An open letter to my ex’s new girlfriend. She deserves to know that he wasn’t faithful to her the first time and was not truly single when they reconnected. My therapist recommended I write about it. It’s been sitting here for a while so I decided to share it and let this be my final closure.
This is all true, with no embellishments and events recounted as I understood them to be. We can only believe the truth that others allow us to see.
D and I met through a local hiking group. I had chatted with D a few times over a year on things like cameras, cars and waterfalls. We followed each other on Insta. I didn’t have anyone to go hiking with me this particular week and had been chatting with D about something, so asked if he would like to hike with me. He said sure and we made plans to meet.
The first impression I had of him was he seemed kind of nerdy and inexperienced. He had long blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail and oval rimless glasses. Just some kid I was going to hike with. He led the way and was quiet at first. But towards the middle of the hike, we talked about where we were in relationships. Or he did. He did most of the talking. He told me about a friend with benefits situation with A. That he wanted more, but it couldn’t happen because she was living with a guy. And had been for years. The guy was helping raise her daughter, who she had gotten pregnant with during a teenage one night stand. A basic single mom. D had gotten his dog from them, a great dane and said he had kept in touch with her and taken some pictures of the puppies they had. At some point, D and A began a sexual relationship. I never asked how it happened, who initiated, I was just stunned that this guy dumped this on me, someone he knew for literally hours. It made me feel gross. He justified his interaction with her because her partneboyfriend was a narcissist and treated her horribly. She was claiming to be in the process of moving out and he said when she was, they could be a public couple. He told me details about her - her job, what kind of car she drove, how they communicated. He obviously was hung up on her. I asked him if he didn’t feel bad for cheating, and he said no, he wasn’t cheating, that she was, but he wasn’t. He didn’t have anyone to cheat on. I still don’t understand that justification at all. He was partaking in a clandestine act, it was a secret that was kept between them and if it came out, would affect others. This had been going on for four years. He said that A encouraged him to date other people and he had tried on a few occasions. He had met N through his Facebook photography page. He said he only saw her a few times over two months and she was crazy. She texted him twenty times in an hour when he didn’t respond. So he blocked her. I told him he could have just told her he would get back to her later, but he said no, she was annoying. He took the easy way out and blocked her. I notice that this guy takes the easy way out on a lot of things. He truly has no back bone. But we’ll get to that later.
We had a good day. It was a good hike. We continued to talk and spend time together after that. Platonically, then a bit more as time went on. Two months into knowing D, I was with a good friend, K, who I had also met through the group. She had recently broken up with her boyfriend, J. I hadn’t met him, but didn’t like what I heard about him. He had things that he hid from her. They had dated on and off for over a year. She brought up J and said she thinks he was dating this woman where they work believed it started while they were still in a relationship. She said they worked together and named this woman’s job. She said she saw the car she drives. She mentioned that this person had a daughter. All of those details were very specific and exact descriptors of what D had told me about his FWB, A. I hated to see my friend, K, in distress, so I told her that I thought I knew who this person was. I asked if her name might be A, and K said yes, that’s it! I told her that I knew of her through a mutual friend. I said she had lived with a man and she seemed to be in the process of moving out. That’s all I could share. This is where things got weird. I don’t remember how it all happened, but something along the lines of K and J exchanged words. She pressed me for where this knowledge I had came from, so I caved and told her D, but she could not say anything. D had become a bit distant and I was going to tell him, but figured why, if he wasn’t hanging around, I didn’t want to be involved in this. We were casual, nothing set in stone. A few days later, he was being odd and I said, it’s a small world, my friend’s ex is dating someone who drives this kind of car, has this kind of job, sounds just like A. I knew he didn’t know this, and probably still thought he had a chance with A because she was still leading him on even though he claimed he hadn’t seen her in person for months. He was surprised, I could tell he was pissed in the manner he responded. I stepped back and said I didn’t want to be involved in this shit show, I was just letting him know because he deserved to. Apparently A was dating J while still living with the long time boyfriend, but the long time boyfriend didn't know about J or D. D then reached out to the long time boyfriend and told him that A had been cheating on him for years (but failed to tell him that he was the one that A was cheating with, or one of the ones). D loves drama. He even admitted it. He confronted A, sent me a bunch of screen shots of their convo. They kept their convos secret on snapchat. The whole thing is so fucked up, that as I’m writing it out, I can’t believe I was even involved in something like this. I told D to keep me out of it, that I didn’t want to be involved in this. Eventually A moved to her own place and stayed in a relationship with J.
I kept my distance from D, but he would reach out every few days to remind me he was here. We remained friendly for a few months then embarked on what would become a year long relationship. It wasn’t something I planned or even wanted, but it happened and we spent a good amount of time together. Towards the end, I was getting tired of his low vibe energy, his racist, homophobic, transphobic, anti-semetic comments, his lack of engagement conversationally and his very narrow minded world view. He was 34, still living with his parents, with no intentions to leave, wouldn’t spend the night, was breadcrumbing me. I was seeing him for who he really was, not what I envisioned he was. What was I doing? I knew we had to break up, but I put it off. The last time I saw him, he was doing everything he could to turn me off. On his phone constantly (I’m now sure he was already talking with or seeing N, I had a feeling he was chatting with someone), vaping more than usual, the sex wasn’t as connected as it usually was, dropping snide comments, he was just off in a way that was not the him I knew at all. We texted a bit, then a few days later, I called him in the evening. He didn’t answer or call me back. The next night, I texted him that it seemed he was going out of his way to ignore me, so even though I felt our year together deserved a respectable parting, he obviously wasn’t going to give me that. And I was done. He texted immediately that he was going to call me back but he forgot and he was sorry he couldn’t give me more at this time, but he would like to remain friends and I could invite him to hike. Thanks for the good times. I ok’d it and that was it.
I didn’t hear from him at all. On my birthday a few weeks later, I saw a FB post he made about if your birthday is around now, that means your dad looked at your mom on Mother’s Day and said, you’re not a mother now, but I can make you one. It was so stupid. I texted him and said you didn’t have to do higher math to come up with that, you could have just said happy birthday. He responded that he knew a bunch of people with birthdays around then and that was for all of them but happy birthday. I told him thanks, then told him a bit about my new job, and that he was right, it was tiring because I still have my other job when i came home from the new one and sometimes was gone from 6am to 9pm. A while later, he sent me a wall of text, going on about how now imagine doing that 6 nights a week because someone (he was meaning me) wanted you to come over, and if he didn’t, that someone made him feel guilty and all of the work he had to do, and if he couldn’t hike or hang out on the weekend, again, the someone made him feel bad, etc. And if he didn’t comment or respond to every FB or insta post or text that someone got upset. I read it a few times and my response was, first, I don’t know whose house you’re going to 6 nights a week, but it’s not mine. And I don’t get upset if you don’t respond to everything because I rarely post and I wait days for texts sometimes. And this sounds like how you described N, not me, so keep us straight.
A week later, I see N interacting with D’s FB feed. Apparently she got unblocked. Did she reach out to him or him to her first? Just so happens she thought the birthday post was for her. It was all I could do to not comment on it, but I didn’t want to be a part of any of their drama, so I kept it to myself. D had something of mine, I asked for it back. He said he was so busy, he didn’t know when he could get it to me. I waited a week. Sure, I FB stalked N and saw that D had interacted with her stuff in an overly friendly manner. I’m not stupid and I’m more observant than I let on. So I contacted him for my item again and offered to come get it. He said he wouldn’t be home (it was a Monday night, he was always home on Monday nights - we rarely got together on Mondays because the few times we did, he was always in a mood, so I kept Mondays distant). I said i could meet him somewhere when he got home and that I just wanted to get this over with. He said he didn’t know what that meant, but ok. I said I notice that you’ve reacquainted yourself with N. That’s an interesting choice. I guess you’ll be at her house tonight. An hour later, he left the item by my back steps and sped away in his obnoxiously loud man child sportscar that he can only afford because he still lives with his parents. I called, he didn’t answer. I texted and asked if I needed to get an STD test and the only thing he said was “I never cheated on you.” Cheating to him just means he didn’t have sex with her while we were still together, but I don’t believe that either. Why would I? I deleted him immediately. He has a second FB profile that he uses just to snoop, and I let that one remain.
He had told me he would never get back together with an ex, especially N. He mentioned her once or twice, never with any enthusiasm, or any kind of empathy. She was easy to snag, a bit desperate. He had mentioned another woman who he was FB friends with. He had hung out with her once, but didn’t like the way she talked, but he said on more than one occasion, “I should date her and be really mean to her and see how long it takes for her to walk away”. People who think that way are not ok. They are off in the head. D really had very limited compassion and no moral compass. It took me a while to get over it, I think mostly because we didn’t have closure. We had split up for a week a few months into the relationship, and I asked for a convo, I just wanted to state a few things. We didn’t argue, I asked him questions, I felt settled and thanked him for allowing me that space to talk. We both agreed it was better when we communicated like that. He said he wasn’t happy about our parting and he would still like to see me. I agreed because it seemed like we had come to a mutual place of understanding, but we never had communication like that again. I wish he would have just broken things off earlier, instead of lining N up before he could fully disengage from me. He’s a complete coward and that along with him leaving the item by my back step proves it to me. He couldn’t be a man and look me in the eye. Maybe N is more his speed. Maybe she has the same narrow world views and disrespect for others of different races and religious beliefs. Maybe they are a match. But I wanted to let her know the kind of person he really is, and I think she knows. She just doesn't want to believe it, when honestly, having him as a partner is not a flex. Quite the opposite when you know the kind of person he is. I’ll bet he told N that I texted him non stop too, which I never did. D probably says all of his exes are crazy, now including me. If I ever run into D and N, I will happily hand my phone over and share his texts and screen shots so she can see the truth. Maybe she will stumble upon this, but I doubt it. Whether she believes it or not is up to her.

So the other day my 'bestfriend' had asked me for 60 dollars and I had told him no. He then said that's okay and then we stopped talking.
A few hours later I recive a text from my sister and my brother in-law asking if I was okay because I had texted them both "Hey" which I had not because I wasn't active for a good amount of time.
Then I had checked my messages on Facebook because some of my old friends and family were texting me (who I don't text alot anymore) and replying with "Okay maybe later" Or "No I don't have that amount of money."
I go to check all of the texts and I see that somone had hacked my phone and texted all my family and friends for 60 DOLLARS AND 30 DOLLARS. Once I saw that I knew exactly who it was. It was my 'bestfriend' I had asked him about it and he said that he works for satan and how he needs food. I then started yelling at him and blocked him everywhere. I changed the password to everything of mine and told someone about it.
Then today his boyfriend (my bestfriend) texted me telling me that my 'bestfriend' wants to say sorry for our past and that he didn't hack me for money apparently. I do not believe him because he's lied to me to many times and I can't trust him anymore. His boyfriend asked me to please unblock him but I said no.
Do you think I'm making a big deal about this.

So I'm not sure how to even go about telling this tale. It's something I've never even tried to do, not from the beginning, at least. I guess we'll start with how I first fell in love. I was young. 18. I'd never had a boyfriend, never had a boy look twice at me, at least to my knowledge. So my first love became the boy I was around so often. My brother's best friend at the time. Sick, I know. He was the first boy to ever show me affection. The first guy that ever made me feel sexy and beautiful. I fell slowly bit by agonizing bit. He held back for the longest time for a noble reason, I thought. He cared for me, but he and my brother were so close. I went down the route of okay, well, then let's just have sex. Nothing more. I was 18 and still a virgin. He would say things like, "I can't do that. I can't use you. I'd break you anyways you couldn't handle it." Funny, looking back, it was all its own little lore. Long story short, we finally had sex. Life moved forward, and I fell in love, and I thought maybe he was too. I was wrong. If you hadn't already guessed. I became a toy, for I'd say a year, maybe 2. Every day, I begged and asked, "Can't we just be together? You care about me. You say you do. So let's just be together. Let's tell everyone, " And each day I was met with a fight. "We're not together. We never will be!" Time went by, and this fight became the norm. And fights about me talking to other guys' fights about me not coming around when he wanted. I never got to come when I wanted. I only came when called. Like a dog. Again, time passed. The cycle continued. Drugs got involved, which only made things worse. I felt neglected. I talked to people everyone told me to move on. So I did every so slightly. I fucked my other brothers best friend. Great sister here. Trust me, I know. Of Crouse, the first guy found out, and things got crazy. he threatened me. I got scared and called my sister in law aka my very best friend. She saved me that night. And for my best guess, about 4 years, we never spoke he left me be. He moved on. after making my life mental torture for 2 years, it was like I disappeared. Which was fine, really better than you'd ever expect. my sister in law threatened him, of course, so maybe that had something to do with it, and he was intensely afraid of my brothers. And so again, time passed, and I dated other people. Nothing ever worked out. All of them as painful as last and just as filled with bad choices. All until one summer, he came back. Last summer, I was beginning again. Like I've done so many times. I was back at my first job again looking for a fresh start from the beginning. That's when I heard from him for the first time in a long time. My brother and he had stopped being friends maybe a year before. My brother called him manipulative and a dick to say the least. But when he contacted me, I felt things had changed. That he had finally changed and for the better. the fact he was contacting me again wanting me back, I thought it was fate. I'd be with my first love, the man who took everything from me, we'd get married and be together. The whole time yard's. Fucking stupid that's what I was. What I am.. We fell back together slowly but surly. I fell in love, and he got control. The summer passed in a wave of drugs. He never told me he loved me he never put forth any effort to be near my family. All he wanted was control over me. He shrunk away at the idea of coming to my home being near my brother he ex best friend and my roommate. Time passed, and I realized I wasn't much more than a bank for him. I'd forgotten to mention in the time we spent apart he hadn't worked for 4 years. His mom took care of it all. I did everything I could. I was there all the time I made food, I cleaned the house, and I kept his dog fed. I tried to show him everything. It never mattered. The only thing that mattered was how I "cheated" on him all those years ago. I had never thought of it as cheating seeing as he said we weren't together and loved to talk about how hot other girls were. He would bring up past relationships while he and I weren't together like I got with these people just to antagonize him. So as summer went on, I got exhausted. So fucking exhausted how do you show someone you love them when all they see are the faults? He well really I can't just blame him, but we drained my bank account buying drugs. I got tired of it, and I left. I told him to leave me, be that I was done being used. This was around Thanksgiving. He didn't take it well. I blocked him after about the 30th message. That didn't stop him he messaged through friends Facebook or with their phone numbers. I blocked so many people. But it didn't stop the messages kept coming. And so by Christmas, I caved. Don't know why he'd admitted to coming out and driving by my house told me how he could see my Christmas tree in my window. And still I caved. Because who would do this for someone they didn't love? Who would keep trying for someone they wanted to treat badly? I got my answer. I went back only to be accused of cheating and lying. He'd call me a bitch and whore and a cunt. He'd done all this in the messages, too, before the begging started. I should've listened and not fallen for the begging. But he'd tell me all I wanted to hear how he loved me and wanted to be with me wanted my kids. So I fell for this over and over and over again. Until not long ago just a few months I tried to leave, and we got into a fight. I wanted to go with him to ride with his friends. He didn't want me to. Would've been fine with that honestly but as soon as he saw I was disappointed the fight started. I tried to leave his home. we yelled his neighbors threatened to call the police. I ran he hit my car tried to yank the doors open. Once I finally thought I'd gotten away he started chasing me. Chased me down his road at probably 70 in a 45 mind you and swerved in front of me almost wrecking us both. He proceeded to get out of the car ignoring me sobbing and started screaming at me through the window and asking me to come back. Once I agreed he proceeded to do burnouts in front of me. I followed him back he took me riding with his friends I got what I wanted in the end I guess. But after this I got scared. If you can do that what else can you do? I left again not long later because it just didn't seem to matter what I did. nothing was enough. I left I blocked him. It wasn't enough he found ways to contact me. And today he contacted family of mine to get ahold of me. He waited out near my house by a restaurant and followed me home. I ran I didn't know what to do I didn't want him and my brother to get into a fight because no matter what, I still somehow care about him. He stopped me in the middle of the road wouldn't leave until I agreed to unblock him and to give him a hug. I feel disgusting he kissed me. I want him to leave me alone. I know this is my fault I led him on again and again by coming back. I just wanted him to change. I wanted him to love me. I just wasn't enough and I won't be ever. Why won't he just let me go? He could move on and find someone new to use. I know I have a problem too I've gone back again and again and made it normal for him. I just want to be free now though this has gone on so long. I know he doesn't love me I just don't know how he can say it when he doesn't. I'm not sure what I'm really asking for here maybe validation or maybe just encouragement that I'm doing the right thing. I coukd go into more detail really he's done so much to me but it's hard looking back. I just I really need to know that me leaving is the right thing.

TW for s/h mentions, self end mentions, and abuse mentions
Obligatory clarification that this was a few months ago, I just regularly feel guilty about it and wanted to see if I'm right in feeling that guilt. Also, apologies in advance since I think this is going to be a long post.
I(20ftm) was abused in multiple ways by my stepfather(46m). I filed a case against him two years ago, which finally got picked up after my younger sister(16f) ran away from the house. During these two years, no one in the family talked to me, as he convinced everyone that I was a liar, a manipulator, and was doing everything as an act of revenge on him for "treating me with the respect I deserved". He was sentenced last October to 15 years in prison, and then they began to investigate my mother(38f) because she knew about the physical/verbal/mental abuse of all of us kids(there were five of us, ages will be given as children are mentioned), and about the s/xual abuse toward me. I live out in Arizona, however when my mother lost custody of our siblings, my older sister(25f), who well call Molly, reached out to me asking if I would be willing to come back up to Ohio, my home state, to help her take temporary custody of the children. The plan was that I would come back up to Ohio, live with my old roommates, get a job, and watch the children in the morning to get them on the bus and afternoon until Molly got home from work. This was something that was agreed upon by everyone, and it was decided that due to a job opportunity I would be going back to Arizona in three months. I immediately explained to everyone involved that I would not flake out on these plans unless my mental health got to a point where I was actively considering self ending. Molly requested that she get "some sort of notice" before something like that we're to happen, and I told her that the best I could do was actively pointing out signs of mental health decline as they happened so she would know where I was in my headspace, to which she agreed.
Fast forward to the day I'm to fly up, and I get a call from Molly. She explains that our grandmother is giving her her old house in exchange for the childcare until my mother got out of jail should the worst case scenario happen, and she wanted to know if I could live in full time with her. In exchange she would pay my way through driving school and get me a car off Facebook marketplace, which would roughly equal out to three months of paid labor. She explained that I wouldn't have to do any chores(though it would be nice) and she would support me financially so that I didn't need to get a job(though I also could if I wanted to) and I could put my full time and care toward the children. This seemed like a fair deal to me, so I agreed. We talked about a few other minor details, such as my room(I wouldn't have one, and would be sleeping in the corner of the living room) and food(I requested that she get healthy food because eating excessive amounts of junk food triggers my ED, which she agreed to but more on that later).
I fly up and reconnect with all of my siblings(I hadn't talked to any of them in person since the incident two years ago), and talk with a close friend of mine, who I'll call Buddy. Buddy expressed that he didn't think that me moving in full time with Molly was a good idea, and tried to imply that she might try and take advantage of me while I was there and overstep boundaries. I told him that I trusted her not to do so, and she and I had agreed that I would be spending weekends with him at his place to decompress and regularly assess my mental health. This was almost immediately backtracked by Molly, saying she didn't expect me to actually take the whole weekend and she requested Saturdays to be her "day off", which I agreed to. About a week and a half after I arrived and was settled in, we started having violence issues with the youngest(10m), and they were mostly directed toward me. We assumed that this was because my stepfather had fed the kids a story about how I had left because I didn't care about them, and he was too young to understand the truth of the situation. Molly was very attentive to my needs at first, making sure to buy fruits and vegetables as well as having the children upstairs by 9 pm so that I could have some private time to relax each night. All was good other than the violent outbursts from the youngest(who I'll nickname Chris).
After about a month, we had to give Chris to an aunt due to the violent outbursts becoming more frequent and the police having to be called several times just to get him to stop attacking me. I explained to Molly that it was affecting me pretty badly, and she and I sat down and talked it out, deciding I wasn't at a point that I needed to leave yet, however if we kept him I would be. So we let Chris go up to my aunts, who we'll call Aunt Hayley. After that things calmed down in the household, with there only being two major fights between the remaining three children. During this time, Molly began to talk about how stressed she was about finances, as well as she signed up for a college course and got a boyfriend. I didn't see this as a big deal at the time, but it compiled with everything else. Molly began coming home at 6-7 and immediately going to her room, and I would end up keeping watch of the children for the remainder of the night. This didn't bother me too much at the time, as I saw it as helping her, however I could. Before this, she and I had pretty evenly split chores, with both of us doing dishes, laundry, and trash periodically. Once she began this college course, I took up the entirety of the dishes, laundry for all of the children, and majority of trash. Molly tended to her room and mandated when the children cleaned their rooms and their upstairs bathroom, but other than that was in her room either doing classwork or hanging out with her boyfriend. During this time she also stopped getting the healthier foods, despite me helping with grocery lists and requesting healthier foods, opting instead for snacks or frozen foods such as pizzas, hot pockets, bagel bites, etc. This upset me seeing as I had already explained to her my issues with said foods, but I didn't feel I had a right to make comment seeing as she was still financially supporting me.
During this time, my no contact order with my mother was lifted, and I agreed to speak with her again, seeing as she had eventually denounced her borderline worship of my stepfather and told the police everything, and was now in therapy and parenting classes. To be clear, from the moment I had arrived in Ohio, I had wanted nothing to do with her, and the only reason I had agreed to talk to her was to give her one last opportunity to man up and explain everything properly. She did, and as I had suspected, he had been severely abusing her in every way as well. I still didn't trust her, but I decided to give her a second chance at a relationship on the condition that she not bring any more men into my siblings lives until they were all 18 or older(which she agreed to). I began to visit her semi-regularly, and Molly and I agreed that I would go to her house Saturday nights for dinner, seeing as I was already going to Buddy's around 7 pm Saturday nights anyway, which meant it wouldn't really change any of Molly's plans. At this time I began having a friend over, who we'll call Max. Max is a close friend of mine since middle school, and Molly approved him to be around any time, however I only really had him around on Tuesdays due to his work schedule. As soon as Max met Molly, he said he didn't really like the way she talked to me, and when I didn't understand(I have autism) he explained that a lot of how she speaks to me sounds like she's talking down to/making fun of me, and that when I say something she doesn't seem to take me seriously. I brushed this off, thinking that it was just him not being used to her somewhat abrasive personality.
Molly continued to complain about finances, and I continued searching for a job as I had been since I got there, and then came the first weird incident during this. One day Molly said that our mother had offered her a motorcycle, but that she had a feeling that she wouldn't actually give it to her, and so she was going to go buy her own. I didn't mention how counter intuitive this was to her finance problem, though I should have in hindsight. She also went out that weekend to get her nails and hair professionally done(which she had told me at one point all together was around $200), as well as I believe the next weekend to get a $180 tattoo shaded. Seeing as Molly had gone out and bought a motorcycle, my mother instead offered me the bike, which I accepted. Molly then began making comments about how she knew my mother was going to give me the bike, and that was why she had gone out and gotten her own(despite the fact that I had asked for the bike before I knew it was supposed to be given to Molly, and was told only if she didn't want it because she got first dibs).
During the last month, my mental health began to hit the decline I had warned Molly about. I informed her of when it became hard to get out of bed, when I was having guilt or s/h urges, and then eventually I reached a point where I requested she take back up at least some responsibility of dishes and laundry because my mental health couldn't handle it. She got somewhat indignant about this, saying that because I was living there rent free I should be doing the majority of the chores. By this time, I had very much seen what Max had been saying about her talking down to me, however I wasn't in the mental state to go against her, so I just reiterated that I really wasn't doing well. She said that her classwork, job, and social life wouldn't allow her to have time for it, and since I had none of those I didn't have any reason to feel the way I was. At this point, Buddy and my two old roommates(who we'll call Rat and Iroh) started insisting that I should go back to the original plan and only go down in mornings and until she got home from work, however I felt obligated to help her so I stayed. They repeatedly reminded me that she still hadn't followed through on any of her promises regarding driving school, car, or respecting my triggers. I continued to stay, partially to help her and partially because I knew at this point that it would backfire on the children as well if I left.
Two weeks before I was supposed to leave, Molly pulled me aside and told me that due to financial concerns, she would be letting the children go to a foster home in two weeks, once I left. This confused me seeing as a) I hadn't been bringing in any financials, and b) she insisted on keeping the 16 year old(who I'll call Fiona) but refused to keep the other two, because (in her own words) "Fiona is the easiest to handle". I felt as if I was to blame for this because the way Molly had presented it to me made it seem like the only reason she was letting the children go was because I was leaving, and a few days earlier she had been trying to push "if you could only stay another month". This plummeted my mental health, and about a week later(a week before my stay was supposed to end) I hit the point of actively wanting to self end. I informed her of this, and she got cold with me, saying she wished I had told her sooner. I reminded her that I had vocalized every step for things going down hill, and she insisted that it wasnt enough and I should have given her more notice, as well as claiming she could have done this whole thing without me and that I was more trouble than I was worth at points. She then started saying that I had only come back to get close to our mother and that I didn't actually care about her or the children(as I said, I hated my mother when I arrived). I told her that I would stay till that Friday night as it was Thursday and I didn't want to force her to try to find last minute childcare so late at night. At some point in this conversation we got a call from the middle(14nb, whom we'll call Sora) child's school saying that Sora had assaulted another student. This student had been making fun of Sora for months, claiming that they deserved the abuse they went through and that she hoped my stepfather got out of jail so that he could hurt Sora worse. I requested Molly not be too intense on the punishment, seeing as this had been an ongoing issue that had been brought to both the principal and Molly's attention, and been brushed off by both. Molly started beating me about how disgusting it was that I was condoning violence, and I clarified that while I didn't condone it, this situation had been hard enough on Sora. At this point in time, I had had enough and told her that if she didn't want my input and wanted to belittle me and "put me in my place", then she could put her money where her mouth was about being able to do this without me and I would leave that night. She said fine, but that she knew I wasn't actually wanting to end myself and was just using it as a convenient out of the situation. I began to pack. As soon as she got home she said that I had been taking her tone wrong, and that she hadn't meant to attack me. She then started saying that I wasn't screwing her over in this, I was screwing the children over. This was while the children were out of the house, and I did raise my voice, telling her that I wasn't trying to screw anyone over, I was following exactly the boundaries I had set, as I should have from the beginning. Buddy came and picked me up, and I went and spent the night with my mother.
The next day I was informed that Molly had told our caseworker that I had bailed, and that the children were to be picked up the next day(all except Fiona, who would stay in Molly's care and eventually the possibility of Molly adopting her was discussed). That Friday was the court case which was to decide what was to happen with my mother. Molly had expressed throughout this entire process that she didn't want my mother to go to jail, and that she would do almost anything to keep her out. The prosecutors had also expressed that they didn't want her to get a full 3 year sentence. During the court proceedings, Molly was the only one in the room requesting the maximum sentence for my mother, and during her speech was consistently deadnaming and misgendering me, which no one else in the court room was doing. My mother walked out with a 60 day sentence, which wasn't terrible, but the damage was done to mine and Molly's relationship, seeing as it was already strained before I found out she had been lying to me for months about her stances on this. She and I had had several conversations about this, while I hated my mother and whole I was healing my relationship with her, and her stance of wanting her to stay out of jail had never wavered. I unfollowed her on most medias, but kept her unblocked on everything. Three days before I was supposed to leave, I realized that my leather jacket and my keys to my boyfriend's collar were still at her house, and I tried to contact her to ask for them back. I texted her twice, neither of which she responded to, and then Buddy called her. She claimed she hadn't seen them, but refused to let us come over to look for them, despite the fact that the last time I had seen either one was in the house because I had been too depressed to leave the house. She continuously refused to let me come check, or even let someone else come check, claiming that she didn't trust me to put things back the way they were, despite me never showing any inclination of touching anything that wasn't mine. I went to text her again on the matter and found that she had blocked me on all platforms. Shortly after this Fiona would start claiming the same things about me not actually wanting to end myself and just using it as an excuse, showing that she had been talking to Molly about this, and her views on pretty much everything shifted to Molly's views. This caused a rift to the point that while I have strong contact with my other siblings, I don't have much contact with Fiona.
I feel as though it was wrong to leave the children in the situation they were in, and I desperately wish I could have done more to help, but I knew that once I hit that mental state I was no longer safe to be around them and only ran the risk of traumatizing them further if I had stayed.

I(28F) have been friends with with Kevin(26M) for almost 4yrs. I’ve been with my boyfriend Daniel(24M) for 4yrs so naturally Daniel & Kevin became close like brothers. Daniel, Kevin & I have been living together for 3yrs. Kevin has been dating Natalie(22F) for less than a year.

 At first we loved having her over she was sweet,talkative, friendly and I was looking forward to having a new girl friend. Until we started to notice her toxic behavior. I’ll give some examples: she goes thru his phone, if he came to our house instead of hanging out in the living room with the rest of us she’d go to Kevin’s room and if he didn’t follow her she’d pick a fight, if he didn’t respond to her texts sometimes he did warn her ahead of time cuz he’d be busy with work, school or helping us out with something she’d blow up his phone and would cry and yell hysterically, if he had class on her day off she would sit in her car in the school’s parking lot for the 5hrs he’d be in class. What really concerned me was she went thru his posts, likes and comments on Instagram, she began to stalk and harass (a girl he actually knew not a random girl) cuz he made too many comments on her posts( long before they got together). She ended her friendship with Kevin cuz of Natalie’s harassment. After noticing this behavior we have asked him if he’s happy he admitted he isn’t but isn’t willing to give up on their relationship. We don’t want to butt in and give advice cuz we don’t think it’s our place and we don’t want her to think we’re advising him to break up with her. But later Daniel found out that she looks down on our relationship cuz of our sense of humor and how we shit talk to each other and she has called Daniel some derogatory names cuz after hanging out Kevin didn’t go to her car right away cuz he got caught up in a conversation with Daniel(not about her). She later “apologized” and claimed she said it out of anger. Then I noticed that when I would text Kevin about household related things (ie rent & chores) he wouldn’t text me but would tell Daniel the answer to my question and ask him to pass it to me. I admit I became paranoid that Natalie was stalking my social media even though she knows who I am and that I’m with Daniel but my concerns got the best of me so I blocked her. A few days after I blocked Natalie I tried to message Kevin on Facebook and it said “15 mutual friends. You and Kevin are not friends on Facebook” so I told Daniel and he questioned Kevin about it & he had no clue. It turns out that Natalie went thru his social media and unfriended me on all his accounts cuz I blocked her, she claimed she did it out of anger. I unblocked her and limited my contact with Kevin to ease her issues. But he hasn’t tried to add me back or replied to my texts but will still answer them thru Daniel, nor has she tried to apologize for going thru his social media. I felt like she put an end to our friendship so I sent him a lengthy text apologizing for blocking Natalie cuz I didn’t know it would trigger her, that I couldn’t continue being friends with him due to Natalie’s toxic behavior and me feeling unsafe & uncomfortable and I would block him to ease her issues. He replied saying that this is coming out of nowhere, how Natalie never had an issue with me, that she wasn’t stalking my social media, claimed I only blocked her after finding out what she said about Daniel, she’s never done anything to make me feel unsafe or uncomfortable and that she’s always been respectful. I haven’t responded. AITAH for ending our friendship? 

So I'm not sure how to even go about telling this tale. It's something I've never even tried to do, not from the beginning, at least. I guess we'll start with how I first fell in love. I was young. 18. I'd never had a boyfriend, never had a boy look twice at me, at least to my knowledge. So my first love became the boy I was around so often. My brother's best friend at the time. Sick, I know. He was the first boy to ever show me affection. The first guy that ever made me feel sexy and beautiful. I fell slowly bit by agonizing bit. He held back for the longest time for a noble reason, I thought. He cared for me, but he and my brother were so close. I went down the route of okay, well, then let's just have sex. Nothing more. I was 18 and still a virgin. He would say things like, "I can't do that. I can't use you. I'd break you anyways you couldn't handle it." Funny, looking back, it was all its own little lore. Long story short, we finally had sex. Life moved forward, and I fell in love, and I thought maybe he was too. I was wrong. If you hadn't already guessed. I became a toy, for I'd say a year, maybe 2. Every day, I begged and asked, "Can't we just be together? You care about me. You say you do. So let's just be together. Let's tell everyone, " And each day I was met with a fight. "We're not together. We never will be!" Time went by, and this fight became the norm. And fights about me talking to other guys' fights about me not coming around when he wanted. I never got to come when I wanted. I only came when called. Like a dog. Again, time passed. The cycle continued. Drugs got involved, which only made things worse. I felt neglected. I talked to people everyone told me to move on. So I did every so slightly. I fucked my other brothers best friend. Great sister here. Trust me, I know. Of Crouse, the foray guy found out, and things got crazy. he threatened me. I got scared and called my sister in law aka my very best friend. She saved me that night. And for my best guess, about 4 years, we never spoke he left me be. He moved on. after making my life mental torture for 2 years, it was like I disappeared. Which was fine, really better than you'd ever expect. my sister in law threatened him, of course, so maybe that had something to do with it, and he was intensely afraid of my brothers. And so again, time passed, and I dated other people. Nothing ever worked out. All of them as painful as last and just as filled with bad choices. All until one summer, he came back. Last summer, I was beginning again. Like I've done so many times. I was back at my first job again looking for a fresh start from the beginning. That's when I heard from him for the first time in a long time. My brother and he had stopped being friends maybe a year before. My brother called him manipulative and a dick to say the least. But when he contacted me, I felt things had changed. That he had finally changed and for the better. the fact he was contacting me again wanting me back, I thought it was fate. I'd be with my first love, the man who took everything from me, we'd get married and be together. The whole time yard's. Fucking stupid that's what I was. What I am.. We fell back together slowly but surly. I fell in love, and he got control. The summer passed in a wave of drugs. He never told me he loved me he never put forth any effort to be near my family. All he wanted was control over me. He shrunk away at the idea of coming to my home being near my brother he ex best friend and my roommate. Time passed, and I realized I wasn't much more than a bank for him. I'd forgotten to mention in the time we spent apart he hadn't worked for 4 years. His mom took care of it all. I did everything I could. I was there all the time I made food, I cleaned the house, and I kept his dog fed. I tried to show him everything. It never mattered. The only thing that mattered was how I "cheated" on him all those years ago. I had never thought of it as cheating seeing as he said we weren't together and loved to talk about how hot other girls were. He would bring up past relationships while he and I weren't together like I got with these people just to antagonize him. So as summer went on, I got exhausted. So fucking exhausted how do you show someone you love them when all they see are the faults? He well really I can't just blame him, but we drained my bank account buying drugs. I got tired of it, and I left. I told him to leave me, be that I was done being used. This was around Thanksgiving. He didn't take it well. I blocked him after about the 30th message. That didn't stop him he messaged through friends Facebook or with their phone numbers. I blocked so many people. But it didn't stop the messages kept coming. And so by Christmas, I caved. Don't know why he'd admitted to coming out and driving by my house told me how he could see my Christmas tree in my window. And still I caved. Because who would do this for someone they didn't love? Who would keep trying for someone they wanted to treat badly? I got my answer. I went back only to be accused of cheating and lying. He'd call me a bitch and whore and a cunt. He'd done all this in the messages, too, before the begging started. I should've listened and not fallen for the begging. But he'd tell me all I wanted to hear how he loved me and wanted to be with me wanted my kids. So I fell for this over and over and over again. Until not long ago just a few months I tried to leave, and we got into a fight. I wanted to go with him to ride with his friends. He didn't want me to. Would've been fine with that honestly but as soon as he saw I was disappointed the fight started. I tried to leave his home. we yelled his neighbors threatened to call the police. I ran he hit my car tried to yank the doors open. Once I finally thought I'd gotten away he started chasing me. Chased me down his road at probably 70 in a 45 mind you and swerved in front of me almost wrecking us both. He proceeded to get out of the car ignoring me sobbing and started screaming at me through the window and asking me to come back. Once I agreed he proceeded to do burnouts in front of me. I followed him back he took me riding with his friends I got what I wanted in the end I guess. But after this I got scared. If you can do that what else can you do? I left again not long later because it just didn't seem to matter what I did. nothing was enough. I left I blocked him. It wasn't enough he found ways to contact me. And today he contacted family of mine to get ahold of me. He waited out near my house by a restaurant and followed me home. I ran I didn't know what to do I didn't want him and my brother to get into a fight because no matter what, I still somehow care about him. He stopped me in the middle of the road wouldn't leave until I agreed to unblock him and to give him a hug. I feel disgusting he kissed me. I want him to leave me alone. I know this is my fault I led him on again and again by coming back. I just wanted him to change. I wanted him to love me. I just wasn't enough and I won't be ever. Why won't he just let me go? He could move on and find someone new to use. I know I have a problem too I've gone back again and again and made it normal for him. I just want to be free now though this has gone on so long. I know he doesn't love me I just don't know how he can say it when he doesn't. I'm not sure what I'm really asking for here maybe validation or maybe just encouragement that I'm doing the right thing. I coukd go into more detail really he's done so much to me but it's hard looking back. I just I really need to know that me leaving is the right thing.

So I'm not sure how to even go about telling this tale. It's something I've never even tried to do, not from the beginning, at least. I guess we'll start with how I first fell in love. I was young. 18. I'd never had a boyfriend, never had a boy look twice at me, at least to my knowledge. So my first love became the boy I was around so often. My brother's best friend at the time. Sick, I know. He was the first boy to ever show me affection. The first guy that ever made me feel sexy and beautiful. I fell slowly bit by agonizing bit. He held back for the longest time for a noble reason, I thought. He cared for me, but he and my brother were so close. I went down the route of okay, well, then let's just have sex. Nothing more. I was 18 and still a virgin. He would say things like, "I can't do that. I can't use you. I'd break you anyways you couldn't handle it." Funny, looking back, it was all its own little lore. Long story short, we finally had sex. Life moved forward, and I fell in love, and I thought maybe he was too. I was wrong. If you hadn't already guessed. I became a toy, for I'd say a year, maybe 2. Every day, I begged and asked, "Can't we just be together? You care about me. You say you do. So let's just be together. Let's tell everyone, " And each day I was met with a fight. "We're not together. We never will be!" Time went by, and this fight became the norm. And fights about me talking to other guys' fights about me not coming around when he wanted. I never got to come when I wanted. I only came when called. Like a dog. Again, time passed. The cycle continued. Drugs got involved, which only made things worse. I felt neglected. I talked to people everyone told me to move on. So I did every so slightly. I fucked my other brothers best friend. Great sister here. Trust me, I know. Of Crouse, the foray guy found out, and things got crazy. he threatened me. I got scared and called my sister in law aka my very best friend. She saved me that night. And for my best guess, about 4 years, we never spoke he left me be. He moved on. after making my life mental torture for 2 years, it was like I disappeared. Which was fine, really better than you'd ever expect. my sister in law threatened him, of course, so maybe that had something to do with it, and he was intensely afraid of my brothers. And so again, time passed, and I dated other people. Nothing ever worked out. All of them as painful as last and just as filled with bad choices. All until one summer, he came back. Last summer, I was beginning again. Like I've done so many times. I was back at my first job again looking for a fresh start from the beginning. That's when I heard from him for the first time in a long time. My brother and he had stopped being friends maybe a year before. My brother called him manipulative and a dick to say the least. But when he contacted me, I felt things had changed. That he had finally changed and for the better. the fact he was contacting me again wanting me back, I thought it was fate. I'd be with my first love, the man who took everything from me, we'd get married and be together. The whole time yard's. Fucking stupid that's what I was. What I am.. We fell back together slowly but surly. I fell in love, and he got control. The summer passed in a wave of drugs. He never told me he loved me he never put forth any effort to be near my family. All he wanted was control over me. He shrunk away at the idea of coming to my home being near my brother he ex best friend and my roommate. Time passed, and I realized I wasn't much more than a bank for him. I'd forgotten to mention in the time we spent apart he hadn't worked for 4 years. His mom took care of it all. I did everything I could. I was there all the time I made food, I cleaned the house, and I kept his dog fed. I tried to show him everything. It never mattered. The only thing that mattered was how I "cheated" on him all those years ago. I had never thought of it as cheating seeing as he said we weren't together and loved to talk about how hot other girls were. He would bring up past relationships while he and I weren't together like I got with these people just to antagonize him. So as summer went on, I got exhausted. So fucking exhausted how do you show someone you love them when all they see are the faults? He well really I can't just blame him, but we drained my bank account buying drugs. I got tired of it, and I left. I told him to leave me, be that I was done being used. This was around Thanksgiving. He didn't take it well. I blocked him after about the 30th message. That didn't stop him he messaged through friends Facebook or with their phone numbers. I blocked so many people. But it didn't stop the messages kept coming. And so by Christmas, I caved. Don't know why he'd admitted to coming out and driving by my house told me how he could see my Christmas tree in my window. And still I caved. Because who would do this for someone they didn't love? Who would keep trying for someone they wanted to treat badly? I got my answer. I went back only to be accused of cheating and lying. He'd call me a bitch and whore and a cunt. He'd done all this in the messages, too, before the begging started. I should've listened and not fallen for the begging. But he'd tell me all I wanted to hear how he loved me and wanted to be with me wanted my kids. So I fell for this over and over and over again. Until not long ago just a few months I tried to leave, and we got into a fight. I wanted to go with him to ride with his friends. He didn't want me to. Would've been fine with that honestly but as soon as he saw I was disappointed the fight started. I tried to leave his home. we yelled his neighbors threatened to call the police. I ran he hit my car tried to yank the doors open. Once I finally thought I'd gotten away he started chasing me. Chased me down his road at probably 70 in a 45 mind you and swerved in front of me almost wrecking us both. He proceeded to get out of the car ignoring me sobbing and started screaming at me through the window and asking me to come back. Once I agreed he proceeded to do burnouts in front of me. I followed him back he took me riding with his friends I got what I wanted in the end I guess. But after this I got scared. If you can do that what else can you do? I left again not long later because it just didn't seem to matter what I did. nothing was enough. I left I blocked him. It wasn't enough he found ways to contact me. And today he contacted family of mine to get ahold of me. He waited out near my house by a restaurant and followed me home. I ran I didn't know what to do I didn't want him and my brother to get into a fight because no matter what, I still somehow care about him. He stopped me in the middle of the road wouldn't leave until I agreed to unblock him and to give him a hug. I feel disgusting he kissed me. I want him to leave me alone. I know this is my fault I led him on again and again by coming back. I just wanted him to change. I wanted him to love me. I just wasn't enough and I won't be ever. Why won't he just let me go? He could move on and find someone new to use. I know I have a problem too I've gone back again and again and made it normal for him. I just want to be free now though this has gone on so long. I know he doesn't love me I just don't know how he can say it when he doesn't. I'm not sure what I'm really asking for here maybe validation or maybe just encouragement that I'm doing the right thing. I coukd go into more detail really he's done so much to me but it's hard looking back. I just I really need to know that me leaving is the right thing.

So I'm not sure how to even go about telling this tale. It's something I've never even tried to do, not from the beginning, at least. I guess we'll start with how I first fell in love. I was young. 18. I'd never had a boyfriend, never had a boy look twice at me, at least to my knowledge. So my first love became the boy I was around so often. My brother's best friend at the time. Sick, I know. He was the first boy to ever show me affection. The first guy that ever made me feel sexy and beautiful. I fell slowly bit by agonizing bit. He held back for the longest time for a noble reason, I thought. He cared for me, but he and my brother were so close. I went down the route of okay, well, then let's just have sex. Nothing more. I was 18 and still a virgin. He would say things like, "I can't do that. I can't use you. I'd break you anyways you couldn't handle it." Funny, looking back, it was all its own little lore. Long story short, we finally had sex. Life moved forward, and I fell in love, and I thought maybe he was too. I was wrong. If you hadn't already guessed. I became a toy, for I'd say a year, maybe 2. Every day, I begged and asked, "Can't we just be together? You care about me. You say you do. So let's just be together. Let's tell everyone, " And each day I was met with a fight. "We're not together. We never will be!" Time went by, and this fight became the norm. And fights about me talking to other guys' fights about me not coming around when he wanted. I never got to come when I wanted. I only came when called. Like a dog. Again, time passed. The cycle continued. Drugs got involved, which only made things worse. I felt neglected. I talked to people everyone told me to move on. So I did every so slightly. I fucked my other brothers best friend. Great sister here. Trust me, I know. Of Crouse, the foray guy found out, and things got crazy. he threatened me. I got scared and called my sister in law aka my very best friend. She saved me that night. And for my best guess, about 4 years, we never spoke he left me be. He moved on. after making my life mental torture for 2 years, it was like I disappeared. Which was fine, really better than you'd ever expect. my sister in law threatened him, of course, so maybe that had something to do with it, and he was intensely afraid of my brothers. And so again, time passed, and I dated other people. Nothing ever worked out. All of them as painful as last and just as filled with bad choices. All until one summer, he came back. Last summer, I was beginning again. Like I've done so many times. I was back at my first job again looking for a fresh start from the beginning. That's when I heard from him for the first time in a long time. My brother and he had stopped being friends maybe a year before. My brother called him manipulative and a dick to say the least. But when he contacted me, I felt things had changed. That he had finally changed and for the better. the fact he was contacting me again wanting me back, I thought it was fate. I'd be with my first love, the man who took everything from me, we'd get married and be together. The whole time yard's. Fucking stupid that's what I was. What I am.. We fell back together slowly but surly. I fell in love, and he got control. The summer passed in a wave of drugs. He never told me he loved me he never put forth any effort to be near my family. All he wanted was control over me. He shrunk away at the idea of coming to my home being near my brother he ex best friend and my roommate. Time passed, and I realized I wasn't much more than a bank for him. I'd forgotten to mention in the time we spent apart he hadn't worked for 4 years. His mom took care of it all. I did everything I could. I was there all the time I made food, I cleaned the house, and I kept his dog fed. I tried to show him everything. It never mattered. The only thing that mattered was how I "cheated" on him all those years ago. I had never thought of it as cheating seeing as he said we weren't together and loved to talk about how hot other girls were. He would bring up past relationships while he and I weren't together like I got with these people just to antagonize him. So as summer went on, I got exhausted. So fucking exhausted how do you show someone you love them when all they see are the faults? He well really I can't just blame him, but we drained my bank account buying drugs. I got tired of it, and I left. I told him to leave me, be that I was done being used. This was around Thanksgiving. He didn't take it well. I blocked him after about the 30th message. That didn't stop him he messaged through friends Facebook or with their phone numbers. I blocked so many people. But it didn't stop the messages kept coming. And so by Christmas, I caved. Don't know why he'd admitted to coming out and driving by my house told me how he could see my Christmas tree in my window. And still I caved. Because who would do this for someone they didn't love? Who would keep trying for someone they wanted to treat badly? I got my answer. I went back only to be accused of cheating and lying. He'd call me a bitch and whore and a cunt. He'd done all this in the messages, too, before the begging started. I should've listened and not fallen for the begging. But he'd tell me all I wanted to hear how he loved me and wanted to be with me wanted my kids. So I fell for this over and over and over again. Until not long ago just a few months I tried to leave, and we got into a fight. I wanted to go with him to ride with his friends. He didn't want me to. Would've been fine with that honestly but as soon as he saw I was disappointed the fight started. I tried to leave his home. we yelled his neighbors threatened to call the police. I ran he hit my car tried to yank the doors open. Once I finally thought I'd gotten away he started chasing me. Chased me down his road at probably 70 in a 45 mind you and swerved in front of me almost wrecking us both. He proceeded to get out of the car ignoring me sobbing and started screaming at me through the window and asking me to come back. Once I agreed he proceeded to do burnouts in front of me. I followed him back he took me riding with his friends I got what I wanted in the end I guess. But after this I got scared. If you can do that what else can you do? I left again not long later because it just didn't seem to matter what I did. nothing was enough. I left I blocked him. It wasn't enough he found ways to contact me. And today he contacted family of mine to get ahold of me. He waited out near my house by a restaurant and followed me home. I ran I didn't know what to do I didn't want him and my brother to get into a fight because no matter what, I still somehow care about him. He stopped me in the middle of the road wouldn't leave until I agreed to unblock him and to give him a hug. I feel disgusting he kissed me. I want him to leave me alone. I know this is my fault I led him on again and again by coming back. I just wanted him to change. I wanted him to love me. I just wasn't enough and I won't be ever. Why won't he just let me go? He could move on and find someone new to use. I know I have a problem too I've gone back again and again and made it normal for him. I just want to be free now though this has gone on so long. I know he doesn't love me I just don't know how he can say it when he doesn't. I'm not sure what I'm really asking for here maybe validation or maybe just encouragement that I'm doing the right thing. I coukd go into more detail really he's done so much to me but it's hard looking back. I just I really need to know that me leaving is the right thing.

Long story short i ( 21F) made a bad decision, dated someone (20M) for approximately 9 months, chalked up the manipulative behaviors to trauma and stayed longer than i shouldve
Context that may matter, he lives in another province, has visited, knows my adress
When i left he started blowing up on me and when i didnt respond how he wanted it escalated, he started being aggressive berating me and calling me a narcissit, he has been calling my phone multiple times a day, when I change number he makes new ones, started messaging my loved ones, posting About me non-stop, lies, calling me crazy and delusional, text messages with whatever context he wants, stalking accounts ive blocked him on with other accounts, I have blocked him every where, its been a week of this
i unblocked him asking him to stop messaging my friends/ people i know and to just believe everything bad he believes of me and just let me be, he replied a long text saying he was "speaking to people i know that agreed with him" and that he wanted to show everyone who I "really am" a bunch of the same stuff just scary
He is using a situation that happened between my two best friends in 2018 involving infidelity in between them, im not directly involved apart from me knowing about it and at the time not knowing what to do with the information and feeling hurt over it which is why i told him He messaged one of the friend involved after his initial freakout Full transparency i did back track on that, i felt didnt really have a choice to when he started messaging her about it when he first started freaking out on me after the breakup, at the end of the day i didnt owe him the truth anymore at that point he had alreadycrossed a line about something that doesnt involve him with the intent to hurt me and the people i care about , but that doesn't matter rlly hes sticking to the fact i lied and backtracked on that to prove the things he says about me and now hes saying how hell download his facebook data to expose the situation and what I've said about it previously Its just mental torture, there is no real point to any of this, he wants a response out of me hes trying to hurt me and he is
More info that might matter, his ex has a restraining order against him (that he disregards however he sees fit) because he essentially did the same thing hes doing right now to her but worst, he threatened to kill her and himself, his entire friend group at the time sided with his ex, he told me its because she had abused him and pushed him this far and i believed it at the time but now being in the exact situation she was minus the threats on my life i can see him for what he is
I called a domestic violence hotline, they told me to file a police report for harrasment
Im scared to not be taken seriously and bring more trouble by making him angry, i know harassment is illegal but he genuinely threatened his ex and walked off with a restraining order only, he lives in another province so although hes unpredictable enough to show up here if he wants im not directly accessible for him to hurt me physically and i know that despite the restraining order he still harasses his ex and genuinely believes that she still cares about him and wants to he in his life, he has thoughts like this a lot, he has cyber stalked other girls before bc he belived she was sending him indirect message to keep going even after she blocked him, a friend of hers had to tell him to stop Im just worried that it wont really stop him ? Or might make it worst
Will i be taken seriously considering he has a record of that? Has he been harrasing me long enough for the law to care? I just need all the info i can get
I need advice im really desperate, im scared i feel trapped

I confronted my groomer last week and I have never felt more at peace. This happened between 2017 - 2018 , I was 15 at time. I decided to join a private coaching academy to prepare for NEET (the medical entrance exam in India). I had just broken up with my first boyfriend and was studying 8 hours a day, so I was really stressed out and lonely. A professor at the coaching academy was always helpful (he offered to give me his phone number so I could text him any doubts I had).
It escalated from there,it started with him asking if I was single and asking him to stay back during his office hours so we could revise chemistry ( I was not the best at it). I did stay back once and went up to his cabin and he kissed me and told me he wanted me to be his girlfriend. I was shocked but ended up not telling my parents because I was ashamed I let it happen. We kept talking for the next 2 months, he would get me gifts, pay for my cellular data, and tell me how beautiful I was. He called me to his apartment so we could watch a movie, and he raped me. This went on every week for 6 more months, and the saddest part I dont remember anything besides the physical pain I felt. It feels like my brain just shut down.
I ended up getting an admit to a medical school, and stopped talking to him, blocked him everywhere. Fast forward to last week, I was going through some old Facebook chats and came upon his. I unblocked him, and I confronted him. He had the audacity to tell me how he has been single since the time, and how he cries to sleep thinking about how he hurt me. I corrected him and told him that he did so much more than hurt me, he groomed, raped, and abused me. And that he was piece of shit and I don’t care about what he feels.
Since that day, I have been so happy! I finally told my partner about the abuse, and he suggested we go to the police ( I still have all his emails and screenshots of the Facebook chats). I am not sure if I want to, cause I don’t want to relive the trauma and I want to move on. My parents don’t know about the abuse, so there’s that. Would appreciate any advice!

Okay, so to start at the beginning, I was on Facebook looking through my newsfeed. Typically, I do not ever get anything shown from my grandmother, as we already don't get along. I have her FB for messaging purposes only, and I added her when I first made the account. Some background info is I am pansexual and agnostic, and I don't want any kids. My grandmother is very Christian.
This post was someone else's post she had shared. Me being me, I make my voice heard about disagreements I have with the post. I didn't initially realize it was her that had shared it. The post was a long story about how a boy decided he was going to be a furry and that he wanted to be a cat furry. The dad pretty much said, "Well, if you're a cat, you belong outside eating cat food and you need to be fixed." They insinuate that he says no and that he eats human food. Then the dad basically states that he's a cat, he doesn't get food, and then he hits them with a broom, and says cats who act out get euthanized. The son ends up saying he doesn't want to be a cat. Then they went on saying trans, gays, and furries should all go to hell, and that these "froot loops" should just be euthanized.
Anyways, I commented on it and basically said that it was wrong. Not only should they not be hitting children, they shouldn't be hitting cats either or euthanizing them. I also made a comment about how in the story, he implied that being a cat was being a furry. I explained the difference between wanting to be a furry and wanting to be a cat. I suggested that instead of abuse, if there is concern, they should talk to their son like a real human being. And why does it matter? Plenty of people enjoy hobbies, and being a furry is just that, etc.
Anyways, my grandmother said, "This is what's wrong with the world. People need to grow up and be adults, and these freaks need to stop." I pretty much further asked why does it matter to her, and if her so-called God loves everyone, why is she being so judgmental? Anyways, the convo ended, and she ended up blocking me. Later, I guess she called my father and talked to him, and we were discussing it. She had told him she will unblock me when I decide to have an adult conversation, and I said what part of that conversation wasn't adult. We dropped it and then started talking about my wedding invites I was going to send out. My dad said he could give me my grandmother's address to send her hers. I told him I wasn't inviting her. He asked why. I just looked at him and said because she thinks it's okay to euthanize people because they don't conform. And then he went on about how she's old and doesn't understand and that she should still be invited because I'm her first grandchild to get married. I told him no, and now my dad is upset with me. I told him she can be invited when SHE acts like an adult.
TLDR :Saw a disturbing post shared by my grandmother on Facebook, spoke up against it. Grandma blocked me, then told my dad she'd unblock me when I had an "adult conversation." Dad wants me to invite her to my wedding, but I refused because she condones euthanasia for non-conformity. Now dad's upset, AITA?

I'm putting fake names... (A lot of the timelines are spread out but they talk about those specific moments, I hope they make since)
I have a friend, I'll call her J. I have known J for almost 9 years. She and I grew up pretty close and we were inseparable. Over the first few years of our friendship she had lost my parents trust from an incident involving a boy, she wasn't allowed to stay over for sleepovers and I practically lost my whole summer that year. I was pretty angry at my parents and blamed things on them. I regret my actions and I did learn but in my mind I thought J was the only person who understood me.
After the whole incident settled down. School started up again and she would jokingly push me into a boy or a locker. She started putting her arm around my neck, trying to choke me. She would continuously punch me or smack me on the head. I honestly got annoyed by it but I acted like it was nothing. She had suddenly became obsessed with TikTok and she posted a whole TikTok about her friends, their was a video of me that stood out. I wasn't wearing a shirt. Which completely made me uncomfortable because I wasn't wearing a shirt and she took the video while I was changing. She didn't take it down. She also would post photos without my consent. Like ones that made me feel ugly or disgusting. And I would tell her how they made me feel. But she would still post them. I started telling her no when she asked for photos and she always would sneak one when I wasn't looking. She doesn't take no for an answer. She will start whining when you don't listen. I used to trust her with my feelings and I would tell her about everything. And now I feel like she knows too much.
This past school year all of my friends (king, J, Joe, Bell) and I went to SDYC. And well when we went J was lying a bunch and starting a bunch of drama and it threw all of my friends off. We all didn't trust J and Joe that well during that time. I felt like the only people I had was my friends King and Bell. Because they both understood how I felt.
After that. King, J, and I had a sleepover. During the middle of the night I was watching a movie and J began to bug me. She started pushing on me saying I was taking up too much room. But honestly I was the one who was sleeping in between two couches there's no way I was taking that much space because I was falling in the crack. She then proceeded to call me a fat roll. I said "no your a fat roll" jokingly. And then she freaks out and she went to tell her boyfriend. It annoyed me because all her boyfriend knows how to do is talk bad. After that sleepover. She started working at the same place as me and I told her about my big crush on this coworker of ours. And so then she decided to start flirting with him in front of me. She would throw something at him jokingly and giggle. I didn't try to think anything of it. But then when we were talking about him the next thing she decided to say was, "your just jealous because he talks to me and not you". The thing is I don't want to talk to him that's why I don't try to talk to him. He has talked to me before, but I rather admire him from afar. He's like 13 years older than me. He was just hot to me at the time.
I'll just say I am lighter than a 5'6 girl. I might have a little bit of belly fat but that's just my body. And I do have an eating disorder. I don't eat enough, I practically starve myself. J honestly made me feel worse and I started having moments where I would basically pass out from no iron in my body. J continued to body shame me even from the amount of food I would eat. She straight up made is feel like she was calling me ugly and fat. It hurt and it made me angry. I told my dad and he said she's just jealous and not to worry about it. I brushed it off but she basically would say something everyday. It got to a point where I was crying all the time.
During my last year of highschool J didn't have a vehicle. So she would ask me to drive her places. I didn't mind because we would be going to the same places. And I started offering to pay for her drink or something. I didn't think much of it in tell I was always taking her places and buying her drinks but she still wanted me to pay her back for stuff when I didn't have much money. She managed to buy a vehicle for a small price by saving up the money she didn't spend. I feel stupid for offering. One day her mom even texted me asking for the small money I "owed" J. But my parents think I don't owe her anything because I have given her most of my money and that she owes me money.
J also does this thing where if you don't give her your attention she'll keep tapping you. Over and over again. Everytime she asks for my attention it's always for something so pointless and stupid. Nothing serious. And everytime I ask for her attention she'll ignore me. She does it a lot. She only wants to have the attention. I stopped telling her about how I feel because all I know is she'll either use it against me or not actually listen and move past it. Like once she asked me how I felt and when I told her that I cried about something she moved on from it into her talking about her crying over some movie she watched.
The way she treated me made me so angry that I texted her boyfriend anonymously asking him to control his girlfriend and get her to be nicer to others. He didn't like the message and told his girl on the spot and J tried to call my fake number. I didn't answer and then she ran to me to tell me the tea. She later assumed it was a boy she was flirting with that she pushed away.
I hate her boyfriend but he deserves better.. because she has talked to another boy behind his back. When I started liking this one boy. I told her about it and then she began to tell me how she met this UK boy and she thinks he's all that. She later found out he was lying about his age and she got back to reality before she lost her in person boyfriend.
She told king I was flirting with this one dude but I wasn't. J told me to add this guy she found on Facebook on snap, I said okay and I called the dude a nickname like a Grandma would call their grandchildren. And I thought it was funny and the guy thought it was chill. I didn't think anything of it and then I blocked him because I didn't want to talk to him. She then decided to add the guy on snap. And she starts talking to him. The amount of times she has lied is crazy. I blocked him but she still has him on snap. For what reason I don't know.
J and Joe and I have recently had a lot of problems with each other. It's always J and Joe fighting and I'm between listening to them both argue about each other. I was getting tired of it. J hit my breaking point when she decided to ask me for my boyfriends sisters snap. You don't just ask your friend for her boyfriends sisters snap. That's weird. She also asked for my boyfriends and she looked him up when I told her no and she added a bunch of dudes with the same name. She didn't find him but there is no way I want her knowing him or his sister. I have too many trust issues with her. She's the main reason why a lot of my relationships didn't work out. They didn't like her and she manipulated me into saying things that upset them. She makes me so uncomfortable. She made me seem lesbian once when I know I'm not. But she made a TikTok about it and a lot of people from my school saw it. I don't like false accusations. I'm pretty sure she used it for clout. But also my parents think she's inlove with me because she can never leave me alone and she always HAS to hold hands or hug.
J doesn't understand a lot of things. And she calls me stupid. I honestly want karma to come get her but that's bad and I don't mean to say that. It hurts a lot.
I had blocked J on everything. But since I worked with J I saw her and she started bawling her eyes out at me saying she did nothing, I felt bad but I was annoyed because she kept bugging me. So I unblocked her. I decided to block her again after because my boyfriend said she was manipulating me. And well the more I had her blocked the nicer she was. After a while Joe did something to make me give up on my friendship with her too and J expected that to be a chance to get me back. And well she did practically. She was a lot nicer and I felt like she changed. But Man was I wrong.. Just today I was working my second night shift. I said something as a joke because I was hoping J would get what I meant. Her boyfriend was on the call... He took everything out of context and said something that made me feel less about myself. I already feel like crap being the person I am. I want to better myself but the more people say things the more I give up. I want to be encouraged not dragged down. I don't know why he has to be so mean. I never did anything to him. I don't know why they both have to be... I listen to her call people ugly all the time. Like just stop. I want her to stop. I'm leaving for the military soon, and she said that I can't get rid of her. That sounds psycho. And it honestly makes me want to get away more. I'm tired of the toxic environment and I want to get away. But she's everywhere. She knows everything about me. She has photos of me I hate. She has so many things she can use against me. I'm honestly scared. I want to block her again but I know she's just going to keep bugging me about it. And she might turn people against me. She's good at talking to people. I'm not I'm an introvert. I don't want her ever find me again once I leave. But I know she might try. People always find a way. And she's creepy. Because I know she'll be able to. But I just want to move on with my life. I don't know how to remove her from my life. What should I do?

I'm putting fake names... (A lot of the timelines are spread out but they talk about those specific moments, I hope they make since)
I have a friend, I'll call her J. I have known J for almost 9 years. She and I grew up pretty close and we were inseparable. Over the first few years of our friendship she had lost my parents trust from an incident involving a boy, she wasn't allowed to stay over for sleepovers and I practically lost my whole summer that year. I was pretty angry at my parents and blamed things on them. I regret my actions and I did learn but in my mind I thought J was the only person who understood me.
After the whole incident settled down. School started up again and she would jokingly push me into a boy or a locker. She started putting her arm around my neck, trying to choke me. She would continuously punch me or smack me on the head. I honestly got annoyed by it but I acted like it was nothing. She had suddenly became obsessed with TikTok and she posted a whole TikTok about her friends, their was a video of me that stood out. I wasn't wearing a shirt. Which completely made me uncomfortable because I wasn't wearing a shirt and she took the video while I was changing. She didn't take it down. She also would post photos without my consent. Like ones that made me feel ugly or disgusting. And I would tell her how they made me feel. But she would still post them. I started telling her no when she asked for photos and she always would sneak one when I wasn't looking. She doesn't take no for an answer. She will start whining when you don't listen. I used to trust her with my feelings and I would tell her about everything. And now I feel like she knows too much.
This past school year all of my friends (king, J, Joe, Bell) and I went to SDYC. And well when we went J was lying a bunch and starting a bunch of drama and it threw all of my friends off. We all didn't trust J and Joe that well during that time. I felt like the only people I had was my friends King and Bell. Because they both understood how I felt.
After that. King, J, and I had a sleepover. During the middle of the night I was watching a movie and J began to bug me. She started pushing on me saying I was taking up too much room. But honestly I was the one who was sleeping in between two couches there's no way I was taking that much space because I was falling in the crack. She then proceeded to call me a fat roll. I said "no your a fat roll" jokingly. And then she freaks out and she went to tell her boyfriend. It annoyed me because all her boyfriend knows how to do is talk bad. After that sleepover. She started working at the same place as me and I told her about my big crush on this coworker of ours. And so then she decided to start flirting with him in front of me. She would throw something at him jokingly and giggle. I didn't try to think anything of it. But then when we were talking about him the next thing she decided to say was, "your just jealous because he talks to me and not you". The thing is I don't want to talk to him that's why I don't try to talk to him. He has talked to me before, but I rather admire him from afar. He's like 13 years older than me. He was just hot to me at the time.
I'll just say I am lighter than a 5'6 girl. I might have a little bit of belly fat but that's just my body. And I do have an eating disorder. I don't eat enough, I practically starve myself. J honestly made me feel worse and I started having moments where I would basically pass out from no iron in my body. J continued to body shame me even from the amount of food I would eat. She straight up made is feel like she was calling me ugly and fat. It hurt and it made me angry. I told my dad and he said she's just jealous and not to worry about it. I brushed it off but she basically would say something everyday. It got to a point where I was crying all the time.
During my last year of highschool J didn't have a vehicle. So she would ask me to drive her places. I didn't mind because we would be going to the same places. And I started offering to pay for her drink or something. I didn't think much of it in tell I was always taking her places and buying her drinks but she still wanted me to pay her back for stuff when I didn't have much money. She managed to buy a vehicle for a small price by saving up the money she didn't spend. I feel stupid for offering. One day her mom even texted me asking for the small money I "owed" J. But my parents think I don't owe her anything because I have given her most of my money and that she owes me money.
J also does this thing where if you don't give her your attention she'll keep tapping you. Over and over again. Everytime she asks for my attention it's always for something so pointless and stupid. Nothing serious. And everytime I ask for her attention she'll ignore me. She does it a lot. She only wants to have the attention. I stopped telling her about how I feel because all I know is she'll either use it against me or not actually listen and move past it. Like once she asked me how I felt and when I told her that I cried about something she moved on from it into her talking about her crying over some movie she watched.
The way she treated me made me so angry that I texted her boyfriend anonymously asking him to control his girlfriend and get her to be nicer to others. He didn't like the message and told his girl on the spot and J tried to call my fake number. I didn't answer and then she ran to me to tell me the tea. She later assumed it was a boy she was flirting with that she pushed away.
I hate her boyfriend but he deserves better.. because she has talked to another boy behind his back. When I started liking this one boy. I told her about it and then she began to tell me how she met this UK boy and she thinks he's all that. She later found out he was lying about his age and she got back to reality before she lost her in person boyfriend.
She told king I was flirting with this one dude but I wasn't. J told me to add this guy she found on Facebook on snap, I said okay and I called the dude a nickname like a Grandma would call their grandchildren. And I thought it was funny and the guy thought it was chill. I didn't think anything of it and then I blocked him because I didn't want to talk to him. She then decided to add the guy on snap. And she starts talking to him. The amount of times she has lied is crazy. I blocked him but she still has him on snap. For what reason I don't know.
J and Joe and I have recently had a lot of problems with each other. It's always J and Joe fighting and I'm between listening to them both argue about each other. I was getting tired of it. J hit my breaking point when she decided to ask me for my boyfriends sisters snap. You don't just ask your friend for her boyfriends sisters snap. That's weird. She also asked for my boyfriends and she looked him up when I told her no and she added a bunch of dudes with the same name. She didn't find him but there is no way I want her knowing him or his sister. I have too many trust issues with her. She's the main reason why a lot of my relationships didn't work out. They didn't like her and she manipulated me into saying things that upset them. She makes me so uncomfortable. She made me seem lesbian once when I know I'm not. But she made a TikTok about it and a lot of people from my school saw it. I don't like false accusations. I'm pretty sure she used it for clout. But also my parents think she's inlove with me because she can never leave me alone and she always HAS to hold hands or hug.
J doesn't understand a lot of things. And she calls me stupid. I honestly want karma to come get her but that's bad and I don't mean to say that. It hurts a lot.
I had blocked J on everything. But since I worked with J I saw her and she started bawling her eyes out at me saying she did nothing, I felt bad but I was annoyed because she kept bugging me. So I unblocked her. I decided to block her again after because my boyfriend said she was manipulating me. And well the more I had her blocked the nicer she was. After a while Joe did something to make me give up on my friendship with her too and J expected that to be a chance to get me back. And well she did practically. She was a lot nicer and I felt like she changed. But Man was I wrong.. Just today I was working my second night shift. I said something as a joke because I was hoping J would get what I meant. Her boyfriend was on the call... He took everything out of context and said something that made me feel less about myself. I already feel like crap being the person I am. I want to better myself but the more people say things the more I give up. I want to be encouraged not dragged down. I don't know why he has to be so mean. I never did anything to him. I don't know why they both have to be... I listen to her call people ugly all the time. Like just stop. I want her to stop. I'm leaving for the military soon, and she said that I can't get rid of her. That sounds psycho. And it honestly makes me want to get away more. I'm tired of the toxic environment and I want to get away. But she's everywhere. She knows everything about me. She has photos of me I hate. She has so many things she can use against me. I'm honestly scared. I want to block her again but I know she's just going to keep bugging me about it. And she might turn people against me. She's good at talking to people. I'm not I'm an introvert. I don't want her ever find me again once I leave. But I know she might try. People always find a way. And she's creepy. Because I know she'll be able to. But I just want to move on with my life. I don't know how to remove her from my life. What should I do?

14-minute read.

average monthly nominal salaries and YoY change in Q1 2024

Yerevan +8% to ֏324K/$836
Syunik +7% to ֏295K/$760
Shirak +7% to ֏142K/$366
Yerevan had the highest wages. Syunik had the highest wages among provinces, while Shirak had the lowest.
REPORT: While the average nominal monthly salary does not always show the level of economic prosperity in a region, its rise has made a tangible difference in Syunik.
SUREN PARSYAN (economist): Syunik has higher wages and strong employment. It is the most prosperous province with the lowest unemployment poverty rate in Armenia: 24% in Armenia, 15% in Yerevan, and 2% in Syunik.
REPORT: Over the last 5 years, the average monthly nominal salaries have risen by 40% while the inflation was 21%.
source,

Armenian army launches command staff exercises

They will exercise the practical implementation of deployment and combat plans, evaluate the commanders' skills, improve the synchronized work between various groups, develop the officers' moral characteristics and practical skills during preparation and combat operations, etc.
They will use automated control systems and modern technologies during the exercises.
source,

Armenia and India will form a new working group for defense cooperation

Defense ministries of AM and IN held a meeting on Tuesday. They discussed the 2024-2025 cooperation plan and the creation of a new working group to coordinate the cooperation.
source,

from PM Pashinyan's speech at Copenhagen Democracy Summit:

PASHINYAN: Democracy has indeed become a reality in Armenia. Before the 2018 Velvet Revolution, massive electoral frauds were the usual companion of elections in Armenia. There was no trust among the citizens that there was a real chance for them to elect the government.
Now the situation is totally different; citizens know that they are powerful enough to decide. The two general elections that were held in Armenia after the Velvet Revolution have been acknowledged as democratic, free, and competitive both by the Armenian society and the international community.
Armenia made huge progress in strengthening the democratic institutions, an achievement reflected in reputable democracy indexes:
(a) Now we are the 43rd in the Reporters Without Borders’ Freedom of Speech index, compared to 79th place in 2017.
(b) Categorized as having partially free internet in 2017 by Freedom House, now we enjoy the status of a country with free internet.
(c) In Transparency International’s Corruption Perception Index, Armenia is now 62nd instead of 107th in 2017.
(d) In the Economist Intelligence Unit’s democracy index we are 84th compared to 111th in 2017.
In order to assess this progress, it's essential to note that alongside democratic reforms, Armenia has been contending with external security challenges: the 44-day war in Nagorno-Karabakh, Azerbaijan's invasion of Armenia in 2021 and 2022 and the occupation of over 200 km² amid inaction by [Russia's] CSTO, the forced displacement of over 100,000 Armenians from Nagorno-Karabakh, have cast doubts among Armenian citizens weather democracy is the right choice. So, democracy needs to prove its efficiency while dealing with security, economic and humanitarian challenges.
We are pleased with the deployment of EU monitoring mission alongside the Armenian-Azerbaijani border, and we welcome EU’s decision to expand its capacity. On the other hand, we hope for the inclusion of Armenia into the European Peace Facility and in this regard, we rely on the support of all EU member states [Hungary].
A new set of commitments aimed at strengthening Armenia’s economic resilience, state institutions, and addressing the humanitarian needs of refugees has been taken on by the European Union and United States during the high-level meeting on April 5 in Brussels. The rapid and effective implementation of those commitments is of utmost importance.
Despite all the challenges, we believe that the real and most aspiring companion for democracy is lasting and sustainable peace. My government took the share of its responsibility for this. Recently we reached an agreement with Azerbaijan to launch the delimitation of our interstate borders on the basis of the Almaty Declaration of 1991. That means that during the delimitation we should simply reproduce the Soviet-era administrative borders. This is the implementation of the agreement reached in Prague in 2022. Now it is time to incorporate and reflect those agreements in the peace treaty and have it signed.
Another key point for our regional stability is the «Crossroads of Peace», project, initiated by my government. This project implies that Armenia and Azerbaijan restore and open transport and other communications in accordance with the sovereignty and jurisdiction of the countries through which they pass, and comply with the principles of equality and reciprocity. These elements of the concept were agreed upon during the July 2023 meeting with Ilham Aliyev and Charles Michel. //

... Politico reporter's Q&A with Pashinyan

REPORTER: [Ex-NATO leader] Anders Fogh Rasmussen called your neighbor an autocracy. You are in a very difficult geopolitical and geographical position. How do you solve the security problem in that environment?
PASHINYAN: I would not like to comment on the internal situation of our neighboring countries. Democracy fully corresponds to the mentality of our people. It is a strategy for our government, it is our political belief, it is also our political identity. The members of our political team have spent most of their lives fighting for democracy, the rule of law, and freedom of speech. Now we have the opportunity to realize all these values in our country.
The security situation was complicated because of the regional and global situation; the world order is collapsing at the moment. My assessment is, and I have had occasion to say this publicly, that the 2020 war was a prelude to further developments. And now the main issue is security.
What is our strategic point of view, how are we going to guarantee the security of our country? Recently, I gave a speech in our parliament, where I said that the most important tool for ensuring security is a foreign policy based on legitimacy. This is the reason why we so often speak about the 1991 Almaty Declaration.
It is very important that during the 2022 Prague meeting, two very important agreements were reached. Armenia and Azerbaijan recognize each other's territorial integrity and sovereignty on the basis of the Almaty Declaration and will use it as the basis for the border demarcation. This is the reason why I said that we are not drawing a new border, we just need to reproduce the existing one on the ground. This process is happening right now, and I hope that we will continue it steadfastly.
REPORTER: The border conflict that has occurred in recent years has had a negative impact on relations with Russia and Russia's role for Armenia. What would you say about this?
PASHINYAN: Armenia is a member of CSTO. We are officially a CSTO member, but I have announced that we have frozen our participation.
REPORTER: So are you still a member or...?
PASHINYAN: It is a matter for further discussion, but it is very important to record the current situation. A crisis arose in our relations after Azerbaijani troops invaded Armenia, and according to CSTO procedures, the Organization and its member states had to support Armenia in this situation. But even after the formal application, the CSTO refused to take any concrete steps, and in fact, that is the main reason for freezing our participation in the CSTO at all levels.
REPORTER: Do you expect the West to occupy the current vacuum and ensure your security?
PASHINYAN: We are diversifying our foreign relations in all spheres. Now we are developing defense cooperation with India, France, and other countries. We have a certain cooperation with the European Union because as I mentioned, we are happy about the deployment of the EU Civilian Observation Mission on the border. It is a civilian mission but in a way, it is a new factor for the security of our region. This is the first time that the European Union participates in the security agenda of Armenia.
REPORTER: Would you like to become an EU member?
PASHINYAN: We are waiting for the EU's decision to include Armenia in the European Peace Facility. We also hope to start visa liberalization negotiations, and last year I announced in the European Parliament that Armenia is ready to be as close to the European Union as the European Union deems it possible. This is our position.
REPORTER: Can you elaborate on what initiatives Armenia is taking in the fight against corruption?
PASHINYAN: We have made huge progress but have not eradicated corruption from Armenia. We must continue to be persistent in the agenda of democratic reforms. This is the reason why cooperation with the European Union is of utmost importance for us because today the European Union is our main partner in the implementation of our democratic reform agenda. We hope that the European Union, as well as the USA, will increase their support to Armenia in the implementation of democratic reforms, because, as I said, democracy is a strategy for us.
By the way, in 2019 we started a Strategic Dialogue with the USA, and today we see the strengthening of our cooperation with the European Union. We recently had a tripartite meeting with the participation of the USA, EU, and Armenia. It was an unprecedented format, where we adopted a huge agenda of institutional and economic reforms. It is also very important that we receive more tangible support from the EU and the US to address the humanitarian needs of the Nagorno Karabakh refugees because it is a very sensitive and emotional issue for us.
REPORTER: In which year would you like Armenia to become a member of the EU?
PASHINYAN: This year [as soon as possible]. //
Pashinyan met Anders Fogh Rasmussen. The latter emphasized the importance of the “Crossroads of Peace” project in the context of unblocking the regional infrastructure.
Pashinyan discussed various topics with the PM of Denmark. The latter accepted his invitation to visit Armenia.
full video, source, video, other, other, source, video,

former regime continues to hold protests and briefly shut down roads in Yerevan with demands for PM Pashinyan's resignation

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Dozens of participants were detained and released the same day for blocking roads. The detentions decreased from 170 on Monday to ~63 on Tuesday. They want Pashinyan to resign or to be impeached. The protest organizers visited universities to gather student supporters, some of whom joined them with a dance. The organizers also stopped by at a bakery where they were given free food.
A felony investigation was launched after a police vehicle, "with the sirens on", struck a reporter on the street. In another instance, an investigation was launched against a protester who brought a long sword. One other case was launched over alleged threats made on Facebook by a Galstanyan fan who wants scores of people to be beaten in dalans and exiled from Armenia, "մենակ էտ դեպքում էս սրբազան հողը կմաքրվի էս տեսակ շան ծնունդներից, ուրիշ ձև չկա!!!!"
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A ruling faction member of Yerevan City Council complained about "harassment" by opposition figures who are attempting to convince ruling party members to join the protests and the impeachment.
RULING MEMBER: That is not how it works. No one will join you with that conduct. People will join if they see you have a legitimate agenda with trustworthy leaders. Instead, you are "ethnically cleansing" the citizens of Armenia [referring to one opposition speaker telling non-Armenians to leave] և հեռու չէ են օրը երբ դուք գուցե ասեք որ հայ լինելու համար պետք է Հայկ նահապետից տեղեկանք բերել: //
ԳԼՈՒԽ 3
Yesterday the protest co-organizer Archbishop Bagrat Galstanyan said he received a report suggesting that the Deputy Rector of Yerevan State University supposedly urged deans and others to retaliate against students who joined the protests. Galstanyan said he was unsure whether the report was true, but decided to read it out loud anyway. On Tuesday he rallied his supporters to the backyard of the University where he demanded to speak with the Deputy Rector for clarification.
The Deputy Rector went downstairs and greeted Galstanyan, who shook her hand but wouldn't let it go for an uncomfortably long period, prompting her to ask him to let go of her hand. The Deputy Rector declared that whatever Galstanyan read about her was a defamatory lie.
GALSTANYAN: I never believed it myself.
DEPUTY RECTOR: Then you should not have said out loud something you did not believe.
GALSTANYAN: Listen, there is a recorded fact...
DEPUTY RECTOR: Where is that "recorded fact"?
GALSTANYAN: It was on the media. As I said yesterday, I had no verification that it was true, which is why we came here to clarify it. If it's false, then I apologize.
DEPUTY RECTOR: Thank you. //
The Deputy Rector urged the protest organizers not to enter the building or disrupt the classes, and that "anyone who wants to follow you can follow you, anyone who wants to stay in classrooms should stay in classrooms".
The angry Deputy Rector left. Another university official criticized Galstanyan for not checking the information before reading it to his followers. Galstanyan said he stands behind his words, and that he was "just reading what was on the media", but reiterated that he had no intention to insult the Deputy Rector.
ԳԼՈՒԽ 4
Galstanyan and his supporters visited the monument dedicated to Operation Nemesis. He praised the figures behind Nemesis for "assuming personal responsibility". In front of the crowd, Galstanyan introduced Hambig Sassounian who recently joined his movement. He pointed to the Nemesis monument and said Sassounian is "one of the successors, one of the brightest people." In related news, on Sunday a ruling faction MP complained about receiving death threats with reference to Operation Nemesis.
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DANIEL IOANNESIAN (NGO chief): When this protest dies down, we need to discuss the following: (1) The transparency of political and media funding. There are some regulations in place, but they are incomplete and easily bypassed. For example, I'd like to know who paid for Archbishop Galstanyan's giant stage in Republic Square. In 2018 Pashinyan organized a fundraising for it and disclosed a detailed report. (2) Should the media organizations that do not respect the rules of financial transparency enjoy all the mechanisms for the protection of journalists? (3) Are the customs authorities confident that the church is not facilitating the business activities of certain figures disguised as donations? (4) Is it fair for the church and clergy members not to pay taxes? Should they be able to have a Bently and LX570 without paying taxes? [The "Bentley" is based on a true story.]
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Archbishop's fans spotted Miss Armenia 2003 and a H1 host Lusine Tovmasyan drinking a coffee at a Yerevan café and approached her.
PROTESTER: (unintelligable)
LUSINE: I was here drinking coffee yesterday, and a year before that.
PROTESTER: Why have you not joined the holy struggle?
LUSINE: Լավ եկեք թարգեք, շատ զզվելի ա, էնքան զզվելի ա․ //
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Pro-Kremlin propagandist Alexander Dugin praised the pro-Russian forces' protests in Armenia and criticized the pro-EU protests in Georgia.
Pro-Kremlin Russian politician Semyon Baghdasarov praised Archbishop Bagrat and the ongoing "uprising" in Armenia against the "traitor" [Nikol] who "rigged" the elections with the help of "Turkey, UK, and US". Nikol is a Turkish MI6 agent. video,
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Video of a protest recorded from above: video
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Armenian government has upgraded other diplomatic channels to reduce reliance on ARF's diaspora structures in the US, says pro-West NGO chief

KHURSHUDYAN: The status of the Armenian Ambassador to the U.S. [Lilith Makunts] has been significantly upgraded. I won't go into specifics because it's tied to our neighbors, but she plays an interesting role there. We have great conditions for the U.S. Congress to pressure Azerbaijan. This is outside of ARF's lobbyist groups in the U.S.
REPORTER: ARF Hay Dat's recent conduct has been shameful.
KHURSHUDYAN: And its influence on the Lemkin Institute was obvious. //
Yesterday Kurshudyan accused the Lemkin Institute of caving to ARF's pressure and meddling into Armenia's internal affairs to assist the protests by the pro-Russian former regime.
KHURSHUDYAN: Lemkin Institute accused Pashinyan's April 24 genocide remembrance day statement of containing "victim blaming". Lemkin did not comment on Pashinyan's statement for several weeks, waited 15 days, and as soon as these pro-Russian protests began in Armenia, they gave them a պաս:
source,

Armenia's four most prominent pro-West opposition parties announce the formation of a unified platform

Republic Party, led by ex-PM Aram Sargsyan.
Hanun Republic Party, led by Arman Babajanyan.
European Party of Armenia, led by Tigran Khzmalyan.
Christian-Democratic Party, led by Levon Shirinyan.
Have the following agenda...
(1) Promotion of Western values in Armenia and Armenia's membership in EU and NATO.
(2) United front against threats and risks of destabilization coming from Russia.
(3) Vetting judges to clean up the courts, and resolution of issues left unaddressed by the Pashinyan administration.
(4) Continuation of border demarcation based on 1991 Almaty.
(5) The use of international law to achieve a fair resolution for Nagorno-Karabakh residents.
The platform is open for like-minded forces to join.
source,

Armenian army chief denies being a Russian citizen

A statement released by the defense ministry denies media reports that CoGS LtGen Edward Asryan is a dual citizen of Russia. His wife is an ethnic Russian with Armenian citizenship and his kids are dual citizens, but Asryan only has citizenship in Armenia. The whole family has resided in Armenia since 2006, said the statement.
source,

Georgia passes controversial ‘foreign agents’ bill despite widespread opposition

The law will require organizations receiving more than 20% of their funding from abroad to register as “agents of foreign influence” or face crippling fines.
The bill will be sent to the President who is expected to veto it, but her veto is expected to be overruled by the parliamentary majority later.
Georgian PM Kobakhidze had an "honest conversation" with U.S. deputy foreign minister James O'Brien, telling him that the Georgian government is interested in deepening the partnership with the U.S., "which requires mutual efforts and relations based on fairness."
James O'Brien demanded to speak with the manager - Bidza Ivanishvili. The latter refused to meet O'Brien, saying he won't hold any meetings under "blackmail".
The White House said the U.S. will review its relations with Georgia if the bill becomes law.
source, source, source,

how many of the 101,000 Nagorno-Karabakh refugees have left Armenia and haven't returned yet?

As of...
Dec: 6.6K
Jan: 6.9K
Mar: 8.0K
Apr: 9.1K
May: 9.9K
The former Ombudsman of Nagorno-Karabakh said many of them have family members and friends in Russia who invite them to move.
source,

temperatures are rising rapidly in Armenia

REPORTER: The rainy May is not going to be enough to alleviate the negative consequences of the rapidly rising temperatures in Armenia. With a ~3 Celsius anomaly, Armenia had the second-highest increase in temperature over the last 6 months among a group of monitored countries.
WEATHER CENTER: High temperatures increase the evaporation of water and reduce the amount of snow in the winter. In December and January, we recorded rain instead of snow in certain mountainous regions, which is bad for water resources.
REPORTER: A conference was recently held in Yerevan within the framework of the UN Convention to Combat Desertification.
UN official: Around 40% of global soils are degraded. Millions of people will be forced to migrate from their communities by 2050 as a result of climate problems. Emergency action is needed to reduce the rate of rising temperatures. //
Armenia joined the Convention three decades ago and has assumed the responsibility to restore degraded soil by 2030. The government is promoting drip irrigation systems for farming and wants to plant more trees.
video,

is the decline of Lake Sevan levels finally slowing down?

see the YoY chart

Yerevan Municipality to receive a €25 million loan from European Investment Bank to raise energy efficiency

It's part of the implementation of Eastern Partnership programs. The Armenian government and the EU are co-financing it.
The goal is to raise energy efficiency and carry out seismic retrofitting in 6 medical clinics and 32 kindergartens run by the municipality. The length of the program is 4 years.
video, video,

Gagik Tsarukyan is inside you

there is a bit of Tsarukyan inside all of you
see it to believe it

Gagik Tsarukyan says the new Jesus statue is ready and will be installed by the end of 2025

It will be a tourist attraction site. There will be a ropeway. Also, Tsarukyan needs you to know that he is a man of God and an avid believer.
video,

Armenia and Slovakia discussed AM-EU visa liberalization

source,

Lithuania will help retrain Armenian law enforcement agents to combat cybercrime, analyze crimes, etc.

source,

Armenia's Economy Minister Papoyan met the U.S. Assistant Secretary of State for Energy Resources Geoffrey Pyatt

In a Washington meeting participated by the Armenian Ministry delegation and Armenia's Ambassador, they spoke about the Crossroads of Peace logistics project proposed by Armenia, several topics relating to Armenia's energy and economic security, and the Armenian government's ongoing efforts to classify Armenia as a "market economy".
source,

Armenia and Iran discussed the construction of a second bridge over the River Araks

The first bridge began operating in 1996. It came to replace the floating bridges on the river.
Iran says the AM-IR traffic through the Meghri checkpoint significantly increased last year. Coupled with the fact that Armenia is building a modern North-South highway, they believe it's necessary to have a second AM-IR bridge to handle the rising traffic.
The parties are currently discussing the formation of a working group consisting of experts to discuss the topic.
source,

a new study on mice indicates that more exercise might be better than more sleep for clearing brain of toxins

They injected a dye into a brain and tracked the speed of its movement during sleep and exercise.
The findings show that the clearance of the dye was reduced by 30% in sleeping mice compared with mice that were kept awake. This has not been confirmed on humans yet.
Previous research has suggested that sleep is important for preventing dementia as it is during this time that toxic proteins are cleared from the brain.
source, source,

TL;DR: I cheated on my girlfriend of 4.5 years by going on a date with another woman. We didn't hook up, but I recognize that doesn't matter. I got exposed via one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" pages 5 months later, we broke up, and then after a few weeks decided to slowly fix things. After genuine improvements both on an individual level and relationship level, I got caught being on Hinge after making an account while on an international trip. I didn't meet with any women and used the app purely because it was a passive distraction. She has since ended the relationship once and for all and we haven't spoken in two weeks. I am trying to determine if the relationship is officially over or if I should attempt to reach out over time to demonstrate that I still care and want to fight for this as I have the last few months...
Hello all -- from the onset, let me start by acknowledging that I recognize that there is no excuse for cheating. I've taken responsibility for what I've done from the start, began therapy, and I was making active (and recognized) improvements to show that I was committed to change. So, if you intend on burning me at the stake for cheating, or rubbing my face in the consequences of my actions, please know that I've already done as much to myself and then some. For background sake, my ex and I dated for about 4.5 years.
Long story short, I was posted on one of those "Are We Dating the Same Guy" Facebook groups back in January by a girl that I went on two dates with while dating my then-girlfriend. For context, my ex and I broke up in the Summer of 2022 because of mounting fights and because I was unable to commit to a move-in date. During the breakup, I downloaded Bumble and matched with a girl that I could maintain good conversation with. We texted/phoned a few times, but we never met in person. Eventually, my ex and I got back together about roughly a month later, I ghosted the Bumble girl, and my relationship with my girlfriend moved on. Fast forward to about a year later (fall of 2023) -- I was out one night at a local bar and the Bumble girl was there on a date with another guy. She texted me later that night noting how funny it was that the first time we saw each other in-person was when she was on a date. We continued to text and I eventually made the poor decision to go out on not one, but two dates with her. We didn't sleep together and I broke things off after the second date because I realized how stupid and selfish I was being.
Fast forward to five months later (January of this year), the Bumble girl posted me on the above-mentioned Facebook group... I'm still in disbelief that she'd do so after only two dates, but word got back to my girlfriend and things went as you'd expect. Things were turbulent, she broke up with me, said that she couldn't forgive me for what I did, and that was that. However, after a couple of weeks, we began to reconnect. We began spending time together, sleeping together, and I made it a point to highlight how sorry I was and that I'd make the necessary improvements to show her that I was committed to her. As time went on, we began making genuine improvements as a couple, and things were steadily becoming good again... Until I made another poor decision.
In mid-March, I went to Japan with a couple of friends and I downloaded Hinge simply because I was curious. Despite getting matches, I didn't meet with anyone and purely downloaded it out of curiosity. Unfortunately, I never deleted the app upon returning home. Time went on and my ex and I maintained our continued progress and we were on the brink of becoming "official" again. In fact, roughly 3 weeks ago we took our first trip post-January and had a romantic getaway at a lake-front property. We had an incredible time and truly felt like ourselves again. Upon returning home, that next Monday, she told me that she was the happiest she's ever been and truly saw me as a forever partner again. Then, a few hours later, she called me asking if I was on Hinge -- one of her sister's friends saw me on the app. That, my friends, was the last straw. She was enraged, told me she was done, and that she should've never let me back in.
Let me highlight that I recognize that I shouldn't have been on Hinge, but again, I was passively swiping as a means to dissociate from the turbulent scenario I found myself in. It's a point that I'm unpacking in therapy. When I came back from Japan, she began discussing the possibility of eloping (her aunt has terminal cancer and she wanted her aunt to see her get married before she died), began discussing moving in, and was generally mounting pressure on our relationship even though we still had work to do. Again, I am not excusing my behavior, but in a sense, I was dissociating from the stress by engaging in an otherwise unhealthy distraction. I didn't maintain conversations or meet any women during this time. To my ex, though, it didn't matter. According to her, if I was truly committed to making things work, I should've never been on the app in the first place. It's tough because, as a way to demonstrate my commitment, I gave her access to my location and tried to establish that if I was seriously pursuing other women, why would I give her my location? It made no difference.
She went on to block me (which she's never done) and told me to leave her alone so that she could heal from this/move on. So, I respected her wishes and didn't contact her. I recognize I blew my shot. Then, a week later (roughly 2 weeks ago), she called me asking if I had certain kitchen items which she most assuredly knew I didn't have. She then went on to ask me how I was doing, to which, we ended up speaking for over 3 hours. She went from being angry to crying/asking how I could jeopardize our relationship after my improvements, to informing me that she's moving apartments because she's set on moving on and that there's simply too much baggage for our relationship to survive. Certain things that she said throughout this call demonstrated that she loved me immensely and that she'd miss me, but that she recognized that this couldn't continue. It was a hard phone call to stomach because, by her unblocking me and spending 3 hours on the phone with me, it instilled some form of hope (in a weird way).
It's been two weeks since we've spoken and all I can think about is her. Especially in light of the real improvements we had made before this all happened. I really was working on improving myself and considered her to be my life partner... Look, as I've noted from the onset, I'm reaping what I sowed; however, the last two and a half months before all of this were filled with genuine improvement and I truly believed that we were going to make it. She herself acknowledged this before I was discovered on Hinge. I am working through with my therapist as to why I was on Hinge post-Japan, but I just feel like this shouldn't be terminal. With that said, I've continued to respect her wishes and I haven't contacted her despite wanting to. I want to respect her healing process, even if that means losing her, but I can't help but feel like I should reach out to show that I care and that I'm willing to continue fighting. I love her immensely, consider her my partner and best friend, and despite what my actions demonstrate, am a work in progress. Am I in denial regarding this being over? Is there a chance for me here? Or do I let time take its course and move on?

How should I (31F) respond to my old friend (28F) who hasn’t messaged me in a year?
I 31F have a cousin/friend I grew up with 27F. She had issues with her mom and spent a lot of time with my family growing up. We were very close and have lived together both as children and as adults.
We’ve had a few semi fights, but nothing major until last year. My mom and her got into it big time. I tried staying out of it best I could. I was pregnant and trying to appease them both.
I lost that pregnancy in April last year. My friend asked to come over the next day and I told her I wasn’t ready for company (I had been halfway through that pregnancy and it was my 13th loss in a row). I wasn’t handling it very well and my mom was also visiting. I didn’t want their drama. My friend responded back that she wanted to leave something on my porch, not that she wanted to come in.
That was the last message I received in over a year. I had told her that was fine I just didn’t want company (I wasn’t in a good headspace). She never responded. A few weeks later, I got out of my funk and felt more like myself. I reached out to meet up and again, no response. That same day, she was with our other cousin hanging out just up the road from me. I was upset but figured she’d message me eventually.
She never did. Actually, she deleted me as a friend on Facebook and at some point, blocked me. Fast forward to now and my mom is talking to her again. There was a death in the family and the two of them had to handle things together. So now they’re texting, meeting up for lunch, etc. I’m upset with my mom as well because part of my saying no to her visit last year, was because of my mom. They went to lunch this last Saturday, day before Mother’s Day and the day I was celebrating it. My mom missed out on the lunch my husband made for me, her, and his mother to go hang out with my friend. I was hurt, but that’s another issue.
Last night, Mother’s Day, my friend texted me for the first time to tell me happy Mother’s Day. I didn’t want to be rude and said “thanks, you too” but now she’s messaged again and seems to be trying to start up a conversation. I checked, she’s also unblocked me on FB. I’m not sure if I should ignore her, tell her I’m not interested in talking, explain things and see what she says, or just turn over a new leaf. I should note, I’m pregnant again and I know I’m emotional. So I don’t want to make a rash decision.
It pisses me off that she dropped me after a loss like that. She had just said I could always call her and she’d always be there for me and then stopped speaking to me. No true friend would do that. But we were very close once, have kids the same age, and a part of me wants an explanation. Any advice on what I should do?

(I made a same post but with the photos of texts that "she" sent to me on my account since all the communities that I want to post don't allow them)
So it's mother's Day and my mom is absent in our lives until "now". I won't go into my whole life story but tl:dr tried her best but made hard by being emotionally unstable, unavailable, and would aid it with alcohol and verbal fights. Ok the reason why we're here. I (elder sibling) got kicked out with my dad in 2021. shit got worse in early 2022 with her in financial. Kicked my second oldest sister out during that time. Mom's mom died later that year in September. Forced the rest of my younger siblings to live with us for no reason after it. Horrible funeral/week due to her shit talking, and has been absent pretty much since then. Sure my younger siblings had the visits every other week but it slowly turned into months and now going into more than half a year. During the months of no visits "she" would text my younger siblings through social media, we come from a foreign family so older family members don't have much of an English grasp (unless its my dad multilingual mf) and "her" messages got more articulated in English grammar, at first it was more noticeable with the emails between my parents with her usual simple and poor one sentences, all of sudden proper English with paragraphs. It took so time after those first emails that the text between my siblings and mom started to look the same as the emails. This may be wrong on our part but we had suspicion that someone else was texting for her, so dad found some new guy that was friends on Facebook with her and when the kids visited her they confirmed that it was the same guy living with her. Dad found the 2 ex-wives (out of 3) of his and found out he's a huge con artist that's not allowed to fly internationally (due to his arrest as a con artist, his visa is stripped.) The new boyfriends plan usually was to meet some hopeless women, have a kid and then get married, then proceeded to lie about needing money for sick family in the USA, at first he was in the USA then left to the CAD after he left his first wife. He proceeded to do that for the rest of them. Currently, he's not allowed to talk to the kids from his first and one of the kids from his third ex-wives, while he still allowed visitation rights for the other one and the one he has with his second ex-wife. You may be wondering why this was included but it's because since dad still talks to the second and third ex-wives, he's found out that mom has been seen her boytoys kids more than her own kids, since he needs a supervisor when he visits his kids. When we found out he was texting for mom, dad emailed them telling him to stop texting to the younger kids as mom or else the cops were going to get involved, he replied showing no means to stop and this had happened in December 2022-Jaurary 2023. Ever since then they stopped trying hide the fact that it was him texting as her, and slowly over time though we had blocked her on all social media platforms. Before we had blocked her though, my oldest younger sister, started texting mom telling her to leave us alone and that, us, as the kids didn't want anything to do with her anymore until she stopped the abusive cycle she's put us all in. During all of that, she was calling the same sister at random times at night which started to affect her mental health really badly and she couldn't go to school cause of it. It got worse when she randomly showed up at my her and my little brothers school doing something with their school information, mom tried saying hi and saying she missed them, which scared my sister more thinking she was going to show up again. She tried telling mom that what she was doing was affecting her really badly, they proceeded to respond in the most foolish way, "thinking" that dad was texting, when my sister was trying to be the most professional she could be in that situation. After that situation, all the siblings blocked mom on everything and mom had previous encounters on social media already, so I kept her unblocked on gmail so I could laugh at the emails she can send, like today. The first email is proof how they would respond when they though it was dad, and the second one is from today and you can see the grammatical difference between the two, which explains our suspicions and why we did what we did. By the way, the reason why we can't do anything to restrict communication between mom and my siblings is because here we have a law where only 15+ can get some sort of a restraining order against someone and the oldest sibling of the youngest is a year or 2 from being able to, and for dad, this all still going through court trials (this why 2022 was shitty to begin with) cause of that, dad's been trying co-operative while mom has been doing the complete opposite, causing the court stuff to drag on. As much as what we're doing isn't the nicest or what you would call supportive but 18+ years of neglect, harm, and deprivation has caused a lot of pain and struggle coming into adulthood and with mom doing these moments still, I feel like I'm getting dragged back into my little self. Every one of my siblings shows their hurt from her in their different ways but not gonna lie with these months of no communication with mom, I've seen my family grow into people we should've been growing up with her, I don't have my old habits like tiptoeing everytime, everyday just for talk or food, or having to blust music 24/7 into headphones because she'd always scream at anyone for doing something wrong, we joke without worrying about someone commenting negative, we can play and rough house without yelling, we can be loud without someone screaming to shut the hell up, we can do our chores whenever we can, not being screamed at to do it at this moment. There's been ups and downs with our growth but this is a lot better than being not human living with her.
This year's mother's Day hasn't been pleasant, but I do enjoy the company of my grandma's, alive and dead. Happy mother's Day.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/lolfuckno.
This post was originally posted to weddingshaming.
There was already a BoRU post by u/autochthonouschimera, which didn't include the last update yet.
TRIGGER WARNING: cheating, child neglect, extreme entitledness, talk of abortion
MOOD SPOILERS: infuriating, confusing, frustrating
The new update at the bottom of this post has been marked with --- ---
EDIT/DISCLAIMER: FFS FOLLOW THE NO BRIGADING RULE = DO NOT COMMENT ON THE ORIGINAL POSTS LINKED IN BoRUs!! THIS OFC ALSO INCLUDES NOT TEXTING THE OOP DIRECTLY, NOT REPORTING THEM TO SUBS LIKE care AND NOT INCLUDING THEM IN THREADS AND DISCUSSIONS!! LEAVE THEM ALONE, THIS SUB IS MADE TO LURK AND GET SOME SPICY STORIES WITH CLOSURE, NOT TO HARRASS PEOPLE WHO ALREADY GOT ALOT OF INPUT THROUGH DIFFERENT SUBs!!
Original story was posted on December 7, 2021
Okay, so this girl I know from high school is getting married. We're both 22, for reference. In our senior year of high school she got pregnant, with baby daddy A who will be referred to as Adam. Her super conservative parents kicked her out and she ended up moving in with a friend's family. She barely graduated high school. The only reason she did were because of the generosity and support of our teachers and students who volunteered to help her, which is how we met. We were in the same law class in the morning and she had the worst morning sickness that really affected her ability to be in class. So, I took extra notes for her, tutored her, and brought her her stuff if she hadn't come back by the bell. I wasn't the only one who did stuff like this for her and I know she really appreciates all the assistance we gave her. She had the baby a month after we graduated.
She'd signed up for a 911 dispatcher course for after high school because where we live it's a good steady job, with opportunity for certificates and promotions. But she didn't realize how intensive the course would be and had to drop out. She started working at a grocery store bakery, just until she had a better plan. Adam started an apprenticeship while working part time at a hockey rink, and proposed to her literally the day of her eighteenth birthday, and brought up marriage because "it's the right thing to do" (I don't really agree with that but this isn't about me) and she was always refusing.
She started cheating on him after a while (we're all 19 now), and eventually leaves him for another guy because... She's pregnant again and it is far more likely that this guy, baby daddy B who will be referred to as Brad, is the father of the child. Neither of them can afford lawyers so getting any kind of custody agreement is a mess, and then their parents got involved and they did 50/50 split (still not made official). She has the baby, that does turn out to be Brad's, and everything is okay for about nine months, when she finds out Brad has been cheating on her with his TA. Brad decides to pay child support but doesn't really want contact with the kid, only around holidays and one weekend a month for his parents' sake.
She moves back in with her parents (we're all 20 now) who only accept her back because there's grandchildren around. On the plus side, (when she's 21) she gets to take that year long dispatcher course, and passes with flying colours!
After working as a dispatcher for a year (we're all 22 now) she meets a police officer we'll call Chad, who's 26 and married... And Adam's second (?) cousin (I can't remember how they're related, just that Adam and Chad are related somewhat distantly). She has an affair with him (infidelity is super common among cops apparently). She gets knocked up, his wife divorces him, Chad proposes because "it's the right thing to do", she accepts, and her parents kick her out again for being a [insert expletive here], she moves in with Chad with her two kids. They've started planning the wedding, which... Given the background is something akin to a dumpster fire. Adam is LIVID. He was desperately in love with this girl and hasn't really recovered from what she did to him, and while she rejected his proposals years ago, she's accepted one FROM HIS COUSIN WHO PROPSED FOR THE SAME REASON HE DID.
Adam has basically made a call for loyalty in the family, dividing everyone one who should go, who should give money, etc plus they're having trouble planning anything because of COVID. Her parents have outright said that they're not going, along with half of her family, and her younger sister has been going around and sabotaging what plans they can make.
She has asked me to be a bridesmaid, I said that I couldn't because I live in a different province now, but the truth is, I do not want to be wrapped up in that clusterfuck in any way . I'm just watching the arguments and events unfold on social media because this is quite honestly the most entertaining thing I've seen all year. It's weird to me that she even asked because we're not friends, we never have been. We were friendly strangers in high school, I just helped her out for one class because she needed help and I could give it to her. I was just being nice. But based on how she turned out I'm just sad for her. Three kids in four years, and she's alienated so much of her friends and family because if her actions, and I'm torn between feeling sorry for her and putting my head in my hands.
EDIT 1:
First off, all of your comments are hilarious. Second, I'm going to answer some of the common questions.
We're from a city with over 400,000 thousand people, she just comes from the neighbourhood that is made of either bible thumpers or white trash, with no in between. But the high school we went to was in a completely different neighbourhood than that.
Our school had a pretty good sex Ed course, and they gave out free condoms and had resources to help girls get birth control, and they had programs in place for if students ever got pregnant/were going to be teen parents (they also had one of those classes with the dolls for girls who were high risk at teen pregnancy but she wasn't high risk so she wasn't in that class) I don't if BC just didn't work for her, or if she never tried it.
She started alienating her friends after the affair with Chad came out, because people weren't exactly jumping for joy that she'd broken up a marriage (Chad and his ex didn't have any kids, thankfully, so there were less obstacles). When people weren't immediately ecstatic for her she started getting very snippy, rude, and was "calling the bitches out" on social media for not supporting her new relationship or pregnancy. (Tbh I'm really worried about her health because having this many babies so close together is just not good for her health, mental or physical.) People are also worried that Chad will cheat on her "if he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you" and think she should avoid marrying him so that she can just leave him if it happens.
I'll give you updates as they come out, but so far it's just a lot of yelling on social media (mostly from her), some relatives slut shaming her, and people who are just really worried about her because, as funny as this is, this doesn't seem like healthy behaviour.
EDIT 2:
First off, I realized I never gave this girl a name. For the sake of clarity we'll call her Beth. I realize that I didn't mention this before, but all of these are fake names.
Second, to everyone commenting that Chad is at fault for his marriage breaking up, believe me I'm well aware of that. It is his ex wife and her family/friends who solely blame Beth. Chad is also older than her and has more life experience, so I do believe that he could potentially be taking advantage of her naivete. However, she is also an adult who is capable of making her own decisions and has chosen to make poor ones in the past.
Third, people who are upset that I'm posting this story here, claiming I'm humiliating her. She has been posting about this mess on every social media platform she has since they got engaged in July. She put this out there long before I did except she did so in front of friends, family, employers, and coworkers, as well as internet randos.
Fourth, despite getting engaged in July and attempting to start planning then, I was only asked to be a bridesmaid three days ago. I knew that there was a mess going on but I didn't really pay attention to it until she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I tried to ask what was going on, I said that she should talk to someone, but when she completely brushed me off I checked her FB and Instagram and found out about all of... This.
Fifth, I realized that I didn't really talk about how disastrous the wedding planning has been going, see here you go:

• they've had to rebook three times because venues and vendors kept cancelling when infection numbers got worse even thought their wedding was months away
• Beth has been flipping between having the wedding while she's pregnant saying she's proud of her bump, and wanting to wait until they're born because she feels fat, which is unfortunate because she's been breaking down due her insecurity on a public platform
• Beth is currently seven months pregnant
• Beth's great aunt was going to give her her wedding dress to wear (after she gives birth) but Beth's mom freaked and stole the dress from said aunt before Beth could get it and is now keeping it, the great aunt says she's too old to get in a fight and has shrugged it off
• Chad's immediate family is paying for the wedding and has been cut off by the rest of their extended family for 'choosing Chad'
• Beth's wedding colours are pink and green, which is usually a nice combo but the specific shades don't go great together, they're her and Chad's favourite colours, which is fine but she literally made a video talking about these colours for 14 minutes on her insta and both of her kids are just full on bawling in the background and she's ignoring them and she's gotten some flack for that
• Adam is finally settled into his trade and has now hired a lawyer and is trying to get primary custody and not allow his daughter to go to the wedding
• she's planning a zoom baby showebachelorette party and has sent out a registry and she's asking for crazy expensive things
• she's also set up a go fund me to help pay for a honeymoon and is making a lot of posts about how no one loves her cause the fund only has $1267 of the $20k she wanted

I'll update when I can but I'm still in school and while I do want to help her, she's refused help offered in the past and there's only so much of this I can take mentally right now.
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UPDATE:
Hey everyone, so some stuff has gone down, and it doesn't look like it's over yet. Sorry, I didn't update sooner, but Rona came back with a vengeance and totally messed up plans with uni and family. Anyway, onto the update.
From the last update - 16th - Lots of ranting and chaotic wedding planning on social media, she found a dress and has decided she will get married while pregnant, they found a local wedding venue that is very lovely, but I'm shocked she's still trying to book stuff with all of their previous venue cancellations.
December 16th - Her little sister unblocked her to call her a s*ut and tell her that all her wedding plans were stupid. This resulted in a petty and entertaining facebook war until the little sis blocked her again on the 17th.
December 18th - Beth went nuts on social media because Adam had "kidnapped" their daughter, what really happened is that because courts are moving at a snail's pace due to COVID and Adam had reason to believe that their daughter was not safe living with Beth he decided to just... Not give her back. They don't have a custody agreement, and when Beth tried to call the cops they couldn't do anything because he was kinda right. There were dozens of videos on her various social media accounts of her ignoring their daughter, yelling at her daughter for crying or doing other things that toddlers do, it turns out that everything she needed was bought by Adam, food, diapers, clothes, toys, daycare (while it was open) etc. on top of the unofficial child support he was paying every month (which turned out to be $500 a month, a number I find ridiculous because Adam was already paying for literally everything) because she refused to buy anything for her daughter and insisted it was Adam's responsibility. Additionally, after the immediate post-birth appointments, Beth never took baby A to a doctor's appointment, she always deferred that to Adam. Baby A's pediatrician has NEVER met Beth. Beth even tried to get Chad to push back or intimidate him or something, but the local police where we live are under one hell of a microscope after a bunch of dirty cops got busted a couple of years ago. Basically, the cops, and the social worker they ended up calling, ended up saying there was nothing she could do until they get to court. The social worker tried to get her to go to therapy and parenting classes, but Beth refused and went on a fifteen paragraph long rant on Facebook about how she doesn't need parenting classes or therapy (she really, really does though) and called the social worker some choice words.
December 19-24 - Just a bunch of ranting on social media, calling everyone who doesn't enable or justify her behaviour cuss words, slurs, and a whole bunch of other horribly creative things. Also, both she and Chad are under investigation at work now, but she has no idea why. I'm gonna take this time to remind everyone that 99% of this info is coming from her public social media pages where her coworkers are friends and place of employment is listed.
December 25 - I am officially embarrassed to know this woman. I didn't go on her FB page until the evening cause I didn't want to deal with drama, first thing in the morning, on Xmas. In the morning she put on a very beautiful blue maternity dress, got Chad in his police blues, and baby B in a purple romper, and then live-streamed her and her family going to the courthouse to get married on Christmas day. (According to her Twitter, part of this was because their newest venue cancelled on them after COVID numbers spiked) Overall, a pretty tacky thing in my opinion because she stated plain as day, several times, that she intended her wedding anniversary to eclipse Christmas for her children because it's just "so much more special, you know?" (I am so glad that Baby B's grandparents are filing for guardianship) But here's the thing... The courthouse isn't open. Because of COVID for one thing, but also because it's Xmas and Canada has a predominantly Christian history. She proceeded to have a full meltdown, and when Baby B cried because, y'know, the kid's mom was screaming up a storm and scaring her, Beth called her a c*nt. Yup. So done with this bitch.
December 28 - I ran into her at a vaccine clinic cause we were both getting our booster shots. She didn't recognize me at first but one of my old bosses (cause I used to work at the hospital the vaccine clinic was in) called my name and said hi, so she came up to me after my old boss had left. We talked a bit while we sat down for the mandatory waiting period after getting the shot. She asked how I was but didn't even wait for me to respond before she started ranting and complaining about her life. I was just going to sit there until the time was up and then just politely make my exit, but when she started talking shit about her kids something inside me snapped. I just said "Do you even like your kids? Do you like being a mom?" She got pretty quiet for a second and then said "no". Idk, her voice and demeanour completely changed and we just sat in silence until our time was up. I said goodbye but it was really awkward.
December 31st (today) - I just looked at her feed and, this is such a shocking what-the-actual-f*** moment. She's thinking about giving up her kids. She went on about how recently she was asked if she liked her kids or being a mom, and how she realized that she didn't. She hates her children and blames them for ruining her life, and how she doesn't want to be a mom. I mean, nothing is official yet, but what the hell?!
I'll update as stuff happens now that I have the time, but this whole thing has been a big giant mess. Also, sorry for any formatting or grammatical errors, I'm not used to using Reddit on my PC.
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UPDATE
Okay, so, some stuff has happened and most of it's good? Also, the TL:DR for this update will be at the bottom
Jan 4th - Beth (and Chad) stopped posting on all social media. I was actually a little worried she died, I mean this woman posts everything short of her trips to the bathroom on IG.
Oddly enough, this got people messaging or interacting with her social media pages because she was usually the one to start contact, and that contact was usually yelling. No one heard from them and some people started to be like "should we call the cops for a wellness check?" Until Chad posted a status saying that they're fine but are "busy, please stop trying to contact us right now". Everyone listened but it was weird.
Jan 11 - I got a notification that Beth and Chad are active on social media again, but I didn't feel like drama so I didn't check out any of their posts.
Jan 12 (today) - she messaged me on FB asking me to be her MOH. She also kept going on about the resort in Cancun that she and Chad were looking to have their wedding at... This coming February. Omnicrom is really bad where we are, so no one should be travelling anywhere. I've actually had to delay my trip back to the province where I go to university. No one should be travelling anywhere.
Beth also found out that Chad was cheating on her with one of her co-workers and called the woman a "homewrecker" on FB tagged her, and posted the texts she found on Chad's phone. But Chad is the "love of her life" so she's forgiven him, but not the other woman. Which I find very hypocritical, considering how she and Chad got together.
She also sent pics of possible bridesmaid dresses and they are the most hideous dresses I've ever seen. I know that some brides do that thing where they want to look a million times better by comparison but this was just ridiculous. One of them looked like a partially deflated balloon with feathers strapped to it. She also openly admitted that she expected everyone attending to pay 3k, 2k would go towards that guest's stay at the resort and 1k would go to her and Chad and they will expected wedding gifts, so that they could get their room for free. Apparently, she talked to someone at the resort and if she got enough people to book their rooms she and Chad would get theirs for free. She also wanted the money to be given to her instead of directly to the hotel so that people wouldn't realize that she was taking 1k of their money. Beth sent me a pic of the wedding dress she wanted, and it's definitely a clubbing dress. If that's what she wants that's fine (and for the record I do think she would look great in it, Beth's (current) dream wedding dress ) but she wants all the guests to be dressed black tie. And she's already sent a list of unreasonable requests. Such as;

• all women must wear heels (for a wedding in the beach???)
• no one is allowed to have a baby or be pregnant (really?)
• girls must have longer than shoulder length hair, boys must have very short hair, only and inch or two long
• no one is allowed to be skinnier than her
• she will be providing diets for everyone attending based on how she wants us to look
• she and Chad must get bachelor and bachelorette parties both in Canada and in Mexico that need to be "fit for a king and queen" and both must be paid for but anyone but the bride and groom "cause that's just tacky"
• no unnatural hair
• no tattoos (you have five tattoos, Beth, and in the dress you want all will be on full display)
• no one is allowed to talk to her directly, they must speak through the MOH and BM

Honestly there's a lot more but I didn't feel like typing all that out. She's posted the list on FB and IG and people are already calling her a bridezilla.
I was also just kinda weirded out because aside from the previous convo at the hospital and when she originally asked me to be a bridesmaid, we haven't spoken since high school. So I respectfully declined, stating that the virus and school were my top concerns right now. Then, I decided to check her socials to see if she'd posted anything. She had and everything was basically how it was before the hiatus... Except her kids are nowhere to be found. No "look at my cute baby" pics are kids crying in the background of her videos. Nothing. Though, based on her new pics of herself, she's given birth to baby C. I mean, she's definitely still recovering, but she also definitely had a baby and that baby is not on any of her socials, so when she responded to my decline with an attempt at guilting me to be her MOH, I asked her where her kids were. This was her response.
"Oh, I left them at the side of the road in our way home from the hospital those moochers could walk home lol"
I was like, please tell me you're not being serious (especially cause it looks like she had the baby days ago). And she replied "I was just joking you shouldn't be so serious all the time". Honey, you made a joke about child abandonment/abuse, you're not being serious enough. And then I finally got the update on the kids.

• Baby A is still with Adam, Beth signed away her rights
• Baby B and Baby C have been given to a mutual cousin of Adam and Chad who is infertile (tbh I didn't need that last tidbit of info or the three paragraph long rant about how God hates infertile women, I didn't even read all of it, I couldn't, and I didn't think that Beth could be so cruel to even think those things). I checked out the FB page of Baby B's grandparents and they're happy with their grandchild's new parents, it looks like the cousin and her husband and welcoming them to the family as another set of grandparents and will let them have access to B. So yay!
• One thing I do need to stress though is that because of COVID the courts in our areas are either moving at a snail's pace or closed, so none of this is "official" but Beth (and Chad) has signed paperwork and all that needs to happen now is presenting that to a judge.

And when I rejoined our convo she said the doc she had for baby C gave her brith control, and she was surprised cause after her first pregnancy she asked her doctor for it but he refused to give her any. She mentioned that her old doctor was also her mom's and sister's doctor, she ended up asking the doc who delivered baby C to be her new doctor, so I hope that works out.
After learning all this my convo with Beth started to go down hill...
Beth: wait, did you actually think I would just leave my kids at the side of the road! I just didn't want to be a mom, but I wasn't a bad one
Me: Beth, I think that you've been through a lot of trauma in the past few years, and that it's gotten to you mentally and that you should speak to a professional.
(Of course, Beth has been a bad mom, but she does need mental health help and I wasn't going to convince her to get it, or to not tell at me, if I said that )
Beth: what? You think I'm crazy?!
Me: no. I think that getting kicked out as a teen because of a pregnancy and having your family actively reject you and try to sabotage you must have been very painful. Plus, pregnancy puts a lot of mental stress on women and you've had three in such a short time span, I just want you to take care of yourself and get what you want in life, and I think that will start with you taking care of your mental health.
Beth: what I want... IS FOR YOU TO GO STRAIGHT TO HELL! Beth then calls me every cuss word, expletive, and derogatory word she can think of one of the words she called me was a derogatory word about people from my ethnicity and my blood is boiling that she thought it was okay to say that to me.
So, I'm now on her hit list. She's been blowing up my social media all day, on her last FB post where she called me a slur she said that she still expects a good wedding gift from me. Yeah, no. So I've blocked her on everything, and I've decided to completely cut off contact. This will be my last update.
TL:DR - Beth went on a social media blackout for a bit, had baby C. Gave up all her kids, baby A is still with Adam, Baby B and Baby C are with a mutual cousin of Adam and Chad and baby B's grandparents have access. Chad cheated on her and she forgave him, but she probably shouldn't have. She's decided to have her wedding in a little over a month in Cancun and is expecting unreasonable things of everyone already. She asked me to be MOH I respectfully declined. I also suggested that she talk to a mental health professional because she's been through a lot in the last few years and she cussed me out, she also called me a derogatory name directed at people of my ethnicity and that was the final nail in the coffin. I'm now on her hit list. But her kids are safe and I have no interest in going to wedding so I'm cutting contact completely and have already blocked her on all my socials. I'm refusing to be involved with her anymore and will not be updating on the situation.
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--- EDIT - NEW UPDATE --- - JANUARY 25, 2023 - TL:DR AT THE BOTTOM
Hi, everyone, I didn't think I would be making another update, but here I am. I don't know if anyone will even care but whatever. I saw a YouTuber, Charlotte Dobre, do an entire video about this post on Facebook (which was funny, she did it well), [editor's note: here's the video in question and also: check out Charlotte Dobre's subreddit !] and got so nervous that Beth was gonna see it. Turned out, she's seen it and does not give a single damn, because as I pointed out, the majority of the info in this post came from her public social media. She also doesn't know who posted it (more on that in the update). I am still no contact with Beth and have no plans to change that anytime soon, but we have mutual friends who have told and shown me what's happened.
First things first, she and Chad did get married, but they eloped. According to all sources they are completely and utterly miserable though. Chad has proven to be and overall lazy and unfaithful husband, and Beth has really gotten into feminism (with a focus on reproductive issues) after she started using birth control, and Roe v Wade getting overturned (even though we're in Canada) really caused tension in their marriage. As it turns out, Chad thinks that abortion is murder and God created women for the purpose of making babies.
Beth tried to argue that not all women want or should be mothers using herself as an example, and then Chad went ahead and used her as an example of why women should be forced to have kids, because in the end she gave kids to an infertile couple. She didn't take that well and said that her entire life and future was ripped away from her and destroyed the second she got pregnant with baby A. Adam was never slut shamed or demeaned like she was, both at home and at school (which is a fair point, myself and many others were helpful and supportive but there were a lot of people who judged the hell out of her and said really nasty stuff) and that if she hadn't gotten pregnant she would've gone to college or university because she lost the general and financial support of her family with that positive pregnancy test. Chad has made a Tinder account. Beth was informed but it doesn't seem like she gave a damn.
So basically you could cut the tension with a knife.
And with her family, her sister came out as gay and cut off/has been cut off from their parents. But she's got a partial scholarship so she's doing okay. She and Beth are NOT on good terms but have met up and acknowledged that their parents messed them up by being religious nuts and their parents encouraged them to be competitive with each other and sabotage each other. Apparently their dad's motto is "competition brings out the best in everyone" (ugh). But they've talked and that's good enough for now.
Neither Beth nor Chad have custody or visitation of their children, which Chad is starting to regret because he's suddenly getting more and more into the church and religion. Chad talked to Beth about getting baby C back but Beth shut that down hard and warned the cousin who adopted baby C (officially and legally btw).
Beth started going to therapy after she and Chad got married, which makes me very happy and excited for her.
There was a rumour going around that Chad has a mistress and it took me a while to confirm, but it's true. He's cheating on her with a paramedic and she knows. Beth is fully aware. Idk if she plans to do anything about it or just continue to ignore it, but I hope she leaves his ass. I'm still not gonna talk to her, she crossed so many lines, but she's grown and improved a lot and her life would be a lot better without that sac of scum in her life.
Now, I have given a few details in my post that should've revealed my identity to her, namely her asking me to be her MOH. I have found out that she actually asked around 15 girls (including myself) to be her MOH, without telling any of us about the others because she was trying to get money from all of us and because her mental health has just been very bad and she needed help. And of those 15, 8 have been going to school out of province and of those eight we all had basically the same classes in high school. And apparently doesn't remember our discussion at the vaccination clinic and had major blow up with everyone she asked to be MOH. So she knows it's one of 8 people and reportedly has no interest in trying to narrow that number down. (Chad did the same thing with his groomsmen, but idk any of the numbers)
TL:DR Beth and Chad got married (eloped), are miserable, have zero custody or visitation with any of their children, Chad's cheating and Beth doesn't appear to care, Chad is super sexist, Beth is a feminist now, Beth's sister is gay and they've talked but not reconciled, Beth asked too many girls to be MOH for money and doesn't know the ID of who made this post.
Dear "Beth", if this post gets forwarded to you or somehow graces your phone screen, leave Chad. He's trash and you'll be much better without him in your life. And though I'm not willing to talk to you again because of your words and actions, I do wish for you to have a wonderful and happy life.
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Please remember the NO BRIGADING RULE: do not comment on the original posts linked in BoRUs, see Rule 7. Doing so can result into a permanent ban from this sub and the other linked sub(s).
I'm not the OOP!

6 Days since I was sextorted. I don’t know if they’ve given up or are continuing to pursue me but I’ve deactivated all Meta related apps and blocked them anywhere else. What I need to understand is how they work in hopes to protect myself in the future and how to avoid them from finding me. Below is my situation:

1. Matched Hinge, decent back and forth, I asked for socials - didn’t give insta but went to snap
   
2. Snapchat; talked back and forth a little here and there - 4 days later my idiot self made the dumb mistake of sending pics after “she” sent many before
   
3. I was then asked to meet up for a date and “call me let’s setup a date”. At this point I was not suspicious as it seemed genuine to follow-up. They asked for WhatsApp. I don’t have WhatsApp and don’t like it linked to my #. However, I made a google voice # just to be safe and registered with that (all on my phone fyi). I sent a message, tried calling, got disconnected and WhatsApp banned my account instantly.
   
4. This was suspicious and I told “her” that it didn’t go through and that I got banned, so then I got a SMS on my google voice #. And then instantly they sent me all the videos/photos that I had sent recorded on their end and began the sextortion. At this point I was freaking out, I immediately blocked them on Snap and Hinge. Uninstalled WhatsApp. And then I continued getting messages on my Google Voice SMS. I didn’t block them here, I didn’t respond at ALL on any platforms. I just kept it in case I needed proof and SMS is generally not interactive in any way.
   
5. After this, they made an instagram acct with one of my photos and posted some (thank god not all) photos and tagged some ppl from my friends list on instagram. I reported and blocked this acct. They made a second one, I reported and blocked. They made one on Facebook and started commenting on my recent posts as well as messaging ppl on my friends list trying to either befriend or share photos. I blocked the acct but I forgot to report it in the panic (idk if it’s up or not but I unblocked to see if I can get to their profile to report but I couldn’t so maybe gone?)
   
6. I also received a FB messenger notification saying the usual “you want me to stop? Just tell me” etc. I had my Instagram PRIVATE before this. I was dumb enough to have FB public. Since then I updated everything to private, and then deactivated. I’ve occasionally reactivated to check for any notifications/messages. Last time I checked was 3 days ago. No new msgs since the first 2 accounts on instagram and 1 on facebook.
   

Question 1: Massive embarrassment aside, would I be safe to think that they’ll stop pursuing me? I’ve also updated my instagram username. But they did send me screenshots of my friends list. So will they try to find them and still attempt sextortion?
Question 2: HOW the hell did they find my instagram and facebook? Aside from my first name (which is VERY common), the usernames on Snap and Meta apps aren’t even the same?? I never gave my real number, and I didn’t give my address? This is what’s confusing the hell out of me because there is NO way in hell they just “searched” me up because friends I WANT to add me have trouble finding me.
Question 3: Will changing my Instagram username and making FB private be sufficient to not have a repeat incident? Or is it better to remove accounts and restart from scratch?
My heart literally drops when I get unknown callers and crap now, ugh I hate this and I know it’s partially my fault for even sending them but just want to move past it and make the most out of this failure in maintaining privacy moving forward. My main goal is to make sure they can’t come back and restart.
Thank you for all your help and support, this has been very supportive!

Here we go: I (32f) just found out that I’m 8 weeks pregnant with my boyfriend (Andy) of 2 years child (25m). This would normally be a no-brainer, as I generally feel that fathers have a right to this knowledge, however this is a bit of a weird situation. Andy and I have had an extremely contentious relationship that has caused severe mistrust on my end. This has been caused by poor communication on both ends, poor decision making and negative outside influences. Last year we went through a period where I needed to disengage and end my friendship with my (at the time) best friend Emily. Emily is a gaslighter and it took me several years to see how dysfunctional and one-sided our friendship was. She had become really integrated into Andy’s circle, and he & Em became closer after she began pursuing a relationship with Andy’s friend. He would confide in her about arguments, she used these opportunities to triangulate him and essentially derailed our relationship for several months. After I heard (from other friends who have since cut off em as well) the horrible and largely untrue things she was saying about me, I asked Andy to stop speaking to her. We went through a pattern of him telling me he would, then turning around and unblocking her, having phone calls with her almost daily, etc. As soon as we had a fight, he was on the phone or texting Emily every detail, which she would then spread to anyone who would listen. it came to a head after em and I were at the same wedding. Afterwards I went home, and she went to Andy’s parents where he was house sitting and spent the night on the couch with him, staying there the rest of the weekend until he finally came home to our apartment on Sunday. There were several other people there, but he lied and did not mention her being there. He told me I was being crazy and jealous, and it wasn’t until I was completely ready to end things that he cut ties with her completely. Healing has taken months. While we’ve healed from that, we have several other issues we’ve been working through, on my side primarily centered around him hiding things, spending money on weed and alcohol when he hasn’t contributed to rent, lying by omission and outright about what he’s doing, his consumption of alcohol and (though not recently) use of Percocet/fent . On his side of things, I have been unfairly jealous, overly critical, invaded his privacy by looking through his phone, generally bitchy, etc. I know we absolutely are not in a good place (individually or as a couple) to have a child, and we both have a lot of self work to do. I will not carry this pregnancy to term, but this is where the issue lies. I am a very private person (aside from blabbing to the entire internet about my personal problems) and I do not want anyone that doesn’t HAVE to know about this to have any idea this happened. I’ve confided in one person, my mentor and work colleague, and I’m leaning towards keeping it that way. I fully support women’s rights and am proudly pro-choice, but live in the south where that mindset isn’t universal. While Andy no longer has contact with Emily, several of Andy’s best friends still hang out with her. Andy has a habit of telling his friends everything, and I have a heavy gut feeling this would be no different. When he does, and Emily eventually hears this information, I might as well post it on Facebook. This has certainly brought a lot of things into perspective (like why am I in a relationship where trust doesn’t exist, and I’m the sole consistent provider for bills being paid, etc) but I’d like to know: would I be the asshole if I just carried out the pregnancy termination without informing him? How would I even do it? From what I hear it’s going to be painful and messy for several days and I’m not sure if I could even successfully hide it.