every weekend knowing that they needed us to show up to the wedding.
My older sister (F 38) had a baby girl in July 2018. Our dad was thrilled, his oldest daughter made him a grandpa. But there is clear separation and favoritism there, as my niece only sees her mom's side of the family being in the same area in the DMV. For those who aren't familiar with DC/MD/VA, my older sister lives in Virginia, in Arlington, and her mom lives in Herndon. About a 30-minute drive from each other. My parents live across the country in Orange County, so visits are far and few in between for my dad and his grandchild. I live on the Maryland side, and the state line between Maryland and Virginia is roughly 30 min, depending on where you go and the time of day. Anyway, I don't even know if my niece knows that she has another grandpa, outside of what she knows about my sister's mom and stepdad, and my brother-in-law's parents, who split time between the US and Nepal. I feel so bad for my dad because that's his grandkid too and everyone deserves the joy of being involved in their grandkids lives. My dad has seen my niece several times but the relationship is pretty surface level. It's not her fault, she doesn't know him like she does my sister's mom and stepdad, plus it's a proximity thing living on opposite sides of the country. We have FaceTime for these reasons though.
My husband and I aren't ready to have kids yet, and we want them. We've only been married for almost 7 months so we're still trying to live life before we settle down. I hope nothing more than to be able to give my parents a grandkid one day because I want my dad and mom to experience what they missed from my older half-siblings isolating them from their kids. That is if I'm able to have kids, I know we can't control these things.
This brings me to my next point (if you're still reading this, I appreciate you). My husband and I got married in October 2023. Our parents on both sides did everything they could to give us the wedding of our dreams, and it was everything we imagined and hoped for, and I'm forever grateful for that. I know that my wedding hit my dad harder emotionally than the first two with my older siblings because he was not at all involved during theirs. That wasn't by choice, my older siblings' mom probably didn't want him to be involved. Divorced dynamics are so confusing. You're telling me you can't come together and be civilized for a day/weekend? After my wedding, a few months later, sometime in January or February 2024, my dad called me to talk about how my sister was upset after our wedding and she vented about a few things with him on the phone. He was relaying the message over.
For context, I uploaded our wedding pictures on Facebook, because I have so many family members overseas in Nepal who weren't able to attend the wedding, and it was honestly the most convenient way to showcase our pictures since people in Nepal are ridiculously active on Facebook. My sister has social media, my brother got rid of his TwitteFacebook/Instagram/everything many years ago. Our photographer took several thousand pictures throughout the wedding weekend events, and of course, there were moments captured of my older sister and her family, including my brother-in-law, and niece. I will admit out of spite since my sister never posts anything about me and my dad/family, I tagged but then later on deleted those pictures she was in. Why would I have pictures of her on my social media when she's never posted anything of us? She doesn't even like or comment on anything on my social media, and when you have siblings, this is not something you discuss, you just do it. Duh. Over the last few days, I unfollowed her and unfriended her on Facebook and Instagram. For me, it makes no sense to keep people on my newsfeed if I don't interact with them, and I have plenty of family members and friends that I already have a strongemore communicative relationship with.
If my sister was upset about this, why did she call my dad to vent about this months later instead of coming to me? My dad told me she complained that he didn't mention her or my older brother during his speech at our wedding. But am I wrong for thinking, why would he? It's a celebration for me and my husband. I thought that was very conceited and selfish. The day wasn't about her, and my dad's speech was so heartfelt that I cried. I believe she was offended she didn't get the same during hers. However, my sister and brother never asked our dad to give a toast at their weddings. Only their mom did, which is messed up in my opinion.
I understand divorce is messy and complicated, and people go through years of therapy to fix, or maybe even never fix issues completely. It's hard, and I'm just a product of his second marriage. But I've never understood the jealousy that seems to exist, specifically between my older sister and me.
I tried reaching out to both of them in a group iMessage, talking about how I am not happy with the way they're treating our dad. My brother has stopped calling my dad completely over the last few months since his son (my dad's second grandkid) was born a few months ago in February. My sister calls maybe once a month. I wanted to confront them about this ongoing behavior and ill will toward our family. They didn't even have the guts to respond to me, I suggested if they have time to FaceTime so we can have a real adult conversation about what is their issue. My parents are flying to DC this weekend and the original plan was to drive a few hours north so they could see my brother's baby. No communication with my brother whatsoever to coordinate. I feel devastatingly sad for my dad.
I'm not even going to get into their treatment of my mom. That's another long story, but basically, it's them not giving a hoot about her, even though she's the one who took care of them and stepped up when they visited growing up. As a stepmom, it's hard to deal with kids from a previous marriage. But she did it and she loves them, and they're nothing but passive-aggressive and mean to her. They never wish her happy birthday, happy Mother's Day, or my parents happy anniversary. It takes two seconds. For me, if you disrespect my parents, you're disrespecting me.
Since then, my sister has unfollowed and unfriended everyone on social media, including my dad, my younger sisters, and my husband. All because she couldn't handle that I did that to her. I'm just not for this nasty behavior, and I know we all need to unpack a lot in therapy (me and my older siblings specifically). Their behavior is cowardly, and I can't be the only one that thinks this, right? I don't know. It didn't have to be like this. I'm sure their mom has been telling them bad things about the marriage and my dad for years. I'm not saying he probably didn't make mistakes, but there are, once again, two sides to everyone's story. None of us kids have heard both sides directly from the source, and probably never will. It makes me sad, especially for my dad. I know life will go on. I tried to reach out, and if they don't want to talk about these issues like adults, then I have nothing else to say.