Traditional dating definition
TraditionalDating
2020.11.21 21:33 HedgeRunner TraditionalDating
Dating Apps are terrible. Dating subs aren't honest. Let's change that here. Traditional dating as realizing the benefits of a gender specializing in certain roles yet not applying rigid gender roles. We'd like to think we're beyond such simple definitions. Both personal posts and meta posts are welcome! We're pretty new so I don't want to set any hard rules yet!
2010.06.22 08:45 JustinPA Izmir
Izmir is a city on Turkey’s Aegean coast. Known as Smyrna in antiquity, it was conquered by Alexander the Great and the Ottoman Empire, and retains landmarks from its long, rich history. Kemeraltı, the traditional bazaar district, is home to the Kızlarağası Han, a market in a restored inn, and Hisar Mosque, dating to the 1500s.
2010.09.15 02:09 noonches Forever Alone, Together!
A subreddit for Forever Alone folks. Official Discord server: https://discord.com/invite/TvDz9jB
2024.05.15 13:09 blessed-1319 Will the Narc finally leave me alone once he's moved on with a new supply
Hi all. My dad was a narc, my ex husband who was physically abusive was a narc, the guy I dated soon after divorcing my ex husband was a narc. Unfortunately I didn't know about narcissist but I have learnt alot in the last year or so.
The last narc I dated came in as my rescuer after I divorced my ex husband that situation wrnt south real quick after months. He finally got me in his Web then he'd go and come back as usual and this went on for almost 3 years and I broke up with him a few times in there as well. I was actually dealing with his drug addiction, his narcissist mother who's also an alcoholic amongst other things. It was hell. Anyway I finally had enough after him and his racist mother had their finally attack and walked away in October 2022. Since then I had a 2 hovers in that year which didn't work and he was pissed and I had a reverse hover in June of 2023 when I was still recovering and didn't know the ins and outs of narcissist people. Anyway, from that day I went no contact. He said that he was seeing someone which I'm not surprise cause although he is Hideous on the inside and out he has all the ascetic of a normal person. House, car, good job, so he can get someone who's still asleep if he tried dangling money in their face. I said to him I didn't need someone onto of me to be over him and I never heard from him again.
I did hear from his friend the next month and later on thar year which I realised he was a flying monkey. Everything he'd ask me he'd go right back and tell him I assumed and I knew that was the case from the last phone call cause the friend said to he me that the ex has someone new which I knew he was seeing her for a long time but hoping that I'd some how come back to play his game cause she is not high grade supply like me. Definitely a downgrade when I saw the picture of them that year. She's clearly trying to look like me but won't ever be me. Nevertheless, I don't care about him her, I'm just indifferent to the situation and to be honest I hope he stays there and gets whatever he thinks he's looking for. He's an Evil vile person and so is his mother and they'll get there's either in this life or the next so will my ex husband.
I changed my number since last year and I have no social media. I deal with my ex husband accordingly for the children but my knowledge on narcissistic people has helped me tremendously so I can manage in that situation but with the last I hope he will never contact me again as I see no way he can. No one he knows has my contact number, he thinks I've moved city cause that's what it told his flying monkey and that same week I spoke to the flying monkey and gave no interest in him, his new supply of show any interest of ever getting in contact or back with him he immediately posted his picture of him and the new supply which I hope to believe that since he's upgraded her my smear campaign can end, flying monkeys can stay at bay and he can move on with the trash he deserves and I can continue to live my life.
It's been 1 year and 7 months since I left the last Narc. It's been 11 months since no contact with him directly and 7 months since no contact with the flying monkey. I think I'm safe. My advice would be to take your time to heal, find your faith, search for your purpose, invest time, love and energy into yourself and the people that truly love and care for you and always remember that actions speak louder than words. Never look at ascetic but look deep within a person before you connect yourself intimately with them. I've learnt the hard way and at 38 I haven't given up on love I'm just giving myself time, enjoying my children and being patient as I believe what is for you would never pass you by and I'm a good person so I will receive my blessings on this life or the next.
submitted by blessed-1319 to NarcSurvivors [link] [comments]
The last narc I dated came in as my rescuer after I divorced my ex husband that situation wrnt south real quick after months. He finally got me in his Web then he'd go and come back as usual and this went on for almost 3 years and I broke up with him a few times in there as well. I was actually dealing with his drug addiction, his narcissist mother who's also an alcoholic amongst other things. It was hell. Anyway I finally had enough after him and his racist mother had their finally attack and walked away in October 2022. Since then I had a 2 hovers in that year which didn't work and he was pissed and I had a reverse hover in June of 2023 when I was still recovering and didn't know the ins and outs of narcissist people. Anyway, from that day I went no contact. He said that he was seeing someone which I'm not surprise cause although he is Hideous on the inside and out he has all the ascetic of a normal person. House, car, good job, so he can get someone who's still asleep if he tried dangling money in their face. I said to him I didn't need someone onto of me to be over him and I never heard from him again.
I did hear from his friend the next month and later on thar year which I realised he was a flying monkey. Everything he'd ask me he'd go right back and tell him I assumed and I knew that was the case from the last phone call cause the friend said to he me that the ex has someone new which I knew he was seeing her for a long time but hoping that I'd some how come back to play his game cause she is not high grade supply like me. Definitely a downgrade when I saw the picture of them that year. She's clearly trying to look like me but won't ever be me. Nevertheless, I don't care about him her, I'm just indifferent to the situation and to be honest I hope he stays there and gets whatever he thinks he's looking for. He's an Evil vile person and so is his mother and they'll get there's either in this life or the next so will my ex husband.
I changed my number since last year and I have no social media. I deal with my ex husband accordingly for the children but my knowledge on narcissistic people has helped me tremendously so I can manage in that situation but with the last I hope he will never contact me again as I see no way he can. No one he knows has my contact number, he thinks I've moved city cause that's what it told his flying monkey and that same week I spoke to the flying monkey and gave no interest in him, his new supply of show any interest of ever getting in contact or back with him he immediately posted his picture of him and the new supply which I hope to believe that since he's upgraded her my smear campaign can end, flying monkeys can stay at bay and he can move on with the trash he deserves and I can continue to live my life.
It's been 1 year and 7 months since I left the last Narc. It's been 11 months since no contact with him directly and 7 months since no contact with the flying monkey. I think I'm safe. My advice would be to take your time to heal, find your faith, search for your purpose, invest time, love and energy into yourself and the people that truly love and care for you and always remember that actions speak louder than words. Never look at ascetic but look deep within a person before you connect yourself intimately with them. I've learnt the hard way and at 38 I haven't given up on love I'm just giving myself time, enjoying my children and being patient as I believe what is for you would never pass you by and I'm a good person so I will receive my blessings on this life or the next.
2024.05.15 13:08 KawaiiGiver Nag-away na naman kami
Nag-away na naman kami ng boyfriend ko kagabi at hanggang ngayon hindi pa din kami nag-uusap. January palang kasi napag-usapan na namin yung birthday niya kahit June pa and we agreed na we will celebrate it together. We were planning to have a staycation so magpapabook na sana ako sa date before his birthday since overnight naman yun, and I wanted to be there with him exactly at 12 am ng birthday niya and be the first one who will greet him. I do have expectations and plans na on my mind but suddenly, he told me last night na he has a personal tradition daw to be alone on his birthday para magkaroon ng self-reflection. Ang akala niya daw pala na yung plano kong celebration is hindi sa mismong birthday niya, like hindi mismo sa date na yun.
I got disappointed sa nalaman ko at para bang pinilit ko sa kanya na I wanted to celebrate it with him sa mismong birthday niya. Hindi niya daw magets kung bakit pinagbabawalan ko siya na icelebrate ang birthday niya kasama ang sarili niya. Bakit daw ba ako nangengealam eh masyado daw personal yun sa kanya. I was insisting naman na 12 pm ang out namin sa staycation so may time pa siya mapag-isa pero yung mismong date daw kasi ang importante dun.
Ngayon sobra akong nasaktan sa nangyari kasi nasabihan pa kong pakialamera. Ang dami pala talaga naming differences since sanay ako na pasayahin yung mga taong mahal ko sa buhay sa mismong birthday nila. Di ko na tuloy alam kung pano ulit namin to pag-uusapan.
submitted by KawaiiGiver to OffMyChestPH [link] [comments]
I got disappointed sa nalaman ko at para bang pinilit ko sa kanya na I wanted to celebrate it with him sa mismong birthday niya. Hindi niya daw magets kung bakit pinagbabawalan ko siya na icelebrate ang birthday niya kasama ang sarili niya. Bakit daw ba ako nangengealam eh masyado daw personal yun sa kanya. I was insisting naman na 12 pm ang out namin sa staycation so may time pa siya mapag-isa pero yung mismong date daw kasi ang importante dun.
Ngayon sobra akong nasaktan sa nangyari kasi nasabihan pa kong pakialamera. Ang dami pala talaga naming differences since sanay ako na pasayahin yung mga taong mahal ko sa buhay sa mismong birthday nila. Di ko na tuloy alam kung pano ulit namin to pag-uusapan.
2024.05.15 12:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 12:49 FlixGoddess current sweet fragrance obsessions!
 | I'm a typical vanilla / sweet scents loving girlie and these two have captured my heart! submitted by FlixGoddess to DesiFragranceAddicts [link] [comments] Westside Paris- Notes (as per website): Plum, raspberry, pear, musk, vanilla and sugary notes This absolutely that sophisticated scent that can be worn to office or on a date night, you'll smell absolutely yummy!! Omg I'm obsessed this scent is so gorgeous! ❤️ Longevity: 4-5 hrs, fades slightly towards the end of the day. Price: 10ml - Rs. 295 100ml - Rs. 1495 Verdict: Definitely repurchasing this for life! 🥰 Plum's Smokin' Vanilla Mist- Notes ( as per website): Top: honey suckle, woody Middle: vanilla, balsam Base: white musk, amber I had liked the vanilla vibes initially, but then when I tried this one, my mind was blown! I'm honestly shook by the performance of this! Considering that this is a mist it still lasts for a good 6-7 hrs and I can smell it on my clothes all day 🔥 Price: 150ml- Rs. 499 I'll be getting the EDP varint going forward fod better performance. (10ml- 345 rs and 50ml- 899) Verdict: Repurchasing for life! 🥰 Also, I've been eyeing burberry goddess but it'll have to wait for now since 💸 If y'all have any affordable, bang for the buck options do let me know 🥰 |
2024.05.15 12:44 Intelligent_Top_2269 Imagine you HAD to mine, what do you mine right now?
I have an oddly unique situation. Let me preface this by saying that I know mining is redundant and impractical.
However, given my situation it only makes sense. I am moving in with my father over the winter. The cunt hates heaters. He'll come say hey, realise the heaters on and throw a fit.
So to avoid this I will be using a second PC I have to heat my small room. I don't care if it bursts into flames. It's got a 1080 ti, 1060 and 2 780s (if I can make that work).
You might be thinking, sell the 1080 ti, buy a $10 space heater and call it a day. Well.... this card from 2017 used a unique dual bios that is determined by display cable configuration, as a solution to 2017 VR, that was discarded 12 months later. Hdmi2 is how you configure the bios with this card. Hdmi2 is physically broken beyond repair and this 1080 ti ONLY works in 1 PC out of 8 I have tested. Albeit flawlessly. The system it works in is an old z87 with i5 4670k and 12gb ram. I have tested in other z87s, it definitely only works in the 1 system.
I'm struggling to find help as mining with personal rigs like this is dead. If anyone has some up-to-date insight, can send me in the right direction, or can let me know if this is still a bad idea, I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks.
submitted by Intelligent_Top_2269 to Ravencoin [link] [comments]
However, given my situation it only makes sense. I am moving in with my father over the winter. The cunt hates heaters. He'll come say hey, realise the heaters on and throw a fit.
So to avoid this I will be using a second PC I have to heat my small room. I don't care if it bursts into flames. It's got a 1080 ti, 1060 and 2 780s (if I can make that work).
You might be thinking, sell the 1080 ti, buy a $10 space heater and call it a day. Well.... this card from 2017 used a unique dual bios that is determined by display cable configuration, as a solution to 2017 VR, that was discarded 12 months later. Hdmi2 is how you configure the bios with this card. Hdmi2 is physically broken beyond repair and this 1080 ti ONLY works in 1 PC out of 8 I have tested. Albeit flawlessly. The system it works in is an old z87 with i5 4670k and 12gb ram. I have tested in other z87s, it definitely only works in the 1 system.
I'm struggling to find help as mining with personal rigs like this is dead. If anyone has some up-to-date insight, can send me in the right direction, or can let me know if this is still a bad idea, I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks.
2024.05.15 12:44 shaneka69 LIBRA ZODIAC PREDICTIONS MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 12:37 Unable-System-6456 My boyfriend (20M) couldn’t go see a concert in his state because of major insecurity on my part, and he missed out hearing one of his favourite songs from her live, it was probably the one and only chance he ever could’ve had. How do i (F24) get over this guilt and make it up to him?
i’ve tried writing this out a lot of times but i keep rambling, so i’ve tried to write this as short as i can (even tho it’s still long) with as much context as possible, but there’s a TLDR if you don’t wanna read the whole thing.
—
my boyfriend and i (ldr but we have met twice now) are both pretty big fans of this one female singers music.
we had a sexual conversation a few months into our relationship (before we met for the first time) about celebrities we found attractive before we met each other (and i guess at that moment too?) and he sent a gif of her, and i ended up feeling very very sick and insecure about it. i tried to push this feeling away but i eventually told him how i felt and he apologised for telling me/how it made me feel.
we met a few weeks later and things were fine but i guess the feeling stayed and just before i went back home, i ended up asking him not to listen to her music because all i could think about is how he thought of her sexually and how it ruined my perspective of her as i always thought of her innocently and her music helped me get through really bad times in my life, so it felt awful and weird and wrong to me. he respected that and i believe he stuck to his word and didn’t listen to her.
we met again 8 ish months later, and she had put out a new album, and a new single for a movie. we ended up listening to the album and single together and he absolutely LOVED the single. like, really, he quoted it all the time and we watched the movie it was written for, and he loved that too so it all tied together, and we ended up talking more about her a lot, we bought merch from hot topic, even joked about buying her skin in fortnite (i know 😭) if she ever became one, and she sort of just became an inside joke, like “yeah whatever i know you think she’s hot idc!!!” where i was joke mad/annoyed about it and he found that funny and it was just some inside joke that developed, and i didn’t care about him wearing her merch or whatever, but over time for whatever reason, those feelings came back again and i felt really insecure about it.
but i didn’t really bring it up and we still listened to her and looked at her vinyls in stores and kept those jokes going, but eventually, he found out that she was going to be in his states capital city for her tour. he obviously wanted to go, and made jokes about going ALL the time. his main reason for wanting to go was so he could hear that single that he loved sm, but i was so sure that she wouldn’t sing it because it was just a single for a movie and why would she, and i told him that and he believed me (bc it made sense and i rly didn’t think she would)
this was in january/feburary of this year, and i left him mid feb. the concert was early march. before i left, i talked to him about how the insecurity and those sick feelings were coming back and he blocked her on spotify and respected how it made me feel.
and well, he didn’t end up going to the concert, partially because i think it was very obvious that i didn’t want him to go even when i joked with him that he could, and also, probably partially because of the cost of the tickets. i never really thought twice about if she played the song or not. and fast forwarding to now, may 2024, i decided that how i felt was ridiculous and after a few conversations with him and a lot of self help videos on youtube about jealousy, i told him i was okay with him listening to her again. and it was hard to start with but i’m more or less fine with it now.
ANYWAY. so the concert was in march, he didn’t go, and time has passed since then. but i was just looking at her setlist for all the shows and i looked at the show in his state that he wanted to go to, and it turns out she DID play the single!!! his state and a few others out of many many dates that she didn’t. she played the ONE song he really wanted to hear, in his state, and she will probably never play it again live, or if she does it definitely wouldn’t be a reoccurring thing and definitely not anywhere near where he lives.
i feel horrible. i feel so guilty. i know it’s just a song, but it’s a cumulative of a lot of feelings and i hate that i felt insecure and jealous and stopped him from doing something fun that he would’ve enjoyed and also heard a very beautiful song that he wouldn’t have been able to any other time, all because of how i felt. he’s always said when i brought up him not listening to her as “he doesn’t care enough” and that it doesn’t affect him but i think it probably did, and it makes me feel so fucking bad that this happened and he didn’t get to go and it was because of me.
TLDR, i was clearly uncomfortable with my boyfriend seeing a very attractive female artist in concert (LDR relationship, i wouldn’t have been there with him), so he didn’t go, and he missed out on a probably once in a lifetime chance of hearing his favourite song by her live, she only played it at a few shows and his state was one of them. I feel horrible. how can i make this up to him and get over the guilt i feel?
(also, i promise i’m working on the insecurity stuff. i know how i feel is dumb and how not “letting” him listen to her is selfish. please don’t remind me)
(double also if you figured out the singer, congrats😭)
submitted by Unable-System-6456 to LongDistance [link] [comments]
—
my boyfriend and i (ldr but we have met twice now) are both pretty big fans of this one female singers music.
we had a sexual conversation a few months into our relationship (before we met for the first time) about celebrities we found attractive before we met each other (and i guess at that moment too?) and he sent a gif of her, and i ended up feeling very very sick and insecure about it. i tried to push this feeling away but i eventually told him how i felt and he apologised for telling me/how it made me feel.
we met a few weeks later and things were fine but i guess the feeling stayed and just before i went back home, i ended up asking him not to listen to her music because all i could think about is how he thought of her sexually and how it ruined my perspective of her as i always thought of her innocently and her music helped me get through really bad times in my life, so it felt awful and weird and wrong to me. he respected that and i believe he stuck to his word and didn’t listen to her.
we met again 8 ish months later, and she had put out a new album, and a new single for a movie. we ended up listening to the album and single together and he absolutely LOVED the single. like, really, he quoted it all the time and we watched the movie it was written for, and he loved that too so it all tied together, and we ended up talking more about her a lot, we bought merch from hot topic, even joked about buying her skin in fortnite (i know 😭) if she ever became one, and she sort of just became an inside joke, like “yeah whatever i know you think she’s hot idc!!!” where i was joke mad/annoyed about it and he found that funny and it was just some inside joke that developed, and i didn’t care about him wearing her merch or whatever, but over time for whatever reason, those feelings came back again and i felt really insecure about it.
but i didn’t really bring it up and we still listened to her and looked at her vinyls in stores and kept those jokes going, but eventually, he found out that she was going to be in his states capital city for her tour. he obviously wanted to go, and made jokes about going ALL the time. his main reason for wanting to go was so he could hear that single that he loved sm, but i was so sure that she wouldn’t sing it because it was just a single for a movie and why would she, and i told him that and he believed me (bc it made sense and i rly didn’t think she would)
this was in january/feburary of this year, and i left him mid feb. the concert was early march. before i left, i talked to him about how the insecurity and those sick feelings were coming back and he blocked her on spotify and respected how it made me feel.
and well, he didn’t end up going to the concert, partially because i think it was very obvious that i didn’t want him to go even when i joked with him that he could, and also, probably partially because of the cost of the tickets. i never really thought twice about if she played the song or not. and fast forwarding to now, may 2024, i decided that how i felt was ridiculous and after a few conversations with him and a lot of self help videos on youtube about jealousy, i told him i was okay with him listening to her again. and it was hard to start with but i’m more or less fine with it now.
ANYWAY. so the concert was in march, he didn’t go, and time has passed since then. but i was just looking at her setlist for all the shows and i looked at the show in his state that he wanted to go to, and it turns out she DID play the single!!! his state and a few others out of many many dates that she didn’t. she played the ONE song he really wanted to hear, in his state, and she will probably never play it again live, or if she does it definitely wouldn’t be a reoccurring thing and definitely not anywhere near where he lives.
i feel horrible. i feel so guilty. i know it’s just a song, but it’s a cumulative of a lot of feelings and i hate that i felt insecure and jealous and stopped him from doing something fun that he would’ve enjoyed and also heard a very beautiful song that he wouldn’t have been able to any other time, all because of how i felt. he’s always said when i brought up him not listening to her as “he doesn’t care enough” and that it doesn’t affect him but i think it probably did, and it makes me feel so fucking bad that this happened and he didn’t get to go and it was because of me.
TLDR, i was clearly uncomfortable with my boyfriend seeing a very attractive female artist in concert (LDR relationship, i wouldn’t have been there with him), so he didn’t go, and he missed out on a probably once in a lifetime chance of hearing his favourite song by her live, she only played it at a few shows and his state was one of them. I feel horrible. how can i make this up to him and get over the guilt i feel?
(also, i promise i’m working on the insecurity stuff. i know how i feel is dumb and how not “letting” him listen to her is selfish. please don’t remind me)
(double also if you figured out the singer, congrats😭)
2024.05.15 12:36 AnchorPointsOfficial Anchor Points: Age of Heroes Chapter 9 - Entropy
CHAPTER 9 – ENTROPY
DATE: MARCH 10th, 7 A.U. (AFTER UNIFICATION) LOCATION: SOL SYSTEM, ABOARD UTRN INDOMITABLE WILL
CAPTAIN HENRY O’TOOLE
"Ah, there you are Commander. Your message said there was something you wanted to talk with me about, right?" Henry asked as his executive officer approached the system map.
“Aye Captain, now's a good a time as any. As you know, the rate of disciplinary incidents has more than tripled in the last two weeks. We've had six fistfights, one near strangling, a few dozen counts of sexual harassment amongst different parties, and a few more incidents of a nature that I would rather not get into for fear of derailing the point of this conversation. I need additional resources to allocate towards ship internal security. With your permission, I'd like to borrow some of our more trusted marines to help the MA's out on their off shifts.” Commander Alvarez asked.
“Yeah, of course, take what you need to nip this in the bud. I can't say I'm entirely surprised; we expected a certain amount of this with the stresses of FTL travel. With everyone cooped up like this, maybe we should brainstorm some new outlets for the crew. Were there any specific incidents I need to get involved with?” Henry replied as he looked up from the list of updates and reports on his own console.
“No, I have it covered. It's just the regs state I need to ask permission to use marines for internal security matters.” The Commander waved it off.
“Excellent, continue to keep me in the loop then. Can I ask you a question?” Henry took the opportunity to ask something that had been bothering him.
“You just did. Hah! Just kidding, put the axe away boy! Now what would you like to know?” He said with a twinkle in his eye.
“I've seen your file, well, the parts that weren’t redacted anyway. If anything, I should be taking your orders! I mean, you're the Space Wolf! Nobody came even close to the number of ships captured or destroyed than you in the early days of the battle for the belt. Why would they want me to be captain when they had someone like you coming along the whole time? Why aren't you a captain anymore? By all right this should be your command, not mine.” Henry asked, after taking one last look around to verify they were still alone around the system map.
Commander Alvarez seemed stunned for a moment before he settled into a more pensive look.
“Listen, son, you're all full of the vigor and high passions of youth. By that I mean you've got a certain fire and aggression in you, yet I've seen you keep it balanced by wit and wisdom. You are a perfect match for the job, even if you could use some more real world experience. With some guidance, you'll do just fine, if you can keep strict standards for yourself and crew and a cool head when things get tough. I... got a lot of damn good men and women killed in an impossible situation when we lost the Michigan-II, and I never truly got over it. No amount of medals, captured enemy ships, or the fact that I've saved many more lives than I lost can make up for that. I finally found peace with that, but that peace required that I relieve myself of any chance of future command. My legacy, for better or worse, is set in stone. Joining this expedition gives me another chance at adjusting the scales without breaking my former vows, even if the only people who will ever know it are here on the voyage with us.”
“So, you claim you have no aims or desires for leadership, but here you are a mere heartbeat away from it.” Henry said, carefully studying his executive officer's every reaction.
“My time for glory is mostly gone, yours is at your feet before you. To the world, I am retired in comfort and isolation. In reality you have me here to help make your will law. You can relax. I already turned down command of this expedition. I was plan A, why do you think they had to scramble to find you? I will take command of this mission only if you are incapable of doing so yourself, Sir. In the meantime, let my experience and whatever wisdom I can offer guide you.”
An emergency alert snapped both of their attention out of their conversation. "There's a fire in one of the officer's cabins?!" Henry’s pulse quickened as he referenced the map to find which one.
“Fuck, it started in Chantal’s room!” Henry said, horrified.
“I've got the CIC under control. Go on and get her, I'll ensure help is on the way!”
“Thank you, Commander.” Henry called back over his shoulder as he rushed for the quick lift.
The officer cabins were the in the very next deck overhead, so he was able to arrive quickly and break into a sprint. The ship shifted as it dodged some antimatter, causing Henry to slip and scramble back to his feet. As he rounded the corner he saw her door was closed and the keypad powered was off. He could hear thumps and muffled screaming from within the room.
"HANG ON CHANTAL, I'M COMING!" Henry shouted in the hope that she could hear him as he pried at the manual override panel.
Two modified Paladin exo-combat armor suits rounded the corner seconds later with a hospitalman trailing behind pushing a medical cart.
"WE'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE, SIR." A speaker-amplified voice spoke from behind him.
One of the Paladin suits accessed the manual control override and forced the door open enough for the other suit to reach in and pry it the rest of the way open as smoke plumed into the corridor. The second suit charged into the room with its flood lights on as a water cannon mounted on the right wrist sprayed flame retardant from a pack on its back. The first suit abandoned the door control and entered, emerging moments later with Chantal awake and coughing from inside the darkened door frame. She was quickly ushered into cleaner air, set gently down, wrapped in a blanket, and was quickly attended to by a hospitalman who began to check her vitals.
Relief flooded Henry’s mind as his adrenaline surge broke against the wall of worry he had built up during his mad dash from the CIC.
“Baby you came for me! I honestly thought I was going to die for a moment in there." She pulled him into a tight embrace as she wept in cathartic release.
"Of course I did! I couldn't stand to lose you, especially not over something like this. So, what the hell happened in there?"
"Well you know me, I was all burning the midnight oil and then I smelled smoke! Then there were some sparks, the outlet pops then whoosh! My computer station and my desk are all ablaze along with half my notes, then the damned door wouldn't work! I had to drop to the floor under the smoke and pound on the door in hopes that someone would hear me. God, it was horrible... I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life." She replied with a deep shudder.
"You're safe now, it's going to be alright."
"I know, but what about my work?" She replied with a forlorn look back at her smoke damaged room.
"What about your work?"
"As you know, I lost a ton of it just now, but what’s worse is I don't even have the ability to recover them! Remember how I lost my backup drive last week? Like, I know I packed it and it is not here anywhere! It’s like some sick cosmic joke on me or something. Sorry! Gotta keep it positive, girl! I get to rethink my last few weeks’ worth of work from scratch... that was almost positive! I probably have most of this recoverable from email sent box backups. Fuck, what do you do if there's no good silver lining?” Chantal bemoaned.
Henry couldn’t help himself but laugh for a second, while his girlfriend stared at him, waiting for a response.
“I’m sorry, is this funny to you or something?”
“No, no of course not. This might be one of those times where the only silver lining is that you're alive. Plus, if anyone can remember and rebuild their notes, you can." Henry smiled down at her.
“Fine, fine, at least I am alive. I was only breathing smoke for a few seconds after all.” She said, rolling her eyes. “Thank you for rushing down here right away anyway, it means a lot. You're amazing, you know.”
Henry smiled, slightly uncomfortable for a moment, so he changed the subject.
“I do my best... Anyway, it seems like these electrical issues seem to be getting worse instead of better. Whatever patch these clowns have slapped on my ship to get her to pass inspection is clearly coming undone. What do you think is going on here?” Henry asked in mild exasperation.
“Honestly, I can’t tell you without digging into the systems myself, which I would rather avoid. My plate is full enough as it is right now, especially having to reproduce so much of my own work now. This ship has kilometers of power cables running throughout it, after all, and you have an entire loyal, capable team down there in electrical, so it should only be a matter of time before they sort it out for you. Let them do their jobs without harassing them too much, please?”
Henry felt a little irked at her for not giving him credit to know not to go overboard, but he stowed it, seeing as she was right.
“The crew has been under a lot of stress, too, having technical issues with the lights going out, or losing power to workstations. More than a few people have tried to convince me to turn us around and return to S33 for a more in-depth refit and repair cycle before we try the mission again. So far, everyone has accepted the fact that we are not turning back now without much argument, but I fear what may happen if these issues are seen as getting worse. Our orders are clear, though, we must continue the journey.” Henry said, uncomfortable with the implications, even if he didn't dare voice it.
“You should get on the Q-Comm to report the fire to S33. Maybe they will order us back to base after this.” She offered, looking for a solution to an impossible problem.
“Good idea, at least the Q-Comm is still working. It’s incredible to me those particles maintained their entanglement once we passed through the baryonic barrier. That alone has been a huge morale boost, being able to contact home base with no time lag.” Henry replied.
“It’s incredible to you because you only have a basic grasp of the science, hon. But that’s alright, very few people truly understand it. That’s in part what you have me here for anyway. Einstein called the effect spooky action from a distance; I always liked that line.”
Henry ran his fingers through his hair and looked at Chantal, with a shake of his head and a smile.
“Listen, Henry, I just had a crazy stressful experience and I need to unwind. Plus, I haven’t slept in almost a day, so I am bone tired. Let’s go to bed, huh? What do you say doc, am I clear to go?” Chantal asked.
The hospitalman closed her eyes and shook her head before responding. "Yes, you are cleared to rest, only to rest, do you understand me?"
Chantal mouthed a thank you before she took Henry by the hand and led him off to the captain’s quarters. Henry felt no desire to fight it, nor flaw with her reasoning. Sleep sounded good, really good. Plus, he was about an hour from the start of his sleep shift anyway, and Alvarez had the CIC well covered. The lights flickered again, but Henry very purposefully ignored it.
“Hey, since we have a little time and we are both a little wound up, Why don’t we take a shower together real quick?” She said with genuine enthusiasm and a wink.
“Madam, I like the way you think.” The couple raced just a bit faster than regulations would have liked, and arrived at his door in record speed. Inside the room they fell upon each other in great passion and need, stripping each other out of their BDU’s and underclothes. Henry tossed a giggling Chantal onto the bed, kissing her neck and nibbling on her ear causing her to purr in anticipation before he moved down her chest, past her navel, and then eagerly began to move his kisses in between her thighs.
“Hah…. I haven’t showered. Are you sure? Oooookay! I think…. Hah…. Okay.” She said breathlessly as Henry began to work his tongue until she began to shiver and squirm before she cried out and melted in his mouth.
“Enough, please, I can’t take it anymore! Just fuck me already!” Chantal pulled herself together enough to beg for it. Henry stood rigid and ready and set himself to granting her request, first slowly, and with a growing intensity. She once more began to squirm as he paid close attention to her hip’s cues, knowing very well by now what she liked.
As she climaxed again, Henry lifted her from the bed and pushed her up against the wall, and then bent her over his desk for a bit before he could take it no longer and they finished together.
“Holy shit… my legs aren’t gonna work for a bit after that one. Help me up?” Chantal said in between shallow breaths.
“Yes, ma’am. It would be my pleasure.” Henry said as he helped her to her feet and into the shower, staying in longer than was strictly necessary.
Henry left the steam first, once more thankful that his cabin included its own small bathroom, rather than a communal one. Being captain had its perks, after all. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, then handed another to Chantal who gratefully accepted it before it dropped to the ground as she stared straight past him.
“Henry!" She squeaked as she pointed past him.
"What?" Henry asked, confused.
"Henry, someone was in here!”
On their bathroom mirror, wiped from the steam were the words TURN BACK.
Henry's blood ran cold and his adrenaline spiked him into overdrive. He waved Chantal back into the shower and put his finger to his lips. She nodded then wrapped herself in her retrieved towel and dropped to the shower floor with her arms wrapped around her knees, whimpering slightly. Henry moved silently along the wall, watching the visible half of his room for any movement. He then burst round the door frame, only to find everything perfectly, precisely as they had left it. The shock of finding nothing collided with the spike of his adrenaline surge, which only fed his growing unease.
“There’s nobody here!” Henry called out after checking the closet, the only other place someone could have hidden.
“Did you lock the door?” Chantal asked, her mind already working on the mystery.
“I set the security protocol to auto lock every time it closes.”
“Paul. We need to talk to Paul.” Chantal said, squeezing her BDU’s up over her hips with a few hops. Henry pulled on his undershirt before tossing over hers.
“Why would we want to bring that weasel into this?” Henry asked, incredulous at to how he could possibly help.
“Because he has access to the surveillance tapes, why else?”
Henry stared at Chantal, brimming with rage, trying his hardest to keep it isolated to Paul over the invasion of his privacy.
“Did you just say surveillance tapes!?!” Henry asked in an icy tone. “That does it, I’m going to strangle him.” Henry said, moving with a purpose toward the door.
“Stop. Turn around and give me a kiss. I already disabled the video cameras, at least all the ones I could find. He has audio at best, even that I doubt. What he does have that I want is the data from the motion sensor that he had installed just in case you found the more obvious bugs. Unfortunately, I sabotaged its effectiveness by blocking the sensor with dense foam, but there might be enough of something to give us a clue."
“How in the hell do you know about all of this anyway, and why the hell didn’t you tell me?!” Henry roared.
“This entire enterprise is run by an intelligence agency; how can you not have seen that one coming a mile away? I have gotten very good at catching bugs over the years. Just because I expect the invasion of privacy to be happening, doesn’t mean I have to make it easy on them.” She replied firmly while staring him in the eyes with raised eyebrows.
“You’re incredible, I love you.” Henry blurted out before he could catch himself. Chantal beamed and tackled him to the bed sitting on his lap.
“What took you so long? Never mind, don’t answer that. I love you too, I have wanted to say that one for a while now.”
“You know these things aren’t easy for me. I had to be sure, I also didn’t want to mess anything up. We need to be able to work together even if we had turned out to be a bad couple.” Henry admitted, Chantal made an show as she thought it over, but she then smiled and helped Henry to his feet.
“Alright, my captain. You speak great wisdom. While I have certainly felt, and thoroughly enjoyed, the depths of your passion, it is really nice to hear about it too. I do think it makes it all the better that you rule said passion with reason. It’s one of the many things I love about you.” She said, laying her hand over his heart.
Henry took her other hand and kissed it before replying. “I think above all, I wanted to make sure that I didn’t take you for granted, nor suffer the same in reverse. A wise woman once gave me some great advice there that I have taken to heart.”
“Okay, Romeo, maybe you have a better handle on these things than you think. Now… Let’s go interrogate Paul.” Chantal had a fire in her eyes that Henry was loving very much at that moment.
“I have wanted to turn the screws on that spook for a while now.” Henry smiled as he spoke, and he opened up the connection to the ship’s intranet through his neural implant to send a message.
MEET ME IN YOUR QUARTERS IN 5 MINUTES FOR A DISCUSSION OF CRITICAL IMPORTANCE – CPT. O'TOOLE
“That ought to get him there and alone.” Henry smirked. “Let’s go.”
Together, they made their way to Paul’s equivalent-sized quarters, which he had somehow secured for himself in the ship design to help facilitate his role as the official thorn in Henry’s paw. I guess being the captain’s handler has its perks as well. Henry’s eye twitched at the corner.
After making them wait far too long, Paul opened the door and gesturing them inside. The door closed and Paul turned towards them, narrowing his eyes, studying them both.
“Is this about the fire?” Paul asked before Henry punched the weasel right in the diaphragm, forcing him to gasp for air. The look of shock on his face as he bent forwards was priceless.
“What the fuck, Henry!?” Paul managed to choke out after a minute between gasps.
“Relax, I didn’t do any permanent damage, yet.” Henry said, Paul for just a second showed actual fear in his eyes before he sneered in defiance. “Oh? That got your attention, did it? Why were you spying on me?” Henry growled.
Paul closed his eyes, dropped his head, and began to laugh before Henry grabbed him by the throat and slammed him into the wall. Foolishly, Paul even then kept laughing amidst the gasping. So Henry squeezed until Paul started slapping his arm, looking genuine fear once more growing across his face.
“Orders… I was following orders!” Paul managed to say amidst gasps and coughs.
“I thought it might be something like that. You're going to open up those files, now, and you're going to show me everything.” Henry said, dropping him to his feet at last.
“Fucking hell, Henry, I thought you of all people would have anticipated this was going to be the case. Do you think the people who made this all possible would simply let you fly around the most dangerous, advanced warship in human history without some insurance?”
“Don’t try and weasel out of your own personal culpability here. You may also want to think back to other people who were “only following orders” while performing acts they knew were wrong before you wave that line around like some get out of jail free card.” The fact that he had nothing to say spoke volumes.
“You should have told me Paul.” Henry growled.
“That defeats the purpose! Plus, your girlfriend sabotaged them all before we ever left S33 anyway, and once more after! That type of tech doesn’t just grow on trees you know, and I don’t have an unlimited supply. You should be thanking me for covering for her and reporting back like things are normal!” Paul shouted in indignation.
“This is pointless, show me the files from around fifteen minutes ago, motion trackers, thermals, anything you have that's not blocked or sabotaged.” Henry commanded. Paul’s eyes narrowed, but after a long moment he huffed and closed his eyes. Paul then sat down at his station and fired it up.
“Like I said, I've got practically nothing. No video, muffled audio and readings from what I assume to be a faulty motion sensor, that’s it. What are we looking for?”
“Chantal and I were, well, together. After we got out of the shower we saw that someone had written turn back in the condensation on the bathroom mirror. Only problem? My door auto locks when closed and only opens for my biometrics. That is why all of this even came up in the first place.”
“Motherfucker. That's a whole heap of bad news.” Paul said. Henry merely nodded, paying rather more attention to the screen to see if he could catch Paul in a lie about the extent of the spying.
“There’s nothing. No disturbances in the air that would even remotely resemble human movement between you two getting in the shower and you charging into your bedroom. With the noise of the shower and the distance to the microphone, there is nothing I can discern that is anomalous. You can see it all right here for yourself.”
Henry found himself even more confused and alarmed than before.
“How is that possible? Look again, run through some filters or something. There must be some evidence somewhere!”
“Alright, relax, I will get to work on this and get you a report by the end of C shift. In the meantime, you look like a mess. Get some sleep man! I can take care of it from here. Oh, and I want you to remember that I forgave you quite magnanimously for that little episode back there where you attacked me.” Henry and Chantal gave each other a look as Paul spoke.
“Wasn’t gonna apologize anyway, you had it coming. I’m going to hit the rack. I expect that report to be detailed and ready when I get up.” Henry took Chantal by the hand, and they left together, not waiting for a response.
“What a snake. Did you see him in there? Zero guilt or recognition whatsoever about spying like that. It just makes my skin crawl. Gives me bad memories.” Chantal said, turning pensive and quiet.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Henry asked, seeing that there was something clearly bothering her.
“I… had an uncle that lived with us from time to time and he would spy on me when I was dressing, try and sneak looks in the shower, stuff like that. Never touched me or anyone else that I know of, thank god, but man did it screw me up a bit still. Played havoc with my sense of security and even my sanity, never being quite sure it was real. I wish I had said something, but I was afraid everyone would think I was overreacting or imagining it. I saw it in his eyes though, that look of... predatory lust. At least I didn't see anything like that in Paul's eyes. To this day it makes my skin crawl.”
“Good God, I can see how alone you must have felt in the middle of all that.” He squeezed her hand, she smiled up at him.
“Yeah, that was one of the hardest parts. I don’t think Paul is some raging pervert or anything, but it concerns me how normal it was to him. Even if he isn’t being a creep with it, as if we can take his claims to be covering for me at face value. There is still no way I am going to let him have easy access to intimate videos of us, if I can possibly help it.” Chantal said before adding, “I’ll be all right, don’t worry about me. Let’s just get some sleep.”
Henry put his palm against the biometric scanner outside his room and the door slid open for them. They definitely needed some sleep after the emotional roller coaster of the past few hours, and the irresistible warm embrace of his bed called for him. The Q-Comm report could wait until he woke, he decided. Better to have the electrical inspection done too.
I WANT A FULL REPORT AND INSPECTION PERFORMED ON THE ELECTRICAL FIRE IN CHANTAL’S ROOM BY THE START OF A SHIFT. – CAPT. O'TOOLE
Good enough. Henry thought as he sent the message. Now he could sleep. The chief would handle it.
SEVERAL HOURS LATER…
DATE : MARCH 10th, 7 A.U. LOCATION: SOL SYSTEM, ABOARD UTRN INDOMITABLE WILL
FIREMAN APPRENTICE SARAH CALLAHAN
It'll be back again tonight...
Sarah’s haunted thoughts repeated like a mantra. She had to be ready, but how? Her skin crawled and itched, the long sleeves of her BDU’s prevented her from being able to do anything about the painful sensation from the inflamed scratches they hid. She blearily rubbed at her sunken eyes, and she drained the rest of her coffee. All the numbers on the screen had started bleeding in together and her eyes hurt horribly, with the throbbing pain in her abdomen only compounding her misery.
“My god, Sarah, you look a wreck, hon. How have you been sleeping?” Yvonne, her shift partner asked, with concern in her voice.
“I have a monster tension headache, if the meds are going to kick in, I hope it’s soon. Can you check my math? I need to get out of these white lights for a few minutes. Close my eyes for a bit, something, anything. I've been having nightmares again.” Sarah felt good, being able to admit it, and Yvonne had long since proven her friendship, so it was easier to actually speak.
“Yeah, no prob. As soon as I am done here I will check your readings and we can get out of here. Do you mean nightmares from the invasion?” Yvonne asked, carefully picking her words and tone.
“Kind of the same general themes, but different. Everything is going wrong, like the worst possible outcomes of my worst nightmares are all combining together. Like, it feels malicious, I don't know, its hard to explain...” Sarah said, bleakly.
“That’s hard, I am sorry. You need a shower, and an uninterrupted nap. Sleep deprivation plays all kinds of hell on the body and mind. I had a friend who went through an insomniac phase so extreme he would go days without sleeping. Wound up in the hospital after trying to drive to work while hallucinating his dead fiancée was sitting in the passenger seat screaming at him to watch out. Wound up rear-ending the car in front of him. Thank God he lived to tell the tale, but that is why it worries me to see you like this.” Yvonne planted her hand on Sarah’s shoulder as she told the story.
“Yikes, I think I slept like two hours into my sleep shift before I started having the nightmares again, woke up, and passed in and out of some restless sleep. It got really bad around oh three hundred. There were sounds... noises like scratching and a loud bang, and the shadows were moving. I just kept feeling like I was being watched, but everyone else seemed to be having disturbed sleep in their bunks. God, it was a creepy feeling.” Sarah took a moment to compose herself.
“I know how crazy this will sound, maybe that I am sleep deprived and likely hallucinating like your friend, but just hear me out. There was something there Yvonne, in the dark at the edge of perception, I could feel it. I also know I wasn’t the only one tossing and turning either. I could also hear scratchy whispering, too. I just hid, strapped in under the weighted blanket. At some point I slept some more, I must have, but not for what felt like a few stressful and draining hours. I'm just making a total mess of explaining this, aren’t I?”
“No, you're fine, girl! I am sorry that happened, my dorm has been pretty quiet, but I have always slept like a rock. Is there anything I can do?”
“I could use a hug.” Sarah said, which caused Yvonne to laugh, breaking some of the tension. They embraced warmly for a good minute, which did wonders for relieving some of the headache and her black mood.
“Thanks, Yvonne, I know it’s all in my head and it’s a vicious feedback cycle due to lack of quality sleep. Thanks for listening without calling me crazy.“ Sarah said, shying away from the last thing she hadn’t the courage to say.
She didn’t dare mention how she had hidden under the covers as she felt it get near. How she had felt something pushing on the mattress. How as her fear peaked, she herself peeked over the covers to find nothing there just to have the oppressive feeling evaporate along with the sensation of pressure by her feet. Her dorm mates all seemed to stop stirring after that, and only then did the nightmares stop for her that night. By then she was left with barely enough time for one last short sleep cycle before the start of A shift that very morning. This was a secret she would have to keep to herself, nobody would believe her anyway.
“I think I'll ask the Chief for a break from my duties today to rest and to visit med bay. Maybe they can give me something to help catch back up on my sleep.” Sarah said.
“Good idea, can I come with? I’ll back you up.” Yvonne said. Sarah smiled at her friend before she nodded at her before they checked off the last of their duties on site and headed away to find the Chief.
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DATE: MARCH 10th, 7 A.U. (AFTER UNIFICATION) LOCATION: SOL SYSTEM, ABOARD UTRN INDOMITABLE WILL
CAPTAIN HENRY O’TOOLE
"Ah, there you are Commander. Your message said there was something you wanted to talk with me about, right?" Henry asked as his executive officer approached the system map.
“Aye Captain, now's a good a time as any. As you know, the rate of disciplinary incidents has more than tripled in the last two weeks. We've had six fistfights, one near strangling, a few dozen counts of sexual harassment amongst different parties, and a few more incidents of a nature that I would rather not get into for fear of derailing the point of this conversation. I need additional resources to allocate towards ship internal security. With your permission, I'd like to borrow some of our more trusted marines to help the MA's out on their off shifts.” Commander Alvarez asked.
“Yeah, of course, take what you need to nip this in the bud. I can't say I'm entirely surprised; we expected a certain amount of this with the stresses of FTL travel. With everyone cooped up like this, maybe we should brainstorm some new outlets for the crew. Were there any specific incidents I need to get involved with?” Henry replied as he looked up from the list of updates and reports on his own console.
“No, I have it covered. It's just the regs state I need to ask permission to use marines for internal security matters.” The Commander waved it off.
“Excellent, continue to keep me in the loop then. Can I ask you a question?” Henry took the opportunity to ask something that had been bothering him.
“You just did. Hah! Just kidding, put the axe away boy! Now what would you like to know?” He said with a twinkle in his eye.
“I've seen your file, well, the parts that weren’t redacted anyway. If anything, I should be taking your orders! I mean, you're the Space Wolf! Nobody came even close to the number of ships captured or destroyed than you in the early days of the battle for the belt. Why would they want me to be captain when they had someone like you coming along the whole time? Why aren't you a captain anymore? By all right this should be your command, not mine.” Henry asked, after taking one last look around to verify they were still alone around the system map.
Commander Alvarez seemed stunned for a moment before he settled into a more pensive look.
“Listen, son, you're all full of the vigor and high passions of youth. By that I mean you've got a certain fire and aggression in you, yet I've seen you keep it balanced by wit and wisdom. You are a perfect match for the job, even if you could use some more real world experience. With some guidance, you'll do just fine, if you can keep strict standards for yourself and crew and a cool head when things get tough. I... got a lot of damn good men and women killed in an impossible situation when we lost the Michigan-II, and I never truly got over it. No amount of medals, captured enemy ships, or the fact that I've saved many more lives than I lost can make up for that. I finally found peace with that, but that peace required that I relieve myself of any chance of future command. My legacy, for better or worse, is set in stone. Joining this expedition gives me another chance at adjusting the scales without breaking my former vows, even if the only people who will ever know it are here on the voyage with us.”
“So, you claim you have no aims or desires for leadership, but here you are a mere heartbeat away from it.” Henry said, carefully studying his executive officer's every reaction.
“My time for glory is mostly gone, yours is at your feet before you. To the world, I am retired in comfort and isolation. In reality you have me here to help make your will law. You can relax. I already turned down command of this expedition. I was plan A, why do you think they had to scramble to find you? I will take command of this mission only if you are incapable of doing so yourself, Sir. In the meantime, let my experience and whatever wisdom I can offer guide you.”
An emergency alert snapped both of their attention out of their conversation. "There's a fire in one of the officer's cabins?!" Henry’s pulse quickened as he referenced the map to find which one.
“Fuck, it started in Chantal’s room!” Henry said, horrified.
“I've got the CIC under control. Go on and get her, I'll ensure help is on the way!”
“Thank you, Commander.” Henry called back over his shoulder as he rushed for the quick lift.
The officer cabins were the in the very next deck overhead, so he was able to arrive quickly and break into a sprint. The ship shifted as it dodged some antimatter, causing Henry to slip and scramble back to his feet. As he rounded the corner he saw her door was closed and the keypad powered was off. He could hear thumps and muffled screaming from within the room.
"HANG ON CHANTAL, I'M COMING!" Henry shouted in the hope that she could hear him as he pried at the manual override panel.
Two modified Paladin exo-combat armor suits rounded the corner seconds later with a hospitalman trailing behind pushing a medical cart.
"WE'LL TAKE IT FROM HERE, SIR." A speaker-amplified voice spoke from behind him.
One of the Paladin suits accessed the manual control override and forced the door open enough for the other suit to reach in and pry it the rest of the way open as smoke plumed into the corridor. The second suit charged into the room with its flood lights on as a water cannon mounted on the right wrist sprayed flame retardant from a pack on its back. The first suit abandoned the door control and entered, emerging moments later with Chantal awake and coughing from inside the darkened door frame. She was quickly ushered into cleaner air, set gently down, wrapped in a blanket, and was quickly attended to by a hospitalman who began to check her vitals.
Relief flooded Henry’s mind as his adrenaline surge broke against the wall of worry he had built up during his mad dash from the CIC.
“Baby you came for me! I honestly thought I was going to die for a moment in there." She pulled him into a tight embrace as she wept in cathartic release.
"Of course I did! I couldn't stand to lose you, especially not over something like this. So, what the hell happened in there?"
"Well you know me, I was all burning the midnight oil and then I smelled smoke! Then there were some sparks, the outlet pops then whoosh! My computer station and my desk are all ablaze along with half my notes, then the damned door wouldn't work! I had to drop to the floor under the smoke and pound on the door in hopes that someone would hear me. God, it was horrible... I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life." She replied with a deep shudder.
"You're safe now, it's going to be alright."
"I know, but what about my work?" She replied with a forlorn look back at her smoke damaged room.
"What about your work?"
"As you know, I lost a ton of it just now, but what’s worse is I don't even have the ability to recover them! Remember how I lost my backup drive last week? Like, I know I packed it and it is not here anywhere! It’s like some sick cosmic joke on me or something. Sorry! Gotta keep it positive, girl! I get to rethink my last few weeks’ worth of work from scratch... that was almost positive! I probably have most of this recoverable from email sent box backups. Fuck, what do you do if there's no good silver lining?” Chantal bemoaned.
Henry couldn’t help himself but laugh for a second, while his girlfriend stared at him, waiting for a response.
“I’m sorry, is this funny to you or something?”
“No, no of course not. This might be one of those times where the only silver lining is that you're alive. Plus, if anyone can remember and rebuild their notes, you can." Henry smiled down at her.
“Fine, fine, at least I am alive. I was only breathing smoke for a few seconds after all.” She said, rolling her eyes. “Thank you for rushing down here right away anyway, it means a lot. You're amazing, you know.”
Henry smiled, slightly uncomfortable for a moment, so he changed the subject.
“I do my best... Anyway, it seems like these electrical issues seem to be getting worse instead of better. Whatever patch these clowns have slapped on my ship to get her to pass inspection is clearly coming undone. What do you think is going on here?” Henry asked in mild exasperation.
“Honestly, I can’t tell you without digging into the systems myself, which I would rather avoid. My plate is full enough as it is right now, especially having to reproduce so much of my own work now. This ship has kilometers of power cables running throughout it, after all, and you have an entire loyal, capable team down there in electrical, so it should only be a matter of time before they sort it out for you. Let them do their jobs without harassing them too much, please?”
Henry felt a little irked at her for not giving him credit to know not to go overboard, but he stowed it, seeing as she was right.
“The crew has been under a lot of stress, too, having technical issues with the lights going out, or losing power to workstations. More than a few people have tried to convince me to turn us around and return to S33 for a more in-depth refit and repair cycle before we try the mission again. So far, everyone has accepted the fact that we are not turning back now without much argument, but I fear what may happen if these issues are seen as getting worse. Our orders are clear, though, we must continue the journey.” Henry said, uncomfortable with the implications, even if he didn't dare voice it.
“You should get on the Q-Comm to report the fire to S33. Maybe they will order us back to base after this.” She offered, looking for a solution to an impossible problem.
“Good idea, at least the Q-Comm is still working. It’s incredible to me those particles maintained their entanglement once we passed through the baryonic barrier. That alone has been a huge morale boost, being able to contact home base with no time lag.” Henry replied.
“It’s incredible to you because you only have a basic grasp of the science, hon. But that’s alright, very few people truly understand it. That’s in part what you have me here for anyway. Einstein called the effect spooky action from a distance; I always liked that line.”
Henry ran his fingers through his hair and looked at Chantal, with a shake of his head and a smile.
“Listen, Henry, I just had a crazy stressful experience and I need to unwind. Plus, I haven’t slept in almost a day, so I am bone tired. Let’s go to bed, huh? What do you say doc, am I clear to go?” Chantal asked.
The hospitalman closed her eyes and shook her head before responding. "Yes, you are cleared to rest, only to rest, do you understand me?"
Chantal mouthed a thank you before she took Henry by the hand and led him off to the captain’s quarters. Henry felt no desire to fight it, nor flaw with her reasoning. Sleep sounded good, really good. Plus, he was about an hour from the start of his sleep shift anyway, and Alvarez had the CIC well covered. The lights flickered again, but Henry very purposefully ignored it.
“Hey, since we have a little time and we are both a little wound up, Why don’t we take a shower together real quick?” She said with genuine enthusiasm and a wink.
“Madam, I like the way you think.” The couple raced just a bit faster than regulations would have liked, and arrived at his door in record speed. Inside the room they fell upon each other in great passion and need, stripping each other out of their BDU’s and underclothes. Henry tossed a giggling Chantal onto the bed, kissing her neck and nibbling on her ear causing her to purr in anticipation before he moved down her chest, past her navel, and then eagerly began to move his kisses in between her thighs.
“Hah…. I haven’t showered. Are you sure? Oooookay! I think…. Hah…. Okay.” She said breathlessly as Henry began to work his tongue until she began to shiver and squirm before she cried out and melted in his mouth.
“Enough, please, I can’t take it anymore! Just fuck me already!” Chantal pulled herself together enough to beg for it. Henry stood rigid and ready and set himself to granting her request, first slowly, and with a growing intensity. She once more began to squirm as he paid close attention to her hip’s cues, knowing very well by now what she liked.
As she climaxed again, Henry lifted her from the bed and pushed her up against the wall, and then bent her over his desk for a bit before he could take it no longer and they finished together.
“Holy shit… my legs aren’t gonna work for a bit after that one. Help me up?” Chantal said in between shallow breaths.
“Yes, ma’am. It would be my pleasure.” Henry said as he helped her to her feet and into the shower, staying in longer than was strictly necessary.
Henry left the steam first, once more thankful that his cabin included its own small bathroom, rather than a communal one. Being captain had its perks, after all. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, then handed another to Chantal who gratefully accepted it before it dropped to the ground as she stared straight past him.
“Henry!" She squeaked as she pointed past him.
"What?" Henry asked, confused.
"Henry, someone was in here!”
On their bathroom mirror, wiped from the steam were the words TURN BACK.
Henry's blood ran cold and his adrenaline spiked him into overdrive. He waved Chantal back into the shower and put his finger to his lips. She nodded then wrapped herself in her retrieved towel and dropped to the shower floor with her arms wrapped around her knees, whimpering slightly. Henry moved silently along the wall, watching the visible half of his room for any movement. He then burst round the door frame, only to find everything perfectly, precisely as they had left it. The shock of finding nothing collided with the spike of his adrenaline surge, which only fed his growing unease.
“There’s nobody here!” Henry called out after checking the closet, the only other place someone could have hidden.
“Did you lock the door?” Chantal asked, her mind already working on the mystery.
“I set the security protocol to auto lock every time it closes.”
“Paul. We need to talk to Paul.” Chantal said, squeezing her BDU’s up over her hips with a few hops. Henry pulled on his undershirt before tossing over hers.
“Why would we want to bring that weasel into this?” Henry asked, incredulous at to how he could possibly help.
“Because he has access to the surveillance tapes, why else?”
Henry stared at Chantal, brimming with rage, trying his hardest to keep it isolated to Paul over the invasion of his privacy.
“Did you just say surveillance tapes!?!” Henry asked in an icy tone. “That does it, I’m going to strangle him.” Henry said, moving with a purpose toward the door.
“Stop. Turn around and give me a kiss. I already disabled the video cameras, at least all the ones I could find. He has audio at best, even that I doubt. What he does have that I want is the data from the motion sensor that he had installed just in case you found the more obvious bugs. Unfortunately, I sabotaged its effectiveness by blocking the sensor with dense foam, but there might be enough of something to give us a clue."
“How in the hell do you know about all of this anyway, and why the hell didn’t you tell me?!” Henry roared.
“This entire enterprise is run by an intelligence agency; how can you not have seen that one coming a mile away? I have gotten very good at catching bugs over the years. Just because I expect the invasion of privacy to be happening, doesn’t mean I have to make it easy on them.” She replied firmly while staring him in the eyes with raised eyebrows.
“You’re incredible, I love you.” Henry blurted out before he could catch himself. Chantal beamed and tackled him to the bed sitting on his lap.
“What took you so long? Never mind, don’t answer that. I love you too, I have wanted to say that one for a while now.”
“You know these things aren’t easy for me. I had to be sure, I also didn’t want to mess anything up. We need to be able to work together even if we had turned out to be a bad couple.” Henry admitted, Chantal made an show as she thought it over, but she then smiled and helped Henry to his feet.
“Alright, my captain. You speak great wisdom. While I have certainly felt, and thoroughly enjoyed, the depths of your passion, it is really nice to hear about it too. I do think it makes it all the better that you rule said passion with reason. It’s one of the many things I love about you.” She said, laying her hand over his heart.
Henry took her other hand and kissed it before replying. “I think above all, I wanted to make sure that I didn’t take you for granted, nor suffer the same in reverse. A wise woman once gave me some great advice there that I have taken to heart.”
“Okay, Romeo, maybe you have a better handle on these things than you think. Now… Let’s go interrogate Paul.” Chantal had a fire in her eyes that Henry was loving very much at that moment.
“I have wanted to turn the screws on that spook for a while now.” Henry smiled as he spoke, and he opened up the connection to the ship’s intranet through his neural implant to send a message.
MEET ME IN YOUR QUARTERS IN 5 MINUTES FOR A DISCUSSION OF CRITICAL IMPORTANCE – CPT. O'TOOLE
“That ought to get him there and alone.” Henry smirked. “Let’s go.”
Together, they made their way to Paul’s equivalent-sized quarters, which he had somehow secured for himself in the ship design to help facilitate his role as the official thorn in Henry’s paw. I guess being the captain’s handler has its perks as well. Henry’s eye twitched at the corner.
After making them wait far too long, Paul opened the door and gesturing them inside. The door closed and Paul turned towards them, narrowing his eyes, studying them both.
“Is this about the fire?” Paul asked before Henry punched the weasel right in the diaphragm, forcing him to gasp for air. The look of shock on his face as he bent forwards was priceless.
“What the fuck, Henry!?” Paul managed to choke out after a minute between gasps.
“Relax, I didn’t do any permanent damage, yet.” Henry said, Paul for just a second showed actual fear in his eyes before he sneered in defiance. “Oh? That got your attention, did it? Why were you spying on me?” Henry growled.
Paul closed his eyes, dropped his head, and began to laugh before Henry grabbed him by the throat and slammed him into the wall. Foolishly, Paul even then kept laughing amidst the gasping. So Henry squeezed until Paul started slapping his arm, looking genuine fear once more growing across his face.
“Orders… I was following orders!” Paul managed to say amidst gasps and coughs.
“I thought it might be something like that. You're going to open up those files, now, and you're going to show me everything.” Henry said, dropping him to his feet at last.
“Fucking hell, Henry, I thought you of all people would have anticipated this was going to be the case. Do you think the people who made this all possible would simply let you fly around the most dangerous, advanced warship in human history without some insurance?”
“Don’t try and weasel out of your own personal culpability here. You may also want to think back to other people who were “only following orders” while performing acts they knew were wrong before you wave that line around like some get out of jail free card.” The fact that he had nothing to say spoke volumes.
“You should have told me Paul.” Henry growled.
“That defeats the purpose! Plus, your girlfriend sabotaged them all before we ever left S33 anyway, and once more after! That type of tech doesn’t just grow on trees you know, and I don’t have an unlimited supply. You should be thanking me for covering for her and reporting back like things are normal!” Paul shouted in indignation.
“This is pointless, show me the files from around fifteen minutes ago, motion trackers, thermals, anything you have that's not blocked or sabotaged.” Henry commanded. Paul’s eyes narrowed, but after a long moment he huffed and closed his eyes. Paul then sat down at his station and fired it up.
“Like I said, I've got practically nothing. No video, muffled audio and readings from what I assume to be a faulty motion sensor, that’s it. What are we looking for?”
“Chantal and I were, well, together. After we got out of the shower we saw that someone had written turn back in the condensation on the bathroom mirror. Only problem? My door auto locks when closed and only opens for my biometrics. That is why all of this even came up in the first place.”
“Motherfucker. That's a whole heap of bad news.” Paul said. Henry merely nodded, paying rather more attention to the screen to see if he could catch Paul in a lie about the extent of the spying.
“There’s nothing. No disturbances in the air that would even remotely resemble human movement between you two getting in the shower and you charging into your bedroom. With the noise of the shower and the distance to the microphone, there is nothing I can discern that is anomalous. You can see it all right here for yourself.”
Henry found himself even more confused and alarmed than before.
“How is that possible? Look again, run through some filters or something. There must be some evidence somewhere!”
“Alright, relax, I will get to work on this and get you a report by the end of C shift. In the meantime, you look like a mess. Get some sleep man! I can take care of it from here. Oh, and I want you to remember that I forgave you quite magnanimously for that little episode back there where you attacked me.” Henry and Chantal gave each other a look as Paul spoke.
“Wasn’t gonna apologize anyway, you had it coming. I’m going to hit the rack. I expect that report to be detailed and ready when I get up.” Henry took Chantal by the hand, and they left together, not waiting for a response.
“What a snake. Did you see him in there? Zero guilt or recognition whatsoever about spying like that. It just makes my skin crawl. Gives me bad memories.” Chantal said, turning pensive and quiet.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Henry asked, seeing that there was something clearly bothering her.
“I… had an uncle that lived with us from time to time and he would spy on me when I was dressing, try and sneak looks in the shower, stuff like that. Never touched me or anyone else that I know of, thank god, but man did it screw me up a bit still. Played havoc with my sense of security and even my sanity, never being quite sure it was real. I wish I had said something, but I was afraid everyone would think I was overreacting or imagining it. I saw it in his eyes though, that look of... predatory lust. At least I didn't see anything like that in Paul's eyes. To this day it makes my skin crawl.”
“Good God, I can see how alone you must have felt in the middle of all that.” He squeezed her hand, she smiled up at him.
“Yeah, that was one of the hardest parts. I don’t think Paul is some raging pervert or anything, but it concerns me how normal it was to him. Even if he isn’t being a creep with it, as if we can take his claims to be covering for me at face value. There is still no way I am going to let him have easy access to intimate videos of us, if I can possibly help it.” Chantal said before adding, “I’ll be all right, don’t worry about me. Let’s just get some sleep.”
Henry put his palm against the biometric scanner outside his room and the door slid open for them. They definitely needed some sleep after the emotional roller coaster of the past few hours, and the irresistible warm embrace of his bed called for him. The Q-Comm report could wait until he woke, he decided. Better to have the electrical inspection done too.
I WANT A FULL REPORT AND INSPECTION PERFORMED ON THE ELECTRICAL FIRE IN CHANTAL’S ROOM BY THE START OF A SHIFT. – CAPT. O'TOOLE
Good enough. Henry thought as he sent the message. Now he could sleep. The chief would handle it.
SEVERAL HOURS LATER…
DATE : MARCH 10th, 7 A.U. LOCATION: SOL SYSTEM, ABOARD UTRN INDOMITABLE WILL
FIREMAN APPRENTICE SARAH CALLAHAN
It'll be back again tonight...
Sarah’s haunted thoughts repeated like a mantra. She had to be ready, but how? Her skin crawled and itched, the long sleeves of her BDU’s prevented her from being able to do anything about the painful sensation from the inflamed scratches they hid. She blearily rubbed at her sunken eyes, and she drained the rest of her coffee. All the numbers on the screen had started bleeding in together and her eyes hurt horribly, with the throbbing pain in her abdomen only compounding her misery.
“My god, Sarah, you look a wreck, hon. How have you been sleeping?” Yvonne, her shift partner asked, with concern in her voice.
“I have a monster tension headache, if the meds are going to kick in, I hope it’s soon. Can you check my math? I need to get out of these white lights for a few minutes. Close my eyes for a bit, something, anything. I've been having nightmares again.” Sarah felt good, being able to admit it, and Yvonne had long since proven her friendship, so it was easier to actually speak.
“Yeah, no prob. As soon as I am done here I will check your readings and we can get out of here. Do you mean nightmares from the invasion?” Yvonne asked, carefully picking her words and tone.
“Kind of the same general themes, but different. Everything is going wrong, like the worst possible outcomes of my worst nightmares are all combining together. Like, it feels malicious, I don't know, its hard to explain...” Sarah said, bleakly.
“That’s hard, I am sorry. You need a shower, and an uninterrupted nap. Sleep deprivation plays all kinds of hell on the body and mind. I had a friend who went through an insomniac phase so extreme he would go days without sleeping. Wound up in the hospital after trying to drive to work while hallucinating his dead fiancée was sitting in the passenger seat screaming at him to watch out. Wound up rear-ending the car in front of him. Thank God he lived to tell the tale, but that is why it worries me to see you like this.” Yvonne planted her hand on Sarah’s shoulder as she told the story.
“Yikes, I think I slept like two hours into my sleep shift before I started having the nightmares again, woke up, and passed in and out of some restless sleep. It got really bad around oh three hundred. There were sounds... noises like scratching and a loud bang, and the shadows were moving. I just kept feeling like I was being watched, but everyone else seemed to be having disturbed sleep in their bunks. God, it was a creepy feeling.” Sarah took a moment to compose herself.
“I know how crazy this will sound, maybe that I am sleep deprived and likely hallucinating like your friend, but just hear me out. There was something there Yvonne, in the dark at the edge of perception, I could feel it. I also know I wasn’t the only one tossing and turning either. I could also hear scratchy whispering, too. I just hid, strapped in under the weighted blanket. At some point I slept some more, I must have, but not for what felt like a few stressful and draining hours. I'm just making a total mess of explaining this, aren’t I?”
“No, you're fine, girl! I am sorry that happened, my dorm has been pretty quiet, but I have always slept like a rock. Is there anything I can do?”
“I could use a hug.” Sarah said, which caused Yvonne to laugh, breaking some of the tension. They embraced warmly for a good minute, which did wonders for relieving some of the headache and her black mood.
“Thanks, Yvonne, I know it’s all in my head and it’s a vicious feedback cycle due to lack of quality sleep. Thanks for listening without calling me crazy.“ Sarah said, shying away from the last thing she hadn’t the courage to say.
She didn’t dare mention how she had hidden under the covers as she felt it get near. How she had felt something pushing on the mattress. How as her fear peaked, she herself peeked over the covers to find nothing there just to have the oppressive feeling evaporate along with the sensation of pressure by her feet. Her dorm mates all seemed to stop stirring after that, and only then did the nightmares stop for her that night. By then she was left with barely enough time for one last short sleep cycle before the start of A shift that very morning. This was a secret she would have to keep to herself, nobody would believe her anyway.
“I think I'll ask the Chief for a break from my duties today to rest and to visit med bay. Maybe they can give me something to help catch back up on my sleep.” Sarah said.
“Good idea, can I come with? I’ll back you up.” Yvonne said. Sarah smiled at her friend before she nodded at her before they checked off the last of their duties on site and headed away to find the Chief.
2024.05.15 12:35 DefiantPossession101 Help
I've been scrolling through posts and I'm concerned. I relate to a lot of them on a deeper level. I am not diagnosed and I don't want to self-diagnose. I don't know if I am this way because I'm a teenager and will grow out of these intense thoughts and emotions or will I be this way forever. I've ruined friendships and relationships because of my INTENSE (definitely not normal) feelings of jealousy and insecurity. I can't get a diagnosis because I have very anti-therapy, traditional parents.
Tldr: Do I have BDP or am I just a normal teenager? I can't get diagnosed.
submitted by DefiantPossession101 to BPD [link] [comments]
Tldr: Do I have BDP or am I just a normal teenager? I can't get diagnosed.
2024.05.15 12:34 JG98 A detailed look at the possible origins of Panjabi folk song 'Jugni'.
The history of the Panjabi folk song "Jugni" is a captivating blend of storytelling, spiritual yearning, and a touch of mystery. Unlike a single song, "Jugni" represents a narrative style deeply embedded in Panjabi folk music for centuries. The word itself translates to "firefly" and is also used to describe a free-spirited woman. This symbolism reflects the multifaceted nature of Jugni performances.
The most widely accepted view suggests Jugni wasn't a specific song but a storytelling method used by Panjabi folk singers. It's likely that the themes explored in Jugni narratives ranged from everyday life experiences to spiritual reflections.
There's a theory suggesting a specific origin point around 1908, with folk singers Bishna and Manda credited for its creation. Both men hailed from the Majha region. According to a local lore, Manda (real name Mohammad) was a Muslim Mirasi from Hasanpur, Amritsar, while Bishna belonged to a Jatt family from the Kasur-Patti region. Their repertoire consisted mainly of traditional folk songs like Mirza and Tappe.
This theory behind Jugni's birth is interesting. It is said that around 1908, to celebrate the 50th year (golden jubilee) of Queen Victoria on the throne, a ceremonial flame traveled across British-ruled India, reaching every major city and district headquarters. Bishna and Manda, known for their stage performances, followed the flame wherever it went.
There's a discrepancy in how the word "Jugni" came about, but generally it's claimed that illiterate Bishna and Manda mispronounced "Jubilee" as "Jugni." Capitalizing on the festivities, Bishna and Manda incorporated the "Jugni" (or Jubilee) flame into their performances. They sang self-composed verses about the flame, accompanying themselves on traditional instruments like the Dhad and King. These catchy verses, referencing specific cities and villages, quickly gained popularity, inspiring others to create their own Jugni verses.
Their original 'Jugni-verse' was presumably: "Jugni jaa varhi Majithe, koi rann na chakki peethe, Putt gabhru mulak vich maare, rovan akhiyan par bulh si seete, Piir mereya oye Jugni ayi aa, ehnan kehrhi jot jagaee aa"
This 'Jugni's poetic style and versification later became a traditional method and started taking much more in it's clasp but the beginning of 'Jugni' always remained in some city or place:
"Jugni jaa varhi Ludhiane, Uhnun pai ge anne kaane, Maarn mukkian mangan daane, Piir mereya oye! Jugni kehndi aa, Jehrhi naam Ali da laindi aa"
As the "Jugni" flame traveled, Bishna and Manda's fame grew. However, the era was marked by public discontent towards British rule, including famines and oppression. This social unrest found its way into their Jugni verses, which often criticized the British Raj.
The popularity of these anti-colonial verses did not go unnoticed by the authorities. Bishna and Manda's performances were banned, forcing them to move their shows away from official festivities. Despite police intervention and crowd dispersal tactics, their revolutionary Jugni performances continued to inspire anti-British sentiment.
Tragically, their defiance ended with their arrest and torture by police in Gujranwala. They were reportedly buried in an unmarked grave, their voices silenced but their Jugni legacy living on in the hearts of the people. Both Bishna and Manda are said to have been around their 50s and unmarried, so it is said they died without heirs.
However, there are inconsistencies about this theory. Firstly, Queen Victoria's golden jubilee, which would be the most relevant jubilee for a celebration in 1908, actually occurred in 1887. Additionally, there's no historical record of a nationwide jubilee with a "Jugni" or "Jubilee" flame traveling across India for her coronation as Queen or Queen-Empress of the British Raj.
This discrepancy casts doubt on the accuracy of the story. It's possible that the details about the jubilee and the creation of Jugni are misremembered or embellished over time. Alternatively, there might have been a localized event around 1908 that involved some form of light or celebration, but it wouldn't have been the grand jubilee described in the story. It is possible that there was local events celebrating an end to the 1857 mutiny against British rule.
An alternative perspective comes from the acclaimed Panjabi folk singer Alam Lohar. He claimed to have coined the term "Jugni" inspired by Sufi poetry, and is credited with popularizing a specific style of Jugni singing. In his renditions, Jugni became a vehicle for expressing spiritual themes, often referencing God with terms like "saeen".
Lohar's own journey with Jugni began during his early performances in the 1930s, pre-dating the partition of Panjab. As a child prodigy, he sang Jugni extensively during this time. Unfortunately, limited recording facilities in British India prevented many of these early performances from being captured.
However, later in his career, Lohar released an LP record titled "Jugni" which became a huge success, achieving gold disc status in 1965. He recorded numerous variations of Jugni throughout his career, and some of these recordings are still available on LP records, black and white TV footage, and even YouTube.
Lohar's influence extends well beyond himself. Singers worldwide, including his son Arif Lohar, have been deeply inspired by his renditions of Jugni.
The passage also offers some interesting background on the word "Jugni" itself. It mentions a theory that Lohar might have been influenced by encountering the term in Sufi writings. Additionally, "Jugni" is noted to be a traditional Muslim prayer tool (Tasbih) and an ornament worn by Panjabi women. However, the connection between these uses of "Jugni" and the musical genre wasn't explicitly explained by Lohar.
Lohar's claim is contested by other Panjabi artists. They argue that Jugni existed well before him. This viewpoint strengthens the idea of Jugni being a long-standing narrative tradition.
Despite the debate on its exact origin, some aspects of Jugni's history are clear. It's an established Panjabi folk narrative style, likely referring to fireflies or a free spirit. Alam Lohar undeniably popularized a particular style of Jugni focused on spiritual themes. Renditions of Jugni have been made by many artists including Arif Lohar, Saleem Javed, Asa Singh Mastana, Surinder Kaur, Gurmeet Bawa, Kuldip Manak, Gurdas Mann, Harbhajan Mann, Rabbi Shergill, Malkit Singh, Babbu Mann, Diljit Dosanjh, Bilal Saeed, etc.
In conclusion, Jugni's history is a testament to the enduring power of Panjabi folk traditions. While its exact beginnings might be debated, Jugni's ability to capture the essence of a free spirit and the yearning for the divine continues to resonate with audiences.
submitted by JG98 to punjab [link] [comments]
The most widely accepted view suggests Jugni wasn't a specific song but a storytelling method used by Panjabi folk singers. It's likely that the themes explored in Jugni narratives ranged from everyday life experiences to spiritual reflections.
There's a theory suggesting a specific origin point around 1908, with folk singers Bishna and Manda credited for its creation. Both men hailed from the Majha region. According to a local lore, Manda (real name Mohammad) was a Muslim Mirasi from Hasanpur, Amritsar, while Bishna belonged to a Jatt family from the Kasur-Patti region. Their repertoire consisted mainly of traditional folk songs like Mirza and Tappe.
This theory behind Jugni's birth is interesting. It is said that around 1908, to celebrate the 50th year (golden jubilee) of Queen Victoria on the throne, a ceremonial flame traveled across British-ruled India, reaching every major city and district headquarters. Bishna and Manda, known for their stage performances, followed the flame wherever it went.
There's a discrepancy in how the word "Jugni" came about, but generally it's claimed that illiterate Bishna and Manda mispronounced "Jubilee" as "Jugni." Capitalizing on the festivities, Bishna and Manda incorporated the "Jugni" (or Jubilee) flame into their performances. They sang self-composed verses about the flame, accompanying themselves on traditional instruments like the Dhad and King. These catchy verses, referencing specific cities and villages, quickly gained popularity, inspiring others to create their own Jugni verses.
Their original 'Jugni-verse' was presumably: "Jugni jaa varhi Majithe, koi rann na chakki peethe, Putt gabhru mulak vich maare, rovan akhiyan par bulh si seete, Piir mereya oye Jugni ayi aa, ehnan kehrhi jot jagaee aa"
This 'Jugni's poetic style and versification later became a traditional method and started taking much more in it's clasp but the beginning of 'Jugni' always remained in some city or place:
"Jugni jaa varhi Ludhiane, Uhnun pai ge anne kaane, Maarn mukkian mangan daane, Piir mereya oye! Jugni kehndi aa, Jehrhi naam Ali da laindi aa"
As the "Jugni" flame traveled, Bishna and Manda's fame grew. However, the era was marked by public discontent towards British rule, including famines and oppression. This social unrest found its way into their Jugni verses, which often criticized the British Raj.
The popularity of these anti-colonial verses did not go unnoticed by the authorities. Bishna and Manda's performances were banned, forcing them to move their shows away from official festivities. Despite police intervention and crowd dispersal tactics, their revolutionary Jugni performances continued to inspire anti-British sentiment.
Tragically, their defiance ended with their arrest and torture by police in Gujranwala. They were reportedly buried in an unmarked grave, their voices silenced but their Jugni legacy living on in the hearts of the people. Both Bishna and Manda are said to have been around their 50s and unmarried, so it is said they died without heirs.
However, there are inconsistencies about this theory. Firstly, Queen Victoria's golden jubilee, which would be the most relevant jubilee for a celebration in 1908, actually occurred in 1887. Additionally, there's no historical record of a nationwide jubilee with a "Jugni" or "Jubilee" flame traveling across India for her coronation as Queen or Queen-Empress of the British Raj.
This discrepancy casts doubt on the accuracy of the story. It's possible that the details about the jubilee and the creation of Jugni are misremembered or embellished over time. Alternatively, there might have been a localized event around 1908 that involved some form of light or celebration, but it wouldn't have been the grand jubilee described in the story. It is possible that there was local events celebrating an end to the 1857 mutiny against British rule.
An alternative perspective comes from the acclaimed Panjabi folk singer Alam Lohar. He claimed to have coined the term "Jugni" inspired by Sufi poetry, and is credited with popularizing a specific style of Jugni singing. In his renditions, Jugni became a vehicle for expressing spiritual themes, often referencing God with terms like "saeen".
Lohar's own journey with Jugni began during his early performances in the 1930s, pre-dating the partition of Panjab. As a child prodigy, he sang Jugni extensively during this time. Unfortunately, limited recording facilities in British India prevented many of these early performances from being captured.
However, later in his career, Lohar released an LP record titled "Jugni" which became a huge success, achieving gold disc status in 1965. He recorded numerous variations of Jugni throughout his career, and some of these recordings are still available on LP records, black and white TV footage, and even YouTube.
Lohar's influence extends well beyond himself. Singers worldwide, including his son Arif Lohar, have been deeply inspired by his renditions of Jugni.
The passage also offers some interesting background on the word "Jugni" itself. It mentions a theory that Lohar might have been influenced by encountering the term in Sufi writings. Additionally, "Jugni" is noted to be a traditional Muslim prayer tool (Tasbih) and an ornament worn by Panjabi women. However, the connection between these uses of "Jugni" and the musical genre wasn't explicitly explained by Lohar.
Lohar's claim is contested by other Panjabi artists. They argue that Jugni existed well before him. This viewpoint strengthens the idea of Jugni being a long-standing narrative tradition.
Despite the debate on its exact origin, some aspects of Jugni's history are clear. It's an established Panjabi folk narrative style, likely referring to fireflies or a free spirit. Alam Lohar undeniably popularized a particular style of Jugni focused on spiritual themes. Renditions of Jugni have been made by many artists including Arif Lohar, Saleem Javed, Asa Singh Mastana, Surinder Kaur, Gurmeet Bawa, Kuldip Manak, Gurdas Mann, Harbhajan Mann, Rabbi Shergill, Malkit Singh, Babbu Mann, Diljit Dosanjh, Bilal Saeed, etc.
In conclusion, Jugni's history is a testament to the enduring power of Panjabi folk traditions. While its exact beginnings might be debated, Jugni's ability to capture the essence of a free spirit and the yearning for the divine continues to resonate with audiences.
2024.05.15 12:34 Lost-Waver In-depth analysis + Stems
Hello, I spent some time analyzing the audio and overall song production, and here are some of my conclusions:
Remastered audio for tracking time-stamps: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X63YuRSS_AM
Key & Tempo: 110.3 BPM, C / Amin
Origin of recording: Judging by the waveform, overall dynamics, huge compression, static noise, and mid-range distortion, my first guess would be that the snippet comes from a radio recording.
However, since we can hear a splash & water sound effect at 0:13, it could definitely come from a movie or TV show, so it could be a TV or VHS recording. Also, the audio has been cut at 1:05, affecting the transient of the kick-drum and the background synth chords (meaning it’s not natural). This is typically done in video production (movies, tv show, ads, etc) so the track can fit in a specific time range, adding up to the movie/TV show theory. Also, the recording has a DC Offset, which is more common in VHS recordings (due to the presence of the video channel) rather than FM or audio tapes recordings. However the audio dynamics seem pretty strange for a VHS recording.
Audio edits: It’s pretty weird that the audio doesn’t start at the very beginning of the file, if it was actually captured from a tape it wouldn’t be like that. That means the audio has been deliberately edited and cut from a longer recording.
Instruments used: Synthesizers, an Electric guitar can be heard at 0:48 (mostly in the isolated instrumental), a Slap bass probably from a synthesizer heard at 1:11, a Bass guitar that comes in at 0:05, and a drum machine (wouldn’t know which one though). I think the Bass synth comes from a different synthesizer than all the other sounds, perhaps a Moog or a Roland Juno.
Synths used: I must say that I’m not a synth expert, I’m more into sound engineering and music production overall, but I do know a bunch of them. For instance, I know the very first « brass » patch we hear at 0:00, but I can’t remember which synth has it. It’s also used in RAH band’s song « Clouds Across The Moon » (1:47 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3waMGm69gvY)
At 0:06 and 0:50 (and throughout various parts of the song) we can hear a sound preset that sounds very close to WHAM! « A Ray of Sunshine » pluck
It can be heard clearly in the intro of the instrumental remix: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiPpoVbjgVI Another live recording: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYbVqL63j0g
This sound comes from a PPG Wave 2.2 synthesizer (1982–1984), however, it may have been replicated in other synths such as the Yamaha DX7, Roland D-50, or even Korg M1. In this song, I suspect it to be the « MARIMBA » preset from Yamaha DX7 but I’m not 100% sure. After messing around with some DX7 emulations, I can confirm that the MARIMBA from DX7 Rom-3A sounds very close to this pluck.
During the bridges at 0:22 and 1:05, we can hear various sounds, one which could be VIBE 1 from the Yamaha DX7 (10:48 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3rrjQtQe5A), and the other « Rhodes-sounding » one could be E-PIANO 1 from the DX7 aswell (5:11 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3rrjQtQe5A). But these sounds were so common back then, they could come from pretty much any synthesizer.
I still think about the Roland D-50 which was very popular (released in 1987), and had a great sound quality. Most of the synths used in this song are of very good quality too.
Time period: Judging by the sounds used, the drum machine and pretty consistent tempo (that’s pretty rare for tracks of that era), it’s safe to say that the song is from the end of 80s, if not the early 90s. The original poster stated it could be from 87-88, and I think that’s sa good guess. It would also match the Roland D-50 release date.
Lyrics: I think we all figured the lyrics except for one particular line, the first line sang by the girl in the chorus. At first, I thought she was saying "Want you, You're Amazing", but i now realize this might be wrong. After many listens, now I keep hearing "Want You, To (???)" or "Won't You, Do a (???)". I have a feeling that this particular line might be the key to the real title of this song.
Potential Title: I doubt the track name is « Don’t stop what you’re doing » since this line is only said once in a verse. It would make more sense if the track was named after a chorus line, like:
Stems: I used an AI to split the Vocals and Instrumental, here are some links:
submitted by Lost-Waver to stopwhatyouredoing [link] [comments]
Remastered audio for tracking time-stamps: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X63YuRSS_AM
Key & Tempo: 110.3 BPM, C / Amin
Origin of recording: Judging by the waveform, overall dynamics, huge compression, static noise, and mid-range distortion, my first guess would be that the snippet comes from a radio recording.
However, since we can hear a splash & water sound effect at 0:13, it could definitely come from a movie or TV show, so it could be a TV or VHS recording. Also, the audio has been cut at 1:05, affecting the transient of the kick-drum and the background synth chords (meaning it’s not natural). This is typically done in video production (movies, tv show, ads, etc) so the track can fit in a specific time range, adding up to the movie/TV show theory. Also, the recording has a DC Offset, which is more common in VHS recordings (due to the presence of the video channel) rather than FM or audio tapes recordings. However the audio dynamics seem pretty strange for a VHS recording.
Audio edits: It’s pretty weird that the audio doesn’t start at the very beginning of the file, if it was actually captured from a tape it wouldn’t be like that. That means the audio has been deliberately edited and cut from a longer recording.
Instruments used: Synthesizers, an Electric guitar can be heard at 0:48 (mostly in the isolated instrumental), a Slap bass probably from a synthesizer heard at 1:11, a Bass guitar that comes in at 0:05, and a drum machine (wouldn’t know which one though). I think the Bass synth comes from a different synthesizer than all the other sounds, perhaps a Moog or a Roland Juno.
Synths used: I must say that I’m not a synth expert, I’m more into sound engineering and music production overall, but I do know a bunch of them. For instance, I know the very first « brass » patch we hear at 0:00, but I can’t remember which synth has it. It’s also used in RAH band’s song « Clouds Across The Moon » (1:47 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3waMGm69gvY)
At 0:06 and 0:50 (and throughout various parts of the song) we can hear a sound preset that sounds very close to WHAM! « A Ray of Sunshine » pluck
It can be heard clearly in the intro of the instrumental remix: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiPpoVbjgVI Another live recording: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYbVqL63j0g
This sound comes from a PPG Wave 2.2 synthesizer (1982–1984), however, it may have been replicated in other synths such as the Yamaha DX7, Roland D-50, or even Korg M1. In this song, I suspect it to be the « MARIMBA » preset from Yamaha DX7 but I’m not 100% sure. After messing around with some DX7 emulations, I can confirm that the MARIMBA from DX7 Rom-3A sounds very close to this pluck.
During the bridges at 0:22 and 1:05, we can hear various sounds, one which could be VIBE 1 from the Yamaha DX7 (10:48 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3rrjQtQe5A), and the other « Rhodes-sounding » one could be E-PIANO 1 from the DX7 aswell (5:11 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3rrjQtQe5A). But these sounds were so common back then, they could come from pretty much any synthesizer.
I still think about the Roland D-50 which was very popular (released in 1987), and had a great sound quality. Most of the synths used in this song are of very good quality too.
Time period: Judging by the sounds used, the drum machine and pretty consistent tempo (that’s pretty rare for tracks of that era), it’s safe to say that the song is from the end of 80s, if not the early 90s. The original poster stated it could be from 87-88, and I think that’s sa good guess. It would also match the Roland D-50 release date.
Lyrics: I think we all figured the lyrics except for one particular line, the first line sang by the girl in the chorus. At first, I thought she was saying "Want you, You're Amazing", but i now realize this might be wrong. After many listens, now I keep hearing "Want You, To (???)" or "Won't You, Do a (???)". I have a feeling that this particular line might be the key to the real title of this song.
Potential Title: I doubt the track name is « Don’t stop what you’re doing » since this line is only said once in a verse. It would make more sense if the track was named after a chorus line, like:
- I think I’m in love
- I’m in love
- You’re Amazing (or whatever the girl's singing)
- You Amaze me (a variation of the girl's line)
Stems: I used an AI to split the Vocals and Instrumental, here are some links:
- Instrumental: https://www.mediafire.com/file/qj8o3ki7m6fqaax/Stop+what+you're+doing_Instrumental.mp3/file
- Vocal: https://www.mediafire.com/file/72jfjyqtjivj832/Stop+what+you're+doing_Vocal.mp3/file
- Vocal (remastered): https://www.mediafire.com/file/d7w73w8k3ys8ppo/Stop+what+you're+doing_Vocal+EQ.wav/file
2024.05.15 12:30 alexmurray24 Is Jack Mcbrayer Gay? Star’s Secret Connection Revealed!
Jack McBrayer: American actor and comedian, born May 27, 1973. He became famous through his roles on ‘Late Night with Conan O’Brien’ and as Kenneth Parcell on ’30 Rock’. His ’30 Rock’ role earned him a nomination for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series at the Primetime Emmy Awards. Many people are nosy about Jack McBrayer’s sexual orientation. Let’s answer the question – is Jack McBrayer gay?
The actor himself has not commented anything about his sexual orientation. What we need is to respect his privacy and appreciate that his sexual orientation is nothing else but a personal affair belonging to Jack McBrayer alone.
That is why until he chooses to open this part of his life, we cannot make any definite statements as to what his actual sexual orientation might be.
In contrast, others highlight his secretive nature and the enigma surrounding his love life hence creating an element of doubt concerning which way he swings. These interactions with Alexander Skarsgard have fueled speculations about the sexuality of Jack McBrayer.
Even so, whether Jack is straight or not remains unanswered in a relatively private manner, contributing to fans’ ongoing scrutiny of this comedian’s preferences.
It’s critical to recall that everyone has the freedom of privacy. It’s up to each person to decide how much they want to share about their personal life. As fans and observers, it’s vital to respect this privacy and focus on valuing their professional work.
There have been rumors that he dated his “30 Rock” co-star Jane Krakowski in the past, but neither of them proved or refuted these rumors.
It’s crucial to respect McBrayer’s privacy and focus on his professional victories. He is a talented actor and comedian, and his contributions to the entertainment industry are significant.
submitted by alexmurray24 to u/alexmurray24 [link] [comments]
Details About Jack McBrayer’s Personal Life
| Detail | Information |
|---|---|
| Full Name | Jack McBrayer |
| Date of Birth | May 27, 1973 |
| Place of Birth | Macon, Georgia, U.S. |
| Education | University of Evansville (BFA) |
| Occupation | Actor, Comedian |
| Years Active | 1995–present |
| Notable Roles | Kenneth Parcell in 30 Rock, Fix-It Felix Jr. in Wreck-It Ralph |
| Relationship Status | Private |
Is Jack McBrayer Gay?
Jack McBrayer is one of those people who like to maintain their private lives away from the public eye. Some admirers believe that he could be either asexual or gay, but these are mere conjectures.The actor himself has not commented anything about his sexual orientation. What we need is to respect his privacy and appreciate that his sexual orientation is nothing else but a personal affair belonging to Jack McBrayer alone.
That is why until he chooses to open this part of his life, we cannot make any definite statements as to what his actual sexual orientation might be.
Why Do People Think Jack McBrayer Is Gay?
Various rumors and discussions have led to a lot of speculation about Jack McBrayer’s sexual orientation. Some think that he may be gay on account of his lack of public relationships and the absence of any information about his personal life.In contrast, others highlight his secretive nature and the enigma surrounding his love life hence creating an element of doubt concerning which way he swings. These interactions with Alexander Skarsgard have fueled speculations about the sexuality of Jack McBrayer.
Even so, whether Jack is straight or not remains unanswered in a relatively private manner, contributing to fans’ ongoing scrutiny of this comedian’s preferences.
How Jack McBrayer Handles These Rumors?
Jack McBrayer has decided to keep his private life secret. He has not publicly talked about talks about his sexual orientation. His representative has said, “I will not discuss his personal life” when questioned about these rumors.It’s critical to recall that everyone has the freedom of privacy. It’s up to each person to decide how much they want to share about their personal life. As fans and observers, it’s vital to respect this privacy and focus on valuing their professional work.
Jack McBrayer’s Past Relationships
Jack McBrayer has always kept his personal life private as of may 2024. He is not active on social media and has not been seen in public with a romantic mate. Hence, his past relationships remain largely anonymous.There have been rumors that he dated his “30 Rock” co-star Jane Krakowski in the past, but neither of them proved or refuted these rumors.
It’s crucial to respect McBrayer’s privacy and focus on his professional victories. He is a talented actor and comedian, and his contributions to the entertainment industry are significant.
2024.05.15 12:29 cthulucore Dreaming Of Long Dead Friend
Hey all.
So basically one of, if not the closest friend I ever had died of a sudden brain aneurysm about 10 years ago. We were in our early twenties, and healthy people.
This certainly had long reaching and permanent effects on my mental health, and how close I get to people. Even went as far as putting distance between other people I was close with in my life at the time.
I loved this girl platonically more than I think I've romantically loved any girl in my life to date.
It sucked like hell for a long time, but I did come to terms with it eventually, even if I still think of her regularly.
But within the last week, almost every night I've been have countless dream about her. I remember 3, 4, 5 of them every morning. They're nothing crazy, honestly pretty boring dreams. Just hanging out, driving around, getting food, watching movies.
But she is definitely the focus. Don't get me wrong, they're good dreams, and I'm happy in them. But it is physically exhausting. I'm restless and having some.. overcorrecting emotions in the first couple hours of the morning. Some of that depression from the weeks and months after she passed start bubbling up.
I don't know if it means anything. I don't really buy into all of that, but I just needed to get it out somewhere.
Thanks.
submitted by cthulucore to Dreams [link] [comments]
So basically one of, if not the closest friend I ever had died of a sudden brain aneurysm about 10 years ago. We were in our early twenties, and healthy people.
This certainly had long reaching and permanent effects on my mental health, and how close I get to people. Even went as far as putting distance between other people I was close with in my life at the time.
I loved this girl platonically more than I think I've romantically loved any girl in my life to date.
It sucked like hell for a long time, but I did come to terms with it eventually, even if I still think of her regularly.
But within the last week, almost every night I've been have countless dream about her. I remember 3, 4, 5 of them every morning. They're nothing crazy, honestly pretty boring dreams. Just hanging out, driving around, getting food, watching movies.
But she is definitely the focus. Don't get me wrong, they're good dreams, and I'm happy in them. But it is physically exhausting. I'm restless and having some.. overcorrecting emotions in the first couple hours of the morning. Some of that depression from the weeks and months after she passed start bubbling up.
I don't know if it means anything. I don't really buy into all of that, but I just needed to get it out somewhere.
Thanks.
2024.05.15 12:25 CuriousKid_123 I(F16) am in a relationship but met someone(M16) better
I saw a lot of posts about this with people advising the OP on choosing wisely; however, my definition of "better" is a little different. This person is OBJECTIVELY better: better looking, better academics, better talents, more in common, nicer personality. If I got to know this person and my bf at the same time I WOULD NOT HAVE DATED MY BF, but this person came later. What should I do? The problem is that we all go tot eh same school so it would be very awkward and I'm afraid my current bf will do something bad
submitted by CuriousKid_123 to teenrelationships [link] [comments]
2024.05.15 12:18 Listen_to_your_fire To text or not to text him? F30 vs M23
Please help me figure this one out... 🙏
I'm F30, I met this M23 on a dating app. I know, I know... What a gap. Anyway. Instant insane connexion. Definitely one of the special encounters, we tick all of each other's boxes on every level, which I think caught us both by surprise and actually scared us a bit because of how fast we were falling for each other.
After the first date (6 hours of talking in the park, then food, then wine at his place), out of himself, he told me he was "totally down to not date anybody else" and on the third, again out of himself, that he's "ready to invest his energy, time and being in me/us. I'm ready to delete the app, and I'm not asking you to do the same back."
"Great, I thought, finally a healthy, emotionally mature guy who knows what he wants and does what it takes to get it!". 😁
I kissed him on the third date (a few hours before his speech) and we hadn't had sex yet. He was never a big texter though and he told me he liked to have alone time because he is an introvert. For me it's hard because I am a passionate person but I respect that.
As I was leaving after our 3rd date, he asked me "let me know when you wanna meet up next week to study together" and I said "well it will have to be after Thursday" and when he replied "oh.." I could tell he might be a little disappointed that it would be in so long. But I didn't say anything. Later that evening (Saturday) he texted me ('hey, I've done this, eaten that, good night') and I... Well... I didn't reply until the next Friday. I know it's long... But I thought that he would be happy to have some space cause we had just spent a whole 24 hours together.
So on Friday I called him, he didn't pick up, but we texted for a bit. The next day we don't text at all and I feel I'm gonna explode... I NEED closeness with him! I text him that I wanna see him, he invites me over, I go to his place.
There - fasten your seat belt - not only do I learn that he had had a date with someone else during the week, but he also had sex with her. 🥳 I asked why and he said "because I felt rejected, and my pride was telling me not to double text you because I thought you would perceive me as weak." Of course I held a whole speech about that going after what you want is exactly what makes you strong, that it's easier to fuck a random stranger or run away from things than taking the phone, swallowing your pride, owning and admitting your feelings and being open, honest and vulnerable. It takes strength and courage to do that. He didn't really say anything to this.
Keep your seat belt on. I asked for a cigarette (I quit a long time ago but fuck it). We went on the balcony and his male flatmate (never seen before) came out to smoke as well. I started to look at him and devour him with my eyes. I wanted to just go kiss him right there in front of that A** but I refrained myself. The roommate went back in, I went to the toilet, A** went to his room. Believe it or not. When I came out of the bathroom the ROOMMATE opened his door and handed me a piece of paper with his phone number on it. I grabbed his hole hand instead of just the paper, pulled him towards me and kissed the shit out of him. He pulled me in his room, closed the door and after a moment asked "are you sure it does not bother him?" "hahaha no don't worry, he doesn't care!" "Are you sure?" "Should we go ask him?". I go to A's room and say "hey... Do you mind if I have sex with your roommate right now?" He bugged. Froze. "Yeah, sure...". I go back to roommate and make out again for another 15 minutes or so. We end up on his bed, I am so not horny but I act like he's the best man in the world. Then I ask "do you have a condom though?" "No.. Do you?" "Oh, no... But I know who might" "😏... Ok go ask him". So I go back and say "sorry, do you have a condom?" "of course, how many do you want? Should I give you two?" "ah... I think three or four should be better" "you're getting two". I go back to roommate's, make out again and then said "oh wait sorry, I forgot something..." and leave the room. I went back to A's, he's on his bed, laptop on the lap, phone in the hands, headphones in the ears. I sit, close his computer, look at him straight in the eye and ask "what does this make you feel?".
And so we started talking. We talked for like 5 hours, until 7 in the morning. And even though there were little hints of "I would like to see you again but I don't know if you would" here and there, it didn't feel like he was making enough effort to fix the mess he made, the trust he betrayed, he never asked for forgiveness or a second chance. In fact he seemed quite numb and apathetic to be honest. He opened up like crazy about his past and deep thoughts though. I realized he has abandonment issues and big old fear of rejection. He has no one and is lonely. I asked him "do you think you might have done what you did because you got scared by the fact that you finally met someone reliable, honest, and trustworthy?" "self sabotage? Yeah... I do that a lot."
I start to get ready to leave, he stands up and comes towards me for a hug, but I stepped back. He says 'ok'. I say "You know.. I just don't get it why you would do something like this after you told me you were ready to not date anybody, delete the app..." "yeah, in the end I deleted it and downloaded it again." "No you didn't." "How do you know?" "Tell me when you did it" "well... Two days after we first met." "But... It was after our 3rd date that you told me you would do it" "oh... Well then I guess I didn't." "Are you lying to me right now?" "Yeah... Yeah actually that was a lie right there...".
More blabla. In the end, he was just getting really tired and couldn't really function properly anymore. He said we could call to talk about this more. Shortly after, I just left, without goodbye.
I know he will never call me back because yeah... He doesn't really fight for what he wants. So... Should I?
submitted by Listen_to_your_fire to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
I'm F30, I met this M23 on a dating app. I know, I know... What a gap. Anyway. Instant insane connexion. Definitely one of the special encounters, we tick all of each other's boxes on every level, which I think caught us both by surprise and actually scared us a bit because of how fast we were falling for each other.
After the first date (6 hours of talking in the park, then food, then wine at his place), out of himself, he told me he was "totally down to not date anybody else" and on the third, again out of himself, that he's "ready to invest his energy, time and being in me/us. I'm ready to delete the app, and I'm not asking you to do the same back."
"Great, I thought, finally a healthy, emotionally mature guy who knows what he wants and does what it takes to get it!". 😁
I kissed him on the third date (a few hours before his speech) and we hadn't had sex yet. He was never a big texter though and he told me he liked to have alone time because he is an introvert. For me it's hard because I am a passionate person but I respect that.
As I was leaving after our 3rd date, he asked me "let me know when you wanna meet up next week to study together" and I said "well it will have to be after Thursday" and when he replied "oh.." I could tell he might be a little disappointed that it would be in so long. But I didn't say anything. Later that evening (Saturday) he texted me ('hey, I've done this, eaten that, good night') and I... Well... I didn't reply until the next Friday. I know it's long... But I thought that he would be happy to have some space cause we had just spent a whole 24 hours together.
So on Friday I called him, he didn't pick up, but we texted for a bit. The next day we don't text at all and I feel I'm gonna explode... I NEED closeness with him! I text him that I wanna see him, he invites me over, I go to his place.
There - fasten your seat belt - not only do I learn that he had had a date with someone else during the week, but he also had sex with her. 🥳 I asked why and he said "because I felt rejected, and my pride was telling me not to double text you because I thought you would perceive me as weak." Of course I held a whole speech about that going after what you want is exactly what makes you strong, that it's easier to fuck a random stranger or run away from things than taking the phone, swallowing your pride, owning and admitting your feelings and being open, honest and vulnerable. It takes strength and courage to do that. He didn't really say anything to this.
Keep your seat belt on. I asked for a cigarette (I quit a long time ago but fuck it). We went on the balcony and his male flatmate (never seen before) came out to smoke as well. I started to look at him and devour him with my eyes. I wanted to just go kiss him right there in front of that A** but I refrained myself. The roommate went back in, I went to the toilet, A** went to his room. Believe it or not. When I came out of the bathroom the ROOMMATE opened his door and handed me a piece of paper with his phone number on it. I grabbed his hole hand instead of just the paper, pulled him towards me and kissed the shit out of him. He pulled me in his room, closed the door and after a moment asked "are you sure it does not bother him?" "hahaha no don't worry, he doesn't care!" "Are you sure?" "Should we go ask him?". I go to A's room and say "hey... Do you mind if I have sex with your roommate right now?" He bugged. Froze. "Yeah, sure...". I go back to roommate and make out again for another 15 minutes or so. We end up on his bed, I am so not horny but I act like he's the best man in the world. Then I ask "do you have a condom though?" "No.. Do you?" "Oh, no... But I know who might" "😏... Ok go ask him". So I go back and say "sorry, do you have a condom?" "of course, how many do you want? Should I give you two?" "ah... I think three or four should be better" "you're getting two". I go back to roommate's, make out again and then said "oh wait sorry, I forgot something..." and leave the room. I went back to A's, he's on his bed, laptop on the lap, phone in the hands, headphones in the ears. I sit, close his computer, look at him straight in the eye and ask "what does this make you feel?".
And so we started talking. We talked for like 5 hours, until 7 in the morning. And even though there were little hints of "I would like to see you again but I don't know if you would" here and there, it didn't feel like he was making enough effort to fix the mess he made, the trust he betrayed, he never asked for forgiveness or a second chance. In fact he seemed quite numb and apathetic to be honest. He opened up like crazy about his past and deep thoughts though. I realized he has abandonment issues and big old fear of rejection. He has no one and is lonely. I asked him "do you think you might have done what you did because you got scared by the fact that you finally met someone reliable, honest, and trustworthy?" "self sabotage? Yeah... I do that a lot."
I start to get ready to leave, he stands up and comes towards me for a hug, but I stepped back. He says 'ok'. I say "You know.. I just don't get it why you would do something like this after you told me you were ready to not date anybody, delete the app..." "yeah, in the end I deleted it and downloaded it again." "No you didn't." "How do you know?" "Tell me when you did it" "well... Two days after we first met." "But... It was after our 3rd date that you told me you would do it" "oh... Well then I guess I didn't." "Are you lying to me right now?" "Yeah... Yeah actually that was a lie right there...".
More blabla. In the end, he was just getting really tired and couldn't really function properly anymore. He said we could call to talk about this more. Shortly after, I just left, without goodbye.
I know he will never call me back because yeah... He doesn't really fight for what he wants. So... Should I?
2024.05.15 12:13 ThrowRA12779 I (24F) am becoming friends with my guy friend’s (26M) GF (24F) but I’m keeping a secret from her that may really upset her, should I tell her?
I met this guy friend (26M) at uni and we have been friends for 4ish years now. There was a short period we were very very close. Just over a year ago, I was going through a breakup, and he hosted a party. I got very drunk and we slept together. It was the only time this has happened, but he had kissed me previously and I turned him down. In the middle of us sleeping together, he gave a speech which I thought was a bit weird at the time. It was about how I was the “perfect girl, smart, funny and good looking and would find someone amazing but it wasn’t him”, and went on for a while. I told him that was fine and didn’t really get why he was saying it. We have never ever talked about it. However, at the party, he had invited this girl who I hadn’t met before, and she is now his GF. They started dating shortly after this party, so I assume they must have been talking at the time, and he must have known he was interested. I had no idea that he was in a thing with her at the time, and I didn't find out they were dating until a while later.
On principle the situation kind of pissed me off a bit, as it felt like he’d wanted to sleep with me for a bit, and had wanted to check the box off before he got into a committed relationship. That kind of fucked with me mentally, as I felt like I was hook up but not dating material. I’m absolutely over it now though. I’ve never wanted to date him and honestly, I would not even think about sleeping with him again, even if he was single.
When he got his girlfriend, I took a huge step back from the friendship, I don’t message him to start random convos, and will catch up with him once every so often but mostly in a group. I would never dream of crossing any kind of line or boundary and absolutely respect their relationship. I think they’re a really good match and would never want to do anything to affect that. I also decided that I wouldn’t try and be besties with his GF, and have always been nice to her but have never hung out with her one on one or tried to talk to her about their relationship.
However, there’s been a few occasions which are innocent but if I was his GF I would not be comfortable with. For one, he got drunk at a party and gave me a speech about how beautiful, smart, funny, amazing and wonderful I am and told me I am “any man’s dream girl”. I repeatedly assured him I didn’t need validation, especially from him, and left the conversation. Further, we went on a trip with another friend (which was planned well before they started dating), and he got me to help him pick out a necklace for his gf for their anniversary. He even wanted to try it on me first but I shut it down.
Recently, her and I hung out one on one and we got on really well. I honestly like her better than him and think that we could be super close friends in any other circumstance. Some of my friends think it’s a bad idea to get closer with her because I would be keeping him and I hooking up a secret.
I know he’s never told her about the two of us (he’s never told anyone), and she’s made comments about how it would make her really anxious if she found out he was hooking up with someone or dating someone right before her. I’m not sure if I should tell her - on one hand, I think I would want to know if my BF had slept with one of his girl friends, but on the other hand I think I’d want to know that so I could keep and eye on the situation, and I’d want to hear it from him. I know that I would never even flirt with him let alone sleep with him again and I also wouldn’t want to interfere in their relationship for no reason. If he ever came onto me I’d definitely say something.
Tldr; i slept with one of my guy friends right before he started dating his current girlfriend. I am getting closer with her, and she has no idea that it happened.
Should I say something to her, or distance myself, or is it okay to get closer to her and not tell her?
submitted by ThrowRA12779 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
On principle the situation kind of pissed me off a bit, as it felt like he’d wanted to sleep with me for a bit, and had wanted to check the box off before he got into a committed relationship. That kind of fucked with me mentally, as I felt like I was hook up but not dating material. I’m absolutely over it now though. I’ve never wanted to date him and honestly, I would not even think about sleeping with him again, even if he was single.
When he got his girlfriend, I took a huge step back from the friendship, I don’t message him to start random convos, and will catch up with him once every so often but mostly in a group. I would never dream of crossing any kind of line or boundary and absolutely respect their relationship. I think they’re a really good match and would never want to do anything to affect that. I also decided that I wouldn’t try and be besties with his GF, and have always been nice to her but have never hung out with her one on one or tried to talk to her about their relationship.
However, there’s been a few occasions which are innocent but if I was his GF I would not be comfortable with. For one, he got drunk at a party and gave me a speech about how beautiful, smart, funny, amazing and wonderful I am and told me I am “any man’s dream girl”. I repeatedly assured him I didn’t need validation, especially from him, and left the conversation. Further, we went on a trip with another friend (which was planned well before they started dating), and he got me to help him pick out a necklace for his gf for their anniversary. He even wanted to try it on me first but I shut it down.
Recently, her and I hung out one on one and we got on really well. I honestly like her better than him and think that we could be super close friends in any other circumstance. Some of my friends think it’s a bad idea to get closer with her because I would be keeping him and I hooking up a secret.
I know he’s never told her about the two of us (he’s never told anyone), and she’s made comments about how it would make her really anxious if she found out he was hooking up with someone or dating someone right before her. I’m not sure if I should tell her - on one hand, I think I would want to know if my BF had slept with one of his girl friends, but on the other hand I think I’d want to know that so I could keep and eye on the situation, and I’d want to hear it from him. I know that I would never even flirt with him let alone sleep with him again and I also wouldn’t want to interfere in their relationship for no reason. If he ever came onto me I’d definitely say something.
Tldr; i slept with one of my guy friends right before he started dating his current girlfriend. I am getting closer with her, and she has no idea that it happened.
Should I say something to her, or distance myself, or is it okay to get closer to her and not tell her?
2024.05.15 12:04 Samkkole My tinder date made it clear that she loves being a slut in public
So here it goes, I was with my tinder match we had just and started dating, just putting it out there she was damn sexy. We went for a early morning show of not so popular movie so that we could make out and stuff. We went in and after only 10 minutes we were making out while there were some other couples sitting few seats away from us.l pulled one of her tit out of her top and started sucking her nipple. She let out a moan and they definitely heard that but we were too horny to be bothered. Then suddenly she asked me to finger her ass. I was surprised butloved how she demanded it. I pushed my hand inside her pants from behind and inserted my middle finger in her ass.She kinda sat on my hand with my finger inside her and started moving up and down. She was literally fucking her ass using my finger in a movie theatre trying not to get noticed. After a good session of fingering and some more making out we came out and after eating some stuff left in a cab.She was still so horny l could see it in her eyes. But she wasn't gonna wait for me to read her eyes , so she asked me to finger her pussy this time. Obviously I obliged and put my hand in her panties. I put my middle finger in, you can't imagine how wet her pussy was. My finger got soaking wet instantly. But she wanted more so I put second finger too. She still wanted more so I finger fucked her pussy in the back of cab with 4 fingers deep inside her.Whenever the cab would stop at a single I would slow down because the sound of those wet chomps were clearly noticeable and the driver also heard but dint really figure out cause we i made her just scroll through youtube reels so that he wouldnt be curious to know what happening but we stopped caring at this time.l kept fingering and then when it was time to reach our her place where she had to get off so I put my fingers her mouth and made sure she sucked her cum of my fingers for the mess her pussy made.
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2024.05.15 12:00 The_Way358 Essential Teachings: A Biblical Model of Ethics
Introduction
In this post, we'll be discussing something called "Virtue Ethics." This is a normative theory of ethics that's most associated with Aristotle, though has in recent times experienced a resurgence of sorts from modern philosophers, some of whom have tweaked and modified it, and in doing so have created different branches on this tree of moral theory. We will be comparing these different flavors of Virtue Ethics to that of the New Testament's, pointing out where they're similar, as well as highlighting where the NT differs (and is actually superior) from the heathens' views.I want to preface all this with a verse and a warning:
"Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ."-Colossians 2:8The entire Bible, over and over again, warns against syncretism. It's a running theme throughout to condemn the practice, with this verse being one of the more explicit ones to do so.
Mapping the ideas of Pagans (and especially Greek philosophers) onto the Scriptures has always resulted in people severely misinterpreting the Bible, as looking at the Word of God through a Hellenistic lens is and always has been extremely innapropiate to the author's original intent.
Whenever Greek philosophy or ideas are referenced, they're always portrayed in a bad light or otherwise used to make a point. Examples of the latter could be found in the apostle Paul's writings, as he was a fully educated Roman citizen of his day, and so he made use of known Hellenestic philosophy and literature (that he would have been familiar with) by redefining their terms and ideas in a way that would be consistent with the theology of his own religion. The apostle Peter did the same within his own epistles whenever he mentioned "Tartarus," the abyss/prison for certain disobedient angels that rebelled against God, despite the fact that the word has its roots in Greek mythology and not Hebrew religion (though, the belief that there were a group of spiritual beings that rebelled against the highest authority in the heavens was one technically shared between the two ancient cultures; even if the parties involved were vastly different, as well as the contexts of the rebellion itself).
The affect Hellenstic philosophy has had on the way people think (even subconsciously) can still be felt to this day, and can be seen in the confusion modern "Christianity" has brought on through its adoption of Gnostic teachings such as Dualism or the inherently fatalistic views that many unknowingly hold due to the error of Classical Theism.
While yes, I will be commending the heathen (unbeliever) whenever they are right with their ideas as pertaining to this subject, I will also show where they are wrong.
Let's begin.
"What Is Virtue Ethics?"
First, we need to define some terms and point out the differences between this view and others within the larger debate of normative ethics.There are three major approaches in normative ethics, those being: Consequentalism, Deontology, and Virtue Ethics. The following are definitions of the terms:
Consequentialism – a class of normative, teleological ethical theories that holds that the consequences of one's conduct are the ultimate basis for judgement about the rightness or wrongness of that conduct.
Deontology – theories where an action is considered morally good because of some characteristic of the action itself, not because the product of the action is good. Deontological ethics holds that at least some acts are morally obligatory regardless of their consequences for human welfare.
Virtue Ethics – theories that emphasize the role of character and virtue in moral philosophy rather than either doing one’s duty or acting in order to bring about good consequences. The virtue ethicist would argue that actions themselves, while important, aren't as important as the character behind them. To the virtue ethicist, consequences are also important, but they would say that good consequences ultimately flow from a virtuous character who has made virtuous decisions. Theories of virtue ethics do not aim primarily to identify universal principles that can be applied in any moral situation, instead teaching that the best decisions can vary based on context, and that there are only some actions that would be universally evil, only because those actions could never flow from a virtuous character in the first place (e.g., rape).
Aristotle's idea of ethics is in an important respect different from most people's, especially today. Heirs as we are to Kant’s idea of duty – there is a right thing that one ought to do, as rational beings who respect other persons – and to Mill’s idea of utility – the right thing to do is that which produces the greatest good for the greatest number – most of us see ethics as concerned with actions. "The function of ethics is to help me see what I ought to do in a given situation," the modern says. Aristotle’s approach was different. His ethic is not so much concerned about helping us to see what we ought to do, as about what sort of person we ought to be.
Aristotle was concerned with character, and with the things that go to make up good and bad character; virtues and vices. His sort of ethic does not look at our action to see if it fulfils our duty, or produces a certain outcome, such as the greatest good of the greatest number, and therefore merits approval. Instead, it looks at us; at the character behind the actions, to see whether we merit approval.
Comparing Virtue Ethics with philosophies such as Deontology and Consequentialism, we are able to divide ethical theories into two kinds; act-centered theories and agent-centered theories. Kant’s (Deontological) and Mill’s (Utilitarian) approaches are act-centered, because they concern themselves with our actions, whilst Aristotle’s is agent-centered because it concerns itself with the character of a person, which in his view was ourselves and our own dispositions that prompt our actions.
Both approaches have ardent present-day advocates, and so both are alive and well. Virtue Ethicists are dissatisfied with the answers ‘modern’ act-centered philosophy offers, and look for a more flexible, person-centered approach that takes more account of the subtle varieties of human motivation. Those in this camp see ethics as being about people – moral agents – rather than merely about actions. Of course, your actions matter. But, for Aristotle and his present day advocates alike, they matter as expressions of the kind of person you are. They indicate such qualities as kindness, fairness, compassion, and so on, and it is these qualities and their corresponding vices that it is the business of ethics to approve or disapprove.
All this seems simple and uncontroversial; there are two ways of looking at an action to evaluate it morally. You can take the action in isolation and judge it, or take the agent and judge him or her.
Virtue ethicists argue that act-centered ethics are narrow and bloodless. What is needed is a richer moral vocabulary than just ‘right and wrong’. There are subtle but important differences between actions that are good because they are kind and those that are good because they are generous, and those that are good because they are just. Likewise, there are subtle but important differences between actions that are bad because they are selfish and those that are bad because they are cruel and those that are bad because they are unfair. These, and many other, distinctions are lost when we talk simply about doing one’s duty, or promoting utility. Questions of motive and of character are lost, in these asceptic terms. Modern moral philosophy won’t do: it is cold, technical and insensitive to the many kinds and degrees of value expressed in human actions. Ethics is more than just thought experiments and hypotheticals about what would be the right course of action to take in any given situation we might conjure up from the comfort of our armchair. Ethics is about doing, and about context and character.
The Different Kinds of "Virtue Ethics"
Virtue Ethics has has been developed in two main directions: Eudaimonism, and agent-based theories.Eudaimonism (Aristotle's view) bases virtues in human flourishing, where flourishing is equated with performing one’s distinctive function well. In the case of humans, Aristotle argued that our distinctive function is reasoning, and so the life “worth living” is one which we reason well. He also believed that only free men in the upper classes of society (i.e., the aristocrats) could excel in virtue and eschew vice, being that such men had greater access to the means in accomplishing this task as they had the wealth and resources to better perform their distinctive function of 'reasoning,' and thus "live well." For the Eudaimonian, inner dispositions are what one ought to focus on in order to cultivate virtuous traits, and thus a virtuous character.
In contrast, an agent-based theory emphasizes that virtues are determined by common-sense intuitions that we as observers judge to be admirable traits in other people. There are a variety of human traits that we find admirable, such as benevolence, kindness, compassion, etc., and we can identify these by looking at the people we admire, our moral exemplars. Agent-based theories also state that the motivations and intentions behind an action are ultimately what determine whether or not said action is actually virtuous. Whereas Eudaimonism understands the moral life in terms of inner dispositions or proclivities to act in certain ways (whether righteous or wicked, just or unjust, kind or cruel, etc.), agent-based theories are more radical in that their evaluation of actions is dependent on ethical judgments about the inner life of the agents who perform those actions, that is, what the motivations and intents are of a person.
[Note: While both Eudaimonism and agent-based theories are both agent-centered, Eudaimonism is not to be confused with an agent-based theory. Both branches concern themselves more with agents rather than acts themselves, but Eudamonism focuses on the self to improve whereas the agent-based theory focuses on others to improve.]
Common Critcisims Toward Secular Forms of Virtue Ethics
Firstly, Eudaimonism provides a self-centered conception of ethics because "human flourishing" (here defined as simply fulfilling our base function as humans, which is "reason" according to this view) is seen as an end in itself and does not sufficiently consider the extent to which our actions affect other people. Morality requires us to consider others for their own sake and not because they may benefit us. There seems to be something wrong with aiming to behave compassionately, kindly, and honestly merely because this will make oneself happier or "reason well."Secondly, both Eudaimonism and agent-based theories also don't provide guidance on how we should act, as there are no clear principles for guiding action other than “act as a virtuous person would act given the situation.” Who is a virtuous person? Who is the first or universal exemplar?
Lastly, the ability to cultivate the right virtues will be affected by a number of different factors beyond a person’s control due to education, society, friends and family. If moral character is so reliant on luck, what role does this leave for appropriate praise and blame of the person? For the Eudaimonian, one ought to be born into a status of privilege if they wish to excel in being virtuous. For the proponent of an agent-based theory, one ought to be born into a society or family with good role models and preferably be raised by such, else they have no moral exemplars to emulate.
The New Testament's Virtue Ethic
The New Testament authors didn’t sit down and do a self-consciously philosophical exercise, for this was not what they were concerned with. They were concerned with giving practical instruction to disciples of the faith, and merely trying to express the ethical implications of their spiritual experience. That being said, we know the apostle Paul was familiar with the writings of Aristotle. We can actually identify places where Paul displays knowledge of Aristotle and incorporates some of the philosopher's ideas into his own epistles. Before we do this, however, it's important we refute common misnomers about what the Bible teaches concerning ethics in general.You probably have heard many attack the ethics of the New Testament as being primitive and simplistic. "God dictates universal commands to follow: 'do not lie,' do 'not divorce,' 'do not insult.' And the only motivating factor is escaping hellfire and obtaining the reward of eternal pleasure." But in reality, this is a gross misrepresentation of the ethics laid out in the NT. I will argue the NT advocates for a form of virtue ethics, instead of claiming the NT contains a form of deontic ethics, as it is so often assumed.
Elizabeth Anscombe was one of the most influential virtue ethicists of the 20th century. Her work helped to revive virtue ethics in the modern era, however she also criticized the ethics of the Bible for promoting a form of ethics different than what Aristotle promoted:
"...between aristotle and us came Christianity, with its law conception of ethics. For Christianity derived its ethical notions from the Torah. (One might be inclined to think that a law conception of ethics could arise only among people who accepted an allegedly divine positive law..." (Modern Moral Philosophy, vol. 33, no. 124, 1-19)
We've already dealt with the issue of the Torah in another post. The Torah is not laying down moral laws, but describing justice in the form of ancient Near Eastern wisdom literature. But does the New Testament teach a deontic form of ethics? Anscombe might appear justified in her claim, as some "Christian" theologians have explicitly taught the ethics of the NT is deontic.
However, other theologians have argued the ethics of the NT is best characterized as a form of virtue ethics. In a study of the NT, we'll support this notion. As noted earlier, one of the central features of this approach to ethics is that the aim of ethics should be on living a virtuous life. Other forms of ethics focus on directing actions when confronted with a moral dilemma, but for virtue ethics every action is a moral or immoral action because all of our actions contribute or do not contribute to living a virtuous life. In other words, for a virtue ethicist, everything we do will contribute to living a fulfilled life. Now, the NT promotes a similar idea with a slight modification. The NT changes the distinctictive function and purpose for man in Eudaimonism from "reasoning" to loving God and others instead, and thus "living well" is changed from self-centered 'flourshing' (as defined by Aristotle) to glorifying God instead. The apostles taught everything we do contributes to living a life that glorifies God:
"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."-1 Corinthians 10:31So we see the same idea in Paul, that everything we do can be seen as a moral or immoral action. Everything we do should be seen as contributing to living a life that glorifies god or not. As a believer, the aim is not just doing good actions to avoid punishments, but to see everything we do as glorifying God. On secular virtue ethics, all our actions are either advancing a good life or not: nourishing your body contributes to living a good life. In a Biblical context: taking the time to properly dress contributes to living a good life, and not giving into the sin of sloth. So all our actions can be moral actions in this context, and so likewise for Paul and Jesus, all we do can contribute to living a life that glorifies God.
"And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him."-Colossians 3:17
Since God made our bodies to thrive and enjoy life, we should nourish our bodies so we can thrive as God intended for our bodies to do, thus ultimately glorifying Him. Since we were created to experience and feel enjoyment, laughing and enjoying things throughout life glorifies God as well since we're experiencing emotions that God created to be experienced. Everything we do should be to glorify God, and often all that is is living our lives in the way that they were intended to be lived. Biblical ethics is very much more than merely performing right actions, but living a virtuous life that brings glory to God.
As Jesus said:
"Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind."-Matthew 22:37bIt is also important to focus on what it means to love, which is an important aspect of what it means to be a believer. Paul makes the radical claim that to love is the entirety of the law of God:
"For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."-Galatians 5:14Jesus also taught that to love God and love others were the two greatest commandments (Mark 12:28-31, Matt. 22:34-40). He also extends the commandment to love beyond one's brethren, and to love our enemies (Matt. 5:44). Loving those around us is central to what it means to be a believer (John 13:34; 15:12-17, Rom. 12:10; 13:8, 1 Cor. 13:1-8; 16:14, 2 Cor. 8:8, Eph. 4:2; 5:2, Phili. 1:9, Heb. 10:24, Jam. 2:8, 1 Pet. 1:22, 1 John 2:10; 3:23).
One might suggest this is no different than the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do to you," or a Kantian rule: "I ought never to act except in such a way that I could also will that my maxim should become a universal law." In other words, "to live well is to perform good deeds or actions and nothing more." But an important point about loving someone is it cannot be done through actions alone. For example, one could buy a gift for their spouse to cheer them up. However, one could perform this action merely because they value performing right actions without any love for the person. One could donate to charity because it is the right thing to do, and not because she cares for the people who would benefit. In such scenarios, they can be seen as idolizing moral laws, not necessarily caring about helping others.
But to love someone requires more than merely performing right actions. You cannot love someone and not care about who they are as a person and where they are heading in life. To love is to will the good of the other. Jesus chastised the Pharisees of his day for only performing right actions, but not loving their brethren in their hearts. His criticism follows Matthew chapter 22, where Jesus says the greatest commandments are to love. The implication is the Pharisees perform proper actions, but have the wrong motivations for doing so. James Keenan puts it like this:
"Essential to understanding this command is that we love our neighbors not as objects of our devotion, but rather as subjects; that is, as persons. Thus, we cannot love others only because God wants us to do so, since then we would love them as means or as objects and not as persons. We can only love one another as subjects, just as God loves us." (Jesus and Virtue Ethics: Building Bridges Between New Testament Studies and Moral Theology, pg. 86)
A critic may bring up that verses of the NT are still phrased as commands, and therefore the structure implies duties were the central aspect of Christian ethics. But the importance of duties is not foreign to Virtue Ethics. Instead of being central to the ethical framework, duties flow from a virtuous character. Virtues are active and have certain demands for which a person must fulfill in their active behavior.
According to Aristotle, knowledge of the virtues gives us practical wisdom in how to properly act. Duties flow from the understanding of the demands of virtues. To put it another way, for virtues to manifest in persons, they have certain demands that must be fulfilled. For the believer, the command of love flows from being virtuous and aligning oneself with the character of God. Commitment to the character of Christ, who perfectly carried out the will of the Father, allows us to perform right and proper actions.
The NT also contains lists of virtues the believer ought to emulate, the most famous of these is in Galatians chapter 5:
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law." (vss. 22-23)
Now, the connection with Aristotle cannot be more pronounced. The Greek phrase "against such there is no law" is almost identical to what we find in Aristotle's politics (3.13.1284a). It seems clear Paul is teaching a similar ethical framework to what Aristotle advocated for. Paul is teaching that the believing community ought to be persons who display key virtues, and that their conduct would not need to be regulated by a law. Instead, their character should be the standard others can measure themselves by. Romans chapter 2 is also a place we see references to Aristotle, where Paul notes that when Gentiles do what the law requires, they are "a law unto themselves" (vss. 14-15). In other words, they do not need to be told to act a certain way. They have the proper virtuous character that directs their actions, to do the good the law requires. Paul is advocating in Galatians that believers should think in a similar way.
So in Galatians 5, we have affinity with the teachings of Aristotle, and in other lists of virtues throughout the NT we see a similar idea, which is that Christians were meant to display virtues primarily (Rom. 5:3-5, 1 Cor. 13:1-8, Col. 3:12-17, 1 Tim. 3:2-3; 4:7-8, Jam. 3:17-18, 2 Pet. 1:5-8). From that, good deeds will properly manifest in our actions.
Anscombe made a great point on what the focus of ethics should be:
"It would be a great improvement if, instead of 'morally wrong', one always named a genus such as 'untruthful', 'unchaste', 'unjust'. We should no longer ask whether doing something was 'wrong', passing directly from some description of an action to this notion; we should ask whether, e.g., it was unjust; and the answer would sometimes be clear at once." (Modern Moral Philosophy, vol. 33, no. 124, 1-19)
Interestingly enough, Paul lays out a similar idea in explaining Christian ethics:
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you."-Philippians 4:8-9In other words, the central aspect on living a Christian life was on what is virtuous, not on what is lawfully right or wrong. Right actions flow from whatever is honorable, true, and pure. Correlating with this is how Paul responds to the Corinthians who claimed that "all was lawful." Paul reminded them the emphasis is not on what is lawful, but on what is good for building a virtuous character:
"All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not."-1 Corinthians 10:23One's main focus ought to be on what is good, not on laws that dictate behavior.
One of the key aspects of Virtue Ethics is the idea we ought to learn from virtuous teachers and imitate them. A virtuous character is obtained by imitating what a virtuous person does. This parallels a key aspect of Christian ethics. Imitating Christ was (and still is) crucial to living a virtuous life:
"For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:"-1 Peter 2:21Paul says in Romans 8:29 that Christians were predestined "to be conformed to the image of his Son." Jesus often taught his followers to do as he does (Matt. 16:24, Mark 8:34, Luke 6:40; 9:23, John 13:15, 34). Paul says in 1st Corinthians 11: Be ye followers [i.e., imitators] of me, even as I also am of Christ" (vs. 1). Hebrews 13:7 says to imitate the faith of the patriarchs. 1st Thessalonians 2:14 says to imitate each other. And jesus taught to imitate the good Samaritan from his parable (Luke 10:37). Imitating virtuous teachers was key for Christian ethics.
Aristotle tended to compare acquiring virtues with that of learning a practical skill, like playing an instrument or learning how to become a builder. Such practical skills are best picked up when trained by a master of that particular skill, because a teacher can always provide more insight through lessons they learn from experience. For example, an expert salesman can provide examples from his experience of what works with specific customers that a sales textbook could never provide. Many professions today require on-the-job training or experience before even hiring an applicant. The reason is: experience is key to learning a profession. Merely acquiring knowledge from a textbook or an instruction manual is often insufficient to master a skill, so why would mastering the skill of virtue be any different?
In the NT, a believer is to see the world through the eyes of Christ and to love as he loved. One cannot learn how to be a virtuous person without knowing what that life would look like. A key component of Christian theology is that the Messiah perfectly represented the Father and His will on earth, to show us how to properly live as God intended for man. This central tenet of the NT aligns well with agent-based theories of Virtue Ethics, and modifies it so that the person of Jesus Christ is the universal exemplar that one is meant to emulate. We are called to imitate him through our actions, thoughts, and desires, and to conform ourselves to the way he lived. As Paul said:
"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me."-Galatians 2:20If learning from Christ is key, we should briefly take a look at the Sermon on the Mount, which is said to be one of Jesus' most important series of teachings. Daniel Harrington notes:
"The sermon begins with nine 'beatitudes' (see 5:3–12) in which Jesus declares as 'happy' or 'blessed' those who practice certain virtues, and promises them an eternal reward and the fullness of God's kingdom." (Jesus and Virtue Ethics: Building Bridges Between New Testament Studies and Moral Theology, pg. 62)
Jesus laid out what a life for those that follow him look like in detail. One ought to be merciful, pure in heart, a peacemaker, thirst for righteousness, etcetera (Matt. 5:2-10). The Sermon does not merely include what right actions are, but includes sections on proper desires. Not only is it wrong to murder, but it is wrong to desire to murder or wish ill on someone (Matt. 5:22). Avoiding adultery is good, but one also should not covet after another man's woman in their heart (Matt. 5:28). In other words, merely avoiding immoral actions is not enough. One must also not desire vices. A believer is called to desire what is good.
The Sermon is not necessarily laying down universal moral commands. For example, Matthew 5:9 says, "Blessed are the peacemakers," but this doesn't imply absolute Pacifism, as it would contradict passages in the Old Testament where it explicitly says there is a time for war (Ecc. 3:8). The point of the Sermon is to teach what a virtuous life ought to look like. A follower of Christ ought to use reason to know what is proper to do in various circumstances. For example, in Matthew chapter 6, Jesus offers guidance on how one ought to pray by presenting the Lord's prayer (vss. 9-15). This is a model of how to pray. It's not a command for followers to always pray in this exact way.
In reality, the Sermon on the Mount mixes in exhortations, parables, hyperbole, declarations, commands, etc. It is best understood as displaying what a virtuous life ought to look like. It's not a law code. Building on this, it's important to understand a proper action is context sensitive. Under Virtue Ethics, one should not necessarily apply a universal maxim to every situation. Sometimes the proper action will depend on what is at stake, who is involved, what is the background, etc. Aristotle advocated against the idea there were fixed universal laws that dictate actions, and instead he argued the right action would depend on the circumstances one finds themselves in. Although the ethics of the NT may be a bit more strict, it still places an emphasis on being sensitive to the context of situations.
In 1st Corinthians chapter 8, Paul lays out instructions on how to deal with meat that has been sacrificed to Pagan idols. Instead of stating an absolute prohibition against meat sacrificed to idols, Paul instructed Christians to use reason to come to the proper ethical decision based on context. In other words, the right action is not determined only by a law. Instead, the Christian had to make the proper decision based on the context: if eating caused another to stumble, then you ought to abstain; if not, then there's no harm done. The value of the action depends on the context.
A Deontologist might reply that there's still a universal law given here: that one should always abstain if it's going to cause another to stumble. This objection can be addressed by asking: how are we to know if eating the meat will cause another believer to stumble? To answer such a question, one must be sensitive to the context, which in this case would be knowledge of the fellow believer and your relation to him. It is the context that determines the right action, not a universal law. Moreover, Paul states that the primary goal for the believer should be to love (1 Cor. 13). The first consideration is once again not the rightness of action, but having love for one another. From this, knowledge of the proper action will follow.
Paul often explains that living a proper life as a believer will take work and practice. He reminded Timothy to attend readings, practice what these things mean, and keep a close watch on himself (1 Tim. 4:13-14). Elsewhere, he directs that all believers must work on their faith (Phili. 2:12). Beyond this, he also noted that not all Christians would have the same gifts, and to accept that this was normal (1 Cor. 12). For some, certain things may be a hindrance, whereas for others it is acceptable (Rom. 14:2-4). What matters is that we love and build one another up (1 Thess. 5:11). Right actions flow from love and knowledge of virtue. Rules are not the primary motives that dictate our actions; rules are secondary in this regard.
An interesting case can be studied with regards to divorce in the Gospels. Jesus preaches against divorce (Mark 10:7-9) and it is often interpreted to mean "divorce is always wrong, regardless of circumstances." However, it should be noted the prohibition on divorce is not a universal law. The context can affect whether or not a divorce is permissible. Jesus says that one can divorce over sexual immorality. Paul also has a situation where divorce is permissible, namely if one spouse is an unbeliever and wishes to leave (1 Cor. 7:15). The implication one can derive is divorce is not ideal, but there are circumstances where it may be the proper action to take. Given the other features of Christian Virtue Ethics we already covered, the proper action to take will depend on the circumstances and what the virtuous agent thinks is the most loving thing to do. A universal prohibition on divorce is not a Christian ethic. Instead, one ought to discern the proper action from circumstances. However, it's clear in most cases divorce would not be the virtuous thing to do.
Building on this, it's important to note that within NT ethics, certain acts are always wrong. For example, idolatry and sexual immorality are always wrong (1 Cor. 10:14, Col. 3:15, 1 Pet. 4:13). There are no possible scenarios where it would be okay to rape, because such an act would never flow from a virtuous character. But this concept is not foreign to theories of Virtue Ethics. Aristotle noted that for some actions, no qualifications could make them virtuous. Actions such as rape or murder are always wrong, because they would never flow from a virtuous character. So it's not as if a Virtue Ethicist cannot claim that some actions are always wrong. They simply are qualified as being unable to flow from virtue, whereas actions like lying or waging war could be considered virtuous for the right reason.
Now, despite Christian Virtue Ethics having many similarities with Eudaimonism (Aristotelian ethics), there are also numerous differences beyond what we've already noted. One of the deficiencies of how Aristotle lays out his ethical theory is that it is essentially an all-boys club. Aristotle writes mainly to aristocratic men, excluding women and slaves. In his view, women were inferior to men and slaves lacked the necessary rational faculty. But the Christians rejected this mentality, as the teachings of Christ and the apostles were available to all (Matt. 28:19). Paul said, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus" (Gal. 3:28). Peter wrote that all Christians were part of the priesthood of Christ (1 Pet. 2:5). Jesus had women followers (Luke 8:2-3), and they were entrusted with delivering revelation (Mark 15:40–16:8). What we find throughout the NT is a radical change to how women were viewed in the ancient world. Paul is also likely building on Aristotle's household structure and refining it. David deSilva says the household codes of the NT are "...following the pairs laid out as early as Aristotle to such a degree as to suggest that these were standard topics in ethical instruction" (Honor, Patronage, Kinship & Purity, pg. 231). But Paul adds an important preface: submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ (Eph. 5:20-21). DeSilva says:
"...husbands, we cannot then ignore the distinctively Christian addition they bring to this arrangement; husbands are to be subject to their wives as well." (Honor, Patronage, Kinship & Purity, pg. 233)
Thus Paul doesn't break down the traditional perspective on the structure of the family, but he does add the idea that we all must submit to each other in reverence, love, unity, and cooperation because all are equal before God. There is no explicit mention in the NT calling for the abolishment of slavery, but it should be noted that Paul taught that slaves should be seen as equals. In the letter to Philemon, Paul is clear that his slave is no longer "as a servant, but above a servant, a brother beloved" (vs. 16). Thus, within Christian ethics class distinctions were supposed to evaporate. All were brothers and sisters of one family.
An important aspect of Christian ethics is that it wasn't a standalone ethical theory. It's embedded in the larger Christian worldview. The ethical framework is dependent on Christian doctrines. For Aristotle, his ethical theory is for men who were raised well. This is why these specific men desire to be virtuous and perform right actions. As for why the believer does good and desires to be virtuous, it's not because one was raised well, but because they have been activated by the power of God's Spirit (John 3:6, 1 Cor. 12:13). For believers, the reason as to why we desire to be good and virtuous is because the Spirit of God has regenerated us. He loves us so we can love others (1 John 4:19). One is meant to look to the life of Christ and what he has done by dying on the cross, to know that we are loved and forgiven. This in turn is meant to activate a good life, having seen what we have gained and been forgiven of. He calls and activates us to do similar to those around us. This is a more open system for people of all groups and classes. One only has to call upon the name of the Lord to be included. It does not require a specific gender or to be raised a certain way.
The goal of Aristotelian ethics is to achieve 'eudaimonia.' However, within the Bible the goal is as the Westminster Shorter Catechism puts it: "Man's chief end is to glorify God, and enjoy Him forever." Since the central aspect of Biblical Eschatology is that humans will continue on forever in resurrected bodies, the aim of ethics is more than living a good life presently. Living a good life now is important, but it was only one aspect in the Christian worldview. Humans are meant to live beyond this life, so the aim is also about building virtuous souls that will continue on. The importance of this is more crucial than it may seem at first. Paul said that we must all appear before judgment, so that "every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad" (2 Cor. 15:10).
Being a virtuous person requires integrity, because one will still have to answer to God after death. If one can commit an evil act and no one finds out, then from the outside perspective he or she may still appear virtuous. Culturally speaking, the ancient world was very different from our own. All wrongdoings centered around public honor and shame. One did good to receive public honor, and one did not do what was bad to receive public shame. Right and wrong were connected to one's public honor and shame in the ancient Greco-Roman world. Thus good and evil were public ideas, not personal ideas. Ethical demands were grounded in the community in one's public appearance
The Biblical idea of an omniscient God who cared about our ethical status laid a foundation for integrity and personal guilt to emerge. Now one ought to do good because he is beholden to God, not just the community. Believers are to remain focused on God's approval and on the actions that lead them, regardless of the world's response. This lays down fertile ground for integrity to emerge. So the Biblical worldview has another important element built in that encourages ethical behavior, regardless of the honor it brings. One ought to do good because of a commitment to God not, because it might bring honor to one's name publicly.
Implications for Preterists
Paul believed that the Second Coming would happen in his generation, and prescribed certain things in the NT on the basis of that belief. An example of an exhortation that would no longer apppy to us today would be 1st Corinthians 7:24-29, where Paul argues that the times him and his fellow Christians were in called for celibacy, being that the Lord was fast approaching. It wasn't a sin if you did get married, of course; it was just harder to serve the Lord in this context if you had a family to worry about. Thus, Paul encouraged being single.So, we need to be careful when reading the NT and determining what prohibitions or exhortations are still applicable to us today. Context is key.
2024.05.15 11:59 Pineapple_throw_105 Will I be able to love women again or am I condemned to eternal loneliness?
I have gone full circle in emotions towards women I what I mean is love-hate-emotioneless.
Despite being 26 I had a stage where I liked certain women I gave them compliments, went on dates, etc. but then things changed and I felt a dislike towards women I felt like they did not want to even casually talk to me and ran from me like I was the ugliest person in the world (I am definitely not), I started to dislike them and when I would see women happy with their men I would get bitter for not having that and disliked women for giving other men a chance but not me. I am now in a stage of no emotion. I see women not as something to love or dislike, but a person who is just there, I have no urges for anything. Today there was a couple (my age) that was kissing on the bus and despite feeling a little like they could have done that elsewhere I remembered how in the past I would have become bitter, but now it just went by.
What is next, its like this emotionelessness can be forever and I feel ok with it. I love being a bachelor, spending for myself and not compromising and yet a part of wants to answer the question will I love again?
submitted by Pineapple_throw_105 to lonely [link] [comments]
Despite being 26 I had a stage where I liked certain women I gave them compliments, went on dates, etc. but then things changed and I felt a dislike towards women I felt like they did not want to even casually talk to me and ran from me like I was the ugliest person in the world (I am definitely not), I started to dislike them and when I would see women happy with their men I would get bitter for not having that and disliked women for giving other men a chance but not me. I am now in a stage of no emotion. I see women not as something to love or dislike, but a person who is just there, I have no urges for anything. Today there was a couple (my age) that was kissing on the bus and despite feeling a little like they could have done that elsewhere I remembered how in the past I would have become bitter, but now it just went by.
What is next, its like this emotionelessness can be forever and I feel ok with it. I love being a bachelor, spending for myself and not compromising and yet a part of wants to answer the question will I love again?
2024.05.15 11:53 shaneka69 CANCER ZODIAC - UNEXPECTED INCOME! TAROT READING MAY 2024
CANCER ZODIAC TAROT READING - UNEXPECTED INCOME MAY 2024
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2024.05.15 11:50 Small-Swim2486 Discover Matte Satin Ceramic Black Car Vinyl Wrap: The Perfect Choice to Transform Your Vehicle's Look
Hey everyone!Today, I wanted to share with you all a recent discovery of mine in the realm of vehicle aesthetics: Matte Satin Ceramic Black Car Wrap. Whether you're looking to protect your beloved ride or give it a whole new appearance, this vinyl wrap might just be the solution you've been searching for.
Let's start with its appearance. The Matte Satin Ceramic Black wrap brings a unique matte finish to your vehicle, giving it an edgy and sleek aesthetic that's bound to turn heads on the road. It's not just about protection; it's about making a statement.
One of the standout features of this vinyl wrap is its ceramic coating. This coating not only adds an extra layer of protection to your car's paint but also enhances its durability, ensuring that your vehicle maintains its stunning look for longer periods.
But it's not just about looks and protection; it's also about versatility. The Matte Satin Ceramic Black wrap can be applied to various parts of your vehicle, from the hood and roof to the mirrors and even the interior trim. The possibilities are endless, allowing you to customize your ride to your heart's content.
Another noteworthy aspect is the ease of installation. Unlike traditional paint jobs, which can be time-consuming and costly, vinyl wrapping offers a quicker and more cost-effective solution. With the right tools and a bit of know-how, you can achieve professional-looking results right in your own garage.
In terms of maintenance, Matte Satin Ceramic Black wrap is a breeze to care for. Simply wash your vehicle as you normally would, avoiding harsh chemicals and abrasive materials, and your vinyl wrap will continue to look as good as new.
Overall, if you're looking to give your vehicle a makeover or simply want to protect it from the elements, Matte Satin Ceramic Black Car Vinyl Wrap is definitely worth considering. Its striking appearance, durability, and ease of installation make it a top choice for car enthusiasts and casual drivers alike.
So why wait? Transform your ride today with Matte Satin Ceramic Black Car Vinyl Wrap and hit the road in style!
submitted by Small-Swim2486 to u/Small-Swim2486 [link] [comments]
Let's start with its appearance. The Matte Satin Ceramic Black wrap brings a unique matte finish to your vehicle, giving it an edgy and sleek aesthetic that's bound to turn heads on the road. It's not just about protection; it's about making a statement.
One of the standout features of this vinyl wrap is its ceramic coating. This coating not only adds an extra layer of protection to your car's paint but also enhances its durability, ensuring that your vehicle maintains its stunning look for longer periods.
But it's not just about looks and protection; it's also about versatility. The Matte Satin Ceramic Black wrap can be applied to various parts of your vehicle, from the hood and roof to the mirrors and even the interior trim. The possibilities are endless, allowing you to customize your ride to your heart's content.
Another noteworthy aspect is the ease of installation. Unlike traditional paint jobs, which can be time-consuming and costly, vinyl wrapping offers a quicker and more cost-effective solution. With the right tools and a bit of know-how, you can achieve professional-looking results right in your own garage.
In terms of maintenance, Matte Satin Ceramic Black wrap is a breeze to care for. Simply wash your vehicle as you normally would, avoiding harsh chemicals and abrasive materials, and your vinyl wrap will continue to look as good as new.
Overall, if you're looking to give your vehicle a makeover or simply want to protect it from the elements, Matte Satin Ceramic Black Car Vinyl Wrap is definitely worth considering. Its striking appearance, durability, and ease of installation make it a top choice for car enthusiasts and casual drivers alike.
So why wait? Transform your ride today with Matte Satin Ceramic Black Car Vinyl Wrap and hit the road in style!
2024.05.15 11:44 Klutzy-Internet7919 Am I crazy to think my boyfriend (m22) is hiding something from me (f22)?
For context, we have been dating for a little over a year. I have had boyfriends and partners in the past and I am my boyfriends first. Also my past is extensive to say the least. We had an issue that continues to grow where my past is always apart of our arguments which is why I think it plays into what I am feeling currently. About 7 months ago I found a reddit account of his that was full of porn accounts of various things, mainly of femme men. I still remember a post that had a femme man on top of another man and caption read “i wish this was me”. When I asked him he broke down and was completely embarrassed, saying he is bored of normal porn. I have personally never liked porn and see it as something that isn’t beneficial, looking at other people and fantasizing of others when in a committed relationship seems very wrong to me. I expressed this feeling and boundary to him and he then proceeded to unfollow people on instagram, tiktok and from what I knew delete his reddit account. But 2 weeks ago I found another reddit account created a week after we just had our fight. From which he said that “he couldn’t delete it because he forgot the email linked to it”. Which I don’t know if that is true because when he goes on reddit normally that account isn’t on it which means he logs into it when he wants to use it. My main issue is why would he say he deleted the original porn account and create another one and say he deleted it. On the account I just found he also had a draft reddit post but to sum that post up it was basically how he can never get over my past and he doesn’t know if he can marry me (he is also Muslim which I also think this plays a part in it, he’s not a traditional muslim hence our relationship but his family is very religious).
This whole new fight happened when we were both drunk, I ended up leaving his place because it was getting nowhere, we just kinda never resolved it and are acting like it is completely normal. It eats me alive every day because he is leaving to go back home for the summer and then off to grad school in another state. I don’t know where to go with this, I love him. Every fight I have it always ends up with me asking can you ever get over my past and he always answers I don’t know if you never had a past you’d be the perfect girl. So I don’t know if I’m just going crazy over nothing or if he is hiding his true feelings and i don’t know if i should just get over the whole porn thing or what. I just feel defeated because I love him and feel as though i’m heading towards a wall.
TL;DR! - I think my boyfriend is hiding something from me based on his porn habits and a draft post I found on his secret porn account stating that he didn’t know if he could marry me because of my past.
submitted by Klutzy-Internet7919 to relationships [link] [comments]
This whole new fight happened when we were both drunk, I ended up leaving his place because it was getting nowhere, we just kinda never resolved it and are acting like it is completely normal. It eats me alive every day because he is leaving to go back home for the summer and then off to grad school in another state. I don’t know where to go with this, I love him. Every fight I have it always ends up with me asking can you ever get over my past and he always answers I don’t know if you never had a past you’d be the perfect girl. So I don’t know if I’m just going crazy over nothing or if he is hiding his true feelings and i don’t know if i should just get over the whole porn thing or what. I just feel defeated because I love him and feel as though i’m heading towards a wall.
TL;DR! - I think my boyfriend is hiding something from me based on his porn habits and a draft post I found on his secret porn account stating that he didn’t know if he could marry me because of my past.