DAY: MAY 20 2024
5-20-2024

Why nightmares and ‘daymares’ could be early warning signs of autoimmune disease

An increase in nightmares and hallucinations—or ‘daymares’—could herald the onset of autoimmune diseases such as lupus, say an international team led by researchers at the University of Cambridge and King’s College London. The researchers argue that there must be greater recognition that these types of mental health and neurological symptoms can act as an early warning sign that an individual is approaching a “flare,” where their disease worsens for a period.
5-20-2024 Yoga and meditation-induced altered states of consciousness are common in the general population, study says
Yoga, mindfulness, meditation, breathwork, and other practices are gaining in popularity due to their potential to improve health and well-being. The effects of these practices are mostly positive and occasionally transformational, yet they are known to sometimes be associated with challenging altered states of consciousness. New research by a team including investigators from Massachusetts General Hospital reveals that altered states of consciousness associated with meditation practice are far more common than expected. Although many people reported positive outcomes, that were sometimes even considered transformational, from these experiences, for a substantial
5-20-2024 Examining the benefits of out-of-network care for pediatric moyamoya
Total in-episode expenses and resource use before the index surgery (preop) and including/after the surgery (postop). The comparisons are separated for analysis into (A) single institution cohorts (1 and 2) and (B) multi?institution cohorts (3 and 4). Moyamoya disease is a rare condition that affects the blood vessels in the brain, especially in children. Narrowing and blockage of vessels significantly increases the risk of stroke and requires surgical revascularization for treatment. Although research shows that outcomes of revascularization are better
5-20-2024 Study explores links between social media use, mental health and sleep quality
The more time you spend on social media, the greater the likelihood of having unpleasant social-media related dreams that cause distress, sleep disruption and impact our peace of mind. Flinders University’s Reza Shabahang says that the vast and rapid adoption of social media has the potential to influence various aspects of life, including the realm of dreaming. “As social media becomes increasingly intertwined with our lives, its impact extends beyond waking hours, and may influence our dreams,”
5-20-2024 How are asthma and heart health linked?
Although the heart and lungs are neighbors in your chest, people may think of them as separate entities with unrelated problems. But a growing body of evidence suggests that asthma—one of the most common lung disorders—is a risk factor for cardiovascular disease. Asthma is a serious chronic disease in which airways are inflamed, often in response to specific triggers. It affects about 25 million people in the U.S., including nearly 5 million children, causing millions of annual visits to doctors’ offices and emergency rooms. “We call these major changes
5-20-2024 STUDY EXPLORES PATIENT TRUST IN PHYSICIANS
Trust in one’s physician drives positive health practices. In a scoping review, SUNY Poly Professor of Sociology Dr. Linda R. Weber discovered new developments in the measurement of trust, identified those measures of trust that have known reliability and validity, and compared those instruments’ conceptualizations, dimensions, and indicators. The paper is published in the journal PLOS ONE. Weber explains that 10 dimensions emerged from the study: fidelity, technical competence, communicative competence, interpersonal competence (i.e., caring), honesty, confidentiality, global, behavioral, fairness, and system trust/accountability. In addition, these findings provide the foundation
5-20-2024 TIMESAVING TIPS FOR COOKING HEALTHY MEALS
Living a busy, fast-paced life can make it hard to find the motivation to cook a healthy meal at home. However, learning some shortcuts in the kitchen can keep your healthy eating goals on track and help you avoid grazing on unhealthy snacks, grabbing the first thing you see in the fridge or going out for fast food. Why cook at home? Research shows that maintaining a healthy weight is challenging when you eat out too frequently. Restaurant portions often are super-sized
5-20-2024 UNDERSTANDING PERIMENOPAUSE VS. MENOPAUSE
Menopause marks a significant transition for women, yet understanding its precursor, perimenopause, and its symptoms can be complex. Dr. Stephanie Faubion, director of Mayo Clinic’s Center for Women’s Health and medical director of The Menopause Society, says experiencing perimenopause and menopause can be confusing for some. She says it is not only patients who may find it confusing, but medical providers as well, due to lack of training in menopause management. “Menopause is defined by no menstrual cycle for a year,” says Dr. Faubion.
5-20-2024 LOW-DOSE IRON SUPPLEMENTATION HAS NO BENEFIT FOR BREASTFED INFANTS, SHOWS STUDY
The American Pediatric Association recommends iron supplements to all healthy infants who breastfeed longer than four months, while its European counterpart, Society of Gastroenterology, Hepataology and Nutrition, does not recommend it. These deviating guidelines stimulated researchers to design a new study. Breastfeeding is strongly recommended, and the proportion of children are breastfed during the first half of life is high. The researchers wanted to determine whether breastfeeding babies could benefit from extra iron.
5-20-2024 ALLERGY MEDICATIONS COME WITH HAZARDS: BE AWARE
People with seasonal allergies often turn to over-the-counter and prescription medicines to relieve symptoms like coughing, sneezing, runny nose, congestion and itchy eyes, nose or throat. But they often aren’t aware that these meds—including antihistamines—have as much risk for potential side effects, drug interactions and overdose as other drugs. “All medicines have side effects associated with them even when they are taken appropriately and according to dosing directions on the label,”
5-20-2024 I CAN’T AFFORD OLIVE OIL—WHAT ELSE CAN I USE?
If you buy your olive oil in bulk, you’ve likely been in for a shock in recent weeks. Major supermarkets have been selling olive oil for up to A$65 for a four-liter tin, and up to $26 for a 750 milliliter bottle. We’ve been hearing about the health benefits of olive oil for years. And many of us are adding it to salads, or baking and frying with it. But during a cost-of-living crisis, these high prices can put olive oil out of reach. Let’s take a look at why
5-20-2024 Researchers uncover biological trigger of early puberty
Heather Brenhouse, associate professor of psychology, says disrupting the caretaker relationship can really traumatize a child or a developing rodent. Credit: Ruby Wallau/Northeastern University New research conducted by the Brenhouse Lab reveals how early life adversity triggers early puberty and late-life anxiety, paving the way for potential interventions. The onset of puberty has been creeping downward for decades. In the United States, the average age of girls reaching puberty ranges from 8.8 to 10.3 years old. The early start of puberty, which is associated with many health risks, can be
5-20-2024 Bioluminescence and 3D-printed implants shed light on brain–spinal interactions
Brain-spinal cord duet’s neurodynamic symphony is now accessible to scientists via novel multi-organ implants. Credit: Dmitrijs Celinskis A sensory process such as pain is no ordinary phenomenon—it’s a symphony of neural and vascular interactions orchestrated by the brain and spinal cord. Attempting to dissect this symphony by focusing on a single region is like trying to understand a complex melody by listening to just one instrument. It’s incomplete, potentially misleading, and may result in erroneous conclusions. Enter the Carney Institute’s team of visionaries. Their mission? To develop tools that allow
5-20-2024 New thesis explores cancer treatment that can prevent relapse
. What is the main focus of your thesis? Relapse following initial treatment efficacy remains a major clinical challenge for many cancers. The focus of my thesis has been to explore the therapeutic impact of immune cells in patients with blood cancer (leukemia), by first investigating which cells
5-20-2024 New study reveals health and social benefits of car-free living
Participating in a three-week car-free challenge has enhanced the health and well-being of Oxford residents, according to research conducted by The University of Bath’s Centre for Climate Change and Social Transformations (CAST), in partnership with climate charity Possible and Low Carbon Oxford North (LCON), conducted this research project. After ditching their cars for three weeks, 10 out of the 12 drivers across Oxford who participated said they plan to continue with reduced car use beyond the project. The findings of this research project show that: Day-to-day transport emissions were slashed
5-20-2024 Research shows linked biological pathways driving skin inflammation
A certain biological pathway—a set of linked reactions in the body—drives the inflammation seen in the skin disease psoriasis, a new study finds. The work could lead to improved therapies for all inflammatory skin diseases, including atopic and allergic dermatitis and a type of boil called hidradenitis suppurativa, say the study authors. The findings are published in the journal Immunity. Inflammation is the body’s natural response to irritation and infection, but when out of control, it can lead to the reddish, flaky, itchy lesions that
5-20-2024 Prescription co-payments linked to more hospital admissions in New Zealand, study finds
A new study from researchers cautions that bringing back the $5 co-payment for prescription medicines could see a jump in hospital admissions. The study analyzed health data for 71,502 people and found those who didn’t pick up a prescription because they couldn’t afford the $5 fee had a 34% higher rate of being admitted to hospital.
5-20-2024 How a simulation is informing COVID-19 vaccine policy after our ‘return to normal’
As the saying goes “There is no such thing as normal” and this has been especially true after the pandemic. Before the emergence of the omicron COVID-19 variant, countries like the U.K. had high vaccination coverage along with widespread exposure to COVID-19 in the population. This combination of vaccine and infection-derived immunity is termed hybrid immunity and is different to vaccine immunity or infection immunity alone. In contrast, other countries, including Australia, New Zealand and those in the Western Pacific, had a very different pandemic experience.
5-20-2024 Researchers find intriguing connections between Alzheimer’s disease and other common conditions
A study has found that while some medical conditions appear to increase our likelihood of developing Alzheimer’s disease, others appear to decrease the odds. The study, led by Dr. Yijun (Nicholas) Pan and Dr. Liang Jin, analyzed data from 2,443 older Australians living in Melbourne or Perth who are part of the Australian Imaging, Biomarker and Lifestyle (AIBL) study, an internationally recognized cohort for dementia research. “We found anxiety and other neurological disorders are associated with increased likelihood of Alzheimer’s disease,” Dr. Pan said.
5-20-2024 Prepping autistic or sound-sensitive kids for cicada noise
As Chicagoans await the emergence of the cicadas, parents of children on the autism spectrum and/or who have sensitivities to sound can take a few steps to prepare for what is expected to be a loud summer. “Some children on the spectrum can struggle with loud or unexpected noises, such as toilets that automatically flush, fireworks around the Fourth of July or the emergence of a large number of cicadas,”
5-20-2024 Study highlights importance of screening for rare inherited iron metabolism defects
Over 40% of cases curated based on stringent clinical and laboratory criteria from the Indian subcontinent have an inherited iron metabolism defect on comprehensive genomic evaluation, report investigators in The Journal of Molecular Diagnostics. Although iron deficiency anemia is the most prevalent form of anemia globally,
5-20-2024 Study finds tyrosine kinase Csk promotes germinal center B cell survival and affinity maturation
The authors found that Csk (a tyrosine kinase that attenuates B cell receptor signaling) is required for germinal center maintenance and efficient antibody maturation. The immune system strikes a fine balance by identifying and neutralizing disease-causing agents while carefully avoiding destruction of healthy tissues and cells. Now, researchers from Japan have shed new light on one of the processes that helps train immune cells to act only against genuine threats.
5-20-2024 Significant gaps between science of obesity and the care patients receive, say experts
As research continues to produce evidence about the underlying causes of obesity and optimal strategies to treat and manage obesity have evolved, there are disparities in application of the latest scientific advances in the clinical care that people with obesity receive. Widespread adoption of current findings, consistency of care and expertise in obesity care varies by health care professional and institution.
5-20-2024 Improving online depression treatment
Symptom course of depression for individuals who dropped out of treatment and those who completed treatment. In the dropout group, there is an initial decrease in symptoms while the patients were still in treatment, which tapers off as they drop out. For completers, there is close to a linear change over time. This suggests there is a relation between the more that an individual continues to participate in ICBT and their depressive symptom improvement.
5-20-2024 Women face worse chronic kidney disease management in primary care
Women receive worse primary care-based chronic kidney disease (CKD) management than men, according to a research letter adult patients with CKD receiving primary care at 15 practices using electronic health record data to examine sex disparities in guideline-based CKD management
5-20-2024 Bisoprolol does not reduce exacerbations in at-risk COPD patients
For patients with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), bisoprolol does not reduce the number of self-reported exacerbations treated with oral corticosteroids, antibiotics, or both, according to a study
5-20-2024 Anticancer potential of CLK kinase inhibitors 1C8 and GPS167 via EMT and antiviral immune response
The diheteroarylamide-based compound 1C8 and the aminothiazole carboxamide-related compound GPS167 inhibit the CLK kinases, and affect the proliferation of a broad range of cancer cell lines. A chemogenomic screen previously performed with GPS167 revealed that the depletion of components associated with mitotic spindle assembly altered
5-20-2024 Study sheds light on bacteria associated with pre-term birth
Researchers from North Carolina State University have found that multiple species of Gardnerella, bacteria sometimes associated with bacterial vaginosis (BV) and pre-term birth, can coexist in the same vaginal microbiome. The findings, published in mSystems, add to the emerging picture of Gardnerella’s effects on human health. Gardnerella is a group of anaerobic bacteria that are commonly found in the vaginal microbiome. Higher levels of the bacteria are a signature of BV and associated with higher risk of pre-term birth, but it is also found in women who have no sign
5-20-2024 New AI model uses federated learning for multi-organ segmentation based on medical image data
Researchers have successfully developed the technology that can accurately segment different body organs by effectively learning medical image data used for different purposes in different hospitals, which is expected to greatly contribute to the development of large-scale medical AI models in the future.
5-20-2024 Second Phase 3 clinical trial again shows dupilumab lessens disease in COPD patients with type 2 inflammation
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease patients with type 2 inflammation may soon gain access to a new drug—dupilumab—that showed rapid and sustained improvements in patients in a pivotal Phase 3 clinical trial, researchers report in the New England Journal of Medicine. This monoclonal antibody is the first biologic shown to improve clinical outcomes in COPD. The data supporting the use of dupilumab in COPD will be reviewed by the United States Food and Drug Administration in June. The disease improvements—as measured by a significantly lower annualized rate of acute exacerbations
5-20-2024 New AI model uses federated learning for multi-organ segmentation based on medical image data
Researchers have successfully developed the technology that can accurately segment different body organs by effectively learning medical image data used for different purposes in different hospitals, which is expected to greatly contribute to the development of large-scale medical AI models in the future.
5-20-2024 Second Phase 3 clinical trial again shows dupilumab lessens disease in COPD patients with type 2 inflammation
Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease patients with type 2 inflammation may soon gain access to a new drug—dupilumab—that showed rapid and sustained improvements in patients in a pivotal Phase 3 clinical trial, researchers report in the New England Journal of Medicine. This monoclonal antibody is the first biologic shown to improve clinical outcomes in COPD. The data supporting the use of dupilumab in COPD will be reviewed by the United States Food and Drug Administration in June. The disease improvements—as measured by a significantly lower annualized rate of acute exacerbations

The familiar sounds of the office fill the ears of the "Adventurer" as he steps into his home away from home. To him "Familiar sounds" means the voices of about three-quarters of the hundreds of employees who work in this building, thanks to the progressive, passive, perpetual boosts to his senses that he has simply always been accruing. He still can't quite hear everything in the office, indeed as powerful as his senses are he can only actively sense enough space around him to be firmly aware of events occurring about half of the building's length and width away from him at a time, but those are still incredibly powerful senses.
Lucas steps past several cubicles and heads to his own with a calm smile on his face. He actually enjoys his job, not because he finds the work fulfilling but because it presents him with a chance to level up his skills and work towards becoming altogether stronger in a hilariously safe environment. The figure sits in his cubicle and logs into his work computer with a bright grin on his face. As he grabs the last pieces of paper in the backlog that was a big problem when he began to work for this company he feels a pang of pride.
The workday is pleasant enough. He successfully finishes the last pile of paperwork that was considered part of the backlog and this effort is celebrated by his direct supervisor and a few of the friends he's made in his department, a group composed of several men and only a few pair of women, who have been working here for years but lacked the abilities he possesses that allow him to grind out progress at a rapid rate and allow him to improve the work he does every single day without fail. The news quickly spreads throughout the office, and various people, including other departmental supervisors and managers, come to him and congratulate him.
When the day ends Lucas is one of the first people out the door. This is commonly expected Lucas-like behavior at this point so no one bats an eye at it. The figure works and then leaves, and he seems to have an incredibly strict policy about work-life balance to the point that no one from the office has seen his apartment or even seen him outside of the office aside from on social media.
The lad walks towards a nearby mall even as he checks his phone. When the decently cautious man is sure he's not being watched he uses his inventory to swap outfits, changing into something much more casual than his work uniform so he can do his equivalent of trolling. His clothes go from being the professional outfit someone might expect to see an accountant in, to the much more casual clothes of someone who works at a Game Station the local equivalent of a Game Stop.
The minute the figure reaches the mall he relaxes and steps into it with a smile on his face as he is suddenly and powerfully aware of events going on all around him now that the sounds he's been passively hearing for the last few minutes are not muffled by layers of solid American construction. The mall is a favorite haunt of his, a place where there are enough people that even if something goes awry he can pretty easily escape in the chaos and commotion that any sort of hostile actions would necessarily cause. Still, to the figure's credit he has not been caught yet.
The thief begins his training by carefully studying the department store he's in. He can be a bit bolder now than he could weeks ago, as in the time since he began to hone this skill he's enhanced it in such a way that he can teleport objects directly into his inventory, which is a tremendous improvement even if he can't take anything bigger or heavier than a cleaver. He eventually spots a teenager with a wallet that is just visible out of the corner of his pockets. Lucas diligently uses "Observe" on him and the powerful skill is strong enough now that Lucas can use it to determine someone's affiliations. When the young adult spots that the teen belongs to a gang he decides it's worth taking his potentially ill-gotten gains.
The clever trickster points a single finger in the direction of the teen's pocket and silently casts the handy spell. A thin line of energy lances out of his extended digit and sails through the air toward the teenager. When the teen begins to move Lucas hisses in annoyance and expends a bit more magical energy to take advantage of the first skill he's gained as a result of an attribute hitting 50: arcane manipulation.
Days ago the young adventurer's passion for magic and healing resulted in two classes leveling up on the same day: mage and white mage. This resulted in his intelligence going from 49 to 52, and as a result of that he gained the ability to manipulate magical energy, so long as he can detect the magic in question and is willing to spend some magic of his own. In this world, where the figure is reasonably certain that no other magical beings exist, this means that to hone this skill the wizard needs to manipulate his own magic. Still, that hasn't stopped the young professional from tirelessly doing just that.
With a significant amount of focus the mage is able to manipulate the thin beam and twists and turns it so that it circles around the teen before snaking into his pocket and striking the young gangster's wallet. When Lucas feels the wallet enter his inventory he chuckles and makes his way out of the department store. The rest of this particular bout of training is filled with similar feats of arcane finesse and hilariously minor acts that will steal from those willing to enact violence on others in exchange for money. Lucas's clever usage of his skills coupled with his willingness to act in stunningly petty and annoying ways make him great at harassing those he designates his foes. Lucas, lacking an ability to kill those he fights thanks to a drawback affecting him, has thus far refused to actually engage those he has marked as his foes in direct battle but his desire to annoy them has led to willingly target people associated with criminal groups with some of his spatial magic.
In hours the figure is back home and he is toying with the newest toy he's received from his gacha system. A guitar sits on his lap and he fiddles with the instrument, even he listens to a video about how to tune the thing. Lucas is experimenting with something, and behind the tablet he gained some time ago is a book that contains information on tuning guitars. The tablet is in use, recording what the man is up to. An app is in use and it records the sounds the guitar chords make. The self-taught musician relies on some of his new skills for this, as he has only recently gained the "Guitar" and "Guitar Maintenance" skills, and he got them at different times so they are different levels. Nonetheless, the figure patiently records himself, occasionally stopping the recording and examining it. He is diligently using his long-term planning skills and sticking to his broad plan. At the same time the figure patiently uses magic and steadily hones the "Mage" class, using his magic skills to farm multiple sources of experience while adhering to the schedule he has informally given himself.
Eventually the next day rolls around and the figure, predictably, gets out of his apartment and goes to work. If you had explained the concept of "Jumping" to Lucas a year ago and asked him if he thought so much of it would be just working a 9-5 job he'd not have believed you and yet in the context of his experience with the unusual profession a stunning amount of time has just been him being a regular employee of a perfectly mundane business.
Time continues to pass for the would-be adventurer at a steady pace. In this mundane world a figure with legitimate supernatural abilities is a uniquely powerful presence, and this is especially true of one that is determined to keep his head down and nose clean. Lucas's determination to live a regular, relatively risk-free life does not stop him from living, but it does stop him from suffering from some sort of "Middle School Second Year Syndrome" as a result of the fact that he has gained trainable superpowers. Instead of going mad with power or gaining an unhealthy mentality Lucas has just enough knowledge of how jumping works to know that while he might be a big fish in this world he is not a big fish in other worlds like Fallout, The Elder Scrolls, or even something as aggressively hostile and oppressive as the general setting of Minecraft is.
If an objective, impartial onlooker viewing Lucas's life is given the chance to describe the sort of "Television Show" that they are watching, they'd say it could easily be considered slice-of-life. For the first few months of his time here the most exciting times are the rare moments he adds something new to his slowly expanding list of activities and the even more slowly growing list of things he can do, such as when he begins to walk the streets of the city he lives in at night and cast healing, positive, restorative magic on the sleeping homeless people he encounters. This activity ultimately earns him the peculiar title of "Unsung Saint", a title which enhances the effectiveness of his restorative or otherwise beneficial magic on those not aware of the fact that he is using magic on them.
Days of work, training, and controlled, planned forays into new pastimes, turn into weeks of steady and anticipated progress. Weeks of steady and anticipated progress turn into months of upward mobility and the healthy establishments of new baseline feats. That said, eventually progress slows and becomes more difficult for the jumper in a world as relatively safe, for supernatural beings, as this one. It doesn't take terribly long for Lucas to go from a somewhat predictable, fairly focused figure who is very specialized in a number of areas, to a somewhat more well-rounded figure with a steadily increasing repository of skills and abilities, thanks to a subtle shift in growth strategies.
Just a few days short of eleven months into his stay in this jump, the jumper is facing a new foe but is participating in an activity he's come to enjoy; sparring.
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I dodge a well-aimed right-handed punch intended for my face, though thanks to my agility I easily had enough time to dodge it, It took a long time, from my viewpoint, for it to get close to me so long enough that I only let it get this close on purpose. I'm holding back in terms of my speed and strength but my opponent, a friend I made at the gym a few weeks ago, doesn't need to know that. I have way too many supernatural advantages for it to be a fair fight if I don't hold back.
I give my opponent enough time to register that I've dodged the blow before I begin to telegraph, purposefully, my next attack. I purposefully overextend my left arm and launch a powerful, but slow, strike. The man grits his teeth and moves to intercept my strike. He is fast enough to position his arm in front of it but that is still a mistake. I guide my blow into his arm and watch as he lets out a sincere, pained, grunt. Even with me holding back I still allow DPS to work its magic, and that perk coupled with both my trained and perk-enhanced strength is enough for me to deal him a decently powerful blow.
I retract my fist with a sly smile and note that the bars that cover my field of view are all going up at different rates. The bar for "Brawler", a class that's the result of "Fighter" giving me access to a new class when it hit level 10, my currently equipped class, is going up at a healthy clip as I spar with this man, as is the bar for "Precision Strikes" and "Acting", some of my skills. Most of the things going up at a decent clip are affected by "Jack of All Trades" a perk thatreduces the time and effort it takes for me to train up new skills to around the level of my average. Most of my other bars are only slightly going up, but this is acceptable. This sort of training is vital, long term, for my very survival, and thanks to my perks is pretty easy for me to do.
Behind me I hear a familiar voice cheering; Hannah's. The lovely redhead has begun to accompany me to the gym, but this is a somewhat recent development. Before a few weeks ago we only occasionally saw each other on Saturdays at the cafe she worked at, though we have been texting buddies ever since we met. Marcus, my sparring partner, grins savagely at me as he listens to my friend and gym buddy's cheers.
"I can't let you show me up in front of your girl, Lucas. We're not close like that." Marcus tells me, though the words are insincere. Marcus is a friend of mine, one who has even tasted my food, and that's something I don't let others do as much as I once did, barring people who go to the soup kitchen when I'm one of the volunteers on duty. My cooking can now do some decent stuff so I don't want to get anyone who isn't an ally or someone I need in my pocket overly reliant on my skills. I grin at the muscular bruiser of a warrior and dart back before gesturing for him to come at me like he means it. The man lets out a hearty laugh as he begins to pursue me. He is a touch taller than me and he has muscular, wide arms that take up a lot of space.
I watch, diligently, as he swings them at me when he is in the martial sweet spot of being close enough to hit me with a fully extended fist and being far enough away for me to strike back in an effort to preempt or counter his blow. I dart forward even as he stops advancing and duck underneath the strike before I use an active skill from my "Dancer" class to infuse my agility into my strength and hit him with a blow that disorients him. He steps back, a look of pain and confusion on his face as I step forward and move close enough to hit the man with a much softer blow to the chest. I feel his solid muscles block part of the harm done to him, but the blow is still solid enough that I watch his HP lower.
He gasps in pain and staggers back, and I smile at him and sense my triumph. He's only lost a small portion of his total hit points, but for normal people, one's total stock of HP is an abstraction of their physical health. For me, my HP serves as a skillful shield that protects me at all times, and for me to fall in battle someone has to whittle away my entire bar before they take me out. In fact, right now my HP is not maxed out; earlier I took a hit from Marcus that I'm still recovering from.
I take a step forward before Marcus signals that he needs a break. I laugh, the sound filling the part of the gym we're fighting in, and stop approaching the man. Hannah walks up to the ring and offers me some of her water as I walk toward one of the corners of the small ring. I silently gesture that I'll accept it and she tosses it at me. When the object is in my hand I use subtle telekinesis to mess with my boxing glove just enough to more easily hold onto the water bottle and sip from it. The cool water tastes good, and I smile as I feel it helping me relax as I wait to continue the fight. This is the sixth time I've beaten Marcus, but I'll give the man one bit of praise: he's persistent. He likes fighting enough that he is always eager to try and fight me, and I like fighting just enough to appreciate his resistance to the idea that I can beat him. It's not always easy for me to keep on finding partners that I can spar with.
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In the days that follow this fight, the young jumper continues to spar with Marcus. He steadily trains his "Brawler" class, and takes on class skills that do things like make him a more efficient hand-to-hand fighter, even gaining skills that he suspects, and hopes that he won't need here; like the ability to launch a punch that can inflict damage at a distance.
The figure's volunteering remains a steadfast facet of his in-jump identity. The man gains popularity throughout the place that is, functionally, his hometown, as he becomes a well-known volunteer. He even makes the places he volunteers at more popular, using a steadily increasing amount of local and online popularity to advocate for the organizations he supports. This first began to occur about three months into his stay in the jump, but he really begins to leverage it at the six month mark and he quickly begins to slowly become a minor force in the community, taking advantage of his heavy charisma build to sway hearts and minds to his cause.
His days at work continue to remain fairly unchanged from how they were at the start of his time in the jump, though on very rare occasions he creates reports and the in-jump equivalent of PowerPoint presentations about the data he has compiled to his supervisor. He has also overseen a day of service for members of his department to go and volunteer at the soup kitchen where he volunteered on the day he met Hannah, allowing him a pleasant chance to practice his leadership skills. He earns his first pay raise just under a year into his stay in this setting.
Minor missteps occur along the way, such as the figure overbooking himself during one particularly hectic weekend, which annoys his friends and fellow volunteers but serves as a decently humbling experience for the overly eager adventurer and also shows his friends that he is, ultimately, human.
Lucas continues his relaxed, fairly peaceful days for more and more time. By the time he has been in the jump for a full two years his pre-jump life feels like a memory or a strange dream, though this change to his state of mind does not actually mean he cannot recall such a time only that he has fully acclimated to the realities of being a jumper. At least as much as someone who is still on their first jump can acclimate to such a thing.
A/N: I like this episodic style for the necessary time skips that a standard (or mostly standard) jumpchain story will require. Now I'm gonna say that this style won't be universal across all jumps since some jumps may be better suited to shorter timeframes. Heck some more story-intensive jumps may benefit from longer focuses on individual events and sequences of events, but we've gone past the tutorial phase for this jump and I think minor episodic looks at broad timescales is better than a thousand chapter story that only hits one year in a jump and ultimately gets dropped. That said, I know that I'm not doing this style of writing PERFECTLY, so I hope that I can use this to grow as a writer and to become better able to convey how long time skips affect the characters, relationships, and strengths of the people involved over time. Still, if nothing else this was fun.
ALSO, as an author's note that is unique to the subreddit: this story is being published on Spacebattles and the white line that cuts through parts of the story indicates a narration/viewpoint shift. On Spacebattles and several other places I write there are in-built formatting options that allow you to cut through a textbox with a horizontal line which serves as a visual marker for some significant change to some aspect of the story. The line I made was my attempt to do that here on Reddit. It's... not perfect, but hey I'm trying.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/hey_itsawonderfulday
Originally posted to AITAH
AITAH to leave my ex best friend during her pregnancy
Triggers Warnings: deadbeat dad, manipulation, emotional abuse, possible controlling behavior
Original Post: January 22, 2024
I (25F) had been with my best friend Jessica (24F) for over 5 years, we met while we were both working at McDonald’s when we were both 18, started the same day and became best friends ever since.
Even though our lives turned out quite differently, as I ended up finishing my degree and became an account, and Jess became a janitor at the university, I still loved her very very much and we maintained to be our original self as when we were 18.
All this until a year and a half ago, while she’s working at the university, she met this fella “Funnel” who’s 69 years old two years ago and starting to see him romantically. At first I wasn’t a fan of the relationship, as there’s such an age difference. But Jess moved in with him and I started to accept their “relationship” and got to know this Funnel guy….
Funnel has two daughters in their late 40’s and a son in his early 30’s, has grandkids in their late teens and early 20’s. Overall, this guy makes me so uncomfortable as he is quite creepy(?) but hey as long as Jess is happy, I’m happy.
About half a year ago, I recognize that Jess’s body changed and asked if had her period, she answered no, so we went and got some pregnancy test. Of course, it came back all positive (all three of them). She stated that she hasn’t had her period for over two months.
When we found out, I offered anything I could possibly think of, driving her as she does not have a car or license, offered her financial assistance as I make significantly more then she does and shelter as I own my house and has spare rooms, as she never paid rent in her life (she lived with her mother before she moved in with the old fella). I basically told her that whatever she needs I will be there, but first thing first we need to go see a OBGYN.
She said yes and I drove her home, two days later I asked if she want to book an appointment and when should I take some time off work to take her to these appointments. She basically told me she had her period and she doesn’t think she is pregnant. I stated ok we still need to go see a doctor and get you check since it may be a miscarriage, she then basically ghosted me.
I tried reaching out multiple times and got 0 answers or reply, her mother even reached out to me to see if I have been in contact with her as she had not been in contact with her for awhile, which is super unusual for her as we are constantly in contact. I was super worried about her well being as the old fella might be controlling and telling her that she can’t share her pregnancy with anyone, as we live in a small town.
After three weeks of trying to contacting her, I gave up and told her that if she doesn’t want my help or want me in her life anymore I will be happy to cut contact with her. No reply. So I blocked her number, her social media. Now half a year later, I found out she is very pregnant, still living with the old fella that’s probably gonna die sooner than later due to him being an alcoholic and have history of cancer, leaving her with nothing as he does not own anything and lives paycheck to paycheck.
AITAH to just leave her knowing that her and the baby will struggle?
AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA with a few YTAs
Relevant Comments
skorvia: NTA
She has what she looked for, she also stopped talking to you, she abandoned you and preferred to stay with an old man twice her age.
She stopped talking to you, why should you be the one to come back?

OOP: I guess I just want to get through her what she’s signing up for if she does not have any support, she hates her mother and has no other friends.

TwoBionicknees: Wait, you thought she might be being controlled by a man who has an entire family behind him, so you called a few times and gave up then blocked her?
Cutting off people doesn't make you teh asshole, but it sounds like you suspecting something was wrong but made nearly no effort to check on her them very carelessly threw her away.
Like not going over there with maybe her mother as well and physically seeing her, demanding to talk with her and find out if everything is okay, for me, makes YTA.

OOP: She’s 24, his family probably does not know about the pregnancy as he introduced her to them as his “roommate”. I texted and call 10x if not 20x times with no responses, even with ultimatums that if she doesn’t get back to me I will have to cut contact due to my own mental health.

OOP on suspecting the baby daddy trying to control her friend and why she decided to cut off

OOP: I guess I am prioritizing my own mental health at the time as I offered and got cut off by her, at this point I am waiting for the baby to be born and she would definitely need financial assistance. She may reach out by that time, so we could have a sit down conversation. Addition to this point, I did go to her place of work but could not locate her, did drive by his apartment no sign of her, as per her mothers last update, she lied about the whole situation to her mother.

Update: May 14, 2024 (four months later)
Original post linked here
Here’s the update.
Jess(24) had the baby, and after 10 months of no contact, she reached out.
We went for coffee, and she updated me what happened in those 10 months, and admitted she cut me off on purpose, as she is jealous of my accomplishments. The 70 year old baby daddy is now 71 and he asked not to be on the birth certificate and he’s not, he hid the baby from his family (3 adult kids in their 40s). He was not there during the delivery and didn’t even bother going to the hospital.
She got kicked out of his apartment and living with her abusive mother, where she desperately wanna move out. The reason why she reached out is due to she ran out of money due to her shopping addiction and she now needs support. She asked if she could stay at one of my rental properties for free or if she can borrow some money from me.
It was a pretty easy decision for me, as I told her straight up that I’m not a ATM machine and if she would’ve kept me as a friend 10 months ago I would’ve consider to help her. However, I am still willing to be friends and work on our friendship. She was pretty upset about it and said that since I am so well off I should help her. I told her no again and said we will revisit this conversation again if we maintain friends.
Well, since that conversation I invited her to have lunch and coffee a few times. And stop paying for things and driving her around like I did before.
She pretty much stopped communicating with me immediately.
I guess my question is AITAH to put her out on the streets?
Additional Information from OOP on her friend and the housing

OOP: In regards of this, here’s another story for y’all.
She contacted low income housing, they stated there’s a 5 year wait. Then she contacted social assistance they told her she does not qualify as her income including CBB is above threshold.
During this, I found a bunch of cheap rental property for her (around $900/mo for 2 bed 1 bath downtown area, which is unheard of), she did not even bother contacting the landlord!

Relevant Comments
dheffe01: NTA, its called child support for a reason she needs to get it

OOP: Can she get child support if he’s not on the birth certificate?

Raedriann: Of course, getting out of child support 100% free and clear is as easy as not signing the birth certificate. That's why paternity cases don't exist, and you've never heard of women finding out which boyfriend gathered their child and getting support.
Seriously, how is this a question? Yes, she made it harder for herself, but she can go to court and demand he take a paternity test. If he refuses, the court will presume he's the father and order support based on his earning capability.

OOP on if her friend had a job before she got pregnant

OOP: She had a job as a janitor, but now on EI (employment Insurance) due to maternity leave.

Guilty-Web7334: Oh, I take it you’re in Canada? At his age, he’d be receiving Canadian pension. Are there survivorship benefits with Canadian Pension plan like there is with US social security?
As an aside, though, if she’s low income with no father on record, her Child Tax Benefit will be minimum $600-700/month. So she should be somewhat okay between EI, CTB, and the Baby Bonus. Not rolling in it, but if her mother isn’t making her pay rent/utilities, she should be okay. She just has to not be an idiot.

OOP: Yes, I am in Canada.
He has pension, old age pension, Canadian pension plan AND income from working.
She has Child Benefits which is $660 per month. EI which is $800 something bi-weekly (or weekly). But she has shopping addiction, each time we go out she spends $200 on random stuff like new clothes or jewelries. No child support from baby daddy so far tho.

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I was looking at why gen alpha seems to be even worse than kids in general. At first I was concerned about the fact that they barely even have the attention span for tv shows like Big City Greens and Bluey instead being dumped in front of horrifying content farms and even addictive stuff like c—melon.
Then it went a little deeper when I saw videos of teachers talking about how their regular kids(like kids without disabilities) are struggling below grade level and this is like 6th grade students having almost no attention spans and having reading levels and learning levels far below like 3rd grade levels, and not knowing certain basics There was even a video that mentioned how even sped kids despite their disadvantage had higher reading levels than normal kids. And the normal kids seemed not to even be trying to better themselves.
Then I learned about the Sephora girls and how they are straight up menaces to other people and demand skincare that isn’t designed for their age group and can damage them(instead of getting age appropriate skincare). I learned about the horrible Sephora moms enabling this with instagrams
Then I learned about young boys(like 6-9 year olds) accessing extremely sexist streamers and a pretty notorious rapist and trafficker named “quagmire” Tate who was just arrested for sex trafficking influencing young minds to regress regarding equality and no means no etc. I then saw more teachers saying how toxic kids are becoming and they seem to have no real life goals other than being influencers. And then quitting because of such flagrant behavior.
I was confused by all of this like it seemed like the parents weren’t even trying to teach the kids basics like how letters are pronounced, how to tie shoes, not to steal the cookie, etc. this continued to be hard to understand like it didn’t make sense. Like these problems used to be a very small minority like not everyone is like this but now it seemed that not “everyones kids are bad” while still a fair amount seemed even smaller compared to to it seems like the kids who were never taught seemed to increase.
Then when I saw one video which talked about the Sephora kids she brought up a TikTok talking about why gen alpha ended up so bad and the video brought up the accessory baby trend of the 2010s that really blew up around that time. I then watched the TikTok and that’s when it clicked. The kids who were born then are the same that are gen alpha. I remembered that on YouTube and other sites was filled with teens who were excited about having a baby and belly progressions etc.
it made total sense why gen alpha is horribly underprepared because many of these kids were(and are) the accessory babies born in the 2010s that were born to a large minority of(a lot of) teenagers who wanted to showcase their cute baby as if they were a furby accessory trying to copy the celebrity (spesficially the kardashians and Kyle Jenner) accessory baby trend which resulted in the aesthetic of parenting and having a cute baby without any of the actual work needed to raise a baby to a functioning human being with good literacy skills, a reasonable education and basically becoming a functioning person.
Oh and teen mom the tv show(which despite showing some of the darker sides and contributing to a decline in teen pregnancy’s some dumb kids still took inspiration) . It’s made even worse because now TikTok and instagram reels glorifying pregnancy at young(like teenage) ages for aesthetics even if said person was not ready or willing to handle responsibly raising a future adult and showing none of the true consequences and sorrow that comes with ruining your and a future humans life, instead being filled with instagram photos of cute mommy and baby in matching outfits on highly staged photos with no hint on how difficult it is to raise a human being.
Anyway The baby was never supposed to grow up as a person and become a functioning human being but to be a silent being with no thoughts of it’s own to dress up and show off to instagram and Pinterest. Essentially a doll. However when that baby started to grow up into their own person and becoming a human being because as it turns out baby’s grow up to be a functioning adult. The parents has no desire to be a parent and does not know how to raise a functioning human so they dumped them in front of iPads in order to get them out of the way and basically negelect them. The consequence is that now we have an entire generation of kids who have not been taught basic lessons and how to be a functioning person.
It even affects the kids who weren’t accessory babies and are being raised by people who actually want to see their child succeed in life , because the peer pressure to act more mature than before has ramped up significantly as the moms of the accessory babies shunned kid appropriate outfits and acting their age and stuff because they wanted the babies to be dressed up in adult fashions for instagram photo ops and have engrained that acting like a kid is stupid and that they go from accessory Baby to hot young adult with no inbetween in their minds which warps them to act like an “adult” when way too young. It’s essentially the traditional 10 year old wants to act older but warped far beyond what it used to be and if a kid simply acts like their age group they are often picked on by accessory baby bullies which means that a lot of kids are now under peer pressure to grow up way too fast because the accessory kids that dominate the school and act like monsters towards everyone else.
It’s because they were never taught how to be a good Person. And it’s because of the parents who wanted accessory babies for instagram rather than raising a human. Like it’s the 30 year mellenials who take their kids only to instagramamble play areas, dressing them up for photo shoots every week in new clothes, going on instagramamble vacations and even having another baby only for clicks.
This is the reality of the situation we are seeing the consequences of this in real time. The kids were never taught how to be a person and because of that they have almost no manners and learned all their lessons from toxic influencers and or consumerist influencers. It’s because the parents neglect them instead of providing moral lessons on how to be a good person, teaching them right from wrong, or even providing them good tv shows like BCG, and bluey instead dumping them in front of iPad content farms that rot their attention spans without any moderation causing them to have no imagination and tech addictions and then for the boys watching toxic influencers like Andrew quagmire tate and his merry band of Herbert the perverts(it’s a family guy reference). And for the girls being brainwashed into acting like adults and buying skincare that burns their skin instead of age appropate skin care.
This is scary because they are our next doctors, artists, writers, musicians, librarians, mechanic, firefighters, plumbers, etc. and they end up with social media addicitions and have shockingly short attention spans thanks to overstimulating YouTube shorts and they were never taught how to be a successful person who thrives in society all because they were treated as disposable photo props to get more IG likes.
To be clear not every parent is like this and there are many parents trying to raise their kids good and teaching them to be a good person but it is concearning how the accessory babies are now being turned into monsters at shockingly young ages. I really hope people wake up and realize that this is a problem and how we need to educate kids and prevent toxic Tate influences on boys And toxic trends on girls. We need to let kids learn positive values and teach the, about diversity and how to be a good person and helping other people and doing good things and working hard to achieve whatever goals they want.
We need to fix this and help prepare kids to be a functioning good adults so that they can succeed. It’s a whole mess that we need to do better with our next generation of people because we need to stop treating kids like they are just instagram photos and they aren’t babies with on and off switches but babies that grow to toddler then kid tween teen until they become an adult who should be able to do basic functions in society.
I am legit concerned about the next generation and them being addicted to content farms rather than quality shows with educational and entertainment value and not being taught basic morals like don’t steal the cookie, everyone is equal, clean up after yourself, don’t rudely interrupt other people. or even helping them get to grade level reading and stuff(and I’m not counting kids with disabilities, like autistic and adhd kids) to function in society. like I literally heard that sped kids with disabilities and autism etc are literally doing higher reading levels than regular kids because a lot of the regular kids were never taught. It’s legit concerning.
*it should also be mentioned that this seems to mostly happen with really really young parents 9/10 times as most kids who were conceived by parents at older ages(30 something when they had kids) don’t seem to have this problem(or very rarely)

I, 31 female, met my best friend, 33 female, when we were 16 and 18 working in a fast food restaurant. We did not go to the same high school or college, but spent most of our free time together. For the rest of our teens and twenties, we were pretty inseparable - sleepovers, family vacations, you name it, we even did grad school together online and took all of the same classes so we could work together.
I met my husband at 18 in undergrad and he didn’t like her, but it took so long for me to understand why and now I don’t want to be around her. She’s super self absorbed and really only seems to think about herself.
The point that made me realize it was after grad school when we were both trying to get pregnant, and when I told her I was pregnant, her response was “oh, I’m not”. I had been throwing up on my way to her house so it wasn’t an elaborate announcement, but she was not excited for me at all. The rest of my pregnancy was met with the same lack of enthusiasm, until she announced she was pregnant 3 months later. After that it was all talk about matching outfits and how great of friends the kids would be.
There were so many little things that continued to happen that showed me how one sided our friendship was. I could name all her coworkers from listening to her stories, but she couldn’t remember the name of the company where I worked. If I’d mention something about my pregnancy or child, she’d try to one up whatever I said. Skipping my child’s special events with pitiful excuses, and lackluster attempts for us to spend time together but only when it was convenient for her - like having me drive an hour to meet her somewhere when she was driving past my house to get to where she wanted us to go.
We’d previously had season tickets for our favorite basketball together, and when my Mom bought tickets for us to go as a family the next season because she liked that team as well, my friend FREAKED out and told me I needed to let my Mom know that I couldn’t go to the games with her because it wasn’t fair that my friend was being left out. Her relationship with her own parents is not great, and anytime I attended a game that season with my Mom I would get snide messages about how that was “our thing” that my Mom stole from us. I let her know that I understood her point, but that we could find other things to do together since the tickets were a gift from my Mom.
After these instances, I started to back off on the effort I was putting into our friendship. What happened next was a steep decline in communication, which I realized I had mostly been initiating. At this point, it’s been about 2 years since we were physically in the same room and 10 months since we last talked about meeting up. She texted me about grabbing coffee and after I responded she didn’t text back, and I haven’t heard a word from her since.
Now out of nowhere, she’s messaging me about spending time together again which I have no desire to do. In our time apart I’ve put that effort into growing other friendships that are mutually beneficial and require less energy to maintain because I’m not the only one putting in effort.
I forgot to respond the first time she texted me a few weeks ago and she sent another message 24 hours later worried about what “truly horrific” thing she had done to make me ignore her. It’s been almost a year since we’d spoken and I forgot to text her back, her reaction seemed super over the top. I sent back a polite response letting her know that I was busy and didn’t mean to ignore her message, but that we hadn’t talked in so long and my priorities were elsewhere. Her response was very short and succinct.
Since then I’ve received several messages from mutual friends and her family members about how they haven’t seen me in so long, and another message from her about how she’d like to repair our friendship if I’m open to it. I’m not interested in that, at all, but I don’t have any ill will or desire to hurt her feelings.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to catch up with her after such a long friendship?

I, 31 female, met my best friend, 33 female, when we were 16 and 18 working in a fast food restaurant. We did not go to the same high school or college, but spent most of our free time together. For the rest of our teens and twenties, we were pretty inseparable - sleepovers, family vacations, you name it, we even did grad school together online and took all of the same classes so we could work together.
I met my husband at 18 in undergrad and he didn’t like her, but it took so long for me to understand why and now I don’t want to be around her. She’s super self absorbed and really only seems to think about herself.
The point that made me realize it was after grad school when we were both trying to get pregnant, and when I told her I was pregnant, her response was “oh, I’m not”. I had been throwing up on my way to her house so it wasn’t an elaborate announcement, but she was not excited for me at all. The rest of my pregnancy was met with the same lack of enthusiasm, until she announced she was pregnant 3 months later. After that it was all talk about matching outfits and how great of friends the kids would be.
There were so many little things that continued to happen that showed me how one sided our friendship was. I could name all her coworkers from listening to her stories, but she couldn’t remember the name of the company where I worked. If I’d mention something about my pregnancy or child, she’d try to one up whatever I said. Skipping my child’s special events with pitiful excuses, and lackluster attempts for us to spend time together but only when it was convenient for her - like having me drive an hour to meet her somewhere when she was driving past my house to get to where she wanted us to go.
We’d previously had season tickets for our favorite basketball together, and when my Mom bought tickets for us to go as a family the next season because she liked that team as well, my friend FREAKED out and told me I needed to let my Mom know that I couldn’t go to the games with her because it wasn’t fair that my friend was being left out. Her relationship with her own parents is not great, and anytime I attended a game that season with my Mom I would get snide messages about how that was “our thing” that my Mom stole from us. I let her know that I understood her point, but that we could find other things to do together since the tickets were a gift from my Mom.
After these instances, I started to back off on the effort I was putting into our friendship. What happened next was a steep decline in communication, which I realized I had mostly been initiating. At this point, it’s been about 2 years since we were physically in the same room and 10 months since we last talked about meeting up. She texted me about grabbing coffee and after I responded she didn’t text back, and I haven’t heard a word from her since.
Now out of nowhere, she’s messaging me about spending time together again which I have no desire to do. In our time apart I’ve put that effort into growing other friendships that are mutually beneficial and require less energy to maintain because I’m not the only one putting in effort.
I forgot to respond the first time she texted me a few weeks ago and she sent another message 24 hours later worried about what “truly horrific” thing she had done to make me ignore her. It’s been almost a year since we’d spoken and I forgot to text her back, her reaction seemed super over the top. I sent back a polite response letting her know that I was busy and didn’t mean to ignore her message, but that we hadn’t talked in so long and my priorities were elsewhere. Her response was very short and succinct.
Since then I’ve received several messages from mutual friends and her family members about how they haven’t seen me in so long, and another message from her about how she’d like to repair our friendship if I’m open to it. I’m not interested in that, at all, but I don’t have any ill will or desire to hurt her feelings.
Am I the asshole for not wanting to catch up with her? How do I let her know that this period in our relationship is over without acting like a dick?

I absolutely despise my SIL. Backstory, for anyone that cares: When we first met she was cool and all until my boyfriend, at the time, now husband decided to spill his guts and vent to her about some teenage drama we were having. This nearly 30 year old woman decides to speak about my “negative” qualities I have. Mind you at the time we are 18 meanwhile she’s over 10 years older than us and her life choices aren’t the best. Anywho. She proceeds to tell him, I am immature and need to grow up, that he deserves better and someone more mature that I’m a spoiled brat…. yadda yadda. I curiously went through my boyfriend’s phone and found the messages and was appalled by what she had said considering he was my first boyfriend ever and I had never done anything for her to speak down on me, in his previous relationships it was repetitive cheating and violence. So for her to speak about me in such ways, I couldn’t believe it! Let me add that we were living together already, my boyfriend and I so I was doing wife duties at girlfriend pay basically, that was on me. After that happened I kept my distance from her, she never apologized it kind of just got pushed aside and we would have small talk well then we ended up splitting for a while and when we got together out of curiosity I look through his phone as I saw he had a text from his sister including the dark skin girl emoji, asking if he’s with and then she put the emoji. I remember she in specific was and to this day is super racist about skin color even though she’s mexican she talks heavily down on those of darker complexion from her same ethnicity because she considers herself white as she has “light skin”. I felt furious and my hatred towards her grew when I continued reading their past conversations from when we split to the present. She had told him again that he deserved better and that he downgraded from his ex with me because his ex was actually white with blue eyes and me being “black” (i’m mexican 😂) was such a downgraded also body shamed me saying the ex had big full boobs while I had a “flat chest”. You can imagine what else but super down talking me. We ended up getting married few years later and having kids but I still can not stand her and won’t ever forgive her for what her grown ass said about a literal teen.
She is now getting married and I guess is only getting married to this man for papers, her words not mine and even went as far as planning her pregnancy, without him knowing she wasn’t taking her BC, so she could tie him down. Threatened him with not putting his last name on the birth certificate if he didn’t set a date for a wedding. I feel bad saying anything about the whole papers thing and about her not truly loving him and just using him because there’s his kid and her past relationship kid involved. Her other kid is special needs so I can only imagine how drastic these past 2 years have been on him and sudden change, if he’d leave her, I can’t imagine how it could affect him.

hi everybody. i just did a pregnancy test and the results were positive. initially, i wouldn't have any problems with getting pregnant at this age since i'm not a minor nor a teen. ang worried ako is i'm currently in debt. around 100,000k worth of debt that i am trying to pay. i haven't even started at the bpo company i applied to and guess what i just got accepted earlier.
i'm not married but living with my partner at my own separate big room at my mom's and we usually pay for our needs. my partner is also looking for a job right now. what worries me is that i currently have relapsed because of stress sa debt. depression has been a big strain on my life especially during the pandemic. i'm afraid to take care of a fragile baby with my messy mind. i don't know what to do honestly. i want to solve my money problems first before building a family. but i guess life happens.
sorry i cant disclose specifically why i am in debt but some of it was because of poor financial management which i later on realized and stopped after basically computing the whole debt and seeing the weight it has put on me. if anybody could advise what steps i could do, it would be a big help. i'm losing hope

I was looking at why gen alpha seems to be even worse than kids in general. At first I was concerned about the fact that they barely even have the attention span for tv shows like Big City Greens and Bluey instead being dumped in front of horrifying content farms and even addictive stuff like c—melon.
Then it went a little deeper when I saw videos of teachers talking about how their regular kids(like kids without disabilities) are struggling below grade level and this is like 6th grade students having almost no attention spans and having reading levels and learning levels far below like 3rd grade levels, and not knowing certain basics There was even a video that mentioned how even sped kids despite their disadvantage had higher reading levels than normal kids. And the normal kids seemed not to even be trying to better themselves.
Then I learned about the Sephora girls and how they are straight up menaces to other people and demand skincare that isn’t designed for their age group and can damage them(instead of getting age appropriate skincare). I learned about the horrible Sephora moms enabling this with instagrams
Then I learned about young boys(like 6-9 year olds) accessing extremely sexist streamers and a pretty notorious rapist and trafficker named “quagmire” Tate who was just arrested for sex trafficking influencing young minds to regress regarding equality and no means no etc. I then saw more teachers saying how toxic kids are becoming and they seem to have no real life goals other than being influencers. And then quitting because of such flagrant behavior.
I was confused by all of this like it seemed like the parents weren’t even trying to teach the kids basics like how letters are pronounced, how to tie shoes, not to steal the cookie, etc. this continued to be hard to understand like it didn’t make sense. Like these problems used to be a very small minority like not everyone is like this but now it seemed that not “everyones kids are bad” while still a fair amount seemed even smaller compared to to it seems like the kids who were never taught seemed to increase.
Then when I saw one video which talked about the Sephora kids she brought up a TikTok talking about why gen alpha ended up so bad and the video brought up the accessory baby trend of the 2010s that really blew up around that time. I then watched the TikTok and that’s when it clicked. The kids who were born then are the same that are gen alpha. I remembered that on YouTube and other sites was filled with teens who were excited about having a baby and belly progressions etc.
it made total sense why gen alpha is horribly underprepared because many of these kids were(and are) the accessory babies born in the 2010s that were born to a large minority of(a lot of) teenagers who wanted to showcase their cute baby as if they were a furby accessory trying to copy the celebrity (spesficially the kardashians and Kyle Jenner) accessory baby trend which resulted in the aesthetic of parenting and having a cute baby without any of the actual work needed to raise a baby to a functioning human being with good literacy skills, a reasonable education and basically becoming a functioning person.
Oh and teen mom the tv show(which despite showing some of the darker sides and contributing to a decline in teen pregnancy’s some dumb kids still took inspiration) . It’s made even worse because now TikTok and instagram reels glorifying pregnancy at young(like teenage) ages for aesthetics even if said person was not ready or willing to handle responsibly raising a future adult and showing none of the true consequences and sorrow that comes with ruining your and a future humans life, instead being filled with instagram photos of cute mommy and baby in matching outfits on highly staged photos with no hint on how difficult it is to raise a human being.
Anyway The baby was never supposed to grow up as a person and become a functioning human being but to be a silent being with no thoughts of it’s own to dress up and show off to instagram and Pinterest. Essentially a doll. However when that baby started to grow up into their own person and becoming a human being because as it turns out baby’s grow up to be a functioning adult. The parents has no desire to be a parent and does not know how to raise a functioning human so they dumped them in front of iPads in order to get them out of the way and basically negelect them. The consequence is that now we have an entire generation of kids who have not been taught basic lessons and how to be a functioning person.
It even affects the kids who weren’t accessory babies and are being raised by people who actually want to see their child succeed in life , because the peer pressure to act more mature than before has ramped up significantly as the moms of the accessory babies shunned kid appropriate outfits and acting their age and stuff because they wanted the babies to be dressed up in adult fashions for instagram photo ops and have engrained that acting like a kid is stupid and that they go from accessory Baby to hot young adult with no inbetween in their minds which warps them to act like an “adult” when way too young. It’s essentially the traditional 10 year old wants to act older but warped far beyond what it used to be and if a kid simply acts like their age group they are often picked on by accessory baby bullies which means that a lot of kids are now under peer pressure to grow up way too fast because the accessory kids that dominate the school and act like monsters towards everyone else.
It’s because they were never taught how to be a good Person. And it’s because of the parents who wanted accessory babies for instagram rather than raising a human. Like it’s the 30 year mellenials who take their kids only to instagramamble play areas, dressing them up for photo shoots every week in new clothes, going on instagramamble vacations and even having another baby only for clicks.
This is the reality of the situation we are seeing the consequences of this in real time. The kids were never taught how to be a person and because of that they have almost no manners and learned all their lessons from toxic influencers and or consumerist influencers. It’s because the parents neglect them instead of providing moral lessons on how to be a good person, teaching them right from wrong, or even providing them good tv shows like BCG, and bluey instead dumping them in front of iPad content farms that rot their attention spans without any moderation causing them to have no imagination and tech addictions and then for the boys watching toxic influencers like Andrew quagmire tate and his merry band of Herbert the perverts(it’s a family guy reference). And for the girls being brainwashed into acting like adults and buying skincare that burns their skin instead of age appropate skin care.
This is scary because they are our next doctors, artists, writers, musicians, librarians, mechanic, firefighters, plumbers, etc. and they end up with social media addicitions and have shockingly short attention spans thanks to overstimulating YouTube shorts and they were never taught how to be a successful person who thrives in society all because they were treated as disposable photo props to get more IG likes.
To be clear not every parent is like this and there are many parents trying to raise their kids good and teaching them to be a good person but it is concearning how the accessory babies are now being turned into monsters at shockingly young ages. I really hope people wake up and realize that this is a problem and how we need to educate kids and prevent toxic Tate influences on boys And toxic trends on girls. We need to let kids learn positive values and teach the, about diversity and how to be a good person and helping other people and doing good things and working hard to achieve whatever goals they want.
We need to fix this and help prepare kids to be a functioning good adults so that they can succeed. It’s a whole mess that we need to do better with our next generation of people because we need to stop treating kids like they are just instagram photos and they aren’t babies with on and off switches but babies that grow to toddler then kid tween teen until they become an adult who should be able to do basic functions in society.
I am legit concerned about the next generation and them being addicted to content farms rather than quality shows with educational and entertainment value and not being taught basic morals like don’t steal the cookie, everyone is equal, clean up after yourself, don’t rudely interrupt other people. or even helping them get to grade level reading and stuff(and I’m not counting kids with disabilities, like autistic and adhd kids) to function in society. like I literally heard that sped kids with disabilities and autism etc are literally doing higher reading levels than regular kids because a lot of the regular kids were never taught. It’s legit concerning.
*it should also be mentioned that this seems to mostly happen with really really young parents 9/10 times as most kids who were conceived by parents at older ages(30 something when they had kids) don’t seem to have this problem(or very rarely)

Only discussing now because I’m starting to face the repercussions. When I was a teenager, I had acne. I was never bothered by it, but nmom was, and she would take me to the dermatologist whenever she got a chance and ask them to prescribe me a treatment for acne. The dermatologist always told nmom that the acne was mild and didn’t need treatment, but would prescribe a cream or wash anyways to help.
When I turned 21, I was of age to start Accutane, which is an acne treatment to permanently get rid of acne. The dermatologist told my mom this is a harsh treatment for severe, incurable cases of acne and that I didn’t need it. By this point I was already almost rid of acne, but nmom insisted to both I and the dermatologist that I start treatment anyways. At this point in my life, I just agreed with whatever nmom wanted because I knew arguing back would only cause an explosive fight, so I started the treatment. In order to take Accutane, females have to be on birth control due to the severe birth defects it can cause during pregnancy. Nmom was eager to jump on this, right away scheduling me an appointment with the gynecologist to get me on birth control. What I was prescribed made me sick, I couldn’t take it any longer than three days at a time. So began the process of nmom calling an array of gynecologists and setting up appointments to get me on a birth control that wouldn’t get me sick.
For whatever reason, I didn’t respond well to any of the birth control I was prescribed, and after about three months of trying different birth control, I just started lying to nmom and said I was taking it, but in reality, flushing the pills down the toilet. Fast forward about a year later, I started dealing with extremely short, but debilitating, periods. After research I discovered this issue is connected to certain types of birth control hormones, and I will be seeing a doctor soon to further discuss.
I still can’t help but get angry at the fact that none of this would be happening if nmom had just left me alone as a teen. I was never bothered by having acne, only she was, to the point where she had me on different birth controls that messed up my cycle pretty badly. I didnt want it, I didn’t need it, and it caused nothing but problems for me now. If I dared complain about her obsession with my acne, it was “I’m just trying to help, don’t you ever feel embarassed by your skin? People aren’t going to want to talk to somebody with skin like yours, no boys will want to ever kiss you,” etc.
I’m also angry at the fact that I didn’t speak up at the time and put up a fight against what she wanted, even if it would’ve meant a huge battle. My skin and my health is my issue to deal with, not nmom or anybody elses.

TW mention of childhood trauma, fertility; ab*rtion and miscarriage Cross posted to hopefully get some feedback
I (26, F) live with my partner (28 M) of two and a half years and our Irish twins (19 months and 5 months old) we have a long and complicated history to say the least. (10+ years) A timeline for some context would be that we met young, freshman and juniors in high school; we went to different schools, made up, broke up a few times and always kept a very tight friendship in between young spouts of infidelity and overall teen bs. In my youth I experienced many pregnancy complications, which led to some emotional trauma for me. (More context here; one miscarriage was my partner’s when we were young and I didn’t tell him— it wasn’t right, but a confusing time for me) Through everything we always came back to each other. I lived a rougher life with minimal support, while his parents fawned over him constantly, and always had a higher quality of life. (Not yucky rich people, people who worked hard and wanted their child to enjoy the benefits). His parents loved me and I kept him far away from my family’s mess. That is, until I got pregnant.
My partner and I, let’s call him Drew, were not together at the time I conceived our first child. I told him the truth- he wasn’t my only current partner and that I respected him enough to tell him outright immediately; I told him that I love him, and I would chose him, and would consider and ab*rtion even though it would destroy me. I would do it, to earn trust back, and solidify us together again, as I’ve always wanted. He said he could never let me do that, but the fact that I put that out on the table showed how much I valued him in this time. We slowly worked on us, and welcomed our first healthy baby together! It was so beautiful! He meant my family, I slowly realized again why I kept them away, but I put my best foot fwd to build a strong “family” foundation.
I felt myself treading on eggshells emotionally because I knew he was taking on a lot- id moved in with him and his parents for us to save money and get secure, he worked full time, and prepared fully for a baby he wasn’t sure would be his. (Context: we only found out our first child was his recently through paternity, we did not test @ the hospital as the child arrived premature and emotionally we clung together tho feelings may have been unresolved— Drew secretly got a test recently) I’m sure there was plenty he has not said to me as he worked through his emotions and fell so madly in love with our child so quickly, that everything went to the side. ALTHOUGH we were going out once a week, and were the happiest at this point in my opinion. I had no postpartum issues and things were moving in a positive direction!
We begin to find normal life again when BOOM! Baby #2– this time— Drew was thrilled! Bouncing around ecstatic! This pregnancy was ALSO very healthy! Very good! Both made me very sick, but I managed better than many women who get it far far worse than I did. This is where some conflict arrises. At this point with baby number 2, I want to move out. Asap. Obviously he’s breadwinner but long story short, we move out. We’ve now been here 6 months and things have gotten bad as of recent. My family lives very close by, which has caused some conflict. I start to see “expectations” being let down. With ourfirst child I was SO SAD that he didn’t get me flowers, so I’d assumed (stupid I know) that he would get some for me, and it wouldn’t happen, for example.
I feel like I’ve gotten no postpartum care after our second child. He was “exhausted” in the hospital when I was recovering and not paying much attention to me. When we got home, no real physical affection that didn’t feel sexually driven. I can’t explain it? Like he just didn’t care about me anymore? I tried explaining and felt low key bullied out of everything I was feeling, “that’s not what I meant, I’m sorry” I’d believe it, we move on. At a point it began feeling too disrespectful. Mind you, now I’m only a few weeks PP, still bl*eding from birth and really needing to feel loved, but in a different way? More emotional. I’ve only had my last child 14 months prior before his one was born, my body and brain are traumatized to say the least- at this point. Things escalate.
We get into heated arguments that I begin SCREAMING. He gets disrespectful and dismissive which sends me spiraling, and we go back and forth for a few weeks. I will explain, in detail, what I need, and still won’t get it. Or may receive a snarky remark on why I didn’t get treated the way I asked- after a while of this repeating- I finally snap. I put my hands on him. I disgusted myself. I shook in anger and he laughed in a way I’ve never seen. It terrifies me. It’s happened one other time now, which was worse than the first. This ends up happening as a result of him trying to retreat to sleep, where I feel dismissed, and frankly just gross that he leaves me in tears to sleep, that u stomp into the room and continue the argument. He will say things like “I just can’t do this I am too tired” and “I don’t care I’m too tired to care” and I continue to spiral. I emotionally abuse him when I go in and just cannot let it go, but I cannot sleep from the anxiety of an unresolved issue (especially ones where he is very mean and stomps off to sleep, something in my brain is so abandoned in that moment I almost demand him to love me like he claims he does) it is like my fight or flight like I need him to help me calm down because I love him and want to feel safe with him.
More context; this man has NEVER been mean to me. I believe this is a result of him not being watered/appreciated out loud by me, but always needing to “provide something” for me. The issue is the things he does (a lot) don’t need to be done. But the few small things I NEED done are never ever done (example, a clean bottle for the 6am feed before bed to help me a little) instead I wake up to a sink full of bottles and starving baby. Etc. so because I am SO LOW I feel unable to provide that nurture for him. When I beg for that nurture he claims to not have it for me. He doesn’t listen to me, constantly does things I ask him not to, etc. I love him so much. I just feel so hated. I feel like he has never been sorry for things in our past, nor is he sorry about how I feel now, he just wants me to shut up (he doesn’t say that, he doesn’t even yell). More context I do work FT as well as care for our children alongside him. I over extend myself to many friends and am very extroverted so he doesn’t mind me going out a few days a week for an hour or two to relax. In many ways I am SO lucky to have him!!! In others, his words and actions feel so spiteful and resentful. I feel so overwhelmed and like I am giving my all, but have no safe place to fal. I also believe I provide him that same feeling.
Tonight, I drug him out of bed again, I needed him so badly. He was too tired. He ended it with “maybe this is just who you are. Maybe I just don’t love you” then fell asleep. A few minutes later, I woke him quietly after I cried, moved him to th bed where he said “I love you”. And it just hurts.
I feel like I single handedly destroyed my best friend and the love of my life from postpartum anxiety. Please help me get better (I know I need therapy badly I am looking into it immediately) I am so lost. Please help me

I'm not sure if this is the right sub for this but my Girlfriend (17f) and I (16m) are going to be teen parents. I'm lost and looking for advice on how to be as good of a father as I can be. The pregnancy wasn't planned and we just found out.
small update: I've talked to my parents and they said they'll help us as much as they can. But, she hasn't told her mom yet because her mom is bipolar and verbally abusive.
Big update: Both of our parents know now and are going to be supportive. Also, I talked to my school counselor and I'm set to graduate next year (junior year) and She can graduate mid-term her senior year. I'm terrified but hopeful for the future. Thank you for the support most of you have given.

I am (f) who has now trust issues with (m) 33 Richard for taking advantage of my forgiveness, I had a perfect family nothing happened everything was normal until I noticed my dad wasn’t home usually every night until I asked my mom why my father hasn’t been home at night, she was about to cry trying to tell me that they divorced but didn’t tell me, that night she told me I was balling my eyes out because I know the family wouldn’t be the same without him. After a few weeks, my mom began telling me more information about why they divorced and I started to hate my dad and texted him how I felt about him cheating on my mom again for the 3rd time. But he used that help to pay for the car and apartment I used to live in for us but didn’t bring up anything about my feelings or my siblings, I stopped talking to my dad for a while till I forgave him because my therapist told me just give him one chance, so I did and another few weeks go by I wanted to get my piercing and wanted my dad to take me to go get it to have a bonding and he said sure he will take me when he gets paid, so the day he gets paid I ask if he’s gonna take me to get my piercing now and he said “I have no more money” and I was just okay with it and said when he gets paid again and he agreed, so the next day I asked he says the same thing and I got upset and sad and told my mom about it, she said when she gets the money since we were struggling financially but I was a young teen at the time and couldn’t get a job so I agreed and waited happily. Out of nowhere, my mom took me to a Tattoo shop that can also piece and we went inside together I was happily picking where the piercing I want but as days go by I finally decided to go and spend time with my dad and his girlfriend, they were nice in all but the girlfriend didn’t have a job and have 7 kids from getting them from her narcissistic boyfriend, as my dad told me to be nice he also grabbed my head poking my piercing trying to show it to his girlfriend and I was in pain but didn’t wanna be mean so I just kept my mouth shut until my dad was cooking food and I notice mushrooms on the burger and I told him about it and he said they like mushrooms and I told him to be careful because he can die from them. Once I got my food I tried to talk to the kids but got awkward and walked outside to talk to my dad again till we had to go home but his girlfriend was all over him and I got uncomfortable. I don’t like seeing another girl all over my dad because I hate to see my dad liking it while he leaves his other family depressed. After another few months passed I got into high school it was so stressful since my mental health wasn’t okay and haven’t gotten good grades until the middle of the school year. When I got home I was helping my cousin wash her clothes at my house since they don’t have any washers and dryers these three teens 1 male and 2 female were walking as I was going in the house I got a call from my cousin me 3 minutes later about fighting because they called my cousin “hoe” “cheap girl” for not wearing shoes and I brought my sister to her as I run where they live and arguing and yelling about what happened and I got in the car with my cousin since my mom got home at that time, I found the guys and girl insta I gave them a warning about talking about my cousin and the mom comes running to my dad cursing at him about the text and he got mad at me for it but also again my mom heard and backed me up and asked for my phone so I give it to my mom and read it and my mom told my dad “you're the reason your gf family moved here” he was mad and stormed off and kept reading it and I was talking to her but my dad sister was listening and laughing at my dad but had our back. They wouldn’t stop being mean to my cousin until I brought up to them again about jumping them to scare them off so the mom wants to get the police involved and the police don’t help them not even a few weeks later he gets his gf pregnant and I was furious talking shit about my dad to my ex-girlfriend and crying my eyes out again because he betrayed us. I texted him how I felt again and he brought up that he paid for my mom's car I got mad and blocked him but unblocked him since my mom told me to call him about something. Now everything is getting The baby gave birth a few months early because the sack thing in her wasn’t breathing I don’t know about pregnancy so now my dad has been making excuses that he’s at the hospital with his gf and the baby lying he was about to pick us up and my brother from his hour-long game and I texted him again saying “You can’t even show up to pick us up being by a deadbeat side the whole time, All this wouldn’t happen if you didn’t cheat again and get another girl pregnant you wouldn’t have to be bitching about child support for us” I blocked him and started crying because I don’t know what to do anymore all I wanted to do is cry but it wouldn’t help but make it worse then he trys to force his newborn to meet me and my siblings rubbing it in our face about his kids when he picks us up, so AITAH for trying to cut contact?

I know we all have many wishes, hopes, and dreams for what is to come for the remainder of YJ. What is something that you DO NOT want to see happen by any means whatsoever? I have seen lots of talk about there possibly being a second wilderness baby, that either Lottie or Nat will become pregnant by Travis and a second child will be born before rescue. I absolutely 10000% do not want to see anything like that, one pregnancy was more than enough in my opinion. I also don’t want a ton of more time jumps in the teen timeline, I’m salty that it appears as if there is another time jump at the beginning of season 3 and we may not see the aftermath of the cabin fire. What is one thing you do not want to see happen on the show by any means? Thoughts?

TW mention of childhood trauma, fertility; ab*rtion and miscarriage
I (26, F) live with my partner (28 M) of two and a half years and our Irish twins (19 months and 5 months old) we have a long and complicated history to say the least. (10+ years) A timeline for some context would be that we met young, freshman and juniors in high school; we went to different schools, made up, broke up a few times and always kept a very tight friendship in between young spouts of infidelity and overall teen bs. In my youth I experienced many pregnancy complications, which led to some emotional trauma for me. (More context here; one miscarriage was my partner’s when we were young and I didn’t tell him— it wasn’t right, but a confusing time for me) Through everything we always came back to each other. I lived a rougher life with minimal support, while his parents fawned over him constantly, and always had a higher quality of life. (Not yucky rich people, people who worked hard and wanted their child to enjoy the benefits). His parents loved me and I kept him far away from my family’s mess. That is, until I got pregnant.
My partner and I, let’s call him Drew, were not together at the time I conceived our first child. I told him the truth- he wasn’t my only current partner and that I respected him enough to tell him outright immediately; I told him that I love him, and I would chose him, and would consider and ab*rtion even though it would destroy me. I would do it, to earn trust back, and solidify us together again, as I’ve always wanted. He said he could never let me do that, but the fact that I put that out on the table showed how much I valued him in this time. We slowly worked on us, and welcomed our first healthy baby together! It was so beautiful! He meant my family, I slowly realized again why I kept them away, but I put my best foot fwd to build a strong “family” foundation.
I felt myself treading on eggshells emotionally because I knew he was taking on a lot- id moved in with him and his parents for us to save money and get secure, he worked full time, and prepared fully for a baby he wasn’t sure would be his. (Context: we only found out our first child was his recently through paternity, we did not test @ the hospital as the child arrived premature and emotionally we clung together tho feelings may have been unresolved— Drew secretly got a test recently) I’m sure there was plenty he has not said to me as he worked through his emotions and fell so madly in love with our child so quickly, that everything went to the side. ALTHOUGH we were going out once a week, and were the happiest at this point in my opinion. I had no postpartum issues and things were moving in a positive direction!
We begin to find normal life again when BOOM! Baby #2– this time— Drew was thrilled! Bouncing around ecstatic! This pregnancy was ALSO very healthy! Very good! Both made me very sick, but I managed better than many women who get it far far worse than I did. This is where some conflict arrises. At this point with baby number 2, I want to move out. Asap. Obviously he’s breadwinner but long story short, we move out. We’ve now been here 6 months and things have gotten bad as of recent. My family lives very close by, which has caused some conflict. I start to see “expectations” being let down. With ourfirst child I was SO SAD that he didn’t get me flowers, so I’d assumed (stupid I know) that he would get some for me, and it wouldn’t happen, for example.
I feel like I’ve gotten no postpartum care after our second child. He was “exhausted” in the hospital when I was recovering and not paying much attention to me. When we got home, no real physical affection that didn’t feel sexually driven. I can’t explain it? Like he just didn’t care about me anymore? I tried explaining and felt low key bullied out of everything I was feeling, “that’s not what I meant, I’m sorry” I’d believe it, we move on. At a point it began feeling too disrespectful. Mind you, now I’m only a few weeks PP, still bl*eding from birth and really needing to feel loved, but in a different way? More emotional. I’ve only had my last child 14 months prior before his one was born, my body and brain are traumatized to say the least- at this point. Things escalate.
We get into heated arguments that I begin SCREAMING. He gets disrespectful and dismissive which sends me spiraling, and we go back and forth for a few weeks. I will explain, in detail, what I need, and still won’t get it. Or may receive a snarky remark on why I didn’t get treated the way I asked- after a while of this repeating- I finally snap. I put my hands on him. I disgusted myself. I shook in anger and he laughed in a way I’ve never seen. It terrifies me. It’s happened one other time now, which was worse than the first. This ends up happening as a result of him trying to retreat to sleep, where I feel dismissed, and frankly just gross that he leaves me in tears to sleep, that u stomp into the room and continue the argument. He will say things like “I just can’t do this I am too tired” and “I don’t care I’m too tired to care” and I continue to spiral. I emotionally abuse him when I go in and just cannot let it go, but I cannot sleep from the anxiety of an unresolved issue (especially ones where he is very mean and stomps off to sleep, something in my brain is so abandoned in that moment I almost demand him to love me like he claims he does) it is like my fight or flight like I need him to help me calm down because I love him and want to feel safe with him.
More context; this man has NEVER been mean to me. I believe this is a result of him not being watered/appreciated out loud by me, but always needing to “provide something” for me. The issue is the things he does (a lot) don’t need to be done. But the few small things I NEED done are never ever done (example, a clean bottle for the 6am feed before bed to help me a little) instead I wake up to a sink full of bottles and starving baby. Etc. so because I am SO LOW I feel unable to provide that nurture for him. When I beg for that nurture he claims to not have it for me. He doesn’t listen to me, constantly does things I ask him not to, etc. I love him so much. I just feel so hated. I feel like he has never been sorry for things in our past, nor is he sorry about how I feel now, he just wants me to shut up (he doesn’t say that, he doesn’t even yell). More context I do work FT as well as care for our children alongside him. I over extend myself to many friends and am very extroverted so he doesn’t mind me going out a few days a week for an hour or two to relax. In many ways I am SO lucky to have him!!! In others, his words and actions feel so spiteful and resentful. I feel so overwhelmed and like I am giving my all, but have no safe place to fal. I also believe I provide him that same feeling.
Tonight, I drug him out of bed again, I needed him so badly. He was too tired. He ended it with “maybe this is just who you are. Maybe I just don’t love you” then fell asleep. A few minutes later, I woke him quietly after I cried, moved him to th bed where he said “I love you”. And it just hurts.
I feel like I single handedly destroyed my best friend and the love of my life from postpartum anxiety. Please help me get better (I know I need therapy badly I am looking into it immediately) I am so lost. Please help me.

I'm looking for reassurance that it's possible to come back from my life feeling completely unraveled in a matter of days.
I'll preface this with an apology if it seems like my problems are minor compared to anyone else's grief.
I've been happily married. We have 3 kids. My partner is reliable, kind, and shares the workload with the kids and around the house. He is patient and calm- a dad and husband admired by myself and all who know him.
Things started to unravel with a text. It was a chat with a colleague who I didn't know. I accidentally stumbled upon it last week when sending myself photos from his phone after a kids' event. I just selected "share" to whatsapp to send myself the pictures I took of the kids... and the first contact suggestion that popped up was a girl I didn't recognize. He isnt possessive of his phone, and he wasn't hiding the text, but I opened it to find friendly and frequent chatter. He usually tells me about his work friends. I didnt intentionally snoop, but I brought up what I had seen... he agreed upon the tone of the text being unnecessarily playful/flirty. I drew a boundary for that kind of chatter.. particularly with a female I don't know and therefore dont feel secure in the relationship.
(He had one instance of a similar chatty text 7 years ago with an acquaintance he had met volunteering, and who was flirty and friendly to him, which led to the first and only fallout of our trust... and so I was reacting based upon an old wound I didn't anticipate reopening 7 years later)
As I pushed this conversation further I asked him, before moving on with our days, if there was anything else he was hiding. I gave him the chance to speak: was it just bad judgment in a text, or is there more to be worried about ?
And then he started explaining in choked up words that he has a porn compulsion that has lasted since he was a teen. (He had previously admitted to watching porn occasionally...specifically during lulls after my pregnancies) but this time he explained the bigger picture. In university he thought it'd help him last longer with partners. He has tried to stop...often using life milestones as a fresh start...a reason to try to quit but never successful.
He exhibits an incredible amount of shame and guilt. I've asked him about whether the shame is connected to kinks or spending money and he says no (no accounts, no money spent, no kinks or anything of that concern). He explains that he doesn't like the habit, and it bothers him that he should be "strong enough" to stop.
He has now reached out to a therapist.
Despite the upset of it all, we have had some open conversations that obviously are needed. But I can see the fear in his eyes of envisioning our family falling apart.
Do others here see their partners feel this shame ? He's not acting entitled or giving excuses when explaining himself. His habit hasn't affected his work or ability to be an involved father ... which i think is a good thing...but I know shame is deeply rooted so I asked if he was ever caught or if anything contributed to feeling so badly about the habit ? Is that just the reality of something once secret coming out ?
Because I am spiraling. This man who has felt like such a trophy of a partner and dad has hidden something big from me... not just the porn but the shame he has felt. And my once-small trust issue has cracked wide open into a constant fear of trying to understand every detail of the circumstances.
it's such a private topic that I don't know who to talk to about this. I'm worried to confide in anyone. I look at my children and feel so much concern about thinking about the road ahead of us and how they'll be affected along the way. He is their hero, their rock. And he's always been mine, too.

So, I knew the extended family was kinda messed up as kid because children were “ignored”-in reality, they weren’t ignored they were dangerously neglected.
I was deeply concerned about young cousins and was constantly rescuing them from near misses and a few smotherings from older siblings-yes, that is not an euphemism.
Some of those incidents involved fireworks being given to people who were way too young for them and I am not talking sparklers, though unsupervised sparkler use happened too.
(And you better not tell that adult not to give the two year old a sparkler before they leave to go have a beer with the adults-who the **** do you think you are, telling an adult what to do?)
While I was watching the kids I had a weird uncle who would follow me around “negging” me before that became a thing. Just saying random horrible things to me- I knew that he followed me around because he had been kicked out of the group of siblings by his Sisters for misbehaving.
(He’d say that I wasn’t a real part of the family because I was lucky and the family was cursed. That I was too “well-mannered” cause that is a bad thing and needed to be introduced to the Real World. That I thought I was smarter than everyone else and needed to be put in my place. That I needed to be brought down a peg or three-who the flip says that to a teen?)
I was never allowed to “graduate” from the kid table to the adult table-the family simply stopped having a kid table. Which happened after I stopped showing up, for several years, because I wasn’t taking off work to travel 10 hours to go babysit someone else’s kids or do manual labor at someone else’s house.
I believe that the kid’s table vanished when I stopped regularly attending because it was just 3rdthrow’s babysitting table.
I’m a social introvert and would burn out on the kids. If I went into a room to go sleep it off-I would be made fun of by my family for being anti-social, and treated as though I was an alien.
I rarely got to sleep alone but for the most part didn’t mind the kids curling up in bed with me.
The kids often stayed glued to me because I paid attention to them.
It broke my heart when they would trip over their words talking to me because they were talking so fast, their mouths couldn’t keep up. They did that because their parents wouldn’t listen to them and they were hungry for an “adult” (teen) to hear what they had to say.
Several of them told me that their parents had told them to “shut up” “children should be seen and not heard” “No one likes someone who talks all the time” that last one has me rolling my eyes-the adult who said it had never kept their opinion to themself in their entire lives-it has cost them almost every relationship.
Eventually, we all grew up and most of my cousins sort of disappeared from the family gathers never to be seen again.
The last family gather I went to, I talked about a new invention (that I can’t talk about online) and was dismissed, the conversation changed to someone else’s previously announced pregnancy.
I decided that outside of someone dying, I was no longer going to any family gatherings.
I just had a moment of clarity looking back and wanted your support and any thoughts that you had.

I (15) want my boyfriend (14) to be in his babys life but his mom (31) wont allow it.
I got pregnant about 6 months ago and i was terrified to tell my parents and so was my boyfriend. Well about 3 weeks ago i had an anexity attack and broke down in my moms arms and finally told her. My mom didnt react how i thought she would, i thought my mom would be angry or throw me out of the house but she was supportive and promised to help me through it all. My boyfriend knew from the second i took a pregnancy test and he seemed ok with it he would hold my stomach and kiss my stomach and hold me and talk to the baby every time we saw each other he would seem so happy and even told his friends he was happy but he always said he dreaded telling his mother or step-dad. Well obviously his mother had to know i am pregnant and i didnt think things would go that bad because his mother was a teen mom and had my boyfriend when she was 16 so i thought she wouldn't react that bad and at first she didnt but her husband did. The second my boyfriend told his mother she immediately went to tell her husband and her husband my boyfriends step dad grabbed him by the skin on his back leaving a rather large mark on his back and screamed at him and his stepdad has always been abusive and his mom does nothing about it other than telk him to "be nicer to the boy" but she never truly does anything about it and my boyfriend ran and hid on the stairs to his attic terrified and then all of a sudden he stoped calling and texting me for a couple days and when i got back to school he would not talk to me or look at me at all which i found odd but i let it go. Well his mother contacted mine after school saying she wanted to talk with me and my mother in person it was supposed to be me my mom and her but she had brought someone else i nor my mom knew nor were we informed who the person was but idrc about that his mother told me if i did not put my baby up for adoption my boyfriend would sign his parental rights away which pissed my mother off badly but where i live a mother nor father can sign away parental rights without someone to adopt the baby as a step parent which i am 15 so i am unwed but me and my mom went home that day and i started to get concerned about my boyfruends safety in the home because when his step dad gets mad he just hits him with no issue so my mom called cps and now my boyfriends mother took his phone away and is saying he needs time to process the baby so i cannot text him until he is ready (which i do not believe it one bit she is a pathological lier and a manipulator) he had no isses contacting me before he told his mom he had no issues and no problems talking to me until she was informed. She will not let me be around him which i do love him and it hurts to not know whats going on with him or if hes safe. But i honestly do not know if he even wants to be with me anymore because i think it was all a fantasy something he didnt think could actually happen before we told his mom abd now its real and hes gonna have a baby and hes scared i do know that but i do not know anymore i do not think he wants to be with me anymore ive been informed by all of his friends and even sent photos of him cheating on me his mom says hes not but i do not believe her and the only place i can talk to him at is the school so i asked him about it at school and he says "its not what it looks like were just friends" and i do not know what to believe anymore His mother though keeps blaming everything on me saying im pressuring him into being a dad (he did this to not just me) and that im ruining his life and making him grow up to quick (i have to give birth and i have to grow up to) she thinks her son is still a baby boy who can do no wrong and he doesnt have to do this and he gets away Scott free and im being a bitch and forcing him to do things he doesnt want to. Am i the asshole for just wanting him to be in his babys life?

As soon as I saw the pack I was inspired to write a generations challenge around it. I have recently finished writing and wanted to share it with you! Hope you enjoy playing it. Sorry for the long post though lol.
Here is the rules of the Crystal Generations Challange:
The first gen is responsible for all the crafting of the jewelry and each heir must wear their respective crystals as jewelry that the founder has crafted. Plumbite has to be carved into a gemstone and every generation can use it. Each heir's color palette is the colors of their crystals.
The First Gen
You, a gifted spellcaster with an ancient bloodline, rebel against the expectations of your ancestors. Despite achieving Virtuoso rank in spellcasting, your perfectionist nature and creative spirit drive you to pursue crystal crafting, defying tradition. Your journey symbolizes a quest for individuality despite familial pressure, as you craft jewelry imbued with your unique magic. Through your defiance, you find liberation and leave a long-lasting legacy, inspiring future generations to embrace their own paths and cherish the bonds of family.
Crystals: Moonstone, Alabaster, Shinolite
Traits: Perfectionist, Family Oriented, Creative
Aspiration: Crystal Crafter
Rules;

Work on Spellcraft and Sorcery aspiration as a teen.
Start your own life on an empty lot with zero simoleons as soon as you finish the aspiration.
Master Gemology skill.
Complete Crystals and Metals collections.
Create master quality jewelry using all the crystals exept Plumbite.
Create a gemstone using Plumbite.
Have triplets only.

The Second Gen
You, a talented actress driven by jealousy, ambition, and snobbery, navigate the ruthless world of Hollywood. Determined to achieve wealth and fame, your competitive nature leads you to pursue success, regardless of the cost. As your star rises, you find yourself entangled in scandals and rivalries, questioning the sacrifices demanded by your ambition. Will your jealous nature consume you, or will you emerge victorious, shining brightly among the stars you envy?
Crystals: Jade, Jonquilyst, Crandestine
Traits: Jealous, Ambitious, Snob
Aspiration: Fabulously Wealthy
Career: ActoActress
Rules;

Master mixology and acting skills.
Be enemies with at least 5 celebrities.
Get divorced and then remarry with the same sim.

The Third Gen
You are a unique sim that yearns to achieve inner peace. As a paranormal investigator, you navigate through supernatural mysteries, guided by your genius intellect. Despite your occasional mishaps, your determination to find harmony remains steady. Along your journey, you encounter challenges that test your resolve, yet you approach them with compassion and a calm demeanor. Through meditation, spiritual teachings, and the support of a close-knit family, you discover that true peace lies not in the absence of chaos, but in the serenity of one's own heart.
Crystals: Amethyst, Citrine, Alexandrite
Traits: Genius, Clumsy, Vegetarian
Aspiration: Inner Peace
Career: Paranormal Investigator
Rules;

Master Medium and Wellness skills.
Must live in a Haunted House for the entire young adult life.
Have a good relationship with your children.
Have family bowling night every Sunday.

The Fourth Gen
You are a style influencer that navigates the complexities of love and fashion. Despite your glamorous look, you have a deep sense of melancholy, and you struggle to connect with others on a deeper level. Your love life is packed with challenges due to your unflirty nature, leading to a series of failed romances. Yet, amidst the chaos, you learn to embrace your flaws and vulnerabilities. Through your journey, you discover that true beauty lies in authenticity and resilience, emerging as a beacon of hope for your love life.
Crystals: Rose, Diamond
Traits: Unflirty, Gloomy, Outgoing
Aspiration: Painter
Career: Style Influencer
Rules;

Master Charisma, Painting and Photography skills.
Have three failed relationships before finding your spouse.
Marry a cheerful sim.

The Fifth Gen
You harbor a deep passion for history and want to become an archaeology scholar. You embark on a journey to become a scholar in the field. Through your expeditions, you learn to reconcile your desires with your morals, understanding that true wisdom comes from sharing knowledge rather than hoarding treasures. You become a guardian of history, using your unique traits to uncover hidden truths and preserve the past for future generations, realizing that your journey has only just begun amidst the ruins of civilizations long forgotten.
Crystals: Sapphire, Amazonite, Emerald
Traits: Neat, Loves Outdoors, Materialistic
Aspiration: Archaeology Scholar
Career: Education
Rules;

Complete Ancient Omiscan Artifacts and Omiscan Treasures collections.
Master Archaeology and Selvadoradian Culture skills.
Get in the education career after completing your aspiration.

The Sixth Gen
You have a passion for creating immersive stories and a desire to become a bestselling author. You find inspiration from uncovering the hidden truths of your fellow sim's lives. You discover that every story you uncover with your creativity and deception skills is driven by your longing for truth. As you climb the ladder of success, you face moral dilemmas about whether to expose the secrets you discover or protect those you love. Through your adventures, you learn that the greatest stories lie not in books but in the lives of those around you, and that the most powerful truth is the one you find within yourself.
Crystals: Orange Topaz, Turquoise
Traits: Nosy, Cheerful, Bookworm
Aspiration: Best Selling Author
Career: Writer
Rules;

Master writing and mischief skills.
Must live in at least three different worlds for young adult and adult life.
Eavesdrop on your neighbors and keep their secrets.

The Seventh Gen
You are a hopeless romantic who struggles to afford rent until you cross paths with a total stranger, who becomes both your roommate and closest friend. Despite your best efforts, you can’t find your place in a series of random part-time jobs. Your whimsical nature is often at odds with the demands of the working world. However, your romantic fantasies come crashing into reality when you embark on a passionate affair with a charismatic celebrity. Despite the famous person’s initial hesitance to commit and their preoccupation with their career, you find yourself swept up in a whirlwind romance that leads to a surprise pregnancy. Though doubts linger about the child's paternity, our celebrity steps up, proposes to you and whisks your life to luxury. Yet, as you settle into your opulent lifestyle, tensions brew between you and your best friend, who had always been wary of the intentions of your partner. Your friendship ultimately fractures under the weight of your new life, leaving you torn between loyalty to your friend and the uncertain but alluring promises of your newfound family, illustrating the complex interplay of fate, love, and friendship in your journey.
Crystals: Ruby, Fire Opal
Traits: Romantic, Childish, Noncommittal
Aspiration: Serial Romantic
Career: Part - Time Jobs
Rules;

Must live with a roommate until you marry.
Get level 3 in Babysitter, Fast Food Employee and Retail Employee careers.
Have an accidental pregnancy with a celebrity and marry them.
Be a housewife after you marry and devote yourself to raising your children.

The Eight Gen
You are a unique individual that dreams of becoming a professional athlete. Your love for nightlife and karaoke clashes with your quiet apartment complex's atmosphere, leading to frequent complaints from neighbors. Despite the challenges of balancing your party animal lifestyle with rigorous training, you remain determined to pursue your passion for both athleticism and socializing. Through your journey, you learn valuable lessons about responsibility and compromise, ultimately proving that with perseverance and the right attitude, you can achieve your dreams while respecting others' needs.
Crystals: Nitelite, Quartz
Traits: Squeamish, Dance Machine, Active
Aspiration: Party Animal
Career: Athlete
Rules;

Complete City Posters collection.
Master singing, dancing and fitness skills.
Must accept every invitation to parties.
Must live in an apartment with the Quiet Lot trait.

The Ninth Gen
You are a hot-headed foodie, on their journey to becoming an expert nectar maker. Leaving city life behind, you move to a rural ranch to grow ingredients and craft unique nectars. Despite challenges and occasional outbursts, your determination never wavers. Through experimentation and perseverance, you refine your skills, eventually opening a successful nectar retail shop. Along the way, you find fulfillment in sharing your passion for food and drink. Through your journey, you discover not only mastery in your craft but also a sense of belonging and purpose, showcasing the transformative power of following one's passion.
Crystals: Amber, Rainborz, Peach
Traits: Socially Awkard, Hot Headed, Foodie
Aspiration: Expert Nectar Maker
Career: Run a retail shop
Rules;

Complete Experimental Food Photos collection.
Master Nectar Making and Gardening skills.
Grow a Death Flower.

The Tenth Gen
You stand out as a sim with an unwavering love for music and curiosity over flowers. Your life takes an unexpected turn when you unintentionally hasten your grandmother's passing with a bouquet infused with the scent of a death flower. Miraculously, you plead successfully with the Grim Reaper for your grandmother's life, discovering a newfound ability to summon death's harbinger and negotiate the fate of others. Despite the Grim Reaper's ominous presence, you form an unlikely friendship, eventually blossoming into an ill-fated romance. However, you learn the hard way that your love is forbidden, as spending time with the Grim Reaper accelerates your own aging. Despite this heartbreak, you channel your emotions into composing haunting melodies dedicated to your impossible love and tend to your garden with a fervent devotion. You await the passage of time, yearning for a reunion with your beloved Grim Reaper, even if only in spirit.
Crystals: Hematite, Jet, Simanite
Traits: Geek, Slob, Music Lover
Aspiration: Soulmate
Rules;

Master Pipe Organ and Flower Arranging skills.
Give a death flower scented arrangement to your elderly grandparent then plead for them.
Have full friendship and romance bar with Grim Reaper.
Date with Grim for a bit then break up.
Don’t get married and don’t have any children.

I’m 20 weeks pregnant today. This baby is very much wanted and planned for but I am struggling more than I thought I would be. I don’t really look pregnant yet, just kind of fat/bloated. I lost a ton of weight my first trimester due to nausea, then gained it back but mostly in boobs. My teen self would be thrilled but I mostly find it unsettling and painful. TMI but the skin of one of my nipples literally cracked open I think from how fast everything grew. I had to ditch a ton of my skin care ingredients and sunscreen etc. so my skin feels dull and acne prone. I had to stop laser hair removal for the time being while also simultaneously becoming the most hairy I’ve ever been (hormones maybe?) My main form of exercise/hobby which I participated in 5-6 hours a week is not safe for pregnancy so now I do yoga once a week which is not the same. My sleep was already garbage but now I wake up to pee most nights and am paranoid about sleeping in the wrong position and harming my baby. I may not be allowed to travel at 35 weeks for my sister’s wedding in another state.
I know all of these are majorly first world problems, that I am lucky to have had a healthy pregnancy so far and no major symptoms but like everything together is really weighing on me, I did not expect everything to start sucking so early I guess? Like for having so little belly right now I thought I’d be able to go about my usual routines to some extent until I’m closer to my due date but I just feel this loss of like things I enjoyed about my life and it’s starting to really wear on me.
I’m not sure what advice I’m looking for as I know this is all temporary to some extent/may only get worse once baby arrives but I am struggling

Powerpoints on teen pregnancy

Health Daily News May 20 2024

Why nightmares and ‘daymares’ could be early warning signs of autoimmune disease

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