Hi guys, short time lurker and very recent grad here. I just want to ask opinions of people about problems I am having getting a job. I've applied to around 30-40 firms in my city. It is not a growing city so I understand that the market has gone down, therefore roles dry up, but I am having serious trouble getting a position. I have had a 2 year internship that I worked throughout my schooling, I got my Bachelors in Finance and Economics at the same time that I also got my Master's in Finance (Accelerated Master's Program), I skipped my senior level courses and dived right in to my Master's. I have above a 3.5 cumulative GPA, hours of volunteer work, etc. Firms have told me I'm overqualified, firms have gone with an internal candidate, firms have simply ghosted my application, leaving it for months. What am I doing wrong? I have the credentials and knowledge, I just want a job to pay off my loans! Is the market really this bad? I have gone through interview round after interview round for any positions even remotely related to finance, including Accounting. I've applied to personal wealth management, regular regional banks, investment banks, firms looking for FPNA, firms looking for project cost analysis, treasury analyst, etc. Everyone says no one wants to work, how come when they get a willing candidate they won't offer me? I'm not even asking for a lot, I've said I want $50k annual salary. Any help is appreciated guys. I just want to work and do good work. I've done financial research, bank reconciliations, GL table investigations, monthly division and business unit analysis, forecasting, budgeting. Why can't I get a job? I know python, R, PowerBI, etc. I did everything "perfect" and no one wants me? Maybe the end of my degree stressed me out, but my interest payments start soon and I'm gonna be underwater quickly if I don't get a job.
Quick note: I neglected to mention that my internship gave me a "soft" offer in January. That never materialized. We got bought out in March, the business budget has thinned to less than it was last year and I've slowly been left with less and less work since then, so it looks like this firm isn't an option anymore. It seems they are "quiet firing" me. I just have no idea how to keep going without a path.

This is both a post looking for advice and to vent. Using my second account for anonymity. Sorry for my word vomit. I’m just going to write what’s on my mind. TL;DR at the bottom if you want to skip my ranting.
I (28 F) finally got a ‘cozy’ office job in 2022 which I had dreamed of after working in management in a grueling, extremely laborious, customer service job that genuinely screwed my back to the point where I couldn’t walk (which is now mostly better after quitting almost 2 years ago). After working really hard at this new job, I became management pretty fast (8 months) and it’s genuinely the most I have ever been paid in my life (around $51k before taxes). It’s not a ton in the current financial state of the world (I live in the US), but it’s enough to get myself and my partner by with his job as well, and I have some left over every month. This is truly a blessing and not something I take lightly. I feel very privileged to be in this position when my partner and I, in the past, have been in poverty where we had $30 to feed us both for a month.
However, my depression has sky rocketed. This job has afforded me to go to a wonderful (but expensive) therapist, and I feel like I talk about how my job is wrecking me emotionally and mentally majority of the time. My anxiety is through the roof. I am being forced to micromanage our team, and I have to make tough decisions I don’t agree with. Some days, I feel like I am my team’s therapist. I try to establish boundaries but I truly feel like a parent - I am never left alone by the team or upper management as I am always needed to answer questions, report, and investigate cases. The work load is insane and they just keep piling more and more on me and my colleagues. I am salaried but I’m constantly working off the clock to catch up. In multiple required leadership trainings, it’s always been pushed that “you’ll never feel like you have enough time to get everything done” which seems to be what they consider ‘normal’, and the company constantly gives more responsibilities to everyone instead of hiring a new role or realizing we need help/more people. It’s not healthy and everyone is being run ragged. My hours suck so I’m the only manager in the evening so I am constantly being dogpiled with questions, messages, emails, complaint tickets, assignment, meetings, trainings, etc. the list goes on and on and on. We have 40+ people under us which feels impossible to manage among everything else.
I feel stuck. I do not have the capacity at the end of the day to do anything productive like courses, certifications, or to look for a new job. I don’t even have a college degree under my belt. I was about 6 credits away from an Associates back in 2020 but when the pandemic hit, I had to go full time at my last job to help which made me put a pause on my education and I have yet to go back. Lesson learned: don’t sacrifice your education for a job. Good lord. I feel like I can’t do anything but management to make a decent living (which I don’t want to do anymore) since I don’t have a degree or set of skills except for management and customer service for 12+ years. It’s soul crushing. It hurts my heart to have hard conversations with staff, especially those who are trying and who care but who still come up short. I also hate having to be the bearer of bad news, especially when it’s to uphold a company policy that I think is bs. I feel stuck between the executives above me and the team I manage. It’s suffocating. All that I do is never enough despite getting things done while being pulled in hundreds of different directions at once.
I feel so ungrateful. I remember dreaming of an office job when I was doing back breaking work before. I also do have wonderful colleagues and some of the benefits are things I never thought I’d have in any job. Now I’ve gained 30+ pounds and my mental health is at an all time low. There are so many people out there struggling worse and I just feel so entitled and shitty asking for something better and whining about where I am. I also have a lot of financial anxiety since I don’t want to be where I’ve been in the past where we could barely afford food. My wonderful partner has begged me to quit if it’s too much and has offered to support us while I looked for something else, but living on his income, which is significantly less than mine, is terrifying. I also don’t like the idea of putting that pressure on him. He’s done so much for us, and the guilt I would feel for giving up on our stability because I can’t ‘tough it out’ makes me feel so much shame. Although I’m good at it, I also don’t want to do customer service as it’s something I’ve done my entire life, and it has never paid what I need to support us. And let’s be frank, everyone knows it sucks.
Without this job, I couldn’t put food on the table like I do now. I would lose the ability to go to the doctor without worrying about it putting me in the hole. I couldn’t afford to go to therapy or pay for medication. We’ve been looking to buy a house for years and that would become a pipe dream. Although we are child-free, I still have pets to feed and take care of. What would I even do if I did try to find something else? I don’t have a degree, or certificates. I barely have the energy or time to pursue those things. I don’t even have the bandwidth to do the things I love like hobbies or see friends. I don’t even know what I want.
I’m good at art and computer stuff. I love data and have looked at data analysis, but I just don’t have the time. I love plants and animals, but don’t want to work in animal medicine. I have looked into medical billing/coding. I guess I’m mostly looking for something project based and not people/management based. Something that’s independent that offers autonomy over my own time and work quality/production. That’s probably most people though, right?
If you’ve made it this far, I’m sorry for my rambling. I feel better after putting this here, but I feel the crash of anxiety that lies in wait. I should b working but I’m frozen and overwhelmed. What do I do? What options are out there?
TL;DR: I work in management at a corporate job that has destroyed my mental health. I do not have a degree or any certifications. I stopped going to college in 2020 because of the pandemic and was <10 credits away from an Associate’s degree. I am looking for something that is not management or customer service that would allow for independent work, autonomy over my own time and work quality/production. I am very literate with computers and love data. I am a very creative person, and I am good at art (traditional paintings, digital, etc.), and have hobbies that include houseplants and exotic animals. I have over 12+ years in customer service which has a lot of transferable soft skills. I have looked (minimally) into data analysis as well as medical billing/coding. Any advice on careers, certifications, degrees, courses, etc would be greatly appreciated!

I worked in schools for a total of 4 years and taught high school English for 1.5. By the time I started as a full classroom teacher, I knew it wasn't the right fit for me. I moved after my first year, then took a 6-month temporary assignment fulfilling a leave. At the end of my 6 months I was asked to stay on because the teacher I was covering chose not to return. I made the tough decision to leave for my own mental health, and 4 months of unemployment ensued as I actively searched for a new career.
During those 4 months I applied to 123 positions and attended 26 interviews at 17 different companies/organizations. Let me say first that I do not wish this job market on anyone. It was relentless. I have previous experience in the nonprofit sector, a master's degree from an ivy league, a restorative justice certification, and had several direct referrals from friends and colleagues, and it still took me several months of full-time searching to get an offer.
I now work as a lobbyist/coalition coordinator at a mission-driven nonprofit that fights for public education funding and reform. It's hybrid and much more my speed, and I make the same as I did teaching. I get to talk to legislators about how unsupported I was as a new teacher, and I get to connect with parents at under-resourced schools and empower them to create change.
I'm also doing 1099 work as a legal assistant and I'm signed up with a tutoring company -- and juggling 3 jobs feels extremely doable compared to teaching. People mean it when they say that we can do anything after surviving this job.
Anyway, I collected data throughout my interview process and thought it would be helpful to share some of the highlights, especially for people in English/History who aren't sure what kind of jobs to apply for.

• I applied for all sorts of positions, but the most common were in the following fields: Curriculum, Training, Nonprofit Management, Social Work, Travel, Fundraising, Higher Education. I looked for job titles like "Program Manager," "Instructional Designer," "Training and Development Manager," "Impact Manager," "Operations Coordinator," etc.
• I was most likely to get interviews in Social Work (3 interviews after 12 applications), then in Nonprofit Management (6 interviews after 28 applications), then Curriculum/Training (3 interviews after 42 applications). I also got 1 interview in Travel and 1 in Fundraising.
• Of the Nonprofit Management jobs I applied for, I was far more likely to get interviews at places that focused on education, after school programing, or youth in some way.
• I was far more likely to get nonprofit interviews than corporate or university. Based on my conversations in interviews, nonprofit leaders are far more likely to understand the breadth of skills that teachers bring to the table.
• I was DESPERATE for a hybrid job -- 75% of my applications were for hybrid or remote positions. Despite this, almost 50% of the jobs I was asked to interview for were for in-person positions.
• I was far more likely to get interviews from applying on Idealist or on the company site directly than applying through Indeed or LinkedIn. As far as I am concerned, Indeed is a complete black hole of fake job postings. Idealist is definitely the most legit of the job posting websites I used, and I was always more likely to get responses from orgs there, even if it was a rejection.
• I live in a HCOL metro area. I made $68k before leaving teaching. The average salary of the 123 jobs I applied to was $65.6k. The average salary of the 17 positions I interviewed for was $53.6k. If I applied for a job that paid under $49k, I was much more likely to get an interview... which felt insulting with my Master's degree.
• I was never invited to an interview that I didn't write a cover letter for. I was surprised because many of my corporate friends said they are completely unnecessary, but I didn't find that to be the case. I used AI to help me optimize my cover letters to the job descriptions and that seemed to help me get interviews.
• Of all of my applications (not just interviews), I was ghosted 60% of the time. 35% of the hiring managers reached out to deny me, and I withdrew my application from 5% of the jobs after interviewing and realizing it wasn't the right fit.

That was a LOT, but hopefully it is helpful to someone getting started on their journey! There is light at the end of the tunnel. I felt hopeless for so long, but I finally feel mentally healthy and cared for at my new position. If you have any questions or want to know more please AMA!

TLDR: If you want to help end tech layoffs skip to the bottom of the post to "What Can You Do".
As you may know, the tech industry has been undergoing significant layoffs in the past couple of years. While you might think it's exclusively because of interest rates, a relatively unknown factor contributing to this crisis is Section 174 of the US tax code.

What’s Section 174?

Before 2022, Section 174 allowed companies to fully deduct research and development (R&D) expenses, including software engineer salaries, in the year they were incurred. This incentivized innovation and fueled the rapid growth of tech startups. However, the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act of 2017 changed the game, which went into effect in 2022. It mandated that domestic R&D expenses be spread over 5 years, significantly increasing the tax burden on companies (source).

How This Affects Big Tech Workers:

Since 2022, the tech sector has witnessed a significant reduction in the workforce, with over 507,000 employees being laid off (source). In response to escalating tax obligations, corporations are exploring strategies to alleviate financial pressures, which include offshoring jobs to countries with more favorable tax treatments. For example, Google recently laid off its entire Python Foundation team in the US and is shifting work to a new team in Germany (source). If Section 174 is allowed to stand, tech companies will continue with this trend at the expense of US developers.

How This Affects Startups:

Unprofitable or low-margin startups, which often rely on R&D to grow and compete, are facing a new challenge. They now have to start paying taxes on expenses that were once deductible, draining resources that could have been used for development and scaling up operations.

The House Has Acted:

Recently, the House of Representatives passed the Tax Relief for American Families and Workers Act of 2024. This bill restores Section 174 expensing for U.S.-based R&D investments. It’s a crucial move to support innovation and tech jobs.

The Senate Challenge:

However, the bill is now stuck in the Senate. We need your help to push this bill forward!

What Can You Do?

Contact your State’s Senators: Use this table to find their contact page, and message them using this template.
For a detailed explanation of this issue check out this post.

Basically as it says, I have been trying to coach my husband into putting some of his salary into a 401k. That is all well and good, he started contributing. But some months ago we get mail that says he is enrolled in a thrift savings plan. I imagine this was when he was in the military as it says "uniformed services", and he had no knowledge that this even existed until I opened the mail. My question is, is this actually legitimate and if so is it as good as a 401k or better or worse?
I'm not sure if it helps but we got the mail January of this year and it's showing a 4.22% rate of return. Upon looking at the other paperwork, it's showing me what seems to be different plans to buy into which include a G, F, C, S, or I funds as well as some L funds. Honestly, I've never really understood investing Even though my ex was a stockbroker. It all seems like gambling to me. Is there a surefire way to go about this? We have about 15K on the table right now and we're not sure what to do. Thank you all for your input

Recently, our organization hired a new HR Generalist, who is updating our timekeeping and payroll policies. One of these policies is that employees who are not program managers or higher in rank must clock in and out, including mandated lunch breaks, etc. If we need to work more than 8 hours, we need permission from our superiors. You get the idea.
After many years of being paid regularly without needing to physically clock in and out (since my days of waiting tables, really), am I rightfully frustrated that staff are now being forced to clock in and out in this way? To my mind, this really only makes sense to relieve the administrative burden of filing timesheets. Salaried staff log their 8 hours per day as usual, but since I am for some reason paid hourly (came on as a Development Associate 2+ years ago), I need to use this system.
The whole thing feels a bit punitive. But if it is indeed industry standard, perhaps it's something I'll just need to accept until I receive an advancement opportunity.

I come from an industry where billables are everything. Working at my first big four firm I've noticed there's so much non-billable time and work so wondering how people meet their targets as again my industry avoids non-billable at all costs.
I ask as I work for a subsidiary under a big four firm and it's the opposite of what CPA and auditors describe. I do maybe 16 hours of work on a crazy busy week but otherwise it's extremely dead, I have a great salary and chill most of the time. The problem is they've just introduced a billable target which I had no problem meeting at any of my former jobs however because it's so chill here it's impossible to meet it. I add 1-3 hours to tasks and my boss adds another 2-5 on top of that and I still am not meeting target. I did bring this up to my boss and she said I am very efficient and need to be billing non-billable to billable codes and adding more time than recording actual. She didn't seem concerned.
The reason this is an issue is the big four firm parent corp manages us and approves everything. I've already heard them talking to my partners about conern over our team meeting billables and checking with us to see if it's happening. We just hired four new people that have the same role as me and they are promoting another colleage to my position too so I feel I will have ZERO work to do....as will they. I am honestly overpaid as it is should I be looking for another job? I'm scared I will be talked to or fired. Everyone is extremely chill and no work ethic when I express this but I've seen how serious the team from the parent corp is to my partners on the sub side about us and I know from staff gossip the partnera on the tax side view us as goofing off and not hard workers which I agree with.
I'm scared come review time my boss may get push back from her boss on the parent side who approves my comp saying why are we paying this person six figures and bonuses when she can't even produce a week of billable work which is totally fair or is this normal for the industry in some roles and I have no worries?
I have a few offers and interviews on the table with more salary but obviously back to actually working hard and I can't be goofing off and taking extended vacations and all that nonsense.

The rift between them has caused a lot of tension in my family and now my mom wants to be in the life of her newborn grandson but refuses to address or try to mend things with my wife.
Little history: I probably introduced them too quickly. My grandmother was in town in south Florida about to move here from Illinois for a retirement community. My wife, girlfriend at the time, came with cookies or some form of baked goods like she usually does when visiting someone as a sign of affection and respect. Where it went wrong from here I have no idea. I suppose the initial crack was when wife scheduled a skitrip for her and I to have as a 1 year of dating anniversary present. We are not rich, this is a huge gift that made sense to her since I refused to let her pay rent. Our combines salaries are barely over 120k. So wife calls mom 6 months in advance because she is a planner for the sole purpose of asking my mom to watch one of our four dogs. Wife has already paid in full for the trip. Yet Mom decides it is a great idea to instead use the opportunity to hop on and take a family trip because it is the last time the family will have for a family vacation - I am the oldest of two boys and two stepsisters, my mom married the guy she left my father for who has twin girls of his own that were in the womb during the infidelity. Anyway mom completely takes over and decides to make our one year gift a family vacation, so she books tickets for a hotel nearby. Wife is bold but at the time not bold enough to stop my mom in her tracks for overstepping a boundary. At this time she still respected my mother and kind of let herself get steamrolled.
Probably skippable Family history: Now I have always had issues with my mother, resentment for leaving my father for my stepdad behind my own fathers back and constantly trying to keep brother and I from seeing “Disneyland dad who doesn’t do any of the work but gets all the fun.” my mother was very strict growing up, always bringing us to church and making my father feel guilty for not bringing brother and I on his weekend. So mom marries stepdad age 11, divorces him around 13 after asking me advice for her relationship and i encourage her to move out. Then remarries him and moves us back into his house age 15. Here I begin rebellion and normal teeenager stuff but stepdad won’t butt in because he isn’t my “biological father” so would have my mom intervene brother and i from behind the scenes. For example, I am young and messing around on the piano because music is important and I never had any formal training and mom comes in to tell me stepdad “wants to know when the concert is going to end because it is a little annoying.” Anyway, they have me prescribed adderall at 16 and in the parking lot holding my first prescription I am told that they would like me to move out and in with my father, who had chased us every time mom and stepdad moved several miles away (5 moves from age 5-15 all in one county). Anyway, brother and I are recovering alcoholics with (my) slipups triggered from interactions or visiting my mom, which mom claims is genetics from my father alone and has nothing to do with her. Maternal grandfather, mother, and I have some nasty temper problems which certainly are exacerbated by drinking (at least mine and moms).
Skitrip revelations: Wife and I are on the way to brothers graduation in Chicago, and wife has yet to reveal to me that my mother has taken over her massive investment of a couples ski vacation and it will now be a family vacation for mom, stepdad, brother, two stepsisters who are all getting out of gradschool. On the way to the airport I am told the news by future wife of my one year surprise. So I get upset and call my mom to call it off. She obliges my request and now holds resentment against me and now wife for “ruining her last family vacation.” Fine, whatever. Mother never says a word about it for months until we are out for a distant family members birthday dinner and at a table of about 8-10 people that are having a group conversation and gets real close to my wife’s ear and tells her privately along the lines of “you deprived our family of our last family vacation.” During this time my wife is frantically tapping my leg under the table because my mom can get a little aggressive. My mom saw this and later (privately to me) mocked her for doing it to my leg under the table.
Christmas blessings: Closer to Christmas maybe 2/3 weeks later we went to go see my mom and my mom had a couple drinks in her (not an alcoholic like brother and I just very sensitive to a couple glasses of wine and occasionally some hidden sips of wine or something) and invites my wife to Christmas church and out to dinner after because the family needs photos for a Christmas card and future wife “will be the photographer for it.” Now this can easily be a nothing comment but given the way my mom had been making future wife feel, it was taken as an insult. So wife declined church and showed up to family dinner just in time for photography session to be over.
The distance: Then mom moves to a fancy house up the coast and invites us up to visit. At first it is ok to bring the 4 dogs then the day before she says they will not have dogs at the house and we can easily find a sitter. 2 Dogs don’t get along, they need to be separated always as there has been two attacks on one from the other, so we can’t trust someone to come to the house and keep them separate and we won’t board 4 dogs it’s too expensive for us. Anyway we go back and forth being invited with the dogs then they retract the offer and say pick one dog to bring and leave the others and it’s just annoying, so we say forget it and don’t go. But my brother becomes engaged and decides to throw his engagement party at my mom’s new place near the beach. Great. First all the dogs are welcome, then day before they say it is too chaotic and she will pay for a small hotel room for one night for future wife and her dogs and my one (the attack dog) can stay in a crate at the house with me but I may not leave the dog to stay with her. And no reasonable cheap hotel in the area is going to accommodate 4 dogs. Anyway wife is stressed but feels obligated to come because I am the best man and I stay at the house while she checks her dogs into the hotel. Wife had made a cheesecake and brought it up in a separate car from me, 4 hour drive by the way, and night of.. my mom says no desserts for engagement party dinner, the dessert is themed or some crazy stuff. Wife shows up to dinner a little later and very flustered because of the situation plus I had relapsed on a bottle of whiskey a couple days prior to seeing my mom. Related, I don’t know. Anyway. Mom has had a couple drinks and future wife and I are talking about having children and religion comes up. Mom asks what we were thinking of doing about baptism or not and I jokingly said (guiltily to get on my moms nerves a bit) that he would have a bris and would love it if she would come to the bar mitzvah. now my wife’s mom was forced to convert from Catholicism to Judaism for her own mother in laws acceptance for a failed marriage so wife is not religious, but it hurt my wife and reasonably so when my mom replied “oh, son, I raised you better than that.” Still no acknowlegement of fault from that comment and mom thinks wife is “overly sensitive, dramatic, and childish” for wanting an apology for it.
Weddings: Future wife becomes current wife. We had gotten engaged on our next anniversary trip she planned for us. I proposed on our bike and barge through tulip season in holland with our feet in the water of the North Sea after a picnic in the dunes. her family business manufactures photo albums for professional photographers, so aside from our families all being divorced, estranged, difficult, and us trying to save money, we did not have a wedding, we just did the paperwork within a month of the proposal. I had already decided to have a baby with her before the trip so we were trying. 2 weeks before brothers wedding in Tennessee we become pregnant, so we break news immediately as to not steal limelight from brothers expensive wedding. Mom says she will cover cost of rental car so we can save money. Ok great. She books the tiny car and we pack it and head up the Smokey mountains to the cabins we are staying at. Two cabins for grooms family, one for his mother and one for his father, ten paces from each other: they havnt spoken but twice im since divorce in 1995 but through lawyers. Grandmother, mother, stepdad, 2 stepsisters and one boyfriend stayed in mom’s side. Wife and I stay at father’s side cabin with just his wife. His Wife’s 3 daughters and family’s stayed a town away down the mountain among extended family. Anyway, beautiful wedding takes place. My wife is sent into town to collect flowers and run errands for my mom which she happily obliged to since she is a solitary person and did not want wedding day drama. Day after, we are loading our rental sedan with our bags. Mom and grandma need a ride to the airport and our flight is before theirs so they will drop off the car for us 4 hours or so after we go to the airport 5 hours from current time. We’re loading the car. Stepcousin passed out in mother’s cabin night before and needed a ride. Disorganized brunch for 20 people is trying to be made. Father’s wife’s daughter books a reservation for 10 people which include her family, her sisters, me, my wife, dad, and their mom. My stepdad had left for home at this point as he had taken his own suv instead of flying with my mom and 90 year old grandma. So mom is trying to pack grandma in the car with bags and my wife and stepcousin. At this point mother asks stepmother if she and grandma are on reservation for the brunch. Stepmom says no they are not, she wasn’t sure of their plans. Mom says under her breath “fucking assholes, so typical,” and she goes into a bit of a rage to which my stepmom says here “it’s ok I will call and add you two it’s no big deal.” So we continue packing the car and realize we won’t all fit. So my wife tells my stepcousin to go ride with my father to the restaurant 10 minutes away we will meet you there. Mom says to wife, “no you go with the father.” Wife says “no I am going to ride with my husband” mom gets close to her face with her finger and says “this is my car, you can fucking Uber!” Wife is 6 weeks pregnant at this point and it all escalated from here. wife and mother start yelling at each other swearing at each other and we get into the car, mom behind wife who was in shotgun. 2 occasions on the trip I had to stop the car because mom had taken off her seatbelt to stand over the seat and scream in my wife’s face with so much vigor that spit came on to her face multiple times. I’m trying to tell them both to behave and mom sit down shut the f up. Mom is telling wife to get the f out of the car and find a ride, she has no right to speak because she’s “new here” (dating and living together for 3 years at this point). The following brunch she apologized in a crowd with a hushed voice at a table of 20 people trying to have a group conversation again privately to my wife “I’m sorry you get so upset” and my wife told her “that is not an apology.” The following several hours in the car with grandma and stepcousin and wife were some of the most uncomfortable moments of my life. At a gas station I pulled my mom aside and said I need ther to give a huge apology, that it was so nasty and inappropriate, my brother and I are used to abusive language and aggressive behavior but to my pregnant wife and any other human being it is disgusting and unacceptable. Sitting in the car was quiet for many hours until we got to the airport. No speaking about what happened just mom happy go lucky about Tennessee and Dollywood and wife and I in shock, cousin still half in the bag from a fun wedding, grandma 90 years old probably confused about what happened.
The family groupchat: Im waiting on an apology from my mother to my wife who is extremely hurt and expressed to my mom loads of time she needs to reach out and apologize. We’re not talking until she will do so. It is bugging me and keeping me up at night. My appendix flares up and I am admitted to the hospital with emergency appendectomy. Still pregnant Wife suggests I reach out to mom to let her know what’s going on. So I text mom I’m at the hospital and will have surgery. I send a pic or something that on my end says hasn’t gone through. Mom group texts our family group with stepdad, his daughters, brother and his wife, and grandma that I am in the hospital and attaches the pic I sent of me in there. Then she continues to rave about the success of her startup company and how they got FDA approved clinical trials finally completed or some pivotal moment that made the text about her. Wife and I are in a hospital so the picture comes up on moms end as unable to have been sent. Mom assumes that my wife has blocked her phone, so mom removes my wife from the chat. Wife is rushing home to take care of the dogs at this point and is not alerted on her phone, but on everyone else’s phone it clearly reads “(mom) has removed (wife) from the chat.” Immediately I text my mom and basically say how dare you do that to her she is the one who insisted I let you know out of respect and mom responds with blah blah she did this she did that I will not have it. So I go back to the family chat and remove mother. At this point I let everyone in the chat know what my mother has done and how she refuses to take responsibility for how she made my wife feel, address her feelings, apologize or do anything at all to reach out about the wedding incident or even inquire about the wellbeing of the pregnancy for her first grandchild. Stepdad finally steps in and tells me “enough.” Grandma says “shame on you.” I am dumbfounded. This is a hush hush family that hates to have anything out in the open and likes to maintain a picture perfect image. For examples; 1) I and wife were on the family Christmas card of a photo taken at the wedding that the whole world received except for wife and I. 2)brothers alcoholism was to remain hidden from the family as was his rehab treatment and how it affected his career. Now understand that they like to keep things quiet but that is not how I want to handle my problems, these things trigger alcohol use and violent outbursts on my part that I no longer wish to live through. Now appendectomy’s are pretty simple so I recovered quickly (it don’t rupture we just took it out). But during the time I was scheduled to be under anesthesia, stepdad reaches out to wife to have a chat and clear the air. Wife waits until I come to so i can be there and I hear the conversation. He claims to be here as a middleman like a business meeting to fix things once and for all. Wife and I are like wow great. He then proceeds to double down on my moms behalf that they will not be apologizing or meet any of her demands as she had already apologized as confirmed by 90yo grandma who was in the car and my mother herself. The term he used was stalemate to describe the situation. Wife and I are shocked but she has me keep quiet to show me what he will say. He proceeds to yell at her and they were screaming at each other, again steamrolling the conversation assuring us that he was down the middle yet maintains that mom has made a sufficient apology that needs to be accepted and wife needs to grow up and move on, then wishing her luck with the baby and a nice life. Next day I call stepdad to see how it went. He reassures me that he has done all he can and everything is back to normal. At this point I call him out and tell him I was conscious and explain to him what an apology is. But there is no dialogue with this guy like there is no dialogue with my mother. He proceeds to talk loudly over me like she does and basically call me a piece of shit for the amount he and mother have done for me. I speak to him first time like I never have before by calling him a hands off father and a pussy of a man who finally reaches out while he thinks I am under anesthesia to yell at my wife then pretend it’s cool, and I basically tell him he has never done a single thing for me to try and develop me into a man or nurture me as a child into an adult, but he thinks taking me on fishing trips and ski vacations are equivalent to love and nurturing growth and development just like my mom does. I reassure him that he has no right to talk about family being that he ruined his own as well as mine and couldn’t even tell my dad to his face that it was him who was sleeping with my mom behind his back when my dad came to him very upset as a friend when he got an anonymous phone tip at work one day. Then him and my mom laughed about it in court when my dad brought it up during the divorce. We ended with swearing and I felt very happy for finally giving my true feelings to him.
The birth: Months go by and nobody has said a thing. I can’t sleep at night seeing how much love I am getting from my father and his side for the baby, and my wife’s family, then thinking about how my own mother hasn’t reached out a single time. I’m dreaming about beating up my stepdad and it’s driving me mad. So weeks before the due date I reach out to my mom begging her to clear things up and apologize to my wife. Nothing. A week later i tell her how disappointed and abandoned I feel and want her in the family. Nothing. Baby comes a couple days early. Everyone is excited. Mom texts me begging for photos and to let everyone know. I tell her my brother and two stepsisters have received photos. I ask her to please reach out to wife she still needs to make amends for what’s happened between them and all she needs to do is reach out. Mom’s responses have been defensive, derisive, projecting, playing victim and referring to herself as a kicked puppy. Telling me my wife needs to apologize to her and making the conversation about mother son instead. She is beating around the bush. And she is sending me photos of my own baby that I did not send her. Her friends are congratulating me that I did not tell. Again she is pretending that everything is ok and it is not. She asked me to apologize to her husband for what I said on the phone that day. I said ok, watch this. So I sent the guy a message that was very apologetic and not passive aggressive or backhanded comments in any way. Still my mom won’t say anything.
Now: Baby is 6 days old. He is the best thing in my life and I wish my family were involved but it seems like I am living in a fantasy world where everyone can be happy together. I can be a jerk and have a terrible relationship with my mom, but I want more than anything to just feel loved enough where she can swallow her pride and make amends with my wife. Thats it. And she asked the other day to put a family group chat so everyone can be involved… for real? I know she is stressed with a high pressure job, but it seems heartless to me. She asks what big items she can get for the baby. Mom, baby is here we have everything for a couple months already. I said the biggest thing you can do is reach out and have a heart to heart with my wife so this rift can end and we can at least be cordial if you two can’t get along. I don’t think it will happen.

Are there firms or investors that take a passive interest to help capitalize RIAs? Issue is replacing very high current salaries before sustainable revenues follow in 1-2 years. Any traditional business loans seem unattainable given large $ loan vs low assets and hearsay assumptions in business plan.
If so are these investors truly passive? (Presumably they want liquidity, how do they get it- ideally could force liquidate them on RIA’s terms and get them off cap table, even at healthy premium, say 12+ x net income on their share)
What are the industry baseline assumptions on discount rates, valuations, growth, etc to be able to imply a value?
Where are the landmines in these deals?
Honestly is seems like personal HELOC bridge financing is the best access to capital but are there other creative options that are more palatable business-entity-level options for spouses who are hesitant to agree to loss of significant current income?

Hello Reddit!
So I work as IT Support Manager for a medium-sized software development company. I have under me all Internal IT branches of support, which consist on 4 full teams. Since we are a small department, I've also had under scope most of ITIL management activities (Problem, Change, etc). I have been on this department for almost 4 years and I can say that I am fairly happy here although since day one the list of responsibilities I have is way wider than the paycheck or the title (I have had SD Team Lead as title for almost 3 of those 4 years). The biggest cons, by far, is the lack of long term strategy and the fact that the strategy itself changes with every new IT director we have (and we had three during this 4 years period). Also, I believe our CEO does not understand the importance of having a strong Internal IT so we are consistently underfunded, under resourced and constantly asked to do cost reductions. However, I have a beautiful relationship with my teams (I recruited everyone personally), my manager, my direct colleague and my vendors. My manager is an old guy (he will retire in approx. 2 years) with whom I get along very very well, but I am also conscious that he is the guy that puts all the excess of work over my shoulders and the one who doesn't raise my salary as much as he should :)
Recently, I was approached by the CISO, who offered me a place on his team as a IS&C Officer. I am a geek of cybersecurity and I have always been specially interested on this topic, and on top of that I feel my company has a lot of work to do on that matter, so I am flattered he wants me specifically, not going to lie. We have worked together in the past so he knows what I bring to the table, so this would be an "easy" career change. I also know the people who would be my direct colleagues and I get along with them well. However, I wouldn't be managing people, which is something I personally like a lot, and I have been doing since 2017.
One of the biggest issues though, is the animosity between my manager and the CISO. My manager is one of the people that brush off security concerns too fast and the CISO is gaining importance inside the organization, so this will sharpen their relationship even more, and I know this will create bigger issues if he "steals" me from Internal IT. In other words, I don't think my manager will take well if I apply to this particular position.
Looking into the future, I also need to consider IA to my current career: IA will definitely impact all Support branches and in some years we may very well not have L1 and L2 of support, for example. I however see Cybersecurity as a career which is getting more and more importance and will always need a human behind to think and implement policies.
In terms of salary, I make 45K right now and this position is also on 45k, which is a fair one taking into consideration I would get the role without previous specific Security experience, so money-wise
So as you can see, I am extremely confused with the next step: staying on an overworked role with no long term strategy, but with a fantastic work environment or embracing a new opportunity that is exciting but will imply not managing people, implies a change of career and can strand the relationships between departments?
All advice is more than welcome :)

Yesterday I was working a career fair tabling event with my employer (health service administration) where we were contracted out to have an advising tabling event at a nearby college. I think they do it every semester and pay local companies or organizations to come out and talk to interested students or help guide them.
I have one student she has been calling, emailing, and texting the company email on our business card yesterday and starting today. She’s been contacting us multiple times to my company stating we are responsible and need to help her find a high paying advanced job, with 0 experience, doesn’t speak English well, or any entry level skills, and no education.
The only thing she has is she is determined and said once she gets her health science degree it’s over for all us entry level workers. My supervisor who I worked with yesterday is out today, and said it’s up to me to give advising information.
I’m trying to find something professional and helpful to say, but I don’t really know what to advise on. I started out with the degree and worked around to get experience before being here. But she wants $100,000 starting salary job and even I don’t know where to find that, because if we all did wouldn’t we be in that place right now? Even my supervisor said the same thing.
Edit: I used the advice from the top 2 comments and replied to her with it, haven’t heard anything back so maybe it helped.

Hello otai2, i’m a 26M, for the first time is jumping ship to another company within the same field (Healthcare). I need to communicate my decision by tomorrow. Currently, i’m working as a product specialist and i have two offers on the table (three but the third company hasn’t sent their offer but should be within this week). I apologize for the formatting as i’m writing this down using phone. Any advice on which path i should choose is greatly appreciated.
The two offers are:
Sales Represntative - Sales job, need to sell medicine/supplements to GP and bring in figure. No figure, bye-bye. A lot of figures, smiling like no tomorrow. - Salary + Allowances = RM 5,500 - Commissions based on sales - MNC - Monday office, Tuesday - Friday Hybrid - Office is near, sales region i need to cover is far away (Live in PJ, need to cover Semenyih down to Negeri Sembilan)
Business Development Executive - Name is business development, but role similar to my current job (product specialist), need to attend cases everyday to guide surgeons in OT - Salary + Allowance = RM 4,200 - On-site incentive. Each case attend, more money (RM 100-250 depending how long the case). - 13th month guaranteed bonus - SME - Office is near, but need to cover whole klang valley hospitals

1. Is working in a MNC better than SME?
2. Should i prioritise a bigger base salary now or better pathway (BDM in future)?
3. Am i able to negotiate salary as they have only sent me an offer whether to accept or reject, not an offer letter? Or is it usually their final offer?

I know this is a biglaw sub, but i know a lot of big law exits are to in-house roles so hopefully yall can help. If this isn’t the right place, let me know and I’ll delete!
I am in-house at a fortune 100 doing tech transactions. The minimum experience required for my role was 8-10 years, but I was able to join as a 6/7th year due to having worked with some of the attorneys in the past.
I’m not sure if I was bumped down in salary because of being “junior”, but I’m curious now if my salary all-in tracks for typical 7th year in-house roles. I’m at $250k all-in (not including benefits, 401k matching etc.)
Based on your experiences/situations, does this track or am I leaving money on the table because my team thinks I’m a little more “junior”
Edit: Sr. Counsel in TX

Introduction

There was a post that was recently posted and it's been asked a ton: "How do I get a computer science related job after I graduate from KSU?". I thought I'd share this with everyone because I've been down this path and managed to make it on the other side. This will be a long explanation and hopefully, can serve as some sort of guide for students. That being said, things are subjective and this is not the holy grail of how to make it. You might find all, some or none of it useful. I encourage testimonials and whatnot in the comments. Can be applied to all majors but, this primary for technology-based majors since I am in tech field. YMMV

About Me

I've been around here for a while. I was a student not too long ago, studied computer science for my bachelors. After graduating, I work in FAANG and have worked in big tech for a while. No, I don't work at Amazon. I am a senior software engineer. I touch frontend & backend technologies. I participate in hiring frequently.

Starting Out

Over the years and while attending here, there's been a weird disconnect between students, goals and how to achieve them in tech. Goals can be anywhere from learning new technologies, getting internships to securing a full time job before or after you graduate. As much as I would love for there to be a path where you can do minimum effort and still succeed, there isn't. A lot of you seem to not realize that. Getting a degree in this field is not enough. Doing projects that show no passion / interests is not enough. Being stuck on tutorials for years is not enough.
This field is much like a sport. There are very few people that can just be great without any effort. You have to be consistent. Four years is not a lot of time. It goes by super fast. If you constantly push things back and you do not take the time to learn the fundamentals outside the classroom, you will not succeed in this field. This field is at a point where there's so many of you. Every post on LinkedIn and news articles said "hey, this field is a gold mine and you'll make six figures out the gate". For a time, maybe that was somewhat true. As of writing this, it's not. You're going against people who have: better schools, better experience, etc. You have to find a way to diversify yourself early. If you can't diversify, you're going to be in a tough place later down the road. Knowledge not something you can just consume in less than an hour and pass an interview. You have to know it well. If you don't, there's someone else who will.
There's an interesting connotation in life that you're either born super smart or an absolute idiot and that you have to be smart to do computer science / programming. There are people with raw IQ that can consume things like no one you've ever met but, that's such a rarity that there's no realistic use in using that as a data point. If you ever took the time to ask someone who you thought was really good at something, they would tell you something along the lines of: I love what I do and I spent a lot of time doing this. There are hours and hours of time people put into passions that you don't / will never see. Meaning that they can no-life this shit for days on end and still come back and do it some more. It doesn't mean that you can't succeed if don't do that but, computing / programming is a very boring field if you do not enjoy it. I would seriously contemplate why you're going through this. If you're doing it for money and only money, you're going to end up miserable. No amount of money can make you do something you hate. It'll wear you down both mentally and physically. If you're doing this because it's a mix of passion and money, you're like everyone else and you gave yourself naturally a better shot. It's a mental thing. Don't climb uphill if you rather sit at the bottom. Don't complain if you're at the bottom and you rather be at the top. There's nothing wrong with that. But, don't do it. For what it's worth, I am not the smartest person. I graduated high school with a low GPA and took college seriously because I wanted to do more with my life. Plus, being on hourly forever sounds horrible imo. Use the opportunities that life has given to you and run with it. Run far, run smart and run in a direction that you can see yourself going long-term.
Additionally, college is what you make of it. Blaming professors or the program (while I do agree sometimes) is not a solution. Blaming professors that don't speak English is a cop out. If you work in tech, you'll be interacting with a lot of people from other countries. Suck it up. Work with it instead of against it. Professors and TAs can only teach you so much. Classes are meant to give you a taste of what it's like in that domain / space. It's not meant to fix all your issues and show you the way. That's for you to do on your own time. Take accountability of your own success, explore the internet (it's free) and lock in. Stop looking for opportunities to find you. Actively seek them out yourself.

Networking

Make connections with people. I cannot stress how important this is. Especially on the Marietta campus, there's a lot of you that go to class, eat at stingers / food, run to your rooms and immediately start gaming and think that when your classes are over, you're done for the day. That's a bad mindset. Make connections with people. Sit with random people at stingers or wherever. Have a conversation. Find a common interest. Don't harass men / women for a date while you're at it. Keep it cool. A lot of people say "there's nothing to do at KSU and there's no life on campus". That's not true at all. It's true if you choose to put your head in a box and refuse to look up. Join a club that interests you. Get close to the people in that club who actively attend and build a personal relationship. If there's no club with your interest, make a club. Fuck it, lead one. You can make one officially through KSU or add a discord server to the student hub and go from there. You'll meet some really cool like-minded people. Lots of my connections have come from randomly showing up to a club, getting out of my comfort zone and weirdly enjoying it.

Interviewing

Brush up on your interview skills. Technical and behavioral abilities matter. Culture fit matters. A lot of you seem to walk around with almost zero personal hygiene. Clean yourself up, practice talking to people and get places. There's been this stigma that culture fit doesn't matter as much as technical and if I have great technical abilities, they'll just accept me. I can tell you for an absolutely fact that I have thrown out / tossed out resumes from highly technical individuals that had zero people skills. If you can't communicate and clean up, you're more of a risk than someone who does all those things and has a bit less technical ability. I can teach someone how to code. I can't teach someone how to take a shower or brush their teeth. Know more than just Leetcode. Learn system design. Take a course / watch a video on Linux and bash. Do not be afraid of the command line interface. Understand how things work at a deeper level. Take feedback seriously. Do not argue with people. If you future manager / colleague tells you that you need to work on things, work on those things. There's nothing worse than a co-worker in denial.

Jobs

As for internships and full time opportunities, there's a few classes at KSU that you really want to master: Data structures, Algorithm Analysis, Operating Systems and Discrete math. If you're in a major that doesn't have those classes, spend the extra money and take those classes. Do not take them online if you can afford to come in person. Take the hardest / best professors for those courses. Super important. Leetcode is quite literally, those classes merged together in a prompt-style format. If you do not understand those concepts, you will not make it in this field let alone pass an interview loop.
Data Structures - Varies. Rate my professor.
Algorithm Analysis - Varies. Rate my professor.
Operating Systems - Do not take Carla McManus if you want to learn the concepts fluently.
Discrete Math - Andy Wilson.
Having solid resume is super important. Many people who don't secure things and get automatically rejected, etc have horrible resumes. Spend the money (it's a lot) to get your resume professionally written. It's worth it. Invest in your long term career aspirations. Templates are cool but, they don't convey information well and come across as lazy. Don't put every achievement ever on there. I don't want to see a wall of text. No, I don't care if you're a Boy Scout. No, I don't care if you bussed tables in high school. You get the point. The rule of "only one page" is complete and total bullshit. If you have projects and prior work experience related to the role, list it down. Don't conserve space for the sake of keeping it one page. You're limiting yourself. I know the career center actively tells people on handshake to keep it to one page. They're wrong. I landed internships & full time roles consistently at big tech / FAANG for years with a 1.5 / 2 page resume. Do not lie on your resume. If you can't solve a leetcode hard consistently with the technology / language of choice, you don't know it well enough. I have interviewed a ton of students and people that list they know C or Python and can't write recursion or gives me a solution in O(N^2) or worse. Aim for O(N), use a hashmap / hash table when you can and do it in a language that doesn't make you fight the runtime / compiler. Trust me, we know when you're making shit up. If you don't know something say it and then, tell them to explain more. This way, you show that you have the capability to learn. Ask smart questions. Do not ask questions that have already been answered. Take notes.
On your resume, experience is only real experience if you get a W2. If you don't get a W2, you can't claim it as professional experience. A lot of background checks these days are drilling down on incorrect information. I have seen instances where people lie, get an offer, company finds out through a comprehensive background check and their offer is gone. Do not put the fate of your future income on a lie. I cannot stress this enough. A lot of students and people actively lie.
Secondly, the trick to getting a good internship is timing. A lot of you wait until Nov - Dec to find an internship and then, throw your hands up when no one responds. That's not a good mindset. Solid internships are recruiting in end of July to August. By September, the amount of open spots are extremely thin. Local companies tend to look for internships during this time. Internships are about luck after that. Reach out to people in your circle to increase your odds. A referral goes a long way. Prior experience through projects that are complex and unique go a long way. It's a numbers game. Don't aim for the highest thing ever without some sort of referral. You can still apply but, do not expect much from it. Start small and work your way up. It's extremely rare to go from KSU undergrad sophomore to Google. It takes a lot of outside work. If you happen to land the internship, make sure that you get recommendations at the end. Having real people who you worked with in a professional capacity that can vouch for you is huge. If you're in your junior year and you get an internship, make sure you try to secure a full time offer. Loop in your boss, mentor, etc. Make your expectations clear. Reach their expectations and beyond.
Thirdly, full time opportunities are rare and most new grads that get hired come from the previous year's intern pool. If you don't get converted, you have to make up that time searching for a job during your senior year. If you do get converted, keep looking because companies are flaky these days. Always have a Plan B & C. Never fully count on Plan A. If you don't have internships across four years, it's over for you. From a hiring manager perspective, it's an absolute red flag when we come across someone with a degree and no internships. That's effectively going against the point of college. You'll have to settle for crumbs and crawl your way up. Very few make it out of that hole. The bar is significantly higher. Especially, now.

Searching for an Opportunity

Do not wait until after you graduate to find a job. Jan - Early May are when most companies finalize budgets and hire. If you wait until after May, you'll might have to wait until after the Summer and possibly, October for hiring to pick up again. Proactivity is nothing but good for you. If you can't be proactive then, you won't succeed in this field. Referrals matter but, personal connections with the hiring manager / recruiter are much, much better. Work your way up. Don't discount an opportunity because it doesn't pay well. Get as much experience as you can and bounce around. Do not go into the gate thinking you're going to make $120K - $140K / yr out the gate. You're most-likely going to make $68K - $75K / yr depending on the location. Do not listen to LinkedIn posts that claim all this cool shit and how to do it. Trust me, it's bullshit. Don't pay attention to it. It's a brag-fest. It's a long road. Start walking on it early and you'll reach the other side when it matters most. Trust in it.
The reality of this economy is that highly experience people have been laid off. Those people are applying to entry level roles and those roles are being filled for cheap. In addition, watch out for fake postings and scam jobs. If you take a contract job, always keep looking. Avoid jobs that will providing "training" before you even start. Avoid jobs that are less than week old. You want things that are fresh. It's a numbers game. Apply for 300+ jobs every week until you get a response back. Don't be discouraged by employers who don't respond or ghost you. Keep at it. It's a mental game.

Conclusion

I think if you do these things, you'll end up at a great spot after four years. If you're just now coming across this and you've been slacking, use this an opportunity to wake the fuck up, light a fire under your ass and lock in. If you're still in denial after reading this post and you have yet to get anything, light a fire under your ass, come to terms with it and lock in.
If you're in it to do zero work, cheat on your classes, mess around for four years and somehow wing a high salary or a job in this field, good luck. You're fucked. You're so fucked, in-fact, that you'll be wondering "why me and why is it so hard" for a long ass time. Don't be that person.

Cool Resources

Git - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvUiKWv2-C0
Github (use this as your portfolio; web devs should make an actual clean website) - https://github.com
Github Student Pack (tons of free resources) - https://education.github.com/pack
Linux Handbook - https://linuxhandbook.com/ Linux Quickguide - https://github.com/mikeroyal/Linux-Guide
Lots of subreddits geared around linux and programming. Great resources to find.
Understand: Kernel Space vs. User Space, Memory Allocation / Deallocation, Bitwise Operations, Memory blocks, processes and threads, context switching
System Design Primer - https://github.com/donnemartin/system-design-primer
Understand: Monolith vs. Micro-services, Tradeoffs between different approaches, Vertical vs. Horizontal Scaling, Load Balancers, Buckets, Data lakes, CI / CD Pipelines, Data Clusters, Client-Server Architecture, Synchronous vs. Asynchronous Context: System design is like a giant puzzle that has many forms. Create a basic design. It won't be perfect. Mix-and-match different services and know why, how and tradeoffs between each approach.
Programming language is dependent on the role and what the company favors. Common ones are Java, C++, Python, C#, JavaScript / TypeScript and C. You can look at jobs that you would like to work someday, look at the requirements and use that as a basis on where to start learning. Things constantly change. Fundamentals build up on each other. Start small. Work your way up. Do not dream big. Dream realistic. Everyone is different.

Hi everybody. I’m new here, but I wanted to tell you a story regarding how I left my toxic work environment.
I recently graduated with a PhD in a field that I love. I greatly enjoyed the process (not everyone likes their time in graduate school, but I was an exception because of a tremendous adviser). Upon graduating, due to a slump in the industry, there were not many positions available. So, I interviewed at a small contract research firm (family-owned business with less than 20 employees), and accepted a position there. Even before I took the job, there was something shady about it. As soon as I walked up to introduce myself, one of the managers unenthusiastically introduced themself, and I just felt that this person had a bad attitude in general. This is a family-owned business, so this manager got into an argument with the parents right in front of me, which was something I hadn’t seen before in an interview. After the multi-day interview, they offered me a job, and I accepted because I really wanted a job in my field. The thing is, the organization found me on a recruiting website, which requires them to pay a certain percentage of my salary for finding me. They elected to tell the recruiter that my salary was significantly less than what it was, and slipped me some money under the table in the form of different stipends. Because I was trying to make myself look good in front of my new bosses, I accepted this offer, and tried to justify it because I needed the job. I realize now that this was a mistake.
As I started, I realized that this was going to be a rough environment. There were lots of family working there, which isn’t inherently a bad thing, but there was definitely favoritism shown to said relatives. I was hired to do a specific role, but was not allowed to do the things necessary to make sure the job was done right (i.e. I couldn’t even send an email to a client without checking with the manager, which produced a lot of anxiety because I had to manage a lot of clients and constantly feared retribution from “management”). And then came the butt-chewings. I would get yelled at for the tiniest mistake. There were comments about how “if you do/don’t do such-and-such, I’m gonna be p*ssed” and “you had better do it right the first time, because we cannot afford to do things over again. If things start going badly, we’re gonna get pissy.” So that added to the anxiety and stress, which did not make work fun at all. Add to that the many times where I would do exactly what my manager told me to do, and get disciplined by the owners for not doing it differently.
If things were not done EXACTLY like we were instructed to do them, we would all get ripped. For instance, one of the owners wanted a couple of the employees to get some vehicles cleaned. She said that she wanted everybody to clean a vehicle (despite assigning two employees to lead this task). Well, the owner who said this left later in the day, and the people cleaning the trucks decided that not everybody needed to help because it wouldn’t take long. When the owner found out that not everyone had helped clean the trucks (even though the trucks were spotless), she blew a gasket and was NOT happy. There’s another example for you.
The final straw was when I made a mistake that took 15-20 minutes to fix (due to a miscommunication on my manager’s part), and got cussed at and severely chewed out by one of the owners: “I’m about to blow a gasket. I pay you to get this right. You’re the analyst (real position hidden for anonymity). We cannot afford to be doing sh*t over.” There were more abusive things said, but that’s mainly it. The kicker was that this person said later in the day during a staff meeting that “mistakes are no big deal; we can correct them and it will be fine.” To which I completely disagreed with.
I struggle with anxiety and OCD, so in order to try not to get yelled at, I found myself obsessing over the smallest details. For the past six weeks, I would dry heave and sometimes throw up before work. I found myself in that same time frame down 20 lbs from my start weight due to stress and unclear expectations, and I don’t have that much to lose.
So, ultimately, I made the decision to step down, effective immediately. Since that day, I have been healing mentally, my weight has improved, and I no longer dread the day. I may have to take a job driving for a package delivery service short-term, but there’s no shame in doing what you have to do in order to provide for your family!!
I learned that I will watch out for the warning signs before taking a position, and I will not let myself be yelled at by a boss anymore.

I was on here a few months ago asking about information about getting into a CM role. Gleamed a lot of info, but due to a circumstance that has popped up, I have the opportunity to apply to various PM roles and need more advice. I'm an ex-insurance adjuster (10 years) with a decent amount of construction specific certifications. Education background is a non-construction/engineering bachelors and an MBA, graduated in 2022. I soak up everything I read, and for reference my coffee table book is a masonry code book. I just don't have a ton of experience with construction documents (RFI, SOW's, etc.)
Currently salary around 85-90k which I'm happy with but wouldn't mind starting lower if experience was a thing. Any advice on positions and companies I should apply for? Also, any education courses you think would be beneficial please recommend. Thank you!

I'm currently in what I would call a Rollercoaster job - the highs are very high, the lows very low. There's a lot of chaos, speed and intensity. My role in the company is pretty far from my actual specialism and there's no way to know if I'll ever get a position that's more fitting. Salary and secondary benefits are very good, team consists of a bunch of weirdos meaning I can be myself and have fun, but also there's always a lot of drama.
Another company offered me a "merry go round job". The team seems very mundane, there's no sense of urgency, everything is calm and stable to the point it seems boring. The job won't be very interesting or challenging, but would be within my field of specialism and in that sense a step in the right direction. There's hardly any diversity in the team and there's just very little at stake. No highs, no lows, just easy going. Salary and benefits are uncertain at this point.
I have been looking around for other jobs because all the intensity and drama sometimes comes with ethical decisions I simply don't agree with. Mental health issues/burnout are a huge risk but aren't taken seriously. I don't think this would be even a risk at all in the other company.
Then again my gut says to stay where I am and only give up this weird adventure if something equally exciting comes along. Like, another Rollercoaster job but the within my own field. Is it dumb to wait for this even though it may never happen, while I have a perfectly okay offer on the table for a job that - even though it would be a bit boring - would be a step towards that same goal? How do I know if the investment in my career is worth llosing everything I do like about my Rollercoaster job?

Divorce initiated by spouse, but can file married jointly for next year. NC law requires us to separate for 1 year before filing, but we can setup a separation agreement to guide payments and custody now.
I’m here to ask for help, I’m embarrassed to say how little I know about taxes. I am trying to make a table that accounts for a base salary of $175,000 and a hypothetical bonus of $87,500. I have 3 kids and and will need to pay child support around 10% of gross and alimony we are discussing as a percentage of the net. I am in sales, so the “bonus” is not guaranteed and so I will pay that as it is earned. I cannot “prepay” child support and alimony in a lump sum anticipating a big commission and it does not come in.
I have been asking my payroll contact to help me simulate net pay for different scenarios below, but they don’t offer tax advice.
Does the below sound correct with a Federal Dependent Amount of $6,500 and 3 NC state allowances? I think I am entering in an accurate Federal Dependent Amount at 2k x 3 kids plus 500 for my wife as a dependent.
Gross bi-monthly paycheck is $7,291
Net pay when married With roughly $805 in pretax deductions for 401k and healthcare, net pay is $5,226.40 bi-monthly. A $87,500 bonus would net $57,531. That is from my payroll team, they said it’s taxed at 22% supplemental income federally.
Net pay when single, only 2 kids under 17 and 4k Fed Dependent amount - $4728 net pay bi-monthly - $54,425 net bonus one time
Net pay when single with only 1 kid under 17 and 2k Fed Dependent amount - $4649 net pay bi-monthly - $53,725 net bonus one time
My goal is to not receive a refund and not owe.
TLDR: getting divorced. It’s really hard. Want to be smart in budgeting and understanding my earnings picture with variable compensation. My net income is flat but bonus can be 25k-175k. Assuming a bonus of 87,500, meaning I hit 50% of my target in a modest year, what’s the net total so I can subtract child support and alimony and know confidently what is left for me to live, as I switch to filing single and kids age out of being dependents.
Thank you sincerely for your help.

Thanks to the internet and Reddit the lawyer said I was really prepared for our first consult. The consult fee was $500 per hour prorated and it took just under an hour for our meet and greet and for them to answer my questions. This is what I learned. It may not be completely accurate but hopefully it helps anyone in California.
Child Custody and support:
-Default is 50/50 for legal custody. My wife wanted >50% for both legal and physical custody. For legal custody the only way you would lose 50/50 is if they can prove it would not be in the best interest of the child. So it means you’re abusive etc or your work schedule is so busy you cannot care for them.
-Physical custody percentage will affect child support which is just them punching numbers into a calculator. Ex. https://childsupport.ca.gov/guideline-calculato It’s a good idea to punch in some numbers before hand to have a ballpark in your mind and then have the lawyer do it with their software to see if it’s around the same.
-If you have variable income with bonuses or work a lot of overtime etc. You may want to consider having all calculations based on your base salary and any bonuses paid out using something called an Ostler Smith Table. So if you make 100k base and 50k in bonuses the 100k support is just based on the calculator from above and the 50k would be checked against the Ostler Smith table and you would pay that amount. You would need to give your spouse paystubs every quarter or so to make sure everything is transparent. -You would want to use the Ostler Smith method if you think your bonuses will go down or stay low because you plan to work less -You would want to not use the Ostler Smith method if you think bonuses will go up. Instead you want to lock in a fixed rate. So if you made 100k/year plus 50k in bonuses for several years. Then you want them to calculate your income as 150k because you plan to work extra hard to make up for loss income from the divorce. So if you happen to then make 200k the following year, the alimony is still based on 150k and fixed.
-Other than the above there is no negotiating child support
Alimony: -They just use a calculator to come up with the temporary alimony until they can figure out the alimony after divorce. -Usually it is half the time married in terms of duration unless over 10 years of marriage. -Seems like it can be negotiated if you do not go to trial. If you do the lawyer mentioned something that it’s just a calculation that ends up being around 35% of the higher earner’s monthly.
Asset Division Property falls under community property, separate property and separate and transmuted. Transmuted means you put money earned during marriage into a separate property.
-Community property is everything earned during marriage and is split 50/50. Pretty straightforward as long as everyone is transparent about finances. Ex: You put down 100k for a home and they put in 50k and you pay all the mortgage. House is split 50/50 Ex2: You open a Robinhood account during marriage and put in 5000 and gain 100k. Split 50/50 -Community retirement accounts such as 401k are a bit trickier. But basically spouse can get a lump sum and pay tax on it or they can get a court order and have a QDRO ordered which I believe will tell the financial institution to hold onto a portion for the soon to be ex spouse but the amount is paid out later to avoid taxes.
-Separate property are premarital accounts that are not transmuted. Ex: You have a savings account with 100k that you never put any community money into. -I am unclear how separate brokerage or retirement accounts that are not transmuted are handled. For example if you have a brokerage account with 100k pre marriage and is never transmuted. It is now worth 150k at time of separation. Is the 50k earned community property and split in half or is it considered separate. The lawyer told me it was separate but I have read it is shared. Probably state law dependent. I am hoping in California it stays separate.
Separate property that is transmuted. Ex: You buy a house pre marriage. Mortgage during marriage is paid with community funds. They need the amount you put in prior to marriage and the value of the home prior to marriage, the amount or community mortgage paid and the value of home prior to legal separation. Then they do some math. One of the calculators is Moore Marsden calculator.

Ex: 401 or brokerage account prior to marriage that has community funds. See above. Need before and after values and someone will calculate it all out. QDRO will be useful if you want to avoid taxes. 

So I created a spreadsheet with all the assets organized with rough numbers and presented to the lawyer and he basically said great. Now get statements prior to marriage and date of separation and they can have a numbers person figure out the division. So it only gets tricky if people are hiding assets.
I hope this helps anyone in California and again I am not sure how correct this is but it was my experience with my first meeting with lawyer.

Hi there— I’m a PMM with about 4 years of experience under my belt. I’m the kind of person that won’t turn down interviews / recruiter chats because if these past two years have taught us anything it’s always be ready to jump ship.
I have a PMM role at services company, that’s going on it’s 2nd year of slightly missing pipe & rev goals. I have an offer on the table as a senior PMM in a fintech, blockchain company with a substantial salary lift.
Should I go? The blockchain industry seems iffy and layoff prone… would love to know this group’s thoughts.

This is for a steampunk-inspired fantasy world where people can manipulate a magical metal called quicksteel at will.
Introduction
While “No Man’s Land” is considered a desert frontier by most, it has been the home of a native population for centuries: The neksut nomads. The neksut travel from oasis to oasis, riding horses and herding sheep and other animals. Though some Neksut have fearsome reputations as warriors, the neksut way of life is under threat from foreign settlers, most of whom see the as unsophisticated.
Recreation
Though outsiders will confidently claim the neksut have no arts to speak of (or even no culture at all), in truth the desert riders have rich musical and storytelling traditions. The neksut are great lovers of song, specializing in throaty chants. Singing is often heard while the tribe is on horseback or around the camp at night, and is typically collaborative, with a lead singer being echoed by several others. The most famous songs are epic historical and mythical tales, such as The Stone Men, Ballad of the Besieger, and Death of Pulcros. Musical instruments include string and woodwind devices, carved from wood and richly decorated.
However perhaps the greatest neksut art is quicksmithing itself. Manipulating quicksteel is vital to the nomads’ way of life, allowing them to effortlessly convert carts into temporary dwellings and back again. But with excess metal, neksut quicksmiths (called shapers in their language) often create temporary sculptures that will be deconstructed when the tribe moves on. Such sculptures are very abstract, often embodying the mood or state of the tribe at the time of construction. To the neksut, the impermanence of this art represents the transient nature of their way of life and of life itself.
Food
The neksut diet is heavily dictated by their nomadic lifestyle, and is fittingly dominated by the products of domesticated animals, principally horses and sheep. Milk is the most important element, and is drank as well as made into cheese, yogurt, or a dry powder. These dairy products are paired with meat from either domestic sheep or from hunted jackalopes or roastritches. Contrary to popular belief, the neksut do not eat their horses, save in rare cases when an animal dies or is too old to keep up with the tribe. Such animals are far too valuable as mounts and sources of milk to be consumed, and in fact an idiom meaning “eating one’s horse” is a neksut expression for one who has not thought things through.
Vegetables and spices (save for salt) are relatively scarce in much of the central desert and thus are scarce in the neksut diet as well. However the nomads make great use of what ingredients they have in a wide variety of dairy and meat meals. Seasoned jackalope jerky with cheese, shredded mutton over yogurt, and roastritch stew are typical. These meals are supplemented with redleaf, roastritch eggs, and whatever foreign ingredients can be traded for. While their cuisine is typically somewhat plain on account of their transient nature, the neksut can put on impressive feasts for special occasions, such as weddings or celebrations. In these cases the traditional meal is the so-called “yogurt table,” in which each participant is given a bowl of yogurt to pair with dozens of small dishes which are passed amongst the tribe.
Gender and Marriage
The neksut are relatively egalitarian in terms of gender. Two reasons for this may be due to their heavy reliance on horses and quicksmithing for their way of life; Mares are actually far superior mounts to stallions (due to their smaller size and milk), and the necessity for quicksmithing to set up camps and carts means that female quicksmiths cannot be disregarded, as all hands are needed. Thus neksut women can be warriors, chieftains, and shamans, with Salaris the Sandstorm and Mist-Eyes being prominent examples. However outside of these important roles, their still is a gendered division of labor in most tribes. Neksut often marry outside the tribe, with young men and women being sent to other tribes as dictated by shamans.
Government
Neksut governance is divided between chieftains and shamans. Chieftains lead tribes from one oasis to another, ultimately ending their journey at a religious site. Shamans oversee religious sites and help select the next route taken by the passing tribes, coordinating movements between different tribes so that resources are given time to replenish. The balance of power between these two roles has varied over time, though currently shamans seemingly hold the dominant role. Shamans serve an important logistical purpose in organizing the travels of tribes and arranging marriages, but they also act as culture repositories, with the shared language, history, and customs of the neksut likely owing to the shamans’ influence. Thus the Neksut are considered one culture and not a dozen.
Religion
Though their mythology purports to explain the origins of humanity, the first mentions of the neksut in the historical record dates to the aftermath of the Great Dying. Some scholars have suggested that the neksut might share common ancestry with some of the people of Tolmika, noting common elements between neksut religion and the Faith of the Heeders.
Neksut religion is centered around the earth and the sky. According to their mythology, the desert was originally a paradise that was the birthplace of the first humans, the Stone Men, who were the children of the earth and the sky. These children crafted a vast civilization from the abundant resources, living like gods for centuries. But over time they forgot their place, abusing the land and ignoring the sky. Eventually, the parents punished their offspring; The earth sent forth earthquakes and eruptions, while the sky whipped up duststorms and withheld the rain. The paradise transformed into the great desert, and most of the children died or fled, leaving their civilization to crumble. But one child, “Neksut”, remained and resolved to repent by living off the land even in these harsh conditions, slaying his fellow stone men. The neksut trace their origins to this figure. They see their own lifestyle as a continuation of that repentance, and view other civilizations as a recreation of their ancestor’s mistakes.