With the recent update and the free enclave stuff, I decided to do a survival run only using heavy weapons and power armour. It has started off being incredibly difficult especially since I thought 1 int was the way to go. Ammo weight is a consistent issue but should get easier as I level up. I had a few tricks that have really helped.
First thing I did was sneak to far harbour. This was not an easy trip but I made it there without fighting. I bought a harpoon gun from Brooks to fight off the gulpers. Once Allan was available, I bought the admirals friend (think that's what it's called. the instigating harpoon gun) then I sneaked all the way to arcadia for the sergeant ash flamer for close combat. I then went to the green vim t-51 armour and headed back to the commonwealth.
Harpoon ammo is incredibly heavy so I could only carry 200 rounds with my power armour. Flamer fuel is actually quite light but easy to burn through. 1000 units only weighs 9 pounds so it's become a staple weapon. With grape mentats, I just trade out the ammo I don't need for flamer fuel and cryo cells. Better to have a surplus early considering how expensive cryo cells are.
I've just made hangman's alley my base so I'm keeping my excess items and ammo there for now. So far I'm level 14. Idiot savant I chose at maybe level 4 has really helped me level up super quick just from unlocking new locations and the few fights I've been in. I came across 2 deathclaws on my way back from far harbour but they were a piece of cake with sergeant Ash.
My plan is to get the special bobbleheads I need, head to the glowing sea to get the tesla cannon then maybe start the big dig for the ashmaker minigun. Last weapon I'll need is the cryolator. Then I'll probably Do nukaworld for the neverending gattling laser later on. I'm crossing my fingers I can get an explosive or bleeding minigun. Even plasma infused would be insanely fun.
Once all that is done I'll consider the run complete. If I'm not bored, I'll probably continue the character, spec into melee and intelligence and take over the commonwealth with the raiders.

Hi, I want to start playing Final Fantasy XIV but there a lot of things I have been reading.
So I started playing the free trial for an hour but I have some questions.
If I have the free trial and claim the free month from Game Pass I lose the free trial right? And if I lose the free trial I need to play a suscription and Game Pass? Both of them?
If I like the game and I buy the complete version from the store do I still need a suscription from Final Fantasy XIV? And do I also need to pay Game Pass to have Gold and play online?
I'm interested in the game but that sounds like a lot of money monthly. Thanks in advance and sorry for bad English.

Why should I have to work my ass off and lick some stuck up manager’s butthole for a few coins when there’s people out there that get to explore the world and experience things I could only dream of. Living lives free of suffering and only fun and prosperity all because they were born attractive and tall and into a super rich family.
There’s such a big wide beautiful world out there and most people don’t see a quarter of it and live menial lives paycheck to paycheck, but the pigs at the top get to party all the time and have all the fun, eating luxurious and exotic foods, traveling to different countries, exploring new cultures, partying, etc.
Yet there’s people in shitty mud huts in Africa and nobody gives a shit about them, people fighting for scraps of bread. Life is far too unfair to not be entitled. You should be entitled because you were born in shit compared to what you could’ve been born into, you could’ve had the entire world at your finger tips.

25 Male seeking female. Location: US/Canada Must be: Not a psychopath, You definitely have to be able to make me laugh! That's a big one 🥰 Open minded. Dark sense of humor. Loyal. Honest. Good communication. Good with prioritizing. A woman with an inner child. Non-narcissitic traits. Monogamy. Mindful. Empathetic. Sympathetic. Understanding and affectionate.
If you have an avoidant attachment style then we won't work out
It is VERY important that you be CF. You should not possess any C yourself. I better not find any hidden in your house, or anywhere else for that matter. I stand with the CF movement. I'm CF myself due to medical conditions, be mindful of that!!! You may hate that because of your own experiences, don't project that onto me. Don't be a narc and twist your strings onto me. I will literally explode if you do that as I'm CF. I do not do well with it and will have to take lactaid. Fuck cheese honestly. Be cheese free.
Please do not DM me if you ever had cheese in your life. I'm sick and tired of people bringing their cheesiness burdens onto my lives and I'm no longer a priority cuz they need to have a cheese fondue night and do not prioritize me instead. This is a bash on cheese, I am cheese free and I only mentioned it cuz I or no one can guarantee that I won't die of intolerance. I'm CF but cheese is optional, what's wrong with that? You don't think people change their minds when they find their true love for blue cheese? Maybe it's best that you're cheese free as being a lactose intolerant person, you're mentally ill and fucked up for bashing on cheese when it's not it's fault some boomer decided to ferment cow cum.
Yes I am cheese free, but you're right I'm not a potential cow manhandler. You all hate cheese and give vibes that you'd kill the cows off to live a peaceful life. You are disgusting. Please do not hate me for my opinions just cuz you don't get it and you know you're wrong. There's no need to be rude cuz you feel rejected.
I'm cheese free cuz I want to make my own cheese, not eat yeeyeeass Kraft and I'm hoping someone here is in the same position <3
If I posted something about me that you don't like please just move on to the next person, no need to be mean. No need to get upset or flustered, it takes awhile to find someone who's worth it. If your future plans or paths don't meet up, there's no need to get mad or say mean things just move on to the next person

Okay I know how this sounds, but hear me out first. Buckle in it’s gonna be a long one. My boyfriend, R (23M) and I, CK (24F) been together a little over a year and a half although it certainly hasn’t always been easy, we get along pretty well. My only complaint is that he is nice, too nice. He always bends over backwards for people who don’t deserve it AKA, his family.
My boyfriend is in college, drives a beater car, and works part time and a convenience shop, so to say he is broke is kind of an understatement. That doesn’t matter to me though, because I love him madly. This relationship is the most constructive and healthy connection I have ever been in. Anyway, we both live at home because rent prices, among other things are way too expensive. My boyfriend loves his family. It’s one of the qualities that really attracted me to him, because I do not have a good relationship with my own family. Although it was endearing at the start, I now think they are taking advantage of him.
He is a personal chauffeur to his unappreciative little sister. He is constantly cutting our time short to go take her to hair appointments that he pays for, work, school, shopping, and anywhere else she wants to go without any notice for FREE. I don’t think I have ever heard her say thank you to him. Half of the time we are together when she calls him so he has to use my car to take her places. More of the same with his parents, when they call he magically transforms into an InstaCart shopper or a DoorDasher before my eyes (cue eye roll.) They also think we spend too much time together, so they have recently enacted a curfew which I think is outrageous considering he is a 23 year old MAN and he does so much for them. All they do is command him to do things, and he does it no questions asked.
His birthday was last week right before Mother’s Day. Unsurprisingly, no one in his household bought him a present for his birthday. I, of course, got him a gift and a mini cake for his birthday to make him feel special and appreciated since he does a lot for me and my son. He took it home and placed in the fridge and jokingly said “I hope no one eats it.” When he said that it absolutely ticked me off, and of course a day later before he could even have a piece, they demolished it. I know it may seems minor but, his family has a habit of taking things from him without permission. For context, one Christmas I bought him a set of cologne and planned the two of us a trip for new years. We had an amazing time together and it really solidified that this is what I wanted in a relationship. Long story short, we came back from our trip, he went into his room to see that the very expensive cologne I bought him was now missing. My heart sank when he told me this. I told him straight up he needs to stand up for himself and if this continues he is allowing them to continue this behavior. But as always he turned it into a joke.
Anyway, we had plans today. We were both off work, which is rare. We haven’t really had much time to celebrate his birthday from last week because like I said previously he works at a convenience store and has crazy hours, while I work a 9-5 as well as caring for my son who is in Pre-K. We have both been raving about a posh little restaurant downtown that we have wanted to go to for quite some time now. I wanted to make a reservation for lunch because I knew for sure his sister and my son would be in school, so we were completely free for a little while. I mean it sounds like it would all work out right? WRONG. It never does.
His sister typically gets out of school at 3:30 PM then she goes home to get dressed for work and needs to be dropped off there around 4:00-5:00 PM. Keeping this in mind I set our reservation for 12:30 PM. Anyway we get there a bit late, but we were still able to be seated and our lunch went well. We were near a mall with time to spare, so we decided we would stop by to window shop. We walked around for a bit and the time flies by. Suddenly it was 2:30 PM his sister goes absolutely crazy and blows his phone completely up. I asked him was everything okay and did we need to leave since we drove my car there together. He insisted everything was fine and we continued our shopping. I curiously asked him what time he planned to leave and he said we would go at 3:00 which was fine with me.
We lost track of time and we ended up leaving later than intended at about 3:15 PM, but we were only about 20 minutes away and we wouldn’t have her waiting very long. As we’re driving she is still going crazy blowing his phone up constantly asking where he was as he was driving. I was getting annoyed because we were going to go and get her in my car, when she’s so unappreciative of her brother and his efforts to keep her happy and to help her. I held my tongue though because I could hear the agitation increase within his voice as they spoke and I felt as if I would only make things worse. My boyfriend is very sweet and it isn’t often that he gets angry, so she was really pushing his buttons.
She called him a whopping 10 times during a 20 minute drive, and at one point they had a screaming match on the phone and he told her, “You knew I was busy and not at home, why didn’t you ask one of our parents to get you if you wanted to be picked up without having to wait?” Their house is only 8 minutes away from the school so I was beyond ticked off and annoyed at this point. When we finally arrived at her school admittedly a little late, she is nowhere to be found. We waited for a while for her and he called to see where she was, apparently she caught a ride from a friend to be dropped off at her aunts house. The rage I felt in that moment was unparalleled. If they could take you to your aunts house why didn’t they take you home?!
Anyway within the commotion I asked him to swing by my son's school so we could pick him up. I then asked him which one would “come first” purely referring to the geographic location of each person considering I didn’t want him to waste any more of my own gas. I guess I used the wrong choice of words.
He replied to me with something that stung me down to the core. He said, “My sister and my family will always come first.” He saw the surprised and hurt look on my face and quickly added, “but this is your car we can go get him first.” I was taken aback by that statement. I understand that family is blood related, but these people do not respect your time, privacy, hell even your freedom. After he said that the rest of the car ride was a blur and I truly felt like I was overreacting at first. We planned to take my son to the park after we dropped his sister off but I ended up telling him I didn’t feel well and we had to cancel. I’m at a loss here guys. Do I have any right to feel hurt by what he said to me? I mean this is the man I planned on creating a family with, becoming old with. Now I’m not so sure. Help me out here and lmk if I am the A-Hole.

Alright, let's get it out of the way already. Considering how Sadira's own mental had been going in the last few months with all the problems she has been dealing with, one should question if making herself available to solve other people's problems was a good idea. And well, you would be correct being worried about it.
Camp Half-Blood had been relatively peaceful as of late, no conflicts that where Sadira had to intervene at all except for some incidents here and there, and well, it was not like people were coming to her anyways. At least, not as the Mediator. Which, in hindsight, is a very good thing. Camp was already chaotic enough without conflict and drama, petty or serious, but still, it did make her feel... a little useless... and like she wasn't doing enough with her position.
This combination of things is what made the daughter of dreams decide to open her mediation once again. Sure, depending on what kind of services people ended up needing, sye might even regret this, but hey, it's her job. As long as certain people didn't show up, everything would go smoothly as far as she was concerned. Assuming people actually showed up, that is. If there was something Sadira had learned I'm her time as the Mediator, she knew there were a lot of people in camp who didn't really talk about their problems, but admist all the new arrivals at camp and such, surely there would some people who needed someone to talk to.
Once again, Sadira re-used her signs and plastered them around camp, advertising Sadira's mediation services, which reax
"Is something or someone bothering you? Do you need any sort of advice? Are you looking for an unbiased opinion? Or just someone to hang out with?
If yes, come to the Oneroi Cabin and talk to Sadira Andersen, the Camp Mediator!
Don't want to talk directly? That's perfectly valid! Feel free to ask for advice through the Advice Column, if you prefer
STRICT CONFIDENTIALITY GUARANTEED!"
Sadira, as a person, generally preferred to talk to people outside, where there was fresh air and and people could feel less restrained and more relaxed to talk, but considering the nature of her services, it wasn't the best idea. Which is why she decided to use the Morpheus wing of Cabin 41 instead. It was calm, relaxing and cozy, and she lived there alone anyway. It had worked before, so there was no reason that it would not work again now.
Once the campers in need arrive at said cabin, they'd find the Morpheus door unlocked, and Sadira would be inside, sitting in a comfortable chair with another comfortable chair in front of her, with a little table in between for snacks and drinks, just in case.
Now she just had to wait and see, and pray that nobody decided to make her life difficult for no reason, unlike last time.

Credit for original idea goes to VoodooOprah, I just tweaked it
The Oath of Ambition calls to those paladins who strive for power above all other things and who let nothing stand in their way. Each paladin's motivation will be different. Some wish to use the power they aspire to to better their homeland, write fair laws, and ensure equality, while others simply want power for its own sake, so that their will might be brought upon the world. Often called gilded knights or turncloak knights, you may find these warriors in the halls of nobility, petitioning the court and maneuvering around their political rivals, or in the battlefield, leading bands of warriors in an effort to overthrow a ruling class.
Above all, these paladins are pragmatists, using whatever method they deem necessary to achieve their goals. They will lie, cheat, scheme, and betray if it serves them at that moment. Though those who have taken this oath may espouse the virtues of liberty or justice, and sincerely believe in them, they will just as quickly poison an innocent man, or ruin one's life with a well placed word. For these knights, all means are justified by the ends.
Tenets of Ambition
The tenets of the Oath of Ambition hold the paladin's own goals above all else. They care not for morality or ethics, which only serve to hamper their plans.
Strive for Greatness. I shall always search for opportunities to better my station. Through power I can achieve my goals.
Seize the Opportunity. When a crisis presents itself, I shall use it. When a foe shows weakness, I shall exploit it.
Suffer no Rivals. I know the value of an ally, but I shall not hesitate to destroy them should they seek to subvert me.
Stymie the Opposition. I shall strike down any who threaten my dream without mercy or hesitation. Remorse and regret are for the weak of mind.
Oath of Ambition Spells per Paladin Level
3rd disguise self, hex 5th invisibility, suggestion 9th enemies abound, slow 13th confusion, freedom of movement 17th skill empowerment, steel wind strike
Ambition's Celerity: You can use your Channel Divinity to move quickly. As a bonus action, you can enhance your speed. When you use this feature, and then as a bonus action on each of your subsequent turns, you can take the Dash action. This effect lasts for one minute.
Turn Traitor: You can use your Channel Divinity to draw someone to your cause. As an action, you can whisper a magical phrase to a creature within 10 feet of you that shares a language with you and can hear you. That creature must make a Wisdom saving throw, and does so with advantage if you are fighting it. If it fails its saving throw, it is charmed by you for 1 minute, or until you or your allies attack it, damage it, or force it to make a saving throw. The charmed creature regards you as a friendly acquaintance. While charmed, the creature must speak truthfully. When the effect ends, the creature doesn't know why it held you in such regard or made such a slip of the tongue. If it succeeds on its saving throw, the creature knows you tried to enchant it.
Aura of Haste: At 7th level, your presence invokes a desire to act. You gain a +10ft bonus to your base movement speed, and you and friendly creatures within 10 feet are immune to difficult terrain while you are conscious.
At 18th level, the range of this aura increases to 30 feet.
Divesting Strikes: Starting at 15th level, your holy attacks strip an enemy of their vigor and bestows it to you. Once per turn, when you hit a creature with a divine smite, (including spells such as wrathful smite, banishing smite, etc.) you regain hit points equal to 1d4 + your Charisma modifier, unless your modifier is negative.
King of Longing: At 20th level, you gain the ability to physically manifest your ambition. For 1 minute, a shadowy aura follows you in a 30 foot radius while illusory black wings sprout from your back. You gain a flying speed equal to twice your current movement speed, and the area is lightly obscured for all but you and your allies. (This obscurity cannot be dispelled by magical or nonmagical means). Any attacks against you or your allies have disadvantage while within the aura. Additionally, attacks of opportunity cannot be taken against you.
Using an action, a creature within the aura can make a Wisdom (Perception) check against the Paladin's Spell Save DC in order to see through the veil. If a creature succeeds this check, it is immune to the obscuring and disadvantage effects of this feature for its remaining duration.
Once you use this feature, you cannot use it again until you finish 1d4 long rests.

Hello everyone, by the title it’s definitely not my proudest thing to ever put on here. I’m a STEM student who in highschool, has never studied chemistry and physics nor, didn’t cheat during any tests or exams in highschool. But as soon as I went university, everything plummeted I guess. I’m still 6 months ish fresh into university and am highly disappointed in myself that I have to cheat on weekly tests just to make myself feel better by passing the test. And tbh, i’m genuinely concerned for myself, because normally I wouldn’t do such a thing and i’m scared of this pressing on my grades forever.
I got asked today if i was cheating and bluntly said “huh, no?” and just went on with practicing our test. This was probably the first time in 3 weeks I hadn’t cheat on a test, and the prqctice test was nothing like the questions which made it even worse for me. I always prepared beforehand practicing the questions, but suddenly mid-test Id always blank out and freak out, thus ending up resulting in cheating.
The thought of cheating disappoints me so much, so I want to change it as quick as I can before it becomes a habit. I’m so stressed out of my mind, and the subject i’m cheating in is physics. Don’t know if that makes it worse or better, but i’m completely terrible. I try my best but I just always get overwhelmed and panic and don’t know what’s wrong with me.
If anyone has any advice which can help me, please do! I considered getting a tutor but my tutor flaked on me so… 😅 don’t know where to turn too… :/

hi everyone! this is my first time posting so forgive me if i do something wrong! im a college student (computer science major) from brazil looking to meet new people! i love talking to people from all over the world, and learning about different cultures! i've always wanted a penpal so i thought i should give this a go!
a little bit about me, im a total bookworm, love watching movies and listening to all kinds of music! ! im not really picky when it comes to communication but i thought direct messaging was the most convenient (and what most people here choose). i would love a long term thing, im mostly just looking for a new friend :) !
feel free to reach out if you're interested!!

I just want to start this off by saying that I am trying to be better. I think about her a lot even to this day. Im 28 now but back when I was 23, I was in a very abusive relationship with a woman I had also dated in high school. It started off good, we were madly in love, we did everything together, and everything seemed to be set in place. Or so I thought. She started cheating on me, and would verbally abuse me by saying she didn’t find me attractive, but just settled for me. I started drinking on a daily basis. Between a shitty job and an abuse relationship, I was slowly declining mentally, gaining weight by eating. I was miserable but I stayed with her cause I just didn’t want to be alone. Then one day she ended things, and I was devastated. I don’t know why. I should’ve left the first time we ended things. Turns out she was cheating on me with this loser who was also cheating on his girlfriend with my ex. When I learned this, like any piece of shit guy, I decided to get revenge, and I didn’t care how. I befriended her on a social media platform, and we struck up a conversation about how our exs were with one another, and how it hurt. Even typing this I already know I’m an evil creature. We started hanging out but all I cared about was hooking up with her to send a message. I stopped talking to her when she wouldn’t. It’s fucked up that that made me mad cause I had no right to. I was basically using her for some useless petty bullshit. She had every right to reject me. I respected her no but cut off communication with her completely. Karma came back to bite me in the ass cause someone shouted out asshole few weeks later and they threw garbage at me (obviously I deserved it) I wish I didn’t befriend that girl, cause I always had a sneaky suspicion that I ruined that poor girls life. Please feel free to call me a piece of shit cause I’ll never stop feeling regret. I do just want to say: I truly am sorry, that I not only took advantage of your feelings for me, but that I then ghosted you. My words are meaningless when I hide behind a screen, but I never stopped thinking about the way I treated you.

for context: my bf(22) and I (f20) have been together for a year and a half now and there’s already been some stuff that has happened and now i’m left questioning everything. I need advice
We are still together and I really love him, and can’t imagine life without him. I genuinely feel like he’s my soul mate but I did the unthinkable. I cheated. And the reason was so out of character and toxic, I used to hate cheaters and the idea of it made me sick and I still really do regret it and wish nothing ever happened. There was a reason I did it but I don’t think it’s even justifiable anymore.
It all started a few months ago when I received a message from a girl with screenshots that he’d made a new dating profile and was messaging/sexting other girls. I felt so hurt and betrayed but didn’t want to end the relationship there. He was remorseful and I forgave him, but in return it just made me want to make him feel the way I did (hurt people hurt people kinda thing, stupid i know) and so I was just hurting for a few weeks.
I downloaded a dating app, firstly just to see if he was on there but some guy added me and we spoke for a few days, we had a few convos about boring stuff but I got drunk and went to his house. That’s when I cheated, it’s fucking disgusting I know. The following day I texted my boyfriend confessing what I did and said we should break up as what I did was the worst thing anyone could do to someone but we met up that day and talked things through. He decided that he’d give me a second chance and that we’d work through it together and are still together to this day.
It’s been a few weeks and I really don’t want to lose him but I don’t want to hurt him even more than I have done. I know deep down in my heart and soul I’ll never cheat again, but I just need advice please. I love him so much.
Thanks for reading.

I (31F) and my husband (34M) have been together for 7 years now and 7 months ago we had a kid and I gave birth to our daughter.
It took 16 hours and I can for sure say that it was the worst pain and discomfort I have ever felt in my life. Pretty much right after I gave birth to her he asked the doctor how long it would take before I could have sex again which is probably a red flag I should have seen sooner. When we came home he was pretty withdrawn but I thought that maybe being a dad was just new to him and that he would be back to normal soon.
After 2 days of him acting like this he sat me down and said that we needed to talk about something. He told me that just because I can’t have sex doesn’t mean that he should have to suffer because of it and that we should have an open relationship. I think that if he did this before in the relationship I would have broken up with him instantly but because of the fact that we just had our daughter and because I didn’t want her to grow up with divorced parents like I did I said yes to it.
Not even a few days later he started going out with a coworker who I have questioned him about having a crush on earlier. The only thing that I did for 6 months was pretty much taking care of our daughter and crying. I was a complete mess and the only thing that was keeping me alive was my beautiful daughter. It was at this time when his coworker broke things off with him after she got back with her ex. I was pretty happy about this because it meant that he would be more involved in our daughters life so that I would have less stress.
Since he was home most of the time now I decided to get on dating apps so that I could have a break from dealing with all the stress of being home all the time and raising a baby. I was pretty surprised by the amount of matches I got especially when my husband had complained to me earlier about how he basically had no matches on dating apps. I found a pretty handsome guy on there who was 41 and we agreed to go on a date. I didn’t tell my husband about this until the night of the date when he asked me why I was dressing up.
I told him about the date and he became hysterical. He told me that I was cheating on him and that I never loved him if I did this to him. I pointed out to him how stupid he was acting because of the fact that he was the one who suggested an open relationship in the first place. He was just shouting at me not to go but I went regardless and I had a great time on the date. Since then for a month I have been going out with him and my husband has been begging me to end this and to get back into a closed relationship.
I feel kind of bad for making him feel like this but at the same time I feel like he is only getting some deserved karma so that’s why I am looking for advice here. So AITAH here?

Hi all Looking for Ace dating and friends, cause the world is lonely. Currently in New York, but I'm ok with long distance and eventually travelling. I'm 32 and a Libra
Some things I like are Harry Potter (Ravenclaw), my dream is to go to Wizarding World Universal. Love comics, card games, travelling I really wanna visit the UK! I also love film (horror and thrillers are my fave genres). Big fan of anime as well, my current favorite being Jujutsu Kaisen, SpyxFamily and all time fav is Death Note.
Fav shows: Avatar the Last Airbender, Seinfeld, Arcane, Batman the Animated series, Breaking Bad, Interview with the Vampire, and many more!
As for physical appearance, I'm African American, 6'0" and average build.
There's alot more but I don't wanna ramble, feel free to chat or message!

Beginnings, I’m terrible at them. But you know what? What’s the beginning of a person? Parents. Hoarah Loux, founder and leader of the Crucible Knights. A true champion of the Crucible. Warrior King of the Golden Lineage. Husband of Marika, a less-than-true God risen from the Crucible. Marika, possessor of the Elden Ring, founder of the previous order, the Golden Order (current order is Golden Order Fundamentalism, not that this but is at all relevant to the point and thus can be entirely ignored, it’s the next paragraph that actually begins the stuff.. I guess). A trickster god, veil wielder, bestower of blessings.
Three children are known to have been born from the joining of these two great beings. One, Godwyn, lay half dead beneath the Lands Between. Another, Mohg, guards a giant, withered, living but lifeless body beneath the Lands Between. Third, Morgot, bears the frightful visage of the omen as he raises phantom and barrier to hide the greatest secret of the Lands Between.
It is this third child, Morgott, twin of Mohg, who hides the greatest secret of the Lands Between. Once, Morgott was to be called the Veiled Monarch but this, it seems, was a little too obvious. Grace-Given then. He was said to be born an omen along with his twin, Mohg. He pulled from himself his cursed omen blood and made it into a sword. His devotion to the Erdtree was supposedly never rewarded and yet he stands as King of Leyndell, de factor head of the Golden Order, and was seemingly given grace.
He creates a phantom of himself to guard the decrepit Godrick under the name Margit, deploys the Nights Cavalry, controls and corrupts a commoner to spook us away from the Capitol, raises a phantom of Godfrey, raises a phantom of Mohg, raises a barrier to prevent passage to Deeproot Depths, raises a barrier to prevent passage to the Mountaintops of the Giants.
Then we kick Morgott’s actual butt and his life’s work comes to an end. The truth is freed from obscurity. The first truth, Morgott is not an omen. His body shows no sign of horns, it is just withered and decayed, aged beyond the limits of natural life. How could this be? The omen image was either an illusion or the curse just ended when he died. I’ll cancel out the second one first, we don’t see this with other omen and while he could be a special case, I don’t think this is what happened.
So, his omen appearance was an illusion. But when was the illusion made? Perhaps, when Morgott’s purged his omen blood he was freed from the curse, this could also be when he was made Grace-Given. Then, to show a lack of resentment, he donned a mimic-veil or other similar Marika related magic to honor his cursed origin. But no traces of horns or tail… so maybe curse cures completely undo everything? Or maybe the horns and tail were never grown, because he was not an omen. He was veiled at birth or in early youth.
For the sake of clarity, I suggest one possible series of answers.
Who would do this and who knew/knows?
Obviously, Marika and Godfrey were both behind the deception, that’s how Godfrey recognizes that corpse as Morgott and another thing that makes Marika mischievous. Morgott also knows and is a willing participant in the deception. Mohg, Radagon. Potentially Godwyn, Ranni, Miquella. More depending on conspiracy connections.
Is Mohg also not an omen?
I do not know if this deception has implications for Mohg, I suspect so.
Why would Morgott be chained in the sewer even though he wasn’t really an omen?
Maybe, he wasn’t.
Ok, Morgott is not an omen. So what?
Morgott was given a truly important duty, he was to prevent the powers that be from finding out what Marika was truly doing, specifically, what was being done underground and with the roots of the Greattree/Erdtree.
The culture through which Marika and Godfrey acquired power was a crucible celebrating culture, omen were blessed to them or so we are led to believe. They were never saints, they just happened to be on the losing side of a war. Marika foresaw the destruction of her people and instead of direct opposition, she infiltrated her enemy.
We know she seems dedicated to whatever she is ultimately after, no act is off the table and no truth is above being lied about. Omen would be demonized under the Golden Order, those who would serve as guards to the big secret would guard Marika’s access route to her allies, the sewers beneath Leyndell. Sadly, not every citizen serves the clandestine plan with full knowledge of how they serve.
The Omen Twins were unknown for most of history, it seems, as far as their lineage. Morgott, in passage between surface and subsurface, would don the guise of an omen. He was always concealed from the public when in Leyndell, even his name and royal status. Sort of works into how he knew how to make those Sentry Torches and why he was almost called the Veiled Monarch.
I have no current explanation for the shackles. Real tokens bound to a false narrative people developed based on bits of the truth coming to light through the ages.
Anyways, so what is going on underground? Something is being done with the Greattree/Erdtree roots. I posit that the Greattree is like a quacking aspen, one tree with a massive root network from which multiple stalks grow and appear to be a forest but is really just one tree. The Erdtree is one stalk of the Greattree. The other stalks were destroyed one way or another. Minor Erdtrees grow from the same roots structure.
Erdtree Seeds, as we find them, sprout phantom trees. They launched from the Erdtree when Marika shattered the Elden Ring. We use them to enhance our grace juice in magic jars. The seeds were thought not to exist because they don’t, well, they are not seeds. They are grace broken off of the Elden Ring and packaged for our collection and use.
So what’s going on with the roots? Compare the surface and subsurface maps and you see the root structures that seem to fit the Erdtree and Minor Erdtrees are a little off. This misalignment is intended. Recall, the Erdtree is no longer connected to the roots of the Greattree. I suggest this was in response to the half-dead Godwyn being buried in the Erdtree/Greattree roots and infecting them with deathblight. To slow the spread of deathblight, the tree(s) was(were) cut from the roots. Perhaps a literal shifting of the land or a cut and replant type situation. This could partially play into the tilt of the Erdtree.
What leads me to this thought? The roots holding the Death-Prince are too small to be the Erdtree’s main root stalk but not that of a Minor Erdtree. And wouldn’t you know it, that half-dead Minor Erdtree with the deathblight wielding omen and his bodies is just about right over the Death-Prince root.
So when Godwyn’s soul was slain and his living body was placed in the roots, this Minor Erdtree was already growing from them. More, his living body was grafted into the roots. So now, is Morgott’s Margit the Fell phantom just guarding that pathetic Godrick? No. He’s observing and/or guarding grafting and it’s connection to the Greattree Roots and Godwyn. Measuring the reach of the deathblight maybe. I’m not entirely certain on the details, just the basic point, it’s his job.
Maybe something to do with runes and eyes and why the relic beneath Stormveil has no eyes. Runes are soul magic, deathblight is dead soul magic, remove the eyes, remove the soul/dead soul.
Back to the Death-Prince and why was he grafted to the roots? To honor him? To kill the whole system of rune harvesting for the Elden Beast? To preserve and/or revive Godwyn? Something like Miquella and the Haligtree?
(Something related but not specifically part of this: The Mending Rune of the Death-Prince is literally the Death-Prince and Fia’s souls ((in part)) bound into a Great Rune. One way to make Great Runes is the entire point of Deathbed Companions. Great Runes can literally be entities… like the Elden Beast… the Deathbed Companions are not necessarily the only way to make Great Runes, the Forge of the Giants and some kind of great sacrifice like the burning of massive grace filled tree stalks and ice dragons could be another way…)
Speaking of Miquella, the prevalent belief is that Miquella and Godwyn were great buds or whatever, right? Mohg is depicted carrying Miquella and a giant cocoon in the opening. Clearly, that cocoon is too big for that little body. We also see a possible double womb in the Haligtree. Perhaps, Mohg took Miquella and a second, unready, body. This second, much larger body, was certainly important to Miquella but maybe not for his own occupation.
So who’s the big, withered, husk in the cocoon? Well, it’s an upscaled Morgott model. Maybe, just maybe, that is actually Godwyn. Mohg, in service to Miquella and/or the Formless Mother and/or Marika, is guarding his half dead brother. Keeping the body alive and hidden in these final stages of whatever is going on.
Speaking of the Formless Mother, Marika seems a holy shell. Perhaps this exterior is a puppet or doll. Marika is free of flesh and form, at least, we have not seen her true self. All sorts of things will come out if I don’t stop.
So why block the way to the Mountaintops of the Giants? Well, it’s the way to the Forge, also the way to a Divine Tower, and Miquella’s Haligtree.
I haven’t completely figured it all out but it is another small part of my overall grand theory.

Okay so. Hi. I’ve posted on these types of subreddits on and off for a minute and the results have been pretty good. Truth be told I’ve met some of my bestest pals online and I love knowing I’m like a click away from someone I can chat with. I love sending and receiving snail mail but maybe we can start with some chats and see how that goes and maybe move to Snapchat or something idk.
Anyways. Me. Well, I’m 38, from BC, Canada close to Vancouver. I work as a clinician in healthcare and have worked in healthcare for 14 years. Previous to that I got my BA in English. I’m a published writer and poet - nothing crazy like novels but a few short stories and articles here and there. I’m also an avid photographer and got my start on the high school yearbook where I was free to be the weird girl dressed in all black lugging around a camera.
On the subject of black clothes, I consider myself a recovering goth. I’d probably fit in with an alternative label but I don’t truthfully see myself that way anymore. I’ve got tattoos but so does just about everyone now a days so whatever - I don’t feel they’re particularly interesting. Same thing with piercings etc
I’ve had people say I’m death obsessed and maybe that’s true. I’ve seen a lotta people die and I think about it a lot. I’m very interested in antiques and vintage items and consider a hobby of mine to be thrifting and I’m on a first name basis with the ladies at a few thrift shops. I’m definitely an aesthete. I love home decor and fashion. I make a lot of clothing and other items. I definitely have a “how hard can it be attitude?”
I’m into animals and have two cats who are useless shitbags who probably should get jobs but they haven’t yet so I’m stuck paying the bills.
I own my own home, I don’t drink any alcohol and haven’t for something like 12 years now. I don’t use any substances recreational or otherwise. If I’m feeling wild and out of control I might share a menthol cigarette with a friend outside a dive bar just for the drama of it all.
I’m an Aquarius, INTJ, if any of that is meaningful to you.
I go through phases and hyperfixations, and some current ones are:

1. High altitude mountaineering. Not that I’d ever do this myself but I love reading about and listening to information about Mt Everest.
   
2. The Chris Watts murder case
   
3. Tudor England
   
4. 1700s France
   
5. Olive Oatman
   
6. How dementia is addressed across cultures
   
7. Why Tom Hiddleston looks like a sickly Victorian chimney sweep
   

Anyways there’s probably more but this post is plenty long. If any of this seems interesting please send me a message.
On and btw, I’m attaching a selfie idk
me on some Flannery o‘Connor shit

Blachowicz here.
Kept yah’ waiting, huh? Heh, sorry about that one, but I can explain. As we all know… we lost a few good men the last few months.
That’s the brutal part of a hybrid war like ours: We’re fighting a foe unconventional, with half our arsenal tied down because those who grant us authorization are either in disbelief of the true facts, or scared… or already assimilated. That being said our momentum recently was a change not seen in years, and because of that… despite the losses we have garnered, we were close through a breakthrough. One last night Krol pulls myself and other two must trusted squad leads into the back of our COP. There is one of our equipment cages, surrounded by m-bitter radios, tripods, and several hundred thousand dollars of equipment he brought us around a simple worn table. Before us he laid a map of eastern poland… red markings indicating cells that seemed to dot the countryside like a pestilence, or used to… as deep gashes of advance from raids had trisected their lines, even if ones did pop up in the interior.
It was a back and forth; an outside virus infecting Polska at it’s heart, and we were the antibodies sent to drive them out. To which… Major Krol points to one of the largest symbol on the map: a dark red diamond, the NATO symbol for an enemy unit, deep inside of an untouched wooded area, adjacent to a mountain ridge. Several jagged lines indicated entrenchment, with red horizontal lines indicating possible enemy control… or our contested control, for over 20kms surrounding it. Letting us all look, the Major lit himself a cigarette.
“Sir, you sure it’s wise to smoke in here with the dive tanks just behind us” 1st Squad’s lead quipped. “Fuck off” Krol dryly said.
“Alright… this is it… this is the one we’ve been searching for for years, this is the nucleus my predecessor commander died trying to find” he says, pointing to it. Not far from Zamosc, it was almost touching the border with Belarus, the contested area indicating the Strigoi did operate over it… indicating one of the largest spill through points. “-It’s an old soviet bunker, made during their 1960s initiative it was designed to hold the munitions and manpower of several units in the event of a NATO first strike” Krol explained. “It’s gotta be massive then…” I said gazing at the map; “Didn’t the army demolish all of the old soviet hulks near Belarus to prevent any infiltrations?” 3rd Squad’s lead asked. “National Police took the effort over… and by extension, the Strigoi. It was halfway demo’ed before they burrowed into it and have been using it as a bridgehead ever since. This is it…” Krol said. He looked around at all of us, a sense of certainty I had never seen before as he blew smoke from his nostrils; “We’ve been fucking around in the dark for so long, it’s hard to believe we’ve made any progress, but this is it. With this gone, this will set them back over a decade and the momentum will finally shift into our favor… into Poland’s… -Europe’s”.
I swear there was almost a flash of joy, of pride in his eyes and a phantom of a smirk before reality set back in “That being said… we can’t leave this to chance, especially not something as important as this. We’re going to have to go there ourselves… clear through every inch of that place, and tear it all down, piece by piece. I will be straight with you all… when we go, there will be some of us that aren’t coming back. -but we are going… a whole generation is counting on us, and unborn billions rely on us to succeed”. We all nodded, a silent agreement washing over us as we took this upon ourselves. Echo-1 spoke up: “So… They’re authorizing a raid? How big?”. “We’re rolling in as a hard target, armor, explosives, and air support” Krol answered, taking a drag off his cigarette. “Aviation? How the hell did we get that approved, we’ve gotten attempts shot down four times due to those leeches” I said in disbelief. “There’s too much evidence here pointing to the human trafficking tied to their actions… We’ve finally got too much weight pinning them down, to keep the hammer from slamming into their necks” Krol chuckled. He looked around “Any questions?”. “When?” Echo-3 asked. “Three hours. We’re hitting them in the dead of night, only time we could get the birds authorized. Get your boys ready. We’re rolling out” Krol said, dying the cigarette bud out on the table. I can’t begin to tell you the euphoria we felt leaving that cage, as our men started arriving, they did so a lot quicker, and with their heads a lot higher than they had in weeks. As Second Squad’s lead we were going to be one of the main arms of attack into the bunker, thus I made sure we had a breacher loaded with enough thermite, charges, and tools to cut through anything. Our shield bearer we ready to go, as was our assaulters, grenadiers, and machine gunner. I double checked each and everyone of their weapons; ensuring the feeder paws of our squad’s belt fed were intact, making sure every breach charge we had was properly set and packed. There was going to be no mistakes, no slip ups. The margin of error needed to be the smallest it had ever been for us tonight if we were going to make the gore spilt worth it.
Finally… there on the outside of the building, the bright LED lights kept the darkness of the ensuing night at bay as the roar of our MRAPs could be heard. It was said once that war is 99% peace, and 1% chaos, they were right. The slow periods where the blood slowed and the doubt creeped in was the worst… yet we all kept it at bay. We needed to, there was going to be no backing down tonight. All three squads were up, all of us ready to go… we circled up… short stares and shaky nods telling us one things: We were in this together, till the end… the finish line so many before us had been searching for, we were being granted tonight.
A single set of footsteps could be heard as we turned, Major Krol stepping into the center. He took the last drag of a cigarette, throwing it down to the ground and stamping it out onto the damp concrete. He looked around… his chin strap blowing in the weak air as he met everyone of our gazes… then mine… then looked around. “I want you to remember every detail of tonight, as you have every other night… when you are situationally aware, scanning for the enemy, liberating the subjugated, I want you to remember the sting of anxiety, the shake of adrenaline, the chill of the bunker, the heat of your weapon as it cuts them down… because tonight we are going to write every fine detail of our victory, their defeat, in history…” Krol’s words echoed deep into our souls. He paused for a moment, staring around he looked down… a small pause before he said “When you are ruthless in combat, remember to be patient, and reserved in victory. This conflict is for our existence… a lot of innocents have bled due to the mistakes of those who failed to listen, a lot of our brothers are now laid under because we had to bridge the gap of uncertainty with their lives. We remember them now… but in an hour? We forget them… when we raise our barrels, when we cut into those foes, and we liberate Polska!! This does not end tonight, but history puts everything in it’s place, and patience is the companion of the victor… All of our hard work will be cemented, no matter the obstacles we face in that darkness… no matter the demons, the blood, no matter what incomprehensible horrors, we will make them comprehend that to invade our land, to bleed our people, the justice will be paid in full… Load up. It’s time*”*.
The purpose in our steps was heavy as we climbed the back ramps of the MRAPS; Four of the heavily armored vehicles, one for each squad with an additional for attached personnel including our JTAC, the term means Joint Terminal Attack Controllers. With air support requisitioned to us for this operations, there needs to be a definite liaison on the ground who can directly communicate to the birds, and coordinate their fire and progress. I’d worked with many of them in the past, resourceful guys, quick thinking though I guess that comes with the position they hold of needing to quickly figure out what bombs to drop, on which target, at what precise points, whilst taking contact. He loaded in the lead vehicle with Major Krol… and soon, our convoy kicked off.
The drive was several hours as myself and my squad sat in the back of that forty ton goliath, the rumbling of the engine keeping us awake as the crap heater fought to keep the cold from the outside frost from setting in. I looked around to each of them, some were catching some sleep because even with the circumstances… better to get all the energy you can, than to stay awake for nothing. Others were checking their weapons… My gunner locked eyes with me, the same one from the village extraction… many of these men I had trained with for a while now, fought with for months.
We may have met on unconventional circumstances but those in JW Grom thrive on austere chance and create opportunity from scratch. I was pulled from my thought by the sound of a transmission, my peltors were set up for dual comms so I could both receive information from the Major and other leads, whilst communicating with my team.
Krol himself sent out: [“Approximately 10 minutes from enemy AO…”]. As the rest of the squads acknowledged, I quickly sent out [“Echo-2 Copies”], before kicking the boots of any of them sleeping: “Look alive, we’re here”. Through the exterior net armor of the MRAPS, and the bars protecting the small reinforced windows, we could barely see jack shit. I reached up, turning off the overhead light as we all looked through our nods to scan the outside. A dark wall of dense trees was shown before us, making it difficult to see… in addition to night vision capabilities we had also requisitioned ourselves some thermals… when mounted onto rifles they were bulky, made it a pain to aim down quickly, but considering the supernatural capabilities of spotting our foes we needed every advantage necessary.
I flipped out one of my tubes… scanning the outside with my scope. I looked over to one of my assaulters who had been assigned to man the turret of the MRAP, seated near the view screen as he controlled the 50. Cal. Each of the vehicle turrets had been assigned a direction to cover… we took the 9 o’clock, the left flank. “See anything?” I asked. He shook his head; “Negative… wait… I’ve got two cold signatures, front left heading to our rear”.
I quickly scanned the far tree line, at approximately 60 meters off our left were two cold signatures… followed by a third heading to our front… then another. They were surrounding us, moving at speeds so fast I could barely keep my reticle on them. Is this what the National Police saw? What they faced at that lodge without the benefit of a foot of heavy armor protecting them on all sides. Then… suddenly. Something slammed into the side of our MRAP so hard, it caused it to shake. From over the leader comms, Echo-3 quickly shouted [“Contact right!! 4 hostiles!!”].
One of the Strigoi… so bold, had charged and slammed into the side of our MRAP. I quickly looked to see the figure, a dark blue mass of cold energy through my thermal, back away without so much as a stagger… as they tried to flee into the woods, the white hot justice of Echo-3’s gun fired at them, cutting them down. “Blachowicz I’ve got a few breaking for our vic” my man on the turret called out, I spun around, spotting out the window.
Just then, Major Krol announced [“weapons free, watch and shoot for targets of opportunity…”]. I turned to him… “take those fuckers out-”. Without hesitation my vic’s turret began to quickly target them, and through the darkness I saw a stream of outgoing fire bisect one of them, the ISR of the black blood freaking out the optic so badly it didn’t know what temperature to register it as… but it did register it. As another was cut down, one broke through the tree line and latched onto the side of our MRAP. The thing tore at one of the outer net armor panels, usually made to stop RPGs. It grabbed at the bars near the windows, tearing one off… I lowered my rifle as we locked eyes through the reinforced window.
The thing… the Strigoi looked at me, skin cracked as putrefied muscle fibers seemed to leak through dead flesh. It’s teeth were corroded and worn down to sharp fragments, alongside newly mutated fangs that messily protrude from the jaws. Even through the thick walls of the MRAP I could hear it’s roar, as it then tried to punch it’s way through… it cracked the outer coating of the vehicle… but it wasn’t getting anywhere near. My machine gunner, seated next to me, seemed to chuckle at the sight, quippily saying “Yeah… fuck you too”. It’s then our vehicle lurched upwards, as we began to climb the small incline of the bunker. I knew the layout, mapped it in our head, the main entrance was built into the rocky side of an old cliff meaning we could easily set up a defensive perimeter around it, a horseshoe. Krol’s vehicle was first, taking to the right as Echo-3’s MRAP followed. My vehicle, third, left the incline and took a left and… that’s where things got complicated.
We’re still trying to work out what happened but… from what Joakim says his drone captured. Right when the MRAP turned, several of the monsters quickly slammed into the side of the vehicle, as another more bulkier one, pushed at it’s undercarriage. The result.. Was the 40 ton armored vehicle tipped over. It wasn’t uncommon, hell in some cases a well placed IED, a good shot with a recoilless rifle, have been known to tip over Oshkoshs and Maxpros all the time. But this beast? Needless to say we barely had a second to comprehend it as it leaned to the left; “Grab on to something-” is all I had time to shout. A mess of gear and men spilled onto one side of the vehicle as it slammed into the old gravel and dirt.
Several of my assaulters, my grenadier planted right ontop of myself and the others as we came to a stop. Someone’s knee slammed directly into the side of my skull, causing me to dazily bob in and out of consciousness as my face was smushed against the glass of one of the windows.
Through my peltors, the other squads were erratic;
[“Echo-2’s vehicle is down!!”].
[“Echo-3 to Echo-2… Echo-3 to Echo-2…”].
Krol’s voice came through the comms;
[“Echo-Lead to Echo-2… Fuc-... Echo-1 secure Echo 2’s flank, Echo-3”].
[“Echo-3 to other units, they’re spilling through, I’ve got several enemy combatants converging on Echo-2’s vehicle”].
I pushed the legs of my grenadier off my head as I fought to my hands and knees, unfucking my nods as I looked around… “Fuck it… we’re going lights on, shield your eyes” I muttered as I reached for the overhead lights and flipped them on. The bright LEDs bathed the inside of the vehicle as we all gained our bearings, a mess of multicam, gear, and weapons as we quickly pushed each other off. My gunner caught as he fought to realign his promask, from what I gathered one of the assaulters had landed directly into his gun, pushing it directly into his jugular, as pulled back at the rubber and coughed, freeing up his esophagus. We didn’t have time to think however… the sound of bending metal caught our attention… as the back ramp door of the MRAP was ripped clean off. I could barely believe it but as the white light of the MRAP’s interior poured to the outside, a hulking mass leaned in, the dead flesh on it’s face nearly fallen off as the hideous Strigoi leaned inside.
Without hesitation I aimed took aim, yelling “Keep to the deck!!” to any of those inbetween myself and the invader as I opened fire. A burst of full auto fire tore through it’s collar and neck, my men quickly clung to either sides of the fallen MRAP as a few more fired out. As the thing backed up, a blast of .50 cal fire quickly tore it to shreds, along with several others as I realized they were fuckin swarming over the outside of our vehicle. Echo-3’s vehicle continued to carefully fire on the Strigoi on the outside, the sounds of .50 cal ricocheting off the outside of our armor was enough to make the pucker factor set in.
[“Echo-3 to Echo-2”].
[“This is Echo-2, we’re green on ammo, equipment, men”].
[“Roger, we’re shifting fire, exit the vehicle”].
“Hurry up let’s go!!” I barked to my men, leading the way as I staggered out. I turned on my peq, taking aim at silhouettes in the brush as I began to fire. The sounds of machine guns lighting up the brush, as a sea of growls, howls, and incomprehensible roars fired back at us was the ambient noise of the night. My men quickly exited, my gunner being the last as he and I pulled back to the rest of the defensive perimeter. I set in my men to take up the frontal security, as 3rd squad took the right flank, 1st squad to the left. Major Krol and the JTAC were bickering with each other; “How far out are the birds”. “They’re entering airspace now…” Joakim said, already scanning his smart book.
I asked “What’ve we got?”. He then flipped through… to the NATO combined arms segment, quippily saying; “Apaches…”. This caused me to pause as Echo-3 turned their head whilst directing their squad’s fire “The hell… where did we get apaches from?”. “The Americans… they volunteered” Krol said dismissively as he took aim at the darkness, firing off a controlled trio. “Volunteered? They’re aware of what’s going on?” I asked.
Krol seemed to stop, glancing back at me before returning his focus “There’s a lot more going on than you realize, Blachowicz… Prep the breach, you and 1st are going on”.
I quickly pulled my breacher off the line, securing some thermite as the reinforced bunker door wasn’t going to go as easily as a conventional door breach would. 1st Squad pulled back, stacking up and preparing themselves to be the first in. All the while… Joakim gave his firing solution; “Alpha Hotel Two Five Nine, This is Bravo-4…… Type 2….”.
I snapped to my right, watching as a Strigoi managed to dark across the clear gravel field, only to be cut down by my gunner, the peq’s laser marking the burst as it tore through the beasts’ hips, as it hit the ground and still continued to claw, another GROM operator took aim and fired into it’s skull. Joakim popped up to his feet…. “Marking laser, high power…”. He then pulled out a target marking laser… if you’ve watched night operations, you’ve probably seen them.
The green laser than as it says on the label, marks targets. The pattern of which can vary… if it’s a point target, it’ll usually lasso an area, or remain on target until the target is removed with extreme prejudice. If its close air support, then it’ll be a line of the general area… and Joakim damn near marked the entire perimeter around us. He quickly pocketed the tool, turning back to Krol; “Don’t go past 20 meters unless you want to be liquidated”.
With that… 2nd and 1st stacked up at the door as 3rd squad took up the perimeter security. As Major Krol went over to Echo-1… I saw them. A single blinking IR strobe from the beasts as they moved on the far off horizon, converging from several angles… and fired. The sound of the Apache’s main gun, the M230, truly sounds like the hammer of god… the 30mm cannon shot through the dark sky, lighting it up as we saw three incoming streams tear up the woods. Only then as the sound broke did we start to hear their rotors as they broke and began to circle, firing again… then… Joakim dipped his head and looked to Krol; [“Foxtrot Mike, hang onto your teeth…”]. One of the Apaches fired off a AGM-114… a Hellfire. I barely saw it out of the corner of my eye as the Apache from our right flank fired off at a target approximately 200 meters off. A fireball lit up the forest as the horrendous roar echoed throughout… then went silent.
Echo-3 scanned the horizon carefully;
[“Echo-3 to Echo-Lead, enemy contact is starting to die down”].
[“Maintain perimeter, Close Air is to maintain fire mission until we are boots up, Break…”].
[“Echo-Lead to Echo-1, condition white has been met. Proceeds”]. I saw Echo-1 and his men quickly stack up close to the wall and gesture to me; Breaching. I quickly pulled my stack back against the wall as his and mine breacher quickly hit their actuators. Now under normal circumstances, it doesn’t take much for thermite to melt the locks off of a metal surface, in fact it’s a more precise took as alternative means get real medieval like saws, pry bars… we weren’t in the mood for precision, we need to breach their little lair, and drag them out. The sound of several pounds of hellfire burning through the metal could be heard around the corner as a sea of white and red sparks flew out… after several seconds, two of our men tossed a fragmentation grenade and a nine-bang through the opening… a series of concussive blasts and a large explosion rang out.
Echo-1 and his men maneuvered. 1st Squad quickly converged as we followed them in.
Stepping through the black wall of smoke, the dark abyss of the interior was illuminated in a white light as entered barrels raised. Shots rang out as several of the beasts near the entrance were cut down, though not immediately, rounds disconnected the shoulder of one of them, leading to their arm hanging limply by a single tendon as they roared… another series of rounds putting them down. What greeted us was a messy concrete hell of rust and debris, fecal matter, trash, and all kinds of obstacles laid in our way, our boots sticking to the floor. I thank every god we had promasks that night. I called my shield bearer up, 2nd squad leapfrogging ahead to take the next corridor as 1st squad checked their weapons.
One of my men mule kicked the metal door ahead, twice, finally the latch gave away as we tossed in a grenade. A horrifying roar was cut off as an M67 shook the walls of the ancient soviet mausoleum, frag and spall kicked off the walls as I moved in right behind my shield man. The cramped russian design meant there was barely enough space for three people, and that’s three normal people, not in 50kgs of kit, moving slowly and maneuvering against creatures of the dark. Still… we moved forward, my shield bearer and I pushing the pace as two stacked of either squad formed on either wall.
As we passed doorways they flowed in… “Door Left!!”, “Door Right!!”. “Move!!”.
Two men entered each side, no gunshots, we moved up, a roar came.
“Door left!!-”. A series of gunshots came out as we continued to push forward.
“Two down!!”. “Confirm them” Krol commanded, as a series of gunshots run out in response. From one of the doorways, a Strigoi emerged… a female… clumps of hair had been ripped from her decaying skull, as her blooded eyes locked on myself and my shieldman. The skin on her hands had been tore down to the point where barely her bones and tendons remain… looking like huge talons as she roared and lunged at us. He fired off his pistol, though the rounds did little to stop her as she pushed against our stack.
“Fuck!!” he muttered, somehow her strength caused him to stagnate, holding up the advance… fuck that. I shoved the muzzle of my MK18 into her ribcage, flipping the weapon to auto as I fired of round after round. The 5.56 salvo disconnecting her spinal column, causing her to fall as I continued to fire, along with a man to our right and left as the stacks reformed as we pushed to the end of the hall. I fell back, dropping the magazine and loading a fresh one, like clockwork a GROM Operator from 1st squad took my place. Krol was beside me as we approached the end of the hall.
[“-Prep an entry”] I radioed to my breacher, a comrade handed him one of the charges from his back panel as he took to the door, quickly securing it. We all moved as far back as we could, look away, exhale. The blast knocked metal and wood in all directions, scrapping against our uniforms and kit as we made our way in and what laid before us was… it used to be the center atrium of one of these bunkers. Soviet’s loved their grandiose designs, the complex was supposed to be a circular room around a central planning table… instead. It had been turned into some sort of church. Runes and old eastern Romuva pagan symbols written in black ink and blood across the walls, old rotten filing cabinets, long receipt terminals. In the center… several of the Strigoi were kneeling before the table where someone had been tied down, flayed, and… shared amongst the group. They rose to their feet, we aimed our barrels…
The ladder amongst turned to us… his skin wasn’t cracked, or flayed, it was smooth… it still looked dead as the body on the table but it seemed more… accustomed to it. I don’t know… evolved? Under the surface however I could see it’s darkened veins pumping whatever cursed blood ran through them as it locked two blood red eyes onto each of us. It’s nose had long since been turn off, exposing boney nostrils to the open air as it seemed to smirk. All across it’s body were the same symbols on the walls, in every cell… markings of death, of rebirth, of assimilation… From behind this seemingly Alpha emerges another figure I had never seemed before… dressed in a white cloak with a deer head.
"So they've followed the trail... they're too late" the Deer headed individual spoke, definitely not from here, a dialect similar to an Americans but... aristocratic? Each word was drawn out, assurance as if they had everything mapped down to our actions. They didn’t sound like they were from Poland or the east.
“Doesn’t matter…” the Alpha growled… and then, it lunged at us. Quickly breaking from their ground it slammed into my shield man knocking both him and myself at the ground as it displayed an intense feat of strength. Around us I could see several of the Strigoi leap at our comrades… though to no fruitful endeavor as I could see one GROM operator cut two down, as another got into a hand to hand confrontation… my breacher, crafty as they were, reached back and slammed one of the prybars of his kit into the skull of the beast.
The Alpha however was not content as it threw away the 90lb shield, sending it flying across the room as it grabbed my comrade by the skull. I quickly kicked up at it, firing my MK18 into it’s body as the rounds pierced it’s gray and rune covered flesh. The thing simply seemed to chuckle… that was until Major Krol blasted away at the side of it’s head, the alpha turned… and it’s smirk turned to a scowl when face to face with the major. A knowing pause almost like they had done this dance before…
The creature lunged, locking up with Major Krol as it swung and slammed railing. Krol didn’t back down however as he pushed against the creature, hiptossing it to the ground even as it tore at his armor and gear. But the beast pulled, both of them rolled and the Major was on his back as the thing reached for his neck. I fought to a kneel, firing into the creature messily with my MK18, trying not to hit my commander… then…
Click. A sound sends a chill up the spine of every warfighter during a firefight.
My gun ran dry. I dropped the magazine, looking to load another, but the thing came up and with one of it’s claws, sliced deep into my cheek, through the pro mask. I could feel my own blood go flying through the air as I landed hard on my back plate, spitting out red iron as I quickly tried to adjust my mask. Through my fogged up, blood covered lense… I saw my shield man raise his pistol, firing into the skull of the thing staggering it with a roar. Krol came from behind, drawing his knife he sunk it deep into the neck of it…. I reached for my rifle, forcing a new magazine in and damn near punching the bold release. ““Sir, down!!” I shouted, Krol rolled away, back to his own rifle as I fired. So did my comrade as he continued to fire his pistol… so did the Major as he fired his rifle. All of us chewing through that apex predator of darkness, that beast… the leader that had been preying on our people for so long. Layer by layer, muscle group by bone… eventually… the alpha landed on whatever was left of his back.
The silence of the fight died down as all of us checked our surroundings, GROM Operators putting controlled pairs in the heads and nerve stems of any Strigoi laying around… I flicked my weapon onto safe, letting it hang as I pulled off my mask. I dared not touch the wound on my face… the pain nearly crippling me if it wasn’t sheer will pushing me through, and adrenaline doing all it could to subdue it. The sound of the apaches continuing to lay hate drew us from our moment of contemplation as the Major went back to work; [“Confiscate any info, burn the rest…”]. He turned back to me as I shoved my damaged M50 mask back into it’s bag, chuckling as he looked at the sight; “You need a medevac, Blachowicz?” he quipped.
I shook my head, barely able to speak as I muttered; “Negative sir…”. The two of us scanned the room as my shield bearer went to collect his defense implement turned 90lb projectile, we scanned the center of the room, checking and confirming bodies, until we got to the last one alive. His white gown was soaked in red crimson and black ooze, as his dear head was mangled from bullet fire and impact from falling on it. I swear… the way his blood poured out of it though made me wonder if it was a mask. I gave it no second thoughts as he looked to Krol; “You… you can’t stop this, they’ve already-”.
The Major was in no mood for communication as his rifle snapped up and fired off three rounds to the body, four the head. The violent yet quick salvo ending the cultists life, I looked down at it, then to him as he remarked; “Have your squad drag him out to the front, burn the rest”. I stood alongside him, looking down as the sight of it’s deer head was both captivating and horrifying… the curiosity in me wanting to look closer at it fighting the primal instinct I had to burn the thing to ash. “-Haven’t seen one of those before…” I muttered, thinking the Major had an answer.
He didn’t. Krol saying “Neither have I…” shortly before he walked away, was what truly shook my soul about that entire night. Victory stood firm in our hearts that night as we stood outside of the bunker. The night sky burning with fire and white phosphorus as we watched the ruin burn from the inside from the other side of the lot. In the distance, the Apaches continued to scan and circle the forests, no longer firing…. Which meant they had driven any or turned to glass any enemy combatants within a four miles, probably both, more than likely the latter. Echo-1 patted me on the shoulder as we stood there, soaking it all in, though Krol looked none to pleased. “In the time it took us to take this one down, they’ll be trying to set up three more cells… that being established…” he said, looking to either of us, then to Echo-3. “-Hell of a thing we did tonight, been waiting for this one for a decade, cleanly, maybe more… but no time to rest on our laurels… we’ll have another task for us as soon as we’re boots down back home” he said, to which his eyes followed mine, the body of whatever cultist that was zipped up in a black body bag beside the wheel of one of the MRAPs. The fire from the bunker casting an orange hue over it’s shiny jet black outside, something didn’t sit right with me… “That wasn’t a Strigoi…” I said to Krol.
“That’s very clear…” the Major said, shoving his mask under his arm and lighting a cigarette. “So… someone’s helping them?” I asked. The meer notion of it shook me to my core, sickened me. This parasite was already badly infecting Europa, Polska… if it was spread like this throughout the world. Krol settled my nerves: “We’ll be ready… It’s not just us anymore”. As he said that, I realized what he meant… my eyes looking to the Apaches as they started to form up, leaving the areas as their thunderous propellers melted into the night’s calm, unnerving ambience.
It’s been a couple of weeks since then, Echo Detachment has been busy. We’ve gained good ground against the enemy and honestly I think in a few years, we might see a much larger change. For now… we must keep going, that being said the Strigoi aren’t the only ones we’ve been combating. Recently we’ve made contact with of some sort of extermination coalition, they’ve known about the Strigoi, and others plaguing the world, the level of corruption and corrosion on society goes deep. Regardless a lot of the units we’ve been working with are apart of NATO, such as this “4th Special Forces Group” of the American Military. I don’t know where the road from here leads, but we’ve gotten momentum on our side, finally. Just remember… these things are out there, in every town, every city, every nation… preying and waiting for you to be alone, vulnerable, so they can take you and replace you.
Watch your back, and stay safe.
For now, Blachowicz signing out. Until next time

Went on a tour of Plitvice National Park in Croatia today. The only other US Citizen on our bus was a boomer man in his 70s or so traveling alone.
Some of this was relayed to me by my husband as at some points of the bus journey I could not take it and put my headphones in to drown him out.
He strikes up a conversation with a young female engineer traveling by herself. She is in her 20s from the UK and visibly a person of color, which unfortunately is relevant to the story.
He inquires where she's from. She answers that she's from London. You can guess what he asks next:
"But where are you really from?"
It didn't get any better from there.
He peppered her with questions, which turned out to be more like an opportunity for him to humble brag. Oh, she's staying in a hostel? Well, personally he could never stomach that, but he's 'not a snob or anything'. His room in Split overlooks the central square.
The young woman actually got separated from our group. I could not tell if this was intentional to get away from boomer McGee but she didn't seem that shaken as I might have been in the same situation, considering that we were a 3 hour drive up the mountain from where our accommodations were.
He sits with her at lunch along with two French girls. He has talked endlessly about his time spent living in Paris, so he's proud to show off his French skills.
She's sitting next to the window on the ride back. Of course he sits next to her, uninvited. Asking about how she felt about being lost, he talks about his own bad travel experiences, like how he lost his phone getting mugged in Paris once. Of course it was necessary for him to mention the muggers race in this anecdote and also speculate that they "must have been from Mali", as if he could possibly know this. He adds, “not that it matters, of course”, even though he must have thought it mattered enough to include it in his anecdote.
He mentions that he is by himself because his wife is "crazy about the grandkids" and sent him off by himself. My interpretation was that his family couldn't stand him and sent him on a tour of the Dalmatian coast to have some peace.
The young engineer then tactfully says that she's had a long day and was hoping to use one of the many empty rows to stretch out, and that she might move a few rows up to do so. She is sitting in the window, he is sitting in the aisle.
"Oh.... so you need me to move, then?" the boomer asks.
Yes, dipshit, she needs you to move.
The woman moves a few rows up but at no point does she sleep. I see her taking videos out the window on her phone of a fortress as we return to Split.
I thought it was notable that despite being the only other Americans on the tour, the boomer has not said one word to me or my husband, an interracial same sex couple. Not that I would have wanted him to.
We arrive back in the city and the poor engineer, unfortunately, is not free of him. The boomer comes waddling up to her. He's invited the French girls (also in their 20's) for some rose and would she like to join?
I think I hear the woman audibly sigh before she collects herself and answers that she has an early day the next morning and needs some rest. Boomer seems disappointed but thankfully does not push the issue.
I think the most unfair part of the whole thing for me was that none of what Boomer McGee was doing rose to the level of harassment. There wasn't any one thing he said where I felt like I could have stepped in and told him to leave her alone, even though it was clear to me that his attention was unwanted. It was all just idle chitchat on his part, but the pervasiveness and persistence of it was the only thing he was doing wrong. I know that women have to deal with this level of not-quite-harassment all the time, and for that I'm truly sorry.
If she reads this somehow, to the young engineer that had to put up with this all day other than that brief respite when you were lost in the park, I'm so sorry you had to deal with this loser all day. Also to the French girls, I hope you got a free bottle of rose and promptly ditched the boomer.

I wasn't entirely sure where to chronicle the wonderous tale of Clyde, because this spans multiple websites including reddit. Not enough drama localized here for it to be subredditdrama , and not enough on the Discord for it to be considered discordhorrorstories, and not enough TTRPG for rpghorrorstories.
Mods, feel free to direct me to the proper place if this isn't it. Anyway, on with the disaster.
Our tale begins on a subreddit in a semi-niche community of the RP side of Reddit, which I won't name because of Rule 9. It's a medieval-themed board where you can post memes if you want, but is mainly known for it's "encounter posts" and long, long chains of IC conversations between the regulars of the sub. I myself love the place, my Doctor Who OC (isn't relevant to the tale so I'll keep info on that brief) is one such regular, having decided to become that planet's Doctor stand-in. Long irrelevant story. Check my comment history, I'm all over that sub. Any references to that character are just to provide examples for how things work there.

Some background to understand the landscape:

Character creation is pretty lax there. One doesn't necessarily have to be a knight, (such as my character for example) but most people choose to be. It's gotten some controversies in the past concerning technology limitations to some extent, mainly asking folks to flavor things fantasy-style, such as my character being viewed as an eccentric artificer who lives in a box of miracles. A phrase I see commonly for when people ask questions about this is something like this:

"You can have an F-22 Raptor, but it cannot be an F-22 Raptor. Perhaps a Da-Vinci style flying machine propelled by magic to have comparable speed instead?"

Stuff like that. The community doesn't want to stifle creativity, but also don't want people to ruin the DnD-style universe with technology far outstripping the era (hence why my character must be secretive about his Tardis; Meta-perspective it's to avoid violating the tech rule more than it already does by nature). There's also a no-NSFW/ERP rule (unless its in DMs), which will come into play later.
Due to rulings like this, it has the obvious problem of how to settle things like duels, or how various people groups see each other IC. This caused a mutual agreement over on the discord to have the combatants agree on the terms of the duel beforehand, either in DMs or OOC somewhere. Stuff like, HP per character, highest D20 wins/best of 3, or first to Nat 20. Alternatively, self-hosted Encounter Posts can have their own rules, which must be outlined in the comment section by OP. Here's an example stat block from one such encounter:
https://preview.redd.it/xlo49rq4ih0d1.png?width=1122&format=png&auto=webp&s=dd7c9908af081c25953ebebcb1ed1a3a40c04eb6

Now, where does Clyde come into play?

Once upon a time, there was a user I'll call Clyde. Clyde is effectively the most anime character of all anime characters I've ever seen in my time in that community. To put it bluntly, he refuses to lose. I don't mean like he's very determined or super good at the combat, or a clever RP-er. I mean, his characters (of which the Tupperbox list on the Discord is FULL of, which will come up later), have miscellaneous excuses as to why they can literally never lose any engagement. Not one. Hence the nickname, "The Nuh-Uh King"
Here's a word for word excerpt from the Bio of one of his characters. Keep in mind, he's no troll. I've talked to him in VC before. This is completely, unironically, serious.

She was also born with several vampiric abilities yet none of the weaknesses.

I have plenty of more snippets just like this if not worse, including one that I couldn't relocate to post here that in summary said "can cast Wish as a Cantrip" (Clyde typically prefers to use DnD for organization of his very overpowered moveset.) or claiming to be level 50, despite DnD maxing at 20.
Note: Clyde insists on DnD-puritanism in his interactions, only to immediately violate his own rules.
By far the most cursed of his lineup is the Golden Half-Dragon. This character supposedly can predict the opponent's moves before they make them. Most Encounter Hosts try to make him roll for this, but he insists it's an innate ability that doesn't have to be rolled, and he has "+30 on every roll" (despite the Encounters not typically allowing modifiers) so he cannot fail anyway. Additionally, there is no Saving Throw for the opponent. Using the same justification, you cannot circumvent it. It's always a Critical hit, and he flaunts this totally fair ability to one-shot anyone and anything, including Lovecraftian Elder Gods (We have a Warlock or two who have dark pacts with Outer Beings)
Clyde seems to have no concept of fun for people other than himself. There's been several incidents of him joining other people's threads, of course one-shotting their instance of the Encounter and declaring himself the winner. People often just ignore him, but sometimes people will try to argue with him about it, and he gets very defensive and picks a fight with the person who won't just let him steamroll their combat. Not to mention, the hypocrisy can be smelled a MILE away.
Here's another lovely message in one such argument. TLDR-ed because there was a bunch of anime exposition that I'm not gonna make you read.

"I snap my fingers and the entire army falls dead, (TW: Violence) their heads severed from their bodies in a fraction of an instant with my blade."

The person protests about ruining the fun (Encounter involved liberating an occupied village by stealth or counter-raiding or assassination of the General, a boss. It was open ended, but they asked for creativity in the post. You were allowed to challenge the army, but you couldn't John Wick them, the Host asked that a Tactical victory be done through soldiers of the Commenter's own). They argued that it was overpowered to do that alone and not very fun to host. Posts a hypothetical of what if someone with the same unimaginably powerful level of a character was able to take down his character in one hit and received this as a response:

"If I ever meet a character that strong I won't consider them canon nor interact with them. My characters are too powerful and they can't lose so it wouldn't happen anyway."

Once more, this was without /s, this was without a hint of irony. I've seen trolls do something similar before, but no one has gone to a practically cartoonish level with it. Everyone is pretty tired of it, and he's been warned by the Mods of both the Subreddit and the Discord multiple times, which brings us to Part 3:

Clyde Joins the Discord

Oh, boy. THIS is a story. So the Discord has several separate sections, places where people can interact OOC and talk about games or other interests outside of Text RP. They also have threads for IC stuff if, say, your character wanted to rent a room at the local Tavern, or conduct business at the marketplace, or visit a shop run by someone else.
The moment he discovered that a Discord existed, the Tupperbox creation channel was absolutely flooded with his characters, and ALL of them are almost impressively overpowered in some form or fashion. I won't go into detail, but it's a long list.
Pretty quickly, a nasty habit of "ghost-pinging" or @ ing someone repeatedly and then deleting the messages developed. One of his warnings was due to this habit, and to his credit it happens less often now, but if you don't respond for more than a minute after he continues, the spam begins until you return. Now, I understand sending a reminder to be sure they remember the interaction/figure out if they're ghosting, but this is insane.
The other warning so far was his rampant violation of the No-ERP rule. I'm friends with one of the mods on the Discord, and they showed me a thread of him writing a lengthy scene between two of his Tuppers in the public channels, after being told he couldn't. I've seen a lot worse, but it wasn't pleasant to read over regardless.
This adventure is still ongoing, I'll be sure to post more Clyde Stories if you liked this one. Why he hasn't been banned from both yet, I have no idea, but it makes for amazing tales.

This may have been brought up before, but as a hack and slash lover myself, I personally can see a lot of potential in further building upon the melee aspect of the game. We already have perks that coincide with melee combat with dashes, stun breaking, and vampirism, so why not build our arsenal with some more brute force brutality? I have thought up a concept weapon for each of the miners that I think fit them conceptually and come with real versatility to make them a worthwhile pick in the game. I'm no balancing expert, but some good old rocks, sticks, and stones never hurt anyone is dwarves didn't want it to. Going right into the weapons themselves now we'll begin with:
Scout: A good old shovel. Basic double swings back and forth with the basic attack and an overhead slam for holding down the attack button. For some extra spice it can do more slam damage based on dwarven velocity on impact. If an alt fire feature is added besides the pickaxe it could be used to jab the shovel into a surface and hang from it, using a free hand to mine still until pulling it out to fall back to the ground.
Gunner: Rocket Axe. Big, slow, arcing strikes better for horde clear. Charged attack is a larger swing that spits burning fuel in a wide arc that could open up some cool overclock features. If alt fire is added it could have a thruster jump that grants added mobility by launching a short distance in the direction you're facing.
Driller: Big Stone block on a stick. This massive sledge hammer takes heft, but it's overhead strikes crush heavy armor like hot pie crust. It's charge attack is another slam, but it cracks the air with a concussive blast to stun all those pesky bugs in the immediate surrounding area. This one's potential alt fire is tougher, but a gemstone demolishing, mighty CRACK of swing that can instantly mine a slightly-larger-than-dwarf sized area despite hardness might be a good fit considering the weight of this weapon and slow start up speeds for swinging.
Engineer: This guy wants to show off more plasma know-how with a laser whip. This little metal rod emits a long beam of hot, beard scorching, purple plasma. With quick, standard whip strikes as it's basic attack it may not seem like much more than a hot laser pointer, but it gets a bit fancier with it's charged attack. It comes out as a twirl of the whip to sting anything close by after a short charge, or a straight, long, whip crack at full charge with a heavy damaging sweet spot at the tip. As far as the alt, a grapple that you swing on rather than being pulled to. How does it work? Management knows and that's what's important. Alternatively if engine limitations don't allow, the two charge attacks can be separated into the charge and alt.
Anyways, those are my weapon concepts for a melee update. I feel the primary slot would be a better place for them to make an impact, so to say, as we already have the pickaxe, drills, and boomerangs (which feels martial enough) in secondary, tertiary, and mandatory slots already. I tried to make things that would fit in a space between Deep Rock's technology and overall dwarven lore. Remember, ranged combat is known to be the way of leaf lovers, hence why they send robots instead of fighting us head on. I, for one, would be excited and honored to show my physical prowess and strength in the name of DRG.
FOR ROCK AND STONE!

Following up on on my latest post TLDR: had failed a hysterectomy in February and second surgery was successful.
34 y/o, high BMI, stage IV endo, suspected adeno, (not confirmed in biopsy)dense adhesions and scarring. Had my LAVH, robotic assisted on May 7th. I found a super compassionate doctor who reassured me and gave me hope after I lost it when my first surgery had to be aborted. Surgery went better than expected, with no complications. It took about 6 hours and took forever for me to wake up. I went home the day of the procedure, only took oxy twice and been managing pain with over the counter meds and gabapentin before bed. Hot water bottles and heating pads. Bloating is annoying, I am lonely and bored but I am happy to be done with it. I felt immediate relief, pain peaked on day 2 - gas pain is no joke. I wanted to thank this community for the advice and support provided, it has been crucial for my journey and I am grateful 💗
My hysterectomy was the culmination of more than 13 years of seeking relief from my discomforts that only worsened over time.
It started with anemia on the verge of blood transfusion that had no explanation other than hypermenorrhea. Each menstrual cycle became more tortuous with the passage of time, heavy bleeding, clots, leg cramps, lumbar pain and chronic fatigue.
I will have seen more than a dozen gynecologists and various doctors.
Blood studies, ultrasounds, resonances, endometrial biopsies, colonoscopy, contraceptives, hormonal IUD that ruined my mental health, I tried absolutely everything. I even went to the middle of the Amazon rainforest to seek relief in the medicine used by the Shipibo people.
I came out of many consultations crying, medical gaslighting and gordophobia were 98% of my experience.
They sent me to the psychiatrist because my pain seemed to have no other explanation than to be psychological.
Since I knew about endometriosis I KNEW that surely it was what happened to me, but finding a doctor who would take me seriously and believe me cost so much. It cost time, money, energy, tears, mental health, putting the body.
First they confirmed fibroids, then suspicion of adenomyosis (waiting confirmation of the biopsy), in February I was operated on for 3 hours without being able to remove my uterus due to the intensity of the adhesions and the advanced endometriosis (phase 4 that was confirmed in said failed surgery)
I had my second operation with a specialist and an interdisciplinary team of gynecologists, urologists and general surgeons.
They took out my uterus, cervix and fallopian tubes. The uterus was attached to the abdominal wall, bladder, intestines and basically everything around it. They drained cysts in the ovaries that I keep. I was cleaned of endometriosis of the sacrous ligaments and mainly of the bladder that was very compromised. They took adhesions from me and I'm sure I forget more.
I feel like I was born again and although this disease is chronic and has no cure, I already hope to see improvements and have a better quality of life, make up for lost time ❤️‍🩹 I can’t wait to see if I can ride a bike again.
Now slowly recovering and feeling very emotional and tired, otherwise happy and excited for my new healing era.
Will include surgery notes, biopsy report and pictures for the curious ones, Hope everyone is having a lovely pre surgery or recovery journey, it’s not easy, but we got this 💪 we are stronger and more resilient than we give ourselves credit for, we fight relentlessly and we show up for each other, our bodies are amazing and can do incredibly things. Sending lots of love your way, internet strangers ✨ 💗
Surgery notes:
Surgery
Findings: Laparoscopy: Smooth diaphragmatic peritoneal surfaces and liver without gross lesion. No injury under site of injury at umbilicus and no umbilical adhesions. Intraabdominal adhesions in the right lower quadrant at the site of prior appendectomy, with bowel and omentum adherent to the right abdominal sidewall. Once this omentum and bowel was taken down, there was a divot with a small amount of fat seen in the RUQ. Dr. Kim evaluated this did not require intervention. Similarly, no clear indirect R inguinal hernia seen without bowel and omentum involved, so Dr. Kim similarly did not recommend intervention. Omentum, bladder adherent to the lower uterine segment anteriorly. Extensive pelvic adhesions and evidence of endometriosis. Thickening of the bladder peritoneum and tacked up to lower uterine segment. Fallopian tubes and ovaries adhered to pelvic side wall, with left hematosalpinx noted in the setting of tortuous left tube. R ovary with small ~1cm functional-appearing cyst. L ovary with hemorrhagic ~2-3cm cyst. Rectum free, no posterior adhesions but extensive serosal endometriosis between the uterosacral ligament and on R posterior serosa overlying R uterosacral. Due to the ICG and use of firefly technology, the course of the ureters were well visualized. Procedure Details: After discussion of risks, benefits and alternatives to the procedure, written consent was obtained. The patient was brought to the operating room. The patient was positioned in the dorsal lithotomy position in yellowfin stirrups with arms padded and tucked at her sides. An exam under anesthesia was performed with findings as noted above. Urology completed a cystoscopy (no endometriosis) and placed ureteral stents with ureteral indocyanine green dye placement. See their operative note for further details. The cervix was dilated with tonsil forceps. Paracervical block was placed. The Rumi uterine manipulator with medium Koh ring was secured to the cervix. A Foley catheter was placed to drain the bladder intraoperatively. A 0.8 cm incision was made at the umbilicus, kocher used to elevate the fascia, and a Veress needle was inserted. Intraperitoneal placement was confirmed. The abdomen was insufflated until an adequate dome was achieved. A 8 mm robotic port was placed and the robotic scope was inserted. Under direct visualization, 3 additional ports were placed, two 8 mm robotic ports to the right of the umbilicus and one 8 mm robotic port to the left of the umbilicus. The patient was placed on steep Trendelenburg and the bowels were swept into the upper abdomen. The Da Vinci robot was then docked in position. The filmy adhesions in the RUQ were taken down with combination of cautery and sharp technique. The omentum was taken down off of the uterine fundus with bipolar and monopolar cautery. The left fallopian tube was followed out to the fimbria. The salpingectomy was then performed, starting at the distal fimbriated end of the tube and sequentially coagulating and transecting the mesosalpinx adjacent to the fallopian tube and well away from the ovary. The fallopian tube was left attached at the cornua. The procedure was repeated on the contralateral side. Good hemostasis was noted. The bladder was noted to be densely scarred to the LUS/cervical junction. The junction was incised with monopolar cautery and the bladder was meticulous dissected off of the underlying uterus/cervix to the level of the KOH ring as marked cephlad traction was placed on the Rumi device. Due to the anterior compartment scarring, round ligaments were not clearly identified. The thickened tissue in this area was grasped, cauterized with bipolar and divided with monopolar. Both ureters were seen using firefly technology. The left utero-ovarian ligament was ligated with bipolar cautery and divided with monopolar. The same procedure was performed on the right side. Marked cephlad traction was applied to the KOH ring. The uterine vessels on either side were skeletonized and ligated with bipolar cautery. The remainder of the cardinal and parametrial attachments were ligated with bipolar and divided with monopolar. The vagina was opened over the Colpo device circumferentially. The fibrotic uterosacral ligaments with overlying endometriosis was incised below the implants and fibrosis, taking care to avoid the ureters. The endometriotic implants over the right uterosacral ligaments were excised. The uterus and fallopian tubes were then removed through the vagina. Given the extensive adhesions and fibrosis, this portion of the surgery took an additional 60 minutes longer than expected. After that, the vaginal occluder was placed into the vagina to maintain the pneumoperitoneum. Dr. Kim then came to assess the inguinal hernia. He deemed no intervention was necessary for the R inguinal hernia or the RUQ divot. The functional ovarian cyst in the R ovary was drained. The 2 cm hemorrhagic ovarian cyst in the L ovary was felt to represent hemorrhagic corpus luteum. Two <1cm nodules on the R uterosacral were excised using cautery, taking care to avoid the right ureter. The vaginal cuff was closed using 0 V-lock in a running fashion in 2 layers . The area was irrigated, and hemostasis was evident. All instruments were then removed under direct visualization. The skin was closed with 4-0 Biosyn . Sterile dressings and Tegaderm were applied to all port sites. The ureteral stents were removed and inspected by urology and noted to be intact. A foley catheter was placed for routine voiding trial in PACU. Sponge and needle counts were correct times x2. The patient tolerated the procedure well and went to the recovery room in stable condition. There were no complications to the case.
Pathology:
Final Diagnosis A) Uterus, cervix, bilateral fallopian tubes, hysterectomy and salpingectomy: - Myometrium with leiomyoma. - Serosal/subserosal endometriosis. - Early secretory endometrium, negative for neoplasm. - Bilateral fallopian tubes and cervix negative for neoplasm. B) Peritoneum, right utero-sacral, biopsy: - Fibrotic squamous epithelium-lined tissue with scattered lymphocytic inflammation. - Negative for neoplasm and no definite endometriosis. Clinical Information Pre-op diagnosis: Adenomyosis [N80.03] Dysmenorrhea [N94.6] Menorrhagia with regular cycle [N92.0] Pelvic peritoneal adhesions, female [N73.6]
Gross Description A. Uterus, with or without tubes and ovaries, other than neoplastic/prolapse. Received fresh labeled, "Goni, Jimena; 1)Uterus,cervix,bilateral tubes" is a uterus with attached bilateral fallopian tubes.. The uterus alone is 105 g, 9.5 cm cervix to fundus by 6.0 cm cornu to cornu by 5.0 cm anterior to posterior. The cervix is 3.3 cm long by 3.0 cm diameter with a 0.6 cm diameter os. The ectocervix has punctate areas of hemorrhage. The serosa has scant fibrous adhesions anteriorly and extensive cautery and disruption posteriorly. The endometrium is ragged, hemorrhagic, 0.1-0.4 cm thick. The myometrium is up to 2.6 cm thick and is mildly trabeculated with cysts up to 0.1 cm greatest dimension filled with hemorrhagic material, suggestive of adenomyosis. There is a 0.2 cm diameter intramural well-circumscribed nodule with a whorled cut surface. No areas of softening are identified. The right fallopian tube is slightly serpentine, congested, 5.3 cm long by 0.5-0.6 cm diameter and has attached hemorrhagic fimbria. The left tube is 5.0 cm long by 0.5-0.6 cm diameter, purple-tan with attached hemorrhagic fimbria. Representative sections are submitted: A1-anterior cervix A2-posterior cervix A3-anterior endomyometrium A4-A5-posterior endomyometrium with possible adenomyosis (A4 with leiomyoma) A6-right fallopian tube and entire fimbria A7-left fallopian tube tube, entire fimbria. (MUA) B. Soft tissue, OTHER. Received in formalin labeled, "Goni, Jimena; 2)right utero-sacral biopsy" are 2 tan red rubbery tissue fragments, 0.7 and 1.0 cm, that are entirely submitted in B1. (AA) Case Report Value Surgical Pathology Report Case: SU24-15696 Authorizing Provider: Chiang, Seine, MD Collected: 05/07/2024 03:42 PM Ordering Location: UWMC Main Operating Room Received: 05/07/2024 05:21 PM Pathologist: Garcia, Rochelle Lorraine, MD Specimens: A) - Uterus, with or without tubes and ovaries, other than neoplastic/prolapse, 1)Uterus,cervix,bilateral tubes B) - Soft tissue, OTHER, 2)right utero-sacral biopsy
Surgery pics