Hey everyone,
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Hi, I'm u/WeighTheEvidence2, a non-trinitarian monotheist, and my thesis for this post is:

PSALM 45:6-7 AND HEBREWS 1:8-9 DO NOT SUPPORT THE TRINITY

Let's weigh the evidence

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °

NIV, Psalm 45:6-7:

Quote 

[6] Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever; a scepter of justice will be the scepter of your kingdom.
[7] You love righteousness and hate wickedness; therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy.

Unquote 

NIV, Hebrews 1:8-9:

Quote 

[8] But about the Son he says, “Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever; a scepter of justice will be the scepter of your kingdom.
[9] You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness; therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy.”

Unquote 

Like others, this is a translation issue. Here is the alternate translation from the unitarian REV Bible.
REV, Psalm 45:6-7:

Quote 

[8] but of the Son it says, Your throne is God forever and ever, and the scepter of uprightness is the scepter of your kingdom.
[9] You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness. Therefore God, your God, has anointed you with the oil of gladness rather than your companions.

Quote 

Now it seems disrespectful to me that God would be compared to a throne, but ancient languages were very different to ours.
The REV explains:

Quote 

“Your throne is God forever” means that God is the authority, the “throne” of the king

Unquote 

Because when you think about it, the king is the person that sits on the throne, but when the king dies, someone else sits on the throne and now they are king. The throne is the constant. Poetically speaking, the throne is the authority.
Like the idiom "ascend to the throne." As if the throne itself holds the political power. Not the physical throne itself, but the idea of it.
Also, in one of the previous verses we have God blessing the son:
REV, Psalm 45:2:

Quote 

[2] You are the most beautiful of the sons of men. Grace has been poured upon your lips, therefore God has blessed you forever.

Unquote 

You would have to believe that this is God blessing God, which doesn't make logical sense.
As for ​Psalm 45:7, the trinitarian interpretation is that "God" is being spoken to, and is being told about "God's God." Which, I mean, even under a trinitarian understanding seems kind of inconsistent, incompatible and incomprehensible to me.
Moreover, the alternate understanding works even in the english translation, it's just an emphasis. As in 'God has anointed you, and not just any God, your God, specifically your God!'
As for the "forever" part, even non-trinitarian christians believe that Jesus still holds some kind of divine authority even after his death.
After all, he is going to come back eventually.
Another argument for Psalm 45 is that this chapter is found in the Old Testament, the jewish scripture. And the jews did not take this prophecy to mean that the Messiah would be God almighty in the flesh. Far from it.
REV:

Quote 

. . .the Jews read the Psalm for centuries and knew it was ultimately about their Messiah, but never concluded that the Messiah was “God in the flesh” or part of a Triune God.

Unquote 

And naturally, they, the educated jews, being scholars of the faith and native speakers of the hebrew language, would be authoritative on this issue.

Quote (same source) 

. . . the Targum (an Aramaic commentary on the Old Testament) interprets Psalm 45:2 as, “Thy beauty, O king Messiah, is greater than that of the sons of men.”
So ​if God gave the revelation to His people ​to tell them the Messiah would be God, His effort was an epic failure

Unquote 

So it's entirely plausible that this verse is not stating that Jesus is God. Therefore, the trinitarian case regarding these verses falls apart.
Thanks for reading, I've been u/WeighTheEvidence2. If you're truthful, may God bless you and lead you to the truth, and vice versa.
^{Please consider reading my other posts which can be found in my post index which is pinned on my profile \}just click my name) and share my posts to those you think would be interested.)
^{My DMs are always open by the way, don't be afraid to ask any questions or request a post. If you haven't already, make a reddit account and leave your thoughts, it's easy.}

Tl;DR: My extra SSD and HDD have disappeared from my computer, can’t open bios, and my computer is very slow to boot up and load stuff. Read bottom for basic specs.
(I’m using windows 10 btw) Hi the other day I was installing an update for a game when suddenly it stopped. I looked at steam and the error said “disk write read error.” Then I looked to see how much storage I had on that SSD and it was missing from my computer. I tried a lot to get it back but too no avail. Thought it just shat itself so I took it out, but then my computer started taking forever to boot up and stuff like the taskbar not loading for a while. In file explorer it shows up as a local disk (f) 50% of the time, even though it’s not in my computer. Other 50% of the time it’s not there. I factory reset my computer to try and fix it, which didn’t work, it still shows up in my file explorer. Was ignoring all the issues until today my other disk, which is an HHD, disappeared similarly to the SSD. I tried going into bios to screw around in the settings but my bios will not open (yes I’m pressing the right button).
I still have my motherboard SSD, and that’s working as expected. This goes way beyond my knowledge of computer parts working together. My motherboard is an MSI, don’t know what model as I can’t load that part of settings lol. It’s old though, with an i7 that’s older too, and I have a 3060. Sorry for the long as paragraph, but I hope someone can help me with this issue. Thank you!

I’ve been on dates, kissed girls, but never wanted to take anything far enough but I can’t take it anymore, I need a sexual experience with a woman even if it is just online

So I recently got into the fish hobby not too long ago and lost a few guppies and learned from a lot of mistakes, after nearly losing half of my 9 guppies I started researching a lot more rather than listening to the guy at Petco and petsmart I sort of came to the conclusion that the reason they were dying is because my tap water is treated with chloramine and when it’s conditioned it just becomes ammonia
My question is can I use zeolite to treat the water before using it to change my tank water?
My temporary solution is going to the local store and getting 20 jugs of spring water at the moment but it’s getting costly and chugging 20 jugs gets pretty tiring after climbing a flight of stairs.
I got a RO unit but it doesn’t do much against ammonia when I tested it
My thought process is this my carbon filter will turn the chloramine into ammonia then I would use the ammonia water and run it through a tube full of zeolite. Which I would then use to change the water for my 40g 20g and 10g tanks
Has anyone had any experience with preparing water this way?

Idk i always know in myself that something is wrong with me because i cant take breakups easily, and I always beg for the other person to not leave me behind, until I find another person to obsess over, and the cycle continues. My therapist said this is just one of the things we’re gonna talk about, and I have a long way to go before I can recover. Im just 21 years old btw and I grew up without any father figure.
Will I ever recover? I want to be a better person.

I need help deciding if one of my friends has a crush on me, or if I should act on my own feelings.
My friend and I have known each other for about 6 months, we became friends pretty quickly after she moved here from overseas. I felt so sure that she liked me for months and I began catching feelings for her too, but I was in a relationship at the time and didn't want to encourage anything. Now I've broken up with my long-term boyfriend, being with her is more of a reality so I've started taking more notice of her signals. But now I feel like she gives off very mixed signals about how she feels, and I don't want to overstep her boundaries if she doesn't actually reciprocate.
If she does actually like me, I'm worried that we couldn't take things further without ruining the dynamic within our wider circle of mutual friends. To complicate matters further, I think I should leave more time after my recent breakup before I engage with anybody else, especially for the sake of my own personal development. She's also moved here from another country temporarily, so if we did take things further I know that she'd have to move back home eventually and that would be pretty devastating.
To keep things simple, I've summarised the positive and negative signals that I've noticed from her below.
Positive signs:
The first thing I noticed when we first met is that she gets really cuddly with me when she's drunk. She'll lean on me, hug me, put her legs across my lap, hold my arm, etc. She does some of this with our other friends too, but it seems more full on and prolonged with me. The last time she got drunk, she sat next to me and put her hand directly on mine and didn't move it away for a few minutes or so.
We've gone swimming together with friends before, afterwards we shared a shower together when there wasn't enough for all of us. She seemed really nervous/unable to make eye contact and stayed in the shower for way longer than normal.
This is pretty stupid, but once I retold a joke I'd seen online that goes "Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that's why I f-ck the company mime". When she heard it, she immediately started pretending to be trapped in a box and said "I can be a mime!". It totally went over my head at the time, but in retrospect it seemed like she was implying that she'd like me to f-ck her?
She's told me deeply personal things and shown me art that she's made clear she hasn't shown anyone else/very few people, despite the fact that I didn't feel super close with her at the time.
Recently she invited me swimming suddenly, and even though she could've invited plenty of our other available friends she only asked me to come. She kept talking about how excited she was to have a long, hot shower in the changing rooms afterwards. When we returned from our swim, she seemed unusually concerned about all the other people around the changing rooms that she didn't expect to be there. Once inside, she entered the larger of the two shower cubicles and left the door open behind her. I like her, but I didn't want to seem too forward, so instead of joining her I used the other shower. She only stayed in her cubicle for a minute, without even taking off her wetsuit like she normally would. Then she made some rushed excuse and left very suddenly, which felt really weird and contradicted all her talk earlier. Maybe I'm too hopeful, but that seemed to me as if she really wanted us to have a private shower together and then she left when it didn't happen as planned?
She makes a lot of prolonged eye contact with me, it's hard to tell but I've also caught her glancing at me a few times when she thinks I'm not looking. Even in group conversations or when directing speech at someone else, she makes direct eye contact with me a lot more than other people.
This might just be a friend thing, but she casually touches me more than what feels normal. She often touches my back or head, grabs my arm/shoulder to point out something, leans on me when we're watching movies, and touches my hand when we're petting the same dog together. I recently tried on some clothes she offered to give me, and she touched my wrist/brushed away my hair to free it from underneath a garment when she didn't need to.
She's started specifically inviting only me to do things together, even when our other close mutual friends are available and would probably be keen to join too. When we do stuff together, we do things that feel like a date, like getting dinner at restaurants together and looking for nocturnal animals at night in isolated places.
She's talked to me a lot about discovering her sexuality, her past sexual/romantic experiences, and thinking that she might be gay. She's made it clear that she doesn't discuss this with many other people, including our mutual friends that I thought she was closer with than me. I hadn't indicated anything about being LGBT myself before that point, nor do I outwardly present as queer, and plenty of our mutual friends are queer too.
I recently broke up with my long-term boyfriend. When I told her about my plans to break up with him, she seemed to get uncharacteristically excited. That night, she gifted me a drawing, cooked me a meal, and said something along the lines of "I'd be way better than your boyfriend" right after I talked to her about it.
Although she's a pretty cynical/deadpan kind of person, she compliments me a lot. She's mentioned that she likes my legs/my haimy outfits, and thinks I'm smart/good with computers.
We've started messaging a lot online for extended periods (like once texting nonstop for a few hours straight).
She often talks to me about wanting a relationship/feeling lonely/her newly discovered interest in sex, after she thought she might be asexual.
She's commented before about how much we have in common (like our music), and how long we can talk for.
This one feels dumb, but when we were driving together I complained about how sore my left hand was from all the drawing I'd been doing lately. She immediately made a joke that implied that my hand was sore because I'd been masturbating. It wasn't the kind of joke she'd usually make, and seemed to imply that she thinks about me doing that?
I have a pretty stupid sounding laugh. One time when we were drunk, my other friend starting imitating my laugh to mock me about it. She immediately came to my defence and told her to stop mocking me, which felt pretty out of character for her.
Now for the negative signs:
She can randomly be pretty mean to me, sometimes I've asked if I can sit next to her and she's said "no" really bluntly, in a way that I can't tell is sarcastic or not. Or once I was hanging out at her apartment, and I asked her to let me know when I'd overstayed my welcome. She abruptly told me to leave in a way that I also couldn't tell was sarcastic. Sometimes she bluntly tells me that my jokes aren't funny, that what I just said was weird, and a few times before she's point-blank told me to "shut up" (although she has apologised about it afterwards)
She often leaves my messages on read or takes a long time to get back to me when I text her, even if we were right in the middle of a conversation.
Previously she's told me that she sometimes doesn't want to hug me, and has asked me to move further away from her on the couch when we were watching a movie together.
There can be awkward pauses in our conversations, or long moments of silence. It makes me feel like I need to put in all the effort to fill the gaps/keep the conversation going, while she doesn't always do the same.
When we bump into each other, she doesn't necessarily seem that excited to see me.
Caveats:
She and many other people who know her suspect that she might be on the autism spectrum. I mention it because I think it could explain how she shows some of the negative signs, in spite of all the positive ones. Maybe that's just wishful thinking though?
Please let me know what you think and what I should do about this crush, I'm so confused about everything!
tl;dr: My friend seems to have a crush on me, but I can't tell for sure. I like her too, but I don't know if I should act on my feelings because I recently broke up with somebody else, and her stay here isn't permanent. Any advice is appreciated!

I absolutely love the cremator, its a giant fireball flinging machine with different colours and has amazing mob clear. But it's viability as a boss-killing weapon has been absolutely neutered by this update and it makes me incredibly upset. It will still kill most mob targets in one hit and those it doesn't the newly buffed dot will kill (even if waiting for enemies to die isn't a particularly fun mechanic imo) but against bosses before the patch you were able to hit crits upwards of 7k, I myself was oneshotting scorchbeasts with it and it was great fun now its a struggle to make it do 2-3k on a crit, the dot adds at most 200-400 dps based on the tank you are using and buffs. This completely pales in comparison to the 1000+ dps that railway rifles can easily hit. People will come out the woodwork to say "nOt eVeRyThInG hAs tO bE oP" and I entirely agree, I'm not unaware of that but the fact remains that for me and for many others and hopefully for you when you actually think about it, its not that fun to be using a weapon you love on a boss and then have someone with a choo-choo train gun come and outdo your dps 5 times over. I don't think that's not understandable. It ALREADY didn't even really come that close dps-wise to the railway before the patch but it was close enough that I personally didn't feel bad using it and it was among the top heavy weapon dps options. Now, its back to the holy fire, gatling plas, etc. for heavy gunners instead of a fun new weapon not to even mention that many people will just go back to the railway rifle now. At the end of the day I hope they either rework the way dot works to make it viable for bossing if that's direction they want to take the weapon or they buff up the impact damage on direct hits enough that the single target is back to where it was but the AOE is in its current state. I'd love to hear genuine discussion on this because otherwise I'm just pretty upset, I've gotten back into loving this game being someone who plays destiny and other games and it feels really demoralising to have the same issues that plagued those games (fun new things being nerfed immediately while the same stale meta is completely ignored) come into this one. Thanks for coming to my TED talk. <3

I blocked him yesterday evening after his best friend/roommate told me he had another girl stay the night right after a fight we had, which was only 5 days ago. He does not know that his closest friend told me this. We were together 3 years and looking back, there were some things I looked past, like snapchat notifications from that same girl, blonde hair in the hairbrush I left in his room, etc. So I believe his friend and know him to be a genuinely good and honest person. I know this was really difficult for him to tell me considering how close they are and their living arrangement. He asked me to please not tell my boyfriend that he told me since he could potentially get kicked out of the house. I didn't tell him anything. I instead just immediately blocked him without saying a word. We were having good few days so I knew this would be unexpected.
Anyway, I checked my blocked voicemails and noticed one from last night. He said, "I just wanted to say that you're lame and annoying for having your phone turned off and that I'm heading home from the gym. I thought you were going to come over tonight, I miss you and love you. Please come over after you finish taking your final exams later so I can kiss you on the forehead. you're going to do great. I love you and miss you a lot."
You're joking. I will continue to leave him blocked and he will figure out that I know he had a girl over the same night we had that fight and during our other rough patches as well.

I'm 18 moved with my family to Bali not too long ago, I have been looking to finish my driving lessons then take the driving test here in Bali, what are some good schools for driving (preferably English speaking)?

Today I woke up in a pool of blood. Waking up feeling wet down there with mild shooting abdomen pain realising you got your period has to be the worst start of the day. The feeling of blood-soaked underwear touching your hoohaa is the most disgusting feeling EVER.😷
I hate these 5 days of the month. I feel so frustrated right now. Why does it have to be so painful🥺?? I don't know how many of you can relate to this but I feel like I have to poop but in reality, I don't have to, it's just the unbearable pain in my lower abdomen and lower back that makes me feel that way. Also, I don't know why but sitting on the toilet and letting myself bleed there feels a bit less painful. It is so absurd I know.
My body hurts at weird places during periods. Lower back and lower abdomen are universal but along with it my thighs and my fucking ass hurts. I cannot sit in one place for longer during periods because my ass gets sore🥲. My boobs hurt as well and my bra starts getting slightly tighter before my periods till the few days after my periods end.
My mumma always asks me to take painkillers to reduce the pain and I hate to admit this but I deny it every time because God knows why I have to prove to some imaginary beings in my head that I am 💪sehenshakti ki devi💪and can bear pain without medication. I am a fucking clown for this mygod🤡
Every minor inconvenience makes me feel like crying during these days. I was just listening to "Choo Lo" by "The Local Train" right now and bawling my eyes out imagining my boyfriend leaving me. This one time I was rewatching 'Kabhi khushi kabhi gham' during periods and was crazy crying like MANIAC during Shahrukh and Amitabh's reunion in the end👁👄👁. It is so funny to think about this as I have never cried before for that stupid scene.
I feel so happy and grateful that I am privileged enough to rest during these days of pain💫. My heart goes for all those girls and women who have difficult periods and still have to work during that time. Stay strong ladies I am proud of you all! Sending love and hugs to everyone having not-so-easy periods🫂💝
(Sehenshakti ki devi ~ Goddess of Tolerance)

A human body consists of two kidneys that are shaped like beans; however, a kidney transplant is done when the person both kidneys are damaged due to end-stage disease. One of the kidneys is replaced with a healthy kidney so that the patient can live a better quality of life with the new kidney. Kidney transplants can be done with the deceased donor or from the living donor. Kidney transplants depend on factors like blood type and it should be a perfect match, hence most of the time kidney donor comes from the patient's family as if become a good match for the patient. A person can live a better and normal life with one kidney with certain restrictions which are minimal in day-to-day life be it a donor who donates the kidney or the patient whose kidney is replaced with a healthy kidney. A kidney donor should range between 18 to 60 years of age with no long-term health issues or any disease like cancer, diabetes, etc. A donor should be healthy to donate the kidney to the needy. The donor and the patient both recover within 6 to 8 weeks after the surgery and can resume light work.
Kidney Transplant Cost in India
The cost of kidney transplantation surgery depends on the type of transplant, whether it is done with the deceased donor or living donor. Package includes of the medication used, hospital room for the patient and the donor (in case of living donor), different types of blood tests before and after the surgery, tissue type, cross-matching the kidney, post-surgery follow-ups, and extended stay in the hospital if required. The average cost is between 577000 to 769000 INR approximately.
Kidney transplant Hospitals in India
India has the best hospitals for kidney transplants with all the modern techniques and medication that make the surgery successful. It has all the multi-special facilities for the patients to recover at the best possible time with qualified and friendly staff to take care of the patient to feel better after the treatment so that the patient doesn’t feel depressed.
Kidney Transplant surgeons in India
There are well-known and expert surgeons who hold many years of experience in kidney transplantation. They are trained especially in kidney transplantation surgery. There is a team of expert doctors who perform the surgery. Hence it makes India known for its treatments
Al AfiyaMedi Tour is a leading medical tourism company in India. We offer medical tourism services such as finding the right doctor, the right hospital, and cost estimation etc. Some of the main countries are Bangladesh, South Africa, Egypt, Uganda, Zambia, Sudan, Dubai, Namibia, Iraq, Kenya, Saudi Arabia, Ethiopia, Nigeria, and so on. We provide free medical assistance for TURP surgery cost, lung cancer treatment, bone marrow transplant cost, best liver transplant hospital, cosmetic andplastic surgery, heart surgery, liver transplant cost, top knee replacement surgeons, top shoulder replacement surgeons, hip replacement surgery, leukemia treatment cost, best bone marrow hospital, etc.
Source: https://alafiyameditour1.blogspot.com/2024/04/kidney-transplant-in-india-for.html

Can you plant close to the edge and at diagonals?
I know some plants it just won’t really work like tomatoes have always became massive and I know I didn’t prune them properly but they took over the whole bed. So I built two more 3x10 beds and bought another large pot.
First time trying broccoli from seed and some sources say 2-4 plants per person which with 18” spacing takes up a lot.
My first bed is 4x8 and 36” tall but the new ones are 16” tall (2 yrs old with great soil.) I keep wanting to build more because I don’t know exactly what I want to grow in each. I know garlic is great and onions but garlic I can wait till the fall and build another bed.
I feel a bit lost in what plants to plant and where at times. The peppers are by far the easiest as they don’t crowd out and produce well. Eggplant is not too bad either.
Anyways you have 3 -30sqft beds what do you plant in each?

Hey friends - i need to buy a car - here are some details

• 45 yr old new/inexperience driver (raised in nyc but live in Alaska)
• mom
• need to start driving regularly for hybrid work and taking kid to school and stuff
• currently with a lr3 Land Rover but it’ over 110k miles so i need to get something else for me and the kiddo that I feel will be trustworthy
• I don’t have a garage so vehicle will likely be parked outside unless I get a carport or move
• i live in a small town/walkable neighborhood. At most id be driving around 80 miles a week if even that much

Most important criteria: - ideally $20k or less (though willing to consider increasing this if it’s worth it in the long run) - safe is biggest priority - would love technology like eyesight or TSS or the equivalent - ideally 50k miles or under but flexible if it’s reliable - good in all weather - rain, snow, etc
Other things: - don’t want a sedan - i do like nice things to look at and beautiful interiors. I want to enjoy the experience of driving it at all possible given my most important parameters but i understand beggars can’t be choosers

Hello fellow INTJs,
I've encountered a recurring challenge in communications where my literal, fact-based comments are often misinterpreted through a social-emotional lens, leading to frequent misunderstandings. This issue seems to stem from others filtering what I say through their biases or expecting emotional subtexts that I do not intend.
A few examples provided at the end for clarity.
This communication style is particularly frustrating because it feels highly inefficient and prone to misunderstandings. When conversations are filtered through biases and preconceived notions rather than directly addressing the content of what's being said, it can feel like my actual words are lost in translation. This often leads to a sense that people are hearing everything I'm not saying, rather than what I am explicitly stating.
It challenges the essence of effective communication: if the listener is not truly listening to the words being spoken and instead is interpreting them based on their own emotional and cultural context, how can any discussion be fruitful? It feels like being in a perpetual state of being misunderstood, which is not only exhausting but also diminishes the potential for meaningful dialogue and problem-solving.
I'm curious if other INTJs can relate? Do you also get frustrated by people not listening to what you are actually saying?
One possibility I thought of is neurodivergence, if you're not as adept at reading these cues and emotional contexts then you may rely much more on what is being said but if this is more accessible to you, then it makes sense to weight it more heavily.
Examples for Clarity:

• Discussing Public Figures: When I comment on the professional insights of controversial figures like Jordan Peterson or Elon Musk, even a single positive observation is often misconstrued as a full endorsement, based on the listener's preconceived notions about these individuals.
• General Logical Discussions: In debates, my attempts to address the reliability of expert opinions are often dismissed. For instance, in a debate about the a specific topic if I try to make a general point about the reliability of expert opinions, my point that "experts can err and have differing opinions, so this specific expert could be wrong" often gets dismissed by those who think I shouldn't comment at all because I'm not an expert myself. Even though my point is general and doesn't require expertise on that topic.
• Critiquing Logical Fallacies: I recently critiqued an IQ test question on pattern recognition involving golf clubs, pointing out the logical fallacy of assuming unrelated events would follow a predictable pattern (e.g., just because five stocks rise doesn't guarantee a sixth will). My argument was dismissed not because it was invalid, but because my listeners misinterpreted my critique as confusion about the question itself rather than a critique of its underlying assumptions.

As always, be cautious when buying from people you don't know. Scammers are a real threat. If it's too good to be true, it probably is. Always check the person's post history and account age before transacting with them, and Paypal Goods & Services is highly recommended. Disclaimer: This thread is simply a community resource; you assume all risk & responsibility for buying or selling tickets with others here.
Rules

1. All tickets for sale must have a price listed.
2. All tickets must be listed at face value (i.e. the original price you bought it for).
3. If your ticket has been sold, please edit your listing to mark it as sold.

If you suspect someone is scamming, please message the aves Mod Team directly so that we can take action swiftly: https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/aves.
Additional relevant resources:

• https://19hz.info/
• https://ra.co/events/
• https://edmtrain.com/
• https://www.heatware.com/
• https://universalscammerlist.com/search.php

I’ve met women, been on dates, kissed, but never connected or wanted to ever take it far enough, but I’m so horny I can’t take it anymore, I just want to experience anything sexual with another woman even if it is just online

This is a place for quick questions that don’t need an in depth answer.
”Has anybody tried xxxx preworkout?”
”Can I take xxxx with xxxx?”
”What is a good supplement for xxxx?”

So i (20f) just got recruited in a small firm and i start work at the end of this month. The pay is alright,quite more than average and I’m also studying acca and cpa and will continue to study along with work. I’ve just been feeling very anxious about starting work and feel like I’m going to miss out on so much. I know that’s how life is but everyone around me seem to be having fun and have not taken up work and taking a drop year while I’ve been studying my bachelors and acca together for the last 2 years without any breaks and i never got much time to hang out with friends and go out now i feel like again I’m going to be stuck in the same circle just replacing college with work and an additional cpa course. It seems so childish to me to fret about normal life but i dont know i can’t really talk to anyone about it cause no one is understanding me so I’m here.

So before I had met my wife, I was in another sexual relationship with a ex girlfriend of mine. I knew her for 6 years and wasn’t looking for a relationship at the time. So we ended up sleeping with each other again and didn’t think much about if she got pregnant or not. So one day I am walking to the store and she drives up on me, upset. I ask her what’s wrong and she told me to get in the car. I did. She is silent for about 2 min , until she looks and me and shows me a paper. She says , “don’t hate me, but Im pregnant.” I look at her, and back down at the paper, and back up to her again. Only thing I could think to say was, “Is it mine? Is there any possibility?” She looked at me for awhile and said ,”no there’s no possibility.” I’m not gonna lie it shattered me. But it is what is it. So I meet an amazing woman shortly after that. She ended up becoming my wife. The other woman continued with her pregnancy, and I continued to build me life, build a family. My wife is now pregnant. At this point the other woman has given birth. So happy to FINALY have a child of my own, my wife and I post on a social media site pictures of the pregnancy test. A few months later the other woman’s sister messages me . She sends a picture of the other woman’s child. Telling me things like, “step up for your son and be the father he deserves!” “ I can’t believe you’re such a piece of shit for leaving your son before birth. Now he looks just like you.” I noticed that He did. So I left for a day to sort all this out with the other woman. I came back and my wife found out where I had been. She lost it. Understandably. After all this was supposed to be a perfect life with her new husband and child. I felt horrible. My wife had our beautiful child. So perfect t, life seemed amazing.at this point I hadn’t talked to the other woman for months. Then she messaged my wife and saying I had a son I wasn’t talking care of. We argued, my wife and i. As time passed I heard my wife almost everyday talk about that and bring it up in ALL fights afterwards. It started getting to me and I started to feel like a piece of shit for not being there for him as my father had left me at a young age. I gained the courage and brought it up to my wife. She proceeded to tell me that if I ever tried to be in his life , I would never see my children again. Shocked, I believed her. So I left it alone . Years pass. My family and I go to a skating rink because my daughter has wanted to go for awhile now. We walk in start having fun, falling asleep few times but fun none the less. And then I see him…the other woman’s child, right In front of me we the woman’s brothers and mom. I panic on the inside. My wife and kids are skating. So I’m don’t say a word and proceed to skate with my daughter . This guilt is destroying me For weeks now. I don’t want to loose my family. But a kid is in loss of a father. I need advice

Are you taking care of your 6 human needs?
Remember that they all are very important for you to be happy without pornography.
So if you are taking care of them - you will quit your addiction much faster, because you will not need fake source of pleasure to be happy.
You will already be happy!

Here are 6 human needs description and tips:

• CERTAINTY

Gives you confidence, sense of security and trust.
If you don't have it - you will feel a lot of pressure, stress and anxiety, because you don't trust anyone or everything that is happening in the world or around you. (You will feel bad)
However - if you have too much certainty - you will feel BORED and Overwhelmed. That's a feeling of being stuck in a predictable, boring routine.
And in many cases, including mine - boredom is one of the main triggers for addiction, because you will tend to look for something that can excites you. And nothing can excites you more than something that gives you so much PLEASURE!
Bad Certainty Behavior: Overeating, control of others, binge watch TV/Netfilx/Anime, procrastination, etc..
Manage your certainty by - cleaning, developing empowering rituals(workout, exercise, meditation, reading, etc), focusing on the things you want in life, instead of listening or following others.
​

• UNCERTAINTY / VARIETY

You might be asking - ''but why the Heck I need Uncertainty?''
That's the FUN part. It will get you out of the BOREDOM of certainty.
Our human needs are built in a very strange way, that they actually are in conflict with each other. But if you look deep - you will understand that it is exactly what gives your life Drive and Excitement!
That's why you need Uncertainty, or in other words - Variety.
You need to have something unpredictable happening in your life, or else - it will be boring!
That's like - eating one and the same dish all the time. Very soon - you will get bored or even sick of it!
Bad Uncertainty Behavior: Overwhelm, drug, intoxication, change TV channels/Anime/Netfilx, Self sabotage, create drama and problems.
Manage your Uncertainty by: new challenges, changing the meaning of events, hobbies, be creative, learn and discover new things
​

• LOVE & CONNECTION

In short - if you don't care about this - you will feel LONELY.
And loneliness is the MAIN triggereason for you to stay in this addiction! No matter you like it or not!
Love & Connection is when you feel that someone is actually caring about you. Or supports you in a certain way.
We all need this feeling! Or else - we will feel very Lonely.
Bad Love & Connection Behavior: being needy, self harm, unhealthy/toxic relationships
Manage Love & Connection by: sharing, supporting others, connect through nature, faith, loving and respecting yourself, independent relationships
Tip: If you can't create relationships right now for one reason or another - Spirituality and connection with God also takes part of this Human Need!
​

• 𝗦𝗜𝗚𝗡𝗜𝗙𝗜𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘

This human need is all about being heard, noticed, recognized and simply - listened.
It is the feeling of being unique, special and being needed.
If you don't have it - you will feel worthless and depressed.
Bad Significance Behavior: People can often raise their sense of significance by using alcohol, engage into arguments, talk gossips, being victim, tell sad stories about self, rebellion or surround yourself with people who seems less skilled or attractive, so you can stand out.
This approach is neither good nor healthy.
Manage your Significance by: directing your competitive nature into healthy activities, like sports, mastering new skill, speaking up, mastering a craft or field, achieving goal or volunteering.
​

• 𝗚𝗥𝗢𝗪𝗧𝗛

"𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦." 𝙏𝙤𝙣𝙮 𝙍𝙤𝙗𝙗𝙞𝙣𝙨
If you are not growing as an individual - sooner or later it will make you feel bad, or even worthless. Especially if you have friends, or someone you know, who are doing better than you and are completely succeeding in life, while you are not moving at all.
Don't worry - you can become someone you always wanted to be, if you will take this human need seriously!
Bad Growth Behavior: Gathering information without applying. (Learning is cool and might be very exciting, but without applying it in real life - it is worthless.)
People whose core need is growth are always striving to be better and learn more.
Manage your Growth by: self development, leaning & practicing, pursuit of mastery, teaching others (The more you teach - the better you learn)
Don't forget emotional and spiritual growth as well!
​

• 𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗕𝗨𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡

Last but not least - feeling of doing something MEANINGFUL.
It is a sense of service and focus on helping, giving and supporting others.
Colleagues, schoolmates, people in college, your family, friends, or just random person on street...
Giving back is the best way to fulfill this need. The closer the cause is to your heart, the more fulfilled you will feel.
Bad Contribution Behavior: Giving to get, being a martyr, not taking care of self
Manage your Contribution by: volunteering, donating, helping people (I believe animals can be included as well)
Tip: help people who are struggling to start quitting porn addiction. While you are still not done with this - you are way ahead of those who are only starting, right?
Go ahead and help others! Keep others accountable and you will feel better as well!
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